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captaincapsicle83 · 2 months

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One Night Stand

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: I don't know if anyone's noticed, but Clint Barton is my muse and he runs the cult...that I'm...in (I hope we get the reference or I sound insane). I just like writing silly Clint into my silly stories, I just noticed that theme.

TW: cursing, mentions of glass, mentions of injury,

Summary: You wake up the night after one of Tony Starks' biggest parties. And you're not in YOUR bedroom.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Tony Stark x reader (platonic), Bruce Banner x reader (platonic)

You wake up, light streaming through the blinds onto your face. You groan. This is why you got rid of the blinds, light always came through them.

...wait a minute.

You already got rid of the blinds.

You shot up in your bed. The bed. It wasn't yours. This pillow wasn't yours, this black comforter wasn't yours, and these clothes...

Holy mother fucker of Odinson.

You weren't wearing any clothes.

"What the fuck?" You say, out loud and clear. Something stirs in the bed.

You look over in horror, and an unidentified lump is hidden beneath the covers.

Okay, you think. Nows your chance. Nows your chance to be a reasonable adult, and talk this out with this person.

(Within seconds you have gathered your lost articles of clothing and dashed out of the strangers room).

You were lucky in a sense, the sense being that this person lived in the tower that your best friend owned. Him and all his avenger friends lived here, and he gave you a room on his floor that you used sometimes.

Oh shit.

You slept with an avenger.

And it wasn't even Thor. He wasn't ok earth right now. That sucked. He was on your bucket list.

You sat on your bed, pouting mostly, wanting desperately to nurse your throbbing hangover.

You didn't quite have the guts to leave the room just yet. You remembered the in-building AI right at that moment.

"Friday," you croacked out. Your mouth was horribly dry, and you were also in desperate need of some chapstick. "Where's Tony?"

You weren't sure exactly the extent of what the AI could do, but she seemed happy to answer you.

"Mr. Stark is in his lab, accompanied by Dr. Banner. Would you like me to page him for you?"

"Can I just...go there?" You asked. Your room was much darker, having black out curtains instead of blinds.

Curse the blinds. And their creator. Edward Bevan. Curse him.

"Of course, Miss L/n."

Luckily for you, you knew where Tony's lab was, and what floor number to press in the elevator.

You kept your eyes closed on the blinding ride down, the bright fluorescent lights giving you an aneurysm.

The lights in the lab were even worse.

You walked into the room, eyes squinted and using your hands to shield yourself. Tony clearly found this hilarious, chuckling like an idiot.

Not even chuckling. The bastard was giggling.

"Lights not made for a hangover sweetheart," He shook his head, and you shit him a snarl and a death glare. Bruce gave you a sympathetic look and was holding out a bottle of water.

"You know any trusted detectives?" You asked, smiling at Bruce, and taking the drink from him gratefully.

"Ooh, for what?" Tony asked, looking intrigued. "Spill the tea sis."

You did, two mouths were agape when you finished.

After a minute of silence, Tony whips his head towards Bruce, "Was it-?"

"No!" Bruce scowls, then cringes and looks at you. "Not that-...I'm not saying...I wasn't even drinking last night, I would remember."

"Oh-kay," Tony says, exasperated. "We'll it wasn't me-"

"Thank god."

"It wasn't...Thor."

"Unfortunately."

"And it wasn't Peter...he doesn't have a room here."

"And he's a child!" You mention, giving Tony a disgusted look.

He waves you off, tapping a little metal tool to his forehead, presumably to help him think.

"Anything you remember? Did you get a look at them?"

You think about what you could possibly remember. Last thing last night was downing shots with Tony and a bunch of his friends, and getting told names you didn't commit to memory.

"They still have blinds in their room," you throw out there, shrugging. Nothing else came to mind.

"Friday," Tony calls out. "How many avengers on the 93rd floor have blinds in their room still?"

"About 7 sir," she answers. The only woman who would ever call Tony Stark, and the likes of him, sir.

"Which ones?"

"Mr. Rogers, Mr. Wilson, Vision, Miss Romanoff, Mr. Barton, Mr. Barnes, and Dr. Banner."

"Yay!" Tony says, and you can't pin if it was sarcastic. "That leaves six."

"Yay," you and Bruce both answer monotonously.

"Hmm," Tony taps his chin. "Do you think putting out a message, asking who got laid recently, would be too bold."

"A little," you responded, arms crossed.

Tony sat down at his table, you following, and poor Bruce too, who clearly was sucked into this against his better judgement.

"You don't happen to remember what room?"

You did not. You had dashed so quickly, and it all kinda looked the same.

"Who do you want it to be?" Tony whispered. "We can just...let you pick and say you did 'em."

"Bartons kinda hot," you shrugged.

"Bartons kinda married," Tony mimicked your expression.

"He was...big...er..."

"Are you fat shaming your fuck buddy y/n?"

"No! I'm just saying...They werent...I dont think it was Natasha."

"Yeah, neither do I. So, assuming Bartons faithful, that leaves three men and a robot."

"Does vision have a-..."

"No."

"So then, that's three men," you say.

○○○

Tony invited you to lunch with the team. Subtle.

You, him, and poor Bruce (still looped into the mess) stood at the back of the room.

"Okay, so...I was thinking," Bruce starts. Tony looks surprised at the input and begs him to go on. "Well, if everyone's here, you can go look at those threes rooms, and see if they look...familiar?"

Bruce's suggestion let's a hush fall over the three of you.

○○○

The first room you entered, Sam Wilson's. You knew immediately it wasn't the right one, it being surprisingly bright in nature.

But, you were a nosy little fucker, and therefore when you saw the pictures that, from afar, looked a lot like Captain America fanart, you had to take a gander.

A few cellphone photos later, and you stuffed the drawings back into the drawer they were sticking out of. You thought about the luxury snooping would be, but figured your luck was being pressed already.

The next room was right next to it, belonging to Bucky Barnes.

You turned the handle of the door, carefully making your way in while watching the hallway. You had to be sure no one saw you enter.

Your back still to the room, you carefully and quietly shut the bedroom door. You had your phone still out, in your right hand.

You turned around, and dropped the Stark branded cellphone to the ground. It was new, without a case, therefore you were probably shit out of luck.

You didn't have time to check on it though, because your bright ass didn't check the room for occupants.

Well, occupant. The occupant.

Bucky Barnes.

The blinds were open, shining midday light into the room. The dark bedding was in a disarray ok the mattress, a clear indicator of a rush out of it.

The man looked at you, mouth slightly agape. Your mind was racing, a thousand miles a minute, trying to find a good way to break the silence.

"Did I have have sex with you?" You wanted to slap yourself silly.

He seems to have to take the time to pick his jaw up off the floor. He clears his throat (ew, fuck, was that attractive? Were you attracted to that?), and says, "Well...maybe I need to explain a few things."

"Do you?" You question, your voice about ten octaves above where it normally sat. How many times could you ask yourself, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He seemed to swallow (and you only noticed because you were absolutely OGLING his features), and trys to talk, coming up with nothing.

He motions for you to sit down on the little couch he had, matching his dark aesthetic.

"Let me just tell you what happened last night."

○○○

"Do you still have a dartboard?!" You screamed into Tony's ear. No reason to. It was the after party of the real party, the only people left were the residents of the tower.

"Ooh! Yes! Darts!" Tony hopped up, like a joyful child.

"No!" Steve grabbed the back of Tony's shirt, pulling him back. Tony's dramatic ass flopped himself onto the floor, whining like a toddler.

"I never get to do anything fun!"

You had abandoned the idea of darts, and were now playing a game of dodgeball with Clint. Except that there were no balls, only drinking glasses.

It was around that time the sober members elected to take the drunkest of the drunk to bed.

Steve took Tony, Bucky chose you over Clint (leaving Nat stuck with him).

Clint collapsed himself to the floor, smashing his knee on a pile of drinking glass shards (you had missed).

"Point by omission!" You yelled like a battle cry.

Bucky touched your shoulder, "Cmon doll, let's head to bed."

"For you? Anything!" You threw the glass you were holding in Clints direction, and he screamed at you in Arabic (no one knew Clint spoke Arabic. Upon questioning, neither did he).

Bucky got you to the hallway, and that was about as much as he could do without picking you up and carrying you to bed, which he admitted he would have if you didn't scream in protest when he tried.

He led you to your room, and left.

He got in his bed, closed his eyes, and let out a breath. Before he could process the sound of his door open, you catapulted yourself onto the bed.

Apparently, he tried to send you back a couple times, but after that you would start removing articles of clothing everytime you came in.

Well, that explained that situation.

"So I eventually just let you stay," Bucky shrugged. "I was tired."

You couldn't decided whether to laugh or cry, finally saying, "Holy fuck, I'm so sorry."

Bucky let out a loud laugh, his smile cresting dimples under his eyes, "Trust me, don't worry about it. Steve is a much worse drunk."

"I'm gonna need that story."

"I could tell it to you over dinner," You almost don't take it in before saying yes. You only hesitate slightly, before smiling and agreeing.

That smooth fucker.

#bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes x reader #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #tony stark #bruce banner #clint barton #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #marvel mcu #one night stand

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alithographica · 1 year

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Okay I've been offline for a few hours since the original deviantArt DreamUp kaboom happened so I'm trying to piece together the myriad of things that happened in the meantime. I'm now seeing people call everyone who got mad about the situation "overreacting" and "defaulting to outrage" and I don't think that's quite right. I think perhaps a few people misunderstood some wording or didn't get the full picture, but that the overall anger was entirely well-placed.

I might not have everything 100% correct here because I was offline for a bit of the action. If that's the case, let me know—I'd like to get the full picture because I'm still deciding what to do about my dA accounts too.

Disclaimer: This is not a discussion of whether AI art is art or is good or worthwhile. This is just about the dA situation.

(Long post under the cut)

The events as they happened until this afternoon:

AI generators have long been scraping dA, among other art sites, for images. Artists widely regard this as shitty. dA had no say in this either.

dA announced that an opt-out is now available (though everyone is opted-in by default, and opting out is a tedious manual process)

dA also announces their own ethical-er AI that credits artists

From that point I went offline for a few hours. I return to

News that the dA Twitter team was awful to some artists who were voicing concerns about this

People insisting it was an overreaction and dA isn't being scummy (the Twitter team sure, but not dA's site team) and

As a result of pushback, dA has now made all work default opted-out.

From where I'm sitting now catching up on the developments...I don't think we really misunderstood dA's original intentions? This sucks? I think some people are being too quick to defend dA here and point fingers at us for being reactionary.

Yes, our images were being used by 3rd party sites without our consent prior to this. Yes, it's nice that we can now opt-out, and I appreciate dA's efforts here. Genuinely, I do. I also appreciate the labeling of AI art and allowing users to choose whether they see AI art or not.

However, it blows that this was originally launched as default opt-in. Several people said "easier opt-out is coming, you're all being dramatic" but I think this was disproven by just how quickly that opt-out came. If they had always intended to make it default opt-out then they should've waited a few more hours or days for that to be done before launching this project/announcement.

I think the default opt-out only came because everyone spoke up and said "hey, wait—we knew AI engines were scraping us without your consent, dA, but now you've just said they DO have consent unless we say otherwise."

To repeat: This blows, and people were right to be angry! Even setting aside how long it would take some people to mark every one of their works as opt-out, even setting aside a single mass opt-out button, having it be default opted-in means that inactive and deceased artists are fair game, just because they didn't say no to a technology that popped up years after they uploaded their work.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate when someone says "mea culpa, we listened and corrected ourselves". We should adjust to new information! But I think it reveals their intent, which is still the core problem here. Prior to the backpedaling, why were things launched like this?

My guess: If I take dA at its word that deviations were not directly used to train DreamUp, then we have to look at how DreamUp WAS trained. dA confirmed it was trained off of Stable Diffusion which was trained in the usual way (that is to say, unethically by dA's own standards!) and dA was just telling us "hey we've been doing this anyway and now we're letting you know kthxbai".

dA wanted things default opt-in because—again, I'm guessing but it tracks—if they made things default opt-out, the field for future AI training (including updates to Stable Diffusion and therefore DreamUp) would thin, and they would come under fire for using so much provably-opted-out material in their training already (which has happened anyway with the new default). They were ensuring the field would continue to be seeded rather than making a very safe guess about how this would go over.

(Transcript in alt text)

I think it's fair to call that hypocrisy.

I appreciate that dA is trying to shift culture towards an ethical AI model that credits artists...though I believe only certain things will be credited, like if you were explicitly named in a prompt, so...ethical-lite, really. Despite that wrinkle, yes, I think other AIs should do this.

However this ignores the issue that I suspect many, many deviantArt users do not want their art being used in AI at all, even if credited. deviantArt saying "we're protecting you from outside AIs!" does not fix that the call was coming from inside the house this time.

THAT is what people are mad about.

Speaking of, how DID they think this would go over? dA dipping its toes into the AI scene with their own AI, a famously controversial topic amongst non-AI artists? Can't ignore that DreamUp is pay to play too—dA is making money off of DreamUp, just like the other AI engines.

If we shake dA's hand for speaking up for us, we also have to recognize that their other hand is going behind our back and taking a piece of the pie. If you can't beat 'em, monetize 'em I guess.

Also, you may see another opt-out form floating around: You can apply to opt out of having your specific name(s) allowed in DreamUp prompts, though it's heavily implied that they'll only be removing big name artists...Which I suspect is because those are the artists who are already in the unethical training set. Basically, "hey you might appear in this—let us know if you don't want that! But we're not going to tell you who's in there and who's not so just let us know if it might be you."

In my eyes this is (1) admission that yes, dA artists ARE in that set because of how it was originally sourced and (2) allows them a little wiggle room with that nasty default opt-out, because these artists were violated prior to the opt-out and are, in fact, what a substantial portion of the AI model is based on so any AI engine (including an ethical one!) would be reluctant to remove them.

Am I misunderstanding anything here? Because I'm seeing one clear fool at fault who was only cowed by the backlash.

As a final note, there's still one sticking point that is likely outside of dA's control: I suspect the new "noai" command, while a clear mark of non-consent, does not actually prevent 3rd party AIs from continuing to scrape deviations. It now violates dA's ToS to use a noai image, but does that have any teeth? Will dA go to bat for us if other AIs don't respect noai? (I don't think we have the answers to this right now, but it's something to keep an eye on.)

Anyway, I'll stop talking for now. Really feeling like an old timey blog here on tumblr dot com.

#deviantart #dA #dreamup #long post

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anyways-wonderwall · 11 months

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Eurovision Special!

It's my favorite time of year, Eurovision time! Every year I make a post talking about my five favorite songs from the year and generally talk about what I thought of the whole competition.

Uhh here's the thing though, this year SUCKED. Like I have been following Eurovision for six years and there has never been a more mid year in my experience. There were literally only 5 songs I liked, which while it made writing this really easy, is terrible given I usually playlist around 10 songs each year. I don't know what was happening but the countries dropped the ball on picking entries and the jury decided that only boring songs were allowed to do well. I cannot express how disappointed I was this year. (I just realized in my last post I wrote "Eurovision is getting too good, and what comes up must come down sometime" and unfortunately I was right)

Anyways, if you haven't read my last two Eurovision posts (which you can find here and here) I give each song a score from 1-10 in four categories: singer, song, catchiness, and performance. While technically a perfect score is a 40, there are available bonus points based on whether it isn't in English, it makes me laugh really hard, embodies Eurovision, etc. Each song also gets a fun little note so I can remember what it sounded like. Listen it's really hard to keep track of 37 songs.

Without further ado, here are the only good songs in Eurovision 2023:

5. Lithuania - Stay by Monika Linkytė

Score: 28/40

Notes: chutoh aahh tootoh

Final Ranking: 11th

I was really on the fence about including this one since it didn't really grab me at first, and in all honesty its not that great or unique and I kind of wrote it off as your standard Eurovision song.

But then as the days went on, I found the chorus - ‘Čiūto Tūto’ haunting me. I have never had more fun than dancing along with the chorus and there has not been a day I haven't sung this song. I'm re-listening to it now and honestly, I'm fine never listening to it again, but it has changed my life.

4. Austria - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Teya & Salena

Score: 30/40

Notes: Poe Poe Poe Poe Poe

Final Ranking: 15th

Now this is why I listen to Eurovision. I come here for camp nonsense and this year Austria delivered. A feminist song about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe?? Perfection. The song itself is really catchy, the singers are incredibly fun and charismatic, and the music video is just such a great time. I am really sad this song didn't place higher, especially since a lot of people were praising it. You deserved more girls!

(although edgar allan poe was actually very pro-slavery so they should be canceled /j)

3. Malta - Dance (Our Own Party) by The Busker

Score: 30/40

Notes: Perfect sax part

Final Ranking: didn't make it to the grand finale >:(

As the comment suggests, the strength of this song is the killer sax riffs (riffs multiple!! they just kept delivering!). The song as a whole is a super fun time, with a fun message and a goofy music video, once again things that I look for when I listen to Eurovision songs. Plus they're from Malta! A micronation represented by people actually from there! I feel like that alone deserves bonus points (I mean Malta only has half a million people, less than Wyoming).

2. Portugal - Ai Coração by Mimicat

Score: 38/40

Notes: Cabaret flamenco

Final Ranking: 23rd

This song reminds me a lot of Fanfare Ciocarlia in the best way. Its quick, full of brass, and makes me want to dance. It's also all in Portuguese and the live performance was absolutely mesmerizing. I don't know exactly what this genre is called, but I'm such a fan. Give me fast-paced music and some brass and I'm in love.

Finland - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Score: 39/40

Notes: Why did the bridge keep going

Final Ranking: 2nd

C'mon, did you really think that I would put any other song at number one? This song hooks you from the beginning, has an aggressively European synth riff, nonsense Finnish lyrics, an inexplicable heavy metal chorus, this song is absolutely wonderful and one of the best to come from Eurovision. This song clearly stands out from all the others, and is the only one that I know of that made its way into international Tiktok. I mean if my roommate knows a Eurovision song without my involvement that means that it has some cultural power.

Unfortunately, I don't think this song is perfect. The bridge kind of ruins the momentum of the song by steering it into generic pop and for some reason they keep that overtone for the rest of the song. They were so close to committing to the bit, then they weirdly tried to make it sound normal. That aside, this is clearly the best song of this year and I am convinced that they rigged it.

I think the only songs I actually liked enough to keep listening to in my daily life are the last two, which is pretty bad for a Eurovision year. I just hope they do something good next year in stupid Sweden.

(and my least favorites this year were Georgia and Greece, really bringing down the letter "G." Luckily Germany brought a great song to make up for those two.)

#eurovision #eurovision 2023 #music review #music recommendation

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twin-wolves-123 · 1 year

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a rant about writing. or my professor. maybe both.

I don't know who the hell will see this, the only thing my blog did in the past two months was collect 20 bot followers it looks like but

today (well yesterday, i'm writing this past midnight)

i had a class. It is my intro to fiction writing class.

I've responded to like, what one writing prompt on here? idk i think writing is fun, creative writing is cool, id like to be a better writer, i might like to do something with it someday, i grew up on ff.net if that means anything to people nowadays

My professor, im sure, is a very talented man. he's had published shit and is a "good writer"TM

we submitted short stories, like 10 pages ish for today's class. And one thing my professor did for the first student's story discussed today was ask, "Why did you write this?"

This kid wrote a story about the country hypothetically having a government replaced by AI. Work doesn't exist anymore, everyone is like partying, living it up or whatever and the story is about a character in college who basically felt like he worked hard his whole life for nothing and is, understandably, upset about the changes. College class gets suspended and nobody is like, doing anything with their life. It was pretty interesting. Most of the class agreed.

And when the kid responded that he was interested in how this one character would respond to a scenario like this, and he was interested in the development of a society like this given how popular ChatGPT is becoming and whatnot, the professor basically said that those answers weren't good enough.

What the fuck?

I still don't really understand the answer he was looking for, he did say something like it has to be, like, what the author is "trying to say", i guess what emotion or thought they're linking to the story

And so he eventually said, he was thinking that maybe a scenario like this could happen to him in the future.

ANd the professor goes, "Well if it's anxiety about not having a job in the future, why didn't you just write about that instead?" ANd then he proceeded to make several comparisons to other anxious scenarios that i felt were way off base, like getting a divorce...

What the hell? Like, he wrote about what he wrote about, what is the justification FOR writing about those other scenarios?

anyways, the kid whose story got discussed before mine he liked, I guess. It was about his immigrant father and one of his father's story which becomes an extended metaphor and like, growing up in the states as his son kind of- i won't go into too much detail. The point is, he liked it.

Because right after discussing his, he explicitly made a point. And I am not making this up. That he doesn't ask people who wrote "good" stories (and he said a qualified good, as in he also said he knows that they can't be good, but they're good for what they are, or whatever) why they wrote this, because those stories already have a right to exist on their own. And then he turns to me, and says very pointedly, "Why did you write this?"

What the fuck is your problem?

Like, if they wrote a good story good on them, if I wrote a shitty one oh well, but what is the point of you explicitly reiterating that point to the entire class to emphasize how bad my story was? How does that help me? Before you've even actually given me any valuable feedback?

I wrote a story about a wannabe filmmaker who recruited two talented actors to help him make a short film to submit for a film competition. So i told him why i wrote this. I had a scene in my head that I wanted to continue about a shitty filmmaker getting yelled at by the actor (after the director is trying to critique how the actor played one scene), who is much more talented than him, and I wanted to flesh out this character. "Why? Why did you want to flesh this out?" he asks. And I talk about wanting to write about someone with very little talent working hard, sucking, but potentially being able to make something out of it. "Why?" Because it's relatable? "Everything is relatable. Why did you write this? Why are you writing this about movies?" Because making movies requires technical skill that's difficult to learn on your own, and I thought it was fitting. "Everything can be difficult to learn. Why is the story not about music, or someone getting their grades up?" No matter what answer I gave, he wasn't satisfied. (this is going back to the first kid he critiqued, too. It's not the story because that's not what I wrote? I didn't find that as interesting, and those aren't the stories I wanted to tell?) I didn't say that, i eventually just answered, "I don't know how to answer your question. I don't know what form my answer should take if I shouldn't have written the story for those reasons."

So he eventually changes it to, what am I trying to accomplish with the story, or make the reader feel? So i answer: sympathy and hope.

This is another part that really fucking grinds my gears.

So he asks, "Why is this not a comedy?"

What?

And basically he talks about how, he thought it was comical. This nincompoop (he used this word) director who hasn't put in the work trying to make a film with these actors who do know what they're doing, like, yeah. That's fair. He deserves to get yelled at. Why should the reader feel sympathy for him? I think it's funny. Why wouldn't anyone be annoyed by this character? Haven't you been annoyed by people like that?

First of all, maybe I don't think like that? Why is that your first instinct?

And i respond to him that i can be annoyed, but I can still be sympathetic toward them? Why do those have to be mutually exclusive?

And the question that I still have in my head is, what? Yes, he hasn't put in the work YET, but the point is that he's new and trash at this. And how the fuck is someone supposed to get BETTER at anything if they're not given a chance to try?

Is this really what you think of other people?

I do ask him how I was supposed to make the reader sympathetic toward him, to which he does give a couple of answers, like be more in the filmmaker's head, or have the actors be worse rather than talented (but that's not the point of my story... they're supposed to be more experienced than he is...)

But this whole time, he's still pretty much just been asking me the question, "Why?" Or "Why not x other thing?"

He critiqued some of my awkward dialogue and descriptions, sure, which was some actual advice. But not one thing he's said during that constant asking of "Why?" has been valuable feedback for what I put down on the page, nor has it made me a better writer.

And like, I eventually pose to him my own question of, "I don't have an answer to why NOT it's about those things (like the music or the grades thing), but I don't understand why it HAS to be, and why it can't be what I wrote about."

And he then goes, "have you been on a movie set?" And talks about how, if I write a story in a world of movies, I have to be convincing enough that I know what I'm talking about. Like how to make a movie, the lighting, the process, the set, etc. And if I can't be, it's not smart to write the story about that to begin with (which you could've just said in the first place and moved on to critiquing my actual writing, I feel like?).

This part, he has a point that I understand. But now I'm left with, am I only supposed to write about things I'm already very familiar with? I can't write about imagined scenarios or anything outside my field of expertise? Because I feel like that's just so limiting. And I, frankly don't have mastery in many fields. So I just, can't write about anything? What?

He also didn't give feedback for me on anything past the first scene.

tldr.

Yes, I'm an amateur, I don't see how you making a point of how garbage my story was compared to the last one helps with that.

Why should people not be given a chance to better their skills? Isn't that the point of this whole class, actually?

And I have no real refutation for the last thing: yes a story is better and more believable if the writer has specific knowledge about certain aspects of the story but... Something about that just doesn't sit right with me. Wouldn't the world be deprived of a lot of really amazing work if people could ONLY write about things they're extremely familiar with? I'm sure you're a great writer and all, and I'm sure that, as an amateur, there's a lot that I maybe can't understand, but why can't people write about what they want to write about? Why can't people explore certain characters or scenarios because they find them interesting? Why can't people tell the stories they WANT to tell?

Why is that insufficient?

plus you spending half an hour asking why i wrote something when i already wrote it, asking "why" again to each answer i give that you deem insufficient, instead of actually going over better writing technique, how to do plot/characters, and critiquing what's on the damn page...

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass. Maybe this is just me being too amateur or immature to understand, but there has to be a better use of time than that.

#writing #creative writing #college #class #fiction writing #fiction #idfk this just. made me really angry #student #university

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wedding-shemp · 1 year

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I posted 2,464 times in 2022

582 posts created (24%)

1,882 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@catgirl-dannyelfman

@binomist

@naturallyoccurringminotaur

@z0mbievalentine

@literary-potat0

I tagged 621 of my posts in 2022

#acnh - 53 posts

#tunez - 15 posts

#spotify - 13 posts

#scream - 12 posts

#my art - 10 posts

#z0mbievalentine - 10 posts

#borderlands 2 - 6 posts

#king shit - 6 posts

#flashing - 6 posts

#bl2 - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but like am i gonna go bloop da bloop heres 16gb of ram i got on amazon and try to put it into my computer only to discover its incompatibl

My Top Posts in 2022:

look man here's the thing. i hear people talking about ai "art" and saying "well it's bad that the datasets they're trained on are using stolen assets but the technology isn't inherently bad" and look. no. no, listen, the stolen assets are a symptom of a larger problem. these programs are made by and for people who see art as a commodity. that's why they feel entitled to art they do not own. framing this as "ai art would be fine if they used data they owned" is missing the forest for the trees. this contempt and hostility for working artists and their livelihood is a symptom and not a bug. you can't do an ethical version of technology whose end-goal is to eliminate the already shrinking pool of entry level art jobs. this is hateful vile technology that is going to have devestating consequences on the art community and the fact that I'm seeing people who dislike ai "art" being framed as snobby elitists who want to ruin other people's fun makes me want to chew glass. this is not hipsters being mean to poor widdle proletariat tumblr users who want free pictures of their ocs and can't afford a commission this is working artists who are already scramnling to stay afloat in an industry that devalues them at every turn watching techbros build a Push A Button And Free Art Comes Out machine and realizing that no matter how shitty that art is the people with money will choose free art over good art whenever they can. but you guys want to make this into Let People Enjoy Things. okay.

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

obsessed with these new armed forces ads that are blatantly saying "modern life is empty and alienating, come join us to have a semblance of purpose" like not to be one of those armchair cult experts but are those not the exact same recruiting tactics of a cult

165 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

Actually international woman's day was originally a pagan holiday that honored the pagan goddess Woom-hæn. They won't teach you this in high schools

265 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

i know everything about it sucks on a deep systemic level but idk i thnk it's kind of adorable that england has a queen, like im sorry to you gus about the monarchy and all but its very very funny that you have one very old lady who is like the Head Old Lady and there's a big party going on about how long she has been the Head Old Lady. that's DEMENTED and I love it.

298 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

it is his birthday.....

430 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

the fact that two of my most reblogged from blogs were my own blogs...

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #also the top posts dont count posts that i deleted so uh #take that one with a grain of salt lol

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widow-maximov · 3 years

Text

Miscommunication

Pairing: Natasha x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, sexual suggestion, some angst.

Summary: Being younger in a relationship can always bring issues, but how will you deal with them is more important.

Word count: 4.5k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

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Through out your whole life there was always this strange attraction to women, but not just any women; older women. You would always catch yourself looking at your female teachers rather than girls your age.

Obviously the good looking ones, not the old grandma's that would think they own the school. Nevertheless when you joined the Avengers, you were met with a lot of people who were a lot more older than you but you didn't really care.

For you age is a number and some of those numbers limit you to certain things but you didn't really care. Whilst joining the Avengers you felt like you fit in immediately, which was a big deal to you.

You absolutely loved missions, people blamed it on you being young and had so much energy but in reality, it was just you being you. You loved kicking ass, especially ass that deserved a good beating.

In a way, you and Natasha shared some similarities, the both of you wanted to save everyone and if anything went bad you partly blame yourself for not acting fast enough, that's why missions with you and Natasha always went smoothly.

That didn't go unnoticed by the redhead, she took an interest in you when she noticed how dedicated you were to everything you put your mind to. In a way it reminded her of herself and she knew she wanted to know more about you.

She wasn't much of a open person so she tried her best when it came to you, at first you were intimidated by the Russian but the more you spent your time around the team, the more you saw her relax, she would invite you to movie night when it was only her and Wanda and even went out of the way to train you which you took without hesitation.

Each training session was Natasha flooring you and you being distracted by her, your mind seems to be somewhere else but you were able to hide it around her. Just because you were distracted didn't mean you didn't get better, you could easily floor Bucky if you really tried which was a success for you.

Natasha took it upon herself to teach you a lot of things and how they were done, causing you to develop this feeling of always wanting to be around her.

The more you spend time with Natasha the stronger your feelings have gotten, to the point where the want to kiss her turned into the need. You wanted to distant yourself from her but you just couldn't, her smile, her laugh and the way she would gently touch you whenever she laughed so hard.

It wasn't possible for you to even distant yourself so you decided to face your fears of rejection which was new to you as you were always confident, but confessing your love to someone that could possible consider you as their child made you nervous and scared.

Taking a big breath, you knocked on her door and when she answered, you couldn't move as if you froze right there, causing the redhead to get up and open the door.

There she stood, in shorts, hair loose and a shirt "Are you okay?"

You nodded "Yeah... Can we talk?"

She eyed you first, trying to somehow read of you why you wanted to talk, she moved to the side to let you in, closing her door and facing you "What did you want to talk about?"

You gulped as she finally faced you, you knew this could go two ways, the rejection way or the okay way "I have something to confess to you"

She narrowed her eyes "Did you find someone else to watch movies with?"

You let out a nervous laugh and shook your head "No, no one can replace you"

She smiled proudly at your words "Well then what's this confession?"

You took a deep breath as your eyes locked with hers "I like you"

This time Natasha froze at your words and you stared at her terrified of her next words but there was no words coming from her causing panic to erupt from you.

"It's fine if you don't, I-I just felt like it would be best to tell you rather than distancing myself. You might like people your age and not like age gaps which is fine! I on the other hand don't mind age gap-"

She melted at the sight of you panicking, the way you ranted at the thought of Natasha not feeling the same, what she did next was surprising to you on so many levels.

She wasn't far from you, so she took couple steps which you didn't notice as you were rumbling, she grabbed your face and pulled it towards hers, your lips met hers.

Your body went into shock but the movement of her lips against yours pulled you out and you matched her lips pace, you were melting at her soft lips so when she pulled away, your eyes were still closed with minimum shock coursing through your body.

She laughed slightly which caused you to open your eyes "Found an easy way to shut you up"

You smiled "Does that mean you like me back?"

She nodded as she moved her hands from your face to your neck and your hands found it's way to her hips, pulling her closer "I'll need you to say it"

She rolled her eyes playfully "I like you too Y/n"

Your smile never disappeared as she continued "I don't care about the age gap either, I just care about the person you are"

She opened her mouth to say something but you kissed her this time, she smiled against the kiss and when you pulled away, you rested your forehead against hers, allowing the moment to sink into you.

And that's how you started to date Natasha, the people who the two of you decided to tell were more than accepting of your relationship which was important to you.

Some say you have a secret relationship but for you and Natasha only important people knew and that was enough.. Or well that's what you thought.

Natasha has never been a jealous type of person but when it came to you, some doubts have resurface, she never wanted to voice it to you but she always wanted to just shout from the roof tops that she loves you and that are you are hers.

But when you wanted to just tell close people, she respected you and decided to go along with it, even if it was harder to do so, she had to do it for you.

There were so many people always staring at you, trying to get your attention, flirting with you but you never cared because you had your eyes on Natasha and Natasha only.

You thought telling close people would be best to not cause trouble for the Russian, especially since you are younger this could cause conflict and you didn't want that.

There was some miscommunication between the two of you that neither knew about, causing doubt jealousy and worry. When the two of you were alone, everything was fine but as soon as you stepped out into crowds, all Natasha wanted to do was kiss you so hard that your head spins and mark you in front of everyone as hers.

Today the two of you planned to spend your whole day together, not leaving each others company and just spend this time watching any shows that you needed to catch up on but things changed unfortunately for the both.

You had your head resting on Natasha's chest as she played with your hair, you couldn't concentrate on the movie but how Natasha's fingers felt in your hair, the way she would curl your hair in her finger, letting shivers run down your spine.

Natasha on the other hand was focused on the movie that was playing, she didn't even notice the effect she had on you just by her fingers burying themselves into your hair.

You couldn't hold yourself back anymore, you moved your face more into her neck and when the Russian's attention was back on the TV, you attached your lips to her neck, working your way up to her sweet spot and sucking on it lightly.

Her attention shifted as quickly as it was on the TV "What are you doing?" Her voice was mere whisper as her eyes closed at the feeling of your lips against her soft neck.

You kissed up to her ear, slowly making sure to tease her just enough and whispered "I want you Natty"

Her eyes opened at your words, you always knew how to turn her on with just couple of words, she didn't waste anymore time as she straddled your hips and pinned your hands to either side of your head.

You had a slight grin across your lips as her eyes were consumed with lust "What do you want Y/n/n?"

The way her voice lowered when she asked you the question, you knew it was working so you smirked as you stared into her eyes "I want you to fuck me Natty"

That's all she needed, she smashed her lips against yours as her hands started to wondered over your body, trying to get underneath your shirt just to feel your skin against hers, letting your hands free getting tangled in her hair, pulling her even closer.

You moaned at the contact of her slightly cold hand against your stomach, which she used as an opportunity to stick her tongue to explore your mouth more.

As the kiss started to get more heated with you practically pulling off Natasha's shirt, but you were interrupted "Agent Romanoff, Everyone has been requested to Tony Stark's party tonight"

The advanced AI spoke, making the both of you jump, your breathing was heavy as Natasha muttered "We can skip.."

"Tony said no skipping as according to Mr Stark 'It's very important' that the whole team shows up" The AI spoke up again and this time leaving silence behind.

You sighed as you looked at Natasha's still closed eyes who was breathing heavily "We need to get ready.."

She shook her head as she reattached her lips to your neck "We have time, we can squeeze this in"

You bit your lip to suppress a moan, not wanting to fuel Natasha on, you gently pushed her "I take long to get ready and we still need to shower Tasha"

She groaned as she unglued herself from your neck, looking into your eyes this time "Why does this happen in moments like this.."

Your hands moved the hair our of Natasha's face, holding it in place to have a better view on her face "Lucky isn't on our side today"

You kissed her but she tried to deepen the kiss again, only for you to pull away "Natasha..."

Her hand travelled up and down your body, in places that only she knew would make you melt right underneath her, she remembered every little detail about your body which only made this more difficult to stop.

You were already melting but you knew that there were more important things to attend, so you flipped her so now she was below you, you smiled at her and pecked her lips as you gotten up, earning a groan from the Russian.

"You're starting to act like a grandma, get up and get ready"

She raised her head to look at you with her brows raised "I'm not a grandma!"

You chuckled at her defence "Well then get ready and meet me in my room"

She sighed as you walked out, heading to your room to get ready. By the time you finished showering, Natasha was already ready, she was just waiting until you gotten dressed so the both of you can walk to the party.

Dressing was the easy and the fastest for you, you were dressed as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, all you needed was Natasha to zip you up, which she did. You stood in front of the mirror with the redhead behind you.

"You look красивая (beautiful)" You always loved when Natasha spoke Russian to you, there was something about how it rolled off her tongue with ease that fascinated you.

"Ну ты выглядишь потрясающе (Well you look stunning)" You spoke as you turned around to face her.

She raised her eyebrows at you with shock "Since when do you speak Russian?"

You shrugged with a smile across your lips "I might've been taking lessons on the down low"

She smiled widely at you, she knew that it will be her favourite thing to hear now, the way it sounded made her stomach do flips just at the thought of you speaking Russian again.

She leaned down and planted a kiss, resting her forehead against yours, staring into your eyes, in this moment she wanted to tell you how much she loved you but it was stopping her.

Her doubt and fear was stopping her, she was afraid that you would leave her eventually for someone better than her, so she supressed those words as she pulled away "Let's go"

You forced a smile across your face as you linked your arm with hers and walked out of your room. When you gotten to the roof top, you parted away from Natasha and walked towards the team as they complimented you and were practically drooling.

Natasha hated that, she hated how much they drooled over you. She wasn't jealous of the attention you were getting, she was jealous of how they looked at you; As an opportunity to snatch you away from her.

She always avoided confrontation about her feelings, being afraid it would only drive you away, Natasha has been in relationships before but they never worked out, especially when she raised her concerns they called her crazy and things started to only go down hill from there.

She didn't want that, she would rather suffer in silence than lose you and watch you be happy with someone else. People say love is blinding, because it really is, she never managed to notice the things you would do for her.

Of course she noticed but she never really understood why, she was never treated with the same respect and concern as you were treating her. She loved that you tried to always act like you were older which she didn't mind, she just loved watching you try.

For you on the other hand, you felt like you would never be enough for the redhead, being a lot younger than her could cause some doubts in you as well.

She was a lot more mature and understood life a lot more better than you did, she went through much more than you and you were terrified you would never be as close to what she experience.

But even if you were scared, you always tried to catch it up with something, like learning more Russian to understand Natasha's past better, to someone it might seem small but to you it meant everything.

As you were amongst everyone, Bucky was really close to you, he placed his hand on your hip which Natasha observed from the bar and each time the grip on the glass she was drinking from tighten.

Clint made his way towards the Russian with caution as he looked in the way she was looking "What's making you want to strangle this glass Romanoff?"

She sighed as she let go of the glass and looked at Clint "I'm not sure what you are talking about"

He rolled his eyes "You can try fooling others but I know you" He looked towards you and how Bucky had his hand on your hip to pull you closer into him "Where is the Natasha who would've made her way towards him and nearly kill him on spot?"

She shrugged as she looked back at her glass to take a sip of whatever she was able to pour from the bar "Drowning in alcohol"

He laughed "Y/n changed you so much"

She looked at him as she narrowed her eyes which stopped his laughed "Okay, maybe not"

She sighed again "I just don't want to cause trouble"

He eyed her and then the situation you were in as he leaned on the bar "From what I can see, he is just holding her if he did anything Y/n didn't like, she would've pushed him away"

"That's not the issue here, its the fact that everyone wants her" Natasha finally huffed in annoyance.

"Why haven't you told everyone you're dating her?" He asked as he kept his eyes on you.

Natasha leaned back into her hand "I don't know if that's something she wants"

He looked at Natasha with brows raised "You didn't talk to her about this?"

Natasha shook her head to answer Clint "Why not?"

"I don't want to ruin this, you know my relationships always ended up in the trash" Natasha mumbled as she took a drink.

He shook his head at her "Y/n is different, you should talk to her Nat"

As time went on, you have shifted around the place, more people came to talk to you and you were having an okay time, you wanted Natasha to be by your side but she was just sitting by the bar.

You saw Wanda talking to Tony which you took as an opportunity to approach her, she was your best friend and you trusted her with your whole life unlike some people here.

"Wands, hey!" You greeted her as she pulled you into a hug when her eyes landed on you.

"Excuse me, I will go get something to drink" Tony excused himself as he made his way towards the bar.

"Y/n how are you?" She asked with a smile across her face.

"I'm okay but I wanted to ask you for a small favour.." You showed her with your fingers how small the favour was but she knew you well enough to expect something big.

Her smile dropped as she narrowed her eyes "What is it you want?"

You dramatically scoffed "Uh! It's nothing bad!"

"I just wanted you to read Natasha's mind and tell me why she is so upset"

Wanda's mouth hang open as she stared at you "Why don't you talk to her?"

"I know she won't tell me, I just want to know so I know how to fix whatever is upsetting her.."

"Pleaseee Wands" You begged her which usually worked on Wanda whenever you needed her help.

She sighed as she pitched her nose "Only this time Y/n"

You squeaked as you threw yourself at Wanda "Thank you thank you, I own you one"

"Okay okay, I need to breath" She spoke up as her voice changed a little from the squeeze you were giving her.

You let go of her as you closely watch her do her thing, it took seconds for her to come back as she stared at you blankly "What did you read?"

She shook her head "You two are so oblivious. She is jealous Y/n"

You knitted your brows together at Wanda's words "Why would she be jealous?"

"Because she has to watch as everyone flirts with you and she can't do anything about it" She spilled as you looked at you and rolled her eyes at your obliviousness.

She walked away from you when she noticed that you were trying to understand what she just said, you turned your body towards the bar as you started to make your way towards Natasha but you were stopped by Carol.

"Y/n! There you are, I was looking for you" She smiled from ear to ear.

"I actually need to talk to someone-" You tried to get out of her grasp but it was failed.

"You can do that after a game of spin the bottle!" She excitedly spoke to you as she dragged you towards where the team was gathering.

"Spin the bottle? We are teenagers again?" You laughed as you saw everyone gather around the bottle.

Natasha was dragged by Clint to at least be apart of something instead of sitting by the bar. Whenever it was your turn to kiss someone, the bottle either faced nothing or yourself.

You turned around with your back to the team as you hugged yourself and started to pretend to kiss yourself, making the team laugh, even Natasha cracked a smile at your act.

You turned back as you stared at the bottle "Okay, someone else try this because I feel like this bottle doesn't want me to kiss anyone"

Bucky laughed as he placed his hand on your shoulder "Okay, Carol you can go now"

She nodded as she bend down and span the bottle, it landed on Bruce, they both laughed and kissed and then returned to their places.

Bruce span the bottle as everyone watched carefully, it was close to landing on you but it landed on Bucky instead, you looked at Bucky with a laughter and he just rolled his eyes at you, they pecked each other lips as they both pulled a funny face after.

Bucky smirked as he bend down and span the bottle "Maybe you'll be lucky enough to land a kiss today Y/n"

You chuckled as you shook your head "That's not lucky, that's the opposite Bucky"

Natasha looked down as she smirked, she wanted to walk over to you and just kiss you for just saying that but she couldn't, you looked over at Natasha and saw the smirk which caused a small smile to spread across your lips.

The bottle landed on Thor who was next to him, you had a smug smile across your lips "See Bucky! You were lucky enough to earn a kiss from the god of thunder"

Everyone laughed, they kissed and it repeated until it was Steve's turn, he span the bottle as he watched the bottle spin, it landed on Natasha, you suppressed the feeling of doubt as you watched Steve make his way towards Natasha.

Everyone knew they had something between them and that included you to know as well, you wanted to stop them but it was as if something was stopping you.

Steve had a smirk across his lips "I think we are meant to be Romanoff"

Natasha was speechless, he leaned down and her eyes darted to you, the way you stared at them and before she could move, he kissed her. You cleared your throat as you looked anywhere but at the sight of your girlfriend being kissed by her ex.

He moved away from her and walked back to his place with a smug smile, he eyed every guy standing not really thinking Natasha could be into girls as well.

She wiped her mouth as she bend down and span the bottle, you watched the bottle and when it landed on Steve again, you excused yourself to the bathroom.

Even if it was a game and the kissing probably didn't mean anything to the Russian, it hurt you to watch Steve think he finally claimed Natasha. You expected Natasha to follow you but she didn't, so you took a deep breath, fix the makeup that ran down your face and walked back out there.

They weren't playing the game anymore as they scattered all over the party, so you made your way towards the bar, getting 2 shots and drinking them in one go without anything to chase it after.

You cleared your throat as you watched Natasha force a smile on her beautiful lips as Steve flirted with her, you knew how she felt and you weren't going to let this go on like this.

You ordered another shot for courage, you definitely needed it and watched as Steve pulled the redhead into him like she was his, you narrowed your eyes which was filled with determination as you marched over to him.

You cleared your throat which caused Steve to look over at you "Sorry Y/n but I'm not available right now" He looked back at Natasha with a smile.

You crossed your arms "Actually, I was going to tell you to drop your hands of Natasha"

He looked back at you with annoyance "Why?"

This caused the team's attention to be shifted towards the scene, Wanda smiled as she watch you finally do something about this miscommunication between you and Natasha.

"Could you step away so I can show you?" You asked him calmly as he dropped his hands from Natasha and took a step back.

You watched him before taking a deep breath and shifting your attention to the woman you love "What are you doing Y/n/n?"

"Y/n/n?" Steve questioned but was ignored as you sadly smiled at Natasha.

"What I should've done in the first place.."

Natasha was going to question you but you were faster, you took a step forward as you pulled her into you, just like you done many times before, and smashed your lips against hers, it was a gentle kiss something that happened often between the two of you.

Steve raised his brows at what was in front of him, Clint had a smirk across his lips and Wanda cheered you on as the rest just stood there shocked.

You pulled away as you looked over at Steve "Why Steve? Because Natasha is my girlfriend"

The redhead's eyes widen at your words as she had a smile across her lips, he backed away with his hands up and nodded as he walked away not wanting to argue.

You looked back at Natasha "I'm sorry Natty"

She was going to protest against your apology but you continued "I should've spoke with you about this decision before making one for the both of us. I didn't want to make you to be uncomfortable or cause trouble with the team"

Natasha shook her head "I'm sorry as well детка (baby) I didn't speak up about what I felt either, and you would never make me uncomfortable, I have the best time with you by my side"

You smiled at her words as you placed a little kiss on her lips, whilst everyone around you made cute sounds at the scene before them, you turned your head to look at them with practically tears in their eyes.

Natasha giggled quietly as she rested her head against the side of yours since your face was turned and she whispered "Plus you looked so hot when you get jealous"

You chuckled at her words as you felt the courage wear off but still having enough to say what you finally wanted to. You pulled away from her as you stared into her eyes, swallowing the fear down as she still had a smile spread across her lips.

"I love you Talia" You spilled it out as you had a glimpse of fear in your eyes.

This only fuel her smile to spread more widely at your words "I love you too Y/n/n"

She kissed you as you let out a sigh of relief and smiled at the touch of her lips, with everyone cheering it was only her to could feel and hear. Your heart beating one hundred miles per hour as she confirmed she felt the same, proving that no matter how old the both of you are, she still was just as afraid as you were....

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Tag list: @eilarch, @wandanatblogs, @madamevirgo @diaryoflife

#natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha fluff #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #reader #marvel #the avengers #natasha romanov

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tiptapricot · 3 years

Text

I’ve been having a lot of Evil Robo BnT thoughts recently, so here’s a bunch of them! This ended up pretty long just as a forwarning djjdjd

Post DeNomolos, Evil BnT are forced to do a lot of self exploration and discovery

They’re two robots from the far future, stuck in the past with each other and the two humongously important historical figures they were not only sent back to kill, but also physically made to look and sound exactly like, with no way back to their own time and no further reason to carry out the mission they were created for

It’s a lot to adjust to

(Three uses of the f-slur near the end in a canon compliant/reclaimed usage context, and implied sexual content, but extremely mild)

It still doesn’t have much of an impact on them at first though, besides some anger and annoyance. They don’t feel emotions in the same way or to the same depth that humans do, so they kind of fall back on: this sucks and that guy was a dick, guess we have to live in the stupid past now, and that’s the extent of it

But they’re also AIs, and AIs learn and grow

They hide out in a cheap apartment for the first few months or so back, going out to steal money to pay for rent and to pick up movies and stuff, but it’s exposure to the world, it’s living. And the more they interact with people, the more media they consume, the more the rigid walls of their programming break down and expand

And that’s when things start getting complicated

Because that’s when things like morals, sense of self, purpose in life, and, to their horror, real emotions start coming into play

Their evil edges start corroding, things stop being as straightforward, and they start developing into their own complex people

Being Bill and Ted with a few glorified descriptors stuck on the front starts feeling… weird, especially when they inevitably end up running into them again and being around them more

Because they’re supposed to be Bill and Ted, but they aren’t, and yet they can’t completely deny the parts of themselves that are….. it’s frustrating

As a first step in both asserting and exploring their individuality, they choose their own names

Evil Bill chooses Willis, or Will for short, and Evil Ted goes with Theoneous, Theo for short

It’s different enough to feel like their own thing, while still appeasing the ingrained itch to take BnT’s place

There are gaps like that, a disconnect/mental dissonance between their consciousnesses and the knowledge that they’re robots, circuitboards and wires and code, like a separation between what they feel is them and what they feel is the robot

That’s an experience that continues as they grow, especially as they try and figure out what to do with their lives. It’s tough sometimes, to figure out where the programming ends and where their own wants and drives begin

They’re the only ones familiar enough with future tech to help each other when they experience technical issues or need repairs, and the only ones they feel comfortable being that physically vulnerable with

It leads to them being kind of codependent, but it’s warranted in a lot of ways

They also naturally stick closer to each other, because even though they grow to have emotions and are able to care about people, they aren’t totally mushy

They don’t get as upset about things, or as excited, and while they form their own kind of love for the people they end up caring about (without admitting it), they’re still never able to connect with humans in the same way they connect with each other

It’s this inherent wall, a difference in how they experience the world

Their forms of affection are machine based, just like how humans are human based. They’ll give each other cold packs when it’s hot or they’ve been moving a lot, they’ll do evening maintenance on each other, chatting while one of them has their hand in the other’s chest cavity, and they jump on each other or bang their shoulders together super hard, because they can’t feel a thing and they’re durable enough for it, and that’s fun to them

That doesn’t really carry over to human interaction though, and a lot of times they end up coming across as cold or mean

They generally have a rougher seeming relationship than most humans. There’s a lot of teasing and insults and slapping, which turns most people off from them, but that’s how they show they’re comfortable (it’s also how they show they don’t like people, but there’s a subtle and meaningful difference there, AKA that they won’t purposefully try to harm the former party)

Robots process sound differently too, for them it’s more of a physical experience than just listening

Will’s guilty pleasure is that he likes to listen to piano (secretly), especially Debussy and other classical that sounds similar. Something about it makes his circuitry feel good and fuzzy and calms him down

He doesn’t feel comfortable telling Theo about it, it still feels like a dumb pussweed thing to be into (plus it continues to make him have some most non metal thoughts about kissing and That’s DEFINITELY not something he can share)

They also both really like death metal. Though they were loosely programmed with the knowledge of BnT’s music taste, it’s not quite their style, and they lean towards the more intense stuff

They do that in most fields though, since it usually takes higher energy stuff to get them going/excited/into something

That’s why they roughhouse a lot, and mess things up, and drive recklessly, it forces their mechanics to process more things more quickly, and as a result gives them their own form of dopamine/adrenaline

Sometimes things backfire, they’ve fucked themselves up accidentally on more then one occasion when stuff goes too far or isn’t what they expect, but they’re always there to patch each other up

When their synth skin gets ripped or torn they don’t always bother to repair it, and underneath there’s a layer of see through hard plastic and their bodies look like those clear case electronics that were popular in the 90s (idea cred to @juiceboxfrog !)

They also have inspector gadget-like telescoping stretch arms at their wrist and ankle joints, but they don’t use those much because they’re unsettling to most humans. Definitely a leg up when they want to climb places the shouldn’t, though (idea cred to @showbiz-za !)

Theo is more prone to needing fix ups than Will, since the extra wiring that was installed for the time and space spanning camera DeNomolos gave him made him more susceptible to short circuiting, over heating, and other glitches

After awhile he just takes his left eye out and leaves it like that, keeping his hair in his face to cover it. It doesn’t do anything for the internal parts of it he still has, but it’s not like it’s a loss. The connection port kept sparking, and it was uncomfortable and kept fucking with his vision, so it wasn’t worth it

Plus he didn’t really like that it used to be a camera… or still could be

One of the things Will and Theo both have to get used to is actually valuing their own privacy and autonomy

When DeNomolos was around they were just his tools, tools that he didn’t even like

They honestly grow to resent him pretty fast, both with his treatment of them, and, when their emotions are especially out of control, his creation of them

They don’t talk about it much, or when they do it’s mainly anger, not addressing or showing the more raw parts they do feel, because that’s still foreign to them, and their circuits weren’t designed to process or understand more complex stuff

Complex stuff like how being around Ted more makes Theo develop a certain… insecurity

It’s not like the connections are hard to make: he looks like Ted, he sounds like Ted, he was meant to be Ted, Ted has a dickweed of a dad, and Theo had a dickweed of a creator, Ted has Bill and Theo has Will

But Theo doesn’t have Deacon

And while he doesn’t want to be exactly like Ted, part of him also does (it was made to). Part of him wants to be human, to have those natural connections and someone to watch over

But he doesn’t and it’s weird*

He tries to ignore it, chalks it up to his drive still attempting to put him on his original track of replacing Ted, and therefore making him more aware of the family roles Ted has

For all he knows that is what it is, he’s just a robot after all

Even though they aren’t really ones for mushy love, Will and Theo do love each other

You can’t not when you know the other person inside and out, literally

They joke a lot about that when they’re doing repairs (“Dude you’re holding my heart, pretty faggy of you.”), and though they laugh, there’s an unspoken intimacy to it, something that sits warm in their wires and goes beyond platonic; something (though they would never describe it as such) loving about getting to take care of each other, and getting to get taken care of

The jokes also stop being jokes after awhile and take on a charge, morphing into unofficial flirting

Eventually that charge sparks, and their relationship becomes a different kind of physical. That’s new, too, a type of exploration neither of them are familiar with, but it’s nice, it’s good, and it’s easier to write off as casual and not meaningful than anything else (for the record I do think this works/plays out different for them than it does for humans, but I will nOt get into that here or anywhere lmao)

That arrangement doesn’t last forever, though, because one night Theo has a bad malfunction that cause him to completely power down, and it sends Will into a panic

It takes him almost an hour to fix the problem and for Theo to reboot, and when he comes back Will can’t stop touching him and checking in and it’s weird

“Why are you so worked up dude, this’s happened plenty of times.”

“Yeah I know you just… you fritzed out and went limp and it freaked me out dude.”

“So? You know this is nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re kinda acting like such a pussweed dude.”

“I didn’t know what was wrong! That’s plenty of reason to be fucking worried!”

“Not for you! Not for us! Why the hell do you care so much this time?”

“Because I love you, asshole!”

And then there’s silence, and staring, and then Theo cracks a smile

“Heh, fag.”

Kissing after a confession, as it turns out, makes both of them short circuit, and they wake up three days later still tangled up on top of each other, half falling off the apartment couch

“Y’know… I think we’re both fags now dude,” Will whispers, and they chuckle in the space between their mouths. “I did it first though.”

*he does get this later with Billie and Thea, but that’s a whole separate post

(As one last thing wanted to add that Love Came Along by Pansy Division perfectly encapsulates the vibes of Will n Theo’s relationship to me, AKA something casual and almost humorous while still being super intimate and emotional, so def check it out if you’re ok with suuuuper explicitly sexual lyrics bfgjgfdfg)

Headcanons masterpost

#these two have been rattling around in my head for months I have so much brainrot #and y’know what you’re getting next? my *good* robo bnt brain rot #apologies in advance ive fleshed them out in my head wayyyy too much #with help from the discord💖#shout out as always bnt discord peeps ilyyyy #bnt #bill and ted #bill and ted’s bogus journey #evil bill #evil ted #evil robot bill and ted #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again

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theshabozengine · 3 years

Note

I don't watch Vtubers but I want to fuck that orange haired girl you keep posting. Also why is it sad she is graduating? Shouldn't you be happy she is getting her diploma? Education is important

Her name is Kiryu Coco.

"Graduation" in idol-speak means "leaving the company", be that because of being thrown out ("forcibly graduated" like Aloe or Hitomi) or just deciding that enough is enough.

Kiryu Coco was the VTuber that really pushed for Western involvement, since she came from America originally before moving to Japan to get more in touch with her roots. Without Kiryu Coco, the entire Hololive English branch wouldn't exist since it was her suggestion for it to be made. She also adores the community, often highlighting shitty memes they make and used to have a little news show where she would summarize everything that happened that week in idoling. Coco was also a ride-or-die bitch and stood up for her friend Haachama when the Chinese were bullying the fuck out of her because she happened to mention that a good portion of her viewership came from Taiwan. On her little news show, she brought up Taiwan and mentioned that she too had a large amount of viewers that watched from Taiwan (fun fact, Chinese fucks use Taiwan in VPNs and stuff to get around things. The 'Taiwanese viewer-base' was most likely just Chinese people using VPNs and such being retards.).

Because she stood up for her friend, both her and Haachama were suspended from Hololive for a while, while Cover the company behind Hololive tried to damage control. When they saw that there was nothing they could do to change the minds of fucking idiots who shit themselves over the mere mention of the word 'Taiwan', Cover cut their entire Chinese branch of idols and supposedly did their best to protect Coco and Haachama.

Eventually upon her return, Haachama still got a bit of hate, but the slimefucks realized it was a genuine 'mistake' and cut her a bit of slack. COCO, however, did so intentionally and with intent and they couldn't let that slide because they're retarded subhuman filth. Coco was bombarded with hatred and just so much evil that she had to basically sequester herself off away from the rest of Hololive as a whole.

She wasn't welcome to do crossovers, her news show was canceled, she wasn't allowed to appear in any of their 3-D skits, it was horrible the way she was treated. She did her absolute best to hang in there and even fought back against the Chinese as best she could, but then suspiciously things started to tilt towards the Chinese's favor. A red was made a Mod and started banning Coco's regulars, resulting in her crying on stream and her housemate Kanata having to console her, Cover made public comments towards them to try and get them to stop, it was a whole shitshow. After all this, Coco still tried to hang on, but...

Now she has chosen to leave Hololive. On the surface it appears to be mutual, but a lot of people theorize (please note this is people guessing and nothing has been said about whether its true or not from either Cover or Coco) that Cover made her life at Hololive so insufferable that she essentially had no choice but to quit. The truth of this matter will most likely come down to if they attempt to re-open the Chinese branch, where it will be incredibly obvious that they allowed Coco to be harassed until she just broke. No one knows for certain why Coco is leaving other than Coco, but it is a said affair none-the-less.

On a more personal note, Coco was my absolute favorite VTuber, and though she wasnt the one that introduced me to the concept (that would be Kizuna Ai who has her own entire list of drama associated with her), she has always been my favorite. The fact that she could stay so strong in spite of all the evil thrown her way made me love her even more, and it just hurts to know that we won't be able to see her anymore as our beloved dragon. Obviously she has her own personal channel, which according to some might be a reason she has to leave (again, nobody knows and this is a guess from certain parties that she didn't want to delete her personal streaming channel where she has another VTuber avatar and Cover basically gave her an ultimatum), and I'm obviously going to support her over there, but it'll sting a bit not seeing her interact with her friends over at Hololive. I don't think she's even allowed to show up in Kanata's streams once she's gone, and they're fucking housemates.

Overall, and I'm fairly sure that you were joking with the question but I thought I'd answer anyway, it's just an extremely sad situation especially since her fuckin birthday just happened. It hurts, it sucks, and I'm crushed we weren't able to protect her smile. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

#kiryu coco #coco kiryu #hololive #if I'm wrong about anything just give me a head-up or something

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avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

The Hamptons’ House: 2003 - 1

The Hamptons’ House: A Iron Man Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count: 2511

Pairing: Tony Stark x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut (MFFF bisexual fourway, oral sex, vaginal sex, daisy chain, face sitting, come play)

Synopsis: You and Tony meet up again for your week again. You both look forward to spending the time together, but when it becomes clear Tony’s life is spiraling out of control, you wonder how many more of these meetups you’re going to get.

2003: Part 1

It was strange how as you got older the time between parties seemed to be getting shorter. Three years was three years yet somehow as you turned your rental car into the driveway of Tony’s Hamptons’ house it felt like you’d only left a few weeks ago.

Not that a lot hadn’t happened in those years. A lot had happened, but the time might have flown by so fast simply due to half of it being experienced in that half-awake, living zombie phase of new parenthood.

Brody was born on the tenth of February 2001. While you and Kurt had been thrown into the life of new parenthood, the world had been thrown into turmoil thanks to terrorist attacks and the now named ‘war on terror’. Stark Industries were booming because of it and he was now listed as one of the top ten richest people on the planet. Not that that had changed very much. He had always been obscenely rich but he was still just your Tony.

When you sent him an email telling him about Brody’s birth with photos attached he’d sent you the biggest bouquet you'd ever seen with a blue teddy bear that had Brody and his date of birth embroidered on the foot.

You put the car into park and got out, grabbing your bag from the back. It was still very early. A catering van sat at the door and people were unloading things from it under the watchful eye of Happy and the DJ had his station wagon parked beside your ford focus rental, unloading his equipment.

You made your way to the door and Happy grinned at you when he saw you. “Hey, Cookie,” he said, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. “You're early.”

“Yeah, my flight just got in,” you said. “Figured Tony wouldn't mind if I came early and used his shower.”

Some caterers squeezed passed you holding large trays of vegetables and Happy tickets something off a chart. “The boss is in his room, I'm sure he won't care if you go straight up.”

“Thanks, Hap,” you said, heading inside. “It’s good to see you.”

As you passed through the hall you saw Tony’s assistant Pepper overseeing the restocking of the bar. He had been so sure she hated him and yet three years on and she was still working for him.

You went through the kitchen and up the secret staircase. Tony was hunched over his desk that looked out over the ocean working on a circuit board. He was wearing socks and a robe and beside him was an open bottle of Glenfiddich beside an almost empty glass.

You dropped your bag by the bed and approached him. He was so absorbed in what he was doing he hadn’t even looked up. You ran your hands over his shoulders and wrapped them around him.

“Woah…” Tony yelped and spun around, making you jump back a little to avoid getting kicked. “Cookie! You’re early!”

“I am,” you said. “You gonna beat me up?”

“You surprised me,” he said, taking your hand and pulling you closer. “I thought one of the cleaners was trying to get fresh with me.”

You straddled his lap and he ran his hands up your back as he looked up at you. “Nope, just me. What are you doing?”

“Oh,” he said looking over his shoulder. “I’ve been working on creating an AI that can run the house. I had an idea for it, and I thought I’d see if I could work on it here, but this stuff is all 15 years old. So then I was looking at one of the things I was working on fifteen years ago…” He shook his head. “You know what? I have no idea. Where’s Kurt?”

“He’s taken Brody to his parents for the week,” you answered. There had been talk about both of you coming again, but Brody was only two and so far, while you’d had nights off where you had someone babysitting, you’d never had any time off alone and Kurt had only had a few work trips that had taken him out of town. You didn’t want to waste your first week away together, not actually together.

“Brody?” Tony asked.

“Yeah,” you said, furrowing your brow. “You know? My son? The one I had about nine months after I last saw you?”

“Whoa…” Tony said, that same shock in his voice as when you’d come up behind him. He pushed you off his lap and got up and started pacing. “Wait? You… we… is he…” He stopped and looked at you and you tried not to break down into hysterical laughter. “Is he?”

“Tony,” you said, shaking your head and trying to sound somber.

“Oh my god,” Tony said, running his hands through his hair. “He is, isn't he? He’s mine?”

You couldn’t hold it. You burst out laughing and came over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I was pregnant when you last saw me. Remember? I was throwing up every day?”

“Oh… yeah, right,” Tony said, leaning into you slightly. “I completely forgot. You sent pictures right?”

“Yes, I did,” you said, poking his side. “And you sent me flowers.”

“Well, to be fair,” Tony said, running his hands up your back. “That was Pepper.”

“You’re the worst,” you teased and brought your lips to his. As you kissed deeply and a little sloppily you became aware exactly why Tony had forgotten about your son. He tasted strongly of Scotch. He’d been drinking a lot last time too, it was likely that anything that didn’t affect his day-to-day life was being shuffled into a part of his brain he didn’t access much.

He pulled back and spanked your ass. “Why are you here so early?”

“Just when the plane got in,” you said. “I thought I’d grab some lunch, have a nap, and then get ready for the party. I have the sluttiest dress packed.”

Tony smirked. “That’s what I like to hear,” he teased. “Let’s do it. This place is as much yours as it is mine these days.”

After you napped you took a shower and came out in your towel to find Pepper helping Tony with a pair of cufflinks and going through the list of things he’d wanted at the party. She looked over to you and smiled before focussing her attention back on Tony. “The cleaners will be here tomorrow morning, then you’ll have one come through every day until you leave. On the last day they’ll come and clean and pack up the house,” she said.

“Thank you, Pepper,” Tony said. “What would I do without you.”

“Starve in your own filth?” She teased. “Okay, you two. Have fun. I’ll be in Cabo. So don’t call me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Tony said. “Enjoy yourself.”

Pepper headed back down the stairs and you started to get ready, starting with doing your hair. “Come on, slowpoke, we have an orgy to attend.”

“You just sit tight,” you teased. “You’re gonna get your dick sucked soon enough.”

Tony burst out laughing and flopped down on the edge of the bed, watching as you got ready.

“You’re putting a bra on?” Tony asked as you put on your matching black lace thong and bra.

“Gravity has started to betray me, Tony,” you said.

“I’m just going to take it off,” he teased.

You laughed and stepped into your dress. It was loose fit and asymmetrical in shimmering silver and black fabric. You paired it with a strappy silver heel and Tony got up off the bed. “Finally!” He huffed, offering you his elbow.

You giggled and hooked his arm through his and the two of you went downstairs. The party was in full swing when the two of you entered and there were shouts of ‘happy birthday’ to Tony as he made his way to the bar. It was just a party so far. People were drinking and dancing. A large group had already collected around the pool and a handful were swimming.

Tony got himself a Macallan neat while you got a cosmo. You stuck with Tony as he mingled with people. He was royalty in this group of friends, acquaintances, and people who just wanted a chance to touch celebrity, and because he was royalty, you were royalty by association. It was a nice feeling but not one you particularly wanted to extend and you wondered why you’d never noticed it until this trip. Tony had always been the center of attention of course, but it never felt like you were part of that. Perhaps it was because most of the time you arrived well after the party started. The guests at these events changed a lot each time, but there were people you recognized and names you knew. Perhaps people knew that Tony considered you special because it always started with you and him.

As people seemed to start things up and other women began to hang off Tony he pulled you close to him and brought his lips to your ear. “What are we feeling tonight, cookie?”

“It's been a while since I’ve been with another woman,” you said. “But I'm open to suggestions.”

“Nope,” Tony said and pulled one of the women who had gathered around you closer to him. “Annie, Lilli, shall we?”

The two women closest to him giggled and Annie took hold of Tony’s tie and led him to one of the downstairs bedrooms. She pulled him close and began to undress him as Tony kissed her neck and ran his hands up under your skirt.

You and Lilli turned to each other and began to kiss and slowly undress each other. Not that there was too much to undress. You were both completely naked before Tony even had his pants off.

The two of you moved to the bed and you guided her back on the mattress as you kissed her deeply. You each ground on the other’s thigh as your tongues circled together. Annie pushed Tony down on the bed and kneeled between his legs pulling his cock free from his pants. You slowly began to crawl down Lilli’s body, kissing a trail down her skin as you moved further and further down. You paused at her breasts, sucking and biting at her nipples as you rolled your hips on her thigh. She mewled and arched her back, grabbing the headboard as her cunt flooded and smeared on your skin. When both her nipples were like hard pebbles you moved down lower.

You kissed along her hips and flattened your tongue, running it up her cunt. The tart musk of her sex filled your senses and your both moaned in unison. Tony lay back on the bed, his head landing between your legs, and began to suck hungrily on your cunt. You groaned into Lilli’s pussy, keeping your focus on her, drinking up her juices as she rocked against your face. The four of you formed a chain down the bed, beginning with Lilli as she gripped the headboard and writhed under you and ending with Annie who was bobbing her head up and down on Tony’s cock. You pushed two fingers inside of her and began to fuck her with them. She dripped for you, her arousal ran from her, down your wrist in rivulets. You drank up what you could and as your fingers worked over the soft spongy spot inside her, her walls began to spasm around your fingers. Her moans got louder, drowning out the muffled moans you made into your cunt.

With a loud cry and a jerk of her hips, she came on your face. You sat up and climbed off of Tony’s face. He looked up at you with a smirk and took Annie’s hand and guided her up. “Ladies,” he said. “Start without me.”

The three of you formed a daisy chain on the bed, your head between Annie’s legs, Lilli’s between yours, and Annie’s between Lilli’s. As the three of you began to suck and finger each other’s cunts, Tony moved around the edge of the bed, watching closely as he pumped his cock. He grabbed a condom from the bowl and rolled it on as the three of you brought each other closer and closer to the edge.

Your senses were overwhelmed. It was like they were all being stimulated at once, with the scent and taste of Annie’s cunt, the sounds of their moans, and the way Lilli was expertly working your g-spot. Tony moved up behind you and Lilli pulled away from your cunt and started sucking his cock. You moaned needily into Annie’s cunt and bucked your hips. A moment later, Tony’s cock was pressed at your entrance and he thrust hard inside you. You gasped and dug your fingers into Annie’s thighs from the sudden intrusion. Annie began to rock her pussy on your face as you lapped at her clit eagerly and thrust two fingers inside you. As Tony fucked your cunt, Lilli sucked on your clit.

You began to fall apart between them. Your whole body buzzed and your clit began to twitch. Your breath became more and ragged and your head became fuzzy and with a loud cry, you came hard, bucking back against Tony.

Tony pulled out and moved around to Annie, changing condoms as he did. He thrust into her and began fucking her hard. You kept flicking your tongue around the base of his cock and her clit. She was already close before Tony began to fuck her and it wasn’t long before her muscles started tensing and her legs began to shake. Tony’s breath was coming in labored and you spanked his ass as you nipped at Annie’s clit. She cried out loudly and came, her whole body shuddering with it.

Tony pulled out and moved again and this time you and Annie did too. You both sat on either side of Lilli and as you leaned down and began to lick at her clit, Annie sucked and bit at Lilli’s breasts. Lilli rolled her hips in time with the thrust of Tony’s hips and arched her back off the mattress.

“Fuck,” Tony groaned. “You girls are so fucking hot.”

“Cum on my tits, Mister Stark,” Lilli begged, reaching up and holding his wrist.

His hips began to stutter and you focused on her clit, rubbing it harder to bring her along too. She jerked up and cried out, gushing around Tony’s cock. Tony pulled out and tossed the condom aside as he jerked his cock hard and with a groan, he came in hot ribbons over Lilli’s tits.

She hummed happily and ran her fingers through the mess and Annie leaned in and licked it up.

Tony smirked at you and held out his hand.

“Cake?” You asked as you let him help you to your feet.

“You know me so well,” he chuckled and pulled you into a deep kiss.

// NEXT

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #iron man #iron man fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #the hamptons' house #2003

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

Text

Cassell Cynic

@hectabdr @hectab For my Dragon Raja Bestie! :D A Gift Fic

These two are his idea. I just loved the idea.

“The weather is a balmy 74 degrees and sunny, low humidity and perfect for just hanging out and going for a walk in the lovely city parks of Chicago and now we’re going to a selection of some of Coltrane’s finest jazz compilations....”

On the East Lawn of the Cassell College Campus people were indeed out and about in the sun. The breeze ruffled the skirts of the girls carrying books and laughing to themselves. They cast glances his way and smirked, looking down at him with haughty eyes while he lay on a bench with his sunglasses over his eyes. Somewhere on site, the bells tolled the hour. 2 pm. It was time for afternoon classes to start.

In other words, time for a nap.

He lay on the bench with John Coltrane’s sultry saxophone in his ears. He studied how this man could weave such a delightfully heart pulling melody. Now there was a true genius, able to hone a natural craft into such perfection and gift it to the world for free listening.

But right when the music had reached its natural emotional zenith, it suddenly cut off.

“Nathan Phillips. I know you’re avoiding me.”

His mood went from euphoric to crashing down to the depths of hell. He rolled his eyes behind his dark glasses. “And yet... here we are...”

Norma, the voice of Cassell College’s AI spoke through his headphones. “You haven’t attended a single class this semester...”

“You mispronounced year.”

“The professors are getting irritated...”

“Did you hack an online radio station just to talk to me? Norma... I’m flattered.”

“They’re willing to give you a chance if you complete an internship...”

“A chance to do... what exactly?” Nathan spread out his hands. “It needs to be better than listening to jazz on sunny afternoon, or it’s a no from me.”

Norma was silent for several seconds.

Nathan Phillips smirked. “Didn’t think so...”

“Cassell College has a main mission, to slay dragons. If you’re not here for that, what are you here for?” Norma asked.

Nathan opened his eyes behind his glasses. “I think you should be asking that question of all the other students going to class. Because I guarantee you that Dragonslaying isn’t it. I mean just think about it? How many students here really give a rat’s ass about saving the world from dragons? I’m serious. Answer the question.”

“The answers can vary but that doesn’t change the goal of the institution. This was plainly told to you when you enrolled.”

Nathan Phillips nodded his head. “Oh yeah, and I bought into it until I was Ranked C on me 3E exam. I don’t resonate worth a damn with dragons. I’m barely above the maintenance personnel in that regard.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of marijuana. He rolled it in paper and lit it.

“Smoking is prohibited on school grounds.”

“I know. That’s why I’m doing it. So, what are you going to do? Kick me out? I listened to the enrollment lecture. You don’t kick out students. They get suspended or drop out and have their memories wiped. If you kick me out for this blunt, that will be my greatest accomplishment as a C rank.”

Norma made a noise and his eyes widened. “Did you just sigh? Wow, you are realistic. So... just out of curiosity, what is the mission?”

“If you’re not going to accept, there’s no point in telling you.” Norma replied.

“This conversation is over then? It was just getting interesting. Oh well. But if you want to know the answer to your question of why I’m here... you should ask my parents.” He blew out a purple haze into the sky. “They’re the ones who sent me here. They scrimped and saved to send me here. They could have bought me a house. Two houses. A nice car. All that. But no, they sent me here. Just so they could say they had a son go to Cassell. That’s it. To prove their bloodlines weren’t trash. But they were wrong... they are trash.”

“That’s all I’m here for, Norma. I’m here to be here. That’s where my obligations end. I’ll stay here until the money runs out. Enjoy myself. And then when the money runs out, I’ll drop and have my memory wiped. Go on with my life. And...” He paused to draw on the blunt. “I will have a life. Some star dragonslayer will save the world from dragons while I’m having the time of my life, on the bench, smoking Mary Jane. Do you have any objections?”

Norma was silent for several seconds. “None. I’ll return you to your jazz.”

John Coltrane returned to his ears and Nathan Phillips smiled to himself and relaxed into the buzz in his brain. There was nothing wrong with a pointless life.

If he learned anything from Cassell, it was this.

He pulled out a notebook and opened it. Inside were all sorts of fantasies of what he would like to be told on dropping out. It wasn’t enough to just erase someone’s memories. New memories would have to replace them to explain the missing years. It could be literally anything.

Maybe he was someone who witnessed a mob hit and was living undercover in the witness protection program. Or maybe he was a secret agent in a UFO division and he’d be kidnapped off world by aliens. He always came up with his best work when he was high as a kite. This time, he was an aspiring artist on the run from a brutal dictator and taking refuge in Chicago. He wrote down the scenario quickly before he forgot it.

All the other students were in class, except for him, sitting on the bench writing down about how his paintings were renowned all over the world until a brutal dictator... which dictator? “Uh... Geez I don’t know.”

The sound of heels clicking on the pavement caught his attention. He turned bleary eyed to the vision of a girl walking up to him, arms swinging, eyes narrowed. He’d seen her before but couldn’t remember where. She overshadowed him and looked up. Her head blocked out the sun and he couldn’t see her face. “Um... shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Uh, no! No class! I was supposed to be on assignment but my PARTNER is a lazy ass who won’t show up.” She growled.

Nathan lifted his sunglasses over red rimmed eyes. She was Asian but tall, only an inch from 6 feet. Her muscles nearly popped from her school uniform. He wasn’t sure if it was the weed messing with his head but he was pretty sure this woman could benchpress more than he weighed. “Well... that sucks.”

“Yeah, it does!” She bent over until her face was an inch from his, blinking with wide indignant eyes. “You shouldn’t be allowed to to bring down the grades of other students! I didn’t come here to be brought down by you!”

“Me?”

“Yes! You! My partner!”

“Wait... you’re... Oh right! You’re Hana... Hana...” He snapped his fingers.

“Sato, Hana Sato and don’t snap your fingers at me or I’ll snap them off!” She grabbed his wrist.

“Right... the A ranked girl.” He lowered his glasses back over his eyes. “Well, this wasn’t my decision to be your partner. You should blame the people at fault. It’s probably Norma. She’s the one who pinged me earlier about it. Tell her to get a new partner for you. Should take a hot minute.”

Hana scowled at him. “If I could have anyone else for a partner I would. But I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because they all suck! They’re all terrible! All they want to do is talk about boys and parties and stupid things like that! I can’t stand those people!”

“I’m not any better. Just do the mission by yourself.” He pulled his hand out of her grip.

“I can’t. They already said its a two person mission.”

Nathan gave an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders. “Pay someone.”

“They said it had to be you.” She sat next to him on the bench.

Nathan snorted and started laughing. “Wow. They are really desperate.”

“I’m glad you think bringing down my whole year is funny.” Her cheeks were red and her eyes were narrowed with frustration and anger.

“I’m not bringing down your year! I’m laughing because they want me to care so bad that they’d send this super powerful, gorgeous girl and chain her to me and expect me to do something. It’s like they all got together and said ‘Ha! A pretty girl, now he’ll give a shit.’” He laughed loud. Marijuana always made him giggly. “They’re the evil ones. If you care about your grade... then all I can tell you is stop caring.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re a C-rank. You don’t have anything to lose.”

“Just... find another partner.” Nathan said, staring at her. He wondered why she was still here.

She sighed, looking away from him, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. “I can’t. No one will work with me. I kind of... got put on a hit list after I punched the lead dancer of the White Skirt’s Club and knocked her out right before a performance.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen.”

Much to his shock she pulled out her phone and showed a picture. It wasn’t taken by her, but by another student as proof that Hana had ruined the Student Union performance.

“Heh. Sorry I missed it.”

Hana closed the app. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. She had an understudy but... uh... yeah, I was blacklisted after that. I don't’ care. I work fine on my own. But now they insisted we be partners and I literally have no alternative.”

“Hey...”

She looked down at him. “What?”

“You always have the choice to do nothing. I haven’t done a thing since I got here.” He laid back on the bench as though to demonstrate. “Feel free to join me.”

#Dragon Raja

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pleasereadmycrap · 4 years

Text

Time Gone By II

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader

“You lied to me,” Steve huffed out as he stormed up to the bar.

“What?” Natasha asked, taken off guard by Steve's question and his sudden appearance. His face was red and puffy, and his eyes were glassy.

“She’s with him.”

“It wasn’t my place to tell you.”

“No, you just didn’t want to tell me!”

“Steve, calm down!” Nat said as she reached what was meant to be a soothing hand across the bar to rest it on his shoulder, but he just shook it off.

The party was in full bloom around them. People were streaming around them decked out in all their finery. It was like a perverted kind of last rights. They all knew of what was to come, but at least they could cover it up with makeup and pretty clothes for the night in an attempt to forget themselves.

Steve started to cry softly, a tear or two racing down his cheeks at a time. Natasha took notice, and poured him a drink before sliding it across the bar to him. He drank the entire thing in one swig without even wincing. He wasn’t even focused enough to feel it.

“You’ll be okay.”

“And what if I won’t? She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I left her. Now, I have to watch her gallivanting around with my best friend!”

“They hardly gallivant.” Natasha joked.

“Nat!”

“What? You said it yourself; you left her. Now, get over it.”

“Shouldn’t you be a little more sympathetic?”

“I’m Russian. And you’re a soldier. Hell, you’re not even that. You’re a super soldier, and now you’re crying into your glass over a woman. You’ve seen some of life’s worst atrocities. You saw firsthand what Nazis did to people. You’ve fought the worst of the worst. You’ve seen and committed war crimes. You’ve been through a hell of a lot worse than a bad breakup, and you’re acting like a child. It’s pathetic, especially considering that you did this to yourself.”

“So you hate me now too?”

“I said that I had forgiven you, not that I wasn’t still mad.”

“Really, Nat? We’re gonna be fighting on the same team the day after next,” Steve said in his old team leader voice he used to order his fellow teammates around. He could see a slight shift in Natasha when she heard it. She froze and her eyes grew impossibly colder.

“I can bench my feelings. The question is can you?”

“I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

“See you tomorrow, Nat.”

When he reached his room, he sat on the bed for a while. Steve didn’t have the energy to take his suit off, so he just sat there, shoes still on and everything. He hadn’t even loosened his tie. He just stared out the window with unseeing eyes.

Everything that you had said was true. He had left, and he couldn’t change that, but he thought that you might have waited for him. It was a stupid notion, and he knew that, but somewhere along the way he got so wrapped up in being Captain America that he forgot to be Steve Rogers. He thought that you would wait around the way that his adoring public always did. Looking back on it, he had been neglectful, and not just when he left. Maybe you were better off with Bucky, but he couldn’t believe that. The two of you were soulmates. Maybe he didn’t treat you like it, but you were his everything.

He should just leave again after the battle. It was obvious that nobody around here needed or wanted him there. Hell, not even Sharon wanted him around anymore. He had no place to go.

He finally had the strength to ask the AI in his room to look up your file. Your smiling face showed up, projected on the window, so different than the one that he had seen tonight. It was the picture from your first day working at SHIELD. You were the handler for the Avengers. Prior to that you had done the same for the Navy SEALS. You had also graduated from Stanford, top of your class, with a degree in International Relations. Needless to say, you were qualified for the job. When Steve scrolled further down on your career achievements, he was confused. When had you become an official member of the Avengers? Training records were linked underneath, and he clicked on them. It read Combat Agent- trained by Natasha Romanoff. He scrolled down further and clicked on one of your training videos. You were sparring with Bucky, and it was clear that he wasn’t pulling his punches. Steve was surprised at how hard he was attacking you, and winced, terrified that you would be hurt. To be fair, you were getting in some good hits of your own. Suddenly, Bucky’s legs were undefended, forgotten in his efforts to defend himself from you, and you swept them out from under him. You pinned him to the floor, the two of you giggling madly in the video. You captured his lips in a passionate kiss right before the video cut off.

That image would be burned into his brain forever. He couldn’t describe the way that it hurt him to see that. If he could take it all back he would. Sometimes he wished that he was just a kid in Brooklyn again, before the serum, and the ice, and the Avengers.

Hell, even that seemed like so long ago. How many more wormholes had torn open the sky since that first one in New York so long ago. Back then it was just the six of them. Now, it seemed like the Avengers were no longer a team, but an army. You were just the latest.

He figured that although the party had ended, Nat would still be awake. She could never sleep easily. Although he was probably the last person she wanted to see right now, he needed to speak to her.

He walked down the hallway, after getting directions to her room, and knocked on her door quietly, in case she was asleep.

“Steve?” Natasha asked as she opened her door.

“When did you start training Y/N?”

“What?”

“I saw that she’s a ‘combat agent’ now,” he said, placing air quotes around the words.

“She is, and she earned that position,”Nat replied coldly.

“When?”

“Right after you left. She was upset, and she wanted to learn. Who was I to turn her down? Every woman has a right to learn to protect herself.”

“Why?”

“She didn’t have you to protect her anymore.”

“Is she going to be fighting the day after next?” Steve asked with increasing concern.

“She’ll stay in the palace and protect Shuri and the labs.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“Her safety isn’t your concern, is it?”

“Dammit, Nat, of course I care about her safety!”

“So you cared about protecting her from halfway across the world?”

“Why does everybody have to keep bringing that up?”

“Because it showed your true priorities Steve, and they sure as hell aren’t us. Her safety is no longer your job. It’s Barnes’, and he’s more than up to the task because unlike some people he won’t just leave her,” Nat spat at him coldly.

“Can we just talk, Nat?”

“Come inside. I’ll pour us both a drink.”

Steve walked into Nat’s room and sat on her bed as she poured them both heaping glasses of vodka. Her movements were reserved and sharp, not the relaxed way they used to be when Natasha trusted him. She handed him the glass and folded herself tightly into the armchair across from the bed. Steve took a sip of his drink and gagged.

“You drink this swill straight?”

“I’m Russian,” she said, her explanation for everything. “What did you want to talk about?”

“You understand why I did it right?”

“I don’t know. I know you loved Peggy, but I couldn’t imagine leaving the only family I’ve known to chase after some figment of the past. So I’ll give you the chance to explain it to me.”

“When things were tough or I felt lost, I turned to her. She was my rock, the only thing that made sense to me in these uncertain times. She was the only thing that felt real anymore, so to think that I knew nothing about her, that I didn’t even know Sharon was her niece… it broke me.”

“That sucks, but you could’ve stayed. You could’ve talked to us. Why did you have to follow her?”

“I needed answers,” he said simply in response.

“Did you get any?”

“More questions than answers. You know, she discovered the Red Room. Peggy was the first to put it on SHIELD’s radar.”

“I know.”

“She knew a girl like you, but she was a little harder to reform, Dorothy Underwood.”

“Known as one of the program’s failures. Although, I suppose, so am I. Only the least skilled would ever be caught by SHIELD.”

“Did you ever get the chance to meet her?”

“Once. Fury didn’t like that Clint had brought back a stray until Peggy Carter stormed into the room. She was the one who demanded that I have a position at SHIELD. Without her, I wouldn’t have this family or this life.”

“Just another thing that I never knew about her.”

“There will always be some mystery about her. If there wasn’t she wouldn’t really be Peggy, would she, if that even was her real name?”

“Do you think that everybody will forgive me?” Steve asked as he looked up from his lap with fear etched in his eyes.

“I don’t know. You were fighting with Tony when you dropped everything, and then you just left your only remaining friends.”

“I can’t get her back, can I?” Steve asked, staring down at the glass in his hands.

“I honestly don’t know, but I don’t think you’d be right to try.”

“What are they like together? Y/N and Bucky?”

“He’s good to her, treats her the way she ought to be treated. She was shattered when you left, wouldn't talk, wouldn’t eat, nothing. He really picked up the pieces, put her back together. She’s his everything, now. I mean, you should see the way that he looks at her, like she hung the moon or something, and she’s good for him too. You know, he rarely has panic attacks anymore.”

“I’m happy for them,” Steve said with tears in his eyes.

“Steve-“

“No, I am really. It’s fine. They’re better off without me,” he said before racing out of the room.

He ran back into his own apartment, and collapsed onto his bed before sobbing into his pillow like a little boy. He fell asleep like that.

…

Steve woke up early the next morning, his face stiff with dried tears. Breakfast was already waiting outside his door. It was meager, just a bagel and some sausage, but it was to be expected. Today would be spent preparing for the battle tomorrow. Steve ate his breakfast quickly, and went for a brief run around the palace.

He stopped after a while and found a low wall to sit on. He watched the sun rise over the citadel. He thought back to last night and all that Nat had said. Bucky was better for you, and you two would be happy together. He had to give up. Resigned to his decision, he started to jog back towards the entrance to the palace. He knew that he had to apologize for his actions last night, and he was too impatient to wait until after he showered, so he jogged up to your room and knocked on the door hesitantly.

Hey,” he said nervously as the door swung open to see you standing behind it, still wearing your pajamas and a tired expression on your face. The one thing that hadn’t changed evidently was your reliance on coffee.

“What are you doing here, Steve?”

“I wanted to apologize for last night.”

“Ok.”

“I heard that you're an official part of the Avengers now. Congratulations.”

“Hey doll, who’s at the door?” Bucky called out as he entered the room, having just showered and wearing nothing but a towel. “Oh, hey Steve.”

“Oh, so you and Bucky are living together? That’s uh… that’s… you know, that’s just really great. Good for you two.”

“I don’t remember asking for your approval. What do you really want?”

“I told you,” he stammered quietly as Bucky came to stand beside you at the door, his features contorted with interest. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Well, you’ve done that,” you said before closing the door in his face.

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rubykgrant · 3 years

Text

OK, here is the text from the sad good-bye angst post, so hopefully it will be easier to read (and also, fixed some of my typos)

To Caboose-

Hey, Caboose… you know how you think you’re my “best friend”? Well, you’re not. You are more like… like the baby brother I kept asking my parents for, but then when I finally got you, I was just really annoyed because you were always in my space and breaking all my stuff, and I would get sick of you… but then one day, something happens, like you swallow a rock or whatever and start to choke, and then I save you, and I learn a lesson about how much I actually care about you. I wish I could have actually, y’know, acted like a real big brother. I could have showed you how to do stuff, taught you stuff, shared stuff with you… I’m sorry I didn’t. I wish I hadn’t yelled at you all the time… I still have no idea why you even liked me so much, I’m a jerk! You were always nice, though. I don’t know, maybe if I actually paid attention to what you said more often, then I would have been able to figure some stuff out, too. Just remember, you’ve still got a lot of people around you who can help you figure stuff out, and even more importantly; you can help them too. You understand some stuff better than anybody else, you figure things out before the rest of us, and they need you Caboose. I know you’re gonna be OK. You’re all gonna be OK. So, don’t be sad. I’m… I’m proud of you… little bro

To Tucker-

Tucker… man, YOU are my best friend. Seriously. Sometimes, when we weren’t hanging out together for whatever stupid nonsense reason, I’d see something and think to myself “I gotta remember to tell Tucker about that”. I’d imagine a whole conversation in my head, and then when I finally saw you again, y’know what would happen? You’d say EXACTLY what I thought you would! You know what else? I still didn’t get bored talking to you. I know it sucked and we didn’t stop complaining about it the whole time, but honestly… when we were just stuck there on Blood Gulch, you and me, talking to each other… that is still one of my favorite memories. I mean, I hated it at the time, but if I had to be stuck anywhere, on a loop… well, anyway. Tucker, I want to tell you something. I know you really well buddy, so I KNOW you feel like people are putting a lot of pressure on you, and I know you’re afraid of messing up, so you probably want to go back to when you didn’t have to try so hard, and then that back-fires because it MAKES you mess up. You don’t have to be perfect, Tucker. Nobody is. It is totally OK to mess up sometimes… but it is OK to actually TRY, too. Don’t stop trying, because… because you really do some amazing things. You’re important, Tucker. Now, go have a beer for me! Also, if it helps… think about me, sometimes. I bet you’d know exactly what I’d say if I was still there

To Donut-

Donut, you are like, my favorite guy over there on the Reds. I bet you didn’t think I liked you at all, considering the whole… “grenade incident” with my girlfriend, but hey- we were all extra stupid back then, huh? Nobody knew what was going on, and we sure weren’t making very good decisions. If Tex had gotten to know you, outside of all the BS we kept getting sucked into, I think she would’ve thought you were OK too. It… it really would have been great if things could have happened that way, if everybody could have just gotten to take a break from all the life-and-death situations, and had a chance to just hang out and chill. We all could use a vacation, but you definitely deserve one. You’ve got a big heart Donut, and even on the worst days, you were somehow still up-beat, trying to stay positive… I guess you kinda get over-looked a lot, but if you weren’t around, things wouldn’t be the same. Don’t stop looking on the bright side. Because you… you kinda ARE the bright side, Donut

To Grif-

Grif, I know pretty much all the crap that has happened to us is… basically my fault. So first of all, sorry man. Believe me, if I could go back and fix everything, I would. Then, maybe you wouldn’t have to get dragged half-way across the galaxy and back. You might be the only one who just wants to sit down and not deal with these stupid problems MORE than ME, and I don’t blame you. In fact, you got the right idea… I mean, what are your favorite things? Eating, taking a nap? Well, good for you! Those are normal things for somebody to want! Heck, those are things people NEED to do. If you don’t eat and don’t sleep, you die. I don’t think you’re lazy Grif, you just want to live long enough to enjoy life and relax. You are… probably the most down-to-earth out of everybody. If you weren’t around to complain, they’d all forget to sit down once in a while, or have a snack. You’re the anchor Grif, not because you hold them back, but because you keep them grounded. So, tell them to shut up and have a pizza party or something!

To Simmons-

Remember waaaay back, when you uh… when you were pretending to be a new Blue guy, and I was sort of “introducing you” to who was on the Red team? Remember how I kinda talked some crap about “a guy named Simmons”? Yeah, I knew that was you. I was just trying to mess with you, which I maybe shouldn’t have done… because I maybe have a problem with being an a-hole… and you didn’t really deserve that. So, yeah, um, I apologize. Besides, I didn’t mean it. You ARE smart, but that isn’t all. Simmons, you’re like… clever, and creative. Not just with “nerdy stuff”, you just… you know a LOT of things, and I bet if your guys actually listened to what you said, you would’ve gotten a lot more done. I bet that gets pretty damn frustrating, because you KNOW you aren’t stupid, and you just want to help, but you just kinda get pushed off to the side. That is why it is actually pretty cool, how you always keep on trying to make stuff happen. You keep trying to help. Actually, I think you really do make a lot of stuff happen, you just don’t always see it… I think you also don’t see the fact that we all actually like you, dude. I mean, I’m an a-hole, and I still like you. Your peachy-pumpkin buddy complains about you, but he also likes you. Don’t ever shut up Simmons, everybody needs to hear what you’ve got to say, and they’d miss talking to you on top of that

To Sarge-

Sarge, as somebody who also yells about the stuff he hates… I know there’s no way you actually hate everything so much. I mean, if you didn’t care about the people around you, would you even bother yelling so much? I doubt it. Um, as somebody who also has a problem with the whole “emotional honesty” thing… I can tell you, it’ll eventually get old. Not saying what you really think, not telling people how you really feel… it gets old. Everybody who has to deal with you will get sick of it, and then you’ll get sick of yourself. Once again, as somebody who maybe kinda sorta dislikes himself… that isn’t a way to be. It gets really old, really fast. Haha, and you ain’t THAT old yet, are you Sarge? So, trust me, don’t waste your time pretending to hate everything, and DEFINITELY don’t wait until the last minute to tell somebody what they really mean to you. It is way better to just talk to people so they know you actually appreciate them… and then stick around for whatever happens after. It can be pretty embarrassing, but you’re a tough guy. You can handle it

To Doc-

Doc, I don’t know why you never just ditched us, because we are basically like… a hydra made out of headache. When you think you stopped one moron, two more show up, and the headache gets more intense. You didn’t deserve this headache… or the headache that tried to literally take-over your body. Has anybody even told you how crazy it is, the fact that you got infected with an AI made of pure rage, and even that couldn’t stop you from being a nice guy at your core? I can’t even imagine how messed that must have been, you didn’t even know what was happening, there was this voice in your head that also hi-jacked your REAL voice, and it wanted to do was cause problems… but you wanted to fix problems. No matter how strong that AI thought it was, you were stronger. You are all about being… kind, and gentle, and peaceful… the rage inside that AI couldn’t kill that part of you. You are a lot tougher than people give you credit for. I wouldn’t blame you if you ever did just want to ditch everybody… but I think they really do like having you with them. They just don’t know it, because we all get too up in our own heads, and we forget about the fact that we aren’t just individuals dealing with dangerous crap… the guy next to us is dealing with it, too. You deserve more attention, Doc. You deserve to ask for help, and actually GET help. You don’t have to be the one that fixes everything. Remind everybody that they need to take care of you, too

To Lopez-

I feel like I should just say “sorry” about a thousand times in a row. I mean, you’ve been getting thrashed around since day one, you never got a break, and on top of that, nobody bothered to try and understand you. Well, I know YOU can understand ME, Lopez. I don’t have time for all the apologies you deserve, but I do want to say something… thank you. Thanks for putting up with everything, over and over again. You didn’t have to, but you did. Oh sure, you’re a “robot”, and most people would assume that means you have to follow orders and do what humans tell you… but hey, from one artificial intelligence to another? We both know that is BS. Despite how exhausting it is to give a damn about this group of clowns, it is even harder to stop giving a damn about them. If anybody ever wants to argue a case for robotic rights, you are a prime example of free will AND the fact that there are ghosts in the machines… I don’t mean like me, I mean like whatever the heck it is that makes emotions happen, and how there is something that makes us ignore logic and reason, just to do the right thing. I think that is part of being human… but it is also part of being alive. You aren’t a human, but you don’t need to be. You’re already a better person than half the a-holes I’ve met in my… very messed-up life. Oh, and Lopez! I bet if you like, drew a crying frowny face on a sticky-note and stuck it to your helmet, everybody would finally get a clue

To Wash-

Wash, I… I’m not sure how to even say this… I am so, so sorry. I am so damn SORRY. Part of me hurt you… when you first got implanted with Epsilon, it almost destroyed you. I didn’t even realize this until I got my own memories sorted out, but when that AI first linked-up with you, that part of me… sort of shared YOUR memories, too. I never knew how to bring it, because how do you start THAT conversation? “Hey man, I know who your favorite Care Bear is” or “Dude, remember your cat Loki?”. Yeah, no. I wish we could’ve gotten to actually know each other NOW, with me being more like who I actually am, or at least what I feel like is the real me. Maybe then we could’ve talked, and I could’ve apologized, and I could’ve told you that… you’re OK, Wash. I still feel kinda guilty, I know how you think and feel, but I only know that because my most painful memories got shoved into your head. What I mean is, this feels like I know a secret, but you didn’t want to tell me… well, now you know I know, and I hope you can forgive me. Oh, and for real, don’t be so afraid to be a dork! I know you felt like the reject in the Freelancer group, but come on! Look at who you’re with now! Let them make you laugh. Let them talk you into doing stupid stuff. Go be a goofball. Make them watch Care Bears with you. Now, seriously, do that. It’ll be hilarious!

To Carolina-

I thought maybe… if I saved you for last, it would be easier… but it really isn’t. How do I even EXPLAIN, how I feel? I went through… a LOT of crap. I got manipulated, tortured, used as a weapon, forced to hurt people, torn apart and put back together again. I hated most of my life… and you know what? I’d still go through it all again, knowing I’d eventually meet this group of weirdos, and knowing that I’d eventually meet YOU. I doubt I’m what most people would consider a “father figure”, and honestly the idea of being in charge of keeping a very small person alive scares the heck out of me, but um, I- I guess, uh… aw, whatever, I wish I could have been there for you when you needed a dad. I’m sure I would’ve sucked, but if nothing else, I wouldn’t have just stood back and watched while you half-way killed yourself trying to prove yourself. You’ve got nothing to prove, Carolina. You also don’t need to keep hating yourself, either. I know you’re carrying around all the guilt for every mistake you every made, and I know you can’t just forget about it… but PLEASE, don’t go and half-way kill yourself because you think you need to be punished somehow. Everybody does bad things, some worse than others, but that doesn’t mean you are going to be nothing but a bad person forever. I also want to say… if she… if she had known… Carolina, if Tex had realized who SHE was and who YOU were before everything went to hell… if things had been different, you two would have gotten along. No, more than that… she would have loved you, Carolina. Your mother always did, but Tex would have too, just from getting to know you. As a person, daughter or not, she would have loved you. I think maybe… that was why she kept trying so hard, every time she got brought back. She didn’t have a choice about being there, but once she was, there was something inside her that kept telling her she had something important to do… but she forgot what it was. Allison wanted to come back to you. She wanted to get back to her daughter. That was her real failure, dying before she could see you again. I wish she could have, just once… and I’m so glad I got to know you, just for a while. It wasn’t long enough. Carolina, you’ve been through a lot. You’ve lost two families, your parents and your friends from the Freelancer program… but you aren’t alone anymore. You’ve got a new family now, and they are a tough bunch to get rid of! I mean it, you are stuck with them now. If I can give one line of “fatherly advice”, it is this… show them who’s boss. Are they acting crazy> You act crazier! Are they being annoying? You show them they don’t even know the MEANING of annoying! Remember, you are the BEST, Carolina. So, be the best at being a problem. Living with them is like a game, and if you try to be the only one with brain cells, you’re gonna lose. Haha… man, this is already too much, I didn’t mean to ramble so long… I guess I feel like… I feel like if I just keep talking… if I just keep TALKING, then this won’t have to end, it won’t be over, I won’t have to… I guess I just have to say it, don’t I? OK, OK… I love you, Carolina. Good-bye

#text #my writing #red vs blue #rvb #michael j caboose #lavernius tucker #franklin delano donut #dexter grif #dick simmons #sarge #lopez the heavy #doc dufresne #agent washington #agent carolina #leonard church

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notyetneedcoffee · 4 years

Text

No Secrets, Part 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (???)

Warnings: None in this section

You sat in the car staring at the house. Your beautiful new prison.

“Miss Y/L/N, you have an incoming call from Miss Maximoff.” The car’s AI announce.

“Hi Wanda, so who called you?”

“Steve. He sent me the file and thought I might be able to help.” She was on the other side of the planet at the moment. It had to be the dark hours of the morning where she was. Still, she sounded alert and concerned. “How are you holding up?”

“At the moment?” You sighed, gripping the steering wheel hard. “I’m frustrated.”

“That’s it?” Wanda laughed. “I’d be pissed.”

“Yeah, that too.” You admitted.

“Try not to be too angry, though. They just feel like every weird, inane, and inappropriate thing that pops into their head is some how on blazing display now. They conveniently forget that I can pick up on all that, too. I’m just better at not responding.”

You tried to put yourself in Tony’s shoes. As much as you hated it, you understood his reaction. You may not agree with his solution, but you understood. Picturing the crazy stuff that probably popped into the team’s minds, and having to deal with it all at once might be a bit much to deal with, it kind of made you smile. “I suppose being around everyone would get kind of maddening.”

Wanda laughed. “It’s why I don’t do parties. I know you’re still likely to see some of them before this wears off. Please keep one very important thing in mind. People are not what they think. What matters is the way they choose to act.”

“Okay.” You considered her words.

“Much of what people think are caused by outside influences, or old tapes in their head. Still, they choose to do different. Just like someone may be racked with fear, but behave more bravely than anyone else. There are some people who’s thoughts are plagued with darkness, but they choose to be kind.”

Sitting quietly in your car, in front of the big modern house next to the lake, you knew things could be so much worse. The reality that Tony really was trying to be as good to you as he could right now sunk in. “You’re wiser than your years, my friend.”

“Don’t give me too much credit.” She laughed. “There is one other thing, Padawan. Don’t fight it. It’s like saying ‘hey don’t think about a blue monkey in a pink tu-tu’. You brain immediately conjures the monkey.”

“Okay.” You laughed despite yourself.

“I don’t know how available I’ll be, but call me if you need to. Whenever, night or day.” Wanda encouraged.

“I will. Listen, thanks.”

“Don’t sound so down. You’re probably going to get tons of sleep, be able to catch up on all the great shows, work out all you want, and not have to listen to Sam and Bucky fight over who gets to pick the music in the gym. Time will fly by.”

“I’m sure you’re right.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thanks, Wanda.” You cut off the call as you popped the trunk to grabbed your bags.

The house looked like a team from Architectural Digest picked the décor. It had all the conveniences of Tony’s smart homes. The refrigerator looked to be stocked by one of the compound’s chefs. A neat row of your favorite bottled juice was lined up beside your favorite soda and a stack of your favorite yogurts. On the giant bed you found a set of expensive silk pajamas and a plush robe under a copy of Anna Karenina. In the en-suite bathroom you found a tub big enough for four, and beside it a basket full of spa goodies.

The cell phone in your pocket buzzed. Steve’s name scrolled across the screen.

“Hey.”

“You made it okay.”

“Yeah. Tony must be feeling guilty. The house it loaded up with all kinds of gifts.”

“I hope they’re nice.”

“I suppose.” You sighed. “I’d rather be home.”

“I know.” His voice was quiet.

“Wanda called.” You sat down on the edge of the tub, running your hand over the fluffy towel.

“Good.” Steve took a deep breath. “I think we have, ah, some stuff to talk about but… God, I can’t do this over the phone. I’m sorry. I just… It feels wrong to do this over the phone.”

One of the generational leaps Steve never managed to make was his attitude towards the phone. It was a utilitarian tool. If you had something important to say, he felt you should do it face to face. You smiled, “I know. It’s okay, Steve.”

“Really?”

“We can talk later.” You gave a humorless laugh. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry, Honey. I really am.” Again his voice dropped low, quiet.

The little endearment warmed your cheeks. He so rarely used it. “No reason to be sorry, Steve.”

“Well, you get settled in and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay. Steve,” You sighed. “Thank you for checking on me. You be safe.”

“Will do.”

Strains of what you thought might be Verdi tickled the back of your mind. You stopped chopping the cucumber and put the knife down. The clock showed 12:35. It was still a half an hour until Bruce was supposed to be at the house.

‘Got to stay focused. This is so going to suck. What if she starts asking me questions? You’re going stumble around like a dumbass. Some genius you are. No. No. It’s going to be fine. It’s a short visit. I’ll be fine.’

Yep. Definitely Bruce.

You munched on your salad as you split your attention between the British Bake Off on the television and Banner’s constant internal rambling. It swung from running down a check list for his visit to trying to remember the Band Aid’s commercial jingle.

When the knock came at the door you looked at the clock. Only two minutes had passed. Bruce must have been at the street, or just coming down the long drive, when you heard him. Interesting.

“Hi Bruce.” You opened the door, popping a piece of cucumber in your mouth. “Hungry?”

“Ah, no.” He came in. “Thanks. I don’t want to be rude, but I’d like to just get to it. If you don’t mind, that is?”

“Why not?” You dropped into the chair at the table. “You’re just the first person I’ve seen in a week.”

‘Shit. Shit. Way to be a jerk.’

“It’s okay, Bruce.” You smiled. “I don’t mind, really. What do I do?”

“Ah, bring your chair out here. Then, ah, just let me run the scans.”

You pulled your chair out where he could walk around you. “Do I need to stay still?”

“No, I mean don’t dance around or anything.” He began pulling out equipment. He was internally humming the Verdi piece.

“How’s the team?” You knew it would be kinder to just be quiet, but you were dying for some interaction.

“Okay. Staying busy.” Came out of his mouth, but a barrage of things hit you. ‘Cap won’t stop moping. Tony needs to cut back on the caffeine. I’m gonna go green on Bucky soon.’

“I heard you just got back. Some mission with Nat and Clint.”

‘What a dress.’

“Ah, damn it. This sucks.” Bruce looked away from the device in his hands and deep in your eyes. “I’m really sorry, but I’m just afraid to talk about anything okay.”

You frown, nodding. “I’m sorry. I’ll stay quiet.”

‘Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.’

“You know what? Fuck it.” He sighed. “Things are tense. They’re kind of awful. Tony and I stick to the lab. Cap is walking around on auto-pilot. Bucky is fucking impossible. Sam is trying to play peacemaker but failing spectacularly. Clint came up with the mission just because Natasha and Bucky nearly killed each other sparring.”

‘I hate it. Hate it.’

“I’m sorry.” You twisted you hands together. “I don’t want everyone miserable over what happened to me.”

‘No. No. No. Fuck. Don’t cry. I’m going rip Tony’s arms off if she cries.’

“Not your fault.” Bruce sighed.

“Bruce.” You lifted you jaw. “I know it’s not my fault, but at least if I were there Tony wouldn’t feel guilty, I could tell Steve snap out of it, and I could smack Buck up side the head. You tell them to knock that crap off.”

He chuckled. “I’ll tell them you said so.”

Bruce asked you some medical questions and took a blood sample after finishing the scan. He calmed down quite a bit, but still left as soon as he could. Later that evening he called you to say that the reading were consistent with your time in the lab. The anomaly would go away, it would just take time.

You made yourself a hot chocolate and curled up on one of the deck chairs to listen to sounds of the evening forest when you got off the phone. It would be a long while alone. The sun wouldn’t set for a while yet, and you were reading a new book. Reading outside lessened the feeling of being trapped.

‘Don’t care. Got to do this.’

You head came up at the same time you heard the motorcycle pull down the drive. By the time Steve parked his bike, you stood at the edge of the deck just a few feet away. He looked up, seeing you clutch a throw blanket around your shoulders, wearing jeans and an old tee. Steve looked you over from bare feet to big eyes.

‘Beautiful.’

“I missed you.” He said, voice low.

“Missed you, too.”

Steve stepped closer. “I’ve been thinking, a lot. There’s something I don’t think I can, I don’t want, to wait to tell you.”

“Okay.” You swallowed, fighting to hold still. So much, so strong, hit you at once.

He took a deep breath, his large hand touched your hair, cupped your face. “I’m not sure when my feelings changed, but for a long time now all I can think about is how much I want you, want you to be with me.”

‘Those lips. So pretty.’

You felt a smile curl at the corner of your mouth. His mouth covered yours, lips gentle and soft. When your hands slid along his waist. His tongue swept lightly along your lip and was met by your own. He moan, pulling you close, kiss deepening.

‘God, yes, honey.’

BLEEEP! CRASH!

You both jerked away from each other in shock.

‘No! Not now!’

It took a second for the realization to hit you that you heard a car crash. Somewhere close by.

‘No. No. No. Dammit. Not now.’

Steve looked at you, “I should see what happened.”

“Yeah,” You breathed.

‘No. We should go inside, forget we heard anything. Want to feel you again.’

“It’s okay.” He covered your hand with his own when you touched his chest. “I’ll be here when you get back.” You gave him a warm smile.

‘No. I don’t want to go anywhere. Not missing out again.’

“Okay.” Steve nodded, stepping away from you. “I’ll be back soon.”