#Hmmm brain dry need sleep

[kabra-malvada]

Animal Crossing AU name suggestions: Star Crossing, Celestial Crossing

i am very tired

Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Hmmm I think you got something going on here, I like it, i'll think it over :3

#Hmmm brain dry need sleep #ask kabra #animal crossing au #AC AU 🍃

[november-rayne]

Chapter Two: When Opportunity Knocks

A/N: The smut continues in this chapter. I know it seems gratuitous, but I promise there is a method to my madness. Hang in there for the plot.

Word count: 1600

Rating: Explicit for smut

Tags: Loki still being a man-slut, but peppering in some soft dom spanking and thigh riding

Chapter Index

*This story is for mature audiences only.* 18+ *Minors DNI*

“Excuse me, Your Highness?”

The short blond maid stood before the sleeping prince. Loki’s long, languid body was sprawled out on the sofa, one leg slung over the back of the couch, one arm hung off to the floor, and the other arm curled over the open book on his chest.

Even as his body was displayed awkwardly on the sofa, there was no denying the prince’s beauty. He looked as if master artisans had carved him from a block of marble.

The housemaid resisted the urge to touch his pretty face as he slept. She imagined tracing that perfectly straight nose, sharp cheekbones, and rugged jawline that led to his long, sensual neck.

While long and slim, his body was well-muscled and cut beneath his tunic. Her eyes stopped at his hips. She had heard many a salacious story of the second prince and his escapades with servants and nobles alike. His reputation as a voracious and insatiable lover was well known in the servant’s quarters.

Now she was close enough to touch him. She had not even realized her feet had brought her so close while she was in her reverie. Slowly, without deciding to, she reached out to feel the prince’s silky, raven hair as it fanned out across the cushion.

Just before she made contact, Loki opened his eyes, and the hand dangling off the couch was now wrapped tightly around her ankle.

“Your Highness!” she shrieked. She tried to step back but was held firmly in place by Loki’s powerful grip.

“Forgive me, please! I was just… I just… I …”  she could not force her brain to invent the words that would end her mortification.

He held his eyes on her, saying nothing, not releasing his grip.

“Your Highness,” she scrambled, “I have been sent to give you a letter from today’s post. It’s from the Queen.”

Stony silence.

She fumbled at the pockets of her pinafore and eventually pulled out the envelope. She cast her eyes down as she held it in her shaking hand.

Loki slowly released the hold on her ankle, taking the envelope. She sunk into a deep curtsey. She was about to apologize again but thought better of it, chastising herself for being so stupid and careless.

The prince sat up on the sofa but made no move to stand. He closed the book and set it and the envelope on the table beside him.

“Why are you trembling, girl? Wasn’t it me who was almost attacked in my sleep? Shouldn’t I be the one who is scared and in need of comfort?”  He looked up at the maid with mischief in his eyes.

“Your Highness, please forgive me. I do not know what came over me.”  She was sure her heart would pound right out of her chest.

“Hmmm…” the prince tapped one long finger against his chin. “What would be a proper punishment for such a scandalous show of impertinence?” He was enjoying watching the little thing squirm.

“I…I do not know, My Prince. Whatever you see fit, My Prince.”

“The punishment should fit the crime don't you think? Tell me, little mouse, what were you thinking of before you dared to reach for me? Was it malice? Or something else?”

“Something else, My Prince.”  Her voice caught in her throat. Her mouth was as dry as it had ever been. A deep blush reddened her face as she stared at her hands clenched tightly together in front of herself.

“Well? Don’t keep me waiting, girl.”

She shook her head. “My Prince, I… should not speak of such things in your presence. It is…not appropriate.”

“I will determine what is appropriate. Look at me.”  She raised her face and looked right into the prince’s piercing blue eyes. “I will know if you lie to me. Now tell me truly, what were you thinking about when you reached for me?”

“I was thinking about… what it would be like… I was thinking about… I was admiring…” She gulped, inhaled sharply, and spat the following sentence out in a rush. “I was thinking about your beauty and what it would be like to touch you and have you touch me back.”

“I see.”

He gave her a slow, sly smile. She rubbed her thighs together involuntarily as a tight pulling sensation started low in her belly. Loki was all too familiar with the needy look in the woman’s eyes. He had seen it hundreds of times before. “Do you still wish to touch your prince now that I’m awake? Or has your desire left you?”

“Sir, I… I shouldn’t… I do… desire you, that is.”  Her cheeks burned scarlet as she stared at her feet.

“Pull your panties off.”

“Your Highness?”

“Don’t make me tell you twice. I’m going to give you a spanking.”

“Yes, My Prince.”  Her hands shook as she reached under her skirts and pulled her panties down, stepping out of them, eyes glued to the floor.

“Come here, naughty girl.”  Loki put his hands around her waist and lowered her down to the couch so that she was straddling his thigh. Her naked sex pressed directly to the leather of his trousers. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. Without thinking, she ran her fingers through his hair.

He raised her skirts, exposing her bare ass. He leaned in so his mouth nearly touched her ear and lowered his voice, “You are a bad girl and you deserve to be punished. Don’t you agree?” She shivered as his voice sent a current of energy down her spine.

“Yes, My Prince.” He grabbed her hips with both hands and pulled her down on his thigh. Pleasure rocked through her body. “Yes, punish me.”

“You discourteous little toy, I did not hear you say please,” he growled close to her ear.

“Please, Your Highness, please punish me.” She rocked her hips forward, releasing a wave of pleasure.

Loki resisted the urge to laugh out loud. He loved this. He loved how he made people come undone, using his body, words, and voice. He loved how people looked at him like he held the only key to erotic mischief they would ever know.

“There is but one rule: do not scream,” he commanded. “Do not utter a sound unless it is my name. Do not utter a sound until I make you come. Do you understand me?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“You have to say it.”

“I understand.”

He raised his hand high and swiftly smacked her bare ass cheek.

The white-hot pain seared her skin, and she bucked to try to move away from the sting, causing her clit to rub against his thigh again. Pain and pleasure combined into one element. She had never felt anything like it before.

“Oh, my Gods…” she screamed.

“No! You insubordinate little…I ordered you not to scream out.” He brought his hand down again in the same spot. She bucked again; this time, she stifled her scream on his shoulder. “If you must bury your screams, bury them in my mouth, my little toy.” He slapped her ass again, claiming her mouth as she bucked and moaned. He struck his open palm down on her again and again.

“You are so close now, aren’t you, little mouse?”  She nodded breathlessly. “So close, but not quite there. I could stop now and send you back to work throbbing.”

She looked at him wide-eyed, stricken. She shook her head, “No, please, My Prince. Please, I’m begging.” She tried to shift herself on his leg, longing for release.

“No?” He drew lazy circles on her red, raised skin with his long finger.

“Please. I will do anything you desire.”  She hungrily kissed his neck and ran her hand down his chest to his crotch.

“Someone still hasn’t learned her lesson, I see.”  He snatched her hand away. “The very naughty mouse did not get my permission to touch!”  He delivered swat after swat to her ass. Her mouth crashed down on him as she bucked and moaned. Her orgasm erupted brutally, ripping from her, leaving a trail of sparks as it traveled through her.

“Loki! Oh Gods, yes!” she screamed.

He could not hold back his laugh this time. It had been less than five minutes since he woke to her fingers reaching for his hair. ‘This has got to be a new record.’  he thought, very pleased with himself.

He gave her a deep, hungry kiss. She let out a low moan, rocking gently on his leg. He slid his hands up her back and held her by her shoulders as he moved his mouth down her jaw to her neck. Her fingers were nimble in his hair. She was gently pulling and tugging at his silky mane.

“You did so well, pretty girl. Let us put those hands to better use elsewhere, shall we?” He pulled her leg over his body so she could straddle both his thighs.

“Yes, Your Highness.”  She made her way to the laces of his trousers, quickly freeing his fully erect cock from the constraints of the leather. She gave him a cursory glance. He nodded in permission and pulled his hands through his hair before lacing his fingers behind his head.

She gave the prince a few slow pumps down his shaft before using her thumb to rub little circles over the head. “Such capable hands.” He closed his eyes and let himself relax further back into the sofa. She grinned at him, taking pride in her work no matter what was asked of her.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Tag list: @gigglingtiggerv2 @superficialdomina @chantsdemarins

#a gift for loki #loki fanfic #sas stories #loki smut #loki x sigyn #loki laufeyson #loki #loki fanfiction #loki fandom #loki fa fic #agfl #loki smut and fluff

[sirenedoug]

OK. Long day at work. Week really, and it’s only Wednesday. Well, last 3 years have been terribly long if I’m being honest (teacher-Pandemic, which keeps punching down). Month has been illness-death-illness, sad story, yes? Just damn tired. Holidays…ugh, kind of dreading, certainly not feeling.

Make dinner. Ask youngest to put something light on to watch. Puts on “Paddington”. Oh, watched the old stop motion series on Nickelodeon when I was sick as a child. Was very comforting. So, yes please.

What am I doing? Seeing each actor, each scene, each prop connected to? OFMD. I’m so very broken.

What are the OFMD-Paddington connections? If you too are broken, join me in the spiral that is my fandom-wracked brain. This is neither clever nor enlightening in any way. It’s full brain rot. Full distraction from the craptastic events currently occurring in our interesting times.

Apologies in advance if you have read this far.

1. Marmalade. Orange imagery. Yup.

2. Paddington: Packs suitcase with marmalade rather than other traveling essentials. Fish out of water. Bumbling and cute. Always unwittingly causing problems. Wanting to be accepted, but still always himself. Initially rejected by his new crew, but eventually loved and accepted as family. Inner monologue: “I will never be like other people, but that’s alright”Hunted by creepy homicidal English. Stede much?

3. Grant-played by Kayvan Novak of What We Do in the Shadows…Taika Waititi connection. Love him. Now picturing him in S2 of OFMD…hmmm…I think I need to go back and watch some WWDITS

4. MARY Brown-played by Sally Hawkins. Yes, Mary. The Mary in Paddington is an artist, has 2 children (girl-older, boy-younger). And, Sally Hawkins played opposite Rhys Darby in Love Birds. Hey, watched that when I had COVID! That was a cute RomCom. Wait, does that make me have affection for my time having COVID?

6. Pigeons. Not exactly Karl caliber, but clever and slightly homicidal. More like Livy.

7. And winner for the biggest stretch is…Peter Capaldi who plays Mr. Curry. If you like OFMD as much as I do, you most likely are a Doctor Who fan and know ALL of Peter Capaldi’s connections to DW. You are as sick as me and I’m glad to know I am not alone.

My web of connections has runneth dry. And I really need to get some sleep tonight so I can face another day of work and make it to the weekend. Hope you all can too. We can do hard things.

#ofmd #our flag meets death #paddington #doctor who #wwdits #ofmd brainrot

[cheekygreenty]

A Little Death - The Darkling x Reader

Enemies-to-lovers, one bed trope AND smut. You’re welcome 🖤

The mission went terribly, just as you said it would. You were always known to voice your concerns during meetings and this one was no different but he hadn't bothered to take your criticism into account.

The big bad Darkling couldn't stand you for that very reason or so he told himself. You were loud, outspoken, rude, and a control freak. You clashed and fought but he kept you there for perspective reasons, even though he never listened to you, like ever.

You laughed when the mission turned sour, earning yourself a glare from everybody, including him. If it wasn't the hours of sleep you lost to carry out the stupid mission in the first place, you would be heading toward Os Alta by now, but no. Everyone was tired and hungry and practically begging for a proper bed and not a makeshift cot in a tent, you included.

Vacancy was lit, the guests were checking in

You waited as the colorful keftas dispersed into the inn and as you approached the innkeeper to grab your keys, he hesitated.

'Only one room left.' He looked afraid to say it, does he think I need more than one? The confused look on your face kept until you saw General Kirigan appear out of the corner of your eye, looking right at you with a displeased look.

'Will it fit two people?'

'Yes Sir'

'Alright then, Y/L/N you're with me.' He took the keys and gestured for you to walk through the archway but you couldn't believe your ears. This man was the General of the Second-Army, almost as rich as the King but he had to share a room, with me no less?! Of all the bloody people on this journey, it obviously has to be me.

You bit back the rude remark that sat at the tip of your tongue and gave a curt nod. It's just one night and I'm ready to pass out.

'After you General' You forced a smile and watched as his irritation grew. Although you hated the man, you had to admit he was incredibly handsome, you weren’t blind. His dark onyx eyes always stood out against the pale of his skin, and the perfectly quiffed jet-black hair practically begged to have your fingers running through it.

His cape whirled around him as he walked past you, breaking you out of your trance. You guessed he knew where he was going as he ascended the wooden stairs and climbed to the top. Out of boredom, you counted the room numbers you passed not paying attention to him and stopped when you walked right into his rock-solid back. 'Saints- I'm sorry.' You blundered. I think that's the first time I've ever said sorry to him. He ignored you and walked into the room, inspecting it closely. You did too, but were cut short when you noticed the absence of another bed.

The room was fit for two

'There's only one bed' You dead-panned. You thought for a moment, looking around for a couch, an armchair, anything, but came up empty-handed. 'This is just great.' You sighed and looked to him. He had shed his heavy cape and donned his black kefta, staring at the one bed the same way you did.

'Well? What are we going to do?' You threw your hands up in exasperation 'Perhaps they have a tub I can-'

'Don't be ridiculous Y/N.' Y/N? I think that's the first time he's called me by my name.

'I meant to go wash, General. It's been a long week.' As opposed to some of the others, including the General, you had stayed in a tent over the past 2 days to gather intel. He and his flock stayed in inns and hotels, bathing in luxury and warmth.

'Yes, of course.' He stared into your eyes, holding your gaze for a hot minute before you looked away, suddenly feeling shy.

You put the bed situation at the back of your mind as you fetched some warm water and washed the grime of failed missions off. So much wasted time, all because nobody would listen to you, he wouldn't listen to me. If he weren't so gorgeous, I would kill him in his sleep.

Once you felt clean enough and your hair began to dry, you walked out of the washroom, enveloped by a towel as you searched your pack for anything you could sleep in. Perhaps the bath fogged up your mind, for you completely forgot the General was sharing the small space with you.

'You know you talk to yourself?' His voice scared the living daylights out of you. He was sitting back lazily against the headboard of the bed in his shirt and breeches smirking to himself. 'I think conspiring my death is reason enough for prison, is it not?' You couldn't tell if he was joking.

'I never said I would.' You bit back, grasp tightening around the flimsy towel.

'Because I'm too gorgeous?' He stood up from the bed and walked over to you. You never registered how much taller he was than you as his eyes scanned you up and down, like a predator hunting its prey.

'I need to get dressed, General'

'Hmmm, yes I can tell.' He took a bit of hair that hung in front of your face and held it between his fingers, the action sending waves of arousal through you, What- No. He was dangerously close, you could feel his breath tickle your ear and he was bound to hear your pounding heartbeat. But alas he moved away, sashaying into the washroom leaving you alone. I need a cold bath.

***

You were dressed for bed now, curled up on the left side of the bed. You were trying to sleep, really trying, but knowing he was laying right next to you only heightened your insomnia.

You knew he was awake too and he did little to hide it amongst the deafening silence of the room. You could feel the heat coming from his body, radiating an invitation for you to join him. You huffed loudly and turned again for the umpteenth time that hour, attempting to escape the weird tension in the room.

'Can't sleep?'

'Obviously.' Even in the dark, you knew he was smirking.

'I know something that would help.' Suddenly he was on top of you, caging you in with a hand at the sides of your head. You could feel the bare skin of his arm and chest as he slightly pressed down onto you, signaling that he wasn't wearing the black silk shirt anymore. Wherever his skin brushed against yours, it ignited that longing and need in you and it felt addictive.

I want you to touch me

'What are you doing? I thought you hate me.' Your proximity allowed for you to see the slight glistening of his eyes. They had an edge to them, a darkness you'd never seen before or never paid attention to.

'You're one to speak.' Taking one hand from beside your head, he so very slowly traced the side of your face, and your breath caught in your throat as he continued his way down your neck and further, stopping at your thigh where your nightgown had bunched up. 'I think it's time we stop this charade of ours.' As you concentrated on the feel of his fingers against your burning skin, he moved his head into the crook of your neck, his breath hot and exhilarating as he spoke.

'What charade' Your words came out with a deep exhale in anticipation of his actions.

'The one where we both pretend we don't want to fuck each other's brains out.'

Your eyes flew open at his crude remark but shut right back again as his lips gently kissed your collarbone and made their way up to your jaw, getting increasingly rough as he traveled. His hand at your thigh sneaked its way under the gown and now gripped your bare hip in a tight hold. 'What do you say?' His lips were now at yours, touching them as he spoke. All your logic flew out the window of the dingy inn. You didn't care that this was your General, or that he could kill you in an instant, all that mattered was that you needed him, and he wanted you.

'Ye-'

Before you even finished, his lips were hot on yours, devouring you in a bruising kiss. He pressed into you harder and if you had any reservations about his feeling towards you, they were flushed away as he made his arousal for you obvious. It fueled you, awoke your need to control with a jolt.

You fought for dominance, letting your mouth duel for any scrap of authority you could have over the man, but he kept you wrapped around his finger, tightening his grasp on you while simultaneously letting your mind run free with thoughts of him and only him. He was dangerous; intimidating.

She sought death on a queen-sized bed.

He began to pull away but to your surprise he only hauled you up with him, taking your thighs and forcing you into a straddle around his lap, not once letting his lips leave your body.

'You do it on purpose, don't you? Vexing and riling me up in front of others-' He took hold of the nightgown and pulled it up over your head before roughly grabbing your chin and letting his lips brush against your now swollen ones '-I swore to myself if you did it again, I would've thought you a lesson right before their very eyes.'

The General was quick to pull you back into him, bare chests pressed together and heartbeats merging into one. Your hips moved on their own accord, slowly drawing circles around his bulge.

'General I didn't take you for a man that stalled.' You spoke against his lips. You were done with his words, you needed his actions.

I want you to touch me there

Make me feel like I am breathing

At that, his hand let go of its deathly grip on your waist and quickly went to your core. Letting a deep growl out at your dripping wetness, he plunged a finger deep into you as his palm stroked your clit at an excruciatingly painful pace, too slow for your liking. You couldn't help keep the whimper down and he had the audacity to chuckle at your neediness.

'And I didn't take you to be so impatient.' He nipped at your shoulder as he picked up his pace, earning a series of moans from you. It was like music to his ears.

With your head against his chest, you rode your wave of pleasure out with his fingers still inside you, milking your first orgasm of the night.

Almost immediately he had you under him again and before you could register with your eyes, you felt the head of his cock nudging at your sensitive bud, as if begging for entry. It sent shivers up your spine, seeing him there at your mercy. He ran across your wet folds again and a throaty moan echoed around the room. Are you sure he's at your mercy?

You coaxed him to enter and once he did you felt euphoria. He stretched you out to your limits, filled you until you bottomed out. His eyes were tightly shut as he basked in the comfort of you. It felt just as good to be buried in you as it did to kiss you. You enveloped his senses and his mind. You were the only thing that mattered to him at that very moment.

'Saints Y/N.' His forehead fell against yours as he thrust in and out of you, bearing his weight on the arm not holding your thigh up.

Despite the pleasure clouding your mind and vision, you managed to grab at his vulnerability and flip you both around. He didn't fight back, only grabbed hold of the back of your neck to kiss you deeply as you pounded down onto him. His hold on your hip was deadly, bound to bruise. He liked the thought of marking you as his.

You came with a strangled cry, the pulsing around his length sending him into a frenzy of his own as your name spilled out like a prayer from his lips. It took a while for you to catch your breath and return to your natural state. But it didn't last long before the events of the night were repeated and more marks were littered across your body.

It was only then that you fell asleep, thoroughly spent and exhausted, awaiting the next time you could defy him.

_______

Taglist (Tell me if you want to be added!!)

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl

#shadow and bone #the darkling #imagine #the darkling x reader #ben barnes #grisha #alexander #alexander morozova #fanfic #alina starkov #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #kefta #series #shadow summoner #black general #aleksander morozova x reader #little palace #one shot #keftas

[genshxn]

Teyvat Housing Crisis

isekai oneshots series - part 2 // follower milestone special

FUCK WE’RE NEARLY AT 900 - HOW?!

It was one hell of a night chatting to the absolute hottest people you’ve ever seen. You ended up being the subject of the night, quickly growing close to everyone who was at the tavern. Who would have known you got on with everyone so well?

However, once your 3AM brain finally hits, it’s pretty much over for you. Despite how lively the tavern is into the late hours of the night, you’re pretty much ready to just fall over and go to sleep. Except there’s the whole situation of where you’ll actually sleep. Your head is pretty much about to hit the bar when Diluc notices how zonked you looked.

"You alright there?" He asks with one eye brow arched, drying the inside of a mug.

"Tired." You say, face smushed against the table.

Diluc hums to himself. He can’t really do anything to help you with that unfortunately. But getting thrown into another world and immediately sitting in a tavern for hours would definitely be exhausting.

Albedo floats over to you, now noticing your tiredness as well. "What was it in your previous world?" He leans down a bit to be more level with you.

"3 in the morning or so," you slur in reply.

"Well that makes sense for why you’re so tired. We need to find you a place to stay." Albedo thinks to himself. Jean must have overheard him, because she chimes in as well.

"Maybe (Y/N) could stay at HQ? We have some sleeping quarters there. It should be fine if they stay for a couple days." Jean mentions. You don’t recall there ever being any sleeping quarters in the Knights of Favonius’s HQ, but then again, you couldn’t even get upstairs in the game...

"The conditions of those are probably garbage. If they want, they can stay at Dawn Winery. It’s nicer there." Diluc throws out, not looking away from his mug.

You lift your head with a confused expression. You didn’t think he’d suggest that.

"True, but I may need to monitor their condition just in case there’s any side effects of the summoning," Albedo replies.

"I got maids that could make sure they’re fine." Diluc says, moving onto another glass to clean, eyes unmoving from his work.

"They likely don’t know what to look for, though." Albedo states.

Are these two really arguing over where you should stay? At least as calm as arguing can be.

More people stride over to partake in the discussion. You don’t think you can deal with this right now. One, there’s a bunch of hot people debating over you. Two, you’re dead tired to the point where you really don’t want to listen to them. You love all these people, don’t get the wrong idea, you just barely have the energy for them right now.

"Perhaps they should come to Wangshu Inn? It is very comfortable, and an inn at that, so they would be able to stay there longer in the future without major repercussions." Zhongli suggests. You look over at Xiao who’s still on the second floor railing. He looks too awkward to say anything at the moment.

"Or maybe they could stay with me—," Childe started to flirt, but was immediately cut off by Xiao flinging another empty mug at his head.

"Don’t even finish that sentence, fatui." Xiao hisses. He’s really like a grouchy cat.

"Hmmm? (Y/N)’s gonna shtayyy with someone?" Venti wobbles over. He’s even more drunk, if possible. "How about they stay with me? We can cuddle all night long, ehe~," Venti then receives a swift shocking from Lisa.

"That’s enough out of you, drunk little bard," she shakes her head. Venti just lies on the floor, grumbling about being sore now. "I think staying at the HQ is the most sensible idea. And I’ll also be able to see the little cutie more often then," she coos. She’s no better than Venti, but she’s sober. Maybe she needs some form of bonking.

"Screw staying on land. Sleeping out on the water is the best way to go. The ocean rocks you right to sleep," Beidou joins in now.

"It may for some, but it reeks of fish and mildew out there." Ningguang replies. "Staying in Liyue would be much nicer. Besides, I could easily arrange a nice place for them to stay until they can get on their feet."

"Nooo, they should stay here in Mondstadt. It’s so much nicer because I’m here! You should stay with me, (Y/N)~," Kaeya drunkenly purrs. He is also promptly shocked by Lisa.

"Ganyu seems to have the right idea in just sleeping in the tavern," Jean sighs, looking over at the female adeptus in the corner, still asleep at one of the tables. God, you wish that was you.

"Okay, well, they’re clearly very tired right now. Wangshu, the ocean and Liyue are too far, so Mondstadt is the best option for now." Jean states. Jean is being a diplomatic goddess right now.

"Would it not be best to actually ask them, though?" Diluc says, putting down the cleaned mug.

"Good point." Albedo says.

"Hrnmmph, I’ll just stay at the HQ. It’s the closest place right now."

"Alright, it sounds like a plan. Come, I’ll take you to where your temporary room will be." Jean guides you. You get up from your seat at the tavern and wave goodbye to everyone else. Albedo follows closely behind you.

Through the winding stone staircases and paths of Mondstadt, you finally make it to the HQ. It’s really weird passing through the doors without a loading screen.

"Are the rooms upstairs?" You ask with a yawn.

"Yes," Jean replies.

This will be your first time actually going upstairs in the HQ. You always wondered what was up there, and now you’ll be sleeping there. What a strange turn of events everything has been. You’re shown into your room which is a quaint and simple room, not very big in size, but it as a lovely view overlooking the town. A small bed is lined up next to the wall on one side with a simple oak night stand next to it, and an empty dresser on the opposite side of the room, as well as a desk tucked away in the corner.

"You can sleep in this room. Apologies if it’s a little dusty. These rooms don’t always get used." Jean says, holding the door open. You make your way past her and sit down on the side of the bed. Albedo peaks out from over her shoulder. "If you ever need something, just come find me or any one of the knights." She says with a warm smile on her face.

"I may come in every now and then just to check on you. There may be some weird side effects because of the summoning that I may need to monitor. Please do not be alarmed if you see me in your room," Albedo shuffles around to actually see you.

You just nod your head and thank the both of them, ready to crash onto the bed and resume the sleep you were pulled out of so suddenly.

It seems you may truly be both blessed and cursed with these people seeming to adhere to your every move. Not even Mona could foretell what sort of crap is going to go down. Archons save you from these hot-ass people.

<- ep 1

ep 3 ->

#everyone simps y/n at this point #even diluc #isekai series #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin harem #it’s literally everyone x reader #albedo x reader #jean x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #venti x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #ganyu x reader #beidou x reader #ningguang x reader #lisa x reader

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

OBSESSIVE STOLAS x Male Imp pt.4

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

Stolas sat in the family limo, enjoying the smooth rumble of limos engine as he travelled home. Along the way, he felt... at peace.

As though, all the problems that plagued his mind before, had... evaporated.

Stolas ran a hand down his chest, his thighs grinding together as he thought about his time with you.

You were so gentle. So tender and elegant with him. As though he were some delicate piece of art.

But he knew the truth...

You handled him so delicately, because you wanted him to feel loved.

...Because you loved him.

The thought sending a whole new wave of warmth threw him.

So focused on the events that just transpired was he, he didn't even notice his arrival home.

He walked through the building blissfully unawares of all around him, almost in a drunken state.

Entering his chambers he found the bed made and empty.

Of course it was, Stella hadn't shared there bed since Blitzø fell into Stella's brunch.

He'd once found it all so charming. Blitzø's brash, rough and tumble attitude had once made him swoon.

But now when he thought about being with Blitzø, he just felt like an idiot for having thought there relationship was anything beyond a business transaction.

But now he had you. And you were all he needed now.

He fell onto his bed, not bothering with the covers. Content to just lay there and bask in the light you brought to his life.

But those tears he shed had took a toll on him, and as much as he wished to bask in this warmth he could feel sleep taking him and with one more happy thought of you, he allowed sleep take him.

He awoke early the morning, and despite being bathed in the light of Hell's crimson sun.

He felt cold.

As though all the warmth youd given him yesterday had simply vanished.

He sat up, sluggishily removing the covers went about preparing for his day of... nothing.

Stella hadn't allowed him anywhere near his usual meeting or appointments, not since- well you know what happened.

Perhaps he'd try and talk to his beloved Octavia. If she was feeling hospitable.

Hmmm. Perhaps not. He should probably just give her some space.

Besides he realised an even more important thing he could do with his morning.

Learning everything he could about You.

Turning over, he found his phone. Looking through his contacts.

He found your name, going into your contact he considered messaging you, but decided against it. He didn't want to bother you so early in the morning.

Instead he pulled up Voxtigram, his main form of communication, before typing in your name.

But he couldn't find you.

So he checked Blitzø's friend list, he eventually found you, it turns out you just had your name backwards, something that made him chuckle.

Seeing pictures of Blitzø sent pangs of sadness through his chest, but he soldiered on.

Scrolling through your pictures, he didn't find much.

Alot of them were just pictures of the places you'd been, or one of the weapons you used on the job.

He eventually did find some of you.

The first he found was you and the two other Imps that worked there, Millie and Moxxie he was pretty sure were there names.

The next was you on your first day at work.

It was a selfie of you in a group hug with Blitzø and the others.

You were all clearly being forced by Blitzø.

The awkward little smile you wore sent a wave of warmth through him.

Scrolling further down, he found more pictures of you. Most of them were just you relaxing at a variety of places, or after after getting a new outfit. Just general stuff about your life in hell.

Then he found one that made his heart skip a beat.

It was a picture of you. Wearing just a pair of shorts at the gym.

You were pulling a little pose, flexing your muscles in front of a mirror, a shy little blush across your cheeks.

Stolas' swallowed, his throat suddenly very dry.

He rubbed his thighs together as he fantasised about licking the sweat off your abs.

With a shake to his head, he decided now was a good time to get out of bed.

Leaving his phone as he went and took a nice long shower.

A nice long, cold shower.

Getting out, he chose a more casual outfit.

An old T-shirt and some jeans he reserved for comfy home clothes. He didn't have anywhere to be.

He made his way to the kitchen, where he found Octavia sitting at the table.

The more calculating part of his brain told him to just leave her alone, but he decided against it. He shouldn't hide from his daughter, she needed to know he was still there for her 'Hello darling, how did you sleep.' He asked pleasantly.

Octavia looked up at him, her eyes looking cold and annoyed. So, not all to different from her usual teenage gaze.

'I slept fine dad.' She sai, her voice dull and lifless, before looking back down at her phone.

Stolas swelled with joy.

His daughter was speaking to him again. Everything seemed seemed to be getting better for him.

Pouring himself a bowl of serial, he took a rather lecherous lstroll down memory lane, Thinking about his time with you.

He didn't know how long he'd been thinking about you, but he was quickly pulled out of it when he felt something hit him on the back.

The clanging of cutlery that followed soon after gave him a good idea of what it was.

Turning around he found a rather angry teenage owl glaring at him.

Before he could ask what was wrong. The owlet released a frustrated growl. 'Can you just not?' She asked rhetorically.

Running down her face she told him 'I have do deal with you and Mums B.S. all the time, can you just not fantasise about your fuckin Blitzy~ in front of me.'

She fell back into her seat with a huff.

Stolas was a little shocked. He hadn't thought his beloved daughter could be so course.

'I-I... I didn't realise I was being so bothersome.' He said, sounding perhaps a bit to wounded.

Octavia sighed, 'Can you just not in the kitchen. Where we eat, please?' She asked, going back to her breakfast.

Stolas sighed, picking up his now soggy bowl of serial. 'How long had I been in that state?' He asked himself.

'Five minutes' answered Octavia not looking up from her phone.

'Oh' he said to himself, taking the bowl he poured it into the trash. 'Well that's disgusting.'

He chuckled to himself. Looking over his shoulder he said 'Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to hear you won't be hearing much about Blitzø... ever again.' He told her being perhaps a little vitriolic.

Getting a cup from the cupboard, he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Walking over to Octavia he went to take a seat, but stopped upon seeing her distrustful gaze.

Taking a seat he sighed. 'Octavia, darling... I know these past few weeks haven't been easy on you. And I know much of that-" He had to stop as Octavia glared daggers at him. "...All of it, was my fault. But I promise, things will get better... for both of us.' He took her hand into his own. 'I promise.'

Octavia looked up at him, she looked so startled by his words.

It seemed like she was gonna say something, dew drops forming in the corners of her eyes.

He was about to say something when Octavia shot up and ran away.

Stolas sat there. For a long while. His conversation running over in his mind.

Taking a drink from his coffee he stood up, put his cup in the sink and left.

He found himself in his garden, perhaps the last place he still felt at home on the palace grounds.

Trying to calm himself down went about his usual grooming routine.

Trimming bushes, feeding his plants, pulling weeds and just general plant care.

And as much as his plants soothed his nerves,, he could feel his mood shifting.

The depression beganing to invade his thoughts.

He felt himself become that miserable husk that got shoved out of Blitzøs office.

He clutched his head, hunching over on the brink of tears. His thoughts became like daggers, stabbing into his thoughts.

But before he could shed a tear, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Pulling it out, he found it was a call from you.

In something of a surprised stupor, he answered the call. He tried to clear the emotion from his voice before saying 'Hello?'

'Stolas? Are you okay? You sound upset.' You asked him, concern in your voice.

'(Y/N)?! I... I'm...' he was going to tell you some fluff story, pretending he was fine and probably throwing a few lewd innuendos I'm there.

But, he choked... He just couldn't.

'No... No I'm not okay.' He told you, on the brink of tears. 'I feel like everything is broken and it's all my fault.'

You took a moment to respond, clearing your throat you said. 'Stolas... why did you sleep with Blitzø?'

Stolas was taken aback, 'P-Pardon?'

You sighed, 'Did you want to hurt your family when you chose to sleep with Blitzø?'

Bringing up it was he who made of decision to sleep with Blitzø, made his self loathing grow like a fire.

'N-No!' He told you 'I would never want to hurt my family...'

'Its alright Stolas, I know you wouldn't want to hurt them... But you slept with him for a reason Stolas, you need to know what it is.'

Stolas wasn't sure how to answer, he didn't really know the answer. He could lie, tell you it was just a spur of the moment decision, but that just wasn't true.

'I-I don't know.' He stated, more then said. 'I don't know why I did it... I just... don't know.'

He sat there for several moments, his mind going into overdrive as he thought over the question.

'Its alright Stolas, I believe you. But you need to figure it out, this is something that will haunt you until you figure it out." You told him, trying your best to be serious.

Stolas wiped his eyes, before asking you, 'why did you call (Y/n)? I... don't remember giving you my number!' He mumbled out, rubbing his eye.

You coughed, clearing your throat, 'Don't worry about that. I actually called you because, well I mean, I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to do something tomorrow?' You asked him, voice thick with bashfulness.

Stolas was really taken aback, 'You... You want to do something... With me?' He asked incredulously.

You chuckled on the other end of the phone. 'If I were there right now, Stolas, I'd probably boop you right on a nose.' You tell him through a smile.

'I'd love to do something!' Stolas practically cheered. You chuckled, before telling him 'Great, Ive already got an idea, but if youd like to do-'

Before you could finish your note, Stolas shouted, 'I'd love Too!'

Stolas quickly calmed down, before clearing his throat, 'Sorry... I mean, I'd love to do whatever you had in mind.' He said, cringing at how desperate he'd sounded.

'Good to hear' You chuckled, 'Well, there's this great wine place I know that makes the best little pizzas, and I, uh, wanted to share it with you.'

Your words sent a wave of ecstasy through his body. You not only wanted to spend time with him but actively sought him out to spend time with him.

You were everything he wished Blitzø was.

And he loved it.

He didn't need Blitzø.

He had you now.

'Of course (Y/N), It would be my pleasure to spend some time with you.' He told you, biting his lip.

He felt like a school girl with her first crush, a youthful giddiness clouded his mind.

'Oh? Well I've got tomorrow off, does that work for you? We can do it another day if your busy.' You told him, concern clear in your voice.

It was Stolas' turn to laugh at the tone in your voice.

'I don't have anything on tomorrow, so I'd love to accompany you to yor wine and pizza place. Nothing would make me happier.' He told you earnestly.

He could hear the smile in your voice, as you told him. 'Well, I'm happy to hear that. I'll send you the address later today, call me if you need any directions... I'll see you then, Stolas.'

'I...' Stolas wanted to tell you how much he loved you, just how much joy you brought him with one simple phone call.

He wanted to tell you, but didn't have the words.

As he tried to manifest the words he needed, he heard say through the phone.

'Its alright Stolas. I look forward to seeing you too.'

You told him simply, Stolas just sighed. How you always knew what he was trying to say.

'I'll see you tomorrow, My Beloved.' he told you before you hung up.

Hearing the tell tale dial tone, looking down at the phone, your image in the caller I.D. bringing a smile to his face.

#helluva boss #helluva boss x reader #x reader #headcanon #helluva stolas #stolas x reader #stolas #helluva boss headcanon

[semischarmed]

The Visit

I glance at my phone. 30 minutes. 30 minutes in this chair waiting for the doctor. 30 minutes in a freezing cold examination room wearing nothing but the disposable gown the nurse told me to wear. Now, I’m normally quite patient, but I begin to worry that they may have simply forgotten about me. I sit up straight, ready to leave the chair and ask for the nurse, when my new doctor comes into the room in a rush.

“Hey, Hey! Sorry, sorry. My last patient meeting went a bit over. That alright?“ He grins and verdant eyes sparkle. The man was dreamy. I could say nothing beyond nodding in agreement. 

“Great! Glad to hear it” he beams. I feel an explosion of warmth within my chest and stomach and can’t help but smile back. 

”Thank you so much for understanding. I’m Doctor Ryan! Good to meet you.” I readily shake his hand. Firm. Sturdy. Calloused.  

“Okay great, so we’re just gonna run through your vitals, and… says here you noticed an odd mark show up near your penis?” I flush bright red in embarrassment at the mention. Unperturbed, he continues without skipping a beat “Hmmm.. we’ll definitely want to get that checked. Probably harmless, but could be something bad…  I know the nurse probably covered most of these questions and took your vitals, but [he smirks] just wanna sure we get everything checked correctly, alright?” Damn it. Doctors always have a such way with words, I can’t help but melt in their arms. I feel a numb happy sensation wash over me and again nod in agreement. He was cute, too cute. God. Of course, whatever he thought this appointment was, he was completely off. Most likely picked up the wrong sheet or something, cause I only came for some immunizations. 

Still, the man has me spellbound. I comply with his every whim as he continues running through his normal questioning. In every word, he further puts my will to sleep, with every phrase he draws me closer. To me, his every sentence has progressively slowed the world around us. Not that I’m complaining. I am adrift, motionless in his pool of questioning, sandwiched between warm ocean and sunlight. For a short few moments, I am at peace. I was practically sleeping by the time the second round of questions finished. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and break my spell slightly and I focus in on his beautiful face. “You okay there, bud?” More nods his way.

“Awesome. Let’s get started then.”

———

The physical was.. something else. We start with just an examination of my body. Pale, scholarly eyes remark on my every blemish, my every curve. It would be a nightmare in any other scenario, but in the secure glance of my doctor, I knew I was safe. Still, near his radiant heat, I could not help but get just a bit flustered. My answers are short, odd, my heart rate jumping to his vicinity.

He wiggles his stethoscope in the air. “We’re just gonna get your heart rate okay?” My mouth is hanging open and drooling slightly, but I nod. Really, it’s all I can do. Stunned to obedience. He just spoke so confidently, so assured in his examination. His tone was out of this world. It’s bright but resonant, like each word reverberated his command in my chest. His voice was no less potent. Sound-waves embrace the air with sweet honey, but an undertone of audible trust. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else, still caught in this man’s spell. Now, a handsome man gets me feeling the same way a doctor often does. But he was both. I can manage nothing beyond a smile and continue nodding “okay.” 

I moan at the touch of the stethoscope. It was ice. Penetrative, cold ice, but in his expert hands, it felt like gift from the man. I imagine the metal is a piece of him, precious metal, precious silver embedding itself in me. I want it in me forever- uh, the man, not the stethoscope. 

He grunts. Fuck. “Sorry” I say sheepishly. That moan was definitely audible then. Further embarrassment floods me, only tempered by by the tingling sense of relaxation I felt in being examined by this man. He takes the odd outburst in stride, giving a half smile before continuing. “Believe it or not, you’re not the first”. The man was a professional through and through.

---

In the middle of making sure my reflexes were still functioning, his face winces, and his upper lip trembles, immediately breaking my illusion. He lets out a quick gasp “Ah.. I.. aahhh” barely audibly. I watch as his knuckles grasp the sides of the cushion in my chair desperately, going white in the process. For the first time in our entire session, the haze cast by this man’s being is broken entirely. I feel the dullness in my mind clear as I take note of the oddness from what had just transpired. His mouth goes wide and his face scrunches up into an emotion that I can’t quite place between pain and pleasure. Maybe both? In any case, before I can even investigate further, it relaxes immediately. Emotionless. 

Then, his eyes twitch before going glassy. Doctor Ryan looked like he was about to throw up. Pleading eyes stare into my soul, but the rest of his face remains blank. I am shocked beyond shocked at this point to do anything beyond stare in disbelief while a shit-eating grin slowly paints his face. His eyes blink back to lucidity- now focused on me, and single tear pools on the corner of his left eye and drips down his cheek. He stops it with his thumb before it can drop further, before nonchalantly wrapping plump lips around it. In a slight suction noise, when he pulls the thumb out his mouth in what looks to be a deliberately seductive manner, staring intently at my face the entire time. What the fuck. 

Immediately, he returns to examining me, making no mention of what had just occurred. This time though, his movements seem just a bit erratic, a bit unrefined. I also catch brief glimpses of that same cringing face every time he moves to the next step in his examination, like he was pulling long-forgotten memories from what should be a fairly standard procedure. He repeats the physical, this time going over my every part much more slowly. Any touch, any connection we had seemed to linger just a bit longer than needed. He almost seemed... Interested? Nervous? Whatever case, with every movement, and every step, his hands get a bit steadier, actions more confident. Whatever just happened to him seemed to be over. I am intrigued, if a bit scared. He was acting suspicious. Too many things seemed to line up for me to dismiss this as just normal checkup. In lustful wishes, I invoke whatever I can, hoping I’m correct. I try to sneak a peak at the outline of his admittedly large penis in his scrubs. Absolutely Flaccid. Odd. Disappointing, to say the least. Whatever this weird, hot doctor was doing, he wasn’t getting off on it.

When he gets to my lower body, he abruptly splits my knees open, spreading my legs wide. Another moan almost escapes me. Thankfully a veil of disposable fabric separates my doctor from my now semi-erect penis. Unthankfully, I can’t help but tent the gown full mast when his ice cold hands begin to trace and snake slowly around my inner thigh. I look at him in shock and he just beams back at me like the past few minutes had not just happened. “Hmmm… great legs…” My face goes crimson and I scream internally at my own inability to control my own body. “Okay, your -hNnggg-ah cha-chart, yes. Apologies for the outburst… your chart seemed to mention some concerns about your penis? Let’s take a closer look” He states, looking up at me with a half-smile. 

“No- er, I think- ah, you got the wrong-” I can barely stammer out a response in the raw stimulation of Doctor Ryan grabbing and gently examining my cock and balls. Pleasure bloomed wherever his fingers glided over. This was a mental battle I could not win. Mind versus body. I was fighting myself, my own urges. He makes gentle cupping motions around my balls, back and forth. I look at him in bewilderment. There was no way this was just for a normal examination. He smiles pleasantly, “just checking for anything out of place… so far, so good”. Mystery solved, I guess. He slowly wraps thick fingers, encircling my cock in an embrace. Not solved. Not solved. I am rock hard. He gives a short chuckle. “Well, at the very least, your nerves appear to be working…. Blood flow looks good as well…Nothing out of the ordinary so far”. I am beet red at this point. Fuck me. I can’t even compose myself in front of this man. 

Then, Doctor Ryan gives it a tug. FUCK. 

“Holy shiiiiiit” I moan out. I turn my head away as my body quivers and gives in to a moment of divine pleasure. Betrayed by my own senses. A second, higher pitched moan escapes my now open throat, barely audible, while the a tiny bit of clear fluid spills onto the doctor’s unflinching hand. I can’t bear to look this guy in the eye. I need a new fucking doctor.

“You know, this is completely natural. Absolutely a normal human body response. Don’t worry about it” he says absentmindedly as he continues. “If anything, at least we know you can still produce, so it doesn’t look like there’s anything to worry about”. He mumbles happily. Outside my sightline, I swear I hear a licking, slurping noise. His hand, looked a bit wetter than before too.That being said, my brain has shut down from humiliation. At this point all I can manage is a blank nod. 

“Well, good news- you’re perfectly hea- Oh! Actually, do you mind?” He begins to unbutton his coat and then proceeds set it on the table beside me.  “You know it’s always a bit hot and stuffy in these rooms”. My eyes can’t help but visually eat at the feast before me. Bare chest and stray hairs poke out from his scrubs. The sleeves are taut around his massive biceps. Despite the objectively unflattering material, it can’t help but conform slightly to his muscular physique. It was pretty clear before, but it was definitely fact now. My doctor was hot as fuck. Something about his last question eats away at my my brain. It wasn’t hot at all. The room is cold, dry, sterile. Hell, this whole hospital is. It’s like he has me back in a trance though. Words smooth as silk, body like sculpture. He had a power over me, so I nod in compliance without even acknowledging how absurd the previous statement was.

“So, as I was saying... the good news is your vitals are all in line.” He laughs kindly, patting my stomach “Maybe eat a bit more protein every now and then”. The voice is warm and reassuring. My brain relaxes to the end in sight to this half dream-half nightmare. I start to get up to get changed before I realize the entire reason for the visit.

“Hey-er, wait! My Immunizations! I needed to get some immunizations done for my-“ 

“Oh?” He cuts me off, eyebrows raised. Intrigue paints his face.  

Then he leans in close, head right up to my ear until the parts of chest peaking from the hospital gown touches the stray hairs poking out from his scrubs. Until we share warmth in that cold examination room. He breathes alongside me in rhythm as he exhales.

“You…don’t need any immunizations. I do… well, I did, anyway. It’s too late for him now...But we do have something planned, for you-we’re gonna try an experimental processss. A brand new… test…just for you...” He whispers. He pauses as he continues to breathe and I feel the hot, damp air emanating from his mouth coat my ear. “We need to test you for... stimulation.” Dear God. That last word he draws out in a far, far different tone than before. It neither clinical nor polite, and it hit like a brick. There was raw emotion in that last word. Raw lust. He cups the other side of my face pulling my left cheek to touch his. Like his chest, it’s quite warm. I’m flush with redness and confusion. I gulp nervously.

His tone returns in its warmth and politeness, contrasted by the intimate position we are in. “Hmmmmm salivating...mmmm... Quite a bit actually. You’re either haven’t eaten… or… you’re hungry for something.” I can’t manage out anything coherent amidst the sensory overload. He continues confidently, “C’mon... I’m your primary care physician? Let me take care of it. Let me take care of you...” He sticks his hand down his own pants, scratching to readjust. With our chests together, I am brought to our present moment. A moment in paradise. When he ebbs, I flow. Like a dance, my chest caves in with every exhale as his puffs out. He does in turn. We were partners. His scent pours out unconfined, unfiltered by distance, concentrated in our proximity. Like rainfall and crushed grass. I could live in it. With our cheeks pressed together, I feel his every movement. Every word spoken drawn in by my inhale. These would be mine to keep. This moment was ours and ours alone. He brings up the same hand, now a bit slimier to take a whiff before shoving that sweaty, funky smelling hand right to my face. I can’t control myself and start inhaling my hot doctor. I lick the man’s hand clean. Delicious.

I continue lapping it up in silence before he finally breaks it to speak. “Mhmmmmm... that’s the stuff... Maybe if we feed you enough of this hot doctor’s cum, you’d pick up on some of his residual intelligence and figure who’s really running this man.” My eyes light up, and the pieces finally all click together in my head. I chuckle. 

“Good to see you too, Ben.”

———

“Leave it to humans to take something so beautifully sensual and twist it. He’s a bit too good at compartmentalizing. In many respects… It’s fucking hot. But, you know, when he’s in this work mode, he sees you as nothing more than sack of meat. We’re not getting anywhere with him without a little push”. Without warning, Ben pulls the doctor’s pants down and fiddles with his new dick- still flaccid. Jesus Christ it’s huge. 

“Look, even this... appendage. Yes that’s an atypical response. I mean look at me, look at this new body we acquired. I’m swimming in this human’s hormones.” He wraps his hand around and begins pumping it. “But see here, it’s still all clinical in this head. I can only get inside him so far. We need something to end this human’s resistance. We need something extra to break him out of this trance. We need raw emotion.”

Just then, the door comes wide open. It’s Austin.

As he closes the door behind him, I see his face more clearly. It’s Austin’s body, but its pilot is undeniably Ben. Austin had a certain swagger to him that my little alien buddy just can’t quite replicate.

Ryan’s mouth opens wide and I watch as his true form exits from my doctor’s mouth and shoot strait into Austin’s welcoming nose. I watch as the doctor goes lucid. His eyes go wide and he stares at me in horror before attempting to escape. Before he can, he is pinned to the ground by the far larger Austin. “Cmon man, smell this fucking body. Feel something”

“If you can’t… we’ll do it for you. We’re going for a wild ride.. relax and enjoy it.” Austin’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and I watch as he gives a crazed grin, jaws open unnaturally wide. His tongue sticks out, his head is bright red, and pulsing silver courses through now-prominent veins. Damn. My Doctor looks at me with one last pleading glance, but all I can do is moan “I want you mine.” 

Doctor Ryan lets out an involuntary scream when he notices the changes in Austin’s face, which only work to his disadvantage as a pulsating, semi-solid mass of silver falls into his open maw. Austin sticks their mouths together. Using his tongue, he maintains a steady passageway for Ben. Using his lips, Austin keeps the doctor’s pried open to forcibly receive the precious silver. Their heads bob back and forth as more and more of the slimy mass falls into doctor. I watch as a massive lumps outline themselves in his throat, then his chest, before disappearing into the depths of his body. I notice a little bit pool and spill out the corner of his mouth. When the process is over, Austin’s body falls limply to the side. I stare at the messy pile of silver goo still smeared over Ryan’s drooling mouth. Should I?

I lean over, giving my dream man a kiss. My eyes flutter at the prospect. Ugh, he’s perfect. I feel the every contour of the face of man who would soon be ours, before sucking up the excess silver an a bit of his drool in my mouth. No use putting this stuff to waste. 

In a flash, I feel ecstasy. “Jesus fucking christ” I moan, as I feel a burst of energy from within. The parts of silver which were Ben settle into me, surging me with power and I feel his thoughts reverberate in my mind. In that split second, I also feel the vertigo of looking from two bodies at once. I feel the immense pleasure of controlling two bodies at once and the parts of silver which were Austin become immediately apparent. Goddamn what a fucking power trip. Austin was mine. A quick rush of stolen confidence from my previous tormentor floods my insides and I welcome my updated sense of self. Fuck yeah. Took a part of him for me. He’s never getting this back. I stare at his body and will it up. My dominion, now. While his head still hung unconscious, I move my fingers and tingle in delight as I watch his hands follow. The moment is fleeting though, and I feel the disappointment as my vision recedes back to my singular one.”Hope you liked that” I feel Ben state in my head. “Just a taste. This piece of us you’ve ingested... I think it’s best you keep it. I find this setup beneficial to us both. We can keep in constant contact this way. You might find some residual power left over Austin too, thought probably not in the way you think… at least… not yet.“ 

Before I can question him in my head, the doctor’s body shivers awake and then spasms before letting out a primal scream. Ryan’s looked... bigger? Almost swollen. His body occupied the same space they did before, but there was a larger presence to him. His muscles pump up, obviously riled into a frenzy. “Just a little attitude adjustment, and...Goddamn easy mode, Fuck!” He faces me. His eyes are rolled to the back of his head and silvery veins pulse all over his body. Seconds later, he settles and his eyes return to focus me. “Fuck yeah, you wanted this doctor, right? Bro, you know my bod’s way better. Fuck it though, I don’t care  as I’m a part of the ride. Remember your fucking promise.” He states through gritted teeth. Unnatural coming out of the normally Angelic Doctor Ryan. 

“Your Doc’s too nice though, right? You… Ben… you deserve better. I’ll make us better for you. Look how much fucking bigger, how much more of a fucking man we are with some Austin mixed in....” I am speechless, but he’s right. The doctor now exuded a dominating presence. In any other circumstance, I’d be frightened and compliant. In the presence of Ben, I felt safe.

“Thank Ben he brought us inside this man. Mmmmmm his brain is delicious… I feel so much smarter inside him. We’re gonna fuck him up. Make him better, like you did to me. Twist his head. Make him want your cum almost as much as I do. Make him want to spread more Ben around…. Mmmm speaking of, I feel him inside me. He’s squirming into us both out and goddamn it feels good.” Ryan’s body moans Austin’s moan. “I can’t wait for you to learn how to do this... to put yourself inside me-Please! Fuck! Learn it faster! That... part of me you stole… I feel good as part of you, right? You like it in you, right? Pure fucking jock. Take good care of it…more where that came from”. It was definitely my doctor, but between the behavior and facial expressions, undeniably Austin. Well, post-Ben Austin.

“I-Arrgh” I watch curiously as the doctor’s body shivers. “Ben’s... ready for you.” He winks as his eyes briefly roll to their sockets and roll back. Austin-er Ryan’s demeanor immediately changed ”Had to do a little arranging inside this doctor. We just need one final piece. Ryan’s body ready to receive its new masters. I need you to put as much cum inside this man as you can... I really like this one, his position is useful. But his mind... it’s so vast. He’s no Austin...It’s gonna take a lot more of our genetic material to tame it.”

Austin-er Ben does pushups on the floor. He clears a few hundred before wiping his sweat all over his scrubs. Of course, despite channeling Austin’s very essence, this body is not nearly as buff or as muscular as his so I watch as Ryan is forced to push up and down beyond his limits, tears streaming down his eyes, hands and legs shaking in protest, forced smiling all the while. Previously crisp scrub are now stained, damp in Ben’s body’s perspiration. The smell this weird, hybrid mix emanated was unique. Of course, it still had the cleanliness I’d expect from a doctor. Fresh cologne and nature- exactly what I’d expect from the healthy, professional man which had previous examined me. This man before me was not the same man as before. Because, interwoven was the musk, the testosterone, the pungent stink of our deranged puppet Austin. It was altogether divine. 

“Look at this.” He states with a sneer as he does a bicep flex. His damp scrubs hug his muscle tightly, almost breaking at the seams. The bicep is throbbing. “I feel this body crying in pain and exhaustion. From his mind though... do you know how muscles are made? Tiny tears regrown stronger” A pulse of silver darts through his veins, immediately returning it to stillness. “What wonderful new information. We’re gonna use that. Fill into these layers with a bit of Ben, and a bit of you”. He starts laughing now “Doc Ryan here doesn’t call the shots…This isn’t his body anymore… It’s ours.” 

With that, Ben lifts my gown and sticks his drenched head near my already-hard cock. Fuck he’s warm. Our sweat and scents mingle and I feel my inner thighs go moist in the perspiration in the air. 

“Austin, to the forefront. Combined effort. We need him body and mind. Let us create a new Ryan,” he states. My doctor slowly wrap his thick, plump lips over my dick. Moment’s later, the man’s wet tongue slides forward. I shudder. A bit tickles in a spot just below the head and I squirm on the spot. Jesus fuck, oh- oh fuck, he’s good- he’s really good.

My shaking hands are sloppily held in place. I move them reflexively in the onslaught of pleasure. It’s like Ryan’s body was made for this. Absolute Heaven. I let out a loud moan as I continue to squirm in the confines of my position. Ben had commandeered some control of Austin’s unconscious body, and it stood there, just over me, holding my hands in place and body. Its eyes were rolled back, mouth drooling. Bits of spit dribbled to my forehead. I paid them no mind. Basically an extension of my own bodily fluids at this point anyway. Besides, whatever made Austin, Austin was mostly inside Ryan now, helping Ben add a wonderful new addition to our collection. 

Ryan’s sensual motions, His body expertly bobbing, beckons mine. Erotic symphony. I can do nothing beyond quake in my seat. I hold for as long as I can but it’s too much. This was it. First, I moan. Then, I scream. FUCK. Goddamn bliss. Sweet Release. Pure Ecstasy. I am reduced to babbling internally as I release more and more of myself inside Ryan’s welcoming mouth. Using his powerful chest, he creates a slight suction, greedily taking as much of my cum inside as he can. The body begins to choke for air, but I feel Austin and Ben smile instead and continue inhaling my cum. Their eyes only relayed one word. More. There’s not much else I could have done anyway, because I continue to spew load after load inside the man. It’s the best I ever felt, the longest it’s ever been and the most I ever given. I sit in extended euphoria, paralyzed in bliss. Logic aside, ethics aside, this was my new order. Our new order. In my mind I strive to continue on, to bring more to this light. So many delicious fucking bodies in this town. So many new ‘me’s destined, yearning for my control- even if they didn’t know it yet. That last bit might have been some of Austin’s megalomania in me.   

The phone rings at Ryan’s side and he picks it up. Someone patches in a call. 

“Doctor are you alright? We heard some odd noises“. I watch Ben in alarm. He cracks his head to the side, cock still in his mouth, and veins coursing in silver fluid display prominently in his temples. He switches demeanor almost seamlessly back. In contrast, like strings cut, Austin’s body falls over me, unmoving. I didn’t mind. I inhale his jock essence as I listen in.

“Yewph- Iw- Ehem.. I’m quiw ahwigh, *gulp*… ahhh yeah.. Apologies, Nancy this appointment is taking just a bit longer than expected. I’ll be ready soon- just need a little more time with this one.” Every word again resounds warmly, calmly, politely in this man. When Ben channels Ryan, it’s like I’m hearing the same person who examined me earlier. He was ours. I glance his way and a bit of my cum is still on his lips as he continues his conversation. He happily draws it to his mouth with a finger and sucks it clean. My cock is drenched in the doctors sweat. Fucking hot. Ben found us a real catch. “Dr. Ben” ends the call and mentally, he’s back to our present situation, back to huffing in breathless pleasure, as he continues sucking the any residual mess in me clean. He gives me a wink as he finishes. 

Ryan then stands over to Austin, and, in a reverse of the process from earlier vomits out the same silvery mass, now slick with streaks of white, back into its container. There was significantly less this time. From the still open mouth of Ryan, I watch the tiny man emerge, giving me a motion that indicated he was smiling. “I’m staying in this one a bit longer. Driving this particular specimen gives me a pleasure not wholly physical.” The mouth slowly closes and Ryan’s eyes show life again. He smiles. I look expectantly at the two of them. They begin making out. The sounds are sloppy and I can’t help but get a bit jealous. Taking note, they both stop abruptly before giving me a wink. The both speak at once while Ryan begins stripping stark naked.

“Can’t help it...You should come and stay in this room for a while. My next patient’s got quite a body we can utilize, based on this man’s memory. You still got some cum left in you? I can’t expand further without it” I nod happily. If Ben thinks he’s cute, we had to at least try. What am I saying? I can produce like a motherfucker, took part of my bully inside, made it mine. I may not look it yet, but I was alpha now.  

“Austin, strip down, I need some new clothes, and yours are a better fit.” Austin’s face cringes and I watch as his normal personality returns. Normal was a stretch, because he was far more subservient now than he was before this all began. Ben then looks at me with a toothy smile as he walks over to my pile of neatly folded clothes and digs out my underwear. He nonchalantly strips stark naked and then proceeds to put on my underwear. “This is a tight- Hmph!” He struggles to get each thick leg through “-ah, your clothes...Mmm! So tiny”. This results in my hot, nearly naked doctor wearing my underwear tightly. It’s pulled to its seams as it’s forced to constrict and hold together the doctor’s massive package. I watch as his cock begins to get hard, only to be restricted by the fabric. He moans at the setup. “Ayyyyeeee fuck! Fuck yeah. It feels like you’re in here, squeezing this host’s cock and ass. I’m gonna make sure he wears this forever. I’m gonna make sure this imprints our scent into this man. Look at me. Look at this muscle. Ryan..mmmmm.... all the brains and brawn in the world couldn’t help you. Every time he gets hard on, I want him to be wearing this. I want his penis to scrape this, to be bound by it, forever a reminder of who the real Ryan is now.”

Ben’s new doctor personality switches back. He politely gestures to his pile of clothes, still freshly warm before looking at me. “If you’re gonna be my assistant, you’ll need to look the part,” he states with a kind smile. I eye the warm pile, almost steaming in the residual heat. Ryan’s body licks its lips. Ben again. “Wear it. This man is ours, forever. Take ownership of that. Of those clothes. There’s so much of your genetic material embedded inside this particular specimen, at this point these are your own as much as it is his.”

I rush over to put the scrubs on, to feel the residual heat in my doctor Ryan envelop me. I relish in it. Still warm and moist with his sweat. It was like I was wearing the man myself. Of course, it fits loosely over me, and I barely pass as an assistant. He leans over to me. “smell it” he whispers. “Smell yourself. I like you better this way”. He’s right. I smell so fucking alpha in this getup. Ben then begins putting on Austin’s clothes, which are a much better fit. 

In contrast, Austin is forced to wear the remainder my clothes, which he creepily sniffs first and ends up with it fitting way too tight and revealing on him. I gesture to offer the scrubs I just put on instead, but he immediately declines in a huff, “No... I’m fucking better this way. More... complete” He moans “This was the way I was meant to be... yours... wearing this makes me feel like you’re here inside me, wearing your own clothes. I belong like this...This is your body, it misses you, and he doesn’t feel whole until you’re back home.” He pats himself. “I can’t wait for you to become this. And I’m not fucking taking no for an answer either. One day, I’m putting you where you belong- inside me so we can never be separated again. Moving around feels empty when you’re not in here doing it for me”. What the fuck did Ben do? The guy, my previous bully was horny just being near me. It felt amazing.

I silently thank Ben. Whatever Austin was rambling on about turned me the fuck on. I smiled. That piece of Austin I ingested earlier- I think his shitty vocab’s been rubbing off on me. Regardless, Austin was right- wearing him, controlling him from the inside was where I belonged. I deserved it. Deserved him. “Wait for us at home- we won’t be long” Ben instructs Austin through Ryan in a fatherly tone. Austin complies, leaving the room, staring longingly at me until he no longer could. 

Ben puts on his coat. “Well then, that’s settled. I hope your cock is ready, human, we have a full schedule of bodies to possess.“

-End of “Ben Pt. 2″-

A smarter version of me would have split this into two parts. Also, preemptive apologies to anyone in a medical profession.

#Male possession #Alien possession #Male control #male puppet #male body control

[badgirlcovenrep]

atlas

Alex Chen × Steph Gingrich fluffy comfort one-shot

(I was talking to a friend about the game and we were discussing how Alex is probably still carrying a lot of trauma. And even after everything that happened at the mines we still don't see her really grieve for the whole situation and herself. So- I had to write it, you know?)

Enjoy!

TW: mentions of suicide, death and mental health issues.

It's two months into their relationship now, and they are somewhere in a Californian town, living in a tiny apartment close to the beach. They play together in small venues and underground clubs. Alex bartends and Steph referees for DND campaigns at a nerd bar they found by chance on their first week there.

They're happy. As happy as Alex remembers being since she was- well, maybe nine.

Every day, it's a little like waking up into a dream. Living in an apartment with her first girlfriend, listening to music as they cooked dinner together. Getting to kiss her just because Alex felt like it. Because her heart went a little loopy inside her chest when she smiled. Because she knew Steph would hold on to her waist and make her feel like she was full of electricity.

The 'falling in love' business felt overrated before Steph.

But Being in the middle of it now, Alex doesn't think there's anything better.

Although a part of her still felt quite numb - she guesses it's not something that will go away that easily - and day by day, Alex felt a little bit more like she could breathe... like she was finally letting herself go, at least a little bit.

****

Now that she could comprehend and use her powers, it also seemed as if she'd started to become even more of a magnet for all sorts of emotion around her. And apparently Alex could do it in her sleep too.

The nightmares came in clusters most of the time, a badly cut-together mess of voices and feelings. The lady that lived under them, who lost her son when he was little. The couple from down the street, who were going through a hard time in their relationship. Even the little girl from upstairs, who had terrible night terrors of sharp-teethed monsters reaching from under her bed.

They all mixed inside her head until she woke up gasping for air and sizzling with emotion.

It was rare that she'd have a full dream, one that made sense and completed itself, but when she did they were always about Gabe. About sitting together at the rooftop of the Lantern and sharing a beer. Or climbing trees, like they used to do when they were little.

It was a relief from the usual doom.

And that dream was supposed to be nothing different. Or at least she thought it wasn't.

****

In it, they were at the ravine. A world of twinkling stars shining above their heads. The Colorado mountains all around them creating a landscape that was just as beautiful as it was bittersweet. Alex could see the log she'd crossed, still standing between her and the tiny outcrop of stone Ethan had been stranded on.

She hadn't dreamed of the ravine since leaving Haven Springs, but while she was there, Alex dreamt of it every night. She would see it when her eyes were closed. She could hear it, - the sirens, the terrible, deafening rumble of the ground splitting beneath them. The panic, pounding into her ears.

But this is different. Because when she looks around, Alex realizes she's standing over the elevated plateau, tied to the waist and leaning all her weight against a sturdy piece of rock.

Looking at her from below is Gabe. Lying on the cold ground. A cheesy smile spread across his face.

"Why are we switched?" Alex asks because that's all she can think of asking, as she stares at the rope that anchored her to the ground... to Gabe.

"Beats me. This is all your brain, not mine." He says, and Alex huffs in annoyance, "you know what's going to happen, but you keep coming here."

"I don't have a choice."

"Hmmm..." Gabe hums, but there's some humor in his expression as he stares intently back at her, "and that's exactly why... I'm here because I should say goodbye."

A coldness spreads over Alex's limbs. Around her, the very fabric of the dream dims into darkness as a strong breeze blows past them. She suddenly feels like throwing up.

"What- what does that mean?" It's a stupid question. This is her dream. Alex knows what it means.

Deep down, she knew she'd been conjuring him up for her own sake. Trying to bring back any morsel of relief into the giant hole he'd left inside her heart. However, Alex also knew at some point he'd be gone- she just didn't expect-

"You don't need me anymore, Alex." He says. As if it's that simple. As if she'd ever-

"I'll always need you, Gabe. Of course I need you." The words stumble out of her mouth, and she can feel the hot, angry tears falling down her face.

It feels like a hot iron pressed to the very top of her chest.

Like lava, boiling up into her bloodstream until Alex wants to punch something. The steam that prickles from under her skin, fighting to break free.

Anger always comes first when people feel cornered. It's something she noticed a while back. Out of all the emotions Alex had dealt with the past few months, that, at least, hadn't changed.

"Shit, Gabe. When you died I needed you more than ever."

"But we can't fix that, can we?" He asks, and another wave of anger rips through her. She looks anywhere but him, because Alex feels that if she does, she'll tackle and kill him all over again. But when he says nothing and they're left in the same pocket of silence - the one right before the whole world collapsed - her eyes eventually fall back to her brother. Tied to her and laid on the ground beneath. Looking at her like just as much the goofy asshole she missed so much.

Anger always felt urgent and fast, like a flash going through her body and leaving everything inside it in disarray. It demanded to be completely felt, but only for the moment it took for Alex to decide it wasn't worth launching the nearest object at a window.

Or trying to kill her dead brother.

"You might have needed Gabe. But you don't need this Gabe anymore, Alex. You can do it on your own now."

The fear and sadness that came after? They were usually much, much worse.

"But this is the only Gabe I have."

Those emotions, when mixed, turned into a horrible harmony that paralyzed her lungs and darkened the sides of her vision. They felt just as urgent as anger, but complacent. A beast staring at her from the very bottom of a pit. Tied to her by the waist and trying to lure her down into the abyss.

And, for Alex, the abyss was as deep as a ventilation shaft for a Colorado mining site.

"No, it's not. You'll always have me, Alex. And you know that." Not in the way that matters. Alex wants to say, but it's so redundant. He's the ghost. He should already know that. "And you have Ryan now, and Eleanor, Riley, Charlotte, Ethan... Steph..." he gives her a cheesy smile in the last name, wiggling his eyebrows back at her teasingly.

"Oh, God, way to ruin the moment." Alex can't help but chuckle a little through her tears. Is she blushing? You can't blame her for blushing, right? God, she feels like Diane.

"Hey. Let me have it. One of my only regrets is that I never got to tease the hell out of Steph for dating my little sister... and for being whipped as hell."

"That would have been so funny."

"I knew she'd get along with you but I guess I didn't expect... that. Shame on me. Should've had more artistic vision."

Alex chuckles as more tears run down her face. It's so bittersweet it hurts from the very inside of herself.

"All jokes aside. I'm glad you have her, and that she has you. She's good. Just make sure you tell her I'll haunt her from the grave if her dumb ass breaks your heart, okay?" Alex nods, and her body starts shaking with strangled sobs. So much emotion she just can't let go of. Because if she does, Alex is afraid there'll be nothing left.

"Hey. Don't cry. You can do this, Alex. You know how to live life now."

"I don't want to lose you again, Gabe."

"You'll never lose me. You'll just have to look a little harder." He smiles up at her, pulling jokingly on the rope, "now play your part - or is it my part? You get it."

And then- too soon. (Same as it was that night.) The sirens blast through the mountains, and somewhere above them, a giant explosion blows her eardrums, and boulders the size of cars come tumbling down the mountain.

She barely has time to blink. Barely has time to breathe one last time. Seen as she's Gabe, when she looks up all she sees is the giant rock, flying towards her, hitting her across the torso so hard, before she knows, she's flying way above the ravine, and one last glimpse of the stars catches hold over the veil of her memory before everything turns black.

****

She wakes up in bed, desperately clawing at the top of her chest as she gasps for air. Her lungs feel like they're made of lead, and all around her, she can feel the weight of the rocks, the explosion, the debris, weighing down her body.

Alex pats across the mattress for Steph, who is not there. Another wave of panic washes over her. So strong her mouth turns dry and her head aches as she tries to breathe in, but her lungs can only handle tiny, torturous gasps of half-breath.

Alex dispels a world of curses towards herself inside. Willing her own body to just calm down. In the bathroom, she can hear Steph singing softly to herself- she must have come home late from the DND tournament. Alex told her she'd swing by, but she'd had a long shift and ended up just passing out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Alex hadn't had an incident like this in very long. She could control it now. Most times. It wasn't easy, with being on the road and constantly surrounded by people. Sometimes, she still got more than she could bargain. When she walked across a depressed person on the sidewalk, or heard one of their multiple neighbors yelling at each other through the walls, and suddenly she felt as if the world blended out of focus into a tsunami of feeling.

Feeling that wasn't hers but still felt so much like it was.

Steph helped whenever it happened. For a sarcastic punk rock mess, she was surprisingly stable and so very reassuring.

Just the fact that she can hear her voice. That Steph is there in the apartment with her, is enough to calm some of her nerves, and while Alex still can't keep herself from pulling in gasps of air as she tries to hold in any kind of oxygen, she at least has a plan.

Water. Water will make her feel better, right?

Almost as soon as the idea crosses her mind, Alex's half-delirious brain commands her to get up, but her body feels so very heavy. Like she's really been trampled over by a wave of giant boulders. And as soon as her feet touch the ground, her legs give up under the weight, and she falls onto the hard floor with a loud, heavy thud.

The girl's hands fly up to hold her weight against the bed, and thankfully that means she doesn't face plant the ground, but it sends her heart into a neck-breaking pace, and all air Alex'd been able to gather so far escapes her in a single huff until she's hyperventilating again, hot, angry tears running down her face.

You're so weak. You're such a fucking idiot. Of course, you had to go and lose Gabe twice, who the fuck would want to stay with such a mess-

"Alex, are you okay?" Steph's voice comes, as she opens the door to find her girlfriend sitting on the ground, looking like she might pass out from just trying to get her lungs to work, "Alex!"

In a second she's crossed their room and kneeled by her, both hands going up to her cheeks on instinct, smearing away her tears.

"Breathe with me, okay? We've done this before, you can do it." She always gets just a tiny bit of a scared aura around her when Alex gets like this, never for long enough that she can read it, but it's still there, the tiny flutter of fear, "come on, breathe."

Her eyes go up to find Steph's, her strong, glittering green gaze. Alex might be the one with superpowers, but it was Steph who could so easily reach in and soften her edges like it was nothing. It was Steph who could just lean in and hold Alex's hand against her chest, letting her feel the determined rise of her lungs. Strong. Stable. Even Alex couldn't possibly understand how she did that.

How she always made Alex's breathing slowly come to shaky, deep breaths, crawling painfully out of her dry throat, but still better than gasping like a fish. Inside her, Alex feels the furious hurricane of emotion, twisting itself into the bottom of her lungs, taking hold of every bit of her until she felt like she could throw up.

"Wait here, I'll get you water," Steph says, and Alex wants to complain, she doesn't want to be alone, even for a second.

But before she can, Steph has left their bedroom for the kitchen, and Alex feels as if she's stable enough to crawl into bed, so she does so at a glacial pace. She grabs Shu-Shu, holding her close to her chest as she sits and waits for Steph.

She eventually comes back in with a glass full and Alex gulps it down in silence, unsure if whatever dam of emotion that has taken place inside of her will break if she tries to speak. So she sets the glass back and lies her head down on the pillow, facing away from Steph and the rest of the room as she tries to reel herself back in.

She can hear Steph taking off her boots and climbing into bed, one arm winding around her waist as she pulls Alex in closer.

"Was it the lady from upstairs?" Steph asks, eventually, after they sit in a few long minutes of silence.

"No." She replies, and it comes out so strangled, so broken, a few more tears run down her face. Steph pulls her even closer, a tight, steady pressure.

"The couple again? I swear to God I'll call the police on that asshole this time."

"No." Alex says, and she detaches herself from Steph just enough so she can turn around and look at her, "I had a dream about Gabe." Simply saying his name makes her whole body shake. Steph is looking at her so intensely, Alex has to close her eyes, holding on to the fabric of her shirt with all she had not to explode in whatever terrifying, dizzying bomb of emotion she could feel brewing inside herself.

Alex felt so much from other people it overwhelmed her multiple times a day, and even then, it was nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to how much sheer strength it took from her not to let it blow.

It scared her. More than anything.

"He wanted to say goodbye." She says eventually, "it was- I don't know. This- I- this isn't coming from anyone- How do I get rid of it? It's like it's all inside of me and it's taking up so much space and I don't know how to fix it" The words come tumbling out before she can stop them, and she's rambling through tears.

Steph sighs. And Alex can feel the love and sadness mixed together, blowing from her in waves as she holds Alex's chin, bringing her up so they can look at each other.

"Baby..." there are tears in her eyes now, as she pulls her closer until their foreheads are touching, and they are so close Alex can smell her lemongrass shampoo, "This is all yours."

And such simple words shouldn't hit her this fucking hard.

But it all suddenly makes so much sense-

Alex was numb after her dad left. She felt nothing for months. It was one of the most terrifying feelings in the world, a deep and powerful depression that threatened to overtake her at any given point.

Like her whole body was nothing but dead weight and her brain was way too tired to even try and keep up.

Young as she was, Alex guesses she never realized the first time she felt anything at all after that was when she discovered her powers. The day a boy came to the orphanage and he was so angry it blew her across the hallway. Ever since then, everything around her was a cacophony of feeling. Coming from every direction. Every street corner, every store, every park.

Every moment of her life since she was eleven, Alex could only feel for others.

"I- I forgot." She realizes, half surprise and half so much sadness another sob breaks through her throat.

Now it made sense, the anger, the sadness, the fear, a hurricane of emotion so very powerful it made her ears ring.

"I'm scared." She admits. Because for someone who had been so focused on learning how to exist among other people's feelings, Alex had no clue how to handle herself, "what do I do with all of this? How do I fix it?"

"Alex. Look at me." Steph brings her face upwards until they are so close, Alex can see the speckles of blue in her eyes, "Gabe died just four months ago, and you were there to see everything- then you got shot and thrown down God knows how many stories into a dark abyss that you somehow walked out of, but not before also finding out about your dad's tragic death - and I haven't seen you cry, actually cry, for yourself, even once."

"I- I can't, it's too much. I don't know how, Steph." Alex had learned her lesson. She'd seen her life as it was and survived it. Deep down she knew it wasn't her responsibility anymore - that it never was her responsibility, to begin with - to hold herself together for others. She knows.

But old habits die hard, and Alex guesses it'll take a while before she starts feeling it too.

Because right now, it still felt like the world might collapse if she wasn't there to hold it together.

"Just- give it to me. Everything you have, I can carry it for you." Steph says, with such determination, Alex actually believes her, but she takes her eyes away, trying to avoid the bubbling of tears threatening to jump out through her throat "Let it go, please, Alex. I can't watch you carry it alone anymore."

At that moment, Alex glances at her again, and there's so much pain, so much love in her eyes, that inside Alex, the dam finally breaks and she's choking on sobs. Tears start running down her cheeks as Steph leans in and pulls her closer, one arm around her shoulder and one on her hip, squeezing tight in reassurance.

If she didn't know better, Alex would've guessed Steph was the one with the superpowers, with the way she coaxes wave after wave of emotion out of her with nothing but her steady presence and quick, light kisses she leaves on Alex's head and hair as she holds on to her shirt for dear life.

It overwhelmed her more than anything she'd experienced so far, and for what feels like hours, she just sobs as Steph holds her.

She cries for her mom. Dead before her time, trying to hold them together to the very end. She cries for her dad, dying a slow death deep underground, a picture of the two children he'd never see again dangling around his neck. She cries for Gabe, for the time they'd never have, for the time they did have.

Above all, for the first time, Alex cried for herself. For being the last out of all of them. For the little girl that had to love and lose every single one of them in succession.

And in the middle of all of it, like a speckle of golden light hidden under all the darkness, for the first time, she feels that it could all start to feel alright.

#send me chenrich prompts #i dare you #chenrich #chengrich #alex chen #steph gingrich #life is strange true colors #long post #chenrich fanfic #chenrich fic #alex chen × steph gingrich

[acemapleeh]

Warmth

Summary: Matthew is absolutely freezing while staying at Jan’s place. The easiest solution? Back to bed and heat the poor man up in the proper manner, even if chores are going to be on hold for a while.

Word Count: 1741

Characters: Canada, Netherlands

Read on ao3

Warnings: Explicit Sex :3

Matthew had been shivering almost since the moment he woke up. Jan had gotten up far earlier to make breakfast and had taken all the warmth in the bed with him. Even wrapped under blankets as he watched television as his partner went about the household chores, he just couldn’t get the same warmth he had when he was sleeping. Grumbling and with his two blankets around him, he made his way back to the bedroom in hopes of finding any leftover warmth from the night before. Curled under the various types of blankets, Matt made himself as comfortable as could be. With the rumbling of the washer and the faint sounds of Jan’s humming coming from the kitchen, Matthew was able to get himself to relax despite the chill he still felt in his bones.

By the time his eyes had opened again, soft kisses were being placed along his cheeks and jaw. His eyes fluttered open slowly, the scent of Jan’s aftershave filling his nose. Matthew hummed, content with this new, and much approved on, awakening. He could still hear the signs of housework being done in the background, delighted that Jan was taking a break just to spend some quality time with him.

His kisses back to him were slow and lazy, pulling him down close with his arms wrapped around his neck. The chills that were so rooted in his bones were finally feeling like they were melting away. As Jan climbed into the bed and on top of him, he wrapped as much of himself around him as he could. Anyone who wasn’t Matt was very good at giving warmth away but that usually left them quite chilled and left the northern nation feeling quite guilty about the whole ordeal.

“Is this your way of telling me that the laundry’s going to have to come out late?” he chided lightly, still tracing kisses along Matthew’s cheeks and face.

“It takes forever anyway… you can kill some time with me and unfreeze me,” Matt said with a slight pout, eyes still half-lidded in a tired state. He was halfway across the world but the harsh winter at home had a firm hold of his very self.

“Drying does take forever. I hardly bother with the one inside.”

“Takes forever outside in this cold too.”

Jan only laughed as he placed another kiss on Matt’s lips. “Do you think I can warm you up within a reasonable time?”

“Hmmm…” Matt hummed thoughtfully, rather enjoying the kisses and now the surprisingly warm hands that were sneaking under his shirt. The way he palmed at his chest and teased his already hardened nipples was a definite yes in that Jan could warm him up anyway he wanted. His hot breath that tickled his skin as he nipped at his neck also didn’t help Matt’s brain form any cognitive words for a few moments to answer his question properly. “Fine… hey! My shirt is staying on!”

“Oh? I didn’t think you were that cold. What if you get overheated?”

Matthew only offered a scoff and sighed contently as Jan continued to tease and toy with him while, probably regrettably, obliging to his wish of keeping the old hockey jersey on. His kisses to his neck and whatever exposed skin that he could find were sweet and hot all at once. Matthew loved that about him, that his mouth could be almost anywhere on his body and could get him in just the right mood. His hands were worse though, trailing and moving across his body until eventually reaching the waistline of his pajama bottoms. He allowed him to remove them, only given that his legs were now wrapped tightly around him and he could feel every bit of the other’s warmth and need.

“What made you so turned on in the first place, hm? Washing all my underwear and sweaty socks just put you in the mood?”

Jan laughed quietly, a finger digging into the hollow of his hips. “Maybe just seeing you so needy… cheeks all pink and flustered in only a few good kisses… I still have all the charm of my younger days.”

Matt’s lower half was finally starting to feel warm. As Jan’s hand slowly circled around his growing need, Matt moaned against his neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin that he knew was there. The pair were soon quietly moaning, the small pleasures and teasing making their cheeks flush a light red and their breaths hot against each other. The subtle ways Jan moved his hand up and along his length made him crave so much more. Matthew regrettably pulled back, his long arm trying to reach the nightside drawer. He felt an eternity was spent trying to pull the drawer open, his mind foggy from Jan idly stroking his cock.

“Thanks for the help,” he panted, handing over the bottle with a shaking hand. “You think you can hurry up and... fuck me...”

Jan was tracing a thumb along the tip of his length, dipping under the skin to the more sensitive regions of the head he knew Matt always shuddered at. “You’re being extremely demanding and impatient.” Still, he took the bottle with his free hand and quickly went about coating his fingers in the scented lube. “I think I’ll draw this out since we’re doing this to simply kill time.”

“Mange-moi, salaud.”

Matt yelped at the pinch to his upper thigh as his boxers were slipped down his legs. The chill was back only for a moment because a hot mouth had taken his cock in before any cold could settle in. Matt moaned wantonly, a hand coming up to tangle in the sheets to feel like he was somewhat grounded. He cursed and was certain Jan could taste the precum that was already starting to leak out. Attention was lavished with his tongue and cheeks until Matthew was a whimpering and begging mess. He bent his knees up, his legs still wide open, pathetically pumping his hips up into the air as Jan pulled away. Matthew made a rather wretched, intoxicatingly erotic noise, and Jan pressed an affectionate kiss against his hip in apology. The whole time, the other’s fingers were idly teasing at Matthew’s entrance, only letting the very tips of them inside. No matter how much Matt would push down or squirm, he couldn’t win.

“Hurry, please,” he demanded, staring up at Jan. His cheeks were red, hair mused and glasses completely askew. 

Finally, there was a feeling akin to being filled. Two fingers were barely noticeable to him. The come here motion he so slowly made with his fingers made him wiggle his hips in eager anticipation. Three was better. Three was what Matthew found himself doing alone when imagining the other was fucking him. It still wasn’t enough. Good God, he needed so much more to feel truly warm.

When Matthew whispered in his ear how badly he needed him in raspy French, he knew the deep grunt that escaped Jan’s throat meant he was getting exactly what both of them wanted.

“Baise-moi.” Matt’s voice was low and desperate in a final plea to keep things moving, body trembling in need. 

With a quick adjustment of crawling out of blankets and Jan fumbling with his jeans, Matt was able to eye his very handsome prize. He pushed up against him completely, rubbing himself against him earnestly. The way his chest heaved with every hard breath, Matt knew he wanted this just as much as he did. The feeling of him sliding inside him and wrapping him in his arms was finally the blissful warmth he had been craving since he opened his eyes that morning. His hips rocked against him so smoothly, his movements gentle and loving as he got the proper feeling of him. Open mouth kisses were exchanged with hums of pleasure and delight between them. Matt’s hands tangled in his hair, tugging, even more, moans out of him. He increased his own pace, rocking harder against him and tempting him to follow his lead. The slow and lazy pace had been good to start with, but Matt so desperately wanted more of him.

Even though Jan complied and quickened his pace, a hand gripping on his hips to keep them moving together, Matt still found himself needing more. With his hands against his hardened chest, he pushed him back as a silent request for him to sit up more, with him following into his lap. Now with both his hands gripping his behind and moving him, Matt felt he was getting much more of his partner. Jan’s cock hit every bit of him and his powerful grip made him feel safer and warmer than before. His breaths were hard and echoed in his ear, his own name and multiple swear words in Dutch filling the empty space. Jan’s name escaped his own lips several times, phrases he never thought he’d utter came out along with them. Words that said how desperate he was for him to cum inside, how much he loved him, and other much more inappropriate names he could only say in French that seemed to make his grip on him stronger.

He felt Jan come first, his hot seed filling him up in the best of ways before sliding back down and outside whatever little space his cock couldn’t fill. His grip all around him was tight, just as he was around him as he found his own climax. His scent, his voice, his everything that filled his very being was so wonderful at that moment. He hung onto him, face in his chest as he slowly laid back against the bed so that they could catch their breath.

As they mumbled their loves you’s and thank you’s, the harsh beep of the washer echoed around the house and he felt Jan begin to slip out of him. Matt clung to him in a vice-like grip. “Don’t you dare... your next household chore is staying right here.”

“I’m certain the next chore is washing the bedsheets.” Jan ran a hand through the damp, blonde curls. “But I have the rest of the day to get to that.”

With soft kisses and fingers rubbing at the one pinched knot between his shoulders, Matt decided he was yet to be warmed up fully. He might need Jan to linger there for a while longer still.

#hws canada #hws netherlands #nedcan #ace writes #ns//fw #hetalia #i have no idea how to write jan sooooo #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[captaincravatthecapricious]

Things You Said When You Were Scared- Prompt Fill

Bit of an au after the worm attack. Jon is having a rough time.

CWs injury (canon typical worm related), paranoia, exhaustion. nausea, vomiting (it's not gross, I promise), pain, dizziness, fainting, medication mention, canon typical quarantine mention, food mention.

@janekfan @sukurarose92

Jon can’t remember the last time he felt this terrible.  There probably had been other times.  A few terrible flus over the years, and getting almost eaten by a spider once upon a time…. but time has a tendency to dull the particularly bad stuff, aside from say, flashbacks and nightmares.  But it’s the brain protecting itself.  You don’t remember the pain.  You don’t remember the fear.  You remember the memory of the pain, wrapped in spun-sugar-strands of time, growing dusty on a shelf.  You remember the taste of fear, the gripping anxiety of it.  You remember surges of it in the depths of the night and you panic… but you can’t remember it all the time.  That just isn’t how the brain works.  

Which is irrelevant.  All irrelevant, because the pain medication he’s been given is wearing off.  He thinks Sasha and Tim went off to do something….?  Probably panic together about the fresh worm trauma.  Martin?  Jon hasn’t the foggiest clue.  

Possibly because he’s hazy with pain and the last of the drugs that have been keeping him going this long.  Staggering into the walls as he tries to exit the institute.  Eyes closing involuntarily against the pain and the exhaustion.  Limbs feeling so alien between the bandages and the aching, weeping holes they hide beneath them.  Pounding dizziness down to his core.  

He aches.  

Phantom itching-crawling-squirming on his skin, through his muscles, down to the bone.  The actual holes chewed into him.  

He isn’t sure how he’s going to get to his flat.  He can’t stay in the Archives, not with the police in the tunnels and the ECDC still doing whatever it is they are doing.  But the thought of taking a cab or the tube make him want to tear his remaining skin off.  Makes him want to just lie down on the sidewalk.  

He even thinks making it to the front doors will end him.  

He’s dizzy and sick and his limbs won’t carry him.  

He has to sit down on the first step outside the door, sticking his head between his knees.  He can’t do this.  He can’t.  He’s just going to sit here all night, or risk passing out or throwing up or risking any other horror of the late twilight consuming him before he can collapse into unconsciousness in the comfort of his own bed.  

He waits for the world to stop spinning, and tries not to cry.  

Because he can’t have more pain medication until he eats something.  He can’t eat anything because it won’t stay in him, and even if it would, he can’t go anywhere.  He’s stuck.  Less than a five minute walk from his office where Gertrude DIED, from where he was attacked where he thought he’d be Safe, where he thought Martin would be safe.  A few paces from where the dead worms were pulled out of him and he was scoured raw and sterile in a hastily assembled quarantine on the sidewalk.  

He tries not to spiral into a panic attack right here.  

Trying to pull his breathing under control, because it isn’t helping his tenuous grasp on the directions of up and down.  

Where is the next danger going to come from?  

Is this when Mr. Spider will strike?  Letting him go until he’s weak and exposed and alone?  

Or is this where some unknown (or known) hostile comes in with a grand betrayal and a gun.  Leaving him to be another mystery, or a willfully ignored casualty of something he can’t begin to understand?  

“Jon?”  

Jon jumps.  And very, very much regrets it.  Heart racing, head spinning, a fresh hurt.  A fresh reminder of every opening in his flesh that doesn’t belong there.  “Ma… Martin?”  He asks around gasping and shuddering breaths.  “What …are you doing here?”  

His voice is a little distant, a little hallow.  “Don’t really have anywhere to do, do I?  You packed up my flat.  All in boxes at some storage unit.  Now, my bedroom is tangentially part of a crime scene.”

“…Right.”  It’s all his fault.  

He needs to sleep.  He needs some painkillers.  He might need to throw up, but that is an issue he plans to avoid, if at all possible.  Ditto to fainting.  Although that seems a little more inevitable.  

Martin makes no move to continue speaking.  “So… your plan was to just camp out on this bench?”  

Martin shrugs.  “Dunno.  Figured I might call Tim?  At some point?  Or try to sneak back into the Archives once the police leave?  Can’t really afford a hotel.   Maybe just sleep on this bench.  Try to decompress or something.  Jon.   Why are you still here?   Said you’d go home hours ago.”

Well he can’t exactly tell Martin he’d passed out in the break room for some indeterminate measure of time, then spent another eternity getting sick in the toilets.  And then possibly passed out again.  That’s not just something you tell Martin and expect him not to fuss over you.   And Jon tries to tell himself that that would be suffocating and not kind of welcome right now.   He tells himself that the thought of spending more time with Martin brings discomfort, and irritation, and fear.  It’s not like he can prove that Martin won’t kill him.  But he’s too tired to think about that.  He just wants to sleep.  

“....Um?”

Martin looks at him, probably for the first time.  “Jesus, Jon.  You look terrible.”

Jon hmmms in agreement.  Not like he can argue.  Martin’s too nice to comment on the bandages.  A little too tactful.  Right?  Martin’s bumbling and stupid, but he’s tactful.  He’s Nice.  As irritating as he can be, he’s just so Nice.  

But, it’s not like he can argue.  He’s covered in bandages and a clammy sweat and he’s halfway into a panic attack and he can’t really walk and he just wants to lay down right here until the world stops moving.  Both in the sense that he’s dizzy and in the sense that things beyond his comprehension are happening at a pace he can’t begin to catch up with.  

“Can I... call you a cab?   Or... or something?”   

Jon shakes his head as much as he dares, which isn’t much.  No cabs.  He gets carsick.  He doesn’t stand a chance.  

“Well you can’t just sit there all night.”  

“Right, like you plan to?”  

Martin looks away.  

And Jon goes back to trying not to pass out.  

“Tim lives close by, doesn’t he, I walk you there?  Or… um… carry you?”  Martin’s trying to be tactful.  Jon is pretty sure that is supposed to be a pointed look at his legs.  

Jon scowls.  (Not that Martin is wrong.  There is something very wrong with his knee.)  

“Can’t just …intrude like that.  I’m sure he doesn’t want me around.  Not professional…”

“Jon, you saw him in his pants today.  You were put in quarantine together.  I think you’re past all normal working relationship boundaries, even if he wasn’t your friend.  I can’t just leave you here, and you clearly aren’t planning to get yourself home.  Besides… maybe if he takes you in… maybe he’ll take me in, too.”  

Jon stares down at the sidewalk, drifting in lazy, nauseous, out of focus movements before his eyes.  “He doesn’t want me around.  Not after taking Sasha’s job.  Not after making him stay to get his statement.”  Jon whispers at the pavement.  

“Yeah like he’s still jealous for Sash, after that creepy worm lady went specifically for the “Archivist.”  Whatever the fuck that means.  And you know Tim was only pissed because he was in pain and tired, like you are now!”  

“I should just go home…”  

“Yeah, but you won’t.”  

Christ Martin’s stubborn.  

“Now.  Can you walk, or do I need to cary you?”  

Jon tries pull himself up to prove a point, but he comes to in Martin’s arms a few moments later, Martin loudly cursing at him.  He’s in too much pain to really hear what Martin is trying to say to him.  And he’s feeling even more sick.  And he wonders where his prescriptions and paramedic provided cane have gotten to, but he really doesn’t really care, because Martin is solid and warm and he’s so tired.  

He wakes up again on Tim’s couch.  Sick to his stomach from the oppressive oder of takeout.  

“Woah, boss.  Not on the couch.  I’ve got you.”

Throwing up nothing into the bin that’s been hastily shoved in front of him even though he’s got nothing in him anymore.  He sobs around dry heaves until it’s just the silence juddering sobs.  He Hurts.  

He wants to hide.  From Martin who is making tea, from Sasha running a bandaged hand through his hair.  From Tim supporting the bin, and Jon himself.  

He curls in on himself.  Wills himself into unconsciousness, but the injuries pulse with each uneven breath, stomach still roiling painfully.  He needs more medicine, but he can’t think about hoping to keep it down.  

He sobs against Tim, as the bin is pried away.  

“‘Hurts.  Tim ‘m scared.”  

Scooped up.  Held, gently.  

“Why didn’t you head home?  Why not go right away so you could get toast and water into you, and sleep until you could take some more meds?”  Tim holding him.  Martin awkwardly sat by his side with ginger tea.  Which Jon doesn’t care for, but Tim hasn’t kept mint tea since Jon stopped visiting.  Still… it should help.  Sasha clearing away the food smells, bless her.  “Why did you have to take our statements?  I would have invited you back here, if you didn’t?”

That last question doesn’t help.  

He doesn’t know he’s tearing at the bandages until Tim’s tugging his hands away, and Martin is bemoaning the splotches of blood now decorating the bandages that are quickly becoming sweaty and grimy.  Couldn’t even stay clean after he was scrubbed sterile.  Martin and Sasha and Tim are spotless and scoured.  

“I… I don’t want to disappear.  I… do-don’t want to be found in the tunnels.  I don’t want to vanish without a trace, I…“  He doesn’t even know.  He can’t breathe.  He’s lightheaded.  He Hurts.  

“Hey… hey hey.  It’s.. it’s okay to be scared.  Why don’t we get you cleaned up, okay?  Then see if we can get some saltines and tea into you so you can get some meds, eh?  Then we’re gonna all get some sleep.”  

“I don’t want to lose you…”  Jon’s voice swallowed by Tim scooping him up.  Martin hovering with the bin and Jon’s bag of medical supplies.  

Sasha’s back by then, brushing back Jon’s curls.  “And you won’t.  Sooner you leave, the sooner we can all get some sleep, alright?”  

Jon closes his eyes, and nods, letting Tim carry him to the washroom.  

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #timothy stoker #sahsa james #magnus pod #tma fic #cw injury #cw nausea #cw vomit #cw fainting #cw dizziness #cw medication #cw quarantine #my fic #my words #my art

[fruitcoops]

Hi hello I would love to know more about this tidbit from your oher fic? “Three months after we moved in together, Remus slept on the couch for a week because he hated the way I left toothpaste on the sink.” “I wasn’t even angry about the toothpaste.” Remus got up to refill Leo’s water glass. “I was scared we were moving too fast and that everything would fall apart.” pretty please with puppy dog eyes?

Anything for you, Beyonce! Hope you enjoy your trip on the angst train >:)

Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for couples arguments, self-isolation, mild anxiety

Day 1

“Oh my god, Sirius.” Remus shoved his toothbrush back in the holder more aggressively than he probably needed to. His hands were shaking, though whether it was from rage or something else, he wasn’t sure.

“What?”

“Really? Again?”

“What?” Sirius asked again. He had the nerve to sound truly bewildered and the bed creaked as he stood up. “What did I do?”

“You left the toothpaste uncapped and it’s all over the sink,” Remus sighed, running his hand down his face. It was too late to fight about this.

Sirius gave him a look. “Re, there’s literally one smudge.” He swiped it away with his thumb. “There. Better?”

“No, it’s not better. I told you I hate it when you do that.”

“Are you okay? You seem…upset.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” he snapped. Sirius recoiled at his tone and he bit back a second retort. “Look, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

“What—sweetheart—”

“Don’t call me sweetheart, okay?” Remus grabbed a fresh set of pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt out of the dresser. He couldn’t handle being surrounded by Sirius’ smell right now. “Just…not tonight.”

 Day Two

They ate breakfast silently. Every ping of Sirius’ spoon against his cereal bowl was like nails on a chalkboard as he choked down a slice of toast and all but chugged his coffee. “So…” Sirius started, looking up at him from under his eyelashes. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night?”

“Not really,” Remus muttered. “I’m going to run to Target and get some groceries.”

“In your pajamas?”

Remus went upstairs without a word. He slept on the living room couch again that night and tried desperately not to miss Sirius’ solid warmth next to him. This is good for you both, he repeated again and again and again. Space is good. Space is healthy.

Day Three

Sirius didn’t bring it up again, but he stole quick, worried glances that Remus caught in his periphery whenever they were in the same room together. There was a gentle knock on the living room doorframe and he poked his head in, offering Remus a grilled cheese sandwich that basically broke his heart. “I’m really sorry about the toothpaste,” he said softly when Remus didn’t respond. “Um, I made dinner, but you seemed busy. So. Here.”

“Thanks,” Remus managed. As soon as he heard the bedroom door close upstairs, silent tears began streaking down his face. The sandwich tasted like sawdust. “You need to breathe,” he reminded himself. “If you move too fast it’s going to fall apart. If you can’t exist apart then you won’t be healthy together.”

And yet somehow he was unhappier than he had been in more than three months, even when they were still living in the same house.

 Day Four

Remus ran errands. Hung out with Lily in the park. Made lunch and left a brief note next to the crock pot for Sirius to find when he was done working out. Love you, it read. Simple. Normal. Healthy.

His back was beginning to cramp from the too-small couch. His feet were cold every night. Lily’s silent concern played over and over again in his head as he drifted into a fitful sleep.

 Day Five

It was getting easier to create distance with Sirius despite the fact that they shared most spaces. He offered quick smiles when they passed each other in the hallway, chaste kisses whenever he left the house, and even scooted over to make room for him on the couch when the Avatar reruns started on Nickelodeon.

“Remus, are you mad at me?” Sirius asked after a period of suffocating silence. Hearing him say his name was strange—his accent curled around it in an unfamiliar way, like he was making a conscious effort not to slip up. Remus squeezed his eyes shut. It was agonizing to be so close to him and yet so far away. They always cuddled on the couch.

“No,” Remus said in a small voice. “No, I’m not mad at you.”

“Is this…are you breaking up with me?” From the soft huff of air that came after it, Remus knew he had been sitting on this for a long time.

“What? No!” He turned, making eye contact for the first time in days. It was brutal and made him feel raw. “No, I love you.”

Sirius’ shoulders folded in slightly and he fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “Are you coming back to bed soon?”

“I—I don’t know,” Remus forced himself to say. I love you! He wanted to scream. I love you so much it’s scaring me. I miss everything about you, even the toothpaste smudges on the sink and the way you look at me when you find more of my socks scattered around. I miss holding you and racing shopping carts in Target with you. I miss your laugh and your smile and just being near you. “Probably. I’m not sure. I’m sorry.”

“Take your time.” The words sounded like they pained him. “Take all the time you need.”

“This isn’t payback,” Remus said. “Sirius, this is not payback for the time we spent hiding, okay?”

Sirius gave him an astonished look. “How did you…?”

“Because I know you.” He was miserable. So fucking miserable. “I know you, Sirius, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

One question hung unspoken between them. Then why are you staying away?

 Day Six

Sirius was gone when he woke up, but a sticky note in his careful handwriting rested on the end table near Remus’ face. He frowned as he sat up—he been too drained to deal with tangled blankets when he went to sleep, but sometime in the night they had been smoothed all the way up to his shoulder and a second one had been added to cover his feet. Remus shoved down the urge to burst into tears and grabbed the note to distract himself.

Remus, it began. Ouch.

Pots and I are taking Harry to the park today, I’ll be back around six. Lily said she wanted to talk with you at some point so keep an eye out for her calls. Thanks for picking up extra pasta at the store.

Love you,

Sirius

He smoothed his thumb over the note, feeling each bump and curl of Sirius’ pencil because his vision was too blurry to make out the words a second, third, fourth time. “This is bullshit,” he said to himself. “This is bullshit!”

When the slight echo of his shout faded out, he set it back on the table and curled up, drawing both blankets tight around himself. “Why am I doing this?”

1.      You had sex before you went on a real date

2.      You went through a traumatic event and are still working through it

3.      You’re so fucking scared of how much you love him

4.      You want to spend forever with him because he’s your best friend, too

5.      Normal couples date for at least a year before moving in together

6.      Normal couples—

“Fuck it.” He shook his head to clear the anxiety list from his brain. He had been reciting it to himself for days as some sort of convoluted justification. “Fuck it. I love him and this is bad for both of us. So what if we’re not a normal couple? What the hell is a normal couple? We’re never going to be normal and I love him, I love him, I…”

The low sobs that resonated in his chest burned in the best way. His breathing was even, but he just couldn’t repress this anymore. “I’m a coward,” he sniffled, sliding further under the heavy blankets. His pajamas only smelled like laundry detergent and regret. “And an idiot.”

The phone rang and he picked it up. “Hey, Lils.”

“Well, you sound like a wreck.”

“I know.”

“What’s going on, Re?”

“I’m an idiot.”

“And?”

“And I’m in love with him.”

“And?”

“I’m done self-flagellating to try and fit the societal standards of a healthy relationship based on heterosexuality.”

“There’s my Remus,” she said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Are you okay? I was worried about you.”

“Better now. I’ll fix this when Sirius gets home.”

“Good. You’re both suffering from this.”

 Day Seven

When Remus woke up, it was pitch-black outside. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered to the ceiling, scrubbing at his itchy eyes. The wall clock read 12:06. After another thirty minutes of crying, he had cleaned the whole house top to bottom, went for a run, and then apparently passed out on the couch for five hours.

Fix this. In any other circumstance, Remus would have spent at least an hour fretting over every tiny detail. But this was Sirius. This was about owning the fact that he was happiest with Sirius and that he had unintentionally hurt him by trying to create distance that they didn’t actually need.

With a heavy sigh, he dragged himself up the stairs and knocked softly on the bedroom door. There was a moment of silence, then a sleepy voice. “Re?”

“Hey, baby. Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius hadn’t bothered turning on the light, so the room was dark as he slipped in and closed the door behind him. Sudden nervousness washed through him. “I’m sorry.”

There was a rustle as Sirius sat up. “Why did you do that?”

“I thought—” His mouth was so dry. “It’s so stupid.”

“Please tell me.”

“I thought we needed space. I didn’t want space, you didn’t want space, but I was afraid we were moving too fast and that we’d suddenly wake up one morning and hate each other. That everything would crumble because we rushed into everything.”

“Hmmm.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“After day three, yeah. And then I was just worried. You seemed really unhappy and I didn’t know why.” Sirius paused. “Um, I called your mom.”

“What? When?”

“Friday morning. That was what, day…four? I heard you crying downstairs and I was afraid someone had died or something.” His voice wobbled. “She was worried, too, but she said you might just need to work through it.”

“I’m so sorry, Sirius.”

“I know.”

“Can I…?”

“C’mere.” Sirius reached over and lifted the edge of the covers up on Remus’ side—as far as he could tell, they had been left tucked in the whole time. “I love you,” he murmured as Remus curled up.

“I love you so much.” He carefully reached out and brushed their hands together, and Sirius wrapped an arm around him to pull him close. “So much, you have no idea. That was the worst week.”

Sirius’ heartbeat was steady as Remus kissed the top of his head and melted into his warmth. “I capped the toothpaste in the bathroom.”

When Remus laughed, it was a little teary. “I say this with all the love in the world, Sirius, but I couldn’t care less about the goddamn toothpaste. I care about you.”

His hold tightened and Remus squeezed his eyes shut. I know, it said. I’ve got you. I love you. You can stay.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Belphie “Why do I have to be strong all the time?”

Here you go my dear, just for you. 😘

Strong

Belphegor x gn!MC

Words - 1406

Content warnings - some angst, lots of comfort and cuddles, platonic relationship

Prompt/inspiration - anon request

Summary - You slip away to the attic room for a quiet moment to yourself when Belphie comes to check on you.

AO3

Up in the privacy of the attic room, you burrowed into the nest of blankets and plush pillows Belphie had amassed. What had once been a place full only of bad memories, had now become your little personal oasis when everything else simply felt like too much.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love the brothers, you did - probably much more than you should. But there was only so much you could take before your well of energy would run dry. You wanted to help them, all of them, but the truth was, you had reached your limit long ago and simply had nothing left to give.

Part of you knew that you could reach out to any of them and they would have supported you, comforting you for once instead of the other way around. But a much larger part of you feared their rejection. That once they knew you weren’t useful, you wouldn’t be welcomed anymore. That maybe you misunderstood all the acts of friendship, and you really weren’t all that important to them.

So you put on a happy face, determined to be the one they could rely on - because at least then you felt safe, needed. And then whenever you could, you’d simply sneak away for a good cry, doing what you could to recharge your batteries on your own.

Today though, today was different. Today, no matter what you did, the tears just wouldn’t stop. You felt so tired, exhausted even, yet you couldn’t sleep. You were lucky that you had managed to slip away undetected after dinner, because there was no possible way you would be able to keep up your facade in your current state.

You didn’t notice however, when Belphie had opened the door to the attic room, having followed the sounds of your muffled sobs. Just by chance, he had been walking by the stairwell that led here when he had heard you. He didn’t need to be told who it was or even why you were there. He knew, or at least he had a very good idea. You had been going up there for weeks now, and he had always taken care to give you your space. But this time something compelled him to check on you.

“Hey,” he said, standing in the doorway.

You jumped in surprise, choking back the sobs that were still wracking your body. Maybe if you just pretended to be asleep then he’d let you alone?

“I know you’re not sleeping.”

Oh. Right. He was the Avatar of Sloth. Of course he’d be able to tell if you weren’t sleeping.

“What do you want?” you mumbled, pulling the blankets up around your neck, trying to hide as much of your face as possible.

“I thought I’d take a nap, but it looks like my bed is taken.”

“Oh, sorry, I can…” you said, frantically trying to get up.

“It’s ok, I’ll just nap with you,” he announced, as he climbed into bed, spooning you from behind, preventing your escape, “This is a lot better than sleeping alone anyways.”

“Oh.”

“So, what are you doing up here?” he asked, nuzzling into your neck as he pulled you closer and settled in behind you, getting comfortable.

“It’s um...just quiet you know? And I like the bed…”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, “I thought it was because you were crying and didn’t want anyone to hear.”

You stiffened. He had heard you. How were you supposed to respond to that? Admit to crying and just downplay the severity? Perhaps giving him some partial truth as an excuse so he wouldn’t suspect anything? Or should you just deny having any idea what he was talking about altogether?

“I...ummm…”

“Don’t try to lie to me. This isn’t the first time you’ve come up here.”

“Uhh….” you were panicking now, your heart hammering within your chest. Was he mad at you for using the attic so often? Was he disappointed in you for coming up here to cry? You didn’t know what to think. And only worse case scenarios swirled around in your head.

“Hey, what are you getting so worked up for?” he asked, having felt the change in your breathing - now rapid and shallow. He propped himself up on his elbow, trying to get a better look at you. When you didn’t respond, he gently turned you over so that you were laying on your back.

You didn’t acknowledge him right away, scarcely able to even register the fact your position had changed. So he reached out and tenderly cupped your cheek, caressing it with his thumb and turned your head until you were making eye contact with him. After blinking a few times, your brain finally seemed to process the fact that you were now staring at Belphie, and decided now was as good a time as any to unleash the flood of tears you had been holding back since he had opened the door.

Without a word, he wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you to his chest. Your arms somehow found their way around his waist, and you clung to him desperately. Laying down, Belphie brought you even closer as he started rubbing soothing circles on your back, gently shushing you and occasionally pressing kisses to your forehead while you continued to sob.

When your tears had finally run dry, after what felt like hours, you attempted to sit up and separate yourself from Belphegor. But he was having none of it, and only tightened his grip around you, holding you in place. Your body relaxed against his, realizing that trying to get up was an exercise in futility. He hadn’t said anything yet, but you could tell he wasn’t going to let you go until you explained.

“...I’m sorry…”

“For?”

“...using the attic without asking. This is your space so I…”

“You can always come up here. It’s your space too. You don’t need to apologize for that,” he said, cutting you off before asking, “But why were you up here tonight?”

“...why do I have to be the strong one all the time…?” The words escaped your lips in a hushed whisper. You hadn’t meant to say them out loud, but before you could panic, Belphie asked you another question.

“What do you mean?”

You hesitated, did he really want to know?

“...I...I don’t know...I’m...I care about you guys so much. And I always want to be there for you...but...I’m scared…”

“Scared?”

“That if I’m not...helpful...that you won’t want me around anymore. That’ll I be...that I’ll be just a burden...who would want to be there for me…?”

“...why would you think we wouldn’t be there for you?” he asked, hugging you tighter to his chest. Belphie thought back on all your interactions up until this point and couldn’t pick out a single indication that his brothers any less than adored you. He’d even go so far as to call them obsessed, himself included, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt they’d all jump at the chance to have the opportunity to return even a fraction of the love and kindness you had shown them.

“Life experience, I guess?” you said with a self deprecating laugh.

“Then I guess we just have to change that. Look, I know my brothers would all do anything they could for you, but no matter what, you can come to me. Even if it’s just to hold you like this and sleep together. Just...don’t cry alone anymore, okay?” Belphie pressed another kiss to your forehead before resting his head against yours. You had done so much for him, he’d spend the rest of his life thanking you if he could. And if you needed to talk, or even just needed to cuddle, he wanted to be the one there for you.

You snuggled closer to Belphegor, wrapping your arm firmly around his waist. You wanted to believe him. If what he said was true, nothing could make you happier. Still, doubt and anxiety clawed at your heart, picking at old wounds that had never fully healed. But when you felt Belphie give you a reassuring squeeze, you were reminded of the fact that he was with you right now. So even if he was wrong about his brothers, you at least had him. And that made all the difference in the world.

#200 followers #anon request #request #gn!mc #platonic belphie #platonic relationships #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me belphie #belphie x mc #belphie fanfic #belphie angst #obey me angst #obey me fanfic

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I’m big sad this week can I please get some kakairu fic or HC I don’t care I just wanna talk haha but it’s kakashi falling in love with iruka because he’s just so thoughtful to kakashi specifically. Say, kakashi is always late because he’s got to eat and sleep and water his plant and feed the strays behind his complex and he’s (chakra) exhausted the works.

No one ever notices (besides gai ofc but they’ve been friends forever) but then he meets and becomes friends with iruka. And iruka notices. Iruka will take a subpar report from kakashi after hard missions and just give him a Pat on the shoulder and a smile, he will drop by with extra bentos to keep in the fridge and take off without a second thought since he was dropping off bentos (that he bought we know that man can’t cook) at narutos anyway. Gets kakashi a water globe for his plant so he doesn’t have to worry about him on missions.

But the thing that really does it for kakashi the holy shit I might love this man moment is when kakashi is dragging himself home after a super hard mission that went over by weeks and he goes to feed the strays behind the complex and finds iruka feeding them hunched over in this dirty dark alley feeding dogs what looks like his dinner for the night shift and.. is that the new icha icha from the release he missed in his hands?? Iruka got it for him since he was gone and knew how much kakashi likes them and that’s it kakashi is in love now thank you

//here’s to a hopefully more enjoyable, relaxed week coming up :)

AO3

It wasn’t unheard of for a mission to go on longer than it had been planned. Things happened, changes had to be made to the attack plan, sometimes the team. There were a variety of reason’s for a missions to take an extra few hours, or a day or two more.

But a week?

Only the worst missions went overtime by a week.

The one’s where the information was poor, or sometimes even completely wrong. Where the mission lead had to stop and fix up the plan in one or two areas, but had to start completely from scratch.

And just his luck, he had been the mission lead. The poor bastard who had to rethink the mission from scratch when it turned out that they had been lied to by the person who had come to them wanting ‘help’.

What they really wanted, apparently, was a chance to present some unsuspecting leaf shinobi to Some IWA shinobi in waiting.

Luckily for them, Kakashi was quick to realize that things were out of place and even quicker to come up with a new plan. One that only needed him and Gai, and an extra week of waiting time.

It worked in the end. Of course it did.

After waiting for the enemy to finally let their guards down, Kakashi and Gai were able to make their way into the camp they had made for themselves and get the scroll they had been sent for. One they had thought was just used as a trick to get them there, but found out through some careful spying on Kakashi’s part did actually exist.

Now they were home.

Aching and tired, but home.

Seeing Gai off, Kakashi headed straight for the little ally behind the apartments he lived in. Nothing called out to him quite like a nice shower, and a long nap in bed, but he had to check up on the strays before then.

Poor things hadn’t seen him all week, and he’s certain there’s no one else who feeds them. Most of the other jonin simply pick a favorite and take them into their apartment, or leave food out for them on the window ledge.

Kakashi took care of the rest of them.

“Here we go,” hearing a familiar voice, Kakashi stopped just before the entrance into the alleyway, unsure why exactly his heart was beating so fast now. “Eat up. You’ll get to see your favorite tomorrow. He just had a long mission and he needs some rest. But I have no doubt he’ll be here to see you as soon as he can.”

Peering around the side of the wall, Kakashi felt a warmth spreading in his chest when he saw Iruka. Sweet, kind Iruka. Kneeling down and pouring dry food into the bowls Kakashi had set out months ago.

"He does a lot for this village, you know," Iruka continued, and Kakashi couldn't help but linger and listen. "One of Konoha's top Jonin, so he's always going on missions to protect the village, gather information, help people out. There's a lot for him to do."

Leaning his shoulder against the wall, Kakashi smiled to himself.

For a few months now Iruka had been helping him out. Noticing little things about him and providing information or objects to make his life just a little bit easier.

A water bulb for Mr. Ukki so he didn't have to worry about going on missions and killing his only plant.

Bento boxes that he promised he bought from a store when he noticed Kakashi hadn't eaten that day. Not because he couldn't cook for himself, but because sometimes life just got too busy. There was soo much to do that often he'd find himself forgetting to feed himself while he tried to finish mission reports, or plan out training exercises for his students.

Kakashi hadn't thought about it much then. Simply thanking Iruka and moving on with his life.

But now, standing here listening to Iruka gush about him to the strays while he fed them in Kakashi's absence. Kakashi can't help but feel something deep inside of his chest.

Something he can't quite explain. It's warm and fuzzy, and it makes his heart skip a beat whenever Iruka continues talking, but he doesn't have a word for it. It's not something he has ever felt before.

"So be nice to him, hmmm?" Iruka continued, chuckling when one of the dogs barked. "I know he has to be gone a lot, but I'll take care of you when he's out of the village. I promise."

Poking his head around the corner, Kakashi chuckled when the dogs saw him and immidiatly started to bark, forgoing their food to run over to him instead for pets.

"K-kakashi," Iruka stood up, clearly caught off guard by Kakashi's sudden appearance. "I...how long were you standing there?"

"Mmmm, long enough I think," Kneeling down, he started to pet each of the dogs while keeping his eyes on Iruka. "I didn't know you made a habit of looking after Jonin's life responsibilities while they were gone, Iruka-sensei."

"I-" It was sort of cute seeing Iruka all flustered. with wide bright eyes and fingers that wouldn't stop pulling at his uniform sleeve. "I don't usually..."

"Well, I need some rest," Giving the dogs one more head pat he stood up and smiled. A warm, soft smile hidden under his mask. "But, since you've done so much for me I should pay you back."

"Oh, no you don't have to," Iruka waved his hands in front of himself franticly. "I was just- i wanted to make sure-"

"How about dinner?" Kakashi had a calm look on his face, and his voice was as bored sounding as ever. To an untrained eye, he likely looked like he was simply inviting a friend to go out.

Internally, though, he was freaking out.

His heart was hammering in his chest, going so fast that it actually sort of hurt. His stomach was a mess of knots and butterfly's, and his brain was going five hundred miles a minute. Thinking up all the ways Iruka could reject him, and screaming at himself for even making the offer like a love sick idiot.

Love.

That was the word he had been looking for earlier.

Minato-sensei had described the feeling to him years ago. When he was younger and confused about the way Obito acted around Rin, or why Rin was always trying to get close to him.

He was in love, and out of everyone his heart could have chosen, it went with Umino Iruka.

"That sounds nice, actually," Iruka whispered, glancing down at the ground while running a hand awkwardly through his hair. "Umm, where would you like to..."

"I'll make it," he smiled, now determined to make the best first impression. "My apartment, tomorrow evening. And don't worry about the dogs, i'll make sure to feed them before dinner."

He doesn't wait for a response. Disappearing into a whirlwind of dust he make's his escape. Desperate to get back to his apartment and collapse onto his bed and scream into his pillow like a twelve year old whos crush just called them 'cute'.

#KakaIru #I hope this makes you feel a little better :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Alrighty so I'm gonna go out on a limb and request Overstimulation fics. As in sensual not sexual because with the holidays coming up I wanna read about the boys curbing meltdowns from Too Much™ so I can feel better about my moments

Hey Lovely!

AHHHHHH hmmm. I’d like to read some too... I did a search of my TO READ list and here’s what I found that might work? Feel free to add your own, Lovelies!! I have to add a new tag to my fics as I reread them now, LOL

OVERSTIMULATION / SENSORY ISSUES (TO READ)

The Doctor's Reward by CarmillaCarmine (E, 3,124 w., 2 Ch. || Quarantine / Self-Isolation, Doctor John, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Prostate Massage, Overstimulation, Autofellatio, Come Swallowing, Masturbation) – Sherlock decides that John needs a reward after a day of working from home. Part 11 of the The Johnlock Utopia (Holidays and Celebrations) Series

To Show You a Night by songlin (E, 3,731 w. || Sensory Deprivation, Blindfolds, Anal, Dirty Talk, Forced Orgasm) – Sherlock's never had an orgasm before. John crafts a solution. "I forgot how badly I wanted to fuck your mind.”

The Catherine Wheel by Ghislainem70 (M, 3,762 w., 1 Ch. || Sensory!Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, PWP, Romance) – A Johnlock first time. Sherlock has sensory sensitivity. Can Doctor John Watson help?

Isolation by Nova-chan (T, 9,281 w., 11 Ch. || Drama, Angst) – Sherlock in a sensory deprivation tank.

Crimson Hymns by brilliantlyburning (E, 48,982 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S3/TAB, Angst,  Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction, Unhealthy Coping Methods, Demisexual Sherlock, Boxing, Pining, Sensory Processing Issues, Drug Use, First Kiss / Time, BDSM, Mary is Not Good, Parentlock, Proposal, Happy Ending, Beekeeping, Violence, References to Addiction, Poetry) – He laid his head over John’s heart, eyes level with his silver-rough scar, and listened to the crimson hymns beating beneath the surface. He imagined flowers blooming in his own chest: veins weaving intricate patterns on petals of thin muscle engorged with blood, sinew for stems and tendons for roots—the flowers would be poppies, maybe (addictive) or foxglove (deadly yet useful)—twining gleaming blood-red around the porcelain bone of his ribs. In his mind’s eye the gruesome bouquet all tied together on the left side of his chest, the stems bound together in heartstrings and the flowers fed by the rhythmic contraction of ventricles. It’s yours, he imagined saying to John—from the vena cava to the mitral valve to the arteries it is yours.— Or, the Love Song of W. Sherlock S. Holmes.

In Absentia by SeaweedWrites (T, 79,273 w., 39 Ch. || TRF Divergence, Major Character Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Realism, Car Accident, Traumatic Brain Injury, Hospital, Sherlock in a Coma, Physical/Psychological Rehab, Sensory Issues, Heavy Angst, Drama, Sherlock Whump, Biog Brother Mycroft, Depression, Nightmares, Panic Attacks) – Sherlock sends John a mysterious text. While John waits for Sherlock to come back to 221B to explain, Sherlock is involved in a terrible car crash, and everyone's lives are irrecoverably changed. Will Sherlock survive? And the bigger question for John- If he does survive, will he ever be the same? Part 1 of the In Absentia Fics and Information

Sensory Science by sussexbound (E, 80,017 w., 24 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, ASMR, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, John’s PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety, Friends to Lovers, Drinking Problems, Nightmares, Depression, Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Prostate Massage/Orgasm, Phone Sex, Frottage, Coming Untouched, BJ’s, Rimming) – John Watson has been invalided home from Afghanistan and is struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia, when an old friend from med school recommends something that might help: An ASMR YouTube Channel run by a friend. One session in and John is hooked, not only by the way the ASMR seems to calm him after nightmares, and help him sleep, but also by the mysterious man who runs it.

Periodic Tales Series by 7PercentSolution (T/NR, 253,510+ w. across 18 works | Series WiP || Autistic Sherlock, Sensory Processing Disorder, Case Fics, Chemistry, Kidlock, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Health Issues) – Lots of science, lots of case fic! This is Sherlock as chemist, using the periodic table of elements for many different reasons. Each story is centred around one particular element, in two parts. One focuses on aspects of Sherlock's childhood and events in his life; the other part shows how that has influenced his abilities as the world's only consulting detective, demonstrated through a case fic that shows off his deducing skills. The stories are not long (1-5 parts in length) and are in more or less chronological order in terms of Sherlock's life.

Unwind Series by illwick (E, 697,027+ w. across 33 fics || Light BDSM / Power Dynamics, Dom!John/Sub!Sherlock, Switchlock, Hair-Pulling, Snsory Deprivation, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Handcuffs, Overstimulation, Forced Orgasm, Prostate Milking / Massage, Rough Sex, Biting, Food Sex, Consensual Kink, Sex on Everything, Chair Bondage, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Oral/Anal, Fingering, Sex Toys, Captain John, Establish Relationship, Bratty Sherlock, Greedy Sherlock, Military Kink, Uniform Kink, Gunplay, Roleplay, Shower Sex, Oral Fixation, Praise Kink, Dry Humping, Facials, Dog Tags, Edgeplay, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Threesomes, Homophobia, Size Kink, Past Relationships, Past Drug Use, Double Penetration, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Panties) –  John and Sherlock unwind after a case.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #overstimulation fics #sensory fics #to read #my fic recs #thatonetransmasc

[athenasbloodyspear]

Say Something to Stop Me: Chapter Two

Writing Master List | Say Something to Stop Me Master List

Please note: This fic describes depression, anxiety, panic attacks, past/referenced non con and domestic violence. Please read at your own discretion.

________________________

You wake to a slight pounding in your skull right between your eyes and an extremely dry mouth. You groan and flop onto your back, squinting at the bright light streaming through the window. Rolling to glance at the clock on your nightstand you discover that it is 6:30 in the morning. It makes sense, you estimate you fell asleep somewhere around 7:30 last night.

You suddenly shoot straight up in bed, your heart pounding. Oh my god. Bucky. He carried you here last night. You’re still wearing your jeans and t-shirt from the night before. There’s a glass of water and two small white pills on your nightstand and your shoes are laying right next to the bed. He must have put you to bed. You don’t remember anything after he picked you up.

You flop back against the pillows and stare at the ceiling above your bed, watching the early morning light flicker. A small smile fights its way to your lips. You couldn’t stop the growing grin if you tried. Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes himself carried you to bed last night and for some reason your heart is leaping around in your chest. You can almost feel it bouncing around in your rib cage. What the hell is wrong with you?

You put both hands over your face and let yourself giggle for a moment. You feel like a teenager who just spoke to her crush for the first time. Your fingers are a little tingly and you feel like there are butterflies making a nest in your abdomen. After a few moments of this you suddenly decide you have to get your shit together and go thank him.

Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and standing up proved to be more painful to your brain than you expected. You had to promptly sit back down on your mattress as your head spun and your vision began to tunnel. You hated hangovers. They made you feel so dizzy and weak. You attempted standing again, slower this time, and took a second to orient yourself to your now vertical stance.

You were… giddy. It felt strange to be fully present in your body and feeling something beyond apathy, but it was also the most relieving feeling. You gave another small smile to yourself. You felt more like yourself than you had in months. Immediately upon realizing that, you heard a voice in your head start whispering things to you.

Don’t spend any time being happy. You’re an embarrassment. If he knew who you really are lately he wouldn’t waste any time on you.

Oof. Just like that all the wind left your sails. You could feel your shoulders curve instinctively. The voice in your head was technically right. Bucky would be so embarrassed and disappointed in you. He’d never look at you the same. None of them would. They respect you for your strength and resilience, and if they knew what happened they wouldn’t see you as strong anymore. You’re not the person who you thought you were. Everything about your personality that you loved had shattered into pieces about seven months ago and you didn’t even know what to do about it.

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. There had been a moment just now. A brief wonderful moment that you saw clarity. That you felt like the person you used to be. It had been months in a row of feeling like your head was stuck under water. The world felt blurry, the sounds around you were muffled. You felt like your lungs weren’t really getting the oxygen you needed. But for a moment this morning, with the sunrise reflecting off the metal beams of the ceiling, your head had crested the surface. You had taken a huge breath of air and felt the sun on your skin for the first time in such a long time.

How did it slip from you so quickly? You were sinking under again, but instead of the drifting feeling you’d had, it suddenly felt like every muscle in your body was kicking toward the surface. You didn’t want to drown anymore. You wanted to feel the sun on your hair and the breeze across the back of your neck. You wanted to run and run and run and actually feel the oxygen in your lungs.

It suddenly felt very dire that you move. That you didn’t stand here with your eyes closed in limbo. You had to move, go somewhere, do something, talk to someone or you’d fall deeper. You shoved your feet into your sneakers and stumbled out the door with no real direction in mind.

I suppose I could just go thank Bucky. That’s a good starting point.

You whip your feet to the right and head farther down the hall toward Bucky’s room. Once you approach his door and knock you have a moment of silence to organize your swirling thoughts.

What are you going to say to him? Thank you I guess. Oh god you were still in your clothes from last night and you’re positive that your breath is probably so rank it would kill flies. You swallow hard and take a reflexive step back from the door. If you’re farther away, he might not be able to smell you. You try to take a surreptitious sniff of your armpit and you actually don’t smell quite as bad as you expected, but you still don’t exactly smell as fresh as a daisy.

Your head is spinning, but he’s not coming to the door. It’s at this moment that you realize that it is in fact only 6:30 in the morning and it’s entirely possible that everyone stayed up much later than 7:00 last night and could still be sleeping. You slap a hand to your forehead. God you’re so spacey lately.

You whip around to head back to your room when Friday speaks into the hallway above you.

“Agent Barnes is not home, Y/N. Agents Barnes, Wilson and Parker left around 6:00 this morning on a short reconnaissance mission. They should be home this evening. Bucky did peek his head in your door this morning before they left. You woke shortly after.”

Ah. Okay then. So the two people you were thinking of trying to talk to this morning are gone. In fact, the person who probably would have been third on the list of doors to knock on is gone too. Shit. You still felt restless, like if you didn’t keep treading water you’d drown. Absentmindedly bouncing on the balls of your feet you chewed on a thumb nail. Friday spoke again.

“Natasha is downstairs in the kitchen making coffee. Just so you know.”

You look up at the ceiling. How did Friday know you needed to talk to someone? Was Tony watching and wanted you to talk to Nat? Did Nat ask Friday to tell you? Did you care?

“Thanks Friday.” You say to the ceiling. You spin and begin your walk to the elevators.

“Anytime.”

~0~

Nat was indeed making coffee in the kitchen. She looked up when you stepped in and smiled.

“Morning Y/N. How’s that head?”

You chuckled at that and shook your head, wincing a little as your brain sloshed around in your head. “It’s… a little painful I won’t lie.”

“Sit. Coffee, water, tylenol and a really messy egg sandwich will help.”

“Thank you, Nat.”

She turned and started the coffee machine before walking to the fridge to grab you a glass of water. You leaned over the counter and placed your forehead in your hands. Suddenly two tiny little pills and a glass of water were pushed into your field of vision. You lifted your head and saw Nat walking over to the stove with some butter, eggs, cheese and bread in hand.

“Thanks.” You swallow both pills and then spend the next few minutes just slowly trying to get as much water down as you can. When your glass is empty you stand up to refill when suddenly an egg sandwich is set down in front of you.

“Sit and eat. I’ll refill for you. Milk in your coffee?”

“Just a splash. Thank you, again.”

Nat smiles. “You’re welcome.” She returns with your coffee and fresh water in hand. As you dig into your sandwich she leans her back against the kitchen island across from you.

“So. It sounds like James had to carry your ass to bed last night. What’s up with that?” Nat tosses casually over her shoulder. There’s something in her voice that you can’t quite pick up on. There’s a subtext you’re missing.

“Um. I was drunk. On accident. I think I was just dehydrated and didn’t eat dinner. I almost fell on my ass so he uh… carried me.” You keep your eyes on your egg sandwich, your cheeks felt like they were on fire with your blush.

“Hm. I don’t remember you being such a lightweight. If I remember correctly, when we were in Vienna you nearly drank Thor under the table.” Nat quips.

You huff a laugh. You nearly had. God you missed that big hulking brute. You really hoped things were okay in Asgard. “Yeah… I just am out of practice I guess.” you say through a mouthful of eggs.

“I suppose that’s not the worst thing to be out of practice with.” Nat says, turning toward you fully this time. She’s looking at you like she asked you a question even though she definitely did not.

“I suppose” you mutter back. You hadn’t felt anxious since walking in the kitchen, but now theres a small seed of panic in your gut. You shift a little in your seat, shoving the last bite of egg sandwich in your mouth. She’s giving you her Black Widow interrogation stare and you don’t like it.

She breaks the silence. “You’re kinda also out of the ‘talking to your family’ practice.” The last bite of egg sandwich gets lodged in your esophagus. You choke and start hacking a cough as you try to force the suddenly very dry bits of bread down your throat. Nat just leans her elbows on the counter and lifts one eyebrow at you. “What’s up with that?”

“Oh. Um.” You’re sputtering as you try to get air back down your throat. “Uh. It’s nothing personal. Just kinda… don’t feel like talking.”

“Hmmm.” Nat hums as she leans back. She slaps her palms against the countertop. “Well, you better muster up the strength because Tony has a therapist scheduled to start coming here every other week. No ifs, ands or buts. You’re going to spend an hour every two weeks with her whether you ‘feel like it’ or not. Got it?” She turns to go.

“Yes ma’am.” You mutter.

“I thought I told you never to call me that again.” Nat tosses over her shoulder as she picks up her coffee and starts to exit the kitchen.

“It’s a reflex, Nat. It’s hard not to when someone talks to me like a commanding officer.”

She pushes her hips against the door to open it and rolls her eyes at you. “Whatever. She’ll be here at three tomorrow. You can meet her in the conference room. If you’d rather not be around with prying eyes it sounds like it’s gonna be sunny tomorrow. Maybe you could sit by the lake.” With that she leaves.

“Okay.” You say out loud to the empty room.

~0~

Even though your moment with Nat was brief this morning, and rather scathing, you still feel better than you did standing in the middle of your room this morning. You’re not quite on dry land, but you feel your nose and mouth are at least above water and you’re breathing more deeply.

You spend sometime in the gym. You go back to boxing and lifting some weights. You figure that part of Tony’s forced therapy is that he cares about you, and also probably that they need you back on the field. It’s rare that they send Peter on recon missions as they don’t like to pull him out of school if they can help it, so Steve and Tony must be a little short handed at the moment. You should probably start getting back into field shape. Although, with how much running you’ve been doing you could probably hold your own out there.

After working out and showering you decide to wander around the outside of the complex. Nat was right, the weather is pretty pleasant right now so you might as well get some fresh air.

You think about your impending date with a therapist tomorrow. You feel a small twinge of shame twist in your chest when you think of it. Steve and Tony are so busy all the time, and yet you let your own stupid emotions and inability to cope make them worried. They had to take care of you, again. It’s exactly the kind of self hatred spiral that you’d been sucked into lately.  

This was all just so unlike you. It was so antithetical to everything that you held as your core personality traits. The reason that Tony and Steve had hand picked you to be the one that got the final dose of super serum they had uncovered is because you were resilient. Time and time again, mission after mission you had kept a cool head. Rolled with the punches. You’d been knocked down, beaten, stabbed and shot and still stood back up and jumped back into the next mission they’d offer. Sometimes even begging to be sent out before you got your medical clearance.

You’d gotten along with the team instantly. Even back when you were just a basic agent running their com links. You’d been trying to coordinate a million different channels and Sam had made some sarcastic comment about how the new kid was causing interference on the channels. You’d been trying to juggle so many things at once that you hadn’t even registered that you had snapped back that if he could just be smart enough to block his head while fighting and keep his com from being bashed around, your job wouldn’t be so hard.

There had been a moment of silence on the other end of the line and then all at once 4 different com links lit up as laughter spilled into your ear piece. You’d heard Nat ribbing Sam for always forgetting to block his ears and Steve cackling that “the kid just really got you.” Tony was chuckling quietly and Sam was saying “Fair. Fair.” You couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

That was who you were. Managing what felt like a thousand com links, and still making jokes. You were cracking up with Sam on the battlefield. Helping Nat try to set Steve up on dates while you were doing recon. Laughing while you and Bucky beat each other up on the sparring mats.

You didn’t know the person you had become this year. Laying on the floor of your living room for hours on end? Not answering the door when Peter came over after school? Not taking a single mission for nearly 9 months? It just started one day and then just snowballed and snowballed. The more you laid around, the more you just hated yourself for not being able to get back up.

I mean c’mon . You’d been shot once busting up an arms deal in Sudan and all you did was laugh before hopping back up and clobbering the guy over the head with a loose cement block. Bucky had panicked and run your way when he saw you get hit, insisting he medivac you out. You had just winced and put a hand over the hole in your shoulder and said “and miss all the action? No chance.”

It baffled you that you couldn’t pull it together now.

Maybe the therapist would be good. As much as you hated to admit it, you clearly needed help.

A rumble in the distance alerted you that the quinjet had arrived home. You wandered across the grass to the landing pad to say hi to your friends. You could thank Bucky for last night and maybe ask Peter to watch a movie tonight. Or you could help him with his homework, not that the kid needed it. Just something. You suddenly really didn’t want to be alone.

As you rounded the corner of the building and caught sight of everyone, you realized that everyone was running around a little too frantically for your comfort level. You heard Sam yell “Someone get him to the med wing.”

“On it!” That was Steve.

Your heart froze in your chest and you paused mid step. You felt very torn between running toward the jet, and running clear in the other direction. You weren’t sure if you could handle whatever it was that was happening. It was then that you saw Bucky walking down the ramp of the jet with a red suited body cradled in his arms.

Your heart restarted with a vengeance and your feet moved on their own. Sprinting toward the jet. A choked “Peter!” ripped from your lungs.

As you stepped up on the landing pad Sam caught you around the waist and pulled you back. “He’s fine Y/N. He’s gonna be fine. Just needs some stitches and a concussion check.”

You were panting hard as you stood up on your tiptoes to peek over Sam’s shoulder in time to see Bucky pass Peter to Steve. You placed both palms on Sam’s chest and pushed with all your strength to get him out of your way. It was unfair, you used all your super strength against him. His breath wooshed from his chest as he skidded a few feet back. You started your dash towards Peter again before two arms, one warm and one cold, wrapped around your waist and dragged you backward.

“Stop. Stop sweetheart. Give him space. He’s just dazed.” Bucky grunted as you slammed into his chest. His lips brushed the shell of your ear as he dragged you backwards away from the retreating form of Steve. Your hands scrambled for purchase over his arms. Pushing with all your strength against the metal and flesh wrapped around your middle. He, unlike Sam, did not budge.

This was your fault. You couldn’t get your shit together and Peter had to go on a mission for you and he got hurt. It was your own damn fault.

“Breathe. Please breathe for me. C’mon baby breathe.” Bucky was lowering you down to your knees now. You were suddenly aware of the concrete of the landing pad beneath your knees. Your breaths were ragged and choked. You felt like you were breathing through a straw. “Whoa whoa whoa sweetheart. You have to breathe for me.”  

Bucky was on his knees now in front of you. He had pushed back a bit so he could look into your face, but his arms were still wrapped tightly around you. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he tried to get you to match the pace of his breathing. You couldn’t tear your eyes off the door that Steve had just walked through.

“I can’t” you choked out. “Peter.” It felt like your throat was closing up. Where was the oxygen in the world?

“He’s fine. I promise. He got a little distracted and someone bashed him over the head with a two-by-four. He probably needs like 2 stitches in his eyebrow. He was also a little panicked and dazed, that’s why I was carrying him. It’s fine.” Your eyes flicked to Bucky. He was scanning your face now. He looked absolutely petrified.

“You’re lying. You’re lying to me right now. I have to get to him.” You tried to stand up. To push him away. Bucky and his damn bionic arm didn’t move.  

Bucky wraps his arms tighter around you and pulls you back down. You’re basically smashed against his chest now. He lets out a frantic humorless laugh “I am not lying to you. I’m terrified because you’re hyperventilating and I need you to breathe. Now.”

All at once your muscles go slack and tense at the same time. You stop fighting Bucky as it registers just how low on oxygen you are. Your heart is pounding nearly out of your chest and your throat keeps getting smaller. “I-can’t” you choke. Your chest spasms a bit as your abdominal muscles clench. You feel tears burning behind your eyes. Over Bucky’s shoulder Sam looks on with an equally panicked look on his face. He has one foot pointing away from you like he’s wondering if he should go get someone but doesn’t want to leave in case you need him.

“Yes you can. I know you can. Just match me, okay?” Bucky murmurs in your ear. His flesh hand is running smooth lines down your spine and he’s rocking your body very slowly back and forth. He takes a very deep breath and you splutter and choke as you try to force your lungs to match his pace. “That’s my girl. C’mon keep following my chest.”

Your body collapses fully against Bucky now. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and hiccup as you try to force your lungs into breathing cyclically in time with him.

The burn behind your eyes increases and you feel yourself slipping backwards. You’re falling deeper into the water the way you were this morning. Falling away from the sun and the breeze.

“I’m drowning. I’m drowning, Bucky. Oh god.” You pant.

Bucky whipped back to look you in the eyes “What?” he breathed. He was scanning your whole face and body, like he was looking for the source of water in your lungs. He didn’t know you meant it figuratively.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me Bucky. I’m so scared.” You whispered. You could barely keep your eyes open. Seeing the pain on his face, the look of pure terrified confusion on Sam’s face was so painful.  

Bucky brought his metal hand up to cup your cheek. “It’s okay. It’s okay Doll. I’ve got you. Sam’s here. It’s okay.”

You buried your face into his neck again. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t explain. With your head buried, you missed Bucky throw a questioning look over his shoulder at Sam. You missed Sam shrugging his shoulders. Both of your friends, at a loss of how to help you. All they knew to do at the moment was make sure you were breathing.

The tears finally came. Big, hot, wet tears pouring from your eyes. Your body shaking with the force of them finally escaping after months of holding them in. You were incoherent. Babbling now as you just tried to rid your body of this demon of pain that seized every muscle. “Oh my god Bucky. I just… I let him do this to me. I… I’m such an idiot. I just… oh god” you were practically seizing in his arms now, he was holding tight to you like he was trying to keep pieces of you from cracking off.  

“What?” He choked out.

“Him!” You wailed. “I let him hurt me. I let him destroy who I am and I don’t even know why.”

Bucky was running a hand through your hair now. Softly whispering “Shhh it’s okay. It’s okay” into your neck. Sam had moved closer and placed a hand on your shin in quiet support. He had his head bowed and was looking at the concrete. You stayed in your tableau for a long time. Like a renaissance painting frozen in time. Slowly your heart beat went back to a steady rhythm and your breathing evened out.

Eventually, you sniffled and leaned back to look at Bucky. You were sure your hair was a mess, your face was splotchy and you probably had snot and tears running down your whole face. In fact, you probably got snot all over him. You really hoped it didn’t mess up anything in his arm.

Bucky looked at you quietly. He seemed to be waiting for you to speak, offering you a life preserver in a sea of uncertain emotions. Your voice was raspy when you finally spoke “I want to see Peter.”

Bucky just nodded and picked you up to set you on your feet. He backed away with his hands still on your hips, like he was worried you couldn’t stand on your own. “I’m okay.” you mumbled as you tried to smooth out your hair and use the sleeve of your t-shirt to wipe up your face. “I can stand. I’m okay.”

You turned and started walking back into the compound, the two of them flanking you as you began the trek to the med wing.

~0~

Upon arriving in the medical wing you snagged a tissue from a nearby box and tried to wipe up the rest of your face. You glanced at your reflection in one of the nearby glass panels and winced at how puffy and blotchy your face was. You tried to rub your face to even out the tone of your skin, but there was nothing you could do about how puffy your eyes were.

After walking farther down the hall you spotted Peter. Sitting up on a table where Dr. Cho was shining a light in both of his eyes. As you stepped into the room you just heard her say “A slight concussion. You should be cleared for activity in a week or so.” Before turning to put away all of her instruments.

“Hi.” You squeaked out. When Peter turned his eyes in your direction you nearly burst into tears again. He had brightened and smiled at the sound of your voice, but when his eyes hit your face his smile fell.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Sliding off the table to walk over to you. You glanced behind you and saw Bucky and Sam hovering just outside the door of the room. They were very obviously trying to watch you without looking like they were watching you.

“I think that’s my line.” You chuckle as Peter wraps you in a hug. Over your shoulder, Peter shoots a questioning look at Sam and Bucky.

Sam speaks up. “Someone got a little freaked when you got carried off the jet.”

Peter pulls back to look at you again. “Oh god Y/N. I’m okay. I promise. I just got a little overwhelmed when I realized I had let my guard down and panicked, and then I got dazed when I got whacked on my head. I’m okay.” When Peter notices the water fill up in your eyes he pulls you back in. “Oh please don’t cry. I’m fine. Just four stitches is all.”

“Bucky said you were only gonna need two.” You grumbled into his chest. Peter snorted. In the hall Bucky humphed.

“Four is not that far off, okay? I was close.”

Peter was rubbing his hands up and down your arms and laughing softly. “You know I think I’m supposed to be the one comforting you,” you noted, “this is sort of backwards.” Then all three of them were chuckling. You pulled back from Peter to look at him. “I’m sorry for being a baby, you just scared me.”  

“ I scared you?” Peter questioned “I think normally it’s you who shows up here all bloody and unconscious scaring the hell out of me, so I guess it was my turn.”

You chuckled a bit and grinned at Peter. His eyes lit up when he caught the upward tilt of your lips and he hauled you back against his chest. “I missed you, Y/N.” Peter said quietly.

“I’m right here, Peter.”

“Yeah, you are.” Peter sighed. Then he pulled back to look at you again. “Movie night? Maybe in the common room so everyone can watch? We haven’t finished the Fast the Furious movies yet.”

“Oh god I’m not watching if you’re past the third one.” Sam groaned from the hall. “They just went downhill after that.”

“Good news for you then birdman, we’re on Tokyo Drift.” Peter called out as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders to walk you out of the room.

“Who you calling birdman, spider punk?” Sam shot back.

You snorted. All three of them whipped their heads to look at you. “What?” you asked indignantly, “It was funny!”

Bucky reached out and mussed your hair. “There she is.”

You pushed back against his arm. “Oh shut up, Terminator.”

Sam buckled over and held his stomach as he cackled, Peter’s chest shook next to you.

“What’s a terminator?” Bucky asked, making Peter and Sam laugh harder. Peter had to lift his arm off of your shoulder to put his hands on his knees.

You patted Buck on his metal shoulder. “I’ll tell you when you’re even older, you dinosaur.”

Sam and Peter stumbled forward down the hallway together, wheezing through their laughter. Their arms placed on each other's shoulders, quoting the terminator and wiping tears from their eyes.

You and Bucky followed behind them on your way to the common space. When Peter and Sam were far enough out of ear-shot Bucky spoke.

“You okay?”

You glanced over at him. He had his eyes on the two men stumbling down the hall together ahead of you. He was trying for nonchalance, but you could tell he was still on edge.

“Yeah, Buck. I am. I will be.”

He turned to look at you then. His lips curled up into the smallest of smiles, but it was enough to get you to return one. He threw his arm over your shoulder and dragged your head into his shoulder as you kept walking. “Yeah you will.”

And he was right. You would be. Not all at once. Not right away. But you would be. The sounds of your two friends laughing up the hall was proof.

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky x female reader #bucky #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you

[1-800-channie]

Guardian Angel

PAIRING | Angel Chan & Female Reader

GENRE | Cute / Angst / Suggestive

TYPE | Long Fiction

WC | 5000+ Words

SUMMARY | “After suffering more than you could handle, God sends you a heaven made gift. He sent you a Guardian Angel. His name is Christopher Bang Chan and he is the most handsome creature you have ever laid your eyes on. Will you be able to live with him everyday without any kind of second thoughts? Will Chris be able to take care of you without falling for you? Something tells me that it won’t be. But if, the both of you fall in temptation, there is a punishment that will hurt more than death.”

[Part 1] [Part 2]

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(100 Days Left)

Not everyone deserves to have someone look after them. Someone ideal who can prepare dinner after a long day of work, or someone who understands how you feel and will support you no matter what. Surely you weren't one of those people.

God always had his eye on you, especially considering you constantly prayed to him in tears, imploring him to support you in some way. You were extremely exhausted from all the crimes that occurred in your life. The cross was excessively heavy for you; your wasted body couldn't take it anymore.

It all happened on a rainy night. You were working on a recent design for a client. Your body felt all worn out from serving all night and day at the restaurant. Your eyes were burning though you couldn’t bring yourself to stop, not when the design was turning out so well.

As you looked out the sliding window, you noticed that it was raining. The chilly raindrops caused an aesthetic feeling that helped you feel inspired. The only light inside your apartment was from the laptop you were currently using. Outside however, the only source of light you saw was the stroke of lightning from the dark sky that alarmed you.

Ever since you were a young girl you had a fear of lightning. However, now that you were an adult, you couldn’t let it distract you no more, you had to continue working. You did your best to ignore the strokes of lightning outside as you continued to distract yourself for a little longer.

As your eyes carefully analysed the finished product, your mind wandered somewhere else. You remembered how you used to live in your hometown with your parents in a humble environment while working on a company of Web Design, something you studied for. The boss loved your hardworking and creative self. Therefore, when he got the chance, he gave you the main seat at the table of the company, in Seoul.

In about a month or so you moved to the massive city of Seoul. It was unusual for you, so many people and so much noise. It was recent, but after some time you became used to the weirdness. You lived in a magnificent apartment, five minutes away from work, which was thankfully paid for by the company.

Everything was going completely fine until the boss invested in the wrong company. When that company went down, the company you were working for also went down, causing your boss to be bankrupted.

That's when your world came crashing down. You lost the apartment you were staying in because it was way too overpriced for you to afford alone, and you didn't even have a place to work. To make things worse, your parents were going through a tough time back in your hometown, and you had sent them the money you had saved, leaving you with just a couple hundred dollars.

You were alone and lost in an enormous city. You had no place to sleep or work. You felt miserable and lost as you cried yourself to sleep for several days, sleeping on some cardboards that the people were throwing away.

You were tired of sleeping on the ground, on the fourth day, you summoned up some unknown energy and went to a public bathroom, where you showered and prepared yourself to find a new job.

You spent all day running around, walking from coffee shop to coffee shop. From one restaurant to another. By seven your body was exhausted. Especially because you didn't eat all day, so you sat down on the road.

Finally the answer to your prayers were heard. An elderly lady saw you miserably sitting down on the dirty ground and helped you walk inside her small restaurant. It smelled of rice cakes and kimchi and you liked it.

The eldery woman’s name was Kim Sohyun and she was eighty years old. But don’t be fooled by her age, she was fast and didn't stop moving. She always found something to do at the restaurant, even when it was as empty as a parking lot at night. Out of genuine kindness, she gave you some food and a place to stay. The apartment you stayed in was from her daughter that left Korea to go abroad and never talked to her mom again.

After that day, you took care of that adorable lady, learned how to cook and even started cleaning for her.

You smiled at the thought of the lady Kim Sohyun. As your mind came back to the present when you read the name of the person that asked you for the design, you got shy. He is a starting rapper by the name of Changbin. He had pretty brown eyes and a cute laugh that made your heart flutter.

When he told you he trusted you with his first album cover design you hugged him tightly, which caught him off guard, but he didn't mind. Not when it came to you. Changbin was around for a while before asking you to work for him. He knew your story, and you knew his.

A sudden loud bang echoed inside your silent apartment shocking you.Then suddenly everything was dark. It took you a while to recognize what happened, but as soon as you noticed that the power went off panic took over your small body.

Your computer is quite old and only works plugged to the electricity. Since the power went off, it means your computer is dead. Tears started to form at the corners of your exhausted eyes... All the work you already had done… Was gone.

The design you had been working on for days was totally gone.

You fell on your knees on the wood floor violently. Your frame curled up in a ball as you sobbed quietly, trying your best not to be too noisy and scare Lady Sohyun that is sleeping.

Now the only sounds audible from the inside were your sobs, and from the outside, the rain that started to calm down.

God, decided to reward you from being loyal and strong and sent someone to save you.

You didn't see it, but it was something so magical and special. There was an angel standing in front of you. His body was muscular and well proportioned, radiating light.

You noticed something was wrong from all the sudden brightness that escaped from between your fingers as you covered your eyes. And just like the curiosity killed the cat, you screamed so loud that you are afraid it woke half of the city.

In front of you, there was an absurd creature. His body was perfectly built, muscles visible on his pale body. His face was so magical that you were afraid that you had died and went to paradise. Golden hair, gloomy eyes, plump crimson lips, and a prominent nose. His frame was only covered by a thin cover that went from his shoulder to his waist, secured by a charming gold belt. His feet bare.

“What-what are you doing here?” You question getting off the wooden floor and taking a few steps back, startled.

“I'm your guardian angel, YN.” The creature explains, his voice low and noble. “Don’t be afraid…I'm here to take care of you.”

You stare at him with burning cheeks and uncertain eyes. Curiosity consuming you alive. You walk towards him slowly. He was so pure and bright, almost unreal. Something heaven-made.

“Can I touch you?” You ask innocently, just to make sure he is real.

“Go ahead, YN-ah.” The angels respond with a genuine smile.

Your fingertips were trembling as you caressed his cheek. The angel flinched because of your cold fingertips, scaring you for a few moments. His skin was silky and he felt genuine. His hair was also soft, but a bit dry and he smelled like nature. The scent was so different that you couldn't explain it. It prompted you with comfort.

“Oh my…” You confessed impressively. “I don’t have money to buy you food, and I don't have a place for you to sleep in… I'm sorry. I think you should go back to… hm… Heaven?” You say, confused. The beautiful angel laughs.

“YN, I don’t need to eat or sleep. I'm here to be your company, help you when you need it, take care of you.” Your mouth opens in a ‘O’ shape and you nod your head. Deep inside, you were still confused and uncertain.

“Hmmm, I think I'm going to sleep now. Could you, hm, not look at me? While I try to fall asleep?” Your cheeks were reddening again. The angel looks at you with love and accepts.

You lay down on your bed and cover your body, hiding completely. Your brain quickly tried to be reasonable and tells you that this was just a dream. Maybe you hit your head and passed out. Too scared to know the truth, you didn’t get out of the covers. As time slowly passed, you silently fell asleep.

It's cute how the next morning you wake up with your blankets almost falling off the bed and an amazing smell of eggs, toasts, and pancakes.

That's odd. Miss. Kim Sohyun never prepared your breakfast before.The weirdest thing was she didn't have these kind of ingredients. As you walked to the small kitchen, yawning and gently rubbing your sleepy eyes, there was a bare back facing you. You screamed, startled.

“Oh, good morning Y/N, did you sleep well?” The man asked, placing a glass of orange juice on the table.

“I thought it was all a dream…” You said to yourself, facing the floor, twisting your hair in annoyance.

“It’s not. I’m here to take care of you…” You stared at him, seriously. That was the first time he made your heart flutter.

After ten awkward minutes of him washing the dishes that were on the sink from yesterday, curiosity took the best of you:

“What's your name, Angel?” You asked, admiring his sturdy back. He laughed silently, then he jerked his head towards you.

“Oh right, how impolite. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Christopher Bang Chan. I’m a mixture of Korean and Australian. I was moving to Korea when the plane I was in had a problem and crashed. I died there, I was twenty years old. This is why I still look like this and not older.” The last part, he narrated to you while facing the plates he was washing, avoiding your gaze.

“I'm so sorry…” You said in a low voice.

"It 's ok love. Everything happens for a reason…” Christopher says with a tender smile. “Now” He started talking again, finishing up with the plates. “You go to take a shower, and then get ready to work, I’ll clean the kitchen.” You looked at him surprised but did as he said.

“Wait, what will you do all day?” You asked, interested.

“I'll clean your house, try to fix your computer and then pray. Don’t worry about me, ok?” You nodded again, trying to be obedient.

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( 90 Days Left)

As time went by you bought him some ‘human’ clothes, so he looked ordinary and you could walk around with him by your side. Chris, as you like to call him, looked handsome on the outfits you carefully pick him.

The truth was that his presence was now normal to you. Every time you opened your door, you greet the charming Angel, that's usually in the modern kitchen, cooking you dinner. Usually, after dinner, you washed the dishes while you obligated him to sit down and rest for a bit.

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( 80 Days Left)

After a tedious day of work, you ate a delicious dinner and went straight to the bathroom to take a warm shower. When you were done, you sat comfortably on your downy bed while Chris brushed your hair. Usually while he did it, you informed him about your day, and today was no different. As his bony fingers grazed over your scalp trying not to willingly hurt when he was brushing harder, you eagerly told him about Changbin.

“He may seem to be a bit mean at first. He always wears black clothes… his makeup is always perfectly made. I'm jealous sometimes. His voice is nice because he can make it deep and serious or high pitched and girly to piss me off.” You giggled while remembering Binnie’s jokes from that today.

“That man seems important to you…” Chris stated with a gentle smile, even though something sparkled inside him. Could he be jealous of that man for being so close to you?

“Hmmmm, not as important as you.” You say positively and then turn your body so you could confront the timid boy sitting in the middle of your bed.

Chris looked at the white blanket that was resting on his legs as he played with his fingers. Did you just say that? Is he that important to you? The Angel was biting his bottom lip nervously. His heart was racing like crazy and you could almost hear it calling your name.

You moved closer to him, enough so when you extended your arm, your soft hand would cup his cheek. Chan immediately stared at you, trying to understand what were you going to do next.

A voice in your head woke you up and made you pull your hand away, suddenly feeling shy. Maybe Chris can’t feel love for someone, maybe not the same way humans do. And you were afraid of scaring him. An uncomfortable silence involves the both of you and you sign, closing your eyes and trying to calm down the urge to cry.

The truth is he makes you feel some type of way. His eyes seem to light up and turn brighter every time he sees you. Chris would carefully listen to all your complaining or sad words. His lips would turn to an adorable pout when you were bossing him around. His hugs were warm and safe, and you felt protected on them. His laugh was so innocent and contagious and also mentioning he has such a pure heart, filled with love only. The angel made you feel special and loved… You were getting attached to it.

You didn't want to admit it to him or yourself. Maybe you were starting to feel something for him. It was wrong. You and he could never be together, because he was your guardian angel, not your lover.

“I think… I'll go to sleep.” You said after being lost on your melancolic thoughts for too long.

“Oh, hm, ok… But you seem sad. What's wrong?” Chan politely questioned while getting off the comfy bed so you could lay down. Your hands felt unsteady, your stomach was aching in an unusual way.

“Nothing you can fix.” You coldly explained, intentionally trying to push him away. You needed some time alone.

“Oh… Ok. I'll be praying in the kitchen if you require me.” Chris winks at you. “Good Night, Love.” You bite your lip to stop the tears from slipping out. That damn nickname.

You tried to sleep. You did, but your heart was beating too fast and you couldn't stop thinking about his lips. Chris's lips were so plump and inviting, they seemed so soft and plush, so kissable…

Chan peaked at you, and noticed how restless you were, he approached you:

“Y/N, let me try to help you. Please, you don’t need to talk about it. I'll just be there for you.” The Angel insists, sitting by your side on your bed.

“Ok ok… I only accept because it's hard for me to sleep, and I have work tomorrow.” You finally gave in. Chan felt grateful, this was something he wanted for a while and was too shy to ask you.

You lay down on the bed again, closing your eyes and snuggling inside the warm covers. Chris was shy, but it was worth it. Chan lays down on the bed, under the covers and gets closer to you. Uncertain. His arm rested on your waist as he pushed you a little further against his chest.

Chan wanted to cuddle you. You smiled as an adorable blush painted your cheeks. He was warmer than the heavy covers, his embrace so safe and comfortable that you never wanted him to leave.

The Angel was feeling the same, shy but happy. Your body felt so tiny between his protective arms. He desperately wished to hold you forever because, somehow, you felt like home. Chan was scared, afraid of how he was starting to feel for the charming girl he had to look after. He loves to admire the way your smile gets wider when he makes a joke; how you get mad at him when he does everything at home alone and how pretty you look without even trying.

What if he fell for you?

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( 70 Days Left)

“Chris come here…” You whined in the bathroom, your bandana was stuck in your hair and if you tried to pull it, it would most likely rip all your hair off.

The tall man came inside the bathroom in a rush, worried that something may have happened to you.

“What’s wrong, Love?” His melodious voice asked, admiring your grumpy face that reflected on the small, old mirror.

“My hair is tangled, and it hurts if I pull it. Please, help me.” You begged with puppy eyes, noticing how he changed from worried to relaxed in seconds.

The Angel walked behind you, and his slender fingers started to work on your messy hair. You could feel the warmth his body was radiating from behind you. His smell changed, because he was now using your body wash and shampoo. The smell of vanilla was amazing, you liked it in your skin, but when it came to him… It was special.

Chris was shaking, his fingers were uncertain and trembling. His breathing was uneasy and his legs felt like jelly. He could notice easily how you were biting your bottom lip, a cute pink blush on your cheeks and every time his fingers brushed against your sensitive neck, a long breath would leave your sensual lips.

The atmosphere inside the bathroom was starting to heat up, both of you not being able to control their body language and it was obvious. So obvious that both of you were crazy in love with each other.

“Done…” He said, his voice loud but shaky. Chris immediately called himself stupid for showing you that he is feeling flustered, but you just give him a soft smile and turned around, taking your bandana out of his hands and getting out of the bathroom in a rush, trying to calm yourself down.

You walked close to your window and opened it, feeling the cold breeze hitting your face and calming your heated body. Your heart was beating fastly and you were too timid to look Chris in the eyes.

The way he made you feel is not possible, you can’t feel like that. Though his eyes were so pretty, his lips were so inviting and his heart was pure gold… How could you stop yourself from feeling that way? A sudden call for your name made you come back to reality.

You walked to the front door and opened it. The kind woman that gave you a shelter was there, with a light mad expression:

“My oven is a mess, Hun, i didn't want to bother you on a Sunday but i need help with it.” She explained shaking her head in disappointment. “Could you please get downstairs and clean it?” She asked, her voice hopeful.

“Yes, i can do it. Give me just five minutes and i'll be there.” You smiled politely, she took your hands in hers and smiled, secretly, she was very grateful for you.

You got back inside the small place and called for Chris. He showed up with red eyes, like he was crying but he simply smiled at you, while making you sign with his hand for you to go help Miss Sohyun.

You did so, your heart beating fast once again, but this time because you know, something was up with the angel and you know he will never tell you what's wrong.

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( 60 Days Left)

Some days passed by and you and Chris slept in the same bed together every day. Even him, that affirmed he didn't need to sleep, would get lost in your warmth and fall asleep. Cute little snores invading the bedroom and you couldn't stop giggling, from how precious he looked.

As your eyes scanned your window you noticed that outside was dark, despite being 9 am, it was raining. The heavy raindrops were hitting your window in the most deliciously, making you feel lazy. You looked back at Chris one last time and got off the bed, ready to prepare him a surprise for the first time.

At the kitchen you heated some milk and prepared some toasts that you filled with Nutella. You also picked up some grapes, just how you know he liked it. After a couple of minutes, everything was prepared on the table. There was: a candle with no smell lighted; some white napkins; the amazing toasts with Nutella; the grapes were washed and fresh; and the chocolate was already on the milk, turning out to warm chocolate what you know he will love.

You walked back to your bedroom to find him sleeping on his back, his face turned to the left as his hands rested inside his t-shirt, making it rise and show his toned chest. Immediately you blushed but weren't able to take your eyes out of him. You blamed the covers because they were all messy at the bottom of the bed.

“Chris~” You whispered, sitting next to his body on the bed. The angel just shifted a little in his sleep and reached out for you, pulling you by your waist to lay next to him.

You were biting your lip to stop the gasp that almost escaped your lips from the sudden action. The next thing he did was cling to you, one of his legs rested on top of yours and his head moved to rest on your collar bones, giving you access to his scalp easily.

Christopher was adorable, and you couldn't deny it, especially because he was making you feel things, things you couldn't explain. Your fingers started to massage his scalp and that woke him up.

“Keep doing that…” His lips escaped, but it sounded more like a moan. You continued it for a while, feeling him get relaxed under your touch. Softly you felt his fingers make subtle touches on your stomach, making goosebumps take over your body.

“Smells so nice… Did you prepare something?” He asked getting off of you. You pouted, feeling cold without his body there to warm you.

“Oh, yes. I made breakfast! I was almost forgetting about it!” You are the first to get out of the bed, and then grab gently his hand and pull him to the kitchen.

“Woah.” He gasped. “You didn't have to. You know i don't need to eat…” Chris reminded you, laughing awkwardly.

“Oh…” You said embarrassed. “I forgot it…” You looked at the floor, your anxiety eating you alive.

Chris walked silently towards you and, with his slender fingers, pushed your chin up. Causing you face him. Your eyes found his almost immediately and you found yourself blushing because of that simple action. In his mind, he would take you right there, kiss your lips and get rid of this stupid feeling consuming him every time he was close to you.

“What you did was sweet and i appreciate it, Love.” He whispered. “I will eat some because you made them with so much care, ok?” You nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.

Chris always does this, makes you hope he would finally make a move and then, he leaves you hanging.

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( 50 Days Left)

It all started as a good day, the sun was shining brightly outside, besides the cold wind that made your hair a mess. Chris passed out next to you when you woke up, one of his legs still tangled with yours and his nose was close to your ear, making you hear his not-so-cute snores.

You decided to get up without bothering him, you ate something that was in your fridge and wrote him a small letter telling him not to prepare lunch because you weren't going to eat at home.

At work, Changbin was talking to you, and distracting you so much that you didn't notice the new couple that got inside the restaurant. Due to that they got mad for taking so long to take their order.

Of course, the old lady you work for was mad at you, and as a punishment prohibited Bin from coming to the restaurant for one week. You apologized with teary eyes, the guilt swallowing you alive. You stayed the rest of the day hidden inside the kitchen, as the old lady worked as a waitress today.

A cup accidentally slipped from your hand and broke into million pieces as it hit the floor.

She was mad at you again, telling you that she doesn't know what's up with you today, and she couldn't understand why you were so slow today. When she decided it was time to close the restaurant, you noticed it was raining outside.

Since you live just across the street you didn't mind it, but a car passed in front of you when you were sprinting home, making the water on the road hit you and go everywhere making you soaked.

The tears in your eyes were held back by your angriness, but as soon as you saw Chris' angelic face you broke down in tears on the spot. You fell on your knees while hiding your face between your hands.

“What's wrong, my love?” The Angel asked concerned, but you were too busy sobbing to answer him. “You’re soaked, what happened?”

This time you took a glance at him, red and puffy eyes.

“It was a car. As I was waiting to cross the street he passed on the splash on the street and soaked me from head to toe.”

Chris giggled little from your choice of yours but tried to hide his smile so you wouldn't feel bad.

“Come on, let's take a hot bath to make you feel better, alright?” You nodded, tiredly getting off of your knees and walking to your cold bathroom.

Chris started to take care of the water, letting it fill the bathtub as you stripped of your wet clothes.

“When you are done washing your body tell me because I'll be there to wash your hair and give you a light massage on the scalp and shoulders… ok-” He interrupted himself because on his way out of the bathroom he caught you only in your underwear. A blush decorated your face as his curious eyes stared at you shamelessly.

“Could you… hmm… stop… staring?” You awkwardly asked, trying to cover yourself. 

“I'm sorry, you are beautiful. I couldn't contain myself.” He apologized, then shifted his gaze to his hands, too nervous to face you.

When he finally closed the door behind him you relieved a long sign. You got rid of your underwear quickly, and dived inside the warm water. As the sound of the rain outside reflected inside your small bathroom, you cried.

Your body was overwhelmed with so many emotions that you could not explain. Chris noticed your almost inaudible sobs and waited patiently until you calmed done to knock on the wooden door:

“May i come in? To wash your hair for you?” He asked in a low voice.

“Yes, you may.” You answered some minutes after, trying to calm your heartbeat down. 

He was going to be washing your hair, as you stayed naked underwater. Chris gets inside without making any noise and knees down on the floor, in front of the bathtub as you let your back hit the board and force your head back, so he could have access to it.

The angel’s hands were magical and we're making you feel much better. The way he patiently washed your hair almost made you fall asleep on the spot. After your hair was clean, you strained your back and waited for him to pour water on you, so the shampoo would get off.

Chris was feeling something inside him he didn't know he could. He wanted to touch you, feel every inch of you under his fingertips. He wanted to kiss you passionately as his hands roamed over your beautiful body.

He was only facing your back, but he felt his body heat up and something getting weirdly hard on his pants. He had to ignore it? But the moan you left as soon as his fingers came in contact with your scalp once again made him call your name:

“Y/N, please. I can't take it anymore…” You turned off the water and turned around, not caring about him being able to see your chest, that had some shampoo on them.

“Chris, i can't do this either…” You whispered, staring at him in the eyes.

Even though his body was screaming for him to look at your nude chest, he kept eye contact with you as he got closer to you. It was now or never, the perfect moment to kiss you.

Christopher’s lips were softer than you thought, and you wanted to bite them. His heart-shaped lips molded perfectly with yours and complimented them.

They were pressed up against yours on a long peck that made you frustrated. So, tired of it, you grabbed his face between your small hands and forced him stronger against your mouth. Chan seemed to get the message, and his tongue came in contact with your bottom lip, trying to deepen the kiss.

When you finally felt his tongue against yours you moaned shamelessly, to lost in the feeling to care. He felt perfect for you, he felt like he was made for you… Why did you hold back, when you could have been kissing these lovely lips every day, all day?!

Your lips parted because of the absence of oxygen, and the smile that was displayed on his lips made your heart flutter. Something inside you yelled that he may feel the same for you, from more crazy that it seems.

“I'll wait for you in the kitchen, ok Love?” The Angel suddenly asked, getting up. He was trying his hardest to avoid your chest, but it was stronger than him. Chan got a glimpse of them as he closed the door, but it was enough to make the situation even harder for him.

What both of you didn't know is that what is given, can be taken back as well. Since the both of you committed a sin, The Gifter couldn't be more sure that he had to make the angel stay away from you as soon as possible.

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A/N: Hello beautiful Stars! I know it's been a while, but I am back. Since I'm starting all over again, I decided to make a special first post. This fic was resting in my drafts all year, unfinished.

I finally finished it and I'm very happy for finally posting it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved to write it.

Before I go, I need to give a special thanks to @xiaojunssmile for helping me revising my work. I appreciate you a lot, you are the best. I love you ❤

Rebloggs, likes and comments are always appreciate it. Thank you.

Happy 2021. I hope your new year comes with Heath and lots of love ❤✨

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