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#if you feel guilty about killing an animal to eat it then thats on you. im not doing anything hut pointing out that thats whats happeningm

ben-drowned-me · 4 months

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hi! could you write some general hc for Jeff and Toby? Also could you talk about more about your canon plsss?

✧.* gen jeff and toby headcanons

-aaa of course !! i love jeff and toby so much

for my canon, I like to think that i just kind of make the characters more real. For most of their original canon stories, or for the fanon versions of them, their characters are made to be just killing machines with a little bit of angst and the story of whatever caused it. I base them off my favourite versions of their stories (or combine), but i give them flaws and little quirks that make them into an actual character rather than a person. I also try to write in how they are all traumatized people because thats usually brushed off. I wouldn't mind going into more detail if you'd like :3

jeff the killer

incredibly close with liu before everything went down, now he just feels guilty being around him

hardcore metal and punk fan. Screeching Weasel, Benighted, To The Grave. stuff like that

Has night terrors. Rooms with Ben because he's the only one who can calm him down when he awakes.

Soft spot for animals (usually prefers cats but doesn't say anything to Smile)

Grew up in a very strict catholic family

Is the self-proclaimed "white boy" of the mansion but is hispanic

Pushes his emotions away until something really triggers him

When he finally gets triggered, it does not end well

Full breakdowns. Rage, Depression. He goes through all of it in the span of like 2 days.

Everyone gives him space except Ben

No mirrors in his room. Avoids ones outside

phantom pain from the burns

he looks absolutely atrocious. Probably the worst of all the creeps but to be fair he went through severe body trauma

For a grown man, he's on the skinner side

still really fucking strong though

Can't sleep without noise. One of the reasons he rooms with Ben so much bc hes loud

Messy room. Does not clean, does not know where anything is

only really uses the top of his face to show emotion because he's scared of re-opening his mouth scars

He would spend hundreds of dollars at bath and body works but all the scents he picks up would clash so badly

the kind of guy to say no when someone asks for something but then get 3 of it

listens to british rap unironically

toby rogers

mentioned before, but hates waffles. Any classic breakfast food he dislikes but those are the worst

a collector. His room is filled with small little trinkets he's picked up. Has a rock or button collection

Probably the worst of the creeps emotionally

Was raised in a pretty toxic environment.. Never learned how to manage his emotions. Has too many of them and they change too often so he kind of just. explodes

Usually extreme rage or goes nonverbal

is autistic idc

very ! bad ! ptsd

nervous around male authoritative figures

initially refused to eat at the dinner table since it was a requirement of his fathers, but is getting better at it

soft spot for kids, will let sally dress him up and do his makeup

religious guilt though he was never religious

finds EJ to be very good company, he enjoys the atmosphere

speaking of EJ, he taught Toby a lot of medical care since he's not always available

sleeps on the floor pretty often

kind of an asshole sometimes

master of sarcasm tbh

#creepypasta #ticci toby #jeff the killer #creepypasta incorrect quotes #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta x reader

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cadaverousdecay · 6 months

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vegan vampires, what blood or blood like things do they eat.

Animal blood, fake blood they use in theatre? I think you are an expert on vampires and blood. How would you go at an idea of a vegan vampire

probably animal blood or like. consenting human blood? maybe? vegan vampires are kinda tricky, drinking blood is kinda a vampires whole thing. like trying to get a carnivore to be vegan. blood made in a lab would also be a good option if its available in the world building. i guess it depends on the definition of a vegan vampire; if they dont want to drink human blood, then animal, if they dont want to hurt any creature, blood donors, if they dont want to consume any animal product, artificial blood.

ive seen people say that vampires can live off coconut milk as a substitute for blood and i just cant get with that. i think its gotta be blood. ofc it depends on the specific lore but in most vampire lore the blood is the life. when the vampire myth was kicking off blood was known to be lifeforce. at the root of vampirism is the blood drinking. even artificial blood might fail in that sense, if its about blood being life.

what i think would be more interesting than just a vampire who doesnt like the thought of blood so doesnt drink it, is a vampire who doesnt like the thought of blood, but still has to drink it. in some sense. having to wrestle with the conflicting feelings and seeing where that leads. a vampire who starves itself, a vampire who kills and feels guilty abt it, a vampire who tries to justify it, etc. from a narrative perspective thats more fun to me than a vampire who finds an alternative drinking fruit punch.

but again at the end of the day the vampire myth is very forgiving, vampires are a grab bag of traits that anyone can mess around with. if someone to make a vegan vampire they should

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transgenderer · 2 years

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i cant like...disprove them, i mean obviously i can find books that say what i want and you can find books that say what you want and we could do that back and forth, but anyway im very skeptical of arguments that animal agriculture is necessary, like that we couldnt support our current world population with sufficient nutrition without it or whatever, because its just so...convenient? like, wow, sure would be nice if we got to have the thing that we want without feeling guilty about it because it turns out we need it.

its like...okay, i dont think animal ag is as bad as slavery, but imagine if you were an abolitionist in like, idk ancient greece say (just trying to think of a society where most slave labor when into necessities like food. altho afaik ancient greece didnt really have abolitionists. go with me. the details arent important) and someone claimed, with evidence that looked good on the face of it, that you couldnt free the slaves because free men produced less food, and if you freed the slaves everyone would starve, and therefore slavery was okay. youd be...pretty skeptical!

theres also a missing mood here? like, the mood for "we need to eat meat in order to have enough food to survive, or for the ecology, or whatever" should be *somber*. its omelas shit! its, well, we have to torture a child in order to have all this joy, but were not like...happy about torturing the child. were uncomfortale about it, we, yknow, we feel at least a little bit guilty abt it even if the utilitarian calculus is 100% on our side. and imo thats never the mood i get from meat defenders? the mood i get is "meat is totally fine, like, dont even worry about it". which is...a pretty troubling mood!

oh also under the cut im gonna lay out approximately my position re animal ag, altho ive talked about it before

okay so im a vegetarian but i feel like theres a bunch of caveats like

econony is complicated, no idea if being a vegetarian has any marginal effect on the amount of animal ag that occurs, totally plausible it doesnt, in which case i guess its just a classic coordination problem

i dont think eating meat is like, a terrible sin or anything? i think its bad, but its like...littering bad, yknow? maybe more than that. maybe like. "consistently being an asshole most of the time" level of bad. i dont have super principled reasons for this. thats just how it *feels*

probably veganism is much better than vegetarianism but it FEELS like vegetarianism is like 90% of the way to the goodness of veganism. my main issue is killing things. killing things feels bad to me

uhhhhh something something efficiency gains from not growing food to feed to animals something something yes that means some areas wont be self sufficient for food, if you had to kill people to live in an area then i guess its immoral to live in that area, sorry, something something

getting sufficient nutrition while on a veg diet can be pretty hard, i like. i get why you would eat meat for that reason. i think its still probably kind of bad. but yknow. its complicated.

im sort of a soft antinatalist so i dont think causing an animal to be born makes it any less bad to kill it

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asmo-ds · 3 years

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Hello! Me again! Hope I'm not sending too many requests but I just got a really funny idea while staring at nothing in bed. Can you do a reaction of the brothers and the now dateables to where MC's a zombie/corpse who looks like a regular, normal human, but they're like immortal? Like when they show up as the exchange student, but they show up bloody and battered, is looks definitely dead. The brothers are like freaking out over the dead body, but then MC just all of a sudden sits up, and groaning, cracking their bones, saying like, " Ahhh.... who the hell tried to kill me... again!" Thanks!

w/ Zombie!MC

Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, reanimated corpses, zombies (duh) and general gore

Summary: How the Obey Me! characters react to MC showing up to the Devildom seemingly dead only for them to sit up and say “ahhh... who the hell tried to kill me... AGAIN!”

- When the body lands in the student council room all bloody he just stops functioning

- He immediately runs to the body and checks for a pulse

- The second he touches them they sit straight up, colliding heads with the stunned firstborn

- They just stare at him wide-eyed for a minute before slapping him

- “ARE YOU THE ONE WHO KEEPS KILLING ME IN MY SLEEP?!”

- the entire exchange program he feels relaxed because he knows that they literally can’t die

- If they try eating other human exchange students he will be agitated

- No MC SOLOMON IS NOT FOOD GET HIM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW

- When he waltzes into the student council room and sees everyone trying to hastily clean the human’s blood off of themselves he screeches and runs

- MC explains the situation after they’ve showered and he’s stopped screaming and he is still a bit spooked

- kind of impressed by the fact they’ve survived being murdered the number of times that they have been

- Uses them as a shield whenever his brothers try hurting him

- Feels guilty when he realizes that even though they don’t die it hurts and takes energy to heal

- Vows to never let anyone try to kill them again

- they get “killed” again the next morning

- is glad that his babysitting job isn’t that hard because the baby literally can’t die,,, its the perfect baby!

-When Lucifer comes walking in talking to a human covered in their blood he just faints

-He wakes up in his bed and goes downstairs, convinced that he is just waking up from a nightmare

-Seeing the dried bloody footprints in the entrance hall though worried him and so he runs to the dining room and sure enough, the human from his nightmare is there, but not covered in blood this time

-Thinks it is kind of cool that they can survive being murdered and compares them to every single video game character ever

-Is glad his henry can’t die but feels bad that they died in the first place, especially since being a zombie means they had originally been killed by a zombie, which is an awful way to die

-Intrigued and kind of amused because he can smell the life on them but can’t seem to hear a heartbeat

- Worried about the blood though

- All the gore is worth it when he sees Lucifer’s face

- Studies and stalks their behavior because he has never met a zombie before

- Uses them as a part of his pranks, by pretending to kill them the first few months they are there so that Lucifer finds them bloody and playing dead

- Lucifer stops falling for it and he gets sad

- Is super impressed by their survival of all the murder attempts and studies their anatomy (as far as they will allow him)

-Feels faint when he sees all the gore

- When they slap Lucifer and accuse him of trying to kill them “again” thats when he actually faints

- Helps them heal their wounds with his favorite ointments

- Feels so bad that they had to go through so much

- Worries about their skin because of how often they get hurt without realizing it

- If they try eating Solomon he will either cry or laugh it depends on how much of a brat Sol was being that day

- Tells them it’s hot how indestructible they are and how they must be able to endure a lot in the bedroom ;))))

- Smells their blood before they even land in the room

- Tries to eat them but is held back by Satan and Asmodeus

- Later when they explain their situation he is just like “oh ok”

- Then as he gets to know them and how much energy their body uses just keeping them animated he feels really sad

- Protects them from demons and people who want to “test their durability”

- Though the constant smell of their blood and wounds tempts him, he refuses to eat them and for once feels complete control over his sin

- Sad when he hears about all the murder attempts they’ve been through and how they’re always called a ‘monster’ by those around them

- He could sense something about them was off when they first came and saw him in the attic

- He didn’t truly know until they were laying “dead” in Mammon’s lap and Mammon wasn’t even worried

- Mammon said “yo wake up” and Belphie was always shocked because he believed that Mammon would’ve been the most upset by a dead person in the entrance hall

- They sat straight up and fucking y a w n e d before giving a smile and saying good morning to his brothers

- After explaining to him all about their situation he feels dumb

- finds it funny to try and “test their strength” before he realizes how tired they get when healing

- Since they never really “died” in the eyes of anybody in the human world he had no idea that they would show up dead

- Cries

- Watching Lucifer get slapped and yelled at when they woke up accusing him of trying to kill them though he laughs

- Worried about other humans in the program but knows MC is a kind should and would not eat a human unless they had to

- Throws a tantrum if he ever catches someone calling them a “monster” or catches them trying to test their durability

- He knew. He thought it’d be funny if they showed up and gave a spook to everybody so he may or may not have sent something their way to try and kill them

- only feels a little guilty but he vows to never do it again

- keeps a close eye on them to ensure Solomon is in no danger

- Finds it funny to watch the brothers freak out whenever they hurt themselves and heal

- Researches ways for MC to heal easier

- Solomon is a bit afraid for his own safety

- so he casts a charm on himself to keep his safety in check

- MC threatening to eat him a kind of funny though

- Worries about their safety as well because he knows how zombies function and how much energy they drain whenever they heal

- Puts a charm on them to keep demons who want to test their durability away

- When he has free time he researches different ways to help them with their healing though

- Shocked if he sees the bloody scene

- But hearing about it is kind of funny

- Feels bad about their situation and offers to use some healing magic to help them with any injuries

- Knows how reckless the brothers can be so he is extra cautious about them trying to test MC and their durability

- Keeps an eye on MC when they are around other humans

- WHAT IN THE

- Scared as heck

- Feels bad for being scared but he can’t help it

- Also tries to use healing magic on them

- tries to protect MC from mean demons but he is smol

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aethericdelirium · 2 years

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ppl dont care that theres literal blood and dye in cow milk, or that feeding and housing cows takes a ton of land and means a ton of trees have to be cut down for wood, or that cows release a ton of methane and co2 into the atmosphere. and milk is not even supposed to be consumed by adult mammals let alone adult mammals from another species. we are forcing them to produce milk by giving them medications to make them produce it, squeezing so much out of them that its painful and blood comes out, or stealing the milk from their calves who need it for nutrition. but god forbid almond milk might have remnants of dirt in it and uses a lot of water to grow. did you know cows have to eat plants and that takes water too?

the milk, meat, and egg industry are 100× more unsustainable and damaging to the environment than any plant based food you could possibly think of, plus animals literally suffer and go through actual hell bc of how awful their living conditions and how inhumanely they are tortured and killed. the animal product industry is not better than anything. it is actually one of the worst industries of all, bc not only do they have no regard for animal life, but also no regard for human life or the earth. the meat industry exploits workers just as much if not more than plant-based industries do. not only that but it is disgusting, unhealthy, and you have no idea wtf is in your chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers, or sausages. stop acting like vegan food is so unethical when nonvegan food is a thousand times worse. you just want to eat chicken nuggets without feeling guilty. you can admit you just simply like meat and dont want to give it up, thats all you have to say. stop making up shit to reverse any progress thats being made and to persuade people to NOT become vegan even though its literally better for animals, the earth, laborers, AND your health. you just want to make excuses to keep supporting the meat industry just cuz you like meat but still want to look woker than everyone else. maybe give a shit about the actual earth rather than your own image and selfish wants. watch literally any video on the animal product industry and you will literally be horrified. there is SO much wrong with it, i dont even know where to begin. i am so sick of online woke culture spreading lies to make veganism seem worse than animal product consumption when in fact it is much more ethical and thats why people do it. vegans are also much more likely to care about people and the earth than nonvegans.

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ariars-art · 4 years

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First post of the new name/direction of this blog with my Linked Universe Percy Jackson AU! Meet the Demi-God boys!

After cleaning out my room a couple of weeks ago I found my old PJO & HoO books and my old obsession clashed with my new one along with my passion for mythology! I have a lot of stuff thought up about this AU and I’m going to keep riding the self indulgence juices for as long as I can!

Some info on the boys/the AU can be found below! Not everything is below, I would like to keep some secret/for the future ;) And feel free to ask/send questions about the AU, I would die of happiness if you did!

Wind -Son of Poseidon (God of the Sea, Storms, Earthquakes, Droughts, Floods and Horses) Counselor of Cabin 3. -14 years old. 3 years at camp. -He is a summer camper, and lives with his Grandma and younger sister Aryll when not at camp, they are unsure if his sister is a Demi-God as well. -Has gone on a few of quests so far, mainly ones that involved the sea including one to the sea of monster with his best friend/best rival Tetra. -Really excited about all his new cousins and family. -Hates being underestimated due to his age, he’s been on quests, he's a son of Poseidon, he’s just as capable as the rest of them! -Favourite part of his powers is his ability to talk to fish and horses. Horses don’t like him back though. Wild -Son of Hypnos? (God of Sleep and the Personification of Sleep) -Doesn’t even know his age, let alone his birthday. -A year round camper, well he’s got no where else to go. First year at CHB -All he remembers is being inside a nice plush cabin with lots of pillows a tree growing in the middle that leaked a milky colored sap that was dripping over his hands and lips. -Slept for a really long time and he guesses now he has no memory? At least that’s what Chiron told him. But why does he feel so guilty? -No quests just yet, he likes practicing archery trick-shots with the Apollo kids. -A daughter of Athena keeps trying to get him to eat frogs and bugs. Some of them make him feel funny. Twilight -Son of Lupercus (God of Shepherds and Wader against Wolves), Champion of Lupa (Wolf Goddess). Centurion of Cohort 3. -19 years old. 4 Years at Camp. -Summer Camper, goes home despite it being uncommon for Romans to do so. -Wasn’t found until he was 15, his father was too minor of a god to really draw any attention to Twilight. He liked it that way. He trained himself and it was enough to protect himself for a couple of years. -When he was 15, one of his mortal friends was killed the crossfire of one of the few monster attacks, afterwards he was taken to Camp Jupiter. -Whilst completing his training in the Wolf House under Lupa the wolf Goddess, the she-wolf took a liking to him and agreed to train him further than other Demi-gods and eventually took him on as her champion. -On a quest met someone and they teamed up and he fell in love with her despite knowing that she could never love him back. -Talk shit you get the stick Sky -Son of Zeus (God of the Sky, Lightning and Thunder. King of the Gods) Counselor of Cabin 1. -19 years old. 3 years at Camp. -Year round camper, but wishes he could be a summer camper like his girlfriend. -Very in love with his girlfriend who is a Daughter of Apollo, they knew each other as kids but never knew they were both Demi-Gods. -Has been on only two or three quests but they were very big/very important and needed the power of a son Zeus. Doesn’t like to think about his first quest. -Prefers to use his Wind powers over his Lightning Powers. -Feels quite bad due to the fact ever since he and his younger cousin (Wind) showed up at camp the number of monster attacks have only increased. -Jealous of Wind’s ability to talk to some animal, he wishes he could communicate with his bird.

Four -Son of Hephaestus (God of Fire, the Forge, Metalworking, Technology and Blacksmiths) Co-counselor of Cabin 9. -18 years old. 4 years at camp. -Summer Camper, goes home to his Grandfather during the year. -Quite small for an child of Hephaestus but that doesn’t put him down. -Known for stealing extra end of year beads from the Big House. -Sometimes seen talking to himself. -Is most skilled in weapons but has dabbled in creating automatons but all he ended up with was a cranky bird who likes to sit on his head, he named him E.Z.L.O. -”Yes I did flex and my sleeves fell off, shut up Legend!”

Hyrule -Son of Hecate (Goddess of Magic, Crossroads, Sorcery, Necromany and Light) -16 years old. 2 years at Camp. -Year round camper -Still quite new at all this Half-blood Demi-God stuff . -His Saytr guide got killed while escorting him to camp, managed to make the rest of the journey by himself. -His magic goes a bit haywire when he is stressed, last time he turned 3 members of the Hebe cabin in an acorn, plank of wood and a toaster for a few hours. -A little scared cause he feels unworthy next to all his siblings and all the other heroes in camp, but knows deep down he might be stronger than most of them. -Keeps taking the new Hypnos kid into the forest around the camp and sometimes they don’t show up again for a few days.

Time -Son of Janus (God of Beginnings, Transitions, Time, Duality, Doorways, Passages, and Endings) Former Praetor of Camp Jupiter, Former Centurion of the First Cohort. -Age unknown, but he’s quite old for a Demi-god. -Gave up the Demi-God life and his Praetor position years ago to go and live with his mortal wife. -Due to his powers he sometimes ends up walking through doorways through time and space. Thats how he ended up here. Not his first rodeo in this time though. -Was raised by a group of forest Dryads for the first years of his life before moving to Camp Jupiter. -Been on many quests, including one which ended up with him having to battle against the primordial moon goddess Luna. After winning the fight he took her sword. - “Look, I didn’t ask to be a half-blood.” Legend -Son of Hermes (God of Roads, Travel, Athletes, Diplomacy, Thieves, Commerce and Trade. Messenger of the Gods) Counselor of Cabin 10. -17 years old. 7 years at Camp. -Year round/Summer Camper, it kinda changes every year. -Currently holds onto the record for the most quests at Camp Half-Blood. Kinda proud but also kinda over it. -Hoarder of all sorts of items, unknown where he gets all these items from. -Bonded with Hyrule while he was holed up in Cabin 10 before his claiming by Hecate. -He sees a possible opportunity in the son of Poseidon to help him return to the mysterious island he wash up on years ago. An island where he fell in love with a goddess who could never leave. But he is going to find a way, he will. -Stole a pair of his dad’s flying shoes, but turns out they were kinda a dud. Can’t fly but can run really fast. Warriors -Son of Mars (God of War and Destruction) & Legacy of Venus (Goddess of Love, Beauty, Desire, Prosperity and Victory). Praetor of the 12th Legion. Former Centurion of Cohort 5. -18 years old. 4 years at Camp. -Year round camper. He’s in charge so he’s got to stay. -At first thought to be another child of Mars with a pretty face he was placed in Cohort 5. He was quickly made centurion of the ragtag group of Demi-Gods and quickly the cohort was competing with the best of them. -He caught the eye of the current female Preator and when her colleague failed to return from a quest, she promoted Warriors to Preator, despite him not having completed the minimum 5 years of service to be eligible for the position. -Most well known for helping defend Camp Jupiter during a war a year ago, which helped solidify his new position as Praetor. But he feels guilty for every life lost in each of the battles. -A bit of a heartthrob who can't help but flaunt his double legacy sometimes.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #legend of zelda #loz #link #percy jackson au #pjo au #twilight #wild #wind #my art #sky #time #warriors #legend #hyrule #four

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jeffrrandell · 3 years

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I'm intrigued by your Balance theory. That little man plagues me. I wonder what everyone's circus sideshow counterparts would of been.

I tried finding it but couldn't if you'd be willing I'd love to know your theory

I’m very flattered that you’re interested in it! I wrote this a little while ago, but hopefully it still makes sense. (this is like my 5th time trying to post this too ugh) WARNING: very long post!!

Episodes important to the Balance theory-

- In Dreams - episode 49 S1 (mainly speculation)

- Balance - episode 50 S1

- Tales of Madrynia - episode 15 S2 (mainly speculation)

- Clarences Stormy Sleepover - episodes 5-10 S3

- A Nightmare on Aberdale Street: Balances Revenge - episode 26 S3

In Dreams

In this episode, we have Clarence experiencing a Lucid dream, he meets his buddy named Jeremy. Jeremy lives in Clarences head. He is playful and fun, but never wants the fun to end. He did everything in his power to make Clarence not want to wake up and leave him. The dream surrounding Clarence gets out of control and almost seems nightmarish, like a crazy place you cant escape. However Clarence does manage to wake himself up, and promises Jeremy he wouldn't forget him. He left Jeremy.

Balance

Balance is a character who looks to be Clarence but quite opposite from him, and acts that way too. He's a circus act whos main talent is balancing on objects. Supposedly he goes to the school to escape the circus and live a different life, but he appears to be much more than that. He isn't one for making friends with any of the kids, but Clarence being Clarence, of course he tries to. This angers Balance and he grows a distaste for him. He threatens Clarence not being a nosey Nancy or there could be consequences. Balance does this thing where he gets into peoples minds and tells them exactly what they dont want to hear. And by get into their minds, I mean quite literally. He plays this trick on Belson and Clarence comes to defend him.

Next scene, Balance is seen in class carving an apple in the shape of Belsons head. He then proceeds to slice the apple in half, cut to Belsons look of terror. Balance is already aware of their fears, he knows Belson is special to Clarence much like all his friends he talked down to.

Clarence comes up with a plan to try and get Balances intimidating words on tape to show the teachers, and he sets up Belson with a tape recorder. Another mishap occurs and Mr Reese interrupts. The boys give the tape to Mr Reese, believing they caught what Balance had said on tape. To their surprise, somehow all the tape played was Balance singing a tune. They are both confused and baffled, Belson steps away from the situation too freaked out. During class next scene Balance goes to the washroom to shave some stubble. Clarence catches him and runs to the staff room to alert them, but Balance fools him once again, appearing in the room entertaining the teachers. Balance says to Clarence: "how did I what, doc? How did I switch the tapes? How did I know you were gonna come here? Well you see, I've always been here Clarence. And now, I got the teachers eating out of the palm of my hand. I can make you think you're hearing anything I want, even smell anything I want. Listen to me boy, theres the mans world, and theres the spirit world, but you cant handle my world. Little bird, fly away home. Your house is on fire, your children all alone-"

hes cut off by the ringmaster. During his speech however, it shows everyone around him in a hypnotic state. He gets taken away but escapes in the very end. This could all be seen as silly, but I think he really means it. Balance is an entity, an entity out for horror and fear upon others, for that's what he lives off of. He's like a mind demon, abusing his power and controlling what people think and see. I also dont think the invisible circus is even real, hinted at the fact its called "invisible circus"

Tales of Madrynia

This is mainly just extra, but let me explain anyways. This episode is centric on Percy and Clarence. Percy has these imaginary characters he wishes to be real. Clarence has him over that day and has said animals in the garage. Despite them being literal wild animals, Percys imagination takes over. This is where Jeremy and/or Balance comes in. The animals in Percy's head talk about 'the pink one', Clarence. There's a story going along, but at the end of the episode theres a song sequence about them talking about killing 'the pink one'. Percy is so in this little world that he believes hes moving along with them, needle in hand, and marching to kill Clarence with his animal friends. He snaps out of it of course, nothing would've actually happened. But possibly, this was Balance being able to manipulate Percy's imagination into trying to potentially harm Clarence. The reason I mention Jeremy is because if Balance is in Clarences head, he has met Jeremy. (definitely confirmed in later eps) Jeremy has the ability to world build, make believe like a child and could be able to create a daydream. Balance takes this to his advantage.

This whole series of episodes is all a story told by Balance himself. Though the outcome is positive, it still has a lot of fearful aspects. Clarence 'goes missing' causing Mary and Chad to freak out, they get stuck with Jeff who feels as if hes the cause of a power outage AND Clarences disappearance. They go out into the storm to find them. Throughout this, Jeffs starts hallucinating and seeing Clarence talking to him. He kinda drives himself insane. Belson and Mr Reeses story are more about lesson learning, probably because Balance had a real fun time picking out the things Belson was guilty of in his debut episode. Not much of anyone else's story is very easy to tie to the explanation, but in the end Clarence finally gets his sleepover, bonds were made and everyone was fine. People learned and grew.

Clarences Stormy Sleepover

At the very end of Balances story, he goes over to a crib, which was in front of him while he read. Inside the crib reveals Jeremy, who he refers to as 'my child'. It is possible that Jeremy was a set up from Balance from the start, a creation of his.

Balances Revenge

This was the first episode seen where all of these theories took place, really. Clarence has people over on Halloween. He all enters their dreams, which all turn into nightmares. This is all Balances doing. He uses Clarence to enter other peoples dreams and turn them into terrors, a pink goop appearing more than once in disturbing ways in all the dreams.

Each time he gets out of the others dreams, they disappear in what appears to be real life. When theres no one left, he decides he needs to enter his own dreams. Hes met up with Jeremy. All of Clarences friends are caged up by Balance. Jeremy tries to help Clarence rememeber how to control his dreams. Honestly, probably just a pawn at this point pretending to be friendly towards Clarence in an act to make him stay. When he feels he's ready he attempts to fight Balance, ending up in his capture as well. Clarence, being himself once again, plays by the dream rules and gets them all out of the kerfuffle. In the end Balance gets turned into nothing but pink goop. Does this mean hes gone? Naw dont think so. I think he just got away this time. You cant kill something thats merely an entity

What does this all mean?

Basically, all of this means that Balance is a figment of Clarences imagination, but not quite at the same time for he seems to be very real. He wants to use his power to manipulate and control his friends around him to see and experience horror and fear, causing them distress. All of this causes Clarence distress, for the one thing he cannot stand is his friends being hurt. I think that his dreams will haunt him for a long time, and will haunt others when around him. Like in Tales of Madrynia, I feel that in others dreams they will see Clarence as a monster. Like he did something wrong, or he is the villain. All of their dreams play with their biggest fears. Jeffs possibly being things like failure, guilt, imperfections and uncleanness. Sumos possibly being failing in protecting his friends and them ending up hurt, being met with disappointment and disapproval, and failure. Belsons possibly being criticized and met with the way he treats people, being shown his actions and how they hurt people, hard truths about his personal life and what he'll never gain from the way he acts.

Clarences would be about letting people down, his friends being hurt, being alone, and so on.

Some dreams could contain disturbing imagery or night terror material, scarring them for life. All horrible, but Clarence just has to cope. He feels guilty that hes the cause of his friends nightmares during sleepovers and such. A potential end to this has not crossed my mind yet.

#clarence #clarence cn #theory #cartoon theory #cartoon network #show theory #clarence wendle #clarence balance #balance

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adashelbysgirlfriend · 4 years

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You're Adas Roommate and She Falls in Love with You (Modern Au)

am i exclusively writing modern au headcannons because i don't trust my ability enough to turn it to a period piece and because my commitment issues make it near on impossible to write a full fic? you bet. Also, i eternally simp for Ada

Ada is at her wits end with living with her brothers

she's genuinely ready to murder them all

so she finds a nice one bedroom flat in London and packs her stuff

Tommy says its a big fat no sorry

compromise a two bedroom and a roommate situation, as long as Ada can pick who

but obviously, Tommy finds a way to involve himself in this part of the decision making too

he just wants to make sure his sister isn't moving in with some weirdo or a gang banger

he also just loves being in control but whatever

he actually shows you around the place

you get the impression that he is the landlord and he doesn't exactly correct you

he likes you though, he thinks you're a good fit and you don't seem to have any ties to people that want to kill him which is a rarity in this town

Ada is fuming when he tells her that her roommate has already moved in

the roommate who she was supposed to pick but hasn't even met yet

when you first meet her she seems so angry at you that you feel kinda guilty like you've done something wrong

or just assume she's a big fat bitch

it doesn't take her long to snap out of it though, when she figures out your not just one of her brothers little spies

i feel like ada is really into green/ herbal teas? she makes you tea all the time

and at first its a bit hit or miss but she kinda hones her skill and honestly that shit is GOOD

she has an obsession reading up on it for a bit and she finds this recipe for this like super tea for mornings that builds your immune system and she starts making it for herself but then feels bad for not sharing with you so she leaves you a cup on the kitchen counter every morning for when you get up

she also bakes a lot, and she leaves you little goodies out with a post it note on them with your name on or a little cute note

after a while though when you grow closer she will literally just bring these baked goods into your room

like at the start she's SO careful with not entering your space

because all she's had her whole life is brothers coming in her room and annoying her

no privacy in the shelby home

she doesn't want to make you feel like that

but after a while you guys grow so comfortable with each other that you literally can just walk into each others rooms unannounced

having dinners together

you guys start by cooking together and like

eating your separate meals around the table together

and then ada comes home one day utterly shattered from working at the library and you make her tea for her

in thanks she makes you your tea the next night and then it just kind of continues from there

even when one of you is away, its hard for the other to just make one portion so you'll often leave each other frozen meals with post it notes on

theres notes start as just names but then they kinda turn into a way of sharing little inside jokes

which is incredibly confusing for the boys when they come round

“Ada, why is there a cake labelled ‘Boris Johnson’ in your fridge?”

“thats y/n’s leave it alone!”

you get used to there being random men in the house

growing to enjoy the company of Adas brothers much much more than she herself does

Ada bringing you as her plus one to all Tommy political events and parties

Polly gets a strange vibe from the two of you

not that she doesn't like you, because she does

very much so actually

but she just can sense that theres something there thats a little deeper than friendship

she starts to see it in the way Ada is so hands on with you

Ada has always been cuddly, but exclusively with her closest circle of friends

Polly picks up on all the little touches and hand strokes that not even you nor Ada notice to be abnormal

instead of intervening she just watches, waiting for one of you to realise whats going on

Ada feels it first

you've lived together for a year and a bit and Ada comes to your room to drop off your morning tea like normal and your doors closed

thinking you've closed it by accident she barges in to find you in bed with a very naked male

shes really angry so she goes to tell Polly about it

“but why are you angry dear?”

Ada doesn't know, she just babbles on about it being so unlike you

Polly just listens, not wanting to butt in until Ada had got it all out of her system

“i don't know Pol, i guess i don't know why I'm angry”

“thats because you're not my love, you're jealous”

Polly is all knowing right

she's just so wise

Ada had no CLUE how to act

she doesn't even know how to accept herself, never mind how to approach it with you

its not like anything really happened, there wasn't some earth shattering event that brought her the realisation

it was incredibly slow-burner that was just simmering and simmering until finally one little event tipped it over the edge

and suddenly all the little things that only niggled at her before were not like bullets through the heart

you'd come back from a night out and she’d be waiting up for like always and you'd go on the roof together for a tab like you always had but for some reason it would be different than before

she was much less animated when listening to your stories of conquests and hook ups

“ are you alright babe?”

“yer just tired”

Ada knew she shouldn't let herself get so hung up on this silly little crush and that she was only hurting herself more but

you were more than just some crush

and Ada had no clue how to deal with it

trying not to be obvious and being very obvious

even Arthur notices his sister being weird

him asking Polly and her telling him its just girl things

him understanding even less

Tommy kinda figuring it out

he doesn't really understand at first; why his sister is giving you all those little looks and laughing at everything you say

you're all at dinner together and he catches ada looking at you and it just all clicks

he asks Pol about it but she says its none of his business

which he finds kinda frustrating because he's Tommy fucking Shelby

kinda an everyone but you knows kinda situation

Ada feels almost perverted for feeling things when she sees you walking round the flat in just a towel or you get changed in front of her

because you're so naive to her feelings

and she wants you so badly

which just makes her feel like fucking the worst scum of the earth

because you trust her like a friend and she feels like she's abusing that trust

furiously listening to Girl in Red

she tries to pull away from you, because it just hurts to much

which in turn upsets you

until you guys end up arguing and she can't keep it in anymore

“ada i thought we were supposed to be best friends”

“i don't want to be your friend anymore”

imma leave you all gay hanging sorry

#Ada Shelby #ada shelby x reader #ada shelby moodboard #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder headcanon #ada shelby headcannon #Tommy Shelby #Arthur Shelby #polly gray

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shoujoaccent · 4 years

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can you share your thoughts on kuro and iwanaga pls 🥺

ok first, i love them, so jot that down lmao i’m just going to be rambling w/ the information i have today!! which is ep7 of the anime & vol.10 of the manga!!

the first thing i want to touch on is this recent idea that kuro is with iwanaga by force, or her persistence, or not having romantic feelings for her... and even though i can see why people have that conclusion, i feel like a big factor to that ideal has been from 1) their romance has been subtext because of the genre and the fact that their relationship is established, and 2) the fact that kuro’s character, especially in the anime, is flat and often misconstrued... when he both has valid reasons for his characterization and has proven that he genuinely cares for her, her well-being, and their relationship.

again!! i must repeat!! they are together in an established romantic relationship. this is not a budding romance, so we’re not going to get a lot of moments of them realizing their feelings/etc. he may have moments where he’s not prioritizing her, but he always makes up for it, and shows that he goes out of his way to make her happy. yes, he teases her relentlessly, and yes, he says he’s going to break up with her..... but literally all of his actions indicates his care.

also, the second thing i want to touch upon is that kuro and kotoko’s relationship is complicated because individually, they are complicated themselves. kuro’s lack of attachment can be explained away with the abuse of his grandmother, his strange relationship with rikka, and the fact that he’s immortal (like, why is he going to get legally married when he’ll never have a death certificate?). kotoko flirts, sure, but she’s distant herself. she’s shown that she has no hesitation of bending ethics to uphold the natural order, and that her job will always become before everything, even her health. before kuro, she’s described to being to herself and rare to any emotional outburst. nonetheless, she’s still a rich, protected daughter that was found dismembered... like she has her own rich backstory that doesn’t go away just bc she talks about being horny 24/7 lol

ok more things under the cut bc of spoilers and i cant be vague anymore:

THIRD THING!! another thing that gets brought about kuro’s feelings and it’s the fact that he has feelings for his cousin and saki still. therefore, his relationship with kotoko is strictly platonic... but that’s... that’s just not the case. i need to break this down into parts bc WHEW I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

FIRST, if kuro has feelings for rikka, then there should have been no problem for them to be together. in the recent volume (10), she literally states that he was supposed to be hers... but what eventually ended up happening is the fact that kuro did get closer with kotoko.

and see, the thing with that is..... if kuro has had nothing but feelings for rikka, then his relationship with saki wouldn’t have happened in the first place either. not to sound pro-inc*st, but they are immortal beings and the last of their family line. there’s literally nothing stopping them besides kuro not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with rikka... and he didn’t. he got engaged to saki instead.

kuro has also stated that rikka was only in the hospital because she wanted to be mortal again, aka she wanted to die... but why? there’s events that we’re missing and won’t get to see into later down the line. regardless, it’s safe to say that kuro loves rikka to his full capacity as family and as someone who shared his same horrid past, but he doesn’t love her more than that. (he also said she was a monster beforehand anyway so.... idk, maybe that has something to do with that LOL.)

but that also brings us to the next thing: why saki?

it’s been clear that he dates saki because she looked like rikka. they were together to the point of engagement and talks of marriage, but nothing came into fruition bc he’s an immortal that scares off spectres.

but thats the thing too, their relationship would’ve never worked bc 1) he was always hiding the fact on who he was, and 2) again, he is immortal. maybe she was his attempt to be normal, but kuro’s very aware of his situation at all times. i don’t doubt he loved saki, but a lot of his residual feelings from the lady steel arc indicate guilt rather than lingering feelings.

and of course, he feels freaking guilty!!! he lied to her about his condition, and then scared her to the point where she couldn’t even eat certain meats. that’s a heavy burden to be at fault for. (luckily, they do resolve this and apologize to each other!! but that’s the thing too: be the end of lady steel, they aren’t letting go of their feelings. they’ve been aware that their relationship was over for a long time and that they both moved on. there were just some leftover wounds.)

AND AHHH!!!! i think its also to point out the fact that rikka approved saki (aka her clone), but she never approved kotoko. rikka said that she thought she could wait for kuro to get tired of kotoko, but he never did. that’s why kotoko became a bigger threat than she already was. not only was she an indicator that kuro wasn’t looking for rikka in people, but because his feelings for kotoko are genuine. it drives rikka to the point of insanity bc she literally is trying to create something to kill a god.

so to summarize: kuro loves rikka, but only as family. kuro dates saki bc she reminded him of rikka (aka probably the only he did know in his fucked up childhood), but it doesn’t work out bc he’s immortal anyway. kuro dates and ends up having actual feelings for kotoko, which brings us to the present and why rikka feels threatened to the point of violence.

GOT IT!!!

also, since we’re nearing the end, there’s something also interesting about kuro and kotoko’s relationship that i’ve thought about since their christmas chapter. kuro is a broke college student. kotoko is an heiress. they’re constantly going on trips and dates, but for the most part, kuro is going out of his way to treat kotoko. he’s thankful for her parents for taking in rikka, but there’s not a plot about him being indebted to her/etc... and i’ve been thinking about this since the christmas chapter bc he chose to work at his part-time job than spend it with her. at first, it’s easy to be upset about it...... but again, kuro’s a broke college student. of course, he needs to work a lot. he not only has school, bills, and groceries, but he’s trying to accommodate kotoko to a lifestyle where she’s happiest in (like a goOD BOYFRIEND) and it makes me wanna cry ok

in conclusion, i just think it’s dumb to act like these two aren’t together or that they don’t have feelings for each other. it’s there. in fact, it’s probably the only constant/consistent thing in a story with a lot of moving parts. they both lead incredibly complicated lives, but they’re there for each other.

i won’t lie, kuro talks a lot of shit lmao, but i don’t get how that’s different from kotoko being overly sexual/vulgar when she doesn’t mean it either. kuro literally told her that he needs her and her response was telling him to not think he’s hot shit lololol. i get also bc kotoko’s overtly sexual (and lbr, attracts a lot of lolicons), so if she’s not being praised/not being treated like a princess by kuro, then that makes him a worse boyfriend... but he doesn’t treat her poorly. hell, that pinocchio proved that she really takes for granted that he dies a lot of her sometimes to the point with other spectres (aka the things that want to see kuro die LOL) think she (aka their god that they praise 24/7) is harsh.

but that’s what being in a relationship too is. you’re not going to appreciate someone at all hours of the day, but the point is, you have to be constantly taking care of each other, even when you don’t want to. kuro and kotoko are constantly taking care of each other, and thinking of each other’s well-being first and foremost. they might bicker, but that’s a fact that’s always acknowledged by everyone around them, despite initial opinions.

and tbh, i feel like kuro also feels a lot of guilt for rikka. maybe not for returning her feelings, but because his happiness with another person (kotoko) was the catalyst of her running away and causing havoc. i think that adds another layer to his distance with kotoko, but it doesn’t mean he has feelings for her romantically. what i really appreciate about the story is the fact that as simple as things are presented, there’s always a complex reason/backstory for it. there’s never a single moving part for anything. there’s plenty of motives and reasons.

#SUPER LONG ok u been warned #in/spectre #kyokou suiri #talk to me!#kyosuiri posts

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greenninjagal-blog · 4 years

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It’s Always Been This Way (Hasn’t It?)pt2

Hello! Did someone order 52 pages of Virgil angst, gayness, and magical shenanigans? If you missed the prologue you can find it right [here]!

Summary: After deciding not to go back to Hogwarts for their final year of school, Virgil, Roman, Patton, and Logan all enjoy living together in their quiet muggle neighborhood and doing small tasks for the Order. It would be nice, Virgil thinks, if he wasn’t actively lying to their faces every day.

Also if the Neo Death Eaters weren’t trying to kill his friends.

Words: 21,080 (and no thats not some joke)

Read on AO3 || My General Writing Masterlist

Chapter One: Liar, Liar (House On Fire)

“This is absolute bullshit and they know it!” Virgil yells to no one, as he slams the morning paper on the table.

From somewhere not far away, Patton’s voice calls out “language”, but Virgil doesn’t really register it at all. He’s too busy reading over the front page article again as if he missed something the previous four times he had read it. He flicks his wand (Cypress, 9 inches, semi flexible) across the kitchen with barely a thought which makes the coffee pot start up and his favored mug place itself under it.

It’s somewhere past eight in the morning, and Virgil still feels drowsy which probably isn’t helping his mood at all. He hasn’t gotten a full night's rest in at least three years, and he doesn’t expect to get it for another ten years. And that’s only if his half muggle born ass survives that long.

He snarls at the paper again, slamming a fist on the table hard enough that the stinging goes all the way up his arm to the back of his eyes, and that in turn ruffles the owl on the perch in the corner out of its trance.

“Sorry Logan.” Virgil breathes in deep and snarls it back out.

The horned owl titters on the perch turning towards him, blinks twice in a sophisticated way that’s made doubly effective by the strange rectangular pattern around its eyes, and then reaches out its wings. With powerful gust and a blur of brown, white, and black feathers, the animal leaps into the air. It morphs with precision, a complex series of motions that elongates its body, shrinks the eyes, and changes the number of bones under its feathers all together. Its fascinating to watch: in less than a second the air is filled by a stern looking seventeen year old with square glasses, a sharp nose, and matted dark hair that rarely appears to have a strand out of place.

But then again, Virgil thinks its fascinating every time Logan breaks the law at all. There’s something about seeing a man so rule orientated like Logan breaking those very same rules that makes Virgil’s heart flutter in that entirely unhelpful way.

“Salutations, Virgil,” Logan says, sounding exactly like he had just swallowed a muggle computer. “May I inquire what has your frustrations today?”

Virgil huffs, sliding the paper across the table for his friend. “See for yourself.”

Logan picks it up at the same time as Virgil flicks his wand at his mug and exchanges it for the one Logan favored. Logan’s still frowning at the article when both the cups come levitating through the air and set themselves on the table between them.

The Daily Prophet had never been Virgil’s favorite source of information. It didn’t take a genius to know when a reporter was being paid to report--or not report-- something. Not to mention it was practically controlled by the Ministry and that it was more concerned with sales than with accuracy.

Still, Virgil is too much of a sucker for routine to cancel his subscription to the utter nonsense. Which leads him to mornings such as this: grumbling into his coffee mug, with his illegal animagus of a friend across from him equally displeased and showing it in the way his eyebrows furrow and his thin lips squeeze together, with Patton in the other room somewhere, probably stress cleaning again (which is marginally better than when he’s stress eating), and Roman out on his morning jog through the quiet muggle neighborhood they called their own.

It’s strange, Virgil thinks, knowing that none of their neighbors are aware of the nuclear bombs that rest in each of their pockets disguised as sticks that they might have picked up in the park last Saturday.

It’s strange, Virgil thinks, that its September fourth and none of them are at Hogwarts, or even intending on going to the esteemed magic school that had been their homes for six years prior.

It’s strange, Virgil thinks, knowing that Dee’s family had helped finance the Dark Lady's rise to political power and then had started murdering muggles in distant countries and the Daily Prophet was refusing to acknowledge any of it at all.

They’d all be seventh years this year, completing the second half of their courses and preparing for the NEWTS and practicing their nonverbal spells. And maybe Virgil’s spent too much time in his own head this summer because he misses going the kitchens and tapping out the rhythmic pattern of “Helga Hufflepuff” on the barrel that would open up to the soft, cozy, and quiet common room. From the very first moment he had done it himself, Virgil had always felt a bit like he was walking home when he entered the Hufflepuff dorms, as ridiculous a notion as it was. (And he’d die before he’d admit that to anyone else.)

But even here, in Roman’s semi-modest muggle neighborhood, it feels a bit like that. He can’t pretend that he doesn’t like waking up and seeing those three again and again and again. He doesn’t want to either.

He feels guilty about it. A whole lot of guilty. For the first month of them living together, Virgil hadn’t been able to sleep at all, because he’d been so afraid of waking up, and finding the spell over them had broken.

Virgil can survive losing a lot-- he’s done it before with his mother, his home, his holidays, his sanity (on Thursdays, specifically),-- he doesn’t think he can survive losing them too. And that’s partially his fault, he supposes: his defining character trait has always been that fierce loyalty, with a more than a dash of selfishness that his mother hadn’t managed to iron out of him.

He loves the spell that was over them. He also hates that he loves the spell that was over them.

The second they found out it would be over and they’d never forgive him for using them like stepping stones.

His fingers tighten around the mug at the spiral of his own thoughts. Logan’s eyes flick up from his reading to look at him, and Virgil wished he knew what that sort of look meant. If they had actually been friends for five years, he probably would have known.

Its a little late to ask.

It doesn’t matter much because the next moment the front door opens with a loud boom and a louder voice sings the ending line of some Disney song that Virgil recognizes only because it had been in the back of his head for three days straight. (That song from that night when the four of them had curled up in the living room and Roman had tugged him into a cuddle and then forgotten to let go of him before he fell asleep with his head on Virgil’s shoulder and-- and he was blushing just thinking about it.)

Virgil makes a mistake of swallowing his coffee at the same time as Roman Prince comes tromping into the kitchen after his morning run. And hell, if it didn’t take every single muscle in his body to keep from spitting his drink back up.

Virgil has seen Roman come back from runs before: it was part of his routine that he rarely switched up and he had admitted to Virgil once that it was when he did his best thinking. Alone with his music in his ear, his wand in his pocket, and the rhythmic pounding of his sneakers on the pavement-- Virgil could see how it was appealing. If it didn’t require getting up so early, or going outside, or like...exercising, Virgil would have totally been down to run with him.

But the way that Roman comes into the room-- his shirt in his hands, instead of on his body like a normal person, glistening with sweat that seemed to drip off every single muscle which was only emphasized by the smug look on his face, his eyes sparking with his endorphins running rampid and his face still flushed from his workout--like he knew, the little shit, knew that he was making Virgil short circuit by looking like that.

Virgil swallows his coffee, with his hands around his mug so tightly he thinks it might take a crowbar or diffindo to get them apart.

Logan turns into an owl again.

(Animals don’t feel emotions quite like humans, Logan had said once and Virgil has never been able to get over that particular jealousy.)

“What's the matter, Morgan le Fretful?” Roman asks with that shit eating grin of his that, by itself, can turn Virgil’s thought process into a first graders string art project. That smile coupled with his gleaming abs and Virgil’s complete and utter gayness? Oh he’s down for the count and out of the game all together.

“Boo,” Virgil manages, “Weak.”

“I think it was a good one!” Roman responds so blithe and warm that Virgil wonders if the sun came to earth for the day. Logan flutters his feathers, which only makes Roman laugh more.

“Put on a shirt, Princey,” Virgil says, deliberately not looking at him as he says it. He steals the paper back from Logan’s place, and pretends to find the articles in it interesting and not at all offensive.

"And if I don't?" Roman's wiggling his eyebrows and Virgil can tell because the picture of Celestina Warbeck (the famed Singing Sorceress, whom Roman had once said should be the next Disney Princess) was blushing furiously and waving her face in her article.

Virgil glares at the singer and she gives him a wink like she knows exactly what his heart is doing in his chest. He changes pages as fast as he can, grabs his mug and his wand in one hand, and does not look up at Roman.

"If you don't, Patton's gonna have a hard time putting out the Bluebell flames I'm gonna--"

Virgil stops mid sentence as his eyes catch on a familiar face on the page. A face he hadn't seen in a year, but saw each and every time he had a nightmare. The paper crinkled in his hand.

"Virgil?" Roman says playfulness gone. "If it's really that much of a bother I'll put it on--"

Virgil blinks once, twice, and he swallows hard. "What? No its-- Its fine. I don't care." He folds the paper and sticks it under his arm as he convinces himself to keep breathing.

Roman stares at him (shirt around his neck like hawaiian lei). Logan gives a ruffle of feathers and touches down at the edge of the table next to Virgil's elbow. Despite being a bird, and despite the fact the markings around his eyes only look like glasses, the gaze he holds is sophisticated and knowing. Virgil refuses to look at him, at either of them. He finds a spot just over Roman’s shoulder to stare at in conviction.

"I'm fine," Virgil says again, as if that will convince them.

"You're clearly not." Logan's voice says and Virgil just barely restrains himself from batting the glasses off his face. (When the first animagus was done, why didn't they included a sound with their morphing? A bell ringing? A tumblr notification noise? Something???)

"Yeah, last time you acted like this after reading the paper, you disappeared for a day, without explanation." Roman says (and Virgil doesn't flinch, does not, does not), "So to prevent Patton from worrying all day, I'm gonna wait for an answer that's the truth."

"It is the truth!" Virgil responds. And its not a lie. Not a whole lie. Barely a partial lie. Its nothing compared to the other lies he's been telling.

And when neither of them fall for it, he lets out a defeated breath. "You guys remember Professor Remus Dukeson?"

Roman snorts, "Crazy Divination teacher? The one who ate a physical teacup in third year?”

Logan picks up a feather from the table, one of his own feathers, and twists it in his fingers, “What about him, Virgil?”

“Do you know what Alstroemeria flowers represent?”

Virgil unfolds the paper from under his arm, “He’s dead.”

Virgil doesn’t expect them to understand. He can’t expect them to. Logan thought Divination was a waste of school funds. It was the only class he didn’t even attempt to master. And Roman and Professor Remus never once got along. After the disaster of third year Roman had dropped Divination like it had been going out of style, and maybe it had. By fourth year only half the class had stuck around.

And Virgil had been one of them.

He hadn’t been particularly good at it: he didn’t like his tea without sugar, the crystal balls never once filled with smoke for him, and he mixed up the head and life lines on his during the Palmistry portion of his OWLs despite having had the class for three whole years by then. Professor Remus had mentioned he had a latent talent once upon a time, but the man had also said that Roman was going to cast a forbidden curse at Virgil and Logan was going to win a duel with Professor Sanders, so Virgil hadn’t put much merit in his words.

But seeing the teachers face, his smirking mouth, his mustache that always had something in it, and even seeing his picture shuffling side to side as he was trying to stripe which unfortunately was not a new phenomenon to anyone who took his class...seeing Professor Remus in the Obituaries with the cause of death being labeled as an unsolvable murder? Oh, there was something cold about that, something that makes Virgil’s empty stomach churn and his head feel warm, and his fingers itch for the coin in the secret pocket over his heart.

Theres a flash of red in the corner of his eye and Virgil freezes, but in the end its just Roman tugging his shirt over his head, and pushing back his sweat drenched bangs. He’s frowning, as people do when they hear someone died.

“Oh man,” Roman says, “That’s pretty awful. I mean he was a terrible teacher, but I never wanted to see him dead.”

“Agreed,” Logan says. He flips the paper to read the small written eulogy himself. “I wonder who the new teacher in his place is?”

“Maybe they brought back Trelawney?” Roman suggests.

And just like that the topic is gone and Remus Dukeson is forgotten. Virgil wishes that his right hand would stop feeling like someone had stabbed him with a thousand needles in the meantime, please and thanks.

Listening to them feels a lot like they’re standing on opposite sides of a one-way glass wall. They keep talking, the topic gone, and in a few minutes Virgil’s little freak out will have been forgotten to them. Virgil thinks he should be thankful for that: with his life on the line he really doesn’t need them to be prodding into why exactly crazy Remus Dukeson’s death matters all that much.

Crazy Remus Dukeson who would have been the only one who could have helped him out of the hole he’d been digging for himself for the past two years. But if he was dead, then there was no one left who could vouch for him when all of this was over, no one who would be able to stand in a court room and say without a doubt that Virgil had done the only thing he could have done, no one who would want to believe Virgil was a good guy.

And, of course, Logan was not stupid in any manner. If past memories hadn’t secured such a reaction as his as one of normality, then surely he would have put two and two together. Surely if he hadn’t had five years of false memories under his belt he would have realized that Virgil was hiding something behind that glass mirror of his, and that it was bad and evil and going to get them killed.

Virgil slips out of the room about the same time as Roman and Logan start arguing over whether Divination should even be a course offered at school (a debate of which has been ongoing for three years now). Part of him wants to be sad that it's so easy to just fade away from and exit the room without making them even turn from each other.

But Virgil knows how Roman and Logan stare at each other when they get into a debate, how everyone stares at Logan when he gets filled with that prim-and-proper, fuck-you fire. Outside of seeing him break the laws with ease, watching Logan get passionate is one of Virgil’s favorite sights. (Even if the first memory of it that Virgil has also includes Logan giving him a bloody nose and Patton crying--)

Roman isn’t any different. That’s why he purposely eggs the ravenclaw on, and then stares stupidly at Logan’s flushed cheeks with a cocky smirk that is absolutely impossible for Virgil to witness when the other still hasn’t showered from his run.

So really its for his own sanity that he manages to escape the room when he does.

***

Virgil is coming down from his room at a quarter after four when Patton assaults him with the brightest wand-lighting charm Virgil has ever seen performed.

“Pat! Fuck!” Virgil stumbles back on the stairs covering his eyes against the white light. “Warn a dude!”

“Virgil!” Patton yelps, “Language!” But he giggling far too much for it to come out stern. Virgil feels the other boy batting his hands away from his face, “Stop, stop that, Virgil!”

Virgil squints past the glare, “What are you--”

“Smile!”

Then there's a flash of light even brighter than Patton’s wand followed by a puff of purple smoke that practically spelled out what was going on.

Virgil coughs, waving off the smoke while Patton removes the wizard polaroid photo from his camera. His brain is working overtime trying to remember what holiday it is because Patton never breaks the camera out unless its an important date. But Virgil had his calendar in the room marked with all their birthdays, and the major and minor national holidays--magic and muggle alike because Patton had started crying the last time they forgot to tell him about Arbor Day and Virgil wasn’t ready for that to happen again in this lifetime or the next or the one after that. He’s even marked the full moon, because he was pretty sure the girl from the public library was a werewolf and didn’t want to accidentally wander outside if she missed a potion on one of those nights.

“Pat,” Virgil says in a sort of defeated, anxiety ridden tone. “What’s going on? Who’s birthday--”

Patton just laughs at him, and Virgil has to shut up at that. Patton’s laugh was like a waterfall, like bells chiming, like angels signing. Virgil would rather pitch himself from the Astronomy Tower than miss any second of his glorious happiness.

Its unhealthy. Its gonna be the end of him.

Virgil can’t help but smile at the other’s toothy grin. And if he gets a hug out of it? Well, someone once mentioned that that Virgil was touch starved, so that’s the reason he melts at Patton’s touch.

Patton shows him the picture without relinquishing any hold on him. Somehow that leads to them stumbling around on the stairs until Virgil’s sitting and Patton’s basically in his lap, fuck. But Patton doesn’t even seem to notice at all.

“It’s no one’s birthday!” Patton says, “I just was cleaning up earlier and I came across a bunch of photos from school!”

And just like that Virgil’s short lived happiness evaporates. Dread settles on his shoulders like a cloak, and anxiety wriggles straight down his throat to grip his pulsating heart. “Oh?”

It comes out too innocent. Patton doesn’t notice.

“Yeah! I got so many pictures of Logan and Roman and Me! I used to carry this camera around everywhere! Don’t you remember?”

Virgil remembers. He remembers it very well. Especially when he can see the crack on the side where the flash bulb hooked on before he had accio-ed it right out of Patton’s hands in second year and tossed it back and forth with Dee until even Logan had come to Patton’s defense. Especially when Logan had called all three of them childish and then Dee had laughed some sort of nasty laugh and tossed the camera right over the edge of the moving staircase, before linking hands with Virgil and dragging him out to the quidditch pitch for the rest of the time before dinner.

Virgil mentions none of this. “Yeah? What about it?”

Patton waves the photo in his face and, really, it's a pretty terrible photo of him. He didn't even know skin could be that pale and his hair is sticking up from where he had been running a hand through it all evening, and his irises were red from staring directly into the flash.

“I saw that we don’t have any pictures with you in them!” Patton sighed, “It’s terrible! You’ve been our friend for so many years! I can’t believe that you aren’t in any of our pictures!”

Virgil forces himself to keep smiling. It hurts his cheeks. “Well you know me…”

“So we have to take a bunch of pictures right now!”

Patton sets those blue eyes of his on him, and Virgil cannot believe that he’s 100% wizard. Somewhere someone in his family line had to be part selkie because those are definitely baby seal eyes, and who the fuck is gonna say no to them? Not Virgil!

“Okay,” Virgil says. “Alright sure, whatever you want.”

And he means it. He’d give Patton all the stars in the universe if he didn’t think removing them would make Logan lose his shit about order and necessity.

Besides Virgil has just as few photos of them as Patton has of him. So when the photo session is over and Patton’s hair was dusted purple and Virgil’s eyes hurt from the brightness and they were both crying from laughter, Virgil makes sure to snag one of the better photos for his own room.

(It was always so easy to laugh with Patton, so easy, nearly too easy. But that was okay for now.)

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Patton says, looking up from his glistening stack of pictures suddenly, “The Order is having a meeting next week.”

“Oh?” Virgil swallows nervously, “you mean like, having a meeting, here?” He folds the picture of him and Patton in his pocket, running the edge of the photo between his nail and the skin under it. (He’s pretty sure the photo version of Patton is talking the photo version of himself out of a panic attack, but he disregards it.) His other hand comes to his mouth, and he nips away at the black chipped nail polish.

Patton shakes his head, and Virgil can’t but help a sigh of relief. “Nope! No worries, kiddo! Thomas-- wow, it sure is silly to call him by his first name!-- Professor Sanders and I talked about how uncomfortable you are with anyone new in the house, so instead we agreed that it was easier for us to go to him to give our reports!”

Patton hums looking at another picture, where he had magicked up some cat ears for the two of them. “Plus it would be a pain to have to undo all those charms you set up for one measely meeting!”

“Cool,” Virgil says.

It's not really, because Virgil hates leaving the house, hates stepping into an area that could so easily be compromised, hates when he can’t be sure if he’s leading his friends into a trap or if he’s just being paranoid again. But that’s definitely better than inviting people, even the Order, into the house that Virgil had made sure was their safe haven.

But Patton takes his quietness with grace. He gives up one of his blinding smiles and Virgil is vividly reminded of how pretty he looks like this. Virgil knows that the secrets he’s keeping from them are unforgivable, knows what they did to the trio of boys is terrible and deplorable and shameful. Despite that, Virgil can’t help but feel...relief that Patton is smiling like this.

Patton doesn’t remember why he should never smile at Virgil, doesn’t remember the year after year of Virgil tearing him down, doesn’t remember what Virgil and Dee did to him. And Virgil is selfish enough to be grateful for that.

“Oh would you look at the time!” Patton says brightly, “I better go start dinner before Roman gets into the pantry again! Are you going to be joining us, Vee?”

Virgil nods, even though he doesn’t really catch whats being said to him.

“Yay!” Patton holds his new pictures to his chest, “I’ll call you when its ready then! Love you, VeeVee!”

He says it so effortlessly.

Virgil wishes it didn’t feel like a snake wrapping around his chest and squeezing the breath right out of him. Patton pops back down the stairs, leaving a cold empty space in Virgil’s lap where he used to be. He jumps the last step and gives one last wave to Virgil as he turns the corner--

“Hey, uh, Pat?” Virgil says at the last second.

Patton hums to show he’s listening, even though he’s still flipping through their pictures. “Yeah, kiddo?”

“Will Remy be there?”

Patton blinks and looks up the stairs at him. Virgil’s nails dig into the banister. Something flickers in the Ravenclaws eyes, confusion or pity. Virgil’s not sure there’s a difference at this point.

“Remy? Oh! You mean the Ravenclaw that joined the Order the year before us!” Patton shuffles the photos with a smile, “And you mean at the Order meeting, right?” He tilts his head to the side as he thinks, before shrugging and offering, “I’m not sure!”

Virgil breathes like he’s a drowned man finally come up from the water. “Uh, cool! That’s cool.”

The itch to recheck his charms hits him then. Like being trampled by a Mountain Troll.

Remy’s not a threat, Virgil tells himself.

Except that he is. Virgil had met the Ravenclaw twice before, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t acutely aware that Remy was a very skilled Legilimens.

And the last thing Virgil needs right now is someone poking around in his head. Virgil’s seen first hand what a Legilimens can do to someone: Patton looks at him with a smile instead of with tears, Roman challenges him to duels over the spot on the couch rather than to the death, Logan has no clue how attractive he looks angry out of his mind and giving people nosebleeds with his barefists.

“I do.”

No, Virgil doesn’t need someone looking in his memories, even at a glance. Not now, not when they’ve come so far and the Order is so, so very close to being able to combat the Dark Lady before she takes over the Ministry of Magic.

At best, he’ll be labeled a Neo-Death Eater. At worst, no one will ask any questions and they’ll just kill him without hesitation.

He needs to check the charms on the house, because that’s something other that just sitting on a staircase in the center of the house and having a break down where one of the others will see him.

Virgil launches himself to his feet and takes the six stairs upwards two at a time. He runs his fingers over the wall as he goes, picking at the peeling wallpaper that none of them have taken the time to fix yet. There are pictures of baby Roman and his muggle family at the beach on the walls and classical music coming from beyond the closed door of Logan’s room. Virgil moves beyond it all to his room at the end of the hall.

Well he calls it his room, and so do the others. Virgil thinks they might be a little upset if they ventured into the room that Roman had given him and found it was nearly the same as it had been at the beginning of summer break two years ago.

The window facing the street had the blinds drawn and a thick layer of dust over the windowsill because Virgil was not in the process of airing his dirty laundry or his room. The bed was neatly tucked in from his routine habit, the floor was clean and clear, his extra shoes lined up at the foot of the bed so he couldn't trip over them in the night--those were things he did to remember his mother; she always did like it when he kept his room neat. He had a total of eight outfits in the closet, which he was sure if Roman knew about he'd have a heart attack. So far Virgil had avoiding the issue by magically changing the shade of black in his shirts every other day.

The only things that Virgil had brought into the room that weren't absolutely necessary for him to have was that calendar on his wall, a collection of seventh year textbooks he had bought himself even though he wasn't going to school, his school trunk that he hadn't touched since getting off the train last year, and now, a picture of him and Patton making silly faces and laughing (very happy to be unfolded).

He slips out his wand and wanders towards the window.

The spells are all over the house, on every window, over every wall, under every carpet. Roman had put the first layer on himself when he was sixteen, and later when he, Patton, Logan, and Virgil had been inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, Thomas Sanders had come over and reapplied more of them. Once the Transfiguration Teacher had finished, Virgil had then moved in and quietly applied his own.

They were subtle differences in magic, in skill, in finesse. Virgil had smoothed over the rough edges and connected the corners that no one else might have noticed if they hadn’t gone looking for them. Every full moon Virgil had snuck around quietly checking the magic cloaking spell and then muggle deterrent spell and the silencing spells---

Needless to say the one time the girl scouts had rang the doorbell, Virgil had nearly had a heart attack. Patton had bought ten boxes of cookies with Roman’s money before Logan had managed to get Virgil to put his wand away.

Virgil had obsessively checked the spells after the girls had left until he found the loophole that had allowed the girls to get all the way to their front door. By the time he found it dinner had gone cold and only Logan was left awake to witness Virgil trip down the stairs in his haste to fix it.

Roman hadn’t even known he had been adding spells at all until Logan had tried to floo Remy Dormire into the house.

So Virgil’s first time meeting the legilimens is really not a good one. There had been something about the way that Remy had looked at him while Roman gave him the “dude what in Merlin’s name??” speech that made Virgil uneasy. Something about the way that a smile had flickered across Remy’s face and he sipped on his homemade tea that only Patton had touched, something about the way that Virgil felt like Remy had gotten inside his head without him drawing his wand, something about the way that Remy had said “It’s all cool hun! Paranoia is all part of the game!”, which made it sound like Virgil was overreacting yet again.

Something about the guy feels wrong to Virgil.

So he adds more charms to the house, ones he’s sure no one but himself and the trio of boys he lives with can get through.

It doesn’t feel like enough.

And in the end, he's right about that.

***

Their role in the Order is small really. They’re all too young to be doing anything important like infiltrating the Ministry-- except Logan, who despite choosing not to graduate from the esteemed magic school had been offered several internships over the summer which he had denied. Patton’s Uncle Kiddel had been very adamant that Patton be as far removed from danger as he could get, and while Roman had been a bit bummed at the lack of action he had jumped at a chance to offer his family’s house for their activities while his parents took an extended vacation to some place that Virgil doesn’t remember.

The combination of parents between the four of them is depressing: Roman’s muggle parents are unreachable, Patton’s are dead, Logan’s Dad took his mom to a safe place in another country, and Virgil’s mom… well, there’s an understanding between the four of them not to bring up parents unless they were trying to bring the mood down to rock bottom.

So really they are just four seventeen year olds living in the house together. Roman monitors the muggles near them, Logan handles correspondence between certain branches of the Order (although Virgil suspects that Thomas Sanders fields some of the letters before they get to them). Patton monitors the wizarding world. Virgil exists to be anxious on the edge of their consciousnesses.

He doesn’t have a job title really, but Virgil is the one who does his best to keep the rest of them alive and safe and not killing each other (which, surprisingly, happens at least once a week, when Roman gets tired of having no logical reason to practice magic and then starts charming things in the house that shouldn’t be charmed, when Logan runs out of work to do and restlessly snaps at them until a fight starts, when Patton gets too far in his head about what would happen if the Dark Lady manages to win against them and refuses to let any of them leave the room lest they disappear on him--)

So their part of the Order’s functions are minuscule.

Virgil doesn’t see why they have to go at all, but he goes with Patton, Logan, and Roman to the Order meeting all the same. The location they pick is a townhouse that magically doesn’t exist until they need it to. When it does exist, its across the country so they take the brooms there, which makes Roman so happy he cries five minutes into flying, and almost makes Virgil not hate the heights so much.

(Roman, of course, used to be a Quidditch player, a Chaser, up until he decided not to go back to school that year. Virgil used to split his attention between watching Roman’s windswept hair and Dee’s cheeky smile when the latter managed to beat a bludger just right to knock the Quaffle right out of Roman’s hands.)

Virgil sidelines those memories and grips the handle of his broom until his knuckles are white and the cold air of the upper atmosphere begs him to stop holding so tight. Patton flies beside him, naturally swerving like a lackadaisical snake with the ease that only comes with having ridden brooms since he was in diapers. Ahead of them Roman does a loopdeloop and tries to goad Logan into racing him, who in turns calls him every childish name in the book.

It takes them forty minutes to get there. Roman wins the race, and because Logan is petty, he changes the color of Roman’s firetruck red robes to a dull beige.

“Hello Professor!” Patton waves to Thomas Sanders as the older man appears on the street across from them, and because Virgil’s luck is terrible, Remy Dormire appears next to him.

“Patton,” Thomas greets them all warmly. “I’ve told you guys to call me Thomas before.”

Said Ravenclaw ducks his head sheepishly, “Its just feels so strange! You’re always going to be my Transfiguration teacher to me!”

Remy cooes at him and pats Patton on the head, “You are so adorable, hun.” He says, “Come on Bitches! Its cold as balls out here and I’m ready to hear all the juicy gossip you babes have been collecting!”

Virgil is more worried about a muggle peeking out their windows and seeing four teenagers with brooms and long cloaks so for once he agrees with the magic mind reader. The glasses on the older boy's head are mirrored, which makes it hard to tell who he’s looking at, who’s mind he’s reading. Virgil reaffirms his mental walls as he follows the others inside.

The inside of the townhouse looks pretty much like it hasn’t been used in years. There’s layers of dust on everything. Which Virgil guesses is why Remy’s face screws up when Thomas’s hand lands on his shoulder and guides the older boy towards one of the rooms. Remy shrugs his hand off as soon as he physically can, and then brushes the area on his leather jacket that Thomas had touched, like he could wipe the phantom traces of the man off it.

“Vintage Leather, Babe!” Remy doesn’t quite hiss, but it’s a close thing. “No touching!”

Thomas laughs good naturedly and Remy’s snarl fades a bit back to that condescending look that Virgil always associated with him. Roman sneezes three times in succession, and his eyes start watering and he croaks something about dust being the bane of his existence.

“Pardon me,” Logan says to Thomas, “He will be completely unhelpful until this is cleared up. Scourgify!”

It was frankly impressive. At least, to Virgil it was. Patton always got that excited look on his face when someone did magic, and Roman was too busy sniffling and rubbing his red eyes to really watch. Remy rolled his eyes and Thomas smiled at Logan when he performed the charm that left the previously untouchable room into a cozy living room with plenty of space for the six of them.

“Excellent job, Logan!” Thomas said.

(For a moment Virgil feels like he’s back in class and Logan just won another ten points to his house for being naturally gifted at forcing things to shapeshift.)

Logan blushes at the compliment, so Virgil thinks he’s not alone in the flashback.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s great,” Remy bulldozes the compliment and tosses himself on a length of sofa meant for two people. “Its time for the good gossip, girls!”

“None of us are female presenting--” Logan starts, but Remy rolls his eyes and waves him off.

“What-everrr! Pat come sit with me, babes!”

Virgil wants to drag Patton far away from Remy, but the older Ravenclaw raises an eyebrow at him like a dare. Virgil counts to four and reminds himself that Remy is part of the Order and Thomas is there and even if he is a legilimens that doesn’t mean that he’s going to read any of their minds. In fact, he’s likely there just because he got bored doing whatever the fuck Thomas has him doing.

Patton jumps on the cushion next to Remy and bounces on the seat like an excited child. Logan opts for a spot on the adjacent couch with Thomas, Roman on the floor like a drama queen who needs to be the center of attention, and Virgil ends up perched on the armrest next to Logan’s elbow where he can easily see both the fireplace and the door to the dusty parlor.

Thomas is a comforting presence, Virgil thinks as the discussion starts. He had been their professor and he had taught all of them and had been right beside them when they were sworn into the Order. He had never been cagey about this past, being a half blood from Hufflepuff who had been there that day that Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort and witnessed all the fighting first hand. He had joined the Order not long after that final battle by tracking down Headmistress McGonagall and subtly asking if there were any alternative plans for if another dark wizard started raising.

According to Thomas he had gotten the job as a Transfiguration teacher less than a year after that and Virgil really never had the guts to exist in the same room as Headmistress McGonagall long enough to ask her if that was true.

“Remy?” Logan says, after a lull in the conversation, which Virgil, himself, only realizes because Logan’s elbow slides onto the armrest and its dangerously close to touching Virgil’s thigh.

The other member of the Order takes another moment to respond which makes the hairs on Virgil’s neck raise. Remy’s hand is twisting through Patton’s hair so casually and somehow they ended up with Patton leaning heavily on Remy’s shoulder. Virgil thinks it would be weird for anyone else, but Patton likes to touch and its most likely that Logan and Virgil haven’t been providing enough of those touches recently. Remy’s still wearing those stupid sunglasses even though they are inside and its dark in here, but Virgil knows instinctively that he was reading thoughts.

Probably.

“Hmm, doll?” Remy says, “Sorry I zoned out when y’all started getting boring. You know me; I just can’t keep my focus on things when theres a cute boy around!”

Virgil wants to point out that they don’t know him, but Patton meets his gaze and Virgil loses the courage to say anything.

Right, they should be avoiding instigating a fight here.

Regardless Roman spread himself out on the ground and sighs dramatically, “I know what you mean, Rem! All these glor--”

“Remy,” Remy says, peering down his nose at Roman, “Its Remy. Or just don’t address me at all, hun.”

Virgil thinks the whole room is thrown for a moment. Remy’s tone isn’t necessarily icy or cold, and he’s still grinning when he talks, as if they’re sharing a private joke. He twists one of Patton’s curls so gently, it almost looks intimate. Virgil can see Logan’s jaw shift at the motion, and how Patton seems to be unsure if he should be moving away or staying still.

“S-sorry?” Roman says, unsuredly.

Remy smiles at him, with something that’s borderline unfriendly, “Sure, hun. Now are we done here, or are y’all still doing that small talk thing?”

Thomas shifts in his seat, “Actually there is one more thing I want to let you four know about.”

At once he has all of their attentions. Logan who had been talking the most moves to straighten his tie again, and Roman sits back up so he can see the Professor clearly. The room gets a sort of eerie feeling to it, and Virgil swears for a moment that he can see his breath in the air.

“We’ve gotten some suspicious reports about the Dark Lady and her followers.” Thomas says, “I’ve had some suspicions for a while, but we recently got proof-- thanks to Remy-- that the Dark Lady has a time turner on her.”

“A Time Turner?” Logan says, “I thought all of them had been rendered useless after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries when they were all caught in a time loop?”

“Wait wait wait, we’re saying the lady who wants to legalize casual genocide now has the ability to go back in time?” Roman yelped. “Doesn’t this mean all of our possible plans are useless then?”

"I told you, babe!" Remy sings, boredly, "All it would do is worry the poor things!" He rests his chin on Patton's shoulder, which startles a ticklish giggle from the younger Ravenclaw.

Thomas ignores him, "We're not sure what the implications are if it yet." He admits, "Headmistress Mcgonagall, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley are all discussing the possibilities of it now. I was told to advise you guys of the situation." Thomas gives them each a look, and then he smiles, "Don't worry too much about it, boys. We'll take it slow and smart and we'll figure this out."

Its a pep talk, Virgil realizes. And in a weird way, Virgil guesses he does feel a little reassured.

In another way Virgil's mind tunnels downward towards the forbidden memories of a Slytherin boy who told him two years ago that the Dark Lady possessed a means to turn back time and what both of them had done about that.

Thomas is looking at him, he notes, suddenly.

"What?" Virgil asks right as his palms begin to sweat, and his mouth tastes like his black nail polish as he forces his hand away from his mouth.

Thomas frowns, "I...well, I assumed that you would find this information a bit more surprising."

Virgil squeezes the sleeves of his jacket. His jaw creaks open, reminding him pathetically of how tense he was. "Well its like you said," he defends lamely. "We shouldn't worry too much. If the Lady already has a Time Turner, we can't do anything about it now."

Remy is grinning at him. Like the cat that caught the canary and Virgil is the very dead canary in this scenario.

“I’m sure I’ll have a break down later and, you know, over analyze absolutely everything.” Virgil hurriedly says. Which maybe isn’t the best thing to say because now Patton’s staring at him with those wide doe eyes that he makes when he wants to wrap Virgil in a hug. Roman and Logan share a look that shows that maybe they aren’t as convinced, but Thomas nods understandingly and doesn’t push it.

He stands up from the couch and addresses Roman, Logan, and Patton, “I trust you three to keep an eye on him, please? Despite the new news, the Order’s decision so far is to continue work as usual. I’ll be in touch if that changes.”

Logan stands to mirror Thomas and offers his hand. “We’ll do our best.”

Which sounds a little strange to Virgil, because really they weren’t doing much of anything. Thomas had tried talking the four of them into going back to school this year but Roman had gotten antsy about the muggle murders and had dropped out to take care of his parents. Logan and Patton would die before being separated from the Gryffindor, and of course Virgil had followed along with them.

Thomas had set them up with easy jobs and then sent them magical homework via Owl so they were still learning things although Logan seemed to be the only one who was truly excited about more homework. Its enough for now.

Virgil gathers their brooms while Roman breaks into one of his glorious tales of living life in a Muggle neighborhood, followed by Patton make a pun that makes Thomas laugh and Logan groan. When they finally stumbled outside, it’s nearing ten at night and the stars are out.

“Interesting,” Logan states with his eyes to the stars that were just barely seeable behind the halo of the streetlamps. But before Virgil can ask what exactly Logan is seeing in the stars (he had always been the best as Astronomy), Remy vaults down the steps of the house.

“Hey, Badger-boy!” The older Ravenclaw says. He’s grinning again, in a way that makes Virgil’s skin feel too loose, and his palms too slick from sweat, and his mind sing out every protection spell he knows. In the darkness his sunglasses seem even more impractical, and Virgil is left staring at his own reflection rather the other’s eyes.

“What?” Virgil answers, despite the fact he’s not wearing any of his house’s bright yellow and no one had dared call him a badger since he and Dee had put Alfred Hitchcockopolous in the Hospital wing for a day in First Year for it.

Remy laughs. Its the type of laugh that someone gives when their particularly stupid animal does something stupid and has to face the stupid conseqeunces for it.

“Nothing, babe.” He says. “Just wanted to see your face one last time.” He turns to Patton, and flicks his glasses down just enough that he shows off those golden eyes. “Stay adorable, Freckles.”

Then he flashes a peace sign at them and apperates away.

Thomas sends them on their way, with waving hands and farewells and a promise to see them soon. Roman does helix roll once he’s in the air to show off, and Logan berates him for risking the Muggles seeing them, while Patton laughs like an angel beside them.

Virgil glances back at the ground, ignoring the swoop of his stomach at the height difference, to see Thomas staring at the spot Remy had been last with a frown. As if sensing him, Thomas looks up, gives Virgil an unreadable smile, a wave, and then he too apperates away and the street is empty of all the signs they were ever there.

***

“Well that was fun,” Roman hums landing his broom with utmost ease. With a hand through his windswept hair, he turns that charming smile on the rest of them, which somehow still sparkles despite the lack of actual light. He’s a silhouette, a shadow, a half visible fraction, and yet Virgil has absolutely no trouble seeing the full on Roman-ness of the action.

“We have very different definitions of fun,” Logan notes, and turns Roman’s red robes back to a less offensive beige. Virgil bites back a smile when Roman complains about him being petty and uncreative for someone in Ravenclaw.

And if it starts a lighthearted magic battle in the enclosed backyard, well, there are no muggles out at near eleven in their quiet suburban dream neighborhood. In the flashes of red and purple and blue he can see Logan and Roman grinning like fools and he can feel Patton’s laughter reverberating through him when the other boy leans on his shoulder and watches the two quibble.

Its….happy. Virgil is happy.

Watching them like this, watching them laugh and have fun and enjoy themselves, even after they were just told that the evil force they were combating had the ability to change timestreams. They’re so resilient, so optimistic, and Virgil wishes that he could place some complicated spell on the house right here so that they’d never be disturbed and they could just exist like this happy forever.

But Virgil knows that Roman would detest being stuck to one place for forever and Logan would run out of things to do and turn bitter and Patton would wonder why they weren’t happy anymore and then come to the conclusion it was somehow his fault.

There’s no way to preserve the happiness forever. Virgil spent all of fourth year combing through the books in the restricted section for a spell that he could cast and he had come up blank.

“The best type of prison,” Dee had said, once upon a time, “is one that the prisoners do not know they’re in.”

“You really think Prince needs to be aware of a prison to want break out of it?” Virgil had shot back.

And Dee had just laughed and flipped the page of his book.

That had been before he had become a Neo-Death Eater, Virgil thinks. Because he hadn’t been wearing the skull clasp on his robes yet, hadn’t started avoiding Virgil like he had contracted Dragon Pox, hadn’t started actually using the mind magic excessively ….

Virgil’s smile slips, and Patton notices almost immediately. “Kiddo?”

Virgil nudges him with his shoulder, “‘M just tired, you know? Talking to people and all that.”

He feels the Ravenclaw laugh softly. Theres a flash of red where the grass by Logan’s feet catches fire, and the other wastes his turn of their duel using aguamenti to put it out before one of the neighbors look out their windows or it spreads to the deck where Patton and Virgil are and then consumes the entire house.

Roman laughs at him. “My house? Are you sure? Virgil’s put so many charms on that thing nothing short of an atomic bomb is going to bring it down!”

Not true, but Virgil feels himself preen at the compliment anyway. He rubs the back of his neck and knows his face is a flushed pink, but its too dark for anyone to make it out.

“Yeah, sure,” He calls to them, “Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to go overthink everything Professor Sanders just told us.”

“Professore Sanders told us--” Logan starts, but Virgil knows that tone all too well and he manages to wave it away.

“I know, I know. Nothing to worry about.” Virgil waves his wand blindly towards the door handle and unlocks it with Alohomora (a spell which only works for one of their four wands). “I’ll see you guys in the morning!”

“Goodnight, Virge!” Patton calls after him, and because he’s a good person he adds, “I’m making french toast tomorrow for breakfast if you want to help!”

“Happy Nightmares, Jack Smellington!” Roman throws in because he’s much less of a good person.

Virgil closes the door behind him. His body leans against it for a second, hearing the sounds of his friends getting back to their shenanigans. He gives it maybe ten minutes before Roman and Patton start up the cheery Hogwarts chants and an impromptu dance routine in which Logan is dragged around the backyard, trying to pretend like he still has dignity.

Its nice. Virgil fumbles through the kitchen, using the light from the magic hall sconces to guide himself down the hall and then up the stairs. The pictures on the walls of the other three laugh and rough house around. Virgil runs his fingers over the picture frames as he walks.

“Get some sleep, kiddo!” One of Patton at a Dragon Petting Zoo from second year tells him.

And Virgil has every intention of it.

He does.

But he gets to the front of his room and there’s a warmth against his chest that makes his blood freeze. His hand frantically pats his chest, pressing into the warmth, trying to determine if its real or just something in his head, please let it be something in his head, please, please--

Its not in his head. He throws himself into his room and locks it behind him. The lights stay off and he drags the curtains closer together just to make sure that absolutely no one can see inside. Then he crawls into the closet, with his breath coming out in shaky breathes too rapidly to count.

His hands shake too hard to unzip his sweatshirt all the way. It gets jammed by his belly button. The burning against his chest feels like an open flame right to his right pectoral, hissing with heat, demanding to be appeased. Virgil couldn’t have ignored it if he had wanted to.

He doesn’t want to look.

He looks anyway.

His hand opens the invisible seams of the hidden pocket right over his chest. There are only two items in it, but Virgil drops them both into his lap anyway. He kneads his palms into his eyes and forces himself to take a breath and hold it-- one second, two, three-- which is about as long as it takes for him to remember every lie he’s ever told to the trio outside.

As long as it takes for him to remember whose lives are on the line if he messes up.

As long as it takes for his hands to steady enough to pick up the coin from his lap and for the sudden heat to fade. The closet is doors are firmly pulled closed and Virgil twists his Cypress wand in his hand.

“Lumos,” Virgil whispers scarcely more than a thought. He’s sure that the sound of the dishwasher in the kitchen is louder than his own voice. He’s afraid any louder will make Roman or Logan burst into the room and demand to know what he’s doing and he doesn’t have an explanation, doesn’t have an excuse, doesn’t have an escape.

They’d hate him if they knew.

Virgil hates himself for them.

The coin is a Galleon, but despite the shiny color and the heavy weight, Virgil knows its fake. He made it after all, pouring over the details for most of two days. But it would never stand up to a Goblin; Virgil doubts it would stand up to a normal wizard if they looked for more than a couple seconds at it.

The Protean Charm on it is too strong for it to go unnoticed to a trained eye.

He told the others he collects Galleons with specific dates on them. “A half muggle thing,” He had told Patton who had taken him very seriously and started checking the dates on every coin he came across. Even now, Galleons show up on the kitchen counter with dates of their birthdays and the first day of Hogwarts and the day they would have graduated.

The serial number on the rim of the coin in his hand had changed.

It was a series of four numbers and then various letters that Virgil decoded with a slight glance at-- he had memorized the code and then burned the last key in existence after all, too paranoid to risk someone ever finding it.

It takes Virgil a second, a moment, a year to understand what date it was. For him to get his brain to work past the dread that bubbling up his throat like a bottle rocket.

And his breath gets caught in his chest when he does.

It’s tomorrows date.

Its tomorrows date and there’s no time to warn anyone without revealing his source.

Its tomorrows date and someone in the Order is going to die.

Virgil does not have a good night, or happy nightmares, and he most definitely does not sleep at all.

***

“You look like death,” Roman says the next morning when Virgil slumps on the stool at the kitchen counter. Virgil can smell his cinnamon body wash from clear across the kitchen which is entirely unhelpful in the light of things because now he’s thinking about Roman in the shower after his morning run and when there are other things to be thinking about.

“Gee, thanks Princey,” Virgil says very tiredly.

Patton is cooking bacon to go with the French toast. It’s sizzling. Does all bacon sizzle so loud? It smells so good Virgil might throw up. His stomach feels empty, but the thought of actually chewing and swallowing food makes head dizzy.

“-rgil, Virgil!”

Virgil blinks for a second, glancing up from the bacon to see that Logan had somehow appeared next to him.

“You do not appear to have slept at all, Virgil,” Logan says thoughtfully. “If it is about the Dark Lady, I can assure you--”

“It’s not,” Virgil says, which sounds like a lie even to him.

Patton, Logan, and Roman all share a look. A silent conversation that Virgil feels unnecessarily annoyed to be excluded from.

“What?” He snaps.

“No offense, Helga Hufflegruff,” Roman says, “But its not like you to be this out of it.”

Virgil flicks his wand at the coffee mugs across the kitchen, “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Kiddo,” Patton says.

“The eggs are burning,” Virgil waves him off. And for a moment it works on taking the attention of him. He takes all of one breath, while Patton squeaks over the breakfast and Roman and Logan watch on ready to jump in and help before the fire alarms go off. But the moment passes and he feels the suffocating gaze of his housemates on him again.

Granted he did look awful. The picture of both him and Patton which had taken residency on his desk had winced when Virgil had stumbled from the closet. There’s a crick in his neck that he can’t get rid off no matter how much he rotates his head and his eyes feel heavier than they have any right to be. Screw his eyeshadow, he hadn’t even put any on today.

He was still in his clothes from yesterday, and he was careful to keep his left hand in his pocket or his sleeve, because he had bitten his nails until they bled last night, though if anyone asks he’ll tell them the morning paper Owl had bitten him when he had forgotten to pay it.

“We should do something today,” Virgil says suddenly.

Which is not the right thing to say. At all.

Roman chokes on his orange juice, and ends up spilling more on the floor than he gets in his throat. Patton nearly drops his hot pan in the sink with how quickly he whips around to stare at Virgil.

Logan adjusts his glasses, “Pardon?”

“Are you sick?” Roman blurts out, rasping as he tries to dislodge the last of the juice, “Is it Dragon Pox? Scrofungus? Heartbreak?”

“Heartbreak isn’t a sickness,” Virgil squints at him.

“Additionally how would one’s heart break?” Logan asks, “Unless it was frozen with Glacius by some means--”

“People can die from Heartbreak!” Roman interjects, despite the fact no one suggested anything about dying. Virgil’s stomach churns around and the coffee on his tongue tastes stale at the thought.

“I’m not dying!” He says quickly, hotly. His fingers squeeze his mug tightly, drawing the warmth from the liquid inside it and hoping it covers the coldness that came over him.

“Yes, it seems much more likely that he was affected by the imperious curse,” Logan suggests.

“I’m not under any curse either!” Virgil hisses, “I just… I thought--” He grits his teeth, “I thought it might be nice to get out of the house.”

Entirely. And never come back.

“You never want to get out of the house,” Roman points out.

“Well I do now!”

Logan does that thing he does when he doesn’t believe something-- a mix of tilting his head and tapping his fingers on the nearest surface while his eyes rotate around the surroundings. Virgil likes to think it was a subconscious reaction: he’s actually observing the room for threats so that he could produce a working solution.

Roman summons more orange juice from the fridge and makes it pour him another glass.

Virgil twists his mug in his fingers and chances a look towards Patton. He spent most of the night trying to figure out what to do, trying to figure out what to say, what he could say. He thinks that he turned over every scenario ten times and fought off the nauseous urge to vomit all through the fourth hour that morning.

He thinks that if he can just get Patton to say yes.

He thinks if he can just get Patton to leave the house that he'll be able to keep all of them safe if the attack is at their location.

(Because that's in question too. Its possible that by some blessed fate that the dread and certainty in his stomach does not mean its going to be here thats attacked. Its possible that he's just paranoid. Its possible that when Professor Remus Duke told him he had a natural latent ability for Divination that the teacher was just spouting nonsense like usual. Its possible.)

((Virgil doesn't take chances like that. He won't. Cant.))

"Virge…" Patton says.

Logan adjusts his glasses, "Thomas told us that work should continue as normal. As such, I have several letters I must attend to-- a group in Romania is requesting the Orders help in tracking several suspicious individuals, a wizard in America got apprehended by MACUSA without proper papers, and Thomas asked me to make a list of where a certain wizarding plant can be found and I've received a pile of responses just this morning I have to comb through-- I can't just drop these tasks. Patton has already agreed to help me."

"What?" Roman says, "Why didn't you ask me?"

"I'm afraid that the thought didn't cross my mind," the Ravenclaw admitted somewhat guiltily. "But Patton has a superior knowledge of the wizarding world that I believe would be most beneficial, and-- I mean this with the least amount of offense-- I feel that if you or Virgil were to join us, we'd be more hindered than helped."

"Ouch," Roman says with wounded pride, and jabs Logan in the shoulder. "I cannot believe you think I'd be bad at answering letters! My handwriting is amazing."

"The chicken scratch you call handwriting is atrocious." Logan bats his hand away easily, "but that's not why I think you helping would be counterproductive."

“Its not?” Roman asks.

“Its not?” Virgil echoes with just enough of a teasing tone that Roman turns his coffee mug into a chicken like the disrupting asshole he is. The bird squawks the second its lungs are formed and Virgil drops it the moment the warmth turns from “warm liquid in a mug” to “living thing with a heartbeat he can feel”.

“Roman!” Logan yells, stumbling back to avoid it and crashing into Patton. They both land on the floor in a heap of limbs and cooking utensils. The chicken flaps over them, screeching something awful. Patton’s glasses somehow end up hooked with Logan’s and their faces mere inches apart and brown chicken under feathers in both their hair.

Roman’s laughter almost makes it worth it: breathless and gasping for air, doubled over and wheezing like an idiot.

It only takes a moment before Patton’s laughter joins in with Roman’s, very much sounding like the usual angels on high. Virgil watches the glorious sight of Logan’s entire face turning redder than an Hippocampus skin and immediately transforming himself into in an owl.

Virgil can’t really blame him. If he were hit at point blank by both Roman and Patton’s carefree laughs like that, he’d turn into an Owl too, regardless of if an Owl was his animagus form or not.

It takes Patton three times to turn the chicken back to a mug-- missing twice because he’s laughing too hard to keep his wand from shaking, and once because the chicken is fast-- and by that time Roman’s on the floor with a hand gripping his chest, grin wider than the fucking sun itself, feathers on clinging to his clothes and his shirt riding up his stomach just enough to be a tease. Logan transforms back long enough to move the cup from the floor to the sink, but when he turns around to see the Gryffindor, his cheeks flare back up and Virgil can feel the heat from where he is.

The bacon definitely burns.

Virgil doesn’t really think any of them notice.

He doesn’t even notice until the fire alarm goes off.

Roman groans from the floor and Virgil coughs into his sweatshirt sleeve to hide his face. A sound like that? Even with the background of a shrill alarm and the smell of smoke, it makes the room itself feel hundreds of degrees warmer, makes the whole world seem to fade away, makes Virgil want to plunge his face into a bucket of ice water.

Logan hits the smoke detector with his beak. Patton throws open the kitchen windows, giggling foolishly.

“You’re cute when you blush, Vee,” Roman says from his spot on the floor.

“Fuck off and die,” Virgil tells him.

“Aw, but your little ears!” Roman cooes, dragging himself from the floor like it was some tremendous task. He pinches the air with both his hands like he was supposed to be pinching Virgil’s ears.

Virgil’s hands immediately switch position, covering the tattletale tips of his ears. “Shut up!” He grumbles.

“Not exactly my forte, Virge!” Roman sings, “Just ask anyone!”

Logan does that thing where he lands on a surface and turns back to human, and Virgil gets a front row seat of seeing Owl talons elongate into slender legs that cross ever so confidently as he settles on the barstool next to Virgil. And the way that Logan ever so casually reaches up to loosen his tie just a millimeter?

If Virgil wasn’t blushing before, is now.

(He thinks he likes this version of Logan Ackroyd more: the effortlessly oblivious tease, compared to the bloody knuckled version that so angrily put Virgil in his place in the middle fourth year)

“I can attest to that,” Logan says, with the crease in the corners of his lips that implies a smile being hidden just below the surface, “He really does never shut up.”

“Wh--hey!” Roman gasps,”Patton! Logan’s bullying me!” He drapes himself over the smaller Ravenclaw with a dramatic flare that causes Patton’s whole face to light up. Sunlight bounces off his glasses but his eyes sparkle like the ocean on a sunny day.

“Sorry kiddo!” He says, “That’s just how he is!”

“Falsehood!” Logan calls.

“Losing battle,” Virgil nudges him. Oh god, what just came over him? His elbow feels tingly, like some sort of numbing jinx, but warm and welcome. Logan actually laughs as he straightens himself back on the chair.

(Logan laughs like he’s in a library about to be scolded for being too loud. Virgil isn’t sure what it would take for him to laugh louder. He wishes he had time to figure it out.)

Breakfast comes after that. With Patton severing french toast and Roman spilling orange juice on Logan's plate because the Ravenclaw told him he was putting far too much syrup on his and Virgil convincing Roman to shove an entire piece in his mouth just to prove that he could.

"Really attractive, Princey," Virgil says when the Gryffindor chokes and has to spit out soggy mush.

"You love me," Roman coughs.

"Yeah," Virgil says. It's a mostly meaningless statement. Because Roman thinks everything loves him, because Roman is very loveable, because it's light and witty banter and that's what they do.

Because Virgil’s thinking about the coin in the pocket on his chest, because Virgil is thinking how likely it was for him to be able to pry both Logan and Patton out of the house without a real reason, because Virgil is weighing his friends lives in his head like its just another sucky Arithmancy problem on the homework he put off until an hour before it was due.

And because Virgil is not really thinking about what comes out of his mouth, it comes out honest and true and it takes him three more blinks to realize that Roman is staring at him, with something like akin to...to...surprise?

“What?” Virgil asks, his breath hitching all of a sudden. He was tired but he wasn’t so tired that he could have started just talking out loud-- and even if he had surprise was not the thing that Roman would have on his face. Disgust, maybe. Anger, definitely. What kind of person can look at the people sitting next to him and think about how likely it was for someone on the street to kill them? How could he think about blood purity at a time like this?

But then again how could he not?

“You agreed,” Roman says, a tinge of awe.

“What?” Virgil tries again, because he really doesn’t know what is going on. Logan and Patton are staring at him too, but Patton’s smiling and Logan’s rolling his eyes and they’re tugging Logan’s plate between them in a silent argument of who gets to do the dishes.

“You agreed! About liking me!” Roman says down right giddy.

Virgil’s brow furrows, “Princey, we literally live together. Of course I like you.”

“But you said Love!”

Virgil glances at Patton for help. Patton is enchanting a sponge to wash the cups and is therefore, no help. His stomach does a flop. A flip flop. A flip flop right off a fucking cliff top.

Roman’s face appears right next to his, earnest and full and bright. Virgil thinks its like standing at ground zero of an atomic bomb.

“You never say Love. And I think if I remember correctly the last time you implied you even liked me, it was when Logan tried to cook and you got food poisoning and I gave you a bucket to throw up in.” Roman says. “So this is a big thing!”

Virgil should tell him its nothing, because even with his heart threatening to jump straight out of his chest, and his hands aching to curl in the fluff of his russet hair, and his eyes darting to Roman’s lips which for some reason are still right there next to Virgil’s own-- because even with Virgil thinking of that night years ago when Logan had given him a righteous nosebleed and he had run off and hid behind the One-Eyed Witch Statue on the third floor and had the biggest gay breakdown of his entire life--

Virgil should tell him its nothing because he’s been lying to Roman and Patton and Logan for two years, nearly three.

Virgil should give Roman’s face a shove away and make some insulting comment that will draw out those offended dramatic noises he likes so much.

Virgil should.

“I guess,” Virgil tongue warps around the words without an ounce of his permission. “Don’t go--”

“YES!” Roman hollers over him, throwing his hands in the air so suddenly that Virgil legitimately forgets what he was saying. “This is perfect! Amazing! Splendid!”

Virgil should tell him to calm down, that it means less than nothing. But Virgil threw away his entire life for them: for Roman’s celebratory fist pumping and sparkling eyes, for the quirk of Logan’s lips and the late night sleepy talks about the stars, for the taste of Patton’s baking and the feel of those tight, warm, safe hugs. He wants to dance around the word “Love” and its billions of meanings in billions of languages, because he knows that if he thinks about it for too long, he’ll realize that he loves the three of them in every sense of it.

Which, decidedly, means much more than nothing.

But there’s also that thing.

That thing where Virgil is lying, has been lying, will continue to lie, right to their faces. Which stands to be the absolute worst thing he’s ever done and if he stops it he’ll die a horrible painful wizard death and then they’ll be doubly angry with him for it.

But isn’t angry with him-- isn’t never wanting to see his face ever again-- better than them being dead? Which is likely what they’re all going to be if Virgil doesn’t do something to convince them to leave the house for the day.

Them, he thinks and then hesitates because its not really “Them”. Patton’s got magical blood: blood so pure it practically glows under his skin and his wandwork is practically flawless. Logan’s got half magic blood, too, which is half more magic blood than sad little muggleborn Roman has.

The anxious feeling of dread creeps up Virgil’s back, like a dementors fingers ghosting along his spine before it spins him around and gives a soul sucking kiss. Once the thought comes he can’t get it out of his head: the idea that if the Neo-Death Eaters show up here, and they breech the defenses that Virgil’s put up, and they catch them by surprise, the idea that they’d hesitate to hurt Patton or Logan or Virgil, but they’d execute Roman without a thought.

Virgil is staring at Roman.

Virgil is listening to Roman talk about something.

Virgil is thinking about Roman’s corpse lying on the ground in the kitchen, as a green light steals away his life in an echo of two forbidden words.

“Hey Princey,” Virgil says, trying to hide the way his entire body is shaking. “Let’s go on a date.”

Because Roman being angry at him, being unable to ever forgive him, being so enraged he can’t think about Virgil without wanting to put him in St. Mungos, will always be better than Roman being dead and Virgil having not done anything about it.

Roman looks at him and he smiles so prettily Virgil almost thinks he’d be able to forgive himself one day.

***

Virgil has never been on a date before.

It’s tragic. Embarrassingly so.

If Virgil were watching this broomwreck from the outside, he’d been on the floor in tears from laughter.

Roman bumps his shoulder casually, “Relax, Felbert the Fearful! There are no roofs around to cave in on us.”

The joke doesn’t quite land for Virgil, but he laughs anyway. Roman deserves it, at least.

For putting up with Virgil not knowing the first thing about that how one proceeds on a “date”. He thinks he watched a Hallmark movie on this shit once or twice back before...everything. He thinks that it should have given him some clue how to act, what to say, where to go. But all they do it remind him how completely and utterly bootless he is in the grand scheme of things.

Disney, of course, never really taught the whole “take it slow” sort of thing. And with magic? Forget it. He wonders how Patton’s parents did it, how the famous Weasley’s did it, how any wizard ever did it.

(He supposes that it helped that in most cases that neither partner was hiding a double life behind a cloak of fake memories implanted in the other, but really what did he know.)

They had gone shopping. Kinda.

Roman had gone shopping. Virgil had watched him try on muggle clothes again and again, listened to him complain about prices, and testily remark about color coordinating. He tried paying the girl at the cash register in sickles and Virgil got a good laugh at his face when he realized his mistake. He tried on two T shirts just it looked like he was participating his fair share even bought one, but once it was in the bag he forgot what the design had been.

(He did not forget the way that Roman’s eyes had roamed over him and the way that he had mentioned how nice it would be to see that shirt on his floor.)

Virgil wished his heart was in it, wished that he could get his shoulders to unwind, wished that he could stare at Roman for a few minutes without thinking about what an awful person he was.

They have Ice cream for lunch specifically because Logan is not there to tell them not to.

It devolves to Virgil splattering Roman’s nose with Chocolate ice cream and only getting half an apology out before Roman shovels a spoonful of strawberry into his mouth. Like a kiss. Indirectly.

Virgil wonders for all of three seconds if Roman’s tongue also tastes like strawberry.

“There’s a music store,” Roman says. “It just opened around the block. I’m sure it has some PG music for you to listen to, Edgelord.”

They hold hands. Virgil can’t tell if Roman can feel him shaking, or if he notices how distracted Virgil in worrying about something he won’t share. The music store is so muggle-like its distressing.

Virgil loves it. The musty smell of the building despite it being brand new, the feel of actual records in his hands, the beats in the background that his head bops unconsciously. Roman makes comments about the artwork on every cover that Virgil flits through, which is impressive because Virgil isn’t even looking as much as pretending to.

Its hard for him to be excited about an album of music when his friends could be in danger.

Its hard to remind himself why he needs to draw out this date as long as he possibly can to make sure that Roman doesn’t go back to the house.

They catch a movie at the local theater. Virgil doesn’t remember the plot at all because Roman throws an arm over his shoulder halfway through it. Its dark, mostly silent, and Roman smells like cinnamon and ash that somehow is very attractive on him. Virgil leans in, selfishly enjoying the warmth that comes with it.

Virgil’s eyes...close just for a second.

Only a second.

“Hey, Vee,” Roman says, “Maybe we should head home?”

“No!” Virgil snaps awake so suddenly their heads collide. “Ow! Fuck!”

Roman’s pained laughter joins him. The lights are on, now so Virgil must have slept straight through the credits. He wants to curse himself for that one. What if something had happened? What if a Neo Death Eater had tracked them all the way to the theater and crept in during the show?

The ache in his head subsides to a mild annoyance that makes his eyes water.

“Okay, wow, ow,” Roman says, “If I knew you were gonna wake like that, Stormcloud, I would have done something else!”

Virgil freezes. “What did you just call me?”

Roman blinks a couple times, “Stormcloud? Is that alright? I figured it might be nice to, uh, have a nickname that’s not an insult.” He sounds strangely hesitant, strangely unconfident, strangely not-Roman like.

“Its...fine,” Virgil says and pretends like the name doesn’t strike half a million chords in him. “Totally fine.”

Roman hums like he isn’t convinced. “Yeah well, we should get back to the house. I’m sure, Pat is making dinner.”

“Uhh!” Virgil says, “Or we could not!”

The Gryffindor raises an eyebrow at him.

“I just, I mean--” Virgil’s not good at excuses.

“Vee, you literally just fell asleep on my arm in the middle of an action movie. You’ve been unable to focus all day. I have half a mind to think that you only wanted to do this because you’re so sleep deprived that you can’t think straight.”

Virgil doesn’t have anything to say to that. There’s a stain on Roman’s shoulder from where he had been drooling. Roman presses their foreheads together and they both wince where the lumps collide.

“Listen,” Roman says, “I love spending time with you. How about we go back to the house, and throw on a movie and just...cuddle or something?”

Its not fair.

Virgil wants it so badly as whimper builds in his throat. But he doesn’t want to chance it, doesn’t want to risk it, doesn’t, doesn’t, doesn’t.

Roman leads him out the door.

Its dark outside. Its still not dark enough. The town isn’t far enough from their house, and the longer Virgil is silent the closer they get back to the house. His hands twist in his pockets, his nail rubs over the engravings in his wand.

He needs something, anything, to catch Roman’s attention. Keep him away from the house until the days over and he’s sure there’s no chance that the Neo-Wizard Nazis are going to show up and kill Roman.

“We should stop at the bookstore and pick up Logan’s order for him,” Virgil suggests.

“Logan just picked up his newest shipment two days ago, remember?” Roman says. “I dropped them and he yelled at me for a full hour.”

“Do we have milk at the house? Maybe we should get some groceries while we’re out.”

“Patton wants to go tomorrow instead. And only he knows the list. But he’ll love if we come with him.”

“A play!” Virgil says weakly.

“Hm?” Roman blinks lazily from beside him. The street lamps give him halo.

“I heard there’s a play going on!”

“There are no plays this week, Virgil.”

“I swear there was one.” Virgil says, “You know we should check just in case--”

Virgil has seen the news on the TV before: he’s seen coverage of car crashes that had lit on fire, of the forests burning in California and the Amazon, of muggle apartment buildings being swallowed entirely from faulty wiring. He’s kept a lighter in his back pocket for the longest time, for emergencies, for those moments when his wand is out his hand and needs to resort to a more unexpected muggle way of defending himself. He’s started tiny fires made of leaves in his backyard, of candles in his moms house when the summer rain storms knocked out the electricity again, of a pile of photos at his feet wiping away any evidence that would allude to what they had done.

Still watching Roman’s house explode is so much more terrifying. The blast of heat burns his body even from down the street. The noise is deafening, but the sight is ghastly: the roof of the building shoots straight into the air and then dissolves apart until its swallowed by the resulting black cloud, the windows break outward sending millions of shards into the surrounding houses, half of that ugly sofa that Virgil had fallen asleep so many times on shattered on the asphalt road barely four feet from the two of them.

Oh, its something straight from a nightmare and it makes Virgil’s stomach violently turnover and his eyes water and his heart jump straight up his throat to the back of his mouth. His limbs freeze at the sight, as if keeping from moving would keep the destruction from following. Flames lick the the inside windows, a thousand twisted toxic tongues that burned brighter than the sun in the night sky.

In seconds the building is unsalvageable and Virgil’s throat closes up like someone magicked away the very oxygen in the air.

“Virgil!” Roman yells some a million miles away from him, from right behind him, from beside him with a hand on his upper arm, tight and squeezing and real. “Protego!”

A white shield forms in front of him seconds before a chunk of the TV in the downstairs living room crushes him completely. An arm, Roman’s arm, wraps around him and drags him back from the flaming wreckage.

“Logan!” Roman screams, “Pat!”

And suddenly Virgil snaps back to the present, to the way the noise is louder than life, to the way that they stick out like sore thumbs in the middle of the road.

“Aguamenti!” Virgil shouts pointing his wand at the the neighbors hedges. He doesn’t remember drawing it or thinking about the spell, but he knows that the family of four that live there just hit a rough patch financially and don’t need to pay for a house on top of that.

By the time he looks back up, Roman is down the street and Virgil doesn’t think there’s a single thing on this planet, magic or muggle that could stop him. So Virgil, the reigning king of making poor decisions in the moment, charges after him.

(Because he knows what this is, know that houses don’t just explode, knows that Roman is about to charge head into battle. He knows that Virgil would never forgive himself from turning tail and running when any of those three are in danger.)

So Virgil-- also reigning king of mistakes and regrets--charges after him with is wand drawn and prays to deities he does not believe in that he won’t see Dee tonight.

There are three Neo-Death Eaters on what used to be Roman’s front lawn. Virgil stumbles at the sight of them, at the sight of their long black cloaks and white theater masks and the skull pendants they wore so proudly. He doesn’t think they can be more than a few years older than him or Roman, but they find another section of the house to use Bombarda on and shriek joyfully when it sends part of dresser into the next door neighbors roof.

Roman makes use of Flipendo Tria on the first one, and clocks the next with his bare fist. Virgil uses Oppugno on several flaming objects (shirts maybe? Logan’s sweater vests?) and sends them wrapping around the face of the last one before she can make any move against Roman.

“How dare you touch me, Filthy Mudblood!”

Roman punched him again. And then a third time for good measure.

“I may be muggle born, but I’ve never needed magic to fix my problems.”

It would be a good dramatic line if he wasn’t trembling as he delivered it, if Virgil didn’t need to throw protego between him and the guy he had punched because the Neo-Death Eater had managed to get his wand again, if they were acting in a movie this wasn’t real.

Roman snaps the guy’s wand in half and throws it into the fire before sprinting towards the front door.

“Patton!” He yells, “Logan!”

“Roman!” Virgil yells and lunges for him. They go tumbling to the ground, knees scraping on concrete pathway up to the house but Virgil doesn’t notice. He can’t notice, not really.

He’s too busy imagining Roman as a flambeed corpse, as a crispy unrecognizable mass, as ashes fluttering in the wind.

Roman shoves against him, frantically calling for their friends.

And the smoke robs his throat of any moisture, clogs his lungs with lead laden gases and deteriorates his vision. There’s another explosion (Virgil thinks its the fire reaching the chemical closet in the downstairs powder room) and the force of it knocks Virgil across the lawn. His shoulder slams into the grass with a popping noise Virgil is pretty sure it isn’t supposed to make and his vision goes white for all of a second as his chest flops over and his other shoulder follows in a tumble of limbs.

When he can see again Roman is right over him. He’s glowing-- kinda. The fire behind him creates a halo effect all over his body. Whatever words he’s saying, they’re lost in the buzz of Virgil’s brain as it reconnects and reboots and the panic comes back.

In the grass by his hand is a burned photo: the one of him and Patton that they took on the staircase, the one he put in his room, the one he kept.

And the fire burned him right out of the picture.

“--irgil!” Roman says, “We have to get up!”

Virgil nods dumbly at him. He tears his eyes away from the picture and grabs Roman’s forearm so he can help him get up. He smells like smoke and ashes and that Cinnamon body wash he liked so much. Virgil breathes it in and chokes on the air.

“We need to get out of here!” He says, “To the Rendezvous point! They’ll find us!”

Virgil isn’t sure Roman hears him at all, isn’t sure that Roman even remembers that they had a rendezvous point for if the base was attacked. But he doesn’t try to go running into the unsalvageable house again, so Virgil thinks that its enough.

(He doesn’t think about Patton on the kitchen floor desperately gasping for raspy breaths pinned under a flaming beam of the house and unable to move. He doesn’t think about Logan screaming as the flames swallow up his pant legs, and his sweater vest and his hair. He doesn’t think about them yelling for them and Virgil dragging Roman away from the fire and leaving them to die. He doesn’t, he doesn’t, he doesn’t--)

Away. They need to get away. Before a Neo-Death Eater shows up that they can’t beat.

Down the street. Virgil’s eyes are watering, his heart is thumping, his thoughts are screaming.

Somehow he still manages to see the enemy before they see him.

Its just that Virgil has absolutely terrible luck. It’s just that the shock makes him forget Its just that Virgil freezes with half of a hex on his tongue, when his eyes catch on the other figure. Or more specifically, his wand.

Virgil doesnt know a lot about wands, but he thinks he knows more than average. Patton always did have a habit of rambling about his hobbies and wand making happened to be on that list. But even before that, Virgil would know that wand blindfolded: Elm, nine inches, with a rougarou hair core.

And he'd know it by the way it never quite looked like it fit in the hands of its owner.

Said owner, who was staring at him like he was the biggest idiot to ever grace the earth, someone who had been hit with confundgus until he couldnt remember his own name, someone who for some absolutely idiotic reason, decided not to curse a Death Eater the moment he saw one holding a wand at him.

"Virgil!"

Virgil feels the spell blast by him, missing his ear by mere inches. The Death Eater is almost as lucky: the spell hits the black Honda Civic behind him and explodes outward. The Death Eater is launched back towards them rolling across the asphalt, but his cloak took most of the damage.

“Confringo!” Roman shouts again, and another blast of a spell goes out.

"Protego!" The Neo-Death Eater counters and for a moment Virgil doesn't see the shield go up, doesn't see a way for him to escape the spell.

Virgil grabs at Roman's arm, because it's the only thing he can think to do, and the last half of the flame veer to the side just enough that the enemy can scramble to his feet behind his shield.

"What are you--" Roman snaps, fiery and hot, and demanding of Virgil.

"Adorable!" The Neo-Death Eater cooes at them, "You actually thought those flames could hurt me?"

Virgil feels feverish just hearing that voice. Its a slippery eel of a tone, something sinister and mocking and Virgil knows it too well. So does Roman. So does everyone.

Its the voice he uses when he's scheming, when he's hiding something and wants you to know it, when he's got the upper hand in a conversation.

Its the voice that is undeniably Dee’s, and no one else's.

“Ekans,” Roman growled.

“Guilty as Charged, Prince,” Dee Ekans smiles like snake oil and mistrust, “I take it you saw the Fireworks? They were a bit disappointing for my taste, but then again all things muggle usually are.”

“Sectumsempra!”

Virgil mouth tastes like ash. Roman’s wand slices the air like a sword, like a knife, like death, and the green spell flies towards Dee faster than Virgil can react. (He knows what that spell does: they’ve all heard the rumors around Hogwarts of the Potions teacher that created a curse that killed from bloodloss, they’ve all heard how it can’t be cured and how Severus Snape took the countercurse with him to the grave--)

Dee throws himself to the side. He’s not smiling anymore, not when the spell shreds the flaming car behind them. His hand moves to the side of his face, the left side of his face, where some part of the magic had skimmed him and left a precise line that welded with cherry red.

Roman raises his wand again, and this time Virgil leaps in front of him.

“Virgil!”

“Patton, Logan,” Virgil gasps out but he cant remember when he stopped being able to breathe. The world threatens to start swimming so he grabs Roman by the forearms to steady himself. “Patton and Logan.”

Dee hisses violently, “Don’t worry about your blood traitor, Little Raccoon. My father invited him for a stay and when he leaves I’m sure he’ll want nothing to do with you.”

Virgil squeezes Roman’s wrists, but Dee’s face is too proud to be lying about this one.

“Be more worried about the owl.” Dee’s grin came back, a blinding white in the fire of around them. “Last I checked only one wing had been broken, but Mother does move very fast.”

Roman roars and lunges forward, but Dee presses his bloodied fingers to his lips and blows them both a kiss. By the time Roman gets around Virgil, gets close enough to grab the Neo-Death Eater that is Dee Ekans, the Slytherin had twisted up in his cloak and disapparated into a black cloud of smoke.

Virgil wants to throw up. Distantly he’s aware that there are sirens ringing, and he knows that means that Muggles are on the way.

He should be terrified, but all he can feel is relief. Patton is alive, Dee had said so. He was full wizard, a pureblood, from a pureblood family. He was alive for now.

Virgil grabs Roman by the back of his shirt, “We have to go.”

Roman slaps his hand away, “Why did you do that?!” The flames dance behind him, giving him wings of fire. Somehow his breath his hotter than them. “Why did you stop me from killing him?!”

“We have to go, Roman.” Virgil ignores him, “Logan needs us.”

“Ekans deserves to die!”

“Roman!” Virgil yells, “It’s time to go,” He tugs him towards the end of the road, “I’ll explain later.”

“No!” Roman slaps him away again, “You’ll explain right now! I’m so sick and tired of not knowing what the hell is going on in your brain! Why did you stop me from hitting him? He’s the bad guy, Virgil!”

“We don’t have time for this!” Virgil says he grabs on to Roman again, yanks him towards the end of the street. Roman fights him every step of the way, smelling like ashes and cinders and charcoal.

“Answer me!”

“You are no good to anyone in wizard jail, Prince!” Virgil snarls back.

“Bullshit!”

Virgil wants to take a swing at him, wants to yank his wand out and litter him so full of spells that he can’t move a muscle until Virgil finds Logan and gets all three of them somewhere safe, wants to cup Roman’s jaw and tell him everything between rough lip-biting kisses.

“You’re always doing shit like this!”

Virgil doesn’t do any of those things. He drags both of them into the community park and the wooden area beyond that. The heat between them blisters his fingers, stinging and burning and telling Virgil that its not worth it. But Virgil is a Hufflepuff, and Hufflepuffs are a loyal sort of people. And really that is Virgil’s biggest flaw.

“Running off, being secretive, pretending to be happy when you obviously aren’t--”

Roman gets a hand under Virgil jaw and shoves him up, up, and away. Virgil hits the ground with this tongue between his teeth and tears threatening in his eyes.

“Roman!” He snaps, spitting blood from his mouth.

“Whose side are you on?”

Virgil’s body freezes.

Roman stands over him, moonlight shadows painting his face. His wand twists in his hand. He’s always been dangerous, Virgil remembers suddenly, with the effortless magic in his veins and the endless spell knowledge in his head and the whimsical creativity in his words.

“Virgil,” Roman says breathless, and he looks angry. Rightfully so. “The only one of us who would have both the information and the opportunity to give our location to the Death Eaters, is you.”

“What? Why would I--”

“You wanted me out of the house.” Roman says in an accusatory tone that makes Virgil’s blood slow in his veins. “You wanted me--the most powerful of us-- out of the head quarters, for a day of activities you weren’t even enjoying, and on that same day my house is blown up.”

Virgil scrambles to his feet, but he still feels off balanced, “It’s not like that--”

“Isn’t it?” he hisses, “You pestered us all last week about what charms were set up around the house! You said you were adding more! How do we know you didn’t take some off?”

“Because I didn’t!”

“You’re a master at Charms.” Roman snarls, “It would have been a sinch!”

And Virgil doesn’t know what to say to that. His hand slips into his jacket pockets, just barely resisting the urge to go for the hidden pouch over his chest that’s numbly cold--

Roman shoves his wand at him. “No! Hands out of your pockets, Storm.”

“What?”

“You heard me!” Roman said, stepping around him, like he’s some dangerous wild animal and Roman is the hunter come to put him down before he hurts another innocent person. “Did you or did you not give information to the Death Eaters? Did you tell them our location so they could kill us?”

“Roman!” Virgil takes a step back, his hands come out of his pocket and he starts wondering if maybe he should have been reaching for his own wand, after all.

Roman looks angry; he looks like the fire that had eaten up his house. His hold on his wand is so tight, Virgil can see the red oak wood threatening to split. Small sparks dance at the edge reacting to Roman’s anger. No muggles would be out here in the woods, and the neo Death Eaters should still be dancing around the bonfire of the house. The only person who would come was possibly Logan, and they didn’t-- Logan wasn’t--

There was no one to stand between them, or direct attention away. For all intents and purposes they were alone in the world.

“That date was just a ploy,” Roman growls, “A ploy that I fell for!”

“No!” Virgil wants to list all the reasons why it wasn’t just a ploy.

But that of course isn’t the problem here. The problem is that it was a ploy in the first place. It was a ploy that Virgil made and took advantage of Roman to get him to follow in it.

Virgil tongue feels swollen, and he isn’t thinking. He knows he isn’t thinking. Because the next thing out of his mouth is the biggest mistake he’s ever made: “When have I ever done something to purposely harm you guys?”

“I don’t know, maybe every single school year up until fourth year--”

Roman stops.

Blinks.

“Every single school year up until…” He repeats, and Virgil feels the cannonball of dread in his stomach swell until shoves its way up through his lungs and up his throat.

He’s imagined the way it happens a million times. Each one worse than the last, each one dangerous and bad and terrifying. Still the sight of Roman’s copper eyes turning purple and the light that drifts off him like an angelic aura is worse than all of them. Its his nightmares, come to life, and it’s staring at him with a murderous expression.

“Roman?” Virgil whispers, and maybe there’s a faint hope there that he’s wrong and the spell over him hasn’t broken and Virgil hasn’t lost the only thing he’s had for the past two years.

“These are false memories,” Roman says. It feels like a slap in the face. “Why are there false memories in my head?”

Virgil’s mind tells him to run, and to run fast, but his body doesn’t move an inch. Not even to breathe. Roman had effortlessly used Sectumsempra against Dee, and Virgil is weaponless against him. He needs to get out of there, before either of them do something they’re going to regret.

But at that moment there a sound of something tumbling through the branches above them, and Virgil looks up out of instinct.

Its an owl, and it looks like it hell. Virgil lunges to catch it before it hits the ground, because even in the moonlight he’d know that white and brown and black pattern anywhere.

“Logan!” Virgil calls, slightly more than horrified because he’s no owl expert but he’s pretty sure owls wings aren’t supposed to do that. There’s blood too. Virgil doesn’t know what to do with blood like this. “Roman! Roman I need--”

He stops when he sees the the other hasn’t lowered his wand. “Roman?”

“Avada--”

Virgil doesn’t hear the end of it. All he sees is the green light and then…

And then there’s just darkness.

***

Dee had told him on the first Train Ride to Hogwarts about the Sorting Hat.

“It uses Leg-ili-men-cy,” Dee had said holding up identical Chocolate Frog Cards with Salazar Slytherin on it “Thats a type of magic. It reads your thoughts and figures out where you’d best fit.”

Virgil had been so happy to be a Hufflepuff. He had never thought it was going to end up being a death sentence.

***

“-nnervate.”

Virgil blinks his eyes open groggily. His whole head feels a bit like it was stuffed with tissues, like that Christmas that he spent sick out of his mind and Dee had shown up in the fireplace with more pumpkin pasties than he could carry and sugared butterfly wings for his mom, like that time they had hung out over the summer when Dee had wanted to practice for his position as Beater on the Slytherin Quidditch team and Virgil had dragged out his old baseball supplies only have Dee accidently beam him in the head on the first throw, like that time when Roman had cast a killing curse at him and Virgil hadn’t even tried to move out of the way.

And suddenly the fogginess of his head gives away to absolutely panic and its the cold type that surges through his veins freezing over his muscles and making his lungs work over time for air that only comes in every third heave. Its the panic he remembers and hates because its only happened once before and that was the worst day of his life.

He needs his wand.

His hand doesn’t even reach to his chest, not to mention across his body to the inside of his left boot where he normal keeps it. It takes him a moment to realize its not his lack of coordination, not his lack of focus nor disconnected thought process struggling to comprehend what was going on: his arm was being prohibited from coming forward by a rope.

Whats more is that when Virgil looks up too slowly putting together the pieces, Roman is standing over him with Virgil’s wand in his hand and an angry look on his face.

It feels like a nightmare; one of his worst ones yet. Its the version where he can’t wake up. The one where Roman has his wand and he’s been dragged somewhere he doesn’t recognize (the woods? Some woods somewhere?) and he’s been tied up because they can’t trust him and--

And Virgil can’t figure out why he’s alive at all.

He knows what curse Roman sent at him. The bad taste in his mouth and the tingling pain in all of his limbs shows he knows it. The object anger in Roman’s expression is just further confirmation.

And yet, Virgil’s still alive, his pulse fluttering like a pixie’s wings as he desperately tried to come up with an excuse, an explanation, something that he can say that wouldn’t get him killed.

“Hey, Storm,” Roman says with a mockery of a smile that makes Virgil flinch. When was the last time he called Virgil by his last name? Fourth year? “I’m glad to see you alive.”

“Ro- roman,” Virgil gasps. He presses his back against the tree as if he can melt into it. The rope scratches at his wrists. Roman leans closer, and he’s always been taller but its never been threatening until now.

“Wanna tell me why there’s a bunch of fake memories in our heads?” Roman suggests with the end of the wand.

Virgil can’t tear his eyes from the tip, the glowing red that lies there ready to spark whenever Roman wants it to. Virgil’s watched Roman do spells for years; he knows how easily magic comes and flows through him and a wand. Even if it wasn’t through his own wand, he rarely ever messed up.

Is that what happened? Roman made a fluke with the killing curse and now Virgil was still alive when he should be dead?

Virgil’s tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. Pulling it off will probably make his mouth bleed.

“That was not a rhetorical question, Virgil,” Logan’s voice says icily from beyond the wand.

Virgil pries his eyes away from the wand, to where Logan is standing half turned away, with his arm in a makeshift sweatshirt sling and his clothes rumpled and blood crested. There’s a table in front of him where he’s looking at several things with his good hand and his wand is sticking out of his deep pocket like it was just another day out of class. A breeze blows through the trees.

It looks like it should be a happy place.

Virgil doesn’t think he’s ever been so terrified in his life.

“I-”

Roman looks at him impatiently. “You-?”

He wants to say he doesn’t know, but thats a lie. He knows why there are fake memories in their heads, has known for nearly three years. He’s known and lied and he’s so sick of lying.

But if he doesn’t lie, he has to tell the truth.

And the truth will kill him. Literally. Virgil can feel the stinging pain of his forearm, the burning warmth that he isn’t sure his brain is just making up.

He squeezes his eyes shut pressing his back against the bark of the tree he’s tied to. His voice is quieter than the breeze through the leaves. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Roman scoffs, “Did you hear that, Logan? He says he can’t tell us.”

Logan doesn’t answer so Roman lunges forward to grab Virgil by the front of his jacket and hauls him to his feet. Virgil’s knees threaten to give out but he forces himself back against the tree again, getting as far away from the Gryffindor as he can.

(He still smells like ashes, like smoke, like death and danger, and an enemy--)

“I can’t believe you, Storm,” Roman snarls at him, “All this time you were pretending to be our friend, pretending to be more than a friend, and then you turned right back around and fed information to the neo wizard nazis? Who does that?! Other than you, apparently?”

“It’s not like that!” Virgil wishes he kept silent. His eyes are burning with the desperate need to stop the tears from falling, but he doesn’t think he’s been doing a good enough job.

“Tell me what its like then,” Roman challenges.

And Virgil’s mouth snaps shut. His tongue tastes like blood again. His whole mouth tastes like blood.

“His jacket,” Logan says distantly. “He never goes anywhere without that jacket.”

Virgil’s chest constricts, “No.”

Logan glances back at him, then at Roman and without even saying a word they both nod.

“No!” Virgil squirms back into his hoodie, as if he can make himself smaller or make the jacket stick to his back. “Please! Roman!”

Virgil had been smart when he made his jacket. He had been smart when he shielded it with charms to ward off rain and mud and soda. He had protection against cuts and scrapes and fire. Honestly Virgil could charge into battle with nothing but his jacket and most likely come back unscathed from the amount of spells he put on it.

But he's not stupid enough to think that between Logan’s endless knowledge of spells, Roman’s creativity in making new ones, and their combined level of determined spite, that his charms would do anything more than delay the inevitable.

It takes them twenty minutes.

Virgil’s wand flicks in Roman’s hand and then Virgil is left shivering, tied to a fucking tree, begging uselessly for them to stop. His jacket phases right off him, like it was made of some ghost material that existed in a secondary dimension where they can see it but not touch it. Virgil doesn’t understand beyond the fact that its wrong.

“Accio,” Logan says.

His jacket-- the one his mother had bought him, the one that he had painstakingly stitched back together after every adventure with Dee, the one that he had enlarged every time he had outgrown it because that jacket was his safety blanket-- his jacket sails right towards Logan and lands over Logan’s broken arm’s shoulder.

Virgil’s voice is raw. “Guys, please. Stop--”

They don't stop.

Virgil almost wonders what his life would be like if they did.

“Logan,” Virgil repeats, “Logan, please, don’t--”

“Specialis Revelio,” Logan says ignoring Virgil entirely. His wand waves over Virgil’s jacket. And Virgil can’t tear his eyes off the interior pocket he had charmed away from normal eyes, that glows red in response to Logan’s spell.

Logan doesn’t even look at him as he flips the jacket over and tears the patch open. Maybe if he had he would have hesitated, even just a little. Roman crosses his arms, squeezing Virgil’s wand in his hand. Virgil shakes his head, blinking back those unhelpful tears, and the whimper thats climbing up his throat.

“What is he going to find?” Roman demands.

Virgil wishes the rope was just a bit longer, just enough that he could bring his hands up to his ears and block out the accusatory tone.

Logan pulls out the Galleon, and rubs it between his fingers for a moment. Virgil’s breath catches at the sight of it, his dark bangs tumbling into his eye sight and his gaze losing hope when Logan says quietly, “Coin Collecting.”

He doesn’t sound surprised. He doesn’t sound like anything.

“There’s a Protean Charm on this.” Logan says in that same cold tone. “And the date on the border...this is yesterday’s date.”

Roman snarls, oh god, he snarls. Virgil’s chest seizes at the sound. He’s been crying for the past several minutes but that's nothing compared to the absolute dread that floods over him.

“It’s not like that!” Virgil says, “Guys, please!”

“Isn’t it?” Roman growls, “Who were you talking to?”

“I wasn’t--”

“Roman.” Logan interrupts, and Virgil’s stomach drops out.

Because he knows what's in Logan’s hand now, what can make him take on that face, so pale, so horrified.

He knows deep in his heart that the past two years were never going to end quietly but this is something worse. This is his nightmare, this is the scene that keeps him up at night, keeps him terrified of falling asleep and risking seeing that sort of expression on their faces, except this time there is no gasping awake, no pinching himself until his vision blurs and he’s staring up at the ceiling of the guest bedroom in Roman’s house.

Roman’s hands shake as he takes it from the Ravenclaw, that single little paper, worn with age and love and desperation folded into eighths and hidden in his pocket a million times over.

“You--” Roman says, and, oh god, those brown eyes rage with a fury so much like the fire, full of so much hatred, that Virgil feels it from where he is tied up. Roman can’t finish the sentence, and that’s as scary as what else he could have said.

Its a picture. The picture.

Its thirteen year old Virgil and thirteen year old Dee and its Virgil biggest mistake.

“You’re still friends?” Roman’s voice shakes just like his hands.

“Its not what you think!” Virgil repeats like a broken record, his eyes burning, his voice begging, “Please it’s not--”

Roman rearranges the two wands in his hand and flips the picture around and pinches the top on either side of the fold and gives just a quick jerk of his wrists--

“ROMAN!” Virgil screams. “NO! Please! No, please don’t!”

And the picture--

He thrashes against the bindings, and the sound he makes is not human. Its a scream, its desperation, its absolute terror and panic. His eyes blur with tears, and his lungs beg to be allowed to inhale again, and his arms are sticky with blood and burning around the wrists where his movements caused the rope to slice his skin and, and, and.

And all Virgil can see is that picture in halves on the ground between them. One half him, one half Dee, and their winter scarves twisted together so that the yellow and green are on both sides and their arms linked just enough to show off those handmade sweaters.

His knees go weak and Virgil ends up on the ground, without being able to drag his eyes from the way Dee had smiled four years ago and never again.

“Repario,” Virgil whispers desperately, despite the fact he doesn’t have a wand and he’s never had enough skill to perform wandless magic. “Repario, please, Repario.”

His chest heaves, shuddering his entire frame with the pleading gasps and wish, wish, wishing the halves back together because despite the fact that he knows the picture like his own face in the mirror, he needs it to not be torn apart, not be ruined, not to be unrecognizable.

“Please, please, pleasepleaseplease,” Virgil sobs, “Please don’t... take it from me...please Repario, Logan, please!”

He tugs on the bindings again, and his head drops to his chest, vaguely aware that he’s soaked and shivering and this is the longest he’s gone without his jacket since he was ten, and that he hasn’t cried this much since he had last hugged his mom and she had said that she was proud of the man he had grown into and the friend he would die for.

“Why should we do anything for you?” Roman demands, “You got Patton-- he’s-- and Logan’s arm--” Roman blows his breathe out of his nose like a Chinese Fireball, “You’re a Death Eater!”

“I’m not,” Virgil hiccups, “Please, I swear!”

Roman’s foot slams down on the pieces of the photo and grounds them into the forest floor.

Virgil blubbers his way through another series of pleading that falls on deaf ears. His fingernails dig into his palms, sticky with blood from his wrists. He tugs uselessly at the rope again, as if it had somehow become loose in the past three seconds. Snot runs down his chin, and salty tears burn his eyes and irritate his neck where he can’t wipe them off. His shoulder blades ache, but its really nothing compared to how the cavity in his chest seems to gnaw at him from inside.

Then Roman is right in front of him, dragging him off the ground by his shirt collar and forcing Virgil to meet his gaze and the tip of a wand, Virgil’s own wand, digging into the soft flesh under his jaw.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, stop, I’m sorry--”

“Shut Up!” Roman snaps.

And Virgil’s mouth closes, but the whimper escapes just enough that Roman gives him a violent shake. The back of his head hits the bark of the tree, and Virgil remembers those hands that had held him as they fell asleep on the couch with movies playing, those hands that had caught him when he fell off his broom in sixth year, those hands that had pulled him out of the way of the Whomping Willow-- those same hands were very capable of of crushing his trachea without magic at all.

Roman backs him up until he’s pressed against the tree and Roman is the only thing holding him up.

“How long have you been feeding information about the Order to Dante Ekans?”

Virgil whimpers.

“Tell me!”

“It’s not like that,” Virgil hiccups, “I swear Roman--”

“Don’t swear to me!” Roman’s fist tightens, “You and that snake put false memories into our heads! You made us believe that we were friends for who knows how long! I can’t believe we trusted you! I can’t believe I really thought--”

He lets out a breathy laugh, that’s void of the warmth he’s known for, “So tell me how long you’ve been a traitor, Storm, or I’ll leave you here for the wolves to enjoy, bite by bite.”

“I--” Virgil squeezes his eyes closed but it does nothing to relieve the feeling of being burned alive by the other’s eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t...Roman...p-please you...have to believe me.”

“Give me something to believe!” Roman hisses between his gritted teeth, the wand jabs him in the jaw, but the whatever magic Roman’s trying to produce won’t come out because its still Virgil’s wand and unicorn hair cores are as faithful as they come.

Roman throws the wand to the side and instead hooks his other hand on Virgil’s collar. “I haven’t heard a single reason why I shouldn’t believe you aren’t a Death Eater or why we shouldn’t leave you tied up right here.”

God, if Virgil wasn’t terrified before, he is now. Because he’s lost a lot, and he was prepared to lose some of it, but he’s never been alone. He’s never not had someone to have his back, never not had someone to remind him what he was fighting for. The idea of Roman and Logan simply apperating away and abandoning him in the middle of this forest by himself causes his lungs to stutter in complete horror.

He doesn’t care if they hate him. He doesn’t care if they keep him tied up, or frozen over with petrificus totalus, just as long as they take him with them.

“Virgil!” Roman yells, and Virgil flinches, at the loudness of his tone, at the closeness of their bodies, at the sharpness of his canines. He’s got to be delirious from terror, because he’s pretty sure Roman’s eyes are rimmed red and there’s lift in his voice that sounds like he’s pleading for the truth.

Virgil doesn’t know how else to apologize to him, so he says the same words again and again and again.

Then all at once he feels it.

The feeling of someone shoving their hand directly into his brain, ripping apart the muscle at each wrinkle. There’s no precision to the attack; its bloody, and violent, and unpracticed. Claws that thrash and slash and its not like Dee’s soft touch. And that alone triggers Virgil’s urge to vomit.

The walls come on instinct: practiced instinct, muscle memory. They’re strong and thunderous and built out of critical necessity to protect and defend. The claws scratch at the barricade dragging along the stone like it can out run Virgil’s ability to set it them up.

“Virgil,” Logan’s voice comes from somewhere far away, strained, tired. He doesn’t say to let him inside, but Virgil can hear the unspoken words.

Of the two of them Dee had always been better at Legilimency and Occlumency. He had to be. Virgil wasn’t great at either, but they had practiced every night for a year, and then Virgil had done it by himself in the following years, and that had to count for something, didn’t it?

“S-stop!” Virgil sobbed, “Logan!” His hands yank the rope again pulling as far as they can but he can’t get anywhere near his own body, much less where Roman is holding him up.

“Let him in.” Roman commands, “Virgil, let him in!”

Logan isn’t a practiced Legilimens. In fact Virgil bets he’s barely done this more than twice, and even then he needs to use a wand for it. He’d get tired long before Virgil’s walls would come down.

Virgil blames his own unstability. He blames it on the rising feelings he’s harbored for Patton and Logan and Roman and he blames it on Dee leaving him with them. He blames it on the feeling of Roman’s skin so warm on his own freezing, on the touch of Logan in his mind which disregarding the raw, rough edges of the claws, still feels like the raven haired ravenclaw and Virgil still wants to hoard those touches and keep them for himself. He blames it on the fact that he’s wanted to tell them for years now, and that he doesn’t want them to hate him, and, and, and.

And Logan’s claws leap upward and Virgil’s walls are a second slower then they should have been.

Virgil feels his throat burn with his own stomach acids and memories flash by his mind’s eye, tearing them apart as it goes, searching ever so violently for the memory that explains why Virgil is the way he is, as if his whole life hasn’t been building to this outcome.

Virgil snatches them away from Logan, snatches and stashes and saves those tiny bits behind secondary and tertiary walls before Logan can get to them. Again and again and again until Logan is bruised and battered and Virgil can’t breathe and they’re standing in--

The living room he grew up in. His pictures on the mantle with both him and his mom and three of them emptied where the pictures stolen away. The coffee table has three mugs of tea on it and magazines about the city and the remote that was missing a battery because Virgil had stolen it to put in his secondary Xbox control earlier.

His mom is there, hugging him tightly, “I’m so proud of you, my little storm cloud. I’m always going to be proud of you.”

Virgil tackles Logan out of that memory.

Grocery store. Virgil’s been staring at the cereal for five minutes. His wand is in his boot, and his hands are in his jacket. Clenched into fists.

“Pardon me, young man? Would you mind helping me reach the great value box up there?”

Mom. She smiles at him. She doesn’t know him.

“Yeah, sure. This one, right, Ma’am?”

Another person, a shadow from the end of the aisle, No, no, no, not here--

Virgil locks the rest in a black box. Logan doesn’t fight it.

“Don’t you dare try to take this from me, Ekans!”

Anger. Angry. A challenge. Mistake. Mistake. Mista---

“Lo--Logan!” Virgil gasps.

“Nasty little fates,” The professor mutters, “Nasty indeed. Do you know what Alstroemeria flowers represent?”

“Logan!”

“Face each other! Grip your right hands!”

“Please!”

Fourteen year old Dee is staring at him. Their hands are clasped tightly, and thin stream of red wrapping around their fingers weaving them together. Professor Remus’s wand doesn’t shake. Virgil doesn’t hesitate.

“I do.”

Virgil goes limp in Roman’s arms. Seven feet away, Logan stumbles back further, tripping over a tree root and hitting the ground almost as hard as Virgil does. Maybe harder with that broken arm of his. Virgil’s not sure from how intensely his own body shakes trying to get rid of the vile feeling of someone else being in his head.

He lets out another sob, yanking on the rope and falling as far forward as he can. Roman’s embrace isn’t comforting, but its something. His throat feels dry and eyes burn and he wants to get his hands on that pesky time turner that caused them to do all this just so he can stop himself from ever being born in the first place.

“You--” Logan says. He’s pale, paler than before, paler than paper, paler than the ghosts at that stupid castle. “You made an Unbreakable Vow.”

And whatever slim reserve, whatever dignity, Virgil had left, breaks and he’s gone.

(Next Chapter)

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#lamp #dlamp #anxceit #prinxiety #hogwarts bois #Hogwarts au #IABTW(HI?)#Working title: It's Always Been This Way (Hasn't It?)#attempted murder #spellcasting #mind reading #time turners #ravenclaw!logan #ravenclaw!patton #Hufflepuff!Virgil #gryffindor!roman #Ravenclaw!Remy #sanders sides

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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Since no one talks about it and everyone is hellbent over "good parent Asmodeus" I wanna know your take on the abuse and manipulation asmodeus did on Magnus... Both before the show timeline and during it it is a simple request no pressure hbhby

hoo boy okay let's buckle up for this i guess. warning for emotional, psychological and physical child abuse ahead everybody, stay safe

seriously im halfway through writing this answer now and this got very very dark so like if these are triggering to you, please skip this one

okay so as all abusers i think that asmodeus was a master at using Magnus' previous trauma, ie his mum's and stepfather's death, against him. Magnus had just lost the person he loved most, almost been murdered, and killed his abuser, as well as losing everything - he couldn't support himself and i have the feeling that he was so terrified after his stepfather's murder, so convinced he was a monster for it, hell, he still is even in show canon, he might have just fled. and then we have a homeless Magnus living on the streets, guilty and terrified and utterly alone

and he's convinced that his mum's death is his fault, his stepfather told him so, said he was a monster, a demon, and that's why she had killed herself. and then he murdered his stepfather, thus, in his head, becoming the exact monster his mum feared. his mum was right. he was a monster. a murderer. a demon. he was everything he feared and she hated him and she was right to hate him, too-

and i think asmodeus deliberately waited until he was at his limit to show up. i mean he's gotta have been keeping tabs on Magnus, he was his all powerful son after all, his heir, his weapon. there's no way asmodeus didn't know exactly what was happening, and i think that he deliberately waited until Magnus was within an inch of his life, exhausted, starving, almost depleted of magic, shivering and cold and crying alone on the street, before showing up. so Magnus wouldnt question him. so Magnus would feel indebted to him. so Magnus would feel like he needs him

and when he does rescue Magnus, boy, he makes this whole show of taking him somewhere safe, giving him plenty of water and endless food, covering him in blankets and getting him nice feeling clothes, cleaning him - just the most and best of everything, to really emphasize the difference, really make it seem terrifying to ever be away from him again, when clearly, without him, he was nothing

and asmodeus would have explained it all to him, say that his stepfather was right, he was a demon, like asmodeus was. Magnus would be so scared, "he tried to kill me," and he'd be almost flippant about it, "oh, mundanes. it's what they do. they hate us." he'd thwarp what happened with the stepfather deeply in Magnus' head, make it seem like his stepfather's abusive behavior was normal, just what they always did, and that magnus' anger over it, his righteous anger, born of fear, and the need to survive, was an overreaction. the proof of his demonic heritage - of the evil inside of him. proof that he was the same as asmodeus, that he should turn his back to his humanity

and Magnus is confused, and hurt, and scared, because simultaneously his stepfather was bad and tried to kill him and that is proof that he can't trust mundanes and that asmodeus is all he has- but he also didn't hurt Magnus all the other times before, he never mistreated him, all these times he hit him or his mum and called them dirty and disgusting, no, that was nothing much, that was normal. it was magnus' anger that was out of place, proof that he was a monster, was a demon, was like asmodeus. should stay with him

we know that asmodeus wanted Magnus because with his magic he could have even stronger power blah blah blah so im guessing that asmodeus' plan was basically to train Magnus, bring him to his side, wait until he was mature and strong, and then try to defeat Lilith? so for that to have you know not happened Magnus would have to have banished him when he was still a kid, but anyway, that's another can of worms and I'll get to that (probably)

so he needs to turn Magnus away from the mundane world, make him want to come to edom, possibly convince him that he cant be happy in edom because Lilith wont help him, and then have him kill Lilith? and so he has to convince Magnus that mundanes are bad, going to hurt him, and that he doesnt belong with them, and so that's the narrative that he builds, normalizing his stepfathers' behavior, reminding him that even his mum didnt love him, because he wasn't a person, wasnt human, and they'd never love him as he was, and he didn't love them, either. no matter how much magnus' heart ached for his mum, and his friends, and his dukun tutor, asmodeus kept telling him that he didn't love them, couldn't have, because he was a demon, and they were beneath him. and if Magnus asked too many questions, got too confused, fought that idea too much, he'd lash out, scream, almost burn Magnus wirh the terrible dark fire of his magic

and Magnus was terrified and would hide, and he'd be like, oh, my little thing, I'd never hurt you, don't you see? that was just my magic, of course i wouldnt hurt you, im not like them. and then hed hug a trembling, shaking Magnus, who had no idea what was real anymore

eventually this started to intertwine with ideas of royalty too - you are too good for them, Magnus, you are a royal, you have a right to everything your heart desires, and they treated you like trash. you have to forget these stupid mundanes. they're beneath you

and he definitely made Magnus kill/hurt more people, possibly threatened him, said that he needed to get stronger, to stop caring so damn much, because Magnus has always been kind, and eager to help, and ultimately good, and asmodeus needed to destroy that. so he pushed and pushed him, told him that he was weak if he didnt do what asmodeus said, and that asmodeus would do it himself. that he'd leave him again, and how would that be, huh, being homeless again, would his precious mundanes have mercy? would they care? no, they'd leave him to die and spit on his face, and yet here he was, pitying them. like a whiny, weak baby, not the royal asmodeus expected him to be

and if Magnus still didn't quite manage to satisfy asmodeus, because he took too long, cried too much, pleaded too much- then he'd get punished. i think that punishment came basically in the form of magic depletion/exhausting him. Magnus is freakishly good at holding back from magic depletion, has sustained his magic and pushed way past his limits many times throughout the show, sometimes for full uninterrupted minutes. i think thats why. because asmodeus "trained" him to be able to, with his punishments

he possibly used that as an excuse - since you insist on being so weak, we have to make you stronger. so he'd make Magnus use his magic for hours at a time, no breaks, until he was shaking and trembling and crying with the effort, and then he'd leave him depleted and exhausted and have him recover on his own. that's what you are without magic, he'd tell him. nothing. do you understand now? why you can never be like them? do you want to end up like this for the rest of your life? I worry about you, Magnus, i really, really do. kill this stupid sentimentalist mundane side, before it kills you.

Magnus said, without magic, i feel like i dont matter. And don't get me wrong, i think the show made it pretty clear that magic is a part of warlocks, that without it they are incomplete, unhappy. but the fact that he specifically said i feel like i dont matter makes me feel like this is something that asmodeus drilled into his head. without magic he was nothing. and he really wasnt, because that's all asmodeus wanted him for

magicless Magnus? asmodeus despised him. for the whole time he was recovering from the magic depletion, asmodeus could barely spare him a glance. he was cruel about it, too. what? aren't you happy that you're like these mundanes you love so much? I'm just treating you as such. and then, when his magic started to come back, when he managed to do a trick- asmodeus would change completely. smile wide. hug him. that's my boy! and it would seem like asmodeus loved him, and everything would seem okay. when he had magic, he mattered, he was important, and asmodeus loved and took care of him. when he didn't, asmodeus wouldnt even touch him, wouldnt want to eat with him, would barely talk to him

so the prospect of losing his magic was terrifying, and sometimes Magnus would plead with him, please, dad, no training, i promise to be good, i dont want to be without my magic. and asmodeus would say why are you so worried? it's just training. and Magnus would say, because i always end up without magic. and asmodeus would snap, well, you aren't supposed to, do you think I'd push you over your limit on purpose? you were supposed to be able to handle it, but you aren't, you're weak. why do you think i get so disappointed? i want you to be strong, Magnus, like you're meant to be

that was always what he said, too, in canon. when he gave Magnus his pretzel, he said, for your strength. he didn't care if Magnus was well, or happy, or if he fucking liked pretzels. only that he was strong. and that is definitely a trope here

anyway! at this point asmodeus is already telling him about going to edom, about how he'll be safer there, away from people, happier. and Magnus is terrified, because he doesn't want to be away. he loves people, and most of them arent bad. he loves food. he loves music, and art, and architecture. he loves seeing the world. he loves learning languages and seeing new animals and plants and cultures. he doesn't want to be away from the world. he doesn't want to be with asmodeus

and asmodeus, of course, has carefully kept from him that other warlocks exist, that theres a warlock community out there, because if he knew that, then he'd have an alternative to being with asmodeus, even with his whole mundanes will always hate you blah blah blah speech. but there's only so long he could keep this from Magnus, right? he can feel other people's magic through the ley lines, they can feel his. it was only a matter of time.

i think it was ragnor, honestly, the first one he met. ragnor who told him, kid, there's a life out there, we're alive and we're many and we're happy, and we're there for each other. there's an alternative. and Magnus could cry with relief, because he didn't want to be with his dad anymore, but he was so terrified of being alone and on his own again

so he throws himself into studying, telling asmodeus that he wants to know about demonic magic to go to edom. and he learns about his weaknesses, and what a banishment is, and how to do it. and so when he's about to hit his maturity, he tells asmodeus he wants to visit. and because portals dont exist yet, he has to make this whole elaborate thing- and he tricks asmodeus, sets a trap, i dont know, and instead of simply taking them there, he banishes asmodeus, and stays

and so he goes and finds that weird british old man, and asks him if he can go to the warlocks' place. and ragnor chuckles and tells him that the world is the warlocks' place, that they're everywhere, that he'll teach him. and so he takes Magnus to meet other warlocks, and join the community, and start working. he still loves mundanes, and plus, after all the bad he feels he's done for them, he wants to help. so he lives among them and makes friends with them and dates them and works among them and gets wealthy, and grows, and he's somewhat happy, even if most of the time he has to hide what he is, even if he still feels lonely and bad and like a monster, a killer, a demon. but he got rid of him, and he can, maybe, become something else, if he tries really hard to find his humanity again, and make up for his mistakes, and the pain he's caused

i think asmodeus is responsible for most of the guilt Magnus feels, for a great part of his immortality blues - after all, thats what most clearly separates him from mundanes, makes him different, unable to be a part of their world - and for his feelings that hes a monster. he tells alec he hopes alec doesn't think less of him because of his father, because a part of him still believes that being asmodeus' son makes Magnus like him. he says he's ugly and dark, because asmodeus convinced that's all he could ever be. he has a huge resistance and pain/exhaustion tolerance because of course he does. and he tries to sacrifice himself all the time because hes convinced that he doesnt matter and doesn't belong, that no one would miss him because they cant love him, because hes different. and that was all definitely planted on him by asmodeus, and later watered by camille ofc

#ask #pastaingallday #long post #like really long #abuse tw #child abuse tw #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #physical abuse #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #angst #overflowing trashcan #meta #sh meta

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galaxy-bread345 · 4 years

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Part One: Where’s The Foundation

This is an analysis of Jak/Keira’s relationship in the Jak and Daxter series specifically why I think it doesn’t work. This analysis only covers the first three games and potentially Jak X if I feel up to it. I will not be going over The Lost Frontier cuz I don’t see it as canon and I have no desire to analyze it. I will try to keep this analysis as unbiased as possible but understand that I have biases and they may slip through.That being said if this is a important ship to you and you don’t want to read someone being critical of it, don’t.

Ok, lets begin with the first game The Precursor Legacy. Its established early on what everyone character archetype: Jaks the main protagonist/ hero, Daxter is the comic relief/ sidekick sorry buddy you are, and Keira is the smart friend/ love interest. As we see in the first cutscene upon meeting Keira both boys are obviously infatuated with her. Daxter tries his hardest to flirt with her throughout the entire game to no avail. Keira states it very clearly: she doesn’t date animals and shows blatant disinterest to his flirting. Jak doesn’t flirt with her, hes very quiet and shy around her. We know hes interested in her because of his body language. When she flirts with him hes blushes and becomes very nervous, looking everywhere but at her. He stares at her when she gets the Blue Sage’s machine to work with a dopey look on his face. At the end of the game, Jak and Keira try to kiss which is rudely interrupted by Daxter cuz hey they just saved the world why not celebrate by kissing your crush?

This sounds good, right? There’s just one problem: there’s no indication of a working friendship. After reviewing all of Keira’s dialogue it can be broken down into three parts: 90% of it is talking to both Jak and Daxter about the zoomer or helpful advice on how to complete tasks, 5% is responding to Daxter with a sassy remark to his flirting and the other 5% of it talking to Samos. There is only one time she directly talks to Jak and thats when she tells him to be safe after pleading with Jak and Daxter to go save her father. Keira talking about a “brave adventurer” and batting her eyelashes at Jak is a direct remark to him while answering Samos’s question but not what I would call having a conversation with him. Neither of them talk to each other or act like friends would. There’s no jokes, no activity that they both are interested in that they do together. They have interests that are associated with each other with her being a mechanic and him racing presumably. She’s not involved in his shenanigans with Daxter and he never tries to get her to come along on the adventure. She is essentially a helpful and friendly person and I hesitate to even call her a friend. This goes for both of them. Jak doesn’t go out of his way to understand her projects and he helps save her father because he’s not an asshole not yet at least he cares about Samos and wouldn’t want anything to happen to him regardless if he was Keira’s father or not.

Their interactions with each other revolve on the other providing a service. For Keira, its someone to test out her zoomer and to be able to work on tech. The journey isn’t personal to her until Gol and Mia capture her father and are threatening to destroy the whole world. It wasn’t personal to her when Daxter got turned into an ottsel and him remaining an ottsel doesn’t heavily effect her either. She uses the opportunity of the boys needing to travel for them to test out her zoomer. She isn’t upset at least in the beginning or even distraught over what happened to Daxter. Tbh, the only one who seemed mildly upset over what happened to Daxter is Jak. Samos isn’t so much upset as rather disappointed that they didn’t listen to him. He jokes that if Daxter were to remain an ottsel then he could take care of the village rat problem so not much sympathy there. For Jak, he has someone to give him the technology to travel and the advice on how to complete tasks. His interactions with her revolve around acquiring tools and information. Its a service that anyone can do if they are a mechanic or understand the area. So there isn’t anything keeping him emotionally invested in knowing her as a person. In a hypothetical scenario, if Jak were to leave and go on an adventure he doesn’t need Keira so long as he has someone with the tools and information to help him. We know there are other ways of traveling, mainly by boat and there are older people who have more experience and knowledge of the terrain than Keira. She is a teenager much like him so there are going to be other people in the world with a more comprehensive knowledge of it because she has not lived long enough to acquire that information and experience.

Simply put, there is nothing keeping them together as friends. Good relationships require a good friendship and the ability to communicate with each other. They don’t do that. What they have is shallow interest in each other because they find the other attractive and useful to their own benefits. It would be incredibly easy to write Keira out of the gameplay and have her dialogue be given to another character which does not support the idea that Keira and Jak are close to one another. On the other hand, if you were to write Daxter out of the game it would change everything. Partially because the goal is to change him back but also because Jak’s friendship with him is a central aspect of the game. Jak, even though it was accidental, is the reason Daxter is an ottsel. It was Jak’s idea to go to Misty Island at night to explore it. It was Jak’s idea to continue to wonder around even though there were lurkers in the area. It was Jak who pushed Daxter into the pool of eco. Jak made a mistake but he then tried to fix it because he cares about Daxter as a person. He cares about him as a friend. Even though it got him in trouble he still went to Samos because Samos knows more about eco than he does. Even though changing Dax back meant fighting monsters and putting himself in danger he still did that. Even though changing Dax back meant crossing a bunch of terrain and doing tasks he might not have liked i.e. mucking through boggy swamp, dealing with giant spiders, suffering the cold of the mountains because dammit he needs powercells. RACING OVER OPEN LAVA TWICE AND DEFEATING A ROCK MONSTER WHO COULD HAVE EASILY KILLED HIM IF IT WERE NOT FOR ECO!! Jak went out of his way to help Daxter and even before all that the game already establishes them as friends because not only do they converse and have direct conversations with each other but they also have similar interests (adventuring/ exploring) and are established as hanging out to the point of Jak’s Uncle seeing Jak without Daxter causes him to question where his friend is. And its a two way street. Daxter looks out for Jak. He didn’t have to sit on Jak’s shoulder and also put himself in danger. We know he’s cautious because he is constantly pointing out danger and advising against doing something stupid/ reckless. He helps collect the materials they need to power the zoomer. It would be very easy for Daxter to argue that due to the fact he is now a tiny animal that he should stay in the village, out of danger ,lets something tries to eat him. The biggest thing of all is that Daxter never holds Jak’s mistake over him. After realizing that they need the white eco to defeat Gol and Mia, Daxter agrees even though this could mean he stays an ottsel for the rest of his life. Yes, it was a life and death situation but after the fact Daxter never brings it up. (If this fact is wrong please inform me, to my knowledge Daxter never brings it up.) He never gets angry or upset or even blames Jak for what happens. They both know it was accident but that wouldn’t stop Jak from feeling guilty over completely changing Daxter’s life. It wouldn’t stop Daxter from feeling angry and hurt over suddenly no longer being human. Jak and Daxter are friends and continue to be friends regardless of what happens because they are emotionally invested in each other. They don’t need a service from each other but rather they actively choose to be there for each other. This is what makes Jak and Daxter’s friendship believable and Jak and Keira’s not. This is why in the The Precursor Legacy Jak and Keira’s relationship doesn’t work because there is no solid indication of a working friendship to begin with.

In the next post I will go over their interactions in Jak 2

#jak and daxter #jak & daxter #character analysis #Jak #keira hagai #daxter #samos #jak/keira #ships #me writing about relationships #also me let me just write an entire paragraph dedicated to jak and daxters friendship #cuz its sweet #I dont know if the keep reading link works on mobile #if it doesnt pls let me know so i can fix it #i want to make this easy to scroll past for the ppl who dont want to read this

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the-flocking-murder · 4 years

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER

(there was an image under that too text but I wanted to improvise.)

1. FIRST NAME: Velli/Vellichor is fine.

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I may or may not be a monster fucker. No one will ever know.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Uh. Be alive. Thats my one requirement.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Mozzarella sticks. They may kill me before life does but I'd eat them forever.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Cooked spinach on its own. And brussel sprouts. Disgustin.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: I love the night. At least in the summer... When its warm and I can just walk around the park. Though the mosquitoes are a pain in the ass.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: If it's not my birthday suit it's sweatpants and a big t-shirt.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: I have one. And hopefully will only ever have one. I love them with my whole heart and have been in this relationship for 6 years.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Leave my father's house sooner. I love him. He wasn't the problem. But the stupid bitch he bunked with was.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Oh certainly. But you gotta be close or I dont give a rats ass about you. Sorry. Unless you're in critical danger. Because

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Disney's Hurcules. Enough said.

12. FAVOURITE BOOK: Haha......

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: One big phat monitor lizard.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Haha..............

15. PIE OR CAKE: Bumpkin Pie.

16. FAVOURITE SCENT: What kind of wack ass question is this.... But uh. Petrichor unironically.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: I dont understand why people have crushes on unatainable people. No.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Home.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Depends.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: You dare question my power? (Yes.)

23. DREAM JOB: Art. Who could have guessed.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Go to school, get a house and a car. Then die happy.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Uh??? I dont remember them.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: These secrets are better left unknown.

Tagged by: || @nithhaiahh

Tagging: || Whoever feels like doing it at all.

#@ meme #mun stuff #mun #ooc

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asmo-ds · 3 years

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Hi! Im sorry for bothering you! How would the brothers react to an mc who is soft, smol, innocent, kind to everyone. But that also comrs with being a huge ditz and trusting everyone, and doing anything anyone says? Cuz thats me lol. Thank you so much!

omg sweetie you’re not bothering me! I liked this request a lot cuz I'm the same for the most part so it was easy for me :)

w/ Ditzy!MC

- oh no, oh dear, ohhhh boy

- Needs to protect the poor babi

- His blood pressure is rising with the second

- When sees MC easily trusting his brothers he is glad but oh my Diavolo was he horrified

- They were demons who eat humans, why were they trusting the brothers so much

- WHY DID THEY TRUST BEEL AND MAMMON SO MUCH

- When Belphie comes out of the attic and reveals how he tricked MC he honestly isn’t surprised

- When he and MC start dating he gets even more protective and is sure to mark him and scent them so no other demons even think about touching them unless they want to face his wrath

- When MC accidentally trusts a demon who then tries to eat them, he is so mad he almost gives birth again

- He is going to have so much fun with them

- He is able to lure them into his schemes pretty easily

- But when he realizes they are nothing but nice to everyone they meet he feels very guilty and tries his best to keep them out of his dirty work

- He makes sure to leave his scent on them before they even get romantically involved with each other because if anybody touches them they’d have to deal with him so he figured this was the best way to baby sit effectively

- He finds it adorable how sweet they are and is swooning every time they speak

- they’re like a sweet ditzy anime character omg

- He compares them to every ditzy anime character to ever exist

- But when he realizes Mammon has been using them to do his dirty work, he is raging

- He will try explaining to them what he’s doing and they seem to be listening, but then the next day they’re back at it

- Throws hands with Mammon at one point or another and begins to listen into their conversations for Mammon asking for “favors” from the human

- Has them wear his sweatshirt in public so nobody even thinks about trying to fool them or even breathe in their direction bc this is HIS smol human and they will not get hurt on his watch

- He doesn’t trick them into doing anything bad really, just asks them to help with some of his more innocent pranks on Lucifer

- Scents them to be sure nobody asks for any “favors” that could hurt them

- They’re too nice and he’s too cold so they balance each other out

- classic “the angry one is only soft for the sunshine one” situation

- Baby proofs everything he has in his room because they can’t seem to understand how dangerous everything he owns is

- “Satan what’s this book about?” “hm, what bOOK MC DONT TOUCH THAT-” they got cursed again lol

- Ohhh my god he LOVES MC and wants to corrupt them so bad

- Like he wants to do things MC has never even heard of

- They’re so oblivious when he flirts though, so he was a bit saddened by that, but then he gets nervous about their safety and begins to coddle them more

- He may be feminine and the third weakest of all his brothers, but that doesn’t mean he isn't hella powerful,

- so whenever someone teases MC (even if MC doesn’t realize it) is going to have to deal with him, and it wont be pretty

- He is kind of the same so watching these two together is adorable but worrying

- Beel may be a bit oblivious and too trusting, but he has never once forgotten he’s around evil, but it seems MC does that a lot so big teddy bear baody guard Beel comes out

- He walks them everywhere and scents them so that nobody will even look in their direction

- If he sees MC talking to a demon that looks like their up to no good he was stand behind MC with a murderous aura and mouth threats to the demon before they give up and run

- If MC gets sad about the demons always avoiding them he feels guilty, but he knows it’s for the best and will encourage Luke, Solomon, and Simeon to spend more time with the human

- Oh he was so happy when he first met the kind human, they were a ditz and perfect to manipulate

- Stupid human helped him out of the attic without a single doubt that he wasn’t going to hurt them

- After the whole killing them thing though he reflects on how easily they trusted him and he begins to cling to them

- If anybody even breathes a words about a favor that has a hit of mischief he’s dragging MC away and has a murderous gaze at the demon that says “sleep with one eye open”

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morbid-n-macabre · 5 years

Text

This one is local for me. The perpetrators are in my approximate age group, I was 16 when this occurred. Most of us locals who remember when this was going on hold a seething resentment towards this group of punks, and for good reason. Let me tell you why...

So, The Lords of Chaos were a teen militia group who did their very best to terrorize Fort Myers, Florida back in 1996. This crime spree ended with the murder of the very much loved and respected Riverdale Highschool band director, Mr. Mark Schwebes. The teacher was a truly good and decent human being who went out of his way to help the kids around him. Sadly, his killers knew this and used it to their advantage.

The Lords of Chaos lived in one of the more remote areas of Lee County, a place called Buckingham. The group consisted of teenagers with ridiculous nicknames: Kevin Foster was the leader who referred to himself as "God" (yep, the sociopath had a bit of a God complex), Pete Magnotti was "Fried", Derek Shields was called "Mob", and Chris Black was a bigger boy referred to as " Slim". Those 4 were the main members of the gang, but there were others who were less involved: Thomas "Dog" Torrone, Chris "Red" Burnett, and Craig Lesh. The only one in the group to have a criminal record was their leader, Kevin, albeit mostly driving offenses. His parents owned a local pawnshop so Kevin had access to an arsenal of weapons which he was apparently not taught to respect; the weapon which would be used to commit murder, a 12-gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun with an equipped suppressor, had been a Christmas gift when he was just 13. Kevin is described as charismatic, homophobic, racist, and bigoted; he was enamored with the cult leader David Koresh, serials he'd seen on television like Norman Bates, outlaws such as Billy the Kid, and the homegrown terrorist Timothy McVeigh. Kevin wanted to do something big to catch a name for himself, he wanted a reputation; the rest of the group had no problem with following his lead.

This group's crime spree appears to have begun at the end of March when they stole a couple of Jeep Cherokees. They drove the new vehicles out to Lehigh Acres and set them on fire, just sat and watched them burn. Next, Kevin filled a Coke can with something which resembled gun powder and attached wires to it with duct tape; said can was placed on a shelf in a Walmart pharmacy. Kevin then called the store and told the employee who answered that there was a bomb inside; panicked shoppers were evacuated, police flocked to the store, it was a mess. This group did their best to destroy everything they could; they spent their time searching for things to steal, random windows to break, or places to set fire to.

On the evening of April 13th the Lords of Chaos decided to vandalize and rob a restaurant called The Hut. This restaurant happened to have an outdoor patio where customers would sit and eat, and there were two beautiful macaw parrots kept in a large cage. When Kevin heard the two macaw parrots talking, he decided to light them on fire. Macaws are not stupid animals, they're very intelligent parrots with a lifespan which rivals ours. Thankfully one of the birds did somehow survive this, but it lost its mate.

At midnight on April 20th Kevin decided to do something big, it was the anniversary of the Waco siege. The group drove to a historical landmark, our Coca-Cola bottling plant, one of the only original bottling plants in Florida. While Kevin carefully filled a soda can with gunpowder and stuck a 25 foot fireworks fuse inside of it, his buddies strategically placed stolen propane tanks all around the building; they carefully ensured that once Kevin's bomb went off, the whole building would blow. Once it was all set up, the teens sat in a safe spot across the street and watched the explosion; firefighters did their best to put out the fire, but our beloved historical building was lost.

So, it's probably obvious that all of this really upset people, by this point the entire county was beyond angry! A local reporter wrote an article about the ongoing vandalism, and said article was very insulting towards the group of punks who were responsible for these terrible acts. The group read this article, and it only added fuel to the fire, so to speak. In turn, they wrote a manifesto which they had intended to mail off to our local newspaper, the News Press. For whatever reason the manifesto was never sent; nevertheless, it read in part:

"Lee County is dealing with a formidable foe, with high caliber intelligence, balls of titanium alloy, and a wicked destructive streak. Be prepared for destruction of biblical proportions, for this is the coming of a NEW GOD, whose fiery hand shall lay waste to the populous.

THE GAMES HAVE JUST BEGUN, AND TERROR SHALL ENSUE..."

The spree continued with the robbery of a woman named Emory Shields; Emory was not only the owner of a small restaurant called Alva Country Diner, but she had been one of the teen's landlord. After robbing Ms. Shields, they stole her vehicle. At one point the gang took a trip to the Edison mall in hopes of stealing some clothing. They attempted to let off a grenade inside Dillard's, but thankfully it was a dud. Next, Kevin and his buddies decided to attend Grad Nite, which is a big deal for highschool seniors because they get to run around Disney World throughout the night. Kevin had a plan to steal one of the character suits and shoot up Disney, to kill as many teenagers as possible, but thankfully he chickened out.

On April 30th the teenagers drove to their own school, Riverdale, with the intention of trashing it. They stole several things, set off multiple fire extinguishers, then filled up a bottle of bleach with gas and threw it though the highschool's auditorium window. Riverdale's beloved band director, 32 year old Mr. Mark Schwebes, caught the group outside. He confiscated all of the items which they had stolen from the school, and threatened to tell the resource officer. Kevin knew that once the vandalism inside the school was discovered, the teacher would put two and two together and the group would be busted; he decided that the band teacher had to die before that could happen.

The teens found Mr. Schwebes phone number and address by calling 411. They dialed the teacher first, to ensure that they'd obtained the correct information; after hearing Mr. Schwebes voice, Kevin, Pete, Derek, and Chris Black all jumped in their vehicle and drove over. Kevin knew that the teacher would answer his door for a student he recognized, and since Derek had been a member of the band, that's who was sent knocking. At approximately 11:30 pm the teacher opened the door for his student, and Kevin immediately shot him in the face with his aforementioned 12 gauge. It's said that Mr. Schwebes probably never knew what hit him. When the teacher hit the ground, Kevin shot him once more, this time in the buttocks because he wrongly assumed Mr. Schwebes to be homosexual. The group didn't even bother to pick up the spent shells, they just left them at the scene.

There's really no telling what else would have happened or who else would've been hurt or killed had this group not been caught when they did; it's said that they had been planning to rob a local Hardee's restaurant when they were finally caught. Thankfully they were braggarts, and one of the teen's girlfriends couldn't keep the secret, she went to the police.

Craig and Brad faced no charges, while Tom and Chris Burnett both took deals; they plead guilty to lesser crimes and received very little punishment in exchange for their testimony against the main members of the group.

Chris Black, Derek Shields, and Pete Magnotti all pled guilty to first degree murder. Pete received 32 years imprisonment while Chris and Derek are serving life. The only one of the group to go to trial was Kevin Foster. On June 17th of 1998 Kevin was sentenced to death; he has appealed his conviction, but recently it was undecided if the penalty would stick. From what I understand there was a new trial in which Kevin blamed his upbringing for his actions and asked that his own life be spared. It was decided that Kevin will ultimately be put to death by the state of Florida.

*I think it was Dateline which aired a two hour special on this case, I would link it if I could find it. This special kinda irked me because, idk, it almost seemed like the man who covered it fell in love with Kevin. It made the small-time gang leader out to be more than he was, like he was this highly manipulative cult leading criminal mastermind, which just wasn't the case. Kevin wasn't well known, there was no big following, he was not a force to be reckoned with. In all actuality Kevin Foster was a nobody until he and his buddies came up with a menacing name, vandalized our city, burnt parrots alive, and murdered an unsuspecting teacher who would've kicked his butt had he not been ambushed. If you're interested in knowing more, there's a really decent book about the case, "Someone Has to Die Tonight" which is worth the read.

Sorry for the opinions on this one. This whole case upsets me, and if you know me at all then you are already aware that I am a parrot person. Some obsess over cats, other dogs, for me it's parrots; I have 6 of them. My husband is still ticked off about the Coca-Cola plant.

This is a link to Mr. Schwebes sibling's blog. She's a Rabbi, and these are her feelings about the murder, and the new penalty trial which Mark's family has recently had to endure-

https://barefootpreachr.wordpress.com/category/thats-life/mark-schwebes/page/2/

#true crime community #thrill killers #cult #killer kids #Florida #fort myers #true crime #true crime blog #morbid n macabre #murder #school shooter

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