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all-purpose-dish-soap · 7 days

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1.8k / 24 / soap soulmate au, part 4

...

Price takes a seat opposite you. Ghost stands behind him, massive arms crossed. Price folds his hands together.

"Tea?" he asks.

You say nothing.

"Ghost, go get us some tea."

Ghost leaves. Price examines you, drumming his fingers against the table. He acts friendly. But he's not playing. You have no doubt he'll extract the information he needs by any means necessary. You need to make sure he doesn't figure out which of your buttons to press.

"You're Soap's girl," he says.

You say nothing. His stare presses in on you as heavily as the silence, pushing your back into your seat.

"Who is he to you?"

You shift, uncomfortable in your chair. "A stranger." You roll your shoulders as if trying to shrug off the implications. "An enemy, ostensibly."

Price leans closer. "You kiss your enemies often?"

Not until Johnny walked into your patrol path.

"Left quite the impression on Soap. You made a bit of a mark on Ghost, too. Not that it’s hard." Price leans back, giving you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "He’s got a soft spot for Soap, hm? So he doesn't want you hurt. Doesn't want Soap put out."

You remain silent, but it doesn't seem to bother him. He studies you, utterly calm. He's trying to read you. It's obvious he has some kind of game plan, and now he thinks you have one, too.

"Weren't quite planning to walk into someone like him, were you? Things happened, didn't they? Things you had to work through."

"No."

"Really. 'Cause with the way you're acting, I'd wager you had different plans for yourself. Now you're all twisted up in this. Plans got ruined because he came along. Maybe you've got your own plans, hm? Got a whole life back home. A career, clearly. Nice little house. Maybe you've got a boyfriend already."

"What do you want?" you grit out.

"Access, love," he says, like this whole interrogation is just a pleasant chat. That new base of yours, the one Graves commandeered. How do you like it?"

"Barely seen it."

"I imagine you're rather busy lately, then. Lot on your mind. Shepherd must have you working hard." You notice a muscle twitching in his jaw. He has an iron grip on his temper. "But you saw enough of it to get a good look around, hm? The layout, the security, the systems. Tell me about it."

"I don't know anything."

"Nothing?" He leans forward again. He doesn't seem to like that answer. "The security cameras. The guards. The patrols. The sensors." His voice is low. "You don't know anything about those?"

"Didn't ask."

"Hm." His shoulders lift in a slight shrug as the expression on his face hardens further. "You didn't ask." He repeats. "Didn't ask. Didn't ask..." Then he pauses, staring through you. He leans back again. "No, of course not. You follow orders. You do your job. Can't fault you for that." He speaks with a cool tone, but there's a tightness in the lines of his jaw as he says it. "And now you're here and your buddies are gone. Just you. The only target left." He lets the silence stretch out. "Do you think Graves'll come for you?"

"No."

"Hm. Why not?"

"I'm a nobody."

"Hmmmmm." His smile doesn't change, but the lines around his eyes shift as if he finds that amusing. "And you're perfectly content with that? With knowing that when you walk into that base every day, you'll just be another body for Graves to throw onto the heap?”

You hold his gaze. "Yes."

"You don't think you're worth more than that?"

You say nothing.

The smile is still there, but his eyes narrow. He's judging you. Judging your worth. You hold his gaze. He seems to recognize something in you--that you're telling the truth. You know what you are. You're a mercenary. You're expendable.

"You must have a low opinion of yourself." He sighs, crossing his arms and settling a little further into his chair. "You've accepted you're not walking out of this base, then."

You nod.

Price examines you, eyes narrow and intense. Peeling you apart. You're certainly not an idiot. Smart enough to know you're expendable; loyal enough to take orders, keep your mouth shut, and follow through without asking questions. Not the type of soldier he prefers, but in the right hands, you'd be lethal.

Tough to crack, too. He rubs his chin. Hard to threaten someone who doesn't have anything to lose.

Two sharp knocks on the door herald Ghost, who slips back inside and closes the door. He's not carrying tea.

"Might want to pick up the pace," Ghost says. "Soap's back."

You stiffen, as much as you try not to show it.

Price's gaze flicks over to you, noting the tensing of your shoulders. "He knows?"

"Affirmative, sir. Someone outside must've seen her mark and tipped him off."

At that moment, there's a banging on the door. Johnny's voice echoes from the other side. "LT!"

Hearing it is a punch to the gut.

Soap keeps knocking. "Ghost, get yer lyin' arse out here!"

Price looks at Ghost and nods toward the door. "Go on, then, handle it."

Ghost curses under his breath and slips outside.

"Hell's fuckin' bells, LT, what's goin' on?"

Ghost's reply is too low and muffled to catch.

"Busy with what?" Soap snaps. "I know she's here. I need to see her."

Ghost's reply this time sounds harsher.

"Like hell I'm not. That's my goddamned soulmate, aye? My girl. I've got a right to see her. You'll not keep me from the one person in the whole bloody world that's mine."

"Captain's interrogating her." Ghost's tone is low and loud now, a warning. "You don't get special privileges with her."

Soap lets loose a string of colorful curses. You can make out roughly half of them through his accent. "What does Price think she's got that's so bloody important I don't get to know about it?"

"She's a Shadow, Johnny. Chrissake."

"Aye, an' she's in that room goin' it alone. She needs me."

Your heart twists in your chest, and it forces out a breath you didn't know you were holding. It's eating at your resolve. Just hearing him speak about you is making you want things you shouldn't. He sounds like he wants to protect you. Like you're worth something to him. You try to shake it out of your head. You're a prisoner here. This isn't a love story. He doesn’t love you. He doesn't know you.

Then you look up, and your blood goes cold. Price is staring at you, and he's smirking.

His eyes move over you, dissecting you piece by piece, and you feel your expression revealing too much. He saw your mask slip. He saw what you're concealing.

"I'll be damned." His smirk grows. "I thought Shadows were all cold-blooded bastards."

Your mouth twitches like it wants to bare teeth. "Go to hell."

"Ghost," he calls mildly at the closed door, "get in here. And bring Soap, would you?"

No no no no. Panic washes over you. You pull at your cuffs, feeling yourself lapse into a freeze response. Not Johnny. You can't face him. You try desperately to get a grip on your body's reaction, to remember your training.

You turn your head away from the door and fix your eyes on the opposite corner of the room. Among the many rifles and launchers racked on the walls, you find a pistol and you concentrate on it as hard as you can. You study the polish smudged near the mouth of the barrel. The scarred grip.

Behind you, the door opens.

Soap is across the room in moments. He kneels next to you, his hands falling to your arm, to your shoulder, your neck. His thumb brushes across one of the many cuts on your cheek.

You feel outside of yourself. Soap seems too fixated on your state of being to notice.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ. What did you rat bastards do to my girl?" he growls.

"She did this to herself," Ghost says. He puts his hand on Soap's shoulder. "And we need her restrained while we question her--"

"Back off," Soap warns, brushing his hand away. "Am not dealin' with you right now."

Price cuts in, voice firm. "Soap, cool off. Now."

Soap's temper flashes hot. His jaw clenches. His muscles tense. But he takes a deep, steadying breath. "Aye, Captain," Soap says. He straightens up, his hands falling away from your face. But it's clear his blood is still simmering. "Permission to remove her cuffs."

"Negative," Price says. Soap starts to say something, but Price cuts him off. "No. She's unpredictable. You know that as well as we do. We can't afford to trust her until we understand what Graves' orders are."

Soap curls and uncurls his fists, evidence of the sheer will he's exerting to keep his feet planted where they are. "And what do you expect me to do? Just leave her here? Not say a word to her?"

That smirk curls Price's lips again. "Quite the opposite. I'd like you to do the talking for us."

Price stands and gestures to Ghost again, and Ghost guides Soap by the shoulder over to him. Soap resists on principle for a moment before his mind catches up and he walks stiffly to the other side of the table.

“She has information we need," Price says. "Alejandro, remember? Once that's squared away, we'll need no hostage. You understand me?"

There's a beat of silence.

"You want me to interrogate her," Soap says.

"I want access," Price replies.

"And once I have the information?"

"Then she’s all yours. You can do whatever you like. Let her go. Hell, drive her to the airport if you want. But until then" --Price's hand lands on Soap's shoulder and pushes him down into the interrogator's seat across from you-- "she doesn't leave this room. You understand?"

You feel Soap's eyes on you.

"Fine. I'll do it. But it's gotta be me and her. No one else. You let me do my job the way I know it needs to be done."

"Hm." Price glances at you. You're still concentrating on the pistol on the far wall. "That's just fine. Ghost, let's give 'em some time alone."

Ghost follows Price out of the room, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Sir?" Ghost's voice is low and uncertain.

"Trust me, Soap is the leverage we needed. He'll do just fine.”

Ghost is quiet for a moment. "If he keeps his head on straight."

Price hums in agreement, his smile genuine now. "If he keeps his head on straight."

...

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / [part 4] / part 5

more Soap / masterlist tag

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1d1195 · 5 months

Text

Dolcezza I

You know me and my need for love at first sight.

This is where I’ll keep her: Dolcezza

Warnings: mostly fluff, mentions of stalking

~5.5k words

Definitely multi-part. This part is mostly from the MC perspective. The very end peeks into Harry's brain and the second part will likely pick up more onto his POV.

Hope you enjoy!

“You really don’t need to trouble yourself,” she promised.

Harry turned pausing by the shelf pressed against the wall. “D’you really want me t’leave?” He asked with a frown. “M’sorry. I jus’... really want t’help you, kitten,” he explained. “S’like I need to. S’almost... compulsive... but I’ll leave if y’want me to.”

“No, I’m totally fine, thank you,” she said into her phone.

“Are you sure?” Eleanor asked. “I can send Louis over.”

“No, no, that’s so unnecessary, El. Really. I’ll be fine.”

She could hear her best friend sigh heavily into the speaker. Eleanor was nearly a thousand miles away. She got a new job and while the benefits and everything about it were great, and would make Eleanor wildly successful, she was sadly away from her platonic soulmate. It was extremely hard to let her go. Worse, Louis would be joining her just as soon as he nailed down a new job out there.

But Louis was around for now, which was a great relief for Eleanor. Her best friend was a lot of things, but aware of how scary her situation wasn’t one of them. Louis knew he was essentially filling as best friend for the time being and he was expected to drop everything to get to her aid if Eleanor said so.

But that would only last so long.

Eleanor didn’t want to think about that right now.

She was carrying a box from her car toward the building. Her shoulder pressing her phone to her ear as best she could. Beside the building was a small little alley where her entry way to her new place resided. As much as it killed her to pay for it, she got a whole moving company to bring her furniture in already so at the rest was pretty standard. Her family, God love them, didn’t even think that she might need some help. If anything, she would have had to bribe them into helping her. Even if it was just for the furniture. If Eleanor was in town she would have helped with the boxes and other stray things she had heaped in her car.

Even with Eleanor’s presence closer, she felt alone. Eleanor had Louis and she would never fault her for that. Louis was everything she would want in a best-friend-in-law. But there was always this element of not fully having Eleanor—not like when they were in college and sharing a dorm room. It was different now. Not bad, but different. Her family was great but a little self-centered at times. Part of the problem, she dropped everything to help them whenever they asked but they rarely returned the favor. She did it all, so why would she need help?

Fortunately, moving allowed her to downsize quite a bit so her mid-sized SUV was able to hold almost all of her boxes in one trip from her storage unit to the new place. Maybe, this even helped her explain away her family’s lack of help.

But her brother was either busy working at the college dispatch center most of the weekend or playing beer pong at a frat party. Her sister was so wrapped up in her high school love life or maybe just being the princess her mom and dad made her out to be by never making her do anything of importance. Her parents were probably waiting on her hand and foot without even realizing. If not, they were probably creating some sort of computer-virus havoc on their home computer that for some reason her sister wouldn’t be able to fix. Or maybe they finally started fixing the kitchen up as they said they would for the last year waiting for their oldest to come home and fix all the little things they broke in the process.

If she thought about it too long, she would get annoyed. Her brother and sister were more than capable of helping and they just didn’t. It drove her nuts. So, at the end of it, she couldn’t bother her family for help. Because it barely felt like they could help themselves.

She was lucky because the alleyway wasn’t creepy. Not even at night. The whole street was a dream come true really. Part of her thought that despite the circumstance, this was actually a much-needed move. It was almost lucky that she found such an amazing place. Her own parking space right out front of the building, a coffee shop—a mere stone’s throw from said parking space—almost everything she needed was within walking distance. It was perfect.

Of course, the best and most wonderful selling point of all was by far that her new apartment was right above an Italian restaurant. It smelled like fresh pasta, garlic, and just the most comforting of scents. It reminded her of Sunday’s making meatballs with her dad and watching sports with her brother and sister.

When her coworker Mitch told her about the place, she thought it was too good to be true. But Mitch knew someone who worked at the restaurant. The owner, Antonio, was looking for a tenant after he informed Mitch’s friend that he was outgrowing the space. It was a generous size. But it was meant for a place to stay and keep watch over the restaurant—max two people and that was pushing it. The little place could not support Antonio, his wife, their first born, and another little one on the way. Four people was too big for this place.

But it was perfect for a girl who loved garlic bread and spaghetti who needed a new place and wouldn’t mind the smell of olive oil all hours of the day.

“How did you find this place?” Eleanor asked, her third-degree questioning tone was present in her voice.

“A friend of a coworker,” Eleanor already knew this.

“Mitch?” She clarified.

“Yes, Mom, Mitch,” she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know how you can be so blasé about all this. It’s serious!” She reminded her. “I’m not even there to protect you.”

She didn’t need to be protected. She had a restraining order. The police in the area were well aware of the situation and she was almost always at home or traveling one day a week to work. If she ran errands, it was always in public spaces. She only ever worked out at a public female-only gym. Plus, she had given Louis her location. All of it was nearly a non-issue. “I don’t even know how I got a stalker,” she muttered grumpily. The whole thing was an inconvenience. If it wasn’t for Eleanor, she probably wouldn’t have even gotten the restraining order.

“You’re too nice,” Eleanor reminded her.

She sighed, tired of the story. It had been almost a year since the creepy sensation of the guy following her had started. Eleanor had approached him on more than one occasion to get rid of him. But the whole thing seemed like a bigger deal than it needed to be. The guy was basically harmless; if not just a little bit more on the creepy side. He couldn’t take the hint that she wasn’t interested and had a hard time letting go. He kept a huge distance from her—she wasn’t even sure she knew the color of his eyes from how far away he followed her. If he was around, she hardly noticed. “Well, I’m moving to a whole new place now so it should be fine now.”

“You didn’t tell anyone else about your address change?”

“Nope, just HR,” she promised. “As far as everyone knows I’m still living in that crummy apartment.”

“Well, maybe this is a blessing that you’re out of there anyway,” Eleanor sighed, relief in her voice. “How do you like this place?”

She smiled dropping the box in the middle of the room before she closed the door and descended the staircase back to her car to grab more boxes. “El, it’s literally perfect. It’s like the apartment of my dreams.”

“How come no one at the restaurant wanted it?”

“When you come visit, we can go and ask all the questions—”

As she entered the alleyway from her apartment entrance she was pushed to the ground. The rattling of glass bottles clinked, clattered, and broke on the pavement. She already felt the bruise forming on her tailbone from landing so hard on the ground. In the process she dropped her phone, and she could hear Eleanor shouting from the speaker. “Ouch,” she muttered.

“Don’t move!” She turned to the sound of the guy in the alleyway with her—he was hurrying to his feet having also toppled to the cold, hard ground. He was wearing all black. Short sleeves even though it was a chillier fall day—showing off an array of tattoos that lined his muscular arms. His black pants had fingerprints and handprints of flour on them. There was something dark colored—probably tomato sauce—dried on the half apron around his hips. He clearly worked in the restaurant. The bag of bottles he was previously carrying ripped open and was broken on the ground. “M’so sorry, Principessa,” his voice was smooth and warm. “Antonio told me y’were moving in today. Should’ve been more careful,” he frowned grabbing her wrists without a thought and hauling her to her feet to get her off the cold ground and away from any broken glass. “M’so sorry,” he repeated making sure she was steadily on her feet. He turned her hands over inspecting them so delicately. Like she was the glass that had broken at their feet. “Are y’alright, Principessa?”

The silence coming from Eleanor on her phone was nearly deafening. She blinked a few times as she gazed at the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life. His hair was the color of melted milk chocolate and looked like it had been sculpted of the very substance into the most unfairly beautiful curls any man should have been allowed to have. His cheeks were smooth except for the stubble lining his incredibly sharp jawline. His lower lip was chapped, and she realized how close she was to face to notice such a thing. Probably from the way he was biting it with the worry that he had hurt her. But they were still very rosy—like pink wine and much like the rest of him, very, very pretty.

He picked up her phone out of the debris. Wiping it on his apron then brought it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Oh, God,” she whispered to herself, trying to process the last two minutes. Eleanor was going to lose her mind.

“Uh... m’Harry... She’s fine—I think... Are y’okay, Principessa?” His gaze turned back to her.

It felt like her heart stopped as her eyes connected with the beautiful green ones looking back at her. It was unfair someone like Harry was that pretty.

She nodded, holding her hand out for her phone. He returned it to her immediately and she cleared her throat. “I’m fine, El. Promise.”

“Principessa?!” She gasped. “Oh. My. God.”

“I’ll call you later,” she whispered feeling her face warm as Harry inspected the mess.

“M’sorry, Principessa,” he repeated for a fourth time. If he called her Principessa again though, she might fall right back on her sore tailbone. “Wasn’t expecting you t’come out the door,” he frowned. “Did y’get cut at all?” He asked, scanning her quickly from head to toe. She was dressed for moving on a cool fall day. A chunky sweatshirt, a pair of joggers, and trainers. Her hair was pulled tight to keep out of her face.

She was the furthest thing from looking like the princess that he kept calling her. “Oh...no... I’m alright,” she promised. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Don’t apologize, kitten, s’entirely my fault.”

She shook her head rapidly trying to get some neural networks firing. “Really, I’m okay,” she smiled gently. “I should have watched—”

“M’serious, s’my fault,” he interrupted again.

“Harry, what’s the hold—” Antonio entered the alleyway but stopped his train of thought looking at the pair of them. “Oh, hi, tesorino,” he had called her that a lot since he spoke and met with her. “See you’ve met Harry,” he looked at the broken bag and the glass. “Did he hurt you?” He asked.

“No!” Harry glared at him, a frown adorning his pretty lips and a matching pinch between his brows. Harry looked adorable when he was angry. “I didn’t Principessa, did I?” He turned back to her looking apologetic again.

“No, I’m sincerely fine,” she promised shoving her phone into the pocket of her joggers. “I should have watched where I was—”

“No, no, tesorino,” Antonio shook his head. “It’s Harry’s fault. M’sure.” What kind of reality was this? Antonio reminded her of Louis or a much older brother—maybe even a young dad, but not like her dad. She imagined Louis saying the same kind of taunting thing to Eleanor or even herself. It was surreal. A cute guy bumped into her when she was starting fresh. It was like fate—a new start and a new guy. “I’ll get you a broom, Harry. Make sure she’s alright.”

“Yes sir,” he nodded firmly. Antonio disappeared back to the restaurant to get the broom.

“I’m really fine,” she promised.

Harry was smiling now, he bent down to get the big pieces of glass that shattered and carefully placed them on the broken plastic bag. “M’glad, Principessa,” he hummed quietly.

“Uh...” she smiled awkwardly and stepped to the side. “I should get out of the way...” she trailed off and started for the street to gather more of her stuff.

“Here,” Antonio reappeared with a broom and a new bag, passing it off to Harry. “Tesorino, are you sure you’re alright?” Antonio had an Italian accent. It made her smile and even if she was hurt, she was sure that she wouldn’t—couldn’t feel any pain because it was so comfortable being around an Italian restaurant where people worried about her.

“I’m really, truly fine,” she promised.

Harry was quick to pick up all the glass and took a few steps around the area to catch any of the broken pieces. It seemed this wasn’t the first time this had happened. It was like she was glued to her spot watching Harry take the collected glass down the alleyway to one of the dumpsters. “Do you need help moving your stuff upstairs?” Antonio asked.

“Oh no, that’s alright, I’m fine—”

“Harry, help her with her stuff,” he ordered, ignoring her brush-off. “Her car is out front.”

Harry handed the broom back to his boss and hurried to the front of the building. “Hey!” She frowned and looked at Antonio. “I don’t need help—”

“Tesorino, please. S’no big deal. Harry would be happy to help.” Harry was already coming back with what she knew was a heavy box labeled ‘kitchen’ and heading for the stairs. Truthfully, she was dreading carrying that one, so she was grateful Harry was literally doing the heavy lifting for her but didn’t want him to feel like he had to. “He helped us move our stuff out already and into our new home,” he shrugged. “Come down for some lasagna for dinner,” he said heading back toward the front.

The entire interaction had left her so completely confused. Harry was beautiful and clearly a cook of some sort in the kitchen of the restaurant. Currently, he was up in her new apartment putting her box in the kitchen. Right as she came to the door to head after him, he bumped into her again, reappearing from the door so quickly, she almost fell right back to the ground. This time, Harry caught her around the waist. “M’sorry, Principessa. I don’t know why I keep getting in y’way,” he frowned.

He released her waist just as quickly as he caught her before heading back for her car. The warmth of his arm around her body lingered as she followed him. “You don’t have to help.”

“S’no problem, kitten,” he shrugged grabbing a box labeled ‘bedroom’ that she knew had an array of random things including an assortment of old CDs, a few pictures, and everything from her nightstand—including a box of condoms. Just the knowledge of knowing he was carrying them was enough to make her face warm. She frowned, hurrying to grab a box herself. “Y’don’t have any friends t’help you?” He asked over his shoulder as he made himself at home coming to stop in front of the second door in the little hall at the top of the steps. Beside her apartment was a second office for the restaurant. Antonio assured her that he was the only person who used it and at this point in time, it was mostly storage. Either way, she didn’t mind. The place was a steal and beyond helpful for her new start. Especially with Eleanor breathing down her neck worrying about her.

“I don’t like to bother people with something I can do myself,” she explained quietly while pushing the door out of the way for Harry to enter—but he waited for her to go first. A silent direction in his eyes as he stood still with the box in his hands. After an awkward pause, she went in first.

Unfortunately, she was compelled to fill the silence with more explanation. “My best friend got a new job—so she’s unavailable. She offered her boyfriend but he’s working. My other friends... no one wants to help move. You know?” She explained. But it was hard to hide the catch in her throat while she spoke. No one wanted to help her.

It was weird to have a conversation with Harry like that. It was a little personal, nothing crazy. But apparently, it divulged enough. “S’unfair, Principessa,” his voice was so gentle. “M’sure you’d help if they asked—or even if they didn’t ask.”

How on earth could some stranger possibly know that about her without so much as speaking for more than ten full minutes? There was a jolt of sadness that washed through her. But she pushed it aside and frowned at the stranger who seemed to read right through her without so much as a second glance. “They would help if I asked,” she murmured. But it felt like sand in her mouth as she said it because she knew it was a lie.

Harry didn’t harp on it though. He glanced around the empty space. “Are y’new to the city?” He asked.

“No... not really,” she shrugged. “I used to live just a couple towns over.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “D’you have a lot more?” He asked.

She shook her head. “No, not really. You... you grabbed the heavy kitchen one. So, it should be easy from here on out.”

“Great,” he smiled. “I’ll get Niall, we’ll be done in half an hour.” Harry left her breathless for more than one reason. He hurried back down and stopped outside of the restaurant. She was practically running to catch up.

Dolcezza was written in cursive script above the big window showcasing the beautiful restaurant. Most Italian restaurants always seemed so darkly lit. This one looked so warm and cozy and on the brighter side. It reminded her of her grandparents’ house.

Harry pulled the door open. “Niall!” He shouted. Without waiting for whoever Niall was, Harry turned to her car to grab the next box.

Niall was a little less than half a foot shorter than Harry. His eyes were the color of the sky in the middle of June, and he had an adorable smile. “What’re you doing?” He asked Harry as he walked by with a box. “Hey tesorino,” he winked at her.

“Grab a box,” Harry nodded his head toward the open car and continued for her apartment once more.

What the heck!?

She stumbled to get a box herself and hurried to follow the two guys moving her stuff into her new place. But she had to give credit where credit was due. Harry was right. Thirty minutes, and everything in her car was now in the apartment. Niall headed back to the restaurant without a word, but Harry stayed behind. “D’you need help with anything, kitten?” He asked sweetly.

She couldn’t possibly imagine him helping her more than he already had. “N-no, thank you. That was...really helpful. I can take it from here.”

“Jus’ come grab me from downstairs if y’do think of something, kitten. Antonio won’t mind,” he promised. He smiled at her once more and looked around. His gaze stopped on the tall bookshelf. He walked toward it and looked at each side. He pulled a little bag of screws that were taped to the side and put it in plain view. “Make sure y’anchor that bookshelf before putting books on it. Don’t want it falling on you,” he mentioned kindly. She frowned. In her old place, her bookshelf was recessed into the wall. Having built the new shelf so the movers could take it the other day, she truly hadn’t thought about it. She only taped the little bag to the inside of the shelf so she knew what it belonged to when she created a junk drawer in the kitchen.

“Er... right,” she nodded—unconfidently.

Harry looked her over again, sizing her up, as if he knew she didn’t know how to do that and was too proud to ask. “I’ll come back up before dinner t’do it. D’you have a screw gun and such?”

“I can Google how to do it if I need to,” she assured him knowing that if he didn’t say anything, she wouldn’t do it. “I doubt I can put holes in the wall like that.”

Harry snorted. “Don’t worry, Principessa, I’ll tell Antonio. He won’t argue.”

“It’s really—”

“M’offering myself, kitten. S’nothing t’worry ‘bout. M’happy t’help. S’no trouble at all.”

It was jarring. That was the only way to describe it. It was as if Harry could read her thoughts and see on her face that she didn’t want to trouble someone on her behalf. “Antonio s’not kidding ‘bout lasagna either, Principessa. He’ll want y’down between five-thirty and six. Come down t’eat or he’ll make me come up here t’get you.”

“Who was that?” Eleanor asked in greeting as she answered the phone.

“Hi Eleanor, the move has been going well. I’m about to start unpacking boxes and arranging everything. How has your day been?” She answered with an eye roll.

“Shut up, tell me about the guy, principessa,” her voice was nearly hysterical. Her tone was almost mocking with the nickname Harry had bestowed upon her. It made her stomach flip to hear even Eleanor say it.

Sighing, she put her head on the counter of her new kitchen. She eyed the heavy box Harry had put there on the floor. “His name is Harry. He works at the restaurant,” she explained. “Antonio had him help me with all the boxes and stuff, his friend Niall too.”

“I don’t care about that. What does he look like?!” The pause was telling. She knew it. “Wow,” Eleanor sighed. “He is so hot, you’re speechless.”

Rolling her eyes again, she was glad Eleanor couldn’t see her cheeks burning red at the correct assumption. “He’s cute,” she managed.

“Oh puh-lease,” she gasped. “What a cute little story you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren.”

“Can you relax? I talked to him for twenty minutes and mostly about moving.”

“Mostly?!”

“Sweet Jesus,” she sighed pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes trying to think of the fastest way to get rid of her friend from making her crazy. “He correctly identified that I have shitty friends who wouldn’t help me move even if I had asked. He also got his friend Niall to help with the boxes in my car. And when I came back from the storage unit with a second load, they ran out in the middle of a lunch rush to help anyway.”

“You could sell movie rights,” Eleanor sighed dreamily.

She rolled her eyes. “His boss made him help.”

“His boss made him call you principessa too?”

“He called me kitten too.”

“Oh, you’re so going to marry him.”

“I have to unpack my house now.”

“What does he smell like?”

“You are insane.”

There was a knock on her door.

“Wonder who that is,” Eleanor practically sang. She glanced at the stove clock. It wasn’t even five o’clock. Not time to head down for lasagna. After the crazy afternoon she had, she wanted to make sure she didn’t give a reason to the funny cooks and owner downstairs that were helping her a reason to waste their time with her. She truly planned to head down for lasagna as they asked. But part of her thought Harry was joking about the bookshelf.

With the phone still against her ear, she pulled the door out of the way and found Harry. He was not joking. There was a screw gun at his side. “Hi Principessa,” he grinned so brightly it made a dimple in both cheeks appear. “M’gonna anchor y’bookshelf and then take y’down t’get lasagna,” he maneuvered right by her without so much as an okay.

“You really don’t need to trouble yourself,” she promised.

“Don’t you dare let him leave,” Eleanor said to her ear, her voice was practically a sigh. She and Harry stood feet apart gazing at one another.

But it felt so bad getting help from Harry. “Well...er... if you’re really sure it’s not a bother,” she murmured.

“Not at all, Principessa,” he smiled. “Promise,” he nodded. “S’jus’ a couple minutes and then I’ll bring y’down.”

“Eleanor, I gotta go.”

“I can’t wait to give my maid of honor speech at your wedding.”

She hung up on her friend. Harry was quick. He was shifting the bookshelf away from the wall. He snagged the little package of screws taped to the side. “Can I help?” She asked tossing her phone on the couch.

“I think m’alright, principessa. Thank you,” he said kindly, like he wasn’t doing her a favor by doing this. It was quiet while he worked. At one point he did drop one of the little screws and she was quick to grab it and place it in his hand for him. “Thanks, kitten,” he hummed quietly. His expression was so concentrated as he fixed up the shelf.

It wasn’t much, honestly. She knew that. It was just a bookshelf. But it was somehow so much more. Her heart felt so out of place. Her throat felt tight with emotion bubbling to the surface. No one had ever done anything like this before. A near stranger at that. Probably because it was so much more. It was a worry about her safety which people nearly forgot—unless they were Eleanor and by extension Louis.

She turned away briefly and busied herself with pulling throw pillows from the box labeled living room. Harry hummed quietly to himself. It was soothing. For a moment she forgot about who she was and that she had moved because she had a stalker. If she was a little more vulnerable feeling, she might have cried. It wasn’t the time, but she felt like she had known Harry her whole life. But she had barely spoken more than a hundred and fifty words to him. It was feeling extremely domestic in her new place even though hardly anything was unpacked.

The whole place was one wide open room kitchen and living area. There was a little space she designated for a table for sitting at and along the front wall by the window she planned on putting her desk. There was so much she needed to do. There were three doors along the back wall of the apartment. A bathroom, a bedroom, and a little alcove where a washer and dryer resided. She was lucky the owner lived here previously as she was certain there wouldn’t be a washer and dryer otherwise and that may have deterred her from taking the place. The idea of lugging her laundry up and down the stairs to a laundromat was not something she wanted to do in her late twenties.

“Oh crap,” she frowned. Realizing her state of being at the thought of walking up and down the steps all day.

Harry paused and turned to her. “Y’okay, principessa?” He frowned as well. His eyes looked her over with worry.

“Yeah...no, I just... I have to change before I head down there,” she sighed.

Harry smiled and turned back to his task. He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Oh, y’could go like that, I think y’look beautiful,” he said sweetly.

Her heart rate took off rapidly. She could feel her cheeks warming but she knew her hair was pulled back and little pieces had frizzed and fallen from the elastic. She knew she was sweaty and there was simply no way she looked beautiful.

She snorted awkwardly. “Uh...thank you,” she cleared her throat. “But I would feel better if I changed.”

“I’ll wait outside, then,” he promised. “Jus’ finishing this last bit,” he murmured his attention focused on securing the screws perfectly.

“I’ll be quick,” she promised.

“Take y’time, principessa. M’in no rush,” he stood after finishing the final bit. He stepped back outside the apartment. God, he was nice. It had to be the fastest time she had ever gotten ready for anything. Changing out of comfy clothes and into jeans and a blouse that she would wear to her team meetings, so it didn’t look like she was wearing pajamas to work. She slipped on a pair of the first presentable ankle boots she could find a pair of in the box of shoes that was still unpacked. After she found a clip to pull her hair back in a more presentable fashion.

“Oh, wow,” Harry smiled dreamily as she stepped into the hall and locked her door. “Didn’t know y’could get any more beautiful. In less than five minutes too. M’gonna faint when y’have more than a minute,” he smiled and headed down the stairs as if he hadn’t just stolen her heart.

She was a little surprised he went down the stairs first, but she was grateful because maybe he wouldn’t be able to tell she was shaky and gripping the railing to keep her upright after Harry’s sweet compliment. But she realized it was merely so he could open the door carefully and make sure she wouldn’t bump into someone in the alleyway. Once he decided the alleyway was cleared, he gestured for her to exit first. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“For what, kitten?” He smiled as he closed the door behind him.

“Being helpful and nice. I... I’m not really used to that,” she admitted.

The grin on his face was kind. He shoved his freehand in his pocket and shrugged. “Happy t’help y’principessa,” he winked and headed for Dolcezza, surely to open the door for her first.

“Why did he name it Dolcezza?” She asked following behind him.

Harry smiled and glanced over his shoulder to wink at the pretty girl. “It means sweetness. Antonio met his wife when he was studying business, called her la mia dolcezza. He always wanted t’own a restaurant but never knew what t’name it. He knew the second he met her,” he shrugged. “S’a cute story.”

“Very sweet,” she smiled as she walked by Harry to enter the warm and homey restaurant. She was correct in her assumption that he would hold the door open for her. He chuckled at her joke.

There was something about the girl he literally bumped into and proceeded to fall for instantly physically and emotionally. He wasn’t lying when he said it was compulsive to help her. The warmth he felt inspecting her hands for injury and the worry he felt when she didn’t seem sure of anchoring her bookshelf. The thought that she was just above the restaurant that he nearly lived at more than his own place was comforting. A tug on his heart he didn’t know where it came from but couldn’t help it. Harry had never felt such an emotion like this for someone he had just met. It was like he had known her his whole life and he hadn’t spent more than an hour in total speaking to her. But he wanted to spend forever talking to her now that he had a glimpse of someone so beautiful and gentle.

It took every bit of inner strength for Harry to refrain from telling her he would name every child, every restaurant, anything he could name, he would dedicate to her.

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever @harrysxcarolina @haarrrys @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles

Dolcezza: @matildasatellite

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

#harry #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction writing #dolcezza

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jarofstyles · 7 months

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FICTOBER DAY 6- Do You Believe in Soulmates?

Hello and welcome to day 6 of fictober. I hope you enjoy a little semi spooky blurb from us...

FICTOBER Prompt list and masterlist

Patreon

WC-1.2k

Warnings- wolves

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“Do you believe in soulmates?” The words floated on the warm night air to Y/N’s ears. She laid beside him on the blanket, looking up stars. It was the third night in a row that they’d continued their stargazing, Harry arriving to her home and promising to have her back safe and sound to her roommate before driving over to the lookout point over the lake.

Y/N was new to town, looking for a new beginning, and Harry had found her on her worst day. Only 2 months in, she had been burnt out. Tirelessly writing her book at night and working at the cafe during the day for just enough for her rent, bills and some food here and there. If she didn’t get her free meals at the cafe, she knew she would be in an even worse spot- but she had left a place that had been dulling her life, keeping her tied and rooted with no place to grow. Leaving had been the best option.

The lake town was tucked into the foothills of the mountains, A nice summer tourist population and a small, tight knit group of locals she was trying to find her place in. The weave was strong and the things seemed to be established, so she was trying to find a nice spot in between to settle- but her hanging out with Harry had made some waves. His family was a long time legacy, basically built the town up. He wasn’t much of a socializing type besides his small, even tighter group of friends, so when he was seen walking around with the new girl in town? It had spread like wildfire. It never ceased to amaze her how fast small towns spread gossip to the trees to set the rumor mill ablaze.

She had been informed that Harry didn’t date around, he didn’t sleep around despite people being more than obvious in their interest. A coworker had divulged that she knew his family was apparently part of some sort of exclusive group with a share of other families in town and the surrounding era. It was all hush hush, but Y/N knew that it wasn’t her business. If Harry had his secrets, it was okay. She did too.

Like how meeting him had given her the inspiration on what to model her male character on in her book.

“I’m a romance novel author, Harry.” She rolled her head to the side. “Of course I do. It’s the best trope there is.” She laughed, looking back up at the stars. Sometimes his stare was a bit intense and made her squirmy. He always seemed to be looking. Somehow, she didn’t mind.

“What do you like about it?” He asked, turning over on his side a bit as she continued looking up.

“Theres a lot. I love the idea of unconditional love, but I know that isn’t realistic. So I think I like the thought that someone is meant for me. That there isn’t something wrong with me for always feeling like something is missing in my partners thusfar. I love that whole thing. Feeling like you were made for someone, that they’ll just get you and how you feel… It’s always been something I wished was something for me. But I hope one day I can meet mine.” Her sigh was dreamy, smiling at the sky as Harry continued staring at her.

“Maybe you already have.” His voice was calm, just as it normally was, his eyes on her expression as he continued. “Well.. What if being with them required sacrifices? If life wouldn’t be different?” His words were ominous but Y/N was a bit oblivious. She always had been, full of wonder and stuck in her own brain. His question was one that had her mind whirling around, colorful thoughts throwing themselves at the walls until one stuck.

“I mean, every good love story requires sacrifice. It’s part of every single good storyline, every memorable romance.” She laughed, nudging his foot with her own. “And I suppose life is never the same after meeting anyone but especially a soul mate. Someone the stars bound to you. The cosmos and the moon, powerful things they are.” She didn’t know just how correct that was. “I’d still want to be with them, yeah. Any relationship takes work and adjustments. I think it would be more than worth it for a soul mate-”

Y/N gasped as she was interrupted by the howl of wolves off in the forest. Shivers hit her body, chills hitting her skin as the sound reverbed off the trees, the full moon in the sky seeming doubly as bright. There were trees on either side of them and her nerves shot into her stomach. It sounded so close. Sitting up, her widened eyes met Harry’s. His body hadn’t moved, hadn’t even stiffened. Oddly, she thought he saw him relax at it. “Uh- should we go? That sounded really close, and I’m no expert but that’s probably not good.” Her nervous hand wringing was a distraction, Harry gently pulling one of them from her own grasp, urging her back down.

“I’m not afraid. It’s okay. The wolves are misjudged. They don’t want to hurt humans.” He spoke confidently. “The humans are the ones attacking first. It’s probably different in other places but here, we respect the wolves and they leave us be.” His words were spoken as if he knew this for a fact. Y/N oddly believed him, despite knowing it was going against all logic she had.

“Oh, alright. I always thought wolves were beautiful but I try and keep a respectable distance. You know?” She tucked a bit of hair behind her ear, sitting back in her original spot as she tried to calm her heart down. The howling was moving further away, and Harry’s calmness was contagious.

“Yes. You’re one of the smart ones. In this town, the relationship with the wildlife is different. We all respect the creatures and nature’s course.”

“Oh!” Y/N gasped. “So that’s part of why there was a questionnaire everyone filled out while filing their documents at town hall, then. Wanting to make sure people knew that. Smart. I don’t know why people wouldn’t accept that, though. It should be like that everywhere.” Y/N sighed, shaking her head. “And do you like them, then? The wolves?”

She didn’t think it was that funny, but the smile that grew on his face and the little burst of laughter made her own smile tilt up the corner of her mouth. The man’s dimples were on display, teeth pearly white and crinkles by his eyes. Harry was attractive- anyone could see that- but to see him light up like that because of something she said? She felt his smile deep in her core. “Well…” He laughed through another howl. “You could say that.”

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flightfoot · 2 months

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Fanfic Recs For Queer Miraculous Fics Completed In 2023

There are a lot of Miraculous fics out there that center around queer pairings or just generally queer themes, so I figured that people might like a reclist for a bunch of queer fics! All of these come from the fic rec lists I came out with earlier in the year of the best Miraculous fics overall from 2023, so if you want to see more fics I recommend, you can check out the collection I set up!

The Universe is an Accidental Ally? by @lostinthe–stars

‘As it turned out, the universe was very homophobic. Or very into overpopulation. Either way, this was bad news for Adrien’ <3 Adrien is dreading his soulmate, just hoping for the best that whoever it is, is down for being platonic soul mates. Luck, for once, is on his side. <3 Just a short soul mate AU oneshot, with a bit of a different spin on things.

This was hilarious! The universe might be homophobic, but it’s terrible at it XD.

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Confession Plans of Questionable Sanity by yellow14

Nathanael Kurtzberg has a confession to make. He’s in love with his big classmate Ivan. With the help of Marc, Marinette, Adrien and Nino, he’s going to confess, using increasingly complicated schemes. Marc meanwhile, is busy coming up with even more complicated schemes to sabotage those schemes so he can confess HIS feelings for his redheaded friend. Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with this, right? Written for the March 2023 gift exchange on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord forum for CassieTheweirdWolf.

This fic’s just really funny. These kids love to make things waaaaay harder than they need to be. But hey, everything ends up working out in the end, even if it’s not the way they planned!

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All Of Them? Every Single One? by @liiinerle

It turns out that Marinette loves a lot more people than she’d initially thought.

This is hilarious and adorable. Tikki lays out how Marinette has a crush on basically every girl she’s met - and even girls she doesn’t know are girls yet XD.

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Anchor by @liiinerle

“Marinette. Please take that sabre out of your neck.” “Right. Thanks. I forgot it was there.” She grabbed hold of the guard and pulled; the blade slid out like it had only been run through butter. After dropping it on the floor, she picked up one of the teacups and picked up a biscuit from a tin she’d brought in; she placed the biscuit on the saucer plate and handed the whole thing to Kagami, who could only really resign herself to accepting it. —– Marinette has raised Kagami from the dead, and also happens to be dead herself. It turns out some bad choices were made in the past. But that doesn’t mean they’ll lead to bad outcomes for them now.

I love this, Marinette’s incredibly blase about being a zombie - which makes sense, given how long she’s had to get used to the idea. And she’s waited so long, tried so hard to bring Kagami back as well, though if she didn’t WANT to be back, she’d accede to that request. Luckily, Kagami doesn’t seem to mind as long as she’s with Marinette XD.

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Emotional Mountain Ranges by @liiinerle

After Zoé’s attempted romantic confession to Marinette is interrupted by an incensed Chloé and Audrey Bourgeois, she’s left distraught and adrift, a crying mess in an alleyway far from home. Ladybug saves her from the incoming akuma, and tries to help her back on her feet - and Zoé wonders what she could possibly have done to earn this much attention from a superhero…

Lovely Zoenette fic here! I especially like how Marinette talks to Zoe, reassures her that she’s good enough, that she (as Ladybug) isn’t as perfect and composed as she thinks, and just… tries to get Zoe to have more confidence in herself. It’s mostly from Zoe’s perspective too, which I like since there aren’t a lot of Zoe POV fics.

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You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess by @mexicancat-girl

With Team Miraculous now full-time holders, Ladybug has them patrolling in pairs like her and Chat Noir. New partners Pigella and Purple Tigress get along phenomenally, their easy banter and similar wavelengths making working with each other a joy in and out of combat. But sometimes Tigress is surprised just how close she is with her partner. Sometimes she tries not to feel too guilty thinking about it.

There’s some nice Julerose here! I love them kinda getting into a lovesquare with each other, though it’s not as much of a problem as it is in canon since it’s reciprocal in every relationship and they’re both down for a poly. It’s fun, and I love the “Luka attempting to woo some of his love interests” plot going on in the background XD.

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the best laid plans (of bugs and bakers) by @mexicancat-girl

Paris is buzzing with the appearance of a new ladybug-themed hero, Scarabella. Alya decides to use her second hero identity to help her best friend Marinette. A bit of her flirting with Marinette is bound to make Marinette’s crushes jealous and finally ask her out! Her plan is fool-proof…! Except when it’s not. Not enough people are talking about Scarabella flirting with Marinette. How can Alya properly help her best friend if the news can’t be bothered to cover Marinette’s budding romance with Scarabella and only posts things about Marinette with Chat Noir?! So Alya puts her all into her plan, upping up her flirting each time she appears as the newbie hero Scarabella. This totally does not backfire in any way.

I adore fics that center on Alya, I haven’t exactly been shy about that fact. This is a nice one for some Alyanette adorableness! (And some Scarabella and Chat banter, I really enjoyed reading that as well). “Fake” flirting to make crushes jealous tends to turn real very quickly, and this is no exception. It’s hilarious, Alya’s the last one to figure out that her romantic relationship with Marinette is very much real XD.

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Within Your Heart by Inkyibis

It’s Valentine��s Day and Ladybug just wants to her superhero partner to find his love. And what she wants, the Lucky Charm will create. If only she could remember what it is she did last night.

Adrino fic here! Marinette’s drunk and feeling awful that her superhero partner is alone on Valentine’s (she’s in a loving and committed relationship with Alya), so she creates a Lucky Charm to help Chat find love! In this universe, Ladybug’s Lucky Charms have the power to create new rules for the universe to follow, such as making one that demands that if you have any magic in you, you have to tell the truth or else you’ll freeze. Or in Adrien’s case, that he has to wake up in the arms of his true love every day XD. It’s very sweet and I love both Adrien’s and Nino’s relationship, and the relationship between the rest of the Miracuteam members as well, even though that’s not the focus.

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Rocking the Cat-Eyes by @buggachat

“I like being a girl.” “That’s the alcohol talking,” Marinette snorted. “I’ve always been a li’l jealous,” Adrien admitted. “… Of what?” “That you get to be a girl,” Adrien murmured, “and I don’t.” — When Marinette and Adrien host Girls’ Night at their apartment, Adrien is easily welcomed to attend as “one of the girls”… but has a bit too much to drink. Some drunken confessions are spilt, some assumptions are made, and most of all… Adrien is confused.

This is a great Genderfluid!Adrien fic. Marinette actually figures out that Adrien’s not entirely cis before he does, and tries to let him know she’s supportive… but unfortunately Adrien comes to some incorrect conclusions…

Anyway it’s a lot of fun, and Adrien rocks a dress and makeup!

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Swimming in Circles by @generalluxun

Life has moved on for Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s not where she thought she would be seven years ago, but she’s still in a good place. Classes, hobbies, friends, her life is full despite the lingering shades of her faded yet sweet middle-school romance. Then just as quick at the first time, someone drops into her life and turns her into an absolute mess once more. Love and crushes might be her undoing, but she’s got a little more experience this time to weather the storm. This fateful stranger stirs memories as well as emotions inside of her, and with a forthrightness her old self would be jealous of, Marinette takes the plunge.

So this is a Trans fic, with Marinette’s new crush being a trans version of a certain classmate who she doesn’t recognize, who’s changed a lot, for the better. I like how it deals with the baggage she has with that person, has her think that through.

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Three’s company by @torvalvt

Kagami has been doing her best for years to ignore her feelings for her friends. It doesn’t help that Adrien and Marinette insist on spending as much time as possible with her, even going so far as inviting her along on their dates together. If only the affection she felt for them wouldn’t get in the way of their relationship. Because it is growing harder and harder to tamp down her feelings with how close they are getting to her.

This is adorable. Adrien and Marinette really want Kagami to join their relationship and she just doesn’t dare hope for it. If you want some adorable Adrigaminette from Kagami’s perspective, I recommend checking this fic out!

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The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you) by @bbutterflies

“He’s dating me,” Nino said, taking Adrien’s hand in his own.

Adrien could only stare back at him in shock.

“How dare you all force him to come out?” Nino continued, glaring at the reporters. “That was disgusting.” He pulled Adrien over to the car, guided him in, and shut the door behind them.

In the relative quiet and privacy of the backseat, Adrien finally processed what had just happened. “So… when were you going to tell me we were dating?”

This Adrino fic is delicious XD. Reporters keep hounding Adrien about his love life, so Nino finally gets them off Adrien’s back by fake-dating him. Problem is, Adrien’s actually been madly in love with Nino for years but has never been able to tell him. And now as they’re spending more time together, Nino’s beginning to find that he’s enjoying all these “couple” activities more than maybe he ought to if it’s entirely platonic...

If you want to see Adrien and Nino PINING for each other while “fake” dating (is it really fake if both parties want it to be real?) then you’ve come to the right fic!

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Evillustrator Reimagined by onewaywriteturn

A full, mostly-standalone rewrite of the episode "The Evillustrator".

Nathaniel never planned to tell anyone about his secret crush on his friend Marc, but his world changes when Chloe picks up his sketchbook and mocks his art in front of the whole class, inadvertently outing him as bisexual. Now as the Evillustrator, he has two objectives: to take vengeance on Chloe for what she did to him and to go on a date with Marc for his birthday.

At the same time, Marinette is already struggling to defend Sabrina from Chloe when she learns of the Evillustrator's crush on Marc, one of her good friends. And while getting Marc involved with an akuma fight is messy enough, the fact that Marc has secretly liked Nathaniel for a long time complicates the situation so much more.

If you ever wanted to see Evillustrator rewritten to focus around NathMarc, this is the fic for you! The two of them just PINE for each other so hard and are so convinced that the other person couldn’t possibly actually want to date them, even with Evillustrator making it uh. Exceedingly obvious XD.

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In Direct Opposition by @generalluxun

Alya Cesaire is a brand new student to Francis Dupont, to Paris even. The first student she meets is one Chloé Bourgeois, and Alya is determined to make a friend. Things advance Chaotically. Her new 'friend' is definitely a handful, and suddenly Paris has a supervillain and two brand new superheroes! Alya finds herself balancing a lot of things, trying to live up to her ideals and those of her icons.

And then reality seems to contradict itself.

As time progresses it seems to happen more often. Becoming a hero, battling villains, staying alive, working through friendships. Something is lurking, tweaking events at times, changing them, and no one seems aware. Alya will need all her wits to get to the bottom of this. Her investigative mind can only get her so far though, and then she needs to rely on her friends. This is not a foe you can beat head on.

I betaed this entire fic, it’s really good! I adore the focus on Alya’s philosophy here, her determination to be a hero, to help people and defeat evil - and that defeating evil means trying to reform the people doing bad things when possible, to try to save EVERYONE, even the “villain”. I thought it was really clever the ways Alya would redirect Chloe and subtly encourage her to be a better person, while also trying to get the people around her to give her a second chance and keep an open mind.

Also Alya and Chloe are an adorable sapphic couple XD.

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Chemistry With Him by @bbutterflies

It kind of sucked Nino was taking chemistry, but classes had filled up fast and he needed to take something and his advisor had said the credits would, somehow, count towards his major. It really sucked he was taking it first thing on a Monday morning (and Wednesdays, and Fridays, unfortunately). But he could get through it. He knew he could.

So no more boys. No distractions. He could do this all on his own.

“Is anyone sitting here?”

Nino looked up to find the source of the voice. A blond, green-eyed, absolutely beautiful someone.

Okay. Maybe one distraction.

Ah, adorable Adrino. This is a universe where Adrien never went to public school, so while Chat Noir, Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge all know each other (and Marinette, Alya, and Nino all know each other’s identities) they’re unaware that they are all already friends with Adrien. I loved seeing Chat and Carapace excitedly tell each other about their awesome crush/boyfriend, not knowing they were talking about each other XD.

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Accidents Are Also Miracles by @liiinerle

After a few turbulent days where four new people discover her secret identity, Marinette loses faith in her ability to keep the secret hidden. Wracked with doubts and insecurities, she pleads with Alya to take over as Scarabella, but she still can't let those worries go. Especially not once Monarch starts taking a particular, and personal, interest in her.

Along the way, she also starts to date Kagami, and has to deal with changing feelings about herself, Adrien, Alya, Kagami, and the idea of being Ladybug. At the same time, Alya works to uncover Monarch's secret identity, while Kagami struggles against a controlling parent, and a girlfriend who seems bent on destroying herself - with or without Monarch's involvement.

Fantastic Marigami fic here! You’ve got three major POVs in this fic: Marinette, Kagami, and to my delight, Alya. I loved getting to see Alya cope with taking over as Scarabella especially.

But of course, this fic centers more around Marinette and Kagami, with Marinette struggling with Monarch targeting her, and Kagami struggling against her abusive parent, as well as both of them trying to navigate their relationship together when they know that not everyone will approve.

There’s also some other plots going on in here, like Sabrina breaking away from Chloe and becoming more independent (and closer to Adrien in fact), as well as a Lila takedown plot, though thankfully not one that involves demonizing other characters. While there are conversations about people believing Lila and siding with her, no one’s actually attacked for it except for Lila herself.

Oh yeah, and while this fic may not have much focus on Adrien, he’s still treated fairly and with respect, even when he messes up. He can make mistakes, but people understand where he’s coming from, and are still kind to him and want things to be okay, and to help him escape his abusive circumstances.

#ml fanfic rec #queer #lgbt #lgbtq

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yakuzacanons · 9 months

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I don't know if you're into soulmate AUs but I'm a big sucker for them, they make my brain go brrr sooo, can I request some general headcanons of the boys with a soulmate? Like, how they find their soulmate, how they feel about sharing such a strong connection with someone etc? Can be any soulmate trope you thing suits them best, I ain't picky. (Like, name on wrist, first words they say to each other etc.) :3

Anon this is such a big brain idea, I also go brrrrrrrr. Also I wanna say some of the boys will have different tropes than others, a few might be similar but it's gonna be a mixed bag. I'm also operating under the assumption that everyone in this AU knows and/or is fine with the whole soultmate thing as I imagine it would be kind of ingrained in the culture if that makes sense. So this has more or less ended up as how they find their soulmate/how they react to finding them. I hope that works. Otherwise, headcanons below the cut as always. Had a lotta fun with this one!

Kazuma Kiryu: Matching Scars

Honestly, Kiryu probably has a multitude of scars from...all the stuff he's been through. However, there's one he has on his wrist that he's had basically his whole life. He doesn't really give it much thought until you point it out and say "Hey, that looks just like mine!" before you both realize what it means and the two of you look at each other say at the same time "...OH!" while pointing at each other, like the Spider-Man meme.

Majima Goro: Holding Hands

This is especially wacky because Majima knows how the soulmate thing works but does NOT know that it has to be bare skin to bare skin contact. Basically, his stupid ass is running around the entire time with gloves on, thus getting in the way of him actually finding his soulmate. He'll probably complain about it casually to you one day, to which you look at him rather dumbfounded and say "You know it only works if you take those gloves off, right?" to which he says "Ehh?! Whatcha talkin' about?!". He'll then immediately take off his gloves and hold his hand up to yours to test it out only to realize immediately that you are in fact right. He will then become extremely excited, probably babbling nonsense half of the time and hugging you gleefully.

Saejima Taiga: Name On Wrist

Probably the most neutral about the soulmate thing out of all the boys, not because he doesn't believe in it but because he's never really had time for romance. He's more on the shy side so he won't go pestering everyone he meets that potentially matches the name. You'll probably mention it FIRST and casually mention his name by saying "Mine says 'Saejima Taiga'... never met anyone with a name like that though." to which he will just stare blankly at you, mouth open in shock. Eventually, he'll muster up the courage to respond with "Well, ya won't believe what my name is." while chuckling.

Akiyama Shun: Red String Of Fate

Total romantic sap and loves the whole soulmate thing. Spends a bit more time than he'd admit pining about who his soulmate might be. In his AU, soulmates are found by the red string of fate, a popular tale about being connected to your soulmate by an invisible red string. However, in this AU, your soulmate can actually see your red string if you get into close proximity with them. Akiyama isn't shy so the second he sees the string pop up and can see it's connected to you, he'll run up to you and introduce himself. Think very "Call Me Maybe" type of meet-cute.

Tanimura Masayoshi: Hot And Cold

Similar to the red string of fate, except that this time it is measured by tempurature. Tanimura can tell how far or close he is to you based on how hot or cold he feels, cold being far away and hot being nearby. It's a struggle for him since whenever he does feel warm, he can't always pursue the lead due to being busy with his job. Most likely, he'll accidentally bump into you in the street and suddenly feel incredibly warm and cozy, to which he'll quickly turn around to speak to you, saying something like "Did you feel that just now?".

Ryuji Goda: Revealed In Dreams

Honestly doesn't give a hoot about the soulmate thing. To him, romance will happen whenever it happens. A lot of other people his age when hew as younger started having dreams that revealed hints about their soulmate but Ryuji is a late bloomer, so the whole soulmate thing got pushed further and further into the back of his mind. He'll wake up in a cold sweat one night after finally having the dream, the details of your face burned into his mind. Unlike some of the other boys, he likely already knows you, probably as a childhood friend, and he'll definitely have a moment of "The whole time... they was right in fronta me?!".

Nishikiyama Akira: Matching Birthmarks

Similar to Kiryu's concept, except this appears more like a mole than a scar. They are rather small so it's not something you'd notice as obviously as the scar concept for Kiryu. They also have to line up completely perfectly so Nishiki is prone to meeting people that he thinks might be his soulmate and get excited only to realize they're not. When he does meet his soulmate, his mark will disappear and he'll get rather frantic wondering who out of all the people he met recently was in fact the one that caused this. At some point, he'll mention it by saying "The weirdest thing happened the other night, my mark just disappeared on its own." and you'll respond with "Hey, mine too, that's weird." before the truth finally hits you both. Truthfully, he and Kiryu are both a little dense like that sometimes. Nishiki will be so happy to know you, he might cry a little out of happiness.

Daigo Dojima: First Words

Unlike the other concepts, in this AU people won't know ahead of time what will confirm who their soulmate is. It's something that happens in the moment, a sudden realization. That honestly makes Daigo kind of nervous, since his life has to be carefully calculated given his line of work. The words itself don't have to have particular meaning either, which only makes it more complicated. The second you speak to him for the first time, he feels chills down his spine. He'll ask you to repeat yourself, eyes wide with nervousness, the both of you completely shocked that by some chance, some divine intervention, the two of you ended up in the same room.

Mine Yoshitaka: Dreams Of A Past Life

Believes in making his own destiny which only makes meeting his soulmate feel more impactful, somehow. Mine is so used to going against the tide that meeting you just kind of brings him to his knees. He'll see flashes of the two of you in your past life in his dreams but he won't go out of his way to really dedicate much of it to memory. The first time he meets you, he'll think you look familiar but can't really pinpoint why and he'll dismiss it. The more the feeling nags at him, the more he starts to think maybe there's something more to this. It's only when he asks if you recognize him too that it finally clicks and he understands this is where he's meant to be.

#yakuza #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #ryu ga gotoku imagines #goro majima #majima megaphone moment #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #akira nishikiyama #akiyama shun #ryuji goda #masayoshi tanimura #saejima taiga #mine yoshitaka #daigo dojima #imagines #headcanons

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mistress-of-vos · 1 year

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My favorite part of this it's the very obvious attempt of Manchester to make Lex mad. I haven't have time to read the whole arc but just by these panels you can see that he wants Lex to be angry, he wants Lex to lose control, he wants Lex to be hurt.

(Warning: A lot of text)

"He doesn't think of you" it's a very clear lie. Again and again Superman (Clark) has always thought of Lex as the one behind any crime he comes across with, not to say that Clark also keeps an eye on anything Lex does because he assumes there's a second intention (and I mean, usually there is one). It reminds me a bit of Batman&Joker, with Batman constantly going to visit Joker at Arkham and ask about the crimes outside because on Bruce's mind there's no way Joker isn't involved.

For two heroes who insist they aren't obsessed with their villains, they sure tend to think *a lot* of them and constantly blame them for any crime that happens. Almost as if they wanted them (Lex&Joker) to be fighting once again.

And sure, Clark's emotions about Lex aren't equally intense. Clark is resigned and has been like that for years at this point. Clark convinced himself that Lex couldn't be saved or changed (which is hilarious considering that just some years ago DC did a whole run of Lex playing hero). Clark closed that door of memories and moved on. Clark had to move on, which doesn't mean he hadn't wanted to tell Lex the truth at some point (Smallville explores this so much better that I could do in here).

Lex, in the other hand, *has* to be in a position akin to obsessed. After all, Superman is what stands between him and ruling the world to finally make it change to his image of perfection. However I think here's where Lex is different from Joker: Joker is capable of living without Batman, turning into an agent of chaos and definetely losing his main objective, but he *can* and will keep going without Batman - see Return of the Joker for an example -. Lex? Lex would be lost without Superman.

Not in a literal matter, no. Lex is more than capable than being alive without Superman, and it has been showed that, if given the chance, Lex could create an almost perfect society. But what do you do when you finally have all you want? Lex wouldn't turn into an agent of chaos like Joker does without Batman. Lex would finally create his perfect society, he would have anything he wanted, he would be the most powerful creature. And what would he do then?

What would someone with a mind as intelligent as Lex's do when there's no challenge to defeat? This is also why hero!Lex can work so well: Lex likes to be challenged, his mind too active as to live a normal life as a business man or even president. He needs to be obsessed with a goal, whether it be kill Superman, achieve a perfect world or save people.

Anyway, I find extremely beautiful that even if it was just for a few panels, we got to see this emotional side of Lex again: Clark was his friend, and if you ask me, his soulmate. Clark and Lex were a perfect pair, and both of them ruined it in different ways, yet it was Lex who kept being bitter and kept mourning, while Clark decided to stich up his heart and move on.

Have I told you that Lex's canon reminds me a bit of the new canon regarding Talia? If you look at comics before n52, it was Lex who came off as an ex who was still in love and couldn't quite keep on, while Talia was written as still caring about Bruce but caring way more about her and the world (hence why she tries to destroy Lex). She had moved on and had her own things until recently where writers decided to write her as never getting over Bruce. It's interesting to see as a Lex fan, because Lex 100% has never been able to let go of Clark.

I'm talking too much and it's all to say that I think these panels were brilliant. Lex is exactly the type of person to break down at a lie as big as Clark's identity (again, watch Smallville!) and he would not be able to forgive this. Not easily, at least.

Clark has also been obsessed with Lex, Clark has also been hurt by Lex's lies. But there's something captivating about the proposition that the humble farmer boy decided to heal while the most intelligent man of the world decided to mourn forever.

Lex is the smartest creature of Earth, perhaps even one of the smartest of the universe, and yet he still misses his best friend. He mourns, he craves, he screams for Clark so loud that it hurts him. And he doesn't even know it, because Lex *refused* to see that Clark (his Clark!) was Superman. Lex decided to be blind, and it only made everything hurt so much more when Clark told everyone his secret.

I think that deep down, Lex knew the truth. There's no way he looked at Kon's face and didn't see Clark's soft features. There's no way Lex didn't notice that same smile on Kon that Clark used to have in Smallville. But it was easier to be blind, it was easier to pretend he didn't know.

So yes, of course Lex would get mad. He has been hurting for Superman (Clark) all these years and he gets told that the man doesn't think of him? It's natural that he would get mad. And Lex, as smart as he is, can't see that it's a half-life.

Clark thinks of him. But he doesn't think of Lex as someone to be saved anymore: He thinks of Lex as someone who has to be stopped.

#clex #clark kent x lex luthor #clark x lex #clark kent #lex luthor #dc comics #shipping #meta #analysis #batjokes #kind of

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kattahj · 7 months

Text

More Asian QL reviews! Mostly Thai boys as usual, but a Japanese GL at the end!

KinnPorsche

What's it about? Kinn is the son of a mafia boss. Porsche is a bartender who happens to help him out once, and is then coerced into becoming his bodyguard.

Genre: Mafia action, possibly comedy?

Watch if you enjoy: Mafia tropes. High heat. Belligerent sexual tension that turns increasingly playful with time. Having a very hard time deciding what is or what is not meant to be funny. (I have a feeling some of the stuff I found funny wasn't meant to be.) Emotionally repressed vs emotionally oversharing teenage side couple, with love songs. Kinky dom/sub human pet sidecouple #2. Flamboyant drama queen with mental health issues who may be the most sensible of the bunch. Plot that is all over the place even when it isn't twisty (which it is quite often).

Gayer version of: your local kink club's Bugsy Malone theme night

Recommended? Hm. Yes for its influence, no for actual quality, but yes again if you just want some fun mafia hijinks without having to think or feel too much. And it never gets QUITE as bad again as the first five minutes. In some ways it's the worst of the QLs I've watched so far, but it's more entertaining and memorable than several of them. And ironically, it's one of the shows I've found myself writing fic for.

Watched on: Dailymotion

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZvpNreGVOc

Laws of Attraction

What's it about? Tinn's beloved niece is hit by a car belonging to the son of senator Thatthep. Opportunistic lawyer Chan first works for Thatthep, but soon finds himself asking questions that puts him at odds with the senator. Despite their different outlooks on life, Tinn and Chan may have a common goal.

Genre: lakorn (Thai soap opera), action, drama

Watch if you enjoy: High suspense. Morally grey protagonist. Warm and righteous other protagonist. Changing your mind completely about at least one character. Having your heart broken and then laughing your ass off within a span of ten minutes. Lots of gay side characters, including a pair of badass lesbians. Best grandma currently on TV. Great emotional content. A few laughably bad action scenes and VFX.

Gayer version of: The Pelican Brief

Recommended? Yes! I watched it as it aired and could barely stand waiting for a week between episodes! Just make sure you can cope with dead child, dead dog, dead mom, and parental abuse.

Watched on: bilibili.tv, but it is also up on youtube. (It just didn't add subtitles fast enough for me.)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wo7IKw9dWY

La Pluie

What's it about? A world in which, during the rain, certain people can hear the voice of their soulmate – and ONLY that. But is the soulmate thing really real, or just a way to explain an inexplicable phenomenon?

Genre: Romcom/drama

Watch if you enjoy: Nice people solving their problems nicely and with very little unnecessary drama. Subversion of both soulmate and BL tropes (though ultimately bending to the foregone conclusion). Loving families. Understanding exes. Sometimes a cat.

Gayer version of: I want to say TiMER (2009), but that film was a whole lot messier. This is sweet.

Recommended? Kind of? I think it's well done for what it is, but that twelve hours of low-stakes relationship drama, where every crisis is averted, was a bit long for me personally. Plus, it turns out that I don't like soulmates even when they're being turned upside down and shaken around. But if the premise seems like something up your alley, I thoroughly recommend it!

Watched on: Dailymotion

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz9HG8MGF8M

To Sir, With Love / Khun Chai

What's it about? It's the 1940s, and Thailand is at war. Mr. Song, the wealthy but elderly leader of the Five Dragons association, has two sons with two different wives. Yang is the cheeky rascal, Tian is the obedient and hardworking one. Tian, as the eldest, is set to take over business, and all would be well if not for one little secret: he is gay. If this becomes publicly known, it could ruin the reputation of the whole family.

Genre: soap opera

Watch if you enjoy: More JamFilm after Laws of Attraction, with Film in a radically different role. Brothers supporting each other. Overcoming homophobic surroundings. Rivalling soap queens who will literally walk over corpses for power – and supposedly for their sons, who want none of it. Magic murder mushrooms and other glittery potions. Obedient business heir vs. taciturn assassin gay romance. Feisty het side romance with a lady love who is so sweet and soft spoken that you underestimate what an absolute MVP she is. Acting that ranges from fantastic to terrible. (Looking at you, Nuan!) Absolutely stunning costumes.

Gayer version of: Dynasty, but also I Claudius (what with all the murder).

Recommended? Ye-es? It's more soap opera than BL, so keep that in mind. And there's a lot of Rich People Bullshit. But if you're okay with that, I do recommend it! It ate my brain for several weeks, after all. And if you liked Laws of Attraction, you absolutely MUST see at least a couple of episodes, to experience the whiplash of the difference between Film's roles in those two shows.

Watched on: YouTube

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3goS7DVeto

Gay OK Bangkok (Seasons 1 and 2)

What's it about? A bunch of friends, boyfriends, hookups and acquaintances, and how they handle their relationships and life's other issues.

Genre: slice of life

Watch if you enjoy: People who feel like actual people. Down to earth relationship drama that doesn't necessarily end well for everyone. Compassion towards the characters even if they're sometimes being dicks. Multiple PSAs about HIV prevention. A relatively short run. (Season 1 is 5x30 minutes, season 2 7x45.)

Gayer version of: Oddly enough, I want to say 90s Degrassi. (The fact that Degrassi was the first show I ever saw that handled HIV may have something to do with it.)

Recommended? Yes! Season 1 is absolutely brilliant, and only some technical issues (soundmix, lack of subtitles for written info) kept me from putting it among my absolute favourites. Season 2 has more and longer episodes but less of a red thread, which means that while all the individual scenes are still well written and well acting, the first half in particular feels a little aimless. But it comes back swinging in the last few eps, and I have also seen viewers who preferred season 2 over season 1!

Watched on: YouTube

Trailer (sorry about the double subtitles): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3CJ9PiSSR0

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna / She loves to cook, she loves to eat

What's it about? Nomoto's hobby is cooking, but she lives alone and always ends up making too much food. One day, she notices how much food her neighbour Kasuga brings home and gets an idea: maybe Kasuga would like to eat some of what she cooks!

Genre: romcom

Watch if you enjoy: Sweet, understated, tentative romance. Lots and LOTS of cooking/eating scenes. (Don't watch while hungry! Do watch to get kitchen inspiration, if you are so inclined!) Lesbian self-discovery. Lots of serious issues in a fluffy setting: class, misogyny, heteronormativity, fat shaming, family hierarchies, and more.

Gayer version of: Julie and Julia

Recommended? Yes! It's very sympathetic and not very long (10 episodes of 15 minutes). The ending is a little unresolved, but fortunately there's a second season promised for 2024.

Between this and Old Fashion Cupcake, I do wonder if all Japanese QLs double as food porn...

Watched on: Dailymotion

Trailer (no subtitles): https://mubi.com/en/films/she-loves-to-cook-and-she-loves-to-eat/trailer

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #laws of attraction #laws of attraction the series #khun chai #to sir with love #la pluie #gay ok bangkok #gay ok bangkok 2 #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #katta's ql reviews

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russilton · 2 years

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Mark, buckle up. 😭

I'm such a sucker for playlists, I'm already currently making my way through the ones you linked. I absolutely L O V E the upbeat art playlist, it screams of Gewis podiums and happiness and success and love and attraction, y e s! Britcedes supremacy & good vibes. Good stuff. 🎉

IWLYN, that's the kind of thing that almost makes me chocke up a little. Sad and hopeful, raw, romantic but also angsty.

Actually, let me go into a bit of detail real quick - Fools is such a Lewis POV song, right. I've seen that one in a lot of playlists before and it fits and it hurts everytime.

Such good friends, it has to end, it always does. That's the way life is.

Do we take that risk?

And so it all boils down to this. We've got our aim, but we might miss. We are too fragile just to guess.

And I've been in this place before.

There's want, but there's also fear and apprehension. It's about the damage of past experiences fighting against the hopefulness for a good outcome...

Wonder came on directly afterwards and, for my money, that's such a George POV song, isn't it. There's a different kind of vulnerability here, one that really feels younger. This one doesn't speak of past hurt that has left some lasting effects but it does speak of insecurity. Hesitancy and self doubt clashing with admiration and so much longing, sooo much longing. And persistance.

You're completely off limits, for more reasons than just one. But I can't stop. You're the centre of attention, you control the atmosphere. You're so busy being busy, I don't want to interfere. But I can't stop.

Also: The future's far less daunting walking into it with you - that's the most Britcedes line to ever britcedes, come on.

(Song rec-ish, what are your thoughts on Little Did I Know by Julia Michaels/Willow by TS? Two of my Top 10 Gewis songs and I can't help but think that they fit the vibe of the IWLYN playlist very well)

I have yet to listen to the RB AU playlist, but I've already seen that Do I Wanna Know is on it - of course it is. So on brand. I also feel like you've hit the spot with I Don't Know Why. Because yes, that's the vibe of this story. And Bleeding Out? COME ON. Feels! So many feels!

Don't worry, I'm not going to write an entire thesis on every single one of your song choices and the different interpretations and scenarios that pop into my head when considering them. But. I COULD. They're such good choices.

(Btw, do you also listen to music whilst writing or only when drawing?)

This ask is SO out of proportion, please. Please be nice to me, I'm just excited, I swear I'll leave you alone. 😂 Before I run I will exploit you, though. I really want to tag @thatsmemate here and now and ask where the playlist for her AU is, because. BECAUSE.

Ok bye 👋🏻

Gonna stick my whole answer under a read more because this post got v long and I already spam the dash enough

I love your analysis of fools and wonder. Those songs and sick of loosing soulmates are my go to angsty otp songs, because they’re so… tentative. They’re about longing and TRYING for more. And that’s kind of what George and Lewis are for each other and for racing. It’s about trying in the face of uncertainty. I used to listen to them on repeat as I read fanfic, just over and over.

I think you’ll like run for cover, it’s mostly songs about antagonising each other, pushing boundaries but still being drawn back together. But there’s also some that are just about the cost of perfection; those are about how George feels like working for redbull is like having a knife held to his throat, constantly on the edge of falling. Lewis is all about playing with fire, red bull is the stinging burn.

I very much like your song recs and they have now both been added. Kimy will be delighted I’ve finally added a Taylor song lol. I’m not very musically educated, I get most of my songs from either the radio (I listen to 80’s radio with my dad a lot), exercise playlists, or YouTubers using it for montage music or animated music videos. And tiktok, a lot comes from tiktok. Sue me. The rest will be my dads influence. He likes Coldplay, muse, imagine dragons, arctic monkeys, and therefore, so do I lmao.

I’d say I actually listen to purely music while I write MORE than when I draw. I can watch anything while I draw, I spend a lot of time watching the Simpsons or family guy on marathon while I draw because it’s a very brain off kind of activity. Part of the little cocktail of Autism and Adhd in my brain means I find it hard to do ONE thing at a time, or my brain gets too loud. Because art is a physical thing, I can watch tv while I work. When I write it needs more brain power so I find it harder to have TV on. I used to have to write in complete silence and I *hated* it. I also find a good music playlist now keeps me on track for the mood I wanted, which in AIWLYN and Run for Cover is really important. Otherwise I just use the good vibes list hahaha

This ask is not out of proportion, and don’t you dare leave me alone, trust me this is the exact kinda shit that gets people like me clapping excitedly. I LOVE people talking about things I’ve worked on or created, it’s like a drug. Why do you think I’m always begging for tags and comments! It’s! My! Shit!

#asks #anonymous #mark’s playlists #redbull george au #aiwlyn

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mitsuki-komori · 11 months

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Soulmate AU: YunoLeo

Alright so, I feel like I haven’t posted in a while. So I’ll post this YunoLeo soulmate AU I made. You can check out ‘My One in My Heart’ over on AO3 where I’m posting my second set of soulmate AU’s which I haven’t actually posted on here yet. Anyway, this is the first of five, three are done so far. Check it out on AO3 if you wanna read the first set or the ones that have come out after this one so far. Enjoy!

Love… It was a foreign concept to Yuno, in the romantic sense at least. He knew how love worked, but at the same time he couldn’t understand it. Not one bit. Sure, he loved Asta, everyone at the church, and his squad even if he doesn’t admit it… However, what really was a soulmate? Did he have one? Would he ever really know what it would feel like to love someone like that? He didn’t know, there was one way to figure out who that soulmate was, however. Supposedly, if you’re injured in any way and you’re near your soulmate, the wounds will heal right up within minutes—sometimes seconds.

Yuno didn’t care for it, he didn’t need love. He was busy doing other things, besides, what’s the proof he even has a soulmate? He’s heard of people going their whole lives without getting theirs, and they seemed just fine. That’s how Yuno thought of love… a few months ago that is…

You see, Yuno being a magic knight met lots of people, it’s only fair to say he’s made lots of friends, but there was this friend who was… different… It made Yuno feel things he had never felt before… Like he could do anything, as if he was free, only there wasn’t anything to be free of in the first place, yet that’s how he felt around them. Their goofy smile, their stupid jokes, and their ability to make Yuno feel all these weird emotions! They made Yuno’s heart beat, they made him nervous, they made Yuno happy.

Although for the record, Yuno still thinks this is stupid. Love is dumb…

Leopold Vermillion on the other hand didn’t have any experience with romance either, but it did intrigue him. He was curious about it, it wasn’t at the top of his priorities, but he’d still love to meet his soulmate as soon as possible. It was a rather strange feeling to say the least, but he was welcome to it. As long as it meant discovering new things.

Especially when it came to Yuno… Leo admits he may or may not have a little crush on Yuno… ok maybe a bit bigger than little, possibly a lot, but what’s that got to do with anything? Yuno was strong and sweet without meaning to be. Leopold knew this was probably just a crush though… What are the chances Yuno actually likes him back, much less that they’re soulmates? Still though… Yuno sure was amazing, not to mention how attractive he was- wait, where the hell did that come from!?

Leopold lightly slapped himself in the face, why did his thoughts have to be like this? He really wished he could stop thinking about Yuno so much, he just couldn’t stop thinking of the possibilities though… Him and Yuno… Injures heal when you’re near your soulmate, huh? Leopold couldn’t wait! The tough part about it though is that in order for the whole ‘healing near soulmate’ thing to work, you have to had already known them for at least three years for it to start… The world worked in many mysterious ways…

“Leo?” Leopold heard, he snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention towards his brother.

“Huh? Sorry, did you say something?” Leopold asked.

“Yeah, I’ve said your name a few times now, you seemed like you were in deep thought.” Fuegoleon explained, Leopold nervously chuckled. “Anyway, I just came here to tell you that Yuno, Asta, Mimosa, and Noelle are here. You guys had a training session for today, did you not?” Fuegoleon explained to him. Leopold nodded, remembering the plans that had been previously made.

“Oh yeah! Thanks for telling me! I’ll see you later, I’m going to get super strong!” Leopold got up, and rushed out of the room without looking back.

Fuegoleon did a light wave with a soft smile, “Good luck.”

“Took you long enough.” Yuno muttered in his usual bored tone. Leopold pouted and shot a look at them.

“It’s not my fault! You two and you two are already in the same squad, I’m alone here!” Leopold justified himself, Yuno gave him a sarcastic nod.

“Anyway, I was able to book the bigger training grounds for two hours. I was thinking after we train for a bit we could hang out? Maybe we could go back to the Vermillion estate or go eat somewhere?” Mimosa suggested, everyone happily nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds super fun!” Asta cheered, Noelle rolled her eyes with a pink tint on her cheeks? Mimosa smirked and giggled. Noelle jerked her head to look at Mimosa.

“Wh-What’re you laughing at!?” He defensively asked her, Mimosa shook her head.

“Oh it’s nothing!”

“Flame Magic: Spiral Flame!” Leopold chanted his spell at Asta. In normal circumstances Asta would’ve easily blocked it, the thing was however, he was exhausted. They had been going for hours and Leo still didn’t seem too tired, it wasn’t just him either, Yuno was the same! Mimosa ended up having to pay for another hour. They were all going 1v1v1 while Noelle and Mimosa watched and waited for their turn.

“Woah… How do neither of you even have a single scratch?” Asta asked them with confusion, Leopold shrugged his shoulders with a smirk.

“I don’t know, guess I’ve just gotten stronger!” He laughed confidently. Yuno remained silent as he looked at Leo, Asta was right… He didn’t have a single scratch or bruise, and neither did he. He knew they were all powerful, but even so they should be more exhausted for how long they’ve been going. Yes he was exhausted and he was sure Leopold was too, but this… Was rather peculiar…

“Hey guys! I think we should wrap it up and call it a draw? I’m afraid me and Noelle won’t have any time to train!” Mimosa voices coming down with Noelle behind her.

“Why? We were just getting warmed up!” Leopold complained.

Yuno didn’t say anything because he was in thought. There was a creeping suspicious feeling subconsciously crawling up his spine, and it made him nervous.

“Yuno? Your face is a little red, are you feeling ok?” Leopold got closer to him, Yuno turned his head and nodded.

“Yes, I’m doing just fine.” He replied.

As Noelle and Mimosa got closer, Asta started to feel more energetic. “Actually I’m feeling a lot better all the sudden! What do you two say? Wanna keep going-“

“Asta, don’t be stupid! Mimosa already told you how we won’t have any time to train ourselves if you drag this out. Just say it’s a draw.” Noelle said, Asta sulked.

“I guess we could finish this another time?” Leopold told them, Yuno wanted to keep going, but he couldn’t… To a smile like that?

“Yeah, sure…” Yuno mumbled, Asta shot a betrayed look at Yuno.

“What!? C’mon!”

“Shut up, you were literally just complaining about it a minute ago.” Noelle recalled, Asta shook his head.

“No! I wasn’t saying that! Plus, I’m actually feeling a lot better!” Everyone stared at Asta, eventually Asta nodded, “Alright, we can stop…” He said, disappointed. “I still don’t understand how you two never managed to get a single scratch!” Asta stated, Leopold smiled with pride. Mimosa on the other hand giggled, they were so clueless!

“Looks like you’ll have to catch up, though I doubt you’ll be able to beat me.” Yuno told Asta, then they started to go back and fourth, much to Noelle’s distaste.

“Would you two do this somewhere else so me and Mimosa can train, please!?” She shouted, they stopped and nodded. Finally, Yuno, Asta, and Leopold left the training field so Mimosa and Noelle could train.

In the end, their match lasted about an hour and Noelle managed to win, however it was a very close match. Both had very clever strategies and powerful spells, in the end though, Noelle managed to beat Mimosa. Mimosa was completely fine with it because she learned new things and she felt like she had gotten stronger!

They made their way through town, hoping to find somewhere to hang out before they part ways. Leopold walked next to Yuno. “So… You were pretty cool out there, and that big wind clash spell was super powerful!” Leopold looked up at Yuno with admiration, it made Yuno’s heart skip a beat.

“Uh… Thanks.” He awkwardly answered. “You know you were good out there too, I definitely wasn’t expecting that new spell. You’ve definitely gotten stronger, Leo. Guess I’ll have to get even stronger.” Yuno praised Leo, Leo’s face went completely red. Yuno really thought Leo was strong enough to be considered his rival too? Leopold knew he was strong, but hearing it from Yuno just made his heart flutter.

“U-Uh… Thanks! You better do it quickly though, because I won’t wait for you!”

Yuno softly smiled, Leo looked cute when he was flustered. “Sure.”

Mimosa led the way and they ended up sitting in a café. It was a pretty area in town, they were across from a flower shop and it was clean, then there was a fountain with a few benches and flower beds close. They sat down and gladly started chatting. They got a few drinks and snacks and talked about all sorts of things: missions, funny stories, and lots of other general topics. Leopold kept giving Yuno nervous glances hoping Yuno didn’t notice, what was bugging him? Yuno opened his mouth to speak when one of the waitresses next to them dropped a plate, and it shattered.

The woman, embarrassed, bent down and started to pick up the pieces and place them on a tray. Leopold got up and started to help her.

“Are you alright?” He asked, she nodded.

“Yeah, there’s really no need.” She told him, and he shook his head.

“No, I insist!” He helped her clean up the mess. She thanked him and the mess was cleaned up. After she left, Leo felt a pain and put his hand over the other. “Ow!” He cursed. Yuno walked over and grabbed his hand. He took a look at it and saw a cut across Leopold’s hand, he must’ve accidentally cut himself. However, as soon as it came, it healed right up. Leopold raised an eyebrow and looked at Yuno. “What is it? Is it bad?” He pulled back his hand to look. “Hm… Must’ve been nothing.” He nervously chuckled. Yuno nodded.

“Yeah… It was… nothing.” Yuno stuttered out, Leopold tilted his head.

“Yuno? Are you ok? Your face is super red again and you look like something’s bothering you.” Leopold asked, Yuno frantically shook his head and sat down.

“I’m fine, nothing’s wrong. Let’s just finish up…” Yuno told him. Leopold smiled and nodded, then he sat back down next to Yuno. When Yuno looked up he saw everyone smirking at him knowingly, they must’ve seen it didn’t they? Even Asta knew what was going on. Yuno ignored it and pretended like nothing happened. However, his thoughts did otherwise.

‘Leo’s my soulmate… He’s actually my soulmate, how else would that be possible? His hand was bleeding and as soon I touched it, it healed. Actually that would also explain how me and him managed to make it through that entire battle without a single scratch, because we kept healing each other…’ Yuno was having a hard time processing that fact that Leopold was his soulmate. He never thought this would happen… He wasn’t disappointed in the least, he was actually really happy about it. Leo was going to be his… How could he just tell him though? How would he go about it? Yuno didn’t know…

His goofy smile, his stupid jokes, and his ability to make Yuno feel all these weird emotions! And he could really be his… Yuno grew annoyed, why was he making such a big deal out of this? Love is stupid and he’s busy with being vice-captain… but for Leo and only for Leo… He could make an exception…

Yuno’s thoughts were interrupted as saw Leopold staring at the hand he had cut. He had also been glancing up at Yuno, trying his best to not be noticed. Did he figure it out? No… He seemed rather unsure, maybe he was suspicious of it? Yuno guessed Leo wasn’t as clueless as he thought he was… Yeah, suppose you could put the pieces together that making it through a 2 hour battle against strong opponents without a scratch would be weird if neither was your soulmate… And there was also the possibility he was just pretending he didn’t see the blood from the cut… but why would he do that? A though ran across Yuno’s mind that made him a little disappointed. What if Leopold didn’t want to be his soulmate? Was Yuno’s feelings just one-sided? Yuno just shoved those thoughts away and took a sip from his drink. ‘Deal with it later…’

After they finally left, Noelle and Asta went their own way. Mimosa and Yuno decided they wanted to walk Leo back to the Crimson Lions so he didn’t have to go alone. Yuno was hoping he and Leo would be able to talk privately.

Leopold walked next to Mimosa and Yuno, nervous. He didn’t know what to think right now. Was Yuno his soulmate? It would explain the cut… Well, not as if he saw it himself, but he felt it! It definitely had to be a cut, right? If it as and Yuno healed it, why did he seemed so bothered for the rest of the time? Was he angry he ended up with Leo? Leo didn’t want that to be true, but he knew it probably was… He wouldn’t wanna be with him either… Or maybe he was just misunderstanding the entire thing and he really didn’t get cut and Yuno wasn’t his soulmate? Leopold just didn’t know, he was so unsure of whether or not he wanted to confront the issue or not? He’d probably just make things awkward… So maybe he won’t…

As they arrived, Yuno decided he wanted to ask Leo if they could talk.

Before Yuno managed to get a word out though, he was interrupted. “LEO!” Leo’s older sister interrupted from the door. Leopold looked at Mimosa and Yuno, then back at Mereoleona. “GET OVER HERE!” Mereoleona yelled, she was getting pissed… Leopold waved goodbye to Mimosa and Yuno with enthusiasm and quickly walked inside. Yuno sighed, Mimosa couldn’t help but feel pity for him.

“It’s ok, I’m sure you’ll get him next time!” Mimosa attempted to comfort him, he shot a defensive glare at her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

That was a day ago, and since then Leo’s been sent on a mission. Apparently Captain Fuegoleon and two other squadmates went with him, Yuno wondered how dangerous it was. He’d be returning today though… He’ll be fine.

However, when Yuno got a call from Fuegoleon, it turns out he was wrong. More than wrong… Stupid Leo… According to Captain Fuegoleon, Leopold had gotten poisoned by the enemy in the process of saving his squadmates and they currently couldn’t find a cure for it. How could Leo be so… Selfless!? Why doesn’t he ever think about himself…?

Yuno was already flying there as fast as possible. He could fix this, because if Leo really was his soulmate, he can heal Leo. Even if they weren’t soulmates, Yuno wants to be there with him. He loves him! He can’t die now. “Just hold on Leo…” He muttered.

He barged in and demanded to know where Leo was, the ladies seemed startled, but they could somewhat understand. Yuno would have to apologize for the aggression later. He eventually saw Fuegoleon and Mereoleona waiting in the hallway next to Leo’s room. He went right past them and into the room despite them explaining that he couldn’t go in right now.

He walked in and saw Leo surrounded by recovery mages, but he just seemed to be in pain. He looked pale, like the light had drained from his eyes. “Leo!” Yuno ran to Leo’s side, ignoring the recovery mages’ protests.

Yuno held Leo close to him and after a few seconds, Leo started to relax a little as the pain was slowly fading away. Leo crackled open his eyes and looked up at Yuno with an expression of relief and admiration. His face turned a little red, this time from the closeness of him and Yuno. He smiled at Yuno softly and thanked him. “I knew it would be you.” He chuckled with pride. Soon after however, he passed out from exhaustion. That’s when Yuno remembered he and Leo weren’t alone in the room and started to feel a tinge of embarrassment. Hell, even Fuegoleon and Mereoleona were standing in the doorway with a dumb smirk!

“Please!?” Leo asked his brother. Leopold had been dying to go see Yuno after that whole thing yesterday. They let him go, but told him that he needed to rest.

“As I said, you need to rest after what happened.” Fuegoleon explained to him yet again. Leopold frowned and sighed.

“That’s not fair!” Leopold complained with a pout.

“This is just what happens when you get too reckless on the battlefield, it’s important you learn from your actions.” Fuegoleon began to lecture Leo. Leopold wanted to speak up again before a servant approached.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone here to see you, Young Master Leopold.” She informed them, Leo looked at her and went back to Fuegoleon, then back to her.

“Thanks, and please just call me Leo!” He turned and left, was it Yuno? It’d be super cool if it was Yuno, but wait, what would they talk about? How would they even begin to start the conversation?

Leopold walked out and saw Yuno. He took a deep breath and approached him. “Hey…” Leo greeted him.

“Hi. Could we talk somewhere private?” Yuno requested, Leo gladly nodded and led the way to his room. Was Yuno going to reject him!?

After they had entered Leo’s room and the door was closed, they stood there in silence.

“So…” Leopold started, face already red. “I guess we’re soulmates?” He nervously stuttered out, Yuno nodded in confirmation. “Anyway, thank you for saving me. I really don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there…” Yuno once again nodded. The deafening silence from Yuno only made Leo more nervous.

“When did you realize it?” Yuno questioned, Leopold tilted his head. “When did you realize we were soulmates? When I helped you, you said you knew it would be me.” Yuno explained to Leo. Leopold snickered.

“I guess… it was just kind of obvious? I mean— I really like you, so that was one thing. Also, when we were able to make it through that whole battle without a scratch was pretty impressive! However, even I knew we weren’t that powerful… Then there was the time when I cut my hand… I didn’t see it myself, but I could tell you realized it too…” Leopold told Yuno. Yuno blushed in response.

Did Leo really find out before he did? He always thought Leo was clueless when it came to, well… This type of stuff, but… It made sense… The way Leo seemed to be nervous and flustered around him was starting to make more sense, ‘Cute,’ Yuno thought to himself. Leo raised an eyebrow.

“Yuno, is that all you wanted to ask…?”

Yuno shook his head and got closer to Leo. “I… Leo, since we’re soulmates and we’re gonna be together… I just wanted to tell you how I feel about you-“

“Can I kiss you?” Leopold interrupted, face flushed. Yuno’s eyes widened in surprise, he certainly wasn’t expecting that… but it’s not like he disliked it or anything… Plus, Leo looked adorable right now. Face completely red under the dim light. Yuno lifted Leo’s head towards him and nodded.

“Yes.” He replied.

They got closer, and closer… Until Leo finished closing the distance between them, and they finally kissed. Yuno kept his hand on Leo’s chin while the other was being held by Leo’s. After they broke apart, they both took a step back.

Leopold awkwardly giggled, “So, uh… I like you a lot, Yuno.” He looked Yuno in the eye. “I really really like you.” He said, Yuno nodded and smiled.

“I feel the same about you.” At those words, Leo’s eyes lit up and he ran into Yuno’s arms. They stayed like that for as long as they could until someone started to bang on the door.

“LEO! What are you doing in there!?”

It was Mereoleona… again.

#Leopold Vermilion #Yuno Grinberryall #Black Clover #YunoLeo #Oneshot #Soulmates #Mereoleona Vermilion #Mimosa Vermillion #Asta #Noelle Silva #Fluff #fanfiction

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ahxiang · 2 years

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tea love why do i feel like you've read all the bl manga/manhwa out there akgssjksks every time an adaptation is announced you've already read the original

i would also feel v iffy about coin laundry if i only read the summary but one actor is 27 and the other is 23 and they're playing a middle-aged man and a highschooler so i'm more confused than anything else. what were their ages in the manga? do you think they're changing the plot a bit to make it less questionable?

btw do you maybe have some bl/gl manhwa recs?👀 i feel like i've read quite a few but you probably know a lot more. for reference some of my favs are soulmate, their story, pond snail robber. and i'm currently reading straight girl trap and honyak/two souls and both have pleasantly surprised me like the first one has a v questionable premise and i was expecting a fucked up power dynamic in the second but no both are really nice and enjoyable and almost unproblematic (esp comparing to some other stuff i've read😬) oh! but i don't read b&w mangas bc for some reason it's hard for me to process it :(

- @ahxu-laowen

sofia, my love! sorry it took me so long to respond, i had a busy day yesterday, but i'm back! this is gonna be longggg, so i put it under a cut!!

absjsjk, i do read a lot of queer comics, but lemme let you in on my secret. when i first started to get into manga/manhwa/manhua, i just started reading what sounded interesting or was well reviewed, but i kept coming across really bad ones that just grossed me out. then i think it was when cherry blossoms after winter premiered that i was wayyyy too impatient to wait for the next ep, so when i saw on mdl that ppl really liked the manhwa, i decided to read it and ended up binging the whole thing that night. i ended up noticing that unlike thai shows that are based on sometimes v shitty novels, j-bls and k-bls are usually adaptations of pretty good manga/manhwa. so from then on, i kept my ear to the ground and the moment an adaptation of a manga/manhwa got announced, i'd read it. and lemme tell you, this has worked much better than looking for things to read on my own. much less icky stuff.

so yeah, blupdate2020 announced back in, like, may that minato shoji koinrandori was gonna get a live action adaptation and i immediately read the manga. it is b&w, still ongoing, and honestly i don't recommend it unless you have nothing else to read, it's probably the worst one of the adapted mangas i've read, but it's also not bad. shin is 17 at the start of the manga and they never specify akira's exact age as far as i can remember, but if i do the math he's 27-28, so the ages are def super iffy. luckily akira's not predatory, in fact it could be argued that shin's the predatory one with the way he pursues him. but if you put the weird teenage thoughts of sex aside, their friendship is quite cute and sweet. all of the manga adaptations that i've seen so far have been very faithful to the original source, with just a few changes here and there (usually elimination of sexual language/scenes), so i doubt minato's laundromat will be too different from the manga, but would probably be much more wholesome, which def helps with the iffiness. i watched the first ep and they aged up shin to be a senior rather than a junior, so that helps? a bit? but minus points bc akira objectifies shin upon meeting him more than he did in the manga. ngl, it was weird. besides that, it's exactly the same but more wholesome. shin is much smilier and just less..... weird, absjsj. so yeah, i think it'll be a cute watch with an iffy premise that i trust them to handle well.

as for recs, i def have plenty, most of which are shows you've probably seen. i've only ever read b&w manga, so all these recs are manhwa/manhua.

it's no secret that i'm a huuuuge fan of who can define popularity?, the source material of blueming. i hiiiiighly recommend it, especially if you enjoyed blueming. it's actually quite different from the adaptation, but both have their pros and cons that make it impossible for me to say which is better. da un's whole deal is expanded upon much more, the sapphics get more development, and do ba woo gets a whole storyline and love interest. i also highly recommend cherry blossoms after winter. i'd say the drama is better, but the manhwa is more in depth and practically the same, so it's a good read! it is explicit though and like always the sex scenes are heteronormative and sometimes kinda uncomfy, but if you skip them like i do, it doesn't ruin it. the same goes for love tractor, which is getting an adaptation supposedly later this year. also a little iffy with ages, but v sweet and has a fun dynamic of v buff and manly country boy with a heart of gold and a damaged city boy musician. outside of adapted source material, there's a manhua i enjoyed called 30 sui nanzi wuyu or the secret tales of a 30 year old gay bachelor. honestly, i don't remember much about this one besides the main character and his brother being rich ceo kinda guys, but i know i enjoyed it. and i'm currently reading the ongoing translation of yeouleul guhaejwo or fall for me!, which is so far v unproblematic and is fun bc it's fantasy! the main character is possessed by a gumiho and gets close to the only guy not attracted to him in an effort to get rid of it.

for gl stuff, i do have to look on my own, but so far i haven't found any bad ones, so that's good! my absolute favorite is a manhua called jintian de ta yeshi ruci keai or my darling is the cutest. it breaks down a bunch of stereotypes and tropes, tackles some hard issues like child abuse, has a fantastic ensemble of queer characters, and is just v v sweet. it's ongoing at 122 chapters. the rest of the gl comics i’ve read so far are actually just webcomics and not manga/manhwa/manhua, but they’re still v good! kiss it goodbye is a very cute slice of life set in japan (but actually in english and made by an italian artist) that is complete and ends very well. i’m only five chapters in, but i’m really enjoying the girlfriend project, which is a fake dating story! and the ongoing mermaid x witch comic the sweetness of salt is beautiful and very sweet. i keep making the mistake of reading comics that end up being ongoing and then forgetting about them while i wait for updates, so idk much about these, but i’m also reading rainbow!, she’s a keeper, and waiting for the release of zhui lan or falling blue.

hope this helps and that you enjoy reading!! thank you for the ask 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#tea answers #sofia #mutuals

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passerine-writes · 2 years

Text

Symbols - Chapter 12

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and s/h Word count: 3135

Masterlist

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

Please read this! I am currently going back and editing everything, the soulmate age is being changed to 15, since I forgot that schools in Japan have a different start and end time for school, I am also editing when the reader has moved, rather than moving in February near the end of the school year, the reader is moving in about November as to account for Nationals taking place in January. I once again have no concept of time in real life and in my writing, I apologize for any inconveniences to earlier readers.

Third Person POV

"Might as well tell you the whole story. Her name is Fumikawa Arise, her son is Fumikawa Komini. And he is my son, your half brother."

Kaara almost choked on air at his words, she was aware that she already had half siblings that were younger than her or near her age, but only knew of the ones of her mothers side and had never met them, seeing as how she put them up for adoption. She was blissfully unaware that she had any from her fathers side.

"I'm sorry?" She was taken aback completely.

"Can we sit down and talk? Please, sweet pea?" Her lips pressed into a flat line as she sat across from her father at the table. "I met her years ago, before you were born. It was around when we both started at the agency, your mother and I were married for about a year or so at the time. Arise became my work wife for lack of better terms, we were both new, close in age and got along effortlessly. We ended up having an affair, and she fell pregnant. Once I heard, I got scared. I cut ties and explained everything, apologized and confessed to your mother who had found out a month and a half prior she was pregnant with you. That's where our fighting began. Komini is only about a month or so younger than you. But Arise and I avoided each other, we tried to pretend we were colleagues and nothing else happened. She gave me the respect that I didn't deserve and told me I should try to amend my marriage. When she heard about the divorce, she apologized and consoled me, so we went back to being acquaintances so nothing would be awkward at work anymore. She was driving out there from this area everyday because that's where she was stationed. She got moved back about a year ago, but we stayed in touch, on occasion I would visit her but we always talked on the phone. Seeing her again after a year made me realized that I truly do hold feelings for her." Her lip quivered and she tried to bite back tears.

"I need time to think, this and mom and everything, it's all just too much. I won't be able to make it to the dinner, I'm sorry." He went to talk but she was already going upstairs, grabbing her phone and wallet. "I'm going to see the boys, I just, this is all too much, maybe I'll meet them another time." His posture slumped but he nodded as she walked out the door. Kaara followed the directions to the bus stop and purchased her ticket without a second thought.

To Kuroo: Hey, I'm sorry for the abrupt text. Are you busy at the moment?

From Kuroo: Never too busy for you little atom. Why do you ask?

To Kuroo: Is it alright if I come over?

From Kuroo: Of course you can shortie, just us or is it okay if the rest are here too?

To Kuroo: Can it just be the two of us for at least a little bit, if it's not too much to ask.

From Kuroo: It's not a problem at all, when will you be here?

To Kuroo: Within an hour I'm assuming.

From Kuroo: See you soon, bubbles

She smiled at the text before staring out the window at the houses and buildings blurring together a bit from the speed of the bus.

She spent the time on the bus lost in her head, reviewing everything that just happened, everything she had been told. To her knowledge, she now had four siblings. Her mother gave birth to twins and one other before she turned ten, both having separate fathers. However she had many more partners and even more alcohol. Everything felt surreal, like she was floating and walking across a path of lies. A lone tear slid down her face as she dwelled on it.

Before she knew it, she was at the stop and four blocks away from the Kuroo household. Light was still out and shining down on the path, but it was peaceful and familiar walking down these streets once again. However, she was alone instead of accompanied by two or four boys like the past. She made her final turn, walking up to a front door and knocking lightly. The door swung open and revealed Kuroo dressed in a black t-shirt and grey sweats, tears sprung to her eyes and without thinking she latched onto him, hugging him as if she were falling and he was the safety net. The overwhelming feelings hit her once again and she realized what she had done, spurring the tears to fall harder. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her inside and away from any public eyes. His large, warm hand stroked her hair, allowing her the time and patience to get it all out of her system before talking.

"Lets go up to my room and relax yeah?" She nodded and wiped her eyes, following behind him on a path she already knew. His room hadn't changed much in a year aside from more pictures and wall décor. Yet it all still screamed 'him'. He placed her down on his unmade bed and sat in front of her, one knee bent towards his chest and the other bent on the mattress. "What happened?"

"I have another half sibling." His hooded eyes widened at her statement.

"And that isn't a good thing? Wait, wait, another?" Kaara bit the inside of her cheek and fiddled with her fingers in her lap.

"Yeah, I never met them. My mom had three kids after the divorce but put all of them up for adoption. My dad wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend or whoever who's son is apparently my age and my half brother over dinner today. It was too much so I came here instead."

"So that would mean.." She nodded her head slowly. His sentence stopping before she let him finish it. "Oh shit. How are you handling it right now?"

"I just, I'm mad, and hurt. He kept it a secret from me for years. He lied to me every time he called me his only child. I mostly blamed my mom for everything because I never thought she was telling me the truth. I thought she was just trying to get me to hate my father all that time. And now he's sharing more blame for everything and I hate it." Her voice cracking when she said 'hate', everything was making her head spin. "Would you be mad? If you found out your mom or dad had another kid and hid it from you for your whole life? Am I overexaggerating?" His head cocked to the side at her words, thinking about them closely before speaking.

"I would probably be upset and hurt if I just found that out. So I don't think you're overexaggerating or anything." Her arms ached and itched for a need too far out of reach, fear flooding her nervous system as she saw Kuroo's eyebrows furrow together. "You're allowed to be mad and upset about this. You're allowed to having feelings. Right now, I think you need a movie day." She let out a broken laugh and nodded. Drying her eyes with a sleeve and trying to push away all thoughts of earlier and trying to ignore a feeling on her arms and thighs. "I'll go call the boys over, you go pick out a movie and get some popcorn ready." She quietly agreed, thanking him in the process before trekking downstairs to the kitchen and living room.

Once Kaara was out of earshot, he called Akaashi who answered on the first ring.

"Hello, Tetsurou." The setters voice sounded as smooth as butter and almost made Kuroo forget what he was originally calling about.

"Keiji, I need to ask you something." The boy on the line let out a short 'okay', signalling the second eldest to continue with his question. "A few weeks ago, when you came home after being at Kaara's and a week before that when you talked to Kenma alone. It was about her having a history or self harm wasn't it?" The line fell silent, giving Tetsurou his answer. "Why didn't you tell me? Or any of us?" His voice was quiet and pained, straining with every syllable.

"She made me promise I wouldn't tell any of you until she was ready. How did you find out?" The guilt in Keiji's voice was evident as he spoke.

"She's over here right now, a lot was going on and I think it made her soulmate outlook worse. She accidentally opened the bond, hugged me without thinking and I felt it and it felt exactly like how Kenma's would. But everything leading up to it, before finding out now, it all just clicked together. I have to go call Koutarou and Kenma, we're having a movie day at my house with Kaara, so please be here soon." Akaashi agreed and the call soon ended, calling the other two and inviting them over. Kuroo ran a hand through his bed, trying to figure out how or when he should bring this up but he pushed it away for now, deciding to head downstairs.

Kaara had just put the second bag of popcorn in the microwave and grabbed a few bowls before flipping through Kuroo's movie collection. He had all Studio Ghibli movies, an extensive action collection, a few tapes of his volleyball games, and other miscellaneous genres sprinkled in. She grabbed Howl's Moving Castle out of the shelving unit, thinking it was a good middle ground plus, Calcifer makes everyone smile. She stopped when she felt someone's eyes on her, Kuroo stood there on the stairs, leaning against the railing just gazing at her. She could feel his placidity and serotonin pulsing through the bond, while it relaxed her it also unsettled the girl, knowing that he could feel how vulnerable she now was and at any given moment. Thankfully, Kenma walked in, nodding in acknowledgement to them both before going back to his game and plopping down on the couch.

"When are the others getting here?" She silently thanked him for breaking Kuroo's stare on her.

"Within the next ten minutes I think. Kou was already on his way and almost to Keiji's house so he just waited for him to get there before leaving." They both nodded in response. The microwave beeped loudly, telling everyone that the second bag was ready. She scurried out to go to it, dividing it into three decent sized bowls for the five of them to share.

She also grabbed cups and set them out for when the others got here, that way there wasn't too much clambering around from Bokuto and Kuroo. She filled her cup with some water and sipped on it, staring out the kitchen window whilst lost in thought. So much had happened today and she had only been awake for eleven (11) hours at this point. School was just as boring as the first day, except eating lunch with Sakusa and Komori became a daily thing, one that she also began looking forward to. Everything with her father, thoughts about her mother, opening the bond with Kuroo on accident and now seeing all the guys.

"Hey hey hey!"

"Hi."

"Where's Kaara?" Bokuto's yelling and question caught her attention, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I'm right here, Bo." He smiled and ran towards her, crushing the petite girl in a hug when she emerged in the doorway.

"I've missed you!!" Each word was enunciated with him swinging her from one way to the next.

"I've missed you all too."

"Did you hear that?!? She said she missed all of us!" He bellowed, her eardrums paying the price.

"She may not be able to hear after you just yelled in her ears like that." His large hands covered her ears now after Akaashi's retort.

"AGH! I'm so sorry!" His voice was slightly muffled but it was still clear to her. He froze as she started laughing.

"It's okay." Kaara spoke slowly, dragging out the words and dragging off his hands. "I made popcorn and grabbed cups for drinks if you guys want to grab any for the movie." She stepped back as three of the four pushed their way through the doorway, Kenma remained on the couch with wide eyes at his soulmates enthusiastic approach. A round of 'thank you's were said, Kuroo carrying two cups and the other two carrying a drink and a bowl.

She sat relaxed next to Kuroo, Kaara in the corner, Kuroo in the middle with Kenma on the other end with the Fukurodani boys sitting in front of all of them on the floor. Her legs were curled up to her chest, popcorn long gone after half an hour. Kuroo's grandmother came downstairs for a moment to say hello, she was a sweet elderly lady in her seventies who used a cane to get around. She was especially happy to see Kaara there, but said it was getting near her 'bed time' so the two would have to catch up another time before retreating to her room. The sun was long gone as the five were half way through the second movie when she realized she should probably leave to catch the last bus home.

"I should probably catch the bus home, it's getting late." Bokuto's hair flattened a bit, but Kuroo was the first to speak up.

"Or you could spend the night, it's been a while since the five of us had a sleep over plus it's not safe for you to walk alone and go on a bus in the dark. You can catch one in the morning or afternoon tomorrow." His baritone voice was smooth with a small rasp to it after not properly talking in over two hours.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose or be a burden or anything." Four pairs of eyes snapped to the girl, as though she had just insulted their grandmothers and sisters.

"I'm sure. You're never a burden or anything. Just like middle school, yeah?" He just had to say the phrase.

All of the boys knew she wanted time to go back a year and a half ago before anything changed. And they all knew that one sentence made her weak. Knowing it made her hopeful and relaxed about all of them being around her.

"Okay, I'll have to let my dad know. I also didn't think to bring a change of clothes and I doubt your sister has left anything here since moving with her boyfriend a year ago."

"Fiancé now, and yeah, she doesn't have any here anymore. You can just borrow some of mine." Before she could utter a response, he was already pulling her upstairs to his room. "I'll try and find something that'll fit you and not completely drown you." She stood awkwardly as he rummaged through his drawers and closet. Unbeknownst to her, his plan was in action. He grabbed a t-shirt that he hasn't worn in well over a year since it no longer fit him and an old pair of his volleyball shorts. He handed her the clothes and watched as she tried not to show any emotion on her face. "It gets kinda warm in here because Grams doesn't like to leave windows open at night and she likes to keep the heat up for herself." She tried to remain looking neutral, like this wasn't terrifying and she knew she was going have to tell him the truth. "Are those alright, little atom?" She went to talk, mouth slightly opened but clamped her mouth shut. "Is it about your scars?" Her eyes went wide with fear but quickly went back to her normal, impassive look.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He cocked an eyebrow, arms now crossed in front of his chest and he moved to stand in front of the door.

"You've always been a bad liar, your tell is so obvious. I felt it earlier in my room, the itch and burn? I felt the same thing with Kenma before he got clean. So I called Akaashi and his silence was enough of an answer. Kenma already has his suspicions so he already has his own answer until proven otherwise. So, is it about your scars?" She clutched the clothes tighter, knowing she was stuck in a corner she couldn't get out of.

"You guys weren't supposed to know about that. I didn't talk about it for a reason. This is more of why I didn't want to open the bonds. Okay? So what if it is about my scars? I've gotten used to the heat, and the pain and so much more that I never wanted to worry any of you with. I never told anyone, nobody knew before Akaashi and that's because he felt the itching and the burning and he felt me relapse one night. You already knew how I would react but you still pushed it anyways, Kuroo." Her voice raised a bit and all he did was smirk.

"There's the little firecracker. But I didn't mean to push your buttons, bubbles, I didn't know you were going to react like this. Look, you don't have to hide around us. You never have to. The only one who might have a react down there is Koutarou, and that's because he has a big heart. Nobody here is going to be mad at you, especially not over this." She relaxed at his words, taking in what he was saying.

"I'm sorry for snapping. That wasn't right of me." He nodded, his own way of accepting an apology and turned to walk out to give her the privacy if she wanted to change. "Kuroo? Did you know? Before today, I mean." He stopped and turned back around, leaning against the door jam.

"I had my theories, but I never fully knew until today. I noticed that in summer you were always wearing long sleeves and sometimes even sweatpants. That even during the spring and early fall you wore the winter uniform. That sometimes your long sleeves looked a little thicker than usual even though the material itself was on the thinner side."

He noticed.

Someone.. someone actually noticed those things.

She nodded her head once more, swallowing the lump that now sat in her throat and debated on whether or not to change once the door gently clicked shut.

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hauntedtalenightmare · 2 years

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nsheetee · 3 years

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For Life (109 Steps to You Epilogue)

read “109 Steps to You” here!

Genre: epilogue, angst, fluff, soulmate AU Length: 5.4k Summary: Donghyuck and Y/N meet again one year after their last encounter, back at the place where it all started.

a/n: this is for everyone who asked for a part 2, I hope you all enjoy ♡

this is the epilogue for “109 Steps to You,” please read that fic before continuing!

Haechan walks into the cafe, the scent of espresso hitting him square in the face. He doesn’t have to walk far into the shop to find his two best friends sitting at one of the tables. Silence falls over the table once Haechan orders a drink and the waitress walks away. The three men sit mutely for a bit, looking at their phones or outside the big windows at the people walking by outside, until Haechan draws their attention.

“Huang Renjun, you invited me here and you won’t even say hi when I sit down.” At his ice breaker, Renjun lets out a shy laugh and turns in his seat to pay attention to his friend.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.” Haechan says back sarcastically.

“Hi.” Jaemin pipes up from across the table.

Somehow, conversation became a lot easier after that.

Haechan never thought it would be awkward with his longtime friends, especially since it has been only a year since the three of them graduated college and moved on. Jaemin works as an elementary school music teacher (just an assistant, for now) and he shows the guys some pictures of his students, commenting about how so many of them have natural talent. Renjun decided to do the graduate program and stayed on campus.

“What about you, Haechan, what have you been up to?” Jaemin asks and takes a sip of his iced americano.

“Oh… Nothing special. I work at SM Entertainment.” The guys’ eyes widen at the “not so special” news and Renjun almost chokes on his bagel.

“As an artist?” Renjun coughs out.

“No, god no, I write music for them, and they liked me enough to let me produce songs in the future, so they have me a full time job.” Haechan explains.

“Dude, that’s insane. Congrats, that’s what you always wanted to do, right?” Jaemin asks, still looking a bit amazed by his friend’s accomplishments.

“Yeah.. I guess.” Haechan trails off, laughing afterwards and praying someone will have something to say to get the attention off of him.

“Actually, there’s a reason I wanted to meet you guys here…” Renjun sits up straighter, making Haechan and Jaemin glance at each other. “I’m going to marry Mya.”

“Renjun…” Jaemin turns soft, his eyes turning rounder and his bottom lip pouting at the news, making Renjun roll his eyes and laugh. His joy is just at the thought of marrying his soulmate, the one he has spent the past five years with.

Haechan has to swallow down the lump in his throat to congratulate his friend, ruffling his blonde hair and saying something about how he can’t believe Renjun is the first to get married out of the three of them. When Haechan was with you, they were all sure that he would be the one to get married first. Oh, how easily things can change.

“I was hoping you guys would help me? I want to ask her under the bell tower, the same place I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I want to do it at night. I need help setting things up.”

“Of course we’ll help, right, Haechan?” Jaemin asks, looking over at his other friend. Haechan knew that by coming to this small reunion, he would have to face a part of his past, but he decided to come anyway. The past year has been tough, but Renjun has been Haechan’s friend for longer than he can remember, so this is the least he could do.

“Of course,” He nods. “Anything for Renjunie.” He adds a pat on the head with the pet name and Renjun slaps his hand away, giving him a scowl. The two guys would have continued with their play fighting if it wasn’t for Jaemin suddenly standing up, his chair skidding back along the tile floor loudly.

Haechan and Renjun glance up at him, but his eyes are glued to the entrance of the cafe. They turn around just in time to catch a girl stopping in her steps, her eyes focused on Jaemin. It’s been years; her hair is longer than before and she definitely grew up since the last time they saw her, but it’s no doubt Yeji, Jaemin’s soulmate and the one who rejected him when they were teenagers in high school.

“Jaemin.” She clears her throat, looking at the three guys, “You’re all here. Why am I not surprised your friendship lasted this long?” She laughs lightly as she recognizes the group of friends.

“Do you want to sit?” Jaemin points at the fourth chair at their table that has yet to be occupied. Yeji nods slowly and makes her way to the seat, gently sitting down and smiling shyly at the three guys. There’s a silence that falls over the table as everyone sips on their drinks, but the world around them continues on living loudly.

“So, what have you been up to recently?” Jaemin asks and turns to face her.

“Oh, I’m finishing college this year. I go to UOS.” She proudly smiles.

“Oh? We all went there too, we never saw you?” Renjun asks.

“I took a leap year, so I started college after you guys. You probably didn’t see me around because of that.”

“What did you do during your leap year?” Haechan asks, leaning back in his seat.

“I was in the hospital.” When three pairs of wide, serious eyes stare back at her, she laughs and waves her hand at them, “Oh no, it wasn’t anything bad. I found out my immune system is weak and spent some time figuring out what medicine to take and making my body stronger so I don’t get sick easily. That’s why I was gone for part our last year of school, too.” She explains and the three guys unstiffen and nod.

“Is that why you rejected me?” With Jaemin’s sudden question, Renjun and Haechan felt like they shouldn’t be sitting at the table anymore. They glance at each other, both wondering the same thing: should we leave?

“No,” She looks over at her soulmate, and then glances at Renjun and Haechan, “I guess I should explain myself now, huh?”

“Please.” Since Yeji rejected Jaemin, he turned into a different person. His affectionate and compassionate side is still present, but he tended to keep a calm and neutral front during most of his time in college that made some people think he’s a mean and scary person. Haechan and Renjun are very curious as to why Yeji dumped Jaemin all of a sudden, for the sake of their friend, and stay seated to hear what Yeji has to say..

“I only have one mark.” She explains. Jaemin looks at her a bit dumbfounded.

“What do you mean? Where’s the other one?” He asks and glances over her as if trying to find her other mark. Yeji laughs a bit at the question.

“I mean, I was only born with one. I will only have one mark my whole life.”

“There are people like that? What does it mean?” Renjun asks, stirring the melting ice in his drink with his straw.

“It means that your soulmate is also the person who will hurt you the most in life.” Yeji’s sharp eyes glance over to Jaemin, “That’s why I rejected you so quickly. I’m sorry if I caused you pain. I was just young and only thinking about myself.” She explains.

“No, I understand. I think I would’ve done the same thing.” Jaemin nods, and the two of them fix their eyes down and away from each other, Jaemin now knowing the reason for their separation makes him think about the decisions he made over the past few years.

Haechan, however, starts thinking about you. His palms get clammy and his heart beats faster, his mind running through the years and years of memories he has of you.

Where is your second mark?

Has it just been so long that Haechan doesn’t remember anymore, or did he never see it in the first place? Could it be… that you’re like Yeji? One mark, destined to be hurt the most by the person who’s supposed to love you the most. Haechan feels sick. It can’t be.

“It’s rare, right? For people to be born with one mark?” Haechan asks Yeji, and she purses her lips.

“Not really, no. Most people just don’t admit it out loud, since it’s not the norm to only have one mark. If you think about it, the people you love have the most power to hurt you. It’s not that uncommon.” She shrugs, and the table settles into another silence as the three guys think about her words.

Haechan refuses to believe it. You told him everything, you trusted him to the very end. You would’ve told him if you only had one mark, right? On the other hand, Haechan cannot remember ever seeing a second mark on your body— ever.

He begins to feel pain, for you and for what you must’ve gone through while you were with Haechan if this is true. He also begins to feel fear. Fear that his actions in the past are the end-all, be-all to your relationship. Haechan always had hope that you two might be able to work out your problems in the future, until now.

Haechan really hopes he’s wrong. He really hopes there’s a chance, a small sliver of promise of a future left for the two of you.

“Oh, hey, you got here quick.” You say as you open the door, Mya stepping in through the threshold and into your home. “I’m sorry we had to change plans so quickly. It’s just Mirae got a fever and wouldn’t stop crying…” You trail off as you lead your friend into the kitchen.

“It’s alright, I understand.” Mya smiles, watching you pull two mugs out of your cabinet and pour hot water, the savory aroma of coffee immediately filling the room. Mya takes a good look at you; you have some hair falling out of your ponytail around your face, there’s some sort of stain on your sweater, and you can’t stop playing with the diamond ring on your left hand; you look just like any new mom would.

“So, what’s going on? You don’t usually call me up like this out of nowhere…” You ask once you sit down, mugs on the table between you and your old friend. During your college days, you guys got to be pretty close, but after you graduated it became harder to get in touch due to your busy lives.

“Well, you remember Renjun, right?” Mya begins, nervously sipping on her coffee. You pretend to not notice how her hands shake.

“Of course,” You smile at the memory of Mya and Renjun, “Are you guys doing good?” At the question, Mya sets down her mug and stares into the creamer that swirls through the coffee, her shoulders sagging and eyes dull.

“I think… he’s going to propose to me.” You freeze, your heart suddenly beginning to hammer in your chest. Not because you’re excited by the news, but because your friend looks miserable.

“Why does the look on your face say that’s a bad thing?” Your heart begins to break when Mya lifts her head to show the tears surfacing to the edge of her eyes. You reach your hand over the table to capture Mya’s, trying to comfort her in any way.

“You know you can tell me anything. I won’t judge.” You nudge her to open up. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and squeezes your hand.

“I don’t think I’m Renjun’s soulmate. I think… I’m the opposite.” She admits, biting into her bottom lip. “I think I fell out of love. Soulmates can’t do that, right?” When you shake your head, she sighs and continues, “I think it happened a while ago actually, but I was too afraid to say anything because I still care about him, like a friend. We share a mark, so it could mean I’m the one who’s meant to hurt him the most, but, this is going to sound insane…” She lets some tears fall down her cheeks as she talks, and you can only grip her hand tighter to encourage her to speak.

“I don’t want to. I think I’m supposed to hurt him, but I don’t want to— not at all. How does any of this make sense?” The tears start to fall as she thinks more and more about the situation, why did fate have to be so unfair to her?

You always thought about how unfair it is that there’s going to be a person who hurts you and gets to walk away from the situation without a care. When it comes to Mya and your own story of how you got hurt, you realize hurt is a two way street sometimes. It’s not always malicious and spiteful, hurt can be just as much of a shared emotion as love.

“Hey, everything happens for a reason. Even if it hurts, it’s supposed to hurt for a reason. Or else, why would fate exist in the first place?” You’re not sure if these are the most comforting words you can give Mya at the moment, but she finds some comfort in your logic and nods her head.

“I should go talk to him, shouldn’t I?” When you nod your head, Mya sighs. She dreads having this conversation, even thinking about it makes her scared of how Renjun will react.

“When you have your thoughts in order, go to him and tell him how you feel. No matter what kind of relationship fate assigns you, it doesn’t take away all the time you spent together. It’ll be okay.”

Mya has a lot on her mind as she stands up and makes her way to your door, denying your request of walking her home or calling a cab. As she slides her shoes on, the bedroom door opens and closes quietly. Mya smiles at the man who walks up to you, some bags under his eyes and his light brown hair tousled, not surprising Mya the slightest.

“Is she okay?” You ask as he comes forward, worry lacing your words. The man nods and lovingly pats your head, telling you not to worry before turning to Mya.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t come out earlier to say hi, Mirae was sleeping on me and I didn’t want to wake her up.” He explains while his arm comes around your shoulders and he tiredly sets his chin against your head.

“It’s okay, Xiaojun, I’m the one who intruded. You guys should focus on Mirae, and maybe get some sleep.” Mya manages to smile as she glances at her phone, a message from Renjun reading “Where are you? Come home, I miss you” making her nerves from earlier arise.

“We’ll try,” You comment, “And hey, call me anytime. I’ll always be here for you.” Mya nods, sending a wave and walking out of the front door to walk the long way home. When the door closes, Xiaojun sighs and moves his head to your shoulder, snaking his other arm around your waist to pull you closer to him.

“Y/N… I’m so tired.” He whines, laughing through his words a bit. It sends chills down your spine when his lips brush against your bare skin and his breath tickles your neck. You tug on his shirt, pulling him closer and resting your head against him.

“That’s what happens when a baby is sick.” You sigh, and Xiaojun can already guess the question that’s about to leave your lips. “You don’t regret this, do you?”

Around the same time that Donghyuck left you, Xiaojun found his soulmate. She came into Xiaojun’s life as quickly as she left it, something about backpacking through Central America. Not sharing the same goals and dreams as his soulmate, it left Xiaojun heart broken and lost without the person who’s supposed to be his home.

He needed someone and you needed someone, too. And then it turned from needing the other’s presence to understanding each other in a different way than friends do, and then you realized… You’re in love.

When he decided to love Mirae as if she’s his own, that’s when you knew Xiaojun is the right choice for you. However, that didn’t stop you from wondering if Xiaojun ever regrets his decision.

“You ask that question all the time,” He leans back, his gentle hands cupping your jaw as you make eye contact, “You know I’ll always answer the same way. I never regret picking you.”

Xiaojun waits for the anxiety to leave your eyes before giving you a smile, brushing his thumb over your soft cheek. He wonders how he hasn’t fallen in love with you sooner, you being his childhood friend and all. He knows it’s probably because he has always been waiting for his soulmate and it blinded him from seeing the one he truly loves: you.

When he feels you fully relax into him, he leans in and softly presses his lips to yours. You melt into him instantly, letting him hold onto you as his lips move slowly against yours. The hand on your waist pulls you closer and you hear Xiaojun whine when your nails scratch on his back over his shirt.

You pull away before anything else can happen, and Xiaojun stares back at you with a pout that makes you giggle a bit.

“Maybe we really should go to sleep?” You ask, and Xiaojun nods. He takes one more look at you, that look full of adoration that always makes your heart jump and your face heat up no matter what, and then he leads you to your bedroom for, hopefully, a restful night of sleep.

The next time you hear from Mya, it’s when you’re walking home from work one evening.

Your phone rings loudly and kills whatever train of thought you were on, pulling you to your electronic device and pressing the answer button.

“Hey, hun, what’s up?” You hum into the phone, stepping over cracks in the sidewalk.

“I think it’s today. I think Renjun is going to propose to me today.” Her words make you stop in your tracks, making some people around you throw a glare at the sudden obstacle in the middle of the sidewalk.

“What? What happened?” You ask.

“He just called me and told me to go to campus, to the bell tower. I just know he’s going to propose.” You can hear the panicky tone rising in Mya’s voice and you feel her anxiety all the way through the phone.

“Didn’t you talk to him about it?” You try to make sense of the situation.

“I was going to when I planned out what I needed to say, but I’m not ready yet. Oh, my god, I can’t go see him. I can’t.” You can practically hear her shaking her head by the sound of her wavering voice. “Please, Y/N, help me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Mya, it’ll be okay. I’ll meet you in the front of the campus and we’ll go in together, okay?” You turn around abruptly, already planning the quickest way to get to the university in your head.

“Wait, what? I just said I can’t go there.”

“Think about it, if you don’t show up then Renjun will know something is wrong and bring it up first. If you do show up, then you can say what you need to first before anything else happens.” You explain as you weave through people on the sidewalk going home. “I don’t think you should drag this out any longer.”

“... Okay, okay, I’ll meet you there.” After saying goodbyes, you end the phone call and send a text to Xiaojun telling him you’ll be late tonight and saying you’ll explain later. You put your phone into your bag and quickly make your way to campus, playing with the ring on your finger out of worry for Mya.

When you arrive, Mya is already at the front gates, pacing back and forth as college students pass by and send her glances. You walk up to her, scooping her arm into yours and looping them together, calmly walking onto campus and towards the bell tower. You clutch your bag closer to your side, thinking about the one place you want to visit before leaving tonight.

“Have you thought about what you’ll say?” You ask quietly, but your voice still startles Mya and she jumps a bit in your hold.

“I can’t even think straight right now, I have no idea.” She grips your arm tighter.

“I believe in you. One way or another, you and Renjun are connected somehow. I think you already know what you have to say.” You ponder out loud.

“How?”

“Because it’s your fate, even if it’s a bad one. Some things in life are hard, but that’s why we can say we live.” Mya doesn’t look any more relaxed at your words, and you don’t blame her.

After walking for some time, you reach the bell tower. You can already see a figure of someone standing underneath it. The sun is setting behind the clock, and when you walk closer, you can see balloons and some candles lighting up the dimming area. Right before you reach the tower, you stop and let go of Mya’s arm. Giving her one last look of reassurance, you gently push her to Renjun.

You don’t hear exactly what happens next, since you’re standing too far away. But if you had to guess, Renjun noticed Mya and greeted her with the flowers he was holding. For a split second, you felt deja vu. Back when you were just a college student, you saw this exact same scene through a video— same people and same proposal.

There was a point when Renjun’s face changed that you know Mya broke the news. He looked confused and agitated, but most of all hurt. True pain breaks over his face, you can even see it from where you’re standing. You’ve never seen someone hurt by the one who is fated to bring them pain until now. Renjun looks like he could crumble into the asphalt and roll away with the wind, and it would still hurt less than standing there, hearing the words of betrayal from the one he thought was his soulmate.

You sympathize with him. It’s almost like you can feel that same feeling, like muscle memory in your heart forcing you to remember what it feels like to be hurt that way.

When Mya turns and walks away, you see the pain on her face too. When she passes you, she moves quicker than you and you aren’t able to stop her, only watching her walk towards the entrance of the campus.

You turn to look at Renjun, your heart seizing in surprise when you see two other familiar faces: Jaemin and Donghyuck.

He looks like he hasn’t changed one bit, but at the same time he isn’t who you remember. His hair is still that golden shade of brown, falling over his ears and down the back of his neck. His clothes look the same, his posture is still a bit hunched as always, but his eyes and his gaze look different as he stares back at you.

You aren’t sure why you’re still standing there, you don’t have anything to say to your three old college friends, so you politely nod at them and turn around, walking further into campus. You walk next to the buildings you used to know so well, your feet guiding you to the place your heart wants to go to the most.

You pull out your phone and start calling Mya. Once, twice, and after the third time, you send a text asking her to pick up the phone. There are so many places she could’ve gone, and you could probably catch up to her if you turn around and run, but your feet don’t listen to your brain and carry you to the place you’ve been yearning to see again since the second you stepped into campus.

The staircase looks the same as it did 5 years ago. You have changed, so has Donghyuck, but this staircase remains stagnant in time. The trees on the left side still sway over the stairs peacefully and the cracks in the stone wall on the right seem to not have changed either. You immediately feel comfort upon seeing this steep set of stairs, slowly starting to walk up while putting your phone into your bag.

One, two, three, four, the fifth step a little longer, then repeat.

When you reach the top, the air feels slightly cooler and you close your eyes for a moment. Not for too long, though, because you hear your name being called from the bottom of the staircase.

Donghyuck manages to catch your attention with his loud voice, his figure looking small. You stand in your spots for a bit longer, the sun setting behind the trees and the wind nipping at your nose. Until, suddenly, Donghyuck starts climbing the stairs.

One, two, three, four, every fifth stride a little longer, one hundred and nine times until he’s on the step right before yours, glancing at you through his hopeful eyes.

“I knew you would be here.” He’s slightly out of breath, but the cheekiness in his voice is still evident.

“I knew you would find me.” You say back, making him smile a bit, “But, I’m not sure what for. If it’s about what Mya did to Renjun, I don’t think that’s my place to explain.”

“No, there’s something I’m curious about. Actually, there’s so many things I want to know about you, but I have a feeling you won’t tell me everything I want to hear.” He bites his chapped lip, shoving his hands into the pockets of his oversized jacket. “Will you let me ask you a question?” The look on your face tells him to go on.

“Do you only have one mark?”

You cock an eyebrow, “It took you this long to figure out?”

He laughs, not out of humor but out of disbelief, and looks at his shoes. “I can’t believe it. All this time…” he mumbles and kicks the step he’s standing on. When he lifts his head to look at you, you’re surprised by the tears lining his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Your heart still hurts to see him in pain, even after everything, your soulmate connection is still strong.

“For hurting you. You knew what would happen all along, you knew how we would end up, but you still stayed with me. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t do anything to save us.” He sniffs, one tear falling down his eye. He tries to wipe it away quickly, but you still see it. Something in you pulls you towards him, something telling you to comfort him, but you hold back.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past now.” You bite your lip in thought as he nods, “Where did you find out about single-marked people?”

“I ran into an old classmate. When she explained it, I realized it sounded just like what happened to us—”

“What you did to me.” You quickly correct him, making the pain on his face fade away and a cold look present itself on his features.

“Hey, I know you understand why I did what I did.” He rebuttals.

“Just because I understand doesn’t mean I’ll forgive and forget.” You taunt back, feeling anger and irritation rise. You decide now is the time to walk away, talking the first step down the stairs where Donghyuck is standing. He stops you with a strong grasp on your left wrist, turning you to him and looking you straight in the eye.

“One more question. Whose ring is this?” He holds up your left hand to his face, eyeing the diamond that shines as he tilts your hand back and forth. His thumb rolls over the dragonfly that paints your hand, his identical mark peeking out of his sleeve and touching yours as he examines the ring.

“Xiaojun gave it to me.” Donghyuck flinches at the name, looking between you and your hand.

“Xiaojun…” He repeats, the name feeling heavy on his tongue, “Good. He’s a good guy.” You can tell how hard it is for him to get those words out of his mouth, as if he’s saying the words out loud to convince himself rather than just commenting. You gently try to take your hand away, but Donghyuck grips onto it more, dropping your hands down between you two.

“Wait, one more question.”

You sigh restlessly, “You said that about the last question.”

“No, seriously, this is the last one.” You pause for a moment to compose yourself before nodding slowly, signaling him to go ahead and ask.

“Will you ever be able to do it? To forgive me, and to forget what I did?” His voice holds so much hope you’re almost afraid of talking, since you know your words will break whatever last piece of expectation he has left. You gently take his hand, stepping closer to him to slide it into his jacket pocket. You wipe some pollen off of his shoulder, looking him in the eyes afterwards.

“One day, when we’ve found our place in this world and the pain we gave each other is just a distant memory, I will forgive you. But I’ll never be able to forget how you left me when I needed you most. In this world where love is chosen for you, I turned my back on fate and I chose love. It’ll never be the same as when I was with you, but that’s not what I need. I need someone who will love me— someone who will stay when things go good or bad. Someone who will stay for life.” You explain, “And actually, I’ll start forgiving you now.”

You dig into your bag, finding your wallet and producing a photo from one of the slots that’s supposed to be for a card.

“This is Mirae. I can already tell she’s going to have your eyes and your hair when she grows older,” You can’t help but smile, watching Donghyuck’s every emotion as they move through his face. Surprise, fondness, instant love. “We’re always going to be tied together from now on. Not because of this,” You point to the dragonfly that’s imprinted on his hand, “But because of her.” You point to the picture that he’s gripping tightly.

Donghyuck looks at the photo for what seems like hours. The little girl in the photo is laughing at someone behind the camera, holding a rubber duck in her small hands. She's a perfect mixture between you and Donghyuck, and you’re right, she does have his eyes.

Donghyuck has never felt this much regret in his whole life.

“I have to go,” You say, pulling out your phone when you hear it buzz in your bag to see Mya calling you, “But don’t be a stranger. I never changed my phone number.” And with that, you walk down the stairs. When you get to the bottom, Donghyuck watches you turn and wave to him before disappearing behind the stone wall.

He grips the picture in his hand, not able to look away from his daughter who stares back at him with the same eyes. The sunset has ended and Donghyuck eventually makes the slow walk back down the stairs to find Renjun and Jaemin.

He keeps looking at the picture the entire walk back, thinking about the choices he made when he was younger. He realized he cared a lot about what his marks made him; the sunflower on his knee made him a stranger to his father, and the dragonfly on his left hand made him a stranger to his daughter.

Even though he thought he took the cautionary steps, in the end, he ended up exactly the way he never wanted to be— like his dad

The marks on bodies help guide people to their fate, but there is more to life than fate. Sometimes, you have to take destiny by the reigns and pull it your way. And with this picture— with this new chance to begin again, Donghyuck will do just that.

#haechan #nct dream au #nct fluff #nct angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct scenario #nct imagine #nct blurb #nct fic #nct dream fic #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream blurbs #00 line #dreamies

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mercurytrinemoon · 3 years

Text

If you want to look into your chart to see your commited partner/marriage

I see so many folks asking about this & I feel like people look for these things in the wrong places or they’re instantly reaching for some obscure techniques (persona charts?? Random asteroids?? Never saw it really describing anything correctly. That’s like the last thing you should look at). Get your basics covered first. Your primary energies in the natal chart can tell you SO SO much. Okay let’s goooooo

1. Your descendant/7th house, duh. What sign is it in? If you have any planets in the 7th, look at them. Look at the ruler of the 7th. In what house it sits in? What aspects does it have? I’d look at classic rulership first btw. Also, for a predictive work like this, try exploring your chart with whole sign system.

Some basic examples of characteristics of partners according to planets in the 7th:

Sun: happy partnership, someone that is somewhat known in certain circles, generous, fun, inspiring, works in creative fields, an entrepreneur or a business person, someone who simply shines; marriage can come a bit later in life

Moon: partner that is caring or even parental towards you, family-oriented, sensitive, moody, stay-at-home partner, working in fields associated with nurturing or food (or anything that makes you feel nice); can also bring popularity; can marry young

Mercury: an intellectual, or someone with a “mercurial” occupation (communication, travel; teacher, writer, accountant etc.), a worldly person, sociable, talkative, possibly someone younger or of a young spirit; this also means you can marry earlier in life

Venus: a harmonious partner, a romantic, non-confrontational, an eye-candy, diplomatic nature, can work in any “venusian” industry (arts, food etc.), financialy stable; this also should bring harmony and luck in relationships*

Mars: an energetic partner, assertive, full of passion, independent, a leader, someone who constatnly keeps you on your toes, great motivator, a masculine type (regardless of gender), may work in a military/police etc.

Jupiter: a successfull partner, jolly, popular, possibly from a different background/culture/a foreigner, spiritual, philosophical, a teacher, can work in entertainment; you may meet while traveling or marry abroad; brings great luck*

Saturn: someone older than you, a mature person, disciplined, patient, possibly a widow/a widower; marriage can come later than expected

Uranus: an eccentric partner, intelligent, full of surprises, innovative, creative, someone working in science or tech-related fields; unconventional partnership; you may marry suddenly (and divorce as fast lol)

Neptune: spiritual, intuitive, sensitive, working overseas or in artistic fields; you’re looking for a soulmate; you may actually never marry your partner because something always gets in the way

Pluto: intuitive, magnetic, spiritual, persuasive, can work as a psychiatrist or a crime detector or in fields associated with science; a power couple; you may marry in secret

*Venus is the greater benefic for those with a night chart (Sun below the asc/dsc axis); Jupiter is the greater benefic for those with a day chart (Sun above the asc/dsc axis). Look to see which will bring you more luck in life.

If you have no planets in the 7th, just look at its ruler and the aspects it makes. Now lemme give you an example of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Just so you have a better understanding of how to approach this.

Angelina's descendant is in Capricorn so we look at Saturn. Using equal house system, it falls into her 12th house (actually her Venus as well), it can denote having secret relationships and affairs. That's how her relationship with Pitt started. Her Saturn squares Jupiter - Brad's a double Sagittarius. His descendant ruler is Mercury and it's a part of a stellium, which consists of Mars, Venus and Moon - I think it's obvious that Angelina is an embodiment of those energies. She's a nurturing Cancer rising, with charming & sexy Venus on the ascendant and she has a strong, fiery Aries Mars. And, obviously, she’s a Gemini.

(I could get into their synastry, in which they check all the basic & important rules of a relationship but that's not the point. Btw their synastry is kind of mind-blowing, these ascendant-vertex conjunctions? I mean WOW).

2. Depending on your gender (that’s a traditional way of looking at it but screw heteronormativity so do whatever floats your boat) OR depending if your chart is more masculine or feminine: Sun and Mars for feminine folks; Moon and Venus for masculine; if you’re non-binary, look at both or what you feel like will suit you most. This is for more what YOU are attracted to although Sun and Moon are said to show your spouse.

Venus specifically symbolizes love so you may look at the house it falls in to see where you may find it. For example, if it’s in your 3rd house, you may meet them somewhere local, doing every-day stuff; in school or through your siblings. The house your Venus is in shows where your charms and beauty are seen the most. For example, if it’s in the 11th it’s more probable you’ll date one of your friends cause you’re seen as attractive in your friend group. Also, some houses aren’t straightforwardly assigned to places so I guess for some houses it works better.

Your descendant ruler may apply to this technique as well but can moreso show traits that will further characterize your spouse. For example, descendant ruler in the 8th - they may be an accountant; in the 10th - may be someone well-established; 5th - may work with children or be of a creative nature etc.

3. Derivative house system: just flip your chart. Listen, it partially makes sense that 8th house stands for shared resources. For example, if you have benefics in the 8th house it can point to having a wealthy partner through whom you yourself will get rich or whatever. Well it coincides with the theory that your 8th house is your partner’s symbolic 2nd house. You can use derivative house system from any point in your chart but we’re talking about your partner, so just flip your chart upside down. Just DON’T read it in a literal sense.

I’ll give you an example of my mom’s chart. When we flip it, she has Neptune in the 2nd house. Her ex-husband, my dad, was earning money as a sailor (this also, later in life, meant that money was slipping through his fingers and that brought material instability). This is further backed up by Jupiter on the MC and even by Sun in the 9th house - all points to long travels and working in foreign lands. Stellium in the 10th also means he became a career-oriented person.

Obviously, when you flip your chart, it will say the opposite of your natal. So you’re thinking, “in my natal my desc ruler is in the 10th and when I look at it upside down it’s in the 4th - that’s the complete opposite! *Oprah voice* So what is the truth??? Am I marrying someone family- or career-oriented???” It’s important to point that derivative house system is activated once you get married/enter a stable, commited relationship. So this is something to look at additionally.

5. Other fun stuff to look at: Jupiter. In vedic astrology Jupiter represents the husband but we’re doing western so that’s not my point (ha! I got you there, didn’t I?). Jupiter stands for legal matters. It’s very common to see lots of Jupiter in synastry of married couples (bonus points if there’s flowing Jupiter-Jupiter aspects). Juno, which is one of the main, early discovered asteroids, symbolizes marriage and commitment; it also shows the way we balance things out, compromise and show fairness. It can tell us how we’re approaching these things and what we look for in a potential stable partner.

#phewww i hope i covered everything #astrology #mercurytrinemoon #astro notes #astro stuff #7th house #venus #descendant #derivative house system

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Sufficiently strong emotionally-charged moments of physical contact can occasionally forge long-term telepathic bonds between cultivators. These bonds are usually based on positive emotions like familial or romantic love, or deep feelings of friendship, but the emotions don’t necessarily have to be positive to forge a bond. Wei Wuxian is very upset to find out that punching Jin Zixuan in the face apparently counts as a sufficiently strong emotionally-charged moment of physical contact.

on ao3

Wei Wuxian had been obsessed with the idea of a resonant bond ever since he first learned about it.

Sure, it was a rarity. It was easier for a cultivator to find a friend, a lover, or even a soulmate than it was for them to create a resonant bond, which required not merely liking or understanding or even love but rather a single moment in time in which two cultivators were on exactly the same wavelength.

Their cultivation strength, their frame of mind, the state of their bodies, the exact way in which they touched – in that one moment, everything would be exactly the same, and the Heavens would forget for that brief moment to see the two as separate, like two separate raindrops merging into one before the moment passed, some difference introduced, and they were broken apart into separate beings again. Yet even after they separated, they would irrevocably retain some aspects of the other, a connection that generally manifested, it was said, as a mental bond that could not be broken, a tie that would keep them bound together no matter the distance.

Such a thing could not be worked towards, only hoped for; it was a matter of luck.

Wei Wuxian had never wanted anything more in his life.

The thought of never being alone again – it enticed him, it excited him. Jiang Cheng could wrinkle his nose in distaste at the idea that he might not be alone in his mind anymore, that someone would see all the stupid or terrible things he sometimes thought, but to Wei Wuxian that was the best part: that someone would see you and know you and you would see and know them, too. To have someone to accompany you through the best and worst moments of your life, always at your side…

To never fear abandonment, to never need to worry about someone going out only for a little and then never coming back.

It would be amazing.

That was what Wei Wuxian thought.

Well, that was what he thought right up until he punched Jin Zixuan in the face for insulting his shijie, his whole heart burning at the unfairness of adults who didn’t understand, at other boys who didn’t appreciate what they had, at everything all around them and at his own weakness in not being able to do more, and something just –

Clicked.

“Hey, wake up! Wake up! Are you all right?”

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes, only to be assaulted with what felt like double vision. Above him were Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, hovering and looking anxious, and from the corner of his eye he could see Lan Wangji, who he so enjoyed teasing, was sweeping over to them with a grim expression – and yet at the same time he thought he could perceive different faces above him as well.

Three young men and two women, all looking down at him with smiles like sharks, ready to devour. Each one of them draped in the gold they lusted to take from his hands –

What the fuck? Wei Wuxian thought groggily. How did I end up on the ground?

Good question. I didn’t think I got punched that hard.

Wait, Wei Wuxian thought. Hold up, I got punched? I didn’t even see the peacock lift his fists!

…Wei Wuxian? Is that – you?

Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide when he realized he hadn’t said any of that out loud, that to judge from Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang’s chatter they hadn’t heard either him nor the other voice. Which meant that the voice had to be...in his head. Is this – this is a resonant bond. We formed a resonant bond!

Shit, Jin Zixuan thought, because it was Jin Zixuan, wasn’t it? Shit, shit, shit. Please don’t say anything about this to anyone!

What? Why?

Please!

Wei Wuxian hadn’t even known that the peacock knew that word.

Fine, he said, feeling generous on account of the whole bond business. I won’t tell. For now.

“Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang asked, looking worriedly fretful. “Are you all right? You haven’t said anything.”

“I’m fine,” he said, rubbing his head and trying to think of a lie to explain why he fell over like that. “I think the peacock must’ve had a talisman or a defensive weapon or something. Whatever it is, I’m fine now.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re all right,” Jiang Cheng said, looking deeply relieved. And then, a moment later – “Because I’m going to kill you - !”

There wasn’t too much time to talk after that. Wei Wuxian was sentenced to kneeling, and then his Uncle Jiang arrived and Sect Leader Jin arrived – oh no, oh no, oh no, I fucked up, Jin Zixuan thought hopelessly, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel a bit of the same – and the next thing Wei Wuxian knew, the engagement between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli was broken and he was being sent to pack up his things, to be taken home at once.

Jin Zixuan was swept away by his father, too.

“A pity about the engagement,” Sect Leader Jin remarked idly as they walked together. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have said such a thing. Your mother will be disappointed.”

Wei Wuxian could feel the way that that jabbed at Jin Zixuan’s heart like a stab with a sword.

“Still, it’s no harm,” the man continued, indifferently ignoring the impact his words had had on his son. “One could even call it a gain! You won’t be burdened down with that shrew’s daughter anymore.”

That what?!

Tune out of this conversation, please, Jin Zixuan said, his thoughts dull and sluggish and resigned. It’s going to get worse from here on out.

It did.

Sect Leader Jin commented at some great length about his views on Madame Yu’s many faults – her temper, her strength, her nosiness, her thought that she was worth anything other than a pair of legs and an inheritance – and contrasted it with some salacious comments on her positive traits – mostly the legs, with a few comments on the upper half as well – and then he started speculating about Jiang Yanli, too, in a way that made Wei Wuxian’s blood boil.

It’s not about her, Jin Zixuan told him, his voice a little desperate in a familiar way – he was used to having to defend his father, and just as obviously didn’t want to. He’s building up a defense.

What?

For my mother. She’ll be angry at him for agreeing to break the engagement, so he’ll say that it was my idea, say all this stuff, and then she’ll be angry at me for believing it, instead, even though I don’t. This isn’t what I wanted at all.

Wei Wuxian frowned. You wanted to marry my shijie? You sure didn’t show it!

No, I just didn’t want to marry anybody, Jin Zixuan said, and…okay, fine, that was a pretty respectable position. Wei Wuxian didn’t particularly want to marry anyone yet, either. I just got angry when everyone was talking about how it was a done deal, that’s all. Just one more thing that got picked for me.

Wei Wuxian had heard Jiang Cheng complain about similar enough things – how much of his life was selected in advance, how much was organized for the benefit of his sect rather than his own interests, how little choice he got. How even if he’d been as good as Wei Wuxian, or even better, he still wouldn’t have been able to go out and hunt pheasants all day the way Wei Wuxian did.

He refused to feel sympathy. Well, you shouldn’t have taken it out on my shijie!

Probably not. Jin Zixuan was silent for a moment. It probably doesn’t help, but I’m sorry for my rudeness.

Wei Wuxian hated it when people were reasonable. It made it so much harder to stay angry at them.

Are you going to tell me why I can’t tell people about this bond yet? he asked. You’d better have a good reason, I had to put up with an entire scolding from Jiang Cheng because I didn’t have a good excuse!

Later tonight. I promise.

That night, Wei Wuxian excused himself early and hid himself in his room on the boat. He knew that he was giving both Uncle Jiang and Jiang Cheng the impression that he was feeling deeply guilty about having broken the engagement, thereby making them feel bad about it, which he didn’t intend, but he really wanted to hear the reason. If it wasn’t good enough, he’d really break Jin Zixuan’s nose this time!

It really is a good reason!

Well, then? If it’s so good, don’t keep me in suspense!

Jin Zixuan sighed. Wei Wuxian felt it like an exhalation on his cheek, as if Jin Zixuan were right there beside him. You know how a resonant bond is supposed to be equal?

What do you mean ‘supposed to be’? Wei Wuxian asked, and felt something cold in his belly.

There are forbidden techniques, ancient ones, that are designed to manipulate a resonant bond into an unequal state. To make one side the master and the other the slave.

That’s disgusting!

If we told anyone, my father would find a way to get one, Jin Zixuan said, and he wasn’t guessing. His voice was utterly certain. There’s very little money can’t buy, and he wouldn’t be able to resist the idea of having a spy in the very heart of the Jiang clan.

Well, then just don’t tell him!

Just like I didn’t tell him about what I said about your shijie?

Wei Wuxian got tripped up by that. It was true, Jin Zixuan hadn’t said a word about what had happened, and yet his father had already known every last detail. How..?

One of my ‘friends’ told him, of course. Probably more than one, actually – I wouldn’t be surprised if they all passed it along. It’s what he pays them for.

He pays for your friends to spy on you?!

I already told you that there’s little money can’t buy. Why not friends?

I wouldn’t be friends with people who accepted money to spy on me. Why do you?

If it’s not this set, it’ll be another, and it’s all the same. If they won’t be bought, then I can’t be friends with them…anyway, I’ve gotten used to these ones.

All of them? Wei Wuxian asked. Even Mianmian? She didn’t seem the type…

Her name is Luo Qingyang, and yes. Her parents are sick and my father’s paying for the treatment; if she doesn’t tell him everything, he’ll cut off funds…she told me about it, though. Said that if there was ever a time that I wanted her to ‘forget’ to report something, she could do that. That’s more than most would do, and probably about as much as anyone can expect –

Have you ever had a friend that wasn’t bought? Wei Wuxian asked. I mean…ever?

Jin Zixuan was silent.

Well, that wouldn’t do.

Well, I guess you have me now, Wei Wuxian thought, with only a tiny amount of self-pity for the stupidity of agreeing to be friends with Jin Zixuan. Still, if he’d survived his efforts at being Lan Wangji’s friend, he could survive anything. No one’s going to buy me!

But –

Nope! No take-backs! We have a resonant bond, peacock. You think I’m going to waste a gift from the Heavens like this just because it’s with you? You’ve got another thing coming!

…can you at least stop calling me a peacock?!

Madame Yu made her displeasure clear enough when Wei Wuxian returned, ordering him to kneel all night and do every available chore and things like that, but Wei Wuxian didn’t take it to heart – he never did, really.

Like Jiang Cheng, Madame Yu’s bark was worse than her bite: for all that she hissed and spat and punished him with kneeling or holding up weights, she’d never denied him resources, kept him back from training, or even denied him the spot of head disciple to promote another less qualified in his place, which she very well might have if she were a bit pettier.

So he didn’t take it personally, even if Jin Zixuan seemed indignant on his behalf – you were defending her daughter! You’d think she’d give you some leeway for that, at least! – and at any rate it was better than Jin Zixuan’s slow meandering way home, with his father disappearing every night into a brothel or the bedroom of some innkeeper’s daughter or something like that.

It was better than Jin Zixuan’s mother’s reaction, too, which was to scream and shout and say vicious nasty things, to smash plates and vases against the walls right over his head, and then to pull him into her arms and make him promise over and over again that he would never betray her.

I think I suffered more in terms of physical exertion, but you get full points for all the emotional devastation, Wei Wuxian said after Jin Zixuan returned to hide in his bedroom. Does she do that a lot?

All the time, Jin Zixuan said. All the fucking time.

After a moment, he added, guiltily, It’s only that she loves me –

Ugh, don’t even start with that, Wei Wuxian said. Complaining about awful parent-related trauma is boring, I get enough of it from Jiang Cheng. Help me figure out what I should do tomorrow: flying kites, swimming, or hunting pheasants? Oh, or fishing!

…seriously? Do you spend any time cultivating?

Oh, come on. It’s my first day back!

That just means you have more you need to catch up on!

Your shijie is really nice.

I told you!

You didn’t! You just hit me!

Wei Wuxian loved having a resonant bond.

Sure, it wasn’t with someone useful like Jiang Cheng or even wonderful like Lan Wangji – I can hear you, you know – but it was kind of nice to have someone to complain to when it would be awkward to put it onto Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli.

The other half being Jin Zixuan was also not as bad as he had first thought it would be. Sure, he was just as spoiled, arrogant, vain, and deeply cynical about human nature as Wei Wuxian had thought – I can still hear you! – but he was also an awkward introvert with no social skills and an over-active guilt complex – fuck you too, Wei Wuxian – and, in the sum total of things, surprisingly tolerable. Thanks? I think?

It’d certainly made the indoctrination camp more tolerable, even if it did mean having two people talking in his ear about how he needed to think more about the consequences of his actions and how it might reflect on his sect, and certainly having Jin Zixuan confirming that the other disciples had made it out of the cave and were moving at full speed to try to get help made the days he was waiting with Lan Wangji a lot less stressful, and their ensuing rescue a lot easier.

But sometimes –

This is a terrible idea! You can’t do it!

You don’t get a say! Wei Wuxian snarled. This is my decision.

Fuck you, Jin Zixuan said. A moment later, quieter: Is this because I couldn’t make it to you in time to help?

Wei Wuxian swallowed, feeling his eyes burn. The Wen attack was a surprise to everyone, he said. Even if you were able to convince your father to let you go help with everyone you had, it wouldn’t – you wouldn’t have made it in time to do anything.

After his father had refused, Jin Zixuan had snuck out of Jinlin Tower through what he’d thought was a secret passage and tried to go anyway, only to be caught and dragged back. Wei Wuxian appreciated the effort, even if it didn’t make a difference in the end.

When they were on the run from the Wen sect, after, Jin Zixuan had encouraged Wei Wuxian to head to Lanling, swearing that he wouldn’t allow anyone to turn them over to the Wen sect, but they hadn’t gotten that far.

And now…

It’s my choice, Wei Wuxian said. You don’t get a say.

Fuck you, Jin Zixuan said again, but his voice was softer. Fine. But I’m here for you.

Wei Wuxian smiled, just a little bit, and told to Wen Qing to start.

I’m going to murder my father, Jin Zixuan said, conversationally. And then go to the hell reserved for patricides and be reborn as a chicken right before slaughter.

For shame, Wei Wuxian said. Not even a lamb or a goat?

No, I want to be able to bite someone and mean it, and chickens are better at that than goats.

Wei Wuxian giggled, a little hysterically. It’s fine, he said, looking around the Burial Mounds. It’s fine that he won’t let you come to my rescue immediately. Not like I’m going anywhere.

He’d thought – they’d both thought – that the resonant bond would break or maybe transfer to Jiang Cheng along with Wei Wuxian’s golden core, but it hadn’t.

Wei Wuxian had been depressingly grateful for it, for the by now familiar Lanling cadence of Jin Zixuan in his head. It made the horrible quiet empty of the Burial Mounds a little more tolerable, a little less awful.

Anyway, he said briskly, shaking off his terror at being here alone but for the voice in his head. I have an idea…

I feel like if I knew Chifeng-zun looked like that I would’ve made befriending Nie Huaisang more of a priority when I was younger.

I know, right? Wei Wuxian thought back. Just…wow.

A moment later, he added, a little irritably, I thought you were into my shijie again?

I am! I’m allowed to have eyes, okay?

Not if you’re surnamed Jin you aren’t.

Fuck you.

Nope. And Chifeng-zun isn’t going to, either.

He could feel Jin Zixuan rolling his eyes. I don’t even want him to, I was really just looking. Anyway, how’s Lan Wangji doing?

Lan Zhan? He’s – well, he’s always bothering me about going back to Gusu with him, talking about how my demonic cultivation is dangerous to me, but oh, you should have seen him when he joins us to fight..! You can forgive anything, really, just to watch him move – Wei Wuxian paused. Wait, why are you asking?

No reason.

Jin Zixuan! You tell me this instant -

Jin Zixuan was locking Wei Wuxian out of his head again.

It was a technique they’d worked on developing together – with some assistance from Wei Wuxian’s brilliance and Jin Zixuan’s ability to find and purchase extremely rare reference texts, whether on resonant bonds or just more generally, including when Wei Wuxian had needed some help figuring out some things about demonic cultivation while trapped on the Burial Mounds – as it had become moderately urgent following Jin Zixuan’s first spring dream involving Jiang Yanli, and even more so once he’d decided that he really did want to marry her, actually, if she’d be willing to have him.

There were some things Wei Wuxian did not need to know about his shijie.

Still, it was unusual for him to block him during the day. One might even call it suspicious.

I’m sorry, Jin Zixuan said abruptly. It had to be done, and you weren’t going to do it.

Huh? What are you talking about…?

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng shouted, and Wei Wuxian turned, surprised. His shidi’s eyes were red as if he’d been crying, and he ran up and pulled him into his arms. “Wei Wuxian…!”

“What?” he asked, puzzled. “What’s this about…?”

“How could you?!” Jiang Cheng demanded, weeping into his neck. “You should have told me – you had no right to – to give me – Wei Wuxian!”

Wei Wuxian’s back went stiff. You didn’t!

It was the truth or you getting kicked out of your sect! He needed to know!

Fuck you! It wasn’t your choice to make!

I’m not going to stand by and let you get schemed against, Jin Zixuan said. Certainly not by my own father. I won’t!

I’m going to make you pay for this, Wei Wuxian said darkly, then looked down at Jiang Cheng in his arms. And possibly thank you for it. But I’m definitely going to make you pay!

This may sound weird, Jin Zixuan said. But I think I’m being poisoned.

Based on what I know about Lanling Jin sect and its politics, it’s not weird at all, Wei Wuxian said instinctively, then frowned. Are you serious? It’s not just baby fatigue or something?

That’s what I thought at first, too. But now I’m not so sure. He was silent for a moment. I don’t want to sound like my mother, but…

You think it’s Lianfeng-zun? I’m not saying he doesn’t have the most motive for it, but do you really think..? He seems so nice.

He is, most of the time. Jin Zixuan sighed. Maybe I really am just tired.

Wei Wuxian didn’t think so. He’d had a half-dozen years of listening to the backstabbing, vicious world of Jinlin Tower under his belt by now – had fought bitterly in the war only to fight even more bitterly for something like the right to attend his own shijie’s wedding, something that ought to have been his by right – had nearly suffered an ambush when he tried to attend Jin Ling’s first month party, with Jin Zixun attacking him and Wen Ning going unexpectedly crazy and Jin Zixuan rushing over as fast as he could to make them all stop. If he hadn’t already known about Jin Zixuan not knowing about this, if he hadn’t felt something go wrong and thrown himself in between them without thinking, Jin Zixuan might’ve died there and then on the Qiongqi path.

If Jin Zixuan thought he was being poisoned, he was probably being poisoned.

I’ll come visit you and look into it, Wei Wuxian said. We can pretend that I’m there to visit shijie.

They’d long ago confessed the truth to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, of course. For some reason, neither had looked all that surprised.

With your reputation, even if you figured something out, who’d believe you? Jin Zixuan asked. Ask Hanguang-jun if he’ll come, his reputation will bear up.

Lan Zhan? Sure! I’m always happy to work with him. But you know, he’s been ignoring me recently…I don’t know why…

Tell him about the resonant bond.

What? I thought we were still keeping it a secret.

Tell him. He doesn’t tell anyone anything.

Good point, I guess. You think that’ll help him stop ignoring me?

Yes.

Wei Wuxian generally trusted Jin Zixuan’s reading of people, now that he was mature enough not to let his personal feelings cloud his judgment. All right, I will. Can you tell me why?

You’ll find out when you tell him.

Unhelpful.

Noted and ignored.

Fuck you.

Yeah, you too. See you soon.

Jin Zixuan?

Yeah?

Thank you for my love life, but also, FUCK YOU.

#mdzs #wei wuxian #jin zixuan #my fic #my fics #resonant bond #this one is set in the untamed but only barely #lesbianjinzixuan

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