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thestarsarealigning · 6 months

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The signs when they are sharing French fries with a foodie sibling and they leave the room for a moment and then when they come back ALL the fries are gone

lmao alright lets do it

The signs when their fries were stolen by a sibling

Aries: *orders three more packs that they will not share one single piece of out of principle*

Taurus: "Did you know that a single fry has over 300 calories? Good luck loosing that again. What? I'm just being informative!"

Gemini: *makes fun of their sibling and steals their toy*

Cancer: doesn't realize there were fries before, forgot all about them during their daydream break

Leo: "How. Dare. You." (starts fight in the middle of the restaurant)

Virgo: "yeah whatever let's go get icecream next you punk"

Libra: *sighs very deeply* "...i guess you needed these more than me"

Scorpio: (offish) "cool cool cool. You'll pay for a new pack for me, or i'll tell mom you snuck out last week. No i'm serious."

Sagittarius: *stands up and leaves and doesn't stop until the sibling runs after them with sincere apologies*

Capricorn: (a single tear rolls down their cheek) "I literally worked for these. What did you do? Did you ever work? I don't care that you're nine, Charlie, doing nothing won't get you ahead in life"

Aquarius: "These fries were honestly the only good thing about today. How could you do this to me"

Pisces: (lovingly) "Are you finally full now?"

#horoscope #zodiac #silly horoscope #funny horoscope #random #horoscope meme #zodiac signs #star signs #sun moon rising #sun sign #astro blog #astrology #the stars are aligning #starsign #daily horoscope

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ilovemesomevincentprice · 25 days

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Vincent Price as Vincent Van Ghoul

13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo (1985)

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flannyjanny · 3 months

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harmoonix · 11 months

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💅🏼Astro Funny Memes💅🏼

Part II

Takes these with a grain of salt please, because this post is only for entertainment and funny purposes!

"Look this is my crush"\Scorpio, Gemini, Aries and Leo Sun/Venus/Mars reaction:

"I like this guy, what do you think of him"?

Capricorn/Virgo/Libra and Scorpio placements reaction to that:.

Mars - Uranus aspects, Mars in the 10th house/Mars - MC aspects/Mars in Fire signs or Fire Degrees dancing in their room be like

Venus in the air houses or fire houses [3rd, 7th, 11th houses, 1st, 5th, 9th houses] Venus in Air or Fire Signs/Air & Fire Risings trying to be social be like

Rare footage of Taurus, Leo, Aries and Aquarius placements when they meet with their friends

Capricorn, Pisces, Leo/Scorpio Moons/Placements/5th house placements/Moon in the 10th, 12th, 5th, 8th houses trying to escape the urge to not be possessive and clingy

Venus in Scorpio/Cancer/Libra/Sagittarius, Venus - Pluto aspects/Pluto - Moon aspects/ Pluto or Venus in the 8th/11th houses/Saturn Venus harsh aspects/Saturn in the 5th or 7th house trying to not fall for toxic partners in relationships

Mercury/Moon/Sun in the 11th house/Aquarius, Aries and Cancer placements/Mercury - Venus aspects trying to not be violent when someone talks bad about their friends be like

Venus - Moon aspects/Moon - Mercury aspects/Moon in the 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th houses/ Moon in Libra/Pisces and Capricorn/Cancer after they give too many chances to the wrong people be like:

10th house placements/Fire and Earth placements/MC - Pluto aspects/Pluto - Ascendant aspects/ Pluto - Mars/ Pluto - Uranus aspects trying to not make it obvious when they don't like someone

Here is Part 1 in case you missed it 💁🏻‍♀️💖

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aashiyancha · 3 months

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Happy (Late) Birthday Ares

masterpost link here if you'd like to see some more rf5 doodles

#rune factory 5 #rune factory #rf5 ares #rf5 alice #rf5 #aashi doodles #fanart #fancomic #this was sitting in draftland for a bit #his birthday is november 10 in real calendar cuz he's an emotionally intense scorpio #horoscopes are pretty fun for characters #alice doesn't remember her birthday so has been using the spring 1 placeholder #which for this fic's purpose is gonna be april 1st cuz it matches their first day in town better #and I find it so funny that the sign that feels like fits her best in my head is Aries when her bother's name is Ares hahaha XD #tho leo fits her pretty well too i think #firey girl haha

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tenaciouswhispersjellyfish · 4 months

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#humor #funny shit #funny #lol #dank memes #haha #meme #memes #funny stuff #horoscope today #...#...yeah

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genuinebluff · 2 years

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Genuine Zodiac Signs

Unused Printer Ink Cartridge: January 20 – February 18

Stain of Unknown Origin: February 19 – March 20

Wooden Stool from my Grandma's House: March 21 – April 19

Cast Iron Cornbread Pan : April 20 – May 20

0.5 lb of Sushi Grade Salmon: May 21 – June 20

Small Green Pencil Sharpener: June 21 – July 22

Block of Velveeta Cheese: July 23 – August 22

Pair of Dirty Leather Gloves: August 23 – September 22

Bar of Unscented Hand Soap: September 23 – October 22

Guy Fieri's Sunglasses: October 23 – November 21

Thoroughly Squeezed Tube of Toothpaste: November 22 – December 21

Mostly Empty Takeout Container: December 22 – January 19

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whetstonefires · 1 year

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What is your Hogwarts house?

I don't think that's considered a question in good taste anymore lmao.

And, actually, I never liked it much even as a kid, because sorting discourse did not adhere to the framework shown in the text. It consistently drifted to rigorous application of the ruleset laid out by the hat in its little song, which was blatantly called out as a convenient simplification about one page after the formula was originally presented.

Like. The fact that each cohort is broken down into four roughly equal pods and lineage is clearly a major determining factor, as is personal preference, is made clear very early. This is a cultural institution, that shapes the characters who grow within it quite as much as it's assigned based on their innate traits, and within the framework of which people actively look for identity elements to define themselves by.

People in my high school would be sorting adult fictional characters and doing elaborate balancing of their True Natures as revealed by their various plot events and defining life choices and patterns of behavior in their own generally dramatic canons and I'd be like. Okay, what do you think they were like when they were eleven though.

What were their values at eleven? What parts of their potential to be Like That were developed enough to show up on a psychic scan by a sapient hat, at eleven? What backstories are we assuming they're coming into this from; this man is a duke from fantasy medieval europe are we going to analogize him to a posh normie family, or the magic snobs, or are we dimensional-teleporting his baby self into wizard school?

Look, assigning Hogwarts houses to grown-ass adults on the basis of their adult developed identities doesn't make sense, that is very clearly not how anything works, this is a child-sorting algorithm. You have to apply it to children or it's invalid.

...also I was a Ravenclaw. I knew this. Everyone who had ever met me knew this. Any and every online quiz I was convinced to take knew this. I was so boring. I could not even make a serious case for my being one of the people who'd argue my way into another category I was minorly qualified for, or get there on family values or something, because I didn't want to not be a dumb nerd and my family is also dumb nerds. I was such an easy sort it was no fun at all, I was a walking stereotype.

It was embarrassing, is what it was. I was a flat character with no depth, rip child me. It was like if you could fail astrology by adhering precisely to your horoscope.

(My younger sisters wanted to be Gryffindor but consistently tested Hufflepuff and vice versa respectively, and I do not at this time remember which was which. The tests that gave you percentile rankings did give them minors in the ones they wanted tho.)

Anyway looking back on this in reaction to your ask, I find myself reflecting that House affiliation actually worked very much like gender, in that the way it was assigned was treated in-story as being based on absolute inherent qualities that defined a whole person, but quite clearly per the text actually worked by finding a schema you had an acceptable percent overlap with at a young age, and then setting you up to be perceived and instructed through that filter for the rest of your life.

The affiliation had meaning! But it was mostly meaning derived from the affiliation, and its social weight.

The ability of characters to find the sometimes deeply hidden Potential to live up to the person they aspired to be, thereby retroactively justifying the Sorting they had cajoled their way into, is like a major story element, you know?

I feel like this is yet another one of those places where rowling is a fairly gifted drawer of engaging caricatures; where when she was drawing on her actual lived experience (as opposed to hearsay and stereotype) to create something imitating that thing (in this case Belonging To Category) by intuition, the result would have nicely proportioned parts and some solid symbolic details, and work on an internal level more-or-less consistently, if not necessarily according to any strict logic.

Rather than being realistic it had a feeling of reality, which is in itself a perfectly reasonable way to approach light fiction. I often find myself wishing I could work in this more gestural manner sometimes, instead of drilling relentlessly down to detail.

The trouble is that things like those verisimilitudinous gaps between what people do and how they interpret their own doing, which lend the setting a great deal of dynamism, are only sometimes intentional, and the longer she extends any one bit and the more seriously she attempts to take it, the more likely she is to fall into the gaps and loudly deny that she has done any such thing, while digging herself into a pit of stupid.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #harry potter shit #i forgot the word horoscope for fully seven seconds there #i think trans sister wanted to be a hufflepuff #painfully cis ravenclaw is a funny concept tho #note that the funny language used here was not something i was capable of at 14

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asydicsydney · 10 months

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I don't think Lubelle is dead.

We're bringing up the 210 Horoscopes again because it's my favorite thing to bitch about

"Aquarius : You know that one lady who is running a years-long scam on you, carefully harvesting you for personal information that she will someday turn against you for her own profit? Oh you don’t? Well… heads up I guess."

Lubelle never explained anything about Cecil. She got science banned, but she never took down Carlos' true love...or his other love above science, Esteban, also an Aquarius.(When you listen to reason and not #223)

But we also have this: "Taurus: Someone you love will betray you. Or they won’t. One of those two things, it’s unclear which."

Knowing the end of Carlos, Explained now, what if this was tied to Kevin? Or Cecil in relation to Kevin? "One of those two things", maybe one betrays and the other doesn't, and it's unclear to the stars since they're doubles?

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv spoilers #carlos robles #dr janet lubelle #cecil palmer #may i dare mention my hit post about the 40th anniversary of the world ending being this year?#could be something to keep in mind as well #if finknor are cool and remember their lore #if not. we'll remember for them #please give us more crumbs of plot in the horoscopes it's really funny

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plutobutartsy · 7 months

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bible lore is so funny like god really saw the state of humanity and was like yiiiikesss dude. no saving these freaks. death for everybody i think <3 except for my specialest little boy noah :)

#shout out to the bible for having some insanely funny moments #stella's horoscope

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louis-ii-reyes-strand · 7 months

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Thank you @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses @birdclowns @bonheur-cafe for the tags today. You all really hit it out the park with the snippets today!! Thank you for continuing to share, it makes my day 🖤

Carlos and Ana were silent as they watched Jeremy make his way through the crowd of their cousins up to the deck where they were sitting. He had a puzzled sort of expression on his face as he shot glances over his shoulder to where he left his son playing with TK in the grass. “Your boyfriend asked me if I could tell him his horoscope for the day,” Jeremy said. “I thought you said he’d never met Luisa before?” Ana burst out laughing, though she quickly tried to cover it up with a cough and wide, innocent eyes as her husband frowned at her. Carlos shook his head, trying to conceal a love-sick grin at the thought of TK fitting in so seamlessly with his family that he picked up on inside jokes he hadn’t been told about. “He hasn’t.”

tagging @lightningboltreader @reyesstrand @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @welcometololaland but no pressure if you're not wanting to share 🫶🏻 (if you've already posted and i've missed it please let me know!!)

#fic: tangled roots #tarlos fic #kit writes #this fic hit the 15k mark yesterday and there's still so much i want to write for it #to the extent that i am slightly overwhelmed by it but i refuse to cut anything until it's 'finished'#anyway all that is to say please bare with me i don't think this is gonna be done anytime soon #also also in my mind Ana and Jer live half way between Austin and Houston #and Jer works for NASA while Ana teaches English Lit at a community college #which is why the horoscope joke is funny #also also also is it bare or bear? i never know and i can't keep googling it

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thestarsarealigning · 2 years

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Let's play who's the most likely...? with the signs

Who's the most likely... to have (or desperately want!) a mirror on their ceiling over the bed? (Leo)

Who's the most likely... to bring chaos to a family Christmas dinner? (Gemini)

Who's the most likely... to cause drama in a laundry line? (Capricorn)

And who's the most likely to scoff about the laundry drama and find it tremendously entertaining at the same time? (Taurus)

Who's the most likely... to mask for years that they're an FBI agent? (Aquarius)

Who's the most likely... to spontaneously buy a live pig and just keep it in their apartment from that day on? (Sagittarius)

Who's the most likely... to purposely look for pet adoption compilation videos to get themselves into the right emotional state for an argument? (Pisces)

Who's the most likely... to climb out of a bathroom window at a party and escape? (Cancer)

Who's the most likely... to kick off a big fight that the whole school orchestra is involved in, just by one tiny little rumor about one trumpet player that should not have been playing that horn? (Virgo)

Who's the most likely... to blankly stare at the kids they're babysitting while literally watching home fencing lessons on TV and listening to horror stories and honestly not thinking it might be jarring for the kids? (Aries)

Who's the most likely... to break up a wedding, not actively but because the bride suddenly realizes who's she's been passionately in love with all along? (Scorpio)

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archers-and-arrows · 2 months

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the signs (summed up in 4 emojis):

aquarius: 😎🪧🤖🦄

pisces: 😩💭🐟🎸

aries: 🤬🐏💣👧

taurus: 🙂🍔🥪🍕

gemini: 😏👯‍♀️🤥🗣

cancer: 🥲🦀😩😭

leo: 🤩🦁🎤🎭

libra: 😃🥸🙏🤷🏼‍♀️

virgo: 🤨🧐👩‍⚖️📈

scorpio: 😈🔪🔫🦂

sagittarius: 🥳🏹🗺🤪

capricorn: 😐🗂😑😕

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flannyjanny · 3 months

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icarusthelunarguard · 1 year

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This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

This week we’re drawing inspiration from @jokingluna on Tumblr. Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that Bad Jokes are always in season.

Aries

How does one know when a minotaur is about to charge? Because it will send you an invoice first. This week try not to use your credit card. You’re just wearing out the mag-stripe. Unless you have one of those new-fangled NFC ones.

Taurus

More financial humour for you. Why was the mullet audited? Because it did not declare its business up front. This week pay for a proper haircut - some places still offer “Mullet Correction” cuts for $15.

Gemini

We realize you’re having a hard time seeing how these jokes work, so this illuminating one’s for you. What happens to bad rainbows? They get sent to prism. This week stop groaning; you could have asked for something nicer but you didn’t bother. So you got what you paid for.

Cancer Moon-Child

Do you know how many birds it takes to change a lightbulb? Tucan do it. This week buy some spare light bulbs and rechargeable flashlights. With storm season coming up you might need them.

Leo

Why do you make sheep anxious at night? First off, NO, that’s not why! It’s because they know how much you’re always counting on them. This week try to be a little more self reliant… Or just stop drinking coffee an hour before bed.

Virgo

When you were born the doctor said that you might grow between five and six feet. Look at you now - such a disappointment. You’ve still only got two. This week we’re going to up our standards while hoping you’ll up yours too.

Libra

Do you know… The Muffin Man? Do you know what he sleeps under at night? A cookie sheet. This week buy some frozen cookie dough and try not to eat it raw for a change. Unless you’re adding it to ice cream!

Scorpio

Do you remember the original Ghostbusters movie? The team had their first capture in the Sedgewick Hotel. Would that make Slimer an Inn-Spector? This week don’t be a Peck…. No, there’s no “-er” at the end of “Peck” in this case.

Sagittarius

Did you know that a collection of beehives is called an Apiary? Do you know what you call a beehive without any bees? An “EE-hive”. This week find your crystalized honey container and float it in some hot water to reconstitute it.

Capricorn

What medicine is best if you have an allergy to snakes? Anti-hissss-tamines. This week stock up on them since pollen season is just around the corner.

Aquarius

Speaking of which: Hey Aquarius? When’s the best time to use a trampoline? Spring Time. This week make sure yours is in full working order and not going to split the first time you bounce on the canvas.

Pisces

For the last joke, we have one submitted by Maude Pie!

I once took my sister, Limestone, to my joke-telling club. As soon as we sat down at a table somepony stood up and loudly said, “Number Twenty-Seven!” Everypony laughed. Somepony else stood up and called out, “Number One-Forty-Five!” We all laughed again. Limestone was confused and asked what was happening. I explained that we’d all heard so many jokes before that we just keep a list of them and say the number to save time. Limestone looked at the collection on our table, picked a joke, stood up and called, “Number Seventy-Eight!” The room went silent and looked at her as she sat down. She asked me why nopony laughed. I had to explain, “The joke is a classic, but you need to work on your delivery.”

This week, stop ordering from online retailers and deliver your own groceries yourself.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

#horrorscope #horoscope #humor #funny #parody #JokingLuna is a TREASURE #Thank you for all the groans

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funlandflask · 3 months

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OMG!🥱😲😲Those who don't jump will never fly! Fly High! #shorts #shortvide...

#youtube #horoscope today #today #youtube video #funny #trampoline #trampolim #funny stuff #shorts

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