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theitgirlnetwork · 6 months

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Chapter 8: Future Stuff

Note: Hellooo! Thank you all once again so much for all of the love I'm getting on this story. Everyone is so sweet I could actually throw up so thank you. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. All of the reblogs, notes, comments, messages really motivate me, and I'm so thankful. It's so fun writing this. The only warnings are implied sexual content and strong language but MDNI fr fr. This story is not for the children. Alsooo, I think I figured out the tag list situation, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So its down below, anyone else who would like to be added, please let me know <3

Taglist:

@th3h0nkz @yezzyyae@comeonatmebruh

Ian and Mickey stare forward at the TV as Lip continues to bounce his leg and blow a cloud of smoke into the air. Mickey irritably fans the air in front of him, cutting his eyes to Ian who silently pleads to him not to say anything. A few more seconds pass and the cheap couch continues to rattle and Mickey gets fed up.

“Fuck! Gallagher, go, don’t go, cheat, don’t cheat, we don’t fuckin’ care!” He yells, ignoring Ian’s glare. “I mean, I’ll fuckin’ tell the princess in a heartbeat, but you sittin’ hear, shittin’ your pants over a phone call is makin’ me wanna kill you.”

“Fuck off Mickey.”

Mickey turns to the blond, only to have his boyfriend place his hand on his chest, shoving him lightly into the other direction, gesturing for him to go upstairs. Ian huffs as Mickey flicks him off before storming up the steps to his room, taking his beer with him.

The redhead sits back down next to his brother, sighing as he opens his own drink. “Are you gonna?”

Lip looks up, hand buried in his hair for probably the fiftieth time that night. “Gonna what?”

“Cheat. On Charlotte with that old bitch Helene.”

Lip shakes his head quietly, taking a drag from his blunt before passing it over to Ian. “No.” he sniffs. “And uh, Helene didn’t get me kicked out, alright?”

“Okay.” Ian shrugs, grabbing the blunt. “But she didn’t help.”

“Nah.” Lip nods, blue eyes surrounded by red, bloodshot from the lack of sleep he got over the past few days. “She didn’t. But uh, she didn’t say much on the phone. Just that she needs to talk to me. Figured I should see what it’s about. Not a big deal.”

“Is that why you’re pullin’ your hair out and hotboxin’ our living room?” Ian asks, releasing the smoke from his nose. “Did you tell her?”

“No.” Lip sighs, scrubbing his hand down his face. He reaches over and snatches the blunt from Ian before he could take another pull. “And you won’t either, alright? It’s not a big deal and I’m just gonna tell her to fuck off. Don’t need to freak Bunny out for nothin’.”

Lip had been lamenting over Helene’s call for the past few days.He’d gone silent on the phone in shock when she confirmed it was her and was even more surprised when she asked to meet with him to discuss something. The last time he’d talked to her, she’d ended things and ignored him while he screamed and pleaded for her back outside of her house. It was fucking humiliating. He wanted to show her he was better now. He wanted to show he wasn’t some desperate loser and he didn’t fucking need her, her leaving didn’t fucking faze him.

He knew he could do that and stay loyal to Charlotte.

But apparently Ian and Mickey had no faith in him. He didn’t know why he fucking told them in the first place.

Maybe because he’d hoped it would help get rid of the rock in his stomach he felt every time he spoke to Charlotte and didn’t tell her his sort’ve ex/professor had hit him up to meet.

Lip is used to the feeling of guilt and shame, it comes with the Gallagher territory. A low hum of those two feelings stay with them always. But this feeling was worse. It was loud and aggressive. It was pounding in his ears each time his girlfriend’s sweet voice came through the phone. So, he already felt like shit. He doesn’t need Ian and his cling-on fucking riding him.

“Doesn’t seem like it’s for nothin’ Seems like somethin’ she should know.” Ian shrugs, snatching it back.

“Yeah, just because you’re Mickey’s bitch, doesn’t mean I’m Charlotte’s. Alright? I’ve got it-”

“Fuck you.” Ian frowns, shoving his brother, looking affronted when he shoves him back.

The two boys begin pushing and shoving at each other, standing from the couch to get into each other’s faces. Voices raising and carrying throughout the house. The front door swings open and a tired Fiona storms through, Liam in her arms, shoving between the two of them. “Uh uh, I just worked for 8 hours with no break while tryin’ to watch Liam. I do not come home to you fighting.”

The older girl places Liam on the steps, patting his back and telling him to go upstairs and wait for her to tuck him in. She turns back to her other brothers, watching them glare at each other. “What the fuck is the issue?” Lip clenches his jaw irritably, looking away from his sister. He knows that Ian isn’t going to say anything and he does not feel like hearing Fiona bitch about Helene or make some smart ass comment about him already fucking up with Charlotte. “Fuck, fine, whatever. I don’t care what you have going on, Christmas is in two days, you’re not gonna fuck up the vibe in the house for Carl, Debbie and Liam. And make sure you have your shit together on the gift front.”

Ian pushes past Lip, knocking his shoulder and heading toward the stairs, “I’ve got my shit covered.”

Fiona watches him go up the stairs before looking back to Lip with an expectant expression. “And you?”

The blond huffs out a breath, “I’m handling it.”

And at the time, he really thought he was.

“It was really nice to see her.” Charlotte smiles, pouring water onto one of the plants on her parent’s patio before moving on to the next. The other side of the line is quiet and she pauses in her motion, pushing her phone closer to her ear. “Bub?”

“Huh?” there’s shuffling on the other end of the line for a few moments before the sound of her boyfriend returns. “That’s good, bunny.”

The woman rolls her eyes, setting down the watering can onto the table and pulling out a seat to sit in. “You’re not listening, Phillip.”

“Yeah I am.”

“Yeah? What’d I say.”

He hums for a moment before raising his voice lightly, attempting to mimic hers. “Phillip, I miss you so much, I can’t wait until I can see you again and climb on top of your big, hard-”

“Yeah, I don’t talk like that. That must be your other girlfriend.” She laughs. Charlotte waits to hear the deep chuckle that she’s grown to love and is only met with awkward silence. “Phillip?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve actually got to go.”

“Oh.” Charlotte frowns, biting at her thumbnail nervously. She doesn’t like the sound of his voice. He’d been being weird for the last couple of days and she didn’t know where it was coming from. Was it because of that one phone call? Was it too much? Too little? Did she do something wrong? The reasonable side of her told her that the distance might be just getting to him. Their relationship had started with her leaving for an undetermined amount of time. They began with a goodbye, it definitely was wearing on her, it would be reasonable for it to be affecting Lip as well. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later? And um, please remember to get the presents I got for everyone out of my room at V’s okay? S’not much-”

“Okay, so uh, you’re definitely not gonna be back for Christmas?” he asks.

Charlotte sighs, leaning her chin on her hand and toying with the fabric of her shirt. “I dunno. M’sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll call you later. Bye, baby.”

As the line goes dead Charlotte groans to herself. As much as she’s enjoyed being home with her parents, she was starting to get antsy. Putting aside how badly she misses Lip, she misses everyone else and her freedom too. Being back in her parents home made her feel like a child again, unable to make decisions about anything. What time to wake up, what to eat, what to wear. She needs a break from her break.

And honestly, she wants the chance to take her new relationship seriously. And she can’t do that while they’re however any miles apart.

Settled into her new resolve, Charlotte pushes out of her seat and opens the screen door to her house. She looks around the lower level, finding that no one is there and heads up the stairs to look for her mother. She finds her mother in the office and knocks on the heavy wooden door before entering. “Hi, Mom.”

Charlotte’s mother looks up from her laptop, pausing to push her glasses up on her nose. “Hi, honey, what’s up?”

“Um,” Charlotte shifts on her feet uneasily, running a finger along the paint on the door frame. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Lip takes a deep breath as he stands outside of the café, pocketing his phone as he weighs out the different ways this scenario can play out in his head.

Best case scenario, he goes in there, Helene looks fuckin’ awful, he tells her where she can shove it and maybe throws in a picture of his new sexy ass girlfriend that he’s fucking obsessed with, conveniently leaving out that he’s unsure if she’s ever coming back to Chicago.

Worst case scenario, she looks amazing, he doesn’t even get to mention Charlotte and this was some kind of sick test that he failed by showing up. His girlfriend emerges from some back room or something and dumps him on the spot for even showing up to talk to his ex. And she…he doesn’t know, starts fucking Helene’s husband or something.

That last part can’t happen. Lip is pretty sure he’d kill him.

Another minute passes by before he decides to finally go into the shop. Quiet, boring cafe music is softly playing and the smell of coffee fills his nostrils.

“Lip, over here.” a voice calls over to him.

Lip follows the voice over to a table in the left corner of the restaurant and finds Helene, seated, already sipping a coffee, an untouched mug on the opposite side of the table. He makes his way over and slowly slides into the seat opposite of her. “Uh, hey.”

The older woman offers him a kind smile, drumming her fingers on her cup. Lip absently notices that her wedding ring is not on her finger. “Hi. How are you?”

He looks up, dragging his eyes away from her hand. “Fine, I uh, can’t complain. How have you been?”

“Overall I’ve been well.” Lip nods quietly at her response and starts scanning the room, looking everywhere but her. He hadn’t accounted for this being so weird. A couple beats pass before she speaks again. “Okay, well I think we’re a little too familiar for this to be so uncomfortable. That coffee is for you by the way. It’s black with no sugar the way you like it.”

“Actually,” Lip cuts in, glancing down at the cup. “I don’t take it like that anymore. I, uh, like it sweeter now.”

Helene’s eyebrows shoot up, “Oh. Okay, we could send it back-”

“Nah, I’ll drink it.” He shrugs, trying to hide his grimace as the bitter liquid fills his mouth, briefly wondering how he used to chug this shit when he was with her.

“Okay.” Helene shifts in her seat a little, leaning forward. “Tell me what else has changed since we last spoke.”

Lip licks his lips, looking around before letting his blue eyes land back on her. “I uh, left school, or they kicked me out for something…unrelated. So yeah, I’m working. Moved back to Southside.”

“Do you like what you do?”

“It helps pay bills. Nothing in my field but, it works.” he shrugs again. “Are you, uh back at the school?”

Helene smoothes her left hand over her hair, and his eyes drift back to her empty ring finger. “Yes, I’ve returned as an adjunct, but they’re keeping a close watch on me so you can understand that’s a little bit awkward. But um, I’ve been working through some things since the last time I spoke to you-”

“Right, that was a contingency for you to get your job back, right? The therapy?” Lip bites. He doesn’t know where the comment comes from but he shocks himself and Helene.

“Yes…it was. And I think I owe you an apology.” she says softly.

Lip sits up straighter in his seat. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, I should have spoken to you, and allowed you to explain what happened. I requested for you to communicate and exhibit maturity throughout our relationship and didn’t extend the same respect to you.” Helene waits for Lip to react, to accept, say something, but all he offers her is another quiet nod. “I’ve learned I have a habit of having high expectations for what people should do for me and very low tolerance for error. It’s likely what caused this relationship to fail and certainly what ruined my marriage.”

The blond looks up at that, immediately alerted by the news she’d snuck into the conversation. She’s divorced. She’d gotten divorced. Despite the fact that he was refusing to acknowledge it, back when they were together he used to dream about it. The day she said fuck her husband and left him completely, chose him entirely. On darker days when he would watch her climb out of bed to go find her spouse, or see them kiss especially intimately in front of him, or she would leave to shower with him just after she and Lip had sex, he would think about how happy he’d be if the older man just disappeared. Went missing. Dropped dead, he didn’t fucking care.

But the knowledge now that Helene was single brought Lip no feeling at all. He’s shocked at how numb he is to the news. “I’m uh, sorry.” he offers awkwardly.

“I’ve made my peace with it. Now, I’m trying to make my peace with you.” she smiles, placing her hand on top of Lip’s across the table, smoothing her thumb on his knuckles.

“Oh, shit-” he jolts, taking his hand back and feeling himself turn red as the table rattles at his jerky movement. “I actually have a girlfriend. And we’re…monogamous.”

“Oh.” Helene sits back, seemingly startled by his very large reaction before adjusting herself. “I’m sorry, well congratulations. Who is it? That mousy girl who is fascinated with posting pictures of other people’s naked forms?”

Lip doesn’t bother offering her a fake laugh, instead choosing to open his phone and show her his favorite picture of him and Charlotte together. It’s one that Ian had taken at the Alibi when Lip had been pretending to teach her how to play pool to both get close to her and piss off Kev as the girl bent over the table in front of him. The picture perfectly captures Charlotte’s pretty smile and reminds him of when she was close enough to touch. He holds his phone up for Helene to see and watches the woman’s expression. “This is Charlotte.”

Her face is unmoving as she looks at the girl. “Well, I suppose it’s double congratulations. She’s gorgeous. Is she in school?”

“Um,” Lip takes the phone back and pockets it, “No, she just moved here. She’s working at a restaurant for now, saving up money. I’d have brought her with me but she’s visiting family back where she’s from.”

“And where’s that?”

“Virginia.”

Helene hums, lifting her coffee to take a sip. “That’s far.”

“772 miles.” Lip sniffs, leaning back in his chair. “But she’ll be back.” As he says it his brain wonders if he’s telling Helene or reminding himself.

“I see. And it’s serious?”

That question gives Lip pause. Because is it serious? He can acknowledge that when he first saw Charlotte he hadn’t hoped for much more than getting her prissy ass into bed and then doubling back once in a while, but not frequently enough for her to get attached. Her stubbornness and Mandy’s existence put a little wrench in his plans but he’d always liked a challenge. But after a while, it was more than that. He’d fucked around and learned things about her. Charlotte is sweet, kind, and funny. She makes him relax and feel less fucking irritated all of the time. She makes him feel needed without making him feel trapped. She cared about his interests, making him happy. His family. She’d made his life better in such a short period of time.

“To me.”

Helene nods, offering him a soft smile. “I can tell. It’s the look in your eyes. It’s different now. A good different.” she lets out a sigh and places her cup down again. “Well, I’m happy for you. Though I came here to tell you I miss you and apologize, I also wanted to make up for the part I played in your education ending early.”

“It was unrelated.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t help.” It’s good that she knows that, he thinks. “I want to offer you an internship, not with me, but with a research center I collaborate with. They were looking for someone with an interest and background in science and technology and I immediately thought of you.”

“You didn’t think of one of the hundreds of people majoring in that at the university?” Lip scoffs.

“I didn’t used to sleep with them.” she jokes, rolling her eyes when Lip appears unamused. “I’m kidding. I truly believe you’d be a good fit for this.”

“Look um, like I told Youens, I can’t really afford to work for free right now, I understand you guys say it’ll lead to something-”

“It’s a paid internship, Lip.” Helene cuts in. She observes the young man, watching as the wheels turn in his brain as he tries to think up more excuses as to why he can’t accept this opportunity. She grabs her purse from where it is hanging on the back of her chair and pulls out a card, placing it down on the table. “Look, I have another meeting to get to, but this is a really good opportunity, if I were you I’d take it. Work in your field and make some decent money. Serious relationships aren’t as free as we’d like them to be, you know.” she says, nodding her head toward the pocket where he’d placed his phone. Helene stands, walking past, briefly placing her hand on Lip’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’d only have to see me around sometimes, we’d be in different departments.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.” He says, grabbing the card.

“Good. Give my regards to Charlotte will you?”

Lip sits quietly as the older woman leaves the cafe, attempting to process what just happened. He looks down at the card one more time before shoving it in his pocket and standing to leave himself, mumbling under his breath, “‘Give my regards’ to my fuckin’ girlfriend. Like hell I will.”

“Okay, Liam, open this one next.”

Lip stands with his arm around Fiona as they watch Debbie help Liam open her present with a bright smile on her face. It’s tradition in the Gallagher household. For the whole month of December, the older three kids hide all of their money that they earn, same as usual, and put it toward the rent and bills. They work extra shifts at their jobs so that Carl and Debbie don’t have to chip in for the month, that way they can get each other and Liam presents. The older three also use anything they have left over to get each younger kid an additional gift. Finally, being the two older siblings they are, sometimes Fiona and Lip scrape together a little something extra to try and get something for Ian. This year, Mickey was here.

At first Lip had found the male Milkovich’s damn near constant presence in their home irritating, but he made Ian happy, and more stable so he tolerated it. As more time went by, Mickey became part of their routine, helping out, hanging out, pitching in money, and then Lip didn’t mind him. But now, watching the fucking thug who’d threatened to bash both his and Ian’s faces in not long ago for one reason or another roll his eyes and pretend to be in different as he offers a messily wrapped army knife to Lip’s younger brother, blushing as Ian pulls him into a brief kiss, Lip thinks he might not hate having him around. Maybe even likes it.

“Who wants eggnog?” V calls as she carries the pitcher into the room, balancing a stack of empty cups in her other hand.

“Me!” Carl calls trying to snatch a cup, groaning when the woman pulls it away.

“Sorry, who’s grown and wants spiked eggnog?”

“Fuckin’ me.” Lip grunts, pouring a glass full and taking a long swig. He’d been in a shit mood all day. Watching his younger siblings open their gifts made him feel a little better, but he’d been hoping that Charlotte would be home by now. It’d been weeks since she’d left and he was starting (had been the whole fucking time) to worry that she wasn’t coming back. He couldn’t imagine that the short time they’d gotten together before she left was all he was gonna get. But then again, that was just his luck.

Fiona’s eyes land on V, a small smile on her face as she widens her eyes in silent communication. Her friend rolls her own in response, nodding exasperated, and nudges Kev. “Huh? Oh.” the man leans down and takes Liam from Debbie and lifts the boy’s bottom to his nose, sniffing his nose. “Um…Lip, man, I think Liam took a shit.”

The blond’s brows furrow as he takes another sip of eggnog. “So change him?”

“He’s uh, not my brother.”

“Oh, for christ sake,” Fiona snatches Liam back, smiling at the little boy’s giggle and shoving him into Lip’s arms. “Go change him will you?”

Lip narrows his eyes at his sister before sighing out a ‘whatever’ and taking the boy, blowing raspberries against Liam’s cheek as he makes his way to the steps.

As they get to Liam, Carl and Ian’s room Lip starts undoing Liam’s diaper, holding the clean one under his arm. “You having a good Christmas buddy? Huh? Is it fun? Should we play in the snow later?”

“Lip!” the boy claps, kicking his legs, antsy.

Lip frowns in confusion as he finds a completely empty and clean diaper as he looks down at his brother. “The hell? What’re they talkin’ about? I knew you didn’t stink to me. Maybe it’s Kev, huh?” he coos, buttoning his brother back up. “Maybe he’s the one who took the shit.”

The blond fumbles around in his pocket and pulls out his phone, figuring hearing his girlfriend’s voice might put him in a better mood. “Should we call Charlotte? We miss her, don’t we buddy.”

“Lottie!” Liam screams, kicking more, giggling loudly.

“Alright alright, keep your pants on, she’s my girlfriend, kid.” He jokes, dialing her number. The phone rings once before going to voicemail. “And I guess she’s busy. That’s okay, buddy, she’s probably just enjoying Christmas with her parents.” Lip reassures, unsure if it’s for Liam or himself. He grows even more irritated at the painful ache that forms in his chest at the thought that he won’t be hearing from her at all today. He’d called twice earlier too, only to be sent to voicemail twice.

Hoisting the little boy up, Lip jogs back down the stairs, bouncing his brother as he goes, slowing to a halt when he enters the room and everyone seems like they just rushed back to their seat. “Why the fuck are you all being so weird? And he didn’t shit.” He says placing his little brother into Carl’s arms and going to sit again.

“Wait!” Fiona calls out, fighting back a grin. “Don’t sit down, you have to get your present now.”

“The fuck? You got me a present? Why? We could’ve used that on one of the kids-” Guilt floods him as he thinks about the fact that he hadn’t gotten Fiona anything.

“Will you stop being such a prick and go get your present? We left it in the kitchen.” Ian interrupts, kicking at Lip’s leg. “Go.”

“What would you even get me-” Lip pauses as a thought crosses his mind. But no. No, that’s not it. It’s no fuckin’ way. He lets his eyes trail over to V who offers him a small shrug before nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen. “No fuckin’ way.”

Lip all but sprints into the kitchen, ignoring his family’s laughter when he trips a little over the leg of the coffee table and again on one of Liam’s singing toys as he swings into the room.

“Hi, boyfriend.”

And there she is. In the flesh. Bouncing excitedly on her feet once, twice before squealing and jumping into Lip’s arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Lip catches her easily, wrapping his own arms around her waist and squeezing tightly as he buries his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Charlotte, what the fuck?”

“Merry Christmas.” she chirps, putting her legs down and pulling back slightly, Lip follows suit, holding his arms around her loosely but refusing to fully let go.

“Yeah it fuckin’ is.” he breathes, tugging her forward into a kiss. He feels like his eyes could fucking roll back in his head. It feels so good. Touching her. Feeling her touch him. Kissing her soft lips. When he finally lets her up for air he leans his forehead against hers, matching her smile with his own. “Merry Christmas, Bunny. Uh, thanks for coming back.”

“What?” the girl scoffs, reaching up and tugging the hair at the back of his head lightly, “Are you joking? I had to.” she leans forward, rubbing her nose against his. “You’re here.”

“Fuckin’ missed you, baby.” Lip connects their lips again, hand cupping her cheek to guide her into a deeper kiss as he walks them until her lower back hits the counter.

“Alright, lovebirds, enough of that, I only promised Fiona I’d give you two minutes, it’s been five and a quarter.” Kev calls from the other room.

Lip pulls back again, letting Charlotte walk ahead of him as he rests his hands on her shoulders following not far behind as they re-enter the room. He watches as she greets all of his siblings, hugging Debbie tightly and kissing Carl on the cheek. Tickling Liam and placing him on her lap as she leans into an embrace from Ian before Mickey reaches over and pinches her cheek.

She’s back. She’s actually back. Lip didn’t realize how little hope he’d had that she’d come back to him until she’d actually done it. She was here, in his living room, with his family. With him. And the room feels like it has oxygen in it again. He only lets the thought of how scary it is that he feels like he’s breathing for the first time in weeks pass through the front of his head for a moment, though it still rings pretty loudly as he pushes it to his subconscious.

Hours later the two older Gallagher siblings are cleaning up after the holiday mess. Charlotte had offered to help the younger kids to get ready for bed while Ian and Mickey went to spend some time with Mandy so she wasn’t by herself on Christmas. Kev and V returned home after being over all day, Charlotte promising to spend all day the next day with them, and them giving in with very minimal complaint when she and Lip asserted that they’d be spending the night together.

Fiona eyes her brother as she scrubs a dish clean, watching as he continuously looks over his shoulder up the stairs. “Just go. I’ve got it.”

“Huh?”

“Go be with her, I can handle clean up, if anything you’re slowing me down, checkin’ every two seconds to see if she’s comin’ down.” She laughs, wiping hair out of her face with her forearm.

Lip chuckles too, putting down the drying towel and squeezing his sister;s shoulder. “Thanks, Fi.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t be loud, I don’t need any of the littles gettin’ traumatized on Christmas.” She says, placing a clean plate on the rack. Fiona turns to catch her brother before he heads up the steps. “Hey, she’s a good one. And this…this looks good on you so…don’t Gallagher it up.”

Lip pauses, thinking back to the card in his jacket pocket and the call he’d made earlier that morning. “I won’t.”

Charlotte turns as the door to Lip’s room creaks open, a wide smile spreading across her face as her boyfriend enters the room. “Hi.” she whispers.

“Hey.” he repeats back softly, closing the door quietly so as to not stir his younger siblings. Lip glances down on the floor at the discarded clothes and mess, and tries to kick it aside as he makes his way over to where Charlotte is standing. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Neither can I, if it was up to my dad I would’ve never come back out here, but Mom took my side.” she meets him the rest of the way, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulls her in by her waist. “Missed you. But, it was good to see them. Any updates here?”

Lip has to force himself to look away from her big, brown, expectant eyes. He absently thinks to himself that he’d forgotten how hard it is to be a piece of shit when she’s aiming her soft, affectionate looks at him, as if he was something good. But despite the fact that this surprise was literally all that he’d wished for, he hadn’t had time to prepare to tell Charlotte about Helene or the job. He could already picture the doubt that would form on her face as he told her that he’d be working in somewhat proximity to his professor that he’d fucked for several months, convinced himself he was in love with, and briefly attempted to stalk. He can’t even picture admitting to her he’d gone to get coffee with her.

But the alternative isn’t much better. Having Charlotte look up at him with that wide-eyed, starry look, rose petal lips smiling brightly at him. Showing him that fuckin’ dimple. And all of that being fake? Lying to her face? He couldn’t imagine being able to sleep, sure he can lie on the phone, but holding her afterward is a whole different ball game.

So Lip chose the only intelligent option.

Half stories and fuckin’ deny, deny, deny.

“I uh, got a new job, a paid internship. I’ll get to work in science which is cool.” he says dismissively, moving down to kiss her when she stops him.

“What?” she squeaks, smile spreading even wider. “Phillip! That’s so great! M’so happy for you, bubba!” she says bouncing where she stands and clapping her hands together. “We have to celebrate! We…we should go out some night this week. Like, get dinner or go to a bar or…” Charlotte pauses, the look on her face changing.

“Or…?”

The woman leans forward then, kissing Lip’s nose, cheek, and jaw before dragging her way to his neck. Lip groans, mumbling a ‘fuck’ under his breath as Charlotte presses open mouthed kisses down his neck, tugging aside the collar of his shirt as she moves to the top of his chest, rubbing her hands along his abs.

It feels good. So good, her soft hands pushing his shirt out of the way. Her lips dragging along his skin. He was immediately hard, clenching his jaw in focus as he watches his sweet girl drop to her knees in front of him, looking up at him through her long dark lashes as she began to pull his belt from its buckle.

Lip’s dreamed of this shit. Hell, he came to this thought for almost all of the nights she’d been gone.

But there’s this fucking nagging thought in his brain. Fucking telling him over and over how he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve his beautiful, sexy, kind, loving girlfriend. He doesn’t deserve her using her money she saved from her job to take him to the fucking Chicago Sciene Institute Museum. He doesn’t deserve her begging her parents to let her come back to this shithole so they can give their relationship a real try. He doesn’t deserve the way she looks at him.

He damn sure does not deserve to have his dick that he used to put where the fuck ever in her mouth.

“Baby, baby, wait-fuck-” he hisses as her hand pauses as it wraps around him in his boxers. “Shit, um, I don’t think we should do this right now.”

Charlotte immediately retracts her hand from him, placing them both in her lap as she sits on the floor looking at him. “Oh. Okay, did I hurt you…or like…do something you didn’t like?”

“No, no you’re” Lip joins her on the ground, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing her palms repeatedly. “Perfect. You’re perfect. It’s me, I’m just…” he hesitates, wracking his brain for an excuse and also cursing himself for quite literally talking his way out of getting his dick wet. “Don’t wanna traumatize the kids on Christmas you know? Plus uh, we should probably wait for a time Carl isn’t home. Did you know he has a crush on you?”

Releasing a nervous breath Charlotte relaxes again, giggling. “Oh yeah, I kinda got that when I was walking up the street one day and he tried to get me to ride on the handlebars of his bike. He tried to push up on his tip toes and whisper ‘wait for me, baby girl’ in my ear.”

Lip chuckles, moving to sit on his butt slowly, silently willing his erection to go down and leaving his arms open for Charlotte to sit in his lap. “He’s a Gallagher, it comes with charm.” he pokes the dimple in her cheek, jolting her in his lap lightly when she snorts. “What you don’t think so?”

“Please, Ian and Liam are carrying the family name on their god damned backs.” she jokes, leaning her head back on his shoulder. “Mm and Fiona, she’s got game too. Pretty sexy.”

“Yeah? You think my sister’s hot, why don’t you go downstairs and sit on her lap, huh?”

Charlotte turns a little to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “You think she’ll let me?”

Lip’s mouth falls open for a moment before he lets out a breathy laugh of disbelief. “Fuckin’ brat, okay, up you go.” he grabs Charlotte at her middle, pushing off of the floor and putting her over his shoulder before dropping her softly on to the bed, climbing over her and pinning her to it. “Went to Virginia and lost your fuckin’ mind. It’s funny?” he says lowly at her giggles, leaning down closer to her face. “You know what’s funny, Bunny? I still have your Christmas gift.”

Brown eyes go wide and immediately Charlotte is giggling out apologies. “Wait, wait, stop, m’sorryyy.” she hiccups as she continues to laugh, Lip’s fingers tickling her sides. “I want my gift!”

“Ask your girlfriend.” Lip jokes.

“She’s busy-” she whimpers, yelping when he intensifies his fingers movements. “You’re my boyfriend! Sorry! Please!” she laughs, kicking her legs. “Pleaseee” she pouts up at him between unhinged squeals and laughter.

Lip stares down at the beautiful girl beneath him and can’t help put give her what she asks. Placing his hand loosely around her neck, he pulls her up to meet him halfway, pressing their lips together in a deep, brief kiss. “Need to remember who you belong to, brat.”

He grunts as he pushes off of the bed and goes to his larger dresser, easily pushing the heavy furniture slightly away from the wall and opening what looked to be a small door to a non-functioning vent. Charlotte sits up on the bed, brows furrowing as she watches her boyfriend pull a huge jar from the opening in the wall behind his dresser, miscellaneous pieces of money, change and what appeared to be checks at the bottom. The jar wasn’t very full, only making it to the first little ridge at the bottom of the jar. As he moves closer, a serious look on his face, Charlotte immediately begins shaking her head. “Phillip you better not be trying to give me money.”

Lip places the jar on the floor in front of her before taking a deep breath and sitting next to her on the bed. “No, I’m not. Or, not really. You remember how my family has the Squirrel Fund that we hide from Frank, so we can pay our bills and eat and shit.”

“Yeah,” Charlotte says softly, eyeing the jar. “I told you before I left that I think I should kick some money in if I’m gonna sleep over.”

“Yeah, over my dead fuckin’ body.” He dismisses. “This is…uh, shit this is embarrassing. I didn’t think about that part, it’s fuckin’ stupid.”

Charlotte watches as her beautiful boyfriend turns a pretty shade of pink as he stares at the floor. She slides her arm under his, intertwining their fingers and grinning when he brings his always intense blue eyes up to her face. “Go ahead, bub, I’m not laughing.”

“Shit, fuck it, okay.” he sighs. “This is the Bunny Bank.”

Charlotte’s mouth opens and closes again as she struggles to follow. “Bunny like me, Bunny?”

“Uh, yeah. I um, started to set aside money to put in this jar I fuckin’ found when you started talking to me again after that Mandy shit because, I dunno, you said we’d start hanging out and I started thinkin’ I wanted to take you to nice places. You deserve to go to nice places.”

“You,” Charlotte tilts her head to look at him better. “You started saving money to take me on dates when I was still friendzoning you?”

“Yeah?” Lip shrugs, laughing to himself softly. “I knew that I was gonna keep trying and I guess I wanted to be ready when it started working. But uh, you beat me to the first date thing, huh?” he says, smoothing his thumb over her cheek.

“You deserve to go to nice places too.” she says in a small voice, leaning into his hand.

“Well, I started putting more in there over time, and uh, you know, one day I’m gonna fill it. And we can use it on dates. Or get you a nice gift like I dunno, a purse or somethin. Or we could…” Lip looks at her intently, scanning her face. “We could save it. Put it toward, you know, future stuff.”

He damn near cringes as he waits for her to pull away. Lip fully expects for Charlotte to recoil away from him, for her to wake up the second he mentions the future and remember that she’s way too fucking good for him. Hell, he’s never even thought beyond fucking a girl for a couple months outside of Karen, and even then, what he felt was nothing like this. She was like a toxic friend that he was sexually attracted to. And even with her he didn’t plan. She was satisfied with a couple of free beers and a quick fuck in the bathroom at the school. Lip knows that shit isn’t good enough for Charlotte. And he’s learned in his time with her that he wouldn’t want her to settle for that.

He wants to be able to provide things for her, beyond a decent date once every couple of months. That’s why he started the pseudo bank and that’s why he has to lie to her so he can take this job. It’s for her.

But he knows this is fast. Just because he can see a future with her and his feelings hit him like a fucking truck doesn’t mean she feels this way. She has a nice home away from here. She’s accustomed to nice things and guys who don’t have to take a chunk of their check and save it up to give them to her months later. She should know that she can do better, laugh at his pathetic attempt at romance and walk away. Tell him she’s not some chick from the hood he can impress with a free popsicle, his quick wit and good looks.

Lip is fully prepared to backtrack what he said, saying that any mention he made of the future was a fucking joke and distracting her by eating her out or something. But he doesn’t get the chance.

He watches in awe as Charlotte reaches down her own shirt, digging in her own bra and producing what appeared to be two twenty dollar bills, folded up and warm from her skin. Manicured hands drop the money into the jar before the girl places her hand back in his, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Charlotte nudges Lip’s arm with her own, and looks at him as if he fucking hung the moon and stars. “I like the last thing. Let’s save it. For future stuff.”

Lip doesn’t even get a chance to stop it. He doesn’t know if it's the confirmation that she sees a future with him too, now matter how long that is. Or maybe it’s the pretty way she’s staring up at him or him still reeling from the fact that she’s here. Or the fact that his pretty little prissy thing literally just produced forty dollars from her bra for them to save as a couple. Hell, he thinks it's probably all of it. But it comes out like fuckin word vomit.

“I love you.”

#oc #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #kevin ball #lip gallagher #lip gallagher x oc #lip gallagher x reader #shameless #veronica fisher #gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #charlotte fisher #phillip gallagher

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mlm-writer · 10 months

Text

The Sorcerer Supreme, the Devil and Six Men (M!Reader x Multi)

Pairing: Cis!M!Bottom!Reader x Ray Palmer (LoT), Dick Grayson (my version), Peter Parker (TASM), Skurge (MCU), James T. Kirk (AOS), Lucifer (Lucifer) & Chris Smith (Peacemaker) Rating: Explicit Words: 2066 POV: Second Summary: Uhhh gangbang to save the multiverse and reader is Sorcerer Supreme of his universe. Note: Something I kept from last kinktober to really sit down for it. Tags: Multiverse gangbang, creampie, cum swallowing, light cumplay, blowjobs, double penetration, spitroasting, anal fingering, handjobs and some grinding.

Even if you would explain how you got yourself into this situation, you doubted anyone would believe you. You clenched your hands in the silken sheets below you, when Lucifer added a third finger to your hole. He stilled them inside you and ran a hand down your bare back. “Relax, my darling, I need to have you properly prepared for when our guests arrive.” You huffed and folded your arms in front of you so you could rest your forehead on them.

“If you ask me, it’s pretty pathetic that the devil himself cannot give me enough sexual energy to save the multiverse,” you quipped, before shifting a little. Your cock was leaking all over the pillow Lucifer put under your hips. Lucifer chuckled and curled his fingers inside you. “Hey! No cheating!” You cried out as he rubbed that spot he had gotten to know all too well. You never should’ve started a situationship with the devil, but frankly being the sorcerer supreme from a universe where jackshit happened could be very boring.

Just as Lucifer was about to make another smartass comment, a portal opened in front of you. You wanted to cover yourself, but Lucifer was ahead of you, draping a thin blanket over you below the waist, before sitting up on the bed. First to come through was Skurge, donned in his full armour. “Behold! The Sausage Party!” He announced, before extending his arm. Coming through were four familiar faces and one boy-scout looking man. His whole body language screamed ‘I am highly uncomfortable.’

“So which one of you do we need to stuff full of cum?” You lifted your head and snickered at the blunt question. Even though this Chris Smith was not from your universe, he had the exact same mannerisms and almost the same funny outfit as the one you knew in high school. Here was to hoping he could fuck like the Chris you knew as well.

The other guys looked embarrassed at the question, with one of them even slapping Chris' arm. Even with his mask on, you recognised the face of the one who got away anywhere. You had always wished Dick Grayson and you had lasted, but the situation back then did not allow for it. Lucifer probably knew that, hence why his alter was standing before you now, clad in a tight suit that left little to the imagination, as he reprimanded Chris for his bluntness. If he was anything like your Chris, that slap did nothing to correct his behaviour.

“As far as the gentleman explained, you should know everyone but me,” the boy-scout looking man said as he walked closer. His face was flushed, eyes avoiding yours. You took the hand he offered and shook it. “Ray Palmer,” he introduced himself. You studied his face, noting the pale skin that turned red so easily, the dreamy brown eyes and pullable-looking chestnut hair.

He tried to take his hand back, but you held onto it. “And why are you here mister Palmer?” You questioned, fingers rubbing over his skin. From this close you could see his cute features in more detail. He looked around nervously and then muttered something under his breath. “When you’re in the presence of the Sorcerer Supreme, you should really speak up,” you teased him.

“Yessir, I’m sorry uh…” You took mercy on him and let go of his hand. He straightened his back and looked around the room again. The portal he had come through was no more; he had nowhere to go. “You see it started with…”

“He is the cause of all this, now let’s move on, before the multiverse is literally torn apart, shall we?” Lucifer interrupted.

“Let’s commence!” Skurge shouted. Somehow he managed to get all his armour off without you noticing him undressing, his heavy cock hanging between his legs and swinging with each step he took towards you. Ray took a step aside, face red like a tomato. You reached out for Skurge’s thick cock and guided it towards your mouth. You looked over at Ray as you sloppily started licking and sucking on Skurge’s tip. When your eyes met, you gave the pale man a flirty wink.

Skurge was very vocal, praising you for your skill with comical lines that made sucking him off harder. You then felt warm hands at the edge of the blanket that was pooling at your waist. You looked over your shoulder right into bright blue eyes and a dashing smile. Oh you and James T. Kirk had your adventures in college. “May I?” He whispered, leaning close to tease your lips with his. The brief brush was enough to make you want him all over again.

You let out a soft sigh before turning your head back around to suck Skurge off. “Do whatever you want to me, Jimmy boy,” you spoke breathlessly, before trying to take more than just the tip in your mouth. You heard Lucifer offer Jim some lube, after he had slowly dragged the fabric off your body. Jim put his cock between your cheeks, rubbing his slick cock between them and over your hole.

You lifted your head off Skurge’s cock. You kept jerking him off as you turned your head to the side. You saw Dick Grayson on his knees, suit open a little so he could stroke his thick cock, while sucking off Peter Parker. “Hey Grayson! If you want to save the multiverse, his cum should be mine,” you scolded him.

Dick chuckled, even when Chris shoved his cock in his face to get a turn too. “Just warming them up for you, sweetheart, don’t fret,” the man replied, before trying to deepthroat Chris’ huge meat. You rolled your eyes and went back to trying to do the same to Skurge. He stretched your throat, while Jim teased your hole. You heard Lucifer giving that Ray Palmer a warm-up, but Skurge was grabbing your head and using it like a fleshlight, so you could not watch. He held you down, cumming deep down your throat. You swallowed it all.

You gasped when Skurge pulled out. You only got two breaths in, before Jim pushed deep inside you. You moaned, the sound growing louder when Chris grabbed your hair and tilted your head back. You stuck your tongue out as Chris stroked his cock right above you. Dick must have warmed him up good, because Jim did not even get to speed up, before Chris was spilling his load directly onto your waiting tongue. “Don’t swallow yet,” Dick told you as he shoved Chris to the side. A few seconds later, Dick’s load joined Chris’ in your mouth. Before you could swallow it, Peter was stroking himself in front of your face too. His hair was dishevelled and he looked down at you with reverence.

You struggled with breathing as your mouth was full of cum and your ass full of Jim’s dick. You almost choked on the cum, when you felt a finger join Jim’s cock in your ass. “Lucifer, please, it’s tight enough,” Jim groaned as he continued fucking you at a leisurely pace. He was no longer being slow for your comfort, but he also wasn’t pounding you yet.

“Get used to it, captain. Doctor Palmer would love to join you,” Lucifer mused. You whined, not sure if you dreaded having two cock in your ass or if you needed it on a spiritual level. Dick put his hand over your mouth, before telling you to swallow. It was hard with the way your body rocked and how aware you were of the cocks that just shot their load in your mouth but were still rock hard.

Once your mouth was empty, Dick bent down and kissed you. You moaned into his mouth as Jim's cock and Lucifer's fingers were stretching out your ass. When Dick pulled away, you protested, but then a hand rested on your throat. "Just say stop if you want me to," Dick whispered in that soft, husky tone that made your cock weep. His fingers found their place and he pressed down, limiting the blood your brain was getting.

Things got a little blurry from there. You tumbled into subspace, everything hazy and pleasurable and amazing. As if you were under a spell, your body relaxed and before you knew it, you were on your back, lying on top of Jim, while Ray's cute face hovered above you, both their cock stretching your ass open. Dick was beside you, hand on your throat and stroking Skurge with his free hand. Hands were all over you, one of them belonging to the devil scooping your cum off your stomach and massaging it into the flushed skin of your cock.

Ray did not last long. Your hole was too tight for two cocks and when Lucifer used your cum to stick a finger inside him, it was over for the boy-scout. Through the haze of pleasure, you heard him shout. You mewled as Chris was being especially rough with your nipples, pulling and pinching. After Ray pulled out - spent - Lucifer joined Jim inside you.

You gasped at the stretch, not knowing whose cock entered your mouth as soon as it was wide open. It didn’t matter. Your ass was stretched to the limit. Your throat was full of cock as well and you still felt the gentle pressure right below your jaw. You didn’t stand a chance against another orgasm coming over you like a wave crashing on the shore. To make matters worse, a pair of lips wrapped themselves around the tip of your cock, sucking the cum out of you and not letting go until you were crying from overstimulation.

The cock in your throat spilled more cum inside you, before pulling out. You then saw it was Peter all along. You wouldn’t have guessed by how innocent he looked right after violating your oesophagus. You could not dwell on that thought. Dick came into your line of vision and his hand moved from your throat to your cheeks, forcing your mouth open. He spit your cum onto your tongue, then commanded you to swallow it.

You were no longer capable of thought, swallowing any cum that landed in your mouth, even Jim’s, who bred your hole and right after put you in Lucifer’s lap so he could fuck your throat, giving you a good taste of your own ass and the mixture of cum that was in there right now. You lost track of who was releasing their load when and how often in which hole; it didn’t matter.

By the time the men were spent, your cock was limp and incapable of getting hard again for a long time. The haze of pleasure slowly cleared from your brain as Skurge forcibly removed Chris from the premises and back into his own universe. You scrunched your face, then looked up at who was holding you like a baby. Bright blue eyes and a gentle smile looked down at you. You smiled back and leaned your head against Jim’s shoulder. “How do you feel?” Jim almost whispered. You looked around, noticing how almost everyone looked like they ran a marathon naked. Dick gave you a dopey smile from where he sat on the floor sipping on a bottle of water. Ray was the only one wearing underwear, which you noticed when he came up to you to offer you a bottle as well. You thanked him and took it. You moved off Jim and sat up, so you would not spill it everywhere.

When the exhaustion settled, Lucifer approached you in full suit with an outstretched hand. “Shall we?” He offered with his signature smile. You handed Jim the bottle and gave a nod. You stood up, feeling cum dripping down your legs, but also the energy you have been given coursing through your chakras.

“Let’s end this,” you spoke with determination, before you took the devil’s hand. A portal opened in front of you. A skimpy outfit that barely covered you up and definitely did not hide the cum stains drying on your body materialised on you. One last deep breath and Lucifer led you through the portal to your destiny. Let’s see what the sexual energy of the sorcerer supreme, the devil and six men could do.

____________________

IF YOU ENJOY MY WORK AND WANT TO TRICK ME INTO WRITING MORE, REBLOG. THAT IS HOW YOU KEEP BLOGS LIKE MINE ALIVE. (and you get a mental kiss on the mouth if you leave a comment too, even if it is just WDNIEFBEILFWEIDJ)

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moodymelanist · 7 months

Note

Hi! Nessian Kinktober time is my favorite. I can see them with a strong breeding kink with lots of dirty talk. Love your work!

happy celebrating the best time of the year 😏 hope you enjoy this one!

TW: breeding kink, dirty talk, pregnancy imagery

When Cassian had approached Nesta about trying something new in the bedroom earlier in the afternoon, she hadn’t expected to like the idea of it so much. She certainly hadn’t expected to end up face down and ass up on their mattress with her boyfriend fucking her like both their lives depended on it.

Then again, it was them. She didn’t know why she was surprised.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Cassian groaned from behind her, his grip on her hips so tight it was almost painful. “So perfect for me.”

Even though she was already two orgasms in, Nesta’s body lit up like a Christmas tree at his words. “Cassian…”

“Gonna keep being good for me, sweetheart?” he asked without missing a beat. At her frantic nod, he added, “Gonna let me come in you?”

“Yeah,” she managed to get out. She had an IUD, so the chances of her actually getting pregnant were slim to none, but that didn’t stop either of them from enjoying this as much as they were. “God, please, yes, I want it—”

“Yeah?” he replied, panting a little. He slowed down his short, hard thrusts so he could grind deep inside her, shifting his grip on her so he could splay one of his large hands across her stomach. “Gonna let me put a baby in you?”

“I want everyone to know I’m yours,” she told him with a loud moan. She couldn’t stop picturing how good it would feel for anyone to know by just looking at her that she was already spoken for. “That you filled me up.”

“That I filled your greedy little pussy up,” Cassian corrected, grinding his hips hard against hers. It was a filthy reminder of how hot and huge he felt inside her, and she loved every second of it. “Come on. I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you to…” Nesta trailed off as Cassian began fucking her again in earnest, her body going haywire at the sensation of him thrusting in and out of her. He felt so good inside her that it was all she could do to finish her train of thought. “I want you to fill my greedy little pussy up.”

“That’s right,” Cassian growled, leaning down so he could talk right into her ear. The force of his thrusts made their headboard slam loudly against the wall, but she was too far gone to care about what their neighbors might be thinking. “So full of my come you can’t even walk. Is that what you want?”

“Yeah,” she moaned. It felt dirty in the best of ways, and she wanted more. “Want it to be dripping out of me.”

Cassian groaned. “I’m gonna fucking pump you full.”

“Fuck yes, come on, give it to me,” Nesta begged, clenching around his cock. She could tell he was close and she needed to feel him filling her up in a way she’d never felt before. “I need every last drop.”

Cassian shuddered as he finally came, thrusting as hard and deep inside of her as he could manage. He slumped against her for a few seconds before he rolled off her, pulled her close, and gave them both a chance to catch their breaths.

“Jesus,” Cassian said after a few minutes, laughing softly like he couldn’t believe what they’d just done. Nesta could relate. “I guess we can add that one to the good list, huh?”

“I think that can be arranged,” Nesta said back with a sated smile.

#acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #moodymelanistwrites #anon asks #acotar kinktober #kinktober #Nessian prompts

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echoes-in-blue · 7 months

Text

Mark Hoffman x Original Character AU - Canon Divergent Story. +18 Readers only.

Summary: What if Mark always had someone behind the scenes, watching his back and helping him out. What would happen after his death and resurrection? When lovers become partners in crime, there will be no stopping their revenge. Tags: Dom/sub, breath play, teasing, language, dirty talk, restraints, spanking, knife play, fear play, injury, gore, violence Notes: This story is fan fiction derived from the universe of the Saw movies and takes place at the end of Saw VI, diverting the canon from there and adding in a bit more of a Hoffman backstory. If you aren't fond of this idea, then feel free to skip. This story is not meant for anyone under the age of 18. Read at your own risk.

Chapter One: Backup Plan

“If you don’t hear from me, by midnight I need you to open this envelope.” “And if I do hear from you?” “Burn it, like the others.”

Typically, when he left things like that, he did contact her before midnight. It was funny to her that he believed she had no idea what he was doing or where he was going. At first, it hadn’t been so obvious but over time it became clear. Possibly because she was an FBI agent and a profiler. Did he underestimate her ability to figure it out or was he with her because he was very much aware that she knew who he was and what he was doing. The fact that it turned her on even though it shouldn’t and she was just as aware as him that she’d never turn him in. They were in love and had been since well before he’d become the Jigsaw apprentice. Things had only gotten more intense since that point. It was never explicitly stated between them what he was involved in but that didn’t matter. He knew she knew. It was why sometimes when he returned home he still had blood on his clothes, his gloves that gripped her chin so firmly. Forcing eye contact to make sure she knew her place. Sending chills down her spine into her very core, leaving her unable to deny how much she wanted him. He knew that too.

That night, though, it felt different. The way he told her the instructions. Almost as if he knew that something wouldn’t go right. She wished he’d tell her more, or at least let her help. The thing was that not speaking of these things in detail gave her the plausible deniability she would need should he get caught. The first person they would go to was his wife. Much like they had gone after Jill Kramer. The less she knew, the better she’d be able to fake it when they came around to interrogate her. No matter what, she’d never throw him under the bus. It wasn’t that she was blind to what was wrong with the situation but she could see, through his eyes, why he did what he did. As someone who worked in law enforcement herself it was easier to justify handing out such punishments to criminals who had skirted the law and never learned the value of their lives or impact of their behavior.

She couldn’t pretend like there weren’t suspects, perpetrators, and guilty men and women she had to deal with every day who she’d like to see maimed in one of those traps. She’d insinuated as much when she could get away with it. While watching the news, making sure to mention to him that some people just deserved what they got. It was not the correct stance for her to take as an agent of the law but nor was it correct for him as a detective so at least they were on the same page.

As she sat there, the clock ticking down, she realized that he had not contacted her. No text on her phone. The one she had as a burner just for these messages from him. It hadn’t rang either. The midnight hour drew closer, and closer, and when the old clock in their penthouse chimed twelve she knew for the first time she was going to have to open that envelope. It was something that excited her as much as terrified her because she didn’t know what she would find. Obviously, she was the failsafe in all of this and since she was a forensic psychiatrist that also made her a medical doctor. He had her as a life preserver because she could preserve life. She’d treated his wounds before when he couldn’t properly seek care for them lest they raise suspicion with local hospitals as to how he’d gotten them. As an heiress, she had connections and money to buy or find anything he could need to treat and hide the injuries until he was good as new. They were a perfect team because between the two of them they could get rid of anything that they didn’t want seen.

From the hidden safe in the wall she removed the instructions packet and opened it up. There she found only one thing. GPS coordinates. There was no explanation otherwise. Though he was smart enough to know that she would be aware that this place that he wanted her to go to was dangerous. Not that it mattered, since she always carried her weapon with her now thanks to being an FBI agent. She punched the coordinates into the burner phone and came up with a location. A warehouse in the middle of nowhere just about. Outside of New York City where they lived, near some docks in New Jersey right across the bridge. As far as she could tell, the property had been previously owned by John Kramer. Hopefully, she wasn’t walking into a death trap, nor would she arrive to find Mark’s dead and dismembered body somewhere on the premises.

“I may hurt you but I will never harm you, do you understand the difference?” He asked as she sat there, hands cuffed behind her back to the post of the bed that they shared. The concept of the dom/sub relationship was one she knew plenty about academically since she worked in sex crimes but she hadn’t put it into practice herself. They’d discussed it here and there but he knew more than she had. Especially that she was ready to start. “Look at me, Leila.” He put his fingers under her chin to lift her head up, forcing eye contact between them.

“I understand, sir.” She said, “Hurting means pain and temporary suffering but harm would be permanent and detrimental. I trust you not to harm me. I trust you with my life.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asked quickly pulling a knife from his pocket to flick the blade up and brandish it within her line of sight. “It could be a foolish decision if you aren’t absolutely sure of what you are saying.”

“I know what I am saying and I know what I want.” She confirmed. He smirked and licked his lips slowly. Bringing the blade down he started to cut away the buttons of her blouse one by one until it fell open, exposing her bra. Then he brought it back up to cut the bra between the cups, splitting it to reveal her breasts. Her heart fluttered in her chest. The adrenaline rush combined with the arousal and the idea that she was completely helpless to his every whim was overwhelmingly erotic. Slowly, he ran the blade over her right breast to where her heart would be positioning the tip there to press into the skin enough to cause pain but not actually pierce it.

“I could kill you, if I wanted.” He said.

“But that isn’t what you want.” She replied. He smirked, sliding the knife over her skin enough to leave a scratch but not a cut until he got it to her jugular, resting the blade there where she could feel just how sharp it was against the vital area.

“What I want is for you to never know what I may or may not do but trust that ultimately this is a game we play and you will not come out of it harmed. As I said before.” He moved the knife from her neck to her lips, pressing the flat of it there. She looked at him, kissing the metal that she was presented with. He laughed softly and folded the blade into the handle before slipping the knife back into his pocket.

“So you want me to be afraid?”

“In a sense, yes, but I want you to trust me as well. Expect the unexpected.” He smirked and then pulled her into a hungry kiss.

She took care to be sure that no one had followed her where she was going. It wasn’t typical that anyone would follow her but she knew there were some eyes on Mark so that meant it was possible that people had eyes on her as well. When she pulled up to the place she found that it was indeed a warehouse. Hopefully, it was not one that involved any of John or Mark’s games. Though she could deal with dead bodies, gore, and mutilation since crime scenes were part of her everyday job, she did not want to leave any evidence that she’d been there. If that were the case. From her back pocket she pulled out a pair of gloves and slipped them on before grabbing onto the handle of the sliding door in front of her. Amazingly, it wasn’t locked, but she knew that potentially could mean bad news as well. She only opened it enough to look inside and then enter before shutting it again. The area was dark but not pitch black and in the back she could see a light, kind of in a corner.

Pulling her gun, she headed in that direction as quietly as possible, also making sure she wasn’t accidentally going to touch trip wires or step into a trap. This place had to be rigged with them. That much was obvious. She could see all sorts of things that would constitute as evidence from all of the Jigsaw games. When she got closer to the one light that was on she looked through one of the nearby mirrors to see if she could spot anyone in the room as she paused and held her breath. There was a groan and she turned her head towards it. In the corner she saw Mark holding a blood soaked wad of fabric tightly to his face. Holstering her gun, she hurried towards him and got down by his side.

“Mark, what the hell happened?” She asked. He looked at her, his eyes kind of glossy. There was no way he hadn’t lost a lot of blood but he was still conscious so that was good news in itself. Slowly, he pulled the fabric away from his face to show her that half of his cheek was split open. “Shit. We need to fix this.” He nodded, it was clear why he hadn’t called out to her when she’d arrived she doubted he could do much but groan and scream in that condition. She hurried to look through the warehouse to find something that could stitch his face up. The sooner the better. If he showed up at a hospital like that then he’d be caught immediately. There weren’t any real medical supplies in there, not any that would help with this specific injury but she did manage to find fishing wire and a hook. She could close up the wound and worried about infection later. It wasn’t like it would be hard to get antibiotics. Bringing the supplies over to him she got down and threaded the line through the hook.

“This is going to hurt a lot, but it will save your life. I can get you antibiotics after if you need them.” She said as she reached to pull his hand away from his face again. He let out a small groan and almost the moment she touched the hook to his skin he yanked away. “Mark, this has to be done now and…what happened to your hand?” She had only just noticed that it was broken, she could see bone.

“I can do it.” He said, or more accurately she was sure that’s what he meant to say with a huge flesh wound in the side of his face. If he had survived this far he probably could stitch up his own face, she didn’t doubt that.

“It will be faster if-”

“I’ll do it.” He snatched the hook away from her and very carefully got to his feet. She sighed, knowing there was no way to stop him from doing something he was determined to do himself. He hobbled over to the mirror she had been looking into before and pulled the lamp closer to it. Then he took in a deep breath and started to stitch up the wound in his face.

“Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you now?” He asked. This was after she’d been blindfolded in such a way that she couldn’t see anything. Usually, when people messed around with blindfolds there was a lot of room for error. Letting light in or the ability to look down and see shadows. She wasn’t surprised that he knew what he was doing when it came to this sort of thing. “Answer me.”

“Anything you want.” She replied, “Master.”

“That’s a good girl.” He chuckled darkly and patted her on the cheek. She sensed movement around her, first on the bed shifting and then some kind of fabric around her neck. It wasn’t rope, it was something else. Perhaps one of his ties. The weight of the bed shifted again and she was still left sitting there with her arms handcuffed behind one of the posts. There was a pause and she heard a click then felt the cuffs release. There was no moment to recover from this as she was immediately yanked down and out of the bed by the tie around her neck. She yelped as she fell to the floor, with hardly any time to brace for impact. Somehow, she did manage to catch herself but just barely. “Quick thinking, I like that.”

“Thank you, sir.” She replied. The makeshift leash was tugged on again forcing her to crawl forward a bit then another sharp tug indicated that she needed to stop. She could hear him as he walked around behind her then felt his hands on her hips as he shoved her skirt up to reveal her panties. There was the swish of the blade from the knife popping up and the sensation of cold metal against her inner thighs. She gasped, shivered, and groaned softly as he started to cut the fabric of them away.

“My pleasure is your pleasure, your pain is my pleasure, anything I want is for me. Anything you are rewarded with, is just that. You have to earn things here, understood?” He asked then without much warning gave her a rough slap across the ass. She squealed and then nodded her head.

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re a faster learner. I wonder what else I can teach you.” He said, sounding very amused as she felt his fingers between her legs moving over the wet folds of her cunt. She groaned, knowing she was far more aroused than she should have been given the situation. He continued to tease her perfectly, as if he were playing an instrument that he was a master of. Working her closer and closer to climax before pulling his hand back to give her ass another slap. This was done in such an oddly timed way that she could never predict it and threatened to drive her insane. She didn’t know how long he had kept it up before she lost enough control to scream.

“Please!” She yelled, “Sir…please…”

“Do you even know what you are begging for?” He asked, “Fucking tell me what you want, Princess.” She whined and lowered her head, it was humiliating and so very fucking hot to hear him speak to her like that. She licked her lips slowly and took in a deep breath through her nose, letting it out through her mouth.

“Your cock, sir.”

“And what do you want me to do with it?”

“I…I want you to fuck me with it.”

“Why?”

“For your pleasure, I…I’m your naughty little fuck toy and I’m only here to serve you.” She breathed, her heart pounding in her chest.

“That’s what I like to hear.” He chuckled and gave her ass another slap. From behind her, she sensed more movement until she could feel the tip of his cock rubbing against her cunt, teasing and touching in all the right places. As she was about to yell out again for him to just hurry up he thrust into her and she moaned loudly. She’d have collapsed forward except for the fact that he had grabbed the tie around her neck and yanked back, keeping her upright lest she wanted to choke. From there he started to pound into her with reckless abandon. Every so often the fabric around her neck would restrict her airflow then release again. When she could draw breath all she could do was let it out as a moan. He’d never been so primal and dominant with her before, they’d dabbled in it sure but it hadn’t gotten this far. She knew she was already addicted to this and would never want it any other way. “Are you going to cum for me? Huh? You naughty little girl…”

“Y-Yes…Yes, sir…” She panted, when he allowed her the air to do so.

“Go on then, cum all over my cock.” He growled. She moaned again, her eyes rolling back in pleasure as his words triggered her climax. He moaned then as well, almost louder than her. The walls seemed to shake with the passion of it and she could nearly feel it vibrating through her as she hit her second climax then a third. Suddenly, the leash around her neck was released. She fell forward, unable to keep her weight up any longer. Then he was on top of her, pulling her close to him as he moved them both onto their side. She could do nothing but lay there basking in the afterglow of her orgasm feeling the rapid beat of his heart against her back. She silently hoped she’d never have to face a moment where such a motion ceased to exist when his blood would eventually run cold.

“You did a good job.” She said, once he was finished working on his face. It was quite impressive actually. Using just that dirty old mirror and some fishing line. She didn’t think she could have done it to herself even if it also meant the choice between life or death. “I have a first aid kit in my car. I can use that to see what I can do about your hand.”

“Be quick,” He said, “I don’t suppose you brought any painkillers with you.”

“Nothing heavier than tylenol but you know we are well stocked at home.” She stroked the side of his face that wasn’t injured and stood up. “Why did you need me to come here, this does seem like something you could have handled on your own.”

“I could have.” He said, reaching out to take her hand with his good one. He gave it a squeeze, “But that had nothing to do with it.”

“Then what else could it be?”

“Things didn’t go exactly according to plan and I’m going to need your help.” He replied, “Get the first aid kit. I'll explain more when you get back.” She nodded, knowing that his immediate care took priority over something he could explain after. If he seemed to think there was time to sit and talk she wasn’t worried about that before making sure he was stable and in as good of health as he possibly could be. As she exited the warehouse again, to get to her car, the gravity of the situation hit her. She had to pause for a moment, catch her breath, and try to stifle the tears that were threatening to fall. In all of this time, though she’d seen him injured, she had never seen him come as close to death as that. She’d also never in her wildest dreams expected for him to say anything about his plans not going as he’d devised them. How bad was it that he wanted her involved? She didn’t know. What she did know was that if someone had done this to him with the intent to end his life, she wanted revenge. Possibly even more than he believed he did at that moment.

#costas mandylor #mark hoffman #horror #saw franchise #saw movies #mark hoffman x oc #mark hoffman fan fiction

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dsireland86 · 5 months

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There is Beauty in the Pain

Chapter 3 Pt.2

Summary: Noah and Sophie find each other in the most unprecedented circumstances. Whether it's the Universe, fate, destiny, or pure luck, they can't deny that their souls were simply meant to be

***Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse, language

TAGS: @lma1986 @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @missduffsblog

**if you want to be added to the tag list, let me know :)**

AUTHORS NOTE: Revised chapter. The old one was horrible.

--LINK TO CHAPTER 3 PT.3 AT THE BOTTOM--

I wish I could say the same about Sophie. She was broken. So much of life had been cruel to her and to see her the way she was now shattered what little hope I still had in humanity. It wasn't fair for people like her to go through the fucked up shit they were forced to and that’s why I had so many issues with God. If he cared, then why did he allow so much suffering?

Noah:

Early on in life, I came to terms with knowing all people have a darkness about them. A darkness so deep that it usually took someone or something to help them fight it because fighting it alone always ended in failure. But I was never meant to be that for anyone, instead I was the one always needing that someone or something and I found myself alone a lot because of it.The family we’d created during the whole set up and process of the band had become the only "real" family I'd ever known. Losing so much as a kid and having a lot of instability didn't make a great start to adulthood, but somehow, maybe because of God even though he and I had a lot of issues with each other, I managed to get by and succeed better than I'd dreamed when I was younger.

The silence that fell over the bar after Folio posed his question. "Were you raped," was so deep that if it weren’t for the pitiful sounds coming from Sophie I would have said it was deafening. While Alex held her, quietly telling her things were going to be okay and that she was safe, I started to wonder if he was right or not. Was she safe? Folio didn’t hesitate to help. I watched how he interacted with Sophie, loving cupping her face and raising it to look at her, gently drying her tears with his thumbs. Her shoulders relaxed as he spoke softly to her and whatever he said made her smile appear. He seemed to make her feel at ease; safe. I was floored by it all. It was a side of Nick that, in all the years I’d known him, never seen before, and I could tell by the looks on everyone else’s faces I wasn’t the only one surprised.

"Sophie wasn't raped; I'd know if she was," Alex assured Folio. “What do you mean you’d know? Has this kind of thing happened to her before?” His voice raised a little higher than he meant for it to, but if abuse was a common occurrence in Sophie’s life, then why hadn’t it been stopped? Neither one of them answered Folio so I took their silence as a yes and apparently he did too. He scoffed, taking his hat off and running his hand through his hair, his frustration very evident.

“So, this Perry, he’s your ex, right?”

“Yes, he very much is now,” Sophie’s nasally voice laughed nervously. “At one time we were together; happy,,” her voice tailed off. "They were together for about three years before he left for Germany. His job sent him there, right Soph?” Her head bobbed up and down. “Yeah, that was a little over a year ago. During that whole time, how many times do you think he contacted her?” Alex posed an odd question. What did it matter? “A handful,” I answered, shrugging my shoulders. He shook his head. “None.” My mouth fell open in shock. “What? What do you mean none?” “I mean none. Didn’t call her, didn’t text her; nothing.”

“So let me get this straight. You were in a relationship with this guy for over three years, and then one day he decides to just leave you or dump you to go to Germany and never speak to you again?” He looked at Sophie and Alex, expecting his understanding, and mine as well, to be correct. “Yeah,” Alex huffed, leaning against the bar counter. “Unfuckingbelievable. Why didn’t you call the police? Have his ass thrown in jail?”

“Because, Perry has certain guys on the police force that he's bought. He's kind of a powerful guy. No matter what he does; cheat, abuse, steal, do something illegal, he’ll always get away with it.” Alex’s face twisted into a disgusted look. It was clear he’d tried many times to help Sophie find a way out of it all, but it never made a difference.

“Yeah, I made the mistake of calling them the first time he hit me.” Sophie scoffed. “He was so angry at me; threatened me in all kinds of ways. It was the first time I questioned myself why the hell I was staying him. But by the next morning, he acted like nothing ever happened, but I was still really afraid of him. Out of the fear and love, or what I thought was love, I had for him, I stayed.” After giving Sophie’s hand a quick squeeze, Folio came and stood beside me, dragging a hand down his face.

"You good, man?" I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder. Nick closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them giving me a heavy look. He shook his head before walking away. Something was seriously up with him and I told myself I would find out later, but at that moment, Sophie needed my attention.

"Soph, do you think you can tell us what happened," Alex asked, wiping the dried blood in one spot and then moving on to another one. Sophie’s eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and I worried for her. She needed rest before she would pass out from the overwhelmingness of the last few hours. Her hand reached down for mine, and I gave it to her, sighing when I felt the warmth of her small one slip into mine, locking her fingers around mine. She was trembling. I was sure her body was still in so much shock.

Sophie sat down, letting Alex clean up her wounds with the stuff he had brought over earlier. Matt, Jolly, Nick, and I gave them some space, but I continued keeping an eye on them. "This is going to hurt like hell, but I've got to do it," I heard Alex tell Sophie. Sophie sucked in a tight breath and grimaced when he applied the cleaner to the deep gash on her cheekbone and the small ones around her mouth and on her cheeks as well. Her red, puffy eyes stared into mine, silently calling out for me to come to her, so I did. Kneeling in front of her I saw all the damage that had been done to her for the first time. It was rough. A dark bruise was forming around her left eye with colors of deep purple and blue covering the entire right cheekbone where Alex was cleaning. Welts from long fingers lightly covered her pale cheeks, the redness of them serving as a stark reminder of just how cruel humans could be to each other. It made me sick to my stomach, thinking about Sophie being in such a horrific situation and how scared she must have been. A strange urge to protect her washed over me, making me feel a little possessive about her.

“I left the concert as soon as I could to try and avoid the huge crowd. Thought that if I slipped out, I wouldn’t be stuck in a room packed with so many people who were drunk or at least nearly there.” Well, there was the explanation I wanted. I immediately felt like a fucking asshole for thinking and feeling all the things I did. She sucked in another breath as Alex moved on to the last cut, cleaning it just like the others ”When I got to my front door, I noticed it was unlocked and instead of calling you like I should've done, I decided to be the stupid head that I was and go in. I did have nine-one-one on speed dial, though.” She glanced at Alex who, by this time, was scowling at her, scolding her choice. Sophie shrugged her shoulders and continued. Folio returned from wherever he had retreated to, sitting down next to Jolly with another beer in his hand. His face was still grave.

“After a few moments of waiting, I assumed all was good until Perry came walking out of my bedroom.” “What the fuck was he in there for,” Alex snapped. He sat the bottle of peroxide on the counter and folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to. I’ll probably have to burn my bedsheets when I get back.” I chuckled, knowing what Sophie was implying. “Anyway, things were okay for a bit, but it didn’t take long for him to get all aggressive and controlling. He would calm down and put on this stupid endearing act that made me think for a second that maybe he was being honest, but then moments later he was right back to hurting me and I just hated myself more each time.”

My forehead creased. The motherfucker sounded like a literal psychopath that got pleasure out of hurting her. He was a danger to her and deserved to be locked up. “I don’t know what went through his mind, Alex. I mean, one minute he was apologizing and really thought we were getting back together, and the next, he was just cruel. couldn’t understand why I was refusing to start over with him.” Taking a moment to wipe her face, Sophie licked her lips and continued. “There was a moment between us, in my kitchen, where I actually thought maybe he was serious about his apology; he was so convincing. But then he shoved me, pushed me so hard against the wall that pictures fell and broke, and that’s when shit went downhill.” I laid my hand on her cheek, cradling the side of her face, grinning when I felt her press in on my hand. “I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive, Noah," she quietly confessed, bringing her hands up to wrap them around my arm. Her words almost made my heart stop. A hard pain hit my chest, making it seriously feel as if my heart was breaking. “But you did, Sophie,” I reassured her with a small smile. “You did, and you’re safe now; I promise.” She took a deep breath, wincing as she did, and nodding a little before closing her eyes and taking another one. “Alex. I can't… I don't want to…," but she couldn't finish her sentence without choking back her tears, trying to be brave. I moved, letting Alex take my place to console his friend, and went back over to the table where my friends were. “This is some fucked up shit, Noah,” Matt stated. I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. Folio sat quietly, jiggling his leg, staring down into nothing. “Hey,” nugging his shoe with the tip of mine.” He acknowledged, but didn’t look up. “What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?”Jolly asked, leaning in closer. “It’s nothing,” Folio sniffed. “I just a, I just don’t like seeing women get hurt like this; that’s all.” Jolly seemed to buy his excuse, but I didn’t.

No longer knowing what to say, think, or even fucking do, I dropped myself down in the chair next to Jolly, suddenly very exhausted myself. It was evident I didn’t need to get involved any deeper in the situation, and choosing to drag everyone in the room into it wasn’t a good idea either. But between Folio’s behavior and the unsettling feelings I had, it seemed that choosing to back out now was a little too late. Sophie stood up to stretch a little, wincing again. A slight cry escaped her mouth. “You alright,” I asked, concerned. She threw me a quick nod.

“You made me feel so special, Noah. Thank you.” She reached over and laid her hand on my chest, and out of impulse, I placed mine over it. The twinkle in her eyes made a lump form in my throat. The butterfly feeling in my chest wasn’t helping either. And fuck… the sound of my name falling from her lips made my cock so hard and twitch that I had to clench my legs together to control it. “Here Sophie, I brought you, oh,” Alex paused as he came up to us from the other side of the counter. I cleared my throat and stepped away, giving Sophie some space. Alex’s eyes bounced from me to Sophie, whose head was lowered. Alex grinned, handing Sophie the medicine and water, and I couldn't keep myself from staring at her, mesmerized by all that she was. Why was I suddenly afraid of leaving her? What was it that made the dreaded feeling sink to the pit of my stomach and scare me. And then it hit me. It showed when Alex said something that made her chuckle, and that genuine smile spread over her lips. It was that smile. The first time I saw it, I knew I wanted to see it for the rest of my life.

“Alex, I need tylenol or something. Can I get some with some water, please?” "Absolutely. I'll be right back." He smiled, walking away. Sophie turned her back to me and leaned against the counter of the bar. I walked over, taking a spot next to her. Neither one of us said anything at first. “I liked the way you flirted at the concert. It was cute.” Sophie said, breaking the silence between us. She turned and looked at me. “You have an incredible smile, Noah.”

Her confession made my insides want to explode, and I showed her that smile just because of the way she was making me feel. “Yours is just as infectious,” I admitted with my heart racing. We both went quiet again. “You know, whatever you felt back there, I’m pretty sure I might have felt it too.” Both of us looked at each other, eyes locking together. “When you came down during that last song and touched my face, it was like my whole entire world exploded. And when you came back out after the show was over and reached for me, I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.”

Sophie was such a simple, warm-hearted girl, and everything about her was beautiful. Being around her was like lying in the grass on a summer day or by a roaring fire when the snow was piled high outside. It made me feel peaceful. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt her. She made liking her, and quite possibly loving her, easy. Even though my body responded to her in a sexual way, my mind was attached to her for other reasons too, and now that she was under my skin, getting her out was going to be difficult.

The atmosphere relaxed a little, and I went back over to the table, striking up a conversation with Nicholas. My eyes may have been on Nick, but my attention was completely on Sophie. The longer she was awake, the more she looked like she would faint. Sitting my drink down, I began to make my way over to her as she stood up and her eyes met with mine. Trying to keep her balance, Sophie put her arms out beside her but couldn’t hold herself up any longer. Rushing over, I threw my arms out under her, catching her body as it fell into me, almost knocking me over.

CHAPTER 3 PT.3

#noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #bad omens band #noah sebastian #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #jolly karlsson #fanfic #bad omens cult #writing

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09lover · 5 months

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i think its about time i did one.. so.. [pinned]

— 𓄷 as you know, i go by es, he / they + 16. trans demi-boy! this is a milgram only (main)blog. UTC +8:00. i take doodles and writing requests, and random stuff, request rules will be added when made! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ basic — a really big es lover, i write and i also do art here while the rest of my posts are usually random rambles. i usually prefer people reaching out first than i do.

* if you want to be moots, do let me know! i dont bite at all, im actually looking for moots but idk how to. haha..-? if you need tone tags, please let me know!

disclaimer — i tend to talk/interact a lot, suspected auadhd but currently undiagnosed! also usually not caught up with trending or new stuff/drama, so if i am missing out do let me know if needed. much appreciated actually!

* despite being on tumblr for months; im still new to it. amazing right/s, so apologies if i do something wrong, do correct me please.

if i do make you uncomfy or offended in any way, please let me know immediately as well. i either reply to notifs fast or i dont, no inbetween. maybe there is tho. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ dni — basic dni, israel supporters, irls unless i permit you to interact, inappropriate mlgrm ships. nsfw (jokes r okay), pro/comship etc. i can also block freely if i want to, rarely happens tho.

* i dont mind anyone at any age interacting, so long youre respectful of my boundaries. just dont be a weirdo. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ fandoms — mainly milgram, paralive, aopl & much more which i forgot … but you can ask ! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ favs — es, muu & the whole cast right behind, nayuta & kanata yatonokami / cozmez, hajun yeon, honami osato, vadlip, hajime suzumiya ꒱

៹ ៸៸ funfacts — i love rambling & rping, i have 7 gmails for no reason.. i also have a MINIgram writing series planned! i love cream puffs and my phone’s battery is broken. i dont like donuts. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ tags :

#es talks — random rambles/talks

#es’ reblogs — my reblogs

#es’ art journal — my drawings/artworks

#es’ writing journal — all my works

#es’ [genre] journal — works w that genre!

#es’ asks — my asks

#es’ fav — personal fav things i love!

#es’ notebook — tagged to keep track of things.

* new tags

#es in his misery hole — vent tag, please filter.

#es’ moot battle — battle of his moots! who wins?

#mikoto’s workshift — mini mikopost interaction!

#new year phonegram — tsumi’s new years gartic! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ if you want to dm me about anything literally, feel free to do so; but please ask first! thanks.

with that, youve reached the end of this intro post, thank you for reading! hope you know me at least a little bit more now. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ last updated — 1 jan, happy new year. ꒱

#es’ intro #shoutout to fimi and bukit for being my besties..#IF YOURE INTO PARALIVE AND AOPL PLS IMMED INTERACT WITH ME #my friend called me an es wannabe and i cant stop thinkimg about it #bashes head against wall #IS IT CAUSE I SOUND LIKE ONE…-????

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ravennaortiz · 5 months

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All I Want: Day 9

Summary: Creeper x Reader

Something had been eating at you for days. Things just didn't add up and you weren't buying what anyone selling. Which was why you were siting in the visitors area of the Niland Correctional Facility to get the truth.

Neron was shocked enough to have a visitor let alone to see you sitting at the table when he was led in. This wasn't a place you should be. "What are you doing here" he asked trying to make it as gentle as possible once the guard had stepped away. "I could ask you the same thing" you replied sharply. Neron sighed as he looked down. "Leave it alone, please." he begged softly as he looked back up at you. "I know you've been questioning the guys and stuff. I need....no I want you to stop before you get yourself hurt or worse killed." he continued tears dancing in his eyes as he spoke.

For once in your life you were at a loss for words. The silence was deafening as the two of you gazed into the others eyes. "Well" you started before pausing as you considered how cliche your words were about to be. "All I want is for the father of my unborn child to be home for Christmas. You may be done fighting but I'm not" you stated firmly as you stood from the chair and stormed to the door.

*1 year later*

Neron couldn't help but think of what life had been like as he sat watching his little girl take her first steps. He was thankful for the Angel he had been sent to fight the demons that nipped at his heels. He had found true happiness and a true family with you, something he had chased for years. Looking in all the wrong places until that faithful day you walked into the Stockton Vistors Area to visit your brother.

"What are you chuckling about over there Mr. Giggles?" you called playfully as you picked up your daughter as she reached you. "Just about how many of our big moments together have been held in prison visitor centers" replied Neron as he watched you pick up your daughter. "Well except this one" he added as he grabbed a small box out from under the couch. "Will you marry me?" he asked as you stared in shocked silence at the quaint ring. "Of course" you replied as tears slipped down your cheeks. Smiling Neron slipped the ring on your finger before kissing you quickly. "Where are you rushing off too" you asked with a laugh watching him run to his phone in the kitchen. "Gotta tell Juan and Filip. I forgot to ask permission" he stated as he sent a quick text to the group chat he had with your brother and the man you looked to as a father figure. Shaking your head you carried your daughter to her room to get her down for her nap.

Tag List: @darqchilddaydreamz

#ravennasmasterlist #christmas #mayans imagine #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #neron creeper vargas #creeper vargas #creeper mayans

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nekoannie-chan · 4 months

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Tutor

Title: Tutor.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader.

Word count: 263 words.

Square: D5 “AU: Private tutor.”

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Steve needs you as his private tutor.

Major Tags: Fluff.

Additional tags: This is my entry to @cabottombingo Captain Bottom Bingo round 2. CABB2024.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

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One day, while Steve was walking through the library, he saw an ad that caught his eye. Without hesitation, he took it. He was sure he was going to need it.

You sighed as you looked at your cell phone. It was as if you were mentally hoping it would somehow ring; it seemed like your private tutoring ads weren't working. You jumped when your phone rang; it was an unknown number.

Steve didn't know what to say; the only thing he was sure of was that he needed help. Nothing he had been given was helping him adjust to this time. If he were to tally it up, he had probably already burned everything possible in his apartment, even things that seemed impossible for him to short-circuit or something. He still couldn't explain how it had been possible for flames to come out of the shower.

With much nervousness, he managed to make an appointment with you; he didn't know who else to turn to.

The day you met, you were dumbfounded; maybe you should have specified what things you could tutor her on privately. Although after seeing Steve, you couldn't say no, not to mention that you felt a little sorry to see him so desperate and helpless, although you didn't know whether to believe everything he had told you, it didn't sound so believable that some flowers had caught fire.

You quickly created a plan, including everything you were going to show him. Maybe things could turn out in a different way that would be beneficial for both of you.

#cabottombingo #cabottombingor2 #steve rogers x reader

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phantomskeep · 1 year

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Editing to add (again): This is using the bastardized wendigo from popculture. It's not using the wendigo in the context of the spirit, more in the context of the Hannibal "Ravenstag" or even Antlers' wendigo. Check the Anon link near the end of the post for more information regarding my thoughts on the subject :) I didn't mention the deer-like qualities until the tags, which I understand some people don't fully read. That's my bad, so here I am with the full context ahead of time. This is not the Algonquian version of the wendigo spirit. i really want to write a DCxDP fic where Danny gets trapped in a different form (like either true form or just gets cursed, something like that) and can't get out of it. That form? A wendigo. Somehow he ends up in the DC universe - either through already living there or Ghost Zone shenanigans.

Being a wendigo, Danny feels the need to eat flesh. Preferably human, but even in his screwed-up state he knows that's wrong of him to do. So he takes to killing the bare minimum amount of wildlife he can to sustain himself. Eventually he realizes that "oh wait, what if I just raided a store?" So he stumbles out of the woods and into the nearest grocery store after they had closed. He ends up eating enough to settle his stomach before going off to hide to wait for this whatever to wear off.

However, this catches the attention of [insert local hero]. [Insert local hero] goes to the Justice League about this - maybe this creature is a new villain's scheme? Or just a new villain? Members of the JL + Justice League Dark then go out to [insert town Danny was spotted in] to do some investigating. Batman being one of these people, plus Robin because Damian would not let Bruce go without him. A wendigo could be like a shark after all, just a big ol' puppy.

They get to [insert town here] and start cracking down. They compare the old footage to the location, tracking where the wendigo went. Finally Batman, Robin and [insert characters here] are able to get to the wendigo's den... only to find out the wendigo is a lot more ghost-like than they thought it would be.

There's a big fight because Wendigo-Brain!Danny thought these random dudes were the GIW coming for his undead ass that ends with Danny taking off. Unknowingly to Danny, Damian has grabbed onto him and is basically riding his soon-to-be pet into the sunset.

... I just want to 1) see Danny suffer and being confused 2) Damian trying to get a new dangerous pet and 3) get Damian trying to tame a feral Wendigo!Danny like any normal person would try to befriend that feral orange cat living in the dumpster.

Adding this just to cover my own butt about this haha, here's a link that contains a post which covers the research I have done on the topic of the wendigo: Anon Ask Post Here. I am not trying to culturally appropriate, offend, or harm anyone with a prompt post about Danny taking the form of a wendigo. It's a cool concept to me as I believe it is a bit ironic. The wendigo, as seen in the culture it originates from, is a symbol of greed and a harsh winter and are often a sign of cannibalism. They have hearts of ice and an "unseasonable chill might precede its approach".

I think this is ironic because 1 - Danny is a sweet little bean and being stuck with cannibalistic cravings is a Hannibal Fic trope that will forever rot in my brain + Ghost King!Danny having to eat Pariah Dark's core is a headcanon I adore, 2 - the chill preceding a wendigo's approach reminds me of Danny's ghost sense, 3 - Danny is the LEAST greedy person I can think of in the entirety of DP (even if he does have his selfish moments at the worst times ever), and 4 - wendigos possess human beings. In Native legend a wendigo is a "malevolent spirit" which possesses humans - technically if you are going to stick with the general wendigo legends then it does not have antlers, horns, or is even a beast. It's just a giant human. Which, if using the correct/original version of a wendigo, makes this 10x funnier to me, because Damian that is clearly a giant person what the fUCK ARE YOU DOING--

Anyways, long story short if you have issues with me using a wendigo for a "haha funny" prompt please DM me with any sort of articles, legends, documentaries, ect. on why using a wendigo is a Bad Thing. Like I said in the linked post, I'm always willing to learn and adjust my behavior. I just want proof that the changes I'm going to make are the correct ones to be making, as my years on the internet have ALWAYS told me to fact check anything :)

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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

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🦋 “When will you be mine” w/ Steve Kemp🥰

when will you be mine

continuation

pairing: steve kemp x reader (do i need to tag him as dark or is that just already implied seeing as how he’s a serial killer? 💀)

words: 1k

notes: i know i said short little blurb but my fingers wouldn’t stop typing lmao. also i didn’t mean for this to be so “YOU” ish but oh well 🥲 this is my first time writing for steve kemp so i’m still trying to find him in my writing - we’ll get there eventually 🥴 anyway! thank you for sending this in!! 💙

“You again,” the familiar voice jested, causing you to turn around and eye him.

“Hey, that’s my line,” you retorted with a small smirk. “Back so soon, Mr. Kemp?” you lilted teasingly.

“For the thousandth time, it’s Steve. Please,” he begged, “please, just call me Steve.”

You smiled at his playful dramatics and nodded, conceding.

“Steve,” you corrected yourself, earning a smile from him in return. “Was there a problem with your drink?” you asked, worried.

“No,” he assured you. “I, uh, I actually just came back to ask you something..” he trailed off, sounding almost nervous.

“What’s up,” you prompted him to continue.

“You do catering, don’t you?”

His simple question caught you off guard, you weren’t expecting it with how fidgety he was being all of a sudden.

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I do,” you nodded.

“Great,” was all he said in response until you squinted at him, a small smile playing on your lips as you fought the urge to let your nervous laugh escape.

“I’m having a little get together next weekend. Just a few people, really small. But, uh, I’d love to have you cater, if you’re available. I haven’t stopped thinking about your cupcake since you let me taste it last week. The cupcake, you gave me - that cupcake, I mean. It was fantastic, I know I’ve told you before, but you’re a really great baker,” he babbled as he blushed at his poor word choice and obvious fumbling. You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling so big. Even now he was adorable.

Steve was in your shop weekly if not daily getting a coffee and whatever food item you suggested to him any given visit. He was your favorite customer and you couldn’t help yourself from developing a bit of a crush on the guy. He was gorgeous, funny, smart, so sweet, and charming as hell. You had made him a special cupcake for his birthday last week and since then, he’d been..just a little different when he came in. Almost shy, nervous, though he tried to hide it, it always showed through by the end of his visits. You were worried you had screwed things up with the cupcake, made him uncomfortable or something, but now you felt relieved knowing he really did like it.. And with how flustered he was getting, you thought maybe he really did like you, too.

You had no idea, but Steve was smitten with you the first day he walked into your bakery cafe.

He always had a lot on his plate, though. Never wanted to get you tangled up with his work. He didn’t see you like he saw others, he wasn’t interested in getting you to sell you. He wanted you all for himself.

But he didn’t push it. He couldn’t. He needed to wait for the right time. And he would, to make sure there was no chance of anyone or anything fucking things up for him, he’d wait for the perfect time to take you, to finally make you his. Seeing you as often as he did, talking, flirting, just being around you when he could, it was enough for him for the time being. At least it had been. Until last week. He walked into the cafe and when you saw him, the way your eyes lit up, it made his heart sing. You ran to the back and returned with a little green pastry box just as he approached the front of the line. You took over the register and gave him a soft smile.

“Happy birthday,” you offered, placing the box down in front of him. “I made you this. It’s red velvet..and your drink is on the house, too,” you added, batting your lashes at him, though he wasn’t sure you even realized you were doing so. It was adorable and he smiled back with a sincere and grateful ‘thank you’, shoving the cash he had to pay for his usual order into your tip jar when you turned back to get his drink before you walked down the counter with him to talk a bit before he would inevitably have to go to work. All day, he couldn’t stop thinking of you, couldn’t focus on much of anything.

You remembered his birthday and you made him a cupcake. A special cupcake just for him. He knew his feelings weren’t one sided, but your consideration and obvious care really showed him he was right. He decided that day, he couldn’t wait much longer. You belonged with him. He needed to be careful, now, though. He couldn’t get sloppy just because he had feelings for you, he needed to keep his patience. He just needed to get you out of town. His new home was almost finished and he couldn’t wait to get you there. It would be perfect. Just like you.

He didn’t want to be too confident, didn’t want to freak you out or scare you. So he’d play the part. Make sure you felt safe. Because you were, you had nothing to fear with him, he’d make sure of it.

You helped him schedule the catering, chose what pastries would travel best and picked one of your most popular flavors. You told him you’d be there right on time and it was going to be a rather small gathering, no more than ten people, if that, so you were the only one who needed to work it, it’d be easy. The “venue” was a bit of a ways away, but Steve insisted he’d cover your gas money, so you weren’t going to complain or argue. Plus, you really wanted to do this for him, you would have said yes no matter what. With the plans all set, Steve left looking more sure of himself than when he’d first asked about setting something up. You didn’t think anything of it and returned his smile and ‘see you later’.

Steve was thrilled. Everything was set and now he had a week to ensure everything was ready for you at his place. Just a week, he kept reminding himself. Just one more week and she’ll be mine.

part two

#asks #rubynationwins #bellasburdens one year celebration 💙#steve kemp x reader #steve kemp #steve kemp x you #steve kemp x y/n #soft!dark steve kemp #soft dark steve kemp #dark!steve kemp #dark steve kemp

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unhelpfulfemme · 7 days

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Once again I participate in the "get to know your mutuals" chain mail meme (I'm 100% this is not the correct term but my brain is really fried atm), this time I was tagged by @stripedroseandsketchpads :D I feel like I do this every two months at least so I'm kind of out of people to tag who haven't done it recently, and I've also been kind of dissociated from Tumblr due to work stress so I don't remember if I added anyone new recently :/ So whoever wants to do it, let's pretend I tagged you :D

Last song I listened to: Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - I just discovered this band! Even though it's made up of really famous people from other more famous bands! And I really like it!

Currently watching: The Borgias. So far it's... okay? I'm enjoying the character beats but the actual plotty plot (i.e. the politics and wars) is so slowly paced and overly linear. They seem really scared of the audience not getting it so they only allow one plotty thing to be happening at any given time, and they make sure to spell everything out at least once per episode. Which is... not what I'm used to in my historical political drama (quite the opposite in fact!). Perhaps I could have benefited from this approach if it were a fantasy world or a country I don't have much to do with (I remember having to open up a map of Scotland so many times while reading the first Lymond because they kept going from one city to the other and I didn't know where they were in relation to each other), but it's set in my own country and half of the "as you know" recaps are just basic Italian geography for the anglophone audiences lol. After the fifth time one well-educated character explains to another well-educated character that Florence is in the north-west and Naples is south of Rome, I kind of want to scream. The pronounciations are also all over the place - three guys are sitting at a table looking each other in the eyes and pronouncing "Medici" 3 incorrect ways, at least they could have streamlined it between the actors. Like far be it from me to demand proper pronounciation with the way Italians butcher English words constantly, but at least make it consistent! Luke Pasqualino is the only one pronouncing anything as it should be pronounced, and I really felt bad for him in that scene where Lucrezia keeps asking him to say her name and they're both repeating it over and over, because he's the only one pronouncing it correctly while she's saying it as if she had a mouth full of rocks. Btw my favourite Holliday Grainger fucking up the Italian scene so far is when she needs to ride breathlessly up to the French king and say a long line about her brother Juan the Gonfaloniere and basically she's supposed to repeat "Gonfaloniere" several times and you can literally see her going "my brother is the gonfalonsajkdnajsdsbaj" and making a "fuck it, whatever" expression when she gets to the complicated part. Anyway I am enjoying the show, the pronounciations make me laugh they don't make me mad. And the costumes are gorgeous!

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory or spicy, depending on the mood. I dislike sweet things.

Current Obsession: Nothing really, I've been really tangled up with RL things and am feeling vaguely anhedonic because I keep thinking about work, so it's hard to get into something haha. This is actually why I'm able to focus on the Borgias, because they have quite low bandwidth requirements (i tried to watch it before and found it slow-ish). This too shall pass I suppose :)

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brokenjere · 2 years

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seventeen going under (j.f) (ch. 14)

seventeen going under (j.f)

A/n: hey guys!! hope you like this new chapter! lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist and feel free to talk to me !! I like talking to y’all :)

Synopsis: Jeremiah and Yn rehearse the waltz and Jeremiah is miserable

catch up here

I let Susannah put me in a white dress with ruffles at the hem that tickled right above my knees as I walked. The sweetheart neckline popped against my skin that was now tanned and nearly sunburnt from the Fourth. My flats were comfortable and clean and I kicked off the heels as I rode in the passenger seat of Mom’s car. “I don’t know why you didn’t let Jeremiah drive me, he’s coming anyway,” I said to her as I watched the scenery pass us by. The same route to the same country club, always.

“I know but,” she started and then sighed. I felt her eyes hover on me as she drove and instead of replying, I pointed for her to watch the road. She did. “You just look so pretty and this is exciting, right? The whole debutant thing. I want to be apart of it.”

I felt bad then and looked over at my mom. She had her head faced forward, a stoic look on her face that hid all real emotions from me. “It’s more for Susannah, though, right?” I asked. “It’s what she wanted for her last summer.” Her last summer. Those words stung my throat like a million little bees swarming around, bumping into each other, getting pissed, and then stinging the first thing they come in contact with.

Mom visibility swallowed. Her throat moving up and down like she was swallowing a rock. “Yes, but, I never did the deb thing. I always thought it was dumb, you know? But you made friends.”

“I wouldn’t call them my friends,” I told her. “And I have friends,” I then corrected.

“Jeremiah and Conrad don’t count.”

“Belly and Steven, then.” She glared over at me and I huffed, knowing she was right. Jeremiah and Corad were really my only friends. I had aquaintances, sure. People that were in my classes and I hung out with during our lunch breaks and a study group that I went to the library with but I didn’t have a best friend, anyone other than Jeremiah. “I wouldn’t call the deb girls my friends.”

I hated to burst her imaginary bubble, but it was the truth. I liked them, sure. They were nice girls and decent company to have around, especially for something like this, but ultimately, I wouldn’t call one of them if the Earth was shattering or if I couldn’t stop crying. I wouldn’t call them if I just wanted to grab ice cream for a night out. I tagged along with Belly, who really did need them. I had all I needed.

“Well, still. It’s nice seeing you have fun.” Mom pulled into the parking lot of the country club then and I immediately saw Jeremiah’s Jeep parked by the front entrance. The window was down and I saw his arm hanging out of it, tapping the side of the door to whatever music he was listening to. I resisted the urge to jump out of the car before it even came to a stop and leaned over, kissing my mom on the cheek.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said. She nodded her head and I got out of the car, skipping over to Jeremiah’s. I slammed my hands down on the open window sill and yelled, “boo!”

“You got me,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes at my failed attempt to scare him. “I heard you skipping from across the parking lot.” He looked down at my shoes. “Nice shoes.”

I courtsied and tapped my toe against the car. “Thank you.”

He shooed me away from the Jeep and I took a few steps back, letting him open up the door and get out. He took in my entire presence now that he can see me clearly. His eyes lingered on my legs, right where the ruffles hit my skin, and then they moved up to my chest. He wasn’t starring in a rude way, like he was trying to undress me, but more in an admirable way. Like he wanted to memorize every inch of my body. “You look- wow.”

I gave him a shy smile and he held out his hand for me to take. I do and he escorted me into the country club and up to the ballroom. It was the same ballroom the tea was held in last week except it was empty. No white table clothed tables with fancy gold chair and place settings. There wasn’t a buffet of free food and drinks in the corner and soft music playing. It was just an empty room, the chairs stacked up against walls and all the girls and their escorts are standing around, waiting. Shayla and Steven waved at us as we walked in, Belly and Cam at their sides.

“Aren’t you a little dressed up for this?” Jeremiah teased Steven, who was wearing a white button up shirt, not a wrinkle in sight. No doubt the work of Laurel. I could see her now, frivously ironing out the shirt over and over again.

“Aren’t you a little under dressed?” Steven retoreded. Jeremiah was wearing a t-shirt and jean shorts, which I didn’t mind but maybe he was a little under dressed for the occasion, especially compared to the other guys in the room but if Susannah hadn’t dressed me up like a doll, I’d be wearing the same thing. “Besides, I gotta look good standing next to this one.” Steven slipped his arm behind Shayla, pulling her into his side.

Belly faked a gag, shoving her finger in her mouth like she could throw up. Her blue dress was longer than mine, but it framed her body nicely and she was wearing white gloves. Susannah must have dressed her, too. “Get a room.”

Miss Cubbington, the dance teacher, and Paige entered the room. All eyes immediately fell on them as they strode across the room. Paige turned on the radio, a slow song played quietly in the background. The next hour stung with boredom as they showed us how to waltz and bend our needs right and stick out elbows out. It was repetitive and mundane but Jeremiah’s eyes never left mine and I could pretend like it didn’t suck with him that close to me the entire time.

I looked around the room. Belly and Cam had gotten in the swing of things, literally, fairly easy. I remembered when Conrad taught Belly how to waltz when we were kids. I don’t even remember how he knew how to do that, it was always just ingrained in his brain I think. He grabbed Belly’s sweaty 10-year-old hand and danced with her. Steven fumbled over his feet and Shayla’s heels but she was laughing and he was smiling back and then there was me and Jeremiah, fumbling through the steps like we had no idea what was going on. His hand gripping mine way too tightly like he was scared I might slip through the cracks in the floor.

“This really sucks,” he whispered in my ear.

“Hey, you said you were going to take me,” I reminded him. Our feet moved from under us almost like second nature at this point but we still stared down at them to make sure we were hitting our marks. “Could have kept saying no.”

“And what? Let you do this alone or with someone else?” He scoffed. I accidentally stepped on his foot and he squeezed my hand.

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled. We fumbled getting back into rhythm, especially with Miss Cubbington’s voice raging in the background. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4, 1 - 2 - 3 -4, and repeat.

“I’d rather be miserable doing this with you than watch you do it with someone else,” he muttered. I barely heard him with all the gravel in his throat. He spun me around and dipped me, despite that not being a move we’ve learned yet. I let out a laugh as my hair whipped around my face. His strong, firm arm holding me up from hitting the ground. He was smiling down on me, his curls in his face and when he brought me back up to stand, we both were breathing heavily and our chests were touching.

“Jeremiah, no freestyling please,” Paige scolded without really looking at us and we both held together our laughter. We take three steps forward and then one step back.

“You’re miserable right now?” I asked. Jeremiah smirked and shook his head lightly.

“Never with you,” he said. I smiled and Jeremiah kneeled down to the ground and I held his hand as I walked around him. He’s supposed to keep his face forward but his gaze followed me as I tip-toed around him and instead of standing back up, he grabbed my waist and pulled me onto the one leg he had up. I laughed and wrapped my arm around his neck to keep myself up.

We earned another scold from Paige but whatever plan Jeremiah had concocted in his mind must have worked because she announced a break. He didn’t release me like I thought he would have, instead he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. It was playful and more platonic than I would have liked but I blushed all the same.

Paige and Miss Cubbington leave the ballroom and all the couple break up and go back to the mindless chattering that was happening before the lessons started. “What’s with all the rule breaking?’ Belly asked from behind us. We both stood up and I smoothed out my dress. She was smiling and holding hands with Cam and he was laughing at us but I think in a good way.

“You’re telling me you guys weren’t mind numbingly bored?” I tried not to take offense to that, even after Cameron said “of course not” and kissed Belly’s cheek. They reminded me of a well established couple who knew exactly how the other liked their coffee and to be woken up in the morning.

Jeremiah left my side and made a b-line to the speaker Paige was plating music on. He flipped it on and told Alexa to play So Pretty by Reyanna Maria. I buried my face in my hands, too embarrassed to look at the rest of the group even though I can hear them hooting and hollering, all in favor of the Jeremiah take over.

I kept my face buried even after Jeremiah came over to me, trying to rip my hands off my face to make me dance with him. There’s only so much I could do before giving up and letting take my hands. He spun me around and danced with me while the music blarred in the background, despite my resistance. “Alexa, stop,” Paige said sternly from the entrance way. Any dancing was halted at the sound of her voice. “Can we get back to business, Jeremiah?” She asked, pointing her glare at the Fisher boy.

“How do you know I changed the music?” He asked, pretending to be appalled and dumbfounded at the accusation. He held his hand on his chest but Paige just rolled her eyes and rounded up all the debs and their dates to start the mundane rehearsing of the waltz again.

Jeremiah sighed as he grabbed me, pulling me into position and starting our routine again. “You’re insane, you know that? Like a toddler with a low attention span.”

“You like it,” he said, winking at me. I shook my head and looked away, toward the entryway and out into the hall. Conrad, in his white t-shirt and swim trunks, stood in the doorway, leaning gracefully against the doorjam. I kept moving, forcing my feet to follow Jeremiah’s lead. We seemed to be in a better rhythm that way, without so much resisting from me. I couldn’t help but want to be in control.

Conrad stared at me from the doorway. I don’t think Jeremiah really had noticed yet. I could feel his eyes on me but only briefly before they danced around the rest of the room and finally, land on Conrad. “What is he doing here?” He asked, slowing his movement down a little.

“I don’t know,” I answered. I examined the rest of the room. He could be here for any reason, really. There’s Nicole, who had been patrolling the room all morning making sure everyone was doing what they needed to. She was adjusting elbows, moving hips, and lifting chins. There was also Belly, who had noticed Conrad, too, and was staring. I watched as they both waved to him at the same time. He only waved back once. It was unclear who it was directed at since he was looking at me.

“I saw him and Belly last night,” Jeremiah told me. This caught my attention and I look at my best friend. The younger brother. The lighter one. The carefree one. The reliable one. “They almost kissed.”

“What?” I gawked. Maybe too loudly, catching the eye of some of the girls. Nicole was back to moving around the room and she shushed us. “Why didn’t you tell me that last night?” We stayed up late on the pier last night, talking about everything. Jeremiah talked about Adam and Susannah. How he always felt insecure and less than Conrad. How his dad made him feel that way. Conrad joined football so Jeremiah had to, too. Conrad was great at school so Jeremiah had to be, too. And when Conrad fell into his bad mood, tossing his dad away like a used Kleenex for good reasons unknown to Jeremiah, Jeremiah was finally in the spotlight. Adam loved him again. Adam admired him again.

Conrad was the sun and Jeremiah was the shadow that followed. Everyone gawked at the sun, loved when it came out, warmed up the skin of everyone it surrounded. The shade was an afterthought, the hindrance that followed a sunny day on the beach. To me, the shade was a safe place to rest. A comfortable seclusion from the harsh light. The abrasive heat.

When Jeremiah talked about his broken family, it made me appreciate mine more. How my parents never fought, not even over the last dinner roll at the table. Maybe it was the fact I was an only child and my parents had no where else to put their love besides on me and each other. There was no sharing. So while I pretended to nod and agree and understand what Jeremiah was telling me, but I didn’t know. I didn’t understand.

I saw it. The way Adam glowed when Conrad was around but not so much when Jeremiah spoke up. He asked Conrad how his day was, but not Jeremiah. He cheered for Conrad. He loved Conrad. I think Adam loved Jeremiah, too, but maybe he saw too much of Susannah in him and he couldn’t love her the way he loved himself. Maybe that was it.

“I don’t know. They didn’t, though,” Jeremiah told me. “Kiss I mean.” I don’t know why that tugged at my heart. Surely it hurt worse than it was supposed to. I looked over at Conrad just as he was turning around and walking away. I knew my hands were sweating and I knew my shoulders were tight even before Nicole came back over and shook them out to loosen them. “What’s going on?” Jeremiah said, chuckling a little bit. He tried to catch my gaze and when I looked at him, I softened. I had to.

“Nothing, Jere.” He watched me, deciding if he believed me or not, and then he broke another rule and stopped dancing to snatch me up in his arms and spin us around together. When my feet hit the ground, I laughed. “What the hell?”

“Let’s ditch,” he suggested. “Let’s just go get some ice cream. We know this dance. It’s easy.” He was fairly convincing, between the blue eyes and the smile and soft voice. I agreed and let him lead me out of the ballroom, despite Paige and Miss Cubbington calling after us.

We walked down the small, quiet street until we reached the ice cream shop. It wasn’t a long walk or particularly excruciating and Jeremiah tried to hold my hand the entire time. He brushed his knuckles against mine and tried to use his pinky finger to wrap around my own. I kept dodging the attempt, pointing excitedly at a pelican perching on the stones by the beach or twirling around down the path with my arms outstretched to catch the wind.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hold his hand, God damn did I want to hold his hand, I just couldn’t explain the feeling inside of my chest. As hard as I tried to define everything inside, I couldn’t place these particular feelings. He was my Jeremiah. My best friend. My person, through and through. He was so perfectly perfect for me that sometimes I forgot we were two separate people. But when he smiled at me and the light hit him just right or his freckles grew ten sizes from the sun, the feelings were no longer platonic. He was no longer my best friend, he was the love of my life. And I didn’t know how to navigate him being both.

What would happen if we fought? Who would I talk to? He was always my sounding board. The one I vented to when my mom yelled at me for not picking up my room or for a bad grade in math class. Who would I talk to when things weren’t going so perfectly? The thin sheet of ice we skated on every day was surely going to break one day.

Jeremiah ordered one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and took two spoons off of the counter and we sat on the bench down the block and watched the oceans rage on the shore. He held the pint with one hand, resting it against his bouncing leg. “Would you stop doing that?” I chuckled, trying to hold the pint steady. Our hands overlapped on the cold cardboard container but my fingers were flaming hot.

“I’m not doing anything!” He scoffed, halting his leg. “Get your scoop,” he said. I dug my spoon into the melting ice cream and put it in my mouth before Jeremiah could try one of his stupid games. Usually, he tries to knock my ice cream off my spoon or eat it before I can so I was extra cautious when I noticed him eyeing it up.

He held up his spoon to me, a mound of mint chocolate chip on his purple spoon and said, “here’s to being a fucking deb.”

I collect my own ice cream and hold it up. “Here’s to being a fucking deb. I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.” I hit my spoon to his and instead of eating it normally, we crossed our arms like we’re feeding each other wedding cake.

As we leaned back against the bench, our shoulders pressed tightly together. His shirt was a cool relief from the sun hitting my bare arms and shoulders and now that we were outside, I wished I had put on sunscreen. And then I thought about if I was burnt for the debutante ball. How hideous would I look with bright red shoulders and a spaghetti strap dress?

We ate our ice cream in silence, a comfortable one that I could sit in forever. Forever was a long time. It was infinite, even. A word so big and so vast it was hard to imagine what it all encompassed but my forever, I knew, looked like Jeremiah. Sunshine and light rain shower. Eating ice cream in parks. Lounging lazily in the background. Wrestling on couches. He was my forever and it wasn’t that hard to picture it.

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