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#sam is written in way that she's now infamous for being one of the most hated characters in the fandom
reanimatedgh0ul · 1 month
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it's crazy how when you really think abt it like all the teen girl characters besides maybe jazz are like all done dirty when it comes to their character writing in some way actually
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psi-king-roadie · 3 years
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Raz is autistic.
Not just autistic-coded— although you can claim that his psychic powers could me a methaphor for autism if you want— but also just autistic. Why? Here is my essay:
He stims. The boy stims!!! A lot!!! If you stay motionless in either PS 1 or 2, the kid can’t stay still, and has idle animations of doing acrobatics and stretches in place as well as dancing, mimicking Bobby Zilch’s infamous taunting dance.
He has trouble connecting with his peers in both games, from the campers at whispering rock claiming he’s a lake monster, to the interns hazing him and using him to fulfill their tasks to get out of work. Even his own siblings like to mess with him, or are just straight up cruel to him (we’ll get back to them later).
Outside of Lili, Dogen, and maybe Sam, Raz doesn’t make friends with kids his own age easily —or at least fails to catch social cues on people thinking he is too focused on being a psychic— and often gravitates to connecting with his teachers, mentors, and painters in insane asylums (I always got the feeling he got along better with Edgar Teegle, especially considering he references the painter in Rhombus of Ruin). He even had trouble connecting with Lili at first. Side note: She’s also neurodivergent, but was less engaging at first because she was under-stimulated. Until Raz connected with her about their shared nightmare, when she revealed she read the same comics he did, she mocked him almost as cruelly as Bobby.
When he goes into Helmut’s mind, he knows what Sensory Overload and Panic Attacks is. Raz is fairly young, so it’s surprising that he knows about these terms as well as what they means in the context of the situation. Therefore, its likely that he’s experienced both of these before. Probably during a performance when he was younger, since he now seems to be very comfortable performing in front of people despite being so young. Bear in mind, I’m using his younger siblings as reference for how young the Aquatos are when they start performing. Raz most likely learned to somersault before he learned to crawl. So odds were there have been a fair share of baby Aquatos having temper tantrums on stage.
My bet is that Augustus used to use his mental link with Raz to help him calm down, through telekinesis and telepathy. This in turn helped awaken Raz’s psychic abilities, allowing him to read minds. Raz seems to be the only one who can do it in the first game, since he reads Lili’s mind multiple times. Hence, this is why Raz is hyper focused on learning to broaden his psychic horizons. It brings him comfort to learn to control them.
Furthermore, being psychic can be an extended metaphor of him being autistic because of how his family treats him. Some of his family members accept him as a psychic, like his father, and even recognize it as a part of family history —which is an important look at how mental disorders are commonly genetic but have been mistreated in earlier generations due to misunderstanding of mental conditions— allowing Augustus to embrace his own powers. Meanwhile, others think of it as “just a phase” and choose to ignore it, like his mother, or outright use him being psychic as blame for all the family’s problems, like Dion or Frazie.
Everything tying into a Family Curse is often how mental disorders like Autism, ADD, ADHD, BPD, Bipolar Disorder, etc, are all written off in many families, and as a result they’re misunderstood, which only end up hurting future generations when they’re ignored or not addressed in a healthy way.
Which is why the ending to the game very important to me OK?????
In conclusion, Raz is autistic because of this evidence I’ve presented but also because I like Raz as a character and I project onto characters I like. Hope you liked my TED Talk.
The End 🧠
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mypassionsarenysins · 3 years
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disremembered.
Past!Steve Rogers x Reader, Bruce Wayne x Reader. 
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Summary: Steve Rogers had lived his life, it was only fair for you to live yours right?
Author’s Note: okay so another crossover and for this I’m thinking of Christian Bale batman, so read at your discretion. It’s also a lil sad and some happy parts. Thank you to @stuckonjbbarnes @honeyloverogers and @buckysmischief
Steve stared at the roof looking at the white pristine celling. 
He waited for the other person on the other side of the room to finish with her nightly routine. 
He kept staring at the ceiling closing his eyes and for a brief moment he felt you.
His mind had the ability of taking him back to that night, the moment he decided to leave her. Trying to conquer an illusion, a fleeting moment of what should have been. 
His mind told him to do it, but his heart. 
His heart was the most unforgiving part of himself that never really let it go. 
And now here he is age clear on his face, wrinkles in his one youthful hands that made you laugh, that held you when you cried, now old and lonely. 
He had everything he was looking for, or so he thought. 
A knock on the door interrupted his thought making Steve get up from the bed looking outside the window as he makes his way to the front door. 
He opens the door smiling at the man on the other side who had his infamous frown plastered on his face. 
“Come in please,” Steve motions to the living room but the man on the other side doesn’t make a move, for a moment it looks like he could burn at the mere thought of walking through the door. 
“No,” the man says anger written clear on his features. 
“Bucky you’ve been here before,” Steve motions with pleading eyes, but Bucky stays unmoving. 
“You really think I wouldn’t know that Scott wouldn’t tell us what you wanted to do,” Bucky says as he gets more and more exasperated. 
“It’s not what you think,” Steve please as he closes the door and walks to the porch Bucky leaving as much distance as possible. 
“No it’s much worse,” Bucky says. 
“Sam and I receive this call from Scott saying that you met to get back to the past to get back to her.” Bucky says. 
“You already lived your life Steve, you have a wife, kids, and grandkids.” Bucky motions at the house. 
The house that he build but thought of you in every detail, when Peggy would ask about why he would say. 
“Because its meant to be that way.”
She never really mentioned it again but the essence of her was in the house of all time. 
From the constant need to have sunflowers in the kitchen because, 
“Steve if there is gonna be flowers in the kitchen its gonna be sunflowers.” You said softly as you unwrapped the bright flowers from the brown paper.
Or how he still kept the little folded handkerchief you embroided because, 
“That is more your style Steve.” You said softly as you stand on your toes and kiss him softly on the lips.
After all those years Steve could still see you, feel you, and on some night he can almost touch you. 
“Bucky I don’t think you understand, this, this is meant to be hers,” Steve says looking up at the house that took him a good decade yo built.
When Peggy asked him why the changes to the house he was never brave enough to admit that the house never felt his and Peggy’s, he always felt this should’ve been your house with him. 
“This is not her house Steve! She already has a home,” Bucky says accentuating each word he said. 
“Her home, with her fiancé” Bucky said louder coming face to face to the man in front of him. 
The words surprised Steve more than it should. He knew he had no right to complain at this point. You were free the moment he left her, he assumed you would move forward, but he felt the slight betrayal in his core. 
But who was Steve to judge when he was the first one to move forward. 
Still that voice in the back of his mind that always brought you up was, angry, to say the least. 
Steve takes a deep breath and takes a seat over the rocking chairs on the front porch. Another touched you where enamored by. 
“Steve, when we get our house he have to put rocking chairs in the front porch.” You said sternly yet a smile shone on your face. 
“Why is that sweetheart?” Steve ask as serially as he can with you sitting on his lap. 
“Because I know we are growing old together, and you of all people should know that people of a certain age like rocking chairs on the porch, old man.” You say that last part and leap out of his lap running away you giggles is all that can be heard in the apartment as Steve laughs and runs after you. 
“Tell me about it,” Steve motions to the chair, but Bucky stays still.
“Steve you just have to let it go,” Bucky tries to appeal Steve but he knows it’s a lost cause. 
Bucky sighs and sits on the step on the porch, his back turned to Steve as he recalls the news and everything that lead up to it. 
“She actually left New York a couple of weeks after you left,” Bucky recalls with sadness on his eyes. 
Bucky remembers how betrayed he felt, you where leaving him, just like Steve. Of course now he realizes it was for the best, but at the moment, he had a different mind set. 
“You are gonna leave me to? Huh? My so called new sister, just gonna walk away like him?” Bucky yells angry as you turn to him shocked face and tears on your eyes. 
“You don’t get to compare what happened,” You drop the box in your hands and sob. Your sobs clear Bucky’s head for a minute. 
“Steve left us Bucky, he left to follow his dreams, I am allowed to try to move forward!” You yell from the place on the floor as you hug your knees. 
Bucky slowly approaches you realizing that this is bigger than he could’ve ever imagined. He realized in that moment that he was supposed to be Steve’s past, but you, you that opened you life to him. 
You so soft and tender, never an ounce of judgment or regret of letting him in. 
You that tenderly took care of him, welcome him into your home, and called him your brother to anyone who would listen. 
You where supposed to be Steve’s future. 
And now all you both had left was the whole Steve Rogers left. 
“Don’t cry petal, I’m sorry,” He says tenderly as he reaches for you slowly. 
“Do you think that I want to leave my home. My whole life behind.” You say as you calm down and look at Bucky with sadness, but love for him. 
“I know Steve left you too, but you can come with me to Gotham. “ you say as you look at him with determination. 
“But New York is my home,”  Bucky tries to reason. 
“But it’s bit mine anymore,” You say softly as you hold his hand. 
“I am always here Bucky, I just can’t be here anymore.” You motion at the left overs of you heart. 
“I know I am just afraid,” Bucky rest his head on your shoulder. 
“I know but I am you sister James Barnes,” you say determination clear in his voice. 
“ Also someone’s gotta keep an eye on Sam, he’s your responsibility now you know? Handling Captan Americas’. That should be you new name.” You joke making Bucky laugh. 
“Alright let’s finish this before the pigeon arrives and see us sad. He can stand people being sad, he always has to be so happy and sunshine-y.” Bucky says as he stands up and hold his hand out for yours. 
You smile up at him as he hold you up he envelops his arms around you hugging you desperately. 
“Thank you, for being here, I am really going to miss you,” he says softly. 
“I am always here, never forget that,” you whisper. 
As you continue to hug the front door announce loudly the third person of the party arrived. 
“So I go out for pizza in the cold streets of New Yorker and this is how I find you red eyes and hugging like we are never gonna see each other again?” Sam asks leaving the two large pizzas on the table. 
“As if you could get rid so easily of me,” you say as you open you arms, Sam jumping in. 
“Never petal, we are family here.” Sam says as Bucky hums in agreement. 
“Okay that’s enough of the mushy stuff we gotta get this lady to Gotham city!” Sam yells as you all laugh. 
In that moment Bucky felt like everything would be alight and true to your word, even if you had to fly to New York or Louisiana, you where there even of it was for something as simple as birthdays, holidays, or just because Bucky was missing you. 
Bucky tells the story more of a reminder of who you where, than to tell Steve about you. 
From the past years Bucky visited Steve he never brought you up. He felt like his loyalty was to you. 
“So she left everything behind huh?” Steve wonder heaviness in his heart, but a small light shining knowing Bucky was never really alone. 
“I think thats what she needed to heal.” Bucky says standing up. 
“She was always there, at the end of the line.” Bucky says harshly and with protection written all over the place. 
“Bucky,” Steve stands up to reach him. 
“I need to go weddings gonna be next week and I can’t wait. I’m giving her away,” Bucky says as a smile makes a way to his eyes. 
“You know I always thought I’d be you at the end of the altar.” Bucky says as he starts leaving. 
“Also if you really need to know you should look at social media, everything you want to know about him is there.” Bucky says walking out suddenly he stops. 
“Tell the misses I said goodnight.” Bucky says looking up at the house one last time as he gets on his bike driving away leaving a trail on dirt behind him. 
Steve sits there for a while emotions swirling in his being. 
As he pulls his cellphone out he hears soft steps and he looks up to look at his wife. 
“Steve you’ve been here for an hour what happened?” Peggy says taking the chair next to him concern on his face. 
“I just- Bucky came over, he just needed someone to talk to.” Steve says as he tries to smile hiding yet more emotions form his wife. 
He was good at that, he guessed. 
“Oh strange he didn’t stay,” she shrugs standing up. 
“Yeah guys stuff you know,” Steve tries to laugh as Peggy smiles at him. 
“Oh this also arrived on the mail today,” Peggy hands him a white luxurious envelope. 
“Alright I’m going to bed,” She says as she kisses his cheek. 
“Okay I’ll be there in a minute.” He says as she heads back inside. 
He looks at the envelope and think nothing of it thinking its an invitation from Pepper. As he opens it and reads it he stays silent his eyes roaming all over the written words. 
            You are cordially invited to the wedding of 
                               Bruce Thomas Wayne                                              And                                (Y/N)(Y/M/N)(Y/L/N)
    Who’s nuptials will be taking place in
The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
    Located at 1000 5th Ave, New York, New York. 
Steve can’t even finish reading as he drops the paper. 
Anger and sadness fill him as he stares at the mocking piece of paper on the floor. 
He takes out his phone opening google and typing Bruce Wayne and thousands of result pop up. He opens the wikipedia article and starts reading. After reading some information he looks at the some pictures and he sees it. You and him on a red carpet for one of his galas or something smiles all over as he click the article states very clear that since you went public with him he was seen visibly happier. He can’t help but mad at him, you, and specially himself. 
He sits again in the rocking chair, the one you where meant to grow old together on, and stare at the horizon thinking of you and what to do with the wedding invitation at his feet. 
How could he get back to you?  
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cappymightwrite · 3 years
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What draws you to incest ?
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*sighs* Ok, here we go. I'm a real card carrying Jonsa now aren't I?
Anon, listen. I know this is an anti question that gets bandied about a lot, aimed at provoking, etc, when we all know no Jonsa is out here being all you know what, it really is the incest, and the incest alone, that draws me in. I mean, come on now. Grow up.
If I was "drawn" to incest I'd be a fan of Cersei x Jaime, Lucrezia x Cesare, hell Oedipus x Jocasta etc... but I haven't displayed any interest in them now, have I? So, huh, it can't be that.
Frankly, it's a derivitive question that is really missing the mark. I'm not "drawn" to it, though yeah, it is an unavoidable element of Jonsa. The real question you should be asking though, is what draws GRRM to it? Because he obviously is drawn to it, specifically what is termed the "incest motif" in academic and literary scholarship. That is a far more worthwhile avenue of thinking and questioning, compared with asking me. Luckily for you though anon, I sort of anticipated getting this kind of question so had something in my drafts on standby...
You really don't have to look far, or that deeply, to be hit over the head by the connection between GRRM's literary influences and the incest motif. I mean, let's start with the big cheese himself, Tolkein:
Tolkein + Quenta Silmarillion
We know for definite that GRRM has been influenced by Tolkein, and in The Silmarillion you notably have a case of unintentional incest in Quenta Silmarillion, where Túrin Turambar, under the power of a curse, unwittingly murders his friend, as well as marries and impregnates his sister, Nienor Níniel, who herself had lost her memory due to an enchantment.
Mr Tolkein, "what draws you to incest?"
Old Norse + Völsunga saga
Tolkein, as a professor of Anglo-Saxon, was hugely influenced by Old English and Old Norse literature. The story of the ring Andvaranaut, told in Völsunga saga, is strongly thought to have been a key influence behind The Lord of the Rings. Also featured within this legendary saga is the relationship between the twins Signy and Sigmund — at one point in the saga, Signy tricks her brother into sleeping with her, which produces a son, Sinfjotli, of pure Völsung blood, raised with the singular purpose of enacting vengence.
Anonymous Norse saga writer, "what draws you to incest?"
Medieval Literature as a whole
A lot is made of how "true" to the storied past ASOIAF is, how reflective it is of medieval society (and earlier), its power structures, its ideals and martial values etc. ASOIAF, however, is not attempting historical accuracy, and should not be read as such. Yet it is clearly drawing from a version of the past, as depicted in medieval romances and pre-Christian mythology for instance, as well as dusty tomes on warfare strategy. As noted by Elizabeth Archibald in her article Incest in Medieval Literature and Society (1989):
Of course the Middle Ages inherited and retold a number of incest stories from the classical world. Through Statius they knew Oedipus, through Ovid they knew the stories of Canace, Byblis, Myrrha and Phaedra. All these stories end more or less tragically: the main characters either die or suffer metamorphosis. Medieval readers also knew the classical tradition of incest as a polemical accusation,* for instance the charges against Caligula and Nero. – p. 2
The word "polemic" is connected to controversy, to debate and dispute, therefore these classical texts were exploring the incest motif in order to create discussion on a controversial topic. In a way, your question of "what draws you to incest?" has a whiff of polemical accusation to it, but as I stated, you're missing the bigger question.
Moving back to the Middle Ages, however, it is interesting that we do see a trend of more incest stories appearing within new narratives between the 11th and 13th centuries, according to Archibald:
The texts I am thinking of include the legend of Judas, which makes him commit patricide and then incest before betraying Christ; the legend of Gregorius, product of sibling incest who marries his own mother, but after years of rigorous penance finally becomes a much respected pope; the legend of St Albanus, product of father-daughter incest, who marries his mother, does penance with both his parents but kills them when they relapse into sin, and after further penance dies a holy man; the exemplary stories about women who sleep with their sons, and bear children (whom they sometimes kill), but refuse to confess until the Virgin intervenes to save them; the legends of the incestuous begetting of Roland by Charlemagne and of Mordred by Arthur; and finally the Incestuous Father romances about calumniated wives, which resemble Chaucer's Man of Law's Tale except that the heroine's adventures begin when she runs away from home to escape her father's unwelcome advances. – p. 2
I mean... that last bit sounds eerily quite close to what we have going on with Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that from a medieval and classical standpoint... GRRM is not unique in his exploration of the incest motif, far from it.
Sophocles, Ovid, Hartmann von Aue, Thomas Malory, etc., "what draws you to incest?"
Faulkner + The Sound and the Fury, and more!
Moving on to more modern influences though, when talking about the writing ethos at the heart of his work, GRRM has famously quoted William Faulker:
His mantra has always been William Faulkner’s comment in his Nobel prize acceptance speech, that only the “human heart in conflict with itself… is worth writing about”. [source]
I’ve never read any Faulker, so I did just a quick search on “Faulkner and incest” and I pulled up this article on JSTOR, called Faulkner and the Politics of Incest (1998). Apparently, Faulkner explores the incest motif in at least five novels, therefore it was enough of a distinctive theme in his work to warrant academic analysis. In this journal article, Karl F. Zender notes that:
[...] incest for Faulkner always remains tragic [...] – p. 746
Ah, we can see a bit of running theme here, can't we? But obviously, GRRM (one would hope) doesn’t just appreciate Faulkner’s writing for his extensive exploration of incest. This quote possibly sums up the potential artistic crossover between the two:
Beyond each level of achieved empathy in Faulkner's fiction stands a further level of exclusion and marginalization. – pp. 759–60
To me, the above parallels somewhat GRRM’s own interest in outcasts, in personal struggle (which incest also fits into):
I am attracted to bastards, cripples and broken things as is reflected in the book. Outcasts, second-class citizens for whatever reason. There’s more drama in characters like that, more to struggle with. [source]
Interestingly, however, this essay on Faulkner also connects his interest in the incest motif with the romantic poets, such as Percy Bysshe Shelley and Lord Byron:
As Peter Thorslev says in an important study of romantic representations of incest, " [p]arent-child incest is universally condemned in Romantic literature...; sibling incest, on the other hand, is invariably made sympathetic, is sometimes exonerated, and, in Byron's and Shelley's works, is definitely idealized.” – p. 741
Faulkner, "what draws you to incest?" ... I mean, that article gives some good explanations, actually.
Lord Byron, Manfred + The Bride of Abydos
Which brings us onto GRRM interest in the Romantics:
I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers... which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don't know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there's always been something in a twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has. [source]
I'm already in the process of writing a long meta about the influence of Lord Byron in ASOIAF, specifically examining this quote by GRRM:
The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]
Lord Byron, "what draws you to—", oh, um, right. Nevermind.
I'm not going to repeat myself here, but it's worth noting that there is a clear through line between GRRM and the Romantic writers, besides perhaps melancholic "temperament"... and it's incest.
But look, is choosing to explore the incest motif...well, a choice? Yeah, and an uncomfortable one at that, but it’s obvious that that is what GRRM is doing. I think it’s frankly a bit naive of some people to argue that GRRM would never do Jonsa because it’s pseudo-incest and therefore morally repugnant, no ifs, no buts. I’m sorry, as icky as it may be to our modern eyes, GRRM has set the president for it in his writing with the Targaryens and the Lannister twins.
The difference with them is that they knowingly commit incest, basing it in their own sense of exceptionalism, and there are/will be bad consequences — this arguably parallels the medieval narratives in which incest always ends badly, unless some kind of real penance is involved. For Jon and Sansa, however, the Jonsa argument is that they will choose not to commit incest, despite a confused attraction, and then will be rewarded in the narrative through the parentage reveal, a la Byron’s The Bride of Abydos. The Targaryens and Lannisters, in several ways excluding the incest (geez the amount of times I’ve written incest in this post), are foils for the Starks, and in particular, Jon and Sansa. Exploring the incest motif has been on the cards since the very beginning — just look at that infamous "original" outline — regardless of whether we personally consider that an interesting writing choice, or a morally inexcusable one.
Word of advice, or rather, warning... don't think you can catch me out with these kinds of questions. I have access to a university database, so if I feel like procrastinating my real academic work, I can and will pull out highly researched articles to school you, lmao.
But you know, thanks for the ask anyway, I guess.
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shining-magically · 4 years
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so I’ve wondered this since the trailer came out years and years ago and Chloe defended the movie - was the red shoes teaser written by the same team that made the movie? were they forced to market it like that, was that based on an earlier draft, etc?? not sure if you know but you seem like the leading expert!
Sorry, this is gonna be an absolute novel because you know I’m an animation fan and the history and production of Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs is SO interesting and insane. Like, Tangled levels of insane. Thanks for calling me an expert, no one else was gonna do it so I just kind of took up the helm lol.
Here’s the low-down... The timeline of the movie’s production is an absolute mess and kind of an extremely wild ride. It was in production for ten years, went through a lot of different crew members, and went through at least two other major versions of the story before landing on the final version.
Since there’s not a ton of info on the movie’s production, a lot of this is pieced together from different interviews and context clues, and also a lot of what I’ve read and what I am quoting has been translated from Korean, sometimes pretty roughly. But yeah.
Here’s the story of why the Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs teasers and poster were so, so bad and fatshame-y and the actual movie was so, so good and body-positive. (With pictures and production artwork!)
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(This is a beast of a post so I’m putting it under a cut.)
All right, so. After its conception originally as a short story by the South Korean studio Locus Creative in 2009-2010-ish, Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs was being worked on and was set to come out in Summer 2017, as evidenced by this poster at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival, featuring a different logo and very different character designs for most of the dwarfs.
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In early-mid 2016, the first teaser (in which we see Snow White undress and then two dwarfs recoil in horror at her fatness when she takes her magic shoes off) was released, after the film had kind of been slowly chugging along for 6 or so years. (I am having such trouble pinpointing when the second teaser was released (in which one of the dwarfs basically attacks Snow while she is sleeping to steal her shoes), but I believe it was around the same time.) The teasers didn’t get that much traction because this was a small film from a small indie studio in South Korea.
None of the final actors had been cast yet. At this point in the production, the story was different, one of the many versions that the movie went through. As in the final movie, the dwarfs were actually cursed knights/princes and Snow White switched back and forth between two body types due to her magic shoes, but in this version, the dwarfs needed to steal the shoes from her in order to break their curse (rather than needing “a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the world” like in the final movie).
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The weird thing is, I believe they had JUST changed the movie’s story when the teaser came out. I’m almost positive it was released more as a proof of concept than as an actual trailer for the movie. They had just recently combined two separate characters (seen above), a typical pretty, skinny princess character (Snow White) and a cute chubby girl character (’Bonnie’), into one single character that switches back and forth between the two appearances when she wears the magic shoes (also they had just dropped literally half of the movie taking place in the real world, with a magic mirror portal, it was a whole thing). 
They didn’t have the details of this aspect of the new story hammered out yet, and the first pass at presenting Snow’s magically changing body type, was, yeah, not good and super offensive. This was a really inexperienced indie studio making their first film on a low budget, so even the animation and voice acting wasn’t great. I think they just wanted to get SOMETHING out there because it had been 6 years and they wanted to have something to show for it.
But here’s the thing. Despite how the teasers make it seem, this was always supposed to be a movie about body positivity, letting go of appearance-based prejudices, and loving yourself and others for who you are and for who they are, which we see in the final film.
I like to think of our film as a kindhearted one. Our intentions are nice.
- Director Sung-ho Hong
It’s important to keep in mind that this movie was made in South Korea by a 99% Korean crew, and, as I understand it anyway, in Korean culture, ‘fatshaming’ is not really a thing that is seen as overtly offensive. Also, children’s media there seems to have more adult things in it than in the US, which probably accounts for the more risque parts of the teasers. That said, I really believe that at this point in the timeline, the movie was on-track to be bad (or at least not very good) when it was released, and it would have ended up bad IF a few key players hadn’t signed on (which I’ll get to in a moment).
Interestingly, the movie’s producer, Sujin Hwang, said in a 2017 interview:
“[Both teasers] were solely produced to induce curiosity. They’re completely irrelevant to the actual story.”
- Producer Sujin Hwang
I think what she was trying to convey was that neither one is a scene in the actual movie, because while the teasers didn’t reflect the revamped story as it existed in summer 2017 (the time of the interview), they DID reflect the earlier version of the story where the dwarfs wanted her shoes, which is what the story was at the time they were made.
Now that we’re in post-teaser 2016, HERE’S where things start to turn around. After the teasers were released, my guy Disney veteran and native Korean Jin Kim joined the project. He and Red Shoes director Sung-ho Hong had been buddies for about eight years and Sung-ho had been trying to get Jin to come to Seoul and work with him at Locus for a long time, and he finally succeeded.
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Jin and his twenty years of Disney experience as an animator and senior designer on films like Tangled, Frozen, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, and Moana, had a HUGE HUGE HUGE influence on the movie. He redesigned almost all the characters, oversaw all the visual development from the moment he signed on, and heavily (HEAVILY) supervised the animation, literally going frame-by-frame through preliminary animations and drawing over them, teaching the inexperienced animators at Locus everything he knew. (Literally almost everyone except him either only had TV experience or had no professional experience because they just gotten out of school.)
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From an outsider’s perspective, it really seems as though Jin joining the project (and his gargantuan effort) made the quality SKYROCKET. Not just in character design and animation, but also in things like effects animation, story, etc. After he joined, Locus really started pushing HARD to make a good, high-quality movie, and his influence and experience from being a prominent figure at Disney was absolutely key. The studio also began to really study Disney films and other well-made animated films from other studios to really try and pinpoint what the DNA of a good animated movie really is.
I don’t have any solid evidence, but I’m pretty sure that Tony Bancroft (an animator and the co-director of Mulan) then joined the project because he’s good friends with Jin Kim. He is only credited as the voice director (the movie was recorded in English and the characters were animated to the English dialogue), but I am SURE that he probably also had a pretty big influence on the movie, because like... How could he not? I really really think there was more to his role than his title would have you believe, even though there’s almost no info out there about it.
So now the movie goes through a gigantic metamorphosis. Character designs, visual development, and animation quality are all rapidly improving, the story is tightening, and the themes of the movie (which, again, were always the same and intended to be positive) are being presented in a more sincere way. The movie is becoming the sweet, self-love-encouraging and body-positive movie that was eventually released.
I’m putting a gif from the credits of the final movie here. As we move into 2017, when the giant eruption of backlash occurred, please keep in mind that the story was finalized at this point and that THIS was the movie people were so mad about:
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Chloe Grace Moretz accepted the role of Snow White immediately after she read the script and she recorded her lines (I think) in early-ish 2017. Her co-star Sam Claflin also immediately accepted the role of the romantic interest, Merlin, after reading the script and recorded his lines in (I believe) July 2017.
In the summer of 2017, the story and script were more or less the same as in the final movie. Promotional images from that time show that most of dwarfs had been completely redesigned by this point and didn’t have their teaser designs anymore.
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They also released a few screenshots that look exactly like the final film. The movie was advertised as coming out in ‘2018′ at this point. Here’s a promo image from 2017 that is MUCH more tactfully worded than the infamous Cannes poster:
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So now we’re in summer 2017. The Cannes Film Festival. The movie’s script and story have been basically nailed down, animation is underway, and the Korean film company Finecut is beginning to market and sell the movie to worldwide audiences. They are planning on showing some footage to potential buyers at the festival, and they make a poster to advertise the film there.
Unfortunately, it’s THIS POSTER:
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Now here’s where there are some unknowns. By this point, the movie is basically in its final form, which is an adorable, body-positive story about loving people for who they are, loving yourself for who YOU are, and that provides commentary on society’s standards of beauty and how they affect how people are treated/viewed. So why this poster??? All I can really tell is that someone (I think Finecut) really, REALLY messed up and either horribly mistranslated the tagline, or didn’t do enough research to know that this kind of thing is REALLY NOT OKAY in western culture.
The above picture is shared and the internet backlash begins, fueled by tweets from prominent body-positivity activists like Tess Holliday. Even Chloe Grace Moretz speaks out against it, because she of all people KNOWS that that’s not what the movie is about. The internet then finds the old teasers from before the movie was revamped and it makes things worse. Producer Sujin Hwang profusely apologizes and says that that is NOT the message of the movie. Locus pulls the advertising campaign, and takes down the two old teasers.
“Our film, a family comedy, carries a message designed to challenge social prejudices related to standards of physical beauty in society by emphasizing the importance of inner beauty.”
- Producer Sujin Hwang
Voice director Tony Bancroft also tried to explain the situation:
“The truth is the film has a body-positive message as its core theme–it’s the opposite of what reports are saying. The problem is one poorly translated movie poster that has been taken dramatically out of context.” 
- Voice Director Tony Bancroft
And then... There was nothing for a while. The movie didn’t come out in 2018 and was delayed. From what I can tell, I DON’T believe this delay was related to the Cannes backlash. I think it was mostly due to Locus’s limited budget and resources, because as we know, animation is difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and easy to do badly but hard to do well. Also, probably with Jin Kim and Tony Bancroft’s influence, they REALLY wanted to make sure to do a good job with the animation because they now had a great story and they really wanted the movie to be a quality, worldwide hit that would kind of put South Korean feature animation on the map. Just take a look at how nice the final animation was:
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The movie was released in South Korea on July 25th, 2019. Unfortunately, the damage was done in the English-speaking markets and it was not released to an English-speaking audience until June 22, 2020, when it was released digitally in the UK. At the time of this post, there is no set US release date, but the distribution rights were recently bought by Lionsgate and the MPAA gave the film an official PG rating.
So who’s to blame? There’s no good answer. You could blame Locus for making those old teasers. You could blame Finecut for the competely tonedeaf Cannes poster. You could even blame cancel culture for raging against the movie based on one poster and two old teaser trailers without researching what the movie was actually about.
All I know is, it’s a damn shame.
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deans-haunted-baby · 4 years
Text
Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:
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Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.
We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.
Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.
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What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.
There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.
Moving on.
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Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.
Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  
Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.
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Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  
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Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.
I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.
This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.
MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.
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soldierswar · 3 years
Text
Kobik - Chapter VI
Bucky x Reader
Angst
Previous chapters in Masterlist
Summary: You, Bucky, Sam, and Kobik face disagreements on what the next step is. But when you eventually come to agreement trouble arises.
“I’m coming with you,” you declared.
“Are you crazy?” Bucky argued.
“I agree,” Sam added.
“As in for the first time ever Bucky’s not the crazy one. And besides, we don’t even know what our next step is in the first place.”
You rolled your eyes, crossed your arms, and laid your head back against the couch.
About an hour ago Sam called two agents of some type of organization you had never heard of before to come in and take the two guys in for medical attention before being interrogated. And by the looks of it, they might be getting serious medical attention for probably the next few days. This meant that if Sam and Bucky wanted to get this done themselves, you were all technically still on your own with this one.
They also wanted to take Kobik in with them. But both Sam and Bucky convinced them that she needed to stay with the three of you. That didn’t take much convincing because before Kobik practically collapsed in Bucky’s arms due to exhaustion, she was attached at your hip while they asked both you and Kobik questions. The poor kid had used up so much of her energy. So while the three of you were trying to work things out, she was comfortably snoozing in your bed for the night. Chances were that none of you were going to sleep anyway.
“So what now?”
Neither had answers.
“Listen,” Bucky said.
“This isn’t for you to worry about, okay?”
“Not for me to worry about?” you retorted.
“This was for me to worry about since the minute you brought me into this by bringing Kobik home.”
Bucky had guilt written all over his face. But guilt wasn’t what you wanted him to feel.
“Listen,” you said.
“You’ve trained me for countless amount of hours. And if today hasn’t proved that you’ve done a great job at it I don’t know what will.”
You turned to Sam for backup. He had to know that you were right to an extent. And he seemed to be thinking about it.
“She might have a point, Buck.”
You smiled, and instead of looking at you, your husband was too busy giving Sam the infamous Bucky Barnes death stare.
“I trained you for last-resort situations like this. Not for you to actively go out with us.”
“Well what’s the other solution?” you argued.
“Just have the two of us wait around for another ambush?”
You looked over to Sam again for some backup, but he seemed to decide that it was best to just mind his own business and went to go grab a glass of water.
“We don’t even know what we’re walking into. And the last thing I’m gonna do is have my newly pregnant wife follow us around doing dangerous shit like this.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Sam choked.
“Okay to be fair,” you started, putting a finger up.
“We don’t know how new this is.”
“That’s beside the point, Y/N!” Bucky exclaimed.
“Then what’s your bigger and better solution Bucky?” you shouted shooting up from the couch.
“You say you want me to be quote on quote safe but I don’t know if you noticed but keeping me at home to play fucking house didn’t exactly go as planned!”
“Y/N I’m sorry—”
“Sorry isn’t a solution!” you cried.
“Sorry isn’t going to keep Kobik away from those people. Sorry isn’t going to magically undo everything that’s happened or what could happen soon whether I’m pregnant or not. And sorry isn’t going to stop me from doing whatever the hell I can to protect that little girl from going through any more pain!”
Your voice cracked during that last sentence, and you found yourself choking on tears that had yet to fall.
You could see it now that Bucky was understanding why you were so adamant about this.
“Y/N?” asked a soft, sleepy voice from across the room.
“Is everything okay?”
You sighed and sat back down on the couch inviting her to join you and sit on your lap.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up kiddo,” you said softly while hugging her.
She shrugged and let her face collapse on your shoulder.
“What are we gonna do now?” she whimpered.
She knew that this wasn’t over. If anything she didn’t know if any of this was ever going to be over. And frankly, neither did anyone else in the room.
Sam came back around and leaned against the wall facing towards you and Bucky. Sam was eyeing you, and you eyed him back not to say anything more about the news that he just heard.
“We don’t want you to have to worry about that anymore, okay?” Bucky told her.
She didn’t respond. For a moment you weren’t sure if she just wanted to ignore his words, or if she just fell asleep again.
“We can find them. And find out who the bad man is.”
You rubbed her back soothingly over ambitiously attempting to get her back to sleep so you would no longer have to worry about her trying to get in on this.
“The people that came to get them are going to ask them questions. They might be able to find out,” Bucky stated.
She shook her head.
“I can find out.”
He narrowed his eyes curiously.
“What do you mean you can find out.”
And that’s when you remembered.
“Kobik, no,” you ordered.
“You are not reading their minds.”
“Reading their minds?” Bucky questioned.
“What is she talking about?” Sam added.
“What he said.”
Kobik reached out to touch Bucky’s hand to try to demonstrate and read him, but he pulled away before she could. There was no way he was going to let anyone read his mind. Especially not her.
“You didn’t know about this?” you asked.
“I knew that she could do some things with people’s minds, but I didn’t think that mind-reading was one of them.”
“So the cyborg doesn’t know everything.”
You couldn’t help but snort. And Bucky directed his .5 second long dirty look at you.
Kobik jumped off of your lap and sat in the middle of the couch between you and Bucky and directed her gaze to you.
“Why not?” she argued
“Because,” you counterargued.
She pointer at herself with both hands.
“Well if you want to find what you’re looking for, you need help. Duh.”
“Kobik…” you said in an odd motherly warning tone that had never really come from you before.
She crossed her arms and stared at you defiantly. Oddly, very similar to how you did before she showed up.
“Frustrating isn’t it?” Bucky teased.
For a split second, you envisioned killing him.
“Why won’t you back me up on this?” you looked back and forth between Bucky and Sam.
Bucky was too busy thinking to meet your gaze, and so was Sam. Kobik kept her attention on Bucky with her arms still crossed but now with a mildly hopeful expression.
They were not…They were not seriously thinking…
“Okay, why are you both considering taking Kobik but you were quick to tell me to back down?”
“She’s the one with the powers,” Bucky stated.
“And we’ll make sure that Kobik’s okay. They’re most likely heavily sedated in the hospital.”
“They’re pretty easy to get to without anyone even knowing a thing…Trust me.”
Sam silently agreed with him.
“Well, what about security?” Sam added.
“I’ll take care of that.”
“What do you mean by that?” you enquired.
“You know what? I don’t want to know.”
“You might have to,” he said.
“And what do you mean by that?” you frowned.
“I think it means,” Sam interjected.
“That you and Kobik are both getting your wish.”
One hour later
“Sam Wilson, when did you learn how to hack into a hospital database?”
Sam was sitting in the passenger’s seat on his laptop looking through the inpatient list of the hospital.
“I think you forgot that I used to work for Tony Stark, and I spent two years helping Steve try to find your husband. Long story short, it’s come in handy.”
You tilted your head and shrugged. Fair enough.
“Okay, I think I found them.”
“You sure?” Bucky asked keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.
“Well, they’re the only two people in the hospital with security registered to be at their doors. So why don’t you tell me?”
“Okay, okay.”
When he pulled into the hospital parking lot you took in a deep breath, and Kobik took your hand. She had been quiet for the whole car ride.
“You sure you know what to do?” you asked.
She nodded confidently.
“Okay,” Bucky began.
“So once I send you the message to get inside, we have about 5 minutes before hospital security gets suspicious about what’s going on with the camera system, and maybe 2 minutes after that before they start taking action.”
You looked at Kobik.
“How long do you think you’ll need?”
She looked up and thought about it.
“A minute.”
You felt relieved. You could probably pull this off.
“Okay,” you said.
“Let’s do this.”
Bucky was nowhere to be found on the hospital ICU floor. Which was in fact a good thing because neither was the security guard that was supposed to be guarding the door of the man whose room you’d be infiltrating. If everything went according to plan, the security guard should probably be inside of the room knocked out, and would be for a good couple of hours. You didn’t ask how Bucky just had a syringe of some type of knock-out drug on hand. But once again, you didn’t want to know.
Nobody looked suspicious of anything, so things were going pretty well. From what you could tell nurses were used to seeing security guards go in and out for coffee breaks without covering each other…which definitely seemed like a recipe for disaster. This whole situation kind of proved that.
You walked up to the nurse’s station.
“Visiting hours are over, ma’am,” said a very tired-looking nurse.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized innocently acting like the biggest bubblehead.
“It’s just…My husband is on this floor in room…536? I forgot my wallet here this morning and I really need it as soon as possible. And my daughter would really like to see him for a couple of minutes. She was at school when I was last here.”
He looked like he wanted to protest, but his expression softened when looked down at Kobik who was incredibly good at a fake pouty face. Who could say no to that little face?
“No more than 5 minutes, okay?” he sighed and smiled kindly.
You nodded gratefully and went on to find the room that you actually had to go to.
“Room 536 is on the other side, ma’am,” said another nurse.
Shit.
“Hey, nurse!” yelled a familiar voice from across the way.
It was Bucky…And he was wearing a security guard uniform.
“I think I need help with something. Are you busy right now?”
His voice carried so well that everybody had his attention, and nobody was going to ignore someone who was supposed to be guarding very dangerous people.
Kobik pulled you to come along instead of staring at Bucky like a dear in the headlights.
Just like Bucky said it would be, the door was unlocked. When you walked in, the designated security guard was peacefully snoring on the bench by the window. Poor guy was going to be so confused when he woke up.
Kobik was already standing, (or rather hovering over) who you had dubbed ‘grey shirt’ during the attack. She took in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and placed her hand on his arm.
You had worried about what would happen if he woke up and caused a fuss. He may have been restrained, but one yell for help and you’d be busted. But Bucky was right. He was very drugged up and didn’t even twitch at Kobik’s touch.
Her brows began to furrow after holding on for a little while, and you could tell that she was seeing things and people that she didn’t want to see and that it upset her. You wished that you could just take her place.
After a couple of minutes, she let go. Her gaze was intense and sharp. Her eyes also glowed.
“He’s in New York,” she said.
“They’re all in New York.”
Suddenly your phone lit up in your hand. It was an urgent text from Sam to you and Bucky.
‘Time to go. NOW.’
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“We gotta go.”
She made her way back to you impossibly quickly and took your hand to exit the room. When you swung the door open Bucky was right there standing guard.
“You’re not supposed to be in here young lady,” he teased flirtatiously.
“What can I say I have a thing for running into men in uniform,” you winked before smacking him on the arm before beginning to walk down the hall at a fast pace as he followed.
“They’re all in New York,” Kobik told Bucky.
“What?”
“The bad men talked about moving from Sweden to New York. They’ll be here for a couple of weeks. Or until they find me.”
He swore under his breath.
Your phones buzzed a few times but you were too busy making your way down the stairs and steering through hallways to get the hell out of that hospital to check. You figured that you’d take time to pause and look as soon as you got outside.
“Nobody’s following us right?” you huffed trying to keep up with Bucky and Kobik’s superhuman paces.
They both scanned the surroundings and determined that you were safe.
Finally, you reached the glass doors of one of the back exits to the parking structure. Mission accomplished.
“Oh thank God,” you sighed making your way down the outdoor steps.
“Y/N?” said Bucky worriedly staring down at his phone.
“I think we’re about to have company.”
Before you even had time to process his words you heard the click of three guns from behind you. And you had a strong hunch that it wasn’t hospital security.
“Hand the kid over to us, and you go free.”
Fuck.
Tags: @teenagedreams-bucky @typicalnerd98 @veroxloki @white-wolf-buckaroo @acciosiriusblack @pastel-boy-sungjae @flightsandfantasy @noiralei @unstablesleepygal
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starbuckie · 4 years
Text
𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰
challenge: 200 followers challenge by @angrybirdcr
prompt: “there may have been a slight misunderstanding, but nothing we can’t fix.” and locked in the trunk of a car
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
words: 5,504 words
warnings: post-endgame, bucky’s kinda a dick, enemies to friends(?), swearing, angst, mentions of violence, talk about sexual assault, guns, bickering, jealousy
summary: bucky had been adjusting to the new familiarity of having a stable routine, right until she walked in.
a/n: I DON’T NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO MARVEL. okay, great, done that, but congratulations on 200 followers!! i had so much fun taking part in your writing challenge, so thank you so much. imma be honest, there’s not a lot of romance in this, it’s some enemies to friends type of shit and i genuinely did not think this fic would get so angsty and dark and actually long, but i had an idea and ran with it mid way through the old fic with this prompt. also i had an idea for an epilogue to this, so tell me if you want that part 2 because i am on the verge of writing it. this is not proofread by a beta, but i edited it myself and hope it is okay. anyways, now that we’re done with that, please enjoy this rollercoaster of a fanfic i’ve written.
main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist
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Life in the twenty-first century was strange, Bucky concluded. Though he’d been free of HYDRA for around nine years technically, being a fugitive and in another realm didn’t give him much time to learn about the modern world. As soon as he came back, Steve had left him and he had to move on without his childhood best friend. It was hard for him to adjust to this century, with the new rules and the whole scene in general, but he seemed to make it through just fine. He’d come to peace with the fact that there was no escaping the fighting at all, falling into a steady routine that became his holy grail. 
In the new Avengers compound in Upstate New York he felt content and more sure of himself than he’d felt in a very long time. Everyone in the tower was quiet and kept to themselves mostly, still dealing with the aftermath of losing so much in so little time. But in that silence Bucky felt like a free man, able to walk around without fear of being hunted down every second and time to really look about this new world.
There were still times when he woke up in a sweaty panic, disoriented and terrified until he realized he was in the safety of his room in the compound. He’d flinch at loud noises in the quiet and his heart would stop, something that went by unnoticed by everyone else, though he didn’t blame them for it. Bucky felt extreme guilt for the horrible things he had done as the Winter Soldier, memories of bloodied and dead bodies, bodies he had made fall to the ground motionless. It wasn’t him, he knew, but his hand still had pulled the trigger. When he found something new a smile would split across his face, ready to tell Steve what he had discovered, until he remembered that the rambunctious blond boy was gone, a wrinkled grey man with a new family in his place. It still hurt him to think that he had left him so easily, with barely a goodbye. Bucky still had days where he felt so incredibly tired, left still on his bed as horrible thoughts ran through his mind, anxious about the future.
But then he found new things everyday, things that seemed to outweigh the bad by a whole lot. He’d found cool ranch Doritos were the best chips and that he really liked the season of fall with the leaves falling around him as he took a serene walk. He found that he really loved Frozen, the songs and Sven the reindeer making him crack a smile every time he watched it. He found that he could sleep in on his days without missions and Wanda liked her pancakes with an unhealthy amount of syrup on the side to dunk them in. He found that Sam was actually really funny, always making the worst puns or the dirtiest jokes at the most inappropriate of times. He found a new sense of respect and warmth in the family they’d built together, learning how to go on without those that they loved. He found that he was really enjoying his new routine and his new sense of peace with himself.
All until she walked in.
Bucky could still remember the exact moment she flipped their world upside down. Sharon had fawned over her, talking about one of her old SHIELD buddies who was finally coming back to the states. After the organization fell in 2014, Y/N L/N fled to Hawaii, running away to the one place she knew no one would find her. She was done fighting, or that’s what she believed until Thanos showed up. 
It was shameful, really, that Y/N was aware of all the problems that went on, yet did nothing to help. They needed her help, she knew they did, but she couldn’t bring yourself to go help her friends. Originally she was trying for a settled down life, planning to retire from the constant fighting, but after a few failed relationships Y/N realized that she wasn't cut out for that white picket fence life. Those had just been the dreams of a fourteen year old Y/N L/N, left empty and hollow by the horrors she had seen during her time at SHIELD. There was nothing left waiting for her, no family, no friends, but she was too stubborn to get back into the fight, so she stayed in her humid Oahu apartment and waited for something interesting to happen.
Well, maybe Y/N shouldn’t have wished so hard, that “interesting thing” showing up in the form of being snapped out of existence by a large, purple grape.
When she came back she felt nearly indifferent, knowing that five years had passed by her, and though Y/N felt nothing but emptiness she knew that it was time to go back. It was her duty when she had joined SHIELD to always be there and protect, and she had failed that job. But Y/N was more than ready to make up for it. Nothing like Thanos could ever happen again, so she called Sharon, one of her closest friends and previous commanding supervisor at the organization. She was ecstatic to have Y/N back, probably a bit too much, and before she could have second thoughts the girl was on a plane overlooking JFK, ready to land in New York.
So when Y/N walked in, with a tight-lipped smile and butterflies anxiously fluttering in her stomach, Bucky couldn’t help but despise her. Maybe he had formed his opinion off of Sharon’s explanation of her past, but Y/N got the life of settling down that he didn’t and he was infuriatingly jealous. 
“Hey, Bucky, Sam, come meet Y/N!” Sharon said excitedly. Her hair was put back in a headband neatly, two suitcases in hand as she looked at the two tall, muscular men. Of course Y/N recognized both of them, she hadn’t been living under a rock. Keeping up with the news of the Avengers and remaining SHIELD officers had been one of the only things keeping her from coming back, hearing of the terrible fights and destruction done to whole cities. She recognized Sam Wilson, the infamous Falcon being marked down as a “war criminal” in 2016. She never believed that crap, if he and half of the other Avengers were locked up there had to be a good reason behind it.
Then, there was James Buchanan Barnes. Now, she knew him from her eighth grade American history books, reading about the brave Howling Commando who had given up his life for saving the country, but Y/N knew him better as the Winter Soldier from her time at SHIELD. The fight in 2014 had been brutal, hectic in all forms, but she’d caught a few glances at the metal-armed man. He hadn't been in his normal state, with being controlled and tortured by HYDRA at the time, but the kid inside of her freaked out, remembering memories of gossiping with her friends about how hot he was in the textbooks and how much of a hero he was. That man was still in there somewhere, hidden by decades of reprogramming and mind-wiping, and Y/N was finally seeing him in the flesh. She would be working with him daily, living in the same space as him. The thought made her giddy like a middle schooler with her first crush,though his presence was intimidating as well.
“Hi there, I’m Y/N L/N, it’s a pleasure to be working with you.” Sticking out her hand, she gave a bright smile, already growing out of her nervous state. 
Sam quickly shook Y/N’s hand, giving a warm greeting in response to her introduction. Then she turned to Bucky. “It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”
His cold, dead glare locked onto Y/N, staring straight through her soul. It felt like he could see every insecurity and guilty action she had, and she didn’t like it one bit. “That’s Sergeant Barnes to you.” Without another word, he walked out of the room like a petulant child, leaving Sharon, Sam, and Y/N flabbergasted. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N, he’s usually more friendly than that, I’ll go check in on him,” Sharon furiously said with a painfully fake smile. Sam grabbed the new girl by the arm, linking it with his own and led her in another direction as he explained the usual training routine and schedule for the week. 
And while she was completely enraptured by Sam’s comforting words and the exciting compound, her heart still felt heavy from Sergeant Barnes’ cold greeting. 
-
She had tried to be nice. She really had. But after two months it was pretty clear Sergeant Barnes wasn’t getting any better, and Y/N was beyond pissed off. Childish, is what he was being, fucking childish. 
It started off with leaving every room she came into, blatantly ignoring her presence. When she would say hello every morning he’d grunt or even worse, he wouldn’t answer her at all. Y/N had begged Sharon if she knew why the sergeant was acting up, but she didn’t know either and just asked her to ignore him and his “crappy, old-man behaviour”. Sam wasn’t very helpful to Y/N’s cause either, but he was a great mentor and an even better teacher.
Sharon was really the only person Y/N had in her phone, her parents dead and no boyfriend accounted for. The rest of her family had wanted nothing to do with her when she joined SHIELD, but that was okay with her. She knew what she had gotten herself into, and it was an extreme risk to even be acquaintances with her. But now, living with several others in a compound that seemed so large after the great loss, Y/N became part of their family as well. 
It was nice to have friends again, as years of solitude on an island where she knew nobody had made her nearly desperate for more human interaction than with the teenagers who worked the cash registers at the grocery store. Y/N became an integral part of the Avengers (she could actually say that aloud now), going on missions and kicking ass just like she used to. Of course, Sergeant Barnes’ behaviour in and out of missions stayed the same, but she usually tried her best to not take it to heart and move on. After all, she couldn’t have everyone like her.
But one day they both snapped.
Y/N was sitting with Sharon and Wanda, eating lunch and talking over their most recent mission with them and Barnes in Cairo. It hadn’t been a necessarily bad mission, per se, but she had run back into the building to get Wanda out from under a fallen pillar, which apparently was “severely dangerous”. Looking back, she could see how it was, putting her entire team’s secrecy and mission in volatile danger, but Wanda was like her sister and in Y/N’s heart she knew that she had to. Bucky had had to grab them both, nearly dragging her back to the jet before the building had collapsed. He’d been beyond angry with Y/N for the stupid decision, but when they landed he just huffed and stomped away. The redhead was grateful for her and so was Sharon, but lunch was just for a simple stern talking about mission protocols. 
“Y/N, I know that you’re a fantastic agent and even better friend, but when we’re on missions we need that agent. You can’t let your feelings and outside life get in the way of our objective.” Sharon said in a firm voice. Y/N dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her face tiredly.
“I know, Sharon, I’m sorry, Wanda could’ve probably gotten herself out but I just let my instincts act too fast and ran back in without another thought.” She groaned. “Plus, I just caused more damage than anything else. It won’t happen again, I promise.” Wanda and Sharon nodded in understanding just as the Asshole Supreme walked into the kitchen.
“You talking ‘bout how Y/N fucked up the mission yesterday?” Sergeant Barnes grunted. While Sharon and Wanda gasped in shock, Y/N’s eyes were trained at the plate on the table in front of her, not daring to make a sound. She muttered out a sorry and got up to put her dish in the sink. As long as he was here, he was going to make her life a living hell, and as much as she wanted to lash out, it would be cause for her dismissal from the team. While her old, solitary life was what she had once dreamed of, Y/N now saw her future among these people, this family, somewhere she finally felt a part of despite Barnes’ horrid behaviour. “Sorry?” He scoffed, “Sorry doesn’t make up for the fact that I had to run back in for you. Sorry doesn’t make up for the extreme risks we all pull to save your ass out in the field.”
“Bucky, stop.” Sharon yelled.
But he ignored her words and sauntered over to Y/N with a knowing smirk, leaning down to meet her level. His warm breath hit her face and she could stare into his deep eyes, swirling like a raging storm of blues and greys. “You shouldn’t even be out there, L/N. I mean, you haven’t had training in years, it’s not like you were anything special either. Just another agent, hoping to get to work in the big leagues.”
“Shut up.” Y/N whispered meekly. Tears were just barely being held in, her chest feeling empty and hollow with anger and guilt. Is this what it felt like to want to kill someone with so much vengeance? 
“Where were you when Thanos came? Where were you, L/N? We needed all the help we could get, but there you are, in fucking Hawaii, with you little fucking margaritas on the fucking beach-”
“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. The room went dead silent with her voice. None of the team had seen Y/N look so angry, so sad, so vulnerable, at one time. It was easy for her to hide her emotions and Wanda refrained from trying to toy with her mind, but shame was overwhelming the girl by the second and Sergeant Barnes was right, as much as she didn’t want to say it. She was a coward, thinking she could run away from the “hero life” so easily. They’d caught her, and Barnes was making her face that truth right now. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I know, that I was absolutely scared shitless of returning here, facing all of you after what you endured for so long?” 
Y/N took a deep breath, laughing mirthlessly as tears ran hot down her cheeks. “I’m sorry that I came back, I really am, but I’m trying my damn best to make up for what I did. Being scared is no excuse for why I ran away, I was fucking terrified of having one more thing to lose. My family is dead, SHIELD fell, and I had no one to lean on so I ran as far as I fucking could. But I’m back now, I’m ready to serve up to what I left behind, and you better fucking deal with it because this,” she jabbed a finger into his broad chest, “is not fucking it. I’m not going to live with your shitty behaviour anymore, Barnes.”
He, Wanda, and Sharon all watched as she slammed the plate into the sink, storming out of the room. They could hear her door slam shut, and the two women glared at Bucky.
“What the hell is your problem, Barnes” Wanda hissed in a scarily low voice. Fuck. He knew he’d messed up then, gone farther than he ever dared to with insulting Y/N, and both of the women were severely overprotective of the new Avenger. 
Sharon walked up to Bucky with large strides, delivering a slap to the side of his head. Yeah, he definitely deserved that. It was dead silent in the kitchen, the tension still high strung from the fight seconds before. “You better go apologize, Barnes, I swear to God this has gotten far too out of hand. You two have a mission tomorrow, estimated a month, and wheels are up at 2300 hours. I need you two to go get the intel quietly and undetected and we can’t have both of you arguing the whole damn time, so you better fix things by then.”
The blonde agent walked away, Wanda trailing behind her, but not without the middle finger from both of them. A mission? Tomorrow? With Y/N? This was going to be horrible. Bucky ran a hand over his face and trudged off to his room. 
It was going to be a long month.
-
Y/N stared out of the window as they flew over the clouds above the Mediteranean Sea. Eleven in the morning in Italy gave a clear view of the skies, light blue as far as she could see. They were ready to start their descent into Azzano and the woman glanced to the man beside her, his stormy blue eyes glaring in any direction but hers. The sergeant had avoided her all he could up until they boarded the jet, and even then he only spoke to her when necessary. “Hey, Barnes, we’re starting to descend, go get ready.”
The brunette looked over to Y/N and grunted in response. Oh well, it was better than him yelling at her. His little outburst in the kitchen had her pissed at him more than ever, but the words thrown around still rung true in her head. But now wasn’t the time to think about that.
She paid careful attention to where she was supposed to land, a shaded facility almost five miles south of where they had to get the intel from an old, but rebuilt HYDRA base. The same base where James Buchanan Barnes was once held captive, experimented on and tortured until Steve Rogers came to save him. Y/N didn’t care much for Barnes usually, but she also didn’t know how he’d react to being in a location with such horrible memories attached to it. They had both been at the mission briefing the day before of course, he knew what it entailed and he seemed unfazed, and he was always good at hiding his emotions. As the jet touched down finally, the agent thought back. Well, sometimes he was good at hiding his emotions.
Making sure her comm fit snugly in her ear, Y/N unbuckled herself from the seat, heading back towards the wall of weaponry they kept in the back of the jet. Barnes was already there dressed in hs black kevlar tactical suit, hugging his body nicely and vibranium arm on display. When he was around her he tried to hide it, and she saw him joking around and being comfortable in other’s presence with it out, wondering what made her so different. She personally found it fascinating, the beauty of the gold and black metal with the incredible Wakandan technology, but she respected his privacy and tried to not think too much about it. 
Y/N threw a vest on over her own navy blue tac suit, tightening her combat boots before she fully zipped up. Were they finally ready?
Three guns perched in holsters by her waist.
Two taps to her earpiece and Barnes’ breathing in her ear.
One mutual nod with the sergeant himself, and they were off, slowly making their way to grab the intel, not a trace to be left behind. 
-
Getting stuck in the trunk of a car was not in the plan. It definitely wasn’t. Bucky remembered every single inch and cranny of that meticulously planned out schedule, every move, every kill they had to make, but not once was it mentioned that Y/N was to get stuck in Baron Zemo’s car without any weapons on her.
“L/N, what the hell do you mean you’re in the back of Zemo’s car.” He seethed, already searching frantically around the large remains of the building for her. It had gone smoothly, she was just supposed to quickly check inside his car as he searched the base. It’ll be so much quicker if I do it, L/N, is what he had said, but now he regretted it. Like the incompetent fool she was, she was spotted and ended up shooting out half of Zemo’s goonies before dropping all her weapons to the ground and running when she ran out of ammunition.
“There may have been a slight misunderstanding,” Y/N whispered into her comm, “but nothing we can’t fix! Just come find me, Barnes, and all will be well.”
She could hear his angry curses and jostling, which she assumed he was running to come find her. It wasn’t entirely Y/N’s fault she had run out of ammo. Some of it must have fallen from her pockets during the shootout and when she saw the car she thought it’d be the perfect place to hide. Until she realized that no one else was at the partially burned down HYDRA base besides Baron Zemo, the person who Sharon had told her to avoid at all costs, and she was in his damn car. Practically her death note.
“If you had just listened to me you wouldn’t have been caught!” Bucky furiously whispered through the comms. 
Y/N rolled her eyes, though he couldn’t even see her, and groaned. “I did listen to you, Barnes, I checked the damn car, but we weren’t expecting his guards to find me so I killed them and hid. Is that actually so bad?” 
“Yes it is!’ He explained. “Give me your coordinates.” She checked the small watch on her wrist, pushing a button on the side that gave a small holographic image of the time and her coordinates on a world wide map. Reciting them for him, Bucky followed, continuing to berate her as he did so. “And you’re right, L/N, I asked you to check the car, not fucking jump inside it!”
This time Bucky could envision her rolling her eyes as she groaned even louder in very Y/N L/N fashion. “Would you rather I be dead?” She asked. It had been a few seconds, but she still received no response. “Barnes?” Crackling. “Sergeant?” Absolute nothingness. “Sarge?”
The trunk of the car opened as the woman let out a squeak, the broad frame of James Barnes hovering above her, some dirt smudged around the annoyed expression on his face. “Don’t call me that.” He grumbled.
He reached his hand towards her, grasping her own tightly before pulling her to a sitting position. “Why, you had all the ladies calling you that back in the day?” She mimicked a much higher tone, nearly resembling Snow White if the princess were high on drugs and had a Brooklyn accent. “Hey, Sarge, we goin’ dancing? Sarge, you goin’ to give me some sweet lovin’ tonight? Oh, how I’d just love for you to shove your fat, ugly head up your a-”
A loud beeping from his wristwatch cut her off. With a glare, the man let go of Y/N’s hand, checking to see what the problem was. A small red tracker on the map moved, and both of them knew they were in deep shit. “Crap, Zemo’s coming this way. That’s one of the trackers I set up on the ground and we gotta go quick.”
Faint whistling from Baron Zemo made both of them panic as Bucky tackled her back down and quickly shut the door behind him. Footsteps were approaching, the whistling getting louder and a door opening let the two Avengers know that they couldn’t get out anytime soon. Y/N could feel Bucky’s racing heart against her chest, hers beating just as fast. He turned to face her, a lot closer than both of them expected, lips dangerously close and noses nudging against each other. Ther breaths mixed together, the hot air of the car doing nothing to help her current close quarters with the man. 
“Can you bust us out of here?” She whispered hurriedly, rather uncomfortable with the present situation.
“We’ll die if we leave now. He’s much more prepared than we thought and with half his men down he knows something is up. Zemo wasn’t even supposed to know we were here so we’re far too unprepared and you lost your damn weapons. There’s no way we can go out so we’re going to stick in here until he gets out.”
Truth be told, Bucky was terrified and had no clue what to do next. Being stuck in a small confined space with Y/N had to be his worst nightmare, especially after he didn’t apologize for his shitty behavior last night. And the night before. 
And the several months before that.
From his view Y/N seemed to be uncomfortable and as the car started moving, she wiggled around, struggling to get as far away from Bucky as she could. He too was extremely uncomfortable, but as her wriggling continued, his already tight fitting pants seemed to get even impossible tighter as she practically grinded on him. 
“Would you stop squirming around?” Y/N shot him what would’ve been a questioning glance if not for the pitch blackness of the trunk, and heard his loud sigh, warm breath fanning across her face. “I’m sorry, I’m having a situation, uh, down there and your wiggling isn’t helping it too much.”
Her face heated up, not knowing what to feel after he said that. Was he… flustered? Y/N had never seen Bucky Barnes anything less than grumpy or professional before.
When she said nothing, he assumed the worst and thought she saw him as a disgusting and creepy person. Before that moment he’d never had any particular care about how Y/N felt, but he knew that there were still a lot of perverts, if not more perverts than back in his day. With his four little sisters always getting catcalled and the crude men who thought women were their property, Bucky knew it was definitely terrifying to be assaulted or any situation such as this. 
There wasn’t much he could do, but he shifted so they weren’t lying down hip bone to hip bone. “Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I don’t want you to think I’m a pervert or anything, it’s just been a while since I, well, y’know…”
“I understand, Barnes, but thank you for apologizing.” Y/N said carefully. It was weird to hear the now shy and surprisingly considerate sergeant apologize to her, but she had to admit that her respect for him had gone up. 
He cleared his throat in return, trying to turn in any other direction besides hers as they listened to the tires of the car bumping along the road, heart wildly thumping. 
It was quiet. Far more quiet than it had ever been when either of them were in the same room. As Y/N stared down at Bucky’s head, almost resting on her stomach, she saw the man she’d read about in middle school. For a moment she was able to look past the last few months of fighting and hatred, and see the noble sergeant she’d admired for so long. 
“You can rest your head if you want to, I knew keeping it up like that must be hurting your neck. I promise I’m okay with it.” She reassured him. With a small hesitation, Barnes submitted to his screaming neck muscles and laid his head on her stomach, the vest providing cushion. A few more seconds of silence and gathering courage, and she finally asked him the question she had been wondering since her first day at the compound. “Why do you hate me?”
I’m jealous, he wanted to say, but he wasn’t brave enough to say it. With a small sigh, he managed to get out, “I don’t.”
“Then why are you so cold to me all the time?” Emotions that were borrowed so deep inside Y/N’s chest seemed to come barreling out, seeping into every question that she asked. “Am I really that horrible an agent? Do you not think I’m trying my best? I know I made a mistake, I wasn’t there when you all needed me, but I’m trying so, so damn hard to make up for it. I swear on my life, and every one that comes after it, that I’m-”
“It’s not you, it’s me, God damn it!” Bucky exclaimed angrily. Both of their blood ran cold in fear that Zemo might have heard them, but the radio continued to drone on in the background, nothing seeming to have changed. He took a deep sigh and tried how to best explain it to her. Even though he’d probably never have Y/N’s forgiveness for insulting her so plainly and hurting her so much, he felt as though she deserved as much as his reasoning as to why he “disliked” her so much. It was difficult for him to say, having to also put his pride away for once to just admit it. “I’m jealous of you, Y/N. You got the sweet life for a while, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. When you look at us who remain, not a single one of us was planning to be an Avenger. You were getting the dream home, the kids, the family that I’ve wanted since I was a boy back in Brooklyn, and all you had to do to get it was run away. It was so simple.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, not at all expecting that. “It wasn’t all too much ‘sweet life’, you know? It was my dream when I was younger, I thought being an agent was temporary and then I’d move into a big, old house with a loving spouse and have millions of little carbon copies of myself to occupy my days. But the truth about what we do is that we can only stay away from it for so long, Barnes. With people like us,” she squeezed her eyes shut, letting the final tears roll down her cheeks, “there’s no running away from the hero's life. It's just who we are. We’ve already done too much to change that part of our lives.” 
Y/N felt him nod through the fabric on her skin, sniffles letting her know that he was crying too. They were connected. All the shouting, all the yelling, the pain, the battles, the fore, the blood, the years of torture, all led to this moment. This historic moment in Y/N and Bucky’s relationship where they both waved white flags, wet faces and hearts filled with sorrow for the life they never had. 
“I’m so sorry for the way I dealt with my anger and jealousy, Y/N.” Bucky croaked. 
“I used to idolize you when I was a kid.” Y/N recalled with a faint smile on her face. “In the eighth grade I wrote a history paper on you, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, American hero and inspiration to all. And you know, I always kinda had a crush on you. Wondered what it would be like if you were still alive, if you would’ve gone home after the war, if you would’ve had a family. No matter what wild thoughts ran through my head, though, you were always my hero.” Bucky took her confession in shock, pure amazement and surprise coursing through his body. Maybe a little bit of sadness, longing for that old life, maybe a bit of bashfulness of her having a crush on his as a schoolgirl. “And then I met you and you were this grumpy, irritable old man who seemed to despise me as soon as I walked in the door. Definitely not what I had expected.” He opened his mouth, ready to apologize again, when her next words cut him off. “I want to start over, don’t you?”
How was she so calming? Her words were exactly what he needed to hear and didn’t need to at the same time. Her voice brought back all the old memories of running around New York with Steve as a kid, reminding him of his wise ma in a way. “There’s nothing I’d like more than that, Y/N.”
Y/N smiled to herself, looking towards the top of the car. “Perfect.”
And with the twinkle in her eye and his head resting on her stomach with a small grin, it really was.
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johnkrrasinski · 4 years
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Midnight, I’m Not Leaving
full masterlist
Pairings: Biker!Bucky Barnes x female!reader (AU)
Word count: 1,995
Warning: fluff!!!! just a lot of feelings tbh.
Summary: you had your whole life planned out; work hard, move to new york and pursue your dreams... but what happens when a coquettish biker gang leader crossed your path and relentlessly asked you for a date?
a/n: this one’s written for @captain-rogers-beard​‘s “Flex Your Writing Muscles” challenge. i was inspired by the prompt “a late night bike ride under the stars” and i’ve been actually thinking of writing about biker!bucky for awhile!! so yeah, it was a perfect coincidence. please leave a like & comment! enjoy!
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The crisp breeze felt piercing on your skin, your hair was blowing through all over your face barricading your sight, the soft hum of the engine that you had grown fond of reverberated in your ears, like midnight jazz cruising through the streets of Sunset Boulevard.
Bucky’s sturdy material of leather felt nice against your palm as you inhaled his musky scent, the smell soothed your nerves. But again, Bucky Barnes always soothed your nerves.
You had been dating the town’s most infamous bad boy slash biker gang leader, Bucky Barnes for over two months now. You were a persevering small-town girl who valued your independence and was determined to get out of this mundane place.
You wanted to migrate to the big city, preferably the Empire State, where you can be whoever you want to be, and there’s a seat for you and your big ambitions on the dining table. Not like this small-minded, incommodious small town where everyone seems to have a thing of sticking their noses in places they don’t belong and the most “noble” job you can have is being a waitress.
You didn’t have any desire in fulfilling this small town’s dreams for you by being a waitress but you had to fill in your bank account if you really wanted to leave and run to the big city. So you took a part-time job at a local bakery store, owned by Mrs. Potts, called “Potts’ Boulangerie,” where you get paid quite generously for someone who only works as a part-time waitress.
Life in Islesbury was anything but exciting and extraordinary during most days.
But all that changed since, a rainy afternoon, when the fearsome, James Buchanan Barnes, the leader of the notorious biker gang, “The Howling Commandos.” The bell above the door dinged as Bucky with his two most trusted men, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson tried to fit their massive figures into the moderate-sized door that would fit the average people.
Bucky set his foot first as Sam then Steve trailed along. They were soaked with the droplets of rain that were clouding over the tranquility of Iselsbury but they didn’t seem to mind one bit. There was only you at that moment since Wanda wasn’t feeling too well so she worked only for half-day. The shop was a little slow too since it was raining and most people preferred to stay inside, and Wednesdays aren’t exactly the most casual day to stop by at the bakery store.
To say you weren’t a tad intimidated by the sight of these menacing men would be a deceit. You had heard the rumours, the small crimes that they did, the various members that had gone in and out prison, and the bars that they owned and ruled over. But you put on your professional facade anyway, and you did your job.
They immediately sat at the last table in the corner, where Bucky leaned against the window, whilst Sam and Steve sat next to each other at the opposite of his direction. You heard one of them say, “damn, it’s really coming down.”
You carefully walked over to them with your notepad and pencil, and you raise your voice meekly, “can I get you guys anything?” Bucky instantly turned his head and took a good look at you, shamelessly eyed you up and down. “Well, hello there, gorgeous.” Bucky winked.
You were taken aback by his blunt move. The fuck did he just call you? You weren’t an escort who was prying on your next potential client and on your way to seduce him. “Excuse me?” All the civility in you dissolved, your offence was on palpable.
“Whoa, what’s the matter, doll face?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m here to take your order, not to escort you.”
“Calm down, doll. I ain’t saying that at all. I’m just stating the obvious.”
“Well, you better keep your mouth to yourself because I don’t like those nicknames and if you’re not going to make an order, then I suggest you leave.”
“Well, this is a public place, ain’t it? Anyone can be here whenever they want as long as the sign on the door says open.”
He was right. You shouldn’t be rude to a customer, but again, you weren’t going to let him or anyone walk over you. But you tried to regain your composure and tried to act decently again, “fine, what would you like to order, sir?”
“Sir… I like that. I’ll take one cup of espresso, please, darling.” He winked at you and grinned a Cheshire cat smile. “Be cool, he’s a customer. Be cool, he’s a customer. Be cool, he’s a customer.” You reminded yourself. “Just serve his orders and you won’t have to deal with him ever again… At least for today.”
“Alright. What about you?” You directed your attention to Steve and Sam.
“Americano, please.” You noted down Sam’s order. “And you?” You moved to Steve. “Just black ma’am. Thank you.” You noted that down also.
“I’ll be right back with your orders.” You immediately walked away and went back to the kitchen where you were going to make their coffees. Only after a few steps away from them, you heard the faint, yet bold voice of Bucky. “Feisty... Think I like this one.”
-
Since that fortunate day, Bucky never stopped bothering you, even though you persisted on rejecting him, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept on visiting you at the bakery store, annoying you whilst you were busy taking customers’ orders or helping Wanda out in the kitchen. He even went as far as insolently knocking on your door at night whilst you were having a movie night with your parents in the living room.
“What the hell? What are you doing here?!” You spoke in a hushed tone, but you glared at him. How the fuck did Bucky find your resident?
“Wanted to see you, doll. Thought you’d give me a different answer if I had visited you at your place rather than the shop.” He leaned into the frame of the door. Meanwhile, your mother in the background was not making the situation any easier, “who is that, honey?”
“Nobody…”
“What? Is it a false address?”
“Yeah…”
Amidst the turmoil of trying to get rid of Bucky and convincing your mother, you didn’t notice that Bucky was audaciously eyeing you up and down for you were clad in nothing but a white tank top and pyjama shorts with a thin cardigan cloaking you as an outer.
“Never seen you in something so scanty before, you look better like this.” There is that presumptuous smirk again.
You realized he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon for the persistent douche he was, so you shut the door behind you and stepped outside to your porch. “What the hell? You can not just come into my house uninvited! And most importantly, how did you even know where I live?!”
“I have eyes in the sky and ears all over town.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes.
“If you want me to leave, you gotta say yes to a date. Just one date, doll.”
“No.” You resolutely gritted.
“Fine, then I’ll just stand here all night, maybe even flaunt my singing skill and wake the entire neighbourhood, until you say yes.” He started singing a song that you didn’t know, like a drunken teenage boy at a bar. He didn’t even hesitate in turning up his volume and it immediately made you panic.
“Shh! Okay, fine. I’ll go on a date with you. Just please, stop causing a scene. My parents will call the cops on you if they saw you here.”
“Of course, still the uptight rich people, I see.”
“You gotta leave. Now.” You started pushing him, even though he barely moved an inch for he was stronger and bigger than you.
“7 PM, tomorrow. I’ll pick you up on my bike.”
“Okay, go!” You shoved him mildly to get him off your veranda.
He yielded then began moving to where he parked. He hopped on his bike and revived the engine as took one last glance at you, “can’t wait to see you all dressed up for me, doll.” He winked and geared on the asphalt road.
And the rest was history.
And now, here you were, two months later, sitting on the back of his bike, with your chest pressed against his broad back, as he cruised through the open road under the glow of the moon.
You hugged Bucky tighter as he sped up. The feel of his warmth against you relinquished all the burden and the mundanity of the small-town life were omitted.
“Where are we going?” You gritted.
“You’ll see. If I tell you now, it ain’t going to be a surprise.” His tone detonated, trying to overpower the din of the wind.
Typical Bucky. Even after you were his for two months, he was still coming up with inventive ways to impress you. It’s the little things and modest ways he did that pulled you into him like a magnet. The sugarcoated words he effortlessly spoke, the kisses his ingenious lips left on you and the iniquitous way he touched you when you were making passionate love… It captivated you like a firework show.
Bucky took you that night to a secluded hill, in the outskirts of town where there were barely any people passing by. You had snuck out earlier, cautiously not to jolt your parents up as Bucky noiselessly waited for you outside. You felt like recalcitrant teenagers recklessly in love. And maybe you were at that moment.
“Let’s go on a ride tonight, doll. I’ll be here by midnight. Be ready, princess.” He urged you on the phone earlier.
The midnight was besieged by stillness and nothing but the sonances of crickets. Bucky lifted the seat of his bike and retrieved the plaid picnic blanket from inside.
He placed it on the lawn and he laid down with you in his arms. You placed your head on his chest as you curled up to him and fitted your entire height in the blanket.
“Look at those stars…” Bucky pointed at the sprinkled constellation adorning the royal blue sky. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, they are.” You paused. For a moment there was only the sound of you and Bucky’s slow breathing and steady heartbeat humming in your ear. Then you filled in the silence with the sentimentality of your childhood your mind recalled. It’s really difficult not to open up when you are this close to him.
“When I was a little girl, I used to pretend that those stars would follow me wherever I go like they were my little guardian angels. And whenever I’m sad or afraid, I’d look outside my window and feel safe.”
“You still do that?” He breathed into your hair as he played with some of the strands. He tenderly caressed the back of your head with his indurated fingers that you had memorized every inch of.
“Of course not.” You slightly chuckled in disbelief at his question.
“Good, cause as long as you got me, you don’t ever have to feel sad or afraid again, doll.”
“Is that a promise?”
“It’s an oath. And I’ve got a lifetime to prove my words to you.”
You thanked your lucky stars that night, as they watched over you and Bucky like the angels taking over the form of flickering stellar in the sky. You always thought you knew where your future was heading and had your plans laid out immaculately in front of you until Bucky came along like a whirlwind sweeping away all your scribbled notes and took your hand to walk through every second with him.
And for the first time in forever, you weren’t rushing to be in another place or calculating your next move. For the first time, you think you were content enough to stay.
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Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books
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That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.
Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.
At least, he's not a beast all the time.
As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.
— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan
Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?
— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.
The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer
Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.
— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.
Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin
Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.
— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.
The Roommate by Rosie Danan
The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.
After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...
Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.
— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.
The Marriage Game by Sara Desai
After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...
As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.
As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.
— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.
Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev
— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?
Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?
The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting
Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.
Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.
— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.
A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer
Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.
Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.
Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.
— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.
QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON
The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott
What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?
Trouble—and lots of it.
— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.
Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott
After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.
Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.
Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.
Betray her when it’s time.
All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.
He’s not allowed to fall for her.
She could never entrust him with a crown.
But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.
— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.
LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON
Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian
Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.
For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.
Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.
For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.
— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.
Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller
When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?
— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.
The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller
Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:
1) Woo the Shadow King.
2) Marry him.
3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.
No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.
But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?
— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.
The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne
Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?
But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.
— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.
To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?
— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.
ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING
Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory
Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.
Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?
— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.
The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa
A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...
— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 
Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher
State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.
Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Unless you put a ring on it.
— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.
Meet Cute by Helena Hunting
Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?
— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.
If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane
If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...
— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.
BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.
But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.
— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.
Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa
After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?
— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.
Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren
During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.
Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.
— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.
I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella
Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?
It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?
But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?
— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.
The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory
Maddie and Theo have two things in common:
1. Alexa is their best friend
2. They hate each other
After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?
But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.
— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.
WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED
Beach Read by Emily Henry
Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.
They're polar opposites.
In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.
Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.
— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.
HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME
Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade
Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?
— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.
RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY
The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez
Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.
— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.
Well Met by Jen DeLuca
Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?
The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?
This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.
— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.
Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting
Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.
— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.
Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane
You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?
— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.
Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher
Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.
Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.
Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.
— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!
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What if in earlier seasons, Crowley was written as an amiable ally for the boys, rather than them disliking him. Imagine Crowley being established as “not as bad as other demons” in the Winchester’s eyes, as a semi-reluctant ally who – yeah, on occasion, puts his own interests first, but never directly threatens and even occasionally helps the boys. He’s still snarky, and he can still be an arse. But the boys know that as long as they don’t cross him, Crowley won’t mess with them. From Crowley’s end, that’s because keeping good relations with the infamous Winchester brothers is to his benefit. But then, they start to grow on him. And maybe he’s a little more lenient with the flannelled nightmares than he should be, a little indulgent, rolls his eyes and does a few favors for them. Which only further encourages the Winchesters, and later a less willing Castiel, to view him as a frenemy.
The rest of the early seasons is the same, except now, moving into season 6, the boys are willingly working with Crowley and Cas. They don’t like the idea of opening up Purgatory, but they understand that Hell and Heaven really do need to be taken in hand – and who else are they going to trust to do that? As things start to look really dark throughout that season, the boys start pushing back, start testing their relationship with both angel and demon, and Cas still betrays all of them and takes the souls for himself. And now there’s season 7, with Crowley working with the boys to stop Cas – Dean wanting to save him from himself, Sam and Crowley unhappily planning to kill the angel – Sam because he doesn’t think Cas can be saved, and Crowley because he wants his share of the Purgatory power. Unleash the Leviathans, and now we’ve got the King of Hell working closely and willingly with the boys to stop this new threat. Demons at their disposal, even. Which doesn’t put Crowley in a very good position in Hell, but he pushes on because it’s this or let the Leviathans eat the world. The Winchesters plus Crowley and a now restored Castiel manage to defeat the Leviathans, just as the demons rise up and dethrone Crowley. Hell is a free-for-all, and demons are loose in the world.
Then have all of season 8 be about demon in-fighting and the human casualties along the way. The boys work to get Crowley back on the throne, so he can restore some order. But that also means he’s temporarily dependent on them, in hiding with them from his former minions. Leads them to the Men of Letters legacy, which in turn leads to the bunker. Bring the British Men of Letters back in seasons earlier, alerted to the awakening of one of their old establishments in the States. Throw Abaddon into the mix, providing a competitor for Crowley laying claim to the throne, which would make him more susceptible to the help offered by the Winchesters, and unfortunately to the supposed support of the BMoL as well. By now, Crowley’s an unofficial member of Team Free Will, the boys well aware he chose saving the world (and them) over giving his full attention to Hell, leading to all this. There’s the sense that the four of them – plus Kevin and Charlie, at this point – are all in it together. Maybe even Meg is still around, maybe she’s trying to lead one of the demonic factions, and there is this whole I-care-about-you-but-we’re-on-opposite-sides between her and Cas. Crowley has softened, the same way Cas softened over time with exposure to humanity and the Winchesters.
Of course the tablets and Kevin came into play with the Leviathans. The BMoL reveal they have the demon tablet, and suggest Kevin might be able to find something on it to control demonkind and restore Hell. Big dramatic reveal to the Winchesters only, the BMoL admit that there is a means of closing the Gates of Hell permanently on the tablet – learned from a previous prophet whom, ahem, did not survive their duty – and now the Winchesters are torn between sparing the world from demons and betraying Crowley. Crowley, who is counting on them to help him get his throne back. Crowley who has begrudgingly and then more willingly worked cases with them while they’ve tried to find an answer to all of this. Crowley who led them to the MoL and the bunker in the first place. Who isn’t as bad as the rest of his kind, who Dean likes to go for a drink with and might even consider a friend. And just as the Winchesters decide they can find another way to close the Gates, Kevin discovers the necessary spell, and the BMoLs take advantage that there is a demon close at hand, and snatch Crowley to perform the demon trials.
And by the time the Winchesters race to his rescue – torn, because ending the trial means not closing the Gates, but damn it, he’s had their backs, so they’re going to have his – Crowley is in the last hour of the cure. Tells them to let it happen, let the trial be complete, the Gates slammed shut. His own soul restored. But there’s that whole thing with Metatron and Cas and the angels going on, so of course this is the moment the angels are cast out of Heaven. And Abaddon bursts in, maybe Meg comes to challenge her. And in all the chaos, the cure is never completed, time’s up, too late. The boys defeat the BMoLs, rescue Crowley, escape. Cas is lost somewhere in the world, human after what happened in Heaven.
Season 9 would be almost completely the same – Crowley’s blood addiction, searching for the Mark and the Blade, Abaddon, the angels, all of it – except, the Winchesters actually sympathize with Crowley. They express concern, ask after him, say maybe having regained something of his soul is a good thing. And Crowley is torn, because he can now really feel that affection he has for the boys, and he might very well have the option of a place among them, but also he knows Hell needs a ruler to keep demonkind in line, and he still likes power. The boys help him overthrow Abaddon, help him get clean of his blood addiction. Maybe there’s a scene where Crowley and Meg compare notes – he who went through the cure, and she who cares for an angel, neither of whom really fit with demonkind anymore. And by the time the season reaches the later episodes, with Crowley back on the throne and the boys working cases while trying to figure out what to do about Metatron, Crowley is an acknowledged, secret extension of Team Free Will. Makes changes to Hell, keeps demonkind under tight control, helps here and there on cases.
All of this, all of this headcanon, just to get to the point where the boys are always making side comments to Crowley about, you know, how if he wanted to give up Hell and join the three of them full time, he’d be welcome. Come on, just work one more case with us. Just this one about hellhounds. Just that one with vampires. Just one more, one more, one more. And Crowley acquiesces more than he knows he should. Cares about the boys and Cas more than he knows he should, hates Hell and demons more than he knows he should.
So that by the time the Mark takes Dean and turns him into a demon, it’s not only Sam and Cas that are hurt by it. It’s Crowley, too. Crowley who sees Dean turning into something truly evil, something worse than Crowley himself is now. And he agrees with Sam and Cas that he’ll take demon!Dean under his wing as his second-in-command in Hell until they find a cure, a cure for the Mark as much as for being a demon. Season 10 is all about Cas (who’s grace is fading) and Sam working to find a cure while working cases, and Crowley trying to keep Dean occupied with hunting down rebel demons and the like. He even sends the Knight of Hell after angels, to capture more grace for the fading Castiel. Throw Rowena – as Fergus’ ex-wife – in there, attempting to convince Crowley to share his throne with her, causing mischief. He would feel this deep sense of loneliness – demon!Dean isn’t the companion he was before the Mark, Rowena only wants power for herself ultimately, demonkind hates and is in open rebellion against him – and Crowley is beginning to admit to himself that he just doesn’t have this in him anymore, to be the kind of monster it takes to rule Hell. Maybe Dean even tries to take the throne from him, with Rowena’s help, and the acceptance by the demons of this alternative ruler is everything Crowley needs to finally break from old loyalties and the desire to rule, from demonkind entirely.
Realizing the situation is entirely out of control, Crowley, Cas and Sam work to capture Dean. They convince Rowena, who has now taken the throne of Hell for herself, to remove the Mark, thus removing a threat to her reign. Crowley makes an oath that if she will do this, he will never seek to retake the throne. An enraged demon!Dean is forced through the demon trials, in which he says the most horrible and hurtful things to Sam and Cas. And to Crowley, cuttingly demanding to know why the former king will put Dean through this, restore the hunter’s humanity, but not his own. Crowley doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t have an answer because he realizes that, once, he would have said it was important he hold Hell, or that he wanted the power that came with being a demon, or that he was scared of facing what he’s done as a demon. In light of everything that has happened – the complete rejection by demonkind and the loss of Hell, the revulsion he feels after the aborted cure and Dean’s own time as a demon, and knowing he has a place here on Team Free Will – Crowley realizes he no longer has a reason not to complete the cure.
And in the last hour of the cure, with Dean almost entirely restored to himself, the hunter understands the demon better than ever before. Tells him, one of these days, it’s going to be Crowley in this chair, the cure coursing through him, the three of them gathered around him, supportive. And Crowley knows he’s right. It’s no longer a question of if – only when.
Once they’ve completed the demon cure, the boys set about removing the Mark, with Rowena’s help. And removing the Mark unleashes the Darkness in the world. In season 11, the Darkness should have been something much more insidious, and dangerous. A force which slithers into people, bolsters the innate darkness that is in everyone, turning people into their worst selves. And it controls demons utterly. They are mostly formed of the Darkness, after all.
And for Crowley and the cure, “when” is now. It is that, or fear turning on the people who used to teasingly ensnare him in “just one more case,” who would embrace him as one of them if only he’d allow it. And now, he’s finally ready for that.
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sineala · 4 years
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Captain America Corps
[This is a repost from my Patreon.] An extra review for everyone this month! I wasn't actually planning to write a review of Captain America Corps, but, then, I wasn't planning to love it as much as I did, either. Surprise! This has been the Book Club selection on the 616 Steve/Tony Discord server for the entirety of September, and it took me all month to get around to reading it, and when I finished reading it on Marvel Unlimited I immediately ran to the internet and ordered myself a copy of the trade paperback, because I needed one of my very own to cuddle. This review contains spoilers for the entirety of the series, so leave now if you don't want to know them. (It also contains a few pictures of elements that you may wish to avoid if you are sensitive to body horror in fiction.)
Captain America Corps is a five-issue miniseries written by Roger Stern, whom you may remember from such classics as his Avengers run featuring the Under Siege arc and his short but extremely memorable Cap run with John Byrne. The art here is by Phillipe Briones, who I don't think I've seen in any other book, but it's nice enough, I suppose. Anyway, it was published in 2011 and is also set then (well, sort of) -- so Bucky is still Captain America (though not for much longer) and Steve is Commander Rogers. (It is still available in trade paperback but it is technically out of print, so you should act now if you want a paper copy.) The best way I can describe my feelings about this book is thus: you know how David Michelinie's 1979 Avengers novel I read and reviewed a few months ago, The Man Who Stole Tomorrow, had an amazing premise -- Kang the Conqueror freezes Steve again and takes him to the future and the Avengers have to go time-traveling to get him back -- but it completely flubbed the actual execution of said premise? Well, Captain America Corps is a lot like that, but it absolutely, perfectly nails it. The premise isn't exactly the same, but it is definitely Peak Comics in the best zany madcap way, and the more you know about canon, the more your familiarity will be rewarded. Captain America is being kidnapped. But not just one Captain America -- Captains America across the multiverse are being stolen, and history is changing around their disappearances. A cosmic entity by the name of Tath Ki has made it his business to right these wrongs, and so to do this he kidnaps some more Captains America of his own. He ends up with a team of five: the Captain America of 1941 (Steve Rogers), USAgent (John Walker, from a small but unspecified number of years prior to 2011), the Captain America of 2011 (Bucky Barnes), American Dream (Shannon Carter, from the MC2 universe), and Commander A (Kiyoshi Morales, from several centuries in the future). So you can see already that this is going to be fun. All the Caps, in my opinion, are very well-characterized -- Steve is painfully earnest and a little inexperienced; Bucky is cynical, jaded, and he kind of can't believe that 40s Steve is looking up to him, which is really sweet; and John Walker is, of course, a complete asshole. I wanted to punch him in his stupid face multiple times, so clearly his characterization is perfect. I can't speak to Shannon's characterization because I've never read MC2, and Kiyoshi is new as of this book, but he is also excellent. So, obviously, because this is a Captain America book, there is a terrible dystopian future for them to fight -- and to show them what's at stake, Tath Ki drops them right in the middle of Dystopian Times Square, and they all get rounded up and imprisoned, whereupon they promptly stage a prison break for the various superheroes (Sam Wilson, Luke Cage, Peter Parker...) that they meet, before Tath Ki brings them back to his home base talk about it, now that he's convinced them that this is a future they have to stop.
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(The law enforcement of the dystopian future includes several Americops and the Ameridroid. Remember those guys from the Cap comics? I sure do! Whee!) Tath Ki explains the situation here on this Earth, because obviously there has been some divergence. And the divergence point is this: the Avengers never found Captain America in the ice in Avengers #4. Two new women -- Broad-Stripe and Bright Star (why, yes, those are deeply unsubtle code names) -- ended up on the team instead, but, well... the Avengers just didn't work without Steve, and right when they ought to have founded the Kooky Quartet in Avengers #16, they disbanded instead. All because they'd never met Captain America. Thor went back to Asgard. Hank ended up in a psych ward. Tony died during heart surgery. (Don't worry, I'm coming back to this point later. So is the comic.) So the Caps split up to go see what they can find out about the remaining Avengers. Jan is hanging out with Sue Storm but has been warned about Kiyoshi and Shannon by the villain, and she kicks them out. Steve and Bucky break Hank out of the psych ward. And Tath Ki takes John Walker to Tony's tomb... to find that Tony's brain is missing from his body. Uh-oh. That's never a good sign.
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And, oh, yes, Broad-Stripe and Bright Star are the villains of this series. And, what's more, Broad-Stripe is actually Superia, whom you will remember from the infamously terrible Cap arc The Superia Stratagem. It was really bad. It was really, really bad. But reading this has now retroactively made reading that worth it. Anyway, they're the ones who have been kidnapping all the Caps, and the Cap Corps here teams up with the local resistance force (yes, of course there's a resistance) to fight their way to the villains' headquarters. And do you know who else is at the villains' headquarters? It's Tony! I mean, it's Tony's brain. In a jar. Alive. And conscious. (And his eyeballs. I don't know why or how he still has his eyes. I'm trying not to think about that.)
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The fact that Tony is now a brain in a jar is what the #book-club channel has been shrieking about with horrified glee for an entire month. If you like sad Tonys, there is no sadder Tony than this. You cannot make a sadder Tony than this. He is a brain in a jar. It's like everything about his favorite transhumanism, gone wrong. He's been there for years. He has never known Steve Rogers, and doesn't that just break your heart? He's suicidal. He begs the villain to finally kill him. He begs Hank to kill him, whether or not the good guys win. His life -- or undeath, or whatever it is -- is so awful that death is, for him, the happy ending. (We already know, canonically, that Tonys who never meet Steve are the saddest Tonys. Fantastic Four: Dark Reign #2, the issue that famously gave us Earth-3490, also gave us a look at Earth-1735, in which Steve is found very late in the superheroing game and Tony has clearly spent all the time in which they should have been Avengers together instead drinking his life away.) Sad Brain Jar Tony fills the good guys who find him -- Hank, Bucky, and Kiyoshi -- in on the villains' backstory and plans, which is basically that Superia has been stealing all the Captains America and has joined up with AIM and gotten herself a Cosmic Cube to shove them all into, and I'm sure we all guessed that that was happening because what even is a good Cap plot without a Cosmic Cube? Anyway, 1940s Steve doesn't meet Tony personally, as far as I can tell, but he does get to hear about him being alive over the comms, at least -- although it wouldn't mean much to him then, because at this point he doesn't know Tony. So all the Caps and Tath Ki and the villains end up falling into the Cosmic Cube along with the rest of the Caps that Superia stole, who are already in there. Steve merges with one of his other self, which breaks the Cube, and the alternate dystopian reality basically... vanishes from existence as everyone goes home. And Sad Brain Jar Tony is finally at peace. *sniff* Due to the mysteries of time-travel, Bucky and the two Caps after him -- Shannon and Kiyoshi -- remember what happened, but the two from before -- 1941 Steve and John Walker -- don't seem to. Except when Bucky meets up with his Steve, the Commander Rogers of 2011, it's clear that Bucky's return triggered something and Steve is starting to remember everything. Then Bucky decides to go turn himself in and face justice for the Winter Soldier's crimes. We get a brief look at Kiyoshi's time, where he's helping christen a new aircraft carrier named after Steve. And that's it. So obviously this is a completely wild plot in the way that comics are the best at, and what I really want most in life now is fic where 2011 Commander Rogers -- who we know is not the best at having feelings where Tony is concerned, because his current reaction to Tony is to scream at him about his feelings, in the snow, surrounded by all of their friends -- has to deal with the fact that he remembers being in a world where Tony is a sad brain in a jar and it all happened because he wasn't there to save him. Heroic Age-era (early Avengers v4) is one of my favorite flavors of Steve/Tony angst, as they work out how to have a friendship again (and are so bad at it that it involves a lot of very public screaming fights), and this just piles the angst right on top. (Yeah, guess what's on my WIP list now.) Objectively, it's not a perfect comic -- it's kind of a mess, but it's a mess in that glorious comics way that comics are so good at. I suspect if you're not here for the Steve/Tony you won't like it as much, but if you are... well, please enjoy pondering Sad Brain Jar Tony in his dystopian, Steve-less future.
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biaswreckermagnet · 3 years
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Fate: The Winx Saga - My Thoughts and Critique - Part 1: Characters
Be warned: The following post will be quite long as I have a lot to say. Please note that this is all my personal opinion and this is just the thoughts and critique of someone that has watched the original Winx Club several time and I have watched the new Winx Saga, and this is in no way a blind hatred based on only word of mouth and seeing half a trailer. Enjoy
I will be comparing this new series to the original 4Kids version, as this is the version I hold close to my heart and grew up watching. So if there are any plot differences I describe from the animation, it is probably due to the slight changes made in the Nick Dub, which some people will know best (example, in 4Kids dub, Aisha’s name is Layla, and Sparks is known as Domino in the Nick dub)
CHARACTERS
Well, I have a lot to say about the characters, just like anyone else. I’ll break down, the casting, compare the character to the animation, and their personality in the Netflix series.
Bloom
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The actress chosen in my opinion was a good choice. The problem I have, is her personality.  They got the determination and hot-head traits right, of course. But in the animation, Bloom is warm, friendly and bubbly. Easy-going and popular among her peers. I don’t know if they were trying to appeal to the oh-so-angsty teenagers that don’t want to go outside and have few friends. The typical “I’m not like other girls” trope. Tropes are popular, and as someone who has written stories in the past, I have used that trope once, but usually it’s a trope I like when it’s to show the character’s beauty compared to others who may be catty and selfish; not so beautiful on the inside. Here, to me, Bloom is just unlikable. She may be angsty and a rebellious teen, blah blah blah, but she was so rude to people like her Earth mother, and inconsiderate of her own actions and how it could affect those around her. Even if Aisha told her “That is a bad idea, you’re going to regret it” she runs along and does it anyway, and then she gets into a bad situation which also affects everyone, Even if she helps clean up the mess, damage is still done.
In Fate, Bloom’s relationship with her parents is not amazing. Yes, she’s an angsty, rebellious teen who almost kills them because she lost control of her power, but I found this cold, rude relationship so unnecessary.  As a teen, sometimes it may seem like no one is listening nor can understand,  parents just seem nosy and overbearing, but communication is key. That’s what I find so many shows are missing now: communication.
Looking at Bloom’s relationship with her parents in the animation, it’s not only simpler for them to know from the start that she has powers, but it makes the communication between both parties better. This strong relationship Bloom and her parents have is always present, but we see the beauty of it in Season 1, episode 13, “Meant to Be” when Mike and Vanessa sit her down and talk to her about how they realised she had magic before that fateful meeting with Stella.
There is none of that warmth and love now. Bloom curses at her mother, gives her attitude and is overall just a brat.  Bloom may feel remorse towards herself for burning her mother, but then, why is the attitude towards her so ugly? I really don’t like it.
Aisha/Layla
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Next is Aisha, who is the only character that was not whitewashed from the original. The only reason I think she wasn’t is because the creators of Winx Saga knew there would be a true uproar if they dared to replace her with someone non-black.
She is the general voice of reason in the group, and the babysitter of Bloom and company. She will support and be the shoulder for Bloom to lean on in a few cases, but generally she’s the only one calling Bloom out for being rash and insensible, but then she gets ignored or sneered at for it, despite rbeing the only one with awareness for consequences.
There isn’t much to compare to with her animated version except for her being athletic; made very obvious in episode one where she says “I swim twice a day, every day”. (Even though that is the only episode we see her following said routine.) Other than that, her backstory is not expanded upon like the animation, obviously due to the lack of screen time and actual length of the Netflix series, therefore for me, I didn’t really bond with her character like in the original.
Stella
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The actress is pretty. Not too hard to cast a pretty blonde in a series. Moving on.
In the original Winx, I adore Stella. She’s bubbly, she’s fun, she’s bright. Literally the sunshine of the group. Yes, she has her snooty privileged princess moments, but she is a likable snooty, privileged princess. Why? She showed that she really does care for her friends. Stella can be self-centered and insecure, but she’s never afraid to say that she’s wrong when she realises her mistakes. This is shown several times, but right now I can speak of two instances: Season 1, Episode 8 “Spelled”. Technically, she was under a spell that made her moody and rude, but she still knew she had to set things right after upsetting Musa. Another memorable moment for me when she showed her caring side was during the girls’ stay at the no-magic resort in Season 2, episode 21 ““Trouble in Paradise”. She went after Aisha/ Layla to check if she was all right, they connected and Stella earned her Charmix. Overall, Stella in the animation has her flaws, but she is loved by all and she herself loves the people she’s close to.
However, Stella in Winx Saga, I detest. I was really disappointed with what they did to her character. Honestly, it would have made more sense if she was Diaspro (Sky’s ex-fiance from season 1 and 3) and not Stella. She’s  a snob, rude and dismissive of others’ feelings. They did try to toss a sympathy card at our faces later when they eplained the reason why Winx Saga Stella is so - her toxic, overbearing and abusive mother - but honestly, maybe it was because it happened so fast because of the limited time, butI was not feeling any sympathy towards her. I felt like I should have, but I couldn’t. I hope her character changes in Season 2, if I even bother watching it, because I was enormously disappointed with Stella’s new persona for this first season.  The Solaria ring was nice enough though.
Musa
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Well, here we go. One of the infamous whitewashing cases.  To tell the truth, I'm not surprised but disappointed that it acueallyhappened. You mean to tell me they couldn't find any capable Asian actresses for Musa? Yes, small production and low budget, but still. If you are going to make a live action for a cast that is well loved, respected and recognised for the diversity, you should keep it. It just feels like they do it on purpose at this point.
 Winx Club Musa I like a lot. I love all the girls, but she's just so laid-back and cool, but she's not afraid to call someone out for being unfair or on their attitude (namely Stella most times). She cares for her friends and she cares for Riven. She's family oriented and she's so passionate about music.
 In Winx Saga, she's a mind fairy who used to be a dancer and listens to music with headphones to block out the emotions of people around her when she gets overwhelmed. Interesting new concept and it comes in handy for the new show material. I wouldn't say she was completely unlikable in the WS series but there wasn't anything much besides her ability and that she and Sam (Terra's brother) had somehting more than a fling going on. They were a nice couple. Good chemistry in kisses. I don't know why they decided to not make Riven her man - who knows what the plan is. Riven was not hers in the beginning of the animation either, but we saw a great bond form later on. Their relationship had problems unlike the other Winx couples, but they still are a fan favourite. Let's see how this new match goes I guess?
Flora/Terra
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Terra We all know she's supposed to be Flora, no matter how they try to spin it. Before anyone says she's a different character so it's not whitewashing, I have seen a video on Youtube where a girl explains that in actuality, it was supposed to be Flora because there are (now deleted) clips of characters talking to Flora, not Terra. And the adresses portfolio said she was to play Flora. They seemed to change it to avoid heating up the hot water they had already landed themselves into.
Therefore, I will be comparing Terra and Flora. I was extremely disappointed when I saw the trailer and realised Flora was clearly not there. I am not usually one to care whether or not someone looks like me in a show, but I do relate to Flora. I may not always be one that likes to get close to nature honestly, but everything else about her I relate to. I love pink a lot, I am a mixed race person so her looks are what I identify with the most, and our personalities are quite similar. 
Terra, on the other hand, is obviously white. The love of plants is there and her sweet and gentle personality is there. Though, it doesn’t get much time to shine because whenever she speaks, she’s either cut off or ignored, unless she’s spouting information the others want to hear at the moment.  They did make her quite chatty, and at times even I was a bit annoyed, not because she was chatty, but because that trait just seemed to be a gateway for the scriptwriters to hit you with details about Alfea and its history, and information about fairies without making much effort. Terra didn’t have much screen time, but whenever she was on screen, she was always the butt of a joke and treated poorly. When the situation became dire, she did have some moments of strength, but then the other characters still treated her the same so it seems meaningless.
One main reason Terra stands out to the audience is the fact that she’s the only plus-sized character. I’m all for representation, but I don’t like where they went with Terra. She’s shown to be insecure about her body (shown when she avoids her roommates to change alone). Yes, she’s supposed to be a teen who has heard non-directed comments about weight by other characters, but why couldn’t they make her a confident plus-sized girl? I have plenty of friends that are plus-sized and confident about themselves, older or younger. In media, it’s rare enough to see a plus-sized person, but also one that has confidence. This show is directed to teens, and those who may look and feel the same as Terra won’t have a good example set for themselves to be more confident. If you’re going to include a certain figure in your story, yes, everyone has insecurities and all, but if you have the power to shine light and empower, do it right!
Sky
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One reason why I bothered watching the show. Danny Griffin. The man playing Sky. Iin the original Winx, I did not really care for Sky as I’m not really into the long blonde hair, I prefer shorter hair. So I was quite pleased to see this casting as it fits more into my personal type.
Anyways, let’s continue.
I found that the casting was done well for Sky. A hot blonde warrior that can wield weapons well? They nailed it. However, that’s kind of where it ended for me. Due to the plot, his character was pretty much ruined for me. Winx Saga Sky was sadly unremarkable personality-wise. The story didn’t allow for much expansion for him besides having the hots for Bloom and the whole boo-hoo story about his father. There was something of a nice relationship with his mentor, but I’ll get to that later.
Danny Griffin’s performance was quite good. My only issue was one part of his first appearance where his first few lines. . .sounded like lines. Not so much the result of bad acting, but it just was another case of sounding like lines written for a script than natural conversation. But I only really saw that in the first episode, and since everyone would have been getting into character at that time I can let it pass. Otherwise, he performed well as an actor.
Riven
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Winx Club Riven does not have the best first impression. According to Musa, he’s “a little rough around the edges, but that’s kind of his charm”. He’s a troubled, moody guy who falls for the wrong girl. He has a very competitive side, especially with Sky, who always manages to beat him in combat. He is indeed often arrogant of his abilities, but he proved himself to not be just all talk during his escape from imprisonment in Cloud Tower during Season 1, and even Sky admitted to being impressed with his knowledge of survival and strategies, even going so far as to say he always thought Riven was the “Red Fountain Slacker”. Animated Riven also has a sweet side that was displayed in season 2 when he comforted Musa during the girls’ first mission to Shadowhaunt, and much more so after they started dating. He expressed how much he cared for Musa in shy but blunt ways. Flawed, but a character that developed throughout the series.
Winx Saga completely threw that out of the window. Riven is now just a clown that does bad boy things. He’s clearly still being portrayed as the “edgy” character with troubles and insecurities, but the rest of the show is so aggressively dark and edgy that he really has no way to stand out anymore. I don’t know what they’re planning to do with his characterr later on, but I really dislike what they did to him. The only thing done right is his competitive nature towards Sky. Side note, this is also my personal preference, but I must add that I am not feeling the minimal facial hair. I’d prefer a clean shaven face. The little spikes just looks messy. But then, facial hair always looks messy to me. 
Faragonda
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Faragonda. Or as she is known now, Farah Dowling. I’m not sure what to say for her. The actress did well, I can say that. The problem always lies with the characters themselves.
 Faragonda is a beloved headmistress that always has an eye out for her students, whether she watches them through her magic mirror in her office or just personally. She gives them enough guidance so they can grow on their own and helps them when she sees the need to. However, she is also strict when needed and will not condone disobedience; this was seen in season 1 when the Winx were punished for breaking into Cloud Tower to get Stella’s ring from the Trix. She is a brave, just and kind woman, well suited for a principal position.
Farah Dowling does not have much besides her position. She’s very secretive and those secrets seem to be there to cause drama when it could have ben avoided. It could be an irrational thought process that humans have, but I’d expect that from someone who hasn’t experienced much in life. The type of past Farah has, she should know better than to keep secrets if she knows it can put the whole school in danger. Her lack of disciplinary action was evident, whether it was the scene of a villain making their move or Bloom blatantly disobeying orders and making choices that moved the plot forward a bit. It was odd to see that even if she knew this person went dilly-dallying in her office or broke a rule, ut wasn’t met with discipline unless something really bad happened. Whereas, we all know that in a school setting, small rule breaking is also punished. I did like the part in the last episode when she and Bloom finally had a warm interaction, I found it very sweet and it was nice to finally have her interact with Bloom without having to expect some impending doom to arise in the next scene.
Beatrix
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We did not get the stylish trio we know and love for Winx Saga, but I must say, I was not disappointed by Sadie Soverall. She portrayed the character really well.
She’s a blending of the famous Trix. She’s cunning and does not let anyone get in her way, much like Icy. Seductive like Darcy and I’d say she has Stormy’s malicious nature. (I mean the Trix are all malicious but Stormy generally could let her viciousness rule her judgement). As well as the fact that her power kind of looks like electric bolts, like Stormy’s.
A manipulator that was being manipulated. She’s icy cold, cunning and she knows who she should attach herself to in order to reach her goals. Just a sub-villain I say, but I enjoyed the character. Minus the odd little plots her character was mixed into, which I will discuss later.
Rosalind
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A new character who so far seems like the puppet master of all the characters - both good and evil sides. A master manipulator and charismatic. Very enjoyable to watch despite her short screen time. She was the one person that actually had me excited to know what was going to happen next. Very well performed in my opinion.
Mike
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The only time I saw this actor truly in character was in the last episode when he was wearing this blue shirt. He really looked like Mike. It may always be necessary to dress a character exactly like the original, but some things are just subtle and yet iconic. Imagine Shaggy from Scooby-Doo without his green shirt and brown pants combo. It wouldn’t feel like him. Otherwise he’s quite a basic looking man so not too hard to cast. I do think this actor really matched Mike though - looks wise, at least.
With Mike, there are less interactions with Bloom besides having very basic “How are you doing?”conversations. There’s a lame joke here and there but nothing really worth commenting over.here now The focus when it came to mentioning the parents in Winx Saga was mostly to Vanessa.
Vanessa
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Vanessa in the original series is warm, loving and a good mother.  She and Bloom have a strong relationship and have great communication between them, and Bloom not only respects her but also goes to Vanessa when she needs advice and support. The ideal mother-daughter bond.
Date’s Vanessa is more. . .trying to be a good mother but not quite nailing it. As I mentioned during Bloom’s analysis, she’s met with hostility or downright rudeness if she even mentions going out and making friends to her daughter. There were a few moments when it could have been touching to see thieir interactions, but apart from the scene when Bloom was feeling homesick, it felt a bit rushed. Perhaps it was the acting, perhaps it was that the awkward interactions overruled the positive ones, but the Winx Saga relationship between Bloom and Vanessa didn’t feel as connected.
In conclusion, mot of the acting was well done. The issues I have were mostly due to the writing of the characters, not the ability of the actors.
Other minor characters will be analysed during the plot discussion.
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ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist
Supernatural Stories
Shackled After nearly ten years, Sam Winchester calls Miriam Bard to collect on a life debt. Unfortunately for Miriam, Sam leaves out a few important details.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Miriam Bard (original female character), Sam Winchester, Castiel Rating: EXPLICIT. 18+ONLY. PLEASE READ/HEED WARNINGS.  Warning: Warnings change each chapter, please check every time. Ch 1 Warnings: Implied loss of family, grieving, depression, cursing, Demon!Dean, Sam’s tendency to leave out vital details for folks helping him to save Dean (read: Sam’s tendency to be a Winchester)
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Walk Me Home Twenty-four years ago, Kimberly Harper met a boy who changed the course of her entire life before up and leaving one night. She spent years moving past the memories, building a stable, satisfying career as professor of folklore and mythology at the local university. Then the accidents start, and she’s forced to seek help among her hunter contacts. All it takes is a knock on her office door to send Kimber’s carefully built emotional walls crumbling to the ground. Inspired by P!nk’s “Walk Me Home.” A birthday present for the incomparable @thoughtslikeaminefield.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Dr. Kimberly Harper (original female character), Mysterious Big Bad,  mention of Garth Fitzgerald, John Winchester/Teenage Dean/young Teenage Sam (flashbacks) Rating: Mature.. 18+ONLY. PLEASE READ WARNINGS. Warnings: Show level violence, show level parental neglect (let’s not John bash, I’m just saying), show-style witchcraft, show-level mental manipulation, stalking, bit of angst, sexual content (higher than show level),swearing, general yearning. ...
Dear Mr. Fantasy  Sometimes when he sleeps, Dean sees flashes of other Dean Winchesters, in other universes. Inspired by Traffic’s “Dear Mr. Fantasy” and the header image; prompt given by @thoughtslikeaminefield​. @cabin-fever-bang​ prompt fill.
Characters: Dean Winchester, AU Dean Winchester, original female character, Sam Winchester; mentions of Castiel, Chuck, AU John Winchester, AU Sam Winchester, and AU Danny Elkins  Rating: Teen Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. ...
To My Soul You’ve taken to walking when insomnia strikes. Dean and Sam have their own means of dealing with their occasional insomnia. Every now and then, your paths cross. Inspired by Van Morrison’s “And It Stoned Me”. Image by @there-must-be-a-lock
Characters: Reader, Sam Winchester, mentions of Dean Winchester Rating: Most anyone. Warnings: Some loneliness. This story is very soft, there’s not much to warn about. ...
Detours on the Road So Far - OR - Why Sam and Dean Need Actual Adult Supervision Shenanigans. Lots of them. Probably some pie. THIS IS CRACK FIC.
Characters: Our main dudes. Some friends, frenemies, and various other entities. Rating: Range from Teen to Adult, changes each chapter. WARNINGS CHANGE WITH EACH CHAPTER. READ/HEED WARNINGS FOR EACH CHAPTER. ADULT THEMES THROUGHOUT, SOME ADULTIER THAN OTHERS. ...
The Rose “She’s fifty today, and in Dean’s opinion, there’s never been anyone more beautiful.” An alternate Dean reflects on the life he’s led. Sequel to “Dear Mr. Fantasy.”
Characters: An Alternate universe Dean (no, not that one), his wife (original female character or female reader, depending on how hard you stare at it), mentions of Sam, John, vague reference to Chuck. Rating: Most anybody can read this one.  Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. Honestly, it’s pretty sweet. ...
Crossword Clues and Coffee A chance encounter in Lebanon’s finest (read: only) diner leads Dean to find the one thing he never knew his life was missing.   
Characters: Dean Winchester, Esther (original female character), Sam Winchester, Castiel Rating: Most anyone. Maybe a smattering of language. Warnings: Tiny bit of language? Angst. LOTS of sass. Honestly, it’s a lot of fluff. No romance. ...
I’m Ready “I can’t...I can’t take my forever if you’re not in it.”  A Destiel story, eventually. Picks up right where the show left off. Not technically a fix-it, as I didn’t change anything, but I promise it gets better.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel. Many Original Characters, Appearances by John Winchester, May Winchester, Bobby, Jody, Donna, Charlie, Kevin, and a few other name drops you’ll appreciate Rating: Teen Warnings: Cursing, mentions of (canon) child abuse and neglect, mentions of past trauma, working through trauma, denial, bit of pining ...
We’ve Got Tonight  “It’s not your job to do this, Andy. You make people happy. I was in the diner all of ten minutes, and you knew exactly how to get me to smile. You do normal, real things like garden and sing karaoke. Saving the world is my job, Sam’s job. Sometimes it’s even Cas’s job, but it’s not yours.” Inspired by Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight”
Characters: Andy (Original Female Character), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death, More Major Character Deaths (sort of?), higher than show level violence, blood, light smutting, language, demons, apocalypse, inferred suicide, cult activity.
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Marvel/MCU Stories
Breathe With Me “The magnitudes of the rocks and trees and streams are so delicately harmonized, they are mostly hidden.” John Muir
Characters: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, original gender neutral character (reader) Relationship(s): Established poly relationship.  Rating: Teen, but probably not even that Warnings: This is meant to be a comfort fic, rather than a triggery, angsty one. Anxiety attacks, stress, someone with a news-watching trigger, but otherwise the story is people finding ways to cope/deal with their triggers and supporting others who are doing the same. ...
After Midnight She calls him one last time, determined to put an end to their tryst. Loki feels differently. Written for @fvckingavengers Quarantine Challenge, prompt #32: “After Midnight” by Dorothy. Be gentle, this is my first posted Loki story. Beautiful header by @there-must-be-a-lock ; thank you so much, friend!
Characters: Loki, unnamed female character/reader Relationships: Loki/unnamed female character/reader Rating: Mature. 18+ONLY. Warnings: sexual content, Loki being persuasive
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How Long The call comes sometime after midnight, pulling you instantly alert from your deep sleep. Your phone is set to “Do Not Disturb,” and only one number is programmed as an exception.
Characters: Reader, Steve Rogers (Nomad Steve Rogers, Nomad Captain America) Relationship(s): reader x Steve Rogers Rating: MATURE. 18+ ONLY. 
...
Shadows and Pills Some people come away from the Battle of New York with scars and broken bones. Some come away with nightmares and years of therapy ahead of them. Some don’t come away at all. Alexa comes away with a shadow.
Characters: Alexa (original female character), Dark/Evil Loki Rating: Explicit. 18+ONLY Warnings: RAPE, Torture, Abuse, Self Harm, Negative Images of Psychological Services/Mental Health Professionals, Hallucinations, Stalking, Supernatural Horror, Prescription Drug Use and Eventual Abuse, Mental Illness, PTSD, Flashbacks of Violence, Flashbacks of Tragedy, Starving Oneself, Isolation, Physical and Mental Exhaustion, Denial, Self Neglect, Gaslighting, Mental Spiraling, Mental and Emotional Abuse ...
Real Person Fic
Binging “The last thing he wants you to think is that you’re simply a convenience, someone he just keeps on the hook for when he’s got time.” Inspired by Mr. Stan’s infamous Men’s Health photo shoot, as well as his “Cheat Day” video.
Rating: M, 18+ONLY Warnings: Language (heh), smut, fluff, excessive use of breakfast foods. Characters: Sebastian Stan, Reader/Unnamed Original Character Word Count: 2.4k ...
Every Now and Then “It’s a simple case of not enough versus taking what you can get. Sometimes she sees him for a day or two, then not again for almost half a year.” Relationships are hard. When one person is a world-wide superstar and both people are idiots, they get that much harder. They both take what they can get, but eventually that may not be enough.
Characters: Tom Hiddleston, Reader Insert/Unnamed Original Female Character Rating: Mature, 18+ONLY Warnings: Two large dollops of smut, a half-cup of angst divided, several pinches of language, dash of loneliness, and a good sprinkle of lack of communication. Fold ingredients together gently, bake at 200c fan for 20 minutes, then serve piping hot from the oven.
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orionsangel86 · 5 years
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75 Must Watch Supernatural Episodes in preparation for Season 15
As you might recall, a while ago TV Guide posted an article about their choice of the top 75 episodes of Supernatural to watch as a catch up of the series before the final season. 
I read that article, and found myself absolutely horrified at many of their choices and outraged that many of the all time best episodes (including ones extremely important to the story) were missed off.
Everyone has their own opinions of course, but when I disagree with something that much it tends to motivate me to act out of pure spite - I do love a good spite motivation - and so I have made my own list, for the fandom, of the 75 absolute must watch episodes for anyone who wants to understand the integral story of Supernatural.
I have to hand it to TV Guide, whilst I adamantly disagreed with their choices, I admit that this was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and having to sacrifice some of my faves so that I could include others that were more important to the story HURT, but that’s how it is.
Full list under the cut. Let me know what you think of my choices and my reasons!
1. Pilot
You cannot start a series catch up anywhere else, and we have to include the pilot episode. Introducing us to Sam and Dean, and setting up the story including the back story with the family tragedy. You just can’t beat a good old fashioned female fridging for man pain. *jokes*
2. 1x06 Skin
I feel like Skin is an important episode to watch as it is our first real look at Dean’s psyche as a character, where we start to realise just how much he is hiding behind his tough macho man exterior. The speech by Shifter!Dean to a horrified and confused Sam is heartbreaking and very revealing. 
3. 1x12 Faith
This is still hands down one of Supernaturals best episodes. It was also the first time Kripke started considering a bigger mytharc involving faith and Christianity. We can all thank this episode for planting the seeds that would later give us the hugely popular character Castiel, and the hugely successful mytharc plots of Seasons 4 and 5. Also, one of the best music moments from the show with the “Don’t Fear The Reaper” chase scene.
4. 1x14 Nightmare
This episode introduces us to the Special Children story line which was of paramount importance to the first two seasons. It gives us the first glimpses of Sam’s powers to come, and is also the first time we get some hints of John Winchesters abuse of Dean.
5. 1x18 Something Wicked
I chose this episode because it is the first time we get to see more of Sam and Dean’s childhood, and how horrific it was - especially for Dean. A brilliant episode that once again clearly demonstrates how John Winchester is not a man to be messed with. If at this point you aren’t itching to call child services on his ass you probably need to read up on your understanding of child abuse.
6. 1x22 Devils Trap
The Season 1 finale gives us the show down between John Winchester and the Yellow Eyed Demon Azazel, some heartbreaking moments between father and sons, and a cliffhanger that leaves Baby and Dean both broken.
7. 2x01 In My Time of Dying
I love this episode. Dean’s out of body experience at the hospital, Sam’s grief, John’s deal, Tessa’s introduction to the show. C’est magnifique!
8. 2.05 Simon Said
I just think Simon Said is a great episode that further develops the special children plot whilst being both funny and dark at its core - classic SPN.
9. 2.15 Tall Tales
Our introduction to Gabriel - well, to the trickster as he is known here. This episode is gloriously funny and a must watch!
10. 2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Parts One and two
Okay I’m cheating a bit and putting these two episodes together, but in my opinion they count as their own feature length episode as you can’t watch one without the other. The climax of the special children arc, the deeply emotional Sam death scene and Dean’s bedside vigil, and Dean selling his soul. This two part season finale packed a lot of punches and is a definite must watch.
11. 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock
How can anyone forget Sam’s run of bad luck in this hilarious episode. He LOST HIS SHOE!
12. 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me
This is another must watch episode for the deep dive into Dean’s psyche. We also get more of a backstory to Bobby Singer, but the real brilliance happens when Dean spends part of the episode talking to his own dark mirror, revealing all sorts of subconscious fears and insecurities on his part.
13. 3.11 Mystery Spot
I couldn’t not put Mystery Spot on the list. This infamous episode of Supernatural will have you singing “Heat of the Moment” over and over again whilst sympathising with poor Sam every time Tuesday comes around. Don’t let Dean eat the funny tasting tacos!
14. 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked
In lots of ways, Season 3 was a weak season. It was drastically shortened due to the writers strike at the time, and Kripke & Co didn’t get to tell the story they initially planned for, instead they had to come up with an alternative which gave us this dark finale in which Dean is condemned to hell. That can’t have been a fun hiatus for fans watching live... Still, it was a memorable finale and that is why it is on my list.
15. 4.01 Lazarus Rising
This episode. Here begins Supernaturals “golden age”. Enter Castiel, Angel of the Lord and future fan favourite right up until 2k19. How many people out in the world saw that now famous entrance and immediately fell in love? 
*holds up hand*
If you do nothing else, and you’ve never seen a single episode of Supernatural before, just watch this one, and I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, you will want to keep watching.
16. 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester
The problem I have with season 4 is that I want to put basically every episode on the list. To this day it remains my favourite season of the show (and not just for the extreme DeanCas sexual tension). I kept this episode on the list simply because I love the Halloween theme, I love the frankly horrifying Samhain, and I LOVE the journey that Castiel goes through in this episode alone. Bonus points for Sam Winchester fangirling over Castiel proving he is no different from the rest of us. :P
17. 4.16 On the Head of a Pin
I say season 4 is my favourite season, and On the Head of a Pin is one of my all time favourite episodes. This is Supernatural at it’s finest and it’s not surprising as it was written by the great Ben Edlund. It is a perfect blend of horror and angst as we watch every character painfully spiral downwards. Sam hungrily drinks Ruby’s blood much to the audiences horror, Castiel faces his internal and external conflicts as all starts to unravel in the heavenly plans, and Dean plays a terrifying game of wits in an outstanding performance with the demon Alistair, his hellish torturer. It was a performance that Jensen Ackles should have won an Emmy for in my honest opinion. This episode has forever ruined the song “Cheek to Cheek” for me, but it was so worth it.
18. 4.17 It's a Terrible Life
It’s one of the classics. This AU world in which the angels flex their power over the Winchesters is another well loved fan favourite and quite frankly deserves to be here purely for the hilarious scene that many office workers all over the world would wish they could reenact as Sam quits his job in the most Sam Winchester way possible. 
19. 4.20 The Rapture
I had to keep this episode here because it is so important for future story lines. As Castiel gets closer to Dean, heaven takes action and we meet Jimmy Novak, Cas’s tormented vessel, and in Castiel’s own future words “his greatest regret”. It’s a deeply emotional episode that proves even angels have their dark sides.
20. 4.22 Lucifer Rising
The Season 4 finale is still one of the most epic in my opinion. Sam and Dean’s dramatic fight in the episode before has left them both vulnerable to the angels and demons that are manipulating them for their own purposes. Ruby’s villain reveal speech is still one of the best, and as she shows her true colours to a horrified Sam, Dean makes an angel fall for him. In every way. 
21. 5.03 Free to Be You and Me
This episode is another classic and many fans of Destiel would put it among their top episodes. As Sam and Dean go their separate ways, Dean grows closer to a now fallen and socially awkward Castiel.
22. 5.04 The End
Another epic from the mastermind that is Ben Edlund. The End has inspired much extremely angst ridden fanfiction over the years (and a very romantic song in a future musical episode) and is notorious for breaking fans hearts the world over. As Dean is unwillingly sent to a future apocalyptic world, he meets his harsh and brutal future self, and a drug addled hedonistic human Castiel. The most memorable and painful moment being his confrontation with a sharply dressed Lucifer wearing his brothers face. Tears flowed freely from fans the night this episode aired. 
23. 5.08 Changing Channels
Changing Channels is another of those infamous episodes that even non fans of SPN are aware of for it’s sheer lunacy. Sam and Dean once again find themselves up against the trickster aka the archangel Gabriel, who puts them into a TV world where they must “play their roles” in order to survive. 
Highlights include Sam’s herpes commercial and Dean’s heart eyes for Doctor Sexy MD. 
24. 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon
Dark Side of the Moon is a beautiful episode. The race through heaven and through each Winchester’s memories gives us a far greater understanding of their complex and troubled relationship. The heartbreaking scenes of Dean’s heaven with his mother that Sam could not be part of were especially painful to watch. The climax reveal that God wasn’t listening and Castiel’s subsequent loss of faith only added to that heartbreak. Another must see episode.
25. 5.18 Point of No Return
As is the case with season 4, it was so difficult not to just put every season 5 episode on this list. I do think that both seasons just need to be watched in full to truly grasp how brilliant they were. Point of No Return needs to be on this list though because this episode is the breaking point, the tensions remain high throughout as each character makes desperate choices as they all spiral towards the Endtimes.
26. 5.22 Swan Song
Swan Song is often considered the number 1 top episode of Supernatural. It is always at the top of these “rank the episodes” lists in the media, and that is why it is on my list too. It is brilliant in many ways, but if I am being completely honest it doesn’t even come close to the top of my own personal list ranking SPN episodes. It is certainly emotional, and there are some extremely heartbreaking scenes. Lucifer plays his hand, Dean plays his right back with the power of love, Sam makes his swan dive. It’s heartbreaking, it needs to be watched, but the “endings are hard” meta moan by Kripke always felt slightly too pretentious for my tastes. Don’t make excuses dude, this episode didn’t need them.
27. 6.11 Appointment in Samarra
I’ll be honest, I didn’t like season 6. Whilst some of the individual episodes were good, the mytharc was weak and I think the season struggled to find it’s feet for many episodes at the start. I didn’t like soulless Sam, preferring my Sammy to be the compassionate caring sweetheart he always was before. That being said, Appointment in Samarra is a brilliant standalone episode simply because the character of Death is so very compelling. Dean’s time playing Death was fun whilst also being a deeply emotional exploration of cause and effect in the universe. It’s a must watch.
28. 6.15 The French Mistake
I couldn’t not put this episode on the list. If Season 6 did one thing right, it was this ridiculous episode.
29. 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King
The only other thing Season 6 did right. 6x20 is Ben Edlund’s masterpiece and without it, frankly, the entire mytharc plot of the season would fail miserably. This beautiful episode told from the point of view of a hugely conflicted Castiel not only birthed an entire new generation of Destiel shippers, but canonically confirmed that Castiel’s every decision was motivated by his love for Dean. 
*Ouch my shipper heart*
30. 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much
The season 6 finale is on this list purely for two characters: Sam and Cas. Sam’s journey to put himself back together inside his own head is as enjoyable as it is emotional. Castiel’s spiralling through into utter villainy is simply soul destroying - especially for those of us who are heavily invested in this character. 
31. 7.01 Meet the New Boss
I had to keep the season 7 premiere in this episode as it is the only hint we have of what could have been an AMAZING season story line! Sadly, it was not to be, and Castiel’s run as God lasts this episode only before a very misguided showrunner wrote him off the show (thankfully she saw reason and brought him back dramatically later on, even though the damage and huge drop in ratings was already done.) Worth watching purely for enjoying a power drunk Castiel wipe out a homophobic preacher - he really doesn’t like those homophobes!
32. 7.10 Death's Door
The first time I watched Death’s Door I sobbed for 20 minutes straight. Bobby Singer was the best father Sam and Dean (and Castiel at times) could have ever had, and this heartfelt goodbye to the character as he fought against his reaper and his own memories really packed a punch.
33. 7.17 The Born-Again Identity
The episode that turned it all around. The Born-Again Identity sees a desperate Dean take a chance on a mysterious healer to help a haunted Sam. That healer turns out to be everything Dean has been waiting for. Castiel’s dramatic return to the series answered both Deans, and many fans, prayers. 
34. 7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo
The introduction of Charlie Bradbury was a must on this list. She immediately became a fan favourite with her upbeat quirkiness. Created to be an avatar for fandom in many ways, she was a breath of fresh air compared to the previous fan avatar the show introduced us too who the less we mention the better. This episode was a lighthearted fun episode in an otherwise downright depressing season.
35. 7.23 Survival of the Fittest
It’s a must watch for the dick jokes alone. In all seriousness, I like this episode, even if it is another weak finale compared to others. The dynamic between Dean, Sam, Meg, and a Castiel who isn’t quite himself, is enjoyable, even if the villain of the season isn’t all that interesting.
36. 8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy?
Where the season 8 premiere focused on the present day, and what Sam had been doing in the year between the season 7 finale and now, episode 2 focuses more on purgatory. Dean’s time in purgatory desperately hunting for an AWOL Castiel is definitely worth the watch, especially when their purgatory reunion was so heartbreaking. Bonus points for Sam being worthy of Mjolnir!
37. 8.07 A Little Slice of Kevin
I make no secret of the fact that Castiel is my favourite character in Supernatural, or my love of Dean and Castiel’s relationship. This episode is on my list because Castiel’s return to the real world and an emotional Dean gets my fangirl heart pounding. This episode must use every romantic trope in the book on these two heartbroken dumbasses and it will always be a favourite.
38. 8.08 Hunteri Heroici
This episode is another one of my favourite. The boys finally bring Cas along on an otherwise regular monster of the week hunt, and it is hilarious. Not to mention the hunt is extremely loony and for that reason alone, it is a must watch.
39. 8.11 LARP and the Real Girl
The reintroduction of Charlie Bradbury is a delightful episode where the boys get a taste of LARPING. This is one of those memorable episodes where we get to see the Winchesters both out of their element, and also embracing a bit of fun outside of their normal dark lives. It is a joyful episode to watch.
40. 8.12 As Time Goes By
An integral episode that ends up being a game changer for the show. Thanks to a time travel spell, the boys find out their grandfather was part of a secret organisation. This episode is a must watch for the introduction of Abaddon, the Men of Letters, and the Winchester’s new home base that will see them through to the end of the series - the Bunker.
41. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger
Goodbye Stranger is one of those episodes that will break your heart and leave you screaming. Castiel finally breaks free from heavens grasp - but what broke the connection?
42. 8.23 Sacrifice
I adore the season 8 finale. Crowley’s confession, Sam’s heartbreaking speech which kicked off a long ongoing arc over the next 6 seasons exploring the darker side of the Winchester’s codependency, Metatron’s betrayal, and Castiel’s fall to humanity. The final scene with the angels fall to Earth is beautiful and emotional and I just love everything about it.
43. 9.01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here
The season 9 premiere is another deeply emotional episode which explores the aftermath of Sam’s trials to close the gates of hell. Sam is once again on deaths door, but Dean has ideas to save him - and his choices drastically affect the course of both brothers, and Castiel’s, lives for the next several seasons of pain and downward spirals into darkness. 
44. 9.06 Heaven Can't Wait
The first ever episode written by our angst goblin king Bobo Berens and what a first episode it was. This episode was like a twisted mix between tragedy and romantic comedy but it worked brilliantly. Fans of Dean and Cas both laughed and wept at it’s perfection. It also was the episode that birthed a thousand fanfics thanks to one well placed “fanfiction gap”.
45. 9.11 First Born
This episode is one of the highlights of Season 9, with a brilliant performance by Timothy Omundson as Cain, this episode sees Dean make the terrible mistake of signing a contract before reading the terms and conditions. Bonus side plot of Sam and Cas getting some Bunker bonding time.
46. 9.18 Meta Fiction
This Castiel focused episode from the genius mind of Robbie Thompson is another must watch. The villainous Metatron manipulates Cas into playing a role in his own scripted story. Bonus guest appearance from fan favourite Gabriel adds to the appeal of this episode. (Following the season 14 finale I can’t help but wonder if this episode had some influence on the current writing team - could we even call it foreshadowing?)
47. 9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?
The season 9 finale was another very strong episode which must be watched if only for the huge cliffhanger ending. Dean spirals into his own darkness under the effects of the Mark of Cain, and pays for it with his life. Thankfully Crowley is there to make things “better” and take the wayward Winchester under his demonic wing.
48. 10.03 Soul Survivor
Like many others, I feel that we were robbed of a longer Demon!Dean arc. I also feel like the show could have gone far darker with the character given everything we know about poor Dean’s psyche. Whilst episodes 1 and 2 took a lighter touch the demon, Soul Survivor was as close as we got to a truly evil representation of Dean and this episode shook me with the truly brilliant yet terrifying performance Jensen gives us. 
49. 10.05 Fan Fiction
Fan Fiction is one of those episodes that you will either love or hate. Created as a love letter to the shows fandom, Robbie Thompson poured his heart into this episode and I do think it is a necessary watch even if just for the beautiful rendition of Carry on Wayward Son at the end. Some may find it cringeworthy in parts - many in fandom don’t exactly like the show drawing attention to their “dirty laundry” and I don’t think anyone will forget a fangirl telling Dean Winchester directly that “you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X” nor the break-the-forth-wall look Dean gives the audience upon hearing that. Nevertheless, we can officially say that both Destiel and Sastiel have been mentioned directly by the Winchester brothers - funnily enough Sam seems totally cool with the concept of hooking up with Cas; Dean though, well, as the saying goes “the lady doth protest too much”.
50. 10.14 The Executioner's Song
Like with First Born, this episode is a must watch for Timothy Odmunson’s performance as Cain, and how brilliantly he and Jensen work together. A haunting and tense episode with a heartbreaking conclusion. It’s dark and deep and pretty damn epic.
Bonus Episode Shout Out - 10.16 Paint it Black
I am not actually including this episode in the list, as it is a generic MOTW for the most part. But I do want to give it an honorary mention for one scene in particular. If you are new to the show, and are planning on using this list to catch up, then for this episode, go to YouTube and search “Supernatural 10x16 Dean’s confession”. TRUST ME. If like me, you love analysing Dean’s character to death, his church confession in this episode is like being given the key to figuring out the meaning of life. 
51. 10.22 The Prisoner
I have chosen this episode over the Season 10 finale because this episode depicts Dean’s spiral into total darkness, whereas the season 10 finale always felt like a particularly weak episode to me. Following Charlie’s horrific (and highly controversial) death, Dean lets the Mark of Cain consume him and goes on a killing spree. The ending of this episode ripped my heart to shreds as Castiel promises that he will stay with Dean forever, only for Dean to beat him to near death and only stop at the last minute thanks to that final shred of humanity left in him. If the shot of a bloodied and heartbroken Castiel staring at the angel blade that narrowly missed his head doesn’t make you cry, then I don’t even know why you watch this show.
52. 11.04 Baby
Another fan favourite told from the point of view from the Impala which at this point is definitely its own character and so much more than just a car. Baby is an extremely well put together episode which confirms that there is more than a little bit of magic in that sleek 1967 muscle car.
53. 11.11 Into the Mystic
Into the Mystic introduces us to Eileen Leahy, a character who we all immediately fell in love with, and not just because she is literally PERFECT for Sam Winchester (yes I ship it), but also because she is a badass female hunter and this show is most definitely lacking badass female hunters. It also keeps us on the edge of our seats as Lucifer disguised as Castiel infiltrates the bunker and manages to trick Dean. Epic stuff.
54. 11.17 Red Meat
A well known controversial episode, Red Meat penned by Angst Goblin Bobo Berens delves into the darker, more toxic parts of the Winchester brothers relationship, and highlights just how horrific their codependency has become. Love it or hate it, you can’t deny that it highlights that these boys have some serious issues, and this episode marks a turning point from which both brothers, but especially Dean, start to move upwards, towards a more healthy bond.
55. 11.18 Hell's Angel
The fight to save Castiel from Lucifer’s clutches would be so much easier if the depressed angel actually knew how much he was loved by his Winchester family. Unfortunately for him, Dean is a dumbass who never uses his words. Hell’s Angel is heartbreaking but a must watch if you have any doubt in how much Dean Winchester cares for his angelic guardian. Lucifer’s mockery of his desperation is a particularly nasty knife twist, but then again us fans lap this stuff up. 
56. 11.20 Don't Call Me Shurley
The dramatic return of Chuck AKA God. Another must watch episode which explains in some way what the hell God has been doing all this time, whilst Sam and Dean fight to save a small town from a deathly supernatural fog. The tear-jerking song “Fare Thee Well” sung by Rob Benedict at the end not only foreshadows God’s “death” at the end of the season, but also the departure of fan favourite writer Robbie Thompson from the writing team. Emotional indeed.
57. 11.23 Alpha and Omega
The season 11 finale marks the first time in the shows history that a finale doesn’t have a single death. The uplifting ending in which the boys manage to save the world and reunite God and his sister is a one off for Supernatural, especially when it ends with another shock character resurrection - symbolising a new direction for the show and a new showrunner. This was an epic finale that I thoroughly enjoyed.
58. 12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On
The Season 12 premiere saw the return of Mary Winchester, an awkward introduction with a shocked and overjoyed Castiel, and a dramatic race to save Sam from the British Men of Letters. It sets up a far more human mytharc plot than the previous seasons world ending battles between Gods, but with Mary’s introduction, and Andrew Dabb at the wheel, the story is about to get a whole bunch more personal.
59. 12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets
One of my all time favourite episodes, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets gives us a very small peek at Castiel’s pre-Winchester past, and his beautiful female former vessel (no matter what form Castiel resides in, he is always beautiful - a fact referenced in show almost as often as out of it!). It also confirms that no matter how much Cas and Dean may bicker with each other, no one else insults Dean Winchesters angel and gets away with it! Bonus points for long suffering third wheel Sam Winchesters epic bitch faces and eye rolls throughout.
60. 12.11 Regarding Dean
This episode is one of those rare beauties which gets the balance between humour and heartbreak just right. As Dean rapidly loses his memories under a witches spell, Sam and Rowena fight to save him. Regarding Dean explores deep themes including Dean’s loss of childhood innocence at a young age, and how a life shrouded in darkness has effected him. Pure heartbreak. Bonus points for THAT scene on the bucking bronco. 
61. 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)
Another all time favourite, directed by our very own Richard Speight Jr in a highly stylised homage to Reservoir Dogs and other Tarantino movies. Castiel takes the role of Mr Orange in this gruesome tale, much to the distress of Mr White AKA Dean. One absolutely devastating love confession later and there isn’t a dry eye in the house. DO NOT SKIP THIS EPISODE.
62. 12.19 The Future
The episode that shook the fandom to it’s core thanks to one tiny moment. A desperate Castiel makes some bad decisions, but not before first using Dean’s love for him against him. The knowledge that Dean at one point made a tailored mixtape of his favourite Led Zeppelin songs and gave it to Castiel as a gift BROKE ME. To this day I am still not over this information. To this day I cannot quite get Dean’s soft voice saying “it’s a gift, you keep those.” out of my head. Just remembering the scene as I write this makes my heart flutter and I STILL can’t believe that the writers took the show in this direction. It’s beautiful.
63. 12.22 Who We Are
This heartbreaking episode reveals the importance of Mary’s return to the show, as Dean goes into his mothers own head to try to save her from brainwashing. A truly epic performance from Jensen Ackles (once again) in which Dean finally admits his own burdens, explains how he was robbed of his childhood, and how he was forced into the role of parent to his younger brother when he was 4 years old. Ah that character development is truly delicious. 
64. 12.23 All Along the Watchtower
The season 12 finale packs a lot of punches. The imminent birth of Lucifer’s nephilim son causes a rift in the universe, opening a doorway to another world. As the tension builds to a dramatic conclusion, Lucifer plays his hand, unwittingly trapping himself in the AU world with one beloved character, as another sacrifices himself and a third tragic death leaves Dean shattered and broken on the ground. 
65. 13.01 Lost and Found
The season 13 premier was everything I have ever wanted from a Supernatural episode - namely PAAAAAIN. The last 10 minutes of this episode in particular had me ugly crying into @margarittet and @tinkdw‘s laps. In fact, every time I rewatch this episode I cry again. As we are introduced to Jack, we say goodbye to Castiel, and my god, I will never get over watching Dean Winchester wrap the body of his angel in preparation for the pyre and try so hard to keep it together. Same Dean. Same.
66. 13.05 Advanced Thanatology
Where Lost and Found broke my heart, Advanced Thanatology stamped on the shattered pieces until the final seconds in which it magically pulled me back together again. This episode was the climactic end to a 5 episode mini grief arc for Dean who just couldn’t get over Castiel’s death. In this episode, we realise just how badly that death has affected Dean, as he foolishly risks his life in his desperation for any kind of win he can get. Episode highlights include a brilliant performance from Billie who has assumed the role of Death as she knocks some sense into Dean, and the final dramatic return of Castiel, proving that “it’s never too late to start all over again”.
67. 13.06 Tombstone
Following 5 episodes of extreme angst and pain, the audience is finally given some relief in this joyful episode which sees the reunited Winchesters take their new son on a trip to cowboy country. Honestly it’s worth watching purely for Castiel’s attempt at playing cowboy to make Dean happy, and Sam Winchesters knowing looks as he pointedly calls out Dean’s dramatic 180 turn from uber depressive to ecstatic happiness following his angels return to the world of the living. Bonus points for this episode getting the hashtag #brokebacksupernatural trending on Twitter. 
68. 13.10 Wayward Sisters
The episode that should have kicked off a whole new spin off were it not for the idiotic decisions of a group of suited white guys with no concept of what decent TV is nowadays. Yes I’m still bitter, Yes Mark Pedowitz can go to hell. Wayward Sisters was a brilliant episode that gave us a whole new generation of badass hunting women, and a story that I was 100% invested in seeing more of. It’s a damn tragedy this never got picked up for its own series.
69. 13.16 Scoobynatural
I can’t write a list of top episodes without adding Scoobynatural. The three Winchester boys find themselves zapped into TV land and meet the Scooby Gang. This episode was just hilarious and brilliant. Bonus points for Castiel’s bond with Shaggy and Scooby, and only a minor deduction for Dean’s over the top flirting with Daphne.
70. 13.21 Beat the Devil
In true Supernatural fashion, as the end of the season gets closer, the tension builds to extreme levels. In the apocalypse world the Winchesters try to find and save Jack and Mary, but Lucifer is on their tails. An unexpected attack leads to a highly traumatic and shocking scene in which Sam is killed and a distraught Dean is only pulled away from further danger by a terrified Castiel. The final scene of this episode in which Lucifer resurrects Sam in a truly horrific display of power over his former victim and vessel is haunting and brilliantly acted by Jared Padalecki. The fear he radiates around Lucifer being the only thing that allows me to continue to take the devil seriously at this point in the show. 
71. 14.08 Byzantium 
I know what you are going to say, I have skipped a BIG chunk of episodes in my list. I have to be honest here and admit that the season 13 finale was possibly one of the worst episodes in Supernatural history and I can’t in good conscience add it to this list. I also think that the writers struggled to pull themselves back up to the high standard of early season 13 after that dreadful finale, so the first half of Season 14 always felt a bit dull for me, however Byzantium does make up for it, in it’s emotional story of how Sam, Dean, and Castiel all deal with the death of their son. The highlights of this episode have to be the scenes in heaven, where Jack reunites with his mother Kelly, and Castiel finds them both in her own piece of paradise in another tear-jerking scene. Castiel’s deal with the creature from the Empty leaving Cas fans everywhere horrified and distraught, but also rather excited at what exactly may trigger the deadly deal. Hopefully this plot point will be picked up next season, as it is definitely highly anticipated.
72. 14.10 Nihilism
Another dream episode for any Dean fans who like to analyse his beautifully deep and layered psyche. Sam and Cas must dive into Dean’s mind in order to free him from the archangel Michael. What they find is worth several essay’s of analysis on this fascinating and wonderful character. Dean’s bar; surrounded by symbols and hints of his life and a very apt song put on repeat - Will Dean ever get his rainbow ending? Only one more season to go until we find out.
73. 14.14 Ouroboros
Following all the drama and separation of the Winchester family, they finally all reunite in this episode to hunt a gorgon. I always prefer the episodes where Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all work together, and this episode explores the group dynamic perfectly. The gorgon is a charismatic villain who taunts our heroes and has them all fighting to keep up with him. Put it simply this is just a fun episode and exactly what we want from our MOTW episodes in the new Supernatural era.
74. 14.15 Peace of Mind
Just like the previous episode, Peace of Mind is simply one of the more fun and enjoyable episodes of the season. So much so in fact that I have probably re-watched it a dozen times because I loved it so much. In a rare team up between Sam and Cas, they find themselves stuck in a Pleasantville type place. Hilarity ensues, and poor Sam gets himself stuck in a 1950s style marriage and a sweater vest. Castiel reads some raunchy erotica and enjoys it. You will find yourselves laughing at “H-E-double hockey sticks” for hours afterwards. A must watch lighthearted episode in an otherwise dark season.
75. 14.20 Moriah
The season 14 finale was certainly one of the more epic finales we have had, and a meta masterpiece penned by showrunner Andrew Dabb. As Dean’s anger and grief following Mary’s death only deepens, and the rift between him and Castiel continues, it is Sam who discovers that all this time, for their entire lives, they have all been nothing more than characters in a world created by a cruel and manipulative writer God. Chuck’s return and reveal as the villain of the entire show came as a shock to many fans who saw him as a beloved fan favourite, but to many others, myself included, this reveal harmonises this entire story and the Winchesters long and traumatic journey and blows my mind at just how perfect it all is. God Was Never On Your Side, and this has always been a show to stress the importance of free will in a Godless world. 
*chef’s kiss*
Bring on Season 15.
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avauntus · 3 years
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Supernatural - a retrospective
This is super self-indulgent, and I have so much else I’ve promised-- I owe a long-fic rec post, and ao3 comments, wip work, and that’s just my fandom stuff I’m behind on. *sigh*
But it’s late on a Saturday and now I’ve finished Supernatural, I want to share what I think are my top few eps, and a few other comments. I promise some of this will be different from the “greatest hits” you probably usually see, and I’ll try to make it worth your time. *wry smile*
Look, we have to have categories like: “Most Likely to Live in My Head Rent-Free for the Rest of my Life” and “Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction” that are different from “Favorites,” because that’s just the cursed energy this show has. ;-)
My top five
#5 - 13.01 - “Lost and Found”
Written by: Andrew Dabb | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia
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In fandom, this is most often referred to as the start of the “Grieving Widower” arc, tongue-in-cheek. Also has Alexander Calvert (Jack) walking around completely in the nude for the first third of the ep. (Neither of these are why this is in my top 5, but he has a good story about wardrobe for his ‘first day.’) 
I didn’t expect much out of this episode the first time I watched it, but I’ve gone over this ‘section’ of the show maybe 3-4 times in my Netflix catch-up, and I watch this one in full every time. From Jack being...not at all what anyone expected and an unsteady vindication, to the stunning cinematography (there’s a post that compares shots to Brokeback Mountain, but I think the shots here might be better), to the sheriff who takes the time to remind her deputy that “...there’s no such thing as ‘weird.’ Everyone’s normal in their own way,” to the slow reveal of exactly how hard the events of the previous night (12x23 - All Along the Watchtower) are hitting Dean and Sam and in different ways...(how long the episode takes to reveal to you how Dean fucked up his hand, and what he was saying when he did. Augh!) The Winchesters are trying to rally, but they have been taking hits for a long time, and the cracks are showing.
 #4 - 15.06 - “Golden Time”
Written by: Meredith Glynn | Directed by: John F. Showalter
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Supernatural  has a terrible track record with representation in all stripes. It is infamously consistent in killing off anyone minority, female, or non-White. One of the interesting things about the chaotic meta-narrative of season 15 is you can see the lack of fucks some of the writer’s room had to give about not even being subtle about tearing down that type of ‘White-male-hero-journey” now that they were in a literal “what will they do, fire me?” situation.
I’m a Cas fan, and this episode, which gives him an actual, ‘case-of-the-week’ hunter’s narrative where he gets to save the day on his own, successfully, was wonderful. I love that for him! But more than that, for me, this episode is emotional to me for other reasons-- the way Dean and Cas circle around each other on their angry phone call (with the body language! They are broadcasting so LOUD and neither can see because they’re on the phone!), Sam’s story here, where he’s inheriting things from Rowena that allow him in turn to save Eileen, to Cas’ speech and quick anger at the lake when you reflect on his entire journey of self-realization from a soldier of blind faith to an agent of free will... “You selfish little men in your positions of authority...” I just... *clears throat, grabs tissue* 
#3 -  6.20 - “The Man Who Would Be King”
Written & Directed by: Ben Edlund
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Speaking of Cas’ journey... I know some folks don’t like the angst and drama of the ‘Heaven and Hell’ plots of Supernatural, but I am here for it. Oh, did we need another reason to include this episode? This has some of the most metal quotes I have heard from any TV show. Ever.
I mean, look at this:
“If I knew then what I know now, I would have said: Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”
“Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.”
The delivery of: “It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!” “Dean, it’s not broken!” is one of those Supernatural bits that will live in my head until the end of time. All of Edlund’s episodes are among my favorites, but this (along with “5.04 - The End”) was on another level. 
#2 - 5.16 - “Dark Side of the Moon”
Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin | Directed by: Jeff Wollnough
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I think of this episode every time  I hear Bob Dylan sing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” This is kinda a giant montage episode, but the connecting concepts are so...satisfying. 
“Heaven is your favorite memories.” “ It’s called the axis mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt.” “This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this was one of the worst nights of my life.” “I don’t think I realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” “It’s awesome to finally have an application—a practical application—for string theory.” “Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?” “Why is God talking to me? Gardner-to-gardener, and between us, I think he gets lonely.” “You son of a bitch, I believed in... ” Whoosh.
#1 - 4.01 - “Lazarus Rising”
Written by: Eric Kripke | Directed by: Kim Manners
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So...this is the episode where Castiel, angel of thee Lord, shows up. And that’s primarily why it earns the no. 1 spot, because 80% of my enjoyment of Supernatural from this point on was Cas-adjacent. Plus this entire episode just hits. ALL OF IT. Dean’s homecoming. Ruby, my darling. Bobby’s entire vibe. Pamela Barnes, easily one of the most interesting women Supernatural ever introduced. Cas being so hot to say “Hi” to Dean he forgets he wounds people. 
But beyond that-- the way the show writes their ‘oh, by the way, angels’ narrative! If you haven’t seen this episode, would you believe me if I told you that THIS EPISODE, the episode where Supernatural said “canonically, Judeo-Christian Heaven is real, btw” involves no churches but does involve a séance, a soulmark handprint brand, and a himbo angel that “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition”...but they were all “no homo, guys” for years?
Truly no one was out here doing it like Supernatural even back in 2008.
Others--
15.18 - “Despair” 
“Most Likely to Live Rent-Free in My Head for the Rest of my Life”
Written by: Robert Berens | Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.
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You know why this episode is here. It broke reality. I could be wrong-- but I’d put good money on this episode being the subject of academic theses in the future. That doesn’t automatically make for interesting story, but...
Has there ever been a case, in a mainstream US TV show where a major lead character (Cas) came out as queer so late in the game in a narratively-important way? I’m not aware of it, but I might just be behind on my television.
This episode has great writing, and (blessedly) amazing direction and blocking anyway. Check out the above gif - that is some next level foreshadowing going on in the cinematography, and this isn’t even the most remarked upon shot in this episode. (Seriously, I had to search for 40 minutes for this gif, please respect my game, lol.) Everyone who was involved in 15x18 is giddy talking about their investment, from the costume designer to the actors to the director to the writer...
...And then a bunch of them steadfastly have avoided posting much Supernatural-related since. So that’s...loud. There is a bunch of subtext in this episode that is screamingly loud; there is a bunch of text in this episode that makes several things clear fandom has been chattering over for years and years. The meta-commentary around this episode continues, months later. There are over 700 fics on AO3 with this episode tag.
I have more to say about the themes of ‘free will’ and ‘love’ and ‘identity’ tied to this episode, but seriously-- you’ve probably read 17 versions of it on Tumblr already, so.
This is the last time we see Cas, and the last time Supernatural can claim anything close to narrative consistency. For that alone, it’d earn free head-space.
Runners-up: “4.20 - The Rapture”; “5.04 - The End”; “7.21 - Reading is Fundamental”; “8.21 - The Great Escapist”; “9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait”; “12.19 - The Future”; “14.08 - Byzantium”
6.17 - “My Heart Will Go On”/8.07 - “A Little Slice of Kevin”
“Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction”
Written by: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (6.17); Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia (6.17); Charlie Carner (8.07)
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Usually the show kills off it’s “one-episode” female characters, but do you know one time it didn’t? When the Moirai (the Fates - specifically Atropos, the shearer of the Threads of Fate) showed up in canon in 6.17. She was posited to have “two older sisters that were bigger than her- in every sense of the word,” ...and Castiel had to back down when she challenged him to a cosmic game of chicken over the Winchester’s lives.
Then they never returned to that idea again. 
“A Little Slice of Kevin” is on here for the opposite reason -- an amazing idea that was really underwritten in the episode it showed up in. Dean Winchester has been dragging himself across the fabric of universes; the literal Word of God is in play in a warehouse in Middle America; Cas is back from Purgatory, but what does that mean, micro and macro? As a person on the street, what would it mean, or feel like, to learn you were a Prophet of the Lord, uncalled? That what you are, everything you are, is a cosmic contingency?
Maybe Fate has an opinion on all these shenanigans?
Perhaps all that doesn’t make sense, but it certainly made an impression on ~2012 me. To this day, it remains the WIP I can open up and fool myself with the ‘twist.’ I wish I remembered where I was going with it so I could finish it.
Runners Up: “2.20 - What Is and What Should Never Be”; “5.04 - The End”; “6.15 - The French Mistake”; 12.12 - “Stuck in the Middle (with you)”; “13.05 - Advanced Thanatology” “14.03 - The Scar”; “14.10 - Nihilism”; “15.15 - Gimme Shelter” ... and “15.20 - Carry On” (obviously)
Fifteen seasons. There were plenty of other episodes I loved that didn’t make these limited lists. But overall -- thank you, Supernatural, for the run. Even if I’m upset at the ending, I can appreciate the game. If you watch the show, what were your favorite episodes?
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