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terrainofheartfelt · 1 year

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lizwas fanfics: 2022 in review

so this was my second year ever of writing and posting on ao3, and for me, because I have chronic tunnel vision when it comes to tasks, thought I would do a look back at all I've written this year because hoooooooooooo boy 'twas a lot.

To render again and receive | 12.8k | E an unexpected addition to the little women au-verse, but very fun and delightful to put together! from Dan's pov, taking place between chapters 1 & 2 of a Heart in port.

But you can make decisions too | 11.1k | M an installment of my Date season 4 AU - Saints & Sinners, but with a gay twist!

all the things you are (are mine) | 4.3k | E a smutty valentine's fic starring Dair, as it is their holiday after all

I'm stuck on your heart | 4.7k | M a valentine's day fic for Dan/Nate, inspired by that one bit in schitt's creek

(everything you say sounds like) sweet talk | 3.5k | T season 4 Dair au, inspired by Jonah and Amy from Superstore

such a lot of world to see | 23.1k | E part of the Mouthful of Forevers s6 and beyond au. Dan and Blair spend the summer backpacking through Europe (well, Blair's definition of backpacking)

an ever-fixèd mark | 5.3k | E another unplanned addition to the floating castle dreams series, brought on by s2 of Bridgerton and that one scene in atonement

it's something new (because of you) | 3.9 | E part of what I call the Milo-verse. Dan and Blair get married and are soooooooo sappy about it. A smutty scene from Dan and Blair's honeymoon in Tuscany.

without effusion of blood | 6.1k | E just what happened after 2.18 when Blair brought Carter Baizen home? this fic tries to answer that question.

the whole web of it | 4.8k | G future fic in the MoF series. Dan celebrates his birthday with his wife and kids. tooth rottin fluff.

(the more you say) the less I know | 70.9k | T the big one of the year, the Pride and Prejudice AU, starring Dan as Lizzie, Blair as Darcy, and a whole host characters causing drama and comedy alike

that’s the kind of love (I’ve been dreaming of) | 3.4 | E absolutely filthy kinky sequel to a smut oneshot from last year. Married!Dair being total simps for each other

for better or worse and the promise of verse | 19k | E another installment in the Miloverse. AKA The One Where Blair and Dan Get Married. Possibly the sappiest thing I have ever written.

where the sun falls down on me | 29k | M Jenny goes to spend the summer off from uni in the Hamptons, with her brother and his fiancée (ugh), and their best friend, her old pal Nate Archibald. Jenate, with a side of Dair & Rufly.

at first chance | 7.1k | E smutastic epilogue to the above. Jen spends an evening alone in Nate’s new flat, waiting for him to get back from his bar shift. Nate’s not the best at building furniture.

let love consume me | 2.1k | E dairthaniel pwp. no context necessary.

never for money, always for love | 25k | NR collection of drabbles written to one word prompts on tumblr. Enclosed is: Dair, Date, van der Humphreys, Haizen, Blairena, Jenate, Serenessa, Dangina, Dairthaniel, Serenate, and much fluff angst and canon divergence.

punch drunk kiss (I know you need it) | 2.4k | E Dan x Carter Baizen. Carter pov following one of the drabbles above. P.W.P. Written for Kinktober

twin flame bruise | 15.2k | T Derena. An au of the musical The Last Five Years. Dan and Serena’s loving but doomed relationship, told in flashes and vignettes from each person’s perspective. with a side of dairfair.

anyway the wind blows | 2.6k | T inspired by the song “Westbound BART,” an imagined prequel of how Rufus Humphrey met Alison in late 80s San Francisco.

a hard day’s night | 4.5k | E porn with a little bit of plot. Blair comes home after a long day at the office and asks Dan for a favor to help her unwind. Written for Kinktober.

like a lightbulb in a dark room | 4.3k | E Dairthaniel. Written for Kinktober. smut with a soupçon of plot.

the love that let us share our name | 7.5k | T dilf!Date! the story of how Nate and Dan Humphrey become dads. Written after my dilf!date headcanons

can’t believe you notice me | 3.6k | E season 3 coat closet scene, but make it Dan/Nate. AU in which Nate is Dan and Olivia’s third, bringing up feelings for these sweet himbos.

a snowfall kind of love | 49k | T AU of Nancy Meyer’s The Holiday. Vanessa and Blair switch houses for their Christmas vacations, and end up falling for people in the other’s respective cities. Dair & Natessa, featuring special appearances by Milo Humphrey and Cyrus Rose.

#gossip girl #HOLY SHIT that’s a long list!#no wonder I’m tired lmao #thank you all so so so much for reading and caring it means a great deal to me ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#liz’s ficz #smut fics are locked on ao3 #which means you will have to log in to your ao3 account to read #please read responsibly

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mother-of-houseplants-2 · 10 months

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thoughts on the gallagher siblings’ relationships with fiona

and what specific and nuanced role she takes on in their lives—mother, sister, or something in between.

special thanks to @aceyanaheim for not only listening to me ramble on and on about my silly little gallagher siblings thoughts, but also for sharing so many insightful and poignant ideas themselves on the matter. thanks so much for the brain worms! <3

lip

lip’s relationship with his sister is complicated. they’re only four years apart in age, so he’s a little more conscious of fiona’s situation than the other kids.

he doesn’t see it all—fi keeps her struggles a little too under wraps for that—but he knows what she’s had to sacrifice to take care of them all (“i stole so fiona didn’t have to work a third job to cover the bills” s11). he knows how alone she feels (“you’re not supermom; you don’t have to do it all yourself” s3). he knows she struggles (seeing her cry over the sticks and skates job in s1). he knows what she’s lost in the process (“you called her mom” s1). he knows that the kids aren't fair to her a lot of the time ("we've taken you for granted. i know i have" s4).

but as much as lip sees what fiona goes through, as much as he picks up jobs to help out with the bills, as much as he takes care of the little ones, he’s still a kid in need of a mother figure. he still leans on fiona, hard.

all of s2, lip struggles with seeing fiona as a sister vs. a mother. he wants independence, he wants to follow his own plans in life, and he doesn’t want anyone to stop him—in his mind, who’s fiona to tell him what to do? he can drop out if he wants to. he’s done one more year than her! she can’t make him go. she can’t. she’s not his mom.

but, well, isn’t she? he’s still a kid who messed up and needs help. he’s still a boy who can’t go it all alone. he’s still a sixteen year old child who finally comes home and gives his big sister a hug because, despite all his big talk, he needs her. he does. and fiona loves him more than anything. she just wants what’s best for him, even if she struggles to express it in a manner that doesn’t push him away.

lip doesn’t want to call fiona “mom” (s3) but he’s okay with her taking guardianship. and why wouldn’t he be? she’s done the job his whole life. and he sees that.

the problem is that lip, as much as he wants to be independent of fiona, as much as he wants to see her as a sister and not a mom, he can’t help but to idealize her. he still craves for the perfect mom in his head that never messes up and always takes care of them, and since monica for sure was never going to be that mom, he’s superimposed that desire over fiona. but that version of her doesn’t exist. that version of any mother doesn’t exist. mothers are human. they mess up. they make mistakes. even if no one wants them to.

so when fiona messes up (s3 with the club money, s4 with liam, s8 with the apartment, s9 with the drinking) it’s unthinkable to him. he’s furious with her—rightfully so, she did mess up—but he’s disproportionately angry because she was supposed to be their mom! she was supposed to be good and never fuck up and always take care of them! so when she breaks that image of perfection in his head, it shatters his trust in her, somewhat unfairly so.

fiona’s not allowed to mess up. she can’t. she’s not supposed to. she’s supposed to be the one taking care of everyone, not in need of care herself. lip is understanding and gentle and supportive when it’s ian or debbie or carl, and fiona’s the same with him, but when fiona’s spiraling into addiction and her life is falling apart, he’s all tough love. maybe it terrifies him.

when she leaves, it’s obviously sad. but he’s grown by then to know that she’s her own person, not just a mother figure to them all. it’s hard. but he’s at that point that everyone comes to in life when they realize their parents are individuals with their own lives and hopes and dreams. and he lets her go.

at the end of the day, a huge part of lip’s relationships with fiona is his eternal struggle between wanting independence and wanting a mom—and not just any mom, but a mom he can trust and love and depend on. that mom is fiona, even when she fucks up.

ian

ian was fiona’s first baby. he was the first child she really, truly raised—lip was always her boy, but he was also her second-in-command, blurring the lines between brother and son, working together with her to take care of the others—while ian was the first baby she was all on her own for. the “we were living in a car once…” speech in s3 makes that clear.

in the early seasons, it’s clear that ian defers to fiona quite a bit. he listens to her, seeks her out for comfort, respects her word like that of a mother. fiona calls him sweetface, expresses maternal affection with him, and he is receptive of it all in that long-suffering way older teens tend to be with their moms. their relationship is more mother-son than anything else.

but at the same time, he's still marginally aware of her struggles, too, just like lip; the conversation he has with his brother in s3 when fi tries to get guardianship ("she's only twenty-two!") makes it clear that he worries for her, doesn't want her to take on a terrible burden for them. so it's clear that, though he does see fiona in a maternal light, he isn't blind to her reality.

this all changes, however, when ian starts to grow up and want independence and freedom. fiona tries to give him this in s4 when he joins the army, even though it doesn't work out. and in s5, when he is finally forced to confront his own struggles with mental illness and deal with his bipolar disorder, he starts to bond more with monica.

now, this is understandable, seeing as they share the same mood disorder and he feels connected to her through their similar struggles. at first, he actually resents being compared to her ("i'm not fucking monica" s5), but the more they communicate and bond (s7), the more he comes to care for her.

s8 shows ian genuinely mourning his mother (getting sentimental over her meth, getting a tattoo for her), and the other gallaghers don't really understand it, which upsets him; in his mind, that's their mom! why aren't they upset too? i think it's lost on ian that no one else in the family ever had the same connection with monica that he did. she bonded with him; she didn't do the same for the others before her repeated abandonment.

so ian starts to see monica as "mom." where does that leave fiona?

i think this truly marks the final shift of their relationship from parent-child to siblings. especially when looking at s8, where they're fighting over the church. in 'occupy fiona,' ian is furious with her perceived selfishness, and screams at her when she attempts her typical motherly nagging in the form of asking him if he's taking his meds. which, fair; that must be frustrating to hear. but this makes it clear that they're on two separate pages: fiona still sees him as a son. ian sees him as a sister.

but fiona's seeking independence, too. she's seeking an identity that is distinct from her role as caretaker. it isn't just ian growing apart from his sister that's shifted their relationship so dramatically; both characters seek an escape from their family and a life where they can be independent and all grown-up. and in a typical parent-child relationship, only one side of the equation feels those growing pains. in this situation, it's both.

of course, no matter how much they grow apart and hurt each other, they still adore one another. ian's the one fiona goes to for advice about leaving in s9, after all. he's the one who urges her to go and save herself from another lifetime of gallagher chaos. so really, the change in their relationship doesn't destroy their bond; it just alters it a little.

debbie

debbie had, i think, one of the most tumultuous relationships with her sister. as a little girl, she definitely saw fiona as a mother figure, and was very attached to her, almost subconsciously so. the "i wanna stay with fiona" from s1, the way she sought her out for comfort after monica's suicide attempt in s2, the terror she felt at being separated from her after dcfs got involved in s3—it all makes it very clear that little debbie very much saw fiona as her mom.

she still had some understanding of her sister's struggles—"fiona takes care of everyone, but who takes care of fiona?" (s1)—but she was still a little girl and fiona was still her mom.

and then monica came crashing back into their lives. debbie very reluctantly accepted her in, hugging her at sheila's and allowing her to buy her dolls (even though she didn't play with them anymore!) just to humor her mother's attempts to build a relationship. so, as much as debbie unconsciously saw fiona as a mother figure, she still always had this craving for monica—her real mom.

it makes me think of debbie's assertion to sheila in s1 that if monica ever came back and apologized, she'd "forgive her in a heartbeat. because she's [debbie's] mom." she was still a little girl hanging onto the dream that her mom will come home and love her and take care of her. and she barely realized that she'd found someone else to fill in the gap monica left behind, but it's just not the same. she still wants her real mom.

season 4 marks the shift of debbie's character from seeing fiona as a mom to seeing her as a sister—or, at least, wanting to see her as a sister. like ian, she was desperate for independence. she was being peer pressured by girls at school, she was interested in boys, she didn't want to be seen or treated like a baby anymore. she was fed up with fiona still treating her like she's her daughter because she's not. she doesn't want to be.

and anyway, fiona was busy with her new job at the cup company and her new boyfriend mike. she wasn't around all the time anymore. sheila'd been babysitting more and more. debbie was the one taking liam to and from head start. she felt abandoned, alone, with fiona not around as much as before.

she sought comfort in sammi. she found purpose in her friends, in boys. it's a very knee-jerk teenage-girl reaction: to find connection in others when you're mad at your mom. but for debbie, she wasn't just shifting away from fiona as a daughter growing distant from her mom, she was shifting away from the idea of fiona as her mom in the first place.

and then, of course, franny happened and drove a terrible wedge between them both. debbie grappled with her identity as a mother. she rejected fiona's help and advice in favor of her quest for independence. monica returned, made her feel like debbie's a good mom. frank supported her. and debbie was in a position where she had both her parents on her side—her real parents—while fiona opposed her. this, i think, solidified fiona in her mind as her sister. not her mother figure anymore.

don't get me wrong; fiona was in the right opposing her at this time. debbie's pregnancy was a stupid idea. it really did ruin her life and her character overall, and it was unfair of debbie to expect fiona's support in that situation. fiona was being a good mother by telling her she was making a mistake. she still saw debbie as her little girl. debbie's the one who didn't accept that anymore.

after debbie and fiona made up later in the show, they settled into a true sister-sister relationship. debbie came to see fiona at her worst ("she broke her wrist, she's nonstop ugly crying" s9) and tried to take care of her, while fiona still tried to resist the flipping of their roles ("i'm fine. i'm fine." s9). debbie fucked up ford for her that season. got angry and protective on her behalf.

and when fiona left at the end of the season, she left as debbie's sister. no longer her mom. at least, not from debbie's perspective anymore.

carl

carl's relationship with fiona, i believe, was one of the least complicated and most wholesome ones on the show. carl absolutely saw fiona as a mom in the early seasons, without a doubt. he listened to her even when he didn't want to, like a little boy to his mother ("did you brush your teeth? carl?" "yes, ugh!!!!" s1), reluctantly learned lessons from her ("privacy's important" s2), looked to her for permission for things (glancing at her when monica asked him to pass the salad in s1 and only doing it when fiona nodded yes), and sought her out for comfort after monica's suicide attempt (s3).

carl's the only one i can vividly remember saying he loves his sister ("'night, fiona, love you" s1) or thanking her for what she's done for them all ("thanks for being a great sister" s3). at least when he was little, fiona was without a doubt his mom.

it certainly helps that he never really bonded with monica. she left when he was too little to start seeing her as a mom, and every time she returned, she never really took the time to get to know him or connect with him. but carl did briefly bond with frank (the fake cancer arc in s3, "i'm shaving your head to let the sun rays in"), and was the only one who cared about him potentially dying in season four, tending to him in the hospital when no one else did.

season four is when he, like debbie, starts to rebel against fiona's parenting. he's angry and sad and mean and it all comes out in the form of sharp words and beating up kids at school and getting into all kinds of trouble. he's mad at fiona for not caring about frank, but he's also just mad at the world—understandly so. he's fourteen.

the trouble continues well into season 6. carl gets mixed up with g-doggg, starts selling drugs. frank helps him get into the drug world, but he gets caught. he goes to juvie, comes back a little harder, a little meaner. sells harder stuff, sells guns. the whole time, he's established a sort of distance from fiona, because he's too cool for deep, vulnerable relationships, or so he thinks. and the whole time, fiona continues to love him, tries to connect with him, attempts to open his eyes and make him realize how dangerous what he's doing is, but he's determined to be his own man, to earn the respect of his buddies. he feels like frank's the only one who understands.

but then he gets hurt and scared. he sees someone die. he wants out. and frank—who he hasn't like, loved, per-say, but has at least trusted and established some sort of camaraderie with through their shared misdeeds—betrays him, scares the shit out of him with his anger and disappointment. and who does carl have to fall back on but fiona?

fiona tells him she's proud of him. she and sean help him get out of the drug world. their relationship is finally rekindled. and it's around his time when carl overhears fiona cry to sean about being exhausted and scared about losing the house (s6). and it terrifies him, because here's his strong big sister, the woman who raised him, young and vulnerable and afraid. and he steps up and gives her the money to buy back the house. he's there for her. he's being a good man.

from then on, carl shapes up and his character is on track to make something better of himself. he takes on some form of responsibility, denounces his father, and goes to military school. and fiona's so fucking proud of her boy. because he is her boy—always will be, no matter how much he tries to be a strong, independent, grown-up.

when he comes home in s7, he's grown to be a kind, goodhearted, respectful young man. he doesn't refuse her hugs and kisses. he admits—though with some hesitation—that "you were right, fiona! and we were so fucking wrong!" in s8. and when monica dies, he's... conflicted. but he's okay. because fiona was always his mom, anyway. and that never changed.

liam

liam has never known any parent other than fiona.

sure, lip helped a great deal with taking care of him and raising him, and, much later, he bonded quite a bit with frank. and his relationship with most of his siblings is very parental at its core—he’s the baby, after all, and all of his siblings had a hand in raising him.

but fiona was the one who fed and changed and cared for him his whole life. took him to work with her as a baby (s1). dealt with his hair when he had lice (s6). stood up for him against anyone who dared to hurt him (s9). it was always her, really, in the end. it was only her.

liam was just a baby when monica left. and he was—what, 6?—when she died. there are a few times when she randomly returns when they spent time together, but he doesn’t even really remember her because he was too little. he’s never known a mother other than fi. she’s the only one that matters, really.

i’m still upset that she didn’t take liam with her when she left in s9, and that we didn’t see them stay in contact throughout the remainder of the show. obviously, this was just because emmy rossum left, so it’s just a reflection of the writers working around their situations, but it just felt heartbreakingly unrealistic to me.

they loved each other so much. that was her son, her little boy, her baby bear. she was his mom. no two ways about it.

it wasn't until after fiona distanced herself from the family and then left that liam and frank grew close. frank got him into private school (s8), recruited liam to steal from his rich friends (s8/9), and liam, in turn, made it his mission to take care of frank when his health started declining and his mind started deteriorating to his alcholic dementia (s10/11). part of that connection was absolutely due to liam's bigheartedness; he's such a good, loving kid, with so much forgiveness and love to give to people.

i also wonder if a part of that connection resulted from the desire for parental love and affection. liam's smart enough to know that frank will never care for him the way fiona did, but he seems at peace with his father's shortcomings. he wants a relationship with him anyway.

regardless of the reasoning, liam was so loved by his family and his parental figures—both fiona and frank.

in conclusion

i think, from fiona's perspective, she was always the kids' mom ("my siblings are my kids" s9), even though at times her relationship with them blurred the lines between maternal and sisterly. but from the kids' points of view, she was always a very complicated figure in their lives.

the gallagher siblings' complex relationships with their sister are really at the heart of the show; she is the matriarch, the thing holding everyone together, after all. not all the kids had easy connections to her. many of them grappled with their vision of her as a mother vs. a sister. but that doesn't erase what she did for them.

she still raised them. she still cared for them, mothered them. as messy as their relationships were a great deal of the time, she was the best parent those kids ever fucking had. she was their mother through and through, and that is what made shameless truly, unabashedly, shameless.

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adhbombus · 7 months

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I love the running gag that’s Norm just does some crazy shit and then Doof is like a “damn really? I gotta read that instruction manual “and norms like “Yes you should.:)”

#dictated post #It’s like 4:30 in the morning #And I’m trying to go to sleep #So I can get to class on time #And here I am thinking about the funny Robot man #With my glasses off mind you #I have no idea what the fuck I’m writing #phineas and ferb #pnf norm #!!!! him the guy #normal about norm #I was also dictating that long list of tags #But I had to separate them because it went over the character limit that I didn’t know existed #I knew there was a Attack limit. The tag limit is 50.#But the tag character limit is 140 #Damn that’s crazy #Holy shit dictation adds commas #I’m sorry for clocking to text so go back to sleep

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solarfawnn · 1 year

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Looking for mutuals to make this place less lonely (I am currently talking to my cat)

What I like/post/reblog - in no particular order

The Sandman (show on Netflix, have not yet read the comics)

The Umbrella Academy

First Kill (rip)

Stranger Things

Studio Ghibli

Books

Fantasy in general

Neil Gaiman

Goblincore

Dark Academia

I'm a sucker for anything that looks nice tbh

Art

Drawings

Fan art

Classic art

anything that looks nice

Art History

Ancient Greece (+ the Roman Empire)

Greek mythology

Myths in general

Halloween

Over the Garden Wall

Bee and puppycat

Gravity falls

Adventure time

The Arcana (Julian Devorak<3)

Sally Face

Fran Bow

Undertale

Minecraft

Sims (occasionally)

Music (not even going to try and be specific, ask if you want to know lol)

And a lot more probably

I'm up for talking about any of the listed things, so if you happen to stumble into this: Hi! I'm Geo :]

Edit: thats a lot more people than i expected holy, I'll try and follow everyone in the comments/dms, but sorry if I miss any

(if you dont feel like saying anything you can also like the post and follow and I'll add you back no pressure<3)

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hopeinthebox · 2 months

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tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:

tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH

#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist #but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time #Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall #End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF #Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands #especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter #so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good #This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth #Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album #Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will #Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently #because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me #shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her #(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool #so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen #tag #receiptify

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amoneki-ramblings · 4 months

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do you think Kaneki might ever pray with Amon despite not being catholic himself? just sitting next to him mumbling the words as Amon says it because he likes to be with him

speaking of religion, what kind of faith do you think Kaneki would follow? I hc him as an atheist :) but I think you know more about religions than me lol

Ooooh I like that idea a lot actually I have So Many Thoughts (rubs my hands together evilly)

also this is just a sidenote but i know some people may be uncomfortable with religious discussion, so if you are lmk and i'll start tagging it :thumbsup:

I feel like Amon hasn't prayed often in a while because of his past, but he may still on occasion (habit), and may get back into it properly after actually resolving his feelings with the past. At some point Kaneki starts to join him. He doesn't really know How to pray, especially since a lot of it is in silence, he probably just kneels there and silently wishes for safety for his friends, for strength and resolve, etc. etc. But when Amon starts saying the actual prayers out loud he just sits there and listens to him quietly saying them.

At some point Kaneki might start mumbling along with them, he vaguely knows some of the prayers and has heard Amon say them enough times to kind of know them. Amon is surprised when Kaneki starts doing that and it just kind of becomes a Thing; maybe Kaneki even asks Amon to tell him how to pray the rosary since he sees him doing that often as well (when the rosary is prayed in a group there's one person leading that says the first half of most of the prayers and the rest say the other half, and I think it would be interesting with them alternating like that)

While Kaneki isn't catholic himself he finds it reassuring, while it's unlikely to him that there's someone out there that'll actually grant his prayers it's a nice thought, y'know? It's also just very relaxing there, even if it was kind of awkward at first

I think he also finds the sound of Amon praying very relaxing *cough*

I also think Kaneki would be atheist, while he wouldn't completely deny the possibility of there being a god of some sort he also isn't really a follower of any particular belief system (note: ive actually been informed that there is a better term for this, agnostic, which is essentially being neutral lol). I think Amon would know this, and therefore doesn't really know why Kaneki chooses to pray with him despite this, but he figures that Kaneki does have a lot of things he would want to pray for, things he would want to seek forgiveness for, too, and he appreciates that Kaneki is willing to spend time with him like this anyway.

#asks #shewhoeatssand #tokyo ghoul #tg #amoneki #amoneki ramblings #amon koutarou #kaneki ken #Ive never posted a single one of my amoneki fics cuz they're all. incomplete but GOD do i love implementing bible references/verses in them #i end up with like paragraphs of notes listing them in detail because i am. pretentious #i one time looked at a bible verse and thought 'holy shit that's so Amon' and went on a whole mental rant about why it just fits him so Wel #i think i'm normal about this :) (<- not norma #GH. ALSO. EMPTY PRAYER BY NULUT AND 'THERE MUST BE NO MEANING TO MY LIFE' BY TATSUYA KITANI ARE SUCH AMON SONGS #the latter especially the feeling of being abandoned by god and questioning why you're still alive because. trauma. hrngh.#i should go into an unhinged rant about amoneki and lower ones eyes someday the song is speculated to be based off of a work by dazai osamu #about judas n jesus. so it gets my Bias Bonus but also the song is so amoneki. empty prayer is too they're very amoneki for the same reason #i just scrolled up and realized i'm leaving half the post in the tags i'm so embarrassed #I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN'T WRITE A SUPER LONG RESPONSE AND UMM OOPS #OH YEA UNRELATED BUT ALSO !! you said you wanted to hear my analysis about amon/kaneki's childhood traumas and their parents n stuff #I'll get to it soon ! i am still compiling my thoughts but i am Cooking i swear #thank you for the ask !!

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mikimeiko · 6 months

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Catherine Called Birdy (Lena Dunham, 2022)

#catherine called birdy #a DELIGHTFUL surprise #i loved the book as a child #and i've had this on my list since it came out #but i was very skeptical #i have no idea if it is a good adaptation because it's been so long since i've read the book #but it's a lovely film #with an amazing cast #also holy shit andrew scott it's been a while since i saw him in anything and i forgot #his power #wow #films i watched in 2023 #i made this #i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world

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on-wednesdays-we-eat-the-rich · 1 month

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Here's a list of my favourite autistic-coded characters (there are a lot of them. buckle up) except I don't explain any of them, and if you want me to go into detail about someone then ask me and I'll comply! Please ask me I want to infodump about them.

(None of these characters are canonically autistic, just coded. Before people yell at me in the notes.)

Frodo Baggins

Sam Gamgee

Bilbo Baggins

Pippi Longstocking

Greg from Over the Garden Wall

The Captain

Mary Guppy

Robin the caveman

Kitty Higham

Thomas Thorne

Dirk Gently

Farah Black

Bart Curlish

Molly from Lumberjanes

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loppiopio · 6 months

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i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

#durarara #i said a thing #if you've kudo'd aci within the past year and you think i'd recognise your name there's a good chance you're in this #this post is adhd as fuck holy shit #well #if anyone has read a single entire paragraph of it thanks :)#too much time spent writing something no one will read?? but idk someone might??? ughhhh #i will maybe go back through to hyperlink more of the artists and writers i mention here #idk #we'll see haha i'm huuuuungry i need to eat something #if you enjoyed reading any of this i'd appreciate letting me know because i did spend way too long writing it for real 😭#but it's fine what's done is done #getting it out noooooooow #nevermind i spent another half hour formatting the images #i needsta to get diahnosed #i had the briefest mention of actual twitter user miiyankhr in between stupidusernamepolicy and notelectrict #just acknowledging that i saw their actual name in the list #but i cut it because it was literally a sentence or something and this post is already ridiculously bloated #gonna eat now bye please post don't fucking breaaaaak i will die

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nerdgirlnarrates · 2 months

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Found out I matched on Monday (🥳), but now waiting till Friday to find out where is KILLING me. The match has felt like this distant, looming horror for so long, and it's finally become real, and it's actually happy, and now I'm desperate to know where I'm going.

#I absolutely understand why we have to wait so I'm not actually advocating for them to change it #but I'm so eager now to find out where I matched #it just felt so far away for so long #but I for sure am going somewhere on my list!#like holy shit I'm actually gonna be an internist!#I'm starting relatively soon!#the next chapter of my life is going to take shape in a real and concrete way!#and I can start making plans around it!#and by plans I of course mean getting on zillow #anyway this is the most excitement I've ever felt about the match #I won't announce exactly where I'm going #far too doxxable #but I might include the region #maybe not though #I'm realizing that having talked about my undergrad and current med school state on here narrows down who I am quite a bit actually #so I might not share the region just for an additional layer of anonymity #medicine #medblr #med school #med student #my content #my text posts

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boxwinebaddie · 2 months

Note

wait nina why did jersey go to juvy again?

saaaaaur...okay.

it pains me to say this because jersey is my angel and under all the aggression and hard lines, he is smooth and soft as anything but...

jersey was a bad kid.

and i mean a REALLY Bad kid.

like just to make a crucial distinction between pep!kyle and rm!jersey:

( which, yes, i do realize that it's insane that they are the same character but are written so drastically different by me across both my fics, but i think it really goes to show just how much your environment & your circumstances effect the person you become. )

peppermint kyle was very neat tiny handwriting, color-coded notebooks, sweater-vests, squeaky clean record, honor roll, took his job as hall monitor extremely seriously, preppy, quiet and calculated, was an 'um, actually' kid, teacher's pet, valedictorian, textbook 'good'.

rem(ember) kyle?

naaaaaaught so much.

on the subject of juvie/kyle's infractions with the law ( yes, i do think that it's extremely ironic that he is a lawyer given that is constantly disrespectful to authority figures/doesn't respect them whatsoever )

for context: it was the summer immediately following stan's death, kyle had just turned thirteen and the broflovski's had spent a very long vacation somewhere far off, maybe a tropical island, bc they wanted kyle to have a very relaxing/rehabilitating experience after being legitmately traumatized by the death of his super best friend slash love of his life...he was not relaxed at all, btw. and he saw stan in every fucking coconut and palm tree, the ocean was too blue, etc.

but when they got back in to start the school year up, kyle noticed that...there were people in stan's old house, aka the house next door that stan and the marshes had lived in before moving to tegridy...

and kyle...BROKE.

he had a full on Psychotic Break, like a massive pstd episode because

Someone Was In Stan's Room.

someone who was Not stan was in HIS STAN'S ROOM.

so literally with his pupils so dilated with rage that they were pitch black, not even a silver of the beautiful vermilion green stan loved so much, he climbed out his window, no shoes on, no nothing, like in his fucking terrance and phillip pajamas and then proceeded to climb the garden trellis he used to use to get up into stan's room and when the latch on the window wouldn't open he pUNCHED A FUCKING HOLE THROUGHT THE WINDOW AND SHATTERED IT before stepping through it. and his entire hand was fucked up, like blood running everywhere, but kyle didn't care about all he cared about was getting answers and he didn't care what he had to do to get them.

so what he did was grab a GIANT JAGGED SHARD OF GLASS off the floor, hold it over some poor little seven year's olds throat who, mind you, had just moved in next door!!! also he was SEVEN??? and kyle was just like "who the fuck are you??? who The FUCK ARE YOU??? WHY ARE YOU IN STANS ROOM??? WHERE IS STANS STUFF??? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH STANS STUFF!!!!! HUH!!!!!"

and this kid is SCREAMING, like he is Screaming and Crying bc he's so scared, there's blood all over him ( not bc he got hurt, other than psychoogical damage that child was unharmed ) kyle's blood from his busted fucking hand that is basically a wound at this point, so the kid is just crying for his parents, telling kyle he doesn't know what he's talking about, and kyle is about to slit his throat like GUT HIM like a fish, i'm not even joking he was...Seriously Unwell.

and ofc, his parents got there, saw what happened, called 911, called sheila and gerald and it was just this really, reeeallly brutal, gnarly scene of a ton of police officers holding kyle back, they had to like sedate him to get him into the ambulance all the while kyle is just looking at sheila, who isn't even mad at him she's just so worried about him ( ft. gerald being like 'oh my god, i can't believe he would do something so stupid! the whole town is gonna talk about it! what are the guys at the firm going to think of this! i'm ruined! ) and kyle is just hyserically sobbing like "ma—mA, did you see? did you see they got rid of stan's stuff???? where's stan's STUFF, ma? THEY TOOK HIS STUFF, MA!!! STAN'S STUFF, IT'S ALL GONE, IT'S ALL—"

...and the sedative kicks in, kyle's eyes roll back, he's limp and they put him into the ambulence. sheila is besides herself, she's trying to talk to the other family who is FREAKING OUT ( she also didn't have the heart to tell kyle there was no 'stan stuff' all of the stan stuff that wasn't given to kyle in a little shoebox like a fucking cardboard casket was all that was left of stan...everything else was lost in the fire ) ike is dead silent, wordlessly crying, clinging to sheila's legs wearing kyle's ushanka, completely traumatized by that...gerald is making business calls and being the worst fucking father of the year....UUUUUUUGH.

but even That did not put kyle in juvie.

oh no, my friends.

that put kyle in the south park mental house...where he was an ABSOLUTE FUCKING MENACE EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY and was there for about a year? i think? before they spit him out, like, they probably should have kept him in there longer, but he was actually so vile and wicked and insane that he scared all the hospital staff within inches of their lives, constantly caused a ruckus, tried to escape like every other day, bit lots of people. they wanted him gone.

speaking of gone, after kyle's stint in the looney bin, the broflovski's moved back to new jersey where sheila's side of the family lives just because kyle was waaaaay too unstable to keep living in south park. also, fun fact, kyle threatened to kill cartman so many times that he had to get a Restraining Order out against kyle and tbh, he Would have beaten cartman within an inch of his life or to death after stan disappeared on the night of the sadie hawkin's dance BUT...

shelley did it for him.

right before she died.

( go shelley, i love you miche <3 )

but back to kyle...or as i, and the entire state of nj like to call him,

jew jersey, better known as kyley b.

who was a fucking TEMPEST.

i mean the mean streets of new jersey cowered and fear when kyley b was on the sidewalk, ppl cried just lookin at him, he was That Bitch.

like, pep!kyle was pocket protectors and tube socks and sweaters.

jew jersey kyley b was ginger hair slicked back with gel, busted lip, knuckles cracked, white tank top, star of david chain, baggy jeans, sweatpants, mean mugging, flipping you the bird; A DELINQUENT.

which is naaaught, again, to say that kyle wasn't a good student. kyle was a Great student. kyle was the best student at south park elem/mid and across all six schools he attended in new jersey. easy.

but...he attended six schools, my friends. or, offended, rather, six schools. so it didn't matter that he was a fucking genius, ten times smarter than all the kids and in his teens already smarter than all the adults too, he was waaay too much of a liability and always fighting, brawling, starting shit, causing a huge scene.

on that note and to answer a different ask message inside this one, i got asked by some lovely anon a while back about why kyle didn't get get into any of the ivies he applied for even though he's a genius...

it's because while he got straight as, he was as crooked as they came.

my boys rap sheet was a miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile long.

and mind you, this is pre!ed kyle, like he was a big boy and he was SLAMMIN people into the sides of building, grinding them into the ground, if stupid gangbanger dudes tried to pick a fight with him, they'd be picking their teeth out of the pavement. he was BRUTAL.

pep!kyle wanted teachers to like him and was a brown-noser, but if a teacher asked jers 'i'm sorry kyle, do you want to teach the class?' bc he was either talking or looking bored, he'd be like 'thought you'd neva ask.' <3 and start LITERALLY TEACHING??? like the work he turned in was beautiful but that boy was a bomb, i think he threw a DESK??? AT A TEACHER ONCE???? like if you try and wave the yard stick at him he will snap it in half n brandish the wood shards at you.

THAT BITCH IS CRAZY AND HE IS MY BABY!!!!!

as far as what Finally sent kyle to juvie...i can't say, i don't know.

i didn't have that planned out, what i will say, though, is that kyle practically LIVED in the new jersey police station/correctional office showing up every day w/ bruised knuckles and a busted ass nose like Sigh...What Was It This Time, Broflovski? ( totally done w/ his shit )

and kyle's like *cracks knuckles, puts feet up on desk*

'some idiot called me gay earlier, so naturally i figured he was comin' awn to me. cute huh? so i decided we should jus' skip the first date dinna or whateva and get riiiight to the good part. so i stuck my foot so far up that cocksuckas ayss that it came straight out his mouth. speakin'a straight, pretty ironic cwalin a yourself straight and then takin' it from another guy, don'tcha think? but yaknow, i tried not to clown him for cryin' too much; coming out is a very emotional thing. i'm a sensitive type, you know that officer. and if i'd'a known it was his first time...i woulda been a little gentla' takin his viriginity. mazel. <3"

he's so fucking funny, i am obsessed w/ jersey. the police officers, however, did not share my sentiment. i swear the second they hear kyle come through those door they're all like "aaaaaaah for Fucks sake. alright, who wants to deal with broflovski today?" and one of the officers is like "don't look at me, i did that last week, i got the kids tonight" and reluctantly the last guy looks around and is like "fuck me, i guess I'LL do it, but you fuckers are paying for all my drinks."

and trust me, you will need a drink! a stiff one! kyle is Very Fucking Mean like!!! we read what he just did to that guys ass w/ his foot!!!

but whatever got kyle sent to juvie had to be like...one hundred times worse than that...i gotta let that cook a little but it was probably REALLY BAD ( i think it was in sheila's honor tho! he is my bad boy w/ a good heart, y'know ) and it was gnaaaaaaaarly. i'm talking like kyle beating someone bloody, broken bones, facial reconstruction, probably mild grand theft auto, punching multiple cops in the face, resisting arrest...a MESS all while screaming and cussing at the top of his lungs via the new jersey slaughterhouse accent which...

i feel like that entire event was horrifying...but if stan was there...i'm so sorry he would be like sheeesh oh my god diooooos mio is it hot in here HSJSKAKA HEEEELP

SPEAKING OF KYLE AND BOY JAIL AND STAN!!!!!!! someone Also once asked me about stan's forbidden internet digging on kyle, if he found out he was in juvie and...he Did...but a lot goes into it.

so basically, in the state of colorado, the psych records of minors are public property, so when stan was being a nosy, nosy little boy and missed his best friend, he found out via google search that 13 year old kyle had been admitted to the south park mental house for about a year. and the trail went dark after that....UNTIL...stan was about sixteen and this viral news article was going around about this deranged humongous teenage boy in new jersey doing bat shit insane shit, running from the cops fighting cops...and they didn't say the kids name but they did say that when kyle punched like all 32 teeth out of some guys mouth he said...

"smile, pendejo"

aND STAN WAS IMMEDIATELY LIKE OH MY GOD ITS MY HUSBAND!!!! but you know...had to act cool...you know...can't let dad and kenny know that you know the love of your life resurfaced...fml. LITERALLY STAN IS STANBANNED FROM GOOGLING KYLE!!! A MENACE, BUT STAN MARSH IS A ONE MAN MAN!!! HE IS WED!

okay, moving on, so there were no pictures of kyle in that article and it didn't say his name but it did say that the troubled teen was sent to juvenile hall. BUT THERE A LOT OF THOSE FML and also new jersey minor records are sealed so.....oh my god....i have Second Hand Embarrassment from stan doing literally the most here.

i don't even Care that jersey almost killed multiple people, ravenstan STOLE KENNYS DRUG DEALER BURNER PHONE, and called every single fucking juvenille detention center in new jersey doing THE WORST!!!! THE WOOOOOOORST SHEILA IMPRESSION EVAAAA! trying to get to kyle. btw, a lot of them were dead ends, obviously were like nice try kid, 'we can't release that info' and he was about to give up...then the Very Last Number he dialed was this absolute shit hole of a juvenile detention center that happened to have kyle...and i just Know kyle was wearing that place down, so when stan asked they were like Oh GOD, Are You Sure? STEVE, LOOK!!! SOMEONE ACTUALLY WANTS TO SPEAK TO THE BEAST. I KNOW! I CANT BELIEVE IT NEITHA! BROFLOVSKI GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!!

not stan like literally heart beating one million miles per hour, twirling his hair around his finger, eyes sparkling....and kyles just like WHO THE FAWK ARE YOU?! and stans just like, time stops for a second, bc his brain is doing his lovely synesthesia boy thing where all his senses and synapses are lining up, its the most beautiful sound in the world, everything is singing and it's like...at long last...My Kyle. <3

bUT THEN ITS LIKE AAAAAH FUCK OH MY GOD SHIT SHIT SHIT I CALLED MY SUPER BEST FRIEND WHO THINKS IM DEAD OH GOD FUCK I DIDNT THINK THIS FAR ALONG so he is just Frozen??? hsakds like literally just breathing hard on the other end while scary ass juvie new jersey kyle is verbally eviscerating the FUCK out of him like "I ONLY GET TEN MINUTES OF PHONE TIME A DAY AYSHOLE!! WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE JUST WAIT, BITCH!!! I’LL K.I.L.L. YOU!!!”

and stan is NERVOUS!!!! naturally like both bc he's like u are the love of my life and i miss you and i don't know what to do bc i'm a stupid teenage boy who wanted to hear ur voice...but also i am kind of scared of you...but also hi please kiss me ;) omg jfc...stan go to THERAPY!

so he just LAUGHS!!! like just a little under his breath bc he’s super anxious and flustered...and you know, it's not a cute sound, its clunky and nasally and weird and

...It’s STAN.

but before kyle can say anything, stan hangs up in a Panic becuase chef comes upstairs and ooooooough my god....stan gets in SO much trouble, it's so bad. like he is like on lockdown for doing that. which, i know sounds extreme, BUT STAN IS DEAD!!! STAN ALSO TECHNICALLY KILLED SOMEONE, COMMITTED ARSON AND IDENTITY FRAUD!!! i would say being grounded for a while is very tame…smh, i’m just—baby, what the fuck did you think was going to happen???

back to kyle though, who is LOSING IT because he was like that was stan’s voice THAT. WAS. MY. STAN!!! but that number was untraceable, the correctional officers were like they called you, you should know who they are and he was like yEAH IK THAT WAS STAN!!! and theyre like oh boy here we go like no, kyle…that was not you Dead Best Friend calling you…hands and multiple heavy objects were thrown…you know the drill…and kyle spent a night in solitary dreamin abt stan & his stupid laugh.

btw, in therapy they told him that was just a hallucination or that he wanted to hear stans voices so bad he Made It Up so that’s…fun!!! everyone keep telling kyle he’s crazy when he’s right!!! makes so much sense!

but yeah, kyle was in juvie for about a year and then his senior year of high school he did in person…btw while he was in juvie, he was running that whole place like the goddamn Navy, like, holy shit, kyle was the lawyer ceo king of juvie. ALSO!!! again, please note most of the kyley b pinterest pictures mostly just hair and outfit/vibe references, kyle’s ed did not manifest until the summer after season year when he got rejected from all his ivies/waitlisted for columbia because he thought that because he didn’t look or talk the way sophisticated people do, and wasn’t super mode skinny or flawless, that he would never make it anywhere in the world and he was like fuck you all, i’m gonna play your game…and i’m gonna win.

tldr; regardless of how much jersey weighed at any given time….Not Only Was Jersey Fione…He Was Also Ripped.

;))))

I SAID WHAT I SAID!!! like kyle was out here in the streets every day fighting, threatening to shiv people in juvenile hall, cracking aholes in the cafeteria with the lunch trays & going to solitary, my man is HARD LINED!!!

i feel like bc of his hauntingly beautiful, elegant refined dark academia aesthetic and the ed kyle seems waiflike and brittle but iiiiii beg to differ i think jersey kyle is crazy dummy Stupid SWOLE!!! like he goes to take off his sweater and his teeshirt gets caught and everyone’s jaw is on the floor like HEEEEELLLOOOO NEW JERSEY!!

i must say that unfortunately a large part of kyle’s ed is him staying in shape, he does really long runs Every Single Morning Without Fail and when he’s not studying or working or in class he is at the gym, so even though his body is literally killing over from exhaustion, whatever meager or barely there strength he has left is put into punishing himself for putting creamer in his coffee…sigh.

BUT ANYWAYS!!! SWOLE SCARY SEXY JERSEY KYLE!

-uncle nina, standing w/ her cancelled, problematic son

#gahd twalken about crazy ass scary ass fine ass jerseykyle is my favorite subject #like ik he’s an academic but that does not mean he’s not a menace #it’s also so insane bc they do not look like the same person #like if u saw massive stacked gelled back hair white tank top chain baggy pants bruised knuckles kyley b #and wafer thin evil classics professor elegant austere long hair jersey w the glasses chain #u would be really fucking confused #but then he would start talking and ud be like Ah #Yeah That’s Him #WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT STAN DID HOLY SHIT #im gonna need that tv montage of stan with a gigantic list of juvenile detention centers #crossing them off one by one doing bad jersey accents #screaming into his pillow #like three crushed cans of mango tango monster energy #wearing the kyle cure teeshirt #ALSO GOD HES SO STUPID I LOVE HIM BUT LIKE BABY #U CANT JUST CALL UR BEST FRIEND WHEN UR DEAD WITH NO BACK UP PLAN LIKE HOLY SHIT #not kyle being literally homicidal and hearing one off key note of stan’s laugh and immediately being like *soft boy vc* stan?#IM IN PAIN DONT LOOK AT ME #WILD #but yeah ask me about scary jersey all the time #HES SO FUNNY N CUNTY ALSO I LUV HIM CHEERS MAZEL #ALSO IM SORRY BUT HE IS 100% RIPPED LIKE HE HAD A LIFE TIME #OF BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF PEOPLE #AND HE WORKS OUT CONSTANTLY BC HES MENTALLY ILL #he is a baddie in every sense of the word im afraid #not kylee verbally evisecerating stan on the phone and him being like this is kind of hot #GO TO JAIL LIKE COME ON #i know he had dreams abt that #sixteen year old stan go to juvie challenge u know what he was grounded but he had…a lot to do #lots of…source material…ANYWAYS THERE U GO BABY! HOPE THAT ANSWERED UR Q

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unknownarmageddon · 4 months

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Whattabout

Blackcoffee for the bingo?

#i just think they’re neat cackles #there’s definitely angst potential there but i think mostly they’d just be really soft. long term hurt comfort mayhaps #answering asks #justanidiotartist asks #jaa!!#blackcoffee is such a good ship name actually holy shit #they’re not like. very high up in my list of favorite ships but i do like them #ask game

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thechaoticfanartist · 5 months

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"You're not the one in control here anymore, Your Highness. This isn't your trap: It's mine."

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @shinhatigf @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus @dykerebel @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet @doodlebugs-and-doodleart

#grim kennet #star wars #my oc #star wars oc #jedi oc #my art #fanart #star wars art #sw art #alatl art #i can't get this line out of my head now #like holy shit grim #this is now my favorite dialogue from her #this has definitely made the list of dialogue I've written that I'll be thinking about constantly for years #get his ass grim #fic: as long as there's light

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cruilty-ink · 4 months

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I did it.

…..

after half a year….

I did it… I finished the show….

GUYS I FINISHED THE SHOW!!!

the sense of relief, and accomplishment

I’m so happy !

#Tmnt 1987 #the turtle project #HOLY SHIT #I CANT BELIVE I FINISHED IT #ITS BEEN SO LONG #OMG #AHHHHHH #I can finally cross this off the list

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carpetbug · 1 month

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tell me ab your bug and cat playlist!!!! (this is my main I’m zodoods dhsjvdsjj)

HI ZO 💕!! THANK U FOR INDULGING MY SILLY LITTLE SONG LISTS! i’ll give you a song or two from a couple <3

Chat Noir

Break (Alex G) - oh my god it just screams his sacrificial tendencies paired with his love for ladybug. obsessed with this song for him. I also see these sort of reflections? of other sides of him in this song? “I could disappear, if this is what makes you feel so real” cat walker out the fucking wazoo hello! “In my head I see bright lights… I think I’m feeling it now just like you did” “And I’ll break for you baby cause you make it feel so good” CHAT BLANC HELLOOOOOO!! anyways i’m super normal about this song and totally don’t have any plans to animate anything to this 👁️

Ladybug

happy news for sadness (Car Seat Headrest) - i see this song fitting both LB and mari! the obvious line being “You can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it” relating to how deeply she values honesty and truth, but ends up having to lie and hide things from almost all the people in her life. “Everytime I think about love, I think about me thinking about you … Everytime I think about love, I think about you thinking about me” sorry this is just so fucking ladynoir? thinking about you as in thinking about adrien, this boy i’ve devoted myself to loving, but when i think about love I also think about you, chat noir, thinking about me, ladybug, the girl you’re so openly in love with. how can those both be love when they’re so different? how can they both be the truth? are they even?

Marinette

Gambling Addiction (Leanna Firestone) - i’m so insane bonkers crazy for this song ITS SO GOOD GO LISTEN TO ALL OF LEANNAS MUSIC anyways. how marinette falls quite literally head over heels when she’s in love! but she ultimately feels like she’s always playing a losing game! I also love the whole concept of marinette being both luck as ladybug and unlucky as herself with always saying the wrong thing, falling over, etc. “I wanna be pulling lucky numbers and praying to lucky stars, finding four leaf clovers and counting all my cards but i’m walking under ladders, seeing black cats, spilling table salt, and stepping on every crack” “so i’m crossing all my fingers, i’m pressing all my luck cause I know misfortune just won’t be enough to keep me from betting it all on love again”

Adrien

TV (Alex G) - adrien’s relationship with his parents! especially with emelie just sort of being gone? and he never gets to have that closure? ESPECIALLY WITH HER BEING AN ACTRESS?? AND GABRIEL NOT LETTING ADRIEN WATCH HER ROLES?? “I get feelings from the TV, they can’t hurt me, they don’t know me” “He gets lonely, he forgets me and he bought us a TV cause you don’t come around anymore” IDK GUYS I CANT PUT IT INTO FUNCTIONAL WORDS BUT DO U SEE THE VISION??

Chat Blanc

The Wolf (Fever Ray) - i love this song for chat blanc so much! (here is a drawing i did with lyrics from it!) I just am so obsessed with the vibe and tone, how deep and echoey it is, but with the intermittent hollers! it gives a very specific feeling, I love it. “And it’s poison in his blood. Big fire, big burn, into the ashes and no return” just like a perfect reference to everyone being turned into literal ash! it works so well with the chaotic, destructive nature of blanc.

Shadybug

DICTATOR (REI AMI) - i think the general vibe of the song is so fitting for her! especially the really direct transition to a much softer and emotional tune/lyrics! RAAAA it’s just so telling of how she makes shadybug into this terrifying powerful figure that can and will hurt anyone in her way when she’s just marinette, this lonely teenager with one too many problems and a shitty/dangerous coping mechanism! “I am not your queen, i’m your dictator. bend the fucking knee, yeah bitch, that was an order! what you say to me, huh? bitch speak louder! you know i reign supreme” it’s just screams shadybug to me. also hehehehe reign supreme get it

Adrinette

Romeo & Juliet (Peter McPoland) - okay imma be so fr this one makes me feel a little too silly in the heart so i unfortunately do not have the words to explain but please imagine and chew on these lyrics “I’d say “oh I love you” to my Juliet, if you only knew, i’d kill for you, i am for you, i am just who you need me to be” “i hope you mean it when you say that I am yours and you are mine”

I Love You Too (Peter McPoland) - i’m a sucker for this man’s music he makes some bangers but yeah this song it just screams adrinette to me. especially post season five, seeing them get to explore starting a relationship together and navigate their own love!! also just really shows how devoted adrien is to loving marinette, how he holds her to no expectations, values her comfort and happiness above all else during their interactions LIKE GOD HE LOVES HER SO MUCH HES WILLING TO SIT AND WAIT AND LOVE HER IN SILENCE UNTIL SHES READY FOR IT TO BE AS LOUD AS IT FEELS!! IDK!! “i love you too, too much to say” “i love your hands held close to mine, the way that our fingers all intertwine”

Ladynoir

Best Song Ever (One Direction) - guys. do i even have to explain. it is so chat flirting with ladybug. it is so entirely season one ladynoir. “maybe it’s the way she walked straight into my heart and stole it” “I said “can i take you home with me?” she said “never in your wildest dreams””

Shameless (Camila Cabello) - some fun ladynoir reveal brain food! lb getting fed up with identities clogging her emotions and deciding to throw it aside and let chat make the decision himself “it’s been a secret for the longest time” “now that you have me, do you want me still?”

Marichat

HandClap (Fitz and The Tantrums) - ok it’s honestly just the part “Every night when the stars come out, am I the only living soul around? Need to believe you could hold me down cause I’m in need of something good right now” BUT HEAR ME OUT!! Marinette and Chat seeking each other out when they need comfort, someone to vent to. Finding each other, making this connection and this safe space with so much warmth and care between them that it grows from just mutual support to adoration. I need something good right now, I need you.

Vampire Empire (Big Thief) - tbh i’m not like 100% sure what about this song is so entirely marichat to me but. it is. More angsty, it makes me think of marinette and chat trying to foster a romance between them but it just tasting… stale? like a dead plant drowning from being overwatered. “the milk has just expired, all the leaves are dead. I’m not quiet, you’ve been quiet, just receiving what you said.” They do want each other, and there’s such intense love between them, but it just always feels like they’re going about it the wrong way. “Where you can’t seem to hold me, can’t seem to let me go, so I can’t find surrender, and I can’t keep control”

Ladrien

Sports (Beach Bunny) - Ladybug getting to explore Adrien’s hobbies with him as they get close! spending her time with him, learning any new skill he’s willing to teach just to make him happy “if you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you! Tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?” but eventually kind of getting tired of playing these games around their feelings and just wanting to be with him outside of these activities “I’m tired of waiting, I was never good at sports. Save the games for the girls on the tennis courts”

We’ll Never Have Sex (Leith Ross) - THE SOFTNESS!! THE GENTLENESS!! THE CARE AND COMPASSION AND LOVE AND SIMPLICTY! “If I said you could never touch me, you’d come over and say I looked lovely” ITS JUST SO THEM!! Adrien respecting these boundaries, listening to his lady, caring for and loving her regardless of what form it comes in. “Oh you kissed me, just to kiss me, not to make me cry. It’s was simple, you are sweetness, let’s just sit a while”

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