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#and also pass out and die perhaps
zeninsama-moved · 6 months
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if i see him… IF I SEE HIM…
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yanderenightmare · 3 months
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TW: nsfw, dubcon, coercion, bullying
fem reader
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Your bully says he’s always been curious about what it’s like to fuck a geeky good girl like you—and that he’ll leave you if you let him have a taste.
You knew he was probably mostly joking when he offered… but you were sick and tired and perhaps a little desperate for the chance of him finally leaving you alone—so you balled your fists within his shirt, dragged him inside an empty classroom, and told him he could do whatever he wanted.
You don’t know who was more surprised.
He never knew you to be so brazen—but it’s not like you’re some blushing virgin, either.
You have experience. However, most of that experience is with nicer guys… not someone like him…
It’s not like you expected him to go easy on you, but still…
You bruise against the desk he has you bent over on—dewy-faced and panting, lying cheek-down in your own drool as he fucks full-chested moans right out of you. He snickers when your thighs shake, whistling with a grin when feeling your tight cunt flutter around him—slick dripping to the floor in a little puddle.
“You’re so wet it’s embarrassing.” He laughs.
He’s got your arms tussled behind your back, using your shirt as bindings—having balled your skirt up around your waist in two tight fists, knuckles white while using it to keep you still as he pounds into you with a mean snap of his hips. 
Your heart drops when you hear a rip. A second time when, you feel his movements still, and a thick warmth starts to fill you.
“Ah—fuck—don’t squeeze so tight—I’m ‘bout to—” He grunts, but it’s already too late once he pulls out.
Panting heavily as his cock drips with the last drop—hunched over—his eyes fall to your glossy cunt, half-mast while staring at the way his cum slowly leaks out of the still-fluttering little hole. 
He feels a cute-aggressive urge to slap it but doesn’t want to get his hand all sticky.
He pulls his pants up instead, only bothering to button his shirt up halfway, tie hanging loosely around his neck. Anyone with eyes could guess what he’d been doing with his sweaty hair and that flushed look on his face.
And yet he starts leaving without a care or a word. 
Already halfway out the door before you get your wits back.
“No—wait!” You warble, unknotting your sleeves to wrap your shirt around you. “You can’t leave me like this—my skirt…” You hold the tattered piece up for him to see, showing him the tear he’d made, rendering it unwearable.
His hand is still on the doorknob, only bothering to acknowledge you with a jaded look over his shoulder. “How’s that my problem?”
Your brows cinch that pitiful way it always does. That cute way that has his gut bubble and fizz. “Please…” You plead, and it’s almost enough to make his cock perk up again. “Just bring me a skirt from lost and found… please?”
He sighs—the door at his back as he leans against it with arms folded upon his chest. “Tch—and what's in it for me?”
You nibble your lip in thought—but you already know the answer. 
“I’ll be better at it next time—just... please?”
“Hm…” He hums in thought, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips, tugged as if your words had pulled it with string. “Wait here, I’ll be back.”
The door closed with a click, and you were left in the classroom alone.
A few minutes passed. You doubted his return. 
You could always call a friend… but you didn’t want to get anyone into any trouble—calling them when they’re in class. Also, how would you even explain it to them? What type of person skips class to have sex in an empty classroom? Not to mention, they’d ask who you’d done it with—and there was just no way you could tell them. It’d be too embarrassing—you might just die—and if anyone else ever found out, he’d more likely kill you himself.
Well… suppose you could always make the run to Lost and Found yourself. The hallways should be mostly empty at this hour, but there’s really no guarantee. 
In the end, the thought of someone catching you in cum-soaked panties makes you hold onto all hope that your bully would return as he’d said.
And fifteen minutes later, he does. Black school skirt in one hand and strawberry milk in the other. Seemed he’d taken the time to stop at a vending machine.
But you don’t care. Breathing out a sigh of relief—gratitude on your lips as you leap over to him. “Thank you—” 
You eagerly accept the skirt—putting it on just as quickly.
He leans back against the door again, sipping his carton while watching you fall still with dismay. Humored at the pout that takes your lips as you look up at him with those pitiful doe-eyes.
“This is too short…”
He hides his smile with a tilt of his head. “Oh?” He grabs his jaw and pretends to assess your bottom half with focus. “Hmm… turn around, lemme see.”
You listen trustingly—as though you actually believe he cares. It almost makes him laugh out loud at how fucking gullible you are. But he keeps his act tight. Humming at the sight of the skirt only barely covering the crease of your cute ass.
“You’re right—something’s off.” He admits. 
You look back at him just in time to see his smirk before he grabs you. 
Keeping you still with an arm wrapped around your waist, he tips you over and grabs your panties—pulling them despite your body's protests as you wiggle in his hold. You cry as the fabric wedges up between your asscheeks, kicking your legs behind you until feeling it rip.
“There you go…” He coos while letting go of you, twirling the torn string in his hand. “Now it fits perfectly.”
He chuckles at the pretty tears clumped upon your lashes as you look at him with your lip tucked between your teeth until you finally get the grit to say what’s on the tip of your tongue.
“You’re an asshole.”
He sneers with a smile and bags your panties in his pocket—then turns around and opens the door. Leaving you worse off than before.
“Never said otherwise, buttercup.”
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BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Shigaraki, Hawks, Shinso, Kirishima
JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Toji
DS – Akaza, Sanemi
HQ – Kuro, Miya twins
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suntoru · 4 months
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─ ✰ 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒.
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— synopsis: 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, the popular guy in your class, chooses to sit next to you, of all people. you've fallen head over heels, what happens next?
— warnings: highschool au! angst, fluff in the beginning, will not be writing a part 2, swearing, gaslighting, betrayal, just a bet troupe, gojo being a dick or everybody generally, 3.4k words!
— a/n: not my proudest work to be honest :( also tried another formatting lmk if u liked it! comments and reblogs r very much appreciated i will love u forever
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"yo. can i sit here?" gojo satoru grins, effortlessly sliding into the empty seat next to you and making himself at home.
...huh? isn't that the popular guy who's usually surrounded by his friends? he's constantly the subject of admiration among the girls in your class, eliciting swoons and whispers of infatuation wherever he goes. confusion creeps in as you wonder why he didn't choose the empty seat next to suguru. there's no conceivable reason for someone like gojo, popular and charismatic, to opt for the seat beside you. you feel a sense of self-consciousness settling in.
nevertheless, you nod softly, though you're well aware the question was more of a rhetorical one. he's fashionably late, by twenty minutes, to be precise, unabashedly ignoring the scolding glares from your teacher about punctuality. instead, he buries himself in the deep blue plastic seat, sticking his tongue out when the teacher turns his back, letting out a huffy pout from the lecture.
nervously, you glance up from your notebook, cautiously stealing a peek at your new desk buddy. he's pretty─ real pretty, snowy white lashes adorning his pretty cerulean spheres, dainty fingers idly spinning a pencil out of sheer boredom. and as if kissed by the blush of a gentle sunrise, his lips possess a natural rosy hue, smooth and plump, belong to him like a delicate work of art. you wonder just how many kisses they've stolen. caught in a moment of admiration, you find yourself staring a tad longer than socially acceptable.
his eyes flicker, locking onto yours, and the realization hits you—oh, he caught you staring. shit. immediately, you break eye contact as you cough awkwardly. you swiftly attempt to play it off, pretending as if you were engrossed in examining the intricate texture of your silver-grey desk instead. your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you hope he hasn't interpreted your lingering gaze as anything more than idle curiosity.
...should you say something? try to deny you were very clearly eye fucking him? he probably thinks you're a freak now. perhaps he sat next to you out of pity, and now he regrets it. out of sheer embarrassment, the words die in your mouth before they could ever leave, keeping your gaze glued to the floor as you refuse to acknowledge that his presence ever existed.
however, it appears that gojo won't let you suffer the embarrassment in peace. when your stern teacher turns away, he subtly slides a ripped edge of his blue-lined paper towards you, bearing a simple 'hi :)'. he's attempting a conversation, a surprising but welcome distraction from the awkwardness of being caught staring. an opportunity to salvage a bit of your dignity. now, the challenge lies in crafting a response that strikes the right balance.
would 'hey' sound too dry? but 'heyyyy' makes it seem like you're a little too interested. you opt for a casual 'heyy' with your black pen, scribbling the reply with extra caution to avoid prying eyes. as soon as the teacher is out of view, you subtly slip the note back to gojo. his lips curl into a slight smile upon reading your response.
two minutes pass by before you get a response. 'do you get this lesson? i'm soo lost..' accompanied by a small doodle of a crying suguru. you can't help but stifle a giggle; the drawing is poorly done, yet undeniably cute. the teacher swiftly turns around at the sound, prompting both of you to scramble and make it look like you're diligently focused on the lesson. the suspicious gaze lingers for a moment before the teacher returns to the whiteboard.
'maybe it's cause you missed like, half of the lesson.' you write back. he rolls his eyes playfully upon reading your retort, swiftly countering with a pout. "it's not my fault this class is so boring.'
'who said philosophy was supposed to be fun?' you reply. in response, gojo eagerly accepts the note, maintaining the subtle exchange of eye contact. 'hey, be nice to mr. aristotle, he's a great guy :(' he sends back. and thirty minutes seem to pass in the blink of an eye.
the bell chimes, signaling the end of the philosophy session and the need to transition to your next course. reluctantly, you stow your textbook in your bag, feeling a twinge of sadness at the realization that this amusing interaction might have been a one-time occurrence.
it's been a while since you've genuinely laughed. so when his ocean blue eyes latch onto yours with a genuine sense of hope, you quickly fold when he asks you if you're interested in sitting with him again tomorrow.
in those thirty short minutes, you learn three things about gojo satoru. firstly, you realize you've sorely misjudged him. he's not just another nepo-baby cheating his way through school; he's actually quite smart, smarter than he lets on. he's especially good in biochemistry, and he promises to help you study next time.
secondly, you discover that he loves sweets, just as you do. you both agree that kikufuku mochi is better than strawberry dango, and he even tells you about his favorite shop. maybe you can go together sometime.
and thirdly, he doesn't tell you this outright, but you learn that gojo is insecure. what strikes you the most is the glimpse of uncertainty you catch beneath his confident exterior. it's not about his looks or intelligence, but it's actually about his relationship with suguru. he's afraid to lose him, a fear that seems to drive him more than anything else. he overcompensates for his self-doubt. but you find that his flaws make him all the more pretty.
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it's peculiar, the speed at which gojo somehow effortlessly integrates into your daily life. how he's feeling is how you're feeling, which is usually reflected on his friendship with suguru. if they had a fight, he'd be sad, and if everything was alright, he was too. but either way was okay with you, you just want to be there for him. what was once a dreaded fourth period now stands as the radiant highlight of your entire day.
despite the limited instances of verbal communication —perhaps a mere once or twice— the inexplicable truth remains: you've fallen head over heels for him. the simple act of passing notes with satoru becomes more than a routine; it evolves into the sole force that awakens you in the morning, the singular thought that propels you forward and keeps you going throughout the day.
and just maybe, the hopeless romantic within you fervently clings to the belief that his sentiments go beyond mere friendship. his actions seem to carry an extra layer of care, an attentiveness that extends beyond your platonic friendship. he notices the little things that escape the notice of others. it wasn't lost on him when you shed tears the other night due to the weight of stress; he went out of his way to procure your favorite candy bar, a sweet gesture aimed at brightening your spirits.
he took notice of your new haircut, expressing in a note that it frames your face nicely. he had comforted you when a classmate aimed a subtle insult your way, he wrote that the words of someone whose foundation didn't match their face shouldn't hold much weight. he even made an effort to be punctual for class, all to engage in the shared exchange of silly notes with you. and honestly, even if he didn't like you back, you'd be fine.
because your heart swells with gratefulness at the fact that he chose to sit with you. he wanted to be your friend even when nobody else did. you trusted and loved him with your whole heart, because that's what you believed he deserved.
so imagine your surprise when you overhear his conversation with suguru that day.
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"just a day more, then you win the bet." geto groans, tossing his head back in exasperation. the two of them linger in the now-empty classroom, the echoes of other students long gone.
"yep, twenty four hours, then you owe me three hundred dollars." satoru sings, playfully nudging his best friend's shoulder. he's all sunshine and smiles, swinging his feet from the desk he's currently sitting on.
"and it wasn't even that hard. i just had to get 'em to fall for me." suguru rolls his eyes. "dude, if i was you, i would've tapped out the first week. how'd you manage to do it?" he huffs, clearly annoyed at the impending financial loss.
satoru mischievously grins. "just used my charm." he fluffs his hair with a smug expression on his face. "can't believe it worked so fast, though. they must be real desperate for someone's attention. all it took was for you to fuckin' pretend like you cared." suguru grouches, being a sore loser. you don't hear the rest, the notebook you had lost long forgotten.
a lump forms in your throat, a sensation of dread creeping up on you. you desperately want to believe he's not talking about you, but you can't shake the realization that to him, you were nothing more than a pawn in a bet— a tool used for his amusement. you're overwhelmed by a sense of stupidity, a painful realization sinking in, drowning every rational thought.
he never cared. you could fall dead at this moment and he wouldn't even spare you a glance. you should've known. why would he? you feel stupid for allowing him entry into your life, stupid for naively believing in his sincerity, and stupid for daring to love a heartless jerk who played with the fragile strings of your heart.
they're right. you are pathetic. you just blindly fell for the first person who gave, or rather, pretended to give a shit. a relentless ache throbs in your chest as you stubbornly refuse to succumb to tears over a boy— a resolution crumbling like fragile glass. despite your stubborn determination, an uncontrollable torrent of hot tears streams down your face, distorting the world into a watery blur.
the desperate yearning for someone to choose you, to envelop you in unconditional and pure love, had fueled your hopes. and for a fleeting moment, you believed you'd found it, only to witness your heart being ruthlessly trampled blue. clutching onto the tattered shreds of your dignity, half-broken and bleeding, you muster the strength to leave swiftly before they catch a glimpse of you.
the bitter taste of betrayal lingers in the air, each teardrop is a testament to the shattering of dreams, the dead hope that once soared. the yearning for a love that stands unwavering proves to be a mirage, leaving you grappling with the shards of a love that was never truly yours.
that day, you learn one more thing about gojo satoru. he's just like everybody else.
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cerulean eyes, like pools of shimmering azure, flicker with concern as they scan the empty seat beside him. minutes stretch into eternity on the clock, each tick of the second hand amplifying the weight of his worry. nine twenty morphs into nine fifty pretty quickly, and he can't help but be a little annoyed. at this rate, you'll only get in twenty minutes of 'talking.'
you're always punctual—eight fifty-five on the dot. but today, the clock ticks on, and there's no sign of you anywhere. his brows furrow with concern, a nervous flutter dancing in his stomach. did something happen to you? the mere possibility sends a pang of anxiety through him, and he fidgets restlessly in his seat, unable to focus on the lesson before him.
yet, when his gaze shifts to meet suguru's, he swiftly masks his apprehension with an air of nonchalance, as if feigning indifference to your absence. but inwardly, his heart races as he anxiously awaits your arrival. when you finally walk in, he's already scribbling furiously on a piece of paper, filled with questions about what could have delayed you today. yet, as he extends his hand to pass you the note, his eager smile fades into confusion and disappointment.
you walk right past seat thirteen, your usual spot, without so much as a glance in his direction. instead, you approach a random girl and ask if you could sit with her. his heart sinks, a flush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks as a torrent of thoughts flood his mind. is something wrong? are you upset with him? he replays every interaction in his mind, searching for any misstep. but he can't find one. he's been careful to maintain the perfect facade when you're around. perhaps you simply forgot, he reasons with himself, attempting to quell the rising tide of hurt and confusion.
yes, that must be it.
...just a simple oversight.
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"hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!! just wait a moment!!" gojo's voice cuts through the chatter of students eager to leave as soon as the bell rings. he grabs your wrist, his touch gentle yet firm, halting your attempt to blend into the rush. his heart races in his chest, the sudden surge of adrenaline making his palms clammy.
"um... you didn't sit with me today." he mumbles, the words coming out in a rush, his voice tinged with uncertainty. his fingers toy with the ring around his finger, his gaze fixed on the ground as he struggles to find the right words to continue the conversation. he doesn't like the way you're looking at him. there's a flicker of irritation in your gaze, a departure from the usual warmth and affection that he's grown accustomed to. normally, when his eyes meet yours, your cheeks tint pink, your pupils dilate, and you give him the cutest starry-eyed look. but not today.
"yeah," you mutter casually, your eyebrow raising ever so slightly. there's a certain coldness in your eyes that sends a shiver down his spine. you're about to leave again, but he moves to block the door, a frown creasing his forehead.
"did i do something wrong? i don't understand why you're suddenly acting so bitchy," he huffs, irritation lacing his voice. the words tumble out before he can stop them, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "no," you reply simply, your tone devoid of any emotion, as if you genuinely don't care. it stings his ego, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
"you can 'use your charm' to make a new friend. since it's so easy for you, right?" you mutter, your voice trembling with suppressed anger. you promised yourself you'd hold it together, but the wound is still raw, etched deep into your mind as a flush of resentment rises within his eyes widen in shock, a pang of guilt stabbing at his heart. you heard that? no, no, no... he hadn't meant for you to be there. he had been so careful, or so he thought.
"i didn't mean it, i just-" he stutters, desperately searching for an excuse, but he knows it's futile. there's no chance you'd believe him now, would you? his heart sinks. he doesn't want you to hate him. "i was easy, right?" you laugh bitterly, each word dripping with sarcasm and pain.
"i hope that three hundred dollars was worth it. not that you even needed it, though. you think toying with people is fun? you're a dick, satoru, go to fucking hell." you hiss, your words laced with venom, cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "let me explain-" he protests, desperation evident in his voice as he tries to reason with you. but you're too angry to even consider it.
"explain? explain what?'" you explode, your voice rising with each syllable, oblivious to the judgmental glances of passersby. you scoff, tears threatening to spill over.
"i didn't mean it," he cuts you off, his own voice strained with emotion. "you're my friend, i just—" his voice cracks. "friends don't manipulate other people's feelings." you interrupt, your voice laced with venom as you spit out each word. you're aware you look like a mess, mascara staining your cheeks. "friends don't trick and hurt you on purpose!" you yell, tongue dripping with malice. "and here's the thing. you may be the greatest, satoru, but you will never, be enough. not for suguru, not for anybody."
you almost regret saying it. targetting his biggest insecurity. but then again, he deserves it. "how could you say that?" his voice is broken, quiet, as he mumbles it out as a whisper. the eyes that you once found so stunning suddenly look just like everybody else's. they well with tears, but are quickly blinked away. "you don't get to cry, satoru," you scoff, unzipping your bag and opening the front pouch.
you toss all the letters you've written in class, all the sticky notes, every single ripped paper, every little doodle, flipping your bag over and emptying it on the floor. every single heart fluttering moment you experienced seems so dead now. "you don't get to act like you cared. it's only fair, after all." you manage to muster, fighting to keep your voice stable. tears drip down your chin as your bottom lip trembles.
every step feels like a battle, a relentless tug-of-war between what your heart wants and what your mind knows is right. leaving him behind is like tearing off a piece of your own soul, but you convince yourself it's for the better— for your own sanity, for your own self-respect. each stride forward is heavy with the weight of goodbye, each breath drawn in a struggle against the ache in your chest. and as you finally turn away, a part of you dies inside, a piece of your spirit crumbling in the wake of shattered trust and broken dreams. you can feel his eyes on your retreating figure, the silent witness to your silent agony.
this time he doesn't try to stop you. and when you leave, gojo finally allows himself to cry.
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today, gojo finds himself seated next to suguru, reclaiming his former spot from before the bet. yet, everything feels different now. the idiotic jokes his friends make just aren't as funny anymore. their presence is irritating to him. he laughs, but the sound lacks the same genuine joy it once held with you. he smiles, but it's a mere shadow of the radiant expression he wore in your presence. his heart may feel a fleeting sense of happiness, but there will always be a hole where you once were.
his so-called 'buddies' don't even notice that he's at his lowest point, and he can't help but think about the way you would've noticed immediately.
how you would've sent him a cute note with his favourite candy attached, because you kept them in your bag just for him, for these kinds of days. he feels so numb. he's always been so confident, yet he can't even muster up the courage to pass by your desk.
and he can't help but wonder what might have been if he had chosen differently that day, if his intentions had been pure from the start. would you two have gotten somewhere? he supposes that now, he'll never know the answer. his eyes cloud over at that thought, slouching back down into his seat.
he never had the chance to tell you how sorry he was, how he would take it all back in an instant if he could. he didn't mean to hurt you. he was stupid and careless. and yet, he tries to convince himself that he'll be okay. that he'll be able to get over you one day. one day, when he's married and has two kids, he'll look back at this and laugh. so then why does his heart feel so heavy? you're not suguru, it's true. but suguru never made him feel this way. and he's confused with his own feelings.
he doesn't know what love is.
he's only sixteen.
perhaps he'll never know. but for him, love was sneaking kikifuku mochi into class for you to share. it was sending you cat memes at three am in the morning, only for you to groggily respond with your own. it was doodling you in his notebook in his spare time. it was how what you were feeling was how he was feeling too.
you were right, it seems.
gojo satoru, the greatest, yet not enough to make you stay.
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© KAEFFEINEE 2024. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.
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respondedinkind · 6 months
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Plotted starter for @mehrere-musen | MCU Verse
When Ka'anh awakes, the first thing he sees is a planet, filled with blue and greens and browns, clouds scattered along the surface. He also realizes that the whole of his shuttle seems to be offline; No lights are on besides the dull red hue of what indicates an emergency situation. He hurts, badly so, and groans out in pain as he tries to get back onto his feet, tries to---
The shuttle's pulled toward the planet, he realizes, just as he tries to reach a few buttons with his bloody fingers. He can't even stand, he just lies there, with his upper half resting against the seat, arm outstretched in an attempt to fix what could be broken. Ka'anh hisses, bares his teeth, grunts as another wave of pain pushes through him while he tries to stand again - but then the shuttle shakes; Gravitation has finally wrapped itself around his vessel in full, and now the descent upon the foreign planet is sped up with each second that passes.
This will become a hell of a ride, he knows. There's nothing he can do besides holding onto something, pushing himself against a nearby wall, away from anything that could fall down onto him as the shuttle proceeds to fly through the thick atmosphere. It's probably getting too hot as well, with all the shields being offline, unable to protect the shell from the rough treatment of the sudden friction it receives.
The fall itself sends a stomach tumbling and Ka'anh grits his teeth, squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that it will soon be over and that he will survive the impact thats about to come.
He doesn't want to die like this. Not after having managed to flee from his own planet, then getting sucked into what had looked like an opening within the Universe itself, just to be thrown down onto another world he's unfamilair with---
He's afraid, that's the last thing he feels before everything becomes dark and his senses vanish from existence, together with his consciousness.
...
When he awakes again, he's unsure if he's even alive, still.
He's lying on his stomach, outside of his shuttle, with his face buried in dry soil; With every intake of air he inhales some of it, which causes Ka'anh to cough and gasp for oxygen, so he does, almost dry-heaving from the pain it causes him.
He blinks, lifts his head somewhat and looks at a blurry picture in front of him - a mass of gray, perhaps it's his shuttle, parts of it burning and smoke rising into the air. He cannot see clearly, he doesn't hear much, and the pain he's in is excruciating. He's surely broken his right leg, his hip even, because he cannot feel it - his rattling breath tells him at least one broken rip has broken the tissue of his lung, and judged by how dizzy he feels, he must be suffering from what could be a rather serious brain-injury.
But, Ka'anh's alive. he's still here, even though he's just crashed down onto this foreign planet.
A grunt leaves him and he closes his eyes, then inhales as much as he can before he tries to push himself up onto all-fours. There's blood soaked into the dirt beneath him and one of his arms is definitely broken, next to the right leg that won't cooperate... but somehow he keeps himself in this all-fours-position, swallowing down the taste of copper and nausea he feels.
Fuck. Fuck - he needs to get to his shuttle, find the medkit in there---...
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the-travelling-witch · 2 months
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𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌-𝐔𝐏
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summary: when you forget to bring your jacket, an unlikely hero comes to your rescue; is there more to his chivalrous action than meets the eye?
pairing: kaiser x gn! reader
warnings: fluff, kaiser being kaiser; i’m still on hiatus but i have to free this idea from my mind or it won’t let me go, also i thought it was super fun when they spoke german in the manga so here we are
blue lock masterlist
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“Is it me or is it chillier than normal in here?” You asked, rubbing your palms over your goosebump-ridden arms. As an assistant manager, you’d been next to the pitch more often than you could count, but on this day it seemed like someone turned up the AC.
“Hm, dunno. Seems normal to me,” Kurona said after contemplating for a few seconds. “You’re not getting sick, are you?”
“I don’t feel like it, no,” you wondered aloud as you watched the Bastard München and FC Barcha players walk onto the court. As much as you’d hate to miss the beginning of the Neo Egoist League, perhaps you should make the track back to your room. “I think I’ll go grab my jacket—“
Your sentence was cut off by fabric covering your head, making you flinch in the sudden darkness.
“Hier, nimm meine. (Here, take mine.)” A voice that had quickly become familiar since the foreign teams were introduced passed by and when you lifted the front of the jacket, you found none other than Michael Kaiser in your field of view. As usual, he was looking rather smug for no reason whatsoever.
Still, he was one of the last people you’d expect to help you out, so the raise of your eyebrow was somewhat inevitable.
“Versteh mich nicht falsch, (Don’t get me wrong,)” he continued, cerulean eyes trained on you, “ich mach das nur, dass du von Anfang an zusehen kannst, wie ich Blue Lock vernichte. (I’m only doing this so you can watch from the beginning as I crush Blue Lock.)
“Und da ich sowieso nicht auf die Bank gehöre, macht’s mir nichts aus, wenn jemand meine Jacke aufwärmt. (Also, since I won't be benched anyway, I don’t mind having someone warm up my jacket for me.)” And with that, he sauntered off towards the centre of the field, the self-satisfied grin still tugging on his lips.
“He’s such a jackass,” Raichi scoffed, his jaw locked and a vein protruding from his neck. “Now I wanna play even more, just so I can teach him a lesson.”
“Now now, let’s not get hasty,” you chuckled, holding the Bastard München jacket in your hands. “As much as I understand where you’re coming from, I don’t think it’s a good idea to pick a fight with our guests on the first match day.”
The fact that you knew about the auction system and livestream you’d keep hidden for now.
“While I really don’t like the guy,” Kurona cut in before Raichi could add anything else, “I still think you should wear the jacket. It won’t do anyone any good if you really get sick. You can still go get yours after the match.”
“As much as I hate to admit it, I agree,” Isagi sighed next to him. “It is probably for the best.”
“Fine, fine,” you mumbled, sliding your arms through the comfortable sleeves of Kaiser’s jacket, bunching it up at your wrists so it wouldn’t cover your fingers.
And with that, the whistle signalled the start of the match.
To no one’s surprise, the match was shaping up to be a great one from the start, the quality and speed of the plays upped significantly with the inclusion of the top league players. Though, for some reason or another, you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from München’s number 10, the same number currently decorating your back.
You knew Kaiser was good, considering he was hailed as a prodigy for the New Generation World XI. And yet, seeing him play was a whole different experience from watching the tapes. From his superb ball control to his efficient movements and precise awareness of the field, all culminating in a lightning fast Kaiser Impact, he basically demanded your attention to be on him.
So when his gaze crossed yours after scoring a goal, you felt like you were getting caught red handed by the amused crease of his eyes. With the way heat shot up your body in embarrassment, you might not have needed his jacket anymore.
By the end of the match, your brain felt as tired as if you had played yourself, trying to keep up with the new level to which football at Blue Lock had been raised. Subsequently, you zoned out for most of Ego’s explanation of the auction system, only to zone back in as Kaiser’s 300 million Yen bid was displayed for everyone to see. And while you swallowed hard at that number, the striker in question seemed rather unfazed.
Instead, he sauntered over to where you were standing, still wearing his jacket. You were halfway out of the garment already when he came to a halt in front of you, his long fingers tangling in the fabric to keep it wrapped around your shoulders.
“Hast du nicht gesagt, dir ist kalt? (Didn’t you say you were cold?)” He asked, blue eyes sparkling down at you with an unreadable expression. “Behalt sie an. Zumindest bis du deine eigene holst. (Keep it on. At least until you get your own.)”
“What? No!” You protested, further trying to shrug off the jacket. Despite shoving it back down to where it came from, a small part of you agreed with him, not wanting to give it back quite yet. “You need it more than I do!”
“Hm? Es ist süß, dass du dich um mich sorgst, (It’s cute that you’re worried about me),” he teased, amusement written all over his face, “aber es ist wirklich unnötig. (but, really, it’s unnecessary.)”
“Absolutely not! If you get sick because of me, I’ll never hear the end of it,” you groaned, finally wrestling yourself out of his jacket and shoving it in his arms. “So just take the damn jacket, Kaiser.”
“Nenn mich einfach Michael, okay?) Just call me Michael, alright?)” One finger tilted up your chin, so you wouldn’t avoid meeting his gaze any longer. “Immerhin kennen wir uns gut genug, dass du dir meine Jacke leihst. (After all, we’re close enough for you to borrow my jacket.)”
“Whatever you’re trying to play here, cut it out!” Before he could have a chance to feel the heat rising to your cheeks, you whirled around to make a swift exit and get your thoughts in order again. 
In that moment, you were so distracted by the blond, you’d forgotten the whole world could see you wearing his name on your back. You’d later be reminded of it when seeing comments flooding social media, cooing about the gesture or speculating about your relationship with one another. But that was still far from your mind at present, which was still trying to figure out his reasons for behaving like he did.
Meanwhile Kaiser, who watched you retreat into Blue Lock’s hallways, couldn’t stop the smile from tugging at his lips. Perhaps someone here was worthy of devoting his time to after all.
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duckiemimi · 8 months
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gojo in jjk 236
i’m not one to advocate for prying away creative control from a creator’s (mangaka’s) cramped, overworked hands, and i understand that with oftentimes fandoms get so big that the story warps itself into something out of the creator’s control, but i do know what a good character arc looks like (i’ve seen it in this very story before) and i do know what public pressure can do to a creative mind.
that being said, keeping gojo dormant for more than a hundred chapters, then unsealing him only for him to gain nothing from his long-drawn out fight with sukuna is insane. i was assuming we were building up stakes in his character arc! i didn’t think he’d die prematurely without resolution! how could he be given a meaningless death when it was all he and geto talked about at one point?
gojo could’ve been living proof that change is possible and that fate is breakable. he was born after multiple cycles of six eyes and limitless users, he was born a baby-shaped building block, jujutsu’s atlas with the world on his shoulders. alone and untouchable. but he changed because he met geto. he changed because he met shoko, because he met megumi and yuuta and yuuji and every single character that has loved and cared about him. love changed him. to be loved is to be changed, and to have him go without an ending line to, “this is just a personal theory, but love is the most twisted curse of them all,” is such a loss. it’s like a sentence without a full-stop, abruptly cut short with no continuation.
i initially thought that he’d be weakened by sukuna, but then his allies would come running to back him up—there is strength in solidarity! his true strength should’ve stemmed from solidarity and love! interdependence and connection should’ve been the peak of his character arc! why did we end up with nothing even after tens of chapters of him fighting for his life? why did every other character sit still instead of using their advantage in numbers?
but i do see where gege is headed. with gojo gone, the baton has been passed onto the next generation. there is no longer a biological “hierarchy” of power amongst the sorcerers (to an extent), and perhaps sukuna himself will falter because the balance of the universe was pulled from under their feet. besides love, jjk is also about generational second chances: sashisu and itakugifushi; toji and maki; geto and yuuji and yuuta; geto walking to tengen’s quarters alone, delivering riko almost hesitantly, and yuuji waking to tengen’s quarters with megumi, yuuta, choso, and yuki. silhouettes in the dark of the tunnels. hell, you could even count yaga as a teacher and gojo as a teacher. or yaga’s CT and how he gave a child another chance at life. yuuji’s multiple resurrections. kenjaku and tengen. i get it, i do—i understand what gege’s trying to do here, but i’m tired of him using these characters as plot devices instead of giving them the resolution they deserve. (especially for jjk’s cash cow…he deserved more than a rushed end.)
i do hope that that one theory about gojo only being able to die if his head is cut off is true. but even then, after all of the fake outs we’ve had to read, that would be a shitty cheap shot. i’ll try to have faith; even that is wavering.
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eightstarr · 9 months
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baby — abby anderson.
summary: you're on patrol with abby and you make her squirt for the first time. you don't mean to make a habit out of distracting her, but in your defense, it's hard to focus on anything else when she looks so pretty all serious and focused on keeping you safe! and you are only so strong!
notes: i don't ever really write smut and it for sure shows but anyway here it is! what no one asked for! yet again! also excuse the surprising amount of feelings that are in this considering it's technically supposed to be porn? it wouldn't be me if someone didn't say i love you at least once tho
୨・┈﹕✦﹕﹕✦﹕┈・୧
"Do you have a danger kink or something?" Abby asks, trying to sound cool, but her breathing's a little too staggered for that. You've got her backed up against a counter in a random kitchen of a lonesome, old house.
You smooth your tongue over her pulse and feel her shudder, your hands sneaking under her loose shirt to cup her waist, fingers squeezing adoringly. "Can't I have some fun with my girl?"
"Yeah, but—" Abby cuts herself off with a moan that's almost embarrassing considering how little you're touching her. "You did this last time, too. It's like you want to get caught."
"Caught by who?" You scoff, lifting your head to look at her, nodding once as a silent way to say up. She abides without thinking, her palms against the counter as she pushes herself up to sit on top of it. You're needy enough that you don't bother teasing, no 'good girl', no 'what would your soldiers think if they saw you be so obedient?'. You slot yourself between her thighs and continue your assault on her neck, fingers brushing over chest. "There's no one here, baby."
Baby is perhaps your biggest tell. You call her baby when she's been away for too long, when you've had a long day and show up at her door unannounced, in the morning when you've woken up from a dream that left you aching that you refuse to share the details of no matter how much she asks. 'Baby' means you're desperate. And 'baby' makes Abby pull you closer, because nothing makes her need you more than you being desperate for her.
She lifts herself up enough to let you pull her cargo pants and boxers off in one motion, and her heart skips a beat as you sink to your knees, guiding her legs over your shoulders. She used to fret about that, fret about a lot of things— but the admittedly ridiculous thought of accidentally squeezing you to death was up there. You'd made the stupid joke, as anyone would, at least I'd die happy. But when that didn't quite work besides earning a roll of her eyes and a slight smirk to her lips, you'd simply gotten back to work on making her cum on your mouth until she had no choice but to close her legs around you. And when she did, the movement mindless and needy, you groaned and left loving fingerprints on her thighs enough to reassure her that you liked it. Loved it. You loved a lot of things that Abby used to be insecure about.
The point is, she shouldn't be shocked to see you get down on your knees. It's not an entirely unfamiliar sight anymore, you've made sure of that. But even on the first time you fucked, with all the eagerness and want and sense of overdue of your affections, Abby doesn't think she saw you quite this ravenous.
It's like you're drunk on it, like you didn't have her in a way not too different from this just a mere two days ago. You eat her like you're fucking starving. Not pulling away to breathe, your nose brushing against her clit just right, moaning every time she bucks her hips or pulls your hair.
When Abby cums, she feels it in her chest. It sinks on top of her, a lovely heaviness, and then drops off of her all together and leaves her weightless. When you don't stop, she breathes out a chuckle that turns into a broken moan and buries her fingers back in your hair, half expecting you to pull away still. But time passes, drags on and speeds away much too fast all at once, and you don't.
She's saying your name, she thinks, or a sound as close to it as her mind will allow her to formulate. Abby knows she's loud by the way her noises are echoing through the empty room, mocking her. Before she can feel embarrassed by it, as if you can read her mind as easily as anything else, you drag your mouth down and fuck into her with your tongue in a way that she didn't know could feel so good before she met you. As quickly as it came, the shame is gone. Her lips part and her sounds grow louder still, spilling out of her carelessly. You want to reward her, you think somewhere in the back of your mind, want her to know how much you love it. It's a privilege to make Abby Anderson a mess, and it always makes you lightheaded with need.
You wrap your mouth around her clit and suck, and Abby lets go of your head for once to grab onto the counter and make a lame attempt to keep herself still, her knuckles white.
The pressure building in her low abdomen is familiar, but then your hand comes to lay flat against the exact spot and something about the weight of it makes the feeling twist into something different.
Abby gasps quick breaths, her eyebrows furrowed in vague confusion and enough pleasure to drown it out and soothe the meaningless pain of bumping her head back against the wall.
"I'm gonna cum," she warns, barely legible. And it's fine, she thinks, it's just like every other time. But then she feels it start to unravel, finally, and it's the same but also not at all. "Fuck, wait, I think— fuck!" she's panting, shaking and forcing her gaze to refocus just to watch the way your eyes fall closed, the way your eyebrows furrow. You moan against her and the sound is loud even while suffocated, even though you've somehow managed to push your face closer to her, press your tongue deeper. Abby feels it gush out of her and it's nothing like anything she's felt before, so good and so much and she doesn't want it to ever end, even as she blabbers, "Oh my God. Oh my fucking God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
You don't seem to hear her, hungrier than she's ever seen you— you look fucking possessed. You pull back and the sight of you is dizzying, embarrassing, and it's the only thing Abby wants to look at for the rest of her life. Your lips are glistening, yes, but so is your chin, your cheeks, her cum dripping down your neck. Your eyes are dark, more pupils than anything else, and they swallow her whole. You haven't pulled back too far, your breath still hot against her, but it's enough that you can replace your mouth with your fingers and rub on her clit. What's left in her comes out in soft spurtz, dripping onto the floor, and you couldn't tear your eyes away if you tried.
But Abby doesn't know that, doesn't know what you're thinking at all. You're surprised, but is it in a bad way? It must be. Are you disgusted? You're so covered in her that it feels like you'll never be able to wash it off, and Abby can't read your mind like you do hers, so she doesn't know that the thought thrills you, that your heart is fucking pounding in your chest, that your underwear is utterly and completely fucking ruined. You lick your lips and swipe your chin with the back of your hand, absentminded. Abby's thinking, begging, say something.
"Holy fuck," is all you can manage, a quiet mutter, breathless. Your fingers haven't stopped rubbing, but a whine and an especially forceful quiver of her legs makes you blink and you stop like you've just come out of a trance, your hand moving instantly to soothe up and down her thigh.
"I'm sorry," Abby repeats, and then you look at her face like you've just remembered it's there.
Look up at her like she's fucking crazy, like she's grown a second head, mumbling, "What?"
"I didn't— I tried to warn you," she says, even though she doesn't know that she could've. It felt so foreign, she wouldn't have known how to explain it, really.
You lower her trembling thighs from your shoulders carefully, not before pressing a kiss against each one, and then you stand up. Abby wonders if this is where you'll tell her you didn't like that, where you'll help her put her clothes back on and then you'll promise each other to never speak of it again. Instead, your eyes grow impossibly gentle, impossibly loving, and you tuck yourself closer between her legs. The hem of your jeans brushes against her core and she gasps, but doesn't move away. "Baby," you call softly, pecking her lips. "Has this never happened to you before?"
Abby feels a little like she's suffocating, the breeze coming in through the window you'd opened when you first came in not enough to soothe her anymore. But you brush your knuckles over the faint scar on her cheekbone and her shoulders grow limp, her body relaxing except for where she's shaking— fuck, she is still fucking shaking. She remembers your question and shakes her head.
You don't show her how embarrassingly proud that makes you, that you made that happen before anyone else did, because it's not the time. You tuck the feeling in your pocket for later and hum, barely resisting the urge to kiss her, to get back on your knees until they're bruised and make her cum in whatever form she'll give you all over again. "Did it feel good?" You ask, not mocking, but curious.
If she wasn't so embarrassed, Abby would've laughed. It is very possible, and the thought does nothing to ease her shame, that nothing has ever felt so good. But admitting that feels like too much, so instead she whispers, "Yeah."
You smile, happy, genuinely relieved. "Then what are you saying sorry for?" You ask, kissing her again before you can help it. "That's my fucking job. I want you to feel good."
The words alleviate like water to a small fire, and Abby feels silly for having forgotten that it's you who she's with. She's had the thought before, but it suddenly becomes more present than ever, practically breathing down her neck— that she wants to keep you forever. Keep is maybe a bad word for it. She wants to be around you forever, for as long as you'll let her, wants to move into your shitty apartment and make you breakfast and sleep every night in your cropped shirts that fit slightly too tight and make her look ridiculous. She ought to say she loves you more often, she thinks. You say it nearly every time you see her now, like the words have been bubbling inside you for too long and now they can't be kept away. It's a fairly fresh relationship, but the feelings are ancient for both of you, and it shows.
"I love you," Abby sighs, and presses her lips against yours before you can say it back. It's sloppy, she's barely starting to come down from her high, but you don't complain. You kiss her with vigor, like you're trying to spell it out with your tongue, I love you. When you pull apart, her eyes fall from your eyes to your chest and she winces, eyes squeezing shut as her forehead falls on your shoulder.
"What?" You ask, a hand coming to cradle the back of her head immediately, without thought.
"Your shirt," she mumbles against you. You glance down and let out a soft oh. The white fabric of your tank top is soaked, mostly near the neckline, sticking to your skin. You hadn't noticed. Abby lifts her head to look at you, freckled face flushed red, so pretty that you forget about the mess she made of you all over again. "You have to change. We can't go back with you looking like that," she says— or begs, more like.
"I didn't bring anything else with me," you tell her, humming appreciatively as you look back down at your chest, grinning. "Besides, this is my favorite shirt now."
Abby groans, the kind of whiney, timid sound that you could've never imagined her making before you become her girlfriend. The kind of sound that makes you weak in the fucking knees, needy and cotton-mouthed. "It's not funny," she hides her face in her hands and huffs, "'S embarrassing."
You're chuckling, but biting into your lip to stifle it when she lowers her head further down, chin against her chest. With careful touch, you wrap your fingers around her wrists and guide her hands away from her face, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Her skin is hot beneath your lips, and you hum at the feeling of it. She's usually so cold, your Abby, freezing fingers sneaking under your shirt at night and making you shudder. It's a pleasure to make her warm, an honor to see her shy. You love her so much it tugs at you, a constant reminder.
"You're a dream, Abby. Fucking perfect," you say, as clearly as you can while dragging your lips down her neck. She's the hottest thing you've ever laid eyes on, so beautiful that sometimes you can't sleep, too excited that she's there next to you to ever close your eyes. And you need her to know, but you're not really one with words, so all that comes out is, "Nearly made me cum in my fucking pants, you know that?"
Abby moans. Her breath gets caught in her throat as you suck marks into her neck and she finds that she couldn't care less right now, about the evidence that'll be left on her skin or your stupid wet shirt. She guides your face up with a hand on the back of your neck, and kisses her flavor off your lips until she can't anymore, until her lungs burn and her lips tingle. Your voice echoes in her head. Nearly made me cum in my fucking pants. Nearly, she thinks. That doesn't sound very fair.
Thick fingers make quick work of your zipper, trailing over your lower tummy and sneaking under your underwear. She's a little fast, but you've never minded. Sometimes she'll notice and force herself to slow down, to savor, but most of the time her mind doesn't let her catch up to it. Like now. She can't worry about looking clumsy or overly-enthusiastic, because she just needs to feel you. Because she wants to check that you weren't lying, that she could've made you cum without ever touching you— and it's there, the overwhelming fucking truth of it soaking her hand. You gasp at the contact, and Abby's thighs squeeze you in place, as if you'd ever leave. "Jesus Christ," she pants. She finds herself saying it a lot lately. Jesus Christ. Oh my fucking God. Calling upon figures she doesn't believe in, delusional enough to think for a second that they'll bring some kind of comfort, release her of her sins.
You're so wet that it doesn't take more than a minute for her confidence to slowly grow back, so wet that it doesn't take more than two to make you cum. It's the fastest she's ever seen you fall apart, and it wouldn't be Abby if her immediate thought (right after that was so fucking hot) wasn't bet I can make it quicker. Her ego fizzles in her chest, warm and euphoric. Abby thinks she doesn't remember the last time she felt as proud about something as she does every time she makes you feel good. Isaac's occasional pat on her shoulder and mutter of 'good job' is laughable in comparison, as is the high of working herself till she's covered head to toe in sweat at the gym, as is everything else.
It might be the honeymoon phase the movies talk about. You slowly catch your breath and raise your head from her shoulder to look at her with the same adoration as you did when she kissed you for the first time, and Abby has a hard time believing that the feeling will ever go away. Movies get a lot of things wrong, anyway.
She's walking slower than usual on your way back home, her steps sluggish, and you're sweet enough to only make fun of her for it a little bit. One comment here and there, earning a scoff when you lean closer and offer to carry her bride style, a badly stifled laugh when you hum thoughtfully and wonder out loud about what Owen must be doing right now.
Her fingers are interlaced with yours and normally she would've let go by now, a little sheepish to show that much vulnerability in front of the people who are supposed to respect her, but the thought doesn't even cross her mind. You crack another stupid joke and she giggles like she did when she was a kid, silly and sweet, tugging your hand to her lips to kiss the back of it.
Manny looks you up and down as soon as you cross the gates, dark eyebrows raised. "The fuck happened to you?" He asks. You look at him with a confused frown and wait for him to clarify, "You're wet."
Abby's stiff as a board where she stands next to you, her quick blinking the only evidence that she hasn't actually been frozen in place by some kind of magic spell.
You're much more casual. "It's fucking hot. I poured some water on myself to cool off."
Manny hums. He's seen you do it before, maybe that's why he doesn't question it. He does note, though, the suspicious way in which Abby walks silently and swiftly past him with her eyes pointedly on the floor. Her hand is tight around yours still, and you follow because— well, of course you do.
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mochinomnoms · 5 months
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Hello I saw your event and got interested! I was wondering if you could do #24 with Idia (romantic, fluff, and suggestive if possible) with fem!reader?
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idia shroud x f!reader [tags] – romantic, fluff, suggestive [wc} – 3, 241 prompt 24: “I'm so happy that you confessed first.” “Why?” “If I had to dig out another hydrangea petal from my teeth, I was gonna lose it.” notes - the only way to write idia is kind pathetic like a wet cat. i love pathetic men a floral inconvenience
According to legend, a Japanese emperor gave blue hydrangeas to the girl he loved, to apologize for neglecting her and to show how much he really cared for her. Their petal shape resembles a beating heart. 
Idia thinks that he was cursed in a past life for doing something awful. Maybe he kidnapped someone’s kid and tried to kill them. Maybe he tried to overthrow the gods and take over himself, but failed miserably. Or maybe, worst of all: broke someone’s limited-edition, vintage Tokyo Mew Mew Ichigo figurine. 
He sure as the underworld that he did something, why else would he be puking up hanahaki flowers like some cringey Canon x Reader fanfic? 
“Big Bro! You really should go to the school infirmary, the petals and stems can cause irritation and damage to the trachea and nasopharynx if not treated properly!”
Ortho was currently hovering over him, fretting like a mother hen over her chick. How ironic, Idia thought as he picked at the petals still in his teeth, it was for the little brother to be caring for the elder. 
“Why do that when I can just have the school delivery bots bring me medicine. Then I won’t have to interact with anyone, I’d literally DIE if anyone saw me like this…”
Especially if the Prefect saw him. The image of her sweet face, and beaming smile…like a scene from a shoujo manga, flooded his mind. He could practically hear her voice, full of concern, asking, “Are you okay, Idia?”
Idia fell into a sneezing fit, petals flying from his mouth and nose as his sneezes continued, one after the other, until he was also thrown into a hoarse, wet-sounding cough. 
“Big Bro! That’s it, you’re going to the nurse!” Ortho, despite being quite small, grabbed Idia by the back of his striped pajama shirt, much like one grabs a wet cat by the scruff of its neck. 
“UUuuuuuuuuuughghuguguguhidonwannaaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHh!” Idia cried out in a whiney, high-pitched tone. 
His brother, perhaps taking pity on his brother, took the shortcut to the infirmary, cutting directly pass the buildings and fields as Idia’s arms and legs loosely flew like cooked spaghetti noodles. Flying through the window that Nurse Goethel often kept open for fresh air, Ortho plopped Idia into a spare bed, who collapsed like a ragdoll into the thin mattress. 
“I’ll go check you in with the Nurse, I’ll be right back, please make yourself comfortable Idia!”
Idia gave a muffled grumble as a response, shoving his face further into the hard surface of the bed with a sense of dread. He could hear Ortho speak with Goethel at her desk. 
Well, he thought, at least she won’t see me looking all gross and lovesick like some normie—
“Idia, oh my god, are you sick?” 
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”
A shrill, ear-splitting shriek left his mouth as the flames of his hair blew up into a blazing hot pink. Idia bolted him, a sharp pain hitting the top of his head as he heard you yelp. As he rubbed the pained spot, Idia noticed that you too were rubbing your chin. Oh Sevens, he hit your chin with his big, stupid head. 
“Ooowwwww, damn Idia, you hit hard…” you hissed, though you gave him a sweet smile in reassurance. 
“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have scared you…though why are you covered in flowers?”
Idia froze, debating on whether or not he should open his mouth and potentially say something damning, or just stay quiet and hope you’d just get weirded out and leave. 
“Because he’s an idiot who didn’t come to immediately see me at the first petal cough!” 
The nurse came up to Idia with a disapproving glare, handing you a clipboard and pen before slipping on a clean pair of gloves. 
“Prefect, please check the boxes for every symptom I find. I believe I know what it is, but we need to check all our bases.” 
Idia peeked at you from the corner of his eye as you smiled at him, waving your fingers as the nurse whispered a spell to turn her magic pen into a makeshift flashlight. 
“Now, open up and say ‘ah’ so I can see what those flowers are doing to you.” 
Following her instructions, Idia tried his best to be a cooperative and willing patient, if just to get out of here faster. Unfortunately, your presence only seemed to make it harder to do so, as hydrangea flowers bloomed from the pores of his skin, focusing particularly around his hands and neck. 
The nurse, he’s sure, could also see the magic sparkles forming as a new bouquet formed through his throat and shot up his mouth. She tsked, leaning back to allow Idia to hack out the now decent sized hydrangea bouquet. They were a vibrant blue, much like his hair. 
“Ah, go, go on and let it out.” The nurse waved a hand at Ortho. “Dear, please fetch your brother a cup of the tea I have brewing at my desk. Prefect? Please note that the patient has no evidence of root growth in his throat.”
“Root growth!? Is my brother going to be okay?” Ortho worriedly rushed over, the tea spilling over the rim of the foam cup. “Is it a curse or disease? Is my brother growing a plant in his lungs!?”
“Ortho, you scanned me earlier this week, remember?” Idia hoarsely replied, taking the tea to gingerly sip at it. “Nothing in ‘em, or my stomach ‘cept ramen noods.”
“A WEEK?!” The three of you flinched at the shrill gasp of Goethel, who was glaring daggers at Idia. “Mr. Shroud, you’ve been sick with an unknown flora disease and you didn’t even bother to let the staff know? What if you were contagious!!”
Idia shrank into himself as he whispered, “It’s not like I leave my room…” 
“Bateria or the pollen could’ve gotten into the air vents and infected the rest of your dorm, ugh.” The nurse sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before addressing you. “Miss Y/N, if you mark down the lack of root growth, fever, and magical origin of the flowers, what do you get?”
He watched as you flipped through the clipboard, smile slightly faltering as you read one of the papers. You cleared your face briefly, before smiling politely back at the nurse and Idia.
“Based on everything, it seems that Idia most likely has the flower sickness, also known as the love sickness, petal fever, or, most commonly, hanahaki.”
Idia cringed at the cold, monotone sound of your voice. Now he’d done it. You knew, somehow you knew that he had the biggest, fattest, most twitterpated-full crush on you. No, crush was understated. He had dreams of you, the cringiest, domestic fantasy-based shit where he’d imagine you, waking up in bed with him back at the Island of Woe. You had given him a sleepy smile as you curled into side, naked. With a smile and a kiss to his lips, dream you turned over to hover over him, trailing small kisses and love bites down his body, further and further as you whispered to him, over and over, “I love you, Idia—”
A queasy, dizzying feeling fell over Idia as a particularly painful croup caused him to double over and vomit last night's dinner alongside blue, heart-shaped petals. 
“Idia!”
“Big Brother!”
“Shroud—Prefect, hold his hair back! Ortho, grab the trashcan, I’ll go get some cleaning supplies and new sheets.”
Nurse Goethel barked orders to the other two, who quickly jumped into action. Idia could feel a shiver as he felt your hands softly grasp his flaming hair, fingers grazing his cheek as you tucked his bangs behind his ears. He could barely make out your coos, no doubt comforting him. You must be disgusted seeing him like this, having to care for a sopping wet cat of a man. Ortho was holding the trash can, right on time for Idia to hurl some more flowers and stomach acid. 
“Oh, Idia…you poor thing.” You whispered into his ear, unintentionally causing his body to warm up and a chill go down his spine to settle in his abdomen. He was very aware that if he turned his head to look at you, he’d get a faceful of your chest like some harem isekai protag, the thought making him warm further and his tips pink again. 
“I didn’t realize you were feeling this bad, Idia…” Ortho murmured, guilt in his voice. “I should’ve brought you sooner…”
“N-no…” Idia gravelly replied, wiping his mouth clean. “It’s not your fault Ortho, don’t beat yourself over it.”
Ortho still looked guilty, but nodded in affirmation, glancing at briefly at the Prefect. His gaze flitted between the two, and Idia could briefly see Ortho’s eyes go blank, as they did when searching through his knowledge database.
“Miss Prefect!” Ortho chirped, voice now perky much to Idia’s concern. “May I ask for a spare infirmary shirt for my brother? He must be very uncomfortable in his soiled one!”
Idia was now firmly and acutely aware of your hands still on him, thumb rubbing soothingly into his temple. 
“Oh, of course Ortho.” You moved away, hands hovering for just a moment, as you replied, “They’re in the storage, I’ll be right back!”
Idia watched as you walked away into the infirmary storage. Ortho did as well, waiting until you were out of earshot to excitedly whisper, “Idia! I know it’ll be an easy fix!”
“Huh?” Idia rose an eyebrow at his brother, confusion setting in.
“It’s a love sickness, and you love the Prefect—Idia stop looking at me like that—so if you confess to them, the flowers will go away!”
Idia was still giving Ortho a horrified look, as he continued. 
“Based on the timing of your reactions in correlation with close proximity within the Prefect, along with your increased heart rate at their touch, speech, and glances, and the fact that the Prefect stated on December 15th at 11:18:53 pm that she likes hydrangeas, she is the cause of the sickness. Right?”
“Ortho!’ Idia hissed, grabbing at his brother to shut him up despite Ortho not technically having a mouth. 
“Quiet down, this isn’t some otome game where I can cheat and look online for the right responses. Did you see how she reacted earlier when she found out it was hanahaki, how disappointed she looked? There’s no way Y/N—I mean the Prefect, didn’t connect the dots. 
“But, Big Brother!” Ortho whined, “Based on her heart rate and increased body temperature—”
“No is no, Ortho! It’s not going to be such an easy fix, I’ll just get rejected!”
“Technically speaking—” Idia and Ortho both jumped at the nurse’s voice, who was coming back from storage with clean linens. The Prefect followed with a new shirt.
“—you don’t need your beloved to accept your feelings, just confess them. Though it’s quite rare that it’s not reciprocated.”
The nurse motioned for Idia to get up as the Prefect handed him the shirt. She began taking the sheets off as the nurse addressed the two brothers. 
“Mr. Shroud, if you are insisting on keeping this sickness intact for fear of rejection, then I will have to ask Professor Crewel for some more potent ingredients for your prescription. Little Shroud?”
“Oh, yes Nurse Goethel?” 
“I could use your assistance, please come with me, Miss Y/N will tend to your brother,” She had a smug tone and smirk as she said this, motioning for Ortho to follow. “Mr. Shroud, please have no worry, she makes an excellent student nurse!” 
Idia let out a defeated, low, whiney groan as he moped over behind one of the privacy screens. You remained quiet as you collected the dirty sheets. He could hear Goethel’s footsteps and Ortho’s fans fade away as they left further and further down the hall. Idia yanked his shirt off, slipping the clean one over his head, noting it was a tad bit too small. He grumbled in annoyance as he pulled the shirt down to cover his stomach. 
“Idia?”
“Eeep!” Idia yelped, your voice coming from right behind the screen. “Y-yes?”
“Are you done changing? I can take your shirt to the hamper.”
He hummed in response, peeking his hand from behind the screen with the shirt in hand. As you took the shirt and walked away, Idia slowly moved to look at you. Once he was sure your eyes were firmly ahead (and briefly taking a look at your ass), he launched himself back into bed, the smell of clean linen filling his nose. 
Idia sighed, a faux exhaustion settling into his bones as he sunk into the bed. He tensed as he felt you sit on the edge to this right. 
“Idia?” you hummed as he closed his eyes to focus on the darkness behind them, instead of you worried expression. 
He hummed in response. 
“Nurse Goethel said that the remedy is actually quick and easy, right?”
He hummed again.  
“You’ll just keep coughing hydrangeas until you do something, right?”
“...Yea.” Idia replied in a monotone voice. 
You sighed, a bit in frustration he thinks. “So?”
“...So?”
“Why don’t you?” You stretched out the last vowel with a questioning sound.
“Why don’t I?” Idia mimicked you. 
"Why don't you just confess?"
“Wha?” He yelped, looking at you like you’d grown heads like a hydra. “W-what do y-you mean, confess!? Are you crazy?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed, “It would help, wouldn’t it? And Nurse Goethel said it’s rare for it to not be reciprocated, so what do you have to lose?”
“First of all, what’s left of my dignity. Second, I’m not some ML in a romance manhwa. And, third!” Idia straightened up to look you in the eyes, a burst of confidence filling his veins in pure frustration and annoyance. “There’s no way that anyone would be interested in some loser like me, so what’s the point—”
“But I like you!”
Silence fell between you two as the realization of your words settled into both your minds. You, with a growing blush and look of embarrassment, and Idia gaping at you like a fish out of water.”
“Huh.”
“I said,” You murmured, twiddling with the ends of your hair. “That I like you. A lot. I think you’re really fun to be around, you’re even though you're shy and kinda geeky, you’re really passionate about the stuff you like. Idia.”
Your hand reached for his, hesitantly like you were afraid you’d burn him. As you laced your fingers together, Idia felt a lump form in his throat. He kept silent though, watching as you smiled shyly. 
“You’re sweet to your brother, and I notice, to me sometimes too. Did you think I wouldn’t notice you coming out to class more often so we could hang? I missed you this week…it was really lonely without you, even with all my friends.”
Still holding his hand, you leaned in closer to his face, looking at him earnestly. Was this real? Did he unlock a secret route with you without noticing? Why did you keep looking at his lips? OMG WAS THIS REAL—
“Idia,” You snapped him out of his thoughts as the distance between you two kept closing. “If the person you like doesn’t return your feelings, then they didn’t deserve you in the first place. I’ll be there to support you, even if you don’t like me the same way, I’ll always care for you as your friend—”
“But it is you.” Idia blurted out. Whether it was due to a mysterious burst of energy or just a slip of the tongue, he didn’t know. 
“W-what! Idia, you don’t have to try and make me feel—” you tried to stutter an excuse, cheeks pink like the fiery tips of his hair. 
“It’s you! I got this cause of you, cause I knew—I thought,” Idia started to ramble, getting up to grab you by the shoulders and shake. “I thought that you couldn’t like some weirdo like me. Are you telling me I could’ve snatched an SSR level kiss scene with you at any time??!!”
It was your turn to be shocked, a bewildered look in your eyes and Idia rapidly spoke, taking little breaths between sentences.
“Do you know what you do to me?? The thoughts, the dreams I have about you? I see you and get all hot and bothered and you’re telling me that I didn’t have to be some maidenless normie this entire time? I could’ve been lockin’ lips and getting my dick we—”
A sharp shriek leaving Idia’s mouth was muffled as you shoved your lips into his, effectively shutting up his rant. He whimpered as you swiped your tongue along his lips, deepening the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Idia, perhaps in the throes of passion, or not wanting to miss out on this once in a lifetime pull, reciprocated, albeit with a nervous hesitation. 
You seemed to approve, pressing your chest against his as your mouth moved against his, tongues dancing and moans being shared between half taken breaths. His hands hovered over you until you let go of his neck to guide his hands and place them over your hips. An arousing moan left your lips as your hands gently pushed his chest. 
Idia’s world slightly shifted as he fell back first into the bed, your hair creating a curtain as you separated from him. A line of shiny spit followed you, breaking as he gasped for breath while you leaned back down to press kisses against his neck, flowering the disappearing hydrangeas. 
He yelped as your teeth scraped a particularly sensitive spot, opening his mouth to blurt out, “I'm so happy that you confessed first.” 
You let out a breathless giggle, turning your head and resting your chin on his neck to look up at him with, he swears on the Star Rouge sequel, hearts in your eyes. “Why?” 
“If I had to dig out another hydrangea petal from my teeth, I was gonna lose it.” Idia chuckled, “I’m sorry you have to deal with such a coward like me.”
“Idia.” You firmly responded, “Don’t. I like you as you are. We’re both young, we have time to grow. I’ll grow with you, if you’ll have me?
Looking down at you, practically on top of him, Idia opened his mouth to tease your softness, and suddenly froze. The mortifying, though wonderful he had to admit, scene was dawning on him as his entire body heated up and turned red. 
“Uuuuuwwwwwahaaahahahahaha—you’reontopofmethere’sagirlontopofmeisthisanewlevelinyourouteIdidn’tprepareforthis—mmmfph!”
You effectively shut him up with another kiss to his lips, smiling as Idia was shocked into silence with a dopy, wobbly smile forming on his lips.
“Relax, Idia, I’ll take the lead on all the romance stuff until you get the hang of it. For now you can be my player two!”
Idia snorted, smirking at you as he teased, “That’s such a cringey thing to say~”
“You say things like that all the time!” 
The two of you shared a soft laugh, unaware of the audience of two at the door watching. Ortho recorded the memory for the wedding he was already planning in his head, while the nurse muttered to herself about wasting time gathering ingredients for a prescription potion she no longer needed. Despite this, she smiled, happy that her little words of encouragement to the Prefect earlier worked. 
778 notes · View notes
taexual · 4 months
Text
sleepwalking ● 19 | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers
warnings: explicit language, ANGST & FLUFF (i mean it, watch out), SLOW BURN
words: 14.5k
read from the beginning ○ masterlist
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chapter 19 ► so dig two graves, ‘cause when you die, i swear i’ll be leaving by your side
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When the tour bus arrived in Glasgow, you realised that you had slept perhaps a quarter of an hour in total tonight. Discomfort and Regret had become unwelcome companions that kept you up.
Last night, you had planned to talk to Jungkook, but he flipped the script and did all the talking instead. And if you had to describe your choices from then on, you’d have to accept that, essentially, you had run away without saying anything.
You realised now, through tossing and turning in your bunk the whole bus journey, that this was your recurring pattern.
When you and Jungkook first broke up, you’d barricaded yourself in your apartment and only ventured outside when it was unavoidable, like to go to work. Or when your friends forced you out of bed. They tolerated your need for silence in moderation—a few days of self-imposed isolation were okay. But two consecutive weeks was a little excessive.
In Stockholm, the impulse to run away had gripped you right after your conversation on the bridge sank abruptly in the waters below. In Oslo, you had actually run away after you’d almost kissed. You could still feel the shivers on your skin from the cold night air on the rooftop terrace. And, of course, you’d also planned to avoid him when you arrived in Manchester.
It was a pattern that was doomed to end in failure every time, yet you stubbornly refused to give it up.
You wanted to escape the feelings that frightened you, but they only ran faster. They chased after you like daunting shadows. They caught up with you. They engulfed you.
This perpetual cycle wasn’t just futile, it was also unfair—to you and to Jungkook. And to Rated Riot, too.
It had gone on for too long.
You were determined to redeem that today.
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While Jungkook and the boys were doing an interview on a local radio station after the soundcheck, you chose to stay at the venue to work. Initially, you only intended to answer internal company emails and update the label executives, but unsurprisingly, that morphed into more tasks that needed your immediate attention.
Seated at your laptop in the band’s dressing room, you spent a good couple of hours finalising Rated Riot’s schedule for the rest of the week, emailing back journalists and verifying their credentials before issuing backstage passes for upcoming interviews, and humming along to a tune playing in your headphones.
It was then—during the chorus of an old Bad Omens song that was loud and messy enough to keep your mind alert and focused—that Seokjin decided to tap you on the back.
You jumped up as high as it was humanly possible and pushed your laptop away as if to protect it from intruders—which was what your mind assumed Seokjin to be, apparently. He took a step back, shocked and very entertained by your violent startle.
“Shit, sorry,” he said, attempting to suppress a smile. “You’ve been—you’ve been working here by yourself for hours. I’m taking a coffee break. Want to join me?”
With one hand pressed to your chest, you slid your headphones off and checked the time on the corner of your laptop screen. “Uh, sure. Coffee sounds nice.”
The two of you found a quaint café a few blocks from Barrowland where Rated Riot would be playing later that evening. But despite the cosy setting, you chose to grab your coffee to-go. It was a warm, sunny day outside. Seokjin thought you could use some fresh air.
“So,” he said eagerly, as soon as the café bell tinkled, announcing your exit, “what’s on your mind?”
You met his question with surprise. “What do you mean?”
He maintained an air of nonchalance, sipping his Americano and observing casually, “your pupils are massive. You look like you’re planning a revolution. Or a massacre.”
You took a sip of your drink and regretted not stirring the caramel in better. You wondered what it would be by the end of tonight: revolution or massacre.
“I was—well, it’s nothing much,” you said. “I was just thinking that things might be different when we got home.”
“How so?”
The two of you crossed the street towards a small, vibrant green space—not quite a park—with a tree-lined pathway in the middle and an old blue police box nearby, reminiscent of Doctor Who.
“Well,” you said, “I hear Brazil is really nice that time of year.”
“You’re thinking of going on holiday?” Seokjin asked, surprised. He’s known you since you joined the company, even before you started to manage Rated Riot, and he was well aware of your lack of holidays. The HR department, however, remained blissfully ignorant about it.
You shrugged. “For starters.”
“And then?”
“And then we’ll see.”
The ambiguity in your response wasn’t worrying in itself, but combined with your reluctance to meet his gaze and the intense concentration on your coffee—even though you winced every time you took a sip—it was certainly alarming.
“You’re not… going to quit, are you?” he asked hesitantly. “I’ve heard about Reconnaissance.”
Of course, he’d heard. At this point, enough people knew about it for the news to have a ripple effect and circulate backstage.
“No,” you said, trying to dispel the tension with an airy laugh. “Of course not.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“I’d find a replacement first.”
Seokjin’s casual stride came to an abrupt halt. A few steps ahead, you realised he’d stopped and turned around.
“No,” he said.
His firm declaration made you stutter. “Th-that—that wasn’t a question.”
“And that’s not an option,” he argued. “You can’t quit.”
“I’m not saying I’m leaving for sure. I’m just saying that if I did leave, you wouldn’t even notice the difference,” you said. “I’m a very good teacher.”
With that, you started to walk away, leaving him little choice but to catch up.
“And I love all of you guys,” you continued while Seokjin grunted next to you. “I wouldn’t leave you with someone I didn’t personally trust to take care of you and the band.”
He shook his head, his determination unwavering. If he had known about the band members’ conviction that no one would blame you if you left Rated Riot due to the alluring offer from Reconnaissance, Seokjin might have been tempted to express his disagreement with his fists.
Of course, people would blame you—Seokjin was the people in question.
You belonged here. You were an essential part of the team.
He was convinced of this, and he was going to be annoying about it.
“Okay, I appreciate that,” he said, his tone tinged with incredulity. “Except, what the fuck are you thinking? Of course, we’d notice the difference! You’re you. We love you.”
“That means a lot—”
“But not enough?”
You hesitated, caught off guard by the intensity of his anger. “No, it’s—”
“Alright, look.” He stopped walking again, the paper cup of coffee in his hand more of an accessory than a beverage. “Is this about Jungkook?”
An unexpected heat surged through you and a cascade of excuses immediately raced through your mind. You scanned the pathway, reading the names of the bands imprinted into the pavement with colourful stripes—artists who’d performed at Barrowland before, you assumed—so you wouldn’t have to look at him.
But this was Seokjin. If there was anyone who knew everything that was going on in the band, it was him. You didn’t want to give him pretend reasons.
“In part,” you admitted.
“Well, if that’s the case, then it’s an even more definite no,” he asserted, his resolve unyielding.
You sighed and attempted to smile, but there was a hint of awkwardness in your expression. “I’m not taking votes, Jin. I’ll talk to Jungkook about this, and—”
“You can talk to anyone you like. All the gods you can find, even,” he interrupted. “But you’re not leaving.”
“Jin—”
“Look, when you accepted this job, the fact that you and Jungkook used to know each other didn’t matter,” he stated, tactfully omitting the word ‘relationship’—a nuance you appreciated. “What difference does it make now?”
As you bit your lip and lowered your eyes, Seokjin sensed that there was a difference, after all. It occurred to him that perhaps he wasn’t entirely up to speed on everything that was happening on the tour, after all.
“Okay, you don’t want to talk about it, and I’m not asking you to,” he said, his words gentle, but his tone strict. “What I’m saying is that nobody cares. You can date, you can break up, you can—I don’t know. You can pretty much do anything as long as you don’t kill each other. No one cares.”
“The label cares,” you blurted, the words unpolished and agitated. “I care.”
He waved his free hand dismissively. “The label cares about profit. We’re making a profit from you both. Maybe even more when you’re together because you’re both less annoying that way.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “How are we annoying?”
“Are you kidding? All mopey and sulky?” He stuck his tongue out and pretended to gag. “You make me sick and miserable.”
You snickered softly at the dramatic display. “Fair. Sorry. But fact is, it’s still a good opportunity.”
“Well, sure,” he conceded. “But is that really the reason you want to leave? Or is it because you think that what you’re doing with Jungkook is wrong? You think others will disapprove or think less of you. You think this is highly unprofessional, and it would make more sense to work elsewhere.”
It felt oddly incongruous to hear him articulate—so easily, without a moment’s hesitation—everything that you had been thinking.
“Well, that’s a factor, too, of course…” you said, your voice faltering.
“I think that’s the main factor.”
Taking a sip of your coffee, you mumbled, “I think you think too much.”
“I think you don’t think enough,” he countered. “You can’t leave, not even for Reconnaissance. You’re part of the team, our team. We all are.”
You looked at him, and he raised his eyebrows expectantly—waiting, clearly, for you to admit defeat.
While you didn’t technically need his consent to quit, the sheer determination in his stance made you feel as though his approval was, indeed, a prerequisite for anyone choosing to leave.
“Now you’re making me feel guilty,” you said.
“As you should!” he said—nearly bellowing in his frustration. “But you should feel guilty about mistakenly thinking that you should leave. Not about being in love with him.”
His words struck a deep chord and your heart began to rattle violently in your chest. “I’m—right. Yeah. I need to talk to him about—about everything.”
His tone softened at your reaction.
“I think you should sit down for ten minutes and gather your thoughts before you do that,” he advised. “You should sit and accept that we don’t care if you go out with Jungkook. Whatever you decide, we’re all cool with it. As long as you are, too.”
Afraid that your eyes would betray your thoughts, you shifted your gaze to the silver barks of the graceful birch trees around you. “Do you know about the bet?”
Seokjin took a slow sip of his coffee to allow more time between these overlapping conversations.
“Yeah,” he said. “Is that... uh, have you two worked it out?”
“We’ve—I think we have. I think the bet wasn’t even the main issue, actually, it just—it sort of highlighted all our problems,” you admitted. “We—we’ll have to work through the rest.”
“Right. Okay,” he said. The sun rolled out from behind the buildings, casting a golden glow on the trees and the empty path ahead of you. He squinted and took a sip of his coffee before speaking. “Well, then I can safely tell you that everyone backstage knows about it.”
The disappointment on your face was absolute. “Oh. That—that’s lovely.”
He smiled sympathetically as the two of you continued down the faintly coloured path. Despite the sunshine, the cool breeze toyed relentlessly with the edges of your jackets.
“Don’t worry about it too much, though,” he said. “It’s nothing more than a silly joke backstage. We’re not judging either of you.”
You did worry about it. “What… do you mean by ‘silly joke,’ exactly?”
The two of you arrived at a large sycamore tree with leaves that glimmered in emerald hues under the sun, and Seokjin stopped, grateful for the shade.
“One of the roadies started it,” he explained. “It was just a game. A bet, actually! Funny.” He chuckled at the irony, but stopped himself when he noticed your stoic expression. “Anyway. Someone suggested that Jungkook’s friends were trying to sabotage your relationship by making this bet with him. So, we bet on Jungkook fighting his friends for you. Which—that cost me money, actually. When he showed up at the airport in Cologne with a black eye, I lost fifty euros.”
It took you a minute to process this, and you felt so uncomfortable that your fists itched with an urge to fight someone, too.
“You—so, you bet that he wouldn’t fight his friends?” you clarified, almost hopeful.
“No. I bet that he would,” he said. “But I got too big-headed and bragged about how he wouldn’t miss a single punch. So, everyone claimed that I lost and took my money. Really, I thought he knew how to fight. And he was doing it for a noble cause.” A dramatic pause ensued, and then Seokjin smirked. “I mean you, by the way.”
“No, yeah, I got that,” you said bitterly. “But you didn’t even know the actual—everyone just assumed he had a black eye because of me?”
He pulled his lips together to stifle a chuckle as he moved his cup of coffee away.
“Can you blame us?” he asked with a leisurely shrug. “He’s in love with you, and his friends are complete idiots. And then he shows up with a black eye! The dots connected themselves. Although, personally, I thought Luna or Maggie could have socked him in the eye, too. You three are very protective of each other.”
You tilted your head, your posture a warning. “I see. So, we’re a telenovela to you. Did you bet that I would knock someone out if I found out what you were up to?”
“Not yet,” he said, clearly delighted by the prospect of this happening in the future.
“Did you get your money back at least?”
“Yeah. But then I lost it again.”
The leaves of the sycamore tree rustled impatiently as you groaned. “How?”
“Another bet,” he said. “Some people—including Jimin, by the way—thought that Jungkook’s friends would never come to another Rated Riot show. In the UK specifically. We were very specific about the details in this bet.”
“Right, of course.”
He smirked, unapologetic about the amusement he derived from this. There were all sorts of games happening backstage at any given point in the tour; nearly everything became a joke here. And Seokjin hoped to show you that yes, people did know about you and Jungkook. But unless they could find ways to make it funny, they didn’t care.
He could tell that the more he talked to you about this, the more you started to recognise the absurdity of it all, too.
“Right. Well, Jimin won that round. I actually—I thought Jungkook would change his mind and bring his friends back,” Seokjin confessed. “Serves me right. I should have trusted him more.”
You raised your cup in his direction.
“Yeah,” you said. “Serves you right for making bets about this. He blacklisted Sid.”
“He—oh!” Seokjin seemed very pleased to hear this. “Well, that was worth my money, then.”
“Hmm.”
He grinned, the mischief still lingering in his eyes.
“We have another bet going on,” he said.
“Anoth—well, of course.” Your teeth dug into the coffee lid as you tried to take a sip, but reconsidered. “So, what? Who’s getting a black eye this time?”
“It’s whether you’ll get back together.”
Your irritation wavered in surprise. A rustling stirred inside you as though you had swallowed the wind and carried it within.
“Well,” you said. “Where’d you place your bets?”
“Drink your coffee,” he said. You did. It had cooled and turned unpleasantly sweet as the caramel settled. “I haven’t bet on that yet. But if you told me if you’re considering going back to him, I could win my money back.”
You made sure to swallow before looking up.
“That’s not solely up to me, though,” you said, sensing an obvious defensive undertone in your own voice. You didn’t make much effort to conceal it; he would have read right through you anyway. “A relationship typically involves two people. I can’t force him to be in it.”
Seokjin offered a patient smile.
“Please,” he said. “Everyone knows he’d burn down half of Europe for you.”
You swallowed again.
It was just you. The only one still fighting it.
“Well, in any case—” Seokjin said, distracted, suddenly, by a particularly cheeky pigeon that kept flying up to your ankles, then to your knees. “That bird is going to steal your coffee.”
You glanced down, and the shift in your position frightened the pigeon into flying a few metres away. Seokjin nodded in approval.
“Anyway,” he said. “What I meant to say is that I don’t know how much my opinion is worth, but if the only reason you’re considering quitting is because of this, then that’s nothing. You sit down, you work through your problems, you get back together, and you’re good to go. Well, good to stay. It’s up to you. No one else cares.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Everyone’s talking. They’re making bets about us. We—we’re a joke backstage. And yet you think we should get back together?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Give us something else to bet on.”
Exasperation flashed across your face. “I’m thinking I’d like to sic that pigeon on you a little bit.”
“Oh, but what would you do without me?” He was grinning in a manner so endearing and genuine that you felt your lips stretch into a defeated smile as well. “You know we’re family. That is what we do. And you said it yourself – everyone’s already talking. And no one’s truly bothered by it. You might as well do what you want.”
You took a big gulp of your coffee to finish it.
Some of the humour faded from his eyes while he watched you. He looked around—to make sure the pigeon hadn’t returned and to gather his thoughts.
“Just think about it, okay?” he said. “You know how they say ‘measure twice, cut once’? Why don’t you measure three times? Four, even. Five. Or, I don’t know, as many times as it takes until you realise that there’s no need to cut anything. Everything’s great as it is.”
Your face felt warm. “That’s very profound.”
“It is.” He nodded, his exaggerated confidence faltering a little when he saw the gratitude in your eyes and suddenly found himself timid. “I’ve also got a few carpentry jokes if you’re in the mood for those.”
Laughing finally, you shook your head. “Maybe later. But thank you for this.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. “And notice how I’m not saying ‘anytime’? Because there can’t be another time that this happens. In fact, the next time I see you, it’ll be as if we never had this conversation.”
Still smiling despite his threatening tone, you put your palm to your forehead and extended your fingers in a salute. “Sir, yes, sir.”
He nodded, content with your response.
“Now go back to that café and bring me a scone,” he ordered, his expression bright again. “I got distracted by your misery and forgot to buy one.”
You snorted and nodded—you did owe him a scone, at the very least. Seokjin stepped deeper into the shade by the tree and waited while you jogged back towards the café. He looked up to see your lighthearted expression reflected in the window across the street and felt himself exhale in relief.
He’d done his job—you knew everyone needed you here.
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You returned to the venue with enough scones for the whole staff, and as you passed them out, almost everyone on the team regarded you with a mix of curiosity and anticipation. It was a nice change from their earlier concerns about your health, but you still felt uncomfortable.
There was an obvious reason you enjoyed working backstage: here, you successfully evaded the spotlight. You did your work quietly and got to spend time with your friends.
But lately, you’d been feeling everyone’s eyes on you and, naturally, your instinctive reaction was to flee. Really, this had to be inherent; you wondered if your brother shared a similar flight-or-flight-never-fight response when confronted with an uncomfortable situation.
And still, you forced yourself to wait.
Following your conversation with Seokjin, you decided on the key points that you needed to discuss with Jungkook. And they were simple: share your thoughts with him and make a decision together.
You’ve never really tried this with him before; open communication was a recent development for the two of you. But you meant what you told Seokjin: a relationship involved two people. And regardless of what -ship you and Jungkook were currently in, your decisions still influenced his, and his influenced yours.
You had hoped to speak to him after he returned from his interview, but it was almost funny how time worked against you today.
After the band returned, you went to help Jungkook with his bandages, and the company executives decided to respond to your email with a phone call. And so, you were forced to stay on the phone with the label the whole time before Rated Riot went on stage.
That was okay. You figured you would talk to Jungkook later.
But later just wouldn’t come.
After the concert, you waited for the band to finish taking pictures with their fans before you took them to another interview with several more radio hosts. And when you returned to the bus, the curtains on Jungkook’s bunk were drawn. You didn’t want to wake him in case he was asleep.
The only time you finally had direct contact with Jungkook was on the plane to London. He surprised you by approaching you from behind and casually lifting your carry-on to the overhead compartment. Then, as though he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, he turned around to return to his seat.
“Wait,” you called out. “Can I—can we talk? Yoongi said he’d switch seats with me.”
Jungkook stopped, his stomach sinking. He was the undefeated champion of misinterpreting situations—he hadn’t forgotten how your conversation had ended last night, but he still thought this was about Sid.
Because while you were beating yourself up about your avoidant tendencies, Jungkook was grappling with a different problem.
Since this morning, he had been bombarded with incessant text messages from an unknown number that ranged from vaguely bothersome (“UR SO DUMB LMSAO”) to genuinely threatening (“DNOT THINK THS IS OVER YOU FUCKVING CUNT”). All texts contained a certain distinctiveness: full capitalisation, typos, and a disturbing scent of wounded ego.
It was Sid, Jungkook was absolutely sure of it.
He seemed to be in a white powder induced frenzy, which wasn’t particularly unusual—Jungkook didn’t think he could remember the last time Sid had been completely sober—but the frequency of the texts was a little unsettling. Jungkook thought the bet was over now, even if Sid wasn’t satisfied. But clearly, Sid was craving something more.
Jungkook wasn’t sure how you would know about this or why you would bring it up now, but he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket again, and he thought this had to be the reason why.
“Sure,” he said, trying to mask his apprehension. He turned on airplane mode on his phone and looked up. “What’s, uh—what’s going on?”
You gestured at his seat. He sat down with bated breath—as if his life was about to change and he needed to brace for it—and waited for you to settle beside him.
“I wanted to, uh, explain myself,” you began as the plane filled. The rhythmic sound of people shuffling across the aisle was oddly soothing. Jungkook, however, appeared perplexed. “And to thank you, actually. For being there when I—well, when all of that happened. I’m sorry I caused—”
“You’ve already thanked me,” he interjected. “And you better not tell me that you’re apologising for fainting right now.”
“I’m—well, I’m just saying, you were right,” you said, disheartened by the disbelief in his eyes. You placed your water bottle on the fold-out tray and shifted in your seat. “I should have known better. Rested more. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m sorry I didn’t listen, and it all led to... that.”
He sighed. This wasn’t about Sid; this was about something worse.
“That’s who you are, though,” he said. He should have known this would be something you would blame yourself for once you recovered. “You always have to get everything done, or you—you can’t sleep. You need to, uh, work on that, but you don’t need to apologise for it.”
You looked down, tracing a shaky finger over the armrest between your seats.
“And,” he added before you could speak, “to be fair, a lot of things that happened on tour were actually out of your control. You had no choice but to put in extra time and effort, I guess. The stage constructions collapsed, the venue was flooded—”
“Right, but these—well, anyway,” you cut yourself off, reverting to your original train of thought. “I’m sorry you had to drop everything a-and worry about me. Well, not just you; the whole thing ended up being a big scene that disrupted everyone. But I—I wanted to say this to you, first of all.”
He observed you for a long moment. Between the truce you’ve decided on in your hotel room, the conversation he’d overheard about your meeting with Nick, and the disturbing messages from an unknown number, Jungkook was having a hard time comprehending what he’d done to warrant an apology from you right now.
Then, a troubling thought occurred to him: what if this was your way of saying goodbye?
He had let you go last night. What if you had decided to leave, and this was the prelude to the end of your time together?
“I’m—I didn’t have to do it,” he said. “I did it because I—well, I mean, you were passed out. Of course, I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He leaned forward in his seat. “It kind of sounds like you’re forgetting that you’re not just the manager here. You’re also my—uh, y-you’re our friend. We all would have acted the same way if it had been anyone else. It’s an ‘all for one, and one for all’ situation with us. You know that.”
He was right; your team had grown so close that none of you would have hesitated to help each other. Your unease simply stemmed from the fact that you were the one receiving help this time.
You swallowed. You thought you owed him an explanation about everything, but you haven’t even really gotten to it yet.
“Thank you,” you said. “For what you said and—and for what you did. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He gave you a hesitant smile. “Was I really so terrible at taking care of you that it made you change your workaholic ways?”
You raised your eyebrows, surprised by the gentle teasing in his words.
“No, you di—you were great. Except for the fact that you didn’t need to do that,” you said, shooting him a look that he promptly rolled his eyes at. You added, “I say that with gratitude, of course. But, um, I felt very uncomfortable just lying there while everyone else—well, can’t let that happen again. Anyway, this isn’t—”
“I hope it won’t happen again,” he interrupted. “But it’s—well, you’ve spent your whole life taking care of... everything. Your brother, your mum, uh, e-even me. It’s second nature to you, I don’t know how else to—you can’t help but actively try to fix things. So, I-I don’t mind being the person who reminds you to take it easy sometimes. I just want you to listen.”
He’d said something very similar to you last night and you dug your teeth into your lower lip so you wouldn’t argue.
You thought you weren’t doing a very good job of fixing things—nevermind that you’ve subconsciously turned absolutely everything around you into your personal responsibility, and it was simply unrealistic to take care of it all.
“Thank you,” you chose to say. “I just, um—I don’t want you to think I’m talking to you so you’d make me feel better. You don’t need to do that. And it’s my turn to expla—”
He whipped his head to look at you so suddenly—an almost offended expression on his face—that the rest of your sentence got caught in your throat.
“Wh—why do you always think that?” he asked. “That I do something for you because I feel like I have to?”
“I don’t—I know you’re not—ah.” Leaning back in your seat, you attempted to rearrange your thoughts as if you were shuffling stubborn cards in a deck—trying to find the one you needed to win a game against yourself. “That’s not even the main thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay,” he said, a little worried. “What is the main thing?”
It took you a moment to find your breath.
“The conversation that we had last night—well, not just last night, actually, it’s been happening for a while. But, uh, last night specifically—it wasn’t supposed to end like that,” you said. He lowered his eyes. “That’s what I wanted to, um—to bring up. Because we’re not talking again, you know? I mean—okay. That’s not true. You are talking. But I’m not. I-I think it’s still new to me that we’re—that we’re actually talking about things. About everything. I’m sorry I haven’t said much to you in return.”
You exhaled when you finished speaking—finished stammering, really—but you didn’t feel relieved. There was a lot more you had to say.
Jungkook, on the other hand, felt his thoughts drift back to Amsterdam once again, when he had entered your hotel room to apologise, and you told him you forgave him and apologised in return. He remembered the pained, laboured beating of his heart as he listened to you—thinking, all the while, that he had no right to want you all for himself.
Now, he had some additional time to think about how to respond, because the flight attendant started the safety demonstration at the front of the plane, preparing for take-off.
He fastened his seatbelt, relieved by the silence on his phone—but the quiet pause between you as the plane lifted off the runway felt very loud in his head.
“You know,” he said after a few minutes, “you find the weirdest things to feel guilty about.”
You furrowed your brows while Jungkook idly twirled the onyx signet ring on his index finger.
“You’re never obligated to respond to what I tell you,” he said. “I didn’t say any of those things to you in Manchester in exchange for your immediate forgiveness, or for some similar stories, or for—anything, really. You don’t owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you everything, and that’s it.”
“I-I get that,” you shifted in your seat, restricted by the seatbelt, “but I’m your manager. And I-I left you in a confusing, stressful situation by yourself when I refused to talk to you right away. That was—it was unprofessional at best, and cruel at—”
“You’re more than that to me, though,” he cut in. You gripped the armrest tighter. “You know that. And you didn’t… leave me in that situation as my manager. You left me there as my ex-girlfriend. You have that right. You were confused and stressed, too.”
Your gaze slid over his black and grey flannel and the t-shirt with a Rated Riot logo underneath. The plane cruised at the designated altitude, but you still felt pushed into your seat like you had during take-off.
“I don’t—I’m not sure those two roles can be separated any longer,” you admitted.
Oh, whispered an alarmed pang of his heart. And, oh? echoed the multitude of shivers rippling underneath his skin.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
You drew in a breath. You didn’t want to start from the beginning because you had a feeling that he might not let you get to the end, so you decided to start from the explanation—the one that you’d come here to give him, but kept getting sidetracked as he responded to you in ways you weren’t anticipating.
“People on tour,” you began, “are very invested in our, uh—situation.”
Jungkook arched an eyebrow. “They’re invested?”
“Apparently, we’re a popular topic backstage.”
Quickly enough, he thought he figured out your implication: if he hadn’t played along with Sid, the staff on this tour might have been having very different conversations.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“No, that’s not—well, it’s not just your fault,” you replied. “It takes two, right?”
“Right, but I was the one who made the bet.”
“You—okay. But this isn’t about the bet—” you paused. Reconsidered. “Well, alright, the bet sort of kick-started a lot of things, but it’s not—that’s not the problem from my point of view right now.”
Oh, once more. And then, ah.
You were talking, he realised, about the things you didn’t want to talk about in your hotel room in Manchester. The things you’ve affectionately labelled as “a confusing, stressful situation.” The things you were supposed to discuss later, when the time was right. Except he had succumbed to the terminal case of nothing-matters-anymore-if-you’re-leaving-the-band and got drunk instead.
“Okay,” he said. “That’s… fine with me.”
“Alright,” you said. “So, here’s our problem: I’m your manager.”
Jungkook raised his eyebrows and pulled his chin back.
“If that’s our only problem,” he said, “we are very lucky people.”
A brief smile flickered on your face.
“It’s our biggest problem,” you clarified. “But we definitely are lucky.”
Encouraged by the amusement in your eyes, he grinned. “Because we have each other?”
Your smile grew and even the plane itself seemed to shake a little when his heart rate accelerated at the sight of it.
“Because we can solve this problem,” you said.
His face fell. He thought he could guess where you were going with this.
“How do you mean?” he still asked, his voice a low murmur.
You thought you could have used some of the whiskey that Jungkook had sought out last night.
With a measured breath, you said, “I leave the band, and—”
“Wait,” he cut you off. “Is that supposed to be—”
“Hear me out first—”
“No, listen—if the problem is that you’re my manager,” he said, “then you leaving Rated Riot is not the solution.”
Jungkook sounded a little like Seokjin had earlier—a stark contrast from the way he’d spoken to you last night by the bus.
“Are you suggesting that because people are talking about us backstage?” he pressed.
You turned away. “It’s not just that. I mean, they’re already talking and that’s—well, it’s not great. But we can’t stop the wheel from turning now, or however that saying goes. What we can do, however, is stop it before it gets worse. And by that I mean, you know—we need to decide what the hell we’re doing.”
That was what he wanted, he thought. But now he was confused.
You seemed to want to make a decision about your relationship together. Yet you also seemed to believe that leaving Rated Riot was the best option. He failed to see how both of these things were possible at the same time.
“So, you’ve made up your mind, then?” he asked. “About leaving?”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” you said. “I don’t want to leave the band, but—”
“Well, that’s the thing, then,” he said sharply, unfastening his seatbelt. Turning to face you, he stumbled over his own confusion, “I’m—I don’t want to hold you back. I told you. But I thought you—I thought it would be—I thought you wanted to leave. I thought—but you want to stay. So, stay.”
Stay.
It was very simple, really, very concise. But it carried a lot more weight than his words last night when he had caught you off guard. When he had let you go.
You wanted to stay. You just didn’t think you should.
Your response wasn’t particularly verbal. “Hmm.”
“Is it me?” Jungkook asked. “Am I the only reason you’re thinking of leaving?”
He didn’t sound accusatory, even though you were prepared for it. He sounded apologetic instead—almost guilty—and you were completely unprepared for that as a million tiny needles pricked at your heart.
“You’re not the only reason,” you replied. “You’re part of it. And I don’t—look, I-I don’t want to leave. But that sounds reasonable when you look at where we are right now.”
He heard nothing of what you’d said.
“That’s not reasonable in the slightest,” he insisted.
“Jungkook—”
“You have to stay. If you—”
“But if that’s the choice that would make more sense for us,” you interjected, exasperated, “then I don’t mind leaving. If—if we weren’t working together anymore, then maybe we could try to finally figure our shit out.”
Now he heard it.
He had a vague awareness that the other passengers behind you had turned off their screens and removed their headphones, choosing to listen to your conversation instead. But he was too stunned by the look in your eyes to care.
So, that was what you were trying to say: you were prepared to leave Rated Riot to fix your relationship.
He opened his mouth to speak, but it took another minute for coherent words to come to him.
“We can—we can figure our shit out while working together,” he said. “Why do you have to leave?”
“It’s—you have to understand,” you said, “that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m pretty sure neither do you, but that’s how you usually function.” Jungkook sobered up enough to offer a noncommittal shrug. You continued, “but for me—this is freaking me out. I don’t—I don’t know what’s going to happen and what we should do, and—leaving the band sounds—it seems reasonable. It seems safe. Smart. And that’s what I’m clinging to.”
He swallowed, not trusting himself to move. “But that’s—”
“Please, it’s—this is what I wanted to say to you—what I should have said to you last night.” There was a pleading tone in your voice. He nodded, quiet while you continued. “If I stay with Rated Riot, and we try to solve our problems… there are only two ways that can go, right? We both know as much. Either we get back together, or we don’t.”
Jungkook was mesmerised by how glaringly simple this was, in principle: either you used a label on your relationship, or you didn’t.
He knew he was going to love you either way, but he couldn’t breathe, suddenly, at the thought of this other choice in this dilemma—the choice where you didn’t get back together, and he spent the rest of his life deliberately going crazy, so he could return—at least in his mind—to that day seven years ago when he first met you.
“Well, uh, yeah,” he managed to say. “That’s pretty much the choices that we’ve got.”
You reclined in your seat, lifting your gaze to the light control buttons overhead.
“If we get back together…” you began, exhaling. “Then, we might have to face a lot of problems from the label. But we might be alright in the end. I don’t know.”
Jungkook tightened his jaw. He attempted to formulate a response that would be logical and appropriate in this situation. But really, his head felt too small for his thoughts and his tongue too big for his mouth.
“That’s… that’s good to know,” he eventually said.
“Mhmm,” you replied distractedly. “But see, what if we don’t get back together? Or we do, but it doesn’t work out?”
That was what worried him, too—but for different reasons.
He knew that you were looking at this from a pragmatic perspective. A logical, what-would-make-more-sense perspective.
He didn’t think he’d ever looked at it this way. For him, this was simple: he loved you and wanted to be with you. He didn’t care how inconvenient and illogical it might seem to those around him, and he refused to think about what would happen if this love didn’t work out. It would have to. How could it not?
But he recognised his privileges; he knew he didn’t have as many responsibilities as you did. And, alright, fine, he thought about it—realistically, if you broke up again, he’d probably drink until he turned into a puddle of whiskey, while you’d flee across the globe to get away from it all.
And yet—was that all there was to this? Just rationality and calculated decisions?
Jungkook cleared his throat and asked the question that he believed really mattered here.
“Do you love me?”
Someone on the plane gulped audibly and held their breath. He wondered if it was him.
The colour of your eyes deepened, then blurred. “I-I—that’s—that’s not—”
“Answer me,” he whispered.
You tried, but no words came out. This moment resembled the nightmares that haunted you lately: you opened your mouth to scream, but silence stifled every sound you tried to make.
“T-that’s—” you began and stopped yourself before you could stutter any further. You took a breath. “That’s not important right now—”
“How can it not be—”
“Because I do love you,” you said quickly—the words slurred into one desperate Idoloveyou, a hopeless Idoloveyou, a how-can-you-possibly-expect-me-not-to Idoloveyou. “But I don’t think I should. I don’t think you should, either. We’re a—we’re a fucking mess.”
Visibly frozen, Jungkook found himself thinking that if this was the sixteenth century, and the two of you just happened to have this conversation in some public square, the townsfolk would have surely accused you of witchcraft.
It was uncanny, the way you cast a spell on him with just four words—all four of which he heard with perfect clarity: I do love you. Granted, he wasn’t sure if he heard the rest. He felt like he was already burning in your place.
“Right,” he thought he said. He couldn’t feel his face. “But we’ve always—”
“I’m—I have to—I do owe you,” you said. He watched you, his expression oscillating between mild confusion and outright bewilderment. “You said I don’t, but I do. I could have told you what was going on in my head like you told me. Honestly, all this time, whenever I talked to people, they all told me to speak to you. To talk it out. And I closed up in my head instead. If I don’t talk about it, I don’t have to deal with it. You know?”
He blinked, finally. “That’s—”
“I’ll explain it, though, okay?” you said. “Please?”
You gave him too much power—as if he could ever say no to you. As if he could stop listening. As if every fibre of his being didn’t ache to stay close to you.
Warm—so unbearably warm that it felt like he was in the middle of exploring the landscapes Dante depicted in Inferno—Jungkook wiped off the sweat from his palms on his dark jeans.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay.”
“It won’t take long,” you assured. “Really, I don’t even have much to say. I’m fucking scared. That’s all there is to it.”
Jungkook seemed to be practising the lost art of swallowing his tongue. He wanted you to continue and you were biting your lip in a way that suggested that this was not all there was to it. You only wished it was.
You took a trembling breath, and your lungs followed—quivering, it seemed, as they tried to provide you with the oxygen necessary for all that you were about to say.
“I spent the first fifteen years of my life watching my parents break up and get back together again,” you began. “And do you know what I felt every single time they broke up? Actual rage.” You laughed wryly here like this reaction was absurd. “But when they got back together, I was fucking—I was hopeful. I refused to speak to them, of course—I was a teenager—but I was… Inside, just like my mum, I also hoped that this would work. That this time would be the one.”
You swallowed and lapsed into a silence so long and heavy that Jungkook worried you might never speak again.
Fifteen years, he thought. And all this time, he’d assumed that your dad left for the final time when you were twelve. That was already bad enough, of course, but Jungkook hadn’t realised that the back-and-forth between your parents that you’d mentioned back in Tilburg had taken place after that. He hadn’t realised that you and your brother had gone through three years of almost having a father—and your mum through almost having a partner.
“I knew they were a tragedy together,” you continued. Jungkook didn’t know how to raise his eyes to look at you. “It was obvious that it wouldn’t last. I always knew it, and I always said that to my mum. But deep down, I still fucking hoped that they’d get together and it would work.”
You shook your head with a cold, unforgiving smile.
“How fucking stupid,” you concluded. “All hope does is bring misery and disappointment.”
“You were a child,” he said, his brows drawn together—sad and a little scared for your younger self. “You just wanted your parents to be together. You wanted a family.”
“Yeah,” you said with a sigh. Then again, “yeah.”
A minute passed without either of you speaking. Flight attendants crossed the aisles, offering complimentary snacks, but missing you—either by mistake or because there was no one in your seats on the plane. The two of you were somewhere else.
“I think,” you said once the commotion around you quieted, “that I wasn’t just angry at my mum for trying again and again, even though it never worked. Or for never losing hope that maybe they could be happy together. I think I was also angry at myself. Because I never truly lost hope, either.”
Jungkook hung his head, his lips tight in silent contemplation.
“So that’s what I’m afraid of,” you said. “I’m scared that this—us—will turn out to be like that. I’m scared that we’ll let wishful thinking take over, and we’ll get back together even though we shouldn’t. Even though it’s obvious that we won’t last.”
Right away, he wanted to insist that you would defy those odds. That there was nothing obvious about the two of you whatsoever. He wanted to promise all that and more, but it wasn’t right—not after you endured fifteen years of broken promises between two of the most important people in your life.
“You, um—” he started to say and coughed suddenly, caught off guard by his dry throat, “—you told me before that you admired your mum’s courage. F-for trying again.”
You handed him the overpriced airport water bottle that you had bought earlier. Jungkook nodded in gratitude.
“I did,” you confirmed. “And I do admire that about her. But I don’t have any of her courage.” You brought a shaky finger over your forehead, not quite scratching it. “I always say that I don’t believe in second chances, but the truth is, I think I do believe in them. I’m just debilitated by my fear that these second chances might not work out.”
Jungkook lowered the bottle. He’d emptied almost half of it in a single gulp, but an anxious undercurrent inside of him had absorbed it before he could feel any relief.
“Is that, um,” he tried to ask, “is that something you feel in general or—or because it’s us?”
You thought about that for half a second and shook your head.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a second chance held so much significance,” you said. “This isn’t a mistake that you can fix. It’s not a human error. It’s you and me. And it’s so—it’s final. There won’t be another chance for us, it’s now or never. And what if it’s never?”
You lowered your gaze, your fingers restless as they toyed with the sleeves of your black shirt. Every now and then, you’d lift your hand to your bare neck—you still hadn’t found any of your necklaces—as if seeking a distraction from the weight of the moment.
“Y-you are—you’re my—” you tried and couldn’t. Finally, you looked at him, and the words you couldn’t voice were right there, shimmering uncertainly in his dark eyes. “You’re my first thought in the morning and the last one at night. I don’t think my heart could take it if I started to have hope for us again, but we didn’t work out in the end.”
Jungkook felt his heart trip over several beats—
Stumble down his ribs—
Crash into his stomach—
Roll around the hollow cavities somewhere at the very bottom—
Rise suddenly, all the way back to his chest—
Expand—
Expand—
Expand—
And explode, it seemed. In a flash of light so vivid and intense that for a minute or two, his blood stopped running and he survived on nothing but the words you’d just said.
“And so that’s what I meant,” you finished, and he struggled to hear your next words over the loud pounding in his chest. “If I stay here and we don’t get back together—or we do, but not for long—then what? We see each other every day, we try to act like nothing’s wrong, we learn how to go back to being professional, and then four years later, you make another bet?”
Jungkook found the end of your sentence so utterly unexpected that he wasn’t sure if he had even heard you correctly. His response was half of a gasp and a fractured “I—” before you cut him off.
“I’m joking,” you said with a gentle smile—one that managed to feel both, very fitting and completely out of place in this situation. “That’s—well, that is why I think it’d be more reasonable for me to leave. That way, I think, we could figure it out without some dramatic, tragic consequences in case it, uh—in case something goes wrong.”
“R-right,” he said. A warm haze settled on his face in a delicate shade of pink. It appeared almost soft to the touch. “I… I understand. I-I don’t—I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that would take that away. All of your fear.”
You swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. There might not be anything to say at all.”
Jungkook hurriedly ran his tongue over his lips. He wasn’t thinking about you leaving right now. He was thinking about you staying and fighting through it.
He wanted to say something more, but he didn’t think he could mend these particular wounds in your heart. They ran deeper than his love could reach.
It wasn’t him that you should have talked to about this. It wasn’t him that could help you reach an agreement—or, at least, an understanding—with your own self.
“You should talk to your mum,” he said.
You looked up from the floor of the plane, surprised. “What?”
“Talk to her,” he repeated. “Just to hear what she thinks about everything. To hear her reasoning. To understand why she made the choices that she did. I think that would be good for you both.”
Your surprise deepened and gained an edge. You looked alarmed, as if the notion that a caregiver could ease your hurt rather than deepen it was new and foreign.
“I’ve—we’ve never—my mum and I have only talked about her relationship with my dad maybe once in our whole lives,” you said. “I have never even talked to her about my own relationship. You know I haven’t.”
He nodded solemnly. “I have, though.”
“What?” you asked. There was a ringing in your ears. “You have—you’ve talked to—to my mum? About—”
“I’m sure she’ll tell you everything.”
For a good minute, you watched him with an expression that held more questions than possible ways of asking them.
“I—I’m very confused right now,” you managed.
He nodded again, understanding, but still not offering any explanations.
He’d told you most of everything, really—he’d called those bits of the story “Haunting” and “Cursed.” But the rest of it had to be something you pieced together on your own.
For a long time, he had imagined this to be something that would hit you years later, perhaps when you would accidentally hear an old Rated Riot song. You’d think no, it can’t be, and you’d rush home. You’d pull out the albums, the track lists, and the lyrics.
And you’d know.
These conversations with your mum were his far side of the moon—invisible, but still present, still heavy.
These conversations were his thoughts and hopes and countless fears.
They were everything he brought to Rated Riot and everything he expressed in the recording booth, in Namjoon’s studio, and on stage.
They were his past and his present, and someone else’s future.
They were him without you, but still searching for you every morning when he woke up.
They were you, you, you.
Everything he’d ever talked to your mum about had been his songs. And all his songs had always been a tale about you—in every banal, every impossible narrative he could find within himself.
They were about seeing you and growing wings.
About kissing you and coming home.
About losing you and bleeding out.
About forever and five minutes that don’t mean anything once they’re over.
“I’m sorry,” he said, not capable of much else. “I needed her help with something. I didn’t really tell her anything, uh, directly, so to speak. But she—she knows. She’ll tell you everything. It’s just, um—you have to talk to her, too. You have to tell her what you told me.”
Airplanes, you realised suddenly, made it very easy to force yourself to stop running away. There was nowhere to escape—you could see the clouds reflected in his eyes and you were already falling in them anyway.
“I’ll talk to her,” you said.
Jungkook gave you a small nod and scratched his knee absentmindedly.
“I want you to stay,” he stated. “With the band. It’s—it’s selfish, but it’s the truth. I’ve always tried to encourage you to stop thinking so much a-and just do what you wanted, and this—this is what you want, despite your fear. You want to stay.”
You looked at him with a forlorn expression and he felt his hands twitch at his sides.
“But what will we do?” you asked.
“We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “I mean, we’ve gotten this far, right? So, give us a chance. We’re not completely hopeless. We can... talk our way through it all, step by step.”
You’ve talked your way through a lot and you have gotten this far, that was true. Even if the journey hadn’t been pleasant.
Seokjin had told you earlier today that as long as you stayed with the band, no one would care about what happened next. And, really, no matter how you looked at it, this was what it all boiled down to: it was just you.
Only you—afraid of what others will say, afraid of getting hurt and hurting him again, afraid of doing too much, and afraid of not doing enough.
“I’m—” you tried, “w-we don’t know what will happen. That’s why I’m—”
“I know,” he said. “And you’re right. We don’t know what will happen. That’s fucking terrifying. I’m scared, too.”
He did look a little scared, but he licked his lips and successfully collected himself.
The two of you were so close to meeting in the middle and taking that first step together—just a little more strain between your shaking, outstretched hands.
“And I-I know that the bet is another thing that—that might make it harder for you to believe that we can—that we can work it out,” he added, spinning his ring around his finger twice more. “But I want you to know that it—the bet was a fucked up thing to do. But it gave me a reason to talk to you about everything that I already wanted to talk to you about. I’m—even without the bet, I would have approached you, eventually. It just—I was fucking scared, so it might have taken me longer.”
It wasn’t just you.
Fear was in the epicentre of everything you were saying to each other. It was like the wind in every city you visited on this tour—inescapable, uncontrollable, persistent.
He was afraid, too—of trying and failing. Afraid of getting his heart broken and breaking yours. Afraid of never finding the forever that he desperately wanted with you.
“My point is,” Jungkook finished, “I think this is inevitable, because—well, let’s be honest,” he chuckled softly, trying to lessen the gravity of his confession, “all I’d ever wanted in my entire fucked-up life was you.”
Your breath trembled.
Something very deep inside of you wanted you to believe that inevitability was meant for the two of you, too.
“It’s been four years, though,” you said with a faint shake of your head. “What if it takes us another four to find a way to make this work?”
“It—well, I don’t really care how long it takes, to be honest,” he said. “I’m going to die yours.”
He said that and your heart stopped beating for a moment to listen.
To wait.
To make one thing very clear for you: you would never survive losing him again.
And you were scared—completely petrified—to find yourself in a situation where losing him was possible. Where it was likely.
Jungkook saw it on your face. He saw everything—the anguish, the pain, the doubt, the fear.
But he felt a little exhilarated to find the fight in your eyes, too. This fight was the reason you were talking to him about things that you’ve never talked about. It was the reason you were here.
“We’ll decide everything else when the idea of—of trying again doesn’t scare you so much anymore,” he said, keeping his voice steady. “When you hear your mum’s point of view, and you can make a, uh—an informed decision.”
He noted that there was something softer in your eyes when you looked at him again, but he could still discern the lingering edges of doubt.
“You think that’ll help me make an informed decision?” you asked, touched by his choice of words.
“I hope it will,” he replied. “But we can work it all out, either way. I just think you need to talk to her. It’s been so long.”
“Right. It has been.” You clasped your hands around your neck and tucked your chin between your palms. “It—it probably won’t be an easy conversation, though.”
“Nor will it be short, I imagine.”
“Hmm. Probably not.”
He sensed the growing distance between you as your eyes ran over the back of the seat in front of you. He knew you well enough to understand what you were doing: you were mapping out the rest of your story in your head.
He didn’t like that. Your stories rarely had happy endings.
“You don’t—don’t start planning it ahead, though,” he said hastily—before you reached the unhappily ever after in your mind. “It’ll be late when we land in London. You need to sleep. Talk to her after that. When you—when you’re not working. We can wait. We have time.”
Finally, you allowed your gazes to meet again—and to linger a little longer this time.
You took a moment to note that, despite knowing Jungkook for so long, every time you looked at him, you still needed a minute to will yourself to keep breathing. You remembered thinking, after your first few dates, if that would ever go away—logically, it should have.
But you watched him now, seven years since you’ve met, and the beating of your heart still felt backwards.
I’m going to die yours
I’m going to die yours
I’m going to die—
“Okay,” you finally said. “I’ll call her as soon as possible.”
He nodded twice and closed his eyes for a brief respite—but hesitated, suddenly, before opening them again.
He wondered, for a suspended moment, what it would mean for you—this ‘as soon as possible.’
Then he looked at you and decided to tell you what he wanted it to mean.
“Before that happens, though—before you talk to her, I mean—I-I want to still be able to see you,” he said and did so assertively, using the phrase I want, but really meaning, I must. “I don’t want to not talk to you.”
You felt your frosty expression crumble effortlessly into a soft smile.
“We’ve agreed to a truce, right?” you said easily. Lightly.
His heart soared.
He was smiling, too, but with caution—his lips were pressed together as he bit into his lip ring to contain his smile to a level that he thought appropriate.
His shining eyes gave him away, however, and you wondered—the thought sudden and overwhelming—if there was a point in your life when you weren’t in love with him when he smiled.
“Let’s try a friendship,” he proposed.
“Oh—” Your smile abruptly turned into laughter as you remembered trying this once before. It had lasted for about two days. “You know we can’t be friends. We don’t know how.”
The gentle cadence of your laughter made him weightless.
“What are you talking about?” he teased—so high that he was certain the flight attendants were going to ask him to take it down a notch because it was dangerous to float on the ceiling in the middle of a flight. “We can be whatever the fuck we want to be.”
Your laughter grew bolder, strengthened by the relief that you’ve had this conversation, that you’ve decided on your next steps, however uncertain they were—and his smile spread.
You could see him beaming through your half-closed eyes, and there was absolutely nothing—no matter how big or small, significant or not at all—that you wouldn’t have done for him when he looked like that, and no amount of fear could have stopped you.
He'd burn down half of Europe for you, Seokjin had said.
You were worried you’d burn all of it for him.
“Honestly,” you said, “we’re such a mess that I have nothing else to say. Sure. Let’s try being friends again. Why not?”
“For the time being?” Jungkook asked. There was a tentative glint in his eyes. “Until we figure out if—until we decide what we’re going to do with us?”
It was very considerate of him to say ‘we’ here, when you knew that you were the one who needed to get it together in the end.
“For the time being,” you confirmed.
“And you’ll stay?” he asked once more. “With Rated Riot?”
Last night, he had told you he was letting you go, and you needed to hear it—not just to see how much he’s grown, but to fully understand yourself. To stop jumping from possibility to possibility. To accept that it was okay to do what you wanted sometimes.
The past few days were like flipping a coin and realising, while it was mid-air, which side you were hoping it would land on.
“I’ll stay.”
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Jungkook thought that this flight was going to be the most thrilling part of his day. But a miracle happened as soon as the plane touched down in London.
His grandmother called him.
It wasn’t an accident like he had initially assumed when he saw her name on his phone. She called because she missed her favourite grandson and wanted to wish him good luck at his concert (and chastise him a little for not wearing “enough clothing” on stage).
Jungkook wasn’t sure if the tears in his eyes were because she’d remembered who he was, remembered what he did for a living, because she’d called, or because she’d confirmed his long-held suspicion that he was her favourite grandson.
Perhaps, and most likely, it was all of these things.
He was so excited that he stared at his phone even after the call had ended, ignoring the influx of more unintelligible, frantic messages from the same unknown number. He probably would have spent the rest of the night fixated on the screen if his battery hadn’t run out by the time everyone settled in the hotel.
At that point, there was nothing Jungkook wanted more than to tell you about the fifteen-minute phone call. However, he couldn’t call or text with his phone off—and waiting for ten minutes until he found the charger in his suitcase seemed like half of an eternity.
Unaware of the lateness of the hour, he lingered outside the hotel, thinking of a plan.
In the end, he decided he didn’t want to draw more attention to your friendship—he hiccupped on the word even in his thoughts—and approached the decorative garden at the front entrance. Ficus plants (artificial, as it turned out) rested in a bed of pebbles (real, for some reason) and Jungkook grabbed a handful of those before heading back to the south wing of the hotel.
He counted down the windows until he identified yours, then took half a dozen steps back from the wall and tossed a pebble at your window. It hit the glass with a gentle thud and dropped onto the grass four floors below.
Jungkook waited for a minute—or what felt like a minute—and tossed another one, making this one bounce against your windowsill before it slipped into your room through the crack of the open window.
He waited again and, finally, your curtains fluttered. A moment later, he saw your puzzled face as you opened the window and covered your squinting eyes with your hand, peering down into the darkness.
“Jungkook?” you called out. “What—what the fuck are you doing?”
“Trying to get your attention!” he shouted with an elated lilt in his voice.
You picked up the pebble from the windowsill and lifted it. He couldn’t see it very well from the ground, but he could see your confused expression.
“By throwing rocks at my window?”
“Yeah!”
“How—are you—for what—”
You stopped. There wasn’t a singular question you wanted to ask, because nothing about what he was doing made any sense whatsoever.
You leaned over the windowsill to get a better look at him, but it didn’t help much. The light from your hotel room made it difficult to discern his expression in the pitch-black night. And the garden lights adorning the exterior of the hotel only highlighted his white sneakers.
“I’m sure there were a lot of steps you could have taken before you had to resort to this,” you shouted into the night. “Most people text. Or knock on the door.”
“My phone’s dead,” he explained, lifting a black block that you assumed was the dead phone. “And I didn’t want anyone to see me going into your room. Can you come down here?”
“Wh—hold on a second.” You retreated into the room to put on a robe over the t-shirt you had worn to bed. The night wind felt a little less frigid when you leaned out of the window again. “Can you just come up here? It’s nearly six in the morning, no one will see—”
“Come on, we finally have a few days off!” he shouted, implying, clearly, that you’d have time to catch up on sleep later. After days of him forcing you to rest, this was very unusual—but, really, quite welcome.
You realised that something important must have happened for him to do this. However, his buoyant voice—and this whole situation in general—also made you wonder if he was drunk.
“I meant that it’s cold outside,” you said. “Wouldn’t it be warmer to—”
“I can—it’s not that bad,” he ended up saying after quickly surmising that his offer to warm you might lead to you throwing that same pebble right at his forehead. “Please?”
You were well aware that this could go on for a while, and it probably wouldn’t be long before your Romeo-and-Juliet-esque conversation attracted the attention of the hotel staff, who would politely ask you to find a different accommodation. The manager already didn’t seem especially pleased when he found out that a rock band would be staying at his hotel.
“Alright. I’m coming down,” you said. “Put the rocks back where you found them.”
He snickered and watched you close the window, disappearing inside of your room.
By the time he returned the remaining pebbles back to the garden, the sky was already beginning to paint itself red. The clouds obscured the rising sun, but Jungkook turned his head just in time to see you walk through the hotel door, and he felt like it was the middle of the day already.
“What’s going on?” you asked, a little concerned about the size of the grin on his face.
“My grandma called me,” he said. “She’s having a good day. She remembered me.”
“Oh, my God!” you gasped. All of your irritation about leaving your warm hotel room at this hour vanished in an instant. “That’s great news! Did you talk to her?”
“Yeah!” He nodded, nearly laughing in pure, beautiful euphoria. “The whole call, she was okay. Even scolded me for breaking the glass on her favourite picture frame when I came to say goodbye to her on the last night before the tour.”
You laughed, infected with his bright mood. “Jungkook, that’s—that’s fantastic. I’m so—”
Instinctively, he pulled you to him by wrapping his arms around your waist. For just a moment, he tightened his embrace and lifted you up slightly, laughing breathlessly when you gasped in surprise.
“I know,” he murmured into your neck as he lowered you to the ground. “I still can’t believe she really called.”
He held you close to him with one hand around your waist, and another one on the back of your neck—and you were stunned for a split-second. Then finally, muscle memory roused you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting the side of your head against his.
“I’m—I’m so happy to hear that,” you whispered, feeling his breath on your shoulder and the goosebumps that rose on your skin as a result.
“I am, too.” He slowly pulled his head back to look at you, and the sight of the smile on his face was enough to pierce your heart with something that you could never remove. “You’re the first person I wanted to tell this to.”
Wordlessly, you pulled him back into a hug. You could feel the stretch of his cheeks against yours as his smile widened, and you realised you’d never want to run away from this. You’d always want to stay.
You were going to stay.
No. That wasn’t right.
You wouldn’t just stay with Rated Riot, determined to destroy every ounce of your fear for him. You’d have mopped up whole oceans for him. Captured shooting stars and stuffed them into jars. Flooded the entire world with an endless sea.
You’d have done anything to have him here like this: smiling so much that he could barely speak while his chest thud-thud-thudded against yours.
You felt so much of it—this vast love that refused to die no matter how much it was beaten—that you didn’t know what to do with it all.
A minute later, you pulled back slightly—a little dizzy from the intense whirlwinds inside your chest.
“T-thank you,” you stammered. “For telling me. I’m really—I’m so happy for you.”
His hands lingered on your waist, extending the moment to the very end.
“Thank you,” he replied, taking a reluctant step back. “She, um—she asked me to say hi to you. You know, from her.”
You were surprised that she remembered you—and brought you up!—and your smile returned, encouraged by the bashful look in his eyes when he said this.
“Give her my best the next time you talk to her,” you said.
“I will.” He nodded eagerly, then slowed down. “Although, I, uh—well—I don’t know when that’ll be.”
“That’s okay,” you replied quickly, not wanting to lose the lightness of the moment so soon. “The important thing is that she’s having a good day today. And she called you!”
You raised your voice at the end of the sentence, and it was enough to rekindle his excitement.
“She did!” he sang. “She said I was her favourite grandson, by the way. So I was right.”
“Oh—hmm.” You remembered pretending to argue with him about this in Stockholm and couldn’t help yourself. “Well, alright. I guess that makes sense. Remember that stray orange cat that she used to feed every night? Reginald?”
“Reggie,” he said, grinning. The cat was one of the first things his grandmother mentioned when she called tonight; it had stopped coming to see her, but continued to take up a large place in her heart. “What’s he got to do with this?”
“Well, I mean, she loved him so much, even though he scratched her every time she got too close,” you explained. “Clearly, she always had a soft spot for troublemakers.”
“Okay, now,”—he clicked his tongue—“my grandma did actually love that cat a lot, so I’ll take that as a compliment.”
You snickered and he laughed, too, and for a moment, he thought his chest might have exploded if he felt any happier than he did right now.
Then he noticed you clutching your robe closer to your body. Whatever you’d worn underneath wasn’t enough to keep you warm now that the initial excitement slowly began to fade.
“Do you, uh… want to go back inside?” he asked, gesturing at the exposed skin of your wrists. “You’re shivering.”
You looked down at your hands. “I’m okay. But maybe we could sit?”
You turned to look around. There was a bench right at the edge of the garden, next to a bronze-coloured flowerpot that was placed in the pebbles Jungkook had used to “get your attention”.
“Yeah,” he agreed.
You shivered all over again when he sat down next to you, and the bench turned out to be smaller than it had appeared. You could feel every bounce of his restless legs.
“So,” you said, “what did you two talk about?”
He brightened at your question, and suddenly, you didn’t think he was anywhere near close enough.
“Oh, so many things,” he said. “She told me she’d like to see us perform. Can we make that happen when we go back?”
“Absolutely,” you promised.
“Yeah?” His smile widened and his bouncing increased. “She’ll probably hate it. Mosh pits aren’t her thing.”
“We’ll put her in the balcony seats,” you suggested. This conversation felt so ordinary that it was hard to imagine you could be talking to him about anything else. “She’ll love every second of watching you on stage.”
“She said she saw pictures from the tour,” he added, giddy. “My cousins showed her Maggie’s Instagram profile.”
“Did she see your pirate cosplay?”
Jungkook displayed a remarkable resilience to the pirate jokes after that first concert—you and Jimin suspected that the response from the audience played a big part in his newfound immunity—and he chuckled at it now.
“She did,” he said. “She said I reminded her of Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.”
You pulled back a little to get a better look at him, even though he no longer needed to wear the eye patch. Most of the discolouration around his eye had already faded and you’d managed to cover up the scratches with a few smaller, skin-coloured adhesive pads.
“Well, shit,” you said. “Maybe I do kind of see the resemblance. You’ve got the hair.”
“I don’t know who that is,” he admitted.
You widened your eyes. “Jungkook. You don’t know Snake Plissken?”
“No, but my grandma said all her friends had a crush on him after the film came out,” he said. “Except for my grandma, of course. She insists she only ever had eyes for my grandpa.”
You both chuckled at this with a childlike glee—the thought of a love that spanned decades felt exhilarating and very possible as the sky awakened above you.
“My mum liked Kurt Russell, too, after the film,” you said. “And she was nine at the time. She snuck into the theatre with her brother and his friends.”
Jungkook inclined his head thoughtfully. “Maybe that guy’s not so bad, then.”
“He’s a classic,” you corrected. “But your taste in films isn’t.”
“That’s actually exactly what my grandma said,” he remembered. “She told me not to come home until I watched it.”
You could hear his grandmother saying this exact thing to him and felt yourself smile again.
“I think you’d love it if you watched it,” you said. “So, it’s not much of a threat.”
“Really?” He looked at you, but only for a fraction of a moment. “Would you—I mean, it’d be cool if we could—”
You knew what he was asking. And your response—like most of everything else tonight—came as a reflex. “I’m sure we can rent it on Amazon.”
“Okay,” he said, his shoulders slumping against yours in visible relief. “That—I’d like that.”
Unwelcome, the raw breeze of the late hour caught up with you, and you felt your body shudder involuntarily once more. Determined to ignore the chill, you opened your mouth to continue the conversation, but Jungkook suddenly leaned forwards.
“Here,” he said, slipping out of his dark flannel. “Put this on. It’s not much, but—”
“No, no—” you tried, but he drew closer to drape the flannel over your shoulders. “You’ll catch a cold.”
“I’ll be fine,” he insisted, pulling back. To further reduce the significance of the gesture, he added, “it’s what friends do. And I’m warm anyway.”
You clutched the collar of the flannel tighter to prevent it from sliding off. Or just to have something to do with your hands. “Well—thanks, friend.”
A powerful waft of his cologne permeated your senses, and you closed your eyes, preserving the refreshing blend of woody and citrus notes that already took up a significant amount of space in your memory.
Every time you inhaled, his scent mixed with a different moment from your life—and it all flooded your mind in an unstoppable sequence.
Meeting Jungkook—
Kissing him for the first time on that rainy night in the park—
Hugging him hello every morning before class—
Borrowing his clothes when you stayed at his dorm—
Losing your mind when you found yourself alone and his scent returned to you, uninvited.
Jungkook appeared to be sharing your memories in real time as he inhaled sharply and tapped his fingers against his shaky thighs.
“Friends,” he said, swallowing, “probably don’t kiss each other.”
His words ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach without any matches.
You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. “Yeah, uh—t-they probably don’t.”
“Hmm. Right.”
“As your friend,” you said, sitting up straighter and letting his flannel settle around your shoulders while you lowered your hands to the wooden bench underneath you, “I’m pointing out that you’re on a high because your grandma called. That’s why you’re thinking about—”
“I’m on a high because I’m with you,” he stated. “My friend.”
The fire inside you spread rapidly, wildly, uncontrollably.
The way you were starting to lose feeling in your fingers from gripping the bench so tightly, yet you refused to let go of it, should have probably been studied scientifically.
“Well, then,” you said, “let’s look at it this way: have you ever kissed friends before? Sid maybe?”
Jungkook snorted. “God forbid.”
“Minjun, then?”
“No,” he said. “Do you think I should?”
You snickered. “No. But if we’re friends, too, then we probably shouldn’t do that, either.”
He looked at you, his lips puckered in thought. Unconsciously, you had started to scrape at the dark paint of the bench.
You hadn’t meant a word of what you’d said. He suspected as much.
“Probably not,” he agreed. “But we’re such a mess, though, right?”
The echo of your own words on the plane brought a smile to your face again—a reaction more rooted in easing the sudden surge of anticipation rather than genuine amusement.
“Yeah,” you said quietly. “We’re such a mess.”
Jungkook felt a little afraid, which was something that he always felt when the world around him blurred, and he found himself incapable of looking away from your lips.
It was dangerous, this tunnel vision. This singular focus. This impossible, magnetic pull that defied all reason, that made the whole universe tremble with a silent—
He leaned closer.
For a fleeting moment, the space between you was filled with nothing but your echoing heartbeats and silent memories.
For a fleeting moment, time itself held its breath.
You remembered Oslo and the way Jungkook had pulled away. You remembered how worried you were, how horrified—he was drunk, and he’d pulled away. He’d done the rational thing.
Funny thing, rationality.
You thought you were perfectly rational when you closed the remaining distance and your lips brushed against his—hesitant, uncertain, tender. A permission, a question, and his unequivocal death, all in one.
Jungkook inhaled—as if checking if he was alive or just pretending to be—and reached up to touch your cheek. He pulled you closer and stole the remnants of your breath with his kiss.
It was fair, he thought. You had stolen his entire soul.
The touch of your lips lasted for less than a minute—not nearly enough time for the trees around you to exhale in clandestine relief—but the softness of his mouth, the slow, intoxicating smacking of your lips against his, and the faint notes of mint on his tongue did irreparable damage to your pulse.
He stole that too, he supposed, because when he pulled away, his heart seemed to beat with enough strength to support the lives of half the population.
“Do friends discuss what it means if they kiss?” he asked, winded. His chest touched yours every time it rose in an attempt to recover.
Your laughter was breathless, too. “I’m thinking no.”
“I like what you’re thinking.”
Something very tranquil and very happy was inscribed into the contours of your features.
Soft red feathers spread across the sky above you as the city slowly stirred awake.
For the first time in a long time, everything felt like it was supposed to.
“I have a free day tomorrow,” you said. “Well, today.”
Jungkook was a bit puzzled by the shift in conversation but went along with it nonetheless. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm. The girls and I made plans, but I’m, uh—I’m going to call my mum before I go. I set an alarm for it and everything,” you said with a self-conscious chuckle. “I’m going to talk to her.”
“Oh.” He was shaking a little, he realised. He hoped you wouldn’t notice it and decide to give him his flannel back. “Well, that—that’s good. You should do that.”
You nodded, lowering your gaze to the grass and the pebbles below. “Yeah.”
“I’m going to kiss you again,” he decided. “For good luck.”
Your surprised smile overshadowed everything else he wanted to tell you.
“Oh,” you said. “Is that what friends do?”
“Yes,” he replied. “You didn’t know? It can’t be just one kiss, that’s bad luck.”
“Actually, I heard even numbers are bad luck.”
He gasped theatrically. “Oh, but that’s terrible! I’ll have to kiss you three times, then. To be safe.”
You smiled and shook your head. He died a little then, because everything was here, just like in his worst nightmares and his favourite daydreams: your scent, your eyes, your smile. All of you.
“You’re always such an idiot,” you said with so much affection that the wind crept away miserably, defeated by the warmth in Jungkook’s gaze when he looked at you. When he felt your hand on the side of his face—gentle and careful so as not to touch the healing bruises on his cheek.
“Hmm.” He wasn’t sure if he’d ever remember how to breathe again. “You said you love me, though.”
“I do,” you said, beaming, as you ran the tips of your fingers over the edges of his wolf cut. “It’s a burden I have to live with.”
He shivered from your touch and leaned in—impatient, all of a sudden. His lips met yours with a soft, rehearsed touch, and he thought he died all over again when you pulled him closer.
Your heart brought back the memories of sensations that you’ve tried to bury; it revived them and set them loose in your chest when you kissed him back and felt the smile on his lips.
Your heart threatened to quit it, to burst into flames and take you down with it when you felt his tongue slowly glide over your lower lip.
Your heart settled right against his when you parted your lips. When you felt his warm breath mingle with yours. When you held onto him with everything you were feeling, and he held onto you.
He kissed you in every way that a friend wasn’t supposed to, and groaned softly when he touched the back of your neck and felt the relentless roughness of goosebumps under his fingertips. Your body reflected everything he was feeling.
Every time your lips met—gentle and feverish—every time he pulled you closer—frantic and heated—every time you inhaled when he exhaled—sharp and eager—you were setting fire to something that once was and building something new in its place.
There seemed to be small fragments of a foreign nature inside of you both—fragments that had danced with each other long before your first kiss and would continue the lively, eternal swaying for years and years after your last.
Maybe it was dust from two neighbouring stars, drawn together by a force stronger than them, but forced to crash somewhere on earth and settle and quiver and wake up inside of you both.
Or maybe it was something less grand. Maybe it was just luck. Just coincidence.
“See,” you whispered, pulling back. “I told you we don’t know how to be friends.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” he replied, kissing the corner of your lips. The sparks inside him were fierce and relentless when you smiled in response. “I think friends can decide what sort of friends they want to be.”
“What sort of friends are we going to be, then?”
“This sort.”
You could see the northern lights and the tails of comets in his eyes before he leaned in to kiss you again. You could taste the longing for the Milky Way and the whispers of timeless meteors on his tongue.
And it all solidified this for you: the two of you were not luck and not coincidence.
You were something much more.
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chapter title credits: bring me the horizon, “follow you”
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archonsabyss · 4 months
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╰─..✶. [ Desire for Simplicity ]
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❒ pairing: al haitham x fem!reader
❒ genre: domestic! slice of life w minor angst w comfort? smut [nsfw 18+]
❒ warnings: fingering! vaginal sex ! teasing! biting! hickies! desk fucking! unprotected sex! nudity! showering together! aftercare!
❒ word count: 5.5k
─❒ authors note: guess who's finally clearing out her drafts🙄 couldn't possibly be me. but also I'm like superly- giddily proud of this one heh especially towards the end. i'm finally trying to work on my smut skills too so there's that. truly envy and appreciate all those smut writers ✨
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For a man averse to exceeding his expected workload, you were certain the corridors of the Akademiya saw your lover more often than the walls of your home did, and initially, you were fine with it considering you understood that was the duties and responsibilities of his work, acknowledging that life demanded such commitments, but as the days unfolded it became increasingly challenging to suppress your missing of his presence.
The bed felt cold when you drifted off to sleep, with only a fleeting warmth lingering in the morning. Al Haitham would often slip into bed during the late hours of the night to lie with you. He'd hold you close against his chest before having to rise and depart for work once again, and on both occasions you seldom seized the opportunity to greet him, always succumbing to sleep. Even breakfast passed in unusual silence, accompanied only by the chirping of birds outside. Then came lunch, where boredom crept in and led you to experiment and explore the making of dishes from a diversity of cultures to fill the void of passing time, and when evening descended, you dedicated yourself to catching up on work and completing your studies as those were the designated hours of the day you set out for it.
There were times when making dinner seemed futile as you were home alone more often than not, and with your lack of appetite and constantly visiting laziness, one could argue that dinner was unnecessary when there were leftovers from lunch. Nonetheless, without fail, you ensured that a plate of food awaited Al Haitham in the fridge upon his return every day. If not for the little note left behind on your bedside table expressing his gratitude for the meal, and the empty dish drying on the rack, you would have been left uncertain about whether he had eaten or not, and that would make for a continuous worry.
With every day that passed and you encountered him less frequently despite living together, you held onto the hope that these busy days would soon die down and he'd return home in the afternoon with a subtle smirk playing on his lips as he assured you of his newfound availability.
You were convinced that Al Haitham also felt the absence of your presence, evident in the increasing number of notes he left behind and the bouquet of flowers sent every other week. Additionally, his unrefuted companion Kaveh had begrudgingly visited regularly at Al Haitham's insistence to provide you with company. Though Kaveh expressed annoyance at feeling like a servant at Al Haitham's beck and call, what he wouldn't admit was that he understood and perhaps even felt a hint of sympathy for the man. Moreover, if it were up to him, he would do anything for you, keep you company if you could stomach his endless ranting. Kaveh just simply disliked that Al Haitham had to be the one making the request, making his visits feel like fulfilling the latter's directives.
As the middle of the second month in this monotonous routine approached, you found yourself running out of ways to stay occupied. Work and studies were up to date, projects were completed in advance, and you actively sought hands-on experience through practicals. Life had indeed slowed down, and while grateful for the break, one unsettling aspect remained – your partner did not share the same sentiment.
One afternoon, after a day spent in the forest with Tighnari, you returned home with a content smile, anticipating a relaxing bath and the rest of the day unwinding. However, upon entering the house a sense of unease gripped you. As you surveyed the living room for clues, the puzzle started to unravel when you approached the bedroom nearing Al Haitham's home office positioned just before it.
The closer you got the more the distinct sound of papers being crunched and flipped caught your attention, prompting you to peek through the door and witness the unexpected sight of your formally absent lover home earlier than you expected. He was immersed in a sea of papers at his desk, focused intently until your call reached him, the evident smile in your voice. His gaze lifted and you found yourself captivated by the glow of his green eyes, encircled by a subtle twinkle of orange, radiating with a touch of ecstasy.
"You're home" You exclaimed, a broad smile impossible to restrain making its way onto your lips.
"Indeed, I am," He replied, a hint of guilt evident in his dismissal. His tone lowered, and signs of stress appeared in his body language, yet it all seemed to diminish as soon as you entered.
Pushing his seat back and setting aside his papers, he motioned for you to come closer.
He grasps your hand, guiding you to sit on his lap.
As you settle comfortably on his lap, Al Haitham immediately nestles his face into the area between your ear and shoulder, and he breathes in your scent fulfilling a long-desired longing.
A deep sigh of contentment escapes him as it envelops his senses.
"How long have you been home?"
"A couple of hours. I was hoping to catch you, but I didn't know you'd be out," He murmurs, his head resting on your shoulder.
"Yeah, Nari invited me for brunch. He needed assistance gathering some herbs and brewing remedies. Figured it would be nice to step out and dust off my skills, they were getting a bit rusty."
"They see you more frequently than I do lately," Al Haitham remarks wearily, planting kisses on the same spot on your neck.
"Can't be helped, my love," You replied, running your fingers through his hair.
"This is precisely why I declined the position of grand sage from the beginning. I was content with how my life was; comfortable, and with ample time to spend with you."
You couldn't argue with his perspective; you empathized with the burdens on his shoulders. Feeling the tension beneath your fingertips as you massaged his knots, you understood his stress. Al Haitham's arms enveloped you, his body gradually relaxing under your touch, indicating that it was effective.
"Are you alright?" You asked softly, concern evident on your face as you noticed his eyebrows furrow in response to the pressure applied to relieve the knots in his tense muscles.
"I'm fine, princess." Or at least, I will be
However, he wasn't. In the context of missing you, he was far from fine. Previously, he couldn't have imagined what people sought in relationships. While he grasped the concept of loneliness and the desire for companionship, recognizing physical touch as a form of expression, his understanding was largely confined to the knowledge recorded in countless scripts. Though remarkably clever, his emotional aloofness became apparent when he entered a relationship with you.
He came to realize that the everyday acts of service he had carried out throughout his life held more significance than he had initially envisioned.
How could a simple gesture like holding a door open for you, elicit such a appreciative smile?
What did it signify that the unspoken deeds he performed, seeking no recognition, held weight in portraying him as a decent and well-mannered individual?
He had done these things without much thought. However, you made him realize that these acts were integral in fulfilling human desires for care, love, attention, and affection.
But it makes sense, he thought to himself, 'no wonder he received admiring glances when he held the door open to the Cafe for a girl and what he presumed to be her friends'.
This is what human desires encompassed— their hunger for power and attention, their seeking of approval and validation, and their longing for love and affection.
Through you and the bond you forged with him, Al Haitham slowly started comprehending human concepts, as if he weren't a mortal made of flesh and bone just like them. He gained a better understanding of love and the yearning for emotional connection, realizing that these were things he desperately needed after weeks consumed by work. So, he embraced you, holding you tightly against him. At that moment, he thought to himself, finally, you were within his grasp, compelling him to relax and savour the present.
His hands moulded to the curves of your hips as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, maintaining a steady pressure that kept you securely in place against him.
"Can I get a kiss?" You inquired with a smile, growing more empathetic as you observed him letting go of tension and in response, Al Haitham lifted his head from your shoulder, tilting it slightly to allow you to take the initiative and claim what you asked for.
His gaze locked onto yours, time standing still as he anticipated the gradual descent of your lips; and when they finally met, he couldn't help but release a contented moan, sinking deeper into the chair while pulling you closer in a tight embrace.
"Have you eaten yet?" You asked after you pulled away.
"No, but I could work up an appetite if you'll let me" He suggests with a lazy smirk, subtly adjusting beneath you, letting you feel the tension building and restraining against his pants.
It's not like you were going to deny him considering it's been a while since you've had him present, needy, and all to yourself, but your worry for his well-being took priority, especially upon noticing the dark circles beneath his calculating eyes and the paleness of his skin. Your fingers danced across his cheeks; observing the features of his face that you feared were slipping from memory and traced over them with precise attention, swallowing harshly when you felt the hardness of his erection momentarily distract you from what was meant to be your sweet moment.
Al Haitham was slowly losing his control under the weight of your attention whether he wanted to or not, but it was happening regardless.
"Yes, no? I'm going to need a verbal answer from you, baby" The playful tone in his voice snaps you out of your trance-like gaze and you blink several times before looking down at him.
You nod, a hint of shyness showing— it's been a while, and if your urgency wasn't clear in your eyes it certainly was in the way you were clenching.
Al Haitham lifted himself from the chair, cradling you in his arms. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and he placed his hand beneath you for added support. He positions you on his desk, paying no mind to the papers scattered across the oak surface. His obligations to his reports are completely forgotten as your arms wrap around his neck and pull him down to meet you halfway. Your pupils dilate with desire when he sweetly captures your mouth in heart fluttering kiss.
"Answer, need an answer..." He reminds you firmly, pulling back only enough for you to reply. He's unwilling to proceed without your clear consent and you have to admit it only turns you on even more. The way his fingers tap against your thigh with an itch to insert themselves within you; the way his eyes fixed unwaveringly on yours, masking the struggle to restrain; and the way he attempts to quiet his breaths knowing you saw right through it.
With a sly expression, you purse your lips and shift your gaze to focus on his hips.
"I'm not trying to-"
Al Haitham exhales, resting his hands on the desk on each side of your legs and tilting his face to align with yours.
“You’re in no position to tease baby" He says, swiftly gliding one hand along your thigh until the warmth of his touch cups your colds through your pants eliciting a sharp inhale from you as your eyes meet his gaze.
"Fair enough" He cuts you off sharply, "If you want to play, I'll play" He steps back and your eyes widen at the abrupt separation and departure of his warmth. Al Haitham brushes a hand through his hair and it leaves you shaken at the sight that remains— a tousled mess of grey hair falling haphazardly over his eyes that reconnect with yours in an instant.
"You're adding to my workload," He chuckles, "And here I thought showing up early would grant me unfettered access without a formal request"
"I didn't say a word," You find yourself compelled to defend, your lower lip on the verge of protruding in a pout.
"Exactly, sweetheart. You haven't said anything yet" With a teasing smile, he tilts his head and flicks your forehead. "And what's with the shyness? Can't bring yourself to say you want me? Or has my absence dulled your attraction to me?"
"Get back on your high horse, will you" You snort, seizing his hand and yanking him back firmly between your legs. "You know that's impossible! Rather, your absence has made me realize just how incredibly attracted to you I am. I've missed you"
"Oh really, has your pussy missed me too?"
"Al Haitham..."
"Don't Al Haitham me. If it weren't for this sudden shyness, my fingers would be buried in you right now."
"No one's stopping you"
"You're not giving me permission" He insists, "Need you to use your words and that pretty mouth of yours to say you want me to fuck you"
You do want to say them but they can't find their way out of your mouth.
Al Haitham, a patient man, traces your neckline with soft almost imperceptible kisses, giving you the time and space to gather the courage to confess the words both he and you needed for release. "It's just a few simple words" He mutters, kissing your jaw with a recurring motion until it reddens. When he's satisfied, he shifts to another spot and repeats the process. He's aware it pulls you deeper into a haze of desire, but, above all, he understands it instils a bit more confidence into your soul. Al Haitham has taken note that in his absence, the efforts he invested in boosting your confidence and boldness with him seem to have gradually faded, and now, he's once again determined to restore them, just as he did before.
His thumb lingers on the pulse of your neck, his kisses never ceasing as he leaves behind a mark of his missing for you with his lips. But when a needy whimper slips from you, he stops, a fox-like smirk appearing.
"Al Haitham," Your gentle voice whispers. "Please"
"Almost there" He encourages, "Use your words"
You comply, your knees trembling and your heart sinking as the ache pulsates painfully between your legs. "I want you"
You want him like you've never wanted him before, and the profound satisfaction that envelopes him is inexplicable as his eyes darken with the emergence of his lust washing over him like a tidal wave. Without warning, he tugs you closer to the edge of the desk and drives his tongue into your mouth whilst his fingers slip past the waistband of your pants, ushering both that and your panties down in one swift motion.
There's no time to wait, not an ounce of restraint left in him. He has you and he has your permission and he sees nothing but fucking you right in his mind.
It is but a single finger that teases your entrance, tracing the contours before gradually slipping in entirely drawing forth a gasp as another is added. His fingers begin to work at your clit expertly and your cunt clenches pathetically at the feeling. Al Haitham lowers your back onto his desk, causing papers to crumple and scatter but he could care less. Right now it's you, and only you.
The noises that escape your throat are embarrassingly guttural but you couldn't care less when the pleasure is so intensely gratifying that it transports you to blissful heights. You spread your legs further for him and he's satisfied with your actions enough to add a third finger.
"Missed this" He mumbles with furrowed brows, deeply concentrated, savouring the way your legs tremble because of him. "I've been neglecting you, haven't I?"
You struggle to discern his words as your body instinctively rises from the desk, responding to the touch of his finger as it finds your clit and gently presses against the pulsating, hardened bud.
"Rarely get to see you when I return home. And this damned job has me leaving for work before I can hold you and kiss you goodbye in the mornings"He exhales deeply, his breaths heavy, frustration evident in the movement of his fingers within your core, creating a wet, loud, and lewd squelching sound.
"Al Haitham!!" You gasped loudly as you cum hard, a screech echoing as your arms wrap around his shoulders seeking support. Your nails dig into his shoulder with a sensation that is palpable even beneath his shirt and the leg you have draped around his waist stiffens. His hand cradles your thigh, keeping you close as you descend from your initial climax. Cupping the side of your face with his clean hand, he leans down, pressing a kiss to your fatigued, parted lips.
Al Haitham withdraws his fingers from your core, maintaining eye contact with your lidded eyes as he brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean.
"Is your back okay?" He asks attentively, helping you to sit up. "Do you want to move to the bedroom?"
"Please, if that's okay with you" You mumbled with a weak smile, the remainder of pleasure coursing through your veins like a potent drug rendering your sanity momentarily lost. Al Haitham acknowledges with a nod and lifts you off the desk bridal style, kicking his chair aside before carrying you towards your bedroom with ease and your head drops, finding a resting place against his chest, listening to the irregular beat of his heart.
"I really missed you"
Al Haitham glances down at you with a smile, "I've missed you more" He gently places you on the mattress, and you audibly moan at the softness beneath you, appreciating the slight cold chill of the blankets compared to the hard wooden desk in his office.
"Keep moaning like that and you'll find yourself unable to walk for the rest of the week"
"No objections" You yawned, "but you've been gone long enough Haitham, and I just had a longed awaited and deserved orgasm on a hard as fuck desk, let me moan over the softness of our bed in peace"
"Moan for me then" He says your name in such a seductive manner you feel inclined to close your exposed legs but of course he's not having any of it as he forces them back open with his hand.
Without breaking eye contact, Al Haitham proceeds to toy with the ends of his shirt before deftly pulling it over his head, tossing it aside, and revealing the sight of clenched muscles that ripple along the expanse of his abdomen. Once more, it seems like an eternity since you've witnessed him in this way, and you can't resist seizing the opportunity to revel in the view. Both of your hands rest on his shoulders, gliding down his arms to explore the well-defined bulge of his biceps. Al Haitham deems it's your turn next and starts to unbutton your shirt. Buttons pop one by one until only your bra remains.
Wrapping his other arm around you, he yanks your body against his and crashes his lips onto yours. His hands roamed all over your body with vitality until they lastly gripped onto your hips.
"This has to go" He smirks, playfully pulling at your bra, and as you lean up, he swiftly unclasps it and flings it onto the floor.
As he crawls over you, his eyes lock onto your breasts and with a sudden force he snakes your hips to pull you against his erection, and you moan at the pressure it applies. "You're taking too long" You sighed, fanning your cheeks to cool down as sweat accumulated on your forehead. No further words were necessary as he discarded his pants and swiftly positioned himself at your entrance. Upon your request to hurry things along, he mumbled something almost inaudible before thrusting his entire length into your cunt, and you're singing his praises and calling his name as tears well in your eyes, the sting of taking him whole without easing into it lingering as he buries himself between your walls.
The pleasure derived from his movements overwhelms you, they compel your hand to grasp the back of his head, fingers tangling into his hair to provide a sense of grounding while the other clutches the sheets unyielding. Your body arches in reaction, your pelvis raising to meet his every thrust.
A sharp, almost pained breath echoed from him as he closed his eyes to savour the feeling. "Fuck" He curses aloud, a moan amplifying as he hums with pleasure at your tightness and you tremble against him. you hadn't anticipated the need to readjust to having him, and without a gradual entry, you were even more astonished by the sudden sense of fullness.
Al Haitham angles his hips to perfectly reach your pleasure point, dragging the head of his cock over your g-spot. He rolls his cock all the way and pounds your cervix without mercy.
"I can't"
"Al Haitham," You exclaim amidst a mix of moans and groans as your head throws back against the pillows.
"Slow down, please"
It's a miracle the words emerge comprehensible but your beloved partner is unabashed, accelerating the pace and panting as he pursues euphoria.
"Yes, you can" He pants, eyes pinching together as you clench down on him hard. He shoves your hips down onto the mattress and thrusts into you relentlessly. With each press of his body against yours, your moans grow louder and you squirm in an attempt to evade the fevor in each of his movements, wanting a moment to catch your breath, but he persists and pushes in and out repetitively, his pace and sense of rhythm reinforcing after every stride.
"Can't hold on-" He grunts, his eyes rolling back.
His muscles are taut, and his biceps bulging as he looms above you. "Want me to pull out?" He feels compelled to ask despite having trouble breathing and feeling as though he might collapse.
Tears fill your eyes and run down your face as you urgently shake your head. "In me" You plead, "In me, please. Missed you enough, Haitham.." He clenches his teeth, responding to your pleas with thrusts – once, twice, a third time – and on the fourth thrust, he releases, his climax flowing into you. Your orgasm follows seconds later with a wild cry, and your cum gushes out more and more, blending with his, like the exchanged saliva and mingled sweat. Together, with a gasp your bodies cave. “Breathe baby, breathe. I’m right here.” He coaxed as your arousal seeped out and coated his balls, some escaping the embrace and staining the bed sheets.
You slump against the bed, your thighs weary and pleading for reprieve. Al Haitham reluctantly withdraws from you, forced to do so when his arms threaten to surrender, and so to avoid the risk of crushing you he slips out with a grumble and collapses flat on the bed beside you.
"That felt good" He exhales in relief, arm resting behind his head as he looks at the ceiling and you agree. Your chest rises and falls, marked by the aftermath of two orgasms and the happiness of having him with you at this moment. You tilt your head to the side and Al Haitham does the same to meet your gaze, you exchange a smile and extend your hand for him to hold. He clasps your hand in his and brings it to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles.
The moment is sweeteningly blissful and would have remained that way for a while longer had the rumble of his stomach not shaken the room causing you to stifle a laugh as he glares at you playfully.
"Hungry?"
"No"
"You sure?" You giggled, lifting yourself into a seated position with difficulty.
"No" He shifts onto his side, propping himself up on his forearm as he gazes at you.
"Well─ I didn't cook today because I was out, assuming you wouldn't be home, but I can—"
"But nothing," He interrupts with a languid smile, "I can cook tonight. All I ask of you is your undivided attention, that okay?"
You hesitate to agree, and Al Haitham understands your silence well enough to recognize your contemplation. Your reluctance arises from your fondness for tending to him, especially as it has been a while since you shared a meal. But as you think a little more, you begin to feel a numbing sensation creeping up your leg making you realize you're probably not in the best condition to safely enter the kitchen. Thus, you give in and let him have his way, at least for tonight.
Your sigh and hesitant nod signal you're finally complying. "Good girl. Let's get you cleaned up first" Al Haitham praises as he propels himself onto his elbows to gently peck your lips before rising from the bed. Scooping you into his arms once more, he plants yet another kiss on your forehead this time and continues to carry you to the bathroom, eager to lavish you with all his attention to compensate for the time he's missed.
Al Haitham settles you back onto your feet once in the bathroom with a hand on your lower back for support. Once you assure him you can manage to stand for a few minutes on your own, he instructs you to pee while he fetches a fresh pair of towels for both of you and makes a second trip after that to fetch the dirty sheets and shove them into the laundry basket to have cleaned tomorrow.
"You holding up?" He asked amidst the droning sound of the flushed chain, his voice nearly drowned out entirely but fortunately you caught it and hummed cheerfully, "Better than ever. And you?" He makes his way to you and you loop your arms around his neck as he effortlessly lifts you off the basin countertop. Together─ in his arms, you step into the perfectly heated shower.
"Perfect" He admits with an oddly loud contented sigh, gently lathering your body with a mesh body scrub that moves in circular motions around your breasts, over your stomach, along your back, and down and between your legs, combined with the warmth of the water and the evaporating steam, you notice your congested nose gradually clearing and your tense, aching muscles starting to relax. He is constantly mindful of the pressure he applies while cleaning your body, aware of its sensitivity and you're grateful for such an attentive partner as it only motivates you to reciprocate with even more care for him.
The process of cleansing each other unfolds in tranquillity, the soothing white noise of water pattering from the shower head calming your senses. Al Haitham washes your body, and then you return the favour, repeating the same with your hair until you both finish and then takes the towel and wraps it around your body first before tying another around his lower half. This time, instead of carrying you, you insist on walking as the discomfort between your legs has lessened enough after the shower, making it feel less like they might give in at any given moment.
Al Haitham is amused by your stubbornness and plays along, his hand falling onto your waist as he guides you to sit on the edge of the bed.
"It's a bit hot" He mutters to himself, sliding your panties up your legs as you hold onto his bare shoulder. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to wear pants to bed or not, so I didn't take any out."
"It's okay, Haitham," You chuckle, picking up on his attention to even the smallest details.
"Your shirt will suffice," You slip your arms through the holes of the sleep shirt he laid out for you, noting that it was specifically his.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly has been keeping you so occupied at the Akademiya?"
Once you're mostly taken care of, Al Haitham crosses the room to rummage through his drawers for a pair of pants, throwing them on before searching through another set for a golden tub of ointment to soothe the scratches adorning his back from your hands.
He practically skips back to you with a towel in hand, "Haven't done your hair yet, but could you dry mine for me first so I can start on dinner?"
It's adorable how his eagerness doesn't show on his face, but in the way he doesn't exactly wait for a reply, shifting you upper onto the bed and settling between your legs.
"You tend to forget that this is the typical nature of most humans, Dear" You smile with amusement, noting the hint of irritation when he looks at you with an expression that distinctly conveys 'I know, but still', as he rises from the floor and flops onto the bed ready for you to apply the ointment to the faint red marks that were slowly deepening in color.
"Well- there was an unexpected disagreement among a group of scholars which caused a stir at the Akademiya. People, being naturally nosy were easily drawn away from their duties for some time and inevitably I was dragged in as the situation demanded 'careful mediation', as they put it, even though I was inclined to simply ignore it and exit the room leaving them to hash out their differences" He emphasized with an undertone of annoyance, and while he converses, you attentively listen, simultaneously twisting the towel around his hair and gently dabbing and squeezing until most of the water is absorbed.
"Pray tell, what purpose lies in dragging out a trivial dispute for weeks on end and then taking an additional week to resolve it? Does it truly bring any advantages? If anything, it has significantly set me back in handling a majority of reports and applications."
"It's not particularly new or surprising considering that our entire existence is moulded by our emotions, including— perhaps mostly—the negative aspects. Our love for dramatics and our inclination to involve ourselves in other's affairs. Living a simplistic life is not hard at all but shedding these negative aspects and common flaws are where the challenge lies. Consequently, we often end up causing a disturbance for everyone involved" Your words are laced with experience from observations made over the years of dealing with people.
"Either way, I despise it" He grumbled, burying his face into the clean sheets while your fingers glide smoothly over your handiwork. "Don't want to talk anymore about work"
His irritation is so endearing that you can't resist running your hands through his hair and giving him a soothing scalp massage.
"You're home for now," You said, "Focus just on that, mhm?"
"Yeah... Shit... Forgot about dinner" He mutters, suddenly recollecting, and then he pushes himself up to leave the bed.
"Haitham..." He glances at you through the corner of his eyes and your arms are open waiting for his embrace. He abandons his objective of leaving the room to cook and walks into your embrace.
You know because he wasn't home much he wanted to do the cooking and look after you for a change, but seeing the sudden decline in his mood, you refused to leave him to fall into the shell of which his burdens threatened to crush.
"We can prepare dinner together, and then tomorrow, you're going to stay home and take a proper rest."
He doesn't protest. There are no inquiries or remarks about how the Akademiya requires him urgently, especially with the impending entrance exams for new applicants, or the fact that they are mere weeks away from hosting an exposition at newly discovered ruins – a questionable idea in his opinion. Allowing the locals to be present around the sacred remnants of the old didn't sit well with him, but with the majority in favour, Al Haitham felt compelled to let them proceed. Instead, your beloved nods, burying his head into your shoulder, expressing his gratitude for your existence, your love, and your constant unwavering care.
It may no longer be the simplistic life he desires, but maybe this life, with all its challenges and complexities, isn't entirely unfavourable when he always has you behind him, beside him, and waiting for him.
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☣ copyright @archonsabyss all rights reserved // do not copy; steal; plagiarize; reword or repost my works to any other platform! No translations!! All credits to original owners of characters/anime/pictures that are not my own!
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pearlzier · 2 months
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it was incredibly hard for matt to focus on painting your nails when you were staring at him like that. it's not even your fault! you're just looking at him, since what else are you to look at, and he's making such a big deal out of it. your brow furrows a tiny bit, playfully, as he grumbles under his breath about ‘your pretty face’, and you can't help but mumble a response—“what was that?”
his blue eyes lift to yours and his brow cocks upward, like he didn't say anything. “huh? nothing, sit still for me,” he said that under the guise that you'd forget hearing what he'd said.
well, you didn't. “something about my pretty face, perhaps?” you flicker your eyes over his face as a giggle slips past your lips, and the eyeroll that comes from matt only tells you everything you needed to know. “do you have something you need to tell the class, mister sturniolo?”
a childish scoff escaped him and he gave you a little cheeky grin, rolling his shoulders in a shrug soon after. “you keep starin’ at me,” he starts, “s'a lot.”
“a lot?” your tone is so incredulous it makes him giggle. so he nods, biting back another giggle at your raised brows that meet his gaze. “how is me looking at you a lot?”
matt feels the need to correct you, “staring, not lookin’. fuckin’ thousand yard stare,” he smiles a little more at the way you laugh at his words. “m'bein’ honest! don't laugh at me. when you laugh, you move your hands. how m'i supposed to paint ‘em like this?” he huffs at your giggling, although it's very clearly playful.
“fine, fine, sorry,” you offer your hand out, watching as he applied the polish gently but skillfully. he was probably one of the only people you trusted to paint your nails, besides the nail techs at your local salon. first of all, matt was good eye candy. and he was committed to the job. “never seen you so focused,” he looks at you through his lashes for a faint moment, before he returns to looking at your nails.
“i'd be even more focused if you kept your mouth shut,” he retorted almost instantly, giggling at his own words. your mouth falls open, comically wide, and you splutter for a response which doesn't actually come, which results in matt bursting into laughter. and a bit of stray nail polish coating your finger. “oh, motherfucker.”
“if i die—”
“it's because i'd have killed you,” matt presses a kiss to your forehead, making his way past to go grab a wipe, and perhaps also a tissue in case he needs to use nail polish remover. as he passes back over, you impulsively give him a pat on the ass like you're a car salesman; he glances over at you for a moment, expression unamused. “you're not funny.”
“i so am,” you hum, giggling as he sits back down in front of you with an exaggerated sigh. he brings your finger closer to him so he can wipe it down. your eyes focus on him once more, and this time, he lifts his gaze to meet yours gently.
he smiles once more, sighing when he comes to the realisation you won't actually stop staring. “think you got a staring issue, babe,” matt's voice is warm, and he gives you a little nudge with his shoulder. “oh, finished by the way.”
you were a little preoccupied with responding to the accusations, when you in fact did realise he was finished. a gasp escaped you, and your gaze lifted back to his again—“since when?”
“were too busy starin’ to realise,” matt sat back in his chair, popping the lid back onto the nail polish. until he saw that look in your eyes and he scooted his chair back instantly. “absolutely not.”
“matt,” the moment your hand reached for the nail polish, and then his, he practically ran. “come back!” you whine, and he's literally gone to hide from you doing his nails.
“i don't trust you with nail polish!” knowing you, you'd end up snorting it and getting high. or getting him high.
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yoona-jnr · 3 months
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The One That Got Away - By Katy Perry (CHAPTER TWO)
Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x Female Reader
Prompt: "In another life maybe?" You mumble to the beast who clicked his tongue in return. Perhaps, he thought in his head.
A time when you first met.
Tags: Fluff, canon based plot with a slight change by the author (Cute Add-on: The Kimono he’s significantly known for is something that you gave him.)
Previous Chapter
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Several days have passed since Sukuna last came face to face with you, and during this period, he has built up quite a notorious reputation for being responsible for Itadori’s death. Though initially he hadn’t thought of doing anything to fix it, the thought of never seeing you again annoyed him. “You could also say we’re in my mind. In other words..” Sukuna looks down at Yuji, watching the way he puffs his cheeks in an effort to prevent accidentally swallowing any of the liquid beneath him. “-we’re not dead yet. If you accept my conditions, I’ll fix your heart and bring us back to life.” – “Cocky bastard,” Yuji mutters, clicking his tongue. “You act all big, but I know you don’t want to die either.”
“The situation’s changed. In the near future, I’ll be able to see something interesting.” Sukuna thinks back to the moment he encounters you for a second time during his fight with Megumi, unaware of the grin that gradually spreads across his face. “I’d also like to investigate something further.” Itadori raises an eyebrow. “Investigate what? (Name)-san?” – “I have two conditions,” he states firmly, interrupting him before he could ask more. “One: when I chant ‘extension,’ you’ll hand over your body for one minute. Two: you’ll forget this promise.”
Itadori’s voice reverberated through the domain, a blend of uncertainty and frustration evident in his eyes. “No way, not after the shit you pulled. I’m not lending you my body again.” Sukuna, unimpressed, rolls his eyes in response. “Very well, then I’ll promise that I won’t kill or injure anyone during that minute,” he grumbles with exasperation. “Such a bothersome fool.”
You relax by the riverside, your feet dipping into the cool water as you let out a soft hum. Kazuyuki, who has been fishing nearby with his spear, glances in your direction, his lower body immersed in the flowing river. “I’m done,” he announces, wading towards you with purposeful strides through the gentle current. “I caught enough to feed both our families for at least a day,” he told you, his voice filled with pride. 
You respond with a smile, acknowledging his efforts. “That’s wonderful! I wish I could do something to help..” Your friend, with a gentle smile on his handsome face, shakes his head in refusal. “There’s no need for you to worry. I promised your father that I would take care of you. All you need to do is rely on me.” Despite feeling grateful for his support, you can’t help but wish you had the chance to take on some tasks yourself. However, every time you attempt to do so, your own family members always intervened, insisting that certain responsibilities were not suitable for women. 
“Are you coming along? Or do you plan on staying here for a while longer?” Kazuyuki asks the second he’s out of the water, wasting no time in drying his feet on the grass. “I’ll stay for a little longer, but I’ll be back before they notice,” you assure him.
He walks past you, playfully tapping your forehead along the way. “You better be, otherwise your Mom will go crazy and scold me again,” he warns with a chuckle. “Okay, okay.”
Waving him goodbye, you laugh and bid him farewell. He’d always cover for you whenever you wanted to extend your time outside, even though you never really had a specific reason other than to observe the gentle ripples of the river and the occasional passing animals. It was nice having him around. 
Will your family pressure you into marrying him? Not that you minded, you have known Kazuyuki for a long time and he has been a constant source of support since the passing of your father. But.. there was always a certain element missing whenever you considered the idea of developing romantic feelings for him. Perhaps he was too kind? Or maybe your taste in men was just questionable? You’re unsure of the reason.
As your mind continues to drift, time slips away unnoticed. The sensation of the crystal-clear water caressing your legs brings you a sense of comfort, one that easily soothes your anxieties. Have you unknowingly developed a routine of sitting here until dusk?
In the past, you and your father would spend evenings here, relishing in the tranquility of the night and reveling in the emergence of fireflies. This place has always been a haven of serenity, devoid of any lurking threats in the darkness. It’s no surprise that Kazuyuki never objected whenever you wanted to stay longer.
-SPLASH
Your thoughts are disturbed by the sound of something struggling in the water a few meters ahead of you. ‘Ah-’ You rapidly stand up, watching as the bunny fights to keep its head afloat.
It’s not like you didn’t know how to swim; you were rather good at it. But, knowing this river by heart, it was deep in the center. An area that even your friend from earlier avoided trespassing. Was this how your night was gonna end? Either walk away and let the bunny drown, or even drown beside it? Luckily for you, the river had always maintained a constant flow, never picking up speed despite the change in season.
Curse you and your love for animals.
After some time, you finally manage to reach the opposite bank of the river, immediately exerting your remaining energy to hoist yourself out. You knew you could have easily swum across if it weren’t for the biting coldness of the water, but of course, tonight just had to be the night that the weather began to lower in temperature. 
Letting out a sigh, you slowly loosen your embrace around the creature, expecting to see it peacefully huddled up against your stomach.
What you saw however, was far from what you had thought in mind.
There, it lay motionless on your lap with a deep gash that stretches across its stomach- Its blood flowing out as it stains your white dress. “Wh-?!” Overwhelmed with fear, you release the lifeless animal and instinctively retreat, leaving your hands smeared with mud from your frantic backward crawl.
“Tsk.” A disapproving sound reaches your ears from behind, causing your panic to come to a stop. A person? Out in these woods? Slowly, you pivot your head around, anticipating the sight of a stranger, someone human, only to be confronted by two pairs of eyes fixed on you from the shadows.
Before you can even let out a startled cry, he emerges from the woods, his massive, muscular frame fully visible under the moon’s gentle glow. “What sort of idiot would dive into a river for a mere creature?” he questions, propping one of his four arms beneath his chin as he surveys your distressed state, capturing every detail of your horrified expression in his mind. “I commend your courage, but your recklessness overshadows it all.” 
“I-” Your gaze shifts back to the lifeless bunny lying on its side, a pool of blood slowly seeping from its belly. “It’s dead, I thought-” Just as you begin to express your disbelief, your attention is diverted to the sound of his steps coming closer, his presence commanding your full attention. With a firm grip, he forcefully grasps your chin, compelling you to meet his piercing gaze. “-that you could save it?” You nod. It was impossible to ignore the intricate tattoos that adorned his skin, his bare upper body on full display. From your vantage point, he appears almost godlike, bathed in the ethereal glow of the moon, his features illuminated in a way that accentuates his otherworldly aura. 
Sukuna observes the way your countenance softens, -softens? He furrows his brows in confusion. With a tilt of his head, he asks, “Do you have any idea who I am, you fool?” As he applies more pressure with his fingers, the expression of fear returns to your face, almost amusing him to the point of laughter.
From the way you part your lips to the curious look in your eyes, it was obvious that you were unaware of his identity. He swiftly withdraws his hand, causing you to lose your balance momentarily. “Consider yourself lucky as I am feeling generous today, leave before I change my mind,” he declares, turning his back to you completely.
Though afraid, you build up the courage to respond, fearing that the freezing water might hinder you from safely swimming back. “But-” His audible sigh interrupts you, compelling you to lower your gaze from him. “..I don’t think I can go back. The water’s too cold and I-”
However, the moment you lift your eyes from the ground, you find yourself staring at his back from the opposite side of the river.
What?
.
.
.
Your mind struggles to connect the dots. Weren’t you a few feet away from him just a second ago? He doesn’t give you a moment to react before he starts walking away, shrugging off your pleas for him to wait.
“Thank you!” you yell, watching as he disappears into the dense forest. Never before had you encountered a man who resembled him. Was he even human? Could you even consider him one? Then again, you refrain from passing further judgment, considering that you live in an era where sorcery was quite prevalent. It was plausible that he too possessed magical abilities, especially with what had occurred just now.
-
That was the first time he had ever crossed paths with you. Nearly every night, you constantly stayed out late, secretly crossing to the other side of the river using a boat you had convinced Kazuyuki to position by the shore prior to your plan. Questions of who he was, and what kind of power he had, urged you to keep coming back despite his lack of appearance. Never once showing up after that one fateful night. 
Was it your Family’s Cursed Technique that he could sense from you what made him prolong the action of wreaking havoc to your village? Or was it your curiosity that makes you overlook the potential danger in order to meet someone who appeared as monstrous as he did. Whichever it was, he’d be lying if he said that watching you frantically make attempts to see him again wasn’t entertaining, not that he’d ever admit it. After all, It was almost too pitiful to look at. 
On the twelfth night, he emerges, scoffing to himself at the way your face illuminates with sheer delight upon catching a glimpse of his figure. Although he has encountered numerous individuals who initially react in a similar manner, their expressions quickly transform into terror once they recognize him as Ryomen Sukuna, the formidable ruler of curses.
Naturally, their admiration proves to be short-lived as they inevitably inquire about his name, prompting them to flee in fear. Though, their attempts to escape were futile, for they soon became a macabre feast for other curses, their lifeless bodies strewn across the ground. 
Your gentle voice pierced through the silence as he drew nearer. “It’s you, I thought I’d never see you again,” you confess. He cocks a brow, finally coming to a conclusion that you really must be stupid. “And, well-” You take a step back, nervously adjusting the bag you had brought with you. “As a token of my gratitude, I wanted to offer you something.”
Ah,
Sukuna grins sadistically, relishing in the anticipation of your reaction once you finally realize who he truly was- Would you scream like the rest? Or would you stand there in shock, unable to mutter a single word. 
You take out what seemed like only fabric from your bag, Was this all you had to offer him? Ridiculous.  -making sure to clean off any dirt that may have gathered while you were occupied with rowing the boat. “It’s nothing much, but I hope this is okay.” What would you do if he were to rip it apart right before your eyes? He licks his lips, the idea alone causing him to clench his fist in an attempt to stay calm.
However, as you carefully unfold the layers of fabric, a beautifully crafted white kimono adorned with delicate blue trimmings is revealed, causing his train of thought to come to a halt. “As a kid, my mom used to teach me how to make these.” In that moment, a perplexed expression replaces his previous demeanor as you proudly exhibit the garment. “-and I thought since I didn’t see you wearing anything that night, I should make one for you as a thank you gift for helping me cross the river. It might not fit too well, but I made sure it was open sleeved, that way you can just have it over your shoulder if you don’t wanna wear it properly.” 
.
.
.
A heavy silence enveloped the space between the two of you, intensifying the eerie ambiance created by the distant sound of crickets chirping in the background. Does he not like it? You frown, your confidence from before slowly being chipped away from the sight of his brows furrowing. Doubts crept into your mind, wondering if he disliked the gesture you had made. Perhaps his lack of response was intentional, a deliberate choice on his part. The realization made you feel foolish and self-conscious. “It’s fine if you don’t want it, I’ll just bring it back home,” in an attempt to rectify the situation, you hastily try to stuff the kimono back into your bag. 
“No need.” You meet his gaze once more, uncertainty vanishing from the sight of one of his hands stretching out. The commanding tone in his voice as he utters the words, “Hand it over,” left no room for argument. 
Perhaps he’ll entertain you a little longer.
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Next Chapter
Author’s Note: I rushed this shit so it’s not as good as the previous chapter. (Sorry for that, had to deal with some assignments from college) The next one will be way better. Just wanted to make a cute head-canon of how you gave him his well-known Kimono that he still wears.
Tag list: @arysbruv @anakinishotdoe @enyathedrakaina @anmath @lannabarroso @sanrolii
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houserautha · 21 days
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These Destined Ends
Part Thirteen
Summary: Jessica fulfilled the wishes of the Bene Gesserits to produce a daughter. You’re now burdened with the task of not only marrying the na-Baron, but also bearing his child — the Kwisatz Haderach. Will you take your fate into your own hands? Or will it always belong to those who control you?
Pairings: Feyd-Rautha x F!Reader
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: poorly timed erections, humiliation kink, cockwarming, you spit in his mouth, unprotected sex, unnecessary angst
Summary: I’m not super happy with this chapter. I wanted to go into detail with the Gom Jabbar scene but I couldn’t get any words out😂 so I skipped ahead to the smut part I wanted to write. Big things happening next chapter👀
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The doors to the study burst open.
You look up from your spot nearby. Patience was not your strong suit, and you had grown bored while waiting for the Reverend Mother to administer the Gom Jabbar. Confusion flickers through you as you quickly assess the Reverend Mother's hastened steps.
"How did it go?" You ask, craning your neck to see into the study. Though you hardly thought Feyd would actually succumb to the test, it still worried you, and you feared you would see his body slumped on the floor.
"Never in my life," the Reverend Mother mutters. She stops in front of you. "The na-Baron is human, it seems, but not a man. Not like any that I've ever known."
You blink stupidly, her form retreating before you can even inquire about what she meant. She had been insistent that you weren't in the room with them and clearly she did not want to recall what you missed. She didn't even adhere to her usual courtesies of formal manners, scurrying away without even a backward glance.
Curiosity grows like a vine, winding up around you and inspiring you to creep into the study, unsure about what to expect. "Feyd?"
Your gaze sweeps the room. There's no jumble of limbs to suggest that he perished under the Gom Jabbar, which alleviates your fears slightly.
Finally you spot him, reclined in one of the plush chairs that had been pushed aside to make room for the assessment. Afternoon shadows cast him in a strange light, mostly hidden except for the faintest outline of his body.
"Feyd? What is she talking about?" You cross the room to him.
"That witch's test had...unexpected results."
"But you passed it?"
"Would I be here if I didn't?" He asks.
"No." You allow your eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, so different from outside of the study where you had waited. "What —?"
The words die in your throat.
Feyd sits, infuriatingly regal, in the chair, legs spread wide and arms draped on either side of the curved back. You notice for the first time his very obvious erection, straining against his pants and sufficiently flushing you with a perverse mixture of desire and shame.
"Feyd-Rautha," you gasp out, baffled.
"She thought she could deter me with pain, but clearly she is not as intelligent as she believes."
You hiss back, "You are abhorrent."
"Perhaps." He inclines his chin. "Show me."
His words pull behind your navel, the familiar tugging answer to his call. An image of Feyd, poison needle to his neck, deriving pleasure from the box entrapping his hand, flashes through your mind. No wonder the Reverend Mother was so horrified. It brings the slightest of grins to your face, and a subsequent wave of affection for the twisted, beautiful man before you.
"Show you what?" You ask coyly.
His voice is silk, red wine, life's greatest pleasures gliding over your skin. "Just how abhorrent you find me."
You close the space between you. Feyd keeps his gaze trained on you as you insert yourself between his legs, leaning down to work the fasten of his pants. Cock liberated, it springs up, red and  pulsing. It invokes a low, savage growl from him when you pointedly ignore his hardened length in favor of your own wanton needs, gathering your skirts in one hand while dipping the other down to your cunt. His cock twitches in response.
"So abhorrent that I don't know if you deserve this pussy," you murmur to him. "You disgust me. Why would I even want to fuck you?"
Feyd's jaw clenches and he wraps his fist at the base of his cock. "Shit."
Emboldened, you keep the steady rhythm of your own self-pleasure, sneering at your husband.
"People have perished under the Gom Jabbar and yet it arouses you, the unspeakable pain enticing your cock. You should be ashamed of yourself." Feyd gasps out, stroking himself. There's a dark intensity in his eyes. You realize that he craves this from you, needs to hear you flay him with your tongue. "Look how hard you are. You're pathetic."
His head rolls back, exposing the pale column of his throat. Your fingers hitch and you inhale at the sight of him like this. Wound tight with want, you remove your hand and climb into his lap. Feyd is only too eager to accommodate you, pushing his hips up in an effort to drive his cock into you, hands grabbing for your waist.
"Don't touch me," you snarl at him, swatting him away. Feyd whimpers. "You think I want your hands on me after what you did?"
A keening sound splits the room as you slip the swollen head of his cock between your folds, a display of his frustration — you keep still, refusing to provide the friction that he is so desperate for. He fills you thoroughly, stretching you until you feel you might burst, and you have to fight the urge to roll your hips against his.
"Don't do this," he snarls at you.
"What? Punish you? You practically asked for it, dear husband."
You sit on his cock, unmoving. He stares back at you with contempt, fingers digging into the arms of the chair. When he looks at you like this, like you are some unobtainable treasure, you might as well be seated on a throne. And, you suppose, it is an honor to have him buried to the hilt in your cunt, this man who has searched for pleasure in others, in violence, and now clings to you like none of it compares.
"Please," Feyd breathes out.
"Don't talk to me," you snap, shifting your hips just the slightest bit. His eyes flash. "But since you're so eager to use your mouth."
You grab hold of his jaw, squeezing tightly as you pull him closer. Despite the roughness of your grasp, it might as well be a caress, Feyd's cock flinching in response.
"Open," you instruct him, though it doesn't matter. With force, you pry apart his lips and slip your thumb inside his mouth, pressing down on his tongue and holding him in place.
It's an intoxicating experience — his hardened member resting in your cunt, his face in your hand, the pleading in his eyes as he gazes up at you. Power was addictive. You thought yourself above it, once. But all it took was the right person to hold it over.
Spittle sprays his face as you spit in his mouth.
Feyd's throat bobs. If it's possible, you swear you feel him grow harder inside you. "Close, but don't swallow," you murmur to him, revoking your thumb. Feyd obeys. At this point he's trembling with want and frustration. You remove your grip on his jaw but he keeps it lofted in the air; with more fondness than you care, you wipe the spittle from his face, the pads of your fingers swiping over the bannister of his cheekbones, his eyelids.
Finally you whisper, "You disgust me." Leaning back on your heels, you indicate for him to swallow, which he does. A smile curves your mouth. "You should be fucking grateful that I pity you. Grovel. Tell me why you deserve this."
"I don't," Feyd gasps. "I don't. I don't."
"Is that all you know how to say?" You sneer at him.
He shakes his head, desperation crossing his features. "No. I—I don't deserve you but that's..." he trails off, the words sticking in his throat like he can't quite work them out, "that's exactly why I need you."
To express your approval, you grind your hips against him. Feyd whimpers. His admission pleases you, injects you with a fervency that lifts you up on his cock and then back down. Feyd's thighs clench beneath you as you persist with the movement, steadying yourself by reaching behind him and grabbing the chair, and expletives falling from his mouth as you do.
"That's right you fucking need me," you hiss to him. You quicken your pace.
In retrospect, you should've milked the moment for all it was worth, but Feyd was already on the edge and you weren't far behind; his eyes roll back in his head as he comes, and you clamp around him, seeking your own finish. His cock softens in you. You do your best not to let any cum escape from between your thighs, vaguely grateful that its consistency is thick and doesn't normally demand much cleanup.
Smoothing the wrinkles from your dress, you ask him, "Tell me you got it."
Eyes half-lidded, Feyd gestures to the side of the chair. The Gom Jabbar rests, glinting in the dim lighting. Your gaze cuts to him.
"You didn't ask," he says, reading your mind.
"You didn't tell me it was right there?" You bark at him, bewildered. "I could've —"
The corner of his mouth twitches. "I wouldn't have let you."
You hesitate, knowing that he's right. Anger drains from you then, replaced with curiosity, and you wait for him to tuck himself back into his pants. Feyd rises to his feet.
"She didn't notice?"
"She was...distracted," Feyd says.
"And you replaced it."
"Yes."
"Good." Your gaze roams his face. "I must say I’m relieved you’re alive.”
Feyd lets out a laugh, deep and rasping. “I never thought I would hear those words from you.”
“Hopefully you don’t think less of me for it.”
“Nothing could make me think less of you,” he murmurs, then grins. “Though I might send a physician to check you for fever.”
You can’t help but laugh at this and you gently push his chest. Feyd captures your hands there, though, holding you close to him. You jest, “You’re lucky that I love you.”
Feyd’s expression shutters. Horror yawns in you, an all-consuming mouth threatening to swallow you whole. Why did you say that?
“Feyd, I —”
He takes a step away from you, dropping your hands. Even though he’s only a few inches away, a chasm might as well have opened between you. Feyd grabs the Gom Jabbar. “This needs to be taken care of.”
He brushes past you and, paralyzed with panic and disbelief, you let him.
Hours turn into days, which turn into weeks. A month. The longest glimpse you have of your husband is in passing; conveniently, a smuggler operation was uncovered the day after the Gom Jabbar, which demanded the full attention of the na-Baron. Feyd immersed himself in dismantling the enterprise. You, on the other hand, were left to the simple task of “carrying out your duty” — which, to your best understanding, meant to conceive the Kwisatz Haderach — an impossible task considering your husband refused to look at you.
You spent most of your days in your parents’ study, rifling through whatever documents were salvageable from Rabban’s raid. Most of them were meaningless to you, stocks of supplies and financial reports. But at least they kept your mind from drifting.
You’re in the study when the door opens and Feyd-Rautha steps inside, as solemn and impassive as he’s been ever since that day. Seeing him like this, so close and without distractions, pierces you like a dagger. The worst part of this whole ordeal is the fact that you missed him.
You missed his unwavering confidence, the flow of your banter, the slightest changes in his expression that only time had revealed their meaning. And, infuriatingly, you missed the sex. Missed the sear of his hands on your body, his cock in your cunt. You prayed to whoever would listen that he couldn’t see this on your face.
It definitely wouldn’t help your case after telling him that you loved him.
“The smugglers have been neutralized,” Feyd says first, breaking the silence.
You dip your chin. “I assumed they would be.”
“To celebrate this feat the Baron has requested that we host a feast with our allies, and to showcase our new rule over Arrakis.”
“Ah,” you reply. You wanted this to happen as part of your plan, but you weren’t sure what it meant now that you weren’t on speaking terms. You pause, waiting for Feyd to offer some sort of hint, but he just continues his blank stare.
Even when you first met, when you swore that he was the most wretched creature to exist, he did not treat you like this. Like you were nothing.
Courage thrums through you like a second heartbeat. “And what will your uncle, our allies, think when the na-Baron won’t even spare a glance to his wife?”
“I don’t care what they think.”
“You used to care what I thought,” you whisper back to him. Your throat works. It’s the first time you’ve uttered what you’ve been thinking. “And now you won’t even look at me, which is a punishment unlike any I’ve known.”
If it’s possible, Feyd stills even more. There’s a flicker of something behind his eyes but it’s gone before you can name it, like the glint of a fish on the surface before disappearing into the depths.
He rasps, “You don’t understand.”
“No, Feyd, I don’t understand, because you’ve been fucking avoiding me,” you growl. “So why don’t you enlighten me?”
His jaw clenches. “This isn’t the time.”
“If it’s up to you, it will never be.” You stand and cross your arms. “Just tell me. Then we can fuck until you get me pregnant and we’ll never have to speak to each other again.”
Feyd just stares evenly at you. You think that he might never speak but when he does, his voice is so low you can barely hear it. “This isn’t…this isn’t because I don’t…reciprocate…your feelings.”
He chokes out each word. Still your heart flutters traitorously.
“If what you said is true, then I am a liability to you. I am not meant for…I just wanted to give you time to think,” he finishes awkwardly. “Love is a weakness. It’s messy. It complicates things.”
“If you haven’t noticed, everything about us is complicated,” you reply, laughing bitterly. You feel your features soften. “That doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re wrong to love me, jewel.” He steps towards you, and you realize that there’s a startling vulnerability to his face, nearly childlike in its sincerity. A boy pleading for the care that he never received. “I will only hurt you.”
A wistful smile tugs at your mouth. “You’ve hurt me many times already, and yet I’m still here.”
“You’re a fool.”
“I know.” This time you’re the one to inch closer, bridging the gap between you. You can hear Feyd’s breath hitch. “Don’t hide from me. I cannot bear it.”
Feyd nods, once, almost imperceptibly. “Fine.”
You can’t help it — you reach out and straighten his collar, graze your fingers over his skin. He inhales sharply and it’s in that moment that you realize his avoidant behavior has been just as punishing for him, a matter of self-preservation.
“I will tear off your balls and use them to store my jewelry if you ever do something like that again,” you tell him. Amusement crosses his face, on the tail of his obvious relief.
“Mm, careful, I’d risk anything if it meant you would touch me.”
Part 14
Taglist:
@moonsoulk @heartarianagran @torchbearerkyle @unicoreads @taleah @mamawiggers1980 @jovialeggsbailiffsoul @harkonnin @avidreader73 @unicorntrooper @beebeechaos @kamcrazy123 @wo-ming-bai @m-indkiller @kpopnstarwars @dacreshoney @stopeatread @the-na-baroness @therealslimshady-1 @unnisumi @aoi-targaryen
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allthornsnopetals · 2 days
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You are a Fool E.Bridergton
Description: "I'd rather lose an eye than kiss you." Oh, how the times have changed since, Y/n last exchanged words with Eloise. Perhaps, now Eloise wished to kiss the young lady as Suitors sweep the beauty off her feet.
Warning: 18+ content
Y/n rolls her eyes at the sight of her family home, wishing to be back in Paris, sipping wine and indulging in their fruity society. But she had been summoned home after years receiving education in the city of love, and flamboyance. The season is soon to begin and she were to be wed, and soon, God help the man to court Lady Delacour, and her spicy tastes may.
She grimaced, entering the familiar abode, shouldering off her cloak, and handing it to the servant.
"Y/n, how it is good to finally see you again. I see a young Lady had blossomed, let me get a better look at you." Said Edger, Y/n's eldest brother and heir to the Delacour dynasty, his arms stretched out, waiting for them to be filled.
Y/n grinned, gliding with haste to fill her brother's arms. "It is good to finally have you home!" Another familiar voice, male, called, joining the embrace.
"Hello to you, too, Evon." She chuckles, fighting for air as another and another joins the already crowded hug.
"Hamish, you're poking me." Harwin growls, jabbing his twin brother in the rib.
Due to their fighting, the elder siblings broke a part, all but one watching with amusement. "Stop it! Or I'll knock the sense out of you both, no questions asked!" Edger scolds, pointing his finger in their faces, hunched over like he were their mother.
The boys were two years younger compared to Y/n, but they had grown into young men, taller, too. But still, they beaker, unable to control themselves, even now, seconds after she had returned home. Some things just do not change.
Y/n is the second youngest with two elder brothers and two younger ones, all without a sister for almost eleven years, until now as the season of the debutantes begins, calling for the remaining Lady to be courted. She were not the only woman, for a while, that is. Her mother had kept their family in company for most of Y/n's youth, that was until her passing: childbirth, a scary and terrifying way to die, but it took her final breaths and the opportunity for another sister.
Her passing had driven her family into the dark days, she called it. The days of morning, that drew into months and almost a year before her father had sent her away, unable to bear the face that held his late-wife. Sent away for ten years, until she were eligible for marriage. Any remaining rough edges, had been smoothed over, replaced with rounder, softer and smoother ones, instead.
She were a wild one, even before the passing of her mother. Being sent away surely did her some good, if it also didn't make her miss the french and their stunning cities. Men and women were open about their desires, and encouraged others to indulge in the simplest lust or flame, man or woman, thin or thick, white or black. France is the place of love in different fonts and shapes, Y/n took it a little too literally, with her eyes wandering over from men to women, from women to men.
White, black, she ate. Heavy or light, she ate. Men or women, she ate! French men had a talent of mouth and hands, they preferred head or a work of a gentle hand, oh and how they were talented, or obsessed with ass. The men Y/n spread her wings for, always went for head, fingers, or anal, which she finds divine. The women... Oh Y/n doesn't know where to begin, they were skilled with finding the pleasure of their sexual partner, and always aroused some unknown kink.
But now, she were home and a dinner party is to be held in her return, all close to her family is to attend, and Y/n is to get ready.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Not, too tight, is it?" Asked Daisy, your hand maiden, tightening Y/n's corset. She made a small attempt to smile.
"Is my waist, not slim enough?" She asks instead of replying to her question. Daisy simply nods, loosening the reins of the fabric.
A shaky breath of short relief slips past her lips, her eyes closing with a hand smoothing over her stomach, glad the presser had subsided. Y/n had never been one for corsets, always finding them ridiculous, like a certain someone, whom her cheeks still burn for: Eloise Bridergtion, the first person to ever reject a simple peck to the cheek.
"I'd rather lose an eye than kiss you."
She grinned at the last and final memory she shared with her, so young and sure both girls and boys had cooties. Eloise allowed no one, not even her own papa to kiss her cheek or hold her hand. She was so paranoid, she wore gloves to prevent some sort of plague, she were sure it was real.
"Emerald green or sapphire blue." Daisy said, allowing Y/n to peer inside the two containers.
She wondered for some time, biting her lip as she thought. "I have jewels that would look fabulous with the blue gown," She says, gliding her fingers over the fabric. "Sapphire blue, please."
After a few moments, she was ready. Her hair flowed freely, decorated with blue flowers as a half crown. A wide diamond necklace, rounder her neck with pearl sized sapphires clipped to her ears. Daisy worked at staining her lips a shade of cherry wine before tinting her cheeks with peach blush. Lastly her slippers slipped on her feet with a dab of floral perfume on her neck, wrists and jaw.
"Your thoughts, ma'am." Said Daisy, allowing Y/n to admire her work in the vanity mirror.
"Wonderful as always. Come for me when the party begins."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Stop fiddling, you look like a fool." Violet hissed, forcing Eloise to stand up straight and still, for the most part.
"She is nervous, mama. She hasn't seen Y/n for many years, afraid she might not recognize her." Said Daphne, sipping her sparkly liquid, sure to be alcohol.
Eloise stuck her tongue out, not even trying to hide her immature behavior. "Am not. I am perfectly well, just a bit sweaty that is." She jeered, chugging a glass of liquid courage.
Of course she were nervous, jumping on the balls of her feet with anxiety. She has not seen her dear friend, Y/n for ten years, and still she wished to have allowed her to peck her cheek, goodbye. Perhaps, then she would have had a fond memory and not one filled with tears, and anger. Eloise was more than angry to see her leave, and even depressed at not snagging herself a kiss, even if it were an innocent peck on the cheek. She would have cherished it, like her books. She thought of her everyday, staring out the window, hoping to see Y/n walk to steps to her door, but that hope was just that: hope. She thought herself foolish for some time, that was until the invention to the Delacour Mansion arrived, speaking of a welcome home ball for the only daughter, Y/n Eliza Delacour.
Eloise near fainted. She were to see her friend again! To hear her voice again! To finally fill the duo to a trio, once more: her, Pen and Y/n. The golden girls back together again.
But even with such electricity, it were hard on Eloise to not pick up her skirts and run for the hills, and dunk her head in a bucket of cold ice water. For her thoughts have always been far from platonic for Lady Y/n, a girl she wished to have shared a kiss with before her departure, regretting her poorly chosen words.
"I'd rather lose an eye than kiss you."
Eloise still remembered the hot tears streaming down her cheeks, as if it were yesterday, the guilt still so fresh. She was sure she had lost a friend.
"Well, she's right there. If you are so clear minded, go say hello to her." Daphne stepped aside, allowing Eloise to a route to Y/n.
"Righty then, I will." She huffed, sticking up her nose, and marching off.
Oh what the fuck! She thought gliding her way towards Y/n, dodging bodies and frantic house guests, all bubbling with the return of the sapphire of House Delacour.
As she drew closer, the more frightened Eloise became, terror eating at her. Completely ignore Hyacinth, thundering towards her with Gregory hot on her toes. It was far too late, she was already pooling forward, her arms outstretched, lips releasing a gasp.
But the impact to the hard cool floor did not come, she lay comfortably in a set of arms, holding her steadily, combing back runaway hair. "El?" Her stomach churned, the voice so familiar her stomach had a wakened.
Eloise's throat ran dry and tight, her eyes meeting the gaze of her old friend, her cheeks burning with an embarrassed grin, curving her lips. Y/n steered a sound of surprise and excitement, pulling her into her arms.
"It is you! Thank goodness! I almost didn't recognize you. I missed you and Pen. Talking about Pen, where is she?" Y/n mutters, her breath fanning Eloise's ear.
Eloise swallows hard.
I almost didn't recognize you.
Perhaps, she did fear that Y/n would be unable to identify her, thinking she had forgotten the way she looked. But that fear slowly faded as she sank into her arms, taking in her scent with a sharp breath: Oranges, lemons and pomegranates. Oh, how she missed her. She held onto for a moment longer, until the thought of Penelope whisked her mind.
Pulling a part, Eloise avoided Y/n's gaze. As if she knew something were wrong Y/n guided both her and Eloise to the library, where no one was allowed in, making sure to shut the door behind them.
"Ellie, what happened when I was away? Why is Pen not by your side?" Once the words were out, she felt a fool for asking such things.
"There was a falling out." Said Y/n, now knowing why the two peas were not together.
Eloise bit back a tear, nodding in clarification. Y/n sighed, taking her place in her arms, stroking her hair, pulling out built up tears that welled up inside her. No golden girls, after all.
She wept, holding her so tightly, it could break Y/n ribs.
"Tell me what happened." Y/n sat them both down at the cushioned love seat near the back, hidden from anyone who were to burst in.
Eloise sniffled, her hand held into hers, a smile gracing her lips. "You were always the nurse, always caring about us before yourself. Always patching us up with gentle hands and warm arms, never taking a moment peace for yourself." She laughs wetly, wiping her tears with the back of her gloved hand.
Y/n tsk's, swatting her hand from her face, wanting her not to ruin her make up, wiping her salty river away with her finger tips, their gaze finding one another. "Don't, you'll ruin your gloves." She pulls the fabric from Eloise's hands, placing them on the small coffee table, rolling her thumb over her open palm, an old habit, too good for her to ridden.
Eloise shook her head. "No, just tell me everything about Paris and your travels. I want to know. You must have had the best time." She forced a smile, squeezing Y/n's hands, wanting to change the subject.
"Only if you inform me of what happened." Her tone was cool, almost demanding, Eloise didn't recognize the woman in front of her. Couldn't decipher who she was, yes she looked the same—almost, if it weren't for the sudden bloom of her breasts—and even acted the same, with habits she still lingered with and nature she has long but permanently made one with herself. But she were all grown up now, mature and knowing, bold and daring with her tone, her chin held high, eyes leveled and commanding.
Her heart gave a giddy squeeze, if she were to stare at her any longer, Eloise would spill all her secrets. But not tonight, only for tonight she were to explain the happenings between her and Penelope.
She began with her interest in the unmasking of Lady Whistledown, from there everything progressively got worse and impossibly worse, that Y/n had rang for tea, biscuits and all sorts of sweets, sucked away from her own ball, too invested of what she were hearing. Eloise paused, gulping as if she were nervous for the following words.
"If I don't unmask this anonymous author, everyone in town would know... They'll know that I'm," She chokes, head buried in Y/n's lap, soothed by her elegant lull, her fingers combing through her hair. "Say, no more. Pen thinks it unwise to identify, Lady Whistledown. And she won't help it's sim-
"No! I know she is Lady Whistledown— I feel it in my bones and she will ruin me if everyone knew," She lashes out of her lap, tears streaming down her face. "Knew what?" Y/n coaxes her back into her, wiping her tears away, staring down at her.
Eloise sniffles, choking, blowing her nose in a handkerchief. "If everyone knew I were lesbian. Y/n it will ruin my family, greatly."
Silence followed, Y/n frozen, staring down with her eyes agape. Eloise swallowed harshly, fear running through her. Before she could say anything, Y/n was already moving, standing, and beginning to pace, warming herself near the fire.
"Times have really never changed, here?" Y/n gaped, panic rising in her like a forest fire. "Anyone identified as queer would be ruined, even their families... I should have never returned, I should have stayed in Paris, be free to be who I wished. Eloise, would Lady Whistledown, target anyone with queer traits."
"It's Lady Whistledown, what do you think?"
"Noooo, I need to pack and leave. Run back to Paris. Fake my death?" Y/n was beginning to sound crazy to Eloise.
Why is she panicking? Unless... "You're queer..." It sounded more like a question than a statement. Y/n stomps over to her hastily, cupping her hand over her lips, hovering over her, pressing her into the cushions.
"Must you speak so loudly. And if you must know, I'm bisexual. I have been aware of my fruity tastes for a long while, even far before my trip to Paris, only there did I explode myself, if you understand what I mean." She was so close, Eloise could smell her, her scent so intoxicating.
She slowly, slid her palm away, rolling her thumb over her lips, almost relishing in the feeling. "Tell no one." Her voice, smooth and oddly sweet, in her ears.
"Tell, no one got it." Eloise nods, cheeks burning a vibrant pink. "You're blushing. El, do I make you blush?" Y/n grins, leaning closer, her breath tickling her lips.
Her breathing rose, strangling Eloise, realizing if she to move, even in the slightest her lips would meet Y/n's.
Kiss me, god just kiss me. Release me of this burden.
With no answer, Y/n lent into her shoulder, snatching the exposed skin between her lips, bodies pressed together.
"Would, you rather lose an eye than kiss me." Said Y/n, her words passing through Eloise's skin.
Eloise sucked air into her lungs, tilting Y/n's chin, her eyes meeting hers. "I did not mean what I said then. I wanted you to kiss me, take me with you, be with you. Y/n I have hungered for you, for so long," She paused, gaze taking in every detail of the beauty in her view.
"I feared you'll never return, and I'll starve without you. You're my water and my meal, I'll go parch and go hungry without you. No, I'd rather not lose an eye than kiss you." Her words hung in the gap, so true, it made Y/n's heart dance.
Without another word, she dragged her chin, her lips meeting Y/n's. Eloise moaned, fire bubbling in her stomach, a whizzing boom going off in her ears. Fireworks, booming in the distance, sparks flying. She has been waiting for this, waiting for the right kiss, and this was it. In its gentleness something exciting happened, life.
She couldn't stop the smile, glad she had chosen to keep both her eyes and kiss the girl she has been starving for, for so long. "What are you smiling about?" Asked Y/n, breaking the kiss and grinning down at her.
"Nothing, truly." Eloise giggled, thumb grazing Y/n's lips. "Kiss me again." She orders, pulling Y/n back down, slamming her lips against hers.
Hers hands wander down her back, groping Y/n's ass, rewarding her a gasp, allowing a way past her lips.
Y/n straightens herself up, gasping for air, Eloise's hands gripping her hips. "Have you had sex with a woman before?" Eloise's eyes widened, her lips plump and red. "No... Not at all."
"Have you touched yourself." Y/n removed her gloves, tossing them aside, undoing her dress. "Yes, I have." She grinned, pulling her dress over her head.
"Do you wish to have sex?" She asked, stiffing a laugh at Eloise's reaction to her almost bare body.
She didn't say a word, but nodded frantically, working on her own dress, sitting up to allow Y/n to pull it off her. Once removed, their lips met again, a bit sloppily but Eloise wasn't really taking her time, to high on the moment.
Eloise desperately worked at Y/n's corset, wanting it off as Y/n took her time, knowing the thread of corset with her eyes closed. "Slow down, El. I'm going nowhere." She pants against her lips, noting her lids were already lust shot.
"Calm yourself." She tosses her corset before doing the same to Eloise's. Chest bare for only a minute, before Eloise latches her lips to her left nipple, sucking and licking with her right accompanied by her hand, kneading the flesh.
Rolling her eyes back, her head slowly fell back, moans spilling from her lips. Her hand lingered past her panties, fingers passing her folds, working at her pussy, fucking herself. Biting on her lip, she focuses on pleasing herself, rolling her hips in her own hand, mouth agape. Eloise detaches herself from her breasts, allowing her to fall back, watching her fuck herself, legs spread, gaze locked on hers.
"Come here."
She listens and crawls over to her, watching Y/n remove her digest from her cunt, wet and glossy. "Open," She orders, satisfied as Eloise takes her fingers into her mouth, moaning and sucking on them. "Drink me." She coos, pulling Eloise closer, pulling both their panties off, lining their cunts together before dragging her fingers out of her mouth.
"Grind your pretty little cunt on mine, it will make you feel good." She did not have to do much convincing, for it only took Eloise but a moment to adjust herself, starting to rock her hips.
"Like that?" She asks, moving slowly. "Just a bit to the le-"
She threw her head back, Eloise resting her head on her shoulder, moaning as she gripped her ass, speeding up her pace. Y/n held her close, rocking her hips against hers, rubbing their sex together, in a tangle of limbs. Humping harder and harder, Eloise was cutting it close to the edge but Y/n was just getting started, if the two were to both wish to orgasm tonight, it will be a long night indeed.
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spitdrunken · 3 months
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response to this ask: ABSOLUTELY NOT TOO MUCH!!! This ask has brought me infinite joy and I have reread it a LOT. (Also dw, I will always assume Reader is an adult through asks!! But I get why you’d wanna say that with a term such as grooming, haha) also this got REALLY LONG… HELP.
Notes: pseudocest, obsessive behaviour, codependency, unequal power dynamics, implied minor character death, infantilization… general creepiness. Perhaps this veers away from my original post a little, but I love the idea that you’re someone entirely new to Hell. You’re fresh off the boat, so to speak, entirely unfamiliar with the way things work around here— Except that everything’s fucking terrifying, and you want out! Right now. Please. You see an ad on a random TV in a store’s display, one featuring a hotel that promises ‘sinners’ (which is what you are now, apparently, even your own body now being a new and confusing factor of your existence) a possible way to ascend up to Heaven. Now new and refurbished, after the last successfully averted extermination! Whatever that means. With nowhere else to turn to, no other leads or possibilities except sleeping out on the blood-soaked streets, of course you go! Who wouldn’t? You’d be stupid not to go! …Unless this is all a big scam In which case, you can only hope that you can’t die more than once.
Maybe you arrive, and this grand, beautiful hotel, is, well… Deserted. It’s beautiful on the outside, sure, but where are any of the staff? Or the people staying there, for that matter? You’re so uncomfortable out it all, that you nearly turn tail and run back from whence you came. You would have, if where you came from wasn’t ten times worse.
You walk up to the front desk, and, before you can change your mind, ring the little bell placed on the desk. Someone appears in a flash of golden light, and you have to squint your eyes to avoid being blinded. It disappears as quickly as it came, and a man… Demon, actually, appears in its place. (You catch a quick glance of something bright yellow being quickly stuffed into his pocket, but you have no idea what it is.) His form is noticeably more humanoid than the others you’ve seen out and about. Yes, his skin is an inhuman tone, and his cheeks take apple-red to a whole new level, but he doesn’t appear monstrous. That doesn’t make him exactly inviting, however. His face is set in a neutral expression, and he openly looks you up and down, pupils narrowed into slits. You scratch at the side of your neck, only to immediately flinch. You aren’t quite used to how sharp your nails are nowadays. “Um, hello! I— Sorry to bother you, sir,” you break the silence. “I might be wrong, but is this the Hazbin Hotel…? I saw the advertisement that was put out, and I was interested. Would you happen to be the owner?”
His neutral expression fades, and a small smile takes it place, eyelids sliding half-closed. “Oh no, no— Old me isn’t the boss of this place. That would be my daughter! I’m sure you would have heard of us.” He leans on his staff, both of his hands cupped around the apple on top. His eyes roam around your expression as if searching for something. “You’re pretty new here, I’m guessing?” “…Mhm. It’s that obvious, huh?” You don’t know how he was able to tell so quickly, but you laugh in a way that can only be heard as self deprecating. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, and avert your eyes.
“It’s kind of hard to tell how much time has passed, but— Not a lot. Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. One moment, I was alive, and the next I was here, with this weird body, surrounded by terrifying people, and I don’t know—“ Your voice cracks under the weight of the reality of your situation. An eternity in Hell. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… Yeah. It’s just been a lot.” “I see. Yes, this realm isn’t particularly kind, least of all to newcomers. I can’t imagine what you’ve seen.” He says, quieter now. You dare a glance at his face. Something in his features has softened at your words, his slit pupils and smile wider in size. When he sees you looking, he extends a hand. You take it, and he gives you multiple firm shakes, before pulling you into a quick hug that has your knees buckle a bit and crushes the air out of your lungs. For a little guy, he really is surprisingly strong. When he lets you go, he’s still got a hand holding yours, leading you to one of the couches in the lobby, and promptly plopping down, pulling you with him. “But things are already on the rise for you from here on out!” He says, all boisterous and smiles, revealing rows of sharp teeth. “You’re new here, and already hit the jackpot! Lucifer’s the name!" And you can only imagine what kind of expression flashes over your face, because he nods rapidly and winks at you. “—Yes, that one, glad that, at least, rings a bell. And staying here places you under my family’s protection." His gaze drifts over the lobby. "My daughter and her friends are out doing trust exercises somewhere right now, but I’m certain she’ll be happy to welcome once she returns. She’s a real sweetheart, let me tell you! She didn’t get that from me, I can tell you that!” He laughs, but it quickly tapers off into a sigh. You wish you could laugh along. You have to admit you’re more than just a bit frozen up, questioning all of the decisions in your life and death that lead up to this moment. Sitting on a couch in a hotel lobby with Satan himself… Maybe you could die again, after all, and you were about to experience it. You probably have committed like fifty gross breaches of etiquette already, and, and— There’s a little rubber duck sitting on your lap.
It immediately snaps you out of your stupor, with how sudden and unexpected it is. The duck is bright yellow with chubby orange cheeks, and wearing a little black top hat. You can’t help cracking up a bit, taking it into your hand. …Maybe this guy is as silly as his outfit would suggest. Was calling himself Lucifer his idea of a joke? Things might be alright after all. “Ah..." You smile. "He’s so cute!” You relax, letting your back hit the sofa you’re sitting on. “Like a little gentleman!” This is the only adorable thing you’ve seen ever since arriving in Hell, and no one should blame you for getting a bit excited. Your days have been nothing but utter misery, after all. “You think so? I mean—“ He laughs, short and sudden. “Of course you do! Just look at the little guy! Who couldn’t love him? You can keep him, I can make another one lickety-split!” “Oh! Um, thank you! Does he have a name?” You’re full-on smiling now, and turning to look at ‘Lucifer’. At a shake of his head, you hum in thought. “A fancy guy deserves a fancy name… What about Reginald?” You turn the little toy around, inspecting it from all sides. “You’ve seen nothing yet! Just give it a little squeeze, not too much.” You do as he says. Through the little hole in its beak, a white droplet emerges. “It’s glue! He used to help me with my crafting projects. But, well, he’s yours now. Off to greener pastures, as they say.” You can’t help yourself. The whole situation is really not all that funny, but you crack up, and once you start laughing, you can’t stop. Your chest hurts, and tears are burning at the corners of your eyes. You have no idea why! Everything’s been such a mess lately. After a couple of seconds, you babble out some nonsense. “I gave— I gave Reginald such a posh name! But… Y’know, he’s a working man!” You say, still cracking up in between the words. At this, it’s Lucifer who laughs, a sound loud and sudden enough to ring in your ears. Seems you hadn’t heard a real laugh out of him before after all.
In other words, Lucifer (who you end up finding out really is the Devil himself) quickly grows fond of you, and takes you under his wings. Perhaps it’s your innocence about Hell and it’s mechanisms that pulls him towards you, combined with the fact that you’re just kind of easy to fuss over. You’re none the wiser that Lucifer was all but hopeless about sinners before helping restart the hotel, and entirely unaware that your dynamic is anything but normal. In your mind, Lucifer must befriend people rather frequently! While you’re quickly taken in by Hazbin Hotel’s other friends and staff, it really is Lucifer who helps you through your adjustment period. He makes you little covers for your claws, so you can get used to having sharp appendages, and not accidentally keep clawing open furniture or your own flesh. He requests Nifty makes some food that is at least visually similar to some Earth meal. When you wake up in the morning, there’s always a little duck sitting in front of your hotel door, making you start your day with a smile. You’ve got a shelf full of them now, and love all of them. (And when you’re curled up in your bed, late at night, crying over all that you’ve lost, smothering your sobs with a pillow, there is a gentle knock on your door. Lucifer sits on the side of your bed, wearing striped pajamas in red and white, and encourages you to pour your heart out to him.
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everything you’re feeling, everything you’re going through— He’s heard and seen it all before. In fact, he’s sure he’s heard much, much worse. Has he ever done you wrong? No, he hasn’t. So, talk to him. He tells you, dabbing at your face with a white handkerchief decorated with apples stitched onto it. And you do.)
Lucifer looks after you. Sure, he’s not perfect. But no one is, right? Lucifer often seems to lose track of the conversation you’re having with him, distracted by the things around him and suddenly veering off into entirely different territory. In general, his memory is spotty at best, but you’re not surprised that an immortal being such as himself wouldn’t remember every single little thing you say.
He’ll hole himself up in his workshop for days at a time, only to emerge with nothing to show for it, except for a downtrodden expression. He’ll fight with Alastor (and continuously remind you to stay far away from that piece of shit), and get fussy whenever you try to leave the hotel without him glued to your side. Though his memory seems to often be unreliable, and you believe that a lot of simple conversations you have with him are simply left forgotten, there are instances you would consider insignificant that remain fresh in his mind.
“You’re doing it again,” you tell Lucifer. He’s pacing up and down the length of his room, ranting about Alastor. He blinks, and halts his movements, tapping his staff on the floor. “Doing what?” “The thing,” you emphasize, before standing up and walking towards him, dragging the top of your finger across his bottom lip. You can feel him take a quick inhale as soon as you make contact. A golden smear is left across your skin. “You’re always chewing on your bottom lip when you get upset. Doesn’t it hurt? I know it heals within, like, ten seconds, but still!” Absentmindedly, you look at his blood. It’s a weird thought to have, but it’s strangely… Beautiful. You look back up at him, and your brow furrows. “Hey… Were your red spots always that big? I think I’m seeing things.”
But things get better, and he improves. He starts to try and take little notes of the things you’ve told him, alongside the words of other people important to him, like Charlie, like a diary of sorts. The door to his workplace starts being left unlocked, and you’ll wander in, from time to time. You’ll sit on the chair in the corner of the room, reading or otherwise occupying yourself, and telling him that no, that duck or toy is not the worst thing you’ve ever seen, and doesn’t deserve to be burnt to a crisp.
You listen as he, on bad days, talks about his wife with a forlorn expression on his face. Things get better, though. He tries not to see the worst in sinners any longer, and his moods grow better. He spends more time with Charlie. All is well. You don’t realize just how entangled your existences are until you’re in too deep. That your eyes search for him every time you enter a new room, that you’ve grown comfortable with him doing the talking for you. You try to convince yourself it’s not a bad thing, but the simple truth is that you’ve lost a chunk of your independence. And when you try to go out with the other residents, it’s so easy for him to coax you back out of it.
Are you really sure you want to go? Look, I’m not trying to keep you here— I’m really not! But Hell’s a dangerous place out there, and I can assure you there’ll be things there that you really don’t want to see. …I’ve been working on a little display case for your favourite ducks, I can show you that instead.
He only grows more protective when time goes on, and you do more exercises with the rest of the hotel, bond with the other residents. At times, he tries to convince you to forgo their shared activities entirely.
(You try to forget about what you found in a drawer of his desk, one day. A note among so many other reminders that he is known to keep. But this one is wrinkled, pen pressed so hard to the paper that it’s torn in places. All of them want to go to Heaven, all of them want to leave here. Me. I get it. Because she has left, no one can be guaranteed to stay. But I won’t let the apple of my eye be taken, even if they send down an envoy and try to escort them up themselves. …But it’s hard not to remember.) When he gives you your a warning about the ‘scary outside world’ for the umpteenth time, you can’t help but roll your eyes and counter. Alright, dad. Nothing about your tone shows sincerity. You mean it as a joke or a jab, but Lucifer doesn’t laugh. Instead, he hums out a pleased little noise, a smile settling on his face.
The way he looks at you is so utterly tender, all half-lidded eyes and pupils blown wide, that it leaves you reeling. He nestles himself at your side, under the comfort of your arm, and promises to take care of you for the rest of your eternal life spent there. You have an eternity. It’s sweet, and knocks the breath out of you.
But you would’ve been able to reconcile the image of Lucifer and ‘father figure’ more easily if he, sometimes, didn’t act so contrary to such an image. He’ll call for you from behind his workdesk as you’re sitting on your usual chest, ready to show you a ventriloquist doll he’s been working on.
As you stand next to him, an arm is wrapped around your waist, and he pulls you on his lap. It’s in no way comfortable for him. He has to stick his head underneath one of your arms to see anything at all. It would be silly otherwise, but the way he pulls you flush against him, face nuzzled into your side as he audibly inhales, one clawed hand resting on your thigh… You can’t help but have it muddle your feelings towards him. He frequently kisses your hand as a greeting, and insists you let him kiss both of your cheeks before parting. You would write it off as one of his unique quirks if he did the same thing for Charlie, but he doesn’t.
Lucifer, with an eternity of time to hone his skills behind him, has picked up all kinds of crafts, including sewing. He’ll make pieces of clothing for you in his colour scheme, sew apple-themed patches on your clothing, among other things. It’s always embarrassing when he makes something. He fusses and cooes over you like you’re a child when you first wear any piece, clapping his hands and grinning. Oh, just look at you! Aren’t you the cutest little thing? It looks lovely on you!
Anyone with more than two braincells can tell something is going on between the two of you, though no one is quite sure exactly what. Perhaps Angel is rubbed the wrong way by just how overbearing Lucifer is being, and considers you to just get out there for once with the rest of them. You’re always cooped up inside the hotel! Come on, he’s been around the block more times than he count, and he knows every trick in the book. You’ll be fine as long as you stick with him. And… You have fun! Going out, dancing and drinking, accompanied by your friends, is wonderful. But maybe you drink a little bit too much, yet entirely unfamiliar with the different types of names alcoholic beverages in Hell have. How were you supposed to know you accidentally ordered one of the strongest drinks on the menu? And, in the crowd of people, you lose the rest, wandering outside without really noticing it. You’re such an obvious target, staggering on the sidewalk, giggling and mumbling to yourself, that you wouldn’t entirely blame anyone for the poor argument that ‘you were asking for it’ in a place like this. Your world is left spinning as you’re pushed against a wall, vision momentarily blacking out as your skull bashes against brick. (Somewhere in the club, Angel is looking for you, getting more frantic by the moment.)
You never get the chance to figure out exactly what the demon’s intentions are. As soon as their fingers brush over a patch Lucifer had sewn into your clothing, an apple with a little snake head popping out, they’re blasted back by golden light.
Your addled mind is still struggling to keep up when you’re wrapped in a set of soft, beautiful wings. The back of your head is cradled by gloved hands. You catch a glimpse of blood-red eyes set within a familiar face, but, soon, a cluster of feathers covers your eyes. There are horrible cracking noises, gurgling, wheezing— Though you see none of it, your imagination more than makes up for it. You press your face up against his chest, nauseous and shaking like a leaf. Lucifer takes off without a word, the flapping of his multiple sets of wings loud enough to awaken an oncoming headache. Mid-flight, when his features have returned to the ones you know him for, he peppers your face with kisses, and makes you look at him. You mumble out apologies, sniffling, drunk and shaken, but Lucifer shushes you.
What were you doing all the way out there, on your own? You’re usually such a good listener, my dove. You always listen to all of my warnings. A gloved finger traces your cheek. Someone convinced you to go out, didn’t they? That has to be it. You can tell your dad who it is. I won't be mad at you. You’ve never been afraid of Lucifer before. Now, though, you’re filled with apprehension. You frantically shake your head. Oh, then it was your own idea? The tip of one of his nails pokes your cheek. Not nearly hard enough to hurt, but the pressure is there.
…And you really do deserve to be in Hell, because prompted with this question, you take the selfish way out, and once again shake your head. More slowly, this time. See? It wasn’t that hard to be truthful, was it? I knew it wouldn’t be your fault. Now, all you have to do is tell me who it was.
That night, you spend the night in his bed, with Lucifer arguing that you’re very drunk. Which is very much. It’d be horrible for you to go ahead and choke on your vomit, or something like that! So, you should just stay with him. As you're drifting on the verge between conscious and unconscious, his lips find the skin of your throat, placing kisses up and down. Open-mouthed and warm, barely restrained.
You wake up the next morning with a splitting headache and only vague memories of the day prior. But you wake up with Lucifer’s arms wrapped around you, his face hidden in the crook of your neck, each of his breaths tickling your skin. You wake up to one of his legs slotted in between yours. You wake up to the realization that you’ve bitten off far, far more than you can chew.
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softieekayy · 7 months
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In the dark of the Night
Hannibal x vampire!reader
Word count: 5.5k
A/N: the reader is characterized with having a mole under her left/right eye and brown/black hair. (She also comes from greek origins and I sincerely hope I don’t offend anyone.) reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🧸
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Biologically, vampires were impossible. Their immortality and survival on blood didn’t make any sense, in the scientific and medical sense. At least that’s what Hannibal Lecter believed for the majority of his life. Until he stumbled upon one, in the dark of the night where in an alley there stood a creature of the night, blood thirsty, sucking on the neck of a lifeless man.
Hannibal paused, he didn’t know if it was in shock or intrigue, perhaps it was a mix of both. But at this moment, he didn’t care what it was. He was taken so dearly by this bewitching creature. Oftentimes, he wondered what vampires looked like, in his head, they were ugly beings with protruding teeth and rotten grayish flesh from the lack of sun. Not once in his life did Hannibal ever think that they’d be so beautiful. This woman who stood in front of him was bewitching with hair that cascaded beautifully down her back in perfectly done curls and makeup done with perfection and down to the outfit she wore. She was perfection.
“I wonder if I should let you live or die.” The woman in front of Hannibal smirked, snapping him out of his momentarily trace while discarding the corpse as though he was nothing. To her, he was nothing more than a blood bag. Hannibal noticed her fangs, sharp canines that looked nothing out of the normal.
“I believe my death will bring you peace for your secret.” Hannibal responded breathlessly, stil so taken by the beauty in front of him. He watched as she moved fluidly, quick and fast, he observed how the moonlight beamed on her skin making her look ethereal. In a quick moment, she was in front of him, gripping his chin between her fingers as she observed. Hannibal didn’t know why nor did he care why but his breath hitched, not allowing air flow to get to his lungs. He couldn’t breathe but he didn’t care to, if he could die in this moment, he’d die a happy man. Death at the hands of a death Angel.
“I can hear your heart, are you scared?” The woman whispered in his ear, giving a slight lick on the shell of his ear as she huffed out a small laugh.
She pulled back, watching him curiously.
Something about him drew her to him. She didn’t want to kill him. However, her soul was drawn to his, something that she could tell was as old as she was. Older than life itself.
“Do as you please.” Hannibal whispered, closing his eyes, awaiting his death. Upon feeling nothing, Hannibal was confused, he wondered why she didn’t kill him. He opened his eyes, eyes that were the colour of rum and a slight tinge of maroon, eyes that held warmth hurried deep within. The woman in front of him was observing him, similar to a cat observing its prey, her blood stained mouth pulled into a slight frown.
She took one step forward, sauntering like a cat and in a moment, before Hannibal had known what happened, she stood next to his ear, whispering “Find me when you have time, we need to have a long chat.” Before leaving a small kiss on his jaw, leaving behind a red lipstick print, the only thing he’d have to hold on to for a long while.
Time passed quickly and before Hannibal knew, it had been decades since he’d seen the beautiful beast in that dark alley. He was a young boy then but a grown man now and somewhere deep in his soul, he missed her. He didn’t understand why and he won’t for a while, fate has decided to play a cruel game on him. He still remembers the inquisitive look that she held in her eyes and the way the moonlight made her look like an angel from the highest of heavens.
Even as he stood now, in the dark street, his face being lit by the moon, he thought of her.
His eyes were closed and his head tilted up, as if he was long awaiting death. She thought he looked like a fallen angel, craving for the touch of heaven again. Unbeknownst to him, the immortal beauty had been keeping up on him. She watched him grow from a 20 year old boy in medical school to the man he was now. A beautiful man with the appetite for something so dark.
“Hmm, you look as delectable as the night I met you.” She hummed, voicing her thoughts. Hannibal snapped his eyes open, looking towards her direction, bewilderment coating his face. Calling her a young woman would be quite the irony for she was as old as time itself.
She sauntered forward like a fox, her black lace skirt flowing down her legs seamlessly, lips stretching into a foxy smile with fangs protruding onto wine red lips. Even at night she dressed like a beauty and Hannibal could not stop staring at her, his soul wanted her, no, it craved her.
“You’ve developed quite the palette, love. A very interesting one at that.” She told him, leaning against the wall, a respectable distance still between them.
“You told me that we’d talk when I find you, it seems that you’ve found me instead.” Hannibal mused, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“It seems that I did.” She smiled up at Hannibal and he smiled in return. He may not know her in this lifetime, but their souls are well versed, knowing every inch of one another. The two walked forward to each other, two hunters coming together for the hunt of a lifetime.
“I believe we can have that talk now.” She told Hannibal, her lips almost brushing his own as their noses touched. Hannibal hummed in slight agreement.
“I believe that we can do the talking later.” He told her before kissing her, his lips twisting with hers in a passion that cannot be recreated. His hand gripping the back of her neck as her hands gripped Hannibal’s shirt, in an almost desperate manner.
She pulled back, giving Hannibal the chance to catch his breath, she didn’t need to breathe.
“Oh my dearest heart, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that.” The young woman told him, laughing a little when Hannibal pulled her close to his chest, resting his cheek on her head laughing a bit as well.
“So tell me now, why is it that you never killed me back then.” Hannibal asked her, leading her into his home and looking back at her. Despite the way her beautiful eyes glimmered in the warm light, they held a deep sadness within them.
“I’ve lived a long long life, my love.” She told Hannibal, caressing his cheek as she smiled. Hannibal leaned into her touch, wanting more.
“I’m here to listen to your pain.” He told her, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. Her body wasn’t warm, it hasn’t been for over a thousand years. It was cold, like a dead one.
“I was born in 487, in Ancient Greece, during the Hellenistic period, I was a priestess of the great goddess Artemis, a goddess of the hunt. A young woman who was to spend the rest of her days living in the temple of the goddess. Of course, back then I hadn’t known what life would hold for me. I was young and naive, wanting to help anyone who came to the Goddess’ temple.” She told Hannibal, her eyes closed and head tilted back as she reminisced the days of her early youth. Even though it had been over 2,400 years ago, she remembered it clearly.
Hannibal observed her closely, her hair that was once up nearly now lay in curls down her back as one hand held a glass of red wine he had kindly poured for them. Her nails were long and sharp, like claws but nothing out of fashion. She truly looked like a temptress, and maybe, just maybe, many stories of vampires being beautiful stemmed from her.
“There was this one night, it was cold and rainy all day, an indication that a storm was about to come. Many thought that the great god Zeus was upset hence why everyone stayed home that day. Women that came to pray for their daughters didn’t come, pregnant ladies hoping for a safe birth didn’t come and men who prayed for a good hunt did not come.” The old vampire told Hannibal and to him, it seemed like a myth. Her life, her humanity was so long ago that it seemed impossible to Hannibal yet it was. She was living proof of it.
“Yet there was this man who came, seeking shelter in the temple.” Hannibal listened to his companion continue her story.
“A young man in his 30’s I assumed. But he was beautiful, more beautiful than any creature I had ever seen. His hair was long and blonde and he was dressed in the richest of robes. I, being the young lady I was, allowed him in. I trusted him, fed him and gave him shelter from the rain. And he betrayed me.” She told Hannibal, the glass that she had been now shattered as broken shards embedded themselves into her skin.
Quickly Hannibal took her hand, eyeing for any injuries yet finding none.
“Are you hurt, my dear.” He asked her and she simply pulled her hand away before shaking her head no.
“What happened? What did this man do to you?” The older man asked her, running his hands through his slowly graying hair, worried about what she might say next.
“He betrayed me. That night, after feeding him and giving him a place to sleep, I went to pray to the goddess, to pray for the safety of my community and the children and for the families to never starve. I was just setting up her altar after praying when he attacked me. A growling creature with teeth as sharp as a sword and glowing red eyes, he turned to me and smiled and said “you’re a stupid little lamb aren’t you. Letting strangers you don’t know into your sanctuary.” Those words were the last I heard before searing pain and finally, darkness.” She sighed deeply, as if she had just breathed out the pain she held in her heart.
Hannibal felt pain for her and the way her life ended. She may be alive but she’s a walking corpse, she doesn’t breathe nor does she sleep. She’s not warm and she’s not alive. There’s no beating heart in her body.
“What about your family?” Hannibal asked her, making her smile slightly and look up at him, she stood up and walked over to him, running her hand through his hair and Hannibal leaned into her touch like a cat.
“I believe they simply thought I died in the storm, and I believed that it was best for them to believe that. My sister went on to have kids and so did my brother. However, my mother and father never really moved on from losing me.” The old vampire told Hannibal, and he nodded, understanding her reasoning for not going back.
“Come my love, you have work tomorrow and I have things to do.” The brunette told him, leading Hannibal up the stairs to his room and he followed behind her as if in a trance. Once reaching his room, he took out his nightwear and sat it on the dresser as the young woman watched.
“Are you going to leave again?” He asked her, not recognizing the voice that came out of him. He sounded like a small boy asking for someone to stay. He sounded pathetic to himself.
“Only to get my stuff. Unless you’d like me to leave.” The young woman winked towards the end of the sentence and laughed. Hannibal laughed when he came up to her and leaning down to her level, he placed a kiss on her lips and she returned it with just as much passion.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She told him after pulling back from the kiss, and kissed his cheek.
Their one morning turned into another and another and sooner than later, they moved in momentum. One could not function without the other, a flowing river.
Hanniabl proposing to her wasn’t very secretive, he did it in their kitchen, while she marked work of her students, the pair had decided to settle in Baltimore, Maryland where Hannibal worked as a psychiatrist and his wife as a teacher. She always had a thing for children and teaching. Unfortunately due to her being physically dead, she could not have any children of her own.
“What are your thoughts on marriage?” Hannibal asked her one day, not bothering to look up from the veggies he was cutting. His lover smiled at him, putting her hand under her chin in faux thought, fangs poking her cherry lips.
“I have never really thought of it. I’ve had lovers, yes, I’ve been a mistress and everything in between yet I have never thought of marriage. Why do you ask?” The smile never left her face as her attention was fully directed towards Hannibal. She sat up straight, dark hair cascading down her back in Hollywood curls as she crossed her legs one over the other before pulling up the sleeves of her sweater.
“If you’ve had lovers, you never thought of marriage?” Hannibal questioned, a small hint of laughter in his voice. He looked up at her, hair disheveled from the long day he’d spent with patients.
“They were lovers, not someone I’d consider spending the rest of my life with.” She told Hannibal in a nonchalant tone. Her eyes held warmth when she looked at Hannibal, he noticed the way her body lost its rigid posture around him and the way she let herself become more loose.
“Would you marry me?” Hannibal dropped the question, his breath hitching in his throat while he anticipated her answer. Anything other than a yes would kill him, physically and emotionally.
“Without a doubt.” The dark haired woman told him as she hopped down from her place at the kitchen bar and made her way towards Hannibal. He looked over his shoulder at her, smiling at her.
“If you’d said anything other than a no, I think I would’ve died.” Hannibal told her, standing up to his full height, towering over his lover. He pulled her into his embrace as she rested her hands on his chest, looking up at Hannibal with a love drunk look on her face.
“When should we start planning?” She asked him, elated beyond means yet not letting an ounce of it slip through her voice. Hannibal let out a laugh before bending down to kiss her passionately.
“You can do the planning, I can assure you that money will be no issue.” Hannibal informed her as he went back to continuing their dinner.
“Sweetheart, I've more than enough money to last us for generations. I’ve been alive for so long and many of my lovers have transferred their assets to me as well. So yes, I agree, money will be no issue.” She laughed and Hannibal laughed with her.
It was not long after this dinner that the wedding planning began.
(Y/n) had a famous dressmaker that she had turned into her kind to forever make her dresses. A polish woman by the name of Olg, a fiesty woman. No matter how grumpy she may seem, the older woman had always thought of the brunette as her own daughter ever since she lost her own.
“Olga! It’s good to see you!” The young woman greeted the older lady with a tight hug and a kiss to the cheek. The older one returned the hug before pushing her back to take her in.
“Still the mournful colours you wear. Reds and blacks and grays. I see that nothing has changed.” Olga told (Y/n) with a distasteful tone. The younger one never listened to Olga when she told her to wear more colourful clothes. The only colours she had in her pallet were blue and red.
(Y/n) laughed fondly before hugging the old lady again and dragging her to the car. The ride home was filled with chatter about everything and nothing. Olga pestered the brunette about Hannibal and to know more about him. She was excited, her daughter, not by blood, finally found love within her life. Someone whose eyes light up when she enters the room and the one person who looks at her as if she hung the stars specifically for him.
“Have you thought about wedding dress fabrics?” (Y/n) hummed in thoughts the question. When she was born, it was a plain white fabric wrapped around you. Although she was very fond of the dresses that were worn in the 1800’s. The puffy dress with off the shoulder sleeves, ugh, (y/n) loved them so much. She liked to think that they were the height of fashion, Olga liked to disagree.
The ride home went by faster than the two ladies expected yet they were not disappointed. Olga was happy to be here to judge the groom in person.
“Do you smell that?” (Y/n) sniffed the air, smiling as she straightened out her dress and fixed her hair before bending down to pet Lucius, a fluffy black cat that wandered the grounds of the Lecter home. Olga indeed did smell that, she smelt meat with a tinge of blood and she was absolutely starving.
While the young brunette cooed at the cat who was now spread out on his back, Olga examined her surroundings. The home was nice and modern, it was a large home with a glass front.
“Do you like it?” (Y/n) asked Olga before guiding her into the home. It was just as beautiful on the inside with a blue coded interior.
“Hm, it’s quite nice. However it compares nothing to the estate that one Lord gave you. Madly in love, he was.” Olga reminisced, pointing her finger at the younger woman who laughed boisterously. The younger woman led Olga into the kitchen where Hannibal was just finishing up the dinner.
“Oh hello, my love.” Hannibal perked up at the greeting before turning around to greet his wife to be. (Y/n) kissed him on the jaw and hugged him and he returned the hug.
“Hello Angel.” Hannibal smiled, caressing her cheek before kissing it in greeting. (Y/n) pulled back before walking back to Olga and introducing her.
“Hans, this is Olga, my mother in all but blood.” (Y/n) enthusiastically introduced the older woman who was busy sizing up the tall man. He had charm and was good looking. He could also cook. However, all that mattered was that he loved her daughter and that she loved him.
“It's a great pleasure to finally meet you, (y/n) has spoken greatly of you.” Hannibal smiles at the woman who nods slightly at him in acknowledgement. He gestured for all of them to take a seat and they did, Hannibal sitting at the head of the table with his fiancee on the right and Olga on his left. Dinner was a silent deal, Olga didn’t know how to feel. There were many times in the past where (y/n) had come close to marrying yet never did. She only hoped that this couple would last for eternity and beyond. Olga knew deep down that it will, she could see it in the way they both looked at each other. Hannibal looked at her as if she was the breath of fresh air he’d been looking for his entire life while (Y/n) looked at him as if he was the only thing that she lived for.
Dinner was a silent affair and Hannibal was an excellent cook. After dinner, (y/n) wandered off into her study to mark the remaining work of her students as Olga cornered Hannibal in the kitchen.
“She’s loved men greater than you, many Kings and Lords who were willing to lay their lives down for her beauty.” Olga informed Hannibal who listened intently, trying to ignore the clenching feeling in his heart. He knew that his lover had many before him yet he never felt insecure, not until this moment that is, the words from Olga’s mouth put that into perspective. If great kings and lords were willing to die for her, then who was he to deserve her love?
“Yet she never married any of them.” Hannibal retorted looking up at Olga, maintaining eye contact as some form of dominance.
“No, she almost did though. A man, a lord really. A widowed man, he was. His wife had succumbed to the chills and (Y/n) was new at court, quickly catching the eye of the young lord.
Their love was pure and young, like a freshly bloomed flower. However it did not last unfortunately, the young lord succumbed to a strange illness that (Y/n) would never die from.” Olga told Hannibal who listened closely to a piece of his fiancée’s history. Olga stood leaning against the counter, watching Hannibal, waiting for a reaction.
“Well, that’s unfortunate. However, she has me and I have her, I am not succumbing to any illness soon.” Hannibal smiled at Olga in a sarcastic manner who just smiled back at him, glad that he hadn’t let the jealousy overcome his conscious mind.
“You, my boy, will do just fine.” Olga pat Hannibal on the back and wandered off, leaving the older man to his own thoughts. Hannibal himself wasn’t less than royalty, he was the Count of Castle Lecter in Lithuania, his mother was a descendent of a family that ruled over Milan for 290 years.
He was on par with any king or lord that would die for his wife to be. She was beautiful, perhaps even the most beautiful creature to walk this earth.
Lost in thought while doing the dishes, he didn’t notice his lover walking in. The slight touch of her hand on his back caught Hannibal off guard as he let out a sigh of relief once he saw it was only his lover.
“Are you alright?” She questioned him, a worrisome look on her face as her eyebrows furrowed together, wondering what made him so panicky. Her hand travelled from rubbing his shoulder to caressing his face. Hannibal sighed gently before allowing himself to lean into her touch, cherishing every moment.
“I’m quite alright, dear.” Hannibal told the young brunette in a soft yet tired voice. She muttered a quiet “oh Hannibal,” before encasing him in a hug. Hannibal hugged her tightly, afraid that she was just a dream that his mind had conjured up before burying his face in her neck, allowing himself to breathe in her scent.
(Y/n) pulled back from the hug, bending her neck down to look at Hannibal as a frown overtook her beautiful face. She carded her hands through his hair before they settled on his face.
“How will you tell me what’s wrong?” She asked him gently and Hannibal, just for a brief moment, lost control over himself.
“Olga told me about your past.” Hannibal barely whispered out in a bitter tone. “She told me about the man who you nearly married and the kings and lords who were willing to lay their life down for you.”
“Oh my dear heart, that man was someone I loved years ago. But you, my dear, you are my love now. My star and my moon.” Hannibal relaxed at her words of reassurance, fully pulling away from their embrace.
“Let’s head up to bed now, I’ll start a fresh bath for you. It’ll help you relax.” She smiled at him and patted his cheek before heading upstairs.
Hannibal stole a quick kiss from his girlfriend before going back to doing the dishes. Once he finished, he wiped his wet hands on a towel and removed his apron and hung it on the hook before heading upstairs. Halfway up and he can already smell the scent of jasmine and sandalwood beginning to drift through the air. Hannibal tilts his head up and takes in a deep breath, already feeling a bit relaxed.
“There you are my star.” (Y/n) called out to Hannibal as she got up from the bed. “I’ve been waiting patiently for you, truly had half a mind to go and grab you myself.” She tells him, Hannibal laughs as he makes his way to their bathroom.
Even at the end of the day she looks like an Angel. His beautiful angel, crafted by god just for him. He removes his clothes, putting them in the hamper and then getting into the bath. Sandalwood and Jasmine, the scent that comforted him the most simply because it belonged to his wife. He remembers the first time he saw her, in that alley way, smelling like freshly bloomed jasmine with a hint of sandalwood.
“Take your relaxing bath, I’ll see you in bed.” The young woman told her lover before kissing him on the corner of his lips and strutting into the room. Hannibal relaxed fully now, lowering himself into the extremely hot water. It felt nice to have someone care for him like this. Sometimes he let his mind wander and wonder if this is the type of love Mischa felt when she was being cared for by her elder brother. He missed his sister, his little star in the sky. Now she truly was a part of the sky. Shaking his head, Hannibal closed his eyes and drifted off a short sleep.
Once he woke up, 35 minutes had passed and his body had already pruned. Quickly getting out, he moisturized and put his night suit on. His wife, although they weren’t married legally, was on the bed, reading a book that was centuries old. She was there when it was written, hence her copy is an original.
“I thought you weren’t coming out of that bath today.” She joked, smiling up at him.
“It seems like you made it too relaxing.” Hannibal joked back, poking her side making her laugh. Sweet laughter that sounded like wind chimes. She set her book aside, arranging the pillows so that she laid down properly on them.
“Ready to sleep?” Hannibal asked her, moulding himself around the shape of her body.
“With you? Always.” She tells her husband, moving closer to rest her head on his beating heart, allowing it to lull her to sleep. Hannibal moved his cheek atop her head, breathing in that familiar scent of metallic blood and jasmine, allowing the scents to send him to a dreamless sleep.
The next morning was usual, Hannibal woke up first, made breakfast, woke up his wife and Olga, ate breakfast and then got dressed and headed off to work, he was now consulting with the FBI.
(Y/n)’s routine was the same as well. She ate, came up, got dressed for her teaching job, grabbed her papers and headed off to school.
Olga, well, she didn’t exactly have a job however, she had decided to get a head start on the wedding fabric. She knew that (Y/n) wanted something that was classic and elegant yet also wanted lace. She headed to multiple fabric stores and picked up multiple fabrics, allowing her surrogate daughter to pick one she liked the most. She wouldn’t admit it but Olga was excited, her daughter had happiness once, yet it was snatched straight out of her hands and now, she has a second chance at it with a great man.
The day came and went, by the time she reached home, it was 3pm and two hours later, (Y/n) returned home.
“Olga! What is all of this?” She asked surprised, shutting the door and taking off her gloves and coat, (y/n) put them on the couch and sat beside Olga.
“I brought fabric. The sooner you choose the type, the sooner I can begin the design.” Olga told her. The younger girl looked at Olga for a moment before hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek.
“You shouldn’t have!” She told her once, pulling away from the hug.
“Nonsense child. Now choose your favorite fabric.” And with those words, (y/n) began to finger the fabric and examined them closely. Some were beautiful crème coloured fabrics with a pearl sheen and others were decorated with gold threads and white coloured flowers embroidered. It was simply beautiful. However, the one that truly caught the young woman’s attention was a beautiful ivory coloured fabric with beautiful lace detailing and the fabric was woven with silver, causing it to have a beautiful shine in the sun and light.
“That one is it.” Hannibal called out from the door making his wife jump. She glared at him for a moment before running her hands through her hair. He laughed and shed his coat jacket, sitting next to his wife.
“It's beautiful, isn’t it.” She told him and Hannibal nodded. The fabric truly was one of a kind, however, his wife was more beautiful than any fabric or creature.
“I agree but I think that you’ll make it shine even more.” He tells her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and kissing her. (Y/n) raised his hand to his cheek, deepening the kiss a bit more.
“So that’s the fabric I assume.” Olga guessed.
“Well then, I’ll get started on the dress.” Olga kissed (y/n) on the cheek and headed to the sun room that was converted into her studio.
4 months passed by and their routine continued. Hannibal and (Y/n) headed off work while Olga worked on the dress, keeping it a secret from the bride. A month later, the dress was ready.
“The flower arrangements are beautiful, aren’t they.” The brunette gushed over the flowers, clutching onto Hannibal’s arm as he agreed. They truly were beautiful. Baby’s breath paired with lilac coloured flowers.
“Have you sent the invitations?” Hannibal asked the wedding planner who nodded. Hannibal nodded in acknowledgement and placed his hand over his wife’s.
“Everything will be perfect, my love.” Hannibal tells her normally, kissing her forehead before muttering a soft “And anyone who messes it up will be our dinner.” (Y/n) smiled at that. They weren’t innocent, Hannibal supplied her blood and the rest ate with her.
Their wedding date was in a week and good lord did that week come fast. At work Hannibal had made good friends with Will Graham and that man was his best man. Hannibal had friends, many friends, yet Will Graham was surprisingly his closest.
“Are you ready?” Will asked Hannibal who looked at him through the mirror.
“To marry her? Any day.” Hannibal replied in confidence, making Will laugh.
“I just went to see her, she looks like a vision come true. Now I see why you call her angel.” Will laughed, running his hands through his unruly curls. Will hadn’t only become friends with Hannibal, he also became friends with his wife. Will reminded (y/n) of her brother, one that she never got to see grow.
“Are you ready?” Maya asked (y/n), straightening her veil before grabbing ahold of her hands.
“Maya, I’ve been waiting over 9 centuries for this, I am ready as I'll ever be.” (Y/n) tells her long time friend, squeezing her hands in confirmation.
“Alright then, let’s get you married.” Maya said, linking their arms together.
Will was right, his wife to be was a beautiful vision. Olga did so wonderfully designing the dress, it was reminiscent of fashion during the Tudor period, with a beautiful ivory bodice decorated with the most beautiful blue and gold birds and flowers, the skirt was simple and trimmed with lace as well as the arms. It was a heavy skirt with multiple layers of fabric. A true Tudor wedding dress. Her hair was done up and a few loose curls framed her face, the makeup suited her well, dark eyes with a dark lip and the finishing touch was a dark blue lace choker, with a pendant depicting the goddess that she once served.
“You are stunning.” Hannibal sighed out in disbelief, still looking at his wife and took her hands in his bigger ones.
The priest officiated the wedding and they said their vows, sealing the ceremony with a kiss.
Maya cried at the Vows while Will teared up a little, praying to whatever god there was to find a love like theirs.
“I’ve waited a thousand years for you, Hannibal. I’ll wait another thousand if it means to have you in my arms.” She tells him, placing her hand on his cheek as he leans into it.
“I’d wait a thousand years to feel your touch and your love again, my beautiful, beautiful wife.” Hannibal tells her, tilting her chin up before kissing her again. They are finally married now, after centuries (Y/n) found someone to love for centuries to come and Hannibal found someone to love.
Tagging my beauties: @chchchcheni @shawty-writes-a-little @jake-g-lockley
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