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quillsanddaydreams · 3 years

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false promises

sirius black x reader

—author’s note: this idea was something that came to me before writing a paper and it just struck with me since. Sirius and you have a long history you can never get over. What happens when you finally get an opportunity to leave it all behind?

—warning(s): breakup and angst. gender neutral!reader (pronouns aren’t used).

—word count: 1,702

The sky was quickly turning black as you watched the streets the bus passed through. Today had been a whirlwind of emotions you weren’t sure you could contain. You had looked through old photographs, happy faces smiling back at you. They seem to make you feel worse, although you knew you had to do what you had planned for the day. Rip the band aid. Taking a deep breath, you stepped out and walked into the restaurant.

Your gaze immediately went over to him, his smile lighting up the room. Sirius. No other name could do him justice. James had an arm around him, enthusiastically telling the company something. Remus noticed you first. He gave a huge grin, waving at you. Forcing yourself to smile back at him, you made your way over to the table.

“Aha there you are!” James exclaimed, his eyes twinkling. “And here we thought you wouldn’t show up to a meeting you called.”

You rolled your eyes playfully while your heart constricted. Delaying worked only for so long. Sitting down beside Remus, you flipped open the menu avoiding everyone’s eyes. Especially the grey ones. He could always read you like an open book.

“So, did you all find anything interesting?” you said, scanning the menu like you had done a hundred times before. The group hummed in response.

Calling in the waitress, you gave your orders. You wondered whether any of them would continue some small talk, holding a glass of water to your lips. How were you even supposed to tell them? Sirius nudged you with his feet, making you look up at him. He raised his eyebrows wordlessly questioning you whether you were alright. Nodding carefully, you tried your best to hold your emotions in. Quiet followed, you could hear the cutlery being kept and people around your table chatting. It was as if everyone was anticipating a shoe to drop. Black spoke first.

“I know you like treating us and all,” he started as others leaned in. “But what’s the occasion for today? You’ve been so secretive about it; you didn’t even tell me.”

Your throat felt dry even though you just had some water. All of a sudden you felt as if you were exposed. Mulling over your next words, you pushed your nails into the palm of your hand. A habit you picked up as a child.

“I got a huge job offer, more of a promotion to be honest,” you began, watching their reactions. “The salary is quite something and the experience would step me up to a much higher position.”

“Whoa, that is so amazing” James said with widened eyes, cutting you off. Remus nodded along.

“And the way you were acting, we were afraid you were going to deliver a death sentence or something.”

“That is so great, congratulations!”

“It’s in Japan,” you whispered but no one seemed to hear you.

“You’ve been working so hard everyday—“

“We have to get ice-cream later!”

“It’s in japan!” you shouted, making the table fall silent again. Remus bit his lip, searching your face as Sirius just stared.

“It’s a five-year program,” you continued. “I talked to my boss and she told me this was a brilliant opportunity and that I should definitely pack up my bags.”

“You seriously aren’t considering to take up on that, are you?” James asked. Your jaw felt heavy. The silence must have been an enough answer, because no one dared to speak. Remus cleared his throat.

“Is this what you want?” he hushed as you felt tears prick your eyes. It wasn’t what you wanted; it was what you needed. You sneaked a glance at Sirius, who was still looking at you, dumbfounded.

You nodded slowly. James fidgeted.

“So this is your way of saying goodbye?” James remarked, a tad bit agitatedly.

“James—”

“Don’t James me!” he said, narrowing his eyes at you. “You’re talented. I know that, you know that. You can do without this program. And it’s in Japan for goodness’ sake! It’s miles away. Miles! Going there for five whole years means not looking back.”

“There are ways to communicate,” you said, your voice small. Even you didn’t believe that. James sat back, his arms folded.

“I hate you so much right now,” Remus said, picking at his napkin. You put your hand over his, squeezing slightly. He sighed. Sirius got up all of a sudden. You flinched. He turned to the group giving a random excuse about some work and left the table. Looking down at your hands, you heard the restaurant door close with a thud. Tears fell down your cheeks and you furiously wiped them off.

The rest of the dinner went in a strange calm. It was obvious to both James and Remus that you were just as much hurt as them. James gave you a small smile and helped brighten the mood at the table. Remus reassured you ever so often. You were grateful.

-♡♡♡-

Sirius didn’t contact you after that night. He was angry. Angry at you, angry for what you planned for yourself. It hurt you, more than you could care to admit. This playing around on your tip toes had been going for far too long. You knew your breakup with Sirius had been mutual, for both your goods but you didn’t have it in you to sit back and watch him fall into arms of people that weren’t you. Not anymore. Not when you still loved him. And you knew Sirius did too, it was how he still went out of his way to make you smile, how he loathed every single person you dated after him unable to realise that none of them could compare to him. None of them could compare to how he made you feel.

It left you to wonder at times whether the breakup was really the right decision. You reminded yourself that it was whenever the thought came up. Both of you wanted different things. Sirius never wanted to settle down and you did. After months of fighting and waiting for the other to give in to the other or come to a compromise, you realised it wasn’t going to work. You sighed. What were you doing reminiscing either way?

You checked all your bags and papers before putting on the coat ready to face the inevitable. Driving to the edge of the lake, you stopped and walked into the old abandoned warehouse. The grey walls didn’t seem haunting anymore, but inviting like an old friend. You smiled seeing a similar figure standing over the old table watching the ceiling.

“How did you find me?” he whispered, not sparing you a glance.

“I just felt the stench of complete and utter disappointment in me and followed it,” you jested but sobered seeing the look on Sirius’s face. You moved towards him slowly, gently placing a hand on his cheek cradling his face.

“Hey,” you whispered. He looked at you, his dark eyes making you lose yourself in them. “Don’t do this Sirius. You know I wouldn’t be able to leave you like this.”

“Then don’t leave,” he said simply. “I know you’re not doing it for yourself. You’re just running away.”

“You’re running away from me,” he hushed. You felt your mouth go dry. So he did know. There was no use beating about the bush, Sirius hated when people twisted up words.

“Well I am.”

“Why?”

“Why? You know why,” you pleaded. “Sirius I’ve been in love with you since I was a child. A child. We’ve been best friends all my life. Then we dated for five whole years. And now we don’t. I can’t be your ex and your friend simultaneously anymore, it’s been torture. Do you know how it feels knowing we’ll never be the same anymore? Just how much it hurts?”

“Do you think I feel good about it?” Sirius raised his voice, frustration from all those months pouring in. “Do you think I feel good about never being able to hold you close and see other men and women do it?”

“So maybe the job will do good to both of us,” you said after a beat.

“I did not say that—”

“Sirius—”

“No I didn’t. I’ll do anything for you. Give me another chance, just don’t go away,” Sirius said and you felt helpless. Sirius took your hands, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. Tears pricked your eyes. You could remember all the time you spent with him together. Riding his bike to the sunset, singing and dancing nonsensically to songs, him kissing you softly telling you he loved you. The memories flashed before your eyes like a film reel. You could barely see anything through the salty tears welling up.

“That wouldn’t do justice to either of us,” you said after some time, your voice barely audible. “Some things aren’t meant to be. We’ll fight again Sirius, we’ll be angry at each other and we’ll end up hating each other more every day. And I won’t be able to live with myself knowing I spoiled the best relationship I ever had.”

Sirius gulped, breaking into sobs.

“Damn you,” he croaked. “Damn you for going away. Damn you for making me lose you all over again. As if it wasn’t painful enough the first time.”

You laughed through snuffles and squeezed his hand.

“You’ll never lose me. You’ll never get rid of me even if you tried—” you stopped as Sirius crashed his lips into yours, kissing you urgently. You pulled him closer by his shirt, as one of his hands went at your waist and the other held your face. Pulling away in a daze you sniffed and Sirius buried his face in your neck hugging you. Time seemed to pass by as neither of you pulled away.

“I guess I really can’t make you stay, can I?” he said as you shook your head, wrapping your arms around his body. “I’ll miss you. And I’ll show up at your door myself if you don’t answer my letters. Promise me you’ll keep in touch.”

You pulled back, wiping his face with your fingers.

“I promise.”

—as for the taglist: I don’t make taglists, I have a blog @from-my-quill which is updated whenever I post fanfiction. You could have the notifications on for it and it will work just like me tagging you.

⟨⟨REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK ARE APPRECIATED⟩⟩

#sirius black #sirius #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius x you #sirius black x y/n #the marauders #james potter #remus lupin #from anu's quill

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lalahbug · 3 years

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Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 6

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender Word Count: 3,232 My Masterlist

Warnings/disclaim: General 18+ Angst

Author’s Note: under story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting.

Story under cut, 6 of 8, Guidance Masterlist

A few weeks had passed, ___ was healed and quickly became the new mother figure of the group. Teaching about survival, chi blocking, and helping with most of the chores. Of course, she also played with the group and lectured them like a mother as well.

___ and Aang were meditating together, during a sunrise, which Aang wasn’t too happy about after being up most of the night traveling. Aang peaked at her as she exhaled deeply, relaxing further, still keeping her posture.

“Staring at me isn’t going to help your mediating, Avatar.”

“You didn’t even open your eyes; how did you know?” He pouted but started meditating again.

“Your breathing went normal instead of trained.”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Hear so well, know when I’m doing something I’m not supposed to do.”

“I’ve had heightened senses for a long time. But as for knowing when you’re doing something, we’ll chalk it up to Mother Instinct.” She chuckled softly. “You’re really not in the mood to meditate, are you?”

“No!” Aang groaned before falling backward.

“Okay, practice your breathing with me for a bit then I’ll let you go.”

“Okay!” Aang agreed with a smile while sitting up.

Aang and Katara were practicing some waterbending, while ___ watched their movements.

“Why don’t you come join us? Aang could use the opportunity to fend off two waterbending foes.” Katara smiled and splashed some water at Aang.

“Thank you, but I don’t know many waterbending moves, I’d be an easy target. I can only whip water and create waves.”

“That’s right, being from the North Pole, they never taught you. But didn’t you learn on your own?”

“I only got the water whip and the wave, that’s all I learned on my own.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? We could have taught you.” Aang urged.

“I’ve never been a good waterbender, there’s no point in teaching me. I’m an average healer and I can do pretty movements with a full moon, but that’s it. My strength is chi blocking and fast reflexes.”

“Well, I think you could be a good waterbender. Why don’t you practice with us? You can learn some new moves and there is no pressure if you can’t do it well. Because like you said, your strength is chi blocking.” Katara urged, ___ shrugged before disrobing a bit, and getting into the water with the two masters.

One day before the invasion, The Day of Black Sun, and Aang wasn’t able to sleep. ___ was up with him, just after sunset.

“You can’t stay awake before the invasion. You need to be rested. But I think if you’re alone, it’ll be worse. So, would you like to go over the chakras to help you with the Avatar State?”

“I think I know them; I just can’t do the last one.”

“Ah, you mean the Thought Chakra? Is it because of Katara?”

Aang blushed a bit before sighing. “Yes, but also, I don’t know how to let go of Earthly attachments when I have to protect them.”

“The Avatar is bound to this earth to protect it. You must learn to balance these or they will be your downfall. You let Katara go completely at Ba Sing Se, you were then attached to cosmic, too attached to cosmic energy. As the Avatar, you must find balance with your cosmic energy and your Earthly attachments. You can open the Thought Chakra, by learning to balance your attachments. Earthly, Avatar, cosmic, love, spirit, and even your nomad teachings.”

“What about my nomad teachings?”

“There will be a day where you might have to sacrifice your beliefs for the greater good, to keep balance in the world. But because of your teachings, I know you’ll find a way to balance the good with your morals.”

“You’re talking about the Fire Lord, aren’t you?” Aang curled up and placed his weary head on his knees.

___ smiled at him gently, examining the bags under his eyes. “You can face him, you can beat him, we all believe in you, especially as he is powerless during the eclipse. But, what if, you can’t get to him in time. Don’t get me wrong, Sokka’s plan is amazing. Things don’t always go as planned. If you can’t get to him in time, you will have to fight him someday. How will you restrain him? Or will you have to take his life? I worry about the outcome of this plan a lot. From my talks with Roku to how devious the Fire Nation is. I just hope you know, if this fails. It’s not your fault. There will be some other factor that makes it so you can’t get to him in time. I have no doubt about you facing him, just our timing.”

“It’s terrifying to even think of facing Ozai, but hearing the faith you have in me helps. Hearing that you don’t expect me to defeat him tomorrow, really helps. But your question haunts me. How will I restrain him?”

She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I believe in you Aang, the world does. But in the end, you are just one kid, and you will need to listen to words of wisdom from your past lives. From ancient sources, and learn to bend life and energy itself if you are to defeat Ozai without taking his life.”

“Bend life and energy? How do I do that?”

“I’m not sure, I only read about it in the spirit library. You will have to hope that an ancient source shows you.”

“Well, with you and the Spirit World to access, I think I’ll be able to find it if needed.”

She smiled at him before meditating with him. She knew of the group's plan to make a bed for Aang so he could finally sleep, she was just keeping him company in the meantime.

“___?” She hummed softly in reply, still meditating. “What if we see Zuko during the invasion? What will you do?” She opened her eyes, a sorrowful smile formed as their eyes met.

“Depending on where he is in his journey, I’ll either have to disable him or listen to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“My first night in the Spirit World with Roku. He let me know of my future, to help me mentally prepare for it. He told me a beautiful tale of me falling in love, with his great-grandson. But he warned me, his great-grandson has the ability to be good or bad. As Roku and Sozin are both his great grandfathers.”

Aang gasped, “Zuko’s mom is the granddaughter of Roku?”

“Yes, that’s why he is at war within himself. Between his two natures. He also didn’t have the healthiest of families to help him cope with it either. His uncle, although wonderful, found his path in life a bit late. I hope Zuko will find that path one day too, but I can no longer be the one to guide him, he must find it himself. But only time will tell if he will find it soon or if he will live a long life trying to find it.”

“Do you still love him?”

Her eyes fell to her stomach and the bump there. “I do, but when he took another woman because I was unconscious for weeks, I feel as though maybe my love might have been blinded by the fairy tale Ruko told me. For he never mentioned a child. He only mentioned I would have to choose to forgive Zuko or not, and that it would be very difficult for me. I love him, but I'm not sure if I can forgive him just yet."

"It must be hard, not knowing if he loves you or not, yet still having this child."

"It hurts not knowing, but it's not too hard. I'm not worried for some reason, not when it comes to this baby."

Aang had a flash of the small baby named Hope that Katara had helped deliver a few months back. "Babies are a beautiful thing, especially when you have someone to share it with."

"Katara asked me to stay until the baby is born at the very minimum, so in a way I will, you guys are the closest thing I have to family right now. So, I'll share that experience with you."

"So, I get to be an uncle?" He smiled.

"You'll be the best uncle!" They giggled softly and she smiled at him fondly as the group approached them, ready to help Aang finally sleep.

After the invasion, Aang wanted nothing to do with the planning for the next steps, next attack. ___ shut herself away from the group and the others with them now. She should have been left behind with the other adults, but they wouldn’t hear her protest, since she was pregnant.

Walking along one of the many corridors of the Western Air Temple, she hummed softly to herself, enjoying her solitude, wanting to fix her mental state before joining everyone. No one needed a pouty pregnant woman around, all because they didn’t listen to her. They had her and the baby’s health in mind, they weren’t trying to make her feel more useless or weak. So; she needed to be alone to fix the brewing thoughts before they burnt anyone needlessly.

She walked until she felt lost and sighed and started to head back to the group, for dinner. But when she arrived everyone was sulking and arguing about something.

“What’s wrong?” ___ asked while getting some food after Sokka said something about not adding animal cruelty to the list.

“I’ll tell you-” Katara started, ready to vent to someone else.

“Wait,” Toph cut off Katara. "___ how would you feel, if Zuko came here asking for forgiveness and to teach Aang firebending?”

She understood what had happened just from Toph’s question, her heart sped up, the broken pieces throbbing, she took a breath to reply. “Aang needs a firebending teacher, and Zuko, well he’s a good firebender. I don’t know how I feel about him asking for forgiveness, but if you thought he was sincere, Toph, I would let him stay. Because if you think he was sincere the whole time, it hopefully means he’s finally found the correct path.” She looked to Aang with a sad smile, reminding him of their conversation when he was so sleep-deprived.

“How?” Katara asked softly. “How can you just allow him here? Forgive him and trust him? Especially after what he’s done to you?”

“I don’t forgive him; I don’t trust him. But the options of firebending teachers are pretty limited to Aang. Only time can tell if he can earn trust and forgiveness from any of us. We have to look past ourselves. The world needs the Avatar, the world needs Aang to learn firebending. If we still can’t trust him after he’s with us and he’s taught Aang, then you can give him the boot and send him packing.”

“I hate when mother is right,” Sokka grumbled.

“I am not your mother,” ___ snapped. “I’m a friend. I’m tired of being treated like some soft pregnant woman with motherly love. I’m a fighter. My pregnancy doesn’t change that. I will only let motherly change take me when the world is no longer at war. I can’t soften and hold everyone’s hand through this. You’re all kids to me, but the world can’t have the Avatar, a master of waterbending, master of earthbending, and a sword master, be kids. You have to keep the goal in your mind.”

“You’re still mad at us for making you come with us? Instead of letting you stay with the other adults, aren’t you?” Aang asked softly.

“Yes.” She exhaled sharply before taking a deep breath. “But I know you did it because you care about me,” she rested a hand on her stomach. “About the baby. But you wanted me here, so I’m here. And I think you should listen to what Zuko has to say without emotion.”

“All I know is that while he was talking to us, he was sincere. Maybe you’re all just letting your hurt feelings keep you from thinking clearly.” Toph said in agreement with ___.

“Easy for you to say, you weren’t there when he had us attacked by pirates.” Katara spat.

“Or when he burned down Kyoshi Island,” Sokka added.

“Or when he tried to capture me at the fire temple.” Aang finished.

“Why would you two even try to defend him?” Katara said so frustratedly she was shaking.

“Because, Katara, you’re all ignoring one crucial fact. One ___ has already told you!” Toph stomped up to Aang and poked him in the chest. “Aang needs a firebending teacher! We can’t think of a single person in the world to do the job. Now one shows up on a silver platter and you won’t even think about it?” She shook the ground with a couple more stomps.

“I’m not having Zuko as my teacher!” Aang walked away from ___ and Toph.

“Aang-” ___ started before Sokka cut her off.

“You’re darn right, you’re not buddy.” Sokka stood tall, finalizing his backup with Aang.

“Well, I guess that’s settled,” Katara said smugly. ___ sighed before looking at Toph.

“I’m beginning to wonder who’s really the blind one around here.” Toph stormed off, ___ followed behind her.

Toph and ___ were walking through the forest, to find Zuko.

“You didn’t have to come with me,” Toph sighed.

“I know, but I would like to talk to Zuko too. I think I know him well enough to tell when he’s lying, whether you can detect it or not.”

Toph giggled pointing to ___’s stomach, “I would hope you knew him well enough.”

“Oh shush,” she pushed Toph playfully, but it was clear she was a bit exasperated by the comment.

“Do you think Zuko would try to trick us all; like he did to you and Katara?”

“Zuko didn’t trick me. I don’t think he meant to trick Katara either. I think he loved me in his own way. He was good in Ba Sing Se. But the allure of home was stronger than the good.”

“But now that he’s here, you think the good called him back?”

“I’m hoping that. I’m hoping he found his true destiny.”

“I’m hoping you’re right,” Toph said with a sigh.

While moving through the brush the women alerted Zuko.

“Who’s there?” His voice was groggy, the sound of it stung ___’s heart. As they got closer, he yelled. “Stay back.”

“It’s me!” Toph shouted back, but it was too late, Zuko had already lashed out fire in his fear, Toph even tried to make herself an earth shield. She fell as the flames licked the soles of her feet “Ow! You burned my feet!”

Zuko was up and running towards her as she started to crawl away. “I’m sorry, it was a mistake!” He cried while chasing after Toph, but sudden strikes to his body made him collapse.

“Get away, Zuko!” ___ shouted while scooping up Toph.

“___?” He gasped, trying to sit up, she only chi blocked his right side. As she started to walk away, he called out to them. “No, please, come back! I’m sorry!” He tried to get up, but the weight of his right side would not shift and he fell back. He groaned along with his heart ache seeing ___ walk away and ignore his plea, his apology. “Why am I so bad at being good!” He cried to the sky, wishing to be able to rewind time.

He’d go back so far if he could, but he pleaded now silently inside his head. “Please let me go back, even just 5 minutes.” He exhaled in defeat, wondering what the girls had wanted to say, but now he’d never know.

Days passed and the threat of Combustion Man was gone, Hokada and Suki back. While sitting around the fire with everyone, Zuko served tea again, while he did so, he noticed ___ left the group. Excusing herself to go lie down. And the night where he burned Toph’s feet came to mind. She came with Toph, what did she want to say?

After his failed joke and everyone had settled their laughter. “Does ___ leave the group often after dinner or is that because of me?” Zuko asked softly, silence rang afterward. Katara and Aang shared a soft look.

“Before the invasion, I was restless, ___ was meditating with me. I asked how she would react if we were to run into you since, at the time, you were still an enemy, a threat.” Aang sipped his tea before continuing. “She simply said she'd either disable you or listen to you. She believed in you even then, she just wasn’t sure when you'd find your correct path in life.”

“But when she thinks about you, hears your name, or even just briefly has a polite encounter with you. Her heart beats sickeningly. Like the broken pieces are trying to pull together.” Toph added since she was able to hear and feel ___’s heartbeat.

“I want to explain myself, talk to her. But I want to do it alone.”

“You should be thankful she even acknowledges you exist,” Katara spat, still angry.

“I am, she’s always been forgiving. But I don’t know how forgiving she’ll be with me.”

“___ still loves you,” Toph encouraged him.

“But before we allowed you in the group, she did say only time would show if you deserved trust and forgiveness,” Sokka added, Suki elbowed him. “What? He should know the truth, the good and the bad.”

“Thank you, that helps. Maybe she’s not ready to hear my apology, because she doesn’t forgive me or trust me yet.”

“Make sense, you engaged her, impregnated her, broke your promise then left her for another woman because she was basically in a coma,” Katara stated with venom.

“I never left her, but I was too cowardly to tell my father no to the arranged marriage. Scared to not be his perfect son again.”

“Mai still seems to love you, since she helped with the prison break,” Sokka said.

“Another heart I broke, by being a misleading person. She loves someone within me that I’m not. She doesn’t understand that I’m trying to save my country, my kingdom. The world fears and hates the Fire Nation. I need to try and heal that and help the Avatar bring balance back into the world.”

“I think ___ just needs a little time, she was for having you here from the get-go with me,” Toph popped some more food in her mouth. “She’s just not ready to deal with you. Since she’s been having some health issues with the baby, every time we have stress, she gets sick.” Toph said sadly.

“Well with the invasion being over, Combustion Man gone. Hopefully, things will calm down.” Katara said before standing up. “I should go check on her and the baby before we sleep.” She stood and left towards the way ___ had left earlier.

Zuko sighed and sipped his tea. He would need to be patient a bit, wait for some alone time with his love, and keep an eye on her troubled health with the baby.

Author’s Note:

Hello, I know I’ve been gone for awhile, but I’m getting better mentally and personally. I can’t promise when the next chapter will come out, but I’m hoping by the end of May.

I’d like to thank everyone that’s liked previous chapters and stayed with me on this. This is still my indulgence, anime fanfics, but after this series. I might go into show/movie fanfics (like Marvel and Supernatural), make a list of who I’d be willing to write for and open a for request for a bit.

Also, for the one lovely who wanted to be added/tagged for new chapters, here you go; thank you for your love on this <3

@eridanuswave

#guidance series #fanfic #fic #zukoxreader #zuko/reader #avatar zuko #atla fic #lalah writes #lalahbug #reader insert #xreader #self insert #fire lord zuko #firelord zuko #x reader

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years

Text

i dreamt of you all sumer long;

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 2,607

Warning: angst with a happy ending :)

Summary: based on the song ‘betty’ by taylor swift except bucky ain’t no cheater.

a/n: i dedicate this one to all my fellow swifties. betty was an instant favourite as soon as i first heard it when folklore came out. it has been begging for me to write a fanfic inspired by it and now it’s finally out and i’m really happy about it. hope you like it. please leave a comment & like :)

He stood on the doorstep of your house, with a bouquet of pink roses in his hands and a hood over his head. A little tipsy and full of sorry. “You can always turn around," the voice in his head whispered just a few minutes ago when he stopped at a streetlight illuminating his path to the street he had passed a million times before.

But now that he was standing in your front porch light of this cozy little house he had grown to know as if it was his second home before the avalanche this summer was, the feeling was finally sinking in.

“Have you seen Bucky?”

“No, I thought he was with you.”

“Well, he was but then Steve asked me to dance and he just… disappeared.”

“Maybe he went to the bathroom?”

“Yeah, I’ll just try to call him again. Thanks, Nat.”

You searched for him in the halls and within the classrooms but there was no sign of him. You knew that Bucky hated the crowds and he always tried to avoid them. But Bucky knew how much this dance meant to you and how long you had been looking forward to this night. You put on your best dress and makeup for him tonight and you wanted to sway to your favourite song with him. He promised that he would try to make this night an incredible one for you. He seemed to have forgotten that promise because he wasn’t even answering your calls or texts to let you know where he was hiding.

You went to the boys’ locker room and what you saw was a bullet right in the centre of your heart. Bucky had his lips on a classmate of yours’ with his back pressed against the locker.

“Bucky…?”

He drew this moment out in his head after weeks of yearning for the way your lips tasted when you used to kiss in his car and downtown bars. And the pattern of your braids that adorned the view of you under the sunset, and the star-shaped traces of his fingers around your scars.

The only thing he wanted to do was make it up to you.

Bucky was a deer caught in headlights when he heard your meek voice calling out his name. He was too stunned by the act she had just caught him off guard with. He was on his way to somewhere less congested to calm himself down because the crowds always evoked the anxiety in him and Steve had asked her to dance when her favourite song was playing from the far side of the gym when he heard the sound of cries from the locker room. He couldn’t help but approach the sound, he really should’ve kept walking instead of interfering. He saw her sitting on the bench in her dress with a tissue in her hand and sobbed.

“Hey, you okay?”

“James… What are you doing here?” She looked up with her swollen eyes.

“I was on my way to the library but I heard someone was crying so I had to check it out.” He scratched the back of his head. “Maybe I should’ve given you some space instead…”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you, James.” She smiled. “Wanna sit?”

“…Yeah, sure.” He doubtfully accepted the offer. “What happened?”

“Kevin broke up with me over the phone while I was on my way to the dance and he came with Cecilia.”

“Jeez, what a dickhead.”

“Yeah, I knew he and Cecil had been fooling around behind my back for months but he always told me that I was being crazy and that I have to trust him more, and I always believed him until tonight he showed me what a jackass he actually is.”

“Hey, he doesn’t deserve you. You should be with someone who loves you and treats you better.” Bucky was never one to give good advice or comfort to his friends but his mama raised him to be a gentleman and to treat a girl like a queen. She always reminded him that if he ever broke a girl’s heart, she would beat his ass.

She smiled, “thanks, James. You’re really sweet.”

He nodded, “well, I should go. Y/N might be looking for me.”

“…Right, you are with Y/N.” For a moment there, she forgot that he and you were the school’s favourite couple.

“Yeah, so, you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

He got up and started walking toward the exit when he heard her call his name. “James…”

He turned around to see her on her feet already when she threw herself into him and startled him by pressing her lips onto his and pushed him onto the locker as it rattled with the pressure of his body against it. He was too dumbfounded to get her off of him when he heard your voice, “Bucky…?”

He could hear the music emanating from within the house as another of his classmate passed by, bumping his shoulder to get through the entrance. Another one of your stupid friends, he used to say, and you used to chide at him for that. But now he felt like he was the biggest idiot. "You got this, don't be a fucking coward." He braced himself.

So he showed up uninvited and his eyes scanned every corner of the room, seeking for that one face that haunted his dreams all summer long. Will you have me? will you love me? Will you kiss me? The lingering questions loomed over his head like a heavy cloud. What if you told him to go fuck myself instead? If you kissed me, will it patch you broken wings? He was only seventeen, he didn’t know anything but he knew that he missed you.

You greeted each one of your friends who came to your birthday party. You were grateful for another year and your friends whom you consider your second family. You were the type of person who was friends with everyone even though you only considered Natasha as and Wanda as your best friends, your most trusted confidants, they were the ones who stitched you back together after you caught Bucky cheating… Or at least that’s what you thought.

So you invented the whole school to your party and almost everyone came. The jocks, the popular girls, the nerds, even some of your seniors were there too. Your house was packed with high school kids dancing, drinking and laughing… But there was something missing.

He should’ve been there with you. He should’ve been the one standing right beside you when your schoolmates were singing happy birthday to you. He should’ve been there to kiss you and hold you after the party was over and everyone had gone home. But he wasn’t. Because you thought you knew someone and you thought someone loved you but sometimes you’re just enough for them and they would go looking for excitement in somewhere else.

“Y/N! Wait a minute, would you listen to me?!”

“I’ve heard enough. Most importantly… I’ve seen enough.”

“No, you don’t understand, she kissed me! She was crying and, and, I was trying to comfort her and we talked and the next thing I knew she kissed me!” He frantically explained through his ragged breaths.

“But did you stop her?”

He was silent. What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t stop her because he didn’t have it in him to reject a vulnerable woman? That’s how his mama raised him right? To treat every girl with respect and to take care of a girl especially when she’s emotional. Why is being seventeen so confusing?

“I was… I was trying to but-”

“I’ve heard enough of your bullshit, James.” Oh no, you called his first name. Oh man, he had truly fucked up.

“I- I would never cheat on you, y/n! You really think I could do such a thing to you?”

“Not anymore.” You glared at him with all conviction in your heart and your classmates gathered around to watch the quarrel as your heart was bisecting.

“Well, I guess then this is it.” He didn’t mean it. He wished he had fought a little harder for you. To make you stay and hearken. But he gave up too easily. He has always been a lover than a fighter after all, but how he wished he had turned himself into the other one at that moment.

You chatted with Natasha and Wanda in your living room and you giggled at another witty joke Natasha had just said. Natasha and Wanda always had a way of making you giggle even when your mood was contrasting the expressions on your face. The conversation faded into the background as your mind drifted to Bucky’s face. And that’s when you saw him…

Bucky’s breath hitched when he saw you for the first time after all these weeks. He swore he had prepared every word he was going to say to you and how he was going to act when- if You agreed to talk to him. But it was always easier said than done.

He couldn’t decipher the look on your face when your eyes met. Was it longing? Was it contempt? Was it disbelief? You were always difficult to read. God, he wished he was a mind reader sometimes.

Kids started murmuring things from one another because the entire school loved you and Bucky and everyone started talking when you two ended things and that he was caught ‘cheating.’ And now everyone’s jaws dropped when they thought you and Bucky were truly over and that he was the last person that would be invited to your party.

Bucky stopped in his tracks and if the earth could open up and swallow him so he wouldn’t have to deal with his annoying schoolmates and your fury, that wouldn’t be the worst scenario right now. But he was here and he might’ve had been a fool and a recreant once but he was going to fix it now. He can’t keep running away when things get the slightest bit inconvenient.

So he dragged his feet towards you with the bouquet of flowers still in his hands and once he was close enough to you, he sheepishly spoke, “hi.”

“You’ve got some balls to show up here.” You gritted through your teeth.

He gulped, “I wanted to talk… And to wish you, happy birthday.” He handed you the flowers and also a piece of his heart, hoping that you would take him back.

You accepted it. They were lovely but could a bouquet of flowers really mend the wounds he had inflicted? “What do you want, Bucky?”

“Just a few minutes to explain… everything. After this, if you never wanna see me or talk to me ever again, I’ll leave you alone.”

Was it really what you wanted? Curse your heart for always knowing better. But your stubborn head always had its hands on the wheel, so, forever can spare a minute… right? “Okay, let’s talk in the garden.”

Your garden, the place where you and Bucky used to make out when your parents weren’t home and laid under the broad daylight. Was it wise to lead him here? You shushed the whispers of your heart. Memories came swirling through like a hurricane, banging on your door, begging for you to open up and let him back in.

“Go ahead.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna make this quick but um…” He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. Something he always did when he was nervous or didn’t know what to say. He looked down and spoke, “y/n, I am so sorry for what I did to you at the dance. I know I should’ve- God I should’ve stopped her and should’ve stayed with you. I should’ve kept my promise to try harder for you but I didn’t. And I know I’m a fucking idiot but… I’ve missed you. So badly. And I wish I could turn back the time and fixed it but all I can do now is apologize.” Your tears were threatening to fall at the sincerity of his words. You never wanted this. You wished Bucky had known better but to love is to lose your mind and you were at fault for this mess too.

“I understand if you don’t wanna see me around or deal with me again, I came here knowing you’d never take me back because you told me once that cheating was your dealbreaker and what I did was just as shitty but, if this is the last time you’ll ever talk to me, I had to get it out of my chest. That’s all.” He sighed, the gloom in his heart wasn’t withering away but at least the weight in his heard was lighter now that he had come clean. “I’m gonna go now, you should go back to your friends, they are waiting.” He inched his face closer to you to kiss you on the cheek and you were too mesmerized by the blue in his eyes to shun away.

“Goodbye, y/n. And once again, happy birthday.” He turned around to leave, going for the exit door of your garden so he didn’t have to walk past through the crowds and deal with prying questions about their… whatever they are now or what truly happened at the dance. He had made peace with you and that’s all that mattered to him.

He was a few steps away from her when he heard her voice calling his name, “Bucky, wait…”

He stopped and turned to your direction only to catch you narrowing the gap and jumped on him. He was quick to catch her as they used to after a few days of not seeing each other and they both had missed each other terribly. She pressed her lips on top of his and circled her arms around his neck to hold onto him. Because who was she kidding? She had missed him so badly too. She dreamt of him calling her to apologize or to show up at her party but never once did she admit it. And now, her heart was back in her arms and she didn’t want to let him go ever again.

Their kiss with filled of longing as their lips moved like a perfect symphony. One of his hands moved to her face to hold her even closer because everything he desired was coming true and he was desperate to make it stay a reality. Your hands grabbed his hair as your tongues tangled, dancing in sync. You pulled away when the need for air was overwhelming, “I forgive you.” You smiled as your foreheads were pressed together.

He too smiled at that, “does this mean you will take me back?”

You nodded, “it does.” Bucky grinned wider, the bliss in his face was palpable. Oh, how good it felt to see him smile again. Bucky could say the same.

He kissed you once more with his hand cupping your cheek and when he pulled away, he gazed into your beautiful eyes and confessed, “I love you. So much. I never stopped loving you.”

“I love you too.” You meant it with every bit of your heart.

He put you on the ground and you were still intertwined with each other, too in love and too elated to pay attention to the curious peeks and snooping ears. “Let’s go back inside, yeah? It’s cold here. And you should be there with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be anyway.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes high school au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #betty #taylor swift

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douxspider · 4 years

Text

— 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. (3)

‘ARVIN RUSSELL x READER INSERT’

( spoilers for “the devil all the time” ) — Waking up at Reader's place, we finally get a glimpse at Arvin's POV. Though, while their relationship seems to be moving forward, it seems like the whole 'running away into the sunset' deal only happens in fiction.

+ this is the third part to peachy keen! (ao3 link)

warnings: angst, almost smutty but nothing explicit is written, mentions of murder, preston teagardin lmao, rated mature word count: 4,244 published: 9/24/20 ao3 link — part 1, 2

— — • — —

When Arvin woke up leaned against you, he felt his face turn into a beet shade of red. Slowly parting from your leaning form on the couch, he rubbed his eye, unaware that he had an actual decent rest in such a cramped position. He hardly ever felt comfortable enough to sleep in his own bed. Usually, attempts at sleep were mostly met with staring at the ceiling blankly, recalling haunting memories on repeat in his head.

His thoughts were blank when he fell asleep. Arvin was met with nothing but the television’s staticy audio and the sound of your quiet breathing.

He looked over to take in your features— what amazing features, he thought— and found his hand carefully creeping to the side of your face to brush the knuckle of a finger near your ear, tucking a strand of hair behind it lovingly.

Arvin loved you.

He knew he shouldn’t— he knew he had no idea what love was— but within the few months spent together, Arvin knew he liked you too much to be calling it ‘liking’ and ‘platonic’.

That one stormy evening alongside memories of beating the hell out of Lenora’s bullies, blood and bruising splattering his knuckles like paint, he needed a place to clear his head. He needed a place that was quiet in every way shape and form. Arvin had been driving with a foggy haze before his eyes had locked onto McCann Boys. Arvin wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t anything, he just needed to sit somewhere other than a damn car where he could swerve into a building and die.

When he stepped in, the immediate smell of sweetness overloaded his senses, and he found himself hesitantly sitting down in a booth, wringing the cloth against his knuckles in a patterned fashion.

Then you approached.

And by God, had you been the prettiest sight to see. If it were on any other day, Arvin would’ve been sure to come up with better words than asking if he had to buy anything.

That’s not how you talk to a pretty face, his father would scold in his head, y’wanna smile at ‘er, and make her feel all sorts of butterflies. Y’gotta make her feel like the only girl in the world, son.

Arvin often had his father’s coaching in his head when it came to things like this. Though, it didn’t really make sense most of the time. His father didn’t live long enough to meet Arvin in his ‘girl phase’. This was more than a phase, he promised himself, looking at your resting form. And my, had the universe been so forgiving of him, making sunlight drawing from blinds rest on your features, highlighting your skin and making you look like a pure, unadulterated angel.

He wanted you.

Arvin bit his bottom lip. He wanted you so bad. He wanted to keep you forever. He wanted to take you away from this lowly place in Ohio and bring you somewhere nice, somewhere with beaches and sunshine, away from disgusting preachers, dried blood and judgmental eyes.

Realizing the first time you went to that church, Arvin could see the way that no-good priest looked at you. He knew what that man did to Lenora. He knew everything. Arvin got up from the couch, his fists turning stark white as he paced towards the apartment door, red building at the sides of his eyes. Arvin had to protect all the girls in town. He had to. For Lenora, for Y/N. He had to go and—

“Arvin?”

Hearing a voice that reminded him of bells, Arvin turned around, seeing you slowly rise up from the couch and looking over to make contact with him. “Where are you going?”

Your sleepy tone was so amiable. Your eyes were so dazed, blinking as you gave a small sniffle, scratching at your shoulder.

“I was…” Arvin trailed off before coming back towards you, kneeling in front of the couch and giving a smile as he took your hand. “I was gonna get you breakfast. As a thank you.” A lie, but it was fine. He was planning on watching the priest. Though, breakfast didn’t sound too bad. Time with you was worth more than anything else. You were all he had, next to his grandmother and uncle.

You smiled. He melted a little inside.

“You don’t need to get me anything,” you murmured as you clutched onto his hand. Your eyes were studious, flitting around his body, and he suddenly felt small. “Are you okay? I’m sorry about the sleeping stuff… if your neck was stiff, I mean, I’d feel bad—”

“Y/N,” Arvin spoke sternly, “that was the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life.”

Your eyes turned round, diluting slightly once they met the sunlight.

Arvin could hear his father’s berating tone in the back of his head. Say it. Be a man. He looked at the ground, holding onto your hand for dear life, uneasily balancing his weight on his knee. Though, Arvin couldn’t say anything. Nothing was coming out. There you were, waiting so patiently, being so patient with him, and he was at a lack for words.

Words wouldn’t fix this. Only action. Action would fix everything, Arvin knew this. He was taught this. He was always better physically expressing his thoughts and feelings than vocally or emotionally.

Releasing one of his hands from yours, he curved one underneath your palm and pulled your soft, untouched knuckles against his lips, giving a kiss. These knuckles have never hurt a soul. This being had never hurt anyone. Arvin would make sure it would stay that way.

He glanced upwards, his cap altering his view slightly, and he could make out the way your cheeks turned a different shade, inviting lips gaping slightly.

Smiling against your skin, Arvin moved his free hand to the top of yours and gazed at you. To his surprise, he watched as your thumb rolled circles against his own. You were smiling, and it was a smile to take in. Oh, it was.

“You’re sweet, Arvin,” you giggled so beautifully and he wanted to listen to his name coming out of your mouth on repeat, “...I kinda want donuts.”

Arvin couldn’t help but give a laugh under his breath at the change of moods. He stood up, continuously holding your hand as he refused to let it go, and said, “Let’s get donuts, then.”

—

He was angry. He was a pot boiling. Staring at Preston from afar, he watched from his car as the man interacted with a female shopowner who was fresh out of highschool. Arvin’s leg bounced within his vehicle, the sun setting, and he continued to survey.

Preston would interact with girls other than his wife. He would bring girls into his car and do unspeakable, unlawful things with them, then proceed to go back to the place he calls home and force himself onto his wife.

Arvin clutched onto the wheel.

While Preston was a horrible man who deserved the worst punishment from all graces of any lord, he found himself growing frustrated. Not even just about Lenora or all the sweet innocence the man took, Arvin found himself growing frustrated at his own damn self.

He would think about Y/N.

No, not doing such acts as those forcefully, imagining the same power dynamic, he would never. He meant it when he said he didn’t hurt girls. Arvin despised the man. He despised him and he wanted him gone. He wanted that man to suffer for what he did to his sister. Though, at points, he would drive up to your apartment and stare at the window that belonged to you. He would lick his chapped lips and his hand would shake as it reached the door handle. Then, Arvin would grow a clear sense of mind, he would receive clarity, and he would drive to the opposite side of town just to avoid even thinking about touching you in such a passionate way.

After a few days, Arvin decided.

He’d have to leave you behind.

He loved you, but he also loved Lenora, and Lenora deserved justice. Arvin could hear her voice already, pleading for him to let it go. To just let the man be. To leave. Do anything else. Settle down with you somewhere far, far away, start a life, start a family. Be free.

“I ain’t ever let anything go, ‘Nora.”

The priest was dead.

Arvin’s blood rushed through his veins as the sun set on the horizon, him zooming through the city streets, eagerly approaching your apartment.

God, it was a thrill. The adrenaline coursing through his veins after watching the damned predator fall onto the church floor bleeding from his wounds was cathartic. It made Arvin’s head whirl and turn dizzy. He had no moral thoughts, he was no longer moral, no longer a man that could be forgiven. Arvin felt the rage that built up within him for years be released with three gunshots, the guilt and agony of being alone and misjudged by any person left behind within the church.

Sitting in the car and hearing the blinker click at him, he turned it off once pulling into the lot. He took off his cap, carding his fingers through his hair, debating if he was really going to let you go.

Y/N offered a future he couldn’t take. It hurt more than anything.

Arvin glanced up at your patio, seeing you move from behind the window. You were only a silhouette. You were yet to be discovered by him in this manner, this new Arvin Russell. You wouldn’t recognize him, he thought, he wouldn’t recognize you.

It would be a completely different take on his life. He was no longer himself. Was he better, or worse? Was he a criminal, or a vigilante? Arvin didn’t know what to do. It hadn’t set in yet that he was no longer only capable of beating bullies shitless. He was so much more than that. He was more.

Arvin could do anything.

It was dark out. He finally found the courage to yank open the door handle and step out of his car. He didn’t bother to lock it, he had nothing to lose.

Entering the apartment’s doors, smelling various spices of cooking or hearing children laughing from very muffled walls, Arvin found himself stomping up the steps, his heart beating against his ribs uneasily.

Staring at the room, noticing that the others around were vacant, Arvin could just about do anything. No one would know.

He clenched his fists a few times before finally knocking on the door with his knuckles. It was like the first time you two had met, his very knuckles expressing his pain and anguish, and you read onto the signs of a lonely man seeking solace. Arvin was still bruised and broken; just not in any place where you could see it.

You opened the door, and your mouth opened before closing abruptly. Arvin knew he must’ve looked like he just killed someone. Well, he did, but you didn’t know about that.

Arvin wanted you. Though, he’d be careful, you were the one delicate thing in his life. He had to treat you with care. He had to treat you so gently this night, for it would be your last with him.

Taking a step inside, he moved his hand up and cupped your cheek, moving his thumb— once holding a gun used to kill— so that it wiped gingerly beneath your bottom lip. Your jaw fidgeted slightly as you were attempting to find words. Though, your hand didn’t disagree with his actions. Instead, it met the back of his palm, planted gently on top of his own hand that held your cheek.

Confident, Arvin moved in closer and pulled you towards him, meeting your lips with his. You made a soft noise in your throat and it set Arvin’s mind on fire. Flames danced between your faces, and he felt you eagerly kiss back, your arms snaking across his shoulders as he found himself kicking the door with the back of his heel to close it shut.

Your hands found themselves on the surface of his head and pushing off his cap to knot fingers in his hair. Arvin didn’t even care. His body was burning underneath your touch as he found himself pressing you against the nearest flat surface, which was your dining room table that held a vase with hand picked flowers resting inside and a sweet floral mat keeping it level. You were so adorable, he swooned in his head, you were so precious to him and oh so good. You’re so good.

Wife material, Arvin’s head was screaming, he wanted to steal you away and marry you. You were lifted onto the mahogany table, Arvin’s tongue swiping at your bottom lip. You were so good, submitting your mouth to him, letting him roam the inside and clutch onto your hips so tightly it could bruise. Feeling your soft, untouched, blessed hands clutch onto his belt line had him push his pelvis closer to yours.

“Arvin—” you attempted, but he wouldn’t let you. No, he wouldn’t let you worry. You didn’t need to worry about anything, not with him around. He was your protector, he would keep you safe, he wouldn’t let you die or leave. He wouldn’t let you be hurt by anyone. Thinking about keeping you close to him in his arms, just this close, making you sigh from pleasure as Arvin plastered kisses down your jaw and to your neck to test the waters of what made you quiver; it was enough to drive him insane.

He found his teeth scraping at your flesh and you gasped, arching your body upwards and he felt your hips grind against his middle. It made him give out a guttural growl of need.

“Arvin, wait— wait, honey, stop—”

Arvin didn’t want to. Though, he would, just for your sake. He lifted his head up to meet yours, and once you made eye contact with him, your expression changed from flustered to concerned. Nurturing. Your hand met his cheek, your thumb gently rubbing itself underneath his eye, and he moved a hand to hold your wrist and gently kiss your palm.

Your voice was so soft, so sweet, as if you raised it any further it would blow Arvin away. “What’s going on?”

He wanted to tell you everything. You were so kind, you were everything, you were the sun and stars and sky. Nuzzling into your hand, he murmured, “Nothin’...”

“It’s clearly something if you come into my apartment and start kissing me like this, Russell,” you spoke, his last name strong in your city accent. Your voice was so stern, so dead set on uncovering him, and Arvin gazed at you, still high from revenge and loving you.

He hesitated. Arvin pinched his lips together, licking them faintly, still tasting your lip scrub on them.

Your warm hands met his burning face, handling them so sweetly. “You don’t need to give me specifics,” you started, “...just give me something, Arvin, so I know you’re in your right mind.”

Your name made his eyes flutter shut, nudging his nose against yours. “Say m’name like that again, sweet girl…”

“Arvin.” Your tone was more of a warning. It pulled him back from the sea of desire.

Arvin sighed, mumbling, “I had a revelation, darlin’…” his thumb rolled circles into your wrist, “I had a good day… ‘m a free man, Y/N. I wanna share this with you.” He opened his eyes to see you gazing at him so sweetly. “Let me have this night with you, pretty girl. I wanna make you feel as good as me. I’m sober, I promise, ‘m just intoxicated by the thought of you.”

“Such a flirt,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt himself smirking.

“Only for you.”

Your beautiful, reflective eyes stared into his. Then, they shut, and you moved your head forward to slowly encapture his lips. Arvin was more than eager to requite this. Fervor filled his loins as he clutched your thigh once it was squeezing against his side.

“Sweet baby girl,” he whispered into your ear, “Can we move this to your bed?”

—

When Arvin woke up, he had never felt more exhausted. He was hit with a newfound clarity. There was a soft gray shade leaking from the windows, and he squinted at the clock from across the room— wiping the fogginess from his eyes— and took notice that it was in the early hours of five a.m. Arvin went to move, but was barricaded by something clinging to his side.

His eyes were round as saucers as he took a hold of your nude bodies entangled.

Flushed, he quickly whipped his head back ahead, staring at the ceiling.

The confidence he had last night was almost embarrassing. Though, he licked his teeth and looked back to you, his fingers carding through your hair. Your hair was so soft to the touch, so perfect for someone like you, never missing the latest trends.

Arvin gave a hum of contentment, taking in your features in the early morning. Last night was full of unbridled desire, a fervor that the both of you had been bottling up for who knows how long. Perhaps, since that rainy day in the bakery, there had been that weird spark that compelled you both to do this.

He buried his nose in your sweet scented hair, pressing his lips against your warm forehead, hearing you shuffle and murmur under your breath. You were still very much asleep.

Taking in your sleeping face for the last time, Arvin gave a pained smile. He didn’t want to leave you at all. He wanted to keep you forever— he wanted to wake up to this every day— but he couldn’t let you become an accomplice. Arvin had to protect you.

With that, he managed to sneak his way out of your koala arms and legs and get dressed in his old clothing. Reading over the letter he wrote yesterday, Arvin felt his heart break with each word. You didn’t deserve this. You deserved better than him— someone who could keep themselves together, who wasn’t so haunted by the past. You came to this city to escape yours, and he couldn’t drag you into his. He had to escape too. Some part of him knew you would understand that with time.

Arvin had stopped by a bakery quickly, ordering a lemon and poppyseed muffin with the most bittersweet feeling, coming back to your room to see you were still dead asleep.

He placed the muffin box down on the nightstand and folded the letter so that it stood up with your name on a proud display. Arvin’s hand wringed its way through his hair before he stared at his ragged blue cap for a moment, placing it alongside the muffin and letter.

Arvin leaned down to kiss you on the lips briefly, you giving a sleepy hum, pursuing your lips lazily before drifting unconscious again. He noticed that the sun was just rising.

The sunset brought a bit of hope. He watched you sleep for a bit, the purple turning into a golden on your features, before he made his exit.

—

Your body felt like jello. Giving a groan, your hands scavenged the sheets for the warm body that accompanied you that night, but you were left with a cold absence. Cracking your eyes open and grunting at the shine of the sun, the clock spoke nine a.m, and you were surprised Arvin was not with you.

You licked your lips and sat up. Stretching your spine, you noticed you were nude and blushed, pulling the sheets up your chest. “Arvin?” You called, noticing the lack of your friend— lover? Boyfriend? Friend with benefits?— and gave a long exhale. Luckily you had the day off, as convenient as that was.

Looking over, you noticed the hat, muffin box, and letter. Your name was in bold pencil, and you tilted your head curiously before leaning over and peering through the plastic cover. You smiled and saw the dark spots of poppyseeds on the treat. It was sentimental, and your heart nearly burst.

Gazing at the hat, you were inquiring if he just managed to leave it behind.

You decided to take the letter, opening it up and not preparing for what you’d read.

Y/N,

You’re probably wondering where I am right now. I am too. If you asked me right now, I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer.

I did something that can’t be forgiven. Maybe not by the Lord, definitely not by law, uncertain by you. I don’t want you to worry. I’m safe. I can’t come back. I can’t give you a number or address. I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know who I will be.

The world ain’t been kind. I know it ain’t been kind to you either. I don’t want to make things even worse for you, sweet girl. You’re everything I didn’t deserve. You said to me a long time ago that I deserve good, but I don’t. You are such a good girl, so much so I can’t have you. A part of me wants to be selfish and keep you. I know I can’t. I can’t do that to you.

You’re gonna hear about that preacher man. You’re gonna hear things about me, probably. I just want you to know I did it because I had to. You need to know that. I couldn’t be alive knowing Lenora wasn’t and he was. I’m sorry, baby.

I’m sorry for leaving you. I don’t want to. There’s nothing I want more than for you to be with me right now, pretty girl. I’d give everything just to see you every morning, every afternoon, every night. Ever since that day where you forgave me for the first time for my sins, smoking and drinking black coffee, I know what else I could fight for. I know what I could have just for myself. The sad part is, God is a sadist, and he won’t let me have you.

You asked me if I like Puppy Love, and I do. I’m listening to music for once as I write this, and I understand all the stuff they cry about on the radio. I know what it means to love. My heart ain’t ever been this broke before, sweetheart.

I love you, Y/N.

As I said, we’ll be seeing each other again. Look out for postcards from my initials.

A.R.

When you finished, wet spots had been dotting the paper, and the last two initials were the final nail in the coffin. You let out a choked sob, leaning over to clutch onto the paper close to your chest. You collapsed onto the sheets, weeping, unable to comprehend. You kept asking why, why, why, even though it was right in front of you.

You flipped the page, noting the sweet lyrics on the back.

I cry each night, my tears are for you, my tears are all in vain, I hope, I hope and I pray, that maybe someday, you’ll be back in my arms once again.

Sniffling and wiping at your nose, you gave a few sobs, pressing your palm against your damp cheeks until they turned red.

You folded the paper and placed it back on your nightstand, curling in on yourself, clutching your sheets that still had Arvin’s presence lingering on them. Pressing them against your wet, hot face, you gave a few soft wheezes.

How could you tell Arvin you loved him, too? How could you write back to him? How could you sleep at night, not knowing he was okay? That there was no way you could tell him you’d wait forever for him?

You must’ve managed to doze off, as the sun was no longer as golden as before. The skies were a clear blue, and you managed to tug on tolerable clothes. Standing on your patio, you clutched the metal railings, staring down at the town with dismay. He was no longer here. This town no longer held that charming spark that you’d learn to love.

Walking back inside, you gazed at the letter, muffin, and hat. Leaning over, you grabbed the blue cap and rubbed your thumbs against the torn fabric, pressing the lid against your lips and kissing it. At least you had this— something you rarely saw him without. He gave you this, and your heart soared at the thought. Placing it on the top of your head, you took the lemon and poppyseed muffin and headed towards McCann Boys.

Marilyn perked at your presence, speaking, “Sweetpea, it’s not your workday.”

“I’m here as a guest,” you murmured, gazing at her, and Marilyn’s eyebrows rose at your expression. She gave a sorry nod at you, continuing to swipe down the counters.

You sat in the booth you and Arvin met at, and you took your seat, gazing at the ashtray emptily. Picking at the muffin, you fixed your cap to hide your face.

The radio near the coffee player began to sing. Your heart dropped, and you recalled the oh-so familiar lyrics.

...This is not a puppy love.

#arvin russell #arvin russell x reader #the devil all the time #arvin #reader #reader insert #peachy keen #sfw #M #my writing #douxdamian #fic #tdatt #tom holland #multichap

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jaskiers-sweetkiss · 3 years

Text

Sunset Swerve - Part 6

Pairings: Luke x OC

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: light cursing

A/N: Day 6 of @jatp-week is favorite fanfic trope and since I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers here’s the next chapter of Sunset Swerve! We’re through episode 5 now. Some house keeping before you get into the chapter: song lyrics are italicized and the songs used in this chapter are Get Gone and Last Song by Thalia Mar. Idk why but the jatp soundtrack reminded me of her music so I figured why not make them Apollo 81 songs? Definitely recommend checking her out! As always, let me know what you think!

Part 5 Masterlist

___

“Where are they?” Julie paced backstage.

“They’ll be here any minute,” Jordan had reassured the girl last time she had asked. That had been nearly an hour ago and this time the ghost girl had no explanation for their absence.

She frowned as she considered what might be keeping the three ghost boys from their first gig. The only feasible explanation she could come up with was that they’d gotten what they needed from Willie’s friend and were currently confronting Bobby. The thought made her blood boil, that they would abandon the girls for revenge.

“I have no idea,” Jordan answered the pacing girl, “But I have an idea.” “Idea for what? Can you like summon them here or something?” Julie asked skeptically but at least she had stopped pacing.

“No.” Julie frowned. “But, I know a way Julie and the Phantoms can still perform. Well, Julie and the Phantom, singular.”

“We can’t perform without the guys, we need them for all our songs.”

“True,” Jordan admitted. “But there are some old songs I wrote with Apollo 81 that we could perform with just the two of us.”

“You want to learn a brand new set of songs and perform them tonight?” Julie questioned, crossing her arms and giving Jordan a look that clearly showed her disbelief.

“I already know the songs and you’re a freaking music prodigy, we can absolutely do it.” Jordan protested, “I’ll pop back to the studio to get my notebook and meet you in the band room, okay?”

Julie nodded, smiling at her in a way that told Jordan how crazy she thought she was.

Jordan appeared in the studio a moment later and quickly scrambled up the later to the loft, sifting through her left behind belongings for her old song notebook. She kept the most recent one on her at all times in her bag but it was filled with songs for a four-piece band, none of which she could rework in time for herself and Julie to perform. However, she knew somewhere in the loft there was a notebook of songs she and the girls had been working on just for fun, some of which could easily be performed by just the two of them.

She thrusted it into the air triumphantly when she finally found it in an old box with some Apollo 81 memorabilia. She quickly poofed back to the school, landing on the piano bench next to Julie.

“Did you find it?” She asked after recovering from being startled by the ghost’s sudden appearance.

“Got it right here,” Jordan held up the notebook before flipping through the pages. “So I was thinking we could start with...”

Jordan walked Julie through her thought process on the setlist before they got to work. Just two songs to learn as fast as they could. They practiced for nearly an hour, Julie finally seeming comfortable enough with the lyrics and melodies to make it work when she got a text from Flynn.

“We should get out there,” Jordan said, moving to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder but forgetting that was impossible. “We’ve got this.”

Julie nodded, taking a deep breath before holding her head high and marching out of the band room. Jordan whooped excitedly as she followed behind her.

“Get ready cause Julie and the Phantoms are about to rock your socks off!” She called excitedly though she knew only Julie could hear her.

Julie shook her head, laughing at the girl’s outdated phrases.

“It’s eleven o’clock, you gotta perform,” Flynn said when they arrived backstage. “Even without the guys you’ll sound amazing.”

Julie smiled at the compliment.

“Don’t worry, Jordan and I have a plan.”

“You’re going on?” A voice asked from behind them and Julie froze.

Jordan cooed silently at how adorable the blond boy was, clearly caring about Julie and the band.

Julie nodded, though Jordan could see the nerves filling her again. Nick grinned from ear to ear before running out on stage.

“Guess what guys!” He exclaimed, grabbing Flynn’s microphone. “Julie fixed the hologram thing! Who’s ready for a show?”

The crowd erupted into cheers and Jordan grinned, starting to bounce on the balls of her feet as she felt the mix of nerves and adrenaline pumping through her body as it always did before a performance.

“Uh, hi,” Julie said, stepping onto the stage and accepting the mic from Nick.

“You’ve got this,” Jordan called out reassuringly and Julie took a breath, starting stronger.

“So, here’s the thing: even though we got the machine fixed, thanks to Nick,” she smiled at the boy and the crowd cheered, “I still can’t link up with all the guys, WiFi am I right?” She joked, gaining chuckles from a few people in the crowd.

“So, the shows going to look a little different tonight. It’s just me and Jordan, hope you don’t mind.” She smiled lightly and the crowd cheered while Jordan whooped again from behind her.

Flynn grinned at her best friend, giving her two thumbs up as she walked off stage.

“Get all your bags, get out my house, I don’t want your stuff around. I never did you wrong, but you did me wrong so go ahead and get gone,” Julie sang from the piano, repeating the intro once before Jordan joined in.

She poofed onto the stage, guitar in hand as she took over the melody, Julie jumping up from the piano as the crowd cheered for what they thought were hologram effects. As Jordan played Julie began to stomp and clap out a back beat, getting the crowd to follow along as she joined her bandmate in center stage.

“All this time, I wasted on you,” she began the first verse, the crowd yelling excitedly as the girls played. “You’d think I’d feel something. You thought wrong. I feel nothing, so now I guess it’s your move.”

“You used my back as a door, left me for dead on the floor. You didn’t try no not one bit,” Jordan took over for the pre chorus, leaning into her own mic. “Thought I came off as weak, well this is me proving you wrong.”

“Get all your bags, get out my house...” Julie took over the chorus once more, Jordan singing the backup harmonies.

Before she knew it the song was over and the crowd was screaming. Jordan grinned, slinging her guitar to the side as she pulled her mic from the stand.

“Hi, guys!” She greeted the gymnasium. “We’re Julie and the Phantoms!” The name was met with a roar of applause from the students. “I hope you don’t mind that we deviated from our usual rock sound for you tonight.

“For this next song I wanna get my girl Flynn up here!” Jordan spoke, waving the girl onto the stage again. “As you’ve all seen tonight, Flynn is crazy talented and I’m hoping she can help us out with this next song as we’re missed a few hands,” she laughed, gesturing to the mostly empty stage and Flynn nodded, moving over to her setup.

“This ones called Last Song, hope you like it,” Jordan grinned, gesturing to Julie who had returned to the piano.

While Julie began the first verse, switching the keyboard to an organ sound Jordan explained to Flynn what they needed.

“...I never let it go cause you never gave me the chance to,” Flynn joined in with the beat and Jordan grinned. “I never had the time to talk and be done with you, so I say it now,”

“This is the last song I promise you at least for now,” as Jordan came in on her guitar Julie bounded over, holding out her microphone for the ghost to take over the chorus. “This is the last song I’ll ever write about you.”

The two girls fed off each other’s energies and the cheers from the crowd, neither one able to keep the smiles off their faces. It was over before Jordan was ready for it to be, the three girls taking a bow and Jordan disappearing once more.

She watched from the side of the stage as Julie thanked their audience and soaked up the applause with her best friend. The gymnasium emptied out not long after and once she was sure Julie was all set she poofed away, planning to give the guys a piece of her mind.

When she arrived back at the Hollywood Ghost Club she wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it hadn’t been a hopping party with a massive band. The whole room was dancing and Jordan couldn’t help but bop along to the beat as well as she searched for her bandmates. She finally found them as the song wound down, all three of them right in the middle of the stage.

“The haunting hour is upon us!” A man in a fabulous purple suit called when the clock struck midnight and the crowd replied with a low ‘ooooh’ before the band kicked up again.

Jordan watched with crossed arms as Luke scrambled to get the boys together, the trio rushing towards the exit where she was stood.

“Oh shit,” Luke cursed, stumbling to a stop in front of her and holding his arms out to stop the guys behind him.

“Yeah,” Jordan said snidely and the guys gulped.

“Gentlemen, what’s the rush?” The purple suited man from before questioned as he poofed behind the group and Jordan turned to face him. “You must be Jordan. We certainly missed you tonight.”

“Looks like I missed out on quite the party,” Jordan replied sincerely before turning to glare at the guys.

“Well the party’s just getting started, and you have an eternity after all,” he quirked an eyebrow at her and she smiled gratefully at the offer.

“Y’know that girl who can see us?” Reggie interjected, pushing forward past the guys. “We sort of bailed on her. See there’s this dance at her school tonight, and she’s got this friend Flynn who’s a super cool dj like-“

“Okay, I don’t think he has an eternity to hear the story,” Alex cut him off.

“Basically we’re late for a gig,” Luke summarized and Jordan snorted, late was an understatement.

“But what about my offer?” Purple suit asked and Jordan frowned.

“What offer?” She asked, looking between the man and her bandmates.

“To join my house band,” he answered, spreading his arms out in a grandiose gesture. “Naturally the offer is extended to you as well, I’ve heard you possess a great musical talent.”

“Thank you,” she blushed at the compliment. “But, I’m already in a band.”

“Yeah, it’s like we said Mr. Covington,” Luke started but purple suit held up a hand to stop him.

“You have your own band, I understand.” He said, his seemingly warm smile not quite reaching his eyes. “But, if you ever wanna come back and fix that little problem with your friend, the Hollywood Ghost Club is always open.”

The guys grinned at the offer and Jordan held back a sigh. She understood the importance of getting back at Bobby but their pursuit of revenge was kind of becoming a problem.

“Yeah, man, we’d love to come back,” Luke accepted and purple suit smiled, reaching out to shake his hand.

“Music to my ears,” he said, shaking each boy’s hand in turn and then reaching Jordan. She hissed slightly as she felt something burn into her wrist as they shook hands.

“Oh, it’s just a little club stamp.” He explained as she watched the purple symbol fade away and they all nodded at the explanation.

“Until next time,” he said, chuckling deeply. It was actually mildly disturbing, Jordan thought.

She stood and watched as each boy filed out of the building, not planning to let them out of this one. Alex took a moment longer to inquire about Willie, which Jordan allowed because truthfully she was rooting for them.

Once they were out of the club, they all poofed to the school, Jordan appearing next to Julie under a now half-popped balloon arch.

“Julie we are ready to rock this.... dance,” Reggie called as the guys ran into the gym, faltering as they took in the scene before them.

“We are so, so sorry that we bailed on you,” Luke said, stopping next to Reggie as they faced Julie who had since stood up, adopting a disappointed stance.

“Yeah, the night really got away from us,” Alex continued.

“And the twin,” Reggie added, only to be met with glares form the other three ghosts.

“Why didn’t you come get us?” Luke asked, turning on Jordan accusatorially.

“Nuh uh, don’t you turn this on her,” Julie sassed, stepping between the two ghosts. “You guys were supposed to be here. She’s not your babysitter.”

“You’re right, we’re so sorry,” Luke sighed, staring down at his shoes. “But we’ll make it right, we’ll do whatever it takes. We’ll play the next school-“

“What, another dance where you can bail on me and make me look like a fool? Save it,” Julie spoke and Jordan gulped. “If it weren’t for Jordan I never would’ve been able to show my face here again!”

“You know what sucks?” She continued, growing more emotional as the confrontation went on. “Our songs were good. And all three of you knew what I’ve been through. How tough it’s been for me to play, and you do this? Bands don’t do that to each other. Friends don’t do that to each other.”

Jordan tried to hide her sniffles as she discreetly wiped the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t handle Julie’s speech and the heartbreak obvious on the guys’ faces. She had wanted them to get shamed a little for their mistake, she was disappointed in them herself, but not like this. She couldn’t stand to see all her new friends this upset, especially with each other.

“This was a mistake,” Julie said quietly but firmly.

“Y-you mean the school dance right?” Luke gulped.

“No.” Julie said coldly, “I mean joining a band with you guys.”

Before any of them could stop her she was running out of the gym, both Luke and Jordan calling out her name as she left.

“Why couldn’t you have just come and gotten us, Moss,” Luke spat, turning his heartbreak and frustrations on her.

Jordan sniffled, no longer trying to hide her tears as she stood from the gym floor.

“Why couldn’t you have just been responsible?” She wasn’t sure where she’d found a voice through her tears and swirling emotions, but the voice she found was full of malice and betrayal.

Before they could get into another of their signature fights she poofed out, reappearing in the studio. She didn’t stay long, only taking the time to grab her book before running up the path to the house and Julie’s room. She hoped the girl wouldn’t mind that she was there, but she was certain she wasn’t welcome in the loft anymore.

She nearly collapsed in pain upon arrival in the room. A sharp jolt of pain had shot through her chest, it felt almost as if she were dying again.

“What the hell was that?” She groaned quietly to herself, curling up on the ground.

Part 7

___

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx

Sunset Swerve Taglist: @oopsiedoopsie23 @angryknightstatesmantrash @onlygetaway @deni-gonzalez @advicefromnixxxx @brooke0297

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miraculousturtle · 4 years

Text

euphoria

euphoria: (noun) a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness [until it all crashes down]

[the aftermath of chat blanc]

(ao3)(ff.net)

-----

It haunts him: the dream he can’t remember, the one he can’t quite place. It haunts Adrien in the way he lives his life, but the seconds don’t always add up just right. Kagami blinks, her laughter short and precise, but there’s a glitch in reality when he feels nothing when he sees her smile.

“Adrien? Are you listening?”

His heart hangs heavy, unease a constant friend as he tries to muster up his own grin. “Of course,” he says. He grabs her to assure her. “But can you tell me your story again?”

They are having a study date. Their new relationship is precious and safe, but precarious when life reminds him of glitches, of mistakes, of all the things he can’t name. It itches his brain, forgotten memories, a funny thing that claws his patience.

Kagami narrows her eyes, the sharpness cutting through all nightmares that cling to daylight. Cool hands touch his cheek. “Not sleeping again?”

He places his palm over hers, relishing in the anchoring realization that her fingers fit perfectly between his. “No, no. I’m fine. You’re here and I’m fine.”

He means it.

“I’m happy that we’re able to be together, Adrien. You make me happy.”

He takes her palm and kisses it, his heart fluttering at her bashful smile.

Afternoon sun looks good on her cheeks, flushed and pink like a premature sunset. Adrien counts his blessings, thanks the heavens that their paths have met. Being with Kagami is akin to freedom, to having someone who truly understands him.

Even if, even if--

Adrien feels like he’s suffocating by a gravity that shouldn’t exist.

---

His dream plays on repeat. He falls in love with Ladybug for who she is and she falls in love with him for who he is and everything is perfect. His heart fills to the brim with adoration because she cherishes him more than anything, wants nothing but the best for him. There is no shame in his desperation when he soaks up her love like a drowning man needing air.

Their partnership effortlessly transitions to their civilian lives as he holds her close as they dance. Her every embrace is more precious than gold and her silvery smile paints his heart bold. Their friends are happy for them, her parents adore him, he feels like his world is entrenched in love in all ways. Friendship, family, romantic: all intersect in his beloved heroine.

He tells her he loves her with every breath and she does the same.

And nothing is more perfect, but he never remembers her face or her name.

It’s lunchtime as Marinette strides to the table, her back straight and confident. Her face, however, is red, her fingers trembling as she sits down to Alya. Both Nino and Adrien stop talking, curiosity getting the better of them. She is a paradox of timidness and boldness that seems echoing familiar.

“I--,” Marinette starts, her blue eyes marvelous and bright.

It’s the glitch in reality again, Adrien realizes. Sometimes when he looks at Marinette, she takes his breath away, like the far off dream becomes tangible because she exists. Marinette makes the glitch painful, like a sting that swallows him for wanting to change anything.

Alya gives her friend a patient smile. “What’s up, girl?”

The world pauses for a moment as Marinette loses all former shyness, it slides off her skin and she is born anew with a deep breath. Marinette beams, beautiful and stunning. “I—I told Luka how I felt about him and now—now we’re dating!”

Alya’s jaw drops, “You told a boy you liked him without me poking and prodding you!? What? Are you sure you’re Marinette?!”

Marinette nods, giggling and nervously tucks hair behind her ear. “I did. Just—took that leap, you know. Got out of my head. Like you always tell me to.”

“Way to go, Marinette!” Nino praises. He reaches across the table and pats her shoulder. “Never thought I’d see the day. You know—considering the last boy you liked—ouch!--I mean, you know, since you can be a bit shy around guys.”

Alya’s glare burns, but Adrien feels like he’s missing something when Marinette ducks her head and avoids his eye.

She smiles all the same. “Yeah, I know what you mean, but this time, it’s different. Luka is a nice boy and I like him. I can talk to him...”

Something is pressing on his heart again, the way that Marinette seems at ease. Adrien doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t know why this entire conversation makes him feel like he’s breathing concrete.

“Congratulations, Marinette,” he manages to say.

Her blue eyes fall to him and he feels breathless again.

“Thanks, Adrien.”

---

Sunset is warm over Paris, but deep down, he feels cold.

Knuckles knock on the side of his head. “Hello, Earth to Chat Noir! Are you even paying attention?”

Chat Noir blinks and finds Ladybug’s intense stare studying him too close. It’s the glitch, he tells himself, the dream can’t be real.

“Funny you say that. My girlfriend said the same thing to me recently.”

Ladybug stills for a moment. “Girlfriend?”

He swallows. “Yeah. I asked her out a few weeks ago. For real this time! You know her act--”

Ladybug puts her hand over his mouth and Chat Noir stops breathing. “Don’t tell me who it is! If I know her, then I’ll know her boyfriend too. We can’t know each other’s identities!”

He rolls his eyes, the cold in his bones too much compared to the warmth of her hand. “Yes, yes. I know. You’ve made it very clear.”

Ladybug smiles, but it is wobbly at best. “Not because I don’t want to know you, Chat Noir. There’s no one more precious to me than you.”

Chat sighs and pulls her into a hug. “You think too much, has anyone ever told you that?”

Finally, she laughs. “All the time.”

---

Saturday night is blissful, with city lights being the only stars that they need.

Kagami lets go of his hand, rushing forward to embrace her friend.

“Marinette! I’m so happy to see you!”

Marinette stumbles and peaks over his girlfriend’s shoulder. “What happened?”

Adrien winces and rubs the back of his neck. “She’s a little drunk.”

“A lot drunk! It tastes like juice, Netta. Like juice. There was a whole bowl of it!”

Marinette laughs, her pajamas the same pair he remembers from the last time. “Well, I somehow convinced your mom to let you spend the night at my house so why don’t we get you some water and get you to bed.”

Kagami pulls back and grasps Marinette’s shoulders. “Only if Adrien tucks me in.”

Marinette shoots him a pleading look and Adrien jumps right in. “Of course, Kagami. Anything you’d like.”

Kagami swings and hugs him instead. “Me.”

“Wha--”

Marinette stifles a laugh. “Oh my god, Kagami, I hope you remember this because you’re going to die.”

Marinette pulls his girlfriend by the hand and the three of them walk upstairs quietly trying to not wake up the Dupain-Chengs. Adrien learns quickly that Drunk Kagami is nothing like normal Kagami.

She has zero impulse control. Such as when she tries to engage everyone in an impromptu fencing match wielding a ladle.

“Kagami, no!” Marinette quietly scolds. “We can fence tomorrow. It’s bedtime now.”

Kagami shakes her head. “I don’t want to go to sleep. Not until I see Adrien leave.”

“I thought you wanted me to tuck you in?”

Kagami sighs and twirls the ladle in her hand. “I do, but...”

He reaches forward and stills her hand. In the background, he hears Marinette looking for something.

“What’s wrong, Kagami? You can talk to me.”

Kagami swallows, her drunk eyes glossy. “I know. But Marinette might still like you.”

His heart freezes the exact second Marinette drops something, muttering shit .

Tension rains down in the kitchen for a beat before Marinette clicks her tongue. “I don’t like Adrien anymore, Kagami. Don’t worry. I’m with Luka now. I like Luka.”

There’s the glitch again and the dissonance of this moment strikes Adrien as wrong, wrong, wrong. Nothing about what was just said was right and he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he--

Kagami looks soulfully at Marinette and everything is wrong.

“Here, drink some water, Kagami,” Marinette gently says. “I just want you to feel better, okay?”

Kagami nods and takes the glass. “Thanks, Marinette.”

Adrien catches Marinette’s eye and she smiles, soft and sad. “Anything for my friend.”

---

Adrien dreams that night, but everything is wrong.

His love is—dead.

Because of him.

Ladybug is dead because of him.

The world ends because of him.

A distance grows between him and Ladybug, between him and Marinette and no matter how much he tries to forget, Adrien believes his life is in a constant glitch.

In his dream, he kisses his Lady soundly on the mouth as he has done countless times. They are civilians again and they are cuddling in the grass watching clouds go by. This date is like any other, perfect and serene.

“I love you so much. I don’t think you understand.”

She laughs, clear as a bell. “I think I do. I’d do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

She snuggles into his chest and hums. “Yes. As long as it means you’re happy.”

“I’ve never been happier than I’ve been with you.”

“Good,” his Lady says, but there is a silence that follows as her fingers curl into his shirt.

“But what?”

“But if we’re no longer together, I want you to be happy then too, okay, Adrien? Promise you’ll try to be happy.”

“M--”

“Promise me, Adrien. Be happy. Be free.”

He frowns. “Fine. I promise.”

She kisses over his heart. “Good.”

“Anything for you, my love.”

---

Waking up crashes down on him as his dreams fade away.

Eyes wide open, he stares at the ceiling.

“Ladybug knows.”

---

It haunts him, the glitch. The memories from then till now loop in his head, but remembering two timelines proves difficult as he paces a rooftop in the middle of the night.

“She has to know. She has to know,” he says to himself.

The moon is swollen, a painful doppelganger to his other life. Chat Blanc’s melancholy melody that echoes in his bones.

The yo-yo whirls past him, clinging to a rail for Ladybug to grapple. She swings up with ease, caution in her posture. She’s poised to greet him with friendliness and cheer, but her face pauses with concern.

“Everything okay, Kitty?”

“It’s real, isn’t it? You and me. Us. We were together, weren’t we?”

She stills, the way her eyes refuse to look at him rings loud with silent truth. “Enough to know it was real...but don’t worry, I don’t remember who you were...are, I mean. I don’t know who you actually are. I don’t have memories of it though. Just that...I know that we happened.”

“So you’ve known? How long? When?”

“I’ve known for a while now. Bunnix came and got me to fix the timeline.”

“So, I really destroyed the world.”

“Yes. No. No, Chat. It’s my fault. I destroyed it. I used being Ladybug for my own purposes. I wanted to tell a boy that I liked him, but I used Ladybug to do it.”

“What?”

“I used my powers to sneak around instead of telling him how I felt...”

He can’t breathe. “Does he know? This boy? Did you ever tell him?”

“No. I couldn’t. Because—I made the world end.”

“Ladybug—but that means, Ladybug. How did you make it not end?”

She smiled softly. “I had to erase my name from a present. Pretend it came from someone else. Somehow giving him the present helps us get together.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I haven’t really figured out the entire timeline of that. But, all I know is that in the other timeline, our love…it caused so much pain. Is it? Are we really worth that?”

“You’re worth anything, Ladybug. Don’t you know that?”

“I’m really not. I’m not worth the world ending. We have...we can’t fall in love, Chat. Don’t you see? Us in love ruins everything.”

“That can’t be true! It can’t be--”

“Chat Noir!” she shouts. “Believe me, I wonder about it too. I wonder what we could have been! Chat Blanc—he was so kind, so true. I wonder what it meant to be in love with him. To somehow have all my dreams come true. But it’s not worth it. Not with everyone’s lives at stake. We can only keep the people safe. That’s our duty. No matter what we want, we are superheros.”

Chat Noir wants to argue, but he deflates. “It’s over, isn’t it? What could have been us?”

Ladybug sighs and cups his cheek. “In this life, we can be happy enough. I don’t need the moon and stars, I just want a chance to be.”

“I feel like we’re breaking up. Is that silly?”

“It seems like that, huh? But we won’t. I can’t lose you, Chat Noir. There’s no one I’d rather have at my side.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

---

Adrien accepts the dreams, accepts the glitch of all things that cannot be.

Moving on from Ladybug is painful, simultaneously in pieces, but whole as they fly through Paris together. There is beauty in their friendship, in their partnership that weathers every storm that Hawkmoth throws their way. He’s lucky enough to know her, to have her back when everything is going wrong.

Moving on from Ladybug is painful, but life becomes more beautiful with Kagami, with Marinette, with Nino and all his friends.

They don’t know it, but they hold his heart up when it wants to collapse again.

Winter finds them with soft snow and hot chocolate to keep them from the cold. Kagami is tucked at his side in a cafe, the glitch a faint memory.

She laces their fingers together and peers up at him with soft, sweet brown eyes. “I love spending time with you.”

He kisses her bangs. “Me too.”

---

Later that night, it smacks him in the face as they try to dodge a rogue akuma. Maybe he’s deluding himself, but he needs to say this out.

“Oh my god, Ladybug! I figured it out!”

“You know where the akuma is?!”

Chat Noir laughs, ducking from a stray missile.“What? No! I figured out why we didn’t work out.”

“...are you kidding me?”

“Listen, listen. I’m being serious here!”

“And I am seriously trying not to get hit!” Thankfully, she uses a trash can lid to deflect a random ball.

“Ladybug, this is our bonding time. We’re gonna be fine.”

She growls and hurls the lid like a frisbee. “Okay, ol’ wise one, why did our love destroy the world?”

“Basically, if my calculations are correct, which they totally are--”

“Uh-huh.”

“Our love was basically an atom bomb from the get go. Plainly speaking, we just loved each other too much and we blew the world to smithereens.”

“Because I loved you too much?” she scoffs.

“You know, if you said that to me a few months ago, I would die of happiness.”

“Chat...”

“Okay, okay. But seriously. That was our problem. We loved too much without substance. While you only heard about us from Chat Blanc, I remember being with you. I would have literally done anything for you. Any-thing.”

She tugs at him and they end up nose to nose, an explosion happening in the background. “And what caused this great revelation?”

“I don’t know...just. My girlfriend, I guess? I like her a lot, but I feel like everything with her is a lot more...possible?”

“...that makes sense.”

“Yeah?”

She rolls her eyes for a moment, then thoughtfully hums.“Yeah. My boyfriend--”

“Boyfriend!? You never told me you had a boyfriend!”

He’s distracted for a moment, until she pushes him down, a stray projectile flying past above them. “Whoops. Sorry. But yeah. My boyfriend. He’s uh. He’s awesome. I feel like I can be myself with him. It’s nice not having to worry about being Ladybug, you know?”

“Yeah. I get that. When I’m not Chat Noir, my life is a lot more strict. My girlfriend gets that and we have a lot of the same interests.”

“Sounds like my friends. Their parents are beyond strict, but thankfully they have each other. I’m glad they ended up together.”

“Ha, is this the mystery guy you tried confessing to, but somehow wound up with me instead?”

Ladybug says nothing, but glares.

“Oh shit. Really?”

“Yeah...I was really in love with him and psyched myself out too much when I was around him. My other friend is better suited for him. I kinda gave up when I realized that. Which is okay! I’m just glad they’re happy. God, being young and in love is hard.”

The moment is a little too real, a bit too close to home to be comfortable.

“You want to know what’s not hard?” He says.

“What?”

“Being with you.”

“Oh my god. You’re going to fall in love again with me if you keep that up.”

He grins, his baton extending to catch an akuma. “Pretty sure that’s my line!”

---

It happens randomly over a weekend, but Kagami breaks up with him. January air is crisp as they walk hand and hand down the street.

“Mom is moving us back to Japan and well—we’re a little too young for long distance, I think.”

Adrien enjoys one more date, enjoys one more embrace.

He kisses her goodbye and he wonders if he would have ended the world for her.

---

Life continues and glitches go unspoken in Adrien’s life.

He spends time with his friends.

There are no more dreams about the timeline that never was.

He feels like his heart is finally moving on.

---

Until it doesn’t.

---

His world almost ends in Spring, the sun particularly scorching high on the rooftops. It is a standoff between Ladybug and Chat Noir against Hawkmoth.

This moment tastes bitter in his mouth, like he’s going to throw up for some reason.

Some taunts are said, some pleas are made, but nothing matters when Hawkmoth makes the first attack. Everything goes wrong when the Hawkmoth’s cane pierces Ladybug’s suit. Her stomach darkens maroon red as her face pales.

The world stops spinning as she falls to her knees and Hawkmoth stumbles back. It is almost as if it took this long for him to realize he’s been battling children.

“I—I didn’t,” the old man stutters, but Chat Noir ignores him as he files to his lady’s side.

He wraps around her and holds her close. “Get out here,” he says clearly. “If she dies, I will kill you.”

Something slides back into place with that declaration, like the glitch that never happened finally makes sense. Adrian would end the world for this girl, no matter what life they happen to live in.

“I’m gonna turn back soon,” Ladybug says. “I don’t want him to see him.”

Chat Noir scoops her up and leaps away, knowing for a fact that Hawkmoth won’t follow.

“Where should we go? Is there somewhere safe?”

Ladybug grunts for a moment. “Marinette’s room. The one above the bakery.

His fingers grip into her skin, just something to hold on. “She’ll help us?”

Ladybug sighs. “No, she won’t.”

He lands quietly on the rooftop, unsure why they’re here then.

Ladybug touches his face, her thumb smooth across his cheek. “Because I’m Marinette and I’m going to need you to help me, Adrian.”

---

Ladybug’s suit sparkles away and he’s left breathless.

The glitch comes back to stay.

---

It all happens so fast. The memories of before, Marinette’s face in center view. Getting Marinette’s parents to take her to the hospital. Their first kiss. The doctor performed a quick surgery. That last day.

Even no longer wearing the suit, Adrien can still feel her blood on his hands.

The hospital chairs are uncomfortable, but everyone sags with relief when the doctor says Marinette is in the clear. Her parents see her first, then Alya and Nino, and then finally, there’s a push at his shoulder.

He blinks and Nino nods to the door. “Marinette’s asking for you. You should go see her.”

Adrien walks to the door, every moment too surreal as his heart hammers in his chest. She sees him and smiles and gestures for him to sit.

“You know,” is the first thing he says.

“I know.”

He doesn’t have to ask for how long or how much because the brittle smile Marinette gives him is more than an answer enough. The room doesn’t have enough air in it and Adrien isn’t quite sure who is more fragile between the two of them.

He swallows, his mouth dry. “Where’s Luka?”

She gasps, and twiddles his fingers. “It’s too confusing to be with him...with all the memories. I’m sorry I didn’t understand before. To know and not know. It’s--”

“...agony,” he offers, his heart guarded.

She nods, her eyes a little teary. “I should have told you the truth sooner. I thought this was for the best.”

Adrian laughs and leans forward, dares himself to take her hand. “You need to stop thinking that you know what’s best for me. You always do that.”

“It’s because I--” her words die in her mouth, her fingers curling around his in panic.

He smiles and kisses her knuckles. “I know. Me too.”

He is quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “This time, we can take it slow. We already know what happens when we rush in. This is our timeline now. There’s no glitch here.”

And it is then, when Marinette looks at him, the sun is setting across Paris, that he finally understands love is less than euphoric and something more calm and consistent.

“I’d like that.”

#miraculous ladybug #ladynoir #adriennette #chat blanc episode #fanfic #drabble

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redfoxline · 4 years

Link

Thanks to @whumptober2020 for their hard work at organizing the challenge! I’m so excited to participate this year! =D

Whumptober Day 01-02

Theme: ‘Let’s hang out sometimes’ + ‘In the hands of the enemy’

Prompts: ‘Waking up restrained’ + ‘Kidnapping’

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Word count: 2264

Summary: Prompto opened his eyes to the sight of blood spots on his white shoes. The very same pair of sneakers that he had begged Cor to purchase for him as a gift at the beginning of the school year. Cor, who was neither his father nor his foster parent, but who looked after him like a godfather anyway. Cor, who abhorred spending unnecessary funds on trinkets, but ended up paying a pair of shoes a third of his wage just because they were trendy and Prompto had wanted to look cool. Barely one semester in, and Prompto got them ruined.

Prompto opened his eyes to the sight of blood spots on his white shoes.

The very same pair of sneakers that he had begged Cor to purchase for him as a gift at the beginning of the school year. Cor, who was neither his father nor his foster parent, but who looked after him like a godfather anyway. Cor, who abhorred spending unnecessary funds on trinkets, but ended up paying a pair of shoes a third of his wage just because they were trendy and Prompto had wanted to look cool. He had made him promise to take good care of it, at the very least, because it was useless to spend this amount of money in mere shoes if they didn't last the whole school year at least.

Barely one semester in, and Prompto got them ruined.

His internal laments were cut out by pain. Like a wake-up call, his brain finally registered that he was sitting in a very uncomfortable chair. Around him, nothing but plain, dented walls of some sort of warehouse. The door was locked, a brand new padlock glistening in the beam of sunlight.

Fear rose in his throat like bile.

Prompto lurched against the ropes binding him, straining his neck to get a better look through the window. He could barely see the top of some skyscrapers further away, and the sky. Was he that high? Was he in some kind of abandoned parking lot?

There was a district full of this kind of building near the checkpoint entrance of Insomnia. Prompto had never set foot in this area. It was rumoured to be haunted by the old people in the Niff District. Noctis had promised him it only was an urban legend, that it was empty because no one wanted to build a house this close to the gates, where fights would happen should deamons or niffelheim army sneak past the Wall.

Noctis! He smiled at the thought of this friend. Didn't Noctis explain to him what to do in case of kidnapping?

"Don't provoke them. Keep a low profile and give them what they want until rescue comes to get you," Noctis had recited in an obviously bored sigh. "Look at them and your surroundings. Try to gather as much information as you can. If you can communicate, try to give as much information as possible about your location. If they leave you behind, keep hidden until sunlight and get to the nearest place with a phone. Only act against them if it's your last resort."

That wasn't very useful to him, Prompto thought. !there was no one to make demands. Not that he could grant any, anyway.

He tried to move but the chair had been screwed down to the concrete. Grumbling in defeat, he looked around for another option, until his eyes found the door and its padlock again.

Wait. How come he could see the padlock? Shouldn't it be outside?

A wave of dread ran through his body and made his skin crawl.

If it was inside, it could only mean that, whoever had taken him there, had locked the both of them in.

After a long minute where terror froze him into place, he tried to turn around. A large wood board had been screwed on the back of the chair, preventing him to fully see what was behind him. He craned his neck as much as he could, his eyes turned so far back he felt they would just pop out of his head, he managed to glimpse at a tinted mirror. From the look of it, Prompto imagined it was large enough to cover most of the wall.

His stomach twisted. If there was a door to access the other side, it probably was right behind him.

How many were they? Were they watching him? He could imagine their stares burning his neck through the wood board.

The sob escaping his lips took him by surprise. He valiantly tried to blink back the tears but they fell anyway, tracing burning tracks on his cold cheeks. The empty room suddenly felt freezing, extracting another full-body shiver out of him. He didn't dare to speak up. Whatever they wanted, Prompto couldn't give it to them. Not that he would have wanted to, anyway.

They probably expected him to be able to provide information about Noctis, he realized. Maybe they would even ask for ransom. His face had appeared enough times in tabloids, trotting along with the Prince, for them to understand Noctis would go to great length to retrieve him. Too bad for them. The only information he knew about Noctis that was public was his love for fishing and tomato-flavoured chips. No one would have been stupid enough to let a civilian like him get access to security data. If there were in for the money, though, he wasn't sure about what would happen. Certainly, King Regis wouldn't let an underage civilian, especially a friend of his son, in the hands of his kidnappers. He wouldn't pay, though. If he sent the Kingsglaive, Prompto wasn't sure what would happen to him in the crossfire.

Hope bloomed in his chest when his internal voice of reason - which has suspiciously started to sound like Ignis as of late - reminded him they could do it for intimidation. To prove they could get close to the Prince. Anti-Crowners. They would have left him there.

Metal scratching the concrete dashed all hope away. Someone had opened a door.

Someone had opened the door right behind him.

His world went spinning and stopped whirling at the same time. There was nothing to feel but the utter terror blossoming in his belly when the man came into vision.

"Prompto Argentum." He knew what fearing for his life meant, now that his own name had left the man's lips. "Good afternoon, kid. You slept for a very long time. My buddies and I were wondering if we might have roughened up you a bit too much."

The blood on his shoes, Prompto realized. It came from somewhere, of course. He felt bad overall, but no place hurt more than another, so he assumed they hadn't beaten him up that much. It wasn't like he remembered how they got him there.

"Do you know why you're there, Argentum?"

He shook his head. The man grinned and snickered.

"He doesn't know why he's here! What an unassuming boy!". His hands plumped on Prompto's shoulders, all amused attitude vanished from his face. "Are you serious?"

Prompto couldn't get a word out, but that didn't seem to matter to the man. He turned back, leaving Prompto with a bad case of trembling knees, and started rambling.

"What a joke. He doesn't know!" The coldness of the man's glare would have been enough to pin Prompto down to his damned chair if he hadn't been tied up already. Prompto had seen Coeurls on Lucian Geographic who looked less murderous than his perpetrator.

"You're the bestie of the Prince and you don't have a clue what business we could have with you, kid?" A raucous laugh that didn't sound right ricocheted against the walls.

"Guess what? You're a lucky one. We're not bad guys. We don't care about the Prince. He is a kid too, and we're not child murderers. No need to be scared of us. We just want information about a man, and you happen to know a lot about him. Right, Argentum?"

Names and faces flashed through his mind. Who could he know that would have that much importance to that man? He didn't know the King personally, hadn't met him yet. Neither did he know Gladio's dad. The man probably didn't mean Ignis, because even if Iggy was the future Chamberlain, he wasn't one yet, and anyway he was barely legal so he didn't have time to do anything some crazy old man would want to...

"Seems like the Immortal is quite fond of you."

What?

"The Immortal?" He heard himself whisper, bewildered.

"Yes, the Immortal. Fancy that you know him. We've been tracking the little Prince for a while just to catch him. Seems like a busy man. Even if he's the head of the bloody royal security, we never saw him in a mile radius of the prince."

The man laughed and squeezed Prompto's shoulder. Hard.

"And here you come! The Immortal never visits the Prince, but Uncle Cor sure wouldn't miss the chance to take his dear nephew shopping, Imma right? Or are you his son, maybe?"

"I'm not. I'm really not!" He insisted, feeling the man digging his fingers deeper into his shoulder, making him wince in pain.

"Sure thing you aren't, kid. Why would the Immortal spend his time with you then?"

"I swear I'm not! I'm niff! The Crownsguards took me back in Insomnia when my parents were killed in Gralea!"

His pleas only made the man angrier.

"Likely story, eh? Someone like him wouldn't spend so much time with you if you weren't linked somehow."

A series of impatient knocks on the tinted mirror interrupted him.

"OK, kid. I just have a few questions about daddy dearest." If he ever made it out alive, Prompto would never laugh at B-Movies lines ever again - in real life those were downright terrifying to hear.

"Where does the Marshal live?"

Where did-Where did Cor live?

The walls of his apartment were painted with a light yellow. In the evening, the living room gleamed in the golden light. Being perched on the 32nd floor, it felt like being nestled in a cocoon nest, unreachable and above the clouds. Prompto had stayed the night a few times, whenever Mrs Argentum had to go away and needed him to be watched and every time he had managed to snatch a handful of amazing sunsets snippets. It didn't hurt Cor hid a fantastic collection of photography books in his office and could make a killer paella.

It seemed crazy people wouldn't know where it was situated. As far as Pormpto knew, the location wasn't a state secret. He wasn't an important person either. No matter what Noctis said, Cor wasn't exempted from following the rules. If the location of his apartment was deemed sensitive information, Prompto would never have been allowed up there.

"I don't know," he heard himself say, anyway.

"You don't know?"

"I don't know," he repeated, feeling a bit more sure of himself despite the tremors of his voice. "I suppose he has an apartment in the Citadel or something."

Next thing he registered was pain.

The punch would have sent him flying if the chair hadn't been screwed onto the ground. His vision turned blurry from the tears and he could hear the man yelling and yelling, but could not concentrate enough to understand what he was saying.

"Think you're funny, little shit? Think this is a joke?!"

"Calm down Dan." A new voice piped in. "Not gonna help if he can't answer."

"Do you know where he lives?"

"N-No." He kept his eyes on the ground.

A kick to his knee tore a cry from his throat. Finger dug hard at his jaw, forcing his chin up.

"For a Niff you're quite loyal, aren't you?" He shoved him back, dirty nails scratching Prompto's cheeks. "Perfect. Then if you don't know where he lives, you can tell me where he works, right?"

"The-The Citadel?"

"And how does he get his orders?"

"By phone -I think he has some by the phone. the secured stuff. And - hum, he gets summoned by the King sometimes."

Wasn't it common knowledge? Or was trying to coerce some other information from him with those questions? He hoped not. Had he revealed sensible information?

"This number...is it his secure phone, or his personal mobile."

A screen was pushed under his nose - Prompto hadn't even noticed the other guy walking in! - with Cor's name flashing right at him. Despite the new crack on said screen, he immediately recognized his own phone.

"It's...I don't know. I've never asked, "he stammered. "I think it's his personal phone?"

"Does he usually pick up right away when you call him, or does he call you back?"

The new man spoke with a heavy accent, Lucian accent. His calm demeanour was throwing Prompto off. The violence and the rage of the other man, that was what Prompto expected from a kidnapper. What was up with this guy? And what kind of questions were these?

"I- we - I mostly text him and he calls me back."

They couldn't do anything with that kind of information, right?

Wrong.

Wrong, he realized, when the new guy threw a punch and took a picture of his crying face.

Wrong, he realized, when he made a show of tapping the 'send' button. The tiny arrow icon flashed blue a few times before the picture was sent to Cor.

Wrong, wrong, wrong wrong...

Seconds grained like sand into an hourglass, stretching as they fell, until the screen lighted up back to life, displaying the text as 'read'.

Immediately his phone started vibrating.

He didn't need to see the ID to know who was calling. The cruel smile spreading on the new guy's face was telling enough. Before he could do or say anything, though, the two men left and snapped shut the door behind them. He strained his ears but quickly gave up. Walls of concrete didn't let pass many sounds, let alone distinct conversation.

With nothing but fear and uncertainty for entertainment, he went back to staring holes at his bloody shoes.

#whumptober2020 #no.1 #no.2 #waking up restrained #kidnapping #final fantasy xv #fanfiction #violence #hurt Prompto Argentum #beating #ansgt

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pixelburied · 5 years

Text

In Another Life (Colt x MC)

A/N: I just... needed to get this out there as a coping mechanism. I’m still: in pain. Inspired by Another Love by Tom Odell.

“I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright. I’m just so tired to share my nights. I wanna cry and I wanna love, but all my tears have been used up.”

Warning: Angst and Swearing

In a different life, you and I would rule the world.

The fallout was painful but quick.

The last thing Tala remembered was being wheeled away by paramedics.

In her daze, she could see Colt standing in an alley corner, a look of despair in his eyes. Tala wanted to believe she could hear him calling after her but Kaneko had a tight grip on his shoulders, pulling him back. She watched Colt's expression flash from regret to fear to... nothing.

Tala let the darkness take over.

When she finally awoke from her restless sleep, she wasn't sure if she'd dreamed it all - meeting Logan, the Mercy Park Crew, the Brotherhood.

It all seemed so distant in the dim light of her hospital room.

But the strange yearning in her stomach, for someone's lips on hers, reminded her that it was all real. That it happened.

Then she was overwhelmed by a wave of anger, of hatred so strong she wasn't sure what to do with herself.

She wanted to thrash around in her bed, to call out Colt's name in fury but her voice broke before she could get the word out.

Her dad ran into the room a moment after. She took one look at the pained expression in his eyes and all pretense of strength left her. She grabbed on to him, a sobbing mess, saying the words she should have said weeks ago.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm sorry.

---

The weeks flew by and soon the hushed whispers of gossip mongers died down in the school hallways.

It was as if she never left.

Whatever happened in those few weeks she spent in the bad side of town was buried like a dirty little secret, never to be spoken of again.

Tala kept her head down, partly because she was glad she finally had her old life back, but mostly because she was angry.

With the crew.

With Colt.

With herself.

Some nights, she'd jolt awake. From a wishful dream or a nightmare? It didn't matter.

Any time any memory of Colt ran through her head, it was immediately followed by a sinking feeling.

She hated him.

She kept repeating the word over and over in her head.

Hate.

But she had said the word far too often, trying to convince Riya that she was over him, that it had lost all meaning.

If Tala was being honest, the one person she was most angry with was herself - for handing over her heart so easily and for letting some guy she barely knew get the best of her.

Sometimes, when she’s alone, the memory of the ocean, the sunset, and Colt hit her so powerfully it was as if she was there all over again - holding on to him in the water, kissing him for the first time, thinking maybe - maybe - she could come to love this boy.

She always shook herself out of it.

She reminded herself that Colt made his choice.

He chose to walk down a path she couldn't follow.

But some days, she wondered, what if she had?

---

Today was one of those days.

Tala stood in front of the garage. She gripped the straps of her backpack tight as she looked up at the sign, Kaneko Auto Garage.

The place was empty, save for a few rags lying around. If she hadn't been here just a few weeks ago, she'd think it was always just an abandoned building.

She gazed at the spot where Colt used to work on his bike and she felt a pang of longing followed by a quick flash of anger.

There's nothing left here.

She pulled the garage door back down as she walked out, shaking off a bit of yellow tape the police had left behind.

Not a trace, her dad told her last week.

They had scrubbed the place clean and vanished liked ghosts.

If that were true, then Tala was being haunted. Because, there, standing just a few feet away, was Colt.

Tala's breath caught in her throat and she felt the world spin.

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a lungful of air, and when she opened them again, he was gone.

A voice in her head screamed at her to turn around and run home but her feet dragged her the other way.

She ran down the street, took a sharp turn and stumbled into an alley, heart pounding in her ears the whole time.

"Colt!"

He's here. He's really here.

She caught him getting on his bike, halfway to putting his helmet on.

He froze as he heard her voice. She swore she could see his hands shake.

"You shouldn't be here, Tala."

"Is that all you have to say to me?" Tala's voice came out louder than she was expecting. Her whole body shook as she took a few steps towards him.

Colt hopped off his bike, meeting her eyes.

His expression softened for a beat before he caught himself.

"What do you want me to say?"

"SORRY WOULD BE A GOOD FUCKING START."

She was livid now, all restraint out the window. She pulled herself to full height and stared defiantly up at him.

For a second, it looked like Colt was about to retort but he shook his head and turned back to his bike.

"You asshole!" She grabbed him by the arm with as much force as she could muster, turning him to her. She raised her hands in fists, and thumped them against his chest.

Colt barely flinched as he took her shaking hands in his.

"I hate you." Tala had practiced those words over and over in her head. But saying them now, out loud, it felt... empty.

Colt grimaced, a dark shadow passing his features, but he cleared his throat and let her go, pushing her away a little.

"Good. You should. I... shouldn't even be here. This is best. For both of us."

If that was how he truly felt, then why was he even back here? Why risk it? A small, smug part of Tala wanted to believe he came back for her - that he had been here all along, waiting.

She brushed the thought aside as quickly as it came.

"You don't get to decide what's best for me!" Tala stared him down as a renewed sense of indignation sparked inside her.

He isn't even a little sorry. This jerk.

"You don't get to decide what I do with my life."

"And if I had told you what I was planning, would you have stood by my side?"

She knew she wouldn't have.

"What happened to ruling L.A. together? Was that a lie?"

"I never lied to you."

"You just never told the truth."

The warm air crackled with electricity.

Colt wasn't backing down and neither was she. It was his pride that was his downfall. But Tala knew she wasn't far behind.

"If I had let you make the decision, would you be happy?"

"You don't get to decide what makes me happy!"

Tala pushed him back against the wall before pulling him down for a searing kiss. She had dreamed about this for days, weeks even. But her dreams didn't do it justice.

With Colt's lips on hers, something clicked. And it felt like the world made sense again.

She reached up to wrap her hands behind his head and Colt pulled her up by the waist and turned them, steadying her against the brick wall.

When he pulled away, his eyes were a mix of confusion, longing and regret.

He leaned back in but stopped to say the words she'd been waiting to hear.

"I'm sorry."

"It's too late." She closed the gap between them with a bittersweet brush on his lips.

"I know," He whispered against her mouth.

Warm tears began to roll down Tala's cheeks, lacing their kisses with salt.

Were they hers or his? She couldn't tell.

"I'm sorry." He repeated the words over and over.

"I'm sorry." Like a prayer of repentance.

"I'm sorry." But Tala knew no god could hear them.

They held each other for an eternity before Colt rode off to who knows where, throwing Tala one last nod goodbye.

She stood alone in the alley for an hour until she heard the rumble of a thunderstorm from the distance.

Heading towards the bus stop, she took one look at the direction Colt went and whispered a silent goodbye.

Perhaps, we'd find each other again, in a different life.

---

Colt Tag: @alegria1580 @itsbrindleybinch @frugalchoicer @brightpinkpeppercorn @orpheus-make-your-choice @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @allykrane @explorer-of-gems @deimosensblog @cordonianwaltz @pixieferry @emomoustache @kendrasgue @awkwardalbatros @jasieschoices @mistersinclaire @client-327 @aworldoffandoms @rachelsrothh @teenytinymagician @zaffrenotes @fairydustandsarcasm @fluffywhitehair @eileendannie @schizhoephrenic @thecordoniandiaries @claudevonstruke @ritachacha

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the Colt Tag.

#colt kaneko #colt x mc #choices rod #playchoices #long post #long fic

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queerchoicesblog · 5 years

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The Graduation Gift (RoE, Mira x Jess)

This fanfic is part of the @choicesjulychallenge hosted by the soon-to-be-graduate @kinda-iconic! It's been a while since I last wrote Mira X Jess and I missed the only ship that kept me playing Roe. This fic is an ideal prequel to Hot Cocoa For Two, the one I wrote for the December Challenge.

In short, Jess finally graduates and Mira has a special gift in store for her girlfriend.

Prompt: Commitment

Word Count: 2003

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @melodyofgraves @bhavf @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco

_________________________

"Hmpf"

Jess tossed and turned in the sheets as the light of a new sunny day hit her eyes. She blinked twice before finally resolving to open them. She hugged the pillow and inhaled the familiar scent of her favourite chef. Amber and other spices she couldn't name but that her heart immediately recognised as her "Mira, my Mira". Still cherishing that thought, she smiled to herself and rolled to the side and her eyes fell on Mira's nightstand where she spotted a book she kept gushing over for months...she remembered talking about it on Skype with her chef too. But she never told her that she actually bought it.

Jess moved closer and propped herself on her elbow to have a better look. She bit her lip as she opened it and saw that Mira used an Hartfeld postcard as a bookmark. A smile immediately formed on her lips as she recognised it: she sent her when she went back to college after Katie's wedding. She still remembered that day. Nicole and Audrey drove her back there -the salsa soundtrack they sang along with the whole ride haunted Jess for weeks -and helped her settle down. As soon as they left, she stopped by a souvenir shop and bought a postcard portraying the university quad with smiling students passing by. She went back to her dorm room and started writing it right away. When she finished, she remembered looking over her shoulder and since her roomie was nowhere to be found, grabbing her own lipstick, putting it on and pressing a kiss on the lower side. She immediately laughed at the silly, corny gesture picturing Mira's reaction: her Michelin-starred chef would have certainly either laughed it off or rolled her beautiful dark eyes at it. She sent it the day after on her way to class, as her heart tightened thinking that she would have not been able to see her girlfriend for a while and she missed her so much already. The bookmark was way past the half of the book, signalling that Mira devoted her days off to it. As she put it down, she made a mental note to ask her about it.

She was about to get up when she noticed the photos sitting beside the book. She sat up on the edge of the bed and her heart fluttered once more. In the first one Mira was standing knee deep in the ocean hugging from behind a visibly head over heels Saru. They must have taken it during the Portugal trip Mira mentioned once, judging by the Portuguese writings on the little boy's baseball hat. The sunset was already turning the sky of a dark red but you could still see the bright smile on Saru's face as his mom kissed the top of his head. The other one was a picture of her and Mira iceskating when she visited over the winter break. Blake and Carter joined too for "a former Nomande staff reunion" and they had such a great day: they drank cider, ate Christmas cookies and reminisced their time together on the Ember of the Sea. Then they went iceskating and that's when Carter started taking pictures and selfies while recklessly sliding trough the crowd. He even fell over Blake in a bad attempt to catch a surprise shot of him: the two ruined to the ground but couldn't stop giggling afterwards. The shot Mira framed must have been a lucky one: oblivious of the camera, they were just skating hand in hand smiling tenderly to each other. As if no one else was there, only the two of them.

Jess threw one last glance to the nightstand before moving to the bathroom to get a shower. When she was done, she headed to the kitchen following a mouthwatering lead.

"Goodmorning, sleepyhead"

Mira greeted her with a smile behind the kitchen counter.

"Eggs Benedict ready in...five" she announced, checking her watch as Jess wrapped her arms around her waist and nuzzled her shoulder.

"You were already up when I woke up"

"Yep, because in case you haven't noticed, you slept in this morning" Mira gave her an amused look. "But you have every right to do so: you're a graduate, now!"

"It still feels so unreal..."

"Blake called earlier, work stuff you know...but he asked me to tell you once more that he's so proud of you" the chef turned and place a kiss on the top of Jess's head. "We're all so proud of you, baby"

"Thanks, it means a lot" Jess said as her cheeks started reddening.

She had never felt so supported and appreciated since she met the Nomade crew. And of course, Mira. They all had a rocky start but as they got to know each other, they became the best friends -and girlfriend- Jess could have ever asked for. Her family was supportive too but it took them a while to realise that she was more than bubbly reckless Jess. Blake, Carter and Mira were probably the first not to see her as the stereotypical party girl: she was their colleague, Jess "the waitress" to them when they first met. Then she became responsible hardworking Jess and it felt...just natural. As if somewhere they inside they trusted her - or so Jess loved to think, it didn't have to be necessarily true - to be more than just another troublemaker who forgot she wasn't a teen anymore. Just like Katie, Alex and Nicole thought for well, basically her whole life or so they made Jess believe. Probably, all "the party twin" needed was a little bit of trust, someone finally believing in her, someone believing that she had potential. Jess was eternally grateful to Nana for that: she was the first to see that spark in her. The only one in the famiy, to be honest.

"How's Blake doing? I should give him a call too later" Jess changed the topic to break free from that train of thoughts.

"Oh he's good! He -pass me two plate, sweetheart, the eggs are ready- he was telling me about this new idea for the menu. He discovered a new family recipe and wanted to share it to see if we can make something out of it. He thinks that it could make a good entrée and I must say I'm not against it" Mira explained, serving their brunch.

They moved to the terrace and took a seat at the table. They talked about the restaurant's slow yet steady success that made Mira and Blake have high hopes for the future, of Carter joining a new dance crew and of Saru's latest obsession with sharks and any merchandise item related to them: underwear, books, scale models, movies... Mira asked Jess about her upcoming internship in San Francisco at Lean Myers's magazine: Jess didn't think she would actually agree to have her when she contacted her, she did it out of admiration for the former film critic: her reviews on FilmBuzz always gave her the best movie advice ever.

Jess's phone suddenly beeped and she chuckled as she checked it.

"It's Alex" Jess giggled.

"What does he say?" Mira asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tons of desperate emoji. It's getting worse with emoji lately...and...oh he's saying he's the worst brother ever cause he hasn't sent me the graduation gift he bought with Elena yet"

Jess smiled weakly at the phone.

"He said that he's so sorry that they couldn't make it to the graduation ceremony. It...it doesn't matter actually. They didn't have to worry about that and the gift, they're so busy..."

"No, he's right " Mira agreed, taking the last sip of her coffee. "Not about being the worst sibling ever maybe but his message reminds me that I have a thing for you"

Then she flashed Jess a smile and stood.

"Follow me" she said, offering her her hand.

Jess obliged and Mira led her back to her bedroom. She stopped on the threshold and turned to her girlfriend, who was looking around quizzically.

"Open the closet, Jess" Mira said, gently stroking her hair.

Jess gave her a confused look as she leaned at her touch but the look in her girlfriend's eyes only spoke of tender devotion.

She walked to the closet and opened it. To her surprise, since the last time she visited, Mira's clothes now took only half of it and half of the drawers were empty. In the first one she noticed a small envelope.

Jess gaped and turned to Mira who was leaning on the doorstep now and just nodded to signal her to proceed.

Jess opened it and a set of keys fell into her hands.

"Mira, what-" Jess covered her mouth with her free hand in surprise.

Mira moved closer and hugged her from behind. She placed a kiss on her temple before sighing and speaking again:

"I know we never really talked about it and I'm not asking you to move here with me right now, I know you're gonna start your internship in San Fransisco soon...but I don't want you to be just a visitor here. I missed you terribly when we parted and you left for school. It made me understand that I want you by my side. One day: you're starting your career and I don't expect it to happen in a week or a month, I want you to follow your dreams wherever they take you but I also want you to know that this is not only my place anymore. It can be yours too, it is yours too, no matter what. We decided to make it official, right?" a shy smile formed on her lips. "It just made sense to me: you'll be looking for a place to stay after your internship or maybe during holidays...just know that you can call this home, love"

Jess turned in her arms to look into Mira's eyes only to find the affection and adoration her favorite chef showed her more than once already. She didn't have to think twice: she threw her arms around her neck and pulled Mira in for a hard kiss as her eyes welled with happy tears. After the initial surprise, she returned it letting her hands slide oh Jess' hips.

When they parted, Jess buried her face in the crook of Mira's neck.

"Is that a yes?" the older woman laughed nuzzling her hair.

"Yes, ten thousand time yes! This...this is the best graduation gift ever. The best gift I have ever received in my whole life, Mira. I...I love you"

"I love you too"

"I just don't get it...why an hamburger? It doesn't sound like you" Jess asked, nodding to the keychain.

"You didn't figure it out, did you, graduate?" Mira teased her smirking.

"Hey, I earned my degree!" Jess protested.

Mira laughed softly.

"One day back at the Normade you told me to serve hamburgers instead of the dishes Blake and I put on the menu. You literally shocked me but in the end you were right: the clients were happy and returned the day after willing to try more complex food combinations. I learnt a thing from you that night and well, I may be studying a new addition to our restaurant's menu: I want to make an hamburger everyone would eat but special, experimental, something unique. I promise that you will try it before everyone else so you can tell me what you think. If it's not too corny, I would love to dedicate it to you"

"You really want to make me cry again, huh?" Jess embraced her again, making Mira smile softly as a he stroke Jess's back.

"Oh and that way we can have matching key chains. Well, almost" she added.

"You have an hamburger keychain too?" Jess gaped, not expecting anything like that.

"Oh no, mine has two charms: the Eiffel Tower and a bottle of champagne, but I would love to add a little hamburger" she giggled.

#choices july challenge #rules of engagement #mira banerji #mira x jess #playchoices #choices stories you play

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witchqueenofthemoon · 5 years

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BODY AND SOUL Part 1 (Duncan Shepherd/Mackenzie Stone Millory AU)

BODY AND SOUL MASTERPOST

Author’s Note: This is basically a Millory AU/Alternate Universe where Cody’s character Duncan from HOUSE OF CARDS meets a version of Mallory/Billie. I might eventually tie it into some kind of reincarnation arc/parallel AHS universe? Her name is Mackenzie Stone and I’ll illuminate more on who she is in time regarding her HoC character, but for all intents and purposes she is Mallory/Billie and Duncan is Michael/Cody. Part 1 is their fortuitous first night together. There is gonna be a LOT of smut in this fic, it’ll be some light plotty stuff but mostly them fucking on everything and looking super hot and dreaming about ripping each other’s clothes off in rooms full of important people. And a lot of stuff about their clothes. But mostly them touching each other with aching fingers and fucking. Please leave me feedback if you like it! Writing this was a big deal for me; it’s the longest bit of fiction I’ve written in a long time and the project will be the realization of an important goal for me this year.

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I send my soul through time and space. To greet you. You will understand.

--James Elroy Flecker, from To A Poet A Thousand Years Hence, 1910.

Love can be scary; not because of heartbreak or being left, but because it can consume you all at once. It’ll spread in your veins like the poison of a snake; it’s unstoppable and only when it’s too late, you’ll find yourself drowning in it. It’ll intrude your daily life, step by step until you find that love is everywhere you may go or look or even listen to. It’ll haunt you at night; in the morning; every time of the day, there’s no escape. Love will make you fear the person that has sparked this mess inside of you; overwhelming you with waves of emotions which will bring you to your knees. But in all of this, you’ll recognize the sensation of happiness, you’ll love the weakness and inability to control it. At some point you’ll crave it so much, that you’ll face your fear and walk to the other side of it - right into the arms of your loved one. And that’s when you know; love is just a hurricane that demands for you to face your fears.

--s.m.

The other morning I heard a woman on the radio describe her art, enormous conceptual installations that involve manipulations of breath and light. As she was explaining her process, this artist used a phrase I'd never heard before: "thin places." It's a Celtic concept, one that stems from an old proverb that says, "Heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller." In thin places, the folklore goes, the barrier between the physical world and the spiritual world wears thin and becomes porous. Invisible things, like music or love or dead people or God, might become visible there, or if they don't become visible they become so present and tangible that is doesn't matter. Distinctions between you and not-you, real and unreal, worldly and otherworldly, fall away.

The original thin places were wild landscapes because the idea was born in the heaths of Connemara, a place that's so austere and ancient, so full of twists and hiding places and divots a thousand years old, that it seems somehow likely you might poke a hole through to another reality. But the radio lady said that the delight of thin places was the unpredictability of their location. You can find them someplace with magic written all over it, like Connemara or the Himalayas, but they also pop up in dive bars, bedrooms, hospital rooms. They can appear and disappear.

--Thin Places, Jordan Kisner.

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Duncan let the wine glass hang limply from between the crook of his fingers. Even drinking felt boring among these dull people. He stared off into the night, leaning on the ledge, imagining dropping the glass down onto the head of an unsuspecting suit below as a bored smile played at the edges of his mouth, the cool early-summer air ruffling the halo of his curls. He didn’t know it, but his blue eyes appeared much darker than usual in the glow of the soft, round lights that lined the opulent deck. Roses adorned the balcony; row after row of dark red, richly in bloom, almost obscene in their beauty, defiantly organic, thrown against the careful architecture of a DC penthouse. They were, thus far, the only interesting thing here.

“Fuck,” he muttered, sighing and pulling one long-fingered hand through his hair, absently straightening his already perfectly pressed, perfectly tailored black blazer as the hand fell downward. One more hour and he could leave; he stared at his silver Cartier watch absently; his mother had insisted he make an appearance here for the benefit of several wealthy donors to the Foundation (“just let them stare at you for awhile, you know how people love to do that, reel them in,” she said with a dry smile, and he nodded at her, smiling in return, ever the obedient son), but she hadn’t said he need stay for the whole party, after all. Showing up, killing time for a few hours should do the work she wanted, and he’d already made nice with those in the room he recognized from charity balls and fundraisers and galas past. Now the long, slow clock-watch until 11 PM, when he could make a stylishly early exit.

He was lost in these thoughts of escape and duty, still staring out at the glittering affectation of the capital city, when someone gazing similarly into the night caught the corner of his eye.

It was the hair first; then her expression. Chestnut-honey waves cascaded down her back; a small band of gold adorned with six-pointed stars nestled into them against her head, giving her a strangely angelic glow in the dim light, the idea of a halo. She was small--she couldn’t be any taller than his shoulders--and that only with strappy, stiletto-heeled black sandals, twisting up her slender, smooth leg above her ankles, tied neatly in double-knots, at that. Double knots, he thought absently, I tie my shoes that way too. He blinked, eyes traveling up, falling on the black velvet babydoll dress she wore, bodice hugging her slender waist and small breasts, hiding the curves of her hips--I wonder what they look like, he wondered again absently, surprising himself with his immediate interest--up further to the incline of her neck and the dip of her clavicle, adorned with a gold circle that had several chunks of quartz crystals shaped into points along her smooth skin. What a beautiful piece, he thought. So unique. He felt an uncharacteristic tremor in his composure; and then he looked at her face. Her features were small and delicate; her lips slim and colored with a dark red that reminded him of the roses she was leaning against, brushed into her cheeks a soft blush that reminded him of evening sunlight on sand. Her eyes were darkly shadowed, long lashes framing wide hazel eyes that glinted with a strange combination of innocence and wisdom that startled him. On her wrist was another slender gold thing, an intricate woven cage of criss-crossing artistry that fell down her arm as she lifted her graceful hand and pushed an escaping wave of hair behind her ear; tiny crystal points hung from her ears. She grasped a small black clutch in her other hand (her nails were unpainted, he noticed, a rarity in DC society) and her face seemed lost, angry, sad, and bored at once, her small mouth pouting in a silent, secret disappointment, her lips parting to release an almost inaudible sigh as she absently touched the crystals around her throat. As his darkened blue eyes watched her, their glowing fascination invisible and unrealized yet to him, she finally seemed to notice she was not alone; her wide eyes traveled over the cascade of city lights, down through the roses, and into his.

He felt as though time stopped for a moment; how long the moment extended he could never be sure later, but it felt like a blink and an eon at once, as though something vast and previously immovable had fallen into its long-sought place. Her eyes were even more mesmerizing now that they were locked on him; he felt an obscure ache in anticipation of the moment she must inevitably look away.

“Hi,” he said quietly, and he couldn’t help but smile; he knew it had a strange effect on some people when he smiled, but it was almost involuntary; looking at her was a hand around his heart that had begun to press insistently, and he felt his cheeks burning; his jacket suddenly seemed too tight and he felt odd, dizzy, almost giddy; looking at her.

“Um, hi.” He saw the cloud fall over her gaze; she recognized him. He silently cursed in his mind, biting the inside of his cheek, a habit he’d acquired from a lifetime of being Annette Shepherd’s son. Maybe this was not going to go as well as he’d already begun to hope. He saw the way her head shifted, her mouth turning down at one corner, her hand coming around the opposite arm, hugging herself in a seemingly absent-minded impulse. Hugging herself away from Duncan Shepherd, notorious, infamous; but maybe also from the cool breeze that blew over them, smelling of roses and woodsmoke.

“I’m Duncan.”

“I know who you are.”

He smiled again at that; “Oh? And what have you heard?”

“Plenty. More than enough to know I shouldn’t be talking to you.”

He unleashed a light laugh at that; something about this petite, gold-adorned creature was absolutely intoxicating, as if she was touching him without any physical contact, whispering in his ear while she was speaking in a normal tone of voice. There was something else going on here; there was some kind of hidden current, he could feel it, like an electrical charge. It extended from the hot core of his belly to the blush of her, the sunset-gold of her. He’d only had one and a half glasses of wine, but he felt suddenly drunk. He longed to know what she smelled like, but she was still too far away. For a moment, he imagined what it would be like to run his hand along the skin of her bare arm; around the incline of her throat. His cheeks burned.

“I promise, I’m not that bad.”

She rolled her eyes at him and he couldn’t help it; he laughed a little again. He could see her steely introduction melt ever-so-slightly this time, her eyelashes fluttering down, the corner of her mouth turning up the tiniest bit, her lips pressing together to stifle her own smile. Her arms relaxed, coming to rest on the edge of the balcony once more.

He chanced to step toward her; she seemed hesitant, but she let him, watching him warily, the wind gently kissing her hair, fluttering the hem of her short dress; it was everything he could not to not look at the smooth skin of her thigh where it ended. He absently hooked a finger around his high, buttoned collar, feeling his throat clench in a second of uncharacteristic nervousness, the wine glass in his other hand mostly forgotten. He watched her eyes travel up and down his tall form; they stopped for a moment on his russet-brown curls, skirted around his intense eyes, flicked to his full lips with an embarrassed interest, to his adams apple and his tailored jacket and down his body, flitting to his tailored slacks (an ever-so-slight pause, almost unnoticeable, over his crotch) and Prada leather chelsea boots. She inclined her head, shyly, and despite her hesitancy, he could see her interest, her attraction, glowing under her skin like a light.

“I’d love to know your name. I promise, I won’t tell anyone,” he smiled at her again, knowingly acknowledging that they were both out here for a reason while the party raged inside--these people were awful--and his own proclivity to use DC socialites to his and his family’s advantage.

He saw her hesitate again, one small hand coming up to hold a tendril of her long chestnut hair, twisting it between two fingers, smoothing her lips together as though her lipstick weren’t already perfectly applied. He watched her swallow, lost in some silent internal struggle, for a moment.

“Mackenzie,” she said, leaning away from the balcony. He was only a few steps away from her now: he could smell the wave of scent coming off her, as delicate as the intricate gold jewelry she wore: vetiver (a scent he loved and would recognize anywhere, he thought with a thrill) and something else, a delicate flower more complex than the roses, and rarer. Geranium? He thought. How unique. Who is this angel?

“No last name?” He grinned at her, knowingly. “Or one you won’t tell me for a reason?”

“I’m an orphan, they found me on the doorstep of a church,” she replied, grinning back, and he found himself goggling at her loveliness, and the pressing feeling around his heart doubled down to an almost painful ache. “Oh, really?” He laughed again, dizzily, staring into her eyes. “I guess I can pretend I believe that for now. Sometimes it’s nice to play anonymous, I wish I could do it; in a city as tightly-knit as this one is, anonymity has eluded me.”

“I’m sure that happened to you through no fault of your own,” she replied in a biting tone, but he could see her smile, the rosy glow of her cheeks. And he knew that she liked him, or at least, liked the look of him. Duncan knew that he was objectively attractive; he had felt the hungry gazes of men and women alike hundreds of times before, but something about this woman, her eyes, her hair, her gold, her light, was filling him with an intensity of desire that felt like warm water running over the edge of a glass; his nerves felt like they were vibrating, his skin felt flushed, and he knew what he wanted with a sharp clarity; he wanted this girl. Badly. She was the most beautiful, the most luminous, the most intoxicating being he had ever seen.

A small silence stretched between them; he ached to know what she was thinking, for now she stared at him with a boldness she seemed to have sussed from his obvious interest in her; the exposed feeling settling under his skin was intensely foreign to him, and it made him wildly nervous. The fear that she’d disappear at any moment began to press at his temples; he felt unhinged, that he would do anything to get this girl, this angel, into his bed.

“...May I get you a drink?” He murmured to her, the aching edge in his voice taking him by surprise. His throat bobbed; he extended the fingers of his right hand slowly, almost unknowingly, towards the smooth skin of her arm. But he did not touch her. The air seemed to hum around them, a frequency of sound that was almost visible; he felt that they were somehow touching each other without touching, feeling each other somehow without any physical contact. The wind blew softly again, filling his senses with her smell, intoxicating and delicate. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss her, gazing at her lips.

She regarded him for another long moment; he could see her hesitation, no doubt kindled by a dozen or more Post articles about his family. But then something in her gaze shifted inexplicably, softened, opened, and she smiled again, dazzling him. A barrier seemed to have been breached; her eyes shimmered, and he felt the heat from them pierce into his heart.

“You may.”

He’d feverishly gone to the bar (bourbon, she’d said, shaking his heart again with desire), skirting around the attentions of a Senator who tried to speak with him, anxiously watched the bartender crush together the ingredients of two old fashioneds, the fear that she would no longer be leaning against the roses when he returned shaking his confidence with an icy grip, but as he slipped out onto the otherwise-deserted balcony once more, his body flooded with an intoxicating dose of relieved dopamine; there she was still, turning toward him with that glow, stepping against him slightly as she pulled the tumbler from his elegant, large hand with her finespun fingers, and he shivered at the first touch between them, filled with an overwhelming lust for more. He reached out with the other glass and clinked it against hers.

“To the mystery of first meetings,” he said impulsively.

“To familiar strangers,” she replied, and something about her words shook him strangely, coiling around them, loaded and full of hidden meaning. They both drank; Duncan watched her from the rim of his glass, taking a deep gulp of the whiskey to calm his buzzing nerves; she closed her darkly shadowed eyes, sipped, and when they fluttered open again, he noticed the lust that had settled in behind them for the first time.

“I’m sure people tell you this all the time,” she said, her voice soft and hazy in his ears, “but you’re very handsome in person.”

“Some do,” he said, stepping into her space, achingly close, watching her reaction; she did not move away from him, but stood very still, resting the drink against the wide ledge of the balcony, eyes focused on his face. “But rarely is it someone as beautiful as you are.” He set his drink down beside hers, the bourbon humming against his skin; being this close to her felt almost unbearable in its intensity. She tilted her head up, waves falling back, the crystals around her neck glinting in the glow of the fairy lights. Her face came only to the incline of his chest; perfectly level with the space in which his hands hovered for the throe of a moment before he could no longer resist temptation; he moved them so they came to rest against her small face on either side, in the delicate spaces between her chin and her ear with an imploring softness. He looked into her eyes for a moment, questioning; and he saw the lust there again, saw that she desired him too, and that was all he needed; he tilted his face and his lips fell on hers, hungry, starving, immediate.

The eagerness with which she returned his kiss filled the pit of his stomach with a wild ardency; he could taste the whiskey on her lips, smell her richness, the ache of her perfume and the musky scent of her body, and he wanted her with a desperation that felt like madness in the corners of his mind. She opened her mouth more to him; he kissed her more deeply, his tongue brushing against hers, his fingers stretching out to feel the delicate skin of her neck, moving there to caress her, causing a small moan to escape her that drove him absolutely to the edge. She was pressed against him now, her small hands flitting down his chest and stomach, causing warmth to pool in his cock immediately in anticipation and want; he felt he could drink her in forever and still not have enough, he wanted the scent of her all over him, wanted to feel her against him without the barriers of her velvet dress and his silk shirt, her skin on his skin everywhere. The kiss kindled in him a fire that burst into a blaze; the soft insistence of her lips was the first page of the book of her, and he wanted to read all of it; he wanted to devour her until morning tinged the sky.

They broke the kiss breathlessly, both breathing heavily, their faces still achingly close, and his hands were moving down across the skin above her small breasts under their velvet trappings, further down, around their round incline to the top of her waist where he grasped her under her arms, fervently, his fingers pressing into her insistently, holding her there, her warmth and weight and scent hovering around him like a crown encircling his head.

“Come to my apartment with me,” he whispered. She leaned into him, her lips falling on his again, and he shivered into her mouth, his composure fracturing, his red and burning lust falling into her and crashing against her. His strong hands held her there, in that delicate space under her breasts, and her head reached up to meet his full lips, tasting insistently. He felt as though she were weaving a spell into him, tying him to her with an invisible thread, touching a hidden place in his soul that he hadn’t even known was there. “Please.”

He felt her smile into his mouth; felt her small hands reach up to his face, trailing along the stubble that lined his chiseled jaw, pulling him down to her; “...yes”, she whispered into him, and he couldn’t stop himself, he laughed quietly into her again, delighted, full of desirous joy. He pulled away from her reluctantly, only to grasp the tumbler of bourbon and gulp from it again; he needed just a little more courage, just enough to make it back to the penthouse with this vision he feared would disappear in a flash of gold; she looked at him with eyes shining with excitement and perhaps the tiniest tinge of trepidation, grasping and drinking deeply from her own glass, and the edge of that feeling he wanted to erase; he longed to reassure her, hoped wildly that he could soothe her.

He grasped her small hand in his large one, intoxicated by the way they fit against each other, and led her, insistently but carefully, to the side of the balcony that led to a side-door to the stairwell leading to the street; a mutual desire seemed to pass between them to avoid any of the other guests seeing them leave together, and he laced his fingers through hers tightly, helping her down the two flights, stopping briefly as she pushed him against the cement wall, hurriedly kissing him again, capturing his bottom lip in her teeth gently, and he clutched her against him, moaning into her, his hands falling to the small of her back, one sliding against the velvet of her skirt, feeling the rise of her small, round ass through the fabric, igniting new desire in his groin and his head. God, he wanted her. He wanted her so fucking bad. She giggled into him, and the bourbon clashed against him with a short wave; he buried a hand in her golden-tawny hair, marveling at its silky cascade through his fingers.

“Come on,” he insisted, and they were finally at the bottom of the stairs, and he pulled his phone from his back pocket, absently using his free hand to call an Uber Black; the sidewalk outside was miraculously and mercifully almost empty of people besides a woman walking a dog across the street and a few cars passing by, headlights flashing momentarily before they moved on. Mackenzie--god, he loved her name, Mackenzie--leaned into him again, small hands on his belt, filling him with her scent and her closeness and her heat, and he wanted to push her into the wall and kiss her and touch every inch of her until she was breathlessly shaking with the edge of climax.

Their car pulled up with an almost supernatural quickness and quietness; the driver quickly forgotten as they pressed once more into one another in the backseat, Duncan snaking a hand around her neck to pull her against his mouth, her hand flitting over his cock, now painfully confined in his tailored crotch. “Oh god, Mackenzie,” he murmured into her, his other hand falling around the soft rise of her breast, gentle and insistent, “I want you so much.”

“God, shut up, just kiss me,” she laughed. He couldn’t help but laugh again with her; when was the last time he’d laughed like this? Laughed at all? He knew somehow it wasn’t just the bourbon making him light-headed. She had appeared out of nowhere and nothing, absolutely intoxicating, as though she were a being from another world. She was astounding; he was absolutely drunk on her.

They broke apart with loathe urgency as the driver pulled up to Duncan’s Georgetown high rise, and the blur of the next few minutes ran into an accelerated mix of running paint in Duncan’s mind when he looked back on it; they were in the elevator where he could see her tender mouth against him in the full-length mirror that made up one of the walls, her tiny body pressed against him, her hair falling in a glow, and it made his cock throb. The doors fell open and her pulled her fingers into his again, leading her gently down the hall to the tall black door of his penthouse apartment, fumbling with his keycard; her hand wrapped around his, steadying it, her lips pressing into his neck with a tenderness that made him groan, and they fell inside. Thankfully he’d left one lamp on by the slender leather couch; the better to see her by; the better to lead her into his bed. He picked her up--she was light as a feather and as soft as one too--and pressed her against the back of the door that had swung shut behind them, his mouth urgent on hers again; “you know--” she said breathlessly between his lips crashing against hers--”I don’t usually do stuff like this--”

“I’ll take that as a compliment--” he smiled into her, his hands winding up the skin of her thigh, pressing her down to the ground again, pressing ever-so-briefly against the softness between her legs, making her gasp. She dropped her clutch unceremoniously on the spotlessly clean polished wood; reached down to unknot her shoes in a marvelously cute almost absent-minded gesture, a wonderful, frustrated whine escaping from her mouth as she fumbled with them. “Here, let me help,” he murmured, and he knelt before her--his hands fell down the softness of her leg to the knot, and he felt her shudder with desire under his touch. He loved the way he was suddenly looking up at her from here, suddenly beholden to her whim; he wanted to make her feel fucking good, he wanted her to writhe with pleasure. He unknotted the laces of the sandal, freeing her small foot, thumbing the red stripes they had left on her ankles; he couldn’t stop himself, he pressed his lips against the redness, and felt her shiver under his touch again, breathlessly.

He undid her other heel easily; as she stepped out of them, he saw that she was even smaller, reaching only right about level to his chest; he wanted to hold her small frame against him with desperate longing. She reached out, pushing his blazer from his shoulders insistently, their swollen lips coming together again; “god, you taste so good,” he whispered into her, “you’re so beautiful, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen--”

She shushed him again, her breath humming on his lips, as if she was afraid of his words. “Take me to your room,” she insisted. He nodded, sure that he would do anything she said in that moment, her eyes so intense, dark and wonderful that he felt he could see into her soul through them, and pulled her into his bedroom, its black sheets and spread perfectly pressed and quiet, waiting for them. The side-lamp on his pristine nightstand was dimly lit; its glow cascaded over her, striking him with her loveliness once more; he pressed against her desperately, pulling the headband of stars gently from her head and setting it on the nightstand with reverence next to his exorbitantly expensive watch, kicking his shoes off as he clutched at her, once more filled with a terrible fear that she would disappear, eager beyond all words to be against her.

“Duncan,” she moaned into his mouth, “fuck me.”

He needed no more prompting; he pressed her gently but insistently down onto the immaculate spread, and she opened her legs, sidling their bareness against his clothed thigh; he pressed his lips into the softness of her neck as her fingers found the buttons of his high-collared shirt, undoing them expertly, freeing his torso from the suffocating confines; then they moved to his belt as she moaned under his mouth, his lips grazing the crystals that hugged her throat, pressing into the hollow between her breasts above the velvet of her neckline. She pulled his belt away with a snap; he flipped her over with concentration, and she gasped, the sound of it thrilling him so his cock pressed harder against his pants, painfully.

He carefully pulled the zipper at her back down, his mouth pressing between her shoulder blades now, grasping the cascade of her hair to the side so as not to get it caught; his hands went to undo her necklace’s clasp, but she murmured “no, I want to wear it while we fuck,” and the thought of it thrilled him; it seemed only natural that she’d wear it, it seemed intense beyond a normal object, cut against her like a second skin, a miraculous piece of jewelry that hummed with eroticism. He pulled at her dress; she flipped over with an agile sweetness as he did, slipping out of it, laying on her back so her breasts were now exposed to him, wearing only a pair of silk black underwear now, and he hungrily captured one of her nipples in his lips, sucking hungrily. She moaned again, this time more loudly; who was there to hear them now, indeed, and he groaned happily into her body, intoxicated with it. He leaned up once more to undo the button and zipper of his pants; as he kicked them off, he watched her hazy eyes, bright with lust, lave over the bulge of his erection under his black briefs; “take those off too,” she murmured teasingly, her playful smile driving him to the edge of desire again, and he obediently pulled them down, grinning at her, his cock springing out and causing a bubble of surprise to fall out of her mouth; “god, you’re fucking big,” she murmured, and pulled his long frame down to her insistently. His mouth was all over her now, moving down her ribs and belly button to where the black silk panties clung to her, wet with her desire now, and with his large hands he pulled them down and threw them to the side. Her sex was glittering with moisture and her pussy was smooth, hair shaved away; he pressed one long finger between her folds to the bundle of nerves he knew was nestled there, and she moaned again, this time long and loud and stretching into a groan of ecstasy.

He pushed her legs apart insistently and pressed a hard lick against her clit; she cried out with an involuntary spasm of pleasure, and he smiled with desire. “God, you taste good,” he moaned, before pressing his mouth flush against her, working his tongue into her with measured circles; but their eyes, his stormy blue with want, hers taking on an ethereal dark-green hue that both shook and amazed him, stared into one another as he did, and he could see the way she was unraveling in his fingers, his mouth filling her up and bringing her dangerously close to the edge. “I don’t want you to come yet,” he whispered, stopping, watching her body clench under him with the lack of his mouth, “I want to fuck you and I want us to come together, god, you’re so beautiful,” and she nodded and whispered “yes,” and hushed him with her mouth, the taste of her mingling in their mouths, her hand finding his painfully erect cock and using the precum that dripped from its head to smooth her hand up and down his shaft, rattling him into a wanton thirst to be inside her.

“Do you want me to?” He asked, gazing into her face, her cheeks flushed with cupidity, her body hot under his hands. He couldn’t believe she was here in his bed; he gazed at the crystals against her neck, against her ears, into her eyes, fluttering as they looked at him, god, she was so lovely, she made his heart quiver; she made him want to die.

“Yes, Duncan--fuck me.”

He moved and he was between her legs--he paused for one deep moment, the head of his painfully hard cock against her cunt, and then he pressed himself into her as his mouth pressed into her bruised lips again, one hand grasping her neck, the other grasping her hip, and they gasped into each other, the intensity of this connection overwhelming them both in a cascade of sensation. He moved, a rhythm building in his hips and his groin, and she cried out--”Duncan, fuck, Duncan, oh fuck, yes, fuck me hard, like that--” and he pulled her against him, their bodies flush against each other, sweat mingling, the scent of their sex and their perfume (his like smoke and cedar wood, hers heady and sweet) crashing together--he moved, pulling her upright onto him so her ass smacked against his knees and the hard length of his cock crashed into her again and again, her clit rubbing against his abdomen, her eyes rolling back in her head, his mouth leaving red welts on her perfect neck, her hair falling back and glittering in the light. She kissed him, grasping his stubble in her small fingers, kissed his forehead as he buried himself inside her, causing small entreating words to fall from his lips like a prayer, like a spell, a mantra; “Mackenzie, Mackenzie, Mackenzie, please, oh god, god--”

He felt his climax rushing forward, a wave that he wasn’t sure he could stop if he tried, and she moaned into him--”Oh god, Duncan, I’m gonna come, keep doing that, just like that--” And as she cried out in wild delight a moment later, her cunt convulsing down onto him, he exploded into her, buried inside her warmth, grasping her against him as though he could never bear to let go; the sweat on his brow mixing into the sweat that pooled at her throat, and his cock shuddered its release deep into her, pulsing and falling into tenderness and still very hard. They stayed that way awhile; panting, spent, holding each other, pressing soft kisses into each other’s flushed skin, his length still inside her, her cunt dripping down onto him, still pulsing.

She laughed, suddenly, gasping, and it thrilled his heart to hear it; “Wow, fuck, fuck.”

“Mackenzie. Fuck.”

“Duncan. Hi.” She laughed again. He nuzzled his face into her neck. She lifted her hips and his cock fell out of her, going limp after his release, a small bit of white cum dribbling out. They both collapsed beside each other, chests still heaving, hands absently entwining with each other. He turned his head to her; his was just a little below her, under the incline of her arm, and she smiled down at him, and her smile was unbearably lovely; he could see the beauty that was hidden from him and the outside world shining from her eyes, still clouded with her climax, and knew in that moment that she was going to be someone special to him; he just knew, like the clashing sound of a giant gong resounding into the universe, like a shooting star that only he could see.

“That was incredible. You’re fucking incredible.”

She shyly pressed a hand against his cheek and he turned his face to kiss her palm; she turned towards him, sidling her legs together with a overwhelmed sigh as her still-sensitive sex pressed against her thighs.

“You’re pretty incredible yourself. And fuck, this penthouse. This is insane. Your cock is just...gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.” She blushed, locks of wavy hair falling over her shoulder against her breasts. Their hands still pressed into each other, feeling each other’s fingers softly, feeling each other’s veins, wrists, the soft pads of each other’s fingerprints. “But I meant what I said. I...I really don’t usually do stuff like this. This is....really unexpected.”

“I know what you mean. Mackenzie, you’re…” His eyes fluttered; he realized with a wave of intensity how tired he was, how much their fucking had exhausted him, body and soul.

“Mackenzie.”

She yawned; he wanted to grasp her to him, cradle her in his arms. He couldn’t understand what was happening; he wanted them to fall asleep together. That’s all he knew, all he could decipher. He wanted her to sleep in his bed until the sunrise kissed it and blessed them.

“Hmm?” Her eyes had fluttered closed, a small smear of eyeshadow, mussed in their passion, streaking away across her temple. He pressed the pad of his thumb there, wiping it away.

“Stay here with me tonight. Please?”

Her eyes fluttered open for just a moment; he was astonished to find he could still see that strange, hidden something still nestled inside them. That secret thing that seemed to be only for him. And then she said “okay”.

He pulled the coverlet over them so it was folded over the sheets; he couldn’t bear to disturb her again as her eyes fell closed once more and her breathing slowed to a soft whisper. He soon fell asleep himself, their hands still clasped together, her small, slender fingers entwined in his large, long ones. And the moon rose over them in the window, and the night fell away. Slowly, as they slept there together, a deep sleep that neither had experienced in a very long time, dawn came.

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improbablecarny · 5 years

Text

The Best Good Parts of Ghostlights

As according to me

The second half of the story that began with The Mystery of Time, Ghostlights is a promise of similar bombast, excitement, and generally killer music that sure ghosts my lights. ... Is that anything? No? Whatever. Let’s get on to the part we all actually care about:

The spooky skeletons.

Or, you know, the music:

Storyline: The Antiquarian’s shop has burned down, the little clock is as enigmatic as ever, and Aaron Blackwell realizes that the scientists he’s found himself entangled with are really a cult set on controlling the passage of time... and the minds of all at its mercy.

Quick Notes:

Character name changes! The Nobleman is now the Magician, the Antiquarian is now the Mystic (I think he’s the same dude, anyway).

The story is a little harder to follow now, as we’ve done away with the journal entries. However, there’s still a good amount of character interaction, you can suss out a thing or two. What do you think?

There isn’t as much orchestration this time, but the trend of cool, time-themed sound design continues, so keep an ear open.

You know the drill. Official playlist. Stuff it in your earholes.

Mystery of a Blood Red Rose

The Meatloafification is complete. Literally: this song was written for Meat Loaf, who ended up passing on it despite initial positive reception. Ah, well.

This is also the song entered to Eurovision, putting Avantasia in the running to become the German representative. They did not win. Ah, well.

Those points aside, this song really rules. It’s upbeat, catchy, and has a lot going for it.

“Don’t have no TIIIIIME TO WAAASTE”

*choir* BRING ON THE NIGHT

...”while the HOUR DON’T WAIT FOR A BLINK TO CRAM THE PAST” (yes!... what?)

LET THE SCENT OF A POISONOUS ROSE TEMPT ME AWAY

“BOY REACH OUT FOR WHAT IS DUE!” legiterally thought was Bob Catley. Was Tobi. A+

....we’re OFF INTO THE MOOOOOONSHIIIIIINE

Let the Storm Descend Upon You

Big dramatic piece, soaring and mysterious with multiple vocalists... including the return of Jorn Lande as a spirit known as “Temptation”, or as I like to think of him, “Stupid Sexy Satan”.

“Light... breathe and sleep tight...” fakeout prechorus getting me hyped

“It may be your vault... NOW IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“Oh that’s where I’ve been too... there’s nothing but a void over the sanity of foooools!”

Now the CHORUS FOR REAL: bright, almost gospel-esque 🤘😩🤘

“LIGHT... bring me the LIGHT!”

“I will bring uncertainty on a silver plate / like a mantlepiece / I will wipe out darkness!”

“Night! / BLESSED IS THE NIIIIIIiiIIIght!!!”

The “and I Will Make You Mine” lines first sung by Jorn and then Ronnie are both so wickedly ominous I love it

I said the chorus was fantastic in general but there’s something in particular about the last couple lines that musically always makes me go bonkers

THE BREAKDOWN

“For all the world will see it... tower to the stars...” Ronnie’s ACTING

“Let the storm descend upon me / let aurora fall upon me!” AARON...

Jorn does a Jorn thing, it’s badass, so it goes

The whole thing is badass, really.

The Haunting

Look out, Dee Snider is a spooky ghost on our next Sinister Theatrical Evil Guy song!

Again nailing the atmosphere. This is a “running through my mansion halls in a nightrobe holding a candlestick wailing as I’m chased by ghosts” song

S̺͚͙L̯̕E̞̞̼͙̤͝E̗P̟̖̣̟̣̝͉ TI͎G͖̥̭̦͈͉H̤̙̫̤͞ͅT̹͍̫͘ ̧̪͔̥͈S̫͕̱̼͖̮̞O̙̱̥͚̠͎͉M̤̥͔͠E̵̫̗͓̝O͙N̩̫̲E̞̯̱̩̞̣̟’͖S̵̺͖ ̺͍̼́A̖L̜̪WA͡Y͇̫͓̩̟̺͘S̝͇̬͇̟ ҉͓̘͍̯̣̗B͕͇̪͍̥͓͉̀Y͓̭̹͢ ̴Y̼O̰̥̯̭̻͍̖͠U͚̪̭̬̯R̘ ͈S͏̗̣̖̻͈̖̤I̸͎͎̟DͅE̮̺͍̠͙

“Don’t you waste your time to try / and understand this figment of the night” + crazy cool background instrumentals

This song is like if the Trans Siberian Orchestra’s thing was Halloween instead of Christmas

S̱͔̤̟̹̺͞W҉̭E̜̲̟̱̹͇ͅE͓̝̙͖ͅT̟̭ ̲͚̥̩͖͙͍D͔Ṛ̴͖̗̠E̬͝A̭͚M̖ͅS̴̪̲̙ͅ ̱̲͙̼̤S̲͎̖͈̝Ę̜̼̞̠̳̠͖E͙ ̺̗͎̞̞͍̫Y̛͖̭͔̠̭̜O̧̭̫͓̖͖̦U̘̯͘ ̳̦̼̯̘͉͝IN҉͔ ̡̥̯̥̳T̵͇͚͈̻̺H̶̫E̛̖ ̝̪̤̘T͚W̭I̛̼̦̣̘͉L̖̬̳̱̘̱IG̦͇̣̟͕̯H̤̱͎̦̳̝T ̜͕̻Z̠͍̣̩̥O͓̖̹̪̖͖ͅN̦͙̩̥͓͘E̷͓͓̬̮ͅ

😱: God I must contain my wayward fantasy!

👻👻👻: AHHH Ahhhh ahhh!

“I’m the spark they refuse to conceive...” DRAMATIC PIANO

Seduction of Decay

Hello, Geoff Tate. Welcome to Avantasia!

Cool instrumentation!

“You... m̠̻͉A̴̟Ý̳͖͍̱ ͍̦͠N͏̣̮O͇̘͕͖͈͘T̨̞̫ ̼̹̖̮͕̺F̞̩̼͇̯͓͎É͉̫͖È͖̞͎͇L͇̥͚̯̲ ҉̰I̘̰̪̪͓͖̱T͎̱͕̩ ”

This is a slower-paced one but it’s cool to chill out to when you’re in the right mood.

Ghostlights

Wait, we’re four songs in, it must be time for: the Michael Kiske power metal anthem!

“I don’t know if I’m right or wrong! I don’t know if I shall go on!”

“MINDS fly FREE when the gates fly open! Walk on through...”

⛈ “THUNDER AND RAIN AND THE WIND IN MY FACE” ⛈😭

“GHOSTlights DANCE will you HEED the TOKEN??? Blaaazing LIGHT...”

“BLINDING MY EYES GET ME OUT OF THIS MAZE!”

Time signature changes in the chorus... whew

“Fireworks surround me... wherever they GO THEY TELL ME always home!”

Sudden Jorn!

THEY. CALL. ME. HOOOOOOME

Draconian Love

You shed draconian love, you shed draconian love 🎶

Taking a hard turn into goth with Herbie Laghans, revealing to the world that he has a deep liquid chocolate voice apparently

“Tell me how should I embrace? / Like roses we’ll wither on the vine” 👀

HEY HEY HEY

The whole “infiltrate us with mercy” verse is Big Sexy

“Of an unbred cause / an unborn will / whatever THAT MAY MEEEEEEAAAAANN”

The last chorus and pre-chorus? Yes???

Seriously, does Herbie sing like this anywhere else ever?... Can he do it more?

Master of the Pendulum

There wasn’t a Sinister Theatrical Evil Guy song on TMoT so Ghostlights gets two

This one has Nightwish’s Marco Hietala, being crazy good at being a Sinister Theatrical Evil Guy (Ronnie also slays it in live performances)

SUPER cool atmosphere, the Watchmaker is wild.

“Tick-Tock Tick-Tock SOMEONE’S WATCHING OVER ME”

Catchiest chorus EVER

“That’s WHO I AM! I’m the MASTER of THESE haaaands...!”

“I feel your breath on my neck / I feel you behind my back / and as I’m turning around there’s just this frightening sound” 😱😱😱

“I feel it EVERYWHERE... oh I KNOW that you’re there....” 🕯👀

Alternating vocalists on the second run at the chorus!

The interlude with all the clocks ticking argh it’s SO COOL! SO COOL!! STOP BEING SO COOL!

MASTER OF THE HANDS THAT PUSH YOU!

Isle of Evermore

Sharon den Adel is here, it’s a sad ballad.

I like the weird quality to this one. The electronic quality to it reminds me of the intro to Savior in the Clockwork as well, it seems to be a way of representing dreamscapes in this duology, which is interesting.

Float away on Sharon’s voice... sail away through that opening door...

Babylon Vampyres

“A lot of good advice nobody’s keeping for themselves!” is a mood.

“The future ahead is not what it used to be” Tobi keeps using that line and it wrecks my shit every time

“BABYLON IS BURNING... SHINING FROM AFAR!

BABYLON IS BURNING... FROM SUNSET TO SUNRISE!

BABYLON IS BURNING AND YOU’RE GLOWING LIKE A FIERY STAR!

AND no one can tell... if we’ve been for real...”

Tobi and Rob’s tradeoff

The “Ever since I could remember...” passage

Lucifer

Beautiful mournful ballad, intense emotion, will melt some faces

Jorn as the embodiment of temptation is nothing new after The Wicked Trilogy but I think it’s interesting how his character takes a sympathetic turn in this one

“Morning star embrace me on these grounds” the plaintive desperation... INTO it

He WILL Take You Home Tonight

“I’ll make you fume with fury and rage / I’ll make you see what you’re made of tonight” 🤘😏

The last “TOUCHING THE FLAMES TONIGHT” dueting

Unchain the Light

That intro sounds like revving machinery. MUSICAL PICTURES. Have I said “this is SO COOL” enough yet?

The Kiske/Ronnie/Tobi tradeoff chorus is DIVINE

The second verse... I LOVE this character! Jesus CHRIST!

The “you look above to see inside yourself / and find time standing still” part... Aaron’s character turn...

“You turn this moment into what you think it ought to be / DEMYSTIFY THE DAAAAARK”

Great energetic climax. Just. 😭

A Restless Heart and Obsidian Skies

UGH THIS SONG. Again closing the album on a Bob Catley note, but this one is not 10 minutes long for once.

Beautiful beautiful denouement. 😭

The part after the first verse in the instrumental when you can hear time restart 😭😭😭

“Tender feet on stony ground” 🥺

“Sacred heart will you usher me now” 🥺🥺

The whole-ass chorus

“Wake to the SHADOWWW OF A DREAM / NOTHING’S what it seems!” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Ghostlights and matter / you know what is real / perception and facts all the same / truth’s what you feel” 🥺🥺😭😭

The whole “and the wind and the rain...” part

This song kills me based on what I think is happening in the story, the atmosphere, the melody, the everything

Cloudy’s “WE’RE UNDER OBSIDIAN SKIIIIEES” rip in the outro chorus 🤯

Bonus Track: Wake Up to the Moon

For a little bit of reference, I have “Wayward child / Wake up to the moon” tattooed to my leg.

This is a bonus track that seems to work as a thematically-related-but-out-of-character credits song, and yet is ALSO a sneaky Moonglow prologue! 💫

The driving melody in the verses... the continual Tobi/Jorn/Kiske/Ronnie/Bob tradeoff... 10/10

“Strange and magic, hear us CAAAAALL YOUR NAME” is a GOOD melody

And there we have it. The end... or the beginning? The past, or the future, or the present itself? Whatever it is, it’s fucking awesome. Thanks for hitching a ride with me, and see you next time!

Cast List:

Tobias Sammet as Aaron Blackwell Jorn Lande as Temptation Michael Kiske as The Mystic Ronnie Atkins as The Magician Robert Mason as Scientist I Geoff Tate as Scientist II Herbie Laghans as Eclipse Dee Snider as Nightmare Marco Hietala as The Watchmaker Sharon den Adel as Muse Bob Catley as Epiphany

#avantasia #ghostlights #metal #music #avantasia breakdown blog

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matrixaffiliate · 5 years

Text

Like the Storybooks

Co-written with @hufflepuffmarlenemckinnon

FFN and AO3

Chapter 23

Marlene sat pensively looking out the window, her book long fallen from her fingers. Her Majesty looked what some would call serene if it weren't for her insistent pacing. Their Ladies in waiting had made a valiant effort to distract them. Emmeline even sang a bit and managed to coax Marlene to join her. But singing brought little comfort when her safety required she be kept prisoner, and that she had no way to know if cousin and her husband were safe.

The door latched and Marlene turned, expecting the head of the Royal Guard, but her heart soared as her eyes beheld James and Sirius.

Marlene flew to her husband and threw secrecy to the wind as she kissed him passionately. Let them talk, she had no use for the affairs of Court anymore.

When Sirius pulled back she could see something was very, very wrong. His eyes looked haunted again, but his whole frame seemed as if it would crash under the weight of whatever burden he currently carried.

Sirius sighed and looked up at James, "By your leave, your Majesty?"

James looked up from Lily, whom he held tightly against him, "Of course, I'll see you in the Council in an hour."

Sirius nodded and took Marlene's arm. They walked quietly to their rooms and with each step Marlene seemed to see Sirius sink deeper.

When the door finally shut behind them, Marlene pulled Sirius into a chair and knelt before him.

"Sirius, love, what's wrong?"

Sirius leaned forward and ran a hand along her face. Marlene reached for it and held it to her cheek as she stared at his haunted expression.

"We received a letter from my brother."

"Regulus?" Marlene didn't bother to hide her shock.

Sirius nodded and sighed heavily, "He had been working to undermine Riddle and our mother. However, he learned that Riddle's spy in our Court was Peter. Apparently, the idiot sacrificed himself to give us the time to act now. We hope to march for Semprapuria on the morrow."

"Oh, Sirius," Marlene rose from the floor to wrap her arms around him. Sirius pulled her into him and held her tightly in his lap as his breaths became shallow.

Marlene had grown accustomed to being compared to a fairytale over the years. She accepted the truth in it in herself and knew to some extent that these parallels existed in her husband as well. But she had never been so acutely aware of it as the moment when she first beheld Sirius, in full armor, on a white war horse, calling his men to arms. He was breathtaking; more compelling than any of the knights of legend and myth.

He'd gotten the attention of the crowd and then he began speaking.

"Many of you woke from your beds this day under the assumption that you had time. Each one of you had the experience of learning that wasn't the case. You may feel unprepared to march upon Semprapuria. I am here to tell you that you are in good company. Perhaps more than anyone, I had longed to delay the inevitability of taking up arms against Semprapuria. Because for me this is more than a battle, it is a journey home."

Marlene heard the last words from his mouth and took in a short breath. This was the secret he had clung to as protection for the past seven years. Saying those words took a different sort of bravery than leading these men into battle, and she couldn't help smile with pride. Her husband was so much more than a real-life knight in shining armor.

"I have a confession to make to you, my men, upon this eve of battle.

I am not who you think that I am. My name is Sirius Orion Black.

By sunset tomorrow, I will be dead or I will be the Duke of Semprapuria, a position my forefathers have held for generations before my mother, the traitor Walburga, decided to declare herself a queen.

Today I will lead you into my home and rip that phony crown off that evil snake's head. Tomorrow we bring King James's lands back together, but today, today my friends I am terrified.

I am, first and foremost a soldier in His Majesty's army. Am I not meant to be brave? Yet I cannot stand in front of you all and tell you that I am not afraid. I can, however, promise you that no amount of fear will hold me back from doing what needs to be done, for King James and for the good of Phoenixordo!"

Marlene looked on as he drew his sword and held it to the sky and he declared his loyalty. The pounding of her own heart was surely echoed in the chests of everyone present. She couldn't even find it in herself to care that ten thousand men were currently almost as enamored with her husband as she was. He had earned their love and hers. Besides, it was her bed that he'd be returning to, she reminded herself.

After the crowd had a moment to breathe, Sirius spoke again, this time much more casually.

"Now, if my men will excuse me, I have a wife to bid farewell."

She hadn't been expecting him to bid her goodbye in front of his army. But Sirius rode to her, sword resheathed and armor glinting in the morning sunlight. He stepped from his horse with a grace that could match her own, before striding up to her with an air that would bring any Lord or Lady to their knee. Marlene was vaguely aware of Emmeline stepping back, as Sirius' gauntleted hand touched her waist. If Marlene had at any one time been aware of her small stature, this was that moment. Sirius seemed to tower over her.

"Be well my love, it is for you I ride." And then his lips were on hers and Marlene had to concentrate incredibly hard on not collapsing on the spot. She had not been prepared for nearly anything where Sirius was concerned, but seeing her husband assume his role as the King's right-hand man, the Duke of Semprapuria, the leader of armies, had floored her perhaps more than anyone else in attendance. But she was a Princess, and she would not allow for herself to be viewed as anything less than the woman worthy of this man, so she stood her ground.

When Sirius pulled back, the smirk on his face told her he knew exactly what he was doing, to both her and the King's army.

"You told me once, that you would wear my favor. I've been working on it since." Marlene pulled from her sleeve's inner pocket, the embroidered gold material, made from a scarf that had belonged to her mother.

Sirius took the carefully crafted favor in hand. "I shall keep it close to my heart while I am away, my Princess."

"Do come home to me," Marlene grasped his hand as he removed his gauntlet to take her favor.

"It is with every intent of my heart to return to victorious to you, Marly." Sirius brought his hand to her face. "But…"

"Speak not of such things," Marlene brought her fingers to his lips. "I will wait for you, whether it be here victorious or till death doth come to call me to you, I will wait."

Sirius kissed her hand, and Marlene could feel her tears threatening. "I love you, with all my heart I love you, Sirius." She whispered fiercely.

"And I love you, Marlene." He kissed her passionately and Marlene knew if he didn't leave now she would ruin his whole display by breaking down in front of his entire army.

"Now ride, Your Grace," she pulled away and stood dramatically, in the rays of the rising sun, "And lead our King's army to victory."

Sirius smirked at her, but he replaced his gauntlet and jumped on his stallion in one swift motion. Then he pulled his sword from its sheath and galloped to the front of the cavalry.

"For Phoenixordo!" He shouted, and the army roared with him as he charged ahead into the rising sun.

Marlene watched her heart ride off without her, and it wasn't until she was locked safely in her new room in the Royal corridor that she stopped fighting the threatening tears and cried like a child, curled on her very cold bed.

#sirius x marlene #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #blackinnon fanfiction #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #jily #medieval au #medieval fantasy AU #fake relationship au

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snk-warriors · 6 years

Note

If you write for Armin as well, would a-z be alright? Thank you in advance if you accept ^^ if not, thats fine too!

Hey Anon!

I guess you mean the Fluff one since I got your ask immediately after posting it? If not, just tell me and I’ll do the NSFW one too. XD

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Armin loves to spend quiet evenings with his s/o. He’ll always have some books he finds fitting for you, and sitting in front of a chimney while reading together and cuddling up to each other under a big blanket? It’s heaven for him.

On the other hand, he would never turn down any of your suggestions, even if it’d be stuff like clubbing or even things like skydiving. He wants to get to know everything about your hobbies and does want you to be able to do things you like even during the relationship.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Really admires their eyes. He believes they’re the portal to the soul, and every time your eyes meet he sees things beyond comprehension in them. Can’t describe how beautiful they are - they’re just sucking them in.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

I can picture him being be a very good listener, since he probably learned about some conversational techniques. You get as much cuddles as you want to, but if you need some time for yourself he’s also fine with it.

If it’s to comfort you, he’ll always find the right words: Tells you how wonderful and strong you are, and helps you looking back at what things you already went through. Stays with you for as long as you need.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

I think he’d enjoy a quiet, peaceful life together with you: A small hut in a beautiful village, where he probably does some research work, making many people happy with his inventions. You’d also be able to pursue your dreams, and life will be fullfilling for both of you. Even though you’ll both be successful at work, you’d still have enough time for each other.

He never knew his parents, and I don’t think he ever thought about having children of his own before. But when it comes to you, he can picture having a small family - maybe adopted, if biological isn’t possible. It’s not a must, though.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Is a rather passive one, but he’s really comfortable in that position. Will be very upfront about his concerns, even though he likes you to take the lead.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Most of the time, Armin isn’t the one who starts a fight - or he does it without intending to. Always tries to be clear-headed during confrontations and listens to your point of view. Will then sit down and talk through it with you like adults.

Even when you’re not wanting him to, he’ll apologize, always seeing himself at fault.

I can imagine him being like:

You: “Armin, you apologize way too much!”

Armin: “I’m sorry. Oh…”

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s not the best at expressing his gratitude because he gets flustered so easily, but he admires every little thing you’d do for him. Even if it’s just a small note or you cooking his favourite lunch, he always starts with saying something like he doesn’t deserve this much attention.

Always feels the need to repay you a thousandfold.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Since he trusts you unconditionally, he’d be very upfront about his worries and sorrows. About the first time having killed a man, and how it still haunts his dreams.

Yet he’ll also tell you about the bright side of his mind: Of his dreams, the images of the sea - his love for you.

To you, he’s an open book.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

His s/o will sure help him overcome his self-consciousness. In the beginning, he’d doubt if he’s good enough for you or if you really are serious with him, but after a while, the only thing he’ll feel is pride about having such a wonderful partner. You’ll help him see beauty in the world again after all those fights, and that the things he has done matter. He’ll be able to take more risks and try out new things together with you instead of the stuff he’s used to. Is more brave in general.

On the other hand, he’ll support your dreams too and will help you achieve them. If you were not into reading before, you’ll be just a short time after being with him. He always has some books he’d suggest you to read, since he’s not ashamed of sharing his hobby with you. The two of you will probably learn a new language together.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Deep inside, he always feared you leaving him for another man. Especially his best friend Eren, even though he knows Eren would never hit on his s/o. Yet his low self-esteem makes even this intelligent boy having illoical thoughts.

Because he’s so insecure, you’ll need to reassure him how much he means to you many times. He lowkey feels bad for bothering you so often, but is also very grateful for you understanding.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Is a bit sloppy at the beginning, since he has zero experience. But he’ll get better as time passes.

Isn’t really into heavy making out sessions, so he doesn’t really like to tongue kiss. Loves gentle, romantic kisses. He has really soft lips.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

When it comes to you, he’s not good with words. Will get reduced to a stuttering mess. So he comes prepared, and will confess his love symbolic.

At first, he’ll get you to a nice, quiet place where you can be alone and the right mood comes up. Maybe a grassy hill at sunset. Will just hand over a letter to you, where he tries to explain his feelings to you, even though his first sentence was that words could not describe how much he values you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

This is the first time he’s ever been in love with someone, and it should sure stay something unique. So he knows from the beginning that you’re the only one he wants to spend his life with!

He wouldn’t seem like someone who values things like marriage to begin with, but even though he’s a man of science and rationality, he’s also a very romantic guy. Ever since he was a child he wanted to one day have a dreamlike marriage.

His proposal would be very cheesy, and he’d include many flowers. The ring will be something special and individually, reminding you of a certain event in your relationship or being a symbol for something important to you.

Makes a long speech, starting at your very first meeting and counts every important moment and what he loves about you until he finally gets to the point. It sure will begin very awkward since it’s the most important moment in his life so far, and he’ll have one hell of a stage fright -but that’s what makes him so adorable after all!

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Just your name, because it sounds like music in his ears. Sometimes darling.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Blushes 24/7 whenever your eyes met. Loses his ability to talk when you try to have a conversation with him. At first he always tried to avoid you, or just walked away when your flirting attempts overchallenged him. Feels bad for making you feel like he’s not interested.

His friends will easily notice how he’s even more of a mess than usual every time things have to do with you. Will need and get as much help by his friends as possible.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Is just too pure and wholesome. Will easily get flustered, but would never reject any hug or kiss coming from you. Some comments made by other people make him insecure, but your affection is just too good to care about that.

All in all, as long as the two of you are together, he’s comfortable no matter what.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Can promise you a fullfilling, peaceful life. With him, you’ll have a deep connection and a relationship on a philosophical, poetically level. He’ll help you grow and understand yourself better. Will support you in every way.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’d be some kind of theatre and poem nerd. Expresses his love through written words and small gestures. Would also do some things considered “cliché”, but he once read about them and found them endearing.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Armin sure knows how to encourage you. He will find words so touching that you just can’t doubt yourself anymore.

Whatever he can do to support you - he will do. But he knows you don’t want to be dependant on anyone, so he’ll only suggest helping you, saying he’s always there for you whenever you need him.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s up for new things, but he prefers the routine. As long as he gets to spend his days together with you, he doesn’t mind trying out different stuff.

Yet due to all the horrible, terrible things he witnessed and has gone through, he likes the normal, casual days. Waking up next to you, doing chores and housework together. Maybe some training. Eating lunch, hanging out on the afternoon. Many cuddles in between the whole time. It’s his own personal definition of heaven.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Oh, Armin is very good at reading people. It only thousandfolds with his s/o. He wants to know everything about you, and he’ll realize even the slightest mood swings. Sometimes you think he knows you better than you yourself.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

To him, the relationship is the most important thing in his life. He’d do anything to protect it.

Sure, there’s also his friends and his duty to serve humanity, but you’re his number 1. You are the reason he wants to come back alive - he promised you. He’ll help save the world and then live the happy life together with you, just as planned.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Writes poems about you in secret, since he is too afraid you wouldn’t like them. One day, you’ll accidentally stumble across them - and tell him how much you love them! Ever since then, you get your own, unique poem on every anniversary.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Armin will get very nervous with any kind of intimacy, so in the beginning even holding hands will include sweating palms and a highly red head.

But he still loves every occasion to be close to you, and as soon as he overcame his shyness he’ll use every chance he can get to show his affection - even in public.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’ll have a pocket watch with a picture of you in it, and he wears it around his neck - always near his heart. Whenever he misses you, he’ll just take a look.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Armin sure is willing to do anything in his power to make you happy - the only problem is that he often just doesn’t know what to do in certain situations. Asks his friends for advice since he’s lacking experience.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK #Attack on Titan #AoT #Armin Arlert #Colossal Titan #Romance #Character x Reader #Anon #Self Insert #HC #Headcanon #Fluff #Fluff Alphabet #Writing

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lilyloumustdie-blog · 6 years

Text

My Chemical Romance

Yes, I’m an emo piece of crap, and a Tumblr fanatic. No, I just started this Tumblr because it’s a class project. I never plan on using this for anything else other than for the sake of my grades.

I might as well use this to my advantage though. Here’s my favorite band, and honest opinions I have about them. I’ll try not to seem biased just because I’m head over heels for this band.

My Chemical Romance is an amazing band. Definitely the greatest in this century so far. Not a single album was a let down to me, and so far, I haven’t heard of any disappointment about any of their albums or compilations. I take that as a good sign, but I’m open to criticism.

Albums:

“I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”

It’s an interesting concept. A bunch of dysfunctional romances portrayed by this one man and one woman (no names given). I think it’s a little messy though. It’s all over the place, the arrangements seem a tad bit mashed-up, as if they didn’t know what they were doing. Which at the time they didn’t. But the raw vocals and the thought-provoking and darkly poetic lyrics make everything so much better. Sometimes the lyrics don’t make much sense to me, but looking them up helps in comprehending. Originally, my favorite song off of this album was Demolition Lovers. It’s definitely the strongest song, but I think it’s gone have to go up against Our Lady of Sorrows and Early Sunsets Over Monroeville.

“Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge”

WHAT’S THE WORST THING I CAN SAAAAYYY-about this album? It’s so great, I love how the tempo switches in “I Never Told You What I Do For A Living”. "’m Not Okay (I Promise)” had started a new wave of rock and roll. “You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison” will definitely get you excited to jump around and scream at the top of your lungs. “The Ghost of You” definitely like a ghost, there are lyrics that really just haunt your very soul, along with Way’s vocals. The opening and closing riff for “Thank You For The Venom” is the catchiest riff ever. It’s very Iron Maiden-like. The whole album has styles derived from bands like Iron Maiden, Misfits, Motorhead, Nirvana, with Smashing Pumpkins being the most notable. The concept of this album was to continue the storyline created in their first album. As the band had stated “The story of a man, a woman, and the corpses of a thousand evil men.” The final song seems to be the one that relates to the story most. I’m not sure I can say anything bad about this album because honestly, I haven’t seen any flaws. I can say though that it is a matter of opinion and I’m sure lots of people dislike this album because of how I guess “hardcore” and “punk” it is.

“The Black Parade”

Undoubtedly MCR’s greatest album. it doesn’t have to be your favorite, but you have to accept that it is considered to be one of the greatest albums of the century. Hell, the lead single and their biggest hit “Welcome To The Black Parade” was voted on MTV as the best music video of all time, beating the likes of Lady Gaga and other famous musicians. This album was era-defining, and it brought the band to the mainstream. Hits like “Teenagers” became an anthem to several people and gave them the opportunity to do a world tour. A successful one at that. “Sleep” was the song where Gerard had put his vocals to the test, and it’s honestly, the best of his vocals. “Famous Last Words” being my favorite song by the band (probably because it was the song that started it all for me) had definitely proven to have several meanings. Whichever meaning Gerard intended, still hard-hitting. This is even my go-to song on guitar. This album was a rock opera album, and is loved by many. I think you should check this album out if you haven’t yet, there is no other album like it.

“Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys”

Ahhh, the final glory days of MCR. Their last album, and certainly their most controversial one. If in their past two albums they were a concern because the media thought they were encouraging suicide and mental health, this album was thought to have encouraged rebellion and chaos. Apparently, songs like “SING” and “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)” were about rebelling and fighting against the law. Sure, the concept of the album is about that but for other reasons. The album is simply about becoming your own person, and believing in what you believe in. And one of the final tracks in this album “The Kids From Yesterday” really goes to show that this is their last album, and that they really meant for this to be the end of an era. Fans haven’t seemed to have fully accepted their departure yet, and neither have I, honestly. But I think this was a good bottle cap to the band’s legacy. “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back” is personally my favorite from the album. The guitar riffs here have yet to have failed in making me feel powerful and unstoppable. This album is definitely very pop-sounding, but they still manage to keep all the elements of rock and roll. Still a great album nonetheless. The story here is much more complex, but you can purchase the comic Gerard Way wrote, published under Dark Horse also called “Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys”, it’s the continuation of the storyline made in “SING” and “Na Na Na”.

“Conventional Weapons” Not exactly an album, but I decided to combine all #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5 together. These were actually scrap songs, they were supposed to go on Danger Days but failed to make the cut. Great songs, really. All of them being very hooky and rock, but there are songs here that get stale very easily. I think Conventional Weapons #4 was very weak and the songs were easy to get bored by. Not just that but “The World Is Ugly” is at first, a heartfelt track but after a while it just gets cheesy and very, like I said about #4, boring. “The Light Behind Your Eyes” is probably their most emotional song they ever wrote during their last few years, also kind of like a goodbye message from the band to the fans. “Surrender The Night” and “Burn Bright” have probably one of the strongest lyrics in the entire album. “Boy Division” is a song that I feel was made more for fun and dance. The breakdown reminds me of the demo featured in the single for I’m Not Okay (I Promise) and Life On The Murder Scene called “Bury Me In Black”. Still a great album, but undoubtedly their weakest.

Okay, don’t kill me.

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cannotcreate · 4 years

Text

ToG-inspired Interview

Who is your fave character to write/draw/read?

Write

I want to preface this by saying EVERY one of them are fun to write: Bam, Khun, Rak, Hansung, Evankhell, Shibisu, Endorsi, Evan, Hwaryun, Rachel, etc., etc. They all have something intriguing about their personalities that forces me to understand different perspectives.

That said, Team Rakhunbam are the ones I am the most emotionally invested in when writing.

Read

Team Rakhunbam. This includes fanfiction.

Which character do you feel bad for the most?

There’s more if I think about it, but I’ll be here all day if I try to systematically go through every character from the ToG world and their backstories lol

Pity

Hoaquin, Rachel, and Yura.

They’re still people; whatever my personal feelings against them are, I acknowledge that they are suffering and they’ve gone through very messed up things that they should’ve never gone through.

Happiness isn’t a matter of deserving or undeserving, it's a right. If they can have such a thing, they should have it.

Sympathy

Endorsi.

I’ll put it bluntly, okay: she irritates me. Nothing like the three above her and there are times where I super enjoy her character, but overall, she makes me facepalm.

But because of what she went through, because of the structure of the entire tower, it’s no wonder she acts the way she does.

Karaka.

I can’t really take this man seriously, even though he attempted to murder the great Rak, lovely Ehwa, and...Sword guy Dan, along with Endorsi.

He just strikes me as a very petulant sibling that feels dejected because he isn’t the ‘favorite’ of his parent. This whole thing with Jinsung really doesn’t help the image.

Empathy

Beta.

His story sounds similar to what Khun went through during the whole culling of the 10yo children, but it was just explicitly stated and explained. And for Beta, he may have survived it, but at what cost? The answer haunts him day to day, I'm sure.

Beta’s history represents the history of many children who were nothing but pawns to be discarded if they were not useful enough.

Wangnan and Miseng.

The deaths of Prince and Arkraptor were painful scenes and these two will carry the pain of their deaths for the rest of their life.

Their loss represents the insurmountable losses of everyone in the tower, including those like Anaak, Serena, Hoh, Dowon, and countless others.

Arkraptor and Prince

One just wanted to see his daughter. The other just wanted to make a life for himself. The Tower cares not for what you want, it has no heart or mind to grant mercy or wishes.

They represent the losses that only live in the memories of ones they left behind.

Elaine.

I can understand her on a personal level, as I was betrayed and used by those who she thought loved her. Combine this with her guilt, sense of duty towards her family, and lack of self-identity, she did things she never wanted to do.

On top of that, she didn’t bother with trying to find a way out, instead passively waiting for a mercy that would never come.

Hwaryun.

Honestly, I can’t imagine what it’s like seeing the ‘fate’ of people--including knowing when you’re meant to die--and being taught to accept that as fact, as something that must happen even if it results in terrible suffering.

Would I do the same things as her and use others, such as Bam, to try and take back some control of my fate? To extend that control to others as a domino effect? I would be blind to my imperfections as a person to say no.

Yuri.

Combined with flashbacks to her selection, she explained this perfectly during her fight with Cheonhee. Her experience collectively represents the burden and double-edged sword borne by the children of the Great 10 Families and Princesses of Zahard, including Ehwa, Ran, Vicente, and Anna.

Her strong sense of self and moral compass, both, saves her and dooms her because the Princess Selection is meant to starve you of that.

Compassion

Rak, Khun, and Bam.

NO. NO. THEY GET A HAPPY ENDING. I DON’T FKKN CARE ABOUT REALISM. I’M NOT FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT ON THEM. KHUN AND BAM GET TO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND BE HAPPY TURTLES WITH THEIR LEADER RAK.

Which character do you envy the most?

Envy

Shibisu.

He is average in looks, physical ability, Shinsu capability, and the only thing above average is his intelligence and intuition. His name literally means "12-time retaker", meaning 'dumb' enough to fail 12 times and persistent enough to try 12 times.

He is nothing special, with no hidden bloodline, background, or history. He barely has any advantage to put himself ahead of the curve. But he doesn't let any of this define him or his choices in life--his persistence, in fact, is to be admired.

He doesn't give up on any of his friends, he doesn't lose sight of himself, and he doesn't allow his internal locus of control to become an external one. He is a family man through and through, rivaling Khun in smarts and Bam in kindness.

I truly admire this man just as much as I envy his balance of resilience, intelligence, and adaptability.

I was going to add Yuri here because she is every bit resilient as Shibisu with an aggressive type of kindness.

Her resilience, however, comes from being born in an affluent family, with good looks and innate talent. She has several protective factors that puts her miles ahead of not just Shibsu, but also the regular Regular.

I admire her for kindness and her ability to move forward in doing what she believes is right--as this makes her a rare breed among the children of the 10 Families--but I don't envy her.

Which character do you adore the most?

Adore

RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK RAK

If you had to choose a message to convey to readers/viewers, what would that be?

Message

More than these wonderful characters, more than this breathtaking story, respect each other and appreciate SIU, please. Fiction is what we escape into, but we shouldn't escape the very necessary responsibility of showing love towards each other.

This is something I need to remind myself often and, honestly? It's a lesson I will have to continuously learn over and over again.

#my dango soul #there was this scene during the name hunt #where khun questions how elaine could take orders like that #for as long as she did #people have asked me similar questions too #about my situation lol #what really struck home for me #was when khun said 'it's because of that kind of mindset #that she's stuck in a place like this!'#and yeah okay that's #welp #also look okay i just #i just really really love rak so much #;___;

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