#like. he would probably accept it. bc he punishes himself enough as it is. but howling

[eorzeashan]

oh my god wait. a much better option than leaving Theron to die in the traitor arc would be to put him in Alliance Jail next to Senator Saresh

#swtor #ooc #theron shan #I'M SORRY TO PUT THIS IN THE TAG #but ik he's blacklisted for some so i have to. #but can you IMAGINE #do the crime do the time #'I see your actions finally caught up to you' ' don't talk to me Saresh' #like. he would probably accept it. bc he punishes himself enough as it is. but howling

[just-some-sorta-person]

Nagi's "Hidden Path"/ Loophole

*featuring Isagi, Bachira, and Rin analysis*

I've been thinking a lot about how Nagi represents a "hidden path" in Bluelock, and the ways in which it seems the main manga and episode Nagi disagree on whether he should succeed- the key issue being his relationship with Reo. He plays soccer for their collective dream in a manga where depending on another character for your motivation is treated as soccer suicide, which should doom him, but his own manga starts with the statement that his genius is shaped by Reo - framed as a good thing.

I've said in the past that maybe Nagi will succeed by Episode Nagi's standards, but fail by Blue Lock standards, and I still think that would be an interesting path to take, but rn I wanna discuss the alternative that Nagi succeeds by both standards, even if to a lesser extent in the main manga since Isagi is the MC. And we're assuming here that his relationship with Reo isn't permanently severed in a way that makes him more similar to every other Bllk character bc that would make him much less interesting and also remove the "hidden path" aspect that we're expecting here.

So for him to succeed by both standards, I think what essentially needs to happen is that Nagi represents a loophole or caveat in Blue Lock's philosophy. And to understand why that would be the case, we'd have to understand WHY playing for anyone but yourself is a bad thing in Blue Lock. And there are plenty of examples to draw from.

Isagi and "All for One"

We can start with the "One for all, all for one" team Isagi was in- the most extremely dependent soccer we see. I'll be drawing from Isagi's Light Novel for this, because it really just spells it out. First, let's look at the reasoning for that "all for one" given in response to Isagi's request to shoot more:

“Up until now, You could have won matches with your individual skills, but high school isn’t a piece of cake... We win together, and become stronger together! If you do that, then you'll have double the joy! And half the sorrow!”

The reasoning given here isn't that the resulting soccer is better at winning games - rather there is an emphasis on safety. "the world is tough", "If we stick together, there's half the sorrow". And within that emphasis, is the implication that the individual isn't enough.

We can also see complacency in this ideaology. When Ichinan loses, the coach says

“You fought well. It’s frustrating, but this is what Ichinan is capable of now. The third years are leaving after this… and some of you might quit soccer after today but you can be proud of the days you fought together as a team." "To me, Ichinan’s soccer team…is the best team in Japan!!!”

Within this dream doping that Ego rants about later on, we can again see the acceptance on the individual not being enough - "You fought well... but this is what Ichinan is capable of now." We also see within the dream doping the injection of safety and lack of perceived agency. Because we are one unit, there is no blame, no frustration, no need for improvement. The point is the team, not to win, so be proud.

Most damning is the way we see this reflected in Isagi

There’s no need to take a risky battle. If they lose, it will be his fault and he will feel bad for the team. He makes an exquisite pass to Tada's feet. A perfect last pass.

What's emphasized here is the risk in making an egotistical decision for the whole team in believing himself good enough to make that shot himself. What essentially happens here is a devaluing of the self - " I'm not good enough on my own, its safer to trust others, trust the system, not your instincts" And that forces Isagi to not live up to his fullest potential, to chase what he wants. Until Blue Lock that is.

Bachira and the Monster

Bachira is probably the character most directly "punished" in the narrative for playing for someone else. Though I feel like punish is the wrong word because this problem with his ego reared its head and was resolved in the same game - once he realized the problem, Bachira resolved to solve it

According to Bachira's explanation

"...Until now, I was afraid of playing soccer by myself. I guess I wanted you to come save me. But, once I tried fighting on my own, like I'd done as a kid, I realized...

And so the problem with his habit of looking for another player when playing instead of focusing on himself was again the perceived lack of agency, and devaluing of the self. Longing for someone to play soccer with led to a dependency that negatively impacted his decisions on the field

So that's why his moment of growth was breaking through all on his own to steak back Isagi and win - ignoring the idea that he should wait for someone else to help him. He needed to believe in his own agency/value to prove himself on the field and achieve his goals.

Rin and Sae

I recently took a look at Rin's Light Novel and there was a line that stood out as kinda similar to Bachira's old habit of passing to an imaginary monster before coming to Blue Lock

he understood why things were not going well. Neither their coach nor his other teammates have the slightest idea of Rin’s image of play in his head. (If it was Nii-chan, he would have made a pass here……) he thought so many times during today's practice. He jumped out in front of the goal to a position where I said, “Here!” but his teammates were like, “Huh?” “There?”

So whether you're passing or shooting, a reliance can develop, huh...

(How do Bachirin shippers feel about this parallel? haha. And what does this say about what Rin says to Bachira "But afraid of fighting alone. It is a soccer looking for someone. That luke-warm ego won't make my heart dance". Cus it seems Rin is criticizing Bachira for doing the same thing he did. What does this mean about how Rin feels about himself? (I mean.. he did already call himself lukewarm later but was he thinking about himself in that moment?))

In the light novel, I think it becomes clear one reason why Sae is so against Rin using him as his reason for soccer - it definitely affects how Rin plays when Sae is away. And since Sae becomes aware of the competition outside Japan during his time abroad, he knows that Rin's mentality as it was wouldn't be enough and thus wanted to spare him the suffering and have him give up. And this is in combination with the idea of "I've found out, that I'm not strong enough to hold you up. If you rely on me you'll fail" At least, this is my interpretation of it - but moving on-

With Rin’s last pass, they score a shot. If his Nii-chan had been there, he would have passed the ball to him in front of the goal and he would have scored it directly….. He stopped thinking. No pass is coming. That is now the reality. Anyway, the team won for the first time in a long time.

We see a lack of agency and a reliance on others once again - "If only Nii-chan was here". Like with Bachira, Rin is waiting for someone to "save" him, which limits what he chooses to attempt and stifles his potential because of how it limits his perceived agency.

We can also see this limitation in how he wants to be 2nd best after Sae - not best (de-valuing). It causes Rin to seal off his ego in order to catch up to Sae, by being more similar to Sae instead of developing according to his own unique talents/ego.

In order to catch up with his Nii-chan he saw off at the airport, he has to make the team’s victory his top priority. To do so, he must hold himself back. Hold back the you who was trying to steal the goal with everything you have using that sense of smell for the goal and assemble an attack as a team play.

Even after Sae's return he's always on Rin's mind, and this still limits his soccer. It's only after Rin declares himself lukewarm and rejects the stories others create through their relationship with him that he is able to go all out by embracing his own personal style, rather than focusing on others.

Back on Topic!

So in summary, what is wrong with depending on others? What causes Blue Lock to default to individualism? Ultimately it seems like its the resulting lack of perceived agency - the idea that you can't do things without other people present. By constraining yourself into a narrative with other people, you limit what you can do, and you limit what you think you can do by molding yourself to their vision. Thus, your potential is stifled.

How can Nagi and Reo become an exception to this reasoning? Well, maybe Nagi's decision to leave Reo during 2nd selection is part of the key.

We know from Episode Nagi and Manshine that Nagi wants to improve for the sake of his and Reo's collective dream. And he (correctly) identifies following soccer that challenges/excites him as the proper way to improve.

Here, Reo identifies them playing together as a must, but Nagi corrects him and saying that them being the best in the world together is a must, saying (in his head T-T) that he likes being with him, but that in order to protect their dream, Nagi needs to change.

It's actually pretty much spelled out here. Nagi says he's fine with Reo playing with other people, but insists that Reo stay with him till the end. Its ok to play soccer with others, but keep me in your heart always. In other words, I don't mind not playing together, but you and our end goal is always in my heart.

This is different from Isagi, Bachira, or Rin's situation because in those cases, the team/monster/Sae were considered as key to success. However, in Nagi's case, success is key to Reo. It's completely reversed. It's that nuance of "I play soccer to play soccer with you, to win with you" vs. "I play soccer for you, I win for you". Because "playing together" is not a requirement for winning, it no longer acts as a constraint that restricts agency. Nagi's concept of being together separate from playing soccer together saves their partnership from being the same as the others and frees him to (for example) join Isagi to improve.

You can see more of this in epinagi

The Tag Game

You might say this is a bad example because Nagi relies on Reo to get him un-eliminated, but by Nagi's "I figured you'd do that, Reo..." we can guess that this was more from laziness than a belief that he needed Reo's help. Indeed, when Reo's in danger of being eliminated himself, when their dream is in any real danger, Nagi takes it upon himself to solve the issue

They didn't solve the problem relying on teamwork/partnership or anything. Nagi solved the problem because they're partners.

Playing Against Barou

The next time their dream is "Challenged" is when Barou says "Becoming the world's best striker means you'll be alone until you die", essentially a challenge to the viability of Nagi and Reo's dream. Nagi's response to that is to run off and instigate a 1v1 with Barou

So again, rather than deny Nagi options, his partnership with Reo provided the motivation to act out on his own.

Playing against Team Z

Even when they play against team Z, we see this in action. Nagi plays a more reliant soccer, his dream/Reo is challenged when he sees Reo's face, and Nagi decides to act out on his own.

Nagi will rely on Reo for the sake of laziness, but when it comes to their dream, there's this pattern of deciding to rely less on Reo, take destiny into his own hands, and make an effort. It's really that nuance of doing something to be with someone vs. doing something for someone.

Beyond 1st/2nd Selection

Brief mention here of Nagi's eyes shining when Reo says "But it's not enough" when Nagi praises him. I think this might be Nagi thinking its a sign that Reo in fact has not forgotten their promise and is also working to achieve it - consistent with the idea of being together without necessarily playing together (Whereas Reo is thinking the other way round - improving for the sake of playing together because that's the only way to be together)

So, where this theory hits its roadblock is the Manshine City Arc, where Nagi asks for Reo's help. But because of all the ominous foreshadowing afterwards, in addition to Ego's words that Nagi's deep ego (implied by timing of skull imagery +all the scenes I just listed to be Reo/dream-centric) is about to be tested, I think their dynamic is bound to change in some direction within the next game. So, their relationship is still in development and the theory isn't necessarily debunked.

**edited in addition** I think the key is that regardless of their behavior, the core of their partnership (ie their internal feelings) isn't dependency, but rather reciprocated faith and commitment, though especially with Nagi's communication and introspection issues, it may take some time for them to figure that out because Reo has no idea the faith that Nagi has in him. Reo actually assumes that their partnership can't exist without dependence - assumes its over when that dependence fades because Nagi will have no reason to stay with him, but this is him insecurely misinterpreting Nagi's intentions. They also can't really flourish until Nagi figures out his ego/motivation, though that's luckily foreshadowed to be addressed. I think with how Reo misinterprets Nagi's motivations on a shallow level in 207, and how Nagi's motivation is foreshadowed to be addressed soon, we will get nagireo communication soon timeline wise (not real life lol). And hopefully with that communication, Reo's insecurity + Nagi's motivation can be addressed and they can begin to figure out a functional partnership within Blue Lock. But really the key here is that faith and devotion don't necessitate playing with only each other in mind, while dependence/reliance does.

In terms of what will happen, I think we might finally get a confirmation of what Nagi's ego is - it certainly fits with their conversation in 207, where Reo tries to give a substitute that doesn't really fit. I'm not sure what would happen once Nagi and Reo have the clarity of understanding what Nagi's ego is though...

In Any Case!

I'm running out of fuel but just to let ya'll know I was thinking really hard about what the difference was between Nagi and Reo's dynamic in comparison to partnerships or teamwork criticized by the main manga and I did not expect the difference I came up with to be the difference between reliance and devotion. "I am not enough by myself" vs. "I will make myself enough for you". I still wonder if I'm just biased?

Plz lmk ur thoughts

link to a continuation of these thoughts - Hiori's Words, Reo's Insecurity, Nagi's Enforced Indifference

#reo mikage #nagi seishiro #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #rin itoshi #bllk meta #blue lock meta #nagireo #reonagi #bllk #blue lock #Nagi's utter devotion lives rent free in my head #episode nagi

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

How do you interpret the vengeful spirit/Cassidy thing then?

blame @birdsareblooming for pitching this to me and putting the thought in my head, but in the gameverse, we dont think cassidy/golden freddy kid is the vengeful spirit, we think the spirit is michael afton.

i wrote a whole essay on it that i'm gonna rework when i get back from work bc long story short cori also picked up on smth from the logbook that could add evidence to this, but basically michael:

died bc william sent him to sister location; it's implied william knew he was gonna die and sent him anyway ("it was right where you said it would be[...] then, they thought i was you. [scoffs]"); while william didn't directly kill him, it's clear that michael blames him more than the funtimes, who he just offhandedly says are "free now."

when he contacts william post-possession he very eerily says "i'm going to COME FIND YOU"; many of the vengeful spirit lines are stuff like "you knew i'd find you eventually"

proceeds to spend what is likely decades possessing his own decaying corpse and hunting down his father. that is some determination if i've ever seen it. he's the one william should not have killed bc he's the one who 1) knows who he is, 2) is willful enough to track him down like that, 3) is pissed at him enough to do shit like this

if we presume he's the fnaf3 guard, he then set his dad on fire

we KNOW the vengeful spirit was someone from the fnaf6 fire due to lines referencing the event; it's not henry because the spirit also refers to henry as "he." it's not charlie considering her puppet line of "stay out of my way," something that would be a bit hard to do if you were the one actively torturing. elizabeth was full on her dad's side in fnaf6. so it's either michael or the missing kids

and from a storytelling perspective it adds more oomph if it's michael, the character we've played as for several games (definitely fnaf1, 5 and 6, very likely 3 and it's speculated 4) rather than "dead kid #5 we literally know nothing about"

ALSO the line "is this a prison for you or me or both".... what did a 7yo dead kid do to think they deserve to be in hell with william? michael, however, who probably blames himself for cc's death, might feel that way. while working as the spirit, he's telling himself he's punishing his dad, but really he's self-harming himself and punishing himself for what he did to cc as a child, HENCE the golden freddy imagery. the twitching golden freddy is HIS torturous ghost, not william's

THEN in the old man consequences cutscene, omc tells him to "leave the demon to his demons, there is nothing for you here." what he's saying is that michael, unlike what he believes, DOES NOT deserve to go to hell like his dad, and once he accepts that and moves on, he can go to a better place, while william will still be left behind and tormented. the omc cutscene is where the afton story ends, with it ambiguous as to whether michael will continue torturing himself in the name of vengeance or will let go of his anger and self-hatred and move on to be with his siblings again

so yeah

#fnaf #michael afton #mine

[seriousbrat]

imo it's not so hard to accept that SWM takes place after the prank. I mean it is canon so too bad but it makes complete sense to me. there's no evidence the prank was some big life-altering character development moment for any of the characters involved and that they all learnt their various lessons. in fact we see that they don't. in SWM the marauders are clearly still tormenting Sev. In Sev's conversation with Lily post-prank he's still just as obsessed with the marauders and exposing their secrets as ever, if not more. he doesn't consider what lily's saying at all because he's too focused on his hatred towards them.

my hc is that sirius (rather masterfully) used reverse psychology on sev to get him to go down the willow. Sev isn't stupid, he wouldn't have let himself willingly be led into a trap by his worst enemies. I think Sirius probably "let it slip" and then "backtracked" and acted like Snape wouldn't be brave enough to go down there anyway and that he should just forget it. I doubt Sirius directly told him to go down the willow, I think cleverly he told him not to, knowing that Sev would do so anyway (not that this makes a difference ethically bc his intent is still clear, but anyway. this isn't about who is morally better because idgaf honestly lol, I'm just trying to work through their mindsets)

the marauders received no real consequences for the prank, so why would they learn their lesson? Objectively you can't really punish someone for telling someone not to do something if they do it anyway. Not particularly fair, but still. Which brings me to Sev's responsibility in the matter (which yes, does exist imo) we're shown that he was obsessed with finding out what the marauders were up to and particularly obsessed with Remus's secret. Yes, this is understandable given how they treated him, but absolutely not healthy and he still chose to go down there, whether out of pride, greed, curiousity, vindictiveness. He obv was manipulated but there's a reason he was so easily manipulated. As I said previously, his obsession with revenge is what causes him to be blind to lily's feelings.

James rescuing him wasn't some moment of epiphany about how bullying is bad actually. It was just a fundamental part of James's character already. He would never have let him die regardless of how he felt about him.

All of this makes SWM the PEAK moment of hatred between Sev and the Marauders, which explains a lot of their responses. Sirius and James hate Sev more than ever for trying to expose Remus. Sev, justifiably, hates them more than ever for trying to kill him (and he ropes James into this, which is incorrect but understandable in his position)

James "deflating his head" probably wasn't just based on one event in particular. He just grew up and learned what was more important- being a good person, fighting against voldemort. But Sev also had growing up to do of his own during this time. As I talked about in in this post yesterday I think post-swm Sev was beginning to realise that his lack of control over his emotional responses (calling lily a mudblood out of humiliation, for example) was dangerous both to lily and to himself.

Yeah they still hated each other and attacked each other in seventh year. There's too much bad blood there to do anything else. I've talked about the dynamic between Sev and James here and how that might have developed as they grew older. I honestly find it extremely interesting, I could go on about these two for hours rip. My point is that the development of these characters into adults wasn't instant or linear, it was messy and rough. people don't usually change overnight, it happens slowly over time because they have to.

#anyway another day of me writing walls of text about severus snape #i just saw a discussion about it and people were saying it made no sense for the prank to come before swm #but it does tho #also pls i'm not interested in who is a more terrible person. i love all my children equally #(earlier that day: i don't care for remus) #im jk. kind of #severus #meta #long post #sorry! lmao this is just very present in my fic rn so i have a lot of thoughts

[tickles-tea]

Miguel + A, B, I, J? 👀

A: Aftercare | What is their aftercare like after a heavy round of tickling?

I like to think that he’d be very gentle and quietly sweet, holding you close and murmuring compliments or light playful insults lol

I don’t think he’d be over the top with taking care of you but he’d definitely watch you closely to see what you need so he can act accordingly

If he was tickling someone as a punishment for something, I feel like he’d keep up a faux annoyed act afterwards while making sure they were good at the same time lolol ruffling their hair while grumbling about how annoying they are but he’s not meeting their eyes bc he’s a little embarrassed haha

B: Bondage | How do they react to bondage, do they enjoy it and if yes, what is their favorite pose?

At first Miguel doesn’t see the appeal of bondage “dealing with so many spidermen and their faulty web shooters will do that to a guy” but once he tries it with someone he trusts, I think he would enjoy it! It’d take him a long time to relax into it, but once he does I think the vulnerability would be sort of relieving. He’s so used to shouldering the constant control and pressure required to run the spider society, so having no choice but to give in and let someone else take the reins could be cathartic for him ❤️

As for what pose, I don’t think he’d have a preference really. Probably just something comfortable that keeps his claws away from both his ler and the binds so he can’t accidentally free himself afshsjdks

I: Interrogation | How well would they handle a tickle interrogation?

He could hold out 😤

It would fucking suck because he’s really sensitive LMAO but he’s got a lot of stamina and endurance and he’s as stubborn as a mule

Though, with enough time, effort, and patience, I think you could break him~ enough to make him beg and plead at least. If you were asking for information that would hurt or compromise his friends or other people, he’d just suffer and take it :,)

J: Joy | Their absolute favorite thing about tickling?

He’d like being able to just let go for once orz

He can growl and squirm and hiss out threats all he wants but there comes a point where he just has to accept it and give in. He’s always on high alert, ready to take action at a moment’s notice or planning which action to take next, so even though he’d never admit it, he likes the break tickling gives his mind. After all, there’s no way to think about the multiverse collapsing with your hands wreaking havoc on his thighs 😘

[Send a Character + Letter and I’ll answer with my hcs!]

#thank you for the ask!! I hope you liked them ^^ #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel o’hara #tickling #ticklish!miguel

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

#sage talks #im just goofing around with personal hcs in this post but also #if we could bring him back into the realm of believable humanity again i rly would love it lol

[actuallyitsstar]

jake “hangman” seresin + 12, 21, 22?

✨ send me a number and a character! ✨

omg nonnie hello !!! <3<3 i so so love my boy jake tysm for the ask !!! <3 TW for mentions of child abuse so pls skip if ur not down for that! also this might get long im so sorry 😭 i just have a lot of Thoughts ok 😭

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

i know this is like, decently universal, but there are different versions of it, so i would like to spit out my version with the precursor that i have read a lot of versions of jake's shitty childhood and they are ALL valid and i love them all in their own way so i don't mean this to sound like im tryinna say my headcanon is the only correct way or anything lol.

i do in fact think jake had a really shitty childhood (no surprises im sure). i think for me, it falls somewhere in the realm of overly-critical, under-affectionate, duty-based, act-perfect-for-the-public sort of behavior. the kind of parents who married and had kids out of obligation, bc Thats Just What You Do, but didn't really WANT kids, per se. i think jake has older sisters, and he is absolutely the youngest. he has youngest child syndrome So Bad. he was surprisingly straight-laced, and serious, because he had to be. it's what dear old mom and dad expected. straight As, no fucking around. better not get in trouble, and pay for it if you do.

i think the household might have been just a little bit ~physically abusive~. jake probably got the brunt of it- i think that seresin sr. probably grew bolder with time, and had more frustrations and expectations to push onto a son than onto his daughters. jake would've stood up, too, and lept in front of anything for his sisters, regardless of their age difference or the fact that they probably tried to do the same for him. it was CERTAINLY verbally abusive. nothing's ever good enough, why do you say things like that? don't speak to your father that way. i don't know what you want *me* to do about, if you treated your father with respect he would do the same for you. i think jake's mother sided with her husband often, which is complex, because seresin sr. is an emotionally abusive, uptight asshole, and she's under his thumb too, but she was probably complicit in plenty of it. it's easy to learn to perpetuate something you've known for most of your adult life. she probably married young, and she doesn't know relationships to look any different. it doesn't excuse her behavior, but it does explain.

he learned to do a lot for himself, to be competent in areas that children his age usually aren't. to cook for himself (and his sisters) because no one else was going to do it, some nights, and he was sick of living off of cereal. his sisters teach him how to cover a bruise with makeup one fateful night-before-picture-day, and they regret it later when it becomes an excuse, and jake is able to step in front of them despite their begging him not to, because it's ok, i can fix it before school (so not what they meant jake but ok).

jake probably knew javy in high school, and javy managed to pry jake out of his hardass asshole exterior, just a little. jake is an asshole, because he's learned it's the only way to get attention from his parents (and so what if it's negative attention? he doesn't know the difference). javy is the first person to give jake positive attention and jake doesn't know what to do with it or how to accept it. sometimes when the fighting is very bad at home, jake runs to javy's for a while, but he always goes back home to take his punishment sooner than javy or javy's parents would like, because he is afraid of leaving his sisters alone at home for too long with his parents.

eventually, tho, they are old enough to escape, and that means that jake is right on their heels. they check in as often as they can and things are the worst they've ever been for the years between his next oldest sister's departure and the day he turns 18. but when he does, he and javy enlist together. jake tells his parents, against his wishes. somehow it is another thing for his father to be angry about. his mother cries and cries, as if she's ever cared for his well-being before. for the first time, jake hits his father back. all the way to annapolis, he sports a black eye covered by makeup, and prays to the God of the church he was forced to attend in a suit acting presentable each sunday but does not believe in, that seresin sr. is not somewhere in texas right now talking to the police, ruining jake's chance at true freedom before it's even begun.

he must not be, because nothing ever comes of it. jake does not speak to his parents again.

if like all of this ends up in a fic in like idk 6 months or something. dont @ me. akdhfdjfghfjf it probably will even tho i have a wip list a mile long help aaaaaa

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

i have only (publicly) written for jake once, in the first half of chapter twenty-one of time takes no prisoners (you'll see), so that is my ticket to answering this lol. just know that i plan to write plenty for jake in the future, i am just swamped with mav dad and brad brad wips atm lol

i think my favorite thing about writing for jake is walking that exact line between being an absolute asshole and being a normal person, and the way that jake is somehow both entirely self aware of it, and entirely oblivious to it at the same time. the contrast between the things he thinks in his pov, and the things he says aloud, are also everything. his pov is one of my favorites in this fandom (tho ofc i have loved every pov i have written so far !!!) bc he's just so.... him. so much sharp and so much snark but so much heart too, if you can get to it. so much unresolved and unacknowledged childhood trauma manifesting all over the place. rip to jake but it's everything for me as the author lol.

one thing that sucks about this as the author tho is needing to BE these things on some level to write them. like im supposed to be witty and charming in this google doc rn ??????? say sike 😭 i spend a lot of time staring at an empty page when i get to jake's dialogue bc i can internal monologue all day long but when he has to be witty out loud its OVER for me lol

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

I GUESS THIS SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE. but i love the mav-accidentally-adopting-jake-kind-of trope. it is like. my FAVORITE genre of jake fic. its so multi layered too, because mav has had this fractured relationship with bradley for so long and is still struggling to fix it with him, and now here's jake, and why is jake gravitating to mav so much???? mav just does whatever comes natural in the moment, and i think it's like. kind of part of it, in a way. not a big one, but i think mav gets to interact in this way with jake and gets to A. remember how to do it, and B. remind himself that he is capable. and C. i think jake reminds mav of himself at that age and he has some inherent instinct trying to stop the crash that he sees coming. the idea of jake never having been shown like, just regular kindness or understanding from a parental-coded individual and respecting mav a lot in his career, and then after the mission its awkward bc its like oh shit. this is roosters dad basically???? thats fucking weird. and the next thing you know you are hanging out with roosters dad on the weekends when rooster is deployed and you are not ?????? what is going ON. WHY does he speak nicely to me. why does he praise certain things that i do. why does he listen attentively to things that i say. why does he keep trying to hug me when i am leaving. what is this strange interaction.

that being said, i think we all agree jake has some kind of unresolved childhood trauma, and i LOVE to see him have to face it, but sometimes it can just... go too far. i think something i don't like seeing happen to jake in fic is if he kind of.... gets his sharp edges rounded down??? or like, his claws filed away??? jake is a fully grown adult man, who HAS parents out there somewhere in some worlds, or HAD them in others, and he is bold and brash and sharp and quick-tongued. it's easy to reduce him to kind of an extreme position emotionally, and don't get me wrong. i love to put my blorbos in extreme emotional situations. but idk. i think with jake especially its hard to imagine him in a soft situation, and we have a tenancy to warp his character, or make him too teary, too honest, too direct, too sad. for me i feel like the sweet spot is right in the middle, trying to make sure he stays a little depressed and a little angry with himself all the time and a lot disillusioned, while still staying flippant and charming and evasive. it's easy to bend the character to fit the situation instead of the situation to fit the character, but it's important, i feel, to try and do the latter and not the former, with any character, but especially jake, in this fandom.

THANK U SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO RAMBLE NONNIE......i hope u enjoyed and i didnt bore u too much akdhdjdhfjf. i love jake and i love u. that is all. 💕

#star unasks #Anonymous #top gun #i feel so bad tagging asks in the tag but im an idiot who made my only blog organizational tag the literal movie name #so theres rly no going back lol so sorry everyone in the tag welcome to my wall of text #THANK U SO MUCH ANON FOR THE ASK #I LOVE IT I HAD A LOT OF FUN GETTING TO ANSWER AND I LOVE TALKIN ABT JAKE SM OMG #i wanna write for himmmmmmmmm aaaaaaaaaaa #mine #if u see a fic with this exact premise of jakes childhood happen on ao3 assume its me lol skjdhjfhfjg #stars scribbles

[amiharana]

RiTO doing that Silence of Idol game and Revali actually falls asleep because he works himself too much

i'm gonna be honest i had no idea what this game was until i searched it up and watched (1) a string of tiktoks about treasure and up10tion doing the game and (2) the entire episode of lesserafim on the game KDJHFHKJDSJH but i got the gist. i've been so out of the kpop loop lately

(for anyone else who may be unfamiliar with 'silence of idol' and have 15 minutes to spare, lesserafim was very entertaining to watch on the show LOL but it's essentially like a challenge simulation of kpop idols being in their trainees days and having to practice or something late at night while attempting to not get caught by their manager/trainer)

RiTO doing this game would be so silly 😹 kass and MAYBE mimo would be the only ones who would have fun with it, bc teba, harth, and revali would be so serious about it. kass and mimo trying to convince their manager to get in on the fun with their takeout fried chicken vs. teba, harth, and revali all panicking and getting ready to accept their punishment for getting caught even though it's literally just a game 😭

i can totally imagine revali genuinely falling asleep during the game 🥺 the youngest of the group pushes himself to be the best idol out there, always saying that his training isn't enough, that he needs to be more accurate in his dance moves and hitting notes, and push himself past his own limits. teba is constantly chastising revali for late nights training because revali insists on waking up with the sun too, so he's always running of <4 hours of sleep (which actually is the reality of most kpop trainees & idols anyway, but let's pretend that the loz kpop au isn't as bad 🥹).

maybe before they're scheduled to film the silence of idol, revali pulled an all-nighter practicing for their next music show performance and thus is extremely sleep-deprived. during the segment of the game where they genuinely are supposed to fall asleep, it's only supposed to be a light sleep which most of the members achieve, easily woken up by the lights turning on and the sound of the door opening. but revali, the lightest sleep of them all, doesn't budge, doesn't even react at all.

"hey, revali, wake up," mimo says, gently shaking revali's shoulder in an attempt to rouse him. "it's time to start practice." nothing.

teba and harth come up on revali's other side, crouching beside him on the floor. "don't play games, kid, we're supposed to start practicing in a few minutes," harth says gruffly, poking revali in the forehead. the second youngest of the group is as serious about keeping up the act as he is about playing the game.

teba swats his hand away from revali's face. "don't do that," he says, before refocusing back onto their youngest. "revali, are you really sleeping?" still no response.

I'M . IMAGINING THIS SCENE THE WAY THEY WOULD SAY AND EDIT IT THE WAY ACTUAL KPOP IDOLS WOULD so in my head it's like a close-up of revali snoozing and curled up in the blankets and there's a caption that reads something like "RiTO maknae Revali is so peaceful when he sleeps~ 🌸" and "doing his job as the maknae flawlessly; he sleeps like a baby! 👶 [baby laughter sound that all the kpop idol editors use]". teba standing up to rub at the back of his head and chuckling awkwardly; "i guess revali really did fall asleep..."

they end up pausing filming as the members sit by their youngest, the managers talking with the film crew, as revali continues slumbering on. kass and mimo are taking pictures of revali and giggling to themselves about how cute and peaceful he looks fast asleep, meanwhile teba is worrying about how revali has been working too hard lately and is probably why he fell asleep and didn't wake easily as he usually would.

"should we cut down practice sessions?" teba says to harth.

the second youngest just shrugs. "he already practices extra in addition to our regular sessions. you're not gonna be able to stop him from practicing more unless you physically restrain him." teba sighs; harth is right.

the managers decide that they're just going to take revali back to the dorms to keep sleeping and have a check-up to make sure he's healthy and not overdoing it. the rest of RiTO can continue filming for the comeback promotions, and they're fine with it albeit worried for their youngest. that's when revali begins to stir, mumbling and shifting around in the blankets, the rest of RiTO beginning to crowd around him again. (the cameras are still rolling KJDFKJDSF)

"hello, our lovely maknae~" kass greets him softly. "did you sleep well?"

"slept?" revali mumbles, blinking sleepily back up at the second oldest. "wha... only closed my eyes for a little... didn't even sleep that long..." and kass has to hold back a laugh, pursing his lips.

"that's right, revali," mimo whispers, also trying to keep in a laugh. "but it's still too early for practice, so you can go back to sleep for a little bit until it's time. we'll wake you up, okay?"

revali nods slowly, eyes falling shut as he curls back up into the pillow and blankets. "okay, hyung" he yawns. "you better... wake me up..." and falls right back asleep 🥹

the rest of RiTO and their managers are all trying not to laugh, taking a video of their sleepy maknae curling back up so cutely to sleep. the normally sharp-mouthed youngest is so sweet and cute when he's sleepy, why can't he be like this all the time? 😹

#loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #idol au #ask #noraiir-arts #q #and when this episode gets released and link gets to see eepy sleepy revali? #bro is screaming and crying and shouting and sobbing at the top of his lungs about how cute his revali-sunbaenim is 😹 #can't stop rewatching sleepy revali pout at being asked about how well he slept #clips it and adds it to his favorites and watches it all the time for a week straight #yet another ask i'm sorry took a while to answer 😹 #i hope this was still up to your tastes ik i didn't really add any revalink LAWLLL

[zhaozi]

analysis of vegaspete and kinnporsche - part 2 (the kinnporsche bit)

i’m going to add the same intro just in case you haven’t read the other post!

I'm going to jump on Juul's post about the discrepancies in trust and honesty between kinn and porsche's relationship in comparison to vegas and pete's relationship; but first I just want to make a disclosure because I always get asks about it when I post even a vaguely negative statement about kinn. I hate him as a character. He is little more than a spoiled brat who has never been told no and that's probably why he kidnapped someone to be a bodyguard instead of playing nicely with the ones he had at home.

The intent of this post isn't to convince you that vegas and pete are the relationship we should be aiming for, just that kinn and porsche are also definitely not. This is a show about the mafia, there was always going to be morality that ranged from black to grey but that doesn't mean you should accept less than you're worth in a relationship.A bit of background;I have worked in a professional kink club, I have experience with criminal families, and i've also dated a man who didn't like to be told no.

instead of going into a deep retrospective for kinn & porsche, i'm just going to list some of the negatives i saw. i'm going to ignore things that korn manufactured so all of this lies solely of the couple;

kinn knew porsche saw yok as a mother figure in his life and that's why he went to her bar specifically to pressure porsche instead of school, or his house where he'd have less say.

tried to corner him on a boat so he had no way of escaping. does it look like porsche gave a fuck? no. splash splash motherfucker

reads off his entire life to him as a form of intimidation. don't you think it's sexy when your future employer and boyfriend does an in depth background check about your deceased parents and street fighting. no wonder they had sex instead of talking there was nothing to fucking talk about.

keeps himself handcuffed to porsche to 'get to know him'. how about don't piss him off and maybe he'd talk to you.

doesn't trust porsche as far as he can throw him. doesn't trust porsche to go alone to the minor family compound, doesn't trust porsche enough to tell him about tawan. doesn't trust porsche to go home for a week.

speaking off, porsche asked for space to figure out his life, so kinn turns up like an obsessive ex?

got chay kidnapped, kim hurt, and big killed because he didn't want to share information with his head bodyguard. nice.

still trusted tawan enough to imprison porsche even though he claimed he knew tawan had nothing?

forced porsche to apologise to him? for??? talking to vegas?

i have a 3 year old, and honestly it's giving eau-de-you can't play with my toys

RAPED PORSCHE. he raped him. he didn't have sex with porsche while porsche was willing. porsche couldn't have consented to anything. that's rape. let's not beat around the bush.

then punished porsche for being raped by kinn or getting himself drugged and then forced into sex.

demoted him, which he knew would upsets porsche, for doing his job.got jealous of porsche working with vegas when he sent porsche to work for vegas?

supported his dad when porsche found out about his mum. kinn found out in that moment that his dad had lied to porsche for years about his mum, and his 'uncle', and still told porsche to calm down bc he was here for him. okay buddy.

gropes porsche in the middle of a gun fight while he's surrounded by dead colleagues.

idk about you guys but i like my fiance to ask permission before grabbing my crotch in front of people i worked with, dead or alive. maybe im just a prude or smth though

talks bad about him to his dead parents. i shouldn't have to explain why this is a negative point for kinn.

porsche doesnt want to cuddle in front of time and tay so what does kinn do? hold him in a death grip

'don't touch me' kinn proceeds to keep trying to touch him

beckons porsche like a dog in the bar. he seems to be into it the second time with the weird bread shit so im not against that moment of it against him.

uses porsches fear of ghosts against him in the side story.

even though they slept together kinn tells porsche he views all of his bodyguards as the same. thats some prime time emotional manipulation my guys.

'i promise you ill find every answer' he didn't and porsche didn't trust him to help because porsche knows that kinn is a puppet.

calls porsche a whore bc a drink spilt on him and vegas helped take his shirt off and kinn didnt ask for context before saying anything

EITHER PORSCHES BOYFRIEND OR BEST FRIEND KILLED HIS 'UNCLE' WHEN HE STILL THOUGHT IT WAS HIS UNCLE. why? bc he was with vegas? bc he left the house? your best guess is as good as mine

porsche passed out in a sauna and you're just going to leave him there? while he has a medical emergency. okay?

cant even pretend to talk to porsche nicely after pete explains that its the way to get close to porsche

oh and porsche said his name was jom at the beginning.

#morgan talks #i will be awaiting the criticism i will most likely get #but at least its all out now

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Do you think baby satan ever had random moments of trying to baby/be a big brother towards Mammon and the rest of the younger brothers because of his memories from when he was in Lucifer.

Boy just straight up trying to wipe Beel’s face bc he’s a messy eater and his big brother instincts activated and pulling blankets over Belphie whenever he caught him napping in random places.

But also the hilarity of, because Lucifer only lets Mammon be the one to calm him down from his fits of rage, Baby Satan similarly only calms from his tantrums if Mammon is holding him.

Cue the brothers snarking Lucifer about his favoritism 😌😘

(Also Baby Satan glowering at Lucifer and deciding Mammon is his and so Luci should find someone else to be his favorite because TanTan does not share. Angry child who slaps away the hands of people who try to hold their mom. Luci got slapped daily lol.)

YESS YES YES YES! Listen in the game Satan straight up told Asmo that he was older because he was created before Asmo and that's just full of BS. The way the brothers (specially Mammon -> link) sometimes react to Satan, you just know he popped out as a kid and not as a fully grown adult who's older than Asmo & the rest. And the last I checked you count your age from the moment you physically enter this world? Not while you're still in your parent, no matter how aware you may or may not be.....

And so all I can imagine is this little toddler Satan stomping his little leg and insisting he's Asmo & the twins' older brother and they just go along with it because a.) they know the beginning of a temper tantrum when they see one b.) it was really adorable. And now it's too late to set things straight because if anyone tries to correct him, he doesn't believe them at all

And yeah tiny toddler Satan definitely tried to baby his grown ass adult brothers. Just full lectures about Asmo staying out too late or Beel eating too fast or Belphie sleeping too much except half the words aren't pronounced right and his brothers' cheeks are red from the effort of trying to hold in their laughter

Even toddler Satan would have had a competitive streak against Lucifer and Mammon definitely got caught in the crossfire

I also HC that current Satan is lowkey jealous of Mammon: specifically about his relationship with Lucifer (this is something the others actually briefly tease him about in S1 and he gets flustered about it).

Because no matter what he says, a big part of Satan's issues with Lucifer lie on getting acknowledged & accepted by Lucifer and being useful (possibly having to do with his place in the family and how he wasn't handpicked like the rest and instead they didn't have much of a choice about whether or not he joined so now he feels like he needs to prove himself to earn that position?) and this is all shown during various parts of the game but most notably in S3 when Satan met "Angel Lucifer" and in the Snowed in event. Satan also has problems with acknowledging (probably even to himself) that Lucifer is technically his dad

Mammon, on the other hand, was probably the first person picked by Lucifer, is Lucifer's favourite, for how much Lucifer punishes Mammon - Mammon's also the one who gets spoilt the most by Lucifer, Mammon doesn't put in even a quarter of the effort Satan does but he's still the one Lucifer depends on and look Satan doesn't want to be Lucifer's errand boy but at the same time a small part of him would probably want to just even be considered, if Mammon's Freudian slip is anything to go by then at least subconsciously Mammon has fully accepted Lucifer as his parental figure and that also means that they had a close enough relationship for that to happen

Look I love Satan a lot but he definitely thinks he's better than Mammon, that's not even a question. He also definitely has a competitive streak. So imagine how frustrating it must be to feel like you're losing against someone you know you're better than in a one-sided competition that you don't even want to be part of

Just,

Satan adores both Lucifer & Mammon (even if he doesn't want to admit it)

The two of them also probably played a huge part in raising Satan (even if he doesn't want to admit it)

But he's got so many issues with Lucifer that they're rubbing off on his relationship with Mammon as well and at least Lucifer knows Satan has issues with him, Mammon's completely in the dark

If you can't tell, I live for complicated relationships where ultimately, in spite of everything, everyone just loves each other so much

Okay so he's definitely the kind of kid to want all the attention on him and he's gonna shriek and make it everyone's problem if he's ignored but ummmmmmm also.......I don't think they had the internet back then.......not sure how hashtags could be trending😐

Speaking of Lucifer, Mammon & baby Satan here's a snippet of Chapter 2 of Friends in High Places (mammon × unnamed gn! mc reverse au! fic) that I haven't posted yet but feels relevant:

*it was entirely intentional

#asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #obey me! #swd obey me #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #shall we date mammon #obey me! mammon #om mammon #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #om! lucifer #obey me! lucifer #swd lucifer #shall we date lucifer #om satan #om! satan #swd satan #obey me satan #obey me! satan #shall we date satan #swd obey me! #shall we date? obey me #shall we date obey me #my theory #my headcanon

[inglorious-purpose]

One scene from the first Thor movie that lives rent-free in my head is where they’re going to Jotunheim and Loki tries to sweet-talk their way past Heimdall, and Thor shouts “Enough!” and Loki just immediately shuts down, stops talking, stops moving, eyes downcast. Then Volstagg taunts him about his silver tongue turning to lead and Loki doesn’t make a sound. He’s worn down from centuries of being ignored, belittled, and degraded, and has probably been scolded whenever he tries to stand up for himself, so he just doesn’t bother anymore.

Later, when Loki tries to defuse the tension between Laufey and Thor, and Thor tells him to “know [his] place,” Loki doesn’t push back. He does know his place; no doubt Odin reinforced this countless times, taking Thor’s side regardless of how reckless and foolish Thor could be. The way Thor talks back to Odin after they return to Asgard, and seems so dumbfounded when Odin actually punishes him, suggests that Thor has rarely been reprimanded for his past misdeeds. Classic golden child vs scapegoat. I can’t help but wonder if someone on the writers’ team for this movie experienced this sort of toxic family dynamic, bcs they got this completely right.

This is one thing that bothered me so much while watching the Loki series. Knowing what Loki has been through ... and yeah he didn’t handle it well to say the least, but still ... then watching him be humiliated and punched around so much just broke my heart. That scene with Sif where he gets repeatedly slapped and kicked -- that was hard to watch. Of course, if the showrunners had honored Loki’s actual backstory instead of insisting that he was just a power-hungry narcissist, they wouldn’t have been able to play that scene for laughs. It would have been seen as gratuitously cruel -- bcs it was gratuitously cruel.

And every time Sylvie belittled him or mocked him or showed him up, that hurt too. Yeah, she was nice to him for a total of maybe 10 seconds of screen time, when she wasn’t sneering at him or using him for her own selfish goals. And yeah I know she’s got issues, but damn. At the end, she betrayed and rejected him, and yet Loki will probably go right back to her in season 2. As for the self-love metaphor, I simply don’t see it even if I squint real hard. Is Loki supposed to fall in love with his mean streak? Come to an understanding and acceptance of his snarky violent side? I really wanted to root for Loki and Sylvie as a couple, but I just can’t do it. She’ll need one helluva redemption arc and personality adjustment for the relationship to be anything but toxic. 

Seems like a lot of people ship them hard, and that’s cool, good for you if you do. I’m not trying to say no one should ship them (and for the record I’m not into Lokius either). It just didn’t work for me.

#loki #loki show #loki series #sylvie #thor #loki meta #loki series critical #sadly i'm an expert on toxic family dynamics #thor1 #marvel #mcu

[chitsangenthusiast]

unpopular opinion: season 3 zuko emo hair before redemption is best hair!

crosses arms ok give me a second to think lmfao

okay i've touched on the significance of zuko's hair growth in hmyld/on here, but i do love that zuko's changing appearance was such an explicit reveal of his internal fight on his path to both redemption and eventual self-acceptance.

zuko is not someone who hides himself or is really willing to do so. he also understands the weight of certain things, especially with his hair. when he was banished, he could have started over and grown his hair out, ozai wasn't going to see him and i don't think iroh nor the crew would have stopped him, but he chose not to bc it was crucial to him to honor the severe punishment that he understood for what it was.

when he cut off the ponytail he knew what he was doing, and even through the ups and downs of his arc there was a very obvious insistence to not cut it again. regardless of what happened, growing out his hair was always his intention—the first shaving his head was an ugly act, an added indignity on top of his trauma, and while there was sorrow in cutting the ponytail off and severing his ties to his home in that moment by the river, zuko had also given himself the freedom to begin anew that wasn't lost on him.

the s3 hair is especially good tho i'll agree bc (whether this is true/intentional or not), the point of zuko's hair falling between his eyes definitely feels like it's a parallel to aang's own arrow lol

BTW also: you see the fluctuations in his internal fight in more than just in his hair!!! in ba sing se, his clothes/uniform go through many outward changes too!

from muted greens tinted with red when they first arrive to the richer, though still hesitant dark greens over lighter green robes all the way up to lake logai, we don't see him in the bright greens like iroh wears until after his fever breaks and he's finally accepted goodness+his new life. in fact, when we see him in the tea shop, his brighter green robe overtakes almost all of the darker green underneath—but not fully.

by the time he's been captured and ends up with katara in the catacombs, you can actually foresee the fall backwards in his redemption arc by the clothes he's wearing. there's no more bright green, the suggestion of red tint has returned, and once he's shed his outer robe, he's back in the similar shades he was wearing when he first arrived in ba sing se as he takes azula's side.

(you could probably argue a similar transition happens with his s3 fire nation clothes, but i haven't thought enough abt them to offer anything on that lmfao)

but yeah! zuko always and forever wearing his heart on his sleeve and hair throughout his redemption arc beloved <3

#rip this got so long lmao #i have so many thoughts abt his hair AND his clothes i'm so sorry lskfdlkshfzl #but yeah i personally do think he continues to grow it long on purpose as closure+an act of self love and acceptance #(along w cultural/etc reasons ofc) #and some days (perhaps most days) he prefers to wear it in a ponytail #lifted up into a phoenix tail that he had actually consented to #bc there's a quiet peace in being able to glance in a mirror and see a full head of hair #ask #anon #zuko #atla #wait is this actually an unpopular opinion or is it bc you know i adore s1 hair the most kfnlkn #(listen as an emo from that time it's just a better look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[nsfw-at-its-finest]

Hi! I wanted to request a Steve Rogers x Male!Reader, basically the reader and Steve "hate" each other bc Steve is always rude to reader but thats only bc he has a crush on reader. So on day on a mission the reader saves Steve's life on a mission and Steve want to apologize to reader for being an asshole to him. So he does and confesses at the same time. Reader obviously likes him back, and maybe some smut with top!reader and Steve being really vocal and calling reader daddy or something⁉️but yeah nd then the aftercare and its all good in the end. Also the reader would be really tall and buff cus its kind of inspired by and oc of mine and yea :) take out whatever you are not comfortable with! I don't mind❤

Title: I hate you, I love you

Rating: M (18+)

Plot: Requested

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Male reader

Y/n: Your name

H/c: Hair color

E/c: Eye color

Warnings: Smut, Bottom Steve, Top Y/n, Daddy kink, cussing, kissing, mentions of death, CONCENT IS IMPORTANT, practice safe sex!!

Word count: 2678

Contrary to belief, Steve didn’t hate Y/n, quite the opposite. He was quite enamored with the other man, and the super soldier had been struggling with that endlessly.

He was from the 40’s, things like homosexuality were taboo and punished for acting out upon, so it was mind boggling for the captain to come to terms with the fact that he could love whoever the hell he wanted now.

He got lost in those hypnotizing E/c eyes, the other man’s hair shining beautifully in the moon light. When he towered over Steve and the sun framed his figure, he looked ethereal, stealing his breath away.

The man out of time was slowly coming to terms with this realization and acceptance of his love for another man when a particular grueling mission rolled around.

He was of course the hardest on Y/n, he wanted the man to be better, to be safe. He didn’t think his heart could bear the weight of seeing him hurt in the field, let alone dying.

See the reason everyone believed he hated the man of his affections was because he was a hard ass, yelling at him more, training him more, and overall working him harder than the rest of the team.

He knew Y/n would be better than all of them one day if he focused himself and stopped being a damn idiot on missions. Ironic enough, Steve was the reason for the overworked hero’s injury in the field.

Steve had been so distracted by keeping an eye on the E/c eyed man that he’d missed an enemy sneaking up on his six, and if it hadn’t been for Y/n, he’d probably be in the med bay or worse right now. Just the thought sent waves of fear crashing over the captain, he wasn’t ready to die yet, ye still had so much left to do.

His fellow hero had taken the monstrous creature out, looking like a god as he did so. The blonde’s cheeks flushed as his thoughts strayed in battle, forcing himself to focus. His own personal feelings could wait for now.

The battle finished what felt like an eternity later, all the heroes happy to return home to their faithful beds and get some much-needed rest. After the required post mission meeting everyone went their own ways, Steve faltering in the hallway.

His thoughts raced a mile a minute, wondering if Y/n would be okay if he stopped by to thank him for the save, or if the man would just wish to be alone.

After some internal debate the soldier made his way to Y/n’s floor, heart thudding in his chest as the elevator opened to show the unfamiliar area.

Y/n’s intoxicating scent swirled around him, making his head fuzzy and cheeks flush a light pink. He cleared his throat before calling out.

“Y/n?” Steve tipped his head to the side, hearing the steady thrum of the other man’s heart, following it down the hall to a mahogany door.

The blonde heard a thump on the other side of the door and foolishly opened it before he could think of repercussions, mouth going dry at the sight of Y/n standing in his underwear.

Scars littered the man’s body like a story singing out to Steve, his mouth begging to taste the smooth looking flesh. His blue eyes trailed shamelessly down Y/n’s body before embarrassment finally caught up to him, causing the man to clear his throat once more.

“Can I help you, Captain?” Y/n questioned, eyebrow quirked, and arms crossing over his chest to show off his bulging muscles.

Steve’s mouth opened and closed for a few seconds, face feeling as if it was burning in an inferno.

“I wanted to come and say thank you for saving me today.” Steve finally choked out, forcing his eyes off the other man’s biceps. (Christ he could crush Steve’s head with those)

A bashful smile bloomed across the H/c haired man’s face, head bowing slightly. “It was nothing, you may hate me, but we’re a team and we look out for each other.”

The reply Steve got made his heart clench painfully, eyes running over Y/n’s familiar features. “I don’t hate you.” He almost whispered his admission, as if it was some terrible secret.

Y/n’s head shot up; eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “What?”

“I don’t hate you, quite the opposite actually.” Steve nervously ran his fingers though his blonde locks, refusing to look at the other man’s burning stare.

“So, you’re telling me, that you don’t hate me, and you are apparently in love with me?” Y/n asked incredulously, a look of disbelief tainting hid beautiful features.

“Yes?” Steve replied nervously, a quiet, pathetic chuckle leaving his lips.

“Jesus fucking Christ you’re an idiot, how are you our captain again?” Y/n questioned, rubbing his temples as if he was keeping a migraine at bay.

Steve’s flush darkened and he opened his mouth to defend himself, but Y/n shot him a dark look that made his knees turn into jelly and a warm feeling curl into his stomach.

“Oh no, don’t you dare start Steve. You’ve been very bad, and I think I should show you who’s in control, should I not?” He questioned, walking closer to the clothed man.

Steve swallowed thickly looking up at the burly man, mind blank. God that was way hotter than it should’ve been.

Y/n’s rough feelings brushed delicately against Steve’s jaw, a smirk playing on his lips, but a serious look in his eyes.

“If I do anything that makes you even slightly uncomfortable, tell me immediately. Is that understood?” He questioned, thumb brushing against his light stubble.

“Yes.” Steve breathed out, looking up at the larger man from under his eyelashes. Y/n raised an eyebrow, thumb lightly digging into his skin in a way that was unpleasant.

Steve shivered, leaning into the touch slightly. “Yes sir.” He corrected himself, assuming that it was a role reversal in the bedroom. Steve had no issue with that, he hated being in control all the time, he loved the idea of Y/n having complete control of his pleasure.

Y/n rewarded him with a loving grin, leaning down to brush their lips together. “Good boy.” He breathed out; eyes fluttering shut as he pressed their lips together harshly.

Steve let out a small sound against the larger man’s lips, arms moving to wrap around Y/n’s neck. His fingers grasped onto any hair he could reach as their teeth clashed together. Steve’s feet were suddenly off the ground, an embarrassing squeak leaving his lips.

He pulled back, chest heaving as he panted breathlessly. Y/n held the super soldier up by his hips with ease, the smirk back on his lips.

“We’ve only kissed, and you already look wrecked.” The man teased, leaning forward to brush his lips against Steve’s jaw.

Steve whined, tipping his head to the side to give Y/n more access. The man’s teeth scraped tantalizingly against the sensitive flesh of his neck, goosebumps raising across his arms.

“Do you want to keep going?” Y/n asked, his tongue dipping out to lick up a bead of sweat that began for form. Steve’s grip tightened on the other man’s hair, heart fluttering a bit.

“Yes, God yes.” Steve breathed out, a giggle leaving his lips when he was unceremoniously tossed onto the giant king-sized bed.

Y/n came to staddle his hips, fingers ghosting over his skin where his shirt had ridden up. “You’re beautiful.” He admired, leaning down to connect their lips once more.

This kiss was much more feverish and needy on Steve’s part, his pants uncomfortably tight against his erection. His hands reached out to rub Y/n’s thighs, fingers ghosting over the other man’s bulge and Jesus Christ almighty was that going to fit?

He let out a shuddering breath, unable to stop himself from leaning up into the E/c eyed male’s touch. He broke from the kiss, head falling back against the mattress as Y/n began to suck and lick at his neck.

Steve’s eyes fluttered as Y/n bit down on his neck, before soothing the aching would with kitten like licks.

Fingers brushed against the skin of his stomach as his shirt was pushed up and eventually tugged over his head, Steve’s eyes opening to see the hungry, almost predatory like look in Y/n’s eyes.

“So beautiful and needy, and all for me.” The man breathed out, leaning down to wrap his lips around one of Steve’s perky nipples. The blonde let out a cry, a surge of heat running through his body at the sensation

His teeth scraped against the sensitive bud, Steve’s back arching a bit into the touch, silently begging for more. The H/c haired man littered Steve’s chest with bite marks and hickeys, possessively marking the captain as his own.

By the time Y/n was tugging down Steve’s pants the blonde was begging pathetically, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and lust alike. His hips twitched against his will when his aching erection finally got attention, Y/n’s fingers ghosting over it.

“So needy for daddy, aren’t you?” The man breathed out, eyes fixated on the clothed bulge, before his head whipped up. Steve was surprised to see the confident man’s face bright red, as his own dick twitched in interest at the title.

“Please daddy.” Steve all but whined out, and damn did he sound and look so pretty. Y/n licked his bottom lip, Steve’s blue orbs following the movement.

“You’ve been such a good boy for me, I do suppose you deserve a reward.” The man relented, finally releasing Steve from his confines, the soldier almost crying out in relief. A sharp gasp left his throat as thick fingers ran up the underside of his erection, precum leaking from the slit.

“Can you turn over for me?” Y/n questioned, leaning down to run his tongue over the slit, collecting the bitter fluid with a low groan. Steve could’ve came at the very sight, taking a shaky breath.

Instead, he gave a shaky nod, rolling over obediently, ass sticking out in the air like the good boy he was. He’d been with enough men to know this is where he needed to be prepped, excitement surging through him at the idea of Y/n’s fingers deep inside him.

Steve was rewarded with a small tug to his cock, a moan leaving his lips in response to the sensation.

All contact was lost for a second, causing the blondes head to whip around, looking for the other man. Y/n gave him a comforting smile, opening his bed side drawer to pull out lube.

“Don’t worry baby boy, daddy isn’t going anywhere.” He soothed, fingers running up the hump of Steve’s ass.

The sound of the cap opening eased Steve back down onto the pillows, his head coming to rest on the mounds of cotton. A shiver running down his spine when a slick finger ran over his hole.

He keened in the back of his throat, pushing back against the touch as Y/n slowly eased a finger in. As Steve was stretched out, the dom was surprisingly gentle, praising the blonde repeatedly for how well he was taking his fingers, for his pretty sounds, for basically everything.

It just made the super solider relax more, practically melting into the mattress by the time he was fully stretched out and ready to take Y/n’s cock. He looked over his shoulder as the other man pulled off his boxers, practically drooling at the sight in front of him.

Y/n was both long and thick, a thick bushel of H/c hair sitting at his pelvis, the head of his cock red and leaking precum from the lack of attention. The man grabbed a condom from his bed side, tearing it open in one motion and rolling it on himself.

Steve had to hold back a whine of displeasure, reminding himself to practice safe sex in the back of his head. (Even if he wanted to be leaking because he was so full of cum.)

Y/n rubbed Steve’s lower back, giving him a soft smile. “Are you still sure baby, we can stop.” He assured, nails lightly raking against the sensitive skin.

“Please daddy.” Steve whined out, already sounding fucked out of it, just from his fingers. He pushed back against his touch, giving the other man a look similar to a pout.

Y/n hummed lightly, leaning down to press kisses against Steve’s shoulder and neck as the head of his cock pressed against his loosened ring of muscles.

The head slid in with ease, Steve letting out a ludicrous moan of pleasure as Y/n hissed under his breath.

“Please please please.” Steve rambled under his breath, pushing back against the other man’s cock as he slowly slid in. It felt like an eternity until he was fully inside, and Steve was deliciously full, every cell in his body singing with pleasure.

Steve turned his head to look back at Y/n, the man cupping his jaw and kissing him ferociously as he set a brutal pace, the blonde crying out loudly against his lips.

The obscene wet sounds of kissing and Y/n sliding in and out of him stirred the fire in Steve’s stomach, his cock aching delightfully.

He reached behind him to grasp the larger man’s hair in a death grip, Y/n’s free hand coming up to wrap around his waist and support Steve.

The kiss was broken by Y/n this time who began to suck and bite marks into Steve’s neck, the blonde’s head uselessly falling against his shoulder with his eyes rolled back in pleasure.

“You’re all mine. Daddy’s the only one who gets to see you like this.” Y/n proclaimed possessively, hand leaving Steve’s jaw to pinch his nipple, rolling it between his thumb and pointer finger.

Steve let out a whine in return, pressing back against Y/n in agreement. He felt like his mind was melting in the best way possible.

He felt like his body was floating with the mind-numbing pleasure he was experiencing, no one had ever made him feel this good before.

The blonde was already embarrassingly close, but it seemed so was Y/n with the way his thrusts were getting sloppy, his hand moving down to wrap around Steve’s cock.

He jerked him off at the same brutal pace, Steve crying out his name like a prayer on repeat, tightening around Y/n as he came. His eyes rolling back as a loud cry left his lips, legs quivering violently underneath him.

Y/n was close to follow, biting down on Steve’s neck with a growl of the man’s name as he came, fucking him through their orgasms. Once they were both milked dry, he slowly pulled out, setting a blissed-out Steve on the plush mattress. He pulled off and tied the condom up before tossing it into the trash before going to the bathroom.

He wet a cloth before returning to the bed, kneeling between Steve’s thighs to gently clean up the lube, and then to his chest to clean up the cum all while praising he man and giving him sweet kisses.

Steve melted under all the attention, eyes staying shut as exhaustion hit him full force. Once Y/n was done cleaning him up, arms wrapped around Steve’s waist protectively, kisses being pressed against his head.

“You did so good for me Stevie, I love you so much.” The E/c eyed man breathed out, nosing his hair gently. Steve’s eyes opened for a moment, before closing.

“I love you too.” He all but slurred out, causing Y/n to chuckle. “Get some sleep baby, we can talk in the morning.” And with the man he loves protecting him Steve got the best sleep he’d had in 70 years.

#marvel #avengers #mcu #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #marvel x you #avengers x reader #avengers x male reader #avengers x you #mcu x reader #mcu x male reader #mcu x you #Steve rogers #Steve Rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x male reader #Steve Rogers x you #captain america #captain America x reader #captain America x male reader #captain America x you

[gay-snom]

contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

#its My post and i get to pick the subplot #i have...brainworms #wwx and lwj are foils in the public image theme change my mind #mdzs #mdzs meta #lan wangji #mo dao zu shi #stfu #meta

[cinnamonest]

the way my pussy clenched when i saw albedo got a 10 on sadism 👁👄👁 could u possibly elaborate (if thats ok, if not i totally understand!)

//tw: piercing, sadism

Oh yes, hear me out!

He starts off as like... guilty? Unaware? He’s not the most social person in the world and consequently hasn’t really had these kinds of experiences before, and given his general easy-going nature he wouldn’t ever imagine himself taking pleasure in that sort of thing. He jerks off sometimes, but he gets it over with pretty quickly, never thinking detailed fantasies, he’s got too much work to do.

But you know, he has a lot of built up frustration. Generally he’s an easy going person, but sometimes, honestly, the people around him... get on his nerves. Everyone, really, he’s always keeping a calm demeanor and that monotone voice even when sometimes he really wants to just kinda deck someone in the face if he could, but he internalizes it and goes about his day. There’s just... a lot of bottled up frustration, waiting to crack... except the bottles are filled with rubbing alcohol and darling is a lit match.

It’s a combination of that, and just being prone to certain things as certain people are, an innate quality. Honestly, it’s always the quiet, reserved, calm guys that are the biggest, deepest, nastiest sadists, really, and he’s not an exception.

Now, there are three major types of guys who are “sadists.” You have 1) sadists in the sense of guys who more or less enjoy just beating the shit out of people for no real reason (I’m looking @ u Scara & Childe) bc it gives them an adrenaline high and a power rush, 2) ones who have some anger issues (Xiao, Diluc) or have trouble expressing their emotions in normal ways and have bottled up frustration (Razor, Kaeya) who use rough fucking, choking, spanking etc as a way of exerting that anger, to get it out and soothe them. Then you have 3) the sadists that just... like it, crave it, need it, deep down on a primal level that doesn’t depend on their emotional state. And that’s the most terrifying kind there is -- the kind that can stay calm while they do it, that doesn’t need to be mad or even upset to desire it. It’s somewhat rare, some people are just... a little fucked up like that. They’re a blend of the first two, because they *do* get a high from it and often are that way to get out frustration, but sometimes they just do it because they crave it and love it.

He bounces back and forth between #2 and #3, but he’s one of the only yans that crosses into #3 territory at all. And he tries to deny it, the first few times. It likely comes into discovery by accident when he first starts experimenting on darling and giving them injections, or at a time where he really does get mad and punishes them for whatever reason. The breath hitching, the sniffles and whimpers and wide eyes and tears and begging get to him and what do you know, he’s hard.

And he’s not sure why, he blows it off at first as random. But he keeps thinking about it. He keeps hearing the sniffles, keeps seeing the images in his head, and eventually is forced to accept the reality that his brain wants to witness that again. It’s a combination of things, but at it’s root, boils down to dominance and power. Plus the taboo and wrongness of it all helps, but really, seeing you vulnerable -- you’re at his mercy, and something about that just makes his blood rush.

But the calmness of it all is what makes it so terrifying. He can get like the others when he’s mad -- that is, he can get to where he’s angry and just roughly slamming into you, pulling your hair and choking you, if you push him far enough, but honestly that’s preferable to what he’s like when he’s not angry, when he just gets a craving for seeing tears in your eyes. When he’s like that, he gets into slow, almost torturous things, and he drags it out with quiet and calm because ultimately, the rush he gets comes from your fear. 

He gets into some fucked up stuff, a little bit into the extreme end. Would definitely like to shock you, either with a collar or a prod of some kind, would probably design a electro prod to jolt you with. Keeps you bound to a table, arms and legs spread out, he finds new ways to maximize your feeling of vulnerability. He fucks with your mind, and that’s what makes him different from other sadists. It’s just as much fear as it is pain. 

But he does love the pain. The buildup. The anticipation in your trembling, so much fear and knowing it’s coming, the little yelp and jolt when he finally brings down leather belts to your ass or jolts you with electric shocks. When he’s experimenting, he does the same thing for the needles to your skin -- yeah, if he’s being honest he gets off to injecting you, hearing your breath hitch, and especially if they make you cry. Stretching out your tight little cunt as far as he can, moving on to your throat, watching tears gather as you choke, the feeling of you trying to pull back, moving onto your ass, listening to you wail and whimper and cry that it hurts, just like he hopes it does.

One of the most intimate experiences he ever has, one of the hottest things that he held himself back from doing for so long because he knew he would lose control of his arousal and fuck you right there like an animal -- piercing those cute nipples. He read up on it first to make sure he knew how to do it properly, but the thought of it had plagued his mind so long he’d never be at peace until he did it. And he’s sweet about it, telling you it’ll be over soon, it’ll just feel bad for one moment, he’ll give you something to squeeze -- but he holds your mouth open with a ring gag, because deep down he wants to hear those little cries. It’s exhilarating.

It’s not that he doesn’t feel sorta bad about it at first, but again, darling’s like a lit match to a flammable bottle. He gets a high from the feeling, and he can’t control himself.

#lena's asks #q #atml #.al

[plan-d-to-i]

1-people forget that in the universe MXTX created it is stated that YZY's situation is not normal, it is a patriarcal society so wives don't keept their names nor do whatever the fuck they want and they certainly don't humiliate their husband without even being told off, she's uniquely horrible and JFM is uniquely spineless. i always think JFM did love and worried about WWX but that last interaction he threw him under the bus to appease JC so his last memory would cement that he did love him

2- bc he didn't have more time to keep trying to make him understand and i always wonder how things with JC could have been fixed, easiest would be having had the balls to get rid off YZY early but if he divorced her (or got her killed lol) would JC have been different? or would he resent him even more for not protecting his mother? idk i feel like JFM was cursed from the moment he accepted to marry her and i can't help feeling bad for him

LOVE THIS. So I agree w like 99.9999% only my feelings over JFM change every five minutes. I never hate him but I vacillate wildly between i feel like he could've done more and ig he was himself a trapped in that situation so it's unfair to hold him fully accountable.

Madam Yu is an undeniably violently abusive woman who has married a kind, non-confrontational man. Most of JFM's flaws are only seen as 'flaws' instead of qualities because they framed as ineffective against someone as rank as her. I wouldn't even say he's spineless, because he does cancel YanLi's engagement for fear that it will make her as unhappy as his own marriage made him & effectively stands against his wife's demand on top of also passing on a very beneficial alliance w Jin Clan. (In fact Jin GuangShan is way more reluctant at the thought of taking this news to Madam Jin.)

Abusive relationships have their own dynamics so it's hard watching from the outside how JFM's resignation to his circumstances and avoidance are ineffective against, someone like YZY who materializes like a storm cloud to rain her venom down on everyone, especially WWX. Because WWX is not only bearing the scars piled on his back from YZY's whippings/'discipline' but he's trapped in a perpetual balancing act between JFM, YZY, jc and to an extent Yanli. He has to make JFM proud/see the value in keeping him around & at least in the beginning of his stay with the Jiangs we know he always tries to eat/take less than he needs, but he can't be so good & talented that jc feels threatened or set Madam Yu off. At the same time Yanli rewards him with soup and affection when he takes the fall for jc his first day there. This definitely establishes a pattern wherein WWX sees his usefulness within the Jiang sect in diverting punishment for the failings of those around him, especially jc, to himself. She also repeatedly asks him to just accept jc’s shifty behavior as a representative of his affection... bc she's a huge fucking enabler, which probably doesn’t bode well for how she’s come to interpret affection.

As for YZY she's the only one who paints herself a victim, when it's clear she's the instigator of the conflicts!!!! She’s literally the bad guy, boss, fly in the ointment etc. There's a lot of gaslighting in her interactions with JFM so I'm confused as to why people think that of everyone she's the reliable narrator or some poor sad victim of an uninterested husband??? She clearly does as she pleases in Lotus Pier, yells at JFM in front of Servants, accuses him of fathering a child with his friend's wife, she whips the head disciple for imagined infractions with a spiritual weapon! and pretty much just chills w her ladies when she isn't busy spewing venom wherever she goes. WITH NO REPRECUSSIONS. If JFM had been a woman and YZY the man I'm sure all her cringe stans would be frothing at the mouth to drag her(yzy) to hell by the balls.

People love to accuse JFM of favoritism towards WWX or showing him more affection. To me it's clear that for JMF, WWX is simply an extension of his father/friend & ultimately a subordinate in the Jiang household. JFM clearly cares about jc, it's not his fault that jc doesn't get it, and it's not his fault that YZY is always poisoning their relationship. JFM for his part is still trying to guide jc towards how he's meant to occupy his future position as Clan leader, quite gently too considering jiang cheng was berating WWX for saving their allies... I’m sure if anything JFM hoped WWX’s morality and sense of right and wrong would rub off a bit on jc & why wouldn't you want someone immensely talented and loyal and devoted to the well being of your son and family around?? JFM did a nice thing getting WWX off the streets but that doesn’t mean he also didn’t think WWX could be a good friend to jc who when WWX is first brought to Lotus Pier has ZERO friends, and was likely to remain with zero friends considering his personality. Only someone like WWX who is forced by circumstances, & his kind nature & gratitude to the Jiangs would be in a position to befriend him. So I think it's laughable to say JFM favors WWS when WWX was the sacrificial lamb friend/pet JFM gifted his son. Not to mention that the only person who says JFM doesn't properly value jc is again YZY. Ofc jc takes to like a duck to water because he's cut from the same cloth as his rancid mother and it's much easier to blame WWX for all his failings and misfortunes than to take a good hard look at himself or ever take responsibility for anything. jc doesn't do self reflection. There isn't any scenario where jc would have been a good person. He's lacking basic human empathy. His view of the world has him as its center. He can only relate to things as they concern and affect him and he doesn't even possess a modicum of honor that might keep such selfish impulses at bay.

To conclude, I totally agree. JFM cursed himself the moment he let himself be coerced by YZY and her Clan into marrying a person whose character and values he knew ran so deeply counter to his and his Clan's own. Sure enough under the control of jiang cheng, the original spirit in which Jiang clan was established is gone. It's a place devoid of warmth that people are scared to visit lest they be confronted w the screams of people being flayed alive.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #jiang family #yu ziyuan #madam yu #jiang yanli #the jiangs suck #WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO LONG FFFFF #I tried to edit it down 138431 times #this was edited 2000 times #I obviously consider YZY to be the shittiest shit to ever be shit on the face of the earth #and I think this is v JFM favorable at least it's meant to be but as always I cast a lot of shade all the way around