#and drawing the same two characters in basically the same pose every few months

[dokidokitsuna]

RWBY: Next Steps

This is just a design collection (remember when I used to do those? 'Winter Mission', 'Summer Tour'?? Fun times~)...and it may be my last. Its only real purpose is to give me something fun to draw for the NeverFell Projects wrap-up series. The recent Adam and Cinder designs are technically part of this collection, too. ^^

These were much harder to do than those two, though...I've spent ~2 months chipping away at this set, trying and retrying to address several different RWBY design criticisms while still making the girls look good. ಥ_ಥ I've finally begun approaching success, though, so I wanted to talk a bit about these ideas.

Ruby The only one I managed to design in one try. ^^; This was my answer to the question I felt was posed by Ruby's Vol. 7 design: i.e. "how do we do a new Ruby design that feels more 'mature'??" Because I never liked how the V7 design attempted to do that. :/

Between the new hairstyle and the new 'generic adventurer' clothes, it felt less like they were trying to evolve Ruby Rose and more like they didn't like her original design and wanted to get as far away from it as possible. V1-Ruby was such an iconic look (and STILL IS), and yet there's no trace of it in V7-Ruby. None of the goth-lolita style or playful edge that even V4-Ruby managed to preserve...instead they just scrubbed everything out to start from scratch, with a new design that's honestly 'meh' at best.

So what I did was stick closely to V1-Ruby, while adding just a few big changes to make the look distinct. You say a 'combat skirt' is too childish for an older Ruby? Well then we'll make it shorts...but shorts that are just as frilly and cute as the original skirt, with a similar overall shape. You say her original hairstyle is too boring and 'safe'? Well, then we'll change it...by simply shaving half of it off. It's a much edgier look that simultaneously preserves the original shape of her hair: from every angle except front and back, her silhouette will remain the same.

You say you want to give her new shoes, but don't want the fandom to make fun of you for covering them in dozens of belts again? Here's a wild idea: cowboy boots. ^^ A totally unexpected, unique item that still fits in with the antique-ish vibe of her goth clothes.

Basically, I just wanted to prove that you can do something dramatically different with Ruby without completely abandoning her fashion sense.

Criticisms: The details are still lacking; I think I should work some red accents into her corset and boots. Also, I originally designed this outfit with a white shirt, and I kinda want it back (she had the team colors! R, W, B, and Y! ;_;)...the problem is that it clashes with the sheer thigh-highs. One must go...I'm sure I'll figure it out

Weiss The toughest of the bunch: I did three different Weiss designs before landing on this one. ^^;;; The big epiphany came when I realized that Weiss looks her best when she mirrors Ruby. The girls' original design concepts share a lot of features; I feel like the characters were designed to look like they belong together, and figured I might as well honor that.

ALSO-- and this was the biggest priority for Weiss' design-- I firmly believe that she should not look like a princess anymore. From a character designers' perspective, it is ludicrous that they gave her the giant Disney ballgown in the same volume where they put classism at the center of the plot and have her send her bourgeoisie father to jail. That right there is the definition of mixed messages...

I thought the whole point of Weiss' character arc was to distance herself from the uber-rich parasites of her family and fellow 'Atlas elites'. I thought we cemented that when she officially lost her "heiress" title in V4. o_O I expected her next look to ditch the crown and visually show that she's past the point of 'rebelling'-- there's no more authority in her life for her to rebel against; she's free now! But alas...

So as usual, I had to do it myself. This Weiss outfit is definitely still fancy, with the coattailed vest and ruffled sleeves, but there's a lot less 'decoration'; fewer jewels, fewer details. The construction is straightforward and simple. And of course, no more tiara. Instead I decided to give her a li'l snow pea flower and ribbon, which ended up inspiring her new periwinkle purple-y color scheme. Like her original design, it's actually fairly colorful, but does its job and puts the emphasis on the white elements.

Criticisms: ...Not many, this came out pretty good. ^^ I might reconsider the black coattails, but if I do I'll probably just switch it out with the indigo inner vest. I like the idea of her outfit construction mirroring Ruby's, but her color scheme mirroring Blake's, since they have a closer bond in NeverFell.

Blake Blake designs are notoriously difficult; if you wanna hear some great reasons why, I suggest you check out this old Twiins iink RWBY design ranking video, which always helps guide me when I do redesigns for the main 4. Anyway, this phenomenon makes it hard to describe what I did...I guess you could say I tried to combine all the best elements of all her outfits, while clinging to the 'fancy action girl' vibe of her original design.

I'm most proud of her new hairstyle-- I dunno why, I just enjoyed working on it and making those decisions. ^^ It's hard to tell, but it IS shorter; now shoulder-length instead of back-length. We make up for this with additional volume, emphasizing the waves in her hair texture by pushing them outward. And most notably: she keeps the ribbon. She just wears it differently, using it to accentuate her ears instead of hiding them. This way, we keep the point of interest on her head while still showing her character growth.

Criticisms: Infinite, countless. This is a good look, but something is definitely still off. ^^;;; I think some additional detail in certain places (not sure where yet...) might help 'finish' it, so to speak. Maybe some extra yellow accents...? Also, the bow obviously gets lost in her hair this way. I've tried several color changes and don't like any of them; I think I may just have to texture it differently in the final product. Fingers crossed...

Yang Another tough one...I only made 2 design drawings, but the colors took several rounds of trial and error. I think my excitement over finally arriving at a good color scheme TODAY was what spurred me to make this post. ^^;

Anyway...there is a specific piece of Yang design criticism I hear fairly often that drives me up the wall: people commonly complain that she doesn't wear enough yellow; that she doesn't represent her character color well because all she wears is a yellow shirt. And the character designer in me wants to rip my teeth out whenever I hear this, because it blindly ignores the giant fairy-tale-inspired mass of yellow that is her hair, and the purposely attention-grabbing pops of yellow that make up Ember Celica. They're not "clothes", technically, but they're still part of the design! It's like saying a character with green skin can't represent the color green if all their clothes are black...without realizing that maybe their clothes are black BECAUSE they have green skin, in order to draw your attention to it...!! (╬▔皿▔)╯I just jifjkdsnfksahujknsjnfufh

...Anyway, anyway...the point is, it's difficult to take a character design with so much natural yellow in it and add yellow clothes and still have it read well. But because I like a challenge, I decided to take it on. I think the difference between the mustard leather and neon yellow hair is large enough to make it work, while still feeling casual enough for everyday wear. The champagne off-white she wears in her 'Hunter' outfit (which heavily inspired this) looks great, but it feels too 'classy' to me; like something specifically meant to dazzle the audience with her beauty for one special adventure, not for her to wear often.

On that note, my secondary mission with this design was just to make Yang look cute again, by following the structure of her V1 look, and even adding a little skirt on top of her battle shorts, which looks surprisingly natural considering she almost never wears one.

I don't know what happened in the canon to make the character designer forget the 'Yellow Beauty' part of her character concept; tbh even if her gender presentation gets more masculine she can still look pretty. Designs like Ozma, V7 Qrow and V4 Ren show that they understand this, but choose to cover Yang up in flavorless sheets of beige anyway. :T Making sure she always has a boob window isn't enough; the clothes themselves need to say something too.

Criticisms: ...Honestly, none? I think this might be solid. :> We'll see what happens when I draw it properly. I hope the white socks work out, because then she'll successfully be wearing the RWBY color scheme, which fits her (former, implied...) role as the glue holding the team together.

#rwby #yang xiao long #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #character design

[oneofthepowerful]

February 10th 2024 - Blog 2

Roughly every week or so, I would like to share some behind the scene progress of my series One of the Powerful, as it has been going through some developments, which we shall be discussing starting with this blog.

Rigging

After hand drawing two, over 10 minute animatic episodes. While storyboarding Episode 3 (which will be heavily action focused) I began thinking about how I could save time drawing as I noticed each episode taking longer and longer to make due to me being a one-man animation team. One of these ideas was creating 2D puppet rigs, that could allow me to pose characters like an action figure. And since I learned how to use control points to rig hair strands in Clip Studio Paint, I thought I could settle with that. As yes, it saves time, however since the program is very limited when it comes to puppet animation, being more of an illustration and frame by frame 2D animation software, I felt like there could be a better way to do what I felt would be best for this series.

I proceeded to study a few cartoons that I noticed used 2D rigged puppet animation, and looked into the software that some of the shows were made in. One that really interested me was Toon Boom Harmony, I saw that some people were able to give the appearance that a character is 3D by using controls even though it was all 2D, like this. I knew I wanted to learn something like this for my series, being able to pose a character’s head in different angles with some adjustment here and there would save so much time!! However, Toon Boom is WAYYY out of my budget sadly, but then I saw that Blender Grease Pencil and its rigging tools could give me a very similar if not the exact same result:

I’ve used Blender in the past, however only for creating basic camera movements for some of my animations. I had made a donut a couple of years ago but that was just about my experience with the program, my knowledge with Blender is very much limited. However, I was dedicated to try and give this whole rigging idea a chance so I proceeded to watch some tutorials to learn not only 2D rigging, but also Blender’s Grease Pencil, due to it being able to draw with vectors. Over a month later, I thought I’d share my progress:

After learning how to rig an eye, mouth and eyebrow to understand the basics of rigging; I noticed just how time consuming and tedious the whole process is, there is a lot of steps and A LOT of trial and error as anything can go wrong, it can take multiple rigging attempts to get the result you are after. But once you finish a rig, it’s such a rewarding time saver in the long run!

Once I understood the basics of rigging, for the past few weeks I have been chipping away at a 2D rig head turn, following this tutorial series! Using Hoshi as a test, since I thought he would be the easiest out of the main cast to rig, and well… that was until I was drawing out and rigging his hair - I had to really think about how each strand was all layering on top of one another and it was extremely time consuming, however I have got it mostly working now!

Currently, all of Hoshi’s facial features are rigged, this past week or so I’ve been rigging his mouth using what I learned rigging the last one. And it’s decent -but like most of the rig, it needs more refinement, being all a bit unpolished. I have also been having a lot of trouble rigging his lips, as they don’t deform the same way as the mouth rig, causing me having to place the lips manually, every time I change the mouth pose - which is a pain, so I’ve been trying to get it working with little luck at the time of writing. I also need to add in proper controls for the rig to make it more easier to animate, which will be done once everything is rigged and working as it should.

Down below, are some expression tests I did with Hoshi's rig, keep in mind these are all still a work in progress as I mentioned the rig is quite unpolished, however I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!! ^^

Concepts

While working on the rig, I have been making some minor rewrites, like adding more depth to events and characters in the story of OotP - which at this point in time I cannot speak much on due to heavy spoilers. However, Season 1 may end quite differently than originally planned, the ending being more polished and more organically linking things up, instead of things just coincidently happening. This all leading into season 2 more smoothly! ;)

Since I’ve been rigging, I’ve been thinking about character design a lot and thought since Episode 1 and 2 are likely going to be remade using 2D puppets for consistency sake. I’ve been wanting to slightly update some character designs, as I’ve barely changed the main casts' civilian designs since 2021 if memory serves me right, and there is somethings I want to change more with Cassidy and Hoshi’s designs - Erin’s design is fine for the time being, but I will change a few minor things like simplify their hair slightly for rigging, however their design changes will come up at a later date.

With Cassidy since she is based off a lion, I had her hair be in a braid to sorta resemble a lion tail.

However, for her new civilian design I’m considering having her hair more curly and bushy to fit her more happy, chaotic, bubbly personality, and to have it now sort of look like a lion’s mane? Then when she goes into her Powerful State (where a Powerful, someone who has magic, transforms to use their full abilities) I will have her hair transform in a long braid like before! Imagining the transformation for that is super fun!! 😀

I am also considering changing her outfit a little to be more casual and to have it easier to rig? I think changing her colour scheme to fit more with her blonde hair and the whole lion resemblance would be cool, however I might leave that for her powerful state outfit? I’m still figuring out her outfit, but I like the bright colours of the middle illustration (down below) as it fits her loud, outgoing personality!!

Also did you know that once a Powerful’s magic awakens (this can happen from when they are a child, like Erin’s case, or when they are a teen like Hoshi) it can sometimes alter their appearance when in their civilian form or "disguise", most commonly their hair. For an example, Cassidy used to have dark hair, however once her magic awakened, her hair changed to blonde. However everyone in this world, Powerless or not can be born with any hair colour, or people can choose to dye it. :D

Onto Hoshi, I have drawn some expression tests, being reference for the rig!

While working on Cassidy’s redesign sketches I thought I’d tweak Hoshi’s outfit a little as well. Without spoiling much, Hoshi wants to become as unnoticeable as possible, like he doesn’t exist (at least in his civilian design). When I designed Hoshi a few years back, I didn’t really flesh out his past or motivations all that much. So now looking at his current design, the contrasting colours of red and green could symbolise his messed up mental and physical state, but I’m not sure how much it really fits him outside of that, and I think the colours also stand out a bit too much for what Hoshi wants. So I’ve been thinking of toning his outfit's colour palette down a bit. I still don’t know if I will get rid of his red jacket as that has stuck with him since the very start back in 2020:

For rigging, you really want to avoid placing details on joints, and I knew that Hoshi’s knee ripped jeans would most likely make things quite complicated, so I am going to also play around with different designs for that in the near future!!

Down below are a couple of colour variations of a sketch from a potential updated Hoshi design:

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this!! I hope these blogs provide more insight on the progress of the series behind the episodes!!

Thank you all very much for reading! ^^

#Youtube #oc #web series #indie #orginal character #animation #blender 3d #2d rig #2d rigging #kritaart #original character #character design #update

[dalish-rogue]

messy sketch of my two favorite boys because if I wait to post until I ACTUALLY finish something, it’ll never see the light of day

#fenders #anders #fenris #dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #my art #i am only capable of scribbly sketches #and drawing the same two characters in basically the same pose every few months #otp ❤️

[qqueenofhades]

The photo set you reblogged of Yusuf and Niccolo helping throughout time just filled me with so many happy feels and it made me realize that it seems so common in media with immortal couples that they take breaks from each other and reconnect after a few decades. Which is a great trope but seeing these two that seems to have been attached at the hip since the day they met just fills me with all the heart eyes.

(I haven't read your fanfics for them yet. I know I'm a bad fan but if it helps I havent been able to read anything since all this started but while writing this ask I got the feeling that all this rambling I spewed out is a big theme)

Hush. Bad fan nothing. We all are coping with this stupid, awful year in different ways, some of us by escaping into fandom and some of us being unable to engage with it and some of us doing both or anything else. You certainly don’t owe me or anyone any obligation to interact with our content, fic or otherwise. So just to have that there on the top. You’re good, hun. :)

ANYWAY, thank you for giving me a chance to meta a bit on the boys and their relationship and to have a window into what my brain looks like pretty much 24/7 these days. (I blame them.) I keep thinking about all the ways this couple is depicted in the TOG film and how lovely it was and how unusual it is for me to have an OTP where I actually love them in canon and don’t need to violently disavow it in order to create AU fan content with just the characters. (See: Timeless, Game of Thrones, pretty much any show I’ve hyperfixated on at some point.) I love AUs anyway, because that’s the way my brain works, but the fact that I can also enjoy canon just as much is rare for me and for a lot of us. I saw a post somewhere remarking on how the fanfic for Joe/Nicky isn’t fixing anything, which is usually the point of transformative fanworks: we take something that canon atrociously fucked up and fix it. But in this case, all our interpretations are based on actually appreciating the way they’re presented in canon and wanting to enjoy that and uphold it, and that -- especially with a couple like this one -- is shocking??

Like. Despite my historian gripes about the occasionally incongruous details for their graphic-novel backstories (which are the only things I HAVE fixed in my fics), I’m just... deeply appreciative of the care which everyone, writers and actors and all else, put into depicting Joe and Nicky and their relationship. And god YES, one of the things I love the absolute MOST is that they’re a loving, faithful, committed, happy married queer couple over centuries, and that seems to be the case for as long as they’ve known each other/ever since they got together. (See Booker’s “you and Nicky always had each other.”) These fools can’t sleep apart from each other even when they’re stuck on a freight train in the middle of nowhere, they flirt like teenagers at dinnertime and even when they’re strapped to gurneys in a mad-scientist laboratory, they make out to enrage bad guys and also because they’re just still that goddamn into each other after all this time.

I think it was Marwan Kenzari who pointed out that there’s simply no way to truly state the depth of their knowledge and devotion and commitment to each other. They’re 950 years old. They have known each other since they were in their thirties; they’ve been husbands for literal centuries. There is no way anyone else in the world could possibly come close to replicating the kind of bond they have with each other, and neither of them have ever had any inclination to look, because why would they? Especially with the fact that queer couples in media, even otherwise sympathetically portrayed ones, often have Drama and Third Parties and Promiscuity and whatever else (because of the tiresome old canard that Gays Equal Hypersexualized!), and Joe and Nicky don’t need or want ANY of that. There’s no urge to make their relationship a cheap source of soap-opera conflict. It’s the rock and the center and the core of both of their lives, and everything they do stems from that.

There have been some great metas/comments on how neither Joe and Nicky are sexualized, they dress like stay-at-home dads during quarantine (Marwan Kenzari and Luca Marinelli are both objectively gorgeous men, and they’re out there looking like that, god bless), and the viewer is never invited to goggle at or fetishize their relationship. There are no leering or exploitative camera angles on anyone, and their expressions of love aren’t posed or intended to titillate the audience, they’re just solidly embodied and natural and lived in. It’s never bothered to be stated clunkily in dialogue that they’re a couple; we just see them exchanging looks and smiles in the early part of the film, and then we see them spooning on the train after the mission in Sudan, which confirms it.

At every turn, the narrative celebrates the kindness and love shared by the Immortal Family, the individual characters, and Joe and Nicky, especially and explicitly in queer form. The villains of the film are also defined by how they react negatively to that love. @viridianpanther​ had a great meta on how Keane as a villain is especially set up to menace Joe and Nicky as the narrative representation of toxic masculinity, aggressive heterosexuality, and the usual “Kill Your Gays” trope that we’ve all come to wearily expect. But instead, after that scene where Joe and Nicky fight Keane, Nicky is shot and comes back to life in Joe’s arms rather than dying permanently like we probably all momentarily expected, and then Joe gets to FUCKIN’ BREAK THE NECK of the guy who enacted that violence.... good GOD. The first time I watched it, I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. (This goes for the whole film, but especially that scene.) Like... when do we get that?? When do we EVER get that???

Obviously, there are so many stereotypes, whether visually or in behavior or character traits, that could have been assigned to a gay Italian character (excessively dramatic, effeminate, fashionable, etc) or a gay Arabic/Muslim character (explicitly announcing He’s Not Like Those Muslims, having to actively reject his heritage to make him more palatable to westerners, being tormented over being gay, etc) and Joe and Nicky subscribe to none of those. I get very emotional about Joe referring to Nicky as the moon when he is lost during the truck scene partly because it’s SUCH a common motif in Arabic love poetry. To call someone your “moon” is a beautiful way to say they’re the light of your life, and since the Islamic calendar is obviously lunar and the holidays, months, and observances, are set by the phases of the moon, this also has a deeper religious significance.

I don’t know for sure if they did that on purpose, but it it’s a lovely and subtle way of showing us how Joe clearly doesn’t have an issue with being both queer AND Muslim, and is able to draw on both facets of that identity in a way that a lesser narrative would have denied him. And that is just really wonderful. Yes, we’re seeing these characters when they’ve had centuries to settle into themselves, but there are plenty of writers who would have forced those conflicts artificially to the surface, rather than letting them be long in the past. It’s the same way when you watch a film set in the medieval era, it wants you to know that it Is Set In The Medieval Era. Cue the filth, misogyny, racism, violence, etc! Rather than it being a lived-in reality, it has to be jarringly drawn attention to, and I’m just so glad they didn’t do that with Joe and Nicky. And for them to have met in the crusades and fallen in love??! Come on. That’s just rude. Rude to me, personally.

Anyway, this was a rather long-winded and feelsy way of saying that these characters are constructed, acted, and written organically in such a way that you hate to even THINK of them being separated, and it’s not because they can’t function without each other, but because they are two halves of a whole. We also see that the characters themselves can’t stand being forced apart: Joe’s freakout in the truck scene when Nicky briefly won’t wake up, Nicky making sure to tell Joe that he’s glad he’s awake in the lab, the whole post-Keane fight scene that I talked about above, the way Nicky fights ferociously to get to Joe when Merrick’s stabbing him, etc. For that to be given to the queer couple, where the strength of their love and devotion is reinforced as one of the emotional goals of the story, and for that queer couple to be written in the way that Joe and Nicky are, both individually and as a unit, is just so very rare.

Because yes, there’s plenty of drama and angst and pain in their lives, but there’s none at all in their relationship, and that’s what fans keep telling TV writers the whole time: they WANT to see the couple confront things as a unit, rather than being kept on tenterhooks the whole time and forced to go through manufactured or artificial drama. It would feel especially wrong for Joe and Nicky, who have known and loved each other for 900 years. The fact that their respective actors also put so much care and love into them is very obvious, and makes me feel even luckier that they’re played by people who clearly get them and honor them and know what they’re doing.

Basically: of course Joe and Nicky have been with each other the whole time, and of course we’re all drowning in feelings over it, and I feel very blessed that this ship exists, and I very much need the sequel ASAP. Thanks.

#the old guard meta #joe x nicky #immortal husbands #long post #roseoswiins #ask

[bittervitter]

ang0mang0′s “copycat” claims

I didn’t want to have to make another post about this, but since people on sonicfan799 / thatAnge / @ang0mang0′s Tumblr profile are getting riled up about this ridiculous drama that should have died ages ago, I figured I’d defend myself. Some people who are trying to support me have been saying incorrect things too, so I also wanted to clear that up. This crap has been going on for months, everyone is sick of it by now. Instead of being brief like I did for other social medias, I’ll be as detailed as possible this time.

[1] “she’s copying/imitating/heavily referencing from my art style!!!”

Like people have said a million times, no I’m not. And nor is anyone else. Just because someone draws the Sonic characters in a similar style to you does not automatically mean they took, copied or “stole” those ideas from you. You don’t own the concept of buff, fluffy bodies or chubby muzzles. COINCIDENCE, as much as you hopelessly deny it, is very much a possible thing- even in crazy situations such as this. There are several other artists who have similar art styles by mere coincidence. IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE. As examples, these Instagram artists have similar styles: @ azulytoons and @ indigonite0 / @ magenta_mel and @ zer0finix / @ himemikal and @ natirix. NONE of these artists are “stealing” or referencing from each other- they just have similar art styles, and that is perfectly okay! They draw completely different things with completely different mindsets. The world does not revolve around you, ang0. Not everyone knows who you are, so some people who use the same traits that we do don’t even know we exist.

Also, to anyone unaware, an art STYLE is not merely how one chooses to portray a character. An art STYLE is also what brushes you use, how you sketch, how you line, how you colour, how you shade, how you choose to portray certain objects or ideas- basically your entire fucking understanding of how something’s supposed to look and how you LIKE it to look. It’s not just “chubby faces, poofy curly hair, buff bodies”. It’s everything in a piece AND that.

[2] “she’s tracing my art/ redrawing my ideas!”

Literally no. People have constantly asked you to provide evidence and you refused to. All you did was scream “but it’s so obvious, just look at it!” or “are you dumb? use your eyes!” and several other insults. If you want to prove a point or make someone see something, GIVE. EVIDENCE. The only person who actually provided “proof” was pin_kpeach, your ever so loyal whiteknight, but her “proof” only backfired and proved that the both of you are extremely delusional. In the drawings of ours that she layered over each other, next to NONE of the lines lined up. It looked like a clustered mess of scrap, and the reason for that is because IT WASN’T TRACED. In the one or two drawings where ONE. SINGLE. PIECE. actually lined up was entirely zoomed in to make it seem as though the whole thing was traced. No, honey, that’s not how you provide proof. That’s how you pull a muscle by reaching so desperately to lie about me. The rest of the drawings in those pictures didn’t line up at all, and one- or I believe both- needed to be titled to line them up in the first place. You could say that some people trace things and resize or rotate them, but if I were as dumb as you persist to say, then I wouldn’t have done something like that. Either way, one aspect of a drawing lining up is a common thing for people who have similar styles because- well, I just said it. THEY HAVE SIMILAR STYLES. If they draw something the same way, well fucking duh, it’ll match someone else’s drawing almost exactly sometimes.

[3] “she’s too petty and too much of a liar to credit me! saying the art isn’t hers will hurt her oversized ego!”

Ahaha no. The only one here with an inflated ego is you, ang0. You call me the egotistical one yet you act as though your life is falling apart just because someone else draws like you on the internet. Stop acting like a special snowflake, you are not the only one on this planet with an art style of that nature. I don’t credit you because crediting you makes no damn sense. Why should I credit someone who’s had absolutely no impact on my work whatsoever? What in the hell did you do for my drawings that makes you deserve so much credit? Did you sketch it? No. Did you line it? Nope. Did you colour or shade it? Not a chance. Just because I came up with a design for the characters that happens to look like yours does not mean I owe you jack shit. You cannot. own. a style. Get over it.

[4] “she worsened my depression and is the reason I can’t draw anymore! I have no motivation when there’s some idiot copycat stealing all my art!”

I don’t want to sound like that kind of person, but you worsened your own depression. You painted this false picture in your head and continue to hang onto that belief like your life depends on it. I haven’t done ANYthing to you. You came to ME with these stupid claims back when my art looked LESS like yours, before I even knew who you were. You’re making yourself feel horrible because you, for some paranormal reason, refuse to believe that you’re not the only one with that kind of style. This is why people call you childish, you’re like a whiny baby that can’t accept another child having a toy similar to yours. I can’t even decide whether I should say “grow up” because you’re older than me- not to mention you’re an ADULT.

[5]”she constantly sends her whiteknights to attack me, harass me and send me threatening messages!”

I’ve said several times to my followers NOT to harass you or your followers or anyone against me in this mess at all. I do not send anyone after you. People say things to you out of their own free will and with their own words. I can’t magically know when this happens, why they decide to and I especially can’t control anyone. I’m sorry that my friend Koro sent you all those DMs and horrible messages wishing a lot of very bad things onto you and your family- I asked her several times before and after not to do that, but I didn’t have a clue she did it until after the fact. Either way, don’t go around assuming that I put people up to this or I intentionally ask people to do these things to you. Why in the hell would I do that? What good does that do? All I wanted to do was talk things out but at this point, you don’t even take me seriously, so I can’t even try anymore. The few times we did talk you refuse to see my point of view and just see me as a liar. What the hell am I supposed to do then?

[6]”all vio does is lie, she’s so fake all the time, lying for her petty ego”

I’m not even sure how to respond to this but I thought I might as well bring it up. No matter what I do or say, ang0 sees me as nothing but some retarded liar that can’t help but lie their way around everything, even though I’ve been nothing but genuine all this time. It’s why I can’t even communicate with her anymore, because “shut up, stop lying you copycat” is all I get in response basically.

[7] her insane hypocrisy

Ange and pin_kpeach have said numerous times that I’m rude or insult her, and there have been times where I’ve been mean out of anger, but I know for a fact I apologized for it in DMs. Ange apologized too. I don’t remember ever insulting her after that, but ang0 doesn’t ever stop ridiculing and insulting me with almost every comment she makes on the drama. If she really was sorry, she wouldn’t have done it again, but I guess she said “fuck it” and just continued anyway. Pin_kpeach likes to say I’M the hypocrite for saying Ange is harassing me yet being rude to her a couple times, yet they do they exact same thing, but even worse?? I try my best to be as civil as possible, but ang0 and pink don’t waste a second calling me and my supporters all sorts of colourful names just because they don’t agree with her claims. In fact, here’s a list of every single thing ang0’s ever called me:

retarded, retard, stupid, idiot, dumb, low IQ, mentally ill, crazy, talentless, skill-less, copycat, art thief, (dumb) cow, fuckhole, asshole, bitch, wanna-be artist, unreasonable, clown, fake, liar, hypocrite, delusional, dick, stalker, bittershitter, dumbass, immature

There’s probably more than that, but that’s as much as I can remember. Not hard to forget when she repeats them almost all the time.

[8] gatekeeping ideas

Ange and pink act as if two people drawing a character in the same outfit automatically equals “du bist kopying mein style!!”. I can’t even begin to imagine the mental gymnastics you need to do in order to believe a thought process like that is logical. She thinks that anyone who draws Amy in a dress with a white under-skirt or white ruffles underneath is nothing but a copied idea from her. She thinks that me drawing Amy in a green tank top, blue backwards cap and blue sports shorts is copying her drawing of Amy in a green unidentifiable top (you could only see her back, she didn’t seem to have straps) and blue sports shorts with a slightly different design is automatically copied from her. The poses, shading, angle and idea behind the drawing were COMPLETELY different- but nonono, “this is stolen because the outfit is the same!” They also use the excuse of the whole chubby faces, curly hair, blah blah blah- see point [1] as to why that’s BS.

[9] her perception of my followers/supporters

Aside from Koro, I don’t know if anyone has seriously threatened or harassed her. Her followers comment on my posts, my followers only comment when she brings up the drama or whines about it. She insults my supporters when they don’t agree with her and act like they’re a bunch of immature brats who are wrong while she’s the high and mighty mature one seeing through non-existent lies. I’m used to her making fun of me, but I’m sick and tired of her insulting people who have nothing to do with the drama just because they don’t agree with her. Like, seriously? You call everyone immature and stupid yet you’re the one insulting people non-stop just because they realize how ridiculous and childish you’re acting. That’s why “childish” has become a popular adjective for you, ang0. BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING CHILDISH. CONSTANTLY. You get pissy, insult others and put people down but whine and cry the next minute because you constantly like to play the victim. Speaking of which...

[10] the victim card

I have absolutely no idea what ang0 goes through in real life, but there is no excuse for how she’s behaved during this drama AT ALL. Ange constantly defames her own artwork, calling it shit, calling it every bad name in the book, but doesn’t hesitate for a minute to gatekeep her style as if it was the best thing in the world. She says it’s because she “worked her ass off” and doesn’t want people just stealing her hard work. Okay, but you do realize that other people put just as much work into their own art, no matter if it looks like yours or not, right? She demands that people change their style to stop looking like hers, acting as if that can be done in a matter of minutes, because people having similar styles makes her uncomfortable. Well, surprise motherfucker- welcome to the internet. No one is original and everyone is original at the same time. People are bound to come up with similar ideas and you’re just going to have to deal with it. But despite the similarities, people are still original in their own right. If you believe that people can change a style so easily, why not just change your OWN style? Because you worked your ass off? Well, THEY WORKED THEIR ASS OFF TOO. So don’t act like you’re the only one who’s put effort into their craft. Art is hard, and that applies to EVERYONE- even professionals.

You blame me and other “copycats” for all your problems, blaming us for worsening your depression, ruining your passion for art- when you’re the only one who does this to yourself. Yes, there have been genuine art thieves in your life, and people who have stolen your art- but what I’m talking about are the people like me who DON’T steal your art or are merely inspired by you. People who say “you should be happy they’re inspired!” aren’t saying “you should be happy they’re copying!”. They’re saying that you should be glad that your work is so inspiring that people create their own unique ideas based off your own. Inspiration doesn’t require credit unless they’re purposefully taking a massive part of the original. But being inspired by a hair style or even a pose isn’t stealing. It’s inspiration, that’s it. I’m not inspired by you at all, but I can at least appreciate your art- even if you think I’m just being fake.

[11] ang0mang0′s history and why this shit doesn’t even make sense

Ange has said publicly and to me in detail about how she’s been accused of the same “art style theft” in the past. From what I’ve gathered or heard, people used to accuse her of copying a popular artist called myly14 who’s Sonic art is pretty much everywhere. Whether it be in edits, MVs or whatever else.  Looking at her old art when she went under the name sonicfan799, her art does look similar to myly’s, but ang0 insisted that she didn’t copy myly and didn’t even know who she was. She legit said “it’s not my fault my art looks like someone else’s”, so basically- it was coincidence. She said she changed her art style because she “isn’t an asshole and didn’t want to make the other artist uncomfortable”, even though art style theft isn’t a thing and no one needs to be forced out of a style just because someone else already draws that way. I have no idea what myly’s stance on that situation was, but the fact that it happened just proves how stupid her current claims are.

Ange says that her style is “too complex” to be coincidentally similar to someone else’s, even though the fact that it’s happened 30 times (according to her) just proves that no, ang0, no it fucking isn’t. Your style isn’t complicated at all. Detailed sure, but no style is too complicated to be similar to another’s. Being complex doesn’t make something any less likely to be identical to another complex style.If you didn’t copy myly14 in the past, what right do you have to accuse me of the same damn thing? If I really am copying you, then you have to admit to copying myly, because you can’t just lie about your past and then shit on me for doing the same thing. So it’s either you stop this nonsense or you drag this drama down with you to your grave and admit you copied myly14.

Another thing, myly14 didn’t even have a “simple” style. The fact that her art was almost instantly recognizable and popular meant that she had a signature style that stood out. Yes, she used a lot of the original Sonic style’s anatomy, but her stylization of said anatomy, her shading and the way she composed her pieces gave her a signature style. The most stylized thing I could see was how she drew muzzles, and guess who drew muzzles in a similar way as well? You did. People saw how your way of drawing faces and some parts of the body and thought it looked liked myly’s. The similarities in your anatomy, and not your shading or colouring, was what made people think you copied her. That exact same thing is happening between me and you. My shading, colouring and composition is entirely different from yours, but some parts of the anatomy are similar.

If you really didn’t copy myly14, you have absolutely no. fucking. excuse. to accuse me of the EXACT. SAME. SHIT. that happened to you.

You never needed or deserved to be pressured out of your old style just because people thought it looked similar to someone else’s, and that’s why I refuse to change my style now. Because it isn’t. fucking. fair. To ANYONE.

[12] how I feel (this is copied over from my DeviantART)

At this point I've grown used to what she has to say, but it still hurts. She thinks that I'm some kind of cartoon villain maniacally laughing behind a computer screen every time I post something because she's so deep into her belief that I really copy everything she draws and that nothing I've never posted has any true effort put into it. She genuinely believes she owns all my art and that I devote my entire gallery into recreating her image or some crazy shit like that. It sounds really dumb, but from what I've read from her poorly constructed comments and rants, that's basically what she believes.

She thinks I don't care at all about how all this affects her or anyone at all, but I do. It doesn't just hurt me in the sense that she makes me feel awful with all her insults, but I just feel so bad for her. I feel guilty in the sense that I couldn't do anything at all to help her, not that "shes prolly feeling guilty and made that april fools joke to let out some guilt!!". (If you don’t know, on April Fools Day, I changed my Instagram bio to say “clown” and call myself “the ultimate copycat” as a joke.) That was a really stupid reaction from her by the way... who the hell comes up with that? Now that she's going away for a month, I feel even worse because all I wanted to do was try to make her come to her senses and end this mess. I thought I could talk some sense into her- that didn't work. Her delusions are so strong, she's like a brick wall. I thought I could ignore the drama- that didn't work. She "clowns" and talks about it so annoyingly often. Not to mention people do things on their own to stir shit up. I thought I could support her regardless and maybe try making her feel better about her art- that didn't work. She thinks I'm fake and that everything I say is a lie. Because of me, she probably doesn't believe other people too- and that makes me feel even more terrible.

No matter what I do, I'm automatically the villain and she's the tortured, helpless artist that everyone is against because "everyone is dumb, supporting a copycat" and she's just "used to it, because she's dealt with so much shit already!". It's so ridiculous. If she would just try to actually better herself or the situation, she wouldn't feel so horrible all the time. Like... for god's sake, she relied on a video game to make her happy- that's not healthy, and just like I suspected, it didn't fucking work.

more of how I feel

Because of ang0, I just feel like garbage. My self esteem and confidence in my art was already low. Thanks to her, I don’t feel original (or as original) anymore- and I’m afraid to show many of my new or old ideas because she or her whiteknight pin_kpeach may spring out and say “copycat! stolen! you’re not original!” and a plethora of other insults. I can barely sketch or draw Sonic content without panicking and feeling worthless because all I have is her words and her opinions stuck in my head. She blames me for her demotivation and shit like that when she’s done the same thing to me. She thinks I don’t care about her or her art, when I do, but when I say that, she calls me fake. In reality, ang0 couldn’t give a damn about me and I’m pretty sure she’d be happy if I were dead. She has said before that she doesn’t care if I killed myself soo... there’s that. Anyway lemme not drag my feelings out too long, I just thought I’d say it to anyone willing to listen since her immediate response would’ve been “fake, liar” etc, etc. I really don’t want anyone to feel bad for me or anything like that, I just want people to listen and understand. That’s all.

a final note

I’m really thankful- like, REALLY thankful- for everyone who’s been on my side throughout this. I don’t like picking sides, and I’d hate to make people do so, but there doesn’t seem to be any in between to this at all. It’s either you believe I’m copying her or you don’t.  Most people don’t- thank goodness for that- but some do. And there’s nothing I can do about it. At this point, whatever man.

Please please PLEASE do not harass ang0. Don’t threaten her, don’t insult her, don’t do anything rash or fucking illegal. It’s all fair game if you want to POLITELY SPEAK to her, or try to start a discussion, but please don’t do anything stupid. And especially don’t do things in my name. If you want to debate with me or her, do research first- don’t just jump to conclusions or make assumptions.If you want nothing to do with this drama, then simply don’t say anything- just be aware of what’s going on, that’s all I ask. So nobody gets the wrong idea on either side.

Sorry for this being so long, I think I’m done for now.

Thank you if you read the whole thing.

[9.4.2020]

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good - 6

Chapter 6: Take Your Troubles and Double Them

Okay so it’s a long time coming but here it is! I took so long writing this because honestly I was just super burned out and dreading writing it. So a part of this was written in small increments, but then today I actually wanted to write, so I sat down and -imagine this- just wrote it. Now I know I just did a fic where characters get injured but well... If two characters are two halves of a whole, the perfect yin and yang to each other, when the one gets hurt should not the other also get hurt? ...and I needed it for plot reasons because we’re finally to the point in this story where I’m storyboarding. Anyway, I hope it’s up to snuff since I actually edited this time.

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr @youreasnack @alioop3818

Wordcount: 

Warnings: Extremely dark themes. Violence against children. Death and murder. Death of children. Torture. 

“Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain.”

-Patrick Rothfuss

           You were sitting in the bullpen, working on not working. Technically you were supposed to be writing up reports, but it was early April and everybody had spring fever. There wasn’t a single member of the BAU who was actually doing what they were supposed to except maybe Hotch.

“Hey, Garcia, I’ve got a fun fact for you,” you said.

“Am I going to like it or is it about serial killers?”

“You’re going to like it.”

“Then fire away!” Garcia beamed at you.

“Did you know that the average human needs at least 8 hugs a day to maintain oxytocin levels?”

Garcia looked like the cat that ate the canary. “So what you’re saying is…it’s actually beneficial for me to declare group hug time!”

Immediately she latched onto you with an enthusiasm that could only be achieved by one Penelope Garcia, and with a glare that dared the rest of the team not to come join in.

Some people might be surprised that Spencer was the first to join, but the people who knew him knew better. While the Doctor might seem stiff and awkward from afar, once he got comfortable with people he could be quite warm and affectionate. It just might take a few months or…years. Either way Spencer had no reservations about snuggling into you, and his head was a surprisingly good fit on your shoulder.

It didn’t take the rest of the team long to join in, cocooning you in an envelope of human warmth.

“Does this count as my eight hugs for the day since there’s like, a dozen people hugging me right now?”

“There are exactly 6 people hugging your right now and no,” Spencer said. “It has to be chest to chest contact to count as a full hug.”

“So this counts as no hugs?” You asked, disappointed.

“Don’t worry sugar plum, I’d be more than happy to provide you with an unlimited supply. Whenever you need a hug you just let me know,” Garcia said, patting you on the head as the group hug disbanded.

Not a moment too soon either as Hotch walked in to announce a new case. Nothing like murder to raise your oxytocin levels.

 Hotch made the briefing short and sweet, as he always did. There was a series of child abductions happening in Pennsylvania, which meant time was of the essence now more than ever.

“This unsub is escalating at a rate we couldn’t have possibly foreseen. He’s quickly getting desperate and has already shown himself to be deeply unpredictable. Amongst his victims is now 22-year-old Alicia, a nanny to one of the children he abducted. This unsub will go through anything or anyone to achieve his goal, and the murder of Alicia Bennet shows no signs of remorse anywhere in the body positioning or methodology. Wheels up in 10.”

You could feel the panic hit you like a shot of whiskey, burning in the pit of your stomach. You tried to control it though. Panic always came with this job, but it was harder with unsubs like this. Fast moving and unpredictable and ruthless. Something in you knew before you ever stepped foot on the jet that this one would haunt your nightmares.

Spence noticed your distress immediately, finding it in the jittery way you grabbed your go-bag and the shaking hands that made you a cup of tea on the plane before you sat down by yourself to think while the rest of the team brainstormed. After giving his contributions, he was quick to join you.

“It’s eating you alive, isn’t it?” He asked.

You looked up at those soft brown eyes and knew there was no use lying to him. He always knew exactly what you were feeling. You communicated in a language you didn’t even know, in the quirk of his mouth and the skim of his fingertips and the curve of your spine and the whispers of your breathing. A tacet tryst all your own.

“I don’t like time crunches.”

He accepts that as an answer and an end to the conversation. Except there is never an end to your conversations anymore. The silence just stretches into a requiem of every word between the two of you, a living, breathing thing still. Which means there is nothing awkward about you interrupting it, because the conversation is still going.

“Do you ever wish you’d just…taken a gap year? Or several gap years? You certainly had the time.” You laugh a little bit.

Spencer’s answer is fast enough that you know already what he will say.

“I thought about it once. After everything with my Mom…I almost did.”

“So what stopped you?”

“Well I brought up the idea to my Mom and her reaction was basically that I would give up what I loved over her dead body.” Spence huffed a smile, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “What about you? You had the time to take a gap year too. Why not?”

You leaned back against the smooth leather of the jet seat behind you.

“I thought about it. When I was 16 I had this brief ambition to take a gap year to be an occupational therapists assistant.”

“That’s not even a real gap year!” Spencer elbowed you teasingly before going serious again. “So why didn’t you?”

“Well to say my parents thought it was the worst idea I’d ever had would be an understatement. I pitched them the whole scheme, you know? I would go and get my associates degree and then I could use that to get the job and train for a year then help pay my way through college while I was getting my psychology degree. They said that if I stopped for a year though I would never go back to school and get my bachelor’s and then it would all be a waste. So, here I am.”

Spencer was quiet for a moment, thoughtful as he always was. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to go after your dreams.”

“It’s okay. I’m happy to be here, so it all turned out for the best.”

Hesitantly, Spencer’s hand came to rest over yours on the armrest. “I’m happy you’re here too.”

You turned your face away from him, but you were unable to stop your eyes flicking back to him, your breath coming too fast for a different reason now. There were certain lines that coworkers just didn’t cross, and you and Spencer…you had been skirting those lines for quite a while. This was just a new way to push the limits.

 You should have known right away that it would be a bad idea to try to go undercover. There was a reason you didn’t go undercover in your line of work, the reason being it was stupid. But the best way to catch this guy might just be to masquerade as a nanny for a child that you were almost certain he would target. What made you so certain? Well, she was his after all.

Eventually, Garcia had pieced together enough clues to determine that your killer was a Mr. Derek Mayner and that he had a young daughter who had been adopted by an upper middle-class family. Her mother had hid her existence from him, but you could only assume he had found out since the girl’s mother had been killed when she was only two in a way that fit your killer’s style all too well. Unfortunately for Mayner but fortunately for Gina, his daughter, he was put in prison shortly after that for drug possession and a series of other crimes including aggravated assault and a few other more minor charges. Once Garcia discovered that it was easy to draw a connection between the girls who looked eerily like Mayner’s daughter, as well as Alicia Bennet’s resemblance to her mother, the chilling cherry on top of this case.

Gina’s adopted parents had agreed to let you pose as a nanny, as the other option was leaving their daughter almost entirely unguarded against her serial killer father. You had been the obvious pick from the team as you were the only one who was young enough to be a truly believable nanny. And who would suspect sweet little you was hiding a gun inside your purse?

In theory, everything should have gone off without a hitch. The adopted parents would go out for dinner at the same time they always did on Saturday, their standing date, leaving you with Gina. You would be wired, and so when the unsub broke into the house trying to abduct the sweet 4-year-old girl in your care you would speak your codeword and the team would come back you up while you got Gina to safety.

In theory, the unsub didn’t take you by surprise.

In theory, the unsub didn’t come out of nowhere and shove you into a glass coffee table.

In theory, your mic didn’t break.

In theory, you didn’t get abducted with a 4-year-old girl you were supposed to protect.

Everything was better in theory.

 You came to groggily, trying to gain your bearings. Everything hurt but breathing especially. The first thing you realized was that you had probably broken a rib. Well, not you. Derek Mayner had broken your rib. Wait…the unsub. Where was Gina?

You looked around in a panic, causing a sharp, stabbing pain to shoot through your chest before you caught sight of her. She was slumped unconscious just off to your right, and it looked like her tiny little body had been drugged. Something to keep her docile while Daddy dearest kidnapped her.

She stirred slightly, coming out of her drugged haze slowly. She blinked up at you with wide chocolate colored eyes for a moment before quickly bursting into tears. That was bad. That was very bad.

Before she could attract her father’s attention, you quickly pulled her into your lap, holding back a scream from the pain in your ribs.

“There now, it’s alright sweetheart.”

You doubted you looked like it was alright. You could feel the scratches littering your face and body, and you were sure there were some shards of glass stuck through your arms, fibers laced through your face. It didn’t get better when you failed to calm her.

“Take your hands off my daughter.” Mayner growled at you, slamming the door open.

“I’m just trying to calm her do-”

“I said take your hands off her!” He screamed, reaching around her to hit you.

The blow landed weakly, but the pain of it was increased by the injuries you had already sustained. It jarred Gina out of your arms, which only made her cry harder, her distress increasing. Mayner roared, furious.

“Look what you did!”

That was when your pain really began.

He dragged you out to a barn at the edge of the property, an abandoned house he had been keeping you and Gina in. Grabbing chains that implied a sickening amount of premeditation and perhaps more kills than you had given him credit for, he strung you up from the rafters, your toes barely dangling from the floor. With your broken ribs, the agony was unspeakable.

Mayner’s past kills had been fast, more business-like than most of the unsubs you dealt with. His primary focus had been getting his daughter, and his aggressive tendencies took a backseat to that. Now that he had her though, he was free to explore. And explore he did.

It seemed like the pain was never ending, exploding across your body. In the back of your mind you noted that it probably meant something that Mayner’s preferred weapons were knives, and he really liked stabbing. You clung to that, trying to escape to a different mindscape.

In your head, you were on the jet, discussing a case. Your case, since apparently you could only get so far removed from your current situation.

“Impotent, most likely,” Rossi said casually.

“That would explain the stabbing, but not the daughter. You think his impotency happened in the two-year gap where he was in jail?” Morgan asked.

“It’s possible.” Emily leaned forward in your mental rendition of the jet. “That would explain the obsession with his daughter. As far as he knows, she’s the only child he’ll ever have.”

“That makes sense. A man’s children are his legacy, and a man like Mayner would be obsessed with taking control of that.” Hotch nodded.

Mayner dragged the knife up your side, and your mental vision blurred red hot. You tried to focus, tried to bring it back, but it hurt. Gosh, it hurt so bad. You scrambled for any memory you could reach, any happier, higher place. Your brain supplied you with an unexpected one. You remembered Spencer telling you a story of when an old unsub he and Hotch had interrogated in jail tried to kill them. Spencer had talked him out of it by asking one simple question.

You took a jagged breath. “Do you want to know why you did it? Why you killed all those girls?”

Mayner froze, and a wild hope sprang up in you.

“I mean, that’s not like you, right? You’ve committed a lot of crimes, sure, but you’re not a murderer.”

If you could just string him out long enough, the team would come for you. You knew they would. They had to.

“I did it for my daughter. You wouldn’t understand.”

“But I think I do understand Derek. Because you didn’t have to kill all those little girls. But you did it anyway, didn’t you? And you liked it, right? I can tell you why if you just put the knife down.”

“What would you know about me? You’re just a nanny.” He spat in your face.

You tried to hold back your disgust, not to let any weakness show. “I’m a psychologist. I work for the FBI, and I was assigned to go undercover and protect your daughter. And do you know why they picked me? Because they knew, they knew that I would understand you Derek. That I’m the only one who can.”

“What do you know about me?” He demanded, lowering the knife ever so slightly.

“I know that it started with Gina’s mother, right? She was the first person you’d ever really killed. And when you did, there was such a rush, wasn’t there? You would do anything to get that kind of high again. It was better than the drugs, better than anything you’d ever done before. So then you wanted to do it again. But more than that, you wanted your daughter back. So what did you do? You went after your daughter, like any good father. But in the process, you couldn’t control your appetite, could you? You had to kill. But you could have killed anyone, anything. So what do we have to ask ourselves now?”

The barn exploded, and you could have cried with relief.

“FBI! Put the knife down now!” That was Morgan’s voice, strong and authoritative.

Derek didn’t put up much of a fight. Sure, he liked murdering people, but he also liked staying alive. You had broken before he was even cuffed.

Tears poured down your face, the excruciating pain and relief washing over you.

“Get me down,” you begged, a mantra rolling out of you over and over again. “Get me down. Get me down.”

It was Spencer who raced to your side, gently extricating you from your chains. Who caught you as you collapsed, yelping in pain.

“I need a medic here! Now!” Panic laced his voice, and you dimly registered that you had never heard Spencer this afraid before.

“G-Gina, is she?”

“She’s fine. Just breathe, okay? You’re going to be okay.” Spencer’s warm hands cupped your face, and you realized you were freezing.

“I’m, I’m okay Spence,” you tried to say through stuttering breaths. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Medic!” Spencer’s voice was a frantic demand now, but it was getting dimmer.

You vaguely registered Mayner, begging you for an answer as Morgan dragged him away.

“Why?” He asked. “Tell me why.”

You coughed, which hurt, but seemed to come secondary to the hot blood dripping down your chin. Summoning up all of your remaining strength, you looked Mayner in the eye in a last act of bravado.

“I have no idea.”

Then you passed out.

 You came to for the second time in what you guessed was 24 hours, except this time you were in a hospital wing.

“Mmmm,” you murmured quietly, shifting in your bed. “Is that morphine I feel?”

You heard Spencer chuckle to your left. “Actually, it’s fentanyl. They tried to give you morphine, but I convinced them fentanyl would be better.”

“And by that he means he bullied the poor nurse into giving you the good drugs,” Garcia said from your other side.

You laughed weakly, but that definitely still hurt. Guess the drugs could only do so much.

“Okay Penelope, you’re going to have to stop being funny now because that hurt.”

It seemed you had unintentionally caused the blonde distress as tears sprang to her eyes and she leaned forward to give you a very gentle makeshift hug.

“Oh, I’m just so happy you’re okay! Spencer’s been sleeping in hospital chairs for the past two days and we were all so worried! About you, obviously, not him, although we were kind of worried about him too because he already slouches so much and-”

“Spencer!” You frowned over at him. “Go home.”

“No.”

“Yes. You’ve been sleeping here for two days? That’s insane. You’re going home and you’re going to take a bath or shower, whichever you prefer, and then you’re going to eat some real non-hospital food, and then you’re going to sleep for 9 hours in a real bed.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Spencer protested.

“Which was all well and good when I was asleep and flirting with death, but now I’m awake and I feel fine. Which means you need to go take care of yourself.”

“But what if they try to give you morphine instead of fentanyl? Or what if they don’t run the right tests or they miss something that I would have seen or what if-”

You precariously turned so that you were facing him better, wincing slightly as you did so. “Or what if you went home and rested and let Garcia and the rest of the team take good care of me, and then you came back tomorrow?”

“She’s right, boy wonder. In your current state of delusionalness, you wouldn’t be able to catch anything the doctors supposedly missed anyway. Come on, I’m having Morgan drive you home.”

Before he could complain further, Penelope ushered him out of your hospital room, leaving you alone with the strong scent of hand sanitizer and latex gloves, under the bright white lights that were sure to give you a migraine if you kept staring at them. So you turned to the only other option left. You closed your eyes, stopped staring at the cursed lights, and went to sleep.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart.”

-Fyodor Dostoevsky

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fic #matthew gray gubler #mgg #tw: violence #tw: mention of drugs #tw: torture #tw: death #tw: child death

[astranne]

The adventures of Diana Thorsdottir-Danvers -An AU

Another idea. But this is an AU to a twoshot I wrote some time ago on Wattpad. It’s in german, but I summon it for you. 

After Infinity War, Thor’s depressed and Carol helps him out. They both go to space, Brunhilde becomes the queen of New Asgard. Long story short, Thor and Carol come together, fight against Kree, have a child and because the universe is screwed up thanks to Thanos, she becomes pregnant, makes some timetravel without knowing it and gives birth to a girl. Diana Thorsdottir-Danvers. She has  the same powers like her parents, but because she’s half asgardian, her powers of her mother are even stronger than Carols. Anyway. Diana is a sweet girl, grows up faster because of Thanos and her being an asgardian. So she’s in her late teenage ages, when her parents fight against Thanos and she suddendly disapears. In my story on Wattpad, she lands on Olympus, meets all the gods and after some drama and all, she comes together with Apollo. Her parents find her again, meet the gods, Thor and Zeus try to kil each other, Carol steps in and yeah. Diana becomes then the wife of Apollo and such. 

Now. In this AU, everything happens the same, but when she disapears, she lands in the DC universe. She knows, it’s not her earth, bc of her smart suit (she has one like her mom (her colors are blue, red and silver, basically the same like Carol)) and she sees some heroes and villians, she’s pretty sure they are not on her earth. 

So, what to do now? She has no way to go home and has not the nerve to interact with this arrogant heroes, so she starts to write. (Yeah I know,she shoud be start searching a way hime, but she’s immortal, she has plenty of time) About Captain America, then her mother, and then the first appearance of the Avengers. She writes about the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., about Ultron, about Thanos. It takes something like one/two years until she wrote down the history (of the Avengers and all the other heroes) from her earth and then goes to a publishing company, who are mindblown. She wrote... wait a moment, I need to research all the movies and series- 35?40? books (movies with series, the whole mcu basically until infinity war) about a whole new universe, with whole new heroes. 

So, they start to publish the books and make three phases, like the MCU. While people read her books, she writes the final, endgame. And she calls it; Avengers Endgame, The End Of The Infinity Saga. 

People absolutly love her books, they are so realistic, even the heroes, they have mistakes and are just human, all the details match perfect with fantasy and what happend real. They absolutly love the different groups of heroes and also like it, that most of them don’t care about this ‘no killing’ rule. Because Diana was bored, she drawed the covers herself, the first movies (captain america 1, iron man 1, thor 1, black panther 1, spider-man 1, hulk, agents of shield first season, avengers 1 etc.) show the the upper body of the hero, without face. The sequels show more of the place where the book takes plase, Infinity War shows Thanos with the Infinity Stones and Endgame all the heroes against Thanos. In the books themself, she placed some doodles, while the characters do casual things or are in a fighting pose... and yeah.

Not even a year after the first release, Diana Danvers is famous and some filmproducer approach her, wanting to make movies. And there are only the books until the second phase released. Many fanarticles show up and Diana creates the firma MARVEL (breaking the fourth wall, heh) and makes millions in seconds. But she doesn’t really want’s this money, spends as much as she can and just uses the money she truly needs for herself and the company. People love her even more. And some hate her, but she doesn’t care.

She begins to write side stories, who still happen while the Infinity Saga, but are not that important. Now, she knew about the important things, since her mother is a part of S.H.I.E.L.D. and her father is important too. But what happend truly to Black Widow and Hawkeye? What did Captain America do, after S.H.I.E.L.D. has fallen? What did Thor do after New York? What happend to Loki, when he met Thanos? (Her fans absolutly love Loki and he becomes one of the most liked characters, after she writes, that he has been mind controlled)

Her fandom becomes bigger than the one of Percy Jackson, she’s close to Harry Potter. She broke some records and won many awards and after everything until Infinity War has been released, she was the most famous author of the world. (unrealistic, but do I care? nah not really) She solds more books than J.K. Rowling and even more await Endgame. When she announces, that the first movie is coming up (captain america), they loose their absolute shit. Because this is going to be fucking awesome. Diana herself writes the script, leads the casting and directs the movies. 

Now you certainly ask, but what about her home? Well, Diana clearly misses her parents, but that’s it. She doesn’t really have any friends, her whole life she fought with her parents against the Kree and other bad people, who tried to control other ones. She made her peace, that she’s now on another earth.

Anyway. She’s something like 23 years old, in the middle of writing Endgame, when she’s kidnapped by the Riddler. He asks her some riddels, admits he’s a great fan, while she just rolls her eyes. 

“Look, I’m in the middle of writing Endgame and I need every minute-” Riddler starts to apologize and releases her, asks for an autogram, while the whole world watched. Diana didn’t even need a hero, she just hugged the Riddler, told him he had some good Riddles, can she also tell one?

“What happend in Budapest?” The big fan Riddle is, naturally understands and thinks hard, until his eyes widden. 

“Are you writing it in Endgame? Or did you drop any hints and we don’t see the whole picture...” Riddle thinks hard and Diana just walks away.

The next time she’s kidnapped, it’s Joker. He’s much more serious about this whole thing and won’t release her so easily. Naturally the whole world watches again and can see, how she tells him to fuck off, because she has a time limit and she still needs some drawings. Joker snarls and slaps her, she just stares at him with blank eyes and spits in his face. He gaspes offended, grabs her hair and wants to yank her head back, but Diana headbutts him, stomps on his foot and slams her whole body against him. He definitly didn’t see that coming. Before anything more can happen, glass shatters and Batman comes to help. Or so he thinks. Because Diana keeps a groaning Joker on the ground, stares at him hatefully, hisses some cruses about him and how she needs to work. Batman just blinks, sighs and shuts the camera off. He helps her, knocks Joker unconscious. Diana thanks him and walks off. 

“If you would just kill him, then he wouldn’t cause such problems.” Batman blinks again, but the woman is already away. 

Her fans love her for kicking villain ass, being so sarcastic, almost cynical. Some villians try to kidnap her, but she becomes angrier every time. Because damn fucking gods, she’s trying to work, her book is going to be released in a month, the movie is in the middle of shooting and she doesn’t has the time for this shit. Her videos go viral, kicking male villians in the groin. Female villians don’t even try it, because first, they love her books and they would never hurt her. And second, they don’t want their ass kicked.  

After she’s caught in the middle of a gang war in Gotham (she’s there for some meeting) her partners/workers/assistants have enough. They force her to hire a bodyguard, because- No, Miss Danvers. You can’t march against the villains by yourself, you are still a civillian, let the heroes to their work. 

Because I love Jason Todd and he’s known as a bookworm, he becomes her bodyguard. He’s the head of security of Wayne Enterprises and Bruce rather likes the girl, he talked with her at a Gala and he wants her protected. Even if she doesn’t has black hair. But still does have blue eyes...

Anyway. Jason becomes her bodyguard and because she’s such an attraction for danger, he’s around her 24/7. They become close, he watches her work, while he ‘protects’ her and yeah. Some real cliché story about a rich girl, who falls in love with her bodyguard. ehm... I don’t care.

So, Endgame is released and is the most selled book from Diana. Her doodles became drawings, they are much more detailed and some even with colour. The fans finally know, how Diana sees her heroes and notice, they look like many known actors. 

“Well, some have to play my charakters, no? I saw their work, I have a good eye for these things.” Totally a thing Diana would do, cast actors for movies who are planned in the next few years. Not even asking them, because she knows, that they will do it. And then she announces, she’s going to be Captain Marvel, because Carol Danvers was inspired by her mother and she wants to honour her. The world loves it. The creator of this legendary books playing one of the most powerful charakters. 

Meanwhile, Jason became her assisstant/right hand and is still her bodyguard. He stops being Red Hood, because the Outlaws are just nothing and he had now not the nerve working together with his family. One day, Diana suddendly speaks up. 

“Why did you stop being Red Hood?” Jason jokes on his spite and looks at her shooked, but she just draws at her next cover. She finally writes about Budapest.

“What?”, he croakes out. 

“I asked you, why did you stop being Red Hood?”

“How?” Diana just raises an eyebrow. 

“It’s not that hard. I’m literally the creator of another group of heroes, where do you think I have my inspiration? And my father is a god, we have an eye for warriors.” Jason slowly progresses her words. 

“A god? What the fu-”

“Yeah. Thor, the god of thunder.” At his wide eyes, she talks further. 

“The asgardian with the hammer, you know-”

“You tell me, this whole thing you write is real? That Thor is your father and an Avenger?” Diana just smiles. 

“And Carol is my mother... where do you really think I have my inspiration? I’m not some genius, I just wrote down the stories my parents told me.” 

“So... there is another earth?”

“There are many earths... there is a multiverse. I’m just from a different universe.”

Jason definitly didn’t expect that. But is now even more interested in her stories. He’s the one, who tells her to become a hero. She becomes Tempestas, the partner of Red Hood. 

And yeah... this it is.

If anyone wants to write about this, feel free! Just tag me, so I can read and reblog it :)

Masterlist

#marvel #mcu #dc #multiverse #jason todd #carol danvers #thor odinson #red hood #captain marvel #avengers #iron man #captain america #black widow #hawkeye #hulk #thor #actor #author #au of an au #story on wattpad #diana thorsdottir-danvers #joker #riddler #batman #justice league #wonder woman #superman #justhugefangirl writes {🥀} #justhugefangirl creates {🌹} #new story idea

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr 45: Give and Take

Chapters: 45/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: None Relationships: Loki x Reader (Someday) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Loki Makes A Nefarious Plan To Overcome Captain America By...Bettering Himself, Devious I Tell You, Devious Summary:  Loki gets a scolding for his privacy invasion, Reader gets a lesson in Asgardian Law, and Captain America gets to be in a calendar.  

Captain America posed in various states of undress for several months in each calendar, and each of those months you had simply covered in hearts. Cute little pink marker hearts, revealing an adoration he hadn't realized you had.

No, he'd had some idea of it, he simply hadn't allowed himself to accept it. He had deluded himself again, let himself believe that it was mere admiration for what the Captain stood for that you felt. But in the short discussion that you'd shared about him, you had spoken of him more highly, more positively than Loki had ever heard you speak about any other man, and you always seemed eager and excited for your little weekly check-ins.

Had you been flirting with him, during those secret meetings? Had he flirted back?

Loki's hands trembled. He could tear the calendar to bits right now, toss it in the fire, erase the whole thing. But what good would it do? Depriving you of these pictures would not remove your feelings. And your Tara would almost certainly ask if you had received everything she had sent.

Clever little wretch; he had the feeling that she'd had him dead to rights without even meeting him.

There was a little note within one of the hearts. “Doctor's appt today; 3:30” it said. And three days later, “No results.”

This was from eight months ago. You would have been deep within your mysterious illness, when you were still trying to figure out what was wrong. He flipped a few months earlier.

“Doctor's appt today; 12:00.”

“No results.”

“Doctor's appt today; 9:45”

“No results.”

“Doctor's appt today; 4:15”

“No results.”

“Still feeling sick. Set up Doctor's appt.”

“Sick today. Stayed home. Deduct from paycheck.”

“Felt sick today. Get medicine.”

“Something happened today.”

Any further back from that was merely noting when your payday was, or when you had a vacation planned, or when you were going to meet your father for dinner. “Something happened today”, was such a neutral, vague way to describe the moment your life had irreversibly changed. The day you took a god by the hand, and was bound to him, in body, and if the dreams were an indication, in soul perhaps as well.

“Something happened today”. Such a simple way to preface six months of suffering, a build up to your emancipation from an old life that did not suit you, to a new one where you would be adored and glorified.

“Something happened today.”

You'd been within murdering distance of a god who had killed perhaps hundreds of your kind, your hand burned, and you'd been banned from the tower, and that was how you had described it.

You really were something else.

He loved it.

But all these hearts, they was distressing. Every protest he could come up with for why Steve Rogers was entirely unsuitable for you was countered by his own existence.

Steve was technically an old man, old enough to be your grandfather, easily.

And Loki was old enough to have played tricks on your ancestors.

Captain America, as a member of the Avengers and a proclaimed hero, had many terrible enemies. He was not safe to be around.

Loki had enemies all across space. An immortal madman, an entire planet full of giants, whatever might still exist of the Svartalfari, many of the denizens of Earth, and even members of his own people. He was far more dangerous to be around.

The Captain had seen war. Horrors beyond reckoning. Death, and gore, and pain. Hopelessness and despair. He would be broken inside.

Loki could only wish to have gotten off as easily as he. If Steve Rogers was broken, Loki was shattered into dust. There was no reason you should chose Loki over him, with only those reasons to go by.

What about other reasons, though? What did the good Captain have that he did not? Strength? Power? Loki far outstripped him in both. Loki had bested him in battle once, but he doubted doing so again would impress you in any positive manner.

Was it nobility? Loki had him beat there too: he was true nobility, by birth and by upbringing. Steve Rogers had allegedly come from common, impoverished stock...just like you. Perhaps that had something to do with it, that shared origin.

Steve Rogers had probably never committed a crime against humanity, so that was something that he had on Loki. But he had killed other humans, and who knew how many? He was a soldier, he would know when it was and wasn't necessary. Maybe you felt the same. When the Captain did it, it was necessary. When Loki did it, it was flagrant and cruel.

They were weirdly similar in many ways. Perhaps it wasn't the deeds that mattered to you, so much as the reasons. The intentions.

How could he earn those hearts? Precious pink hearts to warm the winter month called November?

He glared at the picture. The hearts got wobbly partway through the month, before ceasing entirely. You must have been drawing them in with weak and trembling hands all the way up until you were forced to stop. Because Loki had kidnapped you.

There were even a few drawn on the photo itself, where Steve Rogers sat cross-legged on an American flag backdrop, barefoot and bare chested, a basket of puppies cradled in his thick, glistening arms.

Ugh.

Wait.

Was that it?

The softness? The vulnerability? The gentleness and care shown to creatures so much weaker? Knowing that he had power, but also knowing that he was safe to be with?

But Loki was already doing that for you. He was doing all of that. He wanted to do that. If those were the things you desired...he was already well on his way.

He could outdo Steve Rogers in everything. When the man showed up for his brother's silly party, he could observe, watch his ways, possibly even grill him for information; learn his flaws and weaknesses, and avoid being those things. Learn his strengths, his admirable qualities, and become better at them than him. In fact, if he could get on civil terms with the man, that might impress you even more, and he could gather even more information that way. The Captain was going to have to get used to him being here, just like all the rest of them, after all.

Meanwhile, he would show you every courtesy. If his power and prestige made you uncomfortable, he would have to show off his other qualities; the other things he could do that would impress you without frightening you. That must be the key!

You had shown him some of the things you valued, over these past few months. Innovation, frugality, compassion. Your love of animals and plants, your excitement over the possibility of being involved in conservation efforts, when he had held you by the sea, and become captivated by your lips for a brief moment.

Conservation and compassion...

He had an idea.

                                                                     *****

“So, what King Bor was saying in this speech is that he demanded the immediate abolishing of slavery on Asgard, not because it was wrong, but because he was afraid the Asgardians were becoming weak and complacent by having other people do all the work?”

“Got it in one.” Saga said. “And he wasn't exactly wrong either. Certain professions had become slave-dominated, whole industries without a single Asgardian hand involved.”

“That's pretty damn awful.” You said. “Why couldn't it have been because they were people?”

“Because the noble classes would have never accepted it.” Saga griped. “You ever tried to get a powerful person to willingly give up even a tiny fraction of their power? It happens on this world too, and it causes whole wars.”

“You're right.” You said, closing the folder and setting it on the table, next to a lead tablet stamped with pictographs so fine, they could only be seen under direct light. “There are people out there who treat all other life as change in their pockets. People so powerfully rich, it's almost impossible for someone like me to grasp.”

“You grasp the Prince.” One of the ladies cut in.

“I most certainly do not!” You protested.

“She means that you seem to understand him.” Saga said. “At least, she'd better mean that, or she will have interrupted both her work, and mine, and yours, for a snarky comment that doesn't do anything except waste time. Come on Lofn, you're better than that.”

“Not snark.” The other lady said. “Statement.”

You'd noticed that most of the other ladies stopped what they were doing when Lofn spoke, and looked at you. You weren't sure why it was so uncomfortable being the center of attention right now-possibly because they were all Aesir, or strangers, or because of their relation to Loki, or because he wasn't here, and you were alone in a very small room, with a bunch of women who were all better than you in every conceivable way...

And it wasn't like you could leave. You could spin your wheels well enough, but that heavy, wooden door would certainly provide an obstacle.

“I see you two. It is okay. I acknowledge.” Lofn said, a cryptic little smile curving her lips. The other ladies went back to their business, some of them also smiling.

“Lofn...” Saga groaned. “You are being Like That again.”

“I see what I see. If she does not, then give time.”

Saga huffed. “She's here to learn basic Asgardian law, not mystic hoodly-hoo.”

Lofn shrugged. “I leave hoodly to Loki, then.”

You opened your mouth to say something, when Andsvarr burst loudly into the room.

“I bring you lunch, my Seidkona! His Highness regrets that he could not deliver it himself, but some urgent business has demanded his attention. He got some of your favorites though.” He set the tray on the table in front of you with a flourish.

“Nope!” Saga proclaimed. “No food or drink in the conservatory! If it's lunchtime, then take it elsewhere, but it can't stay here!”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn't realize.” Andsvarr snatched the tray back up, looking around the small library, mystified. His gaze landed on a slab of stone in a sturdy, special case, its rough face scattered with faded, monochrome paintings of beasts and concepts you didn't recognize.

“Is...is that Ymir's Dreamscape?” He asked, awed. “You saved it?”

“The rest of the archivists and I smuggled out as much as we could.” Saga said sadly. “But we just couldn't get it all.”

“It looks as though you knew what was most important.” Andsvarr pointed at the stone.” That is the first known instance of art in the whole galaxy.” He told you. “It is almost eleven billion years old.”

You stopped breathing.

“Yeah, let's have lunch somewhere else.” You squeaked. The ladies tittered with amusement as Andsvarr handed you the tray and wheeled you out into the main library.

“Why did they even let me in there?” You gasped. “I'm just a huge humidity factory! I could have destroyed something!”

“Don't worry so much. Saga knows what she's doing.” Andsvarr assured you. “And those cases they are in are nearly indestructible. You could throw this chair at one, and it would bounce off.”

He brought you back to your room, pausing in the short hallway for a moment to comment that he thought Loki might be back from his emergency errand, then parked you in front of your desk and left to go check.

You briefly wondered what would happen if it wasn't Loki, but an intruder. Andsvarr would probably have to try and arrest them, or run them out, or even fight them. What was the protocol for that?

You set your tray of food on the desk, and dug in to the skyr, gazing out the window at the flowers outside. There was a fairly wide space around the complex that was untouched by construction. You didn't know if it would remain a native landscape, or if it was destined to be planted over as a garden, but it was lovely to look at right now.

Just as you were finishing your skyr, Loki entered your room after a light knock, carrying a large box.

“How are you feeling, darling?” He asked, sounding somewhat subdued. “Did Saga treat you well?”

“Oh yeah, she was really informative. I think one of the ladies was making fun of me though. I think her name was Lofn?”

Loki frowned. “Odd. That doesn't sound like her at all. I'll look into it.”

You probably shouldn't be snitching while Loki seemed like he was in a mood. What had gotten into him?

You knew something that might cheer him up a bit though. You placed the cup back on the tray.

“Maybe I just thought that because I'm so tired.” You said, feigning exhaustion. “There was so much to learn, and my head aches. I don't think I can walk right now. Can you help me?”

When you opened your eyes again to look at him, he was staring at you with a confused expression.

Oh right, he could tell when people were lying.

But he set the box down on your desk, and gently lifted you from your chair anyway, sitting with you on your bed and dutifully feeding you the rest of your meal. You knew he seemed to really enjoy being needed, and you couldn't deny the tiny electric feeling every time his fingers brushed your lips.

The tenderness of his actions and intensity of his gaze were hypnotic, and for a short time, you let yourself fall under the spell. Life had been far too eventful lately; and these slow, peaceful moments were gaining in value.

He spoke very little while feeding you, only to ask if you wanted more or not, reluctant to let the moment end. But your curiosity got the better of you eventually.

“What's with the box?” You asked.

“Oh, this is for you.” He said, whisking the food away, and plunking the box down on your lap. “It is from your friend, Tara.”

“And she sent it conveniently already opened, I see.” You said, a frost of sarcasm on your voice. Just a minute ago, you had been thrilled by the merest graze of his fingers; now, you were annoyed by how far he had been shoving his hands into your business.

“I had to check for possible dangers.” He said imperiously.

“From Tara? Come on, we've known each other since grade school.”

“Another school?” He asked. “There was no guarantee that it was truly her who sent it. And if she did, it could have been intercepted and tampered with.”

“And you don't call this tampering?” You gestured at the cut tape.

“There has already been an attempt on your life!” He exclaimed.

You crossed your arms with a huff. Sure, he was right about that, but he could have at least asked.

“Is everything still in there?”

He pressed his lips into a thin line. “No.”

“Loki-”

“There were some foodstuffs, and I sent them to the healing wing to get them checked for poison. If they prove safe, I'll give them back.”

“This is ridiculous!” You snapped.

“Your safety is paramount.” He cupped the side of your head, light as a ghost. “Look at what my negligence has already wrought.”

You knew you shouldn't give up on being angry so easily, and a little knot of resentment did still remain, but his point did dampen your irritation. Of course he felt guilty about all of this.

“Look that's touching and all,” You said placing your hand over his. He froze in place. “But you understand that, if you keep treating me like a prisoner or a criminal, we aren't really going to be able to gel like we should. If I'm gonna be a...magic politician, or advisor or whatever, I mean. You understand, right?”

“I...” He faltered, appearing to debate himself for a moment. Did anybody else ever see him like this? It was so different from the way people described him: not cagey, not guarded, not in perfect control.

“It's more than that.” He finally said. “It's more than just the social importance of your position, and it's more than the responsibility I feel towards you as a ward of the state, and it's far more than just owing you for all the upheaval I have caused in your life. I just...I genuinely do not wish to see you hurt, and it is frightening to realize how easy it is to hurt you. To realize that you are in more danger than I initially thought and that I might not be enough to protect you.”

“And I get that.” You said, stroking his hand. He remained frozen, but shivered just a bit. Poor guy must be really eaten up about your injury. “Things have been more...adventurous for me than they have been for my whole life, and none of it has been a walk in the park for me either. But I can tell you right now, trying to protect me from everything will not work. There will always be something that can break through your defenses, no matter how good they are.

Even before we met, it wasn't like I was completely safe all the time, you know? I mean, there were genocidal aliens that threw my whole universe into turmoil. And even without that, without any extraterrestrial interference, there was still a level of...I guess you could call it normal danger? Like, there was always a possibility I would get into a car accident, or fall down wrong, or catch a deadly disease, or be bitten by a snake, or accidentally poisoned, or electrocuted, or-”

Loki was looking exceptionally pale.

“-Well, you get the picture. There's a million ways a person can get hurt, and there's no real way to prevent all of it without pretty much killing me. Like, locking me away might protect my body, but it would kill my spirit. So there's a level of protection that's fine, and probably a good idea, but if you go overboard, you can easily cause more harm than good.”

“I see...” He said anxiously. “Perhaps it would ease you ire to go through your things?”

He seemed reluctant to remove his hand, but you couldn't reach the box with his arm in the way so you pushed his hand away, a little reluctant yourself.

“Now, there is this strange plush creature...”He lifted it from the box.

“Oh, that's my Bulbasaur!” You cried in delight, snatching it from his hands and cradling it in your arms. “What? Yeah, I know it's silly, but I've had this little guy since I was a kid, and he's the perfect size for cuddling.”

“Is...Is that supposed to be a real animal?” He asked in confusion. “Is that something that could actually be encountered?”

“Oh, no way. This is a fantasy animal. It's too bad; I'd love a real Bulbasaur.”

“And this blanket...”

“Nanna Beth made that! I need to send Tara a present after this. Okay that should probably go over the chair, so I can wrap up in it when I'm working, or something.”

Loki draped the blanket over the back of your desk chair; its familiar pattern bringing a real taste of home to the room.

He proudly presented you with the clothes and cheap jewels Tara had sent, placing them in the dresser, and promising to have a jewelry box brought for you. Your books went on your desk, and the music USB went straight into your phone. Then there were all your papers; important identifications, milestones, memories. You had to explain to Loki what high school was, which brought up concerns about Asgardian public education. It existed and was supposedly top quality, but the population of children was currently very low, and most were in apprenticeship right now, while the schools were under construction.

You briefly brought up the idea of adoption, but it made Loki very twitchy. You dropped the subject and he went back to presenting you with your things.

Phil 2 absolutely thrilled you. Such a healthy leaf meant that Original Phil was being well taken care of.

“I'm gonna need a huge pot for this!” You gushed in excitement. “This thing is gonna get really big! Tall as me, easily!”

At the bottom of the box were your calendars. It gave you a good laugh to see them, and Loki's grumbled response just added to your amusement. He desperately tried to prevent you from looking in the new one, and you eventually agreed not to...until he had left. He hung this years calendar up on the wall, flipping to the current month-Banner, in an open lab coat and possibly nothing else-grumbling even more.

“He's not even that handsome!” He huffed.

“He's got a big brain, sometimes that's enough.”

“For a pin-up calendar? Isn't that all about looks?”

You shrugged. “Heroism is sexy.”

Loki harrumphed, cheeks reddening. Considering all the media speculation about him, it was rather unexpected and actually quite endearing to find out how shy and easily scandalized he could be.

Eventually he sat back down next to you.

“Buridag will be in a few months. There will be city-wide celebrations, and we will be building a courthouse, everyone participating, as per your suggestion. We will be allowing the camps into the city, so they might participate as well.”

“Oh wow! That'll be so exciting! I hope I can see Sofie again.”

“You might. This will also be when we will formally announce your appointment to Royal Seidkona. It's important for you to be aware that this will make you royalty yourself.”

“What?”

“It's a formal title. You won't be a princess or anything like that, but you need an elevated title to be able to properly perform your duties. The Buridag festival will double as a formal titling ceremony. Now, I do not expect anyone to take a shot at you in public like that, but just in case, I am having armor altered to fit you. Hold on.”

He hustled out of your room and back with a handful of papers.

“This is what Andsvarr has donated.” He showed you a drawing. “They will fit you well with a little work, and should protect you from most dangers. And this is something I have designed for your head.”

He handed you another drawing. You'd had no idea before this that he could draw at all.

“Loki...Is this a flower crown?”

“Yes. I thought it appropriate, since you seem to like plants. But this will be nornbein and steel, rather than petals and leaves.”

It was a beautiful design. Loki had incorporated several different kinds of blossoms, their petals spread wide to cover as much of your head as possible, the golden nornbein and silvery steel contrasting to give the flowers color. The skullcap and cheek guards were patterned like ferns, and he couldn't help but to add a few jewels here and there, probably very hard and durable ones.

Loki was going to make you into royalty, and he was going to give you a crown.

Wasn't that a dream come true? Why was it so frightening?

“I really don't deserve-”You began, but he cut you off by placing his hand to your cheek again, and leaning in close.

“Please, won't you let me be the judge of that?” He asked softly. “Trust that I know to whom I wish to distribute my gifts and favors.”

“O-okay.” You whispered.

He leaned away, and begin describing a Seidkona's duties to you again, going over things you'd already heard. All you could think about was that, for a moment, it almost seemed again like he was going to kiss you.

For a moment, you were disappointed that he didn't.

#lasabrjotr #loki x reader #loki (marvel)

[gamerwoo]

Seonghwa: Facade (Part 2)

Characters: Seonghwa x female reader (featuring Mingi and Hongjoong)

Genre/warnings: royalty au, sorta arranged marriage au, slowburn, fluff with kind of angsty undertones since….y’know inevitable death

Word count: 2,611

Summary: Being an assassin, you’ll do anything for anybody as long as they can pay for it. However, you might’ve met your match after meeting your next target, Park Seonghwa, the prince of the kingdom. It’s not that his fighting skills match yours or that he’s even a little suspicious of you – it’s how he has a heart of gold, cares so deeply for his kingdom, and would do anything for you despite the fact he has only just met you. So now you have to make a choice: fail your orders and accept death…or kill the man you’ve fallen in love with.

Previous | Next

Day 13; 23:01 -- 77 days until deadline.

“Mingi-yah!”

You closed the door behind you before you saw your brother’s head poke out from around the corner. He smiled widely, all but running over to you to tackle you in a giant bear hug.

“_____-ie, I missed you!” he giggled as he swayed back and forth. “How’re things? What’s the castle like? Ooh, what’s Prince Seonghwa like?”

“Can you ask one question at a time, please?” you chuckled, pushing away from Mingi’s crushing hug to look up at him and study him properly. “Are you taking care of yourself alright?”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “C’mon, I’m an adult, you know.”

“You may as well be an over sized toddler,” you snorted, ruffling his dark hair with your fingers. “Anyway, the castle is pretty, and the prince is... Well, it doesn’t matter since he’ll be dead, right?”

“What exactly are you doing in the castle, _____-ah?” he wondered with genuine curiosity on his face. “I know you have to get close to the prince but what is that guy making you do?”

You hadn’t told your brother the entire story before you left for the castle. He knew you were hired to assassinate Prince Seonghwa, and he knew you were paid handsomely for it -- even just the half you’d gotten up front was more than enough to make Mingi almost pass out -- but that was basically it. Other than his knowledge that you were to live in the castle until the deed was done, he was left in the dark because even you were unsure what you were doing until you were brought to the castle to meet Seonghwa for the first time.

Your attire gave nothing away of what you were doing. You’d changed back into your typical clothes you wore before -- tight pants, an equally as form-fitting jacket, and some boots -- and your hair and makeup were undone and taken off. You hated wearing those things, so the least amount of time you had to, the better.

“Well...” you began slowly, fidgeting with your fingers. You knew your answer would bring teasing and plenty of questions from Mingi, “I’m actually... I’m supposed to pretend to be the prince’s...f-fiancee...?”

Mingi raised his eyebrows as he studied you, “Is that a statement or a question?”

“Mingi...” you groaned.

He snorted, gesturing to your body, “You can actually pull off looking like some kind of princess? That’s hilarious.”

“They make me wear dresses and makeup, and they curl my hair and did my nails, and-- Mingi, it’s awful,” you complained, walking over to the couch and flopping down on it.

“Hey, being here isn’t fun, either,” he sighed as he plopped down beside you, running a hand through his hair. “Do you know how lonely it is without having you visit?”

“You have friends, Mingi -- invite one over.”

“They have jobs, too, _____ -- oh, that reminds me: do you remember Hongjoong?”

You nodded, tilting your head to the side to look at your brother.

He flashed you a smile, “He’s a guard for the prince now. Maybe you’ll see him around the castle.”

You suddenly sat up straight instead of leaning back against the cushions, “What’s he doing posing as a guard for the prince?”

While Mingi was an assassin like you -- but a baker during the day -- your brother’s friend, Hongjoong was a spy. You weren’t sure what his job entailed or who he worked for, you just knew he was always collecting information on people for whatever reason -- typically bad ones. So the fact Hongjoong was now working closely with the prince was...odd.

But the urgency in your tone had Mingi smirking, “Why do you ask?”

“Because I’d like to know if there’s something else going on inside the castle,” you answered truthfully.

“_____,” the way Mingi said your name already had you clenching your fists, preparing for some form of teasing, “do you have a crush on Prince Seonghwa?”

“No,” you replied almost immediately, a hard look in your eyes. “He’s my next target, and you know I don’t get romantically involved with work.”

“You don’t get romantically involved with anything,” he chuckled. “I was just teasing, don’t worry. I know how you are. I’ll tell Hongjoong to keep an eye out for you, though.”

“Could you? And have him warn me at least before he goes doing anything stupid so I can at least be prepared for chaos.”

“Speaking of chaos,” Mingi began, the smile falling from his face as he looked at you, “do you have to go back soon?”

You let out a deep sigh before nodding, staring straight ahead, “Yeah.”

You didn’t like being away from your brother. You always took care of each other, and you knew he got lonely without you there. Most of your missions only took a few days, maybe a couple weeks tops depending on the circumstances. Now, you were living in the castle with the prince for a maximum of three months, which meant you couldn’t see Mingi. Even with the prince offering to take you home, he couldn’t know your home was his kingdom. You couldn’t see Mingi at all except for when you snuck out -- and this was the first time you were able to do so.

When Mingi fell silent, you looked over at him. He was staring at his lap with a child-like pout on his face.

“Hey,” you put a hand over his to get him to look at the small smile you were offering, “I’ll make it as quick as I can, alright? Until I get back, you have more than enough money to live off of, and you can always see if you can stay with a friend when you get lonely. You take care of yourself, alright?”

He chuckled, “Sure, mom.”

“Ah, you’re still a pain,” you groaned, though your expression was playful.

“I’m your brother,” he chuckled, “what else am I supposed to be?”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Day 14; 13:23 -- 76 days until deadline.

You looked up when you heard somebody knock at your bedroom door. You called for them to come in, only to see Seonghwa’s uncle enter the room, closing the door silently behind him.

“Seonghwa requests he sees you in his room,” he told you.

It was the day after you’d snuck out to see your brother back at your home, and it had already been two weeks since you’d started your mission. You knew you’d have to wait a little bit longer before making a move to strike, so for now, you kept to yourself and tried to do as you were told. You didn’t speak unless spoken to, you didn’t go out of your way to cause trouble or draw attention, and you spent most of your time in your room.

The rest of your time was spent with Seonghwa, who made a point to see you everyday. You thought it was kind of sad how the prince was so sweet to you. Still, it didn’t change anything about what you were determined to do.

You nodded, “Anything else?”

When his uncle spoke this time, his tone was hushed like somebody could hear inside the room, “Have you made any plans for our deal?”

“I have to wait a little longer so nobody suspects anything,” you told him, turning back to the book you were reading -- Seonghwa got you a whole bookcase full of them, so you spent the majority of your time reading them. “If the prince suddenly gets murdered after he gets a fiancee, that would seem suspicious, would it not? Not only would I be suspect number one, but you’d be suspect number two for finding me for Seonghwa.”

The man grumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t hear, but you were sure it was just him being impatient.

“Just come with me,” he ordered.

You saved your page before you got off of the spacious bed and went over to the door. You followed Seonghwa’s uncle out of your room and down to the opposite wing of the castle. You were silent the whole time, your eyes scanning every inch of the castle that you’d finally learned to recognize like the back of your hand.

He stopped at a door and knocked on it. From inside, you could hear Seonghwa call for him to enter, so his uncle opened the door and gestured for you to go inside. As soon as you did, Seonghwa’s face lit up.

“I retrieved Miss Areum for you,” his uncle stated while you stood in the same spot and waited for further instructions. “Is there anything else you’d like?”

“No, that’s all,” Seonghwa said. “Thank you, uncle. Areum, you can come in.”

As you walked closer to where Seonghwa was sitting at his desk, his uncle said, “Seonghwa, I should remind you that you and your fiancee are to be chaperoned at all times when together.”

“Oh, come on, uncle,” Seonghwa chuckled, “we’re not going to do anything.”

‘You better not do anything,’ you thought to yourself, though you kept your mouth shut and your expression neutral.

“Seonghwa--”

“Uncle, it’s fine,” Seonghwa promised with a soft sigh. “If it really will ease your mind, you can have one of the guards stand in the room.”

His uncle groaned, but still stepped outside to retrieve the nearest guard. He shoved the poor man into the room before grumpily closing the door with a light slam, making both you and Seonghwa cringe away.

“I apologize for...him,” Seonghwa said after a short moment of silence. “He’s always this grumpy if that helps.”

When you didn’t reply or even move, Seonghwa chuckled, “You can speak freely around me, remember?”

“Oh, right,” you nodded, walking over to where the prince was now standing from his desk chair. “I’m sorry, I’m just used to trying to stay on your uncle’s good side.”

“It’s sweet of you to assume he has a good side,” he smiled, even making you laugh. “You have a pretty smile.”

You felt your cheeks involuntarily heating up. Nobody had ever told you that -- you hadn’t even thought that about yourself. So hearing somebody tell you that for the first time -- and a prince of all people -- was...different. It made you feel... Well, you weren’t really sure how you felt.

“Th-thank you...” you said quietly.

You watched Seonghwa lean in, almost like it was slow motion. You could tell his lips were going for your cheek, but you still felt your breath catch in your throat -- not in a good nervous way, but it a way where your instincts were about to kick in and flip the poor guy on his back. But before anything could happen, you heard somebody behind you clear their throat.

Seonghwa paused, both of you turning your heads to see the guard standing by the door. He had on his knight helmet for some reason, and he took it off before speaking.

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor.

“Not to ruin your fun, your majesty, but your uncle would have my head if I allowed you to kiss miss...Areum, was it?” Hongjoong asked, his eyes landing on you with a mischievous glint in them.

While you were practically glaring at your brother’s friend, Seonghwa just straightened up and nodded with an embarrassed laugh, “Right. I apologize. I’ll be responsible as promised. Areum, let’s sit.”

Seonghwa turned to walk over to his bed while you continued to stare at Hongjoong, having some sort of silent conversation with just your eyes. You gave him a somewhat shocked look that asked ‘what are you doing here’ while he just shrugged in a casual, playful way that would’ve had you strangling him if there weren’t any witnesses.

He was definitely Mingi’s friend.

You rolled your eyes before turning to go join Seonghwa on his bed. He was sitting at the edge, looking at you with a warm smile on his face as you walked over and sat beside him.

“I know you can’t be in here for very long or my uncle will get mad,” Seonghwa sighed softly, “but I wanted to see you today, and I wasn’t sure what else to do with you. I know the castle seems very large, but there isn’t much to do for fun.”

You shrugged, “What do you normally do for fun?”

“I don’t have time for fun,” he chuckled. “I wake up, have breakfast, listen to the needs of the kingdom, I find ways to help them, I make time for you and for lunch before going back to work, I decide what to do with prisoners, laws, and newcomers, and then I eat dinner and go to sleep.”

Obviously, you were aware that being a prince -- more like a king -- had a lot of duties to go with it. However, you were unaware that Seonghwa literally had to try to make time to do things like eat or see the woman he was supposed to marry. You thought he could just have somebody else look over the things he was required to do, but apparently he couldn’t -- or just didn’t want to.

“Of course,” he continued, “that’s not everything, but that’s mostly what I do.”

“There’s more?” you practically gasped.

He laughed softly, reaching up to lightly stroke your cheek with his thumb, “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll make sure there’s time for you once we’re married.”

At this point, you were starting to feel a little bad for Seonghwa. He was so sweet to you and he had only recently found out he would marry you. Yet, he wanted to give you whatever you wanted -- he would do anything for you. He was like that with his fiancee, and with his kingdom. You felt sorry for him because he was so oblivious to what would take place in only a couple short months.

It still didn’t stop anything, though.

“Speaking of which,” he began, letting his hand drop from your face as he stood, “the kingdom has been told of the wedding. I’ve heard the people are excited to meet my bride.”

When he turned to you, he had a wide smile on his face, showing off a perfect set of white teeth. You, however, suddenly felt nervous rather than excited. The whole kingdom seeing you? Seeing your face? Wouldn’t that cause some sort of trouble for you? Not that anybody who had seen your face was still alive -- other than your brother and his odd group of friends -- but still. You didn’t do audiences or crowds.

When you spoke this time, your voice was much shyer than you would’ve liked, “When do I have to greet them...?”

He chuckled, shaking his head as he walked toward the window to peek out the glass, “Don’t worry, we don’t have to make it a big deal if you don’t want to. Maybe you could sit with me in the throne room while I listen to my people? It won’t be so overwhelming, but a fair amount will still get to see you. It’ll ease you into it.”

You nodded slowly, “Okay... That doesn’t seem...too bad.”

Seonghwa looked over his shoulder at you, seeing the slightly panicked look in your eyes as you played with your hands in your lap. He knew that it obviously wasn’t good that you were nervous, but he couldn’t help but smile so fondly.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” he giggled quietly.

Again, you felt that strange feeling, but you still couldn’t place it.

#ateez #seonghwa #ateez au #ateez imagine #ateez oneshot #ateez scenario #ateez fanfic #ateez aus #ateez imagines #ateez oneshots #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfics #ateez x reader #ateez prince au #ateez royalty au #seonghwa au #seonghwa imagine #seonghwa oneshot #seonghwa scenario #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa aus #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa oneshots #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fanfics #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa prince au #seonghwa royalty au #prince!seonghwa #royalty!seonghwa

[pkbrand-pk]

Men Pants Online Men Pants eBay Men Pants For Sale In Pakistan

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Completions

In the wake of guaranteeing the nature of the canvas, you need to take a gander along the edge of the completions. Consistently, the more the pants will have propelled completes the higher the cost. In addition, the completions will make it conceivable to separate two pants which appear to be comparable, however which at last are not really so. By and large, I award you, the completion of a couple of pants remain generally close starting with one set of pants then onto the next, it's each of the issues of subtleties. A few brands additionally separate themselves because of these completions, similar to a brand signature. Creases fasten, pocket lining, chain join or bolts, we will filter through each finish:

The creases

The creases on pants are significant, as they will decide the life span of the piece. By and large, great sewing brings about tight, thick join, or more completely adjusted and standard. To check their quality, there is no mystery, simply pull on the various bits of denim and check whether the fixing is there or not. On the off chance that, despite what might be expected, the strings are excessively slender and there is an absence of consistency in the plan, it is not out of the ordinary that the pants won't hold over the long haul. To acknowledge and additionally confirm the quality of the creases, don't spare a moment to turn the pants over and break down the legs within, the groin, the fly or even the pockets. Additionally, it is regularly between the legs that denim faces the most torsion and scraped spot.

The covering of the pockets

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Any individual who has never had pockets with openings at any rate once is a liar (I'm joking, obviously). The reality remains that in the event that you need to save your pants for quite a long while, you should focus on the nature of the coating of the pockets, in light of the fact that indeed, confronting numerous ports and particularly against scraped spot (keys, entryway cash, and so on.), they may wind up being torn or even torn. We will support a quality get together with specifical bolts and/or strong creases and particularly a thick and safe material!

Breakpoint or support

Frequently, over the ports, the back pockets will, in general, disfigure and in some cases even destroy. Erosion and pressure are altogether the more present when you put your mobile phone or XXL wallet, for instance. Right now, is smarter to support pants with a halting point or as here a fortification with an extra crease. It is likewise normal to discover them at the fly (this one is additionally extremely mentioned)

w to pick pants?

HOW TO CHOOSE JEANS?

By Gurvan says "Chamber head gasket", October 06, 2019 (article refreshed on February 27, 2020)

Among all the nuts and bolts of the male closet, jeans without a doubt the person who rules! For a long time, this indigo-colored bit of cotton has been a vital piece of our closet. Crude or somewhat washed, the pants are a bit of character that will age and advance over the ports to receive an excellent patina and a decent wash. To get great outcomes, there is no mystery, it is basic to pick it well. Regularly, we pose inquiries about the texture (Italian denim, selvage? How thick? 11oz or 14oz?), Then come different inquiries regarding the cut, the size and the various completions that we have to pick or not. Try not to freeze, here we will attempt to reveal some insight into every one of these inquiries!

The most effective method to pick pants

Outline

1. The little story of pants

2. The distinctive denim textures

3. The various loads of pants

4. How to perceive quality pants?

5. The various cuts of denim

6. How to pick the size of your pants?

7. Where to discover pants?

1. The little story of pants

Everything begins with two men, Levi-Strauss and Jacob Davis. In 1870 Davis claimed a prestigious Nevada turning business and Levi-Strauss a textured business. At some point, a lady requested that Davis plan strong jeans so her significant other could wear them for more than one work season. She paid development of and he acknowledged. He at that point worked with a move of cotton canvas bought from Levi-Strauss and made common jeans until he had the possibility of ​​adding copper bolts to keep up the texture at certain delicate purposes of the jeans. The thought prompted the structure of progressively strong and increasingly tough jeans. Regardless of whether he just sold a couple of jeans the main summer, the notoriety of his items before long developed and deals expanded. Davis in this manner looked for an accomplice and promptly thought of the person who had sold him the crude material, Levi-Strauss (1872). On May 20, 1873, was distributed the patent-related with this new revelation, entitled "Improvement in Fastening Pocket-Openings". Along these lines, we consider that this date is that of the introduction of the pants. After 1880 (because of the lapse of the patent), different brands assumed control over the idea and built up their own strong jeans. Pants will at that point become the leader bit of production lines and farms before spreading in the second 50% of the twentieth century to most by far of dressings. this date is viewed as that of the introduction of the pants. After 1880 (because of the lapse of the patent), different brands assumed control over the idea and built up their own strong jeans. Pants will at that point become the lead bit of production lines and farms before spreading from the second 50% of the twentieth century to most by far of dressings. this date is viewed as that of the introduction of the pants. After 1880 (because of the termination of the patent), different brands assumed control over the idea and built up their own strong jeans. Pants will at that point become the lead bit of plants and farms before spreading from the second 50% of the twentieth century to by far most of the dressings.

history of pants

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Aren't our American ranchers attractive with their pants and their hatchet in their grasp? (photograph was taken during the 1930s)

The history and cause of pants

2. The distinctive denim textures

Today, the market is loaded with pants textures, to such an extent that you can discover them at all costs. To lay it out plainly, we will recognize two textures of pants: great denim and selvage denim. Note that regardless of whether the most renowned pants are produced using selvage textures, this canvas isn't constantly an assurance of value. Obviously, I'm not discussing Japanese or American selvage textures (like once in the past Cone Mills), yet rather those found at low costs in significant brands. Surely, much the same as us, you more likely than not saw as of late that some quick design brands have taken on the expression "Selvedge" thusly.

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Try not to blend tea towels and towels, it is smarter to be cautious what you purchase. Here, we follow the creation of selvage pants in the unadulterated convention!

jean selvage versus selvage

dual account, a couple of months prior, I went to Galeries Lafayette in Rennes. In the wake of halting at a few corners, I moved toward pants and I began to take a gander at it from all edges (since truly, I frequently have this tick). Quickly, I understood that it was neither more nor not exactly a FALSE jean selvage. Within the pants was sewn a piece of texture, unequivocally at the area of the selvage outskirt. I saw it quickly on account of the numerous wires that were standing out. In addition, among the quick design brands that offer selvage pants, we will see that the canvas needs character and that it is frequently excessively dainty. A while later, sometimes (very uncommon), we can run over parts that will age rather well. This to disclose to you that it is smarter to make a stride back and dissect the piece that is in your grasp before propelling and that non-selvage pants (an Italian denim for instance) aren't really lower quality pants than section level selvage pants.

False selvage pants

Alright, Do you see the blemish? (this isn't my finger)

A. Great denim

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We start with the canvas that we locate the most on the pants showcase, the most famous, exemplary denim. Initially, it was a safe French canvas that was produced using fleece and silk from the celebrated city of Nîmes. We are toward the finish of the XIXth century. The canvas is then utilized in the production of work pants. Along these lines, this twill is sent out to California and goes with most by far of gold miners. This is the means by which the legend of denim was conceived (only that).

The correct hand twill

On exemplary denim, this extremely tight weave is produced using a chain colored blue and an unbleached or white weft. The weft strings are interweaved at a 90-degree point with the twist strings. The weave (or weaving configuration) is structured from three weft strings sliding under a twisted string and afterward a weft string ignoring this equivalent twist. The balance of this weave on four strings gives corner to corner lines, a trait of the twill. On most by far of pants, we find what is known as the correct hand twill or S-side twill. Right now, the inclining of the texture runs from the lower left to the upper right.

Italian denim canvas

Jean Norse Projects made in Italian denim: right-hand twill weaving

The left-hand twill

You should realize that a few brands of pants like LEE have decided on a left-gave weaving, which is called left-hand twill. It is essentially the switch of the correct hand twill. This weaving system carries a specific delicate quality to the texture since the heading of turn given to the string makes it conceivable to draw out the angle delicate to the touch.

right-hand twill left-hand twill

A correct hand twill weaving on the left against a left-hand twill on the privilege

The messed up twill

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At long last, there is denim that joins these two weaving methods. It is a canvas that has no particular direction, that is, no correct hand till or left-hand twill. It's known as the messed up twill. A weaving utilized by the American brand Wrangler in 1964 (the 13MWZ model). The objective is to abstain from turning among both ways gave textures, yet additionally to oppose every day scraped spot. The drawing is effectively conspicuous since it is a crisscross that can be seen when turning the part.

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[superman86to99]

Superman #81 (September 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The secret origin of the Cyborg Superman! We find out that the genocidal robot guy posing as the dearly departed Supes is actually someone we've seen before -- a seemingly minor threat from the past, supposedly lost in the vastness of space. That's right, the Cyborg is in reality... freaking Psi-Phon and Dreadnaught.

No, not really. The Cyborg is none other than astronaut Hank Henshaw, the Reed Richards analogue from that "Fantastic Four, but they all die horribly" story in Adventures #466.

Two months after that, in Adventures #468, we found out that Hank's mind had survived by jumping into a LexCorp computer after his irradiated body fell apart. Hank builds himself a dorky new robot body, but unfortunately, his wife couldn't handle seeing him in that state and went catatonic... and died, too, apparently? Or at least Hank and his minions seem to think so. At this point, Hank decided to jump into Superman’s Kryptonian baby rocket and leave the Earth because his powers were messing with our satellites, and also to avoid being sued by the creators of Johnny-5.

Anyway, Hank traveled the universe for a while until he bumped into the little backwater planet currently ruled by Mongul, former leader of Warworld (last seen running away all the way back in Adventures #455). Hank basically zapped Mongul until the big yellow oaf agreed to become his lackey on his quest to get revenge on Superman for supposedly failing to save his fantastic friends. Upon finding out Superman was dead, however, Hank came up with another plan: using the DNA from the Kryptonian baby rocket to make himself a new body that looks like Superman and nuking the Earth's cities to ruin his good name.

Meanwhile, in Metropolis, the mysterious long-haired Superman in the black suit is having trouble convincing Lois, Lex Luthor Jr., Steel and Superboy that he's the real deal. For starters, he doesn't even have any powers. Lois looks more convinced after she and man in black share a (pretty familiar looking) kiss, but he can't use that same tactic on all the others. Eventually, he gets tired of all the arguing, grabs some flying boots from one of Lex's armored bodyguards, and says he's just gonna go stop the Cyborg and the others can join him if they want to. Superboy and Steel are like, "ugh, FINE, we'll go too." CONTINUED!

Character-Watch:

I’d be really interested in seeing a story about how, exactly, Hank started hating Superman. He still seemed pretty sane at the end of his last appearance, and left willingly to avoid interfering with the Earth’s communication systems. I guess the vastness of space drove him mad, but I’d still like to see his evolution from Sadder Reed Richards to Crazier Doctor Doom. My personal theory is that being inside LexCorp’s computers had something to do with it. Maybe some remnants from Brainiac’s mind (remember he also lived inside LexCorp at one point) combined with seeing Luthor’s secret porn stash drove Hank insane.

Also, we never actually saw his wife’s death (how did Hank find out about it, anyway?) and every comic book reader knows that if it didn’t happen on panel, it didn’t happen. So, I think another interesting Cyborg story would be Hank finding out she’s still alive, but her death is such a central part of his delusion that he refuses to believe it and maybe ends up killing her. (Call me, DC! I have a really good artist friend.)

Plotline-Watch:

Hank’s story is being told by two of his alien minions, a guy who looks like a lion crossed with an Ewok and a guy whose gonads are apparently hanging from his face, all 12 of them. Spin-off series, please.

There’s a brief update on the Eradicator’s state: he’s “healing well” at the Fortress of Solitude, but the Fortress robots are worried that he’ll be sad he missed Kal-El’s return in Metropolis.

The man in black references various moments from the Lois/Clark relationship to try to convince her that he’s telling the truth, like when they got engaged, when he came out as Superman, that time they had their little mountain talk, and, uh... something else. Don Sparrow wonders: “That rainy night in July when we first WHAT Clark? It wasn’t raining the night they first kissed. Hmmmmmm.” It was raining... Jose Delgado’s tears. (Also, funny that it was the “Fantastic Four” issue.)

Lois’ reluctance to believe that the man in black is Superman is understandable given that, as she points out, she’s gone through this four times already. The first thing that gets her to listen to him is when he says “To Kill a Mockingbird” -- which, as we learned in Superman #67, was Clark’s favorite movie. And then there’s the kiss, which is a hairier remake of the kiss they shared before he died in Superman #75.

How come Supergirl doesn’t join the Team Superman on their mission to stop the Cyborg? Because Lex Jr. didn’t give her permission, while calling her “my pet”. I’m starting to think their relationship isn’t that healthy.

Dan Jurgens is clearly a fan of Dave Gibbons’ take on Mongul in Alan Moore’s For the Man Who Has Everything...

...but the art department is Don Sparrow’s turf, so I’ll let just him talk about that and other stuff I missed in his section, after the jump! 

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

I love this issue.  Starting with the cover, which lets us know in no uncertain terms that they’re no longer playing around—big things are happening.  Besides being a great drawing, I love the relative silence of the image, and how it plays.  When you see it, you just have to open it to find out what’s really going on, and whether the man himself might really be back.  It’s such a good cover, that I can forgive it for the sleight of hand with the Tarzan hair, which for some reason they have been hiding in recent issues. [Max: I still think they had no idea he’d have long hair when they made these covers.]

Inside we’re greeted with another great splash (honestly, we’re in the peak era of the Jurgens and Breeding team here, as the next few issues of Superman are every bit as good as the Death storyline, visually, so it was hard for me not to scan every darn page!) and I love the different facial expressions here, with Lex and Lois having expressions of disbelief (though that disbelief is clearly motivated differently between the characters) to the determination and spunk of the Metropolis Kid to the cool authoritative detachment of the Man of Steel at the back.

More great body language on the next two page splash, as—to me-- Jurgens and Breeding convey, just with a pose, that the real Kal-El has returned.  Though we’ll learn he’s mostly depowered (thanks to the Eradicator using Kal-El’s regeneration matrix as his own energy piggy-bank) he still holds himself with the confidence and invulnerability we expect from Superman.  Am I reading too much into a single panel?  Almost certainly.  But man, this looks great. 

There’s also some great character work from Lois throughout, and they draw her conflicted facial expressions really well, as she just can’t allow herself to hope that this really is what it appears to be—the love of her life, returned to her.  I’m sure the Eradicator wearing his face for all these months can’t have helped either.  

As we cut back to Engine City, we get another view of how amazingly this art team draws tech, followed immediately by possibly the most painful thing the Cyborg does in these pages—full force heat vision to Mongul’s junk.  Ouch. Ok, maybe that’s not as bad as blowing up a whole city, or annihilating a handful of survivors, but still. [Max: He annihilated millions of Mongul’s future children.]

The flashback to the Cyborg Superman’s origins is cleverly delivered, thanks to the alien mercenary’s “pocket ‘puter”.  The image of Henshaw reassembling himself (apparently into Johnny 5) is particularly well drawn, and deeply unnerving.  There’s also a great image of the bored dissatisfied Mongul on the throne. I wonder if the alien he’s telling the story to minds his conquered planet being referred to as “simple” though.

As with the Engine City pages, Jurgens and Breeding excel at drawing technology, so the freaky dragon creature Henshaw into which converts Mongul’s ship is a great piece of art.  The full page splash with Cyborg Superman in his current form is one of the better images of the character as well.  

The heart of this issue, though, is the slow change in Lois, who has held on for so long without Clark by being tough.  As Superman speaks to her about their life together, she is finally able to melt.  As with earlier in the book, the emotions on her face are so well done in this transition.

I love the callback of their kiss, and how it mirrors the tender moment from Superman #75.  And, in a storytelling device that they’d use again on shows like Smallville, it is the familiarity of his kiss that convinces her that it really is her fiancé.   Goosebumps, man!  This is beautiful, romantic stuff.  And in true Superman fashion, he just can’t stand around and celebrate the reunion—there’s a job to do, and it falls to him to do it.  More goosebumps. STRAY OBSERVATIONS

A recurring thing in these pages is the artists playing fast and loose with just how tall Steel is.  Sure, he’s got the platform jet boots, but at times he is depicted as gigantic as his silver-screen counterpart, and other times he seems roughly as tall as anyone else.  This issue veers into the gigantic.

I’m glad he’s back in any form, but it is a bit tough to see Superman wincing at being squeezed on the shoulder by Steel.

Yeesh, we get it, Henshaw’s team were supposed to be analogues for the Fantastic Four, you can stop using the word “fantastic” to remind us.  The other hints at it were plenty.

Funny that even that long ago, a handheld computer was the stuff of science fiction, while today, you might be reading this on a “pocket computer” smaller and more powerful than the one the alien holds. [Max: And whilst sitting on the toilet.]

While it’s not the focus of the panel, when the Cyborg “forms the shape of a man” he sure looks a heck of a lot like the Ed Hannigan design of Brainiac from the 80s. 

I love that Jurgens, knowing he’s picked up a lot of new readers with this storyline, makes it ULTRA easy to follow, even having the narrating alien say, “still not understand?” before recapping the recap from the previous pages.  

I dig the slow burn on Lex Luthor II, and that his villainous nature is creeping out more and more.  When he calls Supergirl his “pet”, it doesn’t sound affectionate, but literal here. [Max: Hey, when did Superboy get that Soder Cola? Does a soda vendor follow him around, like Homer Simpson and the hot dogs guy?]

I will never tire of Superboy’s “cool” 1990s speak.  Rather than read it as a middle aged writer trying to use hip lingo, it could be read as Superboy being “raised” by pop culture.   Because he was rapidly aged, maybe his entire knowledge of the world was programmed by others, who were guessing at how a young person speaks?  So he’s not trying to be cool—it’s literally all he knows. But what I still don’t understand is where Robin came from! 

Reading this issue for the first time, I still (mistakenly) worried that the man in black wasn’t the real Superman.   This was both because the Eradicator, in his healing bath, has Superman hair (even though we saw his hair get blown off last issue) and because I misunderstood the Kryptonian robot’s line of dialogue about ‘the master wanting to be there when Kal-El arose’.   Though this is actually a confirmation that Kal-El has indeed arisen, I thought it meant that the guy in the bath was the real Kal-El.  Plus, Steel has been the character the most “right” and in-tune with the spirit of Superman, and throughout this issue, he’s very dubious of the man in black being the real Superman, even saying how it seems to wrong.  Which I read as a hint that maybe there was another twist coming.

#superman #dan jurgens #brett breeding #steel #superboy #Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot #hank henshaw #mongul #fantastic four #eradicator #kelex #lil lion guy and gonad face #reign of the supermen

[axemetaphor]

OC Masterpost

I need an organized place to put info about all my OCs so that’s what this post is gonna be for!

In addition to basic bios and some reference images, I’ve also got links to Spotify playlists for every character, because music is a strong association with personality for me. (If you don’t use Spotify, or if you know of a streaming platform more easily accessible than Spotify, send me an anon and I’ll duplicate the playlists to that service then add a link here!) I also have moodboards for every OC.

This post will be rather long so I’ve put in under a readmore for the sake of convenience.

It’s also important to note that my OCs exist in an AU where some things are a little different. For example, Infinite in this AU is 17 and that’s definitely not because I assumed he was an edgy teen like Shadow, and after Robotnik’s defeat in Forces, the Resistance became the Restoration. All the troops who had been battling were reassigned to rebuilding whatever town they happened to be in at the time of victory, with extra troops being redistributed as needed (leading to the formation of small roving teams traveling from place to place to help out).

It’s a little bit of an unorganized info-dump at some points, but I’ll update it to be more organized at some point.

Updated 01/20/2019

Rhys the Serval

Spotify playlist | Moodboard

Rhys was designed by @creative-sanic and she also came up with most of his backstory!

Rhys is a gender-nonconforming cis gay dude. He was born to a ‘feral’ mother in the wilderness closest to Central City (between the City and Mystic Ruins, far enough away from civilization to be undetected for a majority of his early life). At age 7 or 8, a massive fire swept the forest, putting him and his mother in massive danger. Officials sent to contain the fire discovered that she and Rhys were living alone in the forest, and took the two into protective custody while working through the devastation caused by the fire. The city pressured Rhys’s mother to join civilization, but she adamantly refused, and as a consequence, Rhys was stolen from her and put up for adoption, leading to her having a violent breakdown. She was moved to a containment facility and hasn’t seen Rhys since; he has only the faintest memories of her. He was adopted at age 13 or 14 (having been shuffled around in foster care before then) by a family of bears, and went on to be a fairly average Mobian citizen, working as a waiter at Penne For Your Thoughts. That’s where he met Vitriol, who is now his boyfriend. After dating for a few months, they decided to move in together, with Vitriol moving into Rhys’s apartment, which was the larger of the two. Rhys is now roughly 19 years old (18 or 19).

Rhys and Vitriol have a steady relationship relatively devoid of problems. They love each other enough that no problem is too big for them to tackle, and when Vitriol became part of the Restoration (the collective effort to undo the damage done by Robotnik and the Resistance), Rhys moved with him all over the world, glad to have a reasonable excuse to travel. Neither wanted to attempt a longstanding long-distance relationship; their being separated briefly during the Resistance was frustrating enough for the two of them.

Rhys is unaware that he possesses Empathic abilities, and simply assumes he’s very good at figuring people out/being sympathetic, but in truth, the forest fire in his youth served as the catalyst for his abilities. Since his Empathy doesn’t require the same physical drain as, say, Vitriol’s Strength, Rhys mistakes his Chaos-Energy-related fatigue after using his powers to be emotional exhaustion. When he’s that tired is roughly the only time he can show unprovoked anger, but he’s also in-tune enough with himself to recognize when he’s being needlessly mean, and he’ll usually apologize right away. This happened most frequently during the events of the Resistance, where Rhys was tasked with helping to get survivors to safe places; he was very good at comforting those who may have lost friends/family in the attacks. From that, he’s begun to entertain the idea of becoming a therapist someday, though he’s not sure how he would afford the college degree for that. 

He gets along very well with Unknown due to them both having rather upbeat personalities. Though Unknown can be a little overbearing sometimes, Rhys likes talking to them and sometimes they’ll gush about how cute Vitriol is. 

As mentioned previously, Rhys doesn’t conform to typical gender norms; he’s a fashionista of sorts and doesn’t care what gender clothing is associated with. He thinks skirts are cute and feel nice, and he thinks makeup is a lot of fun, though he doesn’t do either every single day, just every now and then. For the most part, unless he’s feeling adventurous, he wears a hoodie and jeans, though his work outfit is a fancy suit. So, it’s often nice for him to just wear something low-effort. That being said, he always jumps at every opportunity to do his boyfriend’s makeup, and though Vitriol isn’t the biggest fan of it, he likes seeing Rhys smile, so he usually gives in.

Rhys often prompts Vitriol to keep up with his health, and the two go on camping trips whenever Rhys can convince Vitriol to go. He’s very good at camping; he can build a shelter easily, knows which plants are edible, etc.. Vitriol, by contrast, is pretty clueless, but Rhys is more than happy to teach him. 

When speaking, Rhys normally has a somewhat-formal tone, and he uses little to no slang (usually just words like “gonna,” and he almost never drops the G’s at the end of words). He’s very polite by nature (and some of the formality was ingrained by his job), and he tends to not talk a lot. When he’s really comfortable around someone (like Vitriol), he can chatter a lot, but if he catches himself, he’ll get really embarrassed about it. He has a soft, lilting voice that many find pleasant to listen to and soothing. When he gets excited, or raises his voice, it gets slightly higher in pitch. He’s not an anxious person (as in, he doesn’t have an anxiety disorder) but he’s rather shy and awkward around new people. He’s more of a reserved person than an anxious one, and he is by no means meek; having been raised (post-adoption) by a family of bears taught him how to roughhouse and hold his own against bigger enemies.

For the most part, Rhys isn’t bothered by his past. His life in the forest is far enough away, mentally, that to him it doesn’t feel like it even happened to him. However, the fire was a traumatic event for him, and to this day he has a deep-seated fear of fire. It’s rare, but on occasion, he will have nightmares about that day, and he doesn’t handle that well when alone. Fortunately, Vitriol is fairly helpful to Rhys—his simply being there is very comforting, even though he never really knows what to say.

Toxic the Porcupine

Spotify playlist | Moodboard

Note: while this character started out as a sonicsona of sorts, they’ve somewhat evolved from that and I don’t see them quite so much as “me” anymore. They do, however, share my name (or rather the name I’m using currently, as I write this). To further complicate things they also look the way I do right now and I use them for vent art lmao so, if I happen to draw myself as a mobian ever again I’ll tag it as #not oc. That way it’s clear what’s Toxic the OC and what’s Toxic the...uh, human being I guess. 

Toxic is an agender porcupine who hasn’t settled on their sexuality yet--they know they’re asexual, but they haven’t thought any further into their romantic orientation. They were born in a tiny unnamed village settled in the shadow of Scrap Brain Zone, and only recently did they leave after a majority of it was burnt to the ground...by them. They showed signs of being trans at a young age, and were subsequently bullied quite harshly by both their peers and their family. They came out to their family at age 17, which only deepened the rift already forming, and subsequently Toxic ran away for a week, spending that time in Scrap Brain Zone. That was their first overnight foray into the Zone, something that would eventually become a staple of their life.

At age 19, they discovered an abandoned prototype Wispon in Scrap Brain Zone (devoid of Wisps), which they then decided to retrofit with the flaming spouts from Scrap Brain Zone to make their own strange hybrid flamethrower. A few nights later, after a particularly awful verbal spat with their family, they decided to fake their own death by setting fire to their own room. However, things quickly got out of hand, and the whole town ended up in flames. They fled, unsure if anyone made it out alive that night...and a little less than sympathetic if they didn’t. (Fortunately, a majority of the little village’s populace wound up trickling into neighboring villages and towns)

Since then, they’ve been absolutely destroying almost everything in their path. With no direction and no impulse control, they are a complete loose cannon throwing a wrench in both Eggman’s plans and Sonic’s adventures. They live by a motto of recklessness and “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” Being an un-powered Mobian, they can’t do much of anything with the Wispon taken away, but taking that Wispon away is much easier said than done. Shortly after their ‘debut’ as a villain-of-sorts, Eggman reached out to them with a message essentially reading, “hey, do you want a direction in which to burn everything down (that is preferably not my everything)?” Since joining forces with Robotnik, though, their chaos has become much more controlled, and now incidents of mass fires can usually be linked to Eggman sending them off somewhere. They are a persistent thorn in the Freedom Fighters’ sides as they just love to fight and don’t really care who they fight.

They will not, however, attack civilians directly. Their fires might pose a threat to cities, but they don’t outright attack people unprompted--their chaos isn’t fueled of malice but rather of recklessness and an extreme lack of forethought. If harassed, however, they aren’t above punching someone in the face, and civilians are warned to just stay the hell away from Toxic. Their behavior overall is best classed as “more of a danger to themselves than others, even when provoked.”

Toxic only owns one jacket and one pair of boots, as well as no other accessories save for the spiked bracelets and collar, since everything else was burnt. One item they are occasionally pictured with, but rarely wear, is a long ankh necklace, the origins of which they refuse to elaborate on. However, it’s clearly important to them… Prior to burning everything, they often wore ripped jeans, loose half-torn-up tank-tops with a variety of detailed patterns, and lots of bracelets. They despite feminine-coded clothing and would rather die than wear it. Overall, they’re fond of clothes that look like they’re being held together by safety pins and hope.

Their speaking pattern is completely all-over-the-place. Their accent is untraceable, they mix slang from a variety of regions, and mix pidgin street-slang with oddly formal sentence structure or complicated words. They alternate between dropped G’s at the end of words and dropped H’s at the beginning, but inconsistently; rather than being a sign that this accent is faked, it’s more a reflection of how scrambled they are on the inside. Toxic’s voice is prone to cracking, especially when they yell (which is very often), and it has a certain hoarse quality to it most of the time. It rests in a midrange between stereotypically “male” and “female” voices, and can be mistaken for a young boy or slightly-older girl interchangeably. This irritates them to no end—they’re no stranger to yelling in demand for their proper pronouns to be used.

Toxic has frequent nightmares, but never speaks of them. They often suffer from broken sleep, only getting a few hours at a time, and on occasion are struck with insomnia. During that time, they doodle or write, dealing with rather dark subjects, but never share this willingly. Oddly enough, they have a rather intense fear of fire (ironic given their Wispon) and of heights. Strangely they seem to use their fear as an adrenaline boost of sorts, embracing it to use as a motivation. (It’s somewhat similar to how Batman uses bats as his main motif, despite having been traumatized by an experience with bats in his childhood.)

They cannot be swayed to being “good,” because they truly believe they are an awful person who could never be good even if they tried. So, they just do what they want out of a very specific, Nihilistic worldview, and truth be told they’re simply a chaotic being who’s in way over their head. Despite being a villain, however, they are a big fan of Sonic and his friends, and they consider it a huge honor to be able to fight him. They’ve created an odd sort of parent-child bond between themselves and Robotnik, adopting him as their dad (he didn’t really get a say). Robotnik isn’t exactly doting but he does view them as his child in a sense, and often makes them new weapons to use alongside their Wispon (which they refuse to part with; he repairs it fro them as-needed). 

Vex the Cat/Fox Cross

Spotify playlist | Moodboard

Vex is a bigender aroace genetic experiment who most closely resembles a fusion of a fox and a cat. (Any pronouns are applicable to them, but I use she/her most, because I have a lot of “he” and “they” OCs already) She has lived roughly 17 years, the first 14 of which were spent in the facility that created them. Partway through what would have been the 15th year, a catastrophe occurred at the facility, giving Vex, Vitriol and Unknown a window to escape. During this process, Vex and Unknown became separated from Vitriol, escaping the facility and winding up on their own. They traveled in a world absolutely foreign to them for months, eventually, through a strange turn of events, joining a thieves’ guild in an attempt to forge new identities. They had great success as a thieving duo up until the unfortunate disappearance of Unknown, after which Vex abandoned the guild to search for them. Instead of Unknown, however, Vex ended up reconnecting with Vitriol in Central City, after which the two worked together to find Unknown, eventually finding their sibling in the Resistance. Since finding each other, the three have not been separated, and now form Team Motley.

Vex is generally regarded as the smartest of the trio, having a sharp wit and capacity both to plan ahead and think on their feet. Her Manipulation ability makes negotiations and covert ops very easy for them, with its one flaw being that it doesn’t work on others with similar abilities, such as Empathy. All three experiments possess low natural levels of Chaos Energy, below what is healthy, and their bodies cannot contain it well, so their abilities rely on the Energy around them, both in the environment and other people. Mobians often report “a strange sort of tiredness” after being Manipulated by Vex, as her power functions by draining a bit of Chaos Energy from the target and matching its wavelength.

Due to her affinity for making others do as she says, Vex is the leader of Team Motley, and, despite being the ‘middle child,’ the other two often go to her for advice. She is the organizational backbone to the team, a natural leader with a kind heart hidden behind a few layers of selfishness. Vex values family and friends above all else, and has a keen sense of right and wrong, even if she doesn’t always do what she knows to be right.

Vex is aware of her Manipulation ability, and does her best to curb its effects when she isn’t intending to use it, but given that it’s activated by her voice, sometimes she can’t control it very well. In addition to that, Vex is more than a little greedy; coming from a background where she didn’t even own her own life, Vex fell in love with her life in the thieves’ guild, mainly for the riches they earned and the thrill of the escape.

She’s a fan of loud, gaudy jewelry, luxurious metals, and other frivolous high-class things, though she doesn’t wear them in public. During their time in the thieves’ guild, Unknown and Vex lived in a network of caves, where many of the things they stole during their heyday are still hidden. While she misses those days, she doesn’t regret leaving them behind, and rather considers it an... option for future employment, once the Restoration is all said and done.

Despite her love of jewelry, Vex prefers not to wear clothes at all. They’ll wear their binder or a sports bra, and that’s about all; if necessary, they’ll wear baggy army-pattern pants or a baggy jacket. They don’t like the feeling of most fabrics on their fur, and don’t care a lot about fashion, but they tend towards more masculine clothing, often for its less-skin-tight properties. They also don’t mind skirts, but only wear them casually, as sometimes the extra fabric can get caught on things or be uncomfortable for them to sit on.

All three experiments tend towards more formal speech, but of the three, Vex has been trained out of that habit the most. She’s a real smooth-talker who adapts her speech patterns to mirror those of the person she’s talking to. When speaking casually, Vex is fairly neutral and doesn’t have any specific quirks to their speech pattern. When she’s comfortable around someone, she speaks in a rather husky voice, but not a very deep or gruff sound. It’s more of what would be described as “butch,” because their voice is closer to the stereotypically “feminine” sound than the stereotypically “masculine” sound.

Vex’s main phobia is having their mouth covered by something—anything from someone’s hands to fabric to a muzzle. This is because when her Manipulation was discovered by the scientists who created her, they immediately recognized it as a threat and she was kept muzzled for extended periods of time. The muzzle had supposedly been ‘humanely designed,’ but if at any point she frustrated her keepers, they were no strangers to shutting or covering the air-intake of it until she cooperated. Of the three, Vex has dealt with her trauma the least, and her sleeping pattern is just as broken as if not more broken than Toxic’s, and she tends to grind her teeth when she sleeps as well. She doesn’t speak of it much, but she and Vitriol have really bonded the most over their shared trauma. He is, essentially, the only person remaining who knows what they went through. 

Because they’re aroace, they have little concept of how flirting works other than when they’re using their Manipulation ability (which isn’t really calculated, more an instinctive knowledge that saying or doing certain things will achieve the effect they want). In other words, they’re extremely oblivious. The only thing they really care about is family, and they will do anything to protect them--when fighting they have no qualms about “fighting dirty” and will use anything to their advantage. Unusually, Vex has the ability to climb along walls quite easily using their claws, practically like a lizard. This combined with their night vision makes them quite formidable to fight in the dark. 

Vitriol the Ferret/Porcupine Cross

Spotify playlist | Moodboard

Vitriol is a gay cis guy who most closely resembles a fusion of a porcupine and a ferret. He has lived roughly 18 years, the first 15 of which spent in the facility that created him. During the calamity leading to his escape, Vitriol separated from Unknown and Vex in order to give them a chance to get out, taking on the officials sent to stop them. He ended up leaving via a different route, resulting in him coming into this world in a completely different place from Vex and Unknown. Vitriol spent the next half-year wandering across Spagonia’s countryside, often stopping to spend a night or two on a farm in exchange for helping its owners, who never questioned why a mysteriously-strong stranger would be wandering the wilderness. Many took him to be some kind of nature spirit, and treated him kindly; he realized through this little pilgrimage that he quite liked helping people out, though he never stayed more than a week in one place. Searching for his siblings was his main priority.

Eventually Vitriol came across a little town, the port of which was a dock for ferries to and from Central City (primarily used by high-end citygoers for transportation to their summer homes). He was told that Central City was a place many people lived and an even larger number of people visited; Vitriol resolved that, if Vex and Unknown were to wind up anywhere, it was likely a place like that--a place people are expected to wind up at. Not understanding the concept of having to pay for things, Vitriol snuck aboard, and managed to go undetected for the entirety of the trip by packing himself nicely into a tiny corner belowdecks. The night before the trip was to end, he snuck off the boat and swam to shore in Central City. Immediately enraptured by the city’s many brilliant lights, Vitriol decided to stay there and do his best to keep an eye out for his siblings.

He spent his first two weeks sleeping on the streets and wandering through the city, until one evening, allured by the glowing neon signs on the inside, he found himself inside a rather lively nightclub/bar. One thing led to another and Vitriol ended up breaking up a fight, catching the attention of the bar’s owner (who was, at the time, half of the staff, as well). Vitriol was offered the job of security officer, no questions asked, and, having begun to come to terms with the fact that money wasn’t just something that one town invented, Vitriol accepted. For the beginning of his ‘career’ he still lived on the streets, but eventually he saved up enough for a tiny postage-stamp of an apartment. It’s only enough space for him to just exist, but that was plenty of space for him. Over time he earned enough money to live comfortably—comfortably enough to get gauges and a septum piercing, both of which helped him in his line of work immensely (as most of his ‘security’ work was simply to look scary enough to keep people from misbehaving). 

Vitriol worked there for roughly the same amount of time that Vex and Unknown “worked” as thieves, and it was during this time that he met and started dating Rhys, moving in with him after roughly three months together. He only reunited with Vex upon happening to run into her when wandering the town one weekend night. The next day he quit his job and left to travel with her, searching for their last remaining sibling. Now that the three are reunited, Vitriol serves as the muscle of the team, doing all the heavy lifting and door-kicking necessary. While he vastly prefers sitting on the couch and watching TV with plentiful snacks nearby (preferably cookies), he’s not the type to shirk responsibilities. He’s just looking forward to going back to relaxing in Central City with Rhys when the Restoration is over (and, though he won’t admit it, he does miss when his only job was looking mean).

Vitriol doesn’t have a lot in his wardrobe. His usual staples are a crop top and leather pants, though he also wears skinny jeans and ripped t-shirts. Sometimes he wears pants without a shirt, and, overall, he doesn’t care a lot about fashion. He just picks up what he thinks is cool, which is usually a t-shirt or crop top with a few words on it (his favorites are “BORN FOR HELL” and “LIFE RUINER”). From there, he’ll often tear off the sleeves of the t-shirt, or cut holes and slits into the body of it. The only thing he always wears are the red fingerless gloves with lightweight chains dangling off the backs. 

He tends to mumble the most when he speaks, unless he’s angry or using his “Work Voice.” His “work voice” is the particular loud, gruff tone he takes that he picked up from his job; an intimidating deeper and more snarling version of his voice, often accompanied by a very stern or frightfully blank expression. This is made more intimidating by the fact that all 3 of the genetic experiment characters have a habit of needing to initiate conversation through eye contact, much in the same way that a small child might gently rest their hand on the arm of an adult whose attention they want, albeit much more unsettling. So often if one of the three wants to speak to someone, they’ll stare very intently at the person’s face until acknowledged (Vex has adapted the most of the three and therefore only does it to the other two and Rhys). When not using his “work voice,” Vitriol has a rough undertone to his voice, not necessarily a snarl so much as a growl. His voice is naturally deep, and lends itself well to singing his favorite music—rock music.

Vitriol often suffers night terrors and nightmares* linked to his trauma. When living alone, after waking from a nightmare, Vitriol would pace his apartment or wander around Central City to cool off, but after moving in with Rhys, he’s processing his trauma a bit more as opposed to just avoiding it. He hasn’t told Rhys much, just that he came from “a horrible place, where [he] was trapped,” and Rhys doesn’t pry; oftentimes it’s enough to just be reminded that he’s free for Vitriol to calm back down. 

Despite his prickly exterior (both literally and figuratively), Vitriol is much more cuddly than Rhys is. Perhaps it’s from being touch-starved in the facility for so long or perhaps it’s just part of his nature, but either way, Vitriol is no stranger to snuggling up against Rhys (most often) or his siblings (slightly less often as Vex is somewhat touch-averse). Rhys isn’t exactly annoyed by this, and often finds it endearing, but on occasion Vitriol has been known to act like a housecat--flopping down right in Rhys’s way to get his attention. He’s also a bit of a jokester, but only around Rhys and his family.

His deepest fear is of being helpless. He doesn’t tend to show much external emotion besides smiling at Rhys or his siblings, or glaring if he’s annoyed by something, but if he’s being dragged along the floor—especially if he’s being dragged by his underarms, as was his keepers’ favorite way of moving him from place to place—he will absolutely lose his mind in a panic. He also panics if cornered, lashing out with uncontrolled strength to get away, which usually doesn’t end well for his captors.

*Nightmares are your standard bad dreams that occur during REM sleep. Usually when waking from a nightmare, the person remembers what they were dreaming about. Often someone suffering from a nightmare will toss and turn, and maybe sleep-talk. Night terrors, however, are somewhere between dreaming and being awake; someone suffering a night terror might yell, thrash, kick or scream, or sit upright in bed with eyes wide open. They cannot, however, see or be woken from the night terror, and will flop back down anywhere from ten minutes to a half-hour after initial panic. They can often be confusing to the person suffering them, and only a vague recollection of what was going on remains when the person wakes up.

Unknown the Raccoon/Hedgehog Cross

Spotify playlist | Moodboard

Unknown is an agender bisexual polyamorous genetic experiment most resembling a fusion of a hedgehog and a raccoon. They have lived roughly 16 years, only four of which have been spent outside. When Vex and Unknown ended up on their own, Unknown took on a role of the silent intimidator between the two. Vex’s Manipulation came in handy most times, but when necessary, Unknown could provide some intimidation.

Unknown was a vastly different person then from who they are now. They were far more focused, and taught themself parkour, as well as having put themself through rigorous training to maintain a good physical health. They rarely spoke, and refused to give themself a new name, unlike Vex and Vitriol. They weren’t interested in the riches, though they did suffer from a bit of a hoarding impulse, enjoying the feeling of owning something. They didn’t care for jewels or finer things, unlike Vex; they were more participating for the adrenaline rush. At that point in time, they fully understood the brevity of their power, and it was imperative for them to keep a calm demeanor at all times; they were far less animated than they are now.

Then, about a year and a half after they’d escaped, Unknown abruptly went missing. A heist went sideways, the two became separated, and suddenly Vex couldn’t find them. A few months after that, Robotnik began taking over the world, and shortly after that, Unknown awoke in a dumpster somewhere in Park Avenue, with no memory of any life prior to that. They gathered all the information about themself from this police flyer:

From there, Unknown wandered the city amidst the chaos, confused and curious. Through that, they met Sonic when they helped him fight off a few robots. Impressed with their skills, he asked them to join the Resistance, which they cluelessly agreed to, definitely not because a cute boy was offering it to them. Unknown ended up being quite helpful to the Resistance, despite presumably having no Chaos Powers. They got along well with virtually everyone save for Omega and Vector, as they have a slight fear of people taller than them.

After being reunited with Vex and Vitriol, Unknown has stayed relatively close to them; the three are inseparable, traveling in a group for the Restoration. Shortly after the final battle, as the Resistance members were celebrating for the night, Unknown stumbled across Infinite while walking home. Unsure whether to turn him in or not, they decided to take him home and let him heal from his wounds first, then figure out who to turn him in to. In the end, after two weeks of Infinite recuperating (during which he revealed his name to be Zero), Unknown decided instead to keep Infinite in their home, unsure what would happen to him otherwise. For a short while, they didn’t tell anyone else, but once they told Vex and Vitriol, they were urged to tell the Resistance as well. It wasn’t taken well at first, but eventually the issue was settled—Unknown would take care of and reform Infinite, because having him close by and watched over is better than having him roam around unsupervised. Despite that, Unknown doesn’t treat Infinite like a child or prisoner but rather a friend. Currently, Infinite resides in the home Unknown was occupying during the Resistance, which was rather close to the site of the final battle.

Unknown’s usual ‘work clothes’ are a leather bodysuit of sorts with buckles similar to an airplane seatbelt’s buckles (and a hole for their tail) and combat boots as well as padded gloves that help absorb shocks), but in the past, they would wear a large cloak. It’s not clear where this went during their disappearance. In their free time, they prefer to wear clothes with deep v-necks to let their neck/chest fluff breathe, and they often wear ripped clothing like Vitriol. Unknown’s thick fur makes them more prone to overheating, but despite that, they enjoy running as a hobby and a way to stay fit. They often wear fitness clothes (a tank top and gym shorts) when they’re in an urban area, though if in the wilderness, they’ll just wear running shoes.

Typically, their voice has a bright and happy tone to it, all the time, and they’re very good at faking it when they’re actually not okay. Vex and Vitriol can usually pick up on when they’re lying, but most others can’t, something Unknown is actually very happy about. When it comes to negative feelings, Unknown is very secretive, but with positive feelings, they love to share—and overshare. (The only exception to their secrecy is anger; an angry Unknown is frightfully quiet and cold, and painfully obvious.) Oftentimes they don’t realize they’re oversharing, but Vex (or Sonic, if present) is more than willing to quickly interrupt and divert the conversation. Unknown tends to use overly-familiar language with just about everyone, especially words like “buddy” or “pal.” It’s unclear if they’ve picked this up from Sonic. 

They often suffer from night terrors, similar to Vitriol, but they claim it has no effect on them, as they don’t remember the trauma giving them nightmares. In the beginning, this was the truth; however, they refuse to open up to anyone, even their siblings, about what’s going on in their head. They’re well aware that they’re the most positive of the trio, and part of them doesn’t want to ruin that idea. Another thing they never tell anyone is that they often suffer from sleep paralysis*, wherein they often see strange things from their past, but existing still in the present. They don’t really know how to verbalize the experience to anyone else.

Unknown doesn’t have many fears, but they are downright petrified of needles and electricity—not in the sense where they’re scared of electronics, but they’re more frightened of visible electricity, like a fizzing outlet, lightning, or the Electric Wispons.

That being said, they do have a few insecurities, namely their sharp teeth. They’ve accidentally frightened people with them in the past, so when they first meet people nowadays, they try to smile with their mouth closed only. The anxiety dissipates eventually, as they’re more concerned about first impressions. 

*Sleep paralysis is an event where a person is mentally ‘there’ but unable to move or speak at all. It occurs when they are falling asleep or just waking up, and episodes usually last less than a few minutes, but can occur multiple times, not just once. It’s thought to be linked to a dysfunction in REM sleep, and is caused by sleep deprivation, psychological stress, or a poor sleep schedule.

Extra stuff:

Files from the experimentation: Basic knowledge on Vex, Vitriol and Unknown, as they would’ve been presented to their guards.

Scrap Brain Zone (writing from Toxic’s perspective)

Unknown meets Infinite (Comic) Part 1 | Part 2

Experiment origins (Flipnote) [old] (Flashing light warning)

Unknown waking up (writing from Unknown’s perspective) [old] 

OC Voiceclaims (video)

Chaos Vision (superemeralds’ idea) doodles | Click bold text to see his post on his blog.

Chips Ahoy (goofy non-canon animatic that im just really happy with)

Test animation for Toxic (Flicker warning)

Pride (doodles of 4/5 OCs for pride [toxic didn’t exist yet])

Moebius AU (Drawings with short description) | Moebius!Unknown video (Flash warning)

First Punch (Animated comic feat. @creative-sanic ‘s Aurora) | Still version

Rough concept writing - Toxic’s powers [will be removed when I decide on their abilities and how they get them in canon] (Writing)

Character Turn-Arounds (Comic/Animation ref) (Includes colour hex keys!)

#my ocs #sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog oc #sonic oc #sonic original character #sonic the hedgehog original character #sonic fan character #sonic the hedgehog fan character #sonic fc #sonic the hedgehog fc #my writing #reblogs are vastly appreciated ! #rhys the serval #vex the cat/fox #unknown the raccoon/hedgehog #vitriol the ferret/porcupine #toxic the porcupine #my oc #my art #references #oc reference

[khorale]

Gintama Reflection (Manga Spoilers)

Alright.

So, Gintama. It’s been quite a journey. 

I know it’s not quite done yet, and I’ve only read the raws with my shoddy Chinese. But this huge troll of a chapter really makes the Gintama feels come surgint back.

Bravo, Sorachi. Bravo.

A lot of my worries were cleared after scanning through. Of course I’ve missed details, but that can wait after the translations come out.

The first thing I was concerned with was the pacing. Like many fans I did not believe 5 chapters was enough to end everything, and after experiencing the infamous Shonen End™, I was worried it’s going to get hella rushed.

And of course Sorachi proves himself time and time again to be the best at defying the norm. (Seriously this series is self-aware to a level to where I’m ashamed to have thought it would end in a typical manner)

Second concern I had was the loose ends. Particularly Tamako who disappeared after the fight between Sougo and Kagura, never to be seen again. Tama who’s in a coma, Sadaharu who still hasn’t awoke, and Matako & Henpeita who are probably still making their way to Edo. They were barely brought up in the last few chapters that I was afraid they were forgotten. But after seeing Tamako this chapter, I breathed a sigh of relief for that too.

Sorachi finally gets a break from continuously drawing a weekly manga for 14 years. It’s surprising how much life and energy this series still possess. I applause the gorilla for not burning out on this series after over a decade. Sometimes things may be kinda formulaic compared to earlier chapters (I see a LOT of poses reused. Even if they’re badass poses), although in the grand scheme that’s not too big of a deal. While we have to wait longer for the next chapter, of course the page count and quality will increase drastically.

Um, I’ll just briefly go over some of my gripes before I go back to praising the series. Sometimes I’m not sure about the motives of the villains (C’mon Utsuro could have waited for his altana to run out on Rakuyo and ended it all) or times when former villains return to help (the Three Ominous Stars’s motives for coming to help Earth?? Did I miss it when I was reading?). Also there’s times when things worked out too conveniently (There was never an explanation on why Takasugi knew about Utsuro other than to save exposition. My guess is Nobume told him after the Mimiwarigumi teamed up with the Kiheitai)

Ok. Back to the good stuff.

I started Gintama in 2013 when the second movie was coming out. There were some volumes in the library. I read the volume with the Kappa at the pond (with a girl speculated to be Fuyo) and the Shinsengumi-Yorozuya cherry blossom viewing. I didn’t get into the series immediately, but eventually I found it online and spent a long time catching up. I came in with expectations of a good shounen and walked away with my mind blown (lol). I caught up to the manga when it was on the Soul Switch arc, so my first serious arc while reading on a weekly basis was the Shinigami arc.

SAA was... well... nerve wracking. I was excited when Kamui and Takasugi appeared because what’s been built up for so long was finally there, and I was there to witness it as it was coming out. But that also comes with the anxiety of the Cliffhanger™. You know, basically every chapter ended with a twist. I was in disbelief when Zenzou decapitated the ‘Shogun’, shocked when that was subverted, frustrated when we finally got to the Gin vs Taka & Kagura vs Kamui and then the chapter left it off right there. Then the rest of that month I feared turning each page to find a character dead. Especially chapter 519 when the fight was really bloody. The forum’s reaction to 519 ending was fun though... We shared the pain.

A lot of these reactions could be found if I dive deep, deep into my gintama tag. Another two things I reacted strongly to: Kondo’s ‘decapitation’ dream left the gintama spoiler tag on tumblr screaming. Same went with the Utsuro reveal. As a result the manga fandom turned into S as we waited for the anime onlys to suffer like we have. A solidarity between those who underwent Sorachi’s emotional trauma ride.

A lot more things happened and suddenly Gintama reached its final arc. Things have never really gone back to normal after SAA but I always thought after a series of arcs it would get wrapped up and returned to status quo. I even thought at the time that SAA was the final arc since Takasugi and Kamui were the main antagonists for most of the series.

Okay, so despite the many times we were trolled about this series ending, we Gintama fans keep falling for it.

The second movie as the ‘end’ to the anime (containing surprising clues to the final arc actually)

That announcement during either FSA or Rakuyo about Gintama starting its final arc ‘next year’ and us panicking about Gintama not making it through 2017. Heh.

“Final Arc”

“Final Final Arc” a.k.a. what we thought was the epilogue that ended up turning into an arc of its own

“““Only “5″ chapters left I swear guys I promise”““ Sorachi

“GINTAMA IS MOVING TO JUMP GIGA”

The only response to that is:

“DONDAKEEEEEEEEEE?!”

#gintama spoilers #gintama #long post #do not read until you at least see the raws #my posts

[raw-output]

20 Years.

Two-thirds of a lifetime ago, a ten-year-old boy in a scratchy wool sweater sat huddled under an old down blanket. The first proper snow of the season had come the week before, and the boy hadn’t been dressed for building forts. Now here he was - bored, sick and sweaty. His mother entered the room with a mug of undrinkably hot milk with honey and butter. In her other hand was an issue of GAME.EXE, a computer gaming magazine. The words “HALF-LIFE” were plastered across the bottom of the cover. The boy loved reading, and loved computers, and the milk needed time to cool off anyway. He opened the magazine and flipped to page 8 after finding it in the table of contents. The boy grew older and switched languages, countries and continents, but his favorite game never changed.

-

It’s hard to compress two decades into text, but I will attempt to do so when it comes to my relationship with the Half-Life series that began all those years ago, with that preview article in that magazine.

The article  was written in a second-person perspective that really stuck out to me, and was filled with screenshots that would later turn out to be of an unreleased rough beta version of the game. It ran through several dramatized, episodic descriptions of events in the game, then listed out the weapons used in the game, the enemies you would face and the tactics to deal with them. Finally, there was an interview with Marc Laidlaw himself. This single article was sufficient to make me completely insufferable to my parents for the next few months. “I want to play Half-Life,” I would say. At first, this meant asking to go to an Internet cafe a few blocks away from home, and for money to pay by the hour and use one of their beefy gaming PCs. Later on, it meant asking for a copy of the game, and for time on the “main” home computer - the only machine that could run the game at all, in glorious 320x240 resolution that gave me headaches.

-

A couple of years passed. The move to the US threw everything into a pleasant state of disarray, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was having to ask my parents to use the computer to play Half-Life. I had found one of my own soon after arriving in the States, but it had no sound card. It was there, on my mother’s computer, that I finally beat the game. My thirteenth birthday present was a copy of the newly released Opposing Force expansion. My birthday cake featured an edible photo of myself playing in a fountain in downtown Chicago, which my mother doodled over with brightly colored frosting. I was now knee-deep in toxic green sludge, a crowbar in one hand, and a proud Lambda logo on my chest.

Most kids in my 8th and 9th grade classes didn’t share my enthusiasm for Half-Life. They played console games and were rightfully hyped about the Playstation 2 and X-Box. In search of like-minded people, I took to the Internet. My options for getting online in 2001 were limited to libraries - either during lunch at school, or at the Naperville Public Library, which was a hour-long walk from home. I discovered Planet Half-Life, an offshoot of the Gamespy network. Through it, I discovered the fact that my favorite game was designed from the ground up to be moddable. I learned of Counter-Strike, Team Fortress Classic, and Sven Co-op. I discovered the Handy Vandal’s Almanac and The Snarkpit, two communities focused on level design. Having no reliable internet at home, I downloaded the level editor - then called Worldcraft - onto a floppy drive and brought it home to install. For the first time, I wasn’t simply playing the game. My parents looked on as I worked to figure out the obtuse user interface, trying to remember what I’d read earlier in the day. They raised their eyebrows when I finally managed to compile and run my first level - a hollow, unlit concrete box 512 units across with a single prefab trashcan hovering in the center. There wasn’t much more I could do in the limited time I was allowed to use the good computer, but I had caught the bug. My notebooks were filled with doodles of level layouts, my mind filled with cheesy storylines to match.

Eventually my family moved to a house with proper internet access, and I got a set of hardware with enough power under the hood to run both the game and the editor. It could even produce sound! All the things I could only read and salivate about were now within my reach, and I gorged myself on them. Counter-Strike quickly fell by the wayside, but Team Fortress and Sven Co-Op did not. Natural Selection came out and blew me away with how different a Half-Life mod could look and feel from the original game. I stayed up past midnight, playing, building, and playing some more. I learned that projects can die - when the extremely tongue-in-cheek Scientist Slaughterhouse mod went silent.

The release of the Half-Life 2 trailer took everybody by surprise. I had called one of my like-minded friends and we synch-watched it together, pausing every few minutes to let the video buffer and gush about how amazing everything looked and how much we were looking forward to messing with the modding toolkit. The subsequent beta leak and resulting delays taught me to be patient.

The move to California was not long after, and my patience was immediately put to the test as most of my belongings were stuck with the moving company, including my computer. I must have gone through a full pack of printer paper in less than a month, drawing up concepts and layouts for Xen Rebels, a mod centered around a semi-peaceful human colonization of the realm set after the events of Half-Life. Once my computer arrived, it was right back to the late nights and groggy mornings for me. Our home Internet was bad but workable, and I spent countless hours with the new and more creative mods that were being released, including The Specialists - a strong attempt to recreate the gun-fighting and martial arts stylings of Hong-Kong action movies in a multiplayer game. Around the same time I was introduced to the strange new world of anime, and decided that I simply must change the two throwable knives offered by The Specialists into kunai and throwing needles. This of course required me to learn 3D modelling. At the time, this was done with Milkshape 3D, a model editor compatible with most contemporary game formats. Once again, countless hours of figuring out the interface and the workflow followed, set to the calming tones of the Unreal, Deus Ex and Half-Life soundtracks. Creating models felt a lot more freeform than levels as I wasn’t constrained to a unit grid or forced to use convex geometry, and one day the new throwing weapons were in. I published the modified models on a forum to exactly zero fanfare. Around the same time, I began learning the basics of Photoshop in school, so modelling and texturing went hand in hand. To say my early textures were atrocious would be an affront to honest, hard-working atrocious textures the world over, but I continued my studies. My experience with working in 3D even netted me a 2nd place award at the school art contest - money which I immediately put back into upgrading my computer.

Half-Life 2 came out in November of 2004, to universal praise and celebration. I received the collector’s edition as a present for New Year, along with a copy of Raising The Bar. I beat the game the same morning, without a wink of sleep between unwrapping my present and the final darkness of the credits screen. The SDK didn’t ship with the game, but as soon as it was released I dove in. Soon after, the modding community blossomed, bigger and more vibrant than the original game’s, driven by the incredible flexibility of the engine. One of the first mods that appeared was made by a British man named Garry, and was called simply that, “Garry’s Mod”. It let players interact with the physics engine, and slowly sprouted more and more features. Many players used these features to pose character ragdolls, eventually creating entire comic series with storylines ranging from the comedic non-sequitur to dark and serious. Of course I felt the need to try my hand at it. That lead to the creation of The Plane - the story of Beet, a Combine Elite who managed to break free of his overseers’ indoctrination and find friendship, love, and revenge on his old masters. The only redeeming feature of that story was that it taught me how not to write stories.

I began getting more attached to the Gmod community than the expressly level design one at The Snarkpit. The few levels I publicly released were designed specifically as sandboxes to play and build in. The most popular ones were gm_orbit and rp_bahamut, maps set in space and featuring zero gravity for physical objects, allowing players to build smaller spaceships, or roleplay as the crew of a salvage and exploration vessel. Posting teaser images on the forums taught me a valuable lesson - what it felt like to be the one creating hype, instead of experiencing it. The constant demands were overwhelming. Some would simply want more work-in-progress screenshots. Others would drop ultimatums that unless a certain feature was designed a certain way, they would refuse to use the map. Others yet attempted to worm their way into getting the map early, offering to test it and provide feedback. I had almost deleted each project multiple times before finally releasing it.

Life happened, and things with Half-Life slowed down. When the Orange Box came out in 2006, I attempted to get it at a five-finger discount at a local Target. I got caught. Indirectly thought it was, Half-Life taught me that idiocy often leads to consequences. Buying it legitimately later in the year and playing through Episode Two reminded me that some stories aren’t written to end neatly.

It was in 2007 that I bought a membership for the Something Awful forums, and discovered an avid and very exclusive community of Gmod players. Over the course of the following decade, most of these people remained in constant contact with me, and will probably remain so for the foreseeable future. I became an admin once we opened our serves to the public - moderating the newcomers and mentoring the unskilled. One of the people had a project in mind, and I began creating models again. Miraculously, Milkshape 3D remained compatible with the Source engine, so I worked with it until I learned Maya. This project would eventually become known as Armored Combat Framework, and be released to the Gmod community at large. I learned how to iterate designs based on feedback, and how it felt to work in a well organized team.

Frontier happened around 2010, and was another lesson in teamwork - specifically what happens when things break down without role redundancy. Ambitions ran high, and the hype mounted. The programmer eventually left, and all that remains of the project is the very videos and images that were used to hype it in the first place, and a folder full of now-useless models, maps and textures. That was probably what prompted me to start pulling away from Half-Life and Gmod in general.

Black Mesa came out in 2012 and breathed a new life into my old obsession. I played through the original Half-Life again, then through the remake, noting the differences and the tweaks to make the gameplay more palatable to modern-day players. It felt good, like putting on an old but comfortable jacket. I’d fire up the SDK now and then, mostly to help newer, more driven designers. Two of the guys from Team Frontier went on to work in the industry full-time. There were whispers of a new game in the works, minor leaks of file and folder names hidden away in Valve projects. Episode 3 turned into Half-Life 3. A full sequel, rather than another short episode, as originally planned. “HL3 Confirmed” became a meme, but the people at the top remained silent.

Life kept happening, as it does. I lost people, I found people. I left home. Every now and then I’d fire up HL or BM again, or drop by the old Gmod server. I’d build things and model things, and release none of it to the public. I watched as the Dota International became the most widely spectated event in gaming, making players, sponsors, and Valve millions. The realization slowly started settling in. Then Marc Laidlaw retired, and later posted the Epistle. The workers at Valve spoke of a lack of direction and stagnation that comes with a cornered market. Modding for an engine over a decade old, no matter how advanced, slowed down.

It’s a different world now. Unity and Unreal engines rule the scene. Survival and Battle Royale have become the new buzzwords. Microtransactions. Loot boxes. Streaming integration. Freemium. E-Sports. Mobile gaming. Virtual Reality. If a new Half-Life were to appear today, would it be changed by the zeitgeist, or would it stay the course set by its predecessors? I don’t know. But there’s one thing that the escapades of a mute, bespectacled research associate have taught me more than anything else: hope.

#half-life #anniversary #20 years #textwall #nostalgia