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addictedtoeddie · 4 years

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The full Esquire Spain interview translated from Spanish:

Eddie Redmayne trial: guilty of being the most talented (and stylish) actor of his generation

The Oscar winner talks about what it means to premiere a film with Aaron Sorkin (The Chicago 7th Trial on Netflix) and filming the new part of the most famous saga of all time under the watchful eye of its author, J.K. Rowling.

By Alba Díaz (text) / JUANKR (photos and video) / Álvaro de Juan (styling) 10/23/2020

At the Kettle’s Yard Gallery in Cambridge, stands alone and leaning on a piano Prometheus, a marble head made by Constantin Brâncusi, and the only piece of art that Eddie Redmayne (London, 1982) would save from possible massive destruction. He tells me about it as he leaves the filming set of the third installment of Fantastic Beasts in the early days of an autumn that, we suspect, we will never forget. It begins to get dark as the actor nods seriously: "I promise to do my best in this interview."

Eddie Redmayne made himself in the theater despite some voices warning him that he could not survive in it. "Many people were in charge to tell me that it would never work, that only extraordinary cases make it and that I would not be able to live from this professionally." Even his father came home one day with a list of statistics on unemployed young actors. Redmayne, who is extremely modest, polite and funny, adds: “But I enjoyed theater so much that I got to the point of thinking that if I could only do one play a year for the rest of my life… I would do it. And that would fill me completely.

Spoiler: since then until today he has participated in many more. He set his first foot in the industry when he debuted at the Shakespeare’s Globe Theater and won over critics and audiences. He then landed his first major role in My Week with Marilyn opposite Michelle Williams. And then came one of the roles of his life, the character he wanted to become an actor for, Marius. With him he sang, led a revolution and broke Cosette's heart in Les Miserables. “I found out about the Les Misérables auditions when I was shooting a movie in Illinois. Dressed like a cowboy. I picked up the iPhone and videotaped myself singing the Marius song. I always wanted to be him ”.

Now Redmayne is an Oscar winner - thanks to his portrayal of Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything - and the protagonist of one of the most important sagas in history, Fantastic Beasts. He plays the magizoologist Newt Scamander in it. When I ask him what it means to him to be the protagonist of a magical world that is so important to millions of people, Eddie sighs and takes a few seconds to answer. “I have always loved the Harry Potter universe. Some people like The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars ... But, for me, the idea that there is a magical world that happens right in front of you, that happens without going any further on the streets of London, that. .. That exploded my imagination in another way.

During the quarantine, J. K. Rowling, who has been in charge of the script of the film, sparked a controversy through a series of tweets about transgender women. Redmayne assures that he does not agree with these statements but that it does not approve of the attacks of some people through social networks. The actor was one of the first to position himself against Rowling alongside Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and other protagonists of her films. "Trans women are women, trans men are men, and non-binary identities are valid."

After having spent a while talking, Redmayne confesses to me that he has never been a big dreamer not to maintain certain aspirations that ended up disappointing him. So he has always kept a handful of dreams to himself. One of them was fulfilled just a few weeks ago with the premiere of The Trial of the Chicago 7, a film written and directed by Aaron Sorkin that can already be seen on Netflix and in some - few - cinemas. “I was on vacation with my wife in Morocco and the script arrived. I think I called my agent before I even read it and said yes, I would. She probably thought the obvious, that I'm stupid. After that, of course I read the script, which is about a specific moment in history that I knew very little about. I found it exciting and a very relevant drama in today's times. "

And it is that having a script by Aaron Sorkin in your hands is no small thing. Eddie Redmayne has been a fan of his work ever since he saw The West Wing of the White House. “His scripts have delicious language and dialogue. As an actor, it's fun to play characters that are much smarter than you are in real life. That virtuosity is hard to come by. I really hope that audiences enjoy this movie and feel that there is always hope. " He remembers that since he released The Theory of Everything he has recorded, to a large extent, English period dramas, “and although the new Aaron Sorkin is not strictly contemporary,” says Redmayne, “to be able to wear jeans and shirts and sweaters instead of so much tweed is great ”.

Besides acting, art was the only thing the actor was interested in, so he ended up studying Art History at Cambridge University. “My parents are quite traditional and when I told them I wanted to act they gave me free rein but on the condition that I study a career. And I'm very grateful for that because ... Look, beyond that, when I play a real character I usually go to the National Portrait Gallery in London quite often. There I lock myself up. Now, for Sorkin's film, I went through a lot of photographs and videotapes. Art helps me to be more creative, to get into paper ”. If he were not an actor, he would be, he says decidedly, a historian or perhaps a curator. "Although I think he would be a very bad art curator."

Against all logic, Eddie Redmayne is color blind. But there is a color that you can distinguish anywhere and on any surface: klein blue. He wrote his thesis on the French artist Yves Klein and the only shade of blue he used in his works. He wrote up to 30,000 words talking about that color with which he became obsessed. “It is surprising that a color can be so emotional. One can only hope to achieve that intensity in acting. "

Like his taste for art, which encompasses the refined and compact, Redmayne seems to be in the same balance when it comes to the roles he chooses. When I ask him what aspects a character he wants to play should have, he takes a few seconds again before answering: “I wish I had a more ingenious answer but I will tell you that I know when my belly hurts. It's that feeling that I trust. In my mind I transport him to imagine myself playing that character. When I read a script I have to really enjoy it. You never fully regret those instincts. It's like when you connect with something emotionally. "

So we come to the conclusion that all his characters have some traits in common. "You know what? I never look back, and this is something personal, but I do believe that there is a parallel between Marius in Les Misérables trying to be a revolutionary, someone who is quite prone to being distracted by love but at the same time is willing to die for his cause, and Tom Hayden from The Chicago Trial of the 7 who was a man who had integrity and was passionate and fought for the things he believed in. So I suppose there may also be similarities between a young Stephen Hawking and Newt Scamander. There are traits in common in all of them that I don't really know where they come from ”.

When we talk about the year we are living in, in which it is increasingly difficult to find hope, we both let out a nervous laugh. "There must be," Redmayne says. “There is something very nice that Tom Hayden, the character I play in Sorkin's film, said to his former wife, actress Jane Fonda, just the day before she passed away. He told her that watching people die for their beliefs changed his life forever. In that sense, I also think about what Kennedy Jr. wrote about how democracy is messy, tough and never easy ... As is believing in something to fight for. I look at history and how they were willing to live their lives with that integrity to change the world and I realize that somehow that spirit still remains with us. " We fell silent thinking about it. "There must be hope."

I tell him about my love for Nick Cave's blog, The Red Hand, and one of the posts that I have liked the most in recent weeks. In it, the singer affirms that his response to a crisis has always been to create, an impulse that has saved him many times. For Redmayne there are two activities that can silence noise: drawing and playing the piano. “When you play the piano your concentration is so consumed by trying to hit that note that you can't think of anything else. Similarly, when you draw something, the focus is between the paper and what you are trying to recreate ... There I try to calm my mind.

Before saying goodbye, I drop a question that I thought I knew the answer to, but failed. What work of art would you save from mass destruction? "How difficult! I could name my favorite artists but still couldn't choose a work. Only one piece? Let me think. I am very obsessed with Yves Klein, but I would stick with a work by Brancusi. There is a sculpture of him, a small head called Prometheus, in Cambridge's Kettle’s Yard, on a dark mahogany piano. The truth is that I find it very ... beautiful ”.

Before leaving, he confesses to me - with a childish and slow voice - that he would like to direct something one day. We said goodbye, saying that we will talk about his next project. Next, the first thing I do is open the Google search engine. "P-r-o-m-e-t-h-e-u-s". Although Eddie Redmayne has trouble distinguishing violet from blue, he doesn't have them when choosing a good piece. He's right, that work deserves to be saved.

* This article appears in the November 2020 issue of Esquire magazine

Source: esquire.com/es/actualidad/cine/a34434114/eddie-redmayne-juicio-7-chicago-netflix-entrevista/

#eddie redmayne #esquire2020 #esquirespain2020nov #esquire spain #chicago7promo #chicago7interview #interview2020 #photoshoot2020 #juankr #my translation

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helpinghanikan · 4 years

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Peter Parker A-Z

Peter Parker A-Z NSFW head-cannons

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

“Thank you,” He’ll usually say, lightly panting while laying on his back. Staring at the ceiling while one hand remains on you. Either cupping your breast or just happening to lay against your equally sweaty skin.

You are usually the one to take care of the other. Taking a drink of water before offering him the same glass.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you: As a young man it’s assumed his favorite part of you would be your breasts, or ass. Nope, it was instead your hands, for all the sweetest reasons. He loves that he can grab and hold them anywhere he wants. He loves the little secrets that go along with it, like how he can feel your pulse by sliding down a bit. A fact he would never have thought about if Mr. Stark didn’t give him some help.

On himself: He likes his arms. His biceps and muscles are usually hidden by the graphic tees and hoodies. It would draw too much attention if he were to show them off so much. So the only people he can show them off to are Ned, other Avengers, and yourself. And the others weren’t as appreciative as you have proven to be.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

It was only after sleeping together a few times that you became more open with each other. After getting past the awkward ‘what goes where’ and ‘what feels good’ you are talking a little deeper with each other.

“So, the webs don’t actually come from you.” You said, laying side by side with your sweaty man.

“I use the swingers and a web like substance. I make it. I just don’t, like, you know, make it.”

“Oh, okay…”

“Did you think that was coming out of me?” he asks.

“Maybe I thought it would cum out of you?” You said this but he didn’t give you the satisfaction of seeing your ‘do you get it?’ face. Instead he kept looking upwards, her confusion face now in place.

“Is that how spiders work?” he asks, probably himself.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As you explored with each other Peter has thought about adding a third. Obviously only if you were okay with it; bringing in another guy or a girl, maybe even another hero? Or, maybe anti-hero?

It’s all up to you, though. Too embarrassed to outright ask you, but not enough to stop fantasizing.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

At his age Peter is as inexperienced as one can get. Every move and touch was followed by either a question or a look asking the same thing. It was cute at first, but after a bit it gets a little annoying. Not to the point that you had snapped at him, but enough that you wouldn’t answer and just give a look.

If you are more experienced there’s a bit of training that happens during your love making. It’s not that you were treating him like a dog, you were just giving suggestions and directions.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes it when you’re on top. Both for the view, the feeling and just the overall confidence that comes with handing over most of the reins.

With his hands on your hips, and his feet flat on the floor or bed, he can focus on the smaller details against you. Sometimes becoming confident enough to lean forward, kissing your stomach or maybe taking a bite.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It almost always starts with jokes or tickling when left alone together. Only when a hand is placed somewhere and not removed was when hands would begin to wonder further. The mood peaking when you’d make fun of his expression when seeing your breasts, it was the same look every time.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s something that he secretly obsesses over; some men shaves it down, so it looks bigger. While others leave it because they don’t care or see a difference. With advice coming from every direction Peter has learned to only barely alter his hair.

The nightmare scenario of cutting himself and needing to call for help. Or worse, that Aunt May could be the one who sees like that. Is better than any other argument could give.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Any bit of intimacy Peter had learned from movies and books (all borrowed from Aunt May, of course). So candles and flowers are expected when he tries to go above and beyond. It’s only when you directly explain that want anything different that things change.

The first time you had a discussion of romance was when the candle fell over and there goes your comforter. The entire room might have been in flames if Peter’s radar wasn’t always on.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Well, he’s young, what do you expect?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s submissive, that’s a simple fact. It’s something that can help him forget about all the stress and tension he has to go through. It’s where he doesn’t have to be in charge, doesn’t have to be the hero and can let the world fade out behind him.

He gets this look when he gets into it. A kind of soft smile from soft lips that can you can only stare at for so long. His eyes demanding you look into them. And, when you do, it’s like love was just discovered by Peter Parker.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He prefers your place over his. Even when you’re old enough and in college or your apartment, nothing near him feels safe. At his place there’s a symbolic warning light on the door, like, at any moment Aunt May was going to come in and ruin the moment.

It’s only predictable that the one time you convinced him to ‘not worry about it,’ BOOM Hi, Aunt May, how are you?

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

At first it was just holding his hand could get his thoughts racing. After a while things began to get more specific. Coming back to his inner nerdiness and how a pencil or pen to your lips was better than nude.

It was mean, maybe a little patronizing, but your eyebrows coming together in confusion. Trying to figure what it was out with the pen or fingers toying with your face? Yeah, studying can happen later.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t like pain above a certain level. That level is maybe a few swats on the bare backside but that’s it. Pain is something that’s not fun; it’s connected to villains and failure and crushing and death. It’s not something that belongs with you or anyone he loves.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to giver rather than receive. His eyes looking up at you throughout the entire event, silently asking if what he was doing was correct. Maybe adding a finger or moving a certain way? Looking up after doing so, getting a sound of confirmation and continuing on.

It’s when he’s receiving that he gets loud. His hands almost always flying to his mouth, gasping when being taken in and groaning into those same hands. When his hands are to his mouth he’s grabbing at your hair, groaning while leaning forward, almost bent over when he cums.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

At first he moved like a rabbit. As if going as quickly as possible was the key to an orgasm from both parties. Placing a hand on his chest, almost pushing him off, was the only way to let him know that he needs to tone it down a bit.

After that he learned to listen to both of your bodies. Now, starting slow before getting faster. It’s only when he’s on the edge that he starts to lose control. When that happens his hair is sweaty, and his mouth is slightly open with moans and little words of thanks. There’s no way you can ask him to slow down then.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It’s actually one of your things to meet up on your roof. Where you’d hang around for a few minutes before being swept off your feet and into the air. Screaming from the excitement rather than anything else.

Other than that it’s really only when at parties that he cares about it. Whether it’s a party party with each other’s friends or something he was invited to because of his connections. Other than that it wasn’t something he really preferred over regular sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

The closest to risks he takes is the little meetups while on patrol. Even those are only done while on solid ground (or roof, whichever), it’s more of the suit aspect then the risk aspect.

As far as experimenting goes he usually game, so long as it’s not too intense. Not really interested in the kind of stuff that hurts too much. Rather a tie down and tease kind of guy rather then tie up and smack around.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

It’s a combination of his youth and powers that he has much more stamina then most. It’s one of the reasons that he prefers regular, take your time, sex over quickies.

It’s also how he likes to have his own control over you, even while being the more submissive partner. Even with his hands pushed to the bed and you on top, he can take you over the edge again and again. Watch your face and body change from the pleasure from a position where he’s nothing more than a tool. A tool that gets to see your eyes roll back and keep it in memory.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You have shared toys of light restraints. There was also a strap you two had gotten on a whim. Truth be told, they’re barely used. Either completely forgotten about when you get together or you bring it up and just aren’t in the mood for that tonight.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He unintentionally throughout the day. How he holds your hand or leans against you. And his face, his stupid face that smiles at you or looks at you that way. It’s almost frustrating how you can’t grab him right there and then.

He’s mentioned before, trying to be casual while doing so, that he actually likes being the one teased. It preferable that way as he’s still learning the ins and outs.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It’s almost another kink that your hands have to cover his mouth sometimes. Even in the privacy of your own apartment or dorm room. Moaning and groaning like a good little boy that wants to be sure you know how great you are.

It’s only when its outside your room that he becomes aware of just how loud he is. Pressing his mouth into your shoulder or putting both hands to his mouth. That extra level of awareness makes his face blush pink from his cheeks to the ears. When you move his hands away you better be quick with a kiss or someone just might hear.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Although not sexual his favorite part of being with you was the cuddling. Be it clothed or naked, he loves to almost be on your lap, to be the small spoon, and just to be held.

His heart is near bursting when you raise your arm while on the couch or bed. Giving a perfect invitation for him to slide right into. Pressing under your neck and letting the world vanish from the affection he was getting.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Another thing he obsesses over in combination with his grooming. Constantly worrying if he was smaller than average or if something was wrong. It’s not like a doctor can tell him if the spider bite had any effect down there. In reality he was average, maybe thinner then expected but still enjoyable.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He likes to have you before going on patrol or when there is nothing planned for that night. With clashing schedules he can’t exactly track you don’t after classes. Even if he was fantasizing all throughout the day.

On the rare times that you were together, watching a show and cuddling, he’ll get ideas. One of you sliding over the other’s clothes and starting to kiss. Starting to go deeper because, hey, you were alone.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Even after going through the ringer Peter is still pretty squirrelly, either wanting to go again or getting dressed and going about getting food or homework. All the while you try to keep your eyes open, reassuring him that he’s fine. Go and finish whatever, just bring you back a sandwich from wherever

#reader insert #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman x reader #A-Z headcannons #spiderman imagine #peter parker imagine

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vateacancameos · 4 years

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All in the Family

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 4,150 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Both Linny and Drarry, Meet the Family, The Talk, Mentions of Ginny having tattoos, because she'd look awesome in tattoos and i just had to add that in, POV Ginny Weasley, POV Draco Malfoy

Summary: There comes a time in many romantic relationships when you have to meet the family. It’s usually nerve-wracking and awkward and something to be dreaded. Take a peek into Ginny’s and Draco’s minds during this step.

Story:

Ginny took a deep breath and squinted at her image in the mirror. She looked like her usual self, but a little neater: hair in a sleek ponytail, skin tanned from hours of practice and games, far too many freckles for her liking, but not a thing she could help, brightly colored tattoos wiggling on her arms. She smoothed hands over cropped jeans that probably sported a few too many holes. Did the green shirt make her look like a Christmas tree? No, Luna called it kelly green, not Christmas green. She said it complimented her skin and freckles, which she liked far better than Ginny did. She smiled at the thought.

“You look lovely, dear,” the mirror told her. But the mirror always said that, being owned by Luna who was (1) Ginny’s girlfriend and therefore prone to overcomplimenting and (2) a ball of sunshine even in the darkest times and would never own a mirror that wasn’t similarly inclined.

“It’s not too butch? Is it butch enough? I need to give the perfect impression here: respectable but not a floor mat. Meeting the family doesn’t happen every day.”

“You look like a beautiful summer day.”

Ginny huffed. Help would not come from this corner, apparently. She was about to call in her girlfriend, but Luna must have felt Ginny’s need, as she somehow always did, because she wandered in just then, putting on her earrings as she walked. She beamed.

“You look like a beautiful summer day!”

Ginny could feel the mirror puffing up behind her. She rolled her eyes.

“But is it good for a first impression?”

Keep reading below the cut

Luna frowned and tilted her head. “But it’s not a first impression. You’ve known him for years.”

“But not …” Ginny began, waving her arms when the words wouldn’t come. “Not like this. With romantic intention or whatever.” She wiped sweaty hands on her trousers again. “I have to give off a specific impression today. I have to be firm but, ugh, friendly.”

“You’re always friendly.” Luna smiled dreamily. “I remember when we first met, when your family invited mine to dinner. Your brothers were so loud, and you were too at first. It was overwhelming. But then you stopped fighting with them and came over to me. You smiled like the sun and said, ‘I like your hat.’”

“It was a very cool hat.”

They hadn’t seen much of each other before Hogwarts, but Ginny had always liked the rare occasions she got to spend with the odd, quiet little girl who was one of her nearest wizarding neighbors. She was so much the opposite of the rowdy Weasleys—calm, thoughtful, so very smart, and most importantly, a girl her age. It was peaceful and fun being with Luna.

Realizing how good being around Luna felt was what made Ginny finally break things off with Harry the year before. Harry was always in slight opposition to whatever life threw at him. Yes, he weathered storms durably, but he was never … comfortable. Content. Even after she talked him out of joining the aurors—which had at least taken off some of the pressure to be the perfect Boy Who Lived Twice—he still seemed restless. Even with Ginny. Especially with Ginny. So she’d let go of her dream of marrying the boy she’d had a crush on for as long as she could remember and soon after had fallen into the arms of someone who made her feel more wanted and loved and perfect than she’d ever felt before. Life was better now, with Luna to help ground her. Perhaps Ginny had been at odds with life too. She and Harry were very alike in some ways.

Which brought her back to her current dilemma.

“I’m not going for happy summer day vibes, though.”

Luna’s eyebrows crinkled. “What vibes are you aiming for then?”

Ginny rubbed an arm. “Ummm. Respectable but intimidating?” At the skeptical look from her girlfriend, she continued. “I can be intimidating.”

Luna smiled softly and laid her hands on Ginny’s cheeks. “Of course you are. You wouldn’t be a starting chaser for the Holyhead Harpies if you weren’t intimidating.”

Ginny snorted. “Are you ever going to get tired of stating my full position title? I was moved up to starter, like, four months ago.”

“Never!” Luna said with a grin.

After giving her a quick peck on the lips, Ginny turned back to the mirror, and Luna put her arms around her waist from behind. “Why do you need to be intimidating for family dinner?”

“Because it’s not just family dinner. It’s meet the family dinner. I have to give the right impression.”

“Which would be intimidating?” Luna’s breath and the vibration of her voice tickled Ginny’s neck. She liked it.

“Yes.”

“Even though you’ve met before. Many times.”

“Yes.”

There was a pause. “I still don’t get it.”

Ginny sighed and turned in her girlfriend’s arms. “This is Harry.”

“Whom you’ve known since you were ten. Whom you’ve dated. Twice.”

“I don’t want to intimidate Harry.”

Understanding smoothed out Luna’s face and widened her eyes. “Oh. You’re protective of him.”

“Yes!”

“Is Draco intimidatable?”

“Is intimidatable a word?”

“It is now.”

“Then yes, he is. I remember his pointy little ferret face completely blanching when I threatened him with hexes.” Good times …

“Your bat bogey hex is pretty frightening. Also, you should be nice.”

“It’s fucking Malfoy. I’m still not sure how Harry is even dating him. And I’m ninety percent sure I don’t like that they’re dating. Ugh. Malfoy. I’m getting annoyed just thinking about it.” She buried her face in Luna’s shoulder. She smelled like lilacs and sparkles. Ginny wasn’t sure how she managed the latter, but it was true. She smelled like sparkles. It was nice.

“You promised Harry you’d stop hating him. And you promised your father before that.”

“Ugh. I know. But it’s Malfoy. He’s an arse!”

“Ginny.” Luna’s voice turned stern, as it only rarely did, so Ginny straightened up.

“Sorry. I really am trying. It’s just … Harry hated him for so long, and he used to say such mean things to us, especially to Hermione. My brain has trouble believing he’s changed enough for Harry to fall for him. Are you certain he’s not under a spell or love potion?”

“Ginny.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed. “He helped you when you were a prisoner at the manor. And he kept Harry from being recognized. It’s just …”

“It’s hard to flip around what you knew about him all through school.”

“Mmm,” Ginny grunted in agreement, going in for another hug. Luna hugs were the best. She always felt so protected and calmed in a Luna hug.

Luna tightened her arms in a squeeze before letting go and stepping back. “I think the dark gray button-down and the obsidian necklace I got you for your birthday, if you’re going for intimidating.”

Ginny raised her eyebrows before shucking the green tee and rifling through the wardrobe for the suggested top instead. “You’re helping me?”

“Well, I was actually going to suggest it anyway. George told me that since Bill isn’t able to come, you should give Draco the ‘you hurt him, and I break your kneecaps’ talk. Ron can’t give it, because he’ll just get yell-y, and he’s not terribly intimidating even like that. And George is afraid he might actually break Draco’s kneecaps, and he can’t go to Azkaban right now, what with the baby on the way. And Percy would just put him to sleep explaining the details.”

Laughing as she buttoned up her shirt, Ginny privately agreed. Being a professional athlete meant she’d had to learn rein in her temper, and she’d always been closest to Bill in temperament anyway. “We could ask Charlie to swoop in on a dragon. That might work.”

“George asked, but apparently he’s busy watching over this year’s births. He offered to send a howler though.” Luna’s expression said that she thought these were perfectly reasonable suggestions.

That sounded about right for her brothers too. “We’ll keep that tactic on reserve in case my intimidation doesn’t work. I dunno about being the one giving the talk, though. I thought I was just going to glare at him across the table all through dinner …” She finished rolling up her sleeves to her elbows, letting the bottom half of her tattoo sleeves show on her forearms. She eyed her image critically. “Better? Are you sure about the necklace? I need to be more butch, don’t I? To be intimidating?”

Luna shook her head, taking the ends of said necklace to clasp them behind Ginny’s neck. “Draco likes classy. He’d probably be more impressed if you wore black trousers, but then you wouldn’t be you.” She wrinkled her nose, and Ginny agreed with the sentiment. She lived in jeans and trainers, only owning black trousers to wear at semi-formal events for work. Not to mention that her brothers, Harry included, would take the mickey if she showed up in something beyond her regular clothes.

She sighed a final time and turned to her girlfriend. “Okay, let’s get this over with. Ugh. But I swear, if he is at all acting like an arsehole, I will cut a bitch.”

***

Draco wiped his sweaty palms on the sofa fabric for the eightieth time in the twenty minutes he’d been at the Weasley abode. He’d met them all before, of course. Most of them had attended school with him. And he’d seen them at his trial. Arthur had even been kind enough to shake his hand after he’d been cleared of the worst of his charges. Granted, it hadn’t been completely out of kindness. Draco’s community service sentence had been to work in Arthur’s office for two years after his release, so he’d also been officially introducing himself as Draco’s supervisor. But even with the formality of it, Arthur had seemed kind. Serious, yes, but not in any way malicious or aloof, which was more than how the Malfoys had addressed the Weasleys in the past.

And Draco had quickly become comfortable around the eccentric man. Arthur might come off as a bit kooky, but he was ever the professional at work, and Draco appreciated that, along with being so thankful that the man wouldn’t continue to punish him for his past (terrible) choices. So yes, he’d worked with Arthur for two years, and gone to school with most of the other Weasleys, but this was different. This wasn’t just dinner with friendly acquaintances (though only Arthur fell into that category), this was meeting the family as the romantic partner of their practically adopted son/brother.

He and Harry hadn’t been dating that long, and the only Weasleys he’d interacted with since the relationship had begun were Percy and Ron. Percy was fine, if a little dry, and even Ron had graduated from angry scowls to only looking like he had a slightly upset stomach. But the other Weasleys were more unknown. Luckily Bill and Charlie were busy, so tonight that only left Molly, George, and Ginny (“if you call her the Weaselette, Draco, I will hurt you,” Luna had warned during their latest tea date). At least he’d had some interactions with Molly and George back when he and Harry were still just friends and he had with Arthur for two years, but Ginny he probably hadn’t said a dozen words to since they’d left school.

So even though the brothers might be intimidating, Ginny was the unknown. Harry swore they were completely over each other, and closer now as almost siblings than they had been as paramours, but Draco wasn’t sure what to think of her. He’d tossed out jealousy pretty early. Harry only ever spoke of her in the fond way of close friends/family. But that still left a lot of unknowns. He’d been on the wrong end of her hexes on several occasions, and she was a chaser for a professional quidditch team (one of the scariest teams out there, no less), so he knew she had both bark and bite. It was likely she’d employ some intimidation tactics, but would it stop there? Was she jealous of him? He didn’t think so, hearing Luna wax poetic about her constantly during their tea dates. But there could still be some genuine hate from her. Nothing he didn’t deserve, though.

He wished Luna and Ginny would just show up already, so he could get this dinner thing over with. Harry warned that there would probably be a “hurt him and I’ll hurt you” threat taking place that evening, but he didn’t know who had drawn the short straw on that. Unless they went in for a four-pronged attack from all of the present siblings. Merlin, he hoped not.

As if he’d summoned them with his thoughts, the two women burst through the door, calling out greetings to everyone else. Ginny headed for the kitchen without a glance at Draco, but Luna brightened further and made a beeline for the sofa.

She gave him a quick hug. “I would say you clean up well except …”

“Except I always look this good?”

“I was going to say except that you could still use some work, but if you want to go with yours, that’s fine. What’s important is that you believe it.” Her smile was deceptively serene, and the glitter in her hair and the fairy necklace didn’t help present her as anything other than innocent. But Draco knew better after years of slowly cultivating their friendship.

Draco clutched his heart in mock hurt. “Harsh. When does the girlfriend start full-time training again? I think you’re spending too much time together.”

Luna’s effervescent smile dimmed a little. “In three weeks. This will be our first full season as a couple. From what I gather, I’ll barely see her between the start of training and their first season game.”

Draco felt similar trepidation. School would be starting soon, and Harry would be a full-time professor for the first time this year. He’d spent the last few years tutoring and job shadowing while waiting for the current DADA professor to retire, so they were somewhat used to being apart as friends, but never as a couple.

(It was odd knowing that Hogwarts had employed the same DADA professor for six years running; odder still to think of perpetual disaster Harry James Potter as a professor. Draco really wished he’d use the hair potion Draco had bought him a few weeks ago; he needed to look more professional, but Harry had argued that if Dumbledore and Snape could get away with long, shaggy hair, so could he. Draco knew a losing argument when he saw one, so he’d given up after a week.)

Beyond Harry’s soon-to-be-full schedule after a summer of freedom, the two of them had only been dating for a few months, and Draco wasn’t sure how the change in daily routine would affect them. Harry tried to subdue the worries, but Draco saw that he was hiding some qualms of his own. They’d each only been in one prior relationship, so there was a chance that any change would break them apart.

Luna, reading his mind, as always, swooped in for another hug. “It’ll be fine,” she whispered in his ear before pulling back. How did she do that? “Your face, silly. You’re an open book. Not to mention, I got to hear you list your worries ad nauseum during tea last week.”

She had him there. “I just want tonight to be over already.”

“Mmmm,” she hummed in sympathy. “I remember how my meet-the-family dinner went. Oh! I wanted to warn you. Ginny’s giving you The Talk tonight.”

Draco leaned back in surprise. “Just her?” If any single one of the Weasleys was going to give him The Talk, he’d have expected one of the older ones, or maybe Ron, because he and Harry were best friends. But Draco had never expected The Talk from solely the youngest (and only female) sibling. Her status as the baby should have kept her out of the running. Just because Draco lived in constant slight terror to this day of being hit by one of her hexes, he didn’t expect the others to feel the same.

“Well, she’s most similar to Bill, isn’t she. The others know you’d respect it more coming from her.”

“Yeah, I reckon. Do you know when she’s going to do it?”

Before she could answer, Ginny entered the sitting room and addressed the others who peppered the space. “George and Ron, Harry and Dad need help outside.”

The two men looked up from where they were brainstorming new ideas for the shop, shrugged, then left the room. Hermione looked up from the baby jumper she was knitting for George and Angelina’s upcoming baby—at least, she said it was a jumper; it looked more like a lumpy blue snowball with arms.

“They’re not still trying to charm the new car, are they?” Ginny gave her a “what do you think” look, and Hermione sighed, dropped the knitting, and followed the others outside.

“I’m going to see if Molly and Angelina want help in the kitchen,” Luna added with a sympathetic look at Draco before hurrying out as well, the traitor.

Draco took a deep breath. “So it’s to be you, then? Lose a bet?”

Ginny looked a little stunned, then reluctantly amused. She dropped down onto the coffee table across from him. “I’d like to think I won.”

She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, and the dragon tattoo on her right arm blew out an inky flame, as if to back her up. She looked more serious than usual, which was enhanced by the dark button-down she wore, so in opposition to her usual bright but scruffy t-shirts. She still sported holey trousers and her grungy trainers, though, but she made it work. Or maybe Draco was just getting inured to the sloppy look, dating someone who wore the same style like a uniform. He looked down to see that he still had on his own high-end trousers and button-down and relaxed a bit in relief.

He waved a hand so she’d get started. The sooner they talked, the sooner they’d be done, the sooner dinner would be done, the sooner he could get back home and revel in the warmth of Harry’s body in bed next to his (Harry called it cuddling, but Draco never would, ugh).

She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Look. I know Dad respects you, so I learned to stop hating you a while ago.” She sighed. “And for whatever strange reason, Luna likes you, so I can admit that you’ve probably changed from the utter fucking dickhead you were in school.”

Draco choked on his own saliva. He’d forgotten she had the same sailor mouth Harry did. Or maybe he’d never known. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, given her whole … persona. Still, Luna was all rainbows and puppies about her, and Harry talked about her like a little sister, so he forgot sometimes that she was an adult and a quidditch star with the mouth to go along with it.

She glared, and he cleared his throat. “Yes, thank you. I appreciate that. Go on.”

“Thanks,” she said with so much sarcasm, he could practically hear the “I hate it” she didn’t voice. “So yeah, you’ve changed. You’re a new fucking man. Bright and shiny new leaves turned over. Whatever.” She sat up straight, her eyes boring through Draco so hard, he expected to feel two dots of heat on his forehead. “I’ll even say I’m okay with you two dating, even though it’s completely weird. I never thought I’d see the day someone in our family dated a Malfoy.”

She spit out his name out in a way that made him think back to an altercation their dads had had in Diagon Alley years ago. Harry had been there too, now that he thought about it. Her tone now was the same as Arthur’s had been then. Trying so hard to be a respectful adult, but barely hiding anger underneath. He didn’t think she was quite as okay as she claimed. He really didn’t blame her. His family was bad news. He shrugged, hoping he’d convey that the idea was still weird to him too. Him. Dating Harry Potter. What alternate universe had they fallen into?

“But Harry really likes you,” she continued, “and I trust him. I think.” A wrinkled eyebrow said otherwise, but Draco kept mum. “He’s an adult, and so if he wants to date you, that’s his prerogative. But know this.” She leaned forward again. “You even look at him wrong, and I’ll dropkick you so hard into last Tuesday, that even if we hadn’t destroyed all of the ministry’s time turners, you still wouldn’t be able to get back. Got it?”

He tried to tell himself they were just words. This was a ritual every new boyfriend went through. It was normal. But then again, this was Harry Potter. Nothing about him was normal, and that included his family. Draco had seen Ginevra Weasley in battle, and he’d been subjected to her hexes in school. She’d dated Harry and must therefore know the feeling of wanting to wrap him in cotton fluff and hide him from the cruel world. They weren’t just words to her. She meant business, and he appreciated that. They both wanted the best for Harry, and if Draco failed to be that, he deserved whatever punishment she and her clan would mete out to him.

“Thank you.”

She jerked her head back and frowned. “What?”

“Harry deserves to have the fiercest warriors in his corner. I’m glad he has friends and family who will be that for him.”

“Hm. Yes, he does.” Despite her words, she looked suspicious.

“And, in that vein,” he continued with a spark of realization, “you hurt Luna, and it’ll take them a month remove all the curses from you.”

She cocked her head for a moment, then relaxed her shoulders and almost smiled. “Deal.”

She held out a hand, and he took it, wondering if his own was about to be crushed so hard, he’d need SkeleGrow to knit his bones back together. Her grip was firm to the point of being uncomfortable, but after they shook, all of his bones still seemed to be in place and whole.

A call came from Molly in the kitchen then, so they both stood, back to feeling slightly awkward with each other. Just as they were about to head through the door, Ginny put a hand on his wrist. Draco looked over at her face in question.

“Um, Harry. He’s … he’s really happy these days. The happiest I’ve ever seen him. Thank you.” Her face was soft, and the most open Draco had ever seen it.

“I’m glad you think so.” Uncomfortable with the serious mood coming from a Weasley, he smirked. “Luna seems to be rubbing off on you as well. I think this is the most cleaned up I’ve ever seen you. Not bad, Weasley the Youngest.”

She barked out a short laugh, then got an evil glint in her eye. “I’m glad you approve, since I stole this shirt from your wardrobe. Who wears such drab colors voluntarily? I’d be getting hives from it if I didn’t have my tats to liven it up.”

He let out a surprised laugh of his own, which was drowned out by the lively mess of humans crowding around the kitchen table. He’d survived The Talk with the scariest Weasley (besides Bill). He felt confident he could survive the rest of the family.

***

After they’d apparated back to their flat, Luna jumped on Ginny to give one of the octopus hugs Ginny loved. After a quick peck on her cheek, Luna snuggled closer. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Any particular reason at this moment, or just my general awesomeness?”

Luna giggled. “You are pretty awesome, but it’s not just that this time.”

Realization dawned in Ginny. “Were you spying on my talk with Mal- Draco?”

“No.” Luna shook her head vehemently, eyes wide. “But I saw the way you two looked when you came into the kitchen afterward.”

“Which was …?” Ginny prepared herself for any number bubbly adjectives about to come out of her girlfriend’s mouth.

“Like two adults who have come to an agreement of mutual respect.”

Eyebrow raised, Ginny only said, quite intelligently, “hmm.”

“But also adorable and chummy. I saw the way you were smiling, Ginevra.”

“And there’s the girlfriend I know and love,” Ginny said drily, but she gave said girlfriend a kiss.

“I’m proud of you.”

Ginny grinned. “Good. I like making you proud.”

Luna hummed. “My respectable, beautiful, starting chaser quidditch star girlfriend.”

“That’s me.”

***

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to leave kudos on ao3, find the link in my reblog.

#harry potter #linny #drarry #fanfic #meeting the family #meagan writes #ginny x luna #harry x draco

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punkrockmads · 4 years

Text

I Need You Now

Unspoken Words part 2

It's been a week since Sarah left her room. A week since anybody but Ellie has heard a word from her. They've tried. Jesse tried, Dina, Joel, Tommy... Hell, even Maria tried. But nothing can convince the girl to speak to them or leave her room to do anything other than use the bathroom or shower. After many failed attempts, Joel decided it was best to give her space.

So, she hides in her room, wondering what she did wrong. Wondering why Joel didn't want to be her dad. If only she'd given him a chance to explain himself. She's angry, but beyond that, she's hurt. The only person she talks to is Ellie. Ellie's the only one who doesn't try to force her to talk or leave her bedroom. She simply sits with her, makes sure she's feeling okay and that she's eating, and does everything she can to keep her from shutting down completely. If she's lucky, Sarah will comment on the stories about patrol or Boston that Ellie tells her. Usually, she just stays quiet, cracking a small smile at the funny things Ellie says to try and get her to laugh. It hurts Ellie to see Sarah so distant, but she knows the girl just needs time. She understands how it feels to realize someone lied to you about something important for years.

Today is no different. Ellie enters Sarah's room with two small bowls of soup. Sarah's asleep at her desk, right cheek smushed against the wood, a pen and a notebook beside her. Ellie sets the bowls on the desk, nudging Sarah lightly to wake her up. Sarah's eyes flicker as she allows herself to be pulled away from sleep. She sits up, rubbing at her eyes to hide any obvious signs of crying that Ellie has already seen.

"Hey." Ellie says, offering Sarah a small smile. She leans against the desk. "I, uh... thought I'd eat with you today. Keep you company."

"Okay." Sarah responds, the tiniest hint of a smile on her face. Ellie nods, grabbing the bowls once more and moving to sit by the window. Sarah watches, only moving when Ellie waves her over. She takes a seat in front of Ellie, taking the soup she's handed.

"Maria asked about you today." Ellie eats a bit of her soup, glancing at Sarah. "Wanted to know how you were doing."

"Oh." Sara says, quietly.

"Yeah. She wanted me to ask if you were wanting to go on patrols again. Get out of the house for a bit." Ellie continues. Sarah thinks it over. "She can assign you with Jesse."

"Why would that matter?" Sarah asks. Ellie finds a bit of comfort in the fact that she's talking more.

"Cause everyone knows you two like each other." Ellie says, a teasing smile on her face as she shoves Sarah with her foot.

Sarah shoves her back, rolling her eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure." Ellie says sarcastically. "But seriously, it'd be good for you to get back out there. That way you're not cooped up in here all day."

Sarah bites her lip, contemplating what Ellie said. "I think that's a good idea." She concludes. "Just... I don't think I'm ready to speak to Joel yet."

"Did he tell you why he lied?" Ellie asks. Sarah shakes her head. "When he lost your mom, he didn't wanna get close to you and possibly lose you, too. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. When he told me he wanted to tell you, I said it was a good idea."

"Still wish he wouldn't have lied." Sarah mumbles. "Or screamed at me when I called him dad."

"Yeah, that was kinda dumb." Ellie admits. "He's crushed, y'know? He really didn't wanna hurt you, he just couldn't hide it anymore." She puts a hand on Sarah's knee. "He loves you, Sarah. He kinda sucks at showing it, but it's true. Every day, he asks me how you're doing, if you're eating... he worries about you."

"Yeah." Sarah says. "I know."

A month passes and Sarah still hasn't spoken a word to Joel. He leaves notes on her bedroom door or the kitchen table for her to read before patrol. Simple notes that say things like 'Made you breakfast' or 'won't be back till late tonight'. He's even been watching over Gus after he was accidentally left on the couch. Sarah's spent as much time as she can going on patrol and picking up extra chores; anything to stay away from the house for as long as possible. Maria's put limits on how much she can do, though. She's afraid Sarah will overwork herself. Usually, the patrols are simple but today's would prove to be a bit more eventful.

Sarah's in her head, not really focusing on searching for infected as she rides behind Jesse to the next patrol sign in. Jesse's talking but, for some reason, Sarah can't pay attention. She keeps remembering what happened at St. Mary's two years ago. She isn't happy with how they saved Ellie but she's happy they did save her. Ellie is like a sister to her. But that's not what she's thinking about. She's thinking about being shot. The feeling of the bullet going into her torso as they were running. She didn't say a word, didn't even flinch, she just kept going. But what if she hadn't been able to? What if she had fallen and was too weak to run? Would Joel have helped her? No, there'd be no way for him to save her. He had Ellie and she clearly couldn't run. He would've left her there... right? He would've abandoned her...

"Earth to Sarah!" Jesse snaps her out of her thoughts. She looks up to see him staring back at her. "You good back there?"

"Yeah, sorry." Sarah replies quickly, tightening her grip on Ponyo's reins. Jesse looks forward again.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, stopping in front of the next sign in; an old bar Tommy had said was shut down way before the apocalypse.

"Just... I was thinking about Joel." Sarah says, deciding not to tell him everything going on in her head.

"You still mad at him?" Jesse asks as they tie up their horses to a pipe outside the back of the building.

"A bit." Sarah admits, walking in front of Jesse into the bar through a hole in the wall that's hidden by vines. "But, I think I understand why he did it now. Why he lied, I mean." The bar smells like damp soil and rotting wood. Thankfully, the broken glass that once littered the floors has been cleaned to make it safer to walk around. That doesn't mean they don't have to watch where they walk, though. In certain areas, the wooden floor is rotten enough to break underneath them if they step on it.

"Maybe you should talk to him." Jesse says, signing the two in as Sarah peeks through the windows. "He feels really bad. I don't think I've seen him this upset since that fight he had with Ellie. Even then, it only took them a couple weeks to make up."

"Joel doesn't like fighting." Sarah says, simply. It's easier to say that than 'He lied to Ellie because he didn't want her to sacrifice herself for a possible cure for humanity.' "I was thinking about talking to him tonight, actually."

"That's good." Jesse says, a hopeful smile on his face. "I'm sure he'll be really happy about that."

"Yeah." Sarah says, looking around at all the abandoned booths and barstools. "I kinda feel like a dick for shutting him out, y'know?"

"He understands why you did it." Jesse assures Sarah, moving to stand in front of her.

"Yeah, but I... I shouldn't have done that to him. Or you and Dina. You didn't deserve that."

"Hey." Jesse puts a hand on her head. "Don't worry about it." He gives her a warm smile. "I've got something to show you. C'mon, shorty."

"I may be short but I'll kick your ass." Sarah warns, teasingly.

"I don't doubt it." Jesse chuckles, leading her through a door to the Employees Only room. Sarah follows, confused. There was never any reason to go back here.

"Where are we going?" She asks. Jesse stays quiet, moving a heavy metal filing cabinet out of the corner and revealing a hole in the wall. "Jesse?"

"Just c'mon. You're gonna like this." He says, crawling through the hole. Sarah groans, looking behind her before crawling in after Jesse. Jesse helps her stand up and she looks around. They're in a very small, very cramped bathroom.

"Wow." She laughs, tone full of sarcasm. "I love this bathroom."

"Well, then you're gonna love what's outside of this bathroom even more." Jesse grins, pulling a set of keys out of his back pocket.

"Shouldn't it lock from the inside?" Sarah asks, watching Jesse unlock the door.

"Yeah, but I switched the handle around so nobody could get in here." Jesse explains, opening the door. "You coming?" He asks, holding the door open. Sarah walks into the medium sized room. It's empty other than a few boxes, a door that's boarded up, and a desk in the far right corner with a wooden chair.

"What is this?" Sarah looks around. The room is lit only by a window on the right wall that lets in sunlight.

"It's an Employees Only room. You know that hair salon next door?" Sarah nods. "It's connected to that."

"Does anyone else know this is here?"

"If I wanted other people to know it was here, do you think I'd keep it locked up?" Jesse asks, rhetorically.

"Okay, I see your point." Sarah chuckles.

"Now, I know it's not much but I was thinking we could fix it up a bit, make it look cool, and turn it into our own private hangout. Just you and me. Whaddya say?" Jesse gives her a hopeful look, silently pleading for her to say yes.

"I think I can get behind that." Sarah decides, smiling at him.

"Yes!" Jesse yells, raising a fist in the air. "Oh... Hey, Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"Look up." Sarah does so, eyes going wide and smile growing bigger.

"Stars?" She chuckles in disbelief. The ceiling had been painted to look like the night sky. Blends of dark blues and blacks, tiny white dots to look like twinkling stars.

"You like it?" Jesse asks, hands on his hips. Sarah turns to look at him.

"Did you...?" She can't seem to form a sentence, completely in awe. Jesse just nods, his heart fluttering at her reaction. "How did you paint this?"

"My mom found a bunch of old paints in storage and gave them to me." Jesse explains. "I wasn't sure what to do with them at first but, when I saw this place... it just clicked." Sarah lunges at him, making him take a step back at the force as she hugs him.

"Thank you, Jesse." Sarah mumbles into his shirt. "This is amazing."

"Aww, you're welcome, shorty." Jesse says, hugging her. Sarah pinches his side and he flinches. "Ow! Okay, I guess I deserved that."

"You did." Sarah chuckles, pulling away. She looks around the room, noticing the boarded up door. "Think we can get this open?" She points to the door.

"Actually..." Jesse walks over to the wooden desk, opening one of the drawers. "I know we can." He takes out a hammer, grinning.

"You just conveniently have a hammer laying around?" Sarah asks.

"I meant to take these boards off last time I was here. So, yes. I conveniently have a hammer laying around." With some effort and assistance from Sarah, Jesse manages to pry the boards off the wall. He turns the handle of the door, walking into the salon.

"Well, this place is a wreck." Sarah comments, looking around at all of the misplaced items. Spray bottles, hair dryers, shampoo... there were even a few cracked mirrors.

"Front door's boarded up." Jesse says, walking to the middle of the room. The floor creaks loudly underneath him and, before either of them can react, it collapses and he falls through onto the cement floor of the basement with a loud crash.

"Jesse!" Sarah yells, running towards the hole.

"Fuck! I- I'm fine! I'm okay!" Jesse calls, slowly trying to stand up. "Just fell onto a pile of glass..." He pushes himself up, looking at a panicked Sarah.

"You scared the shit out of me!" Sarah exclaims. She's about to yell more but notices blood soaking through Jesse's jeans. "Jesse... your leg." Jesse looks down at his right thigh. "You got cut."

"That's a lot of blood." Jesse mumbles. He looks around. "Okay, there's a staircase over here. I think I can get upstairs."

"Just be careful." Sarah says. "Toss me your keys. I'll open the door." Jesse throws his keys to Sarah and hobbles in the direction of the staircase. Sarah goes to the basement door, fumbling with the set of keys to see which one fits. Finally, she finds the right key, opening the door to find Jesse leaning against the wall. "Jesus." She whispers, seeing the blood dripping down his leg.

"It's just a cut." Jesse assures. "I'll be fine."

"At least let me wrap it." Sarah insists.

"Alright." Jesse says. "Guess I don't wanna bleed out before we get home. Let's get back to that Employee room."

Jesse sits in the chair as Sarah pulls a roll of bandages out of her backpack. She wraps the bandages around the gash tightly, trying to be as gentle as possible. When she's finished, she leans and places a small kiss on the bandaged wound before standing and holding out her hand for Jesse to take. He takes it, letting her help him stand.

"Man, these stitches are gonna hurt like a bitch." Jesse groans, following Sarah out to the horses.

"Probably. Hey, you gonna be able to ride?" Sarah asks, flashing him a concerned look.

"Yeah, I..." Jesse wants to say yes but he knows he's losing a lot of blood and the bandages can only do so much. He's already a bit dizzy. "Maybe not."

Sarah thinks for a moment before coming up with an idea. "Okay, you're gonna ride with me. I'll tie Cobalt up inside and get our secret spot locked up. You stay here."

"Yes, ma'am." Jesse says, mocking her bossiness as he leans against the building. Sarah takes Cobalt inside. She's only gone for a few minutes, returning to Jesse who greets her with a smile.

"Here, let me help you up." Sarah guides Jesse onto Ponyo, making sure he isn't going to fall off before getting on in front of him. Jesse's arms wrap around her waist securely. She can't help but feel better with him close to her. She can't deny, it makes her feel safer. As they ride, Jesse leans forward, resting his forehead on Sarah's left shoulder. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Jesse mumbles. "Think I hit my head when I fell."

"We're almost home." Sarah says, silently hoping they'll make it back without any issues. "Just hang on a bit longer."

When the two make it back, it's around 4:00pm. Sarah dismounts Ponyo, handing the reins to a stable worker so she can help Jesse down.

"He's got a cut on his right leg and he might've hit his head. He fell pretty far. Cobalt is tied up in the bar." Sarah explains to a few people who agree to take Jesse to the infirmary. She stops them, putting a hand on Jesse's chest. "You want me to come with you?"

"I'll be fine." Jesse assures. "Go talk to Joel. I'll come find you after I get patched up." Hesitantly, Sarah nods, going home. When she gets there, Joel isn't back, yet. She sighs, setting her bag down and searching for one of Joel's usual notes that would explain where he went. She finds it on the kitchen counter by the coffee pot.

'Girls, Tommy and I are headed out

to clear out a group of infected.

Won't be back 'till later tonight.'

"Great." Sarah sighs. "There goes that plan." She decides to see what Ellie and Dina are up to. She heads out to the garage, knocking on the door. Ellie opens it, smiling when she sees Sarah.

"Hey! Come on in!" Ellie says, holding the door for Sarah. Sarah walks in, seeing Dina on the couch searching through DVDs.

"Hey, Sarah." Dina greets with a grin. "We're gonna watch a horror movie. You in?" Sarah completely forgot tonight's movie night.

"Definitely." Sarah says, unzipping her jacket and tossing it on Ellie's desk before sitting on the floor in front of Dina.

"Where's Jesse?" Ellie asks. She picks up a DVD and puts it into the player, starting the movie.

"He's at the infirmary. He fell on some glass but he's okay." Sarah explains. "I wanted to go with him."

"He's a big boy." Ellie says, sitting beside her girlfriend. "He can take care of himself."

"I know." Sarah shrugs, watching the beginning of the movie. "Is this Carrie?"

"Yep." Dina confirms, smiling.

"How? The DVD got destroyed when Tommy borrowed it."

"We found a DVD rental place on our last supply run." Ellie answers. We also found a movie called "Blue is the Warmest Colour."

"Oh, I think I saw that one with Evelyn." Sarah recalls.

"You mean back when you had a huge crush on her?" Ellie teases.

"Oh my God." Sarah rolls her eyes. "She was cute but she turned out to be such a bitch! All I did was reccomend the movie! I still can't believe she punched me in the face."

"Yeah, after she called you a faggot." Dina reminds her. "She was an asshole. I'm glad you came to your senses, though. Finally gave in to your crush of two years. Now, one of you just has to make the first move."

"What are you talking about?" Sarah asks, feigning confusion.

"Uh, you and Jesse. Duh!" Dina grins. "You two are so fucking in love-"

"Okay, no more talking during the movie." Sarah cuts her off, quickly.

"...You never denied it." Ellie says after a few minutes.

"Shut up." Sarah snorts, making the couple laugh.

Twenty minutes into the movie, there's a knock on the garage door. Ellie stands up, opening the door.

"Hey, Jesse." She says, inviting him in. Sarah smiles, glad to see him patched up. "Sarah told us you got hurt." Jesse chuckles, smiling down at Sarah.

"Ah, just a few stitches in my thigh." Jesse explains. "Be good as new in no time. Anyways, what are we watchin'?"

"Carrie." Sarah responds as Jesse tosses his jacket and backpack to the side and sits beside her on the floor. "Careful of your stitches." She warns.

"I'm fine." Jesse assures. "Doesn't even hurt that much." He stretches his legs out to make his point. Ellie flops back down on the couch, her head laying on Dina's shoulder as the four of them watch the movie. Sarah lays down on her side, resting her head in Jesse's lap. About halfway into Carrie, she manages to fall asleep, unknowingly clinging to Jesse's pant leg as she drifts off, completely forgetting about her plan to speak with Joel.

Jesse doesn't notice Sarah's fallen asleep until he looks down and finds her laying there, curled up, lips slightly parted, and fist holding onto his jeans with all of her sleepy strength. He chuckles quietly, brushing hair out of her face and smiling at her with adoration.

"What is it?" Dina asks, both her and Ellie growing curious as to why Jesse is laughing during a horror movie. Jesse turns back to look at them, a wide smile on his face.

"She's asleep." Jesse explains, nodding towards Sarah. The two girls lean over to see her, confirming what Jesse said.

"That's fucking adorable." Ellie chuckles. "She must be exhausted. All that extra work she's been picking up..." Ellie sighs, kind of glad to see Sarah finally resting and not working her ass off.

"I'm gonna take her to bed." Jesse says, standing and lifting Sarah up bridal style. Sarah hums i9n her sleep, shifting a bit before settling again. "Jesus, she needs to eat more." He points out, feeling how light she is.

"You okay carrying her with your leg?" Ellie asks. "She's not gonna be happy if you tear your stitches."

"I got it." Jesse nods. "I'll be back in a few minutes." He carefully opens the door, carrying Sarah out to the house. When he gets inside, Joel is in the living room. He looks over when he hears the back door open, offering Jesse a tired smile.

"Hey." Joel says, voice gruff. "Patrol go okay?"

"Yeah. No infected." Jesse says. "How about you? Heard you and Tommy were sent to clear out a group of infected."

"Whoever said it was a herd overreacted." Joel laughs a bit. "It was maybe four or five hiding out in an old motel. But, I guess it was worth it. Found some good supplies." He looks down at Sarah. "Alright. You should go put her in bed."

Jesse nods, walking up the stairs. He stops at the fourth step. "Hey, Joel?" Joel turns around, looking at Jesse. "It may not seem like it, but... I'm pretty sure she forgives you." At that, Joel lights up, turning and walking away with a smile. Jesse carries Sarah to her bedroom, laying her down on the bed gently and pulling the blankets up to her chin. He places a kiss to her forehead and lets out a small sigh before turning and heading back to the garage. As Sarah lays there in the dark, she begins to shift, mumbling incoherently. Her sleep will prove to be anything but peaceful.

St. Mary's Hospital. A place that would remind Joel, Ellie, and Sarah of the Fireflies and the lie Joel told Ellie to protect her. For Sarah, it's also a reminder of the time she was shot during the escape. What if she had been too weak to keep going? All she could rely on was her own strength and the hope that she'd be able to keep running. What if she hadn't?

She's back in the hospital, running beside Joel who's carrying an unconscious Ellie. The adrenaline, the rapid heartbeat, the fear, all of it returns. The same feeling of dread mixed with determination floods through Sarah. The three round a corner and that's when Sarah's shot, the familiar sensation of the bullet piercing through her skin and spilling her blood. But, this time, the pain is too much and she falls to the ground with a cry. No... She fights to get up; to keep going. But the fight is useless. She can't move.

"Joel!!" Sarah screams, reaching out for him. He's only a few feet ahead of her. He stops dead in his tracks, turning around slowly. She calls for him again and he only smiles. He stares at her, watching her bleed out and scream for him, laying there, helplessly waiting for something to happen. Sarah feels sick to her stomach at the way he grins. Joel turns away from her again, walking off with Ellie.

"Joel!! Dad, please!!" Sarah sobs, trying to stand only to fall back again. "Dad!! Help!!" Her cries are ineffective, her father walking out of sight... leaving her behind... "Dad!!"

In Joel's bedroom, he's sitting in bed reading a crappy novel he found in the motel earlier that day. He hears Sarah's desperate screaming and wastes no time throwing the book to the side and rushing out of the room. He practically trips over his own feet running into Sarah's bedroom to find her laying stiff in her bed, sobbing and screaming for her father... for Joel. He sits next to her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her lightly.

"Sarah...Sarah!" Joel calls her name, trying to pull her out of her dream. "Sarah, wake up!" She jolts awake, sitting up so quickly she almost smacks her forehead against Joel's. She sobs, rapidly searching the room, trying to remember where she is. "It's okay. It was only a dream." Joel says, rubbing her arms. Sarah looks at Joel and sobs louder.

At first, Joel thinks she's mad at him for being there but she scrambles into his arms, clinging to the back of his shirt. "Dad..." Sarah cries. "Please don't leave me..."

"Shh, I've got you, baby girl." Joel coos, holding Sarah tight against him as her tears create a damp spot on his shirt. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you." He's extremely happy to finally hear Sarah call him dad but hides his excitement so he can focus on comforting her. His daughter needs him. "You're okay." Joel rocks her side to side, patiently waiting for her to calm down. "You're okay." When Sarah's nearly asleep, he lays her back down, moving to cover her up.

"Dad?" She mumbles, eyes half open.

"Yeah?" Joel responds, feeling another spark of joy at the title. Sarah reaches for his forearm, tugging at it.

"Stay with me?" Sarah asks, almost pleading.

Joel finally lets himself smile, overjoyed with Sarah's forgiveness. "Okay."

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #sarah miller #tlou sarah #joel tlou #joel miller #ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou dina #tlou jesse #fanfiction #personal

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

Text

Ryan and Nate Share a Bonding Moment: Anon Asks, Answered

Anon asked: May I please request more Ryan reluctantly taking care of a sick Nate? maybe even finding some pity in his heart..?

Timeline: A few days after BTHB’s Worked To Exhaustion Prompt

Tagging @special-spicy-chicken, @spiffythespook, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, and @whumpywhumper

The first thing Ryan thinks when Vandrum comes staggering out of the bedroom is Jesus God, you look fucking rough.

With a couple of days of real sleep under his belt - Danny had recovered enough to insist Ryan get some rest, too, before he also got sick, and Ryan had been selfishly happy to hand the reins back to his older brother and sleep like a fucking log for twelve-hour stretches - he finally felt human enough to get back to normal.

Which meant he was enjoying, without guilt, a nice hot toddy. Hot Irish breakfast black tea, lemon juice, his dad’s favorite brand of imported whiskey, and honey. Ryan sipped it with a small smile on his face. He was on his second mug of the stuff and feeling warm and relaxed in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He wasn’t exactly trying to drink so much but on the other hand, you had to fight the flu - or whatever the fuck was wrong with them - germs, right? He was pretty sure whiskey was a disinfectant.

Plus, lemons helped you hold off scurvy, so, you know, he had that going for him, too.

Ryan had been alone out here the whole day. Danny was better, up and trying to do chores until Ryan all but begged him to stop, but he still slept most of the time and moved with an old-man shuffle that was hard to watch. Vandrum hadn’t appeared in more than a week except to go to the bathroom, take the occasional shower, or rummage through the fridge in the wee hours of the morning when Ryan was asleep for more Gatorade and Pedialyte.

Ryan just kept buying it because, fuck it, they weren’t keeping anything else down. Well, that and those little cracker sandwiches with peanut butter in them.

So when Nate Vandrum came out of the bedroom at 8:30 at night, while Ryan was sipping his hot toddy and checking on company emails that had come through (no such thing a true medical leave for a real executive, his father had warned him, and he’d thought he was kidding about that but there wasn’t any way to undermine Danny’s needs they wouldn’t find), Ryan was genuinely shocked to see him.

You look like someone ran you over with a truck.

Vandrum doesn’t even look up at him. He’s limping a little, favoring one leg, and Ryan thinks about how his testimony included that Denner motherfucker fucking up his leg. And of course the bad hand is always slightly open, where his other one is closed tight in a fist even as he walks into the kitchen, pulling out a new bottle of Gatorade and staring at its artificial neon-blue like he’s looking at the holy grail, or maybe a portal to hell.

“Do you need help, Vandrum?”

Nate flinches, hard, and jerks his eyes up to look at Ryan, white-ringed and frightened. “Wh-what?”

He was pretty fucking terrified of you putting your hands on his neck, this is what happens when you hurt people, Ryan.

Ryan hesitates, then leans forward to set his hot toddy down on the coffee table. This man has lived in his apartment - in Danny’s apartment, Ryan had just been saving it for him the only way he knew how - for months. Ryan has called him a coward and a rapist, accused him of wanting Danny to himself so much he’d kill - not to save him but to keep him - and through it all Vandrum has stared at him with a placid green stare that tells him nothing.

Except for when he put his hands around Vandrum’s neck and the broken bits of Nate Vandrum had taken over, and Ryan had seen the fire in Danny he’d thought Denner put out for good, rallied not for himself but to defend Nate Vandrum against his own goddamn brother.

Ryan hates to admit it, but he hasn’t really been fair to his brother’s maybe-sort-of-boyfriend. Maybe he should try.

“Let me help you, Vandrum,” Ryan says a little heavily, pushing himself to his feet. “You still feeling gross?”

Nate looks at him like he’s grown three heads, and his bad hand is splayed out on the countertop. Ryan moves towards him, slowly - Nate and Danny are both jumpy as hell when they’re sick, and Ryan tries not to think about how it’s a result of being sick being a cause for punishment up in that fucking horror-cabin. Danny talked about being thrown down in the cellar whenever he was sick for too many days in a row, like that psychopath thought locking him a damp basement was somehow going to make him get better faster.

Nate never talked about his punishments for being sick, only that there were some, and he didn’t want to think about it.

Nate watches him, his green eyes listless and fogged over but still scared, his face looking oddly younger with the expression. Like Danny looks, Ryan thinks - tense and worried, nervous that he’ll fuck it up, that he’ll be hurt. When Ryan makes it to the kitchen, Nate shrinks away from him a little, shifting back.

“Still feverish?” Ryan asks, and his voice gentles, a little.

“I th-think so,” Nate says, his own deep voice a little breathy, the words slightly slurred. “The r-r-room moves, when I’m n-not looking.”

Ryan holds up a hand and Nate doesn’t flinch, but his eyes lock onto the hand and follow its movements with perfect concentration. “I’m just going to feel for a fever,” Ryan says trying to pitch his voice soothing, the way he talks to Danny when he does shit like this. “Can I do that?”

Ryan’s blood runs cold when Nate says softly, “Wh-whatever you w-w-want. I can d-do whatever y-y-you want.”

“Jesus,” He whispers, and feels Nate’s forehead. “He taught you that, too?”

Nate closes his eyes against the touch. His skin burns Ryan’s hand, like there’s a flame taking Nate over from the inside out, leaving charcoal behind where his organs and bones and soul should be. “The rules are th-th-the s-same,” Nate whispers, and he doesn’t pull away from Ryan’s touch, only closes his eyes and holds still. “J-Just hurt less.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Ryan thinks of the barking laughter in the courtroom, of Abraham’s absolute fucking glee recounting all the shit he’d done to Danny, the way Nate had kept his eyes on the table in front of him whenever Abraham was talking, had worked so hard to never look at him.

He sighs. “You’re a fucking mess, Vandrum.”

Nate laughs - it’s more of a raspy, hoarse chuckle than anything else. “I kn-know,” He answers, and his knees buckle a little but he catches himself on the counter, pushing himself back up. “I know I am. D-D-Don’t you th-think I did okay, though, M-Michaelson?”

Ryan steps away from him, pulling the bottle of whiskey back from the cabinet, setting water on to boil. Nate watches him with glazed eyes, without questioning anything he’s doing, and Ryan wonders what he’s even seeing at this point. “Okay? Are you really asking me that question?”

“I did the b-b-best I c-could,” Nate says, and then it’s quiet for a while. Just the scrape of a ceramic mug on the counter as Ryan pulls one out, the paper rustling of a teabag being picked up out of the specially-carved wooden box his dad had given Danny a long time ago to keep the good teas in.

Ryan pulls out an Irish breakfast for Nate, too, humming to himself a little as he works. Adds a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, a tablespoon of honey, two shots of whiskey. When the water boils, he pours the hot water over the mixture and stirs, mixing it all together. “There. Give that a few minutes to steep, and you sure as fuck won’t get scurvy, at least.”

“I’ve al-always worried about sc-sc-scurvy,” Nate says, and his total deadpan voice makes Ryan glance over at him to see if he was really serious, only to find a faint smile on the older man’s face.

Ryan shakes his head, curls falling over his forehead and his eyes, but he feels something inside himself not entirely unlike affection for how goddamn weird Danny’s boyfriend is. “Go sit on the couch, Nate, I’ll bring your tea to you, yeah?”

Nate hesitates, and then nods, moving into the living room with slow steps, still favoring one leg. He settles onto the couch and Ryan follows him, setting Nate’s mug down in front of him on the coffee table before dropping into the armchair and picking his own back up.

There’s a silence while the two men sip, and Ryan finally asks, “What do you mean, about did you do okay?”

“I d-d-don’t know.” Nate sighs. “I d-d-did my best…”

“You said that already.”

“It’s all I h-h-have, M-Michaelson,” Nate says wearily, and closes his eyes at the mix of flavors - sweet honey and the twist of the lemon juice, the welcome burn of whiskey, the strong black tea. “That I t-t-tried. And it w-wasn’t enough, b-b-but… but it was all I c-could do. Keep him ah, alive until I c-could break it, and… and h-h-hope enough was left.”

“He’s getting better every day,” Ryan says, and he’s not sure if he’s reassuring Nate or himself.

“N-Not him. I mean, y-y-yes, I had to hope enough was l-l-left of him, but…” Nate licks his lips and gnaws on some chapped skin, a weird nervous habit Danny has picked up too. “I don’t kn-know. But what I m-meant is…”

Nate trails off, and there’s more silence, uneasy and uncomfortable.

“What?” Ryan grips his warm tea mug, watching Nate sip from his steaming one.

“I g-guess I just meant… I had to h-hope enough of me was, was l-left, too. And I... I w-w-wasn’t s-sure, not until... not until he c-came back.”

“Well, you tried to burn Denner to death,” Ryan says, and earns himself a slight smile in return from the older man. “So that’s evidence that you were still in there, right?”

“I d-d-don’t know. It could also b-be… being like h-him. I’m so sc-scared, I just…”

“Of what?”

“That I am. Like th-them, already. That I c-c-c… c… that it won’t st-stop. That I’ll h-h-hurt him, and… and en, enjoy it.”

Ryan considers, sitting back in his armchair. He’s accused him of almost exactly that, but in this moment, Nate Vandrum looks tired and sick and sad and scared. He doesn’t look like a monster, he won’t bark like a hyena, he won’t laugh when Danny screams.

“I don’t think so, Nate.”

“Y-you don’t? But before, you’ve…”

“Fuck what I said before, I’m a fucking asshole, Vandrum, you and I both know that. Especially with… with everything with Danny. I’m a spoiled rotten poor little rich boy and I’ve always been that, and what happened to Danny maybe made me grow up a little bit more, but… but fuck all of that mess, you’re not like him at all.”

“How… how d-d-do you know?”

Ryan’s eyes glint in the dim light from the streetlight outside the apartment, seem momentarily to glow, but this time Nate was looking down in his mug and didn’t see a thing.

I can look at your face and know you - I’ve always been that way. I’m good at reading people.

“If I’m honest... I always knew you weren’t. I’ve just been a shit to you because I can’t be a shit to him. And besides…” At the bottom of Ryan’s mug it’s all honey and lemon, hardly any whiskey or tea taste at all. “If you were like them, you wouldn’t be worried about it, would you?”

Nate looks up at him, surprised, and then back down at his own drink. “I… I g-g-guess.”

“So there you go. Now how can I convince you to go back to bed to fucking snuggle my disease-riddled brother so I can have my living room back to myself?”

#ryan michaelson is a good brother #ryan and nate #sickfic #hurt/comfort #but basically just comfort #sick fic #sick whump #recovery whump #trauma recovery whump #anons wants bonding #I give bonding #Daniel Michaelson's story

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chyrstis · 4 years

Note

Hana/Sharky or Hana/John for the Ultimate Ship Meme?

@raisinghellinotherworlds

I’ve got Hana/Sharky here, so let’s give Hana and John some attention, especially since this next fic I’m working out should give them a lot more to work with. :D

Hana Vao / John Seed

General:

Rate the Ship -

How long will they last? - There’s a hell of a lot that the two need to work through and work out, but once they do, they’re in it for the long-term.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It’s not love at first sight by any means of the word. John eyes her during the initial arrest, but is dismissive. Hana’s only set on looking at Joseph once his attention starts boring into her, and hardly registers that the other siblings are in the room. After that, and once Hana really starts laying into John’s operation, he’s infuriated and intrigued, and Hana’s all too glad for the opportunity to piss him off. But John does fall first, and it’s not too long after she tries to capture him that feelings start entering the mix. Hana’s much further off, but by the time John does start finding ways to ‘help’ her and they seem genuine, any feelings towards him start warming faster than anticipated. There’s a bit of a rift that forms before the two go underground, but over the next few years they’re able to repair it, and start a relationship on much more even footing.

How was their first kiss? - Their first is incredibly ill-advised. It’s during an attempt to capture him, and Hana’s injured and desperate and in the middle of grappling with John when a thought pops into her head. ‘Sharky said he’s into me. Maybe I can use it to weasel out of this? No big deal.’ So, she kisses him. Kisses him and goes, ‘Oh, shit, he’s actually pretty into this’, and then punches him in the dick right after. Their first real kiss is a different kind of desperate later on down the line, and luckily for John, doesn’t require any dick-punching. He does make sure she actually wants this before continuing, however, and once she does confirm that, proceeds to pour every feeling he’s tried burying into it.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Hana! It’s honestly something that they never sat down to discuss officially, but she has no doubt in her mind that she wants to ask John once the idea’s been planted and she has a ring to do so.

Who is the best man/men? - There’s no ceremony for them, and considering John’s previous role (and the amends he’s trying to make), he would find it difficult to fill this position. Sharky would 100% try to volunteer, though and at that point would just be dragged into participating in the actual wedding himself, so....

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Hana would also find her hands a bit tied, and understandably so.

Who did the most planning? - Hana, though by planning it’s more ‘get John alone so she can talk to him’ and luckily for her manages to catch him working in his room. Then when she’s about to get the ring out, fumbles it, and has to dig it out from under his desk while he’s sitting by it. She doesn’t hesitate to propose once she gets her hands on the ring after that, and John’s honestly left speechless for a good minute once he realizes just what she’s doing.

Who stressed the most? - John. Up until that moment he’d drawn a few conclusions he shouldn’t have, and Hana’s glad to prove him wrong.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. -

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - N/A - Technically no one was invited since there was no official ceremony, but I think it’s safe to say that Joseph’s invite would've been lost in the mail. Or set on fire by Sharky.

Sex:

Who is on top? - They do tend to switch, but there’s been plenty of times where Hana’s put John right on his back, and he’s hardly tried to stop her.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They’re both pretty awful teases. It’s entirely a game of how much extended eye contact they can hold across a room and during conversation before the other cracks or gets the hint. John also enjoys trying to see how much innocent innuendo he can come up with, while Hana goes for small touch after small touch, seeing how close she can get to him before trying to leave the room. If it’s in an isolated area, she usually doesn’t have the chance, but if not, John’s usually not far behind.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now - It would be a ten here, but their moments together are a bit more spaced out at the start of their relationship. Once they’re officially living together, though...

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - At least a couple of rounds depending on how much time they’re able to have together. Ideally there would be no rush at all, but they don’t always have that luxury.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - It’s certainly something they try for, but John would enjoy casually losing count whenever she'd try to tally them up. And would likely be in the process of trying to get an extra one out of her just on principle. The jerk.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - They really have two speeds here. Some night’s John’s softer, caught up in the fact that she’s actually there with him and wants to be, and he can’t help but want to look at her, touch her gently, and take his time. Others, it’s only a matter of waiting for a second of privacy before they’re trying to tear the other’s clothes off.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. - John gives her a little space from time to time, but it’s hard for the two not to touch each other in bed, and he won’t hesitate to wrap himself around her. It’s reassuring to have her that close, and more often than not, he’ll actually start drifting off due to the level of contentment setting in. But most affectionate gestures remain behind closed doors for them, so there’s no heavy doses of PDA going on, no matter how badly they’d want to express it otherwise.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One, which John was nervous about to start, but relaxed as time went on. I’m thinking William (Will? Billy?) for his name, mostly because John didn’t like Theodore (if she can’t honor Ted, she’d honor Bill), both Bruce and Wayne were also shot down, and J-names were right out. (and Hana might’ve shed a tear that night over how many of her action heroes were actually named John)

How many children will they adopt? - N/A

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - At first it’s Hana due to John’s nerves in handling the baby for any period of time, but he’s able to adjust and let go of that fear once they talk their way through it.

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re even at first, but as John gets more comfortable with the idea of parenthood (and makes more peace with the fear that he’ll be just like his parents), he’s able to be more of a disciplinarian. But it really takes very little for him to crumple like a wet paper bag.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - John. He doesn’t have to try too hard with Will, but has a cautious word to share just in case Will thinks of ever being half as much of a daredevil as his mother.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - John’s got a system down, but Hana’s there to sneak in added things to boost their kiddo’s day, like extra fruit, or a cookie.

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both evenly loved, but Hana’s laid-back nature definitely leads to more partner in crime bonding opportunities (and good-natured pranks on John).

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? N/A – In a No-Cult situation John would be able to finesse his way through these in a way Hana never could. And she’s all too glad to skip them entirely.

Who cried the most at graduation? - N/A, but Hana would be swiping at her eyes, and trying to badly hide the fact that she’s sniffling.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - John. John 100%.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - John will try to get her out of the kitchen to bear the brunt of the cooking, but never fully succeeds.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - John, if only because he’ll actively try to stick to a balanced diet.

Who does the grocery shopping? - John would probably take the reins here if only to get specifics, but Hana would definitely want to tag along and sneak a few extra things into the cart.

How often do they bake desserts? - It’s not a common thing at all, but the minute Hana mentions missing desserts and cakes, John might make it one of his priorities. Even though he’s terrible at it.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - If Hana had her way it’d be mostly meat, but John gently twists her arm into getting a bit more variety into her diet.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - John, and it’s a struggle at first learning to do without a lot of the items he kept in his kitchen, but he slowly learns, and goes as far as thinking of mood lighting, music, and the like. It’s a brand of romance that Hana would call ridiculous at first glance, but secretly swoons a bit over.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hana would for ease, really. John can stress a little too much about making sure every last part of the meal’s perfect, and no matter how many times she’ll tell him it’s fine, he still tries to go that extra mile.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - It’s actually about 50/50 for these two.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - John, mostly because he seems like the type to stress clean and reorder things as a means of centering himself, and poor Hana has no hope of ever being that neat.

Who is really against chores? - Neither’s against chores, but Hana does draw a line with the extent she’ll deep clean things.

Who cleans up after the pets? - These two don’t have pets at first, but the cats that Hana ends up attracting lead to more than a few guests sticking around, and she tends to keep up with them.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - This is a rare case of neither, unless Hana’s exhausted and wanting to put it off until tomorrow and John’s back is turned.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - John. Things must be in order and staged well, even if the guest in question is a human tornado.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hana. She’d probably pretend to do a magic trick with it afterwards, being incredibly obvious about where she’s trying to pull the money from (his pocket, behind his ear), but John would play along, using just enough fake awe to get her to crack and start giggling.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - John. With the shower he used to have, it was the ideal environment to relax and think in.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - These two don’t have a dog, but there have been times when Hana’s been out (or John), and a few of the cats will just start following them. That totally counts, right?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Hana loves decorating, but John turns it into an event, and he’s so over the top elaborate with it she can’t help but laugh and love it all at once.

What are their goals for the relationship? - To build and keep trust and respect between them. To try harder, and be better.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither normally, but John’s odd sleep schedule might leave him sleeping until noon if he was up until 3-4 AM getting work done the night before.

Who plays the most pranks? - It’s actually closer to even than Hana expected it would ever be, but she wins this one.

#raisinghellinotherworlds #I feel like on average each one of these takes at least 1-2 days to complete #it just can't be helped #but I do love these two (and had to resist listing some OT3 stuff as well)#thank you so much for asking by the way!#deputy hana #john seed #otp: you're the ghost in my heart

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vaultofqueenorion · 3 years

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It is time to introduce you all to my favorite series of all time by my favorite author of all time, that is the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas.

This also means that the whole review will basically be one giant hype-train, even if I will keep spoilers to a minimum.

So let’s take a deep dive into the story of Adarlan’s greatest assassin, Celaena Sardothien, the most sassy character that I have ever met, and one of the badass women in the series.

The Title

The title is dramatic, it’s got flair, and it also portrays something entirely terrible that had me actually getting chills when I started reading about the villain of the story.

The castle is made completely of glass. That doesn’t seem particularly practical you say? Well you would be right, and Celaena would agree with you. It’s extravagant, just like the nobles of Adarlan who give no thought to the people that the King of Adarlan has oppressed for a while now.

It’s also kind of the perfect metaphor for Celaena - extravagant and beautiful, but hiding a fragility, a fear that could bring it all crashing down.

The Characters

See Celaena might be the Adarlan’s (and maybe even the world’s!) greatest assassin with blood on her teeth and a sharp tongue, but there are hints to her fear, to her utter self depreciation and escapism throughout the whole book.

She is, simply, a hero who doesn’t want to be one.

It’s quite aptly summed up in the picture above. She doesn’t believe that she’s fated for anything - not after having been through what she’s been through.

But she puts on a mask and smiles through it all, ridiculing those around her and lavishing in the finer things in life.

This was one of the things that made me connect so much with her (not the lashing out part, the hiding your true self part - the fear). Her past has left her so broken, so afraid of failure and of the world around her that she simply stopped trying to save it all.

And yet.

Because as the above shows, she still does save people. She saves a puppy from being killed for being the ‘runt of the litter’, and she saves a man from falling to his death. She keeps saving those around her, keeps trying even after she says that she’s done.

Even though she has troubles surviving on her own as it is.

That’s also what’s so interesting about Celaena - she manages to be vibrant while hopeless, kind while self-preserving. She’s a full-blooded killer, but she doesn’t kill those who don’t deserve it. There are so many opposites within her, and they all serve to make her an incredibly fun character to follow.

She’s also very flawed, and she’s got a horribly fiery temper that leaves her with thoughts such as the ones below.

See? That’s not the voice of a kind and soft spoken woman. That’s the voice of a fighter that has walked through hell and yet still manages to come out the other side.

A Nehemia so aptly puts it:

Her spirit remains as it once was - she is scarred and she is hurt, but she kept her defiance going. She kept getting up after being knocked down.

I think that is one of the things that had me relating to her the most. All of those feelings, all of the despair and fear and pain and yet she still manages to get onto her feet one more time after she gets knocked down.

Celaena is a hero who had me getting back on my own two feet long after I finished her story.

Nehemia is the second character that I want to talk about. The princess of Eyllwe, the land that the Kind of Adarlan has practically enslaved for their rebellion against his power, Nehemia Ytger is stuck in an enemy capital, walking around the torturer of her people at all times. And yet she still manages to keep her chin up, her spine erect.

She’s a powerful woman, the light of her people, and the dearest friend of Celaena. She’s fierce and Celaena has the idea that she’s fighting to free her people, even as she walks among her enemies, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

She’s also the one to bail Celaena out at many points, their friendship deepening with each horrifying secret that they uncover. She’s clever enough to keep her things relatively hidden, but there’s also a hint of sadness to her whenever she talks about her people. As if she knows that she cannot ever do enough.

Chaol is the captain of the Royal Guard. He’s cold, he’s calculating and he’s suspicious of Celaena and her intentions. That is, until you get to know him. He can seem stand-offish - imagine an old grumpy man with a golden heart. The thing is that this old man’s heart (he’s young in the book btw, so don’t take the metaphor too seriously) has been encased in ice and it takes him a while to thaw.

He does, however, appreciate hard work, and I have the sneaking suspicion that he’s proud of Celaena after a while as she goes from hollowed out husk to powerhouse again.

The above is not a particularly nice part of the book, but it does signify their relationship at first. Chaol sort of tolerates her, he doesn’t really praise her, but he comes to care for her. A lot.

And it was really really nice to have a hero that had to be retrained again, because that is the most realistic thing that I’ve seen in regards to a hero who has come back from a long time of inactivity.

Dorian Havilliard, the Crown Prince of Adarlan, is a softie. At least he seems like that - naive, doesn’t go against his fathers wishes, womanizer. The standard douchey no-good straight guy who has it all.

It’s shown in the dumb question below (which makes Celaena have the most amazing response later on the page, but go read the book to see that one!).

Because Endovier is the Death camp. It’s been made to kill and to be unescapable. And yet he asks her the unthinkable. Celaena, with her sass and smart assery, gives the perfect response and her escape plan was almost perfect.

Dorian learns, slowly, to stand up to his father. He learns what it means to care for someone other than himself and his best friend Chaol, and he actually seems to maybe not despise it, but at least rein back on the courtly stuff. But boy oh boy there’s a lot of character development here, and the potential is amazing.

The King of Adarlan was terrifying. He’s a peripheral character, most of the time, but he’s very much prevalent in all of their minds. Sort of a dark presence that never moves, never blinks, he seems to watch their every movement.

He’s cruel, he’s dark and we have no clue how much he knows. That lack of knowledge is terrifying and it was nice to have a hero that actually feared their adversary rather than felt like they could defeat them, because Celaena, Dorian, everyone feels powerless against him.

The quote below from Celaena is one that I am especially fond of.

Cain is ... wow. Don’t even get me started. He’s a brute and he’s just plain cruel for fun. I didn’t like him because he was a bully, but he was never that prominent for me. He was a villain like any other.

Elena, who is another pretty good but also a bit meh character for me, warns Celaena of this regarding Cain and whatever is going on.

Elena is not a character that I will go into. She’s sort of the friendly ghost that hangs back and swoops in once in a while, and she seems to want to help Celaena, but you have to take a look at her for yourselves.

The Plot

Ever wanted to read a murder mystery slash assassing tournament slash love and friendship story that takes place in a fantasy world that once held magic but is now dried out? Then this is the one for you.

That is a huge simplification, of course, because reality is so much better. I was in suspense until the end - not about who was the evil one, but rather what is going on. There’s a whole level of suspense going on in figuring out what in the world is happening alongside Celaena, who needs to discover everything for herself.

And gosh. The whole retraining programme in which Celaena finally gets to eat like the noble she feels like, and the way she has her sassy spars with Chaol.

Just everything.

Also the ball seen at the Yule ball is so worth it and her dress description gives me life.

Then we move on to the tournament. I was in love with the challenges and whenever one presented itself, my eyes were glued to the pages. The way Celaena can easily outmaneuver most of them, but she needs to keep it a secret is priceless.

Also the poison challenge in which the participants need to rank the poisons from the most deadly to the most harmless and then drink whatever they placed as ‘without poisons’ is amazing. Partly because Celaena actually doesn’t identify all of them, and partly because there is just so much confusion among everyone but one (who’s basically a poisoner) and when they drink it. Man did I enjoy watching all the characters that Celaena hated writhe on the ground before they could get the antidote.

Next comes the murders. They are gruesome and terribly well written, and the worst part is that no one can figure out what is doing it. Organs are removed, brains carved out and they are surrounded by strange marks.

Of course Celaena finds out, which results in one of the most intense scenes in the book, which I very much loved.

The last part of the plot is the actual tournament. It is tense, and it is glorious. A hero who struggles so much at the end will always be appealing to me, and then the scene where she thinks I will not be afraid (below) is one of the most character defining moments for me.

Because that is who she is. She denies her fear room, she fights on through it, and she says that she is Celaena Sardothien, and she will not be afraid.

It gave me courage, too.

The Language

Gorgeous, stunning, fierce. Can I end the segment there? That’s not enough to convince you? Alright, then let’s take a deep dive.

This is my absolute favorite quote, so much so that I got a version of it tattooed, so the below is really the star of the book.

It’s got fate in it and it’s got power and it is so beautifully written that I am in awe. The fear part got me - that she is so powerful that she would be able to change the course of the world, but she is too afraid to do it, because of her past, because of the world around her.

Geez that hits right in the feels.

The stars and darkness and unknown is a huge part of this book and there are so many beautiful quotes that it is hard to narrow it down. The thing is that while the characters carry the book, the language is paced perfectly with snippets of these gems hidden between the pages and it just makes you want to keep coming back, again and again and again.

I found myself trying to emulate her writing style after I had read it (I quickly dropped that again because I kept slipping back into my own style which is honestly the best), and it stuck with me long after I put down the book.

In conclusion

Do you get the feeling that I could talk for days and days and days about this book? You are very much right. It is my all time favorite, and I devoured it whole in one sitting when I first got it. I simply couldn’t tear my eyes away from the pages and the wonderful world that Sarah J. Maas has built within.

So do yourself a favor and check it out. I’ll be giving it five paws, in any case.

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jq37 · 5 years

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hey hey hey!! have u seen the new bloodkeep episode, and if so..... thoughts?

**spoilers for avanash and double pants the caged elf and the crown**

(I have another ask that I’m going to use to talk about the airship ambush ep)

Rekha on Fantasy Spelling: “J, apostrophe, O, H, Umlaut, N.”/ “An umlaut over the H???”

I love that this episode starts with them arguing politics with an eagle. Brennan takes every opportunity to start talking philosophy.

“Please don’t call it seed.”

I love than no one calls Leiland by his goth name at all. I don’t even remember what it is right now. He’s just Leiland, the giant mess of a Walmart ringwraith.

So the Vingury show up and everyone makes a point to be as unnatural and creepy as possible for the drama of it all instead of acting natural.

Leiland doing a full of Mice and Men on poor Deckland. That’s just what I was thinking before Matt made the reference.

I think Barbarian is such a fun class for a new player. Not a ton of of complications. Just messing people up.

I wonder what would have happened if they had tried to persuade one of the Vingury into making a sacrifice instead of ambushing Deckland.

OK, what did Deckland do to Leiland? Or vice versa?

Efink Skype calls Maggie’s dad who beats the tar out of Zaul’nazh when he finds out he knocked her up without putting a ring on it. “SHOW ME YOUR HANDS.”

Anyway, lbr. This episode is only important for two reasons: Avanash and Double Pants.

Based on the character image, I thought Avanash was going to be a straight Gollum expy but y’all. Y’all.

Sidenote, since the players know this is a LOTR game, I wonder how much meta-gaming they have to stop themselves from doing. Like, “OK, this is this character so I know they can be corrupted.”

“This dude is full crazy.”

“Oh hey.”

“Don’t make this gesture at him.”

“I guess the only query I would raise here is how are you going to keep my bones.”

The comedic brilliance of Avanash truly is the completely even and normal sentences that melt into complete nonsense.

“Are you them? What?”

This is just going to turn into me quoting everything Avanash said if I don’t rein it in now.

“What does this lady think she is? A river? HELP.”

Lilith going off on being sensitive about mental health terminology, even though she’s a full evil general of the magic empire trying to genocide like 3 races.

“WHAT IS CRAZY ABOUT WANTING YOUR BONES?” I want that on a shirt so bad.

Everyone just breaks down. No one can handle Avanash. Not even DnD vet Matt who has sat through some insanity. In terms of just pure humor, Avanash is Bren’s best NPC ever.

Markus’s question about the first five things he would do was a really smart move I think. Like, within this craziness, a very smart PC move.

Not even Brennan can keep a straight face. “I’m gonna be very clear.” He has to stop to crack up.

Maggie’s go to move is to just promise people shopping trips.

Good on Brennan for being such a cool DM. Bargaining for spell slots. Giving Jessa advantage on the pants roll to reward the, “She was a design major” improv. I would love to play at his table.

And then Leiland going off about child sweatshops. Sohkbar, “That’s where you draw the line?”

Lilith started making the “Where do eagles wear their pants” point and at first I was like, “Girl what?” but then, as she went on, I was like, “Hmm, she might be on to something.” Anyway

DOUBLE PANTS, DOUBLE PANTS, DOUBLE PANTS

Jessa coming in CLUTCH. A 19 and a NAT 20. Top of her class! What a wild roll on such a plot irrelevant thing. I love DnD so much.

For such a mercenary guy, Markus is kind of nice. Trying to give Leiland a morale boost last ep. Paying Jessa in this ep and offering to give her a commission for his crew, even though she would have done it for free to help her mom most likely.

The rest of the party is overseeing this very important plot point and Maggie is like, “Shopping episode!”

I was trying to figure out Efink’s name the other day and I didn’t so to find out in this ep that it’s KNIFE BACKWARDS and I didn’t notice murdered me instantly.

Also, I spent 2 hours trying to reverse that, “What do you have there?/A knife!/No!” gif for a post after this ep but tumblr wouldn’t let me post it. But I want you to know that I tried.

Efink and Lilith’s friendship is so funny to me.

“Stop saying mean things about my friend!”

Also, I forgot to mention before, Stalker getting covered in spiders and being like, “AHHHH. Eh, not so bad.”

“I don’t use this word lightly. This guy is a Goober.”

Brennan’s happy DM face right to the camera set me on edge until the reveal. You never wanna see your DM make that face.

Markus and Leiland have a heart to heart. Leiland lightly flirts with Markus. I am here for it.

HAMHEAD HAS THE CROWN.

THIS IS WHY YOUR GUARD THE PRISONER YOU GUYS. THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU.

Pushing Avanash in the lava was in character but I would have kept him around. There are still 3 non-Leiland Vingury. They could hypothetically made another crown.

Good on Erika for enlisting Stalker’s tracking skills. These PC’s really make use of the story elements to help them out.

All of the snapping and hand punching and stuff Brennan does is hypnotizing to me.

Cut back to Maggie who is still shopping. Wild.

Oh, wait. There’s one more important thing in this episode. Maggie using Power Word: Kill on the torture dude. Like, not the actual spell, but that’s basically what happened.

“Cool. Maybe next time that will be the first thing out of your mouth instead of your fucking tight five.”

Truly brutal.

I didn’t know dire bats were a thing before now but I love them.

Olag is back because of course he is.

“THE KICKED DOWN AND MADE THE DOOR HAPPEN.”

“mISTRESS? You asshole!”

“How do you become the villains of the villains?”

Efink being, “Y’all, I can be queen of the good guys and get us all hall passes. We’re good.” She’s selfish but she’s also gonna get everyone out w/ her so there are layers here.

“GHOSTS ARE OUR THING. THEY’RE SPECIFICALLY MOST OF WHAT WE DO. THAT’S BULLSHIT!”

“You’re a large bird.”/ “You’re a large asshole.”

Efink kills Stalker which is another short sighted move I think but also very in character.

Anyway, they escape on Markus’ ship but are ambushed by his brother’s ship which is the lead in to next ep’s airship battle, which I’ll cover next!

Anyway, very curious about where this story is going to end seeing as we want the PC’s to succeed but a success for them means, like, straight genocide.

#asks #anon #bloodkeep #dimension 20 #escape from the bloodkeep #anonymous

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alixofagnia · 6 years

Text

Space Jane Eyre in 10 Quotes (Or Why Charlotte Brontë Would Have Been a Reylo)

Basic Character Similarities

Rey/Jane Eyre

The most obvious similarity between the two is their origins. Rey and Jane are orphans and they both had hard, cruel childhoods because of it. Jane, poor and lonely, is raised by her cold relations, the Reeds, and later sent to suffer the harsh and starving conditions of the Lowood school, run by the autocratic hand of Mr. Brocklehurst. Rey, also poor and lonely, was abandoned by her parents, who are apparently dead. She grew up in the harsh conditions of Jakku, where hunger was a constant companion. Unkar Plutt is the Star Wars counterpart of both the Reeds and Brocklehurst.

Interestingly, neither heroine is embittered or cowed by these grim beginnings. Of necessity, they have a keen sense of self-reliance and self-loyalty, and cling to their own sense of merit. Rey and Jane come from nothing, but they make the better choices.

Ben Solo/Rochester

The most obvious similarity between the two is their turbulent family history and the direction they went because of that. Ben Solo is the sole inheritor of a galactic legacy with a family who expected great things of him. But, one by one, they lost faith in him and the betrayal fueled his descent to the Dark Side. Rochester comes from a wealthy family, but he is a younger son and his father, who refused to split his estate between two sons, arranged to have Rochester marry a rich woman. Both the father and older brother, Rowland, in their desire for wealth, withheld from Rochester the fact that hereditary mental illness ran in her family. The anger over the betrayal and subsequent burden of an insane, violent wife fueled Rochester’s descent into debauchery.

Both men can be said to have misspent their youth, live by a skewed moral compass, and give in far too often to primal instincts, such as fear, anger, and violence. Ben and Rochester come from everything, but they make the poorer choices. In a way, each has given up hope of being something different or changing course, until they meet their respective (or potential) partners.

10 Quotes

OK, here we go.

1) After Jane and Rochester meet:

R: And you came from-?

J: From Lowood school, in –shire.

R: How long were you there?

J: Eight years.

R: Eight years! You must be tenacious of life. I thought half the time in such a place would have done up any constitution! No wonder you have rather the look of another world. I marveled where you had got that sort of face.

Reylo parallel: This is essentially similar to Kylo’s reaction in TFA to finding out that Rey is from the harsh environs of Jakku and isn’t as, well, crusted up (physically and mentally) as she ought to be. It’s sort of where I feel some of his nascent fascination with her starts.

2) Jane speaking to Rochester’s housekeeper, Mrs. Fairfax, about Rochester:

F: If he has peculiarities of temper, allowance should be made.

J: Why?

F: Partly because it is his nature – and we can none of us help our nature; and, partly, he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.

J: What about?

F: Family troubles, for one thing.

J: But he has no family.

F: Not now, but he has had – or, at least, relatives. […] Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a painful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise nature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could not brook what he had to suffer in it. He is not very forgiving: he broke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled kind of life.

Reylo parallel: Mirrors Ben’s painful parting from his own family through a series of perceived personal betrayals. We can also draw comparisons between the imbalances of nature in both characters.

3) Rochester opening up to Jane about the person he was at her age:

R: Nature meant me to be, on the whole, a good man, one of the better end; and you see I am not so. Take my word for it – I am not a villain: you are not to suppose that – not to attribute to me any such bad eminence; but, owing, I verily believe, rather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite common-place sinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich and worthless try to put on life. […] Remorse is the poison of life.

J: Repentance is said to be its cure, sir.

R: It is not its cure. Reformation may be its cure; and I could reform–I have strength yet for that–if–but where is the use of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I am? Besides, since happiness is irrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I will get it, cost what it may.

Reylo parallel: Rochester’s first quote reminds me of Adam Driver’s interpretation of Kylo Ren when he said that the most dangerous and the most complicated villain is the villain who believes they’re right. Ben, despite his upbringing which would suggest otherwise, was in some ways a victim of his circumstances. Intensely lonely, very much isolated as much by his Force inheritance as his bloodline, Ben was ripe for being preyed on by someone wanting to twist his insecurities for their own machinations. Rochester’s second quote, at Jane’s prompt, echoes the back and forth conflict we see in Kylo in TFA and in Ben in TLJ. He thinks he made his choice and continues to try to rationalize and resign himself to it the way Rochester does.

4) Jane’s response to this:

J: Only one thing I know: you said you were not as good as you should like to be, and that you regretted your own imperfection; one thing I can comprehend: you intimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane. It seems to me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to become what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you began with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in a few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to which you might revert with pleasure.

Reylo parallel: Oh, Jesus, Jane/Rey. How pure you are. This touches a bit on the “kill your past” mantra that Ben hammers into Rey, who like Jane, has already dealt with her past in some ways. It colors who they’ve become and it’s painful to both, but the pain of it didn’t completely twist them, like it did in Ben and Rochester. Jane’s advice here sums up what Rey’s thought process regarding the turning of Ben Solo might have been like.

5) Jane reflecting to herself on Rochester:

J: And was Rochester now ugly in my eyes? No, reader. Yet I had not forgotten his faults: indeed, I could not, for he brought them frequently before me. He was proud, sardonic, harsh to inferiority of every description: in my secret soul I knew that his great kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others. He was moody, too; unaccountably so. But I believed that his moodiness, his harshness, and his former faults of morality (I say former, for now he seemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate. I believed he was naturally a man of better tendencies, higher principles, and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed, education instilled, or destiny encouraged. I thought there were excellent materials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and tangled. I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief, whatever that was, and would have given much to assuage it.

Reylo parallel: Holy shit. Well, aside from being a scarily accurate character study of Ben Solo as well as Rochester, this is basically summarizing the intimate notes that come out of Reylo’s Force connection, Rey’s gradual empathy for Ben, and her later rationalization for trying to bring him back: the belief that Ben can change his “faults of morality.” But, like Jane, this quote reflects Rey’s probable understanding that Ben still has some serious personality flaws to overcome before she could really love him. It also includes the definition of a Byronic hero and in it, you can see the clear parallels to Ben’s characterization as a Byronic hero.

6) Rochester disguises himself as a gypsy to try and obtain unguarded answers from Jane:

R: You are cold; you are sick; and you are silly.

J: Prove it.

R: I will; in few words. You are cold, because you are alone; no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you. You are sick; because the best of feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you. You are silly; because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon it to approach; nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits you.

Reylo parallel: This, to me, in both stories, is Ben/Rochester trying to lure Rey/Jane to him by forcing her to re-evaluate her truths. He’s trying to break her resolve. It doesn’t really work, in either case, because as I’ve said, though they may feel pain from time to time, Rey and Jane have not let these wounds fester, and it has made them basically untouchable from Ben/Rochester’s manipulations.

7) Just to nail that point home, Rochester (still in gypsy form) analyzes Jane:

R: [Jane’s] brow professes to say, - “I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure, born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld; or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give. Reason sits firm and holds the reins, and she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to wild chasms. The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they are; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things: but judgment shall still have the last word in every argument, and the casting vote in every decision. Strong wind, earthquake shock, and fire may pass by: but I shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the dictates of conscience.”

Reylo parallel: Let me just say, I really love Charlotte Brontë. For me, this is a further character similarity between Jane and Rey that makes me love both characters so much. Rochester might be getting a little carried away here, but this is such an apt description of Rey, too, and again foreshadows her final resolve to leave Ben just as it foreshadows Jane’s decision to leave Rochester. His analysis hits Rochester pretty hard and he ends the gypsy charade by revealing himself to Jane, who basically knew all along that it was him. I like to think Ben comes to a similar understanding of Rey over the course of their Force connections and admires her for it.

8) Rochester is mad and desperate over Jane’s rejection:

R: Never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable. A mere reed she feels in my hand! I could bend her with my finger and thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed her? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage–with a stern triumph. Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it– the savage, beautiful creature! If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the captive loose. Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay dwelling-place. And it is you, spirit–with will and energy, and virtue and purity–that I want: not alone your brittle frame.

Reylo parallel: Well, this is pretty much the inner thought process flooding Ben’s mind space after the throne room proposal and its rejection. It contains Rochester’s violent undertones, which are actualized by Ben’s actions on Crait and echoed in his claimed intention to destroy Rey. The insight Rochester gains, however, from this violent thinking is something Ben (likely) realizes too late on the floor of the abandoned base: his violence has given way to the hollowness of a false victory.

9) Jane’s tragic leave-taking and famous line:

J: I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you.

R: And your will shall decide your destiny. I offer you my hand, my heart, and a share of all my possessions.

J: You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.

R: I ask you to pass through life at my side – to be my second self and best earthly companion.

J: For that fate you have already made your choice, and must abide by it.

Reylo parallel: Essentially, this is the dialogue between Reylo in their final, closing Force interchange. You could subtitle their shots with these lines.

10) After Jane and Rochester are reunited she self-reflects:

J: I should not have left him thus, he said, without any means of making my way: I should have told him my intention. I should have confided in him: he would never have forced me to be his mistress. Violent as he had seemed in despair, he, in truth, loved me far too well and too tenderly to constitute himself my tyrant: he would have given me half his fortune, without demanding so much as a kiss in return, rather than I should have flung myself friendless on the wide world.

Reylo parallel: This is the retrospection that Reylo should get in IX. How many of us noted that, had Rey been less impulsive and just asked what Ben meant by creating a new order, maybe Reylo would have ended TLJ on the same side? Ben wasn’t obviously asking Rey to be his mistress, but it represents the moral miscommunication that happened between them. And, obviously, Rey isn’t friendless in a sense. But Ben knows how deep her loneliness and isolation run, and is protective of that the way Rochester is protective of Jane’s well-being. The angst!

Reylo is Space Jane Eyre. That is all.

Bonus Quote

R: I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you–especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.

Reylo parallel: Force bond.

#reylo #reylo meta #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #star wars episode ix #the last jedi #space jane eyre #long book report

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peachyhyvck · 7 years

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a-z nsfw: moon taeil

warning: absolute filth (YOU’VE BEEN WARNED)

author’s note: so, I've seen a handful of these floating around, and I decided to make my own, cause why not! (I got this template from @chantenyongs but I wasn’t able to find the original creator to give proper credit to... I'm sorry!) I’m pretty sure I’m gonna do it for the entirety of nct (legal members only, of course) and I'll prolly just go in age order? alrighty, without further ado! (K, I just finished and I went a little overboard with this lmao oops)

that stare at the very end of the gif; hot damn

A = Aftercare

I don't know if it’s just because he’s the oldest, but it’s very evident that Taeil has taken this sort of “mother figure” towards the rest of the boys. They’ve even admitted that Taeil is the best one to turn to in regard to any personal problems they may be having. And for that very reason, I strongly believe that this angel would be tending to your every need (and then some) after y’all finish “doin’ the do.” It doesn't matter if the two of you spent hours partaking in rough, kinky sex, or if you simply made love for 20 minutes. Either way, his first instinct is to ask you how you’re feeling; followed by questions regarding showering, eating, and the possibility of another round KIDDING!

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of their’s and their partner’s)

Okay but I remember reading somewhere that he said his favorite body part of his was his abs, so.... I’m just gonna leave that one as it is lmao. As for you, he’s in love borderline obsessed with your neck/jaw. Whenever you guys are alone, he likes to cup your face and rub little circles into your jawline right before he kisses you; slowly making his way down to - you guessed it - your neck. During steamier moments, he loves attacking your neck area; loving how you squirm underneath him. He doesn't even try to hide the smirk on his face as the whimpers pour out of your mouth while continues to go to town on your neck. When he’s finished, he sits back and takes a good 15 seconds to praise himself on the dozens of blue-ish/green bruises scattered all over your neck and jawline.

C = Cum

In all honesty, I think Taeil likes to keep it plain and simple and cum inside of you. Not only does it save you a mess that neither of you really wants to clean, but he enjoys the intimacy of it. When he feels himself about to fall off the edge, he loves to hold your body flush against his, and bury his face in your neck as he lets himself go inside of you.

D = Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

This is more of a secret the both of you share, rather than just him, but if any of the boys found out it would end the two of you. You’d both be too mortified to show your faces ever again... I mean, who wouldn't be embarrassed if their friends found out that they took part in their sex life? The entire thing actually started out as an accident. One day while you were at the dorms, you unintentionally got a little too close to Yuta while the two of you were watching a scary movie together. Taeil watched from the other room, fuming as you clung onto one another; burying your faces into each others chests. That night, Taeil decided to show you who you really belonged too, and after agreeing that that was by far the best sex the two of you had ever had, the whole “using the members to tease Taeil” thing became a regular occurrence!

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

As far as actual physical experience goes, I don't think Taeil has much of any. He spent years of his life as a trainee, with presumably little to no time to maintain any kind of relationship; so I think its safe to say he’s still a virgin. But I do think he knows a lot about sex in general, and knows just how to please a woman. Given the opportunity, I think he’d do a pretty damn good job!

F = Favorite position

Taeil prefers good ol’ missionary. Referring back to the answers I've already given, this position not only gives him free rein to mark up your neck as much as he pleases, but it also allows him to pull your body against his and bury his face into your neck while he cums.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Honestly, I think it all depends on his state of mind. If he’s stress free, or as stress free as you can be as an idol, and in a good place, I think sex would be bubbly and lighthearted! But if he’s being overworked, and the pressure is weighing down on his shoulders, I feel like he’d be more serious, and focus all his attention on fucking his troubles away.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)

Tbh I think he’s pretty good at keeping himself well groomed. As long as there’s nobody to shave for, I don't think he’d go through all the hassle. He probably trims it regularly to keep it under control, but as soon as he gets into a relationship, I can see him starting to actually shave... Cause I mean, ya never know when you’re gonna get lucky, am I right???

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

“Doyoung-ah, I’m romantic” I'm sorry that’s the first thing that popped into my head as soon as I read the question lmao. But in all honesty, I truly think Taeil is a very romantic person! During mainstream, casual sex, I see him as the “people pleaser” type. He’s always putting you before himself. He's one of those people that actually gets off on your pleasure! He doesn't even think about coming before you have.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

I’d say Taeil masturbates on a regular basis; sometimes more than usual when he’s got a little extra tension built up in him. But he’s kinda weird in regard to said topic... Even though y’all have done much worse in the bedroom, he still gets oddly shy when it comes to masturbating? He checks at least three time to make sure he locked the door before even thinking about dropping his pants. Even the thought of you catching him in the act has him losing his hard on faster than he got it... idk man, I guess everyone needs their alone time, right?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again - Taeil is one hella freaky dude. As far as kinks go, I think he’s into the following:

Dominance: Referring back to the “dirty secret,” you can bet your ass Taeil is gonna be the one in charge in the bedroom! He takes much pride in the way you listen to each and every one of his commands. Even when he “gives you control” for the night, you and him both know damn well that you’re never really in control... Even when you top, he’s got a firm grasp on your hips; controlling both your speed and your movements.

Marking (giving & receiving): Also referring back to his favorite body part of yours, Taeil has a slight obsession with leaving as many hickeys on you as he can. He loves the way your body, (neck in particular), looks after he’s left his mark on you; in the form of little purple blotches. He also secretly loves it when you return the favor; as long as its below the neckline, and out of sight for anyone to see! He likes to bitch and complain about the hickeys on his chest and scratch marks covering his back the morning after, but when he's all alone, he’ll stand in the mirror shirtless, and admire the work of art you left on his skin.

Dirty talk (giving & receiving): At first glance, Taeil might seem like a shy and reserved kind of guy, but in the bedroom he’s far from! He’s actually quite blunt. He likes to whisper crude remarks in your ear in-between pants and moans; leaving you speechless and blushing like crazy. But Taeil can’t even put into words what it does to him when you return the vulgar comments. It sends a chill down his spine hearing such dirty words spill from your precious mouth, and he has to stop himself from coming right then and there.

Teasing (giving): This little shit... Taeil is the biggest damn tease! One of his favorite things to do is make you beg for whatever it is he’s withholding from you. He’s relentless, too. If you’re feeling stubborn and refuse to give into his desire to hear you beg, then oh well. I guess you’ll have to go without, because no matter how willful you may be, he’s even more headstrong; and he is not giving you want you want until he hears you beg for it!

Orgasm control (giving): This one goes hand in hand with the teasing. More often than not, Taeil is going to make you work for your orgasms! Right when he realizes you’re on the brink of euphoria, he’ll slow down any and all movements to an agonizing, torturous pace, with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. He’ll then proceed to taunt you, asking if you “really deserve it” in an ever so condescending tone. Sometimes ya just wanna slap him.

Loud sex: If you ask me, Taeil is one of, if not the loudest in bed. He lets himself bask in the pleasure, not giving two fucks about how loud he may be in the process. But he’s always making an effort not to get too loud; as he wants to be able to hear you crying out from the pleasure. And if you’re thinking of slapping a hand over your mouth, or biting your lip to forcibly quiet yourself down, don't; because Taeil won't be having any of that.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, this freak dude would be fine taking you anywhere, as long as theres a locked door; meaning absolutely no chance of getting caught. Being the oldest, there’s this sense of responsibility he carries, and he can't help but try to be the best role model possible to his younger brothers. Getting caught having sex by one of the other members is one of the worst things that could happen, according to him.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going, etc)

As previously stated, seeing you “flirting” with his friends is a sure way to get him all riled up and ready to fuck your brains out. But a very close second to that would be stress. Taeil is the type of person to literally fuck his stress away. If he’s being overworked and pushed too hard, his emotions get all out of whack, which tends to makes him extremely horny. And I’m not talking “cute, bubbly, vanilla sex” horny - no. I’m talking “fucking you into your mattress so hard you can’t walk tomorrow” horny. But I mean hey, who’s complaining? He’s relieving himself of some unwanted stress while you get dicked the fuck down... It’s a win-win situation!

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do; turn offs)

Like I said, Taeil wouldn’t do anything to risk getting caught in the act by any of the other members. Meaning absolutely no sex if theres not a lock on the door. Just the thought of that is bone chilling to him. Other than that, Taeil strikes me as the kind of guy to “try anything once,” so I think with him, experimenting would be a major key in letting you know what things he enjoys and what things he doesn't.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Honestly, with Taeil, its dead even. Of course he loves getting his dick sucked, (what guy doesn't), but he loves pleasuring you just as much. Watching you squirm underneath him while your faces scrunches in pleasure, hands desperately grabbing at his hair as you whimper his name followed by moans and groans of pure satisfaction is a thing of beauty to him. He wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. As far as skills go, this boy definitely knows how to use his mouth; thats for sure! Hell, he probably knows your own body better than you do!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc)

Like I've been saying throughout this entire post, his pace, attitude, and everything alike depends 100% on what kind of mood he’s in. But more often than not, be prepared for rough sex, because thats exactly what Taeil will be giving to you!

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

Hell yeah, Taeil’s down for a quickie! But, (for the 50th time), only if its behind the security of a locked door! Whether it be fast one in a LOCKED bedroom at the dorms, or a quick fuck in a LOCKED supply closet backstage before a show, he’s all up for it! He just, and this bares repeating, DOESN’T WANT TO GET CAUGHT!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

Taeil’s as game as they come. Like I mentioned, he’s the kinda guy to try something at least once before deciding whether or not he likes it. A big part of your sex life is experimenting with different kinds of positions, kinks, toys, etc. As far as risks go, Taeil is pretty mild. Since getting caught is a huge no-no, don't expect to try anything spontaneously perilous.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc)

I’d say Taeil’s stamina is a little above average. On average, he can go two, sometimes three rounds if he’s feeling up to it. Sex as a whole usually lasts about an hour or so, (give or take a little), but a lot of it foreplay, rather than actual sex. Still good, nonetheless!

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

It definitely depends on the toy! I can see Taeil loving things like handcuffs, blindfolds, and pretty much anything that has to do with sensory depravation; aiding him in the teasing aspect of things. But I don't see him being too fond of toys such as vibrators. He prides himself in knowing just what you like and being able to pleasure you in unthinkable ways, so bringing in a toy that’ll potentially take his place isn't really ideal to him. He also isn't too keen on you using any of said toys on him. In his eyes, it only takes away from the domineering persona that he worked so hard to build.

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

HE TEASES YOU TO NO EXTENT! Sometimes, if he's feeling extra cruel, he’ll see just how far he can take the teasing; until you absolutely can't take it anymore. If that means you’re left with tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, then so be it. His dominant nature mixed with his love for teasing and hearing you beg makes for some harsh and persistent torment. Which is still undoubtably enjoyable.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)

Again, if you ask me, Taeil is the loudest of all in the bedroom. He is very much a moaner! Most of the sounds he elicits are going to be loud, angelic moans. He’s also a bit of a groaner/grunter; especially if he’s fucking you for all you’re worth. I can definitely see him being the type to cry out when he cums, too. The most beautiful, sinful, melodious sound your ears have ever been blessed with.

W = Wild Card (Create a random headcannon for the character of your choice)

“Now, baby girl,” Taeil says, ignoring your distraught whimpers as yet another orgasm slips through your fingers, “what have I told you about flirting with my friends just to tease me?” he asks in a low, raspy tone while dragging a single digit tauntingly around your core; purposely avoiding the place you desperately needed him the most.

There was a dull ache in your shoulders as you wiggled your wrists, wincing at the chaffing of the handcuffs that currently bound your hands together. You slowly looked up to find Taeil already staring at you; making you feel completely powerless under his intense gaze. His eyes were a darker shade than usual, and his face held a stern expression that sent waves of both excitement and nervousness coursing through your body at the thought of what was to come.

“I asked you a question!” he bellowed out as he suddenly pinched your clit between his thumb and pointer finger; eliciting a high pitched yelp from you, as you helplessly tugged on your restraints.

“I’M SORRY I’M S-SORRY-” you cried out, trying to the best of your ability to shimmy your way higher up on the bed, and away from the harsh hold he had on your sex.

“Really? Cause you didn't seem too sorry when you were throwing yourself on Johnny earlier today?” he asked rhetorically as he cocked his head to the side and sent you a bone chilling glare.

“I-I...” you stuttered, unable to think of a suitable response for his accusation.

“That’s what I thought,” he replied in a curt manner, before thrusting his hips forwards; filling you up without the slightest warning.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what's going on in those pants; picture or words)

Hmm I think Taeil is average in length; maybe around 5 inches? But he definitely makes up for it in girth because DAMN that boy is THICK !!!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Since a big part of his sex drive comes from stress, and I’d imagine he’s pretty stressed out most, if not all of the time, I'd say his sex drive is fairly high.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

This all depends on how rough he was with you. The rougher he is, the more thoughtful and considerate the aftercare will be. This boy doesn't even THINK about laying down to go to sleep before making sure you’re alright; and that he didn't go to far, or get too aggressive with you. He might be all dominant, rough and condescending during sex, but afterwards, he’s back to the sweet, harmless, caring and gentle Taeil you know and love!

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catherinecaycewrites-blog · 4 years

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7 Playlists for a Day without Coffee or Sex, It’s all About You

Personally, no decent human being should ever go through the morning without at least one hearty cup of their favorite blend of morning java, but if it just isn’t your thing, or after that one cup, you need to power through your day, nothing speaks better to the mind, body and soul than music. Music speaks to the human spirit like nothing else can. It can alter your emotion with the simple change of 5 chords. It can lift your spirits, make you cry, fill you with rage for war, and soothe your soul. So, if you need to keep your pep up through the day without drowning in caffeine, the simplest way to complete this Herculean task is to create playlists for various times of the day to meet your unique needs.

Obviously, these lists are going to be diversified depending on whether you are male or female and your particular favorite genre of music. I like to think of myself as fairly open-minded and well-versed in all music styles from pop, rock, country, metal, punk, and rap and from every generation going back to the 60’s (No, I’m not that old, I’m just a music aficionado).

Breaking up the day, so that you’re always jamming to good tunes to get you through your workday, start your day with some lively wake-up and shake it up music that will put a smile on your face and get you ready for your day.

7-9 am

I Prevail: Blank Space - Don’t get me wrong, I used to jam out to Taylor’s Swift’s version, but once you’ve heard this version, sorry Taylor, there’s just no comparison, but don’t worry Taylor, you still made our lists. https://youtu.be/czb_CZfWko8

Gwyn Stefani: Holla Back Girl – Fun, cute video too! https://youtu.be/Kgjkth6BRRY

Rachel Platten: Fight Song – If you ever needed an inspirational song to get you going? Blare this one at level 10 and sing it out loud while either putting on your makeup ladies or (shaving – come on guys, you can do it.) https://youtu.be/xo1VInw-SKc

Skillet: Invincible – Rock it out and bang your head while you fix your hair. https://youtu.be/Qzw6A2WC5Qo

Iggy Azalea – Fancy: A white girl’s fairly good attempt at pop and rap mixture gets you dancing around the room while you are getting dressed and keeps you moving. https://youtu.be/O-zpOMYRi0w

Anna Kendrick – Cups: Made famous by Pitch Perfect, once really can’t help but smile and try to keep up with the hand motion and rhythm of this catchy tune; it will definitely keep you moving. https://youtu.be/cmSbXsFE3l8

Eminem- Til I Collapse: I don't need a Transformer to make me move to Eminem, he always gets my butt hustling in the morning with his sheer talent of wordplay, meaning, and rhythm. https://youtu.be/ytQ5CYE1VZw

Ed Sheeran – Castle on the Hill: Ed Sheeran has an iconic future ahead of him. He can do no wrong musically. This song has you dancing while happily reminiscing about every good moment you ever had, prepping you for a wonderful day. https://youtu.be/K0ibBPhiaG0

50 Cent – In Da Club: Like a lot of rap songs, I have absolutely no idea what 50 Cent is saying other than it’s My Birthday, we are dancing in the club, and it has a great dancing beat. The clean version works for me because then when I do recognize a word, it’s not an unnecessary curse word that I don’t know its reference. https://youtu.be/5qm8PH4xAss

The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men: So, just for pure oldies and shock fun value, I threw this goodie in. Most men will say they hate it, but they won’t bother skipping it as they gather their briefcases, and the women who recognize it will enjoy this blast from the past. https://youtu.be/l5aZJBLAu1E

Survivor – Eye of the Tiger: Those first four beats were superiorly orchestrated purposefully to light a fire under any listeners caboose and get them motivated to charge the hill! The theme song to many inspirational movies, and commercials, it is designed to get you're a** out the door. https://youtu.be/btPJPFnesV4

The Chainsmokers & Coldplay – Something Just Like This: While grabbing a quick breakfast, bite, or protein shake, this is a perfect song to move and hum along to. I also must say, that as an ex-English teacher I LOVE when pop-culture references historical or literary figures. This song refers specifically to Achilles and to Hercules, and if even one curious teenager looks up either of these figures to understand the lyrics better, I applaud the artist and am thrilled that a child had the courage to educate themselves! https://youtu.be/FM7MFYoylVs

G-Eazy & Kehlani – Good Life (The Fate of the Furious): From the last in the Fast and the Furious series, the hip upbeat duo is a surprising find for me. Very upbeat catchy pop/rap song; Kehlani truly makes the song a hit; personally, I could listen to it without G-easy and enjoy it just the same. Her voice is a true harmonious pleasure to listen to especially in a rap song when lyrics can be difficult to understand, her voice is wonderfully crystal clear. https://youtu.be/FG9M0aEpJGE

Steve Aoki & Louis Tomlinson – Just Hold On: As you’re grabbing your keys and heading out the door, this catchy little tune is a great reminder that if today is a rough or difficult day, “just hold on” it will be over soon. https://youtu.be/Vt4Tq89R8u0

Walk the Moon – Shut Up and Dance: Getting you ready for your next playlist, or for the day, this is another great motivational song. I love listening to it when I’m having a down moment. I listen to just the chorus; when life is getting you down, when you have to do something you just don’t want to, suck it up, shut up and dance, and everything is going to be o.k. https://youtu.be/6JCLY0Rlx6Q

You slide in the seat of your car pepped up and ready for a fantastic day at work, and we need to keep that momentum up, so while you are driving and while you are at work, keep these songs playing in the background to keep your energy levels burning without that caffeine buzz.

9-11 am

Five Finger Death Punch - Battle Born: One of the newer rock bands in the past few years, FFDP is one group that can always keep you pumped, and Battle Born will have you prepared for the battles at work once you listen to this song.

Rush – Freewill: Masters of lyrics, rock legends Rush has no problem ever motivating anyone to do anything. Whether an old fan or a new listener, Freewill is the song to get you hooked to their legendary music and keep you moving through the day.

Jessie J- Masterpiece: This song is 20, 30, and even 40 something's generationers tribute song. If you need a song to become your own personal self-improvement or growth song this is the one. Jesse J's dynamic, fun and hyped up song teaches us that you are never too old to keep improving on your own masterpiece. https://youtu.be/PTOFEgJ9zzI

Avril Lavigne- Never Growing Up: Piggybacking on the idea of improving yourself, Avril’s song is a rebellious decree that no matter what age, you don’t “have” to grow up entirely. Hold on to some of the kid in you, it will keep you young and healthy. https://youtu.be/sXd2WxoOP5g

Beyonce – Irreplaceable: For every human, male or female, that has ever been wronged in a relationship, Beyonce has written the quintessential upbeat and empowering "don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out" song, proving to everyone, they deserve to be treated with respect, honor, and loyalty. https://youtu.be/2EwViQxSJJQ

Big & Rich – Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy: Jumping around a bit, we throw some country in there with Big and Rich to get you feeling a little frisky. How can you help it? You have just booted your cheating partner out, and now you’re ready to get your country on and jump back in the saddle.

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance: However, Lady Gaga is there to seductively and vigorously remind you, men, that no matter what happens, she will always be there for your bad romance and love. https://youtu.be/qrO4YZeyl0I

Justin Timberlake – Can’t Stop this Feeling: While Justin dances his way into the hearts of the women, with his seductive eyes and smile, crooning how he can’t stop his feelings for you.

Shawn Mendes – Treat You Better: These songs are designed to keep you energized and motivated, and how can you not be when Shawn’s words are ones you have sometimes longed to hear and to an upbeat tempo. https://youtu.be/lY2yjAdbvdQ

Eminem – Lose Yourself: Just when you are feeling soothed, loved, and lively you are bombarded and shocked even more awake with an instant cappuccino shot of Eminem reminding you that now is the moment to grab life by the … reins. This is your moment, this is your day, continue having a great one and go to the meeting you need to, talk to the client, the boss, deal with a demanding situation with all the confidence you now have. https://youtu.be/_Yhyp-_hX2s

Ed Sheeran – Galway Girl: You have successfully dealt with the first issue of the day, time to enjoy a moment with the lively, voice of Ed as he imaginarily grabs and squeezes your hand in celebration of getting over the first hump. https://youtu.be/87gWaABqGYs

Imagine Dragons – Demons- Imagine Dragons assure you that they will be with you to help you along the way the rest of the day to help you face the rest of your work demons. https://youtu.be/mWRsgZuwf_8

Kiss – Rock and Roll all Night: Old school, back when people knew how to rock and roll all night, KISS’s Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley will remind you or teach you and get you hyped up “real” rock style.

David Bowie & Mick Jagger – Dancing in the Street: Once you've been properly schooled or reminded Rock icons David and Mick will take you out dancing just for a bit of fun and to confuse the heck out of you and to prepare you for the next fun upbeat hit.

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want to Have Fun: There is no possible way to have an upbeat playlist sans caffeine without including this notorious and timeless pop classic to send you off to your next meetings or lunch hour.

You’ve made it halfway through your workday, and you’ve vaulted over hurdles like an Olympic champion and all without extra java. You’ve got this. Music is your “green” way. You don’t need Monster, Coffee, or Red Bull, not when you have the power of harmonious spirited vibrations supporting your whole being into the next part of your productive occupational day.

11am -1pm

Dead Milkman- Stuart: When you get the next chance, perhaps on your lunch break, prepare yourself for underappreciated but righteously awesome funky punk. If you have even the slightest intelligent yet sarcastic, witty and dark humor in you, you will love this song and play it multiple times and for your friends if you already haven’t.

Violent Fems- Blister in the Sun: Staying with a funky lunch, who doesn’t jump up and down when they think of big hands? It's impossible to be sad, tired or depressed to 80's dance-punk. However, stay too long in this genre, and no one is responsible for your hairdo the next day.

Maroon 5- Animals: First of all, if you haven’t seen the video, on your lunch break, male or female, watch it. When did sadistically, stalker, slaughterhouse, blood fetish become so damn sexy? I’m not sure which is hotter, the thumping pulse and tempo or the two beautiful bodies intertwined in pig’s blood (huh?) It goes to prove that music can make anything sexy, the fact that the bodies are Adam Levine and his beautiful model partner have nothing to do with it. https://youtu.be/qpgTC9MDx1o

David Guetta – Hey Mama ft Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, & Afro Jax – One listen and good or bad, you will be stuck humming this dance beat in your head for days. Nicki Manaj is too trendy for her own good. https://youtu.be/uO59tfQ2TbA

Taylor Swift – Bad Blood & Look What You Made Me Do: See Taylor, I told you, that you made the list. This is probably one of her best songs in a while. It's dark and edgy for her yet it still has a pop and faster-paced tempo that keeps you moving. https://youtu.be/QcIy9NiNbmo https://youtu.be/3tmd-ClpJxA

Ellie Goulding – Love Me Like You Do: Personally, Ellie is hit or miss; however, she made a center bullseye with this one. Just the slightest bit of a slower tempo, it still keeps you swaying. Time for a little digesting.

Fall Out Boy- Centuries: Don’t get too comfortable. Time to bring that tempo right back up and remind yourself that today, you are taking over the world.

Mary Lambert – Secrets: Oh My Gosh! In love with this song! It has everything a contemporary pop song should have including a public service message. Keep up the great messages tagged to phenom songs.

ShineDown – Sound of Madness: Time for a little raging. Shinedown is another newer amazing thrash worthy hard rock band that you just want to rock out to.

Madonna – Material Girl: the key to your playlists are to constantly keep changing genres so your mood stays elevated. Madonna alone is everything anyone would ever need to stay elevated, and all of her songs work too.

Justin Beiber – Love Yourself: If you were to tell me I would like a boy band type of singer, let alone Beiber a year ago, I would have laughed. However, I have an out with this song; I heard it prior to knowing it was the Beiber, and it is catchy, so I fell in love with its appealing tunes and moveable melodies.

Michael Jackson – Beat It: No playlist would ever be complete without the world’s most iconic and legendary performer, Michael Jackson. I selected Beat It for the simple message to remind yourself to never let anyone take advantage of you at work. Stand up for yourself and watch how fast people change their tune.

Three Days Grace – Pain: The drum and bass line in this song along with the lyrics in this rock song get your head instinctively banging forward. Blood molecules rush forward steadily in a four-count mood stimulating jam.

Pitbull – Greenlight ft. Flo Rida, LunchMoney Lewis: A little odd rap song: however, what it lacks in oral originality, it makes up for in rhythm and fun progression.

Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive: Lunch is over, and this oldie but goodie happily reminds you that you are going to make it through the rest of the afternoon.

The next few hours are the most critical in the no oral chemical digestive stimulant part of the day. Right after lunch, your tummy is full, so your body is using energy to digest the food. The afternoon sun is warming the building extra, so either you may get comfortably warm or the office turns the temperature down and the cooler air cools your body’s temperature into a resting sleep state. Now is the time to stay alert. Your next playlist needs to be hard, heavy, maybe a little angry and dangerous to keep your fuel levels up.

1-3 pm

Halsey – Castle: We are going to start off with a little anger and sexual vengeance. Straight from The Huntsman, the blend of throbbing bass and angelic church choir background is a beautiful way to express not only The Evil Queen but any wronged person seeking vindication.

Eminem & Rhianna – I Love the Way You Lie Part I & II: In the spirit of staying a little bitter with adrenaline, no rap song does it better than the sexy blend of Eminem & Rhianna’s two songs answering each other back to back.

Skillet- Not Gonna Die: If Eminem isn’t successful with his threats, Skillet reconfirms that no matter what happens to you, forcefully pull yourself through. Find your inner strength and know you will survive.

Tyler Farr – Redneck Crazy: Just so we don’t go too dark, too quickly and send a biting e-mail, we can still maintain the heightened mood but a little lighter in a Country way. Going Redneck crazy is sometimes a healthier way to blow off steam.

Halestorm – Daughters of Darkness: There are too few women in rock and metal, so when you find a badass b**** who brings the house down with her jams such as Lizzy Hale, you crank up the noise, even if you put in your earbuds, hiding in the bathroom stall, and you freaking jam.

Buck Cherry – Crazy Bitch: Pretend you have a tummy ache if you must, just to listen to one more crazy and wild song to throw your adrenaline into overdrive.

Tu Pac – Keep Ya Head Up: He might not be the father of rap, but this soulful poet known throughout the world for his meaningful lyrics was definitely the king. Even if you hate rap music, you can’t hate Tu Pac.

Avenged Seven-Fold – A Little Piece of Heaven: Are you ready for a hyper, sick and twisted ride through demented-ville that will have you impulsively bebopping along with it? If you like silly, sick and twisted things, watch the animated video, seriously funny.

Marilyn Manson – Beautiful People: Speaking of sick and twisted visual things… I’ve never understood Manson’s look, but I love his dark techno sound; it speaks to my inner dark child.

Kelly Clarkson – People Like Us: One of her lesser known songs, it’s a little dark for her, but sends a great message and will really lift your spirits.

Bonnie Tyler – I Need a Hero: After Kelly reassures you that you are not alone, sometimes you then just want a helping hand. Shrek and other media tools have used this great Classic Pop song as the perfect example to show that we all need rescuing sometimes.

Bullet for my Valentine – Tears Don’t Fall: Even if we feel like we might fall, fail or mess up, never let them see you cry. Keep it together, only a few hours more. You are stronger than you realize, you have made it this far, bang on a little more.

Stone Sour – Made of Scars: Life has left you full of lessons and experiences, and you have come out the other end a better person because of it. Yes, you have scars inside and out. Wear them proudly; they are your rock badges of glory and all you have accomplished.

Billie Idol – Rebel Yell: It’s 2:30, you might be feeling a little tired, you might be feeling challenged. What are you going to do? That’s right! Yell at life and tell it to, “Bring it, ‘More, More, More’”. You are a champion and will not be defeated.

Kelly Clarkson – My Life Would Suck Without You: You might need some words of encouragement though. At this moment, take a break and call your partner, friend, child or anyone you love and can't live without and tell them how much they mean to you. Hearing their voice will make you feel better, it will release endorphins into your bloodstream, make you smile, and give you a natural high with a shot of energy, and if you choose, share this cute song with them.

MC Hammer – You Can’t Touch This: Even with its opening chords, you can tell that while the song isn't "Hammer Time", MC always brings the groove. Something about this dance classic makes you want to go up to your office friends or nemesis and put your hand out, singing "Can't touch this", and walk away laughing, feeling a bit refreshed.

You have made it through the hump. Way to go! Don’t you feel amazing? You should, and be proud, but now is not the time to slack off. Now, is the time to figure out a quick break period before you go home. It’s time to squeeze in some exercise and go for a medium walk around the building, up and down the stairs, something. Get a solid 15 minutes of cardio in, while jamming out to the next playlist designed to keep your spirits soaring.

3-5 pm

Elle King – X’s & O’s; The first part of the list is upbeat pop created to get your butt moving. Elle’s sassy tune throws you in a confident mood and puts a stride in your step.

Pink – Raise a Glass: Pure Perfection is found in Pink because she doesn't care what anyone thinks (new lyrics?). All her songs display her unique style, but none more than this one that encourages you to join her.

Maggie Lindemann - Pretty Girl: Newish to the music scene, Maggie follows Pinks lead with the same message but a fresh style. Keep strutting with this one.

Blues Traveler – Hook: If you don't remember this one or have never heard it, get ready for an auditory explosion of music, allegory, and resonance mastery that you have to play it again and again.

Grease – You’re the one that I want: I had to throw one musical in, and no one can resist Grease! Everyone knows it, and can’t resist singing along to Olivia’s and John’s duets.

Little Mix – Black Magic – While searching around YouTube, I stumbled across the cute, teeny bopperish treasure that I couldn’t help but add because, well, it made me smile and want to move.

Taylor Swift - Shake it Off: Almost ready to go back inside, so let's power up this last one with Ms. Swift one more time. Shake off all the stress and worry of the day; it's almost over, and a cold beer or drink is waiting for you as a reward for the day.

Linkin’ Park - In the End: You are now back in your office, at your desk, or wherever you are stationed, pulling through the last hour and need to really feel the burn to pull through. Rest in Peace Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin’ Park, who died 7/20/2017, your music though will keep us going.

Saliva – Ladies and Gentlemen: As an advanced educated woman in her _0’s, I should not find a video with two females boxing appealing, so I have to blame it completely on the music. As mentioned before, the power of music is fierce. It has the power to convert the most formidable of opponents into allies. If music was a lawyer or a head of government, the world would be unified.

Drowning Pool- Bodies: When you need a song to fuel your inner fire, here it is. The percussions engage you and envelop you, making you one with the metal sound.

Harlee Steinfeld – Love Myself: You’re going to need to cool down a bit after the last one, so this pop song helps keep you up while calming you down. However, listening to the words, I’m convinced this a reply to Mr. Beiber; however, after doing research, the two singers are friends. Maybe she just got the idea off his song. Young pop singers???

Dr. Dre – I Need a Dr.: This song reaches out to the listener, speaks of human bonds, mistakes, life, and how you can ruin everything in seconds. Its profound, deep and rhythmic. The blending of voices telling the story is poetry in synchronization.

DMX – Party Up (Up in Here): DMX is another amazing storytelling rapper; however, this particular song is written purely to express getting one’s frustrations out. I think I must play this song at least twice a day.

Martina McBride – Independence Day – Time for a little Country. The countdown has begun, and you have done phenomenally at work today. Martina belts out your freedom about to come.

Dead Kennedys – Take this Job and Shove It: (cartoon factory whistle WHOOOO) The best 5 o’clock song for parting down the elevator and boogying out to the car.

You made it through the workday without those chemical stimulants. I knew you had it in you the whole time. Now, time to prepare for the car ride home possibly prepping for dinner. If you get stuck in the grind, and you start getting heavy-eyed, just turn up the volume. There are some mellower, older, nostalgic tunes, mixed with hip new stuff. Listen, reminisce, learn, love, repeat.

5-7 pm

Change – John Waite: We are going to start with the 80’s generation. Very few people will remember this (God, I can’t believe I’m saying this) 80’s oldie, some people might remember the artist (not to be confused with Tom Waites, and remember at the beginning when I said I had a wide range of music tastes); however, this great 80’s hit has one of the best timeless messages, so I continue to return to it and remind myself.

Rick Springfield – Jessie’s Girl: Staying in the 80’s Springfield was always on the charts. This Top Ten hit would be a hit even by today’s standards, but I’ll beat the person that tries to remake it.

Quit it Millennials! Yes, the 80’s were the best, but you don’t get to live them by trying to remake them. You missed them, too bad. Janis died before I could see her in person, but I wouldn’t dare desecrate her memory by redoing Me and Bobby McGee. Off soapbox, back to playlists. (Big Smile!)

Duran Duran -The Chauffeur: My favorite British 80's pop-rock band ever; however, I did not choose one of the megahits. If you know the band, but don't know this song, you must listen to it. Simon's voice is a sultry sin, and the keyboard notes are hypnotic. I think I went through ALL of puberty in the one playing of this song. I listen to it now, and nostalgically I am transported to an imaginary tropical oasis where all my fantasies are answered.

Aha- Take on Me: Greatest keyboard rift of the 80’s. Every teenager with big hair sang the rift along with the words. The video made music animation famous, and it is impossible to be tired or depressed when listening to this song.

Fun – Some Nights: And a quick snap back to present day, but at least it is with a “fun” song, that became an instant hit. You will find yourself awake and singing along.

Maroon 5 – Pay Phone: Another one of my favorite Maroon 5 songs; especially the version with Wiz Khalifa rapping in the center.

Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody: Now, I’m taking you back in time again. If you do not know this song, you have lived under a rock your entire life, and it is time to come out and join the rest of the human race an experience the glory that is the Queen’s finest rock opera.

Don Mclean - American Pie: Here, ladies and gentlemen, again, is a song that if you don’t know, you should. It is a part of American pop culture music history. It is forever burned in the minds of millions across multiple generations. It’s referenced in English classes as one of the most symbolic and metaphorical songs, and the refrain will stay with you so that you too will sing it “until the day that you die”.

Eagles – Hotel California: Another must know epic song, the Eagles are the sound of generations, and don't say, "but Hell froze over." To your elders, you sound like ---------s. Learn these songs younger generation; learn them by heart, and teach them to your children, so when someone says, "You can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave," you can contribute intelligently.

Abba - Dancing Abba: Swedish Pop Rock icons, all of the songs of this group became instant hits; they could not err. They proved it again to new generations with the stage performance and later movie Mama Mia. For decades people gleefully sing their songs; they had a “song to sing”, and they amazed the world when they did.

Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama: In the 70’s Southern Rock became a popular genre, and nobody played it better than Skynard. Numerous hits mark them as Southern Rock Gods, but this one will keep you awake better than any coffee or even “sweet tea”.

Charlie Daniels Band- Devil Went Down to Georgia: Another Southern Rock genius, Charlie not only rocked the South, he rocked the globe, and this song will forever be branded in history because of a boy named Johnny and his hot golden fiddle playin’ fingers made you kick your heels up.

Bee Gees- Stayin Alive: The other genre that kept the 70’s moving was Disco. Feathered hair and leisure suits were considered “cool”, and John Travolta made the movie that this song came from “hot”. Well, part of that sentence is true.

Jimmy Buffett – Margaritaville: If you don’t know what a Parrot Head is, it’s time you learn. Any lover of Mr. Buffett’s island, tropical rock music that has ruled and entertained for almost 50 years is considered a Parrot head.

You have made it home, you have had your first drink of the evening, and you have even had dinner. You are truly amazing. Look at what a kick-ass playlist can help you do. Now it is time for a little downtime, you time. Grab that second beer, glass of wine, water, or favorite beverage and find your favorite lounging spot. Sit out on the deck, cozy up in an overstuffed couch or chair, take a hot bubble bath and plug into these songs whose whole purpose is to keep you entertained, relaxed, yet alert because you know and love them so well you will sing along. Again, most of these artists are Music Legends from Decades ago, and if you are unfamiliar with them, it's time to be musically educated on what you missed out on.

7-9 pm

Fleetwood Mac – Silver Springs: We start out our playlist with the goddess of 70’s Folk Rock. Stevie Nicks flows through time agelessly, she continues to sing, perform and seduce you with her voice regardless of the song, and this one is no different.

Elton John – Little Jeanie: The best and most unique styled writer, artist, and performer, for almost 50 years. Knighted by the Queen of England for his talent, Sir Elton’s creative genius is noticed in everything he does, and this song is no different. This song, once you know it becomes a part of your core being.

CCR – Southern Cross: When you’re ready to get lost on an ocean of eternal pleasant yearning for endless waters, skies and stars, to feel the pull of a cosmic force that connects you to the artist and the universe, then this is the song.

Zac Brown Band – Colder Weather: Even though Zac had already been established in the Country industry for a few years, it was this song that first caught my attention, from one gypsy soul to another I was caught.

Rascal Flatts – God Bless the Broken Road: Sticking with Country for a moment, as stated earlier, music has the ability to reach people’s emotions in a way that very few other things can. This song will not only reach the depth of you, it slowly glides over your skin, and down your back and down to your toes encouraging you to call your partner and tell them how much you love them.

Tracy Chapman – Fast Car: Tracy’s timbre is unparalleled. If you are unfamiliar with her work, start here and work your way through her albums, no other female artist creates a deep and rich quality that echoes memories across the ages.

Jewel – Hands: Rolling from one deep song into another, Jewel reaches her audiences with her ability to reverberate her voice at key points. All of her songs send chills and creates goosebumps that always amazes me.

Alabama – Song of the South: Don’t get too relaxed. Bringing back the Southern Rock, Song of the South represents the whole Southern Rock movement and will have you back rockin’ in a matter of moments.

Jimmy Buffet – Son of a Son of a Sailor: Slightly moving over to our oceans again, our lead Parrothead makes you want to leave dry land forever and take on the life of a pirate even if it is 100 years too late.

James Taylor – Sweet Baby James: We couldn’t get through these playlists without a mention of Mr. Taylor, like many of the other iconic geniuses, his music is where legends are made. The imagery of this song sprays across whatever room you are sitting in as he sings his story to you.

Phil Collins – Against All Odds: In 1984, the title movie came out. It was a romantic thriller film, and its soundtrack was nominated for a Grammy. This song was deservingly nominated for an Academy Award and a Golden Globe Award. Once you listen to it, you will understand why. Collins’ music was everywhere for twenty years, and it was always a hit.

Bread – Goodbye Girl: Another title song representing the movie from which it was written, this great 70’s song represents a 1977 comedy-drama film written by Neil Simon. The song’s lyrics are wistful and encourage the listener to believe in love.

Air Supply – Making Love Out of Nothing of All: Many artists write and sing about love and pull at our heartstrings; that's the purpose of a love song. However, no other duo in music history before or since has mastered the art of the love song like Air Supply. Every song they laid track to was purposefully written to open your chest and pour every metaphor, simile, and allegory possible about love and coat your heart with them. You will ache, rejoice, weep, laugh, yearn, celebrate, and every other possible emotion associated with the word love when listening to their music.

Meat Loaf – Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad: Air Supply supercharged you with the greatest love song, and now Meat Loaf, the world’s greatest Rock Opera writer and singer will melt you with this epic song.

Righteous Brothers – Unchained Brothers: To finish off your day, playlist, and songs of love, I leave you with a love song from 1963 when love had a different meaning to people. It lasted forever, it really was eternal, people stayed true. It was a time before cell phones when you talked face to face and people communicated to work through their issues instead of relying on technology. It was a much simpler time in many ways, and maybe in many ways, it proves the point that ignorance is bliss, but doesn't some bliss in your life sound good?

TADA! We made it together! You made it without your oral stimulants and instead relied on the power of auditory emotional stimulation created by the only thing I know that can change the way a person feels every two and a half minutes (the length of an average song). We jumped from generations and genres, tempos and beats to create energy levels that were needed at specific times. Only music can do this. I challenge you to find more songs and add them to our playlists, remembering to add songs that only keep you supercharged and pumped up. PLAY ON!

#blogpost #music #playlist #playlists

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kitashiwrites · 7 years

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Wave Upon The Sand - A Tarquin Fic

Series: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas Characters: Tarquin, Cresseida, Varian, Feyre, Rhysand, Amren POV: Tarquin Rating: T Word Count: 3503 Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9818336

Summary: Chapter 32 of ACOMAF from Tarquin’s POV.

**May be continued! Read the note at the beginning :)**

Tarquin has received a request from the Night Court for the High Lord, Rhysand, and his courtiers to visit the Summer Court, stating that he has information regarding a potential threat from Hybern. For a new High Lord without solid allies, this could be a good move… or one he could possibly regret for centuries to come.

Comments: TARQUIN! I don’t know if anyone else has done anything from his POV yet? Either way, I’ve loved this idea ever since it was requested by Emily on my Ao3, but actually figuring out what to do was hard. I knew it had to be the Summer Court, but how much? Would people actually be interested in this? So I am leaving it up to you, the readers, how far I take this. If you would like to see the rest of the Summer Court visit from his POV, I will continue it. Or if not, I’ll leave it as is. All you have do is let me know!

Either way, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. :) Thank you guys for the comments and kudos on Ao3, and the likes and reblogs here! I don’t tell you all enough how much I appreciate you guys <3

A big thanks (as always), to the best tumblr bestie in the whole wide world, @illyriantremors, who is always my biggest cheerleader and I appreciate more than I can say <3<3<3

—

“Absolutely not!” Cresseida snapped.

I let out a sigh of frustration and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Cresseida—”

“No! I will not allow you to let that traitorous whore and his court into Adriata. You owe him nothing.”

“We owe the Cursebreaker,” I argued, “and we do owe Rhysand our lives for not outing us as rebels when he clearly saw it!” This meeting had been going on for hours, and not for the first time, I wished I sat where Varian sat—a Captain and a Prince again, able to take off to sea at will, and not deciding whether we would meet with the man who had stood at the left hand of Amarantha.

Cresseida threw up her hands. “Why are we even having this meeting if you aren’t going to listen to a word we say?”

I sat back in my chair. “That’s what I would like to know, seeing as you are the one who wanted to have it in the first place.”

“Tarquin is right, sister,” Varian interjected. “We do owe the Cursebreaker. It is just our unfortunate luck that she is with the Night Court.”

“How do we know that isn’t just him manipulating her?” She turned to me. “You said yourself that he melted our courtier’s mind. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do it to her to—”

“Cresseida,” I said firmly. “They are coming tomorrow. I see no better way to test if Rhysand’s request for a meeting and possible alliance is genuine. If he does anything untoward to anyone while he’s here, we will have justice.” I let out a sigh. “We don’t have many options. The last fifty years have left us all trying to recover—”

“We can recover just fine without that monstrous court,” she said stubbornly.

“You weren’t there!” I snapped, my patience running thin. “You cannot possibly imagine what it was like to watch that, and know that all it would have taken for me to befall the same fate would have been one look from Rhysand. And the Cursebreaker’s title speaks for itself. If you will not play nice for another High Lord, at least try not to embarrass us in front of the one who saved us all.” I was probably being too harsh, but Cresseida had the decency to look embarrassed nonetheless. Varian cleared his throat.

“While it is true we weren’t there, Rhysand’s reputation still stands. Are you sure this is a wise move?”

No. I wasn’t sure of anything. That’s why I’d appointed my siblings as my advisors—to keep me from making ignorant moves. But somehow, I still ended up reining them in sometimes. It was a vicious cycle.

As if she’d sensed my thoughts, Cresseida asked nonchalantly, “I wonder if Tamlin is aware how close she will be to his lands.”

“Cresseida,” I warned. The last thing we needed was to be the ones instigating a war between Spring and Night. For all that one or the other might consider us allies depending on who we helped, I couldn’t get rid of the nagging animosity I felt for our southern neighbor. It was Tamlin’s inaction that made it so we had to rebel. It was our own mistakes that got us caught, but had there been some kind of effort for the remaining courts to go against her…

But that was in the past. We now had the freedom and the luxury to ponder the what-ifs, and right now, we had the chance to gain an ally of one of the most powerful courts in Prythian.

“I’m simply saying we don’t know that Rhysand didn’t kidnap her,” Cresseida continued, clearly having taken my silence as an opportunity to try to convince me. “Tamlin has been beside himself, if the rumors are to be believed. I somehow doubt after all she went through to free him that she would suddenly just abandon him.”

“Why are you paying any mind to rumors from the Spring Court?” I asked, my irritation growing.

“I simply do not want to be caught off guard if we are asked about her.”

It was Varian who answered this time. “Cresseida, do not go courting trouble.”

I let out a sigh and slumped in my chair as the conversation, and thus the bickering, started all over again.

The day passed by rather quickly, turning into the hour of their arrival before I knew it. I now waited with my siblings at the entryway to the palace for our guests, who would be here any moment. There was a nice sea breeze, but there was no denying it was a warm day, even for Adriata. I wondered how long we would be standing here waiting. My only real interactions with Rhysand had thankfully been from a distance Under the Mountain, but this meant I didn’t really know what to expect from him when it came to punctuality.

And speak of the devil himself, there they were.

Rhysand winnowed into sight, standing between two women, each with a hand in his. A short, raven haired woman dressed in grey, and the other—

The last time I’d seen this woman, she’d been a mortal whose neck had been snapped by Amarantha for daring to challenge her and winning. She’d been resurrected, Made into a High Fae. The Cursebreaker herself. She snatched her hand away from the High Lord, a scowl on her face.

“Welcome to Adriata,” I said, eyeing my guests.

“Good to see you again, Tarquin,” Rhysand drawled. He looked almost exactly as I remembered him, down to his midnight black outfit. The only difference was the tan that now colored his skin, and the considerable power I could feel in the air around him. He could hide his power well, but for another High Lord… it was still clearly there. I began to wonder if I had made a bigger mistake than I’d realized, letting him into my court.

But he could have outed me Under the Mountain. He could have had my entire court wiped out with merely a word, tortured… and he didn’t. And despite all the alarm bells ringing in my head, I chose in that moment to give him a chance.

He gestured to the tiny woman next to him, inspecting her sharp looking nails. “Amren, I think you know. Though you haven’t met her since your… promotion.”

I gave her a small nod. One would be remiss to forget the unnerving, silver eyed woman that I now remembered was Rhysand’s Second. He wasn’t fooling around. “Welcome back to the city, lady.” She didn’t nod, or bow, or so much as curtsy. She looked me over appraisingly, as though she were eyeing her next meal.

“At least you are far more handsome than your cousin. He was an eyesore.” Her red lips stretched wide as her gaze shifted behind me. “Condolences, of course.” I wasn’t quite sure how to answer this… could it be considered a compliment? The Night Court clearly had a different way of interacting than we did in Summer. I could only imagine the look Cresseida was giving them right now.

Rhysand gestured to the Cursebreaker. “I don’t believe you two were ever formally introduced Under the Mountain. Tarquin, Feyre. Feyre, Tarquin.” A very informal formal introduction. But even though I’d hardly spoken to her before this, really only thanking her for saving us, there was still something so familiar feeling about her. I fixed my gaze on her, keeping the political mask that Varian and Cresseida insisted I needed to use with them in place. Her expression was the same, though I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cresseida might not have been entirely wrong about Rhysand controlling her.

Dressed in a flowing lilac and pearl dress, and her brassy hair in curls, Feyre was clearly prepared for our court’s weather and looked like she would fit right in. However, there were hints of the Night Court in her dress—night blooming flowers, specifically. Subtle enough to be overlooked, but still spoke volumes. I couldn’t help but letting my gaze wander to the plunging neckline of her gown, accentuating her figure attractively.

Rhysand had clearly noticed. “Her breasts are rather spectacular, aren’t they? Delicious as ripe apples.”

I didn’t like the possessive tone that was lightly woven into that statement, but wondered if that was his way of letting me know hands off.

Feyre slid her gaze to him, keeping her face neutral. “Here I was, thinking you had a fascination with my mouth.” The look of surprised delight that crossed his face made me rethink my suspicion, but I still remained wary.

“You have a tale to tell, it seems,” I said finally.

“We have many tales to tell,” Rhysand said, jerking his head towards the glass doors behind me. “So why not get comfortable.”

“We have refreshments prepared,” Cresseida said. I suddenly realized I had never introduced my Court. An amateur’s mistake. I placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Cresseida—Princess of Adriata,” I said, trying to correct my mistake. Cresseida took a step forward.

“A pleasure,” she murmured. “And an honor.”

Feyre shrugged in an almost perfect imitation of Rhysand. “The honor is mine, princess.”

I hastily introduced the rest of our courtiers and Varian, in hopes of moving us along, though Varian kept his eyes fixed wholly on Rhysand’s Second, his stance wary at best and hostile at worst. The small woman returned his glare with a smile of feral delight. Thankfully, it didn’t progress any further, and soon we were walking into the palace. Rhysand walked next to me, his companions falling into step behind him.

“Nynsar approaches soon,” Rhysand said suddenly. “Have you decided what flowers you’re going to decorate with?” It was such an odd question, and so… normal. His letter had been more urgent of a request, stating that he had information regarding a potential uprising from Hybern. While I would never allow them to dock in my port after Amarantha, it never hurt to be prepared in the event they tried to force my hand.

“I haven’t really thought about it yet,” I said carefully, not sure where he was going with this. “I imagine Cresseida has some ideas, though I’m sure there will at least be some hibiscus and water lilies. And you?”

“Jasmine,” he said matter of factly. “Maybe something else, but for us, the real show will be in the sky, so not many will be caring about the flowers around them.” Indeed, I’d heard the stories of Nynsar in the Night Court—Starfall, they called it. It was supposed to be one of the most beautiful sights in Prythian. Our conversation died off, neither of us really knowing what to talk about. It was hard to converse when the last time you had seen each other, you had been reveling in the freedom you’d been denied for half a century. I looked behind me. The group followed us, with my siblings bringing up the rear. Feyre wasn’t far from Rhysand or Amren, but seemed… distracted.

“We have four main cities in my territory,” I said to her over my shoulder, trying to be a good host. It was her first visit here after all. “We spend the last month of winter and first spring months in Adriata—it’s finest at this time of year.”

She nodded. “It’s very beautiful.” Her tone was sincere as far as I could tell, but I couldn’t help staring at her. That… something… it was still there. I couldn’t place what it was, and I was sure before this visit was over, I’d either ask her or go insane.

“The repairs have been going well, I take it,” Rhysand said suddenly, hauling my attention back to him.

“Mostly,” I admitted. “There remains much to be done. The back half of the castle is a wreck. But, as you can see, we’ve finished most of the inside. We focused on the city first—and those repairs are ongoing.”

“I hope no valuables were lost due its occupation,” he said. Another odd question, but from the expression on his face, it seemed innocent.

“Not the most important things, thank the Mother,” I said honestly. I could feel the eyes of my advisors on me, each one digging into my back. As they peeled away, making excuses to go do other duties, I wondered if I had done something wrong. But now was not the time to worry about that. I smiled at them as best I could, and led our guests into the dining room. Feyre walked right past the table, as though she hadn’t even seen it, and stood at the windows that overlooked to the bay and the sea that lay beyond. “This is my favorite view,” I said to her, seeing the awe on her face as I moved to stand next to her. I looked out at the water again. It really was—it was one of the first places I went to see when we returned to the palace after starting the rebuilding effort in the city, and it would likely be my last stop when we left for the season.

“You must be very proud,” she said, “to have such stunning lands.”

I slid my gaze over to hers. “How do they compare to the ones you have seen?”

“Everything in Prythian is lovely, when compared to the mortal realm,” she said dully—a diplomatic answer.

“And is being immortal lovelier than being human?” I asked.

She turned to me and looked at me up and down, brazenly and without a shred of politeness said, “You tell me.”

Any worries I’d had that her mind was being controlled by Rhysand were gone. This was the fire I’d seen in the mortal woman Under the Mountain. No one could replicate that so flawlessly, not even Rhysand. I smiled genuinely at her. “You are a pearl. Though I knew that the day you threw that bone at Amarantha and splattered mud on her favorite dress.”

“I do not remember you being quite so handsome Under the Mountain. The sunlight and sea suit you,” she said flirtatiously. If this had been anyone else, I’d probably have been embarrassed by the comment, even flattered. But this was the woman who had been a part of two other courts in the span of a year, and the favorite of both of their High Lords.

“How, exactly, do you fit in within Rhysand’s court?” I asked baldly. If she could be frank, then so would I. It was so much more honest, and a better way to negotiate.

She looked uncertain of her answer, but before I could press further, Rhysand’s voice rang out from the table, as if he’d heard every word—somehow I didn’t doubt he had. “Feyre is a member of my Inner Circle. And is my Emissary to the Mortal Lands.”

Cresseida, seated beside him, asked, “Do you have much contact with the mortal realm?” Feyre took this opportunity Cresseida had unwittingly given her, and moved to the table to sit next to Rhysand’s Second, away from me and directly across from Rhysand.

Rhysand sniffed at his wine, to the clear chagrin of Cresseida. “I prefer to be prepared for every potential situation. And given that Hybern seems set on making themselves a nuisance, striking up a conversation with the humans might be in our best interest.”

Varian drew his focus away from Rhysand’s Second. “So it’s been confirmed?” he asked roughly. “Hybern is readying for war.”

“They’re done readying,” Rhysand drawled, sipping his wine. “War is imminent.”

“Yes, you mentioned that in your letter,” I said, finally taking my seat at the head of the table between Rhysand and his Second. “And you know against Hybern, we will fight. We lost enough good people Under the Mountain. I have no interest in being slaves again. But if you are here to ask me to fight in another war, Rhysand—”

“That is not a possibility,” he interrupted smoothly, “and had not even entered my mind.” Though I doubted that, I was glad that he seemed to understand my warning.

“High Lords have gone to war for less you know,” Cresseida crooned from her seat. I looked at her and saw her gaze was focused on Feyre. “Doing it over such an unusual female would be nothing unexpected.”

“Try not to look so excited, princess,” Feyre said flatly. “The High Lord of Spring has no plans to go to war with the Night Court.”

“Are you in contact with Tamlin, then?” My sister’s saccharine smile was borderline feral. She was playing with fire, but she didn’t seem to care.

“There are things that are public knowledge, and things that are not,” Feyre said quietly, measured—a voice that didn’t demand attention, but you couldn’t help but be drawn in. “My relationship with him is well known. Its current standing, however, is none of your concern. Or anyone else’s. But I do know Tamlin, and I know that there will be no internal war between courts—at least not over me, or my decisions.”

“What a relief, then,” Cresseida said, sipping her white wine and cracking a crab claw open. “To know we are not harboring a stolen bride—and that we need not bother returning her to her master, as the law demands. And as any wise person might do, to keep trouble from their doorstep.” I knew that last part was for me, though I could feel Rhysand Second still next to me, recognizing my sister’s threat.

“I left of my own free will,” Feyre answered, clearly unhappy with the direction of this conversation. “And no one is my master.”

My sister shrugged. “Think that all you want, lady, but the law is the law. You are—were his bride. Swearing fealty to another High Lord does not change that. So it is a very good thing that he respects your decisions. Otherwise, all it would take would be one letter from him to Tarquin, requesting your return, and we would have to obey. Or risk war ourselves.”

Rhysand sighed. “You are always a joy, Cresseida.”

“Careful, High Lord,” Varian warned. “My sister speaks the truth.”

I laid a hand on the table, my siblings antics finally too much for me to ignore. “Rhysand is our guest—his courtiers are our guests. And we will treat them as such.” I decided to throw a reminder of my own to her. “We will treat them, Cresseida, as we treat people who saved our necks when all it would have taken was one word from them for us to be very, very dead.” I studied Rhysand and Feyre. While Rhysand’s expression was completely disinterested, Feyre’s eyes betrayed how bothered by my sister’s comments she’d been, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. She’d been thrown into our world simply because she’d fulfilled the criteria to save us, and now was one of us. I wondered how that had affected her since her Making. I shook my head—these were thoughts for another time. I turned to Rhysand. “We have more to discuss later, you and I. Tonight, I’m throwing a party for you all on my pleasure barge in the bay. After that, you are free to roam in this city wherever you wish. You will forgive its princess if she is protective of her people. Rebuilding these months has been long and hard. We do not wish to do it again any time soon.”

I turned to Feyre. “Cresseida made many sacrifices on behalf of her people,” I offered gently. “Do not take her caution personally.”

“We all made sacrifices,” Rhysand said suddenly, his voice razor-sharp and icy. “And you now sit at this table with your family because of the ones Feyre made. So you will forgive me, Tarquin, if I tell your princess that if she sends word to Tamlin, or if any of your people try to bring her to him, their lives will be forfeit.”

Even the sea breeze died. This was the man who led the Court of Nightmares. Who could—and did—kill in Amarantha’s name for fifty years.

“Do not threaten me in my own home, Rhysand,” I warned, though my bravado was on shaky ground. “My gratitude only goes so far.”

“It’s not a threat,” he countered, the crab claws on his plate cracking open all at once, the meat practically exploding out of the shells—under his power. “It’s a promise.”

I turned towards Feyre, to see how she would respond to such a… protective statement. Especially for one who said she had no master.

Feyre merely looked at all of us and raised her glass as if in a toast. She held my gaze the longest. “No wonder immortality never gets dull.”

The charged air crackling about the table dissipated almost instantly, and I chuckled.

This was going to be a very interesting visit.

#Wave Upon the Sand #my fic #acomaf fanfiction #Tarquin #acomaf #The Summer Court #ACOMAF Chapter 32 #kitashiwrites

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airadam · 4 years

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Episode 132 : All Love

"They don't never see the work, only results of it."

- Rapper Big Pooh

Another month inside, and one that has been tinged with sadness; we say Rest In Power to Ty, Andre Harrell, and the soul legend Betty Wright. The month's selection starts with a favourite of mine from Ty's catalogue, and though the styles change, we keep a steady pace all the way through - I know some of you are running to try and stay in shape during this time, so I hope it helps!

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Ty ft. Kwadjo and Michelle Escoffery : Ha Ha

"Feeling like my left toe's equal to Pele" - always loved that line, I think it's the delivery! We start off with a track from Ty's second studio album ("Upwards"), which was also on the B-side of the "Groovement" 12". From the off, he was an artist who never pretended to be anything other than who he was and represented his life with skill and humour, which is well-demonstrated here! The beat is kind of staccato, with no hi-hat between drum beats and the synth bass stabbing in hard. Wicked tune from one of our greats who will be sadly missed.

[Dante Ross] Casual : Turf Dirt (Instrumental)

The 2001 "VIP" single was dope, but the headline track was definitely an example of an artist trying to step into the unfamiliar sonic territory of the club lane! "Turf Dirt" was the last track of three, and the B-side has instrumentals of everything - in this case, Dante Ross with a stomper.

J-Live : Harder

I'd almost forgotten about this one until it turned up as part of the vinyl digitisation project! A 2005 single release from "The Hear After", this is a loud and proud statement of intent from one of the hardest-working artists in the business. The beat is courtesy of the five-headed production team "The Fire Dept", who also did some work for GZA the same year and have also performed as his live band.

Conway the Machine : Be Proud Of Me

Buffalo's Conway is an artist who knows of the life that he speaks, and this is a really personal track. He's clawed his way up to a career as a respected MC, but as you can hear, not everyone with him was really with him as he tried to make it. Khrysis is on production, giving this real-life story an appropriately downbeat backing, on the penultimate cut on "EIF 2 : Eat What U Kill".

Big Twan ft. Big Kwam : The Hellgate Rebel

This track has some of my favourite scratches on a rap record of all time, with Tony Vegas of the Scratch Perverts flaring out in an ill fashion! The deep listeners might know Big Twan from his debut professional appearance, a verse on Big L's "8 Iz Enuff", but the "One Time 4 The Lyricist" 12" is his sole vinyl release as a soloist. The main track is heavy, and having this on there as well makes the vinyl a great addition to your library. It's a meeting of the Bigs, with Twan sharing mic time with the UK MC Big Kwam over a killer beat from The Creators - the horns and bass might be the drivers, but check the plucked guitar-type sounds all over the verses too.

Genaside II ft. Eek-A-Mouse : Just As Rough

The UK's Genaside II were a really unique crew who had Hip-Hop, rave, jungle, and more in their stylistic blend. In various combinations and configurations since the 90s, they've been a low-key influence on quite a few big names, despite being unknown to many! This track is from their debut "New Life 4 The Hunted", and features the legendary reggae artist Eek-A-Mouse on vocals, telling a story of a hard life on the streets. If you've got the ear for something a bit different - especially if you like D&B or breakbeat - then the album is well worth picking up if you see it.

Blue Stone : Lost Sun

This is probably a bit "New Age"-y and ambient for some if heard in isolation, but I think it fits well here! It's got a little bit of a north African/Arab vibe to the drums at the start, and builds up from a gentle start to a thundering peak before easing back down. It's one of the many well-produced tracks on the 2007 "Worlds Apart" LP.

The Mouse Outfit ft. One Only : Sunrise

Brand new single, and perfect for the season! An all-Manchester affair with One Only showing versatility on the mic, and Chini and Metrodome taking the production reins. A welcome return, no doubt.

Pitch 92 ft. Tyler Daley : Confused

Chilled again, Manchester again, this time from the "3rd Culture" album from last year. Pitch 92 showed the talent from early in his career, and the release of his producer project was great to see. If you're looking for top-shelf local mic expertise, Tyler Daley should be one of the first names on the list, and you get him switching effortlessly between the bars many don't recognise him for and the singing voice that they do.

Black Star ft. Black Thought : Respiration (Pete Rock Remix)

No doubt, the original "Respiration" from the "Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star" LP is a great track. But how do you make it better? First off, bring in Black Thought, one of those who could be described as "your favourite MC's favourite MC". That kicks things up a notch. Not enough? Ok, why not bring Pete Rock in to remix it? This should be illegal. Brilliant re-working of the 1998 classic, which I'm pulling from the "4 Pete Sake" (bootleg?) remix compilation, but which is also on the B-side of the main single.

Camp Lo : Life I Love

I absolutely loved the "Ragtime Hightimes" album, and while there are many tracks that are more of an immediate sonic hit, this one is a quiet killer. This is a group who need to be called in to score a heist movie, as they drop slang-heavy, super-dense rhymes about a glamourised crime life all over a Ski beat that's as cool as the other side of the pillow.

[Prince Kaysaan] Royal Flush : Can't Help It (Instrumental)

Kaysaan's run may "only" have been a few releases between 1997 and 1998, but he forever gets props for this one from "Ghetto Millionaire" alone. The combo of an 80s R&B sample with the filter coming in and out together with crispy jazz-sourced drums made this a late 90s winner that I'm happy to throw on a mixtape anytime.

Kris Kross ft. Da Brat, Aaliyah, Jermaine Dupri, and Mr Black: Live and Die for Hip-Hop (DJ Clark Kent Mix)

RIP Chris Kelly, gone seven years as of this month. Most people don't even realise that Kris Kross continued to record after their "Jump" and "I Missed The Bus" days, but they did indeed, and this is a remix of a track from their third and final album, 1996's "Young, Rich, & Dangerous". Laid back, cooled out, but in a different and even better-done fashion to the LP version - that bass flavour is definitely working.

Little Brother : Work Through Me

The return of Little Brother last year was much-welcomed by those who've been with them since the beginning, and they are standouts when it comes to bringing the changes in their lives into the music. This is a track about not just their own music career, but getting up every day and doing your best - which is pretty appropriate right now. Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh have continued to improve with age, and while 9th Wonder didn't join them this time, Focus and BlaaqGold slay this bumping and soulful beat.

Reks : Due Diligence

The "Revolution Cocktail" album by Reks seems to have all but disappeared - you won't find it on Spotify, and I can't find it on Amazon or other download sites either. It's a shame, as I think he had some high-quality tracks on there. I don't have a producer credit for this, but the beat was what drew me in first. You can almost hear Reks warming up on the first few bars before he hits his stride and brings it home. The Massachusetts native is incredibly slept on, even after twelve albums - but I appreciate the grind.

Boyz II Men ft. Erick Sermon, Redman, Keith Murray, and 2 Ta Da Head : Vibin' (Kenny Smoove Remix)

As @DragonflyJonez recently suggested, you might not be able to think of any gatherings where it was demanded that Boyz II Men be put on, but this might be an exception! Kenny Smoove was part of the Untouchables collective that also included Eddie F, Dave "Jam" Hall, and one Pete Rock, and he did his thing on this remix. Granted, I'm not exactly Mr R&B, but this slaughters the original, not least because he brings in heavy artillery - the whole Def Squad, headed up by Erick Sermon. There's a whole 12" of remixes that this is drawn from, should you want to hear some alternative takes!

Ilajide : Mothership Connection 1-2

Detroit in the house, with the trademark bump of Clear Soul Forces' Ilajide, from his killer 2015 "Latex" LP.

Bronx Slang : Excuse Me Officer

We close with a great track from 2019's debut LP from the link up of Jerry Beeks and Ollie Miggs - Bronx Slang. If you're very eagle-eared, you'll recognise a couple of these bars from the track I did with Jerry Beeks ("I'm A Cop"), which is on episode 86 of the podcast! Sadly, as this topic continues to be relevant, new names enter the roll of the fallen, and Beeks expands still further on police violence.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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psychicwolftraveler-blog · 6 years

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Bipolar and the stigma

Bipolar and the stigma against mental illness

When people hear mental illness they tend to shudder with fear and smugness as if there better than anyone who suffers from something. When people hear Bipolar they run a mile! Some may say I am exaggerating but I am not. Iv seen it first hand. I myself suffer from Bipolar Type 2. Now i emphasise the type as thats important. When people hear Bipolar they think of manic, mania, psychosis, hyper, unhinged...the list goes on. But I am none of those things. Type 2 sufferers tend to have long bouts of low periods and very intense anxiety, in all honesty the anxiety can manifest into paranoia-so there is an element of psychosis but nowhere near as much as a Type 1 sufferer.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 27 going on 28. Prior to this, Id only ever had one other breakdown and that was 10 years before hand in my late teens. I had always suffered from some form of anxiety but i had always managed to control it. My job as a manager kept me mentally busy and challanged and i thrived on stress, in fact in one interview i even said i loved it! but in the end it was stress that broke me down, and now sadly that aspect off any job i do in the future will be a no no for me! But since my diagnosis iv noticed a wave of stigma attached to mental health. People are geniunly scared of it! There scared of what it means and what it can do. they dont realise the effects that can have on the person suffering!

I myself have never told any of my employers about my illness for this reason, because a lack of understanding on their part can make them nieve, and regardless of how qualified I am I wont be fit enough for the job because my brain ever so slightly works in a diffrent way to others! I know my triggers and I can control it to a point...the only thing that stops me having control is pregnanacy, because adding those hormones to an already altered mind makes for very confusing times! I spend weeks indoors not talking to anybody or seeing the outside world-but its all for the greater good, and though i can turn into a hormonal nightmare when pregnant, having a baby is a blessing and ill take all the bad that comes with it!

I recently wrote an open letter on twitter to many celebrity ambassadors for mental health, including the young royals- below is the letter i wrote:

I am writing to you today as I have been reading about all your work that you are doing surrounding mental health namely the stigma surrounding it. I am writing to you in a capacity of desperation to get my voice heard. You both are the voice that can speak for the millions so I figured it was worth a shot so here goes. Let me give you a background on myself. I am 31 and am a freelance journalist/poet and a manager within the NHS. I has my first mental breakdown when I was 16 at the time people thought it was a mixture of hormones and family factors, none the less I had to leave 6th form and was medicated for a few years. When that fog lifted I returned to college and went onto university to study new media journalism. To support myself I had to work in the post room within a NHS trust. I worked my way up that corporate ladder very quickly and after graduating kept the journalistic side to freelance and continued to work my way up in the NHS, iv worked in A&E as admin manager, iv worked as unit managers for CNWL's Addiction services, and even ended up managing the admin team at the same unit that treated me when I was 16 within west London mental health trust, which was ironic really but also showed how far I had come and accomplished! The same doctor that treated me still worked there too! I went from being her patient 10 years before to drinking with her in a pub at 26 a fully fledged cured adult who managed the admin team including her secretary! The signifance of me telling this will become apparent soon.... In november 2014 I suffered a severe break down and voluntarily went into a low secure mental health unit just to rest and get the treatment I needed! Again it was west London mental health I was treated by, but this time I had two perspectives, one the patient and two the employee! The same doctors and nurse I had been drinking in a pub with 2 years before now saw me as a patient, some wouldn't even say hello. The only people to acknowledge me were the patiebts who rembered me from the services they attended, but now i was one of them. This was my first experience of the stigma of mental health, I was no good anymore I was just another patient. It was at this point I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2, I would like to emphasize the type 2 as that's another stigma I get. The difference between type 1 and 2 is vast, there is no mania with my type and more anxiety and depression. It was a hard diagnosis but it hadn't come from nowhere I had it since 16! It made sense all the times I'd have down patches I just put down to environmental factors, a bad relationship, argument with friends, stress at work etc... I just thought it was what the doctors had said when I was 16..hormones and family factors, but it wasn't it was bipolar.. So the entire time I had been working I had bipolar and nobody had known, not me, not my colleagues not even the doctor who treated me at 16 and drank with me on Friday night and now wouldn't even say hello to me after seeing me in hospital! Stigma is stigma and even employees and doctors have them. Knowing that keeping busy controlled it and stress made it worse I went straight back to work in a brand new job at the RNOH in stanmore in January 2015!! I took a step back and went in as a EA to the hospitals operations director....not an easy job but less stressful than managing things myself but it wasn't long before I got the urge to take the reins once more and within 9 months I was unit manager of paediatrics at the same hospital! Again nobody knew until I fell pregnant in March 2016, I was not on any medication apart from calming pills to stop my anxiety flaring up but I stopped all these when I found out. I had my first and only encounter with perinatel who are a great team and service, unfortunately I miscarried at 20 weeks, and within 3 days I was discharged from the perinatal service and was on my own. The pregnancy hormones and lack of medication had made Me very edgy and anxious more so than I had ever been, then losing the baby caused more emotions which were hard to deal with. I had to finish at my job in the June of 2016 as the stress and the commute were making me sick again and being pregnant I had to make that my priority not my career. It was the first time I hadn't worked since I was 18 and being at home made my illness worse. None the less me and my partner tried again and I fell pregnant in may 2017 but again lost it at 6 weeks. This sent me into a downward spiral and I had to make a decision to try again or go back to work but we tried again and here I am 11 weeks pregnant and everything thus far going well and being monitored everything but my mental health. Iv had no further contact from a perinatel team and am on no medication. When I do see my midwife my mental health always gets used as a weapon. Iv been told I must have a cesarean for my own health but I also must have meeting regarding mental health to see if I could cope with a baby and what my support network is. That is what has pushed me to write to you both.... The stigma. Just because I have a diagnosis does not mean I am not capable or of sound mind! I went 12 years with nobody none the wiser not even the doctor who had originally treated me at 16, but now they can name my problem I'm not a worthy and am treated a second class citezen. People Dont talk about mental health because of this reason, and things need to change. If I had another invisible illness like epilepsy would I have the same stigma... Probably not. With my corporate mindset I ask you, when you work with mental health issues, departmentalise each issue.... Suicide, depression, psychosis, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorders . within each of these things there is a stigma and within each of those boxes is a person like me who can control, hide and survive through my issues everyday with nobody knowing, working in high level jobs too scared to say anything because when I do I become somebody everybody is scared of abd treat differently just because I'm labeled with a mental illness and as the voice of the many I do hope the work you all do goes someway to helping the case I have put to you today because this is an issue that needs changing and changing fast.I have enclosed copy's of 2 poems I have written about mental health which are also published online, I look forward to your response Yours faithfully

Needless to say I never got any replys-which made me more determined to start a blog, to have my voice and get it heard!!

Iv recently read in the news today that they believe the grand old president of the USA, Mr Donald J Trump is apparently suffering from a mental illness-which could in effect cost him his job! According to the BBC, experts believe he is suffering from narcassistic personality disorder- now hes the kind of person that gives people with genuine mental illness a bad name! He's not mentally ill, hes an egotistic old man who is too twitter happy and obscessed with big red buttons. Everything he says is pathetic and he cant be taken seriously, the way the USA can justify thier horrific mistake of electing such a gorrilla is to brush it off with, "we didnt realise he was mentaly ill"!! cop out if you ask me!!! Just take his tweets with Mr Kim Jung un- iv seen 3 year olds in nurserys have better arguments than that!! Thats not a mental illness its a child in a 70 somethings body!! Hes the human real life version of Tom Hanks's character in Big, just not as nice or as clever or as entertaining!! I defenitly wouldnt want to play the big piano with him in a toy store-god forbid you were better than him- you'd be banned from America and called a loser on twitter before being handed a shovel and some bricks to go and build his mexican wall!

My point is, mental illness is a stigma and when its used to describe somebody like Donald Trump its no wonder people get scared!! We should be allowed to talk about it more freely and openly without the fear of being judged-but if that will change who will know...Until then all we can do is live on and fight the big fight that is mental illness which ever one it may be..... we'll talk more on this subject... but until then take care...

The typist behind the screen xxx

www.gogsworld.net

#blogger #bipolar #stigma #donald trump #strong

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