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andrewsleftknee · 3 years

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in a world where Neil is more comfortable with being on social media, i feel like he’d be a pretty good youtuber and would post some awesome pictures to his instagram.

here are some influencer Neil headcanons:

he starts his youtube channel in his sophomore year at PSU so the girls can watch back on the videos when they miss the Foxes after they graduate. he posts pretty inconsistently, and his videos rarely get views from people other than the Foxes. after his sophomore year he gets logged out of his account and he doesn’t remember the password. Neil isn’t too upset about it.

almost five years later, Neil is alone in his little apartment. he feels lonely without the Foxes, and he misses Andrew more and more every day. he has a sudden memory of the youtube channel he made in sophomore year, and tried one more time to get into the account. by some sort of divine intervention, Neil got in.

he watched the videos that he had posted a few years back, saw that they had still no views, so he opened his camera app and started recording. he didn’t think he’d even want to post it, seeing as the video was nearly impossible to follow, but Neil looked up editing tutorials for cheap software, and he edited it into something that was easier to understand.

the video wasn’t much, just him talking about his exy team, and that without his Foxes, he feels kind of alone. he told Andrew about it when he was too tired to remember, and Andrew told him that he should post it, so Neil did.

he posts a few other videos of him just talking when he feels lonely, and eventually his channel starts to take off. most of the people who watched his videos were exy fans, and tuned in to hear Neil talk about his recent practices, or how he thinks he could improve from his most recent game, but he starts to post vlogs when he goes to visit Andrew, which bring in the people who aren’t entirely interested in exy.

over the next two years Neil starts to consistently post videos once or twice a week and gaining a following. during that two years he makes an instagram account. Allison teaches him how to use all of the features, and she teaches him how to take nice looking pictures to post. Neil follows her advice, and Allison is blown away by how quickly Neil understood how it all worked.

when him and Andrew were finally transferred to the same team, Neil posted an instagram story asking what videos him and Andrew should make together. they did some of the suggestions, like recording a move in vlog, a day in the life, and small domestic moments that Andrew was comfortable sharing online (there wasn’t many, but the viewers took what they could get).

Neil asked Andrew if he’d start a cooking series with him. Andrew gave him a blank look and an emotionless “no” but when Neil set up his camera to film the video himself, Andrew read over the recipe, and sat on the counter behind Neil as he walked into frame. they tried all kinds of different meals and baked goods over the course of the series. someone in the comments suggested they make ratatouille, so Andrew made Neil watch the movie and they made it together. neither of them liked it, but Neil was happy that Andrew seemed excited about filming the video.

Neil doesn’t play games often, but he does enjoy playing the sims, so after months of begging, Andrew finally caved and joined him in making a sims series. they made themselves, and Neil let Andrew build the house their sims live in, which turned out to be more chaotic than he thought. that would be a common theme in the series. people found the series so interesting because the entire time Neil and Andrew would bicker about what they think their sim selves would do. they adopted cats, and a few months later when they adopted cats in real life, he named them after their sims cats (Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffykins).

Neil genuinely enjoys the process of editing and recording videos and he loves seeing peoples response to them. he never expected it to take off, or for Andrew to want to participate, but he doesn’t take it for granted. he bakes cakes for all of his follower milestones, donates the money he makes from his videos and merch sales to charity, and often does giveaways when he can.

(bonus: Andrew never tells him, but he only participates in Neil’s videos because it makes him very happy. Andrew knows he can’t give Neil everything, so he gives him this small thing that makes Neil's whole world.)

#aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg au #aftg headcanons #aftg headcanon #psu foxes

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keelywolfe · 3 years

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FIC: Welcome to Backwater ch.11 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Stretch finally has Edge's address, but as always seems to happen in this town, answering one question only makes two more spring up to take its place.

Read ‘Unconventional Wisdom’ on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

The dog spent all morning napping behind the counter, not rising for broom bristles nudging him nor Stretch stepping over him awkwardly so he could grab a few boxes from the top shelf to fill up the front racks. He did snore loud enough to be heard over the radio, but eh, so did Red so Stretch was used to it.

It wasn’t until the jangling cowbell over the door heralded the arrival of a group of kids that the pup gave up on his snoring and wandering out to inspect the new arrivals, tail already happily wagging. Predictably, the kiddos were enamored of their newest employee, although guard dog might be overstating things a bit. Okay, maybe a lot; it looked like Red hadn’t been able to get back to sleep last night because the once-filthy dog with a mess of tangled fur was now freshly washed and brushed, and he smelled a lot like the shower gel from Red’s bathroom. Cleaned up, he was a handsome dog, looking as fluffy as an enormous toasted marshmallow. Not exactly threatening, fluffykins here was probably gonna spend most of his shift on moral support duty.

The little girl who was currently the main recipient of the dog’s enthusiastic face licking giggled and asked, “What’s his name?”

“uh.” That gave Stretch a pause. He shrugged. “doesn’t have a name yet, i’ll have to ask red what he thinks.”

“Should name him Rover,” one boy put in helpfully.

Another boy chimed in, “Or Bingo!”

“Cheeseburger!” A little gal firmly declared as though no other name would do and Stretch couldn’t help laughing.

“is that a name suggestion or a lunch request?” he teased. All the kids giggled, including the one who’d suggested the name and Stretch gave one of her pigtails a gentle tug. “tell you what, here.” He pulled out a pad of paper from under the counter, flipped past the pages filled with inventory lists and cribbage scores to a blank one and wrote carefully at the top, ‘Name Our Dog’. He set it in one corner of the counter triumphantly, “there! now anyone can suggest a name and red can choose the best one.”

All the kids seemed in agreement that this was the best course of action, each taking a turn to scribble their suggestion on the sheet. He wouldn’t be at all surprised if ‘Cheeseburger’ was at the top of Red’s picks.

The kids eventually abandoned the dog and started a round of intense negotiations over what penny treats to buy today. Stretch left them to it, settling to sit on the stool to wait for them to bring up their selections to the register. His mind wandered idly back to newest side quest: getting to 637 Wood’s End Drive.

He’d already tried to look the address up on his phone’s GPS and wasn’t too surprised to see that it didn’t come up, naw, that would be too easy. So, first was figuring out how to get there and second would be figuring out how to get there. Not like he had a car and somehow, he doubted that Backwater had a thriving Uber economy. Maybe he could hitch a lift with someone? People were always coming into town in those big ol’ pickup trucks and the folks around here were pretty friendly, plus Edge seemed to be pretty well known. They all probably knew exactly where Edge lived and stopped by for pie and tea all the time. Surely someone would be delighted to help out, particularly if they were one of the lookie-loos from Mama’s who wanted to see Stretch and Edge on another man date, thank-you-but-no-thank-you.

That would probably be the easiest way to go about it, but Stretch found he was strangely reluctant to take that route. It felt a little like cheating, considering the roundabout way Edge went about handed out his address.

Anyway, if he’d wanted to go down that path, he could’ve simply asked Red days ago, but that right there was an entirely different can of worms that he didn’t want to share with any of the early birds. Red never forbade him from hanging out with Edge, but he’d been pretty clear time and again that he wasn’t too keen on it, either. Might be best if he kept any mentions of Edge to a minimum unless Red brought him up first.

He’d just figure it out himself, thanks, and he wasn’t any puzzle master, not like his bro was, but he had a little pride buried around here somewhere. Edge set him a challenge, damn it, and he was gonna see it through.

His absent gaze strayed down to the pile of bicycles outside the store, kid-sized, sure, but hey, wait a second—

“hey, guys,” Stretch said slowly, and the debate on whether to get two packs of everlasting gobstoppers or three paused as a half-dozen heads perked up like prairie dogs from a sugary plain. “if i wanted to buy a bicycle around here, where would i go?”

Heads ducked down again in a hastily whispered conversation, then the spokeskid popped up again and said, decisively, “Try over at the thrift shop. Miss Maggie always has old bikes for sale.”

“thanks.” He should’ve known. The only other option right in town was the tractor supply shop and while driving up on a John Deere would make a hell of an impression, it was probably well out of his price range. The kids crowded over with their handfuls of spoils and Stretch dutifully rang them up and if he tossed in a dime of his own to cover them, eh, wasn’t like they’d ever know. He handed over a paper sack of treats to a chorus of thank yous and the divvying began before the kiddos even got out of the shop.

“Oh, Edgar Allen said to tell you hi!” One little girl called back to him. She was gone out of the door before he could even think of a reply, all of them clamoring onto their bikes, their faces chipmunk-cheeked with their spoils.

Edgar Allen, shit, yeah, that was right. He’d pretty much been the first stop on this questline and Stretch’d been meaning to do something for him. He’d already rethought the magazine idea; what if it turned out that scarecrows couldn’t read, kinda insensitive there. He’d have to think of something, though, owing someone didn’t sit well with him even if that person didn’t qualify for traditionally alive.

In the meantime, the dog, bereft of childish companionship, wandered back behind the counter and flopped down with a huff, sighing deeply.

“yeah, go on and take a break,” Stretch told him, “you were working pretty hard there.” He stretched out a leg to pet the dog carefully with his foot and wasn’t too surprised that it didn’t care one bit about his shoe, only pliantly rolled over to give him better access to the belly region.

Stretch obediently kept petting, hell, he obeyed better than the dog. But his thoughts were still on the upcoming journey to 637 Wood’s End Drive.

~~*~~

Red relieved him in the shop a little later than normal, looking a lot like he’d just hauled ass out of bed. His shirt was the same one as earlier, only with a fresh crop of wrinkles and his eye lights were still bleary with exhaustion.

Almost, Stretch offered to stay later and let Red get a little more sleep, considering it was his fault Red got woken up in the middle of night. But the baleful glare Red sent his way was an unspoken warning that such an offer probably wasn’t gonna go over well. He kept his jaw shut tight and took the paper sandwich bag Red handed over before heading out the door. Time to get this side quest rolling, literally, he hoped.

The few times he’d met Magdalen May he’d figured right from the get-go that she, like Red, was a partaker of the Sheriff’s son’s prize cannabis crop. Not only because of her dreamy demeanor but also whenever she came into the store, she was surrounded by an almost visible cloud of pot stank so strong that Stretch got a contact buzz while she was shopping through the meagre selection of yarn that Red kept. By the time she left, Stretch would have a craving for Cheetos so strong he’d be ready to start gnawing on his fingerbones for a cronch.

Stepping into the thrift shop was a little like hot boxing in a hoarder’s closet but Stretch soldiered on, squinting as his vision adjusted from the bright light of day to a dimness barely above attic-levels. He went past shelves of gewgaws and boxes of dusty records, old clothes hanging from racks that looked like they’d been commandeered from a lot of remaindered furniture. There were tables piled high with ancient radios, cameras, electronics that Stretch didn’t know the name of and surely didn’t work, existing only to be parted out by an amateur scientist or an electrician in search of cheap parts. Antique glass was set high on the shelves, catching dusty light and sending a kaleidoscope of color to scatter over the room, freckling it in greens, reds, and yellows.

The entire store radiated a glorious sort of chaos and if it weren’t for the fact that he already felt a little woozy, he would’ve stayed for a while and poked through some of the wares. Maybe even find a new book for Red buried in the nearby piles, see if he’d be willing branch out into cowboy romance for a change.

He heading to the back of the shop where Miss Maggie was sitting in a rocking chair surrounded by boxes and shelves, knitting with flashing speed despite the foggy miasma hanging in the air. Her long white hair was smoothly braided and pinned up on top of her head, her weathered skin tanned dark and leathery. The weave of bright yellow yarn trailing from her needles was spread across her lap in an incongruous contrast to her dark, billowing skirt and the light sweater she wore against the chill of the air conditioning.

“Hello, Papyrus,” she greeted him with the sort of rough, croaky voice made over the years by a thousand packs of Marlboros. She didn’t look up, her attention completely focused on her knit and purl.

That gave him one hell of a pause. “how did you—” Stretch stopped. Great, he was in the soothsayer chapter and hadn’t even had time to prep. Yeah, okay, he didn’t really have any room in his life for another side quest, maybe let this one go. He didn’t actually want to know where she got her intel, not really, especially not with his head already spinning a little. He stuck his hands in his pockets to hide the way they wanted to curl into fists, rocking back and forth on his heels. “heya. i haven’t gone by papyrus in years, it’s stretch, thanks.”

“A wise choice,” Miss Maggie said. She sounded…different, somehow. He’d talked to her a few times now and strangely, today he couldn’t seem to place her accent. It wasn’t like the other townsfolk, all of them had a certain warm, down-homey charm, and usually so did she. Her words today were crisp, sharp-edged, nothing like the dreamy peace he was familiar with when she came into the store for coffee creamer and vanilla wafers. She glanced up at him over the wire rims of her glasses, her gaze as sharp as her tongue. “Names have power. A wise man keeps his true name to himself.”

“um. sure,” Stretch couldn’t stop himself from giving the door a longing glance. This was starting to seem like a bad idea, Miss Maggie seemed to be having a personality crisis, maybe he should come back after lunch. “that’s some very handy wisdom, but i’m here about a bike?”

She ignored that. “You have issues with names,” Miss Maggie told him. She kept knitting, needles flashing furiously in a rhythmic clickity-clack as steady as a metronome. “don’t you.”

“huh?” Stretch didn’t exactly have any flesh to get goosebumps with, but he felt a chill nonetheless, prickling maddeningly over his bones. His head was whirling, everything around him seemed to blur except the old woman in front of him. His tongue felt strangely thick as he whispered a question he didn’t want to ask, “i don’t…what do you mean?”

“Mmm, yes,” Miss Maggie sighed out, “so many names you’ve had and rejected. Had and left behind when you ran away, far, far away.”

“stop,” Stretch said weakly. His soul was starting to pulse with aching intensity behind his breastbone. The room filled with an electric heaviness like a coming storm, the rich green smell filling the room suddenly nauseating. “please, don’t.”

“Brother, lover, yes, but never father, not even once.”

“shut up,” Stretch said thickly. Or tried to, the words seemed to clot and stick at the back of his throat, refusing to travel over his useless tongue.

“And now you’re taking on new names,” she raised her head, and here in the dim, her eyes seemed like dark pools of pure blackness that reflected nothing of the flickering overhead lights. Her grin seemed unpleasant and wide, showing pale pink gums in an endless maw. “Is it friend you seek or something else, I wonder?”

As she turned towards him, her sleeve caught on the sugar bowl set on the table next to her, sending it tumbling to the floor. The burst of sound as it shattered pushed through his dazed distance like the snap of dry twig broken over a knee. Stretch jerked, blinking hard, and all the nebulous emotion in him surged forward, gathering and coalescing into real anger. He was starting to get sick of this shit, if everyone in town wanted to act like this place was Sleepy Hollow’s second-cousin, that was fine by him. He was happy to play along, but not if they were gonna keep sticking their shovels into his past to see what other skeletons they could dig up.

“look, fuck you,” Stretch snapped out. He turned back to the door, tossing over his shoulder. “never mind, i’ll figure out something else!”

“Wait!” And he didn’t want to wait, he wanted to push on through the door, but his stubborn feet suddenly refused to move. Miss Maggie clumsily thrust aside her knitting, hardly noticing her teacup wobbling, spilling tea and leaves out into her saucer in a wild splash. That funky weird woman vibe abruptly eased and so did some of the stench in the air, flavored instead with lavender tea. She waddled over to him, her long skirt dragging on the floor. Even bent over with age, she was impressively tall, hardly shorter than Stretch was, and he was a mini-skyscraper to most Humans. She looked up at him, her eyes a watery, pale blue, surrounded by a sea of wrinkles, how could he ever have imagined they were anything else?

Miss Maggie reached up to touch his cheekbone with fingers nearly as thin as his own.

“Oh, sweet child,” she said with mournful gentleness, and her voice was the smoky-sweet, grandmotherly one he recalled. “S’all right. Ain’t nothing wrong with setting aside a name you’ve outgrown, nor in taking on a new one.”

All his bright, burning anger collapsed inwardly, a card house with the center support removed, and hurt welled in him instead. He was crying, he realized distantly, tears stinging in his sockets, running down his cheekbones to gather on wetly his chin. He didn’t realize he was going to speak until he did, choking out, “it feels wrong.”

“How you feel and how things are don’t always match,” she agreed. She held out her arms, her gnarled hands open to him and Stretch leaned into them, burying his face in the soft, knitted shawl draped over her shoulder. She smelled like weed and lavender, a strange, exotic mixture. “i’ll get you all wet,” Stretch mumbled, muffled into the cloth.

She petted his skull gently, “It’s all right, child. I’ll dry.”

He held on tightly for a long time and when she finally drew back, she lightly touched his forehead with the tips of two dry fingers.

“You can get to his home through the forest,” she said, and it seemed to Stretch he could almost see it, clear as a picture someplace behind his sight. “Follow the exchange down about a mile, you’ll see a turnoff on the left. Don’t you stray from the path, you hear me, sonny?” Those pale, rheumy eyes searched his face for understanding. “Easy to get lost out there.”

“i won’t.”

“Good.” She let him go and shuffled back to her chair to picked up her knitting again. “Now, you mentioned something about a bike.”

For a moment, Stretch stood there, practically wobbling on his feet. He felt like he’d woken up from an unexpected nap, still floating in between the sleeping and waking worlds. Then he blinked, snapping awake, and looked around almost wildly. Until his gaze snagging on one of the shelves, or more specifically, something sitting on it, and held.

“a bike, i did.” Stretch walked over to the shelf where a bandana was sitting, a bright turkey-red plaid, and picked it up, holding it out for Miss Maggie to see. “how much for this, too?”

By the time he left the shop, he was in a fine mood despite his savings being a little lighter. He was pushing a rattly old bike with a squeaky chain and a horn that let loose with a hoarse ‘awhooga’ when the dusty rubber bulb was squeezed. The bandana was stuffed into his short’s pocket and the first thing he was gonna do was deal with that, then he’d worry about some maintenance. Probably better to find out if his new bike was streetworthy before taking his act on the road.

He used the walk back to the store to draw in a few deep, refreshing breaths of the heat-smoggy air, letting it clear his head.

“miss maggie sure smokes some strong shit,” Stretch muttered to himself. He left the bike leaning against the porch around back and headed over to the main road, taking his normal walking route down towards the corn. There were no kids on the makeshift baseball diamond today, looked like they’d headed off somewhere else to enjoy their penny candy.

The grass was yellowed and dying under his sneakers as he went off the beaten path, heading towards the rustling corn. Was it his imagination, or did those whispers get louder as he approached, even eager? The corn got lonely sometimes, Edgar Allen had said, but it didn’t mean any harm.

Somehow, he didn’t think the skeleton they’d found in the fields back in Doris’s day would agree.

“um, hi?” Stretch tried. There was no one around to see him and he still felt ridiculous, talking to the damn corn. “look, i dunno if you can understand me, but if you do, could you see that edgar allen gets this? i wanted to thank him for helping me out and i thought it’d look good on him.”

Carefully, he laid the bandana over a crux of green leaves and stalk, tugging to make sure it wouldn’t simply blow away. He left it there and turned back to town, hoping that the scarecrow got the message; as much as he wanted to thank the guy, he really didn’t feel like taking a second go in the corn maze to do it. He didn’t look back until he got back to the side of the road and there he paused, frowning. The splash of red should’ve been vivid against the sea of green but there was nothing, not so much as a glimpse.

He craned his neck, searching, but it hadn’t fallen to the ground and the wind wasn’t strong enough to carry it off. Maybe the corn had gotten the message after all? Yeah, he was going with that, and he headed back to take a look at his new bike, hands in his pockets and whistling cheerfully, which was a heck of a trick for someone without lips.

Yeah, he felt pretty good today and why not? He had a place to stay, a job, someone looking after him, and a dog. And now he had a bike. Things were looking up, Stretch decided.

Things were looking up.

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #welcome to backwater

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tirsynni · 3 years

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Today’s reminder; keep your cats inside.

Please. Keep your fucking cats inside.

Outside of the whole bit about the insane ecological damage one single domestic cat can do -- yes, no matter where you live, no matter how sweet your cat is, your dear Fluffykins can damage entire ecosystems -- there is the very real threat to your cat.

My friend let her senior cat outside. He didn’t tend to go far: he liked sunning himself on their driveway. That was over a month ago. She lives in a small, safe, secluded neighborhood. The cat is familiar with the neighborhood and adores her. None of that matters. There hasn’t been any sign of him in over a month. She’s given up. She’s devastated. She’s had that cat for fifteen years.

Please, keep your cat inside. My friend is heartbroken. It would not have hurt that cat to be kept inside. It won’t hurt your cat to be kept inside. There are ways to keep your cat safely stimulated inside without threats of getting lost, other animals, cars, or people with poison. Buy some catnip. Get a toy. Just please keep your cat inside.

The stories where people’s cats miraculously return home after going missing wouldn’t be so amazing if they were regular occurrences.

#cats

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lokischocolatefountain · 4 years

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Reduced Sentence

Pairing: Loki x OFC

Rating: Teen and Up

Word count: 3.5K

Part I, Part II

This is the unexpected Part II of Kitten from Hell. Can be read as a standalone fic, but it’s more fun to read Part I before this...

Summary: The Kitten from Hell returns to torment him, and Loki's partner doesn't believe that he has the ability to communicate with animals.

Warnings: Swearing, a little smut (but no sex)

A/N: I was texting @deckerstar-trash about how wonderful it would be to talk to our pets and this happened...

She was drifting in and out of sleep, conscious one minute to her dreamlands the next. Next to her was the pup that took Loki’s place in his absence. She was afraid of sleeping in the living room all alone. They had tried to train her, but she regressed when Loki was called on an urgent mission to an unknown, secretive part of Asgard. The moonlight illuminated the pup, highlighting every detail of her soft fur. She absentmindedly caressed her fur and proceeded to slip back out of consciousness with a loving hand on the creature.

They were the perfect picture of tranquility until a loud thud jerked her awake. It was followed by a whispered string of swear words. Still laying on her stomach, she moved herself to the edge of the bed, feeling for the baseball bat she always kept there. In her sleepy daze, however, she forgot to ensure Wiggle’s safety. He had somehow gotten out of the bed with his tiny, helpless, puppy legs and ran straight to the living room where the intruder was. She no longer had the option to wait for the right time to take the intruder by surprise.

“Wiggle, hey! Did I wake you up, buddy?”

The joyous barks, if not for the familiar voice, informed her that she had nothing to worry about. She huffed in annoyance at being woken up, abandoned the baseball bat and returned her limbs back under the warmth of her duvet. If he had woken up her last night in a similar fashion, she would have definitely used the weapon on him. Luckily for him, she had finally gotten some rest that day and hence not in a bad enough shape to destroy anyone who disrupted her beauty sleep.

“Shh, shh! We must not wake her up,” Loki whispered, immediately quieting down the excited dog.

It took a while for the two to come to bed. It warmed her heart when she noticed how careful Loki was to not wake her up as he changed into his pyjamas and climbed into his side of the bed. Her schedule was pretty erratic and he was always considerate to not disturb her when she rested. He took her hand that laid in between them and played with her fingers. For a man of enormous strength, he was incredibly gentle when he touched her. Loki’s comportment conveyed his yearning for her at having been deprived of her touch for so long, yet it somehow managed to show his considerate side as he restrained himself from inconveniencing her. Already tired of having let her fingers be still all this while, she reciprocated by entwining his with her own. Fingers interlocked with hers instinctively even before realisation struck him.

“Hey,” she breathed in her still sleepy daze, continuing playing with his hand. Like being sprayed on with water, she was rudely brought to full attention by the God who pulled her to his side of their large bed. He crawled under the duvet and let his fingers slowly creep from her shoulder right to her hand. The tip of his pointed nose along with his warm breath on her neck combined to send a shiver down her spine when he nuzzled her. Early on in their relationship, his blatant breathing in of her scent made her shyly bury her face in her palms, but they were way past all that now.

“You’re awake,” he said, his lips close enough to her skin for her to feel them on her as he spoke.

“Barely…”

“Did His Highness Wiggle Wagglesworth wake you up?”

She laughed softly, still finding their Corgi’s name too funny. “No, it was you who woke me up, Your Highness Loki Odinson, Prince of throwing things loudly to awaken his girlfriend.”

“My apologies, dear… Is forgiveness on the table?”

“No way.”

“Not even if I told you what was in the suitcase that woke you up? Not even if contains my armour that you found ‘hot as fuck’ when you went through old paintings of me? Hmm?”

Her breathing quickened with memories of seeing him in an old armour that he didn’t use anymore- apparently it had gone out of fashion two decades ago. But, she desperately wanted to see him wear it just for her eyes. It was in no condition for him to wear when she asked him to and she had forgotten about it until now.

He nipped her neck and she yelped before she involuntarily attempted to elbow him. It was unsuccessfully, as he was still holding her hand.

“You could persuade me for a reduced sentence,” she said softly, employing a sultry tone. It made her cringe a little and she was anxious that he might laugh in her face, but his response conveyed otherwise.

“I could…”

She reverted to a normal, non-sexual tone to burst his bubble. “Yeah, tomorrow. With the armour on.”

Tired from bifrsot travel, he gave in to her and their cozy duvet.

The next morning, Loki had singlehandedly completed all their chores and enthusiastically dressed himself in the old armour that managed to attract his partner’s attention. He didn’t know what she saw in it- or him, really- but he decided that whatever she wanted, she shall have. The day she showed interest in it and disappointment when he revealed that he no longer wore it, he rushed to his staff and ordered for it to be recreated to fit him with his changed dimensions. Initially, he waned to save it for a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary, but then he was separated from her for a month, and decided that there was no occasion more special than when they were both unbelievably horny for each other.

Clipping the cape on, he turned around to check himself out on the mirror. Goddamn, he looked good in it. His woman had great taste.

She stepped out of the bathroom, clad in his silk robes, when their doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” he announced as he more or less stomped his way to their door. The robes could scare unsuspecting Midgardians, but he would rather a bunch of fools be frightened by him than see his woman look the way she did in his robes. Behind the door was not a poor unsuspecting Midgardian, but two.

Steve and Bucky stood with Fuzzy von Fluffykins and his luggage in hand.

“I was not aware that he was coming over, today,” he said pointedly at the kitten who was encased in a sock.

“We are so sorry, Loki. Our surrogate went into labor and Fuzzy’s sitter isn’t picking up our calls. I’m sorry to impose, but could you please, please take care of her until we come back,” Bucky rambled.

He should slam the door in the couple’s face. He did not like it one bit that they were taking advantage of his partner’s kindness and dumping their responsibilities on her. If they knew they could not handle caring for an animal, especially one so horrid, they should never have adopted one. But, they genuinely seemed to be in a tough predicament this time. So, he rolled his eyes and held his arms out for the creature as he prepared himself emotionally to deal with the insolent little thing. The men apologised again, thanked him, asked him to thank her and left in a hurry.

He wasn’t exactly the ‘sex on legs’ she described him to be in the armour when she finally saw him in it. Who would be, when holding Fuzzy and his worn out bag of toys and cat food? The ties of her robe was undone, revealing her lingerie, and she was ready for their much anticipated activities. Her smile dropped in confusion when she saw Fuzzy with him. She definitely had a lot of questions, but it seemed she was not interested in any of them.

“Okay, you’re going to set him down on that cushion and get your cute ass to the bedroom real quick.”

“Oh, good!” He breathed in relief as he did what he was told and followed her into their room. It was an ego booster to know that she was attracted to him even after seeing him holding the dumpster cat.

He locked the door behind him as Wiggle had the bad habit of walking into the room whenever they were about to do it. It was as though she knew what they were going to do and stopped them intentionally. Maybe, she felt that they were trying to make a baby and it would result in reduced love and attention for her. So, she would follow them inside and stare at them. Loki had seen horrible things in his life that other hadn’t, but he had to confess that there was nothing creepier than staring into the eyes of you puppy when you’re having sex.

“I have missed you so much…” he whispered, inching closer to her and backing her up against the wall. She reached out a hand, running her fingers over the bends and curves of the design on his armour. She traced her index finger on one such curve, inching slowly to his collar yet not touching him. As she was taking in the novelty of the armour, he moved her robe out of the way as he let his fingers slither to her back. Her breath hitched when he unclasped her bra, but it did not stop her from her admiration of him.

She cupped his cheek and he hummed in satisfaction as he relaxed into her touch, his eyes closed on their own accord as his touch-starved body greedily lapped up her affections. He was finally home.

“You’re so beautiful, Loki.”

Earlier, he believed that someday his heart would stop melting when she so openly appreciated him, but it was not today. It felt just as wonderful as the first time she ever told him that.

She saw the effect her words had on him, even when his eyes were closed. A whole beautiful God stood in front of her, wearing outdated clothes just because she asked for it, and he was all hers. He pulled against his body, and she pressed herself closer to him, the metal of his armour cold against her barely there lingerie.

She looped an arm around his neck and stood on her tip toes to reach his lips while he carefully bent down to do the same. He was so gentle with her, so mindful of himself to not hurt her with his helmet. When their lips finally connected, it was bliss.

Their long time apart had escalated their need for each other. Slow, soft pecks quickly turned into more as they pushed against each other in a desperate attempt to get closer to each other than they already were. Her robes lay forgotten and she might have even stepped on it a few times. Loki was awfully protective over his Asgardian silk clothing, but even he paid it no heed. Her hands hungrily roamed his body as she looked for a clasp or button or whatever the fuck she needed to undo to get to his body. She yanked his helmet off and threw it at the bed, grinning as she threaded her fingers through his soft hair and pulled, making him grit his teeth. In turn, she expect him to be more rough with her, but he ceased his ministrations abruptly. His grip on her loosened and he listened intently to something.

His eyebrows furrowed and he focused on something intently. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“The cat,” he said, untangling himself from her body.

“No! Why are you ever listening to the cat now?” She asked, panting between breaths.

“He said something!”

“Oh, who cares what he meows-“

“Shhhh!” He said, raising his index finger.

“What the fuck, dude!?” She whispered, confused by his sudden unusual behaviour.

He gasped as though she said something to offend him, but with a delay of several seconds. It was almost as though it was a response to something said by someone else.

“That is it! He’s crossed the line!” Loki exclaimed before he angrily stormed out of the bedroom. Losing all hope of getting any, she hooked her bra, put the robe back on and followed him out to see what the fuss was all about. She found him in an intense stare down contest with Fuzzy von Fluffykins who tried to look more imposing than a squishy kitty could ever hope to be.

“What did you say to Wiggle?”

Meow

“Oh, I heard you loud and clear, you little demon!”

Meow

“You are in my home and I will not have you, a useless miniature tiger, mock her under my roof.”

Meow

“Oh, is that how it is now?”

This time, the kitten meowed louder and Loki lost his shit.

“How dare you!?”

“Okay, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is going on right now, I’ll- I’ll-” She clearly hadn’t thought through this threat. “Tell me!”

“He has been taunting and mocking Wiggle. He said she was a poor excuse for a dog, a failure in her basic function to humans due to her inability to protect us!”

Meow

“It is not like you are of any use to humans! Wiggle here, provides companionship, plays games, fetches the newspaper every morning and she is younger than you are! You, however, are not just a waste of space, but a menace to society!”

“Loki, that’s so mean! Stop it!”

“I am not going to stand by and watch our as our puppy is bullied.” As though glad for the empathy, Wiggle cuddled up to his legs and Loki, being the caring pet owner he was picked him up and held him in his arms. The dog whimpered and Loki whispered words of reassurance as he cradled her.

It seemed that all the non-humans in the room were in on something while she was completely out of the loop. It was exactly how she felt when they were around Thor and the two spoke of life experiences she was not a part of- those that happened before her great grandparents were born- and hence couldn’t understand.

“He was just meowing! How did you get all that from meowing?”

“His sounds are just meows to you, but I can understand them.”

She raised her eyebrows in skepticism. What did he understand?

“Allspeak,” he said, waving his arm dismissively.

“Wow, Oh My God. Really?” She knew that he could understand the millions of languages of the universe owing to Allspeak, but didn’t know that communicating with other creatures was a part of it.

“Yes,” he said, very casually as though he didn’t just confirm that he could Talk. To. Animals. Forget teleportation and cloning! This was his best ability. She began dreaming of all the things she could do with this special ability of his- she would finally know what dogs were thinking! She could tell everyone what dogs say when they were barking! It would be a blessing to humanity to finally understand what Man’s Best Friend really thought of them. She could- no, wait!

He was messing with her! It was April Fool’s Day and he was feeding her shit about how he could communicate with animals. Last year, he told Thor that Crocs with socks and all denim outfits were the pinnacle of human fashion . The poor man walked around with no clue about why he was being stared at- more than usual, at least.

“Okay, ha ha. You fooled me. Now, drop the act and come to bed.”

“Act? Our puppy is hurt, honey.” He cuddled Wiggle closer to him as though she was out to get their puppy.

She pinched the bridge of the nose and let of a frustrated sigh. “I usually enjoy you April Fool’s Day pranks, but not when it involves you abandoning me after making me all hot and bothered.”

“You think this is my prank?” He scoffed mockingly, “Oh, please! I have something big planned for tonight- involving mayonnaise and duct tape. Moreover, why would I fake a conversation with that abominable creature when I could choose the obviously favourable alternative of not talking to him.”

“This is all shady,” She said, shaking her head. There was something going on. The kitten wasn’t even supposed to be here. “Why is Fuzzy even here? Bucky didn’t tell me anything about dropping him off. You set this up!”

“Once again, woman, why would I intentionally put myself in close quarters with Fuzzy? I let him stay only because James and Steven dropped by with the creature and basically begged me to take care him. Their surrogate called and they had to leave town immediately.”

“She’s giving birth?” She vaguely recalled Steve saying that the baby was due this month, but had forgotten about it completely.

“I do not recall. I was too focused on getting back to you to think about babies.”

“I’m going to call them and check.”

“You don’t trust me?”

When she didn’t respond, and proceeded to text Bucky, Loki grew disappointed.

“I’m taking Wiggle on a walk.” He mumbled before he left, still carrying the dog. He didn’t even bother to take Wiggle’s leash.

After he left, she got the confirmation that Buck and Steve’s surrogate was indeed in labor. She congratulated the couple, changed into comfortable pyjamas and sulked on the couch with the kitten chewing on his toys next to her. She felt bad for not believing Loki when he told her about the baby and texted him her apology, hoping he would come back. She was however met with the ding of his phone which sat on the dining table. He didn’t have the habit of taking his phone with him when he went outside. It was understandable as he was not human and found no need for it, but annoying in situations such as this.

The doorbell rang and she excitedly ran up to it, but was disappointed to find the wrong Odinson brother.

“Hello, sister! Is Loki here?”

“No, he just left, actually. Took Wiggle on a walk.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed.

“Is it something important?”

“Yes. I came to collect my things. Long back, he stored my gifts for Jane in his pocket dimension. I forgot to get them from him and it’s her birthday next week.”

“You could wait for him,” she said, gesturing to the sofa. He gave her his usual wide smile and headed to the sofa before he stopped in his tracks. He shrieked a very manly shriek and dragged her, putting her between himself and the sofa.

“Odin’s beard! Why didn’t you tell me he was here?”

“Oh, Fuzzy? Loki and I are just taking care of him for a while until Steve and Bucky come back.”

“I have to go, sister!”

That was so silly! It was like the Odinsons had something against adorable, fluffy kittens. Were cats antagonised in their culture? Did they have a bad shared experience with one? She grabbed him by his wrist and stopped him from leaving. She had to know what this was about.

“It’s okay, Thor! He’s just a lil’ kitty. He won’t hurt you,” she reassured, but the tall, muscley God refused to forsake her as a human shield. She could feel his fear from the tight grip he had on her shoulders.

“He called me a big, dumb idiot with an empty skull the last time I met him!”

“What? Did Loki put you up to this?” She asked, suspicious of his behaviour. Last year, she was in on Loki’s prank on Thor. So, it was possible that they were pranking her together.

“No, why would he do that?”

“Okay, be truthful. Can you actually communicate with animals?”

“Yes, of course. Allspeak was a compulsory class for us, growing up.” As far as she knew, Thor was not capable of putting up an act for so long without breaking into laughter. He really was telling the truth…

“Shit! I have to go!”

Thor tried to stop her and said something about being too afraid to be left alone with the creature, but she had no time to listen to him as she hurried out with her phone and purse.

Thankfully, they had fitted Wiggle with a GPS collar, worried that he might get lost what with his habit of wandering off. So, she didn’t have to look for them everywhere. When she reached the park, she spotted Loki who was now wearing a black shirt and pants- his default when he got changed using magic. He was sat on a park bench while a couple of children played with Wiggle who was having the time of her life with all the attention being directed towards her. Loki constantly had his eyes on the pup, probably anxious that the children might hurt his precious creature.

She was the first to speak as she sat by him.

“I’m sorry. I really thought you were pranking me.”

He turned to look at her, but said nothing. He was still mad at her, but let her loop her arm around his and lean on him with her head on his shoulder, so all wasn’t lost. The physical contact must’ve softened him because he suddenly looked at her and smiled his sweet, boyish smile that others rarely saw.

“You could persuade me for a reduced sentence.”

#loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #loki fic #loki x ofc #loki x reader #loki fanfic #Kitten from Hell versus God #Reduced Sentence #loki laufeyson x reader #loki is a good boyfriend #loki loves corgis #Loki is a good Dog!Dad #loki fluff #loki smut #barely tho #he gets cockblocked by a kitten #poor dude

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writingamongtheroses-archive · 4 years

Text

Underground

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial. Set before Introductions. The second part is after Family and Date, when Liza is 8.

Isabella Dorado was upset.

Her father didn’t talk much to her anymore. Manny, Carlos, and Doll weren’t around anymore. She had to wear black and go to what Father called a ‘funeral’, twice. When she asked where Manny, Carlos, and Doll were, Tio Rafael had said that they were gone.

Gone, like when Senor Fluffykins ran away to a farm.

Three months had passed since the funerals. Father and Miguel had been arguing last night. This morning, her father had woken her up and told her that she was coming to the business with him. But when they got there, her father had gone to work. “Remember- don’t go near any of the animatronics.” he warned before shutting himself in the office.

Izzy was bored as well. A few nights ago, she had torn up all of her stuffed animals, in hopes that Doll would appear and scold her for doing so. Instead Miguel had come in. They hadn’t gotten a chance to get her new ones.

She was forced to wander the halls in an attempt to relieve her boredom. The business was something Father had started recently, when he couldn’t work at Ted Bear’s Pizza. Something about renting? She wasn’t sure.

She walked past an open door, then walked back.

Under a spotlight was Showgirl. She was the star of the business- 6 feet tall, able to sing any song requested.

With her blonde hair, green-blue eyes, and teal dress, Izzy thought she looked like Doll. She approached- Father told her to stay away from Showgirl. And babysitters had to obey the parents. Maybe, if she disobeyed...

She could see at least one of the people she was missing-

-_-

“Why are we here, Tio Vincent?”

Liza was, at eight years old, still not a big talker. She didn’t see the use for talking when actions spoke louder. So she couldn’t blame her tio abuelo for giving a start. He recovered quickly, giving her an odd smile as the elevator doors opened.

“I needed something from down here. Is that alright with you?” He asked politely, leading her down a hallway. She nodded, messing with her Ted plush’s little hat. “This place is really important, so don’t tell anyone I took you down here.” She nodded.

Candela and Marisol both complained a lot about how Liza was Tio Vincent’s favorite. They didn’t get to go to the restaurant after hours as much as she did. One Christmas, he only gave her gifts. He claimed he forgot.

They stopped at a door. “Stay right here.” he said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He opened the door and went inside, closing the door behind him. Liza blinked, before sitting on the floor next to the door. She focused on the plush, mentally singing a song.

She wasn’t aware of the brown eyes glaring at her.

It was almost an hour before Tio Vincent came back out, looking rather pleased at the sight of her. “Child’s play.” he said, helping her stand. “Come along.”

“Okay.”

#flash fiction friday #flash fiction #wip #writblr #writeblr #heartbeat #heartbeat series

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billydor-nails · 5 years

Photo

I may or may not have missed the tip of my middle nail while stamping, but I wasn’t going to re-do it, so here we are. Oops.

Colors Used:

Pretty Serious - Peachie Poo, Little Duckling, Fluffykins

Zoya - Danica

@twinkled_t - Glow Up

Maniology - Smudge Free Top Coat

Uberchic Beauty stamping plate 1-03

#nailsnails #nails #nail art #nail polish #pretty serious #maniology #zoya #twinkled t #uberchic #watermarble #water marble #watermarble witch #stamping #stamp mani #pastel #pastel neon #mani #manicure #nail designs

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smokescales · 4 months

Text

miss fluffykins

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #charr

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pinketts · 5 years

Text

Yonderland Series 3: Ratings and Favourites

A Rising Tide: 10 out of 10 Tuneantulas

Stephen Fry!

“Oh good. More fate.”

“If I had fingers, you know which one I’d be showing you.”

“Dick got slammed in jail.”

I want one of the baby Tummy Telly things.

Poor infatuated Rita. Still weird though.

[”Still no talking?”] “Still no mouth!”

Why does Jim keep being Elvis type characters?

Elder Pressley’s eyebrow waggle when Elder Flowers suggests Debbie takes off her robes.

[”This is a big decision”] “Maybe you should sleep with it?”

Elders 11: 10 out of 10 My Time With The Chosen Ones (In Waferback)

James McAvoy reference: 1

“When you look at me, do you see a number two?”

Parvuli reprise!

How’s Debbie meant to explain the replica Nick to Pete?

[”I feel like an idiot”] “We can get you one, we have loads!”

THIS IS TOO EMOTIONAL STOP.

She left her replica stick. Monster.

Why does there need to be a liar with a bad wig in charge in both our world *and* the fantasy world?

“Dick loves us and we love Dick!”

Imagine being hugged to death by Stephen Fry. Negatus is oddly into that.

[”We shall fight to the death!”] ”Perhaps a strongly worded letter?”

[”Kill them all!”] “Ah, the National Health for you!”

The Parvuli are all hot for Debbie.

“The only way is up, baby. Sorry, bit over familiar.”

Vex and Choop bickering is adorable.

“Oh God, it’s an idiot convention.”

The Bird and the Bee: 10 out of 10 Charming Millionaire Playboys with Legitimate Business Interests

Favourite episode this season!

That dog make up is amazing.

“I am...the Bird!” [”And I’m the Bee!”] “I don’t know this man!”

“As I said to you on our wedding night: stop worrying, and prepare to be excited!”

Top quality accents in this episode.

I could watch the Bird/Chris Payne walking to the door in that kimono thing alll day.

“Then I fell out of the vat of glue and into the pillow factory, and that explains why I look like this! Anyhoo...”

“Show these people the door, open it, and throw them out!”

“Hot Eagle? I think I killed the bass player...”

“Dodderiness is the first thing they teach you in butler school.”

“Looks like some kitty cat has strayed into...a pub.”

“You’d better leave now, pussycat, or I’ll scare you so hard they’ll have to change your litter tray..twice!”

Mr Payne is a dick but he’s very accepting of Archibald’s potential hidden life.

Dick Smell(s)

Pete is a bit of a sucker really isn’t he?

Boo: 10 out of 10 High Stakes Cake Bakes

The Wisp! The 50 50 Man! The Old Gasman!

[”Hearts and minds!”] “Kidneys and legs!”

Elf parties hard.

“We’re a team. Brains and beauty.” [”I fail to see what you bring to the party.”]

I’m not generally scared of clowns but...no thanks.

Some beautiful cross dressing here.

[”Magic Mike! Sexy strippers. Have you seen it?”] “...Have you seen it?”

“Let’s start this war!” [”Stop it.”] “Ooh, lucky I checked!”

I like that one kid at the party is in a suit and tie.

The Negatus Redemption: 10 out of 10 Mad Dog Faces

Ah, the old “whoopsie, drove into the sign” trick.

Potato, pa-too-too.

“Let me know when this stops being confusing.”

This camoflage guy is very Mighty Boosh.

“I didn’t think much of Negatus the first time he told me to shut up.”

You always have time to alphabetise the library!

Negatus thinks dead dog stories get the ladies going.

“They can think again, right Ron?” [”No, I’m left Ron."]

“We have two prisoners who’ve turned into pillows.”

“Where’s Mr Fluffykins?” [”He’s called Gerald!”] “They come pre-named!”

Swapsies: 10 out of 10 Terms and Conditioners

“Make people believe you will do anything for Dick.”

I wish I could get “pep, pep, pep” into more conversation.

“I’m not leaving an elf to be the mother of my children and the wife of my husband.”

DELF, Deb-Elf, DILF?

“There were buried right where we stand!” [”Who were?”] “Three men, and a little lady.”

“Amnesia?” [”Hahaha!”] “That’s not funny, it’s a serious condition!”

“I’ve just had your husband’s tongue in my mouth, and I do not want to stick around for the sequel!”

“I’ve learnt an awful lot from being inside you.”

Miss Smashing: 10 out of 10 Spots of Doom...er... Opportunity

You know, they make a big deal in the promos about Debbie needing to get home for her kids but... Pete takes them everywhere and picks them up?

“Telly’s working! Just needed more ham.”

“I saw someone burning a bra. No, not a bra. A witch. And she burned just as well as any man!”

[”You did get your pillow chocolate?”] “Ohhh, that’s what was in my hair!”

The Bird! John of Temple Meads! The Crone!

“I’d like to work with children on animals.”

These greasy haired security guards are great.

“You can either like it or put a lump on it!”

Go on Debbie!

The Time Being: 10 out of 10 Swamps of Budget Prohibitive Monsters

“Morning, Wood!”

Why do evil people always explain their plot to the good guys?

The rewind thing is so good.

“His Darkness has abandoned us more times than I can count. And a lot more times than Jeff can count.”

Tut tut, Pete. Forgery is naughty.

I wish I had the Time Being’s powers.

“Let’s get back to the previous present.” [”You mean back to the future?”]

Pete is the most oblivious man ever.

“Whacking Dick didn’t work.”

Nick’s thing is...weird. Let’s not dwell on it.

Seeing the Elders dead makes me sad, even if it was only for a second.

“What the hell is a conjugal visit?”

#yonderland #six idiots #idiots assembled #mat baynton #mathew baynton #simon farnaby #jim howick #martha howe-douglas #ben willbond #larry rickard

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