#sorry for my dumb joke but i can't help myself

[yellowocaballero]

I just finished your New Wave fic. I’m convinced everything your write is gold. I loved your TMA fics, with the most heartbreaking demon AU imaginable and the hilarity of Fahrenheit 101. I loved your moon knight fics, starting with Steven talking to animals on the reg at work to the system growing closer with a focus on Jake, i- there’s- it’s sooo much packed into it. When I’m on burnout, of art or writing (maybe life in general at times) I revisit your work and am thrown back into a creative headspace.

You are my favorite writer, you cram so much meaning and thought into your work and it shows. The characters are dumbasses and say the most ridiculous shit and turn around the next chapter and say the most thought provoking thing, and I don’t get whiplash from it because these characters just work! They just do, and I… am very much off track!

Anyways I just got into Batman and reading your fic is fueling that flame! I can’t wait to see what you have in store next, and I shall now stalk your blog for writing tips! I hope you have a nice day broski 💙

Thank you!! This is so sweet thank you so much! This ask is so nice!

Trust me, if there's meaning then it's because I get obsessive over these fics and I massively overthink them. I honestly wish I was better at making simpler, more elegant stories. I feel like nothing I do is truly going to be good until I can find that simplicity.

"Dipshit who says stupid stuff and then turns around and spouts ridiculous philosophy" is just how I talk. But I habitually approach my life from a standpoint of finding humor in everything, if only to soften the blow. I was once told that it's really hard to tell when I'm joking, because everything I say is always half-joking and always half-serious. I feel like that's pretty evident from my narration too...

As for writing advice...um, I was just speaking about this with somebody. When you're plotting a story, the first thing I like to figure out is what I'm trying to say. Everything else should be built around that. The joy of writing is that I think we all have something we want to say, or something we want people to know, or that we have an aspect of ourselves and our lives that we want to express. Most of the time, trying to convey those things verbally just results in a frustrating approximation of your true feelings. I find that when I manage a successful story, the depth and scale of what I'm trying to impart is fully understood and felt. It's rewarding. I think if people aren't understood on some level, by somebody, they kind of die.

Thanks for the sweet ask!!

#dungeon meshi is the peak of storytelling and im not joking #my asks #my writing #(my writing tag is a good place to find my dumb essays!) #i dont consider myself a creative and i barely consider myself a writer #so i professionally have no fucking opinions on art or whatever #also im not sure you can call what i do art in like any meaningful way #but i know a lot of musicians and everything #and so much art is just a person trying to convey something that can't be conveyed through words alone #so much stuff is lost in translation between our brains and our mouths - its like translating english to a foreign language #the meaning can be conveyed but inherently it'll never capture the original meaning exactly in every way #i think art can help you achieve a more perfect translation more than anything else can #you just have to feel like that poor schmuck in j alfred prufrock all the time #'that's not what i meant at all; that is not it - not at all' #JASLKDF sorry for the pretentious tags and also pretentious essay #all i do is write fanfic i dont know shit about this tbh #i just think that idk. there's things in this world that only we know #things that only we can say or understand #and sometimes we have to say them ourselves in our own words #sometimes ppl focus too hard on making their writing sound pretty or correct or 'good' #and they dont focus as much on how pretty writing is a tool to say what youre trying to say more effectively #idk! im sorry for quoting ts eliot some things can't be forgiven etc

[fluffylino]

boypussy!hyunjin pt 3

lollipop lollipop lollipop

-contains mature themes (it starts off smutty and then becomes really fluffy)

"hyunjin what are you doing?"

your eyes trailed down to the boy who was in your lap. the lollipop you were originally eating, not yours anymore.

the boy was hunched over, his legs spread out on the couch, laying flat on his stomach as he took the candy you were holding into his mouth.

his tongue rolling over it. as he took it deep, almost gagging. at first, you were innocently enjoying it when he plopped himself down.

"im tired" he had said. their shoot had ended only an hour back. you hummed, while eating the candy. you were used to him complaining and he loved when you'd listen to him. he lazily lied down beside you. sweetly asking if he could have a taste.

how could you ever say no to those pretty pleading eyes. not to mention the smudged eye makeup he had not wiped off yet.

dark makeup suited him.

unconciously you swiped your thumb against the corner of his lip. where sugary essence had stained his lips. making them extra pink.

"is it that good?" you asked and he looked up at you with sparkly eyes.

"mhm hm"

"yea?" you teased, running your fingers through his hair. he made a sound that almost sounded like he was purring.

he stuck his tongue out, licking the lollipop from the top to the base, gradually going lower. his hands holding onto your thigh, like an actual puppy.

"are you pressing your legs together" you confirmed, noticing how his thighs were quivering. he whined.

"Hyunjin."

he halted his tactics at your tone. this wasn't a time for him to be a brat.

if he really wanted something up his cunt, he'd have to work for it. you'd make him earn it.

"e-empty" he whispered, blushing when you looked down at him.

"the fridge?" you joked, faking a confused look. to which his cheeks grew red.

"n-no"

"then what do you mean?"

"me...i want m-mommy" you laughed softly.

"but mommy is here, im right next to you baby" you teased, heart swelling as he hid his face in his hands. he stayed like that for a few seconds before shaking his head.

"I want you to fuck me damnit"

you jumped at his sudden outburst. frustration in his voice. he pulled away, sitting on his haunches. he knew he made a mistake. this wasn't how he could talk to you. a quiet sorry was what he whispered.

you pitied him. maybe this time you could let it go. have a little fun with him.

"take your pants off and lay on your back"

he shuffled around, shoving his pants off and laying back for you.

you couldn't help but stare right at his pussy. he was...wet? or had he been wet?

"were you needy during the entire shoot?"

embarassingly he nodded, subtly crossing his legs.

"oh my baby, it must've been so uncomfortable"

he nodded again. he loved when you doted on him. made him feel like he was nothing but a dumb dog who'd listen to anything you'd say.

"im giving you two options. can you be a good boy and answer well?"

he shook his head.

"either i fuck you with this lollipop or you can hump my thigh" you stroked his leg, watching how his expression changed.

"i want y-you"

"but this is me, puppy. i'm tired today... will you please let mommy rest-"

"you can rest mommy...but i can't decide"

"does puppy need me to decide for him?"

"yes please" he was so polite.

"how about the lollipop?"

.

hyunjin mewled as you pressed the tip of the bubblegum lollipop against his folds. the pink sugary substance mixing with his wetness. you prodded at his swollen clit. that looked like it was begging for attention.

"baby your pussy is so pink"

you couldn't help but admire it. the colour dripping down. his inner thighs stained with it.

it looked sweet. even sweeter since it was on his pretty cunt.

without much thought, you pushed his legs apart to lick a long strip. both of y'all moaning in unison.

"m-mommyyy no teasing" he mumbled, lips forming into a pout. you wanted to kiss it away.

"sorry puppy...i couldn't control myself"

you were in fact wet and aching.

you slipped the candy between his cunt. the tip rubbing deliciously against his clit. he was good enough to stay still and enjoy it despite being horny.

In times like this you would always put his pleasure before yours. he needed relief.

you nudged it in, watching how his pussy spasmed. so eager-

"w-wait"

you stopped all your actions. worried that you did something wrong. there was a long pause until hyunjin clambered over to you. choosing to sit on your lap. his naked thighs caging you in.

not to mention he was bigger than you, so he covered you whole. but in moments like this, he looked smaller. and cuter than ever.

he cupped your face with his shaky hands, gently pressing his lips against your parted ones.

you felt your heart race. what was he doing? it took you off guard. you wrapped your arms around his waist.

"s-sorry i stopped you..." he apologised, his eyes a bit teary. you felt your heart sink.

"whats wrong? did you not like it"

"no i loved it...i suddenly felt like i just wanted to be close to you. i just want to stick to you" hyunjin mumbled, leaning back in to capture your lips. the taste of cherry still lingering on his lips.

he kissed you like he had not got the chance to for weeks.

slow and so full of love.

you could feel tears forming in your eyes. it had been a long time since the both of you had done something like this.

the lollipop still resting in your hand.

#pls i suddenly felt so soft #like yes i wanna tease him #but at the same time #i wanna love him #and make him feel #like he's the goodest boy #it started off heavy and then turned so fluffy #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz drabbles #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin imagines #hyunjin imagines #boypussy stray kids #boypussy hyunjin #sub!hyunjin #sub!stray kids #bang chan smut #lee know smut #stray kids headcanons #fluffylino works

[ohisms]

↪   ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” .   adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . will be updated !  )

oh my god , why do you have gasoline ?!

we're fine , not that it's any of your concern .

stay out of trouble .

no , you're not coming in with me .

you're embarrassing . you embarrass me . i'm embarrassed of you .

can i bum a smoke , please ?

it's okay , i already have a dollar .

i get the sense that you're in need a lot .

i don't have a problem . you do , otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation .

what do you mean ? you invited me .

i got into yale , that doesn't mean i'm going .

the scales of justice tip in favor of the wealthy .

if we throw enough money at this thing , i'm sure it'll go away .

let's catch up in ten years when you need another loan .

i feel like we got off on the wrong foot .

i want you to come to me with boy problems . or girl problems , i don't assume .

i know you think you're pretty clever with this plan to drink me under the table , but there's two problems ... you're not , .. & you can't .

she's not dead , i can see her breathing .

i cannot count the number of times i've been ripped off a barstool & thrown in a cage .

i should probably get out of the house , yesterday kinda got away from me .

i don't like these people . but i like you .

why are we at a poor person's restaurant ?

don't touch my stuff , psycho .

no , i don't believe you . you're lying .

uh , i don't know , maybe because you're a lying bitch .

okay , look , i understand this stuff is really hard to hear .

let's just keep our voices down , okay ?

you think i care about these idiots ?

what is wrong with you ? you're making a scene .

how's that for a scene ?! dinner & a show !

i know what you're up to , & you're not gonna get away with it .

i'm sorry , you think you're in charge ?

once all this is gone , all that's left is this . & nobody wants just this .

wait , wait , wait ! i'm coming with you !

i will only go if i have your blessing .

if you need anything at all , do not hesitate to call 911 .

[ name ] , my beautiful angel !

i heard about that little accident you had .

so , this is it ! home sweet home .

holy crap , you're alive ...

what are you doing here ? are you living at my place ?

okay , i'm sensing some major hostility here .

i thought you were dead !

don't pay attention to him , he's no one .

— i'm just kidding ! oh , i'm so sorry , your face ...

no ... you're joking — this is a joke , right ?

i'm gonna go freshen up , this'll be fun !

my legs are heavy , but my mind is light ...

wait , why is my window open ?

do i look like i'm playing games ?

we both burnt that bridge , it doesn't matter who lit the match .

i need you to do me a favor , i did you a favor .

oh , thank god you're here . you've gotta help us .

oh , i'm not going anywhere .

what do you want me to do about it ?

knock - knock ... can i come in ?

oh ... i get it . you're jealous .

enough with the guessing games , i'm freaking out over here .

fine . i'll fix this myself .

i thought we agreed i'm the boss ?!

if you saw my silence as agreeing with you , that's on you .

don't take it personally , his heart just isn't for sale .

not now , [ name ] , i'm gloating .

[ name ] ?! since when do you smoke ?

HEY .. !! [ name ] . just the person i wanted to see .

i haven't gone this long without a smoke in years .

either be part of the solution or get the hell out .

well , now i feel like you're lying .

regardless of how we got here , i'm having a really good time .

is it ? is it creepy to be ahead of everybody at all times ?

i want to squeeze you around your neck until you can't breathe .

i said that forever ago when i was young and dumb .

if i were you , i would take this opportunity to lay low .

that's the opposite of what i just suggested .

[ name ] , you've been overruled .

i don't mean to offend you , you don't fit the [ surname ] brand .

it's already happening , we're becoming socially radioactive .

i'm sorry , that night is a blur of bad pinot and intolerable conversation .

oh , so you're a liar too ?

i was sitting at home , and then i remembered you're not my boss .

what's the matter ? little plan didn't work ?

#rp meme #inbox meme #rp sentence starters #inbox prompts #ohisms

[weebsinstash]

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

#yandere miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #yandere x reader #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts

[rosevette]

·.༄࿔ TAKE ME TO PARIS part 2. my mlist

𝒋𝒐𝒉𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒄𝒌 & 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

💋ྀིྀི résumé : the gifts won’t stop, along with john’s paranoia. he won’t even let you out of the hotel.

1.6k words + tags : dumb, ‘naive’ !reader, manipulation, fantasizing, smut, age gap, pet names, fingering, slight non-con, evil intent, brat-taming⭑

୭ৎ … im so sorry yall had to wait so long for this, but im finally finished !! more chapters to come, and I hope you enjoy…if there are any error, ignore! (part 1 here) - sincerely, rose

DAYS PASSED, and John's concern only seemed to intensify. He hovered nearby constantly, his watchful gaze never leaving your side, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. The gifts from Marquis didn’t stop either, a jewelry a day.

At first, you found John’s behavior endearing, a testament to his unwavering dedication to keeping you safe. But as time wore on, his constant vigilance began to chafe, leaving you feeling suffocated by his overbearing presence.

"I'm just going for a walk, John," you protested, attempting to slip past him as he stood guard by the hotel entrance.

His grip tightened on your arm, his eyes flashing with undisguised worry. "I can't let you out of my sight, not with him out there," he insisted, his tone firm and resolute.

Frustration bubbled up inside you as you shook off his hold, refusing to be caged like some delicate bird.

"I'm not a child, John. I can take care of myself," you snapped, storming towards the door, before the brooding man stopped you and held his position in front of the door.

“I said no.”

His voice was cold, you were getting on his nerves. Paranoid or not, he couldn’t let you go outside.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, my patience has already been thrown out the window.” He glared at you, you could tell he wasn’t joking, but you just can’t help but to talk back.

“You’re such a brute. You can’t keep me here fore—“ You widened your eyes, feeling a hand read gently on your mouth. Fluttering your eyelashes to John’s gaze, your face flushed, your eyebrows narrowing.

“Stop being a brat.” He murmured, his words slipping smoothly through his lips.

Before you knew it, his body already pressed against yours firmly, his weight leaning you against the flat surface of the wall, secluded in your room.

“I’m just looking out for you, is that so hard to understand?”

As John pressed you against the decorative wallpaper, his firm grip sending shivers down your spine, you couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. His proximity ignited a fire within you, stirring desires that had long lain dormant.

With a defiant smirk, you met his intense gaze head-on, the heat of his breath mingling with yours as you leaned in closer, the tension crackling between you like electricity.

"You're not my keeper, John," you countered, your voice laced with equal parts defiance and desire. "I can take care of myself."

But before you could utter another word, John's lips crashed against yours, his kiss fierce and demanding, leaving you breathless and dizzy with longing. His hands roamed your body with a possessive urgency, igniting a fierce hunger deep within your core.

“Do you understand what no means?” He leaned back, scoffing at your flushed state. Now turning your body around to face him, his eyes trailed your body top to bottom, your heart pacing, knowing what was next.

With a gasp, you melted into him, your resistance crumbling beneath the weight of his passion. Every touch, every caress sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, building to a fever pitch that threatened to consume you whole.

It didn’t take long until you felt his hands start to trail up your silk dress, his hand could be seen rubbing along your thighs through the thin fabric. Each whimper you gave was met with a smirk from John, only fueling his ego.

“Seems like this brat is already so wet for me. Is this what you wanted? To push my buttons to end up like this?”

Your breath hitched as John’s hands explored the curves of your body, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you with every teasing touch. His words, though laced with arrogance, only served to stoke the flames of your desire, igniting a primal need that begged to be sated.

With a low whimper, you arched into his touch, unable to deny the intoxicating effect he had on you. “N-No I didn’t mean to I…,” you murmured, your voice dripping with seduction as you trailed your fingers along the contours of his chest.

The tension between you crackled with raw intensity, each touch, each whispered word fueling the inferno of passion that raged between you. Lost in the heat of the moment, his fingers eventually met contact with your wet folds, a moan slipping past your lips.

“J-John..” you croaked, squinting.

“I told you there would be punishments for your behavior.” You couldn’t even reply back in time when he had slipped a finger inside your wet hole, gasping into the air. A few pumps from his digits already made you a moaning mess.

Your words caught in your throat as John’s touch sent waves of pleasure crashing over you, rendering you speechless as ecstasy washed over you in dizzying waves. His fingers, skilled and knowing, delved deeper into your core, igniting a firestorm of desire that threatened to consume you whole.

Every pump, every stroke sent you spiraling closer to the edge, your moans echoing in the air as you surrendered yourself to the overwhelming pleasure that John bestowed upon you. His touch was like a drug, intoxicating and addictive, leaving you craving more with each passing moment.

He smirked, eventually pulling his fingers away to bring to his mouth, tasting you. You widened your eyes, wondering why he stopped as jaw hung open, your poor cunt soaked and wanting more.

John’s smirk only deepened as he savored the taste of your arousal on his fingers, his gaze locked with yours as he drank in your reaction with undisguised satisfaction. Your widened eyes and parted lips spoke volumes, your confusion and desire swirling together in a heady mix that only fueled his own arousal.

“Such a sweet little thing,” he murmured, his voice dripping with sinful promise as he leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear. “You want more, don’t you?” He laughed wickedly. This was your punishment. He wasn’t going to continue, he was going to make you wait for it.

He scoffed, leaving you breathless and aching for more as he reveled in the power he held over you. Your body throbbed with need, every nerve on edge as you craved his touch like a drug.

“Clean yourself up, darling,” he said casually, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just transpired between you.

Confusion and frustration warred within you as you struggled to make sense of his abrupt change in demeanor. Had it all been a game to him? A cruel joke at your expense?

With trembling hands, you gathered your wits about you, forcing yourself to stand on shaky legs as you attempted to compose yourself. But the memory of his touch lingered like a fever dream, leaving you reeling in its wake.

Now stepping out of the steaming shower, you sighed to yourself, thinking back to John’s advances just an hour ago. You should’ve known he had a trick up his sleeve just to toy with you.

Before you could dwell on the thought any longer, your phone rang, startling you out of your reverie. Glancing at the caller ID, you frowned in confusion at the unfamiliar number. Hesitantly, you answered, bringing the phone to your ear.

"Bonjour, ma chérie," a smooth voice purred from the other end, sending a chill down your spine.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Recognition dawned on you as you realized who was calling. "Marquis," you greeted evenly, masking the tremor in your voice. “How did you find my number…”

"Ah, I know a guy," he replied, his voice dripping with honeyed charm. "Tell me, have you been enjoying my little gifts?"

Your heart pounded in your chest as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I appreciate the gesture," you replied tersely, forcing a note of indifference into your tone.

Deep down, you weren’t scared or threatened that the man called you, in fact, you welcomed it. Perhaps you could use this as payback for John?

The Marquis's laughter echoed in your ears, he had noticed your tone of voice . "Oh, ma chérie, you wound me," he purred. "But tell me, have you left Paris? I haven’t seen you anywhere…”

Yeah, thanks to John. You thought in your head.

“I simply admire beautiful things, and you, my dear, are the most exquisite masterpiece of them all. A shame I haven’t seen you since the auction.

Despite the danger and warning bells ringing in your mind, a rebellious spark ignited within you at the Marquis’s words. You couldn’t deny the thrill that coursed through you at the thought of defying John, of embracing the danger that lurked just beyond the shadows.

As the Marquis’s laughter echoed in your ears, you felt a surge of defiance welling up inside you.

“I’m still here, Marquis,” you replied, your voice laced with a hint of mischief. “And I must say, your absence hasn’t gone unnoticed either.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by a low chuckle that sent a shiver down your spine. “Ah, so you’re still playing games, ma chérie,” he murmured, his voice tinged with amusement. “I must say, I do admire your spirit.”

The Marquis’s laughter filled the air once more, a sound that sent a thrill of anticipation racing through your veins. “Well then, my dear,” he purred. “Let’s see just how far that taste for danger will take you.”

the end ! part 3 in progress…

© rosevette 2024 . do not copy !

#keanu reeves #john wick #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard x reader #john wick 4 #keanu x reader #marquis de gramont #Marquis x reader #John wick x reader #John wick imagines #Marquis de Gramont imagines #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard fanfiction #John wick 4 imagines #John wick 4 ff #keanu reeves ff

[bigwishes]

So I’m a kinda skinny guy, try going to the gym often to keep my six pack, and there’s this guy at the gym that’s hot as hell. Sweaty, musky, bulky. Big pecs, arms, every muscle is just huge. He never looks my way though, I wish I could impress him, could you help?

he never looks your way? not from what I've heard mate, from what I hear he's be trying to find a way to ask you out for a while, he even wished for things to go smoothly so I guess things seem to be working.

You were surprised when the big hulking goliath came over and sheepishly asked you out on a date, without even a moment to think about it you jumped at the chance.

Later that night he picked you up in his black car, it was cheap and sounded like it needed a service but you weren't gonna complain about some guys car. Once you got in he sheepishly said hello, he was acting like this was his first date and you could practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. You noticed he was in workout gear whilst you were in a nice shirt and jeans.

"s-sorry I'm underdressed bro, my jeans don't fit no more"

You laughed at what you thought was a joke but there was something else behind the serious tone of his voice that had you worried. Something else, his car was a mess inside and he stunk. Sure the musky sweat was hot in the gym but when you saw sweat pouring from his pits like a waterfall and saw big sweat marks from where his hands touched his steering wheel whenever he lifted them off.

Soon you pulled up in the carpark of a junk food place. All your excitement for this date completely died off, It wasn't the gym wear that was a turn off, a guy that big clearly wants to show off, but he didn't even shower after the gym? and now junk food as a first date, not even junk food looking at the sunset on the beach or something outdoors, just junk food in the parking lot of the place. You and your nose had had enough, you were already to go home but you felt sorry for him. He was clearly shy and embarrassed, you thought it best not to make a fuss and just not call him back after the date.

The two of you had dinner in his car, You watched him practically inhale 3 deluxe family meals, 3 thick shakes and a hand full of burgers, after which he sat flexing his biceps in his rear view mirror whilst burping. He drove you home and right as you were ready to leave the car the big guy thanked you for giving him a chance, "sorry it was just take out for dinner bro, can't really get into fancy places, look I know I stink and I'm a bit muscle obsessed when I see myself in the mirror but...do you mind if I kiss you bro?"

After the worst date of your life a moment of weakness hit your heart as this giant looked down hanging his head in shame. You leant forward to give him a kiss, when he kissed you he let out a small burp that bypassed your lips, his hot breath flew straight down into your lungs. You leant back feeling like the air was flooding out of your chest to other parts of your body. Your arms ballooned out, your legs tore your jeans to shreads. You felt you underwear start to get caught up in your growing ass. Suddenly you began to sweat like a pig and you smelt a wave of B.O twice as bad as the guy sitting next to you flow out from your skin. You felt you seat grow damp and squelch beneath your now hulking frame as you shot up a foot and a half feeling your head collide with the roof of the car. You continued to change as you heard the giant speak.

"Sorry bro, I made 1 wish, a few months ago, I was dumb and horny and asked some guy to turn me into a muscle slob online, I didn't think I'd really become one. Turns out its really hard to hold down a job or a boyfriend when all you care about is size and your own B.O"

You felt your head fill with blood, you could barely remember where you were or what was going on, it was almost impossible to focus on his last words.

"at least this way we both get what we want out of it"

You head was suddenly re-written, you remember your life, and your old life was like a dream, like something that happened...but never really happened. You remember graduating highschool, but also remember flunking out, too obsessed with the gym? your head was filled with multiple memories and you didn't know what was truely yours. You turned your head to look at the guy who was now slightly shorter than you.

"eeeer?? were you sayin somthin babe? I like totally brain fogged huhu, you thanks for picking me up, lets go get take out"

With just one kiss from the guy you wanted so badly to notice you, you were erased and replaced with a new you, a stinking meat head version of yourself totally and utterly in love with the guy next to you.

#male transformation #muscle #muscle transformation #male tf #gay transformation #tf story #reality change #transformation #musk

[iliveinyourceiling65]

HoO inccorect quotes

Part 1 probably :)

Leo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?  Jason: Oh, I’m always running  Jason: The question is from what

Leo: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Piper: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Leo: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Frank: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Leo: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Jason please come to the front desk? Jason, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Piper and Leo Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Piper and Leo, simultaneously: We got lost :( Jason: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Annabeth: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Frank: *turning to Leo* How tall are you

Annabeth: Dammit, Percy! Percy: What?! It wasn’t me! Annabeth: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Leo! Leo: Not me either. Annabeth: Oh...Then who set the boat on fire? Hazel: *whistles*

Percy: Is stabbing someone immoral?  Annabeth: Not if they consent to it.  Nico: Depends who you’re stabbing.  Jason: YES?!?

Percy: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Annabeth: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Frank: I recorded the dumb stuff. Leo: I joined in on the dumb stuff. Jason: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Jason: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Piper: ... Your what? Jason: My friends. Leo: is he saying “friends”? Hazel: I think he’sbeing sarcastic. Nico: No, no, no, this is delirium, he’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Jason! All of your friends are in this room. Jason: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Percy: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?  Annabeth: Have everyone stand.  Frank: Bring three more chairs!  Jason: The most important ones can sit down.  Nico: Kill three.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #piper mclean #jason grace #frank zhang #hazel levesque #leo valdez #nico di angelo #pjo incorrect quotes #hoo incorrect quotes

[wing-dingy]

Remember when I said I wasn't gonna post fanfics? I lied. I'm gonna post just this one as an excuse to have some Johnshi in my life but also because its rare I write a fic that isnt a self indulgent oc fic

This is just a lil fic where Kenshi comforts Johnny after a stunt on set leaves him with an injured ankle, mostly cute banter. Also sorry if the formatting looks weird, i dont normally post fics to tumblr so idk how to space my paragraphs like I do on google docs.

Click. Step. Click. Step.

The Hollywood actor carried himself on his crutches across the room, from the door to his living room couch, where he saw Kenshi waiting in anticipation.

“Honey, I'm home,” Johnny announced in a parody of those old movies, how he loved his dumb movie references.

“Doesn't sound like good news. Are those crutches?” Kenshi asked, judging by the sound and the patterns of the sound. Though he usually relied on Sento for sight, he hardly ever felt the need to in a casual setting, so it rested in the mantle above the fireplace.

“Yeup. Doc says I'll need ‘em for a few weeks, a month at most.”

Kenshi crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. “Was that stunt still worth it?”

Johnny snorted, “Totally, the shot came out perfect! You may not know this, but I do all of my own stunts. Impresses everybody when I tell them that!” He dropped a small paper bag of his prescribed painkillers on the coffee table and sat next to Kenshi, wincing as he lifted his ankle to rest it on the same table.

“Aren't stuntmen used so the real actors don't get hurt?”

“I mean- yeah. But don't worry, they're just gonna film everything else until I come back, which should be in no time. I'm just built different.”

Kenshi could just hear the cocky smile, causing him to shake his head in disbelief, but he couldn't hold back the small bit of laughter at Johnny’s pride and confidence. “Alright, but it looks like it's my turn to take care of you again.”

“Don't sweat it, Ken doll, I can take care of myself. You've already helped me enough, and you've got yourself to look after,” He noted all too seriously. Obviously there still rested some guilt in his heart over Mileena's rabid attack that day.

“That ankle needs to rest. That movie needs you and you need the money from it.” Undeniable. Johnny was still getting back on his feet (not literally now) after a messy and expensive divorce, he needed whatever work he could get at the moment. “You just let me know when you need something.”

Johnny sighed as he looked down at his injured ankle. These next few weeks were going to be the most boring while of his life.

Kenshi seemed to know Johnny wasn't feeling so good by the sudden quietness, not even a silly request from his offer. When Johnny of all people was quiet, there was a problem. “Johnny? You alright?”

“Yeah… I've just never been good at sitting still and doing nothing, you know? Now I can't even use my own pool in my living room,” He complained, as if having a pool in the living room was a normal thing.

“Come on, Johnny, you still have a whole mansion. Unless your attention span really is that small, you're not gonna get bored,” Kenshi lovingly poked at him. “It’s not like you're alone either.”

Johnny noded with a small smile of comfort. “That's right, I've got you, my best friend, boyfriend, and assigned FBI agent,” Johnny joked. Gods, not again with the assigned FBI agent meme. “And hey, maybe we can invite Kung Lao and Raiden over to hang out. You think Liu Kang would wanna drop by?”

Kenshi gave an amused smirk. “Probably not, but Kung Lao, might.”

Johnny looked down at the table again, spotting a marker. He groaned and wheezed as he leaned over to grab it, trying not to move his ankle off the table as his finger tips barely touched the marker.

“Johnny what are you-” Before he could finish his question, he felt a marker tapping against his hand.

“You wanna be the first to sign my cast?” Johnny offered, trying to play it off cool but his excitement was slipping past in his voice.

“You mean Hollywood’s megastar wants my autograph?” Kenshi teased. He took the marker into his hand, and Johnny guided his hand down to his cast. Confidently, Kenshi began writing his name.

“Not bad writing for someone who can't really see,” Johnny complimented, meaning it obviously and trying to make it sound like that rather than a mockery.

“I still know the motions of writing, that's enough to get by.” Of course Johnny hadn't seen Kenshi's messier writing at his job and maybe it should stay that way.

The real surprise was the small heart he drew right below his own name. Kenshi wasn't so into PDA, nor into cutesy stuff like that, so it caught Johnny off guard to see the small display. It wasn't like people didn't know they were dating, Johnny was way too into showing off their love and too loud to keep that secret, but it was rather that Kenshi was a more subtle lover when it came to their relationship, preferring to keep things behind doors. Still, it was a nice surprise, and at least now it made the cast way better to look at! Of course Johnny was already pulling out his phone to snap a photo of it to post to his socials.

“You're posting your cast, aren't you?” Kenshi reasonably accused.

“Gotta let the fans know production might be on hold.”

“Is that it? Or are you bragging about us again?”

Johnny snickered, meaning Kenshi was right. “Okay, you got me, but how can I not show you off? You're the coolest! A blind swordsman? Dating Hollywood's biggest hit? We're like a power couple!”

If Kenshi still had his eyeballs, he'd be lovingly rolling them, but admittedly it was kind of cute seeing how enthusiastic Johnny was about their relationship- and kind of funny to think about considering they were previously rivals over Sento.

Kenshi leaned in to press a kiss to Johnny's cheek, and he could feel the wrinkles of a smile under his lips. “Looks like you're feeling better about that ankle.”

“As long as I have you by my side, this injury is gonna be a breeze!” Now it was Johnny's turn to lean in, this time leaning to rest his head on Kenshi with closed eyes and a content smile. Kenshi reciprocated by wrapping an arm around Johnny to hold him. “Shit, that medicine they gave me is starting to catch up.”

“You get sleepy off of a couple Tylenols,” Kenshi playfully quipped, making Johnny laugh.

“Just saying it's a good excuse to nap on you! Unless you're gonna tele-fling me to bed again.”

Kenshi shook his head. “Maybe when your ankle isn't as broken. Right here is fine, just keep your ankle up.”

“Sweet,” Johnny happily murmured as he felt himself starting to doze off. Damn, Tylenol really did knock him out.

#mortal kombat #kenshi takahashi #johnny cage #johnshi #[sweating] im so nervous about posting this hfnckf

[candyheartedchy]

Just a little snippet from my CoralBob wip fic because it’s cute and I wanted to share something from it so far.

Sitting side by side, a little yellow sponge and purple sea monster were on their third bowl of triple goober berry sunrises. Their laughter filled the air as the bartender kept glancing over in dread while cleaning a glass.

"Okay, ready?"

"Ready."

Sticking out his tongue a bit, SpongeBob tired to balance a cherry upon his nose as Coraline did the same on her snout. This was quickly followed up by an angry shout of defeat by the sea monster as a cherry fell onto the floor.

"I guess I won." SpongeBob said.

"I bet you can't do it with a spoon."

Turning around smugly, the sponge smiled over with his spoon now balancing straight up on his nose.

"Amazing."

SpongeBob laughs.

Digging into their ice creams, the pair had soon found themselves becoming quiet.

"SpongeBob?"

Taking in a spoonful, the sponge turned, "Hm?"

"Do you think it’s safe to go behind our bosses backs?”

“Why not?”

“Aren’t you worried about getting fired?”

SpongeBob swallows before putting his spoon down, “Well, maybe a little… but what about you? Aren’t you worried about getting fired?”

“Yeah, but I can always find a new job… somewhere… You love your job though, and how much it means to you. I just worried this will all blow up in our faces.”

SpongeBob brows narrowed a little, “So, do you not want to hang out anymore or-"

“NO! I DO!” Coraline shouted before pulling back, embarrassed by her sudden outburst, “I just… I don’t want to be the reason you lose your job.”

“It’ll be fine, Coraline.” he smiled.

“I hope so.” she signs, “I already feel like I’m gonna mess this up.”

SpongeBob grew quiet, looking away with a troubled expression. The two didn't speak for a few seconds until the sponge finally did.

"Well," he paused, tapping his fingers along the table as he sat there, "They say sponges are great for cleaning up messes." SpongeBob smiled sheepishly over, causing Coraline to laugh softly at this.

"I do want to thank you though."

"For what?"

"For always being kind to me. Even through I’m a monster.”

"Are we speaking literally or figuratively?"

"Both?" Coraline sighs, running her fingers through her short hair, "I mean, I know I'm a monster. It's who I am. I just... don't want to be treated like one, you know?”

“Or like how everyone treats me like a kid…” SpongeBob breathed.

Coralline frowned, “How come you let people walk all over you all the time?"

“People don’t walk all over me?”

“SpongeBob, I literally saw Mr. Krabs use you as a ramp the other day.”

“The floorboards were broken.” SpongeBob stated before Coraline grabbed his shoulders.

“SpongeBob, please, I’m being serious… You need to stand up for yourself more.”

“I do stand up for myself.”

“But you always brush it off!” Coraline then glance away, shy now, “I hate seeing you treated like your dumb. Like sure you’re more…” she paused, “whimsical than others your age, but that’s your charm.”

“Charm?”

“Yeah.” Coraline then blushed, “It’s cute.”

SpongeBob pointed his spoon at the sea monster, "If you think flattery will help your chances at getting the secret formula from me, think again.“ he teased before Coraline started to panic.

“What? No! I’m not trying to get to formula-” she explained before feeling a soft hand rest on her’s.

“Coraline, I was joking.”

“Oh.”

“You worry too much.”

“Sorry.”

SpongeBob couldn’t help but stare at the sea monster, smitten as he watched her turn a deep shade of purple in her cheeks, making her more shy before catching himself.

“We better get going before it’s gets too late. Those patties aren’t gonna flip themselves tomorrow.” the sponge laughs awkwardly.

Watching him, Coraline soon followed after before noticing the sponge wobbling a bit before she rushed over to catch him from bumping into a chair.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, this always happens when I eat a few triple goober berry sunrises.” the sponge smiled up, drunk before placing an hand on the sea monster’s cheek, patting it, “It’s fine.”

Blushing from the touch, Coraline laughs lightly before tucking the sponge under her arm, heading out the door, “C’mon, let’s get you home.

The bartender watching the pair leave as he exhaled, wiping his brow.

#not the best but I like writing their dynamic and hopefully I can share more of it soon! #📝 my writing 📝 #might need to change my writing tag… #❤️ coralbob ❤️ #💬 chy chatter 💬 #intoxication mention #intoxication tw #just in case

[women-are-hot]

Can we please have a second part of No One’s Fault where its angsty and reader gets herself injured/in a dangerous situation and Alexia can’t get a hold of her and feels guilty

Definitely my fault

Note: i've finally wrote part 2. sorry for how long it took. i hope it was worth the wait even if i aren’t that proud of it.

Warnings: i still can't spanish, hospital, car accident, angst, sadness, fluff, panicking

Click here for part 1 (no one's fault)

—

Everyone watched as you walked out of the locker room, slamming the door hard.

A silence filled the room between the Barcelona players.

“You should probably go get her,” Mapi said to her captain and best friend.

“What? Why?” Alexia asked, still not over the weird and uncomfortable situation.

She never wanted to hurt your feelings, but it somehow got too much for both her and you.

“She’s you wife, so quit asking that stupid question. We need her on the team, so go tell her you are sorry and that she is playing the next game!” Mapi answered as she was raising her voice, annoyed that she was treating probably the nicest person on the team that badly.

“Vale” (Fine) Alexia said and walked out of the door you had run out a few minutes earlier.

—

“Y/N?” yelled around the building, but she couldn’t find you.

“Dónde está ella?” (Where is she?) Alexia mumbled to herself.

Alexia then took her phone from her bag and tried to call you multiple times.

Alexia groaned in annoyances. Why aren’t you answering your phone?

Then the coach and a few other staff members came running out of a room.

“Why are you all running?” Alexia asked, still trying to call you.

“Y/n have been in an accident” Jonatan answered.

“Accident? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know exactly what happened. I just know that Y/n have been in a car accident and is on her way to the hospital, so that’s why we have to check up on her” y

Alexia was very overwhelmed with all the information she just had got.

You got in a car accident? 

Alexia began feeling really bad. 

It’s her fault. If she hadn’t been so mean and yelled at you, maybe you would have still been in the locker room, laughing and joking around with the others, being the normal, kind and lovely you!

It’s all her fault!

“You should go with them. She probably needs you” Jonatan said, not knowing what Alexia just had yelled at you.

Alexia just nodded, too stunned to speak.

“Then go with them now. They’ve leaving in 2 minutes” Jonatan explained and that made Alexia quickly run after the staff members.

—

As Alexia and the staff members made their way to the hospital, Alexia had never ever felt more bad in her life.

She sat with her head in her hands, afraid that she would break down looking at the others in the car.

It’s all her fault… If she haven’t been so stupid and dumb, you wouldn’t have been in the hospital right now. 

Alexia could feel a tear slipping down her cheek, but she quickly whipped it away.

—

When they finally after too long driving time for Alexia’s liking where at the hospital, Alexia was the first one out of the car and she didn’t wait for the others.

She had to see you!..

She ran into the hospital, looking for a nurse that could show her where you were.

“Hola,” Alexia said, walking over to an older lady.

“Hola. Need any help?” 

“Sí. Do you know where Y/n Y/l is?” Alexia asked.

“Let me quickly check” the lady answered and went behind a computer, searching for you name.

“Follow me”

—

The nurse had now found your room for Alexia.

“Y/n Y/l is here. I think she’s sleeping, but otherwise should be okay” 

“Gracias” Alexia thanked the lady and opened the door, to find you sleeping.

Alexia let out a deep breath that she didn’t even know she had held in.

She sat down on a chair beside you and took your hand.

“Lo siento” (I’m sorry) Alexia quickly said as she broke down.

She could never forgive herself, so how could you forgive her?

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you. Of course I wasn’t your fucking fault. I was just so disappointed and mad at myself. Then I took it out on you and now you’re here and it’s all my fucking fault” Alexia rambled as she laid her head against your hand, giving it a soft kiss.

“It’s all my fault”

“No it’s not” a voice said and Alexia’s teary eyes met yours.

 Alexia leaned forward, laying her head on your shoulder.

“Lo siento!..”

“It’s okay Ale” you said in your sleepy voice.

“But it’s my fault you’re here!”

“Ale-”

“If I hadn’t yelled at you and been such an idiot, you would be here. Of course it’s my-”

You then laid your lips against hers to shut her up.

“If you say it’s your fault one more time, I’m telling everyone your celebrity crush is Wonder Woman” you said with a smirk which made Alexia laugh for the first time in a while.

“I’m still sorry tho” Alexia whispered and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay, alright!? I’m okay” you convinced her.

Alexia took a deep sigh, just looking into your eyes.

“You’re too good for me,” Alexia murmured.

“Says the best football player and hottest woman in the world” you responded and made Alexia blush slightly.

“Come lay with me” 

“I don’t want to hurt you”

“You’ll hurt me more if you won’t lay with me” you said with a pout that you knew Alexia couldn’t resist.

“Fine. Come here” Alexia replied, opening her arms for you to jump into her.

The two of you then laid down on the hospital bed together.

“I love you,” you mumbled.

Alexia pressed a quick peck to your lips.

“Yo también te quiero-” (I love you too) Alexia said and was interrupted when she saw the staff members coming into the room.

“Uhm, we’ll just go…”

—

#alexia putellas imagines #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #espwnt imagine #espwnt imagines #espwnt x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #woso #gxg

[juanarc-thethird]

The Queen of the Grimm can't be this cute Part 3

Salem: You warriors fought well. For that alone, allow me the honor of learning your names. What's your name boy?

Jaune: Dragon...

Salem: Dragon... what?

Jaune smiles

Jaune: Dragon dees nuts over your-

-----------

Ruby: And so, my friends and I, we saved the world from Salem.

Random stranger: Wow, I still can't believe that with a dumb joke you guys saved the world.

Nora: Is because that didn't happen.

Random stranger: What?! But you guys beat her! So was that Deez Nuts joke a lie?!

Ruby: Well...

Nora: Oh, not quite. Some nuts sure did help. Right, Ruby?~ *Smug*

Random stranger: What does she mean by that, hero?

Ruby: Nothing! Is nothing at all!

Random stranger: Okay? And what happened to your friend Jaune? Did he return home or is he on another mission?

Ruby: Well….

Nora: He's busy stuffing a-!

Ruby: NORA!!!!

Meanwhile inside Salem's chambers in the castle.

Salem: Oh yes!!! Take me you brute!!! Fill me up with your babies!!!!

Jaune: Oh FUcK!!

Outside.

Cinder: I can't believe she's sleeping with the enemy!

Neo: "I don't mind🙂"

Emerald: Me too. Ever since he arrived, she's been in such a good mood that we don't have to worry about her killing us.

Neo: "Yeah!😆"

Cinder: You girls don't get it! This is a trap to take power so they can finish us off once and for all!

Neo: "You're just mad because you wanted to fuck him first😒"

Cinder: *Blushing* N-Noo!!

Emerald: You're right, the other time I found cinder saying his name while she was touching her-

Cinder: STOP! I would never sleep with a weakling like him!

Neo: "Really?🤔 Then you don't care to know that Salem is looking for someone to fuck her new husband."

Cinder: What did you say?

Neo: That she is looking for someone who can fuck her husband. Right Em?😏

Emerald: *Confuse* What?

Neo: "You know, that she is already very old and cannot keep up with her husband"

Emerald: What are you- *Gets elbows by her* Ouch! Ok I get it! Yes she said that.

Neo: "You see😉"

Cinder: She is looking for someone?… *Her nose starts bleeding*

Emerald: *Quietly* What are you planning?

Neo: "Just watch😈"

Cinder: Yes….Yes…. YES!! This is perfect! By taking this opportunity I can approach him and fu-I mean!! expose his plan once and for all. It's brilliant!!

Neo: "You're amazing Cinder.🤩 You know what, you should tell Salem right now. She'd love it.😁"

Cinder: Of course, I'll tell her right now!

Without wasting any time, Cinder walks over to the door of Salem's room and slams it open. Emerald tries to stop her but she fails.

Emerald: Cinder wait!!!

*BAM!*

Cinder: My mistress, I want to offer myself as a tribute!!!

In front of her was Jaune lying on the bed holding Salem's waist, while she was sitting on his pelvis, both of them naked and surprised by Cinder's unexpected entrance.

Salem: *Covers herself* Cinder, what the hell are you doing here?!!

Cinder: I came to offer myself as a tribute!

Salem: *Confuse* Tribute? Tribute for what?

Cinder: For me to fuck your husband!

Salem: Excuse me?!!

Cinder: You said you were too old for you to keep up with him. So I'm here to help you, my mistress. *bows*

Salem: How dare you.

Cinder: Huh?

Salem: How dare you call me old! Get out!!

Salem makes some tentacles appear from the ground. They grab Cinder and throw her out of the room and into the hall, closing the door behind them. In the hallways, the girls just watch as Cinder is thrown into the wall like a rag doll.

Neo: "🤣🤣🤣"

Emerald: *Disappointed* Oh my god...

Inside the room

Salem: God, where did she get that ridiculous idea?

At that moment she feels something growing inside her.

Salem: Oh my! Did...Did you just get bigger?

Jaune: Sorry, it's just that you look very hot when you get angry.

Salem: *She takes his hands* I see~ So you like seeing me angry, huh?~

Jaune: *Nervous* Y-Yes

She yanks Jaune's arms out on either side of the bed.

Salem: Then let me show you how mad I can get~ *Kiss him*

Jaune: 💕!~

#jaune #rwby jaune arc #rwby jaune #jaune arc #Salem #rwby salem #jaune x salem #rwby jaune x salem #jaune arc x salem #rwby jaune arc x salem #rwby ruby #rwby ruby rose #ruby rose #rwby neopolitan #rwby neo #rwby emerald sustrai #emerald sustrai #rwby emerald #nora valkyrie #rwby nora #rwby nora valkyrie #rwby #rwby smut #The Queen of the Grim can't be this cute

[elryuse]

Yandere Dom Jessica jung x malereader

Please ps love your yandere stories

Hurt.

"Y/n.... I'm so tired of this.. I'm tired of us. I'm starting to think that I fell out of love for you.. I'm sorry".

"N-noona you're joking right"?

"I'm afraid not".

"B-but why? I've always loved you.. And I always cared for you Noona".

"Still I don't have any feeling for you... I'm sorry Y/n...let's break up".

*Timeskip*

After about a year since I've breaken up with Jessica. Everything around me become so boring and dull, as if the only color that I could see is only black and white. But after some time, I realized that this was not my fault. She's the one that didn't want me... So why do I need so much time to grief the pain as if I can't found someone else.

Ath that point, I started to move on with my life. I started to work seriously.. Started doing better at my mental health and not long, I feel like I've become a new person. I feel like all the weight that I used to carry was now gone. That is until..

"Omg Y/n is that you"?

"J-jessica"?

"Omo it's really you... *hug* I missed you so much".

"N-noona what are you doing here".

"I was looking for you all around the world".

"H-huh"?

"Ever since that day... I realized that I was fucking dumb. I realized that the only person who loved me and understand me the most was you... I realized that the man that I desperately need all along was you".

"Hmm... Look Noona... I don't to make it look harsh... But I'm good right now. I've move on you know.. And I think you should too".

"H-huh"?

"It was not hard letting you go. But at that moment I realized something important. I don't really need you to feel like I'm important. I realized that I can help myself to reach my own goal and potential. Becoming something important to my own life. So sorry but I decline".

"..... ".

".... Alright I'm leaving".

"No. *grabs your arm* Dead or alive you're stil coming back to me... ".

"Huh no stop.. Hey".

"Shhhh *drugged you* sleep now... Baby... ".

*Timeskip*

"Are you awake now Y/n".

"Hmmphh hmplhh".

"Oh wait let me help you remove that".

".... HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND NOONA... WHERE AM I... WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME".

"Jeez relax, I haven't done anything to you yet".

"Y-yet"?

"Just relax and think of this as our honeymoon".

"WTF. Hell no... Stop this right now or I'm calling the police".

"How"?

"H-huh".

"Do you even know where we are"?

"N-no".

"You're in my private island dumbass. There is no such thing as police in here. And besides there is no goddamn signal here, you're on your own sweetheart".

"N-no no no".

"Don't worry..... I'll take a good care of you... And we'll soon have plenty of babies... Heheh".

"Noooo".

In the end, Jessica decided to drug you and raped you multiple time. You tried resisting the medicine. But the drug was to powerful, it altered you're consciousness. And not long, you have shoot plenty of you're seed, enough to breed Jessica.

Not long she's pregnant with your baby. And she never stopped loving you... Even though you tried running away... She'll always found a way... Cause in this place. Everything is a playground for her... She can do anything she wants. And there's nothing you can do about it.

#jessica jung #snsd #kpop #kpop x y/n #kpop x male reader #yandere #drug #mind altering #mind break #crazy love #heartbreak

[tomurasmoleunderhislip]

~League of villains members as things I said/done/whatever~

Y'all will think I'm messed up but oh well

Tomura: "yawned whole time and ate chips in front of psychologist while sitting next to best friend that was low key nervous and anxious (I was with best friend for support @wholelottawidows thas you dawg 💀), offered psychologist chips and later when I ate whole bag, I licked my fingers in front of both of them and picked my ear when psychologist wasn't watching."

+

"Drank like 3-4 mugs of coffee and monster energy drink in one day but still fell asleep anyway"

+

"What's the point of all these hard work if we will all die either way, sooner or later?"

+

"When having breakdown, I remember something funny and stupid which makes me burst into laughter and forget what I was crying so violently about"

Dabi: "I'll start working out this summer, just to be able to fist fight and beat up our dads one day"

+

"chased sibling with knife around house it was a joke just to scare him don't worry no one got hurt lol"

+

"Life is short make it shorter"

+

"Made my younger step sibling hit step father in the head few times with something"

+

"Damn this headache fucking me in brain really hard now"

+

"It is what it is (I would say that after I fucked up something 💀)"

Toga: "Slept with knife under my pillow few times"

+

"have one stabbed pillow on bed which is covered with old t shirt"

+

"when I was a child I used to bring dead hedgehogs and mouses to my mother saying: Look at this poor kitty mom, let's help it!!! While the fucking animals were flattened like pancake and were literally full of ants and flies"

+

"Tried to snatch a street kitten once but failed and gave up"

Spinner: "Tried to eat cigarettes and rocks I found on ground as kid"

+

"I know I'm atheist and don't believe in that shit, but you hoes need Jesus"

+

"one time i ran through a swarm of tiny flies and my mouth was opened since I was gasping for air because of running and some of these tinyass flies got into my mouth accidentally I could feel them in my throat and gave up from trying to spit damn bug out so I swallowed it 💀"

+

"Who needs bitches when you have perfect sandwich"

Twice: "-Why is your nails painted pink? I mean you are mostly dressed in black it's surprising.

- Because I'm fucking fabulous"

+

"Smoked one or two times my whole pack of cigarettes and than my best friend's whole pack of cigarettes in one day (dw she gave me it I didn't just stole it and smoked it without her permission and I'm not heavy smoker now 👍💀👍)"

+

"Feels confident and looks at mirror whole time thinking how good I look, than after 30 minutes look at myself in mirror and either cry or laugh saying how dumb I look"

+

"accidentally choked on my own spit few times"

+

"Tried to help my best friend to get up one time because she fell but right when I got closer to her I tripped and fell as well"

Magne: "cold & badass women are daddies and cold & badass men are babygirls and pretty princesses"

+

"Bullies my siblings but when someone else does it I go protective mode like: "I'm the only one that can bully this dumbasses"

Mr Compress and Kurogiri:

"I can't stand you bitches so I'm cutting my legs off"

+

"Smacks siblings hand/head when they touch something they're not supposed to or something that's dangerous for them"

+

"one time while I was making coffee, my younger brother came to me to bother me and annoy me out of boredom, so I told him to go away. He did go away but not really far away, he stood at one line of kitchen floor half of meter away from me, I saw what was he trying to do he was trying to provoke me so I was like: If you want to provoke me at least do it fucking right you idiot

And I grabbed him and pulled him with me as I stepped on the actual ending line of kitchen floor and left him there as I went back to making coffee for myself"

~We gotta go baba now ~

I apologize to all people that I told earlier I'm going to sleep, sorry y'all but this idea farted up on my mind and I had to write it immediately so that I don't forget it 😍😍😍

Got a lil distracted 😔😔😔😔

(I hope people won't unfollow me bc of this💀💀💀)

#shigaraki #tomura #league of villains #shigaraki x reader #tomura headcanons #tomura fluff #shigaraki fic #tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #dabi headcanons #dabi #dabi x reader #dabi todoroki #dabi touya #todoroki touya #touya todoroki headcanons #touya fic #touya x reader #toga himiko #mha toga #toga x reader #himiko toga #toga headcanons #bnha spinner #spinner #spinner x reader #spinner mha #twice mha #mr compress #kurogiri

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; SOUR by Olivia Rodrigo (Part I)

BRUTAL

I want it to be, like, messy.

I'm so insecure.

I think that I'll die before I drink.

I'm so caught up in the news.

I'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life.

They'd all be so disappointed.

Who am I if not exploited?

I'm so sick of seventeen.

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

If someone tells me one more time "Enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry.

I don't stick up for myself.

I'm anxious, and nothing can help.

I wish I'd done this before.

I wish people liked me more.

All I did was try my best.

This the kinda thanks I get?

They say these are the golden years.

I wish I could disappear.

God, it's brutal out here.

I feel like no one wants me.

I hate the way I'm perceived.

I'm a nervous wreck.

I love people I don't like.

I hate every song I write.

I'm not cool.

I'm not smart.

I can't even parallel park.

Just havin' a really good time.

Got a broken ego?

God, I don't even know where to start.

TRAITOR

I played dumb, but I always knew.

I always knew that you talked to her, maybe did even worse.

I kept quiet so I could keep you.

Ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?

Ain't it funny how you said you were friends?

It sure as hell don't look like it

You betrayed me.

I know that you'll never feel sorry.

You talked to her when we were together.

Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter.

It took you two weeks to go off and date her.

Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.

I know if you were true, there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.

Ain't it funny?

Remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid?

I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

Don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me.

You gave me your word, but that didn't matter

Yeah, you're still a traitor.

DRIVERS LICENSE

I got my driver's license last week.

Just like we always talked about.

Today, I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around

You're probably with that blonde girl who always made me doubt.

She's so much older than me.

She's everything I'm insecure about.

How could I ever love someone else?

I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.

I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.

All my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you.

I kinda feel sorry for them.

They'll never know you the way that I do.

I still see your face.

Can't drive past the places we used to go to.

I still fuckin' love you, babe.

I still hear your voice in the traffic.

God, I'm so blue.

1 STEP FORWARD, 3 STEPS BACK

All I did was speak normally

Somehow, I still struck a nerve.

You got me fucked up in the head.

Never doubted myself so much.

Am I pretty?

Am I fun?

I hate that I give you power over that kinda stuff

It's always one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad.

Do you love me, want me, hate me?

I don't understand.

Maybe in some masochistic way, I kind of find it all exciting.

Which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home crying?

It's back and forth.

Did I say something wrong?

Maybe this is all your fault instead.

I'd leave you, but the rollercoaster's all I've ever had.

DEJA VU

I bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique.

So when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?

She thinks it's special, but it's all reused.

That was our place, I found it first.

I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you.

Do you get déjà vu when she’s with you?

Do you get déjà vu?

Do you call her, almost say my name?

Let's be honest, we kinda do sound the same.

I hate to think that I was just your type.

Now I bet you even tell her how you love her in between the chorus and the verse.

That was the show we talked about.

Played you the songs she's singing now when she's with you.

Don't act like we didn't do that shit, too.

You're tradin' jackets like we used to do

Everything is all reused.

Play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you.

A different girl now, but there's nothing new.

I know you get déjà vu

GOOD 4 U

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.

You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?

I guess that you've been workin' on yourself.

I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.

Now you can be a better man for your brand-new girl.

You look happy and healthy.

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

You're doin' great out there without me, baby.

God, I wish that I could do that.

I've lost my mind.

I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom.

You're so unaffected, I really don't get it.

I guess you're gettin' everything you want.

You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off.

It's like we never even happened.

Baby, what the fuck is up with that?

It's like you never even met me.

Remember when you swore to god I was the only person who ever got you?

Well, screw that, and screw you

You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.

Maybe I'm too emotional.

Your apathy's like a wound in salt.

Maybe you never cared at all.

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #exodusmusing #*mystarters #*sour

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 85 - The Bach Bash Part 1

It's time for Ophelia and Xander's joint bachelor/ette party! The Watcher was too excited to get started to take establishing screenshots of The Lemon Drop, but Xander closed early for the night so they'd have the perfect party spot!

Marcie: Penny? What are you doing in this save?

Penny: …I live here?

Marcie: And where's Kyle?

Penny: I don't know what the hell a "Kyle" is but my wife Miko is like 10 feet away if this is some weird flirting tactic.

Marcie: Oh, no, sorry. You just look a lot like my best friend Penny Pizzazz. And you're also apparently named Penny Pizzazz.

Penny: Understandable mistake. Pizzazz is a pretty common name. Your friend sounds pretty, though.

Summer's always danced to the beat of her own drum!

And she took her heels off so she could dance easier. I definitely didn't delete the CC shoes I put on her and then forget to give her new ones. I'm killing it over here, gang.

Xander tries to tap the keg he hauled in, but the tap ends up flying off.

Drew: You're a bartender, dude! How do you not know how to tap a keg?

Xander: I'm used to mixing and pouring, not tapping! And Ophelia and I pre-gamed a little so maybe I'm already kind of buzzed.

Keg successfully tapped!

Xander: All right, who wants to do a keg stand with the future Mr. Lemon?

Ophelia doesn't hear this declaration because she's too busy demanding to dance battle Joaquin. He's certainly down for it!

Xander somehow convinces Drew to help him with a keg stand, even though they insist they're not strong enough to hold him up that long.

Xander: I trust you!

Drew: I don't think this is a trust issue but whatever, man.

Well, that's about how I imagined it going.

Damn, even the bartender came over to laugh at him. Tough crowd.

From the other side of the room, Marcie and Ophelia are still able to witness that fail.

Ophelia: OMW, what a dork.

Marcie: You must feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be marrying that specimen.

Marcie: What do we owe Hilary and Greta for watching the kids?

Ophelia: Nothing. Jace was so excited to have some boys his age to play with, and Greta's probably having fun with the girls. Just don't be too mad if Violet comes home with black coffin-shaped nails.

Marcie: Deal.

Marcie: So the big day's tomorrow. You nervous?

Ophelia: Yes and no, I guess? I feel all fluttery about it but I'm just excited to get married.

Marcie: Understandable! I felt the same way, but it was a perfect day. Your day will be too, I know it.

Marcie: The kids had so much fun with you guys. Violet kept talking about playing in the splash pad with "O'fia".

Ophelia: She's precious, they all are. The girls especially were giving me baby fever.

Marcie: Just as I planned.

Ophelia: What?

Marcie: Nothing.

Marcie: Do you really think you want kids soon?

Ophelia: I don't know, I think so? I know Xander wants kids and so do I, but he's got the bar, I've got the band. How would we make it work?

Marcie: You find a way. It wasn't always easy for me and Joaquin, but it's been worth it.

Speaking of Joaquin, Xander's going for round two with his new fellow goofball bestie!

Travis: Come on, dude, are you trying to get killed before your wedding?

You're just jealous The Watcher made you and Becca get married off-screen, Travis!

What's that quote about doing the same thing and expecting different results? Xander should probably look it up when he's not so juiced.

Ophelia: Can't wait to tell my future kids about this night, they'll be so proud of their daddy.

Joaquin: BWAHAHA you should have seen your face, man!

As Joaquin doubles over laughing, Xander hobbles back onto his feet.

Xander: I should have given your kids ice cream before sending them back to you.

Joaquin: Those kids are chaotic no matter how much sugar you feed them!

Ophelia: I'm gonna make sure he's okay. And get myself another drink.

Marcie: Be sure you're drinking plenty of water!

Ophelia: Water? I hardly know her!

Ophelia laughs at her dumb joke, then also laughs as she fake applauds Xander.

Ophelia: That was quite the show! Mwah!

After another drink, Ophelia gets back on the dance floor to show off her moves, only to smack herself in the face in the process.

Ophelia: OWWWW

Drew: Party foul!

Ophelia: As my fake dad, aren't you supposed to support me?

Drew: Not when you're doing rookie shit, kiddo.

#The Sims #The Sims 4 #The Sims 4 Legacy #The Lemon Legacy #TS4 #The Sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 #generation 1 #ophelia #xander #marcie #joaquin #penny #miko #drew #moses #travis #summer #becca #mark #libby

[mooifyourecows]

I love the humor of your fics! I've genuinely never read a story that does it's humor so well and even after multiple rereads I find myself laughing out loud reading Open Tab for example. What tips would you give for writers who are trying to incorporate humor into the story without it being corny?

Hey, sorry for the late reply, i've been really busy lately with the holidays, womp womp 🥲

My advice is: embrace the corny. Every joke I've made will someday (if not already) be corny to somebody. Some of them have become corny even to me. But that's okay. Corny is good. Corny is funny too. Life is too short to be embarrassed about your writing. Embrace corny.

And what makes you laugh the first time might not make you laugh the fifth time. That doesn't mean it wasn't funny the first four times, right? There are tons of jokes I read back on now and I'm like "oh GOD that's lame" but when i wrote it, and when people first read it, it was HILARIOUS. Humor just wears off a little the more you expect and remember it. I mean sure, there are always going to be those jokes that you think are ALWAYS funny, but they're probably not always funny to other people. They might not have been funny ever at all for some people.

All that matters is if YOU think it's funny. Make YOURSELF laugh and giggle and snort over your stupid, corny jokes. That's what I do. I write something, and if it makes me laugh, I know it'll make someone else laugh. Maybe only one other person, but hey, me and that person are the only people in the world with taste anyway so, bombs away. Don't play to an audience unless you're trying to sell something. Play to yourself and you'll attract like minded people and those are the BEST people to have as your readers. They'll love and support you more than your own dang mom.

And then of course the usual advice i give to people about writing comedy is to consume comedy. Watch some shows/movies or read some books/comics that you personally find hilarious. Really pay attention to why they're funny. If you have to, pause and really break a joke down. Even take notes if that's helpful. Basically treat it like you're about to write a deep dive essay on why you laughed. I know it might seem unfun, explaining the joke, but if you understand comedy, you'll have an easier time writing it. Pay attention to word usage, timing, physical gags, silence, etc. It's all important. But don't be afraid to play around! Comedy is like any art and is meant to be creative and unique to every individual. There are some things out there that people find funny that I can't even pretend to laugh at. And that's okay! It's about taste. Find what you like and try it on.

Personally, I like witty banter. I like humor that is a little surprising and over the top. I like when something is so dumb that you can't help but laugh about it. I like funny characters AND funny situations, but especially funny characters in funny situations. So these are the things I try to include in my writing.

But I also really enjoy contrast, so I like to pair humor with other stuff. Sweet romance, deep emotions, sad drama, etc. If you try to be funny and only funny all the time, you're gonna come off a little desperate and the jokes will fall flat. Ever watch a long running show and have to suffer watching it slowly get less and less funny as the seasons go by because all the nuance is gradually replaced with signature character traits recycled again and again and again until every character is a husk of their former selves? That's what it feels like when you focus too hard on making everything funny. You lose the soul of the writing.

Really pay attention to the things you find funny and try and emulate that same energy. Don't use the same jokes, of course, but try and capture the general vibe of the humor in a way that suits your story/writing style. A lot of the stuff I like to consume is witty banter/outlandish situations/crass euphemisms/puns so those are the things i like to put into my own stories. And hey, sometimes it doesn't work. I've written jokes that make me laugh until I cry but nobody seems to feel the same way and HEY, that's alright. I like it. And liking the stuff you're doing is the most important thing in the end.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful in some way. If you ever want any more advice, feel free to shoot me another ask! I'll try my best 👍

Good luck! Sending you good funny vibes for your adventures into comedic writing 🌈