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thomase1 · 1 year

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Two broken make a whole; chapter 2

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Took me long enough to update, I know. Just have not ended up the happiest with this chapter and ended up overthinking it. Sorryyy 💜

I did get some help though.

Thank you @crzyplantladyvibes for your incredible help! I dont think this would be postable if it werent for you!

Warnings: talk of past mission, talk of past injury, Tony beeing a bad teammate, humour, angsty thought and feeling from our girl. We will be starting to cut into her past.

Wordcount: ~2.300

Deviders by @harlequin-hangout

The days following Thor and Loki’s arrival were relatively quiet. You didn't see them around much and soon you had to go on another mission. It would be an easy one, just some undercover work to get data from an organization trying to bring down the whole justice system.

As is often the case, it sounded more exciting in the briefing than it actually was in the field. After hours of surveillance, you were beginning to regret the career choices which landed you here, bored as heck, sitting at a window with Clint, not that you mind missions with Clint. He is competent and pleasant, but Tony, on the other hand, that’s another story.

He was supposed to be your ride along today, but 'thankfully' Pepper broke her arm by falling down the stairs. Not that you didn't feel bad for her, but if Tony had come along, you might have broken his. On your last mission with Tony, he’d bossed you around while frolicking about in his suit, not even bothering to tell you about the group of Chitauri heading straight for you. You were left fighting 8 Chitauri, Tony's cocky remarks about your defense ringing through the comms, only stopping when you nearly got killed. He didn't just take them down and get on with it, oh no, not Ironman. He had the audacity to make a show out of it, pirouetting around and landing with a bow while you had a bullet shatter your shin. You would have killed him on the way back home if you hadn't been in so much pain, because even then he didn't stop; no, he told you it was your fault for not paying attention to your surroundings! He, who was 30 feet in the air with a perfect view of everything, told you, who was down, enclosed in the forest, you did not pay enough attention to your surroundings. After two surgeries and 5 months off missions, when you finally recovered you avoided missions with Tony.

You rested your forehead on the windowpane and groaned. After 12 uneventful hours, even Clint ran out of easy going jokes, the both of you so bored you could barely stay awake. Thankfully, around hour 15 you finally spotted your target. In a matter of minutes, the 2 of you subdued the target, used his fingerprints to access the building, hacked the mainframe, obtained some vital intel, and planted a crippling virus. One short flight later and you were back at the tower; you weren't even gone a day.

Back at the tower, you’d wandered to the common room for some water and a post-mission snack when you spotted Thor.

"Hey Thunder, you all settled in yet?". You walked up to him, giving him a small side hug.

"I am indeed. I even got a chance to talk to Jane." He smiled from cheek to cheek, and you elbowed him affectionately.

"Awesome! What did she say? Did you talk it through?"

"Yes”, he nodded enthusiastically. “She’s even letting me take her out to dinner tomorrow!"

"Daaaamn, what do you have planned?", you plopped on the couch, looking at him expectedly.

"Well, I- must admit I did not think that far ahead.", he mumbled, sitting down too.

"What? Dude, you gotta choose a restaurant at least! This is New York, all the good ones are probably booked already! What does she like?"

The chances of him getting a table at a good restaurant, in New York, on a Saturday at dinner time are slim. Even as Thor.

"Pizza! And pasta. And those little doughy triangles filled with... stuff.". He was thinking so hard you could almost see his brain spasming.

"Samosas, got it. So, Indian and Italian food. Alright. What time do you guys meet?"

"7:30." He answered and you got your phone out, already looking for restaurants. After a lot of calls, pleading and the exaggerated use of Thor's name, you got them a reservation at a highly rated Italian place. Giving him the address, you continued,

"And what will you wear?"

"I do not know. But I am guessing my usual attire is not suitable."

"No, as much as I love your Asgardian battle armor, which isn't really a date night outfit. Do you own a suit?"

"I used to, but I sold it at the charity event," he hangs his head.

"Ah, yes. Well, you need a suit. You’ll have to buy one, which, with your physique, it could be challenging to get one off the rack."

"I could ask Loki to conjure one for me."

"Oh, right, he can do that too- ok, so that's settled." Caught off guard by the mention of Loki’s name, you thought, shit, I really need to do something about this growing interest in Loki.

“Thank you for your help with the restaurant. I will go see Loki about my suit. I can’t wait to see Jane tonight.” You murmured an appropriate response of some kind, distracted by imagining Loki in a well-tailored suit. You shook your head to clear your thoughts and made your way to your room for the evening.

The next day passed slowly as you updated mission reports. Clint didn’t help with any of the documentation, but he was a pleasant distraction with his jokes and stories. You stared at your computer, bored out of your mind.

"Miss L/n, mister Odinson requests your presence in his quarters", Jarvis announced.

"Oooooh, did I miss something?" Clint teased, making a kissy face. You slapped his arm.

"No, stop it! He is taking Jane out to dinner today, I bet he wants my opinion on his suit." You got up, hearing a "Yea sure! Use protection!" behind you.

"Shut up Katniss!", you shouted back. As soon as the elevator doors opened to the living quarters, you heard shouting.

"I asked you to give me a suit! This is not a suit!", Thor shouted.

"I thought you wanted something that fits you, I gave you just that!", Loki retorted sharply. You walked faster, fearing an escalation.

"So, this is what you think of me? I look as if I've been through a cheese grater!" You heard something break which had you sprinting through the corridor.

"Stop breaking my things! I just got that table!", Loki yelled, really fired up.

"Don't act like you can't conjure another one right now!" You arrived at their sitting area and ran through to Loki’s room.

"Stop fighting guys, what's the- What the hell?", you questioned, seeing splinters of wood strewn throughout the room and Thor clothed in God-knows-what. It's just a shirt and jeans, but with more holes than fabric. You don't even know where Loki got that outfit inspo from. Half his ass is hanging out from the pants!

"Look at this abomination of attire!", Thor whines, tugging at the hem of the shirt.

"Yea that's not... Please, can you give him a suit? It's really important.", you plead with Loki. He looks so handsome with his hair freshly washed, all floofed up. You bit your lip subconsciously as you took in his forest green tunic and dark pants, which clung to him in just the right places. He follows your gaze, smirking devilishly, making you drop your eyes to the floor, cheeks heating up ferociously. Your blushing went unnoticed by Thor, but Loki had seen it and mentally cataloged it as something to explore further in the future.

"I think I can do that, Agent.", he looks at Thor and with a single hand movement and a green spark, Thor is wearing a suit. Only...it’s the ugliest suit you've ever seen. It's neon yellow with a checkered pattern and a blue dress shirt underneath; the clashing colors are awful.

"What is this yellow monstrosity?! Change it, right now!", Thor bangs his fist into the wall, putting a crater into the solid bricks.

"Hey! Stop it, you buffoon!", Loki spits, rage flaming in his features, though you wonder why he is mad. He is the one fucking around with Thor’s patience.

"Thor! Tony is gonna kill you, please, calm down. We will solve this just- please stop destroying things. And you'', you turn assertively to the angered Loki, "give him a nice suit. This is important for him; can't you just help him?"

Both of them look at you like a deer in the headlights.

"Fine.", the blonde haired god calms down, "But he will change me this instant. And properly this time.", he pouts. Loki sighs loudly.

"Alright.", he snaps his wrist again and Thor wears another suit, "Happy now?". You give Thor a once over, considering the new attire. It's a perfectly fitted, cool toned grey suit, with a light blue dress shirt and deep blue tie.

"Very nice. Blue is a good choice, goes well with his eyes. Thank you."

Thor pats himself down, feeling the fabric,

"Thank you, brother. This one is rather nice."

The raven haired god nods,

"Very well. Would you mind? I have some renovations ahead.", he gestures to the door.

You tug at Thor's arm, steering him towards the door, "Bye Loki.".

"Goodbye, Agent.", he smirks, closing the door behind you.

After that you helped Thor prepare for the date, reassuring him. You sent him to the florist across the street, telling him to get a bouquet of whatever flowers he thinks she might like. He came back with powder pink roses.

Finally back in your room, you flop onto your bed and your thoughts begin to spiral down an unwelcome path. You usually try to stay busy, but sometimes you can’t stop the questions. There is just so much about your life you don't know, don't remember. Will you ever find your story, or will you die, taking the uncertainty to the grave? You've done what you could, tracing back the steps. but it only brought you back to hydra. Going back to the hydra facility you’d called home was a bust; it was completely vacant. No traces left behind, only the card deck you and the others used to entertain yourselves with.

When it was finally time for him to go, you went over everything again, adjusting his tie and reminding him of the address to the restaurant. You've got a good feeling about this; Thor and Jane are good people. They are heroes. They deserve to be happy.

You long for more than boring missions and futile searching into your past. When will you finally allow yourself to feel loved? It’s stupid, making yourself suffer, trying to pay the price for the path left behind. You know your lonely penance won’t change a thing, but getting to live a life filled with love just feels wrong. After all you've done, it's simply not right; you don’t deserve happiness.

You wonder what happened to your few friends back at hydra. Were they killed because of you? Because you choose life? Maybe you don't want to know. The slip-n-slide of overthinking got you again and you know, if you don't get off that ride right now, you won't be able to stop for hours.

You decide to text Taylor and Kenma, your two best and only friends, outside of the tower at least. Taylor does not take long to respond but declines, saying Sean, his boyfriend, had already something planned for today. It's a common occurrence, ever since they started dating, meeting him became a rare occurrence. Sean is a horrible person, but Taylor loves him far too much. He just can't get himself to end things.

A bit later, Kenma texted back but she is at work, nightshift. Damn it.

"Jarvis, who is in the Tower right now?", you say to the ceiling.

"Mister Laufeyson is in his private rooms, Doctor Banner is in his laboratory alongside mister Stark."

"Ask Stark and Banner if it's alright if I join them, please.", you sigh.

You really hoped Nat was home, or that either Scott or Clint was here since they never fail to crack you up.

"You are welcome to join them."

"Thanks Jarvis."

In the lab, you find them bickering about technology to add to the suits of some teammates, including you. So, in the end, you put in your suggestions too, helping create them.

Yours got more protection, it's fire resistant now and has even more pockets to store little items in. And they even built in an extra one for throwing stars, your "last resort" weapon. Never used them in battle, but in an emergency they’re better than nothing.

When night fell, Tony went home, and Bruce fell asleep on a pile of fabric samples. You went back to your room. You tried to sleep, you really did, but you just couldn't. So, you ended up thinking about him. Loki. Why must that tunic of his be so tight? You saw every ridge of his abs, every line on his chest. And those pants and that smirk. Ugh, did he see me blushing?! Oh, so what if he did? And his hair, Thor must have interrupted his brother after a shower, but you are kind of grateful for it. He looked adorable with his hair all floofed up.

Do gods have bad hair days? Thor certainly does, you know that for a fact. Tony once straightened his blonde locks out while he fell asleep after a mission. Tony made sure to do an awful job. The result was a lot of yelling, gloating laughter and a broken elevator door. Ahh, fun times. If Loki has had a bad hair day, you sure haven’t seen it, at least not yet, you thought mischievously.

Everybody that wated to get tagged on tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @tessathechild @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtigger @peaches1958 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @bloodlust-princess @assemblingavengers @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @slytherclaw1227

Normal tags: @their-love @vickie5446

#loki god of mischief #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #avenger reader #tbmaw #loki fanfic #loki x y/n #loki x you #fanfic series

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phoenixstark1708 · 5 months

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the daughter of an archangel pt.3

I flew until I physically couldn’t anymore, landing somewhere near LA. I knew I was in california, but I needed to be in malibou point. I was exhausted, but I forced myself to continue. It was around an hour before I saw the building bucky was talking about; it had large windows, and was positioned on the side of a cliff. I decended quickly, crashing on a balcony. I heard a robotic male voice say “mr.stark, there is an unknown human female on the balcony; proceed with caution.” I tensed up, ready to be punished. A man walked out of the house with a gun pointed directly at me “who are you?!” he demanded “whats your name!? Answer me!” I was still laying crumpled on the deck “i- my name is ph-phe-” I passed out before I could finish.

I woke up chained to a hospital bed that was oddly comfortable, I was used to a stone floor though, so my standards werent high. A nurse saw I was awake, and walked out of the room. The man walked back in with a police officer “who are you kid?” the man questioned “my name is phoenix.” I responded “who are your parents?” the officer asked “i- I don’t ha-” the man cut me off “i am. Im her father, you cant kick her out if she has a guardian.” the officer looked at the man quizically “okay mr.stark. I think my work is done then. If you know who she is… jane doe is phoenix stark.. Got it!” the cop walked away. “why did you say that? Youre not my father, I don’t have a father.” the man sat down next to me “How old are you, kid?” he ignored my question. “what is the year?” “its 2010.” “then I am 14.” I said, surprised at how old I was. A doctor walked in, and spoke to the man “she is severely malnourished, she is very underweight, and has several untreated infections. It seems her bones have been broken and set many times, and her body is covered in scars, its honestly a shock that she is still alive.” I was vaguely listening to him. “should we get her food?” “not yet, I don’t know how her body would react. It seems she has been without food for days, if not weeks. I'll start an IV with what she needs, and we’ll go from there.” with that, the doctor left the room, leaving me with the man “im tony. Tony stark. What happened to you?” he asked “i escaped. I couldn’t take the punishments, sir.” I avoided eye contact, something I was trained to do. “you don’t have to call me sir, you can call me tony.” “okay… tony” “and you can make eye contact, kid.” I looked in his eyes, and recognised the same emotion that bucky had in his eyes the night we met, but it was different. “who did you escape from?” he asked gently “h-hydra” I winced just saying the name. Tony's eyes nearly jumped out of his skull “HYDRA?!” I shied back, hearing the anger in his voice “so theyre taking kids now!” I was confused “they didn’t take me, they created me. Im nothing but a freak grown in a test tube.” I began to tear up, recalling all the times I was told that. “hey, youre not a freak. Having wings if fricking awesome, kid.” I laughed, enjoying the light-hearted nature of the conversation. The doctor walked in with an IV bag, and inserted the needle into my skin. I didn’t even flinch, hell I barely even felt it.

I was admitted to the hospital and stayed there for around 5 days. Tony was very busy and only visited once a day, and sometimes he didn’t. I didn’t mind, I was enjoying the rest, and the food. The food was the best I'd ever tasted. At first, I was put on a liquid diet which consisted of broth, juice, and ice. I didn’t care, it was incredible. After the first 2 days, I was given the option of solid food, so I tried all the things that I'd never even dreamed of trying. I had a grilled cheese sandwich, and potato chips! It was incredible! I had never felt so lucky. I spoke to tony about the HYDRA base, but when they got there, it was empty. The only thing they found was a small note carved into the wall, it read “live your life, dove.” I felt incredibly terrible, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to find him. I had no doubt they put him back on the ice. When I was discharged from the hospital, tony took me to the house that I crash-landed on. I was greeted by a beautiful and kind red-headed woman named pepper, and a grumpy man called happy. I giggled at the irony.

I was shown to a room that was much larger than my cell. It had a big, soft thing in the middle that I learned was called a ‘bed’. I was given a change of clothes, that were just my size. So I stripped out of the hospital gown to change “woah! Hey, kid you can close the door” tony averted his eyes and closed it. It felt very strange to have privacy. I laid down on the bed and relaxed. Im pretty sure I slept for a week. I was woken up by pepper coming into my room “hey, good morning honey! I brought you some food.” I ate quietly, and she sat on the bed “how are you doing?” I was definitely not used to people caring about me. “good” I mumbled, instantly flinching, expecting to be hit. No blow came. “youre safe sweetheart. No one is going to hurt you here.” I looked up at her, greeted with sympathy-filled eyes. “i have someone I want you to talk to. Its someone with a school, we should know where youre at. Are you okay to meet with him?” I nodded, completely oblivious as to what in the world ‘school’ was.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #female reader #smut #avengers #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #catws #dom!reader #marvel mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel movies #avengers infinity war #the avengers #marvel comics

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schizopositivity · 1 year

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Have you read "The Quiet Room - a Journey Out of the Torment of Madness" by Lori Schiller? I just finished it its a really good memoir of someone w/ schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type)

I liked it a lot bc it was brutally honest about a whole lot of things. Hospitalizations and medical abuse/the generally awful parts about them, drug abuse, suicide attempts, and having to deal with the awful stigma and misinfo around the disorder. (i guess this also doubles as a trigger warning for those topics so i should also add a tw for SA and of course paranoia + unreality while im at it)

There were also chapters written by her family/friends/doctors sprinkled in there too and i really enjoyed them bc it lets it capture both how it affects the person and how it affects their family without making it seem like it's harder on the family than it is for the actual person suffering from the illness. Those chapters also didnt sugarcoat their feelings and werent afraid to say some hurtful things but i think thats a really important part of the book.

I would def recommend it as media about sz/sza. Honestly glad i read it because media about sz spec stuff can be like russian roulette sometimes but this one was honest, respectful, and refreshing about it and ended on a hopeful note abt recovery.

I haven't read it but that sounds awesome! I'll post it so other people can see it.

Sadly I am really bad at reading books :( I have two forms of dyslexia (the kind that switches letters and the kind that makes lines of text overlap so it's nearly impossible to read) and also my schizophrenia really impacts my ability to focus and retain the information that I read. Honestly just reading paragraphs like this ask is a struggle and takes me longer than most other people. And audiobooks are still difficult because of the focus and information retention thing.

That aside I am always happy to hear that schizophrenia/schizoaffetive memoirs exist. They are often buried under hundreds of books written by nonschizophrenics, so thank you for bringing this to my attention I really appreciate it.

#schizoaffective disorder #schizoaffective bipolar type #schizoaffective bipolar #schizophrenia #schizospec #mental illness #answered #nd #schizophrenic #neurodivergent #psychosis #actuallyschizophrenic #pseriouslypsychotic

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ahiijny · 1 year

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glass onion spoilers

ok this movie was fun, but it fell a bit short of expectations 😅 y'all hyped this up a bit too much (note: i did not watch the other knives out movie yet so maybe im missing out on some context)

I thought this was going to be this awesome keikaku murder mystery with this likeable queer and fruity detective guy where everyone rips down the curtain of lies set up by this tech billionaire and it is revealed mr. miles rich guy actually has no idea what he's doing and all of his accomplishments were stolen from other people

I guess we kinda get that in a sense, but I guess reality just outdid fiction this time if you know what I mean... so it wasnt nearly as satisfying

I guess that's kind of the point of this movie, as benoit himself points out: it looks complicated, but it's actually not. (and thats why he had so much trouble solving the mystery, bc hes not good at solving dumb puzzles, only clever ones lol) but that still doesnt make it satisfying.

anyway, my thoughts about the movie!

the masking and covid callbacks remember those ah memoriesssss (man)

ok but if this entire movie were about this scientist guy trying to do science engineering work while pushing back against unrealistic expectations from overzealous entrepreneurs/business ppl i would watch that...

i liked the part where the lady was like "you've got to stay off the twitter" to the other lady, this is relatable and realistic and a good message

puzzles are fun. i liked the peoples working together to solve the puzzles. if this entire movie were about a diverse group of friends solving puzzles in a collaborative way i would watch that...

shoutout to manosphere guy's mom she dont give af but she's hella clever, she's solving these puzzles and she doesn't even care lol

(also dude be more respectful to your mom. doesnt matter if ur streaming, ppl will understand if u have to take a brief interruption to answer to something. if they dont understand, u do not want them watching ur stream)

benoit amogus (this is probably pandering but i am the target audience so i will accept the pandering. if this entire movie were just benoit and his friends/colleagues playing among us i would watch that...)

the way the ppl all have their different attitudes towards masking strictness and runs the full gamut, that's just really interesting to analyze. i saw the tumblr post about this and i thought benoit was actually going to narrate these observations and it wouldve been really impressive 😅 I guess it's actually more subtle than that...

ok but what IS that spray. how does it work. i know u dont have to explain EVERYTHING in a story but the nerd in me wants to know pls pls pls (does it even work lol)

"piece of shit" hehehehe

benoit very charming and there was some awkward tension in the air bc everyone else is tightly knit and he's a newcomer but he talks through it easily enough so my feelings of social anxiety werent too bad in these scenes lol

everyone talking and socializing (ergh) and dropping various bits of information and im like 'i dont even remember their NAMES im definitely not gonna remember all these little factoids which are sure to be relevant later lol' (help)

the part where benoit is sneaking around and spying on ppl, i feel like maybe they could have leaned even more into the comedy here if they wanted to. like. they have manosphere guy spying on miles rich guy and other lady doing the sussy and he clenches his fists in anger but later it's revealed actualyl she is trying to persuade miles rich guy to put manosphere guy on his news thingy or something but miels was refusing so actually manosphere guy was clenching his fist in anger because of that and benoit was behind the bushes watching the whole thing but also helen was behind both of them watching the whole thing as well

i know it probably makes cinematic sense for them to do this, but i wish helen and benoit had been a bit quieter/vague about their discussions bc i was in constant fear that they would be overheard and someone would be like "hey why is your accent different" bc as the previous scenes have shown, eavesdropping people and recording devices are EVERYWHERE (god)

and as modern technology and even death note potato chips scene have taught me. why would you ever NOT assume that your rooms are not bugged. like. recording devices are cheap and tiny. and you're in a rich guy's mansion that he had built for himself and he has a huge ego and doesnt care about other peoples agency. I would be paranoid that there would be hidden cameras and microphones everywhere (dsfosdfjsoijfds)

the part where benoit explained away the entire mystery that miles had someone else write up for him was fun, if the entire movie were just ppl chucking mystery puzzles at the guy and him just explaining everything i would watch that...

tho eq-wise this was a bit like if you're the best tetris player in the world and you enter the lobby of some very casual player and their friends and no one is playing faster than 0.5pps and then you demolish everyone at 5pps with ms2 dpc loop and then the streamer is like "well I guess this isnt our stream anymore it's theirs" that's a bit bm... (we actually kinda do have this problem in the tetrio community and someone even made a video about it)

social anxiety DID HE JUST COMMIT A FAUX-PAS BY BEING TOO OP i do appreciate that he commented on doing it intentionally afterwards (ok so he's aware) bc he was concerned someone would try to actually kill miles

when the pretty dress lady was spinning around and was like "look at me!" i was like 'ok this is obviously a distraction and somehting sneaky is going to happen' but it was too flashy and distracting so i didnt notice anything lol ^_^;;

my first thought was that someone tried to poison miles and poisoned manosphere guy by accident, so when ppl went to their initial conclusions i was like ok that makes sense

okokokookok the flashback

initially i was sus of helen's story. i thought she was andi, but pretending to be a nonexistant twin sister for some reason. her story seemed a bit too clean. like. maybe she fabricated this murder mystery to pique the interest of the best detective in the world to help her with her task, since maybe he wouldn't be interested otherwise. and then benoit would poke some holes in her story and then she would reveal that actually the story was a fabrication but she was desperate and benoit would have some sympathy and would help her out regardless

the movie went on for a while before i was like. 'oh ok, the other shoe isn't dropping... she really is who she says she is??'

(you have to understand my experience in these kind of genres involve ppl like L and Naomi Misora and Junko Enoshima and Celeste Ludenberg its RARE for characters to actually just have been telling the truth the entire time so you have to understand why i was doubtful >_<;;)

i was expecting one of the others to have reset the box and sent it to benoit and then he solved the puzzles and went to the island but no the box benoit received was the one helen smashed to bits lmaoooooo. benoit is so smooth i completely fell for that.

i like all the parts where benoit was like "elementary child puzzles" or something and it made miles look kinda annoyed hehe

ok the false memory thing DOES happen, it's true! when he said it, everyone remembered differently. memory is notoriously unreliable. this is true

ok i know barely anything about business or law but i feel like theres so much more andi couldve done to protect her ownership of the company. like. documentation/photographs of the napkin? patents? on the other hand, as recent events have shown, it is also notoriously easy for a charming guy with money to completely sway public opinion with a strong enough propaganda machine so i guess fair enough...

also i feel like that conversation kinda escalated a bit too quickly. "hey i have new idea KLEAN will energy the world poggers" "no it too dangerous it will blow up the world" "no c'mon" "i will BISECT THIS COMPANY"

like. hindsight is 2020 but. give toddler something to play with rather than taking it away altogether. right?...

also i feel like my watching of medical jdramas has skewed my view of what is realistic, but. i feel like everyone gave up a bit TOO easily after manosphere guy stopped breathing. no one even attempted CPR? does no one have like. epipens or something (idk how pineapple allergies work)

also that little hint at the beginning slipped by me. i thought he just didnt like the taste of pineapples lol (relatable), didnt know that he was actually allergic

the dietary restrictions thing in the invite was actually kinda considerate of miles rich guy tho. i mean, u know, aside from the fact that he exploited this very thing to murder his dear friend

also do the police not have. helicopters

whys it gotta be boats

continued bc apparently 4096 character limit per text block

maybe they shouldve added like a thunderstorm or something. or a cut to the police station where they're like "it's that guy again (ugh), let's deal with this in the morning..."

i am happy helen survived tho. guns scary... especially when they are pointed at you lol

NOT THE HOT SAUCE IN THE NOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this legit was one of the most stressful scenes in the movie lol

i get so stressed anytime there's clearly an actor playing a dead body in a movie bc then im imagining the actor having to lie still without moving or breathing at all and that just makes me anxious lol

ok but why did andi even NEED this dude, she shouldve just made alpha or whatever on her own. unless it's maybe just the. stereotypical white, charismatic figurehead to appease the investors maybe. idk

benoit getting mad at miles rich guy for stealing his murder mystery ideas is the funniest thing

but also i know this is a movie but girl why would you bring out the napkin. just hide it, get off the island, and show it! or at least make a few decoys! take pictuers at least?? whyd u let yourself get outwitted by miles rich guy this is so sad

the smashing glass thing is cathartic but i was also cringing bc all that flying sharp glass in the air and floor does NOT look safe. and also who's gonna clean it up afterwards you're making more work for the poor staff of this resort place :c

also. do u have a death wish. why would you throw that in there when you are THERE in the room. headlines: MILES BRON AND OTHERS DIE IN EXPLOSION ON PRIVATE ISLAND RESORT (ONLY SURVIVORS ARE WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE AND SOME GUY) idk

while the mona lisa burning is funny and LONG expected since the protection barrier thing was introduced and IS probably not the real one since something about wood panel vs. canvas. i just. do not like destroying art man. tho i probably dont care as much bc it is something coveted by rich people. but still.

also imo this isn't the slam dunk they think it is bc if miles rich guy WERE smart, there's a billion ways he could spin this to his favour

it's pretty much his word against theirs but if he uses his money wisely he can easily drum up propaganda support for this, even if his former friends turned against him

e.g. "ex-Alpha founder who never contributed anything and was actually a leech (true story) throw a tantrum on island resort and used bottle rockets/dynamite/whatever other flammable things there are that DEFINITELY arent Klean to destroy PRICELESS work of art'

wait he killed andi, that wont work

'twin sister of ex-Alpha founder who in an irrational, bereaved fit of rage, destroys PRICELESS work of at'

there we go (miles huffs proudly as if he thought of this idea himself and definitely not as if one of the propaganda firms he hired thought it up for him)

ok but who is that other guy. what is his story. why is he on the island

also, helen girlboss destroying his stuff is satisfying but imo not nearly as satisfying as miles rich guy just destroying his OWN stuff just from sheer incompetence

right now he can escape into the mental copespace of "that woman destroyed my (yes definitely my) lifes work, i will have my revenge". i am worried, bc as recent events have shown, it IS possible, even if you are confirmed guilty, to just skedaddle on out of prison, because of technicalities or whatever

and he will probably still have his diehard fans on his side

the future worries me

sdifgos jsgiojf gdoisdgjdiogj

so in the end, i guess. not really satisfying in the sense of a keikaku whodunnit, and I didnt really vibe with many of the characters either, except for benoit, and manosphere guy's mom, and benoit's... husband? (idk who he is but he seems chill), and helen is neat too but i feel like her characterization was a bit too infodump/exposition heavy

i guess if i look at it more in the lens of a social commentary comedy rather than a murder mystery itd be more up to expectations. but still. not really my cup of tea i guess

7.4/10

#glass onion #ahi's ramblings #my subjective opinion #unhinged 4am thoughts

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michithing · 9 months

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A slight ramble, by me:

I like it when artists share their art-making process. Be it a speed paint or whatever else, talking about how someone made something they care about. Just hearing/seeing the thoughts that went into a piece of art is so awesome! Doesnt matter if the reason for a decision made is like "idk thought itd be sick af :DD" or "it took me years to come up with this technique". Reading others ppls thinking processes and then seeing the results of it is so sick af :DD!!!!!!

A bit of time ago i was, due to an event, surrounded by a bunch of art students who had to present the result of their projects. Man, that was so cool! Seeing all of the works theyve made and spent probably so much time on. Seeing the faces behind the art, and in some cases being able to ask them about it, or just being able to complement it.

seriously such a cool experience.

i think about the stuff i make too, but dont think there is much to be said about it all. though i would like to try and make art that also shows the process behind it.

old and buggy video games kinda hold that sentiment (be it on purpose or not). being able to see the literal strings holding it all together, because yes, real human people worked on this and tried their best but were on a time limit or werent as taught in coding/ 3d modeling/ animation/ .../

i have a nearly full book of old sketches and doodles from over the past 2 years. i would like to dedicate something to that, as they show me growing in more ways than just them art skillz. maybe a video? with some more visuals? and maybe some audio or music stuff since i on occasion try around with that stuff nowadays too? who knows.

but creating stuff that shows the me behind it all. that would be swag. spellt with $.

$wag

ok ramblings over, whats up with this guy?:

#ramble #thing i was thinking about more than once surely #just never thought to write it down #art #hope someone shares this sentiment? or understands what i wrote at all #sorry for bad english #8)

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om-headcanon · 4 years

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☆ mc catching the obey me brothers crying

i believe its fair to assume mc has seen at least one of the boys cry. here is what i believe happened. (if you want me to do undateables, let me know! tw for low self worth, panic attacks, and survivors guilt/death mentions)

lucifer

without a doubt the most embarassed to be caught crying

he had just gotten into an argument with diavolo, and he questions his importance in diavolos life

he goes into the study to get some extra work done late at night to reassure himself he is useful

with all of the stress from the situation at hand and some stress from supporting the family on his back, he cant help but shed a few tears

all he wants to do is keep those around him happy and healthy... and it tears him apart when he cant

if i cant make the ones i love happy then... what can i do...

he doesnt notice your presence, as he has hands over his eyes and is breathing slowly in order to relax himself

you call out his name softly to get his attention

lucy jumps and tries wiping his eyes and playing it off as if he was never crying

you walk closer to him and he keeps inquiring if theres anything you need

you dont say anything, you just place your arms around him and hold him in a tight embrace

and he starts crying again on your shoulder... harder, this time. holding you tighter and closer in the embrace

because of his pride, its hard for him to admit what he needs the most: someone to show they care for him

mammon

mammon is the type to not cry often but when he does, its a lot

while his brothers dont really have bad intentions, the daily degradation they execute against mammon really gets to him

he can only put up his confident front for so long, and not long after a fight with asmo, it recedes

he lay on his bed sobbing heavily into a pillow to muffle the sound for nearly a full hour

his mind cant help but insist all the words his siblings tell him are true... and he wishes more than anything that you were there to tell him they werent

he looks up to the door every once in a while with blurry vision, mind convincing him theyre at the door, but you not being there makes him cry even harder

maybe they just think the same as the rest of my brothers

he hears the doorknob, but convinces himself its his mind again. ironically enough, this makes him cry even harder

except its actually you this time

you run over to his bed to sit down next to him and rub his back reassuringly, asking if hes alright

he jolts up, shocked youre actually here. he closes his mind and smiles sadly with a tear stained face

he pulls you into an embrace and whispers a soft thank you... your presence helps him more than you will ever know

you hold him for a few minutes and tell him how awesome the Great Mammon really is

leviathan

its been a long stressful day at rad, and he cant help but overthink every single action he has made

every single glance hes made, every single word hes said ... just everything

most days he would resort to playing a game or watching an anime he loves in attempt to distract himself, but other days its not that easy

he starts spiraling, thinking of not only everything hes done that day, but actions hes done in the past too

eventually hes past the point of no return, and starts having a panic attack

levi cant seem to catch his breath and with the thoughts still rushing through his head at full speed, he cant attempt to calm himself down

he envies those who dont feel the way he does right now because god, what he would do to not feel like this

you were just wondering why your gaming buddy hasnt come looking for you so naturally, you go to him

you knock on his door waiting for him to ask you for the entry code... but theres no response

you enter and are quite shocked to see levi shaking on his bed

this is familiar to you... whether youve had to guide a friend through a panic attack or have been through one yourself, you know what to do

you reassure him this will all pass and knowing how hard school is for him, you tell him he did well today

you get him to regulate his breathing and gain some composure

hes embarassed you had to see him like that... but he lets you know hes so thankful that you came to help him

satan

he just wants to be his own person but with how his life was set for him, its almost as if thats a tall order

its very rare he cries from happiness or anything like that, but sometimes he gets so sad that he gets angry... and then he cries a lot

no one dares to go near him like that

and that hurts him too... that nobody could or would ever dare to console him because they fear what hed do to them

he acknowledges this is a justified fear as he is after all the representation of wrath itself, but it still hurts nonetheless

belphie decided to poke fun and tease satan reminding him of how hes lucifers shadow

he didnt take it well... and retreated to his room to handle his emotions

he knew his family didnt want anything to do with him while he was angry... and that made him feel like a burden

but he grew used to everyone expecting he handle his emotions himself even if every once in a while he desired some reassurance

satan sat in a corner of his room crying to himself waiting for this to pass because he didnt believe anyone else would care to check on him

but you were curious as to why he wasnt in his usual 4 pm reading spot, so you decided to check his room

he was just sat completely still staring into the distance while tears fell down his face

he didnt even notice your presence until you sat down next to him

you didnt want to pry, so you just asked if he wanted to talk about it

he shook his head, laid on your shoulder, and just said “this is all i need”

asmodeus

ahh... while self love is so easy for him, self value isnt

its easy for him to believe people want to be around him solely with lustful intent rather than because they genuinely love him

he doesnt really believe anyone could ever love him

so he overcompensates through self love because he believes hes the only person who could ever love him

hes great at hiding it but sometimes, this gets to him... especially after some quick encounters with others at the fall

he thinks maybe there is no depth to him.. maybe i really am just a pretty face and nothing else

asmo cries pretty often, but he only lets people see him cry when its over something material (ie, he couldnt get a new bag hes been wanting for weeks)

he cries quietly too in effort to make sure nobody sees him

he seemed to have forgetten that you two were planning to go shopping today so you went to his room to see if he was ready

you werent expecting to see him rolled over in bed softly crying to himself

you startled him when you said his name

“oh, mc, i didnt see you there!” he chuckles lightly to himself in effort to change the mood of the atmosphere as he wipes his eyes

you ask if hes okay and his sad smile falls slightly

he asks you if you genuinely think he could ever be lovable

your heart breaks a little knowing that he even has a moment of self doubt, but you reassure him that hes a lovable person inside and out

you hug him tightly while another tear falls down his face

you two decide shopping is best for another day... for now, you just want to talk and do facials

beelzebub

beel loves his family a lot

more than he loves food (also a lot)

he hates conflict between them and would do absolutely anything to avoid it

what he hates the most about himself is how hungry he gets... hes aware its poorly timed but theres really nothing he can do about it

but the feeling hes being an inconvenience to those he loves hurts him

beel is great at smiling as often as possible, but if theres any tension between the family, he wont stop crying until its resolved

once he was so hungry it wasnt possible to control himself and he ended up going on a rampage

he earned scolds from lucifer, mammon, and satan for this

it tore him apart knowing that he had caused his family trouble for even a second and he started crying because of the guilt

he couldnt even find enough energy to make it back to his room, so he just sat in the kitchen with tears on his face

you had decided to go to the kitchen to get a snack when you saw him

he apologized for being in the kitchen and offered to move if you wanted his seat, but you declined

beel didnt even bother wiping the tears from his eyes... he wore them like they were a punishment for his own behavior

when you asked him what was wrong, all he said was that he was a bad brother

you tried to tell him otherwise, but then he went into detail about the situation and how all he does is cause the family distress

you told him that isnt true at all and he continues to bring light and happiness to all those around him

hearing that his brothers will come around and know he meant no harm is all he needed to hear

“thank you, mc... i feel less hungry when im with you”

belphie

he has lots of survivors guilt

its been millenia but he still wishes that it was him instead of lilith

because of this he cries quite often, but never in front of anyone other than beel

this feeling that lilith and him should have traded places haunts him often, and its not always so easy to sleep it off

as fore mentioned, he usually finds comfort in talking to his older twin but beel isnt always there

beel was at one of his clubs at rad and belphie didnt want to bother him, but he really did need someone right now

unlike his older brothers, belphie actually makes an effort to find you

he doesnt find you in your room nor the kitchen, so he continues to search around the house in hopes youre around here somewhere

he happens to find you by yourself in the study on your d.d.d.

belphie feels bad bothering you, and enters the room quite quietly

“mc, can we talk?”

he sits down next to you and lays his head on your shoulder

contrary to what he stated he wanted, not much talking is being done

he just lies there quietly crying with no explanation why

he realises he may not be as ready to talk about it as he thought... but thats okay

you tell him that youre going to listen whenever hes ready to talk about it

that makes him feel a lot better

he falls asleep right there with a thankful smile placed on his face

#satans was lowk the hardest to write #i hope i wrote them all well tho >:#also some of these are .. quite long o_o #my apologies #obey me headcanon #obey me #belphie headcanon #beel headcanon #satan headcanon #mammon headcanon #lucifer headcanon #levi headcanon #asmo headcanon

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36incheshigh · 4 years

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haunting of bly manor on netflix review -

i tried not to put big spoilers in it. its about like.. a lady from america who becomes a live in nanny to two young siblings, in a big old mysterious? house in england.

overall - 8 /10 , maybe im just biased cause it had some of my fav parts of scary movies in it/personal fav parts of genres

[cons] -personally - i dont like when supposedly scary movies are about ppl dying sadly/theres characters who are actually nice who you actually get attached to and thenn, they suffer! (although technically i guesss that is what causes “haunting”, in its title. its like, im looking for a Scary which is secretly supposed to be found to be scary[-fun], not scary-Sad!. sad deaths/characters make me sad. like when cute kids in it are also sad and upset and they surely dont deserve it :p. bums me out. i guess i dont mind so much, if, -if youre gonna have to harm someone, that id rather theyre someone im not so attached to in the first place lols. id rather not feel sentimental whilee watching a movie thats also scary lols. too many feelings at once for me lols . also, i appreciate a movie tryingg to explain things well or make it interesting, but sometimes it cann get too complicated . thats where ya lose me. [thats kinda not that personal that can also be a critique in genderal.] its like if you keep it clear enough even if its simple, it could be a better story.

pros objectively - good characters, and gd chemistry between characters - they were all pretty distinct and interesting enough, had their own styles and mannerisms and personality. gd dialogue - relateable enough and realistic enough - heh ilke when the gardener tries to cheer the nanny up, that was like kind of a well thought out specific unique and still funny joke lols. or when the nanny uses her teacher-voice to say relateable things to the kids or to discipline them well and properly and fairly/justly and calmly - those were awesome and accurate like real life, very familiar in a specific, recognizable way. nicely done visually/cinematically - made everything look good, didnt make anything too confusing, clear enough. like it let us explore all the interesting places and no scenes were too dark to see whats going on or anything lols. which is good because sometimes a show takes place in what lookss like wouldd be an interesting setting, but we never really get to use the space much or see its details [well], or look at any of the cool parts about it, very well! plot was good - got stuck a couple times in a few ways, but atleast it did have good closure. thats hard to nail in spooky/scary stories. its also good that there was diversity representation in the characters’ races and kinds of romances so thats always important to diversify in the media so people arent ignorant and plus its less predictable and ^realistic.

cons objectively- really lost me in the episodes w hopping and flashbacks a lot, even though i guess it explained a few things. idk i think we couldve done without the entire dream bit cause it went over my head and i dont see thatt well how it fits with the rest of things very much anyway. i think it couldvee stuck with just the first owner’s story which seems to explain most of the mysteries anyway, and still be a great plot overall. also its not much of a big deal but in the end, that was supposed to be whats her name, the gardener but she wasnt even consistant in her style it was so out of character. like whats that hair style?? its too modern and boring/basic-betch , shes a chill, grounded, rough person so i think she shouldve kinda had a softer wavier hair style at least like she usually had . doesnt have to be the same, but atleast better match her character. i guess there were a few kind of minor plot pieces that i didnt hear/understand their explaination . but maybe if i thought about it more, or figure that those were just idk symbolic details or something lols, then id get it. -atleast the most important plot points have been explained. or if they kept the confusing plotline to help explain things, i wish they couldve made it a bit simpler to be more understandable . aint nobody tryina think that hard about it to understand things in a show ha . idk i think the wind up leading to the end , through the middle of the last episode when we werent sure if the girl was doomed yet or not [is that what it was that dragged on for me?] , dragged on a bit too somehow. or i wouldve been happy too if it ended like 10 minutes into the last episode when everything was at peace, even though thats too peaceful of an ending for a spooky story lols. also the bride in the beginning and ending who hears the story is a kind of bad actress or has awkward lines so it makes things corny lols. which its hard to not cross that line in spooky stories, from believeable and relateable and genuine enoughh to spook ya cause its barely believeable/relateable, - into corny.

pros personally- love big old gothic houses, theyve got character. love love stories, and mixing genres in a show or movie! like love, sad, and spooky. love it being more spooky and a thinker kinda rather than gory which could always be too easy of a scare. and lots of botony heh [in the romance] which i always love. in real life heh. i also dont really like body horror lols even though it couldve been worse here i guess. i know its supposed to be like, symbolic though :p. i like how - there wass a specific message/themes they were trying to be about in this show, but - idk, before we realizedd that, it was kind of amusing how the random suspicious jumpscares/problems that happen aree kinda like, making you/trickingg you to thinkk, that the story could justt be any of the clichee scary stories - but thenn its a pleasant surprise that even though you thought it was gonna be a cliche predictable plot, its actually much more elaborate in a good way lols. i also like “”gothic”“ and kinda spooky but not likeee verY scarY ha. cause gothic is likee, a lookk/mood!!

so yeah, i liked this in general, and would recommend it in general and might watch most of it again in halloween season lols. i like it because its sophisticated and relateable enough, graceful, cute enough - balanced so its not tooo much of anythingg and just enoughh of different things that would make any show enjoyable enoughh, i thinkk . good in all the ways it matters, in all the important ways. generally doesnt get campy in the parts of the show where that would matter lols. i liked it better than the other series apparently also by this director or whatever, “haunting of hill house”. i think “bly manor” was better in nearly every way lols .

#reviews #tv #haunting of bly manor #on netflix #spooky #halloween season shows to watch possibly!

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vieverdeen · 5 years

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Thoughts on 8x03. I need to vent.

WARNING: this contains dark! Dany, crumbs of Jonsa i guess, anti sanarion, anti jonerys, anti daenerys, anti tyrion, anti d&d, basically anti everything, and lots and lots and lots of complaining. LOTS. And bitching. I hated 8x03. If you liked it, I suggest you keep scrolling. Please keep scrolling. I don't want any heat, dont want to offend anybody, I just so BADLY need to vent.

Also, i post in the Jonsa tag, because that's my main fandom and where i feel safe.

ALSO SPOILERS!

This episode was an epitome of disappointment. I can't even. All this bragging how it was going to beat BotB and Hardhome, even freakin HELMS DEEP (the audacity) and ZERO payoff. I'll try to be as brief as possible(I probably won't be).

1. Whover was the mastermid behind this battleplan should hang. What the actual fuck. What the f*ck was the deal with stationing all The Unsullied and Dothraki OUTSIDE?! I mean i get it - there's limited space at Winterfell, and those are huge armies. But later, when it all goes to hell with the Dothraki and so on, and Dadvos screams "man the walls!" there are so few people actually inside, that could man the walls! I mean, the defenders should form a freaking wall themselves, to push down as many wights as possible! And they weren't even in position, on the battlements!

2. The charge was fucking idiotic. I really don't get it - was it a rash decision of the Dothraki, inspired by Mel lighting their arakhs, that they were like "yeah, why not, let's roll", without any order? Or was it an ACTUAL plan for them to charge the AotD, without anybody knowing Mel would show up and do what she did, with regular weapons, not even Valyrian steel or dragon glass?! I mean, did they WANT to give the NK more meat for his army? THE STUPIDITY

3. What was the deal with Arya during the battle? All of the sudden she's inside the castle, terrified, walks into the library and hides from one(!) wight - seeing as in the beginning she wasn't aware there were more. The whole library scene was exhausting to watch, and not because of the suspence, but again, because of the stupidity of it. It felt out of nowhere and pointless. And damn, I remember all of the speculation when the trailer came out- why is Arya so terrified, what is she running from? Is it Rickon or whatnot? Nope. No surprises here. Just regular whights, just like the ones she was going all assasin-mode on a minute ago.

3. Jon, Daenerice and their lizards. I mean, could they have been any more useless?! Dani burns some wights in the beginning and thats it. The most frustrating part was, that they haven't even once used the goddamn dragons to fry Viserion. Not once! There was some hands-on dragon combat but that was it. At various moments I wanted the NK to win, seriously. When they flew above the clouds and Viserion disappeared, i half expected the nephew and his aunt to sing "A whole new world" together and fly away. Wouldn't have made a difference.

4. I will give them one thing, the part with Dany falling off of Drogon and him abandoning her was satisfying. Shame that Jorah ex Machina was soo predicrable (glad it wasn't Jon though). Also, I will say, that Jorahs death was the one scene I actually liked, it brought me back to season 1 and I felt for Daenerys for a moment.

5. The crypts. I mean, the way Tyrion has been made by the show to be the Most Moral Man in the Universe, with his magical, genius mind has become unbearable. I wanted to smack him, seriously. Of course YOU should be out there Tyrion, YOU might notice something others won't. Sansa put him in his place, but I would prefer it if she remaind cold towards him, like in the first episode, just beacuse the amount of sanarion being pushed down our throats was making me gag. Saying they would never have worked because of Dani? Sansa love, you dont have to be polite. It would never have worked because Sansa did not love him, wasn't attracted to him, was forced to marry him as a child, because he's a father-killing, whore-mongering alcoholic. I was SO scared they would actually kiss in that scene when they were hiding. I was about to puke. Seriously, Sophie has an amazing chemistry with nearly everyone and clearly it was visible in this scene, but for the love of God I could not bear it.

6. Missandei and her "if it werent for the Dragon Queen we'd all be dead". I need someone to step up ASAP and make it clear that if it werent for Dani and her dumbass advisors the NK WOULDNT HAVE A F*CKING DRAGON!!! And the Wall still would be standing! Why don't these things matter? Like at all?? Why?! D&D just dont give a fuck.

7. Bran. The Three-Eyed Raven. All those seasons, the impossible journey, the sacrifice of Hodor, Jojen, Meera, Summer, all the 8-year build up for the AotD to end like... this. No resolution, no answers, no explanation. And Bran does nothing. It was so underwhelming. Every single fanfic I've read was better than this. He just warged into some ravens and went for a flight. Coolcoolcool.

8. The final scene, with the music and everything was, much like the rest of the episode, exhausting. The pacing was all over the place, either too slow or too fast. It sure was nice of the NK to give Theon and Bran some extra time so they could look at each other meaningfully, with Bran taking his sweet time to assure Theon that his character arc has been completed and he's most welcome to die for him now. The NK was actually a big softie on the inside, truly. Applies also for the never-ending look he exchanged with Bran before actually trying to kill him.

Till the last moment I was hoping that Bran would pull something out. That he couldn't have been THIS useless. Anything, I would have even taken time travel, anything. But GoT has stopped shocking and surprising a looong time ago, and we got Arya instead. I guess she's so awesome now, kinda like a supernatural being, that the only sign of her coming is a light breeze moving one's hair. I don't quite get when did she actually learn to fly/jump so high, maybe at some point in Braavos, between washing dead bodies and fighting with sticks? (okay, here's a rabbit hole to avoid - Aryas plot since sason 6, when suddenly she becomes a worrior able to best Brienne in combat). I would really like Arya killing the NK, if it was done and executed better, with a decent build-up and all of that. Not like this. It was so fucking easy it hurt.

9. Jon was useless. Useless I tell you. Dani being useless was sorta satisfying, as I'm anti dany, but Jon has been obsessed with the AotD and the NK for too many seasons now. I guess I should be thankful that at no point the line "i thought i lost you" has been uttered.

10. When the episode ended, me and my sister were like, "damn, dani has actually lost all her armies. game over for her." I mean she lost all of the Dothraki, almost all of the Unsullied? But God, did we underestimate Dumb&Dumber's dumbness! OF COURSE in the promo Dani still has an army and is ready to go to war with Cersei. OF COURSE. Fuck logic, fuck the facts, fuck the plot. Things havent been making any sense for a while now, so why bother at the end?

11. One more thing about Ghost - i love this boy with all my heart, and that's why it pisses me off so much that after SEASONS of neglecting him and favouring the lizards, the writers bring him back for some meaningless cameos, without Jon interacting with him ONCE. The discrespect! Seriously, at this point Ghost should just switch owners. Jon better stay with his pet reptalian.

Sidenote: I won't even go into no Jonsa goodbye scene. No goodbye-scene for Jon with any of the Starks. Coolcoolcool.

There is more, I'm sure, but I cant remember and I'm too tired. I dont even know what I expected. Maybe because the 2 first episodes were decent I was hoping for something remotely good. But D&D reminded me that no one can dissapoint like they can.

#jonsa #anti jonerys #anti daenerys #got spoilers #spoilers #anti sanarion #anti tyrion lannister

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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Hi. I really enjoy your blog and thank you for being so positive. All the negativity about last night's ep bothers me. I would love to see Dean/Cas finally have that big moment, but it wouldnt make for good story telling if we got it so easily. I have felt since s12...we are getting real personal growth! I also feel something big is coming for Dean/Cas with how they have kept them apart and all the emotional baggage getting adressed. There has been no hug either and there is so much unsaid. ❤

Yeah, I mean... I watch the show with the full knowledge that no matter how important Dean and Cas’s relationship is, even to the actual structure of the narrative, the way they’re writing the story and the actual focus of the main plot... will never focus that directly on destiel. This doesn’t mean I think destiel isn’t A Thing they are writing, just that Who Dean Is As A Person and Who Cas Is As A Person both take narrative precedence over the potential for a textual romantic relationship going forward for them.

I have no idea how to say that without sounding negative about it or drawing wank on it, which is why I don’t usually attempt to state it so blatantly in public. But I am 100% not negative about this. I’m just speaking about it from a narrative structure perspective here, which I’ve been yelling FOR LITERAL YEARS bears a close resemblance to the structure of 1001 Nights, and the Scheherazade/Shahryar relationship. Their romance is NEVER in the foreground of the tale, and yet somehow the entirety of 1001 Nights IS THE OVERARCHING STRUCTURE OF THEIR ROMANCE. Other aspects of the story are more pressing (like Scheherazade having sacrificed herself in the attempt to stop other women from being killed every morning, but not actually wanting to die herself because She Is Smart and Has A Plan and showed up with a buttload of awesome stories to slowly guide her plan to fruition). All those stories she weaves, in the gaps between them, she and Shahryar slowly fall in love. It’s not something they confess out loud, but it is something they both gradually begin to feel and to understand. Their interpersonal side-plot grows slowly, over 1001 actual nights of storytelling and companionship, and it takes nearly THREE YEARS of constant nightly stories, never letting one story end at the wrong time (at daybreak, when Shahryar might choose to kill her, but always timing it JUST RIGHT so that he’d ask for another story to fill the hours until dawn... which would inevitably be interrupted on a cliffhanger with words unspoken still between them... interrupting moose, anyone? That would be Scheherazade’s sister, Dunyazade, who accompanied her on what was supposed to be Scheherazade’s literal last night on Earth, but whose prompting and strategic interruptions actually furthered the romantic tension growing between Scheherazade and Shahryar, preventing their story from coming to an end too soon).

So while Scheherazade and Shahryar and their slow fall into love with one another is literally fundamental to the entire narrative, there was no way for any of it to pay off before the end of the larger narrative, you know?

If Scheherazade can patiently continue spinning out her stories, setting her own eventual (hopeful!) personal happiness aside because she sees the bigger picture at stake, then I can certainly wait until the end of Supernatural, however long it continues until its story is finally done.

Does this mean I’m saying that romantic love confessions and a clear, undeniable canon romantic relationship will factor in to the ending of the series? Nope. I have no guarantees to offer. But it does mean that as long as the show keeps factoring the fundamental importance of their relationship into the larger overarching narrative, as well as their own personal character arcs, and continuing to poke at it both through narrative mirrors and textually laying Big Questions for them out on the table, then I’m gonna be Scheherazade about it.

Every episode begins (emotionally, for me) with the Dread Pirate Roberts having spared Westley’s life because of True Love, and telling him “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” But then he doesn’t... and he continues not killing him, because it was all about true love. (yes, I’m saying the Princess Bride is a twist on the 1001 Nights narrative, at least insofar as The Dread Pirate Roberts persona goes. I mean... the parallel goes a lot deeper than this, into so much more of the metaphorical journey, the Hero’s Journey to prove himself worthy to his True Love, the quest for justice when he doubts the strength of that love to transcend death, after it was literally stolen away from him... I mean, this parallel also runs deep).

So that’s where we are with destiel. I’m perfectly 100% happy with that. Because I’m content to engage with the narrative they are actually presenting, and not delusionally projecting my own desire for Dean and Cas to just be happy now onto it in a way that it just does not exist in canon, you know?

All that said, YES. How long has it been since we’ve had a simple, “Hello, Dean.” Or even a HUG between them... since 13.06? YIKES THAT IS A WHILE. And we didn’t even get to hear the Hello, Dean at the end of 13.05 that we all yelled at the TV to fill that silent gap when Dean answered the phone and it was Cas calling him.

I choose to believe that the show is following their own unofficial theme song in this regard, though. They’ll be able to be happy at the end of the road. “There’ll be peace when you are done.” And until then, they’ve got a lot of road to cover, and a long way to go, and a lot of extraneous baggage to deal with. But they’re getting there, because they’ve always been headed there, even when they weren’t entirely sure where “there” was, you know?

But now we know Dean DOES know, at least in a general way. He’s not longing for a life that isn’t his anymore. He doesn’t feel cheated out of the white picket fence, apple pie life anymore. He’s made his own family (which absolutely does include Cas), and he recognizes there’s still work for them to do, but Dean himself is good with that. He’s in a strangely healthier place than he’s ever been in his whole entire life, including 4-year-old him who never knew death and fire and tragedy.

And that’s absolutely something to carry forward, wherever the road may lead.

And that’s also why I’ll eternally be frustrated with fandom bitterness over the literal structure of the entire narrative. I mean, this is not gonna change. This is the main story they are telling, and how they’re telling it. I only hope that being able to get some perspective on that will help people keep all of this in mind and truly appreciate the beauty of it all. This is why I personally feel this has the potential to be the greatest love story ever told, because it’s so much more than just an angel falling from heaven and raising a man from hell, and then meeting in the middle. It’s about BOTH of them, their choices, their failures and successes, and this entire process of understanding who they are in the larger structure of the universe, and who they could potentially be to one another.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

#spn 14.13 #spn 300 #destiel #spn s14 spoilers #the scheherazade of supernatural #this is how stories work #and saying destiel isn't the central focus of the story isn't diminishing its presence in the larger narrative #sorry if i kinda ranted and rambled at you here but this is so important to me #aurenia heart

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heathenarmyimagines · 5 years

Photo

Title: A Different Time

Summary: After a bit more chaos the day finally chills out.

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger, @arses21434, @ltkeke, @captainfoxy22, @chinduda

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

You were unsure what to do, who to comfort first.

Ubbe and Hvitserk had each other, and Lagertha was taming Bjorn. So Ivar it was.

You went around to your room and walked through the connecting bathroom.

‘Ivar?’ you called softly as you entered the room, trying to prepare whatever disaster you might walk in on.

What you saw when you walked in proved you were right to be tense, Ivar was on the ground as if he had fallen from his chair and he was convulsing.

You rushed to his side and take him into arms, at first you thought you he was having a seizure, but you looked at his face and saw that his, while wide with fear, they were focused.

A panic attack.

‘Its OK Ivar, I’m right here, I’m with you.’ you said.

Still he couldn’t get in good breath.

‘OK, listen to me Ivar, we are going to take a deep breath. Breath in for four seconds.’ you said before taking a breath, making sure to watch Ivar do the same.

‘Good, good; now lets just hold it in for five seconds. One, two, three, four, five; now let it all out.’ you instructed,

Ivar let out a long sigh and seemed to calm down a bit, you and he did the exercise a few times until he was calm enough to speak.

‘There you go.’ you sighed in relief.

‘Sigurd will never forgive me no matter what I sacrifice...I will never forgive me.’ Ivar sobbed.

‘We will never return to Kattegat and it will be my fault because I killed him...my own brother.’ he cried.

You held him close.

‘Don’t you lose hope Ivar, things will get better, we’ll figure something out. For right now why don’t you get in bed and I’ll tuck you in and you can sleep until you feel better.’ you offered.

He wiped his eyes before he nodded and pull himself up onto the bed.

You pulled the covers over him and rubbed his hair gently ran a hand through his hair before you kissed his forehead.

‘Sweet dreams Ivar.’ you whispered.

Ivar didn’t say anything back, he just turned over and pulled the covers over his head, the way a child would after a bad day at school.

You sighed sadly before you turned and left the room.

Once you were back in the hall you were about to go and check on Ubbe and Hvitserk when you heard a knock on the door.

You waled over to the door and looked through the peephole.

Alvin.

You rolled your eyes as you open the door.

‘You really couldn’t have chosen a worse time to show up unannounced.’ you said as you stepped outside closing the door behind you.

‘If I had called you wouldn’t have answered.’

‘No I’d answer...and tell you I don’t want you near my damn house.’ you sassed as you folded your arms.

‘Please (Y/N) let’s just talk, just the two of us. There isn’t a girl in my car and I even deleted every girl I had in my phone. I just...I want you back.’ he said reaching out to grab you by the waist.

You backed away from him.

‘What you do now doesn’t change what you did, or all the girls you did it with Alvin. So try peddling that “baby I want you back” shtick for the next girl, maybe she’ll fall for it.’ you said.

‘I’m not peddling anything, I miss you. I know I was wrong going out looking for sex behind your back. You weren’t ready, I respected that and didn’t want to force you, but I wasn’t patient enough to wait for you to be ready and found someone else.’

‘A lot of someones.’ you said.

‘Yes a lot...and each time it was wrong. The other girls they were just...sex and nudes, you were everything that mattered. A person to talk to, a friend I could trust and a good girl to bring home and settle down with.’

‘I was good to you Alvin, better than you deserved. I don’t like making the same mistake twice. We were a mistake; I’m not ready for sex, you aren’t ready wait for sex.’ you reasoned.

‘I’m ready to wait for you now.’

‘It’s too late Alvin.’ you said.

Just when Alvin was going to speak the door opened and there stood Bjorn, Ubbe, Hvitserk and Lagertha.

‘Who the hell is these people?’ he asked as he tensed up his body language.

‘We heard the door open and thought maybe it was Sigurd again.’ Hvitserk said as he looked at Alvin.

‘Is this Alvin?’ Lagertha asked.

‘Yes, he was just leaving.’ you said as you tried to herd them back into the house.

‘The one who made you cry? This is that Alvin?’ Ubbe asked as his looked your ex up and down, sizing him up.

‘Yes, everyone jus-

‘Good, just what I needed after the day I’ve had.’ Bjorn said as he stepped past you and got in Alvin’s face.

‘You got a problem old head?’ Alvin asked defensively getting in a fighting stance.

Bjorn didn’t seem to notice the change in position at all, he just grabbed Alvin by his shoulders and lifted him off the ground.

‘What the fuck?! Let go of me old man!’

‘Bjorn put him down! No fighting! I told you no fighting!’ you yelled as you tried to make the beast of a man put down your poor ex.

With a heavy sigh and the roll of his eyes he dropped Alvin like a sack of potatoes.

‘All of you inside, we’ll talk later.’ you said as you went to help Alvin stand back up.

They all spared Alvin one last look before they went back inside.

‘Nah, what the hell was that shit who the hell were they and why they in yo house?!’ Alvin yelled angrily.

‘Foreigners! I rented out some of the rooms for extra pocket money, they stay here until their visas expire. They were who I bought the clothes for at Walmart, I was going to tell you but you looked busy.’ you lied.

‘That big ass old motherfucker...tell his ass to get back out here!’ Alvin said angrily.

‘No! That man is veteran a damn good one from the stories he’s told he could kill you! Alvin just go, we are over and that old man is just having a bad day and so are you. Please please please just walk away, don’t tell anyone don’t call the cops or they could get in serious trouble. Alvin please do this one thing for me if you ever cared at all, just walk away and forget this.’ you begged.

He was still angry, you could see that, but he looked at you and sighed before he nodded.

‘I don’t snitch...not even on big ass old heads.’ he said.

You sighed with relief.

‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t sweat it...and (Y/N), I am sorry for what I did. If by some miracle you ever decided to give me a second chance I’d take it, and I would be better.’ he said before he turned and left.

You watched him get in his truck and drive off.

Now that he was gone you had a whole other monster to deal with inside.

You went inside and there they were on the couch with faces ready for a scolding.

‘I’m not mad or disappointed so I’m not going to yell, none of us need that right now. Today has been...today fucking sucked.’ you said bluntly.

‘I had to work, I got sexually harassed and you all have had a visit from your brother, my ex popped up and you nearly got into a second fight after we had avoided the first.’ you summarized.

‘Yes today...fucking sucked.’ Lagertha agreed.

‘I say we spend the rest of this long ass day watching TV, and eating our feelings. That’s how most people handle a bad day.’ you said as you set the TV up and pushed play on the show.

You head back into the kitchen to get a few bags of chips and Little Debbie snack cakes from the pantry, using your shoe to prop the door open just in case.

You came back into the living living room and put all the goods on the table and opened a few, showing them how to eat the snacks before you sat down on the love seat and opened a bag of Cheetos while the show played.

You all fall into a comfortable silence while watching Merlin, the vikings didn’t ask questions they just sat on the couch and ate.

Finally, things were chilled...for now at least.

#ivar lothbrok #ivar the boneless #ubbe lothbrok #hvitserk #bjorn ironside #lagertha #ivar x reader #a different time series

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lovesickjily · 5 years

Text

Motionless

Summary: James had thought that he was the only person in the world who had the power to stop time, but somehow, just the sight of Lily Evans makes every second feel like an hour.

leave some love on ao3 or ffn

ahhh i hope you enjoy this because i surely did <33

He’d always considered himself a superhero.

No, not that sort of superhero, not the one who was completely for adopting a latex suit of some sort as the most iconic aspect of his or hers— no offence to all of those who did wear such uncomfortable outfits for whatever reason, because such people of power were all bloody awesome, if he did say so himself.

He wasn’t going to be slinging spider webs out of his hands any time soon, nor was he going to take any unnaturally giant being out with just the sheer force of his bare hands, though either of such would have been absolutely wicked considering the fact that he practically idolised such men since he’d been a child.

No, if one were to compare him to the likes of the larger-than-life characters, well, then he’d just be James. He was James, in fact. James Potter, who probably looked to be living that Clark Kent double-life, if he was to be judged by his outward appearance, what with his glasses and messier-than-should-be-allowed hair, but he didn’t stop menacing villains on the side, simply because he was definitely not a superhero.

It didn’t matter that he thought that he was just about cool enough to be a hero, or if he demonstrated courage through his more-than-reckless stunts that he pulled with his best mates daily, or if his kindness could be shown through helping his mum with the chores everyday, or even the mere fact that he’d somehow been born with the ability to stop time at whichever moment and time he wanted. He was not that sort of superhero.

Er, well.

At least he wanted to convince himself that that sort of superhero life wouldn’t work, but alas, words carried a much different power than actions did.

In truth, he found himself stopping time for good reasons, like the occasional stopping time to catch someone who had been so obviously cheating on an exam. Yes, justice had been served that one time he’d done that, because it meant that those who had actually worked for their grades wouldn’t be put to shame by the fact that some cheater had scored just about as high as they did. If he ever had the chance though, he’d definitely use his powers for the greater good, but because this wasn’t New York City, he was not be to greeted by the likes of King Kong or the Green Goblin any time soon. And honestly, thank heavens for that.

He would have absolutely hated to use his powers for something as horrible as stealing from the bank— which he honestly had no need to do, considering the immense wealth that his parents carried and gave him access to— or taking horrible advantage of unsuspecting women— he even shuddered to think about doing such a thing.

Most of the time, anyway.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t used the power to his advantage when playing tricks on his friends, who were none the wiser whenever he planned a surprise ‘attack,’ because there wasn’t even much they could do in defence of themselves, anyway. He could have warned them that he was about to pull a prank on them, but what would it matter if they couldn’t do a thing while frozen in place? It did feel unfair though, and so he’d taken to doing it less often than he’d used to, not to mention the fact that it got a bit old after the first hundreds of times that he’d done it. Well, somewhat old, because it was still funny to see Sirius fall on his face whenever he tied his laces together, but the pranks weren’t enough for his mate to make the decision to invest in the disgrace that was velcro.

And James wasn’t stupid either, because he used his ability for practical purposes too. Take, for instance, when the alarm for early classes went off, he’d simply just freeze time to catch up on all of the sleep that he wanted, or if he pushed an assignment off to the very last day, he easily used his abilities to give him all the time in the world to finish it in ample time.

He remembered when he was little, he froze time to eat all of the ice cream he wanted at the local ice cream shop, an action that his mother was strictly opposed against when she’d found out because she wanted him to eat healthy meals and grow up into a strong man. He’d gotten a horrible stomach ache afterwards, but the ice cream was bloody delicious, so it was honestly well worth it, especially when he supposed that he did grow up well. His face in the mirror proved it.

It was nice to reflect in this sort of weather, he mused. The sky had darkened immensely, having a tendency of some sort to turn as black as coal during the month of November at five in the afternoon, though the stars had yet to come out, not wanting to shine for him, most likely because he was not a superhero and therefore not worth shining for. That was understandable, really.

He liked walking home in the natural quietness, and one thing that he absolutely hated with his powers was that if it ever got too noisy, he could easily mute all sounds in the world, because as much as it seemed to be peaceful, it just felt odd to be walking in a world without a single sound, without a single movement, without a single laugh filling the air. And he supposed that it kind of sort of did feel lonely whenever he froze time when he thought about how he was the only person who was breathing at those moments.

He never tried to overthink on the technicalities of his abilities either, not unless he wanted to suffer from a headache that would last for hours, because even now, at nineteen years, he still had no idea how or why he’d gotten such a power. Perhaps the universe had been drinking when it had come to that decision, because it had chosen him out of all of its worthy options, but at least it didn’t make too bad of a settlement if he wasn’t bloody exploiting it for evil purposes.

He hummed softly to himself, simply because whistling was too ominous a sound to be making in the darkness, and he ignored the franticness of all of the people around him as they scurried to get home, an action that was quite understandable considering the prison-like work conditions that they faced every day with a nine-to-five job. He hoped that wherever life took him, it wouldn’t take him to the restraints that such jobs held.

The pedestrian lights were red, a sign that he was to wait until the street was cleared, and he was nearly tempted to stop time then and there just to cross the street without any waiting time, but he didn’t want to abuse his powers for a matter that was just as insignificant as this, knowing that there were people who would have killed to have such a cool ability. Yeah, he was going to wait for the sign to turn green. It was honestly the least he could really do.

When he did cross the street, in the fairest manner possible, he rounded the corner, knowing each and every time that he had to take, and if he was ever tied up in a chair and told to recreate a map of London, he’d most definitely be able to get it all down to the last detail.

And as he strolled down the street, not a single worry or concern on his mind, he caught sight of red, a very dark red colour that seemed unmatched for another other shade of red that he’d ever seen in his life simply because it was so pretty, and undoubtedly if she were to turn in his direction, she’d be pretty. She was crossing to the other side of the street, not a single car on this particular road, and he would have gone on with his life, seeing as it was completely stalkerish of him to be observing her even though he had absolutely no right to do so, had it not been for the sudden truck that had veered in from the intersecting street.

It hadn’t even seemed to attempt to slow down, definitely not seeing the redhead on the street, but if James was gauging the driver’s facial reactions properly, then it seemed that the man had no power to stop it, and from his jerking motions it seemed he was trying his hardest to unjam one of the pedals. The truck wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

What was worse though, was the fact that the woman was right in the middle of the street, and the truck was so bloody close that even if she had all the speed in the world, she’d still be unable to avoid a collision with the vehicle. No, no, no. He could not let her die like that, not if he could help it, but just bearing witness to such an event, an event that he’d always hoped could end up with a person being saved by his hands, caused anxiety to rage up within him.

Fuck. What if he somehow, at this very instance, lost his powers, and any efforts that he took would be for naught? No, don’t think that. He could bloody do it, no matter how frozen the sight made him, no matter how much his hands shook at fear that he’d let someone die when he could have saved him.

This was far scarier than he’d ever imagined.

And with each passing second, the truck seemed to be moving faster, and the driver had seemed to have covered his eyes in fear that he was going to kill her. James could not let that happen, and at the very last second, he’d nearly thought that he’d heard the sound of a crash, but to see that she was definitely not lying on the ground meant that his brain had already started conjuring up false sounds to terrify him even more. It was enough for a snap to ring out in the air, and the world grew silent, no slams, no tire brakes, just the sound of his heart pounding against his chest, begging to be freed so that it could witness if he’d assisted in an innocent person’s death.

He hadn’t even realised that his eyes had been closed, but when he opened them again, he saw that the truck and its driver had been completely still. What scared him, terrified him, was the fact that the woman was so clearly shaking with fright, and—

No, that couldn’t be right. Nobody was able to move when he froze time, nobody but himself, but there she was, her head whirling around as she took in the sight of the frozen world around her, and when her eyes— green and beautiful and lovely and filled with every single emotion concerning fear— fell upon his, they widened, and before doing anything else, she quickly moved out of the way of the truck, as if it would suddenly roar back to life to crash into her like a wave against the sandy shore.

It was as if her eyes held some sort of spell themselves, because the sight of her, so much more beautiful than he could ever imagined, sent shooting stars racing through his heart, and he suddenly felt as if he couldn’t move, as if she could stop time herself. From the way she’d reacted to his abilities, though, it seemed that it was only all in his head, because he didn’t think that he could be thinking if that was the case.

He watched her carefully, and she hesitated at first before ultimately deciding to approach him, the only other person able to move in an otherwise still world. She stopped a good few feet in front of him, holding her umbrella out in front of her as if it was a sword. “Who are you?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly as she tried to take on a fearless tone, and he couldn’t help but show surprise at her response.

He didn’t expect her to fall onto her knees out of complete gratitude or anything elaborate of that sort, but in his many scenarios that he’d conjured up as how he was to save a person’s life in the most extreme way, none of them featured the girl threatening to poke his eye out with an umbrella. “I don’t think my identity is important right now,” he told her, more out of fear that she’d call the cops on him for whatever reason, “Are you all right?”

“Is he all right?” she responded, her words stressed with urgency, and she pointed back at the bloke in the truck.

“He’s fine.” He waved it off dismissively. “I’m asking about you.”

“He’s bloody frozen in place!”

“And you almost got hit by a truck!” he shot back, and he flinched, not exactly liking that he’d raised a voice at a complete stranger who most definitely was not in the wrong, “Er, sorry. I just— how exactly are you still moving?”

She looked at him as if he was insane. “Are you to say that I’m not supposed to be moving?”

He gulped, hopefully not too visibly, because he had the upper hand here. He had the ability to stop time, and yet, she was somehow immune to it, for whatever reason unbeknownst to him. How the actual fuck was she immune? Never in his life had he ever met anyone who hadn’t been affected by his abilities, and yet there she was, her eyes glaring at him as she demanded an answer from him. “I reckon you can answer that for yourself.” He motioned towards the rest of the quiet world.

“I can’t, actually, considering the fact that there’s absolutely no scientific reason that could explain why nothing in the world is moving except for us. I mean, theoretically, shouldn’t we be dead if nothing is moving? Shouldn’t we be at absolute zero if that was the case? I just—” She stopped, her eyes widening, and when she spoke again, her voice was higher with much more panic. “What exactly is going on?”

He didn’t know how to answer her, and he merely looked back at her.

She seemed to lose her balance then, landing onto her knees as her hands flew up to her mouth at just how overwhelming it all was. “This can’t be possible. I should be dead right now. No one can possibly be able to stop time. Oh god, I’m going insane.”

He edged towards her, slowly, like one would approach a startled animal, and when he was looming over her, he reached a hand out awkwardly, patting her on the shoulder because he didn’t know what to do with someone who was so evidently distraught by being a first-hand witness to his abilities. “I can assure you that you’re not dead, nor are you crazy.”

“No, I know I’m not crazy,” she responded, and she looked at him with her eyes, the green seeming to pierce into his soul, “I— The thing is, I’ve been in these frozen times before. I’ll be talking to my friend, and the next thing that I know, she stops moving. I’ve been witness to all of this before, and it’s just— it’s just terrifying yet so relieving to know that it’s not be behind all of this. Terrifying mostly, but god.”

He merely blinked at her confession. It was his turn to be surprised now— fuck, wait, no. It was his turn to be even more surprised now. “You’ve been able to do this all your life?”

“Have you been able to stop time all of your life?”

“Yes,” he said in exasperation, “Listen, I’d love to go back and forth about our abilities, but I’m sure it’s just as disconcerting for you as it is for me for time to be frozen for this long.”

“Then undo it!” she exclaimed before her eyes quickly softened at her outrage, “Please?”

He nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I— fuck— How do I undo it without giving the driver a heart attack?”

She stared up at him, and if he could, he would have thrown all caution to the wind and stared at her forever, but he wasn’t a creep, nor was that practical considering their situation. Before he knew what had happened, she had thrown him right over her person so that he was hovering above her, his legs spread on both sides of her and her eyes boring right into his. “Like this.”

“What— what the hell are you doing?” he asked her, but she stayed in that position.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she replied, and no, it was not bloody obvious, because it’d been so long since he’d last had a girlfriend and just the sight of such a gorgeous woman was making his heart nervous, what with the implications that were swarming about with him right over her. “This is the solution to not giving the driver a ‘heart attack,’ as you’d so put it.”

He was going to get a heart attack, if anything. “I don’t get it,” he told her weakly, as if their positions were making his heart physically weaker.

She sighed deeply. “It’s so that the driver would think that you saved me.”

“Oh.”

He was sure that if they’d spent hundreds of years stuck in time, he would never— not even once— come up with an idea that was as smart as her own solution to this problem, and without hesitation, he sent the world filled with sound and movement once again, the sound of the truck’s horn filling his airs as it rushed past them.

It was funny really, how he’d paused and unpaused the world at least a hundred times already, yet he could still not bring himself to get over the difference in how much louder the world was when it was action in comparison to the still world that he got to experience for himself. Her eyes had fallen shut at the sound as she flinched, and when the ugly screech of the tires filled the air, he knew that the driver had managed to work his brakes once again, taking control of the vehicle as it finally came to a halt.

She’d taken to holding on to him, most likely out of more than anything else, which was understandable, really, considering the fact that this giant man-made vehicle had almost killed, would have killed her if he’d come maybe a second too late. There was no power that he held in which he could reverse time and go back, no matter how little seconds he needed, because what was done was done, and at least with his abilities, he could save time.

It didn’t change the fact that their closeness was sending a thrill to his heart, a closeness that was quickly ripped away when the sounds of the driver’s heavy footsteps rumbled down the street as he came to make sure that she was okay. “I’m so sorry! Are you all right? I didn’t hurt you, did I? The brakes got stuck, and—”

The poor bloke seemed to be shaking with fear out of the fact that had he hit her, he would have been charged with vehicular manslaughter and would have had to spend many of his days in prison. There was at least some obligation in the franticness of his words.

“I’m fine,” she managed, and she made a light attempt to push him off of her, but it was enough for James to get the message and pull off of her, “He saved my life.”

The driver’s eyes darted over to James, who had gotten up from the ground and was now holding his hand out to the woman. “That’s good to hear.”

She nodded at him, trembling a bit, and the driver turned around, eager to get away from an avoided crime scene. She put her hand in James’s, accepting it, and he pulled her up so that they were both standing. “I suppose I haven’t thanked you for saving me yet. I’m sorry, by the way, for snapping at you the way I did.”

He shrugged. “It’s fine. Understandable, really, when these powers are actually hard to grasp.”

The corner of her lip rose slightly. “Thank you, though. I don’t know how else to explain to you that I’m so thankful for you being there.”

“You are all right, aren’t you? Heard that three times in the last— shit, I don’t even know how to describe the time that passed— few moments, but I just want to be sure.”

“Yeah. I— yeah,” she replied, taking in a deep breath, “I’m fine. Really.”

He probably didn’t look convinced at her words, judging from the way she was looking at him, and before he could fully process the next few seconds, it was like time had frozen despite him not moving a finger, because he suddenly felt her lips falling against his cheek without any warning whatsoever. He was fully aware of how much his cheek was burning from just her touch, just a sweet and innocent gratuitous kiss, yet it seemed to be spreading down throughout his body, like how a single spark could ignite an entire building.

It was probably the only aspect in his superhero fantasies that had played out, and when she pulled away, landed effectively back onto the flats of her feet, she gave him a small smile before turning around to leave. He stood in shock for a few moments, as if she really had frozen him, and it wasn’t until she was near the other side of the street that he’d snapped back to his senses. “Wait!” She turned around, and he took it as a cue to rush up towards her. “I— You’re not saying this is it, are you?”

She looked at him in concern. “Sorry?”

“Swear I don’t feel entitled to your affections, but it’s just that I’d like to see you again sometime.”

Her head tilted to the side in confusion. “I think with your abilities, we’ll see each other soon.”

He nodded. “What’s your name?”

“Did you say identification wasn’t important right now?”

“Well, yeah, but that was then, and—” He stopped, cutting himself off, because he wasn’t even sure if she wanted to see him again before ultimately deciding to continue. “I dunno, it’s just that it’s hard to not bond with someone who shares something with you.”

“And what do we share? A near-death experience? Or is it the fact that we’ve somehow got the abilities to not be affecting by time stopping?”

“Both, I reckon, only I’d like to be optimistic about this and see the bright side of things.”

His words finally brought out a pretty smile from her, and he found that he quite liked the curve of her lips. “Lily.”

“That’s a strange reply,” he joked, and when she rolled her eyes, he added, “It’s pretty. Lily. Yeah, that’s a pretty name. If you like the name James, I reckon we both share pretty names as well, except I think yours is far prettier.”

“Your constant use of the same adjective makes me question the authenticity of your compliment.”

“Why? I think it just goes to emphasize just how pretty I think your name is. That among other things.”

“Like how pretty your name is?”

“Sure. You could say that, but really, it’s just to show just how in awe I am of your utter beauty. Like, wow, you goddess.”

She smiled sweetly at him. “I should get going now. It’s getting late.”

“What’s the rush?”

“An impending fear that another truck will materialise in front of me, and you won’t be there to stop time.”

“Yeah, you got me there,” he said, his lips curving upwards, “I’ll see you, yeah?”

She nodded. “Bye, James.”

And as she walked away, he stood there pondering what the bloody fuck just happened, but there was one thing for sure: he was definitely a superhero like the likes of Spider-Man and Captain America.

Or, perhaps more fittingly, he wanted to be a superhero if it meant that he’d save her once again. If it meant that he’d see her once again.

***

He didn’t think he ever felt as strongly as he did for the redhead who began to frequent his dreams and his mind nearly every second of every day as with any other woman who crossed his path.

He didn’t find himself freezing time all that often, but when he did, he wondered if she thought about him whenever she found herself stuck in a frozen world as well, and that mere thought made him feel at least a little less lonely. It was quite lovely, actually, how in those frozen moments, just as if they were stuck in a still picture, they were the only people breathing life into an otherwise silent world.

Meeting her, it seemed, made him at least a million times more poetic than he’d ever thought he could ever be.

The breeze that was November quickly blew over until the month on the calendar turned into December, and every street that he crossed from uni every day became holiday-filled, with the merry Santas and the jolly snowmen greeting the sights of every person who walked by. It was strange, he marvelled, at how just a refreshing change in scenery seemed to brighten the moods of every person, and even though James hadn’t seen Lily since that horrible night where she’d almost made eye contact with the likes of Death, he still found himself walking with a light flourish in every single one of his steps.

The thing with winter was that magic seemed to be more of a prospective force that swirled about in the air, simply because it was a force that was present in this time, appearing as the natural phenomenon that was snow. He’d always loved snow, always loved freezing time in the dead of winter, because there was just something so beautiful about the little crystallines suspended in the air, as if they were being hung up by a string in a children’s Christmas production. He didn’t know why exactly he’d chosen to freeze time at this very second, but he did, and the snow, which had been falling down as flurries, ceased to move, involuntarily choosing to decorate the open air the way one would decorate a Christmas tree.

There was no problem in his movements either, because walking forward would just make the little dots melt right onto him, but it wasn’t too hard to stop to admire each of their unique, individual shapes, a feat that most people were unable to see because they melted far too quickly before they could properly pay the attonage that such works of nature begged for.

With his ability, though, he had all the time in the world to give nature all of the appreciating that it wanted.

The crunch in the snow snapped him out of his thoughts, though he wasn’t scared at all, because the sounds were an indication of the person who he so desperately wanted to see again, and so he calmly turned around, bracing himself for the beauty that he was inevitably going to see.

No amount of preparation could truly ever prepare him for the sight of her, because the snow in her hair made her look like an absolute angel, decorating the strands as if they were a crown of some sort, and the coldness had left a rosy tint in her cheeks. There was a scarf wrapped around her neck, and she looked to be the epitome of all that winter embodied. When his eyes met hers, she beamed at him, a sort of smile that caused a light to shine in her eyes and crinkles to appear.

“I knew I was going to see you today,” she told him, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice, “The first snow of the year is always the best snow of the year.”

“Correction: every snow of the year is always the best snow of the year.”

“Does that mean that I’ll see you each snowfall?”

“If that’s what makes it the best snow, then yeah.”

Her smile seemed to grow exponentially at his words. “I usually get terrified whenever time freezes, but right now, it really does feel like a Winter Wonderland. How have you been? Have you been well?”

“I reckon I am now that you’re here,” he said, finding it difficult to not be smiling with the contagiousness of her evident joy. “What about you? I mean, clearly you’re happy, and that’s bloody great, but how have your days been before?”

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind,” she admitted, and his heart felt as if it was flying right up into the sky, wanting to get lost in the clouds, “There’s just something so memorable about a man who can literally make time stop as he so desires.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I can’t stop time though,” she said, and she reached upwards, pulling a snowflake from his hair and watching as it melted in her hand.

“Well, I beg to differ.”

“Oh?”

“It feels like time stops whenever I look at you.”

Confusion flew across her face. “Time is frozen.”

“No, not like— fuck.” In one quick motion, he made the snow begin to fall as scheduled once again. “You make it almost like time slows down to me.”

Comprehension dawned on her face in the form of redness on her cheeks. “You’re exaggerating it.”

“Not a bit.”

She looked so beautiful with the snowflakes tickling her face, decorating the sleeves of her jacket, and her colours— vibrant reds and greens— reflected the merriness of this wonderful time while also contrasting against the stark whiteness of the snow. “James—”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked her, and he wished that it had come naturally for them, but he just couldn’t help the words from falling out of his lips, “Only except I’ve been dreaming for this moment since that night, and only if you want to, obviously.”

She didn’t answer him— or least, not immediately— only blinking at him, and he so desperately wished that he could freeze time, freeze her, so that he could make his getaway, because it was so obvious that she was going to turn him down, that his request was far too sudden for her to grant. He felt like an absolute idiot, and though he had never intended for his abilities to appear as an attempt to woo the other gender, perhaps it was coming off as such to her.

His hand flew up to his hair when she only continued looking up at him, and he’d nearly begun to give it up, to tell her to forget about it and leave her in the snow, but right when he’d turned around, he heard the sounds of the snow crunching behind him. It was as if the world had quickly spun in front of his eyes, had progressed forward in such a manner that he found it difficult to keep up, because the next thing that he knew, the next thing that his brain was processing was the mere fact that he was kissing her.

He felt warmth enveloping his lips, and in the moment before he’d closed his eyes, he noticed just how slowly the world seemed to be moving for him, as if it had decided to shut down solely for them, as if it had built everything that had ever happened in his life for this event. He was frozen with the coldness of the world, yet she somehow brought heat all throughout him, and that mere fact was comforting enough for him to close his eyes, to bask in the beauty that was her.

It was short and sweet, and before he knew it, she had pulled away from him, though it didn’t change the fact that her eyes seemed brighter than they had been before, didn’t change the fact his lips continued to tingle afterwards. “Just so you know, I didn’t kiss you because you saved my life.”

“I— yeah, no. I know,” he let out. Way to be smooth, James. “That’s not usually why women kiss me, anyway.”

Her eyebrows flew upwards. “Sorry?”

“Shit, I mean, fuck. I didn’t mean it like that, swear.” During times like these, he truly, madly, deeply wished that he instead had the ability to go back in time, but he wasn’t going to be picky about the power that the universe deemed him worthy of holding, even if it did turn him into more of an arrogant arse.

Of course the person with whom he’d fumble his words would be the one person who was unaffected by his ability to stop time, and he wished he could melt into a puddle just so as to not bear such embarrassment in front of the one person he wanted to impress. It wasn’t until she’d spoke that he’d realised that he was merely being overdramatic, and she said, “I know. I was only messing with you.”

“You were— what?”

“Why do you think I kissed you?”

“Shit, I think I’ll be digging my own grave no matter what I tell you.”

“You won’t,” she said, and then she gave him a coy smile, “If you want, you could freeze time, and I’ll play along so you could make your escape.”

“I don’t reckon you’re really going to let me do that.”

She shook her head. “Not at all.”

“Then, you kissed me because you find me irresistibly attractive and charming?”

“Are you stating it or asking it?”

“I dunno,” he said, shrugging, “I don’t want to come off as a self-absorbed prick if I say it like a statement.”

“You won’t, because you are very much ‘irresistibly attractive and charming,’ as so you put it,” she assured him, and to confirm her words, he watched her stand on the very tips of her toes, reaching up to press another kiss to his lips. It was probably supposed to be brief, but he couldn’t help it, securing his arms around her waist as he pulled her closer to him, and— perhaps as ironic emphasis more than anything else— he willed time to stop, the world literally stilling around them.

The snow stopped falling, and the distant blares of the city became mute once more as the only sound that he could focus on was her soft laugh, muffled slightly on his lips. She pulled away just when he’d gotten comfortable. “Did you really just stop time for a kiss?”

“Do you blame me?” he replied, “Really adds on to the magic, I’d say.”

Her eyes crinkled in response, and she playfully squeezed his arms. “Turn it back.”

He watched as snow lighted dotted the top of her hair and felt his lips quirking upwards at the sight, beauty falling right upon beauty. “It’s back to normal now, but I swear, once I look into your eyes again it’ll just start stopping on its own again.”

“For you, maybe. Not for me.”

“Yeah? Look into my eyes then. Tell me you’re not getting lost in the colours.”

She laughed. “You’re just going to use your ability on me if I do look at your eyes.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, “Or maybe I’ll just give in and kiss you again with your granted consent.”

He watched as her eyes— swirling with fascination and joy— light up even more, perhaps to the point that they could melt the snow right then and there if they so wanted to, at his words, and she was a snowflake of her own, the sort in which she truly was unique, so distinguishable from the rest.

If he could choose a moment to freeze and cherish forever, he would choose this very moment, wanting to capture the breathtaking image of her to engrave onto his brain. And growing in the very depths of his heart was a strong feeling, a feeling that could not lie to him, that told him he’d continue to have many more of these wondrous moments.

Now though, as he grinned down at the beautiful redhead, he was going to put his full heart and mind into ensuring that she was going to enjoy their time together as well.

And time, it seemed, was forever going to be on their side.

He had his ability to prove it, much to the future joy— and occasional chagrin— of Lily.

#jily #james and lily #james potter #lily evans #james x lily #jily fic #jily fanfiction #jily fanfic #lsj writes #jily au

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doyoungscarrot · 5 years

Text

Neon Pink

Anon asked: Would you do a scenario with Jaehyun based on song by The Weeknd - High for This? Your blog is AWEsome

A/N: Hello Honeys~ I’m back and I’m so sorry to the anon that requested this long time ago, I feel the need to explain myself with you, I’ve been sick since before Chirstmas and for that sometimes I need to take long breaks from social media (I suffer form depression and anxiety so thats why) but I don’t like to feel like that so I’m back hshshs I hope you enjoy this and please reblog if you like it.

Word count: I don’t know, someone please tell me.

Warning: Mentions of drugs and alcohol | Making out | PG17+

The neon pink shadowing the lips around the base of a cigarrette of your brother’s best friend, was highlighted by the effect of the small sheet of LSD you swallow earlier that night, maybe... maybe it was the makeout session the two of you hold before in his room, either ways his lips were neon pink.

You clearly remember the words your brother spat one hour earlier before arriving the party his frat was helding “You’re not going to be alone, I’m not going to get missed in the middle of the party, I pinky promise that” of course when Ten, the teacher assistan he was trying to lay on hid bed, appeared in the party this shitty twin brother of you got lost at the speed of the light, but of course he sticked to his words, Jaehyun, his best friend, was there with you and contrary to your silly brother believings, he was there with pure willing.

You met Jaehyun on 3rd grade of elementary school, a cute boy with pink lips and cute cheeks eating a lollipop on the playground inside the school, you grow up together, he looked at you as “a brother” until one autumn night in high school when your brother went out and you were in the shower, the always uncalled friend Jung Jaehyun went into the house with his silent presence and his silent ways to open the door to the shower, “Cover your self!” “But I’m showering!! GET OUT!” yes that memory of Jaehyun flustered was awesome, and after that everything did a 180°flip, the constant tension and flirting between the two of you went unnoticed by your brother.

“This is boring...” He said close to your ears, lips caressing your skin, “Where’s your brother?” he asked you.

“You think I know where is he?” you said trying to hide the pink that covered your face “Do you have something better than here Mr boring pants?” you turned to face him, pink lips gracing yours.

An strong grab around your wrist and an amused smirk on Jaehyuns face, “I nearly forgot, let’s go” messy hallways and noisy rooms, dark places with strangers making out, one of those was your brother sitting on the lap of an small thai man, deciding to storage it on the backons of your mind for future blackmail.

A sudden silence and refreshing breeze and again soon after a warm view of a familiar room, “Well you brought me to the second most boring place on earth now what”

“So funny, the oher day your brother asked me to get him something, because apparently he’s not aware of his younger sibling hobbies...”

“I wouldn’t call making out with Taeyong in the library a hobbie but that’s up to you Mr. Boring pants.”, whenever the name Taeyong went out from your mouth, Jaehyun’s jealousy was obvious, he was aware that even if you two werent dating th fact that you, decided to make out and other businesses as you liked to call them went between you and the player of Lee Taeyong, made his blood boil and his possesive nature to flow as well.

“I’m going to ignore that name for tonight” he said sitting right in front of you, “I still don’t know why you prefer that guy when I’m right here” he said placing the small squares of LSD your brother wanted to try, for you that wasn’t a new expirience, you always were the Rebel family member, the one with bad grades, and Jaehyun was the same as you, probably because he spent too much time flirting with you, “erase that smug smile of your face princess” his slender long fingers took you from the back of your head, the small sheet on his tongue calling for you to take it from his, his lips pressing soon after you let him start a kiss.

if there was something you really loved from Jaehyun’s face that was his lips, ´plump pink lips, soft lips that felt like feathers playing on yours giving them small tickles and a heavenly feeling, the felt like silk, smoothingly tracing patterns against yours.

You drove your hands to his hoodie, lifting it a bit to let your hands start tracing patterns against his stomach, he wraped his arms around your waist, pulling you to sit on his lap.

His lips leave a velvety feeling along every space of your body they touched, your blouse leaving your body after some minutes along his hoodie, his body was warm, his hands started feeling a bit too cloudy, a cloud like touch and his lips too smooth and silky, sloppy kisses and silly touches started to be made after some minutes.

“You look like an angel” he said with a lazy voice, a shy smile, or probably just a lazy one, left your mouth, your lips kissed his face, his cheeks, his forehead, “your so soft, why are you naked Jae?” if you didnt knew any better, you could swear you were just sleepy, but if Jaehyun was so pink under your sight it probably was the effect of the LSD from a minute, was it a minute? whatever, it made his effect.

“Let’s go back to the party, your brother hopefully is done with whtever shit he was into” putting on his hoodie and him wearing another one, the two of you leave the room, making your way to the party, the way to the fraternity building was full of stop and make out, you weren’t so sure the marks on your skin were hickeys or not, his messy hair and your interwined fingers, felt safe enough to let him embrace you in a drunk aroma of peach bubblegum.

“Jaehyun!” the voice of your brother sound too far even when he was in front of you and Jae, “where have the of you been? It’s been three hours” he stopd and looked at the two, smile and then sighed “Well, I guess it’s time to go, I’ll go bring the car, wait here for me.” your brothers made his way out of the building.

“I want to dance with you” Jaehyun said silently and close to your ear “MAy I dance with you?” He asked, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding your hand, he started dancing a vals, that probably wasnt being played but the two of you were curiously imagining playing at the back, the dance started and you made your way to the middle of the dancefloor, his eyes never leaving your face, framed by a neon green light, yours never leaving the neon pink that showerd his figure in front of you, another kiss and so many touches, anxiously searching for a more private place inside the party.

What you could describe like a couch soon was your new bed, the two of you started another slow making out session.

“I guess they’re staying here for another minute” Your brother sighed, meanwhile giggles and lazy touches were being exchange between you and Jaehyun.

“I can’t, not now, we need to wait” the nodding he gave you and his lazy kisses stopped after some minutes, “I want to remember this, I want this to feel real and not just it to happen”

“Hey, please date me” Jaehyun asked in the childiest way you never imagine, “I thought you asked me earlier, but yes I’ll date you” you answered.

#jung jaehyun #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #jaehyun scnearios #nct jaehyun scenarios

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darkhymns-fic · 5 years

Text

Parallels

As a Chosen, Lloyd will be expected to take on the journey to complete the World Regeneration. Of course he would rather stay in the village with Colette and live his life alongside her.

At the very least, he could give her something to remember him by.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Raine Sage, Genis Sage, Dirk Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: This was written for @frayed-symphony for a Secret Santa exchange! This fic was based off her Chosen Lloyd concept which she has drawn fantastic art for (here and here). I’m so glad I was given the opportunity to write something for you and for this idea also! (And over 8000k, I’m sorry haha). You’ve been an awesome friend and this story is just a small way of saying thank you!!

Lloyd

On one of Lloyd’s past birthdays – 14 to be exact – Colette had seemed surprised that he was getting her a present instead.

“But, it’s your birthday! I should be getting you something…” Although she couldn’t take her eyes off the little carving of a doggy figure he was just finishing up. They were far from the Church, far from Colette’s house even, in a part of Iselia’s forests where few others would stumble upon them. At least not yet.

“Hm, I don’t really care about my birthday that much,” he said once, and maybe that had already been too much. But just then, he had just finished his gift, remembering what the dwarf had taught him when the pastors weren’t paying attention. “And it’s more fun making stuff for you!”

He would never forget the way Colette’s eyes lighted up. How happy she seemed to be at one of his first attempts at crafting. But as long as Dirk kept visiting the church, and as long as Colette kept being his friend, he wanted to give her even more.

In the distance, they heard some voices call out to Lloyd. Although not by his name.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Colette said then. “I hope I don’t get you in trouble.” She held the doggy statue safely in her palms.

Chosen, Chosen One the wind kept repeating. Lloyd shook it away.

He took her hand then, the one free of the statue, and smiled. “Hey, if you want to get me a present, you should take me exploring! I don’t think we’ve done much of it lately.”

Colette had smiled too, gripping the boy’s hand tight. Once they rushed away from the voices, Lloyd had sometimes imagined that they were both running away from those voices forever…

“Chosen! Chosen One!”

Lloyd had been trying to work on the necklace for the past three weeks, but there was always something interrupting him. The knock on his door, along with the insistent calling, was just another one of those.

He instantly put away his tools and the nearly finished necklace in a small tin box. Doing it fast enough while also not scratching up the jewelry proved to be a bit challenging, and he probably just made more noise that way. He could already hear the pastor grumbling outside his door. “J-just a minute!” he called out, going to a nearby cabinet.

“Chosen, this is the fourth time this week you have been late for your lessons. Punctuality is highly important-”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem!” Lloyd was trying to fasten up his outfit. It always felt so stiff and hard to move around in, but just getting away with the shirt and pants he slept in never cut it. (He tried). Once everything was set, he finally opened the door, totally not looking like he had been up half the night working on his project. “Okay, I’m set!”

Even after a lifetime of being at the Church, he never knew how to talk to the pastors, always so proper and formal in their speech. The old man looked at Lloyd with a certain air of disapproval – just a little bit, for he was still to be the savior of their world after all. He inclined his head slightly to Lloyd, maybe too much. Lloyd thought the big hat he wore would fall off from the action, and even shifted a little to catch it if it did.

“You’ve been doing so well lately in your memorization of the scriptures, Chosen. It would be beneficial of you to simply focus on that than on other, less vital pursuits.”

…Crap, did the old man already find out what he’d been doing? Lloyd shifted nervously on his feet, which probably didn’t help his image. “I just overslept a little! Sleeping is pretty important!”

The pastor didn’t argue, because it was frowned upon to argue with the Chosen. A little loophole that Lloyd had found out about when he was little, and may have used it to his advantage numerous times.

Well, until his dad got involved.

Lloyd pushed that thought aside and was more or less nudging the pastor away from his room’s door to get going. “Anyway, uh, let’s go! Got a lot of books to get through!” And man, was there a lot of books. He could read fast and well with all the years of book-reading he was forced to do. Not like he enjoyed it, but what else could he do?

“My, I must apologize then, Chosen. It is good to see you eager for a lesson!”

Lloyd put on a big smile until the pastor turned away to head for the stairs. Once unseen, he was back to frowning. The old man really was old and had not noticed Lloyd had long stopped following him. The Chosen watched him descend the steps, then leaned back against the wall, sighing so deeply it pulled at his chest.

Was there really a point in having more lessons?

As a Chosen, there wasn’t much Lloyd was allowed to do, and there weren’t many places he was allowed to go either. He was salvation itself, so he needed to be safe, and to stay safe, he needed to remain within the Church at nearly all times until he went to school. Going to school had always been something he’d look forward.

But as time passed, it was getting harder to enjoy much of anything.

Anything except the necklace, which he had been working on day and night – whenever the priests weren’t paying attention. At the very least, he could leave something behind for her, hoping that was enough.

And… if he had to choose, he would rather go through all this than anyone else… He imagined briefly of another dealing with the role of Chosen and it only made the ache inside him worse.

It was better this way.

Down the stairs’ corridor, he could hear the confused mutterings of the priest. He rolled his eyes and quickly followed after. Just something he would have to go through. Again.

…Still, these lessons dealt with way, way too many books.

Living at the Church did have some benefits though.

For one, it was right by the beach, which Lloyd had definitely snuck off to on more than one occasion. Colette had worried if it was okay for him to go, and Genis had worried he would trip against one of the rocks and crack his head open, thus ruining Sylvarant’s one chance at salvation. But that had only nearly happened one time! Making highly detailed sand castles with Colette, and burying a napping Genis in the sand, were things he didn’t ever want to trade away for just being safely cooped up in his room.

Another was that he got to see Dirk a whole lot.

Just after another mind-numbing book lesson, he made his way down to the atrium, the place more wide, the walls helping reverberate the sounds of his footsteps. He was glad to see the dwarf there, already setting up another work sculpture of Martel. Or maybe it was Mithos? Lloyd still had trouble telling the difference sometimes. He really, really tried to keep that fact hidden from his instructors. It had worked so far!

The dwarf turned to him, his bushy beard hiding half of his face, but not his grin. Hands were on both of his hips, eyes angled up at the boy that was slightly taller than him.

“Ah, Lloyd! Ya look ready to fall asleep on yer feet!”

“Ehehe… I’m fine! Really!” A tiny stumble against one of the pews but Lloyd more or less righted himself up. The dwarf merely shook his head.

“Well! I was just finished with my work. Need anything?”

Sometimes Lloyd wondered what made the dwarf come back here so much. He had been here ever since Lloyd was little, seen much more of him than of… Anyway, he was always traveling around so much, working on crafting commissions, sometimes even bringing back a souvenir he had bought on the road. Lloyd still had some of them; one of the famous Palma Potions from Palmacosta, some pottery from Triet, and even a cool-looking wooden figure of a swordsman! Dirk hadn’t specified where he got that last one, making Lloyd think he had made it himself.

He had thought about asking him many times before. But the years kept passing, and the day for when he would leave was only getting closer. He figured there was really no point in asking now.

Instead, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the necklace he had poured everything into. He held it up for Dirk. “You think this looks any good?”

The dwarf placed a hand on his chin, mock-deep in thought. “Hm, I don’t think that color works on ya.”

“Not for me!”

Dirk laughed loudly, his voice bouncing across the walls of the Church. After so much stress on being quiet within these walls, the dwarf’s laugh was welcome. He held out his hand. “Here, let me see.”

Excited to show off his work, but also worried on being judged, Lloyd gave it to him quickly. “I, uh… kinda had to rush through it this morning. But I think I got the size right this time! And, I didn’t waste the metal like you said and-”

“Hold on a bit, Lloyd.”

“Right, sorry.”

Dirk was holding up the necklace by its chain. The sunlight from the stained windows glinted off its pendant, a deep red jewel embedded in its center. After a brief look, the dwarf was grinning. “Really outdone yourself for this one.” He gathered it back carefully in his palm. “The chain work is strong, and the pendant is much more even this time. Not completely! Still need some work on that.” He handed it back to Lloyd. “She’ll be very happy with it.”

With Dirk’s praise, Lloyd felt something lift off his shoulders. The weight of everything else was still there… but this one thing, it gave him some lightness.

He held the necklace in both his hands before putting it away. “Thanks!”

“Yer welcome, lad. But.. I gather you still have more on your mind?”

Man, was he this easy to read with everyone now? Lloyd shook his head. “Nah, not really. Just bored with the same things, like always.”

“But your training should be giving ya some excitement.” Dirk crossed his arms, finally resting his legs by seating on a nearby stool. “And ya still got that sword I gave ya? The one the priests said was lost?”

Lloyd scratched at his cheek, grinning. “Hey, I did lose it! But then I found it again. Who knew it was under my bed this whole time?”

Dirk grinned back, laughing into his beard. “A shame it was not before they asked me to make you another one to continue with your training. But I suppose it’s good that you have a spare.”

Lloyd nodded at that. “Yep! And, well, can’t leave your other sword to waste. So it’s only better to use both, right?”

Both Dirk’s and Lloyd’s plan for him to use dual blades should have been so see-through, but once Lloyd started training with his double weapons, the priests couldn’t find much to argue with. The Chosen had to know how to defend himself, after all. And… his logic did make some sort of sense to them. Wouldn’t two weapons be better than one?

The dwarf shook his head. “Mighty clever thinking there! I’m sure that will help on your journey.”

The mention of the journey put a dark cloud in Lloyd’s head suddenly. Right. In the end, that was the point of the swords anyway. To protect himself until…

“Also!” Dirk’s voice broke through, and he watched as the dwarf reached around him towards a satchel, bringing it towards the front. “Got my latest commission done! And no worries. The Church will take care of the bill when they see it later.” He handed the folded clothes to Lloyd.

His eyes widened in glee at the design. “You already made it! Nice!”

“Fitting for a master swordsman and a Chosen, right?” Dirk seemed pleased as well. “At the very least, these would help you move around better, and has a place for your swords.”

Lloyd would have gone to hug the dwarf if he could – or if that wasn’t a bit weird. “I’m definitely wearing these from now on!”

Even as Dirk looked very pleased, he stared at Lloyd with another expression, one that Lloyd couldn’t place. “You’ve been doing a lot lately, lad. I hope you remember to rest in between all your work.”

In all fairness, this was a first that he ever heard come from an adult. Usually there was always something do, another thing to learn… “Ah, I’m okay enough. Besides, I’m taking your advice on things!”

“Oh, that so?”

“Yep!” Lloyd nodded. He had his new clothes underneath one arm, standing proudly. “Dwarven vow #4! Don’t depend on others. Walk on your own two legs.” He then grinned, glad he could remember that right! He only knew a few of the vows Dirk had mentioned to him, but some like those stood out. “I’m taking that as my mortal from now on!”

Dirk raised a bushy eyebrow. “Think you mean motto there, lad.”

“…Huh. That does make a lot more sense.”

“I thought ya read a lot.”

“I did! I do! Just, after a while of non-stop reading, all the words start to look the same…”

Still, the dwarf smiled. “Anyway… I’m glad you think my old sayings are of any interest. However, here’s another for ya. Dwarven vow #7! Justice and love will always win!”

“…That doesn’t sound as cool at all!”

It was easy to talk with Dirk, easier than most other adults. His dad sometimes just… well…

He saw the light in the sky in a nearby stained-glass window and flinched a little. “Oh, shoot. I gotta go. I’ll wear these though!” He held up the clothes then made his way back to his room, waving back at the dwarf. “I’ll see ya later!”

“Don’t trip over the stairs again!” Dirk called out, his bellowing voice finding every nook and crevice in the room. The pastors would have hated such a sound, but Lloyd was ecstatic. At least for now.

“…Is that a new outfit?”

Lloyd had been waiting forever for someone to comment on it, and Genis was never one to disappoint. He put his hands on his hips, knowing the euphoria he felt would be brief but trying to take as much as he could. “Yeah! Special tailor-cut for me!”

Genis looked to his Chosen best friend with a curious air. And maybe some suspicion. “Huh. Suits you better. Even those weird suspenders you have seem to work.”

“What do you mean weird?” Lloyd asked with a small frown.

“Nothing! I said they worked. I don’t get those white strips on your collar but… they also work, too.” Genis stared at Lloyd with more thought. “Yeah, this literally wouldn’t look good on anyone else.”

“Remind me to never come to you for compliments.”

Even as the younger boy laughed, Lloyd was grateful for Genis’ honesty. It was hard finding that in most people around him when they spoke with him. It was harder finding that in himself. He pulled at the, high collar in his new outfit, hoping someone else he knew would like it too. Or at least like it enough.

“You haven’t been to school in a while,” Genis hedged. Lloyd had just come back to Iselia as he walked from the Church, both of them meeting right by the schoolhouse. The day was already late, classes long over. Easier this way. Less people to speak with, less incredibly boring phrases to recite. “Chosen duties getting too much for you?”

It was meant as a joke. Lloyd didn’t really have it in him to laugh along to it though. He pulled at his collar, feeling an anxiousness to him that he had been stemming down for so long, but was slowly beginning to rise the past few months. “Just things. It’s nothing really.”

When Lloyd was quiet like, his friends always noticed. Genis raised his head, noting the tone. “Sorry. That was stupid to say.”

“It’s fine. Really!” He grinned, glad that the collar of his new outfit could hide away some of the strain there. “There’s been a lot of things lately anyway. I only had time now to even leave.”

Genis stared a little, but gave Lloyd some relief when his young eyes lost some intensity. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell them you snuck out again.”

“Heh… thanks.”

“Anyway, I know you’re not here to see me.” It was then Genis grinned, much brighter than Lloyd’s, much more hopeful than Lloyd could ever imagine to be. “Colette’s been talking about you all day. I don’t know how or when you got Noishe to deliver her a letter, but she was real happy about it.”

Noishe was his father’s dog first and foremost, but the creature always did him favors. And with Kratos having been gone for so long lately, it just made it easier.

“Shut up,” Lloyd muttered jokingly, and Genis only laughed again, the awkwardness about his duty of being a Chosen momentarily forgotten.

He wished it could be forgotten completely.

When he was younger, Lloyd had always wanted to travel the world, to see what it had to offer. When he was younger, the Church told him that he would someday, and he had looked forward to it, excitement lighting up his mind.

But on his eighth birthday, all that excitement went away.

Lloyd sat on the outskirts of Iselia, the grass around him still a bright green, the sky darkening as the sun began to set. He had been there early – a first for him. But for Colette, he would go the extra mile.

He heard her trip over the ground before he even saw her.

“Ah, s-sorry! I messed up.” He turned, finding Colette brushing away the grass stains from her dress, just a few feet away. Her blonde hair was a bit frazzled from her fall, but she still smiled.

Gloomy thoughts instantly went away at the sight of her.

“You’re such a dork. You didn’t need to rush here, you know.” Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she sat next to him. She was always so cheerful and bright, and it made the world a little less scary to Lloyd when she was near him.

But it also made him feel bitter over the things he would miss as well.

“I know! Just, um..” Colette fiddled with her hands. “It’s been really boring the last few weeks without you. I was so happy seeing Noishe show up to my house! Though I think my grandmother’s sneezes might have scared him a little, sorry.”

“Oh. Oh right! I forgot she’s allergic..” Gah, why did he have to be stupid about these things? That explained why Noishe was all frantic when he came back. Even the sound of a twig snapping put the dog in a panic. “I guess I should have sent a person instead…”

“No, no! I was really glad to get it from Noishe… I missed petting him, hehe.” She pulled in her knees, looking at Lloyd with such curious eyes. “You said you got a new outfit from Dirk! It looks so cool on you!”

“Heh, yeah, it does make me cool, doesn’t it?” He smiled, sitting up straight. “It’s even got the Church of Martel symbol on it, see?” He pointed at his vest. Dirk had suggested it as one way to curb away any disdain from his pastors. With this symbol, it was still Chosen-appointed clothes. And with Dirk’s many, many work contributions to the Church, the pastors couldn’t deny him either. “It’s way better than the robe things they always make me wear.”

Colette nodded. “Yeah! You even have these cute ribbons.” She played with one now, always reaching out to Lloyd with little reserve, and Lloyd always glad she did. He was not someone far off or otherworldly like so many other people would view him as. “Are they meant to do anything?”

Lloyd thought about this. “Um… to make me look cool!” Just saying that made him laugh, and made Colette laugh too. It had been weeks since he felt this relaxed, and happy. It would be weeks that he would not feel this again.

He thought the time away would make him forget, but it only brought everything out in full force.

Lloyd was already handing her the necklace before he thought too hard about it.

Colette stared. “Lloyd?”

“I… I’ve been working on this for a little bit. Just to keep busy.” Just to make the days bearable. “Probably not as good as Dirk does it… but he can’t really teach me stuff for very long because of..”

Colette carefully took the necklace in both hands, eyes shining. “It’s so pretty! You… you always make such beautiful things, Lloyd.”

There was always something in her voice that stopped him, that made him wonder… While Genis and Raine always called him by his name, the way Colette does so was always different. It always pulled at him in a way that was sweet and painful. It had gotten too painful lately. Raine had already let him know today… only a month left before he would need to go.

“Is this really for me?” she asked, surprising Lloyd out of his thoughts.

“Yeah! This can replace the that other one I made for you a few years ago. That was all uneven anyway.”

“Oh, I still have that too… and the doggy figure! It’s still on my bookshelf!”

As Lloyd was momentarily stunned at that information, Colette circled the chain around her neck, the red jewel glinting in the waning sunlight. “I know you have so much to do lately. But I’m so happy!”

Some of that happiness got to him too. He wished he could keep it. “Heh. I wanted to give it you before I-“ He stopped.

“Before you what?”

He had nearly told her then. Lloyd had been trying so hard to keep quiet about things, about what will happen, about what he would have to face. But Colette was looking at him, and suddenly he was ready to tell her everything.

That wouldn’t have been fair though. At least one of them should be happy?

“Before I go on my journey, I mean.” His voice was quieter, which was hard to change. “I’ll probably be gone a while, so I wanted to give that to you first.”

At that, Colette was quiet too. Again, something that made him wonder. She looked ready to ask him a question. He anticipated it, unsure if he could keep lying.

Then she smiled. “I’ll miss you so much.” She kept holding the necklace in her palm, the sun making her hair shine. “I’m glad you wanted to come out here with me today.”

Lloyd wanted to hug her, and he did. That was one thing he would let himself do. He brought her close to his chest with a strong grip, and Colette held him back, her hands holding tight onto his new outfit. He didn’t care if it was wrinkled or whatever.

“Of course I wanted to,” he said softly. Then he pulled back, a smile on his face. “And once I regenerate the world, I’ll come right back again, okay? So don’t worry about anything!”

Colette kept one hand on Lloyd’s arm, while the other clasped the necklace again, pendant going between her fingers. At least, she would have something of him left.

“You don’t have to go back so soon, do you?” she then asked. The sun was nearly past the horizon, and the stars blinked up from their places in the sky. “Maybe, you can tell me what you’ve been doing? Not much happened in the village though.. so I’m sorry if I’m a little boring.”

Lloyd laughed. “Colette, I usually just stay inside and read old books all day. Believe me, nothing is more boring than that. And definitely not you! So no more apologizing, okay?”

If a pastor heard this – if his dad heard this – he’d have been in trouble. The most would have been a stern lecture, but he had heard nothing but lectures for weeks. Colette’s happy voice was such a difference for everything.

He could enjoy things for one day.

Colette was smiling again, looking beautiful as she always did. “Okay!”

So they both sat back, and they talked. Once the sun had long set, they were still seated by each other. Through all that time, Colette had not let go of the necklace. He wanted to keep that image of her for as long as he could.

Colette

“Colette… are you sure this is even the right way?”

Having never been out of Iselia her entire life, Colette didn’t know much about the world or which road led to where – especially to Triet. She sighed within the desert heat. The clothes she wore were different from her usual outfit for school, made of thicker material, with hidden compartments to sheathe away her chakrams. But it was doing her no favors in this sandy place where the sun beat down relentlessly.

“I… I’m not sure. Not anymore, I guess. I’m sorry, Genis.”

Genis sighed too, but out of exasperation. “You really don’t need to apologize… We probably should have brought a map before we left.”

“But, that nice caravan family pointed us to here! I don’t think they would lie to us..”

Genis shrugged. “I know. I’m just saying maybe we shouldn’t have rushed.”

There were a million things Colette could have argued on why they had to rush, but, she kept them to herself. She pulled at her shirt which was getting sticky with sweat, and she checked to see that her chakrams were indeed still on her.

Lloyd had left Iselia the other day. It had been so sudden, before she had time to prepare. Even Raine had not given her any indication that they would leave so soon. Or maybe that was the reason she hadn’t said anything…

“But it is weird, isn’t it?” Genis said aloud, following Colette still. “Lloyd and sis just leaving in the night like that.”

Colette wanted to say what she knew, but Lloyd had kept it a secret for a reason. She didn’t feel comfortable revealing it. Not yet at least. “Yeah,” she simply agreed. “They must have had to go right away.”

“…And Lloyd said you were supposed to go?”

“Uh huh!” She nodded, then giggled. A little difficult with how hot it was, but she managed. “I already told you that, Genis!”

“Yeah… I know.” His tone was low, unconvinced, or really, it could have just been the heat. “Well, sis was obviously supposed to bring me along too. Her and Lloyd really don’t pay attention to things sometimes.”

Colette inwardly sighed, feeling relieved. That was why Genis overlooked her obvious lie – he had one of his own. The people most important to them have left them alone, so there was no choice but to follow. Even if they were probably lost, and very, very dehydrated.

But I have to keep going, she thought to herself. As she plodded through the sands, she felt a familiar weight hitting her chest. She had not taken off the necklace ever since Lloyd first gave her a month ago. Then before his birthday had even come, the Church said he had already gone on his journey.

Colette fervently wanted to be with him, and with barely a word to her family, she had gone, leaving them a letter instead. She hoped her father and grandmother could forgive her.

“Oh! Is that it?” Genis was saying, and though still dizzy with heat, Colette was able to understand what he meant. Because just ahead was a walled city, standing so far apart from the sandy dunes. There were the figures of people walking by its entrance, and before she knew it, Colette was hurrying towards it. Any worries about maybe being a mirage from the desert did not cross her mind.

She heard Genis shouting after her, also giving chase, but she had to find Lloyd. Each day before he left, she had thought about telling him so many things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if he had gone and then finished his journey. Once she entered Triet, the amount of market stalls were new to her! People in turbans shifted past her, not minding this pale girl with the light-colored hair. She started to walk off in a random direction, hoping to ask someone if they had seen… the Chosen around. She would have to call him that if they were-

“Lloyd!” she shouted, finding him at the edge of her vision. She hadn’t expected him so soon, seeing the boy to the far side of the plaza, trying to usher in a whining Noishe in one of the stables. He was already looking exhausted doing so. He still had on his new outfit, but now wore belts that held his weapons. She knew of them – it was why she had started using two of her own!

Colette grew excited, waving her arms to him. It took a moment before she saw Lloyd peer through the distance, and then his eyes widened. She started to go to him.

“Lloyd, I-!” And then she had tripped. She tripped so frantically that she had completely turned around, trying her best to avoid surprised passerby. Unfortunately, the only way to avoid them was to go straight into a wall.

She heard Lloyd shout her name back once she finally fell.

“You know… you need to be more careful.”

Colette nodded silently as Lloyd pressed a small bandage on her forehead. It was only a minor scrape, that was what she usually got out of her falls. Although the stall she had fallen into had not been so lucky.

Once Colette had gotten out of the rubble, Lloyd had been rushing to her, eyes wide with surprise. The owner of the stall had been furious, seeing a Colette-shaped wall in his property… until Lloyd tried to calm the man down. There had been murmurs and stutters of the boy being the Chosen.

“Uh, yeah? That’s me,” Lloyd said, still trying to placate the man. “Anyway, she didn’t mean it! Colette just-”

“But why would such a hole be important to the Chosen?” the owner had continued. That had given Lloyd pause, slow in understanding, but then recovering quickly enough to avoid any further trouble.

“Because… it’s an important Church.. landmark?” Lloyd had winced at his own explanation, but no one seemed to notice besides Colette. “Yeah! To mark my pilgrimage… and junk. I, uh, I bless this thing!” He patted against the mark perfectly shaped like Colette’s falling body – the imprint of her arms raised high to try and avoid the inevitable. “It’s really important! It was made by my companion on the journey! So don’t be mad at her or… risk the wrath of Martel! Wait, is that right…?”

Yet even with Lloyd’s shaky explanations, that had been enough to send the crowd surrounding them into gasps of wonder. Soon people were touching the hole in the wall, now blessed by the Chosen, and that was when Lloyd took Colette’s hand and got them out of there fast.

She had seen Genis with a frowning Raine earlier, and wondered dimly if she had only gotten both herself and her friend in trouble. “I’m sorry,” she said, still seated on the chair.

“What? No, it’s fine! Someone would have tripped there sooner or later!” Lloyd had taken her into his room at the inn, worried about any injuries she may have had. “It’s not too bad. Just I guess the Professor should see later and then we can get someone to take you home-”

She knew he had been about to suggest that, and took his hands, gripping them tight. “I’m staying with you, Lloyd.”

She had expected a lot of reactions from Lloyd. Surprised at her determination, confused at why she would do so, and maybe even happy that she would go to him. But she didn’t expect the silence that followed suddenly. He didn’t grip her hands back.

Colette floundered for a moment, then instinctively reached for the necklace he gave her. It was hidden underneath her shirt, but she pulled it out, both to be reassured as well as to show him. “I want to help protect my friend on his journey… I’ve wanted to for a long time! My friend who makes wonderful things like this, and who’s always been kind to me. If I can just repay it back-”

“Colette, I didn’t ask you to come with me.”

She stopped, surprised by the sharpness in his voice. Lloyd blinked, then looked to the side.

“Lloyd, um…”

“I would have told you if I wanted-“ He bit his lip, then sighed. “This journey is supposed to be dangerous.”

Colette also looked away. “I know. That’s why I had to come.” A pause. “You’re mad at me.”

Lloyd dug a hand through his hair. “I’m… Just a little.” He sighed. “I didn’t want you to go through this too.”

Colette tried to search for a correct response. The best she could come up with, “Now you don’t have to be alone with it.”

“I have the Professor with me! Why do you-”

She gripped his hands tight, tight enough for the both of them. “I want to stay by your side, Lloyd! As.. my friend. And… I can help you. I won’t be a burden, I promise.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t say you would be.” She felt him finally hold her hands, at least slightly. “But it would be dangerous, I told you. You don’t even have an Exsphere or anything like it to-”

“I do!” Colette said suddenly. She calmed after. “I mean, I do. Look, it’s…” She rolled up the sleeve covering her right arm, showing a small key crest just on her forearm. It glinted blue, inlaid with polished metal. “I’ve been using this so I can fight off the monsters better.”

Lloyd looked at her Exsphere with complete surprise. “When did you get that?” Exspheres were not common to come by – it was mainly used by Desians or mercenaries.

“I… Dirk made me one. I saw him a while back and asked him if he could make me something. I told him I wanted to help you and he seemed really happy to do it.”

“…So.. he just had Exspheres lying around? He never told me!”

Colette blinked. “Oh. He said he’d been carrying one around for a long time.. It was the only one he had. I didn’t… ask him for an Exsphere exactly. Just if he had something that could help me.”

Lloyd continued to look surprised, confused, and a little betrayed. “But where would he just find one?” he asked, mainly to himself.

Colette wasn’t thinking about that now. She rolled down her sleeve, looking to Lloyd sternly. “I want to stay. And I know I can help you. So… please don’t turn me away.”

She saw him continue to struggle with his decision. His hands still held hers, a thumb rubbing across her palm. That somber look that she had seen Lloyd have lately – it was there again. There was once a time she didn’t know what would cause such a look in him.

He sighed again, but then small laughter left his throat. “Geez, Colette, you’re more stubborn than me.” He raised his head to her with a smile, even though it looked a bit sad still. She held his hands tighter in comfort.

“So, does that mean I can stay?”

“You’d just come back, I bet. You and Genis. I definitely didn’t expect him though!” He grinned wide then. “Missed his bestest friend, huh?”

Colette giggled, loving that grin of his. It was so rare now. “Well, he did say he missed Professor Sage…”

“Hey! What about me though?”

“It’s okay! I’ll miss you enough for the both of us!”

She wondered then, if that was a poor choice of words but Lloyd was still smiling. He even laughed.

“Heh, actually, um… does that mean Genis will be cooking for us now? The Professor keeps… wanting to do that lately.” Lloyd shuddered. “I could barely get through the first week.”

Oh no. Colette remembered the times their teacher had made the school lunch a few times. She giggled at Lloyd’s look. “I’m so sorry, Lloyd. I really am!” But she couldn’t stop laughing.

He smiled at that, even as he mocked sighed. “Are you making fun of me? Imagine the Chosen failing the journey because of indigestion. That’s embarrassing!”

It only made her giggle more, and soon Lloyd was laughing with her again.

Colette hoped she could keep him laughing throughout this journey.

Before Colette had left Iselia, she had decided to not mention what she knew to Lloyd. Even as she went over the knowledge in her head, searching for other ways, she knew it was not her place to say. But she could never fight off the feeling of wanting to be with him still. Once they had fought the guardian in the Fire Seal, she believed she could be useful while also being selfish.

A Chosen needed protectors, and she could even feel Raine’s gratefulness in having an extra pair of hands helping keep Lloyd from danger. He did run into monsters an awful lot…

Then Lloyd had nearly collapsed on the sands. She had never seen him so pale.

“Lloyd!” She caught him around the shoulders, and then he had just… kept slipping through her arms, making her hold on tighter. “Lloyd! Lloyd, wake up!”

“Wh…what?” He blinked dazedly at worried faces, leaning into Colette’s hold. “I was just… taking a nap.”

Genis’ expression went from worried to annoyed. “Are you serious?”

“Lloyd, how long have you been feeling faint?” Raine walked up to him, gripping her staff tight. “We may need to take you to a doctor.”

“I.. I’m fine! It’s fine!” Lloyd stood up again, gently moving away from Colette’s arms. “It’s just…the trial… I guess?”

Colette noted how quiet his voice had gotten then.

Raine was considering. “If that’s so… then we should at least make camp and let you rest. There’s an oasis not too far ahead. Genis, get started on dinner when we get there. Colette, please keep an eye on him.”

Lloyd stared at his Professor with some irritation. “I told you I’m fine. I’m not gonna run off!” Still, his voice was low.

But Colette knew there was something wrong.

After settling for the night, Lloyd had wanted to walk, and Colette hoped her presence wasn’t annoying him. But he seemed happy to have her near. They sat on the cool sands, the stars as outstretched as ever in the desert. Maybe they could find the same constellations here, too?

“Hey! Wanna see them again?” he asked her with a grin.

Colette’s smile must have been obvious, because Lloyd already summoned his wings. Great things that unfurled from his back in a great shift of azure light. Just like they had back in the Fire Seal. They framed him in a beautiful way that she wished she could say aloud without making it sound weird.

“That’s so cool!” she said, clasping her hands.

“Heh, yeah. Although…it’s kinda hard to get used to these.”

Colette tilted her head at him. “Your wings?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, they really do look cool! But… they’re kinda big, aren’t they?”

The night made his wings appear that much brighter. They were so much like a bird’s wings, nearly as large as Lloyd was tall. Colette was seated on his right side, and his right wing was curled around them both. She had been tempted to reach out to them, wondering if that glow would make sensations across her skin.

He shrugged. “I guess this is just what it means to be an angel or something.”

Colette pressed her lips together, not saying anything at first. She still remembered when Lloyd had paled, falling to his knees, and not responding to her at all…

“Well, you’re still you, Lloyd. Just with wings!” Maybe there were better ways to say it, but she had never been as good with talking as he was. “And…” She risked something here, but she continued. “Even if you’re an angel, you don’t have to like your wings.”

Lloyd turned to her more fully. She could even feel the wind shift behind her, his wings flinching from his motion. “What?”

“I mean…” She tried again. “You don’t have to like them. Because… it doesn’t seem like you do.” Nervously, she reached up to her necklace, its weight comforting. “I think it’s okay to feel that. Or if you find them scary. I think I would, too.” Especially after a fall like that.

Lloyd kept staring at her. Soon, his wings dissipated into nothing, leaving only floating feathers of azure that also evaporated into the air.

His gaze shifted back to the sands. “It probably seems dumb… I’m a Chosen and I can’t stand the sight of my wings, heh.” His voice was hollow.

She dared once more. “Then… why did you want to show them to me?”

Lloyd took a moment. “Because I have to get used to it. Also… it’s easier with you, you know?”

She let go of her necklace to take his hand. Though she couldn’t see the Cruxis Crystal he wore, hidden away by the high collar of his jacket, she could feel it there. Maybe Lloyd had wanted to hide it from himself too.

“It’s okay, Lloyd.”

“Hm..” he said, unable to say anything more. But she felt him grip her hand back.

Sometimes silence was all that was needed. They stayed that way for a while before going back to camp.

Colette was not always so clever, or smart, or so self-assured. She second guessed herself on so many things, that even when she met a young Lloyd back then, it was his bright smile that got her to talk to him. She hadn’t even noticed at first that few others had talked to him either, that she had been one of the first friends he ever had.

But she never doubted she was Lloyd’s friend. And she never doubted that he meant so, so much to her.

When he fell earlier today, the doubt about telling him what she knew was beginning to fade away.

“Lloyd? Why are you up?”

He was looking up at the sky, standing on a small rise. He always liked connecting the stars – and showing her how to do it as well. There was only him and her awake now, while Raine and Genis rested by the campfire. Even Noishe was sleeping peacefully, with barely a whine leaving his throat.

He turned as she went to him. “Oh, it’s my turn to watch for the night, remember?” He smiled. “You should be sleeping though! It’s pretty late.”

The journey had been long and difficult, but it was what the Chosen had to endure – at least what Colette knew about it. Lloyd rarely talked about such things at all. Sometimes… the only way one could even tell he was a Chosen was at the seals, waiting for the angels to bless him. It was only then when he would look so different, but also so sad.

And each time, she could tell it was hard for Lloyd to hide that sadness.

“Lloyd… you collapsed today. Again. The Professor said you didn’t need to do that now. I was supposed to take over…”

He blinked, then turned away. “It’s okay. I feel a lot better now.”

She hesitated. Sometimes he did this, trying to shut himself away. Sometimes, she would let him, but not tonight. She couldn’t. “Lloyd, your hand. Is it feeling better?”

“Huh? Yeah.. yeah, it’s fine!”

She reached for it before she could think to ask him. Because she had a feeling he would say no.

After the Wind Seal, Lloyd had been fainting faster, too. Enough that she couldn’t catch him this time.

The scrape was deep in his palm, still bleeding a little. Looking at it made her own hand ache. “You didn’t get this checked by the Professor.”

He took his hand away from her quickly. “It’s fine.”

She shook her head. “It’s… it’s not, Lloyd. And you know that, don’t you?”

He didn’t say anything.

Colette reached for her necklace, the gift he had given her just a few weeks before he left. Its weight was a comfort that she held onto at night, and even during their fights against monsters, bandits and Desians, it had stayed strong. It was made by Lloyd who was strong himself, she knew. But even a strong person couldn’t be…

“You’re not eating much… and you haven’t been sleeping either.” Colette would sometimes wake and still find him staring up at the stars, all by himself. “Things aren’t okay.”

She felt cruel saying these things, but Lloyd could never lie so easy, not as well as he thought he could. And right now, no good lies were coming to him. He only looked away, eyes dark and his expression somber.

“Why are you…?” he started, but couldn’t finish. Still, Colette needed to tell him more.

“Lloyd, I… know about what happens.. on the journey.”

He turned back to her then. For a moment, she couldn’t read his eyes at all. She had to fill the silence.

“This necklace you gave me. It’s more than just a present… it was supposed to be a memento, wasn’t it? But, I don’t want it to be that. I really don’t.”

“You’re… not supposed to-” Lloyd stopped, realizing his mistake. “I mean, that’s not what…”

She moved closer to him, reaching for his hands again. She tried not to squeeze it tightly, even though she knew now he would not be able to feel a thing. “I… my grandmother knows a lot about the Church of Martel. She used to be a priestess actually. She never told me exactly, but her stories about other Chosen.. and the way you’ve been acting lately..”

Lloyd still wasn’t looking at her. Afraid she was just making things worse, she started to release him again. “I want to be by your side. I don’t want you to go away. I don’t know how to stop that but... I had to at least be here.”

Just as she let go, Lloyd went to embrace her. Like he had on the day he gave her the necklace, except so suddenly.

“Colette, I’m… I’m not doing okay. I’m not… They didn’t tell me this would happen.” He held her tighter. “Dad didn’t tell me anything at all.”

She held him back. “I’m sorry.”

He shook. When he spoke, his voice was a little harsh, but she knew it wasn’t aimed at her. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not… it’s never been your fault! I just can’t.. handle this. I can’t handle anything.”

Colette pulled away so she could see him. With the way he spoke, she expected tears. But none fell from his eyes. So he couldn’t… “I’ll help you find another way. There has to be one. Because I don’t want you to go.” It sounded so childish, the way she said it. Still. “I don’t want you to go.”

Lloyd looked so sad and lost that she wished she could comfort him better. Lloyd pulled her back in his arms, pressing his forehead to hers. “I don’t want to also. I just want to stay.”

Maybe it was the sadness there that made her want to kiss him. She wished she’d have done it sooner. She had been tempted to on the day he gave her the necklace, but held herself back. She was afraid doing it now would be cruel if he couldn’t feel it. But once her lips pressed against his, he kissed her back, fingers digging into her shoulders, desperation in his grip.

It had been fierce and deep. Lloyd pulled back with a little nervousness. “Um… I meant…”

Colette leaned in to take his lips again. Softer this time, finding ways to make him feel, at least perhaps a little. And maybe he could, in some way. Because he still held her so tightly, still tried to press against her mouth as much as he could.

I just want to stay, he had told her. Colette would find a way to make that happen.

#colloyd #tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #fanfiction #frayed-symphony #i really love this concept so much and wanted to give something for it #merry christmas for a great friend!

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