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ktsumu · 5 months

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RESOLUTIONS (this year is different) tw: alcohol consumption

This year, you wait for January in an apartment that is packed full.

You’re familiar with everyone, for the most part, all people who have played with Ushijima over the years, all people you’ve watched in one jersey or another. Everyone is laughing, happy — even Wakatoshi himself who, normally quite reserved, laughs with one of his teammates, a glass half-full in hand.

This year is different, you tell yourself.

You know that, whenever you're all drunk enough to call it a night, you’ll call a cab and go home, probably kiss on the way there. He’ll lean on the bathroom counter and giggle while you smear your makeup away with a wipe, then take it from you and do it himself. He’ll be so much worse at it, but he’ll be gentle, and you’ll let him.

This year, you’re going to let yourself be loved. You’re excited to let him.

You watch Wakatoshi from your place on the couch, a small smile on your face. Happy looks good on him; he’s handsome when he’s free. His smile gives him lines around his mouth, his eyes crinkle. His laugh is saccharine.

He doesn’t notice you’re watching, either, it’s not often he does. It’s not hard to be subtle — your eyes typically find him, anyway, golden boy wherever he goes.

This year, I’m going to let myself be loved.

You met him years ago, sort of in a situation like this. You were both in a bar in Tokyo, you think, and he stuck out like a sore thumb; freshly twenty and new to this, surrounded by teammates who made it obvious he’s never been to a bar before.

They also made it obvious he was new to a lot of things, likely why they made it so obvious in how they were jabbing his side with their elbows, nodding to you sat a few seats down. Go talk to her, she’s totally into you, she’s pretty!

(He didn’t even talk when he first sat down — you offered him a shot he probably needed and he took it.)

The rest is history.

It feels weird to think about going home. Home. You live with him, the bills get paid. He has smile lines and stretch marks on his shoulders. He’s going to take your makeup off for you because he’s seen you in every way you come. You have a house and you have a home — your friend said she thinks he might propose this year.

Growing pains are scarier when they’re not in your knees.

You only notice he’s moved when the couch sinks beside you. Wakatoshi sits next to you, a close-lipped smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he rests a hand on your thigh.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and it’s just the two of you.

You look over his face, his flushed cheeks. You smile, too. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Wakatoshi is gentle when he guides you towards him, his hand on your nape, kissing you like you’ve never done it before. He tastes like Tennessee, and like a resolution.

This year, I’m going to kiss him more.

“I love you,” he murmurs. “I’m glad I’m here with you.”

Whatever dread you carried before, it’s going away now.

“You are?” you tease, pulling back to really look at him. An anonymous hand walks by and ruffles his hair, like he’s scoring his first girl, and carries on. He doesn’t look up.

“Very.”

“Mm,” you hum, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I guess I’m glad I’m here with you, too.”

“I mean, I would hope so.”

“Hah,” you snort, “I’m excited to go home, too.”

He scoffs, as if he isn’t typically the reserved one; as if he wasn’t the one you had to convince to make a show here. “You want to get out so soon?”

“What, you’re not excited to deal with me at home?” you giggle, craning your head to look up at him. “Not excited to spend, like, a fat hour getting ready for bed?”

He snickers again, taking a sip of his drink. He squints like he drank it too quickly.

“Like last year?”

“Yup. Except, I don’t know about the last part. I’m gonna pass out the second I hit the mattress, ‘Toshi.”

“That’s okay, I’ll tuck you in.”

Your chest warms, and you both laugh. One of you starts it, but you don’t remember who.

“You’re gonna tuck me in and take my makeup off, huh?”

“Like last year,” he confirms. “And get you water — get us both water,”

“Mm, you’ll need it, big guy.”

“I am fine.”

“Yeah, I know. As long as you can see where my face is, that’s good enough for me.”

“I can find it blind,” he says simply, smoothing your hair back and out of your face. “But yes, I can see it fine.”

You smile all crooked — he tilts his head like he wants to see it upright.

“We’re gettin' older, huh ‘Toshi?”

“That is how years work, yes.”

“Going home,” you say; your thoughts are all out loud. “Going to bed.”

He smiles — he loves it. “Unless you want to stay out?”

“No, no, I want to. I’m just,” you take a deep breath, “thinking. This’ll be how many years?”

“Not enough,” he says simply. “I wanna do this forever.”

“Hah, well, I have no doubt your body could sustain years of New Years Eve parties—”

“I meant going home,” he interrupts. “Taking off your makeup, getting you water, and kissing you goodnight.”

Your heart swells to the point of being uncomfortable, the lump in your throat impossibly there. His hand hasn’t left your thigh, it hasn’t risen higher, it just sits there. His touch is warm like a swaddle, unmoving. It’s so familiar that you lean into it like you're being carried to bed.

Wakatoshi grins; it’s crooked and you tilt your head to see it upright. “Every year, I think I love you a little more.”

(The dread you had is gone now — why you ever had it, you don’t know for sure.)

This year is different, you tell yourself. This year, you’re gonna grow.

There’s a cheer throughout the room, all this laughter becoming a dull muffle when the room seems to reach the sound capacity the little space has. There’s kazoos, glass clinking, goofy hats falling to the floor — people are singing:

“Happy new year, love,” he murmurs, and he captures your lips again.

This year, I’m gonna grow.

I’m gonna let him love it, and maybe I’ll love it, too.

#not proofread but first fic of 2024 that i wrote in literally 20 minutes at best. be kind to her she's sensitive #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #tw alchohol mention #tw alcohol consumption #tw alcohol #kit writes

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sunandmhoon · 6 months

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Love Songs

Genre: fluff Pairing: Jeonghan X Reader “He thought about your mind, how crazy it must be, how tiring it must be. Who’s on your mind right now? Who has your time? Who have you been seeing? Why couldn’t you just be his?” w/c: 1926 a/n: Hello~~ new story hehe!! Also it’s fluff this time wooohooo. Also idk if you’ve noticed but every svt story so far has been based off a song…hmmm i wonder why that is?? (also I didn't proofread this so I'm sorry for any inconsistencies) ps: pics are from pintrest ctto :) MASTERLIST; OTHER WORKS Jeonghan was never a person that falls in love easily.

It’s not that he’s anti-romantic, or that he hates the concept of giving love or receiving love. In fact, on some days when the rain gets too loud, the room gets too cold and the sky gets too grey, he longs for a nice warm hug from a person that he loves.

He’s had girlfriends before, but they always end in the same way. The same, ‘it’s not you, it’s me” argument. And it is true, he can never find himself infatuated with a person for more than a month. He still finds them attractive of course but he’s never been interested in them, their goals, their big dreams or even their small ones.

That was until he met you.

Meeting you was like an angel appeared at his door; like a gift from cupid to cure his lonely heart. A gift in the form of a new roommate.

Seungkwan was staying in the flat with him before he moved out to his hometown, leaving behind his room and another part of the rent he had to pay. In his absence though, Seungkwan–ever the social butterfly– recommended the place to you, and although Jeonhan was wary at first, he definitely had to thank Seungkwan now.

When he first met you he felt as though his house was graced by a higher being. The sun flooded into the room in golden rays, shining around you, creating a halo above your head. And though he was the known heartbreaker around town, he felt his palms go sweaty and his ears turn hot. And when you spoke, he felt he got worse. Your voice sounded just like it was dipped in honey; smooth and sweet. He could listen to it forever. Your expressions were kind and gentle, you were the type of person that could lure anyone into your charm like a siren in the sea.

He was attracted to you, so so attracted to you, but he brushed it off. It was probably just that, Attraction, nothing more.

As the days went by you two grew closer. First it was catching each other in the kitchen at 3am for a midnight snack. From then on you started talking to each other more. You find out that he’s been living in the flat for five years, he finds out that you just moved to the city. He’s taken you around the area to get you familiar with your surroundings, you’ve cooked him dinner in exchange (and because he only eats ramen in the house). He’s introduced you to his friends, you’ve introduced him to your family.

You even go to him when you need to rant. School’s being annoying? Go to Jeonghan, Your parents are being annoying? Go to Jeonghan, the neighbour that for some reason finds the need to be up at 4am every single morning watching their soap opera at full volume with their door open is being annoying? Go to Jeonghan. Just like the new flat’s been your physical home, Jeonghan has been your emotional home.

You tell him everything, and even though he loves it, he loves that he could be a person you can come to–can talk to and rant to about your hardships, feelings, accomplishments, he somehow hates it when you come to him for advice on love.

“How do I get a boyfriend, Han?”, “Why don’t guys like me?” to “Han, I’ve been talking to this guy”, “what do you think of him?” to the dreaded, “He asked me out on a date!”, “How do I look?” he’s been there through it all. And he won't admit it–he can’t admit that he likes you, he can’t admit that he hates when you tell him not to wait up for you because you’ll be at Woozi’s for the night. He can’t admit that it bothers him that you come home, greet him and go to your room. He can’t admit that he’s lonely again, and that he misses when you would talk to him late at night about your dreams, inspirations, aspirations, goals or even just your shopping list.

And most of all, he hates that you have him listening to love songs. He never used to listen to love songs on purpose, let alone with someone in mind. Love songs have plagued his playlists, and he dreads the day that spotify wraps up his year into one big lovefest. You were sea, sunshine, star and moon; you were his cocoa butter kisses; you were what comes up in his mind when he listens to Daniel Caesar, Frank Ocean and even Drake. You were his in his mind, his playlist, his heart but not his in real life.

He started doing his work in the living room just to see your face, to see you in the kitchen, on the couch or even leaving for school or work or to your boyfriend’s house, because the longer you were with Woozi, the shorter you were in the house.

That was until one day when he came home from work. The world seemed to mirror the same sad mood he’s been in for the past month; heavy rain, grey skies, cold air. It was the kind of weather that made him feel even more lonelier than he already was. He was just about to pass the living room to go to his room when he noticed you asleep on the sofa.

You looked so peaceful that he didn’t want to move, afraid that even the smallest step could wake you up from your slumber. He stood there for what felt like hours but were only a couple of seconds when he was suddenly snapped back to reality with a cold rush of air down his spine. The room was getting colder, he noticed, and he saw you rustling around the couch–no doubt affected by the coolness too.

He saw that your shoulder was exposed to the cool air and quickly but quietly rushed to get a blanket. He placed the blanket over your body, gently tucking the ends to your sides, effectively blocking any coldness from reaching your skin. He froze as you moved, thinking you had woken up, but sighed as he saw you snuggling into the warm comfort of the blanket, continuing your peaceful nap.

He cleaned the area around you, the tissues, empty soda cans, empty chips. You must’ve eaten yourself into a food coma, he thought, smiling at the thought of your well fed self falling into a deep sleep. However his smile dropped as your phone lights up. Rows and rows of notifications piled up on your lockscreen, all from your boyfriend begging you to ‘take him back’, ‘forgive him’, ‘trust him to do better’. And then it made sense to him. The food, the tissues, your exhaustion.

Once he finished cleaning up, he just couldn’t find himself to leave you in the living room all alone. You must have been sad, angry, upset, tired and vulnerable right now, and he would hate himself if he knew he was leaving you in such a state.

He also couldn’t get over the last notification he saw from your phone–he knows that it wasn’t the best thing to go scroll your notifications, but it was there and he couldn’t help it (pls forgive him)-- ‘I can be better than him’.

Him?

Is there someone new?

He sat on the ottoman, beside where your head was laying on the pillow and watched as you breathed. Your chest would rise and fall in steady patterns, showing that you’ve fallen into a deep sleep. Your eyelashes were feathered along your eye, and he couldn’t help but be charmed by it. Him, charmed by the simple sight of eyelashes? He couldn’t believe how much he changed, how much you changed him. Your lips were slightly parted, a pale pink and full. He wondered how it would feel against his own, would they be soft? By the looks of it, he thinks it would.

You looked so peaceful and angelic and he couldn’t help but think about how much you’re going through right now. He thought about your mind, how crazy it must be, how tiring it must be. Who’s on your mind right now? Who has your time? Who have you been seeing? Why couldn’t you just be his?

He knows that you had a boyfriend but still, despite that, why did you stop talking to him as much? You used to be texting him all the time, checking on him all the time, staying up with him all the time. But recently, your interactions were shorter than two sentences. Was it your boyfriend? Was it you? Was it him?

“If you let me,” he whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear gently, “we could paint a perfect picture, we could even last forever.” he sighed as he feels how strong he loves you–it scares him, he’s never felt this way with anyone before. “I’ll even let you wear my sweaters, I know how you get cold so easily,” he said as his eyes traced your face, from your hairline down to your eyebrows to your eyes, to your nose to your lips. He smiled at how perfect you were. “I’m so horribly down for you, Y/N,” he said, “for the worse or the better,” he added.

“To be honest, I hate it,” he said, surprising himself with the sudden confession, “I hate how much I feel for you because It’s so strong that it’s hurting me. But I don’t care, I will keep sticking to you, Y/n,” he breathed in, “Because I love you.”

And although you were sound asleep, he still felt as if the weight of the world has left his shoulders. The burden of keeping it trapped within his heart has finally disappeared, and even though he knew that this confession was done in vain as he knew that pouring his heart out doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate it, he still felt happy that it’s out there.

Maybe you were asleep, but your heart was listening.

He noticed how the sun had disappeared and the clock was moving into the double digits. He knew that your back was going to be painful if you slept there overnight, so he took you in his arms, the blanket wrapped tightly around you still; like a burrito, and carried you over to your room. There he tucked you in properly, propping your head gently a top your soft pillows, laying the comforter over your, keeping the sides snug. Before he turned off the side lamp, his self control had left his body with his confession as he bent down placing a gentle peck on your forehead. When he felt that everything was done, windows checked, you tucked in, lamp turned off, he headed out the door.

“Jeonghan,” you called softly, your voice still groggy from your nap. He froze by the doorframe, turning to you.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too,” you told him, a soft smile growing on your face before you turned over and fell back to sleep.

No amount of self control could stop the smile that was blooming on his face, his mind was fuzzy, his heart was racing. He watched you for a little bit more, the same love-struck smile on his face to see if you were still sleeping.

“Sweet dreams, love,” he whispered before leaving.

He needs to give Seungkwan a gift basket.

-fin.

Like, comment and reblog pls :)

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pseudowho · 3 months

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Pen-Pals

He was your first boyfriend. You were his first real connection with someone outside the Jujutsu world. And it's not that he intended to catfish you...he really didn't.

Note: THIS IS NOT A "FURRY" STORY. ITS A HEARTWARMING TALE ABOUT THE READER FINDING A PLACE IN JUJUTSU SOCIETY, THROUGH HER PENPAL, PANDA 🐼

SFW, fluff, a bit of angst.

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You were fifteen, when you got your first boyfriend.

At least-- you saw him that way. He was your penpal, first. Your...oddity had left you lonely. Isolated. Friendships were hard, and functioning like you didn't see monsters on every street corner, every underpass, was even harder.

With numerous psychological assessments before the age of ten, seeing your mother and father in tears outside the Psychiatrist's office...no. It would not do. You told nobody else after that, simply living in your haunted little world, head down, desperate not to be noticed by them.

You soothed yourself to sleep every night, imagining lilac clouds and fields of wildflowers, instead of blackened fingers closing, bone-brittle, round the edges of your wardrobe.

He went by 'Panda'-- a cute pseudonym, and how he had signed off all of his letters, ever since you had matched with him on the Pen Pal Seeker website.

And how you loved him. Despite his dreadful handwriting, his thoughts were sincere, warm without being patronising, funny and abstract in the most oddly conversational way. He poured his heart out to you, and you to him. You yearned to know him better, but delighted in the mystery of a secret lover.

Panda had just a father, one older brother and one older sister. He went to a boarding school. He took hand-to-hand combat as a sport. His best friend was quiet, but tough and kind.

And he saw the monsters too. At first you were doubtful, your pen hesitating on the page. Do I tell him? He'll think I'm a freak. I probably won't even get a letter back...you told yourself all this, as you wrote yourself bare to him. As you posted the letter. As you waited, chewing your nails to stubs, certain you had royally screwed up.

The clatter of the letter box. Your frantic footsteps tumbling down the stairs, shoving your father aside-- "hey kiddo, where's the fire?"-- to reach the stack of post first, seeing your name in his hand--

...and his words. Oh, you loved him so.

You're not alone! I can see them too. Lots of us can at my school. Try not to let them notice you looking...

You kicked backwards onto your bed, the letter pressed to your chest, one arm over your eyes as you kicked your feet in glee, trying not to cry.

It was settled-- you had to know him. You had to meet him.

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Skipping school the next day, you felt like everyone around you on the street knew it. You felt like a criminal, hitching your bag over one shoulder, keeping your gaze downwards as you spent your savings on a train ticket to Tokyo.

The train journey was full of blushing imagination, running through how you would greet him, again and again and again, each time stupider and more embarrassing than the last.

Hey, Panda, it's me. Hi Panda...how've you been? Boo! Ahaha just kidding...unless--

As your footsteps carried you along your phone map, glancing up and down to see yourself wander into the tree-shade hush of outer-Tokyo...your coming here became a worse and worse idea.

What were you thinking? Panda was going to think you were absolutely mad! You didn't even know his real name. He might have been some sixty year old creep just pretending to be a kid like you. What if he wrote to loads of girls? What if he gave you one look and was embarrassed by what he had been writing to? What--

You stood at huge wooden gates, encircling a beautiful stack of traditional Japanese buildings, winding away up the rolling hills. Your finger hovered over a buzzer. You tasted copper as your teeth bit into your lip, bubbling over with internal conflict, before stabbing down on the buzzer, greeted by a shrill ringing.

A voice-- "Name, please?"

You stuttered, announcing your name. Silence on the other line. You elaborated.

"Panda, uhm-- I'm here to see Panda. About...about the monsters. I'm...I'm a friend."

Silence...clickcrrreeeeeeeak.

You stepped back, gripping your bag like a shield as the gates heaved slowly open. Hesitant footsteps crunched over gravel, carrying you in. You had not thought about the particulars of actually finding Panda, and you gazed around you, stumped.

You stood to attention, seeing two figures move down the twisting stepped path ahead of you. A girl, stern, bespectacled. A boy, tired-looking but friendly, with big dark eyes and a white funnel-neck collar. They saw you, and shared a glance, before stepping over. The gates swung closed behind you.

The girl didn't waste any time; "How do you know Panda?" she demanded, one hand on her hip, eyes narrow through her glasses. You gulped, feeling dizzy from the volume of strange power rolling off the boy beside her.

"I...we...he writes to me. To each other. We write to each other." The boy's eyebrows quirked up in surprise. He looked to the girl with a light smile. The girl scowled.

"I didn't know Panda could write," she grumbled. You blinked, once, confused and beginning to feel nauseous, the boy's presence alone crushing in on you--

"Hey..." the boy started gently, stepping closer to you, "...maybe-- maybe you should go? Panda's not really good to see anyone right now-- oh hey-- Maki--"

You had lurched sideways, retching on the gravel as the boy held you gently round the waist. Maki looked unaffected, continuing to frown down at you as you sniffled, hiccuping, mortified, of course he didn't want to see you--

"I'm sorry you're right, I should just-- I'll go I just--" you babbled, standing and stepping back, the boy letting go of you hesitantly, warm brown eyes cut with genuine concern, "--he just-- he said he could see the monsters like me and I--"

The boy and the girl both paused, mouths dropping open in...realisation? The girl, Maki, slapped the boy on the shoulder with the back of her hand, and he crumpled like wet tissue; "Dull it down Yuuta...you're making her sick."

"I think...you should come with us, and uhm....meet Panda," Yuuta offered, rubbing his shoulder and smiling softly at you. You sniffled, glancing between them both.

"...really?" Your heart clenched, hopeful, excited.

Walking between them, up the twisting path, you did not yet realise you had found your new home.

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"How much do you...know about Panda?" Maki asked, seated opposite you in a dusty wood-panelled classroom.

"Oh, uhm...he goes to this school. He has an older brother, an older sister, he practices martial arts..." you continued to reel off your relationship with him, enclyclopedic. At each point, Maki seemed to be waiting for something that never came. Her face was set in a grim line.

"Panda's not like the rest of us," she stated, blunt, "And I don't know if you'll--"

The door slid open. Yuuta poked his head in, catching your eye with an uncertain smile.

"Panda's here. He can't wait to meet you." You stood up, smoothing your skirt, twisting your hands together, straightening your hair. Maki and Yuuta glanced apprehensively to each other.

"Just, uh...just don't scream, yeah?" You frowned at Yuuta, laughing;

"Why would I scre--"

As a full-grown Panda walked into the classroom, shrieks rang out of the windows across Jujutsu High.

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Sat by the little brook, you sobbed your heart out, your face being gently dried by an enormous black and white paw, the other round your shoulder, holding you against--

"-- a literal Panda! You're a fucking Panda!"

Maki shook her head disapprovingly behind you both, glaring at Panda; "I can't believe you pretended to be human--"

Panda gaped, appalled, "I never told her I was human!" Yuuta laughed into his hand, struck by the bizarreness of the situation.

"Of course she'd assume you're human--"

"-- I don't like to assume what you humans think, but anyway, she's smart and kind and I knew she wouldn't judge-- stop laughing, Okkotsu-- can you guys just leave us alone? For a minute?"

You laughed despite yourself, patting Panda's enormous paw, engulfed in his behemoth furry embrace. Yuuta stood, gently dragging a still protesting Maki away. Silence fell. The river whispered down the stones. The sunlight softened in the rustling leaves.

"...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mislead you. I just...liked talking to you. I've never had someone who-- who didn't know what I-- ...I'm sorry," Panda finished, weakly. You blinked back tears, wiping your nose.

"...it's okay. I'm the same. And you're the best person I-- my favourite person-- you've helped me with so much and I love you--" Panda's ears perked, and he looked down at you with joy.

He continued, gruff with emotion; "It's the right thing that you're here, though. You need to learn more about these monsters. Maybe you can even stay."

It was your turn to look at Panda with joy.

You sat in companionable silence, delighting in the company of a new friend. You hesitated again, your cheeks scattered with pink.

"Can you uhm...can I still say you were my first boyfriend, though?"

Oh. If pandas could blush.

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Many years later, tied to a chair in the dank Curse users' hideout you had infiltrated, you smirked to see the men around you step backwards from the door in horror.

Beyond the door, an incoherent din of bestial roars, men screaming, furniture smashing. One of the men beside you squeaked in terror, clapping a hand over his mouth before grabbing you roughly by the face.

"What is-- what is that thing? Out there?" He demanded, shaking with terror. You laughed, your face squished in his hand.

"That's my ex-boyfriend. He's called Panda, he's 6 foot 7, and he's here to fuck you up."

The door flew off its hinges with a metallic bang, and the men around you scrabbled to run for their lives. A hulking mass of black and white filled the doorway.

"What are you guys doin' to my girl, huh?"

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I don't know where this came from, but I love Panda 🐼

#jjk #jujustu kaisen #panda jjk #jjk panda #maki zenin #yuuta okkotsu #Panda x Reader #Never thought I'd make that fucking tag #pseudowho #pseudowho writes fluff #jjk fluff

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natsukishinomiyaswife · 1 month

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⋆ 𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓬𝓱: 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓑𝓮𝓮𝓷 ⋆

Please note: This is a repost from my old blog, @sugarcookiesheep!

Warning: For this story, the Reader is implied to be Fem, but no pronouns are used

⋆ They say your wedding day should be one of the happiest days of your life. A day where you and the one you love exchange vows, giving yourselves to each other, promising to spend the rest of your lives together. Many people dream of this day, what they would wear, what it would be like. You had dreamed of this day too, picturing yourself walking down the aisle. Now that the day has come, you can’t help the dread you feel, stomach in knots as you finished getting ready.

⋆ You met Jade and Floyd through the Mostro Lounge, having been a regular customer. You were drawn in by the food, the atmosphere, and became close with the staff, particularly Jade. He was always your server whenever you stopped by, having memorized your order by the third visit and your name by the fourth. You found yourself growing fond of the conversations you would have, simple small talk at first that grew to him joining you on his lunch break. Your feelings for Jade became more, leading you to confess to him. You were surprised by his rejection, having thought your feelings were mutual. You didn’t come back to the Lounge for a long time after that, heartbroken and unwilling to see him. When you did come back, Floyd was your server, with Jade nowhere to be found. As you talked and laughed with Floyd you missed Jade standing across the room, staring at you with a sad smile on his face.

⋆ You remember the day you and Floyd got engaged, Jade congratulating you and saying how happy he was for you both.

If you’re happy, then why is there sadness in your eyes?

If you’re happy, then why do your words seem strained, like you forced yourself to say them?

You had to keep reminding yourself that Jade was the one that rejected you, that Jade was the one who didn’t want you.

If you rejected me, then why do you look at me with such longing?

If you didn’t want me, then why do I feel like a regret?

Doubt filled your mind over the years, keeping you up at night and leaving you feeling conflicted. The times when you and Jade would interact were awkward at best, tension in the air with words left unsaid. Floyd would go quiet during these moments, his stare filling you with guilt as you looked away in shame.

How cruel, you thought, feeling like you could cry.

How cruel, you thought, letting your tears fall once you were alone.

⋆ You took a deep breath, your hair and makeup done. As you stared in the mirror Azul entered the room, complimenting you on your appearance and letting you know the ceremony was about to start. As you headed down the hall the dread you felt became worse, feeling nauseous as you came to the doors. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you tried to calm down. Soon the organ began to play, the doors opening as you headed down the aisle.

⋆ Your eyes lit up when you saw Floyd, a small smile gracing your face. That smile fell when you saw Jade standing next to him, his eyes soft as he stared at you lovingly. Though he was smiling, there was a sadness to it, making you look away. You focused on Floyd, your smile coming back as you reached him. You took his hands in yours, the dread you felt now at the back of your mind.

This is what you wanted, this is who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Yet, as you stood there, waiting to say your I do’s, you look back towards Jade and find that you can’t respond.

Originally posted: February 13th, 2024

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

#♡.sheep writes #♡.twst #♡.jade leech #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #jade x reader

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sunshinebingo · 3 months

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@gwynrielweeksofficial Day 3 - Confessions

Synopsis: Azriel is nervous about something important that he has to tell Gwyn.

Word Count: 1.4k

Read on Ao3

This is it. This is the day. Azriel is going to confess. Finally!

He has gone through a hundred different scenarios in his head and rehearsed a thousand different speeches. All of this in the hope for the best possible ending to this conversation. He isn’t even sure whether he is prepared enough for it. Anything can go wrong. But he can do it. Right?

Some may well think that it is no big deal. But for Azriel, and since it is Gwyn, it is the biggest of deals. He has felt the blood draining from his face the moment the realisation has hit him. Since then, a sense of dread has filled him every time he has thought of telling her. They have spent a lot of time together in the past week but the fear of her reaction has taken over every single time he had thought about admitting it to her.

Even now, he is still nervous despite being, as Gwyn likes to say, older than some of the rocks that have been used to build Velaris, and having been through much worse experiences in his life. But this is Gwyn. And he won’t be able to take it if he somehow ruins the precious thing that is their relationship. A few months aren’t nearly enough. He wants to spend years with his Gwyn. Centuries during which he intends to cherish her like she deserves and build a life with her.

“You know I care about you, right?” he mumbles to himself while pacing the length of his room. “No. You know that I care a lot about you, right?”

And on and on he goes until three knocks sound at the door of his bedroom and it opens without waiting for his response.

“Hi,” Gwyn’s sweet greeting soothes him as she walks in.

Azriel prays that her good mood will not be completely ruined by the upcoming conversation. He waits until she kisses his cheek – something that she always does when they meet, even if they are simply crossing paths and going about their business two seconds later – before he takes her hands and guides her to the bed. She sits down on the edge of the mattress with no question except for the silent one visible in her eyes and furrowed brows.

“I have something important to tell you,” he starts, squeezing her hand and kneeling down in front of her.

This is it. There is no going back now that he has her full attention. He has been holding onto this for long enough anyway. She deserves to know the truth.

“Is something wrong, Az?”

Azriel brings her hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles before placing their joined hands back on her lap.

“Gwyn.”

He takes a deep breath in. And on his exhale, he looks at her in the eyes and finally lets the truth come out.

“I lost your favourite book.”

Silence follows. Azriel’s eyes scan her face in search of a reaction so that he can know whether he should start running now or if he will have the time to give her an explanation and an apology. Gwyn’s face remains blank though her body has gone quite rigid since he uttered his last word. These could truly be his last words if she suddenly pulls out a dagger.

“Which one?”

A little relief washes over him at the calmness in her tone. It is short-lived however and disappears as soon as he notices her reaction at his following response.

“The one you lent me last week.”

Her eyes widen. Azriel feels her grip tightening on his hands.

“The first edition one?”

Azriel nods while internally debating if he should launch into the explanation and apology part now or if interrupting her interrogation will upset her more. So many questions and none leaving him feeling less guilty and nervous.

“The one that I tracked across Prythian for weeks?”

He nods again.

“And that by some miracle I managed to get the author to sign?”

He gulps. And nods again.

“HOW COULD YOU?” she shouts and harshly pulls her hands away as she stands up.

“I’m sorry, Gwyn,” he pleads. “I took it with me on my last mission so I could read it. It’s only when I got back home and looked for it that I realised my mistake.”

Gwyn crosses her arms and looks down at him with all the anger a female who has lost her most treasured possession can possess. It probably won’t take long before the dagger comes out.

“How could you be so careless? This isn’t meant to go promenading with. You know how much this means to me.”

Azriel abandons all the pretty speeches and decides to just go for the truth. He grabs Gwyn’s hand again and looks up at her from where he still kneels at her feet.

“It was extremely stupid of me. I’m so sorry. I’m already doing everything I can to find you another one.”

Gwyn stomps her foot down like a petulant child. “Yes. It was stupid of you,” she grits out.

She tries to withdraw her hand again but this time he holds on. She tugs harder, trying to turn away from him. Azriel holds onto her hand firmly even as she turns her back to him.

“Please don’t stay mad at me. I will make it up to you. I love you so much and I can’t stand when you’re cross with me.”

Gwyn suddenly stops trying to free her hand from his and slowly turns towards him.

“You... What?”

“I will make it up to you,” he promises.

He will do anything to avoid that Gwyn keeps her distance from him. He knows that she will be even more stubborn about it when he is the one at fault. The last time they had an argument, Gwyn, the petty minx, has done everything she could to be in his vicinity but not actually interact with him. It has been torture watching her act as though he wasn’t there at all.

“No. Not that. You said...”

“What? Don’t stay mad at me?”

“No, you idiot,” she says with an exasperated eye roll. “You...love me?”

Azriel frowns at her in confusion. “Of course I love you,” he answers matter-of-factly.

He watches as her expression morphs from shock after the anger to what he can only describes as wonder. A smile starts to brighten her face again and Azriel swears that tears start to line her ocean eyes. It only causes his confusion to grow.

“Wha- why are you smiling? Are you not mad anymore? Is it because I lo–”

He stops. And realises that it is the very first time that this confession has come out of his mouth.

“Oh!”

“Oh?”

Gwyn’s smile turns into a smirk while Azriel tries to process what he had just said. And why he didn’t say it sooner. Hasn’t he known for a while that he loves her? Hasn’t he been thinking earlier about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? Of course he loves her. And it has taken a stupid mistake for his mind to come to terms with what his heart already knows.

“I love you,” he whispers more to himself, as though testing the words on his tongue.

“I love you,” he says, louder, when he looks up at her.

Gwyn’s laughter prompts his own. At the first tear that rolls down her blushing cheek, Azriel stands on his feet, cups her face and kisses her as though he has been deprived of her lips for a long time. He pulls away after a while and lifts her up to twirl her around, barely avoiding that they crash into any furniture around the room.

“I love you too,” she says in between laughs after he finally allows her feet to touch the ground again. “And I forgive you for now.”

Azriel looks down at the one he is certain is the love of his life. She is it. Though right now he has no idea what he is being forgiven for.

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger #fluff and fun #I don't really know what to think of this tbh #gwynriel fic #gwynriel weeks 2024 #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #pro gwynriel

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herrscherofinsanity · 10 months

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Not the 'meet cute' I expected

Summary: Growing up you kept hearing stories about how romantic it was to meet your soulmate, you never expected yours to be the complete opposite of that.

Fluff

Kim Minjeong x reader

Soulmate AU

Word count: 1.4k

(I found this gif on google, credits to whoever it belongs to because it definitely isn't mine)

______________________

Soulmates. A very common concept in today’s society, yet something no one’s been able to explain. Whether it was in a platonic or a romantic way, everyone had that one person they were meant to find and keep in their lives forever, and you were no exception.

While there were multiple ways in which the universe could help you find your soulmate, the most common one was getting a single sentence written neatly across your wrist. The sentence was meant to be the first thing your soulmate would say to you when the first meeting took place.

Your soulmate’s first words to you could show up at any given time. There were those lucky enough to get said mark the moment they were born; others, considered late bloomers, got their marks once they reached the age of sixteen. It was almost unheard of not getting your mark once you hit that age.

You were one of those late bloomers, desperately waiting to finally find out what your soulmate would say once they made their way to you.

You kept hearing stories from your parents, your closest friends, and even some of your classmates. They all loved to go on and on about how perfect and romantic the whole encounter was. It only helped to fuel your excitement, it kept your expectations high, wondering how your soulmate would sweep you off your feet.

Your sixteenth birthday finally came around and you were beyond excited to find out what was going to mark the beginning of your forever. Mustering up the courage to read what was written on your wrist, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and finally laid eyes on your new mark…

The only thing you could make out was your friend’s loud laugh echoing through your phone’s speaker as you tried to bury your face on a stray pillow.

“Thank you so much for your support, Jaime, I feel so much better” you said sarcastically.

Once she caught her breath your friend managed to reply “I’m sorry, but you can’t really blame me for laughing, your soulmate sounds like they’re really something else”.

You rolled your eyes. You had been staring blankly at the seven words written neatly across your left wrist for the past hour.

My friend over there thinks you’re hot.

You sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning, you just couldn’t believe your luck. You waited sixteen years for that? Surely there must be some sort of mistake, there’s just no way that’s the first thing that’s going to go through your soulmate’s head when they see you for the first time. You tried to brace yourself for whatever bizarre situation you were going to be in if that was really the first thing your soulmate would say. Things can’t get any worse than this, right?

______________________

Minjeong had known what her soulmate would say the first time they met ever since she was twelve, and she had spent the next four years feeling perplexed, to say the least.

Written across her right wrist in bold letters were six words that kept her up at night:

Tell your friend I’m not interested.

Minjeong did not understand just why or in what kind of context her soulmate would say something like that. What bothered her even more was the fact that her friends were most definitely going to be involved. She groaned knowing very well her friends would make the whole thing even more embarrassing than it needed to be.

Minjeong sighed, she was kind of dreading the inevitable meeting…

______________________

It was a random Tuesday when it finally happened.

You woke up that morning feeling completely normal, nothing seemed to be out of place, there was nothing to give away the fact that you were going to run into your unromantic soulmate that day.

You did things as you normally would, the only thing that differed from your usual routine was the impromptu visit to a café not far from your school grounds.

One of your friends had suggested visiting a new café that had recently opened up near your high school. It had good reviews, and the prices were accessible enough so you didn’t really have any reason to not go.

When you walked into the cozy café the first thing you noticed was that two tables were already occupied. One of them was taken by an old man and a toddler, the other one was taken by four girls who seemed to be around the same age as you guys were.

As you were making your way towards an empty table, you made eye contact with one of the girls sitting at the occupied table. The girl had long black hair, a small face and an intimidating look in her eyes, however, what caught your attention the most was the mole by her mouth. The intimidating looking girl was attractive, you couldn’t deny that, but she wasn’t really your type. You looked towards the girl sitting beside her, and when you locked eyes with her you felt a heat wave coursing through your body, it made you dizzy.

You quickly made your way to an empty seat and tried to calm your increasing heart rate. You felt like your whole body was on fire, especially your left wrist, you felt like the whole café was spinning.

“Is it just me or is this place way too hot? Don’t they have an AC?” you muttered to one of your friends.

She shook her head looking at you with concern in her eyes “I’m actually feeling a little chilly myself, the room feels perfectly normal”.

“I think I’m gonna be sick, I’m feeling a bit nauseous and my whole body feels like it’s on fire” you whined.

As your friend was about to reply, one of the girls from the other table approached you. She stood right beside you and being so close you noticed how tense she looked, yet that wasn’t what you focused on. The girl was beautiful, her short brunette hair complimented her soft facial features perfectly. She looked like an angel, and you would’ve spent forever staring at her if she hadn’t cleared her throat, purposefully shaking you out of your daydream.

The girl swallowed thickly before staring straight into your eyes and saying a combination of words you sure were not expecting to hear today.

“My friend over there thinks you’re hot”.

______________________

As soon as the words left her mouth, Minjeong noticed you tensing up, she heard a gasp coming from one of the other occupants of the table but her whole attention was set on you.

Minjeong had noticed you from the very moment you stepped foot in the café, she felt as if you were calling out to her. When you finally made eye contact Minjeong felt as if her whole world was on fire and she would go insane if she didn’t get close to you. However, to Minjeong’s dismay, she hadn’t been the only to notice you. Her best friend, Jimin, had also set her eyes on you when you walked in.

Jimin insisted that you were without a doubt her soulmate, and Minjeong felt the sudden need to punch her friend. How could she be talking about you like that? Minjeong didn’t like it one bit. As if the world was conspiring against her, Jimin kept pestering her with going up to you and being her wingwoman. Minjeong refused, but everyone knew Jimin was stubborn to a fault. Minjeong doesn’t know how, but she ended up going along with whatever it was that Jimin said and approached you.

“My friend over there thinks you’re hot” Minjeong said in a monotone voice.

You tensed up but quickly regained your composure and narrowed your eyes in her direction.

“Tell your friend I’m not interested”.

Minjeong gasped at your words, the unbearable heat she was feeling was quickly replaced by a sudden chill, yet her right wrist still felt like it was going to burst into flames any second now.

You carefully stared at the stranger before you, analyzing her reaction after you uttered your response. As if deciding something, you abruptly stood up and put out your hand so Minjeong could shake it.

“Hi, I’m y/n” you said with what Minjeong could only describe as the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

“I’m Minjeong…” she said shyly as she tried to return your bright smile. You giggled at that, the girl standing before you was definitely adorable.

“It’s very nice to meet you, soulmate”.

______________________

A/N: Hi everyone! I wanted to keep this short, sweet and light hearted, I hope you guys enjoy it. If you have any requests or anything let me know, I'm always up for making new friends.

My next work will probably be longer than Meeting Yu again, I'll try to finish it this weekend or so, it will also feature our lovely Yu Jimin so I hope you're as excited for it as I am :)

#aespa imagines #aespa scenarios #aespa #winter imagines #winter scenarios #kim minjeong x reader #winter x reader #kim minjeong imagines #aespa x fem reader #kim minjeong

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mariposa-writes · 1 year

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The Assistant - Travis Kelce Pt 1.

Travis Kelce x Reader

Summary: Your Travis assistant.

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: New series alert! Can't wait to see where this story takes me. Also feel free to request stories and I'll try to write them as soon as possible.

"He is not going to fire you." Your best friend Megan replied.

"Yes he is, how am I going to be his full time assistant when I need assistance myself." You'd just gotten some of the worse news of your life. You'd torn your ACL and meniscus, while snowboarding with your friends.

"Y/n I'm pretty sure it's against the law." Megan replied.

"Maybe, but we don't even have a contract. So he could prob get away with it." You wanted to cry. "I have to call him or something. He's expecting me back at work in two days."

You had ended your vacation 1 week earlier than planned. Your friends were currently in Colorado, enjoying the last few days of winter up there. Soon there wouldn't be enough snow and the ski resorts would be closing.

You were originally from Colorado, but moved to Kansas the year after you graduated high school. You'd been living in Kansas City, for the past 7 years and had been working as Travis's assistant for the past year and a half.

"Babes, we're almost at the slopes so I'm gonna have to let you go." Megan said.

"Alright, talk later." you replied before hanging up.

You knew you couldn't avoid Travis anymore, you'd been hiding in your house all week. Dreading the conversation you'd have to have with him. Maybe you could just keep walking on your leg, until the beginning the next off season. Yea, not possible considering your knee was only getting worse as time continued.

There was only about a week left before practices start back up and it was back to the everyday grind. Travis had agreed to let you take a week and a half off to go snowboarding in Colorado, since ski season had lasted a whole month longer than normal.

You got out of bed and decided to get dressed to head over to Travis's. You figured the best way to break the new would be in person. You slowly walked down the stairs and to your car, your knee only giving out twice on the way down. Luckily both times you were holding onto the railing.

You were doing a front flip while snowboarding, when you hurt it. After not sticking your landing you laid in the snow knowing something was wrong.

You were always pretty in tuned with your body, always knowing when you were sick or something was actually wrong. Like when you broke your wrist at 11 years old and knew it wasn't just a sprain. You could always tell when an ear infection was coming on as a kid. You knew when you needed to go to the doctor and when you could wait it out.

This was one of those times where you knew something was wrong. Your knee felt different and it wasn't like you just landed wrong and it would feel better in a few days. You could tell this was more serious.

You waited a few days to go to the doctor even though you knew something was wrong. As a kid your mom always told you that if she took you too the doctor and nothing was wrong you were gonna have to pay the medical bill, so you learned to just wait most things out.

Now as a result of that you hated going to the doctor.

After being home for two days and no improvement on your knee, you knew you had to go.

That's when they broke the news to you and told you what was wrong.

Now you were sitting in Travis's driveway working up the courage to tell him what had happened. After a few more minutes you walked up to his front door and rang the bell.

You could hear Travis barreling down the stairs, as you waited patiently at the door. "Y/n?" He tilted his head, clearly confused as to why you were here. "What are you doing here? You still have two days left of vacation."

"Um, can we go inside and talk?" You asked nervously.

Travis nodded slowly, "Yea, let's go to the living room." He moved out of the door, letting you in. You headed for the living room with him trailing behind.

Travis could swear he felt the nervousness radiating off of you. Which was also making him nervous.

You headed towards the living room, Travis trailing closely behind you. You'd almost made it all the way when your knee ended up giving out on you.

Travis quickly grabbed your hip, keeping you from falling while you planted a hand on the wall. You don't know how his reaction time was so fast, but you supposed that's why he's in the NFL.

You waited for a few seconds making sure your knee was okay, before walking the rest of the way to the couch. Travis kept his hand on your back worried you'd almost fall again.

"Sorry," you pointed the the spot where you almost fell. "About that back there." You clarified.

"Y/n, what's going on?" He asked sitting down in the chair across from his couch.

"I-um" you wiped your sweaty palms on your sweats, trying to calm down. Travis didn't rush you, he just waited patiently. You took a deep breath, "I tore my ACL and meniscus." You blurted out, just wanting to get it over with.

"How?" Was his first question

"Snowboarding, Front flip." you added at the end.

"Who's taking you to the surgery?" Travis knew a lot about torn ACLs considering it was a pretty common injury in the sports world.

"I'm not sure, I'll probably drive myself there and Uber home."

"You don't have any family to take you?"

"No."

"Friends?"

"Nope." You replied popping the P. You and Travis weren't really friends. You guys didn't talk about your personal lives, well you knew about his but you kept yours pretty private plus he never asked.

It made since that he didn't know you were pretty much alone here. You'd never told him anything about your past, considering you moved here to get away from it.

"I thought you were going snowboarding with friends, they can't take you?"

"They live in Colorado, I was visiting them."

"Oh," Was all he said for a while. The silence in the room, was loud in your ears. Thankfully Travis interrupted it, "I'll take you to your surgery."

Your eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"Well you just said you don't have anyone to take you."

"You'll have practice." You argued.

"Practice doesn't start for another week and a half."

"It's 3 weeks away."

"3 weeks?" You nodded. "Who's your doctor?"

"I don't know. I just met the guy, forgot his name." Travis got up and called someone on his phone, "What are you doing?" You asked, but he just held his finger up telling you to be quiet.

You rolled your eyes, while he walked into another room. You sat on the couch waiting patiently until he came back, finally after 10 minutes or so he was back.

"You have an appointment tomorrow, with my doctor. He's going to get some scans done and confirm what you already know, then he's going to fit you in for surgery within the week."

"I can't afford your doctor!" You said throwing my arms in the air, since you didn't really want to stand to argue with him.

"Don't worry about the cost." He said walking away from me. You pushed off the couch and followed him.

"Travis, I can't keep up slow down." You yelled trying to walk as quick as possible without causing my knee to buckle.

He was waiting at the front door, "Go home, Y/n"

"We aren't done talking about this. Cancel that appointment tomorrow." You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed out some air.

"Yes we are." He said, basically pushing you to your car. He opened the door for you and you climbed in. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 10." He said, before shutting your door and walking into his house.

#travis kelce imagine #travis kelce fic #travis kelce #travis kelce x reader #nfl fanfic #nfl imagine #nfl #super bowl #fanfic #imagine

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beomgyuslilracha · 6 months

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you don't go to parties ☆.* 6

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: just my usual awful writing and also the fact that i keep procrastinating so hard every time i get writer's block

⊹ wc: 4.7k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

truthfully speaking, you were foolish not to realize that everything was too good to be true. your day had been going far too well for something not to come along and ruin it — it was the unfortunate balance of life, after all.

while filming should have commenced approximately three minutes ago, the directors and staff were gradually beginning to panic when there was no sign of the next interviewee. seeing as though they were not any of your concern, you remained unbothered as you flashed a reassuring smile in kai's direction.

unfortunately, he only wished that he could return the same expression.

it wasn't that he was worried about the missing interviewee by any means, but it was more so that he had completely forgotten to warn you about who exactly they were about to interview..

considering he had been rather distracted after having gone out of his way to look for and warn you earlier, kai could only blame beomgyu for the unfortunate predicament that the two of you will inevitably be under.

although, seeing as he was running late anyway, kai wondered if he should just take the opportunity to pull you aside now and let you know before he had the chance to arrive.

but how could he?

a part of him wanted to be selfish and leave you to remain blissfully unaware so that you wouldn't leave his side. perhaps you might even seek him for comfort... was this so wrong?

"we found him! yeonjun's coming!" a staff member had suddenly announced to everyone upon entering the room, earning a sigh of relief from the surrounding crew.

meanwhile, kai cursed himself for keeping his mouth shut. having to watch as your cheerful smile dropped into a look of dread was enough to fill him with regret and shame for ever putting his feelings before your own.

and then yeonjun officially entered the room.

your eyes helplessly followed him as he rushed forward to stand on the small steps behind kai and wonyoung, a heavy feeling settling into the pit of your stomach like that of a ton of bricks.

it only made matters worse when you noticed his eyes scanning over everyone in the room, unfortunately meaning that he was bound to spot you in a matter of seconds.

your gaze quickly averted down to your nervously fidgeting fingers, feeling a wave of awkwardness settle over you at the thought of him recognizing you amongst the crew. you contemplated on escaping the room altogether, but you knew it would just wind up being all the more suspicious if you suddenly bolted out of the room.

not to mention that it would also be completely unprofessional and immature on your part.

besides, you knew that you couldn't do that to kai anyway.

you had promised him that you would stay by his side all day to support him, so you couldn't possibly run off simply for the sake of your own selfish reasons.

thus, you were left to fall under the burning gaze of yeonjun's eyes. even without looking, you could almost feel the exact moment when he spotted you.

despite your inner reluctance, you still couldn't help yourself from glancing back to meet his eyes across the room. even regardless of your previous reunion back at that stupid party, you somehow found yourself resenting the way his gaze still elicited your heart to flip inside your chest.

"starting in 10!"

the sudden voice of the director counting down the seconds is what finally managed to pull your eyes away, breaking the eye contact that you imagined had lasted for hours.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was feeling completely over the moon. sure, you two may have shared nothing more than a mere glance, but that was seemingly enough for him.

the fact you weren't glaring daggers at him felt like progress already.

then there was kai, who was feigning studying his notecards when, in reality, he was simply trying to avoid acknowledging yeonjun's presence at all. even though he wasn't entirely sure what it was that yeonjun had done to you, he still trusted his gut and absolutely despised everything that he knew about the guy so far.

once the director gave the signal for filming, kai's demeanor instantaneously perked up as his charismatic personality quickly took over in the blink of an eye.

"hueningkai here in the green room!" he announced cheerfully, his adorable smile almost infectious as even you couldn't help but to break into a smile from just watching him.

"and i'm wonyoung!" wonyoung followed after with her camera-perfect smile. "who are we meeting right now?"

"staying cooler than ever, it's choi yeonjun! shall we say hi?"

wonyoung and kai both stepped back from one another to properly reveal yeonjun in between them, cheerfully announcing his presence for everyone watching.

"hi everyone, i'm yeonjun," he spoke casually, lazily saluting the camera in a cool manner before taking a proper bow as wonyoung and kai clapped from beside him.

as you watched the interview progress, you mentally cursed yourself from being unable to prevent your eyes from constantly looking at the one person you'd rather not look at.

after the two of you had broken up, you swore to yourself that you would never see him again for as long as you lived.

you've seen how well that worked out ...

although, considering how long you were able to stick to your word, that meant that you never actually got to see him debut as an idol. sure, you remembered him mentioning it once or twice while you were dating, but you didn't take him seriously since he was usually drunk or hungover anyway.

in any case, you could feel a secret part of yourself growing a little curious - more curious than you'd like to admit - about what kind of music he's released..

as you watched him greet and thank his darling fans for their love and support, you surprisingly found yourself rather captivated by the persona he was showcasing for the camera. you wondered if any of his moawajjuni's knew what kind of person he really was or if they were all too smitten by the perfectly crafted smile plastered on his face.

funnily enough, not that you would ever realize it for yourself, this was actually the first time in his career where yeonjun wasn't purposely putting on an act for the sake of the show.

this would be due to the fact that he may or may not have made himself a little giddy over the thought of you being there to watch him. sure, he knew more than well that you weren't there for him originally, but he's managed to sneak enough glances your way to notice that you have been watching him and not the one you came for.

"thank you! now, i heard your new song 'lonely boy' has a special significance. tell us about the track," kai read off from the notecard, feigning intrigue as he looked towards yeonjun expectantly for his answer.

despite having fully expected this question, what yeonjun was not expecting was for the very person the song was written about to be present in the room when he practiced what he would say.

with a shy smile and a nervous chuckle, yeonjun couldn't help but to boldly glance in your direction and catch your eye before giving his answer.

an unfamiliar chill ran down your spine.

"yes, well .. this song is meant to portray the loneliness and resentment that one may experience after a break up," yeonjun began. "i wanted to use this song as a personal outlet to describe my own feelings left behind after my first love, so i allowed myself to be incredibly vulnerable for this track."

both kai and wonyoung simultaneously released an impressed 'woah' in response to yeonjun's answer - though only wonyoung's would be considered genuine.

unfortunately, you didn't get to hear the rest of the interview, seeing as you needed to escape that suffocating room now more than ever, before all the walls ended up closing in on you.

you couldn't be entirely sure if the room itself had been spinning or if it was all in your head.

all was fine and well until yeonjun uttered the words "first love" far too casually for your liking. and then to have the audacity to look in your direction?! he was certainly crazy... as were you.

after walking around aimlessly, you happened to find momentary solace on the bottom step of the music bank staircase. it only lasted for about fifteen seconds, though, before a familiar idol group had come to kindly ask if they could take a group picture in front of the stairs.

opting to head up the stairs to rest on the bottom step of the second level, you finally had the semi-privacy to pull out your phone and search up the very song that was eating away at your brain.

not that you cared about the song at all, of course not, you were merely just curious. right.. yeah, you didn't care about his supposed 'vulnerability' in the song or if it was secretly about you, no, no ,no. you were simply satisfying your curiosity about what kind of music he sang, that's all.

you continued to stare down at the play button, too embarrassingly afraid to make any move to actually press it.

regardless of how horribly you were trying to convince yourself that you didn't remotely care for the song, you knew far too well that you were scared that you would.

what could yeonjun have possibly written that would cause him to describe it as 'incredibly vulnerable'??

certainly he was smart enough not to be explicit with his details about your past relationship, so what could he really accomplish?

based on the title itself, you even angrily began to wonder if he somehow managed to twist your history around to paint himself as the victim.

the sound of approaching footsteps was what finally dragged you out of your feuding thoughts, though only for your jaw to involuntarily clench once the owner came into view.

"did you like the song?"

you rolled your eyes, subtly trying to lock your phone in hopes of hiding the fact that you had searched it up at all. it was a futile attempt, of course, but you couldn't care less. "i don't know, i didn't listen to it," you deadpanned.

yeonjun tilted his head, slightly confused, considering he was more than certain that he saw his album's logo on your phone just a second ago.

you stood up from the step, shoving your phone back into your pocket. with an annoyed sigh, you clarified, "i never pressed play. i decided i didn't want to hear it."

"you're not even the least bit curious to know how i've felt these past few years?"

"no, yeonjun, i'm not." a lie. "now, if you'll excuse me, i need to go find kai."

you probably made it about five steps before his hand had instinctively reached out to lightly grasp at your wrist and prevent you from walking away any further. even though you knew full well it would be smarter - and all too easy - to pull your arm away and keep walking, you couldn't help yourself from foolishly caving in to his touch.

how was it possible that even after everything, you were still weak to him??

meanwhile, yeonjun was having his own feuding thoughts as his eyes scanned back and forth between yours.

should he do it? should he finally take taehyun's advice?

here he had you in front of him again, allowing him the most perfectly golden opportunity to just come right out and apologize to you the way he should have done five years ago.

but would he take it?

well, he wouldn't exactly be choi yeonjun if he did now, would he?

"come on, just admit you want to hear my gorgeous voice singing to you." he smirked so confidently, yet all the while cursing at himself in his own head. sometimes even he wished he wouldn't open his stupid mouth sometimes.

you rolled your eyes once more, scoffing quietly in disbelief for expecting any different yet again. it was like you never learned to stop having expectations for someone as arrogant as him.

yet you continued to be disappointed every time.

although, despite attempting to walk away again, yeonjun managed to get over himself and stop you one more time.

"no, y/n, wait.." yeonjun visibly winced at the clear desperation in his voice to keep you with him, but he knew he needed to get over himself if he wanted to make any progress with you. "look, i just ... it would mean a lot to me if you listened to the song."

almost like a gust of wind, your hostility towards him diminished instantaneously. the gentle tone of his voice and the way his eyes avoided yours.. it was hard to believe that this was even the same yeonjun from just a moment before.

even from the light grasp he had on your wrist, yeonjun was surprisingly able to feel the tension relax from your body. from the moment he dropped his cocky exterior, he wondered if even just a sliver of your guard had dropped around him.

maybe, just maybe, this was how he could win your heart again..

yeonjun swallowed the lump that now resided in his throat, his gaze suddenly unwavering. he could hear taehyun's voice echoing in his head, "just fucking do it".

"y/n ... i'm s-"

"y/nie, there you are!"

startled by the sudden voice coming up behind you, your head whipped around to see kai making his way up the music bank steps towards you.

"it's almost time for me to announce this week's chart scores! you're coming, aren't you?"

although he appeared cheerful based on his voice and the bright smile adorning his lips, the look in his eyes only hardened as they glanced momentarily at the hand that was still wrapped delicately around your wrist.

of course, that wouldn't be a look you'd recognize at all. most especially since you were now more focused on the fact that you had almost forgotten your job entirely.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was glaring daggers down at the boy who had dared to interrupt his moment with you. just when he felt that he could ease his way into your life just a little bit more, that cursed homewrecker friend of yours had to come and ruin it.

"yes of course, i just-"

"y/n.."

you sighed rather heavily, reluctantly turning back around to be met with yeonjun's now pitiful gaze — a look you had never seen for as long as you had known him.

curse your weak heart for fluttering at such a moment like this.

"look, i'll listen to it later, but i need to get back to my job," you finally told him, gently pulling your arm completely from his grasp.

"will you tell me what you think?" yeonjun's voice was uncharacteristically soft as he spoke to you. whether it was to keep kai from overhearing your conversation or to purposely melt your heart even more, you could not be sure.

were it any other day, you were more than positive that you would have looked your arrogant ex-boyfriend in the eye and laughed directly in his face.

but for some reason, in this moment in time, you hesitated. despite knowing that the most reasonable option would be to deny his request and ensure that he remained out of your life the way he should have... you couldn't do it.

instead, you shrugged and responded with a weak, "we'll see."

sure, it may not have been a direct yes and it definitely gave you more than enough leeway to never contact him again, but it was enough hope for yeonjun to break into a genuine smile.

kai, on the other hand, decided now would be his best opportunity to take it upon himself and end the little moment before it could drag on any further.

"come on, y/nie, we'll get scolded if we're late!" he called to you in his innocent tone, stepping just close enough to cutely grab your hand and begin dragging you away.

without another word, you left with kai towards where he was needed on the main stage.

that was odd, wasn't it?

you kept replaying the interaction with yeonjun in your head and the only word you could think to describe it was .. odd.

it started off as normal as you would've expected – with him being his usual asshole self – but then you saw that different side of him right as you were attempting to leave. hell, even when you were dating, you never knew that there was any part of him that was capable of being remotely vulnerable.

"y/nie, you okay?"

kai's gentle voice only barely broke through your thoughts, allowing you to finally remember where you were.

"huh? oh.. yeah, i'm fine, don't worry."

based on that response, it didn't seem fine to him. clearly your mind was elsewhere, and it was all too evident to figure out where it was – or, rather, who it went to.

before the two of you could cross the threshold of the doors leading to the main stage, kai made a silent and sudden decision to abruptly stop and pull you off to the side.

seeing as you were rightfully confused, you questioned him, "kai, what're you-"

"when are you going to tell me what happened between you and yeonjun?"

your jaw gaped slightly, stunned by the sudden question that you hadn't expected in the slightest. you were blinking in surprise, looking around the hall to ensure no one else was around.

"oh, kai... i don't think this is the time or place to have this conversation."

normally, kai would agree with you. he'd be his usual, patient self and quickly move on if you weren't comfortable with opening up to him. this time, though, he's admittedly had quite enough of this yeonjun character being around you lately.

sure, it's only been twice now, but it was enough for him to strongly dislike it.

seeing as it was very uncharacteristic of your little huening to be without a smile, you were beginning to feel the seriousness of the situation.

with a small sigh, you finally nodded. you figured it wouldn't hurt to be honest with your best friend, but you still chose to remain vague about the more specific details for now.

"yeonjun is my ... ex."

cue kai's heart plummeting directly into his stomach.

you dated him?! how long ago? was it serious? how long was the relationship? did you love him? why did you break up?

"it was years ago, honestly," you spoke up before kai could even get out one of the many questions that were swirling around in his mind. "it was when we were still in college. it was just ... it wasn't a good break up, i guess. so now every time i see him, it's-"

"uncomfortable?" kai suggested, tilting his head ever so curiously - and, admittedly, a little hopeful.

you considered the word, slowly nodding as a way of agreement. "well, yes, that too." you still hesitated, struggling to think of a more fitting word for how it felt to be near him. "awkward... maybe?" you decided, still feeling unsure.

though, no other word would come to mind that felt as close to the situation.

and it was true, at least.

perhaps it wasn't that you were necessarily uncomfortable with yeonjun, it was purely just awkward to be around him after everything the two of you had been through together.

the years of growing together to know one another both inside and out. the moments of intimacy shared between you two that will forever be ingrained into your mind and body. to think that for years of your life, he had been your other half and then suddenly ... you were as close as strangers.

the only word you could imagine being appropriate enough to describe it was ... awkward.

"why did you guys break up?" kai dared to ask, his voice soft so as to tread lightly on the topic.

you squeezed your lips together, avoiding meeting his eyes as you thought back to the not-so-fond memory.

a memory you didn't exactly feel like reliving in the hallways of music bank.

"look, can we please get back to the reason why we're here before we both get in trouble?"

before kai could be given even a brief moment to push the question any further, it was your turn to take his hand and drag him to the main stage – where everyone had been desperately waiting for him in order to get started with filming.

even beomgyu appeared to be glaring in both of your directions, as if to telepathically scold you both for leaving him to be nervous all by himself.

"don't forget she's my manager too, huening!" beomgyu whined as you both approached him, his lips pouting adorably as he did.

you couldn't fight the amused smile that adorned your lips, realizing it had to be beomgyu's nerves getting after the two of you more than anything. seeing as he had been standing by the curtain leading towards the center stage, it was more than clear that he was getting worked up after having spotted the full crowd awaiting the k-chart scores.

you rushed up to the pouting boy, engulfing him instantaneously in a tight hug. "oh, calm down, i'm here now, okay? i wouldn't miss your big win for the world!"

although he still wasn't at 100%, it still helped greatly for beomgyu to know that you would be there to support him wholeheartedly. he returned the hug with no hesitation, tightening the embrace almost desperately before the crew signaled for both him and kai to officially enter onto the main stage.

even though your conversation with him was still fresh at the back of his mind, kai managed to push it all aside for the time being to focus on the job at hand. he stood now beside wonyoung, a bright smile on his face for the camera, pretending for the viewers that he wasn't remotely bothered at the thought of his best friend being anywhere close to that fox-eyed jerk.

and as you watched anxiously as the numbers calculated themselves on the big screen, no other thought was important to you anymore.

you didn't care about the song from before. you didn't care about your ex-boyfriend's sudden personality change. you didn't even care that you were standing almost in sight of the cameras - though a staff member did have to pull you a couple steps back eventually.

no, all you cared about was watching hueningkai happily announce beomgyu's name as he was announced number one for the week.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

to no one's surprise - or, at least, certainly not to yours - beomgyu won by a landslide.

as he deeply expressed his gratitude and appreciation to his beloved bamtoris, kai and wonyoung waved their goodbyes and exited the stage to allow beomgyu his moment to perform his title track.

"as proud as i am of beomgyu, don't think for a second that i'm not just as proud of you!"

kai blinked in surprise, a bright pink hue kissing color into his cheeks as he processed your sudden words of praise. though, he was more caught off-guard by his heart practically somersaulting in his chest as a reaction.

certainly he never reacted that way before?

"..me? why?"

"because you were a wonderful mc today, kai!" you praised him yet again, bounding over with a bright smile and embracing your best friend around the waist. "i can't believe you don't get invited more often! you truly have such a natural charisma."

if it were at all possible, kai seriously could have stood there for hours in hopes that you would compliment him over and over again. though, at the same time, he didn't think his heart could handle the overwhelming feeling for too long.

luckily for kai's weak heart, beomgyu's performance eventually ended and he met up with the two of you immediately upon exiting the stage.

in the midst of his excitement, he wrapped his arms around both yours and kai's shoulders to bring you in for a group hug. it was truly a precious moment, causing your heart to swell with an overwhelmingly joyous emotion.

although it wasn't your usual forte, you refused to waste such a perfect opportunity to take out your phone and savor the moment with a group selca. just you and your two favorite boys.

"alright, alright, we're very proud of both of you as well, but we can't stay here forever," a personal staff member of your company chuckled upon approaching the three of you. "let's get you boys to the dressing rooms."

"ah, that's right, i need to take this mic pack off," kai realized, turning back to congratulate beomgyu once more before promising to meet up with the two of you shortly after.

although a small part of him was a little reluctant on leaving you by yourself, in fear that yeonjun would somehow approach you again and risk making you uncomfortable at all, kai decided that you should be fine as long as you're with beomgyu.

and so he was ushered off to his dressing room, where it was all too difficult for kai not to take notice of the strange presence that awaited him on his chair.

a bright orange fox plush that certainly wasn't there when he was here earlier.

as the staff were moving all around him, lifting his shirt to unstrap the mic, a small smile graced his lips as he pondered over who may have left such a cute gift for him to find.

of course, there was only one person he could think of that would do such a thing — as well as only one person he hoped it would be from.

the moment he was left alone, he walked over and grabbed the precious plush in his hand, only for his smile to drop almost instantaneously upon flipping over the notecard that was attached to the ear.

please call me (xxx)xxx-xxxx yj

unfortunately, kai was more than certain that he could piece together who the message was from and who it was meant for, and it certainly wasn't for himself. ensuring to keep the note itself intact, kai popped off the string that was connecting the notecard to the ear in order to examine it closer.

with the notecard still in his hand, kai's head shot up in the slightest bit of shock at the sound of the dressing room door opening shortly afterward. although he was half expecting for yeonjun himself to show up and confront him, kai was, luckily, able to relax upon seeing your bright smile greeting him from the doorway.

"hey, you all done? beomgyu and i are-" a sudden gasp escaped your lips as you glanced down at the plush that kai held in his hands. "oh, cute! did somebody leave that as a gift for you?"

"no, actually," kai suddenly found himself answering honestly. "it's supposed to be for you."

much to his dismay, he couldn't miss the bright sparkle in your eyes upon hearing his words. of course you'd be excited at the thought of receiving such an adorable gift .. but would you feel the same if you knew who it was from?

"awww!" you cooed excitedly, entering the room further and holding a hand above your heart in sincerity. "that's so sweet, kai ... you got a plush for me?"

hesitating ... why is he hesitating?

kai glanced down at the plush, blinking in uncertainty as he read over the card that was still held in his other hand. he swallowed the lump that now resided in his throat, quickly looking up to meet your eyes again as he now flashed an innocent smile in your direction.

"of course i did. i told you i'd get you something, remember?"

he outstretched his hand to you in order to properly give you the fox plush as a gift, his other hand slyly sliding the note into his back pocket away from your view.

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

can i promise that i won't disappear for a long time again? no .. not at all. BUT i can promise that i will not be giving up on this story. i may be an awful procrastinator, but i'll be damned if i let this story rot away in my drafts.

thank you for waiting anyway, i truly appreciate everyone who is still here even after i've showcased myself to be an awful writer and even worse updater. pretty sure i've lost sight of where this was originally headed, but .. oh well. let's see where it goes from here.

also i'm 97% sure this taglist is hardly active anymore, so uhhh .. i'll probably be stalking you guys for inactivity to remove later. sorry :( <;3

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @rizzshimura @junzwrld @reigyki @goldennika @chaconnelatte @faeryhee @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @whippedforbeomgyu @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe @catsyoon @wereonfire @heartattackreader @myjaeyunn

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @softcabur @marekmybeloved @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

#tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together imagine #txt #txt imagine #txt imagines #txt x reader #choi yeonjun #choi yeonjun x reader #yeonjun #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun imagines #choi yeonjun imagines #yeonjun fanfic

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arlh0e · 5 months

Text

Almost (sweet music)

Part: 1/? “All Things End”

Summary: You’d lived in Ireland for just over a year, having moved for work, and you had managed to find a group of people who you could call friends, and one in particular who was more than that. You and Andrew had been practically attached at the hip for almost 6 months now. You loved everything about him, his music and his way with words just added to that love you have for him. But you know he wont be home forever, with his new album, he’s Leaving for tour.

Rating: Very mature at times (No smut in this part)

Warnings: not proof-read and I kept trying to switch point of views in the middle of this shit cause I’m an idiot, so if you see that, ignore it lmao, Hozier X Fem! Reader, No smut, fluff, Established relationship, no use of Y/n (I still think that shit is annoying), ANGST, I’m serious, this shit starts off bad and just gets worse, read at your own risk, I’m boutta make you sad as fuck

Word count: Idk I’ll check later, and if I forget, my bad I guess.

I had been staying with Andrew for a few days, I was fully aware that he had to leave soon and that he would be gone for months. The tour in its whole would last over a year, and he wouldn’t’ be back for an extended period of time until December. This was something that the two of us had discussed at length, and though I dreaded the fact that he would be gone, I had Tod him everything would be okay without him here. I knew that the second he left you would be an inconsolable mess.

He was scheduled to leave in the morning, and although we had both made the decision to stay together in the days leading up to the departure, tonight seemed a bit off. I had been watching a movie on the couch for a while, while Andrew made the two of us dinner. He was making pasta, homemade pesto sauce with tortellini noodles (If you don’t like pesto sauce, sorry it’s my favorite 🤷‍♀️) He usually listened to music while he was cooking, sometimes he even danced and sang while he was in the kitchen, but tonight, nothing. He was just standing over the stove, making dinner without a sound.

I didn’t want to say anything about it, just because if he was upset about leaving in the morning, I didn’t want to make it worse for the both of us. Tomorrow morning would be hard enough, why ruin the last night we have together?

I don’t have to wait very long for him to bring two plates of food to the couch and he hands me one. The bottle of wine and glasses that he also brings in with the food does take me a bit by surprise. Although, it wasn’t completely uncommon of him to open a bottle of wine for the two of us to drink with dinner, however, that was usually reserved for a very very happy Andrew, which I knew he wasn’t. It almost seemed as if he was trying to drink in attempt to not have to think about the inevitability of his flight tomorrow.

I knew that he was excited to be touring again, and I was so proud of him and the album which I had watched him work so hard on for almost a year, even before we were together, I could tell that his Music was the single most important thing in his life.

“What are you thinking about?” I nudge him with my elbow while taking a bite of my food, smiling slightly as he turns to me. His stare is almost entirely blank, also unusual for him, he was almost always smiling, but now it seemed as if he was completely devoid of any emotion.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t wanna leave you here. It’s not fair.” He was so tense, and I didn’t want to pry, but I knew that there was something else going on.

“It’s really okay. You’ll be back in December, it’s not that far out. Plus we can call every night and in the grand scheme of things, a year isn’t that long.” I shrug and lean your head onto his shoulder before continuing. “Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to you for me to ask you to stay. I want you to be happy, and your music makes you happy.” I smile up at him a bit.

The smile he offers in return is so sad. I hate seeing him like this. Everything about the absence of his nearly ever present smile and the sudden serious tone of his entire demeanor was off-putting. Something was wrong. Really, really wrong.

“I mean it’s not fair to you.” He sighs and moves himself away from me, causing my head to fall a little before I regain my stability and face him. “I’m not gonna make you sit here and wait around for me to get back. You deserve more than a relationship that happens over a fucking phone.” He’s running his hands over his face, I can tell he’s trying really hard to maintain the look and the idea that he was numb and didn’t feel any of this.

“Andrew, I don’t care. I’ll be okay, You’ll be back and everything will be fine once you’re home, and I mean, who knows what the situation will be next tour, we’ll figure it out.” I move to take his hand, but he pulls away from me.

“No. I will not put you through that. It’s not up for discussion.” His words are harsh and absolute. I’ve never seen him act this way, even in arguments, he never just stopped listening and refused to give me a chance to voice my opinion.

“What’s wrong with you? Like you get to decide what my feelings are for me? No. That’s bull shit Andrew.” I raise my voice at him a bit, knowing where this is going and knowing that he realistically wont be swayed, I still try. Even if it wont work, I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if I didn’t try everything first. “I want to be with you, you do realize that leaving forever is gonna hurt worse than you not being physically here for a few months right?”

“I never said it would be forever I just,” He stops for a moment to breathe, gathering his thoughts with his head in his hands. “I’ve done this before, okay? I know how this goes, you’ll be all for it at the beginning, and by the time I come back for a bit, you’ll be planning a break up speech because you cant handle it. I don’t want to waste your time that way.” He sits up again and turns to look back at me, taking one of my hands in both of his. “I’m not saying that it’s forever. I’m saying that I don’t want you here just waiting for me to get back. I want you to be able to be happy and not have to live your life through a computer screen because you want us to be together without actually being together. If I get back and this is still what you want then I will be more than happy to pick back up right where we left off. I swear. I just don’t want to destroy what we have in the process of trying to keep it safe.”

At this point, I’m crying. I don’t fully understand the point of this. As far as I’m concerned, people who love each other should be together and circumstance shouldn’t change that. If we were truly made for one another, then him being going wouldn’t change anything. “If that’s really what you want, fine. I don’t understand the point because I’m just gonna be waiting either way, but fine. Do whatever you want.” I honestly cant even rationalize my anger with him. I can’t think of any reason why he would do this. I can’t bring yourself to actually believe him.

I don’t even think as I get up from the couch and pull my arm away from him to grab my stuff to leave. “Wait, I thought you were staying the night.” I can barely hear his voice from behind me, for the first time tonight, I hear his voice break.

“Yeah, I was, and then you broke up with me.” I don’t even turn around. “Normal people don’t have sleepovers with their exes Andrew.”

“It’s not-“ His voice cracks again. “Baby, it’s not like that I just-“

“You just don’t wanna be with me right now and it just so happens to be while you’re going to be on tour. And what’s worse is that you’re trying to make me feel like this is about you caring for me.” I laugh and shake my head. “and to think, I actually sat here and thought that this was gonna be it for me. That you were gonna be it for me. God.” I’ve. walked out of his house by this point, with my house being just across the street, I do my best to walk away from him, a feat which isn’t easy given his long legs and how quickly he’s trailing behind me.

“You really think so little of me that I would break up with you for something like that? So that I could, what? Sleep with fans on the bus after shows? Christ, why would I do that? If it were up to me, I’d bring you with me. Hell, if it were up to me, I’d Marry you right now and we’d never be apart again, but it’s not fucking up to me.” I can tell at this point without even looking back that he’s crying. I don’t know what to believe.

Finally, I turn around and stop. I take in one shaky breath with my eyes closed before opening them on the exhale. “I need you to go home. I need time to process all of this, and I need to be away from you to do so.” Looking up at him and seeing the way his tears fell freely from the beautiful green eyes which I had grown to love with every fiber of my being, I almost give in and stay. I almost find it in me to sit down and talk with him about how to make this work with a compromise. “I’ll see you tomorrow. At the airport, okay?” I reach up and wipe the tears from his face and then turn and keep walking.

***

The next morning is hell.

I have to drag myself out of bed, and the events of last night just make me feel even more like curling up under the covers and sobbing is the right move for this morning.

I really just couldn’t bring myself. to believe that he was doing this because he thought it would benefit me.

Even after I ha specifically told him that all I wanted was to stay together and to be with him. He was the best thing about me. I breathed differently when we were together, I was more myself around him than I was alone. Something about the fact that he didn’t want me anymore was terrifying.

When I finally muster enough courage to get out of bed, I had 10 minutes before I had to leave to see Andrew and the band off. I wouldn’t have had the energy to get dressed up anyways, so having woken up late just gave me an excuse to wear sweats and a hoodie and look how I felt.

I had already promised to give everyone a ride to the airport, and of course, with him living down the street, I had to pick up Andrew first.

I didn’t want to be alone with him. The thought actually made me feel physically ill, I really had no clue how I would be able to even look at him without crying. I wondered for a moment if he had talked to the band about his decision. Did they all know before I did? I doubted that Mia would have known and not knocked some sense into him, and Alex likely would have done the same. They probably knew by now, but the idea that they had known before he did it was far fetched at best.

When I reach his driveway, I text him a quick ‘Hey, I’m here’ and wait for a second before I see him leave his house, locking the door behind him and carrying his bags to the trunk of my car. He walks back around and sits in the passenger seat.

“Hey.” He’s so quiet I can barely hear him, and looking over at him now from a closer distance, he looks like he’s literally been crying all night. His eyes are glassy, he’s likely not had any sleep, the bags under his eyes are exceptionally puffy and red. His voice is unstable, even though he had only said the one word, I could tell that his voice was raw.

“Hey.” I want to say more. I want to apologize for leaving things the way I did last night. I want to talk to him about why I think that this is a bad idea and that all that’s going to happen is that we’ll both be miserable until he gets back, and then we’ll be even more miserable when he gets here because there’s no getting back together after a year of little to no contact. It just wont happen.

The silence in the car is deafening. Even with the music playing, a playlist that we had composed together, a list of our favorite songs, and neither of us dared to even sing along. The air was so thick with tension, I swear I could see it hanging there in between us. Nothing about this seemed right.

Part of me wanted to hate him for this. I wanted to be angry and never speak to him again because of this whole situation he had created for us and another part of me wanted to beg him to just give me a chance to prove him wrong about this.

The most heartbreaking thing about his actions was that Andrew was truly the first person I had ever been with who felt like him. He was the first person I’d dated who made my life make more sense with him in. It. We weren’t meant to be apart. And he knew that just as well as I did and yet here we are.

“I am sorry about all of this.” He’s still so quiet.

“I just don’t understand why you refuse you give me any say in it. Or at least try to have faith in the fact that I love you and i want to be with you regardless.” My hands tighten around the wheel and my eyes narrow, glaring at the road ahead of me, as if it were the one to blame for this mess.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that you love me, I just don’t want to risk you falling out of love because I’m not here and I’m always too busy to talk to you.” His hands are in his hands again, his palms pressed firmly over his eyes and his fingers drawing smoothing circles in his hair. “I’m all too aware of. How much I’m hurting both of us in this, but I don’t want to lose you completely. Even if that means we need to bust friends for a while.”

I sigh and continue my death glare out the windshield. “Fine, but for the record, I still think this is bull shit.”

We make our way to pick everyone else up, I silently thank whatever god is out there when Alex gets in the car and seems to either not know or not care about Andrews and my current arrangement, he just skips to making conversation with him from the backseat. I start to think he hasn’t told anyone when we pick up Mia and she also says nothing about it, so I opt to just not say anything and laugh when appropriate, but otherwise stay out of the conversation the three of them are engrossed in.

When we get to the airport is the moment when everything kicks in for me. I help with everyone’s bags as they get everything checked, just barely holding myself together, but when I realize that it’s time for them to make their way to security and I have to go, I lose it.

My body moves of its own volition, before I know it, I’m sobbing into Andrew’s chest with my arms around him. He doesn’t seem shocked, or even slightly taken aback, Without any kind of hesitation, I feel his arms around me and his head leaning down against mine with one hand soothing my hair.

“For she, my pride, my lovely one, is lost, and I am left, in hopeless anguish tossed.” His voice is just barely above a whisper, just loud enough for the two of us to hear. The particular poem he’s quoting, he knows is one of my favorites, Herbert Giles’s ‘Gone’, one that I introduced to him before we started dating, one that I never thought I would hear him say in the context of this situation and with the weight that it bears in this moment.

And yet, somehow it’s almost comforting to know that of all of the poetry he’s read about love lost and the grief that comes with it, that this is what comes to mind. I melt then and there.

“I promise, when I get back, we will get right back to being so in love that the gods are jealous of our devotion to each other. I swear.” He kisses the top of my head through my hair and pulls away from me to look at my tear stained face. “So long as you’ll have me, I swear I will make this up to you when I come home. I’ll beg on my knees for forgiveness if need be.”

I wipe some of my stray tears away from my face and roll my eyes. “ You have a lot of groveling in your future, rest assured.” We both laugh a little bit.

He leans down and softly, but over so quickly plants a kiss on my lips. It’s fleeting, and barely there, but followed with an “I love you.”

“Always.”

And with that, I let him go and he walks away, without a single turn backward.

Okay, listen.Be mad if you want, but trust the process, a series wouldn’t be interesting without conflict, and I created that shit from the get go. I swear to god, this isn’t gonna be one of those 90% miscommunication trope things, no. It’s an “I love you but I can’t have you, but I cant help myself” kinda thing, We’ll get there. It’s gonna be fun. Lmk if you wanna be on the tag list, cause I have no idea when the next update will be.

Also, props to @itsjustmarwa for the idea, you’re a real one.

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