#i love the drama with relationships like this where one of them lives much longer it actually means a lot to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hwaightme · 6 months

Text

ateez as signs of love (relationship hcs)

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

8️⃣ pairing: bf!ateez x gn!reader 8️⃣ genre: headcanons, fluff, established long-term relationships 8️⃣ summary: the lessons, the comfort that love teaches and gives you, in a series of 8 headcanons with each of these beautiful souls 8️⃣ wordcount: 2.4k total 8️⃣ warnings/tags: not edited, drabble-style hcs, enamoured simping activated, soft and focused on subtle signs of love, energies that people give 8️⃣ taglist: at the bottom of the hcs 8️⃣ a/n: this anniversary holds a lot of significance to me, and i want to celebrate ateez together. i am forever grateful that they are in my life, and are a source of joy and hope. happy ateez day everyone. much love~

hongjoong

matching outfits, both in subtle and in louder ways - sharing accessories like earrings and rings, or colour coordinating for events you are attending together - a quiet signal that even if you are not loud about it, you two belong together and are on the same wavelength

lyrics dedicated to you and to what you have been through as a couple - how you have evolved and what you have seen and experienced; evolution through musical genre and through musical complexity - nods to travels, movies, conversations…

adoring glances across the room, wide smiles and hearty laughter at the silliest jokes simply because they are inside jokes in the language you two invented

challenging one another, proposing new viewpoints and debating on creative projects and ways forward in a healthy manner, while being each other’s number one fans and supporters; you can count on one another’s honest opinion, open arms and mind

late night calls, or calls that run through the entire night where you two either work remotely, or first connect under the pretense of sharing something but end up updating, chatting away, calming your hearts

becoming the second voice of reason, counting on the other to support and be the clarity when one is feeling distressed or unable to make a quick call of judgement or decision

encouraging freedom - two people with their own dreams and goals, respectful of space and time and working to maintain this even in a relationship; a powerful dynamic where the sky's the limit, and even then, you find a way to go above and beyond

having clear priorities and plans that span years, facing the future side by side and mapping it out against both individual and couple variables

seonghwa

feeling comfortable and safe to discuss feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, curled up on the couch together, drama left frozen on the television screen; bodies intertwined, hearts beating steadily, calmly, in a world built for two; deep conversations turning into pivotal moments, not being afraid to reveal and expose yourself to the other, being accepted and facing inner turmoil no longer alone

exploring and introducing each other to your interests and passions, learning and growing together, and in turn forming an even stronger connection through shared references, media, jokes; knowing each other's preferences and orders by heart, wordlessly sharing any meal with smiles on your faces and knowing what to send to one another when physically apart

order in a comfortable silence when doing chores or walking side by side in places you both love and cherish, wonderful chaos when both of you let go and play like kids again; reconnecting with all versions of yourselves and finding each one precious

encouraging each other to accept yourselves but also to expand horizons and to love both the world and the small things - operating by the “no harm in trying” principle

seeing each person as a universe, and other people, things, interests and events in their life as stars that form beautiful constellations - linking what is previously seen as disparate and making a new direction to develop into

making playlists for different moods, activities to suit the season, planning evenings days and mornings and then living through them with a serene enjoyment; reevaluating and rebuilding habits, finding fun in frustrations

returning home be it to an actual house or through the phone, talking about everything and nothing, and encouraging one another to try your best while maintaining a healthy balance

a safe space, because you are each other's home and no matter what you will be there to listen, to speak, to write the next lines in the poem of life together

yunho

reading each other's emotions and wordlessly showing support, be it through a touch of the hand or through the offering of a favourite snack or a kind word

playful competition, racing one another to the front door of your home, laughter ringing in the air; seeing the brighter side of the world together, and reminding one another that it exists when the going gets tough

spontaneous getaway to a beloved holiday destination, healing and relaxing together away from commotion and chaos - finding peace in quiet conversation and taking flights or drives as an opportunity to reflect, to free oneself and to simply focus on the journey itself

walking in nature, holding hands and listening to birdsong and shrill cries of cicadas - valuing the process of grounding oneself and listening to inner thoughts, beliefs and feelings

road trips and long walks, exploring new sights and making every place a shared new memory and a precious moment; moving beyond a set “base” when it comes to home, and treating the world like your home to find the place that you both truly belong to

remembering even the smallest events and details from years ago and holding them as invaluable, celebrating anniversaries by revisiting representations of said memories

quoting your favourite lines from films or video games, re-enacting scenes together and crafting impromptu performances in the living room before collapsing in adorable giggles

finding the world in one another’s eyes, catching each other off guard in the best way with sweet comments and with absent-minded touches of the hand, reassurance that even when your mind is elsewhere, you have an anchor, you have a person who you are racing… not against, but with

yeosang

perseverance - in times where you face trouble, a hurdle, a tumble downwards, you reach out to help the other to stand up again, and take pride in having gone through so much and now having that special someone with whom nothing is as scary

surrounding yourselves with kindness and positive energy - having a home that is safe, secure and reflects both of you perfectly; gradually and subtly learning about each other’s hidden parts, adoring them all the same

learning to accept help, and leaning on one another when difficulties arise; openly communicating and being able to voice concerns and questions - feeling comfortable to do so

playful banter and witticisms, knowing when to humble one another but also when to lift one another up; being able to non-verbally communicate when in larger groups

appreciating one another’s efforts and valuing improvements, hard work, acts of service that have been done discreetly

walking huddled under a large umbrella to your favourite cafe, ordering ice cream and drifting to the seats that have become yours and his; speaking quietly, recollecting the happenings of the day, calmly making puzzle pieces connect into a bigger picture

finding comfort in routine; one that starts as a schedule and slowly becomes automatic; you two moving in one space like in a fluid dance, clockwork from one task to another

playing not to win but for the sake of spending time together - becoming an unbeatable duo in matches and subconsciously knowing each other’s style and approach when it comes to both communication and video games

san

reading excerpts from books and poetry aloud to one another in the late evening, bundled up together in a warm throw blanket

learning your favourite songs, humming or singing them to you as you slow dance in the kitchen - monologues and confessions said through music and little gestures of affection, though in a private space, the words spill and you are wrapped in reassurance

hand on the small of your back, a subtle reminder of how even in the busiest spaces, in places where you feel like you are fading away, there is always someone beside you, ready to support you and someone who cares

recounting stories from childhood, talking about home together and building a new one, first through conversation, then in reality; seeing the picture of you and him as clear as day

headpats, nuzzling, ruffling of the hair, sleepy embraces in the early morning that transition into a hand on the thigh, a soft brush of the upper arm, a move of a strand of hair from your face, a stolen kiss, or simply sitting so close that you almost become one

learning to set up healthy boundaries, barriers and principles, and respecting each other’s - having unspoken unbreakable rules that lead to healthy communication and mutual support, and supporting one another in finding limits externally and enforcing them for the wellbeing of oneself

living passionately, and taking each day into the heart to experience it fully; taking the time to evaluate all of its elements and taking what serves you best while still appreciating things that might not be as valuable

remembering your roots and loving your origins, being proud of your individuality and of what an who you represent; finding or strengthening the connections with who you are and who you want to be, separately and together

mingi

waiting to watch a movie or a show together - watching it twice because you were analysing every moment and chatted away, intrigued by one another’s minds

dispelling each other’s concerns and worries when it comes to perception, communication and achievement - being able to whittle down to exact doubts and unravelling them until a smile forms on your beloved’s face

checking in on each other’s emotional capacity and learning to ask for signs when the other might overflow - encouraging minimising the bottling up of emotions and dedicating time to talk things through

spending time getting lost in history and in innovation, expanding intellectual horizons by visiting events, exhibitions, talks to see all that the creatives and innovators of the world are conjuring - pondering all you have witnessed together

giving each other courage, hyping each other up and loving every colour - inventing cheers and chants, secret handshakes, signals, making up songs about random things on the spot and their recital becoming a tradition

admiring differences, and studying them with a beautiful curiosity; not fearing to ask the ‘why’, the ‘how’ continuously because there is no limit to wonder

comfort in introspection and self-discovery; encouraging exploration of the self and of own interests, but always reconnecting, forming a network of possibility between thought, learnings, ideas

going with the flow, and bringing the flow to each other - sometimes, transition into a new landscape or environment is easy, other times, you need a helping hand; both of you are ready to lead the other into a new world and will wait for as long as necessary

wooyoung

family, the feeling of belonging - “you are my person and I will fight for you”; strong circle of trusted people, a network that you can rely on and of course, the strong bond between you

even when alone, you are not lonely; the feeling that even when you have to be apart for some time, you are still there with and for one another, one call away; even though you would be playful, you are always emotionally available, and past the teasing is boundless love

adventures to places far away, still home because it is the two of you travelling; exploring with an open mind and daring one another to step outside of comfort zones, to take the leap, to bloom

candlelit dinners after a cooking turned jam session - dancing with spatulas in hand, yelling out the lyrics to any and all songs, learning them on the fly; long stares and cheeky jokes exchanged across the table, dressing up for no reason except to impress each other

love that expands past the two of you - your friend groups, your families, pets… the social landscape is boundless and you trust each other to navigate it smoothly - permanent plus one, double trouble, partners in crime, the best team

gentle scolding to take care of yourselves, prioritising each other’s health and wellbeing, keeping each other out of harm’s way while retaining a fiery spirit

healing from past insecurities through words and actions - nurturing beauty that is both internal and external, and giving each other hope in every tomorrow through warm smiles and even warmer hugs

not being afraid to stand up for one another, for what you believe in, for the greater good - lover and fighter do go hand in hand after all, and lead to a respectful relationship where adventure and a blazing passion are still very much alive

jongho

evenings spent at a noraebang you now frequent, singing songs that have grown to describe your relationship, the months, years you have known one another; serenades you dedicate, classics you belt in a duet

retaining the air of pleasant mystery until both of you break into a grin and melt into a soft laughter; knowing glint in the eyes, you do not need to say much, for your actions speak volumes

being considerate, making space and in this way, turning home into an ideal, stable equilibrium where company feels natural, essential, even if all you do during the day is sit in different rooms - there is bliss in knowing that in that other room is the one you love and the one who loves you

walks in the park, stopping to sit on a bench in a particularly scenic spot overlooking a pond, under the trees - reminding each other to pause and to look around you, enjoying the moment and appreciating how much has changed, and for the better

beauty and love in order - from how you like your coffee, to what you prefer to wear and how, to how you carry yourself and to what side of your loved one you prefer to walk, these small points all make you who you are and are details that make your story

praising and joining in a little bit of mischief - you know you have to act a certain way, but sometimes, nothing feels better than letting go and playing a cute prank or a game

noticing the tiniest changes in one another, and either raising them as a question, or complimenting them depending on what it is - well-attuned, responsive, kind, attentive

sometimes, you might support different teams, or do so simply for harmless fun, but at the end of the day you find the same goals to score, the same game to place, and will always back each other up and assist towards great successes

8️⃣ taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @ssaboala @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @archivesummer @little-angel-k @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy

607 notes · View notes

callsign-mayhem · 13 days

Text

heartbreak feels so good (part 1)

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader Word count: 8081 CW: Shitty boyfriends, angst, fluff, slow burn.

Your boyfriend's callsign is Viper, which is fitting. Bradley doesn't know how much longer he can watch this man destroy you, but luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.

Use of Y/N, but no description of reader. THIS IS A MULTI-PART FIC.

After another day of having your feelings totally ignored by your boyfriend, you were looking forward to some alone time. Elijah was so hot and cold that you felt as though you were in a constant state of fight or flight, just waiting for him to either make your day or ruin it completely. Most of the time, it was the latter, and although good days with him were few and far between, they were enough to make you stay. See, you didn’t half-ass anything—least of all relationships—so when you were in something, you were in it. You told Elijah that much after your first date. You’d been sitting in the front of his beemer eating ice cream, having the first of many deep talks. Between sweet, sticky kisses, you’d told him that you were dating to marry. He told you he was, too.

He said, ‘I’m yours if you’ll have me, Y/N.’ And that was that.

And it was almost a year ago. You’d survived a somewhat tumultuous winter with him, desperately trying to cling on to the version of him he’d been during the summer. As time went on, he stopped putting his mask on, secure enough in your relationship that he no longer felt the need to pretend to be caring and considerate. The days were starting to get longer, and the weather was warming up again, but Elijah was so far from the man he was at the start that you might as well have been in a relationship with a different person. Every morning, you woke up with no idea what personality to expect that day, whether or not he was going to take all his personal drama out on you, even though you only ever loved and supported him.

Today had been one of those days, and as you finished up with the F-18 engine currently in pieces in front of you, you silently prayed that he wouldn’t text you asking to come over. He was also a naval aviator, but you were working on different parts of the base today. Thank God. Elijah’s callsign was Viper, fitting since vipers prey on small animals by envenomating them and watching them die slowly.

Coyote appeared behind you, helmet tucked underneath his arm.

‘Hey, we’re all heading to The Hard Deck for beers,’ he told you. ‘You comin’?’ You grabbed a rag and made an attempt to wipe some of the oil off. ‘I don’t know,’ you sighed. ‘I want to, but then I’ll have to bring Elijah, and I don’t really wanna see him tonight.’ ‘Why do you have to bring him?’ Coyote frowned. ‘He’s a lousy drunk and never lets you have any fun.’ ‘If he finds out I went out with all you guys, he’ll think I’m up to something.’ ‘Like gettin’ with me?’ He joked, wiggling his eyebrows. ‘Probably,’ you laughed. ‘You or one of the others. Or maybe he’ll accuse me of getting with all of you if he’s in a particularly bad mood.’ ‘Listen, if you wanna come, you’re welcome. We’ll just make sure nobody posts about it, and we’ll get you a fake moustache or somethin’.’

It broke your heart to think about all your closest friends having a fun night without you. Over the past year, you’d lost count of the amount of experiences you’d missed out on because you didn’t want to make Elijah upset or angry with you. The worst part was it was a double standard. He went out without you all the time, didn’t tell you where he’d gone or who he was with, and expected you to be okay with it. If you weren’t, you could kiss your peace goodbye; he’d spend the next week making your life a living hell, ignoring you entirely until you apologised to him for being hurt by his actions.

‘You know what Javy? Count me in.’ He grinned. ‘Thatta girl.’

It was hard to regret coming out when you felt this good. It had been months since you’d gone on a night out without Elijah, which was to say it had been months since you last enjoyed yourself. As you sipped your second sex on the beach, you mused that some kind of higher power must have been looking out for you because you’d yet to receive a single text from your boyfriend. Most of the time, when you spent the night apart, he’d call you incessantly. It was annoying, sometimes bordering on obsessive, and you didn’t need him to tell you he was checking on you, or rather, checking that you were alone in your apartment. That much was obvious.

Dating an insecure man was not for the weak.

You were sat at one of the high tables next to the window watching Jake, Mickey, Javy, and Reuben play pool. Nat was opposite nursing a beer, glowing in the golden light of the evening. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, smiling at the notification.

‘Rooster’s on his way,’ she told you. ‘He wasn’t gonna come out tonight, but I told him he didn’t have a choice. It’s not every day Y/N Y/L/N leaves the comfort of her apartment.’ You scoffed. ‘That’s not exactly how I’d put it.’ ‘No?’ Nat raised a brow.

You hadn’t drunk in months, and despite only being on your second drink, the booze had loosened your lips significantly.

‘No. It’s not that I’d rather stay home, it’s that staying home makes my life easier because then I don’t have Elijah breathing down my fucking neck.’

Little did you know, Javy had told everyone about your conversation earlier. Not because he was a gossip but because he was worried about you. It was rare for you to open up to the squad about your relationship, but it wasn’t hard to guess what happened behind closed doors. They all worked with Viper, for one, and they were familiar with his temperament. Not only that, but you dropped off the face of the Earth a few months after you started dating him, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

‘I don’t know why you’re still with him, Y/N. He’s an ass.’ ‘I know,’ you sighed, frowning into your drink. ‘It’s just not as straightforward as just leaving. I still love him. If I can make this work, I don’t have to start all over again with someone else.’ Nat nodded in understanding. ‘I get wanting to make it work, but at what cost? You don’t see your friends, and he uses you as an emotional punching bag. You can’t even come to the beach with us without him checking on you every five minutes,’ she reached over the table and took your hand. ‘He’s killing you.’

This was the first time someone had spoken their mind to you about the situation. While you already knew all of it, hearing it from one of your best friends hit home. Vodka made you emotional, and if not for Bradley, you would have broken down there and then.

He walked up to the table and engulfed you in a hug, practically pulling you off your stool. You pressed your face into his shirt, inhaling the scent of clean cotton and sandalwood. Half expecting Elijah to spring out and catch you in the act, you reluctantly pulled away.

‘Hey, Bradley.’ ‘Hey yourself, stranger. Can’t believe you’re gracing us with your presence.’ ‘I know, it’s been a while.’ ‘A while? Try six months,’ he glanced at your almost empty glass and Nat’s empty bottle of Heineken. ‘Can I buy you lovely ladies a drink?’ ‘Do you even have to ask?’ Nat retorted. ‘What’re you drinking, darlin’?’ He asked you. You smiled sheepishly. ‘Sex on the beach.’ ‘I can make that happen.’ He smirked.

Luckily, you didn’t have to come up with a response to that remark because he turned around and headed to the bar. You locked eyes with Nat, and both of you burst out laughing.

Just like that, all the negativity you’d been feeling dissipated like rain against hot tarmac.

Bradley came back with the drinks, and the three of you took the opportunity to catch up while the others finished their pool game. You shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were to find out that you’d missed a lot. Bradley had started dating one of the medics, but the relationship had crashed and burned almost immediately. He hadn’t bothered trying to meet anyone else since. Nat, after watching all her friends have such bad experiences in the dating world, had decided she was better off alone.

‘Honestly, I don’t blame you.’ You told her. ‘You should dump Viper,’ she said with a devilish grin. ‘And we can have a hot girl summer.’ Bradley laughed. ‘Can’t say I ever imagined you saying that, Nix.’ ‘Isn’t that what it’s called now? We can’t be that out of touch, surely.’ ‘I don’t wanna think about how old I am.’ You said, picking up your phone to see if you’d missed any texts from Elijah. You hated to think what kind of argument missing one of his calls would start. Nat and Rooster shared a knowing look. ‘It rings, you know? Out loud.’

Being this transparent was embarrassing.

‘I think I’m going to confiscate this for now.’ Ignoring your protests, Bradley swiped your phone and tucked it into his pocket. ‘If he calls or texts, I’ll let you know.’

You were tipsy enough not to try and take your phone back but not tipsy enough to be unbothered by the idea of Elijah calling and you not picking up.

‘If he calls, I need it back straight away,’ you told him sternly. ‘If I don’t pick up, I’ll never hear the end of it.’

Bradley rolled his eyes, but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you. He hated Elijah the most of all your friends. Perhaps sensing some tension, Nat slid off her stool and grabbed your arm, practically yanking you off yours.

‘Let’s go pick a song,’ she suggested. ‘We can get more drinks on the way back.’

Since it had been so long since you last visited The Hard Deck, she let you choose. You picked Rebel Yell by Billy Idol, your mum’s favourite. Admittedly, you’d been missing your home town a lot more than usual lately, perhaps because you were in such a weird place mentally. Things must be worse than you thought if you were considering running home with your tail between your legs.

As the night went on, you got drunker and drunker. Bradley watched with a bemused grin as you dragged Bob off to the jukebox again, since he was the easiest person to coerce into doing things. How Bradley wished it was him you were clinging to. Not that he was jealous of Bob—because that would be like being jealous of a puppy—he just desperately wanted to be the object of your affection.

While you and Bob went to change the music, Bradley struck up a conversation with Natasha and Reuben, who erupted into laughter when you pulled Bob’s arm so hard he almost toppled over.

‘It’s nice to have Y/N out, huh?’ He observed. Nat looked at him like he was the biggest dickhead in the world. ‘Come on, Bradshaw. He might be an ass, but she’s got a boyfriend.’

Bradley sipped his beer, desperately trying to come up with a believable response. Reuben smirked knowingly, which only made Bradley more annoyed.

‘I don’t have a thing for Y/N.’ ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.’ ‘Come on, Payback. You too?’ Reuben shrugged. ‘Doesn’t take a genius to work it out. You look at her like she’s God’s gift.’

The reason Bradley looked at you like you were God’s gift is because you were, but nobody was supposed to know that.

‘Why do women stay with guys that treat them like shit?’ Bradley asked. ‘Depends on the woman,’ Natasha started. ‘But if you mean Y/N, it’s because she can’t do anything halfway. She told me earlier that it’s because she doesn’t want to start over with someone new, but I don’t think that’s it. She just loves so hard, and it takes a lot out of her. Why would she wanna start the process all over again if she already has someone?’ Bradley was incredulous. ‘Erm, I don’t know, maybe because he’s emotionally abusing her.’

You and Nat were close. In a way, she knew you better than you knew yourself, so she was the best person for Bradley to ask about things. Now, however, he was kind of regretting opening his mouth. Knowing why you were staying with a guy who treated you so badly didn’t make it easier to accept like Bradley thought it would; it only filled him with white-hot rage.

‘It’s not as easy as just leaving. She has to come to it on her own.’ ‘Yeah,’ Reuben chimed in. ‘You can’t convince Y/N of shit.’ Natasha scoffed. ‘Yup, and believe me, I’ve tried.’ ‘So what, we just sit around and watch him ruin her?’ ‘Y/N’s a smart cookie and one of the strongest people I know. She’ll come to her senses, and when she does, we’ll be here.’ ‘You know, I read somewhere once that you can’t save anyone. You can only hold their hand while they save themselves.’ Nat raised a brow. ‘Damn, Payback. That might be the wisest thing you’ve ever said.’ ‘Hey, why do you sound so surprised?’ ‘You really want me to answer that?’

Bradley had a lot to think about. Realistically, he knew there was nothing he could do. His only option was to let things unfold naturally and have faith that things would work out exactly the way they were supposed to. The only problem was, that sounded too much like ‘sit back and do nothing,’ which didn’t feel right either.

Bradley needed another drink.

In fact, he was just about to head to the bar when you came bounding over, dragging poor Bob behind you.

‘Roooooooooster.’ You cooed.

His heart just about melted when you started batting your eyelashes at him.

‘What’s up, Y/CS?’

Everyone else was watching the interaction expectantly, waiting to hear what you were going to say next.

‘You’re really pretty.’ Bradley laughed, hoping you were too drunk to notice the blush he could feel creeping across his cheeks. ‘Thank you. You’re really pretty, too.’ Nat, sensing the need to intervene, came around and gently grabbed your arm. ‘Hey, let’s get you a glass of water, huh?’ ‘But I need to tell Roo how pretty he looks.’

Bradley’s heart fluttered at your use of the pet name. He really didn’t want you to leave, but Nat was right. You needed some water and probably your bed.

‘You told him already, Y/N. And when you get back, you can tell him again.’

She started leading you away, and Bradley immediately missed your presence.

A very flushed-looking Bob took Nat’s empty stool. ‘That girl is somethin’ else.’ He murmured, pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘I don’t think you should let her drink anymore.’ ‘I’m not her keeper,’ Bradley responded. ‘Can’t stop her from doing anything.’ Bob shrugged. ‘Maybe so, but you’re all she talked about. You and the fact that there’s no Fall Out Boy in the jukebox. Pretty sure she called it a ‘fucking tragedy.’’ Bradley leaned forward. ‘What did she say about me?’ ‘You know,’ Bob waved a hand dismissively. ‘You’re pretty. Her boyfriend is gonna kill her if he finds out she’s here with you because he thinks you have a thing for her.’ Bradley was at a loss for words. Reuben, however, was grinning like a fool. ‘What was that about not having a thing for her? Even her boyfriend’s caught on, man.’ ‘How many times do I have to say I do not have a thing for-’

An annoyingly loud ringing sound interrupted Bradley’s sentence. It didn’t sound like his ringtone, but the noise was coming from his pocket. It took him too long to remember that he had your phone in his pocket, and that it was probably Viper calling. Sure enough, when he took out your phone, he was greeted by a sickeningly sweet photo of you and your boyfriend on the beach. You and Nat were still at the bar, and he knew he should just let it ring so you could call him back later.

But something had a hold of Bradley, and he answered the call and pressed the phone to his ear before he could really process what he was doing.

‘Y/N’s phone.’

A beat of silence, then some of the most colourful language Bradley had ever heard in his life.

‘Who the fuck is this, and why the fuck have you got my girlfriend’s phone?’ ‘Y/N can’t come to the phone right now. She’s at the bar with her friend, gettin’ another round of drinks, and I just know hearing your voice would ruin her night. It’s ruined mine, that’s for sure. If you want, I can take a message, and she’ll get back to you in the morning.’

Reuben was nearly on the floor, trying desperately not to laugh in case Viper heard him. Bob had paled significantly, like he’d seen a ghost—or worse.

‘That you, Bradshaw? I just knew something was going on-’

Bradley hung up. The severity of the situation was beginning to hit, and despite the sick satisfaction he’d felt when he picked up the phone, he was regretting his decision already.

‘Y/N is gonna kill you, Rooster.’ Bob told him.

Nat made the sensible decision to cut you off, but she said you could stay out with them until closing if you promised to keep drinking water and stop fucking around with the jukebox. That was how you ended up in the corner of a booth with Bradley next to you to stop you from escaping.

Not that you’d want to escape.

Mickey had joined, and the guys were playing cards while you and Nat talked. She was catching you up on her life, and it made a change to think about someone other than Elijah for once.

That’s when it hit you.

You hadn’t checked your phone in hours, and you dreaded to think how many texts and calls you’d missed.

‘Bradley, can I have my phone?’

He set his hand of cards down on the table and reached into his pocket. When you reached out to take it, he pulled away.

‘Before I give this to you, I need to tell you something.’

A wave of nausea hit you.

‘What? What’s going on?’ ‘Viper called about an hour ago. You were at the bar, and I didn’t know what to do, so I answered it.’ Reuben leaned forward in his seat. ‘Oh, this is about to be good.’

You thought you knew what panic felt like, but up until this very moment, you had no idea. Bradley was lucky you didn’t throw up in his lap from the nerves.

‘What?’ ‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking-’

You snatched your phone from him, ignoring the kicked-puppy expression he was sporting. A slew of angry text messages that were borderline abusive greeted you. You skimmed them quickly, not wanting to read too many in case you started crying in front of the entire squad.

What started out as the best night you’d had in a while quickly turned into the worst. Your boyfriend's hateful messages reminded you why you never went out and why this was the biggest mistake you could have made.

The worst part was you saw it coming.

‘Move,’ you said, grabbing your bag. ‘Bradley, let me out now.’ ‘You can’t drive like this, Y/N. Let one of us take you home.’

Bradley sounded destroyed. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

‘Move.’

He nudged Bob, who stood up so Bradley could climb out of the booth. You were close behind him, and when your feet touched the floor, you nearly keeled over. Bradley reached out to steady you, but you shook him off.

‘Y/N. You can’t leave like this. How are you gonna get home?’

Ignoring his pleas, you made a beeline for the exit. Nat shoved Reuben into Mickey, trying to hurry them out of the booth so she could follow you, but you were surprisingly fast for a drunk person. Bradley was right about one thing: there was no way you could drive in this state. You ducked around the corner so Nat couldn’t see you and sank to the floor. Hot tears prickled behind your eyes as you did the one thing you didn’t want to do, but the only thing you could do.

You called Elijah.

He didn’t answer the first, second, third, or fourth time.

Half an hour passed, and you didn’t move. At one point, you heard Bradley, Nat, and Reuben talking around the corner, coming up with a plan for where to look for you. They knew you were on foot because your car was still in the lot, and since you’d disappeared so quickly, you couldn’t have gotten far. If the situation weren’t so tragic, it would’ve been funny that you were hiding ten paces away, and none of them could find you.

It was getting very late. People were getting in their cars and leaving or jumping into Ubers. Soon, your Jeep would be the only car left. You couldn’t face the daggers, and you couldn’t drive home, so you picked yourself up and took a slow walk down the beach to where the water met the sand.

What a beautiful night to have your heart broken.

There was no way Elijah would ever forgive you for this, no way you’d ever be able to

convince him that nothing had happened between you and Bradley. The sane part of you knew that it was crazy to feel guilty for simply enjoying a night out with your friends, but the sane part of you rarely won these days. The part of you that loved Elijah was always loudest and knew this could never have gone any other way.

You were just about to resign yourself to calling a cab when you heard someone yelling your name from the top of the beach.

You either had the best or worst luck in the world because it was Bradley.

He made short work of the distance, giving you no time to come up with something to say. He looked otherworldly in the pale moonlight. His hair was slightly mused, and the same insane part of you that loved what it loved was whispering at you to run your fingers through it.

‘We’ve been looking all over for you, Y/N.’ He sounded very concerned as he pulled out his phone and texted the others to let them know you were safe. ‘I’m sorry, I just needed to be alone.’

You hadn’t even realised you were shivering until Bradley draped his Levi jacket over your shoulders.

‘You needed to be alone, or you needed to call Viper back?’ The tears threatened to make another appearance. ‘It’s none of your business.’ ‘What makes you think it’s not my business? I care about you and don’t want to keep watching you get hurt.’ ‘Then stop watching!’

Bradley recoiled, and you immediately felt awful. How Elijah spoke to you like that day in and day out without feeling guilty was a mystery to you.

‘I’m sorry, Bradley,’ you sighed, pulling his jacket tighter around you. ‘I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just very drunk and very emotional right now.’

He softened immediately and seemed torn about whether he should let you stand there freezing or pull you close. You hoped he wouldn’t try to pull you close because you didn’t think you’d have the guts to tell him no. Good feelings had been so incredibly hard to come by as of late.

‘Why are you still with him, Y/N?’ Bradley asked almost pleadingly.

Wow. He didn’t waste any time getting right to the point.

‘That’s a loaded question.’ ‘I need you to explain it to me because it’s killing me.’

You thought about it for a moment, and Bradley waited with bated breath to hear what you had to say.

In the end, it was this: ‘I guess we accept the love we think we deserve.’

Until you said it out loud, this phrase held little meaning to you. Now that it was out in the open, it was very heavy. In the last few months you’d tried coming up with a decent explanation as to why you were staying with Elijah, and you fell short every time. Turns out all you needed to do was get drunk and have an honest conversation to figure it out.

Coming to the realisation that what you’d just said was true felt like being in freefall. Everything in your life was changing shape to fit around this ugly truth. The good things in your heart shied away in the face of this monstrous fact.

You didn’t think you deserved a healthy love.

Somehow, Bradley was more hurt by this than when you’d snapped at him earlier. He was staring at the ground, unable to meet your eye like you’d just told him he wasn’t worthy of love.

‘You don’t think you deserve to be happy?’

Hearing him say it was somehow even worse.

‘Apparently not.’

You were both quiet for a moment, and then, for whatever reason, you laughed.

‘This is news to me too.’

The waves crashed loudly, water lapping at your feet as the tide came in. You couldn’t stand out here having epiphanies all night.

‘Listen, Rooster, I need to go home. I’m sorry for snapping.’ ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said quietly. ‘But we should talk tomorrow when you’re sober. Maybe we could get coffee.’ You shook your head. ‘After tonight, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. I’ll probably be spending tomorrow trying to salvage what’s left of my relationship.’ ‘You’re not serious.’ ‘I am.’

He opened his mouth to protest but then appeared to change his mind. You watched as all the fight he had left in him dissolved. There was nothing left for him to say, and he knew it.

The irritating birds that constantly chirped right outside your bedroom window woke you up. It was too damn early, and your head felt as though it was splitting open. When you sat up, you were hit by a wave of nausea so strong that you had no other choice but to sprint to the bathroom, smashing into the corner of your chest of drawers on the way.

Which was to say, it was a bad morning.

After you had puked up the entire contents of your stomach, you jumped straight in the shower, brushed your teeth, and did your skincare. At least if Elijah showed up at your front door, you wouldn’t look like you got super drunk last night, even though he’d probably already guessed.

When you checked your phone, there were still no notifications from him, and when you called, there was no answer. This wasn’t unlike him, but it had been almost twelve hours since Bradley picked up your phone, and you would have thought he’d have something to say by now.

To distract yourself from your impending doom, you threw open all the windows in your apartment, made your bed, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher—all the usual morning tasks. It seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful Saturday, but you doubted you’d enjoy any of your hobbies when you were this anxious and hungover.

With nothing else left to do, you set about making some breakfast.

Just as you put your bagel in the toaster, somebody knocked on the door.

Your stomach twisted itself into an impossibly tight knot. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move until whoever it was knocked a second time.

You looked through the peephole, expecting to see Elijah standing there with his dark eyebrows knitted together in frustration. It was the only scenario that had crossed your mind, so when you saw Bradley standing there, you were very surprised.

You took a deep breath and opened the door, greeted by the warm scent of sandalwood once again.

‘Bradley?’

He was holding two iced lattes, which you were betting were vanilla—your favourite. Elijah hadn’t done that for you since the first week of your relationship.

‘Hey, Y/N. Thought you could use this.’

He wasn’t wrong. You ushered him inside, and he headed to the kitchen, where he

perched himself on one of the stools at your kitchen island. This morning, he was sporting one of his more toned-down Hawaiian shirts and dark jeans. His eyelids drooped, and you wondered if he’d slept at all.

‘I was just about to make bagels. Want one?’ ‘Sure, thank you.’

You busied yourself, putting bacon and eggs into a pan while he sipped his coffee, eyeing

you with the curiosity of someone who had come over to check you were all in one piece. Once he was satisfied that you were, he relaxed slightly.

‘Thank you for bringing me home last night. I really appreciate it.’ You told him earnestly. ‘You don’t need to thank me. You’d have done the same thing.’ ‘True, but still. And I’m sorry for snapping at you.’

Last night was gradually coming back to you in flashes, like a supercut. Each time you remembered a new detail, you cringed internally.

‘You also don’t need to apologise. Has he called you?’

While the eggs and bacon were cooking, you toasted another bagel for Bradley and buttered yours. Even though you’d known him for years and been quite close until you got into a relationship, you were struggling to admit that you were pretty much being ghosted. It was already hard to walk around on base knowing that everybody was aware of how Elijah treated you. When you didn’t respond, Bradley took that as a no.

‘Well, that’s his problem,’ he spat. ‘You did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe if he were less of a control freak, you would have felt like you could tell him you were out with us rather than hiding it, and then he wouldn’t have found out the way he did.’

The toaster popped, and you jumped. It felt like somebody had run a cheese grater over your nerves. Bradley ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, clearly trying to reign in his anger.

‘I should apologise too,’ he continued. ‘I shouldn’t have answered your phone. It was a dick move, and I regretted it the instant I did it.’

You buttered the second bagel, put one egg on each of the bottom halves, and stacked two pieces of bacon on top before adding the top part. You didn’t say a word the entire time, and Bradley was starting to get antsy.

‘Y/N. Please talk to me.’ ‘I don’t know what to say, Roo. I’m struggling even to think straight right now. He knows it drives me fucking crazy when he’s having a go at me and doesn’t respond. I don’t understand why he does it, knowing how it makes me feel.’ Bradley sighed. ‘Because he doesn’t give a shit how you feel. He doesn’t give a shit about anything other than himself and how he feels.’

This wasn’t news to you, but again, it was more impactful to hear someone else say it out loud. Really, how long could you keep this up? Whether you thought you deserved it or not, you were starting to wonder if you might be better off alone than with someone who made living feel like walking next to a cliff with your eyes closed.

You pushed Bradley’s plate across the counter and picked up your bagel. Eating felt impossible, but getting through the day with this headache would be excruciating if you didn’t at least try.

‘Come and sit down,’ Bradley said. ‘It’s not good to eat standing up.’ Despite everything, you managed to laugh. And this time, it was a real laugh. ‘Why?’ A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘I don’t know. My mum used to say it all the time.’

You did as you were told, and you walked around the island, taking the seat next to him. The two of you ate in companionable silence, periodically taking sips of your coffees. This was how easy it should have been with Elijah.

When you were both finished, Bradley put your plates, pan, and utensils into the dishwasher. You were too tired to tell him to stop.

‘Thanks for breakfast.’ You smiled. ‘Thanks for being you.’

Bradley’s smile mirrored your own. Unsaid words hung in the air, but you didn’t know what to say. His leaving didn’t feel right, but if he stayed and Elijah made an appearance, he’d most definitely break up with you.

But wasn’t this radio silence all the confirmation you needed that things were pretty much over, anyway? You were starting to wonder if this weekend had all happened exactly the way it was supposed to. Your eyes were indeed open, that was for sure. Of course, you’d known that the relationship wasn’t healthy, but this weekend had really driven the point home.

‘Do you wanna go for a walk along the beach?’ You asked, hopefully. ‘We could grab some ice cream at that little place next to the arcade.’

Bradley didn’t just look happy. He also looked relieved that you weren’t asking him to leave.

‘I’d love to.’

It was a beautiful Spring day, perfect walking weather. Honestly, it was the last thing Bradley expected you to suggest, so he jumped on the idea before you could change your mind and send him home.

Because he really didn’t want to go home.

He’d sensed that you didn’t want to talk about Viper, and you’d yet to bring up your conversation on the beach last night. Bradley was beginning to doubt that you even remembered everything you said—all that nonsense about not deserving a healthy love. Bradley didn’t take you as a liar, which meant you believed that you weren’t deserving of happiness. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt quite so sad and also angry at the same time. So many emotions were warring for the top spot in his heart, and as a result, his brain was incredibly foggy.

A walk along the beach with you was perhaps the only cure.

‘Did you hear about Hangman?’ Bradley assumed you hadn’t. ‘No?’ ‘He’s getting deployed. He’s leaving next month.’ ‘How long is he going for?’ ‘Six months.’ You whistled lowly. ‘Damn.’ ‘I know. I think he’s looking forward to it, though. I sure am.’ ‘You know, I don’t think you hate him half as much as you say.’ Bradley chuckled. ‘Maybe not, but being nice to him wouldn’t feel right. Even after everything that happened on the mission.’

The two of you walked down the beach, chit-chatting about anything that came to mind. You were about halfway to the ice cream place when your phone pinged. Bradley guessed it would be Viper, but he never could have guessed what the message said.

It was a photo of you and Bradley walking down the beach, taken from behind. The picture had been forwarded to you from someone else.

E<3: always knew you were a slut.

You inhaled sharply, obviously hurt by the words on the screen. Not two seconds later, he sent another text.

E<3: PS: we’re fucking over.

The two of you had stopped walking. Bradley watched over your shoulder as you furiously typed a reply and deleted it again. You turned to face him, and his heart just about broke when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t need to say a word. He pulled you close to him, wrapping you tightly in his arms. You stayed that way for a while, sobbing into his Hawaiian shirt as he rubbed your back soothingly. When you eventually pulled away, the first thing you did was apologise.

‘There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, sweet girl. He’s the one who should be sorry.’ You sniffled. ‘I don’t know what to reply.’ ‘Leave it for now,’ he said. ‘We can go get ice cream, take a slow walk back to yours. Then I’ll help you think of something.’ ‘I don’t know if I feel like ice cream anymore.’ ‘Well, that’s too bad because I do. Ice cream is the best remedy for heartbreak.’ ‘Did your mum tell you that too?’ ‘She sure did.’

It turns out Bradley was right about ice cream being the best remedy for heartbreak. The two of you sat on the wall, watching the waves while he munched on a mint chocolate chip cone and you butterscotch. It was hard to tell whether it was the best ice cream you’d ever had or if it was because you were with Bradley. If you remembered correctly, you’d had ice cream from this same place with Elijah before, and it hadn’t been this nice.

Thinking back on your memories with him only made you want to cry, so you did your best to shove them to the back of your mind. Despite the fact that he was actually a very shitty person, he’d been a dream at the beginning, and that didn’t just go away. The happy moments didn’t just suddenly turn to ash, as much as you wished they would.

‘What are your plans for the rest of the night?’ Bradley asked around his ice cream cone. ‘I don’t know, Roo. I’m kinda working on a minute-to-minute basis right now.’ Bradley nodded. ‘Okay, well, what would you say to junk food run and a movie night?’ ‘With you? ‘If you want to. I just don’t think it’s good for you to be alone.’ ‘I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me.’ ‘Is that what you think this is?’ ‘No, but I don’t want to be a burden. Or a charity case.’ ‘Y/N, you’re none of those things. I always want to spend time with you. Just so happens I have a good excuse today.’ You frowned into your ice cream. ‘Okay. As long as you’re sure.’

The two of you finished your ice cream and took a slow walk back to your apartment. When you got in, the first thing you noticed was a framed photograph of you and your now ex-boyfriend on the side table in the hallway. When your bottom lip started trembling, Bradley picked up the photo, put it face down, and then proceeded to run around your apartment and take down any others. It didn’t feel like the same place you’d left a few hours ago. It was haunted by memories that would never look right in the light of day. Even the happiest ones from the start were tainted with the ugliness of his cruel words and actions.

‘This place is so depressing.’ You grumbled.

Bradley stood in front of you with a stack of photos and one of Elijah’s t-shirts.

‘It’s not. It’s your home, Y/N. We just have to pack away his stuff and put it all in a box.’ ‘An ex-boyfriend box.’ Bradley smiled sadly. ‘Yeah, exactly. It might be over, and he might be a dick, but it was still a big part of your life, and it’s important to keep the memories safe in case you wanna look back on them someday.’ ‘Or in case I wanna burn them.’ ‘That too.’ Bradley chuckled

So you helped him gather all the mementoes from your relationship and put them in an old Dr Martens box. It all looked pretty pathetic, packed away in a shoebox.

‘I found one of his hoodies and a few other things.’ You called from your bedroom. ‘Can you grab me a bin bag from the top of the fridge?’

You heard shuffling, and then Bradley was standing in the doorway holding out the bag you requested.

‘Damn, he doesn’t even get one of the nice Trader Joe's bags?’ ‘No,’ you giggled. ‘He gets a trash bag because his stuff is trash, and he’s trash.’

You weren’t really at the stage where you believed that just yet, but saying it was really satisfying, and it felt good to laugh. Fake it till you make it or whatever.

‘Want me to give it to him tomorrow?’ ‘Thanks, but I should really be the one to do it. I haven’t even texted him back.’ You thought about it for a moment and then continued. ‘Would it be cheeky of me to ask if you’ll come with me? Maybe Nat, too? I could use some moral support, and he’s less likely to make a scene if the two of you are there.’ ‘Of course I’ll be there. I won’t say anything unless you need me to or unless he starts. I can’t make that same promise for Nix, though.’ ‘I haven’t even told Nat yet,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t think I wanna talk about it right this second.’ ‘I’ll text her. Don’t worry about it.’

From your spot on the floor, you looked up at Bradley. The evening sunlight was streaming in through the windows, casting an ethereal glow around him.

‘You should change your callsign to angel.’ A look of pleasant surprise flickered across his handsome features. ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re literally my angel, Roo. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’

Half an hour later, Bradley convinced you to go on a junk food run with him in the Bronco. He said tonight was a mandatory, post-breakup wallowing sesh because if you bottled up your feelings now, you’d explode later at a much more inconvenient time.

The two of you had been screaming along to all the classic breakup songs: All Too Well by Taylor Swift (yes, he knew all the words), Who Knew by Pink, What About Now by Daughtry… He’d driven the long way to the store because you got so into it.

Now, as you scanned the shelves in Target, you asked: ‘What is it about screaming sad songs that makes you feel better?’ ‘It’s cathartic,’ Bradley explained. ‘Helps you relieve the strong feelings.’ ‘You know a lot about heartbreak.’ ‘Well, I’ve had my fair share of sadness.’ You froze. ‘That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry.’ Bradley took the packed of Reeses Pieces from your hands so he could hold them. ‘Can you make me a promise?’ ‘What?’ You asked sceptically. ‘Promise you’re gonna stop apologising to me all the time. You have nothing to be sorry for.’ ‘Sorry.’ You smiled sheepishly. He shook his head. ‘That’s not what you’re supposed to say.’ ‘Okay, fine,’ you huffed. ‘I promise to stop apologising all the time.’ ‘Thank you,’ Bradley said, releasing your hands reluctantly. ‘Now, pick out five more things.’ ‘Five? There’s already five things in the basket.’ ‘Did I ask?’ ‘I’m gonna get fat.’ ‘Don’t be so ridiculous. Wallowing means junk food, and I don’t know if you’re looking at the same basket I am, but that’s not enough junk food.’ ‘Christ Almighty, okay.’

He helped you pick out five more things, and then you headed to check out.

‘What movies are good for wallowing?’ You asked. ‘Well, we have to start with a couple of sad ones and then finish with a happy one.’

The cashier told you your total, and Bradley tapped his card before you could even get yours out. You gave him a withering look.

‘I would’ve paid for that. You paid for the ice cream.’ ‘So?’ ‘So we should take it in turns.’

Obviously, he carried the bags as well, and as you walked back to the Bronco, he couldn’t help but wonder if Viper made you take it in turns. If you were his girl, you’d never have to tap your card.

‘What’s your favourite sad movie?’ He inquired. You opened the trunk for him so he could put the bags in. ‘Technically, it’s not a sad movie. But there’s this part in Inside Out…Wait, have you watched it before? I don’t wanna spoil it for you.’ ‘The part where Bing Bong gets forgotten?’ You gasped. ‘How did you know?’ ‘Because it gets me every single time.’

The way you looked at him in that moment, like he had hung the moon in the sky—God, it was too much.

‘We’ll start with Inside Out,’ he told you, opening the passenger door so you could climb in. ‘And then we’ll think of something else.’

Without giving much thought to what he was doing, Bradley found himself buckling your seatbelt for you. You were holding your breath, and it dawned on him how easy it would be to kiss you if he were that sort of guy.

And as much as he wanted to kiss you, he was not that sort of guy. He wasn’t about to take advantage of the fact that some asshole had just taken a sledgehammer to your very beautiful heart.

‘Can we watch Bridge To Terabithia?’ You whispered.

Bradley hadn’t moved, and you were so close that he could feel your warm breath on his cheek.

‘Are you trying to break my heart, Y/N?’ ‘Yes. I want you to feel my pain.’

He was grinning the whole way around the car to the driver’s side and still grinning when he got in the car. You already had his phone in your hand, searching for more sad songs so you could continue your car concert on the way back to your apartment. He drove the long way again so the two of you could finish your rendition of ‘I Don’t Love You’ by My Chemical Romance, which Bradley didn’t know the words to. He tried his best, though, because you seemed to love it, and he couldn’t deny you anything.

By the time you got home, the sun had almost entirely set. While he set the snacks out on the coffee table, you went around lighting candles and switching on fairy lights. He’d never seen your apartment in the dark, and it was incredibly cosy. Even though it was relatively warm, you dragged all your blankets and pillows from your bed and made a little nest on the sofa. You were so adorable, it was hard to believe that someone could treat you badly.

If you were his girl, every night would look like this—except you’d be a lot happier, and there would be no tears.

Halfway through Bridge To Terebitha, you fell asleep. Bradley had been trying to keep his distance despite wanting to wrap you up in his arms, yet somehow—in your sleep—you’d ended up with your legs in his lap. He’d frozen at first, but once he realised you were dead to the world, he allowed himself to rest his hands on your knees. Really, it was that or sit with his arms crossed, and that would be silly.

For the duration of the movie, his attention flickered between you and the TV. Every time he tried paying attention to what was happening, his eyes wandered back to your peaceful face. He marvelled at your astounding beauty, the delicate way your eyelashes rested against the tops of your rosy cheeks. Bradley had always admired you, and you’d been good friends for years, but what he felt in that moment was something else entirely. By the time the end credits started rolling, he knew without a doubt that he’d set whole cities ablaze to keep you warm. Feelings as rapidly growing as his should have been terrifying, but Bradley wasn’t scared. Falling in love with you seemed to be as easy as wading out into a calm ocean on a warm summer’s day.

He knew you’d yet to learn that falling in love and staying in love should always be this easy. He knew it was going to take some time to convince you that you deserved healthy love, that the right person would never run away from you and keep turning around to make sure you were chasing them.

But Bradley was a patient man, and he would wait as long as he had to.

End of part one.

346 notes · View notes

authorhjk1 · 24 days

Note

Since you're a fellow Fromis_9 nagyung enjoyer do you think you could do a nagyung short about her and her significant other trying to sneak around the other members to find “a quiet moment to themselves”

Nowhere to hide

(Lee Nagyung X Male Reader)

You hate lying. If there is something everyone knows about you, it's that you don't lie. Never.

"Oh no! I hope it doesn't hurt too much?"

Being the caring woman she is, Lee Saerom looks at you with love in her eyes as she hears what happened.

"Well, the doctor said he shouldn't be alone for a while, since he can't walk properly."

You are able to send an angry glare in your girlfriend's direction.

This isn't how it was supposed to go.

The members of Fromis_9 planned on going on a two week trip to Hawaii. The flight was booked for today and everyone was already at the airport. Except for your girlfriend.

Nagyung still has to do a shoot for her new drama in two days. Which would've meant that she would have flown to Hawaii later.

Because you have to work, there was no way you could come with them. That's why you and Nagyung decided to use the two days of this weekend to enjoy each other's company. Aka fuck like rabbits, until one of you passes out.

But to your dismay, your alone time didn't last very long. Nagyung was already on your lap, grinding her ass onto your cock. Your pants were around your ankles, your wet dick leaving small marks on her blue jeans. Your messy kiss made her moan into your mouth.

Suddenly both of you heard the electronic lock getting unlocked. Nagyung quickly got off your lap and you were able to cover yourself with one of the blankets on the couch.

The seven girls weren't that surprised to see you. You are Nagyung's boyfriend after all. They explained that the bad weather, which is now haunting the whole Korean peninsula, made air traffic come to a halt. Which means that they would stay home.

And being the thoughtless, horny maniac she is, Nagyung told everyone that you would have to stay with her over the weekend.

"He almost got hit by a car!"

She exclaimed, after the girls asked for the reason.

She wasn't lying at that point in time. You really almost got run over by a car on the way to their dorm. The woman ignored the red light and drove over your right foot. It hurt a little, but it wasn't bad.

But you definitely did not see a doctor. Because it already stopped hurting.

You know why Nagyung said it though. This girl lives for sex. She literally can't help it. It might come from the fact that she always lives with her members and just has barely any opportunity to satisfy her carnal desires like a normal person.

But it can't be the only reason. You noticed very early into your relationship with her, how addicted Nagyung is to sex. She could do it anytime anywhere. Whenever you were the one who initiated something, she was already dripping wet. It didn't matter where you were, or what you did. A restaurant date, a stroll through the park, hanging out with her members, shopping. Nagyung would always find a way to get what she wanted.

But it's not always as great as it sounds. Of course you like to have sex with her. But Nagyung is just different. The longer the time period without sex, the more aggressive she becomes. You wonder, if you just deny her long enough, would she just drop to the her knees in the middle of a shopping mall and suck you off? Maybe.

But the longer this sexless period becomes, the less she is interested in your pleasure as well. Nagyung does care for you. But if she has to wait for too long, your needs come second.

Which brings us back to the present. The eight girls stand in the living room of their dorm, Nagyung in front of you, next to Saerom.

You are aware that with only one movement of her hand, you would be sitting completely naked in front of all of them.

"Why don't you unpack your things again, girls? The weather forecast said it's gonna take a while, until we can fly again."

You sigh in relief, when the members follow Nagyung's advice.

As soon as the last one leaves the room, you throw the blanket off your lap. Nagyung drops to her knees again, just like she did a couple of minutes ago. You expect her to help you with putting your pants back on. Instead, Nagyung puts her elbows on your knees, taking your cock into her hand.

"Nagyung..."

You watch in disbelief as she wraps her lips around your tip.

"What the fuck are you doing? They will be back in a second."

Nagyung glares at you as you pull her off your cock.

"I'm so fucking horny. I need you right now."

"Later."

You hiss at her, closing the zipper of your pants.

A second later, Jiheon and Soyeon stand in the doorway.

One hour later~

You are still sitting on the couch. Some of the girls have joined, wanting to keep you company and distract you from the pain in your foot. When the movie you are now watching started, Saerom put the blanket back onto your lap, wanting to take care of you. Nagyung, who is sitting on your left, while Saerom, Jiwon and Hayoung are sitting on your right, uses this opportunity to invade your privacy.

You feel her hand on your thigh first, the blanket covering it. After barely a minute (she couldn't hold out longer) her hand starts to move towards your crotch. Moving your head, you glare at your girlfriend.

"Nakko..."

You whisper, trying to stop her.

But you know she won't. At the seame time, she uses her other hand to take one of yours. She slowly guides it towards her own core.

A moment later, you find yourself rubbing your girlfriend's pussy over her jeans, while her fingers wrap around your cock. You are afraid that one of the girls could just turn her head.

But nothing happens as Nagyung slowly makes you unzip her jeans. You know she isn't wearing underwear. She barely does. Especially not at home.

You dip a finger inside of her, making her sigh. Giving Nagyung another glare, you try to tell her to be quiet. If you can be silent, surely she can be too.

Her thumb draws circles on your tip, while she slowly pumps your cock. You finger her slowly, still afraid of getting caught.

"You guys wanna order some food?"

Your heart drops as you hear Jiheon's voice.

As the maknae walks in, you quickly pull your finger out of Nagyung's wet cavern. Your girlfriend still has her hand wrapped around your cock, but she at least stopped stroking you.

"Or we could just cook, you know?"

Saerom turns her head to look at Jiheon.

"Are you gonna cook?"

Jiwon looks at their leader.

"Well..."

You feel how Nagyung starts to stroke your cock again. Very very slowly. But it still makes you shift around a little.

"Don't worry Saerom. We can cook together. The movie is over anyways."

You were so focused on not getting caught for the last couple of minutes that you didn't even notice.

As you watch how the four of them head to the kitchen, Nagyung is already tugging at your hand. The two of you close the door of her room behind you a moment later.

"Oh god. You have me so fucking wet."

You can't answer Nagyung, because she gets on her tiptoes and puts her tongue into your mouth.

Not that you are complaining. Her teasing, no matter how dangerous it was, left you horny as well. You quickly sit down on the edge of her bed as Nagyung straddles you once more. She grinds her core against yours, getting off on how hard she made you.

"Give it to me. I need to get fucked."

She breathlessly whispers into your mouth, before the two of you break away for air.

A moment later, Nagyung is on her knees, your pants are around your ankles once more. Her blowjob is quick and effective. She knows how to push your buttons and she is making use of that.

"Fuck, Nakko."

A couple of moments later, Nagyung stands up and walks over to the bed on the other side of the room. She takes Jiheon's plushy. A small brown bear, holding a red heart.

"I need this, because you are going to fuck me hard now."

She pushes the chair away from the desk between the beds, bending over.

"Fuck me like you hate me."

With that, your girlfriend puts the bear into her mouth, biting down on it.

You are not surprised that it fits inside. And you are not surprised at her words. When she is this horny, Nagyung doesn't care about her own wellbeing. As long as she is getting fucked.

You quickly stand behind her, unbuttoning her jeans.

"Fuck you are tight."

You groan as you push inside of Nagyung. The jeans around her knees press her legs together, making her tighter than usual.

Saerom and Jiwon seem to argue in the kitchen. You can hear their distant voices as you start to take your girlfriend from behind. Just like she wanted. No build up. No going slowly. You are supposed to fuck her like you hate her.

Quickly, the sound of your hips snapping against her ass cheeks fill the otherwise silent room. Nagyung's moans are muffled by the stuffed bear in her mouth. Her knuckles turn white as she holds onto the edge of the desk. Both your hands hold onto her waist as you marvel how tight and fit Nagyung's body feels underneath your palms.

"Swpnk mwe."

You barely catch what she is trying to say. But knowing your girlfriend, you can guess what she is asking for.

Your tear one of your hands off her waist. It hits her left cheek a moment later. The sound is louder than you fucking her. Afraid that someone might have heard you, you wait a couple of thrusts, until you spank her again.

Nagyung's skin starts to turn red as you take out your anger at her on her cheeks. The way her pussy squeezes around you, tells you how well you are doing. She is barely able to keep it together. To hold the bear inside her mouth must be hard for her. She lost her hold on the edge of the desk a couple of thrusts ago. Now her nails scratch the wooden surface.

"Mm my gowd!"

You hear Nagyung scream into the stuffed bear. The sign that she is close to her first orgasm of the day. If it weren't for the members, you would've made her cum several times already.

"Unnie!"

You heart freezes. And so does the rest of your body as you hear Jiheon's voice behind the door.

Before you are even able to think, you leave Nagyung's slick pussy. She is still too groggy to actively help you as you pull her jeans back up. Jumping under the covers, you take Nagyung with you, making her sit on the edge of the bed. You would get teased if Jiheon would find the both if you lying in the same bed.

"Come in."

You manage to say, right as the maknae opens the door.

The way Nagyung squeezes your hand tells you that she is raging inside. And hornier than ever. In that split second, she would've preferred getting caught, instead of failing to reach her orgasm.

"We are done cooking. Oh, how cute you guys look."

Jiheon's eye smile makes it hard to get worked up about her teasing the two of you.

"In a minute."

You say, very aware of the fact that you are still naked from the waist down.

9 pm~

You groan in disbelief. Nakko can't be serious. Checking the text you just got from her, you shake your head.

"Eat me out💦"

"We are still eating!!!"

"Don't you want dessert"

There is no use in arguing with her.

Walking out of the bathroom, you try to come up with a way to not make this mission too obvious. Luckily, everyone is glued to Jisun's phone. Seems like she is showing the girls a funny video.

Reaching the table, you quickly drop to your knees, getting underneath it. Finding Nagyung's lower half, you put your hands on her ankles. You feel her flinch, when you touch her.

You make your way up her legs, trying to at least build a little bit of anticipation. Once you reach her waist, you start to undo Nagyung's jeans once again. She slightly raises her hips, enabling you to pull them down to her ankles.

Now that you have a good view of your girlfriend's snatch. You realize that she wasn't completely off. You really want dessert now. Its wet folds invite you to have taste. The scent of vanilla invades your nostrils, evidence of the fact that Nagyung is very conscious about how she smells.

Instead of just diving in, you start to pepper her inner thighs with small kisses. It makes her legs quiver in need. The heat coming from her core increases as you keep teasing Nagyung. You start to lick the skin of her thighs from the bottom to the top, just stopping an inch away from her pussy.

Once you've worked her up well enough, you place your tongue right below her snatch. You trace the outlines of her lips, getting your first taste of your girlfriend's pussy for tonight. Because of the strong vanilla scent, it almost seems like she tastes like vanilla herself.

You feel Nagyung's leg tensing, when you finally press your tongue flat against her pussy. Her toes start to curl into the carpet underneath the table as you start to properly eat her out. The other girls' voices seem to fade into the distance as Nagyung's thighs start to close around your head. You like the feeling of them wrapped around you as you indulge in your dessert.

Your hands are placed on her waist, your fingertips exploring her tight midriff. Nagyung either wears something very comfortable, or something very sexy at home. It depends on her mood and the time of the day. Either way, she always ensures that you have quick access to any area you need to stimulate for her to cum. Her midriff being one of them. Nagyung loves the way you adore her tight body and with that, her discipline and hard work. She gets wet when ever you praise her. It doesn't have to be in a sexual way though. A simple "Your food tastes great." can make her rub her thighs together in need of stimulation.

You feel like you are in your own world as you enjoy your girlfriend's pussy. It's something that happens quite a lot actually. Especially when the two if you don't have time or a quiet place, like today. In moments like this, her needs come before yours. You are happy going with that, knowing that she will reward you even more, when the time comes.

You hear Nagyung stutter a reply, when Jiheon asks her something. Your girlfriend is slowly starting to lose her composure. Wanting to punish her for taking such risks, you start to suck on her clit.

The switch up makes Nagyung's legs shake once more. You know that she is close already. Her juices are starting to make her pussy glisten in the dim light underneath the table.

Another flick of your tongue against her clit and Nagyung finally becomes undone. Her hand reaches down to take a handful of your hair into her fist, trying to find an outlet for her pleasure. Her thighs threaten to suffocate you as they close around you, shaking.

"Are you alright, Nakko?"

Your eyes widen in fear of getting caught. It would be really awkward if someone would look under the table right now.

"Y-Yes, unnie. T-The food is just very delicious."

Nagyung answers Hayoung with her shaky voice.

9:45 pm~

"Are you sure this isn't too much for your foot?"

You almost sigh in annoyance. Not because of Saerom, who asked the question, because of Nagyung who made you stick to her lie.

"Don't worry, noona. It's not bad. Plus, we will be sitting the whole time anyway."

The girls spontaneously decided to go watch a movie, after Jisun showed them a funny trailer on her phone.

Nagyung convinced the others that you and her should take your car, while her members walk to the cinema, since it's not far, but your foot still hurts. All were okay with it, except Saerom. Being the caring leader she is, she wanted to make sure that you are doing alright. You knew why Nagyung suggested for you two to get into the car alone. She is now sulking in backseat. You can't help but glance at her occasionally.

Nagyung couldn't have been more clear about her intentions, once she stepped out of her room, after she changed her outfit. Her black top exposed just enough skin to not be inappropriate at a movie theater. Her skirt is the highlight of her outfit. And you know, why she is wearing one.

She catches you glancing a couple of times. With flirty winks or suggestive looks at her core, she makes it clear to you what she is expecting to happen soon.

10: 30 pm~

The movie had already begun and you enjoy the bucket of popcorn that is sitting on your lap. You are sharing it with Nagyung, who is sitting on your left. The other members are sitting in order of age on your right, Jiheon being the one sitting right next to you.

After a jump scare early on, the maknae instinctively buried her head in your shoulder, trying not to look at the screen. After Nagyung regained her composure, she saw what was going on. You knew that this would only fuel her desire for your cock even more. The fact that Jiheon is physically intimate with you isn't a new thing. It's more like a brother/sister relationship. And yet, Nagyung's narrowed eyes, which glisten in the dark theater, tell you that you are in for a long and rough night.

Your girlfriend finally jumps into action halfway through the movie. While she has been holding your hand this entire time, Jiheon kept hugging your arm, whenever she was afraid of another jump scare.

When you glance at Nagyung again, she gives you a meaningful look. You can't hold her back as you see her getting off her seat. She gets on her knees in front of you. The dark theater and the rather dark movie make her almost invisible.

You feel her pushing the bucket of popcorn a little higher, making room for her head underneath. From now on, you feel more than you see what she is doing. Her hands unbuckle your belt in silence, before she unzips your pants. Pulling down your boxers a little bit, your cock falls victim to her tongue.

Nagyung starts to suck you off in the middle of the theater. The girls and you aren't even the only once present. You shift around in your seat as Nagyung takes you deeper into her warm mouth. She is trying to stay quiet, but you can feel her hum in blissful delight at the taste of your cock.

You almost scream internally as Jiheon reaches inside the bucket on top of Nagyung's head. She pushes it down a little as she searches for a handful of popcorn. The unexpected push forces Nagyung further down your cock. In that moment, you are thankful for the fact that Nagyung got used to your size early on in your relationship. Even when your cock is halfway down her throat, just like right now, she is able to fight her gag reflex like a pro. The beautiful and lewd sounds and slurps she usually does for show are replaced by silent anticipation and determination.

Once Jiheon's hand leaves the bucket, Nagyung gets back to properly giving you head. Her hands now rest on your thighs as she starts to fuck her face with your cock. Silently of course. But hot as fuck nonetheless. You can't tell how long you will be able to keep it together. Is she going to make you nut right here?

You feel Nagyung's tongue play with the underside of your shaft, whenever she lifts her head off your cock. Afterwards, you hit the back of her throat, when she buries her face in your lap again. There is pretty much no sound coming from her. You are actually amazed at how good she is. And at the same time, you realize that you won't be able to stay silent for much longer. If she keeps going, you're gonna cum in the middle of the theater.

You are glad when Nagyung finally lifts her head off your cock completely. But your heart sinks once more, when she announces in a slightly raspy voice:

"I'm cold, oppa. Can we cuddle some more?"

Before you can protest, Nagyung is already sitting on your lap. Or rather on your cock. The bucket has moved to her own lap now. Apart from Chaeyoung and Jiheon, who glance at your direction, no one really cares. Except for Jiheon, who has a teasing grin on her face.

You feel your girlfriend grinding against your hard, wet cock, fitting it between her perfect cheeks. Resigning to your inevitable fate, you reach under Nagyung's skirt. No panties. Who would've thought? You wrap one arm around her waist, while the other aligns your cock with her wet core. Nagyung seems to have gotten off just as much as you by giving you head in public.

When she smoothly glides down your shaft, you can't help but sink your teeth into her naked shoulder to muffle your moan. Nagyung gasps, the others probably think because she is feeling cold.

But you know better. With both hands on her round ass cheeks, you lift Nagyung off your cock, after you've recovered from that initial spike of pleasure. Only your tip remains inside your girlfriend, before you slowly impale her on your cock again. You don't care about not being able to watch the movie. The way Nagyung's head slightly tilts back in pleasure is entertaining enough. Her pussy is leaving your cock coated with her juices, whenever you push her upwards.

"Too bad we can't go faster."

You whisper into her left ear, making sure Jiheon is oblivious.

Nagyung is too busy with biting her lip to be able to respond. It gives you control of the situation and you plan on using it to your advantage.

"You are such a slut."

Nagyung gasps as her ass meets your lap. You use your left hand to cover her mouth, while your right is flatly pressed against her midriff.

"You can't even wait a couple of hours, until we are alone, huh?"

You can't see Nagyung's head, but you can feel her shaking it.

"Needy whore."

You degrade her further with your words. Nagyung's pussy seems to tighten in response. The amount of juices that slowly trickle out of her makes her body glide down your cock like it's part of a well oiled machine.

"You would do anything for my cock. Right?"

She nods her head. Knowing that that's the only right answer. Even when she has you inside of her, just like right now, she would still do anything to keep you in place.

"Would you even let me fuck one of the girls?"

Nagyung immediately shakes her head.

You wouldn't have asked that question, if it wasn't for her search history. She asked you to google something on her phone a couple of days ago, because yours was out of battery and she was busy. Like the thoughtless, horny maniac she is, Nagyung didn't use the private tab option, or erased her browser history, after her sinful alone time.

You don't have anything against her watching porn. You can barely keep up with her sex drive anyway. And it's not like she has to watch it out of frustration, because you don't perform. It's just a way for her to get rid off just a little bit of stress.

Anyway, you know what kind of stuff she is usually looking for. And recently a new category has been popping up in her browser history several times. You were surprised to see it at first, because Nagyung is usually quite possessive of you. Your girlfriend seems to like porn, where the wife/girlfriend watches her man fuck her friend. Or at least have a threesome with a female friend.

"You don't want to watch how one of the girls give me head?"

You never really thought about her members like this before. Of course the are pretty. But you are in a relationship with Nagyung. And while she shakes her head again, you feel how her body is trying to tell you yes.

You ponder for a moment, if you should go further. Maybe mention someone in particular?

In that moment, Nagyung leans back against you, since she has kept her back straight this entire time. Her head leans against your shoulder. You see the teeth marks you left in her own. Nagyung carefully bites your hand, signaling you that she wants to say something. You release her off your grip.

"A-All o-of t-them."

Her needy moan makes you see stars. Is she actually serious? Even now, you don't actually consider doing this. It's just dirty talk to you. It's only there for making sure that you drive Nagyung over the edge as soon as possible.

"All of them?"

You cover her mouth again, so Nagyung is only able to nod.

"I bet Jiheon is really tight."

That sentence is all she needed. With a strong bite into your hand, Nagyung orgasms in your lap. It hurts. Not just her teeth, but her pussy as well. Because Nagyung is trying to stay silent, her entire body is already tense. It makes the muscles of her vagina work overtime, almost strangling your cock.

Luckily, she is able to stay silent. But you are now unable to hide your desire to finish yourself. You can't do that here though.

"Restroom. One minute."

Once Nagyung recovers, you squeeze her ass cheek as hard as you can, making her flinch in pain. Punishment for being such a naughty girlfriend.

1 am~

You never made it to the restroom. Both of you were unaware of what was going on around you. You only realised that the movie was over, when the members started to get up, once by one. It was still dark though, so you were able to pull your pants back up, before anyone noticed.

Now you are lying on the couch, staring at the white ceiling of the dorm's living room. All the girls are asleep. But you know it won't take long until...

And there she is. You hear her door open. And a moment layer, Nagyung is underneath the blanket.

2 am~

You have switched positions several times by now. First, Nagyung gave you head again, wanting you to be as hard as possible. You focused on her pussy next, eating her out to completion and earning a cute thank you. Nagyung rode you afterwards. Her hands on your shoulder, while she enjoyed the feeling of bouncing on your cock again and again. Then, you decided to bend her ove the back rest of the couch. You fucked your girlfriend hard and fast, making her cum for a forth time today.

She is now sitting on your lap, slowly riding you. After having satisfied her throughout the day, it is now her turn to offer her body to you in any way you want it.

You lean back, a little tired since it's late already, and just watch Nagyung slowly bounce up and down. Wanting to show off, she lets her hands wander over her midriff. You follow them with your eyes. Nakko plays with her own breasts, her head falling back as she enjoys the slow love making.

Eventually, she looks back down at you, smiling.

"I love you so much, oppa."

She kisses your lips. Her vanilla scent is still there, but one hour of fucking makes her smell a little sweaty. Evidence of having a good time.

"I love you too, Nakko."

You put your arms around her, holding onto one of your wrists with your other hand. It presses your girlfriend's body against yours, trapping her in your embrace.

"Why do you always have to be such a naughty brat?"

"Nagyung is no brat. She is just a needy slut for oppa's cock."

You're surprised that Nagyung is doing aegyo now.

"Is that so? Then why did Nagyung make me lie?"

"I just told you."

She pouts at you.

"Nagyung can't live without oppa's dick inside of her."

"What do you want oppa to do now?"

You play her little game, knowing how much it turns her on. Although, there isn't really something you can do that wouldn't turn her on. Nakko really is yours.

"Nagyung wants oppa to blast her face with cum. He must've build up a really big load throughout the day."

You can't say she is lying. After all these shenanigans, you are ready to finally let go of it all.

When you don't respond, because you want to see what happens next, Nagyung pouts at you.

"If... If you don't want to, you could come on someone else's face. Jiheon for example. Just let Nagyung watch please?"

You can't believe how far she is going with this.

"Would you wake her up?"

You feel Nagyung tightening around you as her pussy is still gliding along your shaft.

"No, oppa. Just cum on her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

You wonder for a moment if that's actually true. The idea makes you want to cum right now.

"Alright. If you promis to be a good girl from now on, I will cum on your face."

Her smile seems to light up the room.

"Thank you, oppa. Nagyung will be a good girl for oppa."

You help her with getting off of you. Nagyung quickly gets on her knees, ready to blow you to completion. She greedily sucks on your cock, big eyes looking up at you. You are almost there already. Nagyung is only able to get a couple of sucks and licks in, before you take your cock out of her mouth.

Her eyes give you permission to completely ruin her face. Wit your cock in your hand, you quickly get off the couch. A second later, you start to cum all over Nagyung. She blissfully gasps in surprise, when she feels your hot semen coat her face. Her lips, cheeks, nose, eyes, none of it got spared. You aim a little lower, making your last shots hit her collarbone and tits.

"Oppa..."

Nagyung sighs lustfully, her lips still connected by a string of cum, even when she speaks.

"This was worth lying about. Am I not right?"

Her cheeky grin makes you take a fistful of her long, silky hair.

"Let's see what Jiheon says, when she wakes up and sees your face covered in my cum."

-------------

Hi everyone!

Once again, I have to apologize for not being able for keeping this short. I planned on spending 20 minutes on it at most. It took me way more in the end. Hope you guys will be able to enjoy it anyways.

Because of some issues with Tumblr, I lost the last scene completely and had to rewrite it, so I apologize if it feels a little bit rushed. After losing like 20 minutes of work, I just wanted to finish it and post it.

The aegyo stuff is probably something not all of you are into, but I wanted to try and write the duality Nagyung sometimes has.

Thank you for reading!

Stay healthy!

#ask #kpop #kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #male reader #fromis 9 smut #fromis 9 #nagyung #fromis 9 nagyung

389 notes · View notes

chlerc · 9 months

Text

acts of service ; charles leclerc

— summary; in which Charles shares the love story between you two when asked about it in an interview with Arthur.

pairing — charles leclerc x first-love!f. reader

social media au

content — everything he does in order to win your heart over, it wasn’t even that hard now that he thought of it. he says it’s his naturally sweet nature and his actions mattered more.

NAVIGATION + author’s note: yeah this was from none other than my comfort chinese drama that i never finished because i didn’t want it to end

Liked by ynusername, arthur_leclerc, and 2,836,396 others

charles_leclerc My number 1 supporter, my bestest friend in the world, the best thing that could ever happen to me. I love you so much no words could ever describe it, I wouldn’t be here without you. I always thought I’d live my life ordinarily, until i met you. Everytime I look in your eyes, there’s nothing but me in them. I kept thinking why in this world, there’d be someone as bright as the sun. When I fail, when I encounter difficulties and want to give up, you’ll say “it’s okay, you are the best for me.”

View all 12,936 comments

ynusername chacha i love you so much it’s unreal, my best friend ever. the best for me. 💋

charles_leclerc @ynusername ti amooo ❤️

arthur_leclerc Family 🤍

lorenzotl ❤️❤️❤️

landonorris i hope you’re happy for making me want to drive off the cliff 🤢🤢

carlossainz55 that’s my favourite engineer right there

charles_leclerc_fanpage everyone needs a charles leclerc, he is the standard

Liked by charles_leclerc, f1 and 1,673,462 others

ynusername Chacha! my love, my deskmate since highschool, the one and only where his actions spoke louder than his words. you’re the best thing that can ever happen to me and I’m sooo thankful for that. If everyone’s 100/100, you’ll always be 101/100. I’d always give you my special 1 point, it’ll always be saved for you. I don’t think I can ever love someone else like you, you’re It for me. I love you and will always love you 🤍

View all 6,836 comments

charles_leclerc amoreee, your chacha forever. my personal paparazzi and photographer, my love for you is bigger than the whole sky. 😍

ynusername @charles_leclerc i love youuuu

landonorris please stop with this, i can no longer stomach it. a gun in my mouth rn

f1 the only couple that matters besides yukierre

cl16.updates everyone needs a relationship like them

f1daily no one else comes as close to them

Liked by ynusername, scuderiaferrari and 3,835,429 others

charles_leclerc Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sight I’ve always come home to. Her summer break; studying & races. My summer break; she’s still studying… Hey but I guess that’s where she got me today! 🤍

View all 6,826 comments

ynusername I study for the sake of your team, we’ll come back stronger!

charles_leclerc @ynusername my one and only engineer 🤍

carlossainz55 give her a break 🗣️🗣️

charles_leclerc @carlossainz55 mate I do, why else would I post the second picture 😏

carlossainz55 @charles_leclerc OK TMI, please leave OUR engineer alone.

scuderiaferrari That’s our #1 engineer!

charles_16_lec favourite couple 🥹

Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,825,369 others

ynusername I promise I still take notes for Charles, it’s just that I take notes of him now. The GQ magazine, absolutely majestic… Enjoy your summer break, your engineer will carry on working hard!!! Let’s keep pushing, we’ll be back stronger xx

View all 3,628 comments

charles_leclerc sweetest girl, I love you 😘

ynusername @charles_leclerc 🤍

maxverstappen1 Do you fancy a space in the Redbull garage

ynusername @maxverstappen1 appreciate it Max, but I’m right where I need to be.

maxverstappen1 @ynusername worth a shot 😞 miss you, you and charles come over soon yeah

f1 Our Favourite Engineer!

#charles #charles leclerc #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #cl16 #cl16 imagine #cl16 x reader #f1 ferrari #fanfiction #fluff #leclerc #cl16 x you #f1 x you #f1 #chlerc

539 notes · View notes

ladyloveandjustice · 3 months

Text

My Favorite Continuing Manga I Read in 2023

I went into the brand new manga I read in this post, but here's an update on some great continuing series!

Shout out to She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat for having phenomenal storyline about find the courage to cut toxic family members off, which is pretty rare to see (in manga especially)! The story explores how your family can impose a relationship with food that harms you in many different ways, and how finding acceptance of your food habits helps you heal. It also continues to be a lovely exploration of queer adults finding themselves that makes the point that your experiences don't have to fit in a box. And I appreciate that they included a character who doesn't like eating that much for me to relate to! See my first review here,

Now for a quick word about the other great continuing manga I read:

- I Want to be a Wall really upped it's game and included a nuanced discussion about asexuality that I loved seeing. See first review here.

- Yuri is My Job is still the best lesbian drama manga around and hits hard. See previous discussion here,

- A Man and His Cat is still the sweetest and Yona of the Dawn is as action packed and intriguing as ever...I feel a climax slowly coming!

- A Bride’s Story is still wonderfully done historical fiction with lush art while How Do We Relationship continues to develop its web of queer relationships nicely.

- Witch Hat Atelier is still a wondrous story of magic, creativity, accessibility, and struggling under unfair systems, all told in a fascinating fantasy setting with loveable, complex characters and incredible art.

A lot of manga I like concluded this year too, so let's take a slightly longer look at the conclusions!

Dungeon Meshi- The conclusion to one of my favorite fantasy manga ever was fittingly bombastically weird and fully satisfying. It filled you up like good food should. Live well instead of being consumed by fear of death and loss. Eat well instead of working yourself to the bone and neglecting your needs. Follow your own path, but cherish your connections and get together for a good meal. This series and its intricate world and wonderful characters will stay with me for a long time.

Catch These Hands- See my first review here. I enjoyed the cute conclusion to this series, and it was nice to see a little ace rep and a message about not conforming to society's expectations of "adulthood". It's an ode to delinquent girls that a sukeban stan like me can get behind! A lot of the stuff that annoyed me in the second volume was mostly dropped for the third and fourth, so that's also nice.

Run Away With Me Girl- See my first review here. I wish this had been a little longer, but the conclusion worked well and was cathartic.

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon- See my first review here. A nice conclusion to a cute, slow-paced little romance series, with yet more ace rep!

The Two of Them are Pretty Much Like This- see my first review here. This conclusion felt a bit rushed, with plot lines still dangling, like it was cancelled early or something. But the series is still good overall, and I'll miss it.

My Love Mix Up -This sweet-as-pie series about cute gay misunderstandings leading to romance comes to a fittingly sweet conclusion. It's sad waving goodbye to these silly, good-hearted kids, but I'm satisfied with where they ended up.

#year in comics #manga #yuri #dungeon meshi #yuri is my job #witch hat atelier #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #a man and his cat #a bride's story #how do we relationship #doughnuts under a crescent moon #the two of them are pretty much like this #run away with me girl #my love mix up #akatsuki no yona #yona of the dawn #my reviews

189 notes · View notes

crooked-wasteland · 5 months

Text

An SA Survivor's Reading of Stolitz

I don't believe that creators should be confined to telling one type of story. The beauty of fiction is to explore worlds, emotions and scenarios that are by definition unreal. It gives a safe space to interact with extremes that we would never necessarily wish to experience in our real lives with the ultimate safeword of no longer engaging with the material.

That being said, as creators, there is an ethical awareness that must be maintained in order to tell stories of things like trauma and abuse. Being alone in a cabin in the woods with a killer, that scenario is not a pervasive subculture in our society. Whereas cases of child abuse, sexual and domestic abuse are not only real, but common. And the complexities of psychological damage that perseveres long after the traumatic events are necessary aspects to telling these stories.

If you are not consciously aware and attentive to the lasting impact these events have, you run up against the horrific possibility of retraumatizing an individual unprepared for the callous invalidation of their experience.

No one should ever be shamed for engaging with media that depicts trauma they themselves may have experienced. For many, engaging in the fiction of it is a way of processing and validating their experience. Frankly saying, if you wish to write about trauma at all, you should be writing for that audience in specific. Otherwise you are simply exploiting the horrors that real people live through and struggle with every day for some cheap drama at the risk of triggering someone whose story you are inadvertently telling.

And much like most therapy speak, the term Triggered has become appropriated and misused to the point of losing all meaning in the lexicon. According to the University of North Carolina, "A trigger is a stimulus that elicits a reaction. In the context of mental illness, "trigger" is often used to mean something that brings on or worsens symptoms. This often happens to people with a history of trauma or who are recovering from mental illness, self-harm, addiction, and/or eating disorders."

The university breaks down the types of triggers as well and gives examples as to what those subcategories mean. I highly recommend that even if you are not the sort to follow up on references, I do recommend going over the article. It offers coping suggestions as well for those who are at risk of becoming triggered and helps refocus the sense of control back to the individual.

With that said, this is where I came across the inspiration for this essay. I completely removed all information for this user because the last thing someone needs when expressing how the misappropriation of abuse triggers them is how it is their fault for being triggered. These are the original tweets this response was in reference to.

As such, I feel the empathetic need to write this essay as a sympathetic reading to this person and others who have experienced SA who find that Stolitz resonates in an undesirable and even harmful way. I think this person deserves to feel seen.

To make the argument that the relationship between Stolas and Blitz isn't fundamentally abusive requires an author-intent reading of the series. It necessitates massive leaps to fill in gaping plot holes that never clarify the story Medrano is intending to tell. This is plainly just a reading of the series as is with all the context that has been physically, actually, shown in the series and that alone.

Throughout the series, Blitz is depicted as emotionally volatile and unpredictable with low self-esteem and crippling loneliness. He is constantly hounding his employees through sexual harassment from a sense of envy over their loving relationship, and infantalizes his twenty-two year old adopted daughter through an abusive dynamic where she ranges from rude to outrightly cruel while he consistently sacrifices any personal boundaries and self-respect.

The relationship between Loona and Blitz in specific feels like a masochistic self-hatred on Blitz's part where he allows himself to be used and abused by a parasitic family member to feel wanted, showing a pure desperation to be desired by someone in any way. Loona is verbally and physically abusive to her adopted father, using terms of endearment like "Dad" as a tactic to control Blitz's behavior, rewarding him when he does something for her benefit and taking it away when she deems him embarrassing or unwanted.

Blitz's tie to Stolas in the main story comes when he is called in a vulnerable time. Hiding from Martha who is hunting him down, he explicitly tells Stolas that now is not a good time to call. Stolas, who has a visual of Blitz's situation, ignores all of it. He is unconcerned about the danger Blitz is in, instead viewing Blitz solely as a sexual object as he offers the trade of the book for sex.

Stolas is more keenly aware of Blitz's situation than even Blitz is aware of. He not only is told that the current moment is not a good time, and Blitz's tense tone portrays a sense of anxiety, but he can physically see Blitz. It exists entirely within reason that he chose this specific moment to call while he knew Blitz was in a difficult position, using the tension to leverage a quick response that would get Stolas his way without needing to intimidate Blitz himself. Using the threat of a third party to pressure compliance from Blitz.

Come Loo Loo Land, the interactions between Blitz and Stolas are simply outright hostile. Blitz actively does not want to have a sexual encounter with Stolas and is even so untrusting of the Goetia that he is repeatedly asserting the boundary that he is not at all interested in sex, which Stolas explicitly mocks by being openly sexually suggestive to him. Everything Stolas has to say to Blitz is steeped in objectified sexuality as Blitz asserts his person, dehumanizing him to the point that Blitz is first and foremost an object of gratification. Even to the point of neglecting and humiliating his daughter, Stolas uses the excuse of spending time with her as a means of leering on Blitz.

In this episode we see Blitz has a history of being overlooked and unappreciated. His act in Loo Loo Land went nowhere and we see the first hints of his failed performance career. Over the course of the series, this hint towards a crippling lack of self esteem masked by an extroverted exterior is reinforced.

In Harvest Moon, Blitz is genuinely flustered when given recognition by Striker. He is quick to devalue his relationship with Stolas because there genuinely isn't a relationship at this point.

After having gone missing for two episodes, Stolas returns, being slightly less sexual and slightly more affectionate. It is a sudden recharacterization, but it is only for this scene. The rest of the episode once again shows how Stolas values Blitz physically in a sexualized manner and claims Blitz through the use of a pet name he repeatedly requests not to be called. In the opening scene, Blitz vocalizes that he "doesn't mind" their arrangement for the book, which could be taken at face value in regards to the first season. He does have the option to reject the agreement at any time and return the book in the context of this episode. It's why, despite still being an abuse of power dynamics overall, the relationship itself doesn't tip over into abuse. Blitz has the same amount of autonomy as Stolas at this time, before the context of season two, he has just as much power to end the agreement.

With the addition of The Circus, this retroactively is a situation of placating one's abuser. Blitz assuring Stolas that he doesn't mind the sex would be a way of asserting Stolas' complete control over the relationship and that Blitz isn't necessarily threatening the status quo by his question.

They don't actually know anything about each other, they aren't friends and don't spend time together outside of their forced meetings. Blitz doesn't know anything about Stolas and questioning the need Stolas has for his book could very well be read as a means of interrogating the agreement as a whole and figuring out why this was the arrangement.

(The argument that Blitz had any opportunity to negotiate things comes from an audience bias. It is probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen put into writing. Blitz doesn't know that he has any leverage in the relationship at all. He doesn't actually know Stolas has any feelings for him. That's kind of the whole point of the hot and cold romance slant that Medrano is trying to replicate.)

This is because the book is not the reason the relationship exists.

Blitz does not instigate sexual conduct, Stolas does by leading Blitz into a private room and locking them both inside with the impression Blitz would have sex with him. Blitz has no choice in the location or the isolation. He was caught trying to illegally break into the home for the explicit purpose of stealing the book. He was caught and is effectively at Stolas' mercy in every sense of the word. Not only is he still alive due to Stolas' whimsy, but if he tries to escape now after being shown this grace he could risk having the guards hunt him down and the second time will most likely not be so kind.

He literally does not know Stolas. They met for a day as a playdate and Blitz spent the whole time manipulating Stolas into facilitating his own robbery. There is no trust between them, there isn't even a relationship. While the doe-eyed pink vignette animated around Blitz shows that Stolas has an attraction to him, Blitz is entirely in the dark about this. Stolas' behavior is merely unpredictable and precarious from his position and limited knowledge.

(Just a side note, the argument that because someone decides to do something must mean they are not afraid is just asinine. Generally speaking, most people who commit crimes are in a state of fight or flight, it is more akin to gambling your actual life. Its a rewards and risks assessment, not a case of being sociopathically unafraid.)

It isn't until Stolas dramatically announces his desire for sex that Blitz realizes he has something that can be used to distract the Prince while he steals the book. And that's the issue with the argument that Blitz is the one willingly escalating the situation: it's not sincere. Throughout the entire sequence, Blitz isn't once sincerely interested in Stolas. He leans into the pretense to gain control of the situation, of which, might I remind you, he has had zero control over up to this point. Not only is he not interested in Stolas, but this is a bid for control from the position of helplessness. This way he is not relying on Stolas' unpredictable behavior, he is reclaiming power in the dynamic by playing into Stolas' desire.

("But Stolas says nevermind and Blitz keeps going!!"

Yeah, because he needs to maintain control of the situation. This is what power dynamics actually look like; there is a two-way push and pull. The only way he has any power is through the lens of sexuality. He needs to keep Stolas interested in him to keep his position. But throughout the scene, he is explicitly depicted as being put off by Stolas. In fact the entire reason he ties Stolas up is because he was becoming too into the act. He is shown to not be sensually performing bondage, he is trying to remove a problem.

And side-side note, I know I said I wouldn't lean into Medrano's intention or explicit dictation on how she demands her show be interpreted, but she was the one who said that The Circus and Loo Loo Land are connected in the timeline and Blitz's hostility in Loo Loo Land reads far more like a man who feels used and taken advantage of. So even the argument that Blitz was an enthusiastic participant is disproven by Medrano's own metacommentary and character interactions.)

And ultimately, it all boils down to that last moment scene. Between willingly having sex with Stolas when he is tied up or the book, Blitz makes for the door to leave. He doesn’t willingly engage in sex with Stolas. Either you can read the scene as a form of pity sex, which in the context of Medrano’s timeline and Loo Loo Land, shows Blitz was not enamored with the encounter or you have to read this as being manipulatively pressured into it. There is no way to argue Blitz has any leverage in the situation and no grounds to argue that it was mutually enjoyed.

That doesn’t even start to cover the fact that all the way to Ozzie’s, Blitz is repulsed by Stolas. When calling, he openly shows that this is something he would rather not be doing. He doesn’t have feelings for Stolas and despite just using the man who is using him, just having to deal with Stolas is distressing for him.

This is not an equal or fair relationship dynamic. It is not a mutual relationship. This is a relationship of self-preservation and coercion. And the fact is, it could have worked with very small changes to The Circus. Having the dynamic be actually mutual would have been a great start, but just properly addressing the actual dynamic and having Stolas take ownership of what he's done, and validating the fact that coercion is sexual abuse. Because out of all the sweeping changes, retcons and inconsistencies, the one aspect that has persevered throughout the show is just how trapped Blitz feels.

In Truth Seekers, Blitz’s hallucination is contradictory in its attempt to be visceral, and that is not inherently a problem. Trying to be abstract, it is normal for people to experience contradictory emotions over something. It makes sense in that way, but it needs reinforcement in the expanded narrative to tell it's story. As such I am just going to give my reading on the sequence based on my narrative and state it as fact.

The clown costume shows that Blitz sees himself as a joke, feeding into his low self-worth that no matter what he does, he is always the clown being laughed at. The murky wasteland is a reflection of his life. Devoid of anything bright or good, it is populated by dead trees and the ground is a quicksand like sludge, showing how he devours the good and extinguishes it in his own life. He kills his own happiness. Moxxie exists as a critical voice Blitz hears, telling him how stupid and awful he is to everyone around him. Blitz rejects his own self-criticism, reaffirming his self destructive victim mentality that appears when faced with the consequences of his own actions.

It's when the characters of Fizzarolli, Verosika and Striker appear that Blitz gives his regrets, insecurities and resentments voice, poorly impersonating the voices of those who saw the real him. Striker mocking Blitz’s need for companionship, how he lies to himself constantly and presents himself as independent and assured when really he sees himself as needy and pathetic.

Fizzarolli adds to it, pointing out Blitz’s failures to make it on his own, however this portion of the series should probably be considered non-canon as the newest episodes established that Fizzarolli and Blitz have not had any contact with each other since the accident. The more important line Fizzarolli says “You're going to die alone”, have been written out of the show. There would have been no time or place for Fizz to have ever spoken this to Blitz.

Then there is Verosika, who brings up Blitz’s self destructive tendencies, showing Blitz’s own abusive behaviors towards characters like Moxxie. It also suggests an explanation to why Blitz tolerates Loona, because her constant rejection of him contradicts his reactionary need to push others away, as well as feeds his self-flagillation.

It is when he endeavors to flee the reflections of the worst parts of himself that he runs into Stolas. Perched atop a pristine staircase of gold, being fanned by two silhouettes of Blitz. This shows the power imbalance in every way. Blitz doesn't even walk up the stairs, but crawls. Himself just a faceless accessory to Stolas’ desires, but everything he has intrinsically tied to the power Stolas' exerts over him. This is shown explicitly by the chains around his hands and neck, Stolas' reeling him in as he bears a grimace of reluctance. It is the most explicit representation of being trapped between two bad decisions. Either he is just the joke, the failure, the asshole, the stupid piece of shit, or he is the pet, the object, the toy. Stolas mentioning Blitz being "afraid to love" is less a suggestion that Blitz has any feelings for Stolas, but instead his psyche convincing himself that the relationship is not so exploitive. That he is not being dehumanized and abused, but on some messed up level he is being wanted and desired, which is better than the wastes below.

Maybe one could say that Blitz is being elevated out of his situation for how the feathers removed the costume and sludge, essentially wiping him clean of his worst self, providing a sense of safety. But he only has this opportunity because of Stolas, and it isn't free as shown by the feathers also becoming the chains binding him. Because at the end of the day, Stolas isn't the prize at the end of the climb to self actualization, the stairs belonged to him in the first place. To escape the horror-filled wasteland below, Blitz has to play by the rules of the owner of the stairs.

And ultimately, that isn't a story that is off-limits.

The Stolas apologist argument is why the depiction of this dynamic is triggering and harmful, not the fact that it exists in the media. Just owning the scenario and having Stolas acknowledge that he has sexually abused Blitz would have gone a long way. Instead, Medrano and the fandom have insistently represented this victim-blaming interpretation where Blitz is responsible for his own abuse. And that will never be okay. This goes all the way back to my "Not All Victims are Survivors" post. Blitz is the victim in this and his bad behaviour and own abusive actions directly correspond to the fact that he is a victim with a victim mindset. He actively lives in the middle of his abuse and has formed maladaptive strategies through manipulation, harassment, verbal abuse, and self harm. These do not remove his victim status. There is no such thing as a "Perfect Victim". And he should not have to be any sort of way in order to have that experience validated. And the issue that is at the heart of this show is that the narrative and the fanbase require a victim to be framed as delicate and hapless to circumstance with a soft and gentle personality to be a victim. To come out of abuse aggressive and harsh with sharp edges is framed as being less valid. But this outcome is normal and it's a difficult battle to work on oneself to feel safe again. It's absolutely a story worth telling.

But you first have to be interested in telling a story.

#helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #spindlehorse criticism #vivziepop criticism #tw self destructive behavior #tw sexulization #tw sa

241 notes · View notes

chaoticevilspacewitch · 24 days

Text

RWBY Fanfic Recommendation List

Fics that have really struck me, vaguely organized by ship and/or topic.

Bumbleby (Blake x Yang)

first off, basically anything by pugoata. She's the goddess-empress of the Bees. I'm gonna give particular props to Banshee, as it was the first longer fic and AU that I read, and it really opened up my mind to what fanfic could be.

You're a Mountain, Full of Glory - a ski/snowboard with amazing characterization and a closing scene that will live rent-free in my head forever, in a good way.

They Can't Steal the Love You're Born to Find - childhood soulmates repeatedly torn apart and reconnecting, with courtroom drama. One of the most angst-ridden Bee fics I've ever read.

Fucking In Love - pornstar AU that gets right to the sex and slow burns the romance. Hot as hell while also full of tenderness and pining.

Midnight Menagerie - exotic dancer, kinda-cyberpunk dystopia AU. Edges you forever with the sex, earns all the angst tags, and we are majorly trusting @kaelidascope when she promises an amazing happy ending.

Bite Me Like You Love Me - one of the hottest Bee smutfics I've ever read.

You and Me - Blake discovers she's pregnant the day Yang goes MIA on a mission and struggles through being a single mother teaching their child about her amazing other mom. Short, happy ending, amazingly sweet.

WhiteRose (Ruby x Weiss)

The Foxtrot - Ruby and Weiss repair their broken lives after the war. It's one of the most popular RWBY fics of all time for a reason.

Can You See My Strings?/Deja Vu - premium mentally ill Weiss escapes from child abuse angst, with a happy ending if you read the sequel.

But Your Voice Used to Be Mine - Weiss escapes abuse to join RBY's punk band whose smash hit she inspired.

Just One Cigarette - Ruby and Weiss have a little meetup roleplay and it's really good.

Faunus Weiss (generally major themes of struggling with internal and external racism)

Craving the Sky - Weiss has painfully concealed her faunus heritage while she tries to earn her father's love. The support of her team, and the love of Blake and Yang (BeesSchnees) help her soar on her own.

Black Swan Theory - faunus Weiss struggles to recover from child abuse and navigate a deeply racist society while building a relationship with Pyrrha (Schneekos).

Clipped Wings - secret faunus Weiss, dealing with racism and abuse from Jacques, this time slow burning towards Pollination.

Villainesses

Melting Glace - Cinder and Neo find love, and no redemption, in the trauma of failing to destroy Beacon. Will make you cheer for them to win by the end.

Rise from the Ashes - Cinder has a Vader moment and saves Ruby from Salem, and Ruby's pure heart helps her heal, and their adversarial relationship turn to affection. Peak RWBY enemies-to-lovers.

Odds & Ends

The Bermuda Triangle - great modern AU BeesSchnees that gets filthy hot at the end.

Midnight Rose - Summer rescues and adopts Cinder out of Atlas. Their relationship, and Cinder coming to love the Xiao Long-Rose family, is beautifully depicted. Still very much ongoing (no ships as of yet).

Fallen Maiden - Jaune dies protecting Pyrrha at Beacon, and the Fall Maiden power remains split. Will Pyrrha's bloody crusade of vengeance consume her? Or, 'Pyrrha goes full Magneto and fucks Cinder up'.

What's In A Name? - Winter and May grow up together, struggling to cope with their feelings for each other against the background of the Atlas aristocracy.

Linked In Life and Love - I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this one. I really, really love the first act, where Team RWBY sees Blake suffering terribly through a surprise heat cycle and decides that they will all "help" her with it. It's sweet and tender and feels legit for them. I'm not a huge fan of where all the series has gone since, but I would invite anyone to judge that for themselves.

(As I see this getting a decent amount of traffic, I'll just point out that, if it's convinced you [correctly] of my impeccable taste in fanfic, you might want to check out my own RWBY writings)

#rwby #rwby fanfic #rwby shipping #ao3 #rwby recommendations #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #bumbleby #whiterose #save rwby #save crwby #greenlight volume 10

100 notes · View notes

wolfytae-exe · 8 months

Note

okay hear me OUT. beomgyu teaching an inexperienced reader how to give head and like.. reader is a natural omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Lawd- Stop I just got a whole plot from this alone🤭 Ima try my best to do this justice.

Genre: smut , Fluff

Pairings: Boyfriend!Beomgyu, CelibateAfab!Reader

Warnings: Oral (bg receiving), praise heavy, reader gets a little cock hungry, First time, dry humping, Handjob

Note: unedited like always 💀, the readers celibacy only umbrellas sexual intercourse and sexual acts like oral or handjobs.

Summary: in which you surprise your boyfriend with news about your abstinence.

Beomgyu is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. You’ve been dating Beomgyu for 2 years now and not once has he begged you for anything sexual. You told him the moment you guys had your first kiss that you were completely abstinence and he gave you a warm smile and told you he was perfectly fine with it.

You were scared the lack of sex would ruin your relationship but Beomgyu showed you how patient and how loving he could be without it. You knew deep down he wanted you more than what you allowed him but he never complained, never even made a sly comment or asked for any help when he would get horny.

Beomgyu was the sweetest boy you could have ever ended up loving and you had decided months prior to March 13th, that you were going to reward him with the gift of your abstinence.

It was currently the end of Beomgyu’s birthday party, not much people had attended besides his 4 friends, and his parents who took a 3 hour subway ride from Daegu for the special day. The now 22 year olds parents had left first, wanting to get home at a reasonable time, his 4 friends, however, had decided to stay a bit longer, wanting nothing more than to tease your boyfriend about becoming old.

You were in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess you had created when you made Beomgyu his birthday dinner while the boys hung out in the living area, opening up presents they had gotten the birthday boy.

“OH MY GOD!” You heard your amazing boyfriend squeal from the open area. “Honey I have a new guitar!” Beomgyu continued over the smacks of his socked feet on the hard wood as he sped walked his way got the kitchen.

You were currently wiping down the counter but paused as he lifted the blue and white acoustic guitar up above his head with sparkling doe eyes. You eyed Beomgyu with adoration, a smile stretching onto your face as he set the guitar down to give you a small kiss on the cheek. He always avoided your lips after finding out about your celibacy, not wanting to push your boundaries.

“Thank you for this special day, Y/N.” He whispered softly before pulling you into a hug, truly happy with the day. “Of course, Gyu.” You uttered back as you ran your fingers through the hairs on the nape of his neck softly, earning a small loving hum on his end.

Soft things like this was what let you both know how strong your guys’ love was for each other. He pulled off after a bit with sparkly eyes as he went back to the other side of the counter where his newly bought guitar laid, and picked it up. You watched as he made his way back over to his 4 friends who went and teased him for being so soft.

You went back to your dishes and listened to them as Beomgyu began to strum the guitar while Taehyun sung lyrics to the sound. It was peaceful and calm for the rest of the night.

It’s was about an hour or so later now and Beomgyu’s friend had left about 30 minutes ago. Your head rested on Beomgyus lap while he played with your hair and watched TV. You both decided to rewatch ‘Strong Girl Do Bong Soon’ since it was one of the things that brought you both together, but from how late it was you were beginning to get restless with how close it was reaching midnight.

“Hey.. Beomgyu?” You spoke over the TV and peered up at him. “Yes, Honey?” Beomgyu gave you his attention almost immediately, pausing the K-drama so he could hear you better. Your heart was beating hard, you were ready but of so nervous.

Your boyfriend must have noticed your tenseness because he stopped working his fingers over your hair. “Is everything okay?”, You could hear his voice laced with concern as he lifted his hand from you, letting you sit yourself up. You gave him a firm nod before placing a shaky hand on his thigh.

Your boyfriend seemed more shocked and concerned the moment you moved your hand. “What are you doing?” He muttered as you tried to fight the shy blush that threatened to spread over your cheeks.

“I’m ready now.” You whispered softly, too shy to say it any louder.

Beomgyu heard you, however, a gasp coming out almost comically loud. “Are you sure? I know how much your celibacy means to you.” He made it known, not wanting you to regret your decision. “I’m sure, I want you to break my celibacy.” You said a bit louder, a normal speaking voice as you eyed him through your eyelashes.

Beomgyu’s breath was caught in this throat, the thought of you finally letting him love on you more than he ever has had his heart racing and a smile spreading on his face.

“Then let’s go to the bedroom.” He spoke softly before standing up and pulling you up with him.

You were excited, finally you knew you found the love of your life and you knew you were never going to regret this decision.

Was this supposed to be this awkward? You and your boyfriend were now sitting next to each other on your shared bed in silence. Beomgyu seemed too nervous to make a move on you, not wanting you to regret giving the opportunity to him. You were nervous you were pushing him to do something he was no longer comfortable doing with you.

“Gyu, dear.” You spoke, breaking the long silence and his focus on the carpet by your bedroom door. “Hm?” He hummed, lifting his attention to you. “Are you sure you want to do this? I can stay abstinent if you aren’t comfortable with this.” You turned your body towards him. That was enough to make Beomgyus eyes widen.

“No of course not, I want this too! I just never really thought I’d have this moment with you.” He mutters the last part before scooting closer to you. Slowly he leaned his face to yours. “Y/N, can I kiss you?” He asked softly against you lips. Your face was hot, the feeling of his lips right over yours giving you butterflies like all those years ago.

With a hand placed on your heart to keep it from completely beating out your chest you muttered your words of consent. “yes.” And with that Beomgyu was caressing your cheek before cupping your jaw and pulling you in. The kiss was soft, slow, and sensual, Beomgyu was taking his time with you as you tried to follow his rhythm, your lips melded together, moving as one as he let a tongue dart over your bottom lip.

You let a small hun escape before opening your mouth a bit, he followed, the now open mouthed kiss started to make your stomach turn, the anxiety causing you to tremble as his tongue moved into your mouth. Your hands moved to his shoulder, trying to keep yourself grounded while he licked and sucked at your tongue.

Eventually he pulled away with a pant, catching his breath as he eyed your swollen wet lips. “Was that okay?” He panted as he resisted the urge to go back in. You could only nod before you were making a move back, planting a kiss onto his lips a couple times before starting the make out session again.

Your hands slowly relaxed, pulling him in for more. You were beginning to get lost in him, the kiss grew messy and heated fast as climbed onto his lap to get a better angle into the kiss. You could feel his hands begin to roam, finally growing comfortable with the acts he was committing with you.

His hands found purchase on your hips, keeping you still on his lap before rutting you down on him, the feeling left you startled, you clit which never gotten disturbed unless you heard Beomgyu having his fill on pleasure before bed, throbbed at the feeling of his surprisingly hard cock rubbing so foreignly against it.

You pulled off, gasping a moan as you chased for him to do it again. Beomgyu simply smiled as he dragged you against him once again. “Gyu-“ You panted as you practically pushed against his hands, dry humping against him embarrassingly. “Baby if you make yourself cum, I won’t be able to show you how much I love you.” Beomgyu chuckled before placing open mouth kisses on your neck, sucking hickeys as he let you rut against him the a bitch in heat.

Your underwear stuck to you under your shorts as the throbbing in your clit intensified, at some point it was too much and you stopped, whimpering at the uncontrollable angry pulses coming from your heat. “Honey you should take it slow.” Beomgyu hummed, he didn’t really feel anything in your rutting due to his jeans blocking your self-indulging activities.

You let out a small “okay..” before climbing off his lap. Beomgyu smiled at your fucked out expression before grabbing a pillow and throwing it at your feet. “I’ll show you how to give me some pleasure okay?” He asked and unzipped his jeans once you nodded, getting onto your knees when you realized where this was going.

Beomgyu pulled his jeans off and tossed it onto the floor without a second thought. He scooted himself off the bed a bit and you sat yourself up, your face level with his crotch now. “Wanna make me feel good baby?” he asked with a whisker smile as he pet you on the top of your head. You let out a whine, watching his hard cock through his boxers, wanting nothing more than to make him feel good.

“Go ahead.” Beomgyu spoke before resting a hand behind him to keep him steady as he leaned back. He wanted to see what your first move would be. Your hands fell straight to his boxers, looking up to see if it was okay as you palmed his balls lightly. When he let out a hum, fighting the want to buck into your hand you took it as a sign to keep going.

Slowly your hands were replaced with small kisses, you fought the thought of pushing your face into him and just sniffing him until it made your nose bleed, he smelt so good. Beomgyu’s underwear was wet by time you pulled away spots of saliva staining the outline of his cock has he held his lips in between his teeth.

More impatient than him, you pulled his boxers off, flinching when he cock sprung from the fabric and almost smacked you in the face. Beomgyu could help but snicker, finding you nothing but cute. You pouted, embarrassed, but Beomgyu simply leaned in. “I’ll help you.” He muttered before grabbing your hand. You let him direct you. Watching as he made you fist his cock, holding him at the base.

Beomgyu then wrapped his hand against yours. “Look at our hands, Honey.” He spoke louder before dragging both your hands up to his wet tip and back down, coating your hand and his cock in pre-cum. “fuck”, You heard him gasp before moving a bit faster, you were flustered, He was fucking himself with your hand, driving himself mad with the way your fingers closed in on his tip.

“T-The tip-“ He panted to you before letting go, wanting you to explore his body on your own. You allowed your hands to move, staying on his tip as you rotated your wrist a bit. You were unsure of your movements until you heard your boyfriend let out a guttural moan, the sound going straight to your cunt.

Your hands quickened and slowed, moving in a pattern. Beomgyu was honestly pretty shocked with how good you were making him feel. He couldn’t help but sink his teeth into his bottom lip to reduce his moans to whimpers, unable to keep fully quiet, especially when you stopped all movements and leaned into his hard cock, planting a small kiss on his red leaking tip.

Without a second thought Beomgyus hand moved to your head, running his fingers through your hair gently. “Please…” He begged under his breath at the feeling of your face so close to him.

You peeked up at him through your eyelashes. Was he always this beautiful? “Dunno how.” You muttered softly before moving back into his hand, face moving farther from his cock reluctantly.

“I can show you.” He panted, leaning back now. “You can start slow, a few licks. You think you can lick my cock, doll?” He asked, attempting to not buck in your hand that never left his cock. You gave a feverish nod before leaning back in, licking hesitantly at his tip. The salty taste had you go back in, more sure of your actions now.

“Fuck, just like that Honey, you’re so good to me.” Beomgyu panted as you warmed up to sucking on his cock, keeping him in between your lips away from you teeth. Beomgyu was astonished, he’s had blowjobs before but, this was so much more overwhelming than the ones he’s had, granted that was in college and late highschool but that’s besides the point.

Beomgyu could help but buck into your mouth as your tongue pressed flat over his shaft, causing you to gag over him. Your throat closed over him before allowing him to slip back out for you to cough. Tears sprung into your eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

“I’m sorry-“ Beomgyu panted before leaning closer and checking on you. “I didn’t hurt you right?” He asked, nerves racking him silently. “I’m okay.” You whispered, throat clenching if you spoke a bit louder. With a clear of your throat you pushed your hand against his abdomen and pushed him to lean back onto his hands before going back down on him.

Beomgyu couldn’t help but let out a moan at the feeling of your tongue digging into his slit before you took him deep into your mouth. Almost like brushing your tongue in the morning you paused half way and focused on breathing through your nose.

The moment your breathing felt normal you moved, pushing down with your tongue flattened around his cock until you felt him nearing the back of your throat. You peeked up at him as he grabbed your hair, fighting the urge to pulling your head up and down his cock.

His eyes were half open, mouth opened with his teeth clenched as he sucked in shallow breaths. You let out a hum, pleased with yourself for making him this way. Beomgyus mouth fell completely open as he cussed. “Fuck- do that again- please Honey, feels good.” He begged, fingers burrowed into your scalp.

You obliged, humming as you bobbed your head up and down. Quickly you got a reaction. Moans and groans reaching your ears as you kept your hand on his abdomen, keeping him in his spot while you pulled his arousal out of him. His cock twitched as he noticed the spit running over your cheek and chin.

You pulled off with a gasp, using your hand to keep the pleasure going over his tip. “So good- Y/N oh- oh god.” Your boyfriend rambled, racked with pleasure. You were happy you could give him the pleasure he longed from you for so long. Your patient, loving boyfriend, even in this situation he’s praising you.

You began to plant kisses on his inner thigh, still jerking him off. Your kisses melted into his skin as you dragged up to his cock again, licking a long stripe from his balls to the tip before taking him whole again.

“Please- close- Im close Y/N” beomgyu panted with a whimper to your name. You happily kept going, hollowing your cheeks and sucking until you felt his abdomen constrict and his cock twitch. Beomgyu was quick to pull you off before cumming with a raspy groan. Cum spurting out in long creamy white strings before coating his lower abdomen and thighs.

You watched in awe as his arousal shook through him, leaving him whimpering and gasping. You rubbed you thighs together in need, wanting nothing more than to feel the same pleasure he did. With a small whine you crawled up onto the bed, planting a kiss to his lips.

Beomgyu chased you lips slightly, getting another peck out of you before a breathy “I love you” Left his lips. You were soaking wet, your heat begging for him. “I love you too” You uttered back as you’re stripped off your shorts and underwear. Slowly you crawled onto his lap, rutting down on his thighs. You were too scared to put his dick in you so humping would have to work for now.

Baby steps, you told yourself as you humped against him with your wet cunt. His cum mixed with your arousal which caused a nice slick feeling over your cunt, letting you feel nothing but pleasure the whole time until you eventually shook with it. You were going to stop again, overwhelmed with the feeling like before but Beomgyus hands snapped to your waste. “Chase it, Honey. You can’t stop you got to catch it.” He spoke softly to you.

You let out a whine, feeling too sensitive to keep going. “Gotta stop- too much-“ You panted, trying to hold through either way. “Look at me.” He whispered, grinding you down harder. Your eyes peered open to his, your eyes glistening at the overstimulation. “You’re okay, I got you.” He reassured before tensing his leg under you.

Your face fell into his shoulder, nodding into it before practically screaming in pleasure, the build up of your orgasm ripping through you hard. Your thighs squeezed around his as he continued to ride you through the pleasure. The slickness double with the mixture of your juices and cum.

Once the pleasure subsided you whimpered, feeling tired and over sensitive. “Good girl, you did it.” Your boyfriend whispered praise into your ear before laying you down onto the bed. “I’ll be right back, don’t fall asleep just yet.” He spoke before planting a kiss on your forehead and walking off to the bathroom.

You were dizzy, your ears still ringing and your limbs tingled. You felt happy. With your celibacy broken you just knew your sex life was in good hands with the one you loved, maybe you both would take it to the next level and try vaginal.

“Okay, Im here Honey. I’m going to clean you off” Beomgyu spoke a bit loud, now clean and in a change of clothes. You just hummed as he began to wipe you down, cleaning the mixed cum from your folds and the spit from your hands and face.

“My beautiful girl” He muttered, watching as you drifted to sleep. “I love you” He continued before tucking you under the sheets. With one last kiss to the cheek he walked off to clean the living room and washcloth.

“I love you too” Came from the covers.

#beomgyu smut #txt smut #beomgyu hard hours #kpop smut #non idol au #smut requests #txt hard hours #boyfriend!beomgyu #celibate!reader

260 notes · View notes

boyfriendgideon · 10 months

Text

as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.

and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.

and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.

and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).

but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.

and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.

it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.

and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.

#jason todd #jason todd meta #red hood #batfam #batman #dc comics #comic analysis #classism #tw: csa mention #maybe someday half of the most intriguing and nuanced aspects of his character will be touched upon #red hood outlaw 51-52 had some cool moments wrt jason + class + hometown friends + systems of power but. that was a two issue arc #and even then it was admittedly messy #GOD i want him to be three dimensional and well rounded and well used #even if a writer wrote a fucking. filler comic for an annual or smthn exploring what jason does outside of being red hood #keep the name if u want. have him have deliberately taken the name of his killer and twisted it until ppl from his city know rh #as a protector of kids and the poor and sex workers and so on. that WORKS. but show him connecting w his community #have him get involved in mutual aid. have him do something when he’s not out as red hood at night. let us see jason & barbara interact more #or jason and steph !!!!!!!! or another positive but complicated dynamic (he has a lot of those)#i just. i think that his stagnancy makes me fucking sad. i liked some aspects of task force z. felt like it ended too soon tho #FUCK the joker lets unpack his self concept & have him be a real person outside of vigilanteism (?) and vengeance #i liked some aspects of the cheer arc in batman urban legends mostly bc he had SOME agency and bc he wasn’t completely flat #even tho i hate the retconning of robin jason being angry and moody and so on #part of the problem is we don’t see him too too often for more than semi brief appearances so im so happy to see him i’ll just accept it #love the idea of a nightwing & red hood team up comic. hate that tom taylor a) wrote it and b) gave jason that stupid ass line abt justice #u think this man trusts cops ????? or the legal system !????????? BITCH.#get jason todd into like a sociology / gender and intersectionality / feminist studies class NOWWWWW #ok im done im sleepy and going to watch nimona. thx for reading to anyone who did #PLS anyone who reads this let me know what u think im frothing at the mouth rn #wes.txt #mine

265 notes · View notes

rainymoodlet · 3 months

Text

🌧 rainymoodlet is in full hiatus mode! 🌧

hoo... absolutely sick to my stomach writing this. ✌ for more information, please read below! thank you all for following my stories, loving my bachelor challenge, and loving my little pixels as much as i do. 😊

Well, my darling fellow simblrs... it's happened. It's been a bit of a long time coming over the past few months, but I've finally decided to put my blog into a permanent sort of "hiatus mode". I am a person who is riddled with executive dysfunction and lack of self-control, and I know that if I don't legitimately cut myself off from Simblr™ and the disassociation it's allowed me, I will. not. quit. 😅

I originally joined Simblr back in 2021 during a really difficult and isolated time in my life. I haven't been able to speak much to it because of the legal issues it's tied up in, but Simblr became my escape whilst in the throes of seeking justice against my abuser in a time where my entire family had abandoned me, and my fiance and I were living alone in my parents' house with only the two of us to swirl in deep and massive depression. Sims has always been my escape; from 2004 onward, it has given me narrative control and visual fantasy for as long as I can remember, and it will always be a deeply comforting and "safe" game for me.

But when I joined Simblr, it was out of many of the reasons that I think we can all relate to as writers and creatives. I had the idea for Loved by the Sun, and as I kept imagining and writing and building this world, I thought: "I deserve to show this to people. I really want people to see this. And I really want them to think it's good." I had been existing on the fringes of Simblr on my own personal Tumblr blog: I've seen countless legacies rise and fall, countless dramas spread out across blogs that are no longer active and haven't been for years. I wanted people to wake up and roll over and check my blog, desperate for updates, eager for more.

And more than anything, I wanted to escape the day-to-day hell I was living in.

But as the years went on, I've noticed that the excitement and creativity that drove my creation of my account has dwindled beyond measure. And I will put that on myself - starting a Bachelor Challenge like Kiss Me in Komorebi was one of the beginning nails in the coffin of my creativity and enjoyment of Simblr. I do not regret it one bit, and I am so grateful for the following it's gained and the genuine enjoyment you've all had with KMiK. It's my proudest achievement, it's pushed me to be a better editor and a better screenshot-taker, it's challenged me in my way of playing and it's introduced me to so many wonderful people.

But of course... I me'd it up. 😎

I've become obsessed to an egregious degree with the perception of my handling of this challenge. I want everyone to feel as though their sim gets enough screen-time, I want everyone to feel that the creative effort they put into submitting their sims was respected, and I desperately don't want anyone to feel left out or as though they're being ignored in favor of other contestants. It became so much less of telling Dan's story and journey, and all about how I was appearing as the Master of the Game.

And to be honest, my obsession with "staying relevant" in the fast-paced scroll of the Simblr Dashboard, believing you all would stop caring or stop reading if I didn't post as quickly as possible, was my own doom from the start, fkdfdjk.

In my life, I've had countless opportunities to turn my life around and start changing for the better. And time and time again, the energy that could have gone toward improving my situation or bettering my relationships has gone toward Simblr, and this online environment. I have practically no life beyond the screen: my days off are spent taking screenshots or spending four hours on builds that I still won't finish, obsessed over every angle, desperately seeking out that ~sparkle~ of simplicity and not-trying-too-hard I apply to all of your screenshots.

I am a dopamine and serotonin fiend, and though I can pinpoint in my life where trauma and isolation has pushed me to my online spaces, I was hyper-aware of the reality that in a few years, I won't be involved in Simblr. I won't be posting constantly, I won't care about the mods or the updates or the custom content.

And the stories I've written will be monuments to the time I've wasted, working on chasing the serotonin monster instead of bettering my own life and my own situation.

And now, I've got a real chance to do something better with my life. My fiance and I are at a crossroads of choice - we can change our lives for the better this year, or we can accept that the years of inaction we forced ourselves into out of the fear of moving forward have doomed us to a life we're not happy with. And I am one stubborn bastard when it comes to giving up.

The friendships and connections I've made here are some of the most meaningful in my life, and I hate that I've pulled back in the way I have. Along the way, it became much more about the notes, the numbers, the interaction, the reblogs over likes - and I lost myself and my friendships to my own mismanagement of my time and energy. I could spend five hours on one build, going from 7am to 12pm in a lightning speed of disassociation and obsessive Alt-clicking, and at the end of the day sit there and go...

What the hell have I done today? I could have messaged someone, I could have chatted with my friends, I could have done something. But no, I built a science lab, or a date location, and fretted the entire time until my stomach felt sick that it just "wasn't right" or wouldn't "look the way I wanted it to" in my screenshots.

I deeply, deeply love my stories, and I am so proud of them and what they've done for y'all and how you all have enjoyed them. I am incredibly lucky for the experience I've had on Simblr, and I know that there are plenty of blogs out there that sit with little interaction when they deserve so much more.

And yes, I will admit. The tendency of a 15-minute slapped together CAS edit of mine getting more notes and spotlight than the posts of my stories I've put legitimate effort into has fucked with my brain.

Simblr has changed from the story-laden place it was when I was following y'alls stories and legacies from 2015 onward. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Online spaces shift and change just as much as the social media sites like TikTok and Instagram, that go through trends and phases and fads and memes the same way we do. We are not above other social media in that regard, and I think there's a general sense from Simblr that we're some isolated island; we don't follow trends, we don't have fads, we don't have audio trends that get slapped on every other six-second video.

But I will raise you the Blender Phase and the Edit Phase as evidence every time.

I need to take some serious introspection time, and commit a lot of my energy to things that can bring me positive change outside of this online space. I hope to be able to come back as a better, healthier person, but to be honest, I don't really know when that will be. (Even this post is something I feel I have to do to be responsible, not just disappearing in the middle of this Challenge, leaving you all hanging djfh) I hope this doesn't come off as some high-horse rant, or leave a sour taste in y'alls mouths.

I just... I'll really miss this space. I'll miss the sims, I'll miss you guys, I'll miss your posts and your legacies and your sense of humor. I want to thank so many people, but I don't want to tag you all and shove this post into your activity streams dkfd.

I can't give any commitments to appearing more in Discord or even being present on this space - I've gone to the point of disconnecting the Chrome browser that's for rainymoodlet from my main icon bar, like I am going straight cold-turkey. I'll still be playing Sims, but I'm going to try and reconnect with it for myself - not for the screenshots, not for the stories, and not for the desperate want for people to understand what I'm posting or for it to make sense or satisfy, dfkj.

I am so, so incredibly grateful for every single one of you, and I hate to just drop this out of nowhere. But I need to do this, for me and for my future. And now I'm just sitting here like "Shannon, it's simblr, fucking chill." dkjfd I JUST... this space has done so much for me, and I genuinely feel a sense of loss in leaving. Especially in the middle of a story, fkgjfkg.

I really do genuinely love and care for you all. Please take care of yourselves, okay? Mama Shan does genuinely want the best for you, and I can't thank you enough for letting little old dorky ass me be a part of your community and your lives.

'Til next time, y'all. I'll see you soon. 💛

#txt #this will be my new pinned post.#going to go lay down on the floor for a long time now.#i feel sO SICK FUCK.#i really will miss you all so much. but i need to do this. it's like cigarettes at this point. if i don't go cold turkey... i won't quit.#i'll keep stressing abt how i'm not posting kmik or how i'm not interacting or how people are waiting and it will keep #affecting how i choose to spend my time and energy #and i just can't afford that anymore fff.#but ofc my blog will still be up!! you can still read kmik and my tjolc and everything i've posted #because gdi my contestants put a lot of effort into their sims and they deserve it #i hope i can come back to y'all in a better place 💛#2024 IS THE YEAR OF CHANGE MY DARLINGS AND I ALREADY WASTED JANUARY SO LETS GOOOO

116 notes · View notes

buckyalpine · 1 year

Note

Hi sweet dolcezza (that is Italian and means sweetness so sweet sweetness :) )

Hope you are doing well, I want to thank you again for your beautiful blog and wonderful works.

I am reading the last things you posted, beautiful as always!

Since I live for the drama, the sadness, the darkness...

I was thinking about how a broken boy with traumas, Bucky 🫢, would react about his girlfriend having mental health problem.

Maybe she has been developing them...

She wasn't always like that, she lost her sparkle and he doesn't know her like this, he sees another person, another woman, another human.

He can't understand and is confused, maybe mad.

On one side I think about him being supportive, on the other I think about him being disrespectful and invalidating, like he had lived major traumas but, he says "he is not complaining so much about it or playing the victim" like her.

-I had this hint because my mental health is not good, I have severe OCD, since I was a kid basically I remember being this way since the age of five four. I am struggling with ed and borderline personality disorder.

And I had partners that, even if they lived traumas, still invalidated mine a lot and called me names, so the were basically toxic.-

And i can't picture where Bucky could fall. Toxic? Supportive?

I love him, but sometimes he acts shady and not always I can read him.

I see him dark most of the time.

But they can always repair the relationship and be together or not?

(I am problematic with toxic guys ahahahaha)

Sorry for this and my life story, noone asked about buy still. I just think you are the best person to write something as deep.

I really hope you are doing good and enjoying your day so far.

A lot of kisses and hugs and support.

🌺

18+

Babes we are one in the same with toxic men. I like to think there's the version of Bucky who has so much love and empathy for others going through mental health struggles and then there’s the Bucky who loves you but doesn’t know how to process things and acts impulsively. Here, we look at the second.

Warnings: Angst, Mental health issues, some toxic behavior, (happy ending, they learn to fix things)

Disclaimer: Some of the stuff in this fic are things I/others have gone though so please refrain from comments about why the reader stayed or what the reader should have done or how the story should have gone. Sometimes I get super sucked into the angsty parts and struggle to undo the damage so don’t read too much into it.

I imagine it starts off bad because Bucky's still learning to deal with his own mental health and there are times where he can be selfish without meaning to. He's so used to having you comfort and take care of him, he doesn't know what to do when you start to change. He’s been through so much, he can’t imagine someone else feeling his level of anguish.

You’re no longer the same person he fell in love with. Your sparkle is gone. A grey dullness encasing you. He doesn’t know when things changed or why but he just wants you back; the distance between you both gets worse with each passing day. You try your best to still be there for him because you know he needs it; you love him with all your heart even when your own feels heavy.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"I’m fine"

Bucky practically scoffs when you ask him how he’s doing because you should know he’s never fine. He’s never okay. He doesn't know why you bother asking him when its the same shit he deals with on a daily basis.

You can't bring yourself to tell him how you're feeling because you know he doesn't have the capacity to help you when he's struggling himself. He shrugs, not knowing what else to say, letting you wallow in your misery, taking his frustrations out during his workouts instead. Things continue to worsen; you fall deeper in your spiral while Bucky continues to shut you not, realizing it’s you who needs him.

“Can we talk?”

You’re desperate at this point, hoping maybe he’ll at least listen but he shakes his head instead. Bucky can’t stop the bitterness that starts to rise in his chest; he missed his ma, his sisters. His missed living in a world where he understood the things around him, where he didn’t have to feel like a lost toddler every time he stepped outside. His feelings have nothing to do with you, he really does love you but all the bitterness spills onto the one person who is always there for him.

“What’s the point y/n”

“I-I just feel...” You shrug, not knowing how to tell Bucky of all people that you felt empty.

“What do you feel. I don’t know what you even complain for”

“I feel like I have no one Bucky” You felt your stomach drop when his eyes bore into you, as if he's challenging your feelings.

“You still have your cousins, other family, friends. You complain so much but you’re so spoiled. I’m going through shit too, but you don’t see me acting like a victim”

You swallow the anger that tries to rise, trying to understand his point of view. It all comes to a boiling point because you're trying your hardest to hold it together while he doesn’t see your spiral break down. You felt your heart splinter; after every time you had held him, loved him, cared for him, he looked at you with emptiness.

“Bucky, I know you’re going through things-

“Things? You think I can just turn this fucking shit off y/n? I’m not fucking normal, and you’ll never fucking get it. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you, I’ll stay at Steve’s tonight”

He makes his way to the door and you know you can’t be alone tonight, there’s too much going on inside.

“Please don’t” your voice is a plea, your practically begging at this point. You can feel your throat tighten because you feel selfish for struggling when he’s been through so much worse.

“Bucky please stay” you trail behind him, your knees shaking. You try to tug at his wrist but he doesn’t let you. When you finally try to cling onto his arm, his composure breaks.

“GET OFF ME” he pulls out of your grasp, sending you stumbling back. He’s usually mindful of his strength but he doesn’t think and you lose your balance, ending up on the floor. He freezes in utter disbelief with himself, he’d never in a million years even try to hurt you.

“Fuck, baby I’m so so-”

“Don’t”

Your eyes are now stone cold, your voice was low. He tries to help you up but you scramble away from him, adding distance between you both. He takes a step forward again but something isn’t right, he finally sees how broken you look.

“Y/n….”

“GET OUT”

Your voice tore through the walls and his eyes are wide with fear because he's never seen you so broken. He’s never heard you raise your voice like this; you’d always spoken to him softly. He’s scared because he didn’t mean to push you to your breaking point and he doesn’t know how to take it back.

"I-"

“GET THE FUCK OUT”

You pick yourself off the floor, your heart beating through your chest. You practically see red, after everything you had done for him, he called you selfish; you sat through every one of his panic attacks, his depressed days, his nightmares. He couldn't listen to you for one night.

"You fucking piece of shit"

You angrily tried to wipe your face, moving away from him to pack a bag, not wanting to be near him for a minute longer. You go straight to your room while he runs after you, panic rising, he wants to cry but he can’t, not right now.

“Doll I’m sorry-

“I don’t care” You rummage through some of your belongings, feeling yourself go numb. You felt like your mind didn’t even belong to you anymore, your body moving in autopilot. Bucky hates the vacant look on your face, he wants to hold you and tell you he’s sorry. He tries to wrap his arms around you, not knowing what else to do but you shove him away, shaking your head.

“Don’t-don’t touch me, don’t ever fucking touch me again”

He watches helplessly when you rip yourself away, shoving a few things into your duffle bag, not meeting his eyes.

"I-I don't fucking love you, I-I'm d-d-one with you"

“Baby please don’t go”

“Oh, so when you beg, I have to stay?” You scoff, letting out a humorless laugh “Fuck off”

He’s terrified now because while your movements are robotic, your body is shaking and you don’t even seem to notice. Bucky hates seeing you trembling; you’re about to leave the room and walk out but he stops you.

“Bucky, move” You suck in a breath, your nails digging into your hands, but he stays rooted in place.

“No bubba”

“Don’t call me that” Your voice trembles, another surge of anger flowing through you when he tries to reach out for you. “I SAID DON’T TOCUH ME”

He pulls you to his chest and you try to rip yourself free but he doesn’t let you go.

“LET GO”

Bucky shakes his head, hugging you tighter, his tears dampening your hair. The screams and wails ripping from your chest burn his insides, you desperately try to escape but he cradles you closer.

“M’sorry”

“L-let me g-o”

“M’sorry baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He doesn’t care that your hitting his chest, he doesn’t care that your hands keep striking him. He can feel your body give way, your breaths uneven, months of pain spilling out all at once. He hugs you tighter like he should have done ages ago, realizing you needed him more than ever. Your body continues to fight but your angry screams turn into pained sobs.

“I’m so sorry my babygirl”

He carefully carries you to the bed where he can hold you in his lap. He tries to think of what you do for him, warming your body, rubbing his hands along your back and arms. He feels awful because you always take such good care of him and he was grasping at straws trying to do the same for you. You deserved so much more.

“Shhhh” His lips brush against your forehead, one hand gently rubbing your chest while the other continues to soothe your back so he can regulate your breathing. “Slowly baby, breathe with me, okay?”

You say nothing, but you try to follow his breaths, letting him take care of you. He continues to tell you how much he loves and cares for you, how sorry is he for hurting you. Exhaustion takes over and you allow yourself to fall asleep with him. A part of you is still angry but your too weak to move and you need to be held.

You wake up in the middle of the night feeling his chest tremble against you. His soft sniffles are muffled as he tries to keep his cries down while cuddling you close.

“Bucky?” You lift your head to see his broken expression.

“I’m s-sorry” He chokes out, breaking down. He feels selfish again because he should be the one comforting you but he was angry with himself. “I-I can’t believe I hurt you angel”

You move up so you can wipe some of his tears, his face puffy having cried for hours through the night.

“I just needed you” You gently your fingers through his hair trying to calm him down.

“I-I said shit I never should have said baby, I’m sorry. M’sorry sweet girl”

“Why did you say those things” you whisper, your voice still hoarse.

“I’m so sorry angel, I- there’s not excuse, I’m sorry I was so selfish doll”

You nod, still feeling drained though a part of you feels better. You hadn’t fully forgiven him yet but you knew he meant every word plus there was no one else in the world you loved as much as him. He thinks about the way he mistreated you, realizing he really didn’t deserve your forgiveness at all. Your words replay in his head and his breaths become shallow.

“Do-do you not love me anymore?” His voice is a broken whisper. You knew you didn’t mean it. The thought nearly kills him. He would have gone through hydra again over ever losing your love. Your thumb brushes over his lips silencing him.

“Please don’t say you don’t love me” He nuzzles himself further into your side, hugging you tightly, his voice a whimper. “Please, I’m sorry”

“I was just angry Bucky. I love you” He calms down slightly but hes still on edge with himself. He wants to do better. He wants to take care of you. You had been there through everything for him and you deserved the same love a thousand times over.

“I promise I’ll try harder angel”

He stays true to his word.

It doesn’t resolve overnight.

But he learns. And so do you.

He’s patient with you. He gives you endless love. He has his own hard days, and so do you but your by each others side through it all. He sees your sparkle return brighter than ever,

Because he really does love you.

Tags:

@glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @carrotfantasimp

587 notes · View notes