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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Article by Amelia A. J. Foy

Happy Bisexual Visibility Day! On this day, we celebrate ourselves as bisexual people in a world that often overlooks our community in both a heteronormative sense and as a part queer culture. Despite the B in LGBTQ+ standing for bisexual and our long history in the fight for queer liberation, we are often left out of narratives surrounding LGBTQ+ issues and experiences. For example, you’ve probably never seen a coming-of-age story where the character is discovering their bisexual identity in the same way you have movies like Love, Simon or the plethora of other straight films about young romance. This is because bisexuality is often framed as being both gay and straight; however, the issues our community faces are unique to bisexual+ people (those who are multi-gender attracted) and, whilst I definitely saw myself in Love, Simon and cried my eyes out, it did not wholly encapsulate my experience.

Seeing actual bisexual representation in the media now warms my heart, but it is few and far between: actually getting it right is even rarer. Sure, Glee had a bisexual character when I grew up watching it, but her ex-girlfriend then gets with a lesbian and says, “now I don’t have to worry about my girlfriend straying for penis”, so it didn’t really do much for me. Especially as a young, confused teenager.

This is why we need visibility. Now, visibility is not the be-all-end-all of our liberation or acceptance into culture. Visibility can often come at the price of facing more danger and being hypervigilant, and places the onus of acceptance on marginalised people not “putting themselves out there” more. Many bisexual people also aren’t visible for many reasons, one of which being for their own safety, and another being that we are often read as either gay or straight based on our partnering at the time. It erases a massive part of our experience.

However, this is why visibility is particularly important to the bisexual community. Bi-erasure and invisibility is linked to the rates of poor mental health within our community specifically, because it is a unique challenge we face. Then, if we come out, we face exclusion from queer and heterosexual spaces alike, and social exclusion is also correlated with worse mental health. In fact, bisexual people face higher levels of anxiety, depression and suicidality than not just heterosexual people, but lesbian and gay people, too. We also encounter higher rates of sexual assault/harassment, which is particularly problematic considering many of our stereotypes centre on our “greediness” and “promiscuity”. Yet, despite a plethora of research showing us to be the most vulnerable sexual minority community, our issues are neglected, belittled and written off. Most people don’t even know how much we are suffering.

Growing up bisexual was a big confusing mess as a result. I came out seven years ago, aged 14, to the immediate reaction of “it’s a phase” from my family, meaning that I had to navigate this self-discovery on my own, quietly. Throughout the next few years, I encountered a slew of biphobic remarks and experiences:

“I turned you bisexual.” Ah, yes, I couldn’t have liked girls for ages and repressed it due to compulsory heterosexuality. That would be ridiculous. It must be your godlike attraction.

“I wouldn’t marry a bisexual because what if they wake up and want a man?” I was definitely about to propose to you in the middle of history class, so thanks for letting me down gently.

“But you’ve never dated girls before.” My nerdy ass hadn’t dated anyone before. Thinking back on this one, how weird is it to demand a 14- or 15-year-old to have a dating history to idenitify as bisexual?

“You’re too young to know.” Cool, but all the straight kids know they’re heterosexual from the jump, right?

Being in a queer toxic relationship and having no idea where to go because there were no resources for LGBTQ+ students and I had no adult support network because I was bisexual in a queer relationship… Can I get a yikes?

“Is the correct term bisexual or desperate?” Men get so mad when you’re bisexual and not into them, don’t they?

“Bisexuals are just confused.” Yes! We are! Coming out as a sexuality that is severely underrepresented and misrepresented, even in LGBTQ+ spaces, and being told by these same spaces all the ways in which you don’t belong, really sucks! It makes you doubt yourself! I was confused, and I couldn’t express it out of fear of validating this stereotype!

“I don’t think you’re really bisexual.” Well, we’ve been lipsing for months so that sounds more like a you problem to me.

“Want a threesome?” If I wanted disappointing sex I’m sure I could find it somewhere else, thanks.

Right at the start, these kind of things sent me way down into existential crisis and had me questioning my identity. I was alone, scared and confused. I felt an overwhelming pressure to just know my identity and an overwhelming pressure to fit in, and I had no resources to help me.

Bisexual teens are less likely to have access to safe spaces and supportive adults than lesbian or gay people, and that was definitely my experience. If I had just one adult to talk to at school - a counsellor or someone who ran an LGBTQ+ club, anyone - I could have avoided a lot of toxic situations and had more confidence in who I was.

Now that I have a social support network and I’m an out and proud adult, it doesn’t bother me too much. But I know how badly these kind of things can impact you, especially as a young person, and so does the research. If you are a young bisexual person, please know that you are not wrong, not indecisive, not greedy and you do not deserve any level of abuse or belittlement. I support you and there are places and spaces that will support you, too. Here’s a few online places (sorry for the UK focus!):

Bi.org

biresource.org

londonbipandas

Bicommunitynews.co.uk - particularly this page to find local bi+ meet-ups and events in the UK & Ireland

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iamafxsh · 3 years

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week 1 - w/c jan 25th

january 25th 2021

Rimmer being queer - gay in most headcanons I've seen - well, I don't know but I see it. He over compensates, the way he objectified women is gross no doubt but it reads like he's heard other people say it and he's parroting back because that's what straight men do. Whenever he talks about failed relationships, it's always "the women I asked out" or "the women I could've dated," which yeah, reads straight, but when thinking about that performative heteronormative masculinity, it's like he's pushing the idea that's its only women he's interested in - it reads like internalised homophobia, and he's trying to convince himself he's straight/not queer.

The "dirty deadies" from the book, paralleling that with anti-LGBTQ+, it's just so clear. He's grown up in a household that's conservative, that's clear to see, that's anti-dead and most likely anti-LGBTQ+ from what we know - Rimmer still associating women with being weaker and needing controlling, it's probably something he learnt from his family dynamic - and so him now being one of the "dirty deadies," well, the parallel is clear I don't need to explain further.

Rimmer is one of those characters that is a prick, but you see why he is the way he is, and you just feel sorry for him. You want him to be better, but of course we laugh at his neurotic behaviour because we also love that about him - if he was like Ace all the time, we'd get sick of it. We love him and want him to be better despite knowing it'll never really happy.

His childhood was terrible. He was never loved, never felt valued, probably had/has a learning or developmental disability (in my opinion that is) that never went treated/diagnosed/never got help for. He wants to be loved and respected but he doesn't know how to get that without fitting into his father's mould, despite that mold never really working - we see how Howard is actually just like Arnold, but that's a whole can of worms on its own.

All of this is terrible, and maybe, in a different universe/dimension, he couldn't been so different, but this is our Rimmer, and a Rimmer we love.

He just reads gay to me. You may say I’m reading too much into it - and I won’t necessarily debate that - but there’s still something there. I don’t think about the other Dwarfers in the same way - though I do also headcanon Lister to be bi but that’s, again, a whole other can of worms. I don’t read every character I see as gay - not that there is anything wrong with that, in this heteronormative world and media - but I do read Rimmer as gay.

He is a sad, repressed gay who’s never had the chance to really realise he’s gay because it’s never been safe for him. It makes me happy to think that Lister can be that safe space for him; sure, they always tease each other, but they’ve learnt the lines over the years, and when not to cross them, and I feel that if Rimmer were to try and talk about this to Lister, as soon as Lister realised this wasn’t some sort of joke or prank, he would definitely be there for Rimmer.

#red dwarf #lister #rimmer

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accidentallyadramablog · 3 years

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Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

#down with love #twdrama #drama critical #ella chen #jerry yan #kelly huang #yang guo #xiang yu ping #yang duo

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robotslenderman · 3 years

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Ewww getting big privileged homophobe vibes from you. Blocking now.

Thank God.

I doubt you'll ever read this, but just in case hate-reading is your thing - I don't know why you bothered with anon. You're obviously not a follower because I talk about how queer I am here ALL THE TIME. I saw many queerphobes on that queer post, and even visited a few of their blogs. (Most of them were TERFs, except one - you, who claimed to be a trans dude. Maybe you are! Maybe you're not a TERF posing as a trans dude and you really are okay with being part of a movement absolutely dominated by TERFs!)

But there was only one that I left a comment on. You'd posted about how queer people are so horrible to call ourselves queer. Like the anthropomorphic personification of class and tact that I am, I trolled you by asking if my queer presence made you uncomfortable.

Clearly, it did. :)

So go ahead. Call me the first mean name that comes to your head, as if it bothered me what a random totally-not-anon thinks I am. I'm totally fine with queerphobes thinking my existence is homophobic, because the only way they'd understand otherwise is if I pretended I wasn't queer. My alleged homophobia is latched on to my identity as a queer person. The only way you would not accuse me of being homophobic is if I stopped calling myself queer.

So you use my very identity as a weapon against me. I am queer, and I am attached to not being a homophobe. You know that queer people do not want to be perceived as something they hate completely by anyone, strangers included, especially on a website where people harass first and listen later (if at all). So you hold us hostage - deny our queerness, and you'll drop your weapon. You'll drop the word "homophobic" and stop pointing it at me.

I'm not gonna cave to this.

Nor am I going to write an outraged essay about how I'm not homophobic. You know perfectly fucking well that not a SINGLE queer person is straight. You know perfectly fucking well that most queer people are same sex attracted or attracted to enbies. You know perfectly fucking well that queer people have accepted that part of us and aren't dealing with internalised homophobia or inflicting it on other people because we ACKNOWLEDGE our queerness and you can see this, otherwise you wouldn't be getting mad about it. In a homophobic society everyone has a degree of it, but by being what we are we have less of it than the great majority.

You know this perfectly well. Don't fucking pretend otherwise, I would have to believe that you are well and truly and sincerely STUPID to think for one second that you think I'm a straight person or a closeted gay person who's lashing out with malicious homophobia. Real homophobia, not "this person is part of a minority I am bigoted against, so I will claim they are inherently homophobic unless they get back in the closet or categorise themself in a way that allows me to fine tune my bigotry appropriately."

Because let's be real. Queer hasn't been used as a slur in decades and was reclaimed before I was even born. "Gay" was the slur of the time when I was growing up, but people like you never had a problem with that. Why? Because gay is clear cut and well defined. The problem people like you have with queers like me - the REAL problem, not the faux outraged you have made up about my label - is that queer means I have declined your insistence to more accurately categorise myself.

I mean, how else would you know specifically how to treat me? I could be bi and you might hate bi people, but if I'm a gay queer you don't want to aim the wrong type of bigotry at me by mistake - not because you care about gay people (you don't, because many gay people are also queer), but because you don't want to make yourself look silly by aiming the wrong type of bigotry at me. I could be queer because I'm an enby, and maybe you're truescum that would despise me for it, but you don't KNOW whether or not I'm an enby and that drives you mad! You don't want to risk alienating people who care about you by shitting on someone they might not agree is an acceptable target, so you target every queer and claim it's about a word when really, many queer people seek refugee under that term to hide from people like you, and you don't like that we can hide from you, so you try to strip our shelter away from us.

(And let's be honest. You probably don't even actually hate us. You're probably just afraid. Afraid of some identity you don't really understand because you've never taken the time to get to know us, or afraid that society will accept you less if we're "competing" for acceptance and so take some of the spotlight... I won't shit on you for fear, anon. We are all afraid of something. But I absolutely have a problem with how you're choosing to knowingly hurt people to cope with it. You called me "homophobe" to hurt me. There was no other way to possibly interpret the context of what you were saying. You meant to do this.)

So take away queer. Take away the shelter of queer. Force every queer person to divulge, upfront, who they are that makes them friends with queer. Force them out of the closet and pretend THAT'S not homophobic.

Send the gay queers back to the L and G of LGBT, let the TERFs flush out the trans people who are queer because they're trans* and shoo them away from LGBTQ spaces. Or maybe you really are trans, but you want to kick out straight trans people, or enbies, or pan people, or bi people, or ace people, or, one of the many populations that make up the true queer community.

* Not all trans people are queer, but many are BECAUSE they're trans. I would say "many are queer because they identify as queer" because that makes it sound like queerness isn't an inherent part of who we are and gives people like you ammo I have no interest in supplying you with. "Aha! So you CHOOSE to be a slur!" I just know you'd completely ignore everything I said to the contrary and say that.

Yes. The true queer community.

We've told you again and again that we're not calling you queer. We've told you again and again, if you're not queer, you're not part of the queer community. You're LGBT+, not queer. I'm not part of the LGBT+ community, I'm part of the queer community.

The queer community is not the true community of people who aren't straight and cis, that's not what I'm saying. We're not any more or less LGBT+ than you. I'm not invalidating the identities of people who aren't straight and/or cis, because they are who they are, and you don't need to be queer to be LGBT+. But we are the true queer community in that we are queer, and people who are LGBT+ but are not queer are not queer. Only queer people are queer.

("But people use queer community as an umbrella term to mean people who aren't queer, but are still LGBT+!" Buddy, if I have to deal with being called LGBT all the time even though it's not true, while having the people who use LGBT obviously mean me too because I'm not straight, then you can live with it too. That's mostly straights doing that, in which case you have no reason to get mad at US, or people who are are making something for a straight audience or a questioning audience, in which case they're making it accessible because not everyone knows the nuance of queer and LGBTALPHABETSOUP discourse. Or even - and I know this thought is incomprehensible to you, as the centre of the universe - it's actually referring to queer people and queer people only, not LGBT+ who aren't queer. Actually, I love that idea! Queer history is now history of queer people, no non-queer LGBT+ allowed :D)

I've never felt LGBT+ even when I thought I was one of the main four letters. But I've always felt queer, even as my understanding of my specific brand of queerness changed. Queer is an umbrella term that is opt in, that covers any and all LGBT+ people who know they are queer too, who know they're one of us, or who simply choose to call themselves queer for whatever fucking reason they want. Some of us are intrinsically queer, some choose to be queer because of the inclusiveness or relative opacity of the term, and you don't know which one a queer person is unless you have earned our trust enough for us to tell you.

And people like you fucking hate that.

So you know what?

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because the people who actually know more about me than the few sentences I've given you know that that's a joke, and their good opinion matters more to me than yours.

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because because it means I've won. I've gotten under your skin, just as your bigotry got right under mine. You're furious you can't categorise me. You're pissed off that I could be one of the LGBT+ people you actively dislike and want out of the LGBT+ community, but are finding a hell of a lot harder to flush out of the queer community because we all look the same at first glance and refuse to give you information you feel entitled to. Because it's easy to force people out of the closet in the LGBT+ community, but much fucking harder in a meritocracy like the queer community. To get into the LGBT+ community, you have to tell them which one you are. Queer? No questions asked, cause you already told us all we needed to know! Welcome home!

But let's say this is all a strawman.

That you really are some well meaning person who has nothing against the more obscure queer identities and that you really do just have a problem with the word. That you truly do think that queer people, the great majority of which experience same sex attraction, are... somehow... homophobic just for using the word despite their advocacy against homophobia and total acceptance of that aspect of themselves and others. That our fight for marriage equality and employment and housing protections and human rights is rendered COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IRRELEVANT because we used a word that Boomers and even some of gen X hurled at each other because a guy was a little bit girly, or a girl refused to grow her hair long, or because men were scared that a man would treat them the way they treated women. (Because queer as an archaic slur, ultimately, comes from misogyny as much as homophobia.)

Let's say you really do mean well and really do know people who were called queers instead of fags, or you really did grow up hearing "that is so queer" to describe things people didn't like, or you really did have "queer" hurled at you by straight people as if there was something wrong with you for not being cis and straight.

(Notice something, there? You probably haven't actually experienced any of that, nor anyone you know. This wank about who I am as a queer person - it's always aimed at us. Never the straights that used it against us. Nobody uses the word queer except queer people any more, I am 99% certain that you don't know ANYBODY who has had it thrown at them AS a slur, so that means that the only people you can target on your crusade are... gender and sexual minorities. Not cis/straight people. Because they're not calling us queers and haven't in decades.

That means you are knowingly targeting minorities over this EXCLUSIVELY, I am completely fucking certain..

... but I'M the homophobe?)

In which case all I can say is: I hope that the well-meaningness that's made you put this hateful thing into my inbox, that's made you say such hateful things to a minority because of their identity (there's a word for treating people differently because they're a minority, especially hostile treatment..), will outshine the hatefulness of what you're saying and lead you to a better way to express your desire to protect people.

If you truly are coming from a misplaced belief that we're somehow deprecating ourselves by being queer, and not a desire to force us out of the closet or to run off any gender or sexual minority, then I apologise for my hostility, acknowledge that learning takes time (and patience that I am unable to give, for I am tired of bad actors pretending they're not and cannot do it), and wish you the best in learning to be inclusive and loving so we can count you one day, at least, as a friend of us queer folk. Maybe one day we'll even welcome you as one of us. I'd love to do that more than I'd like to deal with THIS crap. I can't imagine me going off on you will have helped at all, but from in my experience people who want to protect gender and sexual minorities protect them. They don't target them. That's why I am writing this post under the assumption that you wrote this because you have bad intentions towards me as a queer person, and not out of a well meaning desire to protect anyone you think I've somehow hurt by being me.

In which case? Get fucked.

#long post #queer #queer queer queer #you know how I just said that I often come across as aggressive without intending to?#Disregard that this post is 100% aggressively intended #do not pick on my fellow queer folk or I will Go Off on you #also I don't get using privileged as an insult #that's like insulting me by calling me white #it's a descriptor #some people are privileged #I am privileged in some ways and not so in others #my queerness tho? definitely not

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sidecarghost · 3 years

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My Reaction to Destiel in Spn 15x18 to 15x20

Notes: this will contain spoilers for up to series finale 15x20.

I am in LGBTQ+, and this is my personal opinion on the treatment of Destiel, Dean, and Castiel in episodes 15x18-15x20. The LGBTQ+ community is complex and varied, just like any community, so I do not intend for my views to be seen as representative. I think any reaction is just as valid as mine.

Castiel’s Declaration and Dean’s Response

I personally thought Misha Collins’ performance of Castiel’s declaration of love was earnest and authentic. It was beautiful, and I loved every word of it. What bothered me about 15x18 was Dean not reciprocating. I understand that love doesn’t always work out, but this is a LGBTQ+ relationship. There are so few LGBTQ+ relationships on tv, so it’s difficult to understand why anyone would see the need to add an unfulfilled LGBTQ+ relationship that leaves the queer character unloved. LGBTQ+ are just as worthy to be loved as cishet. Before this viewers could use their imagination, but now it’s pretty final that Dean never thought of Cas as more than a friend, and that Dean is vaguely to deeply disturbed by his BFF being in love with him.

I think 15x20 tried to firmly establish Dean as cishet (retconning any prior subtextual queer coding) by having Dean show more affection to his car joining him in Heaven then he had to his LGBTQ+ friend near death. I hate that Dean is so cold to Cas during that declaration scene, and then no other insight into Dean’s feelings is ever shown. So we can only infer Dean’s feelings from that scene and the reaction reads confused, disturbed, shocked, and disbelieving. And I feel second hand crushed for Castiel. That would not be a happy moment for me at all. Just because Dean doesn’t feel any attraction to Castiel I don’t think that excuses his coldness during the declaration. This was a heartless way to react to a close queer friends admittance to an attraction, and the cold shoulder reaction seems really OOC for Dean.

Dean is typically much more sensitive about other people’s feelings. I know he is often painted as tough and unfeeling, but that’s really when his own feelings are in question. Usually he seems very in tune when someone else needs emotional support, and here he is just like mentally checking out. Dean appears to be thinking “Oh my BFF is confessing his love, I will just gawk at him like he is some kind of crazy.” Then Dean’s last words to Castiel are “Don’t do this, Cas,” because he’d like his final message to be invalidating. And then there is HUGE problem that Dean was so disturbed by Cas’s declaration that he never mentions it over the course of 15x19 and 15x20. Even though his friend gave his life for him.

Bad Representation more Harmful than No Representtion

I could be wrong, but I feel like the inclusion of Destiel this late in the game just to make it unrequited was malicious. And that’s because Destiel is a big thing for fandom and especially LGBTQ+ in fandom. Even non-Spn fandom LGBTQ+ know all about Destiel. I never dreamed the ship would go canon, and that was fine because the show could play out and I could read and write fic. Destiel was a fun ship, because the characters had wonderful development from the show, and the actors had great chemistry and were good looking and talented. Dean and Cas were complex and multi-dimensional and ready to run a coffeehouse or become pop star wannabes in a televised singing contest.

The show never told fans Dean and Cas wouldn’t love each other, so it was so easy for me to imagine they would love each other. That has changed since I watched the finale. I personally can’t ship Destiel anymore because all I remember now is the angel giving the hunter his heart, and Dean being so cold and uncaring. Dean stays so far away from Cas like he can’t stand to be close to him. When the two characters used to be in each other’s personal space all the time. It’s like the show wanted me to know how wrong I was to ever read a romance there. As though I had personally offended Dean Winchester. I always thought Dean could be bi, but now he is canon cishet to me. Because if he was going to be attracted to a guy it’d be Cas, because he is the most badass character on show. I’m okay with explanation that Dean was shell shocked in 15x18, but Dean’s continued indifference in 15x20 makes it more likely to me that the show intended for Dean to just not feel that way about Cas.

LGBTQ+ Character Erased

The show ended 10 days ago, but many LGBTQ+ spn fandom members are still reeling from Castiel’s erasure from the story as soon as he came out. There was so much hope that the show was giving LGBTQ+ fandom a ship they never expected in 15x18. The way everything seemed to signal that Dean and Cas would be brought back together in 15x20. And theories abounded on possible scenarios. My personal favorite was Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty in 15x20 as a reverse of Castiel rescuing Dean from Hell in 4x01. This felt historic to see an actual fandom mlm ship finally get validated on the show, like LGBTQ+ were being seen and told we were just as valid as cishet by the show we loved.

But in the end, the LGBTQ+ relationship was just a tease. A queer angel declared his love and died. Then Dean died so he’d never get chance to process his feelings (if he had any). Dean and the viewers learned Cas had been saved, but Dean never bothered to pray to Cas or make any other attempt to reconnect with him. Had Cas escaped before Dean’s death? Had Cas just let Dean die? We never find out. Whether intentional or not, Castiel no longer had any significance in the life or death of the man he loved so strongly. If you related to Cas the exemption was a gut punch. I saw Cas as important and he was my voice and my story, and then 15x20 had Castiel as unimportant to the story and he was silenced.

The Bury your Gay trope

Cas had come out, and now his last scene was his death. Castiel was written out of the show, and no one seemed willing to give him more than a passing thought. The series regular and reoccurring character of 12 years was treated like he was never very important to Dean or Sam. This wasn’t historic, this is the “bury your gay” trope and a real problem for LGBTQ+ representation in movies and shows.

Negative impact of teasing LGBTQ+ romance in movies and shows

15x18 didn’t just feature Cas coming out, his coming out could have been handled just like Chuck’s in season 11 by dialogue stating he liked guys too. Castiel’s coming out was part of a declaration of love to his best friend. This teased a possible LGBTQ+ romance between two male leads with no intention of follow through. Heteronormative fans can state my perspective was invalid, but I’d like to challenge them to see LGBTQ+ as just as valid and normal as cishet romance.

If unintentional:

this was insensitive and bad representation

If intentional:

at best queer baiting (Dean was cishet so any fans that thought reciprocation was possible were wrong. Never mind all the subtextual queer coding of Dean that non-heteronormative viewers had observed.)

at worst outright homophobia (if you read Dean as a closeted bisexual that is fridged before he has chance to come out)

The Intention of C* Spn?

I have to wonder what the LGBTQ+ in Spn fandom ever did to make the show runners so mad at us. I would really like to get the perspective of the show runners, because without that, it is just too easy to believe the worst.

Perceiving the Finale Message of We don’t Belong

And the worst is heart wrenching. The marginalized members of fandom that related to the outcast angel were excluded from the Winchester’s ending. Even though we cared about them so much over the years. Many members of fandom had found families, and were validated by the reoccurring theme that family doesn’t end in blood.

But the finale retconned that message. Castiel was queer, and he was erased. He wasn’t a part of Sam and Dean’s ending. Fandom that related to Castiel could see our affection for the brothers wasn’t reciprocated. We just helped when we were useful but in the end unworthy of love. Family actually did end in blood, and we were naive for believing otherwise.

Spn queer baited LGBTQ+ one last time to drive up viewership, so the marginalized part of the audience could bear witness to Castiel’s exclusion from the Winchester’s finale. We never belonged. This wasn’t our story. This was the story of cishet white brothers, Sam and Dean, that were the product of their cishet white parents, John and Mary, that lived up the road in their Heaven. The queer angel of the lord was not going to intrude in their story any longer, despite his devotion to them over the past 12 years. We didn’t belong, because Castiel didn’t belong.

Other Views are Valid

I just want to reiterate that everything I’m saying is just my own opinion. If other LGBTQ+ thought the episodes were perfect that is also very valid. If you are not a LGBTQ+ then I appreciate your support, and ask that you check any biases before disagreeing with my opinion. Cishet will never be made to feel marginalized, inferior, or abnormal because of their sexuality or gender. And if you want to save LGBTQ+ lives you can try to change your view to see queer as normal and become a LGBTQ+ ally.

TLDR;

Misha’s performance was amazing. Bobo Beren’s writing was brilliant. After 15x18, the romance was like a puzzle that had all the pieces carefully together except the last one. Then 15x20 took that beautiful, nearly complete puzzle and dumped it in a metal trash bin, soaked it in lighter fluid, and burned it to ash. I blame the showrunners. They should never have had a LGBTQ+ come out to have his love unrequited, die, and then get erased from the story. Bad representation is worse than no representation.

#spn #Destiel #my spn thoughts #spn ending #spn 15x18 #spn 15x20 #spn season 15 #supernatural #deancas #Andrew Dabb

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shadow-scenarios · 4 years

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Can you do somethin with the persona 5 boys have an s/o (they/them) coming out as bisexual?

Hey Anon, of course I can!! My blog is a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community because I’m also a member!! As someone who broke gender a long time ago, I support you.

Bisexual people are very valid and you should never berate them!!

Coming out is very scary & I can understand why you would want headcanons for that. I hope you like them.

- Nexus.

Joker { Akira Kurusu }

✧ Akira is very aware of the LGBTQ+ community despite not having many interactions with it himself. Most of the culture he has read of it comes from the Internet. He knows they exist quietly & are not harming anyone, so he sees no reason to be affected by it.

✧ Absolutely supportive of his significant other. It is something he cannot change { not that he would choose to change their sexuality if he could!! } so he accepts it. They are still his & that is all that matters.

✧ If they ever wanted to go to Pride, he’d love to come with them!! Would absolutely help them to make flags if they wanted to. Though if they did not want to go, he would definitely understand. Being public about their sexuality is something very difficult considering the conservative climate in Japan.

✧ Homophobia would not be allowed anywhere near him. If anyone were to ever make remarks about them in a derogatory way, he would immediately be noting their names down & taking a trip to Mementos to change some hearts.

Skull { Ryuji Sakamoto }

✧ Ryuji has very little knowledge of different sexualities. Most of the people he has known all his life were straight & he does not know otherwise. When they come out to him, he is definitely confused. They find both men & women attractive? He is not homophobic, he merely wishes to understand.

✧ Supportive of them afterwards!! They are beautiful no matter what kind of people they like, he finds a bunch of people attractive as well. He ends up doing some research into the community as not to offend them & finds the different pride flags. The next day he hands them a tiny little pin badge of the bisexual flag to either go on either their bag or their room and tells them in the sweetest voice possible that he wanted to show his support.

✧ Anyone who is rude to them can ‘eff off. No one else should be allowed to dictate their sexuality apart from them & he makes sure to drill it into everyone’s head that they use gender neutral pronouns.

Fox { Yusuke Kitagawa }

✧ Yusuke tells them that they are perfect no matter what genders they like. He then goes a little over the top & picks them up in a burst of passion, whispering quietly into their ear that there is absolutely no judgement from him.

✧ Offers to paint them in a colour palette made entirely out of the bisexual flag once he learns what the colours were. The colours blend very well & the painting is pinned up on their wall. It is incredibly sweet & to this day Yusuke says that it is his favourite painting as he was able to ‘ capture their true self ’.

✧ Ends up having the most dramatic response to homophobia, publicly calling out the offender for even suggesting his significant other was less than perfection.

Crow { Goro Akechi }

✧ Akechi is more relived than anything that his significant other feels they can trust him with anything. Coming out is a huge deal & it must have taken a lot of courage to muster the words. He would embrace them into a hug & tell them that he completely supports them.

✧ He ends up making a note of Bisexual Awareness Day & looks to buy them a small bisexual flag if they are comfortable with it. He would put it in their room as a symbol that he accepts them, no matter who they are attracted to.

✧ If anyone was ever publicly homophobic towards them, Akechi would lead them away from the situation & comfort them when they were safe at home. He would thread his fingers through their own, mumbling reassuring words. Later, he ends up bringing out a stash of their favourite food for situations such as these & gifts them a genuine smile. Goro Akechi says gay rights.

{ Yuuki Mishima }

✧ At first, he is a little worried that their coming out was an indirect way of breaking up with him & he almost cries but once the misunderstanding is cleared up, he is totally fine with it, though he feels a little more insecure.

✧ Mishima knows a lot about the LGBTQ+ community because of all the time he spends online. It never really changes the relationship all that much & he ends up being the most relaxed of all the boys about it.

✧ His stance of all people being valid never changes & although he is very much too introverted for his own good to speak up about homophobia, he would make sure that they were okay after anything negative was spoken.

Word Count: 750

Publish Date: 29.09.20

#{ joker }#{ skull }#{ fox }#{ crow }#{ mishima }#{ I vibe with the bisexual/Pansexual people so I respect you Anon }#persona 5 royal x reader #persona 5 x reader #persona 5 imagines #persona #p5r #akira kurusu x reader #ryuji sakamoto x reader #yusuke kitagawa x reader #goro akechi x reader #Mishima x reader

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exhaustedfander · 4 years

Text

Oh, Bi the Way [Analogical]

Here’s a fun little Analogical highschool au where Virgil comes out as Bi to Logan. Reblogs and feedback are really appreciated!

a03 link

word count: 2,351

Virgil paces tight circles in his bedroom, his hands woven in his hair as his mind runs rampant. He glances out the window, the daylight golden and fading outside. Logan will be here soon, he realizes with dread, his heart hammering even faster at the thought.

I shouldn’t be this fucking nervous, he thinks to himself as if most things in life don’t make him anxious. Virgil’s been plagued by horrible anxiety for most of his life, but this really isn’t something that should be putting the pit in his stomach that it is.

But he’s been hiding something – is still hiding something and it’s so goddamn stupid. It really isn’t a big deal. He should be able to go ahead and say it no problem. Except Virgil’s stupid brain has to make things so fucking complicated, doesn’t it?! It has to mess with him and make him think that maybe people are going to freak out and maybe it’s going to be a total disaster.

He’s bisexual.

Yeah, yeah. He knows it isn’t a big deal. Tons of people are queer, and he just happens to be one of them. For fuck’s sake, his best friend Logan is gay! It’s not his fault that no one had told him there was an in-between. He was anxious enough about crushes on girls so once he figured out boys too? Well, he didn’t have the balls to tell anyone.

Sometimes he blamed it on the fact that he grew up in the foster system. Getting shuffled around from home to home the way he did, he didn’t exactly have a chance to get a good set of parents to teach him the ins-and-outs of the LGBTQ+ community. He was a fourteen-year-old getting bounced around, not even trying to get close to any of the people whose care he was under because in a blink of an eye, they’d be gone.

And then he’d gotten adopted by the Knight-Hart’s. It was still what Virgil was probably the most grateful for in his life. He was fourteen-in-a-half, having lost hope of being adopted years ago and yet here he was, brought into the home of two of the sweetest people he’d ever met.

It’s so stupid – Virgil’s parents are gay! He’s got two dads and he can’t even tell them he’s bi? Why does his brain hate him so much?! His fathers’ have helped him so much in the few years he’s been in their care, bringing more happiness and joy into his life than he’d known in so long. His Pops is always making dad jokes that Virgil can pretend he despises all he wants, but really, they crack him up. He’s such a kind, good-hearted guy who’s been nothing but supportive of Virgil since day one. His dad is no different in that respect, loving just the same but with a bit more bravado and eccentricities. What can he say? His dad’s an actor and his flair for the dramatics fail to surprise Virgil any longer.

He loves them. He really loves them but it’s still so hard to think about coming out to them, let alone Logan. God, Logan’s going to be there anytime now!

Virgil continues his pacing, trying his best to steady his breathing. If he can muster up the courage, he’s going to tell him. Virgil’s going to come out to his best friend.

After everything the pair’s been through, Logan deserves to know. Virgil met John in the beginning of high school, a time where he found it almost impossible to make friends of any kind. Virgil’s anxiety and self-doubt made having a mere successful conversation feel like an accomplishment of some kind. He didn’t think he’d ever get the chance to have a true friend, let alone a best friend. But when he met Logan that all changed.

Despite Virgil’s hesitations, they got along famously right away. Although Logan was far stiffer and more out of touch with pop-culture than anyone Virgil had ever met (Seriously, he pronounced “fam” as fahm) he was also an incredibly smart and interesting person who Virgil was proud to know. Logan could tell him so many interesting facts about outer-space or the ocean and was always really good about handling Virgil’s anxiety. Virgil had never met someone who he clicked with so instantaneously before, they just got each other. Even if they were spending time together doing separate things, Virgil was thankful to merely be in Logan’s presence. He kept him grounded.

So, of course he fell hard for him. it’s not like Virgil doesn’t know that there’s a change that his feelings are reciprocated, it isn’t impossible. Just unlikely, and damn does it sure feel impossible. Virgil’s been spending the nearly four years he’s known Logan trying to convince himself that he’s straight as an arrow and doesn’t feel anything for Logan – neither of which things are true, of course.

The two friends are going to the same college, so it isn’t like Virgil’s gonna have any room to breathe and get other his feelings. He’s been dancing around things for so long, and frankly it’s getting kind of exhausting. Virgil isn’t expecting Logan to feel the same way – god, he’s never been that much of an optimist in all his life – but telling him is something Virgil’s decided he has to go through with.

If he can manage to muster up the courage, that is.

Logan arrives, punctual as always and beautiful as ever. Logan’s the only kid Virgil’s ever met who wears a tie almost daily, claiming such attire is an attribute of his “seriousness.” Hah, as if Virgil doesn’t know about his unicorn onesie, not that he’d tell anyone about it. He’ll let Logan keep up the “serious” act, if that’s what he wants. It suits him, anyhow.

Virgil’s going to give it a minute, he decides, and they start to do their homework in relative silence. This is no oddity for the pair, they often spend time over at each other’s homes after school to do work or catch up or both. But Virgil’s heart isn’t usually beating out of his chest when he’s doing his fucking APLit homework. He told himself he was just going to take a minute to collect his thoughts before breaking the silence, but god, it’s been like thirty minutes at least and he hasn’t said anything and he’s getting too fucking nervous and he doesn’t think he can do this and –

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice cuts through the haze of his mind, voice calm and collected.

“Uh – yeah?” Virgil replies dumbly, his eyes snapping up to meet Logan’s gaze. Logan shuts his book, moving from his spot at Virgil’s desk to sitting beside him on his bed, a look of concern etched into his face.

“Are you alright? You seem distressed, and you’ve been reading that same page for over five minutes now.”

Shit, Virgil hadn’t even noticed. Logan’s question has offered him the perfect Segway to what he wants to say, it couldn’t have been laid out better. Except…Virgil can’t do this. He’s too nervous, and his hands are trembling, and this is going to be an absolute train-wreck.

“I’m fine,” Virgil mutters, hoping Logan will just drop it. He just wants to burry himself in his own cowardice, thank you very much. “Just a little distracted, I guess.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” Logan’s voice is even and steady, so the opposite of how Virgil’s feeling, “but you appear to be very nervous. For several days now, your anxiety has appeared to be heightened. I didn’t want to voice my…” Logan swallows thickly, “…concerns, fearing it might only worsen things. But I must confess, I’m getting a bit worried.”

Well fuck, is all Virgil can think. Logan, in the absolute sweetest way possible, has backed him into a corner. Evidently, Logan’s been worried about him and the thought makes his stomach turn. He hadn’t even realized he was acting any more nervous than he usually does.

"I don’t suppose you won’t just drop this for a while?” Virgil asks with a fleeting hope that maybe he can escape this in one piece.

“I’m afraid not.” Virgil sighs. It figures.

“Okay. Okay, you’re going to think this is so fucking stupid.”

“I highly doubt that. When was the last time I reacted in such a way to you telling me something?” Logan makes a good point, as Virgil can’t remember a recent instance.

“I mean, sure, but this is really dumb, L. I’ve kinda been trying to tell you this for forever, but, big surprise, I’m really anxious about it.” Virgil flinches as he feels a hand settle onto his shoulder, seeing the sincere concern in Logan’s eyes.

“Whatever it is you want to tell me, I’m here, Virgil. I’m your friend and your fears are not baseless or dumb. It’s okay to be afraid.” Virgil’s pulse hammers in his ears as he nods, taking a shaky breath.

“Yeah alright…s-so uh, I’m bi.” Virgil nervously ducks his head, his eyes landing on the carpet. It’s not like it would make sense for Logan to react poorly, but like, what if he did?

“Well, thank you for telling me, Virgil. How long have you –.”

“I dunno, a while,” Virgil interrupts, still not looking at Logan, “See? I told you, stupid.” “I never said stupid. You aren’t stupid for not coming out until now, there is no time limit or restrictions when it comes to identity. I’m glad you told me, Virge. Thank you, I know that it can be very hard to do so.” Virgil finally feels confident enough to meet Logan’s eyes, a lopsided smile forming on his face.

“Thanks, man. That kinda makes me feel better. You’re, uh, the first person I’ve told. I wanted it to be you who I told first, that is. Cuz, you know, we’re…” Virgil hesitates, struggling through the words “such good friends.” The pressure on his shoulder reseeds and is replaced at his hand where Logan has laced their fingers together. Virgil feels a shiver run down his spine.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me, or was there something else as well?” Virgil can feel the heat radiating off of him, knowing his cheeks are going crimson. Fuck, fuck Logan knows. He knows and he’s pitying him.

“I – uhh –,” Virgil sputters, incredibly dignified.

“I only ask because you still seem to be rather nervous. I’m not trying to provoke you and I apologize if that’s what I’ve made you to believe. I’m –.”

“I’m also, uh, kinda really in love with you.” Virgil can’t help it, it just comes up like word vomit. He can’t believe he just said that! He’s sure any second now Logan’s going to let go of his hand and push him away. He’s sure Logan will leave and never come back, and he’ll have lost his best friend.

“You…you are?” Logan doesn’t sound outraged or disgusted. He sounds relieved.

“Uh, y-yeah. Shit, did I just make things weird?” From the way Virgil finds Logan taking a fistful of Virgil’s hoodie and pulling him into a kiss, he’s inclined to believe that no, he didn’t just make things weird. The embrace is clumsy at first, their teeth knocking before Virgil’s hands are laced in Logan’s hair, melting into this kiss.

“I love you too, in case that wasn’t clear,” Logan says breathlessly as they part, their foreheads pressed together. Virgil laughs, relief washing over him in waves.

“Fuck, L, I thought I was about to lose you as a friend or something. I never entertained the thought that…”

“That I’ve been in love with you for years?” Virgil’s lips curled into a smirk.

“Years, huh?” He asks, as if he probably hasn’t loved Logan for just as long unknowingly.

“And here I’ve been, suffering in the belief that you were heterosexual. And you know my stance on feelings.” Virgil laughs, kissing Logan again and wondering how quickly you can become addicted to something because holy shit, this is amazing.

“Yeah, yeah, their “the bane of your existence” and all that.”

“Priestley.”

“Full disclosure, there’s no way I’m finishing my homework now,” Virgil says. Logan swats him.

“You horrid delinquent.” Virgil chuckles again, throwing his arms around Logan and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. For two boys who claim to be averse to most physical contact, they seem to be enjoying themselves a fair amount.

“Okay, this is probably a stupid question, but are we a thing now?”

“Are you asking to be my boyfriend?”

“Maaaaybe.”

“Well then I accept. I find your presence to be tolerable.” Virgil snorts, holding Logan closer than he ever has and never wanting to let him go before a thought comes to mind.

“Hey, L?”

“Mm?”

“You wanna stay for dinner and help me come out to my dads?” Virgil can’t believe it, but for once in his life he’s feeling brave. Logan’s made him feel brave.

“I would be more than happy to offer my assistance.” Virgil grins. “It’s gonna be great because they already love you, I mean, you’re so fuckin’ smart, and nice, and cute, and –.” “You’re rambling, Virge.” Virgil pulls away to see the flush on Logan’s cheeks.

“Aww, you’re embarrassed!”

“I absolutely am not.”

“Lo?” “Yes, Virgil?” The fondness in Logan’s tone was just about to kill him it was so sweet. Virgil kisses him again, long and slow, his hands planted firmly above Logan’s waist. His boyfriend – oh my god, he has a boyfriend! – continues to lean in, even as he pulls away. There’s no way Virgil’s ever going to recover from the cuteness.

“I love you.” Logan sighs contently.

“I love you too, Virge.”

“Virgil, honey, dinner’s ready!” Virgil’s Pops calls from downstairs. Virgil and Logan share a somewhat nervous, lovesick glance.

"Let’s go tell my dad’s I’m bi as fuck and have an insanely nerdy boyfriend,” Virgil says as he gets up from the bed, earning a chuckle from Logan. Logan grips onto his hand.

“Lead the way.”

=+=

#analogical #romantic analogical #background royality #roman and patton are Virgils dads #virgil sanders #logan sanders #human au #high school au #coming out as bi #bi Virgil #love confession #Virgil is the big nervous #bit is goes very very well #fluff #cute #my writing #sammy writes #exhaustedfander #exhaustedfander writes

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arrowsjusticeleague · 4 years

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Why I will stand by my opinion of the Arrowverse having built a better team of heroes with the (as of yet technically unnamed) Justice League than Marvel's Avengers, despite the latter being more economically successful and popular: an essay by me

(Please don't hate me I actually really like Marvel and the Avengers and stuff I just think DC have done it better)

Character Development: They built up every character in the Justice League properly, giving them time and space to develop before making them part of a team. Each character has their own show, bar Martian Manhunter and Superman, but Martian Manhunter has had plenty of screen time and character development on Supergirl, and Superman, while having only brief appearances on Supergirl, he's certainly had more screen time than Hawkeye did before The Avengers. Furthermore, Superman is probably the most well known superhero in DC comics alone, if not the most well known superhero ever, and his own TV show (along with Lois!) has been announced as a work in development. This contrasts with Black Widow, who despite having been in many Marvel movies since her first appearance in Iron Man 2 in 2010, is only now getting her movie after ten years of being in the franchise, and after almost eight years of being part of the most popular superhero team in the world. Every other character: The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman, White Canary and Black Lightning are all the leads of their own shows, and have been developed over years of TV episodes, each as individuals before they became part of what is possibly the most iconic superhero alliance ever.

Diversity: Marvel has only recently started adding "diversity" to its movies after criticism from the viewers who want to see representation onscreen. DC and the CW have never had that pressure regarding the Arrowverse, as a less popular franchise than Marvel's Avengers, yet it has more diversity in the franchise than many I've seen before. Two of the League are black men, one is a lesbian, and the new leader of the League is a bi woman. Each of the shows involved in developing this team has in some way directly dealt with discrimination in society, and many of the shows have multiple POC and LGBTQ+ characters on them, with Supergirl having the world's first ever live action trans superhero. What I've just described should be the normality amongst TV and movies today. This representation should be seen everywhere, and the fact that the MCU has so little is honestly shocking considering the immense scale of the franchise now.

The League was only created after the huge 'change' in continuity: Respectively, Avengers Infinity War/Endgame and Crisis on Infinite Earths represent similar turning points for the MCU and the Arrowverse. But the Avengers were formed before this turning point even happened. The Justice League have only been established since then. This may seem like a ridiculous point, but it ties into point 1 largely. The Justice League needed a trigger for them to form: Oliver’s death was this. The Avengers formed because the world needed them, and this I understand, but it seemed to early in the MCU's continuity to establish an official team of heroes which from then on could only work together and not individually. From then on, there had to be a cameo from one of the other Avengers in almost every MCU movie from then on. Captain America: Civil War was Avengers 2.5, and Spider-Man: Homecoming could've worked without Iron Man to boost its sales. Black Panther (one of my all time favorite MCU movies) was an incredible movie even without the appearance of Bucky Barnes during the end credits, and characters such as Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Hulk were stuffed into other movies within the franchise when they couldn't find another place for them. Only three out of the six original Avengers had movies featuring the same actors, (all of them were white, seemingly priveleged men) one had a movie with a completely different cast which was disregarded as canon when it didn't hit a high enough box office boom, and two were characters which had made cameos in other movies with very little screen time and even less development. The Arrowverse having 'unofficial' team-ups, AKA the crossovers, when several different groups of heroes, each established on their own individual shows got together for a threat that was too huge for them to handle individually, gave the characters space to have their own shows and develop DC lore without having to appear in any official context, before creating the Justice League after their pioneer and original hero who inspired them all has sacrificed himself to create a universe where they can all live in. Furthermore, the writers had clearly been planning this for potentially up to six years, as in an episode of The Flash season 1, Gideon says: "Barry Allen... one of the founding members of the....", suggesting that the Justice League (which The Flash of the original comic book variety was an original founder of too) was partially founded by Barry, yet they still took a further six years to develop him and many other characters. If they'd so desperately wanted an onscreen Justice League then, which I'm sure they did, then they could've created it then, much like Marvel did, introducing Supergirl and Batwoman etc. to the universe without first developing them.

My overall point is, the MCU may have done it first in the form of the Avengers, but that doesn't mean they prioritised storytelling. The Arrowverse have built it up over time, and yes, it may have been predictable, but this anticipation has led to an incredible payoff, and whereas it may be the end of an era for both the MCU and the Arrowverse, it is also the beginning for the Arrowverse. It may have had live action onscreen superheroes for years, but it's only just beginning to create a new era, an age of heroes, a league of heroes. For Marvel, this era is over, but it never really got started.

(Again sorry for rant no hate on marvel I love the comics and no hate on the mcu I love many of those movies, plenty hate on disney as a franchise and how it's storytelling direction was just: what sells, fast and with poor development for characters that deserve it)

#crisis on infinite earths #dc #dctv #dc comics #arrowverse #marvel #mcu #avengers #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war #arrow #supergirl #the flash #batwoman #black lightning #legends of tomorrow #coie #coie spoilers #justice league

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illnessfaker · 3 years

Text

[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )

#op #🌙#homophobia #gender #site culture #no reblogs -

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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thehollowprince said: And I also stand by the opinion that they could have just done a solo run of the O5 X-Men starting a new timeline with the information they got from the future.

thehollowprince said: Its not like Marvel doesn’t constantly do AUs and retcons

OMG Josh you have no idea how bad I wanted this. They could’ve done SO MUCH with that concept. Letting the 05 keep their foreknowledge and the world they could have created with that?

They could’ve averted the initial Krakoan mission and saved Darwin, Gabe, Petra and Sway in the first place. They could have all been X-Men from their Day One, Scott and Alex would have actually gotten to KNOW their brother and Gabe quite possibly would never have gone full Dark Side despite the writers apparently now seeming obsessed with the idea there’s just something innately bad within Gabe that’s always destined to bear fruit at some point, ugh, whatever, like who do you think you are, Kant?

They could’ve recruited the Giant Size X-Men lineup earlier, and saved John Proudstar, who side by side with his brother Jamie, are a force to be reckoned with.

They could have convinced Pietro and Wanda to join them instead of the Avengers and been like no but seriously that way lies nothing but shitty storylines and bad decisions that will be blamed on you by your teammates despite the fact that any and all of the bad decisions that were ACTUALLY yours could have been averted if any of your teammates were capable of functioning as an actual support system. Come join us. We have actual support systems, except for the times when we don’t, but we recruited Deadpool to break the fourth wall and he and Logan are currently cutting through the ranks of every writer who would write as hating and fighting each other instead of being a loving fucking family goddammit.

Jean could have faced the Phoenix head-on when the time for that came, using her knowledge of the future not to fear an inevitable death, but rather to know she had nothing TO fear, that the power to not control this force, but just be ONE with it, with no NEED to control it or be controlled by it, a symbiotic union, two beings in harmony deciding on courses of action together. The Phoenix’s innate powers and prerogative of rebirth and destruction tempered by Jean’s mercy, aimed and focused by Jean’s reason, the double-edged sword that is fire capable of warming homes or destroying them completely combined with Jean’s conscience guiding it to use its power for the former rather than the latter.

They could have stopped the Legacy Virus from getting out and killing millions as well as spared us from migraines induced by an AIDS metaphor so shitty at being a metaphor most people forget it was literally written to be an AIDS metaphor.

The body swap would never have happened and Kwannon could have joined the X-Men as a full member from the time she was introduced, rather than dragged along in the wake of Betsy’s tangled storylines for a couple decades.

They could have stopped Fitzroy from killing the Hellions. Hell, if they train Illyana early enough and have her mentored by Wanda who is perfectly fucking competent when left to her own devices, then like, maybe they can even take a jaunt to the future to save Fitzroy from dying in the first place and being resurrected with no soul. Not gonna lie, ever since then I’ve kinda been seriously interested in what the hell would a hero version of Trevor freaking Fitzroy even BE like, y’know? Call it morbid fascination, but like. I kinda want it, guys. LOL.

Add to that note, they could have taken another jaunt to the future and rescued Rachel from being made into a Hound by Ahab. Through the power of some convoluted plot tangle I just made up for convenience, Scott still ends up in a relationship with Maddy briefly, in one of those self-fulfilling prophecy type things where he went into it with the full intention of just averting the future and saving Maddy from her fate as the Goblyn Queen, but somehow ended up in a love triangle with a very alive Jean and Maddy who is fully informed of Sinister’s shenanigans and quite displeased with that asshole, and look, I don’t know how all of this goes exactly, but let’s cut to the chase, my only real endgame with this is making sure that Nate’s born properly, saved from Apocalypse and the techno-virus by the combined efforts of Scott, Maddy and Jean as well as Uncles Warren, Bobby and Hank, and Jean calls up the Phoenix through some psychic bond or whatever and is like hey girl, can I hit you up for a loan real quick? Got some losers that need toasting.

And in this AU the Phoenix totally has her back, and one brief cosmic power-up and gratuitous Sailor Moon transformation later, Jean glows and intones some epic one-liners with appropriate gravitas, and then just punts both Apocalypse and Sinister to the far side of the universe, never to be seen or heard from again. They like, hit a black hole on the way there I guess. It was very sad. Violin strings may commence with the requiem. Okay that’s enough, they can stop now.

So then through the plot contrivances of fuck you, I said so, Scott and Maddy ultimately part amicably and Scott and Jean get back together and the three of them civilly co-parent both baby Nate and Rachel, as Maddy keeps the healing powers she gained as Anodine and stays with the X-Men for her own reasons.

The telepaths are all better trained by the expertise Jean gained in her powers while in the future, so the next time the Shadow King comes bumming around looking to cause chaos, Betsy, Emma and Jean just look at each other and laugh and say nuh-uh before psychically squishing him into a marble.

Warren never becomes Archangel. Onslaught isn’t a thing. They make nice with Magneto and say okay you may have a couple points, let’s discuss. Bishop arrives in the past for reasons totally unrelated to his original story, has no traitor to seek out among the X-Men, and thus he and Gambit end up besties in complete defiance of that stupid fucking story and because I just think they’re neat together. Yes I said neat. Gambit and Bishop are just neat. Deal with it.

Bishop still hates that Fitzroy guy though, he’s like, I don’t even know what it is about that guy, he just rubs me the wrong way, even though Fitzroy is not evil here and has always done good with his powers, which are channeled through a device Forge made him that lets him just absorb life force from a wide range around him, spread out and diluted enough that its like, the grass feels weird for a second, like whoa what even was that, and then its over. Actually, y’know what, scratch that. Fitzroy’s powers are stupid and unnecessary the way they are now anyway, so fuck it, this Fitzroy doesn’t need life force or whatever, he’s just a dude who makes time portals. He’s like Illyana with green hair and that ugly goatee. Hey I said this Fitzroy was non-evil, not that he was perfect.

Bobby’s out and proud since he was sixteen, and with actual competence and proficiency with his powers, which make him a Literal Unkillable Gay Icon, he’s an inspiration to LGBTQ+ teens everywhere and inspires other gay, bi and trans heroes to come out. He’s a big brother figure to all the baby gays that later join the X-Men, like, Rictor comes to him for advice back during the time equivalent to early X-Factor, when Rictor’s a trying-too-hard sixteen year old who thought college age Bobby was like the coolest, which is valid, because X-Factor Bobby was like A+ Bobby characterization and deserves more reads.

So Rictor comes out earlier as well, and by the time they even meet Shatterstar, instead of a slow burn friends to roommates to lovers scenario, Rictor takes one look at the love of his life and wastes no time coming out swinging with an absolutely terrible pick up line. Look, I said his big brother figure Bobby was out and proud in this AU, not that he magically had a better sense of humor. Some things just don’t change, y’know? Luckily, Shatterstar is a weirdo, and thus he finds terrible pick-up lines charming. At least when its Rictor saying them. They walk off for a first date, already practically hand in hand, voices fading into the distance as Rictor asks “By the way, have you met Dazzler yet? According to Bobby, apparently she’s your mom. That Longshot dude with the mullet over there is your dad I guess. We should go say hi.”

Hank gets an assistant hand-picked by the rest of the original X-Men, and who has one job and one job only. To follow him around and observe all his experiments, and he has veto power over experiments that People With IQs As High As Yours Should Know Better But I Guess You’ve Got Reed Richards Syndrome.

Hank’s like, “Hmm, if I built a time machine I could go back to the Jurassic Period and observe whether my theory of - “

Hank’s assistant: “Veto.”

“Damn. Okay I was also thinking of making a deep space communicator that can reach into the farthest reaches of space beyond any known civilization and just say hi, y’know? See if anyone’s out there.”

“Veto.”

“If I combine these genetically modified antibodies here with this strain of of DNA from - “

“Veto.”

“Well Forge built this device that does this to mutant powers but I think I can make it do - “

“Veto.”

“These nanobots I - “

“VETO,”

“Honestly, at this point I think you’re just saying that just because you like saying it.”

“Dr. McCoy, I promise you, I’m really, really not.”

Logan finds out about his future clan of stabby children, and seeks them out. He rescues Daken from Romulus, somebody stabs that loser with the immortal-killing sword, I don’t even care who, and after a few tense months of Logan trying too hard, he and Daken eventually bond over how hockey just isn’t violent enough. If you’re going to make a sport all about hitting each other, just really go for it or don’t even bother, y’know? Logan claps him on the shoulder and sniffs. That’s my boy. Then they find and rescue Laura and Gabby and take a road trip to Earth 1610 to pick up Jimmy. They have a house on campus, and new students walking by it are used to hearing loud growling and even howls. They were assured during orientation that that’s nothing to worry about, it just means the House of Snikt are watching a game and are rooting for opposing sides.

Emma’s recruited practically the day they get back. She’s only just started at the Hellfire Club and has only done a tiny bit of Evil when Warren schedules an appointment with her, and then he, Scott and Jean make a better pitch than Shaw and his ilk could ever match. They’ve been to the future. Come join with us and we’ll give you an all access pass to memories detailing exactly what’s going to happen in these particular areas and many more. All you have to do is ask. Oh and also please don’t seduce any married teammates. Its bad form. To be honest, I don’t think it’ll be an issue because Deadpool assures us Morrison has been taken care of, and don’t worry if that makes no sense to you, its a head-scratcher for us to. Just roll with it.

Nate ages normally here so its not like he ends up besties with forty year old Wade, but the latter having his own plot-contrived knowledge of the future because He’s Just Like That, decides that he won’t be denied at least SOME kind of bond with The Bestie That Wasn’t. He becomes Nate’s official babysitter. Well, not official, seeing as how Scott, Jean and Maddy don’t hire him and are very clear that their son is not to be left alone with this man at any time, he is a terrible influence and he keeps giving our kid guns. But then Wade just shows up anytime they’re out because he just has a sixth sense for Making Trouble, and he terrifies away whatever babysitter’s there and greets the returning and exasperated parents with a cheery wave.

“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t worry, we didn’t do anything dangerous or against the law. All we did today was I taught him to make bombs, but we were very careful, we wore safety goggles and really, they were very little bombs. Not even anything atomic. I honestly don’t think any of them could have even blown up this whole house, and I’ve been meaning to say, I’m not impressed with the structural integrity of this place. Couldn’t you have picked something with a sturdier foundation? Its like you don’t even expect random space mercenaries to attack your place out of the blue every other month. Have any of you even read a single issue of your own comics?”

Scott’s jaw twitches Ominously. Wade starts gathering up his things. Jean rubs her forehead wearily.

“Wade, what do you even think ‘dangerous’ means?”

Wade pauses and cocks his head. Gives it a solid twenty seconds of thought. Then he shrugs.

“I don’t know actually. Don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it. I always figured it was just one of those things people just say. Like, ‘oh, it looks like rain today,’ even if they’re not a forecaster and have no real meteorological credentials to speak of. ‘Oh, this mission will be dangerous,’ and I don’t even have to use up all my ammo and I only get shot twice. Y’know?”

“Leave,” Scott says. More like intones. House shakes a little bit but that might just be Wade’s imagination. Its very active.

“Leaving!” He says hastily. He jumps through the closed window and then teleports away amid the falling shower of broken glass. Why didn’t he do that while he was still inside the room? No one knows. Not even Wade knows. Why did the chicken cross the road? Who the fuck cares, now is it Original Recipe or Crispy?

Scott, Jean and Maddy search the house while Nate angelically claims they won’t find anything, Wade doesn’t even bring him cool stuff anymore cuz he knows you’ll just take it.

Maddy finds a high-tech laser space gun under a floorboard in the closet. She holds it up with one eyebrow raised pointedly. Scott and Jean flank her and their own eyebrows raise in solidarity. Well Jean’s does. Scott’s probably does but its hard to tell sometimes. Depends on what glasses or visor he’s wearing.

“That was already there,” Nate tries. Most powerful telepath and telekinetic in the world, but the kid can’t lie for shit. There’s not much point in trying when one of your moms is the freaking Phoenix, and that’s a skill that takes practice he just doesn’t have.

The three sets of parental eyebrows make a V, judgingly.

“One month of no video games or TV?” Okay, so terrible liar but quick on his feet. At least he knows when he’s beat and jumps straight to trying to shape his own punishment proactively.

“Two months. And no flying lessons either,” Jean says. “And don’t pout at me, young man. You know the rules. No weapons inside the house unless your grandpa Corsair is visitng and we’re too tired to fight him on keeping knives under his pillow. This is a Do As We Say, Not As We Do house. Deal with it. Now, this is going with the others and you can have it back when you’re eighteen.”

It would have been three months, but Jean and Maddy caught a telepathic sniff from Scott. He’s just so proud of his kid thinking so tactically. He’s growing up so fast. Both women mentally roll their eyes. Why is he like this.

“I don’t see what the big deal is anyway,” Nate sulks. “Its just a stupid laser gun. I mean, Uncle Gabe blew up our last house with his brain.”

“Yes and it was an accident and he feels absolutely terrible about that which is why we’re not going to bring it up when he and Armando come visit this weekend, right?”

“You can have my full compliance for two weeks off my sentence.”

“Or we can have your full compliance or two weeks will be added to your sentence,” Maddy says.

“You guys suck,” declares the ten year old vessel of near unlimited psychic might. He goes to his room, stomping all the way up the stairs so his grievances can be heard even by the House of Snikt next door. Course, they’ve already been listening to the whole thing with their enhanced hearing. There was nothing good on TV. Jimmy made popcorn and chewed with his mouth open just to piss off Daken.

‘The second Father leaves the room, I am going to stab you in such a slow healing place you’ll still be bleeding at bed time.’ Daken mouths at his little brother from another universe. Jimmy scrunches his face in confusion.

‘What?’ He mouths back. He’s terrible at reading lips. Or anything that isn’t skateboarding, really. And yet Father’s so happy that ‘at least one of my kids is content with stupid normal stuff and doesn’t go around drawing cover fire just because a mission is going so well its boring and they haven’t even gotten to pop their claws out yet.’

“That’s only because you’ve coddled him. He’s barely ever even been shot at. Just the one time on vacation in Majipoor and he wasn’t even the target, the assassin was aiming for me. If you would just let me take him on a proper outing to gain some real experience - “

“Not gonna happen.” Logan shuts that down real quick.

“Really Father, just look at him. He has zero situational awareness. I’ve been glaring a hole in the back of his head for a full minute now and he has no idea. That could just as easily be an actual laser scope, you know. He’s a disgrace to the whole family.”

“Daken, we’ve been over this,” Logan says firmly. “You have your sisters to bond with over gratuitous violence. Leave your brother alone. I don’t want anyone traumatizing him until trauma finds him all on its own. It’ll happen sooner or later, he’s as much a part of this family as anyone and that means its as good as done already, so there’s no need to hurry it along. If later on he decides he’s got a taste for it, you can take him on all the outings to get shot at that you want. But he’s gotta figure it out for himself first, and he doesn’t need his big brother being the one who introduces him to all that. He idolizes you, you know.”

Daken scoffs. He can’t even get the brat to chew with his mouth closed.

“He cut his hair from that style he liked so much, just because you hated it so much,” Logan says obliviously. Daken nods like he’s conceding the argument and hastens from the room while he can still keep his mouth shut. It won’t benefit anyone at this point to tell their father that Jimmy really only cut his hair because Daken told him he would set it on fire if he didn’t.

Ugh, families are the worst. Don’t even get him started on Laura stealing some of his clothes to wear without asking. And then has the gall to yell back at him when he yells “Silk! Its the finest cut of silk! Does that mean nothing to you?” at her.

“Oh get over it. Its not like I asked for killer robots to interrupt my date.”

“Of course they were going to interrupt your date with that Julian boy. I keep telling you, he’s a magnet for trouble. I can tell. I’m one too, remember?”

“Fine, whatever, you’re right and I should just expect every date with Julian from now until the end of time to end with fire and disaster.”

“Well now you’re being melodramatic. There’s no way that boy makes it past twenty five. He doesn’t even have a healing factor.”

“Why do you hate him so much anyway? If you’d just give him a chance - “

“What are you talking about? I give him a chance every single time he’s here and I don’t kill him.”

“Ugh, I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this. You always do this, you just decide on something and then you commit to that like the fate of the world depends on you standing firm on what’s usually a completely arbitrary decision in the first place!”

Daken sniffs. “I can assure you, there’s absolutely nothing arbitrary about my disdain for the Keller boy.”

“His name is Julian,” Laura enunciates with a glare.

“I don’t care,” Daken enunciates with an expression of lofty superiority.

“You two are so dumb,” Gabby says from the end of the hallway. They both turn identical glares on her. They’d noticed her arrive several minutes ago but they weren’t about to be distracted from their battle of wills. “Laura, you know Daken isn’t actually going to kill Julian. He doesn’t do that anymore except for really bad people sometimes and he just talks about stabbing people or killing them cuz he thinks he’s funny and then he gets all pissy because nobody ever gets that he doesn’t really mean it. He doesn’t even hate Julian and he used to be fine with him before he started dating you, its just he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Daken frowns at the petite would-be peacemaker. Meddlesome toddler. “What are you even babbling about? None of that is remotely true.”

Gabby rolls her eyes up at her brother from her much lower height. She taps the side of her nose with emphasis. “You do know we all have the same abilities to smell and analyze scents as you do, right? And you know everything you can tell from peoples’ scent, right? Of course I’m right, I can smell it as clear as anything and so can Jimmy and Dad and we actually all know this and talk about it all the time, and its why Dad never actually gets mad at you for talking about killing people because he can smell you’re saying it just cuz you’re used to saying it but really you’re too marshmallowy on the inside now to do half the stuff you claim you’re gonna do. Hate to break it to you bro, but you’re a closet softie and you’ve been made. The nose doesn’t lie. Only reason Laura doesn’t know it is because you piss her off like its your favorite hobby and its probably impossible for her to smell anything beyond her own scent of Royally Pissed Off.”

Ugh. Meddlesome insightful toddler. Who asked for her intervention anyway? Daken crosses his arms in a way that’s decidedly aloof and not at all sulking.

Laura’s staring at their sister assessingly. “That’s really what you think is going on? And Jimmy and Dad think so too? You’re not just saying all that?”

Gabby bats her eyes up at them. “Would I lie to you?”

“Yes,” Laura says without missing a beat.

“Without a shadow of a doubt,” Daken says dryly, right on her heels.

“For the sake of a candy bar,” Laura adds, because that really did happen.

“Or just boredom, because god forbid you pick up another hobby that isn’t just Chaos.”

“This from the guy who only has fun when there’s blood and bullets flying about,” Gabby fires back from a position of petite petulance.

Daken smirks down at her. “Didn’t you just say I don’t really mean it when I say all of that?”

Gabby narrows her eyes. “Touché. My own words thrown back at me. I am undone.”

“Yes, well - “

Daken’s cut off as Jimmy chooses that moment to walk past them down the hallway to the bathroom. He’s laughing and shaking his head.

“You guys are both so dumb. She plays you like this all the time, and you never see it.”

“Silence, mortal!” Gabby thunders at their brother menacingly. The effect is somewhat diminished by the fact that she can’t hit a baritone note to save her life.

“No, I’m interested in hearing what he has to say,” Daken says coolly. “For once. This is a moment without precedent and one unlikely to occur again, so let’s explore it a bit.”

Jimmy sighs and shakes his head without ever losing that amused smirk. “Had to tack on that last part, didn’t you. Just couldn’t help yourself.”

“I am a faithful student of the Truth,” Daken says, matching his brother smirk for smirk.

“The point, Jimmy?” Laura prods aggressively before that can erupt into a wholly separate thing she wants no part of.

“Oh, right.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Its kinda her thing with you two when you get like this. You pick a fight with Laura, Laura gets pissed off and succumbs to the family curse of Tunnel Vision at the Worst Possible Time, and you both go back and forth endlessly and like you have all the time in the world for your stupid tete a tete, because on account of you both being practically unkillable and immortal, you kinda do and you know it. And then whenever she gets bored of listening to you two, Gabby swoops in and draws both of your attention until you’re both so focused on being annoyed with her you don’t even realize you’re actually side by side agreeing with each other, and she keeps it up just long enough til she’s sure she can just say she’s bored now and just leave the room, leaving you both annoyed and frustrated by a fight you can’t even claim to have won because she really just kinda...left, in the middle of it, and you’re so focused on that, you’ve totally forgotten to be pissed at each other. And by the time you do remember, like, the moment has passed and peace has been returned to the kingdom. Or at least as peaceful as this place ever gets.”

Daken stares at his mistake of a brother in the hopes that if he stalled long enough, his senses would arrive at a different conclusion. But nope. Scents don’t lie, unlike baby sis, apparently. He’s telling the truth. And Daken really does not....care for that conclusion.

Gabby stamps her foot and glares up at their brother.

“You are such a tattletale. I am providing a service, by keeping this family free of these two constantly at each others throats, and how is that service repaid? With betrayal! I hate you, you’re dead to me. Never speak to me again or at least not until I’ve stopped being mad at you, but that could be like ten years or something, I don’t even know right now.”

She draws up to her full height and squares her shoulders as she thunders this Mighty Mouse style at the still laughing Jimmy. Then, seeing she’d yet to make a dent in his armor of amusement and he was failing to take her pronouncement seriously, she punctuated her declaration by spitting on their brother’s shoe. Daken’s eyebrows shoot up again, this time in amusement of his own. Gabby then spins around on her heel and stalks off down the hallway, muttering more dire threats under her breath as she goes, the sound of them nonetheless carrying clearly to three siblings with enhanced hearing of their own. And apparently, little sis could be quite creative. Who knew she’d been hiding such talent?

Jimmy barely even notices; he’s still staring down at his shoe.

“Dude, you spit on me! That’s so not cool.”

“Some things need to be expressed so strongly, mere words will not suffice,” Daken says loftily, savoring a slightly renewed sense of superiority.

One quickly dashed, of course, because apparently he just can’t have anything.

“Bold words from the seventy year old who needed the sixteen year old to clue him in he’s being regularly manipulated by the twelve year old,” Jimmy fires back. As a return volley, its obnoxiously effective, and Daken’s still grinding his teeth and searching for an adequate rejoinder as Jimmy just grins even wider and then strolls off down the hallway as well. Whistling either an absolutely hideous song or else proof that he’s absolutely hideous at whistling. Tough call. With him it could be either.

Daken and Laura both stare after him in silence as he rounds the corner and disappears, leaving only the lingering scent of smugness in his wake. Daken hates the scent of smugness. It has a particularly....cloying feel to it. Well not his of course. But everyone else’s, especially little brothers? Acrid is the only word adequate for that.

“Sometimes I really do want to stab him. Just a little bit. And I’m not even lying,” Daken says. Laura just nods, her own nose scrunched up in distaste as well.

“Honestly? Me too.”

Brother and sister enjoy the rare moment of solidarity.

“You know what’s really bugging me?” Laura says suddenly, still staring off down the hallway. Daken turns an inquiring eye on her, prompting elucidation. She frowns.

“Where the hell did he learn a phrase like tete a tete? I mean. Its Jimmy.”

Daken does know what she means, and frowns as the nagging awareness of that leaps from his sister to himself like memetic chain lightning.

“And he used it correctly. That’s....unexpected.”

“Sometimes I wonder if maybe he’s not as completely airheaded as he pretends, and the fact that he’s got everyone so convinced of that actually means he’s running circles around the rest of us,” Laura says. She shrugs. “Of course, then I have to question everything and who has that kind of time and also the very idea of genius mastermind Jimmy disturbs me on a deeply visceral level. So then I just. Stop doing that.”

Daken nods and sighs. “Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”

“Okay, this is annoying. I kinda still want to fight, but now fighting with you feels kinda anticlimactic. Ugh, siblings are the worst,” Laura declares with a glower. “They ruin everything.”

“On that, we can agree. With allowances for temporary occasions of some of them being bearable,” Daken says. “Some.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve never said to me, big brother,” Laura says lightly. Daken swiftly scowls but she holds up a hand to forestall any rebuttal. “Sorry, don’t mean to ruin the moment. I’m thinking about how else we can put all that frustrated energy to good use. Wanna go pick a fight with the Summers’ kids?”

A slow smile spreads across Daken’s face. “Well now. Finally, a family outing I can get behind. I believe that’s precisely what we need right now. Care to lead the way?”

He still hates her boyfriend, of course, but he supposes he can let that be.

For now, at least.

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ambersky-ocs · 4 years

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I really don't wanna draw some more but my kids are on my mind so OC Rambles

Also since whenever I mention I wanna ramble about Cinomed Chronicles y'all usually say/have said in the past you'd be glad to listen I hope you don't mind me tagging you in this: @surohsopsisofclouds @a-soul-among-the-stars

I mentioned recently Dani doesn't like mouth on mouth kisses

Taylor and Jeremiah take advantage of this and kiss him everywhere else and see which spots make him blush more

So far it's been his nose, his knuckles/palm, and the space between his wings

Dani is actually so much lighter than Jeremiah even though Jeremiah is t i n y

Most Dali are actually really lighter than Jeremiah, weighing between 60-80lbs

Also whenever I talk about my OCs as groups they go by these names usually : Angelic Trio = Taylor, Dani, Jeremiah ; OG Trio = Evanna, Marie, Leona

Taylor and Dani are around equal height but Taylor's much stronger than him

Taylor and Jeremiah do have powers but they need these special bracelets Jeremiah helps make that's infused with some magic from some Dali in order to actually use it

Their powers also all correlate with all of Angel's abilities. Angel's abilities encompass the most common abilities that Dali have(Weapon summoning, Barrier, and Healing)

Taylor = Barrier ; Jeremiah = Healing ; Dani = Weapon summoning

When the Angelic Trio met, Taylor and Jeremiah got along fine. But they really didn't like Dani and Dani really didn't like them

Dali don't trust humans all that much. Humans in this story are really fucking annoying sometimes

Taylor loves history, especially the history of Fahndali it's just,,,, retaining that info is what she really doesn't like doing cause it just won't stay in her head

So she has many notebooks stuffed under her bed in Tongyi that are crammed with as much info as she feels is necessary

Jeremiah loves the ocean and it's the only geographic thing he'll learn about

Dani is a huge nerd when it comes to mythology/folklore and loves how some/most stories incorporate history

He's very happy when Taylor and Jeremiah give him Greek, Norse, and Irish mythology books for his birthday one year and he talked about all he read to anyone who would listen

Everyone in the Angelic Trio loves cuddling but sometimes being around each other is too much, so they all have separate rooms in the castle

The first time Dani visits Earth, it's mid-winter in Arizona and he learns that he despises the cold

Taylor teases him for weeks after he was still complaining with a bunch of layers on

Leona is very small. She's probably a few inches taller than Jeremiah

She is also very very strong.

Leona and Taylor both really don't like wearing dresses

Dani honestly doesn't mind wearing dresses, he finds them really pretty and the looks on Taylor and Jeremiah's faces are amazing whenever he chooses to wear one

They need a moment to let their minds start working again

Jeremiah has nicknames for them b o t h and it makes Taylor and Dani, who are both terrible at romance, just melt

Taylor once dated a cannibal; the rest of the Sydney family still teases her all the time about it

His name was Vic and in all honesty he wasn't the worst guy Taylor's gone out with

He's actually useful to the plot later in the story too, and has a girlfriend and kid. Taylor and Vic act like they usually did when they meet for the first time in y e a r s

Evanna has been proposed to by 11 different people throughout her life and rejected them all cause no one could get it into their heads that she wasn't interested in getting hitched to anyone

Before Erin got married, everyone in Tongyi honestly thought that he and Evanna would get together. Or that he'd at least be her consort so she'd have an heir

So much shock when that didn't happen

I really love Erin and Evanna's friendship, they can act like an old married couple or like newly weds when it comes to their banter and affection but they both know the other will never feel romantic feelings with the other

Also Erin's wife finds it really cute whenever she sees Erin kiss Evanna's forehead or cheek cause that's just What He Does

Kord, Marie's older brother, was a homophobic ass for awhile

But then he found out his wife was Pan and started to actually get educated on LGBTQ+ stuff and then apologized profusely to his sister for almost a year bc of how he acted

Also he was ready to kill a bitch once he found out Leona tried to kill Marie on multiple occasions

Leona does protect his daughter in the end tho so he reconsiders his opinion on Leona

Kord might be one of the only straight OCs I have

Vic considers himself Queer, Erin is Pan, Aki is Aro/Ace, Angel is Agender and Bi, Evanna is Aro/Ace, Serranidae is Lesbian, Leona's Lesbian, Marie is Bi, etc.

There might be one other straight girl(I don't have a name for her though) but she also might not be straight, still deciding

Oh, the elderly ladies of the Sydney family approve greatly of Dani and Jeremiah when they meet them. They keep hinting that they should all tie the knot

It also might be because if Taylor married Dani then it means she becomes part of the royal family but they don't actually say that

Aki is the only Cinomed that's gonna receive a redemption arc. He's gonna be the only one that lives

Really the only thing that changes about him is he stops performing experiments on humans, Dali, Werewolves, and dragons

I have only one OC whom I truly despise, and his name is Gideon Hayes and he's the exact type of human being that I would gladly punch and watch die a slow painful death

Actually wait there's two- Keegan Francis is the other for very similar but also very different reasons

Evanna and Leona both have very similar secrets- Leona's is a lot more dark and Evanna's is really really important towards the end of Cinomed Chronicles

I used to really hate Deathstriker, but looking at most of my antagonists she's really not the worst one

Don't get me wrong, she's still a shitty shitty human but Rikki, Gideon, Keegan, and Serranidae are all far worse. She's just a bit higher than Aki level of awful

I think I've mentioned this before but I don't remember- the Mays royal family(Evanna's family) is the only family of Dali to have red hair, so when Dani comes to rule Tongyi it's weird for everyone to see a member of the Mays family have brown hair

(Members not related by blood don't usually end up ruling unless they're the only family member left, however that means that their child has died and so has never really happened in the past)

Everyone just kinda accepts that Evanna adopted instead of having a blood heir, and they just have to accept that the Mays bloodline is coming to an end(or so they think) even though the family name will still remain in the family

Neva Sydney is actually part Dali, but no one is sure to what extent. Her soul-seeing ability seems to stem from that heritage

Human/Dali hybrids are crazy powerful and no one knows why, not even Aki when he tests on Neva(with permission)

Neva has a QPR with Nezu and a boy named Tyler when they're older

Taylor at one point in the story has 2 and 1/3 souls in her body, and it's bloody torture and she punches Aki when it's all over

Despite Aki being the main source of a lot of Taylor's problems she's the first to trust him and forgive him

Cinomeds are usually much taller than the average Dali(Dali are usually around 6.5 feet, Cinomeds being 7.5-9 feet) but Aki is actually pretty short, standing around 6 feet

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catboyfeli · 4 years

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even though i don’t identify as a cis girl anymore, i’m still so fucking passionate about atypical cishets? because god, back when i ided as a cis girl, i constantly felt like shit for my attraction to men being abnormal and more similar to gay men’s experiences.

people think being cishet is fitting into cisheteronormativity but? it’s not??? cishets who crossdress, present gnc or androgynous, behave gnc or androgynous, feel a disconnect from their gender due to not fitting into gender roles, relate more to the opposite sex, face misdirected homo/transphobia, take on the opposite gender role in society/relationships, etc. exist.

because like? gender isn’t just “oh i identify as my agab, being a male, so i fit into the male gender role” nor is it “oh i’m a masculine woman but i still fit perfectly into the female gender role despite how different my experiences are from most women”

i’m just so passionate about this and i wish it was a more well known issue. it makes me hate the hate towards straight and cis people in lgbtq spaces even more than i already did. i think maybe that’s also part of why so many young people id as nonbinary now, because being cishet is “wrong” and “easy” even though being queer at all would make you lgbtq, even if you’re not trans or sga/ssa.

i just wanna give gnc cishets all the love in the world because they fuckin deserve it and shouldn’t feel pressures to id as something they’re not to get ACTUAL support. gnc people experience things so differently from gender conforming people, and there’s no support for cishet ones and that saddens the hell out of me

just? imagine being a very feminine cishet man who gets bullied for ‘being gay’ and struggles to find a woman who’s open to dating him when he takes on the feminine role in a relationship? and presents and behaves femininely? maybe gets mistaken as a girl depending on how he presents? doesn’t relate to the typical ‘male’ experience? relates more to womanhood despite identifying as a man? imagine getting no support for this? imagine being treated the same as your oppressors even though they oppress you as well, just in different ways? imagine being shunned out of queer spaces despite being queer just b/c you’re not lgbt, even though lgbt and lgbtq aren’t the same thing?

i use men as an example since gnc women are a LITTLE more accepted than gnc men, but only a little bit.

...maybe i’m too empathetic. idk. maybe i’ll make a blog for it. idk. i just know how i felt when i identified as a cis girl, and how i still feel now due to my lingering connection with being female, and it’s so isolating and makes you fucking hate yourself. i mean, i was/am bi, but my attraction to men was just so atypical, meanwhile my attraction to women wasn’t, and it felt like i could never talk about it or else i was ‘actually straight uwu’ and no one would understand anyway. no one understands nOW what it’s like to be attracted exclusively to feminine, gnc, queer, etc. men and how different it is from being attracted to the average man, how different it is as a female to be attracted exclusively to those types of men (types who are usually gay and therefore not into you), esp when hetero attraction is shit on by the lgbtq community lol, even if that attraction doesn’t conform to the standard (which would be queer by definition, but y’know)

i just hate tumblr and lgbtq culture’s way of acting like hetero attraction and experiences are all the same and all fit into the cisheteronormative mold, cause lemme tell you, i would’ve fucking killed to have gotten some hetero content i could ACTUALLY relate to and enjoy, esp without people saying it’s “””lesser””” than gay content lol. oh and let’s not forget how i could never talk about this without people saying “shut up straightie you have tons of content” like :))) genuinely fuck you.

even now, i can’t help but wonder if i’m really nonbinary or just subconsciously started identifying as such to feel more valid in my experiences. is my dysphoria gender related or do i just feel a disconnect from my gender due to the things i listed above???

a m/f relationship doesn’t inherently conform to cisheteronormativity!! a m/f relationship can be queer and you genuinely cannot change my mind on that!! i want content of a very feminine gnc man dating a very mascuilne gnc girl!! like a ‘twink’ dating a ‘butch’ for example!! that’s all i want god dammit!!!!!! maybe they even get mistaken as a gay couple sometimes who knows!!! and if you don’t like me using the word queer then pretend i used atypical instead!! the point is that atypical cishets deserve!! pride and support!!! and REPRESENTATION!!

i dunno. if anyone actually read all this and wants to help out with a blog for some gnc support/positivity then let me know. it’d be geared towards cisgender people who experience atypical heterosexual attraction, but be for anyone gnc in the end. i’m just... very passionate about this. it’s one of the things i’m most passionate about due to my own experiences, and i don’t really feel comfortable in the lgbtq community due to all of this shit. i don’t like my experiences, feelings, and struggles being erased. i don’t like m/f relationships being seen as inherently cisheteronormative. i don’t like cishets being shit on. i don’t like there being no representation for queer/atypical m/f couples. i don’t like there being no support for these people when!! they deserve it!! and belong at pride just as much as anyone else!!!!

when i say straight people deserve pride, i’m not referring to your typical straight person. i’m referring to the different ones, the ones that don’t conform to binary gender norms, the ones that face misdirected homo/transphobia, the ones that are queer, the ones that give a big “fuck you” to cisheteronormativity. and no, this does not mean that i think a guy liking pink would be queer; that’s not what i’m saying at all. liking things that are girly is different from being gnc. liking baking and clothes designing is very different from being a man who navigates society and relationships differently due to not conforming to the ‘male’ gender role.

not conforming to gender roles and being nonbinary are different but similar and valid things. i just... yeah. i could go on for hours, but i won’t. i just hope maybe someone out there understands what i’m trying to say. i want to make a difference and end the idea that cishets all conform to cisheteronormativity and don’t belong at pride. because yeah, ofc your typical cishet doesn’t need pride, but atypical ones? they’re more than deserving of it. they deserve to be proud in a society that shits on them for not adhering to their strict standards of how a person is ‘supposed’ to be. maybe i can turn ‘atypical cishet’ into a term, idk. i just want atypical cishets and those who experience atypical hetero attraction to have a community. maybe i could make a blog like that, too?

god i spent over an hour typing this up you can tell i’m passionate about it esp considering no one’s gonna read it (and if they do, will just get mad probably lol)

#wren speaks #long post #vent #ignore #queer #queer word #q word

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newbi-ginning · 5 years

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The day I came out to Her

Gather round for a heartwarming tale about the day I came out to my wife that I was a bisexual man.

Seriously. It’s sweet. I wish more people were as lucky as I am.

Background... a few months ago, we had been talking about threesomes, and that working from my desire for her to be comfortable with her needs, I said it was ok with me if she wanted to try sex with another woman, without me present, or with me in another room, available for emotional support. I didn’t want her to be under any pressure to perform for me. I was also ok if we wanted to try an MMF threesome, as straight MMF play was something she had described to me in one of her fantasies.

You see... I had assumed, incorrectly, that she was bi-curious or bi-flexible based on some things she had said. And while she could absolutely understand where I misunderstood her, she said she didn’t have any desire to go down on another woman, any more than I had a desire to go down on any man. (Oh, how surprised I would be on that account!) She also wasn’t very comfortable with threesomes, but would think about it. She wasn’t saying no, just not yet.

We talked a bit more, mostly on the Kinsey scale, and while it isn’t perfect, it was good for our discussion. We both agreed that we were 0.5s. Put the right dick (for me) or pussy (for her) in front of us, and importantly, the right person attached to those parts, and either of us could probably go for it, if we had permission from the other. I wasn’t going to push it. If she didn’t have any interest, that was that. Unless consent was enthusiastic, we would stay right where we were.

I told her that I appreciated her honesty, and that I wasn’t hurt that the kind of MFF threesome I had fantasized about was not in our future, and reassured her that my wanting something was a lot different from needing something that she couldn’t give. I also said that it meant a lot that she hadn’t reacted negatively to my being on the edge of bisexuality, as it was much more socially acceptable to be a bi woman than a bi man. Of course, that itself was a mixed bag, due to the fetishization of bi women in the media. She didn’t care what was socially acceptable, though.

If our interests were swapped, bros would absolutely be trying to give me high fives and propositioning her or us for sex. Not as likely for what our future will hold now, but that is not acceptable either way.

Fast forward several months... I was watching Netflix’s GLOW, which is campy as hell, fun, but has a lot of sucker punches for those of us who lived through the 80s... and still see the holes left by those that didn’t survive.

***Spoilers for 3rd season of GLOW, which you honestly should have watched already, and for 1st and 2nd seasons, too, I suppose.***

There is this scene towards the end of the third season where Rhonda (stage name Britannica) tries to reignite the flame of her very convenient and very recent marriage to Bash (the producer of the women’s wrestling show), not through communication, but games and deception. She hires another wrestler’s boyfriend (also a gigolo/sex worker) to just be in their room to play the part of a hotel plumber, who is so very good with his hands, chatting and flirting when Bash comes back at the end of the day, which she expects to make him jealous enough to stop sexually neglecting her.

We know that Bash is pursued by men and women alike, that he has some homophobic responses to some of those men, and that his butler/best friend Florian has died from AIDS related pneumonia, so what happens next is not completely unexpected. How it progresses was.

Bash seems nonplussed (that glorious word that means both annoyed and not annoyed at the same time) by this, and suggests that Paul the Plumber kiss his wife, touch her, caress her. I liked how this was going, and really hoped it wasn’t going towards cuckoldry roleplay, as GLOW does tend to drop current buzzword topics into scripts, but I just don’t like that dynamic. No shade on those that do. Rhonda seems to melt at finally getting the affection she has been needing, despite being unsure where this is going.

The bedroom is where this is going, at Bash’s suggestion, where Bash and Paul make a Rhonda sandwhich. Both men kiss Rhonda... then each other... and then put their hands down each others very 80s underwear. Rhonda is a little confused, but she rolls with it as the scene ends.

Except, it wasn’t weird. Just surprising.

Moment of clarity.

I wanted Rhonda and/or Paul.

The story continues, and takes a very 80s turn, because this side of Bash scares him. He doesn’t want to die like Florian did. We don’t know if Bash is bi or gay at this point, and I’m not certain that Bash knows. I hope he develops as bi, and that he and Rhonda can have a good relationship, especially as the 80s progress and people better understand how to safely be themselves.

***Spoilers over***

The entire scene showed me something. I was bi. Like I said, moment of clarity. Couldn’t argue with that. A lot of stuff made sense.

I spent the next two weeks grappling with this (and my erection), read some, watched a couple youtube clips on what being bi meant, and watching a lot of bisexual male porn. Which I really liked. A lot. I fantasized about a lot of man on man fun, and how much fun it would be to share a man with Her. I read up on safer same sex.

And about a week ago, when She asked how my day had been, and mischievously asked if I wanted to share anything sexy with her. I decided that this was as good of an opening as I would have, and I didn’t want to hide this from her any longer than I needed to. It hadn’t gone away like previous urges had. It was fully formed and it was real.

So I said, “Maybe. Can we do facetime?”

Yeah. Facetime.

Maybe I hadn’t mentioned that I’m putting the finishing touches on our house before we sell it, and She is living in another city, since Her job there has already started? This might seem a bit fucked up, dropping a bomb like this on video chat instead of face to face, but I believed in us.

I told her that I had seen a really hot porn scene (the Glow connection had slipped my mind at this point), and followed it down a bit of a rabbit hole, and that this did not change anything about my commitment to her, but the scene included two guys fooling around. And I had realized that I was bisexual.

I hadn’t done anything, but that didn’t matter. Bisexuality is about attraction and desire, not actions. A gay person can be a virgin, and if I never have sex with another guy, I’m still bisexual.

She said that was fine. She loved me, and this didn’t change that. We were strong, and that she accepted me unconditionally

Yeah. She really is that wonderful. I had expected that result, but after about an hour of discussion, not instantly.

I continued to say that watching a guy suck another guy’s dick was really hot, and -

She interjected, “Well, yeah! Of course it is!”

I knew that there were a couple bi MMF scenes she had talked about being really sexy in various shows she had watched, Sense8 was one, and that she occasionally watched gay porn, and liked it. I just didn’t realize that she thought gay porn could be as hot as I thought lesbian porn could be (and yes, we both realize how problematic it is to consume porn that reduces wlw to entertainment for men, or mlm for women).

Checking to make sure that I hadn’t lost my teeth, I continued.

I wanted to try giving oral to another man, but not without her permission, as safely as possible, and preferably with her present for emotional support and/or even to join in to whatever extent she was comfortable with.

She said that she definitely wanted to talk more about it, and that this conversation needed to be truly face to face, but that she would support me, and wanted me to be fulfilled as a person. Until then, I was expected to keep my hands, mouth, and dick to myself. She did say that with love in her voice, but we understood each other. It would hurt her if I went outside our relationship without talking about it.

And then she said, “Love is love.”

We have talked for hours every day since (so nothing has changed there), and the day that we list the house is getting closer. She says that I’m sounding happier, more confident, and she loves hearing what I’m learning about myself. She has started looking for support groups for spouses of bi people in our new city, and promptly rejected the Straight Spouse Network as coming across as way too toxic and fatalistic from its website. She wants this to work, and I do to.

And we will.

I’m not just with someone that I want to be with more than all the other women in the world.

I want to be with her more than everyone else, man, woman, or GNC person.

I know that not everyone will have a first coming out as positive as this, but we hear about bad ones, and my fellow bisexuals are more likely to be in the closet than most other parts of the rainbow, and have higher rates of mental illness and self harm than gay and lesbian people. The closet is a coffin for us, too. Being as out as you safely can be will show people that biphobia is just as groundless as homophobia.

I’m not ready to be completely out. That will happen with time. But there are people that are at the top of my list. She wants to be with me as I begin that process, in case anything doesn’t go well. I’m strong, but sometimes a bit delicate.

We still won’t be welcome in many circles, especially conservative and religious ones. And some LG parts of the LGBTQ+ family will still push us away, and I’ll never tell someone that doesn’t feel safe around men that they have to put up with me in their space (I’ll go stand somewhere else, but I AM coming to community events that are open to bi people).

I’m as much a part of the larger community as they are, and for each of us that is out, it makes it safer for others to be out. It shows we are trustworthy. We aren’t dangerous. We aren’t any more likely to cheat than straight people are. We aren’t spreading STIs. We just see more potential partners in the world than they might. This difference is part of life.

Viva la difference!

#bisexual #bisexual visibility #bi mental health #bi stereotypes #coming out #biphobia #happy ending #bi and proud #bi and happy #mixed orientation relationship #bi husband #straight wife #love is love

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