#Catching feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

engie-ivy · 7 months

Note

Hi! I really like your writing, could you possibly write a fanfic where Remus is a confident gorgeous bastard and Sirius is a flustered mess?

(Hi @arcades-n-academia! You might not even remember this request, with how long it took me to answer. I guess it took some time for a good idea to come to me, and then to find time to actually write it? I would say I hope it's worth the wait, but with how long the wait was that might be pushing it😅 Anyway, without further ado, I present to you:

Confident Gorgeous Remus Lupin and Flustered Mess Sirius Black!)

Being handsome, smart and successful, Remus has his choice of men. So he's allowed to have standards, right? And he has a type, namely confident and intelligent men who know what they are doing. Unfortunately, Sirius Black, easy on the eyes as he might be, is none of those things.

Or so Remus thought.

A New Side

Remus is feeling quite chipper. He's walking down the street carrying two boxes with cake from his favourite bakery, on his way to the office where he worked for the past year.

Remus is a renowned environmental scientist, but he took a break from that line of work to join an environmental law firm. He had wanted to learn more about the legal side of protecting the environment. What arguments are the big corporations using to deny accountability for the pollution they are causing? What data can these environmental lawyers use to prove these corporations are responsible? What evidence of the consequences for the environment is sufficiently compelling to a judge?

In return for learning the ropes of environmental law, Remus has been serving as an expert witness in their cases, and has consulted on scientific matters.

All in all, it has been a good year. Remus had a great time at the company, they made him feel at home and he truly learned a lot. But while he's going to miss the people, hard-working and dedicated to making the world a better place, he's excited to go back to his true passion: scientific research. He's got plenty of ideas, and he's excited to re-join his research team and get started.

Last Friday was officially his last day at the law firm, and since he's still got one week off before he'll take up his old job again, he's dropping by the office today to bring some cake and thank them for the past year.

As Remus pushes open the door, the first person he's greeted by is, unfortunately, Gilderoy Lockhart.

Alright, maybe when he says 'hard-working and dedicated to making the world a better place', that doesn't include everyone.

Lockhart doesn't particularly care about making the world better, he cares more about creating an image of himself as someone who is making the world better. He wants that aesthetic of a handsome, noble lawyer fighting for the good cause. Without doing the actual work, that is. Lockhart is known for doing nothing while taking credit for everything.

They would've kicked him out, if he didn't have a talent for charming people. Especially middle-aged women appear to be quite fond of him. Middle-aged women with too much money looking for a good cause to support. So since Lockhart is so proficient in bringing in donations, they continue to tolerate him.

"Lupin," Lockhart smiles. "Well, isn't today your lucky day."

'Because after today I never have to see you again?' Remus wants to say, but he holds it back. No, he went an entire year without clashing with Lockhart, he's not going to ruin it now. So he forces a smile. "And why is that, Lockhart?"

"Because today is the day you're getting the chance to go on a date with me," Lockhart smirks.

Remus blinks. "Sorry?"

"Yes, you heard that right," Lockhart says, still smirking. "You get to go on a date with me."

"That's… flattering, I suppose, but I'm sorry," Remus shakes his head. "I'm not interested."

Lockhart is silent for a moment, then he lifts his chin and tightens his jaw. "See for yourself then, Lupin. Your loss."

"Remus, you gotta help us out."

Fabian and Gideon have stopped him in the hallway.

"We keep arguing about it," Fabian says.

"So we need you to decide," Gideon adds.

"We usually don't go for the same guy, so this is new to us," Fabian sighs.

"We can't agree upon which one of us gets to ask you out, so we decided to leave it up to you," Gideon shrugs.

"So you need to tell us, Remus," Fabian urges.

"Which one of us would you rather go out with?" They both ask at the same time.

Remus looks from one brother to the other. "I like you both, as good friends."

Fabian cringes and Gideon dramatically places a hand over his heart. "Autch."

"Oh, come on," Remus says. "You can't expect me to choose one of you to date! That's just asking for trouble. Believe me, this is for the best."

"Alright, we normally don't go there, but since it's you, we are willing to make an exception," Fabian says.

"So what about dating both of us at the same time?" Gideon asks.

"Bye, Fabian! Bye, Gideon!" Remus starts to walk away. "Nice catching up with you!"

"You don't know what you'll be missing out on!" Fabian, or maybe Gideon, calls after him.

Benjy keeps nervously fiddling with his tea bag. "So… ehm, I mean, like, we won't see each other at work anymore, and I just thought… I hoped… I wanted to ask… If you don't mind, of course, maybe we could see each other outside of work? You know. Like dinner. If you like to have dinner. With me."

Remus stops from where he had been going through the cabinets of the office kitchen looking for cake forks to look at Benjy. "Oh, Benj… That sounds lovely, really. But truthfully, I'm not looking for anything right now, so it's probably best not to, as I don't want to give you the wrong idea."

It's not exactly true. Remus is quite open to someone storming into his life and sweeping him off of his feet, but Benjy isn't the 'storming in and sweeping you off of your feet'-type. He's the 'carefully shuffling in and awkwardly stammering if he may perhaps attempt to sweep you off of your feet'-type. Not that he isn't a great guy. Remus is sure that there's someone out there who's going to look at Benjy and see him worrying his lip and nervously wringing his hands, and think it's just the cutest thing ever.

But that someone isn't Remus. He needs a man who has a bit more fire in him.

After avoiding an awkward situation with Caradoc Dearborn, by pretending to think the flowers Dearborn gives him are only to thank him for his work in the past year, and Dearborn luckily takes the hint and plays along, Remus runs into Kingsley. At first, Remus is relieved that it's just his work buddy Kingsley, but when Kinsley leans against the wall beside him and gives him that smile, he knows enough.

"No, Kingsley," he says firmly. "No. We are friends. We work well as friends. We are not going to change that."

Kingsley lets his head fall against the wall and lets out a dramatic sigh. "You are a cruel, cruel man, Remus Lupin," he says, but he's smiling as he pushes himself off of the wall. "Well, it was worth a try, but I know a lost cause when I see one."

Remus lets out a relieved sigh as he closes the door to the break room behind him. Mary from Communications, Marlene the Office Manager and Lily from HR look up from their coffee.

"Oh my god!" Mary jumps to her feet and runs up to him. "Cake!" She exclaims, snatching the boxes from his hands.

"Happy to see you too, Mary," Remus says, rolling his eyes.

Mary sits down and flips open one of the boxes. "White chocolate pistachio! You're my hero."

Remus drops down on a chair with a sigh. "Has Mary brought her 'special' brownies to the office again?"

Mary glares at him, swallowing down a mouth full of frosting. "That happened once and it was an accident!" She says. "I took the wrong batch with me."

"I'm not complaining," Marlene smirks. "Best day I've ever had at the office."

"What makes you think the whole office is on drugs?" Lily asks Remus. "Again," she adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Just on the way here," Remus says. "Like, six co-workers asked me out!"

Marlene laughs. "Of course they did!"

Lily leans forward, resting her head on her hands. "Come on, Remus. You must know what's going on."

Remus blinks at her. "I promise you that I really do not."

"This company has a strict No Dating-Policy for its employees," Lily says. "But as of today, you," she points her finger at Remus. "Are no longer an employee."

"Which means…" Remus begins.

"Which means that all those thirsty men who have been lusting after you for the past year can finally shoot their shot!" Mary finishes.

Remus looks at Lily, but she just points at Mary and nods.

"It's true, Rem," Marlene says. "I almost had to ask the janitor to mob the floor in the meeting room after each of your presentations, with how much those guys were drooling!"

"And who can blame them?" Mary says, before Remus can protest. "You, standing there, with that casually tousled hair going on, wearing that button-up with the top buttons undone and your sleeves rolled up to your elbows, talking about critical deposition values, just oozing that whole 'Sexy Professor'-vibe…"

"There's nothing sexy about critical deposition values!" Remus protests, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Say critical deposition values one more time," Mary says, throwing her head back and letting out a fake moan.

Remus flicks a pistachio at her head. "You're a menace."

Mary sticks out her tongue and takes another bite of cake.

Remus shakes his head. "Good god, if that is the case, in retrospect, I'm very thankful for that No Dating-Policy. At least now I only have to endure this awkwardness for one day."

"Two days," Lily corrects. "You have to come to the office party this Friday!"

Remus raises his eyebrows. "Party? Are we celebrating?"

A huge grin appears on Lily's face. "Indeed we are! We won the case against Exxon!" She cheers.

Remus stares at her. "The case against… No way!"

"Way!"

Remus laughs out loud. "Oh my god! That's amazing! I can hardly believe it! I thought that case was mostly symbolic? That we didn't have a chance at actually winning?"

"So did I!" Lily exclaims.

"So did everyone!" Mary exclaims.

Marlene shakes her head with a huge grin on her face. "But don't tell Sirius he can't do something!"

"Wait," Remus says. "Back up. Sirius? As in Sirius Black?"

"No, Remus. One of the many other Siriuses that work here," Lily deadpans. "Yes, Sirius Black! Why does that surprise you?"

"No reason, just…" Remus shrugs awkwardly. "Well, he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, is he?"

All three girls stare at him like he has grown two heads.

"Remus," Lily eventually manages to say. "I don't know what kind of tools you have in your shed, but in most sheds, they don't come much sharper than Sirius Black. He graduated top of his year from Harvard Law, he takes on the most challenging cases from all our lawyers, and still manages to win more cases than any of the other lawyers, our biggest clients almost always request for him by name to represent them, and he receives about five offers per week from corporate offices willing to pay him at least five times what we can afford." She shakes her head. "We're lucky he's so dedicated to the cause, otherwise we would never have been able to keep him.

Remus blinks. "Really? Okay. Wow. That's… not what I expected."

The first time Remus saw Black, their conversation went something like this:

"Hi! I'm your new colleague, Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you!"

"Uh, yeah."

"So… what kind of work do you do?"

"I… ehm, I work for an environmental law firm."

"...Yes. I know. We're colleagues. I mean what sort of work do you do within the firm?"

"Oh, yes, I work in environmental law. I do law work. For… the environment."

"Right."

After that conversation, Remus had concluded that, despite what his first name might suggest, Sirius Black wasn't exactly a bright light. Their following conversations had only confirmed his suspicions.

"Hey Black. That's quite a stack of papers you're carrying. Big case?"

"Oh, no, just a normal briefcase fits fine."

"Oh, Black, can I get your opinion on the presentation I gave at the meeting this morning? What did you think of the slides?"

"I loved them! They were nice!"

"Yeah, thanks, but were they clear enough?"

"Oh, yes! I could see them very well. With the blue background and white letters. Very clear."

"No, I mean… You know what, nevermind."

Remus had assumed that Black, not being the sharpest mind, must be some sort of an assistant to the lawyers, searching files, copying documents, writing minutes, that sort of work.

Remus also thought, and he's rather ashamed to admit this, that maybe they employed Black because of his father, the infamous cut-throat corporate lawyer Orion Black. Maybe they thought that Orion Black would go a bit more easy on them when meeting them across the courtroom if his son worked for them. Though if that was the case, it was to no avail. If anything, Orion Black seems even more determined to take their firm down any chance he gets.

Remus even thought, and yes, he's even more ashamed to admit this, that the only reason they kept Black around could be because the man is so easy on the eyes.

"So, what made you think Sirius is a dummy?" Mary asks cheerfully.

"I've been trying to get to know him, but it's hard to learn more about someone when they can't hold a bloody conversation," Remus says defensively. "I swear, every time I try to talk to him, the guy can barely string a sentence together!"

The girls are silent for a moment. Then they all burst out laughing.

"Oh my god," Marlene says, wiping tears from her eyes. "I can't believe it. Sirius Black, with his infamous sharp tongue, who always has a retort for everything and can make even the most ruthless corporate lawyer tremble with fear, finally at a loss for words, because of a cute guy!" She laughs again. "I'm never going to let him hear the end of this, I swear!"

"As any good friend should," Mary says approvingly.

Remus looks puzzled.

"Come on, Remus," Lily grins. "With your experience from today, I think it's pretty clear why Sirius’ brain turns to mush around you!"

"So," Remus says slowly. "Black is actually both very intelligent and very into me?"

"He sure is."

Remus sits back on his chair and takes a sip of his coffee. "Interesting."

Remus is hiding in a corner. Not how he usually acts at parties, but he's got a very good reason. Two very good reasons actually.

First, it's so that he won't continuously get hit on, with people making flirtatious comments, bringing him drinks or making not-so-subtle suggestions of what they could do after the party now that they're no longer co-workers.

Second, it's so he can observe Sirius Black without Sirius Black knowing he's observing him.

Because Remus is intrigued.

Sure, he did find Black attractive. No one who sees him can deny that he's a good-looking man. But Remus never considered him as someone he'd potentially want to date.

Remus likes intelligent men. Maybe that's pretentious, but it's just how it is. He's attracted to men whom he can have stimulating conversations with, who challenge him and keep him on his toes, who he can share ideas with. Black seemed to be none of those things, so Remus had never looked at him like that.

Tonight, though, Remus is looking.

Black is, of course, the star of the evening. The whole party is to celebrate his achievement, after all. He looks stunning in his dress shirt and his long hair tied up. Everybody wants to talk to the man of the moment, and Black is making rounds, going from group to group, smiling brightly and making easy conversation with everyone. He looks confident and at ease, oozing charisma and competence.

Remus hadn't felt any particular way about the fidgety Sirius Black stumbling over his words, but this Sirius Black… This is a Sirius Black he would like to see more of. There's just something incredibly sexy about a confident man who knows what he's doing, and knows he's doing it well.

Black is currently chatting to the Bones-siblings– Amelia and Edgar are from the prestigious Bones family, known for their philanthropy and welfare work, and both are highly educated and strongly dedicated–, and Peter Petttigrew and Emmeline Vance. Vance is a tall, blond woman, who works for a pharmaceutical company and with whom they once had to negotiate a settlement with. Peter was quite infatuated with her, and keeps inviting her to these types of events, hoping to get with her, though everyone can see Vance has no real interest in him besides his connections.

Remus doesn't know whether Vance likes to play devil's advocate, or whether she's really defending her beliefs, but she's always taking opposing stances and arguing with everyone from the firm. Remus supposes she thinks having a different opinion makes her special and interesting, by showing she's not like the rest of them naive ideologists, but Remus disagrees. Sometimes, having a different opinion just makes you wrong.

Vance brushes her long, blond hair back. "You drive a motorcycle, right?" She asks Black. "Which means you need fuel. You can attack Exxon, but at the same time, you're one of the consumers creating the demand they're providing." She crosses her arms over her chest, looking quite smug.

Black arches an eyebrow. "I try to make the world a better place, whilst not being perfect myself, yes."

"Well, doesn't that make you…"

"A hypocrite?" Black finishes.

Vance shrugs.

"No one can do everything right. If trying to do good while you know you will sometimes get it wrong makes you a hypocrite, then not even trying to do any good only because you know you can't do everything makes you a cynic." Black crosses his arms over his chest and looks Vance in the eyes. "And then I'd rather be a hypocrite than a cynic."

"And you think bringing a company to the verge of bankruptcy with such an erratic fine is 'doing good'?" Vance asks. "If you take speeding, for instance, people don't speed because they know what fine they'll have to pay when they do. The fine Exxon has been given, however, is unprecedented. Therefore, Exxon couldn't have taken it into account when deciding upon their actions. Therefore, it is unfair." She looks quite pleased with herself.

Black does not look impressed with her argumentation, though. "We fine Exxon because we want them to not pour a gallon of crude oil over a baby seal," he says. "Not because we want to enable them to conduct a detailed cost-benefit-analysis on the strategy of pouring a gallon of crude oil over a baby seal! If they don't like that the consequences are unpredictable, good. It's a punishment, they're supposed to not like it."

"But you can't let such a vital company face the threat of bankruptcy!" Vance persists, clearly trying to get under Black's skin.

Black shrugs. "You're the one who started drawing parallels with criminal law. Alright, but then let's be consistent. What's the highest price someone can pay for the worst crime? It's their actual life. Now, Exxon has destroyed ecosystems, destroyed the lives of hundreds of people, and killed countless wildlife. It doesn't get much worse than that, so what would be the corporate equivalent of having to pay with your life? Bankruptcy indeed, if you follow your own logic."

"But do you really think Exxon is going to pay up?" Edgar Bones asks carefully. "I mean, Exxon has got an whole army of the best lawyers at their disposal. They can keep appealing the verdict to a higher and higher court, and keep stalling the process. The plaintiffs will be broke and forced to give up any further legal proceedings before they ever see a dime."

"If Exxon wants to drag this process out for years," Black replies instantly. "Then I will be breathing down their neck every single day for as long as it lasts and make sure they won't get a moment of rest from this case until they pay up! If we let them get away with this, simply because they have more means, it'll send a message to all companies like them that they can do whatever they want and no one will hold them accountable."

"But they won't be able to afford your services anymore."

"I don't want any money, not until the plaintiffs have been paid what they are due," Black says passionately, balling his fists.

"I suppose it's good exposure for your brand," Vance contemplates. "Being the activist lawyer engaged in a legal battle with Exxon."

Black gives her a hard look. "Some things aren't about money, or exposure. Some things just matter."

Remus stares at Black. That unwavering conviction, that fierce determination… It does something to him. Seeing that burning passion in his eyes, it makes something stir in Remus' stomach.

Remus chugs the rest of his his wine and places the empty glass on a passing waitress' tray, before making his way over to the group.

"Professor Lupin!" Vance says, batting her eyelashes at him. "Always good to see you."

"Hi Remus," Edgar Bones says warmly, giving Remus a quick once-over. "Glad you decided to come tonight."

"Yes, hi," Remus says, without taking his eyes off of Black, whose mouth is opening and closing like a fish without any words coming out. "Could I steal the man of the moment for a bit?" He asks, winking at Black. "To congratulate him on his big win."

Vance looks from Remus to Black and back. "Figures," she mumbles, before brushing her blond hair back and stalking off.

"Oh, I was hoping…" Edgar Bones begins.

"Of course, Remus," Amelia Bones interrupts, grabbing her brother's arm and dragging him away. "Come on, Ed. Let them have a moment."

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important?" Remus asks sweetly, smiling at Black.

Black's face flushes. "No! No, nothing important! Just talking about… how you should be a hypocrite, and how you can calculate the benefits of pouring oil on a baby seal, and how my clients will go bankrupt paying me…"

Remus arches an eyebrow.

Black cringes at himself, and covers his eyes with his hand, groaning. "Oh god, I swear… I swear, I'm actually smart!" He says. "I have more than two brain cells! I swear I do! The rest just somehow… switches off when it comes to you."

Remus throws his head back and lets out a genuine laugh. "Well, I guess it's good then that I'm not some corporate lawyer on the other side of the courtroom," he teases.

"It wouldn't have mattered then," Black mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus frowns. "How so?"

"I like how dedicated you are to your research," Black explains. "It's not just a job to you, you actually care. The way you talk about an exciting new research idea," a spark appears in Black's eyes as he talks. "With that contagious excitement, and always so hopeful, no matter how bad the world can be, that we can make it better. There's a fire and a passion to you." Black seems to realize he's been rambling, and he shrugs awkwardly. "I hardly would've been impressed to the point of my brain shutting down if you had been using that fire and passion to defend some bank's right to invest their client's money in cutting down the rainforest."

Remus stares at him.

He was not expecting this. His face feels warm, and- God, is he blushing? He can't remember the last time he blushed!

He thought Sirius liked him because he's handsome and successful. Many people do. But Sirius has seen him, and likes him for the kind of person he is. Remus feels something stir again, but this time not in his stomach, but higher, in the chest-area.

He gives Sirius a warm smile. "Thank you," he says sincerely, and then he laughs. "What can I say? Some things just matter."

Sirius just looks at him for a moment, before snapping out of it. "Oh, it's nothing." He wants to make a dismissive gesture with his hand, but he has forgotten he's holding a glass of red wine, and ends up throwing it all over his shirt. "Shite!" He curses, wiping his hands over his shirt, only making it worse. "Dammit, dammit! God, I'm such a bloody pillock!"

Remus looks on with a fond smile. Yes, it's going to take a lot of effort to bring out that confident, competent Sirius Black around him, but Remus has the feeling that it's going to be worth it.

#my tumblr writing #confident remus lupin #handsome remus lupin #flustered sirius black #awkward sirius black #environmentalism #environmental justice #smart sirius black #but remus thinks he's a dummy #catching feelings #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius

163 notes · View notes

zenaidamacrouras1 · 1 year

Note

Heyo! For the wrapped ask, number 13? Stucky?

Also just wanted to say you’re one of my favourite fic authors I’ve found in a while ❤️ I often anticipate the smutty stuff the most but in your fics I enjoy the in-betweens so much! The way your write children is simultaneously the most warm yet hilarious prose and it always feels so much more lifelike than I often read? Having kids probably helps lol. Sorry I’m just rambling on but you’ve brought me a lot of comfort in the past few months and I appreciate you a lot

Hope you have a good one!!! :)

Thank you for the amazingly kind sweet words - so encouraging - flattery will get you everywhere, so here is a 2500 word smutty fic inspired by this wistful little love song, and yes, I wrote this whole fucking thing last night laying in bed and edited it today in between work calls because I have ADHD, we've talked about this, my brain is very good at doing exactly what it wants and sometimes our interests align and things like this happen.

I listened to this album (So Jealous) on repeat when writing the sad chapters of my fic Tension and Tonic, so not surprised this song ended up in my top songs nor in the direction this story took.

Tegan and Sarah - Take Me Anywhere

Warning this is smutty with graphic sexytimes.

“Stop making me laugh. I'm trying to be sexy," Steve laughs.

"If you can't laugh and be sexy what are you even doing, sweetheart," Bucky drawls back and that's probably when Steve fell in love with Bucky. Unfortunately it was also during their first hook up. It was decent enough - mutual blow jobs. Bucky clearly knew what he was doing. On the surface nothing too different than Steve’s normal routine of finding a guy and blowing off some steam, but there were a lot of subtle red flags that should have warned Steve to run like hell.

Like how entranced Steve was when it was his turn to make Bucky feel good. Bucky, with his dancer's grace, with the asymmetry of his missing arm making the lines of him more perfect somehow, his long hair falling loose into his face, framing his perfect jawline, the pink O of his mouth, the dark smudge of his eyelashes. The way his elegant fingers fluttered so tenderly along Steve's cheek when he sucked in. It was. Lovely. Bucky is lovely. Lovable. It's a problem.

That first time Bucky had sort of folded Steve into his body after, pulling him up onto the couch and burying his face in Steve's hair in a way that normally would have made Steve bristle because he is small but he's not a fucking stuffed animal. But Bucky hummed and sighed in this contented way. Bucky is all bones and muscular and yet fluid and it feels powerful to be held so desperately by someone like that.

"Sorry I’m a cuddler, just shove me off when you get sick of me," Bucky hums, and laughs after a minute, and lets Steve go. "Don't make fun of me, I can't have sex with out snuggling, I should have warned you in the Grindr chat," and Bucky is easy and lax and happy and Steve could have maybe stayed longer without it being weird, but by then, he kind of wanted to stay forever so he definitely needed to go right away.

Bucky is a former ballet dancer. Well, he still dances actually, but he was a principal with the New York City Ballet till he lost his arm, a story he shrugs off easily. "My ma always said I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached and turns out it's the same for my arm? I called the Coney Island lost and found, but it wasn't there? Just kidding, it was a car accident, just glad I'm alive." He's the assistant director of fundraising for the ballet now, and does some choreography too, Steve's not sure how it all works, but Bucky is happy and charming and Steve would definitely hand over all his money to fund the ballet if Bucky had asked him. But. Bucky's never asked him to donate to the ballet. They don't talk about work stuff beyond the minimum. Steve’s just happy they talk at all.

The next week Steve's phone pings and it's Bucky on Grindr again, and apparently Bucky had a shit day and wants to get fucked, and he likes Steve's dick so, well, does Steve top? Steve saves his work, stops his time tracker, and that's all the graphics that are getting designed for today. He changes out of his work from home sweats and puts on his date jeans, and heads over to Bucky's place to take them back off again. Bucky's wearing a suit, his hair slicked back, and the arm of the suit neatly tailored up. He looks amazing, his tie just a little loose around his neck, his eyes lazy and suggestive, moving right into Steve's space and dipping his head down for a kiss before Steve can even say hello.

Steve can work with that, he pushes Bucky into the wall and spreads Bucky’s legs enough so that they're the same height and untucks Bucky's shirt so he can feel up his slim frame. Steve moves Bucky through his apartment and into his bed, and climbs on top of Bucky, and Bucky reaches into the bedtime table for lube and condoms and it's good, it's so good, and Steve can't recommend fucking a ballerina or whatever a guy ballet dancer is any higher, especially when Bucky bites hard into Steve's shoulder and keens desperately and more and more until Steve's ready to last forever if Bucky needs him to, except then Bucky's shaking apart with his one hand in Steve's hair and kissing him messily all teeth and heaving breath and that's fine. Steve loves Bucky's teeth.

After, Steve's forcibly cuddled by Bucky again, which is fine because Steve's legs are kind of rubbery because he's not as athletic as Bucky - then again, who is.

Steve cuddles with Bucky and listens to him ramble on about nothing in particular before sliding back into his date jeans and letting himself out. In his head tells himself this is a business transaction more or less. Steve is a consultant who knows how to do authentic and meaningful work for his clients and move on. A skillshare of sorts.

It sort of becomes a Friday night thing. Most Friday nights Bucky seems to have some kind of high end fundraiser related to his work at the ballet. It makes sense that Bucky can’t be hunting for a hookup while representing his work, so it’s perfectly logical that he’d touch base with Steve after for a bit of no strings attached fun. Steve doesn’t see any need to tell Bucky that he’s not seeing anyone else and also that he’d love to be Bucky’s boyfriend because, haha, what? Why would he say that?

Honestly, they barely know each other beyond Steve having every inch of Bucky’s flexible, lovely body memorized. Steve’s favorite parts are the imperfections, the freckles, the scars, the cowlick that makes his hair stick up funny if he doesn’t slather product in it. He doesn’t mention it, because what kind of asshole would mention it, but he’s transfixed by the way Bucky adapts to having one arm, because it’s just so fucking beautiful. It draws the eye, the way his liquid grace casually defies gravity. It often seems his momentum should go one way, but it seamlessly flows another, and Steve wants to draw Bucky or at least take a picture of him. But they don’t do that.

"I looked up your art," Bucky murmurs into Steve's hair one evening during their post coital cling session that maybe gets a little longer every week. Steve kind of freezes because what? He didn’t realize Bucky even knew his last name? "It's good. You're pretty badass. It's impressive. I can't draw for shit, so I was curious what kind of art you do. Maybe we could commission you at the ballet, you like drawing ballet shoes and legs and shit?"

"Oh," Steve says because, like, seriously, Bucky, do you not know what a hookup is? Steve should be getting dressed right now, not letting Bucky lazily slide his hand up and down Steve's back while talking about his art.

"It's dynamic, lots of movement, reminded me of dancing. Maybe I have a dancing brain. Everything reminds me of dancing," Bucky laughs, and his breath is hot into Steve's hair, and Steve laughs too, because laughter is the appropriate response and also dear oh dear. Yeah. Bucky Barnes is lovable.

"You had heart surgery?" Bucky asks in a sudden subject change. And Steve wonders for a minute how Bucky knows that. In his defense, he's drunk on sex endorphins and being stroked like a kitten and practically purring.

"Yeah, couple of em," Steve says. It's such an enormous scar. Obviously Bucky noticed the damn thing, they’ve been naked together close to a dozen times.

"It's all ticking away alright now though?" Bucky says softly, and Steve huffs a yes and pulls back before he falls asleep. "Should I not have asked? I feel like I have no filter about scars and shit since I got de-armed. It's like, I dunno. My injury is the first thing everyone sees. You're probably as bored as I am of talking about it."

"Did you ever have a filter?" Steve teases, and Bucky laughs hard, his head thrown back with joy, and that feels good. "Yeah, Buck, I'm pretty healthy these days."

Steve manages to escape a little while later. He looks up videos of Bucky dancing. It's only fair if Bucky's been looking up Steve's art. What he does next in the privacy of his own home when he sees Bucky's thighs in those ballet tights is his own business. All of the videos are from before the car accident. Bucky looks strange with two arms, off balance and overloaded, which makes absolutely no sense, but Steve’s just so used to Bucky’s body how it is now.

They meet up the next week, and Bucky’s freshly showered from a dance performance, which, Steve didn’t realize Bucky was performing anymore, let alone today. Bucky’s full of adrenaline and way pushier than normal, taking Steve’s mouth and getting Steve up against the wall. Usually Steve doesn’t like to be pushed around, but he trusts Bucky by now. He’s really a super nice guy. Steve couldn’t be luckier in having such a convenient sex arrangement with such a beautiful, kind, sexually compatible person. This is a thought he has briefly before Bucky grabs him by the crotch and presses their shoulders together hard, slamming Steve into the wall, and Steve’s mind kind of whites out.

After they’re laying on the floor in the hallway of Bucky’s apartment, huffing and limp and half dressed. Steve reaches into his jacket pocket, (how convenient they are still right there by the door) and takes a puff of his inhaler.

“Shit, you ok?” Bucky asks in surprise.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m cat-sitting for a friend, got my allergies up, and you know, I know that wasn’t enough exertion to get your heart rate up, but some of us mere mortals have physical limits.”

Bucky laughs dryly. “My heart rate was up Steve. Before the physical exertion started, actually though,” he adds softly. And what is that supposed to mean?

Steve lays in bed awake half the night trying to decide if he should go to Bucky’s dance performance the next night. It’s in a massive hall, there’s no way Bucky would know. Is it too intimate? Is it too stalkery? Does he mention it after if he goes? Is it weirder if he goes and doesn’t mention it? That would be weird if he doesn’t mention it, so okay he has to mention it but does he mention it before or after he goes? The tickets are expensive too, so then it’s weird like, does he seem like he’s trying to score free tickets if he mentions it before? But then Bucky seems like the type to be annoyed if Steve pays when Bucky has free tickets on offer. Ugh.

In the end, Steve goes, and he buys the ticket and doesn’t tell Bucky, and he cries because Bucky’s dancing is amazing, and breathtaking, and every adjective, and Steve could draw only Bucky for the rest of his life and not have captured the lines, the strength of him, the defiance. He wants to explain to the person next to him that he’s not crying because he’s like inspired that Bucky is disabled, but because he’s in love with Bucky, and it’s one thing to suspect the guy you’ve been fucking with no strings attached every Friday night for months is perfect, but it’s another thing to have it proven.

Steve doesn’t mention to Bucky that he went to his performance, but he tries to put it into the way he touches Bucky the next week. Reverent. He spends close to an hour opening Bucky up with his mouth and fingers, and the sounds Bucky makes when Steve finally enters him, kissing him gently down his neck, the way Bucky’s out of athletic moves to try and wow Steve with, but just transcendently arching up, helpless with pleasure, that’s how Steve lets Bucky know he saw him dance, and he loved it, and he loves Bucky.

That night, Bucky asks him to stay the night, and Steve actually has an early Saturday meeting with a client, he’s not making it up, he even shows Bucky the calendar note, and Bucky laughs happily, and says it isn’t a big deal. But. It seems like a big deal. Steve makes sure not to schedule anything the next Saturday, in case Bucky asks again, but Bucky doesn’t ask again. Which is fine.

Then something strange happens. Steve’s locking up Wanda’s apartment from checking on her cat, and his phone pings, and it’s Bucky via Grindr, asking for Steve’s phone number. It’s actually super weird they haven’t done the phone number thing yet, honestly, Steve doesn’t even use Grindr except to confirm his weekly dates with Bucky. Steve sends his number over as he’s walking to the subway to head back home, it’s only one stop, but it’s cold.

Bucky texts him right away, asking him what he’s doing Friday. Steve says he’s open, because, duh? At this point, Steve would turn down the presidential medal of freedom if the ceremony was on a Friday night between 10 pm and midnight.

Bucky asks him what he’s doing at 6 pm on Friday, and that’s new. They almost never hang out before 10 pm, or whenever Bucky’s fundraising events wrap up. Steve’s not doing anything in particular, and says as much. Bucky asks if he’d hate wearing a suit and getting free wine? And Steve does not, in fact, hate free wine. He also has a decent suit, he thinks it’s pretty stylish still, he had it tailored a few years ago, but men’s styles don’t change as fast as women’s, which is a relief when you are not a standard human male size and have to have all your clothes custom fit to make sure you don’t look like a child wearing their dad’s dress up clothes.

Bucky asks if Steve would want to meet up with him at his fundraiser on Friday, it’s at an art gallery, and the art reminded him of Steve. Steve feels his heart pound.

S: I like free wine, wearing suits, and art galleries. Sure.

B: Another question.

S: I also like answering questions

B: Do you like holding hands?

S: Depends on the hand.

B: I mean, I only have the one.

Steve feels dizzy.

S: Yes, I would like holding your hand. One is sufficient for my needs.

B: And you would like holding my hand and going somewhere with me on a date?

S: You could take me anywhere.

#spotify wrapped writing challenge #spotify wrapped ficlet #spotify wrapped fic #this is 2500 words #it's a damn fic #I'll clean it up and post it to ao3 at some point too #stucky au #stucky fanfic #ballet Bucky #Catching feelings #is my weakness.#smut

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