#y'all really love coming after vulnerable people huh

[favatrice]

kill yourself

If you pay me for it

#y'all really love coming after vulnerable people huh #dick move #ask #anonymous

[honey-tea-and-cookies]

Messages For These Placements <3

Aquarius Sun/Mercury: Y'all always gotta be the smartest in the room huh? Don't argue, we both know it. Even if you're defensive smh 🙄. Now this isn't to say you're wrong. You absolutely are smart. But you're more than that, you know? I know people have made your intelligence a huge part of your identity (gifted kid burnout anyone??) but you are actually way more than that. You don't need to know everything to be of value. You matter beyond your intelligence and learning capability. Side note: You are so funny and it's such a shame people don't realise it more. Like, astrology people do, but regular people in your regular life don't see you as funny. That's bullshit tbh y'all are hysterical.

Taurus Moon: Stop dealing with your emotions through baking. Banana bread is temporary. The problem will stay. Fix the issue at it's root. Come on now. You're amazing at giving advice, for once please use your own wisdom. Also, I know this is a huge realisation but; not everyone has the same love language as you. By that I mean, it's not that they don't care about you. It's not that they don't put as much effort in as you do. It's that you just express your affections differently. You give advice, you cook for people, you help them with clothes and general design choices, you help them with work, etc. That's great! But they might not do that for you, and it doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means they might show it as texting you a meme that reminded them of you, inviting you to play video games, re-watching an episode so you can catch up, letting you pick the music, checking on you after you fall asleep, etc. You know?? Important lesson you guys. Finally, PUT UP BOUNDARIES. I'm begging. I know you want to be selfless and I know you try to be kind and I know you struggle to do things you know will upset others in some way. Your happiness/safety/comfort/wellbeing is more important though. I know you get told by astrologers that Taurus is 'selfish' or 'egotistical', and they can be, but in this place especially I think it makes some really kind and gentle people. Y'all are also bad bitches but that's not the point here. The point is, set boundaries. Thank you :)

Capricorn Venus: No because why do does Cap Venus make life so hard it's not fair 😭. You want to be open and vulnerable and loved by your person so bad, I know, it's just really hard. It's just... uncomfortable, you know? I know vulnerability is a struggle for everyone, but it's truly paralysing for Cap Venus natives. Stuck in a limbo between the carnal yet truly deep desire for romantic, domestic bliss and desperately wishing for their heart remain untouched, and therefore unharmed. Life is hard and our minds are cruel, my love. I know. You'll get there honey :)

Mars in 1st House: RBF. Everyone thinks you're a bitch. That's my whole comment. Oh, and that literally every person knows what you're thinking. You are NOT slick, sorry babes. Love you though????

Lilith in 4th House: This isn't a callout this is a cry for help. Please get therapy you guys. Or a hug. Or cut off some family members. Please treat yourself today. TW: Death, sexual harassment, mental illness, emotional manipulation, implication of suicide, familial trauma. Y'all are always like "I've had a blessed life, I'm so grateful for what I have" and you've lost a major family member, been sexually harassed by your uncle, had to talk down your own parent and had a whole mental illness be blamed on you 🤨. TW: Over. Baby take a breather. This was not an attack on you, I just can't handle getting too serious right now lol. Please though, seriously, give me a fucking hug. We both need a snuggle okay? Or if you're uncomfortable with touch, we can sit on the same couch and enjoy each other's general comforting presence. Let's make a pact to heal, okay? I love you <3

Jupiter in 7th House: Fake scenarios much? Pull yourself together sweetheart. We both know you're at least a little scared of love. Yet, it's one of your greatest dreams?? You won't meet anyone by day dreaming, ya know. If you genuinely aren't ready yet, that's okay! However, if the first one is you. If you are the person who desperately wants a relationship but is too busy day dreaming to do anything about it... I don't know what to tell you cutie pie. Good luck?? 💀

Okay everyone, that's all I have for today! Thank you so much for reading. If you have any of these placements, let me know! Tell me if you relate or not lol please relate to me I CANNOT be the only bitch like this right??? I love you guys so much, and have an amazing day/night!!

#astro notes #astro observations #astro community #astrology #astrology observations #aquarius #aquarius stellium #aquarius sun #aquarius mercury #taurus #taurus moon #capricorn #capricorn venus #mars in 1st #1st house #lilith #lilith in 4th #jupiter #jupiter in 7th #7th house #mars #vent

[applepi-1]

He's afraid of hurting you

Tsukishima x Y/n

Terushima x y/n

Atsumu x y/n

Warnings: fluff

Mentions of rape on Atusma's part.... sorry :(

Also I do request…

-596 words-

You and Tsuki have been friends for as long as you remember, it's always been you, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. Always. But somehow you fell for the tall salty dino-loving jerk. You guys did everything together and you were the only other person he tolerated. When you met the team people asked Yamaguchi if you guys were dating, both laughing until you saw Tsukishima. You ran to him and began to bug him, much to everyone's shock (except Yama) when the tall boy smiled softly down at you.

Tsukishima also fell for you, but... he was scared, he covered his feelings with salty comments, but with you he could never, you were his soft spot. He always admired the way you smiled, laugh, or the face you make when you were concentrated or were nervous. He finds it adorable, but he won't tell you that. He'll tease you about how your face looks, but you'd laugh it off.

So, come to both of your surprises when you confess. It was a normal Tuesday, except it was just you two walking home, since Yamaguchi was sick. "Hey, Tsuki, can I be honest with you?" You asked once y'all reached your house.

"Would you rather lie?"

"No, god no... but uh, I like you..." You nervously messed with your fingers. You felt as if your heart was hitting your ribcage as hard as Oikawa serves a ball. Tsukishima felt as if he was dreaming, feeling his stomach twist and his heard dance. But... still fear ate at the boy.

"I like you too..." You smiled immediately. "But I can't be with you." And immediately faded.

"What...?" What kind of confession it that, he began to panic as he saw tears form.

"It's not that I don't want to be, Y/n, trust me, I do... but..." The words got stuck in his throat, he's not used to being this vulnerable. "I-I'm scared..." Your eyes grew at how soft his voice was, he was biting his lip so he didn't show his feelings.

"W-Why...?" You watch him tug on his jersey, the showers were down so none of the players thought of changing.

"I... I don't want to hurt you..."

"Is this about, E/n?" You asked, talking about the bitch who left Tsukishima for her best friend. He said something uncalled for, but that didn't give her the right to cheat and blame Tsukishima.

"Maybe... no, this is about how I'm not good in relationships, the last one I was in, she cheated on because of what I said to her... I.."

"I would never." You finished his sentence making him look at you. "Tsuki, you guys got into an argument, big deal. Couples argue you salty dino." Tsukishima surpassed a laugh as you continued, "It did not give her the right to cheat because you called her out for flirting with that idiot she cheated on you with. I know you loved her, but... I'm not her. If we fight, I'll sit in front of you despite your harsh words. Just like I always do. The only guy I want to flirt with or have my attention is you." He looked down at you and felt his shoulders drop.

"R-Really?" You grabbed his face and smiled.

"I'm willing to do this if you are..." He looked down at you before wrapping his arms around you, you sighed into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I don't deserve you... I love you so much, Y/n..." You smiled leaning into your best friend, your now boyfriend.

"I love you too, Tsuki."

-751 words-

You sighed into your seat, watching your best friend flirt up a storm with someone else. Kazuma Bobata knew of your feelings, and of the feelings of #1, Yūji Terushima. He sighed and sat next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder making you jump and look away from your crush. "Oh, Kazuma. Hi." He just gave you a look, you furred your brows, what crawled up his ass? "Everything good, Kaz?"

"No, our friend is hurting you." You raised your brows. "Don't deny it, I'm not stupid." He said once he saw you about to open your mouth, you sighed and looked down.

"How long...?"

"Since we met." I sighed again resting my head in my hands.

"What do I do...?"

"Confess you, idiot." You looked up to him immediately, Terushima looked in your direction hearing Kazuma call you an idiot.

"What, no?!" You didn't mean to yell but you did, your best friend left the girl standing there confused as he walked over to you, seeing you laugh a little.

"Everything okay, Y/n?"

"Huh?" Your face reddens hoping he didn't hear Kazuma say something about confessing.

"I'm trying to get her to confess to her crush." You immediately whipped your head to Kazuma.

"Dude!" You slapped his arm, Terushima felt his heartbreak, wincing a little, but it went unnoticed to you both.

"How about you practice on Terushima?"

"What..... /////-/////" Both of you blushed and looked at Kazuma who knew exactly what he was doing.

"Yeah, it'll help you both, Terushima needs to confess to his crush as well." Terushima so badly wanted to hit his friend, but he was right.

"Oh... I..."

"Fine." You looked at your friend in shock, "I... I-I'll help." His heart tugged and winced at his words, as long as your happy, right...? You blinked a couple times...

"Uh... okay...? U-Um, w-when...?"

"After school..."

--

You sighed into your bed, looking at your best friend's eyes. Sighing this is difficult, think of him as someone else. "Okay. Okay. I like you, a lot, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do. I have since we were running on the playground laying at how stupid a kid looked, and... I like you despite you flirting with every girl you see..." As you continued to list why you liked him with your eyes closed, Terushima felt a smile form on his face, you like him? Once you finished and opened your eyes and saw he was smiling... it that a good sign, then you remembered. "Right... uh, your turn to... p-practice your c-confession..." It hurt you to say practice, you wish this was real.

"Oh... uh, right... Look, I like you so much, but... I don't think it'd work." What?

"Dude, horrible confession, what are you trying to do? Hurt her, make her happy, and confused?"

"Shut up and let me finish." You sighed and punched his shoulder, indicating your listening. "I like you a lot, but... I don't want to be the one hurting you in the end, Y/n... I can't do that. Not to you. I hate myself for letting my ex walk away because I chose to flirt with someone else. But with you... I... I can't do that... It pains me to flirt with other girls when the only girl I want to flirt with is you... But it won't last, I'll fuck up eventually." Congrats, Terushima, you made me happy, sad, and confused.

"I... I'm sorry... what the fuck gives you the right to have this all one-sided." His eyes widen a little, he should've known you had something to say. "So what your ex left, I'm not them, Teru. I like you, hell I fell in love with you and I trust you. If you fuck up and flirt with someone we'll talk it out, not just call it quits, or if you feel the need to flirt with someone, pretend not to know me, and flirt up a storm you dumbass." He laughed a little grabbing your face, but you weren't done. "I love you, you, I know you like me, Teru... but, I love you, and I love all your mistakes, I mean, I stuck around this far haven't I...? Doesn't that mean something... Hm." He cut your rambling off pressing his lips firmly to yours.

"You talk too much." He kissed you again, this time you shivered as the coldness of his tongue ring hit your lip. "I love you. God, I love you."

-959 words-

Atsumu knew giving you a spare key to his house was foolish. But he wanted to make sure you knew you were welcome, when you reached his house it was 2 in the am, and you needed your best friend more than anything. You took out your spare key and opened his door, jumping when you see Osamu in the kitchen. "Ah, welcome home, Y/n." You laughed shutting the door quietly behind you.

"H-Hi... O-Osamu..." He looked over in your direction immediately noticing the way your voice went high and the way you choked on your words.

"Y-Y/n... did something happen?" You pulled your hand over your mouth, keeping your sobs quiet, Osamu immediately dashed to you, leaving what he was doing in the kitchen. "Oi... ya okay?" You shooked your head as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you sob into his chest. "Talk to me, Y/n..." Osamu was like your big brother, he knows of your feelings toward his twin.

"I... I went on a date..." He sat you down on the couch, giving you some room. "I... H-he... took me to a cafe... and after we ate and stuff... I felt... d-dizzy... and... I c-couldn't stop him..." Atsuma walked down feeling thirsty when he heard your voice, he stopped on the stairs looking at you. "H-How do I... tell A-Atsumu...?" He watched as his brother kissed your head and brought you into his chest.

"Do you want me to tell him...?" He watched as you shook your head. "Just... be honest with him." Atsumu sniffed the air and spoke.

"Is something burning...?" You turn your attention to the other twin. Osamu immediately got up and ran to the kitchen. Atsumu looked at you and noticed how you wouldn't meet his eyes. "Y/n...?" He couldn't help but think you were crying and asking for advice on how to tell him something, he thinks you're seeing his brother, and don't know how to tell him. But boy is he far off.

"I... I need to talk to you... Osamu k-knows a-already..." He looked down at you confused, taking his brother's spot next to you.

"Y/n..." He wants to tell you he knows, but something about your face is saying to wait.

"I... I... I c-can't..." You buried your face into his chest, he was taken back but immediately hugged you. "I... I don't know why I can't... tell you... the words just... won't come out..." He furred his brows, hoping his misreading things.

"It's just me, Y/n." You broke down more, that's the thing, you didn't even want to go on a date, but, you wanted to get rid of your feelings for the blonde twin. You know he'd never like you, but he does. He really does.

"T-That's the p-point..." Osamu came back in and tapped your shoulder.

"I-I don't know much, about ya s-situation, but, here..." You grabbed the water from him and smiled lightly, that confirmed it, he was misreading things.

"Y/n...?" You looked down at your cup.

"Hey, just tell him what you told me."

"Okay..." He furred his brows and sighed.

"Y/n-"

"I was raped." You blurted out cutting Atsumu off... out of all things. He never expected that, Osamu sat there rubbing your shoulder.

"You... what...?"

"She went on a date, got dizzy after..." Atsumu sat closer to you, pulling you into his chest, rubbing your back softly.

"I..." The words got stuck in his throat. "I... will y-you be able to... sleep...?" You laughed at how careful he's being.

"C-Can I stay, w-with you... tonight...?"

"Ya guys can take the guest room, so ya can talk privately, and not annoy me." You both laughed, Atsumu helped you stand before leading you to the bed.

"Ya can take the bed." You gave him a look.

"I, uh, please don't make me sleep alone." He looked at you and sighed.

"I won't," He rubbed your arms gently. He laid over the covers as you laid under, you laughed. "What?"

"I don't bite." He laughed getting under the covers. He watched as you closed your eyes, scooting a little closer. "You can close your eyes and try to sleep you know."

"Sorry, I might not be able to sleep. I usually sleep without a shirt."

"Oh. Then take your shirt off, ya goof." He froze for a second, but slowly sat up, slipping his shirt over his head. He laid back down resting on his back. "Better?"

"Yeah." You nuzzled closer sighing a little.

"Uh, Tsumu, can uh, can you hold me..." He looked at you and saw how you weren't meeting his eyes.

"Come here," you nuzzled your head into his chest letting his arm drape over your shoulder, rubbing it softly, you let out a shaky breath. "Better?"

"Hm, thank you... Tsumu." He squeezed you in response. Once he felt your body get heavier, he kissed your head.

"I'd do anything for ya, I love ya, ya idiot. But... I don't want to hurt ya..." You smiled slightly before looking up making Atsumu turn a deep red. "I thought ya were asleep."

"Eh, but for the record, I love you too... to be honest, I went on the date because... I thought you didn't like me so..."

"Hm, so it's my fault." You sat up immediately as he looked like he was about to cry.

"No, god no."

"If I would have grown a pair, and told you how I felt... none of this would have happened."

"And I wouldn't be here, laying next to you." You traced your fingers over his abs, "I wouldn't be touching you like this." You leaned down pecking his lips. "Kissing you."

"No, no, we'd still do that." You both laugh cuddling into each other. "I love ya."

"I love you too. And you could never hurt me."

#haikyuu #terushima x y/n #tsukishima x y/n #atsumu x y/n #fluff #angst #rape #cute confessions #not good enough #insecure #hurt #fear

[chiizuburger]

Let's talk about the series Giri/Haji (2019) aka the most underrated series in Netflix

I literally just finished Giri/Haji and I need to talk about it. Because I don't think I've ever been this...in love with a series since ever.

First things first, I'mma share a little bit how I learned about the series:

I became obsessed with Sophia di Martino after seeing her in Loki, and like anyone with a heart, I looked through her IMDB to find where else can I see her?!

And I stumbled upon Flowers, which is an equally phenomenal series also available in Netflix, and I discovered Will Sharpe.

And lemme tell ya, he's a beautiful piece of mankind and I learned that not only did he write and direct and act in Flowers, but he is also the lucky husband of Sophia.

Then I saw that Will won a BAFTA for his role in Giri/Haji. Learned that it was also in Netflix and a week later (because I wanted to savor it), here we are.

Okay. No-spoiler thoughts first.

If you dig detective series and/or British series and/or Japanese drama, this delicious piece of bilingual media is for you.

If you love the whole "found family" premise, this is for you.

Off the bat, Will's character Rodney is the clear scene stealer of this series. Right from the first episode, you just know you're gonna love him and wanna give him all the love he sorely needs.

I adore that Kenzo isn't written as a macho detective lead. He allows himself to be vulnerable and isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions.

Of course, as the Japanese man he is, it takes time for him to accept his emotions, but I'm happy he doesn't resort to anger or self-pity to deal with them.

I love how all the women--and I mean all of the women characters--are strong-willed and unapologetic and flawed and fierce and I-will-stab-you-in-the-legs-if-you-grope-me energy. All of em. They take no bull shit and I respect that.

It is particularly nice to see that kind of energy with Japanese women, who are often written as innocent and demure and pure.

My most favorite aspects of this series is its cinematography, its editing, and its storytelling.

The various ways it uses cinematic language and different forms of media to highlight important moments of the story really makes the series a well-crafted show.

My favorite episodes are Episode 3, 4, and 6.

Episode 4 was particularly memorable. It is one of the best flashback episodes I've ever seen and it deepens our perspective of every main character.

My favorite sequence comes in both Episode 6 and Episode 8, the finale.

Despite getting recognized by BAFTA, the show got cancelled after one season.

But you know what?

(Spoiler thoughts start under the cut)

I think it was a smart move to keep it a one-off drama.

Everything actually wrapped up nicely. There's one semi-loose end that I need reassurance about, which is whether Rodney and Sarah (our female lead detective) become friends again and Rodney can fully realize that he is loved by his newfound family.

Apart from that, this is one series where the semi-open ending finale trope works.

I think the whole Ian-might-rat-us-out subplot could have played out better? Or maybe it could not have played out at all? Like, maybe instead of Abbot being at the rooftop, maybe it could have been Ian?

I actually wasn't sure about how we should feel about Ian. I mean, he didn't deserve Sarah, but...he's...not...a bad...person? I mean, a sketchy detective and a bad boyfriend, yes, but it didn't fully read out to me as "don't trust him" or "stay away from him."

Because when Sarah said in the second episode that her ex was a man who did bad things "until he couldn't," I heard that as he physically abused her. Like, that shit of a man.

But...I don't know. Maybe I missed out on something.

Plus, WHO DID PUT THE SNAKE IN SARAH'S LETTER BOX? Was that some kind of sicko prank?! Did one of her neighbors have it as a pet and it accidentally went to her letterbox???

If Ian was worked for the mafia, maybe that would have worked better? Like, switch Vickers, for Ian, maybe?

Gosh, Vickers, am I right? I mean, who would have thought Justin Long would be a part of this?

ROY was a surprise. Did not expect that twist in the finale. I feel bad for him though because he was really just a bloke caught up in a sticky situation. Like, he's not a bad guy, too. He's just in a bad situation.

Huh.

It's like what Kenzo said, huh? "We're not bad people. We're just doing bad things."

Kenzo and Sarah, right? I felt like it wasn't necessary for them to get romantic, but after Episode 3 with that silent exchange, I appreciate that they went that direction.

I also appreciate that Kenzo was fully aware that he is married and Sarah was fully aware of it too. She knew it was the worst way to let light in.

And I'm glad that there was a moment between Kenzo and Rei where they allowed themselves (or at least Rei allowed Kenzo) to go off their separate ways.

I love the detail that Rei was actually in contact with Yuto and Natsuko is an badass old woman who likes to live on the edge.

The way she said, "Then we will fight" when Eiko and Rei worried about the yakuzas. I mean!

Okay, okay. I'mma back up a bit, because the reason why I thought the whole Ian subplot didn't work was because it felt like the writers eventually didn't know what to do with Rodney?

Like, why bring this kind of pain to Rodney?!

But then, you know, thinking about it as I am writing this, we all know Rodney would be with Taki and it might be Rodney who gets in trouble with Jiro.

Ahh, Jiro. That...dangerous specimen.

Glad he didn't kill Toshio.

But still, my biggest concern for the ending of this series is that we leave Rodney at such a low place.

Like, I just need to know that he needs up okay and he reunites with Sarah and Taki and all live together in London now. And Rodney's restarting his life with a better direction in life, but of course struggles with relapse?

Okay, I am seeing now where the second series could have went on. The creator said it would have been a "Rodney-Taki centric" season.

Gosh, so maybe they would have changed genre?! Aaaahhhhh! but who knows? I mean, I imagine the yakuzas are still after the Mori brothers.

But then again, Fukuhara and Endo are dead sooo...

Giri/Haji, right?! It's... It's a great piece of media.

Anyway, if you wanna talk about Giri/Haji, please feel free to send me a message!

PLEASE! Haha. Take care, y'all

#giri/haji #giri haji #giri / haji #kelly macdonald #will sharpe #yosuke kubozuka #takehiro hira #aoi okuyama

[softcallofdutyimagines]

Stay | Russell Adler x fem!bell!Reader

Summary: Despite having developed deep feelings for you after all this time working together, Adler takes you to antarctica like he was told. The only issue is... Things aren't as they seem when he finally confronts you.

Aka, sorry Treyarch, but this time the thotlers win.

SKSKSKS I ONLY MADE THAT POST TO TEST THE WATER, SO THANK YOU @smokeywhalee FOR ASKING FOR THE FIC. I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS WHOLE ASS THING LAST NIGHT SO COME GET THIS FLUFFY ASS BREAD Y'ALL AND ENJOY

Tags: fluff, angst, and angst with a happy ending

Warnings: some strong language and you might need a tissue box bc I sure did 😭😭

"Nothing like arctic air, eh?"

Russell Alder stands just a few feet away, hands resting squarely on his hips, looking out over the cliffs.

"Sure", you smile tiredly, a little sleepy from the long flight, as you walk up beside him. Without needing permission, you slip your pinky around his as he loosens his grip to allow you to do so.

Adler takes a glance down at your intertwined hands. He can't keep you in the dark for long. But still, he's afraid to tell you...

You move to lean your head on his shoulder, only to be left alone as he wrenches himself away.

"Listen Bell, there's... There's something I need to tell you", he refuses himself a glance at you. It would hurt him too much. You make an inquisitive noise and a long silence passes.

Perhaps it would be best just to get the hard part over. He was never one for beating around the bush anyway. "They sent me out here to kill you, Bell"

His voice is hardly audible, a clever trick to disguise the hurt in his voice. He grits his teeth, wondering if you really needed to know that, but then he remembers... He's done lying to you. You deserve to know.

Adler braces himself for the backlash, perhaps even a bullet in the back. Instead, he's met with a whisper.

"I know"

Your voice is only audible thanks to the bitter wind helping it along to his ear, leaving a ghostly caress as it passes him by. Russell turns around this time, almost disappointed to see your back still turned to him.

"How d-?"

You turn slowly, and even from there he can see the tear rolling down your face, "Why else would we be out here?", you gesture around to the great nothingness enveloping you both. You sniff and swipe a hand across you cheek, a joyless laugh escaping you, "Besides, you never take me anywhere nice"

In any other scenario, it would be playful and teasing, just like he knows you for.

Adler huffs a half hearted laugh at that, before tearing his gaze away. "Bell, I..."

"Oh, cut the shit Russell. Just do it, alright?", the tears flow freely down your glassy eyes now, "I know you have to... Really, I get it. A-and it's alright, you know? I-"

By now, Adler has made his way across to you. Even now, he hates to see you so upset. He gently grips your arms in his strong, steady hands, hoping against hope to give you some sense of ease. He needs to finish what he has to say.

"Bell..."

He then tries to say your name, but you won't allow it.

"Just shut up, alright? God, I hate you! I h-hate you..."

You struggle in his grip, beating weakly against his chest as your body becomes wracked pwith sobs, voice trailing off pathetically. Adler pulls you close, just in time, as you collapse into his arms.

"God, why? Why why...?"

You're choked up with hiccuping sobs again as Adler lowers you both to kneel in the grass. He squeezes you tighter, comfortingly he hopes, and if nothing else, to keep him from allowing tears of his own to fall too.

With a ragged gasp, you find your voice, allowing your anger and frustration to seap in at last, "After all I did for you people... This is how yo-?"

But you're cut off, and suddenly all your senses are overwhelmed with... Him.

Adlers lips crush into yours, the eagerness with which he kisses you is enough to erase all the fear, and pain, and sadness. At least, for the moment.

The crisp arctic air only accentuates the musky smell of his cologne, infusing every breath you breathe with its familiar scent. Charred birch and a hint of cigarettes. You almost smile at that.

He's been trying to quit, per your request, but... Old habits die hard.

The uneven stubble of his scarred chin tickles as he works over your lips, sucking gently, but adamantly once, then twice, before sustaining one long kiss again.

At last you part, lungs burning for air. Small puffs of condensation intermingle between your mouths as you catch your breath.

Adler takes one last gasp for air, to steady himself more then anything, before delivering one more kiss to your forehead. He knows he doesn't deserve to think such things, but...

You have no idea how long he's wanted to kiss you.

A few more tears start up from you again, but in that moment, he decides once and for all to commit to all the promises he's been wanting to make to you. He's done watching you suffer, and it's time you knew.

"I'm not going to kill you Bell...", he whispers against the warm skin of your forehead before pulling you to the crook of his neck.

You sniff, instantly frozen as you try to make sense of what you just heard. Too soon, faster then your mind can catch up, you search for words, "Wha-? Why? How? Russell, if they find out they'll kill yo-"

"Shhhh, they're not going to find out. I'm defecting. Right here, right now"

"B-but, why? I already told you, it's o-"

Adler moves his hands to cup your face, training your gaze to be all on him.

"No, it's not ok Bell. What we did to you... What I did to you... Was fucked, and unfair, but... it was for the greater good. But this? No."

"W-well ok... but-?"

"I'm doing this because I love you Bell", he barks it out, almost angrily, but even behind those old tinted aviators, you can see his expression soften almost immediately as he gently strokes your cheek with his thumb, "I love you... So much. Do you understand?"

He pauses for a moment, and his grand show of steely emotions breaks as he removes the sunglasses to wipe away his tears. And when he looks back at you... You're surprised at the reminder of how beautiful his eyes are.

"And... I'm... sorry I never told you before... Well, this"

Your mind is reeling at the rush of information. This... confession, isn't exactly news to you, but to hear him say it...

With one more sniff, Adler manages to pull himself together for a final moment of vulnerability, "Look, I know this is... a lot, but I was thinki- I...", he sighs and takes a deep breath. This is it.

"Would you... Come away with me? The CIA is going to be looking for both of us, and, well... No body and all, so I was thinking... We could find somewhere... off the grid, just you and me, start fresh? I know it'll be tough bu-"

"Yes!"

"-t I can protect you an- Wait... Yes?"

"Yes!", you seal the statement with a quick kiss. A promise. Then, you grow serious, "There's nothing left for me out here Russell... You're my only choice"

"...I'm sorry to hear that"

You cup a hand to his face, a tiny glimpse of that beautiful smile he loves so much peeking through, "No no, I didn't mean... This is a good thing. I meant to say, I wouldn't want to choose anyone else"

Adler sniffs and huffs a laugh, rocking gently as you pull in for an embrace, "Well in that case... I'm sorry to hear you have such terrible taste in men"

That earns a genuine laugh from you, and to him, it sounds like music.

You slip your hand into his, holding on just by the fingers before reaching up to plant a kiss over the scar on his jaw. You always rather liked those scars of his, no matter how much he wishes they never were.

But then again... He loves the way you use them to make him feel handsome, and he'll never understand how you do it.

After a few moments more, Adler gets up, pulling you to your feet as well. You wipe away the last of your tears, and as you glance up at him, a look of uncertainty crosses you.

He knows he has no right to ask you to trust him. Not after all the lies and the manipulation that got you and him to this point. But even after all that... The fact that you're willing to give him a chance humbles him to no end.

Adler looks back at you, and wishes for nothing more then the ability to make sure you never have to worry, or hurt, or live in fear ever again. But if there's one thing he does know, he'll be damned if he doesn't try.

"Come on kid", he rubs some warmth back into your arms, then kisses the top of your hair, "let's get out of here, huh? I've got just the place in mind..."

And just the place indeed.

A few months of preparation go by first, but at last you've managed to escape to the Swiss country side. Fields and fields of vibrant green grass and small wildflowers pass you by as Adler drives along, the great alps standing tall and strong just in the distance.

The sun glows warmly over head, and a little sparkle catches your eye. You look down and admire the ring on your hand once again, turning it this way and that, before stealing a glance at Russell's matching one.

With a couple more twists and turns, Adler asks you to close your eyes. A little while more, and the car comes to a stop. "Hey, don't open yet!", He hurries around to help you out, guiding you along want feels like a gravel path.

He puts his hands over yours, "Ready?"

You nod, the suspense absolutely eating you up. Finally, he moves your hands aside, revealing a small, brightly painted house before you. A stone path leads up to a white fenced porch complete with a swing for two.

The whole thing is practically overgrown with wysteria, coiling in and around the pillars and walls, and out front a wild garden stretches up towards the sun.

It's perfect.

You whip around, finding yourself unable to speak. But, he already knows. Adler sweeps you up off your feet and gives you a little spin as you shriek in surprise, melting into a fit of laughter as he sets you down.

He leans in and kisses you, just another of countless more to come, before pulling back. You have no idea how much it means to him to see you this happy....

"Welcome home"

#BITCH IM CRYING BYE 😭😭😭 #black ops cold war #call of duty #russell adler #russell adler x bell #russell adler x reader

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

6x13: The Gauntlet

Two enjoyable episodes back-to-back? I'm shook! Obviously 6x13 lacks the serious messaging and emotional weight of last week's episode but the silliness of it was actually entertaining. My thoughts:

- opening scene is a supercorp hug. christ y'all need to warn people! i was not ready. the way kara's face lit up when she saw lena, the way lena smiled back at her. the way they hugged fully pressed. my heart is full.

- kara n lena immediately whisking away to the fortress right after that for some alone time. i love where your head is at kara 😏

- look at dansen being all cute and shit! who gave them the right honestly?

- glad they continued with kelly still processing the stuff from last episode. and alex is really trying to do better. dansen is the example to follow when it comes to healthy adult relationships. i really didn't think this show was capable.

- it's getting harder and harder to like andrea

- i actually forgot willy was shot last season. and they worked through his trauma off screen. what was the point of showing him getting a blast of courage if we weren't going to see him face his fears and shit. y'all really don't like deep topics huh.

- andrea: where's the journalist i hired?

apparently crisis changed him from a stalkery dickhead to the nice baking guy he is now. sorry girl. valid question tho

- can i just say that everyone was looking exceptionally hot in this episode? like lena, kelly and nxyly in particular jesus help me.

- i haven't enjoyed j'onn this much in so long. he was hilarious. letting that mad scientist lady plummel him in the chest, saying "hold that thought", not moving away from the dragon fire.

- brainy possessed by veeta you could tell jesse was told to just have fun with it

- also did this kryptonian witch just say 'ya mon'?

- lena looking all smol and shit with her little white sneakers and soft clothes and her waterfall hair. kara! kiss this woman already!

- kara in the suit talking privately with lena. honestly never thought i'd see the day

- kara: you really don't believe in magic?

lena: i believe in you

NO ONE TOUCH ME!!!

- this seriously tho this is such a true statement. they both have believed in each other from minute one, when they had no reason to. and yea lena tried to hate kara for a little while but even then, she never stopped believing in kara's compassion and optimism and kara never stopped believing in lena's goodness and brilliance. just say the words 'i love you' explicitly please.

- interesting that kara's test of courage takes place during her rescuing alex's plane and not idk...all the times she was too scared to tell lena. she thinks it's that one random dude she didn't save and not the times with lena (something she admits terrified her). the only thing i can think of for this moment they chose is because yes kara embraced her powers that night but she didn't step out into the public eye as herself, as the last daughter of krypton. she wasn't vulnerable in that respect. because she was scared to be discovered. because she grew up with that fear and need to fit in (she talks about that in later S1). but i will only accept this IF the show ends with kara stepping out into the world fully and no longer having to hide or deny parts of herself. but i also don't see how you make the courage test about telling lena and not have that end with kara admitting she's in love with her so. that might be why.

- nxyly's courage test was actually very sad. i feel for her truly it's not fair what happened. but her being vulnerable about her feelings is interesting because kara still hasn't learned how to do that

- lena having some convenient device to contain the totem just cuz kara needs it. we love handy and resourceful girlfriends

- what was the point of having lena at the museum if she wasn't gonna be affected? y'all copped out!

- that device that was harnessing lightning also somehow made lightning? is that how it works?

- i ASCENDED when i saw alex and lena being the only ones at kara's bedside. like straight out of fanfiction wtf. how many more times are they going to establish that the two most important people in kara's life is alex (her sister and ride or die) and lena (her best friend and perfect partner). how many times before you make this shit canon?!?!

- 'a reluctant earth witch' it's a very interesting way to pronounce lena luthor

- but also, y'all are telling me that a human witch can tap into imp magic? reality warping magic? all-powerful magic? fuck, lena is really on her way to becoming the most powerful being on the planet

- kelly showing up because lena called. im gonna go ahead and assume this indicates that lena and kelly have also spoken about lena ignoring her message. and that they had a meaningful discussion about it and what happened at the ormfell. because as much as i love lena, she deserved to be dragged just as much (if not more) as the superfriends.

- kelly shielding alex was a good visual. kinda stupid but nice.

- dansen couch scene i stopped breathing cuz i swore kelly was about to propose. i love them so much

- supercorp couch scene is where i died because it came at me without warning. kara sans glasses in her civilian clothes. not performing as kara danvers or supergirl. here she's just kara, an alien refugee chilling with her best friend. which is all she ever wanted and she deserves it!

- kara handing lena her plate. stop it!

- but also lena is in the same clothes all episode. which means they left the tower together. and headed straight to kara's apartment. lena definitely slept over in kara's pjs. I'M NOT OKAY!

- this is the first couch scene we got since alex n kara in 6x08. where Kara admits she doesn't want to be alone anymore. and now she isn't because lena is back. god i actually can't.

- kara's face when lena tells her about being a witch. she's so smitten! they're in love your honour

- lena saying that kara is the epitome of courageous with such seriousness and intensity. even though kara tries to brush it off cuz she can't really agree right now, lena means it 100%

- lena's sad face when kara wanted to stay connected to nxyly even though she could get hurt. worried wife energy we love to see it

- poor nxyly must be confused asf

- but also it's canon that kara feels hopeful and happy around lena and no one can take that from me. and it's not just words. kara's behavior is different, she's smiling more, she's opening up. acting choices melissa explain yourself!

not bad at all. we were fed lots of supercorp after months of nothing. they better keep up this momentum. it was lighter episode in terms of emotions and what have you compare to pervious ones. seems like the season is officially kicking off now that lena is back. probably going to have a totem of the week kinda deal but hopefully they include kelly's storyline with the heights cuz i wanna see the conclusion of that.

#supergirl #supercorp #dansen #kara danvers #lena luthor #kelly olsen #alex danvers #brainy #nia nal #6x13 spoilers

[denkisdurag]

todoroki, midoriya, bakugo x reader

summary : tiktok popularized memes that y'all quote !! (headcanon)

warnings: swearing, mention of sex

a/n: please request things in the comments or my askbox ! bc i mean ,, can u tell i'm running out of ideas 😔

---

shoto todoroki !

you to him - "y'all hear sum?"

todoroki can be a lil frustrating sometimes

so when he gets on your nerves

the silent treatment is an ideal way to go for you

so when he would try to talk to you again

you would just look at no one in particular and point behind you with your thumb

and say "y'all hear sum?"

you were saying it out of irritation but when y'all made up, you still said it, only now it was ironic

todoroki isn't a very vocal person anyway so it was appropriate no matter what

but you mostly said it when he calls you out on something

like when he says or suggests that you did something stupid or wrong

you would just awkwardly scratch your head with one finger and be like

"y'all hear sum?"

it would at least get a grin out of him

not that he would know how to admit or express it but he loved your goofiness wholeheartedly

him to you - "if two plus two is four..."

todoroki is not a meme kind of person

but he would be ceo of telling you what decisions you should make

he isn't controlling, he just naturally knows what the better path would be and wants to make sure you get the best result bc he loves u aw

that being said,

when you defy him and turn up upset

he knows what cheers you up

funny tingz !!

so when you fuck up

he tries to make it laughable

for example

you were training and doing pretty well

but then you missed the target horribly

like

it wasn't even close

dumb bitch

you slouched and frowned and todoroki walked up to you, completely straight, no body language at all

"[name]."

"huh?"

"if two plus two is four." he starts, putting his hands together flat and briefly covering his mouth with his index fingers

"and five plus five is ten." he starts turning toward the target

"what the hell is this?" he gestures his hands out to your failed aim

my baby don't curse like that

you giggle and shove his upper arm

he made u smile ! mission accomplished !

he subtly grinned and went back to his own target

and it didn't matter how many times or how badly you missed

because he was there to support you either way

fuck i'm getting soft moving on

izuku midoriya !

him to you - the debby ryan hair tuck

funnily enough, deku's meme isn't even verbal

but it's just as hilarious lmao

everytime you say something sweet

or like

fluster him

he just tilts his head down and makes awkward eye contact with you

tucking his green hair behind his ear

you've helped develop his humor

so he's still soft, just not as much

so he does it when you insult him too

of course, he knows you're just joking

so when you come for his neCk

he does it the exact same like

"you are so stupid, midoriya."

*debby ryan* "you really think so?"

he just does it out of habit at this point

you to him - "don't be shy!"

y'all know that deku is babie

and often second guesses himself

so this meme is like ,, a boost

but instead of saying "put some more", you say whatever applies

like

when you're training and he doesn't want to hurt you

"don't be shy! do your worst!!"

or when bakugo's been giving him a hard time

"don't be shy! kick his ass!!"

you know that he's capable

and he does too

but he just needs to hear it from you

you help him in that sense

and it's a bonus for him

bc he loves hearing you say it

it always gets a good laugh out of him

katsuki bakugo !

him to you - "...wait a damn minute."

let's admit it

ur a dumb bitch

just accept it

when his favorite nickname for you is dumbass 💕🥰🥵💍🧸🥴

but no actually, sometimes it's obvious that you aren't thinking

and you end up saying some really stupid things

so whenever you're talking too fast or just say something that he can't process

bakugo will just stare at you for a minute

and then mindlessly wave his hand around and say

"wait a damn minute"

and yes, he tries to say it with a ghetto accent and everything

but let's face it my boy would not be able to muster such a voice

so yeah

u may a dumb bitch

but ur his dumb bitch

and he loves having to care for you

he likes your vulnerability around him

so it's a win win :)

you to him - "yuhhh get into it!"

literally anytime he does a n y t h i n g

everytime he uses his quirk

"yuhhh get intooo ittt!!!"

he's ranting about midoriya and how he just wants to hurt him

"yuhhh get intooo ittt!!!"

tbh you probably said it during sex LMFAOOO

it gets to the point where you say it to everyone you know out of habit

it's like

your number one personality trait

it's kinda annoying after a while ngl

you and kiri and kami would make him just fucking combust from irritation

but you know

gang gang

bakugo kinda rages in silence bc he doesn't wanna hurt u

softie

but after a while, he says it with you and to you as well

it's a mutual catchphrase

when people see you two together, they just imagine "YUHHH GET INTO IT"

kinda funny lol

[markosmate]

american money

pairing; marko x reader

summary; even on the baddest days, there’s always the promise of running off into the night with him.

warnings; none

au; hiiii!! thank you so much for the support on my first few works. i’m working on a dwayne fic and the second part to baby blues now so look forward to those two coming at y’all soon! as always, requests are open so feel free to send in as many as you want - anon or not :)) thanks again <33

School had been awfully stressful lately. You didn’t have many friends to begin with and the ones you did have slowly began to distance themselves after you became close with the boys over the summer. Not many people wanted to be involved with them, which meant not being involved with people who started dating one of them.

It didn’t even take a week before you and Marko were all over each other. The first night you met had ended in a kiss, and a few days later you both had agreed to make it official. Weeks passed before you found out what they really were, the four of them agreeing that you should know that much before you and the curly blond took your relationship any farther.

You had taken it rather lightly, having guessed that something was up after they only came out at night and seemed to walk around with a dangerous aura surrounding all four of them.

So, months later when school started, mostly everyone already knew you were involved with the infamous boardwalk punks. This resulted in most of your friends steering completely clear of you. The ones who didn't, slowly distanced after you barely had time to spend with them anymore.

You couldn’t figure out why they expected you to continue hanging out with them, anyway. All plans that were made were filled to the brim with them throwing degrading words about your boyfriend and his friends at you. You found your nights were much more enjoyable when you spent them with your boys instead of old friends who always viewed themselves as better than you.

When Marko first told you about what they were, he had asked if you would be willing to change to spend eternity with him. You agreed, under the condition that you could finish your last year of high school first. You couldn’t for the life of you figure out why you made that decision now, school was absolute hell.

With all classes and lunches spent alone, you were more lonely than ever all day everyday. And as you laid on your bed staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom, you made the decision right then and there. Why wait nine more months to change when you could just do so that same night and never deal with the hell that is your school and home again? Your parents were constantly away for work, so you couldn’t even guess how long it would take them to figure out that you were gone.

You sat up, moving to grab a bag and pack it full of a few things you’d like to have at the cave with you. David had already informed you about what would happen once you changed. He wanted you to move into the cave with all of them. He informed that you and Marko could decide among yourselves whether you both wanted to clean out one of the rooms and sleep in there together or just sleep from the ceiling with the other three.

You knew in the end if you truly needed anything else besides the bare minimum of necessities, you could just buy it yourself or have one of the boys steal it for you. So you packed only what you absolutely needed before throwing it over your shoulder and hopping down the stairs to the ground floor of your house. The sun had set a good twenty minutes ago, meaning they should be arriving to pick you up any minute now.

Only a few short minutes passed before you heard the familiar roar of engines revving up outside your house. Your lips pulled harshly into a wide grin as you jumped off your couch and opened your front door. There they were, parked in your driveway. Star grinned upon locking eyes with you and she waved you over. "Hey babe! Need a lift?" She joked as everyone else turned to look at you with a chorus of greetings.

"Hey y'all." You laughed making your way over to Marko's bike. You gestured to the bag hanging off your shoulder with a small unsure smile. "Mind if I join the gang a few months early?"

Immediately a huge grin lit up your boyfriend's face. "Are you serious babe?" He laughed out breathlessly.

"Hell yeah!" Paul shouted in victory, leaning over to fist bump Dwayne. "Let the good times roll girl!"

"Of course you’re welcome early. You’re family too." David mumbled quickly, almost like he was trying to say it without actually saying it. You grinned at all of them before strapping your bag to the back of your boy's bike with his help, and then climbing on behind him.

"Hold on tight, baby. This ride's your first ride as a free soul. No more worries, no more responsibilities." Marko whispered back to you before revving his engine as the rest of the boys followed. "Just us, forevermore."

"Did you get that from a song?" You giggled, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist to hold on, knowing how fast him and Paul like to go. The first time they decided to race with you on the back of his bike, you’d almost puked. But you were far more used to the speed and vulnerability that came along with a motorcycle - though Marko was almost always a tad bit more careful when driving with you - after all, you weren’t immortal like the rest of them. A crash that would result in a few cuts and scrapes for them, could possibly mean death for you.

He grinned back at you, welcoming the kiss you pressed to his cheek. "How'd you know?" He joked before turning to watch the road as he pulled the gas and followed after the others.

The wind pushed your hair in all different directions as you laughed happily. You never felt more alive then when you were soaring through the streets of santa carla with your friends, and soon your family. Although you were nervous - what were your parents going to think? would it hurt? how many people would care that you were gone? - you knew deep down that you were always going to be happy as long as you were where Marko was. After everything you've ever been through, every doubt, every worry, he was what you had been waiting for. He was what you had been longing for since you were old enough to dream about future loves you were going to indulge yourself in.

You would learn later on that the pull you had always felt was a mating bond, something that would only get stronger between the two of you once you were a full vampire, but you couldn’t be bothered to focus on anything other than the freedom you felt in that moment.

It ended all too soon as you all arrived at the cave, and within moments the boys cut their engines and were climbing off their vehicles. You threw your leg behind you to climb off, using Marko's shoulders to balance yourself as he pocketed the keys.

"I’ll never get over how amazing it is to ride at night." He grinned at you as he stood off his motorcycle and began walking it over to their hiding spot after you had unstrapped your bag from the back.

"Neither will I. It’s amazing." You smiled happily as you followed after him. Once the bikes were all hidden from view, he reached over to interlock his fingers with your own.

"Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we have eternity to do it over and over again huh?" You laughed at his words.

"I guess so." You pressed a kiss to his lips, but you were both interrupted before he could even try to deepen it.

"Come on lovebirds! We got vampire to turn!" Paul practically screamed up the staircase causing a bunch of birds to flock away upon hearing the sudden noise.

Marko rolled his eyes as he pulled you along with him down the stairs. "Yeah, that will get old fast."

You threw your head back in a laugh, moving to hold his forearm with your other hand - holding yourself impossibly close to his body. "We'll live. Or - I guess we won’t." You joked with a mischievous giggle.

"What was that? A vampire joke?" He raised an eyebrow at you in disbelief.

"Maybe it was." You squeezed his hand in retaliation. "And there’s a lot more where that came from."

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys imagine #the lost boys headcan #the lost boys poly #the lost boys david #the lost boys marko #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys paul #paul x reader #marko x reader #david x reader #dwayne x reader #billy wirth #alex winter #kiefer sutherland #brooke mccarter #paul the lost boys #david the lost boys #marko the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #star the lost boys #the lost boys x reader

[barsformars]

PIRATE AU! ATEEZ

+ ot8 confessing to y/n!

setting :

wanting to escape from an arranged marriage your parents had planned for you, you sneaked onto a random ship only to run into (member of your choice; the short blurbs will be based on the fact that they were the one who found you first). you pleaded for him to let you stay and he found it hard to refuse, and therefore introducing you to the rest of the crew as the newest recruit.

a/n : anon! i know you requested y/n falling in love with them but i hope you don’t mind this tweak! also it’s a long post ahead, take your time and enjoy it!

seonghwa

quartermaster of the crew

very strict on discipline because he likes everything to be orderly

he’s no jam, wants everything to go as planned, no last minute schedule changes or he will get really annoyed

which means no chill time for the whole crew until they finish their daily tasks

the whole crew has a love-hate relationship with him because damn…. he’s really so boring but he does his job so well

purposely makes you his ‘secretary’ even tho pirates don’t do that shit just because he wants you beside him as much as possible

“I didn’t let you on board just for you to leech off our food supplies.”

You raised your head from your dinner plate to see someone standing right in front of the table, and though his face was covered due to the large fedora hat he was donning, you already knew who it was — the quartermaster, Park Seonghwa.

“You can’t even let me eat in peace, huh?” You rolled your eyes, already starting to clear the table because you knew how impatient this man was. Sure, it was past dinner time for the crew but he was the reason why you could only have your meal a mere ten minutes ago, having made you clean his cabin once more.

However, right when you were about to stand up, Seonghwa pushed you back down onto the wooden bench by your shoulders with two fingers, causing you to look up at his dark eyes in surprise. You opened your mouth to argue but stopped when he leaned down, both palms resting on the table top for support.

“You’re so dense.” Seonghwa sighed as he ran his hand through his blonde hair after taking off his hat. “Don’t you know that I hate having people follow me around?”

“Okay…” You furrowed your eyebrows, confused as to why he was being mean to you again when he was the one who forced you to be his assistant or whatever. “So, did you just fire me? Because, thank y-”

Seonghwa groans and grabs your jaw to snap your head up to look at him, but when you yelp out in pain, you notice the grip on you soften along with his expression.

“I like you, y/n.”

hongjoong

captain

very respected, as expected

pretty chill when the crew is present because “all work and no play makes joong a dull boy and i don’t wanna be boring like hwa”

still gets work done though by secretly pulling all nighters by himself to plan their routes to make up for the time in the day that he spent bonding with the crew

main reason why hwa is so strict about following schedule, hwa is the only one who knows about the late nights and he worries for joong :“(

super caring and always checking up on you to make sure you’re getting used to being on a ship and that you weren’t lonely from being away from your friends and family

“y/n, are you asleep?”

Hearing Hongjoong knocking on your cabin door, you quickly sat up on your bed to fix your messy hair, hoping that you looked presentable enough to even meet anyone. You swung the door open and was greeted by a huge grin, one that was so contagious you couldn’t help but smile too whenever you saw it.

“Ah…y/n. I was just trying my luck, didn’t actually think you were going to be awake at this time,” Hongjoong said sheepishly as he rubbed the nape of his neck before widening his eyes when he reminded himself of how late it was. “Wait, what are you doing not sleeping?”

“I don’t know, just a little homesick, I guess.” You shrugged lightly, the smile on your face slowly fading away as your eyes found its way to the floor. “What about you?”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not here to talk about my problems, I’m here for you, like always and forever.”

You felt strong hands on both sides of your shoulders squeezing you comfortingly and you let the tears that you had been holding in for so long fall.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You asked as you wiped your tears away, head still hung low in embarrassment.

Hongjoong squats down to look up at you as fingers trailed down your arms to take your hands in his, a faint smile present on his face.

“Why else? You’re my whole world.”

yunho

the energiser of the crew sorta

the one who comes up with all the sea shanties and hypes everyone during labour time

ALWAYS using that as an excuse to do a little less work

“it’s hard work to motivate everyone, okay?”

days out in the sea are never boring as long as you have him on board

ever since you joined the crew, he would help you out with your duties instead of slacking at the side using that excuse above, always keeping an eye out for you

You held your breath as you made your way down the narrow wooden plank that served as a bridge between the two ships, hoping that you wouldn’t trip and fall into the deep waters beneath you.

When you were a few steps away from your ship, the crate stacked right at the top leaned towards one side and you gasped , shutting your eyes tightly to prepare yourself for the harsh contact with the water. But it doesn’t come, someone gripping you by the wrist and pulling you back onto deck.

“Oh man, better make sure Seonghwa doesn’t know about that.” Yunho joked as he peered over to look at the crates full of food that was now slowly sinking before turning his attention onto you, who had your hand clasped over your chest. “You alright, y/n?”

You replied with small frantic nods, still a little breathless from the close call earlier on. You were about to go back to the merchant ship that your crew had just raided to move more crates when Yunho tugged at your wrist firmly to keep you where you were.

“Where do you think you���re going?”

“Back to work?”

“No, you’re not doing that.” Yunho dragged you back to your room, past all the other working crew members, ignoring your protests. Yunho joins you on your bed after sitting you down, “y/n, if you had fallen, I would have really hated myself for letting you stay on board.”

“Yunho, accidents happen and it wouldn’t be your fault even if I did fall.” You try to reassure him but he just shook his head and placed a finger over your lips to stop you from talking.

“y/n, I really like being able to see you most of the day but I’d much rather you be in a safer place like helping Wooyoung out in the kitchen…” Yunho says slowly as if he was hesitating whether he should carry on but you tilted your head slightly at him and he takes in a deep breath before blurting out, his cheeks flushed red.

“I really really like you and I don’t want to lose you.”

yeosang

navigator/helmsman

the only one apart from mingi that’s actually properly educated

used to be a sailor but ran away because of how poorly he was treated there despite being one of the most important crew members

due to that, he treats everyone on board with utmost respect even if they were just a cabin boy

was actually voted to be the first mate but turned it down because he’s satisfied with his role

the shyest, softest, most loving boy you could ever ask for. low-key romantic

You stood beside Yeosang as he explained how he could find the way just by looking at the stars alone, timing your nods to look like you were actually paying attention. Honestly, you weren’t interested and it was a concept too complicated for you to comprehend anyways, but you had wanted to spend some time with him seeing as to how he was working alone most of the time.

“Ahah, you weren’t listening, were you?” He snapped his fingers in front of your face when you nodded instead of answering when he had asked you a question, bringing you back from your daze. “If you’re tired, you can go to bed. I can watch where the ship is going alone.”

You shook your head and continued admiring the bright stars in the vast night sky, shifting your feet to stand closer to Yeosang for warmth. Unbeknownst to you, Yeosang stared at you in silence while you were entranced by the view. He can’t help but smile to himself at how breathtaking you looked with all the stars reflected in your eyes.

“y/n,” he called out to you softly, his voice deep yet sweet like dark chocolate, earning a hum from you. “The sky would be pitch black if a star fell everytime you do that.”

“What did I do?” You laughed, playfully smacking his arm away.

“Make me wanna kiss you.”

Yeosang gave you a quick peck on your lips as soon as he said that, completely taking you by surprise.

san

first mate

under hwa and joong to be the next quartermaster/captain because of how capable he is

also very respected by the whole crew for being courageous, caring, skilled and humble

always enthusiastic to learn new things

can be a little stubborn sometimes tho, like he would get into arguments with hwa about which treasure was worth keeping

also not a fan of punishments, thinks it’s better to just reprimand them

as a first mate, i feel like he would be under alot of pressure to work hard and all that and so he wouldn’t openly tell you he likes you just because even if y'all got together, he would be too busy to keep you company and he wants to be responsible for his words uk

San patted your back as your body was slung over the edge of the ship limply, your guts violently throwing everything out after you had a few shots of vodka too much. With one arm slung over your shoulders, San walked you back to your cabin room and tucked you in bed.

It’s not that you were in danger on the ship, but San couldn’t bear to leave you alone in your room, vulnerable to any harm that could come your way. And so, he stands at the edge of your bed with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at your sleeping figure, sighing as he contemplated whether he should take this chance to confess. You probably wouldn’t remember, which was exactly what San wanted because he didn’t think he could go another day keeping the secret to himself.

If you could even remember what San said that night, you would wish you hadn’t gotten so drunk.

“I love you but I hope we stay as we are now, not any closer nor any further.”

mingi

doctor

used to work in town but decided to join the crew because he likes exploring and going on adventures

very friendly

most of the time he’s just roaming around the ship with his medical kit because he hates staying in the infirmary alone

but because of that, it’s also kinda hard to find him when you need him because the ship is pretty big

sometimes he forgets he has people to attend to and just daydreams as he looks out at the sea

he’s always following you around secretly so if you ever fall sick or injure yourself he could come running to your rescue, he thinks that would make you fall for him and he’s not very wrong tbh

“Never.”

You held your hand up when Mingi pulled out ginger, cut into thin strips wrapped in paper, from his briefcase to help you with your sea sickness.

“It works wonders, trust me. It might taste bad but it’s better than feeling like shit for the whole voyage.” Mingi advises as he picks a strip up and dangled it in front of your face, motioning for you to open your mouth and chew on it.

Reluctantly, you do as you were told but kept only a small portion of it in your mouth as you nibbled experimentally. Even then, the taste was so sharp and strong that it made your whole face cringe up which ended with you sending a death glare at Mingi for laughing at your facial expressions.

“Have you ever tried this?” You asked through the gaps of your teeth, the ginger strip still hanging from your mouth.

“Well, I don’t have sea sickness so, no-” Mingi drops his medical kit onto the floor and bends down to meet you at eye level-“but I wanna try?”

Mingi takes the other end of the ginger in his mouth and bites on it, his lips fastly approaching yours and you try to back away in shock but he holds you in place by grabbing the back of your neck. You squeezed your eyes shut when he tilts his head so that his high straight nose wouldn’t crash into yours and you expect a softness on your lips but Mingi stops just an inch away.

Smirking, he bites down on the ginger and pulls it out of your mouth with his teeth by taking a step back.

“You’re unbelievably cute, y/n.”

wooyoung

cook

but since it’s not really cooking and just preparing the food since they rarely got any meat, he has a lot of free time on his hands

so he just goes fishing alone at the back of the boat while reflecting upon life

definitely not his dream life coz boy is wild and this is too peaceful for him

but when night falls and yall are drinking away, boy oh boy

also will peer out of the kitchen window whenever yall were carrying out raids

has an exclusive stash of the best ingredients just for you and he doesn’t even try to hide that fact, always serving you the best right in front of everyone’s salad, quite literally

“Woo, you need to stop doing that!” You whisper-shouted at the boy, having noticed the dirty looks the other crew members sent your way as he scooped a ladle full of chicken soup into a bowl, which no one else had, and hands it over to you with a bright smile. 

“No need to worry about what people think, darling.” Wooyoung winked as he waved his hand dismissively before turning to the crew member behind you and scoffing,”I’m the cook, I cook whatever I want for whoever I want.”

The others move along the line with a loud sigh to show their displeasure after receiving their same old miserable lump of pickled vegetables, beans and sea biscuits but you stood in your place, feeling too bad to take the bowl of hearty warm soup. The crew had been sailing for months already and any meat is precious, but here Wooyoung was, saving it for you and only you. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Woo, everyone else is working harder than me…you should give them some too.” 

Wooyoung stops handing out the food to look at you, pointing the tongs at you as he playfully chided you for discrediting your own efforts and hardwork ever since you boarded the ship. “If I say you worked hard, you worked hard.”

“Especially with how you’re running around in my head all day long.” Wooyoung mumbled under his breath before going on with his work, shooing you away to the tables.

jongho

master gunner

used to be part of the navy but got captured and brought on board

doesn’t actually hate his situation as much as he first did because he loves how democratic the pirate society is

no more bossy superiors who constantly abused their powers

the youngest member of the gunner team but the most experienced so

quick-witted and mature, joong really treasures him and trusts him to make his own decisions when they’re in the midst of trying to disable another ship to raid

is still a baby but because of his job, he’s always trying to appear tough, but that’s not the case at all when he’s with you.

You narrowed your eyes as you climbed up to the crow’s nest where you noticed Jongho standing and looking out into the distance, the winds strong and the sun blinding. It has been a rather peaceful day with no sight of any other ships that could potentially be a target of your crew and you guessed that Jongho had nothing else to do.

“Punishing yourself?” You joked, already feeling a little sick with how much the rotational movement of the ship was amplified up here, and Jongho whipped his head around.

“Very funny, y/n.” Jongho replied dryly as he extended a hand to help you up the last step. “I just like how light-headed I get up here. It’s like drinking but without the bitterness and the long-lasting effect of a beer belly, you know.”

You shook your head lightly and smiled to yourself. Jongho never fails to amaze you with the way he thinks, always throwing you back everytime you thought you finally understood him.

“Well, do you need a shoulder to lean on? Because you better grab it quick, I’m heading down in a few minutes before I throw up on everyone down there.” You said, patting your shoulders. Jongho nodded softly and immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggling his face into your neck, taking in your scent, causing you to chuckle. “I said shoulders, Jongho.”

Jongho doesn’t budge from his comfortable position and you feel him breathe out on you. You didn’t need to see it for you to know that he had broken into the gummy smile that you loved so much and so you just let him stay there, your arms hugging him back.

“This is why you’re my favourite, like ever.” Jongho said softly as he closes his eyes and leans deeper into you.

#ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez writing #ateez #ateez ot8 #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #San #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #requested

[dragonleesupporter]

Two Person Hoodie

 AN: I’m sorry this took so long to make. But it’s finally here now! Hope y'all enjoy! A continuation of this series:   Checking It Twice,  The Loudest Firework.

Warnings: Tickling, cursing, and Remus.

             Logan heard the door open to what was now their shared room.

               “Ah, Remus.” He grinned, putting his book down.

             “Surprise motherfucker!” Came a cheer as the duke danced his way in front of him, goofy smile on his face.

               “How was the tournament?” His smile widened at Remus’s excited eyes, firecrackers exploding inside them.

               “First prize, motherfucker!” He banged a fist into his chest like a gong announcing his victory.

               “Did you miss me?” Logan’s calm voice edged on teasing as his own smile matched the duke’s.

               “Heart eyes, motherfucker!” Remus’s eyes suddenly sprouted bleeding, pulsing hearts before they disappeared.

               Logan chuckled, happy Remus was in a good mood. “Also, did you finally get the sweater I ordered for you?”

               “Wrong size, motherfucker.” He did a backflip.

               “You have got to get off Tick Tock.” Logan sighed, shaking his head fondly.

               “No, seriously. The thing can fit two people in it!” Remus cackled as he took it out.

               “Oh, then it’s the right size.” Logan said, completely serious.

               “Huh?” Logan suddenly took the sweater from the green side and draped it over him.

               “The hell are you doing, you catholic priest? Quit dressing me!” He giggled playfully, wiggling into it regardless.

               “Shush.” Logan hissed.

               A big dark green sweater Logan had ordered for Remus with a giant orange gummy bear on it had arrived that day. Logan’s special sweater wasn’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow for a special occasion they had planned. The sleeves of the sweater were fine, it was just the collar and body of the coat that had so much slack, it had to be the wrong size.

               Logan smirked suddenly, and wiggled into it, leaning forward and causing Remus to fall backwards onto the bed with a yelp. He couldn’t move. Logan’s head popped out of the collar, staring at him fondly.

               “Uh, what are you doing, nerdy wolverine?” Remus couldn’t help but ask, a little flustered as the warmth sprouted around him. Logan knew he loved it.

               The duke shivered at the feeling of Logan’s arms wrapping around him under the sweatshirt. It felt like little flutters of heat slowly getting more intense until they reached ultimate warmth. Logan knew the duke didn’t make much sense, but he knew that a hug was the melting point for a solid solution of Remus.

               Remus whimpered and whined, moaning as Logan massaged his back. He was surrounded by softness and warmth, and after a while could feel the teacher kissing his face slowly. His eyes rolled up. A two-person sweater for the best cuddling. Oh… this was nice.

               It was nice, until Logan started to slip away.

               “NO.” He held him tightly. “DON’T YOU DARE.”

               “Remus, I must get to work on organizing the next video. We’ll cuddle more afterwards.”

               “No!” He whined desperately.

               Logan sighed. This was always the hard part of cuddling with Remus. Since they officially became boyfriends, the teacher had begun to learn how to deal with Remus’s intrusiveness, but at the same time, Remus grew to learn respect… for Logan at least. But Logan kept seeming to forget… that Remus was also unpredictable, and vulnerable. Sometimes the duke’s intrusive thoughts would hurt him because of how much he loved Logan. A poor, twisted creature using his own negativity against himself. It had become a bad habit since he had grown slightly less selfish.

               “Remus, please let me go.”

               “No! What if you don’t come back?” Tears roll down his cheeks. “What you fuck my brother or someone r*pes you?”

               Uh oh. It was bad this time.

               “Remus, that’s highly unrealistic for what and where we are. I’m just going to do my part in making the next video.”

               Suddenly, Logan felt something slimy on his back. “Um… Remus? What is that?”

               Suddenly, the duke let him go- in fact he SHOVED him out of the coat. The dark blue side looked up and saw the sweater was puffed out and full of movement that suddenly disappeared. Remus looked panicked.

               Logan knew he had work to do, and didn’t mind leaving Remus when he was whiny or pouty, but not when he was like this.

               “What was that?”

               “Nothing!”

               “Don’t lie to me, Remus.” Logan warned in a low voice.

               Remus cowered in his sweater, which was odd since he rarely ever hid from Logan, or anyone for that matter, except Janus.

               “Remus, please. You can show me. Whatever it is, you of all people should know I wouldn’t judge.”

               The duke looked up shyly and one by one, ten slimly tentacles slid out from the edges of the sweater. Logan knew they existed, but he had never seen them before. He wasn’t worried about his schedule anymore… he NEEDED to examine these things.

               He took one into his hand, the pores were generating clear slime on top of green silky skin. He started feeling each suction cup on the bottoms of the moist appendages, gliding his nails along the top through the gooey outer skin. The tentacle started to wiggle and shake as if reacting to the attention. He could tell these things hadn’t had physical touch, and were learning how to respond to it. It kept leaping out of his grasp, yet it kept returning.

 “Very interesting…” Logan’s whole eye was nearly pupil with how wide they were, pocking and prodding, skimming and tracing… he was only awoken from his curious trance by a giggle and snort. Followed by more giggles and a few squeaks.

 His head whipped around to see Remus, red in the face with a hand pressed to his mouth, cheeks filled with air and his eyes squeezed shut.

 Oh. Logan smiled. He believed he had found a way to help Remus with his panicking. He traced a single finger along the top of one of the tentacles, making it dip as it tried to get away. As Remus struggled to keep holding his breath, he wiggled his fingers at the very tips, making them shake uncontrollably.

 A kettle whistle could be heard behind him as the teacher scribbled at the underside, his poor boyfriend a ticking timebomb. Now Logan had three of them trapped in a headlock, scribbling at the suction-cupped sides.

 He couldn’t hold it anymore. The dam finally broke.

“BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! LOHOHOHOHIEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!” He cackled and hiccupped, squirming and thrashing chaotically. “THAHAHAHAHAT TIHIHIHIHCKLES!”

 “Really? I didn’t notice.” Logan chuckled as he worked his way up the three tentacles in his grasp, Remus’s laughter getting more frantic the closer he got to their bases.

 Scribbling, poking, tracing, squeezing, it was driving him mad- well more mad than usual.

 “PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!” He screamed, his whole body wriggling like a fish out of water.

 “Awwww, who’s a cute little ticklish duke?” Logan did not use his teasy voice often, but that tone mixed with the maddening feeling getting closer to his back made Remus turn redder than his brother’s room.

 “NOT CUTE! NOT CUTE! STOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” When Logan reached his back, where the tentacles were coming from, Remus absolutely screamed at the top his lungs, face steaming with tears flowing down it, his chest spasmed as his laughter grew silent.

 Logan let him go, and Remus fell to the bed, completely knocked out.

 “I’ll be back soon.” He smooched his cheek, as Remus panted, unconscious.

 Remus woke up a few hours later, still being alone in the room. As he recalled what happened, his face flushed, but the loud voices of his mind also started chanting a new word at him.

 “Revenge.”

 ***

Logan sighed as he entered their room again. He liked working and getting things done, but it was tiresome when the others bickered and made things harder. He looked around the room to see Remus wasn’t there, his annoyed tired state was quickly thrown to the side as he grew worried of where his boyfriend could have gone. Maybe he shouldn’t have left his alone when he fell asleep. There were bad places he knew Remus might go to if he got to be too much for himself. He turned around to exist the room and look for the duke just to realize it was shut and locked from the outside.

His panic subsided a little as it was replaced with confusion.

 “Looogie…”

 Uh-oh.

 He turned to run, but there was nowhere to go. A huge weight landed on top of him as he squeezed his eyes shut, prepared for the worst. Except… he was surrounded by Remus’s sweater, and was currently being cuddled by the overgrown green teddy bear of a boyfriend.

 This was odd, since Remus didn’t usually like to lead when it came to cuddles, but Logan had to admit, it felt nice to just sit there receive it. Remus smiled at him with wide puppydog eyes, holding back his evil smirk for the right moment.

 As soon as his guard was down, Logan felt the slimy tentacles wriggle under his shirt. He suppressed a squeak as they started poking and prodding his sides, getting some of the slime on him. He looked up at Remus to see a truly evil expression.

 He immediately knew what this was. Revenge.

 “R-Remus… L-let’s talk about this!”

 He only shook his head, covering Logan’s body with his slime. The teacher paled as he realized this was going to tickle even more now because of the slick substance on his skin. And the worst part… he was stuck in the sweater with Remus. With his tentacles present, both of them couldn’t move.

 “P-please! I-I-! N-no! Pffffftttt… hggggnnn…” He struggled to hold his breath as the green appendaged started wiggling and digging into his ribs.

 “Oh no.~ Is my wittle boyfwien ticklish?” Oh GOD, that voice he was using only made it harder to not laugh. He felt he was going to explode!

 “A cootchie cootchie coo! Tickle tickle tickle! Oh, you’re barely holding it together, huh?” Remus could now see why Logan had teased him and tickled him to bits, this was fun!

 His tentacles tickled everywhere, but Logan somehow held out, only letting out a few gasps until he found his feet.

 “GAH! NONONONO NOT THERE! NOOOOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Remus had no mercy in him, as his tentacles ruthlessly attacked his slicked-down feet, wiggling, poking, pinching, scratching, and- were those kisses?!

 Yes, Remus’s suction cups could kiss, but they could do one other thing.

  All the other sides could hear Logan scream at the top of his lungs as he could feel the things giving tiny RAPBERRIES INBETWEEN HIS TOES.

 “STAHAHAHAHAHAP! PLEASE! I CAHAHAHAHAN’T! I CAHAHAN’T TAHAHAHAKE IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIT! REHEHEHEMEHEHEIIIIIIEEE!!!” Tears were absolutely pouring down his face, smile stretched to the point of pain, and his whole body felt like it was on fire as his senses were overloaded with the maddening feeling. He couldn’t think of anything else. Just laughter. Just tickling.

 When the others came to their room, worried expressions on their faces, all they found was Logan, tickled stupid, with Remus cuddling him and kissing slowly at his face, murmuring to him a deep yet sweet tone.

 Remus promptly shut the door in their faces and continued to massage and kiss at Logan, the teacher in heaven from the gentle touches, the dopamine rush and Remus’s calming voice smoothly lulling him to sleep.

  @smileheart110

@cefsticklestoo

@cefinitely-rolo

@did-he-just-hiss-at-me

@bexxbeauty

@ollyollyoxinfree

@cooliofooliosanders

@thestarswelcomemewithopenarms

@fluffymary

#intrulogical #lee/ler!remus #lee/ler!logan #tickling #series

[smileyseungmin]

Galaxies || Han Jisung

part one

WC: 3.4k

warnings: descriptions of sexual assault,, please be safe y'all,, language,, mentions of blood,, but not to much

a/n: oof i really haven't posted anything in a while sorry about that. I have some stuff written out that should hopefully go up soon. Also I didn't actually mean to write a second part to this but here it is anyways, so enjoy!

You loved the stars, space, the great vast unknown beyond the atmosphere. There was no doubt about it. Your old bedroom was painted black with hues of pink, blue, purple and mixed in with yellows, oranges, and white to complete the starry look. You missed it, and as much as you wanted to recreate the mural of your childhood, there were policies that prevented you from doing so. It was a shame really, but these policies never said anything about putting glow in the dark, star shaped stickers all along the barren, off white walls of your room. So Jisung took advantage of that and filled you ceiling with the small stars that you absolutely adored. While you were visiting your parents, he meticulously placed each and every star to represent the ones in the sky. Let's just say you cried once you got back.

Now though, those little stars that once made your heart swell with joy, just squeezed your heart of happiness until it was empty and emotionless. It reminded you of him and all the good times that you had with each other. It hurt knowing that those times were basically over. There would be times were you couldn't even sleep in your own bedroom because it was just too painful. 

Today was one of those nights.

You were sitting on your couch, staring blankly at the wall. You knew you should be doing something productive, but you just couldn't bring yourself up to do anything. You knew that sitting around, waiting for something to change wasn't your best option, but there you were, wishing that Jisung was still with you. You missed his warm embrace, the gentle words he would whisper in your ears before falling asleep. As much as you wanted that back, you knew that he won't come back. Now all you feel is the cold shoulder while he walked away from you and to hear the words full of malice that cut deeper than any knife.

You've tried to call him, text him, tell him that your sorry for whatever you did to upset him, but to no avail. He ignored call after call, text after text. Eventually you gave up too. You sent him one last text before blocking his number.

I'm sorry for whatever I did. Maybe you will find someone who fulfills your standards, since I clearly didn't. Goodbye.

You cried yourself to sleep that night.

~

Weeks passed as things haven’t improved at all. There was still that empty place in your heart that yearned for a certain person that still avoided you like the plague. As much as it hurts, you learned to ignore it as best as you could. You still worked in the same building as him. Working as a choreographer required you to be in the company building more often than not, and with Jisung always being in the building, either for dance practice or producing, the not so subtle glares in your direction as you walked by happened a lot more than you liked. 

You also started to notice the other members ignoring you and dodging you whenever they could. You didn't know why they were doing it and it hurt. All you wanted to do was know why, but they never gave you an opportunity to even ask. 

Soon enough, this sadness turned into frustration, which naturally turned into overworking yourself. It was easy to do. Work until you were too tired to think, too tired to feel anything. Sure it wasn't the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but it worked and frankly you didn't know what else to do. This is why you were currently on the practice room floor, panting, trying to catch your breath. Despite your body screaming at you to stop and get some rest, eat some food, get some sleep, you just refused to stop. You had to continue and finish this choreography. It had to be completed within the next week and you were falling behind on perfecting it. It had to be done. So, with shaky legs, you stood up, took a quick swig of water, walked over to your phone, and started up the song once again.

With each run through, you felt yourself getting better. Each move you paired with the beat of the song became more fluid, more together. It was almost there. Almost. 

With satisfaction over taking disappointment, you finally sat down, allowing your body to rest. You didn't know what time it was, but you could probably guess it was around one in the morning. This would be your third time in a row staying really late and you knew that it wasn't healthy, but you just couldn't seem to bring yourself to care, which was a bit concerning. You just didn't really see a reason to care about your health, it's not like anybody actually cared about you. Not even you cared about yourself. It was just so much easier to throw yourself into work and forget everything.

You groaned at yourself after feeling the hot tears fall down your cheeks. You were done with crying. You told yourself that you wouldn't cry anymore over this, yet here you are, sitting on the dirty floor, by yourself, feeling sorry for yourself once again.

You just let yourself sit there and just cry. You knew that it would be better to let it all out than to hold it all inside. It wasn't full on sobbing, just silent tears that formed small paths down your cheeks. Small hiccups escaped your lips every now and then, but it was mostly silent.

Apparently though, you weren't quiet enough because someone slowly opened the door, poking their head in the see what was happening.

"Hello?" You turned to look. It was Chan. You quickly turned your head away before you could make eye contact and buried your face into your hands. 

"Y/N?" You heard hesitant footsteps come closer. You didn't want him to come any closer. You didn't want him to see how weak and vulnerable you really were. You didn't want any of this. You just wanted to go home.

Chan didn't say anything. He didn't really do anything either. He just sat right next to you, letting his presence calm you down a bit.

You were grateful for it. Having someone next to you while you were crying your eyes out was definitely better than doing it alone. It hurt just a little less. Yet, even after after your tears dried up and your breathing becomes regular again, that same empty feeling in your heart still stayed.

"Sorry for worrying you. I'm just going to go now," you quietly mumbled before you got up and grabbed all your things, not even looking back. Fear kept going from looking back. Fear that Chan would lash out on you the same way Jisung did. You knew for a fact that you wouldn't be able to take it if that happened again. So you just kept on walking.

And walking.

And walking.

Walking into the chilly city night with no protection against the nipping breeze that raised goosebumps on your skin. This was definitely not one of your best decisions that you have made, considering how you had absolutely no protection against the cold and you were most definitely walking in a dangerous part of the city, by yourself nonetheless.

Fear crawled all along your skin, constantly looking every which way for any signs of life.

Maybe you were too cautious, causing you to miss the smallest details. Or maybe this stranger was just way too sneaky for his own good because he just appeared at your side out without any warning.

"Hey, you know it isn't safe for people to be walking alone at night, especially here," the stranger slightly scolded you, concern on his face. That concern was quickly replaced by guilt when you jumped, a small yelp escaping your lips.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” You softly chuckled, hand still over your racing heart.

“No worries, its all good. You just startled me, that’s all.” 

“That’s good, but seriously... its not safe being out here all alone, especially this late at night.”

"Yeah well I never said I was smart. And besides, you were alone as well so you can’t really say anything." You grumbled, progressively feeling less scared, the presence of another person by your side calming your nerves.

"Well, you got me there. Caught red handed." You chuckled. Despite being a total stranger, he was kind of pleasant to be around.

"You look extremely tired, no offense. Long day, if you don’t mind me asking?” You groaned, thinking about the long, exhausting week. The stranger just stared at you, shocked and confused at your reaction. “That bad, huh?”

"Longer than can imagine.”

"Damn... well, I bet are just longing to get home. I know a quicker way to get there if you want to follow me.” You agreed.

Maybe it was want to be around another person that caused you to say yes. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that made you not question why he knew where your house was. Whatever it was, it caused you to agree and to be dragged into an ally by some random stranger.

The first minute or so was fine, his grip was the only uncomfortable thing about the situation. It wasn't until he stopped so abruptly and pushed you against the brick wall when you started feeling scared.

"What?" With your sleep deprived state, you weren't fast enough to stop him from pinning you against the wall, his grip on your wrists becoming impossibly tighter.

"As soon as I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were going to be easy, but I didn't know it would be that easy," he chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his face. Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall. You didn't understand. What was happening? Wasn't he just trying to help you? What happened? You just wanted to get away. 

You tried to push this stranger away, fear finally settling into your bones. You were scared of what he would do.

You snapped your head forward, your forehead connecting with his jaw, earning a grunt from him. This only seemed to anger him because he let go of one of your wrists and back handed you across the cheek, your face painfully whipped to the side. 

"Don't try anything funny or it won't end well for you," he growled, his face leaning even closer. You whimpered, tears finally fell from your eyes, small streams running down your cheeks. He slowly reached down and forced his lips onto yours.

You wanted to turn your head away. Push him away and run home. Curl up in your bed and cry yourself to sleep. Instead, you were pinned up against a grimy, dirty wall, hands exploring every part of body, lips on your face and neck, tears falling down your face. 

Your breath quickened. Panic was settling in. You couldn't breathe. Everything was blurring together. You still couldn't breathe. You felt a different pair of hands on you and you freaked out even more. Somewhere beneath your labored breathing you heard a soothing voice try to calm you but you were too out of it, too tired, and still could not breathe. 

Slowly, the fight in you drained away and your eyes fluttered closed, still hearing that soothing voice as you slipped unconscious.

~

Jisung took a look at the time and sighed. It was almost one thirty in the morning and Chan still wasn't home. He sighed and rolled out of bed. Jisung figured he would go get Chan before he passed out trying to get back to the dorms. He slipped his shoes and jacket on before walking out into the cold night.

Jisung liked nights like these. A nice cool breeze, the moon shining brightly against the dark sky. It was perfect. Almost perfect anyway. It was missing one thing. You. 

He missed you. He couldn't deny it. He really did. At times he would regret yelling at you and cutting you out of his life, but he was hurt. After someone telling him about all the things you said about him, all the things you did, he just couldn't help and be so angry. He felt so betrayed. So hurt. He didn't understand why you would do such a thing. 

He shook his head and sighed. He couldn't be having these thoughts right now. He needed to bring Chan home and make sure he doesn't overwork himself. He continued on his way to his destination when he something coming from the ally to his left. 

He was going to ignore it. Just walk away. He had other, more important, things to do. That was until he heard the smallest hint of a scared whimper. A whimper that caused his feet to move forward, slowly going deeper into the darkened ally. The closer he walked forward, the more he could hear, now listening to small pleas and heavy breathing. 

"Hello? Who's there?" He called out. He continued forward until he saw it. At first he was surprised. Seeing some guy pinning you up against the wall, hands all over you, it filled his head with so many questions. He wanted to scoff, walk away. Let his anger get the best of him at the sight of you with another man. Yet all anger toward you vanished when he actually saw you. The tears streaming down your face, your trembling figure. The fear that shone so brightly in your eyes.

Anger boiled over and he saw red.

An animalistic growl left his lips as he surged forward, ripping the man right off you. He slammed his fist into his nose, internally cringing at the sickening crunch of the nose breaking under his knuckles. Yet that didn't stop him. Jisung kept on swinging. Wailing his fists into this guy's face until there was blood everywhere. He only stopped when he heard your ragged breath and small whimpers. He released the guy and immediately sprung over to you, not caring about the man who shakily got up and staggered away. His heart broke into pieces when he tried to reach for you, but you flinched away. He knew that you still were panicking, but it still broke his heart. Jisung tried to talk to you, sooth you his arms, but you were just too out of it. He barely had time to catch you when your eyes rolled to the back of your head, falling unconscious. 

"Shit." He picked you up bridal style, brushing your hair out of your closed eyes. "It's okay. I got you." Jisung blinked away the tears that formed at the corner of his eyes and held you close. 

"No one will ever hurt you again."

~

"Okay, thanks. Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." Jisung hung up the phone. He sighed and put his phone down. He called Chan to make sure he got home safe and so nobody freaked out when Jisung wasn’t at the dorms in the morning. He sat down on the floor, seeing how he laid you on the couch, and stared at the ceiling. Nothing really changed since the last time he was at your place, except for one thing. That one picture of you and him that you always had sitting on the side table was faced down, so the picture wasn’t showing. That hurt Jisung, but he didn’t dwell on it for too long. He had other things to focus on. 

Jisung was busy in the kitchen, making some tea for the both of you when you finally woke up. You were confused. You didn’t know how you got into your apartment in the first place.The last thing you remembered was that stranger... Tears pricked your eyes at the thought of it, but you blinked them away. You were even more confused when you heard movement in your kitchen. After slowly, and shakily, getting up, you groggily shuffled into the kitchen, eyes going wide when you saw Jisung. He looked over his shoulder upon hearing you enter the room, but didn’t say anything. He only stared at you for a second before turning back around. You looked down at the floor in shame before carefully walking to the small table on the opposite side of the room, taking a seat on of one the old chairs that came with the apartment. You flinched when Jisung placed a mug of steaming hot tea in front of you. He just sat in front of you but didn’t say anything. 

It was quiet for a few minutes, the two of you hesitant to start any conversation.

“What were you thinking?” he asked with a bit too much malice laced in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” You really didn’t know what to say. You were still shaken up by the events that happened early that night and you were so tired from the lack of sleep.

“I’m sorry. Is that really all you got?" he fumed, letting his anger get the best of him.

"I was just so tired... I wasn't thinking straight," you murmured, trying to justify yourself for something that wasn't even your fault to begin with.

"Your tired. Is that really all you got? Well in case you didn't know, I'm fucking tired to, but you don't see me whoring around, desperate for attention." You froze. You studied Jisung's face for any sign of remorse for the words he just spit at you. His face remained the same and you let your anger, your frustrations, finally boil over.

"Whoring around?" You pushed away the long abandoned tea that was no longer hot. "Is that what you think I was doing? Throwing myself at every guy I see because I'm some desperate bitch? Well in case you didn't know, I wasn't trying to hook up with anyone. I was trying to get home after a long, tiring day when that guy tried to take advantage of me." You weren't yelling, but you were sure close to it. You hated yelling, yet Jisung's words cut deep, hurting you and making you angry. Jisung was aware of this too, his face of anger changing into guilt as soon as your voice started raising, shaking slightly as you tried your hardest to jot break down. You stood up from the table, tears gathering in your eyes yet again.

"I- I thought you knew me. I thought we would always be there for each other, no matter what happens, but I guess not." You voice was reduced to barely a whisper. You weren't sure if Jisung could even hear you. "I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you, to make you mad at me. Just know this though. I have always kept my promise. I have always waited for you, but I don't think you waited for me."

You stared at him for a second, but when he did nothing, no attempt to correct you, to tell you that he still cared about you, you turned around and walked off, locking yourself in your room.

You didn't see it, but tears slowly fell down Jisung's face. All the frustrations of these past few weeks finally getting to him. He knew he should leave, this wasn't him apartment after all, but he couldn't find the motivation to stand. All he could do was replay your words over in his head. You kept your promise. You waited for him.

He was so stupid, believing the words of someone that he didn't even know. He believed that you were sleeping around with people you didn't even know. He believed it and he hurt you because of it. Hell he blamed you for the horrible, unjustified actions of that guy. You probably didn't want to wait for him anymore, and he wouldn't blame you. He was horrible. He hurt you and had no right to say all those horrible things to you. He was horrible.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, but Jisung finally decided it was time to leave. As he was walking out, he glanced at the picture of you and him, that was faced down. He walked over and picked it up, staring at both your smiling faces, wishing for the simpler days to return. Jisung set the picture down, facing up this time and walked out, longing to hold you and just apologize for everything that he did.

#oof there will be a third part dont worry #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids senarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids soft hours #stray kids angst #stray kids reactions #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung drabble

[cucci]

Sanctuary

Pairing: Therapist!Bucky x Reader (though he’ll mostly be referred to as James/ Dr. Barnes in this AU)

Summary: Reader just wants a good therapist who’ll help her get her shit together. Instead she finds her sanctuary~

Disclaimer: I am NOT promoting romantic therapist/client relationships by any means. This story is fiction and is only for fun. Therapist/client relationships involve huge power imbalances and should be kept strictly professional.

Warning: Insecurity, a lot of it and feelings of anxiety~

Chapter 3: Try Out Feeling Good

“I’m back, guys!”

Wanda’s (loud) voice rings through open space of your living room, snatching you out of dreamland.

“Shit, Wanda,” Nat groans. “Maybe lower your voice when people are sleeping?”

You sit up on your side of the couch, stretching here and there and rubbing the blur of sleep away. Surprisingly, the sun is already high in the sky when usually you’re up a little before daybreak. ‘How long did we sleep?’

“Yeah, I can see that. The both of you should’ve been up by now. It’s 1 o’clock.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, you never sleep that late.

After you and Nat had eaten dinner (“dinner” being greasy pizza and soda) around 8 o’clock you’d washed the few dirty dishes and tidied up other areas of the apartment (you actually felt satisfied actually completing the task)then the two of you went back to watching shitty TV shows.

“And besides,” Wanda continues, “I’ve got news.”

“You sure do.” Natasha gives a scrutinizing but playful look. “Where were you all night, huh?”

“Yeah,” you join, poking fun at the brunette. “We were waiting on you to join our TV and pizza night.”

Wanda’s cheeks go pink and the flush spreads to her neck, “I was out.” She tries to shake off her bashfulness and continues. “We got invited out tonight. Well, I did but the invite has been extended to you two. How could I go out with my best friends?”

“You definitely did last night. Anyways, I gotta shower,” Natasha says. She get up off of the couch and makes her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day you assume.

“How nice of you to stay and get the details, Nat,” Wanda says.

“Shower first, details later,” she replies as she goes into the bathroom.

Wanda turns her eyes to you expectantly. You chuckle, knowing she wants you to ask first. “Where’d we get invited to?”

“Somewhere fun,” she says in typical Wanda fashion to your dismay. ‘Fun’ usually involves a party or something similar in your experience. “Come on, I’m helping you choose something to wear.”

—

‘Fun’ (unsurprisingly) turned out to be a party, some event at a club that Wanda’s mystery guy wanted her to come to. The three of you shuffle into the club quickly, wary of others pushing in behind you.

“I’m gonna go find him,” Wanda says. She speaks so fast you barely understand what she says before she’s tip toeing off to find her guy, whoever he is.

The place is terribly crowded, people dancing and grinding around the place, the smell of alcohol and sweat and perfume cloud your senses and add to your building anxiety.

The skimpy dress and heels Wanda dressed you in aren’t helping either. The outfit is gorgeous and you actually felt nice, pretty even until you stepped out of your home, immediately afraid of how other will perceive you. And the fact that you feel ten times more vulnerable in the outfit isn’t much of a bonus.

‘I look ridiculous with this makeup,’ you think. 'Why’d I even agree to come here?’

Nat’s slender arm loops around your own, anchoring you in way and calming you down, you’re thankful for it.

“Want a drink first?” She practically shouts the question to be audibles over the pounding music. Your ears ring a little. “You seem a little tense.”

“Ye-yeah,” your response is clumsy, you’re really not sure what you want to do but Natasha’s suggestion seems like the best option.

Natasha leads as the two of you push and shove to get through the horde of dancing people and club goers until you’re finally at the bar. You pull out a stool and settle in at the counter, resting your elbows on the cool glass. You try and take some deep breathes, hoping to gain control of your nerves.

Natasha sits down too, then waves a slim hand to get the bartender’s attention. You don’t hear clearly what she orders but you’re to overwhelmed to ask and minutes later, she’s sliding you some bright colored, decorated drink. You eye the beverage until you finally take a sip. The fruity taste is sweet but you can definitely feel the warmth for alcohol as it slides down your throat.

‘Good, now maybe I’ll calm down a little.’

You’re not sure how much time passes as you slowly consume the drink but you can feel it in your system. Your low alcohol tolerance is definitely apparent right now.

“Natasha, Y/N,” you barely catch Wanda’s voice as she yells over the music. Turning around, you see her approaching you and Nat with a man with her. He’s tall, very tall actually with shaggy blonde hair that barely meets the top of his forehead. He smiles down at her fondly while she continues to wave you guys down.

“You guys,” she says, now standing confidently in front of the both of you. “This is Victor, he’s the one who invited us tonight. Victor, these are my best friends, Natasha and Y/N.”

“Hi,” you say politely offering out a hand to shake. Nat does the same and he obliged both of you.

“Well, ladies I hope you don’t mind me taking her away again tonight, we’ve got some things to do,” Victor says, giving Wanda a knowing look. She grins up at him playfully.

Your chest tightens, the all too familiar green monster rising in you again. You feel happy for your friend but you can’t help but want that too, somebody to look at you like you’re all seven wonders of the world and more.

‘But Wanda’s actually beautiful though and charming and funny and-‘

“Yeah, no problem,” Nat says. “Wanda, behave.” She sends Wanda a teasing look, Wanda waves her off and smiles at you then the happy couple is winding back through the crowd.

“Y/N,” Natasha says to get your attention. “I’m gonna go dance. You wanna come or...”

You shake your head at her, “No, you go ahead. I’m gonna hang out here.” And like Wanda and Victor, she’s gone to have fun and party carelessly like you wish you could.

Of course in typical Natasha style, she finds someone to someone to dance with in minute as you watch. The man is just as beautiful as Nat is, tall and handsome with broad shoulders and shaggy blond hair. Lucky, Natasha.

You look around the rest of the club, feeling even more dejected than before as you watch people laugh and dance and spill their cups like they’re having the time of their lives.

‘Wanda’s in love and Natasha’s met some hot guy then there’s me,’ Your regular deprecating thoughts are amplified and only add to your feelings of inadequacy. The alcohol in your system makes your head. You feel sick.

“I gotta get outta here,” you mumble to no one. Your anxiety overloads your brain making your breathing shallow and your muscles clench, unclench and clench over and over again.

You’re slightly relieved when you make it out of the crowed venue even though the world tilts in front of you for a moment.

You want to turn back and get Natasha first but that thought is thrown out of the window immediately, there’s no way in hell you’ll go back in there. Rather than going back in that hell hole, you reach into your small clutch for your cell phone and shoot a quick message to Nat and Wanda: I’m going home, not feeling well but I’ll be ok :)

That was lie but you didn’t want them to worry. A few minutes tick past and they both respond.

Nat replies first, ‘I’ll check on you when I get home, babe <3’

The Wanda’s reply follows, ‘awww, hope ya feel better.’

You weakly smile at their responses then another wave of dizziness passes over you so quickly, you phone a cab, hoping they’ll arrive before you lose your ability to stand properly.

—————

The ride home is slow- too slow for you when all you want is a warm shower and the comfort of your bed. And when you finally come to a stop in front of your apartment building, you stumble out of the cab (not before blundering to get to get cash out of your clutch) and make your way up to you home.

You get the spare key Wanda had hidden in one of the fake little plants nearby and get into the apartment. Gracelessly, you make your to the bathroom and shuck off the clinging dress and heels.

You step in and turn on the warm spray of water and sit down in the tub, tucking your knees close to your chest and letting your head rest on them.

The makeup on your face yields to the warm water sending streams of mascara and foundation down your cheeks into the drain. The alcohol, your own anxiety and intrusive thoughts make an ugly mix inside of you. And without the comfort of Wanda or Natasha, you feel alone, completely and utterly alone.

Tears soon join the the downpour on your face.

--------------------

Tag List: @marvelsangels @technicallykawaiisoul @yallgotkik

A/N:I had to use one of Visions’ aliases to fit into the more “realistically” but hope y'all enjoy this and as always leave feedback :)

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #Marvel AU #captain america #james barnes #natasha x steve #Black Widow #avengers au #avengers #wanda #wanda maximov #Scarlet Witch #bucky barnes smut #vision x wanda #n #bucky fanfic #bucky x you

[a-cai-jpg]

I feel like this is to assure myself and no one else.

It has recently come to my attention that real people actually read this blog. 

That sounds a little stupid, given that I religiously advertise it on both Snapchat and Instagram, but there was a part of me that assumed it would fly over the heads of most (see: all) people. And it's inherently contradictory, but I did not think a Real Person would take time out of their lives to read my utterly irrelevant musings.

I am terribly grateful to my friends and then some for deeming me important enough to click into this site. I am thankful for their validation when they don't just do it silently, lurking amidst the sans serif. One quoted my own words back at me in ALL CAPS, another sent me a video zooming in on my disgruntled face on the sidebar, and more mention it casually in passing conversation, jolting me into the reality that yes, this is A Thing.

But as I laid in bed and typed up the post two days ago, I'm suddenly reminded of why I rarely made my writing public.

I sound like an ungrateful little shit, and I'm truly happy whenever someone mentions The Thing (i just don't like the word blog), and I want to share The Thing with the world because it's a little scary thinking about how all your time and effort and words and emotion could be lost somewhere in the void, like an unread letter that's wandered off the post-trail, but.

Writing digs into the most vulnerable flesh of your heart and mind. I recently saw a quote, "We are writers, my love. We don't cry, We bleed on paper." And there are variations of this quote from others: "I don't think all writers are sad. I think it's the other way around: all sad people write;" "I didn't write it down to build a poem. I wrote it down because that is what I do with the things that unravel me. I drag them across a page."

I don't mean for this to take a maudlin turn, but writing is a salve for aches in the soul. I'm by no means a writer, but I like to think I write (s/o to my soulmate, jackson wang, who said, "i'm not a rapper...i just rap). And sometimes, sharing what I've "dragged across the page" is turning my skin inside out.

I'm definitely more comfortable with sharing my vulnerability through words on a sheet of paper (or words on a WordPad document) than through words spoken to another Real Person. 

In my junior year of high school, I sat in a hotel room in Sacramento with words stuck behind my clenched teeth. It was the most peculiar feeling, like if I loosened my jaw, I would vomit the words from my chest and they would tumble off the bedsheets and onto the floor, staining the hotel carpet. But the tension never snapped, and I scrawled them onto a torn sheet of paper instead.

Even now, I express the deepest parts of my emotions through letters. I think a large part of it is because I don't want to see the emotions unfold on someone's face. It's not that I don't want to see them, but I don't think I--this emotionally constipated individual--am capable of responding to them in a way that's not, "Uh. Yeah. Okay. Lol bye." And I feel like that's just not appropriate or sufficient in some circumstances. Better to just avoid the potentially awkward situation.

(yes this is not the most mature way to deal with emotions but spare me the lecture.)

And so, when I am writing, and not saying words at someone's face, I pull out the most intimate intricacies of my heart and twist them into phrases and sentences. And I like to do it without a filter.

But when I was writing these past few days, I was conscious of an audience. I began crafting sentences through the lens of what would this specific person think of this and oh my god what if this person reads this and fuck it ok just kidding we can't just fuck it sos. It was a dangerous balance between editing and re-editing and declaring, "Fuck the world, I write for me, and I'm going to write recklessly and with abandon."

This the main crux of the problem: there is me, the person that you know and talk to and maybe have grown up with, and then there is me, the person who spits words out onto The Thing. And sometimes the two me's mesh perfectly like a pattern overlaid on another to produce an image, and sometimes they don't. 

It's kind of like when you go clubbing with a childhood friend for the first time, and you've only known them as the youth group-going, favorite child of all Asian parents, and then y'all are in the club and damn okay they just took seven shots in a row. 

(I'm not speaking from personal experience.)

There is a moment of reckoning when you try to reconcile two facets of a person.

(Or maybe this is a me problem, but bear with me here.)

A few months ago, I took a trip with two of my closest friends to San Diego, to visit the college town where one of them spent four incredibly formative years. It was fun and beautiful and very, very disorienting, because in my egocentric point of view, I had forgotten that we lived these four years separately. Suddenly, he was introducing to me a different life, a different history that I wasn't part of, and I couldn't help but feel like I was sitting in the passenger seat of a stranger's car, listening to a crude imitation of a familiar playlist.

The feeling began somewhere on the 5 freeway, when he navigated the unfamiliar lanes with a practiced ease, and swelled as the sun set and he told stories about Mount Soledad and him and his friends.

And it was weird, because I felt like an intruder, even though I had been invited into his memories, and the unease took shape as silence and stilted words until he asked, "Are you okay? You seem weird." And the feeling was spilling onto the back of my hands as I gripped the skirt of my dress, but I couldn't beat it into words, so I unclenched my fists and fastened my seatbelt and choked out a, "Nah, I'm just tired."

I think I'm still in the process of working through this reckoning. It doesn't happen for all of my friends, and it's not always so discomforting. Sometimes, I scroll through Instagram pages with a sort of curious hunger to fill the years I’ve missed, and other times, I take the new information, file it as: Yeah okay, I could've predicted that. But then, there are the times where I can only search someone's face in silence, lump in my throat as I rewind our histories and try to find where one of them snagged and became out of sync.

The different facets of the self should, all in all, unveil the most authentic self. The more you get to know a person, the more you really know a person. I imagine it like you're building a three-dimensional sculpture, and with each new piece of information, you add another bit of plaster to it. Yet, I sometimes lose sight of what I'm trying to build, and when I see the blueprint again, I realize I've veered wildly off course. It's scary, every time I run into a moment like this, because it's like the person I knew, the friend I've had for a decade, was actually just someone I created in my mind, a person who overlapped at the edges with the Real Person, but ultimately, were not the same. And when the illusion disappears, I'm left with a stranger.

I'm exaggerating, but.

I'm a little scared this is what you will feel as you read this. I'm scared there will be no separation between the writer and the writing, and although writing reveals the deepest, most intimate parts of a person, is it really the authentic self? It's only a slice, a slice I had cut with carefully chosen words.

So I want to assure you, if you are someone like me who thinks they view the world on a wide-angle lens but really, only through a slit, and you are someone like me who reels when the cover is yanked away and you're left staggering through the new vista, that every sentence is a part of me, but who you know and who you talk to and who you message is a larger piece of me. And maybe we will never get to know each other fully, because that kind of privilege is saved for but a few, that doesn't make either of us any less authentic.

I sometimes wonder what character development looks like in the real world. When I was a sophomore in high school, I cringed so hard when my favorite English teacher tried to use my essay as an example in class that he almost immediately pulled it out from underneath the Elmo projector and used someone else's. In freshman year of college, I wanted to join a creative writing club, but after realizing that I wouldn't be able to submit my work for peer-editing anonymously, I banished that notion. Yet, for some reason, in my senior year, I decided I wanted to take a fiction writing course. On the day of my first workshop, my hands shook so much that I had to sit on them to stop trembling.

In the beginning of the class, I, myself, had a very difficult time separating the writing from the writer. I think especially in an intro class, students use facets of their own life to create fiction. I think even advanced writers do the same, because ultimately everything you write is you. And I did my fair share of speculation--why did she write about a sibling rivalry does she have a sister, hey did this guy study abroad in hong kong with you because he wrote about that, and huh i wonder if she grew up in florida this is beautiful.

It's the kind of speculation we do with the Greats. Did Shakespeare write Hamlet for his son, Hamnet? Who was Sonnet 18 written for? Was Shakespeare gay? Because see, in this one bit, he wrote.....

(i was a very bored AP lit student ok)

It's the same kind of speculation my friend did when she finished listening to a new song by Crush and said, "Oh, he must be dating." Or the speculation all the YouTube comments had when Jon Cozart and Dodie Clark released duo songs titled "Tourist: A Love Song from Paris" and "a non love song from nashville." It's the kind of speculation you do when you are given a slice of someone's soul, and suddenly, you want to understand the whole thing.

But that kind of scrutiny is uncomfortable. We're okay with doing it to Shakespeare, because the dude's dead. We're okay with doing it to big name artists because hello, Crush is not going to hear my friend talking about him. We're less okay with doing it in the public realm of YouTube comments because they are read by the content creators who explicitly said, "pls don't speculate." We are even less okay with doing it to our peers, and we are not okay with other people doing it to us. Okay, maybe I should just speak for myself.

My trajectory in that fiction writing class was backward. My first story was about a white male living in New Jersey. My last story was about a Chinese American woman who used to live in the suburbs of Los Angeles.

It wasn't planned.

It's as if my subconsciousness drew up barriers the minute I stepped into that classroom, and wrote a story as far removed from who I am as possible. 

Because really, who is going to think that the gas jockey with a hunger for divine power is me?

(sike.)

But I guess character development is becoming okay with vulnerability and with potential speculation, and as I wrote, I began writing closer and closer to the heart, pulling the words from the east coast to the west.

When the last workshop rolled around, I was calm, sitting at one of those awful, plasticky chairs with tiny, useless desks attached to one arm. I was neither defensive nor uncomfortable, like I thought I would be, just at peace and humbled as I listened to my classmates discuss the craft of my writing.

And I think that's the ultimate lesson: once you write something, or create something, and release out into the wild, it no longer belongs to you. It's an argument I used to make in my art history class, but it's an argument that John Green often makes when his readers ask him about the meaning behind his books.

I don't quite mean it like he does, when he says, "Books belong to their readers." I think that before the writing is consumed by the reader, it is its own entity, existing independently of both writers and readers. And when it is eventually taken up by the reader, the writer shouldn't feel a sense of possessiveness or vulnerability or fear about the content.

And shit, that really fucks up my other thing about trees falling in forests but anyways.

There are a load of other things I have to consider when suddenly, the dumb spools of thoughts in my brain become free content for the Internet. Like, privacy rights? Am I allowed to talk about this one thing my unnamed friend said, but wait, you can definitely tell who it is, oh fuuuuuu-. At what point is it oversharing? Do I get to decide the line between okay and TMI, or does me declaring that I am writing this for myself mean there is no line?

But, in the end, I just want to say thank you.

I’m really used to, as I’m sure many people are, presenting just one facet of my whole self to people. Every individual has a number of different roles, and each role comes with its own set of rules and norms. The sociological part of me says that this discomfort I’m feeling has a lot to do with the breaking down of norms. There is a certain playbook people go by when they lower their barriers, but this circumvents that.

And honestly, maybe I’m just thinking too much into it and all of this is for naught, but it was cathartic writing this all out, even if I had to take two very lengthy breaks to get my thoughts in order.

(just kidding, one of them was to watch Kingdom season 1).

There are so many things I am grateful for, and I fear that in the past week, I have been battling bad vibes and have forgotten how incredibly privileged I am.

So, here is List 16 of The 52 List Project (that my friend made me start legit in 2016 and I'm still on list 17)

List 16: List your Essentials 1. Family & Friends ✔ 2. Affirmation & Love ✔ 3. Achievement ✔ 4. Happiness ✔ 5. Hope & Dreams ✔ 6. Phone ✔ 7. ID/Card holder ✔ 8. Plush blankets ✔ 9. Stuffed animals ✔ (so many!) 10. Inspiration from a boy on skates ✔ (see: hope & legacy) 11. Good music ✔ (i gotchu fam, here's ur r&b fix) 12. Good books ✔ (go check out a book)  13. Good conversations ✔ 14. Thoughts ✔ 15. Creativity ✔ 16. Music ✔ 17. Possibilities ✔

#beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop skrrt skrrt

[7-deadlysins]

nct u react to seeing you (his idol gf) with another idol

+ does not include taeil, kun and ten

+ friendly reminder: me doing these reactions doesn’t mean i like, influence people to like, want to normalize or condone jealousy/ toxic relationships. just putting that out there, people are into different things and i will respect that, but this is meant to only be a reaction! ty & enjoy ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

taeyong: 

Mr. booming system up up would be stressed deep down because he’d be having an internal conflict. 1. He trusts and loves you, but 2. he’s actually a really insecure person. He wouldn’t necessarily take his anger–fueled by jealousy– out on you, but he would definitely get more quiet. He would never take his eyes off of you and the other guy until one of the boys notice and nudge him to tone it down. He’s extremely sensitive to little things and has a hard time hiding emotions like sadness and anger. However, due to his leader status, he’d be good at maintaining his image in front of the public. Yet he would suddenly end up next to you somehow, pull you away using your shirt while you were mid-conversation and that was it. He provided no explanation. He would probably take you out after to your favorite restaurant though–but he’d still be a little petty throughout the night. (smh y'all water signs PETTY as hell) 

doyoung:

Unlike TY track TY track, Doyoung wouldn’t share his jealous feelings at all. To me, he doesn’t seem like the type to be fond of sharing emotions–especially ones that make him look vulnerable. In fact he’d try to hide it by being a fake hoe and laughing loudly at the other idol’s jokes–even if they weren’t jokes. You would instantly know something was up by his fake hoe antics, and would tell him to calm down. But he wouldn’t listen. Eventually, he’d have scared away the other guy with his really weird behavior and backhanded compliments. 

jaehyun:

Unlike popular belief, Jaehyun wouldn’t get jealous and suddenly turn into daddy by something as small as an interaction between two people, with words. It would take a lot for him to reach that “oh he mad mad” level of jealousy. Over little things, he’d get a little sad, but he’d also get over it real fast. Peachyun’s brain and heart are only filled with love and happiness and Corgi butts. He would still want more attention from you that night though. 

winwin:

Sicheng, like Doyoung, is a quiet jealous. But his aura would be much more darker and serious. (uh hello scorpio u crazy ass) He’d probably not say or do much right then and there, but it would always be roaming around in the back of his mind. This jealousy and possessiveness would come out though, but only during appropriate times (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you know? Expect a lot more skinship during nights he feels jealous and possessive. A LOT of pleasure as well.

Jungwoo:

Would be a liiiiittle bit upset and a lot bit pouty. He wouldn’t be jealous really, he’d just feel competitive over your attention. He’d even step it up a notch and be sassy to the other guy, but unfortunately, the guy would end up laughing it off because of his cuteness. Jungwoo could literally say “I hate you, stay away from my girlfriend,” but everyone would just bust non-stop uwus out of their ass. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind you being friendly and talking to other idols, as long as you love him and he loves you. (Just watch out for his sassy alter ego, Jungwoo Minaj.) 

Lucas:

Lucas didn’t get jealous over random guys talking to you “.. okay but look at me.” He might say he didn’t get jealous because of his good looks, but he knew deep down the value of time and memories and feelings, so he never got jealous like that. It was simply a competition of “who can do more outrageous things and be the loudest to get your attention.” He always won so.. In conclusion, he needs some milk. No but in reality, he doesn’t get jealous often, and when he does, he’d probably flirt with the other idol and 1. either weird the guy out or 2. bias wreck him. If he was ever jealous in a serious way though, he’d probably get a little distant, but he just needs a little push from you. With patience and love, eventually he’d talk it out with you and when you reassure him, he’d crack a joke and continue on with his thot antics. ㅠㅡㅠ (He wouldn’t sulk over things for too long.)

Mark:

Can’t distinguish between flirting or being friendly 19/10 times. He would be the observe and try to figure out whether it’s flirting or being friendly type of jealous.  Would probably stand by you, converse with the guy, then his brain is suddenly like “Oh what?? Is this guy flirting with her?” And then after that he’s just gone. His mind is drifting into unknown space of questions and confusion. He has never been seriously jealous before, because you guys have a fun relationship and nothing would ever be too grim and serious. But he’d definitely be the type to ask those “Do you like making me jealous? Huh??” types of questions. It’s fun to see him be jealous from time to time, because it’s so rare and his face does a sexy thing. 

#nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #nct reactions #nct texts #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct taeyong #nct mark #nct jungwoo #nct doyoung #nct lucas #nct jaehyun #nct winwin #nct sicheng #nct yuta #nct taeil #nct ten #nct johnny #nct jaemin #nct jeno #nct jisung #nct kun #nct haechan #nct chenle #nct renjun #nct fluff #nct yukhei #nct smut

[jason-todd-deserved-better]

Bite Me - Tim Drake x Reader

Requested by @astressedwriter : “For the sexual tension thing, ""bite me." With Tim drake ?? Love you! ❤” (ILY2, thank you for the request!)

A/N: Hello my dudes! I am here with another Tim story. (You have only done two, you dumb ass.) I’m kinda annoyed with how long this took but I’m happy on how this played out even though I wrote way more than I was expecting to for this. (Though this did come out more angsty rather than sexual tension-y, so sorry about that, but I tried 😅.) Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and be sure to let me know what you guys think! Love Y'all. Also, I hope all my fellow Floridians up in Panhandle are safe and sound because it looks extremely ugly up there and I know hurricanes are no fun at all. Good luck my dudes, please stay safe and be careful!

Now to say that you didn’t get along with Red Robin was a major understatement. From the minute you guys were introduced, to this very second, you guys hated each other. The two of you just butted heads constantly, it wasn’t as apparent in the beginning but things slowly escalated as the months passed and it just got to the point the two of you couldn’t even be in the same room as the other.

You both were the smartest people on the team, but other than that you were polar opposites. He was more reserved and intensive, so focused on his work that he wouldn't stop for anything to make sure a case is solved. While you, on the other hand, were more energetic but laid back and was generally the type of person who would make sure all your friends were happy and healthy.

The final nail on the coffin though was your quick friendship with the devil himself, Damian. Oh, man were the two of you annoying, your guy’s friendship was literally a giant hate on Tim Drake club, and it seriously pissed him off. Plus, what kind of maniac could befriend Satan as fast as you did? Like what kind of crazy person are you?

But it was so damn hard to get you out of his mind, it was nearly impossible. You were there in the back of his mind, you were there at the forefront of his brain and you were there in the Cave way too much for his liking. Then on the other hand, you were no better, what thoughts went through his mind also went through yours and none of you had an absolute clue about it. Like it got to the point where you just don’t want to care anymore but here you were, going back to thinking he looked kinda cute with his focused gaze on the screen.

At this point, the two of you were obsessed with each other but neither of you wanted to admit to themselves, let alone with each other.

But the rest of the team, they just knew that something was going on between the two of you. While a couple ignored it to the best of their ability, others may or may not have made bets about whether or not they would either punch each other then kiss, or kiss then punch each other. Damian was a part of the ignore it at all costs and it might go away group. Then on the opposite side of the spectrum was Dick who was just praying at this point for you two to just kiss and make up already. Of course, there is also the Chaotic Neutral, Jason who really loved watching you guys go at each other’s throats, but also wants you guys to see that you both like each other. Everyone else was just scattered throughout the spectrum.

Either way, you guys were a frequent topic of conversation. This would also triple when Dick would pair the two of you for missions. To you, it felt like a punishment because don’t you see that me and him just can’t stand each other?! Was the main thought process that had gone through your mind. The same thought process was going through his. Today was one of those days.

This operation though was on an increase of gang activity around an abandoned elementary school on the edge of Gotham from some of Black Mask’s men. Everyone knew that there was something not right there so you guys were sent to go investigate to go see what was going down and to put a stop to it.

So sucking up your pride you guys go on your mission, but the entire time it was silent between the two of you. At this point, it was just unsettling to you, as the noiselessness of anything had always put you on edge. The entire ride to the mission’s destination there was completely soundless, not even the radio was on to help distract you from him.

Basically, your entire thought process was focused on him. So you observed him as he drove. You notice his jaw clenching after a while, but his focus never left the road. Was it weird that you wanted a little of that attention on you? Yeah probably, you thought.

What you didn’t know was that he was barely focused on the road, he might have been driving the car but his brain was studying the body language the body language off yours in the passenger side of the car that he saw at the corner of his eye. He knew that you were staring at him, he could feel your gaze piercing his face as he drove. Tim for a moment felt slightly giddy but he pushed those feelings down as he thought you were making a million insults about him and his imperfections. That gave a very bitter taste in his mouth.

“What.” He says, annoyance and a slight venom burning through his words.

With the silence broken by him, it left you a little clueless. “Huh? I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re staring holes into my head, what unpleasant thought is going through your pretty little-deranged head right now?” At this you scoff at his pettiness, eyes scrunching in displeasure.

You let out a harsh groan. “Who the hell said I was even thinking about you?”

“You’re undivided attention,” His eyes never left the road as you neared the abandoned school where the case led you to. “You have that face whenever you and the demon spawn start talking trash.”

“Woah, you’re completely full of yourself, Drake.” You state, annoyance and sarcasm filling your voice.

“(L/N), that's all you do when I’m around.” His glare maybe on the road but it is directed towards you. “You guys are the literal hate on me club.” Well, that threw you back a bit.

“My dude, you do that to me all the time.” You were feeling pretty vulnerable now “Complaining about me to Bruce behind my back. Picking my insecurities one by one when you want to make me squirm. Hell, you did this the first time I ever went out on patrol with you guys.”

That made him pause. “Okay, first of all, I didn’t complain-”

“Okay fine, you bitched your heart out of your pretty mouth.” You interrupt as he pulled into the school, crossing your arms across your chest, moving your gaze in front of you.

“No, I didn’t!” He exclaims as he parks the car.

“Yeah, you did!” With that, he turns to you with furry in his eyes only to meet to yours with as much anger.

“Why do you always have to always tell me I’m wrong?!”

“Why do you always have to contradict me?!”

“Why do you always have to make me feel like I’m doing something wrong?!”

“Why do you hate me so much?!” You both yelled at each other, and for a moment everything was still, both yours and Tim’s eyes opening to each other for the first time.

Tim opens his mouth to say something but nothing escapes his lips.

Having enough of this game, you look away sliding your mask down your face and unbuttoning the shirt you were wearing over your costume. You let your eyes wander back to him, seeing him do the same after a couple seconds. You even caught him glancing over at you too, but there wasn’t any malice there anymore.

Before you left the car, you whisper, “I don’t hate you.” Then before Tim could say anything you exit the car, leaving the conversation behind, your heart feeling lighter but at the same time being dragged back to him.

Yet you put it to the back of your head, getting your game face on, with the now dressed Red Robin following behind you.

Fast forward an hour or two later you and Tim after finding the base inside and putting a stop to the weapons operation there take down the operation. It was an extremely hard fight. Harder than any of you honestly expected but you guys took it down.

When it was finally over though, the two of you were out of breath. On the way back to the car you were extremely quiet and were lagging a good bit behind him. It was definitely out of character for you, and given the “conversation” you had with Tim before the mission, he felt something was off.

“(S/N)?” He questions, turning around and expecting to see your tired self walking behind him.

He saw you on the ground on your knees, grasping your side with one hand and trying to keep yourself up with the other.

Now your fatal flaw was making sure that you were a help instead of a burden. You felt the agony of the bullet puncturing into your body, embedding itself into your side. But you couldn’t stop fighting, you might die but so could Tim if you stopped so you kept going, the battle ending a few moments later. But you were having trouble as you tried to stay standing as long as you could, putting a hand to the slowly spreading stain of blood on your uniform, trying to steady your breathing so you could follow without letting Tim know.

Tim ran right for you, removing your hand to see the damage then cursing under his breath as he sees it, then immediately picking you up and dashing towards the car. Opening the door putting you inside, running around the car to get in and dashing back towards the cave.

“I’m sorry,” You mutter as he speeds across Gotham to Wayne Manor, fear shaking your voice across the car. “For everything.”

He could barely hear you, and it really scared him in a way he didn’t think possible. “Don’t say that like you’re dying (Y/N), that’s not going to happen.”

You chuckle, but there was no humor behind it, just pain. “Bite me, Drake.”

You could barely hear him at this point, your senses fading as you neared the Cave.

You were completely unconscious by the time Tim got you there.

It was a miracle that you even made it there alive. An even bigger one that you made it through the night in the infirmary. Hell, you shouldn’t really be breathing right now.

But you were and even though you were alive, it took a couple of days to wake up, then about a week until you were able to stand up and walk around. The healing process was a long one, but it was much better than being dead was your thought process throughout.

A couple months after the incident and you were back to fighting crime, and it was like coming home for the first time in years. God, you missed the freedom it gave you, the wind in your hair and the adrenaline pumping through your veins.

One thing that put you slightly off was that you now had a shadow in the shape of Red Robin trailing a couple rooftops behind you.

Now throughout the time that you were unconscious, he was with you almost the whole day according to Damian. (Who wasn’t happy about it, like at all.) But when you woke up, he faded into the background, trying to distance himself from you as much as possible. It wasn’t about hate anymore, no it was about guilt. Yet, he was never too far away from you, and this put you on edge, and maybe even a little remorseful on how you handled the situation back then.

With a sigh leaving your lips, you turn around just staring at him across the roofs in between the two of you. “I didn’t realize that I ordered a stalker by mistake.” It wasn’t said with annoyance but with a witty twist to it.

“You know, you do realize that you don’t order stalkers right?” He says with a dry chuckle as he jumps across to the rooftop your standing on.

“I know, but given the situation, it kinda feels like it.” You state, watching him walk across to you.

“Why do you say that?” He had a feeling he knew the answer but he wanted to hear you say it.

“Because it was my fault that I got shot and didn’t tell you about it until it was almost too late.”  Okay, he got what you were saying but he didn’t like it.

“No it’s more on me than anything,” He says, resting his arms on the side of the building and facing the city lights. “I was the one who started the fight in the car beforehand and threw us both off our game.”

“I sure as hell didn’t help that, I was about ready to chew your head off.” You state, turning to face the view.

“Yeah, but nothing new there.” It wasn’t cruel when he said it if anything it was a joke and the growing smile on his face showed it.

You laugh, oh two can play at that game, you thought. “And you looked like you were ready to shoot lasers from your eyes.”

“While you were staring holes in the side of my head,” He says mid-laugh. “I thought you were planning on figuring out a way to help Damian shave my head in my sleep or something.”

You scoff, giggling soon after. “I plead the fifth on the involvement of that one.”

“Doesn’t mean you weren’t involved.”

“Bite me, Red. I didn’t say that I did and I didn’t say that I didn’t.” Your eyes travel to him as you speak, catching his eyes staring into yours.

It was quiet for once as if the world had held its breath for the second time in the past couple of months just to see what would transpire between the two of you. Then when the moment passed with both of your eyes locked together, ever so slowly you both lean in and when your lips finally meet, it felt like the universe shifted. Not in the bad cataclysmic way, but in a way to let the light shine through on the both of you.

#tim drake x reader #tim drake headcanon #tim drake imagine #tim drake imagines #Tim Drake #red robin x reader #Red Robin #red robin imagine #red robin headcanon #dc #DC comics #dc comics imagine

[laurens-lil-fics]

Swear to me... StarLord x Reader

Summary: In a galaxy where the Infinity Stone was never given to the Nova Corps, Peter and (Y/n) struggle to let it go.

Word Count: 2436 words

Warnings: Sooo much angst! Some cursing, some violence, mentions of death!

Author’s note: This is for @thorsthot ‘s writing challenge! Congratulations and thank you for letting me participate! 

I had Prompt #23:” Kiss me, you idiot.” This ended up a lot more angsty than it was supposed to, maybe cuz I was listening to this the whole time. Also tagging @imamotherfuckingstar-lord in this since she loves angst and the lord of the stars.

I hope y'all enjoy!

(Y/n) felt absolutely trapped. She wanted to scream, wanted to get away.

“(Y/n)... (Y/n)?! Baby I said I was sorry!”

She jumped at the sound of her boyfriend’s voice and shut the door to Rocket’s old room. Looking around the room she settled for one of Groot’s old planting pots and approached it.

(Y/n) would be damned if this didn’t work. She placed the metal orb into the pot and began filling it with some old soil, setting it among the other pots on the table.

Before returning to Peter she washed her hands, knowing he’d pinpoint the orb’s hiding place the second he saw her hands.

When Peter saw her step into their room his blood ran cold at the look in her eyes. The leather straps on his wrists had him tied down and vulnerable to her fury, he would probably die tonight.

“You think you’re so slick, huh?” she growled, crossing her arms and watching him frantically try to get free of the straps on his wrists.

“Baby, cmon… I needed to get my fix, you know I can’t quit cold turkey…” he whined, leaning away as she moved to his side of the bed.

“Oh yes you can. I’m not letting you go to prison.” she said, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him further into the mattress. “Using that thing puts a target on our backs, the Guardians knew that, where are they now?”

Peter narrowed his eyes at her and gave up on trying to escape. “Is it so bad I wanna use the stone every now and then to help people…?”

(Y/n) sighed and turned from him, beginning to undress while her boyfriend looked on.

“It is bad, you stole it from the Nova Corp, they’ve been tailing us for months. All for what?” She slipped on one of his old t-shirts and crawled onto her side of the bed. “Just so you could feel better about yourself…?”

Peter made an attempt to turn towards her, only to be held back by the straps on his wrists.

“Baby… I can’t explain why. Really I can’t…” He murmured, feeling defeated. “It just… It calls to me yknow? I used it once and it felt so good. I finally had the power to do right by other people.”

(Y/n) frowned and looked him over. The puppy pout was too much for her, so she straddled him and began untying the straps, relaxing into him once his hands rubbed up her thighs.

“You don’t need some stupid magic stone to help people.” she sighed, running her fingers up his bare chest. “I hid the stone… Swear to me you won’t look for it.”

Peter nodded at her and pulled her flush against him, peppering kisses on her lips and rolling on top of her.

“I swear…” he murmured, looking deep into her eyes and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Kiss me, you idiot…” she said with a soft smile, squeaking as he pressed an eager kiss to her lips.

Waking up to Peter whimpering and thrashing in his sleep was one of the worst things about his dependence on the Infinity Stone. Which is why (Y/n) was wide awake when she didn’t feel him struggling beside her.

She turned to his side of the bed, panic surged through her when she saw the straps were broken and Peter wasn’t there.

(Y/n) practically ran through the entirety of the ship, but there was no sign of Peter. Her bare feet padded along the metal floors towards the one place she had been too afraid to check.

She froze once she peeked into Rocket’s old room and saw Peter rifling through some of Groot’s old pots. He turned, immediately sensing her presence, and slowly set down the pot. He glued his eyes to the floor and shifted on his feet.

(Y/n) slowly walked towards him and picked up the pot he had been searching for. Holding it up for him to see, she watched the look in his eyes go from one of guilt to one of yearning. He didn’t even notice the hurt in her eyes.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised.” She said, her tone causing Peter to finally take his eyes off the pot.

Shaking her head she turned and left the room, Peter hot on her heels and following her to their bedroom.

He quietly sat on the bed, watching (Y/n) mill about the room as she gathered her things into a bag.

“You’re just gonna leave me then…?” Peter spoke up, only to be met with silence.

(Y/n) dumped out the contents of the pot and pulled the orb out of the dirt. She shoved it into her bag and slipped on a pair of pants and shoes, ignoring the feeling of Peter’s eyes on her.

“I’m leaving and I’m taking this with me.”

Peter bit his lip and slowly shrugged, “If that’s what you think is best…”

(Y/n) whipped her head around, clutching the strap across her shoulder.

“Since when have you ever cared about what I think is best?!” she snapped, taking a step towards him. “I’ve been telling you what I think is best for months! And you never. Listen!” (Y/n) shouted.

The way Peter stared at her only made her anger burn in her core, through her lungs and up to her cheeks.

She stomped past the bed, heaving a sigh when she heard his heavy footsteps behind her.

“I have always listened, but-”

“It’s hard!” she interrupted him, throwing her duffel bag into the pod. “That’s always your excuse, I’m sick of it!”

Before (Y/n) could step into the pod Peter took hold of her and turned her to face him.

“I can help people like this, (Y/n)!”

“Not if you’re dead-”

Before the shouting match could continue, the two were thrown off their feet as the Milano shook around them.

(Y/n) sat up in Peter’s lap, shrieking as he lifted her and bolted to the cockpit with her practically under his arm.

“It’s a fucking Ravager ship … Musta spotted us from our last stop…” Peter murmured, watching the ship pull alongside them. The two ducked under the control console, dropping onto their knees and out of sight.

“There’s gotta be like what… five guys in there…”? (Y/n) trailed off.

The Milano shook again, the sounds of metal clanking surrounded the two and Peter pulled (Y/n) close.

“They’re docking us…” he whispered into her hair.

(Y/n) pulled away from him and crawled across the floor, gripping one of the grated floor panels and pulling it up.

“You gotta hide…” (Y/n) turned to Peter and watched him carefully slip under the panel.

“Baby cmon,” he pleaded, gently grabbing her hand, “come hide with me baby, please.”

(Y/n) shook her head at him and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “They won’t believe the ship’s completely empty. You’re the one they’re after… Maybe they’ll just let me go.” she reassured him.

Peter nodded at her reluctantly and let her set the panel back.

He couldn’t hear most of what was said over the pounding in his chest and the ringing in his ears. He did his best to keep hs breathing quiet, but he could hear the panic in (Y/n)’s voice as she tried convincing the Ravagers she was alone.

“This ship belongs to Quill. He ain’t leavin this ship for nuthen and we got a bounty to collect.” one said, looking around the ship.

“I know, I knew him… He’s dead.” (Y/n) replied, watching the other Ravagers look around the ship. “That stone killed him... “

“You mean this?” another asked, holding up the dirt covered Orb above (Y/n)’s forgotten duffel bag.

Peter held his breath, pressing further into the shadows as (Y/n) tried explaining herself.

“I was trying to return it. I’ve been travelling across the Galaxy to get it back to the Nova Corps.” At least that was half true...

Peter heard a grunt from (Y/n) followed by the sound of her falling onto her knees.

“We know Quill’s here, little girl! Sell him out and we’ll leave. And take the stone off your hands!” barked another, standing over (Y/n) who held her stomach and struggled to catch her breath.

A beat passed before Peter heard her grunt again as she fell onto her back. Before the Ravager could land another blow, Peter had enough.

“Stop! I’m down here, a-holes!” he shouted, pushing up one of the panels and raising his hands over his head. “Just stop…”

The Ravagers quickly pulled Peter onto his feet only for (Y/n) to place herself between them.

“No please! You don’t have to do this!” she pleaded, pressing one hand to Peter’s chest and the other to the lead Ravager’s shoulder.

“Get your hands offa me, we’re taking him to Yondu! You can either stay here or come along for the ride!”

“Please, just take the stone. I’ll give you all the money we have, just take the stone and leave him!” she begged, practically on the verge of tears.

The second the Ravagers put their hands on (Y/n) Peter began fighting against them only to be pulled away from her.

(Y/n) slipped away from her captors and lunged for Peter. She felt her fingers brush against his arm before she felt a deep, penetrating burn in her back.

Peter watched her slam into the floor at his feet. She stayed limp for a moment. Then her shoulders began shaking and he could hear her whimpering into the floor in pain.

The ringing in (Y/n)’s ears drowned out Peter’s shouting as his blurry figure was dragged off the Milano. Once he was out of sight (Y/n) suddenly realized how cold she felt.

Space had never felt so cold… Space had never been so black.

The ringing (Y/n) heard next was different. Familiar.

Her eyes fluttered open and she glanced around, spotting Peter in the pilot’s chair right beside her. Was it all a dream.

He reached over and flicked a switch on the console, giving her an apologetic look before looking back at the galaxy before them.

“Didn’t mean to wake you up…” he murmured.

The ache in (Y/n)’s back told her she was injured. It couldn’t have been a dream.

She slowly sat up, adjusting the chair into its proper position and groaning once she sat straight.

“What happened…?” she asked, reaching to feel her wound, only to realize it was nothing but a bruise now.

“Those assholes attacked us…  I sent them back to Yondu.” Something about his tone felt definite. He had nothing else to say on the matter.

“Coulda sworn I took a harder hit…” (Y/n) trailed off, looking between Peter and the orb resting on the console.

Peter only shrugged, refusing to meet her eyes.

“I patched you up… It was just a scratch.” There was that tone again.

(Y/n) knew deep down it was much worse. She coulda sworn she let go…

She bit her lip and relaxed into the co-pilot’s chair. She knew Peter wasn’t telling her something… She hoped he would tell her soon.

~~The last of the Ravagers crawled across the floor, whimpering like a pitiful animal as he heard Peter’s footsteps approaching him.

He winced away as Peter stopped in front of him, slowly raising his hands over his head and giving him a pleading look.

“Please… Let me go. I’ll go to Yondu, tell em to drop your bounty. Leave you alone…” he croaked, staring at the unforgiving pair of purple eyes that stared into his soul.

Peter kicked him onto his back and pressed the sole of his boot into the Ravager’s chest. He clenched his fists at his side, feeling one shake as purple energy enveloped it while the other clenched the Infinity stone like a vice.

“You’ll just hurt her again.”

When Peter got back to the Milano he didn’t go anywhere near (Y/n) until the stone was back in the orb.

He took his sweet time, not wanting to take a close look at the woman who had been dumb enough to stay with him as long as she did.

Once he finally knelt beside her he moved her onto her back and cradled her in his arms. He took a moment to just look at her face, already drained of its color. Peter pressed his thumb to her lips, the weight of the galaxy crashing on him when he felt how cold they were.

“You gotta get up… You gotta tell me what to do…” He whispered, hoping she’d stir awake at the sound of his voice.

He didn’t even realize he had started crying until his tears began dripping onto her cheeks. “I need you to tell me what to do... “

Peter slowly gripped her and pressed his face into her neck, mumbling against her icy skin for her to wake up, almost like a prayer.

A surge of energy passed through him. The energy from the stone was so dirty, so corrupt. What Peter felt in that moment was different. It was pure, immaculate. It felt like eternity at his fingertips.

Peter quickly pulled back once he felt (Y/n)’s breath tickle his ear, he watched in shock as her color slowly returned to her cheeks. ~~

“Where are we headed…?” she spoke up, watching him intently as he leaned back into his seat.

“We’re returning that.” He pointed to the orb.

(Y/n) felt her stomach twist with a mix of happiness and worry. He had never suggested taking the stone back himself… but that just meant he was really messed up from whatever happened with the Ravagers.

She slowly stood up and made her way to him. (Y/n) gingerly took his hands, noticing the small burns covering his fingers as she knelt in front of him.

“Swear to me… Swear to me that we’re really taking it back…” she murmured, shivering as his eyes locked with hers. Something deep in his eyes felt so distant.

He pulled her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I swear…”

(Y/n) slowly smiled, feeling tears begin to sting the corners of her eyes. Peter’s lips quirked up ever so slightly and he gently cupped her cheek, relishing in the warmth of her skin.

“Kiss me, you idiot…”

#ahhhh i really hope this is good #I also really hope the read more shows up on mobile #thorsthotchallenge #thorsthot #star lord #star lord x reader #starlord imagine #starlord x reader #Peter Quill #peter quill imagine #peter quill x reader #peter quill au #Dark!Starlord au #Chris Pratt