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#like what the fuck that would never happen now
norrisleclercf1 · 23 hours
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(inspired by the discord meltdown 2k24 pt1) would you please be so kind to share with us devious reader baby trapping Mafia!Carlos but only for it to backfire because Carlos is like a man possessed once he sees that tiny bump grow
A/N: I'm backkkkkk with Dark!Reader and Dark/Mafia!Carlos
Warning: Baby trapping
Carlos groans as he slides out of you, your legs shake, as Carlos leans over you, smirking at you. "Look how pretty you are," Carlos groans.
You whine, feeling his cum leak out of you, his fingers shoving it back in, licking his lips. "Carlos,' You whine, unable to take anymore. Your body covered with his marks and proof that you belong to him. "Shhh, you're okay baby girl." Carlos chuckles placing soft kisses on your hips as he pulls his fingers out.
"Do you want a shower?" He asks, and you know what's going to happen next. He's going to dot on you, fill you with food, and then kick you to the curb, but not this time, you refuse to let him walk away from you. He might belong to Carlos, be he never saw himself as yours, will that was going to change.
"Bath?" You make your eyes big and pout, which has him roll his eyes but he agrees. His head pops out and you see the way his eyes narrow, "You took your birth control, right?" You blink and nod your head looking the perfect picture of innocence. "Show me," You roll your eyes, of course in your head.
If you did it outwardly, he'd throw you over his lap and your ass would be bleeding from the spankings. Pulling out your packet, you show him the correct missing pills, but unknown to him, it hasn't been you swallowing the pills, but the toilet. Your little secret. "Good girl," Kissing the top of your head, in all his naked glory heads back into the bathroom. Yeah, he was going to be yours.
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"Two glasses of red wine, the best," Carlos waves his hand but you stop the waiter. "Actually, glass of lemon water please, and please make sure none of my dishes have alcohol in them." You smile sweetly, the young waiter blushing and rushes off, as Carlos looks you over.
"Why the no wine?" To anyone, it'd be an innocent question, but with the way Carlos was holding the menu you knew he was furious at you taking charge, normally you let him order for you. "It's bad for the baby, or so the doctor said," You drop the news casually, raking your eyes over the menu. Glass shattering, as you tense, slowly looking up Carlos holds a murderous fire in his eyes that has you shrinking in size.
"Baby? Who else have you been fucking," He spits, and suddenly feeling dirty you place the menu down and stand up. "It's yours, I've only been sleeping with you, since the beginning," Carlos's eyes are wide as he stands on shaking legs, "What," You sniffle and wipe your eyes. "Find me when you grow up," Turning you smile a little to yourself feeling proud. Yes, Carlos was going to yours.
-------------------
It was driving you insane.
It was finally warm enough to be at his pool, and Carlos was in his office but you knew he wasn't doing the work that he needed to be doing. Wearing a bikini you were enjoying the sun, your bump finally showing and ever since he noticed it, he hasn't stopped staring.
Looking up you see Carlos, who quickly turns around and you smirk. Standing you make your way to the kitchen, as a craving for some fresh fruit was your current fixation. Carlos picked that up and the staff made sure the best of the best was there for you.
Moaning as you bite into a peach you turn almost screaming as Carlos leans against the door frame smirking. "God, you look amazing," Blushing under the complement you look away, biting into the peach. "You're lucky I enjoy seeing you pregnant with my child, if it was anyone else, I would've tossed them to the side. You look so gorgeous in fact, I'll forgive you for doing this on purpose.
Eyes growing wide you open your mouth, but close it as he was standing in front of your face now. "Look at you, so gorgeous and filled with my child, I'll have to keep you like this forever," Freezing, Carlos leans down and takes a bite out of your peach and smirk. "Sweet," He whispers before kissing you gently and placing a soft hand on your bump. "Hmm, always so sweet," Carlos pulls away and dissapears into the shadows of the house.
"Oh, I'm fucked."
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starkeyisthelastname · 17 hours
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the funniest thing would be mean!rafe trying to comfort crybaby!reader like he wouldn’t know what to do 🤣
at the beginning of the relationship he definitely didn't know what to do 😂
He had been downstairs waiting for you to finish getting ready so that the two of you could go to dinner. He leaned against the kitchen island, scrolling through his phone boredly as he hoped you would be prancing down soon.
That was until he heard a frustrated yell, some things crashing, and a cry after. He quickly ran up the stairs and towards the bedroom, where he saw the closet door open. He walked over, eyebrow twitching upwards as he saw you on the floor, expensive purses now surrounding you and shelf fallen.
“What the hell happened?” He asked, watching as your lower lip continued to wobble. He wasn’t sure how to deal with this, never having seen you throw a fit like this. His first instinct was to wrap his hand around your throat to get you to shut the fuck up.
You looked at your fresh sparkly baby pink nail that was now broken, ruining all your plans for the rest of the evening. You couldn't go out to dinner with a broken nail, especially not since your set was freshly done. All because you wanted that stupid bag you couldn't reach because you were too short.
“I.. I was trying to reach my Louis bag you just got me because matched my outfit.. a-and.” You cried out, words jumbled together as if you had forgotten how to speak.
Rafe’s jaw tensed as he heard you ramble on, his patience already running thin. He put his hand out to stop you, quickly hearing your words turn into small hiccups. “Get to the fucking point.” He said.
You sniffed, holding up your broken nail for him to see. “The shelf fell on the edge of my nail and it broke. I can't go to dinner now because my nails look ugly now.” You cried again, tears staining your foundation covered cheeks.
Rafe had never been in a relationship where he actually took it seriously and if any girl had ever acted this way before in front of him over a broken fuckin nail, he would have told them to get the fuck out. You his were girl though and he had barely admitted to himself out loud that he had fallen for you hard. He was becoming the man his father had always wanted him to be and he needed to learn to deal with you the right way.
“Hey, enough. Alright?” He said, kneeling down to look at you. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but you made that easy for him as you wiped your face into his chest. “Okay, come on. Don’t do that shit.” He said with a sigh as the expensive dress shirt he was wearing was now covered in your makeup.
You just sniffled, not saying anything as you held onto him in hopes he’d make it better. Rafe just looked at you, shaking his head as he was assumed how this was all over a nail. He couldn’t help but wrap his arms around you though, something in him telling him he had to fix it.
“Fuckin brat.” He mumbled.
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bahablastplz · 2 days
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Cosmic Love: Chan x Reader x Felix
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A night at the club turns into a lot more than you anticipated, all thanks to a stupid text that you don't even remember sending. The next day, Chan and Felix invite you over for dinner. That's all it is, right? Content: Smut, minor angst, fluff Warnings: Use of petnames 'love,' and 'babygirl,' threesome, fingering, oral (f! and m! receiving), p in v sex, lots of praise, spanking (barely), humiliation/second hand embarrassment WC: 4700
It starts like this: 
Chan texts you the morning after you go to the club. Of course, you’re hungover out of your mind, but that’s to be expected. On Saturday morning, or afternoon you suppose, you roll out of bed with a loud groan, a pulsing headache making its way behind your eyes. 
You notice that your makeup has been removed and you’re now sporting clothes much comfier than your dress and heels that were suffocating you last night at the club. Your phone is also plugged in, and you have been notorious for waking up with a dead phone the morning after waking up from a night out. 
You have half the mind to wonder, how the hell were you cognizant enough last night to do all of this? You certainly don’t remember it. It all makes sense when you check your notifications, screen a little too bright for your liking, and see that Chan had texted you an hour ago. 
Channie: Hey babygirl  I don’t know if you remember, but Felix and I brought you home last night~  You were pretty fucked up haha  If you’re feeling up to it, you want to join us for dinner tonight at my place?  Me you and Lix  Hope you’re feeling okay this morning. Let us know if you need anything, yeah? 
You groan. Of course Chan and Felix brought you home last night, that makes so much more sense. Chan has always been a natural caretaker, and if he was at the club last night and you tried to go home with some random guy or even take an Uber, he surely would have become overprotective and offered to take you home himself. 
Your heart pangs when you read the text again. Babygirl. The pet name makes it easy to remember the major crush you’ve been harboring for him for forever. Him and Felix both, honestly. You really really hope you didn’t say anything embarrassing last night that you can’t remember. That would be just your luck, honestly. Taking a deep breath, you make a note to take some Advil as you text him back. 
Y/N: Thanks so much  I’ll be there! Can’t wait 
He texts you back almost instantly: 
Channie:  Sick  We’re super excited 
A red flag should have raised over the fact that, though him and Felix were your closest friends, they almost never invited you over to their place. They almost always come over to yours when you hang out, and hangouts usually happen more organically. You brush the thought aside, chalking it up to Chan’s protective nature and need to make sure you’re okay after what was likely a rough night out. 
That’s all it is, right? 
You’re only giddy because of this stupid crush on your friends you can’t quite push away. There’s not anything more going on and there’s no lines to read between. You repeat this like a mantra as you get ready tonight, putting on just a little bit of makeup (for no reason in particular!!!), and repeat it once more as you knock on Chan’s door, bottle of wine in hand. 
He opens the door with a large smile, all teeth, that makes your heart beat a little faster. When you hand him the bottle of wine you’re met with a hearty laugh. “You sure you didn’t have enough of this last night?” he teases. You shove his chest lightly, giving him a devilish grin.
“What if I brought it for you?” You quip back. 
“I think we were imagining a type of fun that didn’t involve alcohol.” You give him a smile at his words, brows furrowing for a second before brushing off his words. He probably just means they intend to stay sober tonight. You’ve had plenty of nights that were fun that didn’t involve alcohol, so that’s all he meant by his words! Shrugging, you put the wine in the fridge instead of cracking it open, taking his advice to save the drink for another day. 
Dinner is amazing. Chan made it with Felix’s observation, as according to Chan the other shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen ever again. You laugh as he dives into several stories of baking incidents gone wrong, including a time that Felix and Seungmin ended up burning everything they made. You defend your friend, telling Chan that Felix ‘does make killer brownies,’ which the other can’t argue with. It’s decided that Felix should do most of his cooking alone, as anytime he cooks with anybody else it ends up in a minor disaster. Felix looks thoroughly flushed and embarrassed by the end of your conversation so the two of you relent on your teasing. 
You decide on a movie. It’s not even really that entertaining and you’re barely paying attention if you’re being honest. It’s some movie you’d seen a hundred times before. You find your place between Chan and Felix, your body squished between your two friends. You nuzzle your head into Chan’s shoulder and prop your legs up onto Felix. You’re comfortable, very much so, though you tense for a second when you feel Felix’s hand rest on your thigh. You can also feel Chan’s breath on your neck, and you suddenly feel hot. Very hot. 
You hope they can’t feel how warm to the touch you’ve become, and at such a simple action at that. Are you really that pathetic? God, your crush on them has gotten out of hand, you think, but when Felix’s hand raises further up your thigh and starts rubbing teasing circles you’re not so sure this is all in your head anymore. Chan has always been touchy with you and Felix moreso, but this is just a little bit out of character for them. You’re worried to speak up for a second, scared that your words would make Felix retract his hand. When he looks up at you with an inquisitorial gaze, however, you can’t help the words that spill from your mouth. “Lix–” 
You’re not prepared for the words that come from the man behind you. 
“Tell me, Y/N,” Chan says lowly. “Do you want me to fuck you nice and hard?” He punctuates his words and your body physically tenses. Your world has come to a full stop. 
“What?” 
“Do you want me to–” 
“I… I heard you,” you interrupt. “I’m just… I’m not quite sure what you mean.” You feel afraid to look up at Chan from behind you, and you certainly don’t look at Felix; though his hand has stilled, it still rests firmly on your thigh. 
“I don’t know if you remember this,” Chan says. His demeanor has changed, and you’re met with a chuckle and a deep breath. He seems very shy compared to the man just seconds ago speaking into your ear. “Last night when you were at the club, you texted me and Lix in a group chat.” 
Fuck. 
That makes so much more sense, you think. No way would you have gotten that fucked up without doing something you would regret. You reach for your phone but a hand rests on top of yours, stilling your movement. 
“No, it’s okay,” he says in response to your panic. “I already have it pulled up. I was thinking I could read it to you.” 
“Chan, I’m sorry, I’m sure I didn’t–” 
He shushes you. For some reason sparks shoot up your spine at the action. You purse your lips shut, an action that implies your silence and you wait for him to continue. 
“Last night you were dancing with us,” he starts. “You were drunk out of your mind. I think you knew that already. But you texted Lix and I, and we could just tell you had enough to drink so we offered to take you home. But while we were in the car,” he laughs lightly. You don’t feel like laughing back, “While we were in the car, you texted us. It wasn’t meant for us, but you told us some things that you wanted us to, um, do to you.” 
“That’s not the worst part,” Felix provides unhelpfully. You glare at the man and he smiles sweetly. “Chris’ phone was connected to bluetooth and it read your texts out loud in the car.” 
You groan. Thank God you were drunk enough last night to not remember that because you’re not sure you can even relive the memory. In fact, even now you wish for the world to split open and swallow you whole. 
“Emmaaaaa,” Chan starts, reading your texts out loud in a voice that is obviously meant to resemble your own. You realize now that the text was meant for your best friend, the one that you use to hopelessly rant to about your strong unrequited crush for the two boys in question. 
“God they’re so finee  I want Channie and Lixie so bad fr  I just want them to ruin me  You know I’ve never been fucked right but I want Chan to just fuck me nice and hard ughhshh  I know you’re so tired of hearing me talk about this  But he’s so perfect I just know he could fuck me up sooo good  And Felix? I just want him to whisper filthy things in my ears With his perfect voice  He looks like such an angel I just want to see what he’s really like, if he’ll fuck me soft or nice and hard like Channie  I need them both to ruin me!!!! You don’t understand If I don’t get someone’s cock in my mouth–” 
“Oh my god that’s enough,” you interrupt. You’re not sure you can listen to another second of past-you embarrassing yourself, and you tell him as much when you shoot out of his grasp and turn around to look at him. He has a sly fucking grin on his mouth and you can’t help but feel like you’re the butt of a joke you didn’t ask to be a part of. “I… I can’t listen to you embarrass me anymore. I’m so sorry about what I said and I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Hell, you know I don’t even remember it, and I know that really doesn’t excuse it but I hope you know I never wanted to ruin our friendship. I know you guys don’t feel the same way so if you want, I can go and–” 
Chan puts his hands around your shoulders, halting your movements when you try to stand. 
“Woah woah woah, babygirl,” he says, trying to interrupt your sad attempt at salvaging your relationship. “It’s not what you think, actually. You could never ruin your friendship with us, okay?” You feel tears prick at your eyes, truly humiliated with how the night has progressed. Even now, Chan is here trying to be nice to you so you won’t feel bad about what happened which is somehow even more humiliating. 
“Did you really mean what you said?” Felix says, finally. 
“Can I even take it back now?” you say, laughing sardonically. “You know, drunk actions are sober thoughts, or whatever they say? I’m so sorry, again. Like I said, if you want me to leave I can.” Your eyes flit between Felix and Chan, gauging for a reaction, any sense that they may be uncomfortable with your actions. You’re surprised to find none. 
“If you really meant it,” Chan says, inhaling through his teeth and clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “Then we kind of had a proposal for you.” 
“What kind of proposal?” you ask suspiciously. 
“The kind where maybe we have sex? All three of us,” he suggests. 
What. 
What?
“What!?” Your brain supplies the only word it can think of. This is a joke, right? Your feelings that have been unrequited for so long are being reciprocated this casually? You stare blankly at the two men who are waiting for some sort of response. 
“I… I’m not sure if I can,” you answer finally. Though everything in your body is telling you yes yes yes, the arousal already pooling in between your legs, your brain finally seems to be the one in the forefront making the decisions. “I can’t do that, have ‘just sex’ with you. Either of you. And maybe I’m about to make a fool of myself even more tonight, but I have to admit that my feelings for you both run a lot deeper than just… sexual.” You let out a heavy sigh when you finally admit the truth. “I’m scared that I won’t be able to detach my emotions from it all, and I really don’t want to ruin what we have going on.” 
You’re met with silence and you open your eyes but don’t look at either of them, instead opting to look at the floor. Did Chan get a new carpet? It looks really nice–
“I don’t think it would be ‘just sex,’ babygirl.” Chan and that goddamned pet name that makes your heart flutter. “We’ve, uh, both liked you for a very long time. And we want this to go further, if you’re interested of course.” 
For the second time in one night, you feel as if the world has tilted on its axis. Maybe it has, because you feel a little bit dizzier now and your heart beats a little bit faster than it did just seconds ago. 
“Are you sure?” you ask, worrying your lip between your teeth. Felix takes his thumb and pulls your lip out from between your teeth, his thumb lingering for a second before pushing into your mouth. Your eyes close and your tongue swirls around the appendage. 
“Do you want this, love?” The deep timbre of his voice sends shivers down your spine and your eyes open, meeting his gaze. For a second, it feels as if nothing but you and Felix exist in this entire world, and you ponder his words for a second. If they really mean it and they have both liked you for a while now, you don’t have to worry about separating feelings from sex. You ponder what this means for your relationships going forward for a second but the pulsing need between your legs and the way your breath hitches when his thumb pushes further into your mouth tells you all you need to know. You want this. You nod your head and know it’s the right choice when you’re met with a reassuring smile. 
“If you’re sure, then we’re sure,” Chan says from beside you. You feel his fingers on your leg, veiny hands rubbing small circles on the expanse of your thigh. When he grips the plush of your thigh hard you can’t help the gasp that comes from your mouth, and Felix’s thumb releases from your mouth, wet with your saliva. You feel his hand come to rest on your face as he caresses you softly, brushing a stray hair away from your face as he leans in to kiss you. 
You breathe into the kiss but let him take the lead, soft and plush lips delicate against your own. When his tongue barely brushes your bottom lip you’re already opening your mouth for him eagerly, letting his tongue come into contact with yours. The kiss is passionate but almost too romantic for what you’re about to let him do to you. When you moan into the kiss he deepens it, hands pulling your face even closer to his own. 
You note the movement on the couch next to you and Chan taps your shoulder. When you turn your head to look at him he’s crashing his lips into yours in a bruising kiss, messy and desperate and it catches you off guard but you return his advances eagerly, lips and tongue moving expertly against one anothers. 
Felix’s hand comes and snakes around your waist, stopping your kiss just long enough to lift your shirt over your head. His warm breath hits your neck and it’s all you can focus on besides Chan’s wet tongue against yours, but then Felix’s fingers rub your nipples over the fabric of your bra and you’re keening backwards into his touch, running away while simultaneously trying to get more at the same time. 
When Chan finally breaks the kiss it’s with a groan and a long string of saliva connects you, wet and dirty. He sits back and admires the work that Felix is doing, having you come completely undone for him with just his fingers against your still clothed breasts. It’s Chan that reaches and unclasps your bra, leaving you utterly exposed in front of the two men in front of you and he wastes no time before joining Felix in his ministrations. 
The teasing becomes too much, tongue and teeth and pinching over your abused breasts, and at this point you’re not sure how much more squeezing of your thighs together you can do before it comes to much. 
“Please,” you breathe, and you’re not even quite sure what you’re asking for. 
“Please what, babygirl?” Chan coos at you, words laced with a teasing lilt. You reach forward and grab his hand and it’s like your breath stops when you place his hand right between your legs where you need him the most. “Want me to touch you?” He asks. His breathing is heavy and you admire his attempt at trying to keep his composure. 
“Yes, please,” you nod, eyes never leaving his. Not even when his hand cups your clothed pussy and you buck up into him with a cry. Felix shifts from behind you and pulls your back into his chest as Chan reaches down to pull down your shorts with one swift motion. 
You’re completely bare for them now, and you have little time to dwell on this fact before Felix grabs your legs and spreads them open, hooking them over his own. His hands rest on your thighs, holding you into place and giving Chan access to your sopping core. 
“God, babygirl you’re soaked,” Chan notes, two fingers swiping in between your folds. You can hear it, the wetness pooled between your legs, but when he leans his face forward and meets his tongue with your clit you can’t help the surprise that creeps from your throat. 
He’s relentless, his tongue flicking and circling your clit mercilessly. Your legs shake and try to close but are held open by Felix’s own. 
You look up at the man behind you with teary eyes and open mouth, thinking about asking him to give you mercy but the expression on his face tells you all you need to know. He’s enjoying this just as much as Chan is. 
“Does that feel good?” he asks into your ear. 
“Yes, oh my god,” you tell him as his lips come down to meet yours in a short peck. They ultimately land on your neck, nipping at the junction between your neck and ear. 
“Tell me how good,” he instructs. “Tell me how good he’s making you feel.” 
“So good, Felix, oh,” you moan. Two of Chan’s fingers thrust into you, in motion with the way that his tongue abuses your clit and it’s already too much. “God, Felix, he’s making me feel so good. He’s… He’s eating me out so good, his tongue feels…oh my–” you know you’re babbling but you can’t help the moan that interrupts your words. Felix shushes you, and you think his hands are going to find place in your hair to soothe you but instead they make way to your breasts, still sensitive from just minutes prior. 
His thumb and pointer finger pinch your nipples between his fingers, tugging and twisting them. Your back arches at his touch and your skin prickles at his low voice in your ear. 
“You’re doing so, so good for us, love. Fuck, you’re being so good letting Channie eat your pussy like that,” he says. One hand comes to grab the flesh at your hip, kneading it as he continues to tease your pebbled nipple between his fingers. “Do you like being good for us?” 
“Yes, fuck, fuck, I like being good for you,” you cry out. “Love it so much, oh my god–” and as Chan’s fingers curl up inside of you, you find your orgasm being ripped out of you with no warning. You’re cumming hard around his fingers, pulsing tightly as he lets you ride out your high on his face. Behind you Felix takes to setting a slow pace in rubbing his hands up and down your body, grounding you with his touch as he whispers praises in your ears. 
When you finally open your eyes again, you truly feel like you have woken up in a different dimension. 
“Holy fuck–” you rasp, noting when Felix wipes a tear from your eyes you hadn’t realized you had shed. 
“Do you think you can take us, babygirl?” Chan asks as he pulls his fingers from your center. He reaches across your body to offer his soaking fingers to Felix, who eagerly takes them in his mouth for the chance to taste you. You don’t miss the way he moans around Chan’s fingers. 
“Yes,” you say softly. “Want you both.” 
Felix reaches down and kisses you, much more comfortable this time with the way that he allows himself to be rougher with you, pushing his tongue into your mouth with a boldness that was lacking earlier. When you pull apart you notice the large hands on your waist that aren’t his and you’re being flipped around by Chan before you can process it. Your ass is up in the air and you’re on all fours now, squeaking when Chan lands a quick hit to your ass and kneads the flesh. 
When you tilt your head up to look at Felix you notice him pulling his pants and boxers down past his thighs, letting his cock spring free and resting at your face. He taps it against your cheek and he looks down at you, silently checking to make sure  you’re okay. Looking up at him with bright wide eyes you blink, asking him for permission as you open your mouth wide for him. 
He pushes in with a groan, letting his cock rest on your tongue for a second. You suckle on his tip and let your tongue swirl around his head, watching how reactive he is with amusement. Even though you haven’t fully started sucking him off yet he is breathy, eyes dark in the way he looks at you and strokes your hair. 
He pushes his length further into your mouth and you groan, taking him fully. He sets the pace, slow and languid, pulling his cock fully out of your mouth before shoving it back in with expertise. 
You barely register the hands behind you that grab your ass until you feel Chan’s tip prodding at your entrance, barely pushing inside you. You let out a shaky breath around Felix and Chan takes that as a sign to push into you fully. 
The stretch is welcoming. Your jaw goes slack as you take a moment to process the protrusion, clenching tightly around him as he stills. Felix uses your mouth now, setting the rhythm for the man behind you as well. Relaxing, you let yourself be used by both of the men. You feel Chan’s thighs smack the back of yours, wet and messy and relentless. This causes you to jerk forward, pushing you back and forth onto Felix’s cock. Chan’s hands press into your hips, desperate and harsh and sure to leave bruises in its wake.
“God, love, your mouth,” Felix moans. His hand in your hair is soft in its caresses, contradictory from the way his hips snap into your face ruthlessly. “You’re doing so fucking good for us, baby. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For Chan to fuck you nice and hard, yeah? For me to whisper filthy things in your ear?” 
You do what you can to nod your head, though it’s pathetic with the way your mouth is full of him. You know you look utterly debauched, absolutely used from the two men you’ve found yourself in between. The mascara you applied before is running down your face along with tears of pleasure, and you find yourself continuously blinking them away to look up at Felix. Your hands find place on the bed beside you, fingers curling into the sheets. You’re close, incredibly so, and you know it’s not much longer until you come over the edge. 
Felix lets out a low groan and you feel his cock twitch in your mouth. With a sharp grasp on your hair he spills into your mouth, right down your throat in hot spurts. You swallow around him thickly and he pulls out, wiping a bit of spit off of your mouth with his thumb. 
You fall forward into Felix’s lap, arching your back in order to give Chan full access to your dripping hole. He takes full advantage of it, fucking into you with reckless abandon. Now that your mouth is free, you have full opportunity to speak–though, the only thing that comes out of your mouth now are loud moans and broken, choked sobs. 
“Chan, fuck, oh my, I’m gonna cum, fuck I’m gonna come–” you babble. 
“Sweet girl, is he fucking you stupid?” Felix asks, wrapping his arms around you and making you look into his eyes. When you meet his gaze you nod your head sporadically. 
Chan grunts from behind you, his hips starting to stutter. “Fuck, Lix. I’m close,” he warns. “Touch her pretty clit for me, make her cum for us.” Felix does as instructed, snaking his hand down to where Chan pushes in and out between your bodies. “So good, love. Cum for us,” he says into your ear. 
His fingers barely brush your clit when you’re cumming hard around Chan’s cock, squeezing around his length hard. He rocks his hips into yours, helping you ride out your release before he pulls out and cums all over your ass. You’re whining and clutching onto Felix, though you don’t realize it; his hand runs small circles onto your back. When he looks down at you it’s as if you hung the stars, gaze so full of adoration that your heart batters against your chest in response loud enough that he very well might hear it. 
Somewhere behind you, Chan leaves and then returns with something to clean you up. You only know this when you feel the soft material on your back and you let out a grunt of appreciation. Chan sits next to you now, spooning you from the side where you lay across Felix’s body. 
“Are you okay?” Chan speaks softly. 
You scoff. “I just fucked the two people I’ve been in love with for years. You think I’m not okay?” 
“Love. You love us?” Felix asks. 
You laugh. You can’t help it, because how the fuck do you keep on embarrasing yourself like this? It’s as if they can read your mind, because before you can backtrack or word-vomit they’re already speaking. 
“I don’t know if I made this clear,” Chan starts. “But my feelings for you, they’re strong. I love you too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 
“Same here, love. We’ve wanted this for forever. If you’ll let us have you, we want you to be ours.” He whispers a soft ‘I love you’ into your hair and you find yourself overcome with emotion. 
The movie is still playing on the TV. It makes you laugh when you realize something. 
“Did you both seriously invite me over for dinner just so you could seduce me?” 
“Hey hey!” Chan laughs, tickling your side for a moment. “You’re the one that begged for us to ruin you, babygirl. Did you get what you wanted?” 
“I don’t know,” you say, pretending to be in thought. “I’m not feeling super ruined at the moment.” 
“That can be arranged.” 
*** Last installment of the threesome series <3 Thank you everyone for reading. If you want to check out the other three chapters, you can find them in my masterlist.
Taglist: @lolareadsimagines @elizalabs3 @chvn-max
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moonstruckme · 19 hours
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omg ok idea! James or Sirius with a gf whose chatty but just not super crass and May be she comes home drunk from girl's night and is just openly trying to seduce him and he's just so taken aback like who is this person?!
Thanks for requesting!
cw: intoxication, dubious consent but nothing more than kissing
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 717 words
Sirius has never received such determined kisses in his life. 
He turns his lips from yours, smearing them over your brow in consolation when you make a piteous, dejected sound he’s going to pretend for your benefit isn’t hilarious. You keep planting kisses on his jaw, his neck. Sirius catches your wrists in his hands when you start pulling up the hem of his shirt. 
“Hey, hey,” he laughs. “What happened to ‘hello’? Is this how we greet each other now, sweetness?” 
The kisses had begun the second he’d shut the door on your friends. They’d chatted for a minute before that, and you’d had this strange smile on your face as you waited for them to go. At the time, Sirius had chalked it up to your obvious inebriation, but now he knows it for depravity. 
“Preferably,” you mumble, mouth busy with the bits of chest you can get at by pulling down the collar of his shirt. Sirius isn’t sure whether you can’t stand on your own or whether you’ve just decided pressing yourself fully against him is the way to go. Any other time, he really wouldn’t be opposed. 
“What’s gotten into you?” he asks, delighted and exercising every ounce of self restraint in his battered soul to keep from kissing you back. He starts pulling you towards the couch, your uncoordinated feet following behind. 
You pause in your ravishment to grin up at him. You look positively impish. “Like, d’you want a list?” 
Sirius laughs, astonished. “What happened to my shy girl? Were you freaky fridayed by someone in the club?” 
“Freaky fridayed in the club.” You snort, flopping down onto the couch when he does and immediately getting into his lap. “That could mean lots of things.” 
Sirius feels a tug on his mouth. “Such as?” 
You bury your head in his neck, voice vibrating against his skin. “It’d make a good band name.” 
“It might,” he agrees, taking your face between both hands and removing you from him like a leech. A very pretty, beloved leech. “Do you feel like it might be time for bed, lovebug?” 
Your eyes spark. “Yeah,” you say heartily. 
“To sleep,” he clarifies. 
“Oh.” Your face falls. “Well, no. I thought we could have sex first.” 
Sirius guffaws, the sound short and loud, and his amusement really only worsens when you frown sullenly.
“Baby,” he tries gentling his tone, “I would love that, but you know why we can’t.” 
“Why?” you ask obstinately. 
Sirius pushes his thumbs into your cheeks, making wishful dimples on either side of your frown. “Because of what’s gotten into you.” 
“But I want to,” you whine. 
He pouts right back at you. “Me too, darling. It’s a tragedy.” 
“Not even a kiss?” you ask, tilting your head in his hands and looking up at him with huge, sweet eyes. Have you been able to do that this whole time? Fuck, he’s lucky you’re not often feeling bold enough to use it. 
“I could do a kiss,” he concedes. 
“A nice one,” you demand.
Sirius feels his lips pull up. “Agreed. A nice one.” 
You close your eyes, expectant, and he bends towards you, pressing his lips to yours sweetly. You taste like all manner of booze, but still his girl. You make a soft sound in your throat, lips parting for his, coaxing him in. In an extraordinary show of willpower, Sirius pulls away. 
“Hey.” You look betrayed, and he can’t help himself, planting a quick peck on your nose that makes it scrunch adorably. “You said it’d be a nice one!”
“That felt pretty nice to me,” he says, laughing when you try to move in for more and he has to dodge you. He turns his head to the side and catches at your hands when they go for his shirt. “That’s it for tonight. If you want more kisses tomorrow, I promise to let you have as many as you like.” 
You sigh, giving up and hooking your chin on his shoulder. “Your lips were, like, buzzing,” you mumble, wistful. “It was nice.” 
“Pretty sure that’s just you, sweetness,” Sirius tells you kindly, breaking his promise once more to press his lips to your hair. “Ready for bed now?”
“To sleep?” you ask despondently. 
“Yeah, baby. To sleep.”
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mrsparrasblog · 19 hours
Text
You're losing me pt 4.
prev part. part 1
TW: Drug use, mentioned rape, mention of violence, medic is the worst human on earth
Simon sat down next to Johnny on his bed, holding the Scotsman's hand while giving him a reassuring nod. "We have the whole day time."
"It's complicated."
"I will understand."
"Promise to believe me."
"Promise." Simon didn't know exactly what had happened or how Johnny got this way. He always admired Johnny for his confidence and the way he made everything seem so easy. Seeing his boyfriend like this broke his heart. He knew Johnny would never cheat on you; he loved you, everyone loved you. He remembered that one day Johnny got piss drunk on a mission and a bird approached him. He showed her pictures of you for 10 minutes, telling everyone he had the most beautiful lass on earth. This man wouldn’t cheat, especially not with her, definitely not his type.
Simon thought she had just gone into Johnny's bed at night, removing her clothes and gaslighting him that he cheated. But when Johnny told him everything about the drugs, about the rape, about the way she tried to blackmail him, he felt like he needed to throw up. He was too young to protect his mother from this. He couldn’t do anything when it happened to him. He didn’t know you when it happened to you. But this time, he was going to kill the rapist. "You’re a good man. Don’t let her manipulate you into something you aren’t."
"I feel like shit."
"This won’t go away easy, love."
"I don’t know what to do." And he really didn’t know. Everything seemed and felt so lost. Simon believed him, right? But what if she tells everyone he raped her? It will be over with his military career. After she pulled that stunt you wouldn’t believe him anymore. The look in your eyes almost broke him completely. This was wrong. It went too easy for her like she had done this many times before or had been planning this for years. It was too easy.
"Let me fix it for you, Johnny." He was determined to do this. Through his head already went 1000 ideas on how to kill her. But every way was too easy, too nice for her. Rip her head off. Sell her off to the black market so she will experience first-hand the crimes she did to others. Burn her alive. Many possibilities.
"Don’t kill her, Lieutenant."
"You know she will do it again. Not only to you but to others."
"Do you think she already did this?" Johnny fiddled with his wrist. The bracelet that you bought him to help with his ADHD was gone. It always calmed him. You told him how you searched through whole Etsy to find some gems that should calm him down. He didn’t believe this shit, but it indeed calmed him down since it reminded him of you. And right now, you were the only thing he needed. He needed you to tell him that he isn’t dirty, that he isn’t at fault, that he is a good man.
"Would explain why she was transferred so fast to us from her old unit."
"Fuck." This needed to stop. He couldn’t let that happen to more innocent people.
"Let’s talk to Price, then I’ll take care of her, and after that, we get our girl back." Simon missed you just as much as Johnny did. For a split second, he was afraid that you were mad and disappointed that he didn’t check on you. But that wasn’t the selfless girl he fell in love with. He knew you would understand if you only knew. He could already imagine how you would apologize even though you didn’t do anything wrong. You were different than the medic scum.
"Do you think she’ll take us back?"
"Yes, promise." He placed a small kiss on the shaved part of Johnny's mohawk, a small gesture that the Scot always loved. Simon always knew how to calm him down. With that, they left in the direction of Price's office.
-------------------------------
He woke up with an immense headache and the urge to throw up. John really drank too much the last few days, but this will end now. He will concentrate on you and the job again. You forgave him for lying, at least that was the last thing he remembered before you brought him to his bed. On his bedside table stood a glass of water and one of your self-made brownies with a small note. "Take care of yourself, bear." You always jokingly called him a bear because that was what he was to you. John was the big cuddly bear who always kept you safe.
He knew by the amount of alcohol he drank yesterday, he should probably head to the medical department for some meds. He would never tell anyone, though. He was a hypocrite sometimes, always letting the other hungover soldiers run miles to torture them for being so irresponsible to drink before training. But he could afford the luxury of taking meds against his hangover.
So John went to the medical. He was annoyed when he only saw her there.
"Hello, Captain." She smiled brightly, which made him almost throw up on the spot. There was always a difference between the real, sweet-like-a-cake, like his girl, and the artificial acting sweetness she faked. It was disgusting. "Is there another medic or nurse in here today?"
"No, sorry, Captain."
"I'll go then."
"Come on, Captain, be professional. What do you need?"
"Just something against my hangover." He can be professional and still respect you, right? You won’t be mad he talked to her.
"That was easy. I'll bring you something."
She came back, still with that creepy artificial sweet smile. In her hand was a glass of water with, judging by the displaced white particles, meds. "Just some pain meds against headache and dehydration. Drink up, Captain, and then stay here for 20 minutes for the next med."
John drank it up. After a few minutes of sitting in the chair, he felt his limbs tingle weirdly. This must be one of those side effects of the meds.
"How are you feeling, baby?" Weird name.
"Don’t call me that." He tried to leave, but it felt like his body didn’t do the things he wanted anymore like he was paralyzed.
"I wouldn’t do that, John."
"What was in there?" This can’t be fucking true. This is one of those weird drunk dreams.
"Oh, baby, just some mild paralyzer. Don’t worry, it only lasts three hours, and you can still talk. That’s great, isn’t it? Oh, and Viagra."
Fuck, this is true. This is how she got Johnny. She is fucking sick. "What do you want?"
"You know, I really tried to be nice, but you all only talk about her all the time, so I took matters into my own hands." She said as she slowly sat down on his lap. John tried hard to do anything, but he wasn’t able to move.
"Look, you’re a pretty girl. You don’t need us. There is someone who loves you." He tried to be nice, and use his words to come out of this situation, but she already removed his pants. He knew it was over there until he heard the sudden voices of Johnny and Simon. He knew she could never outsmart them, and she knew it too.
"Fuck, fuck," she screamed, gathering the remaining meds and her things. She ran out of the room the second she saw the door open.
"Fucking hell, Captain, you're okay?"
"That fucking cunt drugged me. Get a fucking nurse here." This all didn’t go like Simon's plan. It felt like she was always a step ahead of them.
----------------------------------------
Kyle didn't notice any of the drama going on in medical as he used his time in the gym. Well, more of texting you instead of being productive, until.
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"Fucking hell."
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Tag list: @littlechomper @ab12305 @darkangel4121
A/N: I know you are waiting for her downfall, it will come promise.
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st-hedge · 2 days
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I said a while ago that for totk’s one anniversary I would write a weird little review of the game in which I throw roses at it while simultaneously slandering it. So I made an attempt which is very abbreviated
Disclaimer: I’m not telling u how u should feel about totk or what’s the right way to feel about it, I’m just trying to make sense of why the game frustrates me and putting it into words. It’s completely fine if u disagree with me, I’m not pitching an argument but just putting words on paper
Totk is one of the best games I’ve ever had the opportunity to play. The mechanics, the music, the designs, the revised world of hyrule, makes me want to curl up on the floor and cry. It is stunning and done with so much love. Where botw had lacked, totk has improved and gone above and beyond. It had frustrated me that botw only allowed us to explore the ground surface, but botw was an exploration into open world games which allowed for totk to happen. The caves, the boats, the islands, and the depths add so much to already such a vast world. I only wish there was also diving but beggars can’t be choosers beh
Although it still doesn’t make too much sense to me why all weapons are suddenly corrupted, I do love the new weapons system. I love how it gives more variety to explore. Materials which previously sat unused in the inventory are now key and nothing feels like a waste to collect. Even rupees have found another use. I’m not the biggest fan of the zonai devices but the addition feels like a love letter to the creativity of the fan base and it feels at place. They help to traverse an otherwise huge and intimidating world. But at times I feel like they give too much leverage and break down too many boundaries and leave little to solve and explore. What im basically saying is fuck the rockets.
I feel that totk doesn’t have enough progress boundaries that make u pause and explore what u have at hand. I found myself just pushing and pushing, forgetting and leaving behind areas I barely touched. It felt too easy getting into the sky and returning to the islands and they lost some of their mystery to me. I think this would have been a great opportunity to reintroduce the loftwings from skyward sword. I’ve talked before about how much this would make sense for totk. The loftwings could be a means to cross boundaries and explore new territories, but it takes time to catch and tame one as a companion. But like horses they should have their limits, presenting new boundaries u need to overcome again
Where the totk’s hyrule begins to confuse and disappoint me goes hand in hand with my main issue (confusion?) with the game. Although botw felt incomplete (the world was a little sparse and one dimensional), the story was comprehensive and clear. Meanwhile, totk has a complete and lively world but it doesn’t have a story to carry
Totk’s story doesn’t have an identity I can grasp and understand. It’s like it doesn’t know what it wants to tell the player, what story it wants to direct them to. On one hand, it seems to want us to know about the origins of hyrule and the mysterious landmarks and characters that are permanent fixtures in this world (castle, ruins, dragons) but at the same time it suddenly wants to do a retelling of OoT and about the sages and these secret stones. But the game never completes any of these stories. Maybe it wants to tell us these stories through the environment, but there is just not enough embedded into the world to grasp and tie together into a narrative. Which is ironic considering how big the world is
We begin to be told the story of the dragons, we suddenly understand how they came to be (the secret stones). But we are never told about the events of their creation (an act of desperation, like Zelda’s) and we are never close to understanding them. Then we are told about the sages, but meeting them tells us nothing new. No new cutscenes, no new items or lore directly related to them. The new sages are found, but didn’t we just discover the divine beasts with them? Suddenly another layer of importance is added to them which makes the ties between legacy and the current sages muddier. I wish there had been focus on them creating their own legacy instead
I think totk could’ve had a very interesting story to tell if it chose what it wants to focus on. Maybe the secret stones were introduced just as a way for Zelda to become a dragon? I dunno
There are so many new places that feel like fantastic opportunities for moments of pause and to uncover lore, unearth memories. But instead they’re brisk puzzles or empty sites. Like the graveyard underneath the desert, the forge islands, the factories, and the fucking poe statues. Tell me as much as u want that I can’t read environmental story telling, but I’ll just keep saying there’s nothing to read into cuz the game doesn’t know what it wants to say. There’s no thread to follow in the way there was with, for example, the graveyard at the spirit temple in OoT. We could’ve been just left with a strange well and a graveyard and told to figure it out, but a thread is laid down that these are the skeletons in the royal family’s closet.
Totk does have amazing moments, like Zelda meeting her ancestors and giving up her identity to become a living legend to revive the master sword, the discovery of the ancient temples, the story of the zonai and their origins. But these are just pieces with many loose ends around them that go nowhere. Even Ganon is left as a loose end where there was so much opportunity to say something worth saying. He seems comically evil with bogstandard bah I want to rule the world lines. If u want to make a case for evil for the sake of evil, u can at least show me a character repeatedly making horrible choices which lead them to the current predicament. Just like totk’s hyrule, he is lovingly designed but he tells absolutely no story
If the reason behind the lack of story is that the devs/writers wanted us to make our own story out of this, then I think this is a case where it was a poor choice. The fans can make theories, hcs, pick up pieces and make AUs, but we also love the stories told by the games and it’s what inspires us to uncover more stories (hey wanna talk about tp and why we hear Malon’s song at night, or what’s up with the empty desert)
I’d love to see totk from the perspective of someone who had never played or known botw. Did it really help to remove any traces of sheikah tech besides the labs and the guardian limbs in the towers. Although the zonai devices and the sheikah tech are from different time periods, totk was a perfect opportunity to marry the two elements together. The shrines and the divine beasts could’ve collapsed into the depths, but instead they have just vanished like erased history
Totk’s story doesn’t have an identity in the same way botw’s does. Even though botw’s hyrule was much smaller and emptier, we found stories there cuz we knew what that game was trying to tell us. If totk is about making sacrifices, then this message feels obsolete by the end. U should make sacrifices, but u will only be happy again if it all goes back to exactly how it was before
As happy and sweet the ending is, it made all the worry and sadness I felt seem pointless cuz of course everything would reset back to the norm cuz how else would this game have a happy ending. What was there to worry about. Yeah so what that Zelda became a dragon losing herself, she was just asleep the entire time and effortlessly she becomes her normal self. So what that link lost his sword arm, of course he would miraculously get it back even though it took him 100 years to recover from a mortal wound. No trace of the things they withstood and lost, no mark, nothing.
I loved the final battle and spectacle of the dragons struggling against each other in the sky. The battle went from the deepest depths to the highest reaches of the sky and I thought it was perfect. But once again how the story concluded and the logic behind it me made me feel like I was chewing on sand and the idyllic ending just made me look about in confusion
TLDR; totk is an amazing game with a stunning world that lacks a comprehensive story to tell
I hoped that I would get a better understanding why I’m so frustrated by totk, but instead I just feel even more confused by it and I think that’s just how I’ll have to leave it
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Torture and Trust // S. Riley x f!reader
warnings: waterboarding, reader is physically hit and tortured, reader is threatened with sexual assault in one (1) line, canon-typical violence, swearing
A part two to this but also doesn't need to be read before this. I'm kind of making a little universe in my head but idk. We vibin'.
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It was the shock of cold water smashing against your face that woke you up. To be honest, you weren’t really asleep. You had been drifting between the space between consciousness and sleep, lured there from a few nasty hits to the head and exhaustion.
It was supposed to be a simple recon mission before the rest of the team came in to aid the retrieval of an asset. It was a warehouse tucked away in the streets of Tokyo that was apparently the hub of a human trafficking ring. MI5 had tasked the military to dispatch a SpecOps team since British citizens were targeted, something that had you grumbling under your breath because it shouldn’t take someone’s fucking citizenship to determine if they needed help. Explosives would be a bad idea considering how metropolitan the area was, even if it wasn’t very busy in this area. So you and Lieutenant Riley were tasked with figuring out a solid entry point and a tally of guards.
Simon had agreed to split up so he could canvass the west side of the building and see how many guards were stationed while you took the east side. It just so happened that the second-in-command to shithead in charge himself spotted the flash of your rifle scope and the next thing you know, you were strapped to a chair in the middle of the warehouse.
Your chest heaved as you caught your breath and you let out a small laugh as you regarded the two men in front of you. Being in the SAS, you were no secret to torture. Everyone knew that one step of the training was to go through seventy-two hours of pure hell and sleep deprivation to see who broke and who didn’t. This was child’s play compared to that.
“Your swing is getting better,” you said through bloodied teeth. “But that follow through is what we need to work on.”
A hand fisted in the back of your head and shoved your forward, directly into the trough of water they had placed in front of you. Waterboarding was always an interesting exercise. You knew it was coming and had inhaled sharply, focusing your attention on anything but the air slowly leaking from your lungs as he held you in there for maybe a minute. Your thoughts drifted to other things, like the ramen you and Simon split in the safehouse the night before. It had been a few months since he grew comfortable enough with taking the mask off in front of you so now you savored the few moments you saw of his face. He seemed almost tentative without his mask, as though he was aware of how beastly his scars made him look.
You pondered over if he knew just how beautiful he was.
They yanked you back out of the water and you didn’t know what time it was. It was certainly darker than it had been when you were first nabbed from your lookout point. Certainly long enough that Simon was aware of your predicament. So that meant you were running out of time. Two in front of you, three guards behind. Your hands strained against the rope and duct tape mixture that bound your wrists and ankles to the sides of the chairs.
“Who do you work for?” the boss hissed. You blinked up at him innocently through the water that clung to your lashes and shrugged.
“Can’t a girl just chill around here? God forbid women do anything.” You braced yourself for a hit that never came. Instead, he grabbed your jaw and squeezed, forcing your teeth to clack together with a sharp jolt and a bite to your tongue, adding more blood to mix with the cuts already present from the lackluster punches delivered earlier.
“Not with that level of weaponry. Try again.”
“You got me. I’m one of Santa’s elves and he wanted to make sure you were being a good boy this year. I’d hate to let him know that-” Your words were cut off as you were shoved back into the water. Ramen. How many meals had you two shared at this point? He had even started bringing you dinner to your office since he could take his mask off there rather than in the chow hall. You wouldn’t lie, you were starting to get tired. Your lungs burned from the fight to breathe and inhale the water, but you tried to shut off the small part of your brain that sent up signals of panic.
You didn’t need to worry, you reminded yourself. Just hold on a little longer.
“If you don’t start giving me real answers, maybe I’ll let some of our clients get it out of you. They’d love that,” the boss snarled when you were let up for air. Your gut tugged uncomfortably at the implication. It was always something that you had to keep in the back of your mind. Being a woman, military or not, always meant that it was a threat held over your head, simply for existing. It was why you were so eager to destroy their whole operation.
“How about you go fuck yourself?” Gathering up the blood and spit in your mouth, you forced your tongue back and then spat the putrid mix all over his face and the pristine white collar of his shirt. Rage flickered across his face and he stood up straight.
“Get me the pliers. If she won’t talk, we’ll make sure she screams.”
Well, you mused, what was a few less nails and teeth except less maintenance?
As his little goon walked off to whatever evil lair table of doom they had set up, your ears tuned into the silence around you. The typical sounds of the city met your ears, along with…there.
“I’m afraid, boys, that you’re out of time,” you said softly. A smile tugged painfully at your swollen and cut lips but you pushed past the pain. “This has been fun, truly, but I can’t lie and say I’ll miss you.”
The boss’ hand was heavy on the back of your neck as he held you down into the water. Even through the distorted splashes and fuzziness in your mind, you could hear five audible pops. You knew what they saw in their last moments. You knew that the Ghost emerged from the shadows, steps silent despite the fact that he was more muscle than man, and you knew that these men felt fear seconds before a bullet silenced their cruel minds.
He tugged you up out of the water and you inhaled deeply, the sound harsh and grating on your sensitive ears. Blinking the water out of your eyes, you came face to face with a mask that most said elicited a bone deep terror in them.
But not you.
“Right on time,” you panted. He said nothing as he cut the bindings holding you down and inspected the way that they had rubbed some of your skin away, leaving it tender and bleeding. Simon turned to look at the leader of all of this and you realized that he didn’t kill him. The man was dragging himself towards his discarded gun on the ground, blood oozing from his ruined kneecap. Ghost stalked towards him and lifted him up and away from his weapon. He regarded the little weasel coolly and then glanced back at you. You tried to push yourself up and out of the chair but your legs shook under you and instead, you collapsed back against the metal.
“Warehouse is clear,” Soap announced as he, Gaz, and Price entered. “Christ, bonnie, you look like shite.”
“You charmer,” you muttered. Gaz rushed to your side to help you up and you were grateful for your team. Your friends.
“This him?” Price asked as he joined Simon.
“Yeah.” It was the first time he’d spoken since he entered the building. “Keep him alive. I want to be the one to interrogate him.”
If it were anyone else, Price would agree. But seeing the slight tremor in Simon’s hands where he gripped the man’s suit jacket and then looking over to where Gaz was supporting your half-conscious form, he knew that putting Simon alone in a room with the man would result in a very messy clean up.
“We’ll worry about that when we get them back to base,” Price said. “We need to get her to medical.”
Four days into your medical leave and you were growing antsy. Soap and Gaz tried to keep you entertained and Price offered you an opportunity to yell at some cadets, but you were bored. You missed moving your body more than just the walk from your room to your office to the chow hall and back. But the doctor had threatened to strap you to a bed for a week while you let your body get back to normal after, and her words were, “you got your shit rocked. I know you SpecOps bastards think you’re invincible but anyone would need to take a fucking break after being tortured.” So, here you were, sitting in your office and writing up a mission plan for another team because Price knew you were getting twitchy without anything to do.
Two knocks, sharp and perfunctory, caught your attention. You called for whoever it was to enter, but you already knew who it would be. How many times had he laid that same knock upon your door? You once said that he might as well move into your office and he had regarded it for a moment thoughtfully, as if he was genuinely considering it.
“Four days of silence from you. Thought I did something wrong,” you commented lightly as Ghost entered and shut the door behind him. He didn’t take his usual seat, the plush wheelie chair you invested in when you joined the team and realized that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. Simon dropped a tray onto your desk and then stalked away, his shoulders tense and bristling like a scared cat.
A quick glance at the time confirmed that your trap had worked. He always noticed if you missed a meal, usually because you were invested in something you were working on. Everyone had their own quirk or vice and that was yours.
He brought you beef stew over rice, a quintessential British meal that was surprisingly appetizing despite the cook’s minimal care. A shiny red apple sat beside it and, as if he read your thoughts, Simon whirled around and yanked it off of the tray. He extracted a knife from his pocket and started to carve the apple into slices that he dropped onto the tray and then turned around and began to stare at the wall once more. You simply grabbed one of the slices and chewed on it while waiting for him to speak.
“That was stupid,” his rough voice broke the silence. You scoffed and stopped chewing.
“What, getting captured? I didn’t fucking plan on it.”
“No. For not trying to escape.”
A dry, startled laugh escaped you and you scrubbed the heel of your hand over your forehead. “Five men with guns and me with nothing, tied to a chair. Yeah, fair chance of running without a bullet in the back.”
“You didn’t even try.”
“I didn’t have to. I knew you were coming.”
He turned to glare at you from behind that infamous mask and you cocked your head to the side. “That doesn’t scare me, Simon, and you know it. Take the mask off.”
He hesitated and then reached up and yanked it off, revealing the sharp line of his jaw, the scars around his mouth, and those freckles that speckled across his nose and cheeks. You could see him better and, therefore, read him better. His eyes told you he was angry. His tight jaw told you he was scared.
“You can’t just sit there and fucking die because you’re waiting for me, you can’t do that.”
“Why? You’re my teammate. I trust that you would come for me.”
“What if I hadn’t?” You shook your head at his question, at the absurdity of it. Was he hearing himself? Was he that consumed by whatever foolish notion that had somehow worked its way into his head? You pushed away from your desk and stood up so you could cross the floor to stand toe to toe with him. 
“What if what if what if, fuck the what ifs, Simon. You. Wouldn’t. Leave. Me. Behind.” Each word was punctuated with a jab to his chest.
“And what if I had been injured, yeah? What then?” God, he was insufferable.
“You really mean to tell me that you wouldn’t crawl through broken glass to get to one of us.”
“That’s not the point!”
“Would you have this conversation with Soap or Gaz or Price? Then why are you so insistent about it with me? I was doing my job. Are you saying I can’t trust you? Trust my team? Because I can. I do. Don’t start telling me I shouldn’t.”
“You can. For fuck’s sake, you can.”
“You said it yourself, Simon, this job is dangerous and I knew the risks going in so I don’t know why you’re so insistent on thi-“
He tasted like nicotine and mint gum with maybe a hint of gunpowder, something so uniquely him. His lips pressed against yours with surprising gentleness and he cradled your face between his hands like you were the most precious glass figure he’d ever held. You fisted your hands in the lapels of his uniform jacket and sank into his touch. His fingers traced the skin of your cheeks, careful to not irritate the cuts you sustained days prior, and down to cup the back of your neck to draw you closer. A soft whimper escaped you at the sensation of his strong body pressing against yours.
You could easily hold your own in a fight, but the knowledge that this Adonis of a man was by your side through the hell of war was a comfort.
You needed to breathe but it wasn’t the painful reminder like it was when being tortured. His hands slid from your neck to cradling your jaw as you pulled away, settling back down on your heels.
“Don’t make me bury you,” he whispered, his forehead still pressed against yours.
You nodded, too dazed to say anything noteworthy. His thumbs stroked over your jaw and you blinked up at him.
“Was that a one time thing to shut me up or…”
“Fuckin’ insufferable, you are,” he grunted but leaned down to kiss you sweetly. There wasn’t much you could associate with Simon Riley and being sweet, but the tenderness in his touch made you want to hold him and keep him away from the world that had hurt him.
You felt his fingers brush against a nasty bruise on your jaw from a well aimed hit and saw his eyes darken.
“Did you question him already?”
“We’ve got a list of buyers that MI6 and Laswell are confirming right now,” he affirmed. Good. The mission was a success then.
“And how did you get this information?” you asked.
You met the gaze of the Ghost and didn’t flinch. He chuckled low and deep in his chest and tilted your chin up so he could see one of the cuts better.
“I did everything he did to you,” he said fiercely. "But I made sure it was permanent."
You moved your hand up to tangle with the short hair at the base of his neck and pressed your lips against his. Pulling back so just a small gap separated you, you murmured out a single sentence.
"I trusted you would."
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mariasont · 22 hours
Note
hi hi hi!!! i know you’re working on the bau sleepover buttttt i was wondering if you could write a aaron hotchner x reader fic where like what happened to garcia, reader gets shot and she’s in hospital and they don’t know if she gonna be okay and stuff. her and hotch have this mutual pining for each other and when she gets shot he kinda spirals. after being released, hotch takes her to her apartment and stays with her until they catch him and stuff. i know this is really long, thank you!!!
Some Profiler You Are - A.H
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a/n: hi hi hi thank you so so sooo much for requesting <3 i kind of took this a more fluffy route and focused more on the recovery so let me know if you like it :)
masterlist
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
warnings: reader was shot, comfort, angst like a teensy bit, fluff, changing of bandages, kinda shitty ending per usual
wc: 2k
"Do you want to sit down?"
No, you really didn't. After spending the last six hours in a state of near-motionlessness, sprawled across various surfaces, the last thing you wanted was to do was sit down. Your legs had taken on the consistency of overcooked noodles, so you made the grave mistake of misreading the quiet of the house as Hotch's absence, a mistake punctuated by the garage door's sudden rumble.
You should have known better than to assume he would leave you alone for even a second. Now, you were face to face, his scrutinizing eyes boring into yours, arms crossed across his wide chest. He was in a casual zip-up--a rarity that you never imagined him wearing before practically moving in with him. But you really did enjoy this relaxed side of him, he wore it exceptionally well.
Taking work off was a concept you knew was foreign him, yet here he was, not at his desk, hovering over you like a concerned parent. The entire office, yourself included, gaped at him as if he had sprouted a different head when he told them. His next move was even crazier--he insisted you stay with him while you recovered.
You protested. A lot. Shocker. But he wouldn't take no for an answer. Again, Shocker.
You winced as you stepped forward, your hands automatically gravitating to the bandage that spanned around your thigh.
"You can't baby me forever, Hotch," you murmured, though your conviction wavered under the dull throb in your leg.
You braced yourself against the counter, trying to mask the discomfort you were sure was etched all over your face.
Filling the shoes of the communications liaison for the FBI post-JJ's shift to profiling, you signed up for a life of managing the media narrative, being the conduit between local and federal levels, and choosing the cases. You provided assistance in ways that aren't glaringly obvious.
What you didn't sign up for is getting shot.
The movies, the stories, even the firsthand accounts from coworkers--none of it could brace you for the raw, blistering pain of a gunshot wound. It fucking hurt. And the recovery? It was a different kind of torture, and you'd even argue that it was worse.
"It's not babying, it's common sense," Hotch countered.
He was frustrated. You had that effect. He stepped closer, his hand dragging down his face. "You took a bullet. It's still in your leg. It's perfectly rational for me to want to prevent any unnecessary strain on you."
"Feels dramatic," you shrugged, but he was right, like always.
Your grip on the counter tightened, knuckles growing white as you struggled to keep the pain under wraps. His brows lifted in response.
"I'm fine, really, Hotch. I hate this. You're probably dying to get back to work--don't let me be the reason you don't. Despite popular belief, I'm quite capable of fending for myself."
"I'm aware," he said, his attention briefly shifting to your bandaged leg. You were wearing shorts, a choice that felt less than appropriate, but practicality trumped formality under these circumstances. "Work will survive without me. I'm not sure I can say the same about you."
Your laughter was short-lived, swiftly turning into a stifled grimace as your footing slipped. Hotch's reflexes were quick, his hands steadying you--one against your ribs, the other just shy above the hem of your shorts.
"Point in case."
"Poking fun at a wounded woman? Shame on you, Hotch," you chided, your lower lip jutting out in a pout. His eyes darted to it momentarily.
He didn't move, his hands staying put, stirring a gentle, jelly-like feeling inside of you.
This was an odd sort of comfort, the kind you're not supposed to feel with your boss. You shouldn't be talking to him like this, shouldn't be in his kitchen, and certainly, his hands shouldn't be where they were. But the ache in your heart didn't seem to care about shoulds and shouldn'ts.
Hotch's presence was hard to ignore. He was reducing the space with every word.
"You're hardly acting like a wounded woman," he pointed out. "You should be in bed."
You tilted your head, sliding onto the barstool to carve some much-needed space between you. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, and you needed distance to gather your wits before you did something that HR would definitely not look kindly upon.
The action was a mistake, a fact that became painfully clear as the feeling of something stabbing into your leg took hold. You tried to muster a smile, but you were sure it came across as a snarl. The last thing you wanted was to inflate Hotch's ego by showing that maybe, just maybe, he was right.
"Shit."
You followed his line of sight, landing on the fresh red seeping through the bandage and staining your shorts. Oh. That's not great. Don't think you can fool him with this one.
Hotch didn't hesitate, his response outpacing your own surge of panic, which was incredibly fast, because you were panicking and frankly not that great with blood. His hands were on your skin, easing the hem of your shorts upward to lay bare the wound you had stupidly  underestimated.
You're never going on a date again.
I mean, the only reason you even went was to get your boss of your mind. Since the first day, you'd been hopelessly drawn to him--how could you not be?
But there are a couple factors to consider.
Firstly, he was your boss, and the whole notion of a coercive relationship dynamic seemed problematic.
Secondly, there's the age difference; it had never been an issue for you--perhaps a reflection of your daddy issues--but you knew it would raise some eyebrows.
And thirdly, he didn't even like you back. That was, of course, the biggest issue. If not for this, the other concerns could definitely be overlooked. 
Before this whole incident, he barely acknowledged you beyond was professionally required of him. You knew you hadn't been part of the team long enough to bond--though you weren't sure Hotch did bond in the usual sense, but the point was made.
You were fairly sure you hadn't made much of an impression on him.
"Hold still." That was a tall order, considering it hurt more than a mother fucker.
You found yourself glaring at him--not that he was to blame, but you needed to anchor your frustration on something, or someone. Unknowingly, your grip had latched on the fabric of his zip-up, but he seemed unfazed. He grabbed a clean cloth from the drawer, pressing it against the wound, only furthering the colorful vocabulary going on in your head.
"Fuck, Hotch."
You didn't make a habit of cursing in front of your superior, but the sharp sting forced tears to the brink, your body going rigid as you snapped your eyes shut. 
His other hand found its way to your uninjured thigh, giving it a firm squeeze--a clear attempt to divert your attention. It worked for a second. "I'm sorry, just keep this pressed here, okay?"
He motioned toward the cloth, and you complied, too drained to consider otherwise. Your brows knitted, and you bit into your lip until you tasted something metallicy, your mind desperately racing trying to think of anything other than the blood flowing freely from your thigh.
"Where are you going?" You knew how panicked you sounded as he turned away, stepping towards a cabinet. 
He rummaged briefly before holding up a first aid kit. Catching the brief alarm in your face, he quickly returned to your side, his hand finding the crook of your neck as you instinctively clutched at his shirt once again.
"If you dare say I told you so, I swear, Hotch, fists will fly," you ground out through clenched teeth.
He laughed, and now that did distract you, your eyes zeroing in on his perfect teeth. It was a rare display, and it only served to aggravate you further. Of course he had perfect teeth.
"I didn't say anything."
"I could feel you thinking it," you said, your voice rough as you willed the moisture in your eyes not to fall. "Maybe I should be a profiler."
"Definitely."
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you." You were lying. Everything suited him. He stepped back, and you reluctantly peered at the wound, only to find a neatly sutured leg. "Where did you learn to do that?"
"In this job, you learn to be handy with more than just a gun.”
You’d love to know what else he’s handy with.
He pulled your leg up to rest on his as he took a seat on the opposite stool.
Your body was buzzing, from the closeness, from his hands on you, and also from the pain, but you were trying to ignore that. He grabs a new bandage from the counter, hands trailing up your thigh so slowly you thought you might pass out. He was so gentle. There was no other word for it.
"How's it feel?"
You paused. Eyes fully locked on his precise movements as he wrapped you up. You were closer than you realized, practically sharing the same breath.
"Fine."
"Yeah?"
You nodded, and he finished up his task, his hand lightly patting your thigh to show he was done. You didn't move your leg from his lap, and he didn't move his hand.
"I couldn't sleep for three days."
"What?" Your brows were furrowed, your focus sharpening on his face as the words left his lips.
"When I found out you had been shot." He cleared his throat, his thumb making gentle rotations on your calf. "I couldn't close my eyes without seeing red for days. I wanted to kill the son of a bitch who did that to you. I almost did."
You weren't sure how to process this information, or why he was telling you. "You and me both."
"I'm serious." And you could tell he was, his eyes narrowing slightly as his hand firmly encircled around your leg. You felt a lump in your throat form as heat rose from your neck to your ears. "Do you know what that was like? I felt like my heart stopped."
"Why?"
"Why?" It was more a scoff than a word. He blew out a breath, his fingers pinching into the space between his eyebrows. "Is it not obvious?"
Your heart was beating a lot faster. You wanted to say something, anything but your throat was dry and every time you opened your mouth you found it snapping shut.
Hotch's expression softened ever so slightly, his voice low and bouncing off the walls as he spoke. "Because I'm in love with you."
Your breath stalled, as if every ounce of oxygen had been vacuumed from your lungs. The air felt heavy, almost tangible.
You stared at him, heart skipping a beat.
"That's not funny," you said. It wasn't. You weren't in the mood for jokes, and your brain couldn't comprehend he might be telling the truth. "You...you don't even notice me."
He shook his head. "I notice everything about you." His thumb stilled on your calf. "I'm your boss," he said, as if that explained everything. "There are rules, protocols. I couldn't...I still shouldn't..."
The confession stripped the room of its warmth, leaving a raw aching silence in its wake. You searched his face.
"When you got shot," he continued, "I realized that if I lost you, I'd regret not telling you how I feel for the rest of my life."
"Hotch, I..."
He leaned closer, causing your words to catch in your throat. His hand moved from your leg to your face. You were speechless, the world narrowing down to the man in front of you, to his eyes, the warmth of his hands.
"Say something."
"Are you kidding me?" Your heart was pounding like it was trying to escape from your chest. "I've been in love with you since I started. How could you not see that?"
He looked taken aback, as if your words were the last thing he expected. "Well—,"
But you didn't let him finish. "Some profiler you are."
You were practically climbing into his lap, hands framing his face, pulling your lips to his.
He chuckled against your lips, the sound vibrating through you. "Easy," he murmured, "don't make me fix that bandage again."
You laugh, the sound muffled by his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and coffee. "Shut up, Hotch."
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
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zhonglism · 3 days
Text
18+ MDNI; light dom!iwaizumi, explicit smut, unprotected sex, creampie, couch sex, iwaizumi is kinda mean in a hot way, just pure smut and nothing else. this was supposed to be a short thirst but idk what happened. divider: cafekitsune.
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── iwaizumi was an ever attentive lover during your most intimate moments together, whether it be in the bedroom or somewhere else in the house, he always put your needs before his—your pleasure before his. with such an intimate atmosphere, iwaizumi never forgets to constantly praise you, strings of dulcet whisper against your searing skin for taking him so well; he made sure to handle your naked body gently—butterfly touches and ghosting kisses, like you were the most expensive possession he had.
but just like everyone else, iwaizumi had another side to him—a side that never fails to bring out desperate mews and whines from your swollen lips; a side that reaps your most inner desires with such carnal hunger and he absolutely loves it. iwaizumi loves it when you let go and turn into a dirty little whore for him, for his cock as your body desperately chases that oh-so-mind blowing pleasure it yearns for with each passing second.
he was mean.
iwaizumi looked down at you, head held high with dominance, dark emerald gaze piercing right through your core. you were both on the couch, legs on either side of his waist as he pressed himself on the plushness of the backrest; sun kissed arms spread wide, resting atop the sofa. your lover donned a pointed look, one brow held high, an icy expression painting his face, “if you want to cum on my cock, you have to work for it.” iwaizumi’s gruff voice cuts through the thick lingering atmosphere. you let out a pathetic whine, the sound dissipating into nothingness while you held iwaizumi’s stare, your nails digging into the bare skin of his shoulder—a silent, weak protest telling him you couldn’t take this anymore.
everything was going so well, the two of you had found yourselves in a rather intimate moment while watching a movie until out of the blue, iwaizumi had a weird glint in his eyes as you pulled away from the kiss. the next thing you knew, he ordered you to fuck yourself on his cock and make yourself cum, all by yourself—practically allowing you to use him at your disposal. “iwa—” your lover clicked his tongue and that was enough to get you to shut your pretty mouth up. so you started again, picking your naked body back up to dance an endless rhythm up and down, up and down until pleasure decides to come.
your legs ached, thighs burning with every movement of your hips; frustration swallowed you, annoyed that the sensation of pleasure was being drowned out with each passing second. so close yet so fucking far away, your body teetering between the boundaries of that mind blowing orgasm but never really able to cross it—almost like reaching out to the void, the uncertainty. tears outlined the corners of your eyes, unpleasant thoughts plaguing your mind as you did your best to focus on iwaizumi’s cock. he looked at your face, frustration clearly etching itself there—pride blossomed across his chest, ego shooting to the heavens above. who knew he was able to drive you to the edge so easily?
resting your cheek upon his sweaty chest, feverish moans and mewls tumbled past your lips, hips desperately chasing that high. you’ve been at it for at least an hour now, cunt practically dripping with essence from the sexual build up. soft squelches reverberated throughout the walls of the apartment, lewd sounds mixed with pleasured groans filling both your ears. iwaizumi bit his lip, gummy walls squeezing him deliciously tight, “there we go. .” he grunted, using a free hand to grab your chin and angle your face up to him. his heart almost clenched at the sight of your watery eyes and quivering lips, pure desperation seeping from your body. iwaizumi would have caved right then and there if he didn’t fantasise about how pretty you’d look all fucked out and hungry for his cock.
his dick twitched but none dared to address it. slowly, iwaizumi traced your pout with his thumb, head leaning into the butterfly touch. a smirk planted itself on his face as your lover pushed the digit between your lips; as if on cue, you sucked iwaizumi’s thumb, hot tongue swirling around the tip as if it was his cock. a soft groan rumbled from his chest, tongue swiping at his bottom lip before tilting his head. keep going. a wordless command, you hadn’t even realised the halt of your movements, so then you started the same monotonous rhythm—muscles burning and body yearning for pleasure.
you moaned around his thumb as his free hand groped your ass with such fervour; all this was taking a toll on iwaizumi, too. the repeated bounce of your hips and squeeze of your walls had him on edge, not to mention that sinful look on your face as you fucked him. the hand on your ass found its way to your hip, resting there for a bit before guiding it down to his cock with immense force. you let out a loud yelp, for the first time that night, your eyes rolled to the back of your head—the tip of iwaizumi’s cock finally nudging that sweet sweet spot.
it was cute how you tried to moan his name despite a finger in your mouth. “that’s it. mhm, you’re doing so so well f’me. .” iwaizumi breathed out, voice trembling in unison with the bounce of your hips. you clenched around him as his cock repeatedly reached deeper in your cunt, thanking the heavens and iwaizumi for finally giving you some kind of relief—a new wave of pleasure you’ve been desperately seeking out. looking up at your lover, tears of frustration and pleasure rolled down your heated cheeks; a specific twinkle in your eyes was all iwaizumi needed to know that you were close.
“are you going to cream around my cock? hm?” his words went straight to your core, squeezing around him once more, earning a proud smirk from your boyfriend. yes, you wanted to say but instead it came out loud and incoherent—all a jumbled mess from the toe-curling pleasure planted deep inside you. the grip on your hip tightened, a burning touch as iwaizumi forced your body onto his with a new found hunger; loud skin slapping engulfed the living room, the heavy air of sex lingered and intertwined with your naked bodies. with each passing second; each rough movement of your hips, the muscles in your body tightened, head spinning from the overwhelming sensation.
“c-cumming . . !” you managed to slip out, a digit between your lips—iwaizumi held your face near his own, hot breaths mixing as you both gasped in pleasure, he absolutely loved seeing your face as you come undone for him. he urged you on, whispering sweet nothings against your neck. it didn’t take much for you to cum; body turning taut, and fingers painfully digging into iwaizumi’s bare shoulders that was sure to leave crescent marks. as you came, iwaizumi didn’t think twice to move his hips, forcefully thrusting up to meet your own—the harsh slapping of his balls against your ass adding to your blissful state.
fuck, you were on cloud nine. iwaizumi didn’t fall behind, sheathing his cock deep inside your cunt and shooting hot cum while moaning your name into the ceiling, vision turning white for a mere second. he made sure to ride out your orgasm, giving you quick, short thrusts with the head of his cock nudging against your sweet spot over and over again. you shivered at the oversensitivity, weakly placing a sweaty palm over his abdomen, earning a breathless chuckle from your lover. god, he’d do this all over again just to see the lustful desperation etched on your face.
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samkerrworshipper · 24 hours
Text
las 15.
mapi leon x reader, alexia putellas x reader (platonic)
warnings: the spanish federation ick
erm look at me posting something 😮 anyways enjoy haha i kinda hate it but need to feed yall somehow
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“You need to be aware of the consequences of what could happen if you sign this document.”
You stared down at the mahogany surface of your lawyers desk, it was dark, sanded, smooth and shiny. Contemporary, but it also looked old, like a heirloom. It distracted your from the non stop drawl.
“I don’t care, I’m signing it.”
Your eyes travelled along the surface, lookinbg at the different waves of wood and the way that the dark colours marbled together.
“The RFEF could come for you, they could try and take your license. You might not compete at the world cup, the press will come for you, Vilda will come for you, Barca could reduce your playing time, it could be the end of your career. There are other negatives.”
You’ve thought about all of them of course, how could you not?
“I’ve already said it, I don’t care. Let them come for me, let them do whatever they want. I am done with it all. Fourteen other players have signed it, no? I will be the fifteenth and that is final.”
You weren’t a big fan of your lawyer, he was old and money oriented. He also didn’t have your best interest in mind, his sole focus was earning you as much money as possible, which had been fine up until today.
“So what? You plan to be the best in the world and never play international football again? This will ruin your career, it will put an end to the Ballon D’or campaign, it will change things for you, you can’t just do this because your girlfriend does it as well, this will be detrimental for you.”
The wood grooved at the edges, flattening out and curving so the edges weren’t too sharp.
“I refuse to stand by and submit myself to abuse. That’s what happens every time I go to that place, every time I go to camp I submit myself to abuse, torture, horrific conditions. The fact that you would even dare imply that I would do this for anybody but myself is preposterous. I am better than the condition I am being subkmitted to, I deserve better than to be objectified and treated as if I am dirt on that man’s shoe and I refuse to be treated as such. I have standards for myself and the people around me and I refuse to live by these for much longer. I’ll draft up the letter, I’ll send it to you for editing purposes and once your done you will send it to the RFEF, consequences be damned. You should be glad that I lasted two more windows then everyone else, honestly I’m ashamed that I didn’t do this earlier, but I’m ready to take a stand with everybody else now. I don’t want to play in a World Cup if it means this is how I will live my life.”
You looked up at your lawyer, hoping the fire burning in your soul was reflective in your eyes.
“This is a bad decision, you are thinking with your heart and not your head, this is unlike you.”
You pulled your eyes from the mahogany, standing up from your seat slowly.
“No, I’m thinking with my own interests, not yours, not my managers, not my bank accounts. I’m thinking with my mental health, my emotional health and my physical health. For the first time in my life I am taking time to focus on myself, so tyeah maybe it’s unlike me, but I’d like to think this might be the a better version of me, I’ll email you my letter, all you havr to do is forward it, if it’s such a struggle don’t even bother reading it, I don’t care what you have to say, I’m legally obligated to make you aware of any contractual issues so here I am. Give a fuck, don’t give a fuck, it doesn’t change anything for me, I’ve made my decision and nothing or nobody will make me change my mind.”
You didn’t wait around to hear what he planned to say in rebuttal, exiting the stuffy office as quickly as your legs would allow.
You made it to your car before you felt the tears flooding down your face. Even now, even after you’d tried to speak out you still felt like you were being silenced, like nothing had changed. That’s why you were doing what you were doing, why you knew this was what you needed to do. It didn’t make it any easier though, knowing that no matter what choices you made, even if they were for the good of you there were still going to be people around you who condemned them.
You were supposed to be at training, but you’d taken the day of to finalise all this bullshit. It was frustrating, knowing that the choices you were making for the good of yourself could end up being harmful to your career in a multitude of ways, it was all so fucking hard.
Everybody was at training, and yet here you were balling your eyes out in the carpark of your stupid fucking lawyers office.
If you hadn’t hit rock bottom at the last camp, the this was it, this was your final straw.
It was all too much, you’d been holding out for too long, but the mixture of the other 14 girls refusing to come back and Alexia’s injury had been enough of a motivation for Vilda to try and ruin your life. It had started with extra training after your sessions, then sessions in the mornings, then separating you from the rest of the team, limiting your diet, gym sessions, changing your schedules to everybody elses, punishing you for nothing, treating you like you were a slave to the Spanish Women’s team.
You were the best midfielder they had, excluding Alexia, and she was hurt, you were the scapegoat for the team, you were responsible for the wins and the reason for the losses.
You knew that with your leave, somebody else would end up taking your role, probably Aitana who was far to young to deal with that kind of pain, and you felt bad, you felt more guilty than you thought possible, but you couldnt do it for any longer, you couldn’t act like it wasn’t killing you on the inside for every second that you spent away with those people.
You hated it, you hated feeling like nothing, you hated feeling worthless, you hated living your life like it was pointless, you couldn’t do it for any longer, not when you were giving up every single part of yourself to keep yourself together.
You couldn’t stay how you were, crying in the drivers seat of your car milling over the memories of your last camp, you needed to leave, needed to go somewhere, needed to talk somebody.
Before you really knew what you were doing you’d started driving, letting the tears drip onto your lap and the steering wheel as you frantically drove your way through the city.
You couldn’t be alone, but you also couldn’t handle all the eyes of your teammates, so you drove to the one other place that you could think of where you hoped somebody would be.
You tried your hardest to wipe the tears from your face, but they kept falling, the sleeve of your shirt getting damper by the second as you tried to wipe up the evidence of your breakdown. It was useless, and eventually you gave up, stepping out of your car and ducking your head as you walked towards the lift and navigated your way through the apartment building.
The person you were looking for didn’t answer the door, instead you were put face to face with Olga.
“Hola chica, Ale didn’t tell me she was expecting visitors.”
You bit down on your lip, tapping your foot against the floor as you peeked around Olga, searching for the person you were seeking out.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell her, I can go home, I know she’s been busy with her rehab, I don’t even know how I ended up here.”
Olga tugged at your arm before you could spit anything else out, tugging you through the door and closing it from behind you.
“Nonsense chica, you’re very welcome here, Alexia is sitting out on the balcony doing her exercises, she’ll be more than happy to have your company, just head on through, your always welcome here.”
You nodded at Olga, smiling at her as much as you could with your lip still stuck between your teeth.
“Thank you, thank you so much, I really appreciate.”
You tried to ignore the tears that were still dripping down your face, it didn’t feel like you were crying, even though you were, it more felt like you were shedding a layer of yourself, the layer that was holding all of the trauma that you’d been holding in, like it was your way of getting rid of it all.
Alexia’s apartment was meticulously clean as ever, but you spotted her out in the sun easily.
She was standing outside, in a pose similar to ones you did in your yoga sessions.
She looked at peace, like she was calm, like she was serene, the complete polar opposite to how you felt and you really didn’t want to burden her with your problems, but you were here now anyways.
You tiptoed over to the glass sliding door, pushing it open, causing Alexia’s head to peak up at you. She looks at you with curiosity, but doesn;t move, instead her head nods you towards one of the outdoor lounges beside her, which you beeline for.
She stays in her position as she addresses you.
“The appointment with your lawyer didn’t go well then?”
You did a double take as you stared at Alexia, shocked at the information she’d somehow managed to obtain.
“You don’t take me for a idiota do you? Mapi told me you had a appointment you were keeping quiet about this morning, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out who it must have been with, considering recent events. Although your girlfriend wasn’t smart enough to work it out herself.”
Alexia stayed in her stretch, looking at you as if to prompt you to tell her more.
“Yes, I had a appointment with my lawyer, Alexia.”
Alexia smirked to herself, she was one of the most obersvanet people you knew, nothing got by her, you weren’t all that surprised to find out that this hadn’t.
“You’ll be joining the group then?”
You hadn’t really comes to terms with it, let alone saying it out loud.
“That’s the plan, should be official by tomorrow.”
Tears were still dripping down your face, you couldn’t find yourself caring though.
“Good for you. You deserve better, we all deserve better, may we all hopefully make a change.”
Alexia wasn’t officially a part of the movement, but she was everyway besides a signature as equally involved as everybody else.
“It just feels like i’m letting the team down, that I’m letting everyone down.”
Alexia nodded at you, finally coming out of her stretch and walking over to sit down next to you.
“You’re doing what’s good for you chica, your doing something that is going to make you happier, that is going to make your life better. Nobody else matters beyond that, trust me.”
Alexia looked at you, like she was genuinely struggling to help you out in the moment. She had been your mentor at Barca for forever, you seeked out her advice more than anybody elses, especially in this moment.
“I don’t know how to do it anymore, it’s like he was trying to ruin my fucking life, like his whole purpose for everyday was to make my life a living hell, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t walk around camp acting like it was fine, I couldn’t smile at cameras and talk to the press and tell them about how great I was feeling when it was all lies, all I wanted to do was leave, or sleep, or die, all because of his and his staff. They were hardly feeding me, hardly letting me sleep, hardly giving me a break and expecting me to perform at the same level as everybody else, if not better. I just couldn’t do it anymore Ale, it was too much.”
Alexia’s arm placed itself on your knee, squeezing your covered skin.
“You shouldn’t have to, you needed to leave and you did, you made the right decision chica, you made a impossible decision that will make your life 100 times easier, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you so incredibly brave for being able to identify that you were being treated wrongly and that you needed to remove yourself from that space.”
The tears kept falling, your pants were slowly becoming soaked with the raw emotion.
“Mapi did it because of the abuse, because she had a legitimate reason, I’m leaving because they worked me a little bit harder than everybody else, it feels like I’m overreacting.”
You could feel Alexia rolling her eyes from beside you.
“Really? Has Mapi told you that?”
Mapi had told you that you deserved the world, you deserved everything you wanted, you deserved to be treated like a queen, not how the RFEF was treating you. She’d told you the decision was yours, that she would support you no matter what you did, but she’d also told you that after every camp you came back with a little bit less of yourself, that Vilda was stripping parts of you away to use at his mercy.
“It’s not the same thing, Patri, Pina, Mapi, they all have good reasons, they’ve all been hurt, Vilda is just trying to make me better, trying to make me worthy.”
Alexia’s hand squeezed tighter.
“You’re lying to yourself and you know it. As long as he is in charge, you aren’t going to get treated how you deserve, none of us are. We’ve all paid our dues, yet they don’t give a shit, they break us all down until we’ve got nothing left to give. They broke me down until I did my acl, if you hadn’t of left they would have done the same to you. It’s nonstop, even if it isn’t the same kind of abuse as Mapi, it’s still abuse, they still rip out every part of you in the process. Each time you come back you have less of yourself to offer, but they keep taking, and taking, they make us feel nothing. It’s a waste, it’s a waste of the wonderful life we’ve all been gifted. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to be free of the pain.”
You nodded your head, you’d been avoiding telling Mapi about all of this. You were conscious that she was still working through a lot of her own trauma, and you didn’t want to reopen scars that were only just beginning to heal.
“I don’t know what to do Ale, I sign the papers, I write the letters and I’m taking a stand, I’m trying to make a change. I stay, I wreck it all, but I keep my career. It feels like I’m at a crossroads with myself, and I can’t talk about it weith Maps because god forbid shes already been through enough with her own struggle through it all, she doesn’t need me on top of that.”
Alexia stood back up, getting back onto her mat and pushing herself into another stretch, all whilst she maintained eye contact with you.
“Mapi’s talked to you about her struggles, si? She’s burdening you with her own problems, yet it doesn’t feel that way, because you love her and you’d do anything to make her pain less. I guarantee she’d feel the exact same way. You’ve been through a lot, none of us will ever be able to completely comprehend what you’ve been through, but if you started talking to your loved ones about it we’d be able to support you better. Or a therapist, I know Barca has been giving you sessions, but I mean a real psychologist, not just a person who tells you that you need a day off. You need somebody to help you, to actually make you feel like you deserve better than how they treated you, because I know that you know that but I don’t think you really believe it.”
The tears were slowly coming to a standstill, slipping less frequently down your face as Alexia talked to you.
“I don’t want to make her hurt any more than she already has.”
Alexia just looked at you, with that double eyebrow raise and little crinkle in her forehead.
“If you think that Maria wouldn’t do anything for you, even if it meant sucking every single inch of pain from your body and putting it into hers, she would do it and she would do it with a smile on her face. Her whole world, her whole solar system revolves around you and she’d want you to talk to her about this. She knows better than anybody else what you’re experiencing, she’s literally been where you are, so why not talk to her about it?”
It was true, for as long as Mapi and you had been together she’d tried to fix every single thing, she would do anything to make you feel better, this didn’t feel the same though.
“She deserves to live in a world where Vilda, where the RFEF, don’t affect her anymore. She signed the petition, she’s cleaned her hands of it all, and I should have done it with her, but I didn’t. I chose to keep playing for the benefit of my career, because I was greedy and decided that a Ballon D’or and any kind of accolade I was a shot at was more important then taking a stand and I hate it. I hate that now that I’ve won things that suddenly it’s all hit me that I don’t like what’s been happening, and I don’t want to support it. Mapi doesn’t deserve to go through it a second time, all because I was greedy.”
Alexia switched sides on her stretch, the sun was radiating off of her olive skin and her blonde hair, she looked ethereal.
“Have you told her anything about it?”
Alexia was frowning, like she was shocked by your actions.
“She knows that I was struggling at camp, she told me I was welcome to talk to her. After the last one she knew something had changed, she told me she was worried and I shook her off, because I thought she was being overprotective, but she was right, she had reason to be worried, I wasn’t okay. I’m not okay, i don’t know how to process it all.”
Alexia nodded.
“Go home, tell her what’s happening, see what she says, I think it’ll be a lot better than whatever you’ve thought up. Mapi has been my bestfriend for years, she’s dated my sister, she’s dated my friends and I can confidently tell you that she loves you more than any of them, you’re her do or die, all she’ll want to do is support you, please just go and talk to her.”
Alexia looked at you with such conviction and honesty that you couldn’t find it in you to try and fight her on the topic.
“Thank you Ale, I needed this, I needed to talk to somebody, needed to feel less crazy.”
Alexia did one last stretch before standing up, pulling you into a tight hug before you could pull away.
“You’re not crazy chica, you’re going through a very real, very hard time, and you deserve to have the people around you show you how much they love you.”
Alexia let go of you, shoving you back towards the door.
“Go talk to your girl, and sign those papers, and be happy, enjoy life, enjoy peace. You deserve it, chica.”
You nodded into Alexia’s shoulder, letting go of her and slipping back into her apartment, leaving her to get back to her stretching.
You shivered when you spotted Mapi’s car already parked in her spot. You knew you’d be cutting it close with getting home earlier then her, but you’d held a silent hope that you would be the first home. You hesitated to exit your car, scared of what the inside of your apartment held. You weren’t scared so much, more a little bit tentative of the conversation that you were about to have, knowing that it could majorly impact your relationship. In your heart, you knew that Mapi would love you no matter what, but it didn’t calm the nerves inside of you as you pulled your keys from the ignition, pulled out the papers that your lawyer had given you and exited your car.
The whole walk from your car, to the elevator and then down the hallway to your apartment had your heart thrumming inside of your chest. Your hands were quite literally shaking as you pushed your key into the door.
You toed your shoes off at the door, slotting them down beside the door before slowly walking your way through the entrance. It wasn’t hard to find Mapi, she was right in front of you, sitting down at the island bench, patting Bagheera and eating a post training salad. You knew that there was one meant for you still sitting on the shelf of your fridge, from when the two of you had meal planned yesterday. She looked so undisturbed, with the afternoon light coming in through the gaps in the blinds and the general silence that you were about to break.
You announce yourself by slinging your bag down against the wall, a loud enough noise that seems to wake Mapi from her happy daze.
She smiles as soon as her eyes set on you and it only makes the weight in your gut feel ten times heavier and the pain in your heart ten times worse.
You wanted to turn around and walk right back out the door you’d just walked through, but you couldn’t, not with the way that Mapi looked at you, like her whole day had been made by your appearance.
“Hola bebita, how was your meeting?”
Mapi’s smiling ear to ear, quite literally, you swear you can see every single one of her teeth. It had hurt you to lie to Mapi about where you were going today, telling her that you’d had a crucial appointment with your manager about some media things, it wasn’t a direct lie. You had met with your manager, instead of it being positive though, it had been quite the opposite.
You didn’t have any words to reiterate to Mapi, so instead you just picked up the papers that were tucked away in your hands and placed them down on the island infront of her.
Mapi looked at you with confusion for a few seconds.
“Just read them, you’ll understand it more once you have.”
Mapi didn’t hesitate, picking up the first piece of paper and scanning over it, before moving onto the second, then the third and so on, till she’d made it through the entire stack.
You stood anxiously on your toes the whole time, balancing from one foot to the other as you contemplated how Mapi was going to reply to this sudden change.
When she did finish, she looked up at you, a lot of questions hidden behind her curious eyes.
“I’m resigning, or requesting they don’t call me up. I don’t want to play for a federation that doesn’t care about me. I’m sorry I didn’t do it earlier, but I wasn’t ready and I’m sorry I’m bother you with it now but I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you about it earlier, I met with my lawyer for the first time today to sign the documents and write my statement. If it all goes to plan then they should be out in the next week. I don’t want to do it anymore, I can’t do it anymore, I’m sorry.”
Mapi blinked a few times, like you’d just blindsided her completely, and you figured you had.
“I didn’t even really know it was happening until after last camp, and I just realised that I was so exhausted and so tired and so sick of it all that I couldn’t do it again. I should have done it earlier, I should have been a part of it all from the start but I was scared and I still am scared Maps. This is supposed to be my job, I’m supposed to be grateful for the opportunities I’m given and yet I feel like I’m a fraud and I’m lying when I say that because I’m not grateful and I’m not happy and I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t. I’ve been praying every night that I get injured, so that I get a break like Ale, and I don’t want to feel like that anymore.”
Mapi just stood up and pulled you into her arms, silencing the rambling and making you realise that you were now crying again.
She slowly led you towards the couch, bringing you into her arms as you tried to take control of yourself.
It felt like every piece of anguish, every piece of fear, every piece of internal hatred was slowly being pulled from your body and it felt so good, like you were somehow being healed.
Mapi wiated until you were coherent enough, until you felt more resurfaced, and less like the bloodn was rushing through your ears and every though of self-doubt was spirally through the different ridges of your brain.
“Princesa, you’ve made this decision for you, si? Not because of me, not because of anybody else, because you believe this is best for you?”
You nodded into her chest, enjoying the feeling of your own skin pressed directly to hers.
“I’m sick of them making me feel this way Maps, I don’t like it, I don’t think it’s right.”
Mapi’s body was surrounding you, her scent, her feel, her everything, and it was all you’d needed today, everything that Alexia had assured you would make you feel better.
Mapi’s salad was forgotten on the counter.
Bagheera was somewhere else.
It was just the two of you, just the two of you to face everything.
“We’re put into boxes, as women, men try to make us be everything and yet nothing. It’s not right, we’re expected to be as good as the men, but we have to behave eloquently, say our pleases and thank yous and never be ungrateful for the piss poor conditions we put up with. We’re supposed to be passionate, but we’re not allowed to over react in any way. We can only underperform, not overperform. There are no expectations for us, because we’re women and we’re supposed to be worse than the men, but they’re are also so many expectations for us to meet. It’s okay for you to be done with that, there is nothing wrong with you saying no to constantly being abused. You’re not a fraud bebita and I’m here for you no matter what. You’re my girlfriend first, a person second and a soccer player last. It doesn’t matter, none of it matters, you matter, you’re feelings and how you feel is what matters.”
Mapi’s hand pulled your head from her neck, her lips connecting with your forehead with ease.
“I’m not doing it anymore Maps. I want to be strong, I want to say no. I want to be a part of the right side of history. I don’t want to sit around pretending everything’s fine when it’s not fine. It’s nowhere near fine and until there is a change it won’t be.”
Mapi nodded, pressing a series of kisses to your forehead.
“Then we’ll work it out, you’ll keep me in the loop and we’ll figure it out together, no more hiding these big feelings from me. We’ll go and see our therapists and take soe time off and do whatever you need to feel safe and happy, because what matters is you, nobody else, si?”
You nodded your head once again, enjoying the same smile that her face was covered in. her lips migrated down to your cheeks, pressing kisses to the rosiest parts, pushing the tears away.
“I’ve got you bebita, we’ve got each other, we’re going to be fine, we all are.”
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bandgie · 23 hours
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What Sub? - SKZ OT8
just me thinking about what kind of sub skz would like :p
MDNI 18+ | gen!reader
chan!
likes an obedient sub! chan is such a good dom and loves pleasing his sub, so he expects you to be on your best behavior. that saying, he doesn't mind if you get a little shy or pout a little. maybe even give him a little bit of a hard time, but it can't be often. chan overall needs a good sub that he can pump his load into
minho!
he likes a teasing sub or a slight playful masochist. one that can put up with his antics and a little bit of back n forth. not a full on brat because he would get sick of that attitude real quick, but a few ass slaps and hair pulling never hurt no one. i do think he would want his sub to be more on the obedient side, but it's okay to have a little fun with him too
changbin!
power bottom!! he needs a power bottom!! he's a pleasure dom 100% and can't say no to his baby. you can take take take and he'll give give give!! you can be a little mean to him too, but he needs lots of kisses after. doesn't care what position you put him in as long as he gets to see you cum your brains out. however, there is fine line with him. it's rare, but sometimes you cross it and bin has to put you in your place, and he hatesss making you cry but when you're being a bad sub he needs to show you.
hyunjin!
he loves a devoted sub. basically someone who completely submits and does everything he says. like chan? but way more emotional and no room for disobedience at all. he loves seeing how happy and relaxed you are when he's doing his thing. hyunjin is also a pleasure dom, but he still likes to be in control. if you do break a rule, it's honestly a turn off. accidents happen and yeah maybe you get into it a little too much, but it's when it's purposeful and results in him feeling bad. Hyunjin's a good boy, and it's only fair he has a good sub
han!
is it possible for both of you to be subs...because hannie goes crazy for that. desperate sex is so in his field, so I think a sexual submissive sub is really his thing. basically someone who would do anything and everything sexual for their dom. he wants to do an icky role play? his sub will gladly agree. he wants to be treated poorly? like a god? yes and yes, a sexual submissive will do anything for him. he loves that so much and just telling you what he wants to do and you happily agreeing has him leaking
felix!
this one is hard because I think Felix likes anybody, but imma have to say a service sub might be his fav. he gets to lay back n relax and he gets to cum?? sounds like a great night. it's not like he won't do anything for you, but the thought of having someone to make sure to milk his cock dry is so hot. if you do well, he'll reward you after. but right now, making sure you can see his chest turn pink and little tears build in his eyes is all you need to worry about.
seungmin!
i know it's gonna sound so basic, but a bratty sub. the resisting, the fight for power, the inventible submission...yeah he likes that. this type of play can't happen all the time. it's very draining and takes a mental/physical toll, but it's so damn fun. he loves when he pretends that you won, letting you pin his arms above his head and grinding on his cock to your liking until he's had enough and flips you over. gripping a fist full of your hair and shoving your face in the sheets as he fucks into you. muffling your cries and whimpers and - sorry I'll stop (aftercare goes crazy btw)
jeongin!
jeongin needs someone who listens really good, so a bedroom submissive is the way to go. they're really similar to a service sub, but it usually involves a little bit of pain and being submissive only takes place in the bedroom whereas a service sub is usually someone who likes being a good sub outside of the sheets. jeongin likes seeing you turn into a different person during sex. getting to flip you in different positions, spitting in your mouth, making you please him, making you take how much he pleases you. possibilities are endless and he thinks it's a healthy balance between personal and social life
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yoongi fucking his girlfriend raw for the first time and her telling him to cum inside because she wants his babies
First time
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a/n: as the request did not have many specifications I went straight to the point, hope you don't mind 😣. warnings: Breeding kink, a little bit soft, in fact there are not many warnings, it is quite soft. wc: 1.1k taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @zent9 @superbbananananana
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"Shit" you moaned, squirming on your sheets as you felt Yoongi's fingers touch the exact spot that made the knot in your belly get tighter and tighter, although, come to think of it, it could also be due to Yoongi's tongue teasing your clit.
"I haven't done this in a long time" he whispered, straightening up as he pulled his fingers from inside you and licked them. During all that time he didn't take his eyes off you and your body. "Do you think you're lubed up enough to get my cock in?".
"Yes" you sighed, resting a hand on your chest in an attempt to calm your heartbeat. It wasn't very helpful, but at least you tried. You turned your head toward your nightstand, reaching your shaking arm toward the drawer to pull out a condom. You frowned as you felt Yoongi's hand stop you quickly, "What's wrong?" you turned to look at him, returning your arm to its place.
"It's just..." he scratched the back of his neck, grimacing with his mouth. His cheeks were barely tinged with a pastel pink color you'd seen once or twice when he felt too embarrassed, "could we, you know, do it without a condom? Only if you want to" he hastened to clarify, avoiding looking you in the eye.
"It's okay" you cupped his cheeks, caressing them gently, "we've been together for years, and I doubt that with one time anything will happen" you smiled at him as reassuringly as you could, hoping you could convey that feeling to him.
"God, I love you so much," he settled between your legs, moving down until he was face to face with you, "I don't think you can imagine how much I do," he kissed your jaw, leaving a trail of kisses running all the way from where he started to your bra.
"Then show me how much you love me" you whispered in his ear, hugging his neck and pulling him even closer to you. You shivered slightly as you felt his breath collide against your chest.
"Oh believe me, I will" he laughed softly, gently pushing the tip of his cock inside you. You both moaned before the skin to skin contact. It was your first time doing this, and although it felt strange, it was a sensation you definitely wouldn't regret feeling. "How is it possible that after all these years you're still so tight?" he growled over your collarbones, leaving a mark right in the center.
"Don't ask, just enjoy it" You tried to laugh, but were quickly interrupted by a lunge from Yoongi.
If there was one thing that characterized Yoongi in sex, it was that he would never start soft and gentle. He liked to go straight to his climax point, feel as much as possible in the shortest time and repeat it over and over again until he was satisfied. That was your Yoongi.
"Feels good" he murmured against your skin, pounding your pussy hard. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face as he heard you moan loudly the moment the tip of his cock hit your G-spot. He loved how you reacted every time he found that sensitive spot.
"Fuck" you brought your hands to his hair, pulling on it to keep yourself grounded. You let your head fall back, giving Yoongi the opportunity to lick, bite and mark your neck as he pleased. 
Yoongi moaned as he felt your walls clench around him tightly, clinging to your hips as if his life depended on it. It would probably leave marks, but he didn't care right now, neither you nor him.
"I love the feel of you squeezing my cock," he said as he closed his eyes and concentrated on increasing the speed of your onslaught. His hand gently caressed the marks he had left on your neck, causing a soft sigh to escape your lips.
"More" you moaned, moving your hands down from his hair to his shoulders, burying your deep red nails into his skin. 
"More?" he teased back, taking one of your legs and pulling it up his shoulder. You moaned loudly as you felt his cock go even deeper than it was before. "Shit, Y/N, you're so sensitive" he laughed, moving his hand down to your womanhood to take your clit between his fingers and play with it as he pleased.
You hunched your back to him, closing your eyes tightly. The knot in your stomach was becoming more and more unbearable and you weren't sure how much longer you could continue. "Yoonie" you whimpered between moans, looking up at him with misty eyes and dilated pupils.
"It's okay, it's okay, I've got you" he bent down a little, just enough to kiss your cheek, "do it as soon as you're ready."
You nodded awkwardly, starting to move your hips against his so you could get your long desired release. The moment you came your whole body trembled from the spasms, and you almost melted as you felt Yoongi embrace you as carefully as possible with the intention of regulating your body's movement. 
"That's it, fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Yoongi closed his eyes, concentrating on how good your tight, wet pussy felt. He was so immersed in the sensation that he almost forgot he wasn't wearing a condom. "Shit" he whispered, trying to get out of your pussy as quickly as possible. He moaned in surprise as he felt you imprison his hips with your legs. You still looked a little tired from your recent orgasm, but apparently you were determined not to let it out. "Honey, I'm going to come soon, I need-".
"Cum inside" you whispered, moving your hips against his, "I want you to come inside, I want to have your baby."
And that broke Yoongi for a few seconds. Only for a few seconds, because almost instantly he reacted and brought his mouth to yours in search of a desperate kiss. You gasped as you felt Yoongi's thrusts get deeper and stronger, and only moments later, you felt his cum spill inside you as you swallowed your boyfriend's moans with the kiss.
You both fell silent after finishing. You kept your eyes closed and your hand in his hair, he, for his part, had his head resting on your chest, caressing your waist with his fingertips. "Y/N?"
"Yes?" you whispered, giving a yawn. Fucking Yoongi always wore you out, even though he was the one doing most of it.
"We're going to need a lot more cum if you want a baby, you know that?" he chuckled above your ear, moving his hand down to your center, caressing your sensitive area.
You whimpered as you felt his intentions bump against your inner thigh, "We just finished."
"The night is still long" he nodded, kissing you passionately as he straightened back up on top of you.
He definitely wasn't going to let you sleep tonight.
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Materlist.
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Noise Complaint (Chris)
Request: none
Warnings: secret relationship, semi public sex(hotel room), protective triplets, slightly possessive chris, degradation, filming/pictures, praise kink, daddy kink, getting caught by a fan, being found out by Matt and Nick, super rough sex, dom!chris, lingerie, choking, slapping, spanking, oral(male receiving), cum swallowing, creampie, facefucking, hair pulling, choking, maybe more idk
A/N: this was written when they were on the versus tour which is why it obviously mentions the tour
Y/n’s pov
We were going into week three of the boys’ tour and it was getting increasingly harder for Chris and I to hide the fact that we’re dating. Nobody knew, not even his brothers or Madi, who’s my best friend. At home, it’s a lot easier to hide the fact that we’re dating because Chris and I have always been super close, so us going to “hang out” alone wasn’t abnormal. Thankfully I was invited to go on tour with them since Madi couldn’t go this time, meaning I would have to share one of the two rooms with one of the triplets. You’d probably expect me to be sharing a room with Nick, which I wouldn’t mind considering he’s one of my best friends, but Chris had managed to convince both Matt and Nick to let him sleep in the same room with me by claiming he needs to cuddle with someone when he’s not sleeping in his own house. Since we’d usually get one room with two beds and the other with only one bed, neither Nick nor Matt wanted to have to share a bed or cuddle with Chris so they had “forced” me to be the one sharing a bed with Chris. Not that I was complaining anyways.
This was basically the only time when we could be completely alone however, Matt and Nick always had the room next to us meaning we could never have sex if fear of them hearing us. Luckily for us, the hotel we were staying at tonight only had rooms on separate floors. Currently, we were at the venue getting ready for the meet and greet as we just finished the show, everyone was still dressing in the color for their team. My color being red, I wore black cargo pants with white stitching, a red belt, a red corset top, and red Jordans, I paired my outfit with some silver jewelry and some basic makeup, adding winged eyeliner and red lipstick. As soon as I walked out of my dressing room, Chris pushed me back into it, “You look so fucking hot right now babe, I don’t know how I’m gonna control myself out there.” he said trying to go in for a kiss but I had to swerve it. Chris started pouting as I said “Sorry handsome, I don’t want to get any lipstick on you. We don’t want anyone to find out we’re dating, remember?” “Yeah, yeah, I just don’t know how I’m going to control myself out there because if I’m being honest, all I want to do right now is rip your clothes off and fuck you.” he said as we walked towards the door to leave.
We met back up with Nick and Matt as we all walked out to the meet and greet area and started taking pictures with fans. There was this one guy who came up to me and started flirting, I could tell that Chris was irritated but it’s not like he could do anything about it. “You’re hot, can I get your number and take you out to dinner? You know, maybe I can get you away from these boys and show you what I can do.” the guy said, making me slightly uncomfortable. Luckily for me, Nick saw this and came over to us “Hey man, can you not talk to her like that and move on to she can take pictures with non-creepy people? Thanks.” he said shooing him away. The guy did leave, but Chris still kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye to make sure nobody else bothered his girl.
After the meet and greet, we had all decided to go get dinner at a restaurant, and guess who just so happened to be our waiter? The creepy guy from earlier, and I think all the boys could tell he was making me uncomfortable. Due to this Nick ordered for me so I wouldn’t have to talk to him and we got threw dinner without an incident, well except for when we got our receipt, which had his number on it. I could literally feel the jealousy radiating off of Chris as we waited for our Uber, “Chris what’s wrong? You look super pissed off, are you okay?” Matt had asked him. “I’m fine, I just want to be at the hotel already.” Chris replied through gritted teeth making both his brothers give him a weird look before we got inside the Uber and went back to the hotel. Laura had met us in the lobby, handing us our room keys and telling us our room numbers as all five of us piled in the elevator. Laura got off first, then Matt and Nick, as soon as the doors closed Chris grabbed my hand, “I don’t like people flirting with you, I wanna punch them all in the face.” he said while rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand as we walked to our room
As soon as we got inside our bedroom, Chris pushed me up against the door “I want my fucking kiss now, you’ve had me so hard all day.” he said before capturing my lips in a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his hair as our kiss turned into a heavy makeout. He started pressing his body against mine so I could feel how hard he was before he pulled away, “I’ve been waiting to do that all day. God, Y/n/n you look so hot in this outfit, shit I never thought you wearing red lipstick would make me so fucking hard, you’re gonna have to start wearing it more often.” Chris told me. I had a little surprise for him, I had just been waiting for when we could get the chance to fuck on tour, I bought it at one of our stops after hearing Chris say I looked hot in red a million times. “Would you do me a favor?” I asked him in a seductive voice, continuing to speak after he nodded “Can you go stand in the bathroom for like five minutes, please? It’ll be worth it, I promise you’ll like it.” “Ughhh you know I don’t like surprises!” he whined. “You’ll like this one I promise!” I told him as I shoved him into the bathroom, I quickly went to change into a pair of red heels and a lacy red lingerie set before quickly reapplying some lipstick.
I sat down on the edge of the bed before telling Chris he could come out, “This better not be som- holy fuck!” he cut himself off as he stopped dead in his tracks a few feet away from me. “Do you like it, baby?” I asked innocently, he was at a loss for words, only being able to mutter out a delayed “Uh-huh, really like it…” as I stood up and walked over to him. Chris couldn’t stop staring at every move I made, I grabbed his hand and led him over to sit on the bed. He slid off his shirt and shoes as his eyes continued to scan my body, “Are you just going to sit there and stare at me or are you going to use me like I planned on letting you?” I said as I traced my finger across his jawline, tilting his head up to look at me. His lips were wet and red as he kept licking and biting at them and his eyes were so blown out that you could barely see a small sliver of blue.
Chris quickly stood up to take his pants off before sitting against the headboard, pulling me with him “As much as I love those heels, Imma need to take them off because you’re gonna be real uncomfortable wearing those in a bit.” he said making me take them off, instantly pulling me onto his lap when I was done. He grabbed the back of my head before smashing our lips together in a hot and needy kiss, he swiped his tongue across my bottom lip while pulling me hair causing me to gasp, giving him a chance to slide his tongue into my mouth. Chris suck and licked my tongue and lips, letting out a deep groan when I started slowly grinding on him, his hands quickly making their way down to my ass with a tight grip. He slowly pulled away biting my lip, “God, I’m gonna fuck you so hard tonight! You’re gonna be so full my cum like the filthy little whore you are, gotta show you who you fucking belong to after that guy flirted with you today!” he growled into my ear.
I knew he was serious when he said I’d be filled with his cum considering neither of us had cum since tour started. I started trailing kisses down his neck and chest, disappointed that I couldn’t leave any hickies “Look like such a slut right now, wish I could take pictures and shit because you look fucking hot.” Chris groaned. I stopped kissing his body and looked at him from between his legs with an innocent smile “Who said you couldn’t? You can take videos of me sucking your cock or fucking me for all I care.” When I said that Chris groaned and his cock twitched. You could tell he was constantly dripping precum from the growing wet patch on his gray boxers. After a second he stood up and grabbed my wrist, dragging me with him before he grabbed his phone out of his pants “Get on your fucking knees for me, I’m taking you up on that offer.” he said while caressing my face before pushing me onto my knees.
He pushed down his boxers, stepping out of them before he tapped his cock against my lips, I quickly opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out waiting for him to put it in my mouth. He placed his thick cock onto my tongue before thrusting into my mouth, pushing some hair out of face while I sucked on the tip. “Can I really record you baby?” he asked while caressing my face, I pulled off of him for a second, using my hand to continue to stroke him. “Yes baby, you can record it and take pictures of whatever you want tonight.” I told him before deep throating him, Chris let out a loud groan before he started to record me. I looked up at the camera innocently as I started sucking him off “Put your hands behind your, I’m gonna fuck that pretty little face of yours.” he said as he placed his hand on the back of my head.
I placed my hands behind my back as Chris started slowly thrusting his cock into my mouth, I hollowed out my cheeks making him let out a low groan. He started fully fucking my face roughly causing me to gag when his tip would hit the back of my throat. I started to whine and moan against him when he started fisting my hair and pulling it, the constant abuse of my throat combined with him pulling my hair caused tears to start falling down my face. “God, you look so pretty like this for me! Next time I’m gonna cum all over your slutty face!” he grunted out, making me whine around him again. I felt his cock twitch before his grip on my hair got tighter and he’s thrusts grew erratic. “You gonna let me cum down your slutty little throat baby?” he asked, I moaned around him as a response before his hips sputtered.
Chris shoved my face down so his cock was literally down my throat, my nose pressed against his pubic bone. “Fuck baby, so good for me.” he praised as he came before pulling out of my mouth. “Open your mouth for me.” he said making me quickly oblige, showing him my mouth full of cum. “Swallow.” I did as he said, sticking my tongue out to show him I did what he asked before he stopped the video. After he caught his breath he helped me stand up, “As hot as you look in this I need it off, right now.” he growled helping me take the lingerie off. Once Chris had helped me undress, he cupped my face in his hands to wipe the dried tears and mascara off my cheeks. Chris sat up against the headboard again, telling me to sit on his lap. He grabbed my throat to pull me into another rough kiss harshly sucking on my tongue, groaning when he felt my wetness spread across his cock, which was already hard again.
Quickly flipping us over, pushing my right leg up against my chest before slamming into me. I let out a loud moan as he gave me no time to adjust before he was pounding into me. “Fuck, so goddamn tight for me! You like being treated like a slut don’t you? Such a good girl.” he grunted as I scratched my nails done his back. “Yes! Yes, your good girl daddy! Please, so good!” I moaned incoherently. “Please what baby? What do you want?” he asked me but I couldn’t explain what I wanted as he was pounding into me so roughly and it felt so good. Since I was whining and moaning so much I just grabbed his hand, making him lightly slap my face. “You want me to hit you? God, you’re such a kinky whore!” he loud groaned before actually slapping my face making me let out an extremely loud, high pitched moan as I came around him. Chris grabbed my jaw harshly, getting closer to my face “Fucking bitch! I didn’t say you could cum, you didn’t even fucking ask!” he growled at me before slapping me again as I cried out, quickly becoming overstimulated. “Open your damn mouth!” I did as he said before Chris spit into my mouth making me whine “Fucking swallow bitch!” he said and I quickly obliged.
Me and Chris have never had such rough sex before but we were both living for it, not even registering the fact that we were in a hotel room and the people next to us could probably hear our moans. Chris suddenly pulled out making me whimper, “Hands and knees slut.” he ordered and I quickly did as he said. He pushed on my back making me arch it before he licked from my clit all the way to my ass hole, loudly groaning as he pulled away. “I’m gonna fuck your tight ass one day and you’re gonna let it happen.” he said before slapping my ass. “Chris please, need your cock back inside me.” I begged “You’re fucking greedy aren’t you?” he asked rhetorically as he ran his tip through my folds teasingly.
Chris then started thrusting into me at a slow pace, “Faster daddy, please!” I asked in a whine voice. He started thrusting quickly and hard, his nails digging into my hips as a form of leverage. Both of us were being extremely loud at this point since this new angle felt amazing, he had leaned forward to play with my nipples. He knew my nipples were extremely sensitive so he used that to his advantage, relishing in the fact that he was the only person to make me feel this way. With the combination of Chris playing with my nipples, aggressive thrusts, and loud groans he was letting in my ear were getting me extremely close to cumming again. “Mmm please can I cum daddy? Feels s-so good don’t stop! F-Fuck please!” I cried out making Chris let out an almost animalistic growl in my ear. “You can cum but I’m not fucking stopping!” he said moving one of his hands to my throat. I came around his cock for the second time tonight, crying as I was extremely overstimulated.
Chris pulled back to sit up straight again on his knees when suddenly our hotel phone started to ring. He slowed down his thrust, making me whine before going to pick up the phone. “Be quiet baby.” he told me, still slowly pumping in and out of me, Chris cleared his throat before actually answering the phone. “Um hello?” he asked confused, I started thrusting back against him causing Chris to completely stop moving and slap my ass harshly. “Uh oh okay, y-yea. I’m s-sorry.” he replied to whatever the person on the other end of the phone said before hanging up. Slapping my ass one time before flipping me over, looking down at me with a stupid smile. “We just got a noise complaint, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop. It just means you need to shut the fuck up!” he laughed before thrusting back into me.
Chris once again started thrusting into me but this time he smashed our lips together in an attempt to stifle my moans. These thrusts weren’t as rough as before, but they were still quite fast as we were both nearing our orgasms. We pulled away for just a second, Chris saying “Shit baby are you close? Because I’m about to fucking cum in you!” I just nodded in response not wanting to be loud again. He brought his hand down to rub my clit in fast, tight circles as he pressed our lips together again. After a few more thrusts, I was cumming around his cock with a whine, this caused Chris to cum as well. Filling me up before slowly pulling out, using his fingers to collect the cum dripping out of me only to shove them in my mouth a second later. He laid down next to me as we caught our breath for a minute.
Once our breath was back to normal Chris stood up before grabbing my hand and helping me up as well. My legs were trembling and it was kind of hard to stand but we silently walked over to the bathroom. Chris told me to pee while he turned the shower on, going back out into our room to grab our toothbrushes, my hair brush and, my makeup wipes before returning. We took a quick shower using the soaps that the hotel had in there before we got out. Chris wrapped one of the big white fluffy towels around me before grabbing another one for himself, I grabbed one of the smaller towels to wrap my hair in making chris giggle. “You look cute like that babe.” he said sarcastically as we got ready to brush our teeth. I used a makeup wipe to get the rest of my makeup off my face and some red smudges of lipstick off from around Chris’ lips. He insisted on blowing my hair so I didn’t argue and just let him do it since my legs were still shaky and I was tired.
Once we were done in the bathroom we went over to our suitcases to get changed, I wore an oversized shirt and panties while Chris just wore some boxers before we climbed into bed and went to sleep. We woke up at 7am as we needed to get back on the bus to drive to our next location, quickly getting dressed in some comfy clothes and brushing our teeth before gathering our things to meet Nick, Matt, and Laura in the lobby. Unfortunately for us, we walked out at the same time as the person from next door that made the noise complaint. We were just going to ignore her until she said our names, “Y/n? Chris? You guys were the ones fucking extremely loud next door?” she asked making us both blush and turn around. Chris awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before sheepishly nodding “Oh my god are you guys dating!? That’s so cute I love it! Oh shit did I ruin your night last night?” the fan said super fast.
“You can’t tell anyone about this!” Chris and I said at the same time, not wanting this to get out. “We don’t want anyone to know we’re dating yet, not even his brother know so could you please keep this private and between us?” I asked nervous. She agreed to do so as long as we followed her fan and main accounts on insta, which we obviously did before taking a quick picture with her. As we started to walk away, Chris turned around again “Oh and by the way, you didn’t ruin our night, you just made us realize we gotta be more quiet.” he said while laughing. We got into the elevator to go down to the lobby when Chris grabbed my waist and pulled me in for a quick passion kiss, pulling away right before the doors opened. Nick and Matt got into the elevator with us, Nick seemed to be oblivious but Matt gave us a weird look. “Why are you two blushing and shit?” he asked suspiciously, but luckily for us the elevator doors opened and we walked out to meet with Laura to go to the bus. Once we got settled in on the bus, Matt looked over to Nick before saying “You owe me 50 bucks, they’re definitely dating so pay up” making Chris and I blush.
“How do you know that? We’ve been so careful!” Chris exclaimed as Nick looked at us, irritated because he owes Matt money now, “I don’t know, maybe it’s the because she’s wearing your hoodie or the fact that you have pink lipgloss on your lips” Nick said. Both brothers started laughing but quickly stopped when Chris said “Well at least I scan do this more often” pulling me in for a quick kiss. Both boys gave us a cheesy smile as they were happy that we were finally dating before we all drifted back off to sleep.
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ellecdc · 18 hours
Text
All's Fair in Love & Chaos (III)
third instalment (read the first and second)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
“Okay, but I don’t think you’re properly considering my perspective on this.” James offered calmly. 
“Because your perspective is asinine and foolish.” Regulus spat back causing Remus and Peter to chuckle.
“Asinine and foolish… Regulus Arcturus Black, I’ve raised you better than this; quit speaking like such a ponce.” Sirius scolded, causing Regulus to glare at him.
“Your friend is the stupidest fucking wanker I’ve ever met in my life.” He corrected. 
Sirius brought a hand to his chest and looked at his brother adoringly. “I’ve never been more proud.” He whispered as he wiped a fake tear from under his eye. 
“I just think that two things that have eight legs ought to be closely related. I don’t think it’s outlandish to call an octopus a wet-spider.” James carried on level-headedly.
“Because they’re completely different phylums!” Regulus bellowed. 
“Okay but they’re definitely the same shape.” Peter added solemnly. 
“They are-” Regulus started, turning to look at Peter incredulously. “They are not the same shape! How are they the same shape?”
“Well, they’ve both got, like…their bodies? Right? And then they’ve got their legs just….all outward like. You know?” Peter explained, using his hands to represent said body and legs. 
“Salazars saggy balls.” Regulus muttered under his breath as he stood from the library table and gathered his things. “Je n'arrive pas à croire que je m'entoure de parfaits abrutis. Âme sœur ou pas, je ne peux pas continuer à vivre ainsi.”
Regulus continued muttering furiously under his breath as he made for the door causing Remus to let out a long suffering sigh and gather his own things. 
“Way to go, boys.” He sighed in faux admonishment. “You’ve put my soulmate in a bad mood.”
James muttered what sounded an awful lot like ‘well it’s not very hard now, is it?’ as Sirius quickly looked at his watch. “Oh shit! Is it four o’clock already?”
Remus opted to wait for Sirius as he carelessly shoved his untouched homework - that they had originally gone to the library to complete - before hurrying for the library door his brother had just exited. 
“What’s happening at four o'clock?” Remus asked as he caught the door Sirius had just allowed to close unceremoniously on one of his oldest friends. 
Both Sirius and Regulus grumbled - albeit for very different reasons - as Remus and Sirius stepped outside of the library where Regulus had been waiting for his boyfriend. 
“Must you bring your brigade of buffoons with you everywhere?” Regulus hissed at Remus who simply tsked at him and pulled him into his side. 
“Play nice, Reggie.” He murmured into Regulus’ hairline.
“Yeah; play nice Reggie.” Sirius mocked petulantly, earning him a swat up the back of the head from Remus.
“What’s happening at four o’clock?” Remus repeated as he professionally managed a potential level four sibling squabble between his best friend and his soulmate. 
“I have to meet with Y/N and Junior.” Sirius explained solemnly.
“You have your soulmate bond organised by a timetable?” Remus asked as a joke, pausing in his chuckles when he realised Sirius was being quite….serious. 
“It gets better.” Regulus added unhelpfully and unprompted as he followed Sirius and Remus (unwelcomely) to Sirius, Barty, and your meet-up spot. “They have to have supervised hand-offs.”
“Don’t call it a hand-off Regulus; she’s not some child in a divorce.” Sirius muttered petulantly.
“I agree, I rather think you and Junior are the children in this situation.” Regulus bit back with his nose in the air; Sirius wanted to break it.
He didn’t get the chance though, as Remus ushered the conversation along. “Why does it need to be supervised?”
“Because Junior kept trying to hex me when we’d meet up, and then when Y/N told him he couldn’t do that, he’d hide somewhere in the castle and I’d have to snag the map from your trunk to find them.”
“Who supervises these exchanges?” Remus carried on, but Sirius needn’t respond when they stepped into the courtyard where Barty, you, and Pandora were waiting near the fountain.
“Hello Sirius!” Pandora greeted brightly, causing Barty to scowl. 
“No fair! He’s not supposed to bring back up! I would have brought Evan!”
“It’s not back up Barty.” You argued exhaustedly, looking particularly mortified at the attendance at today’s exchange. 
“Hello, Junior.” Sirius bit out as politely as he could manage only to have the sod glare at him. 
“Is there something you’d like to say, Bartemus?” Pandora asked serenely.
“Yes. Get fucked Black.” He spat.
“That was perhaps my fault.” Pandora conceded. “Barty, say hello to Sirius.”
“Hello…..Sirius.” 
“Good job, Bartemus.” Pandora praised like he was a snotty little nursery school student. “Now say goodbye to Y/N.” 
Sirius heaved a sigh as he crossed his arms and shot Remus a look before watching Barty turn to you and pepper kisses all over your face; you - Merlin love you - looked like you were working really hard to fight your fight-or-flight instincts. 
“Now Treasure, if you get tired of him or need anything, just-”
“Barty, I’m fine.”
“I know you’re fine.” Barty conceded. “It’s him I’m worried about.”
“Barty.” You repeated; tone taking on a severity Sirius wasn’t accustomed to hearing from you. “It is Sirius, our soulmate…our soulmate. I will be fine, yeah?”
Properly chastised, Barty shot Sirius another glare before acquiescing and pressing one last kiss to your cheek before letting go of your wrists. 
You nodded gratefully at Pandora for her service and shot Remus and Regulus a wary look as you made your way across the courtyard. 
“Hello, gorgeous.” Sirius greeted you salaciously, causing you to flush impossibly further at the attention. 
“Sirius, please.” You begged.
“What?” Sirius scoffed in faux offence. “He’s allowed to make a fuss over you and I’m not?”
You groaned and stomped your foot a little bit as you allowed Sirius to take your hand in his. “You’re supposed to be more reasonable.”
“Fine.” Sirius relented as he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. “I can wait until we’re in the privacy of the dorm to fuss over you.”
You groaned in horror again when Remus laughed and Regulus grumbled at the thought of his brother fussing over anyone.
“I’m going to be attending poor Y/N’s funeral before I ever attend her soul-bond.” Remus joked as the four of you made your way back into the castle.
“Make sure it’s a nice funeral, yeah?” You asked him quietly. 
Remus barked a surprised laugh at that. “Consider it done.”
“And then send the bill to Junior.” Sirius added quickly, earning him an elbow in the ribs.
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royaltozaki · 2 days
Text
you can kiss a hundred boys in bars
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)
warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing
w/c: 6.4k
a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!
ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.
▂▂⌇
you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.
you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.
your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.
▂▂⌇
funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.
it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.
she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.
frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.
and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.
▂▂⌇
you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.
you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.
you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?
you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.
sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.
▂▂⌇
"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.
"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.
"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.
you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.
the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.
your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.
sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.
it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.
when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.
▂▂⌇
you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.
picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.
there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?
he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.
it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.
after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?
it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.
▂▂⌇
"y/n!"
you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.
she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.
"oh. who's this y/n?"
you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.
"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"
"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.
"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.
"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.
"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.
danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”
sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don’t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”
you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.
“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”
danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.
“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.
“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.
▂▂⌇
when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.
you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.
it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.
sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.
these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.
you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.
your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.
“hello?”
“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”
“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”
“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”
“i just woke up frank.”
“it’s 2pm.”
“yeah.”
you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.
no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.
frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.
▂▂⌇
you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.
you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.
it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too… nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.
though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.
“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.
you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”
she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”
it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.
“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”
the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.
“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”
you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.
you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.
so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.
you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.
“y/n?”
it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.
“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.
she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…
“what are you doing here?”
“i-i- u-um i-“
“how did you get my address?”
“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."
she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.
"...did you come here for something then?"
"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."
you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.
"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.
"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"
the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.
"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.
"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.
“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”
you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.
sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.
you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.
suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.
▂▂⌇
after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.
you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.
now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.
eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.
▂▂⌇
that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.
you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.
she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.
you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.
"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.
you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.
"why?"
you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.
"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."
you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.
"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.
"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."
sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"
"well... i- no but-"
"how is this time any different then y/n?"
"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.
you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.
"okay."
"okay?"
she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."
"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.
"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.
you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.
it took you only a month to break that promise.
▂▂⌇
"hi, frank's wife right?"
you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.
you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.
you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.
you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.
but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.
▂▂⌇
"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.
you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"
she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.
"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.
sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."
frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"
you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."
"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."
"aww thanks sana."
sana grins, digging into her food.
you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.
you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.
it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.
you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.
you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.
"why are you avoiding me?"
sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."
"yes you do."
"no i don't."
"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."
she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"
you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."
"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."
"what?"
"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."
the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"
"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.
"what do you mean?"
"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."
"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"
she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.
but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.
sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.
"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"
her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."
you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.
you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.
you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.
▂▂⌇
you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.
you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.
you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.
the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.
it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.
"do i know you from somewhere?"
you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."
"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"
you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.
"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."
you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.
"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."
momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.
"wedding?"
momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."
your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?
“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.
“i-i- yeah sorry.”
“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”
“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”
“yeah no problem.”
she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.
“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.
“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”
“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.
momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.
“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?
momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.
once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.
▂▂⌇
"what was that y/n?"
"what?"
"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"
you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"
"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."
"it's not that easy sana."
she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"
"i don't- no sana-"
"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"
"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"
"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."
"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"
"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.
you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.
she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.
"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."
"please sana, please just-"
"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"
you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.
your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”
sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.
you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.
“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“
you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.
“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”
she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”
“n-no sana please d-don’t-“
“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”
and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.
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bogleech · 2 days
Text
Guess I have to make a main thread about this. Someone decided to fight with me in the notes on this post just yesterday about Gaza and made select responses of mine into a callout thread here, where they say my anger towards the IDF is all a cover for antisemitism. This didn't make any sense, because they said they were also against the IDF killing civilians, and I repeatedly said that Jewish people aren't to blame for the IDF or represented by the IDF in any way, putting us supposedly both on the exact same page. What gerry leaves out of their own screenshots, and I'd actually forgotten, is that at first they came at me from an angle that I was disrespecting the victims in Gaza.
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So this implies they feel gaza is being subjected to a genocide, and a pretty big one, since they're upset my language made it sound "smaller and tamer." When it becomes obvious that I do in fact consider it a serious genocide, that's when they switch over to saying that my criticism of Netanyahu or the IDF is inherently an attack on Jewish people.
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Notice I never actually said "zionists" in this screenshot, even, but that I defined "regular humans" as humans who don't want to kill innocent families. That would automatically include Jewish people since they overall do not wish to kill anyone, but have in fact spent quite a lot more time trying not to get killed. I believe there may be entire books about this fact! I think there's even whole museums about it, if I'm not mistaken?!
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So then they pivot to saying I'm an antisemite because I said the IDF and its supporters can "burn in hell," and they say "invoking hell" is an antisemitic dogwhistle, which is definitely news to me?!
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So I tried to clarify, again, that I'm only angry at the people who are themselves killing civilians and the "pro-genocide maniacs" who defend the killing of civilians, which they responded to as if I had "lumped them in" with those. You can just see right there that I didn't make any assumption that they were a part of that at all. Thanks to their earlier comments I still thought I was speaking to someone 100% against the IDF's actions, but every time I said that the killers and their advocates alone are bad, they've framed it in some new way as me just not liking anyone Jewish. So now that you have that context:
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...In a response to an ask, they finally just say they hated me to begin with and set out with the intention to "bait and sealion" me (their own words!!) into saying something they hoped would be antisemitic, which they believe was successful despite me never saying anything about Jews other than "this isn't their fault." They saw what they admittedly wanted to, so strongly, that they show me saying "this isn't the fault of Jews" as evidence that I blame Jews. But speaking of people "going mask off"
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In multiple more recent posts and asks, this person appears to say that they simply do not believe the IDF is really targeting children or ambulances or relief aid, that "none of those are true," and the deliberate targeting of any children is supposedly just a conspiracy theory??? So I guess they did successfully troll me and I feel like a real gullible dumbass, because the only reason I continued responding to this person in the first place was that they said they were in fact against the ongoing massacre. Instead, these comments sound like they think the IDF is being unfairly vilified by dishonest propagandists, and that's why they hated me enough to try and fish for callout fuel. That's the nastiest fucking thing anyone's yet pulled on me about this and it's not one that I'm just going to ignore. I should have smelled a troll early on and just blocked them, but it's SO hard for me to suspect ulterior motives. I always go in thinking people mean well, and that there's just a miscommunication we can work out. I almost feel like this individual noticed that and tried to exploit it?!? Unfortunately I'm sure this kind of thing will happen again simply because I don't intend to obediently shut up about what's being done to Gaza. It's not logistically possible for the death and destruction to all just be accidental collateral damage. Don't let anybody ever fool you into thinking the IDF is the face of the Jewish community or vice-versa, just as you can't let anyone fool you into thinking Hamas represents all Palestinians. Especially don't engage this person, stop doing so if you have been, and block them.
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