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drchucktingle · 4 months

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my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

#actually autistic #chuck tingle #tingleverse #buckaroo lifestyle

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theawakenedstate · 2 months

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What is Divine Feminine Energy & How to Practically Use it?

You may be asking yourself, “What the Heck is Divine Feminine Energy and How do I practically use it?”

Here’s the thing, this concept is wildly trending right now, especially in the dating world & Personal Development. There’s been a lot of talk around, “Dark Feminine energy”, “Accessing my Divine feminine” and “Healing my Divine Masculine”. It’s become a concept that is often… lost in translation. 🙈

And We are forgetting its Roots are Spiritual.

It has more of a TRUE SPIRITUAL PURPOSE.

It lives in understanding Kundalini Energy and has nothing to do with your dating demeanor or dating style. 🙈

Sure maybe there are some truths to those opinions – But In actuality, babe this is an inner game. It has nothing to do with Being Projected on and everything to do with:

your Unique Emotional Relationship to Giving and Receiving.

How you take Action

How You are Manifesting and Getting Results

The way you are Choosing to Show up

The Development of the Heart Chakra

Balancing our Divine Masculine and Feminine Energy within is a practice and skill.

However It’s important to learn so that you can have more balance and Spiritual alignment in your life so you can feel emotionally empowered.

What is Divine Feminine Energy?

Divine Feminine Energy is the state of receptive allowance. If you grew up suppressing your intuition, you might have a hard time connecting to your Divine Feminine energy, which is very naturally intuitive and receptive. If you were to just imagine here how energy works, we have receptive (passive) energy, and then we have active energy. Active energy is when you’re putting forth a bunch of effort. You’re taking the actions you need to take. You’re pushing yourself forward.

Then on the other spectrum, we have receptive energy. This feels like listening instead of talking. It’s flowing instead of forcing. It’s being in a place where you’re allowing instead of pushing.

This is the best place to manifest because when you’re in this space of the divine feminine, you’re listening to your intuition more easily. You’re starting to understand the receptive messages that are coming forth. Most Importantly, you’re able to easily Pick up on Aligned Actions to take. Tune into this week’s episode for the Full Download on How to Practically use the divine Feminine in your own Life.

youtube

LISTEN ON YOUTUBE

LISTEN ON THE PODCAST

Common Myths Around Divine Feminine Energy

#1 – People Make it about Gender and LOA Dating Advice. Divine Feminine Energy and Masculine Energy has nothing to do with Gender.

It has everything to do with understanding Passive or Active energy currents from Kundalini.

This is a weird trend in the dating world right now where we’re loosely using these terms to better connect to feminine energy or ‘attract in a better masculine man’

this concept is NOT the same as Kundalini Divine Feminine. It’s also harmful to the Lgbqt community because this makes it a very black/white concept that is not even true.

MYTH: Projecting an outward view on Divine feminine and divine masculine energies that helps your dating style is false. This often is Leaving you in a victim mindset that if you’re not “feminine enough or divine masculine enough” your dating life will suffer. or keeps you panicking you’re “attracting” the wrong type of human.

This got lost in translation from the ancient teachings of Kundalini. Ida and pingala, Shiva and Shakti – babe, nothing to do with how you’re dating. That’s an official Law of attraction teaching – NOT divine feminine or divine masculine energy. Beside, you know what i would say, Relationships are all about healing the Heart chakra anyway _

#2 – Using Archetypes to Heal yourself to understand Divine Feminine or Masculine Energy. Archetypes are a beautiful Tool, However don’t get lost in the word salad out there leaving you scratching your head…

Another New age Trend that Floats around is – “to properly understand Divine Feminine Energy” we need to be tuning into Mary Magdalene or Venus/Aphrodite Consciousness to “properly Understand the concept of How to Connect to this Higher Consciousness.

Unfortunately – They usually never give you anything tangible to work with and instead say ‘Connect to this archetype in meditation’

MYTH: This is a very confusing, aloof way to Connect to Divine Feminine energy. Most people who say this – you will notice – give you a red flag of nothing PRACTICAL to do. They give you a bunch of *ahem word salad* If you’re hearing word salad – They probably really don’t know how to balance the Divine Feminine and they are just giving you what they heard in the echo new age chamber game of Chinese whispers.

#3. Saying These Concepts don’t exist at all & we don’t benefit from practicing them, yet we can trace Kundalini back to ancient teachings from 9000 BC in Hinduism.

They used Kundalini for Healing, Accessing higher wisdom, and Spiritual growth.

Along with the awareness that we see this concept in various cultures throughout the centuries. The same thing with a different spin on it. like the Yin/Yang. Pagan God/Goddess. and so forth. MYTH: Divine Feminine and Masculine Beliefs don’t benefit us regarding Spirituality and understanding self-realization.

1. They do Exist.

2. We can Most Definitely Benefit from Understanding How These Energy Current Work.

3. It’s one of the best teachings on Alignment there is that helps us grow & heal. Kundlalini has always at its core been a tool of Balance and understanding Energetic Spiritual Alignment.

It’s a tool to merge the Spiritual self (Feminine energy) and the Material Self (Masculine Energy) so they are working in harmony with one another in your daily life.

But unfortunately, this teaching gets soo lost in translation

that we judgmentally think it’s about:

a projection outside of us,

Its about gender due to society’s conditioning (patriarchy)

or we think it doesn’t exist at all

Let’s Break the Mold

That’s why we’re breaking the mold and talking about HOW you can practically Understand how to Balance your Masculine and Feminine Energies within you,

Are you ready to feel Emotionally Empowered?

I’ve put together the PERFECT Bundle for you this February that is going to… Help you Practically use Masculine & Feminine energy so you can transform your Awakened Self from the inside out!

Access inside The Divine Feminine Rising Bundle : From The Soul-Aligned Life Academy – The Monthly Spiritual Awakening Membership

Psst Like this Blog? Share it on the Socials or Pin it for A Spiritual Bestie to Find, Thanks!

https://www.theawakenedstate.net/what-is-divine-feminine-energy-how-to-practically-use-it/

What is Divine Feminine Energy & How to Practically Use it?

You may be asking yourself, “What the Heck is Divine Feminine Energy and How do I practically use it?” Here’s the thing, this concept is wildly trending right now, especially in the dating world & Personal Development. There’s been a lot of talk around, “Dark Feminine energy”, “Accessing my Divine feminine” and “Healing my Divine Masculine”. […]

#balancing masculine and feminine energy #divine feminine #divine feminine energy #energy healing #feminine energy #raising consciousness

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foxymoxynoona · 2 months

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Sexual Trauma is a common theme throughout your writing. How are you able to write such themes , are they emotionally draining or are you able to detach your self in a sense ?For me personally that specific theme helps ground the pieces and makes the characters more real to me . I appreciate how the trauma does affect each character on different levels but does define them completely , basically they are not only seem as victims but you manage to never minimize the effects that has on a person and their perception of themselves . Thank you it is very important to me . Also thank you for having your female leads be sexual beings , thinking of Sasha or our Bear Queen , women are judged many times for being lustful or seeking pleasure in ways men are not across societies and generations . So shout out to you for female empowerment .

Also thinking back most OCs don’t have a relationship with their mothers or they are dead , is that something important for you to include or just works out that way . Anyway love your writing

It's very emotionally draining, for sure. It's why a lot of times I'll write a few chapters at a time when it's hard emotional stuff because I need to work through it before I can emotionally or mentally disengage, and it really bleeds into my real life. I really try to get into the heads of my characters and think of what they're thinking and feeling in any scene, so when they are stressed or hurting, it feels very real to me too. It's not a theme I write about in all my stories, but has certainly been part of several of my longer stories (Sasha, Lowlander, Sugar Fairy, Amended, and I think Meadow qualifies too). One thing that interests me as a writer is the different ways their experiences influence them, the different ways they respond to their own experiences. Childhood trauma and interrupted adolescence and attachment development/early childhood social development are very big interest areas for me, so most of my stories are in some way looking at the themes of how childhood shapes the adult, and how adults become who they want to be regardless of their pasts.

As for sexual beings, I really try to represent the whole spectrum of female relationship to their own sexuality --probably more fully when I include some of my writing that I haven't posted (I write a lot more besides the BTS fanfics I post). I think this too is greatly influenced by upbringing and culture and the formation of identity. Some of my characters struggle to understand their needs, others feel totally at home and in charge even if society judges them for it, many are somewhere in the middle.

Which also relates to the third thing you mention: mother-daughter relationships good, bad, absent, and everything in between, the relatinoships between women, pseudo-maternal figures and so on. If you look at my full masterlist, I don't quite agree that most have bad or dead mothers haha but I think again, it's several of my bigger stories so I can understand why it may make my masterlist feel weighted that direction. Grace, Hanbyul, Nasimiyu, Sydney, and Alex all have good relationships with their mom, Kamen has a generally good but complicated relationship, and from there you get into the complicated or absent relationships. I think the way generations of women relate to each other is fascinating and meaningful and powerfully good and powerfully flawed, not just blood-maternal but also things like OC's relationship to a mother-in-law (The Mother, Eommas), or maternal figure (Dr. Kim, Narae, etc etc.) It's also fun to explore the ways it's the same or different for sons and mothers.

Anyway, I'm really touched how closely you read my stories! Relationships and culture and sexuality and childhood experiences and on and on, it's all the tapesty of the human experience that i really love exploring in my writing, and i Hope to contineu to find new paths and lenses to view these things through in future stories <3

#asks #my writing

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crowmaxer · 1 year

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Castiel, Cas, is an angel - a warrior of god the size of the Chrysler building, forged by heaven and older than mankind itself - squeezed into the body of a man

And his most important mission was the salvation of one soul. Dean Winchester. A monster hunter. An abrasive, stubborn, broken and faithless man that died saving his brother.

He gripped him tight and saved him from perdition.

and for 11 fucking seasons, cas loved humanity, loved earth, loved dean winchester. Dean’s soul, his heart, his love and his care. What Cas saw, Dean couldn’t. Dean would deny being lovable with his dying breath. Irregardless, Cas loved ‘humanity’ so much that he was punished and cast out of heaven.

so, Cas fell and became human, a father and husband, killed his siblings, fought a war, became God, then an angel again, fell a second time, got possessed, Died, came back to life… and forgave, and forgave and forgave.

i admit i stopped watching the show after season 10. This👆? All in good fun, just fan theories and elaborate self-indulgent fantasies. just one big 15 year old inside joke.

so imagine my surprise:

nov 5th 2020.

what the fuck just happened?

i feel like i’ve been hit by a bus

did Castiel just say “I love you.” to Dean Winchester episde18x15 of Supernatural!? hello?!!?

Yes, castiel is insta killed and sent to mega-turbo-ultra hell, never to be seen or mentioned again.. but That Happened…

that’s real!!

Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester.

Castiel, after 11 miserable seasons, years of queerbaiting, public disavowal from the producers, mockery from the actors, against all odds and at the threat of death, finally for a first and last time said. “I love you.”

I can’t even describe what that did to me.

I felt euphoric, gleeful, crushing grief, spitting hate, bone deep nostalgia, childish giddiness, pride, scepticism, shock, peace. lunacy. the full spectrum of human emotions, all at once.

like an electric film on an old tv screen. tangibly intangibile. a full body buzz.

there was something so so so fucking funny in the exact order of events on november 5th 2020. Putin’s rumoured resignation, the US election, Sherlock season 5?! and the cherry on top? The most homophobic gay confession of a decade’s long trash-fire internet breaking show.

Now, tumblr? Oh people know of Supernatural (the entity). but that night was different.

Spn sleeper accounts came out of the woodwork left and right for odious farewells, long time lurkers crawled into the limelight to feverishly gawk at the dead horse of the greatest queerbait canon and laugh, even some bystanders got sucked into the site-wide feeding frenzy of the spn fandom finally cannibalising its source material and it was the funniest thing I have ever witnessed. The energy was palpable, tumblr was Alive. Oh, it was glorious.

There will never be another November 5th 2020. It’s indescribable and I wish you could have been there.

#spn #destiel #nov 5th #my musings from 2 years ago #I get it now #they were gay and in love #effervescent <3 #for those confused by all the dates:#Cas was in the show seasons 4-15 (for 12 years)#the whole show. season 1-15. ran for 15 years #will i post this? probably not

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ashs-random-writing · 1 year

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Building up Burned Bridges

Chapter 7

Ao3

REBLOGS>>>LIKES

Humans are widely regarded as myths. Myths of Giant monstrous beings whose only goal is to destroy magic and all magical beings. That was a stereotype.

Janus is a human who's been in hiding, alone for seven years. He was always careful, he always protected himself, and now there was a fairy in his cave.

Logan truly wanted to know what was going through Virgil’s mind when he decided that getting closer to an aggravated monster was such a good idea.

When his friend returned back to the ledge, surprisingly completely in one piece, Logan muttered a warning to never do that again, to which Virgil simply shrugged, as if his life wasn’t one of the most important things to maintain

Logan glared, crossing his arms

“It’s simply a miracle that you’ve survived this long. I am never letting you out of my sights if we ever get out of here, and that is a promise”

Virgil rolled his eyes “Yeah, okay. I didn’t even do anything too bad, I just helped it”

Logan stammered in disbelief for a few moments

“Not too bad? You went willingly towards an aggressive animal, that was acting extra aggressively, to touch an injury it had! That is arguably more reckless than the things you berate Remus for, and you call it ‘not too bad’?” He was practically shouting at this point, and his friend at least had the decency to appear sheepish

“Alright, fine. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but it was hurt and maybe it will be more lenient now that I’ve helped it?”

Logan made a small noise of disagreement “Unlikely, but I suppose it’s metaphorically ‘worth a shot’” He smiled

The human was staring him down as if it was trying to figure out what he was saying (and wasn’t that an interesting thought? An unlikely one, but certainly interesting...).

He stared back. Goldie still hadn’t started making food, and soon, it started sleeping. Logan followed suit, and so did Virgil.

Everything went normally for the next few days, until it didn’t. Goldie was hunting, as usual. Him and Virgil were talking, waiting for their captor to get back.

And when it did, it was almost surprising. It seemed to be having trouble breathing, and Logan held Virgil back from trying to help, instead surveying the clumsily closed entrance.

They could leave. They could leave the minute the human fell asleep. He whispered his plan to his friend, and they both agreed to leave when they could. They were excited to leave, to see Remus and the rest of the village.

Goldie was asleep, they slowly flew towards the exit, finally feeling hope fluttering in their chests. And suddenly, they were free.

The sky felt strange to look at, after this long. It was almost a full moon, they flew towards the village, not giving another thought to the human, except to think about their own freedom.

It was almost sunrise by the time they got back, and people were starting to leave their houses. People kept questioning them, and Logan told the truth

There was a monster in a cave, and it was trapping people, and no one knew why. They went back to their homes, and Logan checked up on his library.

Everything was how he left it, except the mildly thick layer of dust that had accumulated over all the books. He got to dusting, until mid-morning

He walked towards Remus’s home, and knocked on the door. Remus was happy to see him, if the large hug he got subjected to was any indication

“You’re back! Finally... Do you have any idea how long you were gone? Did you find Virgil whilst you went missing?” Remus seemed to go through the entire spectrum of emotions whilst speaking, which didn’t seem too unusual for him

Logan took a moment to process what was being asked

“Uh, yeah. Virgil’s in his house right now. Apparently, he wants to sleep for at least a week straight in his own bed, but I’m fairly certain that’s a hyperbole”

They talked for a while, with him telling Remus about Goldie and how it was taking people seemingly at random. Remus suggested gathering an army to best the beast, and Logan agreed that idea would probably be the most rational course of action, even if he was at least 60% certain Remus suggested it so he’d have an excuse to try and fight a monster

By the time they gathered an army and got to the cave a few days later, with the army, it was abandoned with no human, no food, and no trace that there’d ever been anything there, other than paintings on the walls. Where it’d previously been blank on the wall next to the ledge, there was a cross

Virgil and Logan stared at it, feeling as though it was a warning of some kind

-------

Janus was screwed. Unbelievably, totally screwed. He was almost seen for the third time, whilst he was hunting. His breathing got quicker, and he ran back to the cave with his hunt, covering the entrance with the boulder quicker than he could even think.

He couldn’t think straight while he was like this, he didn’t even notice his captives staring outside. He got his breathing under control, and the first thing he thought to do was sleep. He felt drained, both mentally and physically

When he awoke with sunlight streaming onto his face, he knew he messed up big time. He checked the ledge. No magicals. His breathing got slightly more rushed

He gathered his things (not that there was much to take) and his still uncooked meat and shoved them into a carrier he had made out of animal skin. He didn’t care that it was still daylight outside, it was still sunrise, he could probably get to somewhere at least a little far away before they came to kill him.

He moved the boulder, after painting an X where the magicals were, hopefully warding them off from looking for him

He started his journey, carefully avoiding each village that riddled the woods. He kept his footsteps as quiet as possible, watching for any sign of movement near him, any potential danger or hiding spots.

He got out of the woods and carried on north, never stopping for rest and food. He could stop when he was sure he was far enough away, but for now, he had to walk. He had to ignore his exhaustion, his aching legs, his hunger and his thirst. He had to go north.

Supposedly, magicals first appeared in the north, and chased humans further and further south through hunting and settled in the very south of the land. Janus didn’t know how true that was, but there seemed to be a lot less magicals the further he got.

His mother had once told him that she had the urge to take him north as a baby, to try give him a better life than she could at that time, but was too scared of getting caught.

Janus understood what she meant. Hiding all the time was draining, but travelling was even more dangerous. Janus carried on until the moon rose, at which point he searched for adequate shelter for the night. It was almost a full moon, but he needed to keep travelling

He finally cooked his meat, and started eating, saving most of it in his bag

Hopefully, no one would find him on his journey

Taglist: @a-chilly-pepper

#giant tiny #Giant/tiny #giant janus #tiny virgil #tiny logan #sanders sides fic #sanders sides gt #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides story #angst #human janus #sanders sides g/t #Janus Sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders

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shinycreatoravenue · 1 year

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Meditations on The Blue Lantern Oath

I love the Blue Lantern Corps. I know that there have been mixed reviews of the Corps over the years from comic book fans - most of the criticisms I've seen are related to their lackluster powers (mostly that the ring can only access its coolest powers when near a Green Lantern Ring, because hope requires will to reach its full potential).

Accepting those criticisms, I'd argue that the Power of Hope is one of the most important superpowers in all the universe. Without hope, I'd argue the human person withers - whether we put our hope in a divinity, that tomorrow will be different than the darkness of today, or even in the ability for people to choose the good over the bad, people without hope enter a dark place. We need hope - and we need the Blue Lantern ring.

When I am in a dark place, where my hope is wearing thin, I like to ponder the Blue Lantern Oath - the words a ring wearer says as they charge up their ring with emotional energy. While not as profound as poetry or scriptures - it is a four stanzas written for mass market comic books - there is something valuable in considering its words, and how we can find the hope in us:

"In fearful day, in raging night" A simple admission of the condition of consciousness, at least as we understand it. There will be nights where the storms never cease, and proverbial beasts pound at the door. Nights devoid of sleep, filled with agonizing hours. And those nights are set against a daytime that is fearful - because sometimes the light of day does nothing but let us see the beasts that raged against the door. This is a shared human experience - we all experience the fearful day and the raging night. That is where the oath begins - and we need to remember that this state we find ourselves in is also a beginning of sorts.

"With strong hearts full, our souls ignite." Hope requires a strong heart. It even requires, I'd argue, a foolish heart. After all, when faced with the terrors of the universe we live in - with the ambivalent mass of Earth's natural world, the cruelty in the hearts of humans, and the fact that this awfulness is a refuge of a void that both screams and is silent - hope seems like a fool's errand. It takes strength to say to your despair and nihilism "What you say about the universe is true - but there is more than what you say." It is tremendously difficult to look at the grim darkness of the storm and say "I choose for the flickering candle to matter." But when you do, hope will change you - it will light fire your soul and will help you find meaning.

"When all seems lost in the War of Light" This one takes a little abstraction - it's specifically a reference to the events leading up to DC's Blackest Night crossover event, but it just as easily can be understood as a "war of emotions." After all, the many colored rings associated with the Green Lantern franchise are all associated to part of the "emotional spectrum." "The War of Light" is a war that we all fight within - a war of our feelings, and which ones to follow. And we all know what happens when the negative emotions are winning - that's hopelessness, "when all seems lost." Again, this is a state we can know that we all have lived through in one way or another.

"Look to the stars, for hope burns bright!" Hope calls us to look up, look out, look beyond. Hope is something we can have in ourselves, but it requires us to connect with something beyond the self. This can be divine, or it can be mundane - belief that people will choose the good, that tomorrow the darkness will look different, just as much as belief in a God who will set things to right. Hope requires us to not stay within the dark places in our hearts, but to look up - to move forward into the light.

To believe in hope. To choose for it to matter. To let it burn bright...and to let it be the superpower that saves us.

#comics #blue lantern #musings

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marizzyartz · 1 year

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Self Satisfaction: a woman's path to sexual revolution

Casual sex was a lie sold to women packaged as a path to sexual revolution. For so long women have had to advocate for themselves when it comes to bodily autonomy. In every way possible our freedom to just be has been stripped away and distorted. This has forced women into battle not only with society but with themselves. For women living in a patriarchal society, every waking day is a battle. We’re too small, too big, too loud, too proud, too “wifey, but not for right now.” And yet all of that stems from sources outside of ourselves and out of our control. At the core of what we want is exactly that: the power to control that we are surrounded by a safe environment that protects us and doesn’t leave us out to dry. To be a woman is to be a liability, and the one thing that we do have control over is our pleasure. It's our God given right to feel good.

"sexo virtual" 5x7 pen on paper -2023

What we’re not talking about enough is the whole journey to the center of the self to figure it out. Women are cerebral creatures. Our minds must be stimulated in order for the rest of our bodies to be. So even if that looks like casual sex our connections should be able to do at the minimum that: connect. Precursor:I can only speak on what I know personally and that's heteronormative and monogamous relationships [boo… tomato tomato tomato, very boring! I’m sorry]. Men aren’t getting it. We want to be explored, not exploited. Carressed not creamed pied. Rubbed on, not rabbitted. So I'm here to say that the real sexual revolution is not coming from that cutie you met the other night at the art gallery, but from the deepest, truest, most intimate depths of yourself.

Let’s be real, the culture of sex in America is still very hostile and violent. This is not a man bashing blog, or saying that all straight men act or behave in this way; but I believe that even those guys would admit they couldn’t say the same thing for all of their male peers. Men weren’t taught to respect and see women as their equal, so why would they respect and see women as their equal? They were taught to view their relationship to us as an ego trip, a possession- a prize. And although it’s great to be prized, we are asking to be seen as a human, with a whole spectrum of feelings and emotions.

Casual sex in theory is great- who doesn’t love sex? Getting to explore that with the wide variety of people on this earth is sexy and enticing. But what it’s missing is what we're all missing, intimacy, and that doesn’t always correlate with having sex. True intimacy in its purest form is a feeling of satisfaction and safety at the soul level. Sure, there are a lot of things in this world that distract us from being connected to ourselves deeply, but who knows you or your body better than you? It’s weird because when you grow up as a woman you get these very two confusing and contrasting stark reactions from the greater world: that your body is the most important thing about you and that being confident in your own skin or growing into your own, is a selfish act. When you strip away the noise, you quickly learn that it doesn’t matter what you do- there will always be critics, it’s up to you to forget all that and live for yourself. Your body is a temple but it’s also a weapon and woman, you wouldn't have been graced with the nerve cells to experience the greatest feeling in the world if you weren't supposed to.

Whether you choose to touch on yourself with yourself or with the use of toys, to do so is the most revolutionary thing you can do. You’re not waiting on someone else to save you and do it for you, or hoping that he’ll be a decent enough guy to make you cum before he rolls over. Instead you’re taking over the reigns and controlling your ability to orgasm for you. Your body isn’t for the possession of another, it’s for the full exploration of you- or you wouldn’t have come to Earth in this giant meat suit. Making yourself cum and learning what you like, where you like it and how you like it, puts you in control. Your autonomy of your body is in your hands and how special and bad ass is that? Sexual revolution for women is the ability to satisfy ourselves.

xoxo,

-M

#marizzyartz #art #artist #blackandwhiteart #drawing #latinaartist #sexualrevolution #revolucionsexual #feminism #intimacy #pleasure #joy #desire #adulttoys

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selfishwife · 1 year

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Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace

My brother B once said days are hard when you feel every emotion in 24 hours, and I'm there. The rage, the sadness, the attempts to be still and "enjoy the good moments." The need to keep my house literally in order, take care of my kids, dealing with my spouse's ping-pong emotions, working. Little victories are constatntly squashed down.

I've recently narrowed down something important -- people are petty or people are graceful. From where I sit, those are the parameters. Sure, everything is a spectrum, but the people who show up are the people who show up, and it's not always who you expect. That's a wonderful gift. Luckily your ride or dies are there, but the people who have come out of the woodwork, whether it be at work, my community, etc, has blown my mind. I don't want to seem ungrateful for it. But my heart is so full of the negative I can't seem to breathe.

In part, this is because those that don't show up also try to push you down. They tell you a story that's inappropriate, they make what's happening to my family about them. They push their pain onto you, or their desire to be "most martyred." Don't get me wrong, I don't want or need the world's sympathy, I just don't want bullshit. The pain I feel is so overwhelming that I don't have room for the stuff I can normally roll my eyes at or laugh off. It sits on top of me like a stone, resting atop the boulder that's already on my chest. It's impossible to move past the small things and paralyzes me.

Yesterday my backyard neighbor, with who up to now we've had a friendly relationship, called our town about some water seepage in their backyard. Part of it relates to us, and part of it doesn't. It's occurring behind our garage, where we can't see it. I'm neighborly to a fault, and I hate the idea of someone's home not working because of us. But they chose not to come over and tell us, and not work it out. Instead, I had a note on my front door to call the village and find out who had tattled on me. It fucking hurt my heart, and after going to talk about it the homeowner was a huge bitch. It's not worth getting into here, but the whole thing was so unnecessary.

This "tattling" has happened at my work lately too. Luckily I haven't been in the crosshairs (thank you, Cancer Card!) but some good friends have. It all stems from this idea that tattling absolves people of personal responsibility and ownership. Adults engage in dialogue, not hiding behind smokescreens of anonymous accusations. The truth gets out anyway, and then there's just awkwardness.

I guess I'm trying to say is there is no patience or grace anymore. This line comes from the Foo Fighters' song Home, and in it, my BFF Dave is trying to find his way home, despite obstacles of being on the road, etc. It's all "let's blame others, let's not look inward." I'm the first person to admit I'm not perfect. There are a zillion things I could do to be a better human being. But despite everything, I try. I try my best to listen to people. I try my best to bring things to people's attention, even when it's hard. On top of everything else, I don't want to be the punching bag for another person's insecurities. Not that anyone else does.

#foo fighters #cancer #caregiver #Spotify

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heatherjpp13 · 1 year

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Anger 👏🏻 isn’t 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 problem ‼️ We need to talk about anger. Seriously. Because we are collectively afraid of our anger. In my work & in my personal life, I notice that anger is the emotion people are most afraid to embody and express. I love embracing my anger. I’m very comfortable expressing my anger. I do it at the moment and then let it move through me and then.. guess what? I’m free of it. Anger is actionable. It’s energy-producing. It’s got passion and soul. And we all have it. The problem is that most people aren’t comfortable expressing it, or they don’t notice it when it arises. It comes out passive-aggressively for those who don’t express it properly. Because it’s there whether you want or choose to face it or not. And when you don’t face it and deal with it directly, then it becomes stored inside of you and can lead to depression (and a variety of other mental health issues). It can build and become rage.. which is terrifying. It’s far less scary to express your anger at the moment and get it out; free yourself from it, it is to fear it and avoid it for so long that it becomes something completely uncontrollable. Anger is nothing to fear. Anger leads to communicate about important issues that need to be addressed. Anger leads to change- when you realize you’re fed up with something, you have the power to change it. If you’re always acting as if nothing bothers you, well, then you can’t expect anything to change. Frustration and annoyance are subsets of anger. So if you’re noticing those feelings, those are clues you’re angry. If you’re feeling chronic tension, that can be a sign of anger. What many people don’t realize is that anger goes hand in hand with our higher emotions such as passion and excitement. If you want to feel those things, you can’t neglect the feelings at the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s all a balance, and it’s about embodying your full self and the truth of your human experience. Do you want to be happy and at peace? That will never happen by suppressing your anger (or sadness or any other emotion for that matter). Choose to feel it all or feel nothing at all. #TeamHeather (at Crystal Run Healthcare) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7V_M9JO-R/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#teamheather

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amr-hossameldin · 2 years

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Writing, happiness..and loneliness

29/10/2017

Why did I stop writing? Why aren’t thoughts occurring to me? Or rather, why have I stopped searching for them? Why am I no longer pondering? I believe this is because I’m no longer alone in my mind. I’ve met someone, and she’s with me always. The thing is, I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing. I’ve always thought my mind was my greatest quality. I feel she’s taking that from me, in the most good hearted and beautiful way. I think that’s normal too. I mean, why bother thinking about the meaning of life when you’re perfectly happy?

This little realization made me wonder, are all great writers, more or less, detached? I mean that only on a personal level. They may experience the full spectrum of human emotion much more deeply and vividly, but that’s only afforded by it not being clouded by an overwhelming flavor of happiness. And are the particularly great works a product of deeper levels of solitude? I think so..or possibly an elaborate mating ritual?

It appears my case is a classic boy meets girl, they make each other happily stupid..or is it the other way around? Oh, my bad..

Am I going to end things with her? No, I’m happy. So, is my happiness more important than keeping my intellectual façade? For the first time, I’m going to say yes.

. . .

But then again, why do I write? Alleviate boredom? Organize my thoughts? Get stuff out? True, but why write..? I mean like right here, putting it in presentable form to others. To highlight the point I’m trying to make, let me borrow a line from Sartre: ‘Would you write on a desert island? Doesn’t one always write to be read?’. So, again, if I had no hope for an audience, would I still write? Hard to say. Is it the writing itself or the knowledge (or at least the possibility) that now, these thoughts are real, tangible. These short-lived electric pulses in my mind are now as real as this paper (or screen?). My thoughts are now shared, they’re out there. If I’m not talking to an audience here, then I’m talking to an audience in my mind, through writing. That’s you, the reader, and you need not really exist right now. But you must exist, some time, for you to eventually read this. Even if I don’t intend to share, it’s now possible and that possibility is enough.

See, my question is now what if we took even that audience away, will I still write? Is writing a way to escape loneliness? Making up company and talking to them? Showing off how brilliant we are? How intelligent and above it all? The lonelier you are, the more vivid the audience becomes, and the better the literature. I’m not saying it’s pathetic or anything. I mean, think of what would happen if no one wrote. We’d still be in caves. Besides, this is a very healthy way to cope..better than drugs..I hope..? So, if you’re not lonely, there’s no longer reason to write? Certainly would write less..

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alyssathorne · 2 years

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Alyssa Thorne X S. Elizabeth

In a banner week for being able to do “pinch me I’m dreaming” jobs - I have something thing I created for a friend to show you! This was made for @ghoulnextdoor - otherwise known as author and notorious perfume sniffer, S. Elizabeth. I also know her as a pal; one whom I feel incredibly lucky to have met in this weird world. She is the most spectacular person and I could talk about her for days! But you should just get to know her yourself.

This piece was created EXCLUSIVELY for the Patreon that accompanies her incredible TikTok perfume review channel, Midnight Stinks. If you like perfume, this is THE TikTok for you. Her voice is so soothing and the descriptions of the smells are like nothing I’ve ever heard before, and are incredibly unique, transportive, and sometimes funny as heck.

For this piece, I imagined a tableau that represented the feelings I get when I watch her videos. So I present: Midnight Stinks - a fantastical, imaginary vanity table with luxuriant floral overgrowth, magically springing from the surface. A scene with shimmering bottles, gleaming jewels, yellowing old books full of notes on various scents. A table fit for a notable scent historian.

I also included a sneak peek at the book photos I shot for her upcoming book, The Art Of Darkness - it is gorgeous and you need to pre-order and see it for yourself! Pre- Order the book HERE

When I asked what she would like people to know about the book, she said

"It was conceived of at a time when "Good Vibes Only" was a big thing that influencers and wellness gurus were all espousing. And that really rubbed me the wrong way. We've since started talking about that attitude as "toxic positivity" and I was sort of thinking of this book as the antidote to aggressively good vibes, and a way to sit with distressing, uncomfortable things that don't feel good in a safe and sometimes beautiful space."

Here is a quote from the book to illustrate this (in my opinion) super refreshing perspective.

"Ever since I learned as a child that we all at some point experience unpleasant feelings or behaviors or conditions, whether that be fright or fury, melancholy or misery, sadness or sickness, I have been fascinated by how we describe and communicate these things, these darker aspects of the human condition–especially as it relates to language and visuals, and in particular the way these things are depicted in art.

We all experience darkness. We can’t avoid it, and I don’t think we should. If we’re eternally trying to live the light where it’s always bright and happy, where we ignore or evade our distressing, uncomfortable feelings, then we are starved of shadows, of nuance, and risk an existence robbed of the richness of contrast. When we only validate our positive feelings, we vastly restrict our tools for looking at the world. We are neither dealing with reality as it is nor adequately readying ourselves for the random pains and struggles that life has in store for us. We deny our inner darkness at our own peril. Because tragedies and calamities are inevitable and darkness will descend at some point in your life, no matter what sort of mindset you have. Despite what you may have heard, good things don’t only happen to good people, and bad things don’t only happen to bad people, and whatever it is, your positive or negative thoughts did not make it happen. Shit happens. Pain is pain, feelings are feelings. And as humans, for our emotional health, it is important that we experience and embody the full spectrum of feelings and emotions."

Honestly, please seek out the book if you like dark art. It's truly special.

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fictionsbypandorakiin · 2 years

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How has teasing but never following through on Dean and Castiel’s sexuality affected the fandom?

Ran across this tweet a little while ago and for some reason... ;) decided to write a short essay length response. I thought I'd share it here...

Q: How has teasing but never following through on Dean and Castiel’s sexuality affected the fandom?

A: This answer is going to take a bit to go through. These are just some anecdotal observations after having been lurking in the fandom for a year while writing a CasDean magnum opus.

The overall answer: overwhelmingly negatively.

The production company, showrunners, some cast, and crew have been gaslighting over the subject of Dean and Castiel’s dynamic for years. Gaslighting is an interpersonal dynamic most of us would never tolerate in a person-to-person relationship. Nevertheless, practically speaking, we have all “stayed” in our relationships with the show and its characters.

Anyone who has been through abuse of that nature knows how damaging and dangerous having someone mess with perceptions is—telling you you’re not seeing what you are.

Another side to gaslighting is spin. Jensen was recently guilty of this. It had to do with a comment about Cas being romantically in love with Dean but not sexually—he described Cas’ love as “a higher, heavenly love”. Whatever the f*ck that means. Cas’ character arc was ABOUT going from being incapable of emotion to being capable of the full spectrum. It was about learning to love someone in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. So, framing his ultimate confession as nothing more than romantic devalues Cas’ entire human experience. It leaves it incomplete.

Imagine how that would impact someone in real life. It would, at the very least, feel awful.

The ambiguity and unwillingness to commit to defining the sexuality of these characters has fueled a possibly endless, toxic debate over the nature of what happened. Suppose there was no question about if the answer to “is Castiel romantically and sexually attracted to Dean?” was a definite YES. If it were, we could spare one another an incredible amount of toxicity. Even I am not innocent in this.

We could have gone back to writing our fics and creating our fanart, offering it to others in the frame of mind: “I understand what happened in canon, but I like this alternative better. If you do too, please join me in appreciating this art or story.” We could’ve stuck to our “Don’t like? Don’t read” and “Live and let live” approaches. Instead, those of us who see Cas and Dean’s relationship for what it frankly was, know there’s something at stake that needs defending when it would not have otherwise.

Then there’s Dean’s side of things. I clearly remember a con clip of Jensen saying he wasn’t comfortable with (or didn’t want?) labeling of Dean’s sexuality. This is a valid perspective from the human being playing the character and should be respected. That means if he says Dean could not have responded in the affirmative at that moment, that assertion needs to be accepted.

MANY out there assert that the labeling they choose is important. Being described the way they prefer feels good, feels right. That is as true for them as being against labeling is for someone who does not want labels. Describing Cas and Dean as bi or gay when characters themselves (Cas, outright, in canon) and Jensen IRL, have declined to be labeled is a violation of the respect those same people vying for representation are demanding.

Fans, myself included, are still attacked over this. Labeling these characters commits the trespass against others that many assert they don’t want to receive themselves. This is toxic, abusive privilege at its zenith, expecting your rights to be respected while not respecting those of others. This is wrong.

Dean had a long way to go in his character/emotional development before he could have been any sort of decent partner to Cas. So, being unable to reply in the moment should stand as valid.

If we had finite answers, Jared would have had no grounds for some of his most unhelpful public comments on the matter. He could have been spared the ire of many people, and his show might have wound up in a better position in terms of public opinion and interest. It also would have meant no fuel existing for the ensuing inter-fandom toxicity.

I understand that these men have PR handlers. They have to present a company line. There are lawyers and punitive financial agreements in place.

I still contend that Misha’s homosexual description of Cas’ confession and the Misha-and-Alex panel where Alex refers to Misha’s “beautiful, throbbing intentions” concerning how he played Cas’ confession the day of filming has been my favorite moment in fandom so far. Watching someone prioritize the truth over professional and business obligations was incredibly uplifting. It was fantastic to see. It was a “faith in humanity restored” moment. I admire them both for it.

Let’s not forget Misha’s “Love is Love in any language”. Preach, angel. Preach.

Then there is the nature of Cas and Dean’s respective demises. Cas came out to the man he loved and was immediately “killed” DIRECTLY because of it. Dean, a character who has persevered for what little scraps of happiness he has in his life, if any (other than his brother), dies mundanely, still selflessly trying to clean up his abusive father’s unfinished business down to his very last breath.

That is a HORRIFIC, traumatizing message to send to bisexual and gay men. The highest rates of suicide within the LGBTQIA+ (or The Alphabet Soup Troupe, as I’ve rather lovingly come to call y’all) community lies with bisexual men (if my memory is serving me here). It is damned near unconscionable to present that to us as something to be proud of; as something the audience is expected to appreciate.

What could have been one of, if not THE single greatest love story of all time, wound up as material worthy of nothing more than that dumpster fire finale.

I have run across, somewhere in my inquisitions, the idea that the bisexual people on this planet OUTNUMBER the straight, and not by a small margin. This whole thing sends them the message: you have to keep that under your surface. It’s not welcome out in the world. If you do dare to dream of that happily ever after, THIS is the only ending you’re worthy of. The only one you’re ever gonna get. I, personally, DO NOT hold to that. GIVE YOURSELVES PERMISSION TO DREAM. Where would humanity be today if incredible minds throughout history never permitted themselves to dream? Nowhere NEAR where we are today.

There may be one upside here: this has opened the doors for much-needed discussion. It has created opportunities for people to expand their horizons and knowledge of themselves and others that would not have existed otherwise. I only discovered this ship and this show ONE YEAR ago. Its effect on me has been :wink: PROFOUND. That is an incomparably good thing, the silver lining of a very, very dark cloud.

I can only hope that anyone else who decides to go this route with queer characters remembers that Supernatural may go down in television history as possibly the single most significant missed opportunity of all time.

#supernatural #team free will #dean winchester #castiel #lgbtqia+#destiel #deancas #queer #SPN #true colors #vent post #still standing #destiel will live forever

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ignitification · 3 years

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Colour Analysis III: (LoV Series II) - Dabi

Yes, no - you don't have any hallucination. It's here. It is. And yes, it took an absurdly long time to, but it's here so mh, yeah - enjoy.

I suddenly remembered that an ask, long ago, asked me about the design pattern evident for Dabi. It's here in case you want to have a look at it.

As I stated there, Dabi is a living contradiction, especially in terms of colour theory.

His colour pattern is a chameleon of sorts: he both represents light and dark at the same time, as if he cannot decide which one to stick with. I think that this duality has all to do with his genealogy. Inheriting his mother constitution and his father's Quirk amplified, Dabi goes through an adaptation process, manifesting especially by the change in his hair's colour (same as Tomura, that is - you can find the link for his analysis at the bottom of the post). The dyeing hair is also part of the process, but this time it comes about with a voluntary part, which brings us to the point that even if not entirely, Dabi's personality is build around a feeling and a character, which he wants to express and contrast at the same time. This is why, as I already specified the most important colour when it comes to Dabi are Blue, Purple and White (with a sprinkle of Red).

I.) Royal Blue

More than any other colour, Blue is what fits Dabi the most. His eyes are blue, his fire is blue and his clothes are blue (different variation, but you get the gist).

Blue usually stands for coolness, loyalty, intelligence and responsibility. But pushing this aside for a minute, blue has a distinct effect on the human body: it lowers the heart rate and the body temperature and has a calming effect. It's a constant colour which represents the tide of waves and the never-ending blue of the sky. In respect to Dabi, it can be seen how this hardly applies - but, at the same time it does. As Dabi inherits Rei's constitution and her resistance to the cold - but his father's 'fiery' personality, his fire manifests as both. It creates a friction, until the burns on his body become an evident purple. This characteristic has a distinct connection to Red (section IV) - however, the leitmotiv is that Dabi's body is used to the effects that blue should have on him, and instead of seeing it realise they are brought down and counter-affected by Red (which is a metaphor for his entire persona).

Blue has the feature of being ever-changing, which, as you'll have understood by now, is one of many contrasts in Dabi's appearance. He indeed goes through an exterior change - but as blue, he remains steady on a path (which is revenge, and will to actually prove to Endeavour that he is not a mistake), making his character consistent with his ideas throughout the arcs and steady.

An overuse of blue is cold and impersonal - indicating the presence of deep dark secrets and having a connection with feelings of sadness and depression. It creates the pictures of someone hiding in the dark just not to reveal their secrets, and for a long time we see Dabi trying to keep a low profile and then approach with an attitude of uncaring and cold indifference. He has burned his eye glands, which should allow him to express this feelings - but they are expressed, on the contrary, in the strength of his fire, and causes old feeling to settle and burn their way through his persona.

Blue is a susceptible colour and it hurts deeply - because in the first place, people associated with blue tend to feel too deeply. This fits the pattern of Dabi's fire being conditioned by his emotions, and why likely it creates deep wounds on his body: as a remainder that his feelings, expressed through the fire are way too intense and affect Dabi deeply. Deep enough for him to survive an astonishing fire and to hide for years in wait of having the right opportunity, the perfect opportunity to actually redirect this feeling onto the subject which caused them. As the constant colour that it is, indeed, blue (and Dabi) lives in the past.

Light blue is associated with healing, understanding and softness (his eyes), while darker hues are instead expression of power and knowledge (clothes - as a reminder of adulthood).

Finally, back on the literal meaning of blue: blue is a giver in the relationships that matter, but at the same time this colour can be unfaithful and deceiving (and we saw this in his interactions with the League at first and with Hawks, too). It is associated with intelligence and and consciousness (and indeed, the one who sort of had the reigns of the Training Camp was Dabi, and furthermore he is the only one who Ujiko retained mature enough to control a High End). This encompasses his characteristics of being reliable and responsible - and of course, Dabi embodies the whole spectrum.

Also on a final, funnily enough note, blue is usually associated with voice communication and someone who needs order, and strives for perfection as well as tending to be the one to speak in public. It's idealistic and expresses a will to satisfy its higher needs - and by doing that it expresses devotion in these ideals. So if you think about how Dabi's character is focused on reforming society, and giving Stain's will freedom and realisation, Dabi comes full circle - with a devotion which makes him focused on his goals (Stain's will, reformation of society and the Endeavour' downfall) , the commitment to actual plan their perfect realisation, and the ability to achieve it through the right means (The Broadcast).

II.) Pure White

White. Integrity, purity, innocence. Mourning, for some cultures. In particular in Japan, it is used as a colour meaning death, and is used in funerals. Same as for Tomura, Dabi uses both White and Black to somehow mourn himself and his loss (Tenko for his family, Touya for the himself he leaves behind) and especially in his adulthood, the concealing of such a colour through pitch black, is not only an effort to hide his identity but also to express a refusal to be the same person. White represents a new beginning, a blank slate. And if we consider these two to be somehow related (because death is seen as not the end, but instead a new beginning) it is clear how this colour, has a relevance to this character. After Touya's death, and his white hair hidden - he becomes Dabi, who has no time to still appeal to the childish feeling of wanting to impress his father and instead throws himself onto a new chapter of his life, because the past he will always remember, has been burned.

Same as blue, white brings serenity and peace - and at the same time it represents coldness and emptiness. I think this somehow emphasises the change in colour from red to white, and the loss of believing in strength (read: Endeavour) instead leaving an empty space in his heart, filled with emotions which he cannot control. The loss of innocence and the acquisition of the fact that Touya will never be what his father wanted him to, and the acceptance of such a thing - further brings out the meaning of the colour blue. (As already stated before, white, in Dabi's case is of enormous relevance - because it amplifies its relation to blue.)

Finally, white brings forward independence and freedom - and it stands for perfection. And I think it's really ironic how white, is not only the colour he inherited from Rei - a cold stark white - but at the same time, Endeavour has tossed him aside for the same reason, and that is because in his eyes he could not be more 'wrong'. But when his hair settles into his ultimate colour of white, Touya also breaks free from his father's expectation (but does he, really?) to start instead a new chapter as Dabi. Hiding the mistake he thinks he is, an instead embraces the personality that has been thrown onto him.

White is also the symbol of truth - which is tied to the revelation that Dabi is Touya Todoroki, and his dyed black hair becomes white, again (revealing the truth of his persona).

II.I) Pitch Black

Just to be as precise as possible, I'm adding a tiny section on black, which can be summarised in two sentences: black is associated with mystery, sophistication, power and authority. It brings forward the symbol of darkness, rebellion and ultimately it stands as a synonym of death. It's a colour which, when considered in respect to white, stands for the struggle between right and wrong - good and evil. Dabi presents himself as someone mysterious, and he does not reveal his name until far down the line. But he is still a representation of power, in terms of quirk and his position both inside the LoV and the PFL. Furthermore, him covering up his hair colour with black, as already said, has to do with wanting to appear a villain more than it has to do with his identity. He wants to fade into background for a while, and then come from the darkness to sweep everyone away - covering himself in black so it sends a clear message to everyone looking at him: that he is dangerous, and that there is no escape from his evil.

III.) Daunting Purple

Now, this is a controversial section. When I first thought of Dabi, I associated him with blue more than anything else, because after all, even if purple is an ever-present colour, it is just a reminder of how dangerous his quirk is, and how his body does not fare well in the friction of his firepower and his constitution. However, I think it is still important to put things into perspective when it comes to Dabi.

It is not a surprise, that Purple comes about as a combination of Red and Blue. The eternal struggle - which comes forth into the most detrimental way possible, for him. The shade of this colour has different meanings (not surprisingly) but, as far as I am concerned, Dabi's is a 'darker purple' (which is the one we have figured in the pictures) and fulfils its duty to evoke sadness and gloom. This is just a constant reminder of his story, and also the why Dabi is not very big on concealing the scars: because he thinks of them as a fair punishment, and that they remind him constantly of what and when exactly things did go wrong. Purple is also a colour associated with royalty and people with authority. On this meaning, there might a controversial stake, because it would actually give a relevance (or positive connotation) to the colour, however, as already stated before - I think that the scars are not only a reminder for himself, but same as the conscious choice of wearing black, Dabi makes a conscious choice to reveal his burn marks and to stitch his skin with evident metal piercings. He is putting them in evidence for a reason, and I'd guess this is the same reason for why he sticks on wearing dark colours, and to due his hair black: Dabi's objective is to appear as a heartless villain, and usually the image of somehow badly injured and wearing dark clothes, as sad as this might be, projects the image of exactly someone you'd like to avoid on the street.

Purple is also the colour of 'Fall', with its fading light. I found this particularly poetic when it comes to Dabi, as Fall might as well be the eternal representation of his character, and the fact that instead Dabi's fire just grown bigger and bigger, hurting him even more in the process - is the total contrary of fading light. But on the other hand, the light of his own personality, and those emotions he keeps tucked away just tend to be fade, dwindle at every sign of possible emotional connection.

Purple promotes the balance between mind and emotions - between the spiritual and the physical world. The balance between Red (emotions) and Blue (mind), and to which Dabi is not accustomed, yet. Finally, purple - among others - is also a mourning colour (reminder that both White and Black are also mourning colours). And it also inspires mystery, which again the image Dabi likes to project about himself onto others.

IV.) Flourishing Red

Red is Dabi's curse and representation. The contrast to white, and also the exacerbation of Blue. Red is the colour that gets the blood going (or rather, in this case, 'The one that turns up the heat' and which contrasts the calming effects of Blue) and the one who expresses passion and strength (which is why Endeavour's personality colour is Red - it's not a case that Red is associated with violence, anger, blood, obsession of power and strength, danger and fiery passion).

Red is the colour which Touya denies, and that instead comes back to bite him back. Red is energising and full of spirit and passion - and the image of a young Touya, striving to get better and make his father proud comes to mind. It's prideful and full of power - the will of a child, and his enormous Quirk-power struggling to keep it in check. This is why, Red after a while fades to Blue - and burns even more than it used to. Passion felt too deep, the exploitation of power which brings destruction. An all clear sentence to actually see why Dabi ends up with denying the all-too-overwhelming presence of Red and its characteristics, opting instead for a more suited to him Blue, which is also highly contrasting to the pure anger and passion associated to Red. The fact that Touya's hair changes, is an indicator of how he negates his father's influence, but still insists on hanging on those feelings, because he cannot let go of them. A walking oxymoron.

Thank for staying all the way, and for reading.

P.S. The colour analysis featuring Izuku and Shigaraki are respectively linked.

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years

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Anonymous said: I didn’t know too much about the late British philosopher Sir Roger Scruton until I followed your superbly cultured blog. As an ivy league educated American reading your posts, I feel he is a breath of fresh air as a sane and cultured conservative intellectual. We don’t really have his kind over here where things are heavily polarized between left and right, and sadly, we are often uncivil in our discourse. Sir Roger Scruton talks a lot about beauty especially in art (as indeed you do too), so for Scruton why does beauty as an aesthetic matter in art? Why should we care?

I thank you for your very kind words about my blog which I fear is not worthy of such fulsome praise.

However one who is worthy of praise (or at least gratitude and appreciation at least) is the late Sir Roger Scruton. I have had the pleasure to have met him on a few informal occasions.

Most memorably, I once got invited to High Table dinner at Peterhouse, Cambridge, by a friend who was a junior Don there. This was just after I had finished my studies at Cambridge and rather than pursue my PhD I opted instead to join the British army as a combat pilot officer. And so I found out that Scruton was dining too. We had very pleasant drinks in the SCR before and after dinner. He was exceptionally generous and kind in his consideration of others; we all basked in the gentle warmth of his wit and wisdom.

I remember talking to him about Xanthippe, Socrate’s wife, because I had read his wickedly funny fictional satire. In the book he credits the much maligned Xanthippe with being the brains behind all of Socrates’ famous philosophical ideas (as espoused by Plato).

On other occasions I had seen Roger Scruton give the odd lecture in London or at some cultural forum.

Other than that, I’ve always admire both the man and many of his ideas from afar. I do take issue with some of his intellectual ideas which seem to be taken a tad too far (he think pre-Raphaelites were kitsch) but it’s impossible to dislike the man in person.

Indeed the Marxist philosopher G.A. Cohen reportedly once refused to teach a seminar with Scruton, although they later became very good friends. This is the gap between the personal and the public persona. In public he was reviled as hate figure by some of the more intolerant of the leftists who were trying to shut him down from speaking. But in private his academic peers, writers, and philosophers, regardless of their political beliefs, hugely respected him and took his ideas seriously - because only in private will they ever admit that much of what Scruton talks about has come to pass.

In many ways he was like C.S. Lewis - a pariah to the Oxbridge establishment. At Oxford many dons poo-pooed his children stories, and especially his Christian ideas of faith, culture, and morality, and felt he should have laid off the lay theology and stuck to his academic speciality of English Literature. But an Oxford friend, now a don, tells me that many dons read his theological works in private because much of what he wrote has become hugely relevant today.

Scruton was a man of parts, some of which seemed irreconcilable: barrister, aesthetician, distinguished professor of aesthetics. Outside of brief pit stops at Cambridge, Oxford, and St Andrews, he was mostly based out of Birkbeck College, London University, which had a tradition of a working-class intake and to whom Scruton was something of a popular figure. He was also an editor of the ultra-Conservative Salisbury Review, organist, and an enthusiastic fox hunter. In addition he wrote over 50 books on philosophy, art, music, politics, literature, culture, sexuality, and religion, as well as finding time to write novels and two operas. He was widely recognised for his services to philosophy, teaching and public education, receiving a knighthood in 2016.

He was exactly the type of polymath England didn’t know what to do with because we British do discourage such continental affectations and we prefer people to know their lane and stick to it. Above all we’re suspicious of polymaths because no one likes a show off. Scruton could be accused of a few things but he never perceived as a show off. He was a gentle, reserved, and shy man of kindly manners.

He was never politically ‘Conservative’, or tried not to be. Indeed he encouraged many to think about defining “a philosophy of conservatism” and not “a philosophy for the Conservative Party.” In defining his own thoughts, he positioned conservatism to relation to its historical rivals, liberalism and socialism. He wrote that liberalism was the product of the enlightenment, which viewed society as a contract and the state as a system for guaranteeing individual rights. While he saw socialism as the product of the industrial revolution, and an ideology which views society as an economic system and the state as a means of distributing social wealth.

Like another great English thinkers, Michael Oakeshott, he felt that conservatives leaned more towards liberalism then socialism, but argued that for conservatives, freedom should also entail responsibility, which in turn depends on public spirit and virtue. Many classical liberals would agree.

In fact, he criticised Thatcherism for “its inadequate emphasis on the civic virtues, such as self-sacrifice, duty, solidarity and service of others.” Scruton agreed with classical liberals in believing that markets are not necessarily expressions of selfishness and greed, but heavily scolded his fellow Conservatives for allowing themselves to be caricatured as leaving social problems to the market. Classical liberals could be criticised for the same neglect.

Perhaps his conservative philosophy was best summed up when he wrote “Liberals seek freedom, socialists equality, and conservatives responsibility. And, without responsibility, neither freedom nor equality have any lasting value.”

Scruton’s politics were undoubtedly linked to his philosophy, which was broadly Hegelian. He took the view that all of the most important aspects of life – truth (the perception of the world as it is), beauty (the creation and appreciation of things valued for their own sake), and self-realisation (the establishment by a person of a coherent, autonomous identity) – can be achieved only as part of a cultural community within which meaning, standards and values are validated. But he had a wide and deep understanding of the history of western philosophy as a whole, and some of his best philosophical work consisted of explaining much more clearly than is often the case how different schools of western philosophy relate to one another.

People today still forget how he was a beacon for many East European intellectuals living under Communist rule in the 1980s. Scruton was deeply attached in belonging to a network of renowned Western scholars who were helping the political opposition in Eastern Europe. Their activity began in Czechoslovakia with the Jan Hus Foundation in 1980, supported by a broad spectrum of scholars from Jacques Derrida and Juergen Habermas to Roger Scruton and David Regan. Then came Poland, Hungary and later Romania. In Poland, Scruton co-founded the Jagiellonian Trust, a small but significant organisation. The other founders and active participants were Baroness Caroline Cox, Jessica Douglas-Home, Kathy Wilkes, Agnieszka Kołakowska, Dennis O’Keeffe, Timothy Garton Ash, and others.

Scruton had a particular sympathy for Prague and the Czech society, which bore fruit in the novel, Notes from Underground, which he wrote many years later. But his involvement in East European affairs was more than an emotional attachment. He believed that Eastern Europe - despite the communist terror and aggressive social engineering - managed to preserve a sense of historical continuity and strong ties to European and national traditions, more unconscious than openly articulated, which made it even more valuable. For this reason, decades later, he warned his East European friends against joining the European Union, arguing that whatever was left of those ties will be demolished by the political and ideological bulldozer of European bureaucracy.

Anyway, digressions aside, onto to the heart of your question.

Art matters.

Let’s start from there. Regardless of your personal tastes or aesthetics as you stand before a painting, slip inside a photograph, run your hand along the length of a sculpture, or move your body to the arrangements spiraling out of the concert speakers…something very primary - and primal - is happening. And much of it sub-conscious. There’s an element of trust.

Political philosopher, Hannah Arendt, defined artworks as “thought things,” ideas given material form to inspire reflection and rumination. Dialogue. Sometimes even discomfort. Art has the ability to move us, both positively and negatively. So we know that art matters. But the question posed by modern philosophers such as Roger Scruton has been: how do we want it to affect us?

Are we happy with the direction art is taking? Namely, says, Scruton, away from seeking “higher virtues” such as beauty and craftmanship, and instead, towards novelty for novelty’s sake, provoking emotional response under the guise of socio-political discourse.

Why does beauty in art matter?

Scruton asks us to wake up and start demanding something more from art other than disposable entertainment. “Through the pursuit of beauty,” suggests Scruton, “we shape the world as our own and come to understand our nature as spiritual beings. But art has turned its back on beauty and now we are surrounded by ugliness.” The great artists of the past, says Scruton, “were painfully aware that human life was full of care and suffering, but their remedy was beauty. The beautiful work of art brings consolation in sorrow and affirmation…It shows human life to be worthwhile.” But many modern artists, argues the philosopher, have become weary of this “sacred task” and replaced it with the “randomness” of art produced merely to gain notoriety and the result has been anywhere between kitsch to ugliness that ultimately leads to inward alienation and nihilistic despair.

The best way to understand Scruton’s idea of beauty in art and why it matters is to let him speak for himself. Click below on the video and watch a BBC documentary broadcast way back in 2009 that he did precisely on this subject, why beauty matters. It will not be a wasted hour but perhaps enrich and even enlighten your perspective on the importance of beauty in art.

vimeo

So I’ll do my best to summarise the point Scruton is making in this documentary above.

Here goes.....

In his 2009 documentary “Why Beauty Matters”, Scruton argues that beauty is a universal human need that elevates us and gives meaning to life. He sees beauty as a value, as important as truth or goodness, that can offer “consolation in sorrow and affirmation in joy”, therefore showing human life to be worthwhile.

According to Scruton, beauty is being lost in our modern world, particularly in the fields of art and architecture.

I was raised in many different cultures from India, Pakistan, to China, Japan, Southern Africa, and the Middle East as well schooling in rural Britain and Switzerland. So coming home to London on frequent visits was often a confusing experience because of the mismatch of modern art and new architecture. In life and in art I have chosen to see the beauty in things, locating myself in Paris, where I am surrounded by beauty, and understand the impact it can have on the everyday.

Scruton’s disdain for modern art begins with Marcel Duchamp’s urinal. Originally a satirical piece designed to mock the world of art and the snobberies that go with it, it has come to mean that anything can be art and anyone can be an artist. A “cult of ugliness” was created where originality is placed above beauty and the idea became more important than the artwork itself. He argues that art became a joke, endorsed by critics, doing away with a need for skill, taste or creativity.

Duchamp’s argument was that the value of any object lies solely in what each individual assigns it, and thus, anything can be declared “art,” and anyone an artist.

But is there something wrong with the idea that everything is art and everyone an artist? If we celebrate the democratic ideals of all citizens being equal and therefore their input having equal value, doesn’t Duchamp’s assertion make sense?

Who’s to say, after all, what constitutes beauty?

This resonated with me in particular and brought to mind when Scruton meets the artist Michael Craig-Martin and asks him about how Duchamp’s urinal first made him feel. Martin is best known for his work “An Oak Tree” which is a glass of water on a shelf, with text beside it explaining why it is an oak tree. Martin argues that Duchamp captures the imagination and that art is an art because we think of it as such.

When I first saw “An Oak Tree” I was confused and felt perhaps I didn’t have the intellect to understand it. When I would later question it with friends who worked in the art auction and gallery world, the response was always “You just don’t get it,” which became a common defence. To me, it was reminiscent of Hans Christian Andersen’s short tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, about two weavers who promise an emperor a new suit of clothes that they say is invisible to those who are unfit for their positions, stupid or incompetent. In reality, they make no clothes at all.

Scruton argues that the consumerist culture has been the catalyst for this change in modern art. We are always being sold something, through advertisements that feed our appetite for stuff, adverts try to be brash and outrageous to catch our attention. Art mimics advertising as artists attempt to create brands, the product that they sell is themselves. The more shocking and outrageous the artwork, the more attention it receives. Scruton is particularly disturbed by Piero Manzoni’s artwork “Artist’s Shit” which consists of 90 tin cans filled with the artist’s excrement.

Moreover the true aesthetic value, the beauty, has vanished in modern works that are selling for millions of dollars. In such works, by artists like Rothko, Franz Kline, Damien Hirst, and Tracey Emin, the beauty has been replaced by discourse. The lofty ideals of beauty are replaced by a social essay, however well intentioned.

A common argument for modern art is that it is reflecting modern life in all of its disorder and ugliness. Scruton suggests that great art has always shown the real in the light of the ideal and that in doing so it is transfigured.

A great painting does not necessarily have a beautiful subject matter, but it is made beautiful through the artist’s interpretation of it. Rembrandt shows this with his portraits of crinkly old women and men or the compassion and kindness of which Velazquez paints the dwarfs in the Spanish court. Modern art often takes the literal subject matter and misses the creative act. Scruton expresses this point using the comparison of Tracey Emin’s artwork ‘My Bed’ and a painting by Delacroix of the artist’s bed.

The subject matters are the same. The unmade beds in all of their sordid disdain. Delacroix brings beauty to a thing that lacks it through the considered artistry of his interpretation and by doing so, places a blessing on his own emotional chaos. Emin shares the ugliness that the bed shows by using the literal bed. According to Emin, it is art because she says that it is so.

Philosophers argued that through the pursuit of beauty, we shape the world as our home. Traditional architecture places beauty before utility, with ornate decorative details and proportions that satisfy our need for harmony. It reminds us that we have more than just practical needs but moral and spiritual needs too. Oscar Wilde said “All art is absolutely useless,” intended as praise by placing art above utility and on a level with love, friendship, and worship. These are not necessarily useful but are needed.

We have all experienced the feeling when we see something beautiful. To be transported by beauty, from the ordinary world to, as Scruton calls it, “the illuminated sphere of contemplation.” It is as if we feel the presence of a higher world. Since the beginning of western civilisation, poets and philosophers have seen the experience of beauty as a calling to the divine.

According to Scruton, Plato described beauty as a cosmic force flowing through us in the form of sexual desire. He separated the divine from sexuality through the distinction between love and lust. To lust is to take for oneself, whereas to love is to give. Platonic love removes lust and invites us to engage with it spiritually and not physically. As Plato says, “Beauty is a visitor from another world. We can do nothing with it save contemplate its pure radiance.”

Scruton makes the prescient point that art and beauty were traditionally aligned in religious works of art. Science impacted religion and created a spiritual vacuum. People began to look to nature for beauty, and there was a shift from religious works of art to paintings of landscapes and human life.

In today’s world of art and architecture, beauty is looked upon as a thing of the past with disdain. Scruton believes his vision of beauty gives meaning to the world and saves us from meaningless routines to take us to a place of higher contemplation. In this I think Scruton encourages us not to take revenge on reality by expressing its ugliness, but to return to where the real and the ideal may still exist in harmony “consoling our sorrows and amplifying our joys.”

Scruton believes when you train any of your senses you are privy to a heightened world. The artist sees beauty everywhere and they are able to draw that beauty out to show to others. One finds the most beauty in nature, and nature the best catalyst for creativity. The Tonalist painter George Inness advised artists to paint their emotional response to their subject, so that the viewer may hope to feel it too.

It must be said that Scruton’s views regarding art and beauty are not popular with the modern art crowd and their postmodern advocates. Having written several books on aesthetics, Scruton has developed a largely metaphysical aspect to understanding standards of art and beauty.

Throughout this documentary (and indeed his many books and articles), Scruton display a bias towards ‘high’ art, evidenced by a majority of his examples as well as his dismissal of much modern art. However on everyday beauty, there is much space for Scruton to challenge his own categories and extend his discussion to include examples from popular culture, such as in music, graphic design, and film. Omitting ‘low art’ in the discussion of beauty could lead one to conclude that beauty is not there.

It is here I would part ways with Scruton. I think there is beauty to be found in so called low art of car design, popular music or cinema for example - here I’m thinking of a Ferrari 250 GTO, jazz, or the films of Bergman, Bresson, or Kurosawa (among others) come to mind. Scruton gives short thrift to such 20th century art forms which should not be discounted when we talk of beauty. It’s hard to argue with Jean-Luc Godard for instance when he once said of French film pioneering director, Robert Bresson, “He is the French cinema, as Dostoevsky is the Russian novel and Mozart is German music.”

Overall though I believe Scruton does enough to leave us to ponder ourselves on the importance of beauty in the arts and our lives, including fine arts, music, and architecture. I think he succeeds in illuminating the poverty, dehumanisation and fraud of modernist and post-modernist cynicism, reductionism and nihilism. Scruton is rightly prescient in pointing the centrality of human aspiration and the longing for truth in both life and art.

In this he is correct in showing that goodness and beauty are universal and fundamentally important; and that the value of anything is not utilitarian and without meaning (e.g., Oscar Wilde’s claim that “All art is absolutely useless.”). Human beings are not purposeless material objects for mechanistic manipulation by others, and civil society itself depends upon a cultural consensus that beauty is real and every person should be respected with compassion as having dignity and nobility with very real spiritual needs to encounter and be transformed and uplifted by beauty.

Thanks for your question.

#ask #question #sir roger scruton #scruton #art #aesthetics #beauty #architecture #music #paintings #film #cinema #personal

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2am-theswifthour · 4 years

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The 8 Theory-Folklore’s Commentary on Youth

Yesterday, I took note of @taylorswift and her careful attention to the number 8.

“Not a lot going on at the moment” had 8 words. The 8th track is “august,” which is also the 8th month in the year. She has 8 deluxe editions of her album. Many attributed this to Folklore being Taylor’s 8th album. I thought it meant either a.) we needed to pay very close attention to track #8 or b.) that 8 references infinity, a.k.a “forever and ever.”

To my surprise, I was actually selling Taylor Swift short.

When listening to the album, there’s a lot of back and forth in emotion and circumstance. I was confused about the order, especially when the strikingly sobering “hoax” followed the self-aware almost-tranquility of “peace.” Then it hit me. There are two schools of thought going on.

There are 16 tracks on Folklore (excluding the bonus track none of us have heard). 16/2=8. This means there are 2 equal emotional song threads on the album. In other words, you can get two drastically different lessons listening to each group of 8.

When you separate the even numbered tracks from the odd numbered tracks you get the following:

Odd

the 1

the last great american dynasty

my tears ricochet

seven

this is me trying

invisible string

epiphany

peace

Even

cardigan

exile

mirrorball

august

illicit affairs

mad woman

betty

hoax

Odd Interpretation:

Starting with “the 1” and “the last great american dynasty,” the lyrics are very upfront in showing that the protagonists are making fully intentioned mistakes. “the 1” says, “in my defense, I have none for never leaving well enough alone” (I see you “ME!” reference). In “the last great American dynasty” it says, “she had a marvelous time ruining everything.” These characters’ folly is their youth-induced selfishness. They’re casual in the harm they cause because they distance themselves from it. They’re fine with what they don’t look at closely. When you’re young, you make a mess of things in service of YOUR need. Your need for companionship. Your need for the thrill of danger. Your need to make your mark, to be somebody, to leave something behind. The marvel of the excitement and the chase and the very vitality of teens to 20-somethings’ shenanigans blinds us to the scale of our destruction…

…until you have no choice but to face the consequences of your recklessness.

The next track, “my tears ricochet” is not your average track 5. It functions as a pivoting point. Now our narrator is the hurt party, the one baring the brunt of callous treatment. Fickle mistreatment is no longer so casual. Now it’s a torment, and the tormentor learns the scale of their damage. So much so, that they get burned too. They learned their lesson at a terrible price, but what’s most important is that they learned.

“seven” is a long-overlooked memory revisited. In this picture of naïve innocence, the narrator tells of their childish belief in the impossible. Through magic and play pretend and fantasy they are invincible. They have all the control in the world to control the world they live in. Obviously, this is a flawed perspective that everyone eventually grows out of. Fairy tales don’t solve real problems. The point is that their sense of self-importance is in service of a stronger moral compass than the first two songs. If we accept our responsibility to others, to do what we can to ensure their welfare, are we not better and more satisfied people for it?

“this is me trying” hears that lesson and attempts to walk the walk. Part of being responsible to your fellow human is taking accountability when you fumble. The narrator doesn’t know what to say or how to make it right. What they do know is that they’re here, they’ve put the bottle down, and that they’re willing to try what’s necessary to heal what they’ve hurt.

“invisible string” gives us the reward we’ve been waiting for. The narrator says, “cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart, now I send their babies presents.” This is someone who has gone from lashing out in anger at a partner from a burned relationship to genuinely wishing them well in their next stage in life. It’s a powerful testament when you can recognize that youth drives us all to make hurtful decisions and that no one is immune to change if they truly want to change. When you let the anger and lies go, the strings that tied you to them fade away. All that’s left is the string you want to hold onto. The string tied to the one who matters, because you’ve made the conscious decision to deduce that their worth as a person should equal yours. It’s a painful path to traverse through, but when you do it’s all worthwhile. That’s why the narrator can say with confidence “hell was the journey but it brought me to heaven.”

In any other album, a song like “invisible string” would be the quintessential emotional payoff for this story arc. However, because this album is a masterpiece, we have a different payoff point in “epiphany.” “epiphany” takes us out of the world of a romantic relationship. We hear descriptions of war and nurses dealing with the despair of this international pandemic. This point in this emotional thread is that it powerfully declares it’s not enough to do no harm nor is it enough to just empathize with your romantic partner. You MUST show your responsibility to your fellow man. Stand beside them. Empathize with them. See them as whole human beings. Do good by them. In other words, it is our duty to do right by everyone, for everyone bleeds, loves, and dies.

The 8-song selection ends with “peace.” The song begins by saying that their, “coming-of-age” has come and gone.” I believe this (along with “invisible string”) to be the most overtly “Taylor Swift” track in perspective. This is her speaking as herself. She lets us know that she’s grown through taking her mistakes, and the mistakes she learned through folklore, into account. She is overly aware of her flaws and feels she pales in comparison to her partner. Rather than allow those insecurities to manifest in unchecked rage or resentment, she takes it as a challenge for herself to do better. She knows she can never give him complete peace (due to inside and outside factors), but she can make the choice to give him unselfish promises and embrace the entirety of her partner’s life. This is a person who has learned the value of selflessness in love and life, which makes this whole thread worth everything.

Even Interpretation:

“cardigan” foreshadows the eventual failure of the even path. The odd interpretation I just described culminated in the narrator finding their place with “the one” because they’ve left everything petty and casually cruel behind. In “cardigan” it says “chase two girls, lose the one.” On top of this directly referencing the first track, it also implies the partner’s self-destruction. By toying with two girls, James is losing “the one.” I don’t think losing “the one” means that you keep one of the two of them. I think it means that engaging in that kind of behavior makes you into a person that isn’t ready, or worthy, of “the one” that they are meant to be with forever. Meeting and keeping “the one” has to require each partner to love themselves and their partner wholly, truly, and selflessly. They can’t be a cardigan you pick up and only wear on the weekends. They must be a wholehearted commitment.

“exile” shows the blowout from “cardigan.” The two couldn’t stay together, and Bon Iver’s (character’s) toxicity comes out full force. He thinks her new man is lesser than him. He’s prepared to throw punches despite being at fault over a hundred times. He’s seen the film before, and he didn’t like the ending because it didn’t work out for him. He wants her under his thumb, not having learned from his prior relationships that that just can’t work. They leave out the side doors, neither fully ready to confront the problems head on.

“mirrorball” is daring in its shift of focus. While all of the tracks I’ve mentioned thus far have dealt, in some way, with the problems that result from a young person’s selfishness, this song doesn’t do that. This song illustrates an extreme that young people participate in at the opposite end of the spectrum; radical selflessness. To be selfless means that you should never allow something that harms someone else to happen just because it benefits you. Young people, girls in particular, are often groomed to interpret selflessness differently. Their definition is synonymous with accommodation. Change your looks, change your personality, don’t object, and embody what your partner wants so that they’re happy. That’s why the symbol is the mirrorball in the song. It reflects everything in the room but itself. By explicitly not factoring in their own sense of self-respect in a relationship, they are unknowingly and tragically enabling their partner’s mistreatment. To be clear, that doesn’t mean abuse is their fault if they have low self-esteem. It’s not, even remotely. But not having the capacity to defend your self-worth is what keeps so many drawn into toxic relationships there for so long. This radical selflessness manifests itself in the other woman too. In “august” it explicitly says that she was living on the, “hope of it all” and that she would cancel plans in the name of a potential hookup with someone who was never hers. The idea of radical selflessness culminates in “illicit affairs” when one of the women deals with their addictive compulsion toward someone who treats them like a cheap lay. Their relationship is a secret that leaves her feeling used in parking lots and as though any trace of her is gone. These three songs have taken the desperate hopelessness of “Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” to the extreme.

Many have speculated that “mad woman” is a commentary on the Taylor/Scooter conflict and I’m inclined to agree. However, if I were to assign an interpretation that goes with my theory, I would say that “mad woman” details the unforeseen consequences of a tormentor’s abuse. When a toxic partner performs bad behavior, their expectation is that they will always be found in the right. After all, Taylor noted on her previous album that for men, “everyone believes [them].” So in the face of lies about her character that everyone believes, she gets rightfully angry. Her anger is their affirmation. For many, a woman being angry on her own behalf is “crazy” and “irrational.” What kind of a society have we set up? A society that promotes women to lack self-worth and, should they find it, they’ll meet a whole other exile.

“betty” is our complete look into James’ perspective. On its own, it sounds like a big romantic gesture to get behind. However, this path is very clear to put “cardigan” first. “cardigan” says, “I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired and you’d be standin’ in my front porch light.” Lo and behold, in “betty” he shows up to her party when she doesn’t want to see him and asks if she would, “kiss [him] on the porch in front of all [her] stupid friends.” It’s an absolute punch in the gut. Betty knows in “cardigan” that he would come back after he had his fun with another girl, but that she would take him back when he saw momentary value in her again. James in “betty” claims he didn’t know anything, but that’s just an excuse. He knew what he was doing, he knew that he would be able to pick up her broken pieces with ease, he knew he could isolate her from her friends, and he knew that he could capture the imperfect “comfort” of that cardigan again.

This path ends in the final even-numbered song, “hoax.” In the odd numbers, “peace” shows a lesson learned. This even path shows what happens when we don’t learn. The seeds of youth-driven mistakes have led us here. The narrator wants nothing outside the pain of this faithless love. Without learning what it means to be selfless, the traumas of these young relationships create a never-ending cycle. The narrator knows that the “love” is a “hoax” but doesn’t care because that’s all they have. There’s no point to wanting anything else. Without the perspective of age, of truly going beyond that, they’re stuck in a truly dark place.

Final Thoughts:

Taylor Swift is an exceptional artist for a lot of reasons. No one makes albums this good this far into their career. Most artists teeter off after two or three because they retread. Their audience inevitably gets bored of them e same thing time and again. Repeating themselves is something that a lot of artists do because they want to go with the formula of what works. With Folklore, Taylor has done what few artists have dared to do. She’s allowed her discography as a place to uncompromisingly expand her worldview and challenge her listeners. She’s not reiterating previous lessons to make another quick sale. Instead, every album prior has been a steppingstone. As she said at the Time 100 Gala, she has truly turned her lessons into her legacy. From a variety of narrators, she has brought what I decree to be her best album to date. This wouldn’t happen for anyone else 8 albums into their career, but she’s done it by devoutly embracing age’s wisdom.

Learn from the highs and lows presented in these paths. As all good folklore does, it teaches us how to live better. It is our duty to live selflessly and with self-assured dignity. These writings, I have no doubt, will become integral to the legend that is Taylor Alison Swift.

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