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#like what is it about the guys that have no interest in me that get me fucked up
rosesaints · 2 days
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* IT'S A MATCH! — jjk men on dating apps
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// you've matched with: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, sukuna ryomen
summary: your experiences with the jjk men on various dating apps (hc and small blurb set) fem!reader warnings: 18+ mdni, unprotected sex (all), breeding kink (nanami), public sex (gojo and geto), car sex (geto), praise kink (geto), nipple play (gojo), fem!receiving oral (sukuna), overstimulation (sukuna)
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: ̗̀➛ GOJO SATORU
you match with gojo on HINGE!
listen, i—this man is hinge's exact target audience. his first photo is the most majestic, stunning photo you've ever seen (it was 100% taken by a professional photographer) and the rest of his photos are the most obscure, borderline concerning memes (what the fuck is onika burgers...?) combined with some... brow-raising prompt answers. "dating me is like: dating the most perfect angel princess supermodel superstar 🐬❤️‍🔥🤯🥰😋👑✨ ever" and "i go crazy for: some CRAZY sloppy top like gawk gawk 1000% vacuum seal special hmu"
he is so unserious. he leaves an interesting message on a photo of yours that he likes: "may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took your mom to the hospital to give birth to you" like ofc you match
he either messages you instantly or takes 5 business days, there is no in-between. you have three conversations going on simultaneously about different topics and at this point, you just wanna meet this man (get dicked down) and finally, he asks you out to go check that new cafe with gourmet pastries downtown!
gojo's got you crowded up against a brick wall outside of the cafe in broad daylight, sucking wet, sloppy marks into your neck and only continuing to migrate lower until he's pulling down a side of your shirt to reveal the soft material of your lacy bra. you're whining, looking around the alleyway in fear that one of the workers is going to step outside, "gojo... quit it, someone could come out any minute," but your actions betray your words, tugging on his hair to continue.
instead of acknowledging you, he takes a long sip out of his abomination of a drink, some iced caramel blended drink with fixings that made the barista earlier grumble under their breath, and comes back to one of your nipples with cold, cold lips that send a shock down your spine. "so fucking sweet. could taste you all day long."
you barely notice the way his other hand has sneaked down to the front of your jeans, hastily undoing the button and quickly descending to the where you need him most.
"you just gotta stay quiet. you can do that for me, yeah?"
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: ̗̀➛ GETO SUGURU
you match with geto on TINDER!
when you swipe right on geto, you get one of those notifications that encourages you to super-like just because of how popular he is. he has some great photos, a few smiling ones with friends, one that shows off his impressive car, absolutely beaming with pride, but it's his last photo that makes you take the leap and super-like his profile. it's a mirror selfie of him after what looks like a hard and successful day at the gym, muscles flexed, hair tied back showing off his piercing, and looking so fucking delicious with a sheen of perspiration that makes him look otherworldly.
he's so good at keeping the conversation going, he compliments your top ten artists, and he even asks about the pet that you have in one of your selfies! it's all in great fun and you guys even exchange numbers and plan a date (dinner and a movie) within the next three days.
you guys don't even make it to the movie. your hand slides up against the fogged up glass window of his car, breaths coming out in irregular intervals as geto slams his dick up to make a home in your pussy. your hands are going every which way, lost and going insane with the sensation of him mercilessly bouncing you up and down, completely undressed while he still sits fully clothed in the driver's seat.
"f-fuck, good girl," geto grits his teeth, head thrown back like he's the one being tortured. "so fucking tight and wet and—holy shit, holy shit—"
at the uncontrolled praise, you moan wantonly, pussy clenching against his hard length as you reach even closer to your peak. "geto, 'm gonna cum, shit, please!"
when he looks back into your eyes, pupils blown wide and you feel your heart stutter at his next words. "who said you could cum yet?"
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: ̗̀➛ NANAMI KENTO
you match with nanami on BUMBLE!
it's a week before your sibling's wedding and you have no date! during the bachelorette party, wasted out of your mind, you come to the sad realization that you might just have to suffer through the ceremony and reception alone while surrounded by other people who are happily partnered up. what could possibly be worse?
nanami kento is the most put-together and successful man you see in the first half hour of swiping through the app. like holy fuck, why are you here? this man has carefully cultivated his profile to include a very tasteful bio, a set of photos that showcase a rare, smiling photo of him (courtesy of gojo), and has all his interests, career, what he's looking for, etc. you pause when you see that he has "wants children" under his family goals. you swipe right, because this man is exactly who you need to bring to a wedding.
throughout the wedding day, he's polite, respectful, and so fucking handsome in his custom-tailored suit. he somehow makes it onto 80% of the wedding photos and he's not even part of the family! and at the end of the night, when most of the wedding guests have gone home and it's just you and him slow dancing on the dance floor, you make a mental note to thank those other bridesmaids later.
at your hotel room, he's the opposite of polite and respectful but you think he looks so fucking handsome like this, fucking you from behind and forcing you to look at the mess you've made in the mirror. his hands, god his fucking hands, are driving you crazy, one hand wrapped around the length of your hair and the other holding your ass in place to reach you even deeper. "n-nanami—slow... slow down!"
the pace and the position he's got you in is brutal, but you love it. there's stars in your eyes and he's pulling your hair back so your head's turned to look him in his eyes.
"can't... can't slow down, sweet girl," nanami's breathless, lost in the way your pussy feels scorching hot and squeezing him just right, and he knows it's unbecoming, knows that the way he wants to fill you up and make you bear his kids after the first date is impulsive. it's not like him. but they way you look, desperately attempting to grasp onto something, anything just to be able to take his dick, well... how could a man hold back? "need to fill you up, need to cum inside."
"we gotta work fast if we wanna get you down that aisle next, right?"
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: ̗̀➛ BONUS: SUKUNA RYOMEN
you match with sukuna on CHRISTIANMINGLE.COM!
you don't even know why the fuck you showed up. your friend created a profile for you behind your back after too many complaints of being single, the girlies are TIRED. why they chose christianmingle.com of all apps? you'll never know. ring before spring!
sukuna's profile picture is a faceless photo of his unclothed abdomen, showing off a really impressive six-pack and stark black tattoos. he slides into your DMs with the most obscene and graphic pickup line you've ever seen, and somehow it works. how he hasn't gotten banned yet, you don't understand.
he's fifteen minutes late. when you look at your watch for the seventh time that night, you blearily accept the fact that you'll probably die alone, until your date finally shows up. he smells like cigarette smoke, gasoline, and fireball shots. despite every possible red flag being waved in your face, you stay.
in person, he's even more shameless than you thought was humanly possible. you've caught him blatantly staring at your tits more times than you can count, while you're ordering, you see him swiping on tinder when he thinks you're not looking, and he flirts with the server.
he ends up back at your place at the end of the night.
and holy fuck, he's eating your pussy like a man starved. he's moaning into your cunt, three calloused fingers fucking you hard while he presses a rough thumb to your clit, and you cum for the third time that night. he's not even doing it for you at this point, he's doing it for himself.
"you ready?" ready? you hear the sound of his belt coming undone and the whoosh of pants joining yours on the floor. when you look over, you can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. oh my god. "not god, babe. it's just me."
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© ROSESAINTS ! — do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
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⋆𐙚𖦹 bf matt headcanons
an hiiii sorry for disappearing again😓 let me know if you want a pt 2 or nsfw version
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bf!matt who becomes your designated driver. doesn't matter if you can drive and have a car; he will drive you around anywhere and everywhere.
bf!matt who keeps your lip products in his car, almost as if it's your car.
bf!matt who keeps your favourite hello kitty toy on his car dashboard.
bf!matt you lets you tie bows everywhere in his car.
bf!matt who carries you around when you're tired.
bf!matt who grumbles a bit while doing silly tik tok trends but loves it either ways.
bf!matt who loved the kiss trend. (it gave him an opportunity to get unlimited kisses from his favourite person.)
bf!matt who loves to call you his girl.
bf!matt who is not a fan of pda but constantly has a arm around you.
bf!matt who wants you after any minor inconvenience.
"baby please i need you im dying"
"matt my love you just tripped over a rock"
bf!matt who swears he hates to be teased by his brothers and friends about but secretly loves it.
bf!matt who is socially awkward and lets you do the talking.
"excuse me, you got his order wrong!"
"can you let me how much this costs?"
"sorry to say, but matt is quite busy on the 25th. if you want we can reschedule the event. thank you!"
bf!matt who is listener. he listens to all of your endless talks. he can never get bored of your yapping.
bf!matt who has a girls night with you every weekend. he'll spend the entire night talking and bitching about people in the city with you.
bf!matt who loves gossiping. he knows all the tea. he also remembers who did what, who's dating who, who has beef with who, who fucked their bestfriend's ex and when. basically he is very much interested in the drama.
bf!matt who loves to cuddle you. anytime you're lying in his bed, he needs you in his arms. or needs to snuggle in your neck or chest.
bf!matt who gets his best sleep only when he's sleeping on your chest.
"but baby i love my personal pillow, so soft and all mine"
bf!matt who gets your favourite flowers everytime you two go on a date.
bf!matt who's not an aggressive person but will pick up a fight with anyone who makes his girl uncomfortable.
"that guy keeps weirdly staring at you, be right back gonna pluck his eyes out"
"mattew please!"
bf!matt who hates the word 'mattitude' but doesn't mind that coming from you.
"matt please your mattitude is showing"
bf!matt who continuously eats his brothers' ears off talking about you.
bf!matt that brings you up in every possible conversation.
"ohoo yn would like this"
"my girl loves this restaurant, let me get something packed for her"
"yn does that too!"
"dude can you not talk about her?"
"no tf?"
bf!matt who's genuinely surprised and happy everytime you get him something, be it flowers, his favourite drink, handmade cards or gift. he's absolutely starstruck.
bf!matt who's mesmerized seeing you in his clothes. he loves the way his shirt looks on you.
bf!matt who'll sometimes pick your nails or design or nails.
bf!matt who gets matching nails with you.
bf!matt who will make sure to pay for your nails.
bf!matt who lets you colour his tattoos when you're bored.
bf!matt who got a tattoo for you just three months into the relationship.
bf!matt with whom you have a matching tattoo.
bf!matt who knows he'll marry you.
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uss-genderprise · 3 days
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okay the new episode has people poking my sleeping special interest like a bear and it was about time to wake it from hibernation anyway so here are some fun facts about welsh fairies
it's spelled fairy. it's always spelled fairy. not faerie, faery, fae, or fey. fairy. please. or tylwyth teg if you want to be proper about it
fairies are not inherently malevolent. they work by their own rules that sometimes don't make sense to humans but there are rules, if you pay attention.
yes fairies will punish you for doing something they don't want you to do
they will also reward you for doing things they do want you to do
fairy rings are circles of green grass. they sometimes how up as a different shade of green than the grass around it and are generally markers of where fairies dance, as well as portals to the fairy realm. mushrooms aren't really a thing for that in welsh folklore.
string and bones and flowers are man-made and possibly supposed to bind or protect against fairies (though i haven't seen anything quite like what we see in the episode described in any of my sources) but generally breaking one of those doesn't immediately anger fairies, just lets them in to affect whoever put the ward up in the first place. that's not called a fairy circle.
changelings exist in welsh folklore. have fun with your theories.
fairies will generally let you leave the fairy world if you ask nicely. yes even if you've eaten the food and drank the drinks
however time moves differently so when you come back you might be super old and/or turn to dust the moment someone touches you
dancing is a different thing tho. they don't exactly want you to stay dancing with them until you die of exhaustion but like that's on you my dude get your friends to help you
if you broke fairy rules like kicking them out of their meadow to build a castle they will count eight* generations** and come back to turn that castle into a lake and drown everyone inside. you have been warned (repeatedly. usually by old ladies and/or bards and/or birds or sometimes just. A Voice™)
* the number of generations can and does vary but in welsh folklore it's generally 8 that's an important number, not 3 or 7.
** also the way generations are counted is. weird. idk if it's that i'm bad at math or bad at welsh or that the book i read explaining this is over 100 years old but i don't think i fully got how many generations this actually is.
oh and they only wait if you beg enough otherwise they kill you now
so basically. no getting trapped in the fairy world as punishment. they just kill you
personally i think the closest thing in welsh folklore to that old woman is a weird lady but even that isn't a great fit
yeah fairies bend time and space to always be far away from you if they want to but that's generally because they're trying to avoid you not following you at a distance
i am fully aware rtd probably couldn't care less about any of this. he definitely didn't do the work that i did to learn all this and incorporating this into your theories is probably shooting yourself in the foot as far as actually being correct goes. HOWEVER i do think it's more interesting and fun this way :) theories are gonna be wrong anyway might as well respect the culture that's inspiring them while we're at it yeah?
i will cite my sources if anyone asks but i doubt many people care to read hundreds of pages of edwardian non fiction novels just to fact check me. trust me on this guys
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vettelsvee · 3 days
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YOU'RE JALEOUS | Charles Leclerc
f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram
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charles leclerc x reader
summary: charles gets jaleous of lando when he sees him talking with his girlfriend 
wordcount: 1529
a/n: it's been a long time coming but i'm finally here! i've actually had this saved on my drafts for quite a long time BUT never posted it. however, since we got charles pole today, i thought you might like this even tough is a crap (i'm so sorry, you absolutely deserve better works) :)
you can send your one shots requests here or via anon! feedback, as well as comments and reblogs, are truly appreciated!
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Charles and you decided to attend a party they had been invited by someone the driver didn’t even know, that took place at one of the most famous venues in Monaco. Although you initially felt intimidated because none of Leclerc's colleagues had appeared yet, as you drank a few drinks, the music seemed interesting enough for you to dance along with the twinkling lights.
To say that Leclerc was happy with his performance on the track that afternoon would be a li. His pride was immense because he had finally achieved the victory: winning not only for the first time in 2024 season, but also winning his very own home race for the first time ever. This had led to great acclaim not only from his fans but also from specialists, the press, the team, and even his colleagues, who were eagerly awaiting il predestinato's return to the victories.
In those moments, with his shiny black suit highlighting his appearance and, especially, his trained body, he felt unique, and even more so with you by his side. You were matching your partner perfectly with the dazzling dress you were wearing and that fit you perfectly.
As you enjoyed a drink in a quiet corner after a long time on the dance floor, Leclerc wrapped his arm around your waist, intending to bring you closer to his side. Your eyes met, somewhat mischievous, leading to a playful smile forming on your lips.
"Charles, you’ve been incredible in today's race," you exclaimed with excitement, proudly praising your boyfriend's talent. "I'm so proud of you."
Charles returned your smile, feeling filled with joy by your unconditional support.
"Thank you, darling. But what I'm proud of, and also lucky for, is having you in my life," he responded tenderly.
You continued chatting animatedly without an apparent topic of conversation, ranging from what would be your next holiday destination to the upcoming race, which would take place in Canada. However, when you started talking about a charity event that Charles would have the opportunity to lead, your gazes turned to a familiar figure approaching you: Lando Norris.
"Hey, Charles! Congratulations on that first place!" Norris exclaimed, excited to see his friend.
"Thanks, Lando!" the mentioned replied enthusiastically, patting the McLaren driver on the back. "You did great too. A sixth place is not what I expected from those cars, but it was truly impressive taking into account the strategy they had for you."
"Stop talking about McLaren when you know we can talk about Ferrari," Norris joked.
You observed the interaction between the two drivers with a mix of pride and curiosity. At first, you decide to give space to both guys, letting them freely discuss the day's events without the attentive gaze of a girl. However, when you finished checking your social media and posted a few Instagram stories with photos you took that morning, you decided to join the conversation.
"Lando, have you forgotten about me?" you teased. "I'm still in shock from today's race. It was a real spectacle."
"Thanks, Y/N!" He stopped looking at you and instead turned to his friend. "What do you think if we celebrate our incredible, but true, achievements together now? No one else is coming, and I talked to Carlos earlier!"
You looked at Charles, seeking his approval. He, a bit tipsy, nodded with a smile.
"I had other plans in mind but I think we can actually postpone them. Right, Y/N?"
With such a declaration, you three headed to the dance floor, not without first ordering something to drink to accompany you in your enjoyment full of laughter, excitement and dance moves that were surely the ones from someone who’s had enough drinks for a day.
As you moved to the rhythm of the music, Charles noticed you stepping away from his side to join some members of the Ferrari team. He decided to follow you, ready to talk to his coworkers. To his surprise, you were chatting animatedly, in the midst of the crowd, with Lando, who had excused himself to go to the bathroom minutes before.
Jealousy and anger coursed through his body in a shiver. The Monegasque felt an urgent need to intervene and mark his territory. As much as he knew you didn't depend on him, and you were both completely independent individuals sometimes, moments like this were the ones where he felt a hint of insecurity about those who, apparently, dared, even minimally, to intrude on your relationship.
Forgetting his discretion and good judgment, Charles rushed towards you and the Brit, his eyes filled with determination and a threatening look on his face, ignoring the insults he had received from those drunkards he had punched.
"What's going on here?" he demanded to know in an authoritative and tense tone.
You and Lando turned, surprised, at Charles's intrusion. You looked at him, confused by the jealousy in your boyfriend's face. You were simply discussing with Norris the idea for a special party in Monaco the following week, just before the next Gran Prix, in honor of Charles’ recent victory.
"Love, you're misinterpreting things," you said, trying to stay calm. "We were just talking as friends," you emphasized the last word.
Leclerc clenched his fists in an attempt to control his anger.
"I don't want you to keep talking to him," he communicated harshly, surprising you greatly.
Lando intervened, trying to alleviate the tension and, especially, to calm his friend's apparent sadness:
"Dude, you have no reason to make a scene in front of everyone over an insignificant bout of jealousy. We're just having a friendly conversation about something for next week, okay?"
Leclerc's expression became even tenser, and his eyes narrowed as he noticed the symbiosis that you, his girlfriend, and Lando, his friend and opponent, seemed to have in hiding something.
"I wouldn't want to ask you again, so... What were you talking about?" Charles inquired in an even sharper tone.
Feeling you boyfriend's murderous gaze, you tried your best not to burst into tears over something as stupid as Charles's insecurity.
"Seriously, believe us," Lando spoke, trying to calm the brunette down. "You have to trust us, we were just talking about something we came up for next week just before Canada!"
The Ferrari driver tried to control his anger, if it was still possible. Meanwhile, he took his time to look at you with, once again, a mix of anger and disappointment, mainly for not answering him.
"And you, why don't you answer me? Are you only interested in him now?"
You looked at him surprised by such a comment, and tried to explain quickly:
"I'll repeat it again, honey: we were just having a friendly conversation! Lando is my friend and your rival, friend, or whatever you want to say it, but there's nothing more to it!"
Out of nowhere, Charles gently took you by the wrist and led you to a place where you could talk quietly. The green-eyed, despite having a bit more alcohol in his system than he should, knew he messed up and needed to fix it somehow.
"Y/N, please be honest: what were you talking about?" Leclerc asked with a concerned expression on his face for the scene he had caused.
"About what we could do in Monaco, here, next week, alright?" you responded, trying to reassure him. "You don't have to worry about anything"
"But why are you talking to him about racing?" the Monegasque insisted again, trying to calm his tone of jealousy. "I don't understand why you have to make plans with other drivers when you're my girlfriend."
"Charles, come on, don't be jealous!" you scolded with a playful smile. "Besides, what we were planning was a surprise party in your honor because, in case you don't remember, you just won your first home race ever. I don't think that's anything bad."
Charles felt really stupid at that moment.
"Are you jealous, my dearest friend?" Lando decided to intervene, who had been attentive the whole time to the intimate scene between the couple.
"What? No!" Leclerc replied as calmly as possible, his attempt in vain.
"Well, it seems quite the opposite to me," Norris said. "You should relax a bit. There's nothing wrong with your girlfriend talking to other drivers, even more so when she's preparing a party for you."
Il predestinato realized Norris was right and decided to calm down.You really didn't deserve the jerk behavior he was displaying at you at the moment.
"I guess you're right, Lando," he turned to you, timidly reaching for her hands. "I'm really sorry, Y/N, I shouldn't have behaved like that."
"It's okay, Charles. I understand that sometimes jealousy can be hard to control, I feel the same way sometimes about your fans, but I manage, not like you just showed me tonight!" you answer with a smile, hitting him in his arm.
Charles felt relieved to see that you had no interest in Lando beyond friendship and planning a failed surprise party in the process. Therefore, he just enjoyed the rest of the night with you, with his friend, and without having to worry about anything else.
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redsray · 2 days
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Tim Drake is insanely wonderful to me because while, yes, he is a genius, an absolutely legendary Robin, a teenager who went up to Batman, looked him in the eyes and practically dragged him back up from the bottom, a kind soul, a boy who will put anyone he cares about above himself, an amazing business man, a prodigy in his own right, a breathtaking photographer and a hell of a funny guy...
He is also Tim Drake.
Bruce Wayne is his adopted father and you can hyphenate his name to Drake-Wayne all you'd like, but when he walks into a gala he is Timothy Drake, the son of Janet Drake. He glides through crowds methodically and with the confidence of someone who has been in these social circles for years on end. His analytical and judgemental stare scares even the most cunning there. When he's in the room, he is the predator and every single socialite in the vicinity is his prey.
Sure he's polite, and he's charming, and yes if you're kind towards him then he will be kind towards you. Tim is someone who will take kindness and he will repay it— but the same rule applies to unkindness.
The person Tim transforms into when entering a gala— the person underneath all that shed skin— never fails to surprise anyone the first time they witness it. It's hard to forget, for the rest of the family, that Tim was brought up in this environment even before being adopted by Bruce.
The first time Bruce noticed, the first gala he brought Tim to, he'd forgotten that Tim knew the ropes and thought he would have to teach Tim how galas work. Only for Tim to stop him, informing (and reminding) him that he's fully aware. The Robin suit may be what he wears to fight, but his three piece is what he wears to hunt.
Dick did something similar; since his first gala was a media nightmare, after he'd gotten adopted, he wanted to spare Tim the horrors of being eaten alive by paparazzi and socialites. He didn't even get to warn his new younger brother before Tim was already off, blending into the scene like he'd never left it at all. (And, just maybe, he truly hadn't.)
It even absolutely stumps (and amazes) Bernard, because he had gotten used to a more relaxed Tim, far, far away from that rich and elite environment. He's seen the younger and more human side of Tim, the one who lives in a cluttered boat in the Gotham Marina and stumbles over his feet during their dates. The first time he gets an invitation to the gala, he's told he will meet Tim there— since the Wayne's are hosting. When he steps into the gala, though, and sets his eyes in Tim, he's absolutely floored.
Gone is the adorable, blushing mess that he sees sitting across from him during restaurant dates. Gone is the absolute geek that could ramble on about anything that currently interests him for hours and hours. Gone is the endearing genius that could figure out any puzzle if he put his mind to it. No, in front of Bernard stands a socialite, a young one yet one who knows his place. One who knows his worth. And yet, when their eyes meet and Tim flashes him a smile, Bernard knows— even in a three piece suit and with a sharp gaze that could render anyone in this huge hall speechless— that's still Tim.
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hairstevington · 3 days
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call me when you get this
Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington
Summary: Eddie and Steve are best friends, but even the best of friends have secrets.
WC: 3K
Warnings: Story told through voicemails, mild angst, coming out to each other, secret feelings, friends to lovers, kissing, swearing, light angst very brief, references to Robin and Gareth, drunk shenangians, idiots in love, set in 1991 but it doesn't matter too much, no mention of the Upside Down stuff
A/N: I have like three other WIP's happening and zero time but this idea was given to me by the beloved @tinytalkingtina in the discord and then I couldn't get it out of my head. Ao3 link here for those interested!
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Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 12:52am
GARETH hi yes I know it’s late but HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE ALBUM YET? I need all of your thoughts immediately. Like, all of them. Every thought. Dude, my head is spinning. Ohhh, man. Kurt is a fuckin’ legend. Woooow. Okay, I could talk about this shit for like three hours but I don’t want to run out your tape so just call me back when you get this and then talk to me about it for three hours. Can I come over a little early tomorrow? Yeah, I’m gonna come over a little early tomorrow. Maybe a lot early. Alright, catch ya then. 
Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 3:40pm
Uhh, ha. Hey Steve. Thiiiis is Eddie, obviously. I, uh, I just realized I called you in the middle of the night last night on accident, and - uhh, sorry about that. It was just - ah, screw it. You know what I am. Byeeeeee-
Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 7:30pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Eds, how many times do I have to tell you to change your answering machine message? What if, like, the president calls? Okay, maybe not the president. But an employer or something. Or, like, what if you give the girl of your dreams your number and she calls you and hears THAT? Food for thought. Uhh, anyway, it’s fine. I wasn’t even home when you called me. Robin was, though, and so you’ll probably hear her wrath next time you come over for movie night. Good luck with that. Oh, wait. You’re at a show tonight, right? Damn. I swear I’ll make the next one. Okay, bye, dickhead. 
Wednesday, September 25th, 1991, 1:12pm
“You have reached Steve Harrington. Figured I should say that in case whoever is calling me thinks they’re calling someone else. Anyway, I’m busy right now so I’ll call you back. Bye!”
Ha, ha. You are so funny, Harrington. You ever think about being a stand-up comedian? Jesus, and you say I’M the dramatic one. Uhh, the show last night went well, by the way. Not that you were THERE. Seriously, what kind of friend even are you? I’m hurt, Steve. I’m hurt. Anyway, see you tomorrow for movie night. I get to pick. It’s only fair, right?
Thursday, September 27th, 1991, 4pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
You’re not picking the goddamn movie. No way. Last time you did that we got scarred for life. Also, um. I can’t tell if you’re joking or not about me and your shows. I didn’t realize you - uhh, you’re probably joking. Forget I said anything, and see you tonight. I’m at work right now, so I’m gonna rent some backup options just in case.
Sunday, September 30th, 1991, 2pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Dustin says you were being a total dick last night. Good. That shrimp deserves to be humbled every once in a while. Your answering machine message still sucks, by the way, and yeah I’m gonna tell you every time. 
Monday, October 1st, 1991, 3:21pm
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Steve. My guy. I can’t believe you make fun of me for my bullshit message all the time and now you’ve created and advertised THAT abomination?? I’m - wow. I forgot why I even called.
Monday, October 1st, 1991, 3:23pm
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Okay, I remember now. I know you said you have that date tomorrow with Heidi or Melissa or Samantha or whoever is currently obsessed with you, but I really do want you at the show if you can make it. You can bring her, if you want. Actually, it might be a good test. If she hates metal, she fails. I only want the best suitors for you, Steve Harrington. Be there or I’ll be REALLY annoying about it forever. 
Tuesday, October 2nd, 1991, 11:45pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Hey, it’s Steve. So, uh - I saw your show tonight. You’re probably not home yet, but I don’t know where you are. Cuz like, I tried to find you after your set but you disappeared. I hope everything’s okay. You sounded great, by the way. I mean, you all did. Remember me when you’re playing at the Garden? Oh also, I heard like three women talk about how badly they wanted you, so…I dunno, just figured you’d like to hear that. Hey, maybe you got with one of them and that’s why you’re not answering. In that case, hope you’re having fun? Okay, now it’s weird. Bye, Eds.
Wednesday, October 3rd, 12:54am
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Steeeeeeeeeeeve. You absolute buffoon. You beautiful, oblivious man. Why’dya think I wanted you there’so badly t’night, Steve? T’wasn’t for the girls. Ha, girls. Yeah, okay. I may have had several alcoholic beverages, Steve-o, but you’re still the dumbass. Cuz you’d have to be an absolute idiot t’think I have any interest in those women. ‘Specially yours. Your women, I mean. Sandyyyyy. Ugh, she was perfect for you, Harrington. Juuuust perfect. So perfect I didn’t wanna stick around to see any more of it. I hope you two have beautiful children. Name one after me, will you? Uhhhh I think I might puke. So, I’m gonna go, but - but do you get what I’m saying? Do you - do you get it? Tell me you get it. Steve, I - Oh, hey Gareth. Do you wanna talk to Steve? Wait why are you - Dude, I’m FINE. I’m handling it! Stop! Gareth, don’t hang up the phone, I haven’t -!
Wednesday, October 3nd, 1991, 9:05am
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Dude, did you fucking break into our apartment last night? Robin and I came home this morning and found a broken lock and some shitty note we could barely read next to the answering machine, and - what the fuck, man? You wiped the damn thing clean. Just - call me back, okay? Jesus. 
Wednesday, October 3nd, 1991, 11:36am
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Eddie, come on. We really need to talk. I’m not - I’m not mad, honest to God. Call me back, as soon as you get this. Got it?
Thursday, October 4th, 1991, 3:47pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
It’s movie night, but I’m assuming you won’t be here considering you’ve pulled your magic disappearing act. Thanks for that, by the way. You know you really piss me off sometimes? All the time, actually. I’m getting real tired of you constantly poking fun at me, and then you pull this breaking and entering shit and just take off? Just like that? We’ve been friends for years, Eds. You and me. But you never want to just be serious, not once in your goddamn life, and I’m over it. So, uh, thanks for that, I guess. I dunno what I did. 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:12pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
Huh. You know what? I kind of miss the old message you had. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m impossible to please, yada yada yada, and now I’m doing the avoiding with humor thing again. Shit. Uhh, hi. Listen, I’m sorry I disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. Really, really fucking sorry, if you can believe it. I was just, like, mad embarrassed, and I didn’t wanna - uh, can we meet up soon? Alone? Like, without Robin even? I know that’s - like, unheard of these days, but I figure maybe you’d make an exception for me. Or maybe you won’t. Just let me know, yeah? 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:30pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
See, I would just hop on over to your place to talk but the thing is, I’m a total chickenshit and it’s not like I did super well the last time I showed up to your place unannounced, so…Uhh, while we’re on the subject, I’m sorry about your lock. If you haven’t replaced it yet, I will. I’ll at least pay you back. In my defense, that thing was like two seconds from falling off anyway. But still. Anyway, I know you always spend Sundays at home, soooo…hellooooo? Come on. At least pick up the phone and tell me to fuck off. I know you’re listening. At least - I hope you are, anyway. Just pick up, man. I - I really gotta talk to you. 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:37pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
So, quick update, I called Henderson. He confirmed you are at home, which means you are DEFINITELY listening, and either you’re trying to punish me or a part of you still finds my piece of shit ass charming somehow. Look, I know I fucked up, but - but I can explain. Shit. I mean, I’m not good with words or anything and I’m a total asshole but I - just, please. Pick up. Pick uuuuup. Come on. Now you’re just being a dick. Ha. Figures, I’m apologizing and calling you a dick in the same message. Dude. Seriously. Your tape is gonna run out of space and then what? You stop hearing from me? I’ll find other ways to annoy you, promise. This is a threat. Steve. Steeeeve. Pick up pick up pick up pick upppp -
“Will you just shut the hell up already?”
Eddie dropped the phone and heard it clack against the floor. He would have recognized that voice anywhere. 
He turned around and there he was. 
“Steve, what are you -?”
“You would just be yapping on that damn answering machine my whole drive here,” Steve said with his hands on his hips. “I don’t know why I expected any less. And, thanks to you, we had all the space in the world for you to take up, so -”
“H-how did you get in here?” Eddie stuttered. 
Steve rolled his eyes. “What? You think you’re the only one who’s not afraid of breaking and entering?”
They hadn’t seen each other in five days. Hadn’t even talked, aside from a few voicemails. And those never told the whole story. 
“I’m sorry,” Eddie began. 
“Yeah, you should be,” Steve replied, taking a step closer to Eddie in the kitchen. 
Eddie winced, his heart racing a million miles a minute. He just had to get all of the words out, while he still could. While Steve was listening. 
“I left you this really stupid voicemail,” Eddie explained. “That night, after the show. I was drunk off my ass, and - and Gareth told me I’d said shit I shouldn’t have said, and then I panicked, and the two of us went to your apartment and I - well, you know the rest.” He slumped down into the chair at the dining room table, putting his head in his hands. “Which is all just so dumb. And I didn’t wanna deal with the aftermath, so…”
“So you stopped talking to me?” Steve said, taking another step closer. “Because you thought that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back in our friendship?”
Eddie shook his head. “I dunno, I -”
“You’ve done some real weird shit over the years, Munson,” Steve continued. “Sneaking into my apartment doesn’t even make the top three.”
Eddie buried his face in his hair. No amount of boyish charm would get him out of this one. Jesus H. Christ. 
He sighed. “Okay, so I overreacted, what else is new?” 
“I heard the voicemail, dickhead.”
Eddie’s heart went from breakneck speeds to stopping entirely. 
“What?”
Steve sat down in the other seat at the table. “I heard the voicemail. It was 1am, again, so yeah I was at home.”
“I thought you would have been with Sandy,” Eddie muttered.
Steve shook his head. “Nah, Sandy was - she’s great and all, but she isn’t - she’s not -”
“So you heard the voicemail, but you weren’t home when I showed up,” Eddie noted.
“Right,” Steve said. “Because I was headed to your place.”
“What?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “I just - I didn’t understand why you never told me you were queer. Like, you know I don’t care about that. You know about Robin…”
As Steve talked, Eddie realized that Steve only heard half of what that voicemail was trying to express. So, it was time for Eddie Munson to face the music. 
“I didn’t tell you I’m gay because I knew that once I did, you’d figure out the rest of it,” Eddie blurted out.
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “The rest of it?”
Eddie groaned. “Oh, God. See, drunk me had the right idea saying this kind of shit over an answering machine. Christ, I’m so bad at this, but I’m just gonna say it, because if I don’t I think I’ll lose my shot with you and I - I can’t deal with that. So, here we go.” He squeezed his eyes shut and powered through. “Steve, I - ha, shit. I love you, dude. I’m - I’m IN love with you. I have been since, like, forever.” He opened his eyes, but kept them fixed on their feet against the linoleum kitchen floor. “Which is, uhh, a lot, I know. But it’s the truth. So if there’s any chance -”
“Oh, my God,” Steve interrupted. His voice wasn’t angry, or scared, or anything like that. It was soft and understanding. 
“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Wait, what are you thinking?” He looked up to see Steve staring off into the distance before meeting his gaze. 
“I’m thinking,” Steve replied. “That I owe Robin twenty bucks.”
Eddie cocked his head to the side and felt his heart skip back into rhythm. “You do?”
Steve nodded with a slight smile. At some point, his hand had ended up on Eddie’s knee. “Yeah, I didn’t believe her. Told her no way, not possible.”
Eddie didn’t know how to feel about this reaction. It wasn’t the worst possible response, but it certainly wasn’t Oh, Eddie! How I’ve longed for you all this time! Take me now! 
A middleground, if you will. 
“Oookay,” Eddie said. “Well, I don’t really know what to say now.”
“I’m queer too, ya know,” Steve continued.
"Wait, really?" Eddie balked. "Steve Harrington, ladies man?"
Steve chuckled. "Uh, yeah. Turns out, not so much," he said. "I feel like I’m pretty open about it. Guys, girls, whatever -”
“Yeah, but we all do that,” Eddie reasoned. “Me, you, and Robin all talking about how hot everyone is on our movie nights. It doesn’t prove anything.”
“Except that it totally does,” Steve countered. “Because, like, what do we all have in common?"
Eddie thought about it, and he didn’t have any other defenses.
“O-okay, so you’re queer too,” Eddie said. “And the other thing I said?”
Steve took a deep breath and looked Eddie directly in his frightened eyes.
“Eds, obviously I love you too,” Steve admitted at last. “Come on, seriously? After all I’ve put up with? I’ve been waiting around for like five days for you to call, like some lovesick puppy, and the moment I heard your voice I drove here instead of picking up the phone like a normal person. I’ve got it so bad for you that Robin is sick of it, and honestly, I’m sick of it too, because I hate having feelings. It blows, dude. I swear to God, if you try to bolt again when things get tough -”
Eddie lunged forward and cut Steve’s words off with a kiss. Their first kiss, even if it didn’t feel that way. Eddie had cupped Steve’s cheek in the past while he teased him. Steve had curled his fingers in Eddie’s hair in the past the night Robin taught him how to braid. Eddie and Steve had all kinds of physical contact in various ways over the years, and it was as if all of that was just practice for this. 
Eddie broke away from Steve’s lips purely out of necessity, because he needed to catch his breath. “Okay, woah,” he said.
“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Woah.”
Everything changed after that. But also, nothing changed at all.
-
Tuesday, October 16th, 1991, 4:12pm
“Hey, this is Eddie Munson’s phone. Leave a message and I’ll call ya back.”
Hi, Eds. Okay, I was wrong. This new message you have is, like, super boring. Anyway, I’ll see you at the show tonight, Rockstar. Love you. 
xx
I did have a taglist way back when but the tagging system is super annoying on tumblr, so please reblog this if you liked it and follow me or my Ao3 for other works! Masterlist is the pinned post on my page for those interested. Thanks for reading!
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Williamson Holding
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Hi guys!
Sooo this is a request from @holly-wallis and honestly it's massive. Like more than 14K words. It took me forever to do it, that's why I haven't post as much as before those last days/weeks.
I really hope that you will enjoy it. I proofread it two times but it's so big that I might have forgot some faults.
TW : Angst, Jealousy, Break up, One-side love, Game lost, mention of Covid. Reader is Leah Williamson's sister.
Gif credit for Caitlin’s one at @teenwolf-theoriginals
______________________________________________________________
You were an accident. Not really wanted at first, you were born 354 days after Leah, the 18 March 1998. Your parents weren’t ready to have a second child so early after the birth of their first daughter, but you never felt anything but love from them. People joke sometimes that they used the same recipe for Leah and for you. It’s true that you look a lot like her physically and for the character you have definitively some similar points too. You both are determined, loyal, funny, and very close of your family. But the person you are the closest is definitively Leah.
3 years after you, your brother Jacob is born. You like to joke about it and saying that they finally weren’t to traumatize by you more than that. Jacob is your brother, and you love him very much, but your relationship is different from the one with Leah. You like having time with him, but with him being away in Australia now, it’s a little bit harder.
Oh, and like Leah and your mother you’re an Arsenal fan, obviously.
You started football together, but you played the goalkeeper, letting Leah practicing striking and dribbling. You weren’t bad to be honest, but they was to many competition to be a goalkeeper and you decided during your teenager period to go for study instead of football.
You were great in it honestly; Leah sometimes asked you to do her homework when she came back too late from training. You’ll do it with pleasure, happy to help your big sister who paid you generously in candy. Or dried mango, your great passion.
On day after Leah turned 17, she made her big debut with Arsenal senior team. You were so proud of her, cheering her from the stand with all your family. It was very different of what it is now, but you already knew that she would make something amazing in football. And how much were you right.
It was at this period that Leah and you talked about a company that you could make together. Leah was studying accounting in case of her career wasn’t successful and you were very interested in marketing, publicity and human relations.
The Williamson Holding Corporation was founded in summer 2016, when you finished your tuition. You learned several languages (French, Spanish and Mandarin) during your free time and thanks to Leah and your parent’s financial help, you were able to start this adventure. Your company always were able to have a good profit every year. You were able to repay your parents already and Leah always refused, so you made her a founder, just like you.
Through the years, your company get a sponsorship with Arsenal and in particular Arsenal Women, obviously. Along the years, you managed to travel a lot to make your company known in other countries and find other financials, but you always managed to come back to see Leah play. You never missed one of her games, as crazy at it sound.
February 2020 – When you properly met Caitlin for the first time.
“Y/N! Sorry, can I borrow my sister for one second?”
Leah doesn’t wait for the answer to your interlocutor and takes your arm to drag you somewhere else. You let her though, secretly happy to have to finish this uninterested discussion with that weird man. You note mentally to be sure not to invite him to the next gala.
“Where’s the dead body?” you ask your sister who rolls her eyes.
“Don’t joke about it, we’ll get catch by Covid otherwise.”
You roll your eyes yourself, but don’t say anything. You just wait to your sister to stop at some time, for what she almost kidnapped you. You end up right in front of Caitlin Foord, the new signing for Arsenal. You already saw her to the games, you smirked when you caught her looking at you two time before realizing that you weren’t Leah, the first time she saw you. To her point, you were wearing Leah’s jersey.
“Cait, my sister. Sis, this is Caitlin.” Leah introduces you, before leaving you both to catch someone else.
“Uh, hello?” Caitlin mumbles with surprise, apparently not advertise that Leah were going to introduce you both.
“Hi” you giggle. “Nice to be properly introduced to you. Please excuse my sister, she isn’t the one who studied human relations.”
Your giggles and your joke help Caitlin to relax and you’re happy to see her smiling too.
“I can see that” Caitlin answers with her Australian accent.
You had a small talk with her about Australia, a country where you never been for now. You really looked to it though, and not only to have the opportunity to make your company bigger. Jacob and you always talked about going there for holidays. And after talking to Caitlin, you will definitively go to the east part of the country.
You were joined by Katie McCabe and the three of you started talking for a long time after that. Caitlin asked you several questions about your company and seems surprised to learn the amount of work you are putting in it.
“She’s a natural” Katie smirks “Everyone comes eat in her hand, she can make people do whatever she wants.”
You smirk back, raising an eyebrow while crossing your arms on your chest at the same time.
“Not everything with everyone.”
Katie doesn’t have the time to answer anyway, because Leah is back with her Williamson’s frown.
“No flirting with my teammates Y/N!”
“I wasn’t! I wouldn’t have any problem with Irish mafia.” you answer, thinking about Katie’s girlfriend.
You raise both of your hands to prove your innocence. Katie and you aren’t really flirting, it was more for fun and for joking with each other. Katie laughs while Leah hums for any answer and changed the subject just after that, training you, Katie and Caitlin in the discussion.
The night went great, and you are happy to be able to have some time with Leah’s teammates who are also your friends, especially the ones who are in the team since a long time. You get along pretty well with Caitlin too, who would accept really quickly to at least make a photoshoot and a sponsoring for your company. Unfortunately there is suddenly the lockdown and you weren’t able to do it before that.
October 2020 – The shooting
“Hi Y/N!”
You smile to the employee who greats you when you enter the building where the photoshoot for Caitlin was attending. Being at every single one is something you do every time, so your employees aren’t surprised to see you coming. You great them back, asking around if everything is fine with everyone. It seems to be, so you go to find Caitlin.
The Australian girl is just coming out of the room where she changed her clothes and find herself right in front of you.
“Oh hi! I didn’t know you will come.”
“I like to be here for this kind of things” you answer with a smile. “How are you?”
“I’m fine thank you” she smiles back.
“Y/N are you ok if we start?” the photographer asks.
“Of course. I’m going to sit here.”
You look at your phone on the way, answering a message from one of your managers before sitting on a chair some meters away from the different cameras. Caitlin doesn’t seem to be at ease at first, but soon she finds her way. You have a perfect and entirely trust in your team, but you have already red too much time how people can make other bad with their comportment, and you clearly don’t want that in your company. That’s why you don’t have a lot of employees too. That and the fact that you love have the control on everything.
After several shots, the photographer decides to make a break and you come over to see what the pictures look like. They are great to be honest.
“I really love this one” you smile, pointing one of the pictures.
Caitlin’s blue eyes are really showing in it. You haven’t realized how blue they are since now to be honest. You then raise your gaze on the girl, just to cross the same blue.
“I think this is my favorite too.”
You hum, before congratulating the photographer for her job. It’s the first time she does it for you, but you will certainly ask her to work for you again. She’s young, like you, and you like the idea to help young people to start in their life. Provided they deserve it, of course.
They take other pictures after that, and you choose five of them to post on the social media.
“Do you want to go to eat something?” you ask Caitlin when everything is finished.
You don’t always have the time to do it with everyone, but when you can, you do it. Like you said before, almost every girl in Arsenal is your friend. You know some of them more, like Jen Beattie, Katie McCabe, or Lia Wälti who are the closest to Leah to be honest. But you like all of them. You didn’t have the time to meet Steph Catley for now though. It probably will be coming soon.
Caitlin accepted your offer, and you take her to one of your favorite restaurants.
“I didn’t expect to eat at Nando’s to be honest” Caitlin smiles after you sat at your table.
“Oh” you answer, looking up from the menu you know by heart. “We can go somewhere else if you want, I thought – “
“No, it’s perfect here. I like it. I used to go there with my Mum and my sister a lot back in Australia.”
You smile softly, relaxing a little bit. People seems to forget sometimes that you are still a young woman who can enjoy eating burger or fries with her fingers.
“How are you settling in London?” you ask after the waiter came to take your command.
“Good, actually. The rain is something else, but the girls are great.”
“I heard you especially like the Swiss part” you smirk.
You laugh when Caitlin blushes. Leah told you about Lia and Caitlin relationship several weeks ago, when they start to date officially. You don’t have to tell Caitlin how you know it though; the girl understands it really quickly.
“Leah talks too much” she smiles nevertheless. “What about you? Are you seeing someone?”
“Not for now” you shake your head, adding when you see Caitlin’s questioning look. “I mean I had some dates slash fling with someone but it’s hard to be in a relationship while working so much. Girls seems to have a hard time understanding I will pass my family and my job before something else. I can understand though, so it’s better for me to be single for now.”
“I didn’t know you were into girls too. You really are Leah’s copy.”
“Maybe” you smile.
Your sister is your favorite person ever. You will never be upset to be compared to her. In your eyes, she’s the most amazing person in the world.
“I am lucky to be able to see her so much. I won’t be able to deal with it as good as you do.”
“It’s very hard sometimes. Because of the lockdown and all I wasn’t able to go back to Australia. I haven’t seen them for almost a year now…”
You wince at the sadness suddenly present in Caitlin’s eyes, regretting to have point this. You are interrupted by the waiter and your meal coming for you, but you excuse yourself anyway.
“I’m sorry to bring it up. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know, don’t worry” Caitlin smiles softly. “I will see them soon now.”
You look into Caitlin’s eyes for some more seconds to be sure that she’s saying the truth, before nodding slowly. She seems to be honest, and you are really relieved. Starting a friendship like this would have been the worst way. You finally smile back and report your attention on your plate just after Caitlin did.
The following of the conversation is a little easier, talking about Arsenal helps a lot. You talk to Caitlin about all the little things she maybe didn’t know for now and learn a lot of things about her and her past. She talked to you about her childhood and the financial difficulties her mother had, raising two children as a single mom. That makes you realize one more time how lucky you are to be where you are now. This kind of stories remember you about it and it’s never enough in your opinion.
October 2021 – The surprise
Unlike Caitlin was hopping, she wasn’t able to see her family as much as she wanted. She went in Switzerland with Lia though and told you that it was a very great time. You thought about her sometimes, remembering the trouble her eyes did to you, but you erased this kind of thoughts very quickly. Caitlin was in a happy relationship and there is no way you even look at a no-single lady.
You managed to build a friendship with her though and you sometimes went out with her, Lia, and Leah. You had a great time every time and you decided that it was perfect for you like this.
Caitlin opened herself to you about missing her family, but the tickets to come in London from Australia were expensive and you know that she doesn’t mean it like that, but you don’t think twice before contacting Caitlin’s sister and offering to them the tickets. They refuse at first, but you managed to find the good words. And, not for the situation being strange, you included Lia in the surprise.
After all, Caitlin was your friend and Lia was her girlfriend.
The Swiss woman went to the airport to take Jamie and her mother back to Caitlin home. Leah asked the team to put some interview or media things for Caitlin at the right time, to let you and her decorate Caitlin’s house with the most too much decoration ever. There is a banner writing “Surprise” on it, yellow and green balloons, an Australian flag, and you even managed to find a kangaroo balloon who is floating around the living room.
“That’s so kitsch. I love it” Leah smirks.
You giggle while looking around. You have to admit that you made a great job together. Two seconds after, Lia and the two Foord were coming inside the house. After some greetings and hugs, they looked at the decoration and approve it too.
“So, I guess this is our time to leave.” Leah says while looking at you.
You nod and prepare yourself to take your things to leave. It was without counting on Caitlin’s mother opinion.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Simone asks with her Australian accent. “You helped to do that; you’re definitively staying.”
“But – “ you start.
“No but.”
You see Jamie, Caitlin’s sister, rolling her eyes at her mother antics, but you don’t have time to say something else because Lia comes, running from the entrance where she was looking outside.
“She’s here! Hide!”
After a moment of panic, Jamie and Simone hide behind the couch while Leah and you went to the kitchen. Two seconds later, the door is open.
“Lia? You’re home?” Caitlin asks.
“In the living room, Love.”
You hear the characteristic sound of keys dropping on a wood furniture and Caitlin walking to the living room. You can’t help but peek in the room, Leah doing exactly the same thing a second after, her head above yours.
“Surprise!”
Caitlin probably had a heart attack, but you can’t help but smile seeing her face. Lia is doing the same thing while Jamie and Simone went to hug the shocked girl. You smirk seeing Leah getting emotional, what’s coast you a slap on the head. You send her the Williamson’s glare, but she doesn’t seem to be impress by at for a single second. Which probably make sense.
After some tears and explications, Leah proposed to serve the Champagne she choose to celebrate the reunion. Your sister and you try to escape one more time to let the Foord in family, but Simone doesn’t let you one more time.
It’s a little bit later that you find yourself alone with Caitlin, while you were looking for something alcohol free to drink.
“Lia told me what you did. I don’t have the words to thank you enough.”
Of course, Lia isn’t the kind of girl to take credits for something she hasn’t done. You smile and shrug at Caitlin.
“You don’t have to. I was happy to do that for you.”
Caitlin bites her lip and looks in your eyes.
“You know, when I mention that the tickets were expensive…”
“I know you weren’t saying it for me to do that, Cait. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”
“Ok.”
You smile again and were ready to go back to the living room, but Caitlin surprises you by giving you a hug. You weren’t expecting it to be honest, but it’s still pleasant. You hug her back, tightening her briefly against you.
“Thank you” she mumbles.
“You’re welcome.”
Spring 2022 – The Breakup
“Caitlin and Lia broke up”
“What?”
You stop your movement, your chopsticks between your mouth and your plate. You were having dinner with Leah in her house, like every Monday when you are in London. Leah snorts when the noodles fall back in your plate, making some sauce splash your shirt, but that’s not what you are concentrating on.
“What do you mean they broke up?”
Leah shrug et finish her chicken before answering you.
“It happened this weekend, Lia called me Sunday evening.”
“What happened?”
You were shocked. Lia and Caitlin seem to get along very well the last time you saw them.
“Nothing much. Lia said they just went apart and that her relationship was more comfortable than passionate now.”
“So, they’re ok?”
“I don’t really know for Caitlin. But Lia was still very upset about it. They are still friends and care for each other obviously, but they aren’t a couple anymore.”
You frown only, not really sure what to do about this information. Lia was a good friend of yours and you kind of have avoided Caitlin since you make her family come to England. You realized that day that you were too impacted with her happiness to be only a friend. In your mind, she was with Lia and this relationship would be like forever. It was to protect yourself too, falling for someone who isn’t single isn’t really your thing.
“Did you have news from Caitlin?”
“No” you answer, eating again. “I mean I saw her at the last games but that’s all.”
“Mh.”
“What?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing.”
“‘k.”
Several hours later, you were on your bed, your phone in your hand and the conversation with Caitlin opened. It wasn’t used since your birthday, Caitlin sent you a message to wish you happy birthday, but nothing since that.
Writing to her isn’t a good idea, even if she’s single now, she still in a middle of a breakup. But you still can be a good friend to her, right? You just have to put your feelings away.
From You Hi Caitlin, I heard about your breakup by Leah. I just wanted to tell that if you need someone to talk or something, don’t hesitate to call or write me, ok? I hope you’re ok. Take care of you.
You feel stupid to send her something like that after reading it again. It’s kind of cliché and you hate it. But surprisingly, Caitlin answers you relatively quickly.
From Caitlin Hello, thanks for your message. I will do and I hope you are ok too.
You bite your lips, not really happy about the answer. But in another way, what could you have expected? You didn’t really talk since last year and you were avoiding her like the plague. It’s only your fault.
After that day, you keep checking more frequently with Caitlin, asking her if she needs anything and how she is feeling. From what she answers, she was around a lot with Jordan and Katie. Your sister broke up some weeks ago with Jordan after longs years together, so that’s maybe the explanation of why Leah stays a little away of Caitlin.
You start to talk a lot and when Caitlin starts to be the first to write you can’t help but feel a strange something in your stomach. You also went to eat or drink something, your friendship slowly beginning to start again. You have to admit that you missed her. But she never said or show you anything to make you think that she missed you the way you do.
You think it’s better to have her in your life as a friend than not to have her, though.
Autumn 2022 – The New Season
You never missed a single match from Leah’s team since she plays for Arsenal, so there was no way that you will miss this one too. It’s the first game of the new season and you just came back from your holidays. You went some days with Leah in Ibiza before flying to Dubai with a friend.
You just have time to go home, take a shower and put your Arsenal jersey before coming to the stadium.
“Here she is!” Leah says happily when she sees you.
She hugs you like you haven’t seen each other in months and not ten days. But you hug her back, kissing her cheek before she releases you.
“Someone got a tan” she smirks, taking a step back to have a better look at you.
Unlike Leah, you have the ability to tan. Leah just gets red when she exposed herself without protection. You roll your eyes but don’t respond anything, your attention being catch by a certain Australian striker coming in your direction, five steps away from Leah now.
“And you’re not with your girlfriend?” Leah asks, a teasing smirk always on her face.
“Girlfriend?”
By now Caitlin is just next to Leah and was able to hear your sister. You roll your eyes at her antics before answering.
“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s a friend.”
You frown when Leah snorts and left saying something like “yeah sure”. You watch her leave several seconds before turning to Caitlin.
“She’s not my girlfriend” you say again.
You don’t know why you feel the need to assure that to Caitlin, she probably doesn’t give a single shit about it. In fact, she smiles at you and pass an arm around you to salute you. You didn’t talk a lot a lot during those ten days, the different timetables were insane.
“It’s good to see you” she says before letting you go.
“Good to see you too. How is the comeback from Australia?”
“Still a little jet lag, but I’m fine.”
You smile at her and take the time to really look at her. You don’t do it a lot, scared to fall for her again. I mean, harder. Because now that you have thought about it a little more, you remembered that Leah always told you not to even flirt with one of her teammate. Falling in love with one of them would be worse than everything. You know that she will react very badly to you in a relationship with one of them. You are scared to lose her; Leah will probably never forgive you if she learns that you are in love with Caitlin.
“You look good” you smile sincerely at her.
“Thanks”
You both hear someone calling her on the back, the drills are going to begin, and she has to go.
“Hey, are you still in London tomorrow?” she asks suddenly.
“Yes, why?”
“There is a new place near mine, and they are making brunch who look stunning. Do you want to come?”
“Sure” you smile. “Text me the address and the time.”
After a nod and a smile, she’s gone where she’s needed. The game went great, they got an easy win. And you try to stay impartial when Caitlin got carded.
Christmas 2022 – The New Delivery service
You were at your parent’s house with all your family, without counting Jacob who stayed in Australia this year. Your mother was sad but thanks to a long video call during the moment when you all opened your presents, she seems a little less sad about it. You eat way too much, drink maybe a little too much too. That’s why your mother more or less forbade you to take your car to go home.
Leah stayed too and you are both chilling in one of your parents’ couch with a hot tea. Some Christmas movie is on TV, but you are in a food coma and can’t really focus on it to be honest. You are cuddling against Leah who is playing with your hair.
“Have you heard from Caitlin those days?” your sister asks suddenly.
“We said Merry Christmas to each other this morning, but I guess she’s sleeping now given the time. Why you ask?”
The friendly relationship you have with Caitlin is known by a lot of your friends and family now. And despite all your efforts, you are now deeply in love with her. Seeing her at least both a week don’t help, but you can’t help yourself. When you’re not asking, Caitlin proposes you something and you can’t say no to her.
She told you during autumn that she doesn’t feel very well in her life sometimes, so you made the statement to keep an eye on her.
“She asks to have a mental break. I’m not sure when or if she will come back from Australia. She will miss the first trainings for sure.”
“She didn’t say anything to me” you frown.
She doesn’t have to, to be fair. You are just friends, you’re not her best friend or her sister. She doesn’t owe you anything. But you are still worried.
Later, in your room, you are thinking about a way to send her a message. You don’t want to accuse her of anything or make her feel more pressure. You don’t want to take a place you don’t have too, you sometimes wonder if she’s not having something with Jordan, which would be a little strange maybe. But once again, she doesn’t owe you anything.
From You Hey, I’m sorry if you feel that it’s not my place to ask. But Leah told me that you needed a mental break, so I was wondering if you were ok?
You wait some minutes before thinking again and realizing the stupidity of your message.
From You Forget my question, it was stupid. You asked for a mental break, of course you’re not ok Can you forget those messages please?
You stop there not to look even more strange. You cringe when you throw your phone somewhere on your bed before deciding to go take a long and hot shower. You roll your eyes when your father menace you to make you pay their hot water bill but don’t say anything other than a “Sorry Dad”.
You smile when you hear Leah laughing from her room, before going back to your childhood bedroom. You have a double bed since you are eighteen so you can lay down crosswise it in your towel and look at the ceiling how you want. You soon start to think about how weird your messages to Caitlin were, so you take your phone again.
Just to see that you have two missed calls from Caitlin.
You call her back without waiting a single second, putting your headphone while you wait for her to answer. You realize that it was a FaceTime call only when she answers you with a black screen.
“Hello” she says in a sad voice.
You may be only imagining that because you learned about her need of a mental break only two hours ago.
“Hi. Sorry I missed your calls.”
“Don’t worry. Were you in the shower?”
“How do you know?” you frown.
“You literally are in a towel?”
You lower your eyes on your body and facepalm mentally. If you had one pound every time you humiliate yourself in front of her, you would have been way richer by now.
“Oh shit. Can you wait for a second?”
She hums and you put your phone on the bed to put a shirt and some panties, mentally insulting yourself. You take the time to take a big breath before going back in your bed and taking your phone in your hand.
“Are you still in bed?” you ask, curious about the black screen.
“No, I’m still in my room though. I just… I don’t know. It was stupid to me to call you in FaceTime.”
“Don’t worry. How are you feeling?”
“I’m tired. Like mentally tired. Being at home made me realize that I don’t have a lot keeping me at London right now.”
That hurt. But you don’t say anything, planting your nails deep into the skin of your palms.
“What are you talking about? You have friends here; the girls of the team love you. And the fans too.”
“The fans aren’t really happy of me right now, I’m not able to score a lot and making my job right. I keep disappointing everyone.”
“You have the right to feel a little uneasy, that doesn’t take away from you what you achieved those last months, you know.”
Caitlin doesn’t answer, but you hear her sight a little bit. You don’t know if it’s something to hide some tears and you feel your heart break a little imagining that. You let several seconds pass before talking again.
“What can make you feel better right now?”
“For real? One of the brunches we eat.”
You smile hearing that. The place next to her house became one of your favorite spots to eat together. You really love it too, maybe because you share a lot of secrets and laughs here.
“Really?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing.”
You are lying. An idea had already pop in your head and you feel your brain running while you’re planning something in your head. Caitlin knows you enough to realize that you are up to something. You hear some shuffling, and you imagine that Caitlin just sits on her bed.
“What are you thinking?”
“Nothing” you answer, smiling.
“Y/N. Don’t you dare do something stupid.”
You did. The morning after the call, you went to the restaurant, took Caitlin usual command, and jump in the jet who belongs to your company. You don’t usually use it for long trip like this, but you wanted to be in Australia as soon as possible.
You feel a little bit stupid with your suitcase and the bag where Caitlin’s food is. You ask for it to be wrap carefully and explain that you want to take it on a trip, without mentioning it was a very long trip. Thanks to the fridge, you are sure that you won’t poison Caitlin.
You told to Leah that you have an urgent meeting somewhere in Australia with a possible investor that you can’t ignore. She’s a little bit gutted not to be able to pass New Year with you, but you promised to bring her some Lamington to eat with her tea. In fact, you’re not really lying, you do have someone who is interested by your company in Australia. You just aren’t really obliged to travel here to talk to him.
You swallow with difficulty when you are in front of Caitlin’s porch, hopping that you won’t have to face her mother or her sister. You didn’t mention to Caitlin that you were coming, so if she wants you to go away, you just will. You still have some things to do in Australia, you weren’t totally lying to Leah. You just hide the fact that your priority was to see Caitlin.
You take a big breath before knocking on the door. This is a bad idea. Maybe the worst idea you never had. Why are you so good in your job and so stupid when it concerns the girl you are in love with?
But you don’t have the possibility to stress even more, because soon the door is opening. Caitlin looks at you like you are a hallucination or something.
“Um. I have a delivery for miss Foord?”
You let your suitcase in the car you rent, so you just have the bag with the food in your hand. You lift it to show it to her and it doesn’t take her more than a second to recognize the logo.
“Y/N, what the hell?” she mumbles, taking it in her hand.
“I… Uh. Well, I have stuff to do in Australia for the company and I thought that because I’m on this part of the globe, it could be great to please you.”
You’re lying. And very bad. Caitlin is looking at you like you are crazy, and you can’t blame her, you made a 24 hours journey to take her some breakfast and see her. She’s not supposed to know the truth, but you feel like she has some suspicions. You feel yourself blush and offer her a small smile.
“I better go. Enjoy your food and see you later.”
Maybe you’ll go let yourself die in the middle of the Australian’s desert. With a little luck, some snake or scorpions are going to come to bite you and you will die in atrocious suffering.
“No, wait!”
She grabs your arm with her hand, and you turn in her direction. She’s looking at you with a strange gaze, that you don’t know from her.
“Do you want to drink something? We don’t have Earl Grey, but I still can make you a tea if you want to.”
“Ok” you smile softly.
Caitlin doesn’t let your arm go and took you inside. It’s very quiet and after several seconds you ask her if her mother or sister are here. She answers no, her sister is now leaving with her fiancé and her mother is working today. You nod, secretly relieved to know that you won’t have to face Simone for now. You’re pretty sure that she understood when you saw her the last time the real feelings you have for her daughter.
“Where are you staying?” Caitlin asks while you look at her making you a cup of tea.
“At Park Hyatt”
“In Sydney?”
You hum and she frowns while giving you the cup of tea. It’s fuming and because you are drinking a lot of tea, she knows that you like it with sugar and milk.
“And you wanted to go back in Sydney just after giving me the brunch?”
“Brunch that you aren’t eating, by the way.”
Realizing it, Caitlin takes the bag one more time before taking out the different packages. She still looking at you discreetly, but you busy yourself by drinking your tea.
New Year 2022-2023 – The New Beginning
Caitlin proposes to you to stay at her home and not to go to your hotel, but you refused. You don’t want to bother Caitlin or her mother. That doesn’t mean you don’t see Caitlin; in fact, you see her every day for several hours.
She even invited you to come to the party her friends are making for the New Year. You accepted, after asking her several times if she’s sure that you won’t be a burden. The third time you ask, she threatened to knock you out with her vegemite pot, so you stopped.
And when you’re not with Caitlin, you work. You don’t have the possibility to see your brother who is on the other side of Australia. You almost lost consciousness when you learned that it takes 41 hours by car to get to Perth. So, you promise Jacob that you will see him before going back to England. Still with your jet.
You call Leah and your mother every day, but you are still focused on your goal to make Caitlin comes back to London with you. She seems a little down to be honest, but she seems to be better day after day. It gives you hope.
“Would you like to stay her to sleep tonight?” Caitlin asks on the 31th December while you were sitting next to her on the couch.
“Oh… I don’t know, I still have my hotel room.”
“Come on, it’s like 2 hours from here. And if you drink, I would rather that you stay here. My Mother will sleep in one of her friend’s houses anyway.”
“Yeah, ok” you mumble. “Wouldn’t let you all alone I case you’ll be scared.”
You can see Caitlin’s smile from the corner of your eyes. You hate the pleasant feeling with the fact that she seems to care about you. One thing is sure, this trip doesn’t help you about how in love you are with this girl.
You never talked so much with Caitlin before now, and you never were so close of her. Like right now, you are watching TV and Caitlin’s legs are on yours. You put your hand on the knees of the Australian like it’s nothing, mechanically drawing shapes on it. Sometimes she put her head on your shoulder, and you have to concentrate yourself to stay cool about it.
You grab something to eat before going to take a shower and prepare for the party. You know that they would have been pictures of the night so you tell Leah that Caitlin invites you to pass the night with her and her friends, you know your sister would have been worried to learn that you are alone tonight. Or sad. And you don’t want any of it.
To be honest, you haven’t taken an outfit for the party, you thought that you would be alone in your hotel room. So, you have to shop in Sydney to find the right one. You were getting ready in Jamie’s old bedroom and were looking at yourself with skepticism when Caitlin comes to knock on the door.
“Can I come in?”
“Yep” you simply answer.
She enters the room, and you want to cry. You always had something for her with her hair down and with the outfit she chooses, she’s just breathtaking.
“You look stunning” you say, without thinking about the consequences.
You are surprised to see her blush and hide your smirk by finishing to style your hair.
“Can we take a picture for my sister?” you ask to the Australian woman.
She nods and you briefly hesitate between a selfie or a mirror picture. You choose the second one, posing with a smile and the V-form with your fingers while Caitlin is sticking out her tongue.
You send the picture to Leah with Caitlin looking above your shoulder. The proximity makes your heartbeat faster, but you try to keep it cool one again.
“Are you ready to go?”
You follow Caitlin outside and in the Uber you command to go to her friend’s house. Knowing you both will be drinking, it’s safer this way. You already met some of Caitlin’s friends during your stay and they all are very friendly. But tonight, they will be more of them. The house is pretty crowded already when you arrived, and you are relieved to feel Caitlin grabs your arm.
“Stay next to me, yeah?”
You thank the World for Caitlin being a little shy at first and making her able to understand that you might not feeling ok surrounded by a lot of stranger people. You take the excuse to cross the house to slip your hand in hers. Her hand is soft and warm, and you miss the feeling when you have to let her go.
Caitlin introduces you to some of her friend’s you haven’t met for now. And if you notice the interested and non-subtle look of one of them, you act like you don’t realize it at first. But then, she starts to talk to you so much that you almost don’t have the possibility to pass time with Caitlin.
At some point, you even lose sight of her. And you don’t like the idea, what if someone get close to her? In the way you dream of it? You don’t know if you would support it to be honest, not after being so close of her.
“Come on, let’s dance!” Julia tells you, taking you away of your thoughts.
She takes you on the part of the house being dedicated for the dancefloor and you follow her without saying anything. You look around to see if you can see Caitlin, but it seems like she’s not here. You distract yourself by dancing with Julia who is a pretty good dancer to be honest.
At some point, she comes closer to you to be able to be heard through the loud music. Her hand is on your hips and her mouth right next to your ear.
“It’s a shame that you live so far away. I really would like to know you better.”
You sigh internally, wondering how someone can flirt with you with such facilities when you can’t even make a hint for Caitlin to understand how much you care for her. You don’t have time to answer anything, because there is suddenly someone taking your arm and you recognize the softness of those hand before turning around.
“Mind if I take her back?” Caitlin asks.
Julia raises both of her hand in sign of surrender with a smile. She says something like “Talk to you later” but you don’t really listen to her, your eyes being plunged in Caitlin’s one.
She looks upset, but her voice is calm when she speaks to you.
“I’m going outside. Would you come with me?”
“Sure” you smile softly.
She hadn’t let go of your arm, but you pass your other around it to be sure not being separated from her during your journey to the door. You feel pathetic but you’ll do anything to be able to be close from her. Everyone seems to be here by now and the house is very crowded. With the music, the laughs, and the discussions, going outside is finally a good idea.
There is no one in the garden and the fresh air makes you shiver. But you prefer to be concentrated on Caitlin who has a wrinkle between her eyebrows from frowning. She sits on a low wall, and you follow her to stand next to her, looking at the moon to forget how much you want to touch her.
“Are you ok?” you ask after several minutes of silence.
“I am” she only answer, looking at the horizon.
It seems to you that she is not, but you don’t say anything else. You thought that she asked you to come with her to talk or something, but it seems like you were wrong. Caitlin doesn’t stay silence for long though, turning suddenly in your direction.
“No, in fact I’m not.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m trying to figure out things, and I can’t. And I really need to do it now because otherwise I think I’m really going to become crazy.”
She seems angry and desperate at the same time. She’s talking with her arms, a thing that she usually doesn’t. Hopping to help her to relax a little, you come near her, putting your hand on her knee.
“You can tell me everything, you know that right?”
She sighs, passing a hand on her face. You have the feeling to understand what she think, and that it’s the fact that she doesn’t know where to begin.
“I just… You came here from your appointment but you brought me food just because I mentioned the day before.”
“Yes” you confirm quietly.
It’s maybe better for you not to precise that you went to your appointment because you came here. This feels maybe a little creepy.
“And you told me that you start writing me and talking to me more because you heard by Leah that I was struggling after my breakup with Lia.”
“Yes” you say again.
“Why did we stop talking by the way? It looks like suddenly we grow apart?”
You shrug only, not knowing what to answer to her. You obviously take care not to cross her eyes when you answer.
“Why did you come back anyway? After my breakup?”
“Because I care for you” you answer, looking at her carefully.
“I think I need to know how much you care about me” she says slowly, and you are happy to be in the dark because your cheeks are bright red. “Please, Y/N. Because sometimes I feel like you like me as a friend and sometimes, I feel like there is more than that. But when I tell myself that, you kind of back off and everything is strange and blur again. Just like tonight, I thought that we would pass the night together, but you kept dancing with Julia and I understand because she’s fun and beautiful. But I hated to see you with her, and everything is… blur. And I really need to understand.”
It's your turn to stay silence, because where the hell could you start. You are not closed to answer to her questions, but you are scared because what you have seems so fragile to you.
“Are you interested in me more than a friend?” she finally asks.
Well, maybe you should have talk before because this question is very difficult to answer. Not because you don’t know the answer but because it can change anything. You swallow your saliva with difficulty before answering. You can’t lie to her.
“Yes. I am.” you mumble.
You hear Caitlin taking a big breath before expiring and you just can’t look at her. You hear the people inside getting excited and you wonder if it’s because it will soon be midnight.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caitlin asks quietly.
“Because I care about you! At first you were in a relationship, and you seemed so happy in it and why in the world would I be between someone and their happiness? Then you broke up with Lia and you seemed so sad and so lost, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you in any way.”
You were talking fast, and loud, the feelings of all of it taking over the rest. You were struggling too, so much, but it was easier anyway to keep all of those feelings inside.
“And now? Why didn’t you say anything?”
You sigh and shrug. You just admitted that you were basically in love with her since day one, what can be worse than that anyway?
“Because I prefer to have you in my life as a friend than to take the risk to lose you.”
There is a moment of silence and just before Caitlin start to talk again, you hear the other people starting to count the seconds before midnight and the New Year.
“You are an idiot.”
10… 9… 8…
You hear Caitlin talk and even if the words could have been harsh, you have the feeling that she is smiling. You just have to look at her to see that she actually is, not her big toothy smile, but the small one. Her smirk.
“What?” you ask.
“You’re an idiot, Y/N Williamson.”
7…6…5…
Caitlin jumps from the small wall she was sitting on to come closer to you. You are frozen, you just watch her move to be right in front of you. You can smell her perfume, see how much her eyes are blue. She looks at your eyes too, before that her eyes drop on your lips.
4…3…2…
She cups your jaw with her hand, so tenderly that you just want to melt only with that gesture. Your heart almost went out of your body when you realize that she’s leaning to you, still letting you the possibility to back off if you want to.
You don’t want to.
1…0
Just when your lips met, the firework of the city irrupts in the sky, being a pretty good metaphor of what you’re feeling inside right at this moment. You are finally kissing the girl you are in love with and she’s kissing you back. She even put her hand in your back to press you against her while her other hand left your jaw to be on your neck.
When the air became an issue, you press your forehead against hers, without being able to suppress the big smile on your face. When you open your eyes, you see that she’s looking at you, offering a shy smile.
“Do you want to go home? To talk about all of this?”
“Talking?” you smile softly.
“Well, maybe kissing too, a little bit.”
16 August 2023 – The World Cup
You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s the semi-finale of the Women World Cup in Australia and your national team, England just won it place for the finale against Spain. You distractedly prevent your sister from jumping from excitement, so as not to make her knee injury worse. You would probably have been happier about the results if Leah were on the pitch, to be honest.
You are looking at your girlfriend’s silhouette, sitting on the floor. You can’t express how much you would like to go on the pitch and hug her tightly. You know how much this game meant for Caitlin and the rest of her team. Seeing her away from you from only several meters when you weren’t able to see her from almost two months is hard too.
You chose to hide your relationship with Caitlin to anyone around you, except Caitlin’s mother who definitively can read way to easily into people. So, you weren’t able to explain to your sister why you felt so moody those past days, the distance between you and Caitlin being hard to deal with. You can’t explain how much you missed her. Even if you call each other every day, it wasn’t the same.
You were busy helping Leah with her injury though, taking her to every single of her appointment, letting Lia Wälti doing it when you weren’t able to. Since Caitlin left, you went to live to Leah’s. And when your big sister told you that she was coming to Australia to the match, you came too. You even were able to see your brother this time.
After the game, Leah took you to the locker room to meet her teammates and you hug the ones playing to Arsenal. And Alessia Russo, who is coming for the new season too. You were talking to Mary Earps when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Excusing yourself, you get out the locker room to answer when you see Caitlin’s ID on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Are you still in the stadium?”
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I just went back to my hotel room. Everyone is so sad, I can’t look at them right now.”
You pout, hearing that said sadness in Caitlin’s voice too. You can easily imagine her on her bed, still her Matilda’s jogging.
“I’m so sorry Babe” you whisper in your phone, looking around you to be sure that no one is around. “You played great and I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks” she mumbles before adding “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, so so much. When are you going back to London?”
“Two days after the game against Sweden. They still want to make a celebration about all of it in Sydney. Are you still staying to watch the finale?”
“Yes, Leah got us tickets. I’m going back the day after though; would you like to go back with me instead?”
She hums only and you’re not sure that she really understands what you ask her. You are not angry or hurt anyway, you know that she has to deal with the lost and the sadness of it. You just want to make her feel better.
One hour later, you were waiting for her to answer to you in front of her door. You managed to sneak inside the hotel and left Leah with Keira and Georgia. You are not sure that she realized you were missing, so happy to be able to pass time with some of her closest friends.
You knock again when you realized that no one is answering, not too hard. You don’t want to attract anybody’s attention. You were tense, scared to be seen by someone. Thanks God, Caitlin finally opens her door and looks at you like she’s seeing a ghost.
“Are you alone?” you whisper.
“Yes, but…”
Just like her mother would say, no but. You entered the room and immediately pass your arms around her neck to kiss her. Caitlin needs several seconds to realize what is happening before kissing you back.
“What are you doing here?” she asks gently when you release each other.
“I missed you. And you are sad and being just dozens of meters away from you without being able to talk to you killed me.”
Caitlin smile sadly, taking your hand to make you sit on her bed. Unlike you were thinking, she changed her clothes and is wearing a short with a hoodie. It feels very soft when you take her against you to hug her. You close your eyes, letting yourself invade by her sent.
“I was looking at you every time I was able to. You are hot in a jersey, but yellow would have suits you better than white.”
She pulls gently on the white t-shirt you’re wearing, a number eight with Williamson on the back, of course. You smile softly, kissing her temple. She snuggles closer to you, passing on of her leg on your own.
“Have you eaten something?” you ask.
“Nah. I’m not really hungry for now.”
“What about a bath?”
“I already took a shower.”
“Ok, I’m asking the question again. What about a bath with me?” you ask after a sigh.
You feel her smirk against you, and she sit on the bed to be able to look at you.
“You mean I’ll have the possibility to get you away from this horrible jersey and having you naked against me by the same move? I’ll be crazy to say no.”
You roll your eyes and throw a cushion at her before getting up from the bed. You then go to the bathroom to start running the water, waiting patiently to find the right temperature. You check your phone just to be sure that Leah isn’t looking for you when the tube is getting filled, and then you go back to Caitlin in the room.
“It’s ready when you are Babe.”
You give her both hands to help her to get up from the bed, which she doesn’t hesitate to take. But, as she gets up from the bed, she’s not following you to the bathroom like you thought she would. She passes her arms around your shoulder, holding you tight against her.
Understanding what she needs, you hold her back, even firmer against you. You are higher from several centimeters from her, not so much though. But you like the way she can easily hide her face in your neck without taking strange position. You rock her softly, kissing her cheeks and her hair several times, only to release her when she’s ready.
“Thanks for coming here for me” she whispers against your skin.
“Every time” you smile sincerely, looking tenderly at her.
She smiles back and cup your chin with her hand, before following you to the bathroom this time. You try to make her go alone in the tub; you really just want her to relax. But you finish with her in it, massaging slowly her back.
You know her team has special masseurs and that they are definitively way more skillful that you are. But seeing how your girlfriend has her eyes closed and let you do whatever you want, it must not be unpleasant. Except that the moan and whispers she’s making are making you think about something else, and please everyone forgive you, but you don’t had sex for two months and your girlfriend is naked in front of you.
“Why d’you stop?” Caitlin mumble with a pout.
You are glad that she’s sitting in front of you and that she can’t see your face, because you are bright red once again. You don’t want to take advantage of her, she’s upset and tired. You kiss her shoulder though, getting her hair out of the way. You love her with her hair down. Have you already mentioned it?
“Isn’t it time for great footballer to go to bed?”
She groans and turn around to face you. You are trying hard to just look at her face and not being distracted by everything else. But then she sits on your lap, and you have to get out of the water right now.
“Why are you so tense?” she frowns. “You may be the one needing a massage.”
You laugh softly and decide to be honest with her since not talking about your feelings made you lost time before. And you are a very bad liar. You bite your bottom lip before answering.
“I haven’t seen you in like two whole months, which mean that I haven’t touch you from two months, Caitlin. And you are naked on me and I’m really trying to be a good and caring girlfriend without sinful ideas because I know how much disappointed you are, but you make it very hard. Plus, the water is getting cold.”
The realization appears on her face, before being erased by mischievous smile.
“We still can put hot water in it.”
In the end, you add hot water on the tub several times. When you emerge from the bath, you are as tired as Caitlin, and she doesn’t need many pleas to make you stay with her. You were planning to go back to your hotel room that night to be honest. But you don’t. You answer to Leah who wrote you to tell you that she’s sleeping with the team and asked you if you want to go with her before going under the cover next to your Aussie’s girlfriend.
You lie face to face with her and smile when she starts to stroke your face.
“You are so beautiful.”
You roll your eyes and smile.
“You need to sleep Foord; you are starting to get delirious.”
She frowns and hit your forehead before leaning to kiss you. You smile against her lips and when she turns around to let you cuddle her from behind, you don’t need more than several seconds to fall asleep.
Hours later, you are waking up of your peaceful sleep by a deep voice with an Australian accent.
“Caitlin Foord what the hell?!”
Caitlin jumps next to you and you groan, hiding under the cover. Before you understand what is really happening, your girlfriend took Mackenzie Arnold by the arm to take her with her in the bathroom.
“Why the hell is there Leah Williamson half naked in your bed?” Mackenzie whisper-shout from the bathroom.
You roll your eyes, rolling on your back to grab your phone. It’s more than 9 in the morning, you really should have put an alarm on your phone. Thanks god, there isn’t message from Leah for now.
“It’s not Leah” you hear Caitlin answer.
“I have bloody eyes you know?”
Now that you realize what is happening, your heart is pounding. Mackenzie isn’t a close friend of Leah, but you know that her girlfriend is a good friend of Alessia who is a good friend to Leah. And you. But more to Leah. And you obviously can’t let anyone near Leah know about your relationship.
“It’s not Leah! … It’s her sister.”
There is a moment of silence and then
“You are in so much trouble. Leah is going to kill you.”
“I know! That’s why you have to shut your mouth Macca, even with Kristy.”
Mackenzie snorts and even you can’t see it, you easily can imagine Caitlin’s imploring look. There is a sigh, and you sit on the bed.
“Alright, I’m not saying anything. But you really should have chosen someone else to get over the lost.”
“It’s not just… We are together, actually. Like in couple.”
“Oooh that’s why you are always glued to your phone?”
“It’s not really the time to talk about that right now” Caitlin points.
She’s right, but you can’t help but smile at this. You are happy to have a good abonnement though, otherwise you will probably be poor because of your phone’s bill. There is some more noise, and the door handle goes down before the gesture suddenly stops.
“Not a word to Alanna too, please.”
“Promise.”
After that they are both out of the bathroom and you smile awkwardly to Mackenzie before she waves at you and get out of the room.
“I’m so sorry.”
Caitlin looks so tense that you almost feel sorry for her, but you are really stressed too. You shouldn’t have stayed the night here. Sighing, you get up from the bed to look for your clothes.
“It’s not your fault.”
Caitlin hums and while you are getting ready, a question pops suddenly in your head. You look up at your girlfriend who is sitting on the windowsill, looking outward. She’s still in her pj’s with her bed hair.
“Cait?” you call her softly.
She just turns her head in your direction. To distract yourself a little bit, you braid your hair while asking the question bothering you.
“I shouldn’t be concerned about Mackenzie coming in your room at random hours of the day or night, right?”
Her face goes soft, and she breaks the few meters between you to stop right in front of you.
“You don’t have anything to be worried about” she answers, slipping a rebellious lock of hair behind your ear. “No one is in my mind apart from you. Plus Macca has her own girlfriend.”
“Ok.” you smile before hugging her.
You stay in her arms longer than usual. Saying her goodbye is hard even if you know you will see her again in several days now.
April 2024 – The Fight
It was several months after the World Cup that Caitlin mentions for the first time to talk to Leah about your relationship. You were still hiding at that time, just like you are still doing now. You refuse to do it, saying that it was too early and explaining to her again why you can’t do that for now.
She understood your place but then she talked about it again in January, when you had to wait for several days to have a date to celebrate your first anniversary. The date being the First of January, you were obviously passing the day with Leah and your family. You gave her the same answer, it’s too soon and you don’t want to fight with your sister when she’s about to come back on the pitches from her injury.
But now, Caitlin is talking about it again and you can feel how much she’s frustrated about it. You try to make everything to distract her from that idea. You took her on trip just the two of you, using once again your jet to gain time. You are sleeping at her house every time you can. In reality you would love to be open about your relationship, in front of your friends and family at least. But you can’t take the risk to lose or disappoint your sister.
“It’s been a year and three months, Y/N.” Caitlin is saying, frowning like never before. “Leah is back on the pitch; we won the finale against Chelsea and your last deal went well and there is nothing holding us now. Well, except you.”
You sigh, pitching the base of your nose. You don’t want to fight with her. It happens almost never to be fair, only when you are talking about this.
“I can’t do it now, Babe. I just… I don’t know how Leah would react and I can’t take any risks.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“I can’t, Caitlin.”
She snorts and cross her arms on her chest. She’s hurt, you can see it. You try to take a step to touch her, but she backs up from two steps where you took one. Your arm falls stupidly against your hip.
“Come on, you can’t ask me to choose between you and my sister. I told you since the beginning why we can’t talk about it to people.”
“Why are we even together then?” she asks coldly.
The question hurts but you decided to ignore the feeling to stay honest to your girlfriend and make her understand your statement.
“Well I don’t know, because I love you?” you answer, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t feel like it’s really the case right now.”
“Don’t say that” you frown too. “You know that I love you.”
But Caitlin is shaking her head and starts collecting her things around your living room. She’s shaking and you try once again to make her stop. Your arguments have never been deeper.
“Baby, please…” you start but she cuts you.
“No. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t stay with you if that means we’ll never evolve in any way. I just can’t.”
You feel numb when you look at her putting her shoes and taking her vest. You follow her like a lost puppy in the entrance, trying once again to grab her arm. You are successful this time and she stops her movements.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. Let go of me now, please.”
You just obey, slowly releasing her arm. There is a lump in your throat when you talk again.
“Are you breaking up with me?”
Your voice is hardly even a whisper, but Caitlin doesn’t miss it. Her blue eyes cross yours when she looks up over her shoulder.
“Talk to you soon.”
And then, she’s gone. You try to call her of course, texted her too, but she never answered. It’s with puffy red eyes and tears on her face that Leah finds you under your covers in your bed several hours later. She got scared when she doesn’t receive any answer to her text and just come to your home.
She hugs you at first, helping you to calm down to be able to talk and explain what is happening. You hesitated at first, before telling her everything. Well, almost everything because you never mentioned Caitlin’s name or the fact that she knows Leah.
“Tell me her name and I will go on her to make you cry like this.”
Your big sister managed to take you out from your bed to go to the living room and made you drink water and eat something. There are still tears running on your face from time to time, but Leah takes the time to wipe them gently each time.
“She just broke up with me. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Leah makes a grimace before taking you back against her for a new hug.
“If she can’t wait for you, it means that she didn’t deserve you, Love.”
“Can we stop talking about her? Please.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
Leah puts the TV on, starting a random show and you try to concentrate on it. You can’t really, but you are still so thankful for your sister. The way she listened to you talking, holding you while you cry like a crazy woman without pushing you to know anything else makes you think that maybe she wouldn’t have scream if you talked to your love for Caitlin. But it’s too late anyway. Caitlin doesn’t want you anymore.
********
Two days after, on Saturday, Leah took you to the game. She almost hasn’t left your side, only to go to training. You are still working though, losing yourself in work. Like you always did before Catilin.
“What’s happening to your sister?” Lia asks Leah during the training.
Your sister turns in your direction, watching you several seconds before sighing. She’s aware that Caitlin isn’t far away from them, but she doesn’t know where your problem comes from, so she answers anyway. Caitlin is supposed to be your friend after all.
“She’s navigating through her first breakup” Leah answers, still looking at you.
Your mother is sitting next to you, she has her hand on your shoulder. Leah explained to your parents what was happening to you and of course your mother is looking for you like you are dying. You are looking at the pitch, but Leah can tell that you aren’t really looking. Unless you’ve discovered in yourself a passion for corner posts.
“Oh? I didn’t know she had someone.”
“Me neither” your sister sighs. “She’s like this since Wednesday but she doesn’t want to tell me who she is.”
Next to your sister, Caitlin gulps nervously when she crosses Steph’s gaze. Caitlin is a mess since Wednesday too. She took the decision to leave, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her. She almost called you a thousand times. She missed you and wasn’t able to hide her sadness with the people who know her the best. Steph Catley is one of them.
“What?” Caitlin snaps at her teammate.
“Nothing” Steph answers, still looking at her suspiciously.
Caitlin went back to the bench nervously to grab something to drink, looking discreetly in your direction. Now your mother is talking to you, and you are looking at her, but Caitlin knows you very well and realizes how destroyed you look. Of course, it made her sadder than ever, but she still has her point. She wants to move in with you, be able to talk about her girlfriend to everyone one, she wants to take you on date in London and not only seeing you in one of your apartments. She wants to be able to walk holding your hand where you both live, not in the other side of the world. She wants to be able to take a plane without needing to hide in the airport.
You were hopping that Caitlin will be benched today, but she’s starting just like Leah. Which means that you will have to look at her for 90 minutes, knowing that you lost her.
It’s a great game to be honest, and while your mother feed you with fries and chicken nuggets (it’s a family thing) you are able to distract yourself enough not to cry while watching your ex-girlfriend.
Leah is sub at the 78th minute and Caitlin is still playing. You would have preferred for her to go on the bench too, particularly when she got hurt five minutes after that. The tackle wasn’t clean at all and you know right away that Caitlin is hurt. Like really hurt. You don’t need to see the stretchers coming for her, you don’t need the concerned looks of her teammate or Katie shouting at the girl taking Caitlin down.
You are up of your seat instantly, trying to have a better look of what is happening. They take longs agonizing minutes to get Caitlin out of the pitch and you run in the locker room in hope to be able to see her. But you just run into Leah.
“I’m going to the hospital to be with her” your sister explains to you. “I’m not allowed to go with her to the ambulance so I’ll take my car.”
“Can I come with you?”
“Sure.”
You are relieved that she doesn’t question you, but once again Caitlin and you are supposed to be friends. Even close friends. You follow Leah to the parking, and she’s ignoring the fan calling her name for the first time. You are so nervous that you want to throw up and you are glad that your sister isn’t talking, otherwise you are not sure that you will be able to contain yourself.
One of the Arsenal’s medics is waiting for you when you arrive, and he takes you into a private waiting room. From now, you just have to wait. Sitting next to Leah, you put your head on her shoulder and are glad that her cuddle instinct is so high when she passes her arm around your waist to hug you. You really don’t deserve her love; you were lying to her from months now.
Leah was scrolling on her phone for what feels like hours when someone comes in the waiting room.
“Are you here for miss Foord?” the medic asks.
“We are” Leah answers while getting up. “How is she?”
“Right. So, her leg has a doble fracture, but those are sharps break so she normally doesn’t need any surgery. She’s in a lot of pain though, so we give her something to help her. She also has a big bruise on the knee, but it will resolve itself. Would you like to see her?”
“If it’s possible, yes” Leah nods.
“Only one person for now.”
Your sister turns to you and you shrug, trying your best to smile at her. You would kill to be able to see Caitlin right now, but she doesn’t know that you are here. And you’re not sure that she wants to see you. Probably not.
“Go. I’ll text or ring her mother.”
Leah nods once again and follow the male nurse to Caitlin’s room. There are strange machines in the room, but Caitlin is up.
“She’s under drugs. She might be a little out of it” the medic whispers to Leah before leaving the room.
The noise of the door makes Caitlin turns her head in Leah’s direction. The blonde gives her a smile and take a chair to sit next to her.
“Oh. Wrong Williamson.”
“What?” Leah laughs softly while sitting up.
Caitlin is speaking like she’s half-asleep but when she looks at Leah, your sister feels like she knows very well what she’s saying. At least that the words are real.
“I would rather see your sister.”
She shrugs and wince, the drugs making her head feels fuzzy.
“Well she’s here, I still can ask her to come if you want” Leah proposes kindly.
“She’s here?”
The surprise on Caitlin’s tone is astonishing to Leah, who frowns a little while looking at her friend. She knows how much time you pass together, well for the brunch or this kind of things. Not really that you passed almost every night together when you are in London. Unless it’s a Monday and you are at Leah’s.
“Yeah?”
Caitlin stays quiet for several seconds, before sighing and looking at the window. The view isn’t amazing to be honest, just the parking lot of the hospital.
“She wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I fucking broke her heart.”
“What are you talking about?” Leah frowns deepens.
She doesn’t mean to take advantage of Caitlin under drugs, but it’s about you and you are the person who is the most important in her life. It’s not a one-side thing, you are Leah’s person as much as she’s yours.
“We had a fight Wednesday because I wanted to tell you about our relationship or at least that she really thinks about telling you. But like usual she had excuses, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love her so much it’s hurt. I just want to be able to hold my girl in public and tell the world how wonderful she is. Who travel the world to bring someone fucking pancake? We were amazing and now we are nothing and a fucking prick just broke my fucking leg and I just want to her to hug me. But she can’t because I fucking wasn’t patient enough with her.“
Leah is stunned. And not only because of Caitlin’s unusual use of swear words. She never though a single second that Caitlin and you were more than just friends. Or that the Australian was the reason of your tears for the last days.
“I know that she loved me, but she loves you even more Leah. She was so scared to lose you. But now I lost her. And I’m really tired.”
“You should sleep a little maybe” Leah mumbles.
Caitlin sighs and close her eyes.
“I’m going to see my sister, will you be ok alone a little bit?”
“Yeah” Caitlin breath before opening her eyes. “Will you tell her? That I love her?”
Leah hesitates some seconds before nodding and smiling softly.
“Yeah. I will.”
She watches the Australian woman closes her eyes and falling asleep as soon as her eyes are closed. Her mind is running, trying to understand what she just learned. She feels like she isn’t really here when she finds you still sitting on the waiting room. You immediately spot her concern look and get up from your chair.
“Is everything ok? I just wrote to Caitlin’s mother that she will be fine?”
“Yeah, she just fell asleep.”
You let a shaky breath pass your lips, really relieved. Your sister still looks pale, but maybe it’s because of those white walls?
“She has a message for you though, that she asked me to tell you.”
“What is it?”
You are curious to know and look at your sister who cross her arms on her chest while looking at you.
“She asks me to tell you that she loves you.”
Well now you might be whiter than Leah. Your big sister watches you become paler than ever, she watches your eyes widen too and how you open your mouth several times to talk without anything coming out.
“What were you thinking Y/N, really?”
You could cry right now. You passed months perfectly hiding your relationship to Leah, giving you probably the onset of an ulcer due to anxiety, and some drugs from a public hospital is going to break all the efforts you made?
“Leah, I’m so sorry” you began, begging while looking at her. “Please, I never wanted to hide something to you, I swear.”
You were panicking. You just lost your girlfriend and now you are about to lose your sister too. The two most important people in your world, sorry to your mom.
“I just don’t understand” Leah says, shaking her head.
You probably are going to have a panic attack.
“I…”
“I don’t understand” Leah cuts you “How you might have thought that I will be mad at you for being with someone who made you happy?”
You don’t understand and you probably don’t look very intelligent with the way you are looking at Leah. She’s still frowning, but you realize that she isn’t mad at you, she just seems lost.
“You said several times that I wasn’t allowed to flirt with one of your teammates, Le” you point, whispering.
“I said flirt because I didn’t want some of hormonal footballer taking advantage of you! Being in love is something else.”
“You are not mad at me?” you ask shyly.
“Of course not, you idiot. I love you more than anything, your happiness is what comes first.”
Leah rolls her eyes and reach out to you. You don’t hesitate to go in her arms, relieved by the unexpected turn of events. The nose in her hair, you whisper :
“I’m sorry for keeping things away from you.”
“It’s ok” Leah says softly, squeezing you a little harder. “I’m sorry you were in so much pain.”
She kisses your cheek and let you go, not without taking you by the shoulders to have a better look at you.
“We are going to make things better between you and Caitlin now, if it’s really what you want. Ok?”
“I’m not sure she’s still interested. She really is mad at me.” you shrug.
“Please. She told me I’m the wrong Williamson, if she doesn’t take you back, I’ll send her back to Sydney.”
********
When Caitlin wakes up almost three hours later, the sun was gone and the room is almost in the dark. There is a small light on the nightstand, and she needs some seconds to remember where she is and why her leg is hurting like hell. She groans and try to roll on her side, her back sore to have been in the same position for hours now. But her leg hurts more, and she opens her eyes, grimacing slightly.
Then she sees you and froze several seconds.
You were already looking at her, like you were doing since you entered the room. She doesn’t seem really peaceful while sleeping and your heart hurt to see her in pain.
“Hi” you whisper, in case her head is hurtful.
“Did I really told your sister than I’m in love with you or was I dreaming?”
You look at her several seconds, trying to see in her eyes if she’s stressed or anxious before answering.
“You ask her to tell me that you love me, but I guess it’s the same thing.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok” you say, coming closer to the bed. “It’s not what bother me now. How are you feeling?”
“Ok, I guess. Thanks god we are at the end of the season. The doctor said I will be ok to play for the Olympics.”
“That’s a good new”
Caitlin hums and you look at your hands, lost in your thoughts. It’s maybe a good think that she hasn’t ask you for now to get out of her room, but you chose not to push your luck too much.
“I uh, I’ll let you in peace now. I wrote to your mother and your sister to reassure them, but Beth came with your phone and other stuff like one hour ago” you explain while getting up. “You can write to them if you want to.”
“Oh… No wait, please. Can you stay? Just a little bit?”
You hesitate for several seconds, looking at Caitlin before answering anything. You want to stay, of course. You finally slowly sit down again on the chair.
“Thanks” she mumbles. “Look, about what I said to Leah…”
“It’s ok” you say again, shrugging. “She isn’t mad.”
“No?”
You shake your head, playing with your nails and fingers without looking at her. Caitlin knows how much Leah means for you so you’re pretty sure that she would have feel guilty if Leah was mad at you.
“Is she not mad because she knows that we are no longer together, or would she have been even if we were still together?”
“I think she would have been ok. If that was the case.”
You hear Caitlin takes a deep and big breath, making you look at her. You can’t read the feeling on her face, so you are happy to see her talking again. You don’t know what behavior you can have with her now, are you still able to ask her all the questions you want?
“I don’t know how to say that” Caitlin sighs. “But is there a chance that we maybe try to make things better between us?”
“Better like in being friends again?”
You see Caitlin rolling her eyes and you understand quickly that you haven’t guess right. You are surprised to see a small smile on her face despite the situation you are in.
“How can you be so clever when it’s about your company and so obvious when it concerns relationships?”
You roll your eyes too, used to being criticized about your lack of ease in human relations when they do not concern your job.
“Yes, because you are the most sociable and none-shy person in the world yourself.”
“Touché.”
There is a silence, during which you are looking at each other.
“Can you forgive me for running away the other day?” Caitlin asks softly.
“Only if you forgive me for believing during all this time that my sister wouldn’t accept our relationship and how I was wrong.”
She smiles again and you smile back at her. You get up when she asks you to sit next to her by patting the bed next to her. That place being the other side of her injured leg, you oblige.
“I don’t know how explain how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have left like this.”
“I get it. It wasn’t a pleasant situation. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or anything.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I am too” you whisper.
After one second of hesitation, you put your head on her shoulder, and you close your eyes when she put her chin on your head.
“So, what now that Leah knows?” Caitlin asks.
To be honest, you don’t really know. Today was a lot of feelings to deal with and you don’t even know where to start. Your girlfriend (?) seems to understand what is happening in your head, because she kisses tenderly your temple before talking.
“What about I get out from here first?”
“That sounds good” you smile softly. “And from here, you come right to mine so I can take care of you.”
“Perfect.”
You watch the Aussie laying down on the bed and you turn on your side to be able to look at her better. With your finger, you are tracing random patterns on her arm. You know that she’s falling asleep but you need to ask the question.
“Cait?”
“Mh?” she answers, without opening her eyes.
“Are we back together? Like, are you my girlfriend again?”
She snorts and snuggle closer from you, already half-asleep.
“Yes we are. Weirdo.”
246 notes · View notes
holylulusworld · 3 days
Text
Their girl
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Summary: Your boss doesn’t even know your name. This doesn’t keep his guests from finding interest in you.
Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Shy!Reader x Mobster!Steve Rogers
Warnings: shy reader, tension, awkwardness, fluff, polyamory, love-struck mobsters
A/N: The sequel no one expected to get.
Catch up here: The nameless girl
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True to their words, Steve and Bucky stood in front of your apartment the next evening.
They prepared everything for your date while you spent the better part of the day looking for a new job.
This couldn’t be real. And you believed they wanted to make fun of you by inviting you for dinner like one of the beautiful girls from the club. 
“Hello doll,” Bucky lazily leaned in your door frame. He offered a bouquet of daisies to you and called you a pretty mouse.
“Sweet mouse,” Steve grinned and offered a single red rose to you, “you look…stunning.” They both looked dashing in their expensive suits, and polished shoes. 
“I-sorry. I’m not ready yet and…” you nervously babbled. Still, in your oversized Peanuts shirt and sweatpants, you looked ridiculous next to them. “I didn’t think you’d show.”
“Why?” Bucky furrowed his brows. He looked a little hurt at your words. “Why’d you think we would not keep our word and come here to court you.”
“I,” you dropped your gaze, afraid you angered the two of them. “Men like you don’t usually pay attention to someone like me. I’m shy, meek, and a grey mouse in contrast to the dancers at the club.”
“Doll,” Bucky pushed the flowers in Steve’s hands so he could cup your face with both hands. “If we say we want to take you out,” he leaned closer to look you deep in the eyes. “We mean what we say. We want to take you out. Not one of the girls at the club nor anyone else.”
You sniffled and murmured an apology. It was strange to you that two men tried to get your attention. Life taught you that most men only like a pretty façade.
Many guys you met didn’t care if a girl was selfish, dumb, or had the worst character as long as they were pretty enough to get their attention. 
“Y/N don’t apologize. I know we can be a bit overwhelming and intense,” Steve smirked when your eyes darted toward him. “Buck, tell her how much we like her.”
“Very much,” Bucky purred your name. He swiped his thumb over your lower lip only to groan deeply when you licked over his thumb and lightly sucked on it. “Fuck, Stevie. We got a dirty little mouse here.”
“Oh?” Steve watched you look at his friend like you were in a trance. “She’s such a cute surprise. Who would've thought we’d find our queen among all those boring girls.”
Bucky pecked your temple, making you sigh at the slightest touch of his lips. “We got lucky,” he said. “She’s one in a million.”
Steve chuckled at his friend’s eagerness. “How about we invite you for dinner at our home, Y/N. You can wear your cute shirt and sweatpants. We can have a sleepover and have dinner at the restaurant tomorrow.”
“We also got a job offer for you, doll,” Bucky whispered against your temple. “We got a free position in our organization.”
“Buck, that was a surprise!” Steve tutted but smirked when your eyes lit up. Losing your job at Clint’s club got you into trouble. Your landlord wants his money on time, not weeks or months later. “What do you say, doll? Do you want to come with us?”
“No.”
“No?” Bucky backpaddled at your answer. He looked you up and down, wondering if he misheard. “Did you say no?”
You took a deep breath and gathered all the courage you could muster and looked Bucky straight in the eyes. 
“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, Mr. Barnes,” you confidentially said, even though, your voice trembled, “but you are still strangers to me. I cannot go with you, to a place I don’t know. I’m shy, not crazy.”
“Aw, she’s even cuter than I thought,” Steve chuckled at your little outburst. “You’re right, Y/N. We will wait outside of your apartment for you to get ready like gentlemen. Please excuse our forwardness.”
“Steve and I will take you out for dinner and drive you back home. We can talk about the job offer on our way to the restaurant. Only if you want to, of course,” Bucky pouted and held out his hand. “Please don’t leave us hanging.”
“I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself and closed the door behind you, exhaling deeply. Your knees shook, but you were also proud of yourself for standing up against Steve and Bucky.
Steve and Bucky looked at each other, smirking for a second before they chuckled. 
“She’s so cute when mad,” Bucky laughed. “God, it makes me wild imagining her squirming underneath me while I take her apart. She will whimper my name and beg me to fill her up and breed her. But not before I ate her sweet cunt.”
Steve laughed. “You’re a horny dog.”
“Says the man running around with a boner since he laid eyes on our sweet mouse,” Bucky bit back. “I hope you know I’ll have her first. She will melt in my arms.”
“I hope you know Y/N is not like the other girls you easily wrapped around your fingers.”
“I know,” the brunette smirked. “That’s what I like about her, Steve. I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that things would be different with Y/N. It’s exciting, isn’t it?”
“Phew, you got it bad for her,” Steve whistled.
“You are no better,” Bucky snickered. “I know you want to make her ours. Do not deny it. You’re in too deep yourself.”
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Both men waited patiently for you to join them outside of your apartment. They offered their arm to you, acting like gentlemen while guiding you toward their car.
The ride toward the restaurant was both, exciting and a little scary. You got into a car with two strangers promising to make you their queen.
Steve held the door to the restaurant open for you while Bucky guided you inside.
“You’ll love the restaurant,” Bucky said as he pulled the chair for you. “Did I already tell you that you look beautiful tonight, doll?”
“Thank you,” you stammered. You didn’t know if he meant what he said. Your sky-blue mini-dress was far from elegant. While all the other women at the restaurant looked like they came straight out of a fashion magazine, you felt underdressed. “It’s new…”
“I like that color on you,” Steve cupped your chin with one hand to tilt your head. “It’s cute and sweet.” You gasped feeling his lips press against the corner of your mouth. “Just like you.”
Bucky’s features darkened when you leaned into his friend’s touch.
“Shall we eat, doll?” He pulled a chair for you, making your heart flutter. “Steve was right, Y/N. You look beautiful in your dress. Did you buy it only for us?”
You giggled and dropped your gaze. “No,” you lied. “I bought it some weeks ago.”
“Aw, our doll believes she can lie to us, Buck,” Steve flashed you a stunning smile. “We know that you wanted to look pretty for us, Y/N. It’s not a bad thing you want to impress us. We did the same. Bucky spent two hours in his closet to find the perfect suit only to drive to town and buy a new one.”
“Steve did the same,” Bucky grabbed a chair and moved it closer to your seat. “He just likes to make everyone believe he looks good in everything without effort, including a potato sack.”
Steve grinned and ran one hand down his chest. “I’d rock that potato sack, Barnes. You know that.”
“I bet you would,” you murmured while eyeing Steve. He looked damn good in his suit and knew it. Men like him and Bucky always know how handsome they are. “You’re both very handsome.”
“Baby, you don’t have to stroke Steve’s ego,” Bucky moved his hand to your thigh to tickle your skin. “It’s already over the top. How about you stroke mine.”
“I think yours is over the top too,” you replied and gave him a tiny smirk before clearing your throat. “So…can we talk about the job now? You got me fired last night.”
“Straight to the point. I like it,” Steve grabbed the remaining chair and moved closer to yours too. He sat down only to place his hand on your other thigh. “We need someone to take care of our paperwork for our more legal business.”
“We need someone we can trust. Steve and I are rather bored when doing office work. You on the other hand have a lot of experience,” Bucky toyed with the hem of your dress while telling you more about the position you always dreamed of.
“How do you know about my work experience?”
“Baby doll, we are enchanted by you. This doesn’t mean we let a wolf in sheep’s clothing inside the inner circle of our business.” Steve pressed a soft kiss to your neck, making you sigh. “If you want the job, it’s yours.”
Bucky mirrored his partner. He pressed a soft kiss to your neck, lips nipping at the soft skin. “Oh, and the best is. You can bang your bosses…”
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astrobydalia · 17 hours
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Aquamarine. Gold. Lavender.Colors of summer... Astro Observations
work by astrobydalia
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Your 9th house rules your gandchildren! 9th house is 5th from 5th so your kids' kids.
Also, if you are any of your parent's first kid look at their 11th house to get a glimpse at how they will perceive your fs. (11th house is 7th from 5th, so your first kid's spouse)
^^these are derivative astrology methods so you gotta use whole sign system
The scorpion actually represents the underdeveloped/young version of Scorpio while the developed version of Scorpio is represented by the eagle which to me is analogous to the phoenix. That's why you see an eagle representing Scorpio in the The World card (cause this card signifies fulfillment or completion in tarot)
I think the song 'Part of Me' by Katy Perry really illustrates developed Scorpio energy. Is not resentful or vengeful but rather transformative and empowering, you can't end their spirit just like you can't end a phoenix. Underdeveloped Scorpio energy allows pain, trauma and resentment to ultimately k!ll their soul which turns into self-destruction, think how scorpion's stinger actually points at them (and fun fact: scorpions can actually k!ll themselves when they feel cornered)
Being "different" or an "outcast" is not an Aquarius trait, it's a Leo trait. Leo is all about being yourself, being unique, the one and only and main character energy. Aquarius rules inclusivity, equality, social cohesion, FRIENDSHIP (aka people who get you) and public validation, that's why it is a strong fame indicator. Aquarius energy is relatable to others, its new and fresh, Leo it not relatable because it is unique, it shines among the crowd and burns just like the Sun. Aquarius can be unique too but the main difference is Leos feel ultimately they only have themselves while Aquarius will always have people.
Leos are meant to experience feeling "different" or outcasted because they need to learn to accept and express themselves no matter what, that's why it rules bravery and courage. They often either feel alone in their "greatness" or feel like nobody accepts their real self. Either way its more common for them than for Aquarius to experience loneliness and rejection just like the sun can't never have anything come too close to it
Aquarius does not rule uniqueness per se it rules innovation, authenticity and detachment from the ego. Aquarians that try hard to be different and separated from "most" people are underdeveloped because they're still attached to their ego and this is the n1 thing that kills their innovative potential. Aquarius doesn't do things to validate the self like Leo, it generates ideas on how humanity can better express itself and develop, that's why it rules over technology, science and activism and that's why they're known to be trend setters. Air signs are all about finding common ground, aquarians are not meant to be different from communities or groups but rather find new and authentic new ways to represent them (hence the inclusivity).
All the Gemini Venus I've met were very loyal in their relationships idk what you guys are talking about. They are the golden retriever person that is head over heals obsessed with their partner. It's not easy to get them to commit cus they need someone who has that perfect blend between goofy and mysterious, too much of either bores them quickly. They love in a playful and child-like way so I see how they can be flighty and non-commital sometimes but if they're genuinely intrigued by you oh boy they'll be ALL over you in every way pretty consistently
Harsh aspects (esp square) between Mercury-Mercury in synastry are a no-go when it comes to compatibility. The two people can get along well and like each other if the rest of the synastry supports it but they likely have NOTHING in common. Efforts to try and find shared interests or ideas might be misunderstood or feel forced because there's none 😭. Even if you do have shared ideas or interests, you will have vastly different ways of looking at them because the way in which you both think/communicate always clash so you never really see eye to eye. You can get away with having unharmonious connections between venus or mars in synastry but mercury? Nah.
When it comes to predictions specially, you need to have AT LEAST three indicators for an energy to stick. For example, having just one planet at 29º doesn't mean you're gonna be famous, you need to have at least three fame indicators to even consider fame in chart. Also, I can't stress this enough, you REALLY shouldn't need to dig too hard to find the indicators, they're usually evident and fit into the context of the chart, meaning there are no other things contradicting or neutralizing said energy.
Even though we often look at 7th house for marriage, you are most likely to consider marrying and settling down with people who have their placements in your 4th house and/or 10th house, or you just see them as marriage potential in general. 4th house creates a sense of home, security and familiarity while 10th house synastry points to shared goals, seeing a future together, etc. That's how you'll feel tho, to see if that would happen you gotta check composite chart
If you have fire in your big 3 I just know you love being unhinged and a little wild once you get comfortable
Natives with Venus-Chiron aspects tend to have... questionable taste in lovers or get in relationships that are not so promising (forbidden love, etc). Their love life is always a struggle, they feel like they can't find someone that truly loves them and when they do it's always "complicated". With hard aspects they tend to date people who blatantly suck (abusers, psychos, players, etc). With easy aspects this can happen too but I've noticed they are more prone to attracting people who are alright however deep down are very troubled and/or unavailable individuals so the native tends to be the one to heal or sooth their lover.
Scorpio Mars can have sadistic tendencies... It obviously does NOT have to go that far for everyone, in fact most of them are pretty tame but this placement really gets off on the reactions of others I've noticed. Their n1 superpower is catching you off guard and poking at you psychologically. They know exactly what strings to pull and are very aware of how anything they do or say can trigger and affect others. This can manifest as smart and punchy humor, teasing... or really toxic behaviors. Oh and you do NOT wanna see them genuinely angry 😶 If you have this placement im gonna kindly ask you to please use your powers for good 😭💀
Females with Libra placements could have experienced being 'the other woman' I've seen this a lotttt. Either that or they constantly attract situatioships. They have a tendency to not be taken seriously by the opposite sex, only being seen as a trophy or a pretty face kinda vibe. Unless they also have Cancer energy
Which is interesting to see cause even though Libra rules marriage, the kind of women who are mostly perceived as marriage material by men are Cancer placements not Libra. If you think about it, it makes sense tho cause cancer rules family and motherhood
Water venus people have a very approachable and understanding aura. Very diplomatic and tactful, they'll effortlessly make you feel comfortable around them. Equally accepting of others both in public and in privet, but you'll automatically lose them if you make them feel invaded
Fire venus motto is "it's impossible to impress me.... but let's see you try😏". They purposefully market themselves as hard to get cause they want to see what you got. Will constantly crave interactions with some fun and friction
Earth venus are a lot more harsh, they haven't even talked to you yet but somehow have already decided you didn't make the cut 🥱 Silent observers, they'll have a mental spread sheet of what they like and don't like about you
With air venus you don't want to come off too strong otherwise you'll activate their fight or flight response 🏃‍♀️ You'll never know where you stand with them but if you wanna get closer you need to keep it playful and give them space
Virgo Sun/Mars/ASC like to help others but they do it in such way that is also indirectly self-serving to themselves. Virgos are sidereal Leos, they secretly want recognition for their modesty and want their actions and efforts to ultimately shine back on them
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Underdeveloped Pisces Moons are selfish and out of touch. I’ve noticed this placement is painted in a way too innocent light but they can have a nasty shadow too. They will not accept anything that does not conform to their delusional expectations about life and when things don't go their way they’ll isolate in melancholy and victimize themselves using the ‘misunderstood’ card. They can have a really twisted perception of reality, confusing the lines between right and wrong to accommodate their own narrative. Think Thanos from MCU, that character is a perfect example of underdeveloped Pisces Moon fr!! They tend to be very aloof and weaponize their empathy to appear innocent . Can use the “I can understand the world but the world doesn’t understand me” mentality to justify everything they do without ever feeling bad about it.
Another Return that brings a lot of karmic lessons aside from Saturn Return is your North Node return which happens every 18 years (Ages 18, 36, 54, etc)
Gemini risings have a fabricated or fragmented personality. They're often attracted to things like astrology, personality stuff, psychology, etc because it helps them make sense of themselves through abstract concepts. They also tent to define themselves through imitation or comparison like "I do that too", etc. It's very easy for them to convince themselves they're something they're not (gemini rules lies and deception), that's why they're often good actors (Pisces 10th house). They come across as very air-headed cause who they present themselves to be is based on who they THINK and SAY they are vs. how that translates in reality
Based on my life experience and also the responses in astro/observation posts, I've observed Scorpio placements respond relatively well to criticism. Not saying they don't care, but they can handle being villainized quite well because when developed they can have a really healthy acceptance of their shadow side and toxic traits. They also don't mind being misunderstood cause that means people can't pry on their business
CANCER, Libra, Leo and Virgo placements on the other hand are the most sensitive to criticism.... They can't handle not being seen as "the good one" all the time
Most Pisces suns I've met gave off huge xNTJ vibes for some reason like very deep thinkers, silent, sarcastic with a low-key threatening and unapproachable aura. Also VERY elusive and protective their personal stuff, they embodied the "mysterious" Scorpio stereotype fr.
However Pisces sun+pisces venus combo gives much softer vibe, more quiet and doormat-like, you'd think they're high 24/7.
The other bunch of Pisces suns Ive met had a very bubbly and dramatic personality. Can be emotional in a really performative way
Libra Mars people are SMOOOOOTH. Not only with their words but also their mannerisms, how they move and do things in general. You'll never see them triggered or stressed, they make everything look so effortless
The Pluto in Scorpio generation (millennials mostly) were the ones who started this mental health awareness wave. All this concern with anxiety, depression, mental and personality disorders was started by them. They’re the ones who started putting focus on the deeper effects of the dark psychology (Scorpio).
All the people that have scared me and traumatized me deeply for life had planets in my 12th house with no 8th house synastry in sight whatsoever…
>>> In my experience 8th house synastry is only intense in the moment but eventually you get over it fast once you stop entertaining the person/situation. It might be hard to let it go tho cause the connection is intense and this person will leave a lasting impression, but once it’s done that person is forever dead to you. 12th house synastry on the other hand is giving "I fight with you in my sleep", 12th house feels harmless at first but it deals with themes of sorrow and shame. It lingers and haunts you fr. Let’s remember that Saturn, the planet of permanece and lessons, finds its joy in the 12th house…
8th house venus/juno is NOT a sugar baby indicator imo. As per my observation, it is actually the 8th house native that ends up making a lot of money and their spouse/partner benefits from the native's income and success. I swear every person I've seen with these placements had "we could hang out in my yacht if you want😉" as their main flirting technique LMAO. Their own power (8th house) is their main source of seduction and attraction (Venus/Juno)
I believe 2nd house Venus/Juno is more indicative of sugar baby energy. They want that spoiled good life with little effort even if that means being financially dependent on someone else or using family's money
In contrast I've noticed 8th house placements are not really like that, they have a HEAVY entrepreneurial spirit. Super ambitious individuals
With that being said, be careful if your have natal 8th house placements (specially Venus, Moon, Juno, 7th house ruler), cause the people you bond with WILL benefit from YOUR income and success. That's why these natives are prone to experiencing betrayal, cause if you surround yourself with the wrong people they'll take what they want from you or cause chaos in your life and then leave, so use your intuition!!
With 2nd house energy you are good at keeping your resources and income safe, but this means they can lose value if you don't use or invest them eventually just like food goes bad if it just sits in the fridge. With 8th house energy you are prone to loss, debt, loans and other financial risks where you either lose it all or gain lots and lots of money, the all or nothing nature of plutonic energy.
I bet any virgo placement can relate to being a little bit of mess but something I’ve seen in particular with Virgo risings is they are surprisingly sloppy?? You really wouldn't in a million years think so given how they always end up presenting good results but once you know them deeply you notice they often miss out on important details in the process or get so caught up with short-term things that they miss the big picture. Either way, they often look like they got it all together but they constantly improvise a lot more that what it looks like in the surface
Aquarius Mars is a placement I've seen A LOT in celebrities, specially well-liked ones. They attract people to them just by existing, they don't even have to try too hard
I’ve noticed a lot of critically acclaimed actors have air moons
Sagittarius Part of Fortune have a vibrant and fun spirit, you can’t never kill their vibes but they can tend to be immature. It’s like they’re completely oblivious to anything serious 
Libras are people pleasers due to a hidden inferiority complex (sidereal virgo)
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work by astrobydalia
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junislqve · 22 hours
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ᯓ 50 first dates — heeseung
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“cursed with the gift of memories”
syn well-known for his charm and charisma, lee heeseung’s name travels through well with tourists. giving them the best dates and nights of their life. heeseung’s strictly only into one nights stands, running away from commitment even before it was there to chase him. however, his life changed completely when his eyes fell upon a woman. a woman who he knows he could never get. but that has never stopped him, hasn’t it?
feat. hyung line yeji (itzy) hyunjin (skz) | wc 5901 words
pairs fuckboy!heeseung + reader | cw s2l one sided pining? fuckboy turned sweet angst fluff smoking drinking mentions of hook ups mentions of an accident memory loss profanity — mlist navi
note entry for @cupidhoons ’s 1k event >< i tweaked a few things here and there, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless
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“he’s incredible” she says, grabbing her mojito from the bartender. looking back to her friend, “he’s got these eyes that just hold a mischievous look, you know?”
“so? what else happened that night?” another guy asked his friend as she was running on the treadmill.
“we had dinner at this small restaurant and we talked about our lives. it was just like a movie” a woman said as she recalled the night, chatting off while writing her thesis.
“was that all?” a girl’s sister asks while both of them were getting ready for a party.
“we had the best night, he’s so sweet and caring and everything i ever want in a man” a woman said to the worker who was massaging her.
“did you get his number?” her friend asked while handing her a cup of coffee.
“thats the thing” she said, eating lunch at a restaurant. “when i asked for his number he told me he had a girlfriend”
“what’s his name?” her manager asks handing her the new papers.
“lee heeseung”
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all over, dozens of women have the same story to tell of the same man. lee heeseung. his charm goes around that has tons of tourists falling head over heels for him.
although really, the charm only consists of the same things with each women; talking to them at whatever place he lands in, telling them about his life stories he’s crafted perfectly, and in the end giving them a good night.
he really had no problem with this routine, figuring they’d all leave soon anyway. dismissing any of their attempts to stay in contact with him by making up on the spot excuses.
“seung” jake exasperates, calling him for the nth time. “you in or not?”
puffing out the smoke, he hummed agreeing to whatever they were talking about.
“we’re diving tomorrow, be at the docks at 5 AM” jay says, grabbing the cigarette pack and throwing it on to the table. “sharp.”
“can’t, i have to take care of the dolphins” heeseung sighs.
“can’t you tell your cousin to do it?” sunghoon asks, taking a swig of the whiskey.
“haven’t you seen him?” he says, referring to his coward of a cousin. as the four continue to talk around the slowly dissipating fire.
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heeseung woke up the next day tending to his dolphins. feeding them food and watching them as they swim and did tricks. he sat on the docks, letting his feet hang over the edge, patting the dolphins every once in a while if they snuggled his legs.
he got up about half an hour later and headed to one of the local diners in town. a small, dingy house close to where he works. he sat on the bar stool and a girl who looked around his age took the order.
“i’ll just have coffee, thanks”
“seriously? you look like you’d get blown off by the wind” the girl says, “i’ll fix you up a sandwich”
heeseung smiled profusely, confused whether he should be offended or grateful. he skims through the men looking over the unique variety of choices, when the reflection of the sun seems to be hitting him. he looked up to the direction with squinted eyes and he was so glad the sun shined perfectly at him.
to say he was captivated was an understatement. your hair sat down perfectly on your back as you smiled at the menu like it was an interesting book. you set down the spoon you were playing with and the barista walked up to you to take your order.
heeseung’s eyes never left you, entirely too enthralled just by your presence. he decides to make a move, getting up from his spot and sitting across from your seat that’s conveniently vacant. he watched as the barista placed your plate of pancakes in front of you.
“thanks, yeji” you smiled up at her. he can’t tell which was more angelic; your voice or your smile.
you picked up your pancakes and started stacking them, heeseung watched with curiosity. you started off making a mini volcano as the steam from the heat drove up. minutes later, when heeseung’s eyes left you for a while, your volcano had transformed to a house. you continued stacking the bread carefully.
picking up a small piece, you intended for it to be the door to the supposed house. when suddenly, a toothpick drove through them from the top.
“it creates a hinge” someone says. you look up, which appeared to be a wrong move because the man that stood in front of you might’ve just been carved by the gods.
his hair roused messily atop his head and a grin that you swore had your heart clenched. you momentarily freeze up, scanning over your words for a decent reply.
“oh, thanks” you trail off, showing a small smile.
heeseung was about to sit back down at his spot until you braved yourself.
“hey” you pause awkwardly as he turns back to you “i see you’re alone as well, why don’t you sit with me”
heeseung’s grin doubled and he sat down across from you. from then on, heeseung didn’t know what he got himself into all he knows is that your voice was addicting and your smile held the world.
you both had a long conversation about your lives. he told you about his work in wildlife as a marine veterinarian, tending to the dolphins mostly. and you told him about your work as an art teacher in a school nearby.
you listened intently, thoroughly interested in his job, “my dad works as a fisherman”
“oh really? so you know how to fish” heeseung perked up.
“no, i’ve never really been interested in it” you replied, “but i’m used to the smell of the sea, you reek of it”
heeseung scoffed playfully, “i know, i just went back from feeding the dolphins. probably should have cleaned myself up before”
“no!” you exclaimed trying to fix your tone, “i didn’t mean it in a bad way. you smell nice, like the scent of the sea, it’s kind of nostalgic”
“really?” heeseung looks at you, eyes widened in that adorable way. god, he looks so good. you nodded with a smile that stretched perfectly on your lips. “you should come and meet the dolphins some time”
your eyes lit up, “oh i would love to, how many do you tend to?”
before heeseung could answer, yeji stopped him by telling you both off as they’d have to pack up for lunch.
you both walked out of the diner leisurely when heeseung turned to you, “hey, do you want to continue this somewhere else? i have a nice place we can go to”
“oh” you let out, whilst scrunching your face “i'm so sorry but today’s my dad’s birthday and we usually drive out to the field. it’s our tradition”
“well then how about next time?” he asked, tilting his head.
“how about tomorrow? meet me here for breakfast?” you offered.
“tomorrow then”
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rain poured teardrops in a continuous rythmn, the wind blowing harshly. a figure disrupted the pattern as heeseung went in the diner and dropped himself on the bar stool, greeting yeji. and waving at the guy in the back, who’s face always looked sour whenever he looked at heeseung.
“the bar’s closed” hyunjin, who he now knows as yeji’s brother said blatantly. heeseung shrugged at the customer that was sitting on one of the sofas and shined a sly grin at him, receiving an eye roll back.
the door opened once more and you walked in, heeseung watched as you sat down and dropped your jacket beside you.
he stood up and walked to your seat, “hey pretty, missed me yet?”
you looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, “no?” you said, before going back to read the menu.
heeseung stared at you dumbfounded, “hey, are you okay? you said you wanted to meet up again yesterday”
“yesterday? i’ve never even met you” you scrunched your nose as heeseung stood still in confusion, his mind reeling.
in a spur, heeseung got dragged by his collar and out of the diner. the door behind him slammed shut, he turned to see yeji stared at him menacingly.
“what’s wrong? why’s she..” he trailed off.
yeji clicked her tongue, sighing, “she isn’t what you think she is” heeseung waited, breathing heavily, the humid air made it difficult to breathe.
“about a year ago, y/n got into a terrible car accident. she and her father went up North Shore to grab fruits as tradition” yeji continued, “her father broke some ribs, but she had a serious head injury”
yeji looked away and stared off into the rain “she’s suffering short-term memory loss” yeji concluded. heeseung apparently had a hard time understanding all of this, none of the information thrown at him clicking right yet.
“wait, so she can’t remember anything?”
“no you dumbass, she remembers everything up until the night before the accident”
both of them stayed silent.
“so what? she thinks everyday is the day of her dad’s birthday?”
“exactly” yeji states, “she wakes up everyday thinking it’s the same day, her father’s provided her with a special paper that he’s printed over a hundred times for her to read”
“he’s been keeping her in the dark?”
“it’s not like that. she’s been through a lot already and her father doesn’t want her to suffer anymore” yeji scolds. “so if you don’t mind, i need you to stop bothering her. find another person to bother”
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“how long’s it gonna take for her to gain back her memory?” jake asks, laying on his back staring up at the night sky.
“her doctors say it may never come back” heeseung says, throwing in food for the dolphins.
“so, basically” jake starts looking down at his friend, “she’s perfect for you”
“what?”
“you’ve never been into commitment” jake shrugs, “there’s practically no attachment there”
heeseung stays silent. jake raised his eyebrows, “don’t tell me you’re falling for her”
he slapped his friend’s leg, “i’m not” he says, “it’s just evil”
“you meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt”
“she has brain damage, you douche”
“you sure that’s the only reason?”
once again, heeseung stays silent. he can’t lie. he knows that he felt, if anything, the tiniest bit of care for you. spending too much time awake thinking about you more than he should’ve.
“i mean, either way, i think this’ll be good for you” jake starts, his eyes scanned the stars one by one, “you haven’t really let yourself connect with a girl”
“oh so now you care?” heeseung asks, rather jokingly.
“i want the best for you, seung. you’re leaving soon for university, the choice is really yours in the end” jake says, finally sitting up and looking at his friend with sincerity.
“thanks” hee mumbled as jake stood up to get off the ship, patting him on the back while doing so.
“you should get some sleep, you’d need energy to get her back”
heeseung stared at the back of jake’s retreating figure. they’ve been friends for years now, being the closest out of the four. always being a helping hand for the other whenever any of them were in need.
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“you again?” hyunjin rolled his eyes about to grab a stick.
“relax, i just want to say hi to her” heeseung says, holding a hand out in defence.
“what did yeji say?”
“that you’d kill me with an axe” heeseung trailed off. “but, hey, look i really just want to talk to her again”
“she doesn’t want guys hitting on her during breakfast” hyunjin said, plainly.
“want to bet on that? 20 bucks” apparently the world was on his favor when hyunjin decides to shake his hand.
“deal”
heeseung spots you on your usual seat, building a house out of your pancakes. he decides its better to play safe, picking up a toothpick, walking to your seat.
“it acts as a hinge” he says, smiling.
“are you from a country where you think it’s okay to stick your fingers all over someone’s food?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“uhm, no, i’m from this country” he starts and after seeing your expression, all of the lines he’d planned out got caught on his tongue, “well, have a good meal”
hyunjin cackled at his attempts and heeseung doubled the price for the next day, determined to get you to have breakfast with him again. that’s how it went on for days, heeseung kept doubling the price at his failed attempts. yeji not really helping as she scowled at him everyday while hyunjin doubled over in laughter.
one of those days, heeseung realizes he really has nothing else to loose, except for his dignity. so that is exactly what he did. heeseung started sobbing in the middle of the diner, weird looks thrown at him.
when you suddenly sat beside him and spoke in the softest voice, he almost melted right then and there. but he pushed through with the acting, still sobbing nonetheless of you trying to calm him down. finally, he got succeeded in getting you to have breakfast with him once again. under the excuse that he couldn’t read.
you both talked all throughout the day, teaching him how to pronounce certain words, reading off the menu and enunciating each syllable. he found it quite endearing that you were so patient given the ridiculous situation.
“i had a great time” you said as you both walked out of the diner.
“yeah, so did i” heeseung smiles. he was about to say something else, but stopped. figuring it was better to go one step at a time, he turned to go get in his car when you scoffed.
“seriously? thats all? you know i thought that if someone would embarrass themselves just to talk to me they would at least ask for my number” you say, turning on the engine and start to pull out of the park.
heeseung, panicked, quickly got in his car to drive after you and apologise. afraid that he would cause problems. and that is how he led himself to this moment; getting told off by your father and almost getting beaten up by your brother.
your father had told him to lose contact with you. that he was to not go to the diner anymore and leave you alone.
now if there’s anything to know about heeseung, it’s that he takes an advice and let it go out the other ear — with the exception of his own grandma, he’s terrified of her — and second, he will never give up on anything. so, he left no time for sulking as the next day he had a brand new conception.
he knew there was no way he could ever talk to you in the diner under the watchful eyes of both yeji and hyunjin. so, learning your daily schedule, heeseung decides to stop at a part of your drive and pretended as if his truck broke down.
“hey, i’m so sorry. can you give me a lift?” heeseung awkwardly smiled as you slowly stopped right in front of his car. a concerned look on your face.
“yeah, of course” you say, getting out of your car to help attach his to yours.
with that, he’s made up a variety of reasons to stop you on your way. most days interacting with you than not. he was so determined to talk to you, his excuses ranged from being kidnapped to getting beaten by who you assumed was a random man.
the plans were carefully thought of, daily. he spent much time creating up random scenarios that were severe enough for you to spare him some time and talk to him.
he really should’ve seen it coming. because one day, your car wasn’t the one approaching, rather, another car. as it came closer he realized your father and brother were sat on the front seats and he sat up from the position he took on the ground.
“once you stop pretending to look dead, come by the house”
now he’s once again stood in the lawns of your house. he expected your dad to tell him to stop meeting you or restrict him further, but all he did was just talk to him.
your dad hesitantly told him how happy you were going about your day and how it only ever happens whenever you had an interaction with him.
“i can stop you from seeing my daughter” your father pauses, “but i can’t stop her from seeing you if that’s what makes her happy”
the weight of his words flowed through the air as your voice tunes in from the garage. painting away your garage whilst singing a song you know so well.
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“let me get this straight” jake says, “you’ve been trying to talk to her everyday, making up dozens of excuses, doing random things just so she would talk to you?”
“well if you word it like that, it sounds sad”
“so you’re basically trying to get her to fall in love with you, every single day”
“not always” heeseung trails off, “it’s complicated”
“sure” jake says, taking out his pack of cigarettes. “want one?”
heeseung shook his head, back in thought.
“you haven’t been smoking lately” jake ponders. “is it because of that girl?”
jake said it as a joke, fully expecting his friend to slap him or dismiss it all. but he was proved wrong when heeseung stared right at him and nodded.
“she’s been through enough, i don’t want her to have lung problems just because i can’t leave her alone”
jake whistled low at the statement.
“besides, it’s bad for your lungs, you should stop too”
“i don’t smoke as much as you did” jake retorts, putting back the blunt in the pack. figuring it was boring to smoke alone.
“i never expected you’d do things like this”
“you think i’m heartless”
“not when you used to shit your pants from a ghost story” jake laughs and so did heeseung, hitting his friend on the back. jake looked to his friend, curious.
“do you like her?”
“what do you think?”
“personally?” jake stops, “i think you’re in love with her”
a part of him wanted to deny that, he used to be afraid of commitment after all. but now the prospect of not having any commitment with you kind of scares him. he can’t have commitment with you, literally and figuratively. how could he when you can’t remember who he is everytime you wake up.
like jake said; no strings attached. except, this time he was the at the receiving end and he couldn’t do anything about it.
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attempting for the last time to talk to you at the diner, heeseung knew he would fail. he thought he’d done terribly at flirting with you when you screamed a loud ‘no’.
but when you quickly grabbed your jacket and walked out, he followed suit. yeji and hyunjin alarmed as well, walking out of the diner.
the police was about to place a ticket on your car, it was overdue.
“the tags don’t expire until next year”
“it expires May of this year, maam” the police officer said.
“no! it expires may of next-“ you stop after looking at the date of a newspaper that someone was holding.
in a rush, you look around for your car and got in. driving back home confused and aggravated, you have no idea what’s happening.
in the end, you’ve spiraled into this deep hole of reality after your father, quite hesitantly, revealed everything. he told you the whole story; the car accident, what your dad has done, and — to heeseung’s surprise — what heeseung has been doing for the past few months.
sitting on the front steps of your house, flipping through the book filled with newspapers and clippings from your accident, everyone waited around you. your father ready with answers if you if you had any questions or needed any support.
what no one expected was for you to say you wanted to talk to heeseung, alone. heeseung himself was quite shocked, and scared to be faie. he thought out of anyone, you wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore. rather hesitant, your father and brother walked in the house to give you space.
the silence was unbearable, for heeseung anyway. you stared front out to the grassy field. it was a beautiful afternoon if not for the situation you were in right now.
“so, um” heeseung cleared his throat rather awkwardly.
“i’m sorry”
he waits for you to continue, but alas you never did. heeseung looks at you, his brows furrowed.
“what for?”
“you’re the only person i can never remember when i wake up” you say, stretching out your legs and observing them instead.
heeseung looked at you — or rather admired you. he can’t believe even in a situation as this, he still find it in himself to fawn over you. you looked so ethereal under the small rays of the sun.
“it’s alright” hee said, slowly smiling as he looked away from you and off to the wide land. “not like you can help it”
“how are you fine with all this?” this time, you were the one facing him, gosh how could he still keep on that god awful, handsome smile on when he’s practically been rejected multiple times?
“just because” he replies, his smile widening. heeseung feels as if he’s gone mad, absolutely batshit insane. he can’t tell why he’s smiling so brightly right now, maybe it’s because of the fact that he’s having a conversation with you again, or maybe it’s because of how cute you sounded like when you’re concerned for him.
“you’re okay with” you pause, carefully choosing the right words “trying to make me fall in love with you every single day?” you say this slowly, enunciating each syllable hoping you’d say it in a way that didn’t seem weird or self-centered.
“what if i say i am?” you were caught off guard when heeseung’s face turned to you. you hadn’t really noticed your proximity until now. his nose was barely grazing yours and you could see his eyes up close, has it always been that pretty?
you gulp. because how can you not? lee heeseung is inches away from your face and he has the most adorable expression anyone could’ve ever seen. an expression no one’s ever seen except for you. his pupils dilated, hair messy from the wind, cheeks a rosy color and a small grin to top it all off.
“why?”
“want me to show you why?” he says. your heart pounded too loud and out of the sheer fear of him being able to hear it, you looked away. heeseung chuckled and blinked, his eyes wandering back to the field.
“i have to get back” heeseung says standing up, “tell me if you ever need anything” you finally dared yourself to look up at him. it didn’t matter anyway as heeseung walked off and got into his car. flashing that smile of his once more before pulling out of the driveway.
you went in your house after watching his car get further and further, lost in your own thought. when you walk up to your room, a small box covered with wrapping paper is placed on top of your bed.
opening it carefully, you opened the box to see a disc titled “to y/n”. out of curiosity, you ran down to the living room’s television and insert it into the dvd player.
sitting down on the sofa, you waited as the video started to play. the tunes of your favorite song hummed in as heeseung came into view.
“hi, heeseung here” he starts saying, the camera pans to two people in the background that was making heart poses and kissy faces. “yo guys stop”
the guys in the back laughed silently and the camera focused back on heeseung, his smile back on display.
“if you’re watching this, y/n. i want to tell you a bit of a background story first” heeseung stops, and grabs something from below “you got into a car accident about a year ago”
the camera focused on the newspaper clipping of her accident, “and now you can’t remember me, even if i try to talk to you everyday”
the person behind the camera snorted and heeseung threw a dirty look to whoever.
“but it’s okay, because now i’ll show you what’s been happening so you can watch this everyday” hee stands up from the sofa and sits down on his living room chair. the camera zooms out and across him sat one of his friends, you assumed. “this is sunghoon, he’s going to act as you”
the guy named sunghoon waved at the camera, smiling politely. the recording continued on for minutes as heeseung acts out the encounters he’s had with you. sunghoon and his other friend, jay, making faces every once in a while to piss off their friend. your laughs and giggles reverberated through the house walls that has your dad coming in to check on you.
as he watches you from the doorway, listening to your laughs and seeing your big smile, he can’t help but have one of his own. ever since the accident, he really has felt emptiness all over. guilt and so much more emotions plaguing him by day. all he wants is just to watch you be happy all the time and if that’s what heeseung makes you, he couldn’t stop you.
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the past few months after that were filled with heeseung getting closer and closer to you as more recordings of you and him were added to the tape.
heeseung told you everything about his life, what and why he works as what he does and how he ended up in hawaii.
in turn, you told him more about the years you’ve had without him and telling him about your late mom. you told him about how she still brings you comfort until today from picking up all the tiny quirks she used to do.
eventually, heeseung grew on you. watching the tape daily and seeing how well he treats you, you really can’t help but fall more and more in love with him.
“no, i love tulips, but i love dandelions as well” you say at the pouting guy in front of you. “these are beautiful, hee”
“you know if you want me to get you another one, i can do it right now” he says, ready to make a run for the shop if you say the word.
“i told you” you took another whiff of the dandelions in exaggeration, “i love dandelions, they’re really pretty”
“okay” he sighs, and the moment you yawn for the nth time of the day, heeseung had you nursed back to bed.
“i’m fine”
“yeah, sure” he says, dismissing your words and grabbing a blanket to cover you. “get some rest, i’ll wake you up this time. i swear”
you squint your eyes at him in warning, “i will!” he says in faux sincerity, letting out a small laugh.
“fine”
heeseung gets up and walks out the door the moment you stopped mumbling. he went down to be greeted by your doctor along with your father and brother in the living room.
they all talked about your health and well-being. and if there was any way your memory would ever be healed — mostly heeseung asked about this. and as much as he hoped, there was close to no chance you would. your head injury was so severe it permanently damaged those parts of your brain.
“are you planning to continue all of this?” your father suddenly asked him, “you have no plans for the future?”
“i’m going to university soon, abroad” heeseung starts. “to continue work as a biologist in alaska”
“ah, well, it’s great you have plans” the doctor replies, patting his back, “i thought you were going to devote your whole life to helping her regain her memories”
heeseung wasn’t the only one silent at this. you were too, although a room away. you couldn’t sleep for long and was about to walk outside when you overheard their conversation about you and didn’t want to make it awkward.
but now, you just realized how dumb you were. you realized how you were basically holding him back from everything. you were being selfish of his time. you blindly liked all of the time he’s spent with you, but you didn’t realize that he too should have a life outside of you.
walking back into your room, you pull out your journal that held all the memories you’ve had with him. you’ve written all of it down. most pages dedicated to him.
“hey” you say walking up to him the next day, as he was feeding the dolphins. journal clutched tightly in one hand.
“hi” heeseung said, pure affection on his voice. you sat down beside him on the docks as he went back to throwing in the food. “i just realized i haven’t introduced you to them. this one’s named lorry”
heeseung says patting the head of the closest dolphin. you closed off your heart, preparing yourself for the worse today. set on one goal. but how can he just sit there and look adorable and somehow all the things you planned to say are down the drains.
“don’t worry, lorry’s one of the nicest ones. compared to the others” heeseung assures, you slowly inched your hands forward to pat the dolphin and it felt soft. lorry snuggled its snout to your palm and dived in the water again to play with its friends.
“heeseung” you say, staring out at the sea, avoiding his eyes at all costs. he hummed, closing up the bag of food before looking at you.
“we should stop seeing each other”
heeseung blinked. once. twice. thrice. he thought people were exaggerating when they said ‘their heart dropped’, but now he understands. he could feel his heart starting to beat uncomfortably, every inch of his body conscious, his mouth felt dry.
“what?”
“i’m not going to hold you back. you can’t just make me fall in love with you everyday, thinking there would be a future for us”
“but what if there is?”
“theres no future with me, seung”
not that nickname. please. you can’t just ask him to stop talking to you and use that nickname on him. it’s not fair. you aren’t being fair. why are you being so weird right now?
“there is!” heeseung exclaims, “i’ll make sure there is. you can watch the tape everyday-“
“it won’t work, hee“
“or i’ll tell you our story-“
“you’ll get bored of it“
“i’ll remind you every morning-“
“that’s impractical“
“or i can stop by your house all the time-“
“stop”
“no, you stop.” heeseung stressed, “i have no problem waking up everyday to talk to you— or, or to remind you of our relationship. i don’t want this to end”
“seung” you sigh, “we can’t make it work and you know that” you picked up the journal beside you and showed it to him.
“i started writing in this journal ever since the day i found out about the accident. and i want to start a new chapter” you look down, “without you in it”
he stayed silent. the waves rippled under the dawning sun. hues of orange contrasted with the sea, reflecting off the colors.
“okay” heeseung says barely above a whisper. you look at him, pretending you didn’t hear him say anything. heeseung stared ahead and cleared his throat. “okay. it was nice knowing you, y/n”
he turned to you with a smile. you don’t know what kind of answer you wanted from him. maybe you half expected for him to continue screaming at you or hell even push you in the water. but for some reason, seeing his strained smile hurt you even more. you were the one who had the idea so why were you the one to slowly regret it?
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“glad for you, son” heeseung looked back to see your father walking towards him, your brother following behind.
“sir” heeseung greets, he nodded at your brother. “i’m finally off your back now” he jokes.
your father smiles, “ahh well you weren’t all bad” he says patting heeseung on the back.
heeseung smiles politely. he hesitates to say something, but ultimately thought there was nothing else to loose anyway. “how’s y/n?”
your father looks at him with raised eyebrows, “she’s moved in to the clinic now, teaches people art”
“code 110, flight A30 has opened for boarding, please get in line. i repeat, code 110, flight A30 has opened for boarding, please get in line” the speaker announced.
“that’s my cue” heeseung says, taking his suitcase. “it’s been nice knowing you sir. wished we had more time to talk, you too” heeseung nods at your father and brother. he was about to turn to the gate before a hand landed on his shoulder, stopping him.
“before you go, i want you to have this. a parting gift if you will” your father hands him an ipod. your father nods one last time and walks off. leaving heeseung quite confused.
he got in the plane and the moment he sat down, he connected the wires of his earphones in and as the familiar melody whistled in his ears he knows he fucked up.
heeseung hadn’t ever gotten up and left the plane so quick, a few people shouting at him after he bumped into them but he paid no mind. he ran out the airport and called for a cab.
he was jittery the whole ride. he realized how dumb he had been this whole time. he went through all the things you said that day and he didn’t understand why he just let you leave like that. why didn’t he put up more of a fight?
the moment he got down off the cab he ran in to the hospital searching everywhere for you until he found you back in the gardens. watering some flowers and tending to them.
“y/n” heeseung pants, you turn back a bit startled and see him. heeseung slowly walks towards you, taking careful steps one by another. “do you remember me?” he whipers.
he breathes in, your sweet scent filling him up. his face an inch away from yours. he watched as you stared up at him, admiring how the glow of your eyes shifted at every minor movement.
your lips break out into a pretty smile, “how couldn’t i?” and in a spur, your lips were on his. the longing and time that has passed all fused into a moment. heeseung grabs you by your waist to deepen the kiss and giggles from both you and him elicits against each other.
as you break apart for a moment, heeseung mumbles out something that you definitely heard but want to hear him say again.
“i love you” he whispers, “and i’ll continue to for a very long time”
even memories can never erase that feeling. the feeling of being so painfully in love with someone. the feeling of loving lee heeseung.
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© junislqve 2024. liking, rebloging, and commenting are appreciated.
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unformula1 · 9 hours
Note
Hii! Saw your request for requests. Can we have something with Reader meeting a driver unexpectedly while shopping it partying or working out, whatever and neither one realises the other is a celebrity until they mention it to their friends or coworkers
who…? (OP81 x gn!Reader)
you meet oscar while shopping for clothes, neither of you recognise each other, much to the dismay of your friends. w/c: 936 a/n: hi! if you want any other driver please dont be afraid to ask!!! (masterlist) TW: cluelessness, a few uses of y/n (and one use of y/n_l/n)
Your fingers glide through the row of neatly hung shirts. You stay focused on the shirts, not really caring about anyone else in your surroundings. 
As your sights land on a black graphic tee, you place one hand on the shirt and abruptly stop in your tracks. Before anything else can happen, someone walks directly into you, causing you to stumble back. 
You curse under your breath but look up and sheepishly apologise to the man.
“Sorry-” He says first, with a thick Australian accent no one could miss.
With one hand still on the graphic tee, you nod subtly and apologise.
The man’s eyes are glued on the shirt which you have your hands on. 
One of his hands slides up to the back of his neck as he rubs it, clearly thinking about something.
“Sorry, did you want this shirt?” You ask, to which the man nods.
“Yea- but I mean if you were planning on getting it…” His words slowly descend into just a mumble of sounds.
“It’s just that it has my name on it and I thought it was pretty cool.” The man points to the giant words on the shirt.
“Oscar?” You raise an eyebrow and the man nods rather violently.
“Yea, my name’s Oscar. Piastri. Oscar Piastri, so yea, pretty cool shirt.”
You shrug and hand him the shirt, “Well, you can take it, not like it says y/n or anything…”
“That’s my name.” You clarify and Oscar nods in response.
Oscar takes the shirt from you and smiles, “Thanks.” 
“No problem, have a good day.” You smile as he walks off.
The interaction is clearly not something you were expecting but you continue on your day, picking out another shirt before heading off.
“So… anything interesting happen?” Your friend says, leaning back on their chair.
“Yea, I had a weird thing happen at the thrift store.” You say.
“Spill.”
“I was looking at this shirt and then this guy bumped into me and asked me if he could have the shirt since it had his name on it.” You recount.
“What was his name?”
“Oscar. Piastri, or something like that.” You draw random shapes in the air as you speak.
Your friend chokes on her water, almost spitting it onto you.
“Oscar Piastri?”
“Yea, I didn’t know-”
“You met Oscar Piastri?”
“Yes… am I supposed to know him?”
Your friend is exasperated, “And you didn’t like… take a photo or anything?”
“I mean, he didn’t really ask for it, would’ve been pretty weird…”
“THE OSCAR PIASTRI!?”
“THE Y/N!” Lando’s jaw is almost on the floor.
“I mean… yes?” Oscar’s shoulders slowly shrug up.
“AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE A PHOTO OR ANYTHING?” Lando screeches with the decibel levels capable of deafening someone.
“Well- it would’ve been weird to just… say that.” Oscar tries to justify.
“THE Y/N? FOURTEEN TIME GRAMMY WINNER?” Lando violently shakes Oscar, “AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN LIKE-”
Lando sighs loudly, clearly unable to form any more coherent sentences.
“OSCAR PIASTRI? F1 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR? THE GUY WHO WON THE QATAR SPRINT LAST YEAR? PROBABLY THE BEST F1 ROOKIE?”
Your friend is almost shouting in incoherent sentences.
You cover your ears, “Okay! Chill- I’ll google him or something…”
You take out your phone and google the name ‘Oscar Piastri’. The search results tell you all you need to know about Oscar Piastri. 
“Okay… wow, so my bad on that-” You chuckle awkwardly, “I mean, he was pretty nice.”
“You BETTER somehow, someway get a photo with him!” Your friend grabs your shoulders and shakes you.
“Okay, okay!” You raise your hands in surrender.
Your friend goes to refill her cup of water which leaves you alone, pondering.
Oscar Piastri. He seemed pretty tame, and pretty sweet. Your interaction with him made you feel… an odd sense of comfort, not being begged for photos when all you wanted was to buy clothes.
It was the first time in a while and you kinda liked it.
You take a selfie, and post it to your story.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard.
When you meet THE Oscar Piastri and don’t realise until an hour later.
You chuckle at your own joke. 
ps. nice shirt.
You smile, content with yourself as you post the story, turning off your phone and putting it on the table.
Lando shoves the phone in Oscar’s face.
“LOOK!” Lando shrieks.
“The y/n knows you exist!” Lando cheers.
“You better fix this, or maybe I’ll NEVER get a photo with ‘em EVER!” Lando shouts into Oscar’s ear.
Oscar rubs his temples and sighs, “Alright, alright Lando.”
He searches your name on instagram, following you before opening your story and liking it.
He sends a message your way by replying to the story.
oscarpiastri: Hi :) 
He doesn’t really know what else to say.
You hesitate to respond, you think hard about what to say back. You don’t even know what you’re worried about.
y/n_l/n: hello mr oscar piastri.
A few months pass and you find yourself standing in a paddock belonging to McLaren.
“Hello 14-time Grammy Winner.” You hear a voice come from behind.
You have to admit, F1 wasn’t something you thought you’d be interested in, yet here you were, with the help of your friend.
“Hello Mr Piastri.” You say and smile when you see him wearing the shirt.
“Guess we should formally introduce ourselves?” He chuckles and you nod.
You clear your throat, “Can I get a photo, Mr Piastri, I’m a huge fan.”
Oscar laughs and pats your shoulder.
“May I get a photo with you?”
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Text
He's My Man (Part 2)
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Summary: The reader isn't quite so sure if she can trust Russell with her secrets but he's decided she's going to get his help, whether she wants it or not. Reluctantly she accepts but in the process realizes she might actually be starting to care about him...
Masterlist
Pairing: Russell Shaw x reader
Word Count: 4,500ish
Warnings: language, gun shot injury mention, mentions of death, angst, fluff
A/N: Ooooh things are heating up! Please enjoy!
__________
Russell stared at you with what one could only describe as a look of wonder. You didn’t exactly blame him. Eating four large cheese danishes and chugging back a week’s worth of coffee in the span of fifteen minutes was enough to make anyone’s eyes widen.
You tossed your trash in his motel waste bin when you finished and returned to your seat at the tiny corner table. With an obnoxiously loud slurp of even more coffee, Russell titled his head, shaking it slightly.
“Good god. You have never been more attractive to me, which is saying something.” You slurped again, Russell letting his curiosity in your eating habits fade away in favor of the elephant in the room. He straightened in his seat, pausing a beat. “So. What’s this long story?”
Your fingertips rattled against the side of the large styrofoam cup, a small amount of heat radiating through. Now that you’d had some time to think, or rather stress eat, you knew this was a mistake. A big one. You needed to kick Russell out of your life and the sooner the better.
“I think you have the wrong idea about what’s going on and I thought it better we talk in private,” you said. Russell wore a weary expression, his eyes dissecting your every micro-movement. “I’m not interested in a relationship or a date or conversation. I don’t do that considering my line of work and I imagine you keep things casual with yours. So you take your money and consider this a warning. Contact me again and I will have you dealt with, understand?”
Russell leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with a clenched jaw. You narrowed your eyes in response, Russell picking at his bandage without realizing. 
“Stop that,” you mumbled when he kept doing it, his lip twitching up in a not so friendly way.
“You threaten me and in the next breath are worried about my damn stitches? I don’t think you realize just how good I am at my job,” he said, placing both hands on the table, folding them together. You swallowed, Russell staring so intently you had to glance away. “Alright. Back at the coffee shop, that was a moment of bravery and now it’s passed? Tough shit. We’re in the weeds now and we ain’t leaving until I know you do your job of your own free will. Understand?”
“Forget I said anything.” You stood up, Russell matching the movement and catching your bicep before you could take a step. Yes, he was injured but even one armed, he had enough raw strength in him to keep you from leaving.
“Tell me or I dig on my own and make things a lot riskier for both of us.” He dropped his hand, nodding to the seat. Russell sighed. “I trusted you. You can do the same.”
“You’re one guy.” You shook your head. “Drop this or you’ll wind up dead or worse.”
“I made my living doing jobs where if I fucked up I’d wish I were dead over the alternative. I know how to keep a secret. Maybe I can help, maybe I can’t. But you opened the box. You can’t just close it again.”
“Yes, I can. Goodbye, Russell.” You grabbed your coffee and headed for the door, pausing when you had a hand on the handle.
But what if he could help…he was ex-special ops…
Russell’s hand slid over yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. You frowned, a reassuring smile greeting you.
“Do you like your job?” he asked. 
“S’complicated,” you whispered.
“How complicated?”
“Jobs like yours…that’s up to me to do that stuff but I…I work for someone else.” You found Russell’s unreadable green eyes and sighed. “I’m a fixer for the local mafia. It’s not a job you get to quit and stay alive very long.”
Russell contemplated your words, lips forming a thin line before he nodded. “I can take care of that assuming your story checks out.”
“My story?” you asked, Russell humming. “Why would I lie-”
“You could be playing me for any number of reasons. Like I said, I’m going to check your story out and if it’s all kosher, we’ll figure out where to go from there. Capiche?”
“Fine,” you grit out, shaking his hand away. “But do it quietly. You got three days.”
Late Evening
Your eye actually twitched when you answered your front door that night to find not your pizza delivery man before you but Russell fucking Shaw. He wore a deep navy utility jacket that hung loosely around his trim waist and a pair of black jeans. You weren’t sure why but his shift from lighter colored clothing this morning to this dark, edgy look made him look as dangerous as you expected he was.
“Russell,” you said. He didn’t bother hiding his smirk, eyes roaming over your body. You glanced down at your soft pale yellow pajama shirt and matching shorts set, huffing when he slipped past you inside.
“You totally are the kind of woman to having matching jammies,” he chuckled. You gripped the door tight, ready to kick him out just as your delivery driver pulled up.
“Just…take off your boots.” Two minutes later you had your pizza and garlic knots on your kitchen counter while Russell leaned back against it, his jacket since removed and tossed on the back of your couch. He wore a black zip up that was undone over a black t-shirt, Russell shifting at your growing unease.
“Listen,” he said, holding up his hands. “You got questions but first off, I’m not here to hurt you. This is just what I wear when I need to go…looking around places I ain’t exactly invited into.”
“Like my home?” He stared blankly, eyes drifting down to your chest. “The flirting was cute. Eye-fucking me in my kitchen, not so much.”
“You have sauce all over your shirt.” You glanced down, spotting marinara drops all over your short sleeve button up top from where you’d had the edge of the pizza box pressed against your torso as you’d carried it in. “Thanks for thinking so highly of me, though. Makes a guy feel special.”
“I’m on edge, alright?” you snapped, grabbing a towel and trying to get most of the sauce out. “Plus I just ruined a two hundred dollar shirt.”
“Figured you for a oversized men’s t-shirts kind of gal but little sets from french boutiques suites you.” You froze, Russell dropping his hands. “I know all about your shopping habits. You have high quality taste, much richer than the average suburbanite.”
“And?” you said, tossing the towel down, hands going to your hips. “Are you about to kidnap me and turn me over to the mafia or what?”
Russell approached you slowly, gently picking up the towel from the floor and dabbing it with some dish soap. 
“If I had wanted to hurt you or take you or whatever else is going through your head, you wouldn’t have seen me coming.” He rubbed the towel against the damp spot on your shirt, letting the fabric get soapy. “Let that soak for a few minutes and then after you have some dinner, toss it in the wash. It’ll come out good as new.”
“How do you know that?” you asked, Russell hanging your towel on the oven handle. 
“Because knowing how to get stains out of all types of fabrics is kind of necessary in my line of work,” he said, opening a few cabinets before finding the one with the plates. “Now. Can you put the knife you thought you grabbed without me seeing back and we have a civilized conversation over pizza?”
You weren’t sure how he’d seen you swipe the knife from the butchers block but figured he had a point. If he’d wanted to screw you over, he would have done it already. After excusing yourself, you returned in a pair of skinny black joggers and a slightly cropped gray AC/DC shirt to find Russell had already plated two sizeable portions for yourselves. 
“See? Now that’s a look more fitting for the princess of darkness,” he chuckled.
“That’s queen of darkness to you,” you said, taking a seat at the island in front of one of the plates. “Do me a favor, lover boy. Grab me a guinness from the fridge.”
“Dark stout. Always a good choice.” He got out two, removing the cap for you before retreating to the other side of the island.
“As much as I love uninvited house guests who welcome themselves to my food and beer, why are you here, Russell?” You took a large bite of pizza, Russell long necking his beer for a moment. 
“Yet I don’t see you kicking me out. It’s okay to admit you’ve fallen for me, Y/N,” he teased. You growled, Russell’s eyebrows raising in amusement. “Hot damn, woman. I love when you get all grr. Tells me you are a force to be reckoned with.”
You rolled your eyes, Russell taking an extra large bite. “Stop flirting and talk.”
“Why can’t I do both?” he asked, not waiting for an answer. “But to answer your original question, I’m here because your story checked out and that’s kind of a problem.”
“Excuse me? Why is that an issue?”
He set his plate down and gripped the island, leaning over it slightly. “Y/N. I can call up a few friends and wipe out a local mafia family no problem.”
“Awesome. Then what’s the fucking problem?” Russell tilted his head, like you’d just walked into some kind of trap he’d set.
“Y/N. Despite all the obvious sexual tension brewing between us, you failed to mention that you have a boyfriend. You know, the head of this fucking mafia family. The boyfriend that buys you those fancy french pajama sets? The one that bought that espresso machine over there? Girl, you better explain yourself because I am not a hired gun.”
You chewed quietly for a few moments under the heated scrutiny of Russell’s gaze before you pushed the plate away.
“My dad was an accomplished doctor. He was very well respected. I grew up very comfortably until I was about eight.” Russell loosened his stance and began to eat while you decided what he needed to absolutely know. “My dad unknowingly saved a mobster’s life one night in the ER. Mr. Lauter.”
“The former head of the mafia and this guy, Owen, your supposed boyfriend’s dad?” You nodded before taking a big swig from your bottle.
“Well, that pissed off Mr. Elpine who had almost had a successful hit on Mr. Lauter. Elpine tried to get my dad to kill Lauter. Dad refused and the next morning on the way to school, the brake lines in our car didn’t work. Dad and I walked away. Mom and my brother didn’t. Dad was scared Elpine would come after me again.”
“Your father went to Lauter for protection,” said Russell. You picked up your pizza as he put together the rest of the pieces. “Lauter offers him protection for saving his life but something happens and your dad ends up working for Lauter as his fixer.”
“The paranoia got to dad. He would take me on these weekend hunting trips all the time and teach me survival skills and medical stuff and I was a fucking kid, Russell. I didn’t want to do that shit but dad was…twitchy. PTSD for sure, a mental break too. I always guessed there was some brain trauma after the accident that never healed. He got real bad when I went to college. Bad enough that Lauter stepped in when my dad attacked me when I came home for the holidays. Lauter killed him and the fucked up part was I wasn’t even upset. My real dad had died when I was a kid. But…when a mob boss kills for you whether you wanted them to or not-”
“They think they own you for life.” You nodded. “So you became the fixer.”
“They let me finish college under the condition I come back and work for the family. They leave me be except for when I need to patch someone in the crew up. It’s honestly not that bad. They gave me a lot of money over the years. I hate to say this but Mr. Lauter was pretty good to me.”
Russell cleared his throat. “You do know how fucked up what he did to you is, right?”
“Of course I do,” you said, closing your eyes. “But compared to my dad and Owen, he was the lesser evil.”
“I came across the fact Mr. Lauter died about three weeks ago from heart disease.” You hummed. “Tell me about this fuckface, Owen.”
“Dude has had a crush on me since he was fucking twelve. He has it in his head that the family owns me, literally. Lauter always reined him in but since he’s been gone, Owen’s been…pushy. Telling the crew I’m his girlfriend, asking them to follow me. Thankfully, and this is why this is so weird, I grew up around a lot of the guys. Making me work and fix people, fine. But some kind of forced romance? They aren’t cool with it, at least they’re kind of ignoring Owen. I’ve kept Owen off my back because he’s grieving and busy trying to take over but he’s going to back on my ass soon. This time, those guys will have to listen to their new boss.”
“So…I take out Owen and you think you’re in the clear. You could have just said that.” He finished off his beer and washed his hands at the sink. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going grab essentials, and I mean essentials, while I pack up your dinner in what I expect is some color coordinated tupperware. Then you’re going to take my car and drive to Elmhurst Camping Grounds. It’s about four hours north of here and no, you will stop for anything so use the bathroom before you go and I’ll pack you a snack. You’re going to park in the visitors lot and go to the airstream in lot 4. It’ll be isolated. You knock on the door and there’ll be a guy inside. Colter. You stay with him, go wherever he goes and do whatever he tells you to without question. You don’t leave his side until I come and get you, understand?”
“I feel like if I ask questions you’ll just tell me I don’t want to know.” Russell smirked.
“I love that big brain of yours.” You rolled your eyes but felt a tiny smile on your face. “Warming up to me are we?”
“Fuck no. But uh, who the hell are you sending me to?”
“My baby brother. Don’t worry. His ugly mug will keep you safe.”
Four Hours Later
“Uh, hi,” you said, practically bouncing up and down at midnight in front of a strange tall man at a very nice airstream RV. 
“Y/N,” he said as you forced a smile. “Bathroom is right there-”
You darted past him and into the small cubby bathroom, grateful after the long drive. The man was waiting leaned against a small counter space when you exited, a temporary bed made up behind him in what looked like a breakfast nook.
“Sorry to barge in. Russell said not to stop for anything.” 
“S’alright,” he said. “Bed’s made up if you want to crash. I’m going to stay up a bit longer by the fire. You’re welcome to join if you like.”
“Thanks, uh…” you said, a very brief smile on his face as you tried to remember what Russell had called him.
“Colter. It’s not a problem.” He skirted by you and outside, taking a seat in a foldable camping chair. You had questions but for the moment, all you wanted was to get some rest. 
You woke up around six thirty, jolting up in your bed to find a very wet and nearly naked Colter trying to pick up a mug he’d dropped. 
“Well good morning,” you said, his hand in a death grip on the towel just barely concealing him away.
“Morning,” he said, slowly backing up to the bedroom. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Not a problem,” you said, catching a whiff of coffee. 
“Mug are in the first cabinet if you want a cup. I’ll be out in a minute,” he said. He excused himself to his room and slid the divider shut, leaving you to the rest of the airstreamer. 
A moment later you were outside in front of a small fire, sitting in a chair with warm coffee in your hands. It was cool and you wished you’d thought to pack a jacket in your haste last night.
You were rubbing your arms when something was draped over your shoulders, a thick heavy hoodie. 
“Russell got you out of there pretty quick, huh?” asked Colter, taking the mug while you shrugged into the warm fleece.
“Yeah. All I grabbed was my wallet, some cash and my computer. He told me I could buy clothes here,” you said. Colter handed you back the mug and took a seat beside you.
“I checked his car. He had a duffel full of his clothes in there I brought inside. You can use his stuff, or mine, until we can hit a store.”
“Thanks,” you said, smelling Russell’s deodorant on the fabric. Colter saw you tug the hood up, a question on the tip of his tongue but he decided against it. The air was still and quiet apart from the crackle of fire and morning birds. 
“So,” said Colter, not looking at you as he drank. “You and Russell…you like, his girlfriend-”
“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I just met the guy yesterday. All I did was patch him up.”
“Right.” You sunk lower in your chair, slurping loudly.
“Were you special ops like him?” you asked. Colter shook his head.
“Civilian. Never had any formal training, just what we grew up with.” Well, that was an interesting statement. What the hell did it mean though? “Our father was a survivalist, taught us things.”
“Oh. My dad was a little out there too.” Was that why Russell was so adamant about helping you out of your situation? No. Maybe it played a part, but no. He’d wanted to help before you told him that. “Does Russell do this sort of thing often?”
“No clue. First time I talked to him in years was two days ago. I helped him find a friend of his. I was there when he got that bullet hole in him you fixed.”
Alrighty then. Russell was becoming more and more intriguing by the second. 
“So you don’t know a lot about him then,” you said. Colter shrugged.
“I guess I’m figuring him out too but he’s a good guy. He’s somebody you want as a friend.” You hummed, finishing your coffee off. Colter excused himself to get you more and returned with a fresh cup, steam billowing from within. 
“You trail run?” you asked, Colter’s eyes showing a flash of surprise. “Muddy sneakers by the door. I did cross country in school.”
“I try to get out most mornings. The hot water should be good to go in about five minutes if you want a shower.” 
“Thanks.” You licked your lips as you remembered the sight of him exiting the bathroom not long ago. Sure, Colter was hot but Russell…well the image of that man in nothing but a towel as water dripped down his body…You shifted in your seat, squeezing your legs together to try and get a hold of yourself. Colter smirked slightly in his seat. “What?”
“I’m good at reading people is all.”
“And? What am I saying?” you asked, staring him down. Colter only smiled as he looked away to the fire.
“You’re wondering if Russell works out and picturing him naked.” You glared at him but it did nothing to hide the heat radiating off your cheeks. “Hey, you’re a grown woman. You can do as you please.”
“I think I will take that shower now.” You stood and set the mug down on the ground, shooting Colter one last look. There’d been no malice or teasing in his voice. He was simply being straight with you. “Listen. I just…I haven’t exactly been around good guys much, or ever. I’m not saying there’s anything there beyond physical attraction, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, looking at you like you were the worst liar in the world. “Whatever you say.”
You grumbled and went inside to take a very cold shower.
Three Days Later - Spokane, Washington
“Hey, Colt,” you said, pushing up the long sleeves of Russell’s gray henley you wore. Colter hummed around the piece of grilled chicken in his mouth as you spun your laptop around from the other side of the airstream’s dining table. “Could she have gone here? Looks like a decommissioned game trail.”
“Yeah, yeah that fits,” he said with his mouth full, chewing and swallowing quickly so he could take a closer look. You returned to your own dinner, Colter mentioning he was going to take a look after dark. 
Things had fallen into an easy pattern with the two of you. Colter was very different than his brother but it wasn’t a bad thing. He didn’t talk much and worked as a rewardist. He’d planned on sticking around the east coast for when Russell met up with you again but an urgent case in Washington popped up. You’d spent most of the past three days driving cross-country behind Colter’s truck and the airstreamer, learning what the hell a rewardist was.
Colter had told you about the case at first to keep your mind off of Russell but you’d reluctantly taken an interest and now were deep in the weeds of helping him locate a missing young woman.
“You want to come look with me?” asked Colter, breaking you out of your train of thought. You blinked, a small smile on his face. “Come on. It’ll get you some experience with rewardest work and stop you from doom scrolling.”
“Alright,” you sighed. While you appreciated Colter’s attempts to make you feel better, you were starting to get very concerned. You hadn’t heard from Russell since you left your house a few days ago and there was nothing in the news about the local mafia members being killed. Or him.
Colter rubbed your back when you helped him unhook it from the airstream. He tended to do that when you started to get stressed out. He hadn’t been lying before. He really was good at reading people. 
“Colter,” you said in the dark truck, the hum of the vehicle quiet in the cab as he drove. “What if something happened to him and he needs our help?”
“He knows what he’s doing. A job like this, he’s got to do a lot of prep work and he’s got to put a crew together. Trusted friends. Try not to worry.” You bit your bottom lip as you stared out the window, trees passing by. 
If only it were that simple.
It was two in the morning by the time you and Colter made it back to the camping grounds. You’d found Martha in not too great of shape but she was alive and the doctors said she’d make a full recovery with time. Colter has tried to give you some of the reward money for helping but you hadn’t done all that much in your opinion. 
“Stay here,” he said when he turned the truck into your lot and you spotted a dark figure sitting by the fire. He took his gun from the back of jeans and got out, pausing halfway out the door. He smiled over at you and you caught the dark figure give an awkward little wave. “Should I tell him how much you’ve been worried?”
“Not. A. Word. Colter,” you said before hopping out and happily rushing over to where Russell rose to his feet. You didn’t realize you were giving him a hug until he was laughing, returning it and lifting you off the ground. 
“I missed my queen of darkness too,” he chuckled, setting you down with a smirk. You scoffed, Russell’s eyebrows raising at your attire. “Is that my jacket? And shirt?”
“Why waste the money on new stuff,” you shrugged, Russell grinning like an idiot. “Stop that.”
“I’m sure that was the reason.” Colter came over, the boys sharing a nod. “You keep my little delinquent out of trouble?”
“She’s a breeze,” said Colter, taking a seat. “Even helped with my latest case. She should try the rewardist thing. She’s good at it.”
“Maybe. All I want to know is am I good?” you asked. Russell took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He nodded, the tension running of out your body. “Thank you, Russell. Thank your friends too. I’ll pay you guys-”
“No payment. This was because you’re my friend, plain and simple. Just knowing you’re safe is more than enough.” You smiled, letting yourself rest your head against his shoulder. “You should rest. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“How-”
“In the morning. I need to catch up with my little brother.” You nodded, enjoying the feel of his heavy hand as it ran over your head. “Go sleep, Y/N. You’re exhausted.”
You reluctantly peeled yourself away and went inside to find your makeshift bed had been done up for you already. You didn’t even try to fight the flutters in your stomach when you spotted a yellow pajama shirt and shorts set neatly folded on top. There was a note beside it, a stupid ass smile finding it’s way onto your face.
Brand new. Imported from France. Don’t get used to fancy ass presents like these. I ain’t made of money. Even if these are soft as fuck and I totally wish they made these for men. I still think you’d look better wearing a band tee to bed.
Russ
P.S. They had a sale so I got you something else too. Check your backpack.
You shook your head and grabbed your bag from the floor, taking out a very elegant black bag. You undid the tissue paper and went wide eyed. 
Inside was a very, very, fancy black lace bra and multiple pairs of gorgeous bikini style undies in soft muted colors. There was another note waiting for you inside, your heart stilling.
No strings attached. Hopefully these will cover you for a little while until you can get settled again.
“Oh, Russell,” you said quietly, thumbing over the bag, smiling to yourself as your insides did very happy backflips.
He wasn’t just a pretty and protective face. He was thoughtful too.
And you were starting to fall for a guy that’d most likely be gone by this time tomorrow.
Fuck.
__________
A/N: Part 3 coming soon!
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mrsshabana · 2 days
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𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞
ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, age difference, angst, fluff, daddy issues, mommy issues, modern au ꔫ‧₊ Note 5k words. I want to thank everyone who was so excited for this fic, your kind words really encouraged me to write so much! I hope you enjoy it and keep an eye out for chapter two ♡
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This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Gyutaro’s pathetic life since his sister was accepted into college. 
His life is nothing special really, and it never has been. Always taking care of his little sister was his number one priority so his needs and wants were always put on the back burner. Not like he had much of a choice anyway. With a face like that, how are you supposed to get anywhere in life? He’s thirty-five and has never had a romantic partner, but no surprise there. His personality is unpleasant and he doesn’t have much going for him. His job is alright and he can afford to support himself and his sister but that’s about it. 
By now he’s come to accept the fact that some things just aren’t in the cards for him. Things like a wife and maybe even kids. As he got older he found himself longing for these things more and more. Especially when he witnessed all of his friends getting married and starting families of their own. But now at his age, no woman would want to get with him, let alone start a family.
At first, he was mad at the world and everyone in it. It wasn’t fair that he was denied love just because he had a few spots on his face, crooked teeth, and was a bit rough around the edges. The jealousy and anger ate at him for many years, causing his personality to become bitter and cold. On the outside, he seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t care about love, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Since he grew up without receiving any love from his mother, it was always something that he craved, even as an adult.
But he grew up, and he had no choice but to realize this was his reality and there was no changing it. It was hard to accept, but he’s finally come to peace with it. At least he has Ume, and honestly, he’s grateful for that. 
But now, you came into his life and things are beginning to take an interesting turn. 
You’re Ume’s friend from college, she’s a year older than you but you got to know her well in one of your math classes. Ume hates math so she waited until her senior year to take it, which she is starting to regret now. The only upside to the situation is that she met you.
Having gotten pretty close to Ume over the course of the semester, she would often invite you over to her place. You’ve heard her talk about her brother before but you had never met him since he was usually at work when you came over. But when you saw him for the first time, he wasn’t what you had expected. He looked a lot different than the image you had in your mind and he was a lot less friendly than Ume had described him. But even though most of the time he was in a bad mood, he’d be polite to you for the brief moments he was around. 
The first thing you noticed about him was how tall he was and how deep and raspy his voice sounded. It was oddly attractive, especially when paired with his messy black hair. You knew he was older than Ume but he didn’t look that old. The only thing that maybe signified his age were the dark circles around his eyes, probably from being overworked. 
Gyutaro never expected to get close to his little sister’s best friend. It’s something he never would have considered, but your actions are causing him to rethink his stance on your almost nonexistent relationship.
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
One night you’re studying over at Ume’s place again. The two of you sit in the dining room, with notebooks, pens, and textbooks spread across the table. Midterms are coming up so you’re trying really hard to get some studying done. Even though Ume keeps getting distracted and scrolling through TikTok.
You’ve almost lost your sanity with this study session when you hear the front door unlocking. 
Gyutaro, looking as tired as usual, walks into the house. Kicking off his shoes and throwing his bag on the floor. He barely even acknowledges you as he walks past saying, “Girls, can you please clean the table.”
“Mm hm,” Ume hums as she continues looking at her phone screen. 
He knows she isn’t going to do as he asks, but he always asks anyway. Today has been a long day and Gyutaro just wishes he could go to sleep but he knows he has a household to take care of. So he hurriedly rushes over to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Coming out with messy damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He goes straight to his bedroom, but you manage to catch a glimpse of him through the hall. 
The way his long hair sticks to his muscled shoulders and back distracts you. And even after he’s gone from your sight, the heavenly image is still stuck in your mind. 
“Will I ever get a break?” he thinks to himself as he puts on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, “As soon as I’m done cooking I’m passing out.” It’s only 8 pm but after another overtime shift, he’s pooped. Ume’s lucky he loves her so much, or else he would just make her eat a Lean Cuisine for dinner.
He doesn’t even bother to brush his hair and just heads straight towards the kitchen. But on his way, he’s met with something that surprises him. 
“You actually cleaned the table?” he says in shock.
“No, she did,” Ume points to you without even looking up from her phone. 
Gyutaro scowls and hits Ume in the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper, “What’s the matter with you? It’s rude to make your guest clean!”
“Hey!! Cut it out!! I didn’t tell her to, she did it on her own!” Ume whines.
“Still, you should have cleaned it yourself,” he grumbles and throws the newspaper to the side, “Y/N, I’m sorry. Please stay for dinner, that’s the least I could offer you for helping my sister since she’s too lazy to do anything on her own.”
“No no, it’s ok! I don’t want to put more work on your plate -”
“I insist,” he smiles and begins preparing the ingredients. 
Ume pays no attention to the matter, as you admire her brother while he works away in the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he takes a sip and sighs before he begins washing some vegetables. 
You sit there and stare at his muscles, admiring the way they move along with noticing the tattoo on his upper arm. The way his hair falls in his face, and he tries to push it away with his wrist while his hands hold ingredients. 
This is something you’ve never had before. A man who takes care of you. It’s something new for you, and quite frankly you’re a bit jealous of Ume. It must be nice to have someone who takes care of her like Gyutaro does. Especially since your father was never around, it feels comforting being in this kind of atmosphere with Gyutaro and his sister. 
The loud clattering of metal hitting the floor snaps you out of the trance you were in. It seems that Gyutaro dropped a knife because he had almost fallen asleep. You can see his eyes closing slowly as he shakes his head in an attempt to wake himself up. Even though you barely know him, the sight makes you feel bad for him. He must be so exhausted, yet he’s determined to make dinner for his little sister. 
“Hey, do you need any help?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen. 
“N-no, thank you though.” He tries to brush you off and continue cooking but you stop him, grabbing his wrist and taking the utensils out of his hand. “It’s ok really, you seem exhausted. Plus I like cooking so it’s no biggie!” You smile and try to lead him away from the kitchen.
“What? No! You’re our guest it’d be rud-”
“Onii-chan just let her do it! She’s offering, stop being so stubborn!” Ume chimes in.
“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a bad host. You’ve been nothing but welcoming to me, I just want to help out,” you lead him over to the couch and force him to sit down, “Everyone deserves a break once in a while.”
“But I-” his sentence trails off as he watches you walk away, not giving him any say in the matter. He feels incredibly guilty for letting you cook. But his body is too tired to fight it, and you no longer hear any complaints from him.
Looking around the kitchen you scan what Gyutaro had set up. There’s a pot of boiling water on the stove, a pan with oil in it, some half-cut tomatoes, a box of pasta, and an unopened package of meat. You can only assume that he was trying to make spaghetti. Luckily for you, it’s easy enough and something you’ve made countless times before. 
After about 30 minutes you have all of the food prepared. You make a plate for yourself, Ume, and Gyutaro. 
“Thanks, Y/N!” Ume exclaims as she finally puts down her phone and takes her plate. 
Next, you walk over to Gyutaro to give him his food, but he’s already passed out on the couch. The bottle of beer still in his hand, half full. 
“Poor thing,” you whisper to yourself, “Guess it’ll just be Ume and I for now.” You take the plate to the table and eat with Ume, opting that it’s probably best to let Gyutaro sleep. 
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
His stomach rumbles and his eyes are heavy as he slowly opens them, looking around at his surroundings. Confused for a moment as he forgot where he was. The living room is dark and quiet and he can’t quite remember why or how he fell asleep here. 
But then he looks over at the coffee table and remembers everything. His bottle is placed aptly beside a plate full of delicious looking pasta. Neatly wrapped in plastic wrap with a note reading, Enjoy! :)
“No way,” he mumbles as he tears off the plastic and begins to dig in. His eyes roll to the back of his head when the delicious food hits his tongue. Things taste so much better when someone else makes them. And honestly, he can’t recall how many years it’s been since someone has cooked him a meal. Five? Possibly ten? Either way, he savors the moment.
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
That meal has been on Gyutaro’s mind for days now. Never forgetting the taste and the gratifying feeling of eating a meal that was carefully prepared by someone else. It was amazing. And you’ve been on his mind ever since that night.
He told Ume to thank you since he didn’t have your number, and he really hopes she actually did it and didn’t just blow him off like she usually does.
As he drives home from work he can’t help but think of how nice it would be to come home to one of your home-cooked meals. It’s become a fantasy of his to imagine this on his drives home after a long shift. The thought brings him some comfort even though he knows it will never become a reality.
And just as he was driving through downtown he saw someone familiar. It was you, standing beneath one of the street lights as a strange man loomed over you. He appeared to be talking to you, but your body language looked as if you were very uncomfortable with the situation. 
The strange man appeared to be around Gyutaro’s age and all he could think was, “C’mon man, you’re too old to be doing this shit to a young girl. You should know better.” He rolls his eyes and pulls over next to the sidewalk. 
With a deep, tired sigh, he gets out of the car and yells, “Hey Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 
At first, the sudden voice calling out to you startles you, but as soon as you see that it’s Ume’s brother you feel like you’ve been saved. The strange man looks over at Gyutaro too, giving him a confused look.
“We’re gonna be late for that movie,” Gyutaro smiles as if everything is normal and walks up to you, “Oh, who’s this? Do I know this guy?”
“Uh n-no, I don’t think you know him,” you say nervously. 
Gyutaro nods and takes your hand, “Sorry man, but we gotta go. We’re gonna miss the premier if we don’t get going now.” 
The stranger seems convinced and walks off as Gyutaro leads you back to his car. Opening the door for you, as he watches the man walk away. Making sure he’s gone for good. 
You don’t hesitate to get into his car, a huge wave of relief washing over you once you’re safely inside. 
As soon as Gyutaro gets into the car he scolds you, “What the hell were you doing out here by yourself?” His eyes scan your form, and he notices you’re wearing a short dress.
“I was out with some friends,” you say shyly, “and I wanted to go home, but everyone else wanted to stay out…” 
He sighs and starts the car, “You can’t walk around like that, creepy guys are gonna flock towards you. It’s dangerous.”
“I know, I was so stupid for doing that… B-but thank you so much for helping me, Gyutaro! You really saved me there,” you feel tears well up in your eyes as you imagine what might have happened to you if Gyutaro never showed up. 
“Hey hey, it’s alright,” his expression softens, “You’re ok now, that’s all that matters. And from now on if you need a ride just call me, ok?”
“R-really? I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything…”
“Don’t worry about it, you’re Ume’s friend. I’d do it for Ume so I’d do it for you too. Besides, I work around here so it’s no big deal,” he smiles and hands you his phone so you can put your number in.
“Thanks. Ume’s really lucky to have a big brother like you,” you say as you finish creating your contact in his phone.
“I try my best I guess, heh if only Ume heard you say that. Anyway, where do you live?”
“Oh, right! It’s super close to here,” you type the directions into his phone navigation, “I really owe you for this, Gyutaro! What can I do to make it up to you?”
“Wh-what? No no no, you don’t have to do anything,” he gets a bit flustered as he begins driving towards your place. 
“Come on! You did so much for me, it’s the least I could do! Ooh, how about I cook something for you?” You raise your eyebrows and smile, trying to convince him. 
When he hears your plea, it’s like his prayers were answered. 
“... well, I can’t say no to that.”
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
The long-awaited day has finally come. The day that you will bring over some home-cooked meals to Gyutaro’s house. He’s been anticipating this ever since you promised it to him.
You come over holding tons of containers of food, much more than he had expected. 
“Woah, let me help you,” he says as he holds the front door open and takes one of the bags out of your hand.
“Ah, thanks. I didn’t realize how much food I made until I had to pack it all up,” you laugh and walk into his home. Placing the food on the table, you neatly snack boxes of prepared meals. 
“What’s all this?” he asks, a bit confused. He was expecting you to bring over a big container full of food, not a bunch of small ones. 
“I know you work a lot and stuff. So, I thought it’d be better if I packed everything up into individual meals so you can just grab them and take them to work. Less prep work for you. I hope that’s alright…”
Gyutaro is truly left speechless, unable to believe that you not only put so much effort into this but also so much consideration as well. Still in disbelief, he takes one of the neatly packed boxes and opens it up. Inside he’s met with a delicious meal separated neatly, and even a small dessert tucked into the side. The sight is beautiful, but the smell is what really makes him salivate. 
“Wow,” he smiles, “I-I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, thank you.” 
He begins to choke up. After so many years of taking care of his sister, always worrying about her needs, caring for her, stepping up and being that guardian that she needed, never once did someone stop to ask him what he wanted. Let alone go out of their way to take care of him. And for once, just once, he gets a taste of what it feels like to be cared for. Nurtured. And it’s a feeling he wishes he never had to let go of.
All of the emotions he’s kept in for so long finally pour out of him. Your kindness and consideration force his walls to crumble. And his eyes begin to water as he pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. 
“Hey, are you alright?” You ask as you immediately notice that something isn’t right.
It takes him a moment to compose himself, “I-I’m ok,” he rasps, “Just… I really appreciate you doing this. It’s been so long since someone has done something for me…”
“Well, you deserve it,” you smile and try to comfort him by rubbing his back, “I can tell you work really hard. My mom is the same way. So I understand.”
“Thanks,” he smiles and quickly composes himself, “A-Anyway, I’m going to try one right now. It smells great.” He quickly tries to change the subject partially because he’s embarrassed, but also because he genuinely cannot wait to taste your cooking again.
The food still feels warm so he rushes into the kitchen to grab a fork, and he sits at the table and digs in. Immediately as the food hits his tongue he lets out a groan of satisfaction. 
“Mmph, ooh my god,” he says right before he shoves another spoonful into his mouth, “so good!”
“I’m glad you like it,” you smile and sit beside him at the table, “These recipes are super easy and budget-friendly, so I can give them to you if you want.”
“Please! Mmph, that’d be great,” he swallows another big bite, “Where’d you learn to cook so well?”
“I just learned over time. It’s always just been my mom and I, my dad was never around,” you sigh, “So I kinda had to learn how to take care of myself since my mom always had two jobs. I would always make food for us to ease her workload. And I’ve always enjoyed cooking so I never minded.”
“Wait, for real?” he looks surprised, “My mom was never around! Man, it fucking sucks doesn’t it?”
“So you understand how I feel!” you smile despite talking about something upsetting, “So, your dad was the one that raised you?”
“Basically,” he nods as he licks his fork clean, “My mom wouldn’t let my dad come around much, even though she wasn’t around much herself. I was pretty much on my own till my mom  died and my dad took us in.”
Watching him talk about his past, you get the impression that it’s something he doesn’t often talk about. His body language alone is enough to tell you that. But the two of you feel some type of connection having shared a similar childhood experience.
“Your dad sounds like a good man,” you smile, “I think he’d be very proud of you.”
He looks up at you, his eyes shining with a mixture of sadness and appreciation. “Thanks… he really was the best. But sometimes I just wish I could have had a normal family.”
“Yeah I totally get it,” you sigh, “That’s why I always told myself I’d try to give my future kid the best life I can.  I want to give them the childhood I never had…” You trail off, thinking about the future you hope will become a reality one day. 
“Exactly!” he shouts, “That’s exactly what I told myself too! I always wanted a family so I could do things right.”
He seems excited at first but his expression quickly shifts to one of sadness. 
“But it’s too late for me to have a family,” he continues, looking down as he opens up about one of his biggest failures, “Oh well, if Ume ever has kids I’ll just try to be the best uncle I can.”
“Why would you say it’s too late?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.”
“Y/N, I’m thirty-five years old. I’m too old to start a family… Besides most women my age are done having kids. Not that any woman would want to be with me anyways.” He frowns, being reminded of how he failed to fulfill one of the only dreams he’s ever had. 
“Why not just start a family with a young girl, like me?” You ask without completely realizing what you’re saying. 
“Wh-what?” his eyes widen, completely taken aback by your statement. Could you be insinuating what he thinks you’re insinuating? He’s not sure whether you’re just naive or completely delusional. 
“W-Well um,” you blush as you begin to realize what you’ve said, “I think you’re a really great guy. Any woman would be lucky to-”
“Get out,” he cuts you off. 
“I’m sorry-”
“GET OUT!” He raises his voice, striking fear into you to the point where you feel your eyes begin to water. 
You feel utterly embarrassed and ashamed. Just when you were starting to get close to him too, you had to say something stupid to ruin it all. Honestly, you have no idea what you were thinking. You will admit you did have a crush on him, so maybe your heart just got excited and took a risky leap of faith. But unfortunately for you, it backfired. 
Without another word you rush out of his house as fast as you can, balling your eyes out. 
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚. 
It’s been a few days, and Gyutaro has been ignoring your texts. They stopped coming after that first day, and even though he didn’t respond he still read them. Reading your apologies over and over. He couldn’t get the situation out of his head no matter how hard he tried. So he decided maybe he needed an outside opinion. 
He finds himself sitting at a bar, drinking a beer. Rubbing his rough hand across the stubble that’s grown on his face as he’s been too stressed lately to bother shaving. Honestly, he looks pretty rough. He’s caught up in his self-sabotaging thoughts when he hears a familiar voice call out to him.
“Gyutaro! How’ve you been, man?”
He turns around with a smile on his face, “Hey Kai, what’s up?” He stands and gives his best friend a side hug. 
“Gyutarooooo, do I get a hug too?” an annoying voice chimes, a voice that instantly gives Gyutaro a headache. This voice could only belong to one person. 
“I hope you don’t mind that I invited him too,” Kaigaku laughs nervously.
“Douma…” Gyutaro deadpans.
“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Douma smiles wide, giving Gyutaro a one-sided hug. “So, spill the details! Kai said you had some juicy gossip to talk about!” He says as he sits beside him at the bar, placing his hand under his chin and batting his long eyelashes. 
Kaigaku takes a seat on the other side of Gyutaro and mumbles, “Maybe this was a mistake.”
“It’s fine,” Gyutaro sighs and takes a drink from his bottle, “I really just wanted some advice. Just promise you won’t make it weird.”
“When do I ever make things weird?” Douma asks. 
Gyutaro just stares at him, thinking of all of the times he has indeed made things weird. 
“Come on man, just spit it out already!” Kaigaku nudges his shoulder. 
Gyutaro groans and slumps over in his seat, “Alright alright. So, there’s this girl-”
“A girl?!” Both of his friends say in unison. 
“Shut up!” Gyutaro growls, knowing exactly why his friends are so shocked. Because out of all of the years they’ve known him, he’s never once brought up a girl. 
“Anyway,” he continues, “There’s a girl I kind of like… she’s really sweet and we have a lot in common but…” he trails off, hesitant to tell them the truth, “She’s only twenty-one…”
Kaigaku chokes on his drink.
“I don’t see an issue,” Douma says, genuinely confused.
“Of course, you don’t,” Gyutaro mumbles under his breath. 
“How the hell did you get into this situation?” Kaigaku coughs.
“It wasn’t on purpose! I didn’t pursue her at all!” Gyutaro scowls, “Listen, she’s one of Ume’s friends. She comes over a lot and she’s been really nice to me. She even cooked a bunch of meals for me too…”
“And? Spill it, Shabana!” Douma pouts, getting impatient. 
“AND, we were talking about what we want for our future. I told her I wanted a family one day but I’m too old… and she said why don’t I have a family with a young girl like her. I immediately told her to leave. I’m starting to think maybe I overreacted…”
“Well, girls that age are very fertile!” Douma chimes as if his statement was completely innocent.
“STOP!” Gyutaro shouts, “That’s fucking weird, man! Don’t say it like that!” 
“Maybe I shouldn’t have invited him…” Kaigaku mumbles. 
“Hey, it’s true! I am a gynecologist after all, it’s just medical facts! And she’s right, having children with someone your age will be much more difficult and there could be complications!” Douma asserts confidently.
“The fact that you’re a gynecologist disturbs me,” Kaigaku says. 
“Me too,” Gyutaro adds. 
“Come on guys! It’s not as weird as you think. Why would it be so wrong to date her?”
“For starters, she’s fourteen fucking years younger than me! That’d be creepy right…? I don’t want people thinking I’m a weirdo or a creep,” he frowns, starting to feel like maybe he is a creep for even considering something with you. 
Kaigaku takes a sip of his drink, thinking long and hard about what advice he should give his friend. Especially since Douma is useless. 
“I mean, it’s not that bad,” he shrugs, “At the end of the day you’re both consenting adults. And since when did you care about what other people think of you anyway?”
“You have a point,” Gyutaro replies, “But she should live her life instead of wasting her time with an old guy like me.”
“First of all you aren’t even that old,” Kai rolls his eyes, “And second of all, she’s an adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to be with you, then she wants it for a reason. Maybe she wants a guy who is at a more stable point in his life. Who knows?”
“Exactly, Kai’s right. I see age gaps much larger than this all the time, it’s more common than you think,” Douma adds. 
“And besides, it would only be creepy if you were talking to her when she was a minor,” Kaigaku states, “Like if you’re an adult talking to a minor, then wait till they’re an adult to pursue them romantically it’s a little creepy if you ask me. But you didn’t even know her at all until now. So don’t worry man. You aren’t creepy or weird for liking this girl.”
Gyutaro feels a wave of relief wash over him as he listens to his friend’s explanation. It's the first thing he’s heard that actually made him feel a bit better about the situation. “So, you really think it’s ok for me to pursue her?”
“Hell yeah! Be happy, man. I know you’re not the kind of guy to go after a girl just because she’s young. She sounds like a really nice girl, and I’m happy someone finally sees what a great guy you are.”
“Thanks, Kai,” Gyutaro smiles, “Alright, I guess I’ll go for it.”
Gyutaro feels a newfound confidence overtake him. His friends are right, he shouldn’t be so caught up in the details when the fact of the matter is that a really amazing woman is interested in him for the first time in his life. And he cannot let this opportunity slide, as it may be the last chance he has at happiness. 
“Who knows, maybe she’s one of my patients!” Douma chimes in out of nowhere.
“Shut up, Douma! God, I can’t take you anywhere!” Kai growls. 
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
That night you receive a text from Gyutaro, “Do you want to go to the botanical gardens with me this weekend?”
When you first read the text you had to pinch yourself in case you were dreaming. Why would he say that all of a sudden? Did he suddenly have a change of heart? Or maybe he’s inviting you out just so he can tell you off in person. 
You aren’t sure which one, but you’ve been so stressed over this situation that you’ll do anything to make up with him. So you hastily respond, “Yes! I’d love to :)”
Immediately you regret how eager you sound in the text, thinking that it might make Gyutaro think you're even more childish. But in reality it makes him smile knowing that someone is excited to see him for once.
“Ok. I’ll send you the details,” he responds a minute later.
Is this a date? That’s the only question that keeps replaying in your mind. A date with Gyutaro, your best friend’s older brother. The whole thing feels taboo, but you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel even more excited.
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Taglist: @gyusimp @mistyychann @cherrysxuya @angelicsaiko @hoshigafuru @matsukaah @merryclaus @whisperhug97 @dawn-rays-dingo
(I tagged people who showed interest in my previous posts. If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist just let me know. The next chapter will have smut so if you want to be tagged make sure you have your age listed on your blog ♡)
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takes1 · 2 days
Text
p.2 asahi x feral reader w/ a size k!nk
this is gonna get so fucking good ya'll i love thisss!! it's fun writing this sweet guy be a little dirty lmao
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warnings. nsfw. minors DNI info. nsfw / build-up to more smut / phone sex / mutual masturbation / blue balls / suggestive conversation / gentle giant!asahi / mutual size kink / sweet asahi / long-mid distance issues / kuroo's sister!reader / kuroo cockblocking / kuroo being protective / 2.3k words / multipart series so reply to be added to taglist! haikyuu collection. more hq here! part one here. more links. my ao3. masterlist. requests open!
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Your pencil twirled, tap-tap-tapping against your half-filled page of notes as you searched for the next header to copy for this dreadful, draining history class.
Anything to distract you from the fact that he hadn't called you.
The game was Tuesday- now it was Friday evening, and still, no word from him. Maybe you had something in your teeth when you spoke to him, or you smelled bad, or he just didn't like your hair. You had dedicated hours trying to figure it out.
A phone call was hard evidence he was interested in you. Practically a 'yes' to your fantasies, which had only gotten more unhinged with the hurt of this perceived rejection.
He still remained just a few minutes worth of your real energy on some ordinary day. But God, how you mourned for what could've been. How he would've filled you up, wrecking you with the satisfaction and excitement you yearned for.
buzz buzz. buzz buzz. buzz buzz. buzz buzz.
The sound initially deepened your already lackluster mood, because you learned to be disappointed with every call that wasn't from a Miyagi area code.
You were grateful that your eyes happened to glaze over the screen before you completed the swipe to ignore it.
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A piercing scream of delight filled your entire house through a cracked bedroom door.
Tetsuro's unwanted, grating voice across the hall shattered your elevated state of bliss:
"SHUT UP!"
"YOU SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE!"
You took a deep breath on the fifth ring and, shaking off the nerves by standing up out of your swivel chair, you swiped across the screen to answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey, is this (Y/n)?" A deep, rumbly voice made your knees weak.
"Y-es," Your voice cracked, tummy tingly, "Is this- Asahi?"
His name left your lips so well. You fell onto your back on your bed, pressing your thighs together at the sound of his reply.
"Yeah, that's me."
You hadn't heard his voice before, thinking hard about it now, because he didn't say anything to you in person.
"I thought you wouldn't call," You bit your lip in restraint, but kept the tension in your belly, "Why'd you keep me waiting for so long?"
A grumbly sigh on the other end gave you a full-body shiver. You crossed your legs.
"I was nervous," He admitted.
The giant did have a heart, after all. Curious, you smiled and looked up.
Your face fell.
"Get out of my room!" You shouted at Tetsuro, who was lingering in the doorway.
"How long have you been in here?!"
"I'm not in your room," He tested you by putting a foot inside, and didn't answer your question, instead pressing his own, "Who the hell are you talking to?"
It reminded you: A quick 'Hold on' and what you thought was the mute button--
You scrambled across your bed to the doorway to close it, but he dove out of the way and you ended up shutting him in. You flung it open again.
"Get out!!"
The demon-spawn was making for your phone, so you leaped onto his back and weighed him down to the floor instead.
"It better not be--," He grunted with effort as he shoved you off by the face, "Some country-bumpkin prick!"
There was no contact on the screen, so he couldn't be sure who you were talking to even with your phone in his hand.
"Who is this?" He interrogated, his torso leaning on your bed, his knee on your chest to keep you down.
You punched his leg over, over, and over again. He swatted at you while looking at your phone to figure out why nobody was responding to him.
It gave you the opportunity to push him off while his balance was uneven. You slapped your phone out of his hand and it clattered to the floor.
There was a violent hush over the two of you.
Tetsuro rose of his own accord, dodging a slap, and kicked your phone far under your bed with a grumble.
"Like I'm gonna just let that happen."
The door slammed behind him. You skittered up, opened it, then called after him, "Stay out!!"
You made sure to lock and barricade it this time.
When you leaned down to find your phone, it was impossible to reach with your hands or legs from either side of the bed. That asshole had made sure to kick it just far enough to make you get creative.
You had to tie together a ruler and a clothing hanger to retrieve it, then use your foot to leverage it out.
To your relief, the call was still active. But it wasn't muted.
Heart sunk halfway down your ribcage, you asked a grim question, "How much of that did you hear?"
His chuckle lifted your spirits instantly.
Almost as a conditioned response, you glanced to the door. It was still secure.
"I'm so sorry, my brother is the worst." You grumbled, climbing back into your bed with a sore face, hand, and knee.
Asahi's tone was clear and smooth.
"It sounds like he just wants to keep you out of trouble."
Your body jumpstarted again at that word. You wanted all the trouble he had to offer. You couldn't help but giggle, since his response sounded as if he was referring to himself.
"I know how to handle myself," You grinned, "I'm only a year younger than him."
"He's a senior, isn't he?"
"Mhm."
"So you're a second-year."
"Mhmm," You could listen to him talk all day. Your hand rubbed over your prickled chest, savoring his voice against your ear.
"Good. I feel like less of a creep, now."
In his admission you could hear his lips curl into a smile- your covered your mouth and kicked your legs in the air.
"Don't tell me you thought I was a first-year," You teased with false surprise.
"I-," He sighed, a little labored, and something shifted against the receiver, "Knew it was a possibility."
His standards aside, your interest moved to the extra sound on his end of the line. You prayed it was something risque.
"What else do you wanna know about me?" You stretched your legs up and watched your blank ceiling, biting your lip in wait for his response.
The way he towered over you- his frame was perfect for your fantasies. You imagined him leaning over you now, legs draped over his massive shoulders.
"What made you want to give me your number?"
Another shift, a heavy sigh. You couldn't raise the volume any higher, nor could you hold the phone any closer to your ear to try to hear what he was doing.
In the hopes that he was dirtier than he wanted to let on, you smiled at the freedom to paint his imagination.
"Hmm..." You drawled.
An eager hand dipped between your legs, with one last glance to the door, and you palmed yourself through your shorts while you spoke.
"Your serve really did it for me," As you recalled that last hit, you heard him shift again, "I like your look- y'know, the whole samurai vibe--,"
Asahi laughed a little, making you grin.
"-I think it's really hot."
A pause. "Wait- really?"
"Yeah!" You giggled, "You're a good mix of cute and scary, that's a huge turn-on."
"Wow."
Maybe it was a bit forward of you to say, but so was everything else until this point. Your breath stalled, hoping that was a good wow. It felt so quiet for so long. Everything was still on both sides.
You sat up after a few moments, pulse quickening, and you bit your finger to keep from blurting out another stupid claim. It must've been too much- you were just about to hang up when you heard a quiet, different tone through the speaker.
"What are you wearing right now?"
Mouth open, you made sure to click mute before squealing into your pillow-- when you came up, teary-eyed from the pressure and excitement, you had to catch your breath.
Your voice was slightly hoarse when you unmuted yourself and asked, calmly, "Do you want me to lie to you?"
Thrown in a dumbing whirl of arousal, you went to reach for a vibrator, but realized the sound would probably be too much. You opted for your own fingers instead and tried hard to visualize his heavy hand over yours.
"Shit-," He huffed an uneven sigh, "Go for it."
Did he have any idea how sexy he sounded? You hoped he did- you hoped he knew exactly how to touch you, pleasure you, break you, then put you back together.
Your raised, flirty tone didn't match your answer, "Nothing."
The rumble of his laugh guided your hand to swirl small, soft circles around your clit. Your chest rose and fell a little faster, chasing the budding tightness that was finally coming back to you.
"What are you doing right now?" You couldn't help but ask. It was too tempting to wait around for him to tell you.
"Mm, I'm talkin' to you," He evaded. His smirk was audible through the phone.
His slight regional accent was so perfect. To Hell with city boys, you wanted this big, gruff countryside boy.
He laughed at your whine.
"I wish you weren't so far away," His tone lowered to a bare mutter- it was dripping in lust, but he covered it with a thin veil of wariness.
Your fingers felt so good, but his reminder only made you more sensitive to how you could never fulfill the ache deep inside without him right here, in Tokyo.
You could appreciate how he still kept his cards close. You weren't as patient as him- but upon your inevitable frustration that he wasn't as candid as you, the realization that it was the safer outcome dawned on you. If he wasn't so careful, he might hurt you.
Still, you were riding gentle, pleasant waves while you daydreamed through your response.
"How long would a train ride be?"
He didn't have to tell you how pretty you sounded for you to know. The little raise at the end of your sentence, the tiny waiver in your voice, you knew he liked it.
The quiet seethe on his end confirmed this. He told you without having to look it up, "Hour and a half."
Your pussy practically shut down.
"I could do that," You lied. Your brother would explode if he found out you hopped on a bullet train by yourself to go see some Karasuno boy- and he would. He always did.
Another low laugh. It fixed everything. You threw your head back again, fingers in your mouth so your fingers could slide a little better.
"Don't sound so disappointed," He cooed, "Me and the guys are gonna be in town for the weekend- and I was just thinkin'--,"
"Oh my god, yes. Whatever you're about to say, yes."
His distant 'Damn' away from the phone made you blush. You stopped touching yourself, just for the time being.
"There's just one problem."
You waited for the reveal without responding, then realized he wanted you to ask him.
"What?" You giggled at the weird pause.
His laugh was faint through the rest of his point, "Your brother."
You squinted at your ceiling again with a grumpy sigh. He was right. In fact, you were sure he didn't know the extent of how right he was. Your family was on Life360, and he had your location at all times.
If you turned your phone off, or deleted the app, or put it on 'battery saving-mode' he'd know, and it would be more ground to question you on.
It wasn't the tattling that bothered you, it was his nosiness in the first place.
The last time you snuck out to go see a boy further in the city, he followed you and ruined your movie date by kicking the back of his chair for half of the film. He drove you home and grilled you the entire way back.
"Fuck," You sighed, sitting up with a bit of a tummy-ache from your abandoned orgasm, "Yeah."
It sounded like he was moving again, but he was less flirty, and it made you think he maybe put his dick back up to think better.
"He actually called our team captain, Daichi. We were uh, still on the way back from the game. On the bus. And he put it on speaker."
Your jaw dropped again.
"Said he'd- ha-ha, he said he'd castrate anyone who touched you."
An annoyed sound left you.
"Don't tell me you believe that," You laughed pitifully.
Part of you believed it, so you wouldn't blame him if he did. That same days-long disappointment was creeping back.
Asahi considered his answer. He landed on, "I think... ah, I don't know. I think being cautious is smart."
You nodded slowly, but he couldn't see.
"I still wanna see ya," He added.
You grinned, relieved, and a little aroused again at his drawl, "Good."
It still left the obvious problem. You deliberated on what you could do. A glance to the locked door gave you one idea. Another glance to the window elaborated on it.
How could you see him, not leave the house, and have your brother not know at the same time?
Your question was slow as you slid off of your mattress and started to test the reliability of your window frame.
"How good are you at climbing?"
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taglist.
thank ya'll for supporting this!!! i love this series it's so fun to write so i'm glad other people do too!! reply to be added to existing list :)
@valiantqueengarden @rinheartshyunlix @alpha-mommy69 @yuyunhoo @insertamazingnamehere @kreishin
masterlist.
requests. (including what you might want to see in the next 2 parts)
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neverinadream · 20 hours
Text
The Summer Of '24
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Summary: Enola Hughes skips out on the lake house for a European summer. But even being on another continent won't stop her brothers messing with her.
Paring: Nico Hischier x Enola Hughes (Fem!OC)
Requested: Nope
Song Pick: Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves
Warnings: smau, enola is the oldest (26 yrs old), brother's friend trope, crude-ish language, secret relationship, soft launch, that should be it...
Notes: i'm not normally one for doing ocs, i just always leave them as y/n, but very little encouragement from a friend i decided on naming her. this was all thrown together quickly and i did get carried away a little bit but i hope you like it. feedback is always appreciated
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enolahughes (📍 greece)
liked by mollygrayson, trevorzegras, lhughes_06 & 32,479 others
enolahughes: one destination down, two more to go ✈️
tagged: billie_xo, mollygrayson
view all comments
_quinnhughes: pipsqueak?! 😳
user468: everyone's seeing no. 6 right???
user289: her brothers are going to love that 🤭
>liked by enolahughes<
lhughes_06: answer your phone
enolahughes: nope! whatever jack has done you can sort out yourselves like the adults you're meant to be
user368: i don't think jack did anything 🤭
>liked by enolahughes<
user429: a soft launch???
billie_xo: living out that mamma mia fantasy
mollygrayson: enola & loverboy = sophie & sky 🥰
billie_xo: i'm definitely tanya
lhughes_06: does that make me pepper?
billie_xo: then in the words of tanya, little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned
colecaufield: guys it's me
trevorzegras: you wish 💀
colecaufield: she still likes me more than you
trevorzegras: yeah but only in your dreams
user391: but who is he???
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enolahughes added to her story
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enolahughes (📍 france)
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liked by nicohischier, lhughes_06, billie_xo & 29,380 others
enolahughes: we lost molly but bonjour paris! 🥖
tagged: billie_xo
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billie_xo: i know whose baguette enola wants to see 👀
lhughes_06: and whose do you want to see?
billie_xo: can someone please come collect their child?
lhughes_06: i'm a man 😳
mollygrayson: you make it sound like i died 😭
enolahughes: we miss you every day 😭💔
billie_xo: please come back 🙏 i can't be the third wheel anymore
colecaufield: are you french? because eiffel for you
>liked by enolahughes<
trevorzegras: jack's going crazy 😂
jackhughes: just tell us who he is
enolahughes: i'm sorry, the number you have dialled is no longer available...
user378: it's definitely nico
user589: how you can you tell? 🤨
user378: a fan account posted about him being spotted in paris and enola is in paris
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enolahughes (📍 switzerland)
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liked by nicohischier, mollygrayson, user379 & 39,389 others
enolahughes: and then there was just you and me 🥰
tagged: nicohischier
view all comments
lhughes_06: i'm not mad about this
jackhughes: then it's a good thing you don't speak for the three of us 😠
_quinnhughes: good luck nico 🫡
user378: called it!!
user861: incoming bf!nico content 🙏
mollygrayson: do you know how hard it has been keeping this a secret?!!?!
enolahughes: i feel like a proud mom 🥹
>liked by mollygrayson<
user193: enola is living that brother's best friend fantasy
nicohischier: ❤️
jackhughes: dude! wtf?! my sister?!
nicohischier: the heart wants what the heart wants 🤷🏻‍♂️
jackhughes: but my sister?!
trevorzegras: can you blame him? your sister is hot bro!
>liked by enolahughes<
tmeier96: first day back is going to be interesting
jesperbratt: luke needs to make sure we have captain left by then
enolahughes: luke's confiscated his passport and hidden his car keys
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NHL Taglist: @thoseboysinblue @chilwellspulisic @lovelynikol16 @love4lando @hischierswhore
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Text
𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
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summary: there's nothing quite like being pampered by your partner after coming home from a fight... at least in childe's eyes
pairing: childe x gn! reader
warnings: fluff, a smidge angsty towards the end, mentions of fighting/ wounds; just a scene i had to exorcise from my brain since i'm ridiculously down bad; this is either a modern au or a 'teyvat has blow-dryers now' au, pick whichever one you fancy
genshin masterlist
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“Watch it,” you threatened, though your voice lacked any sort of real bite. How could you be truly mad when Childe was grinning up at you, all boyish and playful, a strand of his wet bangs stubbornly falling back into his ocean-hued eyes?
“I wouldn’t have to if you just joined me,” the ginger hummed with no remorse, wet fingers dancing along the hem of your already soaked shirt, itching the creep under it. No doubt, he had already thought about just pulling you into the bathtub with him. “Or you could just take off your clothes if you’re so worried about them getting wet.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s the only reason you’re proposing that, huh?” You cocked your eyebrow at him, gently sweeping his hair back again. Even after you shampooed and conditioned it, it was as unruly and wilful as the guy it was attached to. “No ulterior motives whatsoever, I presume.”
“No ulterior motives whatsoever,” Childe echoed, though his voice carried the same mischief as it did right before he splashed the first wave of water over you. “I’m just looking out for you, darling.”
“The only thing you’re looking out for are your best interests,” you snorted, grabbing the body wash and sponge, motioning for him to turn around. “Now sit still, you literal child. I don’t want to accidentally reopen the wounds I spent so long dressing.”
“You got it,” the ginger laughed, clearly not as concerned with the deep scratches littering his back. Though you really didn’t want to meet whatever had caused them, Childe had excitedly told you all about his scuffles as he came home, still high on adrenaline as you ushered him into the bathroom and peeling off his many layers of clothing.
You shook your head, dispelling the thoughts that started clouding your mind. It was a conversation you have had plenty of times before. Instead you concentrated on the way his lithe muscles flexed and relaxed under your touch, his skin as always pleasantly warm and smooth despite the faded scars littering it. You knew the origins of most, having spent many nights tracing them as you listened to the stories behind them. Sure, some were from thrilling battles, but there were also smaller, odd ones like the one where Teucer accidentally nicked him as he taught his younger brother how to prepare a fish they caught together.
When you were certain your boyfriend was all clean again, you got some fluffy towels as he clambered out of the tub, purposefully not meeting his smug expression as he caught you eyeing the water droplets running down the dibs of his abs. You were also sure there was no need for his arms to flex as much as they did as he towelled his hair dry, leaving the white fabric to rest around his neck. 
Though there was a shirt set out next to his sweatpants, he forewent it completely and you sighed as you followed him out of the bathroom with the blow-dryer in hand. Idly, Childe sauntered over to the bed, sitting down with his back to the frame waiting for you to take your place behind him like you always did.
Gingerly, you rested your legs over his shoulders, feeling his calloused palms wrap around them, his fingers tracing random shapes into your thighs and calves as his bare body radiated heat. Watching the stream of hot air tussle his fluffy strands, your thoughts couldn’t help but circle back to the bloodied wounds on his back. None of them were too deep this time, but…
There was a tap against your calf.
“What are you thinking about?” Of course, Childe would pick up on your dip in mood; he always could. He could probably also guess the direction your thoughts had turned, it wasn’t an uncommon point of discussion. “And you’d better not say it’s nothing.”
“I know I tell you all the time and you always tell me not to worry. And I do have more faith in you than anyone else, but can you be at least a little more careful?” In that moment you were glad your boyfriend was turned away from you, certain your voice would shake even more if you were to look into his eyes right now. 
Running your fingers through his soft hair, you busied yourself with parting the sections to resemble a somewhat orderly hairstyle in order to keep your hands from trembling. Still, Childe easily caught your wrists, sliding his fingers between yours as he twisted to face you.
“You really do worry too much. I’m fine, right? See, everything still attached and working,” Childe smiled, drumming his fingers across your knuckles.
“Yeah but what if something happens? Something that is outside of your control and you don’t—“ You cut yourself off, not daring to speak your worst fear into existence. It would make it seem so much realer. “Just… Ajax, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you, if the other side of the bed was cold—“
“Hey now, none of that,” Childe soothed, reaching up to smooth out the crease of your brows. “You’ll never have to go to sleep alone or wake up to an empty bed. I’ll always come back home to you, I promise. Nothing could keep me away from you.”
The heat of his kisses spread from your knuckles all the way up to your heart, warming you from the inside out as his words soothed your frayed nerves. The logical part of your brain knew he couldn’t actually prevent all bad turns of events from happening but you willed those thoughts away. 
As you curled up under the blanket with him that night, his arm draped securely over your waist to pull you close to him and into his safe embrace, you reminded yourself Ajax had never broken his promises before. So, as the moon bore witness to his vow sealed with more kisses, you decided to believe him.
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if you like my content, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated (also, yes, there will be second parts for the characters) ♡
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