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thatoneluckybee · 5 months

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Noticed a strange trend and wanting to test something…

Feel free to reblog for sample size—and feel free to explain further in tags, text reblogs, and replies if you vote! Also please say whether you found it helpful or not (if you read it) if you want; personally, I never do. Just curious about a trend.

(ALSO feel free to tag with any type of neurodivergence or tag or whatever! I cannot reasonably think of every tag or way to be neurodivergent so feel free to help with your tagging! And if a single one of you is ableist towards any form of neurodivergence on this post I will joyously smite you into the sun.)

#have seen a lot of people say that they have gotten these as terrible or good gifts lol #especially neurodivergent people and friends!#me personally I got that 7 Habits of Highly Successful People and a bunch of Love Languages for Teenagers from my parents after a #particularly bad meltdown #nothing is funnier to me #they also send me articles about how people who are “gifted” or “of high intellect” (usually BS articles with no scientific or accurate #backing) may have emotional difficulties and anxieties and how we can fix it with mindfulness and meditation :D #apparently a lot of other neurodivergent people—whether the giftgiver is AWARE of this neurodivergence or not—have also got these things??#idk its just really funny to me idk why #poll #polls #save for later #adhd #autism #actually autistic #actually adhd #borderline personality disorder #bpd #bipolor #bipolar disorder #depression #major depressive disorder #seasonal depressive disorder #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #anxiety disorder #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodivergence

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theambitiouswoman · 5 months

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Book Recommendations 📚📒

Business and Leadership:

"Good to Great" by Jim Collins

"The Lean Startup" by Eric Ries

"Zero to One" by Peter Thiel

"Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek

"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell

Success and Personal Development:

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey

"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear

"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth

"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg

Mental Health and Well-being:

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

"Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley

Goal Setting and Achievement:

"Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want—Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible" by Brian Tracy

"The 12 Week Year" by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink

"The One Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

"Smarter Faster Better" by Charles Duhigg

Relationships and Communication:

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan

"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg

"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Gray

Self-Help and Personal Growth:

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson

"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins

"The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod

"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero

Science and Popular Science:

"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari

"The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot

"Cosmos" by Carl Sagan

"A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson

"The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins

Health and Nutrition:

"The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell II

"In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan

"Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker

"Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall

"The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan

Fiction and Literature:

"To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee

"1984" by George Orwell

"The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger

"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen

#books #books and reading #reading #goodreads #bookshelf #bookish #readersofinstagram #reading list #personal improvement #personal development #life advice #advice

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femmefatalevibe · 2 years

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Femme Fatale Booklist:

Books to become your dream girl. This list is curated to unleash the empowered woman inside, tap into your dark feminine energy, and help you succeed in every area of life. Sections are listed below:

Self-Development/Mindset

Seductive Psychology

Femme Fatale/Dark Feminine/Feminist Reads

Business/Finance/Entrepreneurship

Productivity

Mental Health

Physical Health

Fashion & Beauty

Get educated. Expand your mind. Enjoy xx

Self-Development/Mindset:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

Atomic Habits by James Clear

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen

The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery by Brianna Wiest

Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole

The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin by Patrick King

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out by Kindra Hall

When You’re Ready, This Is How To Heal by Brianna Wiest

Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What by Sterling Hawkins

The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves by Shawn Ginwright

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Seductive Psychology:

48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Mastery by Robert Greene

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Power vs. Force by David Hawkins

Femme Fatale/Dark Feminine/Feminist Reads:

Unbound: A Woman’s Guide To Power by Kasia Urbaniak

Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov

A Single Revolution by Shani Silver

This Is Your Brain On Birth Control by Sarah Hill

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler

Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Me by Caroline Criado Perez

Women Who Run With The Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir

The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone De Beauvoir

A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf

Women & Power: A Manifesto by Mary Beard

Spinster by Kate Bolick

What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind by Debra Ollivier

Living Forever Chic: Frenchwomen's Timeless Secrets for Everyday Elegance, Gracious Entertaining, and Enduring Allure by Tish Jett

Business/Finance/Entrepreneurship:

Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

The 2-Hour Cocktail Party by Nick Gray

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Girl On Fire by Cara Alwill Leyba

Women, Work & the Art of Savoir Faire: Business Sense & Sensibility by Mireille Guiliano

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Joseph Grenny

Living On Purpose: Five Deliberate Choices to Realize Fulfillment by Amy Eliza Wong

The Earned Life: Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment by Marshall Goldsmith

The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit by Mel Robbins

Building a Second Brain: A Proven Method to Organize Your Digital Life and Unlock Your Creative Potential by Tiago Forte

The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle

Rich As F*ck: More Money Than You Know What to Do With by Amanda Frances

Rich Bitch by Nicole Lapin

Like She Owns the Place by Cara Alwill Leyba

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport

The First Minute: How To Start Conversations That Get Results by Chris Fenning

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making by Tony Fadell

The Hard About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz

The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by Morgan Housel

Productivity:

The Science of Self-Discipline: The Willpower, Mental Toughness, and Self-Control to Resist Temptation and Achieve Your Goals by Peter Hollins

Free Time: Lose The Busy Work, Love Your Business by Jenny Blake

Vision to Reality: Stop Working, Start Living by Curtis Jenkins

Deep Work: Rules For Focused Success in A Distracted World by Cal Newport

Finish What You Start by Peter Hollins

Mental Health:

Becoming The One by Sheleana Aiyana

Attached by Amir Levine

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns

Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie

Take Your Lunch Break by Massoma Alam Chohan

Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan A. Bush

Radical Acceptance: Awakening The Love That Heals Fear and Shame by Tara Brach

Recovery from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency & Complex PTSD by Don Barlow

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Inner Child Recovery Work with Radical Self-Compassion by Don Barlow

What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Physical Health:

The China Study by T. Collin Campbell

The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner

How Not To Die by Dr. Michael Greger

Befriending Your Body by Ann Saffi Biasetti

Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen

The Power of Self-Discipline by Peter Hollins

Fit at Any Age: It's Never Too Late by Susan Niebergall

French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano

The Archetype Diet by Dana James

Fashion & Beauty:

The Lucky Shopping Manual: Building and Improving Your Wardrobe Piece by Piece by Andrea Linett & Kim France

Dress Like A Parisian by Alois Guinut

Parisian Chic by Ines de la Fressange & Sophie Gachet

Why French Women Wear Vintage: And other secrets of sustainable style by Alois Guinut

Ageless Beauty the French Way: Secrets from Three Generations of French Beauty Editors by Clemence von Mueffling

Skincare: The Ultimate No-Nonsense Guide by Caroline Hirons

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photogirl894 · 11 months

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Hi! Would you be okay with writing the fake boyfriend story but with Hunter instead? I love your writing!

Oooh this is a fun and interesting request! Thank you, anon! Sorry this took me a while to get to!

I'll go ahead and just use the same prompt from the original "Fake Boyfriend" Crosshair fic and I'm gonna change up the plot just a little bit so it's not entirely the same story! There will be a couple of lines and references I'll keep for the fun of it, though 😊

"Fake Boyfriend 2.0"

7. Putting someone behind them to protect them

Pairing: Hunter x fem reader

***

Another successful mission was under your belt for you and your squad, the Bad Batch. You were all back on Ord Mantell at Cid's parlor and wanted to just take some down time, getting drinks and relaxing before Cid threw another mission at you. You were sitting on a barstool with your back to the bar and Hunter was next to you, his arm draped across the bar behind you. He might as well have had his arm around you with how close his hand was to your arm. You and Hunter had a habit of flirting with each other quite a bit, but you had the feeling that it wasn't anything serious for him. He probably saw it as just playful fun, though it definitely was real for you. You'd developed feelings for him a long time ago, but he was so caught up in leading his squad and protecting all of you that he most likely didn't have time or room in his mind for any sort of romantic feelings. That's probably why the flirting was just fine for him and, even though you felt nothing would come of it, you accepted it.

After finishing your drink, you started feeling a bit antsy and didn't want to sit around, especially after being on a ship for hours, so you decided to take a quick walk. You hopped off your seat and announced to the boys that you'd be back in a few after getting some air.

Hunter laid his hand on your shoulder and said to you, "Be careful out there."

"Why? Afraid I'll get lost?" you asked with a grin.

"If you do, you know I'll always find you," he said, smiling sweetly at you that caused butterflies to flutter about in your stomach.

You quickly turned away so he couldn't see the blush rising up on your face and briskly walked out of the parlor. The atmosphere wasn't as clear and refreshing as some other planets, but it was still tolerable. The people were about the same, as well. Most just kept their heads down or maybe looked at you suspiciously, but said nothing. You had learned to just ignore them.

You'd been walking for a few minutes on the streets when you heard sounds behind you. You turned around and didn't see anyone or anything behind you. However, when you turned back, there was a man suddenly in front of you; a human man who had a highly unsavory look in his eyes and in the way he stared down at you.

"Well, hello, gorgeous," he commented to you, his tongue flickering out ever so slightly over his lips.

"Um...can I help you?" you asked flatly, taking a step back.

"I think you can," he answered, inching his way forward. "You see, I'm feeling kind of lonely tonight. Care to keep me company?"

You opened your mouth to respond to him, but another masculine voice you knew well spoke up behind you, answering him, "She's already otherwise engaged for the night." Just then, Hunter appeared next to you and he protectively moved you behind him as he stepped forward to face the man in front of you.

The lascivious expression vanished from the stranger's face at seeing another man come to your aid. "Who are you?" he questioned.

With no hesitation, Hunter answered, "I'm her boyfriend."

Your jaw almost dropped, stunned at what you'd heard. You couldn't have heard him right....

Then he kept going, "She's my girl and I suggest you get lost and move along...while you can still walk."

Displeased at being interrupted before he could get his hands on you, the stranger sneered at Hunter, cast an irritated look at you and then walked away, waving a dismissive hand as he left.

Once you both were sure the guy was gone, Hunter turned back to you and laid his hands on your arms. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. He just severely creeped me out," you told him. He gently nudged you forward and the two of you began walking back in the direction of Cid's bar. "Thank you for stepping in," you said as you walked.

"Always," he replied.

"Didn't expect you to pull the 'fake boyfriend' card, though," you told him.

"I thought that was the best way to get rid of him," he explained.

Your grin faltered. For a second, you had hoped that maybe there was more behind his choice of action, but you should've known better.

Though, your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Hunter. "What's wrong?" he asked you.

Even though you didn't want to tell him, you knew he'd seen your face and he wouldn't let it go, not when it was clear you were unhappy. So you admitted to him, "I guess...I just had hoped that maybe...maybe it could be real...instead of fake."

When you looked back, he suddenly wasn't next to you, but had stopped a few steps back, his eyes narrowed slightly in surprise. "You...you really want that?" he asked, seemingly dumbfounded, as you turned to face him.

You gave a shy nod and a shrug. "Yeah...I mean, we flirt constantly and I keep thinking that maybe you'd want something like that, too, but I'm sure it's all been just for fun for you and you wouldn't want anything serious. Which I understand if that's the case."

"That's not true."

"Wait...it's not?"

He slowly approached you. "I only flirt with you...and I do it because I want to. I just haven't figured out the best way to tell you and I hoped that maybe I could get my interest across that way."

"You...you've been interested in me? This whole time?" you inquired, a warm feeling of hope beginning to rise inside you.

"Yes," he said, his voice low, as he brought a hand to your cheek.

Then Hunter came forward and suddenly, his lips were pressed to yours in a way that nearly made your legs give way. They probably would have had Hunter's other arm not held you up by the waist, pressed up against him.

As he broke the kiss, he spoke, "I've only ever wanted you...and no one else."

"Only me?" you asked in a slightly dreamy tone, your head still reeling from the fact that he had just kissed you.

"Do you not believe me?" he asked, his lips twitching upward.

You smirked back at him. "I might need a little extra convincing."

That was then how you found yourself pushed up against a wall of a nearby alley and making out passionately with Hunter...until the rest of the boys eventually came out looking for you and found you there.

"Hey! I thought you said you were taking a walk and getting some air?" Wrecker questioned as you both jumped apart.

"She wanted some of Hunter's air, it seems," Echo teased.

You shyly hid your face in Hunter's shoulder with a small laugh, but the rest of the squad seemed pretty happy about the two of you as he kissed the top of your head. You walked back to the Marauder hand in hand with Hunter...the two of you now officially a couple, just like you always wanted.

Photogirl894's Physical Affection Prompts

Photogirl894's 1,000 Followers fics

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch hunter #bad batch prompts #hunter x reader #photogirl894 1000 followers

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inked-up-gentleman · 3 months

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Favorite book? What are you currently reading?

I don't think I could pick a single favorite.

Right now I'm reading The Last Days by Adam Nevill and The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Convey. I'm also trying to get through A God In The Shed but it's just not gripping me

#anon #ask

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c-130jsuperhercules · 5 months

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i think, of the Ferengi rules of acquisition, numbers 34 and 35(war is good for business/peace is good for business) are probably my favorite ones bc I think it's a clever way to say "when in Rome, do as the romans do" through a ferengi cultural lens, so to speak. Because it's not that they contradict each other, it's because they perfectly complement each other to sort of sidestep the idea of whether peace or war is good or bad for ferengis, and instead pose a third idea; that being that the good, profit seeking ferengis, would change their ways during each period in order to maximize growth and revenue.

Especially during the dominion war during ds9, i think this helps to neatly tie a bow on the Ferengi attitude about the whole thing, or perhaps what they feel their role is in it, not so much acting as soldiers or conquerors, but as the men selling shovels to gold prospectors in 1800s California, so to speak. Plus, these rules were invoked* by Quark, during a conversation where he also talks about how excited he was to cater to the cardassians, the former(ish) enemies of the current masters of deep space nine, the federation. With a certain fearlessness or anger, too, that sort of implied he had no strong lean towards one or the other, with his main focus being, again, PROFIT.

But, more to the point of the two rules being what they are, two separate rules one after each other, not simply a single rule saying "peace or war, make your profits soar" or something like that, I think help to make ferengis renowned for their cunning. Because I think them being separate helps to further the idea that the two concepts are separate and should be treated differently. Like, you could say that the rule is talking about two material goods you can sell, peace and war. They have to be able to decide and then act on which of the two would make them the most profit, and then work on selling it. If war is most profitable to you(desperate buyers), then sell(and propagate) war, but if peace is most profitable to you(far safer supply lines and steady contact with regular customers) then sell peace. That cunning and business sense is why I think they make such a good third party to the Dominion and the Federation, acting not as support or opposition, but as a sidling, neutral bystander observing and influencing from the inside, ready to leap to the side of whoever will benefit them the most.

*I say invoked because it does feel like they are quoting scripture, written by someone with cultural authority over them. it's hard to call it purely a rule book, or purely just an advice column, because there are rules that both inhibit a ferengi, and releases them towards ultimately seeking profit** And they follow this path that the Rules outline, with a fervency one would normally expect from a Benedictine monk

**I'm thinking specifically about the rule of acquisition #109: dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. it is both discouraging seeking dignity over profit, and putting shame on having no money, thereby pushing a follower towards seeking profit. It is, of course, advice you could also find in a magazine for very shrewd people, but cased inside a doctrine that is spread around the planet, taught in schools, drilled into the mind of every ferengi. It isn't just someone quoting a passage from 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, it's more akin to someone quoting a Bible verse or something.

#txt #star trek #ferengi #idk i just think ds9 did a great job of characterizing and fleshing out the ferengi belief system #sorry for the rant im high BUT I STILL STAND BY WHAT I SAID whatevr is it is i said

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allaboutthemoonlight · 1 day

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5 Time Management Books To Help You With Your Productivity

To go along with my last post, here are 5 highly recommended time management and productivity books that I find beneficial for anyone. These 5 books have provided some valuable insight for me and helped me to improve my time management skills as well as enhance my productivity.

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity — David Allen: Offers practical techniques for organizing tasks, managing priorities, and achieving stress-free productivity in both professional and personal life.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones — James Clear: Provides actionable advice on how to create and maintain positive habits, break destructive ones, and ultimately improve productivity and effectiveness.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World — Cal Newport: Talks about deep, concentrated work and how to leverage that in today's distracted world, offers strategies for creating focus and maximizing productivity despite being surrounded by constant interruption.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change — Stephen R. Covey:Outlines seven principles for personal and professional effectiveness, including prioritization, goal setting, and effective communication.

Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time — Brian Tracy:Presents practical strategies for overcoming procrastination, boosting productivity, and accomplishing more by tackling the most challenging tasks first.

#that girl #itgirl #good habits #leveling up #self development #education #reading #book recommendations #productivity #level up #habits

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the-real-housewives-of-waterdeep · 1 month

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1, 3, 5, and 7 for the Tav asks :D

1) What would your Tav’s greetings be (at different levels of approval)?

Low approval:

- Stony silence accompanied by a disdainful glare

- “Ugh — What now?”

- “Make it quick, commoner.”

Neutral

- “Hm?”

- “Oh, it’s you.”

- “Your shoes are filthy. What do you want?”

High

- “My favorite commoner. I suppose I can spare you a moment.”

- “Yes?”

Exceptional

- “Ah, it’s you!”

- “You’re a sight for sore eyes, friend.”

Romanced

- “Yes, sweetness?”

- “There you are.”

- “How I’ve missed you, beloved.”

3) What would their character quest be titled? Why?

A Noblewoman’s Guide: At first, this is all you are to her. A means to an end. Get this tadpole out of her head and get her on a carriage to Athkatla.

5) Describe their idle animations!

- Fanning herself with a piece of parchment

- Fussing in a hand mirror, likely combing her curls with her enchanted comb (her hair texture is close to a 3B curl pattern)

7) Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one?

When you find her, you can either take pity on her and cart her along, provided she pulls her weight somehow, or reject her and find her dead near the Rosymorn Monastery. It’s a wonder to you that she made it that far.

Her character development arc is focused around internal growth and maturity. Dulcinea has never had to worry about anything but looking pretty and having fun. She’s learning how to collaborate and care for others, accepting that the world does not revolve around her, and recognizing that she can, in fact, hold depth beyond the surface level.

Her reactions to helping others in Act I are usually disapproving. To her, this is a waste of time. You’ll have discussions regarding recruiting others and major plot points (e.g. helping the tieflings and destroying the goblin camp). These are usually persuasion skill checks, which — if successful — will result in approval, effectively neutralizing the disapproval from earlier.

This changes over the course of the subsequent acts. She begins to approve of altruism more frequently and will concede that helping others is, “Fine, I guess,” or, “That felt surprisingly good.”

In Act III, she does have a highly pivotal cut scene following Lorroakan’s death. She realizes that she and her brother are cut from the same cloth — selfish and cruel, albeit for different reasons. Hers manifests in a more obnoxious, petty sort of way, while Lorroakan abused the hell out of people. You find her by the river (lol) holding her brother’s ring, a ring she had Rolan retrieve. It was one she gave him that he hated because it was purposeless. She contemplates throwing it into the river, but you can convince her to keep it, “As a reminder of why you wish to be better.”

She asks you, “Will I… will I end up like him? Dead on the floor someplace with people spitting on my corpse? Am I just as bad?”

If you can convince her that she is capable of being better and that she’s already proving that to be true.

Her good endings are staying with you to help rebuild in Baldur’s Gate or continuing to adventure with you, provided that you’ve continued to sell her on the notion that she can be more than the vapid person she’s convinced herself to be. She wants to do right by others now, even if there is a certain degree of self-satisfaction accompanying it, but old habits die hard.

Her bad ending, however, is one where she says, “Bye, commoners!” and hops on a carriage to Athkatla. She “graces your presence” later at the epilogue party after having risen to power through nepotism. She’s a woefully inept leader, but Athkatla isn’t known for having the most ethical leadership. Other companions will comment on this (“She’s made a damn mess of the place”, “Mighty bold of her to slum it with the ‘commoners’.”).

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lingshanhermit · 3 months

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Lingshan Hermit: When can it be said that you have stepped onto the path of liberation?

True cultivation begins when a person truly recognizes and admits that they have problems and is willing to follow the teacher's instructions to slowly change bit by bit. Cultivators do not conceal, cover up, make excuses for, play semantic games about, self-deceive about, or try to outsmart their teachers regarding their own problems. They know who their real enemy is and will not target the wrong opponent. They truly believe in their teacher, are honest with them, willing to cooperate with them, and have sufficient resilience, patience and preparation. This may seem not difficult, but in fact it is a level that most people will not reach in their lifetimes. Most people, first of all, have not figured out what cultivation really means. They think cultivation is chanting, reciting mantras, attending rituals, receiving empowerment and studying theory. No one tells them that cultivation requires honesty, nor does anyone tell them about the connection between cultivation and self-deception. Many who believe they are cultivating have in fact never cultivated at all. Either they are deceiving themselves or embellishing the facts, or they are playing hide and seek with their teacher, or engaging in some combination of these games. Do not fantasize that such people are able to admit their own mistakes. Getting a person used to self-deception to recognize their own problems is even less likely than getting Trump to voluntarily stop talking.

If a person is in the habit of lying, deceiving themselves and distrusting others, they basically have no chance of entering true cultivation. Because true cultivation requires the ability to examine oneself, honesty, and complete trust, and these two qualities cut off all their possibilities of establishing proper teacher-disciple relationships.

In the past, I have seen some extremely crafty people who got along well with everyone at rituals and always spoke appropriately. But when listening to them talk, you feel comforted, and think they are good people with good cultivation. But I know that they actually distrust everyone, and none of their words are sincere. They conceal everything about themselves very well. Such people are highly perceptive about human nature, tactful and adept socially, very successful in worldly affairs, but are the worst cultivators. The best cultivators, while knowing all their own flaws, also clearly understand that their true nature is no different from Manjushri or Shakyamuni, yet they are neither arrogant nor servile about this.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on February 7, 2024.

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灵山居士：什么时候，才可以说你已经步入解脱道

真正的修行起始于一个人真正知道并承认自己有问题愿意依师教言一点一点去改。修行者对自己的问题不掩饰、不遮盖、不找借口，不玩文字游戏、不自欺、不和老师斗智斗勇，他知道自己真正的敌人是谁，不会找错对手。他真正相信自己的老师，对他坦诚，愿意和他配合，也有足够的韧性耐心和准备。这看上去好像不难，但其实是很多人一辈子也达不到的境界。大部分人首先就根本没搞明白什么是修行，他们以为的修行是诵经持咒法会灌顶学习理论。没有人告诉他们修行要诚实，也没有人告诉他们修行和自欺之间存在着什么关联。很多自以为在修行的人，其实从未修行过，他们不是在自欺就是在文过饰非，要不就是在和老师玩捉迷藏，要不就是这几种游戏一起玩。不要幻想这样的人能认为自己有错，让一个习惯自欺的人承认自己的问题比让川普不说话还要不可能。

一个人如果习惯于说谎自欺习惯于不相信别人，其实基本上他就没可能进入真正的修行。因为真正的修行需要审视自己的能力、需要坦诚、需要完全的信任，而这两种品质切断了他所有建立正确师徒关系的可能性。

以前我见过一些堪称人精的人，她们和法会里每个人关系都很好，说的话也非常合适得体，只是听她讲话你会觉得如沐春风，你会觉得她人很好修行也很好。但是我知道她其实是不信任任何人，她的话也没一句是真心的，她把自己的一切都隐藏的很好。这种人洞察人性，长袖善舞，在社交上游刃有余，世俗上很成功，但却是最糟糕的修行者。而最好的修行者，他们在知道自己一身毛病的同时也清楚自己的自性和文殊释迦无二，但他们既不以此为傲，也不以此为卑。

灵山居士写于2024年2月7日。

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kick-the-clouds · 4 months

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Failing to stay true to your principles for money and power can lead to a loss of self-respect, damaged relationships, and a tarnished reputation. Short-term gains can never outweigh the long-term consequences of compromising your values. Stay strong and stay true!

Straying from your principles for money and power can lead to several negative consequences:

1. **Loss of Self-Respect**: Compromising your principles can lead to a decline in self-esteem and self-respect. You might start feeling that you've betrayed your own values.

2. **Damaged Reputation**: Others may view you as untrustworthy or opportunistic if they perceive that you're willing to abandon your principles for personal gain.

3. **Relationship Strain**: Friends, family, and colleagues who valued your integrity may lose trust in you, leading to strained or broken relationships.

4. **Inner Conflict**: You may experience guilt, anxiety, or internal conflict as a result of acting against your beliefs, impacting your mental and emotional well-being.

5. **Short-term Gains, Long-term Losses**: While abandoning principles might offer immediate advantages, it can lead to long-term professional and personal setbacks.

6. **Compromised Decision-Making**: Once you start compromising your principles, it can become a pattern, leading to poor decision-making in the future.

7. **Impact on Others**: Your actions might negatively affect those around you, particularly if they rely on your guidance or leadership.

8. **Loss of Meaning and Purpose**: Principles often give our lives direction and meaning. Losing them can lead to a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose.

9. **Legal and Ethical Issues**: Depending on the situation, compromising your principles for financial or power gains can lead to legal troubles or ethical violations.

10. **Setting a Negative Example**: If others look up to you, abandoning your principles can set a poor example, influencing them to act similarly.

Staying true to your principles, even when tempted by money and power, is crucial for maintaining personal integrity, respect, and long-term fulfillment.

Certainly! For each of the negative consequences, there are certain types of individuals who might not be concerned about them:

1. **Loss of Self-Respect**: A narcissistic or highly opportunistic person might not care about self-respect if they prioritize their own success above all else.

2. **Damaged Reputation**: Someone who values power or wealth over public opinion might disregard the impact on their reputation.

3. **Relationship Strain**: An individual focused solely on personal gain, lacking empathy or strong emotional connections, might not be bothered by strained relationships.

4. **Inner Conflict**: A person with Machiavellian traits might not experience guilt or internal conflict when acting against their principles for gain.

5. **Short-term Gains, Long-term Losses**: Impulsive individuals, or those with a short-sighted focus, might ignore long-term consequences in favor of immediate rewards.

6. **Compromised Decision-Making**: Someone with a habit of rationalizing unethical behavior might continue to do so without concern for the degradation of their decision-making process.

7. **Impact on Others**: People with a lack of empathy or a strong self-centered focus might not be concerned about how their actions affect others.

8. **Loss of Meaning and Purpose**: Individuals who don’t place much value on personal principles or who derive meaning from power and success might not miss these guiding values.

9. **Legal and Ethical Issues**: Someone who is willing to take risks, including legal ones, for the sake of gain, or who believes they are above the law, might not worry about these consequences.

10. **Setting a Negative Example**: A person who does not see themselves as a role model or doesn’t care about the impact of their actions on others might be indifferent to setting a negative example.

These types of people might not be concerned about the respective consequences due to their particular values, personalities, or belief systems. However, it's important to note that such attitudes can lead to significant personal and societal issues in the long run.

#love #happiness #kindness #strength #joy #power #goodwill #affection #warmth #gentleness #tenderness #concern #caring #consideration #thoughtfulness #unselfishness #selflessness #altruism #compassion

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astrogayatreevallabh · 1 year

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Sagittarius Ascendant:

Results of Jupiter transiting Pisces for Sagittarius Ascendant People:

1) Good for going to foreign land, gain through foreign land or foreigners.

2) Other people will be influenced by you. You will be appreciated by others.

3) Regarding career, this transit is average but your reputation will increase. Transit from Moon sign matters a lot regarding career.

4) Regarding Marriage, this transit is average.

5) This transit is good for love relationship but Rahu transiting 5th house may cause problems.

6) Regarding education, you will be successful but Rahu in the 5th indicates concentration issues.

7) Your knowledge on occult field may broden.

8) People want to be close with you.

9) Close friends will support you.

10) Distraction in career may also be realised. You may try to change career too.

11) You are becoming good learner and developing new ideas about life and society.

12) Health wise, this transit may not be that bad but it may badly influence your food habit.

13) Those who are working on real estate may feel growth in their entrepreneurship.

14) If your Moon sign is Aries, Leo, Gemini, Sagittarius, Libra, Pisces, and Capricorn, this transit will not be that favourable to you.

15) If your Moon sign is Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpion or Aquarius, this transit will be beneficial to you in all aspects of your life.

16) If there is Sun, Mercury, Saturn, Or Venus or Jupiter in Pisces in your natal chart, this transit will be highly auspicious in the areas signified by those planets.

17) If there is Rahu in Pisces in the natal chart, you may be distracted a lot.

18) If there is Ketu in Pisces in the natal chart, you may become spiritual. You will gain knowledge on occult.

19) Overall, this transit is average. Positive or negative effects will mostly determined by where is Pisces from your Moon sign in the natal chart.

Your life will be not remarkably successful but happy.

#astrology #horoscope #vedic astrology #jupiter transit #horoscope reading #jupiter

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theambitiouswoman · 1 year

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My Book Recommendations for Developing Self Discipline:

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear: This book offers a practical and science-based approach to building good habits and breaking bad ones. It teaches how to identify the root cause of your behavior, how to make small changes that lead to big results, and how to stay consistent over time.

"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg: This book explores the science behind habit formation and how you can change your habits to improve your life. It offers practical strategies for developing good habits and breaking bad ones, based on research from neuroscience, psychology, and behavioral economics.

"The Willpower Instinct" by Kelly McGonigal: This book draws on research from psychology, neuroscience, and mindfulness to offer practical strategies for improving self-discipline and willpower. It teaches how to overcome procrastination, resist temptation, and achieve your goals.

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey: This classic book teaches seven habits that can help you become more effective in your personal and professional life. It emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility, goal-setting, and continuous improvement.

"Discipline Equals Freedom" by Jocko Willink: This book offers a no-nonsense approach to self-discipline, drawing on the author's experience as a Navy SEAL. It teaches how to develop discipline in all areas of your life, from fitness and nutrition to work and relationships.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND:

6. "No Excuses: The Power of Self-Discipline" is a book by Brian Tracy that explores the importance of self-discipline in achieving success. Tracy argues that self-discipline is the key to achieving your goals and living a fulfilling life, and offers practical strategies for developing self-discipline.

In the book, Tracy emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for your own life, setting clear goals, and developing the habits and routines necessary to achieve those goals. He also discusses the role of motivation and willpower in achieving success, and offers strategies for overcoming procrastination and staying focused on your goals.

Overall, "No Excuses" is a motivational and practical guide to developing self-discipline and achieving your full potential.

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femmefatalevibe · 1 year

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Hola!! Me encanta tu blog! queria consultarte que libros de modales, etiqueta y protocolo recomiendas?? Muchas gracias!

Hi!! Love your blog. What are some etiquette and protocol books you recommend? (book of manners) Thanks <3

Hi love! Thank you so much. I would say the only books I've read on the subject have to do with effective and sociable communication, so I'll list a few of those below for you to take a look at:

Polished: The Guide to Excellence for the Modern Professional by Tiffany Adams

How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

The 2-Hour Cocktail Party by Nick Gray

How to Talk to Anyone: Learn the Secrets of Social and Communication Skills, Better Small Talk, and How to Talk to Anybody About Everything by Peter L. Lewis

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Women, Work & the Art of Savoir Faire: Business Sense & Sensibility by Mireille Guiliano

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Joseph Grenny

The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle

Hope this helps xx

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spiced-wine-fic · 1 year

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Questions for Fic Writers

Dear @minquelie you are so kind to ask me questions, 🤗

I’m posting this separately because I want to add some links and don’t want to clutter up the chain.

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

_________________________________________________________

7, Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Have I done any, really? I think worldbuilding (in pretty much any book or film) is always built on some geography, peoples, and/or culture that we already know about and we simply transfer it to a fic or published novel). World-borrowing might be more apt.

Sud Sicanna is a trade center, a ‘hub’ city that links the north, south, east and west of the Harad. Its citizens are from all over, not only Haradhrim but from Khand and Chey Sart and Palisor.

Tanith (in Dark Lands) in the very far south of the Harad, was settled originally by Númenoreans (The instane ruler makes a big thing of having Númenorean blood). I based Tanith and its Death Games on ancient Rome.

Khand is (in my ‘verse) a hot, windy land, almost a plateau, with its settlements mainly in the rich river valleys and fortress cities, perhaps Moroccan in style or Yemenese. The Variags consider themselves Mairon’s ‘chosen’, his warrior elite. I loved writing about them in A Far, Fierce, Sky. They’re just people with their own history and culture, and an offshoot of the Cathaians. Several of Vanimöré’s Khadakhir are Variags.

The great slave farms of Núrnen are directly from the LOTR (book) where they’re mentioned. Sauron decided to breed warriors there and they appear in Magnificat of the Damned Book III and IV. The orcs were just canon fodder really, but in the War of the Ring, Sauron never had a chance to release his Mannish armies before the Ring was destroyed.

Tashon Narr in the far East is a city dedicated to Sauron and sacrifice and is imagined almost to be a city-labyrinth in style.

Cathai of course is a kind of ancient China, though I haven't yet written much about it.

There are places on the map I also borrowed from MERP then added names and kingdoms to, that remain unexplored: The Kingdom of the Cloud Forests, The Slave Coast, The Shards of the Sun, The Lands of the Broken Moon (These latter two are supposed to be what remained after the destruction of Iluin and Ormal, scattered island chains) and the Stormshadow Mountain Kingdoms. (Map below)

15, What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

Well, they are all the same AU, really. The Dark Prince and Magnificat ‘verse are in the same ‘world’ just with different focuses and settings. After the end of Magnificat IV we are into multiverse territory because of the Portals and the Mirror of Worlds, but they come from the same ‘root.’

23, What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

I don’t know. I think I have written (or am writing) everything I want to :)

29, What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

I tend to go for epic music.

Invictus by Marcello de Francisci (This one is my overall favourite for the whole AU). (YouTube link below)

Invincible by Two Steps From Hell

Lux Aeterna by Clint Mancell (Requiem For A Dream).

Emergence of Empire by Immediate Music.

Sahara, by Nightwish, which was suggested to me by Pandemonium_213 years ago.

Rada, Thomas Bergersen,

Archangel, Two Steps from Hell.

youtube

#fic asks and answers #Youtube

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faracoach · 1 year

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5 Self-Improvement Books You Need to Read

If you're looking to enhance your personal development skills, self-improvement books can be a great starting point. Not only do they offer insightful advice and valuable lessons, but they can also inspire you to take action towards a better version of yourself. In this post, we'll be sharing our top 5 picks for self-improvement books that are a must-read.

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a classic in the self-help genre. Covey outlines seven habits that can help you become more effective in both your personal and professional life. From setting goals to prioritizing tasks, this book provides practical advice that you can implement immediately.

2. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck

In Mindset, Dweck explores the idea of fixed versus growth mindsets. She argues that having a growth mindset, where you believe that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and dedication, is key to success. This book can help you shift your perspective and adopt a more positive and productive outlook on life.

3. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages is a book that focuses on relationships and communication. Chapman argues that everyone has a primary love language, or way of expressing and receiving love. By understanding your partner's love language, you can improve your relationship and deepen your connection.

4. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

Atomic Habits provides a practical and actionable approach to habit formation. Clear breaks down the science behind habits and offers strategies for building good habits and breaking bad ones. This book can help you create a solid foundation for personal growth and development.

5. What is coaching? By Yaser Motahedin

This book, which contains seven chapters with topics related to coaching and coaching skills, is used in chapters two and three with the titles "searching for roots" and "competencies" in the relationship of a person with himself, from which the title Coaching itself is taught and then it introduces and suggests actions that lead to self-improvement.

The valuable and practical point of this article is that by reading these self-improvement books, you can gain insights and strategies for personal development. These books can help you adopt a growth mindset, develop effective habits, and improve your relationships. And the best part? You can start implementing these strategies right away.

It's important to note that self-improvement is a continuous journey, and it requires consistent effort and dedication. By enrolling in coaching programs like Faracoach, you can receive high-quality and global coaching training courses and earn international degrees. Faracoach is an international coaching training center that offers comprehensive and rigorous coaching programs for individuals who want to pursue a career in coaching or enhance their coaching skills.

In conclusion, reading self-improvement books can be a valuable tool in your personal development journey. By gaining insights and strategies from these books, you can become a better version of yourself and achieve your goals. And if you're looking to take your coaching skills to the next level, consider enrolling in a coaching program at Faracoach.

.پنج کتاب خودسازی که باید بخوانید

اگر به دنبال تقویت مهارت های توسعه شخصی خود هستید، کتاب های خود بهبودی می تواند نقطه شروع خوبی باشند. آنها نه تنها توصیه های روشنگرانه و درس های ارزشمندی را ارائه می دهند، بلکه می توانند به شما انگیزه دهند تا برای نسخه بهتری از خود اقدام کنید. در این پست، ما 5 انتخاب برتر خود را برای کتاب‌های خودسازی که باید حتما بخوانید، به اشتراک می‌گذاریم

هفت عادت افراد بسیار مؤثر اثر استفان آر. کاوی

هفت عادت افراد بسیار موثر یک کلاسیک در ژانر خودیاری است. "کاوی" هفت عادت را بیان می کند که می تواند به شما کمک کند هم در زندگی شخصی هم در زندگی حرفه ای موثرتر شوید. از تعیین اهداف تا اولویت بندی وظایف، این کتاب توصیه های عملی را ارائه می دهد که می توانید بلافاصله آنها را اجرا کنید

2. ذهنیت: روانشناسی جدید موفقیت اثر کارول اس. دوک

در ذهنیت، دوک ایده ذهنیت های ثابت در مقابل رشد را بررسی می کند. او استدلال می کند که داشتن یک ذهنیت رشد، که در آن شما معتقدید که توانایی ها و هوش شما می تواند از طریق سخت کوشی و فداکاری توسعه یابد، کلید موفقیت است. این کتاب می تواند به شما کمک کند دیدگاه خود را تغییر دهید و دیدگاه مثبت و سازنده تری نسبت به زندگی اتخاذ کنید

3. پنج زبان عشق: راز عشق ماندگار اثر گری چپمن

پنج زبان عشق کتابی است که بر روابط و ارتباطات تمرکز دارد. "چپمن" استدلال می کند که هر کس یک زبان عشق اصلی یا روشی برای ابراز و دریافت عشق دارد. با درک زبان عشق شریک زندگی خود، می توانید رابطه خود را بهبود بخشید و ارتباط خود را عمیق تر کنید

4. عادات اتمی: راهی آسان و اثبات شده برای ایجاد عادات خوب و شکستن عادت های بد اثر جیمز کلیر

عادات اتمی یک رویکرد عملی و تمرین هایی برای شکل گیری عادت ارائه می دهد. "کلیر"علم عادات را تجزیه می کند و استراتژی هایی برای ایجاد عادات خوب و ترک عادت های بد ارائه می دهد. این کتاب می تواند به شما کمک کند پایه ای محکم برای رشد و توسعه شخصی ایجاد کنید.

5. کوچینگ چیست؟ اثر یاسر متحدین

این کتاب که شامل هفت فصل با موضوعات مرتبط با کوچینگ و مهارت های کوچ است. فصل های دو و سه با عنوان های “درجست و جوی ریشه ها" و "شایستگی ها" در ارتباط فرد با خودش کاربرد دارد که از آن با عنوان خود کوچینگ یاد می‌شود و در ادامه اعمالی را معرفی و پیشنهاد می دهد که به خودسازی منجر می شود

نکته ارزشمند و کاربردی این مقاله این است که با مطالعه این کتاب های خودسازی می توانید به بینش ها و راهکارهایی برای رشد فردی دست پیدا کنید. این کتاب‌ها می‌توانند به شما کمک کنند تا یک طرز فکر رشد را اتخاذ کنید، عادت‌های مؤثری در خود ایجاد و روابط خود را بهبود بخشید. بهترین بخش این است که، شما می توانید بلافاصله اجرای این استراتژی ها را شروع کنید

توجه به این نکته مهم است که خودسازی یک سفر مداوم و نیازمند تلاش و فداکاری پی در پی است. با ثبت نام در برنامه های کوچینگ ، می توانید دوره های آموزش مربیگری با کیفیت بالا و جهانی را دریافت کنید و مدارک بین المللی کسب کنید. فراکوچ یک مرکز آموزش مربیگری بین‌المللی است که برنامه‌های کوچینگ جامع و دقیقی را برای افرادی که می‌خواهند حرفه‌ای را در مربیگری دنبال کنند یا مهارت‌های مربیگری خود را افزایش دهند، ارائه می‌دهد

در پایان، خواندن کتاب های خودسازی می تواند ابزار ارزشمندی در سفر توسعه شخصی شما باشد. با به دست آوردن بینش و استراتژی از این کتاب ها، می توانید نسخه بهتری از خود شوید و به اهداف خود برسید. و اگر به دنبال ارتقای مهارت های مربیگری خود به سطح بعدی هستید، فرصت ثبت نام در برنامه مربیگری در فراکوچ را از دست ندهید

#coaching #life coaching #self improvement

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

Text

I’m an ENFJ 2w1 so/sx and I have a lot of difficulty understanding and properly appreciating my brother, an ISTJ 6w5 sp/so...

Well. First I am going to say that one of the strengths of high Ni is finding a different vantage point from which to survey a situation and re-interpret it in a different, unusual way. Meaning that you need to go inside yourself and consider your brother from a different, larger viewpoint than just "he offends people." Think about him in a broader context, think about the psychology behind this (I assume you have read a lot about 6s? if not, please do so, it will be helpful in understanding how fear is motivating him, and that will give you an even deeper understanding of his psyche), and then think about how you could reach him by catering your Fe to what he would respond best to. How can you use what you know about being a 6 to reach him? (Let's say that a 6 wants to be liked, because it's true -- they are attachment types. What would be the benefit to him of being liked, by him actively working toward softening some of his own edges? Would he be more successful in his career, for example? A strong Te user responds to facts and logical thinking -- cause and effect. You do this, that results. For a 6, you do this, you alienate people who might not like you anymore and could hurt you -- so the goal becomes, how do I find allies? How can you help your brother be someone who attracts allies and friends?)

Another thing... how old is he? If he's 12 or 15, this is not a huge deal; if he's 30 and still alienating people, it's a problem. Age matters. Being a teenager who is trying to figure out who he is and what he thinks and where his place is in the world... matters. If he's under 20 years old, cut him some slack. He's immature. What you described to me are "young" 6 behaviors and as he gets out into the world, gains more experience, deals with more people, they will fade a bit. The less experienced in real life a 6 is, the more rigid their views -- because they can cling to them in the comfort of their own home.

Okay, on to the rest of your ask...

He attaches to people and ideologies to keep himself safe and make sense of the world and I get that. But, by constantly choosing this over this etc, he alienates other people and offends them which as an Fe-dom is just no. He often seems to have no idea about the emotions and opinions of others and is self-centred, constantly talking about what he likes and he’s doing.

Really, this is butting up against your need, as an EFJ, to have everyone on the same page and maintain harmony between them, which is understandable. But TJs do not think that way, as you know from living with him (ha, ha). Something to remember, then, is that... his actions don't reflect on you and won't change how people feel about you, if that is partly your concern. People will evaluate him independently from you and not lump you together. Second, you can't expect him to understand the emotions of others -- this is beyond his understanding. ITJs are incapable of that. Does it offend higher Fe types? Yes. Can it change? No, it can't. You need to find a way to accept this, and not expect it from him, which means being more able to just shake your head when something happens, remind yourself that "this is just who he is," and deal with the fallout.

When something goes slightly wrong, it’s like his whole world explodes and everything is ending right this second and he either starts yelling or sulking or blaming other people for something that is his fault.

You may want to read the book I am reading, which is the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, the author talks a lot about putting power back in people's hands through your choice of language (I think the author is an EFJ 2w1 as well; he might even be ENFJ due to his focus on language/words/communication techniques). He says that most people excuse personal responsibility by insisting it was not their fault, but that you can put power back into their hands by reaffirming that the choices they made led them here. Are they CHOOSING to get upset right now? Angry? To blame others?

Something about blame is that the 6 being an ego type, wants to be a good person in a similar way that the 1 gets credit for being (the difference is the 1 doesn't want to be good, so much as RIGHT). 6s also want to be RIGHT. Blame means I did something wrong, which attacks their ego structure--their line to 3 rebels at being seen in a negative light, and they want to avoid the consequences of having something be "my fault," so that' why they point fingers elsewhere. It takes a lot of self-work for a 6 to be able to admit when they were wrong without fearing the consequences (punishment). But as I said, the more immature the 6, the more this happens; the more mature the 6, the less this happens. It can be grown out of, but the 6 has to be aware that this is a problem with them and something that needs fixed (which a lot of 6s will want to do, because they are super-ego types who don't want to do the wrong thing). So... maybe introduce him to the Enneagram. Find a good book about it and give it to him, something like Russ Hudson or Richard Rohor. See what happens.

He constantly measures himself against the normal and “shoulds” endlessly, ending up despairing and frustrating himself and everyone else. It’s just so stressful.

I realize this is going to be incredibly hard for you to hear, as an EFJ 2, but... you can't fix him, you can't change him, and his struggles are none of your business if he won't listen to you. You cannot control how other people think, feel, or behave, all you can control is how you respond to them. If you see a technique that might help him, point it out to him, but don't lecture or mother him. Younger siblings hate being parented by older ones. Come at it from a "friend" perspective, and not a "sub-parent" perspective.

I think he’s amazing overall and some of these negatives are also very positive. I just don’t know how to keep everyone happy without “shoulding” at him. He deserves to be and express himself but so does everyone else and when he’s being him, that can’t happen without an explosion. I don’t know if this is personality related really. I was just wondering if you could give me some tips on how to deal with 6’s need for security at all costs (as opposed to my 2 need to be needed) and Fi vs Fe. Thank you so so so much for all you do! I love reading through your blog and your thoughtful, kind responses :)

Turn your Ni to thinking about -- how can I make him feel 'safe and supported' in this environment and pursue that for a while. Instead of seeing him as a problem or something to fix, look beyond that to his true needs, his 6 wounds of feeling unsure and unsupported, and see what happens.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 6

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