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yanderenightmare · 4 months

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Gojo Satoru x darling

TW: NSFW, noncon, fantasy au

gn reader

Thinking about hunter Gojo and the pretty little nymph that gets themselves snared in one of his traps.

You can’t get your poor leg loose, having twisted your ankle in your fall to the ground – something’s wrong with your wing too, you can feel it – the thin network’s been folded, almost broken – so even if you did manage getting loose, you wouldn’t be able to fly away.

Branches snap around you along the crunch of old leaves – and your heart’s beating out of your chest in fear of it – knowing something large and dangerous is not far behind, that whoever set the trap is not something that wishes you well.

“You’re not a rabbit.” The man says, having crept in close before you’d even heard him approach – crouching in front of you with a hunter's grace. Hawk-eyes ice-blue and piercing, hair as white as pure snow.

He’s got three daggers sleaved in his belt – a fillet knife, a gutting knife, and a larger one you imagine is meant to slice throats. He doesn’t carry a sword like most men but has a bow and sack of arrows slung on his back. Otherwise, dressed lightly – brown leather boots, brown slacks, and a blue cotton shirt. You could have mistaken him for a woodland elf if it weren’t for the thick stench of man.

“Eating creatures from the holy forest is forbidden.” You snip, despite your wide eyes and the wobble of fear evident on your lip.

He only smiles at the quip, a grin like a predator humored by prey. “You wouldn’t tell a wolf not to hunt.”

He stalks you, leaning in closer, and you try shuffling away – but the movement only makes you wince.

“I’m just another hungry animal…”

Rope gnaws into your fine skin while his breath puffs hot and dewy on your face.

“And tonight… seems lady luck has favored me once again.”

He gags you and ties you further up before redoing his snare for the next unlucky creature – then carries you over his shoulder until he’s dropping you down on a bed of furs.

Your skin flushes with goosebumps at the thought of being skinned the same way – mouthing a little prayer around the cloth he’s split your teeth and lips with. He’s cut trees down as well; you hear their pitiful screams when he lights a fire with their bodies. You mourn them, too.

At his full height, the man must be two heads taller than any male nymph you’ve ever seen and at least three heads taller than you. You hope you’re enough to satisfy him tonight, to spare the forest of further bloodshed.

You shiver and sniffle when he starts prepping you – removing your clothes and groping your tender, fleshy places with a strength you’re not used to – hands large and crass – kneading you like dough – probably to assess the quality of your meat. He has a smile on his face while at it.

Humans make you sick – to think he’s planning on roasting then eating you despite the soul fueling your spirit and the beating heart in your chest. But you’ve long known that all death but their own matters little to them – they don’t feel the same way nymphs do – they don’t regard life with the same respect they’ve donned themselves. It must be a sad and lonely existence, you think. It even makes you feel a little sorry for him.

You yelp when his gritty fingers brush the area between your legs – shimmying when he lowers his mouth down to the same place. Oh God – does he plan on eating you raw? While your body’s still hot and pumping blood?

But the bite never comes – not yet eating but tasting it would seem – licking and slurping and sucking on you.

He takes his shirt off. Probably to avoid spilling on it, you think.

You don’t really understand what’s going on until he’s got his fat manhood pointed toward your kernel-sized hole. Eyes wide as he splits you apart slowly and unabashedly – as though it isn't as deviant as a dog mating a cat – sinking in inch after meaty inch.

You whimper at the stretch – wincing when the plush mushroom-shaped head grinds against that special place inside you.

It doesn’t fit more than halfway, but that doesn’t seem to bother him – rolling his head back with a rusty groan, even with just the tip gaining purchase within you – pounding into you like a beast in his rut.

“What's the matter, pretty nymph? Did you think I was gonna eat you?” He laughs, bearing over you – his hands steadying your hips to meet his sharp thrust – each hit deeper than the last. “I’m the only hunter in this forest; I can eat what I want when I want – but eating you?” He scoffed and snickered. “That would just be a waste.”

The blood on his breath makes you wrinkle your nose – squeezing your eyes shut as his tongue sweeps up the tear streaks on your cheek.

“My stomach’s already full. Time to empty my balls.”

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emiliehornby · 4 months

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i beg you (and you don’t understand)

pairing luke castellan x fem! child of athena! reader

synopsis luke knew you loved him enough to fight a war for him, but you should have known that history would eventually write you two against each other

warnings MAJOR spoilers for the lightning thief

author’s notes turns out i can’t go too long without writing angst!! so after listening to history of man by maisie peters, i had an idea and completely ran with it. writing this literally had me kicking my feet!! happy first fic of the year!! woohoo!! apologies in advance though lol

Luke had once asked you, “Do you ever think about what our lives would look like if we weren’t here?”

“Like at camp? Maybe a little too much. It’s not like we can do anything about it, but if I get the chance to be with you in every lifetime, it can’t be too bad. Right?” You smiled.

“To Tartarus and back?” He placed a hand on your cheek.

You leaned into him, “To Tartarus and back, baby.”

“Luke. Luke is the traitor.”

Percy’s words swam in your ears. You should have known it when he barely came back alive from his quest and looked for someone to blame. Heck, just last week, Luke had admitted he imagined a future with you, away from the burdens of being demigods. For the first time in forever, he had felt at peace. The signs had been right in front of you…yet you still didn’t see them coming.

Some daughter of Athena you were.

The campers occupying the infirmary came to a stop at Percy’s declaration. As the boy went on to explain how he’d been poisoned by a scorpion and exposed Luke’s vendetta, they hung onto every word. The question as to how the golden boy at camp came to be so angry at the world lingered in the air.

And you hated it.

You stood from beside Percy’s bedside, “Chris…go get Peter, Maisie, and Delilah. If anyone else wants to help, they can. But we have to look for him.”

“On it.” Chris nodded.

“You guys, stay here.” You told Percy, Annabeth, and Grover.

Percy failed to follow your orders. Instead, he staggered outside the infirmary while his friend’s pleas for him to stay were ignored. The son of Poseidon fell into step with you and screamed, “Didn’t you hear what I just said?! Why would you wanna find Luke after what he’s done?”

You turned around, “Because he would have done it for me!” Percy’s body bumped into yours. You reached over at his sides to stabilize him. An ounce of doubt in your own words sparked a slight burn building in the back of your throat. You tried to bite it back, only for it to be replaced with a heavy weight falling onto your shoulders.

“Then if anyone gets to look for him, it should be me.” Percy demanded.

You patted his hair, “And if anyone can get to his head, it’s me, Percy.”

“Where do you want us?” Chris cut your conversation short. Delilah came from behind him, handing over your daggers.

“You guys head towards the North Woods. I’ll be near the border. We’ll circle back at the Big House.” You placed one in your holster, nodding in the direction they were supposed to take. Your friends wished you luck and ran straight through the trees while you pointed a dagger at Percy, “I mean it. Stay here, you’re safer that way.”

You left without another word.

Amidst your search, you bumped into your siblings, who shared sympathetic looks, and other Hermes kids, who offered to accompany you. You insisted on treading this alone, a sense of obligation clouding over you to do so. Luke had been it for you since the beginning, and a twisted part of you didn’t want that to change. If you could just get a moment alone with him, maybe you could convince him the impending war wasn’t worth it. Maybe eventually, the Gods would get their punishments…

You didn’t realize how long you’d been wandering the forest. You dreaded coming back to camp without Luke, taking your time while the sky settled into a warm orange to guide you through your last round of the forest outside the border. You twisted a dagger around your wrist to keep you occupied, coming to a halt when a pile of leaves crunched from behind you. Slowly, you turned around to seemingly nothing, but the tracks in the dirt told you a different story.

You scolded your sister, “It’s not safe out here.”

“Then come back to camp with me.” Annabeth removed her cap.

You shook your head, “I- Look, I can’t.”

Annabeth tried to convince you, “Luke probably left as soon as Percy was poisoned. But the Gods will find a way to deal with him-”

“The Gods shouldn’t have to deal with him! If they didn’t just abandon us, we wouldn’t even be here right now!” Your sister’s face fell as you couldn’t help but raise your voice. When she failed to look at you, you shut your eyes and took a deep breath.

Gods, you just wanted Luke to come home to you. Was that too much to ask?

You waved her over, “Annabeth…come here.”

She listened and you wrapped your arms around her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I just want to help. Luke was my family too.” Annabeth gave you a squeeze.

“I know, but you have to listen to me. Okay?” You pulled away to place your hands on her cheeks. For a second, you saw the shadow of your sister at seven years old, the age she was when she first came to camp. You looked her in the eyes to clearly instruct her, “Go back to the cabin. I just need a second.”

“I’m not leaving you here-” Annabeth frowned.

“I’ll be right behind you. I promise.” You reassured her.

Annabeth refused to take no for an answer, “Then I’ll wait for you by the border.”

You pat her head and gently pushed her towards camp, “Go.”

You had barely reached the border when you felt someone staring at you.

“When you said you’d wait for me by the border, I thought you meant you’d be behind it.” You joked around, thinking it was Annabeth.

Instead, a voice replied in the distance, “You know how Annabeth can be with loopholes.” You tightened a grip on your dagger, circling around to pinpoint where the echo came from. When you felt a rustle in the wind, you turned around sharply. The tip of the blade hovered just centimeters away from Luke’s throat.

Your stare hardened, “What’s stopping me from turning you in right now?”

“Easy. You’d never do that to me.” Luke cracked a smile.

You couldn’t even argue with him.

You feared to ask, “So it’s true…what you did to Percy?”

His silence was enough of an answer.

Luke tapped the edge of the blade and moved closer to you. His mere presence rendered you defenseless as you let him take the dagger from you and drop it into the dirt. You faltered when he tried to hold you close, one hand holding his wrist while the other punched at his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re okay.” He took the blows with ease.

You looked up at him, “Luke.”

He couldn’t stop himself from kissing you. His hand cupped at your jaw while you placed your hands on his neck. Like it was muscle memory, he took two steps forward to gently pin you up against the nearest tree. You deepened the kiss, feeling his pulse quicken against your fingers, savoring the moment. Luke was the first to pull away, but he only leaned further into your touch.

“Come with me.” He begged.

“Luke…” You whispered.

He tried to explain himself, “You have to understand…I wanted to give us a chance in this new world that’s waiting for us. I did this for us. So come with me.”

You forced yourself to face reality. You may have stood in front of your past and present, but you had to think about the future. This wasn’t Camp Half Blood. You weren’t playfully sparring for bragging rights or working on strategies in the Hermes cabin to win capture the flag. You lived in a world where a war between the Gods was imminent because of the boy you loved. This is what you had been training for, but you couldn’t do anything to convince him it was wrong.

So you pushed him away.

You yelled, “Annabeth! Chiron! Anyone?!” He spared you a glance before narrowly escaping between the trees. When he was nothing but a shadow, you will yourself to run off as fast as your legs could carry you. You didn’t care that your body felt like it was burning in the pits of Tartarus. You didn’t want to stop until you found a familiar face.

You turned around in case he followed you, even though a feeling in your gut told you that was it. You yelled again, “Annabeth- umph!” You collided straight into the girl, falling just behind Thalia’s tree. You groaned, rolling off of her and wiping your face. Annabeth sat up to check on you, making sure you came back unharmed.

“Annabeth?! Y/N?!” Percy ran in with Riptide in his hand and Grover at his side. You couldn’t help but laugh at the look on their faces.

“Are you okay?” Grover sat himself next to you. His gentle touch on your back turned your laughter into tears. They slowly fell down your face, burying yourself into your hands as you sobbed. Your sister and the satyr were patient while you worked through your emotions, both of them sharing a look before glaring at Percy. Silent expressions were thrown between the trio until a pointed look from Annabeth made Percy sit down in defeat. He used Riptide to draw shapes into the dirt while they comforted you.

You finally lifted your head up, confessing, “Luke asked me…he asked me to join him.”

Grover only asked what everyone hesitated to, “What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t- I can’t believe he would even ask that in the first place. I didn’t know what to do, so I just…I ran. I shouldn’t have run.” Your voice faltered when Annabeth gently wiped under your eyes. Afraid to go deeper into the subject if it meant accepting Luke’s fate, you nodded over at Percy instead, silent “You didn’t have to come in full force, you know. Thank you.”

Percy only shrugged, “Hey, you’d do it for me.”

“I’m sorry, Percy.” You apologized for snapping at him before you left. You apologized for Luke poisoning him. You apologized for the universe that brought him, a child, into this path he didn’t choose to take.

“Yeah, me too.” Percy was sorry it turned out like this. He was sorry for Luke hurting you, the one he loved the most. He was sorry about the Gods, who could have prevented this if they just loved their children a little more.

You broke his thoughts to beckon him over, “Come over here.”

Hesitantly, Percy obliged. When his feet touched yours, you yanked him down and brought the kids under your arms. They couldn’t help but lean deeper into you, hoping the love you had for each other would get you through the idea of a war you’d have no choice but to inevitably partake in. You pressed a kiss to Annabeth’s head, unaware of Luke, who silently watched you take the kids back to their cabins and turned to leave you behind.

One day, you’d find it in yourself to heal from the betrayal that blindsided you all. But you were his weakness, and it would only be a matter of time before someone took advantage of that. It wouldn’t be long until you met again.

After all, history had its eyes on you two.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson imagine #luke castellan #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #stevie writes!

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finelinevogue · 2 months

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notes on love

summary - harry attends the football and you attend the baftas

pairing - fiance!harry x famous!reader

word count - ~1.5k

*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*

It was the first time Harry had made a public appearance in months.

Sans a hat on his head.

After braving a shave to solidify a new chapter in his life, Harry had decided that enough was enough and he just wanted to be seen again. Gain some new publicity.

“I can’t do this.” Harry’s voice rang through your phone.

Your phone was currently propped up on the vanity in front of you, whilst your stylist gracefully worked around you to get your hair and makeup done.

“H, baby. You’re going to a football match where over half the population there will be white bald men. You’ll blend right in.”

You took a sip of your apple juice in its carton as you suppressed a laugh. Harry rolled his eyes at you, taking the joke like the good sport he is.

“I actually have more hair than them. I’m not bald anymore.”

“See! Embrace the new hair, H. You look really good.”

Harry smiled at you then, his eyes which had previously been darting between watching you and looking out the moving car window were now permanently on you.

“Not as beautiful as you, though, love.”

“Don’t even have my makeup on yet.”

“Never needed it.”

You blew him a camera kiss for those words alone.

“Where are you now?” You reached for a slice of pineapple from the bowl of fruit you’d ordered from room service.

“About five minutes away I think. Are you still in the hotel?”

“Yeah. Don’t need to be ready until 5.”

You were getting ready for the BAFTAS, which Harry had hoped to be there with you for but you’d decided to take your nan as your date instead since she wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

Harry was more than happy to let Nana, as he liked to call her, be your date to the BAFTAS. Plus, it meant that he could go see the football.

“You’re going to look so pretty.”

Harry had helped your pick out your dress, which was a sophisticated black to contrast the red carpet you’d be walking down. The dress itself was beautifully cut and shaped you in all the right places, making you look elegant and regal.

“I’m nervous.” You picked up your phone so the conversation felt a little more intimate, even though it was still over face-time.

“Why, love?”

“Don’t normally do stuff like this without you.” You pouted.

Harry wished he could kiss that pout away, “And yet the times that you do, you always end up winning! It’s like they never want you to win when i’m there.”

It was a running joke that Harry was your ‘bad luck charm’.

You didn’t believe that though. It’s just that other actors performed better and won, over you, because of it. If anything, you always won because you got to go home and drink hot tea and eat popcorn with your Harry.

“I’ll miss you.” Your face was so close to the camera that Harry could probably see up your nose.

“I miss you. Send me photos when you’re getting ready. I wanna see you before anyone else.”

“Okay.” You smiled. It was routine at this point to always show each other’s public outfits before anyone else.

“Have you got your ring?”

You held up your left hand and wiggled your ring finger in front of the camera. You blushed thinking about the moment that you got given the piece of delicate jewellery, with Harry on one knee.

“Always.”

“You going to wear it on the carpet?”

“Of course. Not going to draw attention to it though. I’ll let people discover it for themselves.”

Harry laughed at the thought. You two were practically the biggest, most A-List, celebrity couple around at the moment and so when people watch sight of you with the ring there’s no doubt it’s all people will talk about for weeks.

Someone told Harry they’d arrived at the venue, then.

“I have to go, honey, but text me updates please. Wanna see you get ready through photos, okay?”

“Okay.” You promised. “Text me to let me know you’re safely home later, please.”

Even though he was going back to his Manchester home, you still liked to know that he was safe and sound. Especially since you were in London and weren’t going to get to be with him tonight.

“Will do. I love you.” Harry kissed his fingers and then dotted them over the camera.

You returned the gesture, “I love you. Bye, bye, bye!”

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

You were just finishing getting ready and scrolling through Twitter.

Harry was trending worldwide for showcasing his new hair. His growing hair. No one had seen him like this since the end of Tour last year.

You pouted because you missed him a lot.

People were absolutely loving it. As always, a lot of people were losing their shit over Harry content. You were too, because you missed him.

“Oh, he looks so good!” Your stylist, Jamie, gasped behind you.

Jamie was currently fixing your hair and you had to say they had done an impressive job.

“I know.” You smiled to yourself.

“He looks like a sexy CEO.”

You laughed out loud at that, “When he puts on his glasses he does.” You agreed.

“Harry wears glasses?” Jamie gasped.

“Yeah, hang on..”

You started to go through your camera roll. It was only a few days ago that he had gotten new glasses, because he’d managed to lose his old ones. Typical.

You stopped on a photo of Harry sat in bed with the duvet up on his chest, a book in his lap and his glasses on. He didn’t realise you had taken the photo of him, but it was now one of your favourites.

“Oh damn…” Jamie gasped. “If your marriage ever goes south, tell him I’ll be available.”

You laughed again, shaking your head in dismissal but also approval.

You went back to Twitter to see if any of the Harrie accounts you follow have tweeted anything. You make yourself laugh as you look through their feral comments.

And just because you like to cause a riot on the internet you liked an insane tweet.

harriesmiles: the way that this photo makes me want to cling onto harry like a koala bear and never let go

It wasn’t long before you were trending with Harry.

Then the face-time call comes through from him.

“Am I done?” You asked Jamie quickly.

He nods, knowing you routine with Harry, and allows you to slip into the bathroom next to the bedroom.

You answered the call shortly after locking the bathroom door.

“Hellooo.” You said in a weird voice, feeling hyper from the Twitter craze.

“Hi, babe.” Harry was obviously outside and trying to watch where he was going, more than looking at you.

“Has the match finished?”

“Yeah.” And you honestly didn’t care enough about football to ask how it went. “Are you ready?”

Harry’s eyes flicked down to his screen momentarily, smirking when he catches sight of your glammed out makeup.

One thing Harry loved more than anything was you in a red-lip, so of course you had to make sure you had one for him - despite the fact he couldn’t kiss it off you tonight.

“What?” You giggled, watching him trying to suppress his smirk in public.

“You’re so annoying. I’m trying to act all cool and mysterious here and you’re making me smile like an idiot.”

You dipped your head and smiled, accentuating the blush that was already powdered onto your cheeks.

“H, honey, you’re walking through the streets of Manchester. No one cares about how you act. They’re probably all drunk anyways.”

“True, true.”

“Did you have a pint?” You propped your phone on the counter.

“Uh, yeah.” He said whilst trying to cross a road.

“Love, do you want to call me back when you’re at less risk of being hit by a car?” You sarcastically asked.

“No!” He yelped. “No. Needs to be now.”

You gave him a confused look but carried on regardless.

You shuffled back in the bathroom, giving him a full angle.

You watched in anticipation as Harry looked at you through his tiny screen, wishing it were ten times bigger.

“Wow.” Was all he said and you giggled like a girl having a high-school crush. “I love you so much.”

“So you like?” You swished your dress from side to side.

“Mhm. Wishing I wasn’t so far from you now.”

“Tomorrow. I’ll have all the kisses for you then.”

“Tomorrow it is, then.” Harry smirked to himself, kissing the camera.

Little did you know that tomorrow was coming a lot sooner. In fact, Harry had been running for the earliest train out of Manchester and down to London for the duration of the phone call. Because Harry was always going to show up for you.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfic #ask finelinevogue #harry blurb #finelinevogue #harry styles concept #harry oneshot #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic rec

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epilary · 6 months

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your instagram if spencer reid asked you out in the fall part 2 | masterlist | requests open

Liked by Dr.Spencer.Reid and 25 others

y/n soft launching as the kids call it

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→ sweetums ooh so this is who spencer’s been seeing 👀

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid How did you even find this post?

→ sweetums i work for the fbi and also follow you and see what you like

Liked by sweetums and 37 others

y/n i happen to beat the best chess player every time

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→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I have no idea what you’re talking about..

→ y/n ooh sure mr. moves his knight instead of queen which could’ve taken out my king

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I was just distracted by a certain someone

→ y/n oh my god that was both awful and amazing

Liked by prentiss and 10 others

Dr.Spencer.Reid Late nights (10/10/2023)

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→ jareau.j You guys just look so adorable!! When are we meeting this mystery woman?

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid When the time is right, which will be never because you guys like to embarrass me

→ derekmorgan So this is what’s been making you so giddy, pretty boy?

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I don’t know what you’re talking about

→ y/n wouldn’t want to spend them any other way <3

Liked by sweetums and 20 others

y/n his hair is growing out so quickly :((

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→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I thought you liked my longer hair 😦

→ y/n oh i do, but i like running my hands through your shorter hair

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid On my way to cut it right now

→ y/n you’re ridiculous

Liked by y/n and 12 others

Dr.Spencer.Reid Yeah she's pretty great (10/22/2023)

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→ y/n right back atcha hot stuff

→ sweetums I love this lady already

→ prentiss It’s like watching my kid grow up and get his first girlfriend 🥹

→ AaronHotchner. Can’t believe this might be Jack someday, they grow up so quickly

Liked by Dr.Spencer.Reid and 49 others

y/n can't get over how small the mouth is on that pumpkin..

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→ derekmorgan How did you convince him to do this?? I need to know your secret

→ y/n it didn’t take much convincing, just told him i’d go to a museum with him next weekend

→ derekmorgan Museums, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that

→ Rossi It seems you’ve been a great influence on our Spencer

→ y/n thank you mr. rossi!

Liked by sweetums and 28 others

y/n meeting the family, wish me luck ;)

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→ prentiss It was lovely to meet you! Can’t believe we’re just now meeting you

→ y/n right? i couldn’t tell if spencer was worried i’d embarrass him or you guys would

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid Now I just have to meet your family

→ y/n oh that’ll be insane, trust me

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid Considering I work with these guys, nothing’s insane

Liked by prentiss and 17 others

Dr.Spencer.Reid It’s getting colder out (11/02/2023)

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→ y/n i would love staying snuggled up with you for the rest of the reason

→ Dr. Spencer.Reid I would too, maybe this weekend 😄

→ derekmorgan You gotta slyly bring your arm over her shoulders and then you’ve really got her

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid We’ve been dating for months now, I don’t really think I need that

→ y/n i don’t know, you should give it a try

#spencer reid instagram #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds instagram #criminal minds x reader #social media au

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dcxdpdabbles · 4 months

Note

In the cave boy fic, I hope Danny has to end up fighting against reanimated hot dogs (I blame the Joker) and when asked why he can fight off reanimated meat. he comments that that's a normal Tuesday in his house as his mom and dad end up reanimating dinner at least once a week, and honestly being here is the longest time he spent without having to fight against reanimated food. He loves his parents but they really need to practice better lab safety or at least stop putting the ectoplasm samples in the same fridge with the food.

This is also adjusted to the cave boy storyline before he takes out the Joker.

One morning, Brucie wakes up and decides to cook everyone breakfast since the night previous was rough for the crime fighters. Almost everyone had gotten injured in one of Riddler's games, nothing life-threatening, but they would be sore and in some cases, in casts for some time. Alfred had been the one to patch the heroes up, so even the aged butler had a rough time.

Bruice had woken before anyone, quickly frying up some sausages, making various versions of eggs (boiled, scrambled, fried, over-easy, omelets) spread out on the table for them to pick which lond they wanted. He made some oatmeal and cut up various fruit in a pretty arrangement of swans.

When the family finally dragged their tired bodies down to the table, they were all greeted by the sight of Alfred being utterly flabbergasted by the spread Bruice proudly presented. Bruicie happily has them take a seat, gathering a plate for them- not before forcing Alfred to sit at the head of the table and make Bruce move to the seat usually reserved for the Lady of the house- and cheerfully place a plate before him.

Everyone was giving each other unsure looks or staring at the plates in wonder. Even Bruce.

Because if there was one thing that was another consent in all the multiverse it was that Bruce Wayne can not cook. The closest any variate has even gotten was burned beyond recognition ash.

Yet here was an entire spread that while not the meal of kings still looked rather taste and some may even say artsty.

"Don't just sit there. Dig in!" Brucie laughs. His hair bounces around his face in an adorable helo, and the family can only stare.

"How did you do this? Is it laced with something?" Tim's voice is heavy with suspicion, which would have been an overreaction if everyone wasn't feeling the same way.

"What? No, It's just eggs, sausage and fruit. With some presentation, I guess, but this isn't hard to make," Brucie says with a hint of defensiveness. "I worked really hard on it."

"We all appricate it Brucie." Dick speaks up leveling the table with a hard look "And we will eat it no matter the taste."

Ah, that must be it. It may look editable, but indeed it would taste terrible. In fact, they wouldn't put it past a version of Bruce Wayne to cause them all to cling to a toilet with his cooking.

Knowing it best to get it over with, the Bats pick up a utensil and carefully cut a bite of eggs or sausage. They hesitate for a moment- Brucie digs in, chewing loudly and quickly through his omelet-throwing. Each other looks to wish them luck, and in one symmetrical movement, everyone eats.

It's...heavenly. It tastes as good as Alfred's food, which they thought no one could match. Before they know it, they fill their plates and go for seconds, not long afterward.

Alfred is all but glowing with paternal pride by the end.

"Young Master Brucie, I had no idea you knew how to cook and so wonderfully as well!" Aldred compliments

Brucie looks up, one piece of sausage dangling from his mouth, reminding them he had no table manners. How in the world does Alfred of his world allow that? They would never know.

Brucie swallows before grinning widely. "Thanks. I love cooking when it's not attacking me."

What?

"Come again?" Bruce asks, blinking slowly as Brucie launches into tale after tale about his food reanimating and creating armies in the family fridge to fight for their freedoms. Or just eating as quickly as possible to prevent the food from coming to life.

He jokingly points at the plate with the sausage. "We better hurry before they develop eyes."

He then just goes back to eating like nothing and the rest of the table is left horrified. Eventually, Brucie excuses himself to go watch a mind-numbing movie- because he doesn't do anything- and they rush the food down to the cave for tests.

They all panic until the results come back like usual, and they realize that he is likely just joking. They all feel bad for doubting him, all but Tim and Cass, who knew Brucie had not lied or joked.

His food honestly did come to life in his old world. They just don't know what to do with that information.

Why did Bruce have to be weird in all universes?

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Cave Boy Au #Danny can cook...when his parents don't contaminate it.#The bats don't know what to do with a Bruce that can cook #They thought he was trying to poison then.

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urfavoriteitalian · 4 months

Text

“someone older”

summary: in which Charles can’t satisfy your sexual needs and you and Lewis share a little secret

warning: SMUT! (mdi), age gap, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap!), cheating, oral f, fingering,slapping, p in v, dirty talk, praise, degrading, that’s all i think.. :)

note: i’m sorry that y/n will cheat on Charles, but i needed a victim 🥲

I was in the bed, the night before US GP, Charles was in the shower trying to calm down for the next day. I was scrolling through Tiktok when he came out of the bathroom. I took a look of him, wet hair, visible v-shape, towel resting on the hips. I squeezed my things together at the sight.

“Babe” I called him, he turned, after wearing his boxer, “Yeah?” he said while looking himself in the mirror, adjusting his hair, “Why don’t you come here?” I asked patting the empty space next to me on the bed.

He didn’t answer, he get on the bed, and left a quick kiss on my temple, before picking up his phone. I took his face in my hands, and lead his lips on mine. At first he followed the movement of my lips, but when I tried to deepen it, he moved away “Baby, I have the Gran Prix tomorrow, you know the rules” he told me.

The rules. In my opinion, lately, Charles has found all the excuses of this world for not touching me, and when he did, he couldn’t satisfy my needs. I took his hand on my thing “Charles please” i begged “I need you”. He scoffed, taking his hand off my thing “Stop acting like a needy teenager” he said, turning to the side.

The next day, in the Ferrari garage, Charles was talking with the engineer about the car, and I was talking with Carlos about some good place to go eat. “Hey guys, can I get in?”

I freeze, that voice, his voice. Lewis entered the garage, after Carlos told him he could, my eyes locked with his, and he wicked me, before go talking with Charles. “I just wanted to wish you a good luck for the race, since yesterday i couldn’t” he said, talking with Charles and Carlos.

They talked for a while, and it was embarrassing how i couldn’t keep my eyes off him for the whole time. “Now I really need to go, or my teammates will kill me” he said laughing. After saying goodbye to the two pilots, he come towards me. He placed his tattooed hand on my lower back and left a sweet kiss on my cheek, way to close to my mouth, but Charles didn’t notice since he was busy talking with some engineers, “I hope i see you later” he whispered in my ear, and then left the garage.

Before I started dating Charles, I had a sort of relationship with Lewis. Relationship is actually a big word. We would just hang up a couple of times, and then find ourselves rolling in the bed sheets of one of the two. More then a couple actually. But when I stared seeing Charles i completely cut off all the relationships with Lewis, and I asked him to keep this secret between us.

So every time I saw him, I tried to act my best, but Lewis didn’t help me at all. Always putting his hand on my lower back, almost kiss me on the lips, and whisper things to my ear in that strong english accent.

after the race.

Lewis and Charles has been disqualified, and for the whole trip to the hotel, Charles hasn’t said a word. When we arrived to our room, Charles quick changed and made his way towards the door. “Where are you going?” i asked him, and he stopped at my words “I just want to be alone for a bit”. I jumped off the bed and go towards him, “Stay here.” I said putting my hand on his. One thing I’ve always knew about Charles was that in situations like this he likes to be alone, but he’d much rather be in the hotel room that God knows where, so i decided to give him his space. “I can go far a walk with Heidi” I reassured him, sweetly smiling.

He just nod and go again towards the bathroom for change. I get out the room, closing the door behind me, not knowing at all where to go, until a name crossed my mind. Lewis. Ha has been disqualified too, and maybe he need someone to talk to. Just talk. I repeated to my self. Talk and nothing more. Before I could realize, I was in front of Lewis’ room, 404. I knocked, but he didn’t open the door, so I thought that maybe he wanted to be alone too. What a stupid idea.

Before I could turn my self completely and go away, I heard the door open, and my name being called. I turned again, and I find Lewis leaning on the door frame, half naked, grey pants only, braids in a little bun, but two behind his ear, and a damn smirk on his face “Need something?” ha asked

I gulped a bit, realizing in what situation i was putting my self into, “I..”, he didn’t gave me the time to talk “Come on, get in” he said moving from the door frame. It was like my brain wasn’t working and my feet was walking by themselves. I entered the room, and Lewis locked the door behind him.

“So” he started indicating me to sit on the bed, and I did, “Need something?” he asked again crossing his arms, knowing damn well he looks hot in that moment. “I just wanted to tell that i’m sorry for your disqualification” i said looking at my shoes.

“Look at me darling” he said getting close to me, and I did, “I just wanted to tell that i’m sorry for your disqualification” I said again. “Does Charles know that you’re here?” he asked and I didn’t answered. He got way more close to me, picking up my chin in his tattooed fingers

“Do you want tell me why you’re really here, or you want keep acting like the innocent girl we both know you aren’t?” ha started caress my cheek. “I told you, i just wanted to tell you that i’m sorry” I said, most like a whisper.

He get on his knees in front of me “Does he touch you like a do?” he asked caressing my knee, I gulped “Because I think that’s why you’re here” he started caressing my bare thighs. “You’re here because no boy, can touch you like a man” I sighed, and squeezed my thighs together, and he smirked “Tell me, does he make you feel the way that I did?”

I looked away from him “No..” I said, he started kiss my thigh “Look at me darling”. He put his hands around my neck and without said nothing he harshly kissed me. It wasn’t a love, sweet kiss, like the one that Charles would give to me, it was a needy, lust kiss. I gasped and he took a chance for put he tongue in my mouth. He moved the hand off my neck and put it again on my thighs, squeezing them possessively, I moan. He bite my lower lip, and moved his face between my legs. He started kiss my legs, then my thighs “Always around with this squeezy outfit” he got closer to my wet core “I bet he doesn’t even fuck you in them”

My skirt was not rolled on my hips, he smiled when he noticed how wet I was. He quickly removed my thong, and attached his lips to my wet core. I tried not to moan and I put my hand on this beautiful braids, squeezing them for pleasure. Without warning he put two fingers inside of me and I almost screamed.

“God you’re so tight, baby” his thumb stared made circular movements on my clit, the other hand put my thighs on his shoulders, while his fingers continued working inside of me. I bite my lower lip, trying not to moan, but Lewis slapped my cheek, “I want hear you”

The more Lewis’ fingers worked inside of me, the more I got louder. My legs stared shaking, and now I was practically chocking him with my legs “Lewis..” I called him between my moans. My walls started cleched around his fingers, and my mouth was spilling his name no stop. I came with a loud moan and Lewis kissed me and I savoured my taste from before.

Before I could recover from my early cum, that Lewis took my clothes off, i got closer to him, and removed his grey pants. I touched his now hard cock from the boxer, but he stopped me by kissing me again, and whispered to my ear “Get on your hands and knees”.

I did as told getting on my hands and knees and arching my back for him. He slapped my ass harsly “I bet he doesn’t know what a slut you’re”, he caressed my ass cheek and then slapped it again. I turned my head to look at him. Lewis took his boxer off, and jerked a bounce of times, that sight of him made my cunt clench around nothing. Lewis laughed at that and shook his head, “Such a slut” he said getting his cock closer to my cunt “Clenching because i’m jerking off”.

His cock was now running up and down my wet folds. I arched my back more, to get more friction “Lewis.. Please” I begged him, but it looked more like a desperate whine. Lewis chuckled, and after harsly grabbed my hips, he entered me. I grabbed the sheets of the bed and moaned loudly his name.

“Look at you” he groaned “Getting finally fuck like the whore you are”. I moaned without replying, Lewis put his hand in my hair and with a strong grip he makes my back stick to his chest. “God you’re so tight” he whispered in my ear “Needed someone older mh? Someone who knows how to fuck whores like you” he told and started leaving open mouth kiss on my neck. I clenched at his words and he groaned in response “I missed this cunt” he said, and put his hand around my neck.

At this point I was moaning mess, I put my head on his shoulder, and I almost yelled when he puts his thumb on my clint and played with it. All that came out of my mouth were moans and begs, I didn’t even know what I was begging him for, but my brain couldn’t think straight in that moment. “Tell me” Lewis slightly chocked me “Tell me how good I make you feel”

I didn’t answer, and he slapped my ass, for sure leaving a mark. I moaned again “So good” I shutter “You make me feel so good” and he groaned. The room was filled by our moans, mostly mine, and the sound of our skin meeting each other. I was getting close, I could feel by the nod in my stomach and my legs shaking “Lewis” I called him for the million time “I’m close” I said.

“Come baby” he said, while his movements were getting sloppier and he was losing his rhythm “Make a mess on my cock”. It was all I needed to cum, I repeated his name like a prayer, and i left myself lay on the bed, not able to stand alone. Lewis came right after me, filling me up with his cum. He took his cock out of me and I whined for the loss of contact.

He laid next to me, and took my hair of my face. He left a sweet kiss on my lips “Did I hurt you?” he asked worried. Sometimes, it looked like the person who fucked me, and Lewis were two different persons. I shook my hand with a smile, and I kissed him again “It was great, thank you” I put my head on his bare chest, and Lewis caressed my back.

Another secret that we would share..

note: hi!! this is my first post here, I hope that you guys liked :), I read it a couple of times, but maybe there’s still some mistakes. sorry but english isn’t my first language.

love ya,

Carla 💋

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton smut #smut #us gp 2023 #charles leclerc #f1 #f1 x reader #mercedes amg f1 #f1 2023 #carlos sainz #mercedes #ferrari #formula 1 #f1 smut #image #fanfic #aesthetic #oldermen #first post

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daddyricsdoll · 5 months

Text

The guy coming home to me ✭ Carlos Sainz

Summary: Investing in a F1 team in the middle of your worldwide tour was very outrageous and threw many questions at you. But of course they didn't know that you happened to date one of the drivers in the team, until a concert in Singapore.

Warnings: None, I know it's so different of me.

Word count: 0.7k

A/N: Based off of this request.

You try to ignore all the camera’s that surround you, never getting a break whether you're picking up groceries or attending a big sports event. The voices behind the camera’s ask you questions that all revolve around the same thing– Your new sponsorship with Scuderia Ferrari F1 team.

It had come as a surprise to nearly everyone as you were halfway through your worldwide tour and decided to shake hands with a team in a sport you secretly loved. But they didn’t know that, and they also didn’t know about your months-long relationship with Carlos Sainz, one of the two drivers for the team.

The week of the Singapore Grand Prix had started and you had meticulously planned your concert in the same country and city as one of your favourite races.

So on the Thursday in which all the drivers did media work you sat in a stadium counting the hours until you could do what you love, with the person you love in the same premises. As you received free paddock passes they received concert tickets and tonight happened to be the day everything lined up.

It was a coincidence to people that glanced, but the ones that stared could have noticed it was more. Probably from the times I went to races and interacted with many people but disappeared with a specific someone or when my attention couldn’t be divided between both Ferrari drivers and stuck to one. The one with dark brunette hair and eyes that glisten the same colour. Full and plump lips that I enjoy against mine, compliment his smooth accent and delicate fingers that can show rough.

Apparently Carlos had been scrutinised about it as well, but listening to his P.R had paid off and he slid out of the situation easily. Therefore when you asked him to attend one of your concerts he accepted but with the company of a few of his fellow drivers. It was under one hour until you were to get on stage and the driver’s decided to give you a little good luck. You greeted them all with hugs, one lasting longer than others but they didn’t notice.

“You gonna do something special for us?” Lando asks jokingly.

“You gonna get a podium?” You ask in the same tone and manage to gain a chuckle from him.

You have to cut your conversations short and run off for final costume and makeup touch ups before making your way on stage. But not without Carlos sneaking his way through and wishing you a more personal good luck. He captures your lips in his and then mutter’s a few words against your skin. “Good luck Cariño, but I already know you’re gonna do great.” And in the time he leaves to get seated you stand at the back of the stage waiting for your queue.

It makes you beam at how the crowd screams when they capture your silhouette and even better when you actually emerge on stage. Through every song, you catch a glimpse of Carlos, his eyes always on you.

As it edges closer into the night you realise how fast time has gone by, in which you have reached your last song of this warm night–Karma. You put all of your last energy into this song moving from one end of the stage to the other.

As you reach the near end of the bridge you make your way to the end of the stage with your eyes stuck on Carlos’ it was more than obvious. “Karma is the guy on the tracks, coming straight home to me.” You point at him with a proud smile as red and yellow fireworks emit into the sky accompanied by the same colours of confetti and lights.

You continue singing but can’t hold back your laughter as the faces of everyone in the stadium alter, especially the drivers. They all start shouting and bunch around Carlos with wide grins on their faces, including hints of curiosity. Through the crowd you manage to catch a glance of Carlos and you couldn’t be happier with the expression he wears. His big smile as his friends jump around him and confetti covers them all. He catches your eye and mouths “te amo”, you mouth it back and let out a content sigh, happy that he is the guy coming home to you.

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fluff #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula one

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muikitoo · 4 months

Text

Their favourite physical part of you!

Rottmnt x gn! reader

Warnings:

Includes both sfw and nsfw(not direct action) the nsfw only goes for the future versions of the turtles!

A/N:

I finally posted! Shocker i know. I didnt have any ideas but this js popped up cuz i used to love hc like these. I've never written for gn reader so pls give some tips, ty!

Sfw:

Donnie

- This dude likes your hands. He likes when you hold hands and how they fit perfectly in his.

- he LOVES to play with them too, especially when he has nothing to do or when hes stressed.

- Even tho he isnt big on physical touch, he LOVES when u hold his face. But i feel like he would actually enjoy it as long as it isnt unexpected or when hes irritated!

- he would probably try and sneakily hold ur hand around family without anyone noticing bc he will not hear the end of it (*cough cough* Leo.)

- probably zones out while watching u do anything with ur hands (paint, write, even fiddle with random stuff)

- you probably have him melting if u ever try and give his shoulders a gentle massage with your hands

- in short, he loves ur hands and holds them any chance he gets cuz hes touch starved af.

Bonus: you guys probably have some morse code and he taps his fingers a certain way if he feels uncomfortable and wants you to leave the room with him.

Leo

- i think its obvious he would like your hair.

- He loves playing with your hair when you guys are cuddling.

- will style your hair. Maybe even ask Mikey to join in too. Youll probably end up with atleast 50 hair clips by the end of it.

- if u have long pretty hair u bet he WILL DRAMATICALLY SOB once u cut it off, but he loves it regardless.

- melts and grins like an idiot if u dye it blue. Brags to his brothers about it.

- "guys look! See? See? They love me so much they dyed their hair blue!"

- low-key jealous u have hair..

- I also hc that he loves ur arms too!

- oh lord dont get me started on the arms. If you're a bit muscular and u start flexing/training he would be dead. Gone. In the grave.

- even so he would love to have you wrap your arms around him

- dude wants to be babied so badly

Mikey

- ADORES your smile and your eyes.

- he loves how your eyes lit up when youre excited. Or the way a smile keeps up on your lips when you talk about something your passionate about.

- your sweet giggles are heavenly atp.

- loves loves loves loves the way u praise him when he creates something.

- you have this boy head over heels.

- the way you look at him with complete love in your eyes makes him want to sob on the SPOT.

- you're so adorable he just wants to kiss u on the spot (cuteness aggression atp)

- he js wants to see you happy :(

Raph

- i feel like he would also like your hands. Theyre so small compared to his.

- Loves everything atp, tho he does get scared. Especially if you're smaller than him. Hes so scared that he'll crush you!

- probably likes your cheeks.

- bro would squish and cup them then just slightly nuzzle your noses.

- gets flustered when you cup his cheeks too

NSFW‼️ Aged up!

If you do not wish to see any of this, please exit!

Thighs, chest or ass?

F! Donnie

- if i have to be completely 100% honest? He doesnt care about any. At all. Just loves you.

- but if i had to give an answer for sake of these hc? thighs. No words. Just thighs.

- loves it when you crush his head between them.

- will grip your thighs, leaving slight marks but not enough to actually hurt you. He doesnt want that.

- loves leaving marks and kisses on them.

- if hes stressed because of a failed project, he'll just lay between your thighs in your shared bed. Occasionally giving a small nibble here and there.

- If you're wearing short shorts, good luck.☠️ Do not expect slow and passionate Donnie.

F! Leo

- all of the above.

- mostly an ass and chest guy.

- He would probably slap your ass occasionally, but not hard enough to hurt you. Again, he hates that.

- but if you beg him to do that? He'll be hesitant but if you beg hard enough he might.

- leaves bite marks.

- I did say he loves your arms and when you flex them, but he also loves your chest.

- your gender doesnt matter. He notices you panting and your chest rising up and down?

- Lord. This man does not know is he wants to dominate you or be dominated.

- Loves trailing teasing kisses and slight bites up and down your chest.

- Loves to cum on your chest and ass. He thinks you look so pretty.

- still wants to shove his face in your thighs tho

F! Mikey

- Again, he probably doesnt care either. He loves you regardless of your body.

- He just wants to make you feel loved.

- But again, for the sake of this - i think he'd be a chest and thighs guy.

- Loves laying on your chest, loves leaving kisses and bites.

- nuzzles his face either on your chest or on the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent.

- hes so sweet, but will shamelessly cum on your chest. Especially when youre giving him head.

- he loves your thighs, doesnt care if theyre small or big.

- he thinks theyre so soft<3

F! Raph

- Waist. And belly. Forget everything above, just waist.

- Again, bros scared he will crush you. Especially since hes much much much larger now.

- He really doesn't want to hurt you :(

- He loves to grab your waist. Its so tiny compared to his giant hands.

- Dont get me started with the belly. Chubby or not he loves squishing the soft flesh on your belly.

- covers it with his cum.

- He loves it.

Important!

I just wanted to say these are not meant to be accurate, these are js what i think the rise turtles would like physically! I struggled a LOT with mikey and raph.

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skylarsblue · 13 days

Text

★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★

(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★

Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.

- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.

- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-

Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.

- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)

Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.

- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-

- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.

- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.

- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.

- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*

- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.

- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*

- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.

- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.

- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.

- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.

- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.

- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)

Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.

- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.

- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!

- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.

- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.

- (Modern au and suicide joke)

John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.

- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!

- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.

- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!

- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.

NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-

*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*

Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;

- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.

- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.

- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????

Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.

- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.

- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.

- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)

Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.

- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!

- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.

- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.

- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!

- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.

- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!

- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.

(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????

- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!

- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)

Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???

(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)

Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!

- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)

Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:

- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.

- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.

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angel-of-the-moons · 7 months

Note

I haven’t stopped thinking about that Hobie baby fever fic ever since you posted it. Many thoughts. Many thoughts many many thoughts and ideas many many little ideas.

You have people saying ‘Oh good luck lol kids are SO hard!’ ‘He’s definitely gonna regret it you’re gonna be a single parent’. But Hobie’s probably been WISHING from a young age he could be a parent, the only thing he didn’t prep for is your little one grabbing his wicks and him nervously calling out “Luv, luv help me LUV-”. He learnt very quickly to tie his hair back when he’s holding them. If you have a little girl, everyone always thinks it’s you who’s done her hair for the day or for school. NOPE. Hobie’s been with her in the bathroom since 6 in the morning putting her in braids and buns. Your baby is his whole world and he’ll be DAMNED if he won’t be the absolute best dad EVER ‼️

Oh my godddddddddd my ovaries went 💥💥

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet Pt. 2

Dad!Hobie x Wife!Reader

TW/CW: A lil angst at the start, Fluff. So much fluff.

A/N: I'm basing all my baby prep off of the things I had to do for my nephew. I am unsure the proper care that goes into textured hair but I hope I can do it justice!

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

You remember what people told you, how "someone like him" wouldn't be able to handle being a dad, how he'd leave you. The words said by your mother hurt the worst, the things she said about Hobie. Your father was no better, especially when they found out you two agreed to get pregnant before anything else.

Especially after you put the positive pregnancy tests, the test results from blood work with your doctor, and some baby booties on the table as a surprise.

It was supposed to go like you imagined, right? Happy jubilant crying, hugs, congratulations...

You got the exact opposite, with your parents criticizing everything about your boyfriend, the father of your unborn baby. The man you loved.

"What kind of father would he be? A bad one, just look at how he's dressed! You think he can help dress your child?" Your mother scoffed. "And those awful piercings! I bet your baby will be running around with holes in their face by the time they're six!"

"And what about a job? You can't be the only one to support your family. He's a man, he needs to step up and quit it with that "punk lifestyle". It's not suitable to raise my grandchild in!" Your father grunted.

After your baby was born, you cut them off and had a courthouse wedding, and a little get-together with his friends from the Spider Society. A mix of a reception and baby shower.

Joke's on them! Hobie was an amazing father, and an amazing husband. The moment he found out you two were having a little girl?

Pink. And. Purple. Her style would be all punkish of course.

He got stuffed instruments that crinkled for when she would teethe, some guitar-shaped rattles...

And he would never admit it, but Hobie actually cried, when he got to hold your baby girl for the first time. You guys named her Selena. Selena Brown.

She came out angry, wailing, as if she was pissed off at the world she had only been in for a few moments.

"Already got the spirit! Make a big noise, a big statement. That's my girl!" Hobie laughed, playing with her tiny feet.

After that, Hobie was very attentive. From you working from home, he would help. He'd fetch the breast pump when you needed it, would prep the bottles, and keep Selena occupied while you worked. He would even take the late shifts at night to make sure you got your rest.

As Selena got bigger, her hair became a bit unruly, and at times you had no idea what to do with it. Hobie? He came in clutch. The proper ties, hair masks, grease (if needed), oils, brushes...

The trick was getting the rambunctious one year old to hold still while her father attempted to tame the poofy mass.

It was one day, you got up from your computer only to hear Hobie shout your name.

"Babe! Babe!" He cried out, grunting.

Of course, you made a dash for the living room, only to see your husband with your toddler. Apparently she had moved behind him, her hands clinging to his shirt to help keep her balanced as she bounced on her little chubby feet.

Her big brown eyes gleamed as she giggled, her bottom teeth poking out in the most adorable way.

Well... it wasn't from where Hobie sat.

Selena's little fist had a tight hold over one of his wicks, tugging his head back sharp.

"A lil' help, luv?!" He winced, hissing at you as you covered your face to try and keep from laughing.

"Come on, Bug, give daddy's poor head a rest. He's got enough problems with that mess he calls hair." You tease, scooping up your little girl.

But... even though her grip loosened, Hobie's wick stayed attached to her hand.

"Oh... ohhhhh..." You said, clicking your tongue.

"What! What!" Hobie groaned, trying to tug his head free.

"You made me have a spider baby."

#hobie brown x reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown #atsv hobie #hobie spiderverse #my writing #answered

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pupkashi · 9 months

Note

congrats on 1k followers jess!! I'm so glad I found your blog bc your writing is just amazing! here's to many more milestones!! can I request the prompt “i told you i have a meeting in an hour! get out of the bathroom!” from the champagne list with the silly white haired man aka gojo <333

thank u miya 🫶🏼 !! ilysm <333 i hope you enjoy :3

join the party!

you’re rushing around your apartment, struggling to put on your uniform as you fix your hair a bit.

“satoru have you seen my uniform top?” you shout, eyes landing on the closed restroom door, you knock quickly.

“yes?” he asks, the door only cracking open a bit so you can see a sliver of his face.

“I told you i have a meeting in an hour! get out of the bathroom i still have to brush my teeth and fix my hair and-” satoru closes the door on you.

“hey!” your brows furrowing and your voice going up a higher pitch.

“if i open this door then you’re gonna leave me!” he calls from behind the closed door.

“satoru it’s a meeting with the higher ups” you sigh, glancing at the clock on the wall. you had to leave now if you didn’t wanna be late. “I can’t afford to be late like you can, please” you beg, knocking on the door again.

satoru cracks the door open again.

“i haven’t seen you all week” the small pout on his face is evident even with only an eight of his face showing.

“i know pretty, I’m sorry” your lips turning downwards as he opens the door a bit more, “i won’t take long i swear” you promise, hoping it would encourage him to let you in the restroom.

but as soon as the door swings open and you’re about to step in, satoru is grabbing you, the air around you whooshing violently and the ground beneath your feet turning into the familiar floor of Jujutsu halls.

“what the fuck!” you scold, look at your boyfriend and smoothing you hair down, “satoru i look terrible what’s wrong with you? I’m wearing a stained shirt!” you cry, looking around, thankful no one else is in the hall.

satoru is quick to shield your body with his, peeling his black t shirt off and handing it to you, a smirk on his face as your eyes wander down to his abs.

“thought you were in a hurry?” he teases, you snicker before taking your dirty shirt off and replacing it with his, grumbling as you check your reflection in one of the windows.

“god they’re gonna think I’m so unprofessional, they’re gonna hate me and-” satoru cuts your words off by grabbing you by your waist and pulling you into him.

“you’ll be fine sweetheart, I’ll sweet talk ‘em when you’re through with them” he smiles, you shake your head as soon as the proposition leaves his mouth.

“if anything they’ll hate me even more by association!” your lover pouts at your words, kissing your cheek before letting you go. wishing you good luck as you walk into the room.

the meeting didn’t take long, and satoru was teleporting the two of you home in no time, glad to be back home with your lover.

“don’t ever teleport me away before I’m done getting ready” you say, looking up at your boyfriend, a grin on his face as he nods.

“okay i won’t” he says, already heading back towards the door.

“where are you going?” you ask, brows furrowing as he opens the front door.

“i had a meeting with them like three hours ago” he laughs, waving goodbye with a soft smile, “see you in a bit!”

“satoru gojo!” you scold, but the only response you get is a sing songy ‘love you~!’ as he closes the door behind him.

#pupkashi’s 1k follower bash!#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru drabble #gojo x reader #gojo satoru imagine #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo drabble #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader fluff

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gunthermunch · 6 months

Text

[Transcript under the cut]

Bluma: rows and flows of angled- angel hair Bluma: and ice cream castles in the air and fa-feather UGH canyons everywhere Mila: can i join you? Bluma: …singing? Mila: sitting. Bluma: oh. that's better, i'm not a good singer Mila: me neither, but i do love that song. Bluma: mmmnhgh Mila: what's wrong, pumpkin? Bluma: i lied to you, the guys from school are right. i do avoid my classmates as of lately Mila: oh, Bluma- why are you keeping all this to yourself? Bluma shrugs Bluma: they don't even like me anyways. it's not like my parents can do anything about it Mila: hmm… Bluma: i'm not letting my mom kill a child! Mila: who said anything about killing someone? Bluma: i know your ploty face! Bluma: sighs Bluma: …one day this girl Orla asked me why i didn't like getting my pictures taken and i told her it's because it makes me sad i get to show up on them and my mom doesn't and she just backed off. and then some kids laughed. i thought Orla was nice Bluma: i just wish i got to feel normal outside of my house one day Mila: you'll find your people, munchkin. you're just so little still Mila: and you know who used to struggle in a similar way? Bluma: who? Mila: grandpa. Bluma: … i guess we both have a coconut allergy Mila: oh not Marcus darling i meant- Mila: I guess your dad didn't tell you about Ernest yet. Bluma: who's Ernest? Mila: your father and uncles' dad, and my very first big big love, and husband. Bluma: …wait Bluma: Marcus is not my real grandpa?! Mila: darling you have two real grandpas. Bluma: okay this can be great. where is he? Mila: oh uh- he- is… gone, honey. Bluma: hm. my luck today is really bad. Bluma: how did he fix himself anyways? Mila: well, he didn't. we just found each other and made a family Mila: and then you eventually came along. So… let's say i love a nice weirdo Bluma: i appreciate your honesty, Mila Munch. Mila: thank you. Bluma sighs in relief Bluma: i like this room Mila: i still think it stinks, but if you like it we can make it yours next summer Bluma: really? Mila: of course. Bluma: can we hang stars from the ceiling Mila: yes. Bluma: and can i triple braid your hair while we watch TV? Mila: oh yes. Bluma: i love you grandma Mila: i love you too, my baby.

WG: yeah there's no way im sending this. sorry Marcus: it's chill. do you feel better tho? WG: kinda. who knew Gunther was right about that writing your feelings over thing Marcus: speaking of that, what are you even doing over there? WG: uhh uncleing? and i guess i've been playing a lot of guitar. and singing WG: i stopped sucking a little Marcus: man you should totally try and make something out of that. get out! travel! make yourself a city guy! WG: aha… who knows really. WG: hey uh thank you. i didn't mean to dump all that onto you. Lucas did say something about you being great at this but holy shit Marcus: eh, i'm just a mama's boy that watched too many telenovelas with her. Mila: and it shows. Marcus: heeyy Mils!

WG: HEY Blooms! let's get you home already

Bluma: coming!!

#aha.....#ts4 #ts4 story #munch #wolfgang munch #mila munch #marcus flex #bluma vatore

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jaegersdevil · 7 months

Text

the lamest prank [satoru gojo x reader]

a little something i came up with in like half an hour, enjoy :P

masterlist

"...You're up to something, aren't you?" Satoru's voice cuts through the silence in your room, causing you to jump in surprise.

Glancing over your shoulder, palm to your chest, you glare at your best friend. "You scared the shit out of me."

Satoru shrugs, stepping further into your dorm, his eyes narrowing at the packet of Oreos and toothpaste tubes laid out in front of you on the floor.

"Why are you devising the lamest prank in the world?"

You roll your eyes and turn back to your project. "This was meant to be for 'Guru, and you, but I guess the cat's out of the bag."

Satoru threw his head back in laughter, his hand on his stomach. "You're so cute."

Your eyes widen as you spread the toothpaste onto one side of the cookie. "You don't sound particularly upset about being the victim of my prank."

"Oh, I'm not," He says casually as he moves around you to sit on your bed.

You squint at him. "Then why do you look so annoyed?"

Satoru says nothing, but his bright eyes behind his sunglasses tell you everything you need to know.

Sighing, you hold out your hand with a tube of toothpaste and an Oreo in your palm. "You're upset I didn't include you, aren't you?"

Taking the items from your grasp, Satoru smirks. "A little..."

"Well, you usually don't invite the person you want to prank to help you set it up, do you?"

"Guess not. But it's good my daily snooping resulted in something interesting today... It's better than yesterday... Haibara will not like what I saw."

"What?" You furrow your eyebrows. "You're such a nerd, 'Toru."

"Yeah, whatever," He rolls his eyes, white hair falling over his eyes. "Pass me that knife, loser."

After his fingers graze yours, you nod your head toward the uncapped tube in his hand. "You better load that one up good. Suguru used my shampoo yesterday, and then he stole my leftover sashimi in the fridge."

"Oh, that was me. That was so fresh, so delicious," Satoru moans. "Best I've ever had, actually."

Your jaw falls open, and you shake your head. "Fuck you, Gojo."

"Nuh-uh, you don't get to curse the only one who's gonna help you out of this situation later," He raises an eyebrow. "Wait, why were you pranking me? What did I do?"

You give him a deadpan look. "It's more like, what haven't you done?"

A gasp leaves Satoru's lips, and he leans down to place his finished cookie on the plate next to you. "You wound me, my love."

"And you are the most annoying pain in my ass ever, so we're even."

"You love me," Satoru coos, ruffling your hair. You swat his hand away, laughing.

"In your dreams."

"Wow, I didn't know you were psychic!" Satoru reels back dramatically and lays on your bed. "What else can you tell me about my future?"

When he's met with silence, Gojo sits up to see you holding an Oreo out for him.

"Snack?" The sickly sweet smile on your face is to be expected when you're dealing with his shit, so Satoru takes the cookie, unsuspecting.

"Oh, and you're giving me treats?" He clutches his chest. "You really are the greatest thing to ever exist, aren't you?"

But soon, his face screws up in disgust when he realises the cream between the cookie isn't vanilla but minty sludge instead.

"The ultimate betrayal!" He splutters, spitting the cookie into his hand, his hair swaying with each movement. "That's fucking disgusting."

A small, real smile pulls at the corners of your mouth. "Get out of my room, Satoru."

He tilts his head at the softness in your voice and stands. "As you wish," Gojo takes one step but crouches beside you. "Good luck with your little experiment."

You hum in response, rendered speechless when he leans closer to kiss your forehead. But when you don't wipe it off like usual, Satoru feels his heart skip a beat.

"Though, I'm telling Suguru to keep clear of the Oreos in the common area," He whispers. "And I used your shampoo too... he doesn't deserve to endure the pain I just did."

You gasp, dropping the objects in your hands onto the plate below.

At your reaction, Satoru laughs and stands. "Kidding."

"I hate you!" You throw a tube of toothpaste at him as he runs out of your room, slamming the door behind him.

But, later that afternoon, Suguru could be heard gagging in the common area, and you knew Gojo loved a lame prank.

#this is lame #and not in a good way #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo imagine #satoru gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen #— ann writes!

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anisespice · 1 year

Text

“ headshot ” || tokyo rev.

synopsis: how the bonten execs. would react to a gun being pointed at you/your head.

pairing: bonten x fem!reader

warnings: mature language, gun violence, reader cries in some, mentions of bodily harm (only on the antags), and i think that’s it

notes: thought of this while on a car ride, staring at trees…not sure what that says about me, but here she is lol i’m a little iffy on mikey’s since i think his was the shortest, but i liked keeping some of these open-ended. hope you enjoy!

manjiro ッ

Wouldn’t react much on the outside, but on the inside that man could probably melt a building with his rage alone. It occurred during a small gathering amongst investors, corrupt and all. You had been by his side throughout the whole night until you left to go to the bathroom…that was several minutes ago. He’s already a paranoid man, so the moment the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, he gave Sanzu a pointed look—Find her.

However, that wouldn’t be necessary.

Before the cotton candy-haired gangster even had time to get excited about the potential hunt, some bootlicker came barreling through the crowd with you in a headlock, and a gun pressed into your temple. Both of you looked disheveled, no doubt your doing from putting up a good fight, he proudly noted. The fucker probably ambushed you in the bathroom, taking his opportunity when you left Mikey’s side—Pussy-ass bitch. He didn’t know if the guy was bold or just plain stupid standing smack-dab in the lion’s den, threatening the only life Mikey found precious.

“Nobody moves! Or I’ll blow her goddamn brains out!”

Didn’t matter, though. He’d surely pay with his.

sanzu ッ

Over a game of poker, some guy whose luck just wasn’t on his side decided he deserved retribution—And you were unfortunately the one to pay it forward. You were perched on Sanzu’s lap, sitting prettily as you laughed at the silly men crying after taking a heavy loss from your man. For him, it was like nails on a chalkboard hearing you mock the table alongside that crackhead, his inferiority complex spewing venomous thoughts in his head that you needed to be taken down a couple notches.

A death wish. That dumbass had a death wish.

He abruptly stood, knocked the table over and aimed his sorry excuse of a gun right at you, rendering everyone else speechless. Sanzu barely reacted but felt you startle, cooing softly in your ear as he lovingly tapped you on the thigh in reassurance. You relaxed instantly, eyeing down the barrel of the gun with mirth as the guy began to shake. Blame it on the alcohol, blame it on the heat of the moment, or even the bottomless debt he just put himself in, but one thing was for certain—He fucked up big time, no rush.

You couldn’t see it, but Sanzu had murderous intent hidden behind his calm exterior. And everyone at that table knew it as they scattered from the scene. Probably wasn't the smartest choice to bet his luck against yours, though. For someone who was already absolute dogshit at poker, Sanzu figured he’d be doing this guy a favor anyways.

“How ballsy of you. Guess I’d better cut ‘em off.”

ran ッ

Not gonna lie, whoever decided to test his gangsta like that would surely need to evaporate IMMEDIATELY after because there’s absolutely no SHOT of them, they mama, they second cousin, or even that one neighbor who used to live by them, surviving this man’s wrath.

Especially if they tried it in his own home.

The poor guy didn’t even get to make his demands, Ran was on him so quick he damn near broke the laws of physics. You’d never seen a grown man beg for mercy to the point of literally pissing himself before, but it definitely lightened your mood. You even pointed and laughed, despite the tears still falling down your face from the unpleasant experience. Ran merely grinned adoringly at you as he twisted the assailant’s arm in three different ways.

“There’s my favorite smile ♡. I’ll make sure this fucker suffers for almost taking it away from me, angel.”

rindou ッ

It’s always the younger siblings that are the more unhinged. He already don’t play that bullshit when it comes to you, your safety becoming one of his main priorities the moment you agreed to be with him. Anyone who dared to compromise that would fuck around and find out.

And eventually, someone did.

To be fair, the guy who pulled the gun on you didn’t know any better. As far as he was concerned, he was doing his job in making sure unauthorized civilians in the building were to be eradicated immediately. Especially those who claim to know anyone from Bonten without some sort of proof.

Because your relationship was hush-hush to most, if not all staff, it was no wonder homie didn’t believe you. But, it didn’t matter. As soon as Rindou found out the commotion going on in the lobby had to do with you, and some dumbass subordinate holding a gun to your head???

That walking mullet made that guy’s trigger finger into a necklace and forced him to wear it as a reminder.

kakucho ッ

A wild card, truly. He can’t afford to be anything but mr. calm and collected, especially in hostile situations. On one hand, he knows that getting worked up will do neither of you any good. And on the other hand…

When he got the video of you being held for ransom by some backstreet lowlife, gun pressed to your temple as you’re forced to read out their petty demands, Kakucho wanted to set the whole city on fire. His entire being vibrated, teeth clenched so hard you’d need a crowbar to unhinge it. Even Mikey eyed him sideways for a moment before reassuring him that you would be found, and that those amateurs would be handled. Kakucho growled lowly, dual-colored eyes piercing through the souls of every subordinate in the room.

“If she doesn’t make it out of this alive, none of you will.”

#🍁wasabi #tokyorev #tokyorev scenarios #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #mikey #mikey x reader #bonten #bonten x reader #sanzu #ran and rindou #kakucho

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midnightwriter21 · 11 months

Text

Open Wound ~ (Tanjiro x Reader Angst)

characters: fem!reader x tanjiro, tanjiro x kanao, zenitsu, shinobu (mentioned), aoi (mentioned)

warnings: angst, injury, unrequited love

AN: if u read this i'm gonna apologize in advance because this. is HEARTWRENCHING for me to read. and i'm the one that wrote it.

This is it.

The day that you are going to finally confess.

It all started with an open wound.

You have admired Tanjiro since the day you two met in the infirmary at the butterfly mansion. Both of you having just returned from missions, and sporting wounds severe enough to land an extended stay in your hospital beds. He insisted that Shinobu and Aoi tend to your injuries before they tended to his. From that day on, your relationship began and continued to progress. Creating a deep friendship first based off of swapping stories of past missions, your shared distaste for the taste and smell of the medication, and your rehabilitation training. Then, after being discharged from the infirmary, your wounds closed and healed, being sent on several missions together, meeting his strange friends, meeting his sister, and so on.

Somewhere along the way, the friendship you shared progressed into something more.

Friendly pats on the shoulder after a successful mission turned into launching yourself at him for a warm hug filled with relief.

Happy smiles and loud excited greetings turned into shy glances and a blushing face.

Wishing him good luck before he left for a mission turned into biting your nails and almost ripping your hair out because you're filled with worry.

The feelings you've developed for Tanjiro Kamado are so overwhelming that you might explode.

Which is why you are walking through the butterfly mansion in search of him. Coming across Zenitsu, you inquire about Tanjiro's whereabouts.

"He's in the garden right now but he's wit-"

You cut him off, "Thanks Zenitsu!"

And your feet are moving. When you get to the door leading to the garden, you stop. Nerves racking your very soul. You take a deep breath to calm yourself, before opening the door and stepping outside.

You see him.

You see him and you freeze. The blood in your body turns to ice. Your feet refuse to move. Your voice is stuck in your throat. You can't breathe, your lungs refuse to expand. You are suffocating.

Zenitsu bursts through the door behind you. The slam of the wood seemingly echoing throughout the yard.

"Y/N don't look!"

But it's seconds too late. The image is seared into your brain. You're sure that if you closed your eyes you'd still be able to see it.

Tanjiro and Kanao pull away from each other at the sound of Zenitsu's voice. Even from where you're standing, such a long distance away, you're able to notice the labored breathing and kiss swollen lips that they both sport.

When Tanjiro sees your frozen form, his eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to speak. To explain.

But before he gets the chance to utter even a syllable, you're gone. As you run from the scene, Zenitsu hears a sound not unlike the shatter of glass. And he can only assume that its your heart.

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