#writing test

[oh-shtars]

✨-Silence-✨

AKA

(A small snippet of the RFTS!Au as writing practice and for all of you to take a peak into my writing style and dynamic of this universe. Believe it or not, this is one of the first times I’ve ever been serious of writing something sooo, I apologise in advance.

Idk, tbh, this is really just an experiment. This exact scene won’t actually appear or play out in the actual story. In all honesty, I just made it up with what I could make sense with at the moment. Plus, there’s a little surprise update at the end. ;)

With all of that said, enjoy! 💖)

…….

“Star?”

The light gust of wind carried her voice and accompanied her every step as she kept running through the woods. Branches rustled overhead and hollow trunks echoed the sound, giving the illusion that the forest was…breathing.

The sun had even started to set a fiery orange colour in the horizon, casting eerie shadows over the tall grass. The path she’d been running through had started to fade into all different directions in the overgrown terrain. At this point, it’s a constant struggle just to stay near it. Night time was approaching, just as she had feared. And yet here she was… venturing deeper down the belly of the beast. Never in her life had she remembered the last time she ever ventured on her own.

A young 18-year-old girl. Lost in the woods? At night? The possibilities are endless. Anything could happen. Anything.

No. Not now. Get it together.

Asha quickly buried the thought away from her head, paused to take one more shaky breath, and kept running. She had to find him. She swore she saw him sped through this direction. She can’t just go back now.

In fact, she doesn’t even know if she could turn back at all.

Not after what had happened back in Rosas’ town centre…

Guilt clawed at the back of her throat and her heart thrummed against her chest. She swallowed the ugly feeling down hard and continued to search for any sign of the magical, mute boy. What had happened back there was so fast that it came to her in a blur of colour.

She vaguely remembered colours of varying dull shades that belonged to the citizens of Rosas as they crowded around them. Some curious. Some confused. But most were in awe at the things he could do. At the things he could grant them.

She only wanted him to grant a few small wishes. It didn’t seem like a heavy task. If only she knew how this small favour would snowball out of control terribly.

But all that she DID remember clearly was the fresh memory of a crowd gathering around them. Closing in. Getting curiouser and curiouser… She had lost sight of Star from the people excitedly shoving her aside to get a better look at this strange magic caster. Someone who wasn’t the king for once. Then all in one quick-

FLASH-

A strong, chaotic gust of bright magic had forcefully pushed the crowd back. Chickens grew a sudden growth spurt. A guy’s hair got so long that it touched the floor. Nearby boxes turned into the weirdest crooked shapes. And some people’s clothing transformed into ones resembling either a jester or what looked like pyjamas belonging to a retired wizard. From the mess and the noisy commotion that had occurred, Asha could just barely make out the surroundings. But among everything else, there’s one thing that worried her the most.

The area where Star had initially stood was empty.

And the only clue left from his disappearance was the trail of stardust sprinkled over the grass, leading towards the shadows of the woods.

……..

“Star?!” Asha’s voice called out once more.

Silence.

“Star, please! Hey, I-I’m sorry.” She started again, desperation and concern evident than ever.

I’m sorry! I-I don’t..I didn’t know that.. I never considered the..the possibility that they would..”

Her own tongue refused to even cooperate with her at the moment. Ashe resisted the urge to bite down in frustration.

The time when she actually needed words was the same time that she had none. She can feel the burning sensation high from within her gut and the fabric of her dress squeezed between the fingers of her balled fist. She could just never stop being this useless, can she?

The trail of stardust had faded away into nothing a while ago. Now, she can only rely on nothing but her hope.

“Come on…. You have to be around here. You have to be okay... Where are-“

Snap.

There it was. Behind that tree.

Again, Asha felt fear grab a hold of her throat. For all she knew, it could be a wild animal. Or….what if…?

Whatever was forcing her to hold back now, the need to look out for her friend was greater.

Giving herself a minute, Asha steeled herself and, ever so cautiously, began to approach the source of the sound. Leaves crackled from underneath her feet and spiked her worries. Regardless, she kept going. Finally, Asha peeked out from the other side of the tree.

ZIP-

“AAH!” She yelped as a ball of light sped just past her. It zigged and zagged in between nearby trunks with zero sense of direction. Finally, the light flew behind another tree before stumbling back out in the form of a familiar human shape of the boy she was looking for.

“Star?” Asha breathed. Step by step, she approached the figure. “Star! You’re alright! You-“

Star jolted away from her advance, heavily startled. His arms automatically rushed into a defensive stance in front of him, causing tall greenery to magically grow in between and seperate them. It had created some sort of a small, protective barrier for him.

“Wait! It’s me!…It’s me.” Asha raised both her hands up and stepped around the barrier, proving she’s no stranger or a threat. Star’s hazel eyes darted around before finally stopping to rest on her. In his panicked state, Star failed to recognise her straight away.

“Hey, It’s me…”

It was still for a few seconds. But thankfully, Star gradually showed signs of calming down. His flickering, glowing hair subtly became more steady and his face starts softening. At least… for the short time being. Tension was still clearly evident in his expression and stance. Asha noticed the boy had summoned flying dust to float right next to him. It rapidly changed in shape and form, presumably matching his racing thoughts.

He’s attempting to explain himself. Asha realised.

(Here’s a ref for what that might look like: ⬇️)

”I’m sorry, I..You’re going a bit too fast.” Asha started. But with every word that left her mouth, Star only seemed to make the stardust shift in between shapes even more faster.

Then, a cold wind blew against the overhead branches, producing a rustling sound. Star flinched at the noise and turned, breaking his focus on Asha.

His gaze transferred from one thing to another at the speed of light, anticipating something. Anything that might jump out at him. Is there..? Within the unknown and behind those trees, something could be watching them…

His mind having switched to autopilot, Star’s feet lifted from the ground and he started searching every space and corner. Questions flooded his head. A bad itch spread through his limbs and refused to go away. Shaken, Star tried to gulp all…’this’… down but to no avail.

He needed answers.

Did the other humans follow them? What more did they want? What other selfish want do they need granted now?

“star-“

Skies above-

What if someone comes up from behind?? His head instinctively whipped around to make sure. Nothing. Or….or did he just not see?

”Star-?”

What if someone imprisons him again just for his ability? Granting Wishes. That’s what they want… That’s all they ever wanted from him…Right? They only ever saw him as nothing more than a wish-granter. Surrounded. What if-

What if they were surrounded and they just didn’t notice? Surrounded. Trapped. And they would keep approaching. Closer.

And closer-

And closer-

Darkness envelops. Just like walls. Walls.

Walls.

Like walls pressing down from all sides of him. Promising no escape. STARS- WHAT IF-

“Star!! Please!” Star’s eyes snapped open. Two hands (that weren’t his) were raised a short distance in front of him, visibly shaking. Star realised at once that his eyes had been shut close the whole time. Oh. He thought. That explains the darkness…

Star blinked his eyes slowly, rising to meet familiar amber ones. Once his vision came to focus, he noticed the look on the girl’s face. Genuine concern. For…him?

Slowly but steadily, he regained awareness of his surroundings. He couldn’t remember exactly when he did, but he was now kneeling on the forest floor. Asha kneeled down with him to meet his eye level. She slowly reached out but paused, silently asking for consent.

Star hesitated before eventually nodding. Asha reached to gently hold on to both his wrists, which Star realised his hands had been roughly grabbing and pulling his hair mere seconds ago. She lowered them down, still maintaining a firm but gentle hold.

”Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Her honey-sweet tone whispered reassurance as her grip softened even more. “It’s just me. And you.

No one else.

No more crowds.” With every point made, her thumb comfortingly brushed against his skin. Asha’s hands slowly went from his wrist to his own, and she gently squeezed them. “I promise you.”

Asha never once broke eye contact and even signed the word “Promise” as one last reassurance.

A beat.

Star stared long and hard into her eyes, slightly surprised only to find sincerity and concern in them. It was so quiet that the only sound he heard was her own breathing. For a split moment, the worries and darkness of this world were forgotten.

All he knew was that she was here. She’s safe. He’s safe. They’re safe.

Overwhelmed at this…gesture… and everything else, Star’s eyes watered. No, she can’t see a star like this..

He squeezed her hands back to ground himself one more time before finally releasing a breath. Asha watched silently as the boy sat down on the green grass and hugged himself, ducking his head away between his knees to avoid eye contact. His shoulders trembled ever so slightly. She felt a pang of guilt stab her chest, knowing in the back of her head that he spiralled because of her ‘small favour’ back there.

“I’m sorry…” she muttered. She adjusted herself to a more comfortable sitting position beside him, taking care to make slow movements so as not to scare him even more. “I shouldn’t have asked back there in Rosas. Not all at once. I…I didn’t know they would crowd around like that.”

There was little to no reaction to the apology. In fact, it appeared like Star had only closed in on himself even further. Asha didn’t blame him. Whether he wanted to answer or not, she’d be right here either way. For as long as he needed her to be.

“Do you have…something…on your mind?”

…….

“I won’t force you to say anything. But…you’re my friend. And…I want to help you in any way I can.”

…..

“But only...if you’d let me…Whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m right here.”

Asha waited a little more longer to see any sort of sign. Nothing. She sighed lightly and shuffled a little farther away to give him space.

But then in the corner of her eye, she saw his hands move to sign. Asha remembered speaking in sign language before, but not in a very long time. Despite that, she paid close attention to at least make out what he’s trying to say.

“All they want….All I am…A star…Just wishes.”

(Btw guys, orange is sign language and the ellipses “…” are words she didn’t understand because like I said, she’s rusty with sign.)

The words took a moment to process together and click.

”You’re…afraid that’s your only worth. Is that right?”

Star’s glow turned dimmer and he tightly gripped the sleeves of his shirt. No additional confirmation was needed. Around them, cacti and odd-looking plants sprouted from the dirt. Asha jumped a little when a weed popped right next to her. Magical occurrences like these tend to happen whenever Star gets highly emotional.

He had mentioned that Wish Magic can be unpredictable and difficult to control, especially for a star as young as he is. Especially for a star who hasn’t stepped a foot on this world before, nevertheless. A star taken away far too early from home.

At this point in their adventure, Asha was no longer surprised with all the magic mishaps that happen with every excited, frustrated, or embarrassed outburst. It was almost ironic that for someone who disliked surprises, Asha had come to find Star’s unpredictability weirdly comforting and familiar.

And so, instead of anticipating or fearing whatever chaos could spiral next, Asha found herself even more compelled to help the poor star.

“I can’t..speak for the others.” She didn’t want to lie. Not when Star is already struggling to open up to people. She didn’t want to make him feel like he can’t trust her either. But at the same time, Asha didn’t want to confirm his fears and make them worse. She didn’t really want to let him completely believe that everyone really is out to capture him, when she’s aware that there are good people in Rosas.

They just needed to find the right people. But for now, she had to carefully choose her words for this.

“But for all it’s worth…You.” Asha raised her hand to touch his shoulder but quickly retracted when he flinched. Pity welled heavily in her gut. “You matter a lot to me, okay? You’re…

You’re so much more than just a star to me.”

…..

The movement was subtle and hard to notice, but Star had lifted his head a little and she noticed that the grip he had on himself loosened. Asha slowly lifted a hand again to touch him, but this time, she moved slower. When Star noticed but showed no resistance to the advance, she rested it gently on his shoulder. Like magic, she felt him relax a little more and his trembling started becoming less and less.

Star sat still, contemplating what has been said. (Sitting still for this long was so unlike him, it scared her a little). It was only his dim flickering light that filled the hushed atmosphere for several long minutes. Yet, the quiet didn’t feel as lonely as it did anymore. Both didn’t greatly mind the wait at all.

After a while, when he’s more relaxed and comfortable, he finally signed back to her.

“Anyone…hurt?”

Asha shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. Just some scares maybe.”

Star looked ahead, concern evidently still etched on his face. Asha found it endearing that he still cared about others’ well-being despite what had happened.

“You…sure?”

“Well, the worse you probably did was give some people a new wardrobe.” She absentmindedly started twirling a blade of grass around her finger, hiding an amused look from the memory of the townsfolk’s surprised faces back there. She hoped that this would at least help in lightening the mood.

Star turned his head to face her more clearly and didn’t miss the small upturn of the corners of her mouth. He made a faint scoff light-heartedly. Playfully grinning now, he nudged her with his shoulder to have her look back at him.

”Did a favour…At least they’re now…more awake with colour. The old clothes…bland and boring.” Star exaggerated the last bit by sticking his tongue out.

Caught off-guard by the side-comment, a snort escapes from Asha before it turned into bright chuckles. Embarrassed, she raised a hand over her mouth. “He-hey! Don’t say that about them!”

Star only smiled wider as the usual cheeky glint finally returned to his eyes. He released his own quiet chuckle that sounded a lot like small ringing bells. Asha caught control of her own laughter to glance at her friend. Heh. She thought to herself. There’s the mischievous and fun-loving guy I know…

She’s relieved and happy to see how Star is slowly easing up and returning back to his usual self. They waited in the silence again for a little while longer. Yet, it seemed as if the tense atmosphere they initially shared in had turned a lot more easier. The heavy feeling of guilt pressing down on her chest also became lighter.

At least, some of the guilt was gone.

Asha didn’t and couldn’t forget Star’s expressed insecurities from earlier. She wants to do something about it. At least something to make up for the whole trouble. Something to make that very burden lighter.

A light bulb went on in her head.

“You know, when I was younger.” She started. “My papa would come home from work each day. He always looked so delighted to see me.” Asha raised her head upwards to the now starry night sky, a wave of nostalgia washing up within her. Star rested his arms on his knees, curious at the change in topic. “He used to pick me up and…and swing me around….calling me the sweetest things. Like we had been apart for the longest….time.”

Star noticeably frowned and tilted his head to the side, as if implying a question. The girl realised he was mirroring the same expression she had. Nervously, her hand started playing with the fabric of her dress. Admittedly, Asha wasn’t used to openly talking about Tomás again after…..that.

Not after all this time.

Asha took a deep breath, feeling the cold dirt underneath her. “That’s..that’s not the point right now.” She quickly added. Asha nodded in Star’s direction to reassure him she was fine before continuing.

“The point is…he’d call me all kinds of names. Estrella, Chiquitita, Cariño.” She smiled at the memory, blinking away the moisture that had formed in the corners of her eyes. This didn’t go unnoticed by the boy beside her, who kept listening intently.

“But out of all of them, his favourite was ‘Mi pequeño sueño.’ Since…well….he used to love sharing everything with me back then. And I mean..hehe, I mean EVERYthing.”

Asha released an uneasy laugh as she finished the sentence. “It’s funny, isn’t it? He would share every work detail to a little toddler.” She smiled and turned to face her friend. “Hehehe. I..I barely even understood most of what he said back-“

Asha paused. Star was looking right back at her with sympathy. It left her speechless for a moment. “-most of…most of what he said back…then.” She faked a cough and shook her head, as if it would help to get rid of the stinging sensation at the back of her throat.

Then, she felt something within her palm. Asha looked down to see a pretty golden flower had been created from stardust just for her. She held it up higher to gaze at its beauty and she felt tears well up again.

“Thank you.” Asha whispered and looked at Star while using her fingers to wipe away her eyes. “It’s beautiful.”

The two gazed at each other fondly and with great appreciation for their presence. That was until Asha snapped out of it and returned her gaze to the flower once more.

“Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is…” She asked. “Remember when I said “Star” is a placeholder name for now until we think of something better?”

Star nodded, holding on to every word with great interest.

Asha beamed brightly:

Star raised an eyebrow. Shyly, he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed of the fact he isn’t too familiar with other human languages besides english. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Asha only shyly grinned and slightly ducked her head away to hide the colour on her cheeks. “Trust me. I just think it’s fitting for someone like you.”

Star-….well, now Sueño, could feel himself glow brighter. He might not know what this new name meant, but it already felt perfect. Is that weird? Like the name was meant to be his own from the very beginning.

“Okay. I trust you’d tell me eventually, right?”

Asha teasingly smirked back. “I don’t know.” She raised both her hands to sign out one word. “Maybe.”

The boy felt an even weirder feeling of fluttering butterflies inside him. At this rate, he’s only seconds away from smiling uncontrollably.

The duo turned to look up at the night sky together, letting the silence that had initially been confronting and frightening, to settle into a warm comfortable blanket between them both.

Sueño. He released a highly-content sigh while repeating the name in his thoughts. Not just any name. His name.

Sueño.

He likes it. …….

Notes:

HEY, HEY, HEY!! Didn’t expect the new change didn’t you? :DD

Yeah, I know. I did say that ‘Star’ was going to simply be my Starboy’s name. But then I got tempted by this idea and thought, “That would be too bad for me to just pass this up.”

I’m still keeping the below information here that I’ve established before in a previous post. The fact about the natural names of Wishing Stars and Asha initially calling him just “Star” when they first meet.

In case you haven’t searched up the translation yet, Sueño means ‘dream.’ And to answer @signed-sapphire’s post on what the RFTS!Starsha duo is called, let me present you:

✨ “Hopes and Dreams” ✨

Because Asha translates to ‘hope’ too. :DD

Ages ago, I’ve found this pretty cool interpretation that helped inspire me of this idea:

‘Wishes’ are merely just a fantasised want or desire. But it’s usually temporary and fades away if nothing is done about it. ‘Dreams’ however, used to be just wishes. But placing actions behind it is what turns it into a dream. It’s the bigger picture you can see yourself in, to help motivate you through the day. ‘Hope’ is the driving fuel to reach that destination. The faith you have that you’ll get there eventually.

Without ‘hope,’ you can’t reach a dream. And without a ’dream,’ what motivates and gives hope? What exactly would you be hoping for?

Regardless whether it’s a simple and small dream or an ambitious one, you’d need both to get there.

And I just went: “AWWWW, Imagine if I used that idea.”

Well then, I stopped imagining and basically caved in to just make it a reality. :)

And this is the surprise ‘different’ post I’ve been mentioning to Saph about and I really hope you guys liked this snippet of a non-canon event in the RFTS!Au.

If I portrayed the panic sequence or anything else in a hurtful or incorrect way, can you pls let me know so I could change it?

I’m open to hearing what you all think of it and what I should be improving or doing more of next time!! <333333

(@annymation @gracebethartacc @uva124 @emillyverse @chillwildwave @tumblingdownthefoxden @signed-sapphire @kstarsarts)

#writing test #wish rewrite #disney wish #wish au #reach for the stars au #rfts au #wish 2023 #wish reimagined #wish starboy #wish star #wish asha #asha x star #star x asha #A bit of a long read-

[cookiewoli]

I wrote this few days ago and forgot to post it.

It's the first time I'm writing something in English, sorry for the mistakes even if I used a translator to help me (´。＿。｀)

It's about some past of my builder Cassius.

(Obviously it's before he met Elsie)

⟝⟝⟝⟝⟝✫✪✫⟝⟝⟝⟝⟝

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

Cassius turned his head to the one standing next to him on the bed with a look of surprise.

"What?

- I asked you if you had a girlfriend."

He pulled himself off the blanket to sit on the side of the bed with a deep sigh. That question, he always dreaded it. It was always the same, to the point where he waited impatiently for every of his partner to ask him that damn question.

Cassius replied curtly:

"Isn't this evening enough for you?"

His partner rose from the bed to slap him lightly on the back.

"Hey I'm serious, don't make fun of me!" Despite her frustration, she let out a giggle of amusement.

He turned to look her straight in the eye. She was waiting impatiently for an answer. But... What was her name again? Her eyes sparkled with excitement. It must have been one of the best evenings of her life, the way she'd reacted. But for Cassius it was just a usual evening. His eyes were empty as he stared at this girl. He ran his hand through his hair to put it back in place, sighing as he sketched a slight smile. Finally, he replied:

"Nah I ain't got nobody."

His leg began to shake at a relentless, unrestrained pace. The best part of this evening was about to begin.

"Oh... It's amazing considering...

- My looks? My morphology? What do you mean?

There was a hint of irritation in his sentence.

- You're very attractive physically, and well-built, it's true...

- Is that all?" Cassius cut in.

His partner seemed confused by his tone. It seems that she has nothing to add.

"I-I don't know, I mean... We don't know each other well enough. That's why I'd like us to get to know each other.

- Get your relationship priorities straight."

This scornful, dry tone was beginning to irritate both people. The mood was beginning to darken. Cassius buried his face in his hands, as if to contain himself from exploding. His leg was shaking more and more, and his breathing was becoming more and more audible. Anxiety was rising dangerously within him.

"You just slept with a guy on the first night. And it's only afterwards that you want to get to know each other? Don't make me laugh."

That's it. He felt the need to be honest with her, even if it meant hurting her feelings. And he succeeded, for he heard a groan behind him. He turned his head to see his partner starting to cry.

"You..." She was at a loss for words.

She let go of her tears without restraint for a few seconds, before sniffling and trying to calm herself.

"I thought we... That you...

- That I loved you?"

Cassius burst out laughing. Was it amusement or embarrassment? Probably both. He opened the drawer beside him to pull out a wrapper for a lollipop. He withdrew the paper and popped the sweet into his mouth. Sugar (along with alcohol) was one of the things that relaxed him. And given the usual turn of events, he needed it. He now began to get dressed.

"Listen. I never said I wanted to start a serious relationship. I thought you understood that.

- So in your eyes I'm just a one-night stand?!

- See, you understand when you want to."

He fastened the last button on his shirt, avoiding his partner's gaze. He was about to leave when he felt a hand hold him back.

"Cassius! Cassius! Wait! This discussion isn't over!

- For me it is."

He tried to open the door, but she jumped in. Her sparkling gaze had disappeared and been replaced by one filled with anger and hatred. But... He detected something else. Was it contempt? Curiosity?

"Damn, what the hell do you want from me?!"

He slammed his fist against the wall in front of him. Anxiety rose again and again. He could feel his whole body shaking.

"I'm not here to yell at you or lecture you...

- Then what the fuck are you doing ? Why are you pissing me off?

- I want to understand! Understand you!

Tears were welling up in his eyes again.

- Forget it. It's a waste of time.

- I'm worried about you!

- I don't give a damn."

He crunched involuntarily on his lollipop, which broke into pieces in his mouth. Damn.

"To tell you the truth... I'm aware of the number of girls you...Had fun for one night here.

- I thought you weren't here to lecture me? And anyway, you're not the first to do that to me.

The discussion was about to take an unexpected turn.

- At first, I couldn't believe it. When the girls found out about each other, they were all mad. But I wanted to know why you did it. Do you enjoy breaking people's hearts? To party one night and leave the next morning? To empty the liquor cabinet to the point where you can't walk afterwards? Why are you doing this ?"

There was a long silence. No one had ever asked him that question. And then he thought about it. It's true... That he'd had far too many relationships with girls that never lasted more than a few days at the best of times. Subconsciously, he knows why he's doing all this. But how can he explain it to someone who can't read his mind?

His partner noticed that his question had struck a chord. He stared into space, searching deep inside for an answer. He sighed and went to sit back down on the bed to begin his tantrum again, his face buried in his hands while repeatedly slamming his leg against the floor. She'd just destabilized him. HIM!!! Cassius, the popular six-foot-two guy with exemplary muscularity and the face of a handsome, unflappable man.

"I... I don't do this to hurt people."

He whispered.

"Yet you must suspect that your behavior is shameful."

She leaned against the door, as if to make sure he wouldn't take off running. But anyway, Cassius isn't a coward. I mean, he's not... To the point of running away from a discussion.

"I don't care if people hates me."

He dropped a tear, which he quickly wiped away with one hand so it wouldn't be noticeable.

"I hate myself too."

He paused before continuing:

"I just want to... Feel alive."

He swept his gaze around the room in search of something. Alcohol, more precisely. He found one right next to the bed, which wasn't finished yet. He took a big gulp of alcohol before continuing:

"I feel so empty. All the time. I'm looking for something that might make me feel alive. And even when I do feel something deep down... It's only temporary.

- Do you really think that sleeping around and getting drunk is going to make you feel alive?! You're killing yourself!

- Maybe I'm already dead."

He finished the rest of the bottle in one big gulp before lying back on the bed.

"You know what might make you feel something?"

She'd just gotten his attention.

"Love."

Cassius held back from spitting out what he'd been drinking at such a silly answer. He'd heard that joke before, but this was really funny!

"How could I love anyone?! When I don't love anyone, even myself? He laughed.

- You could have someone who loves you, and who'll help you love yourself too.

- I don't want that. Do you know why? Because I'm incapable of showing affection, in the loving sense. Loving someone includes protecting that person as if their life depended on it. And yet, I've totally screwed up even protecting my little sister from her mother. When she disappeared, a part of me was shattered."

Now he had opened his heart. He let go completely. Was it the alcohol that made him like this? He lay on the bed, weeping and laughing. His head was tilting from side to side, and his hands on his chest were shaking.

"How could anyone love a guy who couldn't protect his partner? Besides, that's why I've had such a chaotic journey. Since that day, I've felt a hole inside me. I joined Duvos' army like my father, thinking that saving people would fill what I'd lost inside. Bullshit! All Duvos talks about is the Empire, over and over again. They don't give a fuck about the people and the people who suffer everyday in their country"

The girl left her place at the door to sit beside him. She sensed that he really needed to confide in someone.

"So I started a lot of traveling before I figured out what I wanted to do. I thought that by creating weapons, the habitants could defend themselves against those who martyred them. I explored ruins all over the country to make my own creations. But it didn't change anything about the hole inside me."

He stood up and gently took his partner's hand to place it against his heart.

"Can you feel anything?" he asked. After a few seconds staring straight into each other's eyes, she was about to answer, but Cassius answered before her:

"I can't hear or feel anything. That proves I can't love.

He let go of her hand and lowered his eyes.

- But would you like to? To fall in love? Not with me of course, I get that, don't worry.

- How will I know when I fall in love?

- You'll feel it."

She stretched out her index finger and pointed it at where her hand used to rest. She touched his chest, then his belly. This last touch surprised Cassius, who exclaimed:

"Haha! And now you're going to touch my lower belly, right? How can love touch the heart and the bell-

- Butterflies.

He blinked, thinking he'd heard wrong.

- Butterflies? Butterflies?

- Yes. That's what you call having butterflies in your stomach. You'll see. When you're in love, you'll feel yourself floating in happiness. You'll be nervous, all red and sweaty...

- Like when I fuc-

- HEY! Don't ruin my philosophy lesson!"

They both burst out laughing. The mood had just softened. Cassius let out one last nervous chuckle, before finished :

"Thanks."

His partner's eyes widened. Had Cassius just been nice? He who usually insulted everyone and constantly threatened to smash someone's face in?

"See. The mere fact that you cried and said thank you proves you've got a heart. Now it's up to you to get it going again."

She rose from the bed and headed for the door. The end of the evening had gone well in the end. Just before leaving, she winked at Cassius.

"I won't see you tomorrow. I guess you'll be leaving for the next town tomorrow.

- Yeah, well... I don't know where to go yet. Maybe I'll just join my group of adventurous friends to kill some time.

- Don't forget. Love.

- Yeah yeah..."

She walked away.

Silence reigned. Cassius found himself alone again. Talking had done him good, but he still felt frustrated. And still empty.

"Everything is temporary." he repeated to himself.

"Happiness. Friendship. Love." He let out a final sigh as he ran his hand through his hair while the last tear rolled down his cheek. Just thinking about meeting someone and starting a relationship that lasted more than a few days seemed impossible for him. How would he know when he'd met the right person? What "love" means ?

#my time at sandrock #mtas #mtas builder #my time at sandrock builder #fanfic try #writing test #rip English #oc #fanfic

[thesefallenembers]

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

#someone send this to my english teacher because vocab tests are hard #writing memes #reading #writers #writers of tumblr #writers of instagram #writing #writer #reader #writer memes #readers of tumblr

[charliejaneanders]

The United States has always been a terrible place to be sick and disabled. Ableism is baked into our myths of bootstrapping and self-reliance, in which health is virtue and illness is degeneracy. It is long past time for a bedrock shift, for all of us.

Long covid has derailed my life. Make no mistake: It could yours, too.

#covid #quotes #writing #long covid #madeline miller #holy shit this article is devastating #please keep masking and testing

[sukunasteeth]

When Sukuna kisses you, it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

You started out perched on his lap, but by now he's reduced you to a boneless, panting heap in his grasp. His arms supporting you are the only things keeping you from melting against him like liquid lust. You're desperate for a moment of solid ground to catch your breath, but Sukuna is adamant on continuously taking it away from you. His calloused hands inching their way up your shirt, brushing softly against your sides, over your rib cage, skimming the underside of your breasts, all in mesmerization at how soft your skin is.

"'Kuna..." You try to capture his attention, which has been taken by his fixation on how sensitive your ears were to the scrape of his teeth.

You're surprised when he answers with a distracted hum, "Yes, my little doe?"

"I -I need a second." You stutter, your heart is thumping wildly in your chest, despite how intoxicated and incapacitated you feel at his mercy. You were starting to forget how to breathe in his close proximity and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep your head straight with his natural scent acting like a pheromone.

You feel his wicked grin against your neck before you hear it in his voice, "Poor thing. Am I working you too hard? I rarely see you so out of sorts..." 

Sukuna doesn't even try to disguise his amusement at your complete inebriation with his kisses. His tongue presses against the nape of your throat before he follows a line of sweat up to your ear, leaving behind a cold stripe of his saliva against your burning hot skin. He holds you fast when you violently shiver against him, "It's a good look on you."

“Please…” You beg with whatever breath you can conjure for him but it comes out as more of a desperate little whimper. That was Sukuna’s favorite tone of your voice, after all. 

And desperate you were. Sukuna had been devouring you for so long, sucking and nipping and licking at whatever part of your revealed skin interested him. You could feel your legs forgetting how to operate.

You just needed a moment. 

Without his permission, you push away from his chest and manage to get to your feet in front of him. Your legs buckle, but you're able to catch yourself before you fall face first back into him. Sukuna is looking up at you, as kiss drunk as you felt, blinking slowly with a satisfied smile. 

“Give me just one sec-” You’re about to turn away. And then you see it. 

Sukuna had you so entranced with him, had your mind so far away from your body, that you hadn’t even noticed the fact that you had cleanly soaked through your panties on his lap. And there, on that oh-so-comfortable part of his thigh, that had quickly become one of your happy places, was a dark spot on his jeans from your wetness. 

All you could do was stare down at it, mortified. 

Which only has Sukuna following your gaze in momentary curiosity. 

“I-I’M…” You try to catch his attention again with the sound of your voice before his eyes can settle on the new mark, but Sukuna sees it first.

His grin quickly fades and your heart careens into your throat. You feel embarrassment shoot through you like a shot of adrenaline, coloring your already pink face a bright and rosy red. 

The clear solution to the undoubtedly awkward situation is to run, right?

“I’ll be right back-” But you don’t even move an inch before his hand snaps forward and latches onto the front pocket of your (his) hoodie, stopping you in place. 

Your heartbeat thumps in your red-hot ears and you go against every fiber of your being to meet his eyes.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going with my dinner?" The playful lilt of his tone has completely vanished and reveals a deep, dark starvation in its place.

"I work hard for my meals, you know?” 

#jjk #sukuna #smut #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk smut #every day #I get closer and closer to producing the filthiest most jaw-dropping sukuna smut #till then #have a taste test #my writing

[tetsunabouquet]

I’m so upset. I just had my first test for writing classes, and I got 16 points out of 30.  Like, I am totally disappointed with how low it is, though I did object to my teacher about my grades because I don’t think it’s completely fair. I don’t agree with everything and whilst with some things I can partially disagree on that I didn’t mention, there are two main gripes I have with her criticism that I adressed to her in favor of a higher grade (she’ll get back to me on that so...). For one, amongst the notes my teacher made on my test, were various criticisms that weren’t specified in either the test or my textbooks. Like, I could turn it either handwritten or a computer document, and like I mentioned on my blog because of my autism I was cursed with an incurable doctor’s handwriting that I can barely read sometimes (to Hyperdimension Neptunia fans: my handwriting is only a little more readable then Neptune’s). So obviously, I did it on my computer. However, for one specific question I was supposed to list my top 10 favorite children’s books (inspiration-wise, as in the ones that contain the tropes I love the most, etc). Apparantly, in computer form the titles are supposed to be displayed in italic, but not once does the test specify that.  How can you criticize me for things that aren’t in the test?! Secondly was her criticizing my grammar. I know it isn’t perfect at all times and from my teacher I will accept grammar nazi behavior because as my teacher she’s supposed to do that, but she’s a massive hypocrite because she makes spelling error after another.  I literally had to do a double-take about her criticism in regards to question 4 because of the number of spelling mistakes.  Like, me making a big mistake in my writing spelling or grammar wise should be acceptable as a student. I am there to learn after all. But for my teacher to make a spelling mistake in almost every comment that she makes?! She’s my teacher god damn it, she’s supposed to show me better.  This teacher is making me relive my secondary school experience, where I would land in debates with nearly every teacher I had in regards to the curriculum. Like that substitute teacher who didn’t even bother to say ‘Minotaurus’ when discussing the Greek myth and would say ‘beest’ (beast) instead when reading from our history textbooks and I as a mythology enthusiast would dare to correct her on that.  And why I do that is simple.  I know I have more then one person following me who’s in their twenties like myself, so you probably remember Glee. Do any of you all recall that one Santana scene where it is revealed she actually went to Principal Figgins with a complaint about Mister Schue being a bad Spanish teacher and when a hurt Mr Schue confronts her about it, she’s like; “I value my education more. It’s important.” She’s a Spanish speaker already, she doesn’t needs Spanish class. She’s not making that complaint for herself, she’s making it on the behalf of her other students because she knows better then her own teacher and knows her teacher is making mistakes unlike the other students.  Just like Santana I’ve always valued my education too much to allow teachers to dumb down their students instead of enriching them, I always speak up against my teachers when I can see their mistakes. Because as a teacher you’re supposed to set the better example and show your students what is correct and what is wrong about the subject at hand, and the more knowledge you can pass on the better.  The fact her name is French makes it even more triggering to me, god the French are the worst. I’ll never forget my nightmare vacation in Paris. I swear if there’s one capital city in Europe that smells like urine, it’s Paris. 

#writing class #tetsutalk #writing test #santana lopez #glee #mr schue #why my schue was a horrible spanish teacher #As a teacher you are supposed to set the right example damn it #i value my education #santana #Same girlie #great minds think alike #I swear the universe wants me to hate the French

[ghostbsuter]

He'd moved to metropolis on a whim.

The city was big, he's earning good money via commissioned things (most people come to him for cosplay actually, who knew that knowing how to build a sci-fi gun that doesn't even work would be this wanted??) and he's got a nice apartment!

Superman and Supergirl were the active heroes, he didn't need to involve himself anymore with the world of heroes, he would continue as a civilian. It was better this way.

So how come LexLuthor, of all people, what is his luck?, sends him an invitation to LexCorp AND once declined, seemed to have created some sort of energy absorbing weapon that directly zoomed in on his immediate whenever around?

Civilian life is one thing.

Being rescued via Super for the 9th time is another.

"Hey Danny." Supergirl grins, they're floating to the side as Superman deals with Lex.

"Hey, Supergirl." Danny replies with a sigh, holding his bag.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #fic prompt #writing prompt #dc x dp prompt #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #METROPOLIS #we love superman and supergirl #superboy has definitely saved danny once as well #hear me out #danny is metropolis own version of tim drake #he is well known in conventions #and for actually bigger companies that work with eco friendly stuff #or trying to save nature #lex luthor went from i want him (worker) to i want him (test subject)

[violent138]

Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"

Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.

Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.

Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.

Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."

Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.

"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"

"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.

Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.

Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"

Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."

"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."

At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.

Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.

Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"

Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."

Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"

"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.

"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.

Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"

"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"

#New format I'm testing out: too lazy to write a fic and too content heavy to be a text post #I present to you minificpost #Batman #Dc comics #Mini something #Batfamily #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Duke Thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #damian wayne #Tim Drake #batfam #Don't know why I fixated on pride and Prejudice #Man reads other books too lol

[inkskinned]

but they don't care about the burnout. everyone is burnt out, they tell me. who isn't burnt out!

the good news is they don't say depression is a choice as much anymore, but the symptoms for burn out and depression are so hand-in-hand that they are mirror images of each other. but depression is serious. you're not depressed, you're just whiny. they barely change the script - don't be lazy! burn out is for people with real problems. burn out can be resolved with some fun candles and a day off work. burn out only happens in adults - no kid can be burnt out, after all; they've barely even had a life to live!

do you have a roof over your head and a steady job? you're not burnt out. so what if every night you wake up with a panic attack frothing inside your chest. you're lucky your problems are small. get back into plants or into yoga. shut up about it.

rich people get burnt out and go to fancy places. they get burnt out in their fancy offices with their real-people problems. they get burnt out and hire an assistant to help them never burn out again. you don't have the money to burn out. you don't have the two weeks to recover in a local spa. the job you come back to will still be stressful and hard.

you find yourself often wondering - does nobody remember about the pandemic? it seems almost like a joke or a punchline. being burnt-out was okay "during" the pandemic. now that people are back to ignoring covid, burnout is just-an-excuse again.

you google how to know if it's seasonal affective disorder or burnout. you google how to know if it's anxiety or it's burnout from working. you google how to know if my depression is back or i'm burning out badly.

coming back from burnout just leaves you covered in ashes, not new growth. you struggle to get back basics, and then - you're just supposed to get back up and keep going. every day the amount of tasks you are able to do seems to dwindle even further - where does the time go? why is everything moving so-fast-and-yet-so-slow?

my therapist and i were talking about how many people had latent mental illnesses that were triggered by the pandemic. how depression can be environmental and situational. i am annoyingly logic-driven about my own recovery - i like to be sure i'm working on the "right" thing. i tell her i feel like i'm lying. that it just might be burnout, and i need to stop complaining. she asks me what words come to mind when i think of burning.

oh, i guess i see.

we casually ignore the violence of being left empty.

#employers for 2 weeks during the pandemic: we know it's gonna be so so hard and we're here for you #week 3 day 1: now that we have been nice to you fucking get over it you weakling #do not worry this is not me romantically recalling the ''we're here for u'' overhead announcements #this is the opposite #side note #the new options to post????????? huh #gonna go write something VERY gay just to test it #(eventually. i skipped my meds by accident today so im nowhere)

[airen392]

Brain to hand connection isn't working.

Sentence? what is a sentence? what are connectors!?

#writing test #school

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

A Catfish??

All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.

They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!

The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.

He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.

Like he wasn’t used to his height.

No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.

Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.

#now Bruce could clear up the confusion #but the kids did take the Batmobile out on a joyride a week ago #so this can just be a test on their reasoning under familial circumstances #like Bruce did not go out of his way to vet his youngest son’s first crush #dp x dc #writing prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc x dp #jason todd #batman #shipping #dick grayson #tim drake #duke thomas #Cass knows of course #she’s not going to tell #same with babs #Danny a couple months before his visit: Doors suddenly hate me Dami :n; #Damian short king Wayne who likes to be picked up even if he never admits to it #damian: tragic. #the kids saw one photo of Dan and Danny and connected some dots that were never there #dead serious #writting prompt

[bluerosefox]

Fenton Ethics and Test Tube Babies

In order to get the funding they need for their Ghost stuff, Jack and Maddie Fenton had to do some... rather illegal things when they left college.

One of them was testing alien DNA and seeing if it was compatible with human DNA.

However getting their hands on Superman's DNA or any of the main Leaguers would be far to hard for two up coming scientists and would run the risk of them being caught. Instead they set their sights on some of the younger aliens.

Such as Starfire, or rather Koriand'r.

They manage to get their hands on her DNA, and also her boyfriend (Nightwing) at the time and began to test it. They felt unsure with what they're doing but they needed the funding and in order to make themself feel better with what they're doing they decided if they were test her DNA with someone she was seeing it would be... better for their own conscience (it doesn't make what they're doing okay but they think so)

Eventually they succeeded in the testing! A baby can be made between a human and a alien.

HOWEVER because we know how the Fenton's get, they kind of go ahead of what they were only meant to do, which was just to TEST the compatibility of the DNA. Basically the paper's before the test phase.

With them getting tunnel vision on this project... They create said baby.

Then before they could show off that creating a new baby via test tubes actually works, they were told that the paperwork they were working on were going to be given to a new team, thank you for your work, here is the money for your ghost stuff, and have a good day.

The people who hired them then just leave.... Without knowing about the newly made baby.

Jack and Maddie name the baby Jasmine.

A few years later when little Jazz asks for a sibling... Well they bring out the old test tubes and papers.

And even though Starfire is no longer dating Nightwing, her new partner Red Hood would make a wonderful male donor for their future kid.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #blue rambles #crossover #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #Danny and Jazz are half-siblings #Starfire is their mom #Jazz is the test tube baby of Starfire and Nightwing #Danny is the test tube baby of Starfire and Red Hood #Jack and Maddie do questionable things for their work #headcanon the ectoplasim they've been around skewed their morals bad #they think what they do is normal and okay #its not #debating when all of this is found out #maybe when tiny Jazz needs to do a family tree report but doesn't find any pictures of her mom pregnant with her or Danny #but finds the papers telling both Jack and Maddie they couldn't have kids #either of them can't #then she finds the papers for the test tubing and is horrified and stressed to the point her powers start springing up #she decides she needs to get her and toddler Danny OUT asap #OR teen Danny finds out same way for a school thing and stumbles on the papers and freaks out #finds their science journal and discovers they have noticed his ghost powers but think its his alien powers and have been taking notes #he feels sick and panicked and needs to bring this to Jazz and GET OUT #jazz fenton

[pocket-watcher]

This one’s for all my glasses-wearers out there.

The eye test had been painless enough. A new prescription needed, but no major issues.

I perused the frames, a million different styles. The assistant had been nice, he watched on as I struggled to find a pair that was right for me.

He also seemed to scan the room, which was odd. There were only a few others there, all busy with his colleagues.

Eventually I found a sleek black pair I liked.

“I like these.” I told him, happy that I was finally able to find a pair that suited me. He smiled back at me.

“Okay, let’s just check if these fit.” He directed me in front of him.

“Look into my eyes.”

And that’s when I felt it. The rush of warmth to my cheeks.

You don’t expect to hear hypnotic phrases in public like that, especially for something so mundane. My mouth gaped open slightly as he looked for something, probably how my eyes were positioned behind the frames. Definitely not some kind of recognition behind my eyes at the phrase.

“Good.” I almost expected him to give some more… detailed praise.

“I’m just going to check here as well.” He said as his hand moved towards my ear and pushed against the glasses lightly, checking they wouldn’t move. He was so close to me. My eyes flitted down in embarrassment at the thought.

“Keep looking at me.” He said immediately, and I obeyed without question.

Obeyed is the wrong word.

A hypnotic word.

And that was just a fantasy, after all.

His hand brushed against my neck as he moved it back down to his waist and I shivered slightly at the contact. He pulled out a small ruler to measure whatever it was he needed to measure.

“This really suits you.” He said, more of a cocky smirk on his face as he continued to measure. I stared up at him.

“…The glasses?” I managed to say, but it was hard to think.

He dropped his voice low and stepped closer to me.

“That blank look on your face.”

I fumbled and moved back slightly, blushing furiously, breaking out of whatever trance I’d been in. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and removed the glasses from my face before I could fully process it all.

“I’ll send these off to get your prescription added.” He said, returning to his more chipper tone.

“They’ll be ready in two weeks. If you come at this time,” he pointed to the paper but my eyes were still locked on his, “it’ll be quieter, so we can run more…tests.”

My stomach flipped. Was he really implying…

Without realising I was walking out of the store as he was waving to me, a mischievous glint in his eye.

I’d be back soon. I had an appointment, after all.

#so guess who got a new prescription recently haha #eye tests are a hypnotic goldmine #hypnok1nk #hypnosis #mind control #watcher’s stories #watcher writes

[tyresdeg]

logan sargeant | testing 2024

#smirky little guy #logan sargeant #f1 #pre season testing 2024 #testing 2024 #qian jun/getty #* #I’m writing a love letter to his barber. like hello those layers???

[88m33]

Today is August 8th.

I had a surprisingly good day today! I had my morning coffee so that probably contributed to it. This morning, I was able to sit with my coffee, a homemade cinnamon roll, and the book I'm currently reading (Secret of the White Rose by Stefanie Pintoff) and read for about an hour. It was fantastic. I don't get to read often so when I do, it's a real treat.

I got an email this morning from the people at NYU Steinhardt replying to the questions I sent them. Thankfully, it was good news! They don't require an art history degree but any experience working in the arts or volunteering would be wonderful on my resume. They weren't sure if I'd be able to waiver the business classes but that's a question that would have to be addressed at acceptance. And they even sent me the information for the upcoming Fall 2022 information sessions so I can learn more there. I have a really good feeling about this.

I think it's crazy that just over a year ago, I was crying on my friend's couch in the East Village about how I never wanted to leave and promised her that I'd be living in New York City within the next three years. Well, if this works out, I'd beat my deadline by a whole year.

After getting ready for the day, I went to my university's library and took the LSAT Writing Section. LSAC has you take the writing portion of the test before the rest so they can get a head start on grading. It was surprisingly simple? Or I did it wrong? I hope not. I can't tell you anything about it but I was able to create a pretty strong argument in only 35 minutes. I'm really proud of that.

I then did about four hours of logic game practice. If you can ace the logic game section, then your score will be phenomenal. I'm already pretty good at reading comprehension and logical reasoning, so focusing on logic games was a good use of my time today.

Before class, I ran up the street to Cane's and grabbed some dinner. I ate in my car on an empty parking garage floor so I could blast my music as loud as I could handle. I suggest The Beach by Wolf Alice--it's amazing. Then I went to class from 5:30-5:52. It was a really short lecture and we didn't have a quiz for the last class's content.

Then I came home, answered the email, let the puppies I despise outside (my mom said she's planning on actually sending them to puppy training this time, so cross your fingers), changed the colors of my personal website, and got ready to work out.

I haven't exercised properly in a few months now. Once we started the renovation in my house, we moved everything to the garage, rendering the weightlifting set-up there useless. At some point, my family cleaned out and reorganized the area and now we can actually use everything again. I was messing around with the puppies when the thought struck me that it's Monday and Monday is the perfect day to start a workout routine again and if I don't do it now, then I never will.

I listen to a phenomenal TedTalk about making decisions and habits that stick that changed my perspective on starting new habits and breaking old ones. The man talking said to never put a deadline on it. Never say, "I'll do/not do XYZ until [instert date here]" because as soon as that date comes around, you won't do it anymore. You have to change your perspective about the habit or decision. Instead of giving yourself a deadline, you just accept it as part of your life. Instead of "I will not sugar for one month", say "I don't eat sugar". Period. It's part of who you are now. I think that's a better approach than when my parents tell me to "embrace the suck" and "just do it" and "push through it". Instead of it being a choice, it is now who I am and what I do.

This is all to say, I'm going to work out every day. I am not going to push myself past my limits and burn myself out before I really get started, but I'm going to do some sort of activity every day to stay in shape. I like the way I feel when I lift and I usually sleep better.

So, I worked out and I worked out hard and it was nice. Now, I'm sleepy and I'm going to leave you here. What habit or decision can you embody rather than push through? Are you going to?

Good night loves.

#tumblr diary #prose not poetry #books #read #reading #coffee #cinnamon rolls #nyu #new york university #visual arts #masters degree #new york #nyc #new york city #lsat #writing test #logic games #wolf alice #exercise #tedtalk

[privateolives]

This is probably because I grew up watching 24/7 animal planet, but what finally made the allo/aplatonic thing click for me were the nature's of big cats.

Lions are powerful, regal creatures who are uniquely adapted to pack life. They need these connections to live a healthy life; A lonely lion is a miserable creature indeed.

Jaguars are solitary, beautiful creatures who live happily solitary. They prowl their lush world with self-sufficient majesty. A jaguar is not lonely without a pack. In fact, forcing jaguars to share space with others they do not enjoy is just as damaging as forcing a lion to live alone.

A lion may choose to head out on it's own for the most part, but in the end must return to the pack to thrive. A jaguar can choose to trust and enjoy the company of others, but they never feel the need to form a pack.

Is a jaguar selfish for this? A psychopath, a narcissist or any other such horrid assumptions? Is it a less moral creature than a lion, who seeks others like it to thrive?

Is a lion pathetic, or needy, or selfish for wanting community? For requiring contact with others like they require water? For their inherent need to string complicated webs of relationships that may seem silly or dramatic to others?

Of course not. These are ridiculous questions to even ask.

They are simply lions and jaguars.

In fact, is a jaguar that chooses to spend time with you not as magical as a lion's love? For a creature that needs no bond to thrive to still enjoy your presence enough to share it a time? Is a lion who can prowl the night alone not impressive in its strength and resilience? Is it not awe-inspiring in its ability to conquer a life it was never wired for and reign still?

Are they not both beautiful and awe-inspiring in their own ways, without being wrong?

Alloplatonics. Aplatonics. Are we not both special and beautiful in both our bonds and self-confident happiness equal, in each our ways? Is there not unique beauty in lifelong bonded packs and magical encounters that need no perpetuity to carry life forward?

Are we not but lions and jaguars? Neither wrong, neither selfish, but just different and beautiful creatures in each our ways?

That's how I've come to see it, anyway.

#lgbt #aspec #lgbtqa+ #asexual #aromantic #aroace #loveless #aplatonic #alloplatonic #animals #I woke up at like 3 in themmorning to write this so I apologise for weird wording #I'm not awake enough to go hunting for the videos but if you want to see more about the equal majesty and difference in cats bonding #I suggest looking up Kevin Richardson's work with lions and panthers #I love animals. I hope I didn’t come off as degrading to anyone by using them as comparison #I can assure you the association only carries the deepest respect from me. #anyway all the aro discourse floating about made me think of this issue again #and how explaining allo/a-platonic needs has been a difficult task in the past #you're all valid no matter your labels or shapes or spots or manes #remember that when an orientation you don't understand comes to the lgbtable your job isn't to test them #it's to make room