#((haha jk my brain is just in different places))

[gggukniverse]

self fulfillment needs | myg

title: self fulfillment needs

pairing: yoongi x reader (+ implied jungkook x reader)

series: basic needs !!!

genre: m, smut, roommates au

summary: two weeks after the kitchen incident where you had sex with your roommate while your other roommate watched you, things seem the same as always but also not the same at all. you try to approach the subject to only cause a fight and another sexual encounter.

warnings: dom!yoongi, sub!reader, yoongi is bi, jungkook is confused my baby :(, sexual tension, dirty talk, she actually tries to dom yoongi at first but... haha, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be safe), a lil edging, hair pulling, teasing, yoongi himself is a warning, choking, face slapping, praising, degradation, he calls reader a slut, begging, spanking, p*ssy slapping, yoongi has a... piercing 🥴, they talk abt jk during sex, mentions of yoongi x jungkook, yoongi is so sweet after sex i'm sad :(

wordcount: 8.8k

note: hi !!! i'm back !! first of all, this is the second part to basic needs so please read that first because you're probably not gonna understand half of this chapter. omg guys this chapter is insane i cant even look at myself in the mirror after writing all of that. i'm still not convinced if it turned out okay, it could've been a lot better, but i hope you enjoy it !!!

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it’s been two weeks since the kitchen incident. and things have been weird.

it’s kind of a tricky situation because yoongi and jungkook act just the same as always towards you, like that night never happened in the first place. you find it troubling at first but you soon realize you wouldn’t even know how to approach them about what you did in that kitchen so you just let things flow. the problem is how they act around each other.

you wouldn’t consider yourself being extremely close to them, but with over two years of living together you’ve obviously come to know their dynamic. and you know they’re friends, you’re pretty sure they have different friend groups but you know they are friends and they get along way better than you do with any of them. that’s why you quickly catch on the weird vibe there seems to be between them now.

you’re used to waking up in the morning and finding them having breakfast in the kitchen together while talking about things you don’t really understand, but these days you walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning and don’t find any of them there. and it’s not just about breakfast, it’s about the weird tension between them when you see them bumping in the corridor, the excuses they make up not to be in the living room with you at the same time and the moments you see yoongi trying to make up conversation and jungkook just hums or gives a cold answer before leaving the room.

the worst thing is that your brain tells you it must be your fault. because it must be, right? before the kitchen incident everything was just fine but now that can barely stay in the same room for more than 2 minutes together.

and you don’t mean to snap at them but you can’t stop yourself from doing it one specific morning.

“what the hell is wrong with you two?”

the initial response you get is jungkook choking on his cereal and yoongi turning away from the coffee machine to look at you with such a surprised expression you guess he didn’t expect you to say that.

“what?” jungkook is the first one to talk as he wipes at his chin with a napkin.

“no, don’t try to act dumb now,” you tell him and hear yoongi snort. “you’ve been acting weird as fuck for the past two weeks and i’m so tired of it.”

“i’m not acting weird.” yoongi mumbles as he goes back to the coffee machine.

“i’m not acting weird either-”

“yes you are.” yoongi cuts jungkook off right away.

“hyung, c’mon...”

“you can’t even look at me since that night.” yoongi says but doesn’t raise his voice, he’s not trying to fight.

“i can look at you just fine.” jungkook replies and yoongi just scoffs.

“okay, jungkook.” yoongi hums completely unbothered.

“you’re communicating like 12 year olds,” you say when you’ve had enough and they both look at you again. “if something happened that night to cause all of this you should at least talk about it instead of avoiding each other.”

“nothing happened that night.” jungkook mutters as he finishes his breakfast.

“it sure looks like something happened.” you cross your arms and lean against the door frame.

“jungkookie is too ashamed of what he did that night.” yoongi says and pours the finished coffee in his mug.

you feel a pang in your chest so you look at jungkook with a cocked eyebrow for an explanation.

he is ashamed of that night?

“no!” jungkook looks panicked. “i don’t- i... it’s not like that.” he keeps stuttering and you don’t know what to say. maybe you should’ve considered the chance of them regretting it.

“she doesn’t need any type of reassurance, jungkook,” yoongi speaks again. “we both know she’s not the one you’re having trouble with.”

“hyung.” jungkook says like he’s warning him about something you don’t really understand.

“jungkook.” yoongi replies with the same tone but he currently looks much more calm than jungkook.

“can any of you explain what is happening?” you say in confusion and jungkook just looks down at his almost empty bowl while yoongi turns around to face you with a hand gripping the counter behind him and grabbing his coffee mug with the other.

“jungkook’s never messed around with another boy and now he’s acting like he’s committed a crime.” yoongi explains and you turn to jungkook when you hear him sigh.

“i’m not gay.” he mutters, still not looking up from his cereal.

“i’m not gay either,” yoongi replies like jungkook has said the most stupid thing he’s ever heard. “do you know what being bi means?”

“i’m not bi either.” jungkook replies.

yoongi snorts. “okay.”

“hyung.”

“i just swallowed your cum, you’re acting like i fucked you in the ass.” yoongi snaps and you have to slap your hand over your mouth to hide the gasp that threatens to slip out.

“you touched me too.” jungkook mumbles.

“and now you’re gonna say that you hated it, right?” yoongi scoffs and jungkook gets quiet. “jungkook, you almost came in my hand.”

“shut the fuck up!” jungkook snaps, finally looking up at yoongi with what you think is supposed to be an angry expression but in your opinion he just looks cute. and you guess yoongi might think the same.

“or what?” yoongi replies with a cocked eyebrow. jungkook doesn’t respond, just grabs his now empty bowl and walks to the sink, leaving it there before walking out of the kitchen.

and thank god because you were gonna drown in the fucking sexual tension if they stayed together in the same room for 5 more seconds.

“sheesh...” you whisper and walk to the counter to grab an apple.

“i don’t even know why you tried to do anything.” yoongi mumbles against his coffee mug before giving it a sip.

“you know it’s not his fault to be a little confused, right?” you tell him and sit on the chair jungkook was just sitting at. “you were kind of an asshole right now.” you admit and he sighs, putting his blue mug down on the counter.

“i’m not mad because he’s confused, he has all of the right to go through that, all of us do.” yoongi clarifies and you hum before giving your apple a bite. “what bothers me is that he can’t even look at me since that night.” he says, his voice quieter this time.

“yeah... i know.” you nod because you’ve obviously noticed.

yoongi sighs. “did i ruin everything with him?” you hate how worried he looks. of course yoongi cares about him. after all, jungkook is his friend and you can’t imagine how tough it must be for him to feel like he’s losing his friend.

“you didn’t, yoongi.” you answer his question because you really mean it. “i just think he needs some time to think.”

“thinking is what made him start acting like this, he looked perfectly fine that night.” yoongi tells you. “what he has to do is talk about it, but he won’t because he’s stubborn as shit.”

“yoongi.”

“he’s my friend, i can insult him.” he says and you can’t help but chuckle. “but seriously, he should talk about all of what he’s been bottling up. he’s probably been thinking about that night for all of these past days.”

“he’s not the only one,” you blurt out without even thinking and you can feel your cheeks heat up as soon as you look at yoongi and see a smirk growing on his face. “leave me alone.” you tell him before he can tease you about it.

“i didn’t say anything,” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “but i’ve been thinking about it too so don’t look so embarrassed.” he mumbles like it’s nothing as he puts his mug in the sink.

“you have?” you ask quietly. you don’t really know why but you thought he would’ve already moved on from it, that’s why this is surprising.

“y/n, c’mon.” he chuckles like your question is the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, like the answer is obvious.

you’re about to reply, not really know what exactly, but jungkook is on the door again. he’s changed from his pajamas into some black sweatpants and a big hoodie, the hood over his head to probably cover his messy hair.

“where are you going?” you ask him. a stupid question really. at this point of quarantine people can only really leave for specific jobs or to do the groceries, and since the three of you work from home you can only suppose he’s going to do the groceries.

you turn out to be right when he walks into the kitchen and picks the little piece of paper with the list of groceries before putting it in the pocket of his hoodie. “the groceries,” he replies either way and looks at you. “do you need anything else?” he asks and you notice the way he completely ignores if yoongi wants anything too but decide not to say anything.

“not really,” you shake your had and he hums. “thanks, kook.”

jungkook nods in response and leaves the kitchen without saying another word, not even sparing yoongi a glance. just a couple of seconds later you can hear the front door opening and closing.

“he’s so...” yoongi sighs as you give your apple the last bite.

“so what?” you stand up to walk to the trash can and throw the apple. he doesn’t answer. “you wanna fuck him so bad.” you tease him.

“maybe.” he hums and you look at him, he’s just mindlessly scrolling down his phone.

you sigh and hop on the counter, swinging your legs as you think of ways to comfront him about that night. but your mouth ends up being faster than your brain.

“what did you mean?” you ask and see him putting his phone down to pay attention to you.

“what?” it just hits you now how intimidating his gaze is so you look down at your lap before speaking again.

“have you really been thinking about that night?” your voice is a little more quiet now.

“of course.” he replies like it’s the easiest question he’s ever gotten.

“okay, but like... in a good or bad way?”

when you don’t get an answer you look up at yoongi and find him pursing his lips in deep thought, like he’s calculating the words to say.

“so we’re finally talking about this.” he says.

“you don’t want to?”

“i thought you didn’t,” yoongi replies. “you didn’t address it the next morning and both you and jungkook kind of looked mortified so i didn’t pressure you into talking, i thought you wanted to forget about it.”

“i mean,” you start, trying to find the words to explain. “i kinda wanted to forget,” yoongi hums for you to keep talking. “because i felt so... weird? no, not weird. i felt-”

“uncomfortable?”

“no.”

“regretful?”

“no,” you shake your head again. “ugh, i don’t know how to explain it. i just couldn’t believe i did that, i felt a little... dirty.” you admit and god, it is so embarrassing.

“you are,” yoongi replies with a little smirk that makes you want to jump on him. jesus christ, you’re so fucked. “no, but seriously- i understand,” he says, smirk completely gone. “you could’ve talked to me though.”

“i didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it,” you explain with the annoying feeling that your cheeks are heating up again. “and since you didn’t talk about it either i thought you regretted it or something...” you mumble and yoongi’s jaw almost drops to the floor.

“what are you talking about?” he frowns, seemingly offended by what you said.

“you don’t regret it?” you ask shyly.

“the only thing i regret is not fucking you too.”

holy shit.

you could have a gun pressed to the back of your head right now and still wouldn’t admit the way your whole body feels like it’s been set on fire just from one stupid sentence.

“you- you can’t say stuff like that.” you mutter and have the decency to look at him even if you’re red as a tomato because you know he’s gonna know either way. because yoongi is a menace.

“why not?” he cocks an eyebrow. and fuck, he’s so hot you don’t understand how the hell you didn’t realize until now.

“because.” you reply because you don’t know what to say.

“no way you’re getting shy now...” yoongi chuckles as he walks to you.

“leave me alone.” you whine in protest and reach to him with your hand to softly slap his face. you do it in a playful way, your hand barely brushing against his cheek, but yoongi’s smirk completely disappears and something in your stomach twists in fear.

“do that again.” his voice is so fucking low all of the sudden, like he’s challenging you, and you don’t know if you’re scared or turned on.

“i- i’m sorry, did i hurt you?” of course the most stupid question you could’ve asked in a moment like this is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.

yoongi only shakes his head. “i said do that again,” he repeats and takes the final step towards you to stand right in front of you. “harder.”

you gulp. your whole body feels too hot, your clothes are starting to feel uncomfortable. yoongi is too close and you’re sure he’s devouring you with his eyes.

“yoongi.” you try to say something but you don’t know what you can really say.

you’ve never hit anyone. well, maybe one time a couple of years ago when a guy didn’t stop bothering you at a club when you just wanted to dance with your friends. you’ve never hit anyone this way.

does yoongi like this? is he really one of those people?

“i don’t wanna hurt you.” you mumble and feel stupid right after.

“i like it when it hurts,” yoongi replies and you have to bite your lip not to moan. “i’m asking you to do it, so just-”

the sound of the slap echoes in the quiet kitchen and you stare at yoongi with panic growing in your chest and a weird itch on the palm of your hand, the one you haven’t even put down yet from how shocked you are that you just slapped yoongi. his head is turned to the side from the slap and you can see the little reddened skin on his cheek before he turns back to you.

“i’m so sorr-”

you never get to properly apologize because the words die down your throat the second yoongi’s lips collide against yours. you immediately kiss him back and hum against his mouth when he wraps his arms around your body, moving closer to stand between your legs and pulling you as close as he can to his body. your arms are soon wrapping around his neck too and you completely lose yourself in the kiss.

he kisses you like he’s missed you. like he’s been wanting, needing to kiss you again for these past two weeks. and you’re no better, you kiss him back with the same hunger and desperation because you now realize just how bad you needed him.

“fuck,” he mumbles between kisses and you hum in response, not daring to pull away when it feels so good. “can’t stop thinking about you.”

“yoongi...” you whine while one of yoongi’s hands goes up and down your thigh softly, too softly compared to the way he’s kissing you.

“wanted you so fucking bad.” yoongi sighs and starts kissing down your jaw towards your neck.

“fuck,” a little breathy chuckle slips out of your mouth when you realize something. “this fucking counter again.”

yoongi chuckles against your neck and brings his other hand to your other thigh, making you wrap your legs around you before picking you up from the counter.

“what-” you mumble but yoongi gives you just a short kiss to shut you up for a moment as he starts walking out of the kitchen.

“do you wanna get caught again?” he teases and your cheeks burn. you hide your face on the crook of his neck in embarrassment. “i want you to myself today, if that’s okay.” yoongi says and fuck, why does everything he say makes you feel like you’re melting? you’re sure he wasn’t like this before the kitchen incident.

“yeah, that’s okay.” you leave a kiss on his neck that has him letting out a shaky breath as he keeps walking down the corridor.

“good.” he hums and you keep kissing his neck, sucking a little mark on a spot that’s clearly sensitive because as soon as you start sucking on it yoongi’s grip on your thighs tightens significantly.

you’re brought back to reality and forced to stop kissing on his neck when yoongi is suddenly placing you down on a bed, his bed. the covers are extremely soft, that’s the first thing you notice, and the mattress seems super comfortable. in that moment you can understand why yoongi stays in bed until late somedays, his bed is so fucking nice.

“there you go,” yoongi says as he hovers over you and positions himself on his knees between your legs, one of his elbows on the mattress right next to your head to support his body. “pretty.” he smiles before kissing you again.

“you should’ve...” you start between kisses, your hands going up to his long hair while his free hand goes down to your waist. “should’ve talked to me before.”

“could tell you the same.” he replies and stops kissing your lips to go a little lower, kissing your neck again.

“wait.” you squirm under him and try to push him away.

yoongi quickly pulls away, looking down at you with worried eyes. “everything okay?” he asks.

“yeah,” you nod. “just wanna be on top.” you try to push him again and he chuckles.

“okay,” yoongi hums and he suddenly grabs you by your thighs and turns the both of you around so that you’re on top. “good?” he asks, staying sat up with you on his lap.

“yeah.” you smile as you place your hands on his shoulders.

“are you trying to get all dominant on me now?” he teases while his hands find their way under your shirt.

you don’t know what gives you the courage for it but you smirk back. “and what if i was?”

yoongi snorts.

“what?” you frown, clearly offended by his response.

“nothing...” he says but you can see how he’s trying to hold back a smile.

“just so you know, i’m a good dom.”

and it’s not a lie. you’ve been dominant in bed quite many times before, it’s not like it’s your preference but you definitely have. you’re confident even if something inside of you tells you there’s no way you’re gonna be able to dom him, your pride is bigger than that right now because his stupid smirk is making you want to shut him up.

“mh... i’m sure you are.” yoongi speaks with that stupid smirk.

“yoongi.” you whine in protest and feel stupid right after because his smirk only grows bigger.

“you’re such a cute little dom.” he brings his hand to your face and drags his thumb across your lower lip, making you realize you’re pouting.

“you’re pissing me off,” you shake him up a little with your hands on his shoulders. “i can dom you.”

“i had you blabbering like a little bitch the other day and i hadn’t even touched you yet.” yoongi says and gives your waist a light squeeze that makes you flinch.

“it was jungkook,” you say, just because he’s actually getting to you and you need a distraction. “he was the one fucking me.” you clarify and he cocks an eyebrow.

“you think jungkook was the dominant one that night?” he asks. “he completely shut down when i got there.”

you gulp when you remember how jungkook’s dominant demeanor completely disappeared as soon as yoongi walked in the kitchen that night, how he clearly obeyed to everything yoongi told him. and it is so fucking hot. by this point your panties must be ruined, you can’t help but squirm uncomfortably on top of him.

yoongi seems to notice your problem because he looks down at where your bodies are together and moves his hands down to your hips, pulling you closer to him so that you’re sat exactly on top of his crotch. a sigh escapes your mouth before you can stop it when you feel how hard he is under you.

“i bet i can make you cry before you can even begin to try dominating me.” he hums and nuzzles into your neck, making you squirm just with the feeling of his nose on your skin.

“you just caught me in a bad time that night,” you mumble. and you’re kinda right, you were so desperate that night, you’re sure you could’ve done a lot better if your desperation hadn’t been clouding your mind. “don’t be so confident.”

“i went so fucking easy on you both that night,” yoongi says against your skin like it’s a warning. “actually, i didn’t do anything and you two were doing everything i said like you were under a spell.”

“i...” your mind goes blank when he runs his tongue down your neck.

“you should’ve seen your face,” yoongi continues, leaving little kisses down the wet stripe on your neck. “you were fucked out, you looked dumb.” he chuckles a little and you should feel offended but you only moan in response when he bites on your neck, not enough to hurt but enough to get a reaction from you.

“yoongi-”

“it’s okay baby,” he hums, his breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck and making goosebumps erupt all over your body. “i would love nothing more than to fuck you dumb.”

“that’s-” you surpress the moan that’s threatening to come out of your mouth when yoongi places his hands on your hips and pulls you closer to him just to grind against his clothed crotch. “that’s not the way you talk about a lady.” you manage to say even though your voice breaks halfway through. yoongi has obviously noticed because a dark chuckle hits your neck again.

“oh, i know,” he says. you can definitely feel how your panties are sticking to your pussy now. “but you’re not a lady, you’re just a slut.”

a loud moan slips out of your mouth when he makes you grind your hips again and the friction between you feels just right. “yoongi...” you hold on tight to his shoulders as his lips make their way up to whisper in your ear.

“right?”

“yoongi, i-” by this time your hips are moving on their own, chasing that delicious friction agaist his crotch.

“aren’t you my pretty slut?” the gentle bite to your earlobe does it for you.

you don’t remember the last time you needed someone this bad. well, maybe jungkook a couple of weeks ago, but somehow this feels different. your body is screaming for him, something inside you has been begging you to let go of that pride and just give into him since you kissed.

“please.” you say and feel stupid right after because you’ve already given up and because you don’t know what you’re asking for.

“oh, how i love to hear you say that word.” yoongi smiles wide at you and you can’t help but continue grinding your hips against him.

“fuck, yoongi i-”

“mh, i know.” he gives you a sympathetic nod and looks down at how you’re working your hips. “look at you,” he says and gently slaps your hip. “already begging for it like the slut you are.”

you try to speak but the only sound coming out of your mouth is another pathetic whimper as you keep chasing that friction.

“should i just let you do this until you cum?” yoongi asks, you instantly shake your head.

“no,” you slide your hands down his arms until you’re wrapping them around his wrists. “touch me.”

“i’m touching you.” he fakes a confused expression as he squeezes your hips just a little. you just know he’s having so much fun with this.

“yoongi, you know what i mean,” you grind against him one last time before he lets out a chuckle. “what?” and you almost can’t even recognize your voice anymore from how desperate and whiny you sound, but you know he likes it.

“i find it funny how you were trying to go all dominant and shit just a minute ago and now you’re begging like a slut.”

you don’t say anything in response, you only bite your lip to hold back a sound because you’ve never really enjoyed being talked to like this in bed but now you might be discovering something new about yourself because yoongi makes it so hot.

he smirks at your lack of response and turns the both of you again, making you lay down on your back with him between your legs. and you enjoyed being on top of him for a moment but you can’t lie and say you don’t like this position as well.

“i would love to take my time with you, but i wanna see that pretty pussy again,” yoongi says, completely unaware of how you blush at his words because he’s focused on pulling your sweatpants down your thighs. “maybe i’ll make it longer next time, but i’ve been waiting for two weeks.”

next time. the knowledge that he’s already thinking about a next time makes you a little giddy but you don’t make a comment about it.

you kick your sweatpants off when yoongi pulls them past your ankles and let then fall on the floor.

yoongi makes a disapproving soud when you bend your legs and close them, hiding from him. “c’mon, be good and open those pretty legs for me.” he puts a hand on one of your ankles, trying to make you stretch your legs.

you give in so easily, spreading your legs enough for him to get between them again. his hands go to your thighs, rubbing up and down slowly and leaving goosebumps behind.

but he’s not looking at you yet. well, he is looking at you, he’s looking at you with a pretty smirk but he’s not looking where you want him to look. that alone makes you buck your hips up in an attempt to make him look down. the gesture makes yoongi break in a chuckle but he still doesn’t give you what you want, leaning down and supporting his weight on his elbow next to your head. then he gives you a kiss that leaves you speechless instead.

“what?” you mumble in confusion.

“you’re so cute when you’re horny.” yoongi gives you a smile that successfully distracts you from his hand going up your thigh.

you open your mouth to reply but the only thing that comes out is a loud moan when you suddenly feel yoongi’s hand cupping your pussy over your panties.

“have you been this wet all this time?” yoongi says and your brain can’t even come up with an answer because his fingers start running up and down your clothed folds.

you’re so wet that the feeling of the soaked fabric of your panties against your pussy makes you blush in embarrassment, but it feels so good to finally be touched that you can’t help the sounds coming out of your mouth.

“what a dirty girl,” yoongi hums as your hips buck a little to meet the movements of his hand. “so wet just because of some kissing and some grinding?” he teases you with a chuckle.

“please, take my panties off.” you beg. you need his fingers on you.

“only because you said please.”

he partially listens to you because he doesn’t really take them off but instead pushes them to the side, which you find ten times hotter.

a loud moan slips out of your mouth when his fingers finally touch you with nothing in between. your hand twitches with the urge to cover your mouth but you know yoongi won’t like that so you settle with gripping at the sheets of his bed instead.

“haven’t stopped thinking about this pussy,” yoongi mumbles and gives it a little slap that makes you squeak in surprise. “cute.” he grins and kisses you once again.

you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him to make sure he doesn’t pull away. he swallows all of your moans when he easily slips one of his fingers inside you and starts fucking you with it before quickly adding another one, you’re so wet that his fingers slide in so well.

“mhh… that’s a good pussy.” yoongi hums between kisses and you clench around his fingers.

his fingers feel so good, you can’t wait for his cock.

you moan his name, making him smile against your mouth. “does that feel good?”

“yeah.” you whine and he curls his fingers inside you, easily finding that spot. “fuck, right there…”

it feels so good that you almost forgot you don’t live alone. almost. you remember because you’re suddenly being surprised by the sound of the apartment door opening and closing.

jungkook is back home.

“yoongi,” you mumble against his lips like a warning but he only hums and starts fingering you faster. “fuck... yoon- yoongi, stop.”

“do you really want me to stop?” yoongi breaks away from the kiss with the hottest smirk on his face.

you don’t know what to answer. well, you know you don’t want him to stop, but jungkook is home now and you are loud enough for him to hear.

“yoon...” you try but nothing else comes out when he slips a third finger.

“that’s right,” he smiles and leaves a sweet kiss on your jaw as he keeps finger fucking you at a pace that’s driving you crazy. “say my name.”

you do. you say his name and he slips his fingers out just to give your pussy another spank that makes your whole body twitch under him.

“louder.” yoongi says as he rubs his fingers over your folds to ease the pain from the spank.

you say his name louder, but just a little because you know jungkook must be placing the groceries in the kitchen right now, he could hear you if you said it louder.

but jungkook hearing you must be exactly what yoongi wants because he gives you another spank that has you moaning his name way too loud. yoongi smiles at the sound.

“that’s a good slut.” he praises, his breath hitting your ear, and starts rubbing your pussy with his fingers from side to side so fast that you don’t know what to do with your body, your hips twitching and your cheeks reddening at the wet sound of his hand against your pussy.

god, you’re so wet.

“please…” you beg through a sound that’s close to a sob and it makes yoongi stop the movements of his hand and straighten up a little to look down at you, sitting back on his feet under him.

 “please what?” he finally gives your pussy a break but you miss his hand, the one he’s bringing to his mouth right now. “messy fucking girl, i always have to clean you up, right?”

you hold your breath and your pussy throbs when he slips two of his wet fingers in his mouth and hums like it is the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted.

“yoongi please.” you repeat even if you don’t know what you’re asking.

“is that the only word you know how to say now?” yoongi asks, not really paying attention to you but rather to cleaning your juices off his fingers. “i won’t know what you want if you don’t tell me.”

your desperation gives you the courage to sit up, your legs a little bent up on each side of yoongi, and grab at the hem of his shirt, tugging it up until it’s coming off. you throw it on the floor and take the chance to run your hands down his chest, feeling the hot skin under your fingers and getting so lost in it that the words come out of your mouth easily.

“i want your cock.” you blurt out, looking up at him with your best puppy eyes.

“you want it?” yoongi says with that condescending tone again, like he’s talking to a dumb person.

fuck, you want him so bad.

you just nod in reply. he hums and then gets up on his knees, getting so close to you with how you’re sitting. “then pull it out.”

you hold your breath for a second. “can i?”

“of course you can.”

you don’t think about it twice. you hook your fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants again and tug them down, biting your lip at the sight of the outline of his hard cock under the fabric of his boxers.

he’s so big. and you want him so bad.

“c’mon,” yoongi urges you to do something and you finally tug down at his boxers. “there you go.”

you notice two things when you’ve pulled his boxers down to his thighs.

first one, he’s definitely big.

second one, yoongi has a piercing on his dick. right on the underside, under his tip, a barbell on his frenulum.

you have to bite back a moan at how hot you find it and yoongi seems to notice your reaction because he chuckles. “you’ve never seen one?” he says with a teasing tone and you look up at his face.

“can i…” you shift uncomfortably under him because you need your panties off.

“can you what?” you hold your breath when he brings a hand down to his cock, stroking it slowly. he is so close to you in the position you are right now.

“can i suck you off?” you blurt out before you can even worry about looking desperate.

you don’t miss the way he squeezes on the base of his cock as soon as you let the words out, but he shakes his head.

you’re about to complain when yoongi speaks up again. “i would love to fuck that pretty mouth, but i need to fuck that pussy first.” he nods down at your body.

you lean back, supporting yourself against your elbows, and look at him with puppy eyes now that you know they seem to work on him. “then come fuck it.” you know you’re pouting but you couldn’t care less right now. you need him so bad.

“it will be my pleasure,” he grins but then looks down at your chest. “but take that shirt of first.”

you obey instantly and take it off in a second, throwing it somewhere on the bedroom floor and finally laying down on your back. you don’t miss yoongi’s gaze on your bare chest.

“stop doing that.” you throw one arm over your eyes not to see the way he’s devouring you with his eyes.

“i’m not doing anything.”

“you’re looking.”

“am i supposed to look somewhere else?” he responds and you chuckle a little.

“no, but- ah!” a moan escapes your mouth when you feel yoongi’s mouth on one of your nipples. you unconsciously slap your hand over your mouth to muffle any other noise slipping out of it, but yoongi is quickly grabbing your wrist and pushing your arm away.

“none of that shit,” he says before starting to litter kisses all over your chest. your back arches a little when he flicks his tongue on your other nipple and he chuckles in response. “so cute.”

“just fuck me already.” you beg, feeling yourself getting even more wet each second.

“someone’s eager to get fucked, huh?” yoongi straightens up again and wraps his hand around his cock again, stroking it lazily like before. you can’t look away.

then all of the brattiness you have in you slips out your mouth. “no, i just think you’re making me wait longer because you don’t know what to do with that.” you nod towards his cock.

yoongi’s smile is gone when you look back at his face and you know you’re in trouble.

“i wanted to look at your face while i fucked you,” he starts and you can already sense a but coming. “but i want you on all fours now.” you open your mouth to say something but he shakes his head and speaks again. “turn around before you piss me off again.” he talks with such a low voice that you can’t deny him anything.

you turn around and get up on your hands and knees, though your breath hitches when he places a hand on your back and pushes down for you to get down on your elbows, you squish your cheek on his pillow.

yoongi curses behind you and you can sense he’s looking down at your exposed pussy. the reaction gives you the courage to arch your back, pressing your chest to the mattress and spreading your legs a little, just enough for him to see you better.

“if you tell me i can’t fuck you raw i’m gonna be mad.” he curses and you giggle.

“you can do it.”

“really?” yoongi asks. you appreciate that he’s making sure.

“yes, i let jungkook fuck me raw, you should do it too.” you respond and move your ass a little. “c’mon, i’m waiting.”

and you really thought he was gonna make you wait a little more, that’s why you gasp in surprise when yoongi rubs the tip of his cock through your folds.

“oh my god…” you mumble. “please, don’t tease.” you beg when he keeps rubbing it up and down. you can actually feel the piercing and you might go crazy.

“i don’t know, since you said i don’t know what to do with my cock maybe i shouldn’t give it to you.” yoongi says with a low chuckle as he places one of his hands on your hip.

“no, please.” you whine into the pillow, feeling like you could actually cry if he doesn’t slip it in right now.

“look at you, you haven’t stopped saying please since i first touched you.” he presses his tip to your clit and rubs it just right before pulling away and making you whine again.

“i swear to god if you don’t-” a loud moan escapes your mouth when you feel him slip in slowly. “oh fuck…” you mumble and bury your face on the pillow. but yoongi doesn’t seem to like that.

he’s suddenly threading his fingers through your hair so gently but then he tugs hard to lift your head from the pillow as he bottoms out. “wanna hear you.” he says.

“so good.” you manage to say as you support your upper body on your elbows so that the hair pulling doesn’t hurt a lot, just the necessary.

“yeah?” yoongi hums as he starts to pull out just as slowly as he slipped in.

“big…” you sigh and hear a hint of another chuckle before he slips in again.

“you’re so fucking tight, holy shit,” he groans and you can feel his hand on your hair faltering for a second so you clench around him to get a reaction. “oh fuck.” he moans and he sounds so hot that you push your ass back against him to make him bottom out again.

“you feel so good.” you whine and he finally lets go of your hair but you rest your head on your side for him to hear you.

“can i move?” yoongi asks, both hands on your hips now.

“yes please.” you beg.

and he’s not gentle, he fucks you hard right from the start. you can actually feel the cold piercing inside of you and you think you might go crazy. the sound of skin against skin the only thing echoing inside the room because it feels so good that no sound comes out of your mouth.

yoongi doesn’t like that. he gives your ass a hard spank as he bottoms out again and stays there.

“if i don’t hear you i’ll stop,” he warns you and you try to move your hips for him to start moving again, but his hard grip on them doesn’t let you. “did you understand?”

“yes.” you whine and another moan slips out of your mouth when he spanks you again.

“good slut.”

you think you’re gonna cry when he starts fucking you again. this time you allow yourself to let all the sounds out, not caring about how loud you are.

“yoongi...” your voice breaks when he starts hitting that sweet spot that makes your legs shake. your knees hurt but it feels so good you don’t want to change positions.

you’re so fucked out already, you wouldn’t be so gone at this point with anyone else, but somehow it feels different with yoongi.

“that feels good?” yoongi hums and you feel a little bit of pride at how broken his voice sounds too.

“yes!” you moan. “please, don’t stop… please.”

“fuck,” he truly seems to like to hear you beg. “it’s like this pussy was made for me.” and he won’t stop hitting that spot, you’re so fucking close.

“yours.” you mumble, completely fucked out, and clench when you hear him chuckle at the word.

“mine?” he teases, slowing down his thrusts.

you nod uncomfortably against the pillow and cry out when yoongi suddenly pulls out. “no, please…” you beg, desperately pushing your ass back for him to keep fucking you.

“no, turn around.” yoongi says and you have half a mind to obey, turning around on the bed and finally laying on your back with a relief sigh.

you’re quick to wrap your legs around him to push him closer. “please, yoongi, fuck me.” all shame is gone, you need him so bad.

“slut wants my cock?”

you nod.

“then say it.”

“i want your cock.” you bite your lip when he starts rubbing his tip through your folds again.

“who wants my cock?” yoongi asks, acting dumb. you want to cry.

“me.” you sigh, bucking your hips up to grind against his cock.

“who?” yoongi asks again and you get it now.

“your slut.” you answer. yoongi smirks proudly.

“who’s cock do you want?”

god. you will go insane at this point.

“yours.”

“mh, but that’s not enough for you, right?” he hums, looking down at where his cock is rubbing against you. your breath hitches when your dizzy mind is able to get what he means.

“i-”

“one cock is not enough for your, right?”

“yoongi…”

“you got fucked by one of your roommates two weeks ago and now you’re letting your other roommate fuck you too?” yoongi circles the tip of his cock on your clit, the piercing making it feel so good youe eyes roll back. “do you spread your legs for anyone who has a cock?”

“n- no…” you blush, the humilliating words making you feel so good somehow.

“no? just for us?” yoongi asks and leans down a little, the hand he was using to hold the base of his cock wrapping around your neck now.

“yes,” you sigh. everything feels so hot. “just for you.”

“yeah?” he hums. fuck, he’s so hot.

you try to nod but his hand around your neck squeezes a little. “fuck…” you moan, your pussy throbbing now.

“i knew you would like this, dirty girl,” yoongi chuckles and gives your neck another light squeeze as he starts slipping his cock into you again. “that’s a good slut.” he groans as you clench around him again.

yoongi keeps his hand around your neck as he starts fucking you, squeezing just lightly. and he knows what he’s doing, because the second he lets go you let out the loudest moan you’ve ever made. your hand flies to your mouth in embarrassment but yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls it over your head, pinning it right there.

“i wanna fucking hear you.” he says, hips hitting against the back of your thighs so hard as he fucks you at a brutal pace.

“jung- jungkook is home…” you mutter as a warning but he only laughs.

“is that an inconvenient now?” he gives you a deep thrust that makes your eyes roll back. “let him hear. should i ask him to come here too?”

“fuck.” you’re so close, if he keeps talking like that you’re gonna cum.

“i’m sure he’s listening from his room right now,” yoongi says, his thrusts hitting just right, you’re sure you’re creaming his cock by this point. “do you think he’s touching himself as he listens to you?”

“oh my god…” your hand twitches with the urge to cover your mouth again but he keeps it pinned to the mattress over your head, your other hand grips at the sheets tightly.

“i’m sure he wishes he was in my place right now.” he looks down at how your boobs bounce from the thrusts and you’re sure your cheeks are tomato red.

“so close...” you moan, your legs trembling around him.

“i start talking about jungkook and now you’re gonna cum?” yoongi teases, earning another whine from you. “wow, one cock is really not enough for you, isn’t it…”

“yoongi!” you squeak when you feel his free hand on your pussy, he starts rubbing circles on your clit.

“gonna cum around my cock?”

“yes! yes, please!” you’re so fucking loud now but you couldn’t care less.

“you want him to hear you, huh?” yoongi chuckles.

“i’m g- gonna cum…” you mumble, the words almost not coming out.

“say his name,” yoongi says and you open your eyes in shock, pussy clenching around him. “say his name or you’re not coming.” he warns as he slows down his thrusts.

“yoongi, no…” you cry out.

“that’s not his name.” yoongi gives your clit a little lap that makes your body twitch.

“ju… jungkook.” you try and blush right after. it feels so wrong to moan someone else’s name in bed, you know yoongi wants it but it makes you feel so dirty. he wants you to feel like that.

“louder, baby.” he says and the contrast between that petname and the names he was calling you before makes you feel like you’re gonna pass out.

“jungkook!” you finally say, making yoongi grin down at you.

“that’s it, say it again.” he says and resumes the pace he was fucking you with before.

“jungkook!” you moan louder and yoongi’s fingers on your clit is faster. “fuck! oh my- ah! gonna cum!”

“good slut,” yoongi hums. “c’mon, cum for us.”

us.

the stupid word and its implications make you clench impossibly tight around him as the craziest shock waves run through your whole body. your vision goes blurry so you close your eyes while your body goes limp, completely exhausted as you feel yoongi slipping out.

you’re about to complain when you open your eyes and see him stroking his cock and moaning as white stripes of cum land on your sweaty chest.

“oh my god…” you sigh and throw one of your arms over your eyes.

you hum when you feel yoongi’s hand on your cheek. “are you okay?” he speaks so softly you could’ve sworn he’s not the guy who just fucked you.

“yeah.” you reply and something makes you start giggling lazily.

“what are you laughing about now?” yoongi says but yo can hear a smile in his voice.

“i can’t believe that happened.” you mumble and put your arm down to look at him.

“well, it happened.” he leans down and gives your lips a sweet kiss, then he gets down from the bed.

you watch him put his sweatpants and grab a towel from one of the drawers on his closet as your chest keeps going up and down, trying to get your breathing back to normal.

“seriously, are you okay?” he asks when he comes back to bed and sits down next to you, cleaning his cum from your stomach.

“yeah, just… a little sore,” you chuckle, your cheeks burning from how gentle he’s suddenly being with you. “i don’t know if i’m gonna be able to get up.”

“you can stay here for as long as you want.” he says softly and folds the towel, throwing it on a basket where you suppose he puts his dirty clothes.

“i would stay here all day,” you admit. “but i have work and i have to eat first.”

“i can prepare a bath for you,” yoongi says and your heart does something weird in your chest. “for your sore muscles.” he rubs a hand up and down your bare thigh.

“can you do that?” you look at him with big eyes.

“of course i can.”

“how can you be so sweet after everything you just did to me?” you ask and he chuckles, leaning down to kiss you again.

“aftercare is important, i take that really seriously.”

“okay,” you smile sweetly at him. “then go prepare that bath.”

he snorts. “brat.” but he stands up again and walks out of the room, closing the door after.

you stay there for a minute, staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything you just did in this bed. and you feel kinda good and giddy about it until you remember about jungkook.

you moaned his name. you yelled his name. and he for sure heard you. you shake the thoughts away from your head and decide to get up from bed. you need that bath.

your body begs you to lay down when you manage to stand up, your legs are sore and your whole body is so weak that you almost fall down when you grab yoongi’s shirt from the floor. you hum pleasantly when you put the shirt on and notice it covers you perfectly, yoongi always wears big clothes.

your trembling legs guide you out of the room and the smell of food cooking in the kitchen hits your nose and almost makes you moan at how hungry you are, jungkook must be cooking lunch right now. since he must be in the kitchen you take the chance to run to the bathroom, where yoongi is preparing your bath. but you’re proved wrong when you collapse against a hard chest in the middle of the corridor.

jungkook is looking down at you with something you can’t really read in his eyes. he just walked out of his room, he had probably left the food cooking in the kitchen.

“hi!” you say like nothing ever happened because you’re still so embarrassed, your cheeks burning again.

“hey.” jungkook mumbles and separates from you, motioning to walk past you and back to the kitchen.

you are walking past him and to the bathroom when he says your name, making you turn to him. “yes?”

“next time just come to my room instead of thinking about me when you’re with him.”

you freeze. you literally don’t know what to say.

you open your mouth to try and say something, probably something stupid, when yoongi appears right behind you.

“i think you should just join us next time.” he says and the smug expression on jungkook’s face completely disappears. he turns around and walks inside the kitchen again.

your shoulders drop in disappointment because the reaction kind of felt like a rejection but yoongi places his hand on your shoulder.

“he will come around,” he tells you. “he’s just stubborn.”

“yeah…” you mumble and turn around to follow him into the bathroom.

“you really want him, huh?” yoongi teases you but you completely ignore him, standing in front of the mirror and cringing at how messy you look. “my shirt looks good on you.” he adds, standing behind you.

a little smirk grows on your face as you look at him in the mirror. “you fuck me once and you’re already in love with me?” you tease.

“wow, look at how bratty that mouth is,” yoongi mumbles, crossing his arms against his chest. “but then you barely speak a word when you’re getting fucked.” that shuts your mouth completely and he looks proud of it.

“shut up…” you mumble and turn around to push him out of the bathroom. “get out, i wanna enjoy my bath.”

yoongi just chuckles to himself before turning around and leaving. you only notice the dumb smile on your face when you look at yourself in the mirror again.

yoongi has you smiling like that. and you also remember jungkook, how he basically told you to have sex with him again and the invitation actually sparked something inside of you.

you were just roommates a month ago but now you’re starting a dangerous game with the both of them. the thing is that it feels good, you can only hope it turns out alright.

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A/N: askssjdnandkdjas i hope you liked this chapter, please let me know your thoughts !!! it helps a lot to have feedback <3 i'm obviously makind this a series so pls look forward for the next chapter :) 💖 thank you all for reading ! have a nice day babes

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TAGLIST: @m4gg13-g @kooksbunnnn @baechugff @danielle143 @signingsongbird @dontcallmeelle @fancy-cloud @melakrish

#bts imagines #bts x reader #bts reactions #bts fanfic #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi imagine #yoongi reaction #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts smut #bangtan x reader #bangtan reactions #bangtan fanfic #bangtan fic #self fulfillment needs #basic needs 2 #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #fanfic #suga fic #suga imagine #suga smut #suga x reader #bts x y/n #jungkook x y/n #yoongi x y/n

[scarletnwidow]

Destroyed

Part 5

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: cussing, cringe moments, possible too much information lol

A/N: HOOOLY SHIIII- I can't believe it took me two years to update this HAHAHAHHA anybody still with me? jk I have no idea how this will end now, I just keep on writing whatever comes to mind haha so bear with me a little more? :")

Summary: You always thought that the best way to get revenge is to let them see you’re happy. You also thought that the best way to move on is to convince yourself that you’re okay until you no longer need any more convincing. You’re about to find out how effective it was.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

You’ve never felt the need to be angry at something for the pain of your family’s death, because you only had yourself. 

What happens now that you finally have someone else to blame? 

*****

“...an ancient hero in the flesh.” 

The moment Wanda said those words aloud, the more it sounds surreal. There was a stunned silence after, broken only by an incredulous laugh by a god himself. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m not the only one who thinks this is absurd, right?” Thor couldn’t keep himself from snorting, everything sounds stupid and impossible.

When everyone just stared at him, his smile faded and his jaw clenched, “That is impossible! Mortals carrying the blood of the gods are a myth.” 

“We thought the same thing about you, Thor: God of Thunder, War, and Fertility. But look where we are,” Tony said sarcastically, “who’s to say the idiotic, egotistical greek gods don’t exist like you? Or every other textbook mythology there is, on that matter,” he continued. 

“I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be calling them idiotic in case...you know,” Bruce mumbled. 

“Well, you have a fellow Avenger as proof. And now I think I’ve finally removed impossible from my vocabulary,” Fury responded. 

Wanda wasted no time in stepping up in front of him, “How do you know all this anyway? Y/N’s powers are quite similar to mine, how do you know this is that?” She questioned, pointing at the folder resting on Natasha’s hands. 

“And why didn’t we know about all these experiments in the first place? Where did you get these files? This weren’t on the place we raided,” the redhead finally allowed herself to speak. Her brain is currently trying to make sense with too much information all at once, she didn’t even know where to start. 

“You of all people should know that in a mission, there will always be another mission to finish, Romanoff,” Fury spatted. Of course, Natasha is well aware. She was always the one given a different mission by Fury during missions. 

“We know from the start about their goal, but since obviously, it all sounds beyond-the-universe-ridiculous, we thought it was just another plot of Hydra. But then SHIELD caught wind of another location thousands of miles from our initial lead. The tip says it’s where they perfected their process, and they were currently proceeding with the first subject just as you guys were headed to the other place,” he continued. 

“One thing we know for sure, Y/N’s in a vulnerable state right now. Emotions are very tricky, especially hers. It also doesn’t help that it’s what triggered her abilities,” Maria chimed in. 

The redhead looked back at the folder in her hands; she really couldn’t wrap her mind around all this. Just an hour ago you were in her arms, nothing about you or your features seem any different, so how? 

She internally slapped herself for letting you go. This was a lot to process for them, and they were just your friends, your family; what more if you would find this out about yourself? 

The redhead absentmindedly turned to the next page, the wheels of her brain still whirring on her head. Her eyes accidentally landed on the photos in front of her, and she wished she should’ve just closed it. 

Her eyes widened and she felt a lump form in her throat, her gaze darting to the short description above the photos. 

Eris Labs Main Facility: Subject Threats Successfully Eliminated, All Research Data Collected

In front her were photos of a freshly destroyed two-story building, or at least what was left of it. 

“W-We did this?” she looked up at Fury, her voice hoarse. Fury frowned at her before glancing down at what she was pertaining to, he sighed and gave her a single nod. 

Natasha didn’t know whether or not she should be relieved she weren’t able to convince you more to come back with her. But, she knew she shouldn’t have left you alone. 

****

You didn’t know how much longer you stayed seated at the ground. You just spent the rest of the afternoon staring at the oblivion after Natasha reluctantly left you behind. When you finally came to your senses, you knew the sun will set in about an hour or so. 

You’ve spent too much time debating whether or not you should explore the wreckage that you just totally zoned-out in your spot. You took a deep breath before walking up to the site. 

You didn’t deny to yourself that you’re nervous; you haven’t been here for six years. You never even bothered to sit and remember what exactly happened. You didn’t think there was a point, exploring the place where you almost got killed wouldn’t bring your family back. Besides, you knew the Avengers took care of everything, so there wouldn’t be anything left for you to delve in. 

You still think there was no point in finding out what this place was, after all, it was completely trashed so you were sure you wouldn’t find anything. 

The universe decided to prove you wrong once again. 

You found yourself walking towards the space where you found your sister bleeding to her death. The memory of how you caught her eyes while you were still under some rubbles flowed through your mind as you stared at the empty space. There were still some traces of dried blood even after all these years, and you felt like your ribs are squeezing your heart. 

A strangled sob came out from your lips as you forced yourself to look away. You thought you’ve already moved on; it’s been six years! Turns out, you didn’t spend those years moving on; you spent all those years convincing yourself that you’ve moved on. 

After all, you remember that day was busy with people fumbling around, and finding out you’re the sole survivor hits a lot than you could admit. 

You tried to calm yourself, remembering the breathing exercise you invented the first few months of being the last person carrying your family’s name. When the tight in your chest subsides, you look around once more before walking deeper around the fallen debris. 

You immediately looked away when you caught sight of a familiar boulder at the corner of the room. You managed to steady your breath, but your tears kept flowing freely even when you wipe your cheeks. When you found your courage to approach, you only noticed that the boulder had been moved. 

You frowned, that’s when you only realize that you didn’t know where the bodies of your family were, of everyone’s actually. How did you not worry about your family’s bodies all those years ago? How did you not think of giving them a proper burial? Where were they now? The realization only made you feel worse.

You snapped out of your self-disgust party when you noticed something that’s out-of-place. Something that definitely wasn’t supposed be there. 

*****

“She can’t know about all this,” Natasha said as she abruptly closed the folder with trembling hands and gripped it tight, as if the entire thing would destroy the world if opened once again. 

Everyone in the room stared at her. She looked at each of them incredulously as if she’s the only one who sees the severity of the situation. 

“I-I know this place. This…this is where she came from. This is where I just came from! Where her parents died; where she watched her sister bled to death. If she found out SHIELD was the one who destroyed the place—the reason they were gone,” her voice cracked as she took another shaky breath. 

The team shifted in their seats. The air heavy with uncertainty and uneasiness about the whole ordeal. The fact about your existence is already confusing enough, the thing about SHIELD having a part with you becoming an orphan adds to the mix of emotions. 

They know now that emotions are a vital factor in your powers, and it’s starting to dawn on the team that you aren’t probably ready to know the truth yet. 

It hurts Natasha to think that she has to keep something from you. You’ve suffered enough from not knowing the truth, thanks to your relationship with Wanda.

After a few more minutes of tense silence, Tony let out a humorless laugh. He gestured to the folder clutched in Natasha’s hand like he can’t believe something like that exists.

“H-How…how is even all this possible? What the hell is Eris working on? What the hell is Y/N?” 

If looks could kill, Tony earned two equally lethal glares from a redhead and a brunette. Natasha was about to retort when Wanda was suddenly at Tony’s side clutching his shoulder. 

“Do not talk about her like that,” Wanda said, with her other hand raised up in the air threateningly. 

This startled everyone, Steve rushed to Wanda’s side and gently held her back. Tony sighed and lifted his arms in defeat. “I’m sorry, but I know all of us wants to know how we happen to have a friend who descended from Greek gods,” he said as he looked at Fury and Maria, his gaze expectant. 

“So are the Avengers currently looking at our very own Wonder Woman?” Tony added which made everyone give out an amused snort, lessening the tension in the air and made everybody turned to look at the two in front as well. 

Maria rolled her eyes but she allowed herself an amused smirk. “No, Tony, she is not like Diana Prince,” she proceeded as she looked at Natasha and gestured to the folder. “May I?” Maria opened the folder and took a few moments shifting through the pages before letting out a satisfied hum as she finds what she’s looking for. 

She glanced at Fury to her side, silently asking for permission. He gave her a nod before taking a seat for himself. 

She took a deep breath before speaking. “Y/N isn’t descended from the gods. She has the blood of Helen herself,” Maria paused. Seeing that the team just stared at her dumbfounded, she continued, “Of course, she’s not an actual descendant but that’s exactly what Eris was working on. Extracting biological components from ancient ruins and battlegrounds hoping to bioengineer Helen’s blood and create a haptandra— the hand of war. It’s—“

“I’m sorry, wait, hold up,” Bruce said, raising his arm while looking around at his teammates then back to Maria. “When you say Helen, you don’t mean Helen of Troy, is it?” This made him earn a small smile from Maria. 

“Yes, I meant Helen of Troy.” The team made another round of uneasy shifting in their seats and some grumbling of how this all sounds stupid. 

“I suggest you let her finish first before you all decide how crazy this is. Because it gets even crazier.” Fury stated a little louder to get everyone’s attention. It did, and they all turn back to Maria. 

“You all know Helen’s story, right? How a 10-year war raged on because of her? Apparently, that’s due to her bloodline. Something about being sired by Nemesis so wherever she goes, there will be strife of some kind,” A hand was raised in the air before Maria can continue, “But the Trojan War was caused by Helen’s beauty is it not?” the interruption earned a couple of bewildered looks aimed at the owner, due to him being a machine. 

Vision noticed this and if toasters could blush, he definitely does. “Human mythology fascinates me,” he mumbles as he puts his hand down.  

“Some books and interpretations of the story whatnots believed it was because of her beauty,” Maria said, offering him a smile. “Eris, however, discovered ancient texts that state it was never her beauty that caused the war. It was solely her very own blood that caused it; that wherever she goes, war is destined to come. And that… power… continued on to her descendants. The texts that Eris found said it was not confirmed that the power coursed through every woman descended from her, but every major war since her time was linked to her descendants.” 

“Okay, so Helen of Troy, pretty much every mythology book wrong, cursed bloodline, powers due to that cursed blood, and said blood was currently running through Y/N’s veins right now. Yeah, got it.” Tony sarcastically said which made the entire team shift in frustration. 

Too much information going on and it all just sounds fucking crazy. 

Maria just sighed and crossed her arms. “I know, all of this sounds like bullshit. That’s why we never took it seriously when we found these files. We didn’t even know someone survived,” 

“Please tell me this is all the crazy we’ll get today,” Clint said, staring at the opened folder on the table. 

“I’m afraid not,” Fury stood, moving to stand beside Maria. He paused to look at each Avenger in front of him, “Y/N’s abilities are complex and bioengineered, making them both  powerful and can be quite unstable,” he gestured to the folder, “this thing only explains the basics of her powers. And they’re already disturbing as it is. Now, when we’re done, and we face her again, I suggest you to be ready about shitting in your own pants.” 

*****

Three days later.

You never thought you could be any more nervous than you are right now. You've always been a big believer in not going headstrong into something that you have no idea what's in store for you. That was the main reason why you always do your homework before completing a job back when you were still an assassin.

Yet, here you are. Just about to turn off the engine of your boat in the middle of fucking nowhere. You have no idea if you're in the right place, but this is also the most sure you've been at anything.

You almost reached on your pocket for Natasha's widow bites, wanting to reach out to her for help because you have no idea what you're doing. Natasha's been trying to contact you nonstop in the last two days, so is the rest of the team. You even frowned on your phone for a good 5 minutes when you got Wanda's text, wanting you to come back to the compound.

You sighed and took a deep breath. When you turned off the engine, you did your best to scour the ocean around you for anything. Squinting your eyes for anything that might point you to the right place. You just knew you needed to be there, and that you must do this on your own.

*****

Natasha is still trying any means possible to track you down. She and the team had gone to where she left you hoping to find you still there. Probably to also make sense of what happened to you. Of course when they got there, you were long gone. No traces of where you could possibly be. The redhead almost cursed you for figuring out that her widow bites have trackers on them. But of course, from one master assassin to another, she wasn't surprised at all.

Wanda is going out of her mind with worry. Even Vision can't help ease the worry and panic she feels when thinking about where you could be. She can't help but feel guilty because this is technically her fault. She hurt you, yes, but she only did what will make her happy. Who knows that in doing so, she'll be triggering ancient powers inside you? Wanda cannot explain what she was feeling. She still care about you but feels like she has no right because of what she did to you.

Now, Wanda is at your room with Natasha watching her closely. The brunette is trying to use the traces of magic she felt at the Eris Facility to try and find you. When she proposed that idea, of course Natasha was the first one volunteer- no, demanded to go with her. The redhead was still pissed, she hated the idea that Wanda is the closest person they have to finding you. If it were up to her, she wants Wanda as far away from you as possible. But, finding you was more important, so she's willing to put up with her for now. Natasha makes an internal promise that she'll fight the shit out of Wanda after this whole fiasco.

No way she's gonna let you get hurt over Wanda again.

The brunette is starting to feel her head hurt. She wants to find you so bad but she feels a little reluctance when she tries to reach out to the feeling of your powers. She didn't know why, but she still feels the same fear she felt when your powers hit them for the first time during the meeting. Wanda's eyes are now furrowed shut as she tries to reach that power again.

Wanda thinks she must've been grunting with effort because she can hear the faint sounds of Natasha's voice asking what is happening. The brunette sees an elaborate purple mist on her mind, This is it. Y/N is close. She wills her power to reach that power, the same way your power reached out to hers when she first felt it. Unfortunately for her, she feels a reluctance, and it was coming from you. Your power seems to be preventing her from reaching you and finding where you are.

Wanda feels the purple mist is seeming to push her away, it takes great effort from her to try and push through. In her mind, Wanda feels the purple mist started to surround her, and it's closing in. She feels her power flicker, letting her know you were trying to suffocate her. Wanda focused on her desire to find you and make things right as she screams and willed her power to go forward. Until she felt a release in pressure and everything goes black.

*****

Natasha can hear the footsteps of the team rushing to your room. Steve was the first to enter but stopped short at the sight of unconscious Wanda in her arms.

"What happened?!" Steve exclaimed as he tentatively approached. The rest of the team poured in the room with worry on their faces. All of them catching a glimpse of Wanda's power in the room before it completely dissipated.

"S-She just started grunting and screamed. Then there was a burst of her power before she passed out." Natasha said, still clutching Wanda.

"So, did you think she found Y/N?" Fury said as he enters the room.

It was when Wanda moaned and started to stir. Natasha carefully helped her sit up with Steve rubbing her back. "Hey, are you okay? What was that? What happened?" Natasha asked. The brunetter slowly opened her eyes and gave her a weak smile.

"I found her."

*****

It's been nearly four hours of staring into the ocean. You were getting pissed and frustrated with yourself for going here without a plan. You just straight up believed what you found and went to it without question. You sighed, you were desperate for answers and you really couldn't blame yourself for that.

You got up and finally decided to just go back to civilization when you felt a tug in your stomach. You looked down at your hands and see the same purple energy dancing on your fingertips. Only it was stronger and you can feel it more clearly. It was getting more and more intense as you stare at it, you can even hear buzzing around you. Then suddenly, the pressure just dropped and it stopped, but not before bursting a huge amount of purple energy around you.

You closed your eyes. When you opened them again, you felt your jaw dropped to the goddamn floor. A barrier of mist seemed to unfold before your eyes, slowly revealing a gorgeous island like you've never seen before. It has the whitest sand you've ever seen, different species of huge trees that some of them you don't even recognize, plants and flowers in full bloom, and you can even make out the intricate houses in the distance just above the huge island.

This is the most beautiful place you've ever seen, it almost feels magical. But again, maybe it is because 30 seconds ago you were still surrounded by endless ocean. Now, an island is in front of you. You blink a few times, trying to comprehend if what you're seeing is real. When it did not disappear again, your attention was finally caught by a single person standing on the beach. A woman. She is looking at you with a smile you can't place as either a friendly one or a wicked one.

She's wearing a weird but very cool armor that you only see in movies and textbooks. A beautiful bow on her back, and a sword at her side. You stared at her in amazement, there's something about her that's quite familiar to you but you can't figure out what. Your thoughts are interrupted whe she spoke, "I see you finally found my letter. Welcome, Y/N. I've been waiting for you for a long time."

A small envelope sits at the center of where your parents’ bodies should be. You know because of the dried blood scattered on the floor, and it’s directly aligned at the center of the huge boulder. 

Your heart is beating fast as you picked up the small envelope. Its dirty and slight yellowish state lets you know it’s been there for a long time. You stared a little too long at the envelope in your hands, having absolutely no idea what’s inside. You guessed that a card with a message is inside because something tells you you’re supposed to find it a long time ago. 

With shaky hands, you pull out the card inside that proved you right. You noted the worn-out ink of an elegant handwriting. 

43.4130° N, 34.2993° E — find me when you’re ready, Warbringer. 

A/N: For those of you who knows my reference for "Warbringer", kindly let me know in the comments cuz I've been looking for my people to fangirl about it hahahhahahaah

#black widow #female reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff imagine

[star-shapedfruit]

Alright lets talk about THAT scene

Honestly I'm still processing all of it and I don't even know if this is even gonna be coherent or more like

This is long. LETS GO

So it's still very much up in the air as to whether that was really Hiyori or not because of the whole illusion thing that Father has going on in this domain but I'm going to assume this is actually her. It just seems kinda weird for Adachitoka to pull that and then go 'Haha SIKE! Jk!' in the next update. Like, if you're gonna pull a scene like that- you gotta commit to the bit ya know?

So let's assume it's all real. Cord snapped. Kapow. She's dead. Now what? God I wish I fucking knew because Adachitoka LOVE to throw curve balls at us so no matter what we predict it'll probably be wrong 🙃

But I think this might have something to do with it.

Kofuku was the one to originally tie the plaques together (uh oh) but then Ookunushi was the one to place them back and bless them with happiness. So you've got a disaster god dooming them but a god of fortune blessing them. Those poor plaques are so confused lol. But either way, Yato and Hiyori are bonded for life and that's an already pretty strong bond they've got. They're two idiots in love and call it silly and cliché but perhaps it's that bond that will save them.

Hiyori is a special case. She's a half-Ayakashi with ties to both the Near Shore and the Far-Shore and we have no idea what happens to someone like that when they die. Do they lose their memories? Will she forget Yato, Yukine, and everyone else from the Far Shore? Will she forget her name? Again, a tricky one but since she treads the lines between the two worlds and her soulmate is a god, maybe not. It could be possible that she retains all those Far Shore memories and forgets a lot of the Near. She remembers her name but can't recall her parents or friends faces.

(That then brings up the huge elephant in the room of what other shinki will think of that and then start to ponder their own deaths leading to the GGS (the likes of Daikoku, Bishamon and Ebisu's shinki etc) but let's just put that to one side for a minute. I can only have one panic at a time)

I think one thing is for certain at this point though. Noragami won't exactly have a happy ending. Either Hiyori somehow lives and Yato is forced to cut her ties and she forgets everything or she dies and permanently joins the Far Shore, leaving her life, ambitions, friends and family behind. And yeah, neither of those are good. But it looks like they're the only options. Now shoot me for this but I seem to lean towards the latter. I really hate endings where someone forgets the entire journey they just went on and it ends up in a sort of 'it was all a dream' ending. They just make me angry lol. Person has this amazing story and adventure and it ends with a literal I forgor meme? Lame. It's more impactful if both parties suffer 😈 (Why I always get more emotional watching the S2 finale of Doctor Who than the S4 finale. I hate that Donna had to forget everything to save her. But that's a completely different kettle of fish).

I went on a tangent there oops. ANYWAY. If we go down the route that Hiyori is dead then it seems like only two things can happen; she'll become a shinki or she'll be deified. She can't be dead dead I refuse to believe that 😤 Not only because she's my favourite character but I really can't see Adachitoka killing her off for good.

Now call me a hopeless romantic (and my Yatori brain going ding ding ding) but the immediate answer that came to mind when I saw this passage at the end of the chapter is love. Perhaps it'll be Hiyori's love for Yato (and Yukine of course) that will be the Deus ex machina that will ensure that she can come back and that she comes back with her memories in tact, maybe even bypassing the GGS. With that, she may be the secret weapon to destroying Father (did Ebisu and Take even destroy the shrine? Honestly can't remember). Whether that means Yato will name her and the three of them will completely whoop his ass or something else entirely, but I think that post-death Hiyori will be the final piece needed to end Trash Dad and the crisis on earth.

Horrific as it is, It would be fitting for her character to make that sacrifice. She's always been brave and selfless and if she knew that in order to save everyone she loves on earth and the rest of the population by fighting by Yato's side, even if that meant that she had to die, she'd do it.

Yes this isn't the perfect ending but there is no perfect ending. Hiyori has been doomed ever since she jumped in front of that bus.

#noragami #noragami spoilers #fucking hell that was longer than I expected #TLDR some power of love bullshit (affectionate) might save Hiyori in death and enable her to join forces with Yato to save the day #idk man my head still hurts and I don't know how everything is gonna be resolved in a satisfying way #I just really don't want it to end with her losing all her memories and this is the only other way it could go #anyway- *downs a bottle of vodka*

[angelicyoongie]

A few questions! Are jin and jungkook brothers? Does this mean jungkook could learn how to speak human with his MC? Does this mean that each member is a mermaid? Is there a mermaid hierarchy? Society?

Sorry I just rewatched the little mermaid for the third time and then read TOP so my brain is all over the place

Yes but no, haha! They're from the same pod so they consider themselves to be brothers but they don't share the same parents (would be impossible since they're all different colours/species of fish). JK would not be able to learn to speak the human language as he couldn't care less about it. It took Seokjin years to figure it out and JK isn't interested at all (plus, I like to think of SJ as a somewhat more 'advanced' mermaid). As we saw in TCS, Jimin is human! But the rest are mermaids, yes :) Mermaids keep mostly to themselves outside of their pods (so small packs of mermaids if you will) so they don't really have a society/hierarchy.

Lol, you're okay!!

#q: top #q: tcs

[hatsunerandal]

part eight of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 <;- part 2 <- part 3 <- part 4 <- part 5 &lt;- part 6 <- part 7 <- SOUPPP

be nice to me - the front bottoms 'i try to write you poems, but the words they dont make sense' TELL ME LOCKWOOD DIDNT TRY TO WRITE LUCY POETRY BC HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ROMANTIC THEN THREW IT OUT BC HE THOUGH IT WAS BAD. TRY TO TELL ME. TRY I DARE YOU. (it was actually really really good hes just incredibly hard on himself.)

absolutely smitten - dodie hehehehehe fluffy fluff softest fluff toothrotting fluff ow ow ow

my body's made of crushed little stars - mitski you cannot tell me this isnt on lucys breakdown playlist.

i hear a symphony - cody fry lockwood sings it to lucy methinks.

i was an island - john-allison weiss GRRRRRRRRG IK YOU THINK IM GONNA SAY ITS LOCKWOOD BUT ABSOLUTELY YOU ARE RIGHT HAHAHAH. 'but i lowered my sword when you held me and swore youd stay, stay, stay' LOCKWOOD.  kill the director - the wombats this playlist is so lockwood-centric can you tell. hes never really felt anything like what hes felt for lucy before and hes just ??????>@!? and confused and is probably ranting to george about it or something and george is just laughing eating crackers or smth like "haha stupid loverboy." ykwim? - yot club lucy, laying awake in her attic room, wondering how the hell she got here and why shes staying. shes ruined the dynamic they had, hasnt she? shes the only girl in the house she does everything differently. she should leave. (she should Not). arsonists lullaby - hozier surprisingly, this is a lucy song!! its what she felt like having such a strong talent in such a small town and feeling like itd get to her one day. a burning hill - mitski another lucy breakdown song. she likes mitski. its kinda funny tho cuz yk. lockwood and his white button-downs. wet cigarettes - strawberry milk cult lockwood and lucy are avoiding eachother yet again, because theyre. them. but they keep passing eachother in the kitchen and other places in the house, stealing glances and all that. this song just has that vibe. sober haha jk unless - hospital bracelet l. lockwood song :(. affection - scruffpuppie feels like a lucy song and i cant explain why it just does. april to death - flower face god i literally cannot explain it for them specifically but this song goes in every character playlist i make. im so emotionally attached to it. breezeblocks - alt-j ok ik this is. a little bit of a weird one. but i dont care!! i love it!!! i live for slightly insane lockwood and you will too /threat (/j) bug bear - chloe moriondo despite lucy being so powerful talent wise, she never did great in school. stolen dance - milky chance DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAAAAAAAAAIN its so soft dancing at night vibes dude. i love it sm. theyre just swaying together in the kitchen. alternatively, case montage of them by eachothers side pick your poison. black sheep - the evil exes (there are a million versions of this song gimme a break) just. mmm luce vibes dont ask why i will not be able to answer. can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon yall remember that one edit from 2020 where average looking anime boy #44658 jumped out a building? lockwood wants that. (its ok me too lockwood) (no but fr this is another weird emotional attachment song but it could probably work for some sort of lockwood breakdown. wait actually it could cuz 'im scared to get close/i hate being alone' ok i understand now thank you brain.) daddy issues - the neighborhood I believe ive briefly discussed my lockwood with daddy issues hc. do i rememebr his canon relationship with his dad? no!! am i projecting?? yes!! i cant handle change - roar self explanatory. hes not good at change, shes not good at change, they both suck at it but theyre working through it together. ill sleep when im dead - set it off lockwood insomniac agenda (its not even an agenda its canon atp) achilles come down - gang of youths you guys dont want me to go in depth with this one. strawberry mentos - leanna firestone hehehdfbjngbfdg fluffy fluffy fluff fluffle so fluffy so sweet so cute so owie i love them. fool - cavetown eepy reading vibes in the library mixed with a teeeeny tiny bit of crying on lucys part. why shes crying is up for interpretation. beorge gush - strawberry milk cult this ones for the l&co ot3 mfs. its all of them. odnt ask why it just is. them vibes christ we're so close to being done PART 9 HERE WE GOO

#lockwood and co #locklyle #george karim #lucy carlyle #anthony lockwood

[bluewinnerangel]

The big Kiwi talk

IT’S HERE. AND IT’S HUGE.

Dear many anons, I’ve kept you waiting there way too long my love. Also thank you @larrysballetslippers​​ in particular for bullying me into releasing this thing hahahah. I’m SORRY. This has been sitting in my drafts unfinished for so so so so SO long because I wanted to do it right and I still don’t know if I did but enough is enough. This is a big big long big post about the song Kiwi. Lyric breakdown, time of writing, many possible meanings, song parallels, music video, you name it. I know Kiwi has been analysed a lot a lot and this is not an alternate reading to anything, this is putting many possible interpretations together at once. Really I’m gonna bring a whole lot into this. Maybe read it in a couple of sittings. It’s a lot to digest. Let's go! Kiwi Kiwi Kiwi wooo

Under the cut (I warned you it’s long):

~Disclaimers, feel free to skip~

All this should be obvious but with other analyses where I didn’t state these things I got a couple of responses that show I should have so blabla incoming: 

Not trying to convince you of anything, don’t take things too literal, things can have multiple meanings, there are nuances to things even though I might fail to bring it in a nuanced matter sometimes. I’m nowhere trying to claim these interpretations are what he meant when he wrote this because how would I know (and people claiming other things don’t know either). Just decide for each thing if it makes sense to you, stay skeptical, crunch that brain and welp with this analysis you kinda have no choice this time because I’m giving a ton of different interpretations and they definitely don’t all fit together. 

All that said this is coming from someone who is convinced Harry & Louis are together and the lyrics at the very very least are incorporating babygate so just get ready to have that in here loads. It’s also written with the assumption whoever reads this knows all about that. If not have this. 

Song parallels disclaimer: with pointing out song parallels I’m not implying whichever song was written later is referencing the other one. I’m simply pointing out there parallels can be drawn and you can interpret it whichever way you like. Especially those between Harry’s and Louis’ lyrics it’s dare I say a realistic conclusion to draw that they are and will continue to have loads and loads of parallels in their work not because they’re doing it on purpose to relate to each other but because they’re going through the same stages together, hardships, and being exposed to the same shit over and over again, oh I don’t know maybe because they’re sharing a life. Although I do think some of the times they do purposefully leave lil nods to other songs because they are somehow related to the song they’re writing, and that sometimes those are each other’s songs, just know that when I point out a parallel that’s not because I’m thinking Louis’ music is based on Harry’s and vice versa or something. Ok got that out of the way.

Now really let’s go places:

Things known about the writing process

It was one of the first songs he worked on after 1D. We got footage of him singing it with long hair (gif above, credits here), so it was before may 2016, and this pic of I’m assuming the same moment:

He's said this about Kiwi:

"It started out as a joke, now it's one of my favorite songs. It's one of the first ones I wrote for the album, when I was getting out a lot of energy. I hadn't written in a long time and this is what came out of it." - here

There really isn't any other option to explain this song except for resorting to “haha jk lol” now is there?

“Getting out a lot of energy” I have trouble interpreting more than one way. I almost want to state it as a fact that it was him getting out a lot of frustration. Almost as if there was sOmEtHiNg really fueling this thing. I think the stuff he chose to get out there first as he went solo is very telling, with Kiwi being the 2nd released music video after Sign of the Times. He came out of 1D, went on a 6 minute strugglerant about being sad and stuck (in the industry/closet/his image) in a defeatist (but not entirely devoid of hope) kinda way and then followed it up with another 3 minute rant about losing it, shit happening around him driving him crazy, this is frustrating the fuck out of me I'm just gonna release that energy by yelling about the thing that frustrates me the most among all this bullshit over and over again let's go SHE'S HAVING HIS BABY AND IT'S OUT OF OUR HANDS yes this is how I cope. I don’t know if this needs to be said really but I do think it’s about that, about babygate. (also there’s this idea it’s written by louis and I think that doesn’t make much sense) It’s really in your face, it’s so obvious it somehow becomes hard to believe he really did that but I do think he really did. That said, it could be that it’s not just about that, that it’s about all stunts, stunts in general, or even the whole (media/industry) circus, and that it includes details of both of the messes he as well as the people he cares about were/are involved in with the main one, the most frustrating one, being babygate. Still there are bbg-free alternate interpretations that I’ll get to as well.

Kiwi lyric breakdown:

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes

One line in and the scene has already been set: there’s a girl and she got no class.

There’s a lot of play on words in Harry’s songwriting and this song is no exception. So I already want to highlight the choice of the word “cheap” here and how it might be deliberate as later on there’s also a “business”, an “I paid for it/I’m gonna pay for this”, even the “cha-ching!”. He’s leaving a trace of a theme: money 

Parallel: Night out and it's ten grand, headlines that I can't stand - Just Like You

Who is "She"? Let’s list a whole bunch of possible interpretations (and with that, that of the whole song): 

It’s one specific girl the entire time as I’ve seen some not very deep interpretations of it being about ~certain girls he has been associated with~. And I’m not going into this whatsoever because NO

Still on that one girl, and the song is exactly what it looks like: a girl in da club every boy has got his eyes on, maybe not even anyone specific but a nice concept for a song with not much behind it (again, no.)

Still one specific girl the entire time, but yaknow babygate and first girl in line by a mile is definitely Briana, now we’re getting somewhere

an accumulation of girls he or those close to him have encountered that have had alterior motives (like stunts). That some lines include details of one of them and others being inspired by others.

the industry / fame / behavior of those in that world as a whole. The not-so-glamorous side of it that the insider, Harry, is seeing. Something looking great but it being a facade. Rock and roll, living fast, no real glory, hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

Harry is She, Harry is always all the She’s (I’m not going into this but really you can kinda make it work)

Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

Yeah so whoever she is, she's just smoking something and drinking something  and she's not very smart either, he’s really not trying to paint her in a good light here.

I'm setting myself up here for another parallel: "Now we're saying goodbye, Waving to the hard times, Smoke something, drink something" in We Made It

And all the boys, they were saying they were into it

This of course is a way of describing this girl’s appearance/behavior is generally considered to be desirable. But! The ambiguity in this line I love so much. You can easily accept this as him insinuating he’s into it like everyone else and he’s one of the boys if you want it to. Orrr iiisssiiittttt?? He’s not saying he’s one of those boys. (Later on there is that “but I’m into it”, I’ll get to it.) All the boys, ya know the boys who like the girls, are saying that's what they're into. I'm not into girls, I have no clue, but look all the boys were saying they were so apparently this is of interest.

Parallels: 

"The boys and the girls are in, I mess around with him/them, And I'm OK with it, I'm coming down, I figured out I kinda like it" - Medicine. I do think this is deliberate, although it doesn’t have to have the same meaning. But they seem to be written around the same time. It could be to weave songs (that were probably intended to be on the same album) together, just for the fun of it, or maybe even to use the same concepts for opposite meanings which I believe he’s done multiple times since (or all of the above, or none, who knows but the mermaid).

"told myself I kind of liked her" - Home. I know this line doesn’t look like much without context, but I think this line is vital to Home and its story, and that Home means a great deal to H, so, possible intentional parallel I’d say yes [please ask me about H vs home parallels] (this will come back)

And then another interpretation can be that “it” isn’t a woman at all, but a situation, a mindset, fame, this kinda lifestyle, *coughs* some “it” that has to end *coughs*, you name it.

Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck

Extension of the previous 2 lines, there's only a little bit of intellect up in that head on that neck there but at least it's something good to look at, or so I've been told.

Also it's really petty. To me this reads as ridiculously passive aggressive (not to mention the tone of this whole song, he's just aggressively screaming all of it), like he’s just focusing on the neck like he just wants to slit that throat.

She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it

On surface level he's one of the boys that's into this girl right? That's the obvious. That's what the song seems to allude to, the thing you conclude as a casual listener: there's a girl he finds attractive, as does everyone else, she's driving him crazy with it and he's into it. So in part I think some of these lines are written with that concept in mind, in such a way that it supports both that idea and what the song is really about. Here we got a very easy line saying he’s finding her attractive basically, orrrrr iiisss ittttttt

First tho: more parallels on HS1 with this with in Only Angel & Carolina, we got more girls driving him crazy by just being and he's oh so extremely into it. (not including Woman as he doesn't really seem to be much into it there) And I totally interpret these songs in different ways, I’m just saying, casual-listener’s (or aggressive het harrie making everything about girls would count as well I guess) level it’s these themes again and again.

But then there's that second layer, that’s the driving me crazy maybe isn't a positive kind of crazy. And the part where he’s into it could mean many many many things

I’ve also seen yet another interpretation that being into it means that he’s stuck in the situation that’s frustrating the fk out of him, he’s part of it, whatever it is. And then lemme just add Golden: when it ends, don’t wanna let you know. SOTT: they told me that the end is near, he just wants to *** **

Another interpretation could be that he’s just going along with the boys, because they were just now saying they were into it, but then he’s backtracking with adding a kind of:

I'm kind of into it

Oop there it is again, the same parallels as mentioned above but it’s getting worse with 

“[all the boys said they were into her] I’m kind of into it” - Kiwi

"told myself I kind of liked her" - Home 

"The boys and the girls are in, I mess around with them/him, And I'm OK with it, I'm coming down, I figured out I kinda like it" - Medicine 

kind of. In the context of liking girls. Reminds me of them answering interview questions with shit like "I guess you could say that yeah" like.. Yeah KiNdA. But, not really maybe.

But also (I am GOING PLACES WITH THIS JUST STRAP IN HOLD ON TO YOUR GRANDMA)

I think songwriters sometimes are inspired by situations/events that don't really have a positive side to them but they add something positive to the song anyway ("but I like it" or they end on a twist where "but you came back to me" or someshit) otherwise the song isn't... fun... isn't attractive. The same goes for Stockholm Syndrome. So here it could be that this shit's just driving him off a cliff and he's losing it and that's just it, like he’s not into anything he’s just going insane but that won't do for a song, so he adds that he’s into that craziness.

It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it

when 2 excessive gifs, one painful one and a bear say more than a thousand words

x

Oh, I think she said "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

Here of course we need to talk about the main message of the song, the elephant in the room, considering he wrote this song in the same months his enemy and other half of the horrible conspiracy that ruined their friendship had a "baby" that was also a huge target of another horrible disrespectful conspiracy and it really does seem none of his business doesn't it? Sorry but if this song is about anything but that and the having a baby is an analogy of literally anything else, that's one hell of a poor word choice then isn't it? There must have been someone, just at any point any point at all in this whole songwriting process going don't you think this is gonna come off as .. ya know.. that? Don't you think there was someone, anyone, at any point going like, hey, so, you know the only baby born in your near vicinity as far as fans know recently is that kiddo from that dude people think is secretly actually dating you like you're not being the most considerate of that baby and that family there maybe like but idunno it’s your choice. ?????

Aaaanyway, lyrically it's smart again: he goes "oh I think she said" as it's a double-triple-down on the I got nothing to do with it: “I think", like I don't even know, "she said”, so it's a woman saying something to someone, not even necessarily to him, it's like a telephone game indirect uh I guess that's what's going on. And then literally "it's none of your business", the 3rd indicator that the "you" (person “she” is telling she’s having his baby to) as well as the "I" (singer), whether that's the same person or not, got very little to do with the endeavour.

And not just that, but the way he decided to describe it's got nothing to do with him / he's got no say in the matter is interesting too: “it's none of your business”. That's it. It's business, it's a business, it's money. Someone is having someone's baby and it's another person’s business. It's a moneymaker. That's what it's for. Case closed.

Now okay let's just consider alternate explanations, let's just consider he doesn't give a poopy about babygate, this got nothing to do with that, then what is it? (also always consider it can be multiple of these things, really why not both, why not all) "having your baby" could also be a way to describe things being said about him in the media, as it’s just one of those celebrity rumors that fly around. (How many times has Jennifer Aniston been pregnant again?) I tried. And it even makes sense. I can try again: it could also be that “your baby” is the records he makes, and that “the suits” or whatever you wanna call it then take it and turn it into their business, take something he “birthed” to make a profit. And very successfully I might add. Both of these are entirely valid explanations and do make a lot of sense to me but also both of these could have been described in many other ways, yet he chose this. As I said above, if he meant either of these and definitely not bbg, that I’m wrong about everything and whatever narrative was being pushed about Louis’ life at the time (and still) is actually real (but I don’t think it is) then what an orrible orrible word choice this is.

~Drugs mentions coming up~

2nd verse:

It's New York, baby, always jacked up

Holland Tunnel for a nose, it's always backed up

Ok imma bring so many interpretations into this it’s a mess and imma pretend turning it into a list is somehow fixing that here you go:

First and easiest is that it’s just a coincidence and H is just totally awkward random, is that NY’s the place where you go when you want to make it big, where you got aspirations to be somebody, where you go on your chase for fame. I rarely think name-dropping people and places are to be taken literal, especially not in Harry's vague mess so I don't really consider "He was in New York with a girl and that girl told him that she's having his baby" as an option here.

“Jacked up” is just a way to say someone’s full on drugs, so this person or lifestyle is never sober, so yeah themes here are money, drugs, and alcohol, which I think would describe the musician/hollywood lifestyle. There have been and are many many many many musicians out there writing about that life in this way.

Did I say she’s always full of drugs yet? Lemme just emphasize: nose always backed up

He really didn't back down with the the cokesniffing sniff right there in the song either, in case it wasn’t clear what that nose was doing.

He keeps describing this woman who is claiming to be pregnant as taking substances you shouldn’t be taking when pregnant. Possibly helping to describe she actually isn’t.

A person’s chase for fame (NY mention) just consisting of partying, just doing coke basically all the time (always jacked up / nose always backed up).

There's some HS1 song-linking going on here:

Ever Since New York. Same as in ESNY, he drops “New York”, then drops a more specific well-known part of NY (Brooklyn/Holland Tunnel). He only uses NY twice in his songwriting, here and ESNY, which are snuggling on the tracklist. Got a couple of theories here. (disclaimer again, if you think ESNY is about his stepfather and don’t feel like it’s up for debate, that’s fine, stay there and just skip this bit. If you’re open to alternate interpretations read this) So he's going insane in Kiwi and then he hits his lowest low right after in ESNY. I think first of all using the same keywords across songs on an album just helps create a whole, he weaves these songs together. Or it’s worse and the NY in ESNY = the NY in Kiwi, again again that sounds like ridiculous farfetched bs if you think ESNY must be about dealing with bad news about a family member and kiwi is definitely not that and yep here’s that link again but I don’t think it is, I think that in both songs “New York” describes either fame or is a nudge to another stunt.

Carolina - coke. But also screaming about a "she" that drives him crazy :) Harry you're driving me crazy :)

Ok now for the next line

When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus

Imma drag so many things into this just... like take a break, get some water, this is a mess. HAVE FUN. Anyway so. many. interpretations:

This girl when alone goes home to a dry prickly ornament. Like she's got nothing there, really only just a plant and not even one that requires love and attention either.

This is pretty much telling that she's not going home with him / he's not going home with her right? If this song is about some attractive femme fatale that Harry's into and has had interactions with to the point where she could be telling him she's having his baby, then, what's this sentence doing here? Like what's the point of this sentence if it's about that.

Song parallels:

It's kind of the opposite of Home. You'll never feel like you're alone, I make this feel like home.

She’s alone <> Harry’s never to be felt like he’s alone She goes home to a cactus [her home’s empty] <> Harry has someone making whatever *this* is feel like home [his home’s not empty] (and yes that’s a blatant assumption Home is directed at Harry, to me that was already clear and then he just piled on Canyon Moon on top of that so eh)

There's some song-linking mess within HS1 here again, with all the girls and their homes:

When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus, in a black dress, she’s such an actress - Kiwi

Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, But I think that's what I like about it - Only Angel

She's got a family in Carolina, So far away, but she says I remind her of home, Feeling oh so far from home - Carolina

But there’s another mention of Home on this album and that’s Harry having a Sweet Creature bringing him home instead:

Sweet creature, Wherever I go, you bring me home - Sweet Creature

What to do with this info? I uh.. can go places: girls are going to their homes, he’s going to his? But common word common theme, right?

now for the cactus

Cactus, dry. Harry wet. Cactus dry Harry wet. CACTUS DRY HARRY WET. (just imagine me saying this like GAVE ME COOKIE GOT YOU COOKIE like this scene in new girl)

Harry seems to thrive in wet, just, at all times throughout all his work. He's consistently putting himself or things he cares about in water, there's this just e x c e s s i ve need to put water everywhere, to be just a nautical anchor holding looking for his sailorman diving into deep ends, plunging in, seemingly preferring to drown over any other type of hurt, not to mention the only depiction of his uh mate in his work is a fish, it just goes on, everything is wet wet wet. So yeah cactus? Not his thing. Not his place, not his home, he got nothing to do with a cactus. Harry is kelp. Seagrass. A water lily. A lotus. The opposite of a cactus.

But I got another interpretation. Soooo cacti are associated with... how do I say this, dry desert-typey landscapes... otherwise barren lands right?. That, how would you say, don’t need much fertile grounds. That don’t .. eh... Barren.

Desert. Barren. Unfruitful. Infertile. Empty. Not Pregante. Not pragnent, no pregonate. NO PREGGERS.

I also think mentioning over and over again that really all this girl is doing is smoking, drinking, and seemingly permanently on drugs is a pretty good indication that she’s not really having someone’s baby I mean you don’t need a cactus to tell you that

(I'm secretly hoping you kinda went holy fucking shit there because I did I mean we know but pff)

In a black dress, she's such an actress

Black dresses I do associate with club goers, party girls. And welp pair that with she being such an actress, some bearding/PR stunt involved female vibes here

The black dress can also refer to a lyric (I’m aware little black dress exists but not sure if I can do anything with that info; also might as well state here that any lyric may refer to another lyric anyway) or a specific person / situation

Then I do have to mention there has been someone parading around with baby bumps in black dresses not that long before this was written... But I am very weary of these kinda pretty literal interpretations, he does seem petty af here so wouldn’t put it past him.

“she’s such an actress” is a good way to say she’s faking it, tying in with the previous line, how many ways is that now you can interpret things here as him saying someone’s saying she’s pregnant but she isn’t actually? So just a little recap:

When she’s alone she goes home to a cactus, in a black dress, she’s such an actress = She’s faking it in a black dress and when there’s nobody around she’s clearly not pregnant. hmm.

Moving on, 3rd verse:

She sits beside me like a silhouette

Some girl-im-associated-with-but-idk-her vibes. This makes me think of photos of public figures supposedly having whatever type of relations and photos of them are placed side by side in articles and such.

It’s also pretty much in line with the “she’s driving me crazy but I’m into it” interpretation of not being able to escape this situation he’s in, he’s into it, part of it, she’s always there like a shadow (silhouette beside me) and it’s frustrating the fk out of him.

BUT I GOT ANOTHER INTERPRETATION AND THIS IS GONNA GET A BIT WILD and nasty:

Silhouette/shadow/synonyms of these can also be analogies of public images vs their true selves, they’re two dimensional mirrors/reflections, not them but look like them etc. But I don’t see how that makes all too much sense in the context of the rest of the song unless this verse and this verse only is doing something else entirely. Which is possible? It’s a mess, but here we go:

Then with that said I can bring in some more parallels: this kinda somewhat mirrors “Who’s that shadow holding me hostage” - Stockholm Syndrome (it’s only shadow vs silhouette really) and even “beside you I’m a loaded gun” - No Control which.. I mean only works if you view those songs as being related (which I do) and also become a bit less of a joke when you get to the next line:

Hard candy dripping on me 'til my feet are wet

Oh so Hard like the loaded gun and then candy like the sweet treat that is “Sweet where you lay / Sweet and Sour, I devour” - No Control?

and it’s also.... dripping things... onto his feet.. Yaknow.. the ... medicinecandy that’s dripping out of.. something..hard... throw in a foot fetish while we’re at it

...

With the amount of lyrics (and what he’s said in interviews, and just done, just behavior in general) that can double as something dirty I wouldn’t be suprised. But does it fit the song? I guess it could. It could be like Stockholm Syndrome / No Control and even Kill My Mind and Back To You, which you can all read as having that double meaning of being stuck / not having control over the difficult and frustrating situation they’re in (being the in the crazy music industry / PR shit / fame / you name it) but also about a uh..? ~not boring~? let’s put it like that? relationship, or even both simulaneously: Like this shit is killing me but ~the things we do behind closed doors~ serve as an antidote and help me feel better. Maybe, maybe not. None of these lines are all too convincingly alluding to that on their own but there seems to be a bit of a pattern here right? she says while trying to ignore the 6 years worth of footage of them being nasty right in front of our salads.

Also “till my feet are wet”, they were dry but the hard candy is making them wet. Like I said before harry’s thing is wet, which helps the idea this is a positive bit right? Possibly? I need this distraction from this situation until my feet are wet, till im comfortably put back in my element which is water. 

Harry’s somewhere out there laughing, literally meaning some random girl just dropped some candy on his toe and here I’m coming in with 28 diffferent interpretations....

Aaaaaanyway stepping away from that wild stuff, back to Kiwi alone. Since there’s such a big theme of substance (ab)use, I didn’t even go over the more obvious “candy” definitely at the very least doubling as a synonym for drugs again (and with that “hard candy” being hard drugs).

It’s also a movie and a whole different meaning there I don’t wanna get into

Also I think it’s funny that he mentions a cactus and then wet feet because that’s what it’s called when you overwater your plants and killing them that way, the fast route to killing a cactus via rootrot.

And now she's all over me

I can't contain this anymore I'm all yours, I got no control, No controooohoohool, poooooooowerless and I don't care it's obvious, I just can't get enough of you I got noooo control I mean yes this is probably bullshit but it keeps checking out lol.

Casual’s listener interpretation I’m not even sure is worth mentioning, that a girl is literally on top of him.

And of course it just fits with that concept that she’s driving him insane, that she’s just all over his mind, that the situation is consuming him.

Another interpretation could be that her name is linked to his everywhere he goes (thinking about 1D times where interviewers kept bringing up girls he was associated with over and over again).

it's like I paid for it (cha-ching)

There are SO. MANY. INTERPRETATIONS. HERE. 

Paying for it = buying it. Like, are you buying it? 

Are you believing she's all over him? 

Or, are you believing all these stunts?

paying for it = that money theme again. CHA-CHING, cash, big moneys, it’s a business. 

Also “it’s like”, so kinda, so, not really again? she’d be all over me as if i paid for it, but I didn’t really?

Also a bit of a clever insinuation that we’re dealing with a prostitute here right? Just for the fun of it? Or another clever wordplay, because while prostitute means “to offer for sexual intercourse in exchange for pay”, it also means “to put oneself to an unworthy or corrupt use for personal or financial gain“, for the 28th time insinuating that this girl is doing classless shady shit. (I hope it’s clear I’m not saying sexwork is something negative, it’s definitely not)

It's like I paid for it, I'm gonna pay for this

The wordplays are coming out of my pores by now, so here he flips the words around, going from “as if I was paying for it” to “I’m going to be paying for this”. This could be “You thought I was already suffering the consequences for this no no that’s nothing, I’m still going to” Or it’s even literal and he means he’s going to have to be putting money into something. Or you know totally awkward random who nows.

I personally choose to interpret this line as I'm gonna have to face some kinda backlash with this song, people are gonna be talking about this in a way others are not gonna like, yep is gonna have some effect oopsie but I'm gonna do it anyway.

Sooooooo I think that concludes the lyric breakdown I didn’t totally spend more than a month on.

yeah that was a lot... and we’re not done.

Meaning of “Kiwi”

And then after all that this mfer had the AUDACITY to call it Kiwi. WTF is that? Why? How? When??? 

Possible meanings:

KIWI like an abbreviation, what was the joke again, Kendall I Wasn’t Interested? Lol.

Kiwi, the bird:

Bird is a word for “girl”, I don’t recall if he has addressed girls as birds before but Louis definitely does (it’s a common way to say girl in northern england if I’m not mistaken).

It’s also more specifically a bird from New Zealand, so there’s some interpretations that he’s talking about certain people that are from NZ, like Dan Wattpad, but I’m not that set on that idea.

A Kiwi’s a flightless bird and he has used (not) flying/being in the sky, being birds, and bird(cage) tats, so it could signify once again not being able to fly away and stuck in this mess ('but I'm into it')

If you’re a bird I’m a bird, have some birdy bird posts, thank you @ladychlo​​ and @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk​​ for feeding me with these kinda posts nomnom

Kiwi, the fruit.

His whole fruit aesthetics didn’t come in until the FL era (if you excuse the bananas), I don’t think he really meant to throw a fruit in there just because it’s a fruit, but who knows.

~still on the fruit, but now it’s time for a biology lesson:~

related to fertility (again), the inside of a kiwi resembles sperm trying to fertilize the female egg cell:

But wait! There’s more! Harry possibly being at it again and just meaning something dirty: Kiwi’s can be compared to balls (testis) too, I mean just the Kiwi on its own being a hairy ball yay for that, but it also looks like a cross-section of the (I’m trying hard here to use layman’s terms) tubes that produce the sperm. Here are links to a blog demonstrating that perfectly. For those who don’t get it, these are pics of kiwi slices with microscopic images of testis tube slices shopped into it:

My two favorite worlds combined. It’s even purple too so this can’t get any closer to my very specific personal vibe right here. What’s your vibe you say? Explaining purple sperm thanks to Harry Styles yep that’s it. What’s a song analysis without throwing in a biology lesson (Luckily we’re not breaking down anything Kurt Cobain or we’d be here forever).

But let’s move on, to the music video because nope nope this shit just goes on.

Music Video 

I can’t write this massive post and not go into the music video, because what the hell, a cakefight with children in suits and puppies while yelling someone having a baby is not someone else’s business? Yeah that’s Harry Styles for you.

This kind of “weirdness” makes me think of one of his favorite songs, Flowers in the Window, which has a very particular music video (with pregnant women no less) that just descends into an almost psychedelic weirdness (thanks @wishingicouldfly​​ for talking about this hah) and doesn’t seem to have much to do with the song itsself, or does it? 

Maybe first the buildup to the MV, the teasers on social media, in order:

28 kids if you don’t include Harry and his mini-me ok yep that’s fine.

mini-me of long hair era Harry got it? yeah got it. 

Harry be like STRONG asdkjahskdjh

Don’t laugh (please laugh) but this reminds me of this

It’s 90% just that girl wearing the same kinda Louis Bert shirt

(can you tell even I am going ENOUGH IS ENOUGH with this post please im pasting bert memes here)

Let’s also not neglect to mention the fact that his mini-me is a girl

This lil puzzle crazy mfer probably did some annoying[affectionate] shit with the amounts of times there was “KIWI” across all these and that will probably haunt me forever but

nuh-uh mfer not going there nonono.

Just one more thing before we get into the video:

x

harry be like mirror mirror on the wall who is the biggest bluegreener of them all

Anyway onto the video, unfortunately I’m not done with the wild larrying because the first 4 shots, can’t make this shit up, are this:

Mini-Harry in the bluegreen suit barging in through the nice blue door into the nice blue hallway, nice school you got there

nice blue cupcakes you got there

then the very next frame (0:12) we get the lil STRONG bluegreener boi with the turquoise cupcake

Cut to just his face and his blue shirt, he angry

Followed by another kiddo, in a green shirt this time, also angry

And then we just get to a whole bunch of images of cakes and kids, but yeah just saying those are the first images, juuuuuuuuuuuuuust pointing it out, nice coincidunkirks. It’s not like they’ve been aggressively bluegreening before and since nono.

So then mini Harry enters the room, they’re about to start the fight, it’s a buildup to it

for some reason this lil dude is highlighted a lot:

And this guy gets to say “what the fudge” hehe:

And then they fight, fightyfightyfighty, until mini-Harry runs out of ammo (cupcakes) (1:50):

Runs to the cake pile for more, then soldier manoeuvres (whatever that move is called) her way out of there like she’s evading bullets (managing to draw SOTT parallels because I like the pain)

but looks defeated, and that’s the moment now-Harry? Short hair harry? Big Harry? whatever actually Harry enters the room with a puppy.

2015 harry Mini-harry looks up to him like she’s saved pretty much.  

And then there’s just a bunch of chaos with children and cakes and puppies and at the end we get the smirk

Also the full image of all the kiddos at the end with the lil vertical stripe’o’bluegreener in the middle:

Interpretation, I guess. Although, it isn’t much, not compared to the lyric insanity above:

I’d like to think he just went fuck it I want a cakefight and puppies and so it shall be. Lighten the mood of what has fueled Kiwi into existence, turning it into something cute, innocent, sweet, etc.

But ok I’m calling this the big talk so I gotta go places with this, one clear theme is kids, human kids and puppies. They were only kids trying to work it out WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME STOP (do have a parallels post about this tho) with a very obvious younger version of him, the little long haired girl, made extra double triple clear by wearing the same suit as him, this is long-haired harry. Another clear theme is fighting, half of the MV is spent preparing for battle and then it descends into chaos. So this could be the most lighthearted analogy you’ll ever see of well.. his/their ongoing battle with *all the bullshit*.

Also we gotta go here right, gotta go here... can’t leave it out, bunch of kids in a gay club being themselves before all the shits goes to shit:

I can’t even watch this

tag of posts about this I still dont know how to link a tag in a way it works on mobile sorry if you’re on mobile

I also want to share this post about his live performance of Kiwi. I do think he pours out a certain type of energy that isn’t comparable to anything else, something that doesn’t happen with any other song. But I haven’t had the opportunity just yet to experience this myself, of course there are tons of videos, but I’m sure it’s different, so I’ll let that post tell it all. 

Anyway, last point, about him singing it live, is how he decided to end HSLOT on July 14, 2018 (July 14 you say, end on July 14? really? you wanna end the tour, end it, on july 14? okay. okay. no. that’s fine. yeah this is fine too. oh yeah just bzz again in 2020 why don’t you. It’s fiiiine), and end it on singing Kiwi 3x. His entire god damn tour he ends it on screaming the “I’m having your baby it’s none of your business” song three times in a row on the three year “anniversary” of the start of babygate?

And with that this analysis. Thank you for reading I hope it was a good one <3

Read my other song analyses here

#kiwi #kiwi analysis #i did it #it only took 57 years of my life #smart things with lyrics #welikeparallels #tw: drugs #tw: sex mention #i mean kinda #its not really safe #ehm #gayvinci code

[kanmom51]

Do you ever just sit and ask yourself what if I'm wrong about jikook? I'm not am anti I promise. I just have a hard time letting go of certain things I fixate on and I guess bts and jikook have become one of those fixations. And my brain just can't get over the hump of thinking what if we're wrong? And I get a weird sinking feeling. And I know I shouldn't be this attached to the potential relationship of two strangers haha.

So I guess I'm just wondering how you deal with not knowing for sure yet still attaching so much emotions and research into jikook as a couple. Would it be easy for you to just let it go if it came out they're not a thing? Is so how do you train yourself to make it easy?

I think I would really have to reevaluate my deductive skills and my reasoning if I turn out to be wrong cause it just seems like they are together. But then there are so many taekookers just as convinced. I seriously sit and wonder if I'm just delulu but for jikook and not taekook. And it would make me feel so stupid.

Oh and also if there's no doubt in your mind, how are you so sure? Because I have doubts as high as a skyscraper one day then another day I'm super sure they're together haha.

I will tell you a little secret about myself anon, but please don't tell everyone, this is between the two of us:

I have a little bit of an obsessive personality. Not obsessive crazy as shit personality, but the type of personality that when I latch on to something that I find interesting, I will dissect it to bits, and if it's a mystery, even better.

It's kind of what made me good at my job.

Prior to the pandemic I was all about Disney, Disney world, Disneyland. Ask me anything about Disney World (prior pandemic) I knew it. It was my happy place, the thing that brought me joy (apart from my loved ones, of course). I even ran my own Blog. I follow most of the Disney World bloggers, and used to watch their clips daily, as much as work and family could allow it. I even had a DW trip fully planned and booked for Sep 2020 (which went kaput). Family is similarly obsessed with everything Harry Potter and Marvel equally.

Yes, slightly obsessed.

The pandemic put a stop to the Disney World blogging, and so then came BTS. With BTS came my interest in these two members that interactions seemed to be 'different', et voila, a new mystery, a puzzle, if you want, for me to find it's pieces and try to build.

While diving into this new mystery I came to learn more about all the members and gained a real appreciation for who they are as human beings and what they stand for. I also found a bit of me in JK's personality, I feel I see him, in a way, understand some of the struggles he faces and understand his behaviours.

Imagine my joy to discover they are into Disney, Harry Potter and Marvel too...

All this and I haven't yet answered you questions anon, lol.

Why this long ass prologue though?

To explain my thought process, the reason I got into Jikook, and why I'm still here. I didn't read a tweet (couldn't if I wanted to, not being on Twitter) and decided Jikook are real. I didn't watch a Jikook clip on YT and decide Jikook are real.

I notices something different between those two, latched on and went digging. But that wasn't all of it. The more I got into it, I learnt about skinship, a bit of Korean culture, shipping and more so about the other ships within BTS, and went looking to see, maybe, just maybe I am getting things wrong. The more I went looking the more I saw just how different Jikook were to the others.

From everything I've watched, from the digging I've done, from the content I have seen (original content, not edited and twisted content), I have come to my conclusion that that JM & JK are a couple. That is what I believe.

Saying that, unless JM & JK 'come out' and announce it publicly, or something to that extent, I can never be 100% sure.

Do I have doubts? Of course I do. Not as much and as often as some Jikook's seem to have, but I do need, once in a while, to look back, re-watch content, do a bit of re-evaluation, a bit of reminding too, as to what made me believe in the first place. Isn't that only natural?

It's actually quite healthy to do that once in a while, at the end of the day it only strengthens my beliefs as to what is going on between those two.

I think though that what makes the difference for me anon is that I'm not a shipper. I don't see myself as a shipper. It's not "oh, they look good together I want to fantasize about that" or "I think they are together and to hell with reality". I didn't even know what shipping was before I entered this fandom. I saw two young men that I felt had this pull towards each other and went with it, and that brought me here.

Will I be upset if they turn around and say they aren't together? No, not really.

I'm here to support a couple of lovely young men that I feel love each other and have to hide who they are and who they love because of the industry and society the are part of.

If I am wrong, then be it.

They are lovely, positive, talented human being, who have worked so hard to get where they are today. All I wish for them is to be happy, because I feel they deserve it.

I am not emotionally invested in them being a couple. This is super important to make clear, and I think that if as a fan you find yourself in that place you need to take a step back and re-evaluate things.

Yes to love and support. Yes to follow and be happy for them. No to be emotionally swayed by every single thing they do or don't do. No to basing your own happiness on what goes or doesn't go on between them.

Will my pride be bruised if at the end of the day my sleuth abilities will be proven wrong, hell yeah, lol.

Will I be sad or disappointed or hurt or angry if at the end of the day I am proven wrong? No way.

All I wish for them is to be happy. Wherever it may be or whoever it may be that they find that happiness with.

#ask #anon

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

[wtf-yoongi]

Stage lights. ‹‹part I of III››

pairing | jungkook x reader

summary | you visit jungkook on tour for the first time

genre/warnings | high levels of fluff + relatively new relationship + warning: features jk being extremely tired in between sets + but it’s ok because you look after him afterwards and now my heart is clenching 

words | about 7k total (part I is 2,034)

note | kinda belongs in the same universe as this one, but can be read separately. i got carried away and wrote this huge thing, so i decided to separate it into three parts. i hope you like it 🖤 p.s.: the other two will be posted in the next few days. also: have i mentioned i love jk and want him to have the whole world?

Your phone vibrates repeatedly inside of your pocket, but you can’t really reach for it while trying to get your luggage out of the conveyor belt, can you? You run towards your red, small-sized suitcase, thankful that you were fast enough to reach it before you had to wait it go around again.

When the tiny wheels are finally on the ground, you retrieve your phone to check the texts.

Hae is there to pick you up, ok? She has expert level English like me lol

She’s also wearing a bright orange jacket so you recognize her

Let me know when you’re with her?

You don’t really feel like replying now, choosing to look in the direction of the exit to see if you could already locate a bright orange spot somewhere instead.

It’s not that you are trying to ignore him – quite the opposite. To be completely honest, your nerves are killing you.

It all feels even more real now that your feet are on the ground and your brain keeps telling yourself oh my god he’s somewhere in this city breathing this air while at the same time trying to calm down. It has been months since you last saw each other, work and classes getting in the way, but the day has finally come. 

And you couldn’t be more thankful – or nervous. There’s something about seeing him after such a long time that, deep down, worries you. Yeah, you talk every day, but texting and video calls only go so far. They’re not the real deal. And even though 99% of the time all that comes to mind is how badly you want to hold him close and hug him for hours, there’s 1% of doubt there for some reason. 

Seeing someone after a very long time just gets awkward sometimes. And you don’t want things to be awkward, not even a second. You only have a few days together before you have to go back home, there’s no time for that – no time to lose.

You finally start moving again, holding onto your phone a little bit too tightly and dragging your suitcase behind you. The exit doors are not far from carousel number twelve and you can see there are a number of people waiting for arriving passengers: family members, friends, nicely-dressed people holding up iPads with fancy last names… And a young woman wearing the most absurd orange jacket.

Jungkook must have shown Hae a picture of you before – she’s quick and doesn’t think twice before waving shyly in your direction as soon as you’re through the automatic doors. You smile at her kindly and notice she’s immediately reaching for her phone to text someone. It wouldn’t surprise you if it is Jungkook himself or another staff member that could let him know the news.

“Hi,” she greets with an excited smile. “I’m Hae, it’s a pleasure to meet you! How was your flight?”

It intimidates you a little seeing such a sweet-looking person your age be so formal and polite around you. She looks like she could be your friend – a friend that insists on carrying your small suitcase even though you have no problem at all doing it yourself.

When you’re inside the black SUV, you text Jungkook back.

I’m on my way now, please tell Hae to relax and treat me as a friend

It’s kinda freaky how diplomatic she is

A few seconds pass before you get an answer.

Let her be, she’s nice haha

She’s an assistant to the head of PR. Literally her job description includes being as diplomatic as possible

You smile at your phone and then raise your eyes to Hae, who’s sitting on the passenger seat next to the driver. They exchange a few words in Korean, but remain quiet for most of the long ride to the venue.

There’s a little bit of traffic when you’re near the stadium, the influx of cars coming and going more intense the closer it gets. It’s great to see people lining up, singing and dancing in anticipation. The line itself isn’t as long now and you assume most people are already inside. With that, you also realize this is, in fact, your first BTS concert. How weird is that?

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to put this on,” Hae interrupts your thoughts and you turn to her to see a simple black baseball cap in her hands. “I’m really sorry about this, no one’s going to see you, this is just extra precaution. If you could hold onto this and wear it every time you’re outside, that would be ideal.”

You don’t say anything, settling for just nodding in agreement and taking the cap from her hand. As you put it over your head, you wonder if these are going to be some curious few days, filled with first timers. But even if the thought of hiding a relationship is foreign to you, you know, in this case, the price is totally worth it.

The closer you get to the stadium, the louder the cheering seems to get. When Hae opens the door, you find yourself parked next to many other cars and vans, and you can finally hear the sounds clearly – thousands upon thousands of people filling up every seat. She moves to get your luggage from the trunk and you just want to yank it out of her hands to carry it with your own, but stop yourself from doing so at the last second with pursed lips and a let her be in the back of your mind.

With a “follow me, please”, Hae leads the way through a maze of corridors, doors and temporary structures built solely for the single show that’s going to take place in this stadium. It surprises you just how big everything seems to be, the scale of it all, and Jungkook’s pressures kind of seem more real now. Putting yourself in his shoes becomes just a little easier as you can feel the buzz from the fans building some sort of anxiety inside of you.

“They’re inside this room,” she finally speaks again and points to a door with a sign that says ARTIST in big, bold letters. “I’ll see you again when the show starts, ok? Oh, and I’ll take care of your luggage, you don’t have to worry about that.”

You nod and let out a small “thanks” just when she turns the knob and opens the door, moving her hand to signal you can go in. You can hear many people talking before even seeing anything, but you’re not ready for the sheer amount of people working in a single room when you finally peak inside.

Everything looks like the most organized mess ever. There are black labeled boxes and bags everywhere and people moving up and down with Canon cameras, freshly-ironed shirts, makeup brushes and everything in between. They all seem to be speaking or laughing quietly and in a rush, their Korean rolling out of their tongues so easily it startles you when you hear something you can actually understand. 

“Hey, you’re here!”

You suddenly stop scanning the room to turn to your immediate left, where a familiar face is smiling at you. Namjoon has a water bottle in his hands, which he promptly leaves on top of a table to greet you properly.

“It’s so nice to see you! How are you doing?” He asks and leans in for a quick hug. When you separate, he’s once again speaking, but this time you don’t understand a word except for Jungkook-ah in the beginning of the sentence.

All of a sudden, you feel like all eyes are on you. People working all around stop for a second to see you for the first time and you start to wonder what exactly Namjoon said after calling Jungkook’s name.

It all lasts less than a second, though, as the staff at least looks like they have more important things to do than looking at a stranger – and you’re deeply thankful for that. To your right, you see both Jimin and Hoseok waving hello from their seats where they're having their hair done. You wave back at them with a smile and it isn’t until you turn your head to face forward again that you see him quickly moving towards you.

Jungkook has the most absurd smile on his face, dimples in full display – and, somewhere inside, you melt completely. There’s something different in him and you can finally see it now that he’s in front of you. His jaw looks more defined, his hair texture is healthier than the last time you saw him and there’s something about the way his eyes glimmer that certainly can’t be captured on camera. You have to be face to face to see it.

He takes longer strides the closer he gets to you and you feel like he’s fighting the urge to run altogether. It all happens so fast – you can’t even extend your arms in his direction before he’s crashing into you, the air leaving your lungs in a low humpf. Jungkook surrounds you with his body, his arms tightly holding on, while you do your best to press a hand to his back at the same time you’re trying to hold the cap on top of your head so it doesn’t fall to the ground.

It is overwhelming, but in a good way. Suddenly, that 1% of doubt is a thing of the past.

Jungkook lets go all of a sudden and looks into your eyes, soon grabbing your hand to lead you out of the room again without saying a word. He’s taking long steps and you have to be quick on your feet to follow.

“Where are we going?” You ask and you have to adjust the strap of your backpack before it falls from all the moving around.

Jungkook doesn’t answer, though, and swiftly pulls you into another room nearby. This one is much smaller, you notice, and there’s no one inside. When he closes the door behind you, it gets quiet and, somehow, familiar.

“My God, I’ve missed you,” he says under his breath, pulling you close again. He’s calmer now, taking his time to bury his face in your neck and take a deep breath. “I’ve missed you so much, I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I’ve missed you, too, you know? A lot,” you reply, running your hands up and down his covered back to comfort him. “A whole lot.”

“I’m sorry I had to drag you out of the room like that,” he speaks quietly before taking a deep breath – and you can feel the air he exhales soon after. “Too many people watching.”

“It’s ok, I understand.”

Everything feels so still you can swear, for a moment, that the whole world has stopped. Jungkook is slowly rocking both of your bodies from side to side, humming a song you can’t recognize, and it seems impossible to fall more in love with him than right now. You close your eyes, taking everything in, and you can smell the slight scent of fresh laundry in his clothes.

“And I wanted to kiss you,” he admits out of nowhere. “Can’t do that in front of everybody.”

Jungkook gently disconnects his body from yours, taking his time to look at you now. He softly places a hand on your face as if he’s struggling to believe you’re there and you’re real. When he smiles, your heart melts further – and you don’t know how that’s even possible.

“Can I?”

You smile back, nodding at the same time you reach for the back of his neck. “You can kiss me a hundred times.”

“Just a hundred?” Jungkook asks with a disappointed voice, leaning in closer now. “What happens if I want more than that?”

“You get… Refills,” you say and laugh at your own choice of word. “Endless kiss refills. Does that sound good?”

“Hmm,” he hums, kissing you and tasting your lips for the first time in what seems like forever. “Sounds great.”

He laughs and leans in again.

☁️ read part II here ☁️

Read more ›› masterlist

#jeon jungkook #jungkook x you #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook x reader #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios

[literaphobe]

season 2 of she-ra rated by catradora content

the frozen forest: “aw, cute, you can turn your sword into stuff.” very interesting how adora has to literally train not by fighting any real soldiers in the horde just... catra. light hope scanned her brain and knew she wouldn’t bother to run after anyone else :/ which. is true. call her out!! she fights bots too but she has more or less no issues with them even though she’s no expert with turning her sword into stuff yet, but then catra comes out, and suddenly adora can’t even block a single punch because catra laughed at her :( AND suddenly her sword can’t turn into anything but a cup. why adora? are you thirsty? it’s even funnier because none of this is real, and adora KNOWS that none of this is real, but she’s still Affected when fake catra says her seductive “hey adora” and she decides oh i know! i’ll turn my sword into a d*ldo with holes! oh wait never mind, is that a flute? damn it now she wants to Serenade catra. that’s even gayer than wanting to have sex with her. “did you mean to do that? because if you did it’s a terrible weapon.” “is not! >:(“ adora’s comebacks are like. kindergarten quality shit. i would make fun of catra’s insult too but in her defense that’s not actually catra. so adora tries to hit fake catra with her musical instrument and it doesn’t really work so she tackles fake catra and pins her to the ground. and looks,,, low key aroused as she does it okay adora.... she’s not real please remember that.... ur already a furry please don’t also be a bot fucker “what are you waiting for? you gonna play me a song on that thing?” yes she WAS catra! that’s what i’ve been SAYING don’t be mean to your girlfriend when she’s trying to serenade you :( adora gets angry after this latest act of oppression so she raises her hand, about to hit fake catra, but she stops right before the weapon can make contact, and her face softens. “i knew you couldn’t do it.” fake catra fades and the audience finds out something adora already knew. none of this was real, and even if she had hit fake catra and killed her, real catra would be fine. And Yet,,,,, big fucking sigh bros. haha y’all ever so hung up on a chick that you can’t even kill a fake simulation of her? even though she’s your enemy? lmaoooooo anyway the training simulation ends and adora is so depressed she transforms out of her she-ra form and asks “did you have to make her so mean? :(“ even tho light hope is about to come out and yell gay slurs at her. light hope shows up and is very confused. is catra... not mean? was my catra ooc miss adora? :/ did this catra hit different? too hostile? not like what ur used to? :/ go to hell adora if you made catra into a sim and picked her defining trait it WOULD be MEAN god everyone’s a critic. and then adora is like ok ur right :( catra is mean.... but have you considered making your simulation’s fake catra one that will hold me gently in her arms? have you considered that maybe i don’t want to fight her and that i want to kiss her instead? god damn it light hope you bitch. you fucking homophobe.

light hope is like okay cool. this latest performance was ur worst one btw and adora is like why do you THINK and is like i wanna be the very best :( like no one ever was :( and protecc etheria :( “but catra, she’s just in my head” ;) oh yeah i bet she is adora JFJSJDJSJD “when you grow up with someone, they know how to push your buttons :(” that’s very true adora. but you also grew up with many people such as lonnie, rogelio, and kyle. and you don’t seem to give a shit about them :/ so i guess “grow up with someone” really means “be in love” huh. i love you but do NOT lie to me ever again. after this, we see the real catra :’) she’s back at the horde training kyle, lonnie, and rogelio. “she-ra is too strong to defeat with force alone. but she’s slow and easily manipulated.” yeah maybe for you! maybe she slows down when she fights you because ur pretty and ur voice is sexy! way to flex ur privilege :( not everyone can manipulate she-ra because she’s not in love with all of them ok :( just u :( later on, we’re back at the war meeting in bright moon. bow says “we’re defeating the bots, but more keep coming. while we’re using our resources to hold our borders, the horde hasn’t had to deploy a single soldier.” hey! that’s a perfectly normal statement right! one that does not mention any specific person. there should be no reason for anyone to respond to this by bringing up any individual. guess what adora says. guess what she fucking says. i’m so fucking done oh my god. “typical catra >:(“ did... did bow MENTION catfkakdjsjdjsjs????? i’m fucking WHEEZING. adora. baby. could u. like. chill out? :/ re catra? for like one second? no? okay guess i’ll have to live with it. adora is so hung up over the “hey adora ;)” she heard from fake catra during training that she has to repay the favor when she fights entrapta’s upgraded bots. adora looks into the camera of one of the bots and just. she just KNOWS catra is watching and she’s correct. and she’s like “hey catra ;)” before punching the camera and cutting the live stream. catra’s response isn’t to immediately ditch the horde and go kiss adora (booooooo) but to. try and explode she-ra using one of the other bots. okay. i guess we all cope with arousal in different ways :/ when the bot explodes and adora realizes her attempt at seduction did not work out the way she intended (press f to pay respects), she gets all “>:( catra” which is very cute and iconic of her. and it’s apparently her way of coping with the situation so i’ll just let her be! 9/10

ties that bind: fuck you swift wind. what the FUCK. i can’t believe adora had to go on some stupid quest with the horse all because she would be fiFTy sEVeN pERcenT mOrE eFFeCtivE with him. who gives a shit. catra getting kidnapped and tied up is clearly the superior plot here and adora wasn’t there for it?? which, i know is the whole point, but also, why did they have to put her with the horse. would’ve rather seen adora with literally any of the princesses instead. haha jk. but also, am i? it is important that adora gets over her hatred of swift wind and bonds with him. but also, is it? sigh, let’s get on with the show. bow and glimmer set out to go bring back entrapta. “let’s go get adora!” bow baby. u r so woke. i love that attitude. yes y’all should’ve absolutely brought adora along. no she was not doing anything important. “adora’s training!!!!” glimmer baby i love u but why :( why would u do this :( anyway, bow and glimmer get tricked into thinking the horde is torturing entrapta so they (accidentally) kidnap catra. bow is an absolute sweetheart who just. is sweet to everyone so he tries bonding w catra and is like “come on, i bet even the horde has friends. what about adora? :3 you two grew up together. what was she like as a kid? :3” because adora is bow’s best friend and he wants to know more about her <3 best boy <3 and catra just hisses at him because if she spoke she would probably say. adora was everything to me. adora made me laugh, she played with me, she took care of me, she protected me even when everyone else looked the other way. just seeing her would put a smile on my face. she held my hand. she hugged me. she was my shoulder to cry on. adora was the only good thing in my life at the horde. i have been in love with her my entire life. and now she’s she-ra. anyway. catra decides to annoy glimmer into letting her go, and glimmer gets so frustrated that she says “how did adora take years of this? she didn’t run away from the horde. she ran away from YOU” which. is about the most horrifying thing you could say to catra since she like. really believes that. and adora’s not even there to defend herself :( and say shit like. Well It Helped That I Was In Love With Catra And That Every Moment We Spent Together Was Filled With Laughter And Joy Because No One Else Has Ever Made Me This Happy Even When We Were Stuck Together In The Worst Place On Etheria—stuff like that u know? :/ anyway catra is like :’( —> >:’( “adora’s gonna dump u one day too glimmer!!” + “you and adora are perfect for each other, i’ll give you that. earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate. it’s adorable!” wow catra. u think…… adora…. is…. adorable? wow…. :’) djdjdjdjdjdj but yeah. she really said my gf is cute! my gf is earnest! and that’s pretty much it on the catradora front. notice how i didn’t say a word about the horse plot. yeah. :) i mean i physically couldn’t because this is a catradora based evaluation post. but ya. u get the point. 7/10

signals: huh! nothing! except when glimmer says “catra was right!” and adora’s face is like... u kno. u know how she gets when catra is suddenly brought up. 2/10 but the whole ghosts thing is cute. adora believing and wholeheartedly being scared of ghosts makes me think... catradora buzzfeed unsolved AU

roll with it: the absolute RIGHTS of this episode. adora planning obsessively because “you’re not taking the biggest variable into account :( catra </3 she’s been behind every horde plan, she led the attack on bright moon, she’s devious, she’s very cute—“ and everyone is like omg adora calm down,,,, okay fine we’ll fantasize about ur gf. so everyone is all: this is my catra headcanon <3 glimmer is like. catra is a sexy femme fatale. bow is like. catra and i would make so many sick fucking puns. and adora is like :( y’all are all headcanoning catra WRONG :( she’s sexy and funny and cute the Way She Is :( why mess with the original recipe? :( except she’s wrong because season 4 and 5 will exist one day. but she is not wrong because season 1-3 catra is also very good. adora u do u. have fun laughing at everyone’s interpretations of ur gf. go ahead and brag about how uve been in love w her ur entire life. adora is like. all ur plans suck. obviously catra would block or duck or jump up really high or look really cute or smile and dazzle u with her charms. how DARE you underestimate my enemy gf. and then everyone devolves into their cool plans again and adora is like CATRA CATRA CATRA >:( so everyone is like ok fine we are going 2 bully her. and we get this epic scene where they do impressions of catra, but it is visualized like: different versions of catra keep flanking adora, and she in that scene is clearly very seriously considering having a fourway with femme fatale catra, prom catra, and punny og catra. but in like uh.... a cool platonic way. anyway, everyone is like. hey adora. we know ur paranoid and obsessed with ur gf. but can we just attack the horde now? could you chill the fuck out? and adora is like. u wanna know the worst that could happen? fine. “i’m the heaviest hitter, so catra will separate me right away. trap me, take my sword, do Something so i’m helpless when she turns on you. she knows Everything about me, EXACTLY what i’ll do, EXACTLY how to take me out. they’ll overwhelm frosta and mermista with bots, they’ll fire on perfuma, and use her to draw bow out into the open, pinning him between the bots and the horde soldiers. glimmer will teleport in to save him, but she won’t have enough magic left to get out, trapping them both. catra will make me watch all of it before she Finishes Me Off.” which..... weirdly kinky, but okay, and also weirdly sweet if u think about it? like catra grew up thinking she was never as good as adora but adora even with her new she-ra powers now is convinced that catra is so good that she can predict and counter and overpower anything adora throws at her, even with her super-powered friends and allies <3 and she...... lets it paralyze her with fear and blames herself for anything that could possibly go wrong which is really sad and not good :( but stuff can be two things! and. we’re kind of trying to be gay here so let’s continue on the gay train <3 the princess alliance realizes that adora has major issues and give her love and support so adora is like oh nice!!! time to run in without a plan and stay true to my brute strength colors <3 and she’s so excited to see her gf..... only to find out, her gf isn’t there?????? the fuck???? she spent hours planning their fight date only to get stood the fuck up??????? she’s so distraught over it as she fights scorpia she goes through the five stages of grief. she’s like... catra’s really not here?? and she left you in charge???? and babe i get that ur jealous and upset that ur gf didn’t show up but hey :( don’t hate crime scorpia like that :( 8/10

white out: adora is upset that she hasn’t seen her enemy gf in a while so when the squad finds out that the horde is doing stuff in the north(?) adora decides that they must immediately go there in case the horde (catra) is doing stuff that she must stop the horde (catra) from doing immediately. and it works! they bump into the super pal trio! but before that, we see entrapta show catra the red disk that makes she-ra go RAGE and adora go floop. it’s basically a Make Adora Delirious/Drunk Crystal <3 catra gets an evil hate boner when she hears that the disk “takes away she-ra’s powers” and is like damn entrapta ;) why didn’t you tell me about that sooner ;) later on, the best friend squad bumps into the super pal trio! adora sees catra and is like. hey remember last episode? what the fuck was that babe. step the FUCK up. run away with me? <3 but here’s a more literal break down of what really happened: catra is threatening entrapta as she... tends to do when she’s interrupted by adora who says “catra! >:(“ completely ignoring that there are other people there who she should also greet. i mean it’s just manners u know? “it’s been a while.” is not an excuse. u haven’t seen entrapta either for an even longer time. and u had nothing to say to her? i get that ur gay and in love but have some respect okay :( catra is happy and decides it’s time to seduce her. we get yet another “heyyy adora ;)” for the books. adora starts to ignore everyone present again and banters pettily with catra about how catra lost the battle of bright moon, because you know :( she hasn’t seen her gf in a while :( and she didn’t get to rub things like that in her face :( and catra is like haha lmaooooo loserrrrr and it really pisses adora off so she’s like okay down to business then! go away >:( and catra’s like oh u want me to go away? make me ;) and so they literally. run away from everyone else. i’m not making this shit up they literally said those things and just ditched the group. and both groups, who have not said a fucking word to each other since this confrontation began because the lesbians are so fucking loud and clearly everything they discuss is personal and not an invitation for group convo, they’re all left there to be like..... i guess we should fight each other now? and scorpia is like UGHHH goddamn it. and u really feel for her u know? :/ u try and u try to ask a girl out and she’s so stupid she doesn’t know ur asking her out on a date, but her stupid ex walks in and all she has to do is run and catra runs in front of her ready to go on a date. what the fuck. anyway, catra and adora are also fighting. adora’s better at transforming her sword into stuff now so she summons a rope (ok kinkster) to grab catra’s leg and pull her towards her and she threatens catra with her sword, saying “don’t move.” catra’s response? “oh, please. you’d never have the guts.” and god damn it catra it’s not that she doesn’t have the guts! :( it’s that she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you! and also she’s not into necrophilia! catra continues with “you know, as much as i love our fights, it’s way too cold for this.” i hate them so fucking much. they really do get off on this shit!!! i hate them but also mood!!!! stop flirting with each other ur both so goddamn annoying omg. “why don’t we try something new? ;)” yeah. something new like hmm what if y’all kissed? haha, just a suggestion! but no, catra decides to use the red crystal thingy :( haha SIKE i’m not :( at all i’m very much :) because we’ve been WAITING for drunk adora. i love that delirious baby. what a fucking cutie. but because she-ra’s sword is the one who gets poisoned, she-ra goes all angry and evil and catra is like that’s hot! but it’s not what i signed up for but also... oh lmao she’s fighting her friends? nice. this is hot again. complacently, catra goes “this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened!” causing evil!she-ra to realize she exists and trying to kill catra for real, and catra is like NEVER MIND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS and she’s like “adora wait :(“ which is like. babe no :( babe u were supposed to turn evil in a sexy way :( we could be sexy and evil together baby :( babe :( thankfully for catra adora’s not the only one who has a crush on her so scorpia tackles she-ra, separating her from her sword, and she goes back to adora. catra gets the sword, laughs, and says “that went so much better than i could’ve ever hoped.” did it?????? ur so stupid ur gf was about to murder u and u were ready to simp for ur life. then she goes “looks like you’re mine now, adora. >;)” and like. lifts adora’s face up by the chin with the tail end of the sword. and. let me just take a deep breath here. uh. What The Fuck Is That. HELLO?????? why is that. okay. HHHHHH. why!!!! good god!!!!! i hate sexual tension. anyway, catra tells scorpia to carry adora inside bc adora’s not wearing enough layers and she doesn’t want her gf to get cold :( jk but uh, they get adora inside, and catra is once again obsessed with her. she sits right next to her and pines like “always so perfect.... look at you now.... (i HATE how sexual this sounds) you’re coming back to the horde under my command.....” like. COME ON. why is she like this. ur allowed to be evil but i draw the LINE at u flirting with adora she’s not even AWAKE. and scorpia is like. could u. could u not be obsessed w adora for one second? it’s kinda harshing my vibe :/ and catra is like hehe she ra go >:( haha funney. we can turn the rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s Good™ i wonder which of your friends i’ll have you annihilate first... and then she giggles to herself and it’s so cute but babe. once again. stop flirting with adora while she’s out cold she won’t be able to flirt back :( and then the most. upsetting part of the ep happens. catra LEAVES and makes scorpia watch over adora before adora even wakes up so we don’t get! to see! catra with drunk/delirious adora!!!!!! what the FUCK. what is the POINT. i am DISTRAUGHT. hello?????? why were we robbed. whatever. it’s still good but come on not even one scene? :( scorpia is annoyed as she should be and is like UGH just wanted to be alone with catra but nooooo im stuck babysitting her “”””””ex-best friend””””””” which we all know is code for just. ex. LMAO fkdkdkdk like this isn’t even reaching we BEEN knew. anyway adora is being. so cute. so goddamn cute i am in love. adora barely even remembers her name but when scorpia is like hm what’s the passcode to the lab? adora goes BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP and puts in catra’s super long fave number. that is so fucking cute that she knows and remembers that and thinks that catra would use it even tho she’s not even. in the right state of mind. and scorpia gets jealous obviously like ohhhh u know catra’s favorite number and i don’t! u grew up with catra and she’s been in love with you her whole life and i don’t have that! fuck u adora. even when u and catra are fighting each other tryna kill each other u can tell there’s a real bond there :( and like scorpia I’m so sorry baby I know :( they’re in love and it’s very annoying :( and i know adora is very annoying but have you also considered that she is very cute? that she is so lovely? and yeah that’s why catra is in love with her and shit :( seahawk and scorpia fight over adora and adora is like. hehe. catra mean <3 she’s so mean <3 and so hot and cute and sexy <3 omg im gonna marry her hehehehe <3 both sides reconvene to fight the bug, and adora finds glimmer vaguely familiar but doesn’t recognize who she is exactly. but she’ll remember catra’s long ass fave number. ok whore. catra, who’s also stupid, sees adora and is like guess I’ll drop all other priorities to get her! and tells scorpia to find the sword because she’s going after adora again. she’s so determined to keep adora that she.... catches a moving arrow. and throws it away. fjdjdjdjddj DAMN ok sheer gay determination is THAT strong huh. but it’s also sad because catra’s so busy fighting she doesn’t get to see adora being super cute :( it’s fucking wasted and not FAIR. catra thinks it’s funny that anyone would expect her to willingly give the disk up, because she’s got control of adora now, and control of adora means that adora won’t leave her.... which is not healthy :( but also HHHHHH but also it’s okay because their relationship gets healthy in the future and that’s very sexy of them <3 the disk is broken by scorpia in the end, and as adora regains.... conscious???ness????? idk??? her sense of reality??? sobers up???? anyway she and catra exchange this one last very heavy look, right before catra is grabbed by scorpia 9/10, except i want to take away so many points because of the wasted potential, but also i wanna add back so many points because of “looks like you’re mine now, adora ;)”

light spinner: ewwww shadow weaver ewwwww hordak i’m so sorry catra baby so sorry u had to interact with them instead of adora :( 0/10 </3

reunion: I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. THIS EP IS SO GOOD. BUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS. THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS A CATRADORA EVALUATION OK. therefore the rating is.... is..... :( 0/10 :( i know i am distraught too. :( despite what a masterpiece it was... there was no catradora :(

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #yes hello welcome back to whatever the fuck this is <3 #yes i had to put the readmore in the middle. of the 2x01 evaluation #because. it was long. and i don't want the post to look so long on dashes #so please reblog it u guys <3 #i really loved all the replies on my s1 evaluation #i really hope y'all like this one too :( #if u think i am funny please tell me uwu #i love. to read tags #and asks and replies hehe #anyway have fun!

[mrpenguinpants]

Oh! Sorry for the late reply, but it’s not canon lore, haha. Part of me hopes it kinda was just to give Keqing a bit more introspection but alas, Mihoyo has tens of different characters to make so it’s understandable. I thought of it as a modern au type of thing where Keqing ends up moving in a apartment complex only to be greeted with men she has to babysit as the price JHDJSHDJSJ– It’s a fun little idea, and at first, she hates them all but eventually, walking outside of her place for a free meal becomes an escape of sorts. Ningguang, her dreaded co-worker, makes sure she doesn’t hear the end of it and is like “Please, you’re almost 27 nowz. Get yourself a man already, you have quite the options.”

Also, congrats on getting Xiao! I haven’t gotten him yet but at the end of his banner, I think I can make around 20 rolls so here’s hoping he’ll come with those!

No worries at all, I take FOREVER to reply to anyone. Plus this week was midterms so I’m still recovering from that if you’re wondering why I’ve been so silent. Ahh I see, I still need to read Keqing’s lore but until then 👀 I am fully invested in this. We’ll make a 180k word slow burn fic together. Honestly, I really want to write some Chongyun, Xingqiu, Xinyan, and Xiao interactions. My brainworm mind wants Xingqiu to be the biggest little shit and tells Chongyun that there’s a demon that needs to be exorcised at Wangshu inn. Turns out it’s Xiao but Chongyun being the trusting friend that he is, doesn’t believe Xingqiu would lie to me and fully believes Xiao is a demon. Xiao doesn’t know how to socialize and he doesn’t know how to handle interactions so it’s this entire goose chase. Xinyan comes along because she’s always wanted to see a demon. I can imagine her yelling “DEMON! COME OUT YOU COWARD!” while Xiao is gripping onto the roof beam above them for dear life so he doesn’t get found out. 

Ahh, I get that mihoyo wants to bust out new content but it also makes me sad that it will probably be awhile before we get Part 2 to anything. But oh well, I guess we can always make stuff up for part 2′s before Mihoyo proceeds to shred them apart haha. I love modern au, where everything is fine and happy and no one dies. Especially now since we’re all in self-isolation. It’s not much but being able to write is actually kinda therapeutic. Speaking of which, it’s valentines day today. I almost forgot because well, I’m asexual so no relationships for me, so I kinda forgot feb 14 had any importance haha. But hopefully you all that have partners stay safe if you plan on spending today together and for us single folk, hang out with friends^^ I’m having a movie/game night with everyone and I’m pretty excited. 

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But getting back on track. I love roommate schneegans. When I first read this with my sleep deprived brain, I thought you meant that she had to live with the same people she had to babysit when they were children. That’d be so awkward but funny haha. I can imagine Childe being such a wholesome kid like Teucer that when Keqing meets him again when he’s an adult she’s so sad. You were such a cute kid, where did things go wrong? This also applies to Diluc (RIP DILUC MAN) and Kaeya. 

Diluc is so socially constipated that he acts rude af because he doesn’t know how to socialize. Reminds me of the type of guy that is thinking of cute puppies but as the scariest resting bitch face. The amount of emotional range he has makes Keqing wonder if he’s secretly planning on burning the apartment complex down to the ground or if he’s slept in the past week. He hasn’t. Man is crumbling so he’s gonna make the world crumble down with him in his woe is me bullshit (jk I love you Diluc). Keqing makes the customary “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m your new neighbor” but Diluc is actually running on fumes (he’s filter feeding at his point) that he looks so scary that Keqing almost runs away. Then the next day she sees him exit his home and he cleaned up so well that Keqing doesn’t recognize him. Assumed that Diluc lived with a brother that was in dire help. So she always offers him weird pick me up items and Diluc doesn’t know how to handle gifts so he just accepts them. He doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about since he lives alone but he assumes she’s some random cat lady. 

Kaeya is such an ass. Like actually awful. Was the kind of guy to pull the fire alarm just to get out of class for the day. Probably does it in the apartment just to mess with Diluc, which inheritably messes with Keqing very fragile beauty sleep, but he always manages to escape with a slap on the wrist. Keqing has lost so much faith in the justice system after that. He seemed like such a nice guy, well in comparison to her first meetings with Diluc, until he found out she had a fear of frogs and proceeded to mail her a package of them. She’s been haunted by nightmares of waking up to one on her face and she’s wondering if she can get away with setting his home on fire and getting away the same way he does from pulling the fire alarm. It seems like poetic irony but as soon as she thinks this Kaeya is messaging her “don’t do it”. She doesn’t know how he got her phone number and she’s not going to find out. 

Zhongli was the guy she went to highschool with where she had the fattest crush on. He still looks the exact same just taller and she can feel her inner agony seeping up when she spots him. Then proceeds to internally wail when they both enter the elevator and they live on the same floor. She’s internally begging and pleading that Zhongli doesn’t recognize her, but of fucking course he does and he remembers every little detail. The most deadpan face as he asks her if she still has the zhongli pin that some crazy club made for the student council they were both apart of. What pisses her off the most is that he’s actually genuinely curious and isn’t trying to make a stab at her. She hates him with every fiber of her being. 

Childe seemed like such a cute kid (I fully believe he’s younger than Keqing, you cannot take this away from my cold dead heads) and he mentioned how he was moving away from his family but he misses his cute little sisters and brothers. Keqing felt so much wholesome love in her body until Childe mistaken her as being younger than him and messed up her hair. She almost screamed bloody murder but made the quick correction that she was in fact, much older than him. Which was the wrong fucking move because he became the biggest little shit. Kept calling her old with weak bones, “when are you going to fossilize?” that she’s sure if there wasn’t a law against second degree murder, she would do it right then and there. 

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I totally went off on a tangent right there haha. But yeah, I can imagine them all going to each other places for free meals and it’s actually some wholesome stuff. Kaeya and Diluc relive their childhood brother antics, Childe comes from a big family so he doesn’t get sad when he eats alone, Keqing gets to take a break and turn her brain off from work, and Zhongli is just happy to spend time with others after being in self-isolation and losing his wife (Jesus, reading this back I am so sorry Guizhong and Zhongli. This got so depressing holy shit). 

“Please, you’re almost 27 nowz. Get yourself a man already, you have quite the options.” LOL I LOVE THAT SENTENCE HAHA. But ty^^ I’m so glad he came home with diluc. I BELIEVE IN YOU!! YOU’RE GONNA GET HIM. BRING YOUR MAN HOME!! I kinda wanna write some roommate hcs in my brainworm style. I’m going to go write that. Hang on. I’ll be back. 

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Love from me 💕💕💕 

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc headcanons #diluc imagines #genshin kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya headcanons #kaeya imagines #childe #genshin childe #genshin impact childe #childe headcanons #childe imagines #zhongli #genshin zhongli #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli headcanons #zhongli imagines #super big mwah #keqing harem brainrot anon

[mintchochipkookie]

im back bc i also wanna know ur good place opinions!! :D

HI again!! Haha thank you, I love answering these things.

my favorite female character Probably Eleanor. I love love love her character development, and it was really nice to see a female character who is just a mess and kind of an asshole because we don't see that enough. Eleanor is the kind of person you generally see as a male character and hey, women can be awful too! Jk, but not really. She's SUCH a different person by the end of the show, and her progression seems so natural, and she still stays true to herself, you know? I've seen this comparison being made before, but I think it's fairly accurate...Eleanor is like the Jake Peralta of the TGP.

my favorite male character Maybe Michael? If it isn't obvious by now, I am a slut for character development and Michael clearly goes through a ton of change. He gives me a vibe of 'man is just trying his best' and he's quite selfless and he loves his friends so much, it's great. Also, I love Michael and Eleanor's friendship.

my favorite season Hmm probably either S2 or S3.

my favorite episode You know, I'm not sure, but the S1 finale will always be stuck in my brain. It was a great plot twist, very well executed. A weird thing that makes me happy, is that Eleanor is the one who (almost always) figures it out. She's not just a dumb lazy chick ya'no? She's actually really smart, if only she applied herself, and I like that she always puts it together, not Chidi or Tahani.

my favorite cast member Idk a whole lot about any of them tbh, but! This Hot Ones episode made me like Kristen Bell. Also, Manny Jacinto's cheekbones and face in general 💯 like congrats on being effortlessly gorgeous my guy. (He also just seems like a nice, quiet dude lol)

my favorite ship I actually don't have one. Like, there's no romantic relationship I care about that much? Idm Eleanor/Chidi, and Chidi/Simone was cute too. I'm mostly a fan of the friendships everyone has with each other.

a character I’d die defending Honestly, all the main 6 are incredible and I will defend them all. But Jason probably gets the most shit for being "the dumb one" and while I do wish we got MORE for his character, I love him.

a character I just can’t sympathize with Idk if there's anyone? Probably Derek cuz he's just...there.

a character I grew to love Probably Tahani. She's kinda snooty but I love her and her backstory! I really do empathise with her a lot. She also grows so much and is ultimately a really caring friend and does a lot of internalising and self-growth.

my anti otp Don't think there's anything in canon to really dislike?

Send me a fandom ask

#ask #zukoisneverhappy #The Good Place

[foxymoxynoona]

Hi, me again 😶

I appreciate the lengthy answer you gave my ask. (I obviously can't read the tone through text, but you didn't seem as annoyed as i thought you might be(?) so that's a lowkey win for me actually explaining why i sent the first ask(?) Lol)

Also yeah, no, i wasn't 'cockblocked'. Amended isn't a fic i go to for that kind of instant gratification :) Out of all four, it was the only one i actually wanted to read at first (only followed by TL, but not soon after) And it wasn't for the sex, I read the tags.

With that out of the way,

I tried thoroughly answering your answer (lol) but I kept running in circles and not being able to properly articulate what I'm thinking, so I'm just going to write a shorter version :)

I think it does eventually come down to what you said about Amended being intended more for readers who personally relate than for those who don't.

While I've obviously had certain negative life experiences, i doubt they can be seen as traumatic. Or if they can, they're nowhere near Isabella's level. I suppose i've also had different coping mechanisms than her so that's probably another one of the reasons I didn't think all of her reactions were justified. It's all a question of whether it made sense to me or not. Did jk's behavior look faultless to me? No. But I could understand jk's p.o.v more than hers, even if he was wrong in some of his assumptions and didn't voice them calmly. Sometimes I wish they could read each other's minds..

I did, however, understand the analogies you made and they did give me a better understanding of why she acts the way she does.

Honestly I was surprised there even was another sex scene in this chapter. Thought they'd talk about it properly before attempting again. But noPe :) I'm rather apprehensive about the date and how Jungkook's.. "plans" are going to go, considering everything..

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I do appreciate you truthfully picturing the process of her overcoming parts of her past trauma and learning that it's okay to trust someone again. It's just quite difficult to grasp the depth and gravity of her trauma from an.. "outsider" 's perspective 😅

-👀

Hello again 👀!

First, I do want to apologize that my joke about being cockblocked sounds like it landed poorly. I had not read your initial comment as being very serious (since it just said you were annoyed with Isabella) so I responded in what I understand the tone to be. I'm sorry I misunderstood that initial ask!

Second of all, I'm not annoyed! I find and hope all these discussions are actually useful for anyone reading. Mental health is a big, huge aspect of life that I just feel like is so poorly represented or discussed. I have had serious anxiety all my life (without even knowing it! I thought that's just how everyone's brain worked!) but when I had my first major depressive episode, I remember after I was out of it being like: holy shit. I did not understand what depression was before this! Even now, it's hard for me to fully recall how utterly potato I was because it seems impossible that I was that way but I was! Our brains map the world and our place in it, and it can be challenging to get into the head of someone whose brain functions very differently than our own. So that's all to say, I think talking about these things is valuable to broaden our own understanding of ourselves and the people around us who navigate the world differently than we may.

One thing I think is worth pointing out in this story too that hasn't actually come up tonight: JK in this story also has trauma. And he also went through a period of deep pain that caused him to isolate himself and hurt the people around him badly. And his traumas still influence how he behaves. Isabella is his first "real" relationship. Remember how hurt Miranda was when he committed to her without committing to her?? And then didn't tell her he'd fucking gotten MARRIED? We just are seeing JK further along in his healing journey because he has been in a safe, loving, supportive place for far longer than Isabella has, and he always had family love and support, even at his worst (in high school when he really hurt Isabella). Isabella didn't have that. She has been alone and is now having to learn how to function without being in survival mode all the time. It may be worth everyone remembering that this isn't a story where JK stumbled into what is definitely a relationship with someone only starting to process intense trauma. He went into this eyes wide open, and with his own experience helping him understand the fear, and the loneliness. He's not actually a saint, he's just been through something similar and he understands (at least a little) and he loves her.

As for coping mechanisms, that's another good point: they're different for everyone and just like love languages, we can most easily understand behavior similar to our own. I love learning more about the way people work, and I hope my stories can help readers learn more beyond their own experiences or patterns as well, like how to recognize other love languages or coping or defense mechanisms.

Jimin actually called JK out on one of his this chapter: "you'll have sex with her before you love her because you're confident about sex." Is it worth thinking how different this story might be if Jungkook had been honest with Isabella at any point in their relationship about the love and guilt and regret he has from how he treated her when they were younger? Maybe not, but maybe!

And finally, as for sex: I had actually expected a lot of people to be upset about them having sex before they'd resolved more, haha. Because it's totally fair to theorize they jumped the gun getting physical! But they did it! Because they're horny for each other! It was a big step forward though before they were really ready to talk about some of the Big Feelings that might come up for either of them. They are a couple that tends to take a big leap and then scramble to figure out wtf they just did

Anyway, hope all this gives some more food for thought!

#👀anon #amended #asks

[lovemesomesurveys]

Thought I Couldn't Top It, Huh? OVER 2000 Questions! (Truly the Longest!) Created by distortedcognition

Part 14 Which Age is this Appropriate For... Radios. Whenever. Gardening. I know that elementary school kids do gardening projects sometimes, so as long as they have adult supervision and help when using the gardening tools and they’re able to use them properly I don’t see a problem. Lava lamps. I had one when I was a kid. Black lights. Uhh, I don’t see why a kid or teenager would have a use for one, but a teen could I guess. Hovercrafts. Teenager. Cars. When they’re the legal age to get their permit and license at least. And responsible enough. Not all teenagers should be out on the road that’s for sure, but there’s a lot of adults who shouldn’t be either. Spaghetti straps. Teenager. Hopscotch. As soon as they can walk? My Little Pony. Whenever.

Barbies. Whenever. Tonka trucks. Whenever. Edgar Allan Poe. Probably teenager to likely understand it better. MySpace. Social media should be teenager at least. The Internet in general. Kids can use it, but with parental guidance and have all the safety settings in place. The time should be limited as well, and educational stuff included. Neopets. Again, kids can use stuff like that just be monitored.  Quizilla. Teenager. Vampirefreaks. Teenager. Disney. Same thing I’ve said already about kids using the internet. Lizzie McGuire. Teenagers would probably enjoy it more, but it’s also kid appropriate I think. Beauty and the Beast. Kids can watch it if they want. Elton John. I mean, whenever really. I don’t find his music to be inappropriate. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Again, whenever really. Probably nice to start young children on classical music. Bauhaus. I don’t know what that is. Satanism. Uh, I would say never. Biolage. ?? Hair curlers. Whenever. Hairspray. I mean, I guess whenever but I don’t see why a kid would need to. I guess in some cases if they’re like a cheerleadr, ballet dancer, etc where they have to have their hair done and kept in place. Nail polish. I don’t see an issue with kids wearing it. Short skirts. I’d say young adult. Bikinis. I’d say young adult as well, but I guess mid to late teens. Tanning. When done right and safe, I don’t see why a teen couldn’t get a natural tan or use some tanning lotion. I don’t see the need for spray tans and tanning beds, personally. Fun. Uh, all ages? When to form your own band. Teenager. Playing the piano. Kid. But if that’s what they want to do, not something they’re pressured to do by their parents. It should be fun and encouraged, not something forced. Staying home alone. Teenager and if they’re responsible enough to do so.  Videogames. Depends on the type of game. Dora the Explorer. Kids. The Little Mermaid. Kids. Eminem. Teenager. PLAGIARIZING. No one should. Voting. 18. Perfume. Probably teenager, but I would say body spray over perfume at that age. Makeup. Teenager. Accessorizing. Whenever. Finding Nemo. Whenever. Pirates of the Caribbean. Whenever. Swearing. I would say adult, but we know that’s not happening. Going to war. At least 18 I guess. Sports. Whenever, just if it’s done safe and age appropriate.  Having a child. Adult who is responsible and ready to do so would be ideal. Getting married. Adult. Living on your own. Adult. Teen Spirit. Teen?

Lady Speed Stick. Oh, Teen Spirit the deodorant haha I’m dumb. Anyway, whenever they hit puberty and start needing it. Cologne. Teenager. NASA. Adult.

Going on a cruise. Whenever. College. Young adult and up is how it usually goes, but some teenagers are able to get into college. Graduating from high school. Teen. Going to the movies without a parent. Teen. Santa Claus. Hey, as long as you want. Easter Bunny. Whenever. Tooth fairy. Whenever. Bird watching. Whenever, I guess? Coin collecting. Whenever. Housekeeping. You can give kids light chores, nothing too crazy. Like to pick up their toys. Pink Panther. Whenever. Sherlock Holmes. Probably middle school school and up. Oscar Wilde. Teenager. RL Stine. I was reading Goosebumps in elementary school. Lemony Snicket. Elementary school. JK Rowling. Elementary school. Terry Brooks. Not sure who that is. Alvin Schwartz. ^^^ JRR Tolkein Probably teenager. Charles Dickens. Probably middle school. Ernest Hemingway. Middle school. Green Day. Teenager. Ghost stories. I mean, it can. be fun for kids but keep it light and appropriate and if they’re scared then obviously stop.  Law and Order: SVU. Teenager. Campfires. Kids can do it if they’re with adult supervision. Sleepovers. Kids. Sleepover parties. What’s the difference? American Idol. Whenever.

Freckles. Whenever?? That’s not something you can control and they’re just freckles... Whitened teeth. Teenager at least. Plastic surgery. Adult. Community service. Depends on what they’re doing. I did some volunteer work as a Girl Scout when I was a kid. What will Happen/How will the world End? **I’m skipping this.** Giant tornado. Nuclear war. Giant tsunami. A title wave. An asteroid. Explosion of the sun. Giant volcanic erruption. Giant freak afternoon tea accident. Giant missile crisis. Another Great Depression. Only worse. Earthquake. Penguins will take over the world. Parrots become the dominant. Alien invasion. Bigfoot will invite his pals over, Bighead, Bighands, and Bigtummy. Lochness monster will have children. Everyone will turn cannibalistic. Everyone will run out of natural resources. Third Ice Age. Global warming. Precambrian Eon will return. Toxic fumes. Disappearing water. Planet collision. Termites. George W. Bush will get a third reelection. Everyone will commit suicide. Intergalactic highway construction. Intergalactic spies like Kiri will take over. PLAGIARISTS will rule the world. Lions will eat us all. Cockroaches will rule the world. A pandemic. The Black Plague will avenge itself. Mythical creatures will come back and reclaim their world. The Big Bang will reoccur. Pesticide will kill all the insects in the world. The Earth will spontaneously combust. The world will collapse. Genocide. All the money will burn. Cell phones really did cause brain tumors. Karma will kill us. All the stars in the universe will explode at once. Ghosts will kill us. A giant fan will blow us away. Pizza Hut will explode. Hair curlers will burn us all. Everyone will get a perm and die of fright from looking at each other. Grandmas will turn rabid. PLAGIARISTS will make Reko and Kiri angry. The Mohorovicic Discontinuity will disappear. Daddy Long Legs will get a larger mouth. People get so lazy that their lawn will grow too high to allow sunlight in. Twinkle will succeed as a dictator. Star will become president. Biotech disaster. People will not actually save money switching to Geico. Cingular and Verizon will never join. Pollution. Giant feet. o.o Everyone will become a movie copycat. Pandemonium at football games will get a little too extreme.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #over 2000 questions survey series part 14 #about me #long survey

[biletdoux]

ult tag game!

tagged by: @odentist​ <333

tagging: @adamfoolcry and anyone who wants to do it!!

rules: answer the following questions for you ult group

hmm, technically it’s nct as a whole, but that’s cheating,,,, so i will settle for 127

1. who was your first bias?

taeyong! his other worldly and ethereal beauty caught my eye and got me interested in nct in the first place haha

2. who is your bias now?

jaehyun, unfortunately.... jk jk jk, i love my peach boy but i just can’t take too much jaehyun content, he makes my brain overheat or some shit lmao. i like that he’s just unbothered all the time. like honestly just vibing 24/7 and i respect that. i also think he has an underrated type of humor that i like lol

3. what was the first mv you watched by them?

firetruck! i followed them since the beginning, but didn’t get really into them until 2018. firetruck is an absolute bop tho.

3. what’s your favorite mv?

definitely limitless (rough ver.) an absolute masterpiece of an mv. like the vibes of the whole thing??? unmatched. like the entire grunge vcr camcorder aesthetics with the boys doing random stupid shit?? truly ahead of its time. a close second is limitless jap. ver because the aesthetics are just so next level. and jaehyun looked the best here imo

4. if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, what would it be?

title track would be limitless (can you tell i’m ride or die for limitless??), but b side would be love song for sure

5. who would you want to see them collab with?

uh i don’t really know tbh, like as a whole group maybe red velvet? or stray kids. idk lol

6. what mv concept do you want to see them do?

LMAO i wanna see them do something like exo’s wolf + growl drama mv. like i wanna see taeyong and doyoung/jaehyun fight over a girl and then a gang comes in and kidnaps the girl so they have to set aside their differences to rescue the girl or smth like that hahahahaha. since exo did werewolves, nct can be vampires lmaoooo

7. if you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

johnny. i think he’s cool and me and him would vibe honestly. maybe. i’d go explore the city with him or something

8. which member do you think you’d get along with best?

uhhh. prob johnny. we just mind our own businesses i feel like. jaehyun’s personality is cool too i just can only handle him in small doses at a time

9. which member do you think you’d argue with the most?

haechan. he’s loud and proud and is sometimes Too Much. which is not a bad thing, but when i’m in a bad mood that would bug me. like no hate toward him at all

10. if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

taeil! i feel like he’d judge me the least out of everybody lol

#tag games

[theuntamedproject]

"If the face says nothing, listen to the heartbeat" - Lan WangJi, Mo Dao Zu Shi (Weeks 3+4)

https://zhtheuntamedprojec.wixsite.com/theuntamedproject 

... those who have read the novel know the real context of this line in the scene BUT taken out of context and used in a completely different (*cough* our) scenario..."If the face says nothing," translates to "Even if we seem calm on the outside,""listen to the heartbeat." translates to "we're so stressed to the point of ventricular fibrillation." (dunno if that's even a likely story but the overly exaggerated point still stands: we just handed our uni applications in and we're dreading admission tests and awaiting interviews...)

Quick overview

So aside from school work and university prep, TUP has taken up whatever spare moment either one of us has. However since Zara's Physics coursework began (good luck Zara!!) and both of us prepping for our respective admissions tests, we've decided instead of marching onwards with research on architecture and other food science related stuff, to settle on more relaxed Google seshes on MDZS (and totally not using this as an excuse to read the source text again) and beginning to design the buildings on CAD and paper.

So I'm going to introduce to you the barebones framework of what we plan to include in the design: characters, buildings and effects~ apologies in advance for not including the accents/tones in names (I cba tbh ;-; )

Characters

Because all these little dudes are just going to be cut out gingerbread men, we could include as many characters as possible (we did say we're making a universe are we not?). Those in italics are "maybe" characters depending on the dough remaining (or whether we like them to be part of the universe or not...) or how much gingerbread we're willing to eat ourselves (though huge shout out to everyone thats offered to eat our spare and broken gingerbread during materials testing - which I will get to a bit later :3)

Gusu Lan (the pretty sect)

Lan XiChen / Lan Huan (Sect Leader - simped so hard for his sworn brothers that both of them ended up dead)

Lan WangJi / Lan Zhan (repressed gay but we love him still)

Lan Yuan / Lan Sizhui (he's part of the Lan sect now goddamnit)

Lan JingYi (the most unLan Lan yet has the highest chance of being the next sect leader lmaoo)

Lan QiRen

Lan Yi / Lan An

QingHeng-Jun (Twin Jades' father)

Madam Lan (Twin Jades' mother)

Yunmeng Jiang (arguably the only "normal" sect here...)

Jiang Cheng / Jiang Wanyin (Sect Leader also an "angry grape" as put by Zara)

Jiang YanLi (OUR QUEEN)

Jiang FengMian (loved Wei Ying more than Jiang Cheng lol jk xd)

Yu ZiYuan (BAMF)

Wei Ying not included here since technically he defected from the Sect (; - ;)

Qinghe Nie (fans and sabers my bros)

Nie HuaiSang (Sect Leader - yeah, I can't believe it either)

Nie MingJue (noooooooooo)

Honestly, I swear this clan is either "big muscles or big brain?". If you have neither, you can't be part of their clique. I mean sect.

Lanling Jin (rich rich rich rich rich)

Jin Ling / Jin RuLan (Sect Leader - totally not named after Wei Ying's crush/ husband's family)

Jin GuangYao / Meng Yao (*smiles*)

Jin ZiXuan (peacock but JYL's husband nonetheless)

Jin GuangShan (gross)

Jin ZiXun (double gross)

Mo XuanYu (literally did not sign up to any of this. He just wanted to end his suffering at Mo Manor)

We decided against including everyone from Mo Manor since they literally died within the first few chapters of the novel / first episode of the drama so were kinda irrelevant. Also, we don't care about them like we care for the Lan Sect members either.

Off topic side rant, Zara has been on my case whenever I bring up Jin GuangYao. I have to say, he's way more lovable in the drama than in the novel (didn't really leave much of an impression on me in the novel, NHS did a better job at that). I'm here to briefly explain why this boy is misunderstood and deserved more than what he got (and also why you should love him because he deserves love).JGY is a poor soul who's goal in life was to please others because no one was ever satisfied with him. His mother wasn't satisfied. His father wasn't satisfied. Hell, even his sworn brother NMJ wasn't satisfied with him eventually. BUT GUESS WHAT Xichen the angel is the only person that showed any love or thanks to JGY that's why he didn't kill him in the end - he wouldn't kill people that actually cared about him. IF ONLY EVERYONE ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO HOW CLEVER AND CUNNING THIS MAN WAS, THERE MAY NOT EVEN BE WENS THREATENING THE WORLD. end of brief rant.

Qishan Wen (too hot, hot damn)

Wen RuoHan (Sect Leader - could have taken over the world if his children weren't incompetent)

Wen Qing (half the reason why included this sect)

Wen Ning / Wen QiongLin (the other half of the reason)

Wen Yuan (WE NEED THIS BABIE ALONGSIDE SIZHUI OK)

Wen Chao (questionable)

Wen ZhuLiu (also questionable but less annoying than Wen Chao)

Rogue cultivators (including people we didn't really know where to put)

Wei WuXian / Wei Ying (Can work out how to cultivate resentful energy, fight against the biggest cultivation clans in the world and gain a formidable reputation as the Yiling Patriarch yet can't figure out that Lan Zhan has a crush on him. Makes it look like cultivating resentful energy is easy as pie.)

CangSe SanRen (Wei Ying's mother)

Wei ChangZe (Wei Ying's father)

Xiao XingChen (honestly, the nicest guy ever. Could rival Xichen in terms of kindness. But then again... where did that kindness lead either of them? Moral of story: screw kindness)

Song Lan (Wen Ning's dead buddy~)

Xue Yang (he was cool in the novel, a bit questionable in the drama ngl)

A-Qing (didn't report her situation to the police...)

Baoshan Sanren (without knowledge of her existence, Jiang Cheng may have given up on life after he lost his golden core)

Ouyang ZiZhen (I didn't know who he was at all from the novel (ie he left no impression) but since he's technically part of the juniors, we have to include him)

Wang Ling Jiao / Jiao Jiao (just so Wen Chao has a friend perhaps... I don't know if we're that kind)

Su She (ew. just. He's not our favourite. The whole thing could have gone smoother if he didn't exist)

Luo Qingyang / Mian Mian (that one girl that made Wei Ying think Lan Zhan was straight)

Whew! That's all the character's we've considered! We have yet to come up with individual designs for the clothes and what not but at least we know there are going to be straight up cutting them out using the gingerbread man cutters.

Also! let's not forget:

Li'l Apple (didn't sign up for any of this either)

Fairy (gift from JGY to JL, also good doggo)

All the bunnies in Gusu (yes.)

All the fans and sabers in Qinghe (it's part of their aesthetic)

Locations and Buildings

This section's going to be MUCH shorter than the previous one haha since we've basically come up with 5 main buildings and in 7 locations. We're planning these buildings to be architectural masterpieces (okay, that's a slight exaggeration but that's the point). These buildings will take SIGNIFICANTLY more time than the gingerbread characters and is the reason we've put so much effort into researching what would make the most stable type of building. This is because we've planned to mirror the buildings as close as possible to the drama. We haven't yet drawn 2D sketches as I've left that job mostly to Zara (sorry!) so it's sort of hard to describe in words but by next post, we hope to have these down~ (though please see the mood boards from Zara's post previously)~

Gusu Lan - Cloud Recesses

The Wall of Discipline

The Courtyard

The Orchid Room (the main classroom/hall)

Yunmeng Jiang - Lotus Pier

The Main Pier

Lotus Pod Lake

Qinghe Nie - The Unclean Realm

The Main Courtyard and stairs

Lanling Jin - Koi Tower

Koi Tower

Qishan Wen - Nightless City

Main building and stairs

Yiling - Burial Grounds

The Mountains (and farms/Wen settlements)

Demon-Slaughtering Cave

And of course, Yi City.

We don't know if we want to include any more places but we'll let you know if there are any changes to this list. Plus the effects of LEDs and other arts and craft jazz besides gingerbread, we plan to make sure each Sect get's their own spotlight~

Please enjoy our baby Cloud Recesses, they're going to grow up and be a fine specimen of society worthy of the Lan name :D

The plan going forward

Although unfortunately, things haven't gone totally to plan due to fairly busy circumstances, we still have some major events along the way before starting to build the whole thing (which would probably be around mid-to-end of December) which have indeed started preparing for. Including:

Material testing gingerbread and icing (ie finally, bringing our research to the real world) - a lot of gingerbread will be made, so thank you to the willing volunteers who wanted to eat our failed experiments!

Finding / creating a suitable recipe for the gingerbread people

2D and 3D sketches of the buildings

Designing costumes for the gingerbread people

Another thing that we kinda want to do is to make this project benefit the wider community (we wanted to set up a GoFundMe at some point and raise some money for charity~). But we don't know how to do that as of yet T-T . Any ideas, feel free to contact us and let us know! We want to help others through this project (if at all possible haha)!

#mdzs #update #characters #gingerbread #gusulan #yunmengjiang #qinghenie #lanlingjin #qishanwen #weiying #lanzhan