#SORRY THAT HAPPILY EVER AFTER QUESTION REALLY ACTIVATED ME

[kelseytheballerina]

I got a lot of asks on this topic with slight variations of essentially the same question so here goes.

Fake confidence is not confidence. It’s literally fake, it says that in the name. It’s pretending. That’s not terrible but if you’re wondering why all this time has gone by and you still haven’t become truly confident it’s because it’s fake! At best it will appear real to outsiders, which is nice, but you will still be miserable as the person who is inhabiting your body and living your life. Fake confidence only looks good until someone with authentic confidence walks into the room and shows you how it’s done. The truth is that most people who fake it until they make it, don’t ever make it. They are just hoping to be perceived as someone who has made it.

I’m sorry to tell you but if you’ve been doing affirmations for years and years and you’re still sending me asks about being confident, it’s not working. I can’t say if you’re doing it wrong, not doing it enough, or not believing it hard enough but either way, something’s gotta give. How many more years are you gonna waste?

You start building confidence in 2 ways: one, you get action-based self esteem. Get some hobbies and work on them. Learn some skills, get good grades, try something new. Do something with your days!! Make an effort!! Complete something!! Scrolling all day won’t give you a sense of accomplishment and when 5,7,10 years go by and you look up and realize that you have nothing going for yourself, you will obviouslyyyyy feel like crap. Reread this point over and over again. Two, get in tune with yourself and figure out what you like, dislike, and truly want. When you really know yourself like that, you will make moves accordingly. You won’t question everything you do and run all of your decisions past other people. You’ll just happily make decisions on your own accord. You will not get to know yourself on a deep enough level if you are online all day and that’s a fact. You’re constantly bombarded with everyone else’s content, everyone else’s opinions, everyone else’s sense of style. Your brain has become a frankstein monster of every other persons ideas. Who are you even? Do you even know? Without a bunch of tiktok girls to tell you what your new aesthetic of the month is, do you even know what you like doing, buying, wearing, how you like to decorate, or what you want to do as a morning routine? Or are you just gonna keep letting outsiders tell you that in January you’re a pink Pilates princess and in March you’re a clean girl and in July you’re that girl. Who are you?? You’ll never be confident if you’re always cosplaying other people. Log off and find yourself.

Stop crumbling every time someone doesn’t like you or what you do. Learn to like yourself! Stop letting the opinions of strangers hold you hostage. Do you like yourself? Okay then.

Remember that being confident doesn’t require you to think you’re the best of the best, the crème de la crème, the hottest thing walking. You can think your looks are overall average, and still be wildly confident. You can acknowledge that you aren’t the best in the world and still be confident. Not only is being less than perfect absolutely okay, it’s rooted in reality. When people try to boost your confidence by having you tell yourself that you’re essentially perfect in whatever domain, that’s toxic positivity and fake confidence yet again. Rid yourself of the thought that confidence always looks like arrogance and lying to yourself about being at the top of the pyramid. Yes you have shortcomings. Lots of them. So do I. And???

I just want to reiterate that lying to yourself hardly does anything for your confidence long term and it’s just so clear. If you are upset about the fact that your body is average, your face is average, you have little to no dating experience, and you haven’t been a part of any substantial activities since freshman year volleyball where you weren’t even that great and quit after one year, I don’t know why you think that pretending you’re Maddy Perez or Jennie while you halfheartedly recite affirmations that state you’re the sexiest woman in the room ✨, everyone is obsessed with you ✨, you attract nothing but life’s luxuries ✨ is really helping you. Like….this isn’t building your confidence really. Giving you a bandaid perhaps. But what would really make you feel better is to go out and get some activities into your schedule where you start at a low level and through your hard work you get better and better. You start working out and building the body you want. You accept the fact that you don’t need to be the prettiest girl in the world to enjoy yourself and have a fantastic life, so instead you style your hair and makeup in a way that you genuinely like and confidently go out into the world knowing and fully being okay with the fact that not everyone thinks you’re stunning but that’s okay. Because you are pleased when you look in the mirror. And there’s more to life than trying (and failing) to be everyone’s type. That’s much more progress than listening to “manifest looking like an instagram model 10 hour 3D audio” every night.

#yours truly ♡

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

“you’re the only one that makes me Powerless tonight”

“and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway.”

synopsis// alone and lonely were two very different things. gojo was never alone but he was tired of being lonely, at least that was until you showed up.

pairing// satoru gojo x gn!reader

word count// 1.4k

contents// angsty gojo?, gojo never turns off his infinity and never lets people touch him in any context!, ooc gojo probably, angst in general if u squint

notes// yep you guessed it! a waterparks song did in fact inspire this! todays inspiration is powerless!!! wooooooo!!!

Gojo Satoru was by no means alone. Whether he was with the higher-ups or other sorcerers or with his students, he was always with someone, around someone. Gojo Satoru was by no means alone, but he was by every means lonely. There was always a wall between him and everyone, metaphorically and quite literally, considering his infinity. only one person had ever been able to get past it, and that was when he was in jujutsu high himself, only one person until you. 

Yaga had called Gojo in one day for what he thought was a meeting, but upon arriving, he was met with you, standing there in all your glory, hands clasped together as you smiled sweetly at Gojo, who could now actively feel his pulse quickening the longer he stared at you. 

“Gojo, meet L/N; they're a new teacher here. In fact, they'll be working with you and your first years," Yaga catches Gojo up as he begins walking toward you two.

“Hi! Nice to meet you,” you say happily as you offer your hand out to him for a handshake. 

Gojo catches himself about to shake your hand but stops himself before he can do so. That’s not Gojo; Gojo doesn't shake hands, and Gojo doesn’t turn off his infinity, so why was he about to? just for you? He clears his throat and smiles smugly. “Sorry, pretty. I don't shake hands.”

Your mouth forms a slight “o” shape as you retract your hand and go back to clasping it together with your other. “Sorry!” you apologize sincerely. 

Yaga quirks up an eyebrow at Gojo in question, having witnessed the whole interaction, and the only thing Gojo can do is flash his signature smile. 

Yaga sighs. “Right well, that’s all. They start tomorrow with you, Gojo. Get them informed on your class, yeah?” He says this before walking out of the room. 

“Nice to meet you!” You call out to Yaga, who is long gone at this point. “So Gojo, what’s our class like?”

Gojo catches himself smiling like an idiot at your use of “our.” He likes the sound of that; he likes it a lot, a little too much, actually.

“Just call me Satoru.”

Everything after that was history. Gojo and you had quickly taken to each other like no other, catching everyone by surprise. Mostly because Gojo hadn't let himself take to anyone since he was in Jujutsu High, so why should you be any different? Nobody knew why, and he certainly didn't know why either, which is what scared him; it’s what’s made him keep you at arm's length; it’s what’s made him keep the quite literal invisible wall between you two.

But none of that stopped you; you were still just as enticed by Gojo as was everybody else, but you were different. You didn't fall for him because he was Gojo, the strongest sorcerer; you fell for him because he was just Satoru to you; you saw him when he was see-through, and maybe that's exactly why he keeps you at arms length. Because being truly known scares Gojo, allowing someone to truly know him again is what keeps Gojo up at night, even if deep down that's all he really wants. 

It’s been about a year at this point of you and Gojo being friends that aren't just friends but also aren't together but also aren't not together. In simpler terms, it's been about a year at this point of you and Gojo being together without actually being together. This isn’t to say you haven't tried; you have, kind of. You’ve never wanted to push too hard, afraid that it would do more harm than good. You would try and plan dates with Gojo, telling him you’d make time for him and that you were waiting on his greenlight, but apparently his light was always red, occasionally yellow, but never green. never.

But now you’re sick of waiting for the right time. You're sick of not being pushy; you're sick of being whatever it is you are with Gojo; you’re either together or you're not. You need answers; you need to know if he needs you like you need him, which is how you found yourself at his front door at midnight. You find yourself hesitating to knock on his door but end up knocking anyway; you didn't come out all this way in the cold only to end up not knocking. After a few moments, you're still out in the cold, so you knock harder, only to end up knocking on Gojo, well—you would have had his infinity been off.

“Y/n?” he asks grogily. 

“Gojo,” you reply back flatly, nodding as a form of greeting.

Gojo’s face scrunches up in confusion and slight disgust at his last name coming from you as he moves out of the way to allow you in. 

“Did I do something?” he asks curiously as he watches you walk into his living room. 

“yes.. no! .. maybe? ugh, I don't know,” you respond vaguely as you stand in front of his couch and turn to look at him. 

Gojo now finds himself a few feet in front of you, every part of him aching to just hold you. “You don't know?” he asks quietly. 

you groan. “What are we, Gojo?”

Gojo winces at you using his last name again. “Can you stop calling me Gojo?”

You frown. “okay fine. What are we, Satoru?” You purposely draw out his first name as if to mock him. 

He matches your frown, his eyebrows scrunching together as he questions, “Where is this coming from?”

You scoff. “You can't even tell me!”

"Y/n no, I'm just confused," Gojo responds sheepishly. 

You sigh. “Satoru, I'm in love with you.”

Gojo goes wide-eyed; he had pretty much already known, but hearing you say it outright still takes him by surprise, and suddenly, with the way his pulse is quickening, he's taken back to the first time he met you. “Y/n-“

You don't give him a chance to speak, raising your finger at him as if telling him to shut up, and he does. “I am so in love with you, but I can’t keep doing whatever we’re doing, Satoru.”

“What are we doing?” he asks with a frown. 

“I don't know!” you exclaim. “That's the problem, Satoru! I need to know if you’re in because I have been in since the moment I met you, Satoru, so now it’s your turn. Do you love me, Satoru?”

Gojo bites the inside of his cheek, and his eyes are stinging; he might just actually cry. He inhales and exhales deeply. “Y/n, I love you so much that it scares me,” he whispers back because he thinks if he talks any louder, his voice will crack. 

Now it's your turn for your eyes to sting, along with your lips starting to tremble. Scratch that—every part of you is beginning to tremble as you watch him step closer to you. “Then prove it,” you reply meekly yet sternly. 

Gojo doesn’t say a word. The way he wants to prove it doesn't involve him speaking; it involves him wrapping you in his embrace, which is exactly what he does, and you go stiff at feeling him touch you for the first time. You blink a few times in disbelief before grabbing whatever part of him you can get your hands on—his back, shoulders, arms, neck, hair, face—everything and anything. You’re trying to memorize his body whole in case this is the first and only chance you’ll get to ever touch him.

He stifles a laugh at how your hands won't stay still on him, and he kisses your forehead, and the two of you stay like that for a few moments, his lips against your forehead, while you try to memorize Gojo whole. Eventually, you finally stop and wrap your arms around him just like his are around you; your heart is about to practically jump out of your chest with how hard it’s beating. 

Gojo is the first to break the silence. “So, I was thinking maybe we could get away? call it a date?” He mumbles against your forehead. 

“Is this real?” you ask breathlessly.

Gojo laughs as he pulls away slightly, arms still around you, in order to look at you face-to-face. “Of course this is real. Am I just that amazing that you can't believe I'm real?” he asks as a smirk tugs at his lips. 

Despite the grin on your face, you roll your eyes at him. "Oh, shut up! It's just... does this mean you're in?" You ask nervously. 

Gojo hums before he leans in and kisses you passionately, yet keeps it short and sweet by breaking the kiss just to mumble.

                                   “Yeah, i'm in.”

© LITTLEXBIMBO

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk oneshot #jujutsu kaisen one shot #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x gender neutral reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo oneshot #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru oneshot #bimbo’s one shots #bimbo’s one shots; jjk #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk drabbles #jujutsu kaisen drabbles

[shina913]

Stalemate, Part 2 | MYG

Stalemate (Mini-series)

Definition:  (1) Chess. a position of the pieces in which a player cannot move any piece except the king and cannot move the king without putting it in check. (2) any position or situation in which no action can be taken or progress made; deadlock

Pairing: Woodworker!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: breakup!AU; toxic relationships; angst; fluff; smut; heavy drama

Summary: "The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

Word count: 8K+ words

Warnings (more written in individual chapters): ANGST; problematic exes; relationship insecurities; alcohol consumption; cussing; miscommunication; past infidelity (reader had an affair with a married man but not detailed); vulnerable confessions; jealousy; verbal confrontation; lots of crying; it just gets really dramatic

A/N: Okay so...now this final installment is just...ANGST...but with payoff (I think)??? Anyway, this is un-beta'd so I hope the story makes sense!

Now…

“You think he’s still butthurt about the whole thing?” Hyejin asks.

“I don’t know what to think.” You shrugged and took a sip of your drink. “I thought we had a clean break.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s what you think. Is this the first time you two have seen each other since things ended?”

Narrowing your lips into a thin line, you nodded. Her eyebrows lift in disbelief. “Wow…really?”

“Yep,” you say, popping the ‘p.’

“But how is that possible? He still hangs out with Namjoon and with the gallery’s construction–”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hye…somehow, our meetings with you guys never overlapped.” You figured part of it was due to Namjoon’s very meticulous planning.

Hyejin’s eyes widened. “Damn. And is it true that you both unfollowed each other on your socials?”

You let out an exasperated breath. “Come on, Hyejin. Isn’t that just sort of a natural thing to do after you break up? How many of your exes do you have on your socials?”

She grimaced. “Uhm…a few of them?”

Now it was your turn to bulge your eyes at her. “What?”

“Yeah. They’re still on my list.”

Your mouth falls open. “Do you ever view their profile, lurk, and see what they’re up to?”

“No, not like that,” she says. “They pop up because they’re on my feed but not because I actively seek them. They’re just there…it’s like a useless appendage or something.”

“But why even keep them there in the first place if they serve no purpose?”

“I don’t know. It’s just not a huge deal to me. I don’t bear any ill will toward them and I hope they think the same of me.”

“What does Namjoon think about all that?”

“It’s whatever. His ex is still on his list but it’s not something that keeps me up at night,” she explains. Then she gasps, looks at you, and remembers something. “Shit, I'm sorry. No offense, babe.” She reaches across to squeeze your hand assuringly.

You smile and appreciate her consideration. “None taken, babe.”

Hyejin smiles back. “Anyway, Joon and I have an understanding that all of those relationships are done. It’s about us now.”

You sigh in frustration, recalling how things went down with Yoongi. “I guess I wish everyone was in the same mindset as you both are.”

“Put it this way—I’m not bothered by it and neither is Namjoon. But if one day, he suddenly asks me to delete them off my list then I would do it, no question.”

“Really?” You did your best to hide your skepticism. Hyejin normally didn’t allow her man to dictate what she could and couldn’t do in her life.

“I would do it out of love and respect for him. If I asked him to do the same, he would too. It’s not about trying to prove a point or compromising your beliefs to please your partner. This person, whom you love, is setting clear boundaries. The question is whether you love that person enough to set a new boundary so you can honor theirs. It all depends on the situation!”

“I don’t know, Hye–you’re always so headstrong, though.”

“And so are you, YN. It’s why we’re besties,” she giggles. “But you know, when you find the right person,” she looks off into the distance and catches Namjoon’s eye, making her smile fondly, “…You wouldn’t mind loosening the reins a bit.”

You took a long swig of your drink. “Wow…you’ve changed Ms. Ahn.”

“Yeah, sometimes we need to embrace change. Although, I do miss my hoe-ing days every now and then,” she winked at you.

Truthfully, you envied her. When you and Yoongi were together, she would tease you about monogamy, yet she was always so supportive of your relationship.

You shook your head. “Well…personally, I feel like cleaning out your social media timeline is a way to move on.”

“That’s just part of it, babe. If a person wants to move on, they can and will…with or without social media.” Just then, she looks past your shoulder as something new catches her eye.

You turn your head in curiosity to find Yoongi craning his neck through the crowd as if searching for someone, until his eyes land on you. You locked gazes for a few seconds before he started moving toward you. You quickly turn away.

“Looks like he wants to talk,” Hyejin remarks. As Yoongi closes in, you see him from your peripheral vision.

“I’m gonna go check on Namjoonie,” she says with a small smile at you. Before she walks away, she gives Yoongi a quick nod.

Then…

After a marathon of morning calls and virtual meetings, you took advantage of the lull to stretch your legs and maybe attempt to have lunch with Yoongi. He’s been insanely busy with projects as well and though you stayed over at each other’s places often, you barely spent quality time together in the last week.

You emerge from the room and hear anxious mumbling by his workshop.

“Hey,” you poked your head from the corner to see him in the middle of a tense conversation with Namjoon.

“Hey, YN!”

“Joon! Yoongi didn’t mention that you were stopping by!” You walked over to give him a hug.

“Oh, it was just a pit stop for me, among other things I'm supposed to do today,” he smiled.

“Why don't you stay for lunch? I’m making–”

“That won’t be necessary,” Yoongi says curtly, making you recoil. Yoongi sees the worried expression on your face and tries to remedy it. “What I mean to say is, Namjoon was on his way out anyway and he just told me that he’s got a full afternoon ahead.”

You turn to Namjoon, who grimaces. “I…appreciate the offer, YN but Yoongi’s right. I’ve got a lot of errands to run. Maybe next time, huh?”

“Sure, of course!” You look at him and back at Yoongi and decide not to push any further. You already knew that one of Yoongi’s clients has been extra demanding so you were on a need-to-know basis.

You leave the workshop and walk into the kitchen to check the pantry. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while so instead of trying to make something, you just pull up the food delivery app on your phone to order something more convenient.

“Jagi, is there anything in particular that you’re craving for?”

“No, baby. Surprise me,” he answers distantly, continuing his conversation with Namjoon.

While placing the order, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their argument through the divider.

“Bro, I don’t know how you could have just let the deadline pass. Jiwon placed the order months ago and I get here and you’ve got other orders getting picked up for shipment. Orders that were placed after hers. You said that it was totally doable–”

“I know what I said, Namjoonah!” He lets out a frustrated groan. “Look, just tell Jiwon that we ran into a supplier issue. I’ll fucking fix it, okay?”

“What the fuck do you expect me to tell her?”

“Can’t you figure that part out? Isn’t this why you’re the client relations half of this business?”

You hear footsteps approach in your direction so you retreat back into the bedroom and pretend that this was just a regular business squabble between friends.

Namjoon lets out a grunt of annoyance.

“Okay, look,” Yoongi relents. “Just stop stressing out. I’ll call Jiwon myself later to let her know that her shit will get done. Alright?”

Namjoon nods. “Thanks, man. She’s in a pissy mood. Better you than me.”

******

The weekend finally arrives and you and Yoongi have plans.

You were such a nervous wreck that you start to flap your elbows as if they were wings to cool your sweaty armpits. You were meeting Yoongi’s mom tonight for dinner. She lives a few hours away and rarely visits. She was looking forward to getting to know the new woman in her son’s life.

You make your way in front of the mirror, fluffing your hair and doing some final checks on your makeup. You lean in closer and flash your teeth, making sure that you didn’t have any lipstick stains on them.

“How much longer do you need?” Yoongi asks while he leans against the doorframe. Looking at his reflection, he was handsome as ever with his hair pulled back in a ponytail and a casual look. As much as you enjoyed him dressed in his coveralls while he worked, you always considered his date-night looks a treat.

“Two minutes.” You smooth your dress one more time and turn around to make sure that your skirt didn’t have any creases on it.

“We’re just meeting my mom for dinner, not the queen.”

“I know that. I just want to make a good impression,” you rationalized. “How do I look?” You turn to him and put your hands to the sides, presenting yourself. 

“Beautiful,” he says with a soft smile.

******

Your laughs ring through the restaurant after Yoongi’s mom make a cheeky joke at her son’s expense.

“Eomma…” He warns.

“Lighten up, adeul! It’s just a little joke.”

“Sure, ma,” he responds dryly.

She sipped on her wine and turns her attention to you. “You know, YN, I really like you! You’re just so…gah…the word is escaping me right now!”

You tensed up in anticipation of the next word that would come out of her mouth.

“Refreshing! That’s what I meant to say. You’re such a breath of fresh air!” She exclaims.

Your shoulders visibly relax at the compliment.

“Thank you, Mrs. Min–”

“Please, call me eomma,” she smiled warmly. “Let’s skip the formalities! Even better, we should get together for drinks sometime–” then she puts her hand up to the side of her mouth as if to whisper in an exaggerated manner to you, “You know, without Mr. Grumpy Cat here,” she mumbled.

You both giggle like close girlfriends while Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“I’d love that, eomma! Why don’t we exchange numbers after this and we can get something on our calendars?” You proposed.

His mom beamed. “Excellent! The sooner, the better!”

You smiled excitedly at how well you were warming up to Yoongi’s mom. You had a very different idea of how this night was going to turn out. The server comes by to check in, asking if there was anything else that they can get you. You picked up your wineglass and polished off whatever was left in it.

“Can I please get another glass of cabernet?” You ask him.

“Of course, miss.” He asks the rest of the table, to which his mom requests that her glass be topped off as well. Yoongi declines.

“You know, I should say–I’m shocked that Yoongi let you order that second glass of wine.”

Your brows creased in confusion. You cleared your throat, “I…beg your pardon?” You ask slowly.

“Well, back then, Jiwon–Yoongi’s ex–she didn’t drink much. On the rare occasion that she did, Yoongi made sure to cap it at a glass. She was always uptight, that one. Nice girl, very formal, comes from a good family. But oof…so uptight. Unfortunately, that’s Yoongi’s type though…” she remarks flippantly. 

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Eomoni…please!”

“Was there something wrong with what I said? Are we not supposed to talk about Jiwon? We’re just having a conversation here.”

You shift your attention to Yoongi’s direction, where he keeps his eyes low. Yoongi himself had never mentioned her name to you, but you knew of their history.

You’d heard that name before…it was the same name of the person that he and Namjoon were arguing about recently. 

Deep down, you sincerely hoped that those were two different Jiwons.

******

The rest of dinner goes on without any further awkward conversations about certain ex-fiancees. You bid his mom farewell and promise to give her a call to schedule a girls’ night when she’s back in town.

Yoongi, on the other hand, looks exhausted when you get in the car. “I can drive if you’re too–”

“Nah, it’s fine. You had a couple glasses. Besides, it’s a short ride, I can manage.”

After a few minutes of silence, you break the tension on the drive back to his place.

“Your mom is so adorable. I love her!” You beamed excitedly.

“Yeah, seems like you two really hit it off. I didn’t realize you had a lot in common,” he says wryly.

You laughed. “What’s the matter with you? Aren’t you glad that your mom and I are getting along well?”

“Of course I am,” he replies, still looking straight ahead down the road, his expression unreadable.

“If you’re happy then why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy? Was it because she mentioned Jiwon?”

He lets out a frustrated groan. “Please! Can we not bring that up again?”

“Is it because she’s a princess who doesn’t drink and obeys everything that you ask her to do?”

“YN, please!” He smacks his hand on the steering wheel. “Please…just…let’s not hash that out, okay?”

You hold your tongue and cross your arms over your chest, seething the rest of the way back.

When he pulls into the driveway, he turns off the engine, then steps out of the car while you remain in the passenger seat.

“Are you throwing a tantrum?”

“No,” you say shortly.

He gets back in the car and coaxes the information out of you. “Come on, what’s going through your mind?”

“I was just thinking–maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that second glass of wine.”

He lets out a sound of exasperation and grips his forehead. “Are we still on that?”

“No, really though…maybe…” you shrug, “I don’t know, maybe I should be more like Jiwon? You know, a good girl.”

“What is your point, YN?”

“My point, Yoongi, is…why are you with me?”

“Why am I with you? W-what do you mean?”

“Why do you love me?” You press him.

He stares at you, taken aback by your interrogation. “Why do I love you?” He repeats. “What kind of a question is that?”

“A legitimate one!”

He scoffs angrily. “I don’t have time to deal with this shit right now, YN…I’m stressed, and I’m–”

“Okay. I get it,” you huff. You grab your coat and purse and step out of the car.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He barked.

“I’m calling a rideshare to take me back home!” You spat over your shoulder, pulling up your app to summon a car.

“YN, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Just leave me alone. It seems like you need a little bit of space. So I will give you that!”

At half past 1AM, your phone buzzes while you lie awake in bed. You picked it up off the nightstand to see Yoongi’s name and face flashing on your screen.

You second-guess answering…but you were the idiot who picked a fight with him. You press the green button and hold the phone to your ear, saying nothing.

“Baby…come home, please,” he begs you.

“I don’t know…I just need some time,” was all you say before you both hang up.

After another half an hour of pathetically staring up at your ceiling, you sat up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Like a lovesick puppy, you put on your sweats, call another rideshare to take you back to his house, where you crawl to bed and into his waiting arms.

Now…

“Hey,” Yoongi says awkwardly as he approaches you.

“Hi,” you say icily. You couldn’t forget the comments he made to Namjoon about you while you were in the bathroom.

“Uh, listen…I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?”

“Y-you know,” he stutters. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Which part exactly?” You ask him. “That I’m loud and bring too much drama with me? Or that I’m a bad cook?” You scoffed. “I used to cook for you all those nights when you had no time to make yourself a meal because you were so busy with work. You used to say that you loved my cooking!”

“You weren’t a terrible cook,” you counters. “I just…I was being stupid.”

“Oh, I know,” you tell him and laughed softly.

Moments of uncomfortable silence later, he asks, “So uh…how’ve you been?”

“I’m good,” you answer sincerely. “You?”

“Great,” he replies. “Are you…here with anyone?”

You chuckled at his forwardness. “No, but I’m supposed to meet someone in an hour.”

His lips parted slightly, “Ah, I see,” he smiled tightly. “Like…a date or…a boyfriend?”

“What’s it to you?” You smiled enigmatically. 

“Just trying to make conversation...and I was just curious.” He looked like he wanted to say more after that but he looks away and takes a swig of his drink.

“What about you? Did you bring a date?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t spent enough time with anyone to bring them to things like this.”

“I see,” you answer. “So, just casually dating, huh?”

“What’s it to you?” He returns your question.

“Touche!” You both chuckled.

“I thought you were going to start mouthing off to me and Namjoon earlier by the bathrooms,” he laughs.

You swat the air. “Old YN may have but…I’m a changed woman now.”

“Oh, really?” He asks.

“Yeah. You know, it’s been a while and I’ve changed my ways. I try to watch what I say these days.”

Yoongi smiles guiltily.

“Besides, I used to talk shit about you all the time so…I think we’re even now.”

“Oh you have, haven’t you?”

“Oh yeah…many times! A bitch was bitter back then,” you laughed.

“I’d love to hear this!” He leans in excitedly.

“Hear what?”

“Tell me what you used to say about me.”

Chuckling, you eventually relent. “Hmm…okay, let’s see.” While you try to recall all of the angst that you used to spew at Hyejin, you are briefly distracted by his fingers, drumming lazily on the bar’s surface.

You blink away memories of his hands and other things that they were capable of. “Well, my biggest issue with you was that you had trouble letting go of the past.”

“Interesting,” he remarks.

“That, plus you were a pushover,” you added.

He doubles over in laughter. When he calms down, he says, “So…I get too hung on up on the past and I’m a pushover. That’s why you left me?”

You cock your head to the side and turn serious. “C’mon. You know exactly why I left you.”

Then…

You drive down Yoongi’s street to find a sleek SUV blocking his driveway. You didn’t recognize it but figured it may have been a client trying to meet with him to oversee their order’s progress. Not a huge deal, you thought. You parked a block away instead.

You walk through the door with a box of pastries that you picked up on the way from your place. Yoongi loved their almond croissants so you grabbed a couple extra as a treat.

You caught sight of him standing in the workshop, deep in conversation with some unseen guests who were obscured by the divider.

With a big smile, you walk toward him to greet him. He sees you out of the corner of his eyes and a look of panic mars his features. “YN…hey.” He was surprised to see you.

You turn your attention to the two other people in the room–Namjoon and an unknown female who was crouched down, closely inspecting the legs on these accent chairs that Yoongi had tirelessly worked on for weeks.

“Hey, YN,” Namjoon greets you, while you are yet to be acknowledged by this persnickety client dressed in a designer shift dress and equally expensive heels. Her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail...not a strand out of place.

A chill ran down your spine, making you wrap your arms protectively around your chest.

“Why are the legs uneven?” Were the first words you hear out of her mouth. “And it looks like a few of them don’t even have any finishing coats yet.”

Her voice was small, but firm in tone. It sounded like the type that was used in professional settings or presentations. It was also the type that turned shrill when provoked.

She looks at Yoongi pointedly, awaiting his answer.

“Uh, by the way, this is Jiwon, my client. Jiwon, this is YN.”

You arched an eyebrow in realization. “Oh…hi there,” you say a little too loudly. You stuck your hand out to her, offering a handshake. Her eyes flicked down to your hand while her face remained stiff. There was a slight wince in her nose, as if she smelled something bad.

Before you withdraw your hand in embarrassment, she clasps her hand in yours to shake it gently. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m Yoongi’s girlfriend,” you add.

She smiles tightly and proceeds with her inspection on the products.

Namjoon stands there, breaking a sweat, seemingly stuck in limbo. The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

“I brought some pastries, by the way. I got you your favorite, ja–” 

“That’s great. Uhm, could you just put in the kitchen? We’re a little busy here,” Yoongi says, while closely following Jiwon’s every move.

“Oh.” The shortness of his tone stung you, but you soldier on, marking your territory.

“Anyone want anything to drink? Coffee, maybe?”

“I-I’ll take one,” Namjoon says.

“What about you, Jiwon?”

“She doesn’t drink coffee,” Yoongi answers for her.

Jiwon turns her head toward you. "I'm good, thanks for the offer," she says, before continuing her inspection.

Your chest feels tight all of a sudden but you don’t make it obvious. Instead, you smile politely and leave them to do their business.

You move into the kitchen to set your box of pastries aside then set up the single-brew machine to make some coffee for Namjoon.

Distantly, you hear their conversation through the wall.

“I don’t know. I’m really disappointed in the quality. Even the upholstering is mediocre. They look and feel rushed." She narrows her eyes at him. "What’s going on?”

Yoongi nervously clears his throat. “Nothing. All that stuff's fixable,” he says evenly. "All I need is a couple more days to do it.”

“If I give you an extension, can you actually deliver on the quality this time?”

“Of course! You don’t need to worry about a thing,” he answers confidently.

“Alright," she says with a hint of reluctance. "How much time do you need? And is this going to cost me extra?”

“I’ll, uh…I’ll eat up the cost since it was an issue on my end. And regarding timing–”

“How are you gonna get this all done? Are you sure that you can do this?”

“Yes, I told you–there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll hire more guys and pay overtime. We’ll get this done for you.”

You notice how he doesn't mind calmly and patiently reassuring her multiple times, no matter how many times she asks the same question to him in different forms and verbiage. Meanwhile, he starts getting annoyed when you ask him what he wants for dinner multiple times, after deferring to you to decide.

She's seemingly satisfied with his affirmations, she relents. “Okay. I guess Namjoon and I can just circle back?” She turns to Namjoon, who nods in agreement.

All three of them walk toward the front door.

“Yeah, just call him. Or you can call me directly to follow up, too.” Yoongi offers.

“I’ll just reach out to both of you, I guess,” she answers dryly

You peek from the kitchen just in time to see her give Yoongi a lingering hug. “Thanks again, Yoongi. I really appreciate this.”

“Of course…anything for you, Jiwon.”

With that, your heart sinks to your stomach and you suddenly have the urge to vomit. You retreat into the bathroom and hurl but nothing comes out.

******

Later that evening, you were working late on the restaurant revamp contract. You had to place a call to your other supplier to make sure that their quote was still good since the client had asked for it to be adjusted, for the fifth time.

It was a good thing you’d work with this supplier for nearly a decade now. You pretty much had the owner on speed-dial.

Unfortunately, Yoongi was planning on pulling an all-nighter so he could finish one project to make fixes to the other project that he messed up.

“Jagiii!” You yell out from his bedroom, hoping he’d hear from all the loud banging he was making.

“Yeah?” he bellowed from his workshop.

“Could I just have five minutes for a phone call?”

“Can’t you just take your call outside?” He responds.

That was weird, you thought. You could, technically, take the call outside but you needed your laptop and documents in front of you in order to make changes in real-time. 

You walked out of the bedroom and into his workshop. “Please? It’s only for a few minutes. I just really need to sweet-talk this supplier so I can get this contract sealed.”

“No!" he bristles. "I’m so behind on this project already. Every minute counts!”

You scoffed. “Seriously? What’s five minutes? This project’s already delayed. Not to mention that your backlog is nuts–”

He looked up at you and snapped, “Exactly! Do you think my work is easy? Do you think any of this–” he waved his arm at the room, “...is easy?”

You chuckled at his abrupt change in tone. “What the hell crawled up your ass?”

He huffed out a breath. “I’m saying, that I hate how you think that I can just chill every time and pull me away from my work–”

“Woah-woah,” you stop him right then. “I never said anything like that. I’m literally asking for five minutes and you’re here getting your panties in a twist.”

He tosses the mallet and piece of metal sheeting haphazardly on his work table. He raked his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “See, this is why I can’t get this damned thing done–”

“You can’t or won’t?”

“What?” He asks, utterly confused.

“You can’t get it done or you don’t want to get it done because you want to delay it further? Because getting it done means the end of your contract with her.” You walk away from the workshop and into the living room.

“Are we really going to argue about this again?” He asks, still standing in his workshop.

“Yes!” You say loudly from the other room.

Seconds later, you see him round the corner and join you. “Why? Why do we need to argue about this? What’s the point?” 

You let out a sharp breath scowled at him. “I heard the way you talked to her! Going out of your way to pay your guys overtime, moving your whole schedule around to deliver her shit…and that goodbye hug?” You let out a pained, mocking laugh.

You held off for as long as you could but you were already deep into a jealous rage. The way he spoke so gently to her, trying to assure her that she didn’t need to stress off her order. Offering to cover the extra expenses, was too much.

“She’s a client and we just happen to have a history. So?”

His flippant comment further incensed you.

"That's the point! You have history!"

He groaned. “You're getting pissed at this? When it was pretty much the same situation from when we ran into your married guy.”

“My married g—" You scoff at him. "Now you’re turning this conversation about me? My past?”

“Well, yeah! You acted all weird when we saw what’s-his-face!” He retorts.

“Right, but in my case, that was the first time I’d seen him in a while. Have I seen him again since then? No. But you? You are working with Jiwon, day in and out!” You exclaim angrily.

“‘Call me directly…’” You say mockingly. “‘Anything for you...'”

“We have a professional relationship, okay? She is my client.”

“Couldn’t you get different clients? It’s not like you have a shortage in your backlog.” You countered.

“Jiwon has been my longtime client. I’ve made many connections because of her.”

You clenched your jaw and seethed.

“You go out to dinners and have drinks with your clients all the time! You come home late after partying all night,” he scolds.

“I am not partying!” You argue.

“Sure,” he says sarcastically.

“At least I was never engaged to any of my clients,” you countered bitterly.

He glared at you. “So she’s my ex-fiancee, big fucking deal! The operative term, being ‘ex,’ okay? What is your point here, exactly? Why are you getting all worked up about this?”

You stood up from the couch and angrily stomped toward him. “Because it hurts my feelings! And I can’t help but think that you still want her.”

“But I don’t! I love you!” He insists.

“Why do you love me?” You asked in a sudden, calmer tone.

“What?” He’s taken aback by how unreasonable and ridiculous you were sounding.

“I’m asking--Why. Do you. Love me.” You punctuate each phrase. “Why are you with me? Are you with me just to prove to yourself, or to her that you’ve moved on?”

“Why are you being like this? We’re arguing in circles here!” He yells out in frustration.

“Okay, fine. I’ll make it easier for you then. Let me ask you this–are you really over her? Because if you’re not…fuck…just tell me and we can put a stop to this craziness right now.”

“I’m with you, aren’t I? What else do you want from me?”

Heat prickled at your forehead and you start to taste bile in the back of your throat. What else do you want from me? Like he was doing you a fucking favor?

“What I really want to know from you is–why is it that my ex is a problem for you? So I ran into the guy. A guy whom I haven’t had any contact with at all since I ended things and still haven’t had contact after the fact? And yet, you expect me to be completely fine with you communicating regularly with your ex? ”

The silence is deafening as he’s despondent for a minute. At this point, the tears flow freely down your cheeks.

“Don’t you think there’s anything wrong with that?” You ask him pointedly.

“I don’t see it that way.”

It wasn’t the answer that you were expecting so you drive your point home. “And you wouldn’t consider breaking off a working relationship with your ex-fiancee even after I’ve told you that the amount of access that she has to you makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable?”

Yoongi shook his head slowly. “I just can’t drop a longtime client like that.”

“You mean you won’t drop her.”

“Please, just listen–”

“You know how I feel right now?” You interrupt him. “I feel like a shiny new thing that you’re just using to prove to yourself that you’re over her. It makes me feel like a piece of shit.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, a pained expression on his face. “You think I’m using you as a rebound? Is that it?”

“Aren’t I? Maybe you only liked me because I’m the complete opposite of her! You know, I’m loud, I like to go out…I drink…I’m fun…” You swipe at the tears that spilled out of your eyes. “I’m not the type you bring home to mom. Not the type you’d marry, right?”

“For fuck’s sake…can you stop thinking that everyone’s out to hurt you?”

“Do you really love me?” You ask him point blank.

He returns your gaze and held it there for a minute before answering. “Yes, of course I do.”

“More than you love her?”

He is dumbfounded by your question. It was unexpected but you needed to know…desperately. You needed to know to help put your fears aside. Unable to meet your gaze, he looks away.

His reticence told you that you were at an impasse. Locked in a stalemate, without any moves left.

Swallowing what felt like glass shards down your throat, you say, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You turn on your heel and walk off.

The next morning, you packed up your things and left.

Now…

“So who did you love more, me or Jiwon?”

Growing flustered by your invasive question, he panics. “What is this, an interrogation?”

“Oh, come on…” you say in jest. “We’re just two people having an open conversation here.”

“Are you serious?” He laughs, his gummy smile in full display. “So I really have to answer that?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? It’s not like we have ties to each other anymore. We’ve had enough time apart, time to think things through.”

“Why do you need to know so badly?”

“Because! I feel like I’m entitled to that information,” you say in a light, joking tone. Then, you turn a bit more serious. “Also…we used to care about each other at one point in our lives. I feel that I’ve earned the right to ask.”

He shifts his weight between his feet, taking a sip of his drink–you hoped–would help give him the extra push to answer. Except, he doesn’t and instead grins shyly.

“Still no answer, Mr. Min? Alright, fine!” You raise your hands in defeat. “I’ll give you easier one.” You cleared your throat. “Are you still scared?”

He finds your question humorous. “Scared of what?” He clarifies.

“Repeating the whole process. To start from scratch again–the whole getting to know one another…falling in love…only to be faced with the possibility of it not working out. We talked about that a long time ago, remember?”

His face visibly relaxed. “I do…very clearly, in fact, now that you mention it.”

“And?”

He moistened his lips and stared straight at you. “The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over.”

You feel your throat tighten in an instant. Your mouth opens to suck in a sharp breath. “Damn.” You start to fan yourself…now you were all flustered.

He kept his eyes on you. They wordlessly profess everything he’s been feeling all those years that you spent apart.

“And I agree that you’re entitled to know that I loved you more.”

You were at a loss. All that pomp and confidence that you felt had shriveled up at his confession.

“Well, you asked. So there you go.”

You laughed. “I know…I deserved that,” you say uncomfortably.

Your speechlessness makes him smirk triumphantly, making you both chuckle and effectively breaking the tension.

From a distance, the music fades under the chatter while Namjoon’s voice booms through the microphone. “Good evening, everybody!”

You and Yoongi turn your attention to the middle of the room, where Namjoon stood along with Hyejin.

“I just wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight. I’m so happy that I have great friends and partners who are huge supporters of local art. We have so much talent here that we need to foster and grow. I’m glad that we have a space to promote this art so that other people can familarize themselves with it and appreciate it as well. I’d like to thank my friends who have enabled me and listen to me whine about this concept for years–it’s finally happening! And of course, my fiancee–Hyejin…baby, thank you for being patient with me and supporting my dream. I love you so much!” The crowd gushes as he pulls her in for a sweet kiss.

“And with that, let’s keep this party going, huh?” Namjoon hands the microphone back to the DJ and the music swells once more.

Yoongi turns to you suddenly. “Do you want to dance?”

You laugh, “Seriously?”

“Why not? It’s the least you can do for me after I bared my soul to you,” he says.

You roll your eyes playfully at him. “Alright! Just one song,” you say to him.

You both make your way to the makeshift dancefloor and start bobbing your head to the beat. You sway your hips to the music while you both sing along to a song familiar to both of you.

As the music plays on, the crowd gathers around you, pushing you closer together.

Although you are hyper-aware of his presence and proximity, you continue to dance to the beat. You vaguely feel his hand on the small of your back, in a sort of protective stance while the crowd closes in. At a certain point, your hips were nearly fused together, and your faces were mere inches away.

And there it was, that familiar scent of pine and citrus. The memories you had locked away years ago had resurfaced once more–coming at you in a flash while you stared into his eyes. You felt yourself fall deeper into them. The inches between you decreased…and soon enough, the tips of your noses brushed against each other.

Then, you unexpectedly jump, startled at the sound and feel of your phone blaring from your pocket. You fish it out to see the name ‘Wooyoung’ flashing on the screen.

You decline the call but send a text message, saying that it was a little loud and that you’d call back.

You back away from Yoongi, suddenly desperate to enforce some distance between you two lest you completely lose the last shred of self-control that you were clinging onto.

Once you were finally away from the crowd and into a more open, quiet space, you say to him apologetically, “I have to go.”

He pursed his lips as if trying to hold himself back from saying something. You stand there, waiting and wondering if he would change his mind and just come out with it.

After a few beats of silence, he forces his mouth into a smile, then nods. “Alright,” he says simply.

You blinked slowly. It was a pathetic effort at a reality check for you. He said the right words and gave you the absolute closure that you needed for your relationship. A small part of you wondered what would have happened if Wooyoung hadn’t tried to call you. Would you have gone in all the way to kiss him?

Sadly, it didn’t work out that way so you’ll never know. “It was good to see you.” Your smile didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah…” he breathed out. “It was good to see you, too.”

“Well…I guess this is goodbye.”

You don’t wait for him to respond and instead, you turn on your heel and walk toward the exit. You tried to search around for Hyejin and Namjoon to say your ‘goodbyes’ but they looked like they were deep in conversation with another patron. You decide to shoot her a text when you got to your car instead.

Once you step out and the cool air hits you, you release one, big breath that you felt that you were onto for so long.

******

You sat alone in your car, contemplating the events that just unfolded minutes ago. You never thought you’d see him again–never. But, as fate would have it, your best friends managed to link up. How fucked up was that?

Your phone pinged, signaling a text. You lift the screen to your line of vision, seeing a name that was suddenly unfamiliar to you, with a text that said, ‘Headed to the restaurant now. Can’t wait to see you.’

You face falters at the promise. You sighed and leaned against your car’s headrest and closed your eyes.

What was he trying to pull back there? Making you yearn with all that talk about risking it all just to get a chance with you again. Who talks like that in real life?

Two knocks to your driver-side window startle you back into reality. You glanced over and see his cat-like features peeking through the glass.

You roll your window down and try to sound as casual as possible. “Hey! What’s up?”

He smiles shyly. “I…walked around the parking lot out back then down the block, hoping to still catch you.”

“Oh?” Your voice goes up slightly. “Haven’t had enough of me yet?” You tease him.

He chuckled at your cheekiness. “Yeah,” he sighed heavily, “I... didn’t like how we left things back there. You just ran off.”

You were incredulous. “Really? I thought we were good. I didn’t see anything wrong about the whole exchange. I said goodbye–”

“Yeah, exactly that,” he cuts you off. “You said ‘goodbye’.”

You chuckle awkwardly, confused by his remark. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say when you leave?”

“I know that but…I didn’t want you to leave.”

Your stomach does somersaults. You close your eyes for a second to internally smack yourself in an effort to keep it together. “Uhm…I…I don’t…I d–” You stutter.

“I didn’t want you leave.” He repeats firmly. “I can’t let you walk away from me again.”

“Y-Yoongi–”

“I fucked up. I should have gone after you that day.”

You feel your nose start to sting so you swallow thickly and grip your steering wheel tightly. Yes, you wished that he had called you or stopped you from leaving. But after enough time had past, you just thought that whatever he believed then was stronger than how he felt for you. Thinking about it more, you didn’t reach out to call him either to talk things through. At the end of the day, you just thought that it wasn’t meant to be.

“We weren’t good for each other then.”

“Because it wasn’t the right time for us then. We both had shit to work though–I know I did. And I realized that I’d rather do this with you than anybody else.”

You inhale sharply, trying to choke back the tears while hanging onto your last shred of self-preservation. “You hurt me,” you barely whisper.

At this point, he crouches by the driver-side door. “I know. And I’m truly sorry for what I did. I can’t change my actions or my words from that day and that’s something that I’ll never live down. But I promise to make it up to you this time…if you’ll let me.”

You rubbed your eyes in annoyance. You were incredibly frustrated with him and frustrated at the thought that was another man who was excitedly awaiting your arrival at a restaurant a few miles away. You even jokingly imposed a stupid 5-date rule before sleeping with him, but he respected your decision and you liked that about him.

Tonight was the fifth date. The night he was expected to seal the deal with you–and yet, here you were with your ex, seemingly at a stand-off.

You look straight into his eyes. “I don’t think it’s fair that you would back me into a corner like this. That’s just not–”

“I’m…I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to lose my chance again. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that if the opportunity presented itself, I would take it. And tonight…I…I just didn’t expect tonight to happen. And I know that you have plans but…I just knew that if I let this moment pass again, then I’m no better for it.”

You pursed your lips, unsure of what to say to him even though a thousand thoughts were running through your head.

“What do you want me to do? What are you asking from me?” It was all you could manage to cobble up. You were a mixture of confusion and irritation. You just wanted him to be straight with you.

“I want another chance. I want to give us another shot because…I still love you.”

At that point, his admission pushes your tears off the brim.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t mean to make you sad. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I’ve been miserable without you.”

You waited so long to hear him say those words. For a while, you agonized at the thought, wondering if he actually ever loved you. If you were even someone worth choosing.

“Why tell me now after all this time has passed?”

“I couldn’t love you as the old me then. The old me who let you down and made half-ass promises. I had to get myself together.”

“Oh, so now you’re ready?” You ask sarcastically, swiping at your cheeks.

He stares at you earnestly. “Yes,” he says firmly. “It took me some time to realize that I was being stubborn. I thought that I didn’t need to change anything because I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. And it took me that whole time to really get what you were trying to say to me….what you asked me to do for you.”

You let out a chuckle. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about that, too and realized that I was being unreasonable back then.”

“Maybe. But…the more I thought about it, I realized that you were asking me for assurance and I refused give it to you…when I really should have.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have questioned the way you ran your business,” you demurred. “I crossed a line—“

“But that wasn’t it, though,” He insists. “In reality, there was no other logical reason as to why I kept a longstanding contract with Jiwon. I was trying to torture myself because I believed that I could totally look past that history and keep it strictly professional.”

Years ago, you would have pointed and laughed at him, and done a victory lap on your vindication.

“I was completely delusional back then and I needed time to figure the rest of my shit out.”

“And have you?” You ask him.

“Yeah, I have…and I found out that I still very much have trouble letting go of the past,” he concluded wryly.

You both chuckle at his honesty. Minutes ago, you had your hand on the ignition, ready to leave him…again. 

“Yoongi…”

“I know, I know…I have the worst timing,” he says ironically.

It was the understatement of the century. When you walked out of your door earlier tonight, you had no idea that you’d run into Yoongi, much less receive a proposition from him.

You couldn’t argue against the fact that he hurt you badly last time. You wanted him to go after you when you walked out on him…But just the same, you had to work through your own issues, too. The time apart was necessary to do some growing.

Truth be told, you were perfectly fine at the start of the evening. You were having fun, taking trips down memory lane.

But there was always something about him. Something that no amount of time or distance would fully make you understand the hold that he had on you.

You had moved on from past lovers without incident. But you fell for Yoongi so deeply in the shortest amount of time. When it all ended, you wondered every now and then, whether the untapped potential of your relationship was what made that ache linger…or perhaps it was just him.

The tension is broken when your phone rings again. You glance at the screen and it was what-his-face’s name flashing.

You look up at Yoongi, whose face falters slightly but he relaxed his shoulders and stood up from his crouched position. He still bends down a little, leaning on the window frame.

“I know you have somewhere to be so…I guess I’ll just leave it at that. You can call me…or whatever. I just didn’t want to let this moment pass without getting that off my chest.”

You sighed heavily at the option he’s left you with. You glance at the missed call notification that flashed on your screen.

“Please get home safely, okay?” He taps his palm on the roof of your car softly and with a soft nod, he begins to walk back to the venue.

You were torn–torn by the sound of the unheard message alert that sat in your voice mailbox and Yoongi’s fading footfalls.

But deep down, you already knew what you wanted. Your mind and heart had already decided for you the second that you saw him from across the room this evening.

Now, all you had to do was propel your body to physically execute that decision.

You swipe at your phone screen to make the notification disappear then push your car door open.

“Yoongi, wait!”#

◤Part 1 | Main Fic Masterlist

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[sachirobabe]

Annoying | S. Rinatrou x F!reader

Warnings: pregnancy, cursing, mentions of sexual activities, Rin being horny, small make out⚠️

An: repost from my wattpad

Female reader.

Wc: 1,645

"Rintarou." You call your husbands name.

"Yes, dear." He responds almost immediately.

"If you sarcastically say 'yes dear' one more time, so help me god, you're sleeping on the couch." You threaten and sigh.

You hear his footsteps enter the kitchen, a sly smile on his face, one that knows what he's already done to annoy you.

"Please tell me why there's an empty carton in the fridge." You take out the evidence to show him.

"Wasn't me, honey." That same stupid smile is still etched on his face, he knows it too, it drives you mad.

"Rintarou, I won't tell you again to throw away the things you finish! I'm not your mom, I won't clean up after you all day. I- Rin, are you even listening?!" You notice him eyeing you up and down, licking his lips.

He repeats exactly what you told him just mere seconds ago.

"Hearing is not the same as listening." You rub your temple, the other hand shot down to caress your swollen belly, there's only a few months left before you due date and you husband was becoming more annoying by the second.

"I promise to clean up after myself, okay grumpy?" He attempts to bring you closer to him by grabbing your arm gently.

"No, Rin. You're pissing me off. You're not funny." You snatch your arm back and cross it above your belly.

"That's not what you said when we were dating, yeah?" His cheeks hurt from smiling so much these last few minutes.

"I was just trying to make you feel manly, asshole." You rolled your eyes, your appetite to eat whatever it was is gone since your lovely husband finished it all.

"Hey, you mad at me, pretty? I'm sorry, I'll throw my things away when I'm finished okay?" He moves in front of you, finding it easy because you're starting to wobble when you walk and he thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever.

"I was really looking forward to eating my cereal." Your eyes tear up, "You are annoying me." You sniffle and he brings you into his chest, caressing your head, swaying the two of you back and forth.

"I'm sorry, would it make you feel better if I told you the cereal wasn't even that good?" He bats his eyelashes.

"Fuck you, Rin." You say and break from his hug.

"I'm kidding, babe! I'll go to the store right now." He follows after you. "I didn't mean to make you cry." You enter the bedroom, sitting on your side, pouting.

"Well you did." You wipe your eyes. "You know I'm more sensitive now."

"I know, I just love your reactions, sweetheart. They're adorable." He pinches your cheek, in attempt to make you feel better. "Come 'ere." He opens his arms to you, you let your head rest on his shoulder and his hand immediately flies to your stomach. "Would you like to come to the store with me?"

You hesitate for a moment before answering, "Fine." You're still pouting, he leans over and kisses your lips multiple times, showing how sorry he is.

"Go get dressed, pretty, 'm waitin' on 'ya." He gives you one last final kiss, this one lingered for a moment.

"Okay." You smile happily and practically skip to your closet. You stand there for a few, not sure on what to wear. "Rin, can you come here for a sec?" You call out.

He shuffles inside the closet, raising his eyebrows as if asking, 'what?'.

"Should I wear this?" You motion to your chosen outfit. "Or is it too cold? Maybe I should-"

"It doesn't matter if I'm going to be taking it off anyways." He shrugs, giving you a smirk.

"Rin- I," You pause, remembering he just wants a reaction from you. "You're not even getting laid tonight, I can tell you that." You rolled your eyes.

"Oh?" He questions, eyeing you seductively, "We'll see about that, won't we? Don't forget about last night, hun." He winks and walks out.

"Damn you, Rin." You mutter, opting to wear a flow skirt and a shirt that showed off just enough cleavage to torture him. "'M ready." You walk out, just as you wanted his eyebrows raised, he lets out a whistle.

"All this for me?" He stands to most likely ogle you closer.

"No. Let's go I'm starting to get hungry." You grab your purse and he quickly followed you out the door.

He calls your name and when you turn to face him, he cups your cheeks and gives you a sloppy kiss. "You look beautiful, babe." He eyes your cleavage.

"Rin, quit being horny." You smack his arm, he watches your boobs jiggle from the action. "Rin!" You attempt to turn his face away from you.

"What?" He whined. "How dare you leave the house looking so hot, and you won't even let me touch." He begins to reverse the car.

"Serves you right for making me cry." You huff. He groans and lets his large hand find it's place on your thigh. Surprisingly he didn't try anything to annoy you, letting you rest your eyes momentarily before he stopped the car once he parked.

"We're here, honey." He lightly taps you awake, he can be so sweet sometimes. "How was your nap, honeybuns." He pinches your cheek. Other times he can be so annoying.

"Rin." You groan. "Lets hurry it up." You say and he quickly goes to your side of the door, helping you down from his car.

"Anything for you." He kisses your forehead and leads you inside, grabbing the cart and happily pushing it so you could focus on what was really needed.

You both strolled around, adding things to the cart that was needed for your pantry. Rintarou eased up on his teasing once you got inside, he'd been abnormally quiet, not that you were exactly complaining, it was just a little odd.

"Do you think this is it?" You stop after grabbing some bread and tossing it into the cart. "I don't think we need anything else."

"Hmm I think we're done here." He yawns. "I'm taking a nap when we get home." He says as the two of you stand in line.

He's hunched over the cart, "Does your back hurt? Is the old age getting to you, Rinnie?" You comb through his hair.

He clicks his tongue, "We're the same age, babe."

"Yeah, but my strong husband plays volleyball almost every day. Does he need a massage?" You flutter your eyes at him, making him bite the inside of his cheek to withhold a smile.

"Matter of fact, I do need one." He guides you by your hips to move behind the cart, giving your ass a small squeeze, "Let me do the work, you sit there and look pretty, yeah?" He pecks your forehead.

"Technically I'm standing, but thanks Rin!" You smile at him, making him shake his head while chuckling. As much as he loved to bother you, he'd never let you lift a finger, especially groceries.

He always says he can make it in one trip, but you banned the idea after he dropped one of the bags and broke the pickle jar. You cried for over an hour because you were really craving them.

You smile at the memory as he loaded up the trunk, you sat in the passenger seat humming the current song playing on the radio.

"It's fucking hot out." He settles into his seat, cranking up the ac.

"You're wearing a black shirt too." You note.

He hums and brings you closer to him to steal a few pecks. If it were up to him you'd be making out in the parking lot, but a car honked at him to get out of his spot because he was taking so long.

"Rin." You say trying to break away from him. "People are waiting."

"Let them wait, I'm trying to make up for the whole cereal incident." He bites your bottom lip and finally released you. "I like that flavor of lipgloss, by the way." He winks at you while he backs out.

"You're so annoying, Rin." You smile and look off to the side, he still never failed to give you butterflies. He kisses your hand that was intertwined with his.

"Time to make one trip, babe!" He quickly got out of the car so he wouldn't hear your protests. You roll your eyes and slowly get out.

"The last time you did that it did not end well." You warn.

"It'll work this time. Promise." He yells. "Open the door for me, please."

You grabbed his keys from his pocket and waddled over to the front door, when you turn back you see he's already halfway to you. His arms flexing deliciously underneath the warm sun.

A small sweat was breaking out on his forehead, he was so handsome.

"Ya gonna keep looking at me like that, doll?" He sets the groceries down as you shut the door.

"Hm, yeah." You shamelessly ogle him. "You're so handsome, Rin." You play with his hair and give a small tug, immediately his lips are on yours, he wastes no time in shoving his tongue into your mouth. You push him back a little dazed from how passionate he was. "'M hungry." You give him one last peck and leave him standing.

"You drive me crazy." He chuckles. "You still owe me that massage, I won't let you forget it." He follows you into the kitchen, watching as you make your cereal that you've been craving.

"Oh I won't." You wink at him, leaving him flustered in the kitchen.

*Do not steal or plagiarize

#fluff #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #writing #haikyuu x self insert #haikyuu suna #suna rintaro x reader #suna x y/n #suna x reader #suna rintarou #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou x you #inarizaki #hq hcs #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq suna #suna rintarou x pregnant reader #rintarou suna x reader #suna x you #haikyuu!! x reader

[silvergeek]

I had no idea that Tolkien fans were so nasty and racist.

Any time I try to look up any information about Rings of Power, comment sections are overwhelmed by racist freaks. I swear to fucking god, these people don't have anything worse going on in their lives other than a film studio hiring a Puerto Rican to portray an elf or a black English woman to play a dwarf. (Even Isildur is too ethnic for some of these fans. Like jfc, so sorry he's not a WASP.)

What blows my mind is the sheer number of complaints, just about each one of them starting with, "I'm not racist but..." and ending with this rant insisting that Tolkien wanted all of his fictional little magic characters to be white. (Ok. Fair enough. He probably DID envision them all as white. He's a dead guy who was born in the fucking 1800's.)

Lol. "I'm not racist but I can't stop obsessing over the hobbits' skin color!" Jesus christ.

1. I'm currently re-reading the Silmarillion and nowhere does it explicitly state that everyone must be Caucasian.

2. There are numerous citations about some people actually having darker skin (e.g. harfoots).

3. The people who are screaming, "But this is OUR contemporary European mythology! Stop shoehorning black people into it!" Newsflash: there are black Europeans, assholes. Born and raised in your fucking countries. They know no other culture aside from --whichever country they gotta put up with your shit in. (Yes, my grammar sucks. Fuck off.) Why the hell do you act like these people do not exist?

I can't say the USA is any better with these attitudes, but I thank the fucking stars for having visibly outspoken, politically active African American women to keep our bullshit in line.

Imagine being a woman or a POC (or both) and anytime you apply for a job, audition for a role, or enter into any sort of competition and actually win based on your talents/skills, just around the corner there's a legion of assholes screaming that you were only picked because of tokenism. Imagine going through life being told over and over that your effort means nothing and that anytime you succeed at any given thing, you're just being pandered to. And imagine that the people saying this shit to you are pretending to be on YOUR side. And imagine, just for a moment, that these same people happily watch white guy after white guy walk into success and never ever question if whether or not their white guy peers are playing favorites -- because surely those people are impartial in all of their decision making. (Did they pick a white guy? It's an impartial choice! Did they pick a black lady? WOKE BULLSHIT PANDERING::blood erupts from esophagus::)

Imagine all of that, then go take a nice big shit in your garage.

Also, this uruk hai is totally gonna eat this little boy. Off topic, really. The pic is just there to get your attention.

Between the nasty backlash of Sandman and Rings of Power, complete with death threats and everything, I have to say this takes me back to the uprising of Gamergate.

They performed all of these same hate rituals, but aimed squarely at women in gaming. Zoey Quinn caught the brunt of it -- people even figured out her father's home phone number and made threatening calls to him.

I remember Anita Sarkeesian would have to cancel expos due to bomb threats.

These are typically the actions of some subhuman demographic, mostly male, aged 20's to 50's, typically white (not always) and either straight or profoundly closeted. Politically... they tend to think of themselves as freedom lovers, but at the root of their ideologies, you'll find stagnant traditionalism dancing in rhythm with contemporary neo-conservatism. Freedom for them, not for anyone else.

These are the people who don't want women to design video games, they don't want black/hispanic/Indian folks in their TV shows except as forgettable side characters, and they don't want the gays. Never ever with the gays. (And anything beyond "gay" doesn't exist in their minds. It's made up.)

I remember all this back in 2014. They review bombed games, in fact. They were a bunch of keyboard warriors for the most part. They eventually lost, because now we have a more diverse gaming industry. Most of them can only find their male gaze fixations with the big-tittied anime girls in obscure JRPG's pumped out by Japan, China, and Korea -- at best.

They're just scum. They really are. And they hate change. And they're cowards.

#rings of power #lord of the rings #lotr fandom #lotr #rop #the hobbit #neil gaiman sandman #sandman #neil gaiman #black feminism #african american #feminism #feminist #blm blacklivesmatter #hispanic #india #bipoc #women #video games #gamergate #gaming

[miryum]

HII!! I have a question! <33 Do you think you could make a Johnny x Reader where him and the reader go on like a carnival date and they have a whole night of activities planned (like winning each other prizes, eating together at the confession stands and going on the Ferris wheel, etc) but after they’re done they go to the lot to stargaze and he confesses to them!! TYSM LOVELY

I changed it just a bit cause I say the perfect opportunity and just had to go for it! Sorry if it's not what you asked for, but I can always rewrite it!

"Oh my god, they have balloon darts!" You squealed, grabbing Johnny's arm and pulling him along. Johnny laughed at your antics. It was a summer night in Tulsa and you and Johnny had decided to take full advantage of the carnival that had come to town.

You pulled out some coins you had saved for this occasion and smacked them on the table. The booth worker took them and handed you three darts.

"What do you want?" You asked, acknowledging the stuffed animals hanging around you.

"Aren't I supposed to win things for you?" Johnny asked.

You shook your head. "Not today. What do you want?"

"Uh... that panda." The boy pointed to a large stuffed blue or pink panda.

You nodded and threw the three darts consecutively. Each hit their mark. Johnny stared wide-eyed at you. You shrugged and mumbled, "I have a lot of free time on my hands. And remember how Steve got that dartboard?"

Johnny hummed in agreement, happily talking the panda from the booth attendant. "Well, now you at least have to let me buy you popcorn."

"Deal."

You and Johnny eventually ended up on the ferris wheel, pointing out places in town that you recognised. "There's the DX!" You said.

"And that's the lot, right?" Johnny pointed.

"We should go there after we're done," You suggested. Johnny agreed, smiling broadly at you.

The ride suddenly stopped when you two were towards the top and you took this time to show Johnny constellations. If you weren't looking towards the sky, you would've noticed Johnny not staring at the stars, but staring at you. "Shooting star! Make a wish!" You cried. You closed your eyes in concentration before opening them to meet Johnny's.

"What'd you wish for?" He asked.

"I can't tell you, otherwise it won't come true."

"I'll tell you what I wished for," Johnny suggested. You nodded, prompting him to continue. "Courage," he said simply.

You frowned. "But you have plenty of courage. You're one of the bravest guys I know."

"Not enough to tell you how I feel," Johnny's voice suddenly got lower and he looked out into the darkness, avoiding your gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Maybe this is the worst time to tell you. We're stuck two hundred feet in the air and you can't run away if you want to."

"Why would I ever run away from you?" You asked.

"'Cause you would be disgusted by the thought of me liking you," he mumbled, clutching his panda closer.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. "Really?"

Johnny gave you a small shrug, accompanied by a nod. "Why do you think I invited only you to the fair when everyone else also wanted to go?"

"Why would I be disgusted if the guy I have a crush on liked me back?"

Johnny turned to look at you. "Are you being serious right now? 'Cause if you're not, that's a really sick joke, Y/n."

You smiled lightly, silently cursing whoever made him self-conscious. "Do you wanna go to the drive-in with me?"

"I would love to." Johnny's smile seemed brighter than the carnival lights.

#johnny cade x reader #johnny x reader #johnny cade imagine #johnny cade oneshot #the outsiders #the outsiders oneshot #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders 1983 #ferris wheel #love confessions #carnival

[where-dreamers-go]

"Emotions And Realizations" Dick Grayson x Reader

(A/N: Part Four in the soulmate au series with 1960s Robin/Dick Grayson.

Last time we saw a secret spread through the city, trust broken, and soulmates having milkshakes. But wait. The most frustrating and exciting is yet to come!

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Reader has social anxiety? Use of (mx) and (Y/N). Dick Grayson is the sweetest person. Reader’s guardian is a doorknob/something else.

Word Count: 10,031 words)

<- previous

~~~

A quiet Sunday morning in Gotham City and all appeared to be normal. Weekend activities went as planned. The weather was beautiful. Birds chirped happily.

This stinks. You thought with a low huff.

In the study, the open history book on the desk hardly had your attention. A scratch piece of paper had more ink marks than your list of assignment answers.

An ‘attitude’? Are they serious? I’ve barely said anything to them since Monday. I’ve been neutral. Civil.

As of returning home on Saturday from the Wayne Manor, you were officially grounded.

You were in trouble. For what? What wrong had you done?

According to your guardian, you were in trouble for the next week. Reasonings being: of how you acted on Monday, your attitude for the past week, for not letting them know ahead of time you were going to see Dick Grayson, and missing a lunch they had planned with a friend on Saturday.

They didn’t exactly tell me about the lunch yesterday. Oh, but they’re disappointed. ‘You embarrassed me’. Sorry. Didn’t meant to. I’m not perfect.

You leaned back in the chair, glad you were alone in the room. Comfortable clothes gave you emotional support.

And then the whole: ‘Your punishment will be longer if you don’t do well on those quizzes coming up.’ Really? As if I don’t do my best every day? School isn’t easy. How much more well-behaved do I have to be? I don’t talk and it’s good, but if I don’t talk it’s bad?

Tapping the chair, you did your best to get out the energy fueled by frustration. Quietly. Always quietly.

No phone, you thought over the restrictions, and no desserts!

Four months ago it would had been a punishment in your favor. But, as of late, you had your soulmate physically in your life. Plus no desserts was unusual punishment.

You couldn’t even call to let Dick know. You were afraid to ask.

And Saturday had been so wonderful.

Attempting to return to the textbook failed. Again.

They’re just upset I wasn’t at the lunch. I’m not going to be home every second or available whenever. I don’t overhear every phone call they have. I’m bound to forget at least one thing.

Being grounded days after ‘offenses’ seemed to be reaching for more reasons to justify it all.

I’m not the one who broke a promise — spreading a secret that wasn’t theirs! People kept questioning me and—

Frustrations were high. Tension rekindling at home.

Knuckles popped and shoulders squared.

You huffed again.

Did you ever forgive your guardian for pushing you towards the Penguin or telling your secret? No. Definitely no in the near future either.

You figured the pushing towards a criminal was just really bad judgement. What else could it be?

The breaking a promise was something you would not forget and you’d be careful what you shared in the future with them.

To think, in contrast, you were becoming more comfortable sharing thoughts with Dick. He was a fantastic listener. A gosh darn good conversationalist too.

We don’t even have to talk. You thought and rolled the pen around with your fingers. Your thoughts going back to Saturday. He was so tired. If we were anywhere else, would he put his head down?

Exhaling, soon your shoulders relaxed. Thoughts of you soulmate playing in your mind.

Music played throughout the room. Just enough to keep the study from being so empty of sound.

Your textbook remained on the desk forgotten. It would have its time. Whenever you decided upon it.

Keeping your attention elsewhere was much more satisfying. Right where you wanted it.

In turn, the desk chair had been moved to the front of the loveseat where Dick was laying down.

“Tired?” You asked and brushed back a stray lock of hair from his forehead.

“No.”

“No?” You rested your forearms on your thighs as you leaned forward.

Dick cracked a smile.

“Then what are you doing here laying down? Testing the cushions?”

“I was waiting for you to finish with homework.”

“Well, I’m finished for now.”

“For now?” He questioned, tilting his head to see you better.

“Uh-huh.”

You watched on as Dick took ahold of your hands and brought them to his chest. Comfortable.

“You work too much.”

“So do you.” You poked his sweater-covered chest.

Bringing your hands up, he kissed your finger.

A familiar warmth flooded your chest.

You blinked and flexed your hands.

The textbook was still in front of you. Waiting. Your hands were no where near anyone else’s.

Okay, you thought. Aware of time spent being unproductive.

That word could ruin any mood.

Unproductive. You scoffed. I’m not a machine. If I want to think about my soulmate kissing— Wait…um.

His lips touched your fingertip. Softly and soon smiling.

Sitting there, you wondered and searched your mind to see if this was the first time you had thought of Dick in that way. Surely it wasn’t out of no where.

Did it matter if you didn’t know?

Thinking of playing with Dick’s hair and having soft domestic moments felt natural. As if that calmness could be a vacation of its own.

 Why wouldn’t you daydream of that? It was cute.

Imagining kicking the Penguin’s butt was one thing, but picturing a casual day was really nice. It could happen.

I mean…I never thought I’d be comfortable kissing someone’s cheek without being awkward. And he’s definitely okay with it. You smiled at the thought. Feeling his emotions is a bonus then.

You smiled down into your textbook.

The assignment still incomplete and waiting.

Hearing a voice muffled in another room, your hands tensed.

Your guardian was probably on the phone again.

Just finish here, you thought.

The lightness in your chest seemed to fold in on itself and dissolve. It made your stomach feel heavy.

Dick and I are friends. That’s better than anything I could ask for. We get to see each other and talk when we can. Kissing his cheek is…common in cultures and holding hands—that’s just what we do. We trust each other. You pressed your lips together and thought, we’re soulmates. And he’s literally Robin.

Slouching in the chair, you fought the urge to kick the desk.

“I really need to focus.” You muttered.

The assignment involved vocabulary from history.

Forcing yourself to sit upright, you looked at the text.

Huh. This would put even Dick to sleep, you mused. It’s just copying down the definition. It’s boring, but easy. If only the definitions weren’t so long.

Your hand took up the pen and jotted down the correct words. Such a mundane and mind numbing task with the copying.

Each word hardly left an echo in your mind. Sounds of the pen scrawling over paper only made you more aware of how quiet it was in the study. How alone you were when for once you did not want to be.

You desired good, genuine company. Even in the tiniest amount. Something positive to outweigh the rest.

You could almost hear Dick. His voice memorized and unforgettable in your mind.

Dick had a book in his hand as he sat comfortably on the loveseat.

“I think your favorite part is next,” he said with his nose buried in the book’s pages.

Muscles in your hand cramped, but your wrote on. Writing faster meant it would be finished before you declared it stupid and overly boring.

“I can read it to you, if you’d like?”

“You would do that?” You asked.

“Sure.”

Your hand stilled after you set down the pen. Aches slowly leaving your muscles.

Assignment complete.

You sat back and inhaled slowly.

Hopping onto the cushion beside Dick, you snuggled into his side.

“Holy racing car, you’re fast.”

“My hand hurts a little, but it’ll be fine.”

Expecting him to read out loud, you were surprised by Dick drawing an invisible smiley face on your forehead.

A cozy feeling blossomed in your chest.

“What was that for?” You questioned and wrapped your arms around his middle.

“To keep your frown away.”

“I think it worked,” you said with a smile.

Imagination could only get so far if it remained in your mind.

Beautiful words and fanciful thoughts could remain hidden with emotions if you wanted or you could put them to use. Learn from them.

A new project? Was it a good time to start one?

It wasn’t as if your guardian would know.

✧ ✧ ✧

Monday afternoon at the Wayne Manor was business as usual. Bruce Wayne read quietly as his youthful ward, Dick Grayson, completed homework.

Smiling to himself, Dick closed his textbook.

“All finished?” Bruce asked.

“Yup. The equations weren’t so tough today.” Dick gathered his belongings.

“That’s good to hear.”

Heading out of the room, Dick announced, “I’ll be right back.”

Taking the steps in quick succession, he cleared the stairs on his way to his bedroom.

I bet (Y/N) can finish homework faster, he thought. Maybe not as fast as them guessing books.

On Saturday, they all had done just that in the manor. Teaming up and guessing stories by describing characters made time fly by. Almost too quickly for Dick.

All the happiness of Saturday made Sunday feel off. Dick presumed it was from your absence. With only your emotions to accompany him, he still missed you. Perhaps more so if he couldn’t sense anything.

Yet there was not phone call that night to soothe him.

He lost track of time and he figured you were watching a movie. One you were eager to see. He didn’t want to bother or interrupt.

Dick only hoped that your many emotions were the results of watching the television and nothing more.

Wishing the best for you was what he’d always done. Even prior to meeting you.

Knowing you made him want to share the best with you.

Dick Grayson’s smile returned.

Yes, his schoolwork was put away, but that only freed up space in his mind to think of his soulmate.

He knew why.

Holding hands and drinking milkshakes answered questions he didn’t know he had.

Dick Grayson had a crush on his soulmate. He’d had a crush for a while.

Being together on Saturday only solidified his realization. Holding hands more consciously than reflexively. You were closer, more open with each other.

To contain that knowledge and excitement was near impossible.

Dick was on the verge of telling Bruce.

Why not? He was so happy. He couldn’t keep that to himself. He shouldn’t have to.

I wonder what Bruce will think. The youth thought as he exited his room. I forgot to tell him. Gosh. How busy can we get?

Descending the stairs took him seconds.

Getting Bruce Wayne’s attention took less.

“Hey, Bruce?” The ward called as he returned to the sitting room.

“Yes? What is it, Dick?”

“(Y/N) is really swell.”

Bruce smirked as if he knew what was on the young man’s mind.

“And their smile is the brightest I’ve ever seen.” He sat down on the nearest armchair. “If you could mashup beautiful and handsome in one word—that’d be a word I’d use for them.”

“Both words can be used in exchange for the other depending on context.”

“Gosh, Bruce, I didn’t think of that, but…there should be another word that multiplies the meaning.”

“And why is that?”

“Because saying they’re good-looking after saying how intelligent they are doesn’t sound right..” Dick rested his chin on his hand. “I mean—they are lovely too.”

��Yes. You said as much yesterday and after they left on Saturday.” He smirked again.

“Oh.” His hands folded in his lap. “I guess, I did.”

“It’s alright, Dick.” Bruce reassured him. “It makes me wonder if I’m the only person you should be telling this to.”

His eyes widened. It hadn’t occurred to Dick to consider telling you how wonderful of a person you were. Well, in the right situation anyway. That was only half of it.

He’d never complimented you at that level in full.

“I don’t think I’m ready to tell (Y/N) how I feel—I know that sounds ridiculous. We sense each other’s emotions, for crying out loud!” He sighed, “The problem is: I don’t know where I’d start. They’re practically my best friend.”

“That’s not the worst problem to have.”

“I know. Having a soulmate is the complete opposite of a problem.”

Bruce smiled and stated, “You two get along very well.”

“And (Y/N) knows more about me than other students at school.” Dick chuckled to himself and added, “At the student council meeting today, I imagined what it’d be like with (Y/N) there. They’d have great ideas. I could take a good guess what their responses would have been too.”

Not many people had mentioned the word ‘soulmates’ at school, but Dick knew they would if you were there with him. He was confident he could handle it.

But what about you?

How would you feel about it?

How would you react to Dick’s developing emotions?

“Is it too soon to tell them? I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.”

“There is no set time frame,” said Bruce. “Your concern for them shows how much you care for their well-being. Keep that in mind as you move forward.”

“That’s just it,” Dick sighed. “I don’t know when, but I’d love to now.”

“Don’t stress too much on the subject, old chum. Trust in the connection you two have and let the rest come naturally.”

Sitting up straight, Dick said, “Gosh, you’re right, Bruce. I’m worrying about something that hasn’t happened. It’s silly.”

“But you care.”

Dick nodded.

Of course Dick Grayson cared about his soulmate. He cared deeply.

If he felt a fluctuation of negative emotions from you, he wanted to know the cause. To be there with you would surely allow him to offer help or support.

Glancing up at the time, he figured you were definitely working on something. Not that the time was his main clue, however your undulating feeling of frustration. Either way, he could only suppose.

Would it be alright to call now? Dick wondered as he yearned to hear from you. It’s not late. Heck, it’s early!

He wrung his hands together.

“May I use the phone?” Dick asked, arms posed and ready to move.

“You may.”

Dick didn’t need to be told twice.

Leaning over to the side table, he picked up the phone and dialed your number.

I should ask what they watched last night.

The phone rang on the other end.

Or if anything interesting happened in class. Or if that spider came back. It had a name—

“Hello?” Your guardian’s voice sounded.

“Hello. It’s Dick Grayson. Is—?”

“Hello! How are you?” They interrupted with enthusiasm.

“I’m well. Thank you. How—?”

“I haven’t heard from you in so long. You must all be so busy in that manor. I can only imagine how many charities are planned. My friend and I — we met in college — we’ve been trying to talk their sister into hosting an event later in the summer. I’d love it sooner, but those things take forever to plan. Don’t they?”

“I believe so.”

Dick sat down and wondered how he became reeled into the conversation.

“I feel as if it’s been too long since I’ve been to a dinner party. The one my neighbor held was more of a night out. We weren’t at her place long. They have a fabulous music room. Even a harp.” They sighed longingly. “I always wanted a music room, but we have the study instead. At this rate it’ll turn into a library.”

“(Y/N) loves to read,” Dick piped up, “and they love music.”

“Very true.” Their tone was flat, but attentive.

He took his chance, “Is (Y/N) there? May I speak to them?”

“They’re here.”

He smiled.

“But they can not use the phone—.”

“What? Why? Are they all right?” Dick gripped the phone tightly.

“Their phone privileges are suspended and they can not go out until their punishment is over.” They stated calmly; adding nothing further.

It was too calm for Dick’s liking.

“Alright, I understand.” He swallowed down his rising emotions. “Can you let them know I called, please?”

“Sure. Don’t be a stranger.”

Dick could picture their smile with their chirper voice. It irritated him as he hung up the phone.

“What is it, Dick?” Bruce asked, giving his ward his full attention.

“(Y/N) isn’t allowed to use the phone because they’re in trouble,” Dick wiped his palms on his trousers, “but I don’t know what they did.” Confusion and shock lingered in his voice.

“Oh.” He said softly. “You spoke with their guardian.”

“They didn’t even sound angry or…concerned. They were too busy talking about planning a party.”

“This is unexpected news.”

“You’re telling me.” He sat back with a huff.

“Dick, this maybe a good time to practice patience. Their punishment will not last forever.”

“But they’re innocent.” He leaned forward, fist hitting the chair. “I can’t—I won’t believe they did anything wrong.”

Bruce only nodded. There was not much else to say if they weren’t given even half a story for explanation.

It was out of their hands.

Dick didn’t know when he’d hear from you or see you next. He could only feel your emotions. He couldn’t do anything else. Again, he was powerless. Back to the beginning.

But they’re innocent. What could they have possibly done? Dick thought woefully. Now Aunt Harriet will have something else against their guardian. Not just spreading our secret. … How long do punishments last?

✧ ✧ ✧

Gotham City, peaceful and busy as usual. The end of the work week was approaching and most were thrilled for the upcoming weekend.

For you, the week was going by slowly at school and quick at home. A real drag, really. Not much in your favor. It was only Thursday and your to-do list grew.

I’m going to need to rewrite the to-do list, you thought, already picturing the side notes and scratch marks on the paper. Nearing the end of the semester and it’s a mess. Kind of like this week.

Stepping lively, you were well on your way to the Gotham City Library. The second stop on your search for a book. Your friend Lucy had recommended it the day before.

The end of year essay wasn’t going to write itself and what you needed wasn’t even in your school’s shelves. Even the book store near home was lacking, but you had checked first—just in case.

It was up to you to make it happen.

Too bad it had to include asking your guardian’s permission in the morning. In any other situation it would be fine, but there was the punishment clinging to your every move. Making you second guess yourself and your actions.

So you walked on. With the huge library in sight, you grew impatient, wanting the week to be over. Again.

How ridiculously repetitive.

At least the topic of your paper would ease away from that. It would give you something interesting to focus on.

For once, you just really needed to be anywhere but at home. A breather. Time to decompress and just be.

The trip to the library was a small piece of that. A library had much to offer to citizens after all.

✧ ✧ ✧

Just outside of Gotham City, inside the Wayne Manor, young Dick Grayson worked diligently on his school essay. Ever the prudent student.

Not many things could distract him from a goal. He was well versed in work ethic.

Yet there was for certain one thing that could make Dick rush out of a room.

“Excuse me, Master Dick.”

The youth peered up from his papers.

“A phone call from a certain soulmate.” Alfred smiled.

He leapt to his feet, shouting, “Holy rule breaking!”

“So it seems.”

“Thank you, Alfred,” Dick said before tearing through the house to reach the phone. One of them at least.

Bruce Wayne was already pointing in the right direction as Dick peeled around the corner.

“Thank you!” Dick called over his shoulder.

Coming to a halt by a small table, Dick brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello? (Y/N)?” He did his best not to shout in his excitement. Dick was ever so eager to hear from you.

“Dick, hey,” your voice greeted him warmly.

A smile spread across the youth’s face.

“How are you? Your guardian said you weren’t allowed to use the phone. Are you not in trouble any more?”

“I’m okay,” you answered. “I…uh, I’m at the Gotham City Library—the big one. And technically, I shouldn’t be calling you.”

“You’re still in trouble? Why?”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you. My guardian hadn’t told anyone on the phone, so I figured that included you.”

“They told you that I called?”

“Only that you called.” You clarified. “They’re upset I missed a lunch with them and a friend of theirs on Saturday, that I hadn’t talked to them that week, and other ridiculous stuff that they chose now to pin against me.” You huffed, irritated.

“That’s terrible. They’re the one who couldn’t keep a secret. For a day.”

“It’ll be fine. They’re just embarrassed, I guess, that they had to make an excuse why I wasn’t with them for lunch. They’ll forget about it eventually or get over it.”

Dick held the phone closer.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine.” You said. “Just need to grab a book for the essay.”

Hmm. They don’t seem fine.

“What were you writing for your paper?” He asked, his mind coming up with a plan.

“Edgar Allan Poe writings.”

“Oh.”

“I’m hoping the book isn’t checked out here too.”

“Alright. You should go find it before someone else does.” He advised and checked the clock.

I’ve got time.

“True.”

It’s a huge library.

“Hopefully, we can talk again soon. I just wanted to call and not leave you with so any questions without answers.”

“Thanks.” Dick said. “I really appreciate it. I’ve been running in circles trying to figure out why you, of all people in the world, were in trouble.”

“Bad luck?”

“You don’t have bad luck.”

“Not with you.”

His shoulders relaxed and his smile softened.

“Anyway. I should go. I’ll miss you. Take care, okay?”

“I will. I hope you find everything.”

“Me too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Hanging up the phone, Dick Grayson felt no ill feelings for not saying how he’d miss you.

No, because Dick had decided on going to the same library.

“Hey, Bruce,” he said as he raced upstairs, “I have to go to the library.”

Practically flying through the manor, Dick retrieved his car keys, and headed back downstairs.

“Dick.”

The youth stopped in his tracks.

“We can not do anything about (Y/N)’s punishment because it is a personal household matter.”

“I know,” he replied despairingly. His whole body seemed to weigh down with the knowledge.

“Good and I trust you’ll help them the best of your ability without breaking the guidelines of their punishment.”

“I promise, Bruce,” he urged, “and I promise I’ll be back soon to work more on my paper.”

So Dick Grayson was on a solo mission. His goals were formed with good intentions.

Could he make it to the library in time to see you?

✧ ✧ ✧

Shelves of knowledge stood proud and ready for the minds of Gotham City. Its largest library had much to offer.

Peering around at the next aisle, you hoped you were in the correct section.

This makes my school’s library look like a forgotten storage room, you thought. At least it’s organized. No wonder Lucy told me I’d like it here. You snuck a peek at the spines of some books. And I also know why Lucy had to save Elliot—he’d get lost in a one-room apartment. You shook your head.

Your friends really were something else. Charming, full of personality, and very much a bunch of teenagers.

The same teenagers who thought you were pranking them when you mentioned your punishment. Too bad their laughter ended, you missed the sound. Yet their sudden change to rage may have added fuel to your inner rebellion. Perhaps a little.

In such a large library, you were definitely calmer than you would had been at home with your guardian.

Calm was soft within you, however there was a bubbling delight from Dick. Through your soulmate bond, it was feeling less muffled as it increased rapidly.

What is he doing? You wondered and read a few more spines of books, still searching. It might be on the other bookcase. This is still the beginning of the authors alphabetically.

You sighed.

Quietly, someone walked up beside you on your left.

“Jane Austen, huh?”

Your confusion hit you like a wall. You knew that voice.

Turning, you were instantly met with familiar bright blue eyes and a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Dick beamed. His excitement shining through.

“Are you crazy? I’m in trouble. If my guardian finds out you were here too, I’ll be worse off.”

“Are they here?” He glanced around rapidly.

“No.”

“They won’t find out.”

It scared you to think if otherwise they did.

Closing your eyes, you exhaled slowly.

Breathe. We’re fine. We’re okay.

“Are you upset I came?” He asked.

Your eyes snapped open and your shoulders dropped.

“No. Of course not.” You ducked your head. “I’m sorry. I’m just on edge because of everything at home and I’m tired. I don’t mean to push anything at you.”

Gently, Dick brought you into a hug. Keeping you close.

An almost reset to the scratchy emotions that plagued you happened. Setting you both back to calm. At ease in one another’s presence.

Pulling out of the hug, Dick suggested, “How about I help you find the right book?”

“That’d be great and much appreciated.”

The search was on.

It was the largest library in Gotham City. Where better to find the sources you needed?

“The Odyssey?” Dick read aloud.

“Not quite.” You smiled and continued searching the shelf below. “If we find any Shakespeare, we’ve gone too far. So no Othello either.”

“Hmph.”

“My friend Elliot was writing his essay about the creatures in The Odyssey, I think. Either that or the physics of the bow.” You shrugged. “Our teacher wouldn’t let Charlotte write about her treasure theories.”

“Treasure theories?”

“Hidden treasures, ancient texts, and stuff like that.”

“Cool.”

“I know. Too cool for the teacher, I guess.”

Both of you finished checking a whole bookcase before skipping over to the one further along the wall. Being thorough was an unspoken deal.

With Dick there, you could search twice as fast. Not that it was a race, however being as you both went left to right looking through two shelves—it mirrored a carnival game.

Your soulmate was solely focused on helping you find the right back. It was endearing.

Having gone through another week of unforeseen obstacles, you didn’t scold yourself from sneaking glances at him. You were curious of how he reacted to the world and its stories.

Dick Grayson was different than your other friends and those you spoke to at school. Super excitable and incredibly polite. He wasn’t one to gossip about other people to keep you in the know. There was a sincere gentleness instead of a bluntness with a hint of humor to soften the words.

Being around Dick, you were less inclined to feel out of place if you said something ‘weird’ or if you expressed how you had never done something. With him, you felt comfortable. As if the chance of looking or sounding odd was extremely low, so there was no need to second guess how you presented yourself.

Out of everyone in your life, your soulmate was the most unlikely person to ever make fun of you. No being the butt of a joke. No unnecessary comments because someone twisted your words. There was Dick’s unique personality and caring nature. And so much more.

I’m lucky we even met, you thought. He’s also The Boy Wonder in his spare time. Don’t know the odds of that.

Your fingers brushed passed the last book of that row.

“Still nothing. No Poe.”

“Ancient structures?” Dick read aloud before his gaze searched for you. There was a humorous lilt to his tone.

Shaking your head, you offered him a smile.

“What’s that doing here?”

He shrugged.

“Maybe next year I’ll write about those arches that stand against gravity with the power of math,” you mused and kneeled down to check more books.

“I don’t think that narrows it down. Which one?” He asked as he knelt down with you.

“The ones with all the same small rectangles except the top center piece. That one keeps it from moving or falling.”

“Oh. That would be much different than the one you’re writing now.”

“True, but my decision isn’t set in stone.”

Full grin appearing, Dick shook his head. It was hardly a disapproval.

“Did you set me up for that?” Inquired Dick.

“It was a last minute thought. If I preplanned it, you’d hopefully be laughing.”

“I would.”

“Alright.” You continued smiling. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Why’s he so smiley today? We’ve barely done anything.

Remaining in the fiction section, there was almost an endless amount of stories to dive into. Adventures, mysteries, romances, thrillers, and poetry.

Only one was on your list.

We already passed Austen and Homer. Come on. Where is it? You thought.

That was when you saw it: Edgar Allan Poe.

Ah ha!

Dick’s attention was on your before you made a move for the book. No doubt sensing your thrill of finally finding what you were after.

“I was beginning to get worried,” you muttered.

Grabbing the book from the shelf, you flipped through to the table of contents and stood up.

“Oh, good. It has all of his works. I mean, obviously.”

You offered Dick to flip through it.

“The Complete Tales And Poems of Edgar Allan Poe,” he read. “Aren’t some of these stories sad?” He stood beside you.

“In a way, but mostly a darker tone than reading a theatrical tragedy. It’s the mood.”

He turned a few pages.

“Poe did have a lot of….sad times in his life.”

Closing the book and handing it back to you, Dick asked, “Why did you choose his works?”

“How about I give you a copy of my paper when I’m finished and you can get a different view?”

His blue eyes seemed to sparkle with his eagerness.

“Gee, really? I’d love to read it.”

Dick’s eagerness felt as if it collided and twisted with your own. Merging into a warmth that had you both smiling.

“Alright, but I have to write it first.” You said and walked around the bookcase.

Movement across the room made you freeze.

Someone was stuffing an old bust statue into their jacket. Two others nearby had shifting gazes.

Someone was up to no good in the library!

A criminal?

Retreating, you grabbed Dick’s arm and pulled him back behind the bookcase with you. You put a finger to your lips before pointing.

Dick peered between the shelf. As his eyes widened, so did his mouth. The first word forming.

No.

Acting swiftly, you covered his mouth before he could exclaim. You gave him a warning look.

He nodded as you lowered your hand.

“We need to warn someone,” you whispered.

Again, he nodded. Blue eyes watching the people’s every move. Taking in details.

Grabbing his hand, you gave a tug.

Come on. You can play crime-fighting later.

Thankfully, Dick took the hint.

With hands held tightly together and quiet steps, you both snuck your way to another area of the library. Watching your back, you both made sure you weren’t caught.

Surely two teenagers holding hands couldn’t be an alarming sight to the criminal lookouts. Nothing to raise suspicion.

Your actions did, however, catch the attention of a librarian. Dick was quick to lead you to their desk.

“Can I help you?” The librarian asked. Their expression softening when they saw the book in your hand.

“Yes, please.” You placed the book on the surface. “May I check out this book, please? And…uh…”

The librarian leaned closer, waiting.

“We saw someone stash one of the statues in their jacket.” Dick proclaimed with urgency. “There were three of them.”

“Oh my—three of them?” The librarian inquired.

“No.” Both Dick and yourself urged, hands gripping the edge of the desk.

“People. Long jackets on.” You clarified.

“They were stealing.” Dick insisted.

Alarm lit in the adult’s eyes.

“Oh dear.” Fumbling and stamping, the librarian handed you back the book before picking up a telephone. Their eyes were trained somewhere behind you.

Before you could turn around, Dick had taken your hand and was leading you through another doorway. The two of you kept a hurried pace. Finished with business at the library, it was time to scurry away from any possible danger.

What are the odds? You wondered. Is it more from living in Gotham or him being Robin? Our timing? Day of the week?

Stepping out doors shook you from your thoughts with the afternoon light. Still hand in hand, you and Dick went down the library’s steps with practiced ease.

“Everything’s a surprise today, I guess.” You muttered.

“Hopefully that was all.” Said Dick as he lead you down the sidewalk at a slower pace. “I can drive you home.”

“What?” You looked to him baffled.

“If you want, I can dri—?”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“(Y/N),” Dick said gently and turned to you, “I want to make sure you get home safe. Driving you home isn’t a problem or a bother. It never will be.”

You knew that. For some reason your first response was never an answer.

The grip you had on his hand tightened.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m always glad to be with you.”

His words struck a cord in your chest. An area left alone to its own devices, quietly always wishing for something. Deep in that space in your heart, his words stretched and made themselves at home. Settling in warmly. Coating the area with something akin to recognition and affection.

What were you to do with that? No one had ever told you words so earnestly. None having to do with being in your company.

Always glad to be with me.

Finding your soulmate’s red car parked, he opened the passenger side door and let you sit before he made his way to the driver’s side.

He drove all the way here just to help me find this book. He got us away. He…he’s always there for me.

A burning threat of tears stung your eyes and you repressed them. You didn’t want to worry Dick.

Everything’s fine. You mentally told yourself while incoherent and fumbled feelings tried supplying unwanted thoughts into your head. It was not the right time to decipher those fully. Thoughts of how perhaps you weren’t doing enough.

Clicks of the seatbelts caught your attention enough to quiet subconscious worries.

Enjoy your time with him. Darn the punishment a little longer. You exhaled slowly.

“Are you alright?” Dick asked, worry lining his eyebrows. 

You peered over to him and decided to answer in full. “I’m better. Just…calming down.”

“You can listen to the radio if you’d like.” He turned the key in the ignition.

“Mmm. It’s been a few days.”

“Since what?”

“Since I’ve listened to the radio or a vinyl.” Seeing his confused gaze, you quickly added, “Because I feel like I shouldn’t because I’m grounded.”

Dick stared at you for a moment, car still parked. Not really speechless, no matter how silent he was then, but concerned. Blue eyes searching for an answer. No questions brought up.

Softly, you patted your thighs.

“Yup.” You muttered.

It’s just the radio. Should I just turn music on? You snuck a peek at the controls. Should I say something?

“Are you afraid you’ll be in more trouble or are you,” he swallowed and continued, “afraid something might happen at home?”

Heat filled your body uncomfortably. A fear you didn’t want to face head on.

“I’m just trying to make as little disturbance at home as possible. Blend in to the furniture, I guess.”

With a new frown, Dick sank further into his seat. “I’m sorry you have to do that. And I’m more sorry that I can’t do anything.” His voice dropped, “I wish I could.”

Your heart ached at his words.

How do I keep worrying him?

“You do more than enough. More than I could think of asking. I never know how to express how much that means to me.” You leaned closer, placing your hand on his arm. “But I’ll gladly think of a million ways on the ride home.”

A tiny smile curled his lips.

“I’ll be okay at home. I promise.”

Sighing with a short nod, Dick put the car in drive and safely pulled out onto the street.

A lift home from a caring soulmate. Gratitude passed around with smiles. The radio’s volume loud enough to combat the air rushing by.

How lucky could you two be?

About two blocks away from your destination, you felt your anxiety and worry growing.

“Dick.”

“(Y/N)?” He smiled. Mood lifted enough to not register yours as easily.

“Can you drop me off a block away? Please?”

Dark eyebrows shifting from surprise to concern, he asked, “A block? Why?”

“Because I don’t want to chance it. What if they’re home? What if a neighbor sees too and tells them?”

“Alright.”

There was no argument. No brushing off your list of concerns. It was refreshing and highly appreciated by yourself.

“Thank you.” You said as the car was stopped in a safe area.

I’m going to hug him like there’s no tomorrow.

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you reached across the center console as Dick did. A hug was shared tightly. Your chin on his shoulder as he did the same to you in return.

There was much joy radiated between, regardless of how bittersweet the situation. All accompanied by a hope that neither of you would be separated without communication for too long.

I feel bad that he’s the friend I want to see the most. But, you thought and slowly pulled away, he’s my soulmate.

You had missed him so much already with his genuine smiles and you were both a little too close to another criminal encounter. Being lucky and grateful, you thought of something. You could express a little more gratitude for him going into the city to help you. Something sweet. An action he would be okay with.

“Also.” You gently held his jawline between your hands. “If I may?”

His eyes widened, but he nodded. Keeping his arms on the center console.

“Thank you,” you kissed his right cheek, “and thank you.” You pressed a kiss to his other cheek.

Dick’s lips pulled into a wide smile.

Sparks and rolls of warm emotions informed you just how much your gesture affected him.

“You’re welcome.”

“Now get yourself home, okay?”

“I will.” He reached up and gave your hands a squeeze. “I’ll wait here until I see you’re going inside.”

“I’ll be quick.”

After eventually letting each other go, you gathered your belongings and stepped out of the car.

“Tell everyone I said ‘hi’, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

“See yah,” you waved.

“Hopefully soon.” Dick waved back, still smiling.

✧ ✧ ✧

A busy afternoon led the young ward to return to the stately Wayne Manor.

Much work was to be done. The essay!

Flutters and waves of conflicting emotion left Dick Grayson in an odd state of contentment. Between his soulmate’s punishment, spending time with you, the criminal in the library, and the two kisses he received — Dick was a little dizzy. Happily so given the latter.

“Dick,” Bruce set down a book, “are you all right? You look lost in thought.”

“I’m fine.” Dick did a quick check, looking for his aunt. Walking to stand close to Bruce, he informed him of what he witnessed at the library.

They were both hushed in their exchange.

Thankfully, the police could handle it. They were fully capable of handling the criminals.

The youth leaned on the furniture. A little forlorn that he wouldn’t be suiting up as Robin, however content to remain home. His thoughts were still on his soulmate after all.

Dick smiled to himself.

Images of you searching books, holding his hand, and being close all ran through his mind like a movie he wanted on repeat. He enjoyed every moment.

If only they weren’t in trouble with their guardian, Dick thought with a pout. It’s ridiculous. He crossed his arms.

Peering over at his ward, Bruce inquired, “Did you help (Y/N) find what they were looking for prior to…seeing the pieces of art?”

The mere sound of your name lit a happy hum in the youth’s mood.

Perhaps that was Bruce’s purpose for mentioning you. He did know his ward well enough.

“I did. They chose to write about Edgar Allan Poe’s writings for their paper.”

“Intriguing choice.”

“I know.” Dick chuckled and added, “They’re going to let me read it when they’re finished.”

“Then it looks like you’ll be adding an essay to your summer reading list.”

“Sure will.”

Dick was more curious to read your essay. To read your thoughts and see how your words flowed across a page.

What would he learn? How would he feel? Should he give you something in return?

“Before you an read (Y/N)’s essay, you better work on your own.” Bruce advised.

Blue eyes widened in realization.

“I almost forgot. Thanks, Bruce.” He said bashfully. “Oh! And (Y/N) says ‘hi’.”

The man smiled. “Hopefully we can all greet each other in person.”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking.” Dick exclaimed as he strode out of the room.

“Be patient, Dick.”

Patience. What’s patience going to do if their guardian decides to pick and choose when (Y/N) has been ‘bad’? What do they even tell (Y/N)? Are they mean or worse? Is it calm? And they were talking about parties instead of asking if I wanted to talk to (Y/N) or give me a chance to ask!

Trudging up the stairs didn’t last long as Dick made his way back to his room. A paper needed completing.

It was clear that Dick wasn’t happy with how your guardian had decided to handle things, but that was something he could not get involved in. No matter how desperately he wanted to. He wanted to ask why. He wanted to defend you. To find reason to it all. But he had to hold that in. If anything, it would add some fuel to any future punches as Robin. Relieve frustration.

Not the most healthy choice, but the thought might be present then. That and how you knew he was Robin. A completely different thought he was not ready to add to any time soon.

He’d save you from a day of stress and panic if he could. The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of it, again. That, he could control if it was only his words.

You two were separated and it felt different, tainted.

Dick just had to wait. Trusting you could take care of yourself. You had done so this long. The least he could do was be patient.

He saw on his bed with a soft sigh.

(Y/N) want to blend in to the furniture at home. What…what would (Y/N)’s guardian say if (Y/N) acted more…? He frowned. What have they told (Y/N) in the past?

The thoughts and images they produced made him feel uncomfortable. He was still unsure how to process your words from earlier. It only made him realize how little he knew of your home life.

But they promised they would be okay at home.

Sat with wondering thoughts, Dick Grayson knew he would pay even more attention to his soulmate’s guardian. Perhaps answers to his growing questions could be found without asking.

Who said he had to be dressed as Robin to find answers?

✧ ✧ ✧

Home. A place of rest, shelter, and essentials.

In Gotham City, a Friday evening could hold promises of fun and entertainment. The end of the work week.

Or the continuation of schoolwork for some.

Sitting on your bed beside your beloved Sir Hopps, you wrote something down onto the extra papers. Schoolwork off to the side. Writing your thoughts and more seemed to help. All of them kept in their own small keepsake box. Dated and filled with your inner most thoughts, feelings, and dreams. To get them out of yourself. All were addressed to your soulmate, however none were to leave the box. Not any time soon. You had wondered if you should stick them in a journal, easier to read through.

It helped when you only had your plush bunny to confide in. He was easier to talk to than most. Never told a secret in his blue fluffy life.

Sir Hopps and yourself were the only ones in the household who knew your trip to the library included more than finding a book.

Not that my guardian really cared. You thought. I don’t think they know who Poe is. Maybe I’m wrong. Who knows?

No more trouble befell you at home. No added punishment.

You were left to your own activities.

That was good news as much as having the outline for your essay almost finished. Marking down where the sources from the book were to be placed practically made it a guide—easier. Added that you wrote snippets around them.

Holed up in your bedroom made writing and taking breaks feel more natural. You didn’t have to physically pretend it was difficult or that your hand cramped to justify your actions. There was no one to judge with eyes or words.

Sir Hopps certainly wasn’t going to voice criticism.

You were certainly calm in your room. So much so that you could sense Dick’s contentment.

He could be doing anything right now. Well…not anything. Writing or reading maybe.

Placing another note into the keepsake box, you closed it and hid it underneath your bed.

“I can’t wait until summer,” you murmured to Sir Hopps.

I shouldn’t be grounded for too much longer. Another week maybe. I’m still doing well in school. I haven’t even looked at ingredients for cookies.

You flicked at a piece of paper.

Maybe it’s a good thing Dick doesn’t visit here. You thought bitterly. My guardian isn’t always as fun s they sound. And Dick is…fun. He’s a close friend, trustworthy, caring—so caring—and so many other things. My soulmate. A warmth tickled your chest at the word. You smiled. He’s brave too. Generous. Intelligent.

What fun you two could have if given the chance?

You returned to lounging on your bed.

Tired from a day of school and more, you groaned at the sound of the phone ringing in another room.

No. You dropped your head onto the mattress. Are they playing phone tag or something?

It only rang once more.

A relief to you as well as an itching suspicion.

Hopefully it’s nothing.

In a matter of minutes, there was a knock on your door before it opened. Your guardian stepped in.

Sitting up, your heart leaped, all your senses on alert.

“That was Lauren. She invited us to see a movie.”

Charlotte’s mom. She’d been talking about convincing her mom to go.

Your guardian looked at you expectantly.

“Anyone home?” They asked.

“I’m allowed to go?” You questioned hesitantly.

“Yes, why?”

“I am grounded.”

There was a pause in their movements. A crease between their brows.

Are they serious?

They shrugged and replied, “And now it’s done with.” Heading out of your room, they left the door wide open. “Get ready for the movie, if you’re going.”

“I’m going.” You responded and rushed to your closet.

A punishment over?

An outing with others to watch a movie?

A wonder how fast your night could change by one person’s decision.

. . .

Movie theater seating to a soiree. A group of friends sat waiting for the show to begin. It was debatable who talked more: the teenagers or the adults.

You sat between your friends. Your guardian, Charlotte’s mom, and Nathaniel were on your left. On your right sat Charlotte, Lucy, and Lucy’s younger brother Roger.

All of which chatted amongst themselves. Each keen in their own right about the weekend ahead.

I guess I can be excited too, you thought. I’m not in trouble any more. Officially. I can have dessert again, watch the television on Sunday night, maybe bake something, and I can call Dick. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled. Maybe more than me. Probably.

“You’re free now.” Charlotte rejoiced and squeezed your arm for a moment.

Reflectively, you stilled, however said, “Let’s not jinx it.”

“I won’t jinx anything.”

“Right. And who can’t write about their theories on hidden treasures?” Nathaniel leaned forward to question.

“Coincidence.”

“You shouldn’t have started writing it before it was approved,” you said. “But you could turn it into a book one day. Don’t waste it.”

“It would make a good story.” Lucy added.

“No. It was suppose to be my essay.” Charlotte whined and sat back in the seat.

“It’s okay.”

Charlotte sighed dramatically and turned to you.

You rose an eyebrow.

“How come you’re not writing yours about soulmates? I’m sure it would’ve been approved.”

“What? No.” Your quick response caught your friends’ attention.

“Why not? It could be a journey of how you and Grayson met and how your relationship blossomed. How the city found out. The drama. The secret dates—.”

“Dates? We’re not dating.”

“Really?”

“Well, do you consider doing homework and practicing different languages a date?” You laughed.

Beside you, Nathaniel chuckled.

“It would depend on what you’re whispering in the other languages.” Charlotte teased, snickering.

The others joined in. Perhaps not fully able to imagine you doing so.

“Hey, now.” You defended yourself. “It’s strictly what’s in the books…and Mister Wayne would know what we’re saying. But we’d probably say something silly.” A small laugh escaped you.

The thought of saying something in another language to Dick in the manor and it being purposely funny made you smile. But to say something flirtatious? What Charlotte was hinting at? That thought sent more uneasiness than butterflies in your stomach.

I couldn’t do that, you thought. That wouldn’t be right when Mister Wayne is usually right there. Or Mrs. Cooper! No, no, no. Absolutely not. Woo. And I’m pretty sure Dick would flush for a week straight. You slouched in the seat. Heck! I’d hide for a week straight! That wouldn’t be appropriate. We’re not like that.

Charlotte leaned over and added, “I did say ‘whisper’, you know.”

“Do you like like him?” Lucy asked.

Your hands wrung themselves into your sweater.

“He’s great. I just… We’re still getting to know one another. We’re friends.”

“It’s been more than two months. How much time do you need?” Charlotte inquired seriously.

“We’re not rushing anything,” you informed them. Heat rose to your neck uncomfortably. “We’re not expiring fruit. We don’t need to date or anything.”

“(Y/N) likes him.” Nathaniel declared.

Hushed laughter surrounded you and you sunk further into the seat.

Of course I like him. Just…not how they’re seeing it, you thought. He’s my best friend. He’s really great and sweet. I don’t… I’m still getting used to having someone like him in my life. Knowing he’s my soulmate is still something I have to tell myself is real.

You inwardly sighed in relief as the room’s lights dimmed low.

Just enjoy the movie. Listen to Nathaniel’s critique and we should all head home. Nothing has changed with Dick. Everything’s fine. You thought as you calmed yourself. He’s probably writing his essay though.

The film reel started and all talk in the theater dissipated. Audience members were treated to entertainment of screen and sound.

You were granted over an hour of doing absolutely nothing. A well needed break where all attention was focused elsewhere.

What a delight. A relief!

Hopefully the start of a much calmer week to come.

✧ ✧ ✧

A beautiful Sunday afternoon. Inside the Wayne Manor, young Dick Grayson was surrounded by notes and paper.

Having written in his room the days prior, he had decided to work on his end of term paper in the sitting room.

Open space, a couch, and a well appreciated plate of cookies. All the comforts a youth needed.

Once I finish this paper, it’s a huge step to spending summer break with (Y/N), thought Dick as he chewed a cookie. We could do so much. Swimming at the beach, visiting a museum, or going somewhere to eat or playing games.

Before he knew it, another school year would be over.

If he was this busy, he could rightly guess you were as well.

What else do they do whey they’re not busy? Do they read during the summer? He wondered. Maybe I can ask them to go somewhere over the summer. Just the two of us again. They seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. I hope. That milkshake was really good.

Reaching for his glass of milk, he took a long sip.

It was a rather easy day. Easy weekend overall. No unexpected visitors. No cases to solve. No charities to attend.

Dick set the glass of milk down as the phone rang on a side table.

Nearby, Alfred walked over to answer the phone. His voice hushed.

In his chest, Dick felt a tingling of excitement. Muffled and not his own, which only made him hope you had done something for yourself. For once.

Alfred directed his attention to the wide-eyed and hopeful youth.

“I’ll let him know.” The butler smiled. “It’s good to hear from you as well, (mx) (Y/N).”

Dick leapt to his feet before the older man could set the phone on the table’s surface or even say any more.

Chuckling, Alfred handed Dick the phone and walked away.

“Hello?” Dick asked, barely holding in his enthusiasm.

“Hey, Dick.” Your voice had a chipper tone. “How are you?”

How was he?

“I’m great. How are you? Are you home?” He rushed out his words.

The sound of your light laughter entered his ear and sent a grin to his face.

“I’m pretty good. Sitting in the study and eating some cookies.”

“Me too. The cookies, I mean.”

“Oh and,” you drew out the word. “I am officially no longer in trouble.”

“Holy relief!”

“Yeah. It was ridiculous, but it is what it is.” Your voice then raised suddenly for a second as you added, “And apparently it wasn’t all that important enough for my guardian to remember when getting an invitation.”

Dick shifted his weight on his feet.

“What do you mean? They forgot?”

“I think so… Doubt it. At least when they were on the phone Friday, they forgot. Charlotte’s mom called asking if we’d like to go see a movie. They basically brushed the whole punishment off when I reminded them.”

“That’s—.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Yes.” He gestured with his free hand sharply.

Good, he thought, they know, but I can’t believe it ended like that. Wait.

“Is your guardian there?” He asked.

“They’re still rummaging through their closet.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. “You’re alright?”

“Yes. I told you that I would.”

“I know. I…” He frowned.

What did he think? What had he been feeling about the situation? Was it appropriate to tell you?

Breathing in, Dick decided it was not the time. Bruce had already told him Thursday that he couldn’t be involved in others’ household matter. I wasn’t his place. H was a teenager. Yet he was also your soulmate and friend.

“Dick?”

“I needed to know if you were all right.”

His voice was small. He feared you could sense the breaking in his heart at the very thought of you being fearful of attracting more punishment at home and of his fear of what the punishments could turn into.

Holding the phone with both hands, it was a struggle to hold back a wave of words.

Change the subject.

He swallowed as he sensed your warm emotions spreading up his throat from his chest. They were good feelings, but he could not name them then. Muffled, but there.

“We need a day without school related anything and do something together.” You said, interrupting the quiet. “Something fun. Simple maybe.”

“You could come over here.”

He was relieved by the sound of your suggestion.

“We can do whatever you want.”

At his words, Dick could almost feel Bruce’s gaze on the side of his head.

A short laugh greeted his ear from the phone. It eased a smile onto his lips.

“Sure.” You said. “I’ll think of something after I revise my paper. Can’t distract myself too much. The last week of school shouldn’t be too bad and I’m ready for it to be over.”

“If neither of us are busy the last week of school, we might be able to see each other.”

Dick, honestly, could hardly wait much longer to see you again. No school, no secrecy, and no necessary work. He’d take hours of a party or charity dinner if it meant spending real time with you.

You hummed, “That could work. I’ll be sure to ask my guardian ahead of time. Better yet, mention it and get them onboard with the idea before asking. They’re always weird about me not going out.”

He shook his head.

The guardian is like a multi-dimensional puzzle. Not the fun kind by the sounds of it. Only some times, hopefully.

“We’ll make a plan, then?” You inquired cheerfully.

“We will.”

“Cool. Okay, um. I have to get back to my paper and cookies.”

Dick snickered. He couldn’t help it. You helped bring it out of him.

“And so do you.” You added with an air of humor. “Then the next time we see each other I can catch you up on the spider drama at school and what happened to my friend Lucy after we saw a movie.”

“It’s a drama now?”

What could’ve happened? It was a spider!

“Yup. But you have to wait for the details.”

“Can the days go by any faster?”

“Cross your fingers and tell everyone I said ‘hi’.”

“I will. Talk to you soon.” He was practically bouncing on his feet.

“I’m just a phone call away.”

“Bye.” He held the phone a little longer.

“Bye, Dick.”

The call ended and the young ward felt like he swam through a river of different emotions. Overwhelming joy from hearing your voice, relief from knowing you were no longer under restrictions from punishment, frustration from hearing anything about your guardian in the past two weeks, worry form knowing you feared getting in more trouble from mundane actions, and building excitement knowing he could see you again soon.

It was a bit much, however conversations had the opportunity to be pushed anywhere. If it was with you, he’d gladly go.

Having already hung up the phone and sat back down, Dick Grayson faced the questioning gaze of Bruce Wayne.

“Everything is well with (Y/N), I hope?” Bruce’s question was punctuated with a tiny smile.

“Yes and they say ‘hi’ again.”

“Goodness me,” Aunt Harriet walked into the room, having overheard them. “It’s been far too long since they’ve came around here. Poor dear has been cooped up at home.”

“Yeah,” Dick sighed. “Just them and Sir Hopps.”

His aunt’s eyebrows pinched together. “Who’s Sir Hopps?”

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

~~~

Part 5 -> "A Walk Amongst Emotions"

coffee

Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: @cubedtriangle

DC Tags: @

Dick Grayson Taglist: @projectdreamwalker

**Let me know if you would like to be tagged in insert readers, either through replies, ask, or message.**

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson soulmate au #dick grayson #richard grayson #60s Robin #batman tv series #where dreamers go

[girlintotv]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you to for tagging me, @mamadoc. This means a lot to me.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

101! It feels like such a dream to be over 100 fics.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,434,829 total since mid 2022 and 387,124 just in 2024!

Word count means a lot to me.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Written and posted for: Chenford (The Rookie) 80 fics, Stris (SWAT) 15 fics, Buddie (911) 3 fics, Nace (Nancy Drew) 2 fics, Dramione (Harry Potter) 1 fic and it was a birthday gift. I don’t even go there, and Two&Three (Dark Matteter) 1 fic.

I’ve written for other fandoms (that’s a longer list), but I haven’t posted those old little pieces of drabble, and I never intend to.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Sorry, friends, I don’t check kudos. I appreciate them, but I don’t look at hits, or kudos, or subscriptions, or bookmarks as units of measure. Ever. I can’t control how many and who likes my work, and so I don’t want to think about my work based on those numbers. I look at my word count, and that’s what I’m proud of. That tells me I’ve found a certain amount of time to do what I love, so I’ll go with Top 5 Fics by Word Count:

Limelight Love Story (Chenford)

Let’s Get Together (Chenford)

A Full Moon Curse (Chenford)

For Fake and For Real (Chenford)

King of My Heart (Chenford)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! Anyone who takes the time to leave a (positive) comment is someone I really appreciate. It means SO much to me, since that’s the only way I gauge engagement (as I mentioned before, I do not check kudos, etc.). It does take me a while to reply to comments, which I do apologize about. When I have a few minutes, I can either reply to comments or keep writing, and I tend to pick to keep writing, hence the delay in replying, but I will. I promise.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Written and posted so far: All Dogs Go To Heaven. I will truly NEVER live that story down. Sorry!!!

Second place is: You’re Losing Me (Pt. II).

I love angst. So much. Angst at the beginning of a story, angst in the middle, angst at the end…all of it! I do *tend* to write happily ever afters that are hard won, but nothing hurts like a super sad ending that will make you enjoy a good cry. I’m damaged. Leave me alone.

Also, I have my own angst scale to assess the pain of my stories (attached to this post for reference and in my profile on AO3). My love of pain is very serious. I already mentioned I’m damaged. Leave me alone.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my multichapters have a sugary sweet happy ending including a fluffy epilogue, because after the rollercoaster of angst, I feel like the beloved ship I’m writing for deserves it (also anyone who reads my fics and rides the rollercoasters deserves some happiness…usually) I think I Pretend You’re Mine might be the happiest, or The Story Of Us, or Let’s Get Together? Someone else might be a better judge.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ALL.THE.TIME! Since I started actively posting very regularly at the beginning of 2023 to now, I haven’t gone a month without receiving hate on a fic. It’s exhausting at times and, admittedly, has slowed my writing down a bit as of late.

Fun fact: I got some smut hate and quickly wrote and dedicated a smut fic to “my hater” called: A Great Way to Start the Day

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write mostly E and some gentler M smut. Nothing too kinky (posted thus far). It’s all been for Chenford as of now, and I have fun with it.

Smuttiest fic I’ve written: Lucy Chen and the Deadly Pixies

Second place: Out With A Bang

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve got half of an outline for a Caskett x Chenford crossover somewhere on my list. I hope I get to actually write it someday.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Who would steal MY insanity? No, I haven’t (to my knowledge).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve been approached a few times. I would be open to someone translating one of my fics into another language. Feel free to reach out!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It’s been a privilege to co-write Even If Saving You Sends Me To Heaven with heartofrookie and Somebody Save Me and Our Secretly Perfect Holidays with thatfandomwriter.

Always open to a collab!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

I could NEVER pick, but Chenford has my heart right now by a LANDSLIDE.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really believe I will finish all of them. If I start posting, I will finish the story. I hope I have the inspiration and time to write everything I have an idea for.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Being passionate and outlining. I think the passion of a writer will ALWAYS come through in their work. It’s so clear when someone is having fun with their story, and I always ALWAYS do, or I won’t write the fic. Also, I really thoroughly outline my stories before I ever write a word. It’s really important to me to have everything planned out to execute a story that has all of the aspects, plot, arcs, and development I want to include. Also, angst just won’t hit the same unless it’s outlined and well thought out. Otherwise, it can feel unnecessary, but all my angst has a reason.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pretty much everything especially fluff. I’ll never say I’m a great writer. I know that I’m not. I will say, I always enjoy myself and make myself happy with my work (or a friend on their birthday if I write them a birthday fic). That’s all that matters to me. I don’t need to be good or be a strong writer. I’m okay with being meh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve thrown in some Spanish for Chris in a Stris fic, but otherwise, haven’t done it yet. If someone else is comfortable speaking another language that a character speaks, I say go for it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, I wrote a story when I was REALLY young about Zack and Cody’s parents getting a divorce. I wrote it on my phone, and never posted it, and have long since deleted it (I am so embarrassed that I am sharing this right now). First fandom I posted for was MacRiley (MacGyver). My friend and I were obsessed with the show, it got canceled before the ship went canon, and so I wrote what I would have written for the final season. I posted it on WattPad. It’s not very good, but I did it and posted it per a friend’s request. Don’t judge me.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

There are a few.

Favorite MCD: Back to December (Chenford) This is the only story of mine that I’ve reread for pleasure.

Favorite vulnerable Tim: I Just Want You To Know Who I Am (Chenford)

Favorite I’ve written when I was in a dark place but still made something I think is beautiful: You Can’t Spell “Time” Without “Tim” (Chenford)

Favorite because someone told me they refused to take their own life until the story ended and sought help before I finished posting, so it’s the reason they’re still alive: King of My Heart (Chenford)

Favorite guilty pleasure story I’m glad I wrote: Let’s Get Together (Chenford)

Favorite because it was my first real multichapter Chenford fic: For Fake and For Real (Chenford)

Favorite breakup fic with a happy ending: You’re Missing From Me (Chenford)

Favorite Stris fic I *will* finish eventually: STRIS Season 6+ (Stris)

Appreciate being tagged and asked to talk about my fics. It’s been a pleasure to answer these questions.

Alright, time to go back to writing.

#chenford fic #chenford #chenford fanfic #fanfic #fanfic writer #fanfic writing

[mxdarling]

[Yandere type]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: Yan. neige because I want to see more RSA content PLS-

ೃ⁀➷: Word count: 526

ೃ⁀➷: Reference/Inspiration: {Link} | {Link}

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[Warnings:] obsessive behavior, worshipping behavior, yandere behavior, guilt-tripping, clingy behavior, mentions of stalking, taking photos w/o consent, taking agency away.

[GN reader]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :Neige LeBlanche;

✉ - [Worshipper, delusional, obsessive type.]

➮ NEIGE LEBLANCHE is a sweetheart. He's nice, friendly, naive, just in general a very pleasant person to be around. He's so sweet that it's almost hard to be mean to him, especially with all he's followers and popularity. While he can be insensitive he means no intentionally harm. He genuinely thinks your just a perfect human being and one that deserves all the love in the world. It's honestly almost cute and can be mistaken as puppy love if it weren't for those signs of obsession.

➮ He's a hardcore worshipper for his darling, very hardworking too. Always wanting their darling to be happy and pleased from him efforts. He's willing to give up the whole world for you, just say the word and it's yours. From the moment he met his darling he's already giving praises and compliments right towards their direction. He's so smitten for you, it's pretty much obvious to everyone even you but he's just so oblivious that you can't help but indulge him. He's clingy for sure, always by your side not wanting to leave you alone. Even if you ask for space away from him, can you really refuse him? He's just being there for you, after all he's been nothing but sweet to you hasn't he?

➮ Being in a school full of rich princes and goody-two-shoes like Royal Sword Academy he's probably heard some fairytales from his classmates about the moment they found their love, the moment they knew they were destined to be with each other and live happily ever after. Now he's has this idea of his knight in shining armor coming to save him and sweep him off his feet, swearing to each other that they will never part and staying together forever. Oh, how much he fantasized when that certain day will come. Stay with him forever, won't you?

➮ He's very much in love with you, so in love with you that he thinks you feel the same way too, even though you don't really do... Any nice thing you do for him, just adds to his delusion of you sharing the same love for him as he does for you!! He's already made up his mind that you guys are married, no matter what anyone says he's made up his mind. No one can change it otherwise, not even you. He's already planning your wedding despite still being in school, he's already told his friends, parents, and just everyone he knows in general. His fans can know later. He can finally make his fantasizes come true...

➮ Knowing Neige, he wants you to be happy. For that Neige needs to know everything about you. By everything I mean everything. From your favorites, likes, dislikes, hobbies, just everything about you. He mostly asks you about what you like and dislike thinking he's just trying to know you. Sometimes if he can't asks you any questions about yourself, he'll stalk you himself. He's taken dozens of photos just about you and only you, he even memorized the dates and time he took them. He basically has a whole album just dedicated to you. It's so sweet of him...

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

[a/n; Sorry I haven't been posting stuff, been lacking motivation so I wanted to get this out to maybe make up for my lack of activity?]

#Yandere twisted wonderland #Yandere twst #Twisted wonderland #Twst #Yandere twisted wonderland x reader #Yandere twst x reader #Twisted wonderland x reader #Twst x reader #Neige LeBlanche #Twisted wonderland Neige LeBlanche #Yandere twisted wonderland Neige LeBlanche #Twst Neige LeBlanche #Yandere twst Neige LeBlanche #┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ Yandere #Headcanons ☄. *. ⋆ #gender neutral reader

[jjeoni-7]

I wish I were Heather

{Soobin x Black Reader}

Sypnosis: In which Y/n has a the biggest crush on the popular guy Soobin, but finds herselfs in an embarassing situation and learns that he unfortunatly has a crush on the popular girl instead.

Genre: fluff, and angst.

this story is inspired from a real life experience :'D 

Warning: A LOT! of skips so beware in advance lol.

ft: Itzy: Yeji and Lia

•─────⋅⋅─────•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•─────⋅⋅─────•

Y/n pov 

I'm about to cry. Now the whole class is teasing me because they ALL know that I have a crush on the one and only Choi Soobin EVEN Soobin himself knows and said nothing about it...Well was about to I think, until I freaked out and hid behind my friend out of embarrassment. Now this little friendship we had is destroyed. All thanks to Lia who told one of Soobin's girl best friends, this girl can't keep quiet at all.

-flashback

I was talking to my friends while we were doing an art project when Jiseul  (Soobin’s girl best friend) joined us, and all of my crush on him was brought up "who has a crush on Soobin?" She asked looking at us questionably, I made a hush sign telling my friends not to tell knowing her reputation that she can't keep secrets but Lia didn't listen "y/n does, she loves him so much she won't shut up about him" she replied as they started teasing me, I blushed looking at Soobin laughing with his friend group, and then Jiseul ran to them "Jiseul don't-" too late she already told him now he was looking at me and Beomgyu said something in his ear to which he listened and they walked towards me. Me in the freaking out state ran away and hid behind Yeji until they walked away, from that day on the whole class was teasing me, and he was never seen talking with me again.

-end of flashback  

Now it's awkward talking with him. He became more distant than before and kept a stern face on.

*a while later in the school year*

I was drawing a picture of a boy and a girl laughing together which was pretty cute and made me wonder about Soobin, so I wrote beside it 'Soobin x y/n' and put a heart beside it  "aww did you draw this for Soobin" Jiseul said out of the sudden smiling at my picture, "no it's for myself, don't mind it-" "wait y/n let me see" Lia said as I gave it to her "it's so cute Soobin should see that" she said with a smirk "Lia i'm warning you if you-" she already ran fast towards Soobin with Yeji and Jiseul encouraging her,and before I could chase after her. Soobin looked at the paper with no emotions then threw it in the trash saying "I don't like her." My heart shattered "it's not even for you anyways why are you throwing my art in the trash" I said finally facing him mad at his action. He kept quiet and walked away with his friends home as if nothing happened. I hate him...But I can't I still love him nonetheless. I picked up my drawing from the trash heartbroken and mad at the girls, I just lost my pretty drawing because of their stubbornness “ You guys should listen to me, and stop lamely trying to get him to like me cuz he’s doesn’t” I said before walking away  ignored their shouts, and went home.

*the next day*

Lia, Jiseul, and Yeji came towards me and apologized for their actions "I'm so sorry y/n please forgive me" Lia pleaded with tears in her eyes as everyone looked at us "ugh fine, fine just stop embarrassing me" I said as she, and the 2 others got up happily hugging me. Later that day at Recess Jiseul came running to us "Soobin has a crush!" she said excitedly "who is it?" I asked suddenly interested "unfortunately it's not you it's Aeun" she replied "oh sure I don’t care anyways, it's not like he was ever gonna love me" I replied continuing my paused activity with a smile on my face feeling somehow disappointed.

*in Gym class*

 "they look cute together tho don't you think" I said to my friends as they both snorted "yeah right" Lia said "are you really shipping them together when you still like him? " Yeji asked "of course, you can't force feelings" I said, tying my shoes "seriously I wonder what's so good about this girl that guys like, she's been dating almost all your crushes" Yeji said "well a lot of stuff" I replied "like?" Lia asked "she's Korean, pretty, kind and sweet, besides she looks friendly" I replied "Girls 1 minute!" the gym teacher yelled "let's go, we'll talk after" I added as we all got out.

We started playing Badminton with partners, and guess what? My partner was Soobin, we started playing when  in the middle of the game (favorite song) started playing. I started dancing a bit while playing and sang a little as my friends happily joined me laughing, since they weren’t playing. Even Soobin was smiling and laughing while trying to make me lose "haha you lost" I exclaimed when the birdie fell on his side "pfft whatever" he said rolling his eyes playfully " have you ever thought of being a dancer? You’re good at dancing" he said laughing "thanks I guess" I replied laughing. My... I miss these days. He would tease me and make my heart flutter. It's funny that after making me sad he makes me laugh as if nothing happened, but then Aeun came beside him and his eyes were glued on her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Since it was the end of Gym class I left and went to my friends " my, she's annoying" Lia said " it’s alright girls, stop judging her she isn't that bad" I said " yes, but I kind of hate the way she sticks to him all the time" Jiseul said " oh my you scared us where do you come from?" I asked " from the sky, and fell right in front of you" she joked as we all laughed, later I learned that Aeun was asking Soobin out in front of the whole school.

I went and watched with my friends. " I've had a crush on you ever since I knew you liked me" she bragged " would you love to be my boyfriend?" she asked " actually I..." he said looking around and looked at me. He approached towards me asking my hand, and I panicked " common you got it girl" Jiseul said as my other friends encouraged me, I hesitantly took his hand and he led me to the front " not to be rude but, I actually love y/n, I know I've been rude to you, and distant, but I love you more than you think" he said as some of the students gasped " so sorry Aeun, but I don't like you" he said as the students gasped  and Aeun stared at me from up and down " what do you see in her, she's not even pretty, neither Korean" she replied " actually Aeun, love is more than appearance, and race it's about the person's qualities and personality" Soobin said " well it's true that appearance can make a difference, but what can it do when you're pretty, but with a nasty attitude?" he added asking as she scoffed, and walked away with her minions at her heels.

I looked at Soobin, still flabbergasted, and said, suspiciously, “ are you doing this to get rid of her?” I asked as he shook his head “ I really love you y/n, I do a lot” he said " but why were you mean all the time?" I asked and he chuckled " I didn’t know how to react to it, I was scared of rejection, but learning that you liked me, made me panic, and not to forget the fact that you ran away when I was about to talk to you" he said as I nodded feeling embarrassed " So y/n, do you want to be my girlfriend?" he added “ I would love to, but first apologies for throwing my drawing in the trash” I replied " Which one-? Oh about that one, I’m Very Very sorry l/n for throwing your drawing in the trash, I promise to keep them all in the future, even the ugly ones." he teased as I rolled my eyes chuckling " Since you apologized, I would love to be your girlfriend" I replied ,making him smile and spin me around and kiss me as the crowd cheered and clapped, Jiseul, Lia and Yeji clapped louder " that's my bro!" Jiseul shouted at me and Soobin pulled apart, and laughed at what she said. " you're mine now" he said hugging me " yes, I'm yours" I replied smiling, I never thought still liking him would have paid off in the end. Maybe if I hadn’t ran away, he would have confessed earlier, but I’m still happy he did at the end.

The end

well...not all stories end happily ever after. Mine didn't, and it never did with my crushes because of so many reasons. But since I like happy endings, I changed it. This story is again INSPIRED so not all the events in it are true, anyways hope you liked my story, have a good day/ night 😚:).

#txt #hueningkai #txt drabbles #txt soobin #txt scenarios #txt soft hours #txt yeonjun #txt beomgyu #txt taehyun #Itzy #hwang yeji #itzy lia

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously - No Defense

Spoilers for script/ s5 finale leaks below, so readers beware and all that!

“But why are people defending Lila and Chloe? They helped Hawkmoth and are cruel to Marinette for no reason!”

Look, if I have to choose between two teenyboppers acting out out of spite and a middle school celebrity crush and a grown man who’s actively making bad choices that are hurting his loved ones with himself not even giving a damn because “he just really loves his wife”, then the decision’s practically being made for me - especially if I’m told I have to treat said teenyboppers like they’re Satan incarnate solely because they’re big meanies to the MC instead of everything else they’ve done in series while the man in question has to be celebrated and given everything he wants despite all the pain and bs he’s put both the leads and entire city through because dead coma wife made him sad :C.

And at least the show was honest about Lila being that petty and egotistical enough to team up with a supervillain because it might give her power (and also ruin Marinette’s day) - half the stuff she pulls doesn’t surprise or upset me that much because I was told from the jump she’s a little jerk with no attempts to excuse/humanize it (or telling me I need to feel bad/like her or I’m “bad” too like with Gabe). Meanwhile, of the two times Chloe joined Gabemoth, one required him to go out of his way to manipulate and isolate her into saying yes (Like yeah, she was already told she couldn’t be QB anymore and shouldn’t have been that upset/shocked Ladybug got a different hero to help fight her parents, but that doesn’t change the fact that Gabriel and Nathalie purposely made Chloe think Ladybug didn’t want her help specifically so she’d turn on her more easily), while the other was Chloe...trying to get out of gym class and thus waits for an Akuma to just show up and posses her (as opposed to Lila straight up grabbing one from the air that just happened to be passing through and giving Gabemoth her own evil plan to take down LB just because), so that one was just a regular Akuma of the day plot with a minor twist. Otherwise, Chloe’s just a self-centered jerk who does whatever makes her feel like she’s the best but overall is frankly harmless (as Marinette and co either ignore her or quickly undo her nonsense) unless she’s throwing daddy’s mayor title around - something that was also told to me at the start. The fact that the show is only now trying to make these two seem like, King Ghidorah levels of evil/bad (especially when they took no time to help build up Lila to her future big bad status like they clearly wanted it to seem like due to never using her more) when they’re done nothing to really earn it (yes, even with the events of “Ladybug” and “Miracle Queen”) is...kind of silly, especially in comparison to Gabriel’s crimes. Yeah, they should face some form of consequence for the bullying and deliberate akumatization, but on a scale that actually matches those actions.

On the other side of it though, Gabriel is literally doing everything he can to make his son and said son’s girlfriend miserable as possible as he torments the people of the city into becoming his willing/unwilling goon squad to fight two magical teenagers for their Miraculous, yet we’re supposed to just see it as “a misunderstanding” and accept him getting rewarded with the wish and Emilie’s revival because “oh, just let the poor magical terrorist have his dead wife back! He really is sorry and feels bad about it - not enough not to use his son as a bargaining chip for an evil magical eugenics cult and backstab the heroine after she gives him a chance to repent and steal her magical objects to get the Wish, but he really rweally fweels bwad”. If Chloe has to be disowned and Lila forced into one of her many alt-identities as a result of their actions, then Gabriel should not get to have his happily ever after self-sacrifice, even if it does end up hurting Adrien in the long run.

#Clover Rants Miraculously #MLB Leaks #MLB Bible Spoilers #ML Leaks #ML Salt

[themirokai]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged in this by the incredible @pellaaearien . Thank you so much, dear! I really did start working on it when you tagged me and have picked away at it ever since. It’s quite long!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

122,560. I write short things.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

In chronological order I have written:

BBC Sherlock- Mystrade only

James Bond

Doctor Who

Star Wars

Person of Interest

Arcane

Cats the Musical

Sandman

In theory I’m open to writing in any of those again and any others as the inspiration strikes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5 - Worship (Sandman, Dreamling), also received the comment that inspired my first tumblr post to breach containment.

4 - Who He Is (Mystrade), my first fic on ao3 besides the ones I moved to the Other Account. I’m a bit surprised by this honestly. It’s got age on its side but my writing has improved a lot since then. It reads as a bit clunky to me now.

3 - Loverboy (Sandman, Dreamling + Matthew the Emotional Support Raven), first time I brought my 2 Sandman series together and my first multi chap Sandman fic.

2 - The Century Gentleman (Sandman, Dreamling), I got this written and posted pretty soon after the show aired when there was a massive demand for Dreamling content and before there was a tidal wave of content to meet the demand. I have mixed feelings about it now.

1 - Sort It (James Bond & Sherlock crossover, 00Q + Mystrade), fills the niche of “Q is a Holmes brother” + fluffy Mystrade. I do still really love this story.

5. Do you respond to comments?

My rule is that I do. And I’ve generally been very diligent about it. But I burnt out a little while writing Grave and I currently have an embarrassing number of unread comments in my ao3 inbox that I keep telling myself that I need to respond to…

So if folks have commented on my stuff in the last month or so, I’m very sorry I haven’t responded.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sequenced Proposals. No contest. Look, the character is terminally ill in canon and it’s a lawyer AU so it wasn’t going to end with him becoming a cyborg. I cried a lot while writing it. Apparently a lot of people cried while reading it. Technically he’s still alive when the story ends.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With the one notable exception discussed above I pretty much exclusively write warm, fluffy, occasionally funny stuff. They pretty much all end happily. I am a quokka of fan fiction.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t! Someone called me a bitch in a Sequenced Proposals comment but even though we had never interacted before, they meant it positively.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not on this account. 😏

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve written 2: Sort It, as mentioned above, and Dreaming of Leverage, which is a Sandman & Leverage crossover. I’d say the latter is crazier.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nooooo. And I can’t see ever doing it. Writing is very much a solo activity for me.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can’t pick a favorite. I adore every ship I’ve written.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I will probably not finish Law School Days. I know how the story ends and that’s good enough for me and no one was clamoring for it. I still like to think I’ll finish Lonely Two-Legged Creatures some day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m good at dialogue, especially dialogue in which characters talk about their feeeeeelings. I guess I’m also good at emotional intelligence in stories. And creating the warm & fuzzies.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot and description. I almost exclusively write very short things because I am incapable of plot that would carry a longer story. Also, if I’m being honest, one of the things I like about writing fan fiction is that I don’t have to describe what anyone looks like or sounds like! Y’all know that already. But I do get the flop sweats if I have to describe someone wearing clothing that is not a t-shirt and jeans.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wish I could! More than 15 years ago I was basically conversational in Spanish, but now I’m functionally monolingual. I do appreciate when people who do this provide translations.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As a kid, before I knew what fan fiction was, I wrote at least 100 pages of what was essentially OCs in Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar. The first fandom I intentionally wrote and posted fic for was Mystrade.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Can’t do this, sorry. There are some of my stories that no longer resonate with me the way they did when I wrote them, but they’re in the minority and of the rest it’s impossible to pick a favorite.

Phew! That was a lot. Whenever I tag people in these I always say no pressure but really and seriously this time there’s no pressure and you don’t need to tell me why you’re not doing it. Just ignore. ALSO, if you’ve already done it and I missed it, apologies! With that said @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising @lavenderandvanilla @ml-nolan @mashumaru @ibrithir-was-here @karalynlovescake @stormofsharpthings @argylepiratewd

#tag game #long post #no pressure tags #mirokai writes

[kindofsortofmaybe]

Gustholomule with 002 for the ask game!!

hi anon i'm so sorry i meant to answer this ages ago but i was swamped with finals all week! finally free though :)

when i started shipping it: pretty early in my watch through! i remember watching something ventured, someone framed and thinking hmmm... these bitches gay ?? and then once i got into the fandom and saw there was a following for it i really started shipping it! actually my first toh fanart was gustho haha

my thoughts: i don't think dana & co ever meant for us to ship them tbh, so even though i was disappointed that they didn't interact in the finale, i wasn't super surprised. but i think they have such an interesting dynamic!! gus is so cool and matt is not but also theyre both SO lame in the best way and they both have trust issues and also theyre like 12 and like... they are just so special to me

what makes me happy about them: how goofy they are. while i do think there's so much potential for their dynamic, i also think they're just two silly guys who hang out and i like the simplicity of that

what makes me sad about them: their lack of screen time :( (together and separately)

things done in fanfic that annoy me: hmmm tbh i've only read gustho fanfics that i've really enjoyed... i've never really had a negative experience with a gustho fic! all our writers are so talented! but i guess something that sometimes bothers me in fanon is when the hexsquad is rude to matt/don't give him a chance. i see why they might be wary, but Luz is the king of Befriending Everyone, willow is naturally very compassionate, and hunter/amity have both had their fair share of second chances! so even if they wouldn't get along right off the bat, i'm not a fan of scenarios where they just never warm up to him/consistently dislike him

things i look for in fanfic: i love when gustho fics have them just hanging out being teenagers. thats the vibe i think fits them best!

who i'd be comfortable them ending up with if not each other: hmmm i don't really have other ships for either of them! there's no one that comes to mind but i think if either of them were implied in the finale to be in a relationship with a hexside student we've met, i'd be like 🤷‍♀️ sure ig

my happily ever after for them: they continue to get close and become besties throughout high school, move in together after grad, and are so close that eventually they realize they've basically been dating for years and just kinda shrug like kay guess we're a couple and then theyre in love forever <33

who is the big spoon/little spoon: i think it depends! the both fill both roles at different times. though i do think that depending on when they get together, matty would totally be like "I'M the big spoon cause i'm MANLY" and gus is like "okay manly man" and makes him the little spoon anyway and he actually loves it

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: i'll bfr they're sex-neutral aces to me anyway so <3 (i don't really think about their feelings about sex since they're like 12 for most of the show, i just love to project my identity onto blorbos) so ANYWAY to actually answer the question, i headcanon that they LOVE to game together. video games and board games both - they just both get so competitive and have a lot of fun with it. their game nights are VERY loud and high-energy

thank you sm for the ask! i love thinking about these losers :)

#answered #anon #maybetalkstoomuch #gustholomule #toh headcanons

[takaraphoenix]

20 Questions Game for Fic Writers

Tagged by @blairwaldcrf ! Thank you, dear! <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

As of right now, 1214 works! Damn, I've been busy :D"

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

Currently at 9,167,371 words, slowly inching toward the 10 million mark!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh gosh, the total list is so long at this point, with various one-off kind of deals, or fandoms I've moved on from.

I am currently considering myself an active writer in these fandoms though: Shadowhunters, Percy Jackson, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, DC Comics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sorted by kudos, my top 5 fics are:

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (Marvel, Loki/Tony), with 7,945

My College Boyfriend (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 6,353

The Lion's Pride (Voltron, Shiro/Keith/Lance), with 6,163

The Ghost King of Summers High (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 5,600

Percy Jackson, Ambassador of Hades (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 4,985

Which actually looked really fucked up because yeah sure there's four super popular multi-chapter fics of mine. And then there is My College Boyfriend, which isn't just a oneshot, it is a oneshot with under 3k words. What. What.

And the, quite frankly frustrating, part here is that this oneshot only has 24 comments. Not even every 100th reader felt the need to leave a comment. That's just... so sad. Like. Genuinely, I think the kudos system broke commenting because the convenience of pressing a button beat actually expressing yourself genuinely through words and from the bottom of my heart, I find that depressing as fuck.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always. Every single one of them. Because comments mean something. Someone took the time to tell you, with words, that they liked your work and maybe even what they liked about it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooof, multiple contestants from back in my day when I wrote German fics for the Beyblade fandom and wrote about... darker themes. Not all fics used to have happy endings. I wrote some fics that ended in a suicide, so I guess those.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Impossible to answer, because for as long as I've been active in English writing, all my fics have had happy endings. The guy gets the guy, the girl gets the girl, and they live happily ever after. The world is saved or the evil defeated, maybe there's even an epilogue of a next gen in there. That's my standard, it ends happily. So that makes it impossible to pick one that somehow ends happier than the rest. xD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

loool

Right. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Funnily enough, never on the things you would assume attract hatred - the incest, the explicitly non-con stuff.

Nah, I got death threats and words that were somehow worse than death threats on my Oliver/Felicity fics in the DC fandom... a... straight canon ship... but not the canon ship from the multiverse that these vile assholes liked, so, ya know. Threaten the fans who love a ship you hate.

Also over the years, lotta nasty general homophobia for Nico/Percy in the PJO fandom - I have been writing in this fandom since 2010, and yes, there were really a lot of people especially in the earlier years who just hated the idea of making either Percy or Nico gay.

And the dumbasses who declare Jace/Alec incest and thus hate and threaten this ships fans in the Shadowhunters fandom. But still, inexplicably, like Alec. Even though, in canon, he's the one who was in love with Jace. I don't know, but if you claim the nasty, nasty incest is The Bad Thing, I think you should hate the character with the nasty, nasty incestuous feelings, instead of the fans who write perfectly tagged and filterable fics. But that's just me, I guess.

So yeah, top three of hatred I got over the years - but if you wanna read a highlight reel of bullshit hate mail I got, feel free to go and check out my Dear Anonymous Shitheads tag!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

All kinds of smut? I don't know how to answer this question, to be honest. xD

I've written oral, anal, vaginal, mlm, wlw, m/m/f, rare m/f ships but usually either she pegs or it's ABOverse and she's an alpha, I generally pepper in some flavors of BDSM into it, I've written dub-con and non-con before, bestiality, double penetrations. I have written a lot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Oh, that is absolutely going to my first ever crossover. Because my usual crossovers are, ya know, that Big Four animated movie crossover verse (Tangled/Brave/HTTYD/RotG), or "I like these two fandoms, how would A's characters fit into B's world/how would B's characters fit into A's world?" for... essentially all my fandoms, and I wouldn't call any of these crazy - because the Big Four crossover is a beast of an own fandom so it's not really "original" or far out there to write for it, and in all my other crossovers, I do pride myself on making it work, like, not just throwing characters together but fitting their backstories and special powers into how the other world works.

So the craziest one is absolutely A Hundred Times Over, which is a oneshot sequel to my first-ever English-written fic and was written as a celebration because it was my 100th fic back then.

The original fic was already a crossover between Detective Conan and PJO, so for the celebration I thought "okay so what if I throw in my current obsession - Doctor Who - and my first ever ship - Shere Khan/Bagheera?". So, yeah, this crossover between Detective Conan, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who and Jungle Book has to be my craziest so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

So often. So, so, so, so often.

If you see my fics on watpad or any other platform that isn't AO3 or Fanfiction.net - and if you see them on those two but posted by an author that ISN'T Takara Phoenix - then please, let me know. Drop me a link wherever you can, I always greatly appreciate being told that my fics have been stolen so I can report that person and have it taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. All of the stealing of my fics has made me incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of my fics flowing around on other people's accounts or other websites, especially since the first like four or so stolen fics I had were translated.

Someone took my fics, translated them into Spanish and Russian, and posted them on other platforms, without ever asking my permission.

I don't want thieves to more easily slip through the cracks in between authorized repostings of my stories, so I have the blanket policy to not allow translations.

If you see my fics in other languages, tell me.

(There is one story that has been translated, but I'm not sure how far it counts, because I did the translating myself, and that's Lass Uns Etwas Dummes Tun/Looking For Something Dumb to Do. It is a PJO fic about Nico/Percy that I wrote in celebration for Germany legalizing gay marriage in 2017; I wrote it in German first, due to that, and then decided to translate it into English since I know my core-audience are English-speakers and not German-speakers.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeees!!! With my wonderful, amazing, lovely @kimmycup!!! ^-^

We've written a total of five fics together so far.

Three Shadowhunters fics: Hurting and Healing, a Magnus/Jace oneshot, Three Times the Boys Felt Left Out, a Jordan/Simon/Jace oneshot, A King By Any Other Name, a Alec/Jace oneshot.

A Vampire Academy oneshot about Mason/Christian: The Chance at a Happily Ever After.

And, our pride and joy, our 51k multichapter Shadowhunters/Vampire Academy crossover fic about Mason/Christian and Simon/Jace: Double Puppy Dare.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's such a hard question to answer for me as a multishipper.

But to be quite honest, I think I would have to go with Kaito/Shinichi from Detective Conan/Magic Kaito?

It's the ship I've been the most consistently been faithful to and that, whenever I see it, sparks joy. That has proven that even when the fandom's gone dormant for me for months or years, it can reignite into a wildfire, where other fandoms just fizzle out and disappear from my interests then.

These two get me, they've been getting me for one and a half decades now and I doubt they'll stop any time soon.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of my unfinished German fics over on Animexx. When the German Beyblade fandom started to die, I tried to cling on, but at one point... when all your favorite writers, all your friends, have moved on? And then I started reading fics in English and soon after, also writing them in English. I feel bad about it, but it's just been far too long now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Personally, I'd say world building. That's also my passion. I love creating elaborate worlds for my stories to take place in - I mean, damn, for the book series I'm writing, I developed my own language, religion and drew a map of the city it takes place in, among other things. A well-developed world is so important.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, fight scenes and action and other things that...

When a character is good at a thing that I am not good in or know a lot about?

Like, when a character is super quippy and funny, but I am not really a one-liners-person so now I have to come up with quippy one-liners to capture his personality?

Or fighting or science, when a character is an expert in a field that I know nothing about and would not understand jackshit about even if I tried because it's not my wheelhouse? Those things, I really struggle with.

Also, I hate action and fight scenes. Like. That's the parts when I check my phone usually to avoid that my eyes glaze over from boredom. So, naturally, writing these things? Not fun. Not good at it either, imo. But certain fics - or rather, certain characters too - require action and fight scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Painful if you have to use Google Translate. If you know the language? Yeah, go for it! If you have to resort to Google Translate? Maybe just write it in italics and note that it's in x language. It spares both, the native speakers who will die from second hand embarrassment, and the non-speakers who... won't understand it anyway.

But in the cases that I use foreign languages (and usually when I do, it's just... pet-names. Things you can't really fuck up that much and things that people would say in another language even in English-main-dialogues), I always put the translation right behind the sentence, because it's a special brand of obnoxious when you have to scroll ALL the way to the end of a chapter or fic to see what tf you just read, and then scroll back up again.

Hate doing that, so I won't do that to my readers.

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Oh, that's Yu-Gi-Oh!, with a hurt/comfort Kaiba/Joey fic.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Can't answer that, it always depends on my current mood which of my babies I love the most ;P

Tagging @kimmycup and @justonemorechapternicercy and @fallenqueen2 for this fun! And anyone else who wants to do it! <3

#Tumblr Tag Game #Writing #About Me

[moondal514]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @decaflondonfog and @jaywalkers (thanks y’all, loved reading both of your thoughts. sorry I’m late doing this)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10 works (8 fics (one of which is a secret fic for @aftgthenandnow) and 2 original works)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

30,661 (not a whole lot but I’m working on it 😅)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All For the Game is my main bitch but I also have fics published (or orphaned in some cases) for KinnPorsche, Romeo & Juliet, and BBC Merlin. It’s actually my default state to be a fandom hoe so I currently have active WIPs for All For the Game, BBC Merlin, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, Word of Honor, Tian Guan Ci Fu, KinnPorsche, and a secret fandom for Yuletide

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

leave or stay (i’m invisible here) (KinnPorsche, Kim/Chay, 4k, T)

secret @aftgthenandnow fic

sometimes i wish i kept some of my feelings in the basement (All For the Game, Andrew/Neil, 6k, M)

A Damned Saint, An Honorable Villain (Romeo & Juliet, Benvolio/Tybalt, 3k, M)

No Stranger To the Wind (All For the Game, Andrew/Neil, 10k, T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to comments, mostly just cuz I like thanking people or engaging in conversation with them if they leave a neat comment. But I’m (happily) not exactly a popular writer, both cuz I’ve only just started posting fic and also cuz the subject matters and/or fandoms I tend to write for can be pretty niche, so it’s easy for me to have the energy to reply to all the comments I get

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm I guess prob Prayers or A Damned Saint, An Honorable Villain. Both have kind of depressing open endings

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Prob Belonging cuz it’s mostly just found family fluff

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I’ve never gotten hate before and I really hope I never do cuz I would cry

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol no. Most I’ll do is a fade-to-black pg-13-type of thing or innuendo

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do write crossovers but I haven’t ever finished writing any of them, just a couple fandom fusions (No Stranger To the Wind is the All For the Game characters existing in the universe of Cinda Williams Chima’s The Seven Realms series). The craziest one that I’ve ever outlined though was a BBC Merlin/Voltron crossover where after Lancelot walks through the Veil, he’s reincarnated as Voltron’s Lance McClain 😂 (I may or may not have been very inspired by Trust Me, I'm an Alchemist by metisket)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I hope I never do cuz that’s such an insanely disrespectful and shitty thing to do

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be thrilled to have any of my fics translated…so long as the translation is hosted on ao3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

My best friend helped me out with the kissing scenes in sometimes i wish i kept some of my feelings in the basement so that’s about the closest to co-writing I’ve ever gotten. I’d love to fully co-write with someone one day though

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Hmm difficult question. It’s hard for me to have an all-time favorite ship cuz my favorite ship is usually going to be whoever holds the spot of brainrot of the moment. As I currently don’t have a single ship that’s taking the cake rn, I’m going to say Andreil because they hold the record for longest time of being brainrot of the moment for me (19 months, which I know doesn’t sound like a long time but you have to consider that it’s my default state to be in a lot of fandoms at the same time, so the fact that I was for the most part only focused on AFTG for a sizable period of time is highly unusual for me). I have to give a shout-out to Merthur though cuz they’re responsible for turning my fandom participation from passive (solely reading fic) to active (actually writing fic and engaging with fandom communities…that is to say Merthur was part of the driving force behind me creating this tumblr, though Andreil is the ship that got me to actually start posting lol)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

So I’ve got this AFTG Hunger Games au that I’ve been unable to write because every time I sit down to try to write something for it, I get a new idea to add to my outline for the au and then next thing I know I’ve done no actual writing and I’ve just made the outline longer. And now I just stare at the monster of an outline I’ve made and get too intimidated to write the fic cuz it’s just soooo long. And I don’t like posting fics unless I know they could stand on their own (even if they’re a part of a series) so the likelihood of me ever posting anything for this au is becoming sadly less and less likely as time goes on

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m not sure actually. Prob characterization cuz that’s usually what I get complimented on the most in fics

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

1000% dialogue. Every bit of dialogue I’ve ever written has been an excruciating process where I hold the screen with a death grip and ask “would he/she/they fucking say that????” I hate writing people talking so much, it’s just exhausting for me, especially in a large group setting, which is prob why my default type of fic to write is usually a short introspective character study of some sort 😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would never do it myself cuz unfortunately I’m a lame American who is only fluent in English, but I love reading it in other fics (…if it’s done well cuz I’ve seen some very cringey and awkward instances of multilingual dialogue in fic over the years)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The 1st fic I ever wrote that I posted on ao3 was for BBC Merlin (which I’ve since orphaned cuz the fic is kinda cringe). But before that, I took a creative writing class and our 1st writing assignment was essentially write a fanfiction (the prompt was literally “write a variation on an existing story”). I chose to write a story inspired by Monsta X’s DRAMARAMA music video and accidentally used the names of 2 guys in my class for the main characters (in my defense, it was the 1st week of class and the names were very generic American boy names). So I guess technically that was my 1st fanfiction 😂

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

sometimes i wish i kept some of my feelings in the basement. I really popped off with that one. It’s the only fic of mine that I actively reread for fun and I’ve been trying to replicate whatever was in the water when I wrote that fic ever since

No pressure tagging (apologies if you’ve already done this I haven’t been keeping track 😂): @seasy33 @bisexualbard @quensty @nanatsuyu @justadreamfox @worldenough-and-time @kairospy

#moonie writes #moonie posting

[caterpillarinacave]

Hi! I'm the same Henry anon from yesterday, thank you for your answer!

If you actually want to elaborate more on your headcanons and you have time to do so, I'd love to read more! I was especially curious to know if there is a specific explanation for the headcanon about the way his sleeping habits changed? (And in the tags you mentioned angst?) And in general if you ever want to write an hour long rant I'll happily read it!

Anyway, if you've read until here, bye, and thanks for taking the time to read all of this!

Anon, I am SO sorry, this took so long to answer!!! I do try to be timely, apperances aside.

You know how you have to invite vampires inside for them to come into your house? Yeah, when it comes to talking I'm like one of those vampires. I, of course, would like to talk for hours and am ready to talk for hours,, however I will not start talking until someone invites me to. I like to wait until I have a specific request from someone, then I begin my speech.

Anyway, all that aside, someone has now asked me, so buckle up buttercups, because i am about to TALK

Just a warning, these headcannons get a little more angsty, and therefore a little more dark

Regarding your first question, dear anon, basically, disabilities are exhausting. Physically and emotionally, even if you've got it under control, most every disabled people are constantly tired. 

Everything is automatically more physically strenuous.

I, for example, slept really lightly for a really long time. In a lot of ways I still do, but once my more physical disabilities (even though I have them very well under control) showed up the actual want to sleep shoots way up. 

You can totally stay up all night working on something and be just fine, but once you lay down and your brain gets the little “yep, we get to sleep now” message, it JUMPS on it. You might've had iffy sleep schedules, but once the physical aspect is added to the mix, it’s really hard to convince your brain to get up when everything is so tired if you stir in the middle of the night. After a while your brain doesn't work anywhere near as hard to try and wake you up, and suddenly you're totally down to fall asleep on the carpet and sleep there for six and a half hours. 

Same applies for Henry. 

It's exhausting to get around as a disabled person and he's just… tired.

The weeks following the battle of idris were NOT a fun time lol. Didn't seem awful from an outside POV, but physically speaking Henry was having an awful, awful time, and emotionally Charlotte was having the go of it. 

He’s in charge of all his mobility aids. Made a lot of them, with less input from the silent brothers then youd think he would need.I mean, shadowhunters are ridiculously unhelpful (seriously, how was he the first one to come up with a wheelchair. how.) Logistically speaking, he has multiple chairs, but a favorite. 

He has just got to eat more. He’s so awful at keeping track of time, forgets to eat constantly. and is pretty much 0% body fat. He usually gets away with it, but he’s got nothing to fall back on if he’s sick or injured, which was kind of a problem after the battle of idris. 

He used to be a decent piano player, but most of what he enjoyed playing relayed on a peddle, and while he probably could, it wasn't ever worth finding a way to make the pedal work for him, so he just kinda moved on. 

This one's more canon but he had absolutely no friends. Like, at all growing up. He was lucky if they ignored him instead of actively harassing him but like??? He doesn't really care??? He’s just like, “kay yeah, whatever”, then grows up and continues to not have any shadowhunter friends but it seems like warlocks think he’s really fucking cool, so is that a win? 

You know how there's the persistent theme of Charlotte feeling guilty for the events of TID? Henry’s kind of in the same boat. Any one as pedantic as me remembers the line at the end of CA;

Going off the book, he was the one who told Mortmain about the Pyxis,  he was the one technically protecting Jessamine when she died, left the woman he loved to suffer in silence because he can't figure the most obvious things, his list of failures miles long, his presence causing so much annoyance to everyone around him.  

How could he be so stupid, so blind? How many problems had he caused just by being who he was?

Who would be alive, who would have suffered so much less if he had just been a little smarter, a little quicker, a little less like himself?

He’s spent his whole life being told that he’s stupid, makes everything worse, everything is his fault, and he’s a burden on everyone around him, and there’s these things that might be his fault (no, nothing was his fault, Henry forgive yourself please-) you can not tell me they arent weighing on him a little bit. 

To pull from a discarded WIP of mine, “...in her head, Charlotte’s hands were stained red, and in his, Henry could bathe in the blood of the shadowhunters he’d killed.”

Genuinely hates staying in bed. It just drives him insane to sit in one room doing nothing. It’s bearable to go sit in your pajamas in the living room, but doing the same thing in a bedroom? 

Insufferable. Unmanageable. Impossible. Horrific. How could you possibly stay in such a boring place that long. What do you mean I could die. I’ll die in a different room thank you very much.

He’s really good at chess, but doesnt really get the big deal about winning the game. As in, he doesn't even remotely get why someone would get upset about losing, or why it’s if you want someone to like you you shouldn't beat them in five minutes. Charlotte eventually told him that some people just hate losing. “Great, got it” he said, then proceeded to just ask people if they wanted to win or not. This is not good for political relations. 

Cue the Clave conversations; 

“Do you play? I’d be honored to play a round with you, Mr. Fairchild.”

“I’d be delighted to. How would you like to play?”

“Beg pardon?”

“Would you like me to try and beat you, pretend to try and beat you but purposefully lose, or blatantly lose?”

“...”

“:)”

====

“Henry, darling, let’s go over this in a different way.”

“Literally what did I do???”

It’s canon that he had a lot of self esteem issues when he was younger, but it's one of the things I wish CC had looked more into. (I’ve got a fic about this exact thing, but don't know if i'll ever post it lol)

 There have been a few times when he’d had a particularly bad day and finds himself a little closer to the edge of a bridge than he should be, and shaking off how easy it would be to die right then. In a couple seconds, he could never bother anyone again. 

It's really an intrusive thought, but he just can't help but think how much better it might be for everyone if he wasn't here. The shadowhunters really genuinely don't like him, and canonically treat him horribly, and for him it seems like all he does for Charlotte, who he loved more than anything else in the world, is make her life harder.

 When he’s coming back from an assignment it would be so easy to drop everyone else off at the institute, take a horse out (Balios can find his way back), and just not come back. At least not breathing, that is. 

 He doesn’t act, of course. After all, the Institute is a busy place, and he often is needed for errands or assignments. It would be cruel to leave them to navigate with one less pair of hands. Will and Jessamine really are a handful, and Jem is… well, it wouldn't be fair to make a scene when the focus should be on them. Besides, if Charlotte is at all fond of him, his death would be more upsetting than his blunders. 

Right?

#i love my headcannons #if all yall have thoughts and questions i love then #tw suicide mention #i guess? #seriously though anon sorry that took like a wee #k #tid #tlh #tsc #henry fairchild #henry branwell #the infernal devices #headcannons #charlotte fairchild #charlotte branwell