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justalildumpling · 1 year

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chapter 33: you and me

wc: 2.3k

Red.

The colour that enveloped Donghyuck's brain causing him to fixate his attention towards the makeshift dance floor.

For some reason, everything that had spiralled over the past few months didn't seem to matter to him anymore. From the possibility of you being the admirer or the way you had been ignoring him for the past few days, were all erased from his mind. In fact, the only thing that seemed to matter was your feelings as he witnessed the scene unfold in front of him.

You were all dressed up pretty in your sparkly white dress with a red solo cup in your hand watching your boyfriend's tongue down another girl's throat. You sat perched on the edge of the large leather couch emotionlessly, sipping on the cheap beer in the middle of the tacky coloured lights in the living room.

Donghyuck stood with his backpack hanging half hazardously over his shoulder, with his feet seemingly stuck in the hallway, a multitude of questions running in and out of his brain.

Why haven't you ripped them apart and slapped him in the face? Why haven't you run out crying yet? What in the world was going through your head?

And man, did that frustrate him. Frustrated that he could not for the life of him decipher your emotions; Hurt? Anger? Betrayal? But more so frustrated that Sunwoo had played with your feelings.

Donghyuck could feel the anger seething from the inside, how could he? The boy who had kissed her oh so lovingly at the same spot on the dance floor was now kissing some other girl without any care in the world.

You were so beautiful, so perfect in his eyes. So the fact that Sunwoo would leave you for another girl baffled him.

He should've confronted you about it from the start, he should've warned you when he had the chance, if he had stopped your relationship from happening then maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt, maybe you would've been with him instead but he was too late, as he always was.

Donghyuck's hand tightened around the straps of his backpack, eyebrows furrowed as he stormed up behind you. He hastefully grabbed your arm, catching you off guard as you were pulled along by your wrist through the sea of grinding bodies in the living room.

"Wha- Donghyuck!"

Despite your protests and efforts to wiggling out of his grasp, you remained stuck to your best friend.

Though really, were you even surprised?

Throughout the seventeen years you've known Donghyuck, the one trait which stuck out to you the most was his godforsaken stubbornness. Though, you couldn't really complain as it was a trait you both shared.

You couldn't exactly tell whether it was a good or bad thing as this trait was the cause of most of your fights in your friendship. A big example being your exchange abroad, Donghyuck had whined and cried the weeks leading up to your flight, saying that he couldn't live without you and guilt tripped you every moment he had.

But on the other hand, it was the trait which arguably made your friendship the way it is today. With his persistent stubbornness of keeping in contact and FaceTiming everyday, you stayed closer than ever during your years abroad, which ultimately led to your decision to come home for the final years of university.

And now here you were, being dragged out of Sunwoo's house party and probably getting annihilated by whatever he had plotted in his brain.

In what felt like circles around the entirety of the party, Donghyuck eventually led you outside of the house. It was only then you realised how claustrophobic the atmosphere was as you took in the fresh scent of the blooming jacarandas by the side walk.

You stood and stared at the swaying tree branches for a short while, trying to ignore his intense stare at your figure and the stupid way it made your heart feel like it was going to explode.

It took you a few seconds to finally look into his eyes, and what you thought would be a greeting of his usual puppy-like eyes was met with a fiery gaze, fists clenched almost shaking.

Oh, you fucked up.

Was he that angry at you for ignoring him? Was this the end of your friendship forever? Did you need to get on your knees to beg for forgiveness by buying him ice cream for the next two months?

Maybe it was the suffocating silence which irked him or maybe it was the fact that you were acting completely fine after the ordeal which finally made Donghyuck break.

"Look, I led you outside because I was this close to punching the living hell out of Sunwoo."

You blinked a couple times, confusion overriding your panicked state, "Pudu, what the hell is going on?"

Donghyuck's gaze which was once intensely held at the front door, snapped to yours once again.

"Are you kidding me right now? Your boyfriend just kissed another girl in front of you!" He hissed, throwing his hands up in the air.

You shook your head in disbelief, "What on earth are you talking about? What boyfriend?"

"Sunwoo!"

Donghyuck's voice resonated down the empty streets and echoed in your mind. The two of you remained silent for a good minute, with only Donghyuck's heavy breathing filling the thick void.

It was then you felt a light giggle tickling in your throat, breaking the silence once again, "Pudu, he's not my boyfriend, it was a joke that was posted out of context."

Donghyuck stood dumbfounded, the tight grip on his backpack strap loosening before it fell to the concrete path with a thud. As your eyes met with his puzzled ones, the infectious laughter you tried holding back poured out of your lips.

“Why did he kiss you then?” His voice barely audible, cracking a few times, “Why did you let him?”

You weren’t exactly sure why you had let Sunwoo kiss you, maybe it was the alcohol that seeped into your system, maybe it was the heat of the moment or maybe it was because you felt like you owed something to him. Silence had tumbled into your conversation once again, your smile dropping as you failed to provide him with an exact reason.

“Talk to me Y/N, you can’t just do something like that and not explain it.” Donghyuck burst out, grabbing a fistful of his hair, "It's you isn't it?!"

You paused, lips wavering and eyes darting away from him to focus back on the dancing flower branches in the background.

"The letters, it was you wasn't it? I'm not going insane am I?" Donghyuck spoke again, almost desperately as his hands hovered over yours to hold.

This was it, this was the moment. The moment which could change your entire dynamic. You were stepping between the dangerous boundaries of your friendship, a place which you had protected and been terrified to confront for most of your life.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to lie, to refute every evidence he provided to prove his point, to cackle and wave it off and gaslighting him, telling him he’s crazy and how you would never think of him in that light.

But, you didn’t, you couldn’t. Not after everything you two had gone through the past few months, all the misunderstandings, the ignorance and the people who got tangled into your web of secrets.

"You're right." You uttered, your eyes hesitantly flickering back onto his, "It was me."

Donghyuck stood speechless for a moment, wondering if the words that you had just uttered were really true. But looking at the way you timidly stood with your fingers trembling in anticipation, he knew that it was indeed real.

“Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you felt the same way. You're my best friend, my platonic soulmate, someone I genuinely cannot live without, and the thought of losing you fucking scared me because…" You halted your words once again, taking a small breath in.

"Because, I love you Lee Donghyuck," You reached out to reciprocate his outstretched hand, "So much that it actually hurts."

He remained quiet, his stare softening at your touch before breaking into his pretty smile, pulling you into his arms by your wrist.

"Thank god," He muffled into your hair, tears threatening to form in the corner of his eyes as he melted into your embrace, "Thank fucking god."

Pulling away from your body, he tentatively cupped your face, bringing your faces closer. It was reminiscent of the day on the steps, the first time you had seen his face up close. The first time you noticed how his lashes fanned out so elegantly, how the tip of his nose turned upwards into the cute button you adored.

But this time, it was his lips. It was the way he muttered “I love you” against your lips before closing the gap. The way it slotted perfectly against yours, moving in tune with one another, the way his grip on your waist hardened, tugging you closer to his broad figure as if he never wanted to let you go.

"I love you," he repeated, before pecking at the tip of your nose, "I love you so much."

Pure bliss was the only emotion you felt as he kissed you. With every lingering touch, every smile he embraced against your lips, all the doubts of him lying about his feelings faded.

It took a couple tries for you to pull away from his warmth, mostly due to Hyuck refusing to let you go. But knowing that both of you needed oxygen to live, he finally tipped his head back but his eyes never left yours. It was a moment he wanted to cherish for the rest of his life, from the way his confessions flowed out so naturally from his lips to the butterflies which tackled the walls of his chest.

But it mostly was you, the way your eyes crinkled as your lips were etched into a smile, the way you looked oh so lovingly back at him and the way he knew that you were the one, the one who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Donghyuck felt his heart flutter once again, the kaleidoscope of butterflies escaping his heart and into his stomach. God he had missed seeing your smiling face. He missed your presence, your strange jokes and just you.

Everything felt almost perfect, you and him exchanging smiles and pleasantries once again, with all the misunderstandings cleared but one overarching question still remained unsolved.

“So what happened with Sunwoo?” He asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer to the question.

“Sunwoo told me he liked me,” You quietly stated, your breath shuttering, “Apparently he’s liked me for a while and he asked if he could kiss me so he could to move on.”

You recalled Sunwoo’s words on the dancefloor, the way he pulled you closer to his body with a foreign look of vulnerability in his eyes, the way his grip on your hands tightened as he confessed.

But most of all, it was his kiss.

You had witnessed Sunwoo kiss a variety of people in your life, though every time it always seemed to be the same. The same emotions of sexual tension and frustration, the way he gripped onto their shirts roughly and drawing back from them like nothing ever happened.

But for you it was different. It was like a sense of softness, an innocent feeling, no lingering emotions of lust or desperation. It was the way he moved against your lips cautiously, making sure you were okay with everything he was doing, if he was doing it properly, savouring every second until he pulled away with a sad smile, encouraging you to find your supposed other half.

As you began squeezing past the crowded dance floor to reach the hallway, you remembered turning to your best friend one last time, hoping that he would be happily dancing with an unfamiliar face, brushing off the way you had let him down, the way you had broken his heart a few moments back like he always did.

But instead he stood silently in the midst of the drunken crowd, his eyes never leaving your figure with a smile on his face, not the usual flirty glint or the mischievous smirk he always wore but a genuine smile.

You could feel your tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, heart clutching up in your chest, “I thought that was the least I could do for hurting him.”

“But it doesn’t matter, cause it’ll never change the fact that I fucked up.”

A quiet sob escaped your lips as you covered your face with shaky hands, “I’m sorry Hyuck, I’m sorry for hurting you too, I’m sorry for all the misunderstanding that I caused the past few months, I’m sorry for everything.”

Within seconds you were back in Donghyuck’s arms again, with him softly patting the back of your head as you cried into his chest, “It’s okay love, I forgive you and I’m sure Sunwoo will too.”

The mention of Sunwoo’s name filled your heart with guilt, your eyes welling up in tears once again, “What if he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore?”

Donghyuck shook his head, raising his hands to cup your face, catching the stray tears with his thumbs, “You trust me don't you?”

You dipped your head in response, with a teary attempt at a smile.

“Everything will be okay Y/N, you just need to talk to him.”

masterlist || previous | next

pairing: haechan x fem! reader

synopsis: it’s no lie that haechan only started his college matchmaking business due to his nosy personality. it’s also no lie that he was a little jealous of everyone he had helped out as he had no love life of his own. well, that was until his childhood friend moved back and mysterious love notes started appearing in his matchmaking inbox… addressed to HIM?!

genre: social media au, college au, fluff, crack, one sided pining, best friends to lovers

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol

note: yeah... i think i went a bit too overboard with the word count when writing this but HAAHHAHA oops

taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :))) ~ @daincty @yipyipmorals @n0hyuck @loveholicness @najaemin138 @kpopwh0r3 @sadisticfries @daegalfangirl @bettyschwallocksyee @pradagukkie @mworkswatermelon @cacaubs @liljeongseong @scftharu @sunflowerhae @theskzvibe @stopeatread @dearlyminhyung @rrnhyuck @rv7hsua @shwizhies @matchahyuck @seobecca @seungjiseyo @butterfliesinthenightsky @squishy-maimon @vantxx95 @aforlornmystery @luvenshiti @shxnz @txtingme @l33j3n8 @fleursxiao @dandelionxgal @hyvckswrld @rinrinslovebot @purenjuniverse @mqrkfrl @y3jiishot @heavenly-seraphic @ismileeprnc-responder @jenyoonoh @ckline35 @galacticpurpl3 @tyongspice1 @neosdaisy @sundamariis @isabelleonabicycle @octubreuno @deehyuck @babyjenono

permanent taglist: ~ @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @produmads @w3bqrl

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doveypink · 3 years

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the one i left behind [technoblade imagine]

summary: you recount the moments leading up to your death. genre: angst words: 5.3k warnings: death, (past) abusive relationships, swearing, general violence a/n: i've been working on this one for a long time. i hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it!!

[ part two: come and find me ]

Freezing. I was absolutely freezing.

The brisk wind was sharp, leaving pinpricks of its icy touch upon my skin. I could have sworn there was snow, but when my eyes finally cracked open to peer around me, there was only the burning blaze of the sun and lush fields surrounding me. I turned my head to the side lazily, feeling the grass tickle my cheek. My body felt stiff and I stretched my arms out as though clasping the sky between my fingers, and my muscles loosened as I lifted myself from the ground. How long had I been laying there? Time seemed to escape me as I tried to recollect myself. I was just tired, that was all; if I went home now, I’m sure I would remember again. I would make myself a big meal, as well, something hot to melt away my chill, even though I didn’t seem to feel any ounce of hunger within me.

I walked in the direction of a place I couldn’t quite remember, attempting to turn the preceding events over in my mind. The only thing I could seem to recall was the smell of something burning, a bright flash of light, a big bang — fireworks, an image of creation and destruction all at once. It was almost as though I had never existed before this moment, lying in a bed of flowers, untouched by the calloused hands of the living.

I walked through the field, reaching out to pick a single flower from the blades of grass—a blood-red carnation—when I noticed that the shade of my skin had lost its warmth. Where it once had the flushed undertone of my blood, it was now ashen with the impression of death. I flinched, suddenly shivering as my cold bones once again made themselves known. A thought occurred to me, a memory that had slipped my mind in my haze: I only had one life left.

And I lost it.

Without thinking, my feet began to glide over the earth, kicking up dirt and pebbles as I ran. If I had lost my last life, something awful must have happened. What was it? I tried to pull the memories from the vault in my mind, but it seemed to be locked. All that was left were the shadows under the door, the footsteps in the distance, the keyhole that could only provide a glimpse into a scene.

I smelled it, then, the same scent that I recalled upon waking up, though fainter: something hot and burnt. Up ahead, there was a wisp of smoke floating above the trees, and I hurried towards them. The ground became blackened with scorch marks and, among the ruins of a building I could no longer recognize, I caught sight of blood. My heart sank, and with a start, I realized that there was a crater full of rubble and fires that had long been burning. I stepped through the debris, stumbling over broken doors, shards of glass, golden goblets and picture frames; dozens of signs of life all buried in ash and smoke, melted into a haunting image of destruction. Nothing was recognizable, but I knew what this place was: L’Manburg. Or, more accurately, what was left of it.

I searched the ruins of the country, cringing at the blood streaked debris and discarded weapons and armor that lay haphazardly among the wreckage. I circled the edge of the massive crater, unable to step much further into the space due to its depth. I looked down at the scorched land and moved out, surveying the surrounding area.

Upon noticing the remnants of a building—someone’s house, maybe? It was too far gone to make out—I felt compelled to search what was left of the structure. I wasn’t sure what drew me to suddenly climb through burnt wood and broken cobblestone; some part of me felt as though I would find an answer to all my questions, a sign, anything to point me in the right direction. I felt desperate to find something to satisfy the tug in my cold heart. My freezing hands sifted through the mess, shoving away rubble and pushing through the debris until my hands were covered in dirt and bruised from the digging. My hands suddenly found something smooth and dense, and my searching became frantic as I pushed through the ruins to find what I had been unknowingly searching for: my bow. I tugged it out from under stone and dirt, running my fingers down the edge of the smooth silver. It remained unmarked despite the destruction surrounding it, the curve of its limbs untarnished and shining brilliantly in the evening light. I searched some more and discovered the hard shell of my arrow quiver and a number of silver-tipped arrows still inside. I stood and slung the quiver over my shoulder with my bow in hand, feeling almost complete with the items on my person.

The wind picked up and blew through my hair, insisting that I look further. I stepped into the wreckage of the building, an unsettled feeling rising in the pit of my stomach. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of red against pale grey stone; I turned, staring at the scene before me with wide, horrified eyes.

A short distance from where my bow was found, there was a violent splatter of crimson against the rubble. It looked like a balloon full of paint had popped, streaking the cold stones with a sickeningly bright shade of red. Among the drying mess, there was a flurry of scorch marks strewn across the area, a minor crater digging into the earth where the scene lay. I realized what this all was, my hands trembling as I clutched my bow.

I had died here.

I screwed my eyes shut, plagued with a sudden onslaught of memories that I no longer wished for. Falling to my knees, I held my head in my hands and shook violently, my head pounding with a torrential rain of scenes flashing in my mind. All I could do was be swept away in the flood.

* * * * *

“Are you still mad at me?”

I blinked at Techno with an arrow in hand, sharpening its tip and inspecting the edge. I was mad at him, but I didn’t feel like giving him an answer. If he had to ask, he already knew; we were both smart enough to understand each other like that. He sighed when I wordlessly turned my gaze back to my arrow, stepping towards me and plucking it from my grasp. I jumped up, prepared to steal it back. “Hey—!”

“You know why I had to do this. Don’t get mad at me,” Techno said, his voice low and serious.

I crossed my arms and frowned. “Right. You have to team with Dream just to blow up a country. You definitely couldn’t have done it on your own or, I don’t know, with me to help, yeah? Because the great Technoblade is always right—”

“We have common interests—”

“And I hate being interrupted.”

Techno went silent after I snapped at him, adjusting his cape while I gritted my teeth. “I thought you hated him,” I said slowly, “and I hated him too. You know what he did, you know how it hurt me, and you still…” I trailed off, feeling suddenly exhausted—exhausted from fighting, exhausted from chasing a peace I could never have.

Techno placed a gentle hand on my shoulder—a gesture he rarely used, and reserved for me—and met my eyes. “Just this once,” he said. “I still owe him a debt, but this will be the end. It’s within our reach.”

“I could die,” I said plainly. This made Techno pause, his entire body freezing over like a lake in winter, so I pushed further. “I could die. I could lose my last life, and I gladly will for what we’re doing, because I believe in this. I know we haven’t always been right, but I know that this is. I hate that you let Dream in, and I’m going to be angry. I deserve to be angry.”

“You’re not going to die,” he said with certainty. “Not when I’m there.”

I couldn’t tell if Techno was trying to reassure me or himself with his words, but either way, the weight of the possibilities made my stomach turn with anxiety. “You can’t be so sure. I’m not exactly as talented as you are at everything,” I countered.

“Don’t say that,” Techno insisted, his tone full of frustrated reassurement. “I won’t ever let anything bad happen to you. Never again. And hey,” he started, poking my cheek, “you’re more than capable of handling yourself, anyway. You couldn’t die even if you wanted to.”

“I think you have too much confidence in me, Techno.”

“Cut that sentence 3 words short and I’ll consider agreeing with you.”

I sighed, finally letting myself crack a small smile. “I’m still mad at you, but I trust you. Only out of pity though—I know you couldn’t last a day without me around.”

Techno grinned, his sharp-toothed grin melting the ice as he returned my arrow. “Good thing it’ll never come to that.”

I shook my head, twirling the arrow in my hand while I inspected it silently. Techno turned away to prepare his own weapons, leaving me alone with the aftermath of our conversation.

My anger had been redirected with my friend’s words of reassurance, now colliding with my resentment for Dream. Even though I did have faith in Techno, I still feared the possibility of Dream playing a trick on us. I sharpened my arrow and considered my choices: I follow Techno’s lead and go along with Dream’s help, or I take matters into my own hands. I finished up with my arrows, placing them neatly into my quiver as I prayed that the latter wouldn’t have to occur.

I already knew well enough that war was brutal.

With a deep, tired sigh, I leaned back and recalled a time not so long ago—just a few years at most—when I wasn’t resentful of Dream. We were friends, once, and I’ll admit that I admired him; I bitterly wondered what would have happened if I had ever found the courage to tell him just how much I adored him, but the thought made some long forgotten part of me ache, prickling my heart with thorns. It was shameful of me to wonder what could have been, even more so to speak it; there was a reason why only Techno knew, and there was a reason why his decision made my blood bubble over in frustration and betrayal.

I considered the moment I caught Dream shifting, edging away from his former self as his own hubris overtook him, rotting his soul as something else took form. He had always treated me as an equal, and he charmed me with his kind words and gentle gaze. I couldn’t begin to understand how suddenly he was so cruel to me, taking me by surprise when his usual soft tone became sharp and grating, tearing me apart from the inside out. I had only ever been supportive of him, even when he did things I couldn’t agree with; even when his friends turned their backs on him; even when I found myself seeking his approval at every turn despite his cruelty. Nothing I did could ever seem to be enough.

The first time I was separated from Dream was after Techno captured me, initially planning to use me as leverage against his rival to put an end to the government. After finding me, though, he must have seen what I couldn’t: the hollowness that Dream had left behind. The anarchist took pity on me, if you could even call it that; mostly, Techno shook me awake from the nightmare I had been living and made me realize the extent of Dream’s manipulation. I felt dirty for a long while after my realization, plagued with the sense that I would never feel safe or whole again. A part of me still felt that way, even, but at least I had the sense now to not seek out the shadows when they beckoned me over.

Technoblade was a surprisingly good friend through it all. It was him who helped me become myself again, but he would always argue that it was my own doing. He frustrated me sometimes with his monotonous tone and his thirst for anarchy, but at the end of the day, I could never stay mad at him; Techno had a good heart, and his honesty and dedication to his morals was enough to convince me. Even through my fog of anger at his teaming with Dream, even when I questioned whether this was a good idea, a sensible part of me knew that this was nothing like what Dream had done to me. Techno didn’t hide his nature as Dream did, and I could trust him in that.

A knock on the cabin door brought me out of my thoughts. I heard Techno’s footsteps as he stepped back into the room, a knife in hand. “Do you know who it is?” he questioned, scrutinizing the door when I shook my head in response. I stood from my chair and followed behind Techno, who peeked out the window and let out a tired sigh before swinging the door open.

“Hello, Dream. What are you doing at my house?” my friend deadpanned.

Dream lowered his grinning mask, his own lips drawn back into a polite smile. “Oh, just checking in before tomorrow. I wanted to see if you needed anything.”

“You could have sent a message first,” Techno replied, tapping the messenger device on his wrist. “I don’t really appreciate unwanted guests.”

“I figured it wouldn’t be much of a problem since we’re on the same side now. And I tend to find surprise visits are a lot more… Insightful,” Dream mused. His eyes peeked over Techno’s shoulder to meet mine and I stiffened, standing straighter. Dream, perceptive as usual, smiled wider, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners before he spoke to me in a soft voice. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

A cold hand gripped my heart, the blood pulsing in my ear drums. I hated him; I hated that he hardly had to speak for me to begin to crumble. I attempted to reply in a steady voice despite the slight tremor that shook me. “Yeah, it has.”

Before Dream could say anything else, Techno stepped up as though to shield me. “You know, we have everything we need here. You should probably make sure your things are sorted, though,” he announced.

Dream’s smile faltered for half a second before returning. “Hm, I think you’re right. Just remember to give me the signal,” he said, beginning to turn away from the door. Dream hesitated, giving me one last look before he addressed me, his words kind, though laced with a cold, haunting tone. “I’ve missed you. Good luck tomorrow.”

It wasn’t until Techno had shut the door and confirmed that Dream had left that I allowed myself to breathe. I hadn’t even realized that I was holding my breath in the first place; I felt lightheaded and weary as Techno sat me down and asked if I was alright. I nodded, watching the worried man cross the room to fetch me a glass of water. With a shudder, I took in the sight of the floorboards and listened to my friend rummaging around the kitchen. My stomach churned and my mind flashed with sudden clarity about what I would have to do.

I was going to kill Dream.

The following day felt like a blur. Every motion leading up to the total destruction of L’Manburg was like a sharp jab of a paintbrush, a swipe across a canvas already drenched in paint. There was a picture here, some greater meaning when you stepped away from it all, but in the midst of things, it didn’t quite matter. All Techno cared about was erasing the country for good and keeping us alive; all I wanted was to get the day over with.

I had spent the entire night trying to decide whether it was truly a good idea for me to go after Dream or leave him be. A part of me felt that it was a terrible idea, a decision that would only serve to lead me to certain death; still, another part of me wanted closure. I didn’t think of myself as anything special compared to Techno, Phil, or even Dream himself when it came to combat skills, but the truth was that I was more than capable of holding my own in battle. I had been through my fair share of wars, and the experience in addition to training with Techno led me to become a skilled warrior of my own. As I considered it, I found myself realizing with a newfound confidence that I had the strength to take down Dream all on my own if I wanted to. My only question was how I would go about this.

The answer came surprisingly soon.

Techno and I had been doing well against L’Manburg’s defense—there was only a scare when Sapnap came close to taking one of Techno’s lives during a fight, but I had stepped in with a nicely timed arrow to his head, which made our enemy disappear into a cloud of smoke as his life was lost. Techno and I chugged some invisibility potion, courtesy of Phil, and hid around a building to watch everyone fight off the withers while we healed ourselves.

“What’s taking him so long? We’ve been at it for—” Techno glanced at his watch, “—thirty minutes! And here I thought Dream was all about punctuality,” my friend griped, taking a bite out of an apple.

“I’m not surprised. Of course he would choose today to take his sweet time,” I assessed, thumping my head against the brick building. “He’s probably going over his plans to sacrifice us next as we speak.”

“We are not getting sacrificed.”

“You never know,” I hummed. “It’s not a bad thing to be cautious, is it?”

Techno snorted. “Well, I suppose not. We’ve survived this long, though, so I have a good feeling about this.”

I nodded, peering in the direction of my friend. We couldn’t see each other due to the potion, but if I focused hard enough, I could catch a shift in the light that alerted me of his position. I felt a sudden urgency within me—some calling to spill my fears, inky and black, before I choked. “I need you to do me a favor,” I blurted.

I watched the light shift and turn. “What? What’s going on?” Techno wondered.

“If something happens to me, if I lose my last life,” I began in a serious tone, “don’t look back.”

“I… don’t understand. What are you saying? You won’t—”

“Techno, if I die, you carry straight through with the plan. Don’t come for my things, don’t try to help me, just go. Please. Can you promise me that?”

The light shimmered slowly, hesitantly. “Of course you choose now to drop that on me,” Techno muttered bitterly, but I could hear the underlying hurt. “I can never say no to you, though, can I?”

“It is your best trait,” I joked, though there was a heaviness in my voice.

The shift in the light leaned back as Techno sighed. “Alright, fine. It won’t come to that, but I’ll do it. I promise.”

“Thank you. For everything,” I confessed, stressing the importance of all that he’s done for me in my reply.

Before Techno could reply, a resounding boom went off nearby. Dirt and debris flew past us as plumes of gray smoke shrouded our sight. Between the clouds of smoke, I could see a flash of bright green and a bone-white mask.

“He’s here,” Techno mumbled next to me. “Let’s get moving.”

The pair of us sprinted across the land, dodging at the sight of explosives and attacking enemies under the guise of our invisibility. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dream dropping TNT from the tops of buildings and hurling them at every patch of land in his vicinity. By the time he was finished, I knew there would be nothing left.

The invisibility began to wear off shortly after that, and I watched as Techno’s vibrant red cape began to fade back into view. I followed my friend from a short distance until I realized that Dream was completely distracted in his efforts to destroy the nation. As Techno veered down one path, I caught him by the arm. “I’m heading the other way,” I said.

Techno immediately began to protest. “No, you’re not. Don’t be stupid.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You were the one worried about losing your last life, and now you’re trying to split? We have to stick together.”

“I’ll be quick. You won’t even know I’m gone,” I reasoned, already turning to leave. “I promise I’ll be back.”

Techno frowned, but eventually his shoulders became less tense as he reluctantly decided to let me go. I gave him a nod of thanks before hurrying off to a building that hadn’t yet been destroyed. Fortunately for me, the citizens seemed to have cleared out, so no one was there to intervene as I leapt over crumbling buildings and the charred remains of the nation. My heart raced in my chest and I clutched my bow tightly in my hand. It would all be over soon enough, I thought, and I would be the one to end it all.

I reached a building that hadn’t been completely damaged from the TNT and scaled the wall. My fingers were wedged into the grooves of the brick until I reached the ledge at the very top, tugging myself up and throwing my legs over the side. I huffed and looked up to watch Dream, practically gliding on air as he hurled explosives at the ground without remorse. I squinted and realized through the haze of smoke and ash that he had nearly hit bedrock, yet he continued to demolish the same area of land. It was like he wanted to blow a hole straight through the ground, so deep that he’d be able to see the other side.

I shook away the nervous shudder that ran down my spine and instead raised my bow to aim while Dream was distracted. I glared at the back of his head and lined my sight to him, the familiarity of the motion sending a sort of ease through my tense muscles.

It was an easy shot. I could do it.

I drew a deep breath and held it while I drew my arrow back, pulling the string taut. With a slow sigh, I released.

My arrow soared above the destruction, seeming to transcend the rules of time and space. The light made the metallic edge glimmer as though a star was shooting across the expanse of land, bright and beautiful and destructive all at once.

Dream was still turned away as the arrow launched towards him, and for a moment I felt sure that I had succeeded in my efforts. Right before the arrow was able to lodge itself in his head, though, Dream ducked, and the arrow flew past his head. He rose again to stand straight and turned slowly to face me, the blank eyed smile on his mask mocking me. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I frantically drew another arrow to fire, this time pointed at his heart.

Before I could release the arrow, Dream held up a stick of dynamite and pelted it right next to the building I stood on. It was close enough that I took damage and fell back as the earth shook around me. My head smacked against the roof and I groaned at the dizzy shock that sparked against my skull. I lay there, my head pounding, focused on the rumble that rattled my bones as I tried to regain my bearings.

By the time I had struggled onto my knees, Dream was hovering over me. I glared up at him for one silent moment before snatching my bow and striking his mask, which cracked and shattered to the ground. He stumbled back and I took my chance to load an arrow, but my head was still pounding, my coordination thrown off by the blow I had taken. Dream took advantage of my weakness and kicked the bow out of my hands, where it skidded across the roof and over the edge. I had made a feeble attempt to catch it before it tipped over, but I was too late.

Dream caught a fistful of my hair, yanking me backwards, and I growled, an animalistic sound that scratched my throat as I dragged my feet and struggled in his grasp. I kicked up dirt and clawed at the pale hands that trapped me, yelping when my captor shoved me to my knees. I must have looked ridiculous, like a child throwing a tantrum, as I thrashed and screamed to try and get away. “This is what happens to anyone who doesn’t follow my orders. You really thought you were smart enough to turn on me?” Dream laughed darkly, tightening his grip even as I scratched streaks of red into his skin. “You’re pathetic. I almost feel bad for you.”

“Fuck you,” I spat, attempting to jerk away, but Dream’s grip was unbreakable.

“I hope you’re not this rude to Technoblade. Where is he, by the way?” I struggled while Dream called out for my friend, who I watched sprint towards us between exploding buildings and smoke.

“Dream, what is this?” Techno heaved, meeting us on the building.

The man in question nodded his head towards me, a warrior bloodied and brought to my knees. “I think it’s about time I used that favor,” he said coldly.

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, and I felt my body begin to numb with fear. If I wasn’t sure of it before, I was now; this was the end for me.

It was almost laughable, the irony of this situation; the promises to keep each other safe that I had made with my best friend—the only friend I had left—were tearing apart at the seams.

“Maybe you should rethink this before you do something you’ll regret, Dream,” Techno threatened.

“Oh, I won’t be regretting anything. But you might.” Dream gestured with his free hand towards the bundle of fireworks in Techno’s hand. “Kill them.”

The situation was eerily similar to another from so long ago in this very nation—when Techno was ordered by Schlatt to kill Tubbo. I could see the realization in his eyes, the acknowledgment of the parallels, the regret and anger and so much fear. I had never seen him so scared, but he remained stubborn. “I won’t do that,” he replied.

Dream’s grip tightened as he jerked my head forward for emphasis. “Listen, Technoblade, you’re going to kill your little friend here because you owe it to me. If you choose not to, I’ll just take them for myself so I can do it instead. You probably wouldn’t want that, though—I won’t be so kind. Oh, and don’t even think about trying to kill me instead. One of you was already stupid enough to try.”

“This isn’t what I meant when I said I’d do you a favor.”

“Isn’t it, though? Look around, Techno. The only reason this is happening right now is because Tommy betrayed you. He could have chosen you, he could have stayed on your side, but he didn’t. This is the consequence, right? And this—,” I yelped as Dream snatched me and held me up as evidence, “—is what happens when I’m betrayed. You all agreed to help me, and now my trust is broken. So pick up a fucking weapon and do me a favor.”

My friend stood frozen as he tried to calculate some way out of this, but I knew I had ruined any chances of a better life for us. It was my actions that were about to get me killed, by the only person who ever truly loved me, nonetheless.

“Do it,” I told Techno. “Please, just get it over with.”

Technoblade looked down at me, his eyes full of hurt as his brows furrowed. “No. You’re crazy, why would I do that? I made you a promise—”

“So did I. But there’s nothing else to do. I fucked it up, so I’m asking you to do this. Not for him, for me,” I pleaded, painfully aware of the grip Dream had on my hair. “I’d rather it be you. No one but you.”

I watched as Techno’s face contorted into a woeful expression. The guilt was bubbling over in the pit of my stomach, an all-consuming feeling that made me sick with sorrow for what I was asking him to do. We were one and the same, him and I, a pair of lonely people made better with the other around. I would miss him and, even if he never chose to admit it, I knew he would miss me too. I could only hope that my absence wouldn’t destroy him.

Slowly, Techno raised the firework launcher as he pointed it at my head. “You know, I always had a soft spot for you.”

My smile was regretful and watery; I prayed that he could hear my apologies without having to speak them out loud. I prayed even more that he could hear my unspoken words of gratitude, the unfinished symphony that was our friendship. “You’re the only person who ever knew me.”

Behind me, Dream groaned in annoyance. “Shut up with the monologues and get it over with,” he griped. With a harsh shove, the tip of the fireworks were pressed against my forehead. I bit my tongue, the metallic taste of blood in my mouth as I tried not to seem too meager in my final moments. Dream dropped me to my knees as he escaped the line of fire, now peering over Techno’s shoulder in waiting. I watched my friend’s hands shake, the light tremble of his finger as it hovered over the trigger. I wanted to give him some sort of reassurance, but how could I? How do you ease the heart of someone forced to kill their friend?

With a shaky, mournful sigh, Techno looked down on me, his knuckles white as he gripped the weapon. “I’m sorry,” he said.

I squeezed my eyes shut with tears running hot over my cheeks, trying to recall a better picture in my mind. I thought of when I first met Techno, brainwashed and broken, a person slowly made whole again. I thought of the softness in his eyes even as he yelled at me over some mistake I had made. I thought of the nights he spent hunched over his desk writing about anything until I threw a blanket at him and dragged him into his bed. I thought of the mornings we would wake up early on a day of traveling just to catch the sunrise. I could have seen it a thousand times, and still, nothing would have ever compared to him; no amount of wealth or glory could even come close to making me feel as elated as he did. Techno was, without a doubt in my mind, my soulmate. The universe decided that for us; the sun and the moon and every star in the sky chose to bind us together, and what reason did I have to refuse it?

My heart ached, jumping as the click of the trigger sounded. There was a bright flash, a pop, an explosion of color and sound—

Then nothing at all.

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e-milieeee · 4 years

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the enemy of my enemy (must be my ally)

Summary: When one of his akumas attacks Adrien and one of his classmates, Gabriel Agreste discovers that Marinette Dupain-Cheng would prove a very useful ally against Ladybug and Chat Noir.

How had he not discovered sooner? But oh well—better late than never. Ladybug will never know what’s coming.

Notes: from this post because everyone wanted me to write it. i warned y’all. feat. gabriel’s 2 functional brain cells.

AO3 | Kofi

Gabriel Agreste isn’t past admitting his mistakes.

Most of them have involved Adrien, so he supposes that it’s time to pay attention to the trend. And all of those mistakes have involved his growing career as Hawkmoth—and, more specifically, the choices he makes for whom he akumatizes.

Lila Rossi, now known as Princess Perfect—seriously, what the hell was wrong with this girl? He’d given her the liberty of choosing her akuma name, but such a godawful name is a bad reflection on him as well—kicks down the door of the classroom.

He sees it all through Lila’s eyes, like he does with all the akumas. Doesn’t mean he’s particularly happy about the turnout of this particular akumatization.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel demands to her. “I want Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous! You’re going the wrong way.”

Relax. Lila’s voice drifts into his head. I need to take a little detour.

“What detour—” Oh. Oh, shit.

In the classroom, packing their bags, is his son and that Chinese girl with pigtails—Marinette. The one that Gabriel knows Lila Rossi intensely hates. The one that he doesn’t like either, because for some reason, his son is infatuated with her. It’s Marinette-this, Marinette-that these days, and Adrien just won’t stop gushing about her. Father, look at these designs! They’re Marinette’s. Father, look who’s on the news—it’s Marinette! Father, can you hire Marinette to work at Gabriel Brand?

Marinette, a real headache. Gabriel rubs his temples. Maybe it’s a good thing that Lila’s after her. Better to nip it in the bud before Adrien’s attachment becomes a real problem.

“Fine,” he grounds out to Lila. “But leave Ad—leave the blonde boy alone.”

Already ahead of you, Hawkie.

“Don’t call me that!”

She ignores him in favour of turning to the two victims. Adrien is standing in front of Marinette, arms spread in a protective stance, glaring at the akuma. For a couple moments, nobody speaks.

Then, Marinette, eyebrows furrowing, says, “You’re Lila, aren’t you. Seriously? What is this—your third akumatization? Fourth?”

“My name is Princess Perfect now,” Lila growls back. “Get out of my way, Adrien.”

Marinette literally gags. “Did Hawkmoth choose that name for you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Gabriel seethes. Unfortunately, none of them can hear him.

“Yes, he did,” Lila lies breezily. “But that’s not important. You think you’re such a hot shot, Marinette? You think you can take the spotlight from me without repercussions? I’m going to make sure everyone hates you and loves me, and you’ll learn your lesson for trying to cross me. After all, who can say no to Princess Perfect?”

Gabriel sighs through his nose. Are all teens this dramatic?

Apparently, they are. Betrayal comes from those closest to home, because it’s Adrien that holds up his arms even higher, still staring Lila down. “You’re going to have to go through me if you want to hurt her,” he promises. “Marinette, get out of here! Run!”

Oh, for heaven’s sake—

Two things happen at once. Lila darts towards them, her whip lashing out directly at Adrien. Gabriel swears under his breath—why isn’t Adrien moving out of the way? Why is he so intent on protecting that useless girl? “Lila!” he barks through the bond, but the akumatized girl is too far gone. “Touch him and I’ll make sure—”

Gabriel trails into dumbfounded silence when Marinette shoves Adrien aside, grabs the end of Lila’s whip, and tugs the weapon straight out of the girl’s hands.

“You’ve gone too far,” she growls in a tone so chilly that it even reaches him. “Adrien, get out of here! I can handle her.”

Lila’s own shock lasts for a couple of times before she regains some of her composure. “You?” she sneers. “Handle me? Why, you pathetic—”

Adrien chucks a pencil case at Lila. It hits her cheek, and she whirls on him, enraged. At the same time, Marinette darts away from the window and slides behind the large wooden desk at the front. Gabriel, still watching the scene unfold, scoffs. So for all her big talk, she’s still nothing but a coward.

“Stand down,” he commands Lila once more. “Don’t you dare touch Adrien—what the hell?”

Lila seems to have noticed the source of his bewilderment as well, but it’s far too late. From underneath the desk, Marinette has lifted the thing—the giant, wooden desk—onto her shoulders.

Gabriel’s positive he stops breathing.

“Wait—” Lila begins. He sees it all through her eyes: Marinette braces herself for a moment and then throws it—throws the desk that a grown man shouldn’t be able to lift—right at Lila.

She doesn’t stand a chance. Lila goes down in a crash, pinned under the weight of Ms. Bustier’s desk that this small, petite girl had somehow bench-pressed and then chucked.

As much as Lila struggles, she is unable to remove the desk from on top of her. Given that his akumas have enhanced strength and she’s still incapable of lifting it, just how strong is Marinette?

Said girl in question stalks over to Lila. She plants a foot firmly against the overturned side of the desk and looks down at the girl trapped underneath.

Gabriel is certain that somehow, impossible as it sounds, Marinette is staring right through Lila’s eyes, through their connection, and into his own. His body freezes. His jaw locks. And for the first time in a very, very long time, Gabriel Agreste is absolutely terrified.

“Next time you try something like this,” Marinette growls, leaning in, “I won’t let you off so easily.”

With that ominous note, she snatches the necklace off Lila’s neck and marches right out of the classroom.

Gabriel remains frozen for a couple more moments. He isn’t certain if he still remembers how to breathe.

It wasn’t Ladybug nor Chat Noir that had foiled this plan. No, it was Adrien Agreste’s classmate, a girl who had previously annoyed him, that had single handedly defeated an akuma and scared him absolutely shitless.

What. The. Fuck.

***

“Adrien,” Gabriel says over dinner. “You know that girl you always talk about? Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

His son looks up from his meal with a bright look on his face. Once upon a time, Gabriel would’ve been annoyed. Now, after reevaluating the girl, he comes to the conclusion that it’s best Adrien stays on Marinette’s good side. She’s probably more than capable of beating his son up.

“Yeah, Marinette?” Adrien echoes. “You know how there was an akuma attack today? Well, Marinette was actually there in the classroom with me when the akuma came for us.”

Gabriel is forced to play ignorant. “Oh? What happened?”

“Well, the akuma tried to attack us, and Marinette picked up a desk—you might find it hard to believe, and honestly I would’ve too if I hadn’t seen her do it—and threw it at the akuma. When Ladybug and Chat Noir finally showed up, there wasn’t even anything for them to do.”

Gabriel shifts in his seat. “That is… rather unbelievable."

Except he swears he can still feel the heat of Marinette’s glare, and is forced to accept that this is the reality he’s living in.

“Why did you ask about her, though, father?”

He snaps back into the present. “Huh?”

“Marinette—why did you ask about her? Wait, father, are you reconsidering hiring her? Did you finally look at the designs I sent you? This is amazing. I’m sure she’ll do amazing. Your stocks will rise. You’ll get more customers. Marinette’s basically a walking lucky charm—this will be the best decision you’ve ever made, father. I promise.”

He frowns at Adrien. “Don’t make preposterous suggestions. But yes— I am considering giving Marinette Dupain-Cheng a job at the company, perhaps an internship one of the senior designers. She’s very… talented.”

He thinks of the way she’d lifted the desk and flung it at Lila. Talented, indeed.

Perhaps talented enough to finally give him an edge against Ladybug and Chat Noir.

***

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is more than eager to come in for a so-called interview. Nathalie has done her digging on the girl: she’s made it pretty big quite a couple times already, in the fashion industry and has quite a few connections. Even if Gabriel’s motivations aren’t technically for the company, he has to admit that she has much future potential to tap into in the future. But for now, that’s not his goal.

She’s impeccably dressed when Nathalie leads her inside his study. Her eyes are positively shining when she beams at Gabriel. “Mr. Agreste!” Marinette chirps. “I’m so happy to be here. When Adrien told me you wanted to interview me for the job…this is such an amazing opportunity to be presented with, and I am so honoured.”

Gabriel exchanges a glance with Nathalie. She nods subtly.

“It’s my pleasure to meet you, Ms. Dupain-Cheng.” He rises from his desk and holds out his hand for her to shake. She does so.

It takes all of Gabriel’s self-control not to show the pain on his face when she grips his hand.

How the fuck is this girl so strong?

Thankfully, Marinette doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong. Gabriel draws back his hand and tucks it behind his back. It’s throbbing.

“So, Marinette.” He sits back down at his desk. Marinette is practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. If she were any normal person, Gabriel might’ve snapped at her to settle down, but after that show with Lila yesterday, he decides that it’s for his own good not to get on her bad side. He’ll just have to channel all his patience—for self-preservation, really. “I understand that you’re interested in interning at my company?”

She nods excitedly. “I’ve been designing for years, Mr. Agreste—I’m aware that I have a lot to improve on—”

“What I have in mind for you—” Gabriel pauses, realizing that he’d interrupted her. Hurriedly, he gulps. “Never mind. Continue.”

“I’m aware that I have a lot to improve on but I’m a very quick learner! I promise I’ll do my very best to help you and your company.”

He nods. “That’s good to hear. For now, I’ll… I’ll arrange with Nathalie what we can assign you to do in the company. And I have another favour to ask of you, if it’s not too much.”

Marinette smiles. “Whatever it is, I’ll do my best to help you!”

Nathalie had warned him to be careful with Marinette—one wrong move and he could be ousted as Hawkmoth. He takes a deep breath. “I have become aware that there are some bad influences around my son in school. You are friends with Adrien, yes?”

“Yes, and… bad influences?” Marinette frowns, shifting her weight. “Oh, yeah, there’s one in particular. Actually, I’m not sure if you’re aware, Mr. Agreste, but I’m glad you brought it up. You know that akuma yesterday? That girl’s name was Lila Rossi. She’s been hanging around Adrien quite a bit these days, and ‘bad influence’ barely covers what she does. And—oh! When I confronted her once about making Adrien uncomfortable, she told me she had a ‘friend in a high place’ that was backing her up. I think you might want to look into that too, Mr. Agreste. It was pretty worrisome, to be honest.”

Gabriel’s mouth has gone dry. “I… yes. Yes, I shall look into that too.”

Marinette rolls her shoulders. “God, if I knew who they were, I’d throw them into the Seine. How dare they.” Then her eyes widen. “Sorry, Mr. Agreste! I was just… um, I was just talking to myself. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s perfectly alright,” Gabriel reassures immediately, although it doesn’t do much to ease the chill that is travelling up his spine. “Then it’s decided? Nathalie will give you her contact information—you can send her your resume just for formalities, and she will organize the rest. And… be sure to keep an eye on my son at school.”

“I will!” Marinette chirps, ever so chipper. Behind that attitude lies the strength to lift the desk he’s currently sitting and crush him. And much, much more.

Nathalie guides the girl away. Gabriel is unable to breathe fully until she leaves.

He has to calculate this well, because he can’t afford to lose a potential ally like Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He’s already thinking—perhaps she would do well with the Peacock Miraculous, or the Bee Miraculous, if he can get his hands on it again. If—if he can somehow convince Marinette to help him with his cause, all of his other plans don’t even need to go into action. Ladybug and Chat Noir will never see this coming.

Nathalie returns. “Sir, your face is rather pale,” she notes. “But may I ask what that was about? You were… unusually lenient today.”

Gabriel clears his throat and straightens in his seat. “Never mind me,” he dismisses. “But first, I need to contact Lila Rossi as soon as possible to cut off all ties. Let her know she’s fired.”

“Is this because…?”

He allows himself a small smile. “You’ll see soon, Nathalie,” he reassures. “We’ve finally got the upperhand in this fight.”

Notes: i lost brain cells writing it, and i’m sure y’all have lost brain cells reading it.

Fics masterlist here!

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #bamf marinette #gabriel is TERRIFIED of marinette #as he should be #crack #humour #yall asked for this its not my fault #ml #mlb fic #my writing #that being said if you tag this gabrinette i will hunt you down

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Risk”

Welcome back, everyone! I have a lot of mixed, complicated feelings about today's episode and I'm already sure this recap will miss a great deal that should be said. There's a lot to digest, we need some time to do that, so until things have settled I think that the one, entirely confident claim I can make here is that our writers weren't BSing the fandom on twitter. The last few days have seen a number of big claims made regarding "Risk" —

— and whatever else we might have to say about the episode, it certainly delivered in terms of shocking content. From confessions to reveals to a new plan in place, there's a lot to unpack.

So let's get started.

Our first shot is a problem.

I don't want it to be! But I've got to work with what I've got. We open on Salem's flying monkeys — or gorillas, if we're being technical — and my immediate thought is where in the world they came from. I mean, obviously I know where. We ended Volume 6 with the post-credit scene of Salem adding wings to an army of Beringels, Hazel commenting that she'll lead the invasion herself. When Salem arrived at the end of Volume 7 and we picked up where we'd left off in Volume 8, the fandom was obviously expecting an attack led primarily by flying, transformed grimm. That didn't happen. For ten episodes the plot forgot that the Beringels existed, focusing instead of the Hound, the grimm soup, then the Whale, then the ground grimm the Whale was producing. Months back I encountered a number of posts asking, "What happened to the resource we know Salem brought to this fight?" and those questions are partly what inspired the "Introducing new grimm that are then quickly abandoned" spot on the bingo board. Now, suddenly, the Beringels have re-appeared and that is a good thing. Though it's too little, too late, as is so often the case with RWBY. Getting something you expect has a sour taste when it arrives months past when it was needed, especially when that something only exists for a second on screen.

This is doubly true given that we saw Oscar eliminate the grimm last episode.

At least, I thought he had? Pretty much everyone I've spoken to thought he had. This last week's discussions have centered around RWBY nerfing the stakes, taking out a whole army of grimm in one, magical blast. That's far from great. Yet now we see that we were apparently wrong. Atlas remains overrun with grimm, this problem remains a problem... so, yay? But we're once left with a tradeoff. RWBY has no longer eliminated the stakes with a deus ex machina as we had originally thought, but in its place we're left with a badly executed scene last episode and an assumed problem that is "fixed" with an enemy we should have been dealing with since the start of the volume. The road to the Beringels has been messy indeed and all they've done so far is fly across the screen.

Which reminds me: if this army of grimm still exists — and absolutely existed prior to Oscar's blast — how come not a single one is attacking the Schnee manor? This opening is in Atlas, the skies are overrun, we've seen a few grimm show up to help out the Hound, yet miraculously nothing bothers the group while they freak out at the dining table, or freak out as Penny tries to leave. That's a whole lot of grimm and a whole lot of negativity... yet somehow these two things never meet in a way that would inconvenience our characters. While from a writing standpoint I can understand not wanting to interrupt all these conversations and feel good moments, the show can't simply ignore the rules of its world whenever it's convenient. If anything, given that Atlas' population is currently hidden beneath the city, Schnee manor should be even more of a hot-spot than it normally would be. There is one (1) group of people out in the open for them to target.

Yeah, we're a single shot into this episode. It's a doozy.

Moving right along, those Atlas citizens (and, let's not forget, a large number of Mantle evacuees too) are still huddled in the tunnels, listening to Ironwood's insane broadcast. They're obviously terrified, as are those down in Mantle who are staring execution in the face. Fiona bursts into tears.

It makes me wonder why we didn't get the airship subplot now. As I've mentioned extensively in the past, that decision didn't make much sense and I think the writers knew it didn't make much sense because they chose not to reveal what Ruby and co. planned to do with the citizens once they were on board. The point was never to come up with a feasible plan, something the audience would put to the test, but rather to just make it seem like the group was doing something Smart and Heroic before Ironwood inevitably derailed it. Don't look too closely at the man behind the curtain. Normally, I'd comment that yes, it's damn hard to come up with a brilliant plan to save others in a situation like this — our characters can only be as smart as our authors! — yet that sympathy dissipates when we hit this episode and are given a scenario where airships would have been great. Ironwood has threatened to nuke Mantle. Suddenly, it is imperative that the civilians leave the safety of the crater as soon as possible (whereas before it was not). So Whitley remembers that they have access to these ships and the group hatches a plan to sneak them down while Ironwood is distracted, get everyone up into Atlas so he can't use Mantle as a bargaining chip anymore. Then they're spotted, the plan revealed, and Ironwood shoots their ships down, leaving them devastated that their attempt to help the citizens has literally gone up in flames. We're still left with the problem of why Ironwood wouldn't just allow a continued evacuation now that Salem is briefly out of the mix and the Schnees have provided extra resources — the writing really took a sledgehammer to his characterization — but the group trying to get people to Atlas to avoid death by bomb at least makes more sense than them trying to move the citizens to an undisclosed location, for unestablished reasons, when they were already relatively safe. The bomb is what makes those airships a necessity.

It really makes me wonder how much editing goes on and how much time the writers have before they finalize scripts.

Regardless, we cut from terrified people to Ironwood himself, accompanied by Winter. The animation has some nice parallels going on here, what with the same black, white, and blue color scheme, hands behind their backs, the need for robotic accommodations, and steps perfectly in synch. As we're about to see though, Winter is very good at looking the part of a loyal soldier while actually bending the rules.

However, are we really going to ignore that she betrayed Ironwood last episode? Betrayal from his perspective, that is. Winter was given a direct order, disobeyed that order, pissed off Harriet in the process, and wasn't able to give a good explanation for her actions — she was too busy being creeped out by Ironwood's reaction. For all intents and purposes she should be considered disloyal right now. Or at least under suspicion, yet Ironwood acts as if everything is fine. We've skipped over any meaningful fallout between them, or a reason why Ironwood would dismiss her betrayal. This ties into something I'll bring up later in the episode: namely, that RWBY introduces too much too quickly and doesn't have time to satisfyingly tackle — or tackle at all — the plot points they've introduced, simply because there's always a new one to focus on. We dropped the "Winter went against Ironwood at great personal risk" plotline to make room for the new "Ironwood has randomly threatened Mantle" plotline, which likewise doesn't do Ironwood's characterization any favors. I don't just mean the obvious "Omg he's willing to murder a whole city now" issue. Ironwood used to be smart, yet his unfounded trust in others makes him look foolish now: first trusting Watts, now Winter. Alongside that, the story and fandom have both pushed the idea that Ironwood is paranoid, yet that "paranoia" has only ever been attached to justified threats. If he were actually paranoid then Winter's actions would have caused him to mistrust all of the Ace Ops now, labeling everyone near him a disloyal enemy, despite evidence to the contrary (especially when it comes to Harriet). Yet across two volumes Ironwood has continually been "paranoid" only in regards to things like Cinder and Salem — proven threats — while simultaneously trusting known villains and ignoring when his subordinates straight up say, "She let our enemies go free." There’s little rhyme or reason to any of his decisions here.

Still! A nice, meaningful shot lol.

As Ironwood and Winter get closer we see the Ace Ops discussing the threat. "Of course he's not going to do it," to which Marrow pushes back with, "So what? He's bluffing with a whole city?" This is a really, really important moment that I don't think the writers realize is important. See, everyone is shocked when Ironwood reveals that he intends to go through with the threat. The Ace Ops, Winter, Robyn, our heroes... everyone grapples with the idea that this is actually happening. Everyone has some moment of, "It's just a bluff, yeah?" and I don't think that's just denial. The characters' shock tells us that Ironwood normally wouldn't be a man who'd do something like this. Ever. That shock has to stem from something, such as an ingrained understanding that Ironwood is a protector, not a murderer. Note the difference between the fandom and the characters' reactions. Whereas a good chunk of the fandom went, "Of course Ironwood means it. We all saw this coming! Remember how he..." and then proceed to list various things — persuasive or otherwise — that prove he was always a bad guy in the making. Yet no one in the RWBY world is inclined to use those moments as evidence. Winter doesn't go, "He's not bluffing. I saw him shoot the councilman just for speaking up" and the Ace Ops don't go, "Oh, he'll do it. This is the man who destroyed his arm to take down Watts. He'll stop at nothing." After everything they've seen — the same things we've seen — there's still some instinctual, nebulous knowledge that goes, "No. Ironwood wouldn't. He's one of the good guys." We can certainly talk about real life people getting swept up in horrible institutions, unwilling to admit how bad things actually are until they hit a specific line they can't cross... but I think this is less a comment on some sort of bystander effect (RWBY isn't that deliberately nuanced lol) and more an unintentional acknowledgement that until the very sudden and entirely unexpected shooting of Oscar, Ironwood actually wouldn't have done this. The Ace Ops are reacting to a man who absolutely existed until the writing erased him and they believe the core of that man still exists. To my mind, he should, but because our show can't actually have Salem as the main villain right now, she's conveniently blown up and Ironwood takes her place.

So we've got some loaded implications there, as well as Vine's comment that he hopes "the kids" see sense now. I am begging RWBY to pick a lane already. Are they kids, or are they adults? Because that answer makes a big difference and we can't continue to have it both ways.

Ironwood and Winter arrive were Ironwood orders that she prep drones with the "payload." That's the moment Winter and the others realize he's serious. Cue that shock all around. The revelation is the last straw for Marrow, prompting him to start yelling some excellent points about how Ironwood is doing Salem's job for her. See, this accusation works. Telling a guy threatening to blow up a city that he's as bad as their villain is accurate. Having Oscar tell that same guy that he's as bad as their villain because he wants to save a city full of people... is ridiculous. Totally different setup here and RWBY got it right this time. The only line that didn't work for me was Marrow asking the Ace Ops if they believe in anything. Uh... yeah. They believe in saving Atlas + all the Mantle evacuees they got. That's pretty well established. I swear, most RWBY speeches are padded with generic, heroic-sounding lines that don't actually mean anything, or are outright falsehoods we’re meant to ignore.

We'll see more of that with renora.

Marrow attempts to leave and his eyes go wide as he hears the click of Ironwood's gun. Remember I said that Winter is good at playing the obedient soldier? It's after Ironwood aims that she tackles Marrow.

On the surface it looks only like she violently disarmed him, but in reality she got him out of the bullet's path and kept Ironwood from firing at all. She saved his life, choosing to play up how she'll “take this traitor to the brig” where he belongs, rather than watching him die. A really nice moment in terms of strategy and one of the few lately where I've actually felt like I'm watching smart characters.

However, I cannot deny the uncomfortable implications in this scene. Smart or not, necessary or not, it hasn't escaped anyone's notice that one of our darkest characters was a) nearly killed by a white man and b) beat up by a white woman. To say nothing of Marrow's status as a faunus. I was cringing during his line about loyalty: “I used to wear this rank with pride. Now I see it for what it really is: a collar."

Honestly, I don't have the qualifications to unpack all that, so let's just acknowledge that the scene, while good in some respects, was massively insulting in others. I’ll let others in the fandom defend or damn it as they see fit.

We get a shot of how shocked the Ace Ops are that they nearly watched their team member get executed for speaking up against a bomb threat. It once again highlight's RWBY's strange depiction of violence and when it's deemed appropriate. Harriet has threatened people a couple of times now — here telling Marrow she'll shut him up herself — yet her reaction tells us that she never would have killed him as Ironwood nearly did. Threats, then, mean little... unless Ironwood is making an exaggerated comment about shooting Qrow. Then it's evidence of evil intent that's bound to come to the surface eventually. So does that mean Harriet will be trying to bomb cities herself someday? If so, it once again leaves our heroes in an awkward position, considering that Ruby started the fight Harriet wouldn't, Weiss stuck her weapon in Whitley's face, etc. If it says something awful that Winter would punch a minority — even to save his life — what does it say about Qrow that he would punch a child in anger? Outside of the easy to label actions like Ironwood's bomb threat and shootings, there exists this gray space that asks, “When are you justified to use violence? When is a threat forgivable?” The problem is, the show keeps coming up with contradictory answers. I bring this up not because Winter's punch or Harriet's threat are the most significant examples of this that we've seen, but because the themes of forgiveness and violence take center stage at the episode's end... and RWBY completely drops the ball. Keep these complications in mind.

Before that though, the group is crowded into the dining room and no matter what else "Risk" might give us, I'm reminded that I really like the design of the Schnee manor. I'm glad the episode found an excuse to show us this room again.

My initial thought upon entering the scene was, "Are we going to talk about Penny's hack? The silver-eyed grimm? Ozpin's return?" and to RWBY's credit it touches on all of these, though I stand by my point about plotlines coming too quickly. Any one of these should have been given the space to grow, not fighting for space against the potential destruction of Mantle. If you don't acknowledge these things in "Risk" you've lost your chance (much like how "Oscar is kidnapped" replaced "Oscar has to deal with Ozpin's return," resulting in a scene where Oscar was just... randomly okay with Ozpin again. We lost the chance to deal with the first conflict introduced because we barreled into the second), yet if you do spend episode time on these issues, it feels like the characters aren't dealing with the immediate threat. Questions of silver eyes, what to do about Penny, and Ozpin's return needed to be given their due before there was an hour time limit resulting in thousands of deaths. Now, you have to wonder why Yang and Ruby are talking about their mother when a city's safety is ticking away. Where were these questions and reassurances years ago?

I think this is why this episode — maybe even this whole volume — simultaneously feels too full and too boring. We're being introduced to lots of Big Things, but then putting them off to focus on other, smaller stuff, and by the time we circle back around it's no longer the right time. We're constantly focusing on the least interesting, least important thing in the room. Why is the group sitting around with their tea when we could have moved the Hound plotline up and started this groundwork earlier? Which means we're doing that work now instead of worrying about Mantle or Penny. All of which is connected to Salem herself being here, yet Ironwood is our villain instead... We're just introducing new idea after new idea, dropping each to focus on something else when the viewer is already emotionally invested in the last conflict. It makes the show feel overly packed with problems we don't have time for while simultaneously having too much time in which the characters do nothing of importance. We're never dealing with these issues at the right time. Talking about a silver-eyed grimm while Salem is here feels like Too Much and having the girls unpack that now, with Mantle’s life on the line, feels like Too Little. Stop sitting around while you've got less than an hour to save half a kingdom! We needed this conversation in a different episode, one not already driven by a problem that’s objectively more important.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We're in the dining room and the group is listing all the stuff that has gone wrong lately. Blake mentions that Qrow and Robyn are still in custody, because we definitely want Blake remembering that Qrow exists, not one of his nieces. Ruby, meanwhile, is having a meltdown. "So then it's impossible!" she yells, head in her hands.

Emerald sneaks in an insult: “See? If Ms. Hero here with all the answers doesn’t have one..." and the others, of course, jump to Ruby's aid. But Emerald is right! It's entirely Ruby's fault that Atlas didn't get the chance to escape with those they had. Her actions and lack of a plan led to where they are now. I'm not saying she's responsible for Ironwood's insane decisions — that's like saying he's responsible for Qrow's in relation to Clover — but Ruby indeed played the part of the hero who had all the answers... without actually having any answers. Now that things are worse than how they started, her only answer is to say it's all "impossible" and throw up her hands. Ruby is an absolutely terrible leader right now and someone should indeed be calling her out on that, it's just too bad it's Emerald, someone technically still presented as an untrustworthy figure for the next couple of minutes. (More on that later.) Any and every criticism of Ruby is dismissed out of hand. Don't believe Ironwood because he's crazy now. The Ace Ops? His boot lickers. Yang has things to say, but once Ren agrees with her she does a 180. Now Ren is heading towards an extra special apology for daring to doubt Ruby. May calls her out, only to also change her opinion the next episode. Now here's one more person, but she's a bad guy. The show has never once encouraged us to treat these criticisms seriously — never allowed them to stick, let alone lead to change — and at this point I'm done with everyone falling over themselves to absolve and praise Ruby. By making Emerald the criticizer and having Ruby throw herself a pity party, the writing ensures that the conversation goes from, "Yeah. You messed up big time and now have a responsibility to fix things" to "Aww, don't be so hard on yourself! We won't let mean Emerald insult you anymore."

Ruby makes herself the victim here. She gets so upset and acts so defeated that all anyone can do is reassure her. The focus turns towards her, a focus centered around hiding against the table, or cowering on a staircase, so that it feels cruel to call her out on her deadly mistakes when she's so clearly upset. But they still should have, especially since cowering and tears have never protected anyone else from the group's criticism. Ozpin is proof of that.

What I'm getting at is that Ruby runs away. She's faced with the consequences of her actions, is informed she needs to help come up with a solution, and instead of braving that decides it's "impossible" and literally runs from the room. While they're on a time limit. Keep this moment in mind for just a bit longer. These choices become doubly important later.

So Ruby can't handle the responsibility she violently ripped from others and the group goes out of their way to comfort her in this. Especially since the writing again decides to conflate Emerald and Ozpin through a comment of Oscar's, demonstrating that it still has no decent sense of what "responsibility" or "villainous acts" means. These scenes are three years in the making and every step getting here was dogged with problems, so the fact that the end result is a mess isn't exactly surprising.

We (thankfully) leave Ruby for a bit and instead turn to Jaune. He's amplifying Nora's aura, but admits that he can't get the scars to go away. That makes sense. After all, they're scars. His semblance helps people heal, but at this point Nora has already healed. Those scars are the result of that.

She says it was “Just another ditzy move from Nora” and I'm glad we're acknowledging that, even if it is all framed through the lens of Nora being incorrect in that assumption. Once again, the writing continually makes statements about characters, but fails to have their actions reflect that. Nora wanted to do more than just hit things with her hammer without thinking them through... and we showed that by having her hit a door with her hammer without thinking it through. Was it heroic? Absolutely. Did it lead to any growth? No. I'd much rather someone acknowledge that yeah, she did the same thing she always does, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Nora's impulsivity is a part of her and, given the talk of teammates here, she could have gotten reassurance that she'll always have people around to help her temper those impulses. Instead, we're (again) told that she shouldn't do A anymore, watch her do A anyway, the writing presents it like it’s B, Nora admits that she did A, and everyone rushes to assure her it was actually B. Just let these characters make mistakes for once, especially mistakes made in an effort to help someone. This should be the easiest and kindest way to criticize the group and RWBY can’t even manage that.

Which brings us to Ren. Ren, I am so sorry. You deserved better than this. Nora rips into him, saying, “We were supposed to be a team, but that didn’t matter to you! You shove people out so you don’t have to feel things that are hard!" and again we have RWBY making grand statements that are meaningless. Did Ren keep things bottled up in Volume 7? Yes... and no one tried to help him with that. Instead, Nora decided to bypass his problems completely and try to kiss it better. When that (shockingly) didn't work, Ren was finally forced to open up at Yang's insistence and was abandoned for his perspective. That's what that was, literally and metaphorically: they walked away from him and made it clear that so long as he believes these things, he's not welcome. What were those things? We've made mistakes, Ruby made mistakes, we're not ready for this stuff. That's it! "We were supposed to be a team" makes it sound like Ren betrayed them in the worst possible way, when in reality all he did was acknowledge that they're imperfect and that things are a mess right now. But of course, that is the ultimate betrayal for this group: acknowledgement that they’re not perfect. Everyone can call themselves out to generate sympathy — Nora does it, Ruby does it — but as soon as someone else agrees and implies that they should make changes, they’re dismissed.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the refusal to question Ruby makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Is this as bad as Ironwood shooting someone who questions him? Of course not, but that doesn't make it good. The group has made it clear from Ozpin to Ren that if you put a toe out of line, that's it. You're gone. You are not a part of the group until you are willing to back the group 100%, no matter what horrible things they might be up to. That Nora yells at Ren for questioning and Ren learns to keep his mouth shut, apologizing to both her and Jaune for speaking his mind is... well, it's horrible. That's not friendship. I know the fandom doesn't want to hear that given how much we otherwise love these relationships, but it's not. If you can't question and voice concerns without about serious topics like this without the threat of abandonment — literal or otherwise — then that's not a friend group you should be sticking with. Ren’s "biggest failing as a teammate and a partner" is that he didn't agree with the others and didn’t immediately change his mind when they demanded it. There are awful implications attached to that, especially since Ren’s perspective was a good one. He’s not out here slinging horrific views like, I don’t know, homophobia at the bee’s non-relationship. He just went “We made mistakes” and the group responded “Absolutely not. Absurd. Fuck you.” They didn’t even consider that position, which speaks to both a lack of respect for Ren and a level of arrogance that keeps getting them into trouble. But these issues are easily overlooked given everything else that surrounds them. Outside of Ren's apology, I quite liked the renora moment. We got a detail about Nora's backstory! She called Ren pretty! We got an "I love you"! He booped her nose!! It's all very cute and wholesome... and soured by the knowledge of what Ren had to do to get here.

Outside of these generalized responses, there are three other points I wanted to make about this scene:

Yes, more obligatory humor to ruin an otherwise serious moment. Jaune could have just smiled softly and slipped out. Or have him leave before the conversation started (because Ren shouldn't have been apologizing to him in the first place...) Instead, we got multiple seconds of him being awkward, including a bunch of funny sound effects.

I'm legitimately happy we got that "I love you" — outside of the problems since arriving in Atlas, I've always enjoyed the ship — but coming on the heels of last week's episode, it makes the bee's forehead touch look even worse. Renora has been confirmed multiple times at this point, but we still can't get something overt for our one, queer ship.

On the one hand, I really like that Nora set a boundary here — a surprisingly mature conversation for RWBY — but I'm confused as to what exactly the boundary is. She says she needs to figure out who she is without Ren, but what does that translate to on a practical, day-to-day basis? Normally, when a couple needs to figure out who they are they separate, but renora can't do that. They're still on the same team, stuck in the same war, presumably off to do the same things they've always done together. It sounds great on paper to say that Nora is going to discover who she is without Ren, but unless they separate again I don't see how that can happen. More likely, we'll get a volume or two of them looking and acting exactly as they always have, but when it comes time for relationship drama again, Nora will insist she's a different person who is now ready to be with him. That she's changed. But change requires, you know, making a change, so is renora actually going to look any different moving forward?

While these two confess their love but also decide to be separate (is that what happened?), Qrow and Robyn have knocked out some guards and retrieved their weapons. Robyn watches four security feeds, whispering, "He's... really gonna do it." See? Even Robyn, someone who never liked Ironwood and considered him dangerous from the start, is in shock that he would go this far. Qrow doesn't want to talk moral downfalls though, he's all action: "Not if we stop him first."

You know, at least Qrow is doing something. What he's doing is stupid, particularly given his motivations, but with the volume we've had I give him props for coming up with a plan and sticking to it. That's more than many of the others have done.

Yet then, suddenly, Robyn doesn't want to kill Ironwood. ...Since when? Robyn has been the most trigger happy of the lot while Qrow initially wanted to talk. Now they've switched places for no reason I can see, with Qrow all murder happy and Robyn cautioning restraint. Which admittedly isn't uncommon. Remember how Nora was all about protecting Mantle and then randomly decided to help with Amity instead? Remember how Yang was critical of Ruby and then decided to defend her to Ren? Remember how Hazel was pro-Salem until he saw a blue naked lady and decided to defect? At this point, characters just do things at random.

Robyn says that Qrow isn't trying to kill Ironwood because that's the right thing to do, only because he wants revenge. A true enough assessment. But then she follows it up by claiming that Qrow is a better huntsmen than Clover because he does the right thing. Without rehashing all my arguments regarding how Clover was not the devil incarnate for refusing to let two potential criminals walk free — especially after they attacked him — we're really playing the dead guy card now? Clover was murdered. Robyn and Qrow were participants in that murder. Now Robyn is making sweeping claims about who is the better person when Clover quite obviously isn't here to defend himself? That's all kinds of messed up.

Before they can bash the dead guy anymore though the elevator arrives. We see Qrow and Robyn's shocked expressions at whoever is behind the doors, presumably Winter and Marrow. It seems likely that Winter didn't really intend to take him to the brig. They're defecting and have now found two more allies to help them. Robyn wants a plan other than run upstairs and stab Ironwood? Winter will likely provide one.

We return to Ruby who, as established, is wallowing in the most dramatic position on the staircase. Obviously things are legitimately horrible right now and if Ruby had been given a storyline different from what we've seen since Volume 6, I'd feel sorry for her. As it stands, it's just frustrating to watch her look like the maiden of a Victorian novel while Mantle's time ticks away.

The conversation between her and Yang is great though. At least, it is for the first few sentences. I love that the show remembered they're sisters and have them talking again. I love that Yang tries to cheer Ruby up by saying she outshines her big sis in regards to the Hound. I love that she nevertheless acknowledges that the Schnees were a part of that defeat, giving them their due rather than putting all the praise on Ruby. We establish that Yang has learned what the Hound really was. This conversation is going strong...

...but then.

"That's what happened to mom."

Really? Really? In eight episodes we went from, "Lol just because the Hound spoke doesn't mean Summer was secretly made into a grimm. That’s a crazy theory" to "Summer was absolutely turned into a grimm. That's canon now!" Except because it was made canon by Ruby just announcing it one day, we can expect for an even bigger "twist" in the future: Summer is still alive. Why wouldn't she be? The Hound was untouchable outside of silver eyes, so we have little reason to think anyone has defeated her in the last 14 odd years.

I'll admit the timeline works out better than expected (I think) with Salem killing SEWs during Maria's time before switching to experimentation, but there's no emotional weight to this. I just don't care and frankly I don't think the fandom cares either. Oh, there's plenty of excitement over the reveal, but that's all for the version of Summer Rose people have built up in their minds for the last eight years, not anything that exists in the show. If you strip away all the headcanons and fics, Summer isn't interesting because she barely exists. We know nothing about her as a person and therefore we have no reason to care that she's likely another Hound. Worse — because maybe this could be smoothed over if we just care since Ruby cares — everything else surrounding this reveal was badly done. Summer, as said, has been a non-character for this whole series. Yang only just remembered two episodes ago that Summer is her mom too. The only evidence of experimentation we've seen is on other grimm, not people. There was more mystery surrounding why Tyrian was interested in Jaune, not why he'd kidnap Ruby (Big Bads always want to kidnap heroes). We have no idea who this silver eyed faunus was. We have no idea why Salem would randomly start experimenting when she doesn't need additional weapons. We don't know why she would keep these weapons to the sidelines when she’s apparently had them for over a decade. I don't even buy that Ruby, someone who we never see thinking about or questioning any of this, suddenly put all these pieces together to hit on the revelation.

None of this adds up because it wasn't planned. Summer was dead, added to the series purely because having a dead mom is interesting, and she was treated as dead for seven years. Not just by the characters, by the show. Then, suddenly, the narrative raced to remind everyone that she's supposedly a Very Important Character so we could get this twist. It’s awful. Not because the idea itself is horrible, but because it was shoved into a story that wasn't prepared for it and certainly doesn't need it. The group has Salem herself attacking the kingdom, Ironwood threatening destruction, three Relics still to discover, not to mention all the other personal conflicts going on — Emerald walking around the mansion, Ozpin is back, Penny is being controlled, Oscar has finite magic now, Nora is still recovering — but we're going to introduce another subplot to deal with? RWBY acts like it's terrified that if it doesn't add something new and flashy every third episode, its viewers will jump ship. Despite its hiccups, there's a reason why the arcs of Volume 4 worked well overall: characters were given the time to explore specific problems, like Yang's PTSD and the destruction of Ren's village. Now, in episode 11 of 14, RWBY reveals that two of the characters' mom was turned into a literal monster, but there's only time for a tiny bit of comfort because Penny is escaping and they have less than an hour now to save Mantle. There is way too much going on and we're not devoting enough time to any of it.

Hell, even the conversation can't afford to stay on the Summer reveal for more than a few sentences. Ruby segues back to her self-chastisement, saying that she wasted time on Amity. She did, but not because people didn't come. She never should have made that terrifying, nonsensical announcement to begin with. But just like Ruby never thought through the pros and cons of telling the world about Salem, she apparently never thought about the logistics of getting help. She's written the world off now — so you just know help will appear in the finale — yet she never considered how long all this would take. Our timeline is (supposedly) two days, so how long would it take a kingdom to digest the information she gave them, decide on a course of action, get people and resources together, then fly all the way to Atlas? After Ruby used most of the first day just to send the message? As I and others have pointed out, the answer is “way longer than the group has.” It shouldn't be possible, yet neither Ruby nor Yang realizes basic facts like, "What's the flight time between Vacuo and Atlas?" Like Qrow blaming his semblance rather than his decision to team up with Tyrian, Ruby blames the world for abandoning them rather than her terribly thought out plan. Both have reached the right emotion — regret — but not for the right reasons.

Also, Ruby says that Amity fell. Are Pietro and Maria okay??

Yang talks about blind optimism vs. no optimism at all, something I could really get behind if the group hadn't been governed by blind optimism this whole time. Also if what the rest of what Yang said made sense. She fires back with, “And in case you didn’t notice, my plan for Mantle didn’t work either." Uh... what plan? As far as I recall there was no plan. They just went down to do any tasks that needed doing: supply runs and grimm killings. What plan is Yang talking about?

This conversation is a disaster. We circle back around to Summer with Yang saying she also took a risk (the title is very obvious this episode) but "she's still my hero." Is she? Because the only thing you've ever said about Summer is that she baked great cookies. Regardless, Yang lays her head on Ruby's shoulder and they cry some more.

Then Jaune hurries down the steps because Penny has woken up and broken through a window.

Again: how were they planning to deal with this? Did anyone discuss it? Because it looks like Klein said, "Hey, that friend of yours powered up and could have hurt us," Nora said, "Hey, Penny was fighting some sort of control," and Whitely said, "Yeah, she wanted to open the vault and then self destruct" and everyone just left her alone in some room, deciding they'd worry about that later. If Penny had just snuck out a little more quietly the group would have been screwed.

What I do like though is the teamwork to keep Penny from flying off. It feels like we get so little teamwork nowadays, which makes everyone piling on others' range weapons, or Jaune boosting Weiss' glyphs, really enjoyable. Even Emerald gets in on the action because apparently they gave her her weapons back!

We're going to talk about this nonsense in a second.

For now, Ruby implores Penny to fight it, which is exactly what I said we'd get. Penny insists Ruby kill her though, saying that if she does she'll ensure that the power passes to her. I find this to be a weird priority. Does the group really care about who gets the Maiden powers right now? The threat here is that Penny will successfully open the vault — which shouldn't even be that much of a worry. Just let Ironwood leave instead of trying to destroy Mantle! Keeping him here has made things worse! — and that Penny will self-destruct. That feels like the biggest worry: that Penny will die. So they're going to prevent her death by... killing her themselves? Priorities and motivations really feel shaky this week.

Luckily, Ruby remembers that Penny is A Real Person and tells Jaune to amplify her aura. The fact that she has a soul keeps the virus from overtaking her. Hurray!

That's like saying my sense of self will beat off rabies. Just believe that you're your own person and nothing can touch you. They go so far as to say, “That’s who you are. Our friend, not a machine” and that feels like such an erasure to me. Penny is a machine. She is! And that was great back when this was accepted as a good thing, not something to ignore. Remember this?

You think just because you've got nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts makes you any less real than me?

Here, Ruby acknowledges Penny's difference and reaffirms that she still has worth. Now, the group denies Penny's difference in order to prove that she has worth. She has worth because she's supposedly not a machine and supposedly can't be controlled like one... even though she is a machine and is being controlled. It's only Jaune's semblance that keeps her from going under again. The concept of Penny's personhood is now connected to her ability to resist a machine-based virus and she has failed to do that. This doesn't confirm Penny's humanity, it tells Penny (and us) that humanity is distinct from the machine parts of her, rather than a concept that includes it, and the moment she is too influenced by that machinery she ceases to be a person. The group isn't accepting her here, they're encouraging Penny to ignore and deny the parts that make her Penny.

If you want an example of how to do an arc like this far, far better, go watch The Next Generation with Data. He's what Penny could have been.

Regardless, the virus has been held at bay, at least so long as Jaune has aura. Which seems to be endless given that he was exhausting himself in the whale, but is now boosting Nora, Weiss, and Penny without any difficulty.

At least that's a minor concern in the grand scheme of things. What we're about to get? Not so much. Honestly, I'm 7k into this recap and I just don't have the energy that these two scenes deserve. Which scenes? The one where Emerald is welcomed into the fold with laughter and Ozpin has to grovel for forgiveness.

Emerald first. Last week I said:

“However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That’s it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the “right” thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang’s complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We’re supposed to just accept that she’s a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

and I was right. Over the course of the last week I spoke with a number of friends, many of them working under the belief that this was just the start of an arc for Emerald. Obviously the show wouldn't instantly have the group trust her after all this. They'll need to warm up to her first. She'll need to prove herself. Well, I was far more pessimistic, arguing instead that I thought this was it. She was already being presented as a perfectly trustworthy figure. I'd briefly thought I'd been mistaken when the group turned on Emerald for her comment to Ruby, but then suddenly she's been given her weapons back. It's not even a matter of "You should be able to defend yourself, but you're still not trustworthy" (which would still have problems, but). No, she makes a comment about "switching sides" and that's it, trust achieved. That's all it took — nothing at all.

Now, some shows do function on a second chance policy. We can name hundred of stories where heroes instantly forgive antagonists and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is that RWBY is very much not that show. In the exact same scene Ozpin apologizes to the group and begs that they try to trust him again:

“I’ve failed all of you. I should have trusted you with the truth and I should never have run the day you discovered it."

This is complete and utter bullshit. Sorry, I'm not mincing words for this one. Two years we waiting for the group to come around, hoping that there would be apologies on both sides, but there wasn't. The group doesn't physically or verbally hurt Ozpin anymore — they do accept his request — but it's done with expressions that say this is what they are owed. You’d better apologize.

I could rehash all the arguments I've already made about how atrociously they treated him, how Ozpin had no reason to trust a bunch of teenagers, how important it was that both sides admit their mistakes, but if you're reading this recap you're likely already familiar with all that. Rather, what I want to emphasize here is that our opinions on Ozpin don't even matter here. Even those who take his apology at face value — fully believing he did fail them, he should have told them everything from the start, and that him leaving was "running away" rather than being driven off — even if we accept for just a moment that Ozpin is as guilty as the show says and heinous as the fandom claims... surely he's not as bad as Emerald? In roughly chronological order she has:

Tried to ally herself with Adam along with Cinder and Mercury

Helped to attack Amber, resulting in injuries that would have killed her if Cinder hadn't gotten to her first

Helped kill Tukson

Pretended to be a transfer student and Ruby's friend for the rest of the semester (that’s a lie that would breed mistrust)

Tricked the world into thinking that Yang had attacked Mercury unprovoked

Uses her semblance on Pyrrha, causing her to unintentionally kill Penny

All of this was in service of the Fall of Beacon, an event that destroyed a school, killed an unknown number of students, killed Pyrrha, and lost Yang her arm

Participated in the attack on Haven which, beyond the intent to further Salem's goals, nearly got Weiss killed

Came to Atlas to assist in the next attack

Went after Penny, Pietro, and Maria — two of whom might still be in trouble depending on if Amity literally fell out of the sky

Listened to Oscar being tortured, hemming and hawing for a while before realizing that, if the whole world is in danger, she's in danger too

Finally jumped ship

Emerald is one of the bad guys. All the sad looks over the years doesn't change that. Yet somehow an antagonist we've had since Volume 1 is considered more trustworthy than Ozpin, a man who hasn't intentionally helped kill their friends and who has been helping and apologizing for months now.

Yang "Aww"s when Emerald speaks. Just sit with that for a second. The woman who went through all of that horror because of Emerald, who just last episode was correctly saying they can't expect her to forget all that, is going "Aww" after... Emerald helped hold Penny for two seconds? This is ridiculous. These are the faces of the group when talking about Emerald's trust

whereas these are their expressions when talking about Ozpin's

It’s not a matter of who deserves trust or not, here it’s purely a matter of comparison. Emerald should not be more quickly forgiven than Ozpin.

Now toss in the story Ozpin tells. Unsurprisingly, it's another fairy tale — we've gotten a little heavy-handed lately — about a young girl who flees the consequences of a choice and, having never learned from her initial failure, spreads even more trouble. That's Ruby. That is Ruby to a T in this episode and the last three volumes. She is literally a young girl who has caused staggering consequences, literally ran away from the conversation about those consequences, and is now poised to continue making those mistakes because everyone keeps reinforcing her flaws. That's Ruby, yet somehow the show thinks it's Ozpin. He positions himself as the young girl here, as if he didn't face his consequences generations ago when he left the cabin, didn't learn from his mistakes by keeping Salem's secret, and hadn't been driven away by the very people he's asking for a second chance. This scene has everything backwards and while normally I'd grab hold of the possibility that maybe things will right themselves later on... we're done. This is the ending of that arc. After two years of saying, "Maybe, maybe, maybe," Ozpin has been taken back into the fold after begging his way back in. There's no more time to correct things. RWBY missed its chance. Weiss says that "Trust is a risk" and that's how Ozpin is forgiven. They have taken the risk of trusting him again after months of reflection, life-saving actions, and apologies. Emerald is granted the risk of trust in under an hour. I’ve heard so many people say they’re dropping RWBY this volume and scenes like this are precisely why.

Ugh. Heavy stuff, folks! I feel like I need to lighten the mood. Here, let's take a moment to acknowledge that the Schnees and Klein only marginally know what's happening.

Someone help them.

That is, to all intents and purposes, the end of our episode. Ruby has some sort of epiphany about actually handing Penny over — "That's actually a risk we haven't considered" — and Ironwood will no doubt fall for whatever plan they've concocted because he's stupid now. He receives a call from Ruby saying they agree to his terms, Watts is attempting to get communication of his own up and running, and Neo arrives to do... whatever she intends to do. Idk, I have assumed she wanted Ruby, but Cinder obviously doesn't have her yet for a trade off. Regardless, Neo is ready for a fight while Cinder just smiles. Team up 2.0?

As for bingo, I'm using my free space for "Worst redemption arc I've ever seen," with an honorary nod to Hazel too, and Ozpin's square gets blacked out in exes because that was just #bad.

This bingo board is a mess. Appropriate lol

Three more weeks, everyone. Hang in there! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby risk #mymetas #rwby recaps

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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

Note

Hiii could you rec any fics where Erik or Charles or both are vampires and or werewolves?

Thank you so much dear lots of love

I'm so sorry for being so late with this, but in compensation I do have tons of fics that should quench your thirst for some vampire/werewolf cherik. Enjoy!

Vampire

And the Gunslinger Followed – musical_emjay

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr hunts the things that go bump in the night.

He’s done so since he was a child, since the first time his mother put a knife in his hand and told him how to use it, told him why he should.

But ten years alone on the road has caught up to him, left him wrung out and longing for a place to rest, recharge, get his head back on straight. Though nowhere has ever truly felt like home, he heads straight for New York City, a place that’s always had more to offer him by way of warmth and comfort than any other. What he finds when he gets there, however, is several miles south of anything approaching restful. Old acquaintances, old memories, and a mysterious stranger who has him forgetting all his rules — Erik soon realizes there are decisions he needs to make, before circumstances intervene and make them for him. Otherwise, he might not like the result.

An Accident of Circumstance – manic_intent

Summary: Secret Santa, for azryal00, prompts: virginity, stalking or vampire AU. Decided to attempt all, in one fic. As part of a reward for his successes in border skirmishes, Sebastian Shaw allows Erik discretion to create a childe of his own, within reason. Erik rebels.

B-Negative – manic_intent

Summary: Written for the 5 Acts thing on livejournal, for toestastegood's 'Vampire AU' Act. This was originally going to be some sort of True Blood parody, but it somehow became a bit more serious. :/

Bloodbound – ikeracity

Summary: Finding himself strapped for cash at the start of his senior year, Erik decides to become a donor at TypO, a blood bar where vampires come to drink fresh blood from consenting donors, safely and legally. There, he catches the eye of Charles Xavier, vampire, telepath, professor at Columbia, and quite possibly the most alluring person Erik's ever met. Their first meeting sets into motion a bond much deeper than they can understand, one that neither of them had ever expected.

Old Metal (Blood, Memory and Rubber Ducks) – pprfaith

Summary: Erik is a vampire. Sookie, err, Charles is a telepath. Any questions?

Food Allergies – madneto

Summary: A bout of insomnia one fateful night leads Erik to Xavier's, the late night bookstore near Columbia University, whose owner Erik quickly decides is the best thing since... well, since maybe ever. Charles is brilliant, funny, passionate, handsome, and every other good adjective Erik can think of, and even though they've only been on three dates, Erik is convinced this is the start of something perfect.

Then Charles has a bad reaction to the food Erik cooks for them on their fourth date, leaving Erik to wonder if maybe he's completely botched his one chance at true love.

Series

The Price for Eternity – madneto

Summary: Erik and Charles are relaxing in the park when Erik decides to ask Charles a question that has long been on his mind, re: vampires. The answer is unexpected.

Series

The Boy with the Sigil Tattoo – keire_ke

Summary: Buffy AU. The story of a boy and his vampire.

Love and Other Secrets – Microsaur

Summary: Erik is a vampire that would much rather be left alone, Charles is a baronet that can't seem to accept that.

The First One – SassyDuckQueen

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a vampire living in a peaceful life in New York City, where he works as a night time security guard at the Pentagram. He's in a relationship with Charles Xavier, a young professor at a private university. However, his life is thrown upside down by the return of his wayward son, Peter, who informs him that an old enemy has resurfaced.

Series

Blood Bound – WaxRhapsodic

Summary: Charles is sick. Again. He decides to do something drastic about it and take a Blood Contract with a Vampire who turns out to be dangerously attractive.

Night Holds No Redemption – isabella

Summary: Vampire Hunters AU

When vampires roam the city at night there are also those who will hunt them down.

Charles Xavier and James “Logan” Howlett are vampire hunters part of the NIB – Night Investigation Bureau, in New York. When Erik, a vampire Charles failed to kill, comes back to haunt him Charles finds he no longer can run from his past and has to face the truth about the monster he created.

Pairing info: Flashbacks are Charles/Erik, present focuses first on the growing relationship between Logan/Charles, then on Charles/Erik.

Endgame will be Charles/Erik.

Night Life – Ook

Summary: he young journalist, or researcher, or whatever he is, is going to get himself in trouble around here. Erik can tell.

A researcher who doesn't know when to stop.

A man who doesn't take no for an answer.

A vampire that doesn't give interviews.

Werewolf

Dancing in the Rain – Pangea, velvetcadence

Summary: Werewolf alpha Erik found a human pup Charles alone in the forest and took him back to his lair. Erik protected and cared for the boy, though he was barely a mature wolf himself.

A few years passed, Charles grew up so pretty, and Erik was afraid he would miss his kind and go back to them, leaving Erik to be alone again - but Charles stayed and chose to be Erik’s mate.

Moon Song – ikeracity

Summary: Werewolf AU. When Charles is captured by hunters, Erik and his pack go after him. It turns out there might be some room for redemption left for both of them after all.

Loyalty and Obedience – Ook

Summary: A human rent boy working the streets gets rescued from a pimp by the Lehnsherr Pack Head and his Second on a recruitment trip. Werewolves, huh?

Who knows where this one's going?

Skin Deep – manic_intent

Summary: Written for the kmeme, Everyone-is-a-werewolf AU. Erik happens upon a seemingly abandoned mansion in Westchester during a full moon and finds an insanely clueless werewolf living in isolation.

In Escrow – manic_intent

Summary: Same 'verse as Skin Deep, between the final part and the epilogue. Charles abruptly realizes that he's unable to shift forms after a full moon. Which can only mean one thing.

Supernatural and the Scientist – Caradee

Summary: Charles Xavier is a upcoming geneticist and wildlife biologist who’s next big thesis reveals a little to much about the hidden werewolf community. Now Erik Lehnsehrr is suppose to figure out who it is feeding Xavier the information and put an end to it.

However, things are not what they appear.

Open Season – Caradee

Summary: Charles is a adorable omega wolf who has no sense for pack dynamics and wanders on his own. Erik is the exhausted Alpha of the pack who is unfortunately smitten with him. Its hunting season, nothing can go wrong. Right?

Only Hope – onaxe

Summary: According to werewolf law, an unwed Omega cannot legally hold custody of a child. When Charles is challenged for custody over his 17 year old sister, Raven, he desperately turns to the only solution available. He marries a complete stranger, Alpha Erik Lehnsherr, who is haunted by a mysterious past.

Note: Unfinished but a fun read.

Tooth and Nail – TurtleTotem

Summary: Erik is no longer part of Charles's pack. It's none of his business who he takes as a mate.

Vampires and Werewolves

For you, Eternity – gerec, lachatblanche

Summary: Erik still remembers the day he lost everything to a pack of werewolves; his family, his village, and the love of his life. Left with nothing but regret and pain everlasting, he turns to Sebastian Shaw - who promises revenge in exchange for loyalty eternal.

For centuries, he leads his clan of vampires in a war against their hated enemy, the same werewolf pack responsible for the slaughter of Erik’s village. But now Logan - the pack’s new leader - wants to make peace with their age old adversaries; an act that neither side particularly cares to pursue.

Adding to this volatile mix is one Charles Xavier, scientist and academic, drawn to the continent by his fascination for the supernatural and the locals’ tales of love, betrayal and never-ending war…

On the Scent – dedkake

Summary: The full moon is nearing and Charles decides to visit his neighbor.

Does not ebb – StarkMad

Summary: prompt: "...I would love a fic with Charles and Erik in an Underworld AU basically with Charles as Selene's character and Erik as Michael Corvin's character

and/ooor nonnie could do an Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and Charles as Sonja's character and Erik as Lucian (feel free and make me cry, dearest nonnie) feel free to do whatever you want as long as the AU still remains identifiable (and just kill me with tons of Chares and Erik drama and lurve and heartache and whatever.

Dear Neighbour Mine – issabella

Summary: Fill for the prompt by Lonelyparts: Charles is a telepathic werewolf living next door to a vampire who favours severe black turtlenecks and metal coffins.

Of course they have to annoy each other first, before dangerous circumstances bring them together.

#cherik #cherik fic recs #fic recs #werewolf AU #vampire art #there are surprisingly more vampire fics out there than werewolf fics #thought it would be the other way round #asks #earnestly answers

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skarsgard-daydreams · 3 years

Note

I really like the snippets of the SVMs that you post, but I can’t help but think about how by the end of the series Charlaine Harris just decided to destroy the character of Eric. I read those last few novels and just fumed with anger. Were you happy with how they turned out?

You are absolutely correct, anon. Was I happy with how they turned out? Absolutely not. I have a lot of bones to pick with Charlaine Harris about what she did to Eric Northman, but more importantly, I have a lot of bones to pick with Sookie.

Initially, I thought that the problem in the latter books was that Harris got lazy with everyone's characterization when she was contracted to write three more novels and started writing these characters in ways that were inconsistent. Certainly, there are a few instances where Eric is portrayed in a manner inconsistent with earlier books. (He loses a lot of his humor and charm and suddenly has a very different perspective on the possibility of turning Sookie, which I attribute to bad writing.) But as I went back in the series to compile these quotes, I noticed that the problems I had with Sookie's character in the latter books manifested much earlier. I have been trying so desperately to wrap my head around her behavior, and I have come to the following conclusions about Book Sookie, which are not necessarily applicable to TV Sookie...

(major spoilers and an unedited 4,000 word essay ahead)

Sookie's mind-reading abilities have stunted her ability to read and empathize with others without the use of her powers.

The magical bond that is formed when she and Eric exchange blood circumvents this while it is active, enabling Sookie to feel Eric’s emotions rolling off him at the time. She knows he is terrified when his maker arrives in book 10, and she is even able to identify precisely why he is frightened: he doesn’t want to be under someone else’s control. But after she severs their bond in book 11, her ability to read him fails her. She has spent her entire life reading people’s minds, which has served as a crutch. Rather than developing the intuitive ability to read a person’s body language and read between the lines of what they are saying that most of us learn, Sookie relies on her abilities, which don’t work on vampires. As a result, their motives are often mysteries to her. She notes how stony-faced they are, how carefully controlled they are in expression, but she misses a lot of cues that convey their repressed feelings. This is particularly bad for Eric, who, like many men, shields himself with anger when he is feeling hurt. His anger is not excessive or violent—in fact it is often very well controlled—but it masks the tender feelings that hide under the surface. It is telling that Sookie never acknowledges the incredible pain and betrayal that Eric must feel when she severs their blood bond, or when she ultimately refuses to save him from being taken away from her. The only time she feels sympathy toward him in that respect is in one line at the very end of the series where she considers how lonely he will be—and then she purposefully smothers that thought, refusing to dwell on it further.

Sookie's trauma from her formative relationship with Bill renders her suspicious of the motives of others and unable to trust her future partners.

Bill is the first man she ever dated, fell in love with, or had sex with, and it is revealed to her through Eric’s intervention that their entire relationship was premised on a lie. This plot point is the same in the book as it is in the TV show. Once Sookie and Eric are together, there are numerous instances where she suspects his motives. She maintains the firm belief that Eric never does anything unless it would be beneficial to himself, which is probably true up to a point, but even after he has shown that he is deeply in love with her and that he has borne the personal cost of this love, she still doubts him. In fact, Sookie believes that the love they seemingly share is only the result of the magical blood bond between them, which renders it false. Eric repeatedly states that he does not care why he loves her, only that he does, but this is a problem that Sookie cannot get past. It results in her severing their bond without warning. Once the bond is severed, she insists that she does still love him “all on her own” but her love quickly begins to erode without the understanding that the bond created as they are besieged by numerous calamities. When the final obstacle to their love presents itself—a contract negotiated by Eric’s maker that would force him to marry the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will—Sookie is so blinded by her inability to trust him that she doubts every word he says about wanting to stay with her. He never expresses a desire to leave her for the queen, but remains stalwart in his insistence that he cannot escape the contract despite seeking every possible loophole. Yet Sookie believes he is attracted to the queen and the power that she possesses and attributes his insistence that he is trapped in the contract to a clever lie designed to dupe her. In the final days of their relationship, Eric reveals that he knows Sookie could save him with a magical object that grants her one wish, and repeatedly insists that she could stop him from being taken from her if she wanted to. He does not ask her to do it, nor does he mention the object explicitly, or ask where it is. His statements read like a man who is wounded by his lover’s unwillingness to save him, but one who perhaps has too much dignity to resort to begging her to intervene. Presumably he believes that he should not have to beg the woman who says she loves him to save him from “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it. Once Sookie realizes that Eric knows about her magical deus ex machina, she starts to wonder if he really just wants to take it from her, or use it for himself. She even entertains the possibility that maybe he orchestrated the entire dilemma in order to get his hands on it. When the thought enters her head, she admits that she never would have considered such a thing if it weren’t for Bill’s betrayal of her.

Sookie's affection for Eric is conditional upon his usefulness to her (including as a sexual object), and she never develops an appreciation or understanding for who he is as a person.

Perhaps this is the fatal flaw in their relationship from the very beginning. Sookie does not express an interest in Eric other than the fact that he is physically attractive until his numerous favors to her and the many instances where he has saved her life or protected her begin to add up. The blood bond between them is formed when he prevents a vampire who has authority over him from forcing blood on an unwilling Sookie, instead offering his own blood as a substitute. Their marriage was orchestrated by Eric when another vampire wanted to take Sookie away from her own against her will, and it allows Eric to serve as a barrier to any other vampire who would try to harm her. Once their romantic relationship is formed in earnest, it quickly becomes evident that it is lopsided. Eric praises Sookie for her beauty, but also for how brave she is and how hard she works and countless other virtues that are not physical in nature. In return, Sookie feels obligated to pay him a compliment, and all she can manage is that he has a nice body and is good in bed. She often deflects from serious conversations with him to have sex instead. Sookie clearly doesn’t believe Eric is a good person, expressing her own doubts about his moral code when he doesn’t display enough outward moral repugnance for her liking. When Eric tells her how his boss tortured and killed a human woman to punish a vampire, she asks him how the story made him feel. His answer—that it made him fearful it could happen to Sookie—is not good enough for her because he does not also express remorse for the woman in question. (It should be noted that he doesn’t revel in her pain either; he is merely concerned with applying the moral of the story to his own circumstances and the woman that he loves.) Sookie does not seem to acknowledge the good that other people attribute to Eric, such as when his new bartender tells her she requested to come work for him. Sookie cannot imagine why anyone would want to work for Eric, but the vampire explains that he is a good master to serve because he treats his people well, specifically pointing out that he doesn’t ask for sexual favors from his female subordinates like other sheriffs do. Sookie is not interested in his life, his business, or his world. When he attempts to explain the elaborate hierarchy of vampire politics to her in an effort to include her more in his affairs, she outwardly expresses so much disinterest that Eric takes offense. Their relationship treads water for a while, until Sookie is kidnapped and tortured by fairies and Eric is prevented from rescuing her. While she is being tortured, Sookie is certain that Eric will show up at any moment, but she doesn’t know that he has been forbidden from intervening by his boss. The other vampires bind Eric in silver chains to keep him from going to save her. He later tells her how anguished he was that he could feel her pain and do nothing to protect her, shedding tears as he talks about it, but she doesn’t want to hear it. That moment marks a turning point in their relationship. Sookie repeatedly affirms that she believes Eric is so big and strong and capable of handling anything, and any time he is not able to deliver on her expectations, she loses even more love for him.

Sookie's prejudice against vampires leads to her treating them as though they are not people.

Although Sookie does not express her prejudice explicitly as some characters do, she still exhibits a bias against vampires throughout the books and expresses a clear preference for humans or shapeshifters. She is disgusted, for example, by Eric’s suggestion that she should come work at Fangtasia, saying that she would hate to watch the fangbangers seek the attention of the undead among them. She believes that they do not feel emotions or possess empathy in any comparable measure to humans. (The thought that not all humans share the same depth of emotion or empathy does not seem to occur to her.) She also discounts their physical pain or suffering because they possess the ability to heal themselves. This happens numerous times when Eric is wounded, often while trying to protect her. In one case, Eric shoves himself in front of a car window and takes a bullet intended for her point blank. While he is injured, he fights off the werewolf who was trying to kill Sookie. Then he gets back in the car and drives her home with the bullet still lodged inside his chest. When they arrive back at her house, he asks her for blood, saying explicitly that he is in pain as his body pushes the bullet out of his chest. She tells him he’ll be fine and if he really needs it, he should stop at Merlotte’s and get some True Blood on his way home. Another time, Sookie comes upon Eric after he has been badly beaten and bound with silver. His arm is broken and his hands, she notes, look gruesome, because the silver was wrapped around them. As soon as she frees him, he springs into action and decapitates the vampire who had attacked him before said vampire can go for Sookie, who gets faint at the sight. (She is not injured.) Eric picks her up even though his arm is broken, and she takes the opportunity to internally romanticize the moment, imagining that she is Scarlet O’Hara. But a short while later, she asks Sam to drive her home without thinking about offering Eric a bottle of True Blood even though they’re right in front of the bar. The most egregious example of this phenomenon occurs when Eric’s vampire brother has massacred all of the staff at his home. Sookie arrives to find several vampires and humans slaughtered on the premises while Eric is desolate and in excruciating pain with his ribs ripped through his chest. He tells her that he needs her to push his ribs back into place and that Pam was there as well, and Sookie proceeds to chastise him for not springing into action to go after his brother. When tears form in his eyes, she grows impatient and questions why he hasn’t called someone to come clean up yet. It isn’t until midway through the conversation that she tells Jason to push Eric’s ribs in so he can heal, and it is only on accident that Jason happens to find Pam, who is thankfully not dead.

Sookie's system of morals is so rigid that, when she participates in violence, she suppresses her own personal responsibility and projects blame on the people around her in order to continue believing that she is a good person.

After the massacre referenced in the paragraph above, Eric and Sookie must fight his crazed brother and several fairies at her house, slaying his maker in the process. When they are victorious, Sookie is immediately revolted by the bloodshed. Eric, meanwhile, is flooded with relief that he is free of his maker, who subjected him to hundreds of years of rape and slavery when he was first turned into a vampire. Sookie knows this, and in fact can feel the emotions radiating from him, but she seems to despise Eric for feeling anything but repugnance in that moment. This appears to be her coping strategy any time she participates in violence—she negates her own culpability and creates moral distance between herself and Eric by judging his reaction to be grotesque. The same thing happens when they are able to kill the brutally cruel vampire regent who was actively trying to ruin Eric and was responsible for attempts on Sookie’s life and who refused permission for Pam to turn her human lover into a vampire before she died. Eric and Pam are joyous that they have won and that the regent cannot torment them any longer. Sookie, who helped plan the attack and in fact dealt part of the killing blow to the regent, is abruptly disgusted when Eric embraces her and kisses her. It does not occur to her that he might be relieved that she was unharmed in the battle and that the constant threat to them all has been eliminated. Instead, she assumes that he’s trying to have sex with her and tells him she’s not interested in a manner that clearly conveys her revulsion. Eric does not handle the conflict gracefully, and bites her harshly to drink from her after he tells her she’s being a hypocrite, which only gives her more reason to push her guilt away and project it onto him.

Sookie’s youth and inexperience serves as a barrier to navigating the turbulent waters of a real relationship.

Sookie had never been in a relationship before Bill, and she only has one other relationship between breaking up with Bill and getting together with Eric. While she enjoys the ‘honeymoon’ phase of her relationships, she flounders when it comes time to address communication issues or outside pressures. Neither Sookie nor Eric find it easy to establish an open channel of communication, but Sookie actively seeks to end serious conversations early or avoid them altogether, while being stunned that Eric initiates conversations about their relationship, something that she thinks all men avoid. At one point, she tells Eric that they need to talk and then starts discussing what she refers to as their “irreconcilable differences.” The conversation seems to be veering into breakup territory, and they’re deeply involved in it when someone knocks on her door. She immediately invites her unexpected guests in and is relieved by the excuse to terminate the conversation abruptly even though Eric is still trying to figure out what’s going on. At other times, she observes that she loves Eric, but she’s not feeling the same lust or excitement when she thinks about him anymore. Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship knows that passions often wax and wane, and that it also takes work to sustain and strengthen a relationship over time. Sookie is unwilling to put in the work or even have an honest discussion about the things they need to work on. She talks about romance novels a lot, and it seems to me that she has an idealized concept of love where she believes that they should be effortless and that passions should always be as hot as they were at the beginning. There are also times when she behaves in an extremely childish manner in the midst of conflict. After she severs the magical bond between her and Eric, he comes to her house and her main concern is whether or not he’s mad, while he asks her if she still loves him. She stubbornly insists he has to answer her question first even though she’s the one who broke the bond. On another occasion, Eric’s king comes into town and he is required to be at the monarch’s beck and call. Sookie gets mad at him and tells him she doesn’t want to see him one day, then is even more irritated that he isn’t calling her the next. Soon after, Eric is dealing with an endless litany of personal disasters that he can’t control, and he is short with her. Sookie listens to him confide in her about his problems and then responds with sharp-edged, sarcastic contempt, telling him that she has information that might have helped him with his problems and she might have told him if he wasn’t neglecting her.

Sookie’s limited understand of cultures that are unlike her own leads to misguided assumptions and fatal misunderstandings.

As the books progress, Sookie’s knowledge about vampire culture and governance grows incrementally, but she never approaches their customs with the same open-mindedness that she uses when it comes to werewolves or shapeshifters and their customs. This proves to be a major problem in her relationship with Eric, where there are two unfamiliar cultures at play—the modern culture of vampires, and the ancient culture of Eric’s human life. Sookie often refers to Eric as her “big Viking,” but she never gleans any insight about the culture in which he was raised. She seems to believe that he does not have much respect for women and projects American pre-Women's liberation attitudes on him even though he does not express those beliefs. When he offers to have her come live with him, she assumes that he wants her to be a housewife who cooks and cleans for him. She takes offense, and Eric is confused by her response. As Sookie’s situation becomes more perilous and she is injured multiple times in attacks at Merlotte’s, Eric asks her repeatedly to come live with him and/or work at Fangtasia so that he can protect her. She rebuffs these proposals, believing that they are rooted in misogyny. Sookie is also disinterested in understanding vampire culture, tuning Eric out when he explains things to her and refusing to accept that their rules and customs are different from her own when they inconvenience her. In particular, she never seems to understand the feudal system of governance under which the vampires live. When Eric is obliged to obey his maker or wait on his king or queen, Sookie is consistently irritated that he is not paying enough attention to her. She either does not understand or will not accept that vampires are not free to do whatever they want. This becomes a huge problem in the latter three books after a king from another state annexes Louisiana and kills every sheriff except Eric, putting him in a precarious position. Backed into a corner, he must maneuver very carefully to protect himself and everyone who is loyal to him. At the same time, he learns that his maker entered into a contract to marry him to the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will. Sookie refuses to believe Eric when he tells her that there is no way out of the contract, repeatedly insisting that if he loved her enough, he would just refuse to honor it. She holds him to the standards of her own culture, remaining willfully ignorant of the horrible consequences that could befall them both if Eric were to disobey. When she learns she can intervene and save Eric from his fate, she refuses, adamant in her belief that he will find his own escape clause if he truly wants to. The end result of her refusal is that Eric is forced into 200 years of “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it, a fate that does not inspire any guilt or pity in her, presumably because she still sees herself as a jilted lover.

At the end of the day, Eric deserved a lot better than Sookie.

He also deserved a lot better from the author, and a lot of people were justifiably outraged with the ending that Charlaine Harris gave to him. Harris, by way of Sookie, repeatedly reminds the reader that the Queen of Oklahoma is a very attractive woman, and it seems that this is intended to excuse the fact that Eric would be contractually obligated to have sex with her whether he wanted to or not. Eric expresses no desire for the queen, constantly asserting his commitment to and love for Sookie. When he admits that he would be required to consummate the relationship with the queen, he seems discomforted and ashamed at the idea. (Harris specifically uses the word “abashed.”) It is revealed to Sookie that the queen conspired to put Eric in this predicament specifically because she knew he valued his independence too much to ever agree to it willingly. Sookie knows that Eric was forced to service his maker sexually against his will, and that what he hates above all else is to be subjugated. She also knows that he will not be a monarch if he marries the queen; he will be her consort, a position that carries with it no inherent power or authority unless the queen gives it to him, and he will not be able to ever succeed her. Even despite all of this, Sookie is completely unsympathetic toward Eric. The author never acknowledges that this ending for Eric essentially means that he will be raped. What astounds me is that I don’t think she would have made his choice for a female character, or if she did, she would not have framed it in the same way. Sookie’s casual dismissal of Eric being sold into “cushy slavery” implies that male rape is no big deal, which is incredibly harmful. It is astounding that she would subject the primary love interest of the entire series to such a fate, and it’s the final nail in the coffin for Sookie Stackhouse for me, at least in her book incarnation. If any of her other love interests had been put in similar circumstances, I can’t imagine what she would not do to try to save them. But because it was Eric—her big, strong Viking who she believes is incapable of feeling emotions or pain and must be invincible in order to be valued by her—Sookie thinks nothing of it. Nothing at all.

@grimeundglow @stevesharrlngtons @scxrsgxrd @grandpa-sweaters

#I have been waiting to say all of this for weeks #thank you for putting up with my quote spam #TV Sookie is fine #TV Sookie can be with Eric if she wants #Eric Northman #Southern Vampire Mysteries #Southern Vampire Mysteries Spoilers #English Major Rants #The Longest Rant She Ever Ranted

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pomegranates-and-blood · 3 years

Text

νοσταλγία (Chapter 37)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: The usual

A/N: I am so so sorry that I’ve been failing to update as scheduled, I have an exam coming up and I’ve been a bit drained lately, but I’ll get back to normal soon. I hope you like this, thank you!

Also, alongside this chapter there’s Vár, Ivar’s PoV of this. I wasn’t very happy with what this chapter revealed or showed on its own, and I wanted you to have a broader perception of what happened and why. I 100% recommend you read it.

If you are honest, you don’t know how you ended up spending your morning sitting between Ivar’s legs on the floor of the main hall, his chest at your back, his arm secure around your waist and his throwing knives on your hands.

But here you are.

Eyes narrowed, you focus on the wooden pillar in front of you. Lifting your arm, you throw the knife.

It hits the pillar, it just…doesn’t hit it with the blade.

You look down at the knife in your hand. For such a small thing that is mostly blade, it is surprisingly difficult to have it pierce something.

Behind you, Ivar chuckles, and nuzzles at your neck, pressing a kiss over your bare skin.

“There isn’t a fault with the knife, my love.”

He has taken a liking for calling you that, even more so than before. A part of you wonders if it is his way of returning the three-word promise you haven’t tired of sharing with him since you told him for the first time but he hasn’t yet said back out loud; but you never linger too much on it, lost in the utter surprise and bafflement at finding out Ivar the Boneless likes using terms of endearment.

He’s called you my love more times than you can count, and you will admit it is your favorite. But he’s also called you my sweet, my heart, and even the way he calls you wife nowadays has a different tone to it.

In turn, you’ve taken for using terms in your own tongue, never failing to have warmth grow in your chest as you remember first hearing them as your mother said goodbye to your father, or as he greeted her at the temple. You wonder if they would be proud of you, of the man you love. You wonder if they would forgive you for imagining a world where you can choose love instead of the legacy they have inherited you.

You’ve been thinking a lot about them, these last few days. Maybe it is the fact that you now know you have no choice but to spend the winter in Kattegat, and the threat of the choice you will have to one day make seems lessened, allowing you to think of them without guilt. Maybe it is the conversation Ivar and you had about his ability to be a father, and all the others that followed in the dead of night, where he asked you if you think his children would love him, if you think they’d admire him, and clung to your words in a way he has never before, at least not that you have taken note of.

But you’ve been thinking about them, and about Sieghild. Thinking what it would be like to have their counsel, thinking they have been pulling you in two different directions long before Ivar made the promise to let you choose between Kattegat and Attica when the time comes.

As if to prove his previous point, Ivar takes one of the five knives from you and throws it towards the same pillar, leaving it deeply embedded in the wood.

“That was just to show off.” You grumble, and he breathes a laugh against your skin.

“You can do it, try again,” He tells you, his arm secure around your waist. You lean a bit more of your back against him, and lift your arm. Ivar makes a sound to interrupt you, and his hand grabs a hold of your wrist, “Why are you moving your arm like that? It’s a knife, not a sword.”

You sigh deeply, and try to keep the irritation off your expression as you let him guide you into a correct position.

You throw it, and though this time it does hit the pillar with the tip of the blade, it doesn’t have enough strength to stay stuck to the pillar. You grit your teeth, and you feel Ivar’s smug gaze on you, and that only makes you angrier.

Instead of letting him infuriate you further, you turn in his arms, mindful of his legs -his eyes have been earning a blue hue to them, a bit more each day, but each time you mention it he rubs his eyes and tells you not to worry- so you can face him.

The edge of the blade teases at his skin, tracing over his cheek and making him turn his face towards you.

When he does, you tilt your head and kiss him, slowly, making sure he still feels the knife against his skin as you move your lips against his.

When you pull back there’s a deliberate flick of your tongue over his bottom lip, making Ivar lean forward, as if tethered to you by the spell of one kiss alone.

You smile, and his eyes, dark and hungry, focus on the curve of your mouth, a low hum reverberating through his chest as he breathes out.

You may not know yet how to throw these damn knives, but you certainly can distract him from his gloating.

____

“You’ve brought a few new ones.” Ivar comments, poorly-masked annoyance in his tone when he nudges yet another planter you’ve put on a nearby table.

“Marsh violet,” You tell him, pointedly snatching the vase when Ivar reaches for the plant’s fragile leaves. “It needs care.”

“It’s winter,” He reminds you, “It will probably die anyways.”

“Not if I can help it.”

You went out past the walls to fetch this one, and you were unearthing it when you first heard Galla’s voice behind you. It holds a stupidly special place in your heart, this simple plant of big and roundish leaves and nothing else.

Your hands shake a bit as you trace the edges of one of its leaves, reminded with blinding clarity of the one secret you’ve kept since Ivar has returned.

The day goes on, and then a few days go by, and while you can forget about the discovery of the Greeks’ survival during most of the time, too lost on what your life has turned into; each time you have to look or care for the frail plant you brought from Kattegat’s outskirts you are reminded of your secret.

This night, when you take Ivar’s hand and follow him to the bedroom you share, and return the miraculously free and almost happy smile he offers, and taste the mead in his tongue and feel his hands on you; you consider closing your eyes and pretending the world doesn’t exist, your secret doesn’t exist. You consider lying.

“Will you tell me? Of what made you go past the walls?” Freydis asks, and you consider her for a few moments.

You know trusting her even now is foolish, and naïve, and a mistake. But you also know that if you are the only one to know of the ghosts that still walk this earth you will lose your mind. So, you decide that between the pain of a possible betrayal and the suffocating feeling of a secret, you’d rather risk it.

“My people, they…they are alive. I…I needed to talk with an old friend, she…she is leading the Greeks, while I am gone.” You notice the words that should have left your lips, that would have left the lips of a braver woman, would have been ‘now that I am gone’. But it is with a heavy heart you remain in this world between worlds, burdened by choice and freedom in a way you never imagined you would be.

“Why not invite her to Kattegat? You are Queen, after all.”

You offer her a stern look, “You know why.”

She sighs, conceding. Freydis presses her shoulder to your own, and takes a deep breath.

“I told you, witch, wherever the Gods take you I am with you, and I stand by that. But…it isn’t smart to keep things from Ivar.”

“I know.”

She still insists, “If he finds out, he will kill you, or kill them, or both.”

“I know.”

“Whatever deals you have made, whatever promises he has made; none of it will matter if he believes you’ve betrayed him.”

“I know, Freydis.” You tell her, turning to her with annoyance clearly written in your gaze. The blonde only smiles, and shrugs.

“I’m just trying to understand.”

You offer the only truth you can, “I can’t choose. For a long time, I’ve resented the idea that your Gods took my choice from me with the Fate they weaved. For an even longer time, I’ve fought against anyone that tries taking my choice from me. But…”

“There’s freedom in being chained, isn’t there?” She finishes for you, and when you drop your head to her shoulder, tired and worn, she leans her own head against your own. “I don’t know much, but I know that.”

“What should I do?”

“You shouldn’t ask me for advice, that’s for one,” She tells you, and you chuckle. After a breath, Freydis offers, “There will come a day when you can’t remain in between the two choices anymore. I say you wait for that day, and in the meantime, you make what you can of the time you have.”

“So, I lie.”

“You live.”

You linger on the small dresser where you place the snake bracelet he gifted you, tracing the shape of the metal. There’s a part of you that makes your heart quicken and your hands tremble and whispers lie, lie, lie.

But there’s another part of you, a part of you that has been allowed to be only in the time you’ve been away from Greece and her people; that wants to be something else, something more than a lie.

For all you did to Narses and to yourself with your games, for all the parts of you that suffered and died to bring you here; you cannot lie now. You cannot turn your back on the promises you made, to yourself and to others.

For what Ivar needs out of you, for the way he desperately wants to believe there is someone he can blindly trust and believe in and his hope that that someone is you; you cannot lie now. You cannot return to being someone you don’t want to be, someone that wouldn’t love him the way you do.

“Ivar,” He lifts his head from his work on the braces of his legs, but his expression shifts towards something more guarded at whatever he sees in yours. You take a breath, and whisper, “The Greeks, they…they are alive. And in Scandinavia.”

There are countless questions he wants to ask, you see it written in his stunned and confused expression. But, blinking as if to rid himself of a daze, he returns his attention to his legs.

You watch with baited breath as he finishes taking the heavier brace off his left leg. There’s always a methodical care with which he makes sure each night that they are safely stored away.

Tonight, as the heavy iron contraption falls to the ground unceremoniously, the sound it makes echoes in your head.

Ivar doesn’t look at you, for a long time, and you can do nothing except stay silent and wait.

“How did you find out?”

“They found me, Galla, she…she was near Kattegat. We met one night, she…explained everything.”

“You went past the walls,” He says, not waiting for confirmation. He grits his teeth, considers his words before he says, “And no one told me.”

“No one that would tell you knows about it.”

It isn’t a smart thing, to remind Ivar of the things he can’t control, to make him see there are situations where he is powerless. Even if it is already past, you know it weighs on him to now know you could have left and there was nothing he could have done, and, maybe, to imagine you could do it at any moment now and he wouldn’t be able to stop you even if he is here.

Instead of continuing down that path, he turns piercing eyes to you and questions, “Where are they now?”

You shrug, “Far away.”

Ivar’s rage flares, “Are you trying to hide where they went, hm? Shield them from me?”

“No, I-…”

“I don’t need your permission or your help to find them,” He reminds you coldly, cruelly. And in the dangerous rage that overtakes him, in the hardened malice in pale blue eyes, you find Ivar the Boneless looking back. You find the man that took you from your people with iron encasing your wrists, you find the man you would have waged war against until the end of both of you. He presses, “I could have them all killed. Tie each of them to a pyre and burn them alive.”

Your chest tightens with something, something like pain, something like betrayal, something like wrath.

He knows better than to expect you to be intimidated, he knows better than to believe himself capable of making you cave.

But he also knows you well enough to know what to say, what to promise, to hurt you.

And a part of you that is too alike him wants to do the same, wants to lash out with cruelty against his own. A part of you that you have to grit your teeth through a deep breath to keep at bay.

Instead of biting words, you offer a simple answer,

“You could.”

It is not subtle the way you’re almost daring him to promise to do it, wanting to hear him say what monstrous things he is willing to do, wanting to make him admit giving you a choice was an illusion, a trick.

Ivar lift his eyebrows, head tilted to the side, and insists, “Is that why you’re hiding them from me?”

“I am not hiding them! I don’t know where they went.”

His voice lowers, and he warns, “Don’t lie to me.”

“I am not,” You promise with the same fervor, “Stop attempting to threaten me, or my people, Ivar.”

“Your people!?” He repeats, accusing, “The people of Kattegat are your people! Or have you forgotten that already, hm?”

“I am still a Daughter of Greece!”

You see it clearly written in his gaze, the same madness that made him bring you to Kattegat and tell you, “You were sent by the Gods to me, and you will me by my side, I am not letting you go.”

Ivar furrows his nose in a snarl, and he takes a sharp breath before he speaks, gesturing broadly with his arm,

“And yo-…”

With his gesture he unintentionally hits a vase of marsh violets, and as the ceramic planter falls to the ground with one of your latest additions to the growing collection of plants you keep in your room, his words stop.

Ivar stares at the fallen plant for a few breaths, and you listen to the part of you that tells you not to push and for once to remain quiet.

When he lifts his gaze back to yours, there’s something more human behind the pale blue of his eyes, there’s something softer, something more him.

He swallows thickly before whispering, almost hoarsely, “They want you with them, you know that.”

“They don’t…” Your words die and there’s a small, disbelieving smile on your lips when you finish, “They don’t need me, not even to survive these lands.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

You let out a breath, “You didn’t ask a question.”

He considers you in silence, but he doesn’t ask the question you know is at the tip of his tongue. Stubbornness and gritted teeth keep the why aren’t you with them at bay, and Ivar’s head turns to the side, forcing his eyes away from yours.

A deep breath, and you accept his silence, walking away and changing out of your dress, unaccustomed fingers working out the laces of it.

When you step back out from behind the half wall, you find him sitting on his side of the bed, careful control keeping his body still as he still avoids your gaze.

“You aren’t with them.” He tells you when you get close enough, blinking slowly and looking up at you.

You take a deep breath, and Freydis’ words echo in your head, you know the man you married; he needs certainty.

“No, I am not.” You sentence, and this time it is your stubbornness what keeps the next words from leaving your lips, I don’t want to.

Ivar nods, as if accepting your words, and sucks in a sharp breath before he states the next certainty he’ll hold on to.

“You love me.”

“I do.”

His shoulders drop slightly at your simple words, and after a moment where the hesitance laced with anger that is so characteristic of the man you married is clearly written in his expression, Ivar extends a hand towards you.

“Come to bed,” He tells you, a request behind the words that sound like an order. You hesitate only for a moment, but it is enough to make him grit his teeth and bite out, “Please.”

Your chest pulls tight, and you take his hand and sink into bed at his side, your head against his chest, your hand over his heart.

Your eyes remain open, and the reflection of the light on your wedding ring seems mocking for a moment, but you focus on Ivar’s warmth and dispel such thoughts, and try quelling the anger, and try banishing the part of you that wants to keep fighting and hurting.

His arm drapes over your back, bringing you closer to him, and, with uncharacteristic softness, Ivar presses a kiss against your hair.

“Them being alive doesn’t change anything, Ivar.” You tell him quietly, but judging by the hollow and mocking chuckle he offers he doesn’t believe you.

Instead, he tells you to sleep, that you can talk about this tomorrow. You have to bite down words of protest, and an uneasy feeling in your stomach, but surprising yourself -and, you dare think, Ivar too- you agree.

His arm tightens around you, and he brings you closer, even if it is impossible

His voice is so quiet you barely make out the words, but you still hear him,

“I love you.”

You close your eyes and swallow thickly. For even if your heart skips a beat and your chest feels with warmth, it quickly gives way to the cold to take a hold of you. Because his promise of love sounds laced with pain, with regret for something not yet done, with grief for something not yet lost.

Instead of saying anything, you turn your head to press a kiss on his chest, before settling back in your place and willing yourself to give in to sleep.

That night, you wake up a few times, half dazed and sometimes chasing a dream of features veiled in red. And each time you wake up, while you drift back off to sleep, you feel the rhythmic trace of Ivar’s fingers going up and down your back, his free hand still holding onto yours where it rests on his chest.

When you wake in the morning, he is still tracing the methodic pattern up and down your spine, and pale blue eyes are focused above him, as if searching for an answer to be written up there.

He doesn’t take his eyes off the nothingness ahead, not even when you shuffle in your place and lean up in one elbow to greet him.

Your hand on his cheek makes Ivar finally turn to meet your eyes, and your stomach tightens with worry both at the blue hue of the whites of his eyes and at the unreadable expression on his face.

“Your eyes are very blue,” You mumble, thumb tracing the darkness under his eye before you ask, “Did you sleep?”

“Stithulf isn’t what’s keeping you here,” He tells you without prompting, ignoring your previous words. You sigh, but remain quiet, and Ivar continues, “And when you leave me-…”

“If.”

He ignores that too.

“It won’t be because of him.”

There’s nothing to say to it, really. It is not a question, he knows the answer to it. The deal you made on your first morning as husband and wife was always meant to be a way to surrender without admitting to it, to live in borrowed time, to last for the winter.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” He confesses, voice low and hand momentarily tightening on yours.

It isn’t the harsh promises of you won’t leave me, or the resigned bitterness of you’ll choose to leave me. It is an admission, a plea, a truth.

And legacy binds you, the blood in your veins entraps you; they keep you from an admission of your own. I don’t want to.

Instead, you try to keep your voice low, as soothing as you can, as you promise, “Them being alive changes nothing, Ivar, I-…”

“It changes everything,” He interrupts, stubborn, resolute, “You would have done things very differently if you had known they were alive. Will you tell me that’s not true, hm?”

“If I had known they were alive I wouldn’t be here now,” You state, maybe a little harshly. Ivar grits his teeth, but doesn’t deny that was what he meant. “That is true, but it doesn’t matter. I am here, I love you and I…I don’t regret not knowing, I don’t wish for anything to have been different.”

I don’t wish for anything to ever be different from this.

You see it in his expression, you feel it in the body pressed against yours, that he believes you, that he finds a semblance of comfort in your words. Still, he presses, “Why?”

You smile slightly, “My Fate…my Fate is intertwined with yours.”

Ivar is a man of certainties, and he will hold on to them with strong and trembling hands even if they tear at the skin and make him bleed; and all you can hope to do is give him certainties that don’t mean pain, even if the one certainty he needs from you is one you cannot yet give.

"I haven’t chosen them, I haven’t chosen yet. And I don’t have to,” You promise him with a low voice, pressing your brow against his before continuing, “For as long as winter lasts, I am with you.”

____ ____ ____

Thank you so much for reading! Would love to know your thoughts on this!

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me @angelofthorr @samsationalwilson @peachyboneless @1950schick @punkrocknpearls @ietss @itsmysticalmystery @revolution-starter @chibisgotovalhalla @the-a-word-2214 @fae-sedai @crazybunnyladysworld @funmadnessandbadassvikings @stupiddarkkside

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar #νοσταλγία masterlist

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blankdblank · 3 years

Text

Brother Dearest Pt 52

“Steve has a sister...” Peggy halfway murmured at the sight of the returned Commandos to the bar she alone sat in the curved booth with fingers twisting the shot glass holding a whiskey now watered down by the melted ice meant to cool it.

Jaques asked in his slide first into the booth the others joined in on the motion to support their friend in this monumental loss. “What?”

“Steve has a sister.” She repeated and jaws dropped to her rehash of all the Colonel had shared and the way he had hinted he would hurt Steve for the fate the girl suffered.

Gabe, “So she’s dead?”

Dum dum shook his head, “No, we know Steve! We spent all that time together and not one mention of a family!”

Peggy said on the cusp of tears with a crack in her voice, “Well we apparently didn’t know him very well!” Up she raised her glass and haltingly took a sip and lowered it with half the liquid remaining in the lipstick stained glass that tapped the table again to her swallow. “He never said if she was dead or alive.” She whispered with her mind circling on that woman traveling with the Colonel who said her name was classified.

Jim, “And what if she’s alive? Not like we can do anything for the girl.”

“I have to know.” Left simply to that the conversation hung like a wet blanket over the mock funeral on the base as none could attend the one they anticipated would be held to celebrate him upon his return as a hero to Brooklyn.

And small bits of progress were shared on and off in the aid of Stark in his enlisting her aid in clearing his name and saving the world between run ins of the old friends until the fated call, “I found her, she’s alive.”

“You got to be kidding me,” Dum Dum chuckled and asked, “Who is she then? Still a nurse or did she drop that after the war?”

“She’s a student, at Columbia University. She’s in Brooklyn. I’m going to meet her tomorrow after a stop by Steve’s grave.”

“Well then, do we at least get a name?”

“She changed it, her surname at least, she goes by Bunny Pear now.”

“Bunny Pear.” The name had his face go stoic recalling those towns and stops they crossed with those signs posted up creaking the gears in his head in puzzlement as to who this mystery sister and brother duo was and why the hell Steve acted like he knew nothing of them at all. “The only woman awarded the Medal of Honor Bunny Pear?”

“Yes, you’ve read about her then?”

“Steve lied about a lot more than just having a sister. Bunny Pear devastated every German force she and her brother came across, and while we toured a ruin of a city they’d left Steve and Bucky played the fool. Hundreds of soldiers we crossed had thousands of things to say about them.” He paused then said, “Ring us when you’ve talked to her with what you learn.”

“I will.” She replied and hung up the phone more fearful than she had been hours earlier upon uncovering an address to find said lost sister she had been brushed off by once before years prior as to why her friend was so curt in his parting tone that revealed a mingle of hurt and something else. Something she hoped to be a misunderstanding and not a betrayal of the man they all had such hopes for being a pure heart in the middle of a harsh war to guide them to safety and a better tomorrow.

From the library to the dinner table you were set to move for the meal the brothers got started on once Eddie had come home and Peggy joined you all after having asked a few blaring questions about Venom in his shoot outwards ready to eat any intruder upon the telling scent of blood foreign to the family. In a skip of a scoop Eddie remained at home to keep watch of you all tonight knowing Venom would want to be on patrol all night. Both Norma and Dawn smiled and greeted Peggy, with whom they chatted in the wait for food until the doorbell rang again and Eddie sprung to check on who it was.

“Oh, hello,” the clear voice echoed through the house and was followed by, “Edwin Jarvis, there is a Peggy Carter here I believe?”

Eddie replied, “Yup, James said you called. Just you?”

“Jarvis, we’re growing cold, it’s on the move!” Stark’s voice came from the car parked on the curb who waved to Eddie, “Hey Eddie! Been following your headlines, you’ve been building up some steam!”

To that you smirked and climbed to your feet to join Peggy to the door, “I take it this means you won’t be staying for supper.”

“Apparently not. The offer was very kind however.” She answered with a kind smile.

Right to the door you strolled to stop in the doorway where Stark waved to you, “There you are Bunny! Not dead yet I see.”

That had you smirk and look to Jarvis in the sweep of his eyes over you, “Oh my,” he said then flashed you a grin stating, “Edwin Jarvis,” his hand outstretched for a handshake you returned, “Pleasure to meet you. I have heard so very many things about you, Mrs Pear Howlett.”

“Pleasure to meet you, you must have the patience of a mountain to work with Stark.”

His head tilted to the side a moment and he flashed Peggy a grin, “Lately it has been much more accommodating to my skill set and the company much less likely to land me slapped by women I come across.” His eyes wandered over you in a lean into Eddie’s side to the clear shift of your belly that had you rest a hand on it. “Might, I be bold in offering congratulations?”

“You may, and thank you.” You replied then looked to Peggy.

“I will let you rest, however I did want to let you know, the Howling Commandos, who traveled with Steve and Bucky in the war, they will be in town tomorrow and wondered if you might be up to meeting them? They also wished to pay their respects to Bucky’s parents as well.”

Eddie, “Bucky’s just got his Mom and sisters, girls are about 11 now.”

Peggy, “Good, we were planning on joining in for church, if you would accept that.”

“Not my place to ban anyone from church. We do have a block party after they may find as a reprieve after a Catholic Mass. Can be quite daunting for some not familiar with the service.”

She nodded and to Stark’s next honk she rolled her eyes and Jarvis said, “We will see you tomorrow, Mrs Pear Howlett, Mr Pear.” Both names accentuated with nods before his turn to join Peggy on the way back to the car.

“Should be fun,” you said to Eddie who chuckled and turned to lift Teddy in his race towards his father with drawing in hand to show it off.

“Oh yes,” he said to your closing and locking the doors. To turn back to the guys with eyes shifting over Eddie answering his mental questions on what he had missed of the intruders above what the guys had given of a basic description. Though mainly to calm Venom that the threat was aimed for Peggy and not yourself or his children.

Norma however drew your focus in a move to guide you to the dining room table, “Your friend had to leave before supper?”

“Yes, she’ll be at Mass tomorrow with more friends of my brother Steve’s.”

James asked, “You okay with that? We can stay home.”

That had you chuckle, “Right, because she would never just bring them here.”

And he smirked back at you playfully answering, “You set the rules. You want them barred we won’t let them in.”

Dawn said, “I just can’t believe she would come here knowing she was being followed.”

“Well I suppose there is the off chance she didn’t know. Seemed afraid of the woman at least, had to be sneaky or something to scare her.”

Victor murmured in French to keep Norma from hearing, “Don’t have to be sneaky to get a shot off in my chest.”

James teased, “Fairly big target to miss a couple feet away, now his head, be hard to hit that in reaching distance.” Earning a smirking glance back at him.

Dawn said to Norma’s confused glance their way, “Suppose we’ll just have to make sure these friends of Steve’s won’t cross any lines.”

The purple floral wrap dress you chose that hung past your knees was smoothed over you to sit under the cardigan you used to keep warm on top of the jacket that was eased over your arms and back. Sure to have your hat in place down the front stoop you strolled to join the others in town for the joint trip to Mass between your relatives. With his arm around your back James kept you close in the sight of Stark’s car driving past. While on the sidewalk outside the church Peggy stood with her signature blue dress and bright red hat to match her lipstick outlining the easy grin she gave you in the move to lead the staring group of guys behind her inside. Into the pew a row back to the left of yours across the aisle they settled. Each of them luring stolen glimpses through the service until the town and Priest especially got a chance to interrogate the newcomers who seemed to keep their focus on the family that everyone hoped would just be left to their privacy to live out their lives.

Once Mass was over however and your family took turns in the chance for confession the Brocks were the first to swoop in to begin the questioning. Gina especially smiled in her step towards the group and asked, “Passing through town?”

James Montgomery took the brief murmured conversation Peggy and Dum Dum Dugan were having about the proper time for him to put his hat back on to answer, “Yes, we’ve come out to pay our respects to Steve Rogers’ and Bucky Barnes’ families.”

Her husband asked, “Really? You knew them well?”

Pinky Pinkerton said after glancing back to Gabe Jones, Jim Morita and Happy Sam Sawyer who were ushered prior to Mass to sit on the far end of the pew on their move to join the group again, “We served together, though Steve never mentioned he had a sister, or any family at all really. Said he was orphaned.”

Mama Brock said in an unamused scoff to the memory of how her adopted daughter was treated, “Selfish little boy wouldn’t know family if it slapped him in the face. Lucky we never got our hands on him after he kept leaving Bunny out on the steps.”

That turned Peggy’s head, “On the steps? He actually left her on the steps?”

“Even went so far as to argue with the Judge that gave him custody to send her away so he wouldn’t have to have legal custody of her right in front of the poor thing before he was sent packing. To actually want to send her off anywhere unknown on the verge of a war to who knows what end how cruel can you get to do that to such a sweet child?” Mamma Brock then huffed feeling herself ready to begin shouting mumbled in a try to keep calm, “I have to go check on my pies,” and joined the others on their way to fetch the food cooked for the block party and her daughters began to list slight after slight that had their hearts sinking for both of their friends.

Including a stop to view the album of Sarah Rogers’ funeral where the guys understood by the captured look on your face just who Bucky was haunted by. The younger sister he encouraged Steve to abandon.

Peggy asked after the album was closed and added to the shelf of funerals of families within the past decade, “I don’t see Steve’s album. There’s one for Bucky.”

Ambrose said, “The Catholic church does not give suicides funeral processions.” That dropped Peggy’s jaw, “Father Thomas only insisted upon giving any words at all over the grave for Bunny’s sake when he knew we knew she was alive and with Eddie.”

Jim Morita, “Where did everyone think she was?”

Gina, “She was assumed to have run off with Eddie, but we clarified she got into a good school in Canada then they got drafted. Until she got shot she was listed as a POW though by the Canadians, we still have the telegrams our cousins received. War offices learned she was with Eddie through the field promotion papers and picture of the planes and tanks she took out first time she got shot.”

Dum Dum Dugan, “Well, I guess in his own way Steve had to have left her something decent for how she’s managed since the war.”

Ambrose’s husband said, “Steve left everything to the church. Even Jaqi’s things, she didn’t have a red cent to her name or home to come back to except for ours. Father Thomas is the one who set up the inheritance to be transferred to us to watch for her.”

Howard from the back of the church had crept forward and asked a question that hurt the group even more than anything they’d heard before that he had to confirm you yourself had told him, “Steve really call her a monster?”

Ambrose, “When he called her anything at all. Barely spoke to her at all unless it was a shout on where her change for food was or eyes were on him from people he wanted respect from.”

Howard, “He pick on people often?”

Gina, “After how his dad treated him and Sarah all he wanted to do was fight, even after she married Jaqi’s dad.”

Howard asked in a look over the albums, “Which one’s her dad’s?”

Ambrose, “Father Thomas gave it to Jaqi, only keeps them a decade. The one for Steve’s dad as well he found tucked away from when Sarah died.”

Howard asked, “Her dad a good man?”

Gina and Ambrose chuckled and the latter’s husband answered, “The pinnacle of perfect father and husband. Never raised a hand to anyone or any creature. Used to call Sarah his Greatest Treasure and Jaqi his fair Queen of the Cosmos, drove Steve up the wall. Worked and saved for his studies and a fund for his girl to study after him at the best schools. Even paid for Steve’s tuition for art classes at the community college.”

Jaques Dernier asked, “How does Bucky fit into this? Why did he hate Bunny? What did he get out of it?”

Gina’s husband answered, “He got Steve’s focus all to himself. Didn’t have much of a home he wanted to go back to at night. Steve wanted an escape and gave Bucky the most devoted buddy he could ask for.” From there the group led the others out to the party where two identically dressed girls with painfully familiar eyes stopped in their way with wide smiles.

“You knew our brother?” Stories of their war hero brother were shared to be confirmed that the guys were stunned they had heard you shared researched bits learned just for them to keep their hero. The new stories the guys shared were adored especially by their mother who in your exit of the church gave you a grin and watched your approach.

She said to the guys in the walk closer in a moment of distraction for the girls, “She’s been so kind to my girls, for how my boy and her brother behaved. Don’t you be rude to her. We owe her that much.”

Howard asked in a step away lowly to meet you before you reached the others, “You haven’t broken the bad news to the girls?”

“I’m not in the business of destroying heroes for little girls. They deserve memories of a brother who loved them and died ensuring they were safe.”

Howard, “How can you stand it, that truth you can’t say?”

“Everyone in town knows who is old enough to. Their cruelty dies with them.”

Bernie and Benji when their friends had called them waved and made their ways to the seats saved for them to share some of the excitement while you stepped forward accepting handshakes and introductions of the group that each of your family nodded in their own naming. Mrs Barnes left soon after to join her own friends to shift the focus of the group back to you.

Marigold, Petal and Teddy however called for food while you focused on the newcomers that joined you at the closest table mainly away from the crowds to the start of the music. “So, you knew Steve and Bucky in uniform, must have left an impression to bring you all out here.”

Gabe said, “Well, they were pretty special, least till we heard about you and Eddie.”

Jim Morita, “You really turned Panzers to marbles?”

“Among other things.”

Howard, “And she’s being stingy on the weaponry. I’ve even been asked to see if I can duplicate it. Magnets however are surprisingly difficult to master.” His eyes looked you over and he said, “How you made it in one piece with magnets that strong I have no clue. Did you know they can cause heart failure when they pass a certain grade?”

“Human body is comprised of iron in the blood, along with other traces of metal throughout the rest of the body, sodium, potassium, magnesium, calcium, vanadium, chromium, manganese, cobalt, nickel, copper, zinc, molybdenum, and cadmium. Part of how x-rays and sonograms work magnetic fields reacting to the body.”

“Not hard to bypass.” Happy Sam Sawyer chuckled out, “Don’t you remember, we heard the soldiers we came across all said they’re aliens.”

That had you smirk and thank the young Brock kids that brought your drinks over then darted off to play again. “Close enough,” you giggled and lifted your drink to take a sip then lowered your hand to the belly that shifted and drew James in a grin of his own to steal a stroke of your belly.

Jaques began the sea of congratulations and Dum Dum asked, “Did you plan on returning to school? You seem due soon.”

“Due closer to summer actually.” Parting his lips in confusion, “Triplets.”

Howard said, “When we’re done here Jarvis has our gifts for you in the trunk.”

“You didn’t have to bring gifts.”

Howard nodded, “Oh yes I did. Down right rude not to. Good thing I buy spares or Peggy’s sharing of the triplets would have left me in a lurch to have enough for all of you.”

“Fine, but it better not have gemstones or anything flashy or you’ll end up wearing it.”

Again he smirked and Dum Dum Dugan asked, “Any clue on what you’re having?”

“Girls,” James answered, “Hopefully just like their mom.”

Eddie said, “My sisters and cousins mostly have boys so when Dawn and I had Marigold they loved the new wave of girls, my sister Ambrose is having a girl too and can’t wait for hers.”

You smirked and said, “She’s really excited to go through this with me. Even debating coming out to Canada when we head back for the summer.”

James Falsworth asked, “Why stay in the city while you are carrying so many babies?”

“My courses.” You said, “I’m going to stick in it as far as I can through this semester. Might work it so I can leave a month early, just over four months, so possibly April to June depending on how impatient the girls are they’ll be showing up and the space and quiet will be better for me have them.”

Peggy, “How strenuous are your classes?”

“Not very, a majority of them are on the same campus and the Professors surely will be as accommodating as they keep trying to assure me they will be.”

Jim Morita asked, “What’s it like, being back here, after everything that happened?”

“I think the oddest thing was how everyone had just taken to the new last name. But I think Mama Brock had something to do with that, not to mention the papers.”

Eddie said, “They knew we needed a new name. I think remodeling Bunny’s home settled everything. Let everyone know she’s home in her own building she bought.”

“Technically-,” you tried to cut in only for Victor to cut you off.

“We bought it for you. Your name is on the lease now and when it’s legal it will be the only one on it.”

Peggy, “The whole house?”

James nodded, “Same with the comics and her bank account and just about anything we’re hoarding for the eventual turn over when we can.”

Howard said, “Might take a while to get there.” Though he smirked at the pointed gazes from the brothers around you mingled with Eddie’s unamused brow tick.

“Be a fairly terrifying time for the Starks of the world for me to have my own empire.”

Howard chuckled and fired back, “Oh no, then I might actually have some competition.”

Dum Dum Dugan asked, “What’d you do with the weapon and suits you built?”

“Well I certainly didn’t bring any weapons back from the war aside from a knife James found for me.”

Gabe, “So, what happens if someone shows up on your doorstep wanting those blueprints?”

“I may be pregnant but I can still throw someone around a room,” making the guys chuckle and Peggy smirk to herself.

From the party to the house again now with the guys the tour continued with each admiring the pictures you had posted from Steve and Bucky’s trips to shows in murals with ticket stubs and autographs.

Peggy’s focus in a glance to the other room however shifted from Eddie’s smile down at his son. Who was faking claws at the air and snarls that had Venom’s face pop out with a toothy proud grin in a lift of the boy he then lowered to kiss in the return of Venom to sink back again, to the trumpet that sat polished on display. That had you ask, “Do you play an instrument?”

Her eyes met yours and she nodded, “Piano, Mummy insisted. Made Michael keep up with his sax.”

Her grin dimmed and you said with a stroke of your hand on her arm, “Boys rarely stick to practice. Steve missed most of his, though about half came by his passing out or rehearsals that triggered his asthma.”

Pinky asked, “Steve really was this scrawny?”

You nodded, “And he hated every minute of it. Eddie and me used to get a chuckle I might have been bigger than he was in his uniforms. Pre-Captain mode that is.” You paused and asked, “He ever sketch anything? While he was over there?”

“Oh,” Happy Sam Sawyer patted his pockets until he brought out a small journal, “Just a few small sketches, the rest is some sort of scribbles we couldn’t make out.”

Opening the book to one of the notes you snapped it shut saying, “It’s a cipher. You need the source book to translate it. Some boys used to take their notes and read them like they were dirty novels even if they were on toast to taunt them for not having a wider circle.”

James Falsworth asked, “Do you know the source?”

“The Hobbit.”

Jaques, “The bedtime story?”

You nodded, “Funnily enough, I gave Steve the book they used to hide in.”

Jim, “Why not translate it?”

“Oh I can read it, and I don’t think Peggy would appreciate the content.”

Peggy paused a moment then asked, “It’s, about me?”

“Yes,” you said and lifted the book a tad, “And by the notes I am guessing he didn’t get as far as he’s writing about. You could very possibly be flexible but I doubt even then his day dream would be plausible.”

Pinky, “Wait, all you did was glance at the page. How could you read and translate it that fast.”

“Photographic memory, and I can read novels in minutes,” you glanced at Peggy saying, “I’ll read the rest later and if there’s anything less imaginative and respectful I’ll write it out for you.”

She shook her head and said, “I doubt there would be anything sentimental in there. Your brother was not overly expressive of his affection until the drive we took to get him on that plane and the radio transmission afterwards, even then, rather simplistic, trade of a promise then static.”

“Well if I do ever find him wandering around in the afterlife I’ll punch him for that. Downright a crime to not woo you properly.” You teased making her smirk your way.

Jarvis upon return from his third trip to the car gave Howard a nod that had him smile and smooth his hands together, “Gift time!”

“Anything with gems-,”

“And I’m wearing them, I remember.” He said with a smirk guiding you to the front room where you eyed the trio of crib kits that by the brand were expensive and had you in an open mouthed gawk at the smiling inventor, “I won’t accept no for an answer. Only the best for the daughters of our greatest asset for this country’s future.”

“Asset?” you asked.

“You know what I mean,” Howard said. “With your help ladies are set to give us old boys a run for our money.”

Victor, “Why’d you buy three cribs? Must have sparked some rumors with that purchase.”

Jarvis said, “Oh, for that I bear the name on that invoice. Sparing Mrs Stark that scrutiny.”

Howard said, “Though she has seen the catalogs and now is considering children with her husband number two.”

James muttered, “Ouch.”

Howard swatted his hand, “I was a means to irritate Daddy. No matter she’s picked a fine replacement more fit for the suit and tie brigade.” He patted his hand on the crib box closest to him, “Paperwork is nearly done as soon as he finalizes on his house she will pack her things and you will have tons of cover headlines to distract from your lovely little parade of geniuses.”

James, “Least you haven’t broken a sweat over it.”

Howard, “Oh we signed a prenup,” he looked between you both and said, “Which I’m certain you both won’t need.”

Victor, “Oh I’ll kill him before so much as a weekend away comes up to think things over.” Howard chuckled and pointed at him assuming it was a joke only making you smirk behind a stroke of your finger along the side of your nose. Though to a bold set of kicks your hand outstretched and landed on Eddie’s bicep and you let out a sharp breath.

“Ok, I need a minute,” you said in a turn that had him guide you to the nearest bathroom.

Howard looked your back over and James drew his gaze by saying, “They kick and her bladder is almost always trapped in the middle. This the one with the side that comes down or the solid wall model?” That had his grin return in James’ move closer to crouch and look over the diagram on the outside of the box that Victor joined him in inspecting, “Oh this one’s nice. Good solid sides won’t take off a finger if it drops like other models.”

Victor, “We can always make a set of steps if it’s too tall so Pipsqueak can reach inside.”

Jarvis, “Would it prove to be too tall we could purchase another set.”

James shook his head, “Nah, no need. She can adapt. Doubt she’d accept the second set.”

Victor, “Or even let you up the stoop with it.”

Howard, “What about Canada, you need a set there.”

James smirked, “We’ve already built a set for home, Jaqi helped with the finer touches but let us cover the basics off our experience for what would be the safest designs.”

Howard said, “Wow, you sound like you’ve been through the whole parenting schtick before.”

He didn’t need the answer in their telling continued silent stares at him till one of the guys smiled and said to you in your return, “Your hubby says it’s a safe model.”

“Even if it wasn’t the guys can easily make some changes in the install. Should be nice, I do like the round half circle top to the ends, could have some nice crochet covers from Gina. Maybe a nice quilt too for the bed the Brocks can fix up for us. One of the cousins do enjoy stuffing them.” You looked to Howard and said, “Thank you, Howard. Now, no more gifts.”

He scoffed at that and rolled his eyes only making Jarvis say, “I will do my best to remind him of that, Mrs Pear Howlett.”

“No jewelry,” you said to Howard as a flat rule that deepened his smirk in your knowing he would find a way to shower funds onto your family he’d now spread a sort of fondness onto even more so upon discovery of the link between you and his major successful project your brother turned out to be.

Dawn broke the circle by calling everyone in for tea that let you all relax in the living room until the group all had to leave with promises to come back again. Though in their absence relief came from not having the presence of questions on your lost brother and the fact that you now could have that much needed pear you had been forced to put off until the lunch that was readied upon the moment of freedom.

Straight on to bed comfort was found in solace lounged in James’ side reading off tidbits from the stack of history books Elliot had been dropping off weekly to guide you by century and culture to feed the growing appetite for reading that your pregnancy was enhancing. Mixed between those were journals from those of the Beserkers who had lived through those times including the few saved items from assumed lost libraries wars had threatened and been recorded to have destroyed. All of which could only aid in the growth of your mind, though every bit of it seemed to be familiar, a notion that pleased both him and Herc that old memories were being tapped of a time when you were present there as well to observe those moments throughout history even with your physical being in hiding.

“Odd,” you muttered in smoothing your hands over your chosen shirt to have been stolen from James’ side of the closet along with his flannels you’d adjusted the hem and waistband to a tie instead of the usual buttons he agreed upon so that you would be comfortable on nights you wanted to wear pants until yours could fit again.

“Odd?” James asked having lit the fire in your bedroom to the sound of the wind outside picking up to cover the street with the thin layer of snow forecast that would enforce the use of Victor’s car that was promised to you to prevent threat of slipping upon travel to Columbia and back again.

In a shake of your head you moved to the bed and folded back the covers, only luring him closer with head tilted slightly to the side. Softly in a sigh you replied mid lift of your leg to kneel on the bed to begin the crawl to the middle, or at least as close to it as possible while still remaining close to the edge in case of bathroom trips. “Power’s gonna go out.”

“Well with the wind like this, not far from imaginable.” His eyes looked over your face in his move closer when you sat down readying to arrange the pillows to perfect the spot for you. “Unless there’s more to it?”

“I can feel it. In the power lines. But the storm isn’t near as bad enough to shut it off. We’ve had worse storms than this.”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s,” you sighed again, “You remember that storm out in Palermo where the lightning kept circling over the ocean and it was so close it had your hair on end?”

He nodded, “So it’s like a static?”

“Something like that. Soft fizzle like soda bubbles travel through the wires. Just odd.”

“Well you won’t be cold, and breakfast will be easily fixed up even without lights.” He said in the motions to help tuck you into the comfy nest that he snuggled closer to your back with a shrug of the blankets higher over you both. “Don’t you worry.”

“Just hope it doesn’t get too cold for Whiskers.”

That had him smirk and settle his head behind yours on the pillow, “Furnace is powered on gas, won’t go out with the electric, same as the cabin. Whiskers will be perfectly warm and thanks to your metal layer inside the walls all our pipes are extra insulated. We won’t let our house go cold.” After a moment his hand covered yours and he hummed, “We all promised to keep him and the puppies warm and safe, we won’t go back on that.”

Mid yawn you started to say, “He has a schedule to keep,” which only had him chuckle to himself and close his eyes to the inch of your body back into his chest.

Pt 53

All –

@sherala007, @mariannetora, @jesgisborne, @knitastically, @catthefearless, @theincaprincess, ggbbhehe4455, @lilith15000,

Not nsfw(smut) - @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore

X Marvel-Cast - @himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @changlingkhat

Brother Dearest - @thorinanddwalinsdwarrowdam, @swoopswishsward

#James Howlett x Reader OC #Eddie Brock x OC #Victor Creed x Norma Jeane #Peggy Carter #Howling Commandos #Howard Stark #Jarvis #Questions Asked #Who really were Steve and Bucky?#Benji & Bernie Barnes

27 notes · View notes

keelywolfe · 3 years

Text

FIC: Welcome to Backwater ch.15 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Stretch is still dealing with the fallout of the last chapter. Like he needs anything else to happen right now?

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Read ‘First Step’ on AO3

Read it here!

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As hot as the days were, these last, lingering sticky days of summer, the nights in Backwater tended to cool off as soon as the sun began to dip below the horizon.

It made for a good time to sit out on the back porch for a quick smoke. Usually only tobacco, Stretch didn’t have Red’s resilience when it came to getting up the next day after smoking his atom bomb version of weed. The last thing he wanted was to give the local kids their first view of an ugly hangover, he’d leave that sort of education for their parents to dole out.

Most of the time, Stretch kept it to one cigarette. His first paycheck was better than he’d expected but it was still wiser to be frugal, so he stuck with his one cig and tried not to think about how that would have pleased his brother. Blue’d been trying to get him to quit for years now and in the past months whenever his bro brought it up, his ex always chimed in with a similar opinion on it, both of them citing statistics as if they were practicing for a damned public service announcement.

Quitting his smokes was something Stretch resisted for no damn good reason other than he didn’t want to quit, thanks, sorry for him trying to adult a little around here. All the nagging did was take the joy out of it and left him smoking out of resentment rather than recreation. Cutting down to one a day was milestone he’d never managed to get to back in Ebott. Not even when the Docs told him it might help with—well.

Anyway, tonight he’d decided to indulge himself; after the day he’d had, he figured he deserved to go through a whole damn pack.

The porch light was a stark, sodium-yellow and the furniture cast strange shadows in it, bones of the true darkness that lay beyond. Stretch sprawled out on the dusty old sofa, blowing lazy smoke rings up at the overhang covering the porch and occasionally tapping ash into the rusty old Maxwell coffee can that Red kept around as an ashtray. The other skeleton had already gone inside, and the living room windows were dark, a pretty big clue that he’d probably already headed off to bed. Early for him, but, eh, Stretch figured he’d had a hell of a day, too, and his guilt over his own involvement in that sat in his chest like a lead brick.

At his feet, the dog curled up in a tight little donut of fluff and Stretch absently pet him with his bare foot, wincing as strands of hair caught in his bony joints. The dog didn’t seem to care about the little yanks and tugs, only huffed out a contented sigh, pushing demandingly into the touch.

“dunno if you deserve pats,” Stretch told him absently. He tried for something resembling stern, though he didn’t stop petting, “you weren’t being too friendly out at edge’s place.”

The dog only snorted and rolled to his side, giving Stretch access to his belly for more rubs.

Stretch hadn’t even realized Red brought the dog along at first. Not until he hauled his bike over to truck bed, still flustered over the almost-could be-kinda-a-something that his boss/landlord’s timely arrival interrupted. Before he could even start heaving the bike in, the dog popped up like a slobbery jack in the box and began attacking Stretch’s face with kisses.

“wha—stop, you shit!” Stretch sputtered, laughing and trying to fend off the dog’s eager advances. The bike was heavier than a normal one and awkward to hold, and between that and the doggy love attack, Stretch lost his grip. The handbars swung into the side of the truck and shrieked their way down in a scrape of metal against metal as it fell, the rest of it finishing off with a loud clang. Not that it did any damage; Red’s truck probably only qualified as one by a technicality, held together by vague hopes, rust, and the liberal use of miles of duct tape.

Behind Stretch, Edge spoke up, “Here, let me help.” But the moment he stepped forward, the dog’s excited wriggling screeched to a halt and morphed into stillness couched with a sudden, unexpected growl.

“woah, hey, boy,” Stretch said with surprised caution. The dog hadn’t even growled when those guys in town were trying to use him as a pinata, too scared, maybe, but Edge wasn’t a threat so why the hell—

A low, deep throated snarl came from behind Stretch and the dog yelped, ducking down into the truck bed, cowering. Stretch whipped around to stare at Edge in disbelief, okay, yeah, that one wasn’t on his bingo card for weird happenings. "did you just growl at my dog?"

Edge only looked back steadily, "You have to assert dominance."

Well, uh, that was…it did seem to work, sort of. The dog chose that moment to abandon ship, scrambling up and wriggling through the little back window that led into the cab to curl up against Red. The moment he was safe, he looked at Stretch and Edge with wounded betrayal, like he hadn’t started it, the little shit.

Good thing the dog didn’t know what the memory of that growl was doing to the inside of Stretch’s pants, (fucking rawr). The pooch would never forgive him.

“quit traumatizing mutt," Red snorted. He ruffled the dog’s ears soothingly and the pup settled, resting his chin on Red’s femur as he looked up with a mournful ‘the big kids are pickin’ on me’ expression. "c'mon, armstrong, let’s hit the road, s’getting dark."

That woke Stretch up from his dual versions of shock and unf!shock. He grunted with the effort of heaving the bike into the truck bed, mumbling a grateful ‘thank you’ when a second pair of strong hands helped out, and he really, really tried not to feel the way Edge was pressed up against his back, a line of warm moving against him as both of them settling the bike securely in. It was only when Edge stepped back and took his fatal distraction with him that something clicked.

Wait. Not the mutt, but—

Stretch stuck his head in through the open window, looking at the skeleton and his dog, who pointedly weren’t looking back. “you named the dog mutt?”

“didn’t name it anything,” Red scoffed. He scruffed the dog, whose name was totally Mutt, gently.

“technicalities won’t save you,” Stretch told him gleefully, “there was a list on the counter, you had options, and you still named the dog…dog.”

That got finally got him a look, or more precisely, a glare. “could always let you walk home.”

That was true. Stretch abandoned ribbing without even getting to pun about it and climbed hastily into the truck. The door hinge squalled when he pulled open the door, flakes of rust falling in a shower as he slammed it shut. No wonder Red didn’t drive around much if this was his primary vehicle, but in the interest of not getting kicked out, Stretch decided it would be for the best to not bring up the rubber banded pile of newspapers Red was sitting on. He definitely wasn’t gonna ask how Red was reaching the pedals.

Edge rounded the truck to Red’s side, briefly outlined in the glare of the headlights. With the remains of the sun at his back, his eye lights were stark in the growing darkness. Bright crimson glaring in at his brother as he stood next to the truck, his arms crossed over his chest. “You could always come in for coffee.”

It wasn’t a question and Red didn’t answer it. “tell the kid i said hi.”

Edge replied tartly. “Tell them yourself.”

“heh.” A strange laugh, humorless and somehow still tinged with amusement. “see ya around, bro.”

Yeah, there was some kind of story there, all right, and Stretch was the guy who waited too long at the concession stand and came into the play during Act 3.

There was only one person who might give him any answers, since two-thirds of the people involved already turned him down and it was the same guy who didn’t even give Edge a chance to say goodbye, only threw the truck into reverse and with a clumsy three-point turn that barely avoided any of the flowerbeds, they were headed back down path that led to town, out of the woods.

The ride back wasn’t exactly quiet, the bumpy road and rattling complaints of the truck took care of that. But it was wordless, for a while. Until they got closer to the main road and the bumps smoothed out a little, droning hum of tires on asphalt an invitation.

“red—” Stretch started, slowly. He wasn’t even sure what he was gonna say yet, uncertain if he really wanted any other revelations tonight. He was feeling a little epiphanied out.

Red only sighed deeply, “pretty sure you, the kid, and my bro had a helluva chat, you sure you really wanna talk to me about it now?”

No. Yes. “maybe?”

The newspapers under him made a dry shuffling sound as Red shifted his weight to change gears. “one question, kid, that’s all i got answers for. choose wisely.”

Great, now he was on an impromptu grail quest.

Stretch hesitated over his options; there were so many, how could he pick only one? Like, why didn’t Red live with Edge and Frisk, why had he refused to even go into the house, and what the hell was up with Edge being so salty about it? Hell, there were deeper question than that, if he wanted to dig. How had they gotten out of their Underground to here, what happened to Red’s leg, so many whats and wheres and whys.

A look at Red showed he was grinding his teeth, his crimson eye lights focused solely on the road and at the end of the day, there was only one question Stretch really needed an answer to tonight, for reasons he desperately didn’t want to talk about.

He ran his tongue over his teeth nervously, looking down at his hands in his lap rather than the passing blur of road in the headlights out the windshield. “you knew who i was when you first saw me here, didn’t you. edge said you watched the tv when we first came to the surface.”

The joints in his hands creaked as they went tight on the steering wheel and Red exhaled with weary slowness. “yeah, i knew.” He slanted a brief glance at Stretch, eye lights flicking between him and the road. “gave me a hell of a start, don’t mind tellin’ ya. you were busy chasin’ beer cans and didn’t notice me almost fallin’ on my ass.”

“that’s why you helped me, isn’t it, when i first came to town?” The accusation that Red was ‘adopted’ him because he looked like Edge stung, but it was true enough, wasn’t it. Someone with his kid brother’s face, someone to feed and clothe and take care of, like he couldn’t with his own bro for whatever their secret reasons were. Like he was a fucking pet, another dog, woof woof, and the care that seemed so genuine that morning felt suddenly tainted, as stifling as his own brother’s.

“heh,” Red’s mouth twisted into a sneering smile, “kid, come on.”

Stretch said nothing. He could see the neon sign from ‘The Whistling Cow’ slowly approaching, looming closer, blurring in his vision and there was no subtle way to wipe at his sockets, he could only do it quickly and hope it wasn’t noticed.

A failed hope, like most. Red made an impatient sound, loud enough that the dog sleeping his lap stirred, then he said roughly. “yeah, okay, you reminded me some of my little brother, but that ain’t why i let you stay.”

Let it go, let it go, Elsa, you don’t have anywhere else to go. “then why?”

“‘cause i like ya, that’s why!” Red snarled. His ever-present grin curled into a grimace, tight and strained, each word as sharp as one of his jagged teeth. “been rattling around alone in this old shop for awhile now. been kinda nice to have someone underfoot, since i ain’t got goddamn feet. good enough?”

“yes,” Stretch admitted, a threadbare little word. It was, helped ease some of the pained tightness surrounding his soul to know that Red wasn’t simply another person who wanted to be around him not out of friendship, but mere circumstance. He’d had plenty of that in his life and all it left him with was an empty contact list on his phone and an emptier ache in his soul.

He startled at a hand awkwardly touching his own, bony fingers briefly squeezing before they withdrew. “stretch? you and my bro ain’t nothin’ alike. c’n trust me on that much.”

“is that good or bad,” Stretch couldn’t help asking. He thought of the little borrowed room he was sleeping in at night, his part time job hawking groceries, of Edge’s home in the woods with its beautiful gardens and delicious meals.

Red shrugged. He turned the wheel, guiding the truck into a parking spot that was nearly hidden on the other side of the shop. “beats the fuck out of me, just is, and it don’t matter, anyway. don’t care what the charts and graphs and shit say, ain’t no reason to compare ya. ya ain’t the same person. you’re you and bein’ you should be good enough for anyone.”

The engine ticked slowly as it cooled and Stretch thought of the way their landlord back in Ebott kept mistaking him for Papyrus, of getting bitched at once for a window he hadn’t broken or thanked for muffins he hadn’t brought. Not anybody or nobody, only himself, at least here in Backwater. “thanks.”

“s’fine,” Red grunted. “just don’t forget i ain’t your bro.”

“oh, fuck, no,” Stretch blurted out. He winced as he realized how that sounded. “i mean, you’re more like a mom, anyway.”

“heh,” That laugh was more a little more genuine, not much, but it was something. “fuck you.”

“nah, that wasn’t in the rental agreement.”

“and thank the fucking angel for that.” With a groan of hinges and a slam of the door, Red got out of the truck, the dog at his heels. He didn’t turn back to see if Stretch was with him, only went as fast as he could, cane swishing at his side as he practically ran into the house, the screen door banging shut behind him.

Stretch followed more slowly, stopping off at the porch and that was where he stayed, thinking about having a cigarette and not at all about giving Red some time to himself after having the asshole he was trying to help question his motives, exactly like an asshole would.

Mutt hesitated, debating for a minute over choosing between them before finally decided that Stretch was the victor, and whether or not that was because he thought Stretch needed watching over more didn’t matter. Stretch appreciated the company, anyway.

That left him here, smoking and watching moths flutter suicidally close around the porch light.

Stretch dropped a used butt into the coffee can and debated lighting another. On one hand, he was starting to feel a little nauseous from so much smoking, on the other, he sort of wanted to feel nauseous. Wanted to feel something that he could name.

What was the proper term for how to feel when you were living in a weird town with alternate version of yourself and your bro, which, by the way, one out of the two has been crawling up your top ten list of spank bank partners? If there was a definition for it, it was gonna take more than a quick google search to ferret it out.

He still hadn’t decided whether or not to light another when at his feet, the dog suddenly lifted his head, ears perking up.

“what is it, boy?” Stretch leaned up on his elbow, squinting out into the darkness outside the protective ring of porch light. “if this is about a kid in a well, you can tell timmy he’ll have to wait, this is not a good time—hey!”

A threatening line of fur rose up on the dog’s back as he let out a low, deep woof, nothing like the little growl at Edge earlier. Before Stretch could grab for him, Mutt was scrambling to his feet. He leapt off the porch and ran off into the night, fuck, in the direction of the forest.

“hey, wait! no, no, no, damn it!” Stretch shoved his feet into his shoes, wincing at the friction and almost immediately tripping over the laces. “not that way!”

There was barely time to hope he didn’t break his damn leg as he chased after the dog, following the little puff of whiteness through the dark as he tried not to go facefirst into anything. It was sheer luck there weren’t many obstacles in the path; town was in the opposite direction and there was nothing much behind the shop but parched earth and dead grass. Right up until the edge of the woods where saplings rose up in clusters, little ponds of greenery that led to the ocean of trees and that was where Stretch skidded to a halt, watching helplessly as that patch of white disappeared into the darkness.

Yeah, okay, he wasn’t about to go in the woods, ignoring warnings around this place was bad for life expectancy and Stretch wasn’t the kind of guy who’d feed weird critters after midnight.

“fuck, fuck,” Stretch muttered under his breath, pacing right outside the treeline and slapping away any sapling that tried to get in his way as he wracked his brain for what the hell he could do now.

Maybe if he stood outside and shouted at the damn mutt, he’d at least have something to follow back out. He wasn’t sure there was much else he could do, the townsfolk were nice, but he didn’t think asking them out for a midnight search party for a dog would go over very well.

Overhead, the bloated circle of the moon faded in and out from behind the clouds. He didn’t even have his phone, it was still in his bag on the porch, safely beneath that splash of light that seemed so far away now. Stretch dug into his pocket for his lighter, the rasp loud over the faint rustling of leaves overhead. It flared to life and the tiny flame barely illuminating the space around him, but it was better than nothing.

“mutt?” Stretch called tentatively, then more coaxingly, “c’mon boy, come back out!” He tried a few iterations of that with increasingly sappy endearments, feeling as stupid as he had when he’d tried them on his ex. The dog responded about as well, stubbornly refusing to bow to any version of baby, sweetums, or snooky that Stretch tried.

“damn it all to hell,” Stretch cursed softly. First, he’d gotten caught nearly macking on Red’s little brother when he’d said he wouldn’t, not a broken promise but still, then he’d blunder into giving Red’s traumas a quick poke, and now he’d lost the dog that he’d only just gotten for Red. He was obviously already pretty attached to the so-named Mutt and after hearing him vague about how he’d been lonely, it wasn’t much of a surprise.

But going into the woods after him felt a hell of a lot like making a bad situation worse.

Stretch sighed heavily. Nope, better not to chance it. Maybe if he brought out a bowl of food, the dumb mutt would smell it and head for home and—wait.

…what was that? Stretch tipped his head to the side, straining to listen.

He hadn’t really even notice that soft sound at its beginning, the soft lilt of a melody winding its way through branches and leaves out of the woods, a song he almost but didn’t quite know. It was the seductive peal of a silver laugh of delight, it was the delicate caress of the wind, the chuckling burble of a cool stream pouring invitingly over smooth rocks, and the intangible caress of unearthly desires

It was the alluring sweetness of a siren, the song of a temptress calling one who was no sailor into a dry sea and doom.

His vision was cast into paleness like the bloom of the moonlight, filling him to the brim until nothing was left within but that endless song. Without a single thought of his own left crowded in amongst the tangled notes in his head taking mastery over him, Stretch took his first dazed step into the woods.

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #underfell sans #welcome to backwater

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

Note

18 19 20 27 28 from the protag questions <3

Ooooo! Lots of goodies! o3o You all spoil me~! X3

Thank you so much! Let's get into it! >:D

18. What is the biggest similarity between your protagonists?

Grey morality. PFFFFT!

I'm serious. I have a habit of creating characters that have questionable methods to situations, but yet can be empathized with or even sympathized with. Fane, Rylen, and Elise all do what they have to do, and it's up to the audience to formulate whether or not they agree or disagree with their personalities and actions.

I'll say this once because I've had people in the past kind of...bash me for it, but just because your character has a specific view does not necessarily mean you as the creator share that same view. That isn't me throwing swings out at self-inserts or characters that are reflections of their creators, this is just how I feel in response to my own characters. I try to disconnect from my characters because I want them to be their own. I build the foundation, give them a name, a history, or a family to influence them, but I don't steer their minds, their decisions. They flow the way they want to flow. Simple as that. Fane is the OC that is most reflective of me, but not with everything. He has his own methods, own reasons for thinking the way that he does and so do I.

I think it has a lot of my fixation on making characters teeter has to do with how I interact with the world in real life. I just...don't see black and white. I give everything the benefit of the doubt and I hold my ground concerning my views even if others might see them as 'wrong' or 'controversial'. I'm horribly analytical and I'm always like, 'But what if...'. That's just...me. XD

But yeah! Grey characters are my vice and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right most of the time, but I try! :3

19. What is the biggest difference between your protagonists?

Mainly how they approach situations and their feelings surrounding leadership.

Fane is rash, doesn't plan, doesn't think everything through before acting or he just outright chooses not to. He tends to make decisions on his own, but mainly only in battle. In more diplomatic settings, Fane is the master of deferral. XD He divvies out tasks that he feels aren't his area from either a lack of interest, a lack of confidence in himself, or just feeling that someone else would be the better option.

Rylen has his moments of brashness, but he's pretty subdued, go with the flow type of deal, but most who know him intimately know he's pretty high strung when it comes to matters where his voice has power. Man's a ball of stress and anxiety. PFFT!

Elise is the calmest out of the three. It was practically trained into her in the Circle. She's also just inherently docile, but after the Blight she does have moments of being feral and unhinged. That mostly happens if one of her companions are in danger or if her own life is threatened. She's not afraid to make her voice heard, either. Generally, Elise is soft spoken, but she will stand up for herself and other people, despite the grief it could cause her.

20. Who handles responsibility the best? And who handles it the worst?

If Fane puts his mind to it, he can handle responsibility pretty well. His want to involve himself deeply in matters doesn't happen until after Adamant and only gets stronger and stronger after Trespasser. Fane is a force when he wants to be and Solas tries to draw that out, to make him realize he can do whatever he puts his mind to. However, Elise would be the best in terms of responsibility. She had a lot in the Circle, even more during the Blight, and a substantial amount as Warden-Commander. Does she wish she could rest? Of course! But she doesn't complain because she knows she can make change. Rylen's okay with responsibility; he becomes Viscount after all. But, he is prone to slacking off at times, but really only after the Chantry explosion. The guy is TIRED. What can I say? XD

All in all, none of them bad at handling responsibility. They just have different ways that they go about it! :D

27. What would their fears on the graves in the fade during Here Lies The Abyss be?

Yes, yes, yes, YES! The question! The big question! The question that leads to Fane and Solas' first kiss! AHAHAHAH! >:D

Elise - Betrayal. This is more in terms of Elise towards herself and her own actions. She's afraid that everything she's ever done has been one great betrayal to everyone and everything she has ever cared about. She had no choice but to witness Jowan become Tranquil, Alistair, so hurt and angered by her decision at the Landsmeet, abandoned her to face the possibility of the death alone, her faith was sundered after the Broken Circle, making her fear her magic for the first time in her life and making her wonder when she would become the very monsters she had just finished killing. The list goes on. Elise made so many decisions in service to the world, but she silently wonders when it'll all come crashing down around her, when everyone will leave her because they'd been betrayed.

Rylen - Wasn't enough. Rylen wrestles constantly with the fact that he's never been strong enough. He wasn't strong enough for Carver; the ogre ripping him from their family and pounding into pulp. He wasn't strong enough for Bethany; unable to protect her from the templars, so he opted to take her to the Deep Roads, thinking it would be safer, but it wasn't. He wasn't strong enough for his mother; his eyes focused on the horizon rather than the ground that began it all.

And he hadn't been strong enough to end Corypheus for good. We all know what happened wasn't Hawke's fault, but Rylen the master of blaming himself for everything, so that's one event he dwells about every. day. every. night.

Last, but not least, FANE. *sounds the horns* You ready? You ready?! >:D

Fane - To be forgotten. That's right.

That's Fane's biggest, deepest fear; to be forgotten. I know there's only been a few chapters of my main fic that kind of reference this, but you know how Fane constantly says to himself, 'I wish I could be forgotten. It would be better if I would just disappear and be forgotten.'? Yeah, it's a front. He's trying to convince himself that that's what he wants, but in actuality, it's reversed. He's terrified, terrified of being forgotten by the world, by his sister, by the Inquisition...

...by Solas. That's the worst person who could forget Fane. And around the time of Adamant, Solas and Fane being the stubborn fools that they are, act as if they haven't known each other for fucking centuries even though the truth literally screamed at them after Haven. They were lost together in the mountains with that truth hanging between them, and still they ignored it because it hurt and they both felt they didn't deserve the hope that they could be together. Fane attempts to unearth some lost memories, some lingering feelings, but Solas wasn't ready and guided them away from that unopened bag, refusing to let Fane in on his agenda or allowing him to help in any way. It gets to a point where Fane starts to believe Solas doesn't actually recall their relationship, who he is and he spirals pretty bad in the Raw Fade when that tombstone is glaring at him.

When Solas sees it...he cracks. Quietly, in his mind, but he realizes how stupid he'd been, how stupid they had been. The truth was looking at him in two tones and he ignored it out of fear. It's what spurs Solas to take Fane into the Fade and show his dragon the place where he had endeavored to make sure the other would never be forgotten. Solas also makes it clear that he had never forgot Fane, ever.

"I could never forget you, my dragon. Your memory lingered within the halls of my mind even as I slumbered. I am but a fool, a fearful fool. I thought it kinder to let you live a new life, unburdened by my burdens. I do not wish for the past to repeat itself, to see two tones ebb away and breath leave your lungs once more.", Solas said, eyes downcast, pained grimace housing sorrow, grief, and despair in its curves. "...But, it is not kinder. It is more agonizing to try and forget than it is to remember. Though, I have never tried to erase you from my memory nor have I tried to abandon what I felt for you--what I feel for you.'

Fane frowned, tugging on the mage's forearms to bring him closer, urgently, but timidly; Solas didn't even protest, but his eyes remained downcast. "What do you feel, Solas?", he asked and received no answer. "What do you feel, Solas?! What can't you forget?!", he repeated, voice echoing off the halls of death and remembrance. He needed these words, he needed to know!

What did the sky feel?! What did it remember?! He just wanted one damned answer in this upside down world!

Solas' eyes shut slowly, chest rising with a deep inhale. "I..", he started, but paused again, face twitching with hesitance and reservation. "No, it's not--!"

Fane growled low. "Enough! If you won't tell me,", he barked, yanking Solas forward by his arms, barely registering the grunt of surprise that left his lips, and shot his hands up to hold a bewildered face. "...then show me!"

I tease~ >:3

-----

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

I answered this ooooonnnneee HERE! >:D (I would just copy and paste, but it LONG. ADHDKS)

And there we have it! Beautiful! Perfect! And FUN! X3

#asks #ask #dragon age #oc: fane lavellan #oc: elise amell #oc: rylen hawke #woo! all asks answered! :3 #these were a lot of fun! the questions were different and interesting too! X3 #thank you so much again! <3 #guys i drabbled again #this is how i get my inspiration surprisingly enough #i just have a lot of solavellan feels and it's only doubly with fane and solas ;3;#solavellan

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pandoraborn · 3 years

Text

Cruelty of the Beast - Part 11

( previous. )

Characters: c!Dream, c!Tommy, c!Techno, c!Phil Word count: 2398 words Content: hostages, kidnapping, manipulation mention, brainwashing mention, betrayal, acceptance, bonding,

-----

“I don’t understand, why couldn’t I have gone with Wilbur?” Tommy grips the crossbow tightly as he follows Dream. He looks back over his shoulder as the portal they’d come through is washed out by the falling snow. He doesn’t like where he is, he doesn’t like where they’re going, and he especially doesn’t like that he and Ranboo have been separated again.

“Because yours and Ranboo’s little stunt set us back, and we don’t have time to gather what we need, so we’re going to get help,” comes Dream’s curt reply.

Above all else, Tommy really doesn’t care for how snarky the man is.

He’s coming to accept that Dream is a man, slowly. He’s coming to accept that the tall, blond man is not a god, just a pathetic loser who’d dabbled in powers he shouldn’t have been messing with. With this mindset, Tommy can almost tolerate him. Without his mask, he looks no more intimidating than Tubbo.

They’re both armed with crossbows and heavy jackets. Tommy’s hair is now almost as long as Dream’s, and both have their hair pulled back in tight ponytails. It had been Wilbur’s idea. The idea of them looking similar doesn’t disgust Tommy as much as it should; maybe he’s grown too used to being around Dream.

“By help, you mean we’re taking hostages,” Tommy replies. “This isn’t a good idea, they could easily kill us.”

Dream stops, turning around to face Tommy. There’s a tight-lipped smile on his face, and his eyes crinkle with amusement. “Tommy, why on earth would they kill us? They like us, remember?”

“You. They like you,” Tommy corrects. “They made it rather clear they detest me.”

Dream snorts. “Everyone always says they hate someone, but deep down inside, we all cherish the moments when we were all friends.”

“If you’re talking about you and me, I was never your friend. I was always your toy.” Tommy scowls. “You say you’re okay with me hating you, but you never actually address why that is.”

Dream seems to study him for a moment. The grin fades, and his eyes droop. Tommy can’t tell what that expression means, but Dream’s turning away again, head bowing forward. He starts walking again, with Tommy hurrying to keep up.

“I made mistakes, Tommy. I made a lot of mistakes that I regret. You were one of them.”

“I’m not anyone’s toy, you know.” Tommy lowers the crossbow, tapping his fingers against the wood. “Not yours, not even Wilbur’s. I’m my own man, and I deserved way better than anyone gave me.”

“You did. I can say all I want that it was yours and Ranboo’s stunt that got us in this position, but really, I just wanted to get a moment alone with you. Wilbur’s had you on a leash.”

His hand snakes out and grips Dream’s jacket, yanking firmly. Fingers grip the man hard enough that his hand starts to ache. Tommy glares at Dream, bottom lip trembling. “Let me repeat myself, Clay. I’m not anyone’s toy. I’m not attached to anyone’s fucking leash. If you had trouble getting me away from Wilbur, it was because I wanted to stay by his side, because he’s more safe than you are.”

“Let go of me.”

“No, I want you to fucking listen to me for once. I have had it with being used and manipulated. I am so sick and tired of being everyone’s pawn in whatever game you’re all playing. Don’t think for a second that any of you are using me. I’m with Wilbur and Ranboo because I want to be. I could have run off at any time I wanted, and none of you could’ve stopped me. I want to end whatever miserable existence I have because I’m tired.”

“Tommy-”

Tommy lets go of the jacket, but he’s grabbing at Dream’s wrist next to hold him in place. “And maybe you’re right, I don’t actually hate you. I hate what you’ve become though. Arrogant, maniacal, playing around with death and life like it also is your personal toy.

”I’ll accept a dragon, I’ll accept this apocalypse you’re all planning. Maybe deep down inside, I want it too. Not because I hate the world, but because I have nothing left to live for, and that’s all your fault.” With those words, he turns and marches toward the tundra cabin he’s starting to loathe.

“I never meant to break you.”

“Yeah, well, you did. Over and over again. I think I’ve suffered enough, don’t you think?”

“That’s why we want this. None of us are whole anymore.” Dream’s voice is barely a whisper against the rising wind. The snow is falling harder, turning Tommy’s ears red and numb with cold. He can see his breath more vividly, and a part of him wonders if this is just a sign of what’s to come.

He’s about to massively betray Technoblade and Philza.

“You get it though, don’t you?” Dream continues. “Wilbur lost himself to paranoia, Ranboo lost himself to forgotten memories, I lost myself to hubris and you...”

“I’m still lost,” Tommy replies. “It’s a neverending cycle of pain and hurt and betrayal. I’m just cementing the opinion that I’m the bad guy in everyone’s minds.” He nods in the direction of the cabin. “If he threatens me-”

“Then I’ll protect you.”

It’s not something he’d expected to hear from Dream. He still hasn’t heard any sort of apology, just more excuses. But he’s starting to see Dream in a new light. Minutes ago he’d been coming to terms with the fact that Dream is only a man, but now he wonders if he’d been too clouded by his own pain to really see Dream.

Or maybe he’s just growing stupid because of the cold.

Snorting, Tommy shakes his head. “I have a crossbow, I don’t need your help. Thanks for the offer, but your ‘protection’ is why we’re here to begin with.”

“It was you and Ranboo drugging us that brought us here. You both could have just asked, you know.” Dream laughs. “I wouldn’t have said no.”

“Well I guess Ranboo doesn’t trust you either then,” Tommy chirps. A grin spreads across his face when Dream stumbles forward, swearing under his breath. He catches himself and continues walking until the cabin is appearing in their view.

“I know you want to hear an ‘I’m sorry’,” Dream says, reaching back to grip Tommy’s shoulder. “But that wouldn’t make up for everything that happened. “So here’s what I’m going to do instead: I’m going to make sure we make it out of this in one piece and unharmed. We just need temporary help. Now go up there and-”

“Wait, you’re not coming with me?” Tommy jerks back. “You’re seriously going to make me talk to them alone?”

“You want to prove yourself to Wilbur, don’t you?”

“We just had this conversation about manipulation,” Tommy growls. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m not manipulating you. I’m asking you a genuine question, since you’re so attached to your brother. Do you want to prove you can do this? Because if you don’t want this, you can go back to the taiga and prepare the tnt with the others, I can do this on my own.”

He stares for a moment. That offer does sound tempting, but so does seeing Techno. It won’t be on the best terms, but...

Standing up for himself is outweighing everything else.

“Alright, so what exactly do we need from them?”

“Them. Their supplies.”

“Great.” Tommy rolls his eyes as he brushes snow off his face. “More kidnapping. As if kidnapping me wasn’t enough.”

“You were more or less willing. I promise Phil and Techno won’t be. Which is why I gave you a weapon. Can you do this or do you want to head back?”

“No, I’ll do it.” He grips the crossbow tightly again and marches forward, leaving Dream behind, next to a tree. He’s trembling with anxiety, but he can’t back down now. Everything over the past several days had been leading up to him betraying people for some dragon.

Gods, that dragon had been cool, though.

Knocking on the door, he fidgets in place while waiting for a response, It comes seconds later in the form of Phil answering the door. Phil looks surprised to see Tommy aiming the crossbow at him.

“What are you doing?” Phil asks, stepping back.

“Hi Phil.” Tommy tries to keep his voice casual. It doesn’t work, as it cracks. “Miss me?”

“Word on the street is you’ve been kidnapped,” Phil says. “By Wilbur. How is he alive? How are you alive? We all thought you were dead.”

“I was,” Tommy says. “Then I was alive again, with Wilbur. Thanks to Dream.”

“Phil? What’s happening, who are you talking t-” Techno’s voice comes from above. There’s the sound of footsteps on a ladder before the pig’s feet come into view, followed by the rest of him. “Tommy?”

“Hey, Techno.” Tommy’s trying really hard now not to falter. Part of him wants to rush into Techno’s arms for a hug, but he remains rooted in place. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“What are you doing?” Techno asks. “Put that down!”

“No. In fact, I want you both to come with me,” he continues. “Actually, I want you to pack all your things up first, then come with me.”

“He said something about Dream,” Philza explains to Techno. The pig nods as if he understands, then shakes his head.

“No, Tommy was dead. He’s supposed to be dead. You’re supposed to be dead, along with Wilbur. How are you here? Where’s Wilbur? Why are you showing up with a crossbow?”

“Things have changed,” Tommy mutters, looking down. He’s losing his resolve; he can’t actually do this. He cares about them too much. “Things are so much different than before, and I can’t tell you what, but you just have to trust-”

“Trust you?” Phil laughs. “We did trust you once, until you turned your back on Techno. Now you show up after being dead, or kidnapped, aiming a crossbow at us, and you expect us to believe anything you have to say? You know better, Tommy. You’re supposed to be better.”

“I do know better!” Tommy snaps. “I know better than anyone what shit feels like, alright? That’s why I’m here, because you two are the most well-stocked people around, you have more shit that could be useful for us to do something big.”

“Tommy.” Techno’s voice is softer than Phil’s. “Tommy, put the crossbow down and come inside. We can talk about this, we can go over everything, and maybe-”

“I’m afraid he can’t do that.” There’s a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. The teen flinches when he realizes Dream had finally stepped in. “See, Techno, Phil? He’s with me.”

Oh.

For a few seconds, not even the winds are heard over the deafening silence. Tommy can see the way Techno is trying to work out the statement and what it actually means. There’s confusion, followed by anger, followed by resignation. The last expression hurts the most, because it means there really is no going back and fixing things.

“You’re calling in that favor, aren’t you?” Techno asks. “You’re using Tommy to get me to comply.”

The warning shot is fired in between the two men in the doorway, hitting a far wall. Everyone jumps before turning to stare at Tommy in shock over his sudden action. “Let’s get one thing straight,” Tommy practically yells. “I’m no one’s, no one’s fucking pawn anymore! Everyone can shit on me all they want, but I’m finally taking my life back! For once I’m where I want to be, and no one can stop me!”

Techno and Phil hold their arms up at the same time, stepping back to give room for the other pair to enter the cabin. “Okay, okay,” Phil says softly. “What do you need from us, how are we helping?”

“Depends, you want to see Wilbur again, don’t you?” Dream is back to looking confident. “Wilbur’s in great condition, by the way. He’s actually the one calling all the shots, so if you have a problem with our current venture, you can file a complaint with him.”

“Do you have them brainwashed?” Leave it to Techno to be blunt.

“No. In fact, Tommy was bitching at me the whole way here,” Dream chirps, ruffling Tommy’s hair. “He’s been doing nothing but tell me I’m an awful person for days. He really meant it when he said he likes it with us.”

“If you’re in trouble, blink twice,” Techno faces Tommy. There’s a grimace on his face, as if he’s trying to smile, but it’s not quite working. “I’m serious, we’ve got ender pearls and swords and so many other things, we can slay him-”

“Don’t touch Dream,” the teen instructs. “He’s on his last life, remember?” The crossbow is waved toward the chests. “But we do want the ender pearls and weapons and potion ingredients.” Tommy smiles sweetly. “And you two, of course. And food.”

There’s no more snark. Phil and Techno are packing silently, moving up and down ladders and throwing everything they can hold into sacks and backpacks. Tommy watches them for a moment before turning back to Dream.

“I feel like shit,” Tommy admits.

“Yeah, me too.” Dream presses his hand to Tommy’s shoulder again as they head back outside. “I like Techno. But some things have to be done.”

“Does being a villain get any easier? Like, do you get used to it?”

“Honestly? No. It’s always shit. Especially when you have attachments and can’t fully get rid of them. I tried, but I just really wanted to pretend I wasn’t hurting the people I loved.”

“Cause I still love them,” Tommy mumbles. “And I’m hurting them.”

“It’ll get better soon, I promise.”

Phil and Techno eventually come outside. They stare at each other before moving foward, falling into step behind Tommy and Dream. There’s a heavy silence weighing in between all of them as they move back toward the portal.

“Oh, Tommy?” Dream breaks the silence.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, for everything.”

Tommy nods, liffting one foot to rest against the edge of the portal. He turns away from the swirling purple to give Dream a genuine smile. His first one aimed at Dream, in months.

“I know. Thank you.”

15 notes · View notes

kkulmoon · 4 years

Text

SUGAR & SALT |”In the winter things brew”(1)

— pairings: a friend of a friend/ rich boy!kim taehyung x baker!reader (f) + park jimin x named OC & kim seokjin x named OC

(appearances by other idols, to be announced when appropriate)

— genre: angst (?), romance, smut (later chapters), slow burn, fluff (occasional)

— word count : 5,197 words

— warnings/content: enemies to lovers (?), slice of life, unrequited love, discrimination (later on), religion (writing about very lightly, so some may take offence), countryside-ish au,

— synopsis: You're a small town baker, whose business is on the line following questionable decisions made by your town's political board. You decide to take action in order to salvage your reputation as the town's favourite baker.

What you didn't expect was to fight for your precious secular life that keeps being invaded by the best friend of the owner of your rivalling bakery, Taehyung. He also happens to be the one in charge of your lack sugar, due to a minor (depending on the point of view) mistake, though he's known as quite the conscientious count.

You're a baker.

A bad one, it seems. Even with Taehyung, Jimin, Seokjin and Ada, the finest products and tools at your disposal, you seem to cook up a disappointing dish. So whose fault is it really?

☁︎ next chapter ☁︎

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You and your roommate, Ada, just arrived at the ski resort. Scraping sounds resound as you drag your luggages and clump them by your respective beds. It's now officially year seven of "Vacation for those with low earning reports", which meant visiting your local (almost) ski resort in Punniton for the seventh year in a row. The first one happened back in your first year of high school after you wanted to feel independent which lead you to meet your best friend, Ada, and planning what turned out to be the most unplanned trip of your life but you still made it. You managed to go and come back and that's what counted.

"Soooo I want to go and check the slopes but I know how you much you like your afternoon nap, so I'll leave you to it." Ada says riffling through her bag for her skiing pants.

You just hum in response, already liking the firmness of the mattress. Though it has been seven years in a row, going to the same resort every winter break, you still adopted your same mundane routine. You change into a cosy fit, and make your way to the lobby to take a look at the restaurant. While you did like skiing, you particularly liked food, so to you, bad food meant a bad vacation. You make a quick beeline for the pastry section and let your eyes get inspired by the plethora of new-age and classic pastries. One of the other reasons you visited the resort each year was to scout any new pastries that you could debut back at home, in the bakery. Punniton's ski resort was known for providing a variety of pastries for its international guests.

So yes, while you did go for skiing the first two years, the remaining five where simply to spark your creative juices in the kitchen, but that's something only you needed to know. Looking at the display had your mouth watering like a Pavlovian dog. One piece before your nap wouldn't hurt, right?

"Could I have a-" you say.

"Could I have a-" another voice echos beside you.

You turn to your side.

"Oh!" the more than familiar male exclaims.

"Woahhhh, Jimin?! like for real, THE Park Jimin!" You lunge at him, wrapping your arms around him.

You feel the vibrations from his chest as his laugh fills your ears. You take a step back, making a thorough examination of your more than dazzling former high school dance partner. You're happy to see that not much has changed, at least not on the outside but he seems to carry an even brighter aura around him.

"Hmmm yeah, it's just me," he says sporting his smug face, one that has had you cheesing ever since you met him for the first time in tenth grade.

His eyes soften and performer Jimin takes the backseat as he asks, "How have you been? It's been a hot minute."

You think back to your high school days and remember Park Jimin before he became Park Jimin. He would squeeze in dance practice before classes started. His weekends were spend in one room, the kind with mirrors and his eyes where always set, burning with passion to make it. With your unassuming character you genuinely thought that someone so ambitious would end up corrupted. You couldn't have been more wrong. Jimin had made it, he was standing right in front of you and it felt like you just left dance practice back in high school and you were on your way to get a bite.

"Good, thanks! But I am feeling a lot better now," you can't help the smile that is plastered on your face, Jimin has always had that effect. "I am still working at the bakery..." you glance at him and you are happy to see that his interest hasn't flattered unlike others, "and I'm head chef now and get to choose what the bakery sells!"

"That's nice to hear Y/N," Jimin says taking an apprehensive look at Y/N.

While Y/N was never one to dream, she still had hopes and fantasies. Something she never knew that Jimin was aware of . Back in twelfth grade, before graduation, Jimin accidentally came across Y/N's recipe log for the bakery. Between the ending pages she had sketched a drawing for a shop sign, specifically a sign for a bakery , on it written "Sugar".

Jimin sighs, shakes his head and asks, "Anyways, to what do I owe the pleasure?" You simply smirk at him.

"No way! You are still doing that???" You nod. "With Ada?" You nod harder as your eyes crinkles.

"I don't know whether to find that sad or cute," Jimin says to which you swat his arm repeatedly as you glare at him.

"Ohhh I see, just cause you became a big city dancer, now you're too good for our cheap breaks, uh?" You stare at him questioningly. Jimin is just about to answer as you raise your hand," Let me just remind you, Mister Park, that you were a part of this the first three years."

Jimin simply answers, "A very proud participant at that," and now it's your turn to look at him with soft eyes.

You look back at the cashier by the counter, " Could I have two slices of the Banoffee pie, please?" You and Jimin glance at each other .

Back when it was the three of you (Ada, Jimin and you), the first food you ate together at the resort was always Banoffee pie. This happened after you found out you all had a bit of an obsession with cream.

Jimin forcibly pays for the pies as you look for a place for the two of you. While Jimin goes to the bathroom and to fetch the cutlery, you sneak a message to Ada.

[17:15] guess who I just bumped into?

[17:16] sweetie 💖really, you know I don't like guessing games ?

[17:17] you don't, expect when it comes to _______ ?

[17:18] sweetie 💖To who?????

[17:19] you're no fun :(

[17.20]Here are some hints: dance, blonde, high school 👀?

[17:21] sweetie 💖Haha, very funny 🖕🏻, but I told you I was over it, it has been like 4 years christ 🙄

[17.23] You known what, whatever 😑 first don't use the Lord's name in vain and second I'll cut to the chase, Jimin, the one who you have had a crush on for almost a decade / our high school friend is here... we're in the lounge area by the restaurant eating banoffee pie, so if you want to join in on an old tradition please do pass by, Miss "I'm in Denial" 😘

Jimin sits down across from you. You talk about his time in the big city, about getting to dance for a living. The more you talk about it the wider his smile gets and the brighter his aura shines. While your modest self can't comprehend the allure of such a lifestyle, you can understand Jimin, and what his dreams mean to him. That's enough for you to mimic his smile.

Just as you and Jimin are about to part ways, you see the familiar bounce of a black bone straight bob heading your way. As you are about to call out Ada's name, Jimin turns his head at the rustling sound of Ada's skiing pants. Now it's your turn to take the backseat. The atmosphere turns silent and calm. The closer Ada gets the stronger her deep breaths resound. You wonder if she is out of breath from seeing Jimin or from rushing to the restaurant to eat some pie. Her trailing eyes gives you the answer.

"Hey," Jimin cuts through the silent with a small wave and a comforting smile.

"Hey!" Ada responds in an overly cheery voice, black hair strands sticking to her forehead.

I told you I wasn't lying," you snap your fingers motioning at Jimin standing by your side.

"I see..." she mumbles while fumbling with the straps of her skiing overalls.

"Are you guys just going to stand there like you don't know each other," you comment and they glare at you.

"What!? you make it seem like you hated each other... I mean the least you could do is like hug or something," you add pursing your lips.

Ada looks at you and her face flinches which means she is suppressing her "Really!?" face. You simply shake your head at her with widened eyes and try your best to suppress a smile.

Jimin takes the first step, contradicting his past behaviour. While Ada is looking for a way to reassure him that he doesn't have to do it and that you are just messing with them, Jimin takes another step, more than he has ever taken. Ada's past betrayals keep her rooted where she stands. Just like a bride, Jimin takes the last steps towards Ada, looks at her, smiles at her and finally sees her for the second time, except this may as well be the first. Ada's arms let go of her strap to smoothen her overall, because now Jimin is looking at her. They stare and end up smiling at each other. As cute at this is, you're growing impatient so you give Jimin a little push. As they engulf one another, it's finally time for all three of you to exhale in unison.

Jimin lets go of Ada to brush his hand through his hair while Ada moistens her lips. He reaches back for a bag beside his chair and extends it to Ada.

"I didn't know Y/N told you I was were. I was planning on giving it to you later. But you're here now so... yeah..."

Ada takes the bag, peaks inside with a nose scrunching smile.

"It's tradition, and traditions should be kept, right?" Jimin questions and Ada's smile flattens a bit.

She sighs and says, "Some traditions are meant to be broken." Ada stares right at Jimin, hoping this time around he understands her.

Inside the bag was a carefully packed slice of banoffee pie.

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A couple of days pass by. You and Ada hit the slopes everyday after your collective morning walks. The two of you soak up the festive spirit of the resort. Christmas is a week away, which means that work is slowly but steadily creeping back into your conscience. But for now, you choose to appease yourself with copious amounts of marshmallow filled hot chocolate and the resort's exquisite selection of pastries.

Today is no different, with your hot chocolate in one hand, you point eagerly at the Yule Log Cake that wasn't there yesterday. The cashier shakes her head at you while cutting into the cake. You sit by the table you and Jimin shared on your first day and indulge in the delicacy in front of you . You're in such as trans that you don't hear Ada creeping close to you.

"Wahhhh!" she screams as she shakes your shoulder. Your cutlery clings as it hits the floor and you involuntarily spit some hot chocolate onto the table. In your moment of distress Ada takes the opportunity to steal a bite of your cake. You put on your blank look and stare at her dumbfounded. She takes a short look at you, smiles and takes a seat across from you.

"Soooo... I know we didn't plan to do anything this afternoon but Jimin hit me up and said that there was a bus from here that would take us to the ice skating rink." She checks if you're doing fine now and resumes, "You know it would be just like our first trip, tradition and all."

"I thought you wanted to break traditions," you say and it comes out more harshly than you intended it to.

Ada rolls her eyes, "Yes, but I was only referring to some not all," and now it's your turn to roll your eyes at her.

"Anyways do you want to come or no?"

"No." you say and Ada ticks her head to the side surprised.

"Well, that doesn't matter, this is my payback for the Jimin stunt you pulled. Here's your ticket. If you don't show up I will expect a refund by the end of the day," she says slapping the ticket onto your right palm.

Ada stands up to leave, as she's walking you shout, " Don't act like you didn't like it," you scoff, how ungrateful can one actually be.

You take a look at the ticket and cringe at the greyish hue on your hands. The only downside of winter. You basically need to lotion up every three hours. You hurriedly devour the rest of your cake and rush to your room to change.

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Everyone is already seated on the bus when you arrive, panting from your little 'run'. You take it as a sign to go easy with the cakes. Your eyes skim the seats, the bus is narrow and hot, and you feel both happy and betrayed when you see Ada sitting with Jimin near the back of the bus. You walk towards them sporting an exaggerated fake smile .

"Hey Y/N!" Jimin says while glancing between you and Ada, checking if the current situation is okay.

You nod reassuringly. To that Jimin points at a mop of wavy black hair infront of him.

"This is my friend Taehyung, he's staying with me at the resort." At that you and Taehyung glance at each to other and exchange courteous and straight smiles.

Taehyung is focused on typing on his phone and you aren't interested enough to reprimand him for using it in a phone free zone. To combat the everlasting presence of smartphones in our modern day to day life, Punniton's Ski Resort decided to place certain phone free zones. It seemed people liked the idea enough since no one has yet to complain. Taehyung however doesn't fit into people. This is something you would come to realize the more you got to know him.

You glance at Jimin with a questioning look and he makes a head motion towards the seat beside Taehyung. You keep bickering back and forth about where you should sit that Taehyung ends up stealing a quick glance at you, but this time he gives you an actual genuine smile, though there's still no teeth. Feeling rude and defeated, you sit yourself down next to him. You try your best to properly fit into the bus seat but your winter jacket, which is slightly too big because you couldn't afford the better model in your size, keeps getting in the way. Finally you give up and simply unzip the jacket.

You're in a phone free bus, in the mountains, so you wonder how the hell this Taehyung dude manages to get a reception, but at least he isn't bored like you. You know who else isn't bored? Ada and Jimin, or as you call them "Admin" because they have been affecting your mood for the past days, but right now is gotta be the worst instance of them all. It's all giggles and more giggles and small claps. All I get when I turn to my left is a man with a handsome face and even better looking hands typing himself away. You wish you could at least have the window seat and busy yourself by looking at the landscape.

You nudge Taehyung a bit, surprisingly he instantly turns his head your way.

"Hmmm..." You start, "not to be rude or anything but would you mind if we exchanged seats," you point as his phone, " since you're typing and I have nothing to do, I would just like to look outside."

Taehyung motions for you to get up with his hand. You step aside, he gets off his seat and you realise that he's at least a head taller than you. You waddle into the window seat and fix your jacket so that Taehyung has enough space to sit. As soon as he sits back down, he focuses his attention back on the typing. Not wanting to disturb him you mumble to yourself, "Thank you."

Ten minutes pass by and you're bored again. You look at Taehyung who has his head leaned back against the seat with his eyes closed. Now that you think about it, despite the endless scrolling and stalking you did on social media you've never seen Taehyung on any of Jimin's social media posts. But you also knew that his social media was more for business than for private reasons. Though you had never seen him before, he definitely looked like a big city boy. He wore classic muted colors, sleek clothing that looked brand new and actually fit him. Between you and Ada, you didn't really care about how you looked from a fashion standpoint, but even with her "low income report" Ada managed to look like she came from the big city.

You, on the other hand, were looking awfully shabby beside the other three individuals. Even if Taehyung himself didn't make you feel this way, just looking at him felt like an insult to your physical appearance. You felt like you were being scolded by your mom to fix your hair, your clothes, your everything, basically fix your entire self.

Now that you think about it, it has been a while since you talked to your mom, you make a mental note to message her when you get back to the resort. You turn around, kneeling on your seat to find out that Ada has dosed off and Jimin has voluntarily remained silent even when he can clearly see that you have no one to talk to. He looks up at you.

"By the way, my mom told me to say hi to you and congratulate you on your sold out show, like a while ago, but better late than never, right?" you say, trying to lift up the mood.

Jimin's eyes are moving around and he's chewing his pinky. He must be thinking about something. Yet he manages, in classic Jimin fashion, to give you his endearing eye smile.

"Well, tell her thank you and that I will come visit her soon."

You give him a shocked face, "Oh so that's how it works, all I need is to compliment you a little and then you will come visit."

You nod your head, "Uh, uh I see how it works."

Jimin glances at Ada before he looks back at you and says, "All you need to do is ask."

You give him a tight smile and sit back down on your seat.

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You wake up from the sudden rush of cold air you feel on your arm. Hastily, you turn you head towards where Taehyung should be, eyelids still dormant and hum softly.

"Errm... Y/N, we have arrived..." Taehyung says poking your arm.

Still drowsy from sleep, you barely register the sound of Ada speaking in the back. You feel a hand touch your hair and instantly you're awake, ready to attack.

Taehyung furrows his brows at your reaction, clearly confused, but still glad that you're finally awake. You don't know Taehyung, so you decide not to punish him for touching your hair, but you do flip Ada off for giving him a green light. She responds by sticking her tongue out. The bus driver's voice echos through the intercom.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at our stop, Lake Punniton. It's currently 14:13. You will be able to explore the forest and skate up until it's time for departure at 17:30. I would recommend that we gather back here at this same stop,10 minutes prior to the departure time. Anyways, I don't want to keep you waiting, so enjoy your time here. Once again, thank you for choosing Punniton's Ski Resort!"

Soon after his commentary, everyone rushes out of the bus. You step out of the bus and instantly want to get back in there. Your cheeks are tingling and your ears feel like they are practically boiling. Someone pulls you into a side hug as you see a flash go off in front of you. You're about to protest and say that you did not agree to appear in any promotional content for the resort, but you notice that behind the camera is Taehyung.

"I hope you don't mind me shooting you guys, it's not often that I get to take pictures of other people," Taehyung says waving his camera around. It's only now that your mind registers that this is your first time actively listening to his voice.

"Nahh, you don't have to worry. You can take as many pictures as you want so long you promise that we can get them as well," Ada chirps with a sense of new found positivity.

It's official, you think, the Jimin effect is now rooted back in place. While you're happy that Ada is opening up to Jimin once again, you're slightly uncomfortable because of the uncertain outcome of her trust in him. You don't have time to keep pondering on the issue as Jimin pulls the oversized sleeve of your jacket.

"C'mon, let's go!"

You retrieve your sleeve with a simple pull but keep walking towards the rink. Once there, Taehyung hands you a pair of skates and you thank him.

"You're welcome," he says sitting beside you on the bench. Now that he's speaking directly with you, and it is just the two of you, you pay close attention to the characteristics of his voice. Sleek, classically deep, calm and a tad bit emotionless. He sounds good. Not wanting to compliment him, even in your own head, you convince yourself that that is how people from the big city sound like.

Once you're done lacing up your skates, you motion to Taehyung that you're going for a little round. He nods while gesturing at his camera. You push off from the bench and let yourself glide over the frozen lake. The ice is a bit rough but you can't really complain, it's a lake not an actual skating rink. The only advantage to skating in a lake in comparison to a rink, is the unlimited space you get to roam. Obviously some places are blocked because of the unstable ice but there's still a vast part of the lake available. You skate straight for as long as you can while staring at the sky.

"Y/N!" Jimin shouts, "Come over here!"

Jimin and Ada are ahead of you. You pick up the speed only to fumble when attempting a snowplow stop. You inevitably fall on the ice.

"Karma." Ada utters under her breath.

You give her your best stank face while attempting to get yourself back up. You end up falling down again as you get a gush of snow on your face from Taehyung's perfect snowplow stop. You sigh defeated. Taehyung glances at you worryingly. He extends his clothed hand at you. You are mad but not mad enough to freeze your ass off on the ice, so you accept his help. With a strong grip Taehyung pulls you back up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ma—"

"Yeah it's okay, as Ada said, karma," you cut him off pointing towards the benches by the frozen lake, "I am gonna go for a walk in the forest, just so I can, you know, clear my mind."

As you skate away, Taehyung makes an attempt to catch up to you in order to give you a better apology but Jimin holds him back and tells him, " Don't worry, it's not you, it's just because you come from the big city".

While Jimin isn't wrong, he isn't totally right either. Yes, you are not fond of him because he comes from the big city, though you are unaware of where he actually lives. You also find it hard to like him because you feel inferior to him. Unlike you, Taehyung actually carries a genuine sense of self-esteem and comfortability with oneself. He was never once, ever since meeting you and Ada, intimidated by your friendship with Jimin. He never showcased an ounce of uncertainty with regards to the activities you've shared so far. You, on the other hand, knew that both Ada and Jimin did not inform you about a forth addition to the trip because that would have been a sure way to keep you seated in the restaurant eating your afternoon and health away.

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Beep! Beep! Beep!

You reach for your phone to stop the timer. You were mad which meant you needed a walk. It had been a while since you had taken one of your timed anger walks. Though now that you have calmed down you realise you were more hurt than mad. Once again, walking blesses you with its magic. It has been twenty minutes, you don't know how far you have walked but your shoes are covered with a thick layer of powdery snow. Unexpectedly, a couple white spots show up on your jacket. You look up to find out that it has started to snow. You should probably head back to the skating area before you get lost.

Scrunching sounds fill the forest as you move forward back to the skating area. Now that you're calm, you know that there really isn't a reason for you to be mad at the situation. Yes, you wanted it to be like old times, just the three of you but that's not how things work. Not for you at least, they have never been how you wanted them. That's how you became so modest.

The area around your neck is white. The melting snow is trickling down inside of your jacket. Damn oversized jacket! You will need to buy an extra large scarf to survive this winter.

By the time you reach the ice skating area, your scarf is very moist, your eyelashes are white and your chin is wet. You sit by the bench to search for Ada's bright red beanie. You had gifted it to her during last years's Secret Santa. Because of this, it was a red knitted beanie with a white motif of a dancer in the center. If she had known it was you, she would have blamed you for reminding her of him.

You can't seem to find the red beanie amongst the crowd. Click. Click. You snap your head to the side to find Taehyung's camera pointed at you. You stare into it. Click. You look away. Click. You stand up to walk away. Click.

Taehyung didn't know you so he could understand your initial dismissal of him. Plus, Jimin had warned him that you weren't very fond of city people but he still insisted that you were friendly. However, you weren't making it easy for him to approach you, let alone get to know you. So he decided to breakthrough in his own way, the one he felt the most comfortable about, by using his camera. Taehyung didn't only approach you to catch your attention but because the scenery, with you on the bench, a slight layer of snow still on top of your tightly coiled ball of hair, would make a great picture.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Taehyung interjects before you manage to go too far.

Taehyung jogs to catch up with you.

"Where are the others?" you ask, hoping he will get the gist.

"They went for a walk," he says keeping it short, just how Jimin told him. "I stayed because I wanted to take some pictures of the scenery," he adds, lifting up his camera to prove his point.

You didn't ask but he still told you. Something you would find out later is that Taehyung often does or says things somebody asked him to.

Here's all you've gathered about Taehyung so far: nice (or at least seems like it), handsome, artistic, big city boy, stylish, confident and persistent. With of all of this, things aren't looking good for Taehyung with regards to the possibility of you befriending him. While Taehyung's profile was far from ideal, there was one big pro that could compensate for everything.

Heis, after all, friends with Jimin. That must mean something?

"How come you decided to follow Jimin here?"

Taehyung turns his head towards you, a smile tugging at his lips. "Nothing in particular honestly, I was free, Jimin offered, I accepted." Taehyung shrugs his shoulders. This is something Jimin would let you know. Things with Taehyung were often like this, meaning easy.

"That's nice, I guess..." You think you should add something to fill up the silence but there's nothing to be said, so you make shit up.

"Be honest. This must be a downgrade compared to what you are usually used to, right?"

Small ridges forn around Taehyungs nose and under his eyes. Oopps... really Y/N!? You couldn't get your discriminatory ego in check.

"I'm so so-" you start.

"No need to be. I mean, you're not totally wrong," he counters swaying his head side to side.

You turn to look at him, eyes wide. Taehyung looks back raising his eyebrows with a close mouthed smile that accentuates his bread cheeks.

"Ahhhh, how dare you, "you respond with an exaggerated scoff. Now, Taehyung eyes's crinkle and you snicker lightly.

Okay, maybe if you gave yourself some time and a healthy dose of welcoming energy, you and Taehyung could become more than just acquaintances. Not exactly friends but not strangers either.

"First of all, please do not post those pictures of me." You turn to stare at your shoes. "And secondly, I'm sorry for my behaviour, that is, my unwarranted bias towards you"

"No worries, it's all already forgotten." That's another thing Taehyung does a lot, forget on demand.

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You and Taehyung are seated at a table in the eating area by the bus top when you see Ada and Jimin walk towards you.

"Feeling better, Y/N?" Ada asks.

You dismiss her mocking tone. "Yes, I was until exactly 5 seconds ago." You turn to look at Taehyung and take a deep breath.

"Much better," you say.

"Uh oh, I see you have broken the barrier." Jimin smiles at the two of you. "That's great, in fact fantastic! It will make the journey back home sooo much easier," he says visibly relieved.

"What do you mean?" You look at Jimin questioningly.

"He didn't tell you?" he says, looking at you. Turning to Taehyung, "You didn't tell her?"

You wave your hands around.

"Taehyung lives in Warringham," Ada swiftly adds.

Before you have the time to interrogate Taehyung, he's flying off the seat frantically searching through his bag and his jacket.

"What is it?" you ask.

Taehyung doesn't answer. You look at Jimin and he shrugs.

Taehyungs is in frenzy mode for a good five minutes before he calms down. Though I doubt it's because he has solved the problem.

The driver calls for everyone to get back on board. You hurry inside before everyone gets in to get the best seats, the ones at the back.

Though you did not talk about it, you assume the same positions you had on the journey to the lake. It was as if you had gone back in time, experiencing déjà vu. Jimin and Ada are laughing except this time they are beside you, and Taehyung is frantically typing himself away. Only this time he looks worried.

Now that you're in the bus the barrier between you and Taehyung has rebuilt itself and you don't dare to ask him if everything is alright. This will happen a lot of times between you and Taehyung. A constant cycle: open, close, open, close, open and repeat.

You are all seated down in the bus, three best friends and a spontaneous add-on that currently look very distressed. Only you didn't know that the add on would end up making you similarly distressed, if not more.

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— a/n: thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed the first chapter ! Any sort of feedback is appreciated. I do tend to mix the reader’s POV with third person omniscient POV.

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mayquita · 4 years

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Damn You For Making Me Love You (4/15) - Holding Out For a Hero

Thank you so so much, for your likes, reblogs, kudos and comments. It means the world to me.

Beta-Reader: Thank you so much, @ultraluckycatnd I couldn’t have asked for a better beta. Thank you for all your effort, your suggestions, your advice and for always being there when I needed you.

Special mention to @saraswans and @onceuponaprincessworld, thank you so much for your perpetual support and for believing in me and in the story. Thank you again to the moderators of the event, @captainswanbigbang for giving us this opportunity and making this possible. You all are the best :)

Summary: Emma Swan and Killian Jones are close friends and co-workers. And both are in love with each other. The problem? They keep their feelings secret not only to the other but also to the rest of their friends. When Elsa, Emma’s best friend and Liam, Killian’s brother and Emma’s boss find out, they decide to form an alliance and work as a team with a clear goal, to get Emma and Killian to take the next step in their relationship and confess their love for each other.

Rating: M

Word count: ~ 7500 (98k total in 15 chapters)

Also:

Tumblr: Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

From the beginning Ao3 / FFnet — Current chapter: Ao3 / FFnet

About this chapter: We return to Emma's point of view. Elsa and Liam begin to carry out their plan. We will see if it brings the desired consequences.

Chapter 3: Holding Out For a Hero

Emma - Some time ago

The first time the Jones brothers suggested that she accompany them for dinner after closing the bar, Emma had only been working there for three weeks. She rejected the invitation with a poor excuse.

Her refusal did not prevent them from trying again a week later. She appreciated their efforts to make her feel integrated, but she preferred to keep the distance, to keep their relationship something closer to strictly professional. Given her long history of abandonment and rejection, she simply did not make friends; she didn’t trust people enough for it. Elsa and Anna were the only exceptions in her life, and so it would remain if it depended on her.

What she hadn't counted on was that she wasn't the only one in this situation that was capable of making decisions or acting in a certain way. She might not have made any effort, but the Jones brothers, especially Killian, were stubborn by nature, so they did not give up and insisted on involving her in every little conversation, banter, or discussion that was taking place in The Kraken.

Her armor began to weaken almost without her noticing. Both Emma and Killian started sharing small details of their past between jokes and innuendos. They were nothing more than mere glimpses of their previous experiences; nothing too personal, but enough to get to know each other better and, at least on her part, allowed her to start lowering her defenses. Still, she kept rejecting their invitations.

Two months after starting work at The Kraken, Liam decided to hire a new waitress, Ruby, due to the constant increase in clientele. Unlike Emma, Ruby did accept the invitation to join them after the bar closed at the first opportunity. This time, Emma was tempted to accept as well but instead, she decided to go home, ignoring a strange sensation that had settled in her stomach; something that was definitely not jealousy. Absolutely not.

A month later, they held a themed party at the bar that proved to be a success, but the previous preparations and subsequent development for the party had drained almost all of Emma's energies.

Emma was exhausted. Not only did her feet hurt like hell due to the damn heels, but other parts of her body were also sore. She even had stiffness in her arms. How was it possible? If she had been told before that her professional career would lead her to accept a job that required that level of physical effort, she would have snorted in disbelief, especially when she had to resort to similar jobs previously in order to be able to finance her degree, the one that was supposed to offer her a whole new world of professional possibilities.

And yet here she was, raising a stool and turning it upside down on the counter to scrub the floor of The Kraken before closing the premises until the next day. Three months later, Emma still wondered sometimes what she was doing there, especially on nights like this one, with a huge crowd filling the bar from the first hours after opening and so much to do for that reason. That thought was becoming less frequent, though, if she was being honest with herself.

You should be proud of yourself. Having so many customers is a consequence of your success. You are only reaping the fruits of your hard work, she told herself in her attempt to justify that her professional achievement was worth some physical and mental exhaustion.

"Swan, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to do that task?" Emma's head turned automatically when she heard Killian's voice behind her while a warm feeling pooled low in her belly and a reluctant smile pulled at her lips.

Her first impression of Killian had been right and hadn't changed over the months. He was trouble, no doubt, with his innuendos and banter, combined with his undeniable good looks. She had learned to handle him soon enough, though, ignoring how her body reacted to his presence —or even just to his voice, as on this occasion — or how her mind betrayed her when her thoughts were occupied by those enigmatic blue eyes more often than what she would like.

She had also soon learned that the Jones brothers were two decent guys, so beyond her undeniable sexual attraction towards the little — younger — brother, she felt comfortable working around them.

"He's right, Emma. You've done enough today helping us behind the bar." Liam approached her, grabbing the stool she was holding while gently pushing her toward the counter area where she had left her laptop and her camera.

Just when she had finished collecting her belongings and was about to head towards the exit, the inevitable dinner invitation arrived.

"Where are you running off to, Emma?" This time it was Ruby who addressed her, her arms crossing over her chest and an eyebrow arched in question.

"I'm going home," she replied slowly. Ruby raised her eyebrow further while the guys remained silent, Robin included, watching the scene. "My feet are killing me," she felt compelled to add as an excuse.

"Oh come on!" Ruby rolled her eyes as she threw her arms in the air. "Just put on the sneakers you came with." Emma's eyes widened in surprise at Ruby's authoritative tone. "This time there are no excuses. The party has been a success thanks to you. We should celebrate it."

"We're going just around the corner, love. It's just pizza, no big deal," Killian added. He had used those same words on previous occasions, but for some reason, perhaps because of Ruby's insistence, or perhaps because he looked hopeful, she found that her decision to refuse the invitation was severely weakened this time.

Before answering, Emma looked at the four people in front of her. They all had the same expectant expression on their faces, as if they really wanted her to accompany them. "Okay, I'll go with you." The words came out of her mouth without her having time to process them, but she did not regret her decision, especially when Emma was rewarded with bright smiles and even clapping from Ruby.

Needless to say, that wasn't the last night Emma accompanied them. She felt so comfortable sharing talks, laughter, and good food until the wee hours of the morning that all her arguments to continue isolating herself ended up fading away. She couldn't be more grateful to these four people, who hadn't given up on her until she had left her armor behind. At least in part. Her battered heart would still be protected at all costs.

A month later, just after Killian's first performance, was the first time Emma went out after work with only the two Jones brothers. Ruby had a date with her girlfriend Mulan, and Robin's babysitter couldn't take care of his son Roland too late that night. So there were only three of them left.

She was about to decline as well, since she wasn't sure she could handle her growing feelings towards Killian when they were just the two of them (plus his brother), but his performance had been a success and they were so euphoric that she got carried away, once again, remarking that she could not miss the opportunity to eat pizza in her favorite place.

From there they established a kind of routine where food was always present in one way or another. Either all the coworkers went out for a late dinner after work, or they met for lunch. Other times, they were just the three of them alone. Over the following months, they not only spent time together in restaurants or cafes, but also chose to meet at one of their apartments.

A year and a half after starting work at the bar, Emma and Killian had their first encounter alone, although this one was quite fortuitous. They had gathered in the Jones apartment for a pizza and Netflix session, as per usual on Mondays, which was the only night that The Kraken was closed. Liam retired to sleep quite early and suddenly they were both alone. What transpired in this unusual situation? They got drunk and revealed between shots (rum for Killian and tequila for Emma) their most traumatic experiences of the past, their secrets, and their fears.

She told him about her past as a foster kid, and the betrayal of her first love, who had not only abandoned her but had allowed her to go to prison for a crime he had committed. She also confessed the reasons why she had returned to Boston after another asshole had broken her heart. He, in turn, confessed his sad past after becoming an orphan and how his heart had also been broken after losing his fiancee in a car accident.

It was a cathartic night, one where Emma felt closer than ever to Killian. But at the same time, she was more frightened. She had never connected this well with anyone else in her life, and she would never do anything to risk losing this powerful connection between them.

Emma had been working at The Kraken for two years when the realization of her true feelings towards Killian appeared suddenly in the least expected way, although Emma shouldn't be surprised that food was somewhat involved.

It was the Monday before Christmas and she had gone to the bar, despite being closed, because she needed to finalize the details for the big party that they would be throwing that upcoming weekend. She had been so focused on her task that she even lost track of time. For that reason, when she heard that someone was trying to open the door of the place, she was startled to the point that she almost dropped her laptop.

"Holy shit Killian, I almost had a heart attack!" she blurted while holding a hand to her chest, ignoring the little flutter in her belly when she realized his presence there.

"My apologies, love." His head made a slight bow as he approached her with a wide grin on his face. Only then did she realize that he was holding a large pizza box.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Well, it wasn't hard to deduce, since you didn't answer your phone, and Elsa informed me that you weren't in your apartment. So I put two and two together and... here I am."

"I guess you haven't come to help, have you?" The delicious aroma coming from the box was too distracting and caused her mouth to start to water while her stomach growled. Killian, as perceptive as ever, noticed it, of course.

"When was the last time you ate, Swan?" There was no accusatory tone in his voice, but rather a hint of concern. Emma had to admit that she couldn’t even remember when she had had a bite last; probably at breakfast. She didn't know what time it was, but the sunlight had long since disappeared. She wasn't going to confess, though, so she simply shrugged while looking sideways at the box.

"I think I took a granola bar a while ago," she lied, reluctant to admit that she had been so focused on her work that she had forgotten even the basics, such as feeding herself. She already had enough with Liam's constant lectures. She didn't want Killian to give her another speech.

Killian let out a heavy sigh while holding her gaze, implying, without words, that he was not buying it. After a slight shake of his head, he placed the box on the counter, so close to her that she had to suppress a moan.

"Luckily for you, I have come to your rescue."

"Eh! I don't need anyone to r..." The words died in her mouth when he uncovered the lid of the box, revealing a delicious and still steaming pizza. Her favorite, to be exact.

She certainly didn't need anyone to rescue her, but just this once, she would consider him as her particular hero. The mere idea of Killian as a hero brought to her mind the reminder of a specific song while she took a mental note to add it to his repertoire, an involuntary smile pulling at her lips as she repressed the urge to start humming.

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life!

Larger than life

Another thought crossed her mind at that moment as a wave of gratitude toward him washed over her. The growl of her stomach was suddenly replaced by a strange tug as the fluttering from earlier became more intense. She needed only a few seconds to look him in the eye to realize the meaning of that overwhelming emotion.

She was in love with Killian. She had fallen in love with him probably a long time ago, but a simple pizza with her favorite ingredients had been enough to accept that feeling for the first time.

Contrary to what it might seem, that realization was not good news at all, but rather the opposite. What the hell was she going to do with that intense feeling bubbling inside her? She pressed her lips together holding back another moan, but this time the smell of the pizza had nothing to do with it; rather the fact that falling in love with her best friend and co-worker was only going to lead them to disaster. Especially because, despite his gestures of affection towards her, nothing made him indicate that her feelings were requited.

Damn you for making me love you, she thought in frustration when he offered her a slice of pizza, a wide grin adorning his lips.

Emma - December 2019

It's getting late, Emma thought nervously as she applied the last touches of makeup. She had spent so much time deciding on the outfit she’d wear to the dinner that now she had run out of time.

Emma blamed Elsa, of course. She had arrived the day before with a last-minute plan. The mother of one of the girls Elsa trained had offered her the chance to get a table reservation in one of the most successful restaurants in the city since she had an unforeseen event and couldn't attend. Since the table was for four people, you could take advantage and invite your two boys to eat something different than pizza or grilled cheese —Elsa's words.

Elsa was right, of course. Food delivery, take-out, or grilled cheese with onion rings at her favorite diner restaurant were her usual food sources. And pizza.

She could almost assure that her daily routine basically revolved between the bar, her apartment or the Joneses, and her favorite pizza shop. It was almost as if they had established their relationship based on their eating habits, to the point that the food had been involved in some way in most of her best experiences since she had moved back to Boston.

What she wasn't used to was going to this kind of fancy restaurant, let alone with her favorite person in the world as a companion.

That's why it took her an eternity to choose the right outfit. Her jeans and red leather jacket were totally discarded, of course. Although she contemplated that possibility for a moment, just to see Elsa's reaction. She would scream bloody murder if she saw her appear that way…

While searching through her closet for a more appropriate outfit, she kept thinking about Elsa's unexpected plan, wondering why she would have suggested that the Jones brothers accompany them instead of her own sister, who would be delighted to go to this kind of place.

Although Killian had dismissed the idea that Elsa and Liam could be seeing each other in secret, she still had some hope. This kind of double date contributed to increasing her suspicions since it was an ideal way to spend time together in a romantic setting while using her and Killian as an excuse. Maybe she was being influenced by the numerous rom-com movies she was watching lately because of the holiday season, or maybe it was just a way to project onto that possible relationship what she would like to have with Killian. Whatever it was, she was enjoying the possibility of the two of them ending together. If they aren't already, that is.

She couldn't wait to see the reaction of her two favorite boys when they set their eyes on herself and Elsa. But for that to happen, she had to choose a damn outfit.

She had tried on all the dresses in her closet, with unsatisfactory results. Too sloppy, too casual, too short, too long... Such was her degree of frustration that she was reconsidering the possibility of her jeans and leather jacket. It was then that she took one last look inside her wardrobe and saw it. The dress was hidden, hanging between two of her leather jackets, which is why she hadn’t noticed it in her first check. But once she found it, the choice was made.

She must admit that she looked pretty damn good in that dress. It was an ivory-colored dress, a little longer than mid-thigh in length. The neckline plunged low between the swell of her breasts and it gathered just below them, creating folds in the front of the dress. The loose-fitting sleeves fell at the elbows. There was also another aspect that had led her to choose that outfit. It was the same one she wore two months ago when her unexpected encounter with Killian took place.

Despite the awkwardness of the moment, she hadn’t missed Killian’s initial reaction when he approached her that night. His pupils had dilated, his eyes had skimmed her body discreetly up and down. She had also noticed how he had tried unsuccessfully to focus his gaze on her face instead of on her breasts. This was, of course, until everything was ruined by the strange behavior of the two of them.

The physical attraction between her and Killian was undeniable. It had been that way from the beginning, but she wasn’t going to ruin their relationship just by relieving the sexual tension between them. He meant infinitely more to her than any one-night stand.

That didn't mean she couldn't perform a certain seduction game, though. The idea of causing a similar effect on Killian was too attractive to dismiss it, so it was decided. She was going to wear that damn dress.

Once the choice of attire was made she had to hurry. She lightly applied mascara so that it was subtle enough to make it appear natural but it allowed her to highlight her eyes. Finally, she combed her hair so that it fell in soft curls over her shoulders. After a final glance at her reflection, she gave her approval to the image in the mirror.

Although they were out of time, Elsa wasn’t in sight when Emma reached the living room. Just then, her friend came out of her bedroom wearing her pajamas and looking downright awful.

"What's wrong, Elsa?"

Elsa almost crawled to the couch and collapsed there. "I feel like shit. My nose is like a spring and my throat hurts a lot," she whispered hoarsely.

This was unexpected. "Oh, then about dinner tonight..."

Her friend sat up a little. "Dinner plan continues, you guys can still go. This is just a cold, I'll be better tomorrow."

Despite her words, Emma was reluctant to leave Elsa alone in her condition. She really looked pretty sick and, after all, this had been her idea. "We can put it off for another time when you're feeling better," she suggested offering her a comforting smile.

"No way! This is the perfect excuse to spend more time with Killian. Don’t miss this opportunity because of me." In spite of her discomfort, Elsa sounded so convincing that Emma had no choice but to accept. She felt a pull of disappointment, though, since the veiled romantic encounter she had imagined for Elsa and Liam would no longer take place. Still, she really wanted to get out of her routine and do new things with both Killian and Liam. A change of scenery would always be welcomed.

"Okay, but if you find yourself worse, promise me you'll call me or Anna, okay?" She couldn't help feeling worried about her friend.

Elsa gave her a small smile with watery eyes from the cold, and before she laid back on the couch, she gestured toward the door. "Now go and have fun. Ah! You look beautiful in that dress by the way. Killian won't know what hit him." Elsa winked at her as her smile grew wider. Emma had no choice but to smirk in response because her friend was right. She couldn't wait to see Killian's reaction.

// When Emma reached the entrance of the restaurant, the two Jones brothers were already there waiting for her. She was greeted with smiles and each of them also kissed her cheek. The almost imperceptible gesture of appreciation on Killian's part did not go unnoticed by her.

Apparently, Elsa had previously informed them via text of her condition. Emma could barely contain her excitement upon learning that her friend had decided to personally inform Liam of her absence. Emma also didn't miss a hint of concern in her boss's expression as they talked about Elsa's state.

A few minutes later, they were at a table, located in one of the coziest corners of the restaurant. Emma allowed herself a moment to appreciate the room, which was decorated somberly, with both an intimate and elegant touch at the same time. Their table was adorned with a blue gerbera daisy inside a sophisticated and transparent glass vase. Three small candles placed in glasses with the same design as that of the vase completed the decoration.

The two brothers sat in front of her. Emma still wore a smile of triumph that had appeared on her face when, a few seconds earlier, she had taken off her coat, revealing her dress. Killian had dropped his jaw slightly as his eyes darkened.

She, for her part, couldn’t take her eyes off him either. The bastard had chosen for the occasion a new shirt she hadn’t seen before. Its top buttons, as always, were unbuttoned, and the blue color of the fabric matched his eyes, enhancing their brightness. Liam, on the other hand, looked somewhat more classic, wearing an American jacket over a white shirt.

Once they had passed the first impression, they began one of their usual talks. However, a few minutes later, even before they had ordered their dishes, Liam's phone began to ring.

Liam's casual expression changed the moment he answered the phone. His brow furrowed, showing concern at first, but as the conversation went on, his brow deepened and his voice was filled with annoyance. “I can't believe it. I can't take a break, not even one day. No! Don't do anything else!” They were some of the expressions he let loose. It seemed obvious that something was going on at The Kraken.

As the conversation unfolded, Emma and Killian exchanged glances of concern since they also felt responsible for everything that happened in the business. Wednesday used to be a very quiet day, but perhaps it had not been a good idea that none of them were present or available at that particular time of the day.

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute." With that, Liam hung up the phone and got up from his seat. "I'm sorry guys, there's been a mishap at The Kraken. I have to leave."

"What happened?" Killian was the first to speak, his tone of concern evident.

"Do you want us to accompany you?" she volunteered. Since half of the members had retired, it didn't make much sense to continue this dinner, right?

Before he spoke, Liam swallowed while scratching behind his ear; a gesture so characteristic of both brothers that they both did it when they were nervous. Emma tilted her head slightly as she narrowed her eyes. Something was happening here.

"No, it's not necessary." Liam cleared his throat before continuing. "Something has happened to the electric current and Robin doesn’t know how to fix it. I hope I can come back soon."

"But..."

"I'll keep you informed, enjoy the dinner." Without any more words, Liam waved at them and hurried out of the room.

Emma's eyebrows knitted together as she stared blankly at Killian, his expression mirroring hers.

"What the hell just happened?"

Killian shook his head in response as if trying to assimilate what had happened. Meanwhile, a thought had begun to settle in her head. Liam's departure had been too hasty, as had Elsa's illness. Her frown deepened as the idea drifted through her mind. What if...?

"Oh my God!" She hit the table with one hand, suddenly excited about a certain possibility. "Everything makes sense! Your brother just lied to our faces. I knew it!"

Killian tilted his head slightly to the side, raising an eyebrow and looking at her skeptically. "I must admit that his departure has been quite unexpected, but why would he lie to us?"

"Isn't it obvious? He has gone to take care of Elsa, of course!"

Killian's eyebrow rose even more, while he wore an amused expression. "I thought we had already established that the secret dating thing wasn't a possibility, love."

She rolled her eyes and then offered him an unimpressed expression. "You had established it, Jones, not me." A wide grin pulled at her lips as her idea took shape. "Think about it for a moment. You really think that Robin, who has been working for longer than me at The Kraken, wasn't going to be able to solve an electrical problem? It was just a poor excuse, I'm telling you. Those two are up to something."

Killian did not respond immediately. He spent a few seconds with a thoughtful expression on his face as he stroked the scruff on his chin. "I admit that Liam's behavior has been a bit strange. But you know that my brother is a weird guy. I think it's just a coincidence." Before she could reply, he continued talking. "Still, in case you were right, that doesn't stop us from enjoying dinner and this fancy place, right?"

"Okaaay. Although maybe I should call Elsa, you know, to find out if she feels better or needs something..."

“No, you shouldn’t.” Killian shot her a meaningful look before replying. "According to your theory, Liam would already be in charge of her well-being, so..." He pointed at the menu so she had no choice but to let out an exaggerated sigh and kept her inquiries for another time. “And now that we've established that it's just going to be you and me, can we continue with dinner? I don't know about you, but I'm hungry and thirsty." He punctuated the last words, bringing Emma back to reality. Once the initial surprise was over, it seemed that Killian had decided to take advantage of the opportunity offered. “Shall I order us some drinks?" he asked with a flirtatious voice.

His tone had an immediate effect on her. Emma noticed a blush crawling up her neck to her cheeks as she glanced at him from beneath her eyelashes. He was exaggerating his expression — or so she believed— with his arched eyebrows, his sultry gaze, and a seductive smile on his lips, but that didn't stop the butterflies in her stomach from fluttering furiously. This was not a good idea. Even acting, this man was too sexy for his own good.

This place was too romantic and he was especially handsome tonight, and they were together, enjoying a dinner... Stop! This is not a date. This was just something unexpected. She forced herself to keep a straight face, deliberately ignoring her body's reactions and decided to continue on the sure path, the banter.

"Uhm, I'm not sure. You and I know that if it's hard enough to put up with you when you're sober, it's even harder when you're tipsy."

He leaned a little toward her, his gaze even more piercing and voice more hoarse. "Or maybe you're a bit worried you'll find me even more irresistible after a few libations?"

"Seriously, Jones?" She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly as she tossed what was closest to her, which luckily was her napkin. Her reaction, of course, made him chuckle.

Okay, he wanted to play? They were going to play. She leaned slightly forward, her crossed arms resting on the table and her breasts on them, the posture making her neckline even more evident. "You already know that your seduction game doesn't work with me." Now it was her turn to utilize a seductive voice. "So maybe you're the one who would find me even more irresistible. Do you think you could handle it, buddy?"

Killian's smile disappeared completely from his face, giving way to a clenched jaw as he tried to prevent, without success, his gaze drifting towards her cleavage. Emma, in turn, couldn’t stop her lips from curving into a proud smile, totally self-satisfied for the right choice of dress.

Just as he was about to say something, they heard someone shouting her name.

"Emma!!"

Both turned their heads looking for the origin of the voice. Anna, Elsa's sister, waved at them as she walked towards them. Kristoff, her boyfriend, was walking a few steps behind her. They came to their table in an instant, without giving them any time to react.

"Oh, how lucky we are to have found you!" Anna sat in the empty chair next to Emma, as she gestured to Kristoff to sit next to Killian.

"My sis told me about the reservation. I was dying to come to this place, but Elsa told me it was too late to include us. Luck is on our side today, though. When I talked to her and I found out that she was sick, I thought, yes, why don't we try it? I'm sure they can make room for one more at the table." The words spilled out of her mouth, giving no time to the others to process them. "By the way, where's Liam?" Before anyone could respond, she continued. "It's better if he is not here, though, so we both can join you. You see, Kriss, I told you it was a good idea to come." Anna's mouth finally closed, her lips drawing a smile of satisfaction.

Emma shook her head slightly, dropping her jaw a little, trying to process what had just happened. Her gaze shifted to Killian, who had the same confused look on his face, though she could also detect a hint of annoyance in his gaze.

"Wait a moment, we haven't interrupted anything, have we?" Her eyes widened as she pointed to the two of them.

Emma blushed as she realized that her posture was the same as before the interruption, so she quickly sat up, keeping her back straight and moving her hands to her lap. "Of course not."

"So I guess that means we can join you, can't we?"

Again Emma’s gaze shifted toward Killian, who shrugged and nodded almost imperceptibly. "Uhm, yeah, we haven’t even ordered yet."

In this unexpected way, like everything that happened during the night, dinner became again a dinner for four. Emma couldn’t deny that she was relieved in some way by Anna's appearance. The game she started with Killian was dangerous, so cutting it off with the help of her friend was probably the most convenient. That didn’t stop her from being disappointed as well. That kind of no-date would have been a good opportunity to hang out with Killian away from the places they usually did. Oddly enough, occasionally getting out of their comfort zone gave them many interesting possibilities, and as long as they didn’t cross a certain line, everything would be fine.

In spite of everything, the evening was quite pleasant. Anna delighted them with her insatiable verbiage, only slowing down when she had to eat, but the talk was nice and she felt in good company. Besides, Emma didn’t miss the sideways glances Killian threw at her from time to time. The hours passed without her hardly realizing and suddenly they found themselves paying the bill and leaving the restaurant.

The cold of the December night welcomed them as soon as they left the restaurant. Emma felt a shiver run through her body as a gust of freezing wind hit her. Still, she wasn’t yet ready to return to the warmth of her apartment. Just when she was about to suggest going to have some drinks, Anna overtook her.

"Well, it's been a great night, but now it's time to take care of my sister. I'm coming home with you, Emma."

Elsa's mention caused a tug of regret in Emma’s stomach since she had completely forgotten her friend's condition. The reminder also brought back her suspicions regarding Liam, while she wondered if Anna would know anything about her sister's supposed love life and if it would be necessary to inform Elsa in any way that they were already coming home, just in case.

She would have preferred to extend the date a little more, but the truth was that there was no way she would reject Anna's idea. Although she actually only wanted to spend more time with Killian, regardless of the place or the reason, she couldn’t use any excuse not to accompany Anna to her own apartment.

As Anna and Kristoff stepped away from them to say goodbye to each other, she cast a sideways glance toward Killian, who stood just a few steps away. Though his face was impassive, his eyes were fixed on her. Emma gave him a small smile that seemed to activate something in him, because at that moment he approached her, invading without preamble her personal space.

"Although it's a shame that I miss the sight of your lovely attire, I care more about your well-being, Swan." He grabbed the lapels of her coat, pulling her slightly toward him, causing her heart to skip and her stomach to flutter. "Do you need help to fasten your coat?" His suggestive voice did nothing to placate her sudden agitation. He was too close and his gaze was so intense she wasn’t sure that her brain was able to give the order to her fingers to button up the damn coat.

"Says the man who spends all winter wearing only a leather jacket," she managed to say in a hint of lucidity as she rolled her eyes. Killian cocked his head slightly, arching an eyebrow, and his chin pointed toward her coat, without removing his hands from its lapels. Her trembling fingers —because of the cold, of course — began to slowly button up all the buttons, while her eyes stayed fixed on him, giving him a defiant glance.

"Are you happy now?" The words came out of her mouth between puffs of mist. She hated to give him the reason but the truth was that despite the momentary heat that had invaded her space by Killian’s proximity, the air was chilly around her, so she thanked the warmth offered by the coat.

Although Killian had dropped his arms the moment she finished her task, he continued to stare at her, the tip of his tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth. "Not yet, love." He walked away a couple of steps and she cursed to herself when the cold surrounded her again as she lost the protection of his body. A flash of a smile began to form on his face anticipating his new crazy idea. "I'm sure you've brought with you one of those lovely beanies of yours." The previous hint of a smile quickly transformed into a wide smirk as he approached her again invading once more her personal space. She wasn't going to complain, not if that meant she would feel his warmth radiating back to her.

"Seriously? Do you want me to wear a beanie with this dress?" As she spoke she made a gesture with her hand pointing her body up and down. She didn’t lose sight of the fact that the movements of her hand were followed by Killian's glance accompanied by a gesture of appreciation.

"As I told you before, love, I care about your well-being. Besides, you look pretty adorable with one of those framing your face."

"Adorable..." She echoed his words mockingly as her gaze moved unconsciously to where Anna and Kristoff were. The two of them had finished saying goodbye and they were staring at the scene side by side with amused expressions on their faces.

For a few seconds, she had completely forgotten that the two of them were not alone, so by the time she realized Anna and Kristoff were both watching, she cleared her throat, noticing how her cheeks flushed angrily. After rolling her eyes, she pulled the damn beanie from her coat pocket and put it on. "Happy now?" She repeated her own words with a bit of annoyance.

By all answer, he lifted his arms as he adjusted the beanie on her head, completely ignoring the presence of witnesses. She stood still, watching him from beneath her lashes as her heart hammered in her chest at his closeness. Once satisfied with the result, he leaned slightly toward her and brushed his lips almost imperceptibly against her cheek, sending a chill running all over her body from head to toe. This time the cold wasn't the cause at all.

"Aye, love. See you tomorrow."

For a moment, she froze, unable to react. They kissed each other continuously —cheek kisses of course — but this time she had felt the simple touch of his lips against her skin with much more intensity. The expression on Killian's face certainly didn't help, either. Fortunately, Anna came to her rescue, approaching her and hanging her arm from hers.

"Ah, one more thing." Just as they were about to turn to walk to the cab spot, Killian spoke again, "remember that we have a rehearsal tomorrow."

In fact, their performance as a duo had been a success, so they had contemplated the possibility of repeating it on more occasions if that was okay with her. Of course, it was. What she had experienced on stage was something magical and she was more than willing to repeat it.

"Sure, have you already chosen the song?"

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow, love." Killian winked at her as he offered her one of his adorable smiles, a flash of white teeth and curved lips, causing her to have an almost irrepressible need to wipe it out with her own lips against his.

Killian waved his hand before turning and walking away with Kristoff. She watched them for a few seconds, reluctant to lose sight of him yet. Just when she was going to give up, he turned his head, his eyes looking for her. She gave him one last smile before starting walking beside Anna in the opposite direction.

Surprisingly, Anna seemed thoughtful, so Emma's lips remained sealed, a quiet silence fell over them as they walked. That allowed her to lose herself in her own thoughts.

Her mind led her to the kiss they had shared a moment before. Their kisses on the cheeks were one of the public displays of affection they were accustomed to. Because friends kiss each other, right? Perhaps these displays of affection weren't convenient at all considering her feelings toward him, but she felt selfish in that regard. She was unable to offer him much more and wasn't sure he was interested either, honestly. But at least she could have these little indulgences. And he seemed not to complain at all.

This time the kiss hadn't been different from other occasions, but she had been much more affected by it. She could still feel the tingling on her cheek. Perhaps the cause was the exceptional situation in which they had been involved or maybe their previous banter. Whatever the reason was, the need to feel his lips on her skin again grew more and more.

The silence did not last long. Just as they reached the taxi rank, Anna gave her a narrow-eyed glance as she asked, taking her out of her thoughts, "So, is there something you have to tell me about you and Killian?"

Dammit! She should have known better before flirting blatantly with him in front of Anna. Emma already had enough with one of the two sisters being aware of her secret. The last thing she needed was Anna and her inability to remain silent for more than two minutes in a row knowing it as well. So she did what she did best, that is, feign confusion and/or divert attention. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please!" Anna rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. It was clear that it wasn’t going to be that easy. "I'm very insightful, you know. There’s something here you're not telling me about, and I'm dying to know some good gossip. So tell me, have you two finally decided to be together?"

Finally? Luck was on her side that night, despite the circumstances. Just then a cab came in, so Emma hurried to stop it and get into the car, but not before muttering, "There is nothing between us, we are just friends."

"Whatever you say," Anna snorted as she murmured under her breath.

Once inside, the cards were still on her side, as the taxi driver turned out to be a talkative man and Anna was soon caught up in a conversation with him about Christmas traditions or something similar. Not that Emma was listening really, since her phone began to buzz shortly after beginning the drive. The moment she found out that Killian was sending her a message, everything else ceased to exist.

Hey, beautiful. I don’t think I had the opportunity to tell you before. But you looked stunning in that dress, Swan. - KJ

Her lips curled into a wide smile as she read the message while a pleasant thought settled in her memory. Two months ago she had received a similar message, from the same person, praising the same dress.

Uhm, that sounds familiar to me. Don't you think? - ES

What? That you did look stunning? It’s likely because it’s a fact that you look stunning on most occasions. - KJ

Emma blushed. Apparently, the flirtation was not over tonight. She couldn’t deny that she was flattered by this new closeness of Killian. And even though this might make things more difficult, she was unable to get rid of any gesture of affection from him, even in the form of a simple compliment.

You were not so bad yourself :) - ES

You were right, Swan, I'm now having a sense of deja-vu, but I'm not going to complain. I wouldn't mind recalling this kind of situation over and over again - KJ

Before she had time to answer, she received another text, causing her to almost melt in her seat.

It's always a pleasure to have dinner with you, Swan, no matter if it's in our favorite pizza shop, in one of our apartments, or in one of these fancy restaurants. - KJ

Or in The Kraken when I'm so busy that I forget to eat and you have to come to save me from starvation? - ES

Oh, I especially enjoy those occasions, when you allow me to perform my role as a knight in shining armor ;) - KJ

But I'm not a damsel in distress - ES

I'm perfectly aware of this, believe me, that's why I enjoy those rare moments when you allow me to do something for you, even if it's to offer you a slide of your favorite pizza - KJ

"Who are you talking to?" Anna's unexpected voice caused Emma to almost drop her phone. She felt her cheeks blush as she quickly locked the screen and put the phone in her purse. She cast a sidelong glance at her friend, who was looking at her with an amused expression on her face.

"Liam," she lied shamelessly, as she turned her head and directed her gaze toward the window, ignoring the curious glow in Anna's gaze.

Her heart was still pounding in her chest after her brief but somehow intimate conversation with Killian. For the first time in four years, she had begun to consider giving her heart a new chance. Even so, the fear of losing Killian was still too paralyzing. But little by little, a ray of hope had begun to seep through the cracks. This time, she felt unable to seal those cracks back up.

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Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think :)

What to expect in the next chapter? So their plan has been ruined ... but Elsa doesn't give up and soon comes up with a new plan. Will they succeed this time?

Also, I would like to ask you something. If any of you read the original version, what do you think about this new version? Do you like the flashbacks I've included so far and that didn't appear in the previous version? Thanks in advance :)

#cs ff #csrt #damn you for making me love you #captain swan #cs au #captain swan rewrite a thon #cs au ff #mayquita writes #my cs writings

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years

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Sins of the Past Pt.20

Wonderland. (Lighting candles on an altar, Morgause looks up to see Ella standing nervously beside her.) Ella: "You said you had answers about my mother. Please, tell me all that you know about her.” Morgause: “I’m sorry, Ella, but your mother is dead. She’s been gone a long time now. (Ella drops her head, her worst fears confirmed:) Perhaps you would like to see her?” Ella: (Raising her head quickly:) “What? Oh I... I want that more than anything.” Morgause: “As you wish. (Morgause holds out her hand, which Ella takes. Turning her so that Ella's back is to the altar:) Close your eyes. (As Morgause begins to chant, a breeze blows through the garden:) Arásae mid min miclan mihte þín suna to helpe. Hider eft funde on þisse ne middangeard þín suna w’æs." Cecelia: “Ella. (Ella opens her eyes:) Ella.” Ella: “Mother.”

Wonderland. Red Queen’s Dungeons. (Returning to check on her prisoner, Anastasia stands outside Will’s cell.) Will: “You’re a funny wonder you are. I thought the whole point of becoming Queen was that so you never had to get your hands dirty again.” Anastasia: “Will, I still get my hands dirty.” Will: “That’ll be because you’re not actually queen of anything! So what, you've just come to gloat? Laugh about how you’ve got half of Wonderland thinking you’re still queen?” Anastasia: “That's not why I’m here.” Will: “Then what is it?” Anastasia: “I came to tell you that while you might be feeling cavalier about your life, there are those of us who think you’re one of the finest men they’ve ever met. I’ve locked you in here to get it into your head that there are people out there who want you dead!” Will: “I’m well aware of that, thank you!” Anastasia: “Oh I know you are, but what about the people you care about? Do they know what kind of danger you’re putting yourself in just by being here?” Will: “They don’t need to know all of my sins.” Anastasia: “That’s where you’re wrong, Will. Back when I was being hunted by Cora’s men, you were there to make sure I survived. I became the Red Queen to save myself and you became a thief for the same reason. A long time ago you reminded me that no matter how bad things may seem, the one thing that will always be there for you is family. Well today I'm the one standing outside these bars and I've brought your family to you.” (Will watches as Tiana climbs the steps towards his cell, followed by his sister, Alice.) Tiana: "We're not going to let anyone hurt you, Will, but I'm gonna need a real good reason to not kill you myself. (Will drops his head:) How could you not tell us about all this?" Will: "I didn't want you to know. Either of you. (To Alice:) The things I did while you were locked in your tower, I couldn't have you worrying about your big brother. (To Tiana:) I never wanted you to find out what kind of man I was back then." Alice: "So you'd rather risk your own life than let us down? Don't you know how stupid that sounds?" Will: "It wasn't stupid to me. I thought I was protecting you from the truth." Alice: "What truth? That you were so desperate to survive that you stole a few things? Are you forgetting that we used to pinch stuff together? Back when it was just the two of us, right after Mum and Dad died. We were a regular Fagin and Artful Dodger, you and me." Will: "That doesn't make it right, Alice." Alice: "No, but I also remember who we used to steal from. Only those who could afford to lose a little here and there. (To Tiana:) I bet you that's who he stole from for the Caterpillar. (To Will:) I'm right, aren't I?" Will: "It's not that simple-" Alice: "See? I told ya." Tiana: (Moving closer to the bars:) "I never would've asked you to come on this journey with Ella if I had known just how dangerous it was going to be for you." Will: "It's me own fault. I should've told you." Tiana: "You're damn right you should. Because of you, we've got blondie over there thinking she's still queen." Anastasia: "Excuse me?" Tiana: "Oh I'll get to you in a minute. For now let me just say this, if you ever even think about keeping secrets from me again, the Caterpillar will be nothing compared to what I'll have in store for you. Are we clear?" Will: "Yes, love." Tiana: "Pardon?" Will: "Yes, Your Majesty." Tiana: "Mm hmm. Now, speaking of Ella, where is she anyway?"

Wonderland. Oracle's Garden. Continued. Cecelia: “My daughter. (Cecelia goes to Ella and embraces her:) When I last held you, you were just a child. You were the most precious thing in my life. I’m so sorry.” Ella: “You have nothing to be sorry for. Alice and Will told me what happened, that you were cursed.” Cecelia: “I should have told you. The pain I’ve put you though-” Ella: “No, you are not to blame.” (Cecelia releases her, holding Ella’s hands in her own.) Cecelia: “I cannot bear the thought that you believed I didn’t love you, that I wouldn’t have done everything I could to find my way back to you and your father.” Ella: “It’s me who should be sorry, for doubting your love for us.” Cecelia: “Do not think that. It is the Evil Queen who should carry the guilt for what happened.” Ella: “What do you mean?” Cecelia: (Hesitates:) “It is not important. What matters is that you are happy.” Ella: “Why should the Evil Queen feel guilty?” Cecelia: “It’s better left in the past.” Ella: “You cannot leave me with more questions. Please.” Cecelia: “Shortly after I left you, the Hatter’s travels to the Dream Realm came to an end. With the loss of his wife, Sarah, Jefferson had to do whatever he could to keep his daughter safe. He decided they would leave Wonderland and start afresh in the Enchanted Forest. The Hatter offered to take me with them, but I refused, believing the answer to my curse lay in Wonderland. So I remained behind, living in Jefferson’s old house in Tulgey Woods.” Ella: “So you were there?” Cecelia: “Yes, for a short time. By night I would read books about Wonderland’s many different poisons and by day I would search the forest looking for them. Until the day she came looking for Jefferson.” Ella: “Regina?” Cecelia: “After my dealings with the witch who cursed my heart, I knew evil when I saw it. Jefferson was trying to begin a new life away from the kind of wickedness the queen courted. I couldn’t let her jeopardise that for him, so I told her he wasn’t interested. The queen attacked me, insisting that I tell her where the Hatter had gone, but I couldn’t betray him.” Ella: “So she killed you?” Cecelia: “I sacrificed my life so that Jefferson could live his in peace, together with his daughter. (Ella closes her eyes, shaking her head:) Please, do not let this knowledge change you.” (The wind blows once more. Ella looks back up and sees that Cecelia is gone.) Ella: “No! Bring her back!” Morgause: “I cannot. Once the doorway is closed, it is closed forever. I am truly sorry that you learnt of your mother’s fate in this way. I can only imagine how it must feel to discover Regina is responsible for her death. It is an unforgivable betrayal.” (Morgause walks away, leaving Ella standing alone, a fire burning behind her eyes.) Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Regina: "What the hell are you talking about?" (Standing outside on the porch, Emma and Regina have been visited by Mulan and Ruby.) Ruby: "A friendly contest between two of the hottest couples the world has ever seen." Regina: "And what makes you think we'd be interested in something like that?"

Ruby: "Hey, I'm just the messenger, it was Xena who laid down the challenge." Emma: "Xena did?" Mulan: "She told us to tell you when she and Gabrielle took over our watch in the forest." Ruby: "Apparently her ego was bruised after what happened at the gym." Regina: "Xena has nothing to worry about, loss of flexibility is perfectly natural, for a woman of her advanced age." Emma: (Scoffs:) "That's cold." Mulan: "Wait, aren't you both the same age?" Ruby: "Well let's work it out. (Regina rolls her eyes:) Let's say Xena left home at sixteen, had ten years of dark deeds." Mulan: "The Evil Xena phase." Ruby: "Right. Then she spent five years or so travelling with Gabrielle before they were frozen in ice for twenty-five years." Emma: "Don't forget the year she spent without her memory. (At Regina's look:) What? It's a great show." Ruby: "I think Regina was around the same age when she cast the curse so... they're pretty much the same age, yeah." Regina: (Flatly:) "Well that's two minutes of my life I'm never getting back. (To Mulan:) Shouldn't Xena be spending her time coming up with a battle strategy should we need to lay siege on Camelot?" Mulan: "We have discussed it. As things stand right now, if Morgana's army is truly behind her, there's no one who can match it." Ruby: "And that's if it remained a non-magical battle." Mulan: (Nods:) "Because if Lily and Maleficent are being held in the castle, we can't go in blasting through Camelot's defenses without the risk of retaliatory action being taken against them." Ruby: "It's your classic impasse." Emma: (Sighs:) "Any sign of Mordred?" Mulan: "No, but we're covering a lot bigger area now that there are more volunteers." Regina: "We can't just sit on our hands and continue to do nothing." Ruby: (Mischievously:) "So, does that mean you're accepting Xena's challenge?" Camelot. Dungeons. (Morgana accompanies Elsa to the dungeons for a second time. Having previously inspected each cell the night before, Elsa curses under her breath after finding no trace of either Lily or Maleficent.) Morgana: "I understand your frustration, Elsa, but they are simply not here." Elsa: "It doesn't make any sense. The potion lead me to Camelot." Morgana: "You are free to search wherever you like. (Taking Elsa's hand:) Please, if there is anything I can do for you, all you need do is ask." Stables. (Anna and Kristoff speak in hushed voices.) Anna: "Of course they're here, they're just very well hidden, that's all!" Kristoff: "How can you be so sure?" Anna: "Because Elsa used the same locator spell when she found us washed up on the beach in that old trunk." Kristoff: "Yeah, but I think Morgana's sense of hospitality might waver if Elsa were to start blasting through walls!" Anna: "Well we have to do something!"

Kristoff: "We've searched every inch of the castle including Merlin's tower. Where else is there to look?" Anna: "I don't know! If you like questions so much, why haven't we seen Morgana's sister since we've been here? Huh? Answer me that." Kristoff: (Shrugs:) "Maybe Morgause has her own life to lead? Not all sisters are joined at the hip all the time you know." Anna: (Ignoring this:) "Or maybe she's where Lily and Maleficent are being held. Guinevere said Morgause is untrustworthy and has dark tendencies. It doesn't get much darker than kidnapping." Kristoff: "Well, there's murder. That's definitely darker than kidnapping, but there's been no proof of that either. And don't most kidnappers leave a note or a list of demands?" Anna: "Don't try and sway me with your cool-headed logic, Mr. Questions, this isn't the time." Kristoff: (Dryly:) "Of course not." Anna: "Camelot's a big place so we have to check anywhere and everywhere. Lily and Maleficent are family and we are not leaving without them." Kristoff: (Putting his hands up:) "Agreed. So where do you wanna look next?" Storybrooke. Sheriff's Station. (Emma and Regina meet up with the Charmings.) Snow White: "I think it sounds like a great idea. It could be just what everyone needs." Emma: "What, a chance to see me get my ass handed to me by Gabrielle in a staff fighting contest?" Snow White: "No, an excuse for another festival. (Emma and Regina groan:) Last time it was to raise the spirits of the people of Dun Broch. This time we can invite everyone from all the realms." Regina: "Oh great. Your mother's going to sell tickets." Snow White: "I just think that given the current situation, Storybrooke needs as many allies as possible if we're on the verge of going to war with Camelot. David thinks it's a good idea, don't you?" David: (Smiling:) "Absolutely." Regina: "Well of course he does. After knocking that knight over with his truck, he's got his swagger back. You'll probably challenge everyone you can to a joust." David: "Actually, no, not this time. I'll be helping Snow with organising everything. Guinevere's already got her hands full so I thought I'd offer my services." Snow White: "Plus Jasmine's offered to help Queen Roberta, so David won't have a chance to ask Aladdin for a rematch." Regina: “Mmhmm.” Emma: "Yeah, well that's great and all, but we haven't actually accepted the challenge yet. We don't even know if it's something we want to do." Zelena: (Entering:) "Oh you're doing it all right. I've got a lot of money riding on you two to win." Regina: "You only want us to do it so you can spend more time with Maria." Zelena: "And what's wrong with that? Someone's got to look after the poor girl, while you're off gallivanting. Tell you what, (Her hand already on Maria's baby carrier:) why don't you two go discuss it over coffee at Granny's (Picks up the basket and places five dollars in it's place:) My treat." (Before either of them can say anything, Zelena turns and leaves the station with Maria.)

Forest. (As the search for Mordred continues, Hook and Robin walk together along the forest path. Hook stopping occasionally to look through his spy glass.) Robin: "So, how are you holding up?" Hook: "Not great if I'm honest with you. It would be one thing if we knew for sure where Lily and Mal are so I could then go and rescue them." Robin: "Yeah, it's the not knowing that's the worst. Have you heard anything from Elsa and the others?" Hook: "No. I should be there with them in Camelot. (Sighs:) But it was agreed, what with my temper, that my staying here was best for everyone. (Notices Robin glancing at her watch:) Am I keeping you from something?" Robin: "What? Oh, no, it's just that Robin Hood was supposed to come take over for me. With Maleficent gone, it's been down to me to run the bar and-" Hook: "You've done a grand job with that place, Robin. Mal knows it too, though she'd never say it to your face." Robin: "Tell me about it." Hook: "That's just her way. She shows her appreciation differently to other people. You'll get to know her quirks the longer you work together." Robin: "I hope so. Did she really say she likes the changes I've made?" Robin Hood: (Arriving:) "Sorry I'm late. I was just rounding up the Merry Men. Your brother's back there with Little John." Robin: "Great, I'll say hi to him on my way back. Thanks for covering me." Robin Hood: "Not at all." Robin: (To Hook:) "Well, I guess I'll see you." Hook: "Aye, it's the best thing anyone can do for now. Keep doing what you have been and make Mal proud. (Robin smiles and turns to leave, almost bumping into Robin Hood. They share an uncomfortable nod and Robin Hood steps aside to let her pass:) Well that was awkward." Robin Hood: "Shut up and give me that. (Hook allows himself a smile as he hands over the spy glass:) I know this might not be the best time but, do you have any advice... on how to be a good father?” Hook: “Robin giving you the cold shoulder is she?” Robin Hood: “Oh we’re perfectly civil to each other, it’s just... me being with her mother and-” Hook: “And the fact that you’re not actually her father but look exactly like him? Yeah, that’s a tricky one. My advice would be not to force these things. Robin knows you’re not her dad and at this stage she’d probably resent you for trying to be. The one you have to worry about is Zelena.” Robin Hood: “Zelena? Why’s that?” Hook: “That woman’s got baby fever in the worst way. (Holds out his hand for the spy glass:) So good luck with that, mate.” Wonderland. (Striding along the forest path with a new sense of purpose, Ella is stopped by two men who are cooking their dinner beside the road.) Man 1: “Hold on there. Where do you think you're headed?” Ella: “I'm heading west. I need to find someone, and you're blocking my way.” Man 1: “If you keep heading west, you'll end up in the Black Forest, luv. You won't find anyone there.” Man 2: “They say it's so dark, you can't even find your own nose.” Ella: “I'll take my chances. Thank you.” (Man 1 blocks her path.) Man 2: “That seems awful dangerous, don't it? A little girl traveling alone. She might not know the rules.” Man 1: “See, this here's a toll road. You needs to pay the toll.” Man 2: “Now be a good girl and give us that necklace.” Ella: (Draws her sword:) “You even touch this necklace, and you'll lose your hand.” (Man 2 laughs.) Man 1: “Careful who you threaten, luv. No bauble's worth losing your life.” Ella: “This one is. (Ella knocks Man 2′s mace out of his hand and hits him with a spinning back elbow. Blocking Man 1′s overhead strike with her sword, she kicks him in the gut and he falls hard to the ground. Side stepping another attack from Man 2, Ella knees him in the gut and pushes him face first into a tree. Ducking Man 1′s wild swing, she punches and elbows him several times before hurling him to the ground. Standing over him with her sword in his face:) Be careful who you threaten, luv. (Picking up a flaming log from the fire:) Thanks for the light.” (Ella sheathes her sword, using the log as a torch, and continues on her way.) Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. (Taking Zelena's advice, Regina and Emma discuss Xena & Gabrielle's challenge.) Regina: "I mean just the fact they even challenged us shows that they're the ones who have something to prove." Emma: "Well, it sure as hell beats sitting around waiting. Besides, Mom was right when she said we need allies." Regina: "The other realms wouldn't possibly choose Morgana and Morgause over us. They love us. We're still wading through all the baby gifts the people have given us." Emma: "Yeah, but that was before Morgana reminded everyone that I killed Arthur." Regina: "Oh, no one cared about that bearded buffoon when he was alive, why should they care about who killed him?"

Emma: "Hm. You know, it might not be so bad. Do you remember the first time we had a friendly wager between us?" (Emma conjures a piece of paper into her hand and gives it to Regina. Looking at it, Regina sees that it is an old poster depicting Emma as a firefighter with the words 'Vote Swan For Sheriff' written on it.) Regina: (Smiling:) "I remember very well." Storybrooke. Past. Mayor's Mansion. Night. (Answering the door, Mayor Mills opens it to find Sheriff Swan standing on her porch.) Regina: "Miss Swan, it's late." Emma: "Is Henry asleep?" Regina: "Yes, why?" Emma: "We had a bet, winner take all. (Puts on a large fireman's helmet:) I've come to collect." Regina: "What the- Ahh! (The mayor gives out a yell as she is lifted over Emma's shoulder into a fireman's lift. Struggling momentarily with the door, Emma closes it and heads towards the staircase. In a hushed voice:) Emma put me down, this is ridiculous!" Emma: "Sorry, can't do that." (Emma readjusts her grip, so that one hand is now firmly squeezing Regina's ass. Resigning herself to this indignity, Regina ceases any pretense of a struggle. As they travel across the hall however, one of Regina's shoes falls noisily to the floor just outside Henry's bedroom door.) Regina: (Her voice serious:) "Put me down, I mean it." (Emma lets her down. Straightening her dress, Regina takes a deep breath before slowly turning the handle and gingerly enters her son’s room. Seeing that Henry is still fast asleep, she backs out of the room and closes the door.) Emma: "Well?" Regina: (Nods:) "He's still asleep." Emma: "Good." (Immediately, Emma scoops Regina into her arms and resumes carrying her across the hall.) Regina: "Well this is much better." Emma: "Yeah, but you're so fun to mess with." Regina: (Reaching her bedroom:) "I'm even more fun to fu-" (The door closes sharply behind them.) Wonderland. Present. (Walking past a sign that reads ‘Dead End of the Queen’s Road’, Ella continues undeterred.) Ella: (Reading more signs:) "‘Abandon all hope ye who enter.’ I'd have to have hope in order to abandon it. (Seeing yet more signs:) Seems like an awful waste of wood, when one sign would do. I mean, is it really that bad? Worse than finding out your mother-in-law killed your mother? (Reaching the end of the path, Ella sticks out her hand into the darkness which ripples like a wave, enveloping her fingers. Gasping, she removes her arm:) Okay, Ella, a little bit of darkness might be just what you need.” (Taking a deep breath, she steps inside the darkness and disappears.)

#sq #swan queen #swanqueen

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