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#im not calling them the batfam fuck you

martyrbat · 10 months

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alfred in wonderland – batman tales: once upon a crime

[ID: a watercolour of Batman and several of his associated allies about to spring into an attack to save Alfred! All the characters are in their superhero costumes. Damian al Ghul is on top of a giant green dinosaur while holding a sword. Zatanna has her magic wand held up and ready to charge! Dick Grayson and Jason Todd are just standing there, next to Bruce in the centre. Jon Kent, still as a child, is floating in the air and has his fist outstretched in front of him! Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle are on the front lines and are nearly blocking the others behind them in their eagerness to fight. END ID]

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spectral-honey · 2 years

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Tim never becoming robin but his parents still dying and him taking over Drake industries as a teenager which turns out to be actually very successful somehow and then uses that exclusively to fuck up lex luthors evil plans

“Oh, did you want that weapons contact? Turns out I made a deal with those guys last week, better luck next time!”

“Lex! You wanted to hire that tech specialist? I just set him up with a great job working on a project overseas, oh I can't quite remember where he's located now! Looks like it'll be a while until you can get in touch with him!”

“The company I just bought was producing an important machine piece for you? Unfortunately we had to discontinue that item due to some errors, you know how quality control can be.”

“Guess what! I just bought the rights to a very important type of laser technology and I'm suing everyone who uses it without permission! Just business, you understand!”

And of course lex tries to kill him but he keeps being saved just in time by various superheros (he probably has someone's personal cell number or an alarm he wired to go to oracle & the watchtower)

Just civilian Tim doing mental warfare with lex and heros being like "stop antagonizing supervillains!!!!!" And Tim being like "what? I can't hear you over the sound of lex coming to kill me again because I outbid him for his security chief"

#tim drake #red robin #batman #without a secret identity in need of protecting tim fully commits to being a chaotic force as CEO #the heros are like WHY are you doing this #and Tim is like well I'm emotionally stunted and walking on the wire edge between bad decisions and dying makes me feel alive #the bats are like okay that's valid #and the rest of the JL is like 'NO!! ITS NOT!!'#personally I like Tim being rescued the most by the bats and core 4 (3?) YJ bc. Batfam and also core 4. Also timkon. Or timbart.#I don't ship Tim/Cassie but I love them being close friends who get sad and emotionally vulnerable together #Mostly bc I always think of them hardcore trauma bonding when Bart and Kon die #But tim casually calling heros civilian phone numbers like hi flash im in keystone rn and some guys beat me up and threw me in a trunk #I think they're gonna drive it into a river could u come pick me up #also I'm sure Tim could fuck with other villains too #I just was thinking abt how funny it is to have a teenage tim as CEO and being peers w lex bc of it #tim keeps copywriting symbols/color schemes Gotham villains #he buys some carnival grounds the joker likes and turns it into a water park instead #silly au where tim is kind of op #but in a fun way #dc

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bonchobrick · 1 year

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Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.

The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.

So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.

But,

As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--

Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.

His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.

But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.

The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.

The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.

Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.

Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions

Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”

“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold

Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”

“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain

They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.

Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"

Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."

"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks

Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”

Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"

"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."

Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."

"What?!" His family screech in panic

"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."

"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer

Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."

Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"

Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"

pause

Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."

"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world

"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family

"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin

"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods

"I know right?" Jason chirps

"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand

Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"

John only sighs and leaves

"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"

Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.

Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"

Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.

As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"

Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down

Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it

"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in

He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed

Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"

Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."

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Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^

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transtravisstoll · 19 days

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Batkids Age Reversal List

want to do a age reversal AU for the batkids but why do the comics keep fucking up their ages this has taken me weeks of trying to figure out i’m gonna off the DC comic writers. if you have any better ideas for their ages pls let me know im going to gouge my eyes out if i have to do any more math.

alfred: ???

-immortal. fuck you. he looked death in the face and told him to stop tracking mud all over his freshly mopped floors and that dinner was at eight.

bruce: 39

-had damian at eighteen bc i wanted it to be as close to his age gap with dick in canon as possible but i am not having this man fathering a child at 15

damian: 21

-came to gotham at age 8, refused to be a normal kid bc he was literally raised an assassin and bruce doesn’t know how to encourage nonviolent activities in children so letting him fight crime seemed… better than being an assassin. he, at the age of eight, could not come up with a name that wasn’t fucking Terrifying so whenever gordon asked for his “little shadow”‘s name they were suspiciously silent bc no, damian, you can not call yourself Vengeance or Malice. the media called him shadow and it stuck.

duke: 18

-wanted to keep his age gap with tim similar, but with duke being the older one, instead of doing dick and jason’s age gap bc it makes more sense this way.

-his parents got jokerified when he was 12, and so did a Lot of people in the Narrows. it absolutely decimated their little community so duke became signal. he didn’t fight crime, he gave back to his community, he helped with the cleanup. bruce ended up basically kidnapping the poor kid. (duke ran away from his foster home because he wasn’t a glorified babysitter or maid, fuck you, he can crash on couches.)

STEPH: 16

-again, wanted to keep the age gap between steph and tim the same but keeping steph the older one. makes more sense this way!! leave me alone.

-became spoiler at 13, was only spoiler for a year before she became shadow at 14 for about six months in between damian and jason. there was a six month period as well where bruce didn’t have a shadow and alfred literally had to bribe steph to be shadow bc he wasn’t abt to let a kid run around the gotham night without knowing batman was two steps ahead of them. plus, having a kid with him made bruce more cautious.

TIM: 15

-FINALLY got to mimicking the age gap between dick and jason in canon

-never becomes shadow, actually, he takes bab’s spot as their computer wiz. doesn’t call himself oracle though because he fucking sucks at making names. calls himself override (barf).

-also, steph is the only one who hes told he’s override to and also knows the batfam’s identities

-duke knows tim is override bc he’s scary like that!! tim doesn’t know duke knows he’s override, but duke knows that tim knows their identities and tim Also doesn’t know that. duke is fr terrifying. love him.

-tim figured out the batfam because of duke’s meta abilities bc he’s also scary like that

Jason: 14

-oh, he’s… currently out of commission. became shadow at 12.

-didn’t die in ethiopia, because fuck that plot. he was doing a stakeout but the joker had kidnapped this itty little baby (an eight year old boy) who he found running around the gotham night. jason went out of commission saving that little boy. what does out of commission mean? who knows. could be dead. could be severely injured. kidnapped. the possibilities are endless.

-i think it’s fucked that the comic fans voted for a fifteen year old to die by the joker. y’all are crazy.

cass: 13

-mimicking jason and cass’ age gap with cass being younger bc it makes more sense leave me alone

-isn’t a Batman approved shadow (yet) but she shadows batman anyways after jason’s… indisposed. the bonus is that batman doesn’t Know he has a shadow but gotham is kept in the dark abt shadow being (redacted) because cass and jason had the same exact fucking build, okay, jason hasn’t gotten his growth spurt yet (because of childhood malnutrition) . weird how batman lost weight though, after he went on that rage incident after the latest arrest of the joker. he’s leaner now. (is it the same batman? who knows.)

dick: 8

-mimicking the tim and damian age gap, bc it’s six years in my head leave me alone.

-huh, jason went out of commission saving an eight year old and dick is eight… suspicious. coincidence? hm.

babs: 7

-mimicking the babs and dick age gap but with babs being younger bc i think she’s older in canon? unsure. DC please i’m going to kill you and then me.

#batkids #batman #dick grayson #stephanie brown #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #reverse robins #dc comics

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deaddovedecadence · 3 months

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(Guess which fucker is suffering from his uterus again? ME! Bevcucase I am suffering you get to hear how I think each member of the batfam (sibs only cause im mad at bruce rn for something he did in another story)would deal with you aggressively swearing at the Universe)

*Transmasc Reader on their period headcanons*

Dick Grayson

“I am going to stab a motherfucker in the throat and sacrifice them to the sun god if means he’ll end my pain”

surprised af, looks at you like you’re crazy

mildy concerned that you’re muttering under your breath swearing vengeance at the universe for giving you a period (apparently the uterus thing is fine but the period thing isn’t?)

Eventually asks what’s wrong and when you tell him that everything hurts, he’s very much going ooh and calling up babs to ask for some help with managing your pain. Once that’s happened he takes you to his room because his mattress is heated and wraps himself around you for a nap

Jason Todd

“If one more person tests me I’m telling Damian that they pissed me off”

He’s surprised with the viciousness of your throat and then pissed when he realizes that you have his favorite hoodie

you have to give him all the puppy eyes in the world to convince him that you need it and it smells like him and that makes it safe.

He understands better then a lot of people because his working girls complain to him when they see him.

helps your make even more creative threats because it’s funny to watch the horror on dick’s face when he hears them.

Cassandra Cain

“I’m going to rip out my uterus and feed it to the ground”

Dies laughing to herself at the absolute violence you threaten yourself with too make the pain stop then scolds you for threatening to hurt yourself

you explain to her that you aren’t actually going to hurt yourself and that you’re just in pain and severely dysphoric.

To combat this, Cass calls you brother (well signs it aggressively) while she cuddles with you in Dick’s bed (it’s the best bed okay!)

Tim Drake

“I hate my everyone and everything”

Finds you crying, and swearing at your body in front of the mirror. Immediately goes into damage control mode, bundling you away from the mirror and calling bart, because Bart’’s also trans and ergo he might know how to help with your freak out.

Bart has to stop Tim from freaking out and very patiently explains to him that sometimes bouts of dysphoria happen and there is nothing that anyone can do about them. Tim ends up asking again if you want to start t and when you say no, he just sits with you on the ground while you come back to yourself

Duke Thomas

“Fuck these motherfucking cramps,”

As the only other trans person in the manor (though Duke is agender to your transmasc) you feel a special kind of bond with him. He makes you feel comfortable and safe when your skin is itchy and all you want to do is explode

Laughs at you swearing at your cramps, and offers you some aleve and a heat pad. The two of you watch an anime together and argue about ship wars. It’s great!

Damian Al-Ghul Wayne

“I am going to rip out the universe’s entrails and give them to damian as a gift”*

Thinks that it’s perfectly reasonable to be angry at your body for failing you.

Makes you spar to get all of the anger that lives inside of you out. It’s very funny to watch the two of you. scream in different languages as you attempt to beat dummies into a pulp

He of everyone understands that it’s hard to keep control of anger and keeps you start to notice when your hold on it is fraying

*(the line that inspired everything)

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lanternbats · 8 months

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re: how do you think the league, the batfamily and the corps would react to batlantern?

personally, im a huge fan of the league being completely dumbfounded by batlantern. they don’t understand where it came from, how it happened or why it’s still going. like, sure, a couple of members sorta knew about it (probs Diana and Zatanna on B’s side and Barry on Hal’s) but everyone else was just completely in the dark. i think it lends itself to good shenanigans.

the batfam is a completely different story, because they’re all stalkers and creeps, so they all knew it was happening and probably even purposely pushed situations for them to interact. the kids like Hal and they like that B is happy with Hal. Hal is also potentially the least problematic romance B has even had, so that’s even better. when they finally get together there’s a collective “FUCKING FINALLY!”

and i’m not too sure about the corps tbh. i think it’d be funny if they thought Hal was dating some sort of cryptid (because the bats are terrifying and incomprehensible to anyone and anything) only for Hal to go “nah, he’s human. he’s just a little weird like that.” other lanterns may wonder how Hal hasn’t been murdered by the entity of shadows Batman is but. if he’s happy, then sure?

and those are my two cents :)

Wait wait hold on a second, Zatanna knowing is so cute... Big Bad Batman's childhood friend seeing right through him and noticing his feeling for Hal and encouraging him to go for it because she think Hal is great. I love the idea of her knowing first, maybe even before Clark notices (because he 100% notices Bruce's heartbeat and is like OH??).

The thought of the kids stalking Hal pre-relationship to see if it's mutual/see if they approve is ssooooo funny actually. Hal calls Bruce like "Hey spooky, just wanted to let you know that your kids uhhh seem to be following me? I'm at dinner right now and they're a few table's over hiding behind menus? I thought you'd at least have trained them in espionage better than this-"

The corps are the ones I'm struggling with the most too (because aside from Guy losing his entire mind over BATMAN??? FUCKING BATMAN?? I don't know that they'd care that much?) but Hal's alien friends thinking Batman is some kind of creature™ is really good.

#asks #batlantern #thank you for your thoughts :D

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onepieceoftheoceanblues · 1 day

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Batfam X One Piece Crossover AU

Someone mentioned this sort of au and I went Insane a bit ^-^' hope you guys enjoy!

Okay so a Batfam in the One Piece world au and how I think it would work/go;

I imagine the Batfam were whammied into an entirely new dimension while on patrol so we have the full costumed roster (but not the full extended clan cuz that's so many people lol) so we have Bruce/Batman, Dick/Nightwing, Jason/Red Hood, Tim/Red Robbin, Damian/Robin, Cass/Black Bat, Stephanie/Batgirl (you can pry Steph still being batgirl out of my cold dead hands), and Duke/Signal.

The First thing they do is figure out where they are, an island in something called the ___ blue (idk which they should be in lol, but it's best if they start in a blue I think), and are very obviously not in their world. (I'm gonna say for the sake of Plot either One Piece doesn't exist in their world or none of them have watched/read it because that would be too easy lol)

Ofc the second thing they do is try to find a way home and gather info but uh, they quickly realize this world doesn't have the best tech around to build something to take them home, and places/people they can get to would be either hard to find or in a place that's very dangerous to get to (Vegapunk is their best bet but... not really an option for right away due to mentioned reasons).

They think of asking this "World Government" for help for all of two seconds, before finding out how fucking awful and corrupt the whole system this world has and nixes that idea right in the bud. They're Vigilantes for a reason, after all, and know corruption in governments very well. So honestly, their best bet is either trying to go along and find someone that can help and materials, or waiting for their people from their world to come and get them.

(SO much more under cut im sorry Brain went Brrr)

Tbh it must be so wild to be in this world too tho, for some many reasons. It's close enough, but then you factor in all the different races and species, and how the world is set up. Add the fact most of it not as advanced as their world, except in some places which it is? And how half their technology runs on... snails?????? What a baffling world. Also, people can have powers and are gained from something called Devil Fruits which give you powers in exchange that the sea can and will kill you, except for some races have natural powers due to their biology.

They decide pretty quickly in world of water to not eat the Devil Fruits. Also keep an eye on Duke because his powers, while not too flashy, arnt a devil fruit, and they have no way to explain how he has them, and how he can manipulate both light and shadows.

Its probs also so jarring because like, in their world, they are used to being the peak of what humans can do. They keep up with metas and aliens and are cosidered among the best of the best for a reason, and while they often have to compensate with gear and tech, at the end of the day they can only go so far as humans.

However, it's different in this world. Clearly even though there are humans, their biological standards are different then their Earth, and even just humans without powers can go far beyond their own norm if they train and work hard enough for it.

The Batfam could easily handle the Blue's pirates and marines, and probs all cannon fodder marines, and while I think they could deal with a good chunk if not most people in Paradise baring the strongest in the first half of the grand line, there's no way they could deal with the New World even with their best gear and in peak condition for them. Which sucks because their best bets are likely in that Sea.

Idk where I'd see them, my heart wants them to be pirates of their own little run pirate crew, but I could easily see them being picked up by a canon crew or turning Revolutionaries in exchange for getting help find a way home, or pirates with connections to Revs. The only thing I can't see is them as Marines, as stated a few paragraphs above, lol, but also I figure they run into the law and go fuck you guys and what you stand for and end up with bounties so they are wanted anyways. But either way they are gonna be progressing and trying to find a way home while getting stronger.

I imagine Haki is the first thing they really try to get down after leanring about it. Idk how they managed to find out about it either in the blues or so early in the grand line, but they are expert information gatherers so they do and immediately try to learn it (either tracking someone down who knows it or how to unlock it, or finding adequate documentation in how to do it) and get to work. It's their best chances in getting a leg up in this world.

And they do unlock it! They're pretty much all geniuses, and they already have experience learning weird skills and manipulating their mental will (they can block out telepaths and have strong willpower in general against mind control canonically), so learning to manifest it into Observation and Armament Haki is less about how hard it is and more just if they can (After all they aren't from this world) and how to apply it. Thankfully, it seems they can.

Duke's Observation makes his future vision so much more powerful, so much he actually has adverse effects to it at first before he gets used to it. Observation is great, just helps what they already natrually know but Armament is very much beloved, instant armor that helps you hit harder even against normal people, let alone devil fruit users!! They are big fans.

Conquerors Haki off the table rn because A.) they don't know if they have it and B.) Who or whatever they learned Haki from didn't explain it or have it to explain so that's put to the side for now, but I'm unsure who, if any of them, have it. Maybe Bruce and Jason, and maybe Damian? I feel?? I could also see Dick unlocking his use of it in a fit of protective rage? Im largely Unsure.

I also think it would be neat if the longer they are here, their bodies adapt to this world more and more until they start being able to past their peak of what they could do before and just... keep going. It varies from each batfam member how they feel on their biology changing over time, but they can't do more than just accept it. At least it will help them survive.

Also, they have to adapt in more ways than one. They arrive and their best gear, fully stocked and mostly undamaged, but the longer they are here the more they run out of supplies and things wear down so they have to figure out how to get/make more or alternate for something better. Batarangs thankfully, while having to be made of a different material, can be made from any island with a good blacksmith who's willing to let them use their forges to make them themselves (cuz having to commission them would take money they don't actually have)

Their suits thankfully are fine and reinforced, but over time they're gonna have to likely find a fabric that could replace the stuff their suits are made of or just switch to diffrent outfits inspired by their suits. Dick's Escrima Sticks can't be charged, so they end up not electrified until they find a way to do it later. Jason's guns inevitably run out of ammo then even if he makes his own, they get just damaged so he's forced to switch to the local pirate guns, thankfully not all are just flintlocks.

Damian's sword is apparently very high grade here and is very smug about it, though annoyed other "Swordsmen" keep wanting to know more about his blade and where he learned to use his "weird style". Tim gets a boa staff that has the ends tipped in sea stone.

Their styles also adapt over time. I have this vision of Dick getting his hands on these boots, probs with Dial technology, that let him jump higher and bounce off of walls if he times it right. Jason with Dial guns. They start picking up the 6 powers as well, not all, but Geppo and Soru become very heavily utilized. I think one of them should end up with Voice of all Things, either Cass or Duke, because it's fun lol.

Im... unsure about devilfruits, but I think it would be intrestin to explore if somone ate one, likely out of despration or having little choice. Unsure who or what fruit but just would be neat i think, expecially dealin with the side effects. Tho Dick with a Wind Logia or a winged Zoan of sorts sounds SO interesting. (Can you tell who my favorite batfam memeber is? ^-^')

As for Ponyglaph Runes, Bruce and Tim def find out about it and try their best to tackle it, but It's REALLY hard to learn an entirely different language with unfamiliar sentence structure when you have absolutely no keys or references to work with. They learn of Nico Robin, and aren't stupid so figure it's likely an awful cover-up or more to the story, and decide to lowkey make it one of their goals to track her or any other knowledge on how to learn it down. If they get even a bare hint of a clue on how to translate, I'm sure they'd figure it out over time, but Robin is their best bet.

They find out about Whitebeard, and they are quietly glad Bruce's adoption problem isn't that bad but think its funny. Dick is beloved by all and makes enough friends and allies to rival Luffy's charisma, it's a skill man. I can't decide if their Epithets in this world are just their Vigilante names, and they stay masked, or they get knew Epithets and decide there's no point in hiding, or a mix of both but yee.

The OP world either speaks "Common" they can all magically speak now with some diffrent launages in diff parts of the world, OR Japanese, which some of them know and have to teach the others, OR a weird mix of English and Japanese. There's a point in time that people think Damian is Nico Robin's child or sibling because of the Robin thing, and he's a little demon child. Or hell they still do, and he's very livid while Robin is both amused but also scared for this child who is being tied to her.

They still dont kill for the most part, baring Jason, but some of them are pushed into it and they have to figure out what that means for them and what it means moving fowrard with their no kill policy. Some do better with it, some dont. Bruce still hasnt and wont kill, same with Cass, and Damian decides he doesnt want to but will if absolutly no other choice is offered, thankfully they havnt let him had to make this choice yet. (I just have so much thoughts about a assassin raised child deciding they dont want their hands more red now they have the choice).

One or more of them should end up pulled into the War at Marineford and Ace should be saved because I will try to fit a Ace Lives plot into everything lol

Overall I think if this was a fanfic the plot would be a lot of exploring the differences in their worlds, how they adapt and overcome, and trying to find a way home while also coming to like this world and overturning corruption and fucking over the government. I think them with the Strawhats or another crew would be fun, either as allies or joined idk, but I think with them as their own crew would be cool as well. If they join or ally with a crew Bruce lowkey adopts everyone, and he's given SO much shit for it but christ so many of them have such sad backstories and he wants to help

I think in the end they should get to find their way home and like no time has passed, but they're so changed, and arguably considered powered now because lol, but find a way to go back and visit safely.

Sorry for the word vomit but man im in love with this idea. Feel free to comment or send Asks with questions or comments about the au! Please Reblog, and not just like, as they do nothing <3

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gilbirda · 1 year

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So, I have an idea to contribute to the anger management brainrot:

I know how we all say that Jason's pit madness is just corrupted ectoplasem, BUT! hear me out, what if the pit madness is the result of his body coming back, and his spirit/soul being still (at least partially) trapped in the infinite realms?

Add a dash of Good BatDad!Bruce to this AU, and he tries to help Jason by doing a ritual to free Jason's soul from the ghost king. Only problem is, Batman CAN do magic, he's just generally very bad at it and too stubborn to admit it or call Zatana for help in most cases (Yes, this part is actually DC cannon) . So the ritual works- technically. Jason gets his soul back, but by obscure infinite realms law, he's now "bound to the ghost princess", which is a fancy way to say that Jason and Jazz are now betrothed.

But! Here's the real kicker: neither Jason nor Jazz have met yet. They both get "rashes" (actually marks symbolizing their union) on their ring fingers, and are frustrated that no amount of skincare will cure them. It can even start off with neither of them realizing that they're engaged. Jazz is just wildly confused when ghosts keep asking her when the wedding is, because she isn't even dating anyone, and hasn't really felt attraction to anyone since Johnny.

Jason, on the other hand, thinks he's been cursed. His liminality is flaring up with a vengeance. Randomly he's been passing through objects, turning invisible, all sorts of out of control ghost hijinks. He has his soul back, he just wants to move on and be with his family, make up for lost time. After Bruce losing more hours of sleep over research than should be humanly possible over research, they find out the truth. Jason is horrified. He thinks that whoever the "ghost princess" is, she must be a spooky monster.

The bats try to correct the situation, and immediately attempt to summon the ghost king. They beg and plead with him to remove the betrothal. Danny, being a little chaos gremlin says that he won't, his sister will have to decide for herself.

I loooooooooove funny arranged married shenanigans 🥰🥰🥰

Also I think it's hilarious if Bruce is the one that fuck things up because he doesn't want to call for help

At least after everything is said and done, and everyone can look back and laugh, he could joke that he is a matchmaker

Also I would love Danny being pissed off at being summoned, again, and this summon is so sloppy and shitty he expects some kids joking around and trying to be edgy-

and its freaking BATMAN?

and as they explain what's going on he starts laughing and he is like "im sorry, this is very serious, but my sister, the princess, can and will fuck you up for this"

-> cue everyone thinking this princess is as jacked and tall and eldritch as Danny

So Danny goes fetch her and batfam like "okay, game plan, once she is here he try to apologize and beg to not be smited-"

And then the princess arrives, she is a 7 feet tall Tired(tm) goddess that looks so pissed off-

And then she sees her betrothed

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"hi"

I want to read this so baaaaad

Thanks for the ask! Love it a lot 💖💖

#gil answers #9-circles-of-l #anger management ship #jazz/jason #jazz x jason #dpxdc #dp x dc

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alycosworld · 1 year

Text

Torturous

John Constantine x Batfam!Reader

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A/N: somebody tell me why the only cartoon john constantine gifs i could find were this one AND THE KING SHARK ONE 😭😭 bloody hilarious man. anyways, this is for the anon who asked for john x batfam reader recs and i found tumblr LACKING. here u go ladies and germs. Gender-neutral reader, no physical attributes included, they/them pronouns.

also, john is like ?? old asf ?? so let's just say he's a solid 32 and reader is 27. for context, dick is 28 and Jason is 24, tim case duke and steph are like 17-19, damian is 14. and Bruce is somewhere around 50. btw not proofread.

soz for the long a/n, thank u for reading and enjoy!!

KEEP READING (im on mobile and it's not working so ill add it in later)

How did it come to this?

It had been torturous enough working with your family and John Constantine, but now you were sure he was trying to tease you.

Batman didn't like calling him for cases involving magic, he'd much prefer Zatanna, but she was away for whatever reason and there was no time to waste waiting for her to get back from god-knows-where.

But you guarantee you were more annoyed by John's presence. Merely seeing him pissed you off, and his laidback, flirty nature made it all the worse.

And no, it wasn't because you hated him. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

Sneaking around behind your family's back to see your Romeo was a chore, and not something you had the liberty of doing often with your myriad of vigilante duties and commitments to adult life. Visiting John and spending time with him was rare and something you treasured. Whether it be in some nostalgia-ridden English pub, staying at his house that still didn't quite make sense to you, or going on regular dates that you planned like restaurants and carnivals, you and John had the time of your lives. And after all the adventures you had been on, he finally admitted that he loved you, just as you had admitted it before.

But loving John Constantine was no simple feat. It came with challenges like murderous monsters, various being from Hell, and most recently, your family.

You knew Bruce would be less than approving. He knew how much of a troublemaker John was, and his self-proclaimed bastard status did not help. Bruce knew he was trouble, and frankly, so did you, but he was too sweet and loving in the end for you to care. He was more than some troubled magician with alcoholism issues, severe gambling debt and the ability to fuck a shark. He was also probably the sweetest guy you had met and he cherished you, showering you in unconditional love, as uncharacteristic as it seemed.

Which is why this particular case was so difficult. While John took every opportunity to flirt with you, you had to refuse every advance and bury the urge to grab him by the collar his stupidly overused coat and kiss him silly. But no, one of your siblings or Bruce was around at every given moment. Alfred had already known you and John were a thing and promised to keep things quiet.

"Are you listening, love?" John asked, specifically looking at you. You felt singled out between Damian and Stephanie, as they, Bruce, and a few of your other siblings stared at you in confusion. You had been listening, briefly, but couldn't for the life of you remember what John had said. It's not like it mattered, this was just John wrapping things up. The case was virtually over.

"Don't call me that," you hardened your gaze instead of smiling and swooning as you normally would when he looked at you with the same intensity as he was now. The subtle changes in your mannerisms towards each other had miraculously not been noticed by the others.

"That's not an answer, love," oh he just loved pissing you off, didn't he? When all this was over you were sure you would make sure he paid for his actions.

"Yeah, I was listening," you folded your arms as he narrowed his eyes at you.

"Y'know what? I don't think you were. You've been giving me attitude this entire case, and frankly, I'm done with it," John shot back with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering where the hell he was going with this.

"Excuse us, is more like it. You can finish things up here, Bats, I'm sure. I'd like to have a word with them, if you don't mind," John began to walk towards you.

"I don't see how this is important to--"

"Great! We'll only be a moment, just carry on with the debrief," John placed a hand on your lower back, escorting you out of the batcave and upstairs to your room. You saw Dick and Cass along the way, starting at you two oddly but John just smiled and ushered you into the room.

"John, what the hell do you think you're do--!" he cut you off by pinning you to the wall and pressing his lip to yours, pulling away with a boyish grin.

"Oh, I have missed you, love," he smiled, about to dive back in but you pushed him back.

"John, you can't just pull me out of a debrief to make out--"

"We're gonna be doing a lot more than make out, sweetheart," he said, grabbing your hips with both hands. You rolled your eyes slightly before placing one hand on his waist and the other on the side of his neck, quickly flipping him around so he's against the wall. You grin a little at his flustered state.

"We're gonna get caught, hon, please don't do this. I love you but it hasn't even been that long--"

"Seconds without you are too long, sweetheart," he replied, and you chuckled.

"That's very sweet, J, but if you keep this up I'm not gonna be able to control myself. Bruce will kill me, and then wait until the others find out--"

"Too late," Damian stood in the doorway of your bedroom and you nearly jumped out of you skin.

"What sorcery is this, Constantine? What have you done to them?" Damian produced a dagger out of seemingly nowhere and you sighed.

"Dames--"

"What? I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I can't trust your words--"

"Damian, he didn't do anything. No magic, no tricks, nothing. We've been seeing each other for a while," Damian continues to stare at you, not believing you. You sighed, walking up to him and ruffling his hair, "I promise, Dames. John hasn't enchanted me or anything, I just-- I'm in love with him," you finished, staring back at John. Damian looked between you and him before sighing.

"You're really in love with him? Him, of all people? You know how badly Raven speaks of him," Damian folded his arms.

"Raven? She talks about me behind my back? Bloody hell, I'll be having words with her--"

"John,"

"Right! Yes, uhm, Damian, I swear I haven't cursed them to fall in love with me. Really, it's a miracle they love me at all--"

"Don't say that," you smiled.

"What? Its true! And if you're worried about me hurting them or something, you shouldn't be. I'd rather kiss Nergal than even try hurting them," John rolled his eyes.

"And you know I'd kick his ass if he tried anything, Dames," you smirked.

"Well, I just might enjoy that, love--"

"Fucking hell, John, he's fourteen!" you covered Damian's ears as John laughed loudly. Damian eventually swatted your hands away and glared at John again.

"I really do love him, Dames. And nothing you say is gonna change that. We've been dating for almost a year and I still love him, so clearly that counts for something," you assured him.

John bent down slightly to be eye-to-eye with Damian, "I would never do anything to harm them, squire. And I can't get rid of 'em, even if I wanted to," John chuckled.

"You know you love me," you grinned.

"Yeah, I do," John replied, sincerely, making you tense up.

"Fine, I approve," Damian said decisively.

"No one needed your approval, Dames, but thank you," you chuckled, pressing a kiss to John's cheek, "now, just please don't tell Bruce about this--"

"I already know," Bruce, now in casual clothes instead of his suit, rounded the corner and stood next to Damian as you blinked in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? No, don't tell me--" you peeked out of your room with John to see pretty much the rest of the family was listening. You sighed dragging a hand down your face as John chuckled nervously.

"Bollocks,"

#john constantine x reader #john constantine fluff #john constantine x you #john constantine fanfic #john constantine #john constantine x batfam reader #gender neutral reader #batsis reader #batbro reader #batfam reader #batfamily #john constantine x y/n #WOOOOO MY FIRST FULL FIC IN AGES LETS FUCKING GOOO!!

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weebsinstash · 1 year

Text

On my platonic yandere Batfam bullshit again thinking about, like, deliberately dramatic scenarios because I crave emotional tension

-imagine if Bruce gets called in to regressed!Reader's school because you got in a fist fight with another kid, and this kid is the son of one of his prominent business partners and Bruce, uh, doesn't immediately believe you when you state for him and the principal why you got into a fight because, hey he knows that boy, he isn't THAT bad! And Bruce scolds you and makes you apologize and even grounds you once you two are in the car alone and you're just noticeably extremely angry and quiet to the point you won't even come out of your room for dinner. And after some time has passed, days even, a couple members of the fam are in a room together with you and someone cracks a joke about you losing your temper over a misunderstanding and you just, stare directly at them as you pull out your phone, press play on a video, and walk away as they watch where you had been trying to take a photo of something like idk a flower or the weather and began accidentally filming after Selina helped dropped you off at school and the footage caught the boy outright calling her a slut for what she was wearing

And of course Bruce is upset because that kid insulted Catwoman and also got some swings back at you (he's probably proud to a certain degree that you defended Selina and shes absolutely delighted when she hears about it) but he asks "well why didn't you tell me you had proof im the first place" and you just spit at him "oh so I need PROOF for you to BELIEVE ME?" And extra bonus points if Reader has their old memories back and hits him with "after everything you've done to me, I finally ask for your help and ACTUALLY needed you this ONE TIME and you couldn't even believe me? Wow, my hero 🙄" so now he knows he's broken your heart AND you're back to the "old you" that he wants to, father all the depression and trauma out of

-since Dick, Barbara, and Reader would all be going to a prestigious school I think of like, what if your class got kidnapped for ransom while on a field trip. And Robin and Batgirl look over to you thinking you're going to panic and freak out but you're suspiciously calm, or, calmer than the anxiety stricken adopted 'sibling' they've had this whole time, and maybe despite being kidnapped by like, idk, Babyface or Black Mask or Two Face, and maybe you even just outright insult them and it becomes horribly obvious to them "oh not only do you have your memories back, they've unintentionally turned you into an explosive powder keg of repressed anger and frustration because they betrayed what little trust you had left"

You just look at Two Face and start fucking with him, this criminal looking down as a teenager starts roasting him way too casually and maybe with facts you shouldn't even know, things you remember from your time as a hero before. "Hey Harvey, what's hanging, it's been a while. Hey can I ask a question? You ever think about just outright asking someone like I dunno Bruce Wayne to fix that fucked up meat gristle face of yours? Like, I'm sure having half your body resemble the same consistency of a breakfast sausage has its uses in intimidation, but, like, I'm sure if you just walked up to Batman and said 'hey if you make me look less like a rotisserie chicken I'll quit crime' and he would probably just like, HAND the money for the sugery to you, like, do you think Batmobile money falls out of the sky, he's clearly fucking loaded"

And of course the follow up/alternative of "the stress triggers Reader's metagene or old memories or both and you just start whooping ass unapologetically and Barb and Dick are sweating because they're trying not to break incognito but like you're significantly hurting these dudes, you're clearly really angry and upset and taking it out on them" and tbh I imagine Batman already has contingencies for this possibility. He shows up in costume and Two Face has already fled but you're standing there in your preppy school uniform now dirty and torn, blood on your knuckles, about to beat a man unconscious while your classmates either cower or cheer or fear you. If Reader has some sort of magic, then he just has to get Nth metal from Hawkgirl or Hawkman, maybe he'll make it a cute bracelet, just a nice gift from Dad. Bodily autonomy to use your own powers and be an adult again, what's that? He's disappointed in you for caving into the darkness and also? you're grounded >:(

-Reader becoming a mugging/gun violence victim and now you're never allowed to leave the manor, period. I can only imagine like the projection of trauma from Bruce if, after losing his parents, he has to watch you weak and recovering from a gunshot, wheezing in bed struggling to breathe properly because a bullet went through one of your lungs. You're put in a total bubble to recover in absolute peace and sterility, but, even far after you've recovered, your "guardian" is still convinced someone will leap out of the bushes to hurt you, so, no leaving the manor unless he's with you. Like. Imagine him being so scared he doesn't even want to trust your safety with the other Batfamily members, and maybe he even cracks down on several of the other younger members because he doesn't want them to get shot too (also like, resulting trauma and overprotectiveness if one or multiple of them saw you get shot and are like, still fucked up over having to apply pressure to your bullet wound as your warm blood leaks all over their fingers and they can't do anything to stop you and-- like do you see how that would send some of them into borderline psychosis when theyve already got So Many Many Issues)

-all of them try to exert control over what you're exposed to and consume in terms of entertainment. You have spyware on your phone and any member of the Batfam who can use the Batcomputer can see your past and current browsing history and I will die on this hill. Bruce and Alfred are rigorous in making sure you don't ruin your mental health. Like you know how I talked about "what if you had a yandere that was in tech and he gave you a phone that he occasionally spies on and remotely disables if he thinks you're spending too much time on it/seeing something you shouldnt"? Bruh that's like half of the Manor, Bruce especially. He has to "make sure nothing bad happens to you". All it can take is 'one bad day', after all...

-obsessed with the idea of them getting jealous of you spending time with other alternate universe versions of themselves, in concepts where Reader is a JL member/vigilante and has the power/tech to multiverse travel anyways. Batman hasn't seen you in a couple weeks and, actually maybe he's a little concerned about you, you've kind of just vanished off the face of the earth, and he bumps into you on a Gotham rooftop with. Another Batman, and getting along much better and being more casual and friendly with the stranger than with him. Broody fucking "I am darkness, I am the night, I am vengeance" Bruce catching you like. smoking weed on his couch with the hilariously weird version of him from the Harley Quinn cartoon universe and God forbid if anyone shows signs of having feelings for you

(also could you imagine how ballistic he and or Jason would go if they caught you hanging out with, you know, one of the super violent "murder is ok" Jasons/Batmans and you tell them straight up "actually I agree with what he's doing, I want to help him, in fact maybe I'll work with HIM now instead of you" like, y'all, I think Batman would permanently never let you work as a hero or sidekick ever again because he's genuinely worried you'll fall down the slippery slope and make a mistake that ruins your life. Like depending on the depiction of Batman you're looking at, some of them admit straight up that they don't kill Joker because they know they're legitimately filled with so much anger and hatred that if they kill even one person, that'll break the barrier to killing tons of criminals outright and they won't be able to stop)

-all I'm saying is that if they ever caught you like being cordial or mildly friendly with an alternate universe version of a villain, no matter how good they are, they shut that shit down immediately. "Y/N who is that" "oh this is my bud The Jester from the universe where the Joker is actually really good and a superhero and--" *jester proceeds to be grappled back through a multiverse portal* "wait no don't freak out this poison ivy is actually really chill and she's married to Harley and she sells me really good weed and she only does a liiiiiitle bit of ecoterrorism and--" immediately thrown in Arkham

-I just genuinely think it's funny that they're probably either smoking weed with you bc trauma and stress or are vehemently anti drug. Can you imagine just in general like, regressed reader, batfam member, either way, just being an actual adult just minding your business and smoking weed and Bruce reacting like he just caught you with a loaded gun in your pocket "y/n is that a weed" "yeah its for my chronic pain--" "I'm calling commissioner gordon" like, Bruce practically acting like you need to go to rehab

-I kinda love the drama of Bruce or Dick or Barbara or just any of the Batfam members accidentally basically ruining your social life and social reputation. You were at a house party one night and eventually pics start getting texted around of Nightwing confronting you in the yard and pulling you away and now there are rumors you're a criminal on parole. You get invited to smoke weed at a friend's and suddenly Batman is in the house and suddenly everyone's parents are there to pick up their kids as he lectures about the dangers of drugs and now absolutely NO ONE from school wants anything to do with you "because what if Batman shows up and gets us in trouble"

-I feel like, as one of those vaguely morally gray areas, that Bruce would make you take medication and get treatment for, like, really anything that needs it, but more specifically anxiety and depression and just overall psychological issues. And as a dark twist what if you aren't really naturally anxious and don't even have an anxiety disorder or anything but he puts you on pills to mellow you out because you're freaking out at him for completely valid and understandable reasons like, you know, being confined in his home against your will. "What, you aren't mad about being kidnapped and controlled and lied to, you clearly just have pre existing emotional issues that keep you from reacting properly, but don't worry I'm here to help" 🙄🙄🙄

#sometimes i put readmores if things are hella long but like the dashboard does that automatically now #yandere x reader #yandere stuff #sinprompts #yandere batman

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haveihitanerve · 23 days

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Whats the Password?

“Okay B! We got the codes!” “good work… BatFam.” Bruce said into the comms. The entire brigade of batkids cheered from their respective places around Gotham. “He used it!” Steph cheered. There was a soft laugh and the others grinned, identifying it immediately as Cass’s. “B, the BatComputers on right?” Dick asked, swinging from one building to the next. “Yeah it should be.” Bruce answered, starting the Batmobile. “Oh, wait no. Actually its not. I turned it off because Al threatened to deep fry me the next time he was able to cook an omelet on it.” “the next time?” Jason asked. Bruce grimaced and tim crowed with laughter. “Oh yeah. I remember that. Never seen B so scared as the day we rolled into the Batcave to find al casually flipping an omelet. He served it to us right there. B looked so damn scared. And then i went upstairs and put in my noise canceling earplugs and went to bed.” The Batkids laughed. “No fucking way.” Jason gasped, holding his sides with laughter. Bruce sent his second oldest a look. “Anywho, whats the password then B? I assume you'll take a while.” Bruce nodded, even though they couldn't see. “Oh yeah. The password is- ~~~~~~~*static*~~~~~~~” “What did he say?” Tim asked, tapping his comm. “I dunno.” Dick answered, frowning. “Dad?” But bruces comm had cut out completely. “He said its his favorite kids name.” damian answered. “Gods how guys even survived this long without being able to hear this sort of stuff is beyond me.” he muttered. “No he didn't!” Steph said. “Theres no way!” “yes way!” Jason called. “First one to the cave gets to put in their name!” Duke called and they heard his engine rev. “Hold the fuck up!” Tim bellowed and each kid raced to the Batcave.

Tim, ultimately, got there first. “Haha! Suckers!” he stuck his tongue out at them and quickly typed in his name. Tim Drake-Wayne. ERROR. Dick grinned, shoving his brother out of the way. “Move aside. Favorite kid coming through.” He quickly typed his name in, but the keypad showed the same result. ERROR. Dick growled and handed the keypad to damian who grinned smugly, then immediately snarled when his name also didn't match. He handed it to cass who handed it to steph who handed it to Duke but none of them worked. Jason laughed. “Amatures.” He said. “Oh really?” dick scoffed. “Like it'd be your name!” Damian shot. Jason chuckled, reaching out a hand. “Try me.” Duke frowned, but handed it over. WELCOME, BATMAN The computer said, unlocking.

When Bruce rolled into the Batcave later he had expected to find his children training, maybe cleaning up and even dining, even though he knew they would wait for him to come before eating a meal. What he did not, however, expect to find, was Dick sobbing in the corner, Duke screaming Bloody Mary at the top of his lungs, tim and damian breaking everything in sight and attempting to break each other, while Stephanie and Cass glared at Jason, who was sitting on top of the massive Bat Computer screen, grinning ear to ear. When they heard the Batmobile each of his children stopped, and slowly, like in a horror movie, they turned to look at him. “Ah.” Dick said, standing. “If it isn't the traitor.” Bruce looked between them in confusion. “Im sorry what?” he looked to Cass for help, but she turned away, nose in the air. “Tim?” But tim just glowered. “How Father?” damian seethed. “How can you allow him!” he pointed at jason, who just waved. “Him!!! The honor?” Bruce was now thoroughly confused. “Jason!” he called. “Get down here. Whats going on? Did the codes not work?” “oh they worked.” Dick sniffed, handing over the keypad. “I put them in.” Bruce nodded. “Good. Good. Now what is this all about?” He asked. Dick let out a huff, then answered. “You told us your password was your favorite child's name. So we ran back here and each of us put in our names. But it didn't work!” he glared at Bruce. “Until Jason tried it. Really? Hes your favorite? You two fight daily! Not to mention you let him die!” “woah!” bruce held up his hands. “First of all, no. Secondly, who said it was my favorite child?” Dick blinked. “You did.” Bruce shook his head. “What? No!!! I said it was my favorite ice cream. How did you get favorite child's name from that?!?!?” They all turned accusatory looks on damian. He melted slightly. “Also!” Bruce whirled on his second oldest who was now leaned against a pillar, perfectly at ease. “Jay! You were next to me when I said that! Why didn't you correct them?” Jason’s answering smile was slow. “I liked to watch them panic.”

#batfam #batkids #smh jason #i had to write it

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crowzwritingstore · 1 month

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Hello! Plz i need help.

So I’m getting a new kindle right, and i have discovered (before the old one decided that half the screen was going to become the void…) that you can get fucking ao3 fics in there! Either using the web page or fucking downloading them to you laptop then transferring them!

And currently my brain just needs some good ol’ fluffy fics as i want to tear my own skin off and burn my bones :))

So,

If anyone has any ao3 fics from the following fandoms, please can you like recommend me some 👉👈. I don’t mind the genre but i would love fluff or hurt comfort!

please from the following fandoms/ specific characters... xx

The Bad Batch

The Clone wars (mainly just the clones plz)

Call Of duty mw2

Spiderman

Avengers

Marvel

Hermitcraft (Ik this one is going to not exist but hey cant blame a guy for trying)

The walking dead

Mandalorian

BatFam

Hannibal

Stranger things

Hazbin Hotel

The Boys (Amazon)

Peace maker

Znation

Jurassic world

wolverine

arcane

Our Flag Means Death

Jschlatt (DO not ask...)

Joel miller

bbc Ghosts

the lost boys

the punisher

daredevil

bowser

supernatural

Criminal minds

moon knight

the witcher

overwatch

please if you have any recommendations please!

i am going to make a post about fanfics i have read that i have loved on Ao3 but im still tying to figure out tumbler. (lets not talk about how ive been on here for like 3-4 years now lol)

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1seaweedbrain1 · 1 year

Text

Shit I've said/done as Batfam this month pt. 5

Bruce - yessss it is dark as descend into my domai- oh my god why am i like this? who am i trying to impress? theres no one here to be impressed so why am i like this?

Alfred - self care this and self care that. i dont really have a point it just seems like its being brought up a lot.

Dick - its like i know this is where im supposed to be the supportive sibling but dude fucked up and i think i should call them on it

Jason - *while crying* you know this is really messing with my devil may care attitude

Tim - not to be a little bitch about the whole thing but it kinda seems like the douches in charge are setting us up for failure

Damian - i love my dogs dearly but do they have to try so hard to lick my mouth? like i love them but if they manage to lick the inside of my mouth im gonna lose it, that shits disgusting.

#batfam #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #batman #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #nightwing #red hood #red robin #batfamily #dc robin #dc universe #fandoms #shit ive said/done as batfam

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penny-anna · 1 year

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I posted 5,652 times in 2022

That's 2,593 more posts than 2021!

1,578 posts created (28%)

4,074 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@penny-anna

@megamindsupremacy

@jasontoddsguns

@kalelraejepsen

@roughentumble

I tagged 3,931 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#dcu - 563 posts

#shazam - 317 posts

#my dc fic - 121 posts

#billy batson - 107 posts

#justice league - 104 posts

#batfam - 99 posts

#dracula daily - 90 posts

#batfamily - 89 posts

#fav - 85 posts

#food cw - 66 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#1) cap marvel knows that if he turns back into billy they will just let him go bcos he is a child and obviously not the person they arrested

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

if you don't want people to tag your posts 'blorbo from my shows' then don't put them on the internet's no 1 blorbo fansite

46,017 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#4

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[ID: a photo of three hands clasping, with the hands labelled DD/MM/YYYY, MM/DD/YYYY and YYYY/MM/DD. The centre caption reads 'today is 2222']

46,076 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#3

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im loving this paprika discourse

50,098 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

Shazam definitely has a verified twitter account & it's one of the more popular official superhero twitter accounts bcos Billy just posts whatever the fuck he wants

60,536 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,

76,185 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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definitely-not-indecisive · 2 years

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Bestie your addition to the Batfam/Harley makes me FROTH at the mouth; I actually checked and her names actually LUCY QUINZEL I DIE,,, SHES SO ADORABLE,,,

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And she's just fucking Normal which is so fucking funny- it breaks me that Harley couldn't be in her life but when she STARTS,,, OH MANNNN,,, convinced Damian and her would be besties with " someone will die" " of FUN" vibes with Jon too!!!! Im. Dying. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have any sjsjsjsjs

Omg, Lucy and Brucie, so cute they rhyme 💖💖💖 yes, and then Bruce and Harley will get all emotional over the Lucy/Damien/Jon trio, cos like, it'll be like when they were kids with Harvey! And then like, having family dinners, and Lucy calling Alfred grandpa, because Harley unironically calls Alfred "dad". I'm crying. THEY'RE A FAMILY! And like, Harley making fun of Bruce for dropping out of med school, when she went all the way to get a PH.D and them being super proud when one of the new trio goes to med school. I have a lot of feelings.

Oh and the shenanigans these children will get into, with like big brother Dick and/or Jason, definitely Tim, joining in or enabling. And Bruce and Harley can't even be mad, cos they lowkey/highkey thought it was hilarious, or did worse things when they were the same age together.

Like I'm insane about Cass having big sister bonding time with little sister Lucy, like taking this little girl under her (bat) wing and just uuuggghhh. Teaching Lucy sign language and how to read body language, especially if Lucy wants to become a psychiatrist like her mum to help give patients the best care, or become a vigilante like her. I'm such a slut for found family, you have no idea

Based on this post

#definitely-not-indecisive #brucieknight #Batfam+Harley #Batfam #Lucy Quinzel/Jon Kent/Damien Wayne Golden trio vibes #They'd be the SuperKids instead of the SuperSons #And it would be AMAZING #I have a lot of thoughts

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liverobinreaction · 1 year

Note

If you had to pick between any of the batfam, who would you pick and why?

Now. Now it depends on why im picking them and what for, so obviously I need to think very carefu-

It's Tim. I pick Tim. It may surprise some of you, I know (/j), but I am rotating him in my mind at all times like a microwave meal. There is so much wrong with him. He's so normal. He is the most character ever. His backstory reads like a mary sue, but he's such an insane character that it works. He means so much to me, he's like Schrödinger's fandom character. He's either the saddest little boy or the most deranged motherfucker ever. Both are technically canon but also not.

I am the only one with a correct interpretation of him (/j) which is he's sad until he isn't and I like to throw him in situations and bounce him like a rubber ball. I have never met a character I've been more fascinated by and attached to. Literally the most character ever.

He was there when Dick's parents died at 3, and has a picture of him. That memory is what revealed Robin's identity to him, and subsequently Batman's. He goes to boarding school and is both incredibly popular and very reclusive. Everyone loves him and he doesn't understand why. When Jason dies, he stalks Dick to a circus, and bothers him AND THE TITANS for the next few months, to the point that everyone is like: do we. need to call someone. And dick just waves it off.

With Young Justice, he embezzled a batmobile through the batarang budget and Bart immediately crashed it. They went to space without anyone knowing. Tim watched his space car fuck another space car, and was then immediately introduced to a Mr Doug Side by Greta bc she misunderstood his introduction as Darkseid.

After Jason best him in the Titans Tower, Tim kicks him in the dick. And says theyre even. He has multiple future versions of him as batman which are evil and use guns. Old powerful men have a weird fascination with him and want to lock him in a box and study him.

So do i. God so do i.

He means everything to me anon

#bug replies #ask #anonymous #tim drake #batman #dc

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