#fucking hell ​am i ever going to feel comfortable in my own body?

[nekropsii]

i think theres a really big issue in the community specifically surrounding the people who headcanon dave as some sort of trans where both sides of the coin seem to hate each other? like both sides are at fault here, ive seen blogs demeaning people who like transmasc dave and then like you said other people just completely disregarding transfem dave. guys. can we stop. let people headcanon what they want without blatantly attacking them, this goes for all parties in this issue. i dont get why people act like this. the fuck happened to all trans people being equal and then we get both transmisoginy and harassment of people liking either of the trans headcanons?

jesus man. im tired of it

Respectfully, I do not think this is a “Both Sides” situation.

The concept of transmasc Dave is objectively one of the most popular headcanons in the Homestuck fandom, and it has been for years. I think I can excuse people who headcanon transfem Dave for “hating it”, because as I have been trying to fucking say this entire time, people keep correcting me on my own posts about transfem Dave on my own blog, and belittling me for thinking this way. And since I’ve asked people to maybe interrogate why they feel the need to correct me and patronize me and to stop fucking doing that, I’ve been getting inundated with people trying to mansplain and traumadump to me how me saying to not correct me and patronize me for having a transfem headcanon is oppressing them and that trans men also have it bad, as if I literally ever insinuated that they do not have it tough.

You do not get to “Both Sides” me on a discussion about my experience when I have never - and I mean NEVER - received this level of heat for headcanoning a character as literally anything else. I have NEVER gotten “corrected” for headcanoning a character as gay, or transmasculine, or black, or a lesbian - only now, when I headcanon a character as a trans woman, am I getting people correcting me, condescending me, telling me some really fucking personal traumas to explain to me I’m “in the wrong” for being upset about the correction and condescension, very obviously making assumptions about my sex, gender, and what I’ve been through in my life, making negative assumptions about my intelligence, and putting a fuck ton of words in my mouth.

I am speaking from my own experience here. I am sorry if that hurts anyone’s feelings, but that much cannot be taken from me. From my experience, this is not “Both Sides”, this is very clearly one side with far greater numbers giving another flack for not assimilating, and when that other side tries to say what’s going on, they’re treated as an aggressor, and treated like a petulant idiot child.

Before anyone puts any more words in my god damn mouth:

I literally never said no one could HC Dave as transmasculine, or that they were wrong for thinking that way. I have outright said the opposite, that it is fine and that I do not care. HOWEVER, I sure as hell am experiencing people telling me that I am wrong for HCing her as a woman.

I literally never, and I mean NEVER, said or insinuated that trans men do not suffer, especially under the patriarchy. I am not an idiot, I know how the patriarchy works, it hurts literally everyone that doesn’t conform to an incredibly, incredibly narrow white non-queer cishetero male ideal. I am also not an idiot, I know that transphobia will exist no matter what you identify as, and it will suck absolute horseshit. Neither “side” has it “easy”, every type of transphobia has an uncomfortably, terrifyingly high body count. I never fucking said trans men do not have it hard. Stop putting those words in my mouth.

Literally all I said was that it’s fucking weird that I’ve never been treated this way until I headcanoned a character as a trans woman, and maybe to interrogate that because people sure seem comfortable acting this way, and that-

This is Transmisogyny.

And if there’s anything else I’ve learned from this, it’s that-

HIT DOGS HOLLER.

#homestuck #cw transphobia #cw transmisogyny #nekro.sms

[lockhartandlych]

told my mom i'm developing a widow's peak and she laughed, saying "yeah, it runs in the family among the men."

jesus christ with that and the neckbeard i really am intersex arent i

#slightly terrified #being intersex isn't bad i know that #but it's such a different foundation on which to view myself #that's probably hypocritical coming from a proud tumblr genderfag boydyke kind of person #but i just. idk. it explains everything about what i've been through and what im still going through #i've had other trans men compliment me on how T is treating me #im not on T yet #i've been gendered as female in public yet been told i need to shave my face #and yet i've been gendered as male when wearing makeup #it's so strange #my existence is increasingly becoming foreign to the cis experience even though im not even on hormones yet #and in a way it's always been foreign #both in the trans way and in the 'i have a ton of body hair and acne at age ten' way #im usually all like 'yeah! fuck the gender binary! destroy expectations! down with cis!' #and also like. im a trans guy. i should want this and in a way i really really do #idk why my brain is being like this about it #fucking hell ​am i ever going to feel comfortable in my own body?

[sunsetsimon]

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

mentions of ptsd, abuse, torture, touch aversion, nightmares

always remember, you are loved and cared for. reach out if you need help, i am always here to provide resources. you are not alone, do not go through this alone.

─────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────

☼ jealousy. it wasn't a feeling that simon felt often, and not in the ways most people experienced it, he could care less about any materialistic items. his jealousy would stir in his stomach when he saw people doing to them - normal things. a hug goodbye, holding hands, it was all foreign to him.

he's used to a playful punch from soap or a pat on the shoulder from price, but he never initiates. when you first get together, he's uncomfortable with physical affection and will often unintentionally shut you down. your hand will reach for his but he doesn't move, not even noticing you attempting to touch him. he won't hug you before he leaves, only giving a nod and heading out.

he knows it hurts you but it's hard.

slowly he works on it, giving a loving squeeze and reaching for your hand, but it's a long process before it becomes an unconscious habit.

☼ simon doesn't sleep much to begin with, but when it gets bad, he starts to have nightmares almost every night. they're intense, seeming to last forever, as if he'd lived days in the dream. his sleepy mumbling will turn into physical reactions, his body starting to twitch, fists clenching so hard his knuckles turn white. gasping awake he shoots up, his hand immediately on his gun and ready for combat. he's sweaty, heart beating so fast it seemed like it'd jump out of his chest.

"you okay, si?" you whisper from beside him, snapping him back to reality. simon takes a deep breath, setting his pistol back down on the nightstand, unable to speak. immediately you recognize it was another nightmare, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his back. his head drops into his hands, needing to take time to relearn what his reality is; he's home, he's with you.

but fuck, why doesn't it feel that way then? why is he haunted every time he closes his eyes?

"'m so tired," he mumbles, fighting back tears of frustration and pain, trying not to question what he did to deserve this hell he calls his own mind.

"i know si... i wish i could take it all away," you attempt to comfort him, but know that nothing you do could help him right now, he just needs time. he gives your arm a pat before standing up, leaving to take time for himself. you hear his footsteps trail down the stairs and a door open, simon deciding to retreat to the garage for the next few hours until he feels okay again.

☼ he wouldn’t ever tell you what actually happened to him, just making vague comments here and there when the opportunity arises. he's scared to talk about it, not wanting to remember anything or try to process it.

your soft fingers trail along the pale scars littered across his skin, wondering what must've happened to him, all the pain he's been through. you stop at a small one on his left wrist, "how'd you get this one?"

"my dad was a piece of shit," and he leaves it at that. you don't push any further, accepting the curt answer with a nod. you softly kiss the scar, beautiful eyes flickering to his. it's things like this that slowly heal him, and instead of thinking of the pain that came with each scar, he thinks of your lips kissing each one as if that'd make it all better. you make it all better.

#im so sad i love him so much #also on my period so feeling even worse #.wbm #cod x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #angst

[thecuriousquest]

Princess (Daddy Loves You Part One)

Yan!Step Dad Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @murderofravens

Warnings: Yandere themes, NSFW, spanking, guns mentioned, praise kink, Daddy kink, consensual vaginal sex, hair pulling, all characters are 18+

Master List

Part Two

My Ask Box is currently closed while I catch up on requests. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

—————————————————————————

Yan!Step Dad Toji who wears those tight black boxer briefs and an open robe while drinking coffee on the front porch.

Toji doesn’t get mad at you over much. He lets you dress how you want, doesn’t really care if you come home past curfew. Hell, he doesn’t even give a fuck if you’re dating.

Just as long as he can’t see you, his precious princess, with the guy, but that’s where you fucked up because why would you think there’s a problem? He never told you that you couldn’t bring boys over, never told you that you couldn’t date.

Why is this an issue? Because Daddy wants to make it an issue. Daddy’s been craving the perfect reason to punish his princess. He didn’t want to come off as a jerk and be the strictest father ever imaginable. Oh no. He wanted you to dote on him, he wanted to build a solid foundation and a great relationship with you before he showed off his darker nature.

He catches you on the couch watching tv with some guy in your class. A guy with no brawn and probably too much brain for his own good. He catches the dude with a hand on your knee, mindlessly thumbing the ripped fabric of your jeans.

Toji knows what he’s thinking about.

“Kid, get your hand off of her and get the fuck out.”

Both heads snap at Toji. Your eyes are like an owl. His mouth is parted slightly, forming the question “why”.

They weren’t doing anything wrong.

To Toji, you two were doing everything wrong. He can no longer live in his little fantasy about you being just his. He’s not sharing you. He’s not going to share his princess with anyone.

“I said-“ Toji starts as he puts the coffee down and removes his gun from the waistband of his boxer briefs. “Get your hand off of her-“ click goes the safety. Soon to follow, he cocks the weapon, “And get the fuck out. Or are ya heard of hearin’?”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him run that fast in his life, and you’re about to run just as fast to your room when his arm shoots out and grabs you by the hair.

“Princess, Daddy’s real disappointed in ya. Gonna hafta punish ya real bad.”

You’re belly-down on the couch in an instant, your ass jiggling in those tight jeans with each spank from his large paw. You whine and writhe, but his knee on the middle of your back holds you still.

You can’t see the scar on his lip quirking up as he really lays into you, flaying your bottom a nice cherry red. He tugs your jeans down, giving you the real what-for a few more times on your bare ass just to really let the lesson sink in.

Toji flips you over on your back, pointing a finger in your face. “Never again, am I understood? I never wanna see ya with any fuckin’ creeps around here again. Ya got me?”

You blink up at him through bleary eyes, nodding to his stern command.

“You…you spanked me?” You can’t help but question. He’s never done anything like that before.

He drops his finger and stands up, jacked body on full display with his revealing robe.

“Yeah, and I’ll fuckin’ do it again if I see you disobeyin’ me or some shit.”

He sits down on the couch, man spreading, and pulls you in close to his side. You wriggle around, trying to get your jeans back over your hips. When you finally do, you rest comfortably against your step dad.

You honestly don’t know how to feel about him punishing you, but you can’t help squirming as you try to relive a tiny tingling feeling in your clit. Toji attempts to ignore you at first, but he finally breaks and puts you on his lap.

“Fuck,” he huffs, unable to bear it anymore.

You can feel his hard on poking your thigh as your hips wriggle.

“Ya really like gettin’ spanked that much? Like havin’ yer ass beat by a guy who’s stronger than ya?”

He chides and tsks, making that buzzing between your legs grow even further as he lets you break down right in front of him.

Adverting your eyes, you lean into the crook of his neck, mumbling against sensitive flesh, “Only when it’s you.”

You didn’t realize just how strong he actually is because he rips your jeans off of you. They’re tattered heaps of fabric by the time he’s done freeing you of your denim cage. He cups the fat of your swollen cheeks, fingers digging into beaten flesh as he spreads them.

You busy yourself with working his cock free from his boxer briefs while hovering over him, and your step father can’t help but laugh as he watches you struggle. But you’re determined, and somehow, with him sitting down and you trying straddle his lap, you get the damned thing off of him.

He plants you right on his fat mushroom tip, a little pearl of pre coating the head. You throw your head back, crying out for your daddy as he praises you for being so fucking tight.

“Knew ya were a good girl for Daddy. Always such a good fuckin’ girl.”

He really wants to see you bounce on his cock with your tits free, and Toji gets what he wants. You’re not surprised when he rips your shirt and bra completely from your body with one tug. It’s like an effortless motion for him. All nice and naked, he buries his face in your chest while squeezing the dough of your round bottom.

Up and down, up and down, your thighs soon grow tired as you learn of this man’s stamina.

Not liking you slowing your pace, he slaps your ass to get you moving. You yip, bucking your hips into him as you try and steady your breath. But as soon as you relax, your quaking thighs can’t help but start to seek out a more stress relieving position.

Toji, tired of how long this is taking, flips you on your slightly bruised rear. He fucks into you on the couch, thumping between your plush thighs.

“There’s an angel face. So fuckin’ pretty,” he compliments while brushing your locks back.

He slams his cock deep into you, making your pussy feel so cute and small. You end up gushing all over his cock like a sensitive little bunny, and Toji praises you for coming all over him.

“I really lucked out with you, huh?”

Soon after, Toji floods your pussy with his own. The show on the tv has changed to something else as he adjusts his boxer briefs and settles back down next to you.

“Clean all this up and change before your mom and Megumi get home.”

He smacks you on your ass to get you going, and you don’t want to refuse because you’re such a good girl.

“Yes, Daddy,” you tell him as you hurry to obey.

After this, Toji’s definitely going to have to start implementing more spankings into your life.

#triggering content #triggering themes #yandere themes #yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #yandere toji fushiguro #yandere toji x reader #yandere toji #jjk toji #toji zenin #toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji x y/n #jujutsu toji #dilf toji #toji x reader

[kissesfrombangtanatnight]

Pillow Talk: Jimmy Uso

AN I do not own the image in this image.

You lied in your husbands muscular arms feeling so loved and secure. He lied beside you kissing along your collarbone ever so gently.

"Look, if you think you're about to sweet talk your way into round three, you're wrong. I'm tired as hell and sore. Nobody told you to be going that damn hard." You say playfully hitting his arm. He looks down smirking at you.

"If I remember correctly, you were yelling out daddy, fuck me harder! right there! ahh! just a few moments ago." He says imitating your high pitched moans.

"Boy shut uppp." You say hiding your face in his chest as if this weren't y'alls umpteenth time having sex. But, every time felt so different with him. He knew your body and needs like the back of his hand. Your man was ready to do whatever, whenever, however to your body, all you had to do was give him the green light. "But seriously babe, I don't think I'm gonna make it to work in the morning." You groan.

"If I don't have that thang sore, I ain't doin my job. Besides, you were gonna call in sick anyway. I did you a favor." You playfully roll your eyes though he can't see in the dimly lit room. A comfortable silence falls between you to as you trace the tattoos on his lower arm.

"Baby, you remember how we met?" He asks suddenly, caressing your hip. You think back to the time you and Jimmy met twelve years ago.

"How can I forget. You came up to me talkin bout some you're gonna be my wife. Boy you just don't know you almost got your ass slapped. No, for real, you was about to have me kill your future generations with one damn kick between your legs." You say looking up at him as he laughs.

"So am I wrong for speaking it into existence? You're right here aren't you? I knew I had you the minute I walked up. You were then one, I had to let you know." He smiles that beautiful smile of his.

"I'm just saying, can't be saying shit like that these days. Have you six feet under."

"But seriously though, I'm glad I did. We've come a long way. It hasn't always been easy and I know there were plenty of times we both could've walked away, but we didn't. What we've built these past decade can't be broken. I love you so much. You're my world, aside from my kids. I love you. I love you. I love you." He says in between kisses.

"I love you more than you know. I've never felt love like this. Like, I found everything I every wanted and needed in a husband in you. And one day, everything I need in the father of my children. I got you no matter what, and you don't have to doubt that. Good or bad, thick or thin, know that I'll be right there." You say sincerely kissing his smiling lips. You pull him closer, tangling your hand in the nap of his neck. His beautiful hair falling down his face. Your tongue explored each others mouths as you let out soft whimpers. He's already hard again and your wetness is making your thighs slippery. If the mood couldn't have been more set, it began to rain outside.

"Speaking of. You make me wanna get you pregnant." He groans. You watch as he pulls away momentarily to get off the bed. You already knew what that meant. You turn around on your stomach and position yourself for him. Before you can even do it yourself, he grabs you by your ankles and pulls you to the end of the bed. He teases your wet entrance with his tip as you look back biting your lip in anticipation.

"Ready for me baby?" He asks pushing his tip into you causing you to gasp.

'Hell yeah, put that fuckin baby inside me." You beg. Nothing more needed to be said as he guides himself into you slowly. "Fuck baby." You hiss gripping on the sheets tightly as your man stretches you out.

"Say less baby because I'm about to make sure nothing spills out." He smirks knowing this was going to be a very, very long night for you.

#wwe smut #the bloodline #jimmy uso smut #jimmy uso x black reader #jimmy uso x reader #jimmy uso imagine #wwe bloodline #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #jimmy uso #jimmy uso fanfiction #wwe x reader

[chapst1ckmcdyke]

So ive had this saved in my drafts for a while now- but theres a point id like to make about butch/femme identity and expression and think this is ready despite the crap i might catch for it

On my days off and when i go out for fun, lots of times i look like this vvv

And other times, especially because im a blue collar dyke, i look like this vvv

The thing that both these photos have in common is that, regardless of how i may appear, i am a femme lesbian. I am not magically butch at work just because i have to wear jeans and work boots for safety. On the clock I am often mistaken for a man and harassed for using the women’s bathroom, people call me sir and damn near keel over trying to correct themselves. I understand that people will look at me as masculine because im in a mans trade.

And yet im still a femme!

You know why? Because being femme is not about how i dress or how long my hair is or the job i work or the body im in, but who i am, how i love, and how i want to be loved back. Its my reclamation of my gender and sexuality and romantic life.

Theres this idea that femme lesbians are “the girl” lesbians and butches are “the boy” lesbians. Femmes are stereotyped as straight passing hyper feminine (and often times cis) girls. But if youve ever met a femme thats not always (in my experience- USUALLY) the case. We often are nonbinary (hi! Also me!) and/or gender nonconforming even in our femininity- taking the things that cishet society hates the most in women (ie body hair/body fat/masculine jobs/deep booming voices- etc) and owning those characteristics in ways that make us feel free and most like femmes 💕

I personally feel most comfortable being feminine off the clock and covering myself in glitter and being a tacky fat furry muppet because its how i feel best recognized by the butches i adore so much! But i get to reclaim womanhood or whatever adjacent, gender-fucked, lesbiany, thing ive got going on, and that doesn’t change when i wear jeans and work boots.

Femmes get to be whatever the hell we want- being broad shouldered and deep voiced and fat and furry and in a trade are not traits that magically make me incapable of being femme- and im over this whole ordeal where y’all assign butches and femmes as either “the boy” or “the girl” of the relationship and expect us to be exclusively feminine or masculine and never cross or mix- just recreating useless gender roles that we have zero reason to uphold.

(And this goes the absolute same for butches/studs who express feminine traits and DOUBLE for trans butches/studs/femmes)

#butch/femme #femme lesbian #gnc femme #gnc femme lesbian #butch #femme #nb lesbian #lesbian #dyke #femme4butch #butch4femme #this whole post has been brought to you by- #the fact that me existing in my body makes people scratch their heads and assign me labels based off their perception #im t i r e d

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Love really bites

[a small vuzi snippet uwu yall liked the oil exchange with nuzi so you get this too >:3 ]

V and Uzi were sitting criss-cross in front of each other, feeling awkward but still looking determined- they wanted to try exchanging oil for V, since Uzi already did it often with N; but while they lean in slowly, V takes a peak and sees Uzi with visor eyes shut and looking stressed, her bottom jaw clattering softly for a moment as her body shakes lightly- V feels a slight pang of guilt and and scoffs "ugh" pushing Uzi back slightly "look I'm not doing this when you're so obviously terrified-"

"wh- i am NOT-!" she crossed her arms, looking away, a slight blush visible on her visor- "besides- don't you LIKE teasing and scaring me-

V rolls her eyes- also crossing her arms "uh- yeeeah. I like playing with my FOOD- not-!…..not you….." both of them pause momentarily at this small confession- "…. you're… more than that… I guess…" Uzi softly peaks at V as the other turns away blushing severely.

V suddenly shook her head "UGH never mind-!! this was stupid anyway-! ill just go find real food-"

"H-Hey wAIT!" before she knew what she was doing, Uzi had jumped and grabbed Vs arm as the taller drone stood up- so now they are both standing and staring at one another and Uzis hold on Vs arm with lots of blushing lines. Uzi looks away slightly "I uh…. we can try again if... if you want?…"

V's optics hallowed and she felt heat rising in her core- the fuck are these feelings ugh- no wonder Uzi hates that she's been programmed with them- "o-okay fine- since you insist- lets just get this over with then-"

Uzi lines their bodies so that they'd be standing and pressing against each other slightly and they both tried leaning in again slowly with closed eyes-

-when suddenly Uzi yelps as she is hoisted up on Vs arms "V! what the hell-!?"

V smirks up at her "sorry shorty, if I wanna get that oil I need gravity to slide it down your throat into mine-" she licks her fangs momentarily as her 5 real eyes pulsed slightly brighter with sparks which made Uzi blush even more- feeling slightly turned on at the display- she felt like V was gonna eat her alive and somehow she was fine with that-..............shOO BE GONE THOUGHTS-

Uzi shook her head "F- fine! ugh bite me-"

"be careful what you wish for~"

Uzi grumbles as V smirks wildly at her but instead of retorting with a snarky answer she lightly holds Vs cheeks and leans in again, her eyes fluttering closed as Vs smirk fades into a nervous frown and she swallows nervously as her hold tightens a little on the other drones back-

it starts with a peck and then they press their lips against each other more firmly, tilting their heads ever so slightly- and both of their frowns disappeared softly as they got more comfortable. Uzi's hands and fingers move from V's face and neck to threading and curling around in her hair and V purrs lightly at the small tugs.

slowly V pries open Uzis mouth a bit more with her tongue as she laps at the oil shared with her from against Uzis tongue and lips, making some run away drops slide past their mouths towards their chins.

V was surprised at how much more calming and energizing this felt; not particularly her style of work but…. she thinks that she could definitely get used to this… maybe... but then Uzi momentarily makes a small surprised sound that made V grip on her a little tighter subconsciously. Uzi presses slightly back against V's tongue with her own and her soft mewls fueled V in other ways-

Fuck her noises were almost as tasty as her oil, V thought momentarily before she caught herself-

They both part with a small gasp, swallowing whatever was left in their mouths and V had a few seconds to admire Uzi's light headed state from losing her oil before she blinked, slightly shaking herself out of it, blushing-

she put Uzi down a bit faster than intended but made sure she doesn't fall over- looking away and blushing, with Uzi doing the same- panting a little to get some chill air to her rapidly heating circuitry.

V thinks of what to say really cuz that was... certainly an experience she had.... "Uh yeah soo- thanks or whatever- that was.. definitely pretty boring to be honest, I can see why you'd like to do it all day with doodle boy over there-" she crosses her arms again looking away as she coughs lightly in her fist- blush lines being repressed but still visible-

Uzi blushes at the comment of her and N exchanging Oil- though she was hoping V didn't notice when they had parted Uzi was zoomed in on V's fangs and almost wanted her to ACTUALLY bite her like dear robo christ on a jet fueled scooter-

she ends up looking away too at V's words, blush painfully obvious "you're WELCOME for not letting you starve or whatever-! not like i care or anything hmph-"

they both stay like that looking away for a while… when Uzi notices V's tail wagging slightly behind her... oh.

"….b-but if you wanted any more… well uhh- you know where to find me I guess... ykNOW-! CUZ- it'd be a drag if we had to constantly deal with you over heating and stuff- y-yeah- that-!" she explains with a slight panic and waving her hands around

V looked at her with hollowed eyes and blushes as her tail twisted around her leg to keep it from wagging more- "um.. y-yeah totally sure- whatever- doubt ill NEED it tho- she slightly looks away, her finger playing with a strand of her own hair-

suddenly there was a sound of a loud clang and they both look at N jumping in the pod giddily with a loud "im baaack-!"

they both turn towards him looking gobsmacked with blushes and N had a moment of pausing and looking at Vs slightly ruffled hair and the two of them wiping the oil dripping from their mouth and chins-

N's expression turned into a deadpan one- "I leave for like…. 5 MINUTES… and you guys are making out without me??? >:( "

#murder drones #vuzi #violetviolence #implied nuzi? #nuzi #biscuitbites #violentbitingbiscuits #envuzi #nuvi #n x uzi x v #serial designation n #serial designation v #uzi doorman #these ship names are gonna kill me man smh #snowballflo #N wants kisses too #keebokun gets early access to my work sorry XD

[peachsukii]

Hollow Heart { chapter 3 - choke }

『♡』 pro-hero fem!reader x pro-hero bakugo ╰➤ ꒰ pro-heroes au | friends to lovers ꒱ ♡ katsuki bakugo masterlist ♡

summary: you have zero clue where you are after your abduction. white walls, medical instruments, the smell of rust, and hazy memories are all that keep you company during your time in the mystery lab. the horrors that lurk between these steel walls are going to give you nightmares for an eternity. all you can think about is getting home to your best friends and family, back to the life you sorely missed. tags & warnings: mentions of blood/violence, eventual & mild smut, kidnapping/abduction, experimentation, physical & psychological torture, PTSD, implied/referenced self harm, cursing, talks of trauma | angst with happy ending, emotional hurt/comfort, regret, mutual pining, friends to lovers, insomnia, eventual romance a/n: To all of you who have stopped to read this fic, thank you so much! This was my jump back into writing after almost a decade. I appreciate every single one of you!! ꒰ Ao3 version | word count; 13,885k as of ch.3 ꒱ Main Post Chapter 1 | Hurricane [5,092k] Chapter 2 | The Ghost of You [4,799k] Chapter 3 | Choke [3,995k] Chapter 4 | The Grey Chapter 5 | The Good Left Undone Chapter 6 | Tourniquet Chapter 7 | There is Fear in Letting Go 『♡』 this fic has a playlist! ✩

CHAPTER THREE: CHOKE

Day One (?)

Metallic rust.

That's all you could taste when you awoke from your drugged slumber, the world stuck in a haze as you hummed in discontent. 

Where the hell am I?

The thought muddled in your head as you attempted to gauge your surroundings. The numbness in your limbs from earlier had been replaced with a new sensation - your body feeling too heavy for your bones to carry. 

Did someone strap a weight to your shoulders and ankles? 

You rotate your head sluggishly to see an all white and gray room, one singular door directly ahead of where you sat. There's a metal table in the corner with a few machines - you can't seem to determine what their purposes are. On your left, a surgical instruments table sits ominously, a few bloody bandages and an empty syringe splayed across it.

There's a sudden pulse in your head that rattles your brain, the train of thought you had derailing instantly. Glimpses of memories begin to spark in your mind - Bakugo's anguished expression as you drifted out of consciousness, an unknown number of hands removing your hero suit and belongings, cold steel of an operating table touching your bare skin, the ungodly amount of poking and prodding of your delicate skin with needles of all shapes and sizes, and a glass enclosure.

How are you remembering all of this if you weren't even conscious for the majority of it?

As if to answer your silent question, a doctor enters the room - what you presume is a doctor, anyways, by the looks of his white surgeon coat and stethoscope around his neck. 

"Good morning. Would you prefer the use of your hero name or first name?" He asks, paging through the file on his clipboard.

What the fuck?

"Uhh...hero name?" you slur as you answer, voice cracking with exhaustion. You're not able to think straight in the moment and have zero adrenaline to be combative. 

"Noted. How are you feeling?" His tone is dry, like every other doctor you've met in your life.

"Shitty."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Can you elaborate?"

God, this is so annoying. Why the hell are you being interrogated?

"M'everything feels...funny. Heavy but also...fuzzy?"

He scribbles down notes on a few different pages, flipping back and forth through the stack on his clipboard. 

"Is it my turn t'ask a question?" you quip, snickering at your own request. 

He approaches you hastily and slaps the ever-loving shit out of you. You let out a sharp yelp, the sting of his palm radiating on your cheek. 

"Subjects only speak when spoken to."

A chill runs down your spine when he uses the term "subjects." Just how many of you are there?

"Return her to containment," he orders, signaling to someone behind you before turning to exit the room. Another man enters as the doctor leaves, dressed in white scrubs with mint green latex gloves. He approaches you, latching a pair of handcuffs around your wrists while turning off a device nearby.

"C'mon, move it," he scolds as he yanks on the chain of the handcuffs. You stumble forward to your feet, wobbling on jelly legs as he's dragging you behind him. Looking down, your wrists were littered with bruises in varying shades of yellow, purple and green. Had they cuffed you earlier and roughhoused you? A few raw spots on your arm lead you to believe they had taken blood from you at some point, too. You have zero inclination to how long you've even been wherever the hell you are - anything is possible.

The mystery worker drags you down multiple corridors of dimly lit metal hallways and various steel lacing the walls. There were no windows in sight as you maneuvered your way around the labyrinth of never-ending laboratories, holding cells and various medical exam rooms. He stops in front of a frosted glass cell, swiping a keycard in front of the mechanism on the door. It opens with a high pitched beep and he pushes you inside, whipping you around by the shoulders to face him. He undoes your restraints before slamming the glass door shut, locking it with another beep of the keycard. 

With the silence comes the realization of your current predicament, crashing down around you like a tidal wave. It's intense, the surge of emotion that cascades through your entire body as if someone flipped a switch inside you. 

One lingering thought pulls at your heartstrings - Bakugo's face as you slipped away from him, his panic and desperation as he failed to save you.

And to top it all off, you told him you loved him. 

In the heat of the moment, it felt right. But now? It feels selfish. You admitted your feelings just in time for them to be ripped away from him. You don't even know if you're going to see him ever again. What if you die down here?

Oh. 

What if you die down here?

Alone and scared.

Away from your family, friends...Katsuki, your best friend - the secret love of your life. 

You never got to kiss him, properly express your affection for him - the experience was stolen away from you.

You're left to your own devices inside an unknown cell, blubbering on the tiny cot in the corner, frustration burning in your chest as you're heaving sob after sob. It triggers something in you never felt before - an unfamiliar violent rage. Launching up from the cot, you snivel as you face the wall and punch it with all the energy you can gather. 

"Fuck!" You wail, failing to recollect the memory that your still under the effect of the quirk suppressant. The sound of your knuckles smashing against the steel wall reverbs as it sends lightning bolts of pain up your arm, dissolving as the adrenaline makes its way through your entire being.

And then something terrifying stirs in your guts as the blood drips from your knuckles onto the floor.

The pain was satisfying.

Day Nine

Days have passed, that much you knew, but how many? That answer remained unclear, no matter how many times you begged various workers around the compound. No one ever answered you with words, just violence. You’ve lost count how many times you’ve been slapped, kicked, and pushed around for engaging in minimal conversation. There’s other prisoners here, too, but no one is allowed to communicate. You see each other sometimes in the hallways but never long enough to speak, even if you wanted to. It was like everyone was a ghost, all haunting the same burial ground.

Shockingly enough, they keep you fed and allowed one shower per day. It's a confusing system, considering how inhumane things have proven to be, but you're convinced it's to keep their subjects "healthy" for their fucked up experiments. 

Your schedule consisted of a hellish rotation of broken sleep and taking whatever drugs they forced upon you. The amount of times you were pulled from your cell varied for their trials that they had planned for the day. Whether it be once, or four times, you never knew how many hours you'd be stuck under surveillance in a catatonic state. 

You desperately tried to turn your emotions off to protect your psyche at any chance you could. As much as you hated to admit defeat, the endless stress and over dosage of unknown substances was more than enough to keep you underwater, sinking further toward rock bottom with each passing moment.

A guard stalks up to your cell and bangs on the glass to grab your attention.

“Y/H/N, your cooperation is needed for test 15. Up and at ‘em.” 

Your body is burdened with all the medical trauma you've endured over the last few days, slowing your pace to a sluggish limp as you make your way toward the cell door. 

"Hurry it up, subject. We ain't got all day!" he shouts, startling you with his sudden command.

Fuck this place.

Day Fourteen

"Test 23, Y/H/N - Forced kinetic energy release. Begin testing."

You don't have time to react before the IVs hooked to you begin to force various fluids into your veins. The competing sensations flood through you in rough currents - hot, cold, burning, stinging in cycles. A well-known tunnel vision begins to cloud your sight as you squirm in the steel throne you've been restrained to. You're body is on the verge of passing out when an intrusive illusion appears before you.

"Hello? Sweetie?" 

Your mother appears in front of you, outstretching a phantom hand to touch your shoulder. 

What the fuck...mom? How is she here right now?

"Are you coming home?" she asks, her face settled in a deadpan expression. Her voice resembles a computerized AI, as if someone is programming her dialog.

"Mom?" you speak aloud, frightened by how real this looks and feels.

"Honey? Are you coming home? Katsuki and Izuku need you."

"Mom, I'm right here. What do you mean?" You're becoming more and more disturbed as she continues to drone on the same question.

"When are you coming home? Katsuki and Izuku need help."

She's not real.

She's not really here - this shadow knows nothing. 

Snap the fuck out of it, they must have drugged you with a hallucinogenic. 

But why? What the hell does this have to do with quirk suppressants? 

"You're not here," you growl, screwing your eyes shut, refusing to entertain anymore of this apparition of your mother. 

"Oh, but honey, I am!"

What?

A force squeezes at your throat, cutting off an anxious breath as it leaves your lips. You scramble to grasp at the hallucination, forgetting you're trapped in the testing chamber and can't move. Your hands are flexing repeatedly under the shackles as energy is collecting in your palms, unable to control the emotional response racing through every nerve in your body.

They must have not given you the suppressant...or mixed it with something more deadly. 

"No!" You croak, your scream choked out by the pressure on your neck. 

Your vision turns white, a sudden surge of energy expelling from your palms, pulsing intensely over and over again. You can feel the impact against the chair beneath you, the sound of shredding metal filling your ears as kinetic energy is forcibly pouring out of you in succession.

"Cease testing, inject sedation."

The pain in your hands dissipates immediately upon hearing the doctor's orders, followed by the prick of a thick needle penetrating the crook of your neck. The white cast in your vision fades, reality returning to you as your eyes glass over. One of the scientist walks around the chair and stands before you with another goddamn clipboard. 

"Y/H/N, please describe how you feel and what you saw."

That familiar fire returns in your chest from your first night here - the aggressive urge to lash out. Was this a side-effect of whatever serum they've been loading you up with?

"Fuck you," you snarl, lip quivering as you're attempting to bury the ferocity thrashing inside you, begging to be set free.

He approaches you and snatches your cheeks in a rough hold. His grip tightens around your jaw as he repeats his question. 

"One more time - Y/H/N, describe how you feel and what you saw."

The flame burns hotter as your fists are trembling, the emotion becoming overbearing.

Before you can stop yourself, your palms shoot up into an offensive position, sparking with the remaining collective of kinetic energy as it bursts forward, striking the scientist and sending him tumbling backward. The bonds on the arms of the chair must have broken and freed your hands during the test - you didn't even notice until you attacked the guard. 

Shit.

"Quirk handcuffs and solitary - stat," orders the doctor over the surround system. 

The door to the room slams open and three more scientists scramble inside as they're rushing to surround you. One shoves you down harshly into the metal chair, bouncing your head off the back of it. 

Black…everything goes black.

When you come to, you’re in a new room that you don’t recognize. It’s different from the one you’ve called “home” since your arrival. There’s a mirror in the cell they’ve thrown you in and you catch a glimpse of yourself for the first time in...you don't know how long. The reflection shows you someone you don’t recognize - the girl staring back at you isn’t you. It looks like you, but her vicious predatory grin is bone chilling. This doppelgänger glares daggers at you, tilting her head menacingly as she mouths, “get out of me.”

You throw a punch at the mirror and shatter it as a blood curdling scream erupts from deep in your gut. Stumbling to the floor, you lay on the cold concrete and stare into the blank space of the solitary prison cell. You can’t even will yourself to cry.

I wanna go home…I wanna go home… 

The thought recycled on loop, taunting the strength of your mental state.

I want to go home to mom, to Izuku, to Katsuki…anywhere but here. 

You need to survive...

No. You will survive. 

This will not kill you. 

Day Twenty Five

"Y/H/N, we are going to proceed with a psychological evaluation."

Like you had a choice in the matter.

“Can you describe your experience from test 23?”

“Horrible,” you groan, the vision of your mother flowing to the forefront of your memory. “I saw a hallucination of someone that could physically touch me.”

You’ve learned in your time here not to ask further questions - answer as plainly as possible and move on. 

The scientist clacked the keys on her laptop obnoxiously. “And it felt real?”

Unfortunately, yes.

“Yes.” You turn your eyes to the floor as she proceeds to type whatever nonsense into the database. She retrieves a clipboard from the bag slung on the back of her chair, sliding it across the table to you. 

"Can you confirm this report is accurate from your initial intake?"

You begin to scan over the form when the words "if you want to get out of here" catch your attention.

Y/N

Y/H/N

Subject 57 - Kinetic Energy

Do not speak or react this note, until specified, if you want to get out of here.

...What?

I'm an undercover hero from the United States. I've been here for six months, waiting for an officially ranked hero to come through the facility. I haven't been able to leave since my arrival and communication has been cut off from my agency. You're the first non-civilian they've captured. 

Blink four times if you had a cellphone on you when you were taken. 

You look up at her and blink four times - she shoots her eyes back down to the form, signaling you to continue reading. 

Can you contact outside help? Could be the agency you belong to or co-workers.

Tap the table twice for yes and three times for no.

You tap the table twice, pretending to point to specific information on the page your reading. If you could get access to your cellphone, you might just be able to send your location to initiate a rescue mission.

"Thank you, Y/H/N," she says, grabbing the clipboard and returning it to her bag. "I'll take you back to your cell, follow me."

Following the standard protocol that you're used to, she slaps a pair of handcuffs around your wrists before exiting the room. Once you reach your cell, she steps inside with you, removing the cuffs and motioning for you to come closer.

"I can look in the evidence chamber for your phone, more than likely it's in there with the other belongings after your decontamination process. Workers aren't allowed any communication devices, but they keep all of the captor's personal items guarded in one place." 

You don't have time to ask her all the questions you're dying to know the answers to - how'd she get here, how did the USA know of the lab, what her undercover work consisted of, why no  one came to find her...a plethora of unknowns. 

But right now? She's willing to help you, that's all that matters.

"If you can conjure up enough energy with your quirk, can you charge it?" she asks faintly. 

You nod in response, confirming the answer silently. Similarly to your classmate from UA, Kaminari, you were able to charge devices by converting kinetic energy into an electronic wavelength - a trick Eraserhead taught you back in Junior year. 

"Here's the plan - In five days, I'll be the guard on night shift. I'll give you an empty shot of the suppressant to make it look like a realistic dosage. Once the others have dissipated to their quarters, I can lead you to the evidence stash and let you rummage through the bins while I keep watch. You grab the phone, I'll hide it in my uniform, bring you back to your cell and toss it to the floor. I'll patrol the hall while you get things set up and make contact with another hero or your agency."

She peers out of the glass cell and sees another guard making his way down the hall. 

"Don't say a word. I'll be back in 5 days, and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do," she apologizes as she cracks you on the jaw with a hearty slap.

You know she had to fake it in front of the other guard to keep her cover - it still hurt like hell.

She shuts the door with a noisy clang of the door's mechanism, a high pitched beep locking it in place. 

And thus, the countdown to freedom begins.

Five days until you finally make contact with the outside world - with someone.

Someone? No, you already knew who you were sending the information to - like it wasn't obvious who you'd choose to signal for help.

Day Twenty Nine

You've come this far, you can't back down now. 

All you had to do was make your way back to the evidence room with the undercover hero lady, find your phone, and sneak back to your holding cell. 

And force your quirk to activate. 

...and not get caught.

The suspense of the plan succeeding was enough to keep you on edge as the nightly sedations were distributed. She appeared, just like she promised, and administered a fake injection to your arm. You put on a front for the other guards, fooling them into thinking you were properly medicated. 

The plan's been set in motion - she'll be back in a few hours.

Day Thirty

You could feel the liberation in your grasp - the victory of sneaking your phone back to your cell filling you with exhilaration. All you had to do was wait for lights out to attempt your escape plan. You have no idea how deep the lab sits under Sector 42 and if you'll even be able to obtain a signal in your cell.

Focusing all of your willpower into the tip of your pointer finger, you hold it closely as sparks of energy softly crackle into the charging port of the phone. 

Just a minute to charge, that's all I need. Enough battery to turn it on, send a call and a text and turn it back off.

You're beginning to feel lightheaded as your phone successfully powers on with a soft vibration and the logo appearing on screen. 

Holy shit, it worked!

Hurriedly, you flip the silent switch before notifications begin to pour into the device, catching up on all the missed communications over the last month. Multiple calls, text messages, e-mails, the standard amount that you expected. The battery hovered at 7% and the time read 3:05AM. You glance at the date underneath the time - it's been an entire month since you disappeared. 

A whole goddamn month.

There's no time to spiral over that right now!

Hunched over behind your cot, you proceed to open your messages to keep your plan on track. You're not shocked by the amount of missed texts from everyone; Midoriya, Jiro, Uraraka, Kirishima, Mina...and Bakugo.

You had 127 unread texts from him, the last coming in less than ten minutes ago.

One hundred and twenty seven.

You freeze, a mixture of guilt, excitement, and panic surging through you. Shoving all that down - you've gotten too good at doing that - you clicked on the thread, catching the last dozen or so of his messages.

[2:45AM] i don’t want to say this in a fucking text of all things [2:45AM] especially under these circumstances  [2:46AM] but i’m scared i’ll never get to say it to you [2:46AM] i’m a fucking idiot for not telling you sooner [2:47AM] god dammit [2:48AM] i love you [2:48AM] like a stupid fucking amount [2:49AM] i convinced myself i didn’t and that you wouldn’t feel the same [2:50AM] and when you come home [2:50AM] i’ll tell you every damn day to make up for all the times i didn’t [2:51AM] that’s a promise [2:52AM] i love you lite-brite

Tears are silently falling from your eyes, wide with astonishment at the words you're reading from him. There's no way this is real - you've got to be strung out from the quirk-drugs they've forced upon you. A delayed side effect of some sort? They've given you delusions in the past, it's not that farfetched. 

He convinced himself not to love you? He's always loved you?! 

He said 'I love you,' twice.

Twice!

You don't have time to read the rest as much as you're dying to catch up on all the potential sweet nothings he's sent to you over the last few weeks, but you do have time for one thing.

Before you chicken out, you click the "Call" button next to his name. The phone suddenly feels like a cinderblock in your hand as you shakily hold it to your ear. You think he's not going to answer until you hear faint rustling sounds on the other end of the line.

"H-hello?! Y/N!?" You can't say anything - your body straightens, goosebumps covering you from head to toe. All of the misery you were holding on to, the trauma and terror, evaporated at the sound of those two words. Those two measly words wrapped around you and offered a warmth you haven't known in weeks.

You click the "End Call" button, hating that you probably gave him a heart attack, but you selfishly needed to hear his voice. 

Before you forget your initial plan, you send a pinned location to Bakugo. You know he'll come running - blasting, rather - as soon as he can pinpoint exactly how to break into the lab. You have zero doubts that he can't figure it out.

[3:11AM] *location sent*

One last thing for good measure? You send an orange heart emoji. 

Right as you're about to scroll up and read his past messages, your phone powers down with the empty battery symbol displaying on screen.

Your heart is racing, threatening to beat out of your chest as his words reverberate in your mind. 

I love you like a stupid fucking amount.

You can't help but chuckle at the sentiment - that's so Bakugo of him to say. 

At least your plan was a success and you were able to accomplish the small goal. Now all you have to do is play the waiting game - knowing Bakugo, and presumably Midoriya? That won't be long at all.

You lay back in your cot, smiling for the first time in ages, relishing in your triumph. 

And for the first night since you've arrived, a peaceful rest welcomes you with open arms. You dream of home, running in the park under the glow of the sun and finding Bakugo under the shade of a nearby tree, waiting patiently for you in the summer breeze. 

next up, we wrap back to the boys as they plan their rescue mission! and they're not going alone as they recruit their closest friends in their crazy plan to get you back. and don't worry, it won't be easy. tags: @bakugouswaif @k1tk4tkatsuki @bells2319 @st0nedbitch @deftonianfr ✩ if you’d like to be tagged when updates are posted, message/comment to be added! ✩

#bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugo angst #bakugo x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo fluff #bakugo x y/n #katsuki bakugo #my hero academia #bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #☆.rei writes #✩.hollowheart

[lovelybunn]

ㅤㅤㅤ ﹙ 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝖾𝖽.﹚

warning(s): smut, swearing

author's note: this is lowkey so fanon it's not even funny but it's fine. and i love red guy so i'll project on him as much as i'd like, f u + ratio + leave if u don't like it idc. /lh

                      ༚ .  🍬 ◌  ꙳ .  ⊹  🖍  + ｡ ๋

"hm? you say you 'love' me? thank you. i guess i do, too." red flashes his canines at you; a warm, gentle smile welcomed you. it only lasted for a second though, before his focus went completely back on the television in front of him. you rolled your eyes playfully before laying down next to your boyfriend.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.

his autism makes it a bit hard for him to show his affection/emotions, but he really does try his best.

he may act kind of cold and/or misunderstand certain social cues, but he does it all in good faith.

red loves being generally around you. there doesn't need to be a conversation– or even any touching for that matter, just being in your presence gives him a sense of comfort.

red speaks in a very monotonous voice, not intentionally of course, but it does cause confusion in translation. what makes it even worse is that sarcasm is literally his main sense of humor.

"hon, i left some chives in the fridge. can you go fetch them for me, please?" your boyfriend hummed. the smell of fresh cut onions frying in olive oil filled your nostrils. red was preparing some kind of dish, but he refused to tell you what it was. you about drooled imagining all the possibilities; no matter what it was, you knew red was bound to make it delicious.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.

red unironically loves to cook, so his love language is to feed you with his culinary specialities.

he has an over 200 page recipe book that would be illegible and unorganized without the help of duck with a variety of dishes from tiramisu to korean style corn dogs.

the only thing he won't even think about cooking is red meat. it reminds him too much of organs and that makes him physically sick to his stomach.

if you guys are making bread or something, red will press his body close against yours and guide your hands while softly whispering you instructions.

"why do you keep staring at (name) like that?" yellow bellowed, his head tilted to the side with curiosity. red snapped his focus towards yellow. his tone was mildly harsh as he responded, "what? i'm not staring. i'm just looking at them. am i not allowed to look at my own partner anymore?" duck scoffed, flipping through the newspaper absent-mindedly. "don't get all defensive, he does have a point, it's quite... awkward to watch on the sidelines." before red could come up with a snarky remark, you pranced in, looking as happy as can be. duck smirked while yellow became a giggly mess. you didn't understand what the commotion was about, but red looked like he was about to explode.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.

even in the long term, red acts like you're simply unreachable like his chances of ever finding his real family.

he absolutely adores viewing you from afar. your like some kind of abstract painting to him: weird, confusing, yet so beautiful in his eyes.

he even has little fantasies and daydreams about you two, but red keeps the thoughts to himself, afraid you may debunk his ideas entirely.

his two mates tease him to hell about you two, but he always keeps his cool no matter much he wants pop their little skulls open.

ㅤ𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚! 𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗧 𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗨𝗧!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.

he's 1000% a bottom, no question. he needs you to control and use him until he's nothing but a shriveled up disgusting milked dry mess.

forget a horse, all the horsepower you need is right in red's lap!

red is always in the mood for head, no joke it's almost as if that thing is always hard as mount everest.

in contrast to the point above, red's sex drive is really low, but when he is horny, it's like witnessing a dog in heat.

he's a whimper/mewler. he can't help it, you just make him feel so fucking good.

red's ability to speak completely shuts down when having sex. it just become incoherent babbles at that point.

pretty much inexperienced, but once red gets the hang of it, it's on and poppin' partner ;).

no bdsm. absolutely not. abuse? of him or you, especially you? hell no.

exhibitionism is also a no-no. red believes sex should be a private intimate experience, and he's already fully aware of who he belongs to and vice versa.

red's praise kink is down so horrendously that you can simply say "good job" in a casual conversation and he'll get hard.

red prefers to cum inside you, wouldn't mind if you were like "ew that's gross /hj"

speaking of his cum, he got alot of it, and it goes everywhere when you give him head.

#dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis #dhmis show #dhmis tv show #dhmis tv series #dhmis red guy #red guy #red guy dhmis #red guy x reader #dhmis harry #harry dhmis #headcanon #headcanons #hcs #hc #imagines

[kiestrokes]

i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below. 

Seonghwa 

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung 

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

#ateez #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #invisible disability #invisible illness #ateez x you #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x male reader #ateez x gender neutral reader #ateez x atiny #imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #atz #atiny #park seonghwa #kim hongjoong #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho

[anemptypuddingcup]

Guilt-melting regret.

Yuji Itadori x Ghost Female Reader Rewrite.

Regret; Yuji Itadori Original.

Contains: Yuji is aged to twenty in this fic. Reader is a curse. Yuji cursed Reader. Yuji is very sad and apologetic in this fic. Yuji waking up from a nightmare. Yuji getting comfort from Reader. Mentions if Readers death. Mentions of Yuji killing Reader. Fingering. Riding. Mating press. A sad but comforting story.

Yuji lets out a shaky sigh as he gripped the pillow cradling his temple tightly.

He toss and turned in his bed, the sheets making his body more hot as he trembled in slight fear. He was having a nightmare, a usual one that he always had. He never got to see you in his nightmares but he’s always hear your voice scolding him in such a scornful for doing what he did to you.

The view was clear and there was nothing but a clear beautiful sky and clear waters meeting at his ankles.

The world around him looked so calming yet the water rippled with every word you spoke.

How dare you.

How could you.

How could you do this to me Yuji? I’ve done not a single thing to you.

You’ll burn in hell for what you’ve done to me.

He couldn’t do anything but to sit there and listen to your angered yet pained voice, knowing what he did to you was wrong and wasn’t supposed to happen in a way.

Everyone still thinks that it was an accident but only Yuji, Sukuna and yourself only know the truth.

“I-I’m sorry…I just…”

He couldn’t even think of an excuse. What he did was unacceptable. What’s worse is that he knew what would happen to himself if he ever told anyone. Him or Sukuna.

He already had this execution on his hands…and now he had this to deal with on top of it.

The water began to boil beneath his feet and he gasped out, his body beginning to sweat from the heat of the water boiling his skin while your voice fell silent.

I won’t forgive you…

I’ll never forgive you.

I regret ever calling you my lover, the very man who I loved so dearly before he’d betrayed me using his own bare hands.

“Please! I-I’m sorry-“

Sorry isn’t going to recover me from this pain Yuji! I can’t even fucking live anymore.

You took my life away from me!

To think that I fell in love with someone like you…

You don’t deserve my love and neither my affection. You’ll never deserve me or another woman for what you’ve done to me.

Yuji stood there and huffed out heavily as the water boiled his skin, making it bubble and blister from the intense heat. The water turned red and you slowly rose up from the liquid, and your eyes slowly looking up into Yuji’s who suddenly began to panic at the sight of your appearance.

Yuji…

“N-No…Please I’m sorry baby!-“

Yuuuuuji…

Yuji fell into his backside, the boiling water burning both his hands and the back of his calves and thighs.

“Baby please! I’m sorry! I really am!”

It’s time to wake up Yuji.

A hand grabs Yuji’s neck from beneath and pulls him into the red and sticky boiling water, one last apology leaving his throat as he reaches his hand out to your body.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Burn in hell.

The last thing he could see was your enlarged eyes staring at him as he got pulled into the boiling water.

“AH!- HAH-“

Yuji shot up from his bed, a cold sweat and tears spilling down his face as he shoved his blankets off frantically. He scoots back and up against his headboard, pressing a roughly scarred hand to his forehead as he inhaled deeply. He was broken and hurt already…but that dream just made him feel even more terrible.

He felt his bed shift slightly and he freezes before sighs out and gets out of bed, his bare feet touching the cold floorboards which were in contrast with his dream he had.

It seemed that his yelling had disturbed someone who slept beneath his bed.

He slowly presses his hand to his floorboards and bends over to see what caused his bed to shift.

Enlarged glassy eyes stared back at him and he shudders before chuckling a bit nervously. He always liked it when those large eyes devoided of emotion and life stared back into his hazel ones. “Hey baby…” He chuckled sweetly, giving you a warming smile while you continue to stare back at him. Your face slowly comes into view, showing off your white yet transparent features. Your lips loss all their pigment and so did your long unkempt hair.

You slowly tilt your head to him, your eyes growing half-lidded while he looks away from you nervously. He reaches his hand ott it to you beneath the bed, and you look down at it before looking back at him. “Can you…Can you come out? It’s okay, no one’s around to see you alright?” Yuji asked, reassuring you and urging you to come out of hiding.

Your brows furrow but you slowly reach for his strong hand before grasping it tightly. Yuji pulls you up, your body getting a bit stuck beneath the bed as both you and him let out struggled groans. “Gh- Cmon! Cmon you’re right there baby!-“ He groans out, pulling on your arm as he used a bit of strength to get you up. You tried pushing yourself up from the floor but your body was sorta stuck beneath the bed.

You let out a gargled whine as you looked up at him with worry in your eyes and he suddenly stops, not wanting to hurt you. He quirks a brow and presses a hand to his chin before sliding his hands underneath your arms. “Mmh- Cmon babe-“ He huffs out, pulling you from beneath the bed and stumbling back a bit from recoil.

Yuji slowly sat back down onto his bed, breathing heavily while he held you in his arms. His chest raised and lowered quickly, and you looked down at him with your big glassy eyes with worry. He gives you a little smile, his hand running through your pretty strands while you stared up at him. “Are you okay baby? You got stuck down there again didn’t ya?” He chuckles, looking into your eyes. You nodded in response, wrapping your cold arms around his neck and laying your head against his shoulder.

He felt your body snake around him, a bit of a phantasmagoric sensation on his skin and therefor making him reflect back onto the nightmare he had. He watched as your eyes stared deep into his, the silence making his thoughts so loud in his mind and his guilt even heavier in his heart. He sighs out heavily as the chill of your body lingered in the atmosphere and against his skin, making him shudder slightly while you tilt your head in worry.

Yuji pulls you close to his body, his strong arms holding you close and warm in his embrace.

Though you were forever cold no matter how warm his hug was…

His head drops down in guilt and he couldn’t help but to sigh out in heavy heartache. “I’m sorry…” He apologizes, his eyes reflecting a look of dullness and of him being broken. You couldn’t help but to frown and wrap your arms around him to hold his warm body tight, trying your best to reassure him of the guilt and pain he was feeding himself.

He watched as your lips worded I forgive you to him, accepting him and his apology many times like you’ve done before. Yet it wasn’t enough for him, he felt that no matter how many times you forgave him not even your words could convince him that you really were okay with being dead.

No one else would be, so why would you be different?

You were just a lingering soul that needed to be put to rest.

He sighs out shakily and began to feel his body tremble from your cold before he fell back into the bed with you in his arms. He was very broken, but then again he had no one but himself to blame for his own actions.

He’d remembered the face you made while his hands were tight around that pretty neck of yours. Your head buried deep beneath the surface tension of the cold and chilling water while your eyes were rolling up to the back of your skull and losing life.

What became of him to do such a thing to you, to murder you and take your life away from your body? It wasn’t even Sukuna who caused him to do a thing or ever persuaded him. It was his own free will and it was what he wanted to do.

Even if he was angry…his face told you otherwise as you met your demise that day.

The chilling face of no remorse and no sympathy. He looked as if he didn’t care about your life or all the good times you had along the way…

You watched as his tears ran uncontrollably down his face, and with that you pepper your cold lips onto his temple and pull him close into your cold and chilly embrace. He couldn’t help but to turn away and cry, the guilt sinking in deep as he suffered the consequence of committing a sin which he willingly did. “I’m sorry. I’m just…I’m so sorry.” He apologized profusely, gasping out while he held on tight to your skin tight dress and pulled you to him. You give him a look of question and keep him close, waiting for his emotional and partial mental breakdown to cease.

You nuzzled your nose within his neck, enjoying the warmth of his skin and finding it rekindling. Though part of you wished to have that same feeling back in your own body just as you did years ago…

Yuji kept you close and wrapped within his arms, holding you like you were the only thing that mattered dear to him. Which…you were. The aftertaste of your death kissed at his skin and he sighs out again agonizingly, his hot tears running down his face while runs his hand along your back. “I’m…sorry.” He continued, unable to stop thinking about the incident and apologizing to you.

You pepper a kiss to his cheek and smiled softly, lying close against him while he stared back into your large glassy eyes. You cup his face with your cold hands and squish his cheeks, trying to cheer him up a bit or to at least making him feel the slightest bit better. Itadori sighs out as he watched you wipe his tears away, kissing at his tear-soaked cheeks while he stared at you with his glossy hazelnut eyes.

Itadori wraps his strong arms tighter around your midsection, a sigh leaving him as he begins to pepper his hot lips against your cold skin. Your fingers comb through his undercut as he rested his head against your breasts, breathing shakily as he recovered from his panic attack.

He looks up into your eyes and watched as you blinked slowly, your eyes adoring the glistening yet broken life in his. He nuzzles up against you neck before giving you a little smooch, pressing his lips against yours once before he went for another desperate kiss. He mewls out as he indulged in the taste of your lips, kissing you a little bit deeper whilst sliding his rough hands beneath your tight dress.

His hands runs up under your dress and he feels around your soft inner thighs before palming at your clothed cunt, making you gasp out. “Mmmmgh~” You pulled Itadori closer to your body on instinct, wrapping your legs around his hips as he palmed and massaged your clothed pussy. His hand slide into your panties and he rubs his fingers against your slit, your thighs spreading wider as he provided a bit of friction and stimulation to your pussy.

“Ahhh~ Hah~” Your brows began to furl as a strangled moan leaves past your lips, your cunt tightening and fluttering around nothing but air as Yuji rubs his fingertips along your slit while his palm grinds and rubs hard against your clit. “Hahhh~ Mmhh~” You lie back against his fluffy pillows and moan out needily, your hips grinding up against his hand while the pleasure began to make your body feel all hot and sticky with arousal. Yuji pulls your panties off and throws them to the side, spreading your thighs open more as his fingertips rubbed circles at your clit.

Yuji drools out a bit onto your slit before sliding his digits along his tongue suckling on his digits, coating his fingers in his saliva before he slowly slid them past your tight entrance and deep into your pussy. You watched as he slowly slides his fingers into your pussy, softly pumping them in and out of you while your toes curled against him with ecstasy. His other hand slides beneath your dress before he slowly pull it off of you, pulling it over your head and arms whilst he multitasked on your cunt in front of him.

His hand reaches out and gropes your breast and you moan out shakily, your back arching while your face scrunches up in heavy arousal. Yuji pumps his fingers faster inside of your pussy, sighing out as he felt his cock growing hard within his joggers. He adored watching you squirm and moan out for him, the feeling of your walls tighten around his fingers made him smile and sigh out shakily.

“MMGH!~” His fingers had kissed your sweet bundle of nerves, making you gasp out suddenly before you’d press your hands against his shoulders.

Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful being sprawled out beneath him like this, he didn’t know what else was. He could feel himself soaking in his boxers, practically drenching them while he watched and felt his fingers slide in and out of your pussy.

Scissoring his fingers inside of your cunt causes you to gasp out before tensing up, your walls tightening around his fingers while his fingertips kept kissing that loving little g-spot of yours. Yuji sighs out shakily before removing his fingers from inside of you, his body and his cock unable to stay patient much longer. You whine out at the sudden withdrawal but he shushes you before chuckling.

“I’m about to give you somethin’ better than my fingers. Fuck I’m about to give you something so much better than my fingers~”

He nearly rips the drawstring off as he struggled to loosen his joggers, the string making him more irritated as he struggled to get them off. Once he loosened up the string, he slowly pulls off both his joggers and his boxers. His hardened cock pops out as hits against his lower abdomen, making him hiss out before he looks back down to you.

His thick cock was leaking with pre and he was in desperate need of your attention, like a dog going through its heat. You giggled and teased at him, wiggling your hips your fingers slowly spreads your folds open for him, revealing even more of your pussy.

“Ohh fuck babyy~” He hissed out before running his thumb along your sticky slit, his touch making you mewl out shakily as he played to your clit and ran his thumb along your slit in circles.

“Stop teasin’ me! You’re being mean and making my dick even harder for ya. Can’t you see how hungry my dick is for your pussy?~” He huffed out, pouting at you while his hands gripped your hips and ran along your skin. You giggle out to him and mewl out as his fingers played at your inner hips. He stared down at you before smiling all sweetly, his hands sliding your body down closer to his. “I’m gonna take care of you...Do you trust me with taking care of you this time…?” He asked you carefully, his hands halting as he asked you his question.

You stare up at him blankly in response, looking at him intently with concern as if you were being cautious of his words. He tilts his head before smirking softly yet nervously to you, staring into those big black pupils of yours with his hazelnut eyes of his. “I promise I won’t hurt you…not anymore. Not after how much I’ve done to ya…” He says shakily, trying his best to keep his smile on his face.

You blink and your eyes softens up before you’d smile to him, trusting him to touch you as long as he didn’t hurt you anymore. You stretch your arms out and hugged him tightly, pulling him close against your naked body while Yuji’s eyes widens in shock. He sighs shakily before he hugged you back, enjoying your cold embrace in contrast with his hotter frame. You press your lips against his and mewl out lovingly, your cold hands trailing along Yuji’s skin and making him moan out lovingly at your touch.

You let out a shaky little giggle before sitting up against Yuji’s pillows while he lied down against you again, with you looking down into his hazel eyes while he stared up at you with a slight pout. You inhaled shakily before finally nodding eagerly and smiling, your fingers spreading your folds open for him once again before you’d blink all cutely to him.

Yuji exhales shakily and gets back up on his knees, his eyes growing half-lidded as they trailed down along your soft and delicate body. He moves back in close to you before pressing his lips against yours again, giving you a deep kiss before pulling back while a string of saliva disconnects from your tongues. “Fuck babyyy~” He moans out shakily and looks deep into your eyes, hissing out as he begins grinding his bare cock along your slit.

He grinds and ruts up into your slit, groaning out while his hands reaches up to your pretty breasts. He groped and fondled the soft mounds before hissing out and biting his bottom lip, moving his lips in close to your ear before whispering to you. “Here, sit up on my body. I wanna feel that pretty ass of yours against my hips~” He giggled, his tone of voice making your body shudder unconsciously before you nodded and obeyed.

You watched Yuji lie down and back up against his pillows before he’d reach his hands out to you, waiting for you to crawl your pretty body on top of his. You slowly crawled up onto his body and hovered your hips over his, your slit dripping out slick onto his cock while a pleased hum leaves his throat.

His hands softly grabs your hips before he pulled them down onto his, his cock kissing your cunt while you gasp out shakily at the warmth and stickiness of his dick against your pussy. Yuji reaches his hands around your hips, his rough hands groping at the fat of your ass while you mewl out and blushed deeply at his touches.

“I’m gonna ram into this pussy, you want me to fuck your pussy baby? Yeah?~” Yuji cooed, his hand reaching up to your face and teasing at your skin. You slid your hands along his shirt and you could feel his chest and his toned abs through the fabric, his fit and strong physique making your body tremble with excitement while he lied there beneath your smaller and weaker frame.

“I’m gonna put it in~ You want me to put it in? You want this fucking dick inside of your pussy yeah? You want it?~” Yuji continued to tease you playfully while your body trembled against his, teasing you whilst rubbing his cock along your sticky and needy slit. You whimpered in response and wiggled your hips against his, wanting him to just stop teasing you while you started lifting your hips again.

“Okay okay, I’ll put it in baby~” He giggles at your desperation and gives you a little smooch, his hands holding your hips softly in place while he presses his cock head up against your cunt. He slowly pulls your hips down and begins to slide in past your entrance, a hiss leaving his lips as he felt your pussy automatically beginning to squeeze around his cock and suck him in so easily.

You groan out shakily at the stretch and straddle him to keep yourself balanced, his face softening up and giving you a loving smile while he took it as slow as he possibly could. You moan out all shakily to him as he bottoms out inside of your pussy, a heavy moan leaving your lips while your eyes had shut softly at his cock smooching your cervix.

He sighs out and runs his fingers up your lower body, a sigh leaving him as he enjoyed the feel of your chilling skin kissing his fingertips. He hissed out all shakily as he allowed you to adjust, melting in the feeling of your walls pulsating around his length.

“Oh baby~ Your pussy’s so hungry for me isn’t it?~” He groans out shakily, his hazel eyes staring up into your dead ones while you moan out shakily against him. You hum out to him as your brows furled from the pleasure of him inside of you, your body now begging for you to just move your hips against his.

You softly begin moving your hips up against his, your movements making Yuji sigh out in arousal while he held your hips softly. “T-Take it slow~ Y-You don’t have to rush it~” He mewls out to you, his eyes flickering down to your pussy and watching as it pulled and massaged his length deep inside. You unconsciously rode his cock with ease, your voice all sweet and sugary while your body bounced on top of his softly.

Yuji’s moans grew all airy and light as his hand presses up against your tummy, wincing from the pleasure as your pussy enveloped his cock. “Hah~ S-So needy weren’t ya? D-Does it feel good inside of your pussy?~” He asked you, his voice trembling as he shuts his eyes softly and threw his head back in ecstasy. Your moans easily answered his question as he watched your body move carefully yet lovingly.

“M-Mmgh~ Ah~” You moan out to him and he smirks to you, his hand cupping your cheek while his other hand held on to your hip. He groans out shakily before he sits up, adjusting himself so he could be closer while he watched you move all on your own.

“I missed you, god I missed you so fuckin’ much~ I missed this~” He gasps out, his arms slowly sliding around your smaller frame before he’d pull you closer into his larger frame. You rested your head against his chest, your arms wrapping around his body whilst you continued to bounce up and down on his cock. Your nails clawed at his back as you felt his length churning up your insides, giving you adoring smooches deep inside while he held you close.

“Fuck- I-I need a bit of a push baby~ Mind if I take the lead?~” He asked, a little chuckle leaving after while he looked down at you love-filled eyes. “M-Mhmm~” You nodded to him and relaxed against his embrace, your answer allowing his hands to slowly lower your body back down onto the bed before he’d lift your legs up.

He sits himself up and smiles to you before he began to move his hips, his thrusts all deep and sharp as he smooched your g-spot deeply. The sound of his cock going inside of your pussy repeatedly only made your body grow hotter while he’d watch your face contort in pleasure. You let out moans of ecstasy to him while he fucked your pussy, his grip on your thighs growing tight while he moans out and throws his head back in pleasure.

“S-So good~ Your pussy will always be so good to me baby~” He moans out to you, his teeth clenching a bit as his body began to grow a bit sticky with sweat. A bit of warm tears began to brew at your eyes as you moan out for him, your body rocking with his thrusts alongside his bed that he shared with you.

“God you’re too perfect~ I-I don’t w-want you to leave me~ D-Don’t leave me~ God, please don’t go baby!~” He gasps out into your ear, his brows furrowing as he professed his adoration to you. His thrusts did begin to grow harder and the bed was practically rocking from how fast and hard he was going inside of you. All you could do was moan and whine out for him while he fed you full with his love for you.

You could just from his eyes that he was genuine and that he needed you.

The feeling of him pushing your legs higher causes you to lift your head while you watch him slowly push his body higher up against yours.

“Hah~ I-I’m sorry baby~ I-I want more of you!~ I need more of you!~”

He wraps his arm underneath your body while hand stayed at one of your thighs, his larger body enveloping your smaller frame while you whined and took his cock deep inside of your pussy.

God his fucking was making your mind melt at this point. You didn’t know if you liked his body in contact against yours and his thrusts deep inside of you even more.

His face was buried within your neck, his cracked and slightly scarred lips pressing smooches against your cold skin and making you mewl out.

“Stay with me~ Stay with me baby~” He whines to you, his knees digging into the mattress while he concentrates on his strength within his thrusts. You whimpered and wrap your arms around his neck, soft gasps leaving you as you accepted his love with tears running down your face.

“Ahhhn~ O-Ohh~” You bit your bottom lip tight and threw your head back, your moaning now loud as your pussy tightened around Yuji’s length. Yuji smirked against your skin and sighs out before sliding his tongue along the soft yet cold skin of your neck, suckling and leaving little love bites against you to mark you.

“Your moans, just as pretty as they always were~” He sighs out, his hand cupping your sticky tear-soaked face while you stared into his eyes. He presses his lips against yours and sighs out, his cock twitching within your walls which indicated that he was rather close to his orgasm. Your fingers clawed at his back as you threw your head back as your toes curled in delight.

“You’re close aren’t you?~ P-Please~ Cum on my dick for me baby~”

You whined out in response and gripped tightly at his shirt, your body now yearning to twist beneath his out of pleasure. “MMH~ M-MMGH!~” You breathed heavily before gasping out loudly to him, holding him close while your pussy finally gushes around his thick length. He could see your eyes rolling up in ecstasy while your body shuddered beneath his, the feeling of your sticky essence coating his cock making his body tremble against yours while it grew so hot.

The feeling of his cock twitching within your pussy makes you shudder while you whine out at his continuous thrusts pumping into your pussy.

Yuji’s thrusts began to grow a little sloppy and unrhythmic as he chased after his high with your body, his eyes staring down at your fucked-out face which made him more aroused in return. “Fuck- Fuck~ Mmh!~” He gasps out before holding his body still against yours, a heavy groan leaving his lips as his cock finally releases his seed deep inside of you.

You mewl out at the warmth of his seed filling you up while he breathes heavily against you, his body lying onto its side while he kept you close against him and yet still connected with him. You mewl out shakily and rest your body against him, your orgasm strong and yet extremely relieving as you rested there with him.

Yuji smiled to you before giving you a deep kiss, his fingers playing behind your ears while you hum out to him soothing your body. You pulled away from his lips and sigh out before slowly sitting up from him, making his face shift as if he didn’t want you to leave just yet…

You rubbed your eyes and turned to Yuji as you felt him waffle his hand with one of yours before pressing a kiss to it.

“Please- S-Stay in bed with me. I don’t wanna be alone…not right now.” He begged to you, his arms keeping you close while you smiled to him in response. You nodded and snuggled yourself deep into his warm embrace, a yawn leaving you and him while he smiles and stared down at your adorable little face.

“I love you…I miss you..” He whispers to you, a yawn leaving him as he inhales deeply and gives you another kiss. You hun out in response and nuzzle your face deep within his neck, basking in his warmth while his body began to prepare itself for rest.

“I love you too…Yuji.”

#puddingcuprewrites #puddingcupimagines #puddingcupfics #dividers -> cafekitsune #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen itadori #jjk itadori #itadori yuji smut #yuji itadori smut #itadori yuji fluff #itadori yuji #itadori x reader

[emsgoodthinkin]

As long as I’m with You

Steve Harrington x You (short)

Summary: Steve wakes up to another bad night you’ve had this week

Warnings: hurt/comfort, talks of poor physical and mental health, doctors, suicidal ideation, medication use, drug use, chronic health issues, BPD if you squint, disabilities, use of the word “girl” x times, negative self talk, mentions of sex, angst, fluff~~

This is based off my own experiences and inspired by my pal Morgan’s version; feel free to check hers out

Tick tick tick

The clock strikes 12 and then 1, 3, 5am in the morning, no sleep no rest it’s an every day cycle. The same shitty cycle.

It’s a new year, but not a new you.

Sitting in your walker in front of the excruciatingly bright television screen, high as a kite, everything in existence running through your mind 100 mph, sometimes the weed helps the pain. Sometimes it induces it or even makes it worse. Right now it’s doing nothing for you. Looking over at your loved one sound asleep. You don’t want to bother him with your whines or crying. So you just sit there silence, tears rolling down your cheeks; while you watch some bullshit on YouTube.

Sniff Sniff

“Baby?”

Shit.

“..yea?” you say in a whispered tone

“Are you ok? what’s wrong?”

“Ah, you already know”, you’ve used that line probably over a million times

Steve comes along your side expecting a few dried tears, but his eyes widen when he’s sees the collar around your shirt bitten, snot dribbling down your mouth and throat, crouching down, he lies his head onto your thigh looking up at you, “Talk to me sweetheart”

“No.”

“Hey, I know you’re hurting”—

“GOOD FOR YOU! Congratulations you know I’m hurting, you know I’ve been hurting for fucking years. I’m glad you’ve acknowledged it unlike some people”you sniffle getting up in a hurry to take a piss as he follows with sad eyes leaning against the door frame

“I’m fucking tired, I’m so goddamn exhausted nobody will ever know what I’m dealing with!”, you say wiping your ass not bothering to wash your hands, “I can’t do anything I can’t run, I can’t jump, can’t go to the stupid, fucking grocery store without one of those motorized carts.. my back hurts, my fucking knees are throbbing, stupid fucking nerves won’t calm down FUCK! It’s not like I can get in the bathtub to calm my muscles down. Nothing is helping! No medication, no PT, no injections, no nothing! Why?? am I just resistant to any source of help or treatment? I-I can’t even lay in the goddamn bed to sleep. That’s all I have left is rest!! What is rest!? I don’t know what the hell that even is”

“I know baby I know”—

“NO YOU DONT STEVE, all you know is what you see. I wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, my worst enemy to feel what I feel. That’s how bad it all hurts. The most evil, sick and twisted person in this world, I would never wish this upon. I just..”, getting dizzy you collapse on the bed sobbing into your own hands, then eventually into Steve’s shoulder as he rocks you, tears spilling from his own eyes—

“Nobody cares, nobody wants to help me. nobody cares unless I’m rich and can afford to give them any and ALL the things off my back, but I can’t. Even with the money you make it will never be enough to help the poor girl who’s too young to have any kind of issue. It’s “all in my head” I’m just fucking crazy. I could break my own neck and still be told it’s only from anxiety. Nobody cares just”—

“I care” he exhales

“It doesn’t matter if you care, all your care is useless, all your help is worthless to me because it gets me nowhere. Nobody’s love and care gets me nowhere. It’s nothing all but fucking false hope. Don’t you get that? None of you still to this day seems understand that. Stop praying for me to get better. It’s never going to happen. I can’t take it anymore.. I just wanna die! All I wish for is to die but, I can’t even have that. It’s like all of you want me here, to live and suffer for the rest of my life for y’all, it’s not fair, fuck that”, your trembling, body in fight or flight

“Don’t say that, you know I’d do anything to take your pain away”

“It doesn’t matter what you’d do because you’re not a doctor. You’re not a professional, you can’t help me get better.. sucks to hear but it’s the truth Steve..fuck”—

Steve’s really trying not to beat himself up over your words, he knows you’re in pain, it comes from a place of anger, frustration and fear

“I have all these pain medications I could easily take all at once, so I’ll never have to wake up in this position ever again. Why can’t I do it huh? I could end right here right now you never have to suffer again, but I just d-don’t; If anything, I’m the most selfless person for staying alive for YOU just so I can be alive but in pain all over again for YOU!”, your tone getting higher and higher in pitch

“I-I’m sorry.. I wish I knew the right words to say baby”, he’s trying his best to stay strong for you

“You’ve got to be sick of me, tired of me. All I do is cause more money to come out of your pockets, more exhaustion, more burdening, more crying, more everything bad for you. You already deal with your own shit. I do nothing but make your own mentality worse, hell you’re making your own self worse being with a person like me. A broken and useless excuse of a human being. You deserve somebody who can go hiking with you, go to the beach, travel with, who can do the bare minimum. Can’t even fuck you properly—

“STOP! Stop that right now” he shouts

You freeze because he’s never raised his voice at you, atleast not on purpose at such a vulnerable time

“I hate it too. You know it hurts me to know that you hurt and I’m sorry that I can’t take the pain away from you. My sweet, sweet girl I’m so sorry that nobody has given you the chance to hear your voice, to help heal you..but I’m gonna make you the same promise I make you almost every single night. As long as I’m with you, I will try my best with all my power to make it a little bit more bearable for you to be here, and I am so grateful that you are still here and choose to be here with me for us to be together. I know you hurt, but as long as you’re with me, I’m going to do my best to put a smile on your pretty face, beautiful sunshine of a smile because you’re my sunshine.. y-your smile gives me life did you know that?”

You nod. He tells you all the time

“I- I’m tired for wishing to feel ok for my birthdays, every Christmas. All the shirts and posters you got me for Christmas? I haven’t even touched them yet, you know why? Because the selfish person in me doesn’t give a fuck about none of it. The only thing I care about and want and NEED is pain relief and that’s too much to ask for isn’t it? Apparently wanting to be better in the world it’s too much to ask for”

“You deserve to feel better”, he says while his hand travels up your back to rub your tense neck, “You deserve to be free from all of this and I can’t give that to you. You’re not selfish baby you’re hurting. I love you for you. I knew what I was signing up for, and if I didn’t want that I wouldn’t be here right now with you. I know the sacrifices Ill have to make, the tears I’ll have to shed, the strength it’ll take me to pick you up when you’re down, but I fell in love with you, how you are, and who you are”

“Who are you kidding Steve, you don’t even know who I am. The real me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wish you met me when I wasn’t sick then maybe you wouldn’t be so stressed out a-and.. and,” you start sobbing again, it’s all too overwhelming

“Hey, hey look at me, no. I met you at the right time. You need me just as much as I need you. You may not think you’re worth nothing but you’re worth everything to me. Yeah you have a good and bad days..—

“I’ve had nothing but bad days for the past few months Steve”-

“I know, I see it, I hear it and I witness it, I may not can feel it, but at the end of it all, you still love me. You’re still here. You still want to cook for me. You still get up to brush your teeth and I’m so proud of you for still trying to care for yourself. That’s the biggest job you’ll ever have, and it’s been a very hard job hasn’t it?

You nod, as he nods with you

“Yeah, it has, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore. I want to provide for you. I want to take care of you. You’re my girl, you deserve so much and as long as I’m with you, I will try every day, every hour, every second or minute, to make sure you know how loved, how great and how amazing you are. How great and amazing you’re doing for yourself and for me. How strong you are”—

—“im tired of having being strong all the time”, interrupting him

“I know you are. You are so strong for being on this earth, even when you don’t want to be. I wouldn’t ask for anybody else, you’re it for me always. Will you continue to let me try to make it better for you every day? To take care of you?”, he squats in front of you, cupping your wet cheeks, kissing your forehead

“But Stevie.. you know you’re getting your own hopes up because nothing you do helps either and I feel like a piece of shit for saying that because”—

“I know what you mean, you don’t have to be sorry. I understand you may not have hope but I do. All my Hope goes towards you and it always will. You are the most important thing in my life. I’m not gonna give up on you, on me or on us, ok sunshine?”

..”okay”, you repeat rubbing your temples

“Head hurt, darling?”

“yes”

“From crying too hard?”

You nod, looking away in shame, “It’s okay, I’ll get your Migrane cap from the freezer and i’ll set your pillows up how you like, just sit tight”, he says it standing then pausing at the doorway, looking over his shoulder, “I love you”

“luv you—

“Hmm? What was that, I couldn’t hear you” he exclaims

“I said love you gosh.. shut up”, you barely crack a smile

That was enough to get him through the rest of the night.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x disabled!reader #steve harrington x ill!reader #tw sui talk #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x gn!reader #tw sick mention #mental health awareness #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x chronically!ill reader #steve harrington x sick reader #steve harrington angst #stranger things #joe keery #chronic pain issues #bpd #spoonie

[igotanidea]

Trauma : Batboys x PTSD!fem!s/o

platonic version was here, but since @ultravioletqueen asked me to make a bit more advanced in terms of relationship here's how I see the romantic verse. And I took a bit different approach to this one.

Please, be aware that my knowledge about PTSD is limited, but I know about panic attack and anxiety so the story may be a bit more of the second kind.

Also, I'm biased towards Jay and I'm not sorry for that.

DICK

"I'm back!" his yelling came from the door and judging by the tone someone may think that he was gone for a week not just for an hour-long shopping. But when she did not response straight away some strange feeling grew in his stomach. "Y/N? Baby?"

'I...... I'm here......." the faintest of the voices came from the kitchen and he rushed there, still in his jacket and shoes, not caring about the risk of sploching the floor.

"It's happening again?" he asked, falling onto his knees on the floor next to her and she just nodded "Oh, my baby, you poor thing. Can I hug you?"

"Yes, please" she clung onto him with all the force she could gather in this weakened state, sobbing and shaking while he was rubbing her back, holding her tightly against his chest and kissing the top of her head repeatedly.

"I'm sorry" she cried "I'm sorry, it just won't go away after all this time. I'm sorry there's something wrong with me, that I'm broken. I'm sorry...."

"Stop it." she whispered, tightening the grip, but making sure it was stil comfortable for her and not suffocating. "You're not broken. You're just scarred and it makes you who you are. It makes you the person I love. The sensitive, helpful person who despite everything see the good in the world and fights to make it a better place for people. The person I chose to be with."

"Dickie....." she cried even more, hiding face in his shirt.

"Sh..." he cooed "Let it out. Let it all out. I'm here for you, love."

"But....."

"You don't have to talk. Unless you want to. Do you want to?"

"No."

"Then I'll just stay with you. For whatever long you need me. Hopefully, forever?"

"I don't ever want you to go." with every shook of her body, his heart skipped a bit. She shouldn't have been through all this pain and trauma, but there was no way he could change the past. The only thing he was capable of was making sure that the future held as many positive feelings and memories as possible.

"That's good. Cause I am one hell of a hard one to get rid of." he smiled. "Let;s get you off this floor and to bed, all right?"

"Mhm....." she muttered and Dick just picked her up, bridal style carrying her to the bedroom, covering with blanket and snuggling next to her in attempt to provide her with love, comfort and safety.

JASON

"Why are you up?"

"AH! What the fuck Jay?!" the cloth she had in one hand fell to the floor as she used the fork she had in the other as a potential weapon.

"It's 2 am. Why are you up?" Jason asked again

"And why are you here?" she crossed arms over chest, pouting, eyeing him up and down, still in his Red Hood gear "shouldn't you be patrolling?"

"I was in the neighbourhood. Saw a light here and came to check on you, you're welcome."

"Well as you can see I am perfectly fine, so you can go back to whatever you were doing....." she turned around towards the sink and resumed her cleaning fit. At 2 am. Jason's eyes travelled around the counter, crammed with dinnerrware she was frantically washing. Something was definitely wrong.

"Y/N" he spoke softly

"What?" she snapped, harsher than intended and the sound of her own voice made her sigh and rub the forehead "I told you I'm fine."

"Come with me" he tossed her the spare helmet lying on the shelf, nearby and she involuntarily caught it. At the same time he threw away his Red Hood helmet and jacket and changed it into civilian counterparts.

'Where.....?

"Just come with me" he grabbed her hand and practically dragged her out, into his motorcycle, forcing her to sit behind him. "Just hold on tight, all right, sweetie?"

They were speeding throught Gotham's streets, Jason focused on the road and Y/N's embrace on his waist. She was having an episode, he could tell. And damn the patrol, she always came first to him. So he dropped everything to just get her into the top of the highest building in Gotham. To get some perspective.

"Jay, why are we here?" she asked, voice trembling, looking down at the city, filled with lights "Wow. I never thought Gotham could actually look this beautiful. But still, why are we here?" she slightly moved away from the edge of the building. It was high and she did not want to fall off.

"When I came back from the death" he started, taking a place next to her reaching for her hand and intertwining their fingers together "I had flashbacks of what happened with Joker. Heavy ones. And the only way I knew how to deal with them was running away. As far as possible. So this...." he waved his hand around "was my safe place. Somewhere I came to calm down, somewhere peaceful and quiet and out of everyone's reach. No one knew about it, so they were out of my hair."

"But now I know....."

"You're the exception to every rule I set for myself."

"Jason....." she muttered, moving closer to him, resting head on his shoulder and feeling his arm sneak around her waist.

"And then you came into my life and became my anchor." he continued "I didn't need this place anymore. Look, baby, I know what it feels like to relive the past, all right? And I don't want that for you. So that's why we are here. To get away." he kissed top of her head affectionately "I won't let anyone hurt you, hope you know that. Even if that means saving you from yourself."

"Jay....." she whispered again, tilting her head up and their gazes met.

"Yes, princess?"

"I love you....."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

TIM

"Bruce, please, please, don't make me attend the gala."

"cut it, Y/N. You are going. You are the only one that I can actually believe will not turn it into a circus show.

And just like that, poor girl ended up at the annual Wayne Gala, dressed up from head to toe, feeling like a kid in her mother's clothes. Pretending to be someone else, someone confident, elegant, laid-back and maybe a bit conceited. She was Wayne Enterprises top employees, she should have known better than to beg Bruce to cut her some slack.

Instead, she was doing rounds and rounds, talking to potential investors, trying to charm her way into their hearts. All with the brightest smile on her face. The smile that could never reach her eyes, which slowly started to give away how terrified she truly was. It was suffocating.

"If you'll gentlemen excuse me for a second." she grinned politely finishing one of her countless converstations "I need to go to the ladies room."

While the guest just nodded in understatement, Bruce was far from letting her get a break.

"Y/N." he appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her elbow "There's one more group I need you to charm, all right?"

"Bruce...." she whined "please...."

"Just this one. I promise, Y/N."

"All..... all right" she stuttered and putting on her proffesional face approached three older men standing by the window. At first, it was easy to cover up for her shaking hands and trembling legs but then one of her interlocutors used some ill-fated words which triggered memories from the past.

"What do you think about that Miss Y/L/N?"

"I......" she tried to form a sentence but it felt like someone punched the air out of her lungs and like the world was spinning. However, just one glance at the man in front of her told her he did not notice a thing. Damn it she was good at pretending. "I think....."

"I think it's a proposition worth considering, Mr Jacobs." a warming touch to her forearm, a soft voice in her ear and the sense of someone's calming presence next to her grounded her immidiately. She sighed deeply and Tim squeezed her hand reassuringly, almost like he was trying to say I'm here now. He noticed her symptoms even from the other side of the room.

"Mr. Drake. Such a pleasure to see you. I was just explaining to this young lady here......"

"Y/n is an exeptional mind. My father and I really trust her opinions so if she thinks it's something to invest it, we surely will. Now if you excuse us, I really need to take something up with my girl." his hand travelled up to her waist when he slowly led her out of the prying eyes of the guests to the more secluded part of the manor.

"Are you all right, Y/N" he asked sitting her onto the stool and handling her a glass of cold water which she gladly accepted, sipping on it.

"I'm better now." she smiled faintly "how did you know?"

"'Cause no matter how many people I was talking to tognight, my focus was on you. Like always" he looked down, cheeks a bit flushed with the confession. "I know about your triggers, I know you asked Bruce not to come here tonight and I just ......"

"Tim. Tim, look at me." he raised his head to face her, face turning even more red when she cupped his cheek gently and rested her forehead on his "have I ever told you how great detective you are?"

"I don't mind listening to it a couple more times." he leaned into her touch.

"I can keep telling you that all night if it means we don't have to go back there."

"I'm pretty sure the other members of the family can handle this for a while, don't you?" he smiled and leaned forward to close the distance between them.

DAMIAN

he's obviously aged up

Sounds of punching and kicking were echoing through the training room in the manor. Y/N was not the one to use it very often since she as far from strength workout focusing rahter of speed and flexibility, but being in a very complicated relationship with the youngest son of Gotham's richest came with some benefits. Like now, when she was struggling with her PTSD and anxiety hitting on her again. Being the fighter she was, she decided to hit back. Literally. By putting on leisurewear and stand against some virtual opponents. Little did she know that there was a quiet figure standing behind her back watching her every move. She should have sensed him, she was trained it that, but once her mind started working against her it was like she was transferred to another reality. Only her and her memories, pain, fear and all the bad emotions. Maybe that was why despite being in quite good shape she was panting, sweating and shaking more than usual.

"I hate you...." she cried kicking another AI opponent "I.... I hate you...." single tear flew down her cheek but she not let any other appear.

"I don't think they care about your hatred" Damian smirked moving towards the center of the room "you should really control your feelings here Y/n."

"You don't know...."

"Oh I know. I know you are way to much in your head right now."

"Do you?" she scoffed, standing in the power position dead set on not letting him intimidate her.

"I do." he nodded, turning a bit more serious "And I mean it, if you don't get your ass out of your head you are going to hurt yourself. Or worse, get hurt. Or, the worst, humiliate yourself."

"Watch your words, Wayne!" she clenched her fists, anger seething through her every pore.

"Look at yourself" he smirked "wrong posture, overwhelmed with feelings, missed punches. Don't you think you should have just stick to being ordinary girl? Batman seems like too high tresholds for you."

"Is that what you think?" her eyes widened. Damian was not exactly known for his social skills, but she thought he might treat her differently. After all they were toghether, so why? And to add up to it, they were alone. There was no need to show this side of him, it was Y/N who he was talking to. And those words of his hurt. Probably more than she wanted to admit. And it made her face the reality or rather crash with the reality. Was she really not good enough? Subconciosly she started to recall all the latest things she did to help Batman and Robin and could not remember any mistakes. "Dami?"

"Of course not." he spoke calmly approaching her.

"So why did you say it?"

"Tell me where are you?"

"What?" she frowned. He did not make any sense.

"Where are you?" he repeated, eyes fixed on her confusied face

"At the manor?" she hesitated, not sure where all of this was going.

"And where were you a couple minutes ago?"

"Oh....." now she realised. What he said and most importanly how he said it, had one single purpose - bring her back. Make her think rationally and logically. And it did.

"Look, Y/N. I've been trained by the assassins, I'm still learning about.... you know....relations. But I try, all right?"

"I know you are. And I ....."

"Let me finish" he cut her off. "If there's anyone I want to learn with it's you, ok? But for now, I can only do as much as helping you ground. By being harsh sometimes. And.....I'm sor...." he stuttered "Nah, I'm not gonna say it."

"I don't want you too" she laughed wholeheartedly "that would be so out of character."

"You want to spar with me, Y/L/N?" he asked handling her some weapons and gently brushing his fingers over hers.

"Coming from you it sounds like a proposal."

"Don't get ahead of yourself Y/L/N".

#batboys x reader #batboys x batsis #batfamily x reader #batsis #batfam x batsis #batfam x reader #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #timothy drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin dc #batboys x y/n #batboys x you #batfam x you #batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #dc imagine #dc x reader #batboys #dick grayson x reader #jason todd x reader #tim drake x reader #damian wayne x reader #robin x reader #red robin x reader

[amphiptere-art]

Black Star is sitting on one of the benches in the pizza plex. Seemingly almost falling asleep. Looks awkwardly painful but he seems comfy. He's awoken very abruptly by happy roars. Ravenous speeds past. Shaking the whole hallway. Black Star holding onto the bench to keep his balance until the rumbling stops. He lets out a exhausted sigh. Trying to comfy on the bench again. Ignoring the other footsteps that pass by. Believing there simply one of the others trying to keep track of ravenous. Although he stiffens in surprise on the footprints stop and a voice calls out to him.

Are you all right there? You don't look exactly comfortable? If you're taking a nap then shouldn't you go to your room and be in bed?

Black star snarls. Sitting up on the bench. His body tensing in an aggressive manner.

I'm fine where the fuck I am. Go chase your brother or whatever. Leave me alone.

DH Earth gets an angry face. Stiffening up and looking like she's going to follow Ravenous. Although she stops. She shakes her head with a snarl and looks back towards Black Star.

You know what. What is your problem!? I haven't done anything to you! I've heard a thousand times that you've had some issues in the past. Blue Moon's terrified of me. I'm not an idiot. But it's been months. It's been literal months and you still hold on to this anger. You fight with me and kick me out of every room! I have a right to feel comfortable here! I've been trying to respect your space. How about you give me some!

Black Star growls. Backing up further on the bench. Claws slightly unsheathing.

I don't have to give you anything! You already get everything in the world, All you earths do. You just have to stay away from me and my brother and there won't be any issues.

Well why don't you try and stay away from me for a change!

I have been!

No you haven't. The only time you do was when I am somewhere before you are there. But no if I walk in a room with you suddenly I have to get out.

That's fair! We're avoiding each other the same way.

And what if I have to go to the other side of the room. What if we're both invited. Every single time that's happened I'm the one kicked out. But no my brother gets to stay. Do you realize how much they whine about the fact I'm not there!

In my opinion they'd be better off without you.

Oh shut up! I'm not like your Earth. I don't care how similar our worlds are. I cared for a ravenous. I still care for ravenous! Why the hell can you not give me that!

Because all you Earths are a scam!

No we aren't! I'm an exception! I'm the difference! Every other Earth I've ever heard of is a kind, blind, bludgering idiot! Every other Earth in this goddamn multiverse can't even make up a lie for their own good. They might be truthful to a terrible fault, but they out of everyone are the most kind in this whole goddamn multiversal family! You're supposed to be the one that knows everything about the multiverse! How do you not realize this!

Black Star snarls. Standing up attempting to look intimidating to DH Earth. It does not come off well due to his smaller size. DH Earth holds her ground.

I do realize it and I don't care! I'm forced to be in your presence in three different dimensions! You could at least give me some care here.

Then can you give me some care!

DH Earth brings up her hands into fists. Clearly angry. Black Star attempts to back up. Falling down on the bench though forgetting it was behind him. Bringing his hands up defensively.

(And now I'm going to give a bit of a pause if you guys want to send over some sort of moderator. @digimonlover09 @sigery)

#sams #tsams #tsams au #sams au #red blue and black #crossover story #desolate hunger #Let's see if we can repair Black Stars relationships with Earth's.

[darkphoenix07]

Elixir of🕸️Death (J.W.)

A vampire series by @darkphoenix07

Mental health requests

Masterlist

Paring : Wooyoung x Reader

Genre : Dark Romance, Fantasy, Tragedy

Song suggestion 🎶 : Round and Round by Heize, War of hearts by Ruelle and Shameless by Camila

Warning: Mentions of blood, Violence, Degradation, Death, Mention of suicide, Mention of self harm, Mention of death, Suicidal FL. Synopsis: When the girl who doesn't have any will to live meets the demon whose only wish to slaughter humans. "How will it help me if I drain your blood right now when I can use you anyway I want to?" - Jung Wooyoung

🍷"To the people who craves comfort and single reason to keep themselves alive" 🍷

Chapter 1

"I wasn't in the depth until I met you

Then you drown me saying I am shallow

Maybe I went deeper then

Hoping to meet you again"

He keeps wondering why he is watching you drown instead of going home. He keeps staring at the little glimpse of your body going under. It's dark even though he can see you. What's worse is that your eyes are open now but you are not fighting or screaming to help you. You are going with the depth.

"I am going to kill you with my own hands," he says before jumping in the river.

You see him swimming to get you moving the water around him. It's dark but his eyes are glowing in the dark river. It's easily understandable whose eyes those are.

You feel a pair of hands pulling your hands and your body landing on a chest while your hair keeps floating in the water, playing with the little waves.

Then he pulls himself up with you in his arms like you were meant to fit here.

He moves fast inside his house and places you on the couch first. But you have lost your senses again because of how cold the water was and how long you were inside.

He starts pressing your chest, "Wake up, I am not done with you yet."

He keeps pressing but seeing you not responding at all, he gets scared.

"I am not going to drown you ever again so get up human. Why are you so fragile?"

Suddenly your body jerks off and you start coughing water.

"Thank christ," Wooyoung says falling beside you watching you coughing still.

You look at him feeling annoyed, "Why the fuck did you bring me up?"

"I just saved your life. Don't you have any gratitude?"

"You are the person who threw me, didn't you? Why didn't you let me stay there?"

"What?"

"Why did you save me?"

"Because you can't die yet," he says with rage in his voice.

"You are not supposed to tell me that. You were supposed to drain me. What happened to that?"

"I am not your servant. Care about your language or else it will get dirty," he says gritting his teeth as he speaks.

"Let me go or else I will kill you myself," you tell him as a warning though you know you can't.

"You have warm blood in your vessels. Do you think that can kill a cold one? What do you take me for?"

"An asshole!" You scream getting up.

"I will taste you death again and again until you can't take it anymore. Then I will  bury you alive," he tells you when he is almost an inch away from me.

"It won't taste bitter when I have already tasted it," you are freezing because of your wet clothes but you don't want to look weak in front of him. So you try not to stammer.

"It wi-what?"

He catches you words and you look away realizing what you said. You promised yourself to keep all these a secret but here you are again letting it out in front of someone you don't even know very well.

"Just fuck off and let me do whatever I want to do, moron."

"I would be careful choosing my words if I were you," he says but this time his voice is calm again.

You look him in the eye, "I am tired of choosing my words. I have no reason to choose my words in front of you."

"Enough of your disgraceful words. Go upstairs and change your clothes or I will do it for you. I am positive that it will not be suitable for you."

"My clothes, my wish. Go to hell," you stand up and start to walk but you feel light headed as you haven't healed from his earlier blood sucking.

You almost fall but he grabs your arms making you lean on his chest, "Look at you being half dead already."

"Let me finish the other half, I beg you," you tell him staring at him. You don't understand why he looks finer than before standing there like a sculpture.

"Change your clothes, I'll keep one in your room," he says and you stand up.

"Don't order me around. Your words mean nothing to me," you say walking away from him.

You don't understand what you are doing being with him. Maybe you want to go home now and leave this hell. But then you wonder which is worse kind of hell.

After a couple of hours, Wooyoung finds you looking outside the window sitting on his bed. You don't know yet that you are in his room. You only know he has kept you here so it was your only place.

"I have told you to do something," He says and you look at him holding an ancient kind of dress. It's a gothic gown with chiffon fabric, the sleeves are loose and twisted around the elbow area, it's long but maybe slitted.

You wonder how he found this out in this century. It's like a halloween costume of a evil witch.

"Human, if you do not obey me then I might make you drink poison slowly so you do not die at once. Only suffer slowly and very painfully," he says and throws the gown on his bed.

"Can you just leave me alone?"

You are shivering from cold but you don't want to dress up. You want to be in this dress and finish it at once.

"Dress up and wash yourself with warm water or else you'll die a painful death," he says looking furious at you.

"If I am annoying you why don't you finish me off at once," you ask him while your teeth are gritting because of the cold wind outside.

"Because that won't give me pleasure. So, get inside the hot tub and get dressed," he says.

You look away wanting to avoid his glowing gaze but he suddenly appears in front of you making you fall on the bed.

"Trust me, human. I didn't want to do this," he says and the next thing you know is his hand on your stomach area ripping your dress apart staring at you.

"What the fuck is your problem!!!!" You scream realizing you ripped you dress revealing a bit too much skin of yours.

But he doesn't look at your body, he doesn't touch anything.

He only says, "I can make you do anything I want to. Don't take me for a play thing, Dead human. It will only cause you pain."

Before you can say anything, he disappears in a blink of your eyes. You keep lying there for a while realizing you mistake of coming here. But you don't understand why he is so obsessed with you. Why did he throw you in the river and why did he save you?

You slowly get up and take the dress still thinking about how he is treating you. He doesn't even hurt you. He screams at you when you are being hurtful towards you. It's not normal for a monster to take care of someone, is it?

Or he is taking care of his daily meal. Maybe that's why. Maybe he wants to use you. That is why he can't kill you.

You take a shower and put the dress. Something about the ribbons on the back of your dress is making you confused. You somehow tied them but they are making you feel uncomfortable.

You didn't want to worry anymore about your dress and so, you leave the room and find yourself in the corridor. You look down to see where he was and he was sitting by the fireplace reading a book looking mesmerizing as always.

It's weird how he treats you. He speaks about scaring you, torturing you. But he doesn't do any of these. He can take advantage of you and you won't even be able to escape his mansion. But he didn't even look at your bare stomach when he ripped your dress or touch your skin.

He only touched your bare skin when you made him so angry that he took your blood. But maybe you passed out too quickly that he didn't even finish draining you. He stopped midway.

What does he want from you?

"Stop staring at me and have your dinner. I have brought some warm food for you," his voice echoes in the hallway and your heart keeps thumping in your heart like a drum with his each words.

"I-I am coming," you don't know why but listening to him sounds like a good idea.

So you sit in the big dinning table for around twelve people and start eating. The food is so tasty that it melts in your mouth. You haven't been this much hungry for a long time and so you finish everything at once.

You don't even notice when he sits on the other side of the dinning table and keeps watching you eat like a madwoman.

As you drink water, you notice him by the corner of your eyes. You stop drinking water and look at him clearly.

"Why are you staring at me?" You ask.

"I am thinking how many days it will take for your body to make new blood so I can take from you again," he says intertwining his hands under his chin.

"You are serious about making me your meal," you tell him finally realizing that's what he wants from you.

"To be honest, I want to see you blood while I take your heart out but I do not understand why it is difficult for me," he says it like a normal thing, like he is talking about killing an insect.

It gives you shiver but you don't hate the idea either.

"I will be honored," you tell him smiling and suddenly see him beside your chair.

"Tell me, Human. How many times did you have the taste of death?" He asks you leaning towards.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because that's the only reason you want to embarrass it like a loved one."

You think something inside you got hit by his words.

"Because that's the only reason you want to embarrass it like a loved one."

"Tell me, Human. I am a little curious," he asks you breaking your thoughts.

"Four times. First one wasn't bad but last one was."

"Did people save you?"

"Yes, saved my body."

"I saw your soul dead when you walked in my house," he says and looking up in his eyes starts making you feel hurt in your chest. You don't remember when was the last time you felt something like this.

"Tell me what else did you see?" Now you are curious about how he sees you or maybe how he sees through you without knowing about a thing.

"The cuts in your hands."

"Tell me something I don't see," you stand up still looking up at him.

"How desperately your body craves touch," his voice is warm ringing inside your ears.

"That's a lie."

It's a lie.

"How cold you not because of the weather but it's just you," he tells you.

"What else?"

"How beautiful those lips are and how you looked at mine a million of times by now."

"More."

"Your heart is making a hole inside your chest. It's deep, dirty and bleeding which I can not stop with any medicine."

"More."

"You don't want to die. You want to feel safe again inside your skin."

"Continue."

"You want to brush my lips with yours to melt my coldness with yours."

You grab his collar pulling him closer to you, "How do you know this?"

"Because I am feeling the same rage inside my dead heart."

You think your stomach feels bad but it's just his words giving you butterflies. It's like a zoo of them inside your stomach and your heart is another lose cause.

"Stay away from me," you push him away from you and start to walk but he stands in front of you.

"Deny it and I will leave you alone to die," he tells you and you grab your dress.

"I don't want you like that. You are a psychotic menace," you tell him and the corner of his mouth lifts up.

"Alright then. You have a little problem with the ribbons behind your back. Let me fix that first," he doesn't give you time to say anything. He reaches behind you and starts undoing the ribbons.

"Hold your dress or it might fall," he warns you and you grab it from your chest area.

When he finishes untying your ribbons, you feel his coldness on your bare back. You have stopped caring about him looking at your back. All you can care about is how painful it is to tolerate him near you while his fingers are grazing you slowly while he is tying the ribbons back.

"Stop squirming."

"I am not," your body is tensed and your shoulders are stiff. You don't know what to do at this point.

When he is at the end of the ribbon, he places his chin in the crook of your neck, "We can make an arrangement between us."

"What kind of arrangement?"

"I will give you death on the next month on this same day if you start giving me what I want."

You want to look back at him but he pulls you back making your back hit his chest.

"It depends on what you will want."

"I want your elixir and in exchange I will give you the elixir of death."

"Say it in normal English not ancient," your dark humor is making it worse but you can't help it.

"I want your body, I want you to obey me for one month and I will give you death right after one month," he says all these very calmly and your heart rate goes higher than before making your body freeze.

"What if I deny?"

"I will take you to your home and drop you safely. It's your choice now."

"You don't want to hurt me?"

"I have no reason to hurt you," he has millions of reasons but nothing makes him hurt you.

"What if I stop midway? What if I tell you I don't want it on some points?"

"I am a monster, Y/n but not that kind."

His words hit you more when he says your name for the first time.

"You want this too, don't you? A little adventure before you die?"

He asks you as he finishes tying the last ribbon.

You nod without telling anything and he smiles leaving you.

He switches in front of you and moves a strain of your hair from your forehead, "Then live for one month like you have always wanted to. I give you my word that I will do whatever you want me to do on this day right after one month and I will not do anything that will add into more of your trauma."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Trust me, Y/n. I have been there and it didn't end well. I am giving you a chance."

"Are you pitying me?"

"Do you think wanting to have sex with you is pitying you?"

You gulp hearing him, "No."

"Then? Who do you think I am doing this for?"

"For yourself, you selfish piece of-"

"I would like to add one more thing," he sighs, "Do not use your poor language when you speak in front of me."

"How do I know you won't break your promise?"

"Look at your hand and then mine. You will understand why."

You look down and see red glowing string around your ring finger connected to his. It gives you goosebumps, how warm your body suddenly feels.

"It's like an oath from me. If I break it, I will die an anonymous and painful death."

"You will be disappointed, I can assure you."

"Why would I he disappointed?"

"The hidden parts aren't as good as this," you show him your hand where you have cuts.

"I have seen worse than this. Do not pity yourself yet."

"Good for you."

"Now go upstairs and have some sleep. I will take you somewhere tomorrow."

"Alright," you tell him and start passing him slowly.

"Y/n."

You stop moving as he calls you. His voice sounded shaky but careful.

"There is something on your lips."

He appears in front of your once again and wipes a little bit of skin from your lips by his thumb.

Your lips so dry but your mouth gets watery watching him staring at your lips with so much delicacy.

He wants me, he wants me, he wants me.

Your mind becomes a mess but he doesn't even move towards you. He keeps brushing his thumb on your bottom lip.

"Don't you think it's gone?"

You ask him and he slowly says, "Yes, I think so," but he can't take his eyes off of your lips.

You part your lips open and his thumb slightly touches the inner side of your bottom lip making his thumb wet.

He leans over you pressing his thumb a little more inside your mouth touching your tongue, "Tell me Human, do you want elixir of heaven?"

You gulp not knowing what to do with your tongue as it's on fire right now.

But you nod slowly and he looks at you with a bitter smile that kicks you starting to weaken your knees.

He takes thumb out of your mouth and wraps his around your waist.

As he pulls you closer to his body, he whispers into your ear, "Are you strong enough to take me all night because I am a monster you know?"

He looks at you leaving you speechless while you reply,

"You sure are one."

Do you want me to continue? Please hype me 😭 or I else I'll feel like stopping here.

Spoiler of next chapter 🤙🖤

#ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez yunho #ateez hongjoong #ateez smut #ateez san #ateez seonghwa #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez yeosang #ateez jongho #ateez woosan #ateez imagines #ateez series #ateez au #ateez vampire au #ateez x reader #ateez ff #ateez fic #ateez #wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung #wooyoung #wooyoung x y/n #wooyoung x you #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung x san #woosan

[campgender]

Hi, my friend has a chronic illness that flares up sometimes and we've been wanting to hang out but it has gotten cancelled a couple times lately bc of her not feeling well enough on the day. I want to ask her how she feels cuz I care abt her a lot and want an update but 1, I don't want her to feel pressured or like I'm asking just to ask can we hang out now, and not bc I care abt how she's feeling (does that make sense? I may be overthinking this) and 2, I genuinely wanna know how she's doing but idk what to say if she responds with her not being better, sometimes u don't feel better and that's ok but I always want to offer comfort somehow or just convey my friendship? but I feel the same everytime and don't want to sound repetitive ?

Any thoughts?

this is really kind of you & it means so much to me that you want to support your friend & are putting so much thought into it! my response is inherently based in my own experience to an extent & everybody’s different, but a lot if not all of this is stuff i’ve heard regularly from other chronically ill people. of course, don’t say anything you don’t mean – if some of this isn’t the case for you, just adapt accordingly :)

i understand worrying about being repetitive but i think that’s totally okay to do! for one thing, it can be difficult to remember things period when you’re ill, especially during a flare, & for another, internalized + societal ableism is a hell of a force. it never hurts to have a reminder that not everyone is trying to force ableist expectations onto you + your friendship & that someone cares about you!

i think you can definitely tell your friend pretty much what you told me! like, “hey, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling up for responding but i just wanted to check on you! not trying to pressure you to hang out or anything, i just care about you & how you’re doing”

honestly the most important + supportive thing people have ever told me is that it’s okay if the answer is “bad.” i’m literally like surprised pikachu meme every time somebody offers to let me vent about having a rough time & then it helps me just to talk about it. it’s really socially unacceptable to talk about chronic pain & a lot of people get frustrated when you’re complaining about the same thing & there’s not really anything they can do, so just the opportunity to be like “yeah shit fucking sucks right now” means a lot.

obv the appropriateness of this depends on the person & their relationship to disability but most of the time i’m very like, radical acceptance / embracing / etc about the fact that i’m probably just gonna get sicker, so sometimes when i’m having a rough time emotionally & am like “what if i’m this bad for the rest of my life” my gf (who doesn’t have chronic pain / chronic illness) will say something like “then i can’t wait to be there with you ❤️” & it’s more meaningful to me than i can begin to put into words.

again everybody’s different but for me one of the biggest things is when disability stuff just… isn’t a big deal to the other person. which, it’s totally okay for you to need support from others when someone you care about is going through a hard time & when things change! but abled people are constantly horrified about like, every aspect of my life, so being able to talk casually about symptoms & somebody mirror the mood / tone i set – laugh if i’m joking, be upset about the ableism i experience & not my body itself if i’m complaining about people being weird about it, taking things as they come – is so affirming.

other things that have been helpful + meaningful for me are friends sending me notes, stickers, & art in the mail – having something tangible can make me feel more “real” & part of the world, something i struggle with due to being homebound – & peer support around medical neglect, which often just looks like talking to someone after a doctor’s appointment & them reaffirming my reality / experiences & saying i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

oh one other change in language i’ve made over time & probably picked up from a few other ill people in my life is a sort of realistic encouragement – there’s not necessarily anything wrong with “i hope you feel better soon!” because like, i get that the message is well-intentioned, but it can be awkward & difficult to receive when you don’t know if that’s gonna happen. instead, i try to tell people something like “i hope you get a bit of relief soon” or “i hope things are a little easier tomorrow.” a 7/10 pain day may be horrifying for most people, but when you’ve had a streak of 9s, it can be a much-needed taking the edge off, & i try to make space for that breadth of experience in my language.

i’ve answered a few similar questions before so i’ll add my “asks” & “faq” tags on my chronic illness blog in the reblogs if you want to browse! much love to you & your friend and feel free to lmk if you have any other questions 💓💓

#asks #chronic illness