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sundaysunny · 2 years

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TRAPPED!

pairings: donghyuck x you

genre: enemies to lovers, older brothers best friend, angst, (fluff at end)

tw: shitty parents, drinking, arguing

word count: 5.2k

synopsis: you’d grown up with lee donghyuck, him being your older brother mark’s best friend. but this didn’t that mean you automatically liked him, in fact, you felt quite the opposite. as did he. he was everything you hated about a person, he was loud, obnoxious, selfish and quite frankly, really fucking rude. you were absolutely sick of him. that was until your eighteenth birthday.

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

STRIKE 1: THE FAMILY VACATION

You were fifteen when you’d finally decided that you hated Lee Donghyuck. Before that, you’d have just said the two of you didn’t really get a long but could tolerate each other in small doses. Sometimes you could even share a laugh with him when your brother did something stupid, or he’d make a joke that actually made you giggle. But the long car journey to your lake cabin had destroyed any part of you that had been able to tolerate him in the slightest. Four hours, you’d been stuck in a car with him, your parents and Mark. Your parents had been kind enough to allow both you and your brother to bring a long a friend to your lake cabin that summer. Mark had obviously invited Donghyuck, whilst you’d invited one of your friends who couldn’t make it at the last minute. You felt desperately alone despite being cramped in the back next to your brother, and Donghyuck who insisted that you sit in the middle because you were the smallest, but you knew it was because he could annoy you as much as he could.

Twenty minutes into the journey was where you could feel your patience begin to wear down. Donghyuck had been talking the whole time, about how he’d gotten gotten a summer job and how he’d gotten into a good college and his scholarship for the baseball team and how amazing his grades were and how amazing he was and how amazing everything he did was. You rolled your eyes at every word that came out of his mouth. Your parents didn’t seem to see it though, they really did think he was amazing. You interrupted your mothers next question to Donghyuck by asking your dad how long left of the journey there was. Your mother turned and scowled at you.

“Still a while honey, it’ll go quick though.” Your dad made everything better. He was your rock. Even his voice made you feel better. Mark shuffled next to you, pushing you into Donghyuck’s side. “Aww did you want to be closer to me? That’s cute.” Donghyuck teased you, “In your dreams.” You said as you pushed away from him, subsequently pushing Mark closer into the door. Mark knew how much Donghyuck annoyed you and was sad that his little sister and best friend didn’t get along. He loved you both and found it difficult when you’d bicker and fight, especially when you dragged him into it. He remembered a time where Donghyuck had made you so mad that you’d cried. Hyuck had been winding you up about a bad grade you’d gotten despite knowing how much you struggled at school. He knew that Donghyuck wouldn’t have said it maliciously but he could see that you were at your limit with his constant teasing. “Are you just going to stand there and let him talk to your sister like that?” You’d yelled at him, making Mark immediately uncomfortable. “You know he’s only kidding. Don’t get yourself wound up about it.” You stormed upstairs, slamming your door behind you. Mark walked over to Donghyuck and lightly shoved him, “Give her a break man, she’s stressed with school.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes at Mark’s comment, “She’s fifteen, she has nothing to be stressed about. Plus she’s super smart and works hard.” If only you’d heard Donghyuck compliment you. If only Donghyuck had complimented you five minutes before when you were downstairs. There were many other times like that. Mark knee Donghyuck thought the world of you and was extremely frustrated that he wouldn’t just show it instead of constantly teasing you.

A few hours went by in the car and you were very nearly at the lake house. You’d spent the last hour asleep, not realising you’d been resting your head on Donghyuck’s shoulder. He’d obviously taken a picture of it to use as blackmail for a later date. He secretly wanted to set it as his lock screen because you just looked so sweet and innocent when you were asleep and not running your mouth. Donghyuck sniggered to himself as he looked at the picture, showing it to Mark for him to roll his eyes and smile at your sleeping self. Mark savoured the moment, this would probably be the only time for the next week that you would tolerate being near him, even if you were fast asleep.

Mark was right. It was the final day of the trip and even though himself, your parents and Hyuck had had a good time, he wasn’t sure about you. Donghyuck had teased you relentlessly. It wasn’t like you didn’t give as good as you got though. Mark was pretty sure you’d hurt Hyuck’s feelings a couple of times with your snarky comments. If a comment was good enough to make him shut his loud moth for two seconds, it was likely it had gotten to him more than it should have. Especially when you bought up his parents. “Why can’t you go on vacation with your own family?” You snapped back at Donghyuck who had made a stupid comment about the bikini you were wearing whilst the three of you were on your way to the lake. Mark knew that you knew that Hyuck didn’t have a good relationship with his parents so he was surprised that you’d bought them up. Donghyuck shut up for a while after that. You almost felt bad but remembered what he’d said earlier about how the bikini you were wearing made you look like a hooker. You couldn’t really believe he’d said that in front of Mark, actually you could, it wasn’t the most outrageous thing he’d said about you in front of Mark. You needed a way to hurt him back quickly and for him to shut his mouth before he said anything else wildly inappropriate about you in front of your brother. So his parents were a no brainier. The hurt look on his face after you said it though, it stung. You didn’t really want to hurt him that badly. The hooker comment wasn’t that bad and the comment about his parents didn’t really equate, Donghyuck felt. You brushed it off quickly though when Donghyuck pushed you off the jetty into the lake. Oh you definitely hated him.

STRIKE 2: THE PARTY

Your parents had very kindly allowed you to have some friends over for a sleepover in your back yard for your sixteenth birthday. You ordered pizzas and built a huge bed out of pillows blankets and duvets on your trampoline with your friends, adding fairy lights to the top for the final touch. You were so excited. The end of the school year just happened to match up with the weekend of your birthday so you and all your friends were buzzing. You didn’t think anything could bring you down at that moment. Until Lee Donghyuck showed up. He and Mark had come home from seeing their friends and he of course had so come over after, wanting to wish you a happy birthday. And to tease you of course.

“Birthday girl! Come and give me a hug!” Donghyuck yelled as he stepped out the door into your back yard. “Ew never.” You yelled back, going back to talking with your friends. Your friend Yuna shoved you, “Don’t be so rude!” She joked. She knew of your not so relationship with Donghyuck and found it funny every time you’d interact. “Really? No hug from the birthday girl? That’s a shame! I bought her a present and everything!” Your eyes shifted back to Donghyuck as he held up a bag for you to see. You rolled your eyes and shuffled off the trampoline and made your way towards him. You grabbed the present from him and turned on your heels, heading back towards your friends. “No thank you? How rude!” He yelled after you, running up behind you. Donghyuck stood at the side of the trampoline, his arms resting on it as you sat back down with your friends. “Go on, open it.” He pushed. You reluctantly put your hand into the bag and pulled out your gift. A small mirror. “Because you’re so vain!” He grinned. “God you’re such a loser.” You rolled your eyes and put the mirror back into the bag. At least he’d thought of you. He chuckled and walked away, heading back into the house. You chucked the bag to the side and tried to continue your previous conversations with your friends but all they could discuss was how cute Donghyuck was and how they wished he was friends with their brothers instead. “Seriously guys? He’s so annoying!” You exclaimed. “What? He literally bought you a gift!” Yuna swatted you, “And he called me vain! What’s cute about that? And quit hitting me!” You swatted Yuna back. “He probably likes you”, another one of your friends, Yeji said, wiggling her brows. “Oh my god ew, that makes me physically sick.”

They dropped the conversation as the the topic of cute guys at your school came up and none of you would ever miss an opportunity to talk about that. “Park Jisung is so cute, we’ve been talking loads since we became seat mates in Biology.” You gushed as your friends quickly agreed. “Oh my gosh please ask him out! That would be so cute,” Yuna squealed, grabbing your arm. “Every time he sees you he totally flirts with you it’s so obvious he liked you.” You weren’t so sure. You had zero experience with guys and the idea of asking a guy out scared the hell out of you, being rejected is probably your worst nightmare.

You did ponder over the idea however, because that morning Park Jisung had in fact texted you, wishing you a happy birthday. You’d thanked him and he’d replied saying that you guys should hang out over the summer. It didn’t seem too unrealistic. You made a mental note to text him in the morning to make plans to see each other.

Donghyuck was upstairs in Mark’s bedroom with him. The two were lying on his bed, some music playing softly on Mark’s speakers. Donghyuck could hear you giggling with your friends about this Park Jisung. The pang of jealousy he felt was definitely a new feeling and he wasn’t sure just what to do about it. It scared him. Donghyuck slept over that night, tossing and turning at the idea that you might have a boyfriend at some point. He wasn’t sure why it was making him so goddamn uncomfortable. You’d all fallen asleep outside, and Donghyuck felt it was his brotherly duty to check on you all to make sure you were okay. He crept quietly downstairs but jumped when he entered the kitchen, surprised to see you awake and leaning on the edge of the counter on your phone.

“Why are you awake?” He whispered to you, making your head whip up from your phone. “Jesus, you scared me. I could ask you the same thing.” You whisper yelled back. “I couldn’t sleep.” He mumbled, shuffling towards the cupboards, grabbing two glasses from one. He filled them up at the sink and then walked towards you, placing one in front of you. “Thanks.” You mumbled, going back to typing on your phone. Donghyuck winked at you before turning around and heading back upstairs. Once his head hit the pillow, he practically fell asleep immediately, he put down his previous worry about you to the fact that you and your friends were sleeping outside and he was worried about you. He wasn’t really sure that was why but it made him feel better about his feelings.

STRIKE 3: THE INFAMOUS DIET COKE INCIDENT

“Who the hell drank all my diet coke?” You stormed into the living room from the kitchen where Mark and Donghyuck sat playing video games. “Not me.” Mark mumbled as he concentrated on the TV in front of him. “Was it you?” You could feel your blood boiling because you knew exactly who it was. Donghyuck quickly snapped his head round to look at you. You looked really angry. “Me? I would never do that to you!” He said in a sarcastic manner, making your blood boil to an even higher temperature. “Don’t lie to me! I know it was you! You always do! It’s so fucking annoying Donghyuck! You don’t even live here, stop drinking all my fucking favourite drinks!” You practically screamed, storming upstairs. It may have come across as dramatic but a coke diet coke straight from the fridge was one of your only little pleasures in life. And Donghyuck knew this, that’s the only reason he drank them. He liked to get under your skin, he didn’t even like diet coke that much.

You walked into Mark’s bedroom, grabbing the 3 empty cans of diet coke and quickly ran back downstairs. You stood behind the couch and launched the cans at the back of Donghyuck’s head, shocking him. He gasped, “What the hell?” He turned around, annoyance spread across his pretty face. “Don’t drink my diet coke!” You laughed, spinning around on your heels and heading back upstairs. “I just died thanks to you!” He yelled, referring to his game.

You slumped on your bed, still laughing at your interaction with Donghyuck. Grabbing your phone, you pull open your texts with Jisung. You quickly texted him what happened and he replied seconds later with various laughing emojis. Your relationship with Jisung was going well, you’d only been together a month but things were moving fast. You really liked him and couldn’t wait to introduce him to your family. Your parents were really excited to meet him, always asking you to invite him around for dinner. You’d finally asked him after a couple of weeks and you’d agreed on tonight. You couldn’t wait for your parents and brother to meet him. You were slightly nervous about Donghyuck meeting Jisung, worried for what the older boy would do. You thought he’d probably tease him relentlessly, making him nervous which made you worried for the poor boy. You felt tempted to warn him not to be mean, but you knew that would probably backfire at some point. You knew Donghyuck too well and you’d definitely be setting yourself and Jisung up for extreme teasing.

Later on that evening, you opened the fridge whilst helping your mom set the table. Inside was a case of diet coke with a note attached. ‘Sorry :)’ it read. You face broke into a smile as you grabbed your drink and went back to setting the table. “Is Donghyuck staying for dinner tonight?” You asked your mom, placing a plate onto the table, wanting to know whether to set six places. “No sweetie, he had to rush off.” Your lips turned into a pout as you put the sixth plate away and continued on. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d be upset that Hyuck wasn’t coming over.” You rolled your eyes at your moms comment. Neither did you. You were’t really sure why you felt upset that Donghyuck wasn’t going to be there. You did hate him after all. Maybe you would text Donghyuck, asking him why he didn’t want to meet your boyfriend. You came up with a good idea. ‘What’s wrong? Are you jealous that I’ve got a boyfriend that’s not you?’ You typed out, pressing send. Your phone pinged almost immediately, ‘My mom wanted me home. Not everything is about you.’ Ouch. That did hurt a little bit, it felt more serious than the other times he’d said that. He usually used emojis too, to show lightheartedness, but it was pretty blunt and cold. You scowled, wondering if something was up with his parents. You knew he didn’t get along with them which was why he was always with your family. You locked your phone and went back to helping your mom, pushing your worries to the back of your head.

The dinner went really well. Your family loved Jisung, he even got on really well with Mark despite their shared awkwardness for these type of situations. It kind of went too well. You couldn’t help but miss Donghyuck’s presence at the table. You hated having these feelings, they felt so strange. You should have felt so happy that your family loved your boyfriend but all you could think about was Hyuck.

STRIKE 4: THE ARGUMENT

“Why would you say that?” You scowl at Donghyuck who’s too busy putting away dishes to notice your disgust with him. “Say what?” He pretends like he doesn’t realise the impact of what just came out of his mouth. You stop washing up for a second to turn around to face him. “That my boyfriend is pathetic. What does that even mean?” You question him, wanting to know what he’s going to come up with. “He has no back bone, he’s weak, how is he ever going to protect you?” His words feel like swords going through your spine. You’re not sure why it hurt like hell to hear him disapprove of your boyfriend. “Plus, he seems like the kind of guy who would cheat.” He finishes. You’re lost for words, it doesn’t even make sense. You can feel your eyes prick with tears as you ready yourself to yell at him. If Mark didn’t have stupid soccer practice he’d probably be trying to summer things down right now. But he’s not. So Donghyuck is about to get obliterated. “How dare you? You’ve met him once and you feel like you already know him! That’s how goddamn entitled you are, you think you know everything. And I don’t even need protecting! That’s so dated, what even the fuck? I can’t even believe you would say that he would cheat on me? Do you know how awful that makes me feel?” At this point tears have begun streaming down your face. Donghyuck doesn’t know what to say but he wishes he never said any of that. Now he’s made you cry. He feels awful. “Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean any of that.” He tries to grab your arm as you leave the kitchen, distraught with what has just happened. Your parents are sitting on the couch, unaware of any of the argument. Your dad notices the tears on your face and quickly gets up to follow you upstairs. You begin to sob as you reach the top of the staircase. Donghyuck had really hurt you this time, it wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t funny, it hurt you, badly. It hurt that his disapproved of someone you loved and it hurt that you cared about what he thought.

Your dad followed behind you as you crawled onto your bed, covering your face with your hands. Your dad sits on the bed, grabbing one of your hands. “What happened honey?” He coos. “Donghyuck doesn’t like Jisung.” It just came out, you didn’t mean for it to come out that way. You didn’t want anyone to know that you did in fact care if Donghyuck liked Jisung or not. You begin to sob again. Your dad wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair. “Is that it? Or is there more?” You sniffle and pause before you start again, “He said that Jisung is pathetic and he seems like the type of guy to cheat.” The idea of Jisung cheating on you stings. You cry even harder as your dad tries to calm you. “He doesn’t mean it baby, he just wants to protect you. He’s like your older brother.” Your dad tries to make sense of Donghyuck’s comments because they seemed quite out of character. He knew you and Donghyuck liked to tease each other but this felt different. He’d never seen you cry like this over Donghyuck before. “He’s not my older brother. Mark is, and he would never say anything like that. It was just mean, and what truth is it based on? Now I just feel worried.” You grip on to your dads hand, “I know, but it’s not based on any truth so you have nothing to worry about. Jisung is a great guy and I can tell how much you like each other. Donghyuck just went a bit far I think.” He places a kiss on your forehead before there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” your dad says before Donghyuck enters the room, a very sorry look on his face. Your dad gets up and leaves you and Donghyuck in your room together. Donghyuck sits on your bed, very awkwardly, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry,” he starts with, it’s probably a pretty good start, he thinks, “I didn’t mean any of that. I just want to protect you. I’m not sure why. I just do. It feels strange because I hate you so much.” You mumble out an “it’s fine,” and giggle softly. “I hate you too and I accept your apology. Now leave me alone weirdo.” You push him off your bed. “Before I go, I just wanted to say that I really am sorry, I know you may not think I am but I am.” He closes the door behind him as he walks out.

When Mark comes home he jokingly reassures you it’s just because Hyuck is jealous because he’s in love with you. You giggle and decide to go downstairs and to watch TV with your family and you notice Donghyuck is still there. You thought he might have gone home after your argument but he’s still lounging in your living room with your parents. Wow they must really love him, you think, he’s just made their daughter cry and he’s still sitting on their couches watching TV with them. You decide to sit on the same couch as Donghyuck, to let him know that you have actually forgiven him. He feels a lot better now.

STRIKE 5: HE’S TRAPPED US IN HERE?

“Happy birthday babe!” Yuna attacks you in a hug as she walks through your door. Your friends had decided to throw you a huge party for your eighteenth, considering you had just broken up with Jisung and you needed cheering up. You had ended things with Jisung because you both wanted different things. Plus you were off to different colleges in the fall and you didn’t want to do long distance. Jisung was really upset but understood, you also understood when he declined your offer to come to your party, which felt a bit awkward because you still agreed to be friends.

The past year, things have changed a lot. There was a shift in your relationship with Hyuck. You’d almost become friends (emphasis on almost), but that didn’t stop you annoying each other and throwing hurtful comments each other’s way. You could confirm you still hated him, but maybe a little bit less. You still argued like crazy, you even made him cry once. But it just felt different. You’d always forgive each other and start fresh again the next day which was unheard of a couple of years ago. Of course he’d invited himself to your party, along with a few of him and Mark’s other friends, Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun. You’d met them countless times before and had a decent relationship so it didn’t feel weird having them at your party. Yuna had mentioned several times that she was seriously crushing on Jaemin and decided tonight was her night to make a move which you of course supported her on, they were both amazingly sweet people.

Donghyuck had bought you a real gift this year. Well, not really but it kind of made sense. He’d bought you a case of diet coke of course, but he’d also printed the photo of you and him in the car on the way to the lake all those years ago and framed it. You almost cried at the gesture before you noticed the drawings of the stink lines and the devil horns he’d drawn on you. You rolled your eyes and placed the photo on the fireplace mantel.

It wasn’t long before you began to feel tipsy, and with tipsiness came confidence, and sometimes, for you, a more argumentative side came to the surface. When Donghyuck had given you your gift you were sober so your reaction was minor. However, when you saw it hours later when drunk, your feelings on it had changed. You felt angry. Why did he have to do that? You picked up the picture from the mantelpiece and headed towards Donghyuck who was chatting to his friends. You shoved the picture into his chest. “Why would you do this? Why do you hate me so much?” You drunkenly slurred. It was hard to hear over the music so Donghyuck pulled you aside away from his friends. “What do you mean? I thought you liked it?” He smirked. That made you even angrier. “Why would I like this? I smell lovely and I’m an angel? You’re the devil! God I hate you!” You stumbled and grabbed onto the kitchen counter to stable yourself. “Careful.” Donghyuck muttered. “Careful? Why do you care?” You jabbed a finger into his chest. “You’re drunk. Let me help you.” He tried to put an arm around you to support you but you shoved him off. “Don’t try to help me. I thought you hated me? Why are you trying to help me?” You shoved his chest again. Quite hard this time pushing him back. His friends had began to notice the interaction and had called Mark over who was watching from the sidelines. When you pushed Donghyuck, Mark approached you both. “Hey don’t fight today guys. It’s supposed to be a fun day! You’re eighteen!” Mark exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. “Shut up, I’m so annoyed at Hyuck right now.” Mark gave Donghyuck a confused look to which Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders. “Come on let’s get you sat down.” Mark tried to help you too but you shoved him off. “No I wanna fight!” You tried to get Mark off again but failed when he grabbed you hard. “Get off!”

“You’re really drunk you need to sober up.” Mark tried to explain but you were too drunk to listen. You just wanted to fight with Donghyuck. “I need to have it out with Hyuck!” Mark helped you up the stairs. Donghyuck was in tow with a glass of water. “You’re going to regret it, you’re not thinking straight.” Mark laid you down on your bed then tried to sit you up so you could drink some water. It was then that you felt very emotional. Tears began streaming down your face, Mark quickly wiped them away and comforted you. He knew it was just because you were drunk and your emotions were all over the place. “Hey, stay with her a minute I’m going to get some more water.” Mark muttered to Donghyuck as you began to relax again, sitting up again the headboard of your bed. Donghyuck sat down on your bed as Mark exited the room, shutting the door behind him. You then both heard a click, it sounded like he’d locked the door behind him. Donghyuck then got up and tried to open the door, but couldn’t. “He’s trapped us in here, why has he done that?” Donghyuck was really confused, he tried to bang on the door for help but no one could hear over the music. Mark then came back a few seconds later. But not unlocking the door. “You guys need to talk. This is getting ridiculous. Just, just talk.” He sounded so defeated. “

“What’s he talking about Hyuck?” Your eyes were still glassy and they looked confused. “Why are you calling me Hyuck now? It’s always been Donghyuck.” He questioned you. “I don’t know I’m drunk.” You shrugged. “Okay.” He sat down again. “I don’t think Mark is going to let us out anytime soon. So let’s talk.” He turned his head towards you, looking you in the eye. “What about?” You said softly. “I think Mark might know something. Actually yeah he does because I told him so I think it’s about that.” Donghyuck looks down at his fingers as he plays with them. “What did you tell him?” Your voice cracks but still sounds so soft. Donghyuck falls silent but even in your drunk state you sort of know what’s coming. You stay silent for a while.

“I think I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a while now.” He mumbles. You’re not really sure what to say. “I think you breaking up with Jisung really solidified it for me. I felt so relieved and almost happy again. Sorry I know that’s insensitive.” He mumbles towards the end again. “I know it’s super confusing. I’m sorry.” He gets up again to sit on your floor, his head low and his hands clasped together. You stay silent and he continues, “You’re just really frustrating. You’re so beautiful and so smart and you’re everything I want. I don’t know why we started being mean to each other but I so badly wanted it to stop but I was so scared of my feelings I just carried on.”

“I don’t know what to say.” You finally break your silence. “It’s okay you don’t have to say anything.” He says. “No, I should. I want to. I had, have, feelings for you too. For a long time. They confused me too, I didn’t know what to do with them so I just continued being mean.” You played with your blanket, looking down too. “What do we do now?” You ask, looking up at him. He looks at you too. “I don’t know.” He gets up to sit next to you, and grabs your hand. “This is a start I guess.” You gently smile at him, squeezing his hand. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I still can’t believe Mark trapped us in here while I’m drunk.” You say leaning your head back in a pillow. “I think he knew that was the only way I’d be confident enough to speak to you, about this. He planned it all.” You mumbled, your eyes beginning to shut. Donghyuck stands up and his hand leaves yours. “No, stay with me.” Your voice desperate. He slowly slips into bed next to you. You lean your head on his shoulder and begin to fall asleep.

NOT SO STRIKE 6: THE FAMILY VACATION

“Stop touching my leg I’m too hot.” You push Hyuck away, but he doesn’t move, he instead presses a wet sloppy kiss to your cheek. You roll your eyes and just give in, resting your head on his shoulder. He pulled his phone out, snapping a picture and quickly sets it as his lock screen. You can see your mom smiling at you both in the rear view mirror. Mark is next to you, he feels pretty happy that his little sister gets on so well with his best friend. Maybe a little too well, he feels. But he knew that the ‘hatred’ you felt for each other was just confusion. He saw the way you looked at each other all these years. He saw the little confused scrunched up faces you’d make when Hyuck gave you a compliment to annoy you. Or after a fight, the heartbreak he could see in Donghyuck’s eyes. They’re just so stupid.

“Put me down!” You squeak as Donghyuck slings you over his shoulder, walking towards the lake. “Never! This is our first lake trip as lovers, we’re gonna go make out in the lake!” You slap his back, “What is wrong with you? And lovers? Gross! I’m not making out with you in the lake!” But you did, and it was awesome.

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orionchildofhades · 8 months

Text

steddie swapping soulmate au part 8

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He wakes up in Eddie's bed, the sheets tangled in this legs, dark hair in his mouth.

It is painful.

Not the body, Eddie seems to be fine, healthy even. And it's great.

Because Steve couldn't, even if he really wanted, hate Eddie. He wishes him the best with all his might, all of his prayer, all of his breath and tears and the pain scratching against his ribs when he though too long about their last discussion.

No, it's the idea of Eddie that hurts, the fact that he can't let the pain heal, the constant -or almost because thankfully swapping are not a daily occurence- reminder of his pain held within the very definition of his DNA, the fact that he cannot get rid of it and let both Eddie and himself have a life away from one another.

Steve stands up quickly, makes his way to the bathroom and shuts himself in it quietly, locking the door. He sits on the floor, head between his hands, trying hard not the cry.

He just wants to go home now.

But he can't.

So he grabs the sink and gets himself on his feet, finds the hairbrush full of long hair and starts working on the nest that is Eddie's hair.

The least he can do is take care of this body while he is in it. Even if he is not welcome to be.

He takes his time, works on the tangled locks of brown hair, on the dry ends that seemes to be fused together to a molecular level. He wets them and brush under the water. His hair are so different but he'll be damn if he let's all the advice his mother ever gave him go to waste.

A knock at the door startles him enough to make him drop the brush.

Truning off the tape, he asks: "Yes?"

"Damn kid, what got you so polite this morning? I made coffee. Get out of here."

Steve straighten a bit before nodding, realising too late how useless this is. It's not like his uncle can see him in there. And it's probably his uncle.

Wayne, Steve recalls, as if any elements of his soulmate's life could be forgotten like this.

And it does sound like Wayne because Patricia had this accent and this tone that made Wayne's voice sound completly different.

He gets out of the room and follows the corridor to the smell of coffee. He finds Wayne sitting on the couch, reading the paper with a slight frown.

Steve stands there for a moment, bathing in the strange normalicy of it, the familiarity between uncle and nephew. The routine. Clearly Eddie and Wayne are comfortable around each other. They don't leave in a big mansion with thousands of room filled to the brim with silence and emptiness. They live together, they share the space and the time they have in each other's life.

It's so startingly alien to Steve that he doesn't know what to say or do.

Wayne looks up at him and frowns before putting down his paper.

"Are you alright?" He asks, concern pouring out of his words, "What have you done with your hair?"

"I- huh, I'm sorry, sir, I'm not Eddie, I'm his...soulmate" His voice breaks at the end of the sentence, tears burning behind eyes that are not his.

The older man scrambles up, almost falling in the process, "Yes, oh shit. Of course. Do you even like coffee, you don't have to drink it. Shit, drop the sir nonsense would ya?"

"It wouldn't be proper..." Steve says, and i don't want to be too close to you because your nephew hates me, he thinks silently.

Wayne scoffs at the mention of proper and drags things out of the cupboards with frantic movements, cursing under his breath at every turn.

"Sorry kid, I'm not good at that. Breakfast?" He finally says while showing the table covered in jam and cereals, coffee, orange juice and pancakes from the fridge.

"At that? Do you often end up with Eddie's soulmate roaming around?" He can't help but ask, a small smile on his lips despite the situation.

"No, I meant all social things, Patricia clearly got the right skills."

"She does seem rather social."

Wayne beams at him sitting on a chair and inviting him over.

"It's true that you met her already. Come on, eat something. Eddie is usually never awake at this time, enjoy all the breakfast he never gets to eat."

Steve gives up, the drag of hunger taking him to the table.

It's not like he can help it anyway, he's here for the day, he better make it worthwhile.

He feels a small tug at the memory of the broadway show he was supposed to watch with is

, sad to miss it given the lack of opportunities he has to spent time with any of his parents.

He hids it all behind a smile and he helps himself with some coffee, thanking Wayne as he goes.

At least his uncle doesn't treat him too badly, even if his nephew can't bear the sight of him.

#steddie #eddie x steve #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #steddie soulmate au #orionwritesthingies

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icarusignite · 1 year

Text

An Eye for an Eye (part 12)

A/N: Comments and reblogs are appreciated, I love hearing y'alls thoughts <3

Word Count: 3319

All chapters: MASTERLIST

Aemond Targaryen landed his dragon in Storm's End for the second time in his life, his mind full of thoughts. He had a foreboding sense that something wasn't right. Or perhaps he just needed an excuse to get away. It had been a difficult few days at the Red Keep, with his grandfather's constant reprimands and his brother's insufferable behaviour. Aemond would not care as much if Otto's remarks were aimed only at him, but it drove him mad that the target of all his admonishing was his mother. His beloved mother, who was already at her wit's end and vulnerable to her father's comments. As put together and formidable Alicent Hightower may be in her own right, somehow Otto Hightower seemed to have the ability to reduce his daughter to a mere child when he spoke to her. Aemond blamed himself for the treatment of his mother, but a part of him blamed Daenys too. His initial hurt and anguish at her departure had hardened into a blind sort of rage toward his wife. She had left him all alone even despite knowing how much he needed her and she had left his mother to face the blame for allowing her to escape.

When Aemond was shown into the main hall, he was surprised to see Cassandra Baratheon seated on the stone throne that her father usually occupied. He tipped his head in respect and started to ask after her father when he received the second surprise of the day. From one of the adjoining corridors stepped out one of the last people he expected to see there. Despite his best efforts, he found himself studying her, charting the changes in her countenance and in the way she carried herself. The scar on her face stretched gruesomely across her eye, the skin still swollen and sutured, and yet she looked calmer than he had seen her look in the longest time. She seemed to have just finished sparring with someone because she was slightly out of breath and sweat plastered her silver hair to her forehead and neck. Aemond felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of her sparring with someone else, at the thought of her in close proximity with anyone who wasn't him.

"Lady Cassandra, I hope you are in good health. I received a letter from your father a few days prior but have not heard from him since. I came to see if all was well and if he had received my response," Aemond finally managed to pull his attention away from his wife long enough to address Cassandra Baratheon.

Daenys looked up and grimaced, finally catching sight of the wretched man. She moved her hand to the sword at her hip but was stopped short by Cassandra's exclamation.

"Restrain yourself, princess! I will not have more bloodshed on my lands," Casandra sounded impatient and Daenys's hand fell from her sword.

"Yes Lady Cassandra," she begrudgingly agreed.

"And Prince Aemond, as for my father, I am afraid he has passed on. I am his heir and the head of House Baratheon now so you may take up your discussions with me."

"My lady you? You are your father's heir? I do not remember Lord Borros naming any of his daughters as his heir. In fact, I distinctly recall him saying that should the gods ever grant him a son of his own blood, Storm's End would pass to him," Aemond returned smoothly.

"Yes well he had no sons as you are well aware, so you may speak to me about whatever it is you needed my father for," Cassandra's patience was running thin now.

"It was regarding our alliance, my lady. We had plans to discuss Crown Prince Jaehaerys's betrothal to your youngest sister Floris Baratheon."

"Ah yes about that, I am afraid House Baratheon can no longer stand by your brother. I do hope you will understand but I believe that it is in our best interests to support Queen Rhaenyra and her claim. She is after all her father's true heir," Cassandra explained.

"And may I ask the reason behind this sudden change of heart my lady? It was my understanding that House Baratheon had an agreement with my brother?" Aemond's brow furrowed.

"You must understand that alliances shift all the time. My grandfather's allegiance was to Princess Raenys and her kin Rhaenyra and my Father's was to Prince Aegon. Now mine is to Queen Rhaenyra. It is as simple as that. And we have the support of the Queen's Sword herself," Cassandra nodded her head toward Daenys who had been watching their exchange silently the entire time.

Aemond's mind reeled, trying to figure out what exactly was going on here. This did not bode well. Lord Borros had been in perfectly good spirits when he had last seen him but the humourless smirk Daenys sent his way told him that his death was not a natural one. He could not imagine that she would have killed him though. It was difficult to reconcile such a version of her with the gentle girl he once knew. However times had changed, and in times of war, he supposed no one was as they seemed.

"Whatever Princess Rhaenyra has pledged in return for your alliance, I can promise you that King Aegon can provide you with that and tenfold more. Name your pri-," Aemond tried to bargain before he was interrupted by his wife.

"That's Queen Rhaenyra to you, you pig. Show some respect when you say her name!" Daenys spat.

Aemond almost flinched. Pig. She had never called him that before. It brought back old memories and even older scars.

"Princess..." Cassandra warned giving her a sidelong glance, and Daenys closed her eyes with a sigh.

Aemond looked between the two girls with curiosity. It seems as though they had formed a friendship of sorts. This alliance would be harder to reverse than he had imagined. Although he hated to do it, to go home bearing news of a lost ally, it may be in his best interests that he retreated for now.

"You cannot buy our loyalty, my prince. I am afraid you will have to return to your brothers with my apology. We cannot support his claim for the iron throne. I understand that this would mean the betrothal between my sister and his son is no longer applicable."

"Very well my lady. It will be as you wish, but if I may, I do believe you are making a terrible mistake allying yourself with someone who has no hope of successfully claiming the iron throne. My brother already sits upon it. The matter is as good as settled," Aemond conceded, giving her a final bow before turning to leave.

Before Aemond could make it out of the throne room, he found himself slammed into a wall, a dagger pressed to his throat.

"Daenys!" he heard Cassandra shout out the princess's name, all consideration for formality gone.

He found himself more surprised than hurt, his wife's strength no match for his own. He could easily have shaken her off if he so wished but he waited to see what she had to say. He was either arrogant enough to believe that she couldn't hurt him, or foolish enough to believe she wouldn't. He gave her a lazy smile and it prompted her to press the dagger closer against his neck.

"You have some nerve coming here! To show your face and spew the bullshit that you just did!" Daenys snarled, her pulse thundering in her ears.

"I only spoke the truth, my dear wife. But I suppose it is true what they say; the truth hurts," he returned.

"Do not call me that. I am not your anything!"

Aemond held up his hand to flash at her the slim gold band that encircled his ring finger, "We are still bound, you and I. No matter how much you hate it, in the eyes of the Gods, old and new, you are still mine."

"Do not use the Gods to bend me to your will. It will not make me spare you!" she snapped.

"No? But she might," Aemond gestured toward Cassandra who was still shouting at Daenys to unhand their guest.

Daenys's grip faltered. She knew that she shouldn't be causing chaos in someone else's halls but she couldn't help herself. Just the sight of him made her blood boil and seeing him here brought all the awful memories rising back until they choked her. It made her want to choke them right back but she'd settle for strangling him instead.

"Queen's Sword hmm...You gained a shiny new title during your time away. Now, how'd you go about doing that?" Aemond's voice was soft, and his gaze was even softer.

"It did not come steeped in the blood of a child, Kinslayer."

"It had a blood price all the same. Or do you really expect me to believe that Lord Borros just happened to die peacefully in his bed after handing over his seat to his daughter? You must think me foolish."

"What do you want me to say huh? That I killed him? It doesn't matter. It doesn't make lady Cassandra's claim any less true. She is his firstborn child. She has the papers with his seal declaring her his heir. You cannot dispute this!"

Aemond scoffed, his eyes hardening a fraction, "Lord Borros has always made his opinion on women in positions of leadership clear. Everyone knew that. How do you expect anyone to believe his sudden change of heart?"

"I do not care for the thoughts or opinions of anyone. She has his decree sealed with his blood. It is done. She is the rightful heir. I understand that you and your usurper family might have trouble imagining a woman on a throne but try not to let it show," Daenys's dagger dug deeper, drawing a sliver of blood that marked the pale column of his throat.

"Princess enough!" Cassandra had finally reached the arguing pair.

Daenys allowed the lady of the house to pull her away. Aemond looked at her in amusement as he wiped his hand across his neck.

"So that’s what all this is about? All this trouble because you are upset that the nobility is choosing to support my brother's claim to the throne. You can't just go around killing anyone who opposes you Daenys. Now you've gone and painted a target on Lady Cassandra's back for the sake of your pitiful ambitions. Do you think all her Baratheon relatives are going to sit back and watch some little girl take a throne that they've been waiting for all their lives? And what of the true heir to the Baratheon seat? For all your talk of hating usurpers, you just usurped someone to put her up there. How ironic," Aemond gave Daenys a sardonic look as she turned a flaming shade of red to match her building fury. She would have lunged at him again if it weren't for Cassandra's hand on her shoulder.

"Do not speak of me as though I am not here," Cassandra finally interrupted. "I chose this. In a world that was fair, this seat would belong to me. If I was a firstborn son instead of a daughter, I would have been the undisputed heir. And yet, as a daughter all I was ever going to be good for was to be sold off to some lord or prince in exchange for more power. Power that would go to my father or husband, and I would only be a commodity. At least now, whatever deals I make will be of benefit to me. Princess Daenys only helped me take back what was rightfully mine and I am prepared to fight to keep it."

"Lady Cassandra I was only-"

"I will not be called a foolish little girl in my own halls Prince Aemond. I think it's best you return home now. You will not find the alliance you seek here," Cassandra finished firmly.

Aemond turned towards Daenys, all humour gone from his eyes, "This will not save your family from their fate and all your efforts will have been for nought."

Daenys stepped forward, "Like being peaceful saved my brother from his fate? You really ought to leave before I lose my restraint and Lady Cassandra has the unfortunate luck of having to order your blood scrubbed off her floor."

"I will leave, but perhaps I will take along what belongs to me," Aemond took Daenys's proximity to him as an opportunity to seize her wrist.

"What! Unhand me at once!" Daenys tried to wrench her hand away but he was far too strong.

"No. I think I'll take you back with me. Make a gift of you to my mother. Grandfather has been exceedingly upset with her for allowing you to leave so bringing you back will be a fair exchange for the alliance lost. A princess and her dragon in exchange for the Baratheons. You must understand it is a little disappointing returning empty-handed," Aemond's grip tightened.

Daenys threw all her weight into pulling away but try as she might she could not. Her indignation grew, at being treated like a mere object to be bartered and traded for. When he began to drag her with him toward the grand doors leading outside, panic began to build. She could not go back. She'd rather die than go back to the prison that was the Red Keep.

"Prince Aemond, you have no right-" Cassandra began before Aemond held up a hand

"I have every right. She is my lawful wife. And your knights are no match for me, my lady, even you know that. It would be in your best interests to let us pass and perhaps my brother might be able to be persuaded to look past your betrayal.

"She is not some thing you can just drag away at will. I will not have a kidnapping on my lands. Leave her be."

Aemond ignored her and continued to drag Daenys toward the exit. Daenys reached out her other hand to scrabble for purchase, to grab onto something, anything, but there was nothing stable enough within reach.

"Stop squirming. I am not letting you go. That night was the last time I made that mistake and for the sake of my family, I will not make it again. You and your dragon pose a significant enough threat to my brother's crown and I will not let you ruin this."

Daenys stopped resisting for a moment and although Aemond's hold did not loosen, his arm came into closer range. She used this advantage to bare her teeth and sink them into his flesh. He grunted, his fingers tightening hard enough to form bruises.

"You little animal! Did you just bite me?"

The princess only glared and bit down harder, drawing blood, and the two remained locked in their deadly embrace, neither of them easing their grasp. Aemond used his opposite hand to grab a fistful of his wife's hair at the base of her neck. He yanked her head backward and her teeth dislodged from his arm. She stared up at him defiantly before spitting in his face. He hummed thoughtfully before pulling her arm and throwing her over his shoulder in one smooth movement. She yelped in surprise before beginning to rain blows upon his back, but it was nothing compared to the tight grip he had on her legs. This way he was easily able to walk out the door and make his way toward his dragon.

"Nonono, you cannot make me go back. You can't! I won't go! My mother will have your head for this you monster," she howled, her desperation reaching its peak because she knew once they reached Vhagar, it was over. Her only other option would be to leap from the dragon while it was flying, thousands of feet in the air.

In the distance Silverwing let out a roar of displeasure, sensing her rider's plight but Aemond knew that the dragon could not help Daenys, not without hurting her, so she wouldn't try.

"Silverwing! Dracarys!" Daenys screeched.

Aemond was startled. What was this foolish woman thinking now. Did she intend to burn herself alive too in her rage. He sped up his pace as he would much rather go home without another casualty on his hands. Just when Aemond had almost reached Vhagar and Daenys had lost all hope, Aemond felt a stabbing pain in his side. Because he was not expecting it, his surprise caused his hold on Daenys to falter just slightly. However, Daenys used that single advantageous moment to plant her hands on his back and vault herself over his shoulder, falling in a heap behind him. Before he had fully turned around, she scrambled away to a safer distance, drawing her sword in front of her with shaking hands. Aemond looked down in bewilderment to see an arrow embedded in his side. He finally caught sight of the little girl standing on the stone steps of the castle, with another arrow notched in her bow, pointing at him. He turned back to Daenys who seemed prepared to cut off his very hands if he touched her again. Snapping the arrow's shaft near its base, he turned to climb onto Vhagar and took his leave.

After watching him leave, Daenys collapsed to her knees, the sword clattering to the floor. Tears of relief and horror streamed down her face as she struggled to process all that had happened.

"Are you alright?" Cassandra approached her hesitantly, and along with her was the young girl from earlier.

"Yes. Yes, I'm okay. I just... it's been a lot," Daenys responded shakily.

Cassandra turned to glare at the young girl who was her sister, "And you Floris. You shot the prince? Why would you do that?"

Floris frowned, "He was taking the princess away. She looked like she didn't want to go."

Cassandra's eyes turned thoughtful, "No, no she didn't. Princess Daenys I am sorry. I should have done something more to stop him."

"I told you to call me Daenys when it's just us," Daenys offered her a small smile, "and besides, I'm alright. Floris here saved me."

"You left in the middle of sparring, and you said that you'd be back soon but it had been a while so I went looking for you," Floris interrupted.

"Is that so? Well, I'm glad you did. Thank you," Daenys brushed the girl's hair away from her face affectionately.

"Will you finish sparring with me afterwards then?" Floris asked, and only when she had received Daenys's affirmative nod did she allow herself to be dismissed by her older sister.

"I truly am sorry Daenys. I just didn't know what to do to make him stop," Cassandra repeated to which Daenys shook her head again.

"I told you it's alright. And besides, it is I who should be sorry for creating that ruckus in your home. I didn't mean to provoke him, I just... I got so angry and I couldn't control myself...but I didn't think that he'd-" tears flooded her uninjured eye once again as she tried to wipe them away with trembling hands.

Cassandra dropped to her knees beside her and hesitated a moment before pulling Daenys closer. Daenys wrapped her arms around her shoulders and wept, while Cassandra simply brushed her hair back and held her.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a bother," Daenys sobbed.

"In this world run by men, we women must help each other as best we can. It is the only way to make this place bearable. You are no bother Daenys."

That day, sitting underneath the afternoon sun, two girls found a kindred spirit in each other's embrace. Daenys never had a sister but if she did, she imagined it would feel like this, and Cassandra found that she cared for this ambitious young princess as though she was one of her own sisters. A friendship forged in bloodshed and politics but a friendship all the same.

_______________

Taglist (comment to be added/removed):

@m1tzifa1ry @blulemonades @bietchz @bugheadskid @applepyesworld @mrswhitethornbelikov @mysingularitybts @caspianobsessed @lotr-got @theekinslayer @vaf24 @feiwelinchen @dangerousbluebirdpoetry @hanabbrmpg @issybee0611 @lyannesworld @moni-cah @akinatrix @carryonmywaywardho @queenofbeingdepressed @cateyesinlove @frozenhuntress67 @bregarc @spicykimchii @stargaryenx @linevondensternen @duskiebaby

#Aemond x OC #Aemond x Reader #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #A Song of Ice and Fire #rhaenyra targaryen #Daemon Targaryen #helaena targaryen #Aegon II Targaryen #lucerys velaryon #Jacaerys Velaryon #baela targaryen #hotd fanfic #aemond x y/n #otto hightower #aemond fanfiction #alicent hightower #game of thrones #borros baratheon

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ccornersstone · 6 months

Text

the little things

Major spoilers for pacific bay!

‘It’s the little things,” it’s what Karen had always told Frank whenever he would be frustrated about dealing with the children.

Like Amy not getting math as easily as Duncan had, he’d get frustrated in attempting to assist her and Duncan and Karen would always step in. The mess of toys and constant whining and Frank had never been quite patient with all of that despite his children being his entire world.

Karen cherished all the little frustrations, she hid them despite everything even with her little slip ups she’d always been better at the than Frank. Because all of that would go away soon, sooner than he thought. all that time spent griping would been spent better…. Like, getting Amy through that math book. Or being sober enough to be the one to yank Laura from the road.

Or recognizing that sound that was all too familiar, it hadn’t exactly occurred to Frank it had driven far close but it’s when Daisy had burst through the door, eyes as big as saucers and overflowing as they darted around. And it doesn’t register much besides.

“Momma! - Laura-“ it was muffled. Something about a ball and that … sound. It registered and maybe a little late because Karen was already gone by the time it hit and he finds himself scrambling to the door. ▔

“Daddy,” Amy’s voice rung out from Behind Frank’s back and he craned his neck to see his oldest daughter, standing right there. She was the second oldest of all the children but she was the oldest girl. She had a book labeled ‘mathematics’ clutched to her chest, her long, blonde hair pulled back in a braid laying on her shoulder and falling onto her baby blue shirt.

“Ya need something, Amy?” Frank questioned sitting his glass of soda on the countertop and turning towards his daughter.

Amy gave a small nod. “Momma is working late,” she said with a slight hesitation. She would’ve preferred Karen helping her due to the amount of patience that woman had but surely It wouldn’t hurt asking Frank, he was her father after all, right?

“She said she would help me with my math homework, but she’s working late and I need to get it done. Could you come help me?” Amy asks.

Frank grumbled something to himself but nods grabbing his glass as He takes a seat next to Amy in the dining room. “What’s the matter?”

Amy grabbed her pencil away from her lips where she’d been chewing on it and points at division problem, a whole page of them.

Frank sighs. “Division? That’s easy, it’s like subtracting something but with shortcuts.”

Amy swallows. “Every time I do it the teacher says its wrong. I don’t know why Timmy as so many apples.” She continues on referring to the problem at hand.

This was going to be a long day. Frank took a long sip of the soda. “How many apples does he have?”

“80.” Amy responded. “He wants to give away 50.”

After a few good tries at attempting to explain Frank raised an hand to massage at his temples as Amy erased what she’d written down once again. “Amy, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve explained everything I know how to explain.” He grumbled the irritation evident on his face.

“Daddy, I gotta f-“

“Amy, not now.” Frank sits the now empty glass down. “Get a calculator or something I can’t help you.” He hissed. “I need a drink.”

Amy’s lips pulled down into a frown and she places the pencil down. “I’ll go ask Duncan,” she murmurs.

Patience had never been Frank’s strong suit but maybe It would’ve been better off to try again and appreciate the fact With Karen gone he was the one Amy chose to go to for help. ▁

Daisy pushed the plate away as she sits her silverware down.

“Daisy, Honey,” Karen walks behind her daughter placing a hand on her shoulder causing her to turn to look towards her mother. “I know you’ve been wanting to see your father, right?”

Daisy nodded, her brows raising as she pondered what her mother was going with this.

“You’ve been studying for your learners permit and all and since it went will with him teaching Amy and Duncan I figured since you wanted to see him more he could teach you.” Karen says, with a small smile. “He offered.” She adds.

“Wait, really?” Daisy’s eyes widened and her lips curled upwards in a smile. “Momma, can I?”

Karen nodded. “If you want to, you can. Why don’t you call him to let him know?”

Daisy nodded eagerly as she practically tossed her plate in the sink and followed Karen as she dialed Frank’s number. The sound of it ringing sounded up until the call was picked up and the clicking of it being connected is there and Daisy excitedly grabbed the phone from Karen, nearly causing her to drop it.

“Karen?” Frank questions.

Daisy clicked her tongue as she shook her head as she spoke. “No, Daddy, it’s me!” She exclaimed excitedly. “Momma told me what you said!” She added quickly, wrapping a strand of her short brunette hair around her finger.

“Did she now, Kiddo?” Frank questioned.

“Mhm!!” Daisy said excitedly.

“And what’d she say? Did she say yes or no?” Frank asks.

“She said we could!” Daisy responds. “when can we? I wanna see you soon!”

“If your Mother is alright with it, what about this weekend?” Frank questioned.

Daisy looks up to Karen with big eyes and Karen lets out a small laugh but nods as she listens in. ▔

As planned, Daisy gets ready on Saturday afternoon to go visit with Frank and practice driving in some clear backroads. Once she’d managed to get Karen off her back about bringing a jacket even when it was barely cold outside. They lived in a place called ‘pacific bay’ after all. Though she brought one to appease her mother and tossed it in the backseat.

Daisy shut the door to the passenger’s seat, strapping herself in ignoring the uneasiness growing in her gut. She’d hardly been in cars for a few years, she preferred walking and Karen never fussed about it considering the reason behind it.

“How’d you sleep, Kiddo?” Frank questioned as he adjusted the the front mirror which he peered at Daisy through, her hands tucked neatly in her lap.

“Amy came by so we had a movie night,” Daisy said with a small smile, followed by a yawn. “So I’m a bit tired.”

“Does your mother know you stayed up that late?” Frank asked, with the slightest hint of teasing in his voice as he parked the car.

“Daddy!” Daisy whined. “Don’t say anything.”

“Alright, alright, kiddo. Your secrets safe with me.” Frank said chuckling, he unstrapped his seatbelt. And Daisy watches this, confused.

“What’re you doing?” Daisy’s brows raise.

“Switching spots. You go in the drivers seat.” Frank answered matter of factly.

Daisy’s mouth runs dry. She had agreed to this, but she won’t admit she hadn’t thought through it that much. Had she? She hadn’t. “Isn’t that a bit soon?” There’s a lump in the teen’s throat as she speaks, she brushes strands of hair out of her face.

“No, the best way is to learn hands on. How do you think I learned? My dad tossed me in the front seat when I was 12.” Frank answered. “Unstrap yourself and get moving.” He urged and with shaking hands Daisy does so.

It’s when Daisy is hoisted herself into the front seat, shes staring out the windshield and her hands sweating as they turn white when she grips the steering will.

“Adjust your seat.” Frank directed guiding Daisy’s hand to do so. It’s more adjusted and she let out a sigh and takes a deep breath despite her stomach being in knots.

Frank placed the keys into Daisy’s opened palm. “Put in in the keyhole and turn it.” He directed and Daisy’s hands trembled as she inserts the key but she can’t turn it on. It was just turning on the car, she forgotten how much she hated cars. They take people places, but it had taken her sister. How long had it been again? It’d been five whole years since she’d surpassed her older sister in age but she didn’t feel like it. How could she ever be older than Laura? She Wasn’t supposed to be.

“Daisy,” Frank stated, a hand on his daughter’s shoulder snapping her out of her train of thought. She Wasn’t supposed to be here, Laura wasn’t supposed to be there. “Just turn it on.” Frank repeated.

“What’s so hard about turning on a car? Just turn the key.” Frank reaches out to grab Daisy’s hand when she yanked it out dropping the keys in her lap and her eyes slam shut to contain the flood about to be released.

“I can’t!” Daisy choked out, her throat is closing up as a sob escaped her throat as if barely able to move. Her shoulders slumped.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Frank stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the sight before him. He should’ve shut his mouth.

“-iddo?” Frank whispered, he reached out to place a hand on Daisy’s shoulder and she jerks away from him, hot tears streaming down her face as if his touch burned more than her tears and Frank pulled his hand away.

“Come on just take a deep breath-“ Frank is interrupted as Daisy yanked her phone from her pocket and she dialed Karen’s number to Frank’s surprise.

“Hello, Sweetie, do you need anything? Or are you wanting to stay longer or something?” Karen’s questions fall on deaf ears once she heard the first sob through the phone.

“Daisy?” Karen questions, her throat tightens. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I …” Daisy sobs harder. “I wanna go home… can… can you come pick me up?”

“Of course,” Karen said without hesitation, Daisy heard The sound of her keys through the phone.

“Daisy, can you tell me what happened?” Karen questioned.

“can I tell you when you come?” Daisy’s voice is nothing more than a whimper. “I just wanna go home.”

Karen swallows back all of her questions but she doesn’t argue. “Alright, Sweetheart, .. I’m on my way.”

Karen arrived thirty minutes later and a tearful Daisy explained everything that happened after practically crashing into her mother’s arms. Frank couldn’t bring himself to look at Karen or Daisy but he could already picture her face from her tone of voice alone.

The ride home was silent. But the bottle had been waiting for him and Frank welcomed the warmth of it. At least it didn’t burn the back of his throat the way Daisy jerking away from him did.

Maybe he should’ve said sorry one more time. And maybe the hesitation and expression of Daisy’s face should’ve spoken volumes alone.

The little things of Daisy being excited solely to spend time with him, of Daisy attempting to explain to him so they could still have their day together. And Karen stopped putting Daisy on the phone after that.

Frank had hoped it’d only been Karen protecting their daughter. But he knew.. he knew Daisy wouldn’t take the phone even if it was handed to her or she wouldn’t respond. So Karen had given up on giving into Frank’s requests to speak to Daisy because she didn’t want to, not anymore.

#criminal case #frank knight #daisy knight #amy young #karen knight

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sapphicneige · 1 year

Text

I think I lost myself the day you left (1/1)

Words: 919 Rating: T Pairing: AvaTrice

Summary: How can it all change so fast? From everything to nothing, just like that? And all that time we'll never get back…

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Notes: I decided to write just a short thing based off of whatever song Spotify shuffled into, and I was given Suddenly Strangers by Lauren Aquilina if you've never heard the song before, then I recommend it, after all I listened to it on repeat while writing this.

This is also completely different from anything I've written before, so I have no idea how good it is, but I just wanted to write something short to just throw out there.

(Also, this is my first time cross posting here, so I'm just seeing if it works. You can also read on AO3!)

----

It’s the absence of a familiar comfort that’s the hardest thing.

Sure, the unknown of it all is unbearable. How she doesn’t know where Ava is? There’s no way to know if she’ll ever get to see her again, or if they’ll ever have a chance to catch up on everything they never had the opportunity to do. It’s unbearable to think about.

But that doesn’t compare at all to how so much of what she’s become accustomed to has been ripped away from her in just a few moments. There’s no horribly bad puns that she loves. There’s no constant back and forth of quips. There’s no bright smile that just seemed to always be there when she needed it most.

Ava knew her, better than anyone else she’d ever met. Somehow that was the truth despite the realistically short time they’d known each other, lived with each other… loved each other. And that was the truth of it all, the thing that threw her off the most when she’d watched Ava disappear right in front of her eyes, she didn’t just lose Ava, but she'd lost a piece of herself.

She doesn’t know what it is that makes her come to the decision she does. Maybe it’s the fact that Ava has found a purpose outside of the order, and maybe it’s time for her to do the same. Maybe it’s the fact that so much of this place, the people inside it, remind her of her time with Ava. Maybe it’s the fact that at some point the place she calls home had shifted from The Cat’s Cradle to Ava, and that was a one way shift.

Whatever the reason is, she knows it’s the correct one long before she finally tips over the edge of committing to it. And it’s clear that the others know it as well, possibly before she does. So, when Mother Superion approaches her saying that there are new recruits looking to be trained, there’s an understanding between them. This isn’t a statement to ask “Are you ready to continue your teaching?” this is a statement to ask “Are you ready to leave yet?”

So, when she responds that they’ll have to find someone else to train the recruits, there’s no surprise between the two of them, just an understanding. Even Camilla seems to just know, though she’s worse at hiding her sadness.

It’s hard. To leave behind your family, your life, and everything you’ve known. To step out into the unknown in search of something that you have no idea what it even is.

Because when your entire home disappears through a portal to another dimension, it leaves you feeling empty, and the place that used to be your house feeling even emptier.

----

At first she just travels. She doesn’t know where she’s going to end up, or even where her next destination will be.

It takes her to Madrid, where she finds herself doing all the touristy things Ava wanted to do.

It takes her to England, where she stands outside her family’s home and whispers a thank you and a goodbye.

Ultimately, though, her journey takes her to Switzerland. Because it was always going to end up back there.

It’s strange; to be here without Ava. It’s strange to be anywhere without Ava, but this place, it was theirs. She makes her way to what used to be their apartment quietly hoping–pleading–that she’ll push open the door and find a familiar face staring back at her.

Unfortunately, it’s empty. Still exactly as they left it. The warmth she’d always brought being sucked away leaving the entire place cold and dark.

Maybe it’s then that it truly hits her, that the person she used to want to talk to every waking hour is now gone. That there’s no way for her to ever know where Ava is.

She tries to sleep in the bed, but it’s too hard. It’s empty without Ava, the space being filled only by lost promises and dreams of breaking vows that she’d never have been tempted to break with any other person.

Somehow, Hans knows. They never talk about what exactly, but he knows. It only takes a few days back at the Bar La Vasseur for her to fall back into her old routine, minus the one thing that made it whole.

She loses track of time. Hours blend into days, that blend into weeks, that blend into months.

No one actually asks her where Ava is. Part of her is angry, why don’t they care, she was a big part of their lives too. Part of her is relieved, she doesn’t have to admit to them that she doesn’t know.

She has to settle for a new normal–a new life–one without the OCS, without devils and angels, but also without Ava.

It’s hard, but she manages it. It might’ve been a few months, a couple of years, she doesn’t truly know, but she gets used to her life now.

Still, each night, she can’t help but cry. She still wonders if Ava heard Beatrice say she loves her.

If there was ever a chance the two of them could find each other, she already knows exactly what she would say.

“I think I lost myself the day you left.” She says it out loud, each and every night. Hoping one day, Ava might find a way to respond the way she’s always expected her to.

“Well then… it’s time to find yourself again.” Ava’s voice whispers as she steps into the room.

#ava x beatrice #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #warrior nun fic #warrior nun s2 #warrior nun #one shot #emotions #I was in tears while writing a lot of this

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tarmac-rat · 11 months

Note

dirty banana, woo woo and Manhattan for the drink ask? 👉👈

Of course! Here we are:

𝗱𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗮 〜 post a song or a lyric that fits your oc

You woke up this morning, the world turned upside down Things ain't been the same since the Blues walked into town But you're one in a million, you got that shotgun shine (shame about it) Born under a bad sign, with a blue moon in your eyes

Yes, I know this is the theme for The Sopranos, the full song still slaps.

𝘄𝗼𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗼 〜 what’s their relationship like with their parent(s)/guardian(s)?

Riley's relationship with her mother Ivy is...strained, at the time of the game's first act. The pair of them are overall quite close, mostly because Riley and Ivy are very similar in personality and Ivy was a pretty constant presence in her daughter's life, but when the Bakkers dissolve, they get into an argument concerning Riley's desire to leave the life behind. She doesn't not WANT to, but because she'd spent most of her life chasing after her dream to become a high-ranking member of the Bakkers, she doesn't want to sacrifice that dream to become canon fodder for Snake Nation. They have a pretty bitter argument fueled by a lot of grief and anger, and they part ways not on the best of terms. They love each other to death, but by the time they want to make up, there's too much distance and time between the two of them for Riley to seek her out.

Her father Felix was never in the picture-- he was a low-ranking member of a smuggler gang in New Mexico that Ivy had a one night stand with in 2052 and wasn't really eager to leave his life behind when Ivy (not knowing she was already pregnant) offered him a spot in the clan. He doesn't know he has kids running around until Riley seeks him out sometime after the game's plot wraps up.

𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗻 〜 what kind of people does your oc hate the most?

Liar and cheaters. Riley despises dishonesty, especially when it ends up putting other people in danger. Her relationship with Wakako is especially rocky because of this, since Wako tends to withhold information on gigs and Riley gets irritated by the bajillion hidden agendas lying around. If you lie to her, she's going to find it very hard to trust you at all. The fact that Jackie was actually very forthright with her in the end of the nomad intro was a huge reason that she took to him so hard-- even though he confessed to wanting to take her cut and bolt, the fact that he admitted it to her outright rather than hiding it went a long way to earning her usually-very-difficult-to-earn trust.

The fact that she and Johnny ever got along despite this is a fucking mystery.

#lets-jam #Riley Aldana #Thank you!!!!!! Enjoy more lore splurge :3

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ljsstories · 2 years

Text

Chapter Two: ScotRok Festival

For the past fortnight Jane had packed and unpacked her suitcase multiple times. She and Louise were only staying in a Glasgow hotel for a few days and it was only half an hour's drive back to Kilmarnock but Jane was still having second thoughts about going at all. She couldn't tell Louise, she wouldn't understand, for Jane's doubts never really went away. When Jane made a decision, it wasn't done and dusted and final, she would constantly reassess her decision and bring up the pros and cons almost every day. This was one of these decisions, one of these situations where Jane was overthinking it, she was doubting herself and fighting the desperate urge to back out. As she stood by her bed looking down at the suitcase, almost packed...again, she thought about seeing her favourite band live. Was she ready to escape her comfort zone just yet? It had been five months since she started seeing Doctor Fisher, surely she was ready by now. The only one against you...is you! Wasn't that what she had said the first time they met? All the odds were stacked in her favour; she had the week off, Louise had planned the whole week, they had tickets, Dexter Maloney was going to be there singing his heart out...the only thing standing in her way was indeed her. She tried to put the past few weeks behind her; Nancy giving her the cold shoulder on a daily basis, Eliza's constant torture of her winning tickets to see her idol, Jane's mother clucking away at her like a mother hen and lecturing her on the dangers of Glasgow the big bad city. It took a lot for Monica to move to Kilmarnock, to her Glasgow was exactly as it was portrayed in Taggart, murder city! Jane had to try and shut out her mother's omnipresent negativity. She also had to come to terms with the fact that along with the PCOS and the blue eyes, there was also Monica's anxiety in the all-inclusive package that Jane had been given at birth.

Downstairs Eliza was yammering away about Jensen Reed and the new film that just came out, how he was definitely a contender for the Oscars next year once again, how gorgeous he was even playing a patient in a psychiatric ward. If Jane had to hear his name uttered once more, she was going to scream, better yet she was going to tear down those stupid posters on Eliza's wall and burn them right in front of her. No she wasn't, Jane didn't do impulsive, she did cautious. Extracting revenge wasn't in her make-up. "It's amazing how he is still hot wearing a straitjacket and talking in tongues, or whatever, I still love him!" Eliza giggled and looked off into the distance with a dreamy look on her heavily caked face. Why she insisted on wearing so much make-up was beyond Jane's comprehension, because despite hating her little sister, she couldn't deny how naturally pretty she was. She didn't need all that crap on her face. Maybe Doctor Fisher was right, maybe Eliza was insecure and seeking validation, only not from Jane but from the world. Jane shuddered, she was getting way too deep for this Friday evening, it was fish and chips night from the café at the top of the road and then it was time to get some rest. The tickets Louise got for ScotRok were for Saturday and Sunday only, Sweet Cacophony were playing on both days and Jane could not wait...also Jane was terrified! Unexpectedly, she felt her heart speed up to a gallop as she struggled for air, no...no panic attack, not now! Her eyes blurred, she felt that all too familiar dizziness envelope her head and her limbs turned to jelly. She closed her eyes and took in a long breath, then out, it began to pass as she continued to breathe slowly in and out with her eyes firmly shut. As the moment passed, she sat on her bed in silence, still breathing in and out. For the past few months Jane had managed to stop a panic attack in its tracks before curling up into the foetal position and wanting to die, she was always proud of herself when she staved off an attack like this one and rather than deter her from going forward with her planned week with Louise, this only made her more determined to go and enjoy herself.

***

The festival was packed, everyone was being searched at the gate for anything suspect including food and drink, the organisers made a fortune selling their own stuff and discouraged festival goers to bring their own from outside the stage area. Louise had her trusty bag with her, she had hidden compartments everywhere in that thing, like the shoulder bag version of a Swiss army knife and was smuggling contraband in with her. Once again Jane was a bag of nerves, terrified that they would get caught with a naughty little bottle of water and a bag of flying saucers. Once they were safely in, and still in possession of their illegal goods, they watched a few lesser-known bands on various stages and some better known on the main stage. All in all Saturday was a good day, despite being unable to get into Sweet Cacophony's set, there was always tomorrow and this time they would get there good and early. Live and learn, as Jane's granny used to say.

Sunday was slightly quieter, which was just as well, as Louise led Jane by the arm to the front of the stage where Sweet Cacophony were playing. Within half an hour the place was full of bodies all chattering away excitedly. The huge screen at the back of the stage lit up making Jane jump, then want to gag as River Monster's logo appeared on it in enormous letters. "Fuck, Lou we're at the wrong stage!" she muttered as Louise looked up from her phone looking bemused.

"What are you on about?"

"LOOK!" Jane shouted over the ever-swelling crowd of people laughing and chanting, pointing her arm up towards the offending logo. Louise's face drained of colour at the sight of the big screen as they both looked around for a way out but being at the front made it virtually impossible to leave. Then the band started to arrive, one by one; guitarist and backing vocalist Kris Spencer, bass player and guitarist T.J. Chambers then keyboard player Bradley Jenkins, yes Jane knew all of their names and what instruments they played courtesy of Eliza who never shut up about them. Jane felt a cold sweat trickle down her back as the drummer and fourth member of the band, Jonah Reed, came running on waving his drumsticks in the air. Jonah was Jensen's younger brother and just as cocky. Only one band member left to appear, the pimple on Jane's backside, Jensen fucking Reed! He swaggered onstage with his guitar hanging from his shoulders waving his arms about and addressing the crowd through a microphone he was holding way too close to his mouth. He was wearing sunglasses, hiding those famous baby blues that made most women go weak at the knees, his ridiculously shiny brown hair was down to his shoulders and effortlessly bounced around and landed in flattering positions as he walked making him even more handsome. Well if you liked that sort of thing, Jane did not! He was wearing a black t-shirt that was very loose on his slender frame, it had the River Monster logo on it too, his skinny ripped jeans made his legs look even bonier than usual and his taste in footwear made Jane jealous, a pair of black converse high tops with red flames emblazoned on the sides. He approached the front of the stage and placed the microphone on its stand, that's when it all came rushing back, the immense hatred for him and the urge to gouge out his perfectly sparkling blue eyes.

"Is everyone havin' a good time?" He yelled over the microphone as the crowd reacted positively and noisily to him, "I can't fuckin' hear you, I said...IS EVERYONE HAVIN' A GOOD TIME???" The crowd cheered, shrieked, and whooped even louder as the band started up and Jensen Reed began to sing their first hit song, Broken Fireworks. Jane stood there, at the front, arms crossed and a face that would turn milk sour. Louise was still looking around the crowd for a gap to sneak out of and catch the rest of Sweet Cacophony's set. As time dragged on, Jensen was continually obnoxious, he persisted on lifting his shirt to reveal his toned midriff and shouted about taking a dozen of the lovely women in the crowd back to his hotel room, Jane felt sick. Louise gave her an apologetic shrug as they endured an entire two hours of the Jensen Reed show. In one particular monologue he talked about the size of his manhood and how he would show the crowd but he was told it wasn't appropriate for the middle of the day in the open air, he was exactly as Jane had imagined, a narcissistic potty mouth who talked constant trash! It was the worst two hours of her life, even though Jensen Reed was a phenomenal singer and his songs were actually tolerable. At one point he actually looked down in Jane's direction and winked at her, while she almost threw up. He got a few people up on stage for the final song, End of Everything, mostly females of course. Jane had never felt so mad, watching him jump around and be adored by the entire crowd was too much. Her heart thumped in her chest ferociously, almost as if it was going to burst out and projectile across the stage and land at his feet. Louise elbowed her just in time and shoved her towards a small gap in the crowd as they made their hasty exit, unfortunately it was too late for Sweet Cacophony and Jane wanted to cry. She had missed Dexter Maloney!

Rather than look for other bands to watch, Jane insisted on going back to the hotel. She was in an extremely bitter mood and didn't want to be within ten miles of Jensen bloody Reed. Louise tried to talk to her on the car ride back, but she couldn't even answer her she was so livid. How did they manage to go to the wrong stage? How could they have missed Sweet Cacophony? How did they survive two whole hours of Jensen Reed? Jane opened the car door before Louise had even stopped in the parking space and stomped into the hotel foyer. Stabbing at the buttons outside the elevator, she muttered to herself feeling her cheeks burn. "Janey?" Louise tapped her shoulder.

"WHAT?" Jane replied grumpily.

"Look we can go and see them somewhere else, it's no big deal!" No big deal? Five whole months of therapy destroyed in two hours! No, Louise was right, it was no big deal...it was a huge deal!

"I just want to take a long, hot shower and wash away all that Jensen muck off of me, alright?" Louise nodded in agreement as they entered the elevator and headed up to their room.

After standing in the shower for a good half an hour, Jane finally emerged from the hotel bathroom in her pyjamas and wet hair hanging carelessly down her back. Her suitcase was sitting on top of her bed, it was open and clothes were half in and half out. Without hesitation she began to shove everything inside, re-entering the bathroom and gathering up her toiletries she threw them inside the case also as Louise looked on in confusion as she sat on her own bed. "What are you doing Janey?"

"I'm going home!" Jane replied with a grunt.

"But we have another week left, I have plans for us..."

"Yeah well, I want to go home!" Louise looked more sad than anything else, usually she got angry with Jane's impulsive tantrums. This week, it had been planned for such a long time, okay they didn't get to see Sweet Cacophony, but there was so much more for them to do! It looked like Jane was having none of it though, as she zipped her bulging suitcase closed roughly.

"Jane, this is stupid! Let's just enjoy the rest of our week. Why don't you sleep on it?" Trying not to lose her temper, Louise attempted to reason with her visibly enraged best friend.

"I'm going home tomorrow Lou, don't need to sleep on it!" Louise lost control and snapped.

"Well you can take the fucking train because I'm not driving you home!!!" Louise stood up and stormed out of the hotel room, leaving Jane to stew all by herself. Jensen Reed took up way too much of her life, the whole thing was all Jane's own making, and Louise was sick of it.

***

Taking Louise's words to heart, Jane got up early the next morning and headed to Central Station. It was a ten-minute walk from the hotel and her suitcase had wheels, which was helpful due to the sheer weight of it, carrying was not an option unless she wanted to end up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. Sitting across from a coffee shop in the station waiting for her train, Jane wondered if she was cutting off her nose to spite her face. Should she have just stayed and tried to enjoy the rest of her week off with Louise? No, Jensen Reed destroyed all of her hopes and dreams once again with his stupid hair and annoying smile, grating voice that made you want to rip your own ears off...bastard! Sipping on the cappuccino she had bought was probably not a good idea, she was in a foul mood and caffeine only made Jane aggressive.

The train ride home was lonely and quiet. She felt bad for leaving Louise, but she couldn't stand to be in Glasgow for a minute longer, she just wanted to go home to her own bed and get on with her life. Then she remembered Eliza's competition win and the posters on her wall and the music blaring out of her room around the clock...and the rage boiled up again. I can't escape him, he's everywhere! Hot tears stung her cheeks as she glanced out of the window and saw sheep grazing in fields looking like they didn't have a care in the world, at that moment she wished she was a sheep, in the sheep world there was no Jensen Reed!

Monica was surprised to see her daughter appear at such an early time in the morning, dragging her suitcase mournfully across the back-room carpet and bumping it up the stairs in almost slow motion. "What are you doing here Jane? Aren't you supposed to be in Glasgow with Louise?"

"Please don't talk to me mum, I'm not in the mood!"

"Well tough!" Monica shouted back at her in a shrill tone, mug of tea in hand she followed her up the stairs with plenty of questions ready to fire in her direction. "Where's Louise?"

"Still in Glasgow!" Jane answered quietly as she elbowed her bedroom door open, hot on her heels her mother made several tutting sounds and slurped her tea noisily.

"Did you two have a falling out? I hope not, she's been a very good friend to you Jane, not many people would put up with your silly little...foibles!" Yes, Jane's silly little foibles, anxiety, and depression, two things that she inherited from her in the first place.

"Well they do say that being a nutter runs in the family!" The look of horror on Monica's face almost made Jane laugh, but she managed to compose herself.

"Jane you are not a nutter, you're just a very hard person to deal with. You're stubborn and you tend to shy away from anything remotely social, you're almost twenty seven and you still live here with me and your dad, you haven't brought a young man home in over ten years! I worry about you Janey, I really do."

"Well you always have Eliza to give you grandchildren!" Jane muttered irritably.

"That is not what worries me, I don't care about grandchildren Jane, I care about you! I just want you to be happy, if that means I don't get to be a grandmother then I don't mind, your happiness is all that matters!" Jane felt her eyes fill up as she turned her back on her mother, trying to sniff back any tears that attempted to fall.

"That's the thing though mum..." Time to be honest, even if it hurt her mother in the process, she needed to tell someone, "...I'm not happy! I'm so not happy, I'm miserable! I don't want to live anymore I really don't!" Jane's shoulders slumped and she turned to face her mother. Monica's face was ashen and her mug was tilting to the side in her hand. The expression on her face was one of astonishment, like someone had smacked her right across the cheek. There was a long silence before either of them spoke.

"I thought...I thought your appointments with Doctor Fisher were helping I...Jane I don't know what to do or say. Only that your dad and I both love you very much and we're always here for you." Monica placed her mug on top of Jane's desk and wrapped her in a warm, forceful hug. "Just tell me what I can do, what do you need?"

"I don't know mum!" Jane mumbled into her shoulder smelling her dressing gown, her mum's scent always calmed her but not this time, "I just feel so empty, and when I'm not feeling empty I feel so angry at everything and everyone! It's exhausting!" Monica rubbed her back affectionately and whispered in her ear.

"What is my darling?" Jane let out a heart wrenching sob and replied with just one, single word.

"Living!"

***

Jane hadn't heard from Louise in over three weeks, nor had Jane tried to contact Louise, there was a stalemate. They had argued before but it always blew over within minutes and it was forgotten, it had never gone on for this long. Jane was down about missing her favourite band, she was down about having to endure Jensen Reed's appalling antics for two whole hours, she was down about Eliza going on like a lunatic about her tickets, then there was Nancy. When Jane got back to work, Nancy had been unbearable, worse than ever, putting her in for shifts she didn't agree to and just being downright nasty in general. Jane had worked ten days in a row while Nancy was up in Lewis visiting her mother and relatives, she was exhausted and drained and needed a day off but had her own shifts to cover for the next four days. When Nancy returned on the Monday, Jane lost the will to live when she was put in for Ashley's Friday night shift along with her own which was going to result in her working fifteen days without a day off. "Nancy I can't do Friday!" Nancy turned a fetching shade of crimson and inhaled a sharp breath.

"Why not???" She blinked at her; her voice taking on an accusatorial tone, this was the last straw for Jane. It was none of her business why, Jane was entitled to refuse to work someone else's shift after racking up fourteen days in a row.

"Well if you must know, I need a day off! I'll be working an entire fortnight without a break as it is, I'm not doing her shift I'm sorry!" Nancy gave her the silent treatment after that, it was embarrassing in front of the customers, and any time that she did speak to her she bit her head off. Jane went home that night, sat down at her desk, and wrote her letter of resignation, she couldn't take any more!

The following morning, before Nancy arrived for her shift, Jane placed the resignation letter on top of the till behind the bar in plain sight. She also handed one into the chairman upstairs who tried very hard to change her mind, but she had already decided. Going into work that night was a combination of relief and dread, she still had to face Nancy. The old come into the toilets for a chat technique was attempted but Jane was having none of it, "No I won't!" She answered Nancy's request.

"Just for a minute, to talk?"

"No Nancy, I'm not going anywhere with you, not without a witness!" Nancy let out a small, stunned laugh and her eyes were as wide as saucers.

"That's a bit drastic, don't you think?" She replied to Jane breathily, her accent thicker than usual, obviously not understanding the seriousness of the situation, just Jane having one of her turns.

"No I don't think it's drastic when it comes to employment law!" Jane stood her ground, it had been a long time coming, almost a whole decade in fact. Nancy put her head down and gathered her things together.

"Well I'm very sorry you feel that way." Were her parting words, as she left without speaking to another soul. When the door shut behind her, Jane let out a breath she'd been holding in since she came in. By the end of the week she would never have to deal with that woman ever again. The only thing she regretted was leaving a job she loved. The fact that she was just handing in a week's notice and walking away should have been a reason for Nancy to thank her. Jane could have taken the club and the bar manager to an industrial tribunal for bullying in the workplace, but all she wanted was to get away from the whole toxic situation.

Over the course of Jane's final week, many of the members gave her good luck cards and bought her drinks, sad to see her go. There were some exceptions though, Nancy's clique, the President and Vice President of that clique being Molly and Dougie Egglesfield. They were Nancy's spies when she came off shift, they watched everything that Jane did and reported back, they were likely the ones who made complaints about her attitude. Jane looked at them sitting there, being uncharacteristically quiet, remembering one time when she arrived for a shift with a particularly painful headache. Jane was never one to be able to hide her feelings, pain was not something she could hide either. The first she knew of her feelings being painted all over her face was when Nancy ended her shift and sat at the bar with the Egglesfields, Dougie whispered to her "What's up with her face tonight?" nodding his head towards Jane as Nancy simply shrugged and sipped her vodka and coke. Later, when Nancy had gone home, Dougie had asked Jane "You okay pal?"

"Yes." Jane smiled as she poured a mixer from the gun into a glass, "Just have a really bad headache, but hopefully the painkillers will kick in soon." She saw the look of guilt on his face, miscalling her for something she couldn't control and meant no harm over, it had to be more than a coincidence that shortly after that particular exchange Nancy informed Jane of the complaints against her. Then again, Jane could have been wrong and the members could genuinely have hated her guts.

Her final shift was quiet, uneventful, and sad. Two of the regular ladies had given her flowers and a card and told her that they would really miss her. She closed up for the last time, turned off the lights, locked the door and walked away from something that had been a huge part of her life for nearly a decade. She got home where her parents were sitting in the front lounge watching late night television. Monica stood up and outstretched her arms, tilting her head to the side she mumbled, "Aww Janey, how was it?"

"Fine!" Jane sighed impatiently, she just wanted to go upstairs and wallow all by herself.

"Come here, I want a cuddle!" Her mother insisted, who was she to deny her? Obviously she needed it more than Jane did so she obliged. Wrapped in her mother's arms, she realised that she did need this, and the tears came. Her dad, not taking his eyes off of the television and sipping a can of beer chipped in.

"You will be missed Janey, who's going to decorate for Halloween and Christmas? Because I can tell you now, it won't be that lazy bitch!"

"Ricky!" Her mother scolded him, but secretly she agreed. Both her parents were members of the club, her dad being ex-army and on the committee. They may not have agreed with her leaving, but they stood by her regardless.

"I'm telling you! Davey is raging! He says he's lost his best barmaid!"

"Well of course he said that to you, you're my dad. What else is he going to say?" Jane muttered while trying to pry herself out of Monica's firm hold.

Once she got upstairs, after holding her breath as she passed Eliza's room blaring out River Monster, she dropped her bag on the floor and fell onto her bed and wept. She really was going to miss her job, she had nothing else lined up, it was just a spur of the moment thing she had decided to do. She had been at the end of her rope, no matter what Nancy would have said in the toilets had Jane gone with her, nothing would have changed her mind. She looked up at the night sky through the Velux window wishing she was on Mars, anywhere but here. Still hearing the thumping drums of Jonah Reed coming from Eliza, she wanted to close her eyes and never wake up. She had contemplated taking her own life many times over the past ten years, but this was different, she saw no end to her sadness. There was nothing for her in this world, what was the point of even being here. "I'm fat, ugly and jobless! Probably barren, have a terrible attitude, I'm rude...yeah a real catch!" Jane laughed bitterly to herself, not even having Louise to talk to during this whole ordeal was pushing her over the edge.

***

Jane didn't know when she fell asleep, fully clothed, on top of her bed but as she awoke the next morning she could hear the voices of her family downstairs in the kitchen. The television was blaring too, what time was it? She patted all over her bed for her phone, when she finally grasped a hold of it screwing her eyes to focus on the screen, it read 8:09am. Why was Eliza gibbering away like a budgie down there at this time on a Saturday morning?

Jane padded downstairs, still in her work clothes from the night before to see her sister sitting crossed legged on the floor with her nose practically pressed to the screen of the television, giggling away like a teenager. Over her head, Jane could see Jensen Reed sitting on the couch on Good Morning UK with that dazzling smile of his, wearing sunglasses in a studio?

Interviewer: So Jensen, the new film, Method of Madness. It's only July and there is already talk of an Oscar nod, were you expecting such a reaction to your performance?

Jensen: No, um, not at all! I was just so honoured to be working alongside such amazing actors that it was a dream for me to be in this movie. Anything else is...is just a bonus for me!

Gag! What a suck up, Jane thought to herself as she plopped down onto one of the seats behind Eliza who was bouncing up and down with excitement. Why was Jane even watching this? She hated the guy. Curiosity had a lot to answer for.

Interviewer: Is it true you watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest over a hundred times to prepare yourself for the role of Randy Burgess?

Jensen: Well, you know, I'm amazed at where people get these so-called facts from I really am. Yes I researched the role of Randy by watching several films similar to this one, it's something that most actors do, or watch documentaries about the subject matter. I wanted my portrayal of him to be genuine and authentic, so you do what you gotta do I suppose.

Interviewer: Now, onto your band, River Monster. Do you find it difficult touring with them and also promoting the film? I can imagine your work schedule is practically bursting at the seams.

Jensen: Well I'm a workaholic, so...yeah it's hard work juggling both careers but I love them equally and always find the time to do what I love. Oh and the tour starts here in the UK at the end of this month, O2 Arena! We've got the new album coming out tomorrow, Read the Room, our fifth album I should say...it's very personal to me...

Wow he was so full of his own importance, always talking about himself and never even mentioning the other members of the band, it was all me me me! Eliza was still giggling and bouncing as he talked, talked, and talked even more. "He's so hot!"

"Yeah sure, why does he wear sunglasses all the time these days? I mean he's indoors for fucks sake!" Jane mumbled behind her; this was met with Eliza's scowling face as she turned from the television.

"He's shy. You of all people should appreciate that he gets nervous when he does interviews!"

"He never used to wear sunglasses all the time Eliza, if you ask me since he won that Oscar he's climbed so far up his own arse no wonder he talks so much shite!" Eliza let out a tiny squeal and her face turned red. She didn't answer her sister, merely stood up and stomped off into her room. Jane watched the clip of his new film play after his interview ended, there was no denying that he was also a very good actor. It was just such a shame that despite all of that talent he was a really shitty person in real life.

Over the course of the next week, he was everywhere, spouting the same shit in every interview. It was taking its toll on Jane's already fragile mental health. Doctor Fisher had insisted on extending her sessions from eight to twelve as she had fallen slightly backwards in her progress. Louise had sent a text saying she was sorry to hear that Jane had left the club and that she was here if she needed to talk, but Jane merely replied with a thanks and left it at that. The problem was that Jane didn't want to talk, however much she needed to.

Jane retreated upstairs and barely left, no job to go to, no best friend to have a laugh with. Things were awkward between her and Louise despite the olive branch in the form of a text, she knew Louise would still be upset with her. Jane avoided everyone, barely went downstairs except for eating and collecting mail, while Eliza was psyching herself up for her big date with Jensen Reed in a few weeks' time. She was currently spending the entire summer break from college with her two henchwomen while Jane withered away up in her attic. Eliza was doing a beauty course at Ayrshire College just down the road from their home, she was thoroughly enjoying it and constantly pestered their mother to do her nails for practice. Monica had lovely nails and she could grow them without any bother, unlike Jane, if she wasn't biting them as a child then they were just breaking off over the slightest thing as an adult. Eliza wouldn't practice on her anyway, they weren't close enough for that.

Jane couldn't stand to listen to her sister talk about that man, it made her want to scream. There was no escaping him, he was on the radio, the television, in magazines, on social media...he was literally everywhere! Jane was even starting to dream about him and it was driving her round the bend. During her most recent session with Doctor Fisher, she felt she needed to discuss this particular thorn in her side no matter how ridiculous it sounded. "He's just everywhere right now and I hate it!"

"Hmm, yes I can understand why he would bother you Jane. You associate him with unpleasant experiences but I tend to agree with your friend, these incidents, and the fact that this individual happens to be on the radio or television at the time of each event is just a coincidence. What we need to do is focus your energy on a project, something to bring you out of your comfort zone again."

"Pfft, yeah because it worked so well last time!" Jane retorted as Doctor Fisher frowned.

"Yes well that was just down to poor navigation and timing Jane, not this man out to get you." Jane wished she could believe that but she wasn't in the right frame of mind to think logically. "Let's try again, why don't you go out to a bar or a café and have a couple of drinks with your friend, that's nothing too strenuous or stressful. Just two friends out for a chat?" Jane huffed and crossed her arms, sinking deeper into the comfy chair opposite Doctor Fisher who at that moment had a strained smile on her face. Obviously Jane was the client from hell. "It will only work for you if you are willing to work Jane, effort and patience go a long way!"

"I'll give it a go." Was Jane's half-hearted reply.

"Good, because I am concerned about the amount of time you are spending hidden away since you left your job, it's not at all healthy. Perhaps looking for another one might give you a new purpose?" It was worth a try, but Jane didn't have the energy nor the inclination to look for another job.

***

A few days crept by and Jane's mood still hadn't lifted, not even the tiniest bit. She still kept herself hidden away in her room upstairs, listening to Sweet Cacophony and weeping into her pillows. A harsh knock on the door made her jump but when it followed the voice of her best friend, it soothed her. "Janey I'm coming in, I don't give a rat's ass if you're decent or not, this has gone on long enough!" The door opened and Louise stood in the hallway, seeing the little bundle under Jane's duvet, she tilted her head to the side with a frown. "Right, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up! It's the middle of the day and the sun is shining; we're going out into the garden so get dressed if you're not already!" With that she slammed the door shut, Jane could hear her stomping down the stairs as she lay still in her bed, knowing she had no choice but to get up and get dressed, but struggling to find the energy to do it.

Louise was sitting in the garden crocheting yet another sanity blanket as she called it, sunglasses on and a look of complete concentration. "Finally! I was beginning to think I'd have to drag you down the stairs wrapped in that duvet!" Jane let out a small laugh, she could just imagine her doing that, bumping her down the stairs and not caring if it hurt. Louise did tough love very well. "You didn't text or phone, I was worried about you Janey!"

"Yeah well...I've not really been in the talking or texting mood."

"I understand that it was a tough decision to give up your job, but you should have at least fought the bitch! Taken her to an industrial tribunal! She got off lightly!" Louise didn't look up from her blanket as she lectured her, she always thought that Jane was far too lenient with people.

"Do we have to talk about this? Can't you just tell me what you've been up to instead?" Jane stomped her foot lazily and whined like a child.

"No, because I'm not the one holed up in my room like Miss Havisham! Look Jane, you're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Live it!" Jane knew that Louise was right, but she just couldn't find the get-up-and-go. "On that note..." Louise bundled her project under her arm and rose from the garden chair, "...we're going down to the pound shops for a browse, get you out of the house before I strangle you with this blanket!" There was no point in arguing with her when she was like this, so Jane reluctantly agreed to dip her toe in the land of the living.

Jane had to admit that she had enjoyed her afternoon out with her best friend, Louise had told her that this past couple of months hadn't exactly been a picnic for her either as she had missed Jane a great deal. She told her that Jane's tantrum and subsequent walk-out had hurt her a lot, in turn this hurt Jane, to know that she was responsible for making Louise miserable for weeks and not even getting in touch with her. In fact it had been Louise that had made the first move a couple of weeks ago, Jane had a lot to make up for. Louise stayed for dinner then headed back to Glasgow and Jane was alone once again, apart from her parents and sister, she was completely alone.

Eliza was not only blasting River Monster from her room, but she was also singing at the top of her lungs, out of tune, to their latest album. Jane had listened to bits of it on Spotify and was surprised over how melancholy and depressing it was. Read the Room was darker and broodier than their last four albums, whoever wrote these songs was in a very bad place at the time. Remembering Eliza telling her that Jensen Reed wrote all of their songs, she wondered why his tone was so depressing all of a sudden, yes there were usually angry or heartbroken tracks on most of the albums, but there was always an equal mix of happy and not so happy emotions, this one was just bleak right through. Jane hated to admit that a lot of the lyrics resonated with her at that moment in time, it disturbed and comforted her all at once. The titles of the songs alone were enough to make you want to jump out the window in despair; Save Me from Myself, Apathetic, I Hate Your Voice, Fuck You Very Much, Lie After Lie and Jane's particular favourite, Just A Thing. That was about how people just saw an object rather than a human being, took that person for granted and thought it was okay to do or say whatever they wanted to that person and damn the consequences. They were pretty deep songs, something that Jane noticed her sister hadn't grasped or in fact read the room. She wrapped herself in a little cocoon and tried to get some sleep over the din of River Monster downstairs. She didn't have the energy to do anything anymore.

***

Showered and dressed the next morning, Jane thought she would try and live normally again, but her good intentions were destroyed at the sight of her sister and her cronies sitting around the television watching yet another Jensen Reed interview, this time he was going on about being a vegan and how the goats of the world could sleep soundly now that he was no longer sacrificing them, then he had to mention virgins too. He saved the best for last when he said that sacrificing virgins was all in his past, he was now dedicated to curing them of their virginity. Any kind of empathy Jane was feeling towards him had evaporated at the sight of that interview. Her sister on the other hand lapped it up with Stacy and Laura at her side, squeaking away like Alvin and the Chipmunks. What an abhorrent little man that Jensen Reed was, how did a creep like that get to live and Will was snuffed out in moments out of the blue? It made Jane so mad, so mad in fact that she stormed past her totally oblivious sister and her vacuous pals and into her room where Jensen towered over her bed, shirtless and smouldering with those glistening baby blue eyes and those tasteful tattoos on his arms, what a total and utter poser! I want you dead, I want you dead, Jane could hear the voice in her head screaming up at his smug face. I want you gone, I don't ever want to see you again, if I have to get rid of you myself then I will!!!

Jane had no idea how she got upstairs, how she ended up in her own room rocking back and forth on her bed hugging her knees up to her chest, clutching Eliza's two VIP tickets that she had won. All she knew was that she had to get rid of that abomination Jensen Reed! Her entire body was shaking, her head felt like cotton wool and there was a searing rage burning in the pit of her stomach, she had to be free of him! She couldn't take any more! She was going to destroy him, just like he had destroyed her...

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mellowswriting · 3 years

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I saw that requests are open! would it be possible for you to write a follow up to Second Chances with javi and reader? Maybe you have another kid and this time javi is able to be there for you throughout the whole pregnancy, and get to experience the first kick, you giving birth, etc (I am a sucker for domestic!javi if you can't tell haha) I think it would be really cute!!

From the Beginning

pairing || Javier Peña x afab!Reader

summary || Javier gets to experience the chaotic excitement of welcoming a new baby to the family.

word count || 6,466

warnings || kid fic, pregnant reader, non-graphic childbirth, some spiciness but no smut, dad!Javi being adorable

a/n || I can’t even express how much I love writing about the boys as dads, especially Javier! I really hope you all enjoy this, it was so very much fun to write.

Main Masterlist | Join the taglist!

Early spring mornings always had a special quality about them. The air was never too hot, pleasantly warm with a hint of a cool breeze that still lingered from winter’s sharp grip. Plants were beginning to bloom, the trees regaining their bright green foliage that ruffled in a symphony with every pass of the wind. Spring was the bringer of warmth after the ice and snow, the nurturer that coaxed seeds to sprout and flourish, the guide for new life and hope.

Ironic, then, that those very qualities you had grown to love were the ones causing you so much inner turmoil that you couldn’t even enjoy the gorgeous morning happening around you. You hadn’t even realized what was happening at first. Mother nature hadn’t exactly gifted you with a cycle that could be easily followed and predicted. Instead you had the supreme pleasure of having to carry around menstrual products everywhere you went and having to replace your underwear far more often than usual. So when you went two months without the waves of cramps and frustration of your period, it wasn’t all that remarkable.

It was when you were doing some last minute grocery shopping the night before that you realized something was off. Well, more off than usual. The sight of the shelves of tampons made your stomach bottom out with realization. You must’ve made quite a sight as you stood in that aisle with a cart half full of food, just staring at tampons with dread. Two boxes of pregnancy tests got tossed in with the various other items in your cart and you hoped that Javier was too tired from work to insist he help you put away the groceries.

For once, the universe appeared to be on your side. Your husband was sitting on the floor with Elianna, a spread of coloring books and crayons scattered on the living room carpet, and he actually listened to you when you waved him off to carry the bags in yourself. The tests were tucked away in the bathroom behind your tampons - ironic, yes, but it was the one place Javier really wouldn’t be poking around.

Honestly, a part of you felt bad for not telling Javier right away. He had more than proven himself as a great father and husband in the nearly two years since he returned to your life. Those irrational little fears of him leaving you and little Ellie had been crushed into nothing in the wake of the role he readily took on with his daughter, but this was different. Maybe it was pretty naive of you to not have that conversation with him, but it was something you thought you still had time for.

The plus sign on the pregnancy tests told you the time for that conversation was now, apparently. You were grateful for the timing of your little realization. Saturday mornings saw the standing trend of your sister whisking Ellie away for some ‘auntie and niece time’, and you really didn’t want her to feel the tension you were carrying. She was such a perceptive little girl that had an eye for everything.

Javier was still asleep. You usually slept in with him on the weekends, but you were restless to find out if your period was just pulling a fast one on you or if you actually were pregnant. Now you had four positive tests sitting in front of you and a sleeping husband who you couldn’t decide whether or not to wake up. Luckily, you ended up not having to make that choice since two sharp raps of his knuckles against the bathroom door snapped you out of your trance.

The door opened a millisecond after you snatched up the tests and hid them behind your back, not so unlike Ellie when she was hiding a treat she wasn’t supposed to have yet. The difference was that you didn’t know if this would be a treat to Javier. He was still half asleep, his thin pajama pants slug low on his hips and his eyes squinted against the bathroom light.

“G’morning,” He grunted as he moved to shuffle past you. “Move over, I gotta piss.”

You were rooted to the spot, though, your brain floundering to gain control of your muscles. “Uhm…”

“What’s wrong?” Javier slowly perked up through his sleepy haze at the realization that you looked downright terrified. He put his hand on your bicep and squeezed slightly. “Is Ellie okay?”

“What? No, yeah, Ellie’s fine. She’s with Amelia.” You spluttered, cringing at your inability to function.

“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Javi pressed. There really wasn’t any hiding things from him. Ellie must get that sharp eye of hers from her father. “What are you holding behind your back?”

You tried to swallow down the thickness that enveloped your throat to form some sort of words, literally anything to convey to him what the hell was going on, but your body was seized with fear. So you held out the tests wordlessly. His eyebrows furrowed as he took the bundle of tests from your hand, staring at them with a split second’s confusion before it dawned on him. “This…? You…?”

“Yeah.” You whispered. The worry in your voice must’ve been obvious because Javier was on you in a second flat, his arms crowding you into his chest with a crushing strength.

“You’re pregnant?” Javier croaked into your neck and the dam of emotion in your chest crumbled. His voice was full of excited disbelief, and relief crashed over you.

“Yeah, I am.” You said with a tearful chuckle, winding your arms around him to burrow yourself even further into his chest. “I know we never really talked about having another kid but… is this something you want, Javi?”

“Fuck, this is ironic.” Javier laughed quietly and when you looked up at him, he avoided your eyes with an almost bashful look. “I was gonna ask you today if you ever thought about it. Do you have any idea how many times I went over it in my head?”

You couldn’t help it - you cracked up laughing. The whole thing was almost ridiculous - the both of you worrying despite wanting the exact same thing. Tears of relief and laughter soaked into his t-shirt as you both broke into chaotic laughter, fingers clutching at each other’s shirts as you tried to catch your breath.

“So, uh… are we doing this?” Javier sounded nervous, his hands rubbing up and down your back as if to reassure himself. “You really wanna have a baby with me? Again?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was choked with a tense mix of emotions, so you cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, I do.”

“I can’t… fuck, I can’t believe you - you’d… thank you.” He babbled, nearly unintelligible in his scramble to convey how fucking grateful he was, but you knew. It wasn’t the first time you had heard the desperate need to spit words he couldn’t really find, the words that matched the swell of emotions in his chest that still wasn’t used to voicing. “Fuck, Ellie’s gonna be such a good big sister.”

That choked you up more than you expected. She really would be, you knew that for a fact, but it was a dream you had boxed up and shoved on a shelf with all your other unrealistic dreams for your future. Never in your life did you let yourself really think you could have the whole package deal - the loving (albeit gruff) husband, the big house, the sound of little feet chasing each other through the halls…

“Wait, how long have you been…? Or do we have to see a doctor first? Oh shit, we have to find a doctor for you, what the fuck are they called..? A fucking... obstetrician!” Javi rambled in a mix of nerves and excitement, breaking from your embrace to pace the length of the bathroom. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help, because -”

“Javi, breathe!” You calmed him with both hands out to stop his walking and braced your hands on his shoulders to rub at him firmly. “We have plenty of time, okay? Let me go make some coffee for you and we can sit down and make a plan. First, didn’t you have to go to the bathroom?”

“Oh… yeah.”

----------

Javier couldn’t stop bouncing his knee. It was a subconscious thing, something he stopped the moment he realized but soon found it moving of its own volition all over again. He really was trying not to let his nerves show even though he knew that you could tell. It was all so new to him, which wouldn’t be a problem if the reminder didn’t gut him every goddamn time. He couldn’t imagine how alone you must have felt the first time around when you were pregnant with Elianna, especially in these cold, sterile doctors offices.

His grip tightened on your hand. The feeling of your fingertips pressed against the top of his hand kept him grounded, helped him remind himself that there was no going back and changing everything else that happened. All he could do was be there this time around, be the best version of himself that he could be for you and his kid - well, kids now. Plural. The excitement was almost enough to drown away the guilt. Javi really could barely believe that he was getting the privilege of experiencing this with you.

“I’ve seen files on drug lords shorter than all that.” Javier nodded at the pile of forms and paperwork you held in your lap and you laughed brightly. He preened a little at the sound. It was something he could never get enough of, that laugh of yours. “I love you.”

You looked up at him, the pen in your hand stopping its constant scratching for the first time in forever, and gave him a lopsided smile. “I love you, too.”

There was no way he wasn’t going to kiss you after that adorable little display. Your cheek felt soft against his palm and the little sigh of relief you huffed against him was addictive. Just knowing that he was an anchor for you made Javier feel so incredibly loved and important and all he wanted to do was imbue you with that same sense of security. He held you close, his hand slipping back to the back of your neck to keep you right where he wanted you, and gave you those soft little kisses that never failed to make you melt.

“Mrs. Peña?” A nurse called out and he had no choice but to let you go with one last peck against your lips. He followed you and the nurse into the exam room, nerves and excitement soaring even higher in his chest.

It was kind of fascinating, watching you answer the nurse’s barrage of questions. Questions about your medical history, how many pregnancies you’ve had, all about your menstrual cycle. The two of you went back and forth for at least fifteen minutes, tossing questions and answers back and forth like a tennis match. The nurse left with the promise of the doctor being in momentarily for an ultrasound.

“Come hold my hand?” You asked, and how could he deny such a sweet request?

“Of course,” He pulled a chair from across the room and settled himself next to the exam table, both of his hands wrapping around one of yours as he brought it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “So what happens now?”

“The doctor will give me an ultrasound. She’ll probably want to run some blood tests, too.” You sighed, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of needles.

“I’ll hold your hand then, too.” Javier promised.

“It’ll be good practice for you, ‘cause once I’m in labor I’ll probably break your hand.” You teased and yeah, broken fingers didn’t sound all that great but fuck, he was more than ready to let you do just that. Javier wanted to be your rock, wanted to support you through it all - especially since he couldn’t the first time.

Two quick knocks sounded against the door made Javier straighten up hastily. The doctor came in with a smile and a large machine wheeling in behind her. “Good morning, mom and dad! How’re we feeling?”

“All good here, Dr. Hall. A little nauseous, but still… good.” You gave Javier’s hand a little squeeze before letting go to unbutton your jeans and fold the waistband down, followed by pulling the hem of your shirt up. It was hard to believe that the beginning of an entire new life was right there between your hips.

“Good to hear!” Dr. Hall fiddled with the ultrasound machine for a moment before turning to you. “So today we’re going to take a look and find out how far along you are, make sure mom and baby both look healthy, okay?”

“Okay,” You and Javier said in unison, and he took your hand again, needing to feel you there with him.

The gel must’ve been cold based on the way you hissed slightly. Javier watched the screen as Dr. Hall trailed the wand over your belly, lips parting at the sight of the black and white image. It was hard to make out what exactly he was seeing at first, but the image shifted slightly and he could make out the tiniest, vague shape of the newest edition to his little family.

“It looks like you’re about ten weeks along.” Dr. Hall murmured without taking her eyes off of the screen. “Baby is about the size of a plum.”

Javier squeezed your hand lightly, the both of you sparing a glance at each other before staring back at the screen in wonder. The doctor pointed out the baby’s head and a little foot as she took her measurements, reassuring you both that everything looked perfect. He gave a rushed “yes, absolutely” when she asked if he wanted the ultrasound photos - there was a spot in his wallet that he had in mind for it already.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been in situations that left him shocked before. This was Javier Peña, after all. Life and career experiences had given him plenty of moments where his mind was completely washed blank with surprise, but never had it been such a good thing. There were so many times that the shock was accompanied by grief or anger, but excitement? Gratefulness? That was new to him, left him reeling the entire drive home, all throughout dinner. Something in the back of his mind nagged at him that he couldn’t be like this when Ellie got home the next day. She was smarter than he could’ve imagined any kid being at three years old and even though he agreed with your assertion that no one should know about your pregnancy for a few more weeks at least, Javier was certain his daughter would be able to needle it out of him.

Those expert interrogation skills must be hereditary.

It wasn’t until he was getting ready for bed that it really hit him how real it was, that you really were sitting in the bed you shared with him, pregnant with his baby and making plans for the usual Sunday brunch and park visit you all did every week. As he set his wallet on the nightstand, he couldn’t help but pull out the little ultrasound picture. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot, especially when the new cadets were driving him crazy at work. It all swelled up in his chest, the appreciation and excitement and disbelief, because holy shit, how did he get so lucky? One finger traced the little image in his hand, and he couldn’t help but blurt out, “Thank you.”

The confused look you gave him made him flounder for the words.

“I just… I know everything was fucked up the first time around but I swear, it’s going to be different this time. I am not going anywhere.” Javier slid closer at the sight of the tears in your eyes, easily welcoming your arms around his neck as you practically drug yourself into his lap. He held you close to his chest, trying to instill the certainty and promise of it all. “God, fuck, and I thought I couldn’t get enough of you before…”

“Javi…” You croaked, laughing wetly into his neck.

“I’m serious! You’re gonna have to tell me to fuck off when you want space because I can’t keep my hands off you.” Javi teased, relief washing over him at your seeming acceptance of his promises. “And now like this, growing my baby… fuck, I am in this with you. Me and you and Ellie… and our little plum.”

That night, Javier fell asleep with his head on your shoulder, his face buried in your neck, and his hand tucked into the waistband of your sweatpants to cradle that precious space that held his newest child.

----------

Ellie couldn’t stop touting her new title to anyone who would listen.

“I’m a big sister!” She told the cashier at the grocery store, the other kids at the park and their moms for good measure, and even the mailman when they came by each morning. The brightness in her eyes when she said it made your heart flip in your chest. You had expected some sort of confusion or even for her to be upset at the idea of a new sibling, but she launched right into a story about how her friend from playgroup has a baby sister, and you knew that she would be just fine.

With your sixteenth week rapidly approaching, you couldn’t be more grateful that Ellie was excited for the new addition to the family. It was one less thing for you to worry about amidst the chaos of bringing a new person into the world. The fatigue was something you definitely didn’t miss about pregnancy - it washed over you without warning, left you nodding off wherever you sat. Thank god Javier was such a hands on father. He had no problem herding Ellie off into the backyard or off for a walk to let you get some much needed rest.

You hadn’t expected him to be such a hands on husband, though. Sure, you knew he was excited and you knew he already loved everything about your body, but he really wasn’t lying when he said pregnancy made him want you even more. Every night, Javi’s hands gravitated to your body to ease the kinks out of your muscles, to rub your feet until the aches went away, to cheekily offer you an orgasm if you were up for one. It made you feel cherished, something you sorely missed the first time you were pregnant.

“Thank you, Javi,” You groaned lowly as those strong hands of his worked at your lower back. He easily hitched your thigh up slightly to ease some of the pressure on the new swell to your belly. There was a slur in your voice when you said, “Feels so good.”

Javier chuckled behind you, moving on to rub your feet. “Be quiet, you don’t want to wake Ellie.”

“Did you ever see this being our life?” You murmured though your voice was muffled by the pillows you buried your head in. “Telling each other not to wake the kids, making bacon smiley faces for a toddler’s breakfast?”

“I didn’t think I’d actually get it, but I wished for it. Dreamt about how pretty you’d look all full of me.” Javi placed a teasing kiss to the inside of your thigh. “The real thing is so much better.”

You could only groan under his praise. His thumbs dug into the arch of your foot and rubbed in methodical circles, drawing another pleased groan from you that you muffled in your pillow. The pain slowly melted from your tired muscles under his thorough ministrations, leaving a pleasant warmth in his wake that made you all pliant and drowsy beneath him.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Javi asked as he rubbed his hands up your calves and you smiled. You knew exactly what he was gunning for.

You eased yourself onto your back and reached out for him with both arms, bringing him forward with grabby hands that he could never refuse. Javier settled between your thighs, a knowing smirk on his face, and leaned down to kiss you deeply. “‘M feeling good, Javi.”

“You know I love making my girl feel good,” Javi murmured as he kissed down your neck, one hand trailing back and forth over your hip and thigh lovingly. “Can I make you feel even better?”

“Please?” You asked breathily and your husband was more than happy to oblige. The loose tank top you wore was the first to go, followed quickly by your shorts and underwear.

Javier set about lavishing your neck and chest with affection, his touch more gentle than usual on your oversensitive breasts, and once again you were struck by the surrealness of it all. The fact that this had begun in Colombia all those years ago as two coworkers using sex for stress relief and had blossomed into this beautiful life you shared together was a thing of dreams. But there you were, with Javier Peña making love to you, quietly as to not wake your daughter and gently as to keep you and your baby safe and happy, and you could barely believe it.

“I love you,” You choked out through the tears that sprung into your eyes and Javi sat up to look at you with a concerned expression.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes roaming all over to find the apparent source of your tears.

“Nothing’s wrong.” You tried to pull him back down to you but he didn’t budge, the concern unwavering.

“Then why are you crying?” Javier brushed a thumb under your eyes to wipe away the evidence of your strong burst of emotion.

“Because I love you,” You chuckled as you held his hand close to your cheek and pressed a kiss to the middle of his palm. “And I’m pregnant, so everything is a thousand times more intense and you don’t get to tease me for that.”

“I would never,” Javi muttered but the mischievous grin on his face betrayed him. “Let me make you feel better, baby,”

“I’m already better, Javi - oh,”

----------

Two o’clock in the morning was not an ideal time to wake up, especially since Javier knew that Ellie would be awake and full of energy by seven, but something felt off. Even in his unconscious state, he could feel the absence of you in bed and his mind nagged at him to get up and find you. The hardwood was cold beneath his feet as he wandered from the bedroom, finding the bathroom empty before he made his way down the stairs. You often would rest on the recliner in the living room when your back was bothering you particularly bad, especially since your center of gravity had so drastically changed the further along you got in your pregnancy - but you weren’t there either.

Before Javi could start really worrying, he heard the refrigerator open and found you peering into the illuminated fridge in search of… something. A pint of ice cream was already in your hand, a spoonful of it hanging from your lips as you browsed with a frustrated look on your face, and honestly… Javi loved how you looked. It was so domestic and sweet, the sight of you in your pajamas that barely covered your belly as you raided the kitchen.

Thirty-six weeks and four days. He could barely believe how much time had passed since he saw those positive tests. It felt like forever and the blink of an eye at the same time, and he was beyond excited to meet his newest little one.

“What are you looking for, sweetheart?” Javi asked after a moment of watching you helplessly search around.

The sheepish smile you gave him made his heart swell in his chest and he automatically opened his arms as you shuffled over to bury your face in his chest. “Your kid is driving me crazy with the cravings.”

Javier hugged you tightly, relishing in the way you relaxed against him. “Well, if they’re anything like me, they probably want those barbecue chips, then.”

It didn’t take long for him to get you herded back up to bed with the chips in hand and the sight of you sleepily munching away while burrowed in the blankets eased an almost innate need Javier had to see you safe and happy, all nice and taken care of in his bed. He climbed into bed once he was sure you didn’t need anything else, settling on his side with his head propped up against his hand to watch you despite his own sleepiness.

“Let your mama sleep, troublemaker.” He murmured to your belly as he rubbed gentle circles over the spots he could feel the nudges of his little one retaliating to their father’s stern words. “Need some lotion?”

“Hmmm, please?” You hummed.

Rubbing lotion into your skin was something Javi had taken a particular liking to. The first time he had seen you doing it yourself, he was quick to take over. That was the first time he felt his little one kick at his hands and he fell even more in love - something he hadn’t thought was possible. It was a good way to feel closer to you both, to his wife and the baby you were bringing into the world, and the way you dozed slightly as he helped you relax made him feel needed, like he was doing right by you. That’s all he ever wanted to do.

A nudge to the edge of his hand made Javier glance back down to where his hands were running all over your belly, but it was the sight of the baby rolling that made him do a double take. “Holy shit,” He whispered, hands frozen as he saw what had to be the imprint of a little foot or hand poke out before disappearing. “There really is a whole person in there.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” You grumbled, grimacing slightly at the feeling. “It’s aerobics hour, apparently.”

“That’s fucking crazy.” Javi tentatively resumed massaging the lotion into your skin. It was hard to fathom, the idea that your body was so capable of creating and nurturing a brand new life, and for the millionth time he found himself thanking the universe for letting him have this second chance.

----------

Gabriel Peña came early, quick, and with a sharp cry you were sure could be heard throughout the entire hospital. His little nose was scrunched up, his face all red from his wailing, hands curled into angry fists over his sudden eviction from the warmth and darkness he was accustomed to. It was a short labor, so very different from your first with Ellie for so many reasons but the biggest being the strong presence of Javier at your side. The moment the contractions began at the crisp hour of six a.m., he was alert and full of nervous excitement.

True to his word, Javier let you clutch onto him through it all - every contraction, every push, every angered grumble you threw his way for getting you pregnant in the first place. That sharp mind of his kept up under the pressure. He spoonfed you ice chips and let you use him for support as you rocked your way through particularly bad contractions.

There were tears in Javier’s eyes as he carefully set his hand on his son’s head, carefully musing the shock of dark, wispy hair on his head. You leaned your head against Javi’s shoulder, exhaustion, relief, and happiness warring with each other after hours of labor. You felt his lips press against your temple before he sniffled and whispered, “Thank you.”

Javier stayed by Gabriel’s side the entire time the doctors checked him over and cleaned him up, per your instructions, and he was the one to return your son to your arms. It was the most careful you had ever seen him, his movements slow and deliberate, eyes on the baby’s adorable, chubby face.

“Seven pounds, nine ounces,” Javi murmured as he drug a chair as close to your bedside as possible and settled in, his hand resting on your thigh. A disgruntled whine came from the baby wriggling in your arms and you smiled, knowing he was hungry and could probably smell the milk your body had been preparing to make for his arrival. You pulled the gown down to expose your breast, propping your arm with a pillow to better support him, and adjusted his latch to settle in.

“Nice latch, mama,” One of the nurses said as she finished settling the blankets around your feet.

“Not my first time at this rodeo.” You chuckled quietly. It had been a while since Ellie weaned but you still remembered the struggle of figuring out how to get a newborn to latch properly when you had no idea what you were doing. You set your hand over Javi’s, smiling at him when he blinked sleepily up at you. Neither of you had gotten much rest before Gabriel decided to make his appearance into the world. “Can you hand me some water, honey?”

“Of course,” Javi perked up with the small task you gave him. There wasn’t much he could do at this point, but you wanted him to feel involved, to feel like he was helping you, and even though his mere presence helped you relax, you knew he was an ‘action’ kind of man. He needed something to do to feel useful. He held the straw steady for you and everything, your sweet husband. “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired.” You answered honestly, leaning into his hand when he brushed stray hairs from your face.

“I know this wasn’t easy. I’m proud of you.” It was a simple statement but it hit you right in your chest. As excited as you were to have another baby, it was hard. Exhausting. He could see it all, how tired you were and how hard you were working just to carry on like normal through your pregnancy, and while he did everything he could to ease some of that burden, the plain acknowledgement of how hard you worked felt good.

“I love you so much.” You whispered, pulling his hand close to kiss his palm.

“I love you, too.” Javier leaned over the side of the bed and kissed you softly, careful not to jostle his son where he sleepily nursed against you. “How are our kids so damn cute?”

You huffed a laugh, which made Gabriel shift against you before settling back down, sighing suspiciously similar to his father. “It helps that their dad is incredibly good looking.”

“True,” Javi said, trying for that cocky tone you loved but you didn’t miss the pink tinge to the tips of his ears. Compliments always got him like that, all red-faced and adorable - though he would never admit it.

A short nap later and you had one very excited Ellie fidgeting in the chair next to your bed, impatiently waiting to meet her baby brother. Javier stood behind her, quietly reminding her to be careful as you helped keep the squirming newborn steady in her lap. Your heart damn near exploded when she began cooing at her brother and very gently touching his soft cheeks. She was enamored by him, asking so many questions that you and her father could barely keep up.

“Can we share my bed?” “No, he can’t sleep in your bed, baby. He has to sleep in a special bed in mommy and daddy’s room.”

“Does he get a special seat like me?” “Yep! Daddy’s putting his carseat in next to yours right now. You’ll get to talk to him the whole way home.”

“Is he gonna cry a lot?” “Yeah, he will. That’s how babies let people know they need something since they don’t have words like we do.”

“Can I share my crackers with him?” “Not yet! Right now, he only drinks milk.” “Milk? Like for cereal?” “Kind of, but it comes from your mommy.” “What?!” “You ate the same thing when you were a little baby, too.” “What?!”

The entire drive home was full of little Ellie chatting away at her baby brother, mostly about the stuffed animals she had at home that she promised to show him the moment they got home. There was a small smile on Javier’s face as he drove, his hand curled around yours on the center console. He practically radiated contentment and damn did it look good on him.

----------

For what felt like the millionth time, you woke before the sun had a chance to rise. Though this time, it was to the feeling of a full bladder rather than the sound of a hungry baby, so that could be counted as a small win at the very least. You tried to ignore the ache in your healing body as you stumbled your way to and from the bathroom, near silent in your movements even though you were half asleep. It was a well practiced dance, getting out and back into bed without waking your sleeping children.

But something was off. The sheets were cooler than usual, missing the fire-like heat that Javier radiated constantly. You sat up, blinking against the drowsiness and darkness to see your husband passed out on the rocking chair in the corner of the room with Gabriel curled up on his bare chest. Skin-to-skin contact was something Javier couldn’t get enough of. He told you how close it made him feel to his son and you couldn’t complain. It was a precious sight. Avoiding the creaky floorboards, you carefully covered Gabriel with a soft baby blanket and smoothed it down his back.

“S’wrong?” Javier mumbled, words slurred with sleep, his eyes barely cracking open. On instinct, his hands shifted over the little baby asleep on him to hold him closer, even more secure.

“Shh, nothing’s wrong.” You soothed as you gently tucked his curls back away from his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay.” And with that his eyes were closed, back to dozing like he was never interrupted in the first place. You were glad. Tomorrow was an early morning, and paired with all of the midnight feedings and diaper changes, you all could use some rest. So you laid back down, sleep dragging you back under swiftly.

Javier was practically bouncing with nerves just hours later, even though he was trying not to show it. It brought you back to that first appointment when you were pregnant, only this time he held a sleeping one-month old who he was trying not to wake up with his nervousness.

“I just want it to go well.” He grumbled when you asked if he was okay.

“It will.” You reassured him, rubbing circles into his knee. “They’re both perfectly healthy, the pediatrician will tell you that, too.”

You were right - then again, when weren’t you? Gabe was a healthy nine and a half pounds, strong heart and lungs, and good reflexes. Javier was hooked on the pediatrician’s every word, nodding along and giving you a relieved smile with each positive statement. And of course, Ellie’s rambunctiousness had the pediatrician and nurses completely captivated as she told them all about her preschool and the antics she got up to while they checked her over.

The pride on Javier’s face with every positive comment and reassurance that both of his kids were on track developmentally made your heart flip. You felt so beyond lucky to have this little family of yours, with two beautiful children and the man you always loved. It felt too good to be true sometimes, especially when Javi pulled you close for a tight hug and a kiss to the side of your head before he worked to get one wiggly Gabe back into his onesie.

One impromptu trip to the park later and you and Javier had two very tired kids on your hands. Ellie was already passed out by the time Javier pulled into the driveway but Gabe was quickly venturing into ‘overtired’ territory. He was grumpy, wriggling around in your arms like he couldn’t get comfortable, all the while giving little whines and grunts that threatened to turn into full on wailing. He didn’t want milk, he didn’t need a diaper change, he just wanted to sleep but was too frustrated to let a nap take him.

“Give ‘em here.” Javier offered and you freely handed him over. The postpartum fatigue was no joke, and even though it was lessening with each passing day, you were damn tired so you had no issue with letting your husband put the baby down for a nap. You curled up on the couch, not quite going to sleep but still letting your mind and body rest as you listened to Javi try to negotiate with Gabriel as if he were some sicario and not just a particularly stubborn baby.

“C’mon, little man. Just go to sleep. All of your problems if you went to sleep right now? Solved. Completely solved. Instead of crying you could just… go to sleep.” Javier whispered over the cooing and grunting of his son. “Oh, don’t give me that face, mister.”

You snorted a laugh - you knew exactly what face Gabe was pulling. His nose and eyebrows would scrunch up, lips pursed as he huffed angry breaths like a little baby bull. It was an exaggerated copy of the face Javier pulled anytime he was frustrated, which you found ridiculously adorable. Slowly, the grumpy grunts became more and more quiet until they disappeared completely, and a few moments later, Javier flopped down on the couch next to you with a sigh.

“Got him down.” Javi said as he pressed close to you, burying himself between the back of the couch and your body to press his face into your neck. A blanket of drowsiness must have settled over the entire house as both kids napped peacefully in their beds and you cuddled up to your husband in the living room. The both of you would doze until the sound of little feet on the hardwood or the sounds of a hungry baby woke you, and then it would be back on the grind of parenthood, but you knew… with Javier by your side, you could do it.

{Taglist}

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#javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña fanfiction #narcos

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therewasatale · 3 years

Text

his scars

On Ao3.

Summary: Each Lord had their own rules, and you have broken Lord Heisenberg's.

Note: I saw a bunch of fanarts with Heisenberg having a lot of scars, so I played with the idea.

Each Lord had their own rules. Which if their servants did not follow, they had to pay a heavy price.

Rules like that; you must not go to the lower levels of the factory alone. If Lord Heisenberg said something, you had to do it without question, especially for your own safety. And if you visited his private room, you always had to knock before entering.

You’ve always followed two of them. However, your attention slipped over the last one as you hurried out of the elevator to Heisenberg's room. At each step, you could feel the slow, rhythmic thumping of the factory from behind and below you as the various machines and tools worked non-stop. Every click, tap, or squeak has become as familiar to you as your very being.

Pulling closer the book you got from him a month ago, you tried to gather your thoughts about what you wanted to say. You'd have never thought a darker fantasy would appeal to you so much. It had a mystery, a bunch of different, but still interesting characters, and an oppressive background that the story slowly began to bring to light by the end of the first book. The ending was open for a promising sequel.

And you entered his room. Without knocking.

Inside, the smell of thick tobacco and oil rushed your senses.

"Heisenberg, I brought back the book! And imagine it's already-"

"WHAT IN THE LIVING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" He yelled.

You froze in place in the doorway. The sudden shout shook you up completely and you gripped the book tighter in your hand so you wouldn’t drop it.

Your gaze was immediately drawn to the man, as he was standing by the bed.

Heisenberg's shirtless upper body was covered in a myriad of thin scars, like cobwebs across his entire body. Starting at his neck, they ran down his chest all the way to his waist, and probably continued under the pants. The scars on his arms were gnarly, from long healed injuries, which were most likely the results of fights. However, some of those on his chest were too straight and clean to come from an accident.

"Get. Out." He didn't look into your eyes. Objects trembled around him. A knife rose into the air from his desk. "NOW!"

You didn’t look back when the door slammed close behind you. Not when the elevator was already climbed up a few levels. And not even when you got to your own room and threw your back at the door. You felt like a hand was wrapped around your throat and it began tightening its fingers, ever so slowly.

Long minutes passed and yet you still felt as if your heart was trying to break out of your chest. The only thing you could clearly hear besides the beating of your heart, was your own panicked breathing.

"Shit..." you slid down with trembling legs. You had to wrap your hands around your body to try stop the trembling.

It was over.

You broke his rule. And now he's going to kill you, if you're lucky, he will make it quick.

Each Lord had their own rules, and now you have broken Lord Heisenberg's. Like a stupid fucking kid.

"Shit!"

You were aware of the fact that the people in the Dimitrescu castle disappears and got replaced very often, and you were really surprised how different Heisenberg was from what you imagined. He shouted a lot and swore even more, but he never tried to hurt you, even on his worst days, he just grumbled impatiently and vented his frustration on his machines.

He was loud, but understanding in his harsh way. Impatient, but still a good listener on his good days. He was rough, but you knew he cared about you, in his own grumpy way.

You were happy. You enjoyed living here.

But now...

Now you had to get out of here.

The sudden thought helped to clear your head with such force that you have managed to get on your feet. You didn't want to die. You didn't deserve death for a complete nonsense.

You had to get away.

Heisenberg waited while as the elevator started upwards.

He didn't even have to move his hand. The knife spun around its axis then it slammed into the wall with tremendous force, then again and again and again. It didn't stop until the blade bent from the force. His fingers trembled, bolts and gears threw themselves around him in all directions. The legs of his bed buckled as the springs in his mattress straightened, pierced trough the material and then snapped and shot themselves into the ceiling.

"Fuck!" He grabbed his dirty-gray hair and pulled it hard enough so the pain would clear his head a bit. He needed to calm down before he smashed everything around him. The bed creaked behind him, as two of its legs finally gave up and fell to the ground with a thud. Then there was silence again. This snapped him out from his blind anger.

He shut his eyes tightly. Letting his shoulder sunk, he took a step back and threw his back against the cold wall. He needed to take a few deep breaths to slow down his pounding heart.

When he opened his eyes the first thing that caught his eye, was a scar running through his forearm. He clearly remembered getting it in a fight against a bunch of lycans. Years ago, when he started constructing his factory the territory of the lycans stretched all the way to the area where the main building would be. At the time, they didn’t even know who they were facing and sometimes they ventured through the fence. That evening, Heisenberg did not expect them in such numbers, let alone that they will attach wooden spears on their arm to counteract his powers.

With a sharp exhale he lowered his arm.

Those creatures became what they were thanks to Cadou. Technically, they were all related. He took a deep breath, knowing it well that these thoughts didn’t help and were not important right now.

He gave himself a disgusted look before he got dressed. When he buttoned the last button on his shirt, only then he let his thoughts wander again. An unpleasant feeling settled into his chest.

You saw him. And now you will run away.

It was over.

He knew that the body he had to live in was utterly repugnant. The body which was experimented on by Mother Miranda, conducting studies and surgeries until she was satisfied with it. The body she put the parasite in and which cursed him with this fate. He hated her for making him this way, and he hated himself for being her child.

He still woke up time to time drenched in sweat from nightmares where he has been implanted with the parasite over and over again.

It spread throughout his body and turned his existence into pure hell. His thoughts burned away by the eruption of the unbearable pain, he felt as if his chest would open up and his heart would tear itself out of its place. However, the worst part of it all, was the realization that something was trying to subsume his consciousness. Claws tore into his brain and tried to suppress part of his being. It was almost successful, but Heisenberg held on.

And when he woke up after the procedure, he found himself in a whole new hell.

You were the only thing, along with the constant building, that kept him happy day by day, and helped suppress his raging hatred. On the worst days he still could felt the Cadou trying to making its way into his head. But you always were there to help him, or at least, you tried and he was grateful, even when he didn't say anything.

He knew full well that this would not last forever. Because why would it last? In this godforsaken horrible place everything fell to pieces and rotted apart eventually.

He took out a cigar from the depths of his coat.

He didn't want anything; he didn't ask to being like this. And yet you stayed with him. He had you. But now, you saw him.

The bitter smoke slowly rose from his lips.

Everything was over.

Hours have passed. Night arrived, or just the tiredness told you that.

You thought about running away again and again trying to figure out how, and when you should do it. The first thing you thought was that you had to find a way to do it as soon as possible. The elevator was an option, but you would have risked running into Heisenberg, or, more dangerously, into his servants. He could send them after you at any time.

It was risky.

Or there was a ventilation system that weaved through the factory. You could use that, though you were afraid of getting lost inside of it forever rather than getting out. Escaping trough, the dumpster promised only similar chances.

You even started to think that maybe first, you should talk to the man. Or at least try to talk to him. Though your reasonable-self protested profusely against this emotional suggestion.

However, your pride also spoke up and somehow, it made you stay. You're not going to run. Not anymore. Not from him.

So, you waited.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you hoped you would have a chance to talk to him. You just couldn’t decide when to go to him. Every part of your body shivered as Heisenberg's angry voice echoed in your head. You had to go to talk to him, but you were simply unable to leave your room, at least for now.

Fortune was on your side for once.

Your door opened slowly. You felt your shoulders tense up and you swallowed dryly. You couldn’t look up at him.

"I thought you would have left already." His voice didn't sound as harsh, as you would have expected.

You glanced up at the man who was leaning against the doorframe. He folded his arms in front of his chest, his eyes were hidden behind his black sunglasses.

"Why should I leave?"

"Well," despite his words his voice sounded surprised "I yelled at you."

"You've yelled before."

Heisenberg snorted a little and rubbed his hair under his hat. This didn’t go as he thought it would. "Well yeah, but..." his words let him down.

"What happened to you? I mean your body…?" You got up from your bed. He was just a few steps away from you.

The man drummed with his fingers a couple of times on his arms. "I fell."

"Heisenberg..." you took a careful step towards him.

"Lord Heisenberg." He corrected you. "If my bitch mother is forcing this prestigious bullshit then we should keep to it." He sounded more annoyed than angry. He continued to drum slowly with his fingers, but you could also feel his eyes watching you from behind his glasses.

"I'm sorry that I didn't knock."

For long minutes, the only thing could be heard was the rhythmic thumping background sounds of the factory.

"Well...Yeah..." He scratched his graying hair slowly as he pushed himself away from the doorway. "Listen, if you want to go, then go. I'm not going to stop you, just don't ever comeback. All right? Have a nice life, or whatever. That giant trash is actually looking for new maidens," He turned around.

You managed to stand up and hurried after him stopping him in front of the elevator.

"What?" Heisenberg glanced down at your arms as you hugged him. "(Y/N)?"

"I'm sorry." You snuggled closer to his back, hiding your face in the fabric of his coat.

"For what?" His hands shook, he had to stop himself from touching your arms. The thought made him tremble a bit, but he realized that you were trembling too. You were so close to him, he could felt your body against his, your finger griped into his clothes.

"For not knocking. And not saying sorry. And for not trying to talk to you." His coat smelt like tobacco and oil, just like everything around him did in this place. For you, it felt like home.

When he didn't answer, you spoke again.

"I don't want to leave. I'm sorry."

There was another quiet minute. You were about to let him go when he finally found his voice.

"Are you sure? But you saw me." He carefully caressed your hand with his fingers. "You saw what that bitch did to me."

So, you were right, those wounds were too straight to be from some kind of accident.

With your eyes closed you enjoyed the gentle touches, as he run his fingers along the top of your hands, and then slowly moved up on your arms as well. He slowly relaxed between your arms and leaned closer to your body. Even his breathing became more even.

When he sighed, you let him out from your hug and stepped beside him, looking up at him "Come with me, Lord Heisenberg." You gently took his hand and pulled him after you. heading back to your room.

"Hm?"

"I need some rest, and you too. And I'm sure you've destroyed half of your room."

Heisenberg pulled down his hat into his eyes. Damn.

"Why would I have done that?" Oh, for the love of god, shut up you, idiot! He snorted to himself.

"Because you care about me, just as much I care about you. Come." You pulled him all the way to your bed. Turning towards him you took off his hat and glasses.

"Mh, what?" His tired eyes looked straight into yours.

"Your eyes are really beautiful."

"Oh shut up." Stepping next to you, he threw himself on the bed.

You never dared to ask why you got a bed which was big enough for two people. Whether someone owned this room in the past, or the man had some kind of plan for you. But right now, as he leaned back to the bed, you haven’t really found a reason to worry about that. Climbing next to him, you hid under his arm. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you sighed deeply.

"Well, I hope you're happy."

"Very much, thank you."

He snorted and listened quietly to your steady and calm breathing as he tried to ignore his own pounding heart. He fervently hoped you wouldn't notice this. This hope was unfortunately false considering that you were only a couple of centimeters away from his heart.

The redness spread through his face even more so than before.

He didn't imagine this could happen. You shouldn't have been here anymore. You should have gone to the village a long time ago and not looked back. You should have left everything...and everyone behind.

Instead, you were here. And you laid next to him so damn close. His skepticism struggled against the notion.

Like anything would just become magically fine after this.

"You know, you can't fix me with cuddling, right? I'm messed up in the head and even more fucked up in my body." He swallowed dryly.

"What are you talking about?" Raising your head, you looked straight into his eyes.

"I just told you." He let out an impatient huff. "You can't fix me, I'm this fucked up. And it won't go away after some warm cuddling and snuggling. Sorry to ruin your hopes."

"I don't want to fix you, Heisenberg."

"What?" Every answer of yours caught him off guard.

"Why would I want to fix you when I like you this way?" You leaned closer, slowly kissing him. His body tensed, you could feel his grip tighten on your shirt, then his lips gently kissed you back. The kiss tasted bitter, like his cigar. He pulled you closer and didn't let go until you yourself pulled back.

Looking into his eyes you smiled gently. "Besides, I've been here a long time, so I'm pretty sure I'm just as messed up in the head."

"Damn." His grey eyes almost sparkled. "God damn."

You let him pull you closer, snuggling up to his shoulder.

"So, we're messed up together."

"Pretty much, yeah. But somehow it doesn't bother me."

Heisenberg was sure by then that you could feel the pounding of his heart, but he didn't mind it now. He gently caressed your face with his fingertips from your forehead through the line of your nose all the way to your chin. He spent a lot of time under your eyes.

"Listen, I know she did something to you." You placed your palm carefully on his chest. "But your body isn’t scaring or disgust me." You gently caressed around his heart trough his shirt. "It's your body, it belongs to you and I like it. I mean it's yours and it's fine."

"Mh," he replied tellingly.

His heart finally started to quiet down. Good. He needed to think with his god damn head and not with his heart. Everything happened differently. For hours he believed, no, he knew, that you have already ran away. He wanted to give you time, that was one of the reasons he didn’t come after you for so long. And yet, deep within him he felt he can't just let you go. Who knew what he would have done if you would have told him to his face that you are leaving him? He felt as if his whole world started to tremble.

It was as if you could feel what he was thinking you snuggled closer and rubbed your head against his shoulder.

The man sighed softly.

But you stayed. You were here, and you were honest. Maybe he could be a bit honest too.

"Sometimes, I dream that I'm just a machine myself." He gently played with your hair. It was a long time ago when he touched something this soft. "That I'm lying on one of Mother Miranda's experimental tables, and when I look down at myself I see nothing but gears and bolts that work together inside me. It's not my body anymore, I lost my real one. Then I start to lose my mind as well. And she just watches me, every damn time. Calling me his son. " He rubbed his face into his hands.

Raising your head a little you laid it back on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"What are you-"

"Sh."

The man snorted, in confusion and embarrassment.

"Hm, all I can hear is your flesh heart beating in your chest. The rhythm is pretty fast but maybe because of the many cigars."

"Oh, shut up." He hid his face in his hands and tried to rub the crimson of his face away.

"All right, all right." You snuggled back to his shoulder. "Still, I'm not going anywhere."

"You can be a stubborn bastard sometimes."

You chuckled, clearly proudly and as you embraced him a smile remained on your face.

The room around you was filled with the sounds of the thumping factory. It felt comforting. Your heart started to quiet down as you let your consciousness relax from the rhythmic noises around you two. His hand drew gently circles on your shoulder.

"Can we stay like this for a while?" You asked, what he didn’t dare to ask.

"Sure." He pulled you even closer and buried his face into your hair. He seemed to relax even more. He raised a finger, and his sunglasses slipped off, levitated under his coat, and raising it up gently laid it on the two of you, before it landed itself on your nightstand with a small clink.

"Thank you." You muttered as you gently drifted towards sleep.

"Yeah-yeah." He kept his face hidden in your hair.

You won't leave him, at least not now. Maybe you will actually stay with him, maybe you were stubborn enough to do it. He ignored his worries about the future, instead, to his own surprise, he let himself be happy for once. He slowly fallen asleep with you on his side, listening to your breathing.

#resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil heisenberg #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg #lord heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #heisenberg imagine #heisenberg x reader #reader #re village #copper #heisenberg x you #house heisenberg

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

bad boy good thing iv.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 2, 105

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a glimpse into the past

Jungkook’s been to a total of two graduations his entire life—one was his middle school’s graduation that seemed more like a farewell party and his older brother’s college one. Now, he can say that he’s attended three. But he’s never felt like this—never felt dread to say a temporary goodbye to a face he’s been so accustomed to seeing.

Maybe that’s why he’s in such a sour mood as his peers hugged their seniors' goodbyes, smiles on their face while they engaged in chatter about the future. Jungkook’s always been hard on parting and today is no different. Especially with the constant reminders at every corner of the hallways, streams of red and blue painting the ceilings with a big fat ‘happy graduation to the seniors!’ Mocking him on his journey to his classes.

He almost wants to slap some sense into himself. Because why was he terrified for the beginning of a new chapter that wasn’t his story to tell? Why was he dreading the moment that the seniors collected their diplomas and walked off the stage; and out of his life?

But he doesn’t do that; because the fear is as addictive as the excitement he feels when he thinks of you. A conflicting and tortuous juxtaposition of the beautiful day for a valedictorian and her younger friend.

“Jungkook!” A voice calls, and when he turns he sees Taehyung barrelling towards him with two people trailing closely behind.

When Taehyung plummets into Jungkook’s chest with an oof, but all Jungkook can focus on; despite the ache in his chest, is you.

You’re so pretty. But that’s nothing new for Jungkook. However, you were smiling, soft and sweet like the person who stayed up during her finals to tutor Jungkook on math concepts and the same girl who supported him through his football trials in junior year.

But you were grown, and the robe was the testimony of your age and maturity—the level of intelligence that you possess only grew with time and now you were walking towards him with a sense of quiet assuredness that he’s always admired you for.

Jungkook’s sure he’s gaping but he’s never been able to control himself around you.

“Can you stop gawking at her already?” Taehyung complains, twisting the skin between Jungkook’s armpit in retaliation.

Jungkook burns but scowls at the older boy who simply snickers in response.

“I’m so glad you’re graduating.” Jungkook snaps.

Taehyung snorts, “If I go she goes.”

Jungkook purses his lips as he readies himself for another retort, but you arrive and the first thing he notices is how gentle you smell. His favourite scent in principle, a whiff of laundry detergent accompanied with the light floral perfume he remembers his mother gifting you for your birthday.

“You’re gonna miss us, aren’t you?” Is the first thing Jimin says when he greets the younger boy with a ruffle to his head.

Jungkook glowers in embarrassment as he tries to fight him off, and despite his shorter stature in height—Jimin was in fact, quite strong.

Regardless of his flustered state, you smile at him warmly and perhaps Jungkook is biased when it comes to you because he’s sure you’ve always smiled the same, but every tilt of your lips evoke an array of different feelings in Jungkook’s chest.

“The two of you are like dumb and dumber so no—not really. God knows he’s finally granted my wish for emancipation.” Jungkook grumbles.

Taehyung feigns offence with a hand to his chest, leaning his head against Jungkook’s shoulders while he rolls his eyes.

Then he remembers you, the girl who just smiles as the world will always do her good.

“But I’ll miss Noona, though.” He says, and he hopes the shakiness of his voice isn’t obvious. “She’s the only one that doesn’t tease me.”

You grin up at Jungkook, giggling when Jimin and Taehyung gape at the younger boy’s audacity.

“Yah. You call her Noona and not us Hyung?!” Taehyung screeches were loud enough for the group of you to wince at his loudness.

“Don’t forget that you would have never have met her if it weren’t for us, you brat.” Jimin reminds, though not maliciously.

Jungkook does thank the stars for them introducing him to you. Because he doubts otherwise you’d ever interact with him. You were always in your own bubble, tucked away in a safe space filled with your own sense of solace and comfort. And Jungkook admired that.

He liked being alone, but he never wanted to be lonely. You were a breath of fresh air when you taught him the lines between loneliness and being physically alone; and how you learnt to never conflate the two. You were independent and bright, but warm and welcoming—and Jungkook remembers that these feelings weren’t just a floor away anymore.

“Ignore them, Kook.” You sigh. “Gonna miss you too.”

Jungkook feels himself melt because you say it so sweetly and sincerely.

Taehyung and Jimin ruin his love-blurred lenses by gagging at your blatant display of affection towards the younger boy.

“The two of you are so gross.” Jimin groans, earning a nod from his other half.

You roll your eyes when all Jungkook does is flush at the insinuation.

“Unlike the two of you, we make the better and more rational pair.” You chastise. “Don’t we, Kook?”

And the nickname he’s grown to love though he has a love-hate relationship with it slips off your tongue and he finds himself agreeing with you.

“These two idiots are a quarter of a brain-cell combined on a good day,” Jungkook mutters.

You burst out into laughter, rubbing a calming hand onto his shoulder and he feels the dread come in. Because this was no longer something he could reach out to when you went to college.

“Whatever.” Jimin scoffs.

Then the PA system sounds, and the principal calls for the graduates to gather at the hall. And it represents all of Jungkook’s worries in an announcement and he’s not ready to let you go yet.

“That’s our call.” You declare, eyes darting to the other seniors who pull apart from their juniors to rush to the hall.

Jungkook’s eyes widen one last time before Jimin and Taehyung both wrap their arms around Jungkook tightly, murmuring a much more sincere and grateful remark than their previous chides. And he feels slightly bad that he can’t respond because his brain is far more focused on your lone figure, who eyes him with sad yet gentle eyes.

“You’ll come to our role call, right?” Jimin asks.

Jungkook gulps because all he can focus on is your face.

“Y-yeah. Course’.” He mumbles. He feels the need to say something—do something before people crowd you after it’s over. Jungkook would never stand a chance.

He seems rooted in his feet, Jimin and Taehyung already trailing off with their arms around each other and words of their future in the air. You smile at Jungkook—and it’s the same—but his hands reach out before he can think twice.

Jungkook grabs your wrist before you can leave, gulping to himself when you stare at him with wide eyes.

“You okay?” You ask softly.

No, he’s not, because his heart is beating so fast and he doesn’t want this day to come to an end.

“I-I’m okay.” He chokes, “I just—don’t you have a parting gift for me?” Jungkook blurts before he can rationalise what the fuck did he even mean.

But Jungkook just stares at you like a deer caught in the headlights while you tilt your head at him endearingly. He hopes that his pulse doesn’t emanate from his grasp, but your wrist is small, and it feels just right in his palm.

Your lips are twitching as a grin threatens itself on your expression, and he sees the mischief in your eyes that come out every once in a while.

“Aren’t you supposed to be giving me a gift, Jeon?” You tease, and Jungkook is so soft.

He snorts, a little glad that you didn’t point out his sudden grip on your wrist.

“But you’re leaving me.” He pouts.

You roll your eyes and take a step closer to him until you’re directly in front of him. And he sees your features up close and God—did he say you were pretty?—well because you’re even prettier up close and he loses all sense of thought when you’re smiling up at him with bright eyes.

“I’m always a call away.” You say softly, gently tugging at his hand; and it’s crazy to think that you were the same older girl that was usually timid reaching out to him in a way that was shy but so you.

Even with the chattering of other students, Jungkook only hears your subdued voice.

“It’s not the same.” Jungkook sighs, and he’s slightly aware that he was whining. But you don’t seem to be bothered.

“You’re probably going to forget about me.” You scoff and it’s light, but he can see the slight furrow of your brows. “You’re Jeon Jungkook. You’ll do great.” You add softly.

Jungkook purses his lips and wants to tell you that it wasn’t possible. You took up space in his life, both in school (well, not anymore) and in his mind. You and your wonderful mind.

“Says the valedictorian.” Jungkook huffs.

You pout, “You know that isn’t long-term. What if I just peak in high school and … you know …” You sigh, shaking your head, “I’m not outgoing like Jimin or a social butterfly like Taehyung. Neither am I as friendly and likeable like you are, Jungkook. I’m just … boring.”

Jungkook freezes because while he knew you were on the shier side; the louder than life tendencies you had were small but abundant. You didn’t need to speak louder than anyone in a room to get your points across, you were soft and empathetic and led people in organisations to see the good in the work they did.

Your genuine nature drew people in, even though you’d flush under attention and praise—and if Jungkook could—he’d scream it out to the world. But you were in front of him, and he figured that was enough.

“Don’t say that.” Jungkook snaps and his tone causes you to flinch as you stare at him with wide eyes, “Don’t … put yourself down like that. You’re great, _____. You’re intelligent and kind. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re boring. There are situations in this world that need people like you. There are people that find comfort in a quiet soul because you’re introspective and thoughtful. People like …”

Jungkook exhales when you stare at him so earnestly, and his ears turn red. “People like me. We need people like you in our lives.”

Your mouth falls open as you blatantly stare at Jungkook with wide eyes; he’s on the border of being absolutely mortified and running away so he wouldn’t be the subject of your obvious ogling.

But then a soft smile makes its way onto your face, and you’re tugging Jungkook by the hand and into a warm hug.

Despite him being younger than you, he’s always been taller and bigger than you were. And it was a sense of security he felt in your presence rather than your physical entity that would never be replaced with anything else.

“You really grew up, huh?” You say, a giggle in your chest.

Jungkook rolls his eyes but accepts the way you rest your head on his chest. He’s never had you this close before, and he hates that it’s on the day he needs to say goodbye.

“I’ve always been this way.” Jungkook answers. He also thinks: I’ve always been here. For you.

“Thank you, Jungkook.” You say softly, pulling away even though Jungkook wants to keep you close.

“Anytime.” He smiles widely at you, and a classmate of yours calls your name as you turn to give them a nod of acknowledgement before you’re turning back to Jungkook with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Here’s your gift.” You inform him.

“I was kidding—”

And before you can respond, you’re placing both hands on his shoulder and on your tippy-toes to deliver a kiss to his cheek.

Jungkook is stunned and he isn’t able to process it fast enough. But you’re already offering him an equally flustered smile with the tip of your ears turning red before you’re waving shyly and tittering off to the hall.

Jungkook blinks, and a hand reaches to touch his cheek.

He looks up, and groans—because how the hell was he going to survive high school now?

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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Note

Hey! I have a request! We all need a little fluffy once in a while 😂 just a levi x reader but not as a couple, where the reader is getting married to another soldier (can be from the 104th or other, but the focus is levi and reader interaction) and she asks levi to walk her since she doesn't have a father and she sees him as a protective figure?

Thanks ♥️♥️♥️

Of course! I love this idea a lot btw :) I had too much fun writing this one tbh.

I was listening to Work Song by Hozier and Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County while writing this if you wanna immerse yourself a little more <3

Summary: Your dad’s a dick but captain Levi saves the day.

Word Count: 1.2K

You wiped your clammy hands of the lace of your dress for the millionth time. Historia’s hands tugged at your hair as she braided it, you felt queasy. You’d waited for this day for so long, your whole life in fact. Not that marrying was your only aspiration in life, not by a long shot. But what little girl didn’t dream of walking down the aisle on her father’s arm, taking that leap with that one special person? Especially after all the shit that you’d been through, from fighting monsters, to overthrowing the government, saving the world that had forsaken your people. It was a whole ordeal, one that spared no time to chase romance or fairy tales. But at long last you’d found happiness, someone that understood your struggles, someone you could lean on in your weak moments. You weren’t nervous to marry Jean, he’d been nothing but perfect to you, a caring and intuitive lover. No you were nervous to see your father. He hadn’t been present in your life for sometime now, he was less than thrilled when you’d joined the military. He had wanted you to stay home and work for the family business as a bar maid, but you had bigger dreams. Your mother and siblings had arrived the day prior, but no sign of your father or even mention of him had been brought up.

You winced when Historia tugged too hard on a strand of your hair to pull it into the half up style, something you hadn’t worn since you were young since you’d cut your hair shorter.

“Sorry, I’m nearly finished.” She assured you as she spoke around the pins in her mouth.

“It’s okay.” You said, this was far from the most painful experience that you’d had. A soft knock on the door made you tense up, hoping that it was your mother with news of your father.

“Come in!” Historia said, not turning away from her work. The door creaked open and in wandered Mikasa, who was wearing her formal military attire. She closed the door softly behind herself, she came and sat beside you on a chair, following your gaze into the vanity.

“You look stunning.” She complimented, grey eyes soft and almost proud.

“Thank you.” You sighed as Historia finished your hair.

“All done!” She said with a clap of her hands.

“Thank you so much Historia.” You thanked her as you stood to accept the hand held mirror she offered to you to examine her hard work.

“It looks lovely, really it does.” You gushed as you studied the intricate braid that held the hair off your face.

“It does” Mikasa assured Historia who smiled proudly, her hand on your shoulder.

“It’s almost time.” Historia gushed, her eyes going to the small clock that ticked away on the wall.

“Has my dad-” You started, but the look on Mikasa’s face told you all you needed to know.

“Oh...” The disappointment was familiar yet crushing all the same. The girls gave you sympathetic looks as you inhaled a deep breath to steel yourself. Just like the rest of you life, you would be walking into this next chapter without him by your side.

“It’s fine, I’ll just...walk down the aisle and.” Your voice caught in your throat, you hated this, hated that you’d gotten your hopes up.

“You want me to get your mom?” Mikasa offered and you shook your head, you would do this alone.

“I can ask...Hange to-” Historia started but trailed off, a new thought coming to her.

“Or Levi?” She offered, her hand still grounding you to reality. Your eyebrow raised at the thought, it made sense. He had been with you since your cadet days, a constant figure in your life, in all of your lives.

“Please, can you get him.” You managed to choke out, Mikasa stood quickly and stalked out, determination glued to her features. Historia engulfed you in a tight hug, which you eagerly returned as you waited for Levi.

Mikasa returned to the large hall, filled with scouts and the few family members that still lived after the years. It was an intimate ceremony, with only the closest family and friends, so when Mikasa found Levi sitting next to Hange in the front row, she knelt down and whispered three simple words: “She needs you.”

That was all she had to say for Levi to stand and stalk towards the back of the church, where you were getting ready. His head buzzed with all the possibilities, were you hurt? Having second thoughts? Mikasa watched him with a pleased expression before going to stand with the other bridesmaids at the front, Sasha shot her a confused expression but said nothing.

Levi stopped outside of the dressing room, his hand raised to knock when the door flew open and there was Historia who looked relieved to see him.

“Captain-”

“Where is she?” He asked, his eyes looking past the small blonde to see you, wide eyed and lip quivering. Historia slid past him, as he entered the room, you looked beautiful, it seemed like just yesterday that you were a little brat, eager to serve your country. Now you were a woman, it was apparent now more than ever, with the stunning dress that fit you perfectly.

“Captain-” You said, lifting your chin despite the pained look in your eyes. Something that Levi hated seeing on you or any of his other cadets.

“What is it (Y/n)? What do you need?” He asked, crossing the room to stand in front of you. Your lips quivered and you brought a hand to cover your face as a small sob wracked your shoulders.

“He didn’t come. My dad didn’t come.” Levi frowned at your words, he knew how it felt to lack a father figure all too well. Not knowing what to say, he simply reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He grabbed your wrist tenderly and pulled your hand from your face, wiping the tears off your rosy cheeks softly to not ruin your makeup. You sniffled and looked at him with watery eyes.

“Lets go, he’s waiting for you.” Levi said, as he folded the fabric and pushed it back into his pocket. You nodded, a relieved smile gracing your lips. He held out his arm for you, his expression apathetic as always, but his grey eyes were soft and patient. You threaded your arm through his and squeezed, a silent thank you. He led you out of the room to the large hall, pausing at the door to give you one last look, you looked better. More like the determined and strong cadet that he had raised.

“Ready?” He asked softly as the pianist began to play. You nodded and he reached behind you to put the veil over your face before the two of you walked slowly into the room. Gabi walked in front of you, throwing petals down before you as you walked down the aisle, Falco a few steps ahead of her with the rings. The two of you reached the stage, Levi stopped there and you found yourself missing his steady hold, but you turned and thanked him in a soft voice. His gave you one of his rare smiles as you unlinked your arms and took the next step in your life.

#hange zoe #levi aot #armin arlert #eren jeager #eren mikasa armin #erwin smith #levi x reader #mikasa ackerman #aot fanfiction #connie springer #levi is a dad #father figure levi #marriage #levi fanfiction #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x you #requests are open #request

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jointimeandspace · 3 years

Text

Headcannon: What if Alcina and her darling had a baby? Warning: Fluff, fluff, fluff! Mentions of Postpartum.

I Love Your Body, Even If You Don't (SFW)

While growing up you had always wanted children. Despite them being messy, you absolutely adored them and would do anything to see them smile and giggling. You were the oldest out of four children-living conditions weren't easy, but you and your family were happy. Being the oldest sibling sometimes feels like being a second, and/or third parent...just ask Bela; you on the other hand were happy to help your mother and father and were thrilled when they announced your siblings over the years. The love you had for your family only increased, which caused you to want to start one of your own.

After yours and Alcina's union, you discussed it with her. At first Alcina was apprehensive (considering certain things that have happened), but she felt a change was needed to the castle. She wanted to know what it would be like having a baby around since her three oldest ones didn't have much of a childhood, nor did she as a matter of fact. After a few months of planning and discussions with the girls, the decision was final: they would arrange a plan with Mother Miranda.

It took over another year to test out all the necessary medicines and procedures, and there were many failed results. It seemed all hope was lost and you nearly gave up. After about the 100th procedure, a "positive" finally showed itself. You and Alcina were ecstatic and couldn't wait to make the announcement.

"Please do not celebrate so soon," Miranda said. "We still have to monitor you for at least another month so that we may be absolutely sure."

"Of course, Mother, we understand. However, I have a good feeling about this one," Alcina said.

One month turned into three, three turned into five, and your belly was practically about to burst at the end of the eighth month mark. You were overjoyed and a little nervous, but you remembered the love that your parents showered on you and your siblings and it helped eased your mind immensely-only a few weeks left--or a few minutes; the baby was early and ready to go. You were not prepared at all!

Time Skip- Four months later

"Aw, Mama! Annette is so big already. She's probably going to be as tall as mother," Daniela cooed at her baby sister.

"Dear heavens, I hope not! I refuse to be the shortest in the family," you rolled your eyes as you faked annoyance.

Daniela stroked the baby's face, lost in her pretty eyes. "Mama, I really don't think you have a choice. She's already wearing nine month sizes at 4 months, but it will be cute to be able to pick you up," Daniela grinned. "You could be our own little baby."

You laughed. "No, ma'am! As long as I'm the parent, the only babies will be you and your sisters. Now you go and have fun on the hunt. Bela and Cass have been expecting you for some time, I'm sure."

You kissed Daniela on the forehead as you bid her goodnight. She smiled and blew a kiss to the baby, leaving you and baby Annette alone. After feeding her and putting her into bed, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and any small glimmer of joy you had had gone out the window. You were always a curvy woman, but after giving birth you gained a bit more weight than you intended. Post-partum hit you like a brick that first week and it was hell. Constant crying, anxiety and depression, thoughts of self harm, maybe two hours of sleep a night, you really went through it all. The birth wasn't traumatic in any sense, but no one prepared you for the emotions and weight fluctuations that followed soon after- on top of that, Alcina unfortunately had meetings out the roof and was hardly home to help. Luckily the girls stepped in this past week for a day or two to help you catch up, but it wasn't enough.

"How are you feeling, draga?"

Alcina came up behind you and gave you a soft kiss on the lips. She looked concerned and wanted to comfort you.

" I'm conflicted, Alci. On one hand I'm so happy to have Annette with us, on the other..." you sighed. "Her birth wasn't traumatic, it was quite peaceful, so why do I feel so helpless, so worn out?"

Alcina kissed you again and led you to bed, wrapping you in her arms.

"I've gained so much weight, Alci. I feel ill and I can't stand to look at myself. When you tried to be romantic with me after Miranda gave us the ok, I thought I was ready, but I couldn't...I just felt...unattractive. I'm so sorry! I was tired and still feel that way. I know it feels like I was rejecting you and it probably made you angry..maybe that's why all those meetings."

"My love, birth is a wonderful and stressful process. I will admit, that it was rather selfish of me to assume that you would be ready to resume the sexual side of our relationship, but I received a reality check: I've never gone through a birthing process. I don't know what it's like to push pounds of a human out of my body, or go through feeling undesirable because my body isn't the same as it used to be. However, please know this: I'm very happy to have had a baby with you. I'd go through it all over again. And I could never be upset with you, especially if you aren't feeling well. As for the meetings, they unfortunately always show up at the worst possible time."

She tilted your chin up to make you look at her.

"You are so strong, so brave to have done this. You are a wonderful lover and a wonderful mother to our girls. That in my eyes makes you very attractive. And although you may not love your body as it is now, I do. It birthed our baby girl and carried her for months. You took your time making her so perfect for us, even though she decided that time was taking too long."

You both laughed. Annette was a stubborn one, but she reminded you of Alcina. She was absolutely perfect!

"Your body is beautiful to me, draga. Those beautiful curves, the roundness of your tummy, those warm, delicious thighs-your breasts are swollen and full with milk that I know you use to satiate our child's hunger. It's beautiful to see you bond with her that way. She adores you as I do. I know you want to get your body back in shape, but for now it must rest. If you decide to wait 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years, I will love you all the same. Mental health is just as equally important as body health and I want you to remember that. There is no need to stress your pretty self into a frenzy."

She gave you another kiss to your forehead. For the first time in two months, you actually felt happy. You were grateful to have your family, and you intended to shower them with affection as your parents had done to yours.

"Alci?"

"Yes, pet?"

"I'm so glad you still think I'm hot."

Alcina snorted with laughter, "Yes, yes I do."

"Good!" You kissed her lips and her hands. After settling under the covers and turning out the lights, your turned to her.

"Alcina? You are so warm and such a comfort. This is going to be a long journey for me since motherhood is relatively new, but with you and our girls by my side, I can achieve anything. I'm so ready for the long road ahead, no matter what happens!"

Alcina smiled. "Thank you, iubirea mea! Good night, and may sweet dreams find their way to you."

One final kiss, and the two of you drifted off happily and sleepily under the moonlight, dreaming of your upcoming adventures.

#resident evil 8 #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #alcina dimitrescu #alcina x female reader #alcina x reader #lady alcina #village

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besanii · 3 years

Text

shattered mirrors 73

[ set after #69 ]

He’s stumbling forward before he even realises he’s moving, knocking into the low desk with his foot and almost falling over if not for Lan Wangji’s steady hand around his elbow. His limbs feel like lead and his body moves as though wading upstream against a rushing river. His ears are ringing, his vision spotting at the edges, but through all of that he sees the person before him.

“A-Xian.” A sob bubbles up inside his throat at the sound of his name in her voice. “A-Xian.”

She too is stumbling towards him, arms outstretched and tears in her eyes. He wants desperately to fall into her arms, to bury himself in her embrace and let her warmth wrap around him and wash away the horrors of the last fourteen years. Pretend as though he is still Wei Ying, the ward of Yunmeng, her brother in all but name and blood, the little boy who had grown up as her second shadow.

Instead, he sinks to his knees at her feet and presses his forehead to the floor. Lan Wangji follows him to the floor, hovering protectively around him

“Your guilty subject pays respects to Gongzhu-dianxia,” he says. “I humbly beg Dianxia’s forgiveness for failing my duty to Yunmeng Jiang.”

There. He’s said it. The words that had been eating away at him all these years, the constant shadow of guilt lingering in the corner of his mind. His family had been tasked with the protection of Yunmeng and its royal family, it had been their job to gather intelligence and wield it in their defence.

He’d failed. And Yunmeng had fallen.

A strangled noise leaves Jiang Yanli’s throat.

“A-Xian, no,” she says. “No, A-Xian, there is nothing to forgive. Please, get up—”

She reaches for his hands, tugging at them to make him stand, but he remains resolutely prostrate.

“Gongzhu-dianxia, this guilty subject does not dare.”

Her hands tighten around his almost painfully for a moment before she sighs, her whole body sagging with the movement.

“You did everything you could,” she tells him. When he goes to deny it, she squeezes his hand again. “Look at me.” He reluctantly raises his head and sees her looking back at him with a tremble in the firm line of her mouth. “A-Xian, I would be dead—or perhaps worse—if not for you. You saved me.”

He presses his lips together in a hard line, his breath heavy through his nose as he struggles to keep the tears at bay.

“I could have done more,” he whispers. “I could have—”

“You did everything you could,” she repeats firmly. “A-Xian, there was nothing more you could have done. Not under those circumstances.”

A raw, wounded noise tears itself from his throat, through his tightly closed lips.

“I should have realised the reports were false,” he argues, hands twisting in the fabric of his robes. “I should have verified them personally, I—”

She takes his face between her hands, shocking him into silence.

There are new lines on her face, around her eyes and mouth, that hadn’t been there before; she’s older, he realises, and has had to fend for herself for many years. The Jiang Yanli before him now glows with health and vigour, dressed in the thick, coarse garments of the northern border tribes rather than the silks of the capital—a far cry from the sheltered princess from Yunmeng she had been in their youth. Her hands, still so small against his cheek, are rough and callused from hard labour.

“A-Xian, you did everything you could,” she repeats firmly. “It is in the past. Do not blame yourself any longer. Alright?”

He closes his eyes with a shuddering sigh.

And then he’s falling forward into Jiang Yanli’s waiting arms with an aborted cry, clutching at the back of her heavy cloak desperately. Her scent is different—the lotus blossoms replaced by something earthier and less floral—and the arms she wraps around him are stronger, the hug firmer than what he remembers. But the way her fingers run through his hair, the warmth of her body, the way she envelopes him in her embrace despite the difference in stature—there is no mistaking it. He would know it anywhere.

“Jiejie.” He’s repeating himself, over and over again, the way he has not done since they were children and it was still allowed. This is not a dream. “Jiejie, jiejie, jiejie—”

“A-Xian.” Jiang Yanli laughs, her voice thick with tears. “Oh, A-Xian, I’m so glad you’re alive. I’ve missed you so.”

He’s missed her too. There are no words to describe how much he’s missed her. So he just holds her tighter, buries his face in her shoulder as they sink to their knees in the middle of the study floor. He’s dimly aware of movement around them—the servants, perhaps, or Lan Wangji, stepping away to give them some privacy—but he doesn’t acknowledge them, overwhelmed by the fact that Jiang Yanli is here, in his arms, safe and sound after so many years.

“Fourteen years…” She pulls away, running her hands over his hair and face as she does, drinking in the sight of him. “A-Xian, you’ve lost weight.”

He shakes his head and laughs. “I’m alright. Don’t worry about me.” He leans into the hand resting on his cheek. “You look good, Jiejie. You haven’t changed at all.”

It’s her turn to shake her head, falling so easily into their familiar banter as she admonishes him for lying.

“Nonsense. Look at me.” She sits back on her heels and raises her arms to show off the travel-worn garb beneath her heavy cloak. “I’m just a humble farmer’s wife now.”

At the word ‘wife’, Wei Wuxian is suddenly reminded they are not alone. His attention is drawn to the doorway where Jin Zixuan stands with his arm around a boy of no more than ten. Gone are the fine, embroidered silks and gilded jewels signature to the Crown Prince of Lanling. Instead, both are dressed in the same thick, northern-style robes as Jiang Yanli, both with the same broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin and matching vermilion marks between their brows. Jin Zixuan offers him a nod when their eyes meet.

“Wei Wuxian, it’s been a while.” After a moment, he hastily corrects himself and bows. “My apologies, I did not mean any disrespect. Jin Zixuan greets Hanguang-wangye, Hanguang-wangfei.”

“Taizi—Jin-gongzi.” Wei Wuxian corrects himself quickly, returning his greeting with a short bow. “There is no need for such formality. It is good to see you all well.”

He is surprised to find he means it sincerely; there was no such goodwill the last time they had crossed paths, young and foolhardy as they were. But those days are long past. Gone is the spoilt young prince who had spurned the woman he regarded as a sister, buried beneath the cold ashes of a war that took everything from them in one fell swoop. This Jin Zixuan is a husband, a father, who had done the unthinkable—renouncing his claim to the throne of Lanling to search for Jiang Yanli without knowing whether or not she was even alive—and had been rewarded for his devotion.

Jiang Cheng, ah, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian thinks. I think even you would hold a bit of respect for him now.

Jin Zixuan’s eyes shift to Lan Wangji, standing silently behind Wei Wuxian, and offers a deeper bow, which Lan Wangji returns with an incline of his head. Jiang Yanli follows suit from where she is still on her knees with Wei Wuxian, bowing low at the waist.

“Jiang Yanli greets Hanguang-wangye, Hanguang-wangfei,” she echoes. “Thank you for taking care of A-Xian. Yunmeng owes you a great debt.”

Before either of them can react to dispute her claim, she turns to beckon the boy—her son, Wei Wuxian’s heart leaps with realisation—closer with one hand, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of the other. She draws the boy closer, turns him to face both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji with a warm smile and a comforting hand on his back. The boy looks up at them with something akin to awe in his eyes.

“A-Ling, come and pay respects to Wangye and Wangfei,” she tells him. “They are our family’s benefactors. Without their help, we would not be here today, so we must repay this debt however we can.”

“Yes, A-Niang.” Jin Ling steps away from his mother, squaring his little shoulders in a way that reminds Wei Wuxian of his father when they had first met, trying to put on an air of importance despite his small stature; he clasps his fingers in front of his chest and performs a textbook-perfect bow from the waist. “Jin Ling pays respects to Hanguang-wangye, Hanguang-wangfei.”

Wei Wuxian looks back at Lan Wangji, helpless in the face of their collective insistence, and sees the corner of Lan Wangji’s lips twitch. He sighs in defeat.

“Jin-xiao-gongzi,” he says, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Your mother’s family took me in when my parents passed, kept the roof over my head and the clothes on my back. Without them, I would not be here today. Whatever debt there is between us, let us wipe the slate clean now and start anew.”

He sees Lan Wangji incline his head in agreement, eyes soft as he holds out a hand to help him to his feet. His arm is warm and steady around his waist, his hand firm in his, holding him upright as he works to calm the storm of emotions warring within his chest. Finally, he gives the hand in his a brief squeeze and turns back to their guests with a bright smile.

“Now, let’s dispense with all this formality,” he says. “You must be tired from your journey—you must stay with us, here in Hanguang Manor. In fact, I insist upon it.”

Jiang Yanli exchanges a quick look with her husband.

“We do not wish to—” Wei Wuxian clears his throat pointedly, and Jiang Yanli falters mid-sentence, pauses and acquiesces with an amused sigh. “Then it would be impolite of us to decline such a generous offer.”

Translations

Gongzhu-dianxia (公主殿下) - Your Highness, the Princess

wangfei (王妃) - consort to the Duke, his legitimate wife/spouse

Notes

Approximately a billion years later!!!!

WWX called JYL jiejie as a child, before they got older and it was inappropriate to do so, after which he sometimes called her shijie in private, but mostly addressed her as Gongzhu-dianxia in public.

Any errors or inconsistencies will...be addressed at some point. It’s been a while and I need to revisit some things to remind myself what’s happened >_>

buy me a ko-fi!

more shattered mirrors fic | verse

#mdzs #wangxian #my writing #shattered mirrors fic #shattered mirrors au #lan wangji #wei wuxian #王爷机 X 花魁羡 #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #jin ling #🥢#wei wuxian arc #this got long #and i gave up trying to make it coherent #my brain is not working after the second pfizer dose

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sweetwolfcupcake · 3 years

Text

Allurement: Waves

Yandere Namjoon x Reader

The scantily-leaved trees held on to the last of their dying offspring. But the west-winds seemed to be unbothered, trying to tear away those leaves from the branches as the rest, hued in dull to bright shades of nature danced along on the ground.

And a few crushed beneath (Y/N)'s shoes, it would have been a fun activity: crushing dried leaves under her shoes. But she was rushing towards the car waiting for her.

"So quick!" Park Jimin, as sweet and polite as the man could be, was no less a sassy hellion if he required to be. And of all, he loved to sass around her the best. But most of the time, he did have a good reason to.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I woke up late." (Y/N) was quick to apologise, as she passed him a sheepish smile while taking a seat beside him.

"You are lucky that I like you, besides, we can always drive a bit faster, or take the shortcut? So do put on your seatbelt." he smiled at her before the car roared to life and the wheels came to life and the car went off.

It had not been too long since she had begun working under Mr Kim as his secretary, temporary secretary. About three months or so. But the previous autumn, when he had put forth the proposal of giving her the job, it did not feel long ago, while in reality. it had been a year, a whole, complete revolution of the earth around the Sun and there she was, riding with Jimin to her workplace- the Kim Group of Companies' headquarters, where the respected young CEO sat and operated from.

And within a year, nothing seemed to have changed, the water of life seemed to be stagnant. But she could feel the change, deep, greater changes like upheaval in the ocean, the waves, gigantic, monstrous, terrifying. Threatening to drown her. There was so much that had changed.

Park Jimin was a great company and an excellent friend. She had found out soon after the bond of friendship had been established between the two.

Kim Namjoon was an excellent boss and that, her job as his secretary, as reasonably draining, had so much to learn from. She admired Miss Choi for her efficiency, (Y/N) had so much more to learn, both from her job as well as her employer.

And she also discovered, gradually of course, that behind the all too sophisticated, groomed gentleman laid a clumsy gentle giant who would often burn his fingers trying to make himself a cup of coffee, or even trying to pass on hot food and drinks to her. And it was devastatingly endearing.

But most of all, (Y/N) had learnt that her mother was dying. The illness was eating her mother away, chipping away her health and endurance and there was nothing (Y/N) could do about it, nothing could prevent the inevitable. So she made peace with the fact, even though she knew that deep within, she was dreading the day her mother's sunken eyes would close for eternity. But she came to accept the fact that her mother could not be saved. All she could do was to make peace with the tragedy of life, that lied within the shortness of it.

So on the surface, (Y/N)'s life was calm and stable as a lake, yet the giant waves of changing wind terrified her under the same surface.

----

"You have a meeting with the lead investors this morning, the files and reports have been arranged at your desk." she listed off from her phone gifted by the company. It was not the day's schedule, a day in Kim Namjoon's life was nothing if it could not be defined as 'busy', it was the first half of a typical Monday morning in the company.

As soon as she was done, which was rather quickly, she placed a cup of steaming brew in front of her employer- double expresso with two cubes of sugar- just the way he liked it. Mr Kim smiled at her appreciatively. It was one of the many things she liked about him and admired. He never took his employees for granted, he had never failed to let her know that he appreciated her efforts to keep his day running smoothly and sorting things out for him.

"Thank you (Y/N), I hope you had your share of morning booster as well?" she nodded with a faint smile playing on her lips before handing off the files to him as she began to brief him regarding the topics and issues he and the company had been working on.

The projects and the required consumptions and stock- price data. It was not every day that the investors would gather at the conference room, but since a new project at hand was to begin, a meeting with the investors was required.

"Well, the reports look good (Y/N), did Mr Min mail you the required files?"

"Yes, the deal was explained there. He would be presenting along with you, it is regarding the profit margin and how the chances of loss and risk are low this time," she explained, to which he nodded

"Yes, and I require you to be with me in this meeting."

"Of course I will be with you, Sir, I am your secretary."

"No, I mean sit beside me, you won't be standing behind as you have been. And I expect all your focus on the presentation, okay? There is so much you would be learning from this." she gave him an obedient nod with a small smile.

She did not intend to disappoint him at any cost. Mr Kim was her role model, she looked up to him. Given, that she despised the spotlight and the position of CEO was not for her, but she was found herself to be a perfect fit for the position of secretary. Despite how demanding her job could get, Mr Kim was an excellent boss and mentor. He was at ease, most of the time. At most, she had seen his eyes grow cold and jaws clenched, perhaps only twice, that too if something went seriously downhill. It was a sliver of what might be laying under the controlled and calm persona. He was a human too after all.

She made her way towards her desk as soon as the briefing was over. Mr Kim's office was massive, and he did not wish to waste time on having to ring her to come to his office, thus he had a desk for her arranged in his office itself. It was kind of a mini-open office, her boss and her working under the same roof, no barriers between them, she could approach him anytime she wanted to and he did not need a phone anymore to summon her.

They had settled into a routine like that. She would begin her day by bringing him his much-needed cup of coffee and listing the first half of his morning schedule, then she could begin with her works of arranging files, stacking reports, sending emails, scanning through and replying to the mails, researching on the potential business partners, making and answering phone calls, deciding and listing appointment and other project-related materials those were deemed necessary by Mr Kim.

And all the months of working under him had been able to provide her with a unique perspective of him. There were so many things she would have never been able to discover otherwise, for instance, the fact that he loved crabs- not on his plate- but on his palms as he would gently cradle those tiny creatures whenever he would come across them. He even owned a crab, a pet crab. She would not have known had he not rambled off regarding his love for crabs while he had ordered gourmet food for them when she was required to stay some extra hours, which was a frequent occurrence. The workload could be a bit too much for him to handle, besides, those extra hours consisted far less of work one would expect and more of them talking, she had finally been able to let him enter her comfort zone, she would be damned if she had not. He had been exceptionally generous to her, he was kind and approachable, time and again he had proved it, both as a superior as well as a person.

He was warm, gentle and funny, unintentionally funny. Especially when he would break his glasses more than once a month, it would be a miracle if his AirPods would not be lost within the first week of purchase. And while his constant misplacement of files and other such important documents had managed to make her purse her lips in annoyance more than once. The warm, dimpled sheepish smile had did not allow the annoyance to remain. Because even if he would be exhausted after a day's of overwhelming work, he would not forget to wish her good night before they left the office, because even if she would be a bit late with her coffee, he never threw a fit like one would expect the boss to do. And because despite his busy schedule, he would manage to inquire about her mother's health.

Mr Kim was different. He was everything any woman would crave for and desire. And despite not being the one with shallow indulgence, she had found herself falling for her employer. It did not happen overnight. It was a gradual process, like sleep.

(L/N)(Y/N) was in love with Kim Namjoon, her boss, the heir of the legendary Kim Group of Companies.

And it had been so easy to fall in love with that man. Despite her previous reservations. And she was well-aware that the love would go tragically unreciprocated. They were worlds apart in more than one ways, the social gap, the economic gap, the professional. Everything laid in front of her to see, understand and accept the fact that her love for Kim Namjoon could not bridge the distance between the moon and a mere earthly admirer. To him, she would be many of the faceless women waiting for his attention and thronging around him if he came to know about her newfound feelings. And she did not want that to happen. She did not wish to ruin the sweet, friendly professional bond she had established with him.

And yet, she could not help the bittersweet blooms in her heart every time she would see him smile. Because she knew that sooner or later, he would be having a much warmer smile, eyes shining with love and adoration for a woman who would own his heart. It was impossible for a man like Kim Namjoon to remain single for long, he was the country's most eligible bachelor after all. Or perhaps he already had someone special in his heart, a secret lover perhaps. The mere thought dimmed her mood and often made her shoulders slump.

Of all the massive, daunting waves threatening to crash upon her, her newfound romantic attachment to her employer was the most terrifying one. Because she knew that wave would come crashing down and drown her. And that single wave against all others frightened her the most because it threatened to cause upheaval on the calm surface of her life and become the cause of her ultimate demise.

****

Taglist(Kindly remind me later if I missed anyone)- @whatpageisthis @amoc94 @theresa-nam-nam-me @dearbambideer @casualminiaturetimemachine @njrwifey @kpopisnicee @illnevertrustmyselfagain @potterbrooke @luvaffaire @bighitfics @mochimochipie @vixenwerr

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