#a bit of angst to even out that festive cheer

[pulisicsgirl]

christmas on my own - mason mount

summary: when Y/N finds herself spending Christmas alone for the first time in her life, a chance encounter with Mason may prove to be just the cure she needed for her holiday blues

pairing: Mason Mount x reader

word count: 6.3k

warnings/tags: semi-established relationship, the tiniest bit of angst at the beginning but overwhelming fluff for the rest of it, Christmas celebrations, awkward encounters with meeting the family for the first time

requested: no

notes: surprise!! Please ignore the fact that it's been three months since I last posted a fic. Life has been coming at me pretty fast this year, and it's made it incredibly difficult for me to find the time or motivation to write. But I've been thinking about and planning this one since almost October, so I wanted to be sure I was able to put this out as a little Christmas gift for you all!! Thank you for being so patient with my inconsistent posting schedule this year, and I hope you're all able to enjoy some time with your loved ones this holiday season! Also I know that Mila is still a baby, but for the sake of the fic, please pretend she's a toddler Merry Christmas to all of you, my loves!!

You blew hot air into your clenched fists in an attempt to warm them as you stood in the small Manchester café. The biting cold of the outdoors was still making your fingertips ache as you lingered near the counter, long after you had finished placing your order and paying.

You briefly surveyed the somewhat empty café, admiring the glowing lights and cheerful decorations that the owners had put out for the holiday season. A few sets of what you assumed to be grandparents and their grandchildren were also waiting alongside you, some of the children pressing their faces up against the glass display case as they relayed which pastries and treats they wanted to take home with them.

Today was the first Christmas that you had ever spent alone, and seeing the families happy and smiling together made your heart ache a bit, longing for your childhood when the season still felt magical and joyous.

To say that it had stung when your parents told you they would be travelling to spend the holiday with your brother would be an understatement. It had been unexpected, and they had only given you a little less than a week’s notice, meaning that as you were expected to work both the day before and after Christmas, you didn’t have enough time to make arrangements to go on the trip with them. You knew that your parents missed your brother as he had moved away a couple of years ago, and you understood why they would want to go see him and his wife that he had recently married. But it was hard to get left behind to spend the holiday that’s all about being together and giving to one another alone.

So now, on the afternoon of Christmas, you found yourself standing in a small bakery in Manchester, the very one that your family would always stop by on Christmas Day to get a few smalls treats to take back home after you had opened all of your gifts.

You had spent the morning at home, watching a couple Christmas films to try to put yourself in a festive mood and generally just feeling sorry for yourself. You had tried your best not to just mope about all day, but it proved difficult. By the time the afternoon rolled around, you decided that it just didn’t feel right to not make your annual trip to the bakery, even if it would be by yourself this year. So you had dragged yourself out of bed, put on a nice sweater and some black leggings and styled your hair a bit in the hopes of making yourself feel better, and decided to walk to the bakery in order to get a bit of fresh air.

You were lost in your own thoughts, fantasizing about the sweet taste of the coffee and pastry that would surely be coming your way soon when the bell above the entrance rang out. Your eyes naturally jumped over to the door to see where the noise was coming from, and your stomach sank to your feet when you saw who had stepped in.

It was Mason.

You and Mason had been going out for the last few weeks—not long enough to put an official label on it, but long enough that the two of you had gotten to know each other better and knew that you were both serious about this.

You had no idea what he was doing at the small bakery, but the last thing you wanted was for him to find out how pitiful you were, spending Christmas at home, alone on your couch.

Your hand darted up, scratching the side of your head in an attempt to hide your face from him as he approached the register only 10 feet away from you. Hoping that was enough to make sure he wouldn’t see you, your heart began to race as you realized that the worker would be calling out your name when your order was ready, and there would surely be no escape then.

You were beginning to contemplate the possibility of just leaving without the items you had paid for when his soft voice cut through your thoughts, thwarting any plans you’d had to run.

“Y/N?” he asked sweetly, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “Fancy seeing you here! Happy Christmas!”

You glanced up at him, his eyes bright as you tried to feign surprise at the sight of him.

“Mason, hi!” He drew you into a quick embrace, his scent surrounding you almost immediately. “Happy Christmas!” you mumbled into his chest before he released you.

“W-What are you doing here?” you rushed to ask, hoping to avoid any questions about your holiday celebrations.

“I’m actually on my way back home from training,” he spoke, scratching the back of his neck.

“Training? On Christmas?” you exclaimed. “That’s cruel!”

He laughed shortly, nodding along as he spoke. “I know, but we actually have a match tomorrow, so they couldn’t afford us a day off, unfortunately.” He shrugged, seeming like his cheery mood hadn’t been too phased by the interruption from his job. “But anyway, my family all came to mine for the holidays, and my nieces insisted I bring back a treat for them when I came home. I remembered you had mentioned this place, so I thought I should give it a try.”

Your heart fluttered at his mention of your conversation from a couple weeks ago. You had told him about the tradition in passing on a date when he had asked about how you and your family usually celebrated Christmas, and the fact that he had even remembered that detail meant the world to you.

“Oh, that’s so lovely that they were all still able to come up to celebrate with you,” you smiled at him.

“Yeah, they all arrived yesterday, and we did stockings this morning, but I’m sure my nieces are itching for me to get home so they can open the rest of their presents.”

Your chest felt warm at the way he always spoke about his family—especially his young nieces. Anyone could see from a mile off that he loved them all dearly.

“Are they going to be able to stay long?”

“They’ll be here for a couple of days, actually! Gonna be able to go to the game tomorrow as well, so I’m really excited to be able to have them there.” His grin spread nearly from ear to ear, the crinkles by his eyes becoming more pronounced. “But what about you? I’m assuming you’re here picking up the traditional Christmas pastries?”

Your heart sank, trying to find a way around the fact that you were alone for the holidays. You didn’t want him to pity you or to feel bad for expressing his joy over having his family with him. “Well, actually, I—um—”

“Y/N!” one of the bakery’s employees called out, placing a small to-go cup of coffee and a single, wrapped pastry on the counter. Your head dipped low, you walked over to the counter, picking up your order and quietly thanking the employee before you turned to walk back over to Mason. The look of confusion was unmistakable on his face as he looked at the single pastry in your hands, rather than the bulk order of treats that you had told him about weeks prior.

“My… parents actually went to visit my brother for the holidays,” you spoke quietly, having to force each word of your admission out. “So the order’s just for me today.” You forced a smile onto your face, hoping he wouldn’t see through the façade.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been on your own today,” Mason spoke, and you rushed to assure him that you were fine.

“I mean, yeah, but it’s—”

“Y/N, there’s no use in that. We have plenty of food and space at mine! You should’ve said something!”

“I—what?” His response caught you completely off-guard, not at all what you had expected him to say.

“Come over! We’d love to have you!” A huge smile spread across his face as he spoke to you. “There’s no reason for you to spend the holidays alone.”

“Mason, I couldn’t,” you immediately began trying to track back, but he didn’t seem at all discouraged by your protest. “I wouldn’t want to impose, and—”

“You’re not imposing, I’m inviting you,” he stated, matter-of-factly, as if it was just a simple matter. “My family would love to have you, and my nieces will be overjoyed to have someone new around!”

You were stumbling over your words, unable to fight against his persistence. “But… But I…”

“Look, we don’t have to say anything about us at all,” Mason said, sensing your resolve crumbling bit by bit. “You don’t have to meet my family as the girl that I’m dating, I’ll just introduce you as a friend. It’ll be completely fine.”

You bit your lip as you searched his face for any sign of hesitation. You couldn’t deny that the idea of joining in his family’s festivities did lift your spirits a little bit. The idea of being gathered around a Christmas tree and watching everyone opening gifts, maybe wrapped up in a warm blanket as you shared laughs with the others.

The final nail in the coffin for you was thinking about going back to your dreary apartment with the half-hearted decorations and spending the rest of the day by yourself.

“Please?” Mason pleaded with you one last time, his eyebrows raised as he gave you his best puppy dog eyes to convince you.

“You’re sure no one will mind?”

“I’m positive. My mum would be more upset with me if she found out I knew you were spending Christmas alone and didn’t bring you home.” The grin resumed its place on his lips as soon as you agreed, Mason bouncing slightly on his toes in giddy excitement.

Just at that moment, a voice rang out, calling Mason’s name, signaling that his order was ready to go. He quickly moved to the counter, scooping up the rather large box of pastries and holding it in one hand while he grabbed yours with the other and nearly dragged you out of the door of the bakery. You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from your lips at his almost child-like glee at your agreement to join his family for the rest of their Christmas celebrations.

“Alright, you want to just follow me there?” he asked as the two of you strode into the parking lot. You had been to his place once before for a movie night, but he wanted to be certain you got there safely and didn’t lose your way.

“I actually walked here from my apartment, so would you mind if I just rode with you?” you asked sheepishly.

“Of course, love.” The pet name slipped out without him even thinking about it as he led you to the passenger side of his car, opening the door for you. Testing his luck a bit, Mason pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head as you stepped past him to get into the car, and you felt the heat rushing into your cheeks as he closed the door behind you.

He popped in the driver’s seat, starting the engine and turning the radio onto some station playing nonstop Christmas music, and the two of you were off, heading in the direction of his home.

You were thankful that his house was a little while away as it gave you time to collect yourself before walking into a room full of Mason’s closest family members. You thanked your lucky stars that you had gotten to urge to dress at least a little bit nice before leaving your apartment that morning so that you’d be presentable for meeting them.

After all, even if he introduced you to them as his friend this time around, if things with Mason went the way you hoped they would, you’d be seeing them many times again in the future, and you wanted to make a good first impression. 

The drive to his house was comfortable. The moments of silence were peaceful and never tense. The two of you caught up a bit since you hadn’t seen each other for a few days, and you tried your best not to think too hard about the nerve-wracking evening ahead of you. Mason kept glancing over at your bouncing knee—he could tell that you were nervous, and you could tell that he was fighting the urge to hold your hand.

So, in a moment of bravery, you reached over, bringing his free hand into your lap and intertwining your fingers. You couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered at the slight blush that crept up his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose as he began stroking his thumb across your knuckles, back and forth in a soothing motion.

Sooner than you were prepared for, Mason turned into the long driveway that wound back to his house, and you swallowed a nervous lump as his house came into view.

“You’re sure this is okay?” you asked as he put the car in park and turned off the engine, still somewhat nervous about intruding on their family holiday.

“Y/N, it’s fine,” Mason held your face in both of his hands for a moment, trying to reassure you to the best of his ability. “My mum loves hosting new people, so she’s gonna be super excited when I bring you in there!”

Something about the way he said that made your ears perk up. “Wait, Mason—Mason!” you exclaimed as he quickly got out of the driver’s seat. You threw open your door, leaping to your feet despite the fact that Mason was on his way around to your side to open the door for you. “Did you not at least text them to let them know I was coming with you?” you asked, exasperated.

Mason shrugged as if he didn’t see what the big deal was, shaking his head ‘no.’

“Mason! I can’t just—”

He cut you off by pressing his finger to your lips, gently shushing you. “Hey, trust me,” he looked intensely into your eyes. “It’s okay,” he said slowly.

Your shoulders slumped slightly, resigning yourself to him as you whispered a soft “okay.”

He tapped the tip of your nose and a quiet giggle escaped from your lips. You hated and loved how this boy could turn you into complete mush in mere moments. It made you feel so giddy but also so vulnerable at the same time, and it was a feeling you were still getting used to.

He held onto the car door, letting you step out from behind it before closing it and gestured for you to head toward his front door once he had retrieved the box of pastries from his back seat. He reassured you of his presence just behind you with his hand placed gently on the small of your back.

You hesitated at the front door, letting out a shuddery breath.

“Hey, it’s no biggie. Don’t freak yourself out, okay?” Mason spoke as if he had been able to read your mind, sneaking one final kiss to your forehead before stepping toward the door and reaching for the doorknob. Even though you hadn’t been seeing each other for very long, you noticed how Mason couldn’t seem to help himself from those small touches—the little gestures of reassurance like the forehead kisses, a hand on your back, and gentle touch on your knee—and it kind of surprised you how much they settled you, as you had never been big on copious amounts of physical touch in your past relationships.

Mason stepped through the doorway into his home, and you followed behind him, doing your best to still your racing heart.

It was only seconds after the sound of the door opening could be heard within the house that you hear the sound of tiny feet slapping on the floor, heading in your direction. Moments later, two little girls rounded the corner and came bolting toward you and Mason as he closed the door behind the two of you, the air filled with their squeals and giggles.

“Uncle Masey! Uncle Masey!” they screamed, wrapping their arms around each of his legs. Mason immediately matched their energy, clearly just as excited to be coming home to them as he squeezed them close to his body with his free hand. You took the box of pastries from him so that he could bend down, scooping them both up in his arms and pressing kisses all over their faces. The girls giggled and screamed as he told them how much he had missed them between kisses.

Mason finally pulled back after one final, dramatic kiss that had the older of the two wiping at her cheek and she laughed at him. If you had thought the way Mason spoke about his nieces was sweet, it was nothing compared to the way he acted around them.

“Summer, Mila, this is Y/N,” Mason spoke once the girls’ giggles had quieted.

“Is she your wife?” the older girl asked, and your mouth dropped open in shock.

Mason, clearly amused by her question, threw his head back and laughed. “No, Summer. Y/N is just my friend.”

“Oh, okay,” Summer shrugged, quickly moving on from the conversation, wiggling so that Mason would set her back on the floor. Immediately she took off, running out of sight and Mason followed behind her with Mila still in his arms.

Voices could be heard coming from the kitchen, and you remained just behind Mason as you followed him, hoping that his body would shield you from the rest of his family.

When you found the others, you first saw Summer crawling up into one of the tall chairs at the kitchen bar, surrounded by numerous others. Perfectly-shaped gingerbread cookies lined the countertop, placed on sheets of wax paper, and bags of differently-colored icing were strewn around the countertop, along with various shapes and sizes of sprinkles. Cheerful Christmas music was ringing out through the room, and a warm feeling spread through your chest at the sight of it all.

Several of Mason’s family members greeted him as soon as the three of you entered the spacious kitchen, happy to see him back home from training.

Mason wasted no time in bringing you around to his side with a gentle hand between your shoulders before he let his hand fall to his side, not wanting to make you feel self-conscious in front of his family.

“Guys, this is my friend, Y/N,” Mason smiled at you reassuringly. “She’s gonna be joining us for the rest of the day.”

His introduction irked you slightly, wanting to give more of an explanation for why you were crashing their holiday when Summer piped up from where she was very focused on decorating her gingerbread man. “And she’s not Uncle Masey’s wife.”

A chorus of laughs rang through the room, and you felt your cheeks heat up, forcing a laugh to try to play off the fact that you felt like you were about to pee your pants.

A woman who you could only assume was Mason’s mother wiped her hands off on a dish towel, walking in your direction with open arms.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to meet you, Y/N! I’m Debbie—Mason’s mum,” she spoke, confirming your guess. Mason quickly snatched the box of pastries from you so your hands were free and Debbie pulled you into a tight embrace—it was one of those hugs where you felt every muscle in your body relax a bit, and immediately you felt a little bit more settled in the unfamiliar environment.

“Thank you so much for having me.” You felt a bit silly, thanking her for being willing to do something she hadn’t even really agreed to in the first place.

“No, no, it’s nothing!” Debbie pulled back from the hug, waving her hand at you before she led you further into the kitchen, beginning to introduce you to everyone.  You met Mason’s father, Tony, who had greeted you with the same warm embrace that Debbie had, and then she introduced you to Mason’s brother, Lewis, and his sister Jaz and her husband before repeating the young girls’ names to you. Everyone had greeted you cheerfully, not even blinking an eye at the fact that Mason had brought a stranger home to join their Christmas celebration.

It wasn’t long before Debbie had you set up with your own sheet of wax paper and a cookie to decorate. You caught Mason’s eye, a sweet smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye that said I told you so.

You were surprised at how easy it was to settle in with Mason’s family. You had never been someone that was good at meeting new people, and it typically took you a while to warm up to them. But Mason’s family wasted no time in treating you as one of their own, and it almost felt natural to be there with them within minutes.

Playful banter was exchanged, Summer and Mila were shouting for everyone to look at their sprinkle-covered cookies, and everyone was laughing. Mason settled into his spot next to you, nudging you gently with his shoulder.

Mason’s family asked a little bit about yourself, but they kept the questions light, and you were thankful that they didn’t try to dig into why Mason had brought you home.

Once all the cookies had been decorated, the girls began shouting that it was time to open presents and Jaz had to wrestle them into wiping their hands and faces clean of icing before they took off, sprinting in the direction of the living room.

Once everyone had settled in the living room, some on the couch, some sitting on the floor, Tony donned a large Santa hat and beard before he began to distribute the gifts that were under and around the tree. You had kicked your shoes off by the door and tucked your legs up under you as you settled into the cushions next to Mason, a respectable amount of space still between you as you still didn’t really know how to handle yourselves around his family.

Each person opened their presents as Tony handed them out, one by one, and everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed as each gift was uncovered. Debbie and Jaz were taking lots of photos of everyone as they tore into their gifts. Your heart swelled at the thoughtful gifts that were exchanged. It became quickly apparent that remembering small details about the things people said was something that Mason had gotten from his family.

Mason kept silently checking in on you, glancing over to make sure you doing okay. You could feel his gaze on the side of your face, glancing over and making eye contact with him before shooting him an assuring smile.

By the time all of the presents were open and the wrapping paper and ribbons had been collected and put into trash bags, it was nearing dinner time and Debbie disappeared back into the kitchen to put the finishing touches on the food. You sprang to your feet, naturally wanting to help her as a thank you for having you as a guest (despite her insistence that you didn’t need to), and Jaz joined the two of you soon after.

Conversation flowed naturally between the three of you, and you felt completely at ease talking with them as you worked to finish the finals bits of the Christmas dinner, most of it having been prepared before and very little needing to be done to finish it.

The fated question finally came up as the three of you were carrying everything to the table.

“So, Y/N, I don’t mean to pry, but I’ve got to ask.” Your heart leapt immediately at Debbie’s words. “Are you and Mason only friends, or is there something more going on there?”

You pondered for a moment how to answer her question. At the beginning of the day, you would never have dreamed of admitting the nature of your relationship with Mason to his mother. But now, after the time you had spent with him, you settled on telling her the truth. You knew you were serious about the budding relationship between the two of you, and you knew he was, too. Though you hadn’t officially put any labels on it, having decided to take things slow, you had started being more open about it with your circle of friends.

“Well, I… we’ve… gone on a few dates,” you started, and a pleased smile took over Debbie’s face. “We’re taking things slow, but he’s been an absolute gentleman and he’s been nothing short of amazing to me.”

Debbie beamed with pride at your words. “Well, I didn’t raise him to be anything less than that, so I’m glad to hear it.”

“We haven’t been going out for very long, and I really wasn’t planning on crashing your family’s Christmas today,” you felt the need to explain yourself, now that you were putting all of your cards on the table. “My family… they actually are out of town visiting my brother this holiday season, and I happened to run into Mason at the bakery this afternoon. As soon as he found out I was spending Christmas on my own, he insisted I come back here with him, and he was not taking no for an answer,” you chuckled at the recent memory.

“Oh, love,” Debbie’s face held a slight pout as she instantly read the sadness that you tried to hide over not spending the holiday with your family. She pulled you into another of her amazing hugs, placing a quick kiss on your cheek as she drew away. “Well I speak for everyone when I say we’ve loved having you here with us.”

Your mind flashed back to how unphased everyone had been by your arrival. “Does Mason do this a lot? Picking up strays for the holidays?” you tried to play off your question with a laugh, momentarily wondering if you were just another girl on a long list.

Debbie shook her head. “No, he’s never done anything like this before. And he’s certainly never brought a girl home for something like this,” she spoke, calming your nerves. You had felt a bit silly for asking in the first place, but her words soothed your fleeting insecurities. “But hopefully we can look forward to having you at many Christmases in the future,” she beamed, patting your cheek before she wandered back into the kitchen and refraining from prying any further.

You blew out a long breath that you didn’t even realize you had been holding, trying to wrap your head around the conversation you had just had—with a woman you had only met a few hours ago. And it wasn’t just some normal thing for Mason to bring girls home during the holidays, but everyone had just been that welcoming to you, despite showing up without warning. Your chest felt full, swelling with love for Mason and his family.

Debbie called the others to the table to eat, and you wandered in the direction of the living room, hoping to catch Mason for a moment before you joined the others. The rest of his family filtered out of the room, leaving you and Mason alone for the first time in the last few hours.

“You doing okay?” Mason asked, and you wordlessly wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest and holding onto him tighter than you ever had before. Caught a bit off-guard by the affection, Mason wrapped his arms gently around your body, running his fingers up and down your spine.

His heart sank when you pulled your head back to look at him, arms still wrapped around his torso, and he saw the tears welling in your eyes.

“What happened, love?! Did someone say something—”

“Thank you,” you whispered, your lower lip trembling.

“For what, love?” Mason cradled your cheek in one of his hands, swiping his thumb under your eye to wipe away a tear. You noticed that he used the pet name more frequently when he was concerned.

“For bringing me here. For introducing me to your family. They’re amazing, Mason.”

A look of relief and adoration washed over Mason’s face and he smiled at you, leaning down to press his forehead to yours. “I’m so glad you came.”

“Me, too,” you let your eyes slip closed, allowing yourself to take a moment to yourselves and let your heart settle a bit.

“You know your mom asked me about us?” you broke the silence after a few seconds.

“Yeah?” he pulled back to look at your face, trying to gauge your reaction. “And what did you tell her?”

“The truth,” you gently shrugged your shoulders. “That we’ve gone out a few times and we’re taking things pretty slow, but that I think I’ll probably keep you around.”

“Yeah?” he grinned, and you nodded in response.

“Come on, we should probably head in there before Summer comes looking,” you pulled back, wiping away any stray tears with the sleeve of your sweater, hoping that no one would be able to tell how emotional you had just gotten.

The two of you joined the others at the table, taking your place between Mason and Summer after she had insisted you sit beside her, much to Mason’s fake offense. The food was incredible, as it had been a while since you’d had a big home-cooked meal like this, and you were sure to let Debbie know how much you enjoyed it. When everyone’s plates were empty, everyone took part in the freshly-decorated cookies and Mason and Lewis cleared the dishes, being sure to push you, Debbie, and Jaz toward the living room before any of you tried to help.

You were just returning from a quick trip to the bathroom when the boys walked back in from the kitchen, and you noticed everyone settling back down on the couch.

“We always watch a Christmas film after dinner, but I can take you home if you’re ready to leave,” Mason explained to you.

You thought over the offer for a moment, deciding you weren’t really ready to part from Mason and his family just yet.

“I mean… I wouldn’t mind sticking around a little while longer—unless you guys were wanting it to be just a family thing,” you rushed to add, not wanting to overstay your welcome.

Your words were met with immediate protest from the rest of Mason’s family, each of them insisting that you stay, and Mason smiled down at you. “Yeah, what they said.”

You giggled, letting him lead you around to sit next to him on the couch, allowing yourself to sit a bit closer to him than you had earlier that afternoon.

Tony even offered for you to pick the film, but as soon as Summer had shouted her desire to watch Elf, you were all agreed.

Mason threw a fluffy blanket over both of your legs as the movie’s opening scene played. “Is this okay?” he whispered, trying not to draw anyone else’s attention and you nodded in return.

You tucked your legs under your body, allowing your knee to rest slightly on his thigh and your shoulder to lean onto his, now feeling more comfortable showing some affection around Mason’s family.

The movie played on, and your heart soared listening to Summer and Mila giggle and clap their hands at their favorite bits. You felt at home there with Mason and his family, all cozied up in his living room on the night of Christmas as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Your heart swelled with the love that you already felt for all of them, and though you knew it was still a bit soon, you couldn’t wait to get to know them and get to spend more time with them as your relationship with Mason developed.

As comfortable as you were and with all of the lights in the house turned off for the movie, you didn’t even realize your eyes were slipping closed until you jolted awake, recognizing the scene on the TV as one that was near to the end of the movie. Mason must have felt the sudden movement from where your head was resting on his shoulder, and he took your hand in his, running his thumbs over your knuckles to calm you, the same way he had done in the car earlier that day.

You nestled your head further into his shoulder, savoring the last few moments you had with Mason and his family before the movie ended.

It was over sooner than you would have liked, and everyone sat up from where they had sunk into the couch cushions, stretching and yawning. It was clear that everyone was exhausted from the day’s festivities. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, noticing Jaz and her husband quietly scooping up the girls from where they, too, had fallen asleep, and carried them down the hallway, seemingly to put them to bed.

“You ready to go home?” Mason asked you quietly as everyone began to rise from the couch. You nodded. “Okay, let me go grab my keys and we can head out.”

“Oh, Mason, I can just call an Uber or something, I don’t want to take you away from your family—”

“Absolutely not,” he cut you off. “You think I’m gonna let some stranger come pick you up and drive your back to your apartment?” You grinned at him, unable to find the words to answer him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” His voice held an air of playful sarcasm.

Slowly, the two of you made your way to the front entrance. Everyone bade you goodbye as you made to leave. Debbie was sure to get a couple more hugs in before you left, insisting that you come around the next time they were up to visit, and you promised that you would.

Before long, you found yourself sitting in Mason’s car once again as he backed out into the street and set out on the route to your apartment. You were leaning across the center console of his car, leaning your head on his shoulder, and holding his free hand in yours.

You were feeling especially affectionate after the day you had, full of love for him and his family. The drive was silent as you listened to the music softly playing from his radio, no words needed to communicate to each other how you were feeling.

Before long, Mason pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex and insisted upon walking you up to your door, like the gentleman he always was.

As you reached your door, you turned to face him, giggling at the cliché of it all as you wrapped your arms around his torso. He pulled you in close to him, holding you tightly as he beamed down at you.

“Was your Christmas okay, then? Even though you didn’t get to spend it the way you usually do?”

“Mason, it was wonderful,” you smiled up at him, feeling like there were no words that would do justice for how the day had made you feel. “It was better than I ever could have imagined. Thank you for bringing me home with you today. I was honestly feeling awful after spending the morning by myself and this was the best Christmas miracle I could’ve ever dreamed up.”

Mason squeezed you a little tighter, pleased that his impulsive decision at the bakery to invite you to his home had worked out. “I’m so glad you were there. I’m so glad you got to meet them.”

“I am, too. And I’m glad I got to share this day with you.” Your heart felt like it was overflowing, and you could barely hold yourself together.

You snaked one of your hands around the back of Mason’s neck, threading your fingers into his hair and pulling him down to join your lips in a long but gentle kiss. It was the first one you had shared all day, as Mason had been waiting for you to initiate it first, but you couldn’t refrain from indulging yourself any longer. This was surely your favorite kiss that the two of you had shared, even more so than your first. It was so full of unspoken passion and love, and it left your head spinning when you finally pulled apart for air, foreheads still pressed together.

Mason couldn’t help but press two more quick pecks on your lips before finally pulling back to look at you. The two of you just smiled at each other for a moment, and you studied Mason’s features as you stood there.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Mason whispered, breaking the silence.

“Goodnight, Mason,” you replied. “Thank you for everything today.” Mason’s only response was a firm kiss on your forehead before he unwound his arms from your body, taking a couple of steps backward as he began heading back to his car.

You watched him walk down the hallway, glancing back at you with a wave before he rounded the corner, and you entered your apartment.

Closing your eyes and leaning against the closed door, you smiled to yourself. You may not have known Mason for long, but already, you were certain that this boy meant the absolute world to you, and his family had found their place securely in your heart.

tag list: @landoslover @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16 @swimmingismywholelife @masonsrem @brasiliangp @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti @chilwellspulisic @mm-vii @captainpulisic

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount fic #footballer fic #footballer imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount one shot #mason mount blurb

[frenchkisstheabyss]

✦ love poem ✦

✦ Pairing: dad!choi san x pregnant!chubby!fem!reader w/ appearances by ot8

✦ Genre: fluff/light angst

✦ Summary: Being pregnant during the holidays has been hectic. Especially for your fiance San whose tight work schedule has him under pressure. But when his best friend Hwa steps in to ease the burden on him by being there for you, it creates more jealousy than Christmas cheer.

✦ Word Count: 3.5k-ish

✦ Warnings: pregnant reader, occasionally strong language, some quick lusting after San while he's in the shower (nothing graphic), & that's all.

✦ A/N: I really wanted to write something sweet with like the tiniest bit of angst so there's nothing heavy here. It's mostly just lovey dovey shit cause, I mean, I'm a lover girl. What can I say?

Standing at the entrance of the tunnel of lights, you watch in awe as thousands of tiny bulbs twinkle to the tune of the Christmas music that coasts along the night air. Every year the local zoo holds a massive festival of lights to celebrate the holiday season. During your first year here San had plans to take you to opening night but, with his schedule being as unpredictable as it is, that never did happen. This year though, he promised that nothing would stop you from experiencing this together and he meant it.

As much as San and the rest of the boys hyped this place up to you, nothing could’ve prepared you for how breathtaking it is in person. It’s magical. The carnival rides, the little Christmas themed games, the stalls selling some of the best food you ever tasted. And the displays. They’re pure art. It may be too cold for the animals to be out but the elaborate light sculptures of them make up for it tenfold. Children race through the light tunnels while couples cuddle up in line for hot cocoa. If ever “Winter Wonderland” were a place this would have to be it.

“Stop running!” Hongjoong yells from behind you. Seconds later Mingi and Jongho dart past you in a blur. You turn in time to see the look of defeat on Hongjoong’s face as he approaches with the others close behind. “I swear sometimes they act like children,” he groans, “Take it from me. Don’t have kids. It’s not worth it.” Popping on a pair of knit gloves, Yunho gestures towards the pregnant belly rounding out your thick winter coat. “I think that advice is about 7 months too late.”

Hongjoong gasps in horror, “Oh. I mean, you know, except that one. I’m sure it’ll be a cute little thing.” You can only giggle at how flustered any mention of your pregnancy gets him. Hongjoong hasn’t quite grasped that San’s about to be someone’s dad. Even as your belly has grown, he’s managed to periodically forget what’s happening but he’s trying to be supportive and it’s sweet. Seonghwa pats you softly on the belly, laying his head on your shoulder, “Pay him no mind. She’ll be a cute little baby. Not a thing. I mean, look at her mom”

"Oh, Hwa, you’re too sweet” you blush, patting him on the cheek. “The baby! I think it kicked!” He’s right. You felt it. It’s about that time of night after all. The moment she could start kicking she did. Especially around bedtime. Suddenly they’re all gathered close around you staring at your stomach as if the baby will burst out at this very moment like some alien spawn. Woo kneels down in front of you, resting his hand behind Hwa’s. “Aah!” he squeals, “She’s saying hi to her uncles. Hi, baby!”

By now Mingi and Jongho have circled back, stopping dead in their tracks to see what all the fuss is about. “What’s going on?” Jongho asks, Mingi’s hat clenched in his hand. Mingi snatches his hat back, peering over Jongho’s shoulder, “It’s not happening is it?” Seeing the panic in his eyes, you immediately jump to calm him down, “Not yet. She’s kicking up a fuss. That’s all.” “So much like her dad already” Yeosang teases, just as San appears to push them aside. “Hands off!” he orders, shooing them away, “I go to the bathroom for two seconds and you’re already crowding my kid.”

The others just laugh, not expecting to witness such a perfect example of Yeosang’s statement so soon. “You okay? Everything okay?” he asks, fixing the scarf around your next and popping your hood over your head. “Baby, it’s not that cold.” “Temperature’s supposed to drop 5 degrees in the next half hour. Gotta stay toasty, honey.” San’s always been attentive, doing everything he could to make sure you were taken care of but the pregnancy has kicked it into overdrive.

Taking his hands, you give him a warm peck on the lips and flash a smile that soothes his worries. “I’m okay, Sannie. I promise. Now let’s go.” The tunnel’s far more mesmerizing from the inside than it is simply looking in. It feels like a portal to a different world, replacing the darkness of the night sky with constellations of red and green that guide you to the next section of the zoo. Each area has one unique to the space you’re about to step into.

A tunnel of mistletoe and vines for the flower garden. One built like a giant sleigh for the reindeer village. And that’s not even half of it. How anyone can make it through this place in one night is beyond you. Then again, not everyone is toting another human around in their belly. By the time you make it through the ice tunnel into the replica North Pole, your feet are killing you but you try to hold it together.

Between doctor’s appointments, work, redecorating the apartment, and a million other things that need to be done before the baby arrives, there’s been zero time to do anything fun. Calling it quits this early feels wrong. Especially since San's been so stressed lately. Spending time with the guys seems to be just the thing he needed to shake some of that off.

“How many more lights do we have to see before we’ve seen enough?” Mingi whines, dragging his feet. Alright, so maybe someone else is as over it as you are. Yunho slaps Mingi on the back, taking a deep breath, “Have some holiday cheer! We’re in such a beautiful place. Where else would you rather be?” “Somewhere warm! With food!” Woo adds, backing Mingi up. Jongho jumps it, never one to miss the opportunity, “And drinks! When’s the last time we all had drinks together?”

Hongjoong crosses his arms, throwing them some wicked side eye, until he realizes, “Actually it has been a while since we went out for drinks.” Woo wraps his arms around Yeosang, determined to rope him into this plan, “You in? Say yes. Say yes!” “Yeah, sure fine, whatever” Yeosang laughs, shrugging him off. Hwa clears his throat, preparing to be the bearer of bad news, “Well it’s not just us you guys. There’s kinda a 10th person here now.”

For a fleeting moment, you were able to detect some excitement on San’s face and Hwa’s words wipe it away in an instant. Everyone falls silent, not quite sure what to do with the awkwardness of the moment. “Hey,” you say, lovingly rubbing San’s chest, “Why don’t you go get those drinks?” “What? No. I’m not leaving you. We said we’d do this.” “We did and I’ve had the best time but, honestly, my feet hurt like shit.” “Then I’ll take you home and run some water so you can soak your feet” San insists, guiding you out of the way of an approaching crowd.

“San, please, for the love of god, go” you beg, looking to his friends for support. “I’ll take her home!” Hwa volunteers, “I’m not really up for drinking anyway.” San glares skeptically back and forth between the two of you. He wants to protest but he gets the sense that arguing with you is a losing battle and he’s right. “Fine” he relents, “But text me when you get home. Love you.” The way you light up when he finally gives in is one of the infinite reasons why he loves you the way that he does. “I will. Love you too.” “Love you three!” “Love you four!” you say, kissing him before Jongho begins to drag him in the other direction. “We’re not doing this all night! Let’s go!”

Parting ways is a sea of goodbyes and bickering that continues until you lose sight of the rest of the group. Hooking his arm into yours, Hwa directs you towards a festive snack stand not too far away. “Wanna eat like trash before we go home?” he offers with a mischievous grin, knowing San would murder him if he knew. You nod, playfully tearing up, “I thought you’d never ask.” 

“Baby, have you seen my keys?” you shout from the bedroom, digging through your purse for the third time. “Huh?” San calls back, the water rushing from the shower making it impossible to hear you. Shuffling down the hall, you pop your head into the bathroom. “I was asking if you’d seen my keys.” San peeks from behind the shower curtain, shampoo bubbles dripping down his sculpted cheekbones. In an instant, you forget all about your keys. What else could possibly matter when San’s standing here dripping wet, every muscle in his defined chest glistening like gold. Snap out of it. This is how you got pregnant in the first place. 

“I saw them by the stove I think.” “Thanks, ya cutie” you wink, ready to skip off to find them. “Wait,” he says before you can make it more than a step and a half away, “You’re all dressed up. Where are you going?” Scanning your outfit, you don’t see anything particularly “dressed up” about what you’re wearing. Some knit overalls with a cozy sweater underneath and your favorite boots are far from red carpet ready in your mind. “Hwa’s taking me shopping for decorations. Don’t you remember?” San frowns, only vaguely remembering the conversation, “Why didn’t you ask me?” “I did but you said you were busy today so Hwa offered to take me.” 

Your phone dings in your pocket. You fish it out and find a text message from Hwa telling you he’s outside. “Ooh, speak of the devil. Gotta run.” Carefully, you make your way across the bathroom floor, giving him a kiss that you struggle to keep innocent with the knowledge of what’s behind the curtain. “Have fun and tell Joong I said hi! I’ll bring you back something!” you sing and you’re off to find your keys. San’s frozen in place, unable to bring himself to move an inch. Even after he’s heard the apartment door close, it takes him a second to get back to his shower.

It’s been two weeks since the light festival and you’ve seen Hwa every few days since. Every time San’s too busy to do something Hwa’s right there to help. When did he become so available? You always come home so happy too. Were you that happy with him? Letting the water wash over his head, he tries to shake away his jealous thoughts.

You moved here to be with him and, in that time, the only friends you’d made were his. Hwa’s just being a good friend to the both of you, helping when San’s unable to. Thinking that it's anything else is ridiculous. All of the long hours spent working must be getting to him. Hwa would never...

You would never...

Neither of you would...

Right? Right? 

Pregnancy hormones. They’re the one thing no one can ever quite prepare you for. One minute you’re hanging ornaments on the tree, humming along to your music in a cozy pair of pajamas. The next you’re crying on the kitchen floor, stuffing your mouth with the cookies you baked for the holiday party tomorrow.

It’s nearly midnight and everything makes you emotional. The lights on the tree are too bright, your feet feel swollen, the cookies aren’t as sweet as you'd like, and suddenly you can’t stand the song that’s playing despite it being one of your favorites. You want everything off but then the house would be quiet and empty. You’d be reminded that you’re all alone until San comes home tomorrow and cry even harder.

You pull out your phone to call him but when you see the time you decide not to. His flight is in a few hours and he’s already told you what a long day he had. You’d hate to wake him up, to burden him any more than you feel you already have.  Just as you’re about to put your phone down it lights up. A text from Seonghwa. Some adorable video of a cat dressed up as one of Santa’s elves.

The poor thing looks miserable running around in that costume but it makes you laugh enough to stop you from spiraling. Taking a deep breath, you wipe away the tears blurring your vision and shoot a text back. 

You: Thanks. I really needed that.

Hwa: Why? Something wrong?

You: I’m having a crying thing. Kinda sad tonight.

Hwa: Need some company?

Without thinking, you type out the words “You don’t have to—” before erasing them and typing out something new. "Sure!"

It takes him no time at all to reach you. The streets are empty this time of night and he only lives a half hour away. Even if he lived two hours away—three hours away—he’d drive every single one of them to come support you. When you became someone special to San, you became someone special to him too. He’s never seen San more serious about anything than he's been about you and this baby. As much as he wishes that San would get out of his head a bit more, it’s cute to see him love something so much. 

“Anybody home?” Hwa whispers, his eyes narrowing when he notices that your front door is cracked. “Come in” you sob from the couch, blowing your nose for what feels like the 1000th time since you sent that last text. Hwa follows a trail of discarded tissues to find you curled up on the couch, as curled as you can be this far along in your pregnancy. “Hey, hey, don’t cry” he coos, easing himself down onto the couch and resting your head in his lap, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You try to speak but you’re too short of breath to get anything out. Hwa strokes your hair, taking slow breaths in and out, “Follow me, okay? In and out.” You shake your head in protest. The whole room is closing in around you. You can’t do it. “Just try it. For me. Please” he begs so sweetly that you can’t refuse. Deep breath in, long breath out. The same way that they taught you in those birthing classes you went to. “This is total bullshit” you’d whispered to San at one point during the class but it turns out it isn’t bullshit at all. 

After a few seconds, the tightness in your chest eases and the room begins to open up. The world isn’t falling apart anymore. You’re safe. Hwa sits with you in silence as your breathing quiets, dabbing away any rogue tears that drip down your cheeks. “Is San happy with me?” you ask, catching him off guard, “Is this too much for him, do you think?” Hwa laughs, knowing how extremely far from the truth both of those questions are. “Hwa, it’s not funny! I’m serious!” “I’m sorry! I’m not trying to make fun of you, it’s just—if you make him happy or not, that’s not a question. He’s crazy about you.”

Grabbing the small blanket folded over the back of the couch, he opens it up and tucks you in with it. “None of this is too much,” he swears, “You and her…” Hwa pokes your belly, making you giggle. “You guys are everything he’s ever wanted. He pushes himself so much because he wants to be perfect for you.” You yawn, Hwa’s presence and the warm blanket activating the exhaustion you’ve been fighting. “But he’s already perfect to me. Why can’t he see that?” “Mmm, it’s really hard sometimes to see ourselves the way other people do but he’ll come around. I promise.”

If there’s one similarity you’ve come to find between San and Hwa it’s how important promises are to them. If Hwa says he’ll come around then he will. They’d been friends for ages before you came into the picture. They’ve gone through more together than you can imagine. If Hwa's confident about it, then you have to believe it too. You drift off to sleep, your brain still spinning but much quieter now, trusting that everything will be just fine.

Right? Right? 

“Listen to yourself. You sound crazy!” Hwa snaps, trying his hardest not to raise his voice in the midst of his anger. San tosses his bags to the floor and they hit with a thud that shakes you from your sleep. “I come home to you cuddled up on the couch with her and I’m crazy?” “She texted me last night that she was crying. What was I supposed to do?” “Tell me! And let me take care of her! She’s not yours so stop treating her like she is!”

San’s jaw clenches, the jealousy he’s been harboring turning into true pain for the first time. He thought he had this under control. Those hours of talking with Woo about how stupid his suspicions were had chased off his insecurities. But coming in, tired and cranky from his flight, to see you so peacefully cuddled against Hwa had undone all of it. He wanted to kill him and the knowledge that he was the first one you reached for when you were hurting only adds fuel to the fire currently burning his self control to ash.

“Sannie?” you squeak, stretching out your cramped limbs, “What’s going on?” You sit up, eyes still squinted, to see what all of the fuss is about. Hwa hangs his head, unable to face you, “I think I should go. If you need me I’m here for both of you.” “Wait, no!” you say, doing your best to roll off of the couch and stop him but by the time you’re on your feet he’s gone. Turning your attention to San, you immediately sense his anger. Something happened and whatever it was has him fuming.

“Baby, what happened? You can talk to—” “Is there something going on between you two?” “What?” you laugh, placing your hands on your lower back for support. You keep laughing but the sharpness of his expression never changes. He’s actually waiting for an answer. “Oh god, you’re serious. You’re actually asking me if I’m fucking Seonghwa.” “I didn’t say that.” “But that’s what you’re saying. That’s what you think of me.”

You catch yourself wanting to cry again, only this time it isn’t because of the pregnancy hormones. It’s because you waited for days to see the man you love only to be accused of something like this. San can almost see the moment your heart breaks, making him regret his doubts in an instant. “He’s been helping me because I was worried about you burning yourself out. That’s it. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Your bottom lip quivers and the tears are rushing from your eyes again. “Fuck, I’m so tired of crying” you huff, flopping back down onto the couch. 

San’s at your side quicker than he’s ever been, his arms wrapped around you like he never wants to let go. “I’m sorry! Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean it. I know you’d never do that.” “Then why were you two arguing? Why even ask me?” “Because I’m afraid” he admits, leaving you both shocked at his admission. He’s scared, terrified, so much that it keeps him up at night. “I’m afraid I’m not good enough to be what you need me to be and it was easier to be jealous than to admit that.”

You’re frustrated enough that you could slap him but your body feels so at home in his embrace that you can’t pull away. “You’re good enough for me…for us, San. You have to believe me when I say that.” “Then why do you call him when you’re crying and not me?” “Because,” you sigh, “I’m afraid too. I don’t want to lean on you too much.” “What? Lean on me too much?” he asks, almost offended, “Lean on me all you want. What do you think I work out for?”

You giggle when you feel his muscles flex against you, “San, be serious!” “I am! Lean on me, please. We’re a team. I need you to trust me to be here.” You stare at him, your eyes beautiful enough to hypnotize him even when they’re clouded with tears. “You have to trust me to be here too, you know?” San kisses your forehead, one hand gently massaging your back, “I trust you, baby.” Closing your eyes a tingly feeling washes over you. Is it love? The Christmas spirit? The tingling is chased by a contraction stronger than any period cramp you’ve ever felt.

“The baby’s coming!” you shout, gripping your stomach. San jumps back in shock as if he didn’t know you were pregnant to begin with. “Are you sure?” “You said you trust me!” “I do! I do! Hold on!” Leaning you back on the couch, San darts around the apartment collecting all of the things he’s prepared over the last few months to make you comfortable when this happens. A bag packed with clothes for you and your favorite slippers. Phone chargers, baby wipes, stuffed animals, the snacks you love. The list is endless.

“I’ll pull the car up and come back for you, okay?” he says, propping your feet up on the coffee table as he tries to put your coat on. “Just get the car. I’m okay.” “You sure?” “I’m sure and San,” you say, grabbing his arm. “Yeah?” “You’re gonna be a great dad. The best ever.” San can’t fight the smile that spreads across his face or the slight reddening of his cheeks. You believe in him, you truly do, and for the first time, he does too.

#ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez x chubby reader #ateez x female reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #choi san x reader #choi san fluff #choi san angst #choi san x you #chubby reader #plus size reader

[pandorafairy]

"You're Mine"

Neteyam x Reader (Metkayina)

Takes place 5 years after AWOW (Neteyam is 20)

Synopsis: When Neteyam invites you to a celebration but doesn't acknowledge you: you decide to make him jealous. But you quickly find out that two can play that game.

Contains: ANGST, jealousy, slight smut

*pretend the GIF is of palm trees

You stand on the outskirts of the celebration, your wide tail flicking back and forth as you observe. The whole clan has gathered on the beach to celebrate the successful return of the hunting party. Normally you avoid these festivals but you promised Neteyam you’d come. Tonowari, the chief, stands beside a large fire, his hand clasping Jake’s as they raise up their arms. The clan erupts into cheers. Neteyam and Lo’ak stand behind their dad, the two of them laughing about something.

People begin dancing around the fire as drums beat loudly. Others sit in the sand to talk and eat. Laughter and boisterous noise cracks through the air making you want to dive into the water and swim off on an ilu. But you were still waiting for Neteyam to say hello. 

Jake, Lo’ak, and him share a drink and talk animatedly about something. You fight the urge to roll your eyes and force yourself to look away. You have no right to be mad, you tell yourself. Maybe he just invited you so you would be a part of the celebration, instead of hiding out in your pod or going for a swim. Neteyam always noticed how you avoided most people and kept to yourself. 

When he first arrived, years ago, you had taught him your clan’s ways. Now, he and his family are full Metkayina. You had gone from teaching him to befriending him. It had been a slow process compared to his friendships with Ao’nung and Tsireya. Neteyam is always talking, sharing, and ready to tell a joke. You always want to say more but never do; most people don’t notice that desire of yours, but he does.

Neteyam would seek you out and ask you, “what are you thinking?” He would go out of his way to sit next to you, making you blush. Eventually, people started noticing. Tsireya would playfully ask you about him but you just brush it off, hoping no one else heard. At first it was nothing, just Neteyam wanting you to feel included but over time it’s changed. You aren’t entirely sure how or why but you know your heart always beats faster when he walks into a room and when you catch him staring at you before you both look quickly away.

You can’t help yourself, you look back over at Neteyam. He’s still sharing a drink with his father, both of them relaxed and happy. Your heart completely melts and you know: you like Neteyam, and not in the way friends like each other. 

You groan and force yourself to look away. It’s useless. He is Neteyam Sully, son of Toruk Makto. Maybe you’ve just been imagining the tension between you too lately. He told you to come to the celebration but he hasn’t even said hi. That’s it. You turn to leave, your feet sliding on the smooth sand when a voice calls out to you. 

“Y/n!” Ao’nung calls you.  

You stop and watch him run up to you, his dark tattoos gleaming against his skin. He reaches you with a smile on his face. His eyes are crinkle at the side, obvious that he’s had some to drink. A slow smile creeps onto his face. “You weren’t leaving,  were you?” 

You look back towards the village, empty and quiet. “Yes, I was.”

“Well, don’t do that!” Ao’nung exclaims. His eyes trace down your body, taking in your celebration beads that reveal more than your normal cloths. His eyes meet yours, a new gleam in them. “Dance with me.” 

Your eyes widen. “Oh!” You start to shake your head. “I don’t know…” 

Ao’nung cocks his head to the side, the same way he has since you were kids. Ao’nung has always been a bit of a player and you’ve always steered clear of that, making sure to keep your relationship platonic. 

“Please,” Ao’nung says before reaching out to you. 

You freeze. You don’t like situations like these, in fact you hate them. You only came to this stupid celebration for Neteyam and he’s not even speaking to you. Normally, you’d just slip off and be on your own, ignoring how you feel. But tonight feels different. The pounding of the celebration drums ring through your ears and into your veins.

 You look back at the party as Ao’nung watches you, carefully waiting for your answer. A jolt runs through your body when you lock eyes with Neteyam. He’s staring right at you from across the fire, his mouth turned downward. You tensen at his gaze, he’s never looked at you like that before. His eyes slowly travel down to Ao’nung’s extended hand. His eyes harden. You definitely have his attention now.

Your stomach flutters as you turn your eyes back to the boy in front of you. He’s smirking at you, waiting for your answer. Neteyam’s ignored you which makes you angrier than you thought it would. A foreign feeling floods through your body: screw being nice and sweet. What has it ever gotten you? 

You smile at Ao’nung, turning your head to the side like he’s made you blush. His smile grows. You place your hand in his and let him lead you to where the others are dancing. 

You keep your head high, faking your confidence as you walk by other clan members. They look up in curiosity at Ao’nung and your clasped hands. The heat of the fire hits your face as you reach the center of the party. Clan members dance all around you, hooting and cheering to the sound of the drums. The music sends chills through your body as Ao’nung leads you in a dance.

You’re rusty at first, having never danced before and only observed, but after a few steps, you get into it. Ao’nung pushes himself away from you before pulling you back in. You find yourself smiling and laughing to the music. 

Then, you glance back to where Neteyam stood. He’s still there, his nostrils flared and his eyes burn holes into Ao’nung. Something tingles in your stomach and spreads through your whole body. You turn back to your dance partner and move yourself closer to him. 

Ao’nung responds instantly, wrapping his fingers around your waist and guiding your hips as he dances. You lean your head back into his neck as he nuzzles his face against the side of yours. This’ll be the last time Neteyam ignores you.

You risk another look at him. Neteyam’s shaking his head now, his braids fly around his face. Lo’ak looks at you in concern before placing his hand on Neteyam’s arm, trying to calm him. Neteyam brushes him off angrily before storming off to the other side of the party. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed him.  You haven’t even defined your friendship or whatever you guys have. Dread curls in your stomach, you’ve definitely overreacted. You’re about to push Ao’nung off you and say you’ve gotten tired when a couple begins dancing right beside you. 

You look up in surprise to find Neteyam dancing. His arms… wrapped around another girl. You go completely rigid. Ao’nung rubs his hands up your side. 

“You okay, girl?”

Neteyam looks up at this. His eyes bore straight into yours as his body moves synchronously with his dance partner. He smirks slightly and tilts his head to the side as if to say, two can play this game. That little asshole. You glare at him to which he just shrugs and pulls the girl closer to him. 

You turn around and face Ao’nung. “I’m fine.” 

He smiles and runs his hand along your jaw. “You look fine.” 

Neteyam scoffs from behind you but you don’t give him the satisfaction of turning around. You keep dancing with Ao’nung, swaying your hips in front of him as he guides you. You drop down to your ankles and work your way back up, moving your body like a wave. 

Neteyam’s stare is heavy. You can feel him watching you the entire time. It sends chills down your spine and your heart begins to pound. Ao’nung digs his fingers into your skin as the drums beat faster. He twirls you around and pulls you close again. You look over at Neteyam to find him still staring at you, his hands are on the other girl but his eyes never leave your face. You stare back, confidently and unlike your usual self. Neteyam bites his lip.

Ao’nung, completely oblivious to you not paying attention to him, grabs your face. He quickly pulls you close to him and you can smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” he says. “But you’re always off on your own…” 

Fear shoots through your veins as your eyes widen. This is not what you want. You try to pull back from his grasp but he’s so close to you, already leaning in. Your brain goes blank as you try to think of a way out of this. His lips are almost touching yours when he goes flying backwards. 

He hits the ground with a loud thud, causing a few clan members to ask if he is okay. Neteyam is suddenly right beside you, his dance partner is gone and he’s staring at Ao’nung with a lethal look in his eyes. His chest is rapidly rising and falling, like he’s trying to contain himself. Ao’nung looks up at Neteyam, a look of disbelief on his face.  

“Neteyam…” You say in shock. 

He looks at you, his eyes darkening. He reaches out and roughly grabs your hand. “Come with me.” 

His voice is deep and raspy like he’s fighting against himself, like he wants something that he can’t have. His hand is hot against yours and he squeezes tightly, sparking something deep in your stomach. You don’t even look back at Ao’nung as Neteyam leads you off the beach and into the treeline. A few voices call after both of you but you don’t stop. 

You watch the swing of Neteyam’s long braids as he leads you away. He’s much more tense than usual, his strong arms look like they're about to burst. The sound of voices and drums begin to fade as you wade deeper into the palm trees. The night sky gleams above you and the plants glow beautifully. Once you can only see the faintest glow of the fire, Neteyam stops and turns to you.  

“What was that?”

You tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to elaborate. 

“You and,” he looks away in disgust. “Ao’nung.” 

You cross your arms over your body, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You let yourself go, this one time. Who is he to judge? “Why do you care?”

“Because I don’t ever want to see another man’s arms around you,” Neteyam replies so quickly you think you might have imagined it. 

Neteyam looks away, his eyes wide like he didn’t expect himself to say that. Your mouth falls open. You shake your head incredulously. “What is that supposed to mean, Neteyam?”

Neteyam runs his hands through his braids nervously. You take a step towards him as your heart rate speeds up. He eyes you cautiously but doesn’t move away. He lets out a sigh. “Don’t you know what it means?” 

You shake your head, wanting to hear him say it.

His golden eyes stare right into yours. “I want you.” 

You inhale sharply. Your heart pounds in your chest, so loud you’re afraid he’ll hear it. I want you. The words echo through your mind, making heat spread through your core. His voice, so deep and full of desire… It makes you want to… 

He cocks his head to the side as if he’s seeing your every thought. He takes a step closer to you. You’re frozen in place. His eyes narrow as he gazes lazily at you. He licks his lips and leans in. You tense, expecting him to kiss you, but his lips brush your ear. “Did you hear me?” He whispers, his hot breath hitting your neck. “I said, I want you.” 

Your throat is tight but you manage to speak anyway. “Prove it.” 

He pulls back slightly, amusement fluttering across his face.  

Now, it’s your turn. You lean into him, feeling his muscles harden as you come closer. The vein in his neck bulges slightly as you brush your lips against his ear. “You didn’t come speak to me at the party,” you whisper, making sure your breath hits his exposed skin. He shudders. “You danced with that other girl.” 

You pull back and stare at him. His eyes are a dark gold, filled with lust. You are standing so close to each other, the heat from both your bodies mix together. You fake an innocent smile at him. “How do I know that you really want me?” 

He lets out a low, guttural, growl before gripping the sides of your face. Your lips collide instantly. You let out a moan the second his lips meet yours, you can’t help it. He grins against the kiss as his hands travel down your neck. 

His lips move fervently against yours like he’s dying of thirst and your water. You return the kiss eagerly, your lips moving quickly against the softness of his mouth. You reach your hands up and sink them into his braids. You’ve been dying to run your fingers through his hair. You twist one of his braids and pull causing him to moan. 

His tongue runs along the bottom of your lip, begging for entrance. You open your mouth obediently, letting his tongue roam your mouth. His hands fly across your stomach and hips like he can’t decide where he wants to explore first. Your tongue glides against his as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, smashing your bodies together. 

He lifts you up, his lips never leaving yours, and pushes you against a nearby tree. You wrap your legs around his waist, feeling the heat of his skin sink into yours. His hands run along the outsides of your legs and ass. Damn, he’s strong.

You pull back from the kiss, letting your head hit the palm tree behind you. His eyes are hooded as he looks at you lazily through narrow slits. Neteyam’s gaze falls to your lips. You can feel how swollen they already are and there’s saliva dangling from them. He reaches out and rubs his thumb across your lip. “I love seeing my spit across your lips,” he says, his voice rough.

You gasp softly, shocked at what he just said, and even more shocked that you liked hearing it. He smirks as his fingers circle your thighs slowly, making your breath hitch. 

You’re dying to hear his breath hitch. You lean into his neck and plant soft kisses on his skin. He inhales sharply. You run your tongue along his neck before sucking. “Fuck,” he moans as his fingers dig into your thigh. You smile and lift your lips before kissing again. 

You’re about to suck when he yanks your head back and presses his lips against yours. All his desire runs through his mouth and into your body. You throb in a way you never have before. You open your mouth, wanting to feel his tongue against yours. You press your hands into his skin, trying to force him closer to you, like you could melt into one being. 

You're both breathing heavily as you continue kissing, his strong legs keeping you firmly against the tree. His hands are feverish as they roam all over your body until they reach the inside of your thigh. He slows down his kissing, his lips slowly grinding against yours. His lips tug at yours at an excruciatingly slow pace. You moan as his fingers inch up the inside of your thigh, coming closer to your wet center. 

You want him to keep going. You nod against your kiss, letting him know you want it. He groans from deep in his throat. His fingers instantly are at your loin cloth. He brushes against the outside, you can feel the warmth of him against your core. 

Your heart is pounding as your body throbs. You can’t take this, you need him. You’re about to tell him that when a voice breaks through the trees.

“Neteyam?”

We both freeze. It’s Jake. Neteyam instantly lets go of you as you fix your cloths. Neteyam smooths his hair down and fixes his parts before looking at you. You stare back, your face completely flushed and sweaty. He smirks.

Jake appears a few feet away. “Come back to the party!”

“Coming!” Neteyam calls back. “We were just having a chat.”

Jake nods, believing his oldest son easily before leaving. 

You blow out a breath of relief as you watch Jake’s retreating back. Your heart is still pounding and your skin feels like it’s on fire. You’re not sure how you’re going to show your face back at the celebration. Neteyam leans close to you, his naughty lips brushing against your ear. “This isn’t over. You’re mine.”

Thank you for reading <3

I love feedback so lmk what you think and send me requests :)

#neteyam #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam x you #neteyam imagine #neteyam fluff #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #avatar fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #neteyam smut #avatar x reader #lo'ak fanfiction #lo'ak sully #jake sully fanfiction #jake sully #neytiri #avatar #avatar neteyam

[ramp-it-up]

Sugar Sugar

Summary: You chose Bucky. But now he’s going 5000 miles away. And you were not consulted. Steve is right there and it’s his birthday. The competition isn’t over.

Word Count: 2.5K

Pairings: College grad Steve x Grad School Reader; College grad Bucky x Grad School Reader (Not Stucky); Various Marvel MCU Characters (in same age except for Stark) x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Not Beta’d. Read at your own risk. Roommate au, S MUT! Lovers quarrel before action starts, angst, flirting, Tony being Tony, lowkey voyeurism, a lil bit of fluff. drinking, flirting, crushes, an unsanctioned birthday picnic, ‘borrowed’ champagne, birthday “kisses” 😏, oral s ex (f receiving), cheating (maybe. possibly)

A/N: This is a sequel to last year’s Sugar. I know! 😫 I hope you like it.

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

You were sipping your blueberry tequila smash and staring moodily across the water. It was supposed to be a festive day and an even better night, but that insanely handsome and inconsiderate roommate/boyfriend of yours ruined it all.

Or rather, you ruined it, thinking that you would be any different than any of the other girls he’d smashed and passed on. So what it had lasted a year? Bucky was leaving you now, so cheers to wasted time.

You downed the rest of your drink in one gulp as you thought to get another when someone cleared their throat beside you.

You glanced over to see your boss standing beside you, resplendent in a white suit and sunglasses. You straightened up and ran your free hand over your white mini sundress with blue polka dots and greeted him.

“Oh! Hello, Mr. Stark. This party is so nice. Great way to celebrate the Fourth!”

You plastered on a fake smile and aimed it at him. He smiled back at you.

“Cut the shit, Sugar. I know you’re not that happy. I saw you and Barnes had words and he stalked out. I warned you about fraternization.”

Your stomach dropped and you just knew that you would be fired and kicked out of Stark house, losing your graduate fellowship. Shit. Stark knew everything, even the nickname that your roommates, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers had given you.

“Oh that? That was nothing, just a roommate disagreement.”

Stark leaned in. He smelled good. Real good. He smelled….rich.

“Listen. That rule is not because I mind co-workers getting it on…” 

He paused and winked at you, and instead of being creepy, it was funny, so you laughed. 

“It’s because most people, especially young people like you, can’t do it without all the feels.”

He nodded and you turned to see Wanda and Vis sneaking off around the house, hand in hand.

“That’s going to lead to heartbreak,” he said, indicating the sneaky couple.

Then looked you in the eyes. 

“And you’re going to be all twisted up into knots between those two grunts if you’re not careful.”

You looked at him quizzically.

“Two grunts?”

Stark sighed and raised his hand.

“You need to lay off the red, white, and blue drinks, Sugar.”

He looked you up and down and you don’t know if it was the drinks, but you weren’t mad at him. He was kind of charming.

“Barnes and Rogers. Part of the reason I keep you around, besides the fact that your IQ is within 20 points of mine, is the increased productivity around them when you are together. Competition is a wonderful thing for business.”

When the server appeared, he grabbed an elegant looking red drink.

“But lately productivity is falling. Hence Barnes’ new offer. It had to be done, Sugar. Now we all can concentrate on the work ahead.”

You frowned at what he was saying, not giving voice to your feelings on that subject. Stark sighed again and shook his head as he handed the drink to you, despite what he said earlier.

“Kir Royale.”

You accepted it and took a sip. Then you looked up at Stark.  You were beginning to think that he might have been pretty cute when he was younger.

“I was Sugar, and I’m a handsome devil now.”

You gasped and put your hand over your mouth as he winked and walked away, not knowing you’d said that out loud. You watched him walk away as he commented over his shoulder. 

“Nice dress, Sugar. It’s making several people all hard, soft, and wet.”

You gasped again, looking down. The dress covered everything, and you didn’t know what he was talking about. You turned toward the river and the afternoon sun again, finally realizing.

The sun was shining through your dress and everyone behind you could see everything you had to offer. And you hadn’t worn any underwear because you came with Bucky.

You quickly made your way down the lawn to the edge of the hedge maze to put the greenery at your back and to watch the water in privacy. Irritation was on the edge of your brain, but the drinks were making everything mellow. 

So what, your boyfriend had accepted a position in Romania for a year?

So what, you couldn’t go with because you’d won a coveted Stark fellowship that extended your housing and salary into while you studied in graduate school at NYU?

So what, Bucky didn’t consult you before committing himself?

So what, you were an idiot who thought you could have happily ever after?

You jumped at a noise behind you. You wheeled around and were stopped in your tracks.

“Hey Sugar.”

Steve was there, with a strange look on his face, but his bright blue shirt was making those eyes pop.

“Oh. Hullo Steve.” 

You pouted at him and he almost fell to his knees. 

Things had been different with you and Steve since you and Bucky had gotten together last year. You were still friends, but he kept you at arms length. You didn’t think much about it, because you’d been wrapped up in your relationship, but as you looked at him now, the guilt hit you full force.

“Oh shit, Cap! It’s your birthday!”

His Lacrosse moniker flew from your lips as you threw yourself into his arms for a hug. Steve was caught off guard and stumbled backward, but managed to break your fall with his body. His hard body. 

“Thank you. You remembered.”

You were both laughing as you untangled from each other on the ground.

“Of course I did! I’m your bestie, right?” 

You gave him your bightest smile.

“Bestie. Right.” 

Steve thought of the innocent kiss you’d shared last year. He thought of it every day, in fact. But you were Bucky’s girl. He looked at you and grinned. You made him so happy. You and Bucky were his only family, so he was glad to be with you today, if only for a moment. 

“I see you were trying to be alone. I’ll leave you be.”

The sight of you made him weak, so he made to leave before he said something stupid. Then, he felt your hand grab his.

“Just where do you think you’re going, Mister?”

“Ummm…?”

“Um, nothing! We’re going to celebrate your birthday in style, Bestie.” 

Your eyes sparkled at him.

“Are you ready for your reconnaissance mission?”

—--

20 minutes later, you and Steve met in the same place, behind the hedges. He’d completed his mission with table cloth and a box full of some hor’s d'oeuvres from the party. Steve had charmed one of the servers in the kitchen.

He took you in, a mischievous look on your face and your arms behind your back. Your nipples were pointed right at him through your dress and his mouth went dry.

“What do you have there?”

Steve’s deep baritone and his raised eyebrow did something to you, but you shook it off as you brought your hands in front of you. Steve barked at your audacity.

You’d swiped a bottle of Stark’s Bollinger Vieilles Vignes Françaises from the bar and the entire top to the strawberry and blueberry five tier sponge cake that was on the buffet.

“Only the best for my bestie!”

Steve shook his head at you as you set up the picnic.

You and Steve talked like you hadn’t in over a year. You ate and drank and just relaxed, bringing your old vibe back. Everything was perfect, even the beginning sunset across the water.

Until Steve complimented your dress.

“This is nice.” 

He took it in his hand to feel the fabric, bushing his fingertips along your thigh. You shivered and looked down at his hand, leaving Steve to marvel at your eyelashes across your cheeks. Then, you looked back up at him and reached up to feel his beard.

“So is this. Been meaning to tell you.”

Steve’s new-ish whiskers were somehow stiff, but soft, and you let your fingertips linger against his face, eyes drawn to his lips, made even more red by the strawberries off the cake. You licked yours unconsciously, thinking of that 7 minutes in heaven last summer.

“So… what do you want for your birthday?”

You reluctantly withdrew your hand from his face and sat back on your knees, hands on your thighs. For some reason, that made Steve hot and bothered. He considered you.

“Today has been great. The food, the drink, the cake.”

He grinned.

“”Great’, but not ‘Perfect.’” 

You cocked your head at him and Steve wanted his hands on you. 

“What would make it perfect?”

Steve grabbed the bottle of champagne and took a swig because you hadn’t gotten any glasses.

“It’ll never happen.”

Your interest was piqued.

“Never say never, Cap.”

Was Steve drunk, or was your voice more sultry? He shook his head, partially to clear it, and partially in denial.

“I think I can say never with confidence on this one.”

You got up on your knees and grabbed his arm.

“C’mon, please, please, please! It’s your birthday. I’ll do anything to make it happen, pleaaaseeeee!”

You bouncing up and down begging on your knees made Steve’s reserve snap.

“I want to kiss you.”

You stopped moving and your mouth hinged open. Then you licked your lips. 

“Ummmmmm….”

“That’s what I thought.”

Steve took another swig.

“Can’t do that. You’re Buck’s girl…”

Your reticence evaporated at the mention of James Barnes.

“Fuck Bucky.” 

And you threw yourself at Steve, causing him to drop the bottle, then blindly feel for it, making sure it was upright before pulling you into his lap.

The kiss was less innocent than the first, all lips, tongues and teeth, even biting as Steve sought to possess you. You found yourself grinding on Steve’s bulge as year old memories of what his casually swinging roommate cock looked like flashed through your mind.

Then you stopped, moved off Steve’s lap and lay back on the table cloth, eyes closed and hand on your heaving chest.

“That was great.”

You chuckled and smiled, eyes still closed. You missed Steve’s eyes roaming over your prone body.

“Great, but not perfect?”

“I wasn’t talking about kissing you on those lips….”

Your eyes flew open the now dark sky and you turned your head to see Steve lying next to you, a pained look on his face.

“Steve…”

“I know… but… damn Sugar… I’m down bad for you. Always have been.”

You looked into those baby blues and you knew it was true. 

“I….”

Instead of saying what you wanted to say, you shifted and pulled your dress up slowly, causing Steve’s eyes to follow every move, and an unconscious groan to escape from his lips. When you revealed your naked core to him, he got up on his knees.

“We’ve got to make your birthday perfect, now don’t we?”

Steve gulped.

“Oh, Sugar…Sugar…”

He looked up at you, eyes dilated.

“You sure…?”

“Kiss me, Stevie…”

You let your leg fall open, and Steve’s hands were on you, pulling you toward him as he leaned down toward your naked bottom. He put his hand under your thigh and propped it up and over his shoulder.

His hot breath against your pussy lips made you shudder. He looked up at you.

“I knew you’d be pretty everywhere.”

You smiled and put your hand in his hair, scratching his scalp. 

“You’re so nice, Steve.”

He raised his eyebrow.

“Nice? I’ll show you nice.”

And he leaned down and liked your pussy, tongue sweeping into your sweet tang and setting his world on fire.

“Fucking delicious…”

“Languagggeeeeee… Stevie, fuck!”

You couldn’t handle it as he dove in and pulled and sucked your clit like taffy candy

Steve chuckled, then looked up at what he was doing to you. Your head was thrown back, one hand still grabbing his hair and the other on your breast.

“Look at me.”

You brought your head up to see him and then gasped as he spit on your pussy and then licked it up. 

“Shit, Steve…”

His mouth had disappeared into your cunt as you replied.

“T-ththat wasn’t very nice. In fact…”

You had to stop speaking because now Steve had brought two thick fingers up and had entered your slick passage. The way he finger fucked you while sucking your clit made your eyes roll back in your head. You had his hair tight and the tighter you pulled, the more he groaned and licked you up. 

You grunted through your orgasm, still cognizant that people might hear you.

After you came, Steve looked up at you and curled his fingers which were still inside you, making you slap your hand over your mouth as you keened behind it. That extended your orgasm and had you searching for air as Steve’s hand ran up your dress to squeeze your soft breasts.

“That was great, Sugar. But you know what would be perfect?”

You knew knew what was coming next. 

You thought.

“If you rode my face and came in my mouth.”

“Oh.”

You were sure that you looked like a fish the way your mouth stayed open in surprise.

You were sexy as hell to Steve Rogers.

He moved smoothly down to the ground and you took in the tent that was made through his khaki pants. You were a little disappointed. You wanted him inside you.

Steve chuckled and reached out his arms, grabbing for you.

“C’mere, Sugar, bring me that sweet, sweet sugary cream.”

You blushed, despite the debauchery you just participated in, and allowed yourself to be pulled up to Steve’s chest, your skirt fanning around him as he hooked his arms around your thighs and moved your skirt up for access.

“Now, I want you to sit on my face.”

“That handsome face with that big ass tongue?” 

You used to tease him about it all the time.

Steve smiled and nodded.

“Ummmhmmmm.” 

He stuck his tongue out and wiggled it.

“The better to eat you with, my dear.”

Then he turned and kissed your thigh. Next, his blue eyes bore into yours.

“Now, bring that ass here…”

You couldn’t help but obey as you raised up on your thighs and scooted up as he scooted down. He pulled you down so that you were seated perfectly on his face, his tongue spearing inside you. His hands held you apart as next he did a swirly thing and also a full lick from the top to the bottom of you, all the while watching you.

All shyness disappeared as soon you were grabbing his hair again and undulating on his mouth. Steve nodded and groaned, which encouraged you to go for the gold.

“Oh, my god, Steve…”

You fucked yourself on his face as he sucked and tweaked your clit, listening to his moans of pleasure. The thought that this is what he wanted to do on his birthday was getting you off.

Oh, and the stunning cunnilingus that this man was performing on you helped as well.

At first you thought it was your orgasm, but the fireworks that were lighting up the sky wasn’t from your own climax, but the thousands of dollars Stark paid for them. You allowed yourself to scream as you squirted into Steve’s mouth, and you collapsed over him as he scooted out, flipped up your skirt and licked you clean.

You lay shivering on the ground watching the lights in the sky as Steve lay down beside you and viewed the fireworks with you. 

He pulled you into his arms as you whispered, “What about that?”

You wiggled your bottom against his boner.

“That will get taken care of, one way or another.”

Steve leaned up and kissed your cheek.

“Right now, this moment is perfect.”

You smiled and relaxed, thinking that what you had given Steve was also a gift to yourself.

Stars sparked in the sky as you snuggled into Steve��s arms and Bucky turned away from the hedge, heading toward Romania.

If you like it, reblog and let me know!

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[yelenasdiary]

Helloooooo! Happy Kinktober! If you are still taking requests for this event, may I request leader of cult Agatha H. and innocent reader. Agatha chooses someone outside her cult as a new recruit and the mission of her followers is to bring reader and indoctrinate her so that in the end she marries Agatha and have her babies

Everything Is Perfect My Love

Pairing Cult Leader! Agatha Harkness x Innocent! Reader

Summary: After a year of joining what you thought was an organisation to meet new like-minded people, you start to see the world through different eyes.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men DNI!! Smut, Dark Angst, Dom! Agatha, Sub! Reader, Loss of Virginity, Legal Age Gap, Oral (R Receiving), Magic Strap, Manipulation, Indoctrination, Forced Marriage, Breeding, Mommy Kink, Use of Magic, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Depression | 2.2K

AC:I really liked the idea of cult leader! Agatha!! Thank you for sending this, I hope you enjoy it! Please keep in mind that although Reader seems to be into the whole idea, they are brainwashed and have no idea what is truly happening.

October Special Masterlist

Every morning you woke up with a smile on your face and a new feeling of excitement since joining an organization a year ago. You haven't been the same, in fact, you found yourself happier with the new people around you that you now call your family. Every morning, you all would have breakfast together with the organization's leader, Agatha. She was rather tall, had blue eyes, long and wavy dark brown hair and a slight accent. Without her, you wouldn't be here. 

After the murder of your family and the FBI being unable to track down the person who took everything from you, you found yourself in a dark pool of depression. You felt alone and were barely making ends meet until two young women, slightly older than you, stopped you in the street by handing you a flyer for the Coven Organization. A community of women who offer their services in love, respect and acceptance. 

When you joined, you were aware that you didn't have the funds to even sign up but you explained things were hard for you right now and you really wanted to give this a try. The girls spoke to their leader, Agatha, who requested to meet you for coffee to discuss an alternative way for you to join the group. 

Fast forward a year later and you've never been happier. Each day is different, and you were excited to be with your new family. It took a little bit of time to adjust but you found comfort in Agatha whose door was always open for you whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on. As time went on, you grew rather close to the leader who was a few years older than you. She was kind, loving, gentle and patient with you. She knew you were pure, untouched and shy, exactly how she wanted you. 

"Well ladies" Agatha said before wiping any remains of breakfast on her lips onto a napkin, "I'm so very excited to let you know the festivities will commence in a week's time" she announced. The table erupted with cheer and excitement from those who knew what this meant, "you know what to do" Agatha added as her eyes scanned the large table, taking a second to look at everybody in the eye before her blue eyes landed on you. She smiled softly before she rose from her chair, "you are all dismissed, clean up and continue your duties from yesterday" she instructed. 

Everybody rose from the table, piling up the dishes from breakfast as Agatha walked over to you and placed her hands on your shoulders from behind, "See me in my office doll" she whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and walking out of the dining room. The heels on her boots could be heard walking down the hall, fading as she entered her office. 

"You're the chosen one!" Salma turned to you, her dark brown eyes full of joy and excitement but her words left you confused, "the chosen one?" you questioned. 

"You'll see" Salma replied with a smile before she followed the others into the kitchen to wash up. You wandered down the hall to Agatha's office, knocking before turning the handle. "Come on in my love" her voice spoke from behind the wooden door. You opened the door and entered, closing it behind you.

 "Is everything okay Ma'am?" you asked as she walked up to you with a warm smile. "Everything is perfect my love, I wanted to talk to you" she replied, gently cupping your face with her right hand, an electric line of purple left her fingertips, out of sight from your eyes. "You have such beautiful eyes; I could get lost in them forever" she complimented as she saw the hint of her purple magic fill your eyes. 

"Thank you, Ma'am," you replied with a blushing smile. Agatha's thumb gently stroked your skin, she had you wrapped around her finger and you didn't even know it. "I love you" she spoke, her eyes never leaving yours as they widened. 

"I..I love you too" you admitted, leaving a brief second of silence to be shared between you both before Agatha kissed your lips softly. "Will you be my wife?" she asks, looking into your eyes once more. The purple in your eyes faded, a smile grew on your lips as you nodded, "forever" you replied.

--A Week Later—

It was the night of the festival, the community you called home were dressed in long purple gowns while Agatha's gown was different. Her outfit was purple mixed with different shades of light and dark purples. She sat on her infamous throne as she watched the enjoyment of others with you by her side. The community were celebrating your engagement to their leader alongside the surprise wedding that Agatha planned. 

It took you by surprise at first, but you quickly felt comfort and a sense of belonging that you didn't want to ignore. You both said "I do" while looking into each other's eyes and you swore you saw something sparkle ever so slightly in Agatha's eyes. "Tomorrow, we enter the next stage my loves" Agatha turned on her heels to face the following she had made, taking another moment to look everybody in the eyes for a brief second, knowing she was unstoppable. 

Later that night, your things were moved from one of the shared rooms and into Agatha's room. "Is there anything you need my love?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer. You shook your head, "What is the next stage about?" you asked with a hint of worry in your tone. 

"To celebrate you" Agatha replied with a soft smile before brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, "and our love" she added. Looking into your eyes, the only thing she could see was the love and dedication you had for the woman standing in front of you, "you'll do anything for me, won't you love?" she asked. Without a thought, you nodded, "I love you, Ags" you replied, "I'll do anything for you. You saved me" you admitted. "Without you or this community you've created, I would've been lost, maybe not even here" you went on, tears filling your eyes. 

"Shhh, my love, it is okay" the dark-haired woman kissed your lips softly before wiping your tears with her thumb, "nothing will ever, ever hurt you again" she added as a promise. "Do you trust me?" she asked, her hands finding your waist again. You nodded once more causing Agatha to smile, "tomorrow will be a very big celebration after tonight" she informed you. 

"Why?" you questioned watching Agatha's eyes drop to your lips. "Because my love, you are ready and it's going to be perfect" she answered before kissing your cheek, moving down to your neck. Purple magic flashed from her fingertips out of your vision once more, a soft moan left your lips as you wrapped your arms around the back of Agatha's neck. Her lips were soft and warm as she gently sucked to leave reddish marks as a form of claiming you behind the closed doors. 

Carefully, Agatha guided you to the bed, laying you on your back as she continued to kiss and gently mark your neck as light moans left your lips. "M..m..mommy, please" the words left your lips even surprising you as Agatha leant back, looking at you with a smirk. "Oh darling, you're going to so good for mommy" she replied before working her hands up your stomach to remove your tee. Her lips kissed your chest to the valley between your breasts as she unclasped your bra, throwing it to the side.

"W-wait" you stopped her with a hand wrapped around her wrist, "I've n-never" you stuttered, almost too worried to look into her eyes. Agatha kissed your lips once more before looking into your eyes once again, "I know" Agatha admitted, "it's okay, I'm going to take such good care of you my little bug" she added. Her purple magic made your eyes flicker, you nodded, "I trust you" you replied. Her magic was working, of course it was, she studied the dark hold to a tee! 

Before you knew it, your panties were thrown to the floor and your body almost covered with the markings of Agatha's lips. She paused her actions for a brief moment to walk over to the wardrobe, grabbing a dark purple plastic dildo and a black harness before undressing herself. You'd never seen somebody as beautiful as Agatha, you wanted her in every way you could think of. The small wet patch that was on your panties would've been a lot bigger if they were still on. You couldn't help but rub the inside of your thighs as you watched the older woman attach the dildo to the harness. 

"You look worried my love" Agatha smirked as she walked back over the bed, crawling over you. The tip of the toy rested on top of your pussy; the coldness made you lightly gasp at the feeling. "That's b-big" you replied as your eyes were locked onto the drop that sat against your naked skin. "It'll feel so good inside you baby, I promise" Agatha's words comforted you and she saw that as your body began to relax. 

"I won't hurt you my love" she added as she continued to kiss down your body, two of her fingers gently rubbing through your folds. "Mm, let mommy taste you baby" She whispered before lying beside you. Without hesitation, you straddled her face and slowly lowered yourself onto her tongue. You moaned at the feeling of her tongue swirling around your clit, giving you a whole new sensation that you'd never felt before. 

Agatha hummed at the taste of you, tipping her tongue inside your untouched hole making you slightly jump. "It's okay love" she reminded you, bringing her thumb to your clit, rubbing soft circles as you moaned her name, "don't stop!" your hands landed on her thighs to for support as she worked her magic on you. "You can cum baby" she said in an almost muffled voice. You weren't exactly sure what she meant by that but that thought didn't last long when you felt your legs shake and a loud moan left your lips. 

"You taste so sweet" Agatha hummed after she helped you ride out your high, helping you off her. "That was" you paused, unable to stop yourself from blushing, "great" you added after a moment of silence. Agatha looked at you with a proud smirk, "that's how it's going to feel again, lay back and let mommy breed you baby" she replied with hunger in her eyes. You chuckled at her words knowing she couldn't actually get you pregnant, so you thought. 

You laid down and watched as Agatha covered the tip of the fake cock with lube before sliding it up and down between your folds, making you moan once more. "You're going to be such a good mommy" she said as she pushed the tip against your hole. You could already tell it was going to hurt and asked her to stop, "it's going to hurt, I've heard others say it does" you said in fear. 

"Only for a few moments, bug" Agatha's hand gently stroked your cheek, "take a deep breath for me" she added before moving her hand from your face to support her as her other hand helped line up her strap. You did as she said and took a deep breath in, your eyes squeezed shut as you felt the toy slowly enter you. "Let it out my love, it's okay, it'll only hurt for a moment" Agatha spoke to calm you. 

After a few moments, the pain faded. "I'm okay" you smiled softly at your wife who at your words began to move her hips, sliding the toy in and out of your wet pussy. She was right, she always was. The pain was turned to pleasure as the room filled with the sounds of your moans and Agatha thrusting into you at a faster past. 

"You're doing so well for me baby" Agatha praised you.

Your eyes rolled back at the pleasure, she used that moment to spin her magic, making the fake cock something a little more special. Her lips found your neck once more, "I wasn't joking darling, you're going to be the best mother to our babies" she whispered softly into your hear. Your orgasm was building faster with every thrust, your hands wrapped around your new wife's back, nails stretching at her back. "I'll d-do any-anything for you!" you moaned, opening your eyes for Agatha to see her purple-colored magic filling your natural color. With a few more thrusts you came once more, your nails dug harder into Agatha's skin while she released her cum into your wound, painting your insides with her seed. You felt the warmth filling you, but your mind was too hazed to care. 

Agatha cleaned you up after a few you both caught your breath; she watched as you pulled the covers over yourself and snuggled into them while she changed into a fresh pair of pajamas. After watching you from afar, having your family murdered, taking you in and now making you hers forever, she couldn't help but smile proudly to herself and she couldn't wait for you to discover your pregnancy even though she already knew her magic had worked.

Taglist: @tryingmybest233333 | @music-4ever | 

#yelenasdiary asks #anon #fanfiction #Agatha Harkness #Agatha Harkness x Reader #agatha harkness smut #marvel #kinktober #darktober

[morallyinept]

A Christmas One Shot follow up to my Joel Miller series, Five Days.

Five Days Series Masterlist

☝🏻It would be ideal for you to read the series first if you haven't yet, as this one shot follows on from this series directly. You can read it as a stand alone, but some things might not make sense.

Summary: Months after the final events in Five Days, you and Joel prepare for the next event in your lives at the commune - your wedding day.

Pairing: Post-Outbreak Joel Miller x MatureF!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. However reader is of a similar age range as Joel; in her late forties/early fifties. Joel is slightly older at 56.)

Word Count: 7.7k

Scoville Smut Rating:🌶️🌶️🌶️ “You tell me I’m doing well, and then, you try to kill me.”

Check out my Scoville Smut Ratings here.

Explicit - Unprotected PIV (wrap up, folks!)/oral M receiving/fingering/angst/mentions of death

NSFW. MINORS DNI! OVER 18’s ONLY. YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ.

☝🏻Don’t come at me; you’ve been plenty warned. If this story isn't for you, that's fine. Just slip quietly out the back door. No need to make a fuss. It's just a work of fiction.

Author’s Note: An additional festive part, wrapping up Joel and Reader's journey, with a spangly Christmas bow on top. Thank you again to everyone who has read and enjoyed Five Days. Truly means the world. Happy Holidays! 🎄

Enjoy! 🖤

FIVE DAYS SERIES MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

Your breath fogs the pane, a condensed, misty cloud as you breathe, surveying the view below in the main square.

The small commune square is adorned with makeshift festive decorations, remnants of the world that once thrived with the capitalist depiction of it all. Buzzing with a distinct holiday cheer, despite the lees of the post-apocalyptic world surrounding it just outside the gates.

Improvised string lights hang from makeshift structures with a welcome, twinkling glow, despite the sky still being light outside, albeit a little more grey now. The pleasant threat of more snowfall lingers in the distance.

In one corner, a group of children - some of whose faces you can put names to now - their laughter echoing through the air, work together to craft snowmen from the scarce patches of snow that still adorn the ground from the recent flurry.

This winter hasn’t been as harsh as you’d expected yet, but the winter of your discourse still remains heavy on your shoulders despite finding some semblance of daily normality here.

You even have a job now, tending to the horses. It’s basically mucking out and feeding, but you’re keen to learn and prove yourself as someone who can pull their weight. Plus, being parted from the black mare for too long, whom you rode to and from the outpost, leaves you with a sense of unease.

Her big, glassy eyes fill you with some comfort the more time you spend with her; those gentle head butts into your own, when it all gets a bit much, reassures you she feels your pain and shares it with you. You’ve since discovered her name is Ashen.

You watch, curiously, as a trellis of flowers is lifted by several men and settled into place. A graceful arch, fashioned from salvaged and repurposed wood, and built and sanded down by Joel himself as a project over the last few weeks - a gift for your wedding day. It's now decorated in vines and dried wild flowers, preserved in their seasonal beauty and uniqueness.

You remember rubbing salve into his splintered hands in the evenings, massaging around his stubby thumbs and calloused palms as he winced and groaned at the rawness fading away before those hands would grip onto your skin and leave you gasping with fading imprints. He really is so good with his hands…

“Here,” Sal’s voice rouses you from your heated reverie and the view outside.

Turning, her hair is pinned neatly and she looks younger somehow. More at ease, more feminine than you’ve ever seen her. Flaming red hair matches her lips and her eyes sparkle.

You smile, taking the delicate lace that she holds out for you, and you step into it, allowing her to button you up.

“Are you nervous?” She asks you as her nimble fingers work. Your eyes are still transfixed out the window as rows of unmatching chairs are lined up by working bodies.

Seems like the whole commune is involved in contributing to the preparations.

You shake your head. “No. Feels right.” You say, agreeing with the stringent relief that prevents any butterflies from flapping their sickly wings. “Feels like it should have already happened, years ago.” You confess, smiling as you smooth down the lace around your cuffs.

“Joel’s a lucky man.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m the lucky one.” Luck, despite everything, seemed to have had your back all along. Although the paths it led you down to find it, you’re not so sure about.

“Let me get a look at you.” Sal says as she steps back. You turn to face her and she sighs in awe.

“Christy has outdone herself. This dress is stunning.” Sal murmurs, her eyes glistening.

“She really has.” You say, admiring the mid-length, hand-made, gown that sits snugly against your body. Made from scraps of lace, Christy, the resident seamstress, has managed to make a dress that’s perfectly suited for the occasion. Simple, elegant, but meaningful.

“Look,” Sal says, adjusting the mirror and you catch sight of yourself.

The lace is delicate and stitched with love and envious talent, and weaves across the front of your collarbone and down your arms. There’s a slight dip in the back as it hangs a little lower down your spine before cascading into a waterfall of buttons, some mismatching, some with sparkly gems in the centre, but it’s forgiven and actually adds to the charm.

The dress is simply more than you ever thought possible, more than you probably deserve. More than you ever thought you’d have in this lifetime.

“You’re beautiful.” Sal says, dabbing at her eyes.

“Stop. You’re going to make me cry.”

She laughs, a little choke being swallowed down. “I just wish Kelper was here to see you like this.”

“Sal-” You begin with a choking lump in your throat.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” You shake your head. “I wish he could too.”

You spend a moment regarding one another; her eyes wandering into the painful territory of yours as you both recall the eviscerating loss.

Both thriving in it for a few moments, sharing in the grief that has lingered in the marrow of your bones for the past five months or so. Paused, sometimes, in that moment when Tommy relayed over the walkie-talkie the devastation that Kelper had perished in the fight against the infected horde.

It still seems like yesterday and centuries ago. And you were mad, hopping mad with him for a while after your return to the commune; mad that he could be so foolish, so selfish, as to leave you all without him.

But with time, taking each day, each sunrise and sunset, one foot in front of the other, the anger dissipated into raw grief. And it walks alongside you now, linking arms with all the other’s you've lost in your life.

Another name on a chalkboard above a fireplace, another ribbon tied to a tree. Another splinter in your heart.

While the anticipation of marrying Joel fills you with inexplicable joy and pertinent relief, the absence of Kelper, casts a malignant shadow, a blot on the sun.

The glint of excitement in your eyes is tempered by a soft sadness that hovers like a wailing banshee that’s attached itself to your side permanently it feels; it won't stop screaming in your ear. A tribute to the friend, partner, even soulmate, who had been your anchor in tumultuous times of endurance and survival.

Yet, as you stand ready to embark on this new chapter with Joel in a world that still seems so uncertain at times, still so… frightening, despite being safe behind reinforced walls, you find some strength in the enduring gravity of love.

Kelper's memory, a guiding presence now in some ways when he talks to you when you most need it, whispers words of encouragement, reminding you that even in loss, love persists in this broken world and it’s worth finding and clinging onto.

It’s the reason you’re still alive.

And it's something you hold on to, even if your fingers ache from gripping it too tightly.

Even when the grief consumes and you sob unabashed and uncontrollably into Joel’s broad shoulders in the middle of the night.

And he holds you through it, anchoring you and steering you back to yourself as you work through it; a golden compass bringing you home when you lose your way in the dark.

Sal picks up the make-up brush and hands it to you with a gentle smile as you dab at your eyes, and you chuckle.

“I love you,” she says gently, nodding.

You pull her towards you and cradle her tightly.

“I love you, more.” You say, clinging on and wondering if you’ll ever find the strength to let her go again.

“Well, I’ll be fuckin’ damned.” Tommy says, taking off his Stetson as he ambles into the room.

“Don’t ya say it.” Joel warns with a frown.

“Ya don’t know what I was goin’ to say.” Tommy smiles with an adept grin.

“Yeah. I do.” Joel says, turning, his hands fiddling with the tie.

Joel regards his younger brother narrowly as he steps into the room and bounds up to him. “Was gonna say ya look handsome, is all.”

“Yeah, right.” Joel scoffs. ”Help me with this thing, will ya? It’s all fuckin’ knotted up to hell.” Joel gruffs with a heavy sigh, tempting to forgo the tie entirely, lest he strangle himself with it first.

“Ya comb your hair?” Tommy asks, and Joel ducks as he goes to swipe at it.

“Leave off.” He says, checking it’s still in place.

For once, his unruly curls have been slicked down and back neatly, silver streaking through them that appears metallic in the wet gel, and seems more prominent these days.

As Joel dons the smartest plaid shirt he owns, and his standard pair of jeans that have seen better days, a mixture of emotions play across his weathered features despite his hardest at trying to mask them. It’s getting harder these days to keep it up.

The nervous excitement of marrying you, the love of his life, is palpable, but it dances alongside a more subdued undercurrent of opaque reflection.

“Ya nervous?” Tommy asks, as he straightens up Joel’s tie. He sees how his face is pulled tight in that ever present frown.

Joel nods, then shrugs. “Were you? When you n’ Maria tied the knot?”

“Was shittin’ myself.” Tommy admits with a bashful smile.

“Why?”

Tommy shrugs. “It’s forever, man.”

“But, that’s the point, ain’t it?” Joel queries after a moment’s pause.

“Yeah… I dunno. Maybe.”

“Ya regret it?” Joel asks, peering at his younger brother who still seems to be ageing at a much slower rate than Joel; it makes him grind down on his back molars.

Tommy immediately shakes his head, slick oiled curls tousling as he does so.

“No. S’not what I meant. I love Maria n’ I wanted to marry her. Just feels… different now, y’know? Like, to how it would‘ve been back then. Means somethin’ more than just vows now, I think. Somethin’... profound.”

“Profound, huh?” Joel snorts. He never thought he'd hear Tommy say something like that. Didn’t even know he knew the meaning of the word.

“Yeah, like serendipity or some shit. Wasn't lookin’ for it, n’ there she was. She makes me a better man, Joel.” Tommy says quietly.

He glances briefly at his brother’s eyes, the same dark eyes they share from their mother, and then back to the tie. “Ya lady do that for you?”

“Mm. She does.” Joel agrees, his fingers buzzing slightly at the thought.

“Shit, what did ya do with this thing?” Tommy chuckles, as he fights with the knot.

“I dunno. First time I’ve ever had to wear one.” Joel grits.

“Ya tellin’ me.” Tommy snorts.

Joel remains quiet, thoughtfully contemplating. Thinking about back before the outbreak, and what it would’ve been like if he’d married you whilst you were both still young and fresh faced. When he might've known how to tie a fuckin’ tie by himself.

And of course, he had intended to, even brought a ring; spent ages picking it out, but he never got to give it to you.

You’d left.

He briefly wonders what happened to that ring, where it is now on the planet.

A season of what ifs and unanswered scenarios plague his thoughts with spiked edges. Would you have even said yes back then? Would you have lasted, or would a quick divorce have followed?

He knows it’s fruitless to try and unpick it all whilst Tommy battles with the knot that now feels tighter against his throat, but Joel’s always been a brooding thinker, much to his detriment at times.

But he can't help but think about the journey that’s brought him to this day - the years of separation from you, the trials faced, the things he’s done in the darkest chapters of his life. The loved ones he’s lost along the way.

Sarah’s face flashes in his mind, her soft eyes and gentle smile beaming at him, and he bows his head, sighing.

“Y’alright?” Tommy asks.

“Yeah,” Joel mutters.

He takes in a slow, deep breath, steadying himself against the swirl of emotions he can already feel lingering in the dark corners, brewing, flexing their claws ready to tear deep gashes in his skin. They never really leave.

Tommy finishes manipulating the tie and he taps Joel’s shoulder affectionately when it’s done.

Joel turns to the small, chipped shaving mirror to get a better look at it, and hums in a mirthed satisfaction. “It’ll do.” He supposes.

“M’happy for you, Joel.” Tommy says, and Joel glances up at him through the mirror. “Ya deserve it, some peace. A good woman to come home to who’ll rub ya feet.”

“She hates feet.” Joel states rather po-faced.

Tommy smiles, breaking into an airy chuckle and so does Joel. The chortles between them sounding so foreign despite their intensity as they mutate into wheezed laughter.

And then Joel does something he feels like he hasn’t done for a long time, and should probably do more often.

He pulls his younger brother Tommy into a tight, binding hug.

“I love ya, man.” Tommy says.

“You too.” Joel mutters.

“C’mon, let’s get ya married.” Tommy states, clapping his back like thunder.

Tables adorned with scavenged tablecloths showcase a humble feast of canned goods, preserved fruits, and perhaps a few hunted game offerings in the Tipsy Bison.

The survivors of the commune, dressed in their best makeshift attire, share muted stories, laughter, and the precious company of one another, forming a close-knit family that has thrown up two fingers in the face of adversity as they pack out the chairs just outside the bar, some standing at the back of the makeshift aisle as the whole commune comes to bear witness.

The nip in the air has them huddling in coats and scarfs, but the atmosphere is incredibly warm and inviting.

Guthrie stands at the head of the trellis, bible in hand and in his smartest pressed shirt ready to officiate in a world where laws are just spoken words now instead of legal documents.

But it doesn’t matter, because in matters of the heart, it's more than binding.

Tommy and Joel wait in front of him. Maria sits with her baby bouncing on her knee, cooing quietly. Max looks on from the opposite side of the trellis, wearing an excited grin that makes his jaw ache.

Hands clasped in front, Joel’s fingers twitch as he clears his throat nervously.

“Not long now, brother.” Tommy says, clapping him on the back again, and Joel swallows thickly through the heavy wind of it.

As Joel stands at the makeshift altar beneath the trellis arch he’d spent days carving intricately, adorned with the dried flowers collected by good natured souls, the weight of the moment presses upon him.

The air, usually filled with the festive sounds of the commune, now feels dense and stifling around him. The tie feels tight once more at his throat as he swallows with a now dry, grazed windpipe.

The trepidation that’s lingered in the corners of his mind crystallises into an overwhelming wave of anxiety. And he hears that little voice creep up again from behind his shoulders.

She’s not coming, Joel. She doesn’t love you. She could never love you.

His heart races, the sound echoing in his ears like a distant drumbeat. The gentle flutter of muted conversations around him and the soft whispers of the cool, crisp breeze seems to amplify, creating a disorienting cacophony that pierces his eardrums.

Joel's breaths become shallow, each inhale a struggle against an invisible force tightening around his chest. Each breath in seems to scrape against his throat, the air refusing to fill his lungs with ease like it once did.

Joel's hands, usually steady and weathered by years of survival, betray him as they tremble uncontrollably. Eyes fixed on the path where you’ll soon walk towards him, Joel feels the world closing in, seeming to warp and contort, and the edges of his vision blur like a watercolour painting in the rain.

The trellis arch, once a symbol of hope and new beginnings containing his blood, sweat and tears, now seems to loom overhead, threatening to crush him; its shadow dancing with an unsettling rhythm.

The vibrant colours of the flowers mutate into a disorienting palette, dying and crisping before his eyes, and the string lights flicker like lightning, their glow suddenly too harsh, too bright.

Dizzy, he sways as he clutches at his chest, and feels Tommy pressing up against him, like a weighted tackle.

“Joel! Joel!”

His voice is distant, sounding further and further away as Joel spirals, the ground coming up fast; his knees cracking against it.

She could never love you, Joel! Not after everything you’ve done!

Rampant beads of sweat form on Joel's forehead, his hands clammy as they tightly grip on the edges of Tommy’s jacket as he wheezes.

The weight of the moment, the culmination of years of separation and the scars etched into your shared history, bare down on him.

The fear of losing this newfound happiness seizes him in a vice grip until it chokes the life out of him and it all goes black.

Told you Joel.

Told you that you were going to die alone...

He wakes to the sound of continual beeping in his ears.

Beep-beep-beep-beep...

Heavy headed and with a really dry mouth, he sits up to feel a hand pressing gently against his bare sternum.

Following the path of it, the arm adorned in faded lace, he finds your face, pressed tight in its worry and concern.

He did it, he let you down. Completely and irrevocably, just like he knew he would.

“Slowly,” you ease, as he sits himself upright against a pillow that feels like it's barely there.

“Don’t fuss, m’alright.” Joel sighs, glancing down at his chest, shirt open and no sign of his damned tie. “S’all this?” He tweaks at the wires curiously stuck to his chest.

“They thought you might have had a heart attack.” You say, gravely.

“What?” His eyes widen and snap to yours.

“It was a panic attack, Joel.” You say, softly. “You’re okay.”

He frowns, his eyes shying away from yours. He feels your fingers knotting into his hand, thumb stroking reassuringly over the thick gristle of his knuckles.

“I ruined our day,” he mutters through clenched teeth.

“No. You didn’t." You shake your head. "Hey, look at me.” You sway.

“I can’t. M’not supposed to see ya yet.”

“Joel. Look at me.” You press, delicately.

Slowly, he finds the courage to face you, head on, and he can’t believe what he sees. You, staring at him with the same adoration you’ve had etched into your features since the very beginning.

From that moment your eyes met when you were flighty, little things, when the world was kinder and had less teeth.

The same way you looked at him when you bumped into him outside The Tipsy Bison all those months ago, stunting him and making him believe that a bland, beige thing such as a miracle could really exist.

You, looking at him with those same adoring eyes when he made love to you again, after all those years that had passed between you. Decades of swampy regret and missing pieces that no-one else could really fit into or fill; connected with you again on some other level that could only transcend his mere understanding.

And he knows he's undeserving. That even though he shouldn’t listen to it, that insidious little voice is right. He doesn't deserve you looking at him like this.

But he never wants you to stop.

“Ya look… so beautiful, darlin’,” he chokes out.

You smile and pat his stacked chest. “You scrub up pretty well yourself, Mr Miller.”

You lean forward and place a kiss on his temple, just below the spikey, flower-shaped scar.

Joel closes his eyes, savouring the feel of you, your breath settling into his pores. Inhaling the smell of fragrant soap on your skin; the scent of the lavender perfume that’s made in the commune and dessciates the pillows in your bed.

“Ya got all prettied up for me.” He says looking up at you, fingers brushing against the side of your cheek with a dusting of powder to accentuate your skin tone, and a light sheen of highlighter that makes you glow. “Ya glowin’.” He confirms, awestruck.

His lips find yours, tasting the balm on them. Your fingers scratch in the waves behind his ears; his once slicked back hair now ruffled and fluffy again behind his ears.

“Everyone knows? They saw, I-”

You smile, softly. “It’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, Joel. They were all worried, because they care about you.”

He frowns again and squeezes your hand. “M’sorry. Don’t want ya to worry.”

“Too late. You’re stuck with my worry.” You smile.

“S’not too late, ya know.” He says, tentatively with a small voice.

“Too late for what?”

He sighs heavily. He turns towards the machine that’s beeping annoyingly in his ear and jabs at a button, but it doesn’t silence it.

“If you even think about saying what I think you’re going to say, you’ll be spending months in here, Joel. Multiple broken bones.” You warn and he shakes his head, unable to contain the small smirk that threatens to tear up the corners of his mouth.

“M’not gonna say it.”

“Good.”

“But, it’s not too late.” He reminds you anyway with a gruff peep.

“Is that what you want?” You question, your heart is already trying to make a run for it out of any orifice that will allow its escape.

“God, no.” He looks at you sincerely, eyes deep and reassuring in their richness. "I always want you."

“Then stop being a dork.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes. “Dork…”

You squeeze his hand and he places his other on top of them both.

“What’d we do now?” He queries and you can still see the weight he carries behind his eyes.

“I have an idea. Can you walk?”

Joel nods as he pulls off the sticky patches from his chest, and the infernal beeping finally stops.

Ashen comes to a halt at your gentle command, and Joel helps you off after dismounting the tan stallion that he rode with you up to the outpost those few months ago.

Since then, settling into a gentle sway of life in the commune had been a constant that you never knew you needed, or missed so much, as you began building a new life with Joel by your side.

But there was a mild fidget in you that couldn’t be settled; a part of you that always remained on alert, and Joel sensed it in you because that same sense lingered in him too.

Life experience had taught you both not to rest so easily, to leave a limb out of the tub and not fully submerge; to leave a backpack stocked with supplies by the door in case you had to go quickly in the night.

Old habits die hard.

But shared with Joel made them easier to accept, to shoulder the weight equally instead of alone. It could be left placed and fuzzy, in the peripherals to fade out for a while, but it was always there.

You both walk a few paces up a short incline, your dress is covered by a coat and scarf, and Joel’s shirt has been rebuttoned with a sweater and a coat of his own thrown over the top.

You feel the heavy weight of the handgun in your pocket, knocking against your thigh. Joel’s own is holstered to his waist under his coat.

The wind is a little harsher in its nip up here, but the view is worth it.

Looking down into the valley, the Wyoming mountains spread out in the distance with their snowy caps like shark's jaws on the landscape; the commune seems like a tiny dot in the centre of the horizon.

“It’s beautiful, no?” You say wistfully, as the wind pulls tendrils from your styled hair that stick to your lips.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Joel says, his arms wrapping around you. You feel him plant a kiss on the side of your cheek and it warms you, from your toes up.

“Look,” you say to him, and you pull him gently with you towards the shelter of a large tree, its branches, almost shed full of its leaves, swaying rhythmically in the breeze.

Under the canopy of the majority of its stripped branches, your fingers place Joel’s onto the rough ridges of the bark, trailing them towards some carvings.

“What's this?” He asks as he studies the letters.

“You made the trellis for me, for us in our garden. Well, this is my wedding gift to you.” You say with a warm smile.

Joel runs his fingers over the letters, a familiar S as he reads the name Sarah carved into the wood. Underneath, another name is carved. Kelper.

“This is what ya did with my “missin'” tools, hmm?” He queries with a cocked brow.

You grin coyly. “If I told you my evil plan, you'd have put the kibosh on it.”

“S’like ya know me so well,” Joel nods. “Ya came out here by yourself?” He frowns.

“I’m a big girl, Joel.” You remind him and he reluctantly nods after gritting his teeth.

He glances up to see ribbons fluttering in the breeze, and reaches up to feel their silkiness between his fingers.

“Ya did this, for me?”

You nod. “This is the highest tree in the valley. I’ve been all over this valley the past few months trying to find the perfect one. I was safe… Sal was with me.” You assure him when you see his nostrils flare.

You turn to look at the names on the tree. “They’re both looking down on us, Joel. From all the way up here. Sarah and Kelper.”

“Darlin’,” he says, as your eyes mist over.

He reaches for your hand and pulls you in close. He looks at the names on the tree, smiling into your hair as he imagines Sarah indeed looking down on him and smiling proudly.

At least, he hopes he’ll be able to make her proud going forward - the past, he’s doubtful about that.

“Ya amaze me every day.” Joel says.

“I just wanted a place that was ours, to remember them. They should both be here today. And this way... it’s like they are.”

Joel nods. “Marry me, here.”

“Right here, now?”

He nods as he strokes your arms. “Yeah… feels perfect. With them.”

You smile at him, wondering how you made it. Wondering how life, despite it's cruelty, had given you this perfect morsel of happiness.

“Have you got the rings?” You ask him.

He fishes into his jeans pocket and opens his palm to reveal two gold bands. Both a little misshapen from years of wear.

“I wonder who they belonged to,” you say, smiling at the metal hoops looking so dainty and small in his gargantuan palm.

“Two people that were very much in love, I reckon.”

“Yeah. They were. Utterly mad for each other.” You agree.

“Probably drivin' each other mad too,” he smirks.

“You like it when I keep you on your toes.” You remind him starkly and with a brewing grin.

“Mm-hm.” He murmurs. “Like a hole in the head.”

You reach into his palm and take the bigger ring and take his opposite hand in yours.

You glance at the tree for a moment, smiling, remembering. Then you look up at Joel. Look at the man who carried you on through this world, even if he wasn’t physically there for most of it.

“Joel,” you begin, letting the words flow freely. “I never thought in my wildest dreams we’d be here. I never thought that all those years of fighting, surviving… enduring. I never thought that they’d lead me back to you. Fate sure is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

“I sure as hell ain’t laughin’.” He says and you smirk.

You place the ring on his thick finger, sliding it all the way down. “I love you.” You say looking at him. “I’ve always loved you. I will always love you, until I die. And even then, I’ll still love you, Joel.”

Blushing, he smiles. Then he takes your hand, the remaining ring poised at the tip of your finger.

“Darlin’... I don’t think there’s anythin’ I could say that would make it feel truly real. Still feels like a dream sometimes. But then I wake up, and ya there beside me. And I don’t know how that happened, not really. It’s somethin’ I just can’t even wrap my head around, y’know?” His voice carries a blend of warmth and sincerity.

“I know.” You smile.

“Two lucky son’s o’ bitches. But you’re real, you’re here. I found ya. God willing, I fuckin’ found ya again. And I promise to cherish ya, darlin’, in all ya strength n’ vulnerability. Your stubbornness-”

You giggle and he smiles, tucking a wisp of wayward hair behind your ear.

“You're my home in this unpredictable world… I love ya, darlin’. Not just for who ya are, but for who we've become together." He gulps, holding back a choke as you watch his eyes glisten.

"Ya make... ya make me a better man. The kind of man I wanna be for ya. M'bound to ya. Ya have me bound to you, forever.”

“Joel,” you say as your own eyes water, and he bends to kiss you, taking your lips in his as the wind whips around you both, and pulls you tight into his warmth. Pulls you deeper into his heart.

I knew he was a good man, Goose.

You glance over Joel’s shoulder to see Kelper standing there leaning against the tree grinning at you.

You smile, nodding gently at your old friend before closing your eyes, tears falling from them like tiny diamonds scattered over Joel's shoulder, and clinging on tighter to him.

Joel inhales the scent of your hair, holding you hard in his arms as the breeze billows around you both and he swears he's never been more elated, more satiated in his bones and flesh.

If he were to die now, he would die happy, and it's a thought that now comforts him, whereas for so long, it's been one that terrified him.

He lets himself bask, lets himself wander further into this pastel dream and stay there, ruminating for a few more moments in the calm bliss of your arms.

Dad.

He’s roused, eyes snapping open as he hears the familiar voice; a voice he had thought he had forgotten, and then a face he was convinced had slipped his mind also is there, smiling at him.

Familiar eyes, that scent of coconut shampoo filling his nose, and frizzy hair that he could never tame in the way she liked when she was smaller, billows in the wind.

Sarah, his daughter, is smiling at him, clear as day, a few feet in front, and he feels it lurch in his chest.

So do you, as you feel his body stiffen under your embrace, and he steps forward, confused to be met with nothing again.

“Did you…?” Joel murmurs out, his voice lost on a confused gasp.

You turn to see what he’s looking at so intently, but there’s nothing there except the whisper of the wind.

“You alright?” You ask, pulling away from him to look at his face, eyes staring a little way down the hill and filling with water that he frantically blinks away.

“Yeah.” Joel turns to you, stunned and speechless for a few moments. The familiar, expected stab in his heart rearing its ugly head fails to ice him over.

Instead, he feels awash with a sincere warmth, from where it emanates, he’s not entirely sure.

“Y’know what? For the first time in a hell of a long time, I really think I am.” He says.

You smile at him as you nuzzle into his neck.

“Jesus…” he mutters as he wraps his arms back around you. “Thought I saw I fuckin’ ghost for a minute there.”

You smile, knowing that he saw what he needed to. The same as you do when you need it.

He rubs at your back. “S’getting a little cold, we should head back soon.”

“Can we stay up here, just a little while longer?” You ask gently, as you both watch the winter sun setting slowly behind the mountains.

“We can do whatever ya want, darlin’.” Joel murmurs, smiling into your shoulder.

By the time you and Joel made it back, the celebrations had moved into the Tipsy Bison as the expected snow started to billow from the sky.

Candles flicker on the tables, creating an intimate atmosphere that contrasts with the harsh wilderness beyond the commune's borders. Handcrafted Christmas decorations and salvaged ornaments add a touch of festivity to the surroundings, creating a unique blend of the old and the new world.

As the night unfolds, Joel and you move through the crowd, your smiles radiant with the joy of your unity as everyone wants a piece of you both.

The celebrations carry on with a mixture of traditional and improvised festivities - a dance floor, a communal song led by Max and a beaten guitar, with a surprisingly melodic voice which awes you at his secret talent. Guthrie dances with you, twirling you around as you smile and clap.

The large Christmas tree in the corner twinkles with gold, glittery lights that reflect in your eyes as Joel looks into them as he sways gently with you.

Impromptu speeches that celebrate love, survival, and the strength of the human bond follow with laughter, and Tommy leads a toast to the both of you with minimal embarrassment for Joel, much to his relief.

But despite the laughter, the warmth, you catch Joel’s face a little later, and the familiar need for a moment of respite creeps over his features as the frown tugs further at his smile somewhat as the night moves on.

His smile hides years of pain underneath it, convincing you he's fine when you ask him. Some days, he believes it himself.

But he doesn't want to spoil this for you, drag you away, but he also wants to have you to himself; be selfish and attenuate that need that flourishes hot in his veins.

He searches you out as you’re engaging with Sal, Max and Guthrie, and catches your eye, quelling everything loud around him.

In the middle of the chaos, there’s you.

You know him too well, even after three decades of separation, you can still read him without words, and you decide too, that you’ve had enough of smiles and wine.

You both slip out, leaving your expanded family and friends to celebrate as late as they want without you both.

In the secluded corners of your home, away from the festivities, you and Joel allow the weight of your tumultuous journey to fall free from your shoulders and leave it outside.

The echoes of the after-party seem distant, drowned out by the heavy thrumming of your heart in your ears.

Once inside the warmth of your shared home, the safety and privacy of the walls Joel had built once upon a time with his bare hands, those hands of his take to your waist and pull you towards him as he attaches himself to your lips.

He dips and slants, moaning softly against your mouth; pulling your head closer to his with a giant, swamping hand, slipping his other around you and drawing you closer against his taught body that always has a slight tremble to it.

Behind him, the lock on the door clicks shut as you reach for it. Your heart rate speeds up as you melt into him, skin melding together like melted candle wax.

You and Joel are very alone and very close, pushed up tight against one another; bodies reacting and heating up. His broad chest crushes into your own as you feel the increase in his heartbeat against your own rib cage.

You run your hand down his chest towards his groin, searching out that thick hardness you can already feel pressing against you.

Then, you feel him lifting you; arms swooping under you and pulling your feet off the floor.

“Joel!” You squeal as he heaves and steps forward.

"It’s tradition.” He says, stepping forward quickly towards the bedroom.

"Your back!" You wail, giggling.

You cling on around his neck, and he clumsily falls with you onto the bed laughing.

Your hands find his face as he lays on top of you, staring intently into his deep brown eyes.

“What?” He questions as you trace his lips with your fingers, watching as he kisses the tips of them.

“You’re so fucking strong. Do I ever tell you that?” You say with awe.

“Sometimes… not nearly enough.” He chuckles.

“Lay back, old man.” You say, winking at him.

“Oi, less of the old.” He says as you shuffle out from underneath him.

“It’s hot.” You say.

He watches you crawl over him. “Ya wanna be in charge do ya, darlin’?”

“Mm, is your back gonna let you lead?”

He scoffs, and then nods in defeat, retreating hastily backwards on the bed as you straddle him.

“Didn’t think so…” You smile, as you kiss him.

He slips his tongue inside your mouth, the remnants of a few whiskeys in celebration lace his gums.

His hands slide down your waist to cup your ass, squeezing it; pressing you against his crotch as you kiss him deeply, leaning over him. He breaks off, burying his face in the soft column of your throat that feels clammy already with anticipation.

He licks the salt of it, scraping his teeth against the soft perfumed flesh there, licking and nipping, sucking it between his lips hungrily.

"Ya too good to me, darlin’."

You keep your eyes on his face, noticing the way the tip of his tongue teases the middle of his upper lip as he looks hungrily at you. How his Adam's apple bobs with each thick swallow in anticipation.

How those deep, trusting eyes lance at you as you unbutton his shirt.

Joel watches as you trail wet, lingering kisses over his skin; skin mottled with freckles and silvery hairs, a liver spot here or there.

How you kiss and lick each scar delicately that he bears; the one on his hip from where he was shot at on outbreak day. The one where he was gutted trying to save Ellie from raiders.

He shivers as you explore every weak spot he’s ever had, birthing new life into the dead skin.

Watches keenly as you run your tongue around his nipples, sucking over them gently as he hisses in response. Shudders as you kiss down the centre towards his navel, swollen with age around his tummy that you lavish more affection and desire all over, running your cheeks against it.

Joel hitches his breath as you unbuckle his belt and free him from his jeans.

He’ll never get tired of watching you do that, of taking his throbbing, thick cock so slowly and hungrily into your mouth; hearing you whine in satisfaction as you taste him again.

Feeling how it tingles down to the root of him as he slides down your throat and packs you out until you can’t breathe.

He’s moaning like a dying man as you suck him with eyes that meet his with unspoken praise and worship.

He reaches down, weaving through your hair, letting it fall free of the pins that held it precariously in place all day. Combs through it as you lick up the length of him and suckle on the head of his cock, feeling it throughout your own body, the heat travelling in the streams of your arteries.

“Take this off,” he says tugging at the hem of your dress, and you’re soon naked on top of him, bodies growing warm and slick together as you kiss deeply and grind subtly against one another.

“Too long since I was inside ya.” He laments into your ear in a hot whisper.

“It’s only been a couple of days, Joel.” You smirk.

“Too fuckin’ long.” He corrupts.

He runs his thumb over your stiff nipple and cups your breast gently inside his warm palm. "Ya so beautiful, darlin'." He breathes.

He reaches down between your legs and slides his finger against your clit, watching as you jolt with the gentlest of brushes.

“So sensitive, aren’t ya?” He cajoles.

“Mmm,” you nod, hands on his chest as he slips in; finger stroking inside your wet folds.

He pulls out and slips another one in, marvelling at how you arch and mewl above him as he pumps slowly.

You wind you hips, pushing against his fingers as he fucks you keenly with them. Pressing deep against the right spots and stroking you closer with each curl of them.

“Look at you, so fuckin’ beautful.” He groans. "All for me, all mine."

“Joel, I’m gonna come,” you moan, fingers gripping into his chest meat as you feel yourself bunching tight already.

Grabbing his cock, he guides his engorged head between your puffy, wet pussy lips in place of his fingers.

“If ya gonna come, ya come on my cock, darlin’.” He pushes in gently, thick head notching into you slowly, letting you suck him in. Sliding slowly and purposefully so you can feel all of him.

Savouring, appreciating, falling further with you.

“Joel!” You gasp, the pinch of him still present as he enters; a sensation that’ll never falter.

He reaches up, mouth grazing over your breast, nipple between his teeth and gently sucks as you slide down the full length of him, taking him in deep, where he belongs.

Joel belongs inside of you.

He pulls you up, large hands crossed around your lower back as he lifts you up and down on his cock, sliding almost the full way out, leaving just the head precariously lipped inside you, until he brings you back down onto the full hilt of him, bottoming out each time he does it.

He grunts with you; warm breaths pelted into your skin like ink blots where they spread, staining you with him.

He begins slow, measured thrusts up into you; you push back, grinding with him, the tightness of your hole now slickly wonderful around his thick cock. He draws out a few inches at a time before pushing in deep, to the sound of plentiful, needy whines from you.

“Fuck, ya feel so good around me, darlin’,” he groans into your chest.

Laying back, giant hands caressing your breasts, he lets you work, lets you take control. Watches keenly, as you ride him deeply, with a heated fever as the sweat starts to slick down your back.

His hips push up to meet you when he senses you’re losing it, losing your control as your gasps pitch higher, becoming more frantic in their raspiness as your cunt tightens around him.

“Joel!” You gasp like you’re sobbing; the cadence stripped from your throat as he grunts in agreement with you at how good it feels, how good it feels to have you on the end of his cock soaking him with all the pleasure that he feeds you.

And it’s something he’ll never tire of. He’ll never want to stop giving you this, giving you all of him.

“There ya go, darlin’...” He ushers. "Ya close, ain't ya?"

“Mmm, yeah…” You can feel it, that glitter starter to gather under your eyelids, the bones in your spine pulling tight and ready to crack open the moment that hot bolt travels down it and into your core.

He winds you tighter around that spool, the slack almost unbearable. Your toes curl inwards, your thighs shake and your whole body tenses up.

"Come for me!" Joel growls, encouragingly.

Over and over he fucks into you, his fingers digging into your hips where they’ll leave bruises that he’ll kiss later.

Your voice is shaking as you stutter incoherently, a babbling mantra of his name. “Joel, Joel, Joel…”

“Ya keep sayin’ my name. This cock s'makin’ ya feel really good, hmm?” He grunts into your face.

“So good, Joel… Oh my God, don’t stop!”

“Are ya gonna come for me? Ya gonna come all over my cock, darlin’?”

“Yeah… I’m coming. I’m coming, Joel! Fuck!”

A warm, desperate shudder pours out of you at his command; your entire body convulses, fingers gnarl around his skin. You cry out, your lungs disintegrate into mottled dust as it leaves you; punching that glitter out of your back once more into the air for you to breathe in and choke on the metallic fragments.

“That’s it. Give it to me… All over me. Like that. Don't stop comin’."

His lips chase yours, brushing sweetly against them with a peck and smooch to remind you he’s still there; your tether, no matter how high you fly above him.

You clutch onto his shoulders, nails digging into the tanned skin as he pushes you back down on his cock, filling you up again. The constant symphony of his pants fill your ears, that subtle weakness in them; that tremor at the back of his throat as he draws closer to his finish.

“That, right there… fuck,” he grunts.

“That feel good?” You groan as your hips swivel intently.

“Yeah… s’way ya look at me like this.” He moans.

“How do I look at you, Joel?” You breathe.

“Like ya love me.” His voice cracks at the sound of it in the air. The realisation, the acceptance, The finality of his being.

“I do love you. I love you so fucking much.” You gasp.

“I love ya too, darlin’. Fuck, do I love you! Shit!” He strains, his muscles pulling tight, the tension in his jaw locking.

“Come for me, fill your wife up, Joel.” You urge.

"Fuck!"

He yanks you towards him, face tumbling into him as he catches you in a kiss as he whines against your lips as he comes deep inside you. Soft whines flow from his plush mouth into yours as he twitches and empties.

His thrusts gently still to an eventual stop, feeling the warmth of his spend flooding around his cock inside you.

He kisses you intently and for what feels like a lifetime, just connected to him; breathing him in down into your respiratory system where he'll always stay.

You stroke away the sweaty, grey curls from the sides of his face and temples, and he smiles at you; a smile he saves only for you, with glittery eyes.

You glance at the clock on the bedside table reading just after midnight, and smile excitedly at him.

“You know what day it is today, right?” You query with a grin, resting your chin on your hands as you lay across his chest, still connected with him inside you.

“Right now, I don’t even know my damned name.” Joel breathes with a heavy chortle.

You feel him slip out as he laughs, the wet warmth of him dripping out of you. “Jesus, ya kill me.”

“It’s Christmas Day.” You whisper to him, and he runs his thumb against your lower lip, watching as you kiss it gently.

“Well then, Merry Christmas, Mrs Miller.” He smirks, crushing you further into his chest.

You beam back at him, finally understanding your place in the world.

Finally understanding why you endured and survived as you take his hand in yours, the glint of your mutual wedding rings reflecting in the dim glow from the string lights outside the window.

You know it was to get to this exact moment, right here, where you're in Joel’s arms again, and nothing can get you anymore. Nothing.

Smiling, you lean up to your husband’s face and kiss him gently on the lips.

“Merry Christmas, Joel.”

The End

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Thank you for taking the time to read my story; it really means so much to me. I'd love to know your thoughts, and I'd really appreciate a re-blog so others can enjoy this story too. Thank you so much 🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: If you'd like to be removed, please let me know.

Tagging everyone who was tagged in the original series.

@secretelephanttattoo @morgaussy @darkheartgatita @sp00kymulderr @survivingandenduring @sin-djarin @lilmizmoz @yazsos @ryangoslingstanktop @barbellpedro @givemeth @anavatazes @alwaysmicado @the-blind-assassin-12 @kirsteng42 @missredherring @gasolinerainbowpuddles @millennial-teenybopper @maggiemayhemnj @harriedandharassed @stevie75 @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @chaoticfestninja @reddedmiller @doughmonkey @sonderosa @magpiepillsjunior @chronically-ghosted @pedroswife69 @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @marisemonteiroo @everythingiwanttoread @jjhayhay20 @nerdieforpedro @perennialdoll247 @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @sscorpiiio @untamedheart81 @srmacaroni @violinchick @orcasoul @lucyeyelesbarrow @mandrillusphinx @loveisacowboyyy @suzmagine @disassociation-daydreams @anoverwhelmingdin @within-the-depths

#joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller tlou #the last of us #the last of us fic #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #christmas stories #five days series #jett's writing

[calcifiedunderland]

Pride and Prejudice: A TWSTed AU

The Schemer of the Scalding Sands: J. Viper

Introduction, or pick another route!

Jamil x GN Reader

Warnings: Najma and Kalim are wingmen, Jamil insults you Darcy-style (he doesn’t mean it <3 ), P&P-level angst, descriptions of being extremely high in the air (magic carpet ride <3 )

Notes: ngl i became a jamil stan while writing this fic

———

Kalim was being quiet, Jamil thought as he glanced at the clock. Too quiet.

It was late evening, and usually around this time Kalim would be knocking on Jamil’s dorm room asking for him to cook something. Or for homework help. Or to plan a party. Or all three, plus something else. Usually, Jamil couldn’t go more than half an hour without Kalim coming around, but this evening had been oddly peaceful, so something had to be afoot.

He pushed away from his desk and headed down the hall to the dorm leader’s room, pressing an ear against his door. Good, he’s in the room. Judging by Kalim’s voice, he wasn’t in immediate danger. Good, good. Still, he should just make sure. He rapped his knuckles against the door and walked in without waiting, “Kalim, I came to check-“

He stopped in shock, eyes widening and a frown forming. Kalim was on his stomach on his bed video chatting with someone on his phone, legs kicking in the air cheerfully. That was all fine, except-

“Najma?!” Jamil screeched, diving to Kalim to get a better look. “Why are you calling Kalim?!”

“Dude, calm down,” Najma deadpanned. Kalim grinned, “yeah, it’s all fine Jamil! We were just talking about you actually-“

“What?!” Jamil wrenched the phone from Kalim, and dodged his hands. “Najma! You should be doing your homework not talking to Kalim-“

“Jamil can you relax?” Najma drawled, leaning back on her bed. “I just called Kalim to see if you were actually doing your job.” Not really, it was to make sure Jamil wasn’t overstressing himself. Clearly he was. She suddenly smirked, and changed the topic. “Kalim said you were close to that (name) person you brought to the Yasamina Silk festival. They seemed cool, but now they seem great.”

Jamil was indignant. “Don’t listen to him Najma. And Kalim! You-!” Jamil turned to glare at him, then immediately calmed his voice and face. “You should eat something, it’s getting late.” Kalim’s eyes widened and he looked at the time, “you’re right! We should see if the rest of the dorm is hungry too! We could all have dinner together!” He dashed out of the room without waiting for Jamil, who sighed and turned back to Kalim’s phone. “I’d better go after him, take care of yourself, Najma.” “Okay, bye~”

Najma sighed and slumped against her bed. Jamil seems to really like this (name), and they seemed pretty nice when we met. Not to mention, Jamil seemed happy they were there… it’d be nice for him to loosen up too. In the very few times he’d spoken about you to her, he seemed… almost cheerful. Very unlike the high-strung, perfectionist brother she knew. Even though Jamil was still her older brother, she still worried about him a little bit. It’d be nice if he had someone to loosen him up, who he genuinely liked.

She thought back to the festival, where you and Jamil shared a melon with one another. Sure, you may have not known that one Scalding Sands legend, where if you shared that melon with someone, your friendship (or romance!) would last forever. Or maybe you did know.

Either way, she knew her brother well enough that he wouldn’t slip up with splitting the melon like that. He may not believe in superstition, but a Scalding Sands legend was still a legend.

She thought for a bit, and then smirked and picked up her phone. Oh yeah. It’s all coming together. She just needed to get Kalim on board now.

———

Jamil was staring at you again.

It was out of the corner of his eye, and he kept looking away, but you just knew. Because he’d been doing it for the past few months, ever since the Scalding Sands event you’d crashed with Grim.

Granted, you were surprised he even let you go with him and Kalim, given how annoyed he looked at the extra guests (between you two, Trey, Cater, and Malleus, it was an unforgettable trip indeed). And you and Jamil sort of reached a… truce, of sorts, after his overblot.

You didn’t know how you felt ever since he’d basically imprisoned you and Grim in Scarabia, and all the things he’d said about you. Sure, after all of that went down, you were pissed and a little hurt. You’d thought that you’d made a friend in a new dorm, (two, counting Kalim, who really was your friend) but instead he was just using you. And now, the two of you were in a strange stalemate, and surprisingly, saw each other somewhat often.

While running odd errands for Crowley, sometimes you passed by the gym. You’d see Ace and Floyd, and also Jamil playing basketball, and invariably Jamil would become distracted. Floyd even loudly complained about that when a stray shot from Jamil hit him in the head. Then, at some point he’d offered to tutor you in Alchemy, saying that Kalim needed help too, so he’d just be getting two birds with one stone. And then Kalim would throw parties practically every fortnight and sic Jamil on your tail, begging you to come.

You supposed Kalim felt extremely grateful for helping him understand Jamil, but frankly you wanted to be left in peace. Still, when you did accept Kalim’s invitation, you sort of… enjoyed the small talk you made with Jamil, commenting on his cooking and sometimes helping him in the kitchen to get away from the crowds. At some point, the two of you even began meeting up to just… vibe.

Sometimes you’d meet with him in the kitchens, watching him cook while you did your homework, and occasionally cook with him. At some point, you’d take over from him and cook in his place, just to give the poor guy a break. This wasn’t something you took lightly, given how overprotective Jamil was over Kalim - the two of you reached a nice… whatever it was.

Still, you felt like he was uneasy around you. Why else would he keep staring at you, hovering over you, and ask you pointed questions? One moment he’d be more lax around you, chatting and bantering, and the next he’d be… venomous. It wasn’t like you could tell anyone about his overblot. You technically didn’t exist in this universe, anyway, so his secret was safe with you.

You heard a knock coming from the Ramshackle front door, and went to open it. In front of you stood Kalim and Jamil. Wait, no… sat.

They were both seated on Kalim’s flying carpet, the Housewarden beaming at you while Jamil looked tired and a bit peeved. “Hey, (name)!” The carpet waved its tassels at you. “Hey guys, I’m fine, but… why are you here?” Kalim grinned sunnily at you, “we wanted to see you! You should take a break and walk with us!” You glanced at Jamil, who was a little quiet, looking at you intently.

“I can’t, I’m…” you failed to think of an excuse, kicking yourself mentally, “…alright, sure.” Ugh, why did you agree?

Kalim cheered, and the three of you went along the path outside of Ramshackle. Kalim insisted that Jamil stayed on the carpet, even after he suggested he walk with you. “(Name), you should sit with us!” He smiled at you, something mischievous in his eyes. That’s a little… odd? Although it was Kalim after all. He did have some impulsive tendencies.

You gently took Jamil’s hand, surprised he’d even offered to help you up, and sat carefully on the carpet. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jamil flex the hand he held yours with. You scoffed, “dude, I don’t have rabies or anything. You’re not infected with my hand.” Jamil frowned and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Kalim jumped off the carpet. “Now, remember what we talked about! Go, carpet!”

Immediately, the carpet lurched forward. “Kalim, what did you do?!” Jamil gasped as the carpet began rising higher and faster. Your eyes widened and you instinctively grabbed the front of the carpet, “KALIM! Jamil stop the-!” You were cut off as the carpet zoomed up into the sky, leaving no trace except your shrieks and Jamil’s shouts. Nonetheless, Kalim smiled proudly at his handiwork, now Jamil and the Prefect can have some quality time together! Pleased, he pulled out his phone.

Kalim: its done! Jamil and (name) are in a whole new world of love now!!!!!!! \^o^/

On the other end of the chat, Najma grinned, and texted back:

Najma: YESSSSSSSS all according to plan >:)

———

You had been through a lot when you first arrived to NRC. Between living in Ramshackle, fighting overblots, dodging Floyds and Rooks, and shouldering Crowley’s responsibilities, you’ve dealt with your fair share of wildness.

But this? This was new.

You screamed as the carpet seemed to lurch higher and higher into the air, gripping the front of it for dear life. Your stomach flip-flopped wildly, and you tried to not projectile vomit in mid-air. The air rushed past your ears, cold and practically ripping through your skin. You could barely hear anything over the sound of wind, let alone Jamil yelling beside you.

At last, the carpet settled, and you felt extremely lightheaded. Your brain was static at this point, and you moved to lean on both hands when Jamil grabbed your wrist. “Do not look down.”

Well damn, you can’t tell me what to do, Jamil. That made you immediately look over the edge, and you regretted it instantly. The school was barely larger than a postage stamp, and you could practically see the borders of Sage’s Island with how high up you were. It was chilly too - you both were surrounded by clouds, and it was darker than you’d thought. It was probably about to rain - not that you’d know, being above the damn rainclouds.

Beside you, Jamil was beyond exasperated. If he seemed tense before, now he was just pissed. His hand on your wrist tightened, and he leaned closer to you. “Don’t. Look down.” His eyes flashed angrily at you, and you withered under his gaze, gripping the carpet tighter. He turned his eyes to your hands, gently putting his hands over yours.

“Look, I’ll steer the carpet downward, but you need to follow my lead.” He made you look at him. His dark eyes held your gaze, and for a moment you really did feel like you were in the clouds. That the world was just you and Jamil, high above everything on this terrifying carpet ride.

“Do you trust me?” You saw his lips move, but it sounded far away, like he was speaking through water. Maybe it was the altitude messing with your head, but Jamil looked so focused on you. You’d never seen him look at anything like this, so gently.

“Do you trust me?” Jamil tightened his hands over yours, and you were brought back to reality. You nodded, and he sighed. “Good. We’re going to go forward.” Carefully, he tipped the carpet, and you took in a sharp breath when you went forward. The two of you inched downwards, and the school became larger and larger until finally you both touched down in Scarabia.

Jamil clasped your hand in his and lead you off the carpet, silent. He had a deep frown on his face, and his dark eyes were even stormier than the skies. He didn’t get off the carpet with you, but clenched his hands after he helped you off. This was the second time it’s happened, he doesn’t think you have cooties or something right?

“Thanks, Jamil…” You looked at him, hoping he’d maybe lighten up a bit now that you were on the ground, but he refused to look at you, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Just… stay here. I’m going to put the carpet away, just…I don’t need any more trouble.” As he walked away, you felt his words settle heavily in your gut. I’m just trouble for him? It’s not like I caused the carpet to go sky-high…

Still, you sat on the luxurious couch in the Scarabia common room, and tried to relax. Surprisingly, it was quiet - it seemed that everyone had gone to bed. It was a nice change from Ramshackle, at least. You shut your eyes, beginning to feel tired. After a while, you groggily awoke to a mop of white hair and red eyes exclaiming at you.

“(Name)! What are you doing here?! What about Jamil?! I thought you were up in the sky on your magic carpet ride!” Kalim blabbered while you tried to get your bearings back. He seemed… worried? He put his hand to his chin, thinking. “Well, maybe I could find an empty room and put you both in it-“

“Kalim.” The Housewarden immediately fell silent, spinning to Jamil with wide eyes, smiling at him. “Jamil! Don’t worry, we can still fix this!” Jamil’s frown deepened in confusion, “Kalim, what are you-“ “And the Prefect is still here!” Kalim pointed at you, and you went on alert as Jamil zeroed in on you, seemingly forgetting you were still here.

Kalim continued cheerfully, eyes steeling in happy-go-lucky determination. “And there’s still time! You can get back out on the carpet, there’s still stars out!” Jamil wrenched his eyes back to Kalim, mouth curling into a snarl and arms tensing. “Kalim, what are you talking about?”

“To confess!”

The silence was stifling. You stared wide-eyed at Jamil, who stared incredulously at Kalim, who still smiled innocently. Finally, Jamil seemed to temper himself and said through gritted teeth, “Kalim, go back to your room.”

Kalim placed his hands on his hips, “no way! We still have to-“ “Kalim.” Even though you didn’t know either of them as long as they knew each other, something in Jamil’s voice sapped Kalim of his energy. Kalim’s eyes widened, and after a moment, he left the room. You opened your mouth, but didn’t know what to say.

You watched as Jamil sighed irritably, running a hand through his long bangs. You slouched on the Scarabia couch, watching him pace and huff to himself. What had you done to earn his annoyance? He’s the one who basically kidnapped you on a flying rug. Surely he couldn’t dislike you that much.

“Kalim doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” he said at last, and you frowned deeply. “What? Kalim isn’t stupid, Jamil,” you said sharply, losing your patience, “and what in Seven’s name is up with you?

“Look, you’re-“ Jamil stopped, clearing his throat. He smoothed over his expression, face becoming the usual calm-and-composed Vice Housewarden that he always showed to the world, but not you. “Nothing is wrong.” You finally snapped, exhausted and utterly spent, “what is going on? You’ve been acting weird with me ever since winter break!” Jamil grit his teeth, but you continued. “What is your deal, Jamil?! I thought we were friends! What have I done to make you hate me this much?!”

“You’ve been a thorn in my side since you’ve come here!” Jamil yelled, stopping pacing in front of you. His chest heaved, and he had that angry-crazed look on his face he always got when exasperated. “You’re too clever for your own good! And ever since my…” he swallowed, starting to lose his momentum as he realized what he was saying, “last winter, you’ve shown yourself to be someone…interesting.” Finally, he seemed marginally calmer. “And… I don’t think I could’ve dealt with all of this without you, even though you’re the last person who I thought could help.”

Your frown deepened. You opened your mouth to say something, but Jamil hurriedly continued, shutting his eyes. “Look, I know that I inconvenienced you, but… you’re always on my mind, when I should be thinking about attending Kalim. You’re-“

“Alright, that’s it.” You stood up from the couch, and walked off without sparing a glance. Jamil stopped, sputtering, and cried out “you’re just going to leave?!” You spun on your heel, glaring at him. “Yes! I’m leaving so I don’t cause a bigger mess!” Jamil shut up immediately, and you stalked to him, poking his chest hard. “You have done nothing but insult me. What happened today, with the carpet, was not my fault. If anything, you made me into a thorn in your side.” He flinched, but you blazed on. He didn’t get to hurt and belittle you.

“You hurt the entire dorm with your overblot,” you seethed, “and you didn't inconvenience me. You imprisoned me and Grim in your little scheme. And I have tried to be nice to you since then, and I thought we were becoming friends, but you just seem to hate me every time you see me. So fine,” you backed off, throwing your hands up as you left, “I’m leaving, Jamil. I’m leaving.”

Jamil didn’t know how long he stood there after you’d left. The Scarabia common room seemed to get chillier as the night passed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to go back to his dorm. At some point, he found himself on the couch drifting in and out of sleep, wondering why things were the way they were, and why he just couldn’t be lucky. Before he closed his eyes, utterly defeated, his last thought was, I deserved that. But not them.

———

The next few weeks passed without a hitch, although you were still brimming with dulled hurt every time you saw Jamil and Kalim.

Even though you had nothing against Kalim, Jamil always slunk behind him like a shadow, making you uncomfortable every time the sunny housewarden bounded up to you. Somehow, it felt like Kalim came up to you even more often than before. You’d supposed that maybe Kalim was trying to mend things between you and Jamil, but while he had the best intentions, it was really up to Jamil. Still, you thought, you weren’t exactly kind when you last… spoke to him.

Every time you spoke to Kalim, you tried to gently but firmly turn his invitations down. This time, he seemed adamant that you come to tonight’s party, basically begging you to attend.

“Please, Prefect!” He grabbed your hand pleadingly, “it’ll be fun! The Pop Music club will be playing, and Jamil’s cooking all your favorites-“

“Kalim, let’s go.” You were jarred to hear Jamil speak up, and Kalim actually listen to him rather than brushing it off. Kalim looked at Jamil, who continued, “We need to head back to the dorm and prepare. And…” Jamil avoided your eyes, “please, don’t trouble the Prefect.”

As the two of them left, you felt their absence weigh on you. It had been a while since you’d hung out with Jamil - so you took to cooking alone in Ramshackle or Heartslabyul, and tried studying by yourself. On nights when Scarabia was having a party, you tried to not think about when you and Jamil would hang out in the kitchen, or when you and Kalim would drag him out to the dance floor to loosen up. Still, your Friday nights were getting drearier by the week, even when you tried reading Prejudice and Pride to take your mind off it.

In the gym, the basketball club was in full swing, and Ace and Jamil chatted while passing the ball to each other. “Yeah, sure, I can try to get them to come tonight,” Ace began dribbling the ball, then smirked at Jamil. “Didn’t know you missed them so much though!” Jamil frowned, flushing. “I just… Najma wanted to see them again. That’s all.”

Ace shrugged and passed the ball, “alright, guess I’ll see you later.” Later that day, you frowned at the text you got from Ace, wondering how you should respond. At this point, you’d attempted to avoid Scarabia at all costs, but it had been a while. Even then, you still wanted to see Kalim and Jamil one last time - and at least you’d be with your friends.

Ace: hey theres a party at scarabia tonight, Jamil wants you to go

Ace: so u wanna go or what

You: sure, I’ll be there. Meet u at the mirror in ten

———

You, Grim, Ace, Deuce, and Cater stepped into Scarabia. Immediately Cater ran off to find Lilia and Kalim, and you got separated from Ace and Deuce while trying to cross the dance floor. At some point Grim perked up as he smelled food wafting in the air, and made a beeline for the kitchen. You ran after him, dodging the partygoers (and at some point almost crashing into Lilia, Kalim, and the drum set) until you found yourself standing in the Scarabia kitchen.

Grim bounded over to Jamil, who was standing over the stove stirring a large pot. “Jamil! What’s cookin’?” Grim’s eyes were shining, and he strained to look up. You heard laughter from behind you, and a voice saying “hey, it’s the Prefect!” Jamil’s head snapped back to where you stood. You looked behind you, jaw dropping, “Najma?! What are you doing here?” She grinned at you, and you followed her to Jamil.

“I just wanted to see Jamil! And Kalim said he was having a party today,” she hugged you tightly. “I haven’t seen you since the festival! Jamil keeps talking about you too!” You made eye contact with Jamil over Najma’s shoulder. He looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Najma, let the Prefect go,” Jamil recovered quickly, and she let go reluctantly, pouting. You turned your attention to the pot, “hey, are you making curry? I thought Kalim hated that.”

Grim stood at attention, “whatever it is, I want some!” Jamil sighed, “I already made the food for the party, this is for Najma.” And you, if you showed up. Najma scrunched her nose, “I don’t want that, it’s too… plain.” Plain? You glanced into the very fragrant pot, swirling with spices and oil.

“You’re going to eat. You didn’t have lunch, baba will be mad if he finds out I didn’t feed you,” Jamil spooned some curry onto a plate and Najma crossed her arms. “It’s fine, but you still make your food look too plain. Like, garnish it or something. I know (name) can probably make it better!” She handed the plate to Grim, and as you picked Grim up to place him on a chair to eat, you frowned.

“My cooking isn’t that great, Najma. Jamil taught me some stuff, but still.” Najma looked confusedly at her brother, “but he says you cook so well!” Jamil gaped at her, while your eyes widened. Najma gave her brother a look, and continued, “he loves your cooking! And he said he loves cooking with you! And-”

“Jamil!” Finally you cut her off, as Jamil looked one second away from smothering her, “I didn’t know you liked my cooking?” You felt your nervousness from the party melt, and smiled hesitantly at him. He seemed to soften a little, “Yeah… it’s nice to have the company,” he cleared his throat. Why did it feel so hot in the kitchen?

Najma watched the both of you stare at each other, then clapped her hands together, making you both flinch. “Alright! This is enough. You need to get out.” As she strode out of the kitchen, you both watched her confused. “Najma, where are you going?,” Jamil called, but she didn’t answer. Grim shrugged, finishing off the curry, “Wow! Jamil, the food tasted so good!” You and Jamil stood in silence, before you both opened your mouths to speak.

“Jamil, I’m sorry for yelling-”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you (name)-”

Your eyes widened, and you both fell into an awkwardness. You were about to open your mouth, but then Najma kicked in the door. “Both of you! Out!~” Trailing behind her was… “Why’s the carpet here?!” Jamil yelled, “Najma that’s a precious heirloom of the al-Asim family! You can’t just-!” The carpet wrapped around both of you and Jamil and began pushing you out of the dorm to the outside, being lead by Najma, who cackled gleefully.

“Okay carpet! Two times is the charm! Go!” The carpet seemed to nod? and then unfurled itself from around you two. It swept underneath your and Jamils’ feet, and began rising gently in the air, unlike last time. Jamil was shouting at Najma, looking down but you weren’t focused on him. Rather, you were looking up.

“Jamil,” you nudged him softly. “Not now, Prefect,” he grumbled. “Jamil, look.” He finally sat down on the carpet, and his mouth hung open in shock. The two of you were in the sky again, but not as high this time. All around you, the stars twinkled brightly in the night, and nebulae swirled across the sky. There were barely any clouds. It was slightly chilly, but Jamil’s warmth next to you was enough to keep you fine. Rather, the goosebumps on your arms were from other things.

“It’s beautiful up here,” you breathed, and Jamil glanced at you. “Yeah, it is.” Jamil could feel his stresses slowly dissipate, and while you both were up in the sky, it felt like the world was only you and him, and the twinkling of the stars above you both. His mind wandered to the old Scalding Sands legend. Was this how the princess and her lover felt when they were courting?

You looked over at Jamil, gently grabbing his hand. In the calm of the night, Jamil seemed a little… less put-upon. Like he could finally speak freely. He cleared his throat, lost in thought. “I… got ahead of myself before,” he finally said, shifting uncomfortably on the carpet.

“I never got to tell you, but I’m sorry,” his voice cracked. “I’m sorry for trapping you and Grim in Scarabia. You’re not a thorn in my side, what I meant was… you were always there. And at first, I hated it. I didn’t trust you. You were like a thorn in my side, because you were always there. But…” You waited for him to continue, all the anger and hurt leaving you in the cool night air.

“I began to like your presence. Like I could relax when you were there, because you could help with Kalim, or keep me company while cooking, or just-” Jamil seemed a little choked up now, is he ok? “Be there. I never felt like that… just…-”

“Supported,” you finished, and he nodded, swallowing thickly. You both stayed quiet, until you spoke. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just… You always seemed to either like me or hate me?” You felt jittery just saying it out loud, “sometimes we’d be fine, but sometimes you’d just… avoid me. And it hurt.”

Jamil squeezed your hand softly, and you sighed, “And I never know what you’re thinking. I really don’t know if you just kept me around for Kalim, or if we were actually…” friends. Jamil moved closer to you. “...I do like being with you. I… I do.”

Jamil turned your chin so you’d face him. He took a deep breath, “Kalim wanted me to… confess,” the word sounded like a hiss. “I thought he was getting ahead of himself as usual but then I…” he hesitated, “I realized he was right. And Najma was right. I did… I have feelings for you, and somewhere along the way I started… loving you.” His voice became quiet, and he averted his eyes from yours, as if expecting you to be angry. To his surprise, you weren’t.

You cut him off, gently pressing your lips against his cheek. His eyes widened, barely believing it. Him? Of all people, him?

“I really wanted you to not hate me,” you confessed, face feeling warm despite the chill. “I… really do like you, Jamil. I like what you can do, and I like you. And I think somewhere along the way…”

You squeezed his hand tightly, making him look at you with a smile on your face, “I started loving you too.” You softly closed the distance between you, finally ending the weeks of inner turmoil.

Jamil softly cupped your face, looking into your eyes, then kissed you gently, as if he couldn’t believe that this was real. You wrapped your hand around the hand on your face, squeezing it softly. You were here. You moved to clasp him tighter, and he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you tighter.

Quietly in the chilled night, if anyone cared to look up into the starry sky, they would have seen two newfound lovers finally together, exchanging stolen kisses and chuckling amongst themselves. Lucky for them, the only witnesses to them were the stars above, and two teenagers standing outside Scarabia.

Hands on her hips, Najma proudly stared up into the sky, squinting at the shadowed figures on the carpet. Wordlessly, she held up her hand, and Kalim high-fived her, grinning.

“Mission accomplished!~”

~END

———

Notes: this got so long bc of the introduction with Najma but I just had to include her and Kalim conspiring together! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the Jamil chapter, thank you so much for reading!!!!!!

Taglist: @cerisescherries, @eclecticprincecollector, @ars-tral, @thehollowwriter, @twst-eeps, @casperandcats, @ttokkisbee, @mitsuriswaifu, @parad-ice-lostandfound

@sad-sie, @moyo5653,

(If your username is in bold, it means I wasn’t able to tag you properly 😅)

#twst Pride and Prejudice au #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #jamil viper x reader #jamil x reader #jamil viper #twst jamil #disney twst #twst yuu #scarabia #najma viper #twst najma #kalim al asim #twst kalim #calcified writing

[viviennevermillion]

they're all here because of you

notes: just me bleeding my chronic loneliness and estrangement from people into the malleus x reader oneshot. also the frozen references may have been a little too obvious but at this point you can't tell me this man isn't canonically at least a little bit inspired by elsa.

synopsis: the birthday party at night raven college wasn't quite what malleus had hoped it'd be. luckily you were there to cheer him up.

contains: malleus draconia x gn!reader, hurt/comfort

warnings: angst, themes of loneliness

dark content creators and consumers dni

"They're all here because of you", Lilia had told him with a smile on his face as the students gathered at Diasomnia for his birthday celebration, "look at how many people came to celebrate you even though we're all from different lands and have different ways of life. Isn't this school just a curious place?" Malleus had smiled at the words of the older dragon fae. Indeed, he had been looking forward to another birthday at Night Raven College, especially in his third year when he had talked to more people and experienced more of human life than ever before. He felt honored that the humans had come to celebrate him. That he didn't have to eat the cake alone this time or stare out of the window, wondering if everyone was having fun with the festivities in the village below the castle; while he had to stay inside asking himself what it would be like to join them.

Few had been brave enough to walk up directly to him and wish him a happy birthday. But they're all here because of me, Malleus reminded himself, they're here to celebrate my birthday. If he hadn't come to Night Raven College, there'd be no reason to celebrate his birthday after all.

He observed the humans from a distance; watched as they shared the cake that had been ordered specifically for the birthday celebration. It looked like it would be finished in no time. More than half of it was already gone and Malleus looked pleased. He had overheard several people commenting on how the cake was delicious and he himself found it quite enjoyable. He sat at a table near the window with his own plate in front of him. Sebek sat with him and complimented him but Malleus didn't really listen. Sebek didn't seem to notice nor mind.

Malleus saw how some of the humans took out their phone and took pictures of themselves with the other guests, celebrating and having fun together. He pulled his own phone out of his pocket only to notice it was broken again. When did that even happen this time?, he sighed. He'd have to get a new one sometime soon and find someone to explain Magicam to him, so he could be in the photos and participate in interacting with his classmates online. Malleus thought back to the Halloween week and the "Draconia challenge". That didn't count, right? He felt more like a commodity or a tourist attraction at the time. Was this what being in photos with others was supposed to feel like? Was this how all of them felt too?

They didn't seem unhappy. In fact, a lot of them seemed to have a great deal of fun at his birthday. They had hugged their friends and told each other stories of their latest and most interesting memories. The countries they had seen during their holidays and the parties they had been to recently. They also discussed their plans together for the coming weekends. Malleus smiled. It sounded like a lot of fun.

But the lingering feeling of sadness in his heart stayed. They were all here because of him and yet, as soon as they'd leave the dorm lounge, that too would come to pass. Lilia, Silver and Sebek had been the only ones on this day to hold a longer conversation with him. Most had congratulated him and then moved on to stick to their own groups that they'd share his cake with and celebrate his birthday with. And Malleus was watching. That's all he really did, were he honest with himself.

He remembered the beginning of the school year when he had told you that he quite enjoyed the solitude. Maybe he just really found his own company to be the best he had; liked to stroll through abandoned ruins and ponder the ways of the world in silence. Or maybe, if he truly listened to the voice in his heart for just a moment; instead of pushing it away in hopes to never hear from it again; he'd find that that was not the truth. That sometimes he preferred solitude because it hurt less than this. It was what he was used to and it caused him less pain than the idea of being surrounded by people and alone despite it all.

Had people really come to celebrate his birthday? Or did they simply receive the invitation and felt like celebrating something, anything?

He observed as his human guests giggled about something he didn't understand and put a party hat on one of their friends; teasing them about it. And then he looked at his little table, with his half-finished slice of cake and Sebek rambling on endlessly about how powerful and great he was. He wondered if Sebek had noticed that no one else had sat at their table for the entirety of the celebration. At least he seemed content with it...

Malleus possessed all the power most wizards could wish for, yet he only ever seemed to lose. He felt like he had been born and put on a pedestal to look at and gather around. Like a statue on a busy plaza built to bring a community together but never really meant to be a part of it. Time passed him by like a fleeting shadow and all that remained in the aftermath of inevitable change were ruins. Perhaps that's why he found such comfort in them. They were what would still be here for him when all else faded. When the laughter in the halls had long since stopped to echo, the lights had gone out and the mortal souls that brought life to its corridors, painted the pictures on the walls and grew the vibrant gardens outside had left this world forever; ruins were all that remained. How he wished he'd be able to change along with the world. But time left him behind; always leaving his little world stagnant before he'd one day find it in ruins too.

Maybe things would change once he was king. Or maybe people would always fear Malleus. And Malleus would always fear he'd remain nothing but a statue. Influencing the world but never truly living in it the way everyone around him would.

He was tied to humanity by a cruel string of fate. He'd isolate himself to forget about his pain and forget about all he lacked but once he noticed his retainers were the only ones who'd come looking for him, he'd always crawl back for another try, hoping this time it'd be different. Maybe this time he'd make the friends everyone told him were something he should never miss out on; that this time he'd take the photos he'd look back on for years to come with a smile on his face and celebrate the birthdays that finally truly made him feel valuable for anything but being born as a prince with an insane amount of magic power.

He saw the snow falling outside and got up to excuse himself. This was getting out of hand. Malleus stepped onto the balcony, resting his arms on the balustrade as the soft and cold snowflakes got caught on his horns and in his hair and some of them mixed with the tears running down his cheeks. He knew he needed to get this under control. It wasn't befitting of a prince to cry at his birthday party. Or make it snow outside. He'd only cause trouble for everyone else and ruin the celebration for them. They were all here because of him, at least officially, and he had to treat his guests with the proper respect. He had to put them first and hope that while focusing on making this experience the most enjoyable one for them, he'd distract himself from his own feelings for a while.

"Were you planning to make an ice skating rink for everyone?", he heard a joking voice behind him, one he immediately recognized, "I'm sorry I'm late. Got held up by Crewel after class..." Your voice was soft and you took his hand in yours. You were observant, immediately noticing that he wasn't feeling too well. Seeing the tears on his face just confirmed that. You reached your hand out to cup his cheeks and gently wipe the tears away. "Hey, what's the matter?", you asked with a worried expression on your face, hugging Malleus gently. You could tell how distressed he was from the way he clung to you like you were the lifeline he was so desperately hoping for while drowning in a sea of solitude.

"I apologize", Malleus began, taking your hand in his again, "it's unbecoming of the host of a birthday party to just leave his guests alone like this. Let alone the future king of Briar Valley." You shook your head, squeezing his hand gently. "Your feelings matter too, you know?"

Malleus couldn't help but chuckle. Even Lilia would have tried to convince him to go back to the party and give it another try. You were the only one who made him feel like he really could show his feelings around you. That he could forget about being Crown Prince Malleus Draconia for a moment and just be someone you held dear and talked to about gargoyles and all the curious phenomenons of human society. He looked up to notice the snow had stopped. Or rather, it was frozen in mid-air, as if the storm had quieted down and what was left of it were glistening fragments frozen in time. He looked at your face and the smile you wore made him smile as well. Most were terrified of his magic, yet you reached out to it unafraid and with a sense of curiosity and wonder. You fished some of the ice crystals out of the air and examined them in your hands.

They were melting on your skin and you touched his neck in a fruitless attempt to tease him with your cold hands. Malleus chuckled but quickly returned to his own world where it was mostly him and his thoughts. "Did anyone notice?", he sighed, looking back into the Diasomnia dorm lounge with a longing expression. "I mean Lilia, Silver and Sebek-" "I get it", you recognized the pouting expression on his face. You sighed.

"Do you still want to be here?"

Malleus didn't hesitate; the words leaving his mouth almost like an automated response. "It's my birthday party and my guests-" "Malleus, be honest", you retorted and linked your fingers with his, signaling that you'd be fine with whatever he'd tell you. He hesitated for a while before a quiet "no" left his lips.

"Would you like to take a walk and look at the gargoyles around campus again? Or we could go to the village and browse that antique shop you like. I heard they got new stuff recently", you suggested, still smiling at him softly. Was this really okay?

You reassured him that no one would be mad at him for taking some time to do what felt right for him at the moment. He pulled you into his arms again and whispered a quiet thank you.

About an hour later the two of you were sitting on a bench near the beach of Sage's Island, sharing a big ice cream cup. Malleus loved to listen to your voice as you answered whatever questions he had for you. He had come to this school unsure of what there was left to learn for him, yet you taught him so much about the world in so little time. You were honest and had no issue explaining things to him in great detail, to make sure he really understood what you were talking about. He loved how enthusiastic you were about sharing your world with him. You always seemed so excited whenever he was unfamiliar with something you liked and you were able to show him.

He remembered how alone he had felt among the guests of his birthday celebration. How he felt like the world had been grey and dull in this moment; as he was forced to watch the people around him live each moment like it was the greatest yet. And then you had entered the dorm and brought color to his world. All the guests were there to celebrate his birthday yet he felt like today you were the only one who really saw him. Who pulled him out of his overthinking and told him it was okay to take a break. You pressed a kiss to his forehead and wished him a happy birthday after finishing the ice cream cup; putting it aside and resting your head on his shoulder. And for now, that was more than enough. Malleus chuckled and watched the sun set with a smile, holding your hand tightly in his.

On days like these he felt like a statue. Made to contribute something to this world while never truly being part of it as it changed and grew with every passing second. And you....you were the one person who'd stop by every day to place flowers down in front of it; who'd stay here for a while, content no matter if you were surrounded by others or if it was just you and him. You had dried his tears and soothed the ache in his heart and he knew you'd continue to do so, doing nothing but spending your time with him because you loved him. Because you saw him and you loved what you saw.

He found it curious how when he'd feel lost, just the fact that you took his hand and talked to him made all the difference for a moment. He leaned his head against yours as he watched the stars appear on the skies. He had power and status and today, on his birthday, he had received plenty of gifts from the other students. But ironically, the greatest gift he had today was you. And you promised to be there for the days, months and years to come.

#twisted wonderland #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x you #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia fluff #twisted wonderland fluff #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader

[sofasoap]

First time - part 1

Pairing : Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x F!reader

Summary: years of pinning, you find an excuse to get close to your best friend, Kyle.

Part of Gaz Fest 2023

Warning : M rating. Slight angst. Pinning. Friend to lovers. slight talk about bedroom related stuff.

A/N: Thank you @glitterypirateduck for organising the writing festival!! * cheering *

Enjoy!!

Master list

“Kyle.”

“Mmm?”  Sipping on his beer, he answered absentmindedly as he watched their group of friends playing darts, competition heating up. 

“Can you take my virginity?”

Gaz nearly choked to death. You sighed and lightly thump his back. You knew it was a bad idea. Before he does anything you probably kill him with a heart attack and choking to death with liquid bread. 

It took you weeks of self deliberating with the demons and angels and logic vs heart to summon up the courage to ask your friend.

Your best friend. 

Your partner in crime

Your childhood crush. 

The (one sided) love of your life. 

“You… You want me… “ still coughing away, he pointed at himself , and back at you. 

One single strong nod, you averted your eyes downwards, your hand fidgeting with the tumbler glass in your hand, not elaborating more. 

Shuffling closer to you as he lowers his voice, “Are you Ok? Someone pressuring you? Who’s the asshole?“ Getting agitated, he stood up from chair, ready to defend your honour. To protect you. 

Shaking your head as you take a sip of the strong whisky you decided to order to help you loosen up and gives you a bit more courage to ask him. “No one pressured me Kyle. I promise.” 

“Then why–” he opened his mouth, confused and … is that bit of hope? As he stares at you, waiting for an answer.  

“I… I am just.. “ You are just sick of people’s judgements. All your other friends and workmates talk enthusiastically about their life and sex lives, and you just felt… left out? You don’t know how to contribute to the conversation, since you don't have any stories of your own. The logical side of you knows it’s silly to think that way. You are not a teenager anymore, why would you care about others opinion or letting the social norms affect you?

Or , deep down, you just want to fit in. Want to be part of the “club.” Or the selfish part of you is just trying to find some sort of excuse, to be intimate with Kyle. 

And you are just too scared to declare your love to him, straight on. 

You have had a crush on Kyle since the day you met him. His family moved next door to yours when you were five. 

You hid behind your mum as his parents stood at your door, introducing themselves. You saw a boy, not much older than you, with short curly hair, standing between them. 

The two of you became fast friends. Getting up to all sorts of mischieves around the neighbourhood. He was the brain of the plot and you were the executor of the plan. 

You slowly fall for him as you get older. That little butterfly that starts flipping in your stomach every time you see him. His brilliant smile shows his pearly whites every time he sees your face. The way he greets you is always different from his friends, protecting you, entrusting you with his greatest secret. Make you laugh. Comfort you in sadness. How he always prefers to sit beside you at gatherings, and offers to take you home.

Both of your parents thought the two of you will end up together, since how well two of you get along with each other. So did you.

Your heart was totally crushed when he introduced you to his first date, excitedly.

“ I want you to be the first one to meet them. Since you are my best friend.” 

The amount of tears that you shredded that night. And the night after. But you put on a brave face, for yourself, for your family, for your friends. 

And for him. 

You don’t want him to be laden with your worries. You know him too well, even if he doesn’t love you the way you love him, he still cares about you. 

Protect you and ready to defend you when he senses a change of mood in you.

Your knight in shining armour. 

The brother you have from a different mother. But nothing more.

Reaching out and patting his hand, trying to reassure him and also calming down your own nerves, “I am fine. Well, sort of. But.. I've been thinking lately. I just.. “Shaking your head, “ I just want to experience what it is like, “ To be with you.  “There is no one else I trust more than you, to take care of me.” 

He frowned as he gripped your hands tight. “I am not going to do it if there’s no love involved.”  he insisted. Pressing his lip together, contemplating something before he open his mouth again. “Let's forget about this. You are drunk, sunflower, come on. Let’s get you home.” 

You feel like your heart has been shattered again for the second time. By him. That pet name just added to the pain. 

“Sunflower?”

“You are like a sunflower!” Kyle smiled. The families were on a camping trip once, and two of you were lying on the field of grass after running around and chasing each other.  He sat up, looked down at you with his signature smile, “You brighten up my day, and I am always in a happier mood after I see you!” 

Grabbing your bag, you stood up immediately, ready to dash out the pub door, embarrassed. You shouldn’t have asked. Well done, You think to yourself. Now you have totally ruined the friendship. How stupid can you be? There was that little sliver of hope when your mutual friends gave you the nudge and shove;

“You still haven’t told him your feelings?” “Shhhhh shut the hell up!!” you hissed. Clamping their mouth with your hands. “Can you be any louder???” 

“You…” your friend swatted your hand away, looking at you as if you had grown a horn on your head, “are you kidding me.. “ they mumbled. “ Look, you know what, just talk to him. You might be surprised.” 

You ignore his calls and the way your friends look at you, holding tight onto your jacket and bag as you hold back the tears that threaten to burst the dam. Before you could raise your hand and call for a cab, you felt a hand around your waist, pulling you in. 

That familiar warmth. Your once safety net. But now it hurts too much to be so close to him, to feel him.

Because he doesn’t belong to you. 

“Kyle.. Let go of me.” whispering, trying to hold yourself together, but you can feel your voice cracking. 

“No.”  pulling you into his chest, he buried his face into the crook of your neck. “I am sorry.”

“For what?” 

“For hurting you.” 

Wriggling around to face him, putting your hand on his chest to create a bit of gap between you and him, but keeping your head down, “I should be the one apologising, I shouldn’t have asked you such stupid thing.” your voice barely above a whisper as you try to push yourself out from his embrace. “Let’s just.. I am going home.”

“And not going to hear my answer to your request?”

You froze. 

I don't know what this is. but def smut coming next chap. of sort. * blame the three glasses of reds I had * I keep changing my mind what I want to write, from crack to fluff to one shot, and now it's turning into two-part series.

Tag list:

@deadbranch

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@voxyin

@lia0-0

@floral-force

@saltofmercury

@siilvan

@rileyslibrarian

@mistydeyes

@okayyadriana

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

@jynxmirage

@nrdmssgs @schr-torta @glitterypirateduck @devcica @cumikering @roosterr

@groguspicklejar

@obsolescent @whydoilikewhump

#gazfest #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x female reader #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick mw2 #kyle gaz garrick fluff #kyle gaz garrick x you #sergeant kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick imagine #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick x you #kyle garrick fluff #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #sofasoap writes #kyle gaz garrick angst #pinning #friend to lovers #two part series

[chaotic-mystery]

Traitor | J.M.

Pairing: no outbreak!Joel Miller x reader!

Summary: This was a request I had received by @livingdeadmaria awhile ago and I finally got out of my funk to write! It’s based on the song Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo.

Word count: 1.3K || Warnings: angst. Angst and drinking and more angst. || notif blog for updates ||

You cleared your voice and took a deep breath, preparing for whatever was about to fall out of your mouth while the phone rang on the other end. Two rings and it went to voicemail but that didn’t surprise you. “Hey…I um… I know it’s late but I had to get some stuff off my chest. You always said I could call..if I needed you.” You sat in silence for a few seconds before you fiddled with your finger against your leg, questioning if you should even say anything. “D-do you remember how you used to read me sections of your book so I’d fall asleep faster because you said something about how sleep is important and I need it for my brain to stay sharp? Not sleeping so great these days to be honest with you..I remember you’d call me sweet pea and tell me to get comfy, it’s a long chapter. So I’d tuck myself next to you and you’d read for hours, even after I was asleep.” Your voice faded on the last bit of the sentence, your hand that was tucked into your coat pocket twirling a loose thread.

“I tried one of those audio books of some story to help me sleep but it didn’t work, she didn’t give the story enough of a monotone like you did. So then I tried music to help me fall asleep. I found out I love piano covers of songs. There’s one song though that could never be covered and that would be the one you showed me-” your voice cracked a little, the sting hitting your throat. “And I Love You So by Perry Como. That’s a good one to sleep to…has a lot of memories tied to it.”

The wind nipped at the tip of your nose and you sighed lightly, the puff of air disappearing in front of you. He showed you that song on the old radio he had tucked away in a shelf in his living room after you looked over his music collection he built over the years. He grabbed your hands and begged you to dance with him just until the song was over. As the short memory faded back into your mind and you were in the present, you stood up from the bench and finally walked inside your home. Taking off your coat and boots while your phone still squished against your cheek, you sniffled slightly.

“I heard that song today for the first time in a few weeks and it made me think of you. Took it as a sign to reach out. But then…I uh-” Hesitation overcame your voice before you continued.

“I saw you downtown earlier. Finally went to that winter festival thing they put on every year, the one I used to beg you to go with me to. Man, that was like pulling teeth with you, Joel.” It was. He said the lights and all the cheerful faces and overpriced hot chocolate wasn’t his thing. Of course you wanted to go anyway and you did go, alone.

“I was going to come up and tell you hi, see how you were…but then I noticed you with someone. Funny enough she looked like the one person you said you’d never date.” Your breath hitched and you made your way to the fridge to grab that bottle of wine you bought earlier to pour yourself a glass. You chugged down the first one and poured a second one before continuing the one sided conversation. The anger started to build up inside of you once more, completely taking over the good memories you had with him.

“I begged for you to tell me you had feelings for her, Joel. You always swore to me you didn’t, that I was paranoid for caring so much. Were you lying to me all those times I asked you anything about her? You didn’t even want to hold my hand in front of her towards the end of our relationship…why is that? I never said a word about what I actually thought was going on, just so you’d stay. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I played stupid you'd be happy with that and still stick with me. I loved you through everything, including your worst. Remember when you were terrified of me seeing you at your worst and you thought I’d leave? Never once did I do that, Joel. I stayed through all the bullshit you put me through, tried to help you be the best version of yourself that you could be. I showed you what love was again. You were the one who told me you couldn’t fall for someone after Sarah’s mom left and yet I stuck around. For you and for Sarah. You left me during my worst. Was I that shitty of a person to you that you didn't care about my feelings at all and thought the best thing to do would be to leave in the middle of the night after a fight?"

“Baby cmon I told you nothin’ is going on. She’s just a friend from years ago, I never had those feelings for her.” Joel followed you into your bedroom as you started to pack your stuff in a duffle bag, cleaning out the drawer he gave you in his dresser. “Baby, stop…just listen to me.” His hands grabbed your wrists and shook the clothes from your clutch, pulling you into his chest. Warm tears fell against his shirt and you broke down finally. All the pent up anger and sadness you had spilled onto the fabric against your cheek while Joel’s hand smoothed over your hair. “You’re my girl, okay? What can I do to make you trust me that she’s just a friend?” “Tell me you’ll never date her if we ever break up. I need to hear you say it.” The idea flopped out of your mouth before thinking it over but it was already out and in his ears. Joel just nodded and gave you a soft smile. “You have my word, I won’t date her if we break up. Which we won’t.” He kissed the top of your head and hugged you once more, his words still feeling a little empty.

That was a month before he broke up with you.

You downed the rest of the glass of wine and sighed, wiping the tears away from your cheeks. “I wish you would’ve thought this through before letting me fall in love with you, Joel. I really do. You betrayed me. You told me-” You choked out a sob and swallowed hard, “you told me you wouldn’t date her and you lied to me. How could you do this to me? Joel..we were together for two years and you left me when the going got tough…you ran right to her. Did anything we did matter to you?” With the tears clouding your vision, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. “I hope you feel good about yourself, I really do. While she’s sleeping in the bed we made, I hope you replay this voicemail in your head and remember everything I said. I wish you’d call me after this to try to apologize for hurting me even more but I know you won’t. You’ll never be sorry for hurting me this bad and I think that’s what kills me so much. I know how kind you can be but it seems I’m not lucky enough to get that anymore. Thank you so much for making this heartbreak so much easier to get over. Just know that I always loved you and I would’ve never hurt you like this, you fucking traitor.” — Joel’s POV

He sighed and looked at the phone screen, the voicemail ending and the screen dimming out. His girlfriend woke up behind him in bed, rolled over and hooked her arm into his, “What’re you doing baby?” She asked tiredly but didn’t sit up to see his phone. Joel coughed and took a deep sigh before deleting the voicemail from his phone.

“Nothin’ sweet pea. Go back to sleep.”

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller fic #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfic #joel miller #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller pedro pascal #no outbreak!joel miller #joel miller angst #traitor by Olivia Rodrigo

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 17

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 36k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.

Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.

The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.

And it was no different this time around.

It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.

Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.

Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.

The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.

Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.

The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

And that same thing happened every single day.

On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.

Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.

Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.

There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.

"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.

She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.

After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.

Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.

Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.

Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"

When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.

It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.

Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.

They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"

"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.

"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"

"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.

The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."

"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.

The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.

It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.

He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.

Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.

The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.

"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.

"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.

God had he fucking missed her.

"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.

Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."

They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.

"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.

He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.

"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.

Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.

Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."

He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.

Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."

"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.

"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.

Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."

But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."

Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.

Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.

Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"

Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."

Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."

She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"

"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"

"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.

Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."

It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."

Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.

With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.

However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.

Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.

Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.

Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.

"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.

"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."

Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.

Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.

Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.

"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."

His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.

"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"

Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.

"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."

Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.

"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"

Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."

She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."

The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.

She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.

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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.

It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.

Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.

They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.

Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.

"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.

The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.

Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.

Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.

If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.

"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.

But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."

Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.

She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.

"Got a house in Los Angeles."

He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.

After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.

All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.

"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.

Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.

He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."

"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.

"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."

Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.

He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."

Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"

"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.

"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"

She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.

"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.

"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."

"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."

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Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.

Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.

It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.

She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.

She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.

Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.

Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.

Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."

And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.

Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.

She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.

When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.

There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.

A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.

"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.

"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.

Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"

Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.

Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."

Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."

In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.

"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.

Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.

Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."

Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.

Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.

She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.

When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.

There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.

After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.

But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.

She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.

The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.

Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.

It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"

He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"

Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.

The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.

She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."

Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."

She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.

After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.

Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.

Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.

The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.

So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.

Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.

The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."

When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.

Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.

The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.

She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.

It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.

'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.

Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.

She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.

A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.

"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.

She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.

Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.

He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.

When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.

They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.

They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.

Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.

Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.

However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.

It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.

They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.

A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.

With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.

Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.

The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.

It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.

Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.

Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.

She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.

It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.

But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.

And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.

This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.

It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.

Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.

Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.

"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.

Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"

He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."

She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."

A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.

She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.

And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.

When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.

Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."

Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."

And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.

But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.

Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?

All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.

"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.

"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.

Coward.

Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."

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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.

As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.

There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.

It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.

The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.

Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."

Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."

They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.

Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.

Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.

After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.

The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.

When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.

"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.

She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."

The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"

There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.

She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."

Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."

Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.

"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.

"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"

Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."

She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.

Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."

Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.

The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.

His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.

Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.

It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.

Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.

The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.

Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.

Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.

Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.

As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."

At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."

The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.

Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.

So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.

"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.

Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.

She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"

When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.

Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.

"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"

Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."

"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.

Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."

Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."

"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."

"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."

Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"

Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.

Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.

"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.

With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.

Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.

Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.

They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.

It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.

A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."

"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.

Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."

That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.

The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.

Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.

The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.

"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."

"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.

Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."

The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.

There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.

A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.

Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.

The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.

Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.

The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.

When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"

He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."

"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.

"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.

"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."

She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.

Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."

"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."

Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.

Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.

So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.

The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.

Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.

It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.

"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.

"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"

The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."

"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."

Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"

Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."

Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.

"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"

"No." Matt shook his head straight away.

"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."

When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."

She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.

"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.

They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.

Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.

She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."

Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.

"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.

Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."

Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.

"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.

Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.

Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.

Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."

But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."

"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.

And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."

"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.

"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."

"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.

Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.

"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.

Alex nodded again, "Yes!"

"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.

Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.

"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"

Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.

He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.

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After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.

Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.

The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.

Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.

Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.

"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.

He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."

Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."

Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.

She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.

Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."

"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.

She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."

Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.

The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.

Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.

A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.

Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.

But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.

(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!

Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.

"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."

Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."

When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.

It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.

For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.

What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.

The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.

"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"

Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."

Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."

"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."

The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."

The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."

Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"

It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.

"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.

Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."

"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.

"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."

Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.

Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.

When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.

Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.

After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.

"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."

Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.

Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."

The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.

When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.

Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.

This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.

When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.

It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.

Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.

Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"

"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.

Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."

But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."

"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.

It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.

Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"

Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.

Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.

Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"

"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.

"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.

"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."

That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.

Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".

The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.

"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.

Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."

"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"

Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"

Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."

Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."

"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.

Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."

What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.

"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"

Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."

But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."

The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.

"Where?" The group asked in chorus.

"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."

Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."

Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."

One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.

Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."

All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.

Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.

While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.

She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"

"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.

Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."

But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"

She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."

His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."

"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.

He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."

She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."

The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.

"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."

"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.

Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.

She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."

"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.

Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."

It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"

"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.

With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.

Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.

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"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.

Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."

Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"

But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.

The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.

A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.

Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."

The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.

Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.

When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."

It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.

Tonight is promising.

Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."

But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.

Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."

Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."

Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.

There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.

The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.

That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.

She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.

There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.

And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.

His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.

Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.

She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.

His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"

With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.

Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.

Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.

"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.

But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.

The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.

At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.

Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.

Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.

The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.

A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.

Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.

Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.

Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.

And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."

The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.

It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.

"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.

Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."

Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.

The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.

Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.

His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.

Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.

Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.

She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.

In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.

Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.

And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.

As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.

She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.

It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.

Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.

Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.

And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.

Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.

Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.

Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.

She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.

But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.

He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.

"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."

With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.

Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.

She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.

"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.

This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.

"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.

But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.

He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.

Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.

Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.

To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.

"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."

Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.

The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.

She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."

Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.

Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.

Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."

His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.

"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.

Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.

In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.

The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.

The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.

At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.

Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.

Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."

The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.

Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.

"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.

Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"

Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"

It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."

"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.

Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."

When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."

"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.

She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.

"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.

But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.

To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"

With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."

"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."

Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.

Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.

This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.

He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.

Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.

About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.

She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.

For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.

She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.

Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.

They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.

When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.

Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"

But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.

The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.

In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.

Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.

Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.

So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.

Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.

She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.

Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"

The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.

"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."

He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.

She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.

"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."

"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.

As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.

A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.

Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.

"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.

But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."

Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.

There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.

She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.

It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.

So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.

Just one thing.

His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.

He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.

It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.

And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.

She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.

But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"

Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.

When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.

She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.

In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.

A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.

Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.

Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.

But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.

Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."

He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.

"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.

Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.

Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.

She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.

Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.

Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.

The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.

It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.

Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.

He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.

Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."

Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.

"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.

"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."

Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.

All he could properly do was kiss her.

The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.

It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.

She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.

Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.

"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.

Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.

Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."

Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."

The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.

Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."

She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."

He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."

It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.

One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.

"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.

She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."

"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.

But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.

Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.

He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.

Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.

Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.

All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.

They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.

Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.

She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.

His. She was already completely his.

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Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.

She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.

After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.

It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.

That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.

All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.

Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"

The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.

She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"

It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."

Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"

A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."

There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."

The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."

"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"

Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.

"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."

Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"

"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"

The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.

Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."

Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."

Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"

"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.

Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."

It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."

Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"

The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.

"He told us this morning."

"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.

Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"

"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."

A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."

"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.

"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.

And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"

The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.

Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."

She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.

"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.

Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"

Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."

"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.

"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.

It'll be alright, it'll all work out.

Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.

Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.

It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.

Fuck.

She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.

That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.

Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.

She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.

Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.

She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.

So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.

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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx

Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.

Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.

Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.

But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.

It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.

Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.

"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.

Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"

They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.

"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."

Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.

They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.

"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."

Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."

Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."

"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.

It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."

Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"

Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."

Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."

Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.

"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.

Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."

After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.

With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.

(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx

She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.

She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.

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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.

She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.

Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.

She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.

As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.

She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.

But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.

Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.

She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.

Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.

It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.

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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.

When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.

(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx

Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.

She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.

So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.

She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.

But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.

She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.

Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.

She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.

The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."

"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.

"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.

Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."

"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."

This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."

But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"

Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."

But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"

When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.

"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.

Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."

"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.

Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.

Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.

"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.

Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"

"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"

No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."

She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.

"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.

Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."

"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"

"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."

"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.

A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."

Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."

"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.

"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.

The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.

"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.

Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."

"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."

Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."

"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"

"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.

From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.

Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."

"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.

Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."

Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.

"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.

The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.

And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

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[justanamesstuff]

All I Need

Chapter 9

A/N: IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPLOAD THIS CHAPTER! Thanks for waiting patiently...I hope this helps after the last one ;)♥ Thanks guys, you're awesome! Happy reading!

Warnings: ANGST, almost panic attack, crying, anxiety, BUT ALSO fluff, jealousy, people in love <;3 typos

Word count: 6.6 K

Blog MASTERLIST

Two weeks later Matty left…

Matty walked in circles around the tent the band had as a green room for the festival. He couldn’t stay still. The past weeks took a toll on him. Barely talking with Y/n and Amelia, they did a few FaceTimes, although they ended being counterproductive. Amelia got fussy, Y/n and him couldn’t really talk. 

Every moment he had to spear alone, Matty constantly repeated his conversations with Y/n and the broken voice of Amelia calling him to stay home. His heart broke a little more every single time. 

He brushed his hair back, anxiously. George stared at him, watching how he went from one side to the other of the little space. Matty resembled a tiger trapped inside a cage. Ready to bit, to fight, to take his anger out. 

“Alright, mate?” Ross tried to ask him.

“Yeah, yeah.” Matty answered mindlessly, out of habit.

George got tired of his mate’s behaviour, “Matty!”

“What?” he didn’t stopped moving.

“Sit down.” George demanded. 

“I can’t…”

“Did you get some sleep?” Matty snorted as an answer.

Matty was well aware the guys were staring at him due to his behaviour. Although nothing inside him was still or even want to be. On the other hand, he wanted to scream or do something that take all the angsty feelings from his chest.

“I don’t want to go there.” Matty admitted, his words sharing his sincere feelings. 

The frontman let all the air out of his lunges, while running his hands through his curls. He tried to get rid of the pressure on his chest. Matty tried to hold back the tears threatening to come out. He needed to talk with Y/n even when he knew that option wasn’t possible. 

The guys shared a couple of worried looks. Adam was the bravest to ask, “On stage?”

“Mhm.” Matty hummed as a reply, rubbing his face.

“Why?” Adam asked this time. Something in his relaxed tone took part of Matty’s anxiety. His body moved closer, as if he was being pulled by an invisible force.

“I don’t trust myself.” 

Matty had the strong feeling that once he was out there, with the fans cheering for him, his mind was going to be all over the place. Everything could happen then, and he wasn’t near the mental state to stop himself.

“You would do fine, Matty.” Adam stood up, reaching for his shoulder. 

Matty shook his head, “I want to go home.” 

“I know,” Adam voice coming from an empathic place, all of them knew what Matty was going through. “It’s the last one, and we’re all going home, okay?” he tried to encourage his friend.

“Yes.” 

The frontman tried to keep his mind in check. Not matter how the show turned out, he was going straight back home. Back to Amelia and Y/n. Thinking about them lighten up something inside him.

“You can do it.” Adam stated, forcing Matty to look at his eyes.

“I can…do it.” The singer’s voice shaking at the same time he was making the impossible to prepare himself.

“Let go.” George’s voice came from behind Matty.

Time would tell.

************************************

Matty swung the bottle of wine around on his right hand, while he held the microphone on the other. His steps uncoordinated, messy, his body threatening to fall at every step he took. George looked at Adam and Ross, asking silently. Adam tried to reassure him. It wasn’t 

good, but it wasn’t that bad yet.

“Okay…” the frontman took another sip of wine. “This next…song-” Matty stopped when the wires got tangled. “It’s for- fuck-” he brushed back the small curls on his sweaty forehead. “Next song is for…you know who you are. This is for you, and only you, baby.” 

Matty didn’t care he wasn’t making any sense. This was not for the crowd, this was for Y/n and only her; even when she wasn’t there, with him. Inside his clouded mind, Y/n was everything he could think about. Only her. 

The first chord of ‘All I Need To Hear’ filled the air. Matty took another big gulp of wine. His tears polling at the corners of his eyes. He wanted to feel her skin against his again, her warmth, her loving stares and everything –only– Y/n can give him. Matty fell asleep during those weeks trying to remember all, getting frustrated because he couldn’t have it.

“When people are talking, I miss what they say” Matty sang, replying the conversations he didn’t listen to during the weeks after he left home. The boys had to snap him out of his daydreaming almost every time he was around them.

“'Cause it all means nothing, my dear” His voice was breaking with every word, Jamie and Polly tried to help him as best as they could. “If I can't be holding you near. So tell me you love me…'Cause that's all that I need to hear.”

Matty didn’t sit during the song. He moved around, drinking from the bottle and looking at the horizon turning to wild colours because the sun was setting down. His mind trying to think what Amelia and Y/n were doing at the same time back home, without him.

“'Cause I don't need music in my ears” Matty kept the song going. “I don't need the crowds and the cheers” shaking his head, stating his words. “Oh, just tell me you love me…'Cause that's all that I need to hear” the singer finished the verse speaking the words more than singing them. 

When Matty had to sing the bridge, his knees gave up and Matty fell on the floor. He left the wine at his side, holding the microphone as if his life depended on it. “I've been told so many times before. But hearing it from you-” he moved the microphone to a side, feeling incapable to keep going. “Means much more, so much more” he concluded.

The urge to just left the stage was strong. Matty wasn’t ready to finish the song, even though he was against letting the fans down. He took a big breath and stood up. 

“Oh, I don't care if you're insincere” Matty reached for the microphone stand, holding it as a walking stick. “Just tell me what I want to hear” Over the course of the weeks, Matty convinced himself that Y/n loved his as much as he loved her. They were meant to be, there wasn’t another option. “You know where to find me. The place where we lived all these years, oh” Matty looked up, recalling the different rooms of their home. He was every minute closer to be back. “And tell me you love me. That's all that I need to hear.” Matty’s body folded in half, leaning forward. 

He couldn’t finish the song. Someone, probably Jamie, finished it for him. 

As soon as the song died down, his feet were transporting him to the backstage. Matty was physically incapable to say goodbye to the fans. He had only one though in mind. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When all the band members returned to the tent backstage, Matty lay plastered on the floor. His arm was over his eyes, shielding them from the strong lights hurting his eyes. Matty wanted to puke, but the solo idea of moving hurt through his bones. 

George is the first one to check on him. He kneeled beside his friend. “What’s wrong?”

Matty groaned, trying to clear his mind to answer. He’s way too gone for that. George glanced around to the rest of the guys to try to found a solution to a problem he didn’t fully understand. 

“Matty?” he asked again. Receiving no answer. “Can you stand up?” 

“No.” Matty replied this time, feeling his mouth dry.

“Come on, mate. We need to go.” G urged him. 

Matty gathered some strength to protest, “Can’t.”

“Come on.” 

“I want Y/n.” Matty begged George. The drummer saw how some tears streamed down his cheeks.

George felt bad to remind his best friend about the current situation, “She’s…not here, mate.”

“I want her.” the frontman wasn’t having it though. 

George knew it wasn’t the nicest thing to call this late, although they needed Matty to move. Desperate situations called for desperate measures. G took his phone out from his pocket, searching fast for Y/n’s number. He placed the phone closer to his ear. 

“George?” Y/n picked right away, worrying sick, from the other end of the line.

It wasn’t something she was supposed to assumed out loud, not even for Grace, although she had been keeping tabs on Matty. The first few days she stayed out of social media, every single one. Her decision didn’t last long.

She had been tugging herself to sleep, after feeding and during Amelia’s routine, to then search desperately for any streaming or Instagram live of fans. Y/n missed Matty more every day that passed. 

Reason why, Y/n saw the entire thing. Some fans were pissed with him, she was worried. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry-” George tried to excuse his actions, Y/n didn’t have the time or patience to let him finish the sentence. 

“What the fuck happened?” Y/n interrupted his rant. “Where is Matty?” she clung to the device so hard that her hands started to hurt. 

“Did I wake you? I need your help but-”

“Please tell me nothing happened, George!” Y/n interrupted once more, she felt bad to shout to G but she was urged to know. 

“We’re okay…Matty-” 

“Where’s he?”

“Right in front of me.” George wasn’t stupid. He couldn’t communicate her the real state of Matty. “He’s only asking for you, doesn’t want to move. I’m sorry-” 

She didn’t need to know more, “Put him on the phone, George.”

“Okay.” he kept the phone closer to his chest. “Matty, Y/n wants to talk with you.” the solo mention of her name, made Matty tried to sit up, falling miserably. 

He groaned when his body came in contact with the floor again, he extended his hand towards George. His best friend gave him the device.

“Hello?” Matty let his sight wander up to the ceiling, blinking his eyes, trying to get rid of the dizziness. 

“Fuck.” Y/n breath out, feeling slightly better that she was hearing his voice. “Are you okay, Matty?”

“Y/n-”

“Are you okay?” Something in her worried tone snapped Matty back to life. He glanced towards George and the rest of the boys. 

“Not feeling my best but-”

“Matty, you need to listen to George now!” Y/n scolded him.

“I want you.”

“Matty, please…listen to me, I- I need you to listen to George. I need you safe, okay?”

“I want you, Y/n. I love you.” he was even more stubborn in this drunkenness state.

Y/n let the words slip through her lips, “I know, baby. I do too.” she smiled a little, knowing it was the first time she admitted it out loud; even though the priority at the moment was keeping Matty safe. “Please go with George, okay?”

“Mhm…would you be at our home when I get back?” Matty sat back up, with George and Ross’ help. 

Y/n nodded even when he wasn’t capable to see her actions, “Yes, Amelia and I…we’re here, we’ll be here.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise Matty.”

The line didn’t cut down, Matty just threw the phone to a side. Y/n stayed plugged to the phone, listening to make sure George returned and helped Matty.

“Fine. George, get your ass back here, I can’t walk.” she heard Matty direct his best friend. 

The sound of the device being picked from the floor loud on Y/n’s ear.  “Thank you and I’m so sorry.” George’s voice travelled through the line.

“Please, get him some ibuprofen and water.” Y/n asked nicely this time.

“I’ll…I’ll keep you updated.”

“Thank you, G.”

Y/n left the phone on the bedside table, trying not to worry too much about Matty. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next morning

Grace and Y/n didn’t talk about it, but Amelia’s mother was aware that after the scandal with the articles –the pictures of her and George leaving the restaurant; and Matty with Daisy leaving the arena together–, Grace was adamant to stay at the house with Y/n and Amelia. 

The silent gesture warmed Y/n’s heart. Having her best friend and godmother of her child close when she was trying to get through those hard weeks was a blessing. Y/n loved Grace to the core. 

She swiped up once more, another video of Matty falling on stage similar to the one prior, showing him speaking on the verge of tears. Grace returned to the kitchen, scanning Y/n’s body. Her friend was sliding down, almost falling from the chair. Y/n wasn’t aware of it, she was too focused on the screen right in front of her eyes.

“Babe, stop scrolling through TikTok…” Grace instructed in a motherly tone.

Y/n didn’t look away, “I can’t help it.”

“I get that.” Grace approached her, extending her hand with the palm facing upwards. “Give me.” Y/n continue ignoring her, she wanted to keep watching the videos. “Fine.”  Grace proceed to take it out from her reach.

“Give it back, mom.” Y/n stood up, coming face to face with Grace. Y/n’s best friend hid the phone behind her back, shaking her head no. 

“No. I know it sucks but you have to wait and not keep watching him fall.” Grace was right.

“He looks…”

Grace didn’t let her find the right words. “He’s a mess.”

“And it's my fault.” Y/n announced. She had been feeling responsible for his state for a few days. She had been the one that didn’t want to address fully what happened between them, and Matty was obviously not okay with it. Like her.

“Partly…fuck, no-” Grace exposed her inner monologue. “He’s not a kid.”

“I need to see him in one piece, back home…” 

“Why he’s not here already?” 

“He wasn’t in the best shape to travel after the show, and something happened with the bus.” George kept her updated with every single move they made, even when Matty also did. The difference was that G added little ones of Matty’s state. “He’s going to be back tomorrow morning.” 

Y/n tried to get back her phone, Grace dodge it successfully.

“Did you talk with him?”

“Shortly. He sounded busy…” Y/n huffed. 

“I bet.” Grace didn’t want to be harsh or cynical about Matty, although he was getting on her bad side being the cause of Y/n’s current state. “I bumped into Paul the other day…” Grace tried to change the subject.

Y/n chuckled, “I don’t know if I want to know.”

“I yelled at him, of course.” Grace put the phone in her back pocket, walking towards the table.

“Grace…” Y/n made signals for her phone, it was her friend time to ignore it. 

Y/n’s friend kept filling her in about this new topic, “He didn’t move a centimetre, it was funny.” Grace laughed for herself. “I asked him what he knew about the articles...” That piqued Y/n’s interest. 

“What did he say?” Y/n went to sit in front of Grace at the other side of the table, defeated about her phone. 

“Not much.”

“Well, I think he doesn’t get hate for it…good for him!” Y/n’s voice dripping sarcasm. 

“It is calmer now, they moved to the next thing…”

Y/n rolled her eyes, “I really don’t care.”

“It’s good gossip!” Grace tried to gain her attention with it. 

“I don’t-”

“Come on! Matty’s going to be here tomorrow…and you’re going to talk, and I’ll be gone.” Grace reassured Y/n. 

“Are you going to leave?” she asked her friend, sensing how the information raised her anxiety. 

“I don’t want to be present when you suck each other’s faces.” Grace sported a disgusted expression while talking.

Y/n blushed thinking about it, “We aren’t-”

“Oh, sure.” Grace faked believing it for a minute.

“We need to talk first!”

“Two seconds later, you’re smooching and creating a new baby.” Y/n laughed at her antics. 

“Oh my god, Grace!” 

“So cheer up…you’re going to get some soon…”

Y/n felt happy to have such a great friend cheering for her. She knew how Grace felt about Matty, although she kept her words and tried to just be there for her, to support her best friend. Grace deserved all the goodness of the world.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I do. Tell me about the gossip.”

Grace didn’t need more encouragement, “Okay, so Harry Styles…”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

24 hours later

After two long days travelling after the last show, Matty saw the front yard of his house, feeling at home already. He couldn’t wait to see his baby and Y/n, he was even more desperate than two days before. 

George went to knock at the door to say a quick hello to his goddaughter and her mother. Y/n opened the door with an excited child in her arms, looking all around to see her daddy.

“Morning.” George greeted Y/n when she came into view. 

Y/n was truly happy to see the tall guy, “Hey!”

“Nice outfit, Y/n.” George teased her about the baggy clothes she used as a pyjama. 

“Shut up, Daniels!” she stopped him, half hugging him. 

Amelia screamed loud to be noticed by the grown-ups, “Orge!”

George opened his arms, making her laugh, “Hey, princess…I missed you.” Y/n let him took her little body on his embrace. 

“Yes!” Amelia answered, clapping her hands in front of her eyes.

“Move George.” Matty made himself presence from behind his bandmate, with suitcase and guitar case in each hand.

The solo sound of his voice filled Y/n’s stomach of a bubbling feeling, and made Amelia overly excited 

“Daddy!” the little Healy girl screamed louder. 

After Matty left his baggage on the floor, ready to welcome Amelia, his eyes were full of tears. “Hi, mel-mel!” he said only to her, kissing the crown of her head. 

“Hello daddy!” she exclaimed, still happy, on his neck. 

“Oh, I missed you so much!” Matty squeezed her harder with his arms.

“Miss you.” Amelia said, surprising her parents and godfather. 

“Mel!” George smile grew a few sizes, while the three of them cheered for her.

Y/n felt the urge to check the plans for later with the drummer, “George, if you can’t-” but Matty –who took notice of her when her voice reached his ears– interrupted.

“He can. Right, George?” Matty looked at his mate sternly. George didn’t have a real option to say no. 

“Yes, Y/n. Don’t worry! I’ll be back in a few hours with Charli, and we’re going to have fun, 

right Ames?” George tickled Amelia, making her chuckled loud.

“Yes!”

“I’m happy to help” George tried to reassure Y/n. He was aware Amelia’s parent needed to talk, and he was happy to help. “See you guys later.” He said.

After quick goodbyes and a few kisses on Amelia’s chubby cheeks, George was out of sight. Once the door closed down, Matty glanced at Y/n directly. 

“Hello, you.”

Y/n felt incredibly shy, “Hi.”

He didn’t wait and walked the short distance separating their bodies. Matty dared to round Y/n with his arm that wasn’t holding Amelia. He brought the two closer, closing his eyes, enjoying the moment he had been longing for weeks. 

He let his cheek rest on top of her head. Feeling his body against hers made Y/n sink further into his touch.

They couldn’t continue with it because Amelia started to get fuzzy in the middle of her parents chests. Matty pushed his body back, staring at her face without letting her go far away. 

“How are you?” he asked softly, meanwhile Amelia played with his buttons. 

Y/n titled her head, analysing his features, “How are you, Matty?”

“Better…I'm always better here, home, with my girls.” Matty brushed the apple of her cheeks, staring at mother and daughter. 

“Have you eaten?” Y/n grew concerned about his current state.

Matty couldn’t lie to Y/n. “No.”

“Let’s go, I made breakfast.” Y/n took his hand, leading the way towards the kitchen.

***************

Y/n walked upstairs after George and Charli left with Amelia. Her heart was tumbling inside her ribcage, at tone with her nerves going wild. 

She reached Matty’s room, which had the door wide open as a welcoming sign. Y/n knocked out of politeness and rest her body on the door frame, looking at Matty left his suitcase closer to his wardrobe. 

“Hello, baby.” Matty greeted her, turning around on his place to look at her face.

“Hi.Um-” Y/n brushed her hair back, staring at the floor, feeling anxious. “Don’t you wanna take a nap, I unders-” she tried to excuse herself. 

Matty was quick to interrupt her, “I don’t.”

“You might be tired.” she offered him another way out of the conversation. 

“I am…but please, come here.” Matty asked, walking to sit at the end of his bed. It was the first time in almost a month he was sitting on his own bed. “O we can go downstairs…” he offered.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a nap?” Y/n twisted her fingers, in front of her body. She felt so pathetic, not knowing how to manage the situation like a grown up. She scolded herself internally.

“I’m sure. I- We need to have this conversation.” Matty patted the comforter again. Y/n glanced up at his eyes.

“I know.”

Y/n didn’t move a muscle, keeping her eyes on his. Matty tried to wait patiently. The silence wasn’t exactly awkward, although it was suffocating her in a way. Y/n couldn’t help to let an uncomfortable laugh. 

Matty couldn’t help to copy her, even though he teased her a little. “This is not funny!” he tried to sound serious. 

“I know, okay? But where to start…” Y/n took a few steps forward, closer to Matty. 

Matty grabbed her hands on his, “From the beginning….” he said, staring up towards her eyes.

Y/n chuckled, “Funny, so funny.” she stated, rolling her eyes.

“Come on sit” Matty instructed her, and she did as told. “What do you want to talk about first?” he asked, not letting her hands go.

Y/n huffed, this was it. “Tell me about her?” 

“About Daisy?” Matty inquired to clarify. 

“Mhm.” Y/n felt tiny. 

“I've met her ages ago, before even knowing you…” Matty kept his eyes on Y/n face, even when hers were on their intertwined hands. “We once hooked up, we were pretty drunk to put it in nice words.” Matty was quick to let her know all the details. “It was a big mistake, we decided to stay as friends…” the singer felt a wave of confidence, finally having the conversation he had been hoping to have for weeks. “I meet up with her during the month I’ve stayed over there.” Matty continued. “She’s going through a messy breakup with her boyfriend…it’s a long story, if you want, I can tell you. It’s really sad though, he’s- Anyway, I wasn’t expecting tabloids making up stories about her and I…” he shook his head, before adding, “I didn’t know you would though…”

“You never talked about her.” Y/n felt the urge to defend her past behaviour. 

“No, but it’s not like she’s a secret…I guess it never came up in conversations, I don’t know, baby.” Matty said, sincere. 

“And you invited her to the concert.” The hurt was there in the middle of her words, Matty felt it.

“Mhm…I invited a few more friends, couldn’t make it.” he did invite a few here and there, he had a lot of friends with their own projects going on at the time.

“I’m so stupid.” Y/n felt embarrassed. She hid her face behind her hands. 

Matty took her hands again on his embrace, forcing Y/n to look at him once more. “No, no…this is all a big misunderstanding.” He fully believed on the words he was spoken. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/n apologized. 

Matty felt the need to do it too. “I’m sorry too. I should’ve introduced you guys.”

“Shouted at my face that she was your friend.” Y/n tried to joke about it, still embarrassed. 

“Mmm, that would’ve been a good idea.” Matty planted a kiss on her forehead. 

“And what about the other night?” Y/n brought back to the centre of attention the last concert of the band. She had been reading articles –speculating– about it, and TikToks repeating the moment when Grace didn’t notice. 

Matty felt a lump on his throat. “Homesick.” he looked down.

“Matty…” Y/n cupped his cheek.

“I was.” he stared at her eyes. “I wanted to be back so bad…it was physically painful.” Matty needed her to understand how bad he had been feeling about it all. “Biggest mistake was trying to drown it with alcohol.” 

“What about the dedication?”

“You saw the TikToks.” Matty said, surprised. 

Y/n felt her cheeks getting hot. “I did.”

“Grace was right, you’re online.” he mocked her. 

Y/n pinched his cheek softly. “Says the man who’s chronically online.” 

“But I don’t hide it!”

“Oh, shut up!”

Matty caressed her hands, getting inside his head for a few minutes. 

“How I make it back to normal?” he almost begged her for an answer. 

“I-”

“Because I am serious about this, about us, Y/n. I want to be with you.” Matty tugged at her hands, making her entire body –and soul– move.

“I’m sorry about the things I said to you, about you…” Y/n started to apologize again. Of course, she had been thinking about what she was going to say when they had the conversation. Part of it, a big part, was to say how sorry she was.

Matty tried to calm her worries, “I understand, baby.”

“No, no..don’t do that! Don’t justify my shitty behaviour.”

“I don’t. You were hurt, Y/n. I didn’t take it personally…I just need you to trust me for real with this.” Matty let her hand go to signal with a finger between them.

“I tr-”

“For real.”

“I really want to.”

Matty felt a pang on his chest, “But you don’t.”

“Matty, a lot has happened in the last few weeks…I’m still trying to get my head around it.” Y/n tried to make him reason with her.

“Okay, I get it.” Matty nodded, trying to swallow the pain. “Question is…do you want us, Y/n? Do you want to be with me?” he feared for her reply.

Y/n’s sight softened, sensing how afraid he was. “You said you were sure about me lo-”

“I am, I still am. Thing is, I need you to tell me, baby. I don’t mean now. I want for you to make those decisions.” Matty subtly made his question again.

Y/n didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.”

Matty squeeze her hands, feeling a wave of emotion took over his body. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” Matty wanted to tattoo it on his forehead, so she remembered.

“Really?”

“Yes, my love.” Matty caressed her cheek, lovingly. 

“You said you…loved me…since the start.” Y/n recalled his words.

“Yes, still do.” Matty’s lack of doubts warmed her heart.

“Explain again why you never said it? Why you accepted co-parenting with me then?” Y/n urged him.

“I was deeply scared of loosing you, Y/n. I still am, I came to that realization when…after Daisy.” He admitted.

“Why were you…are you?”

“I had the strong belief I was only a friend for you, and we were having amazing sex.” Y/n hit his shoulder playfully. “Ouch!” he protested, touching that part of his body. “I was only that for you…”

Y/n dissent with him, “How could you know?” her surprise until his words was all over her face. “We literally never talked about it…we never discussed titles and all of that. Well, only when we found out I was pregnant”

“Yeah, I know. I mean- I was in a different place…mentally. I guess my way of looking at the situation shifted, but being scared of loosing you was there, is kinda there. I can’t picture my life without you, Y/n.” Matty breathed out.

Y/n moved closer to him. “It’s the same for me, Matty.”

“This is the part I don’t get. Since we are so sure about the other, why we are not together?”

“It’s complicated?”

It was Matty’s time to ask, “Why you took the decision to be just co-parents, friends?”

“As I said, we never talked about titles…and I didn’t want to pressure you with a relationship when we were facing the idea of being parents.” Y/n state her reasons. 

“Why would I feel pressured?”

“Matty, I was pregnant…my brain was all over the place. You were realizing a new album. Back then, I was shitting myself.”

“Same.” Matty agreed. “So, all this time, we could’ve been a cute little family?” he whined, resting his back on the mattress.

“You needed to have your slut era.” Y/n patted the centre of his chest. Matty took advantage of it, grabbing her hand and pushing Y/n closer to him.

“Excuse me?” Matty faked to be offended.

Y/n hid her face on his shoulder, saying, “Oh, come on. You enjoyed it!”

“I was passed out most of the time, Y/n!” Matty protested loud.

“Yeah, you’ve told me!”

“Missing you…” he kept going. 

“Shut up.”

“I miss you now.” Matty truthfully said. 

“Matty-”

“Fuck, sorry. I  just-”

Y/n pushed herself up, looking at his face. “I know.”

“I’ll be patient. I swear.” Matty vowed.

Y/n return to lay with him, “I believe you.” she soothed Matty.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later

The dynamic around the house was starting to feel normal again. Matty knew they had a long path to go through with Y/n. He was doing all his best to let her know with actions his place was beside her and nowhere else. Matty thanked the band for not booking another show for the next week, letting him stay at home with his girl.

The frontman was thankful as well because Y/n’s mother was coming to visit, and he loved the woman. Y/n’s mother Susanne was a Matty Healy supporter since she meet him during the pregnancy. He knew how much they –Y/n and Susanne–miss each other, so being there to witness the reunion made him feel a tad emotional.

“Hello, Matty dear!” Y/n’s mom greeted him when he opened the front door. 

Matty accepted, happily, the hug she offered him. “Hi, Susanne.”

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’m good.”

“She’s giving you a hard time, isn’t she?” Susanne pinched his cheek. 

Y/n voice came from behind Matty, “My own mother…”

“No, she’s not.” Matty quickly replied.

“You can tell me the truth, Matty.” Y/n’s mother winked at him, jokingly.

“I am.” Matty said, turning to look at Y/n who smiled at him. “Let me take your suitcase upstairs.” he offered.

Once Matty was gone, Y/n led the way towards the kitchen. 

“How was the trip?” she asked her mother. 

“Long, exhausting…but I couldn’t stay all the way over there knowing you were here, with all those arseho-”

Y/n interrupted her swearing, “Mom!”

“What, my love? People online are horrible!” Susanne protested, opening her arms wide and frowning visibly.

“Mhm.” Y/n couldn’t deny it. 

“Dalia sends her regards” Dalia was Susanne’s best friend as long Y/n can remember. The woman was almost like an aunt for Y/n. “All of my friends are talking about the articles…no one believe those shitters!” Susanne kept ranting about the journalists. 

“Mom, please don’t swear around Amelia when you see her.” Y/n begged.

“Where’s my sunshine?” 

Susanne started to look around for her granddaughter, but all the toys were abandoned around the place. Which gave her a hint of where the little sunshine was. 

“She’s taking her nap.” Y/n explained.

“I thought you were the sleepiest baby, your own daughter broke the record!” Susanne told her, smugly. 

Y/n defended her daughter, “She’s really energetic when she’s up. Amelia need her naps.”

“Yeah, yeah…well, I want to see her.”

“You will. Do you want tea or anything?” Y/n tried to distract her mother with drinks and food.

“Yes, please…tea would be fine.”

“Okay.”

Y/n turned around at the same time Matty returned to the kitchen. She put the electric kittle on. 

“You won’t believe who asked me about you!” Susanne exclaimed out of the blue.

“Who, mom?”  Y/n folded her arms, waiting for her answer. She took notice at the same time of Matty presence, so she asked, “Do you want tea, Matty?”

“Sure.” he accepted, standing beside Y/n’s mother. 

Susanne screamed, which made Y/n winced. She expected Amelia didn’t hear her grandmother’s voice. “Benedict!” 

Matty noticed how Y/n’s factions changed with the mention of that name. Which distressed him. The singer scratched his stubble, waiting for more details about this unknown man.

“Oh, really?” Y/n asked excited. 

“I bumped into him at the supermarket. He’s so lovely, he stays as handsome as ever…” Susanne started.

Matty hated Y/n’s words, “I imagine.”

“Anyway, we talked for a bit. He asked about how you were doing.”

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth.”

“And that was?” Y/n arched her right eyebrow.

“You had a daughter, still single…” Susanne said, and Y/n’s sight went to Matty’s face. The frontman saw how her checks turned red while she looked at her mother again. He smirked, admiring her. “And live with the baby’s handsome father.” Y/n’s mother words made Matty laughed out loud

“Oh, god!” Y/n hid her face. 

“Who’s Benedict?” Matty asked right away.

When Susanne was about to answer, “He’s-” Y/n interrupted.

“Why?” it was her time to smile wide.

“Just want to know…” Matty shrugged his shoulders. 

“Now tell him.” Y/n instructed her mother to continue, waiting overly excited to see Matty’s reaction.

“Benedict was Y/n’s first boyfriend. They were the cutest couple ever.” Susanne informed Matty. His face turned a colour beyond red. 

“We were twelve, Mum. Course we were!” Y/n chuckled.

“Everybody was heartbroken when his father was relocated, and he broke up with her. Y/n stayed in bed for two weeks.”

“First broken heart?” Matty asked Y/n trying to play it cool. 

Y/n nodded. “First proper one.”

“And now where is he?” Matty kept his sight on Susanne because he knew Y/n was having the time of her life with this, although he needed all the details. 

“He’s back home. Oh, he said he was hoping to see you if you planned to visit home!”

Y/n threw her head back, remembering those years with him, “Would be so funny.”

“To rekindle an old flame?” Matty made fun of her.

“Oh, no!” Susanne interrupted. “He’s happily married to a boy, Allan, and they have two kids already.” she concluded with filling them in about Benedict. 

Matty didn’t know how to hide his embarrassment and Y/n her laughter. She turned to make the teas for everyone. Once they were ready, she offered one to her mother.

“Here’s your tea, Mom. Go, sit.”

Susanne was quick to obey her daughter. 

“Something to say, Healy?” Y/n inquired, smiling hard, when she gave Matty his cup. 

“No.” he mumbled.

Y/n went to kiss his cheek,“So territorial…” whispering only for him.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They ended up having a lovely evening with Susanne. After it was time for Amelia to wake up, Y/n’s mother took as her life purpose to play with the little Healy. Amelia was excited to have her grandmother around again, she didn’t stop for a minute until she grew so tired to keep going. 

Once dinner was finished, the grown-ups went to each other room. Matty had been sleeping on his bed, struggling with it, even though he didn’t want to blow his chances. Y/n had been thinking hard about it, although she didn’t want to force the circumstances. Lastly, Susanne was at the other side of the house in the guest room. 

A knock on Y/n’s door startled her, she left her book at her side staring at it. She wasn’t sure if she imagined it or not. At the other side, Matty knocked again mentally going through his lame excuse. 

“Yes?” Y/n finally asked.

Matty looked around the hall, “It’s me…can I come in?” he asked. 

“Come in!” Y/n replied.

“Hey.” Matty greeted her once he closed the door behind him.

She took his looks in saying, “Hi.” 

Matty stood there in his grey trackies and a loose old shirt of ‘the 1975’. His hair was all over the place, his curls calling for her. Y/n noticed her was moving from one foot to the other, anxiously. 

“Are you alright?” she worried, pushing her body up.

Scratching the back of his head. “Yes. No. I mean-”

“What is it?”

“I know it's odd but…” Matty started, making a lot of movements with his hands. “Can I sleep here?” he boldly asked. 

Y/n was shocked with his question, “Why?”

“Don’t laugh.” he warned her, holding his hands up between them.

“Okay.” 

“Your mom snores a lot!” Matty informed Y/n.

The woman started laughing harder than what it was acceptable for that time of the night. 

Matty placed a finger on his own lips, shushing her, “Shh, you’re going to wake her or Amelia!”

“So, you can’t sleep?” Y/n faked pitting him. 

“No.” Matty looked behind her head, if they made eye contact Y/n would know about his exaggeration about Susanne’s snoring. 

“We have a comfy couch…” Y/n though out loud, knowing that she would end up letting Matty sleep there, even though she wanted to tease him a little. 

“Yes, I know. Maybe I should sleep there…if the noises didn’t travel through the halls.” 

“There’s a couch in Amelia’s room.” Y/n continued. 

Matty took it a negative, so he said, “Right.” pointing with his hand back towards the door. “Maybe I should…” when Y/n didn’t spit a word, Matty turned around, walking one step towards the exit. 

Y/n called him, “Matty?” he immediately returned to look at her, expecting. 

“Yes?”

“Come here.” Y/n tossed the sheets aside, showing him the empty space.

Matty stared at Y/n face for a second. When the woman gifted him a cheeky smile, the singer –literally– ran to the bed. 

Y/n turned the light off, hearing him say, “I’ll stay right over he-” he felt the urge to reassure Y/n he wasn’t expecting anything else than be there. 

Although, his words got stucked on his throat when Y/n placed her head on his shoulder. Making herself comfortable for the night; sighing out of pleasure to be close to him again.

Y/n pat his chest when she felt his body was stiff. “Shut up and sleep, Healy.” 

“Okay.” Matty responded, touching her hand with his own.

When Y/n tangled her fingers with his, Matty relaxed finally to then fall asleep in an instance beside the love of his life. 

#matty healy #matty healy fic #all i need #george daniel #the 1975 #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy imagine #matty healy x y/n #matty x you #matty x reader #matty healy fan fic #matty healy x f!reader #matty healy x you #matty healy x female!reader #matty the 1975 #matthew healy

[523rdrebel]

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - The Start of Something New

Chapter Summary: Crosshair, Bells, and the Batch enjoy the Festival. Bells and Crosshair take small steps to learn how to navigate their relationship.

Rating: T, SFW

Warnings: None

A/N: So so sorry for taking so long to continue this story. I went on hiatus and then hit an unfortunate bout of writer's block. Fair warning this chapter begins Part Two of Sunflowers and Blasters which will have a bit of a tonal shift. We are still focusing on Crosshair and Bells's relationship, but I'll be introducing more original characters, quite a lot of backstory for our favorite sunshine medic, and even some angst and action. If that isn't something you're interested in, no worries, and no pressure to keep reading. <3

Thanks so much for your patience with me and I hope you enjoy!

Crosshair divider by Snotbuggle, Star and Moon Dividers by Saradi

Wrecker came up in between them wrapping his arms around their shoulders and dragging them along with a firm squeeze back toward the festival, “Come on, you two! There’s a whole festival to enjoy…together.” He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed, loud and boisterous.

“Ugh–” Crosshair groaned and rolled his eyes, but didn’t fight Wrecker guiding them back towards the Festival.

Once they reentered the bright, joyful lights, surrounded once again by the cacophony of sound from a village temporarily uninhibited by responsibilities, Wrecker released the pair and jogged off as he caught sight of Daisy passing nearby, drawn like a moth to a flame.

Left alone, there was this weight of uncertain pressure between Crosshair and Isabella. They’d flirted often, drawn inexplicably towards each other from the moment Crosshair had entered Isabella’s clinic, but now, they stood on the precipice of an undeniable change. They stood close together but not touching, hesitant but with an electric undercurrent of expectation. Isabella glanced to the side, observing Crosshair’s body language for any clues on his thoughts. Her hand twitched and she fought the urge to grab his hand and drag him along.

She heard Crosshair sigh through his nose, bringing her gaze back to his face as he rolled his eyes. The back of his hand brushed against hers, electric sparks shooting through her body causing a barely suppressed shiver.

“Well…” Isabella began, leaning slightly to brush her shoulder against his, “Where to?”

He leans in conspiratorially, “We could just leave…”

“Not so fast, Cross. You can’t go to a Festival and not play obviously rigged games. It’s tradition.”

“Rigged games–”

“Come on!” Instinctively she reached out for his hand, but stopped short and instead held out her hand palm up. An invitation.

Crosshair eyed the hand for only a moment before grasping her open palm within his, reveling in the sensation of her soft, warm fingers wrapped around his. He let her lead him through the busy streets of the festival, much as Omega had led them earlier that evening, his eyes cataloging her form- her hair, her smile, her bright, twinkling laugh. How long would he be able to hold on to her? How long until he broke her, too? But he pushed those unwelcome thoughts down, down into his mind avoiding the cold grip of fear he was all too accustomed to.

The evening passed in a dizzying blur of activity. Bells led Crosshair to all of her favorite sections of the Festival: Lantern lighting, hand crafted art and trinkets, exotic foods, dancers and musical performers and games of skill. At one game Wrecker took on a feat of strength, lifting a large boulder and spinning around to launch the rock across a number of lines indicating the distance thrown. Shep, surprisingly, tossed his boulder just a hair farther than Wrecker to the shocked cheers of many onlookers. Wrecker congratulated Shep with a crushing hug, lifting the man off the ground and laughing joyously.

Echo and Hunter challenged Crosshair and Tech to a game strategy and cooperation, followed shortly after by Wrecker and Omega who joined the competition. One of each team of two was blindfolded and sent into a maze, the partner perched atop their shoulders to direct them through the maze. It was a highly competitive game, each team yelling directions and orders or attempting to distract or mislead the opposing team. Hunter, Tech, and Wrecker were blindfolded, their partners secured upon their shoulders and the game began. Echo kept purposely directing Hunter into walls when he tried to use his heightened senses to tell Echo where he thought they should go. Crosshair communicated almost solely through various forms of grunts and growls, frustrating Tech to no end, “Use. Your. Words. Crosshair.”  Wrecker and Omega made it through the maze in less than five minutes, having no difficulties communicating and Omega only directed them to a dead end twice. Wrecker and Omega were adorned with beautifully crafted flower crowns for their victory and Wrecker promptly offered his to a blushing, giggling Daisy.

Bells nudged Crosshair with her elbow, directing his attention towards Wrecker and Daisy, “He went off to talk to Dai-sy.” She beamed at the pair across the way, “She's my favorite baker on the island. Wrecker’s had a crush on her for ages…”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, “I know– he’s been insufferable. Mooning at her for months.”

“He asked me for some advice, didn’t quite know how to start talking to her.”

“You?” He remarked dryly.

She elbowed his waist sharply this time, “Believe it or not, Cross, I am actually a woman. I’m familiar with our wiley ways.” She wiggled her fingers at him playfully.

“Do go on…”

“Excuse you! Those are protected trade secrets. I can't reveal them to just anybody.”

He snorted and directed another eye roll at her.

She sighed and shook her head, then shrugged, “Well, I’m hungry. Come with me?”

“I suppose. Wouldn't want to leave you and your wiley ways unsupervised…”

After their hunger was satisfied, they decided upon one last game. “Saving the best for last,” she’d said, and led him to a stall with a rudimentary game of accuracy. The stall was set up with holo-targets at three levels of difficulty and an old short-range training blaster rifle was provided for all who wished to take on the “challenge.” Crosshair scoffed, but Bells beamed at him and stepped up to the stall.

Crosshair stood back observing quietly, taking it all in. He was happy, happier than he'd been in a long time, if ever. He watched Bells laughing with Wrecker who had come over to cheer for her.

He watched as she set her stance like he’d taught her, leveled the rifle, and took aim. She was still wearing his borrowed jacket. The corner of his mouth twitched. He approached her from behind while she took her first two shots, nailing the bullseye, then just to the right. She aimed again, nailing the next two with intense focus. He smirked and ran a hand up her back under his jacket and leaned close to whisper in her ear, “Don’t get distracted…” She jumped, barely hitting the outer ring of the target and she turned on him, blushing profusely, “Cross!”

Crosshair chuckled quietly, “Works every time…” His gaze swept over the targets, “Well, you still hit the target…barely. Might have to work on your focus, Bells.”

She crossed her arms over her chest with a huff, mumbling under her breath, “Kiss the man once in a secluded garden and suddenly he gets bold.”

It was getting late, the crowds had thinned and many stalls had begun to clear away. Lighting around the Festival areas were dimmed to a low, soft ambiance. Hunter and Omega had bid their goodnights an hour or so prior and the rest of the Batch had scattered elsewhere. Crosshair and Bells walked the darkened quiet streets of Pabu’s upper levels, meandering a path towards Bells’s home. When they finally approach the door, Bells tapped the entry pad and the door opened with a woosh. The pair lingered in the entrance, hushed and unwilling to break the spell and end the night.

After what could have been seconds or hours, locked in a stalemate with ever encroaching time, Crosshair wraped one arm around her waist and pulled her close. The other hand softly cradled the back of her neck and he pressed a soft, teasing kiss to her lips before releasing her with a knowing smirk, “‘Night, Bells.” Once again he walked out her door leaving her breathless and hopelessly wanting more. 

She shook her head and slowly began getting ready for bed, her mind occupied with a mixture of memories and sensations from the evening and fanciful fabrications of an evermore possible future. As she exited the ‘fresher, her busy mind was abruptly broken from its revelry by a strange beeping sound. Isabella froze, listening for the sound.  It came from a storage unit she hadn’t touched since arriving on Pabu some years ago. The sound stopped and she squeezed her eyes shut against the burning cold dread, clenched her jaw, and climbed into bed. With some effort, she redirected her thoughts back to the pleasant events of the evening, her breathing slowing until sleep finally found her.

She dreamt of a beautiful picnic with friends and loved ones from Pabu. Desi and Taayo were there, a young, nameless child crawling around them. Crosshair was there, as were his brothers and sister, the banter and laughter flowing freely. Other residents of Pabu made an appearance as well. All the while, a shadow hovered just out of sight, at the corners of her vision she knew it was there. She knew the shadow, but could not recall it’s name. She turned to ask, only to have it move once more just outside of her vision and then was gone. The rest of the night no more dreams troubled her.

Ye Olde Taglist:

@jediknightjana @dangraccoon @wizardofrozz @freesia-writes @mythical-illustrator

@echoxbuggs @trixie2023 @ezras-left-thumb @sweetcream-coldfoam

@anxiouspineapple99 @wings-and-beskar @starrylothcat @secondaryrealm @arctrooper69

@littlemissmanga @wolffegirlsunite @sev-on-kamino @dystopicjumpsuit @idontgetanysleep

@clonemedickix @followthepurrgil @clonethirstingisreal

#rebelwrites #Suflowers & Blasters #Crosshair x OC #OC - Dr. Isabella Ramót #Grumpy & Sunshine #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #Rebel Writes #Sunflowers & Blasters #Sunflowers and Blasters #crosshair x oc #Crosshair x “Bells” #Crosshair x Dr. Isabella Ramot #Star War AU #star wars #the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb Omega #Slow Burn #Sibling Meddling #tbb wrecker #chapter 10 #Sunflowers and Blasters Part 2 #Part Two #Long Fic #Happy Bad Batch Eve #Happy Tech Tuesday #TBB Fluff

[shoutokozume]

Kisses with BNHA

Navi

Ft. - Todoroki, Denki, and Bakugo.

Warnings - Comfort angst, slightly Smutty. Swearing, fluffy fluff floof. Afab in Bakugo Spicy kisses.

Part 2 - Tamaki, Kirishima, and Keigo

(Coming soon)

...

First Kiss

- Todoroki Shoto -

° Shoto had just beaten Midoriya in the Sports Festival, half of his shirt brunt to an ash from the large amber flames that erupted from the right side of his body. Despite his many cheers, praises, and even obnoxious chants from his father. Shoto didn't look like his usual self, he may be cold and quite dense at times. But right now he just seemed dissatisfied with himself.

° You shuffled through the crowd to chase after your classmate, noting that nobody else seemed to pick up on his odd behavior. Your cautiously slipped into the waiting room where Shoto was rummaging around to find a new shirt for his battle with Bakugo, his heterochromic irises glancing towards your looming figure by the door way. He didn't think anyone would want to miss a single moment of the festival, guess he assumed wrong.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, but I just wanted to see if you were alright." You explained, Gazing at the wall with pink dusted cheeks as he changed into his new shirt.

"I'm fine, I didn't get injured that badly... only a few bruises." Shoto reassured, smiling shyly at your concern.

"Not physically... You looked a bit sad after the fight. I wondered if you were worried about something or if anyone said anything to you." You continued on, watching his eyes widen in surprise.

° Despite being Shoto's closest friend, he never would've guessed that you could sense when something was bothering him. No one ever really considered his feelings much, especially since he out on such a stoic persona to appease the idea of a hero in his head. He'd be lying to himself if it didn't make his heart swell by your actions, realizing just how much you cared about him.

° His mind blurred as he walked towards you, a soft expression melting his cold features. Two gentle palms cupped your cheeks, Shoto's curious gaze shifting between you eyes and lips. Before he quickly placed a cold peck to your lips, barely lasting a second just so he could test the waters. Seeing you casually chase after his lips when he departed from yours encouraged him to keep going. Shoto carefully pressed himself against you, his kiss soft and cold matching the fingers that circled across your back and waist.

"I am feeling better now, but that's because of you y/n." He whispered, smiling cheekily at your bashful state.

...

- Kaminari Denki -

° Denki never thought the first time he'd be in his crushes room would simply be for studying, he pictured making out, cuddling, or slow dancing at midnight with you. But no, he sat on the edge of your bed as you went through cue cards. He has been infatuated with you since day one, there has been no one else on his mind except for you. So it was a bit disappointing to hear that you asked him to visit you... Just for a tutoring session.

° Denki flopped his body back towards the pillows, looking up at you as you calculated his scores for the tenth time of the night. He was grateful for your help, but he wanted some type of reward for his hard work. Even if it was something as simple as floofing his hair, it would feel like the best gift in the world just because you were the one doing it. You smiled down at him, showing him the highlighted 80%, meaning he successfully passed the faux test.

"Good job Kaminari! You knew the answers to most of the questions, even getting the hardest one. I'm really proud of you." You praised, stroking your fingers through his hair softly.

"I guess I should get an award then, right Y/n?" Kaminari suggested, sitting up straight with a playful shimmer in his golden eyes.

"Yeah, do you want me to order some pizza? I could get ice cream if you want... Or we could watch a movie. Or all of the above." You rambled on, pulling out your phone before Kaminari softly placed it back down beside you.

° Denki placed a hesitant kiss on your cheek, his eyes looking for any signs of discomfort before turning your head so you would face him. His lips melted against yours sweetly, you could practically feel the happiness radiating off of him when you kissed back. The curve to his lips increasing upward the more addicted you became to his kisses, he got you hooked on him.

° You carefully pushed him back to your pillows, cautiously leaning over him as you two continued to peacefully makeout. Denki placed your legs over his so you were practically caging him underneath you, his hands hurrying back to your hair so he could deepen the kiss. Denki never wanted the kiss to end, worried that when you'll separate you'll realize who you just kissed and regret your decisions. The longer he could stay in this dream like moment, made him fear less for whatever the outcome of it is.

"I know I'm not the smartest guy in UA, but I promise that I'll be the best boyfriend in UA." He reassured, a hopeful glow sparkling his features.

...

- Katsuki Bakugo -

° You were Bakugo's neighbor since you were both in diapers, despite growing up to be a bit harsh and over confident his soft spot for you never faltered. He'd check in on you when you were home alone, helped you practice for the UA entrance exam, and even hung out with you every weekend. So it didn't surprise your parents that you'd both be waiting together urgently to see if you made into UA, you practically did everything together.

° You watched patiently as All Might congratulated you, revealing that you were going to be a student in class 1a. You jumped around your room with glee, latching onto Bakugo's arm as he got the same attachment from UA. You'd both be attending the same school, in the highest ranking class of UA. This was better than what either of you prepared for, you couldn't beleive that you both would get by the exam with similar scores.

"I can't beleive we made it! Bakugo we're going to UA! The school for heroes in training, the school where All Might will be teaching at!" You squealed, holding him tight as he spun you around.

"We'll be the strongest couple in there, no extra will compare to us." He boasted, accidently letting his crush on you slip.

"Couple... Couple as in a best friend duo? Or couple as in-Uh.. Uhm. As in the romantic type, like the kind that kiss and cuddle all the time?" You asked, surprised to see Bakugo's face heat up as he refused to meet your gaze.

° Seeing Bakugo become so flustered by his slip up, it made you realize that he never would want to see you as just his friend. It always did feel nice knowing you were treated different by Bakugo, that alone should've made you clue into his crush on you. Feeling an edge of confidence take over your thought, you hooked arms across his shoulders and pressed your cherry chapstick lips against his.

° Without a second to spare, Bakugo looped his arms around your waist pressing your flat against his body. Despite being a very loud and explosive person, his kisses were quite calm and gentle. He acted as if you were made of the most fragile glass, his fingers only ghosting over the middle of your back. Hearing you whimper into the kiss when he tried breaking away only made him crave more, he wanted more of your warm cherry lips, more soft smacking sounds to echo across the room, more of the fuzzy feeling he gets in his stomach when you cling onto him.

"No extra will ever be able to kiss you the way I can, and no one can be as addictive as you." He explained, gently squishing your cheeks together.

...

Comfort Kisses

- Todoroki Shoto -

° Everyone knows the Todoroki children have daddy issues, you simply have to realize who their dad is to put two and two together. But surprisingly throughout the past two weeks, his main stress didn't have to do with his asshole of a father. Shoto was worried that his relationship with his mother would never blossom back to normal, he's talked to you about everything they talk about and has even brought you to visit her a couple of times.

° You've noticed how awkward and tense it is, despite both of them loving each other deeply. It's hard to get past the fact that his prominent scar was created because of her, and it's hard to get past the abuse both of them witnessed but have never brought up in countless times he's visited her. Shoto loves his mom a lot, he knows this... He's just frustrated as to why it doesn't feel like either of them are as close as they should be whenever he visits. He forgives her about the scar, he knows it was his dad's fault, and he even comforted her about Touya. So why can't they act like mother and son?

"Love, do you think we could just stay in for the night? I'm not feeling great." Shoto commented, his expression glum and lacking any brightness.

"Are you feeling alright? Do you want me to get you some medicine?" You asked, softly putting the back of your palm to his head.

"I don't feel mentally well, I'm just stressed out about my mom's situation with me." He revealed, gently cupping your wrist so you would stay close to him.

° Seeing Shoto stressed out and panicked never failed to pick at your heart, he's usually very calm and gentle. You softly swept through his two toned hair as you let him bury his face into you neck, his lips pressing themselves against your jaw line. Even if Shoto doesn't say it often, he knows that if it weren't for you he'd be a much different person... He'd be empty and cold if it weren't for your comfort.

° Shoto moved his head away from your grasp, carefully placing you against the couch as he crawled over you. His lips slotting themselves gently against yours like two perfect puzzle pieces. The kiss was long but soft, lips ghosting over each other only to mold into each other every so often. Shoto leaned back slightly, looking down at you with admiration wondering how he found such an amazing person to end up with.

"I love you... You know this, right?" He whispered, smiling innocently when you leaned up to capture another kiss as an answer.

...

- Kaminari Denki -

° Denki may have been desperate for love in the past, and came off as a flirty dork. But once you got past his facades, you soon realized how low his self confidence really was. It was all thanks to being made fun of throughout all of his years in school, for his quirk, set backs, grades, and looks. Even if Denki was good looking and had a really great quirk, he never seemed to think it was good enough for anyone to appreciate.

° That's why it hurt quite a bit when he was trying to calm down Bakugo, only to get ripped apart and called every name in the book. Stupid, Awful, Useless, Worthless, Trashy, Gross, Bastard, Bitch, and worst of all Disappointment. That single word, practically crushed Denki's heart into a small pile of ash. His glowing features now dark, tears welling up in his eyes before he started to walk off. Completely unaware that you were in his room, reading some Manga waiting for him to arrive.

" Hey sunshine, how was your trip with your friend- Aw, what happened?" You asked, noticing his small sniffles as he held his head down.

" Bakugo called me some really bad things, I know he usually does this to everyone and it's not that hurtful most of the time. But he was just so angry this time, and he practically ticked all of my insecurity boxes... It just really hurt this time and he did in front of everyone. No one said anything to stop him, or disagreed, they just watched..." Denki cried, burying himself into your sweater... Wanting to just hide away from everyone.

" They were probably just shocked by how much of an ass he was being, everyone likes you Denki. Even Jiro... And she's hard to please. And don't take his words to heart, they are all false and taken out on you because he can't stand to see someone be happier than him. " You reassured, raking through his silky golden locks.

° Denki stayed silent, sniffling against your shoulder while you cuddled him in your lap. He gained back some of his composure, feeling protected and safe whenever he was with you. He knew you'd never think badly of him, you always encouraged him to reach for the stars, and made sure he knew that he was worth every compliment he ever received. You were like his own personal angel, always by his side to help him back up when he falls.

° You felt small shaky pecks scatter across your cheeks, his kisses wavering around your lips to make sure he never missed a spot on your beautiful face. Butterflies erupted in his chest at your cute giggle, encouraging him to give you hundred upon hundreds more of his tiny kisses. You adjusted your face gently, meeting his lips before he could tease you any longer. Without an ounce of surprise, Denki glued himself to your your body. His chest completely pressed against yours, arms tracing shaped across your back, legs caging against your outer thighs, and his lips following your lead as he let you take over him.

" I love you so so much, love isn't even a strong enough word." He whispered, his beaming smile returning to his glowing features.

...

- Bakugo Katsuki -

° His relationship with his mom was complicated, it's really hard to hate your own mother. But Bakugo surely doesn't enjoy spending time with his, they but heads, she hits him, they scream at each other, have no respect for one another, and she critiques almost everything he does. He can't hate her since she's his mom, but he certainly can't love her either. Especially after he witnessed the way she talked about you, saying you weren't up to her standards.

° He didn't wait much longer before going down there to defend you... Even though you weren't even there. Bakugo went off, explaining that you have shown him more love than she ever did, that you made him a better person, that your prettier than she ever could dream of being, that you've don't nothing wrong ect. He went on such an aggressive rant that it even shocked both of his parents, they've never seen him this livid before... And that's saying something. Bakugo took advantage of their shocked state, quickly packing a bag of clothes, shampoo, toothbrush, and other essentials before he rushed to your home.

" What are you doing outside my window? It's storming outside." You questioned, quick to let him in before he could get sick.

" My mom and I had a huge fight, probably the worst we've ever had. I just needed to see you, you're like my safe place. I'm sorry if I'm forcing this on you, I just don't have anywhere else to go. I promise I'll stay quiet, you'll barely know I'm here... I just really needed to be with you right now. " Bakugo explained, taking off his drenched jacket as he gazed outside the window.

" You're always welcome here, I'm sorry about your mom... But before we continue you should get dried off, I don't want you to catch a cold. I'll go fetch you towel, stay right there." You whispered, softly stroking off some dampness from his soft round face.

° You passed him an orange towel from the laundry basket, letting him get changed in your room as you waited outside the door. Bakugo invited you back into your room after a minute, wrapping his arms around your torso as he swayed both of you back and forth. Your lights may have started to flicker due to the weather, but anxiety never entered your thoughts... There was no fear whenever he was around you. Softly you guided him to the bed, snuggling into his chest as he adjusted the blankets.

° You lifted your head up slightly, capturing his lips before he could press himself closer to you. Bakugo's hair was still a bit damp as your tugged on a few strands, his lips burning hot as they never failed to leave a cinnomon taste to your tongue. He turned you to your back, trailing soft kisses against your shoulder, neck, and cheek. His warm left hand stroking circled across your slightly exposed belly, he could see you becoming increasingly tired just as the power turned off.

"Goodnight beautiful, I love you." He muttered against your ear, pressing one last kiss to the temple of your head.

...

Spicy Kisses

- Todoroki Shoto -

° It was your fourth date, you were on a double date with Uraraka and Midoriya at a nice restaurant that you all enjoyed. It was going perfect, everyone was having fun, the food was great, and you looked amazing... A bit too good in Shoto's eyes. Your outfit was simple, but the way it hung off your shoulders and hugged your waist was nothing less than gorgeous. So gorgeous that his somewhat comfortable suit pants were becoming increasingly tight.

° You made Shoto Todoroki horny, and it was becoming increasingly harder and harder to keep it subtle. Sadly, both you and Uraraka wanted dessert which led to the four of you staying even longer than intended. They delivered the ice cream mochi that you both ordered, yours just so happened to be vanilla and a bit softer than you expected. Melted ice cream running down your chin and hitting your chest before you rushed to grab a napkin. There weren't many on the plate so dessert went by quickly, even if it seemed like forever for Shoto.

" Are you okay Shoto? You seemed quiet during dessert." You whispered, buckling up next to him in the backseat as Midoriya started the car.

"I have a problem... It's not bad. It's just embarrassing." He replied quietly, eyeing towards his pants that were still tight.

"Problem? What prob-... Oh." You gaped softly, biting back proud smile when you noticed his evident bulge.

° Knowing that Midoriya couldn't see your hands through the rearview mirror, you cupped his girth through his pants acting ever so casual. Uraraka was busy chatting about the latest gossip with Midoriya, making it so neither of them heard Shoto's small groan, biting his lip rather harshly when you started to massage his aching shaft through the tight pants. The daggers he sent your way were very noticeable, Shoto didn't like being teased. But it was far too easy at this point that you just couldn't help yourself.

° You said your goodbyes, waving at them as they drove towards Midoriya's home. Just as you were inserting the keys to the dormitory, you felt your boyfriend pressed against your back. His now very evident and hard bulge digging itself against your ass, you waited for the elevator. Shoto planted hot wet kisses across your jaw and neck, turning your around seconds after to push you both into the elevator as his lips rammed into yours. Your back pressed flat against the wall as his tongue adventure between your sweet lips, his hands cupping your ass to push your sex towards his for some friction.

"You have five seconds to get to my room before I fuck you right here in this hallway." He panted, softly cupping your sex similar to how you did earlier just as the elevator doors opened.

...

- Kaminari Denki -

° Despite loving Denki with everything in your heart, you do admit that he's a bit of a perv at times. Luckily it's only with you, but you do call him on it whenever he gets that look in his eyes. That's why you knew immediately that he wanted to bone when he texted for you to come over, dissecting it made it obvious. Mentioning his parents were gone, saying he misses you, and adding a heart and smirk emoji. He wants to bone, and it was up to you if you wanted to or not.

° You decided it'd be nice to have sex, it's been a week, you've been stressed out lately. So why not let your very gorgeous boyfriend take all of that away. You quickly rushed towards his house, knocking a small tune on his door. You heard your boyfriend trio while rushing to the door, making you laugh quietly by how needy he is. The door was opened wide, letting you admire your shirtless boyfriend in grey sweats that massively failed to cover his hard on. His long blond hair was tucked into a cute ponytail, and his face was glowing in the hot summer sunshine.

"Welcome back to my humble home, I'm glad you came. I've missed you." He greeted, placing a swift kiss to your cheek.

"Denki, you saw me this morning when I dropped off some study notes. Just admit your horny." You teased, making him laugh in shock... How did you know him so well?

" Fine fine... You've caught me and my dick red handed. But, if you knew I was horny and still decided to come over.... Does that mean you want a piece of this fine ass too?" Denki defended, smiling proudly when you nodded to his accusations.

° Without another second, Denki picked you up and let your legs wrap around his waist. His lips molding against yours as you both giggle like school girls throughout the kiss, he shut his bedroom door behind him with his foot before dropping you onto the bed. He was quick to remove his pants and boxers, having no shame in showing you just how needy he was. His bright red tip oozed pre cum, and the small blonde stubble near the base showed he shaved very recently.

° Your hands were quick to start stroking his cock, swallowing up his whispy moans and whines with your addictive kisses. Denki moved his face into your neck, allowing you to continue pleasuring him as you please. He whined agisnt your ear, fanning it with his hot breath as you thumbed small circles over his slit. Feeling his dick begin to twitch and his balls begin to tighten, Denki sucked wet and messy hickeys across your neck and chest. Falling apart in your hands just as he began to kiss further and further down your body.

"Your turn now sweetheart, strip for me." Denki ordered, face beet red and lips swollen as he gave you a gentle bit exasperated smile.

...

- Bakugo Katsuki -

° Despite seemingly being a good boy in a bad boy facade, Bakugo was arguably just as much of a horn dog as Denki was. He wasn't upfront about it and tried to deny this fact about himself, but whenever he saw you wear his merch, get angry over something, or kiss him a bit harder than you usually would. His dick is awake and ready to be touched, sucked, and fucked. He's a bit embarrassed to be sexual at first, thinking it's a bit too vulnerable and worried that someone will make fun of him if they notice his hard on.

° But after he has sex with you for the first two times, he doesn't give two shifts anymore. He's horny, he wants you, if you don't want to, he'll masturbate to the thought of you. Bakugo becomes very upfront about it, walking up to with his jacket somewhat covering the crotch of his pants and saying he's hard. His new favorite thing, is to do you in very risky locations, it excites him at the thought of someone catching you two going at it. People almost have before, but that was only once during a movie night.

"Babe, I'm hard. Do you want to fuck in the bathroom stall?" Bakugo asked, expression calm as if it was a normal thing to ask.

"Suki! You can't just say those things to me on a whim." You whispered, gently pulling him out of the cafeteria where no one surprisingly heard him.

" Since we're walking towards the bathrooms, I'm guessing that's a yes?" He assumed, a devilish smirk making its way onto his lips.

° Bakugo closed one of the stall doors behind him, caging you against the wall while you two sloppily begin to makeout. His tongue exploring your mouth as you occasionally suck on his, his hips bucking into yours everytime you moaned into the kiss. Bakugo was quick to unbutton your shirt, pressing hot kisses over your heart and tum. He lifted your thighs higher, placing them over his shoulders before he began to nip on the inside of your thighs.

° Bakugo was close to ripping apart your panties, but he knew you'd need them for the rest of the day so he settled for crumpling them and pressing them into your mouth. He raised your skirt high, spreading your slick thighs apart as he watched your tight little hole convulse around nothing. Bakugo was quick to start suckling on your bundle of nerves, holding your thighs in place so you wouldn't accidently kick the stall walls. His tongue ravished your cute dripping pussy, wasting no time to bring you to a strong impending orgasm.

"Time for you to put that mouth to good use, I did you a favor now it's your turn." Bakugo panted, licking up the juices that remain Don his lips.

...

Quick Kisses

- Todoroki Shoto -

° You and Shoto were having a cute morning date at a local cafe, both of you buying some hot cocoa and muffins. Even if it was cute and you were having a lovely time, you were still a bit tired due to it being so early. Which led to you missing your mouth occasionally when it came to eating your blueberry muffin, you were a bit embarrassed and tried to hide your pout with the napkin but that was no match for Shoto's observant nature.

° Shoto laughed gently, his tall figure leaning Iver the table to wipe off some crumbs from your cheeks. His eyes peeked around the cafe, noticing no one was looking your way. So he took this small window of time to press two small kisses to the tip of your nose. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't purposely plan this date in the morning because you were extra cute and clumsy when tired, you were simply too adorable to resist.

" Here love, sit near me I'll feed you." Shoto reassured, grabbing your muffin and sliding it towards him.

" Thank you Sho, sorry for being a bit of a slob." You whined softly, looking up at him with tired eyes.

" You are not a slob, you are just a bit tired. And that is normal, at least you are not angry when you are tired." He whispered, placing a peice of your muffin between your lips.

° You felt your eyes avert his gaze by the amount of love that spilled from his heterochromic irises, he loved every inch of you and it truly showed at times. Even when you were dropping food, staining your shirt slightly, and zoning out the window with a wide open mouth. Shoto still found you the most gorgeous person in the universe, knowing that he'll never find someone as special as you no matter the size of the population. You were meant to together, and he thanked whoever made you two cross paths.

° Shoto tilted your chin so you'd look back towards him, pressing a small kiss to your blueberry cinnomon lips. If it weren't for the small crowd that were a few tables away, Shoto would've deepened the kiss further so he could taste more of your sweetness. But for right now he was content at looking into your surprised gaze, and pressing another peice of muffin between your lips as you tried to shake yourself even more awake.

"You're so beautiful my love, even when you're tired." Shoto claimed, smiling softly at you while you laughed bashfully by his words.

...

- Kaminari Denki -

° Denki had a lot of trouble sleeping, he was simply too hyper mentally to ever get a good rest. But ever since you moved into his dorm room a few days ago, his sleep has begun to improve bit by bit. That's all thanks to you however, your magical touch always leaves him melting in your arms against his very fluffy pillow. Denki has no idea how you do it, but he certainly isn't complaining, anything to calm down his ADHD is very welcome.

° Denki kept tossing and turning in his bed, checking the time every fifteen minutes to see when you'd finally come home. His body was exhausted but his brain was wired, he wanted to sleep so badly but his brain kept him from doing so. His heart swelled at the sound of his door opening, looking up at your figure with golden yellow doe eyes. Silently begging for you to join him in bed so he could finally get some rest, but you needed to get into pajamas before caving into his pleas.

"Baby hurry, I need you to help me sleep." Denki whined, smushing his face into his pillow as he impatiently watched you change.

"I'm coming I'm coming, just let me put some pants on and then I'll be there." You reassured, laughing quietly.

"Screw your pants, I'll keep you warm. Just come here and let me hug you." Denki whined once more, his cheeks puffed out playfully.

° You obliged to his demands, snuggling under the blankets with only a shirt and pair of underwear on. Denki instantly placed small kisses against your lips as a way to properly welcome you home, his arms snaking themselves against your lower back and bum. He nuzzled his head under your chin, letting you stroke though his hair and press kisses to the top of his head. You felt special knowing how much you've impacted his routine, so much so that he now needs you to fall asleep.

° You felt Denki begin to snore gently, his arms still tight around your body as if you'd ever want to leave this peaceful moment. You'd be lying if you said you could sleep without Denki's presence, the truth was that he's impacted your life just as much as you've impacted his. This never failed to make you wonder how managed to meet someone so perfect for you, Denki was truly your one and only... And small moments like these only sealed that fate.

"I love you so much, my future husband." You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head before letting sleep take over your body.

...

- Bakugo Katsuki -

° It's canon that Bakugo is a good cook, it's shown many times throughout the series. Which is why he often takes over the meals when it comes to your relationship, he doesn't mind cooking supper especially since he gets to decide what you two will be having. But every so often, you decide you want to help him cook, even if you aren't great at it... You still think it's be cute to share the kitchen with your boyfriend.

° You walked into the cozy kitchen, watching as your boyfriend threw some fresh hot peppers into the chilli he was making. You carefully wrapped your arms around your large muscular boyfriend, noticing that he didn't seem to mind your presence since he continued to stir the chilli around before searching for some spices in the cupboard. Once he added a couple different spices, he put a lit onto the meal and let the flavors get trapped into the delicious creation he's made.

"Do you need any help Suki?" You asked quietly, gazing up at him as he munched on a chilli pepper casually.

"I'm finished with supper, but you can prepare the drinks if you'd like." He explained, smiling cheekily as your eyes lit up at his suggestion.

"Strawberry milk with a sliced strawberry rim it is then." You cheered, knowing that milk would help calm down some of the spice your boyfriend added to supper.

° Bakugo took a sip from his cup, popping his strawberry slice into your mouth for you to enjoy. Despite his milk mustache, he leaned down to give you a quick kiss on your lips, squishing your cheeks together so he could plant even more on your pouty lips. He knew he was head over heels in love with you, but he's grown to accept that face. Bakugo knows you love him for who he truly is, and it's nice knowing he doesn't have to worry about being the best when he's around you... Because he always feels like a winner with you.

° You chased after his lips one last time before he ushered you to the living room, slowly removing his black and orange apron as he poured the chilli into two bowls. He placed the meal infront of you while you scrolled through Netflix, one of his arms draped across your shoulder as you decided on some animal documentary. Even though you were dead set on the adorable lemurs that it showed on the screen, Bakugo couldn't take his eyes off of you. The way you smiled in content by the delicious food, your sparkling eyes... God he was so in love with you.

"You're too loveable for your own good, I can't help but want to kiss your face." Bakugo commented, pressing a fast kiss to your stuffed cheeks.

...

Official Kisses

- Todoroki Shoto -

° Shoto knew it was time for the next big step in your relationship, he knew it was time to propose to you. He never thought he'd meet someone so special to him, someone he wants to spend every second of every day with, someone who he can proudly say he wants to have a family with... He thought that person was just someone that he could dream of. But here you were walking a long side him as he guided you towards the location of where you had your first date. It was at the local gardens, where you fed the ducks and had a small picnic.

° Shoto didn't want to propose to you at some fancy restaurant with a large crowd, he didn't want it to be extravagant or expensive. Even if he could make it happen easily, he knew that's not what you wanted. You didn't see him as the son of Endeavor who's well off, you saw him as a timid awkward guy who liked to keep things quiet and casual. It wouldn't make sense for him to make things extravagant all of a sudden, since that not what either of you craved.

"Aw, we're at our first date location. That's where that duck bit your shoe so you'd give him bread." You exclaimed, pointing towards the Cherry blossom tree where you both sat under.

"I'm glad you remembered. There's actually a reason I brought you here specifically." Shoto hummed, his hand shaking as he hid the Tiffany box behind his back.

"What is it Sho?" You asked, looking so beautiful without even trying. He knew that he was making the right decision.

° Shoto gently guided you under the blossom tree where you both laughed and shared sandwiches under. The day where he genuinely smiled, he couldn't remember the last day he did that before he met you. You were his close friend before dating, so maybe that's why if felt as though you two were soulmates even before the second date with him. Maybe that's why it was even more intimidating to be proposing to you, knowing you could reject his advances.

° Shoto softly got on one knee revealed the beautiful diamond ring that he picked out for you, half was gold and half was silver. Shoto expressed how happy you've made him, explaining that he doesn't know where he'd be right now if he hadn't met you. You make him whole and he wants to make you feel just as loved as you've made him. He wants to love you for the rest of his life.

"Y/n l/n, will you please do me the honour of spending the rest of my life with you. I promise to show you nothing but love and happiness, my dear y/n." Shoto revealed, watching in shock as you nodded yes with tears flooding down you cheeks.

° He shakily slipping the ring onto your finger, beaming as you practically pounced onto him. Both of you laying on the grass as the moonlight reflected a beautiful art across the lake, tears in your eyes but a bright smile nonetheless. Shoto couldn't wait any longer, the perfect proposal had to be sealed with a soft lingering kiss. It was warm and gentle, his hands holding you as if you were the finest China. You were his most prized thing in life, why wouldn't he hold his fiancee like the treasure they are?

...

- Kaminari Denki -

° Denki kept pacing around the living room, did the lights look okay? Was the playlist ready? This was your favorite meal right? Was his hair too messy for this important moment? He was overthinking everything, but that's what happens when he finishes the set up half an hour before you can even get home. Denki was proposing to you, and he wanted to make sure you got nothing less than perfection for this night. Even if you said no, he still wanted it to be a nice night.

° Denki knew you were the one for him, everything about you was like a new addiction. Your laugh, your kisses, your body, your voice, your touch, even your scent drove him insane. But even if he loved you with everything he had, it still didn't calm down his nerves as he looked that the gold diamond laced ring with a small lightning bolt engraved on the inside. There was a chance you could say no, but he at least wanted to give the thought a chance before time slipped away from either of you.

" I'm home... Wow. Denki what's all of this? It's beautiful, but what's it for?" You asked, your chest full of butterflies as he stood from the couch in an expensive looking suit.

" Before I reveal everything to you, I'd like to share a dance with my dear sunshine." He revealed, taking your hand as your song began to play gently across the speakers he set up.

"This is so beautiful, Denki you're going to make me cry." You laughed bashfully, already overwhelmed by all of the work he put in just to make you feel special.

° You swayed gently across the living room, his head softly rested against yours as you smiled up at him. A warm tear curving across your heated cheeks, your heart too overjoyed to be able to handle all of the love he was handing you. Denki softly molded his lips against yours, letting you calm down and melt into the moment. You deserved to be happy, and happiness was all he wanted to give you. You chased after his lips shortly after he retreated from yours, he gave you a small peck before he pulled away from your body.

° Denki lowered the volume of the music, sneakily taking out the black velvet ring box that he hid in his suit pocket. Before you could question why he stopped dancing, he got onto one knee and opened up the box. Denki expressed every reason he's fallen in love with you, admitting that there is no one else he wants to be with other than you. There's no future without you in for him, and he wants to take that step towards it.

"My beautiful sunshine, you never fail to make me feel like the happiest man on earth. I used to think love was a myth, but you've proven me wrong. I now can't think of a future without me loving you in it, so will you let me love you for the rest of our lives?" Denki spoke up, tears welling up in his golden eyes.

° You squealed yes over and over again, laughing as tears flowed from your eyes. Denki rushed to his feet, slipping the ring onto his lover's finger. You clung to him as you cried out in joy, you were going to marry the man of your dreams. As you tried to regain some composure, Denki placed small kisses to the top of your head. His hands stroking your back warmly, he let you cry and squeal for as long as you wanted. You had the rest of your lives to look forward to, why not let you enjoy these moments for as long as you can?

...

- Katsuki Bakugo -

° Bakugo loved you, he adored the way you made him feel happy, the way you treated others, the comfort you gave him, and the safety net you always placed for anyone to fall into. That's why Bakugo held onto the red velvet ring box tightly as you both got onto the ferris wheel. The ferris wheel has benches and a small gap for him to kneal in, it was perfect. Bakugo had this planned ahead of time, already paying the carnival to help him with the proposal.

° The ride abruptly stopped, your cart at the very top as you looked over the town from such a beautiful point. Despite the ride stopping, you noticed that no one had gotten off so why did it stop? Just as you were becoming curious, a very familiar song began to play over the speakers. This was the song you and Bakugo danced to at prom, this was your song. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, a small glimmer of hope popping into your thoughts.

"Bakugo, did you perhaps plan this?" You questioned, leaning into his shoulder as you nodded along to the song.

"I did, but I also have something else that I need to tell you." Bakugo replied, pressing a small kiss to your head before he stood to his feet.

"What's going on?" You asked, your body trembling with anticipation as you watched your boyfriend take out a small box from his pocket.

° Bakugo got onto one knee, showing off the golden diamond ring with will a small fire like spiral holding the ring in place. Just as you began to feel tears well up in your eyes, you looked down to the carnival to see all of 1a and your families watching both of you. Bakugo held your hand with his free one, softly explaining that he wants to be your one and only and that he promises to love you for as long as he can.

° As he took a small break from his sentence, orange and yellow fireworks bursted into the night sky. Spelling out, will you marry me? Then finishing off with y/n l/n. You couldn't beleive all of the work he put into this, it was like something straight out of a fairytale. A small tug of his fingers brought your attention back to him, his heart racing with anticipation as he awaited your response. He wanted to hear a yes so badly, he needed a yes from you.

"Y/n l/n, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me? I swear to treat you like the treasure you are and give you everything you've ever wanted." Bakugo asked, pressing a small kiss to your knuckle while silently praying that you'll say yes.

° You practically screamed yes, causing the crowd below to cheer and let the proposal balloons fly into the night sky. Bakugo placed the ring onto your finger softly, smiling with pride as it fit your finger perfectly... It was meant to be. The ride began to go once again, but the small shake of the ferris wheel didn't stop you from placing a well deserved kiss to your Fiancee's lips. The kiss was passionate, warm, and a bit short. But there were many more kisses to give, especially since you two will be together for the rest of time.

...

#this took an embarrassing amount of time #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha fanfiction #bnha scenarios #bnha art #bnha fluff #bnha bakugou #bnha spoilers #bnha #bnha denki #bakugou katsuki #bnha smut #bakugou x reader #bakugo katuski #bakusquad #todoroki fluff #todoroki headcanons #todoroki smut #kaminari denki/shinsou hitoshi #denki fanart #kiribaku #denki smut #denki x reader #denki fluff #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x y/n #bnha hcs

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Autumn's Day

@ghouljams Oc Witch X Female Reader (Rún)

It was an autumn's day when you first fell in love.

This is based of @ghouljams Fae!Au for call of duty and my story Forgotten sorrows.

Warnings: Light mention of bullying and child abuse nothing graphic, hurt/comfort, angst, low self-esteem and confidence. But alot of soft moments too.

Masterlist

Words: 3.1K

You stand and watch different hues of maple leaves dancing in the wind. The warm colours felt out of place compared to how cold the weather felt. It had slipped your mind to grab your gloves on your way out the door. There weren't many people on this side of the park. But you could still hear the cheerful screams of children playing, getting excited for the Halloween festival. They were decorating the park with autumn garlands and stringed lights when you had walked by earlier. It was a week-long event in the city. A holiday cherished greatly by the residents. The autumn wind had lost the warmth of summer as October was coming to an end. It also signified the end of mushroom season. Which brought back a very fond memory. You pull your coat closer as you reminisce as the wind calms to a breeze dropping all leaves to the ground. 

-

You were in your room when the knock rang out through the orphanage. You had to scramble in the tight space of the closest sized room situated right beside the boiler cupboard. You used to share a room with two other girls, one being Daisy. But after stuff kept going missing or being broken you were moved here as a temporary measure they had said. It's been 3 years since then and you've turned 9. It's also been a year since you've met a wonderful friend even after everyone had stopped talking to you outside of necessity. The car incident was a very awful period in your life and Witch and her family had played a big part in getting you through it. 

You grab your tote bag and stuff your pencil and sketchbook which you had bought from Poundland on your birthday.  You clumsily grab your school shoes from under your desk and put them on as quickly as you could. Racing down the stairs you call out to whoever had answered the door for your friend.

“I'll be out in a bit! I just need to grab a few things”, you run to the kitchen and grab the zip lock bags and a small container with freshly made Blondies you had specifically put aside after you were done baking in the morning. You found it a little easier to breathe when people didn't talk to you so harshly. They were the least harsh when food and baked goods were made for them and the house was engulfed in its smell. It was also easier to get permission to leave the orphanage on days like this. You had gotten quite adept at making new snacks and recipes. Especially considering what food was available in the orphanage. And the younger kids would often come to you when they were hungry because they liked the way you cooked. They didn't ignore you as much compared to the older kids or shove you into things when the grown ups weren't looking. The carers were also less harsh with your punishments when you helped them out with chores. They didn't take away your sketchbook anymore but you were still expected to eat in your room alone on difficult days or go to bed with no food at all depending on what you were accused of doing. 

After gathering everything you run towards the front door. Opening it you see Witch waiting by the entrance with her grandmother and sister. She was such a radiant sight as if the sun herself had grown legs. As if she morphed herself into a sweet little girl and decided she wanted to walk the earth. Wearing her beautiful handmade dress and the flower crown you had gifted her yesterday you found yourself at a loss for words. The flowers hadn't lost an ounce of their vitality. They were in full bloom intertwined in her pretty hair. Your heart felt warm and fuzzy knowing she liked the gift. You couldn't help but be excited as you skip towards them happily. Your cheeks were hurting by the sheer amount of times you caught yourself smiling today looking forward to this outing. You knew in your heart this day would be one to remember. When you reach them the first thing you do is greet her grandmother as you hand her the brownies to enjoy later on with her girls. Witch grabs your hand and your heart almost stops beating. You should be used to her holding your hand by now but it felt odd considering the only physical affection you received is from her. You were happy nonetheless, perhaps a little clammy but happy. Her grandmother takes the younger sister's hand and you all walk to the park to gather mushrooms. 

Your eyes never leave her. Mapping out all the details of her face as she speaks. Her eyes lighting up with so much joy for today's outing. You don't think you've said much since you entered the forest side of the park. You're happy just listening to her soothing voice. Hearing her tell you all about the mushrooms and herbs she knew was very endearing especially when she went into detail about the uses they have in magic spells, potions and wards not that you knew how any of that worked. Even though you two were the same age it seemed she had an overflowing wealth of knowledge. Potential she was slowly learning to tap into. Generation upon generation of strength, love, protection was crammed into the little body walking next you, you wondered how she managed to withstand the weight of such care. She stood tall not in height but in sheer resolve. It was an image that would evoke pure admiration. Your fingers itch to carve her soul into paper. Just a small piece tucked away for yourself so you could remember this moment of utter bliss. Seeing her in her element was an otherworldly experience. 

Her hand leaves yours as her grandmother directs her on what mushrooms are needed. You miss the warmth that engulfed your hand for that short walk. But you ignore it as you go help her gather whatever she needs as her grandmother continues to hold her little sister who had grown tired of walking now. Witch would point and tell you what mushrooms were called and what dishes you could cook with them since you wouldn't be using them for magic. It was a nice moment and your little hands would carefully pluck and place some of the edible fungus in your ziplock bags. Once you were done Witch had gone and placed all the ingredients she harvested in her grandmother's baskets while also cooing and playing with her sister as she was a little fussing not being allowed to run around the forest. You take your sketchbook out to doodle some little drawings on plants and such while also sneaking in some sketches of Witch from time to time as you watch them play.

She was so so gentle and sweet with her, calmly explaining why she couldn't just run around. Carrying her sister with some difficulty in her small arms to get her to smile. Taking her little hands in her own, helping her jump up and down on the fallen leaves to get her to laugh again while also helping her grandmother gather and carry the harvest. Not only today, whenever you would visit her home or her grandmother's, she was always doing something productive. Either reading new spell books or honing in on her potion skills. Taking care of her garden. Helping her sister with homework. She was always doing something. You knew she enjoyed learning but you wished she had more time to herself. Whenever you saw her she was always helping someone. Always going the extra mile to make people feel taken care of. 

The realisation hits you out of nowhere. The amount of weight and responsibilities she carries without complaining, it would crush the majority of adults you knew. The magic that resides inside of her small body was surely a very heavy presence, you feel it often through her warmth. The weight of the sun she was upholding. If she didn't control it, if she didn't reign it in, she could scorch the entire planet if she wanted. She was more than capable of it. Though you doubt she would ever hurt innocent people.

Her responsibilities ran much deeper than you had originally thought. Making sure this magic, so closely guarded and cared for, would continue on for generations to come. Passing down centuries worth of knowledge to the next lineage you first have to learn centuries worth of knowledge. Learning hundreds of years worth of practiced magic and traditions couldn't be easy to handle. Retaining all that information would take its toll. She was only young yet her knowledge was beyond people her age, it probably far exceeds the intelligence of many adults as well. You wonder with so much pressure on her, how she keeps her head so high. Does the weight of the world not bring her down? Does the pull of gravity not get too much? It reminds you of that Shakespeare quote. ‘Uneasy is the head that wears the crown’. A crown of duty and commitment. To be precise and controlled so that her world would know order. 

You wanted to alleviate some of that weight so badly. Share the burden of the heavy crown on her head. But as much as you desired to do, it always felt like she was taking on your burdens than you hers. In her presence you have only ever felt ease, warmth and care. You wondered what she felt with you. Was it a mutual feeling? Or was she just this kind to everyone? Would she even want to stay friends in the future? Things were bad with you now, what if they got worse in the future? She shouldn't have to deal with that just because you two were friends. You knew it was selfish to be her friend knowing all the trouble your existence causes yet you find yourself unable to let go. She was the only one not afraid to be near you, to not blame you when things went wrong. Yet if you truly loved her you know you should let her go. Maybe you could be selfish a little longer though? No harm had come to her yet, mostly due to her family's wards but you hoped she'd never get hurt because of you. Maybe then you'd allow yourself to stay by her side. You promise yourself if the circumstances change and you become harmful for her you'll leave. 

You continue to draw mushrooms while Witch goes to show her sister different types of plants. The wind dances around you three carrying leaves along for the ride. Seeing her hair ruffled from the wind made you want to brush your fingers through it. But you settle for just drawing it down on paper, you wanted to remember this image and laugh about it in the future with her. You don't know how long you'll get or how long this friendship will last. So you needed to persevere these small moments so you can remember that you did in fact know joy. You watch her explain to her sister in simple words on what mushrooms were used for what spells. Witch was patient and understanding when she didn't quite get it. You heard her sister ask a question that made Witch laugh and placed a kiss on her forehead as she tried explaining again as their grandmother was behind them laughing along. You get up and look away letting them enjoy their tender moments together. It felt odd for you to witness it, like you weren't supposed to be here. You walk to another section of the forest still close by though, only a couple feet away. But before you could pick the mushrooms you were about to pick. Your hand is gently grabbed and engulfed in similar warmth to Witch. Her grandmother pulls you back with care. 

“Not those ones sweetheart, those belong to the Fae”, she points to the fairy ring you were about to pick from. “It's best if you keep away from them, unless you want to be taken to the wild”, she laughs lightly making a joke but the thought sticks inside your head. Would it be better for you to go to the wild? To disappear, to go somewhere you couldn't cause trouble. You knew for a fact if you didn't return to the orphanage today everyone would probably breathe a sigh of relief at your disappearance. You don't get much time to dwell on it before you hear Witch come over with her sister and takes your hand to get you further away as her grandmother watches with a gentle look in her eyes while she follows behind picking up the baskets and taking the younger girl's palm in hers so you two can walk ahead. 

“I think we've gathered enough for today, wouldn't want you to disappear on us”, she jokes while squeezing your hand, walking the path back to the built up park. A little distance away from her grandmother and sister. 

“Doesn't sound so bad”, you say under your breath but you watch her face fall at your words. 

“I-I was just kid-”

“I'd be devastated if you disappeared”, she states with the most serious expression you've ever seen on her face. “I'd be so sad if I never got to see you again. Or not being able to see what new art you've made, or hearing you talking about all the different types of art supplies you know about. I'll miss seeing you smile at me when you come to visit. I'll miss the way the air smells so sweet when you're around, or how your magic plays and messes with my hair because you can't control it. Or how it makes me feel breezy on difficult days. I'll miss you telling me your silly little jokes, I'll miss you being sneaky trying to drink my test potions. Or just having stupid arguments with you. I'll miss spending time with you, having adventures with you, learning new things with you, having fun with you. I'll miss you.” 

You were left speechless, your heart was fluttering in your chest. Never in your life had you felt so seen, so valued, so loved. You look at her as if she was the source of all the warmth in the universe. Feeling as if your world would freeze over if you let her go. You look into her eyes with all the love and affection you possessed as you squeeze her hand tightly not knowing how else to express your appreciation. You fight back the sting of tears not wanting to make this a big deal. But you knew at that moment you'd do your utmost to make her life a little less weighted, a little more fun and carefree. If she wanted you as much as you wanted her you'd find a way to be by her side. And if the time ever came and you were doing more harm than good you'd leave. But for now you'll enjoy her presence as much as you're allowed to do so. The rest of the walk was silent but you did give her a kiss goodbye on the cheek. Promising to meet soon. Gently strumming away at the golden tether until your next encounter. 

-

You suppose a lot has changed since then, you've both grown into young adults. You both have learned and accomplished many things. But that feeling of raw love never left. The light fluttering of your heart was ever present regardless of the fact if you had tethers or not. Though the tethers always amplified the feelings. Not having them prevented you from getting too greedy. When you had initially found out about Price you were scared, thinking he'll steal her away forever. But when you had seen the way he looked at her you knew no harm would come of it. Maybe just your loneliness after her disappearance. He'd bring her back wouldn't he? You thought you'd be jealous and to be honest you were at the start a little bit. You felt threatened by his expansive power. How he could so easily ease her worries, take the brunt of the weight of the world. Something you still couldn't accomplish thus far. 

But the thing is, you wouldn't blame her if she did decide to leave. With how heavy her burden has been all these years she deserves to go to a place where none of that matters. Where she has no responsibilities or duties to worry about. Somewhere she could just be herself and that was more than enough. You'd survive knowing she was taken care of. Though life would be bleak without her warmth and light. You have plenty of memories to turn back to when things get rough. Not to mention the sketchbooks you've filled with your adventures together. So many pages filled with glimpses into the past. Her radiant eyes, her perfect smile, eternally embedded into the cotton fibers of the sheets. Moments in time recorded on paper, cherished and loved to hold forever. You'd survive, you know you would. You had too. Her memory had to live on through you and your art. She'd forever be your muse. Until time himself came to hand you over to death. 

Your steps slow as you look up approaching the ancient cottage. Seemingly out of place compared to the newer houses beside it. But this house was here first, timeless in its construction. It shall forever remain here as long as her bloodline runs. 

You watch as Price and Witch exit the front door. You watch as he places the gentlest kiss by her ear whispering something that made her smack him and laugh. He gives her back a tender caress fixing her pretty dress before being shooed away. She looked so carefree, so light. Like she was finally coming into her skin. Not being forced to embody the sun anymore she could choose to be her rays instead. Free to go anywhere where the light could touch, not afraid to be snuffed out. They wait by the front gate as you approach smiling at you. Her eyes lighting up as you go to hug her tightly, Price watching you both with amusement as you eye him wearily. You don't know how much time you have left before he takes her. All you could do was make the most of it. She links her arms with you and Price as you begin walking to? Doesn't matter where you'd follow until you couldn't no more. 

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2023. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or use with AI technologies.

#1fae1 #forgotten sorrows #ghouljams oc witch #fae!price #fae!au #i love writing about witch and Rúns relationship and childhood #call of duty fanfic #call of duty #captain john price #oc #oc x someone else's oc #reader x someone else's oc #john soap mactavish #cod #cod mw2

[ja3hwa]

Fault | Yunho [Pt.2]

「Synopsis」 : Yunho Knew he was an idiot but was apologising to you going to be enough to get back the friendship he ruined?

「Word count」 :  2.5k

-> Genre: Angst, (Happy ending I swear)

Paring: Bestfriend!Yunho x GN!Reader

[Warnings] : A whole lot of tears, Insecurities, Mentions of cheating, if i missed something let me know

Note : Hi!! SO MANY OF YOU WANTED THIS! It's crazy this (and another series I'm doing eheh) have been my most requested. So I do hope you all enjoy this ♡♡

Part one

[REBLOG AND COMMENT FEEDBACK]

You thought the months being without Yunho were rough but the lone month after walking out on him at the dorm was torture. All your brain could think about was him. Every little detail of your life was designed and painfully filled with memories of him. You haven’t heard from him since that night, nor have you heard anything from his brothers either. It was like you were cut out completely, making you feel even more alone. Well except for one person. San. He was determined to check on you every day.

It became a routine throughout the month. Good morning texts, have you eaten or made sure to drink water. He rarely spoke about Yunho, and neither did you bring him up. He knew you were hurt because of him. But Like you, Yunho was hurt as well. He became mopey, avoiding everyone, not eating. Everything that you were doing he was doing. But you were slowly becoming better while he was just getting worse as the days went.

He fought with his fiance. Finding out she was not only cheating, but trying to bleed him dry for his money. News for her was his brothers cut her out before she could make him worse. He moved back into the dorms. But never left his room. The others were beginning to worry for him. And that’s what led to San, showing up. Slowly, and carefully into your life. Making sure you were okay before asking the big question.

“Hey, Do you know where San is?” Wooyoung purposely spoke in front of Yunho’s room, trying to get the male's attention. Maybe even drawing him out of his room.

“Hmm, I don’t know. The last time I saw him he was getting ready to go see y/n.” That’s it, Hongjoong spoke your name. Will that bring Yunho out? Before Wooyoung could speak again, the miracle happened.

“Why is he with them?” Yunho’s voice is groggy from not talking for so long. Luckily he did shower when everyone was asleep so he isn’t dirty, but he still looks it.

“San and y/n have been hanging out for a little bit now.” Wooyoung poked the bear with his words, viability seeing Yunho tense. All the members knew of his crush but none of them spoke up but now that he has royally and truly fucked up, they feel the need to push it. And since soft, careful pushing doesn’t seem to help, what about the latter?

Jealousy

“San!!” You scream, laughing as San tried to shield your view with his head. But you managed to snake your body away from him, until you jumped forward onto his lap, turning the tables in order to distract him. The finish line nearing, San leans on you, intensely staring at the screen trying his best to win. But to his surprise, you cross before him, taking his place as victor.

“HA! I WON!!” You cheer, turning onto your back while still laying on San's lap. He just laughed at you, looking like a kid, smiling widely. A smile he has been trying to get you to do for the past month. A real smile.

“Well, I guess I’m paying for food.” He laughs looking down at you. You suddenly stopped mid-laugh, your eyes growing big with glee. He leaned his head on the back of the couch as you jumped for your phone, throwing it to him making him fake wince in pain.

“Okay okay, what am I getti—” San’s voice softens as his mind travels off before his mouth could keep up. He sees your background on your phone. It was a picture of Yunho and you at the winter festival. It was the last time you saw Yunho before he disappeared. You were so happy. You were secretly planning to tell him that night, that you were in love with him. But when the time came and you asked him to meet you in the snowflake garden he never showed. It broke your heart and what was worse, San and all the members were there too. They saw your disappointment, your heartbreak. You left soon after that not bothering to say goodbye to the others. All they could do was watch as you walked away, lump in your throat and tears pouring down your cheeks.

“San? Are you okay?” You lent over looking at your phone screen to see what San got caught up looking at but you fell silent once you saw what it was. “Oh…That I… I ju—” Your sentence got entangled in your throat as a knock at your door echoed into the room. San and you both looked confused not expecting someone to be there. San immediately got up walking over with your phone still clutched into his hands. You follow him closely, gripping onto his shirt as he stopped at the front door.

“Yunho?” San's voice was snarky, surprised to say the least gripping your phone tightly. You hid your body behind San’s gripping him tighter as your heart starts to race. You’re shaking, scared. Why was he here, what did he want from you?

“San.” His voice was blunt, cutting through the tension in the air. You gulp down a ball of saliva, scared to even hear his voice. Yunho removed his anger-filled gaze from San to you, tilting his head slightly so he could see you hugging your face into San’s shirt. His anger rose, seeing you so close to San, like how he was with you before all this happened. Deep down he knew he had no right to be angry and no right to even be at your front door. This was his mess, but knowing you and San were hanging out, sparked something in him. Something feral.

Overthinking clouded his judgement. What if you were snuggling while watching a movie, just like how you and he would do whenever he was over. Or those knowing glances you would have with each other, he was so madly in love with you that he would crave to just trap you against the couch cushions and kiss you until his lips bled. He didn’t want San to have those feelings, to think what he thought. He didn’t want you to move from those memories and create new ones with another. He wants to be selfish with you. Have you all to himself, but he fucked up so much, that he is unsure how to gain you back.

The silence was clear that Yunho was here for you and only you, making San sigh in annoyance. He knew Wooyoung and the others were setting up this plan to see if they can get Yunho to finally at least try and apologies. You didn’t know of the plan but you were aware of him being back with the boys. San would bring him up every now and then, trying to see if you were interested in talking about him. You kept brushing it off, so San was always unsure about going ahead with this plan, not wanting to put you in a difficult situation.

“ I just remembered I got a text before…” San turned around so he could face his body to you. The grip on his shirt you had, now moved to you holding his arm tight. Your eyes were wide and glossy. They were filled with fear. You didn’t want him to leave you, not alone with him…

“Sannie please…” Your voice is croaked. A weak whisper is the only thing you can muster. You pleaded with wide doe eyes that fear to break into tears in any moment. Yunho internally cringed at the nickname you gave San. It was a cute name, something you and he would do for one another. He was YuYu and you were Tiny. No one else had a nickname, it was his and your thing, no one else. Guess what just another thing he fucked up on.

“If anything happens, and you need me. Call. But please…” He leans down to your ear so he could whisper his last words without Yunho hearing, causing the other male to become even more angry, feeling his blood boil with jealousy. Your eyes widen at his words, before nodding in response. San handed your phone back with a smile before turning to head out.

“Yunho,” Was the only thing he said to him before leaving your apartment, leaving you with him…

You didn’t speak, instead turning around and walking back into your apartment, heading towards the lounge room to clean up. Yunho invited himself in with your silence, walking soon after you once he removed his shoes. You sat down on the couch letting a sigh out before retching for a controller to switch the game off. Yunho watched you intensely, waiting for a moment to speak but worried about what might come out.

“Tiny I—Don’t call me that.” You cut him off sounding harsh, venom laced in your voice. He gulped, feeling tears gloss over his eyes. He stared down at the ground, choosing to let you talk first instead.

“First you stood me up at the festival, leave me wondering what I did wrong. Spent months trying to get a hold of you, thinking you might be dead. If it wasn’t for Seonghwa telling me that you called them I would have started a search party for you. Second, you come back with a fiance and break my heart all over again. Then I spend a month with San trying his hardest to be buddies with me but he is a terrible liar and so are the others and all they wanted from me was to talk to you again.” You stood up, facing him. Tears were running down your red cheeks but you gave up caring for tears. Yunho was also crying, looking at you with guilt smacked on his face.

“Why should I be the one to ask for you back? Was it all just a game? Was our friendship even real?” when you said that Yunho broke down, walking towards you, gripping your shoulders. You tried to push him off you but his firm grasp was no match.

“Please, Please don’t say that.” His voice croaked, saliva spitting out while hot tears smear on his face. He falls to his knees in front of you, hanging his head low. “Please, I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t want any other this. I’m so fucking stupid. I didn’t deserve someone like you, and I still don’t. But please. Please don’t think our friendship was anything but real.” He let out a sniffle, looking up at you with glossy eyes.

“You are my best friend.” Now it was your turn to burst into tears, hearing his words. You didn’t want to forgive him or even hear him out, but your heart is aching to just know his side of the story.

“Fine Yunho tell me… Why?” You whispered. You sat down on the couch while Yunho stayed on the floor, placing his hands on your knees before starting his side of all this. Turns out Wooyoung made a joke that night at the festival that Yunho should confess to you, and Yeosang remarked saying if you didn’t like him back that could ruin your friendship, and it scared him so he ran off. But what he didn’t expect was to run into his now ex-fiance while he was running. He offered to take her home cause of literally running into her and one thing lead to another she confessed and in his stupid mind, he thought this was fate giving him a way out. A way out to not ruin his friendship with you and to finally get rid of the feelings he has burred. But all it didn’t was make him realize how much love he had for you but by then it was too late. His ex made sure to only focus on her and so he didn’t see, speak or hear from you or any of his brothers. He was stupid., drunken by the hope of finally being able to make everyone happy but all he did was make it worse.

“I went home about a month ago to find her with someone else. I left and went back to the dorms and been there since. I’m so sorry y/n. I don’t expect you to forgive me or even see me as anything other than a friend but I am seriously stupid.” He looked down, pouring his heart out to you, crying his eyes out. Your silence was killing him. He didn’t know what you were thinking of but god sometimes he wishes he could read minds.

“Tiny…” You whisper making him look up at you confused.

“W-what?” He tilted his head.

“It’s Tiny to you Mr.” You smile through your tears, making his heart jump. Hugging your legs his head rests on your lap. You were going to forgive him but he needed to work for it. You can't live without him any longer but that doesn’t mean he is off the hook.

“You should just have told me, cause that night I was going to confess to you,” you said making Yunho sit straight up with a shocked expression.

“You were?” You nodded at his question making him whine, feeling even more like an idiot. Silence fell for a moment at you rubbed your fingers through his hair as he kept his head on your lap. He got up and sat next to you grabbing both of your hands he looks at you dead in the eyes.

“Tiny…W-would you doing me the honour of forgiving this idiot and let me take you on a date.” He asked running his thumbs on your palms. You pretend to think about it before saying a simple ‘yes’, making him tackle you in a tight hug, trapping you against the couch and his larger body. He was finally happy again and all he said to do was apologise. He is going to have to remember that just in case.

"By the way..." Yunho mumbles into your chest. "What did San say to you before he left?" You could help but chuckle at his words. Even though it wasn't necessary to tell him he was itching to know.

"What you jealous?" You laughed making him sit his head up, darting his eyes around the room.

"What!? No? I just I—Yuyu it's okay I'm just teasing." You cut his rambles off seeing his ears turn a bright, shade of pink.

"He said to give you a chance." You smile making Yunho grumble in annoyance. Of course, San was just trying to be a nice friend. He lays his head back down, holding you a little bit tighter, just in case. Cause in this moment he was never going to let you go.

-

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