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purgemarchlockdown · 4 months

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Let's Keep It Simple: Power Dynamics in Milgram

(CWs: Ableism, Abuse, Bullying, Unhealthy Power Dynamics)

(This is partially me putting this post and this post together and partially a more cleanly written version of the ideas discussed in this reblog chain and partially additional thoughts after both.)

(Big thanks to: Tsuwmya, Tired-and-unslimed, Archivalofsins and Clownsalot for contributing to the original chain and making this thing much bigger than it would of been otherwise)

(Also big thanks to: Roseofcards90, 1moremilgramenjoyer, Tsuwmya, Tokyogruel and milgram-side-blog for reading this!)

When talking about heroism and the ideas associated with them, it's easy to focus on the altruistic and selfless aspects of it. The ideal of a brave hero selflessly protecting the innocent is an appealing one.

And there's nothing Inherently wrong with wanting to help people! It's good to help people instead of giving up on them. However, being a hero is an ideal, one that no one could live up to without destroying themselves in the process. And the ideal of heroism practiced by the characters in Milgram isn't fully altruistic.

When you are defining your entire sense of self through heroism, you are incentivized to find (or Create) people who are Weaker than you to Validate that sense of self. It's self-serving in a way, this isn't coming from a genuine want to help but a want to feel in power.

Let's consider Yuno's reaction to her voting in T2.

(Yuno T2 VD)

Yuno: Ah, yes yes. Well, this is going to be purely—purely—personal opinion but…I find those kinds of assumptions preachy and unpleasant! They’re worthless! Arbitrarily deciding that I’m pitiable. Arbitrarily making up a backstory for me. Creating a personally idealized version of me. Creating an acceptable version of me. They really exist, you know, those kinds of people. And in particular, those kinds of people…won’t do anything for me.

When you pity someone you implicitly assume they are weaker than You, and are unable to help themselves in any meaningful way. Not only that but Yuno is upset at the creation of a version of her that is "idealized." A version of her that is the easiest to sympathize and pity.

It's dehumanizing in a way. Yuno is being projected onto like an Object, instead of being treated as a person. Her agency is being removed for the sake of an easier narrative. Something more convenient to the people around her.

This is an idea Yuno is intimately familiar with, as she's been repeatedly selling different versions of herself to different people. She gives a version of herself those people Want from her. Yuno dislikes being pitied and infantilized like this. She chose to do this, whether if it was a bad decision or not is Different from if Yuno has agency. Which she does.

Milgram's saviors tend to fall into this trap. They don't believe the person on the other side has any agency, they don't trust in that person's ability to interact with the world, and they don't trust in that person's judgement. There is a Fundamental Lack of Respect here for the person being saved.

Which leads us to Shidou Kirasaki.

A Cozy Coffin

I have a lot of strong feelings about Shidou. There's a lot about him that remains mysterious and a lot of him I simply do not trust. However something I am sure about is Shidou's lack of care for the people he tries to save and his Unwillingness to change in the face of that.

Shidou Kirasaki's care is self-serving, it reflects in his medical career and it reflects in how he treats the people around him. He even says it himself, he's selfish.

(Aesculapius)

Shidou: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for selfish reasons as well. So…

And while Shidou is admittedly unreliable as he Wants to be voted unforgiven. T2 Shidou wants to stay innocent, because he's important, more important than anyone else.

That’s right, there’s justice that needs saving See, indispensable, I’m indispensable

Shidou believes in his own importance, he believes he contributes something useful to the prison.

T1Q1: Why did you choose your current workplace? Because I thought it'd let me contribute to society.

And while he Is a doctor and Is Important, he tends to dismiss people who he thinks are weaker than him or who contribute Less in his eyes.

If it’s not needed, I’m not interested

“Throw down”, someone’s value Cannot be the same as another “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority

There are people who are Inferior and people who are Superior, and he has the ability to choose who is who. But when people who are Inferior do contribute something to him in some way, he diminishes and erases their agency they have because he believes himself to Know Better.

20/06/13

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

While we know for a fact that Amane's actions were influenced by her familial situation, that isn't what Amane is criticizing here. What she Is criticizing is what we did to Yuno in T1. He invented an idealized backstory for Amane without knowing Anything about her except that she's in Milgram with everyone else. And while that is a concern, the choices she made were her Own, independent of whether or not she had a tragic backstory.

But Shidou doesn't Acknowledge that, because acknowledging that there is a level of agency in her actions would complicate the narrative. It be much easier for him to help if it wasn't complicated.

Shidou was a father. He's projecting onto Amane here, and also does the same to Es. He misses his children, but he doesn't treat Amane and Es in a respectful manner. Something that damages his relationship with the both of them.

(Molech)

Shidou: I don’t know what circumstances you face while guarding this prison nor the reason as to why you’re doing it, but I’m sure that it must take a toll on you emotionally as well. So, please do your best. [pats head] Es: [is shook] I see. Oh, I see now. So, that’s how it is. So, that’s how it’s gonna be. [deep breaths] Shidou: Hm? Es? Es: Don’t you dare… pat my head like that! [kicks] Shidou: [grunts] Please hold on for a second.

Shidou knows Es very little, he's intruding on their personal space here all because their a child that he pities. He's projecting his parental feelings onto them when they Clearly don't want it because he gets something out of it.

However that isn't all, Shidou Kirasaki is a man trapped in the past, unable to move on in any way. He's trapped in this eternal cycle of grief and regret.

He's constantly searching for a past he can't return to, a future that will remain static and unchangeable.

T1Q16: What is the definition of happiness? A: To be promised an unchanging tomorrow.

You might wonder how this relates to Saviors and for that I need to talk about:

The Girl Prince

It's hard not to talk about saviors in Milgram without mentioning Kotoko. Her story centers around the concept of heroism and what that really means and involves.

Her story covers a lot of what we discussed with Shidou. Kotoko believes herself to be more powerful than the people she considers weaklings, someone who knows better than them and can make the "right" decisions.

Kotoko: From the beginning I’ve never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

Kotoko also puts a lot of importance on power and usefulness. As seen above with "useless weaklings," and she also especially values physical power. How else are you supposed to protect people after all?

T1Q4: When did you start learning martial arts? A: In elementary school, perhaps. Without enough power, you can't enforce justice and do the right thing, can you?

Kotoko believes in a worldview with a hierarchical power structure, there are people who are Strong Useful People who protect the Weaker Useless People. Which reflects back into the ableism she exhibits with both Haruka and Mikoto.

Kotoko Birthday (12/15/2023)

Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You’re thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it’s abnormal.

Kotoko Birthday (12/15/2022)

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it.

While this attitude towards disability and mental disorders and illnesses come from how she views the world around her using the lens of strength and power. But that isn't the only thing.

Kotoko isn't as revolutionary as she portrays herself to be. While she believes that the world Needs to change, she still believes in the structures and hierarchies of it. Notably when she interacts with Es she doesn't criticize Milgram's practices, but instead joins up with them and uses Violent Force to keep people in line.

(I would mention something from her T2 VD here if it wasn't spoilers but there's a scene there that I find interesting, again I won't mention it but I do have it in my mind.)

Kotoko is someone who wants to put the Good People in charge and keep the Bad People away. She wants to anoint a "chosen hero," someone who's "good" in her eyes, someone who she can trust and believe in fully to make the "right" decisions. It's a worldview In Favor of keeping things the same, it's just that someone else should be running it.

Kotoko's worldview is notably immature, it's black and white and lacks a lot of nuance. But she's unwilling to change.

Once again, it's Easier to be a savior if the world is simple. There's no nasty complication getting in the way of the fantasy of being a hero. If you keep the world stuck in a static position then it's easier for it to aid in the Fantasy of being a savior.

And again, this behavior doesn't stem from a genuine want to help people, but a need to validate one's own identity, and to feel like they have power over something.

(Task)

Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner! Even though I want to change this world, I alone only have this much power.

It's important that things don't change, if they do then you'd have to acknowledge that the world is more complicated than they Want it to be. It's important that you will Always be the hero and that there are Always going to people who need saving.

Or, on the flipside, no matter what you do. You will stay the pitied and loved victim forever.

Good Boy Girl

Haruka Sakurai is a character who is Undeniably trapped in the past.

If with one click, and I can reset everything

He wants to become a good boy again, he wants to be given the same attention he was given in the past, and he projects his mother onto Es and Later Muu.

He's idealized the past so much that he's become submerged in it.

However while Haruka Wants to stay the victim, he wants to stay powerless and pitiful, he really isn't. A tension that often gets played with within his trial. Haruka is able to harm people and threatens Es in Trial 2. First with the idea that he can kill them and then with his life to Guilt Es into forgiving Muu.

I will keep on killing to be a good boy

Haruka Sakurai isn't Weak, but wants to be so he can be loved and adored by the people around him. Because if he isn't perceived as a threat but as someone that can be projected onto without any worry, then he could be loved.

I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling

However, we do actually have an example of a character who Is Weak, and who is pitied and loved because of that. Who uses her failures and faults to gain power only for it to stumble out of her grasp time and time again because of it.

Muu Kusunoki Fails. A lot. I see a common interpretation of her after It's Not My Fault is Muu as the master manipulator, but if she was she wouldn't be here. She would still be the queen, eating honey like nothing was wrong.

But she isn't anymore, she fell from grace even before she attacked Rei.

Muu isn't Special, she isn't Powerful. But she is Pitiful, and she uses that pity to gain sympathy and affection from others. Muu Needs to stay the Victim if she wants to be cared for, so she always tries to position herself even when she hurts people.

(Crying B)

Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down] Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles] Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard!

If she stays the victim and keeps people's sympathy on her, then she doesn't have to worry at all about people turning on her or hurting her. It's a Service, she acts pitiful, and the people who help her can feel good about doing a Good Thing.

Even if they do eventually turn on her, she can just play victim and hope they stop. Maybe attack their self-esteem as well to really make sure they don't think harder about it.

(Queen B)

M: But if you were like, “I won’t forgive you, Muu! Revenge is bad!,” then wouldn’t that imply that it’s also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me? Since we’ve all done something bad anyway, doesn’t that mean that I’ve not done anything wrong in the end? E: …I think I’m kinda… starting to get your point… maybe… M: … Warden-san, are you maybe not that intelligent, after all…?

She's using Es' feelings of uncertainty and lack of knowledge to manipulate them into doing what she wants, but she isn't that Good at it. Muu could keep more ground if she continued to play more passive and timid. But instead she acts more aggressive and carefree.

The thing about Muu's strategy is that if She Stops Being Pitiful, it Stops Working. Muu can't let herself be Happy or Confident or otherwise because then she won't be pitiful enough to people. If she does, she gets knocked off her throne and sent back to square one.

Muu is a deeply cyclical character. She cycles from pitiful to queenly and back over and over again. Not only that but when everything is structured through the lens of who's stronger and who's weaker, then you are encouraged to push other people down for your own gain.

Her environment exists as a place where healthy relationships are Discouraged. Because if a relationship doesn't give you anything then you have no use for it.

Muu: Isn’t it exactly because he’s my friend? Isn’t friendship about letting your friends do the things they want? … Are you about to tell me “that’s not what friendship is”? Then what is friendship? You’re together because it’s beneficial for everyone involved, aren’t you?

Conclusion

There's a lot of ways to read these dynamics I think. Tsumi brings up the Karpman's Triangle over here and archivalofsins is working on a post based around TIV. And I can't really put every single facet of a character into this dynamic neatly.

But that's also kinda the point. As stated above, the lack of change and simplicity is important to this dynamic. Its resistant to change and resistant to growth. And any sort of attempt to function outside of it is a threat to it. These mindsets and hierarchies are dangerous because there strict and unchanging, and the deeper your in, the harder it is to get out.

The roles being played here turn people into one dimensional archetypes rather than People. Their motivations, circumstances and personality disappear to fit a convenient narrative of saviors and victims.

It's also much easier to become powerless than to gain power. Muu tried and failed to gain power, while Fuuta was punished and left powerless. It's not a balanced dynamic at all, it lifts up a few people and leaves the rest to rot. But the people who are “stronger” now have to somehow fulfill a role with standards too high to reach. No one wins here, because it's so highly destructive and damaging, and I find the way Milgram interrogates it to be really intriguing.

#milgram #yuno kashiki #shidou kirisaki #muu kusunoki #fuuta kajiyama #kotoko yuzuriha #milgram analysis #milgram meta

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bug-the-chicken-nug · 5 months

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This is probably the worst idea I have ever had but here fuckin goes:

RWBY Ren/Adam AU

"Bug. My guy. My dude. My good bitch. WHAT."

listen. For one yes Ren *would* be 18 when this happens. And then it probably takes him like a year or two to get romantic feelings anyway. And two. I just think the idea of them like being forced to cooperate and bond in some dangerous situation and them steadily realizing that they have more common ground than they thought is like. actually weirdly juicy, even platonically.

Like the idea of Ren realizing that honestly he also kind of has a lot of buried misanthropic sentiment and that Now That He's Letting Himself Think About It, it's kind of fucked up that the kingdom not only didn't try harder to protect his village, but also hasn't really made any efforts to try harder to protect other villages since.

Adam pointing out that this isn't an accident, because these villages Also tend to have higher percentages of Faunus, who end up in them after feeling too unsafe and unwelcome in major population centers...

Adam realizing that he's stronger than Ren and can basically take him hostage and use him as a lure/ bargaining chip against Blake and Weiss (because in this AU he should absolutely despise Weiss too, it makes too much sense)

And so this gives them even more time to get into a weird fucked up sort of bond where Ren starts stockholming hard and Adam is starting to genuinely care about him and see him as "different" from other humans, especially as he learns more about all of Ren's stories of also being paranoid and scared and unable to know who he could trust as an wandering orphan, because there were so many people with bad intentions.

Adam starts feeling weirdly almost protective, even if he would rather blow himself up than admit this.

Unfortunately for everyone else, protective Adam is synonymous with possessive Adam...

Ren ending up convincing Adam to leave Blake and Weiss alone... in exchange for Ren staying with him indefinitely.

Nora is of course SUPREMELY NOT OKAY with this but Ren has convinced himself that this is also for her sake, especially once he fails to bring her around to his new way of thinking

So at this point Ren and Adam go on their homoerotic little adventures together and you can cut the gay tension with a knife.

Ren is *kind of* a good influence on Adam, like he keeps him somewhat more level headed, not self-destructively obsessed with Blake, and a *bit* less of an extremist in how he wants to tackle his goals.

But by now Ren very much does also believe humanity needs to be punished and given a wakeup call, even if he's not as extreme in his belief of how this should be accomplished, so for the most part this whole situation skews Heavily towards Adam making Ren Worse.

They still tend to get into a lot of arguments, with this weird kinda thing where you'd think Adam would eventually become the dominant manipulative "you're not even allowed to be mad at me, I'm ALWAYS right" kind of guy and cow Ren into submission

But actually, Adam often *wants* Ren to fight back and be assertive, and is in his own weird way often trying to "help" him by encouraging him to do so. (plus he's slowly realizing he's kind of Into seeing Ren get mad)

I imagine this culminates in Ren getting a Semblance evolution that is basically just him discovering the "reverse" switch on his canon un-upgraded Semblance.

He can now strongly attract Grimm and send them into rages, as well as later learning how to release this as a lingering effect on the surrounding area, and then still be able to use his cloaking effect directly afterwards, effectively making himself and whoever he chooses exempt from the consequences of his lure ability.

#ren x adam #rwde #forgive me father

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spocks-evil-godmother · 1 year

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just a bullet point list of me whining about netflix's wednesday because i didn't like it :(

i'm not tagging as wednesday because i don't want to yuck on the yum of the fans but i just need a catharsis after... THAT

Mitch's List of Problems with this dang tv show:

I think my big complaint, the overall issue, my central grumble, if you will, is that this show is a hard-boiled detective story that isn't very funny. this is not a deal-breaker for everyone and i know it. but it definitely ticks me off. i think, for me, the central value of the addams family is NOT in its ability to be edgy or goth or cringe or whatever, but in its ability to parody family life as it is commonly constructed. the simplicity of the original cartoons captures these moments well and with good humor—a grandma making cookies that are only spooky shapes, blowing out a wall to get a good view of the cemetery, pride in a "negative" report card, "'are you unhappy my darling?' 'yes, yes, completely <3'" It works! It is a spirit that I think the 1964 series and the 90s films adequately respond to as comedies about families.

You know what is not in the spirit of comedic family parody? Hard-boiled detective stories. Which is perhaps a silly point of me to get wrapped up on, but also! I cannot fucking get over it. as a recap for anyone not familiar with the hardboiled detective genre, it arose largely as a response to classic detective fiction (see: sherlock holmes) in which the detective is operating in a world that tends towards order and logic, is temporarily disordered by xyz heinous crime, but is restored to its ordered state by a helpful detective. Hardboiled detectives, on the other hand, operate in a world where we are assuming inherent disorder—at the end of the day, people are selfish and bad, innocence is transient at best, and you can't trust anyone. Hardboiled detectives tend to focus on justice and power. They often operate in a vigilante capacity. And to win against the chaotic and dangerous power of crime, the detective himself must also become chaotic and dangerous. These detectives often tend to be antiheroes as they take on the weight of certain immoralities for the sake of the greater good. (this is the tradition that batman came out of.)

so there is a joke! there is a joke and i see it. in a genre sense, it is a funny concept to make a hardboiled detective (who happens to be wednesday addams) who believes in doing crime to stick to her personal code of justice and that she is alone in this dark world, and then put her in a setting where everyone wants to be her best friend. i see the joke and i understand the joke but personally i don't think the joke landed very well.

AND THEN???? Like, where do we land, what is the point! When there are other characters who are genuinely sympathetic and are beacons of light who want to cooperate, but the sake of the genre demands wednesday's isolation and rejection of all around her.... I DON'T KNOW. WRITE YOUR GENRE BETTER TIM!!!!

the pilgrim stuff i also disliked. i don't think a single pilgrim-themed thing was handled well.

i also don't love the way that "outcasts" are an apparent class of person in this world. To me....... it feels like they are writing about a caste system but then doing no worldbuilding about it. Normies are apparently fully aware of the existence of werewolves and vampires and so on, but i truly did not find the clout of the social hierarchy to be compelling. also i don't understand why gomez addams is not a normie. is this a school for supernatural creatures and also people who wear black? why is that an oppressed class.

and yet DESPITE the fact that outcasts are an apparently distinct and valuable group of people, there is no love for weirdos in this show????? i felt like wednesday kept staking her claim as the One True Weirdo in the show and that everyone else's weirdness was completely discounted. I get that wednesday has a natural antagonism with weems, thornhill, and the psychiatrist because she hates authority. but i cannot think of a single character who truly expressed a love of weirdness in others. And the interesting thing is, that's actually usually Morticia's job!! One of my favorite lines in the addams family musical is this part where lucas is making his introductions and that his name is lucas, and that he is named after an uncle who got his leg pulled off in a logging accident or some such and morticia says, "oh, what a beautiful story!" There is no mutualism of admiration in the wednesday universe (which makes sense for a hardboiled detective, as everyone is her enemy), but it's actually devastating to me. the closest person i can think of is is Ms. Thornhill, but, as we discover in the end, she can only compliment that which she wishes to destroy. i remain very disappointed on this point because loving the strange is kind of.... the point????

this whole point will be in bold because i am so mad. WEDNESDAY'S REJECTION OF THE SNEED IS UNFORGIVABLE TO ME. i am a crafter and so that whole thread kind of broke my heart generally, but i think it was the solidifying moment where i realized that wednesday would just never get her head out of her asshole. i want to be the kind of person who supports women's wrongs. Wednesday is manipulative, self-centered, and blinded by her emotions. All this I could forgive. But when someone isn't strange and unusual on your own terms (and they put a lot of work into that, by the way), you suddenly are allergic to being unique??? JUMP IN A WELL WEDNESDAY

The mayor. The coroner. The way those particular men of color were used as props. Just has a racist air around the whole thing. tim burton has always had an issue with class and hates writing about poor people but I dunno. This felt especially thoughtless for one of his projects.

the only thing i thought was funny was pugsley eating potpourri. which is a little sad to me.

I don't know if Tyler being the Hyde was predictable on purpose or not but it made me mad that like… they somehow used that to make him less interesting. Like ooohhhhh when Tyler was a small town barista who liked pretty girls and watching Legally Blonde he was Special and Important but when it turns out he's a monster then there's nothing relevant or redeemable in his personality ever again! WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR THE WEIRDOS I ASK THIS AGAIN. I have to tell you all that all of the Wednesday/Enid shipping from when the first season dropped left me WOEFULLY unprepared for how much this show is ANTI MONSTERFUCKING. It's not even a little bit of a monsterfucking show. What a fucking nightmare.

I knew Christina Ricci would also be evil when she was introduced but I am sad for her that her whole character was just horny for pilgrim justice instead of something more delectable.

AND THEN. They killed Principal Weems. My favorite character. (If you are wondering why I watched eight hours of this show when I didn't like it. Principal Weems. So I have no reason to watch the next season, alas.) UGH.

Things I Liked Because It Seems Fair to Say:

thing almost dying

morticia and gomez

eugene <3

principal weemssssssss

I feel like I am out of touch with the teenage experience and so cannot adequately appreciate how it must feel to feel completely justified in thinking you are the only person on earth who has ever felt different so you may also take that grain of salt.

Anyways. I cannot believe this show.

#mitch watches things #just ranting #sorry everyone!!!#wednesday spoilers

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enchantedscribblings · 2 years

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I recently finished reading Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria and let me tell you it was a ride

Spoilers and thoughts under the cut. My thoughts are very scattered and I apologize

For one my favorite character didn't die which is weird. Kudos to you, Newt. You made it. RIP to Cassa tho. It was hard being sad over her death because I was too in shock that it wasn't Newt

For context my favorite character always dies. Always. If anyone dies its gonna be my favorite one. This is probably the first time that rule was broken, ever. I have a post on my main blog talking about this for a show I watched recently.

Anyway so this book's concept of prophecies running your life is very good. I don't know why I referred to it as a concept. It's already a thing on real life. Just consider christianity and the contents of the book of revelation. They have cryptic stuff talking about a 7 headed dragon and the antichrist which have been used to jump to horrible conclusions. The concept of people in power hoarding those who have the capability to divine such futures is a fantastic display of the lengths that corrupt people will go to in order to remain in power.

I also kind of love that the heroes didn't get their full victory in the end. Sure, they managed to get rid of the council, but it wasn't in the badass rebellion way they were trying for. Instead they killed the last seer and got the council abolished in a legal way. Ansel Dane killed it with his little coup. They definitely completed their goal, but it wasn't in a way that I expected, and I really appreciate the deviation from the norm there.

I really enjoyed the characters. I've already said that my favorite is Newt, but I haven't talked about the rest of them. Usually when I like characters I can't really voice into words why I like them, but I'll try my best here.

First we have Evander. He's simultaneously confident and cautious. He's the most likely to follow Cassa's leadership, but he's not reckless with it. He follows because he believes in what they're doing. I truly believe if he didn't that he wouldn't be with them, even though people he cares about are doing the stupid things. I relate to his independence and his desire to help his friends and city.

Next we have Alys. She's clever and level headed even though she doesn't have a lot of faith in her abilities. She believes in her cause because, like her brother, she's seen first hand what the council will do to quell any and all rebellion. Every group needs the brains and she fills that role beautifully. I envy her wits. Additionally she's the ace representation that was the reason I initially considered reading this book, and she was so well written.

Third, we have Vesper. I love that she's not afraid to do what she thinks is right, even if it might hurt the people she loves the most. She cares so much that she is willing to walk alone to help her friends and the city she's called home since she was a child. Vesper wasn't portrayed as the smart person in the group but she's so incredibly intelligent. She managed to keep her powers secret while working for the council for fucks sake. If you don't think she's smart and unbelievably cool then you're wrong. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. (Also she gave me vibes that she should have gotten with/had a past with Cassa, and I'm sad it didn't happen). Vesper is probably my second favorite from this story

Fourth is Chancellor Ansel Dane. His tragic backstory is part of what made me like him so much. He comes off as curt and uncaring, but then you get to see what his past looks like and you understand that he's putting on a front of sorts with the council. That he took his own bad experiences and let them open his eyes to problems around him. I genuinely believe he's a very caring person, who was hindered by the council. If he didn't have them (like what he set up at the end) then I believe he wouldn't have ordered the massacre of the rebellion and that he would've put a stop to Solan Tavish much sooner.

Fifth is Solan Tavish. He's an excellent example of what happens when you have someone with power with no one to answer to. Luckily for the characters he never got to unleash his power, but they knew what he would do if that happened.

Coming in sixth we have Newt. He's sweet, clever, and he has a desire to help the people of his city and free them from the council, even if it means going against his own father. He gave me blorbo vibes from the second he was introduced and his desire to be better for the rebellion and Eldra than his father was resonated with me. I also find his flexibility and ability to pop his joints out to be pretty cool.

Last but not least comes Cassa. Full disclosure here, I found her annoying in the beginning. I found her cockiness and 'im the leader' mindset kind of annoying at the beginning of the book. As the story progressed, she began to think a little more for herself rather than following her parents' ideals blindly. She began to actually believe in the prophecies and the power of those with the blood of the Slain God, even though she still didn't believe in the deity. By the end of the book Cassa became a character that I grew to like.

I really enjoyed the world building that went into the religion of Eldra and the background on why certain people had abilities. I loved the skepticism from some people on whether or not the Slain God was ever real. However, I wish that we got to know more about the world that Eldra was a part of. It was mentioned briefly a few times when we were told that Eldra was isolated from them, but I wish we knew some stuff about it. Where has the best drinks? What's the weather like everywhere else? What are the people like? Do they have their own religion now that they've turned their back on the religion of the Slain God? I have so many curiosities about the people out there.

If Destiny Soria ever wrote a sequel to the book, or even another book that takes place in the same world, I'd love to read it. Especially if it features the world outside of Eldra.

I'm rating this book 8/10. The world building and the characters were fantastic (I especially enjoyed the queer characters and the poc representation), but it wasn't as action packed in the climax as it could have been. Overall this was a fantastic book, and I'm adding Destiny Soria's other book, Iron Cast, to my reading list.

#beneath the citadel #beneath the citadel spoilers #enchanted book club #cassa valera #solan tavish #ansel dane #evander sera #alys sera #newt #i cant remember his last name for the life of me and i dont have the book with me to search it #or vespers last name #vesper #ig #lgbtq+ books #queer books #bookblr #beneath the citadel destiny soria #books #book review

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ihatechoosingnamesitsucks69 · 2 years

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Why is love so hard to find?

I’m stuck. Metaphorically at least. I am behind on experience compared to almost every person my age in the whole wide world. Hell most people my age have kids!?!? Like excuse me when was being 20 and have a toddler a thing all woman aspired to have. I can’t lie I feel like I have possibly had baby fever for a small bit. Like I wanted to have a baby or more so be pregnant. I’m a big stinking VIRGIN. Christ, I haven’t even had my first kiss. I’m coming up for 21. I have no life experience. Everyone I know are in a relationship or have so form of goal in life. And I know that everyone goes on about how 20 is still young and that it’s normal and blah blah blah. That doesn’t make me feel better. Not. At. All. I’m struggling to say the least. Mentally I’m fucked. Look wise. Average on a good day. Like if I really try. I suck at make up and as much as I like to believe I’m good at choosing outfits. It’s just not true. Have I tried? Yes. Does it get better? No. I can’t do shit. I don’t know what I want to do in life. I have really bad social anxiety. I was pretty much ostracised but not like I was a full outcast. I had a small group of friends in school. They are all super smart. Me? As stupid as can be. Don’t ask how I become friends with them cause I don’t know. Which considering my brain power really just proves my point so... yeah. Any way back to my rant. I want a boyfriend. Is that going to happen? Nope. Never. No one in any schools I was in liked me at all. Sure there was one dude in Primary School but I got told after he stopped liking me. So… timing wasn’t too good. I don’t have the social skills. My family is fucked. Like we are bad just not the healthiest. I can’t ever introduce a man to them. They would leave so fast. Sonic would have nothing on them.

I think anyway… I want to be able to do something. Anything at all at this point. Only thing I am good at is cutting myself. I wish I was joking. Like genuinely my ability to cut myself and not do it too deep is a talent at this point. Should I be proud of that? No. But is it the only thing going for me? Yes. Now I fully understand that I should’ve and all that but intrusive thoughts and all that jazz. But hey I am working on that. Slowly but surely as they say. See I told you I am mentally fucked. I don’t even know why I am typing or if I would every have the courage to post this. Fuck it. We’ll find out.

Also side rant – Social anxiety/ Social phobia is awful. Especially with the fact that I’ve not met one person who is affected by it the same way I am. Even anonymously writing something like this or messaging friends or family genuinely scare me. To the point where I feel more comfortable being in contact with no one. But at the same time I don’t. Honestly, I don’t know how to explain it coherently. But yeah, it sucks. Big Time. I have one friend. A guy. And no before anyone assumes, I would NEVER date him and he would NEVER date me. People who think guy and girls can’t be friends are people who can’t be friends with the opposite gender and they project their views and what they would do in that situation onto others. I would never trust someone who genuinely believes that. It shows your inability to control yourself. If that’s you get help. Or don’t. My OPINION doesn’t matter. Because it is MY OPINION. I have no girls to take to. I have sibling but the sisters are all dating and happy and just wouldn’t understand. That by the way is a FACT not just a feeling.

Anyway, back to my lack of experience. I want to do all that cutesy shit. I want to be in love. I feel like I don’t matter because someone not family related doesn’t love me. I want to finally kiss someone and just experience a relationship with someone. I just want someone to want me. Like me. For once be the person. Also I know it is so unrealistic to even consider this. But I do want mindless sex. I want to be with someone. Be intimate to be close to one another and just want to be there with each other. Fuck sake that is cringy as fuck. I’m so sorry. I want to want someone and just be with them. Why is that so fucking hard to have.

#relationship #single #all alone #thissucks #this sucks #fuck this #i hate this #this is a cry for help #my generation #unnecessary #random rant #rant #fuck my life

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honey-milk-depresso · 3 years

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Ningguang!MC with the Scarabia Bois, Malleus, and Vil

HIII ANON SO SORRY THERE WE WERE SO MANY REQUESTS BUT I HAVE COME TO YOU MUAHAHAHAHA- I LOVE NINGGUANG THAT BAE SHE'S SO PRETTY DJHJDJHDUJ-

A professional when it comes to the world of business, you believe that hard work and perseverance is what brings about success. You press on regardless of the situation, you certainly are a rare gem amongst the rest.

You like saving up, and are cautious with what you buy. Though, I think you can buy the entire world solely with your ability.

You are devoted to protect your peers' safety and uphold rules and order. When it comes to your friends, you would sacrifice anything.

You may be kind and friendly, but you are relentless when it comes to business. You're business motives in general are driven by money and money alone; you think it solves every last one of your problems.

Sorry no Jamil, replace with Azul ;-;;;;;;;;;

TWST the money driven and hard working s/o (Ningguang)

Kalim Al Asim

He's quite intimidated by you he's not going to lie.

You're so mature and smart when it comes to money and the whole fiasco of business even in his world, he wonders if you're suppose to be the heir/heiress to a company.

He sees you work so hard for your exams and to complete tasks, and you stay strong no matter the situation.

Sometimes he questions himself if he's as good as you. You have to reassure him Kalim is much more capable than he think he is, and that he probably has a different way to run a business.

Kalim can see you're genuinely kind towards him, and he feels so happy just seeing you! He likes to run up and hug you unexpectedly as you giggle softly, though telling him you still have a reputation to uphold.

You actions betray your words always as you hug him back.

As cautious as you are with your money, you won't hesitate to sacrifice your wealth to the ones you hold close, especially Kalim.

Kalim has a pure heart, and he doesn't expect you to spend your money and time on him. He feels pretty bad, and again your reassurance come take place.

Kalim does the same for you, too! But he doesn't always need money to help you. Like comforting you and cracking jokes to liven your spirits!

His way of doing such is to show you not everything can be solved with money,

and that he shows you that finding happiness in yourself is what you truly need! <3

Azul Ashengrotto

Great minds think alike, don't you think?

Like Azul, you are very centralized on business and money.

Azul himself finds your business expertise very useful to him, he slightly envies you for having so much knowledge of such. He runs a lounge for Pete's sake!

And like him, you both have the thinking that hard work is what creates success,

and both of you can agree and joke about it.

But even though you're just as cautious when spending your money, even if you're calculative, not wasting a single cent for anything that you could do with it,

you choose to use your money and time to sacrifice for your peers, and Azul, the one you hold dear.

He has to admit, he's quite touched you would spend money on him, he feels quite happy that you would sacrifice even your most prized wealth for him. It makes him feel special to you.

Azul would do the same. He would spend his wealth on you as well to show you how much he loves you. But as he starts to grow along with you, and know you more, he realized your mindset of thinking money could solve anything to be quite... well.... wrong.

Azul has to be the one to initiate words of comfort and affectionate touch when you're feeling down, to show you that money's not going to solve all your problems.

He himself knows that, too. And what you truly need is love and support <3

Malleus Draconia

He's not too knowledgeable in the world of business unlike you.

But you seem to know what you're doing most of the time, so he thinks you're very professional in what you do, which is business.

And he's absolutely right. Seeing how much wealth you have somehow accumulated in NRC, surprise him. He wonders how Azul is doing back at Monstro Lounge upon knowing how much wealth you have earned. How he know Monstro Lounge existed was because of how often you tease Azul and joke about him with Malleus though he has no clue about what you're saying.

Your kind heart and friendly nature towards him touches him dearly. He's not usually approached by many who were genuinely friendly to him, and instead they mostly fear him.

Having you by his side brings him great joy! Malleus is even more touched that someone so cautious of how much they spent, would want to spend all their money and time on him.

He's really glad you care about him a lot, and he would do the same. Malleus is basically a prince. He can get whatever he wants.

As much as he admires you hard working spirit and perseverance of yours to do anything, you're concept of money fixing everything is something he frowns about.

Malleus takes matters in his own hands and reminds you that it's not always that money solves your problems, and that money isn't most important to help someone. What matters the most is the time and care you show to others, and he would do everything to give you that. <3

Vil Schoenheit

Vil is not quite familiar the spectrum of business. He would only know the surface because of his career and mostly just advertising and stuff.

Vil can tell you know a lot about business, and he can't help but feel impressed by how much money you can earn in NRC. Alone.

He admires and respects your hard work and dedication, he, too agrees that it brings success. He sees you work day and night, to accumulate enough wealth, and of course to bring about peace in NRC and help your peers.

He respects that.

But he's quite surprise someone like you, so cost cautious and calculative would want to sacrifice all your money and time to the people you love, him mostly.

He can't help but feel.... thankful. And appreciated, that you love him that much to give up your most prized possession in order to ensure his wellbeing is secured.

Vil isn't as rich as you (well, maybe-), but that doesn't mean he can't show you how much he loves you, too.

And it is through actions and words to care for you. He wants you to understand, money alone won't solve all your problems.

Much like how he learn beauty and appearance isn't everything.

He wants you to learn what he learn, and what is most beautiful to show your love is through support and care, and that what you need is a healthy mindset to overcome your challenges. <3

#twst #twisted wonderland #kalim al asim x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #malleus draconia x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #kalim al asim #azul ashengrotto #malleus draconia #vil schoenheit #twst headcanon #twisted wonderland headcanon #twst x reader headcanon #twisted wonderland x reader headcanon

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faelapis · 4 years

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there used to be this fandom misunderstanding where people thought steven had no negative feelings about those who hurt him, and that he had completely forgiven everyone with no bitterness or trauma... but now, i fear that’s now been replaced by people thinking steven is completely and solely transactional in his willingness to help others.

some have posited that the Only reason he doesn’t kill is that he’s either weaker than his enemies or thinks not killing them will lead to a better outcome. as evidence, they show the anger he’s suppressed beneath his helper boy facade.

essentially, the argument is that SU is showing, through steven, the strategic value of being nice, at the exclusion of actually caring about others, where being merciful is just a means to an end.

but i will argue that the thing about SU is that it does both. it argues from a practical AND moral perspective.

and steven, personally... still cares about people beyond their strategic value in making peace and dismantling the hierarchy. yes, even “jerks.” yes, even when they make him uncomfortable or he suppresses trauma-induced anger.

he really does value his own ability to be a “nice” person, as well as the lives of others... and, because the diamonds are beloved and most of gemkind believe in the system, shattering them would be practical / strategic suicide, if you wanna make peace & help homeworld.

to prove that it’s not all political realism (knowing that his enemies are stronger and adjusting to this), i will argue steven objects to shattering and death regardless of strategy. if the only “real” issue was the practical sociocultural impact on homeworld (see: how most gems hated the CGs after pink was “shattered”), then why would he object to this before knowing pink was shattered & its impact? he thinks it’s bad for its own sake, and wants the crystal gems to not kill anyone. he doesn’t wanna be like homeworld.

if it’s all strategic, there’s certainly no reason to feel guilty about shattering jasper. jasper is a hermit who lives alone in the woods. there’s no “useful” reason to help jasper; it doesn’t make anyone else’s life better. steven WANTS to help her for its own sake.

why? because helping people is who he wants to be. it’s core to steven’s sense of identity. hurting others is the last thing he wants to do, even when his trauma gives him negative feelings he’s not prepared to deal with.

the point i’m trying to make here is this: even if it made strategic sense to shatter everyone, he wouldn’t want to do that. that wouldn’t result in steven being like “sweet, finally i can show how i Really feel”.

because it’s really not the sum of how he feels - he has trauma-induced fear and anger, but that doesn’t mean that’s aaaall he thinks of the people who hurt him. he doesn’t want to kill spinel - he is genuinely happy for her chance to be with the diamonds, even if he himself doesn’t always feel comfortable around her.

steven is a man of multitudes. he can feel uncomfortable around people who hurt him AND care about them & want them to grow as people. it’s more than just “grin and bear it for the sake of my grand masterplan.” he wants everyone to get better. that’s not fake, it’s sincere and an important part of him.

steven feels good about himself when he’s able to help people. he has come to, like gemkind, seek having a purpose in life. helping the crystal gems and playing therapist for them after rose’s death gave him an immense sense of guilt and taught him to suppress his feelings... but it also gave his life “meaning”. everyone loves Kind Little Helper Boy steven. so that’s who he wants to be.

i can’t see him having such a panicked reaction to his intrusive thoughts about shattering white for purely strategic reasons. that wasn’t him having a carefully calculated thought about “hmm, shattering white might compromise era 3”... that was him feeling like a terrible person. because of his own values and morals.

and yes, steven can experience all of this at the same time.

he can have suppressed trauma that leads to anger AND think, morally speaking, that shattering is wrong AND care about others AND have his strategic considerations match up with that, in terms of “using” the diamonds to heal the corrupted gems.

he's not this cold, strategic mastermind who secretly hates everyone he helps. that’s just... not who he is. he genuinely wants to help people, and no, being uncomfortable around the diamonds and spinel doesn’t stop that from being true. he’s just gone so far in the purpose-driven direction that he’s neglected his own trauma. he wants to be helpful and cares about others, even when they hurt him. it’s all a part of his complex, individual feelings.

if it was all strategy, then idk what your main source of thinking that is, because that’s not what we saw in SU future.

if it was all strategy, that’s not what we saw when he fixed jasper. or when he felt awful for thinking about shattering white. or when he tried to help bluebird. or when he filled his schedule to the brim with every way to help others, even when it was exhausting and had little strategic value.

if it was all strategy, there would never be a reason for him to feel like a monster.

#steven universe #su theory #steven #su future #su movie #spinel #the diamonds #jasper #the crystal gems

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pinkchanelbag · 3 years

Text

truthfully, miserably. [m. fushiguro]

the truth came to him like a drowning man’s first breath, but came far too late; you were already long gone.

cw: literally just angst.

wc: 1.5k.

note: this doesn’t even have a plot??? it’s just me directing my bummed out energy on my poor baby megumi i feel so bad i have to like write him fluffly headcanons or something after this.

“you’re lying.”

megumi stiffened his body to suppress the shudder that passed through him. he worried that those words would haunt him for the rest of his life.

how terrifying it was to watch himself become undone by those two words. he’d known himself to be an honest man, a good man. it didn’t ever occur to him that lying about something as intangible, inconsequential as his own feelings could hurt someone; could make him a worse person.

“it’s not the right time. i’m too busy to worry about you more than i already do. i can’t worry about your feelings too.”

it had been a harsh statement but an been an easy lie. so easy that he was mildly convinced of it himself until the moment you’d pulled it to pieces before him and turned your back on him with a suitcase in one hand.

you’re lying.

a dark feeling manifested in his gut at knowing those were your last words to him. knowing the last time you looked upon him, your face was pulled into something like disbelief, hurt, hopelessness, and tears sat in your eyes but didn’t fall. it was the face of a person spread thin, a person giving up.

the night was windy enough for it to be noticeable. the breeze tossed megumi’s hair before his eyes and obscured his vision of the train station.

he had stayed behind when the first and second years and gojo sensei accompanied you in farewell.

“you sure?” gojo sensei had asked with a titled head and rare genuine empathy.

“don’t think she’d want me there.” part of him had believed it to be true, but another part of him, the part that sneered at his cowardice knew it was also because he hadn’t come to terms with his own actions. he hadn’t been ready to face you after being hit with the crushing reality of his own deceit. part of him couldn’t make himself process that the hurt in your face wasn’t because of his words, but because of the fact that you knew they weren’t true.

gojo had simply sighed, paused for a few beats before saying,

“utahime will text me as soon as she’s picked her up from the station.” the sorcerer’s intuition had let him on to the circumstances, and it was that intuition that knew megumi would benefit from being reassured of the girl’s whereabouts. knowing this, megumi had thanked his sensei with deep sincerity, a rarity of his own.

he didn’t even know why he’d come. you’d departed before the sun had gone down. a creeping feeling told him it was because he should have been there. a part of him felt like he’d arrived several hours late to the most important encounter of his life.

he supposed he was here because it was the last place he knew for a fact that you’d been in; that a few hours ago, you stood on the platform. maybe your fingers tapped against the handle of your suitcase like they often did when you felt anticipatory. maybe you smiled at the others with your eyes and hugged them with your whole body. you’d always had a way of pouring every single thing in your heart and mind into your interactions—your eyes, words, your touch. megumi had always seen it as both powerful and stupid. you were truer than any other person he’d ever met. your heart teetered on your sleeve, but it was by no means weak. you felt with no shame or inhibition, and it was your superpower. but the way you couldn’t—wouldn’t—mask your feelings in any way made you an exposed nerve. you were all offence and no defence. at first, to megumi, it was irritating. he hadn’t liked being called out or being slapped in the face by your vulnerability and not knowing what to do with it.

then he came to know you. irritation turned to apprehensiveness; the feeling of wanting to grab you by the shoulders and shake you into some sense. to tell you to not be so open. a feeling as if he was constantly worrying about a toddler falling off a cliff. but you never changed, and he got somewhat used to it. and then he knew it was you, and knew he wouldn’t want you differently. then, unexpectedly, he came to like, even to admire, that quality in you. the anxiety never went away. all that had changed was that the more time he spent around you, the more he needed to protect your heart as you never would.

it’s not the right time.

it was a lie. and he of all people should’ve known better than to believe it. after having lost too many people far too soon in his life, he should’ve known that time becomes inconsequential, in the end. he should’ve known that you knew, which justified your look of incredulousness at his words. he wondered if you, with your terrifying ability to see through his every atom, had known that he didn’t truly mean to lie, because he had convinced himself of something that wasn’t true. megumi’s own heart answered painfully. of course you’d known. how long had you been wrestling with his iron-grip emotions before you gave up on trying to help him see truth?

it had taken far too many hours, but the initial shock and cowardice had just about worn off. on the dark, empty platform, megumi faced himself. not for his sake—for yours. for what you had been trying to do for him before he’d pushed you away more times than even your kind soul could handle.

with a lump in his throat, he thought about and acknowledged that as much as he should’ve known to cherish people before they were gone, he equally held himself back from growing close to anyone for fear of how badly their loss would hurt him. your closeness scared him more than any other because he knew that if anything ever happened to you, anything at all, he’d never be the same. it wouldn’t matter if you healed from whatever physical or emotional scars had been caused. megumi would never be able to feel like he belonged to the same world that had done you harm. his fists clenched in anger. and what had he done, exactly? he’d been the one to hurt you in a selfish pursuit of preservation.

you’re lying.

he’d been lying. he could own up to that now. he had to make his amends in some way, and not in hopes that it’ll make you give him another chance, but because you did what he hadn’t. you’d acted selflessly for his sake. you’d tried to help him be better, you’d tried to love him and to tell him—because i like you, fushiguro—to tell him that and whether or not you were around or would ever be around again to witness it, he would be better. and he’d start with this.

what’s the truth?

there was little thinking involved in what happened next. it wasn’t a conscious thought at all. it wasn’t so different from finally emerging from too much time spent underwater and the way your body pulls a dizzyingly deep breath into your lungs without your conscious decision or consent. for megumi, that was what it felt like to realize he loved you.

he choked on a sob as the words piled into existence. i love you.

he’d never been open emotionally, particularly with intimate feelings. that was why the conviction and forwardness with which he felt this truth shocked him—or would have, if he could’ve focused on anything else. vaguely he wondered if this is how you felt all your emotions. with such ferocious acceptance that no one could possibly mold them into weakness when they felt so much like strength.

i love you.

his body was nearly aglow with it. it bubbled up inside him and threatened to spill over.

“i..i love you.”

for just a moment, two opposite universes crossed. he stood inside that unfulfilled reality, where on this platform on this day he’d arrived before the sun had fallen and said those words to your listening ears rather than to deserted train tracks. he looked between himself and the reality where he’d done right by time, and he didn’t know which was the ghost.

“i love you.”

he spoke the words to the wind, and it heard him and whistled in empathy, but it would not carry his message to you.

“i love you...i love you.”

megumi watched those words that scalded the inside of his mouth materialize only to be carried out of existence. without you to hear them, they meant nothing, no matter how much they felt like breathing fire. but for all their uselessness, he didn’t dare to not say them, even as they burned his lips. for one thing, they were the truth.

“i love you,” he said miserably. “i love you. i love you. i love you.”

right person, wrong time. how backwards a saying that was. he scoffed tearfully. not even the watery eyes took away from the dry, bitter expression on his face. he was the one—he had wronged time. how long had he spent deluding himself about all the reasons he should let you go? the timing had always been right—he was what was wrong. and now you’d broken his heart like he’d broken yours. his tears sunk and hid into his pores and his face turned to stone, and you were gone, and he’d never love again.

#megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi headcanons #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro imagine #megumi oneshot #megumi smut #jjk x reader #jjk angst #fushiguro x reader #nia.megumi #nia.txt

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writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

Springing Forward (Helmut Zemo x Reader)

Request: hey there cathy! i’m a new follower and i was wondering if i might request a zemo x reader where it’s maybe pre ultron and reader’s family own a flower shop in sokovia and somehow through that they meet? idk i know it’s super random but i’ve got spring fever 😂 (by @msmarvelsmain), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Your family owned a little flower shop. You assisted every now & then. One day, your parents had departed for a while, a man entered the store & changed your life forever.

Words: 3,255

Warnings: fluff, soft!Zemo, it is so sweet, I promise, pretty sure I didn't use any pronouns :), no TFATWS spoilers (you’re welcome), (Y/F/F) = your favorite flowers, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Spring was your favorite season of the year. Flowers started blossoming. Nature turned colorful again. Lush hues decorated the outsides. Your family owned a petite shop in the central of downtown in Sokovia. The store was your whole pride & joy. The façade was stacked with uneven, light grey cobblestones. The sign on top of the glass door was illuminated with a warm & congenial light. While you did not have that many guests, your regular customers supported you continuously. Helping out your parents had never bothered you. It was a family business. Your assistance was appreciated & the local citizens enjoyed whenever you served them.

Plants & flowers were your hobby. Somehow, they grew when you tended to them. You managed to flourish almost dead ones. That was one of your skills. Your handling with the people who visited your shop left a good impression. The earnings were not a fortune but you made do. The smiles of your pleased customers were enough to balance that out. Not even once had you been bad-tempered. If something bothered you, then you suppressed that negativity for the sake of your reputation. After all, it never had anything to do with the shop itself.

The mornings were your favorites. When the rest of the town was still fast asleep & the birds slowly awakened with rhythmical chirps. The slight breeze that touched your skin tenderly. The goosebumps erupting where your clothes did not cover you. Yet, you abandoned the thought of pulling over a jacket. As the hours ticked by, the sun would amplify, leaving you content with your tenuous t-shirt. Your parents had left town for relaxation. The shop would be solely yours for the upcoming days. Your little apartment was not far away from your workplace. The short walks back & forth were forever welcomed. During your lunch break, if your job & the weather allowed you that, you wandered through the narrow backstreets. Every corner was familiar but the small details that frequently transformed always fascinated you anew.

Years ago, you loathed leaving the country you were born in to start a new life here in Sokovia. Your parents were incomprehensibly overstrained with your whim that seemed to worsen daily. Friends were abandoned in the process of moving. The beginning in a foreign area was strenuous. Not only did it take a toll on you but on your parents as well. The loan enabled your family’s dream of owning their own shop. Independence was an indescribable feeling. Ever since, your fondness of this place had been increasing steadily. And while you would not exactly say that you had friends here, you definitely made a few acquaintances. Friendships would follow sooner or later. Besides, your work consumed almost all of your time. You lived to work & you worked to live. It was as simple as that. Your lifestyle functioned like that. It was exhausting, sometimes excessive, but you handled it just fine. Still, every now & then, you found yourself craving something. What that particular something was had yet to be discovered.

The delightful ringing of the bell whenever someone entered your shop reached your ears. It was early in the morning. Usually, the first costumers rolled in closer to lunch time. Not that you were complaining. Your body spun around, your apron getting stuck on an infinitesimal bump standing out of your oak wooden counter. Silent curses left your lips, too quiet for the stranger to hear. The struggles were noticeable & a presence approached you. You had yet to glance at the person but your delicate hands were busy with fiddling the fabric.

“May I?” a soft, accented voice spoke up & startled you slightly. Your eyes flickered up & locked with warm, chocolate brown ones. For a few moments, time stopped. Your heartbeat sped up. Something about this simple interaction let sparks burst. And when his lips turned into a gentle smile, you were gone for. Never before had something similar occurred. Especially not that quickly. It was obvious that you were staring a little too intensively. But his eyes did not leave yours, lingering just for a fraction longer. He had asked you a question. As an owner, you completely failed your task. You neither welcomed him in nor did you engage in a conversation. Coughing to hide the embarrassment, you averted your gaze & began.

“Welcome. Um, I’d really appreciate your help, thank you.” your voice wavered but it did not crack. His hands, covered by leather gloves, stretched out & he initiated the process of freeing you. The thick material that hid his fingers was offbeat. Average people tended to avoid gloves during this season. It was warm enough without them. Then again, this stranger did not strike you as average. This brief meeting was proof enough.

“There you go.” he commented after successfully liberating you. “As good as new.” he radiated a feeling that made you believe he was a well-spoken man. You were unsure how exactly you ended up with that conclusion.

“Thank you.” both of your hands reached to the hem of your apron, glancing down at it, checking for possible damages. But, as he alleged, it was perfectly fine. Another moment of silence went by, then you slowly returned to reality. You occupied your according place behind the counter. Back straightened & regained composure. “Apologies for my unprofessional behavior. I will ensure you a discount for your purchase. Right…what did you need?” your rambling was mortifying. Hiding your emotions was not necessarily one of your skilled characteristics.

“Please, do not bother with special treatments.” one of his hands raised in front of his chest, signaling that he was being serious. It did not change that, deep down, you felt poorly. “I was actually looking for…” a chuckle interrupted his speech. “I am uncultured regarding this area, truthfully. If you offer me your assistance now then the two of us are even.” the following wink made you all giddy. What was it about him?

“Okay, well…” your previous painstakingness was pushed down. “What is the occasion?” it was always surprising to gain new customers. His accent betrayed him a little. And what a sweet betrayal it was.

“A decisive meeting with a higher up. An efficient first impression would be convenient.” he enlightened you, choosing his words carefully. Well-spoken he was but that was manifested from the very beginning.

“Any preferred colors, types?” one of your eyebrows perked up. Moving your body around the counter & in the middle of the modest shop, you reacted unwillingly after brushing past his frame. Your shoulder barely grazing but enough to trigger uneven breaths.

“How does a common purchase for such an event look like?” you peered over your shoulder, a bit of amusement written over your features. While he appeared like a literate man, ten times wiser than you, this was a field you surpassed with ease. A quick glimpse on your forearm, where a barely functioning watch swathed your wrist caressingly, confirmed your previous assumption. There was still a load of time left until the shop’s actual occupation. You could bestow him your aggregate attention. The unnamed stranger absorbed your every word of your explanation. Your eyes sparkled with a newly witnessed enthusiasm. The fact that he did not heckle your talk during the entirety of your tour through the shop brought you desired satisfaction. He was the first person to display genuine interest in your employment.

“God, please excuse me trailing off. I did not intend to bore you.” all of a sudden, your energetic self switched to an insecure one.

“I can assure you that you did not bore me. Not for one second.” his affirming smile calmed your incertitude. Together, the two of you picked up various individual flowers. A compiled bouquet would portray him in the best light. Your hands moved on their own. You could still hold a conversation with the man on the other end of the wooden table. It separated the back of the shop from the front, main area. His fascination for you expanded by every further move you performed. Lastly, you wrapped the ends of the stems with a fine, almost sheer paper. To secure everything & hold it in place, you braided a ribbon that matched the color of the textile.

“All done.” you showcased the finished product to him, a small, gratified smile adorning your face. “What do you think?” the question was almost shy, it needed reassurance. Which made him ponder why you were so doubtful of yourself & your abilities. To him, you prepared the most gorgeous bouquet he had ever caught a sight of.

“Plainly astonishing.” his praise warmed you from deep within. “You really do have an unbelievable talent.” you thanked him quietly, eyes flickering down to avoid his intense stare. By no means was it displeasing or inadvertent. It was sweet & thoughtful. You wanted to extend his stay, fearing that this would be a one-time interaction. But you could not remain on this high you were currently experiencing. The sound of the entrance bell fetched you back to the present. Another customer that needed attendance. Your togetherness approached an undesirable end. Controlled fingers punched a well-rehearsed pattern into the cash register. The blue numbers flashed for the man in the coat to see. Gloves & a fur-coat during spring? He was the only living soul you had ever met that made it work.

A wallet was pulled out of his pocket. Fine fingers retrieved the money. A beat went by. Two. Almost like he wanted to savor the little time you two had left. But your duties called. He would not use up any more of your duration. Maybe he had already overstepped & his appearance was no longer welcomed or appropriate. The notes were handed over. Your movements like a slow motion scene in your favorite movie. The scenery grasping your every bit of attentiveness. It was something you wanted to remember. To think back & hope to perceive that same feeling you experienced during the first time. You reached for it. The moment his clothed hand touched your smooth skin stilled the world once again. The gentle brush of his thumb over the back of your hand could have been missed if it was not for your body to be this alerted.

“Thank you for your exceedingly helpful guidance, …?” his eyes looked up at you sheepishly. You knew what he was intending. It was a silent question for your name. And you were more than eager to comply.

“(Y/N).” it was short, adequate. His smirk held a deeper meaning. What it was exactly, you could not identify.

“Why, thank you, (Y/N).” his emphasis was on your name. The way it rolled from his tongue was mesmerizing. You found yourself craving to hear that sound constantly. But you were not even sure if it was naïve to hope for his return. He would exit any second. Leaving behind a pit only he could fill. Your train of thought converted into utter despair. He was your customer. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“You never told me your name.” you called out when he was almost out of the door. One last time, he glanced over his shoulder. The fur tickling his chin a bit. One last time, you studied the way his lips lifted. One last time, you believed.

“Helmut.” he replied. “It was nice meeting you.” his hand pushed the door open. His body moved through the doorway. As fast as he entered your life, he left just as quickly.

“You too.” you whispered but he was no longer here to listen to your words. Your face fell, the previous spark in your eyes completely gone. The person in front of you waited until you paid all of your attention to them. It took a lot of effort but you managed in the end. The only difference was that they were not him. Nobody would ever be him again. But he vanished. Like dust in the wind, blowing away his remaining scent that had filled your nostrils.

Was it possible to crave a person you barely knew? Your subconscious sprinkled salt in your wound. Brains could be ridiculous. Nonsense. The teasing of your dreams, in the dark of the calm night, was echoing. Ricocheting off the walls that kept your emotions buried inside. Similar to being the main character in a horror film, desperately looking for a way out but being trapped no matter what. Why were you reacting like that? Why did Helmut waltz into your shop without any restrictions, turning your entire life, your entire world, upside down? He was one mysterious man. Uncommon, remarkable. Someone who swept you off your feet by simply being. One charming smile & you were gone for. The first words he directed to you & he gained you wholly. The worst part of it all was that he had no idea what he did to you. He had no idea that your thoughts were solely revolving around him ever since his entrance to the store. His entrance to your heart. What was happening to you? You had to move on, that much was clear. Truth was, you abominated that thought. Your focus had to shift. Back to your work, back to your task.

The following day started off with a bad mood. Certainly, the upcoming hours would be draining. You could not allow the shop’s closure. Not even for a day. Your family’s existence depended on it. Everything was the same. Chirping birds, a cool breeze, a short walk. The peacefulness before customers visited. Yet, everything was not the same at all. Because there was this nagging feeling inside of you & you knew you could not get rid of it. The ringing sound caught you off guard. It was unusual. Only once had someone entered this early in the mornings. And this one time was yesterday. Your shock was visible. Helmut’s presence was unexpected but definitely not unsought.

“Helmut?” your voice was an octave higher. The excitement emitting from you.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” he strutted closer to you. The same gloves, the same coat. The same offbeat & arcane man.

“What brings you here today?” your head tilted, trying to find a possible explanation for his return. “Wait. Was the bouquet improper?” immediately, thousands of dark, negative thoughts were rushing through you. You did your very best with the flower’s arrangement. Never before had you spent this much time & effort.

“No, not at all.” one of his hands raised & rested on your shoulder, squeezing the tiniest bit. You had to take a deep breath in order to stay calm. As calm as it was possible with him around. “The exact opposite. Which is why I am here again. Could you assist me once more?”

“Of course. What were you envisioning? Who are the flowers for?” your elbows propped onto the countertop, gazing lovingly into his orange shining brown eyes.

“I meant to ask for your favorites. You strike me as one with fantastic taste.” Helmut certainly had a way with words. No matter what he said, you found yourself captivated by him. The topic could be dreary but he made it sound fascinating.

“My favorites? It’s tough to choose one when there are so many stunning options.” you quieted down for a few seconds to really contemplate your answer. It was flattering that he asked for your opinion. “If you make me pick then I’d say…hmm, probably (Y/F/F).”

“Perfect. I would like to purchase a bouquet then.” right away, you got to work. Helmut watched your skilled hands. His enthusiasm only died down when he saw the frown forming on your face. “What is it?”

“Huh?” you were in your thoughts. His question was almost missed by you.

“That frown. Where is it coming from?” only Helmut could be so straight forward about such a small detail he had noticed. Would you tell him the truth? You should not. He did not need to know that your mood turned sour because he bought more flowers. This time, he did not let you know about the purpose of them. Another dinner with a higher up? Highly unlikely. But not entirely impossible. You assumed he would gift them to a woman. Hence why you sidestepped his question masterly.

“I believe it happens when I’m focused on my task.” you hoped your smile was reassuring but Helmut saw right through you. In the end, he did not comment on it. There was a building tension between you two. This time around, there were no lingering touches. He left the shop once again & it was clear that this was it. Helmut would not come back again. And maybe it was for the better. Your heart was too fragile to be crushed by his bare hands. It was not fair to blame basically a stranger. He had a life you had no insight on. But the aching could not be ignored.

Just as you wanted to lock the door to your shop for your lunch break, a voice reached your ears, followed by hurried footsteps. Turning around to look for the cause of it, you were shocked for a second time today. It was Helmut. The same bouquet he had purchased earlier clasped in one of his hands. The other one balanced two cups of coffee. As much as you wanted to withhold your smile, it was inevitable to repress.

“(Y/N)!” he was slightly out of breath. “I expected you were gone already.”

“Good that your expectation was wrong.” the warmth that filled your body was endearing.

“Here.” he handed you the flowers & your eyebrows furrowed. “For you.” he explained further when you made no move to reach for them.

“Why?” you inquired but grabbed the bouquet from him anyway. His posture relaxed & the grip on the cups was more secure.

“May I invite you on a walk through the town?” he suggested shyly. “I brought you coffee. I do hope it is after your liking?” the last part was a question. A sign that he doubted himself the slightest.

“I’m sure it’ll be delightful.” you eased his mind immediately. The cup was placed in your other hand. “Could you wait here for a minute? I should put them in a vase.” he motioned for you to go ahead. Your heart was doing backflips. It all fell into place now. You pieced everything together. He asked for your favorite flowers earlier today because he intended to give them to you. His plan was to spend your lunch break together. Helmut really went out of his way for you. His efforts were mellow. Returning outside once again, he patiently stood in the same spot. The softness of his features were rare on a man like him. You had met people similar to him but he was different. Helmut was that type of many who bought you flowers & made time to spend more with you.

You knew the town by heart. So did Helmut. But exploring the beautiful spots together felt like you were espying every corner, every building, for the very first time. Conversation flowed easily. Laughter was shared, loving glances were exchanged. He gave you a feeling of belonging. Like you were supposed to be right here from the very beginning. It felt right. With a man like him on your side, your life quality would finally improve. Helmut would be the one to quench your cravings. And you would not want it any other way.

Published (05/04/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @takacsgram, @hiddlestoner-cumberbitch, @bibliophilewednesday, @yallgotkik, @noavengers, @lieutenantn, @birdieofloxley, @aisling1985, @trelaney, @sebastian-stan-d-on-my-throat, @thewinterrbucky, @loveinthemadness, @princess-yuna (thanks for your support <3)

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moonjosjongwoo · 3 years

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How do you think Moonjo and Jongwoo were in their respective childhoods/teenage years?

oh oh i think about this so much jasldkfjlaksjdflkj

i'll start with moonjo, because his backstory eludes us all and we've been teased with bits and pieces of it for a while. it went around on here (from a twitter post i think?) that moonjo was abused by his parents and wound up killing them before going to the orphanage. idk how true this was bc i didn't get the chance to do my own research, but i can definitely see it being a thing. that being said, 99 percent of my theorizing on his childhood runs on this little tidbit of information, so take that with a grain of salt.

said information legitimately makes me wonder what kind of person moonjo was before that abuse had led to him killing. psychopathy is a diagnosable disorder, and some kids really are just born that way. It's a spectrum disorder that can range from general antisocial behavior/lack of empathy all the way to committing criminal actions without remorse. i did a lot of poking around online about psychopathy as a diagnosis, and traits like 'superficial charm' and 'pathological lying' popped up on more than a few of them. but i'm rambling.

whether or not moonjo was born a psychopath or became one as a result of the abuse he suffered in his younger childhood years, it's worth noting that there's some evidence that it can be inherited. either way, he started out in a home where people thought trouncing on him for being smaller was an okay thing to do. whether or not he plotted their deaths or just snapped and killed his parents one day is obviously up for debate under the current background we have, but it's safe to say that he was never ever your 'average kid' growing up.

did he question what he was going through? or did he simply perceive it as a situation he needed out of? did he start out as the kid who sat in the fetal position in his room and cried until he'd had enough? or was he cold and calculating about it?

i don't want to say i genuinely believe any one thing about a younger moonjo, because my headcanons (especially with this show) tend to grow and change as i learn more. but i do think moonjo always had some level of charm to him. he's a brilliant actor as we see in the show, playing the role of a completely innocent dentist, a fellow resident at eden, a man willing to help out a friend (paying the settlement for jongwoo), and even making jongwoo believe for a split second that he wasn't aware of what the twins were lugging when they were carrying that bag out.

hell, he might have even played his parents a little before he up and killed them. even further, i feel like he probably charmed his way right into the orphanage. ms. um has been said to have done 'community service', so maybe she met moonjo while his parents were still alive and he appealed to her. that being said, she could have also given him the nudge in the right direction to kill his parents.

who knows? in any case, i feel like as a kid, moonjo was just as smart and quick-thinking as he is as an adult. he didn't do anything without purpose, and he knew at least in general what he was going to get by taking action on any given thing. i feel like he's always been a good planner and he's always been a good actor, and charmed his way clear up into being the friendly dentist who just so happens to be a serial killer in secret.

now, jongwoo!

i am forever bitter that we don't get much background on how jongwoo's mother and brother are, or what happened to his father. i do know for certain that they all grew up poor, and as financial standing is super important to social status in south korea, this was relevant to how things went in the show. you see it when jongwoo becomes bitter with jaeho for mentioning him living in a residence all the time, and for how he is just generally treated worse by others because of how broke he is. classism i think holds an important role in sfh in general, because nobody bats an eye at the people living in the residence until junghwa gets involved.

I don't think jongwoo was ever quite at moonjo's level. i don't know enough about psychopathy to say whether or not he's one, but he definitely has tendencies. i.e. saying outright that he'd planned on tracking sergeant cho down after getting discharged from the military, straight up threatening to kill people both in his head and out loud.

i think as a kid he was probably seen as more temperamental, but i also think that it wasn't like in the way that he was always just trying to cause trouble so much as it was his distaste for bad situations. like people picking on him or his brother, or people joking about how his mom works for pennies at a fish market. jongwoo doesn't start swinging until someone gives him a reason to, but he often comes home from school with bruises and a scolding from teachers.

jongwoo says something along the lines of 'my brother, who brings me down' when he's recalling everything that led up to his time in the eden residence, but i don't think that was meant in a loathing manner. his brother is disabled (though a seizure is the only thing they mention at least in the show), so extra care has always been provided to him. their mother (in the absence of their father, for whatever reason) tried to take care of them both to the best of their ability, and it's obvious that jongwoo loves his mother, because he starts crying when she calls to check up on him at the end of the show and he's willing to help out financially even when he doesn't really have much money. the point i'm getting at here is that he has also probably always been protective of his brother, even if it's for his mother's sake.

that all being said, i think jongwoo has a great deal of volatility. what moonjo saw in him is very real and even if it was all a hallucination and part of jongwoo's novel like has been theorized, that even further implies just how unhinged he is.

so as a kid, i imagine jongwoo to be the quiet type who kept to himself and tended to get annoyed with others, but would lash out if a situation called for it. i think he probably thought about going off on people a lot without actually doing it, but he didn't start trouble just for the sake of doing it. he probably thought what he was doing was the 'right' or 'noble' thing to do, even if he took it too far.

wowie i didn't expect this post to be this long. forgive me lmfao

#strangers from hell #hell is other people #yoon jongwoo #seo moonjo

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oswald-privileges · 3 years

Text

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

#Warrior Cats #warriors #The Power of Three #Jayfeather #Hollyleaf #Lionblaze #long post

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definitely-not-a-wasp · 3 years

Note

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived.

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human.

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time.

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.)

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know.

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson.

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either.

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories.

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault.

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval.

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him.

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him.

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.

#maximum ride on main #Maximum Ride rewrite

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citadelspires · 3 years

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P1 - Given how great you're track record's been for doing hypothetical interactions of Amphibia kids with the Duck kids and Owl House kids, let's try doing the Duck kids meeting the Owl House kids and who they'd like the best. I'll exclude Violet for this for the sake of evenening things out 5 to 5. I'd assume Luz would get along best with Dewey (both jump into adventure), King with Louie (could see em teaming up for a scheme), Willow with Huey (eh, more leftover interaction but can work)

Screenshot of second half of the ask provided. Text: P2 Gus with Webby (would totally ask each other lots of questions about their species), and Amity with Lena (both got abusive figures they stood up to and would totally talk about their crushes on Luz and Webby LOL). Would love to see you take on Duck kids and Owl House kids interactions.

First of all I’m very pleased to hear you find my track record on these posts good, they’ve been really fun to write and it makes me really happy people like them! Second I am so sorry it’s taken so long to get to this ask, it’s a really in depth one and it took a long time to write, I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait!

Aight! Oh and one last thing real quick before I get into it. I hope you wouldn’t mind me adding Violet back in, partially due to the fact I love her, but mostly because there’s actually another owl house character I think works significantly better with Louie than anyone else and I really want the chance to talk about that. Saving that one for last hehe. This’ll be another long one, writing below the cut.

Luz and Webby So I do like a lot of the possible interactions brought up by your suggested grouping but my mind went in a few different directions. I’ll start with Luz, who would fit in best with another excitable adventuring partner, as pointed out, but I think the best fit for her in that regard would actually be Webby. While Dewey would no doubt get along great with Luz, there’s a special element to the potential relationship between Luz and Webby that really elevates the potential of their friendship to another level, that being: they both want to eat a hamburger.

An aspect of Webby I wish the later seasons of the show got into a little more, but is definitely something I would consider a core part of her character, is the fact that she got held up in the mansion her whole childhood, with no opportunities to interact with the world around her, have all the adventures she wanted, and most importantly to just be seen as the kid she wanted to be. And while Luz was technically able to go out into the world, the place she found wasn’t one that was willing to see her, or give her any of the chances she longed for. Both Webby and Luz fully understand that feeling of being trapped in your own life, of finally getting the chance to break out and just doing your best to make the most of it. I think there’s a lot the two could gain from spending some time together.

(Also, to borrow the bit about gushing about their crushes but from the other end, these two would totally get sidetracked talking about their respective crushes and also trying to play wingman for each other. It’s a massive comic disaster in both cases, but somehow both Lena and Amity manage to find it endearing).

Amity and Violet Okay wait lemme explain. While the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common at first glance, I think they would genuinely get along extremely well. While a lot of Amity’s focus on school came at the force of her parents, you cannot honestly expect me to believe that girl isn’t a studious nerd on her own anyway. Heck even outside the realm of studies she throws her full dedication into literally every single thing she does. Remind you of anyone? Beyond just being extremely intelligent Violet is clever and ready for anything. She takes everything in stride and always has a plan, she can go from “we were sleeping over and you said everybody get on the plane, so we got on the plane” to “I brought an axe” in a minute flat.

I like to think the two of them would have a mutual respect for each other based on their respective intellects upon first meeting, but as they become closer friends they find they can move from more serious respect to a casual enjoyment of each other. I would go as far as to say that both of these characters really value dependability in a friend, and that they each provide a lot of that. To wrap back around to the stuff about intelligence I think Violet could provide a lot of insight to Amity as far as showing her that pursuing studies and academic heights of her own volition can be something that she can just do because she wants to, and that’s no excuse for unhealthy parental relationships. Getting along so well with someone like Violet only to see that her parents are actually really loving and supportive, that would be really eye-opening for Amity I think. For Violet’s part she could get a lot of help from Amity as far as her pursuit of the secrets of magic goes. I suspect Amity would be much more interested in the study of her magic than Violet would be able to get Lena to tolerate lol.

Bonus Round: Amity would absolutely be a senior junior woodchuck and she would love it you cannot convince me otherwise. She starts quoting the JWGB around the owl house kids and they all look at her like she’s crazy.

Lena and Willow I feel like this one might seem a little out there at first but trust me on this one. Initially Lena doesn’t think too much of Willow, being as close as she is to Webby she knows liking flowers and cute things doesn’t mean Willow is automatically to be taken lightly but she feels like she’s got a good read on her that she generally prefers to avoid trouble and turns down opportunities for violence, which isn’t really Lena’s deal. Over time Lena figures she was right about her first impressions as Willow doesn’t seem to take many opportunities to expose some hidden power, even when Lena knows the people around her kinda deserve it.

She learns to adjust her opinion when she finally does get the chance to see Willow in action and realizes that girl is more powerful than any of the other kids she’s met in the boiling aisles bar none(yes this is my genuine opinion of willow if you don’t think she could kick your ass you’re wrong). It’s at that moment where she starts to pay more attention to Willow and notices a lot more of the strength she puts into all the little things, how much she cares for everyone and everything, and it does a great deal to show Lena that maybe having super strong magic powers isn’t mutually exclusive with being kind and gentle. And maybe gentle isn’t her thing but still, it’s nice to know.

For Willow’s part she’s just happy to make more friends. Especially if the opportunity arises, as I like to think it would, when they’re close enough friends, that Lena would start to hint around asking questions about how Willow remains so casual and nice with the ability to do so much damage, and Willow takes the chance to help Lena figure out her magic a bit more, and learn how to better appreciate it as an aspect of herself she doesn’t have to be scared of. (I mean come on Lena never really learned how to do any of it except barely kind of from Magica of all people she could really use something like that).

Huey and Gus Now there are some certain things about Gus that would drive Huey absolutely nuts. His lack of primary and reliable sources for any of his information being a big one, but at the end of the day I think he’d enjoy Gus’ desire to learn in the first place. Gus would probably be a little dubious about Huey’s “sources” and “citations” but if it helped him get more info on the human realm he’d certainly go for it in the end. In that way the two balance each other out pretty well. Gus is studious and intelligent but he’s a little off the wall, he’s got a big creative streak, and he’s really excitable. Huey is really really good at facts and analysis but he lacks the strength in imagination that Gus has. Huey is able to take all the grandiose concepts Gus is able to think up and help make them actually happen. Gus has that specific brand of an adventurers soul matched up with the fact he’s not actually the type to get into danger and fights, meaning he’s able to drag Huey out of his comfort zone a little and help him reach new heights with his mind that his struggles with creativity prevent him from reaching, while managing to not make him feel like he’s actually in danger. I actually believe the two of them together could get some really incredible stuff done.

What I’m saying is that with Huey’s help Gus could absolutely complete his tunnels under Hexside.

Dewey and King Now this, this is the pair who would go incredibly well together, at the detriment of literally everyone around them. If there is one person King “I Will Rule Everything” Clawthorne should not be exposed to its Dewey Duck. Within minutes of meeting each other the two of them would immediately have so many bad ideas. Between Dewey’s insistence on being the best and most daring adventurer while putting his name on everything and going down in history & King’s trying to rule everything and everyone, the attempts to raise the stakes would be constant and the two would spend literal hours endlessly trying to one-up each other. All in one day they search for legendary treasure, discover an entirely new civilization, try to take over said civilization, create a new species just to name it after themselves, and build statues of themselves in the middle of Bonesbourough. And that’s all before lunch.

Louie Here it is. The one I waited till the very end for out of sheer excitement. I even kept the second name out of the heading thing. That’s how secretive I’m trying to be about this. See, there’s one character in the owl house that works so well with Louie it’s practically canon. Their interactions have so much potential, they each bring so much to the table, I just couldn’t Not talk about it. And yeah, I know this ask was specifically asking about the owl house and ducktales kids, but I just couldn’t resist talking about the relationship between Louie and Eda.

A con artist from another world who was so successful she became nationally famous? There’s no way Louie would pass up an opportunity like that. For his part I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already managed to set up another underworld identity in the boiling aisles, or at the very least that Eda could totally have been to the ducktales realm and heard of his one there.

Either way I’m convinced the two of them would start planning a heist as soon as they figure out who each other are. Eda is a little prideful and wants to show this kid he can’t out-con her, but Louie knows what he’s doing just as much. Honestly with the two of them combined Eda wouldn’t have to worry about losing her stand for a long time. Over the course of their planning and seeing Louie in action Eda begrudgingly gains some respect for the kid, and while Louie was definitely just using her as a learning/profit opportunity at first, he’s pretty susceptible to getting attached.

For Louie, it’s the fact that she actually respects him for being good at what he does. Even back with his family who all love and care about him and all that he still feels like most of them don’t really get what he does or see what’s special about him, so having someone who made a whole life of it be even a little proud of him feels really nice.

And of course, at the end of their heist when they finally have the money in hand, and Eda just casually hands over his half, he stares at her like she’s crazy.

“You’re just.. Giving it to me?!”

“Well, yeah. That was the deal wasn’t it kid? I mean if you really want I definitely have a few ideas for it.”

“No! Uh, no, thanks, I’ll keep it. It’s just that you really remind me of someone, I guess I was expecting something else.”

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khadij-al-kubra · 3 years

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Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things.

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!)

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways.

We can leave the world better than we found it.

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

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