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tweetsongs · 1 year

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Transmigrating into the Reborn Male Lead’s Ex-Boyfriend Chapter 153

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so. funny story. i started reading this fun little webnovel, only to find out halfway through that the translation hadn't been updated in about a year, and there were only three untranslated chapters left.

me, a consumate completionist: oh, i think i could handle that!

please keep in mind that this is a translation by someone who hasn't read chinese since they were *checks notes* seven years old, and is completely unedited. the goal of this was mostly to have something more readable than the mtl. when the CG translation group updates i'll link to them instead since i'm sure i missed a ton of nuance/got a bunch of stuff wrong.

you can find chapters 1-152 here! be sure to send love to the og translators

anyways for anyone else foaming to know what happened to sxh and xym and their ridiculous love story here's chapter 153.

Except for his greeting at the very beginning, Xue Mian did not speak to Song Xuanhe again.

He constantly stayed quietly by Master McPhail’s side, occasionally laughing gently and speaking very little, like he had already left the entertainment circle. His beauty and gentle manner led many people to gaze over at him, lingering for a few moments.

It was obvious that Master McPhail was also fond of him, often pausing during his conversations to turn to Xue Mian to explain bits of complicated terminology without concealing the fond look in his eyes. Because of this, everyone present could see that Master McPhail liked his companion very much.

Master McPhail had always been known as a master jewelry craftsman with an independent personality, who rarely invested in or cooperated with others professionally. The fact that he came with the Xue family this time already surprised many people, and their surprise only grew as they saw how happy he looked with the Xue family heir.

These masters at the apex of the design industry weren’t the types to be concerned about any treasured heirs from some bigshot family, but if the person in question was a child that their friend looked fondly upon- well, that was a different matter.

In a matter of moments, the majority of the banquet guests were looking towards Xue Mian’s gentle expression.

Song Xuanhe observed all of this. Rather than grabbing a seat at a banquet table to talk with anyone, he sat by a window silently, sipping his tea as he thought.

This banquet was something that he dreamed of, to the point that at the beginning, he already had several designs for outfits and had talked to several of his peers and Feng Tong about his thoughts and creative visions for his debut. Normally, Song Xuanhe would be ecstatic to be able to talk shop with these like-minded people.

However, for a few days now, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of foreboding.

He didn’t know why, but he constantly felt a sense of unease in the pit of his stomach, and found it difficult to calm himself down.

He couldn’t shake off the memory of the vague words that Xiao Yuanmu had said at lunch that day, and the strange expression on his face after he talked with Xiao Lin. He could tell that these things were connected, but no matter how he tried to connect the dots in his mind, he couldn’t string together the clues into a single answer.

“Mr. Song.”

A voice spoke by his ear. Song Xuanhe lifted his eyes to an unfamiliar face.

The person approaching laughed, and lifted a finger to point at a table in the middle of the room. They spoke in a soft voice: “I heard that you snatched up Master McPhail’s cufflinks, and now he wants to look for you.”

Song Xuanhe followed his pointed finger and, sure enough, he saw the smiling Master McPhail. Not only that, beside him were other familiar faces: not only Xue Mian, but also Feng Tong, Bai Mo, and Jiang Deyi.

“Did you bring the cufflinks?” The person swept their gaze over Song Xuanhe’s sleeve. When he didn’t see anything, he continued: “My friend, you were able to attend Master McPhail’s banquet because of those cufflinks. If you are not wearing those cufflinks, it might seem like you’re not respecting the host.”

Song Xuanhe acknowledged the good advice, giving his thanks with a composed expression. He then said: “The cufflinks are currently with the person that are best suited for them. I believe that Master McPhail understands that.”

The person nodded. “Once Master McPhail speaks to you, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Song Xuanhe put down the tea in his hand and began to walk towards where Master McPhail was. The closer he got, the more he was able to see the mood of the cluster of people there. The corner of his smile deepened as he came to stop beside Master McPhail.

“Hello, Mr. Song,” Master McPhail gestured for him to sit, then said laughingly: “I heard that it was you who bought my cufflinks. I won’t lie- out of everything I’ve made in my life, those cufflinks are the things I’m most proud of. When I first agreed to participate in the option, I was very conflicted. But now, looking at you, I think that they’ve found a pretty good owner.”

The corners of Song Xuanhe’s eyes turned up, his gaze clear and limpid. Looking into his eyes, his sincere admiration and respect was obvious. “Out of all the things I’ve bought for my collections, these cufflinks are my favorite.”

Master McPhail’s face grew happier at the words, and he said: “Then, child, would you allow me to meet those cufflinks one last time for a goodbye?”

Song Xuanhe ran the corner of his gaze across Feng Tong’s worried face, as well as the frowns that Xue Mian, Jiang Deyi, and Bai Mo couldn’t quite hide from their eyes. He then smiled and said, shaking his head: “I’m afraid not, Master McPhail. I’m not currently wearing those cufflinks.”

“How strange that something Mr. Song loves and treasures so much wouldn’t be worn to the banquet hosted by our host,” Bai Mo said, smiling. “I imagine that there was some sort of misunderstanding that made you forget about them, or that they aren’t suited to the outfit you coordinated for today. There must be many reasons for something like this happening.”

Master McPhail’s smile didn’t change, as if he hadn’t heard what Bai Mo said. Instead, he continued to smile at Song Xuanhe and asked: “May I know the reason, child?”

Song Xuanhe nodded, his eyes crinkling upwards slightly. His eyes were shining as if they were filled with diamonds, sparkling with fragments of light. He said: “Right now, those cufflinks are on the person I love most in the world. He likes them very much.”

Master McPhail fell silent for a few moments, before raising his hand to pat Song Xuanhe’s arm. “I hope that the person wearing those cufflinks will be able to receive the blessing that I gave them when I was making them.”

“What kind of blessing?” Song Xuanhe asked.

“A love that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.” Master McPhail smiled again, eyes fond. “I’ll give this blessing to you as well.”

Song Xuanhe wasn’t sure why, but he felt a tingling behind his nose. He dipped his head and said: “Thank you for your blessings.”

Master McPhail patted his arm again, and moved his eyes to the manuscripts he was holding. “I noticed your design manuscripts earlier. If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind if I took a look?”

Song Xuanhe’s distracted gaze caught Feng Tong’s excited and nervous look, as if Feng Tong were afraid that Song Xuanhe would reject his offer. He urged him with his eyes to quickly accept.

“Of course you can.” Feng Tong was overreacting. There was no way that Song Xuanhe could reject the chance for Master McPhail to critique him.

Master McPhail took the manuscripts and looked over them, eyes bright and expression happy. As he began to speak, he paused and looked over to the rest of the people with him, saying: “If these gentlemen don’t mind, I’d like to speak with Mr. Song alone.”

Xue Mian laughed a little. “As it turns out, I was just thinking of going to grab a drink. Does anyone want to come with me?”

Feng Tong responded immediately that he would go. Bai Mo and Jiang Deyi looked at each other, then glanced at Song Xuanhe coldly before leaving as well.

Actually, this banquet was meant to be an open place to critique, with many design manuscripts piled on tables as people around them discussed them. There was no need to send anyone away.

That’s why, when everyone began to walk away, Song Xuanhe looked warily at Master McPhail. He smiled back without explaining, and instead began to ask him about his inspirations.

“I saw a video of your first show and your designs are inventive and clever, especially your use of color. However, these designs seem to be a bit different from the ones I saw before. Can you tell me about that?”

Song Xuanhe pulled back his train of thought, and began to discuss with Master McPhail. The discussion stretched into the night, the two never seeming to run out of energy. As they spoke, Master McPhail even pulled over some old friends to introduce them to him. One of them was a designer for a popular international luxury brand, and they were very interested in Song Xuanhe’s designs, exchanging contact information with him.

Until the end of the party, Song Xuanhe took full advantage of his time.

As dinnertime drew closer, people began to leave one by one. Master McPhail kept a few of his old friends around to have dinner with him. Because of their lively discussion, Song Xuanhe was also invited to stay, but he chose to tactfully refuse the invitation.

Xue Mian, hearing this, looked at him in surprise. Before, he had seen Song Xuanhe’s involvement in the design industry as a frivolous gamble. After this afternoon, he had to change his mind. He saw now that Song Xuanhe really did have talent in design, to the point where Master McPhail acknowledged his skills. Song Xuanhe himself seemed to genuinely treasure this opportunity as well, so when Master McPhail invited him, Xue Mian thought that he would definitely join them.

Even if Xiao Yuanmu returned today, Xue Mian had thought that there would be plenty of things that Song Xuanhe prioritized over him.

Once again, he was proven wrong.

Song Xuanhe explained: “It’s because of the person I bought the cufflinks for. We haven’t seen each other in thirty-two hours, so I can’t help but want to meet him now.”

At his answer, Master McPhail smiled at him, and the people around him looked at him affectionately as well. The eagerness of young love always made other people feel fond.

Master McPhail answered: “Then I wish you a wonderful evening.”

Song Xuanhe began to leave, but Xue Mian called out to him as he was walking away. He was surprised, but stopped walking.

Xue Mian caught up to him and gestured to another table to the side: “Why don’t we have a chat?”

“I don’t think that we’re close enough for that involved of a chat,” Song Xuanhe rejected. “But I will thank you for today.”

The invitation that Master McPhail extended towards Song Xuanhe was because of Xue Mian. Song Xuanhe knew that his sense of design was good, and his conversation that afternoon was very genial, but he wasn’t conceited enough to believe that one afternoon of talking was enough to receive special attention from someone like Master McPhail, who must’ve seen countless clever, talented newcomers before him.

Besides, Master McPhail made no mention of him staying for dinner during their discussion, only extending the invitation after Xue Mian whispered something to him.

“Don’t thank me,” Xue Mian said. “Master McPhail already liked you. I only gave him a little suggestion. Besides, I have my own reasons as well.”

Song Xuanhe looked at him, neither asking nor speaking.

The corner of Xue Mian’s lip flattened, and he looked away. “You have deeper feelings for Xiao Yuanmu than I had imagined, but have you ever thought about how long the two of you can go on for?”

“That’s our business,” Song Xuanhe said indifferently.

“Of course,” Xue Mian laughed, a hint of mocking in his tone. “This was never my business. Don’t worry, I’ve already thought it through to my decision.”

“Is your decision that you can’t bother us?” Song Xuanhe looked at the time, then turned and said: “If there’s nothing else, then I’ll be going first.”

Xue Mian called to his back: “Do you know why Xiao Yuanmu left the country?”

Song Xuanhe’s steps paused. “I’ll find out tonight.”

Xue Mian laughed sharply, his eyes bitter and regretful. “I don’t think you will.”

“Why?”

Song Xuanhe turned around suddenly, watching his shadow as he left.

After he returned, the bad feeling Song Xuanhe was having grew heavier on his chest. He habitually turned to look at the clock, eyes tracking the ticking of the hands. The corners of his lips kept flattening, tense.

The time slowly slipped from five to seven, the sky turning from blue to grey. The neon lamps in the city slowly began to brighten, casting the darkening streets back into light.

[Xiao Yuanmu is back.]

The sound of the system in his mind was abrupt, making Song Xuanhe startle out of his blank look. He looked at the clock- it was seven twenty-five.

At the same time as the system, Xiao Huang suddenly raised his head, ears pricking up as he looked towards the door. A second later, his tail began to wag, and he ran towards the door enthusiastically.

The sound of the elevator rang out, and the sound of the elevator door opening preceded the sound of leather against the floor, ringing out in tandem with the sound of Xiao Huang’s paws against the floor.

Song Xuanhe looked up, his eyes meeting Xiao Yuanmu’s across from him.

“I’m home.” Xiao Yuanmu looked down slightly, face slightly pale and laugh soft and slightly warm.

Song Xuanhe stood up and walked over, first sweeping his eyes over his figure, quietly releasing a breath, the heartbeat that was picking up in pace finally slowing again. Smiling, he said: “Have you eaten dinner?”

Xiao Yuanmu looked back. “I bought groceries.”

Yang Jie came in as well, giving Song Xuanhe a greeting before turning to go into the kitchen. He put down the groceries before silently looking at Xian Yuanmu.

“Go.” Xiao Yuanmu glanced at him, speaking mildly.

Yang Jie gaped at him, mouth moving as if he wanted to say something. Ultimately, he didn’t speak, bending to give Xiao Huang a pat before leaving.

There was something streaking through Song Xuanhe’s heart. His lips hooked up as he said: “Did Yang Jie do something wrong? Why is he scuttering in and out without even glancing at me?”

“I’m thinking of having him transfer back to China,” Xiao Yuanmu took off his cufflinks, carefully putting them away. “He doesn’t want to.”

“Why?” Song Xuanhe followed him into the kitchen, Xiao Huang following behind. “His family should still be in China.”

“En,” Xiao Yuanmu paused while rolling up his sleeves, eyes moving to the bags of groceries where Song Xuanhe stood. His eyes were dark as they looked, tugging his sleeves downwards as he spoke calmly. “His mom is living alone in China.”

“But Yang Jie left, who’s taking over for him?” Song Xuanhe asked.

“Right now, it’s temporarily Qiao,” Xiao Yuanmu replied.

The hand that Song Xuanhe was using to put the groceries in the fridge froze for a moment, then he closed the fridge door and turned to meet Xiao Yuanmu’s eyes. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“What kind of thing?”

“When you went back to China this time, was it for the Xiao family?” Song Xuanhe grabbed Xiao Yuanmu’s hand, using it to pull him away from the kitchen towards the study. “Let’s talk for a bit.”

Xiao Yuanmu allowed himself to be pulled miserably, following obediently behind with a downcast gaze. After they entered the study, Song Xuanhe closed the door behind them, letting go of his hand.

“You said before that you wouldn’t lie to me,” Song Xuanhe looked at Xiao Yuanmu. “I believe you.”

The hand that Xiao Yuanmu let fall back to his side clenched and unclenched, He rolled up his sleeve, revealing a sturdy arm.

Song Xuanhe’s eyes fell on that arm, then moved away. “Xiao Yuanmu. Why exactly did you go back to China this time?”

“Some private business.”

“About what?” Song Xuanhe asked. “If it’s private, why didn't you let me know that beforehand?”

Xiao Yuanmu moved forward to hold Song Xuanhe, his chin resting on his shoulder. “I’m very tired.”

Song Xuanhe paused, the words bubbling up his throat swallowed back again as he lifted his hands to curl around Xiao Yuanmu’s waist.

“Once it’s the right time, I’ll tell you everything.” Xiao Yuanmu pressed his face deeper into Song Xuanhe’s shoulder, voice muffled. “Can you...not ask me anything right now?”

After ten or so seconds of silence, Song Xuanhe replied: “Okay.”

Xiao Yuanmu returned to the kitchen to make dinner, hands moving like usual. For once, Song Xuanhe had little appetite.

“How was Master McPhail’s banquet?” Xiao Yuanmu asked, putting down his chopsticks to ask.

“Not bad,” Song Xuanhe got up and went to the living room, bringing back his design manuscripts for Xiao Yuanmu to look at. “These are the drafts that I was busy making for the past few days. The details haven’t been finalized yet, but the basic idea and the measurements should be fine. Master McPhail really liked this outfit.”

Xiao Yuanmu looked at the designs. “When can these be made?”

“Maybe for the fall or winter lines?” Song Xuanhe said, unsure. “Or even later. I’ve already made my fall and winter lines, and these don’t quite match the same mood. It might be a bit hard to integrate these in the lines. By the time it goes into production, it might be quite a bit after.”

“Were these designed for me?” Xiao Yuanmu looked at Song Xuanhe.

Song Yuanhe looked down. “Everything I’ve designed has been for you.”

Xiao Yuanmu looked at him with an adoration that couldn’t be hidden, his lips tilting upwards helplessly. “I want this outfit. There’s nothing like it. Make it for me. Can you make it before next week?”

Song Xuanhe frowned. “It’ll be a bit too warm to wear this outfit in this kind of weather.”

“It’ll get cooler soon.” Xiao Yuanmu looked at Song Xuanhe.

Song Xuanhe gave in. “You’re lucky that I’m not as busy now. I don’t have any materials or machines to make it, though.”

“I can get someone to send things over.”

Xiao Yuanmu kept his word. After getting Song Xuanhe to let him know everything that he would need, he got everything sent over to their apartment within a day’s time.

Not only that, but even with the apartment having empty rooms, Xiao Yuanmu still insisted on clearing out space in the study for Song Xuanhe to work in instead. The study was large enough that after a bit of cleaning, it didn’t feel crowded with the two of them working together at all.

The side of the room facing the shining french windows was originally where Xiao Yuanmu worked, but now it had become Song Xuanhe’s workspace. Xiao Yuanmu instead moved all his work over to one side, so that the two of them could feel comfortable working in tandem.

After the renovation, Xiao Yuanmu didn’t go back to his office. He was still as busy as ever, spending upwards of fifteen hours every day in the study. The only difference now was that whenever he looked up, he could see Song Xuanhe on the other side of the room, drawing and sewing with single-minded focus.

Three days passed in a flash, and Song Xuanhe found himself acclimating to the new normal, sharing a space with Xiao Yuanmu, each working on their own in the same room as the day passes.

One day, however, a sudden stream of people began to flow in and out of the apartment, one after another. Because they had never met before, Song Xuanhe politely greeted them, and Xiao Yuanmu made introductions, occasionally interrupting Song Xuanhe’s work.

After meeting Xiao Yuanmu’s financial advisor, lawyer, and doctor, Song Xuanhe couldn’t resist opening his mouth: “Why are all these people swarming in at once? Did they all agree to descend at the same time?”

“I am taking over the Xiao family,” Xiao Yuanmu’s lip lifted slightly, and he ran his hand over Song Xuanhe’s hair as if to pacify him. “I still had people from the Xiao family who want to leave and talk to me. I haven’t been going into the office, so of course they’ll have to come here.”

“Even your-”

Song Xuanhe was interrupted as Yang Jie knocked on the door. “Xiao-ge, Song-shao, Mr. Zhang is here.”

Ever since Xiao Yuanmu began to work from home, Yang Jie also worked in the apartment with him. Usually he worked from either the living room or another room, but today he acted more like a butler, escorting guests in and out of the house.

“Let him in,” Xiao Yuanmu said, smiling at Song Xuanhe as he spoke.

Zhang Siwei walked in, giving a smile and greeting to Song Xuanhe before saying: “I heard it’s been busy around here.”

“Just cleaning house,” Xiao Yuanmu said indifferently.

“Makes sense,” Zhang Siwei went over to the sofa and sat down, eyes catching on Song Xuanhe’s work area with interest. “Song-shao, are those your new designs? They look pretty good. As a close acquaintance, may I order a set in advance?”

“No.” Xiao Yuanmu rejected him flatly. “These designs were made for me. There’s only one set in the world, and only I can wear them.”

Zhang Siwei raised an eyebrow, noticing the pride behind Xiao Yuanmu’s fathomless eyes. He smiled and said: “I see, something like that can only be given to you. Let’s talk business, then.”

Xiao Yuanmu nodded, walking to sit across from him. The two pulled out their laptops and began to speak quietly. Song Xuanhe turned his gaze back to his work, focusing.

Like this, the days passed. The system inside of Song Xuanhe’s mind counted down. In this period of time, there really were quite a few people that came to visit their apartment. This lasted for three days, before their apartment returned to its usual quiet.

Without Yang Jie knocking on their door periodically, without the sound of soft conversation across the room, Song Xuanhe was surprised to actually feel disquieted for a moment. However, after a bit of time, he fell back into the rhythm of his work.

The outfit that he’s been working on for a week had finally come together. It still needed some final detailing, but after that it would be ready to wear.

Song Xuanhe looked up at Xiao Yuanmu, who was signing a document. Feeling his gaze, Xiao Yuanmu looked up as well, smiling softly at him before looking back and flipping to another document.

“You’ve had to sign a lot of these lately, huh,” Song Xuanhe put down the button in his hand. “Has Louis been slacking off and sending all of his stuff to you?”

“Louis is signing even more documents than I am,” Xiao Yuanhe paused in the middle of writing something before starting again, lightly flipping a page. “It’s been busy lately.”

Song Xuanhe nodded. He knew that it was busy lately. Compared to before he went on the business trip, he was even busier working at home. Xiao Yuanmu didn’t have much time to relax, either. Nowadays, he was barely sleeping five hours a day before going back to work.

Hopefully it’ll slow down soon. Song Xuanhe looked away again, thinking to himself.

Engrossed in his work, it was easy to forget the time. By the time he found himself cutting his final thread, the morning had already passed. He looked at the completed outfit, nodding to himself with satisfaction. He turned towards Xiao Yuanmu: “I’m done with the outfit, do you want to try it on to see how it fits?”

There was no answering voice behind him. Song Xuanhe thought at first that Xiao Yuanmu was too engrossed in his work to answer, and turned to look at him.

Xiao Yuanmu was half-sprawled on the table, looking collapsed with exhaustion.

Song Xuanhe put down the clothes in his hands and walked over to the sofa, grabbing a blanket to lay over Xiao Yuanmu, eyes soft and sad.

Xiao Yuanmu really had been worked to the bone lately. Not only was the already enormous Xiao family expanding their business, but there was also the whole issue with Lady Xiao and Xiao Baicong. It must’ve been a lot of pressure on him.

Song Xuanhe brushed away the longer strands of hair that fell over his face, lightly touching his forehead. It was a little warmer than usual. There was a light wrinkle between his eyebrows. He prepared to try waking him again when he noticed the open document out of the corner of his eye.

Contract of Property Transfer - First Party: Xiao Yuanmu

He pulled the document from his hand. Before he could take a look, the system sounded in his mind: [Xiao Yuanmu is not doing well right now! He’s not asleep, he’s unconscious- you should send him to the hospital immediately.]

“Give him a full-body checkup.” Song Xuanhe immediately put down the document in his hand, placing it on Xiao Yuanmu’s forehead. It felt scalding hot. His hand began to tremble, and his heart began to thud violently with unease. He pulled out his phone with one hand to call Yu Yan, while the other kept gently shaking Xiao Yuanmu while he called his name. Xiao Yuanmu didn’t twitch.

Yu Yan picked up the phone quickly, the phone barely ringing before his voice answered: “Mr. Song? Is something wrong?”

“Xiao Yuanmu is running a fever, and he looks very unwell. Where should I bring him?”

“Wait!” Yu Yan pushed off Zhou Nan’s hand, getting up and going to his landline. Dialing the landline with one hand, he kept speaking to Song Xuanhe. “I’m going to send over some people to get you and Chief Xiao immediately. Are you two in your apartment right now?”

“Yes.”

“Please wait a little longer, they should be there in around ten minutes. In the meantime, try to bring down Chief Xiao’s fever as much as you can, but be careful not to let him catch a chill. Is that alright?”

Song Xuanhe hung up the phone and called Yang Jie.

Yang Jie had a key to Xiao Yuanmu’s apartment. Not two minutes after Song Xuanhe called, he was running into the apartment. When he saw the figure lying on the sofa and recognized Xiao Yuanmu’s face, his face turned pale in an instant.

Song Xuanhe was holding a towel soaked with cold water, and looked up to see the expression on Yang Jie’s face. He couldn’t bring himself to ask about it, instead immediately turning back to Xiao Yuanmu’s condition.

“Song-shao...” Yang Jie asked. “Did you call the hospital? Who did you call? You can’t have called a public ambulance, right?”

“No,” Song Xuanhe said. “I called Yu Yan.”

Yang Jie let out a breath. Looking at Song Xuanhe’s taut face, he opened his mouth a few times, but when he saw Xiao Yuanmu’s unconscious body out of the corner of his eye, he could only close his mouth tightly.

Yu Yan had given them a time bracket of ten minutes, but after seven minutes, the people he called for already arrived. They were very prepared, and the moment Xiao Yuanmu was loaded into the car they were already checking him over.

Song Xuanhe sat beside him, looking with a tense expression as the doctors looked over Xiao Yuanmu. The car slowly pulled out of the quiet streets into the city.

“Where are we going?” Song Xuanhe looked away from Xiao Yuanmu towards Yu Yan to ask. “I don’t remember any hospitals in this direction, and the Xiao family private hospital isn’t in this direction either.”

In the face of Song Xuanhe’s interrogation, Yu Yan remained calm. “The Xiao family can’t find out about Chief Xiao’s current condition. Right now we’re going towards a hospital that Chief Xiao personally invested in- to be more accurate, it should be called a long-term care clinic, Xiao-ge’s private clinic. Still, the facility is up-to-date, and the equipment is better maintained than many private hospitals. You don’t need to worry.”

Song Xuanhe didn’t actually suspect Yu Yan of anything. Even if he didn’t trust Yu Yan himself, the fact that Yang Jie didn’t say anything about this meant that it was something that he had known about. It was just that he had never heard Xiao Yuanmu mention investing in any long-term care clinics, let alone building any private hospitals in said clinic.

Thinking about this, Song Xuanhe felt his heart grow heavier, and his expression became clouded. He hoped that the right time that Xiao Yuanmu had promised him to tell him about everything would be, in fact, the right time.

The car was very quick and efficient. Not thirty minutes had passed before they were driving into a place that was remote, but really looked to have the facilities that even top-notch private hospitals couldn’t compare to.

Song Xuanhe didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, quickly following Yu Yan into a private building. The doctors pushed Xiao Yuanmu into a private room to look him over. Yu Yan stayed at the door, and Song Xuanhe and Yang Jie waited together.

Finally, Song Xuanhe was able to exhale a little. He turned to Yang Jie: “Is Xiao Yuanmu hiding something from me? Or rather, are you and Xiao Yuanmu working together to hide something from me?”

Yang Jie pursed his lips, not looking into Song Xuanhe’s eyes. “Xiao-ge...he said that he would tell you.”

“When you left the country before, what exactly was that for?” The smell of disinfectant in the air made Song Xuanhe feel more tense. His expression became colder, and his voice also lowered as he said: “Tell me.”

Yang Jie avoided his gaze, pressing his mouth even more tightly together before saying: “I can’t tell you, Song-shao. Wait until Xiao-ge wakes up, and he’ll tell you himself.”

Seeing his evasiveness, Song Xuanhe had to take a deep breath to press down his temper. He asked the system: [What condition is Xiao Yuanmu’s body in?]

[It’s complicated,] The system said. [I need some more time to get a more accurate result.]

Song Xuanhe furrowed his brows. [Shouldn’t your technology be more advanced than the technology of this time? Why do you need so long just to check his body?]

[When you finished your mission, many of my functions became limited,] the system said. [My physical scanning system is also not as advanced as before, sorry.]

Hearing the system’s apology, Song Xuanhe felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him, forcing him to calm.

[You don’t have to apologize,] Song Xuanhe rubbed his temple, walking to a sofa against the wall and sitting down. Putting his head in his hands, he said: [I was scared and lost my cool. I should be the one apologizing to you. Sorry.]

[You don’t need to apologize,] the system said. [I’m...just a system. You don’t have to apologize to a system.]

Song Xuanhe managed to lift his lips slightly with difficulty. [Why so heartless? You’ve already called me brother so many times. No matter what, aren’t we friends now?]

[Friends?] The system said hesitantly.

[What? Do your regulations not allow you to make friends?] Song Xuanhe asked.

[Of course not.] The system responded quickly, then fell silent. After a few seconds, it spoke again: [I’ll be sure to properly check over Xiao Yuanmu’s condition. He’ll be fine, don’t worry.]

Song Xuanhe managed to drag up the corner of his lip before it fell again. He made a soft sound of acknowledgement.

Actually, when he snapped at Yang Jie earlier, he was just venting.

From the time that Xiao Yuanmu started to become more taciturn- when he started to work overtime more and more- him flying back without a clear reason- the complicated look Xue Mian had given him- the words that Yang Jie had bitten back after they returned overseas- Xiao Yuanmu getting visits from his financial advisor, his lawyer, his doctor- Xiao Yuanmu collapsing- the property transfer documents on the table-

The truth had always been right in front of him, on clear display. It was just that Song Xuanhe had never been brave enough to touch it.

After a while, a doctor left the emergency room. He addressed Song Xuanhe: “Mr. Xiao’s condition isn’t good right now, but the details are still unclear. We need more time to inspect him to know more.”

Song Xuanhe wasn’t surprised. If the system needed more time, then the doctors could only take longer. “How much time?”

“About three hours,” the doctor said conservatively.

Song Xuanhe nodded, returning to the sofa with a downcast gaze, not speaking.

An indeterminable amount of time passed, and the system slowly spoke, voice complicated: [Xiao Yuanmu is...]

Just then, Yang Jie ran into the room and said to Song Xuanhe: “Xiao-ge is awake!”

Song Xuanhe stood up suddenly, turning and running to the private room. At the door, he suddenly came to a stop, then took two steps back. Behind these doors are the answers that he had been looking for. But now, he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to know.

“Song-shao?” Yu Yan came up to him. “Chief Xiao is awake. Aren’t you going in?”

Song Xuanhe hesitated, pulling the door as he spoke. “I’m going to go in soon.”

Yu Yan nodded and left. Song Xuanhe took a step into the sickroom. On the bed was a person who, apart from being paler than usual, didn’t look much different. Their eyes met.

The hand that Song Xuanhe was using to grip the door tightened. As he was preparing to walk in, he stopped to look at Xiao Yuanmu quietly.

Xiao Yuanmu blinked at him and said: “Are you mad?”

Without waiting for an answer, he looked at him with clear, dark eyes and continued: “I bought congee for you to eat, so don’t be mad at me, okay?”

#i'll post the other chs soon!#again this is not edited bc it was written out so i didn't have to try to read the chinese one character at a time #but i thought that maybe?? someone else will want this to at least know what the ending is #Transmigrating into the Reborn Male Lead’s Ex-Boyfriend #RMLE #RMLE chapter 153 #also TN here i guess but i cannot believe the author wanted to stuff this juicy of a plotline this late into the game #TERMINAL ILLNESS STORYLINE IN LAST THREE CHAPTERS??? when i say i HOLLERED

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stonebutchwritings · 8 months

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hi wdym but the history of pan? i tried to research but couldn’t find much!! i’m not pan or anything, just curious😁

Yeah it's kind of hard because a lot of lgbtq history is buried underneath a bunch of "accept accept accept" any label or description regardless of hurt to other groups-- see: those wearing stuff like "hearts, not parts" even though that defends transphobic ideas about sexuality.

cw child sexual abuse, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, d slur

So pansexual was first described in abnormal psychology (yikes) to describe pan-sexualism, a method of psychology very similar to psychoanalytic theory where you see sex as a primary force driving all of mankind's decisions, consciously or subconsciously. Freud, unsurprisingly, coined this, and was also taking a lot of cocaine at the time. He also was reportedly being given money to victim-blame abuse victims being studied by him in order to not incriminate their abusers-- largely, family members, but that's another story.

Around the 80s, pansexual became a kink term, to mostly denote that people were okay with a lots of sexual things. If you claimed to be pansexual, you would be communicating that you were willing to partake in a lot of kinky stuff. Some people would also use this word to denote sexual promiscuity/deviancy, or people who could be attracted to "inanimate objects, animals, etc." Kinda fucked up.

In 1994 was the first description I can see of someone suggesting pansexual (or something similar, "pansensual") in its current usage, with Greta Gaard documenting that sociologist Paula C. Rust rejects the word “bisexual” due to its centering on “the biological sex characteristics of potential romantic partners.” The rest is a cut from An Injustice Mag:

Rust said we should “banish the concept of partner sex from our vocabulary,” suggesting the term “pansensual” to describe sexuality outside of a “merely genital” framework. Gaard wants us to see “pansensuality” as not only distinct from bisexuality but more expansive.

So, obviously this definition arises out of biphobic sentiment which directly contradicts the Bisexual Manifesto, third-genders trans people, and disallows for the expansive nature of bisexuality that predecessors had fought so ardently for. However, let's look further for more definitions.

Mykel Board’s “Pimple No More” argues that identity politics limits progress. She suggests we eliminate sexual identities but also theorizes that “everyone is bisexual.” She proposes the word “pansexual” to describe her theory.

Here, pansexuality is a theory used to devalue and disregard the sexualities of lesbian and gay people, and isn't used as a sexual orientation even. Also note that throughout this time, pansexual is still in modern usage as someone who engages in lots of different types of kinks, and sees sex/love in everything.

Tristan Taormina (who apparently believes being a dyke is a political stance and not about being a lesbian) in 2001 states:

I don’t identify as bisexual for a few reasons… I firmly believe there are not two genders. So identifying as bisexual is counterproductive to my gender politics. So when people ask me, “Are you bisexual? gay?” I’m like, “I’m equal opportunity. I sleep with people of all genders.”… I identify with pansexual.

This comes from a deliberate misunderstanding of the bisexual manifesto, Anything That Moves, which states clearly:

"Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have 'two' sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders."

"Pansexual" exploded onto the public scene with the livejournal community created for it, "I Am Pansexual," and with it, biphobic, transphobic, and frankly racist ideas of gender came along with it. Here is what the community's founder had to say about pansexual identity:

"Anyway, this community is for pansexuals, as described in the userinfo. Pansexuals love people of all genders, male and female, but unlike bisexuals, pansexuals love transgendered, androgynous and gender fluid people, people who don't fit into the categories of male or female. People such as J-Rockers, like the two men on the community icon."

Not only does pansexual in its inception as a community label describe transgender people as excluded from every other group (bi, lesbian, gay, etc.) but also describes aforementioned biphobic myths of attraction specifically and references men of Japanese descent who do not fit into colonial ideas of masculinity as being "not male or female," despite the clearly defined identity of the rockers themselves admitted by the poster.

It would be easy to say that pansexual evolved to become better and maybe that's fine now, but it's only become more and more regressive as a title. One of the most common phrases associated with pansexuality is "hearts, not parts"— an idea that gendered preferences in lesbians and gay men denote to genital preferences, both erasing transgender people and reducing gay people to sex-hungry people who only care about what's in your pants.

In addition, the pan pride flag clearly copies the bisexual flag with every meaning, except for where it adds intersexism— in almost every source I've been able to find, the yellow stripe has been describing both nonbinary people, people who don’t fit into a male/female binary, AND intersex people, as if genitals and the way they express themselves are, again, some kind of thing no one else but somehow who loves EVERYONE could love. It's bioessentialist in nature.

If you know someone irl who uses the term pan cause they heard of it online and it just sounded better to them or whatever and they know it isn't something that has an actual difference from bi, that's fine. You can let them know how the label has been harmful to numerous groups both past and present, but it's not the most important thing in the world to correct— I get that. Many people who use pansexual know not a lot about LGBT history or intracommunity struggles because not all LGBT people are activists and historians and deeply connected that way. A lot of us are just people using labels because we are dating/having sex or figuring out our gender! It doesn't come with knowing how to say things or what's happened in the past, especially under a cisheteropatriarchy that doesn't encourage knowledge of labels outside of heterosexual and cis. However, it doesn't mean this isn't a problem that need to be addressed— although I care much more about violence and hate crimes, smaller ideological language that reinforces oppression is still an issue I can focus on in my spare time.

Bisexual people and trans people and everyone else affected by the ideology used above have real experiences that have been caused by it. Trans people being told they’re attractive because the person is pansexual and will like "whatever they have down there". Bisexual people being seen as regressive by people who know nothing about their history. Bisexual people being told to just identify as pansexual because it's more radical. Trans people watching as people gleefully call themselves trans allies while calling themselves a term that rests on the laurels of transphobic bioessentialist ideology. It reinforces cishetero oppression to subject your fellow community members to transphobia and biphobia.

I don't think pansexual is going to be a term that leaves the zeitgeist anytime soon because not a lot of people care that the origins were steeped in oppressive ideologies. A lot of people are not historically informed. But if you are, it's really upsetting to think that you care nothing about the implications and harm caused by the language you use. Even if you interchangeably use the term bisexual, even if you’re trans (although your harm is a different and arguably smaller harm), you are still reinforcing those ideas by using a term which professes it as it's main qualities to this day, albeit not as frequently as in the past (which I still want to mention is only 20 years ago).

I hope no one thinks I'm policing your identity because I could care less about who you are having sex with or dating. The language you use to describe your identity, however, can be incredibly harmful. That's something everyone needs to deal with. And it's not the same as reclamation— these are things that were invented by community members isolating other community members with systems of oppression and does not refer to an innate identity being attacked by cisheteropatriarchy.

Anyways, I hope this answer helped. Thanks for the anon! I'll probably add some bisexual and trans reading links later on, but for now, here you go <3

here's a source on the history of the word pansexual that is actually from someone positive on the label as far as i can tell, although it is absolutely filled with transphobia, biphobia, and lesbiphobia. i would click on each source as some are just from other articles that are unsourced.

here's a source that i used by a bisexual person talking about the history of the term

#mine #ask #anon #cw d slur #cw child abuse #cw homophobia #cw transphobia #cw biphobia

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chaitygers · 3 months

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Ivan infodump

OK SO i posted my little guy Ivan (big deer guy) and as i mentioned in his post, hes a mix of different characters i've like found interesting and that had interesting concepts that i wanted to explore in a character so yeah I decided to make ivan!

Ivan's like part of this universe im a part of w some buddies and he's like a werecreature (i cant rlly go super in depth w the lore here because i dont rlly know it that well LHDFCBDVLKHB) he was turned into one like after some stuff happened in his life that left him broke so he needed money to like get back on his feet and doing that (essentially making himself a test subject for this thing some scientists were doing) was the only way he could. Heres where the first theme i wanted to explore comes in, Guilt and Debt.

If anyone's read crime and punishment, the main character Raskolnikov essentially k1lls his crusty musty landlady so he doesnt have to owe her his rent anymore which imo, slay, but at the same time he is riddled with this immense guilt and like questioning himself as to wether or not committing a crime and a deadly sin (because hes also catholic so another LAYER of guilt added)

Raskolikov gets sent to prision to like seve his sentence but most of the book is like him debating with himself wether or not what he did was right, because he mrd3red someone that was a pest both to him and everyone else who owed rent to her, and she was a busive and mean so like thats someon no one would miss because she was bad so he's good for killing her, it was for the greater good, but at the same time in the eyes of the law Raskolnikov is a criminal, as well as in the eyes of religion because he murdered someone and thats an unforgivable act and hes supposed to go to hell for that.

In Ivan's case, his guilt lies in the fact that he was essentially the reason him a nd his family's business went into banktrupcy, if he was never born he woudln't have caused much trouble to his parents. He's the son of a violin maker, meaning business is not as big as theyd wish it to be especially as violins are expensive as shit because theyre handmade works of art that only few know the trade of making them and stuff. Ivan obviously inherited the knowledge from his father, helped him in the shop and helped to provide for his own family even as a child, but he still carries that guilt of being the reason niether one of his parents could fulfill any of the desires they had due to him being just "a burden" in his tiny little head.

In the debt aspect, he is quite literally indebted, left with the previous unpaid bills and unfinished projects his father left after he passed, and left with a bunch of customersn his father still owed things to like money, instruments and materials. To Ivan, thats the way he's repaying the hardships he made his parents go through. the family burdens are passed down generation by generation as well, because many of most of the monetary debts came from people of the past that made those bad desicions and left their descendants to deal with them. Ivan is determined to fulfill these depts, at all costs, and eventually that costs him his humanity.

NOW ONTO HANNIBAL!

I mostly wanted to do the c@nn1balsm as a metaphor for all consuming, obsessive love with Ivan , especially the love for his craft (because in the end he loves what he's doing, hes a passionate violin maker) but literally in the way that he loves as well. He isnt that bad looking, at least according to him (in my head his face claim is jacob elordi specifically in saltburn and like post euphoria and the kissing booth) but he does feel like he's hard to love because of all the guilt hes carrying for shit he didnt even do (like be incredibly indebted to the state). hes super inexperienced in love, has only had one long lasting relationship, and that relationship is one that consumed him so much that he couldnt see himself living apart from that person he loved after they broke up. Ivan has an anxious attachment style, always has and hes like a kitten with separation anxiety, he will wail and scream until he gets back to that person he feels safe with even if it means that he's actively pushing them away because of how clingy he is.

all that to say that he ate his ex boyfriend because if he couldnt be with ivan then no one could have him

So yeah that is like almost all of Ivan's story! i love him dearly and rlly want to expand more on him in the future!

#art #original character #oc #artist on tumblr #character #my characters #character concept #hannibal #crime and punishment #analysis #infodump #oc story #oc stuff #original characters

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fablestarlet · 11 months

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Very important, DO comment on what i should do!

So you all know me as the Naegiri artist and stuff, but i’m also more than just the “naegiri artist” because i draw other character than Naegi and Kyoko. i havn’t been pn Tumblr much and when i am its mostly because i’m trying to look up fan art. from my teenage years i have been evolving from hyperactivating in different fandom and brainrot. Pokemon -> Ninjago -> Danganronpa -> Genshin -> and now Honaki Star rail, like every years i get into a fandom, than see a certai media that i wil brainrot for less than a month, and much later i get into another big fandom for the nect year and the pipeline continues.

This does not go to stay that i’ll stop loving Naegiri, its been a big comfort ship with many dynamics that i personally love and want to take advice from when writing about romance in my own characters, but after years i’ve been jumping and diving into different fandoms and different brainrots of characters, ships, and lore wise included. i have different art with naegiri and i do want to post them but when i look at my accounts, its just strictly naegiri and putting something other than naegiri, or Danagnronpa, would feel a bit akward (No not saying that my account is bad but says that if i were to post something from another media it would feel a bit akward with those who arn’t aware or those who see and follow will see the account that i have become.)

i don’t wants to make strict changes to this account but at the same time i want to show other stuff than just DR, i really do hate being in a cycle like that but i have to remind myself to not let a bunch of internet karen tell and control how i want my account to be. i care for each and everyone one of my respecting and understanding followers, which is why i get worried if i have show or tell that i’m changing quite a lot.

so i came up with this. i can either make a whole new account that isn’t just Danganronpa but other media, or i could stay in this account and make lots of changes to my account, yes i’m still going to post Naegiri art but i also want to share other arts and characters that i did and i don’t want to be afraid of share them and being judged. as much as i do like my account being centered around Naegiri, i also hate to admit the fact that this can’t last forever, even if i enter into my adulthood and leave the nest.

So what will will be, Two new accounts or one account change?

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confluence-and-drift · 8 months

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And no Exalted tonight either. Last week was the first back from a big hiatus so that's a shame, though it was fun to launch right back into blunt intercessions into divine politics and it turns out well, with the PCs having netted themselves a well placed ally, who just happens to be the God of Human Habitations in (the area where the PCs spend most of their time) and that means whilst he might be skirting the law (yup, it's a Celestial Bureacracy after all) , all given a wee bit more ooph by the players essentially having dirt on the guy. It's the stuff about Exalted that I love, a session which was just one big complicated conversation, though mechanics-wise, he was being social-combat-ed into submission. And they didn't even have to employ any magical mind control (mostly because there was no guarantee it'd work and they couldn't risk that). Still, it's fun. Ah well. I do also have D&D tomorrow, assuming everyone can make it. On that point, some point later today, baldur's gate 3 will finish downloading and then I can give my computer a proper workout enjoy what is supposed to be an amazing game. And considering it came from the Divinity Original Sin folk, I can be assured it is. That and the acclaim its been getting in general >.>.

Uuugh, though atm, I've been trying to work on my erratic moods. I know that after seeing my family the other day it leaves me a bit...unstable and with further incidents springing up where my brother offloaded a bunch of stuff at me and then refused to take my advice which...*sigh*. I guess I don't blame him, it must look very different where he is. Boils down to our parents again and how he, apparantly, is still not wanting to defy them because he actually cares what they think of him and....I had to reluctantly concede that I did not in fact know how that feels. I don't think I've genuinely felt the desire for my parents' approval in the classical sense since I was a child, so how would I know what my brother, a 30 year old, actually feels when he doesn't want to disappoint them. I...just don't get it. I genuinely struggle to imagine actually wanting their approval. Like, sure, I can imagine it with other people, or like fictional characters, it's not like the concept itself is alien to me or anything, but with me specifically? Na. And times like now, I realise that that's kind of odd. I mean, I just see it as logic. They're both emotionally unstable in specific ways and hence cannot be trusted as a source of esteem and validation, full stop. That's just how it is, and how it's always been, despite their best intentions, despite everything else. I don't even blame them for it anymore, its just how they were raised. But my brother apparantly thinks it's genuinely emotionally distressing to disappoint them whilst I'm sitting here thinking "But they'll be disappointed in you anyway for no reason, what's the difference?" Ugh. Maybe I am at fault here. I feel all wound up tight, like a spring pressed taught. I know I should talk to someone and process these emotions but I can't....that's just where I find myself in life right now. In any case, I hope you're all doing well. Or at the very least better than me -_-;

#personal

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undead-dreams-of-overmorrow · 1 year

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games i played update for pretty much the entire week

i've got a bunch of screenshots piled up that i was too tired to post wen they were fresh

might not add a description to all

[major spoilers for chicory and minor spoilers for hollow knight and hades under cut]

(i reached photo limit so ill add reblogs this post for the rest)

(also ill have more minimal image descriptions than i would typically write them due to the sheer amount of pictures)

Ok ill start with chicory i suppose

But im not joking. if you think there's the slightest chance you'll play chicory or if you're already playing chicory and havent completed the main quest already, DO IT. Dont spoil the experience for yourself. I have screenshots from some boss battles and some other main quest stuff here. Please, for your own sake, dont continue if you plan on playing chicory.

^ Fuck I... ngl i really felt Chicory all throughout the game. the exorbitant expectations that shes putting herself to because of her master.. the astronomical amounts of self-doubt that came with it.. the massive impostor syndrome.. And now that i mentioned impostor syndrome i might aswell mention the amount of relatability i felt with the playable character (In my savefile she's named Cupcake). The enthusiasm that changes for self-doubt the moment responsibility shows up. The inner voices that keep telling her that she doesnt deserve the brush. that she got it by sheer luck. that she's a terrible artist and that everyone is just lying to her.. i felt all of that

^ These things actually.. well they got to me a lot more than i previously expected. especially the fanart one. i had completely forgotten that that was the first thing i drew there despite the fact that Clementine put it in our parent's house but.. i realyl did not expect that. It was so incredibly sweet

^ I'm so happy for you, Thyme <22222

^ there's a metaphor to be discussed there but im not up for that right now

^ i love your enthusiasm dad (yes i did use the telephone cabin a couple of times. if you have anything against that im not gonna listen to your inflated "gamer" ego. let people have fun. for some of them that means using tips or playing with assist mode or god mode)

^ Fuck this hurt. this hurt oh my

^ this is the drawing that i made to be the portrait in the wielder tower. my mistake with essentially everything i drew in this game was that i treated it as a normal drawing instead of pixel art)

^ KITTIES (i still need to save like 5 more i think)

^ this genuinely made me tear up a little

^ and completion percent (i want to eventually fill in the entire map but for now im taking a break from chicory)

Okay onto Hollow Knight now

have in mind that those are screenshots taken in different days. several times i took screenshots in the inventory to show progress at the time

also have in mind that this was me getting all my progression back to and eventually further than the 102% that i had before i lost my saves

^ Maybe Sly wasnt corrupted by the Radiance, but capitalism still mostly got him

^ progress on january 7th

^ there i think i wanted to show that i managed to get here without wings (for those who dont know/remember, that means 2 or 3 enemy pogos)

^ this is my favourite sofftware bug in the entire game (now that i think about it im not sure whether it's still in the game or patched and reintroduced by the QoL mod)

^ ok it doesnt really matter but i love how broken cdash crystal generation is whenever youre not on a stable flat floor/wall

^ you fucking what you greedy bitch. also yeah i beat the shit out of her and then made her come with me to listen to Marissa

#my gamefiles #my savefiles #chicory a colorful tale #hollow knight #image description in alt text

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giffingthingsss · 2 years

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Me and the Treks

TOS

I’ve watched maybe a dozen episodes. Had never seen a single episode before last year.

I cannot even begin to articulate the experience of watching William Shatner repeatedly slap himself in the face. Or watching aliens make him be ridden by a little person like a horsey. Or watching aliens make him kiss a lady (historic! I actually had to google that that was in fact the historic kiss and it was and I died laughing.) Or watching aliens escalate it to a hot poker and a whip before thank heavens they were interrupted. I cannot articulate. I have no words.

But there were moments underneath the hilarious fact that they actually made actors do things like that and the make up and costuming (I mean there was one that was a boot on a guy’s head. I swear.) where the heart of a Star Trek I could kind of recognize beat. And I began to realize that if I could turn off the visual, the tone would resemble the old sci fi radio shows I love, and that really made me warm up to it. So I like TOS. I have it, I just haven’t finished it yet.

TNG

My parents watched this when I was a tiny kid. I had a very dim recollection. It apparently wasn’t a big deal to them because they did not remember. When I got older, something sparked a memory and I began asking if there was a show with a guy who had a thing over his eyes (that’s mainly what I remembered). Everyone just looked at me like I had two heads. But later I discovered that I had not dreamed it and borrowed the first season vhs tapes from a guy. But my interest petered out after that first season. I was basically there for Tasha Yar. I’ve seen a handful of the movies, but other than that I haven’t gone back.

DS9

It’s the weirdest thing. When I got into Voyager, I decided that that must mean I was into all Trek, so I watched whatever reruns were on, and the only other show I could get at the time was DS9. I watched a bunch of episodes. I know the characters. I know what they were like. I cannot remember a single episode or plot point. Wait. I lied. I remember talk about the prophets. So if that’s a plot point, I remember one plot point.

I have tried a couple times to watch it again and I just... It just doesn’t do much for me. This is not a commentary on the show, I know a lot of people think it’s the best one, this is just my brain. Things either grab you or they don’t. It’s fine, I don’t need any more obsessions in my life.

ENT

I was super excited when this first came out because I came to Voyager in its last season through reruns. So Enterprise would be the first Star Trek show I could watch in real time. Unfortunately, I watched about five episodes and peaced out. I guess it was just too different. The style, even the color scheme.

Fast forward twenty years or so, and every Trek has an ‘updated’ look. I might be a bit of a snob, but I saw the trailer for the 2009 movie, saw a lens flare, and was like, nope (okay so definitely a snob). And the new shows seemed to have that same updated look. It’s just distracting to me.

Enterprise was going off Netflix in a month and I decided to watch it because it would probably the only time I ever would. And I don’t know if it was the contrast with the new stuff or what, but suddenly, I was like ‘this is trek!’ Suddenly I had four seasons of nostalgia to watch for the first time.

I still don’t find many of the characters compelling, but the style, the episodic nature, and the production design (which I now suddenly liked) were enough. And there were enough characters to keep me interested. T’Pol and... well, mostly T’Pol. Phlox grew on me. Shran. I would buy an Exo-6 Shran.

I do think the time thing in the beginning was a bit much. A temporal cold war is a fascinating idea, but there was enough going on just introducing the audience to this world. The temporal stuff was more of a distraction to me. Maybe they could have introduced it later to spice something up, Enterprise’s version of Seven of Nine, because I do like the idea.

It’s conventional knowledge that all Treks get better in their second half (with Voyager that case is overstated), Enterprise just had the misfortune to be cancelled before it could hit that second half. Season four was tying together things from the first three seasons and laying the groundwork for some really cool final three. It’s a shame they didn’t get to do it. I began to really get into the worldbuilding.

VOY

Goes without saying. Obsessed. Watched it through reruns. Eventually got caught up in another obsession and let Voyager lie for around twenty years. Started it again (with a little trepidation) a couple years ago and found it held up. Reawakened obsession. And here I am.

DISC and PICARD

Had planned on watching Picard for Seven, but ended up not. I won’t judge what I haven’t seen (and even people who have seen them and don’t like them need to just grow up and ignore and let other people like things), but I will say the promos for them don’t make them look like something that would be in my zone. I am a snob, this has been established.

SNW

This one did have promising promos, I just haven’t bothered. Maybe someday.

LOWER DECKS

The first promo really turned me off, but I didn’t realize then what it was. I’ve seen a couple clips since and I would probably like it if I watched it. Another maybe someday. Maybe in twenty years, like Enterprise.

PRODIGY

Was initially afraid to try it, honestly. I’m cautious about the prospect of ‘ruining’ my faves. But hoped it would be successful regardless. Got Paramount Plus for a month to watch Evil, and decided to give it a go. I now wish I could get everyone to try it. I cross my fingers that it stays good. I’m very interested to see where it’s going. As of now, I accept it as a canon successor to Voyager. And that’s big for me. I’m picky. So good job.

SUMMARY

It’s Voyager by a mile, with Enterprise and TOS in the distance. Prodigy is riding in Voyager’s wake, I just hope it stays there.

Apparently I very much like the one ship by itself motif. That seems to be the common denominator.

#my experience #completely subjective #a diary entry basically #sure to piss at least someone off #skip

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taiblogcomics · 2 years

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Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Hey there, artificial flavours and colours. Well, we finished up Forever Evil last week, and that was pretty good, all things considered. As such, I don't want to get right back into something that makes me mad. We need a longer break from the truly awful dreck, you know? And trust me, when we get back to the truly awful stuff, I do mean it will be truly awful. In the meantime, though, let's instead dig into the vast array I have and find something to just... occupy our time. And I have just the sort of weird oddity for you for the next (flips through issues) eight weeks~

Here's the first cover:

Before we actually dissect this cover, let's run a background, shall we? This thing has two origins. First of all, it's a revival of a concept from 1975. It never actually went anywhere. They had one appearance, in the second issue of 1st Issue Special, which I have not read. (And as an aside, what the heck kind of title is that?) All their appearances since have been in things like Animal Man and Ambush Bug. You know, satirical takes that pick out some obscure old concept because their writers love to mine continuity for minutae.

So the second half of "why does this exist" revolves around the Occupy Wall Street movement. No, really. Right around that time, DC decided to publish two new comics to represent both viewpoints. I have no idea why. I'd guess just to hope to cash in on popular political trends? The thought process of comic executives baffles and eludes me. I ended up following them both, not because I'm particularly political, but mostly because they sounded absurd.

On the Occupy side was a series called The Movement, which was written by Gail Simone and I actually kind of enjoyed it. It also lasted a full four issues longer than Green Team, so if there was supposed to be a "winner" in the debate of publishing them both, there you go. And for the 1% side, that's this series! Once more, I haven't read these since they came out, and I remember not a lick of it. Might not even be worth reviewing all 8 issues. I guess we'll find out together~

Oh, we have to actually look at the cover, too. Like, if you didn't know about the above facts, would you pick this up? I mean, you might, it's at least something different from standard superhero fare. But then there's a few things that kinda make it iffy, particularly words like "teen trillionaires" (updated from mere millionaires in the '70s) and "More money, more problems!". Extremely unrelatable for your comic-reading audience. But I guess that's what representing the 1% is for you. Otherwise, the vibe they're going for really hits the concept: a bunch of material excess and excitement.

So, let's actually get into this comic. We open in New York City, which is actually a rarely-visited locale in the DC universe. In Marvel, it's overpopulated, but in DC, every hero has their own city to hang out in. So you can plop in your teen trillionaires for fun without interrupting anyone else's continuity. So we're introduced to Prince Mohammed Qahtanii. Everyone else calls him Mo, so I see no reason not to do so myself. He and a bodyguard pull into a rundown-looking warehouse. This doesn't seem like the typical place he'd hang out, but it turns out there's a con going on here.

It's not your typical con (in more ways than one). It's called "Poxpo"--a pop-up expo. It's basically a flashmob, but for a venue. They send out a bunch of invites a couple days ahead of time, and then you show up with a presentation. This is a profoundly stupid idea, so of course it's something the rich would come up with. Mo is quickly picked up by a girl close to his age, since he kind of stands out otherwise. He's also been observing the #greenteam hashtag, and so she introduces Mo to the actual Green Team.

Flip back to the cover. Mo is the dark-skinned kid in the purple suit. The blond guy driving the car is the leader of the Green Team, Commodore Murphy (and yes, they do call him "64" as a nickname). Cowboy Hat Guy is J.P. Houston, inheritor of a Texas oil farm (and the girl who led Mo here is his sister, L.L. Initials like that, she better hope she doesn't grow up to be a Superman love interest). Rounding out the lot is a movie star actress, the lass with the orange cat. Her name is Cecilia Sunbeam, which I'm so sure is her real birth name. That's our overprivileged rich kids! I'm sure they won't be insufferable~

Commodore invites Mo to hang out a while, then proposes the lot of them go observe some mad science. He's way into it, which is why he hosts these Poxpos every now and then. He'd definitely be an Elon Musk fanboy nowadays. (Was Musk a thing in 2013?) LL describes him as being "crunk" for them, which she says means "crazy and drunk". I... don't think that's what that means. Also, his nickname of "64" is an inside joke, and not about old video game computers. It's actually the amount (in trillions) he'll inherit as a trust fund. For comparison, the US federal budget is just shy of 5 trillion. This is what we call "stupid rich".

So, what about these science projects? One is a surgical laser that's controllable by Bluetooth connection. Yes, I'm sure that has a lot of applications. Another is a car that's powered by internet traffic. Traffic... that makes a car go. Huh. Commodore puts in interest for both of these, which causes JP to get into a whispered argument about some metal discs, which are from some other sketchy-looking project he warned Commodore not to buy earlier. Commodore defends himself, saying one always has to keep up with the latest tech, but JP knows it's just for some superhero scheme Comm's been cooking up.

Commodore be's evasive, taking up instead Cecilia's suggestion for lunch. And of course, being stupid rich, they offer suggestions for countries to get food from rather than restaurants. LL invites Mo along, and Mo can't help but ask Commodore why he didn't buy out his father's company. In fact, he's weirdly insistant on it. Commodore figures out Mo isn't here on his dad's terms, and starts a spiel about how they have to set their own futures. But they're interrupted when JP discovers Mo has been posting photos of the event. A photo faux pas, if you will.

Unfortunately, Mo's posted the photos with the #greenteam hashtag, and he's left his GPS on. And being the DC universe, it's not ordinary weirdos that they attract. Instead, a goony fellow in white rags and bondage gear calling himself Riot shows up. Commodore recognises him, saying he's been following him for months. Riot punches Commodore, then launches into a speech about how he hates rich people who already have everything and yet continue to treat the common folk as playthings. Are we sure this guy's supposed to be the villain~?

Mo's bodyguard comes in and tries to smack Riot around, but Riot turns it back around on him, to his shock. Commodore gets out the discs he bought, slapping one onto his chest. This causes some sort of high-tech armour to grow out of the disc and give him a green spacesuit. Mo jumps in and uses the surgical laser to irritate Riot while Commodore learns to operate his suit's rocket boots. Once he gets the hang of it, he tackles Riot. But Riot isn't called that for no reason. As the comic ends, we see that while he's been grappling with Comm, more than a dozen other Riots have appeared in the building, and are grappling Comm's other friends.

Well, this sure is gonna be a series. I’m not gonna get political while reviewing this, but the wealth disparity was already pretty bad in 2013, and has only gotten worse. So in all honesty, the characters in this are pretty unrelatable. Like, even for superhero fare. I mean, Batman and Iron Man are both super-rich guys, and I don’t have any problems with them. Maybe it’s because the “being rich” part isn’t their main defining characteristic (especially Batman, who really feels more like being rich is more a handwave for how he gets all his tech). Maybe it’s because they’re teens, so they come across different?

But aside from all that, I think this is just going to be some silly fun. I mean, they introduce a car powered by internet traffic, which does not even begin to make sense even in comic books. So let’s hope there’s much more of that part of the story, and not the parts where we’re agreeing with Riot, who is the story’s villain~

#comics #reviews #Green Team #The Green Team: Teen Trillionaires #Taiblog

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ewaudreyhorne · 2 years

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(this is a repost, due to a few messages i’ve had requesting this list be all in one post on tumblr and not split, so here you go - here’s a link to the wordpress and the original tumblr posts)

So, I’ve been thinking a while about Ted x Rebecca. Duh. However, to be specific, I’ve been thinking more about the likelihood that they’re endgame (is that a term we even use anymore? am I showing my age?). I’ve been in many fandoms, years of different ships have sailed by… I’ve done this game so many times - I’ve been properly burnt, many gays have been buried, many women have ‘ended up alone’ because they’re ‘strong and independent’ and romance and a healthy loving relationship would ‘ruin that’ (am willing to give the many examples if you want).

I wanted to be pragmatic – because when I watched this show, I binged season 1 and 2 and I didn’t jump into any fandom nonsense until after and when I was watching – it seemed so obvious that they were going down the route of Ted x Rebecca that… I was properly shocked to see there’s quite a divide in the fandom (a lovely toxic split). I just didn’t…expect it? So, yeah, I wanted to create a combination of information that looks at… I guess almost everything? (I am, because of the person I am, going to focus on the fact that the intention is there – because I genuinely believe it is – whether the follow-through will happen…)

Anyway, welcome to:

Will Ted and Rebecca be endgame? (the listicle from Hell)

0. proof

I can’t take credit for this at all but just as I was putting parts 1 and 2 together into a post, I came across this post and it basically does an amazing job of collecting interview quotes, images to back up the quotes, just some really good stuff to dig your teeth into - honestly, read that and you probably wouldn’t even want to read the list below.

1. duck and avoid

I have never met a bunch that will seemingly jump and hide behind a tree to avoid answering any tedbecca questions, but the writers (here’s looking at you jsuds et al.) are masters of the:

This could be disheartening but considering part 2 of this list… it’s very telling. It’s actually a safety thing, too, ‘cause they don’t have to promise the fans a. thing. If they avoid talking about it, hinting about it then they don’t have to follow through on anything. It protects the interest of the show – it’s not stupid… However, the second reason (my preferred, optimistic and what I hope is more likely) they won’t give anything away this way. The payoff will be so. much. better. If we’re getting moments like we’ve had already had in season 1 and 2, that is fine. It’ll work. So, there’s been no lingering touches, almost kisses, being (overtly) jealous over love interests, no friends exclaiming (yet) ‘oh my god, you like [Ted/Rebecca]’… what we’ve had is quite weighty topics and connections between the two. What I will say about the subtle parts of their relationship and why it works… chemistry, honey. These two have the chemistry to pull. it. off.

It’s interesting, because the argument I see mostly against them as a couple is usually… that they make good friends. Which is absolutely true. They make amazing friends. The best. And as we all know, no good friends can ever get together. In fact, it is very important that all romantic relationships are based on couples not really being friends at all.

youtube

There’s actually a really great meta post on here which I recommend everyone also read - that kinda sums up the vibe of Ted x Rebecca perfectly, too

[sidenote: I also want to mention, whilst we may not have had traditional will they/won’t they tropes - we’ve had massive gestures: most of the gala episode, the darts scene, helping with panic attacks (noticing them when nobody else does - twice), the biscuits, using the team to spell out ‘hi boss’ for absolutely no reason other than to make her smile, using tinsel to spell ‘hi ted’ for absolutely no reason other than to make him smile, singing at her father's funeral... ugh]

2. fake outs bastard fake outs

Okay, so, I know I mentioned above about like there’s been no ‘lingering touches’ or ‘almost kisses’ and any of the usual ‘oop’ tropes that typically we associate with will they/won’t they (cough het-)couples (I've mentioned some of the gestures they do do). This, the fake-outs… this is more of like a flip it and reverse it (shout out to Missy E) and more of a ‘wait, is it?’ Like I mentioned in the first point, this is like the part 2 to their not mentioning it in interviews etc. It’s another really smart way of holding their hands up and saying, ‘but we didn’t do anything’. It adds to the fact that later, once it’s canon, they can be like ‘did you enjoy these little hints and jokes and omg can you believe we made it like Rebecca was the one actually going to Ted’s room?!?!?’ but if they don’t make it canon – well, hot damn, it was Sassy at the door and Sam on the app and it’s not our fault we saw differently.

Look, the thing is… the bait and switch is sadly a thing (general queerbaiting for the last few decades, or the fact that I’ve not watched an episode of SVU in my life and even I want Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler to fuck and get married, jfc). Teasing the audiences is cute for the writers, it keeps them thirsty and well, come on, what’s more powerful than making people think/want something that “isn’t there”. Gaslight your audiences. Hot.

3. parallels, honey

The parallels and connections between the two is 100% in favour of tedbecca. PERIODTTTTT. It goes beyond ‘these two are both divorced’. We’re talking about two middle-aged people, their journeys are connected, and they meet at a pivotal point in both their lives - one has a rough marriage/divorce, the other has that sad soft divorce which is just as heart-breaking because:

They are soulmates. Sorry about it. Jason and Hannah have both mentioned it. I’m not trying to be cute or blurt out a huge ‘they’re made for each other’ statement. Their souls… are connected. On purpose. Their grief follows a similar path. On the exact same goddamn day, to the year, something happens to these two people 4 thousand miles apart that links them. An event that changed and shaped who they became, the choices they made from that point on (especially in regards to the relationships they have). The fact that this moment links them and they aren’t even aware of it – firstly, A* storytelling and secondly that’s all for us. There’s a chance that organically that conversation will never come up between them on screen – it took both Rebecca and Ted decades to talk about it after years of trauma – (these were two breakthrough moments: Ted coming to understand his trauma and Rebecca coming to realise that she has trauma, but heck… that’s a season 3 problem) – anyway, the fact that they may never (at least on screen) talk about this is even more important, because we (the audience) were shown this not just to further our understanding of the characters but mostly to give us another example as to why they're connected.

Ted signs his divorce papers on the same day that would’ve been Rebecca’s wedding anniversary. Ted and Rebecca have their first rebound sex post-divorce on the same night. Season 1 and 2 mirroring “truth”-scenes. Rebecca not being ‘enough’ for Rupert, Ted being ‘too much’ for Michelle. There are even parallels between their relationship and the relationship between Roy and Keeley (this tweet thread will explain it better than I can). We could even go into colour-matching clothes in scenes (or complementary colours) but… look… it’s there.

4. fan service

The year is 2019, the pandemic? Not even a thought in our innocent minds. There stood Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth, fucking (off camera, cowards) for half an episode and for what? Fuck all, that’s what. To give the fans something because at least they got something. I won’t get into it, not right now, it’s still raw - fan service, though. That’s what that was. Not that I’m saying it didn’t make sense for them to get together - but doing it for the impact of him leaving?

Look, it’s lazy storytelling. Supernatural fans know it. Game of Thrones fans know it (from fan service to... fan disservice, am I right?) So, what has this got to with Ted and Rebecca? I’ll be delving into a certain hard topic further on but... fan service could definitely be something that comes into play with these two.

There’s three that could happen and they all revolve around Ted leaving (ew, I know, we’ll talk about it later). We get the ‘declaration’ - ‘I love you’ before Ted gets on the plane. The kiss - probably just before he leaves (or near enough) or the worst one... the ‘you could come with me’ speech. The ‘throw caution to the wind but I actually know that’s not what you can do because you’ve created something wonderful here and I can’t actually expect you to give it up for me howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ speech. The opposite of this is the ‘you could stay’ conversation, which is always heart breaking, for the exact same reason. Unfortunately, one or all of these could play out. We could get a kiss in an earlier episode, a discussion later on when Ted doesn’t renew his contract and he ‘jokingly’ says ‘what if you came with me to Kansas?’ when she asks ‘what about... us?’ and then... the ‘I love you’ before he leaves, probably with a sweet little ‘I don’t know, Boss, maybe we’ll meet again’ and, I don’t know, bloody Vera Lynn plays in the background.

It’s... a possibility. All of these will feed wonderfully into many years of fanfiction from a broken hearted bunch of humans that just wanted to see a nice healthy relationship play out.

(Also, and it’s so goddamn stupid I know but I do believe the fact Roy/Keeley have this healthy relationship in the show could be used as an excuse to have a little heartbreak where Ted and Rebecca are concerned - like ‘look, we gave you one, what you thought everyone was getting a happy ending? LOL')

(Oh, also also - as this show has been linked to rom-coms and Nora Ephron time and time again - it could very well be that they do get together but all we get is the romantic ‘kiss’ at the end. The ‘I wanted it to be you’ moment - not the best but...)

5. no chemistry: they’re just friends

Okay, so I mentioned earlier about how people think they work better as friends. Ironically, these are the same people that also tend to claim that Jason/Hannah have no on screen chemistry. I guess I’m going to have to do an impromptu science lesson - that’s no how it works, gang. When people do a chemistry test together it’s not a bloody casting couch situation - they don’t just walk into a room and fuck. It’s all about whether or not the chemistry is there to pull off authentic scenes. This goes from anger, friendship, love, hate... so, uh, you actually cannot claim that they have no chemistry and say that they work better as friends. You can’t.

I see a lot of comparisons to Ron/Leslie (parks and rec) and Jack/Liz (30 rock). I know this is going to be painful to hear, guys but they also... had chemistry (and by chemistry I do mean, enough that the question of them getting together was something the writers/actors of both shows were asked if it was going to go that way). Now, I get it... Amy and Tina are both SNL alumni, it may be safe to argue that Jason wanted to create a show that had a similar sorta set-up, right? Yeah, sure, fine... A big difference is how the shows approach talking about these couples, the fact that the writers tend to avoid talking about Ted and Rebecca whereas in 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation any notion of romance between Ron/Leslie and Jack/Liz were. shot. down. and that in itself (see the first point) is very telling.

SEXISM. That got your attention? I wasn’t sure where to put this so I added it on. I’m just going further from an earlier point...

So, sexism is actually an issue I think people have with tedbecca - not the sexism between them... but the type of man Ted is vs. the type of woman Rebecca is. I’ve seen comments about Rebecca being too much of a woman for Ted, one comment mentioned her being too ‘spicy’ for Ted. Now, I don’t know about you, but there’s something about Ted that screams that he has never had an issue with how much of a woman any woman is (or how much of anyone... anyone is). He’s very in touch with his masculinity, femininity and his own ignorance (always willing to learn) - this is where the sexism comes in... people want either someone unthreatening to Rebecca (i.e. someone that’s not a main character, maybe a bit boring) or someone who will dominate Rebecca (i.e. someone... like... oh, idk, her ex husband). I’m going to talk about Ted’s relationship with Sassy later (and I’ll talk about the character later, too) ‘cause I know people will be like ‘but she’s a whole lotta woman and I want Ted and her to get together xoxo’.

In this sense, the sexism works as a tool to make Ted not “man” enough for someone like Rebecca and Rebecca “too” much woman for someone like Ted (do not get me wrong, we’re not saying Ted isn’t a strong male character here, but he’s just not the right type of strong male character). Funny, in this case (unlike with their on-screen exes) Rebecca is too much and Ted is not enough...

6. season 2

Season 2 as whole is very… it needs to be looked at. Ted and Rebecca don’t have as many moments together (at least arguably not alone). This could also be disheartening. After all, we’re watching a show so, we do need to be shown things (most of the time). However, like life, a good show can happen off camera. I’m going to focus for a moment on Nate’s storyline. Nick Mohammed posted an amazing tweet, where he goes through all the important (and intentional) decisions that were put in place for his character’s storyline. (in fact, that tweet alone should be enough to remind you that nothing is left to chance with the writers). There is one part of the tweet that stood out:

The divide and separation between Nate and Ted is very well thought out. It’s a part of his ‘demise’. Arguably, the same can be said for Rebecca and Ted. They both have different journeys that they go on through season 2 and, unfortunately, that keeps them on different paths. However, like I mentioned in point 3 – the show works to keep them connected, too. It’s intentional. Hannah Waddingham mentions it in an interview that she is aware that Ted and Rebecca didn’t have much screen time in season 2 – there is a big difference between how Rebecca and Nate perceive the distance with Ted, though. Nate feels betrayal but Rebecca se… wait, I’ll get there. Anyway, when Ted has his panic attack, Rebecca notices. Not only does she notice but her first thought is that she must get to him.

She leaves Ted a voicemail. Also, oh my God, okay, so I’m backtracking a little again, ‘cause as will they/won’t they go – missed/ignored voicemails is a good one (any fans of the newsroom in the house? you know what I’m talking about). Anyway, in the voicemail to Ted she both offers her concern and help and even asks for his aid in return. It’s safe to say, because as this whole point is about, this show is amazing at show don’t tell – that he didn’t respond to that message. In the next episode, we get this little exchange between the two. You know the one. The boot room moment. I’ll go through it, anyway. She enters the boot room, spots Keeley smoking, and joins her - Ted, off to the side, looks at her from the moment she enters, until she walks past him without sparing him a glance (ha haha ha, ouch, I’ll gif it below). Anyway, in that scene you can see how she keeps her eyes trained on Keeley, even as she sits, she’s in a position where her back is turned towards Ted (heck, even when she explains that the boot room is where they go to smoke, she’s directing what she’s saying to Higgins – a man who’s there with a smoking pipe… so already well aware of that – she only looks at Ted when he makes that ‘oh, really?’ disapproving Dad ‘hmm’ sound to that, and the cherry on top, he’s actually looking at Keeley not her in that moment).

It's one of those moments where you could easily miss it – because Rebecca’s not there being mean or cruel as she ignores Ted. Rebecca is absolutely in her right to be a little hurt by Ted’s avoidance – just like Ted was in his right not to… respond. He’s unwrapping a lot, it’s not something he’s able to work out yet it’s hardly something he can throw towards another person (he’s literally just starting therapy). Rebecca is protecting herself here (and because she understands Ted – she’s also not going to actively guilt him - plus in the conversation she makes a point to tell Keeley that she should open up and tell Roy about her issues with him and Ted actively argues against that - that it’s better to bottle things up, which she gives a knowing smile about... like I said, she understands Ted). You could even argue, that when Keeley leaves the room with Roy – as she’s left behind with Ted (and the others), there could be a moment before she or Ted leaves when she casually asks him if he’s okay (that’s very… Rebecca). Like Hannah said in the interview linked above “is [ted and Rebecca] have scenes where you don’t necessarily see them together, but you do see- the audience sees them together.”

Rebecca won’t hold it against him. That’s what I mean when I say the difference between Nate and Rebecca – she actively tried to help Ted and was, in fact, rejected – Nate didn’t even notice he was going through something (because Nate himself was going through a lot of internal dialogue where he was filling the gaps with negative shit because of his own damage – he was being left behind by Ted and because of his own relationship with his father, his (likely years) of bullying from football players that disrespected him… look, we’ll take a day to decode that speech he gives Ted in the last episode another day). Basically, Rebecca understands Ted. She gets him (soulmates, remember?). He’s so goddamn late to her father’s funeral, he walks in during her eulogy – just his presence is enough to get her started. Then he helps her get through it, too, ‘cause as Hannah says: ‘’It has to be Ted. It has to be Ted, even if he hasn't been there for the rest of the day, even if they haven't seen each other much on screen together at that point. It has to be Ted that picks her up and runs with it.” – and she takes the time afterwards to check in with him afterwards. Her Dad is dead, and she knows something isn’t right with him. She sees him.

I’ve got a section devoted to Sam later, but for now – it’s important that she goes to Ted when she admits she’s a little compromised when it comes to Sam’s future. Firstly, it’s holding herself accountable to what could be considered a mistake. As we also learned from Ted in this season – he won’t get involved in telling a friend when they’re in a relationship that is bad for them – so he just agrees with everything that she says about her relationship with Sam and when she asks for his advice, he’s earnest – because he sees her, too – and knows she’ll make the right choice… but it is her choice, in the end (and what is Ted if not someone who respects a woman’s right to choose - unlike certain men who like to make the choices for them).

7. the henry of it all: hello kansas

The elephant in the room. The enormous, adorable little, tiny elephant. Henry bloody Lasso. I’m not going to beat around the bush here. You want to know the biggest block in any Ted Lasso (person not show) ship? It’s that guy. He’s your problem. Well, more…where he is.

I’m going to take you on a brief (relevant and somewhat self-indulgent) interlude for a moment. Ashes to Ashes, sequel to Life on Mars, aired over a decade ago. Main character, Alex Drake (played by the wonderful Keeley Hawes), had a daughter, Molly. I’m not going to explain the plot of the show (or LoM) to you, but she ends up in the 1980s as a police officer and she has the goal to return home in the 2000s… to her daughter. This is where the Henry/Molly similarities lie. Both Henry and Molly represent, for the parents, an unavoidable fact: someone they love is in another place and they must return to them. For this reason, Alex Drake, despite the disgusting chemistry, fights any notion of romance with Gene Hunt because of that. She cannot, of course, allow herself to be emotionally compromised by doing something like… falling in love. [sidenote: This case is quite an extreme one, because basically… for her to stay in the 1980s… she’d have to be dead in the 2000s, leaving her daughter basically an orphan (deadbeat dad alert, heyyyyy) and wanting that for her, just so she could bang Gene Hunt was selfish (lol, we all wanted it, anyway). The reason it’s an extreme case – spoiler alert if you want to want and you haven’t – is she ended up dead anyway, not getting to be with her daughter, but also forced to ‘move on’ and not end up with Gene, either. I didn’t have to mention that, but it makes me angry over a decade later I just wanted to] The important part there was… Molly. She was a problem.

Molly, meet Henry. Of course, romance aside, Henry exists, like I said, to remind us that (along with all Ted’s other quirks, God bless him) that he is not from here. An important part of Ted is over 4k miles away. Ted’s kinda later in life bildungsroman journey – is all about coming to terms with his father and abandonment (even his platonic and romantic relationships and how he is with them, as mentioned in another point, is all down to his relationship with his dad’s life, death and everything that came afterwards). A very important scene happens in episode 6 of season 2. No, not the panic attack (although that is a very important scene) – no but it is a scene that links directly to his panic attack. It’s all about Henry and lunch.

It sucks but, in this moment, Ted is an absent father. Not emotionally, don’t get me wrong, but he is someone who cannot fulfil his role as father to his son (right then). Like his father couldn’t. There’s a lot of layers here because, for one, Ted is a very loving and devoted father. He loves his son, every choice he made coming to England was for his family… full circle would be going back to Kansas to his family (I’m talking just Henry here, do not even get me started on Michelle/Ted getting back together – but I will, and it’s in another point below). Ted’s journey, the three act play aspect of the show (which could still be the case or maybe not ??? will anyone ever give as a straight answer ??), it feels like if we look at it optimistically – everyone will come out of it a better version of themselves from having known Ted (and similarly, he’ll be a better version of himself having known them)… so he’ll go back to Kansas and yeah…

Okay, so there’s the argument that Ted will realise that he doesn’t have to be present to be… present. He is a good father. Henry isn’t suffering at all from the distance (except missing his Dad) and when he’s older, he can travel between the two – because what’s cooler than your Dad being absolutely loaded and living in London when you’re in school? I could talk about it more, but this one is firmly, I’d say, leaning more towards endgame for Ted is barbeque sauce and building Legos with his son.

However, that doesn’t mean in regards to Rebecca and Ted’s potential relationship there isn’t another option. Rebecca is... disgustingly rich. She comes from money, married money - got at least a premier league football club from that marriage (and probably the money she brought in)... like this woman has a yacht, private jet and a personal driver for her Rolls-Royce (but when she’s feeling a little down to earth, she’ll jump in her range rover and river herself around). She is LOADED. It is safe to say that, she could afford to take a step back from her active role as owner of the football club and move? I mean, considering Higgins knows the ins and outs and take from example Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds owning Wrexham AFC (and both living and working in America)... it's not beyond the realm of possibility that she shifts gears. Not completely giving the club up of course (lest it feed into the 'picking a guy over your career' narrative - talking about you, Rachel Green).

8. sassy, sam and everyone between

They’re not important. Bye. The end.

8.1 sassy smurf xoxo

No, okay. Sassy. I’m not going to get into (much) of a character dissection. I think, I believe she is one of the weakest characters in the show. Not a thing I like to say about characters in Ted Lasso ‘cause the show is amazing with even the smallest characters. But Sassy? She’s like a rebellious Mary Sue. A ‘Mary Sue’ (just saying in case ppl don’t know) is basically a fictional character that is so perfect, she’s boring. So, by rebellious Mary Sue – what I mean is like, she’s got no layers, but we’re meant to be like ‘wow, look how fucking badass she is’. So yeah, by gosh, isn’t she fun? Isn’t she basically meant to show us what Rebecca could’ve been like? She’s an independent, supposedly amazing child psychologist that swears like a sailor but is also extremely pretty and confident and sexual and bold and... snooze (see what I mean, Mary Sue). In arguably one of my least favourite moments, she lets Keeley (and the audience) know that the ‘real Rebecca’ isn’t what we’ve all grown to know. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine to imply someone who you’ve not seen in 6 years has changed (time, life and abusive relationships will do that) but the implication here is that she’s less. Fake. That doesn’t sit right with me. For an incredibly smart woman, seems to be a… well a bit of a shit friend…

Just in reference to Rebecca’s father’s funeral – Sassy is the only one that knew about what happened with Rebecca and her father and she’s about as supportive as a broken bra. That’s why she’s not important, imo. She’s not there for Rebecca. She’s there for Ted. 2/3 episodes she is in, is for Ted. She may be ‘Rebecca’s friend’. Someone who, technically, is the same ‘level’ as Rebecca but ‘undamaged’. Also divorced (just like Ted and Rebecca), also has a kid (unlike Rebecca but very much like Ted) and super interesting - she will willingly go and fuck a basic stranger with 0 invitation for… like… look, if we investigate it too much, it’s actually creepy (I still, to this day, cannot work out how she got Ted, the character we know, to fuck her – not because he’s not a sexual being, but imagining that conversation? It’s impossible).

Anywaaaaay, in a similar argument, the fuck happened at the funeral? She’s basically feral trying to get to Ted and it’s all about the sex (which, right, good on you jsuds, make you everyone knows your character has a big dick and knows how to use it – I appreciate it). Where does Nora go when she goes off with Ted? I know the assumption is that she goes and has a quick romp (what, in his flat? where it was in such a state? because he is – again – mentally very fragile?) – but I like the theory that they chatted… maybe she actually does have a degree in psychology (specialising in children but still) and puts it to some actual goddamn use? Maybe she spotted something in that moment where Ted helped Rebecca in her father’s funeral and asked him to look out for her? Maybe there is more to this character than… nothing…

Also, ew, look, finding someone attractive because you like damaged things is in no way a ringing endorsement for a long-term relationship. Bye.

[sidenote: Nora ‘No Last Name’ - when I say Sassy is here for Ted, I mean it... her character even lacks a motherly attitude (gives off more ‘cool aunt’ vibes), Rebecca has that episode with Nora - where they re-bond after the time apart - and we get to see her in the role of motherly figure... but Sassy...??? it’s because, like I said, no layers... she can’t be too ‘motherly’ because then she’s not that cool, badass, confident, sexual being that forgives her friend after six years of silence because she’s just so good (i hope you realise that’s the implication there - rebecca: bad guy for cutting sassy out. sassy: good guy for coming to her rescue after she was divorced -- all knowledge, talk, discussion about the abuse she faced because of her husband is pushed aside, because... sassy is just... so cool, you know?)]

8.2 sweet sam

Look, I adore Sam. I love everything he stands for (very literally) and his enthusiasm and admiration for life. I really, truly think he is a wonderful character. I’m not going to get into him at all, really (okay, I will a little). He’s lovely, I wish him great storylines and lots more scenes in season 3. Just, uh… you know… maybe not screwing around with his boss.

Okay, first, Sam being outside Rebecca’s house at the end of episode 8? Before she texts him? If the situation was different, that could’ve been creepy… No shade, obviously, it’s played as romantic because it worked out perfectly but... when Rebecca said to Sam it could never happen again (after kissing him) and the way she says ‘I have to mean it’, she is pleading with him to respect her, respect her wishes because she doesn’t know if she can be strong enough to do so alone… him being there, waiting outside, not taking no for an answer... that doesn’t sound respectful... don’t get me wrong, her texting him is her flinging herself into a situation she knows she shouldn’t get into. It’s messy on both parts (and I mean... I assume intentionally).

Whilst we can call Sam a man, he is the very definition of a young man, his optimistic nature is both lovely and incredibly naïve. He’s got so much growing to do (although, I will say, I feel it’s slightly out of character for Sam to not respect Rebecca’s wishes, you know? but whatever). I don’t want to make this post exclusively about the age difference but… it is, sadly, incredibly important. Like, the power imbalance here? The actual life altering damage their relationship could do… And, unfortunately (unsurprisingly) it would fall more on Rebecca than Sam (sexism and a dash of ageism, baby). Rebecca’s life would be ruined… and for what? Sam is in the beginning of his career, if they went public/were found out... he could swap teams because people respect him for his talent in football... rebecca? she could lose everything... also, his goal is to end up back home playing football for his team – is Rebecca, who could be around 50 at that point going to be travelling back with him? Does she want to leave? What about marriage? Does she even want to get married again? Does he want to get married at all? Would he want kids?

Finding someone attractive. Being loved by someone like Sam, for someone like Rebecca, must be amazing. He is… wonderful. He finds her wonderful, too. She deserves that love but… okay, as romantic as ‘love at first sight’ or ‘true love’ or ‘hot chemistry’ can be… sometimes love all boils down to choices. Think Alexis and Ted (eyyy) in Schitts Creek, two people who make a choice – despite being in love, their relationship cannot continue, not if they are to continue to grow as people (also, fyi: that scene… ma’am, I am not strong). Rebecca and Sam should make a choice... and thankfully, where they left it off, they could just line under the situation right there... we’ll see...

8.3 everyone else

Now, there are some people that uh, think perhaps Ted and Michelle would get back together. I... cannot comment. I didn’t think that would even cross people’s minds. Uh, look, I get it. It’s like he had to come to the UK, become a better person to be... what? Become a lesser version of himself so his ex-wife would not find him unbearable and get back with him? Hmm. Sounds great.

Don’t get me wrong, doesn’t that nuclear family image sound like just the perfect little Kansas life Ted always imagined he’d have? Sure. He did have it, though - and it didn’t work out... I don’t think therapy is going to make Ted change the fundamentals of who he is, just makes him understand why he is that way. So, the Michelle of it all - eh. Maybe she’ll come over and be like ‘omg, I want to try again’ and he’ll entertain the thought before realising that he is not in love with her any longer. (...maybe he’s in love with someone else, oh I don’t know... Sassy... hahaha kidding - always Rebecca).

I also read some fucker saying Rebecca anD RUPERT SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. Sir, that’s her abuser. No further discussion needed here.

We also have Dr Sharon and Ted. Okay. Right. Look. He was her patient - do not get me wrong, there’s many a true (and fictional) story where the lines have been blurred and patients have gone on to (usually when they’re no longer patients) get with their therapists, psychologists or whatever-ists. Completely legal and mildly morally grey. It’s about the power imbalance, like how I mentioned with Sam/Rebecca, Sharon has the most vulnerable knowledge of Ted’s past and also the tools in which to deal with that - it could be great, ‘hey, my gf was my psychologist and now she helps with my panic attacks’ but in reality... she will always have something over Ted. Not intentionally, but that power exists... it’s why even, sadly, them being friends is a tricky thing to navigate.

I’d be open to Trent and Ted, if that was on the table... I won’t lie to you... wanna know why? Chemistry, baby. They got it (not always intentional, see?)

Also, okay, I know someone’s going to be like ‘omg but Ted had sex with naughty Mary Sue, therefore Rebecca can’t be with him’ but like, guys, come on... there’s a whole scene in season 1 about not judging someone on their sexual histories...

Listen to Ted here:

Is that enough, do you think? I know this is incredibly bias and opinion based (I included references for a lot of it, though, okay... I’m bias but I’m also a fact checker). I tried for rational... eh, what can you do? Look... do I think the intention is there? Yes. Do I think there’s a very good chance it’ll happen? Yes. Do I also think it may not happen? Uh... I mentioned being bitten quite a few times, right? So, yeah... It genuinely may not happen... there’s a lot of factors here that could work against it, ugh... but it’s there. The most important thing is that. People who are shipping them aren’t pulling it out of their arses - if it seems like Ted and Rebecca getting together is ‘too obvious’ then I guess one day I’ll explain how storytelling works, too... anyway, if you got this far, god bless you

#ted lasso meta #ted lasso #tedbecca #ted x rebecca #rebecca welton #mine*#reposting this in one post all together because i've had a few messages about it #this is about 6k words btw #and will take about 20-40 minutes to read depending on your reading style #other than the new 0. point #this is all the same stuff in the other posts #my gifs #my edits #my meta #i guess #enjoy if you read

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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Demigod MC Series: Nyx

Nyx is a primordial goddess and the Greek personification of Night - the mother of Hypnos, Thanatos, Nemesis, and many more. She's a mysterious figure in their mythos as there's little surviving info about her cult. What is known, however, is that she was portrayed as beautiful, powerful, and feared by Zeus himself.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx

Lucifer

What happens when you take a being born from the darkness and place them in a realm of eternal night…?

The answer came when the MC first stepped out of the portal. Everyone in the room was wholly expecting a normal-looking, confused human they could get up to speed, however…

The MC's skin suddenly darkened until it was as black as a shadow, their clothes levitated around them as if they were defying gravity, and glimmering speckles dotted their skin like twinkling stars.

Even their eyes turned a pure, glowing white without irises or pupils… Like two crowning stars locked into a body made from the shimmering night sky...

They weren't human. At the time, Lucifer wasn't even sure he could say what they were... Breathtaking, certainly, but there was something else about them that he couldn't place… something… foreboding...

Diavolo must have had the same unease because Barbatos was put in charge of monitoring them. The butler would send reports to them both and the results would range from benign to nerve-racking...

They kept their distance from his brothers and most people, but their power seemed immense... Barbs would report seeing them making small items float or summoning a meteor shower from their fingertips!

Lucifer ended up actually tasting their powers only once. When they stepped in to protect Beel and Luke and he went to attack them…

The whole House began to shake and the candles of the tomb started going out one by one as the air grew intolerably heavy... He could have sworn he saw a vortex of… something... swirling at their feet...

He backed off immediately and Beel and Luke got off with a warning, mostly because he was trying not to look utterly petrified...

He's never met a more beautiful and dangerous creature in his life… Pact mark or no, this is probably the only person the firstborn will admit he never wants to have to fight because he'd lose, big time.

Mammon

He was expecting to find a human when he walked into the Student Council room, not an alien!!

Mammon was seriously scared of the MC when they first met because he legitimately believed they were an extraterrestrial sent to probe him!!... Or whatever else those scary movies say aliens do, lay eggs in his stomach?

He straight up avoided them like the plague until the Goldie incident more or less bound them together. But even then there was a distance between them he just couldn't place…

Naturally, it bothers a demon a bit if their master doesn't seem to like them, so he eventually cornered them one day to force them to tell him why they'd been running off!

As it turned out, the MC actually knew as little about their new form everybody else! They had been perfectly normal in the human world, but for some reason the Devildom supercharged them! They could tell that they were powerful, but had no idea how to control themselves yet and it scared them...

So Mammon became their first unofficial "coach." Not that he knew how to train them or anything, but he was the first person supportive enough to even try to help them learn their new powers.

It led to some… interesting misadventures. Like when the MC unexpectedly burst every water pipe in the House or when they got a little too frustrated and ripped the kitchen apart with an accidental twister, but hey, Mammon was always there for them at least.

Of course, because he's who he is, he's not above asking the MC to help him with his schemes for "training purposes…" Infiltration is more fun if you're weightless, after all!

Speaking of weightless… His favorite way to float is when the MC gets excited and hugs him. They can't help but levitate them both off the ground when they're that happy and it makes the whole hug that much sweeter.

Leviathan

It's… it's like he's in his very own Magical Girl anime!!! Uh, "I'm a Demon and this is My New Life with a Magic Starchild!!"-or something like that. 🤷‍♀️

He didn't even think their transformation was real when he first saw it! He really thought it was an elaborate body art cosplay but then their "freckles" rearranged themselves when he frightened them, so it had to be real!!

He'll declare that they're probably (literally) the coolest thing on the planet. They have the looks of an epic fantasy character plus insane powers to boot!

…though uh… they may need a training arc or two to learn how to control them… 😅

Since their powers are apparently tied to their emotions, Levi's seen them do a whole bunch of stuff that's not entirely on purpose... Like, they can make things float when they're happy and push everything down when they're sad.

So once he showed them one of those "tragic ending" animes for fun, but they cried so hard that they increased gravity and accidentally sent his bathtub crashing into the basement…

The worst of it is when they're mad, though. He made the mistake of making them play a rage game once and they ended up shattering all the glass in his room! His aquarium wall and Henry's fishtank included!!

They were able to make a zero G sphere of water in order to save Henry's life, but the cleanup was brutal… They were super sorry, but Levi took most of the blame himself anyway.

Honestly, he'd have been more mad but their body is clearly not something they can control just yet. Plus, it's so cool that he can put up with a little destruction anyway, you know?

Satan

Well, isn't that an interesting phenomenon?

Meeting a demigod is exciting enough, but one who reacted to the Devildom like that? It was pretty much unheard of!

Though he'd hate to admit it, Satan stalked the MC just as closely as Barbatos for a little while... But only because he was a little unsure of how to approach them…

They kept to themselves and their powers seemed "a little" unpredictable (see Levi's orphaned bathtub). Thankfully, Mammon ended up recommending the MC to him since Satan's one of the smartest guys around.

Satan made a better coach than Mammon, anyway. He was far more knowledgeable and actually able to hypothesize the strength their powers, which came in handy because uh… well…

Look. The whole realm 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' over their appearance but they're all fools - no morons - for not noticing what potential the MC actually has. Satan was positive that the MC is the most powerful being in the Devildom, without question.

They had a complete control over gravity, atmospheric pressure, and even astronomical bodies… If they wanted to, they could literally pluck a planet out of orbit and send it careening into who knows what!

Want more terrifying? They could create near-matterless vacuums at the palms of their hands with the potential to suffocate, crush, or rip apart basically anything they wanted with implosive force….

Does he even need to spell out why that's utterly horrifying??

At least the MC seemed to be a genuinely nice person who wanted to control their powers better… Their emotions often got in the way but they tried their best.

He likes the MC a lot, but he'd be lying if he said that they didn’t also terrify him… They may have been pretty normal in the human world, but give them endless night and they may as well be a god...

Asmodeus

Oh… My… Father!!! They're GORGEOUS!!!!

From the moment their transformation completed, Asmo had never seen anything like them! He said that they were like a living droplet of the night sky!

They were magnificent!! They were radiant!!! He was posting pictures of them before they had even said their first sentence!!

So Asmo was pretty much patient zero for any and all rumors and hype about the MC after that... Apparently someone like them only visits the Devildom every one, maybe two, centuries so everybody was bound to get talking.

Thankfully, the MC's habit of ducking out of the House kept them from becoming a full on sideshow. Unfortunately, however, Asmodeus was relentless!

He'd beg them to try modeling or make videos with him because of their unique look! He'd lay on the praises, but it was a little... much. It wasn't until Mammon finally stepped that he backed off a bit.

Asmo sometimes forgets that not everyone puts as much emphasis on looks as he does... Though he meant well, he hadn't realized that the MC maybe wouldn't appreciate him making such a big deal out of their appearance change. Pretty as it was, it was still involuntary to them...

Of course, after they told him this he cooled off and stopped putting them out there so publicly but even still he could hardly keep his eyes off of them... unless he was looking in a mirror, of course. 😘

A fun fact about the MC: when they blush, their skin makes a pink nebula. And thanks to his antics, Asmo has seen their lively pink cheeks many, many times… 🤭

Beelzebub

Belphie would like them, wouldn't he...?

Beel's first reaction upon seeing the MC was genuine sadness, as seeing the stars with his twin brother still gone often brought him…

The sadness didn't last too long at least because Beel tried his best to see the MC more like a person than a work of art or an oddity. Sure, they looked different - like really different - but they still laughed, cried, and ate like everybody else so they couldn't be that different.

Though then again, most people don't end up floating in midair when they laugh… Eh, oh well. It's not like those little details bother him. 🤷‍♀️

He always remained certain that Belphie would like the MC so he told them a lot about him. Since his twin loved stargazing, it'd only be natural that he'd like someone who looked like the stars, right?

Aside from the occasional tangent about his brother, Beel would also help the MC with their training by letting them help him with his training!

Controlling gravity can be pretty nifty for strength/resistance exercises, so there would be days where Beel would just pull a Dragon Ball and walk around at 1.5 or 2 times Earth's gravity thanks to having the MC on his back!

Sure, lifting a glass of milk becane so difficult that he literally broke a sweat from trying, but he felt like he can juggle motorcycles afterwards so who's complaining? Not him!

Belphegor

……

………….

Was it some kind of joke?

The MC was not human. There was no way in heaven or hell that whatever he lured to the attic was supposed to be a human!!

Really, everything about the MC and their situation seemed directly designed to throw a monkey wrench into his plans...

One: They weren't human so how was he supposed to ruin Diavolo's dream? Two: They were clearly some kind of magical being so they could likely defend themselves…

But third ans most embarrassing of all... he honestly, genuinely, has never seen a more amazing person in his life. Blame it on his soft spot for the stars, but the moment the MC step up to his prison bars, he was smitten...

And. He. HATED IT!

Look, as much as he loved the night sky, he wasn't about to let some random non-human derail his anger! He was stronger than that!

He managed to hold onto his bitterness just long enough to make a halfhearted attempt on their life after they got the door open, but uh…

His brothers found Belphie when he fell through a newly-made hole in the ceiling... Said hole was made when his body slammed to the ground hard enough to crash through the attic floor... 😣

If the damage they caused wasn't enough to change his mind (which it was), then their distress when they thought they might have hurt him certainly did. Even their tears looked like stardust...

After far too long, Belphie got over his denial and began to properly love MC. If he liked stargazing before, he adored it now because he never even has to get out of bed! He can just roll over and follow the "stars" on the MC's body!

Unfortunately, that same love means it also takes a lot to ditch him if they get sick of being his personal night's sky… The brothers have found him floated up and sleeping on the ceiling on numerous occasions so the mortal can get some fresh air (clever MC)...

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me demigods

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venusiangguk · 3 years

Text

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !!

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants.

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study

me:

yeah but im not gonna

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I- am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing.

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about.

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile.

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself.

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side.

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm.

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.”

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts.

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar.

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night.

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?”

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.”

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found.

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists.

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going.

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later.

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer.

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.”

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace.

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins.

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…”

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad.

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?”

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all.

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs.

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls.

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over.

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene.

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand.

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?”

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-”

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.”

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd.

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it.

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether.

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you.

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed.

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up.

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone.

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken.

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.”

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair.

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock.

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.”

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room.

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum.

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.”

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow.

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly.

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both.

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is. But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :*

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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

Text

Where the heart is // B. B.

Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) are getting a divorce because they are silly and both love the other so damn much. (Happy Ending!)

TW: Talk of divorce. Talk of potential pregnancy and babies.

A/N: Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

TAGLIST: Find the link to join my taglist in my bio. Will reblog this post with the taglist attached seperately.

Waking up from this nightmare How's your life, what's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be? Does it hurt when you think about me? And how broken my heart is

The apartment is deadly quiet as Bucky steps inside, only the rattling of his keys echoing through the halls that once seemed so warm and inviting are now but a cold reminder of what used to be.

People never really talk about these moments. The after. The wreckage. The ruins of what used to be. Sure there are movies and books and countless songs but they take the feeling and they wrap it up in beautiful words and prose and make something beautiful of it.

There’s nothing beautiful in the way Bucky feels as his feet drag him towards what used to be his bedroom, which is now hers. There’s nothing beautiful in the way he feels as his eyes wander over to the closed door behind which lays an empty room. One that is empty not because of choice but because of the shitty cards life has dealt both him and her.

There is nothing beautiful about the way he feels. Only sadness. Only hurt.

When he turns the corner and steps into the bedroom, his heart drops for a second. He hadn’t expected her to be here, not with how quiet the place is. But sure enough, there she is. Sitting on the fluffy comforter they bought together, legs tucked underneath herself. She said that comforter was the exact same shade of blue as his eyes. Now she doesn’t even lift her head to look at him, focusing only on the box resting on the bed before her.

“Hey uh — I didn’t expect to run into you.”

“ I live here. Sorry to disappoint.“

“ I know, that’s not what I meant. It’s just so quiet. “

She shrugs but still doesn’t look up. There’s so much resentment there, dripping from every word. He can’t fault her for it. Not even a little. If he was her, he’d hate himself too. Maybe this will make it easier for them. If she hates him, that’s a straight cut. Right? Hating is easy. It’s loving that’s hard.

“ It’s like that now. You here to get some of your stuff?” she asks, looking up at him for the first time. Her eyes are red and tired. Not like they were when he left, filled with tears and sorrow. Now they’re just infinitely sad and exhausted. Like all the life and all the warmth and all the passion that he fell so deeply in love with, has been sucked out of her. He hates knowing it’s partially his fault.

“ If that’s okay with you.”

“ sure. “

The movies and the poems and the books and the songs, they never talk about this. The after. The limbo. The “will you keep this or shall I take it?”

They don’t talk about the fact that you’re supposed to pack 5 years of relationship into a bunch of boxes and figure out what to do with it.

He quietly walks into the closet, as if making any noise would break whatever bubble is currently surrounding the two of them. Sometimes he wonders if things would be different had they been different people. Had they been able to express their feelings differently. Sometimes, in the most secret part of his heart, Bucky wishes there would’ve been screaming. Maybe screaming would’ve been helpful. Sure, it’s not the most eloquent way of communication but at least it is communication. But there was no screaming. Only silence. Only feelings swallowed up to never be spoken about. To suffocate them from the inside out.

Making as little noise as possible, Bucky grabs some of his clothes and stuffs them into the duffle bag Sam gave him. He had that look on his face, the pitiful one. The one that says “sorry, man”. There’s no reason to feel sorry for Bucky. This is his fault after all.

There’s a sound coming from behind him, and for a second he really believes it’s his mind playing tricks on him. But then he hears it again, louder this time, more clearly.

She’s laughing. Maybe not a full-on laugh but a chuckle. It’s been a while since he’s heard that sound.

“ What’s got you laughing like that ? “ Bucky asks as he turns back around only to be greeted by her smiling face. God how much he misses that smile.

She looks back down towards the box in front of her and the picture in her hand.

“ It’s uh — it’s a picture of the first time you stayed over. “

His legs carry him towards the bed as if they work on autopilot. As he sits down next to he can just about make out the scent of her shampoo. The one he bought for himself last week, not because he necessarily likes to use it. He bought it because he misses the scent. Because he misses her. And if he can keep her close like this, even for a small moment, he’ll buy an entire store's worth of shampoo.

Her fingers gently grip the picture so as to not rip or crumble it. He can’t hold back the smile that pulls at the corner of his lips as he recognizes the picture. It’s a slightly less gloomy version of him, in love and asleep. Curled up on her old tiny couch in her old tiny apartment with her dog Yoda sleeping soundly on his chest. He was so nervous to stay over at her place the first time he did. Nervous about so many different things but mostly about doing something to hurt her. Physically but also emotionally. To think that now his biggest fear came true, crushes his heart even further.

“ I miss Yoda. He was a good dog,” she says as she puts the photo back into the box. Truth be told, Bucky misses him too. He was grumpy and lazy and he didn’t ever really listen to them. But he was loyal and cuddly and all in all, he was the perfect dog for the two of them. And he had accepted Bucky into his and her life immediately. As if he knew that Bucky of all people needed nothing more than a chance to prove himself to be something other than a killer.

There are more pictures in the box, alongside other clutter that Bucky can’t quite make out. One of the other pictures he can see clearly, is one of the two of them on their first Halloween. The Halloween that Bucky didn’t want to dress up for. The one he promised himself he would spend curled up on his couch watching a scary movie and not open the door to anyone, Trick or Treaters or otherwise.

He ended up going out anyway. With her. FOR her. And it was one of the best nights of his life even if it meant he had to dress up like a skeleton.

“ What is all this? “ he asks though, by the way his heart starts beating faster, Bucky isn’t sure he even wants to know the answer to that question. “ You getting rid of our pictures? “

He doesn’t want it to sound so accusatory. They’re broken up. Separated. In the early process of a divorce. She has every right to get rid of their pictures. Get rid of him. Bury the memories. Just because he can’t let go doesn’t mean that she’s grieving in the same way.

“ No, “ she scoffs and pulls out a small scrap of paper, “ this is a memory box I started when we first got together. It’s things I didn’t know where to put but that I wanted to hold on to. I had planned to give it to you for our 10 year anniversary but … well “

She doesn’t have to say it. He knows.

“ Then after the — seperation I put some other stuff in there. Memories.”

“ Can I see what else is in there? “ he asks “ since I won’t get to see it on our 10 year anniversary.”

Bucks isn’t quite sure why he adds that to the end of his sentence. It makes him sound spiteful and mean and he can tell, by the look on her face, that it hurts her. And he’s done enough of that in the past. Isn’t that exactly the reason they are here in the first place?

She considers it for a moment and Buck can only guess the different kinds of emotions running through her then. He feels them too. All of them. They are confusing and most of them are negative. She has no reason to let him see this, relish in sweet nostalgia with him as if everything is okay and they’re not getting a fucking divorce.

“ Sure, I guess. I — yeah.”

She scoots more to the middle of the bed, making more space for Bucky to sit down properly. He’s perched on the side that was his. The side he fell asleep on and woke up on so many times. And she was there next to him. Always there and warm and soft. And she’d smile at him through sleepy eyes and a hazy mind and she’d rival the sun. And then she’d gently comb her fingers through his hair and say good morning and he knew it would be — a good morning.

He hasn’t had a good morning since he left.

She moves the box to sit between them on the bed and motions for Bucky to start digging in.

There’s a pile of what he realizes are old movie tickets. It's something they used to do when they first started dating. Thursdays were movie days. But while everyone went to see the new blockbusters, the two of them would pick the movies that sounded the weirdest and they’d buy a big bucket of popcorn and blue raspberry slushies and just relish in the grandeur that is bad cinema. Most of the time they were the only ones at the cinema. Sometimes things got — R rated.

“ Why did we stop doing this? “ she asks as Bucky looks up from the tickets “ going to the movies I mean. It was always my favorite day of the week. “

He tries to remember. Tries to pinpoint the moment when life changed and their Thursdays weren’t their Thursdays anymore. He can’t. He comes up empty.

Sometimes life changes in little ways, ones you don’t realize at that moment and they don’t seem significant either. It’s a broken tradition. A missed movie night. It’s slow and creeping but at some point, you stop and look at your life now and it doesn’t resemble your life then anymore. Everything has changed and you didn’t even notice. Not for one single second.

“ I have — I have no idea. “ he has to confess.

“ Remember that movie with the killer florist ? “ she asks and her voice is laced with laughter. Something sparks up in his heart. A tiny flicker of something he’s missed. Something he hasn’t felt in a while. He can’t help but laugh along.

“ I do! Or the one where the woman fell in love with the Koi in her neighbor's pond? ”

“ Oh god! That was terrible. “

“ It was.”

She looks wistful for a moment as if her thoughts wander off to some long-forgotten memory.

“ What are you thinking about? “

He never usually had to ask her. He’d either know or she’d tell him on her own accord. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between them. One he wants to break down or climb over so badly. But does she want him there? After everything?

“ The day we saw that movie was the first time you said I love you. “

It’s true. Now that she mentions it he remembers it so clearly. It’s like he’s suddenly faced with a scene from a movie he’s forgotten about a long time ago but once someone mentions it, he remembers it in great detail. Knows every word. Every line.

“ I still don’t quite know what it was about that moment that made you say it but — “ she trails off, a smile playing on her lips.

Bucky knows. It wasn’t a groundbreaking realization back then. He’d been feeling it for months. Fell deeper in love with her with every glance, every smile, every silly movie he got to watch with her. They went to some dingy diner after the movie to grab a burger and some fries. The leather seats were old and the filling was spilling out, the air smelled of grease and air freshener, and the laminated menu cards were sticky with undefinable stains. All things considered, it should’ve been a bad date. It wasn’t though. Nothing was ever bad with her. She smiled. All she did was smile and hum along to some song Bucky didn’t know as it spilled from the jukebox. And it occurred to him then, that there was no need for a big gesture or a special moment. Every moment with her was special. Life couldn’t get any better than this. Existing was enough if only she was there.

“ Nothing. “

“ Hm? “

“ There was nothing special about that moment. I just realized that I would be okay with anything if only you are there. You — that’s all I need in life. “

She looks at him then and for a second he thinks that maybe she’ll kiss him. Tell him that they are making a mistake and ask him to come back. Tell him that she doesn’t blame him. That she forgives him. That she wants him anyway. Despite — everything. She doesn’t though. Just sighs and pulls another picture from the box.

It’s a picture of the two of them cuddled up on the couch with a tiny white ball of fluff resting on her chest.

“ Our first picture with Alpine. “

“ That was taken on the day we found him. Look, you can clearly see the scratches on my face from crawling around the dumpsters to rescue him. “ Bucky points out.

He had never thought of himself as a cat person. Really he wasn’t so much an anything-person anymore, after Hydra. But somehow that little cat had wormed his way into his heart and refused to leave.

“ Was worth it though! “

Bucky nods his head in agreement “ it was. “

“ You should — you should take him. He’s really more your cat than mine.”

“ He’s our cat.” he points out.

“ Bucky there won’t be an ours anymore. Soon.”

It breaks his heart. Over and over again. He just got used to being himself. The version he was when he was with her. How is he gonna deal with doing it all over again? He doesn’t want to be a version of himself after her.

“ I don’t have a place yet and Sam’s allergic. “

“ He can stay here until then, of course. I love him. “

There’s a lot of love there that’s being given up on, Bucky realizes. And he hates every part of it.

“ Shit, remember this? “ she chimes up again as her hand holds onto a thin receipt, the black ink bleached away and thinned out from years of being stuck in a box. From years of memories fading.

“ Is that from the —”

“ The tattoo place, yeah. “

The patch of skin on the inside of his arm grows hot as if he is suddenly aware of what is there. Something long forgotten. A small letter forever etched into his skin in black ink like the way she’s forever etched into his heart. Always there. Forever. Just like the delicate lines that write his own name onto her collar bone. James. Not Bucky. Not Winter Soldier. James.

“ Oh god, I can’t believe you kept these,” Buck exclaims as he picks a pair of bright blue knitted socks from the box. They’re made from scratchy wool and there are a million and one holes in them. It’s so her. So quintessentially her. To keep them. With their holes and their scratchy wool and all. Even if they’re a mess. Even if they’re broken. She holds onto things no matter how bad. No matter how lost and sad and broken and useless. She holds on tight and doesn’t let go. Unless you make her. Unless you force her to. Unless you break her heart.

“ Umm … you made them for me. Like you literally learned how to knit to make me a pair of socks to keep my feet warm. That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Buck. Of course, I kept them. “

Bucky bashfully shrugs his shoulders, a tint of red dusting his cheeks. “ I’m glad you liked them. Even if they’re scratchy. “

“ I like you and Alpine and you guys are the scratchiest,” she points out. She’s not wrong.

“ Was I a good boyfriend? “ Bucky asks and while in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter, he wants to know anyway. Wants to know he did something right.

“ You were the best boyfriend. “

“ I’m sorry I was a shit husband. “

She stays quiet for a moment and with every second that passes by he breaks more and more. He wonders how much of him is left at this point. How much there’s still to lose. Then again, what does it matter? He lost her and that’s all that really matters.

“ You weren’t a shit husband, Bucky. “

It’s like the world suddenly moves in slow motion as they both grab the 2 things left in the box.

Bucky holds onto the blue velvet box knowing exactly what’s inside. The last time he held it, got on his knees in front of her, put the ring on her finger, that was one of the best days of his life. A sign that the Winter Soldier was his past and that he could finally truly move on. They were younger, in love. Happy. Now he hardly remembers what happiness feels like.

“ I was so nervous to give this to you. Not because I thought you’d say no or anything. I just — I just wanted to be enough. The ring and the proposal and — me. “

“ You were always enough. “ she says and he can hear the tears in her voice. It’s thick and heavy and he knows that if he looks at her now, there will be tears in her eyes too.

But he doesn’t look at her then. His eyes fall onto the piece of fabric in her hands. It’s so small. Soft peached colored with a little bunny embroidered on the front. It’s tiny and cute and it belongs to no one. It’s tiny and it should’ve been theirs. But it isn’t.

“ No, I wasn’t. He says and shakes his head. You deserve more than I can give you. “

She throws the baby romper back into the box and gets off the bed as if someone has set it on fire.

“ What’s wrong? “ he asks as if he doesn’t know. Everything. Everything about this situation is wrong. They’re supposed to make love on this bed, not cry over memories long gone. Push away thoughts of their looming divorce.

“ I don’t know, Bucky. Maybe you can tell me. “ She calls out to him as she pulls the rest of his shirts from the closet and throws them into the bedroom. Colors of fabric flying through the air like wings of a bird flapping through the winds. Some of them she lops at him, passion and anger and wrath and sadness filling her eyes. “ Maybe you can tell me why the fuck we’re doing this. Why we’re putting ourselves through all this pain and suffering and this bullshit divorce. Maybe you can tell me why you left me to have a fucking breakdown every time I walk into my closet and see this goddamn dress, “ she cries while holding up the hanger over which her beautiful white wedding dress is draped. God, she looked so beautiful that day. Like a goddess. Like an angel. Like his redemption.

“ We were happy. We were trying to have a family. And then what — it doesn’t work and you leave? You just gave up. “

“ I didn’t give up. “

“ Yes, you fucking did! You gave up and you served me divorce papers and you didn’t even give me a fucking choice. “

“ You agreed! “

“ Because I love you and if you don’t want to be with me, then I am not keeping you. I love you enough to let you be happy even if it’s without me.”

Those words send a shock through his heart. Like an icicle. Cold and sharp and unforgiving.

“ You think I don’t love you? You think YOU are the reason?,” Bucky questions before grabbing the romper from the box and holding it up “ this is the reason. This is my fault and mine alone. It’s my fault that this belongs to no one. It’s my fault that there’s an empty room in this apartment that you can’t walk into because it hurts you too much to see it empty. You deserve to be a mother and clearly, I can’t give that to you. That’s the burden I carry but it’s not one that should be put on you. I can’t give you this but you deserve it and you should have it. So this is me letting you go so you can find someone that can give you a baby. Someone who isn’t broken. Someone who doesn't have a body that doesn’t work anymore. Not in the way it should. “

“ James, “ her words a but a whisper as his name tumbles from her lips and she lets her wedding dress fall to the floor to sit next to him and hold his face in between her hands. “ That wasn’t your fault and you are not broken. I want a family, yes. I want a child. But with you. I want a family with you and it doesn’t matter if it’s my blood or not. It’s our family whichever way we decide to do this. And if we — if we stay just us and Alpine that’s fine too. I just want you and whatever else we decide on. Together. I love you, James. I love you and I miss you and I don’t want a baby if it’s not with you. A family means nothing if it doesn’t include you. Whatever the consequences of the serum are, they are not your fault. You are not broken, James. You are you. You’re a hero. A husband. And maybe one day a father but above all, you are James Buchanan Barnes, a survivor and you are not broken. “

He knows he should be saying so many things right then but all his thoughts get tangled up and won't find the way to his lips.

Instead, he says the only other thing he can think about right then.

“ You looked so beautiful in your wedding dress. “

She laughs through the flood of tears that leak from her eyes and trail down her face.

“ I mean you always look beautiful but that day. My god. I honestly couldn’t believe you said yes to me — of all people. 106 year old me. Wouldn’t believe it until the moment you walked down the aisle. Then I knew that this was really the start of my new life. Of my forever. “

“ I miss you Bucky. “

“ I miss you too. “

“ I don’t want to divorce you. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband.”

“ Even without the babies? “

“ Yes, “ she nods and brushes her fingers through his short hair. “ You are my family James and you are enough for me. Always”

“ I love you. “ he says because really, it’s the only thing he can think of. The thing he wants most. The only thing that matters.

Without another word, he pulls the ring from the box and delicately slips it back onto her finger. Where it belongs. Where it always belonged.

“ I’m sorry I was ever this stupid. I should’ve just talked to you “

“ Yeah you should have but right now can you — can you just kiss me? “

She doesn’t need to ask him twice. He kisses her once, then twice, then once again. It’s been a long long time since the last time he’s kissed her. Too long. Way too long.

He’s not gonna stop anytime soon. Never again. Never ever again.

“ Hey, “ he says “ how about you slip into your wedding dress I think for all my stupid decisions I owe you a dance. “

“ I think you might be right. “

And she’s smiling, so bright and radiant. Like the sun. Like all the stars. Like his own personal light in the darkness.

“ Don’t expect too much though. I just cried, my hair is a mess — I won’t look the way you remember me looking in this dress. “

“ You’ll look gorgeous.”

And he’s right. She looks breathtaking. She looks like a wonderful, wonderful dream. Like love captured in a person. Like a second chance. Like his home.

There are a lot of thoughts racing through Bucky’s mind as he pulls her close and they sway to the melodic tunes of their wedding song as it sounds from the speakers of her cellphone. But above all there’s love. And the knowledge that he is enough. That they are enough. Their tiny little family. Perfect and not broken or missing anything. It’s good as it is.

They don’t have to think about who gets to keep the decorative throw pillows, the records they used to collect together, the plates that were a wedding gift, the cat. Because it’s theirs. Together. Shared.

And forever.

#bucky x f!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female!reader #Bucky Barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x female!reader

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steve0discusses · 2 years

Text

S5 Ep 29 Part 2: Welcome to !NotEgypt

Fun fact, just finished up a project of doing a book cover for someone who was like “can you do stitches, like in cross stitching?” and I was like “oh, I happen to already have a bunch of brushes like that, actually” and the reason why I had all these digital cross stitching brushes? Because I wanted to make Yugioh fanart with them as a joke. Which was such a funny thing to resurface a few years later. I did not expect that cross stitch gag to help me get real work.

So make fanart, guys. It’s good for you.

Now last we left off, Pharaoh was vacuumed up into a tunnel made out of CGI. In Photoshop, to make this texture you click “filter>render>clouds.” We’re not going to see too much of this in the caps though because it was quite blurry.

While he’s there, Bakura’s ghost just kinda jumps out of the puzzle around Pharaohs neck--sounds weird but thankfully I have a visual for you (which is still weird).

Lots of levels in this episode, you got a ghost living in a different ghost (although the puzzle is on Yugi, so this is the ghost manifestation of the puzzle that Bakura is leaping out of, but don’t think about it.)

And the ghost that was living in Ryou decided it was freakin done with this mess, and in a huge beam of light just jumped directly out of this poor boy.

Congratulations, Ryou Bakura, you are no longer possessed.

He had a total of 2 seconds to enjoy it before his head hit the cement.

(read more under the cut)

I assume that he probably off-screened the Ishtar family, because we get no mention of how he ended up on this stairwell unseen. Just a blur of stuff happening because we don’t have any more time to stuff something into this episode.

Almost like there’s so much going on here it should’ve focused on this stuff instead of all that filler. And as entertaining a lot of that filler was, boy does this arc decide some of it just never happened. Not that Yugioh was ever that heavy on the continuity.

So the 2 parts of Bakura’s ghost decide to become 1 ghost, and I can no longer use the joke that the relationship between Yugi and Tea is a foursome. Their relationship on Facebook went back from “It’s complicated ;) ;) ;)” to “It’s complicated 🥱 “

(I just realized Facebook didn’t exist when this episode came out, holy crap.)

Meanwhile in the Ishtar Foyer, they are recovering from the many beams of light that just occurred so no one has noticed Bakura is passed out on the steps about 15 feet behind them. I really hope someone finds Bakura because I don’t know much about the sands of desert, but I have been raised to believe every tomb in Egypt is full of five million poisonous scorpions. Someone please save the nasty boy from the scorpions.

Yugi is very upset about losing his ghost, and at first I was like “hey, is this scene here a throwback to S1, when Yugi was also sobbing on the ground after breaking up with his ghost?” And so I went back to S1, and youknow, Yugi ends up sobbing on the ground so often during this show, that this isn’t so much a throwback as it is just Yugi every 5-10 episodes or so. I kind of forgot what a freakin disaster Yugi is because I’ve gotten very used to it.

Speaking of disasters, Shadi has decided to show up.

This show loves a Matrix plot so much, lets go over our Matrixes, a recap:

-Kaiba’s MMO he made in VR that never got officially launched (I hope) that was mostly offbrand pokemon, mazes, and dragons

-Gozaburo’s MMO he made to keep Noah Kaiba busy (it didn’t) and potentially trap all mankind into (which honestly is a strange business model). Could only be escaped by either going to the arcade where Johnny Steps once dance-faught with Tea, or by abducting Mokuba and becoming Mokuba (which is much easier)

-That time Mai got trapped in the Shadow Realm and thought everyone was having fun without her (also she was being slowly buried in quicksand but she didn’t care about that as much as the FOMO)

-That time Joey got trapped in the Shadow Realm while fighting in a tournament and he had to win a tournament to wake up from the Shadow Realm and go back to the original tournament.

-That time that Alister created a world to show Kaiba that Gozaburo ran over his brother with tanks???

-Shadi’s Pyramid In India that Matrixed Alexander the Freakin Great as well as the Ghost that haunted Alexander the Freakin Great (which is also the ghost living in Bakura don’t think about it).

-Pharaoh’s Memories, which, looking at our other list of Matrixes here, are so incredibly Not Real People that he’s interacting with, but I don't know if he knows that. Even after all of these Matrixes, he seems to think it’s not a simulation.

Anyway, Tristan suddenly realizes something and brings up a plot Point from like S2.

Congratulations if you have been watching from S2 and remembered any of this when it happened in S5. I only remember this because I write a meticulous blog about it.

RIP the Shadi’s Wacky Pyramid in India Plotline, I can’t believe the show just decided to de-canonize it so quickly, hahaha. There was too much Yugi/Tea Shipping in that arc for the creators of this show to commit to it, lets be honest. Maybe the India arc was made after this one? But like...it wasn’t, right?

Lets check out Pharaoh’s memories, shall we?

So, in a big beam of light that Pharaoh has no control over, he becomes--himself!

It is nice to see him as actually Egyptian, which is a pharaoh that we don’t ordinarily see. He still looks a lot like Yugi, but the artists did their work to make it different enough that he finally looks like he’s not just Yugi’s Dad or older brother. Also that wig is a LOT (because this was Egypt, so it would likely be a wig), but I want to note some of the hair spikes are actually part of a crown, which is easier to see in other caps. Kind of a cute touch, I like that.

++++++++++++RANT ABOUT THE OUTFIT YOU CAN SKIP++++++++++++++

Mind you, this is like the aftertaste of an Egyptian outfit from this time period, but the influences are there. Like I don’t want to do a deep dive into Egyptian clothing and design (although deep dives like that are very accessible right now, which is nice) but I want to note that this episode features beads.

Thank you, show, for remembering that ancient people were whole hog about beads. It’s an extra thing to draw, sure, but you gotta put beads on your ancient peoples. Egyptians, in particular, had a hell ton of beads.

But are there beads on Pharaoh and the others? Not really, that’s hard to draw, instead they have pieces of plate armor. In ancient times in Northern Africa you don’t see much of any armor at all because it’s a freaking desert. However, it’s hard to tell if this is actually plate mail, or an artistic interpretation of what would have actually been decorative pieces stitched together like a beaded necklace.

Also, this is Yugioh, so their tech was probably not the same as our universe’s tech (like they had magical creatures and stuff) so I can let it go that we’re 300 years before the Bronze Age and he’s got a bunch of plated stuff. You have to have that tech in order to make the millennium items anyway. (although there was metallurgy way before the Bronze Age, I just don’t know too much about historical metallurgy to care because this is a fantasy show anyway)

Like I would love to see a historically accurate Yami outfit drawn. There’s probably one around somewhere because trying to draw something historically accurate is so vogue right now. Then again, this probably hasn’t been done because a.) There’s not to much extant pieces left from 3000 BC to copy, and b.) none of the historical costuming sticklers really care about Egypt, which is a whole other rant.

Something I will bring up though, is that the side characters in Egypt wear a lot of cloth that looks like straight up tunics and knee-length skirts, probably because like...they had to cover up for TV. You can’t have your ladies just shirtless with see through skirts, like how historically accurate can you really get for daytime TV? Sure this show had a couple of attempts at suicide and killed quite a few people but a boobie? Never in a thousand years. They can’t even show Pharaoh boobs anymore.

But when you look at depictions of Egyptian wraps, there’s a lot of really fun shapes there that I wish the show had taken advantage of. Lots of wild hangings they had on the front of their tunics back then. But Instead it leans on simplicity, and then they end up drawing just so many folds anyway I don’t know why they didn’t just go for it and do something weirder on a show that already loves weird fashion.

+++++++++++++++++++++++END RANT+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And also this isn’t enough color for Egypt but they probably decided on that so we wouldn’t lose the center of focus. But I’ve already gone over how garish the past was and how I wish we’d just draw the past being colorful as hell.

Anyways Grandpa’s here. The Eyes from the abyss. Just looking up at me from under that brim. Those intense awful eyes.

*slow claps*

Remember when Alexander was like “I really looked up to you, Pharaoh.” What a freakin liar! Pharaoh was on this King seat for like 3 minutes. Good for you, Alexander, what a way to lie directly through your teeth.

Honestly I thought this was hilarious. Maybe he lives a little longer than this, but knowing how TV arcs work, They only have so many episodes to wrap this up, and it’s gonna go through the steps of what he went through before !notKaiba killed him, and so we only got like...maybe a week, tops.

I look forward to seeing how long this Pharaoh actually sat on the throne, maybe there’s a huge time skip that happens where Pharaoh will magically be 52, but I am fully enjoying this ironic twist that the entire time our competent Pharaoh was actually a green dumbass. Yugioh sure does love that irony.

The only room with color, rejoice! Also the boys are all in town for this party/funeral, too!

!notKaiba is still a huge asshole, and yes, they gave him a terrible hat. I have seen forshadowing about this hat for so many seasons but a part of me just really hoped it would not happen. Alas, the hat is here, and it looks like ass to draw.

!notKaiba, the word of reason, is completely ignored.

Also !notPegasus is here.

So I stumbled on a viral tweet yesterday about an Egyptian guy called “Akhenaten” who was...probably the name they were going for, but I don’t know for sure. I grabbed the spelling of “Aknadin” from the closed captioning but Yugioh is referencing this guy, right? Like apparently he was a very disliked Pharaoh that tried to change their religion and after he died, his people removed a bunch of evidence this guy existed.

Also, a bunch of people online think he was an alien from outer space, which is how that viral tweet stumbled across my timeline. Now I don’t follow Egyptology or aliens online, but twitter has no rhyme or reason as to to how their algorithm works, and so I assume sent me that because I have too much Yugioh in my search history. Either way, he seems like good bait to make a Yugioh arc out of. If this arc goes to space, I will be pleased.

Also I’m guessing !NotPegasus is a freakin weirdo based on evidence (and also future Pegasus). That’s just my bet.

I later found out this is not !notShadi but is in fact !notOdion, and like....

....he has those abs all the time, right? Like in the present, under that cute purple turtleneck thingy, he’s just jacked?

Also the Ring is here:

Featuring who I believe is !notMarik wearing it. Which really leaves a lot to interpretation of how current Marik got so freakin effed in the bean from a very young age: he was not only under a lot of duress, he had the wrong millennium item the whole time. But clearly he craved one, so he stole someone else’s. A fun bit of worldbuilding, I think.

So, for reference:

-Seto Kaiba : Seto (easy to remember)

-Pegasus : Aknadin

-Ishizu : Isis

-Grandpa : Shimon

-Shadi : Shadu (also easy to remember)

-Odion: ???

-Marik: ??????? Yeah, I already forgot. My bad.

I went to do a cursory google search and only found links to wikis I’m not letting myself read because of spoilers. None had like...their actual name just right there in the title of the link. I could also just boot up hulu, but listen it’s been a long week so I’m gonna take a nap instead. I’m sure it won’t be important (it will).

Hell yeahhhhh it’s the second episode of this arc and we already got a Pharaoh cult! I do love how nearly every season of Yugioh has a cult in it.

Pharaoh has himself a secret cult made up of maybe the most unhinged people that have ever stepped foot onto this show (and Ishizu, who was never unhinged but deffo just likes to let things happen and watch it burn). At this point he can say “yo can you say my name real fast?” and then go straight home because wow. I think we figured out how this guy freaking died.

But that wouldn’t be an interesting arc, so we’ll get to the tail end of this episode in the next one.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

Have a good one and stay safe out there guys, it got pretty real out there.

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