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incarnateirony · 21 days

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Never gonna be able to really turn back from being seen as a pagan blog now or whatever, I think. Oh well.

So lesson one kids: You can travel through multiple pantheons exploring your inner path, but make sure it's a path, not an abstract collection of toys leading you in circles. They need to be leading you home to yourself. If you seem to be getting less and less yourself, or struggling more and more with mental health, you are Probably Not Going The Right Way, no matter what your invisible friends tell you, or whatever.

The average person picks a pantheon to practice under, or a tradition, like Hellenism. They address deities under a given state of forms of understanding. They're often still externalized in modern reconstruction rather than a "found within", but they at least have clear cut paths, practices, expectations, etc. So someone practicing Hellenism has a path, even if they stick to one patheon.

However Hermes for example, he shows you the possible paths and lets you find your way on them, as long as you don't refuse his wisdom or offers in guidance to supplant with your own (like cough some people), or run the other way. But if you check it out, even Hermetics is about All The Paths As One Path, basically, like. If you do this to Osiris you'll do this to Jupiter, don't be a dick. And about breaking down like the layers of man lived as gods. So you end up with multiple pantheon mentions, but a strong direction with deep results even respected by science these days.

But then you get the people who read that you can use Multiple Pantheons or whatever, and start treating gods like collector fetishes. No real internal connection, no real direction or routine to follow, no steps to take, just toys to lay around their house and find reasons to treat yourself to candy after talking to yourself disassociated or w/e.

And you know, even that is fine in a therapy context, but you gotta recognize that's what you're doing. You can't charge people for your own therapy. And if you're picking up your collectors toys and definition from the side of the road, you need to make sure you aren't like... worshipping a random dude you copied the work of badly. Or something. Like, consent is important, kids! If you just want to eat candy while playing off of statues representing parts of yourself as therapy, ok, but you better not be charging people in shop for the octopus jibberish wisdom of your happy meals toys on the mantle.

Anyway, my point being, a path needs a path, and a direction, otherwise it's a pit. If you start becoming rapidly unhinged in a permanent declining state (I'm not talking about moments of gnosis or oracle brief madness), like a trajectory where you can see "Hm, something's changed, I need a dozen pills every few hours and started ripping out my hair, why am I so unstable compared to a handful of years ago?" like. If you're practicing. Take that as a warning sign, kids. You should not start becoming unhinged psychologically if you're on a good path.

Hell, I came unglued for a month or so, but I can mark down why. I was specifically employing mass persona breakdown while my abusive ex wife kept intentionally rattling my shadows and came in on attack, and I got a lot of energy and eyes raised, so the fractals got REAL LOUD while on the gnosis bus, and I was not going to let the work go, and have experienced all the pain, before it was done, especially since it was already there on momentum anyway. But I was still able to dismount the bus, glue my brain back together right, and resume normal function. And hell could still operate in psych at work due to HOW I do my work, the broken personages didn't hurt that at all. But that's the difference. I can control it, cuz I had a path. I can get off the bus. I can go back to being me without having to be medicated back to balance.

Sometimes medication is necessary, I'm a big mental health supporter like look at what I do for a job, but let's stop pretending nobody ever exacerbates their own mental decline because it might hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes those feelings need to be hurt, before the person hurts themselves far worse. Or becomes like crackbear. Or you guys essentially endorse us putting up a tent for literal crazy people to lead new kids down into crazy town and we're supposed to just cope with that and tolerate it Cuz Feelings. Sounds like a false barrier of societal control and conditioning literally set up by the Crazy People under false equality. Dead ass if you lose your old teacher and cobble together your own practices and only THEN start needing to chew on pills like skittles while going bald from ripping your hair out, maybe you fucking turned left at albequerque, and maybe it's not fucking ableism to point that out.

I know tumblr wants to Everybody's Opinion shit, but this used to be common knowledge, elders warned you not to fuck around with things you don't know, elders warned you to do the study, elders warned you to find a path, because that's the only thing keeping you safe. From yourself, really.

But hey, what would I know after a quarter century of study. I guess it's my turn to be the cranky old elder telling kids to stop treating forces they don't understand as games. This applies only to who it applies, so don't get offended and wedge your foot in a shoe if it doesn't fit. If it does fit, that seems like a personal problem.

Yet somehow despite using terms like "elder/kid", my horror is that this post is mostly inspired by a middle aged woman that just refuses any personal accountability and has been locked in Kid mindset her whole life.

At the same time I have a student ten years her younger that actually listens who has come further in a few months than she did in a few decades, because he's trying to perceive the path, and find himself on the way. Not distract himself or find externalizations to rest all his decisions on.

He's out here performing feats already while Crackbear hasn't taken a single step to give herself foundation and still acts mystified that like, some magicians can actually do like.. magic that... DOES things... Dat can't be real, she still can't do SHIT but make one random life decision in middle age to validate her shit. Magic isn't real to her, really, it's just a game to play to appeal to authority. Or feel special or chosen. She used to believe in it, and be able to do things, then she split from her teacher and way and fell into a roleplay twitter hole and everybody else was fake so. I mean. She deluded herself into her delusions being normal/acceptable.

Don't do that. Don't be that person folks.

This isn't like gatekeeping someone from a community like LGBTQ. Religions and spirituality aren't just something you default into membership on if you act completely contrary to it, or start acting like a lunatic. People ABSOLUTELY have the right to tell you to stop blaspheme shitting in their pool next to everybody else and to stop disrespecting their traditions. No white girl whining while picking apart 20 pantheons and cultures for accessory use and no effort is gonna make it right, no matter how many sage sticks you wave around. Modern witchcraft popularized has a bunch of y'all treating this shit like stan twitter, you pick blorbos that look cool on the TL even though half of you never even watched the actual show.

Though one thing I ask people, is, "What is your GOAL following these gods?" You would be surprised how many of them stare at you as deer in headlights. Like. What do you mean a goal. It's just a thing that you do, right? To have magic or something?

I don't like Christianity modernly, but at least Christians can answer "eternal life", even if they're all fucked up on how to get there or their own books. I can say similar completion with the one, same thing different angle/phrasing. Most paths that are paths lead back to a similar thing whether it's Jesus, Buddha, Krishna or Hermes or whatever. But a lot of these people putzing around online like. What's their goal. IDK. Magic? More (invisible) friends? Shrug emoji. Cuz if it was stuff like afterlife, we'd see a lot more action than we do. Which is why I say, this is just games and theater and distraction to a bunch of people.

If you ever want to be like some Great Magus who Performed Some Works that made you Shit Your Pants, the path to that is not by reblogging random excuses, picking up random toys, and showing up with your biweekly oreo offering asking them to unfuck you for you if you won't unfuck yourself. I fucking promise you. So like, do you want magic? Do the work. Do you want afterlife? Do the work. Do you want peace of mind? Do the work. The work can vary depending on the path but smashing toy soldiers together is playtime, not spirituality. The oreo is your own reward for self perceived good behavior at that point, it's snackie time. IDK if you notice, most great magicians ended up *dead* before their time because of the work they put in to become what they were. See: jesus. He's pretty famous, I hear.

Given that MFer took 3 days to respawn lol nooooob. Laaaag. I kid, I love Jesus, he's great at parties. Put your finger in my cup, my brother in self. I just like to make the joke since mine was instant under gunfire. But I mean. Jokes aside. The rest is just blunt truth.

#witchblr

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lovely-necromancy · 3 years

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A Cure for Insomnia CH 1.

This is a reader insert I originally started posting on AO3. I’m cross posting here because I know some of the fandom still lives here.

Quick Disclaimer:

This is a fic I'm writing for my own comfort.

I was inspired by RaeBees (you can check out their works over on Quotev and AO3), and how they characterize the "proxies". Having always seen the characters different than most of the fandom I've interacted with I never really shared my thoughts until now. This work is only placed in the Creepypasta tag so it reaches its demographic. However, I am fully aware of the fact that no main character is considered a Pasta.

It may also appear to lean more Toby X Protag in the beginning but end goal is protag with all three, and Brian and Tim already in a relationship. How I picture it now is a slowburn but Toby and Protag will be in a friends with benefits relationship before either has any feelings, so I think that counts. Some may be confused by the asexual protag tag but it'll be explained in story, as an Ace myself I get frustrated with media that only show one version and say it goes for us all. That being said I don't represent the whole Ace community but I hope to provide a bit more representation for some others out there.

Protag will be depicted as agender, and will have a few tics that stem from their Autism. Again I don't speak for any others with Autism but I hope to provide some representation for those in similar positions.

Tags will be updated as the story progresses. Canon-Typical violence and mental health issues are to be expected if you feel uncomfortable with those aspects I advise you to not engage. This story will also have a lot of NSFW themes and scenes so I highly discourage anyone under the age of 18 from viewing this work. You will get warnings on chapters with NSFW and I will make it skippable as well.

I'm also very nitpicky and gave the main characters birthdays just because it irritates me when it gets mentioned once and you have to do the math or imagine your own conversation when a birthday was too close to a character's.

Tim January 1st, home state Alabama

Toby April 28th, home state Virginia (saw this years ago no clue if it's accurate)

Protag May 13th, home state Virginia

Brian May 23rd, home state Alabama

Connor the service dog July 18th, home state Kentucky

I've referred to Protag as Protag here but in story they're referred to as YN.

Everything felt impossibly dull; your senses, the dark room you're currently in, the noise coming from the fan just to the left of the bed on which you laid. Turning to the window beside your head you stare out into that weird midnight summer sky. More of a gray than a true dark blue night, cast in an orange glow that made the night seem closer to day than it truly was. While the time was just half past twelve, you felt it may have been more accurate to say it was closer to four in the morning.

You're exhausted but that true sort of exhaustion where whatever energy you have left buzzes all around. It consumes your entire being, dances between being deafeningly loud in your ears to giving you twitches in your legs. You'd laid down hours ago thinking you'd be tired enough to sleep once your tics started to spasm in closer intervals, but to no avail were you able to rest. That buzzing preventing you from dreamland. Maybe the hum of your body was right, you didn't really need to sleep, you just wanted it to feel normal.

Knowing the battle had already been lost you push yourself off the bed and grab a pair of shorts off the floor. Slipping them on you contemplate your options for the night. Going into town was out since it was Sunday...well Monday now, but there would be nothing but bars open and you were never one for drinking. And as fun as a drive sounds right now, you feel the buzzing in your bones grow stronger, you need to move. A late night hike should keep you occupied, with it being so quiet and the middle of the night you wouldn't even have to take your headphones to cancel out the sounds of other people, you aren't likely to run into many people tonight.

Deciding on a hike you grab a mask and car keys and make your way to your yellow Kia Soul. A going away present from your parents that they gave you the moment you got your driver's license after your 24th birthday. Having anxiety throughout your life you'd never been in the head space to start driving till later on, and while you still don't enjoy driving you are pretty good at it even with your “late” start. Surfing through radio stations as you let the car warm up you find your latest obsession, it's a conspiracy theory podcast that someone in Kepler managed to blast through the limited air ways of the town. Impressive considering Kepler was in a radio quiet zone and even cell phones couldn't work in the small town, luckily you lived just outside of the zone so you could send texts and call your parents every weekend.

It seemed today's episode was a rerun, Mothman: Murderer, Man, or Myth. It was actually one of your favorites, the paranormal stories tended to be more entertaining than hearing about how a man could murder sixteen people while working as a cop ruining evidence to lead the others off his trail. Humans could be more vial and cruel than any little gray alien from the future or tall Fresno Nightcrawler could ever be. And they weren't as entertaining to hear about, nor were their exploits as impressive. You could always see patterns, either connecting clues first or finding connections no one else saw, it was never hard to tell where a certain case would lead so you'd always end up disappointed in humanity when they overlooked such obvious clues. Though that often led you down a path of deep diving for information to see just how obvious it was, more often than not you'd find that the most logical conclusion was shady public officers. After investigating so many cold cases you're sure if you're ever in trouble you'll never involve the police, in the end they'd probably just ignore you and rule your case closed if anything ever did happen to you.

'I'd haunt them if they did.' You decide and you shift gears and begin driving to the Monongahela National Forest, as the timeline of Mothman sightings and events play out before for your ears.

Instead of going through town and possibly loosing the signal of the show, you drive on the old dirt road that runs along the very edge of the town, partially covered in trees. This over grown road is the main reason Kepler doesn't see many visitors, the second someone makes their way onto it coming off the interstate they floor it until they see civilization. Over the few months you've been here you've nearly been run right off the road by spooked tourists, trying to escape whatever ghouls their wild imaginations created. The only real thing on this road was a mini mart gas station, and even though it was shady as hell the cashier didn't bug you too much when you came in in the dead of night. Plus they had a cat, how could you not stop in and say hi to little ole Magnolia?

Speaking of which you should probably get a drink for your hike, you could already feel your throat drying out. Turning into the parking lot you're happy to see no other cars around, putting your face mask on you make your way inside. As usual the store is dead at this time, and Ronnie is manning the desk. What's unusual is the man also behind the counter, he has dark brown hair that he's tied into a small and low ponytail, thick sideburns frame his face. You immediately take note of the slight imperfections of his face, most would see the slit in his eyebrow as following the current trend or even just a genetic thing, but you can see the slightly off color of a healed scar that starts just above his eyebrow and ends mid eyelid, he has a few smaller discolorations on his crooked nose, you'd guess he's had it broken at least twice.

Briefly taking a glance to his brown eyes before looking away, today is not an eye contact day. Nodding in their directions, the best acknowledgment you can give right now, you make your way to the freezers. From the freezer section you can hear Ronnie “explain” you.

“That's YN, a regular mainly at night though. A bit skittish and rarely ever says more than 'thanks have a nice day'” Even though she's whispering you can hear everything. Including the high octave her voice takes to mimic you, it feels more like mocking.

If being mocked hadn't already put you on edge the eyes boring into you have. The eyes may not be roaming over your body but the icky crawling of your skin sure makes it feel that way. The feeling of being put under a microscope has always made you sick, the stares, the leers and sneers, and the judgment just makes you want to implode on the spot. Cease existence, be swallowed into the abyss. You're about to set yourself into an anxiety attack with all these thoughts.

'Mask, mask, mask' you repeat over and over in your head, it's the only thing you can focus on. You are wearing a mask, there is one thing they can't perceive, the face is the most important for humans to perceive, your mask protects you.

Without looking you pull a water bottle from the cooler. You don't think you like this brand but the sports mouth makes up for it, and you can't focus enough to grab another. As the imaginary spiders crawl their way under your skin and your breath hitches you make your way over to the counter head down, never looking up at the employees beyond the counter. Your vision is blurring in time with the beating of your heart, you can't tell if it's due to nerves or from being up for five days in a row.

“Hey YN, how're you?” Ronnie asks, her tone is different from the past times you've been in. It's higher and has a lilt in it that you'd expect from a teasing friend. But Ronnie isn't a friend and has never spoken to you like this, you hate it. You nod to politely move on with the process, between the crawling of your skin and the buzzing underneath it you feel sick. And you're now very aware of the existence of your eyelids, you try to focus on ignoring that awareness. You need to move.

“Hmm, that's good. Anyway this is Tim! He's just started so go easy on him.” you hear the sound of a hand hitting fabric and assume she's patted Tim's shoulder as she introduced Tim to you. Why was she doing this, what purpose could introducing you two have? You nod again, was anyone going to ring you out?

“Hi, this all?” a deep voice asked, it isn't extremely deep more of a standard baritone that has a slight raspy quality, probably a reformed smoker. You don't smell cigarettes currently so he could've quit after years. Unfortunately despite your efforts to stave them off your blinking tics emerge. Making it difficult to keep your eyes open for longer than a nano second.

Startled and ticcing you look up and catch his eyes, you see pity in them, before casting your glance back to the counter. You can never tell what's worse people seeing you as weird or seeing you as something needing to be fixed. Nodding again, Tim tells you the total; a dollar fifty eight, and you hand him two dollars from your wallet.

Tim doesn't ask if you want the receipt or a bag, he prints out the receipt and hands you your change. The change goes immediately into the cat food fund for Magnolia. She got diagnosed with diabetes about a month ago and having worked in shelters and pet stores you know just how expensive her prescription food is. After folding the receipt into your wallet, Tim gently slides the water bottle over to you.

“Have a good night.” he says it so low and gentle, as if he thinks you'll shatter in front of him. As kind as the gesture seems, you aren't that fragile...or maybe you are if you have to keep repeating 'mask' over and over in your head to ground yourself. With a final nod you turn and make your way to the door, and just as you open it you hear Ronnie call out.

“Awwww, c'mon YN at least say 'Hi' to Tim.” You really don't like how she squeaked out 'hi'.

Taking a deep breath you prepare yourself, you'll show them both you can do this simple task. Even if you can't stop blinking long enough to see straight. Once you've steadied yourself you turn and look at Tim. He's sending you a look that says 'You don't have to' all that's missing is a slow head shake to complete his unease with this “peer pressure”.

But you can do this you can say 'Hi, Tim.' Two words super simple, nothing complex like 'Hi, Tim, nice to meet you.' and so much better than the option of your next meeting saying 'Hi, Tim. Sorry for spazzing out the other night.'. Yup you can do this just breathe, you open your mouth and...and you've forgotten what to say. Looking like a deer in headlights, well at least the tics stopped, you say the first thing that pops in.

“Mask.” You've said it loud and clear both cashiers heard you.

Tim stares with wide eyes and you see Ronnie failing to hide her laughter. Out of all the ways this could've gone this was probably the best outcome for her. The blinking has started up again, this time growing more frequent. You can't even hold your eyes open, to the two cashiers it must look like you're in pain or crying. And while you want to die of embarrassment, crying is a bit of an extreme for you.

So with red face and the inability to see you leave through the door, and try to make your way back to your car. Once in you lock the doors, switch the car on, and rest your head on the steering wheel. Out of every way this stop could've gone, being perceived by a new comer and Ronnie was not what you expected. While this hadn't been the worst five minutes or so of your life, it definitely would be another thing keeping you up at night for the next twenty years.

Calming down in the cool quiet dark of your car your slowly brought back to the world by the beginning of a new episode. This one talking about the Tailypo legend. A favorite story of yours from when you were a kid living on the coast of Virginia. So with yet another deep breath and the wave of nostalgia, you pull out of the parking lot and slowly coast down the old dirt road. Heading yet again for the Monongahela forest.

It's nearly two in the morning when you roll up to see an RV parked by the forgotten entrance of the park. It isn't surprising at all to find an RV out here since the Monongahela Forest is one of the most beautiful parks you've ever been to. You also don't think anything of them being parked by this unused entrance because you use it all the time since finding it accidentally. Figuring they just wanted to camp and be left to their own devices rather than use the RV sites and be bothered with other campers here for the summer.

Climbing out of your car you notice the RV isn't new by any means but it isn't a total rust bucket either, looks like it's been passed around throughout the years. There isn't anything to suggest it's been here a while, nothing left set up outside, must have just gotten into town then. You do happen to notice dog tracks around the sandy dirt you've parked in, good to know they have a dog before you slammed your car door. Closing the door gently behind you so you don't startle a pup and wake up it's owner or owners, you make your way through the woods. No real direction in mind, with no real thought in your head. Just the thought of moving and to keep on moving.

You could walk the same path every time you came through and always find something different. In fact that's exactly what happens, you're almost positive that you've deepened the imprint of the path just from walking through several times a week. Following the same winding path you usually do, climbing over the fallen tree, and through a scattering of blueberry thicket's you find yourself on the edge of one of the forest's many streams. It's your favorite spot in the forest so far, and about as far as you've gotten considering these hikes of yours take place during the dead of night.

The wind picks up and sends a chill through you, taking that as a sign you slide down to sit by the stream. Vans placed to your side as you sink your feet into the cool water. It's peaceful out here, so cool, and quiet, save for the slight noises the stream makes, various bubbling and drips. You try to think on things like your recent move, your job, the embarrassing 'mask' incident, just life in general. But you can't seem to form a single thought, this happens a lot, you've recently been conscious of the fact that you've been running on auto pilot for the past two months, hell a lot longer than that. You think everyone must get like this from time to time, but you think you've always been this way. Keen to dissociating and slipping in and out of existence.

It's quite nice really, except for the times like right now where you'd love to figure out why the silence in your head is so painfully loud. The more you think on it the louder it gets and the stronger the buzzing under your skin feels. And right now the static in your mind has been getting louder and louder for the past few minutes. You feel your head jerk to the right of it's own accord, moving back in place it happens for a second time, and then a third, then jerks up, before jerking a forth time to the right effectively cracking you neck.

“There we go.” you mumble, you can relax a bit as the verbal tic indicates the end of this round of tics.

Sighing you look at the sky...that can't be right. The sky has been painted it's fresh baby blues for the day, but again that can't be right. You just got to the stream, that path is a thirty minute walk meaning it should be just about two thirty in the morning, but the sky suggests it's five or six at the latest. Reaching for your water bottle you find it empty next to you. You didn't fall asleep you know that much, perhaps you did dissociate tonight. Well this hike was disappointing if you knew you were going to dissociate you'd have saved yourself that embarrassment and stayed home. Maybe done some painting or tidied up.

Sighing you push yourself off the ground, collecting you vans you're about to put them on when you notice a figure off in the distance. You freeze out of shock and stare at the figure, it stares back. The figure is about ten yards away, god your near sighted ass should really remember to not leave your glasses in the car when hiking. The figure starts to make it's way to you and after a few steps you realize it hasn't moved from it's spot. Rolling your eyes you ignore the hallucination.

You'd really needed to get sleep last night, today is day six of no sleep and though you haven't had many episodes these past few days, you have a feeling they'll start to get more prominent today. Hopefully tonight you can manage to get some rest, the longer you go without sleep the more realistic the hallucinations become. But for today you're content with the knowledge that it's just shadow like beings that you'll be seeing.

After putting on your shoes you start the thirty minute hike back to your car. You're thankful for the weather in Kepler, nothing like back on the coast. Here you can go for a morning hike through the forest while a gentle breeze passes by and the sun starts to give the area a pleasant warmth. Back on the coast you couldn't run and grab the mail without getting drenched in moisture from either sweat, humidity, or a mixture of both. The coast sucks, hell Virginia sucks altogether, you're glad to be in Kepler.

“I want to go home, home.” you say out of nowhere.

Before you reach the entrance you hear barking, oh the RV campers must be up. Should you be careful not to scare them, or just walk normally and say 'Good morning' in passing, maybe just nod your head in greeting. Oh and you've stopped just beside the entrance as you got lost in your rambling. You didn't mean to come to a stop here, and as you try to move you notice how silent it's gotten. Did the dog go inside, maybe they've already passed...no it's too quiet for that. No the silence is oppressive like the one you deal with nightly, there's a reason for the silence. The situation's making you feel uneasy, but that could be the sleep deprivation talking.

You're about to brush it off and move when you hear a whispered, “Seriously man, I don't think anyone's out there. Let's get inside.”

There's a noise of agreement before you hear shuffling. Oh no, you zoned out and now you look like a weirdo stalker. Just perfect, maybe if you wait around a little more you'll seem more normal or at least feel normal. Not knowing how long to wait you walk along the tree line for a bit, looking at the ground as you do making sure you won't step on any snakes. In you quest to not step on any snakes you spot something suspiciously off white. It seems purposefully buried under a dead blueberry bush and some fallen branches.

Having listened to too many true crime shows, you know better than to implicate yourself in a murder. Grabbing a stick off the ground you gently brush the foliage away from the supposed corpse. No way, you can't believe your luck, it's an actual fucking skull. An intact skull of a deer! That is so cool, you've only seen taxidermists on TikTok getting so lucky and finding these dudes. Since the jaw bone is connected by tissue it of course isn't with the skull but maybe it's close by? Clearly this got planted or hidden by someone, maybe they were planning on pranking a friend by 'uncovering' a skull later. Oh well, finders keepers and all that, you have way better plans for this guy, hopefully you can find that jaw bone.

You set off searching through the foliage and near by bushes with the branch while holding the skull in your other arm. After searching about three feet around and finding no more bones you decide that this is the only part of the deer's skeleton in this area. A little disappointed but still thrilled with your find, you decide it must be a good time to go back to your car.

Surely you won't look weird now. You a little forager with their treasure in hand. Looks like you'll be busy cleaning, then bleaching, and cleaning these bones today. Is that the order to treat found bones? You aren't sure but you can look into that later. Placing the skull in the trunk so it doesn't roll about and get damaged you make sure it's secure before closing the trunk and getting into your car and locking the doors.

Not once did you notice the pairs of eyes that had been watching you. One watching as you found the deer skull, and the other set seeing you place bones into your car. They kept watching as you fiddled with the radio while the car was starting up. They watched as you pulled out of the sandy dirt lot and drove back down the old road a little faster than before now that you could clearly see.

#creepypasta fanfic #ticci tobyx reader #brain thomas x reader #timothy wright x reader #masky x reader #hoodie x reader #reader insert #no clue if I'm reaching a wider audience than AO3 but I'll try this out #Crossposted #as of now 13 chapters are over on AO3 if you wanted to read #other wise I'll post a chapter every 3 days on here until I catch up with AO3 #Ao3 has priority #A cure for insomnia

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blueprint-han · 3 years

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midnight walk — bang chan.

— “I have to go back to the dorms, and so do you.”

— “in which you and chan walk through a park during midnight to catch up on some much needed alone time, and you’re prominently reminded of how much you love him, and he does too.”

pairing: chan x (gn) reader

word count: 3 k

genre: fluff, boyfriend au, idolverse au (though not very prominent throughout the fic)

⇥ warnings: none, very self indulgent making out but nothing sexual, just kissing. minimal dialogue, kissing in public even though there’s no people around, also this situation is just for fictional purposes okay, I am not encouraging any acts of pda that takes place here between idols or anyone (quite frankly i have no idea about it’s legality, but as I said, it’s fictional), it’s just for entertainment purposes. Please take it as such. Also this park is huge and Chan and Y/N walk pretty slowly, and they’re from different companies.

type: drabble.

⇥ disclaimer: This fic does not intend to represent the actions of the real Bang Chan in any way, shape of form, nor does it intend to represent JYPE. Events are pure fiction, please take them as such.

note — Something soft because I wanted to write. This idea was brought up in a convo between me and ella and it was originally for han but then I wrote it for chan because i need my comfort kpop boy right now. Also @meiiyue. I hope this is not shit but i have no idea haha. Please, please leave feedback. Not edited, please excuse grammatical errors and typos. I;m sorry is this is trash, I really haven’t written seriously in a while ;-;

The air over here is way too moist.

So much so that you can feel beads of sweat litter the top of your brow the moment it’s been five minutes since you’ve arrived. You suppose you can’t complain when you and Chan made up the plan to meet immediately after a heavy downpour — you loved the smell of rain and he wanted to see you — it was a win-win situation.

But where is he?

You wipe your forehead with the back of your sleeve, clutching your umbrella tightly in one hand while simultaneously going through your phone with the other. Your surroundings are calm, quiet, peaceful, exactly what you need to delve into your own thoughts and relax from the actual week you’d gone through. You can feel the tension in your shoulders, very very slowly, seep away as a blanket of mental peace is wrapped around your shoulders. As nice as it feels to be alone in this quiet place, all you want right now, is to hold your boyfriend’s hand and revel in nature.

You make a “tsk” noise, brushing the hair stuck to your face before scrolling through your contacts. You’re about to click on the one that says “channieeee <3″ when you feel hands — warm hands, grab at your shoulders from behind, and you shriek at the sudden shock that overcomes you. Owing to it being very quiet in this park, you slam a hand over your mouth, turning around to see the only person you were waiting for this whole time, albeit not this way.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You frown, though a small smile does pull at your lips when your eyes meet his warm brown ones.

“I was letting you know of my presence?”

“By sneaking behind me and giving me a heart attack?”

“I was going to give you a back-hug—” Chan points out, waking around the bench to sit down next to you, not needing to ask at all. “—but then you screamed and I had to revoke it.”

A part of you wishes that had happened — as terrifying as that encounter was, Chan gives great hugs. One of a kind. It’s almost like every time his hands wrap around your waist or shoulders, every inch of stress, thoughts melt away, leaving you in a calm state of bliss. That’s what Chan’s hugs are — pure bliss and honestly, your escape.

You give yourself a second to analyze his sharp features. Soft eyes, delicate smile, the pale, soft skin on his cheek so inviting. In this place where you and Chan are together, all you want to do is crawl into his arms, let go of the barrier that surrounds you and just be... yourself. You want to cup his cheeks and kiss him, just like you do whenever you meet up in secret.

But there’s more secrecy and hiding involved in an idol’s life.

“Yeah, yeah.” You say, fixing your mask properly over your nose before standing from your place. “You know better than to revoke my hugs, Christopher.”

Chan chuckles in endearment. You only call him Christopher when you’re unsure of your own statement, and it’s evident in the way your words end like you’re questioning him. Chan’s waiting for the “...right?” that should be following soon, but, oh well. He knows himself that denying you isn’t something his heart would allow, especially not when you look at him like that.

Eyes gleaming under the dim lights of the park at midnight, a soft, almost unseen smile that only he’s allowed to see adorning your lips, and soft, unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. You didn’t even have to tell him you missed him, or that you wished to be in his arms again, because the connection between the both of you was on a whole other level — he could read all your emotions, just from looking into your eyes.

“Can’t deny that, can I?” He says, getting up from his seat before smoothing his shirt, while you put your phone into your pouch and fix your coat. Then, his hands silently seek your own, lacing his fingers with your own as warmth spreads through your chest. His hand feels soft, even more so than the last time you met him. In a silent want to hold him close to you, you tighten your grip as you smile at him and he reflects it back.

You walk around the path slowly, each step lingering against the mossy ground for a good second before moving on to the other. It’s so, so calming. The cold, moist winds refreshingly cool against your skin now that you’re not sitting idle in one place, the darkness in the park oddly calming. There’s the slight chirping of insects that resounds through the space like gentle music, and eventually, you feel yourself relax as you take in your surroundings.

“So, how was your week?” You ask, feeling yourself blush when you silently lean your head against your shoulder whilst walking, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he snakes an arm around your waist, sending shivers up your spine when he gently smooths the fabric of your coat with his thumb.

“Stressful, honestly.” The both of you turn around the corner without second thought. You’ve done this so many times, it’s like your bodies are being pulled to the place you wish so hard to be in right now. You missed him. You missed him so, so much. You can see the stress lines on his forehead and the darkness around his eyes, almost sure that he isn’t getting enough sleep either. After a long pause where you take in his words, he murmurs silently. “Missed you during the shoot.”

“Awh darling,” You coo, pressing a soft kiss onto his shoulder, and even though he doesn’t feel it through his own coat, Chan can feel himself smile affectionately. Every tiny gesture you provide is just so... attracting. Comforting. Be it lacing your fingers through his hair and stroking gently to lull him into sleep or just a hand against his thigh, a soft whisper of an “I’m here” when his stress gets the best of him and he’s clinging desperately onto your shirt, fluttering of your lips all over his face the occasional time you wake up together, or just this — walking through a park at midnight because it’s hard to meet up when you’re both popular idols, hand in hand with almost no words spoken. Everything about you is just so... beautiful. “Did you eat and drink well this week?”

“I did. You wouldn’t stop texting me every day, remember?” Chan laughs, the kind that makes your heart flutter and do backflips.

“It’s very necessary. We both know you're total ass at taking breaks.”

“Hey!” Chan pouts, almost offended at your statement. “I’m trying, okay?” He then smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the fruity scent of your shampoo. “Besides, I have an amazing girlfriend to remind me, am I right?”

“Yeah yeah.” You brush him off, feeling the light grow darker in a particular section of the path, and that’s when you know you’ve reached the place you’ve been walking towards. There’s a bench placed in this place too — it’s the perfect spot for hidden conversations and maybe, kisses, because the chicken wire is completely hidden by trees, making this spot invisible from the outside.

“There it is.” You point out and Chan follows in pursuit, dusting the seat off for you slightly. Once you’ve sat down, you feel your cheeks burn, because the events that take place once the both of you find this spot has been engrained in your mind at this point. They’re the kind that get you flustered every time you see Chan in the JYP building the next day.

The chirping of insects is so much more intense here, yet you don’t even hear it when Chan puts an arm on your shoulder, gently sweeping his thumb against the material of your overcoat, a soft smile taking over his lips as your eyes lock.

A gush of wind then sweeps past you, the chill in the air higher over here than near the entrance. You lean into Chan and he gets the idea immediately, pulling his coat over the both of you as you snuggle into his shoulder. He’s warm, so warm, so cozy, all you want to do is melt into his embrace and stay. Stay locked in this position you’ve grown accustomed to and found yourself in many times, with the gentle murmur of wind and chirping resounding all around you, almost like you’re trapped in utopia. You want to stay right here, but unfortunately, time runs fast.

“It’s cold.” He comments, and you let the words settle into the air.

“You’re warm.”

At that, Chan feels his smile widen genuinely, his grip on your shoulders tightening just the slightest before he trails up to tangle his fingers with your hair. You feel yourself tense before melting further, lifting your head up to look into his eyes, and my gosh, you can see the whole galaxy in them. His eyes are more sparkly, more lustrous than the clear night sky that lies above him, though the combined visual is truly enough to take your breath away.

“Always for you.”

One second, you feel his hand gently hold your chin and tip your head up, and the next, he leans to press his lips to your own. A mixture of warmth, fuzziness and nervousness bubbles inside you, mostly because you’re suddenly aware of the fact that you’re in the park — pitch black with dim lighting, yes, but still a public space.

Well, blame it on you for telling your partner you wanted thrill in your life when you were on your first date. It wasn’t a regular occurrence when you and Chan had the idea of meeting up at the park every Saturday midnight, kissing each other at midnight in a park where the trees were barely covering the partitions. Quite frankly, you have no idea when this whole thing started, all you know is that it became quite a frequent occurrence to go home with your cheeks feeling warm and your thumbs fidding with the collar of your shirt.

Your hands stay frozen on your lap and your brain fills with white noise. His lips feel so, so soft against your own as you basically melt against him. You can feel your knees go weak even though you’re sitting down, and Chan’s hands immediately grip your arms as though to cage you from your surroundings. Being in his arms seems like a whole other world to you. They surround you like that warm whiff of air when you get back home after a cold day at work, lock you against his body and protect you against any negativity that may threaten to look your way. Being in his arms, you feel like you’re in a cage you never want to get out from. A cage in which you are complete, you are content, you are loved.

And so, you gently press your palm to his cheek, running his thumb against the high end of his cheekbone, humming when you feel the soft skin underneath. His lips linger against your own for two seconds before he pulls away, feeling your delicate touch against his cheek. Then, he slowly turns to brush his lips against your palm, leaving a soft kiss there, and my god, you feel like your heart is gonna beat out of your chest. It’s too much for you to handle, his gestures are too sweet, to loving for you to not turn into a flustered mess.

He leans in once again, and this time, you cup his cheeks, pulling him closer until your lips meet and move in a synchrony of pure bliss. The hum he lets out is your favorite kind of music, it always build up the want for you to hear more. It’s just a pure expression of love that the both of you share, erasing every memory of anything else except each other. You love him, he loves you. That is all, and that is enough.

You never really knew that the man who wore his heart on his sleeve would end up meaning so much to you, but now that he’s yours, you never want to let him go.

It seems very practiced, owing to the countless times you’ve done this before, yet making your heart flutter all the same when the words “I love you” leave his lips in a hushed whisper. Only you’re allowed to hear those words, that tone, that beaming smile that pulls at his lips when his eyes meet your own even in this darkness. Even in this darkness, he thinks you look absolutely stunning, and all he wants to do is tell you how much he loves you over and over again. Well, that’s love. And love is an amazing thing to experience, you can say for sure.

You let yourself smile into the kiss before leaving a quick peck and pulling away, feeling him do the same before opening his eyes and gazing at your features. You shyly look to the side, noticing the leaves that sway gently where the gentle wind hits them.

Even though the atmosphere is cold, you feel fuzzy and warm when Chan giggles, sparing a quick look to his watch before intertwining your fingers with his.

“Come on, we have some time before leaving, we can play on the swings.”

Oh, he knows the child in you too well.

When you’re done swinging the swings and collecting some flowers that seem fresh, you circle the route of of the park and back to the entrance, it’s already one in the morning. Most — especially your group members — would argue that the both of you should’ve been sleeping by now, owing to your hectic schedule that leaves you weary by the end of the day. But you tell them sometimes, just to get that one hour to spend with your lover, you’re willing to make the sacrifice — and seeing the loving, misty glint in your eyes, they understand.

“So, I guess... I’ll see you tomorrow?” Chan says, and you kick the air gently before pulling your mask over your face. Seeing you, he does the same.

“Yeah, you’ll be in your studio, right? I can drop by.”

“Yeah. So, um...” You and Chan can never seem to ever part ways once your quality time with each other comes to a halt, the both of you want to reach out and embrace, and never leave. You often wonder what lead to your silent life being plagued with the essence of love, but then you see Chan, and you smile when you realise the answer.

And so, as if trying to hold onto the moment, freeze time a bit, you turn to him and pull him into a hug. He immediately responds and wraps his arms around your shoulders, resting his head on your neck as you sway from side to side. The road is quiet with the occasional vehicle speeding past, but you pay no attention to it. All you feel is Chan’s welcoming arms, his familiar smell that clouds your senses and makes you feel relaxed than ever.

“I love you, so much.” You murmur, not even sure if he’s able to hear it, but he does. He always does.

“I love you too.”

At that, you try to pull away to look into his eyes one last time, but Chan doesn’t let you, pulling his arms tighter across you and holding you close.

You laugh. “Chan.”

“Yes?” He drags the word and smirks mischievously.

“I have to go back to the dorms, and so do you.” You remind. “It’s late.”

“Mmh, alright.” He says, straightening himself from the embrace but not quite letting go yet. “But give me one more kiss before you go.”

You raise an eyebrow before looking around. While the interior of the park does have trees and stuff to cover the walls, the entrance doesn’t, and that sparks some nervousness within you, though you aren’t exactly worried. You’ve gotten away with stuff like this before, when either of you gets clingy and wants that one last lingering moment before you go your separate ways.

You lean in slowly and he just stands there, waiting for you to kiss him with that smile that he just can’t contain when he looks at you. When you pull both your masks down and your lips meet, it’s only for one tiny peck. You then quickly pull away and pull your mask over your face again, and Chan, though giggling furiously at the way he can see you’ve gone a little warm at the action, does the same.

You then bid goodbye and walk your way back home, the warmth that lingers all over skin so, so soothing to your mind. It’s like someone took away all your worries, leaving you in a bubble of contentment. It’s almost surprising how in the grand scheme of things, one person could stumble into your way and completely take your breath away, all because of the word we call love. You’ve realised how love means so much to you after Chan entered your life, and you don’t seem to be changing that idea any time soon.

When you’re almost close to home, your phone dings with a message, with the sender id “channieeee <3″. Instantly, you click on the message.

channieeee <3: so channieeee <3: same time tomorrow? channieeee <3: pls 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 pls pls pls pls-

A dizzy, pure smile captures your expression, and so, not wanting to delay your plans to meet your lover again, you reply.

y/n: same time tomorrow, then 🥺💞 love you <3

*:･ﾟ✧ find the other fics here !

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redphlox · 3 years

Text

The Todorokis and the Takamis

Hello hello hello! Okay, so the fan translated chapter of BNHA 299 came out and I’m drowning in a downpour of feelings and parallels. So, below this cut, I’ll discuss parallels between Shouto and Hawks, Hawks and Endeavor, the Todoroki siblings and Keigo, and Rei and Tomie. I’ll also comment on the realistic depiction of domestic abuse survivors and dysfunctional family dynamics within the manga. Thanks in advance for reading!

The only hero Shouto probably had been exposed to as a child because he was isolated was his own dad, who abused his family. Shouto didn't want to be a hero because, as he had experienced personally, heroes were bad people who hurt their loved ones. The fire quirk he inherited from his father was something that hurt others. He had no other frame of reference for the fire quirk; his mother, who was kind and loving, had an ice quirk, Natsuo and Fuyumi had an ice quirk, and Touya (if Shouto even has memories of this) was being hurt by his own fire quirk. No wonder five year old Shouto was fearful of his left side and the thought of becoming a hero.

But that changed when Rei introduced him to All Might via a television recording she showed him in secret. Shouto learned that his father wasn’t representative of all heroes. Not all heroes hurt their families, and this meant Shouto’s fire quirk was his to use for good. He realized his dad was, ironically, a bad hero, and that it was okay to want to be a hero because Shouto would be a good one. Even if Shouto forgot this lesson in the years after Rei was hospitalized, the memory was there and rekindled during the sports festival. Shouto truly does believe in heroes because he’s seen proof of it in All Might, who indirectly saved Shouto and his belief in heroes just by being himself on that television show. Shouto also believes in heroes because he believes in himself - he’s a kind person, and he wants to be a kind hero. That’s why he chose his hero name to be his given name: Shouto.

Hawks, like Shouto, was also isolated from the world. He didn't have any interaction with or exposure to heroes except for on television. His father was physically and mentally abusive, and his mother emotionally distant as a result of domestic abuse. When Endeavor, a hero Hawks had a plushie of because his mom had given it to him in secret, indirectly saved him from an abusive household by arresting his father, Hawks started believing in heroes. They were real, and he was proof people could be saved because he hadn’t even been asking for help and Endeavor did it anyway. The plushie his mom had gotten him to play with as a substitute for not being able to go outside, the one Hawks held onto for comfort when he felt sad and alone, came “alive” and saved him.

But Hawks was still in a bad situation because his mother's mental health wasn't in the best state after years of enduring domestic abuse. Hawks’ mother Tomie learned to view Hawks as the chain between herself and the Thief Takami. She might have been stuck in a "stay together for the kid" situation, coupled with financial instability and, on Takami's part, a begrudging sense of social responsibility to help raise the kid he fathered. Tomie learned to associate Takami’s feathers with pain, and because Hawks has feathers like his father and the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, she says, “you’re his son, aren’t you?”

But Hawks soon finds good in the world and good in himself when he saves people during that accident. By saving others, he has saved himself without even intending to. The commission essentially takes him away from his mother who, because to her mental instability due to years of abuse, couldn’t raise him or nurture him. After abandoning his name, Hawks held on to Endeavor as a source of inspiration. Hawks had an idol he could look up to and be like as he trained at the commission. Endeavor was an example of how to stay strong and never lose hope. After all, everyone knew it would be pointless to try and surpass All Might but Endeavor kept trying anyway, despite the impossibilities. Young Hawks admired that because he was stuck in a similar situation - he never even dared to hope his life would get better until Endeavor arrested Takami the Thief. So to this day, Hawks idolizes Endeavor the hero.

Hawks, as an outsider to the Todoroki family, doesn’t know what they have endured. He hasn’t been around Shouto much, but from what he has seen, he thinks Shouto admires Endeavor the hero the same way Hawks does. It’s not an incorrect statement, because Shouto does recognize that Endeavor the hero is great, but it’s not a correct statement either. Shouto has the ability to separate Endeavor from Enji. Shouto wants to see what Enji the father has the potential to become now that Enji wants to atone, and even that seems to be for his sister’s sake, for her dream of having a family. Even Endeavor thought the same thing until Shouto makes it clear he’s not forgiven.

But Hawks doesn’t know this. Hawks probably assumes that because Shouto accepted interning with Endeavor and looked at Endeavor in awe that Shouto’s relationship with Endeavor must be on the mend. That maybe the abuse is behind them and the family is healthier. Hawks himself would never reach out to his own father or be near him, so why would Shouto? The only logical explanation and evidence Hawks has is that maybe Endeavor was forgiven and completely different now. Hawks, like Dabi, has no way to know that Shouto is holding his father accountable for abusing Rei and used to burn with self-destructive hatred inside. Hawks has no way of knowing Natsuo’s turmoil or that Fuyumi shares the same feelings as Natsuo, that Endeavor has a long way to go earn a place in his children’s lives - if they even let him.

Hawks is clinging onto his faith in heroes because he still believes in himself, in Endeavor, and in heroes. He’s like Shouto and believes in heroes and Endeavor despite Endeavor’s actions as a father. Shouto knows Endeavor is a skilled hero, but also accepts that people have different roles and may be shitty at one and great at another. Shouto knows Endeavor’s ambition and dedication to a title for his work drove him to hurt his family. Shouto knows Endeavor did this because Endeavor’s entire identity is his hero work - it’s almost expected that he put his ambitions before his family. Endeavor is just now, after 20 years, realizing he has another identity and role he failed to accept: Enji the father and husband. Now that he’s reached his career goals and realized the view at the top wasn’t as great or fulfilling as he imagined, he’s trying to figure out what Enji the father can do for his family.

Just like Endeavor, Hawks’ whole identity is his hero persona, and if that hero doesn’t exist anymore, then Hawks would be lost. He’d have nothing. His whole life’s meaning - saving people - would be gone, and he has no connections to any roles (son, friend, citizen) because he’s severed ties with his parents and isn’t close to anyone. He can’t go back to being Keigo because it was too painful and hopeless being Keigo. Even if the commission is turning his back on him, he’ll still be the hero Hawks, this time on his own terms. Now that he’s free of their control, he wants to help the Endeavor he always looked up to as a sign of loyalty to him and possibly a vague way of returning the favor for indirectly rescuing Keigo all those years ago.

Rei and Tomie

Both mothers reacted similarly to their domestic abuse. Both mothers learned to associate their children with their abuser based on physical inherited traits. The Todoroki siblings each have a trait of their father’s (Touya has his eye color, Fuyumi has her red in her hair, Natsuo has his thick and tall stature, Shouto’s entire left side) and Hawks inherited feathers from his father. This fear serves as a small scaled representation of the societal stigma faced by those who possess lesser favorable quirks. These mothers learned their partner’s quirks were only used to hurt them or cause damage, and society has learned that certain quirks like Toga’s blood-sucking are inherently bad and are an indicator of morality.

Like IRL domestic abuse victims, both mothers felt hopeless and powerless in their situation. Tomie asked her partner to fix the television without investigating what was wrong with it herself first. Tomie couldn’t care for herself or her son after Takami had been arrested - she’d been told what to do for so long and relied on Takami to provide (probably because he was paranoid and possibly wouldn’t let her interact with others out of fear she’d report him to the police) that she had trouble adjusting to any other kind of lifestyle. Making decisions was a skill she hadn’t used in years. Tomie, now homeless, compared Hawks to their abuser and expected him to provide by committing crimes too, which visibly hurt her son’s feelings. Some people who experience abuse subconsciously rely on their children to step up into a sort of caretaker/parent role. This is called parentification, and it just...sort of happens. This is why it makes sense Hawks’ identity revolves around being useful and wanting to help others. He had learned from a young age that if he wasn’t helping people, he had no value.

This isn’t to cast blame or judge Tomie, but to bring awareness to a boundary issue and inadvertent role reversal some victims and their families deal with as a result of abusive households. To parallel Tomie wanting Hawks to provide for the family, Endeavor also passively let Fuyumi to step up and fill the role of her missing parents. She carried a lot of the family emotional burdens after Rei was hospitalized, takes care of the family home, visits and cares for her mother at the hospital, and looks out for her younger brothers wellbeing in every sense of the word. Fuyumi is the unifying, optimistic link between Endeavor and his family. Even Endeavor recognizes Fuyumi’s parentification, though he doesn’t call it by its name.

Rei expressed her hopelessness when she spoke with her mother on the phone about not being able to raise her children anymore, but couldn’t come up with a solution. She couldn’t raise her children anymore - and that was it. She didn’t ask her mother for help or come up with any ideas because she felt powerless. And again, this isn’t to demonize or blame Rei, but to point out that her reaction is reflective of the challenges some abuse victims face. Some people don’t know how to get out of an abusive relationship for various complicated, valid, and life-threatening reasons, no matter what logic outsiders apply to the situation. Some mothers feel trapped, like Rei and Tomie.

Both Rei and Tomie hurt their children, either emotionally or physically. In the light novels, Natsuo reveals that Rei was emotionally distant after Shouto was born, probably out of concern for Endeavor’s likely unhealthy enthusiasm to train Shouto. She was probably protective of Shouto, and inadvertently made Natsuo feel abandoned by focusing on her youngest. Like Keigo, Natsuo felt alone despite his mother being nearby physically. And also like Keigo, Natsuo eventually realized that the situation was complicated and his parents made mistakes and had issues that didn’t reflect their feelings toward him. Natsuo realizes his mother loved him still. He realizes Shouto didn’t have it better than he did because he had his mother’s attention, and Keigo realizes that even with his father gone, his mother isn’t “fixed.” Keigo recognizes that his parents had deep flaws and the Todoroki siblings recognize their parents’ too. Rei didn’t mean to hurt Shouto maliciously; Endeavor is to blame for their mother’s mental state.

It’s implied that Tomie has an alcohol problem from the bottles laying around the unkempt Takami home. She uses alcohol to remove herself from reality, to put distance between herself, those she perceives are hurting her, and to hide. Running away doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t care about her son - emotions and people are complex and not always black and white - but that she doesn’t have the mental and emotional capacity to nurture him. She’s distancing herself from her feelings (probably fear, hopelessness, dread) and with that she’s also distancing from her son. This might have been going on for a while because Keigo doesn’t even consider going to his mother for comfort. He goes to his inanimate Endeavor plushie instead.

It’s also important to note that Keigo realizes that his parents’ relationship is devoid of love, and he probably thinks this is the reaso why he doesn’t receive any love from them. He wasn’t born from a loving relationship. The chapter implies he just...happened because Takami was hiding out with Tomie. Now Tomie doesn’t have an identity or will outside of hiding Takami and helping him, and Takami resents Keigo for tethering him to a person he thinks is useless and is holding him back.

In their own way, both mothers tried to console their child and ease the pain caused by their fathers. Rei did this by listening to Shouto, showing him that good heroes do exist, and reassuring him that he’s not his father. She was a loving mother, as noted by young Natsuo’s jealousy toward Shouto for “taking up” his mother’s attention. Her children are eager and willing to have a relationship with her. Tomie showed love for her son by buying that discounted Endeavor plushie in an effort to make up for the fact that Takami wouldn’t let him play outside. It’s important to note that while their family’s life was seemingly sustained by the fruit of Takami’s crimes, Tomie used what limited money the family had to pay for the toy, meaning that she wanted to ease some of her son’s pain and give him a source of strength. This was all she could manage considering the state of mind she was in. While it wasn’t big, she did the best she could, and apparently it left an impact because Hawks remembers the moment clearly.

The difference between these women and their families, which also mirrors real life, is that some work toward rebuilding their relationships and some don’t. The Todoroki’s support each other, and the Takamis are distant from each other. This isn’t to judge or blame or say one way is wrong and another is right, but to explore how this decision has and will influence Hawks and the Torodokis.

Rei has made progress in her recovery and will likely be discharged soon, if she hasn’t already been. The family continues to identify and work through issues both as a unit and individually. Shouto realizes that it’s okay to use his left side, Natsuo is holding space for his unresolved grief and calling out Endeavor, and Fuyumi is hoping to finally have a family. Together, they’ve found healing from the trauma they suffererd together. Touya being alive only adds to this family’s ability to finally be happy and whole, though the journey may be difficult and painful.

Meanwhile, the Takami’s didn’t unite to heal together. Hawks’ father went to jail, Tomie and Keigo never saw him again and don’t want to, and Tomie accepted the commission’s offer to take care of her financially if she gave up Keigo. Keigo himself became Hawks, who suspected it was his mother who leaked his background to Dabi and wasn’t surprised to find out that he was right. He’s not visibly upset about his mother leaving either, which could either be him being emotionally numb or a sign his relationship with his mother never improved. It seems like he’s holding on to the scrap of love she did give him, as seen by his flashback to her holding his hand and remembering her words to “be strong like this guy.” But now she’s gone, and like he said, his shackles are gone.

So, what does this mean? Is Hawks wrong to still believe in Endeavor? Was Tomie wrong for revealing Hawks to Dabi and then leaving without notifying Hawks first? Given these character’s complex traumas, it’s hard to say without blaming someone for how they react to their trauma. It’s hard to apply logic to thinking and feelings that have been shaped by trauma. It’s uncomfortable to sit and see people make decisions that hurt others. Sometimes there is no right and wrong, sometimes there is wrong right and right wrong, and we have to sit and watch things play out, watch people react to the world through a trauma lens.

Sometimes there’s no answer at all. I think that’s what adds a tragic touch to Hawks, to the Todorokis, to the League - they’re all reacting to their trauma in different ways, some in socially acceptable ways (Natsuo, Shouto) and some not (Dabi), and there’s no clear cut answer without passing judgment or telling someone how to react to their trauma. How does someone rewire their brain’s neuropathways from the ones formed by trauma to healthier ones, especially without professional help or even self-awareness.

It’s hard to watch all these characters suffer, especially when it hits so close to home for some of us. Let’s see what the next chapters bring! We’re not seeing the big picture just yet, and there is always time for epiphanies, breakthroughs, and change of hearts and minds.

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softomi · 3 years

Text

happier

lyric prompt: then only for a minute, I want to change my mind, cause this just don’t feel right to me.

song: Happier (Stripped) by Marshmello and Bastille

pairings: oikawa x reader, osamu x reader

general taglist: @graykageyama

special mentions: @peachysatoru

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“Unfortunately, the procedure requires both parties to consent and participate, the new law states it is considered illegal to synaptically prune another person from your memory without the other party’s consent.”

“Is there a way I can notify the person without personally contacting them?”

“Of course, as long as you know their name, date of birth, and social, then we can reach out to the other party to inform them that you have started the forms for a synaptic pruning procedure and they will have 30 days from the day of their notification to begin their forms.”

“What happens if they reject?”

“If the other party rejects, then unfortunately we cannot move forward with the procedure.”

“Okay. I’d like to start a form and have them be notified.”

“Perfect, let me just quickly get the information of the other party. What is their relationship to you?”

“Ex-husband.”

“Name of the other party?”

“Oikawa Tooru.”

His luggage drags against the airport’s floor, the sunglasses on his face protects against the amount of camera flashes. Oikawa waves to the cameras, waving to fans, momentarily stopping to take in the bustling Japan airport. Home felt so distant for him.

“Is it true you’re here for a procedure?” A reporter is walking alongside him.

Oikawa merely smiles, “No. I’m just here on vacation, I missed Japan so much, the last time I was here I wasn’t able to do many of the things I wanted to. I’d appreciate it if I am treated as any other citizen.”

“There’s rumors that you’re in Japan to possibly be scouted for one of the Japanese teams, care to explain?”

Oikawa stops, staring directly at the camera, “Like I said, I’m here on vacation and on my own dime. I’m here to attend a wedding of a very close friend and have no plans on looking into other teams, but I can assure you, I plan on playing for the Argentinian team for as long as I can.”

“Do you think your previous injury will affect your current position on the Argentinian national team?”

Another reporter manages to squeeze in, “It’s been almost a year since your injury, are you considering retiring your number if your injury doesn’t improve?”

Oikawa laughs. The television screen cuts off. He’s been in Japan for almost a week now, at least that’s all you know of since he had texted you once he had arrived. From what you can gather through social media, he wasn’t in town. He was frolicking through his childhood neighborhood, meeting friends and family who haven’t seen him since the Olympics.

It’s early morning in your home, the sheets hug you with warmth, you’ve been awake for some time and if you were honest, you didn’t think you slept at all. Ever since he’s stepped foot back into the country, you haven’t been able to sleep properly.

The head on your chest stirs and the male’s breathing falls steady back into slumber. His body is entangled with yours, body weight practically all on top of you, and his breathing brings a sense of dread in you for a moment. It feels similar to him.

You lift your arms, holding out your hands in front of you to gaze at the small diamond. It’s tucked between your pinkie and middle finger, it’s bright and beautiful just like he was promising your future with him would be.

He, your current lover; the man you absolutely loved and adored. The man who spent the last five years keeping you sane.

“Osamu.” Your fingers tugged his hair lightly, “It’s time to wake up.”

“Five more minutes.” He tightens his grip around your waist, “I just want five more minutes with you.”

Your finger drags along his spine, “You say that every morning.” You slap your palm on his back and he groans, “You have to open the restaurant soon.”

He hums, eyes blinking, trying to adjust to the darkness. It’s too early in the morning, “You’re going in for a check up today?”

Your fingers that play with his hair stops, “Yes.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

It was your decision, something Osamu had reminded you a hundred times. The decision to try and erase someone from your memory; he always found it to be a hard pill to swallow. But it was something you thought about a million times, it kept you awake at night, and even when you called a few weeks ago to start the process, it felt surreal.

Osamu lifts himself, leaning on his forearm to peer down at you, his beautiful bride to be, “I can still close the shop and come with you.”

He was an absolute sweetheart, “I told you I’ll be fine. And you can’t close the restaurant every time I go to the hospital?”

He brings his lips to meet yours, “Is that a challenge?”

You laugh against his kiss, “Go get ready or else.”

“Or else what?” He straddles your legs, pressing kisses on your neck to your chest. His fingers ride up his shirt you’ve declared yours, pressing his lips along your abdomen, “Good morning.”

“Call me if anything happens.” Osamu presses a chaste kiss to your lips at the doorway, “I like you.”

Your lips are in a grin, “and I like you too.”

The door shuts behind him and you’re left alone with your thoughts. If you were correct, you’d be seeing him again. Oikawa should be meeting you at the hospital. You’ve texted him a reminder. It’s marked as read; he doesn’t bother to respond.

The sound of a buzzer makes you jump, it draws you to the look at the video cam that views the front gates. You’re grinning thinking Osamu has forgotten something, but the smile gets wiped off when it’s him. Oikawa Tooru is standing at the gates of your home.

“What are you doing here?” You speak into the microphone.

Oikawa seems to have discovered the camera, “Can’t visit anymore? I thought we could catch up.”

What reason would there be to catch up? If everything goes smoothly, you’ll be without a thought of him in the next few days. You’re reluctant to let him in, you want to tell him to go away, but you’d have to meet him later any way. The gates buzz open and Oikawa enters the front yard of the home.

It’s exactly the same to him, after all, this was his and your home first. The Oikawa residence. He bought the house without your knowledge, saved up as much of his paychecks could get him.

“May I come in?” Oikawa smiles upon seeing you.

You’re holding the front door, still small as ever, like you were guarding the home with your life, “Yes.” Your voice is tiny, giving him room to enter the house.

Oikawa takes in the smell of the place, still the same, still has your scent and he concludes you’re probably still lighting the same scented candles he liked. He wonders if he should be flattered by the information.

“Do you want something to drink?” You inquire, pulling out a mug to pour yourself water and another mug for whatever Oikawa wanted, “Peach tea?”

It was his favorite; you can remember it as clear as day. He’d drink it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He said it paired nicely with the milk bread and he called it sweet; just like you. You shake the memory as you pour the hot water.

There was nothing but awkwardness between the both of you. You’ve distracted yourself with your morning routine and Oikawa silently sits. If he’s going to fantasize for a second, he’s pretending you’re still his wife. Shamelessly daydreaming like you were his.

“We have to be at the hospital by noon.” You say without looking at him, your head dipping back as you slip the pills into your mouth.

“Sounds good to me.” Oikawa taps his fingers against the dining table.

It brings back memories of dinner with you, on days when he would be able to find a week off practice to see you. You’d eat with him until two in the morning, trying to squeeze in as much time with him as possible before he hopped on a plane back to Argentina, and he would pretend as if he didn’t hear you crying while washing the dishes.

“So how have you been?” Oikawa asks innocently.

You drink the rest of your water, a simple nod of your head, “Fine.” Your gaze falls briefly on his knee, “And you?”

Oikawa instinctively puts a hand over his knee as if that could hide the ache, “Fine too.”

Yet Oikawa and you know, everything was far from fine. It was the same way towards the end of the marriage, communication was blurred, there was too many missed connections, and the only news you’d get of Oikawa was from the sports channels.

“Do you still work at the public library?”

You tilt your head at him, “You mean the university library? When I was doing work study?”

“Oh.” Oikawa rubs the back of his neck, “Guess you’re not”. He’s trying to think why it feels so hard to talk to you again, “How are your parents?”

You freeze and he realizes his mistake. He remembers the arguments, the sadness of the conversations, the way your parents loathed him for proposing so early. Oikawa married you fresh out of high school, he promised you happiness and yet towards the end of the marriage, he shattered your heart.

“They’re great!” You smile, “They really love my fiancé.”

You were purposely trying to hurt him.

“What’s he like?” Oikawa was curious or was he jealous?

“What do you want Tooru?” Your voice is sharp as you set down your mug, “Why are you here?” You know him too well, he doesn’t do things just because; he always has a motive, “Are you here to try and stop me? I want to move on.”

“Then why can’t you do it yourself? Why do you feel like you need to erase me?” Oikawa, he was sad. He had never felt more crushed than when he had received the phone call; you were requesting to remove him from your mind and he’d only accepted to see you again. He wanted you to look him in the face, feel the hurt that he had, “Did you not think of my feelings?”

“No, you didn’t think of mine when you naturalized as an Argentinian citizen.”

It was always the same argument, Oikawa stares at you, it wasn’t that different from years ago. When he blinks, he’s transported to seven years ago. Your eyes red as you looked at him, the fighting was reaching two hours and the bags in Oikawa’s hands signals he’d be leaving for another few month. But this day was different, the fight was wearing you down, especially when you read news of Oikawa becoming a naturalized citizen. Oikawa blinks and he’s back to the sun lit room.

“This isn’t how you move on from a relationship?” Oikawa says, “It takes time.” Time was seven years, since the divorce seven years of broken hearts have passed. Oikawa knows deep down that you still loved him and he knows in his heart that he wants to ask you to run away with him, “You know that this is wrong.”

“But it’s my choice.”

Oikawa’s eyes begin to water, “And you’re making me choose too?” Tears fall from his cheek, “It’s your choice but you’re forcing me to choose also.” His chest becomes heavy, “Please don’t do this.” He openly sobbing in front of you, “I don’t want to stop.” His wail makes your heart clench, “I don’t want to forget what it was like to love you.”

“Tooru.”

“I don’t care.” Oikawa blubbers, “I’m not going to do it.” A pit grows in your stomach, “All I ever did was love you.”

Your eyes glossy, it was like you were going back to the worst nights of your life, “You stopped caring about me.”

“No, I didn’t!” Oikawa stands, “I never stopped. I was doing everything for you!” He was a tearful mess in front of you, “You left me! You abandoned me!”

“You can’t say that when you were halfway across the world!”

“For you!” Oikawa screams, “If you had waited one more year, I could have brought you over.”

You wipe the tears from your face, a sigh on your lips, “Why didn’t you just ask me to go with you in the first place?”

It was always the question that nipped at you. When he was confronted with the opportunity of staying in Japan or joining an Argentinian team, he never hesitated and you waited for him to ask you to go with him; but he left you behind with the house, sending money every two weeks like you were an afterthought.

“It was complicated.” Oikawa’s eyes soften, “I just, I didn’t want you to leave behind your life here. Your friends, your family. You would have had to quit school to come with me, to a place where you didn’t know the language or the place, and with me practicing, you would have no one.”

You shake your head, “No. You were worried about yourself. You made the decision to leave me behind without a second thought because you wanted to focus on volleyball and where has that gotten you; injured.”

Maybe that was why you wanted so badly to erase him from your memories, you still clung to the thoughts of him. Still stayed updated on his life, still worried about his health, still wondering on the what ifs with him. What if you had just left with him? What if you hadn’t gotten married to him? What if you weren’t so hopelessly still in love with him?

“Just let me be happy.” You whisper, “Just let me forget I was ever in love with you.”

The ride to the hospital ached. The cab silent and melancholy. It was only a consultation and yet it already felt like the end of everything. The waiting area didn’t make it any better, the air was thick with tension from other couples. Oikawa’s status had the two of you placed priority and it didn’t take long for a doctor to come into the room.

“I would like to inform you that we use the term ‘erasing memory’ loosely. Our procedure merely detaches you from the other party. You’ll still have the memories, but you won’t feel anything, and you won’t remember them as much as you might today.” The doctor hands you and Oikawa separate forms, “If you both sign the consent forms, we can schedule the procedure as soon as possible.”

The pen in Oikawa’s hands hover over the signature line, he can hear you scribbling against the paper and his heart is shattering. Sloppily, he signs his name on the line.

“Sorry, I forgot to ask.” You look at the doctor, “Is the procedure safe for pregnant women?”

Oikawa’s world crumbles.

“The procedure is set for tomorrow morning.” The receptionist is talking.

You smile, “Perfect, thank you.”

She prints out two different instructions for you and Oikawa to prepare for the procedure. You overlook the instructions, no longer sparing a glance to Oikawa as you walk away.

“Hey.” The voice makes your head snap up. Your fiancé walking towards you.

Instinctively, your arms wrap around his neck, “What are you doing here?”

Osamu presses a kiss to your temple, “I came to pick you up.” He looks over your shoulder, spotting the man he knows too well from various photos, “Hi.” He reaches out to Oikawa, “I’m Miya Osamu.”

Oikawa grips Osamu’s hand, “ Oikawa Tooru. It’s nice to meet you.” Oikawa says bitterly.

Osamu’s hand rests on your hip, in a matter of seconds, he’s leading you away and Oikawa is left to stand all alone.

The night is restless. It’s instructed that you and Oikawa get a good night’s rest, but who can rest soundly the night before a procedure. You sitt on the edge of your bed, your fiancé sleeping soundly, and you stare at the moon. You play with the ring on your finger and a tear lands on the back of your hand. You suck in a heavy breath, trying to quell the sound of sobs.

Oikawa sits knees to his chest on the couch of Iwaizumi’s who was gracious enough to let him stay at his place. The moon is bright, and it shines a spotlight on Oikawa. His eyes are tired, but he stares at the screen of his cell phone, finger swiping continuously through the photo album. Your smiles reflect in his eyes and even when Iwaizumi snags the cell phone from him; Oikawa looks up at him bawling.

Six in the morning, you’re sitting on a hospital bed, Oikawa laid next to you. The silence is deafening.

“I hope you know.” Oikawa whispers, “I’m very happy for you.”

You look at him, taking in what might be the last time you feel love for him, “I love you.”

Oikawa smiles, “No you don’t,” He’s tricking himself, believing that you loathed him, that this was the better option for you, “but I love you too.”

They say, the longer the relationship, the longer the procedure takes. Similarly, the more you loved, the harder it was to subdue the memories. It required patients to stay awake, to go through every little detail, to talk about everything from the beginning to the end.

Your fingers were initially interlocked with his, something to help the anxiousness, or was it to cling to him for a moment.

“I met you when you came to cheer on the volleyball team in high school.” Oikawa stares at the white ceiling, he hears the machinery, the typing of a computer, “You looked so pretty.” The memory becomes hazy.

“He kissed me on the school’s rooftop.” Your lips curved in a smile, “He kept asking me if it was alright.” Your smile slowly falls to a thin line, “I suddenly can’t remember what I said back.”

“It took me a week to find the perfect ring.”

You laugh, “You got impatient, proposed with a paper ring on the school’s rooftop after we snuck into the school after dark.”

It feels empty, your heart feels a weight lifted. Your fingers slowly let go of Oikawa’s. He begins to weep.

“Why are you crying?” You ask.

He sniffles, “Was that the last time you felt happy with me?”

“No.” Your voice soft, “I was always happy when you came home.” There’s another weight off your heart, “You always came in running, always excited to see me. Sometimes, when the front door opens, I think it’s going to be you.” You’re hit with relief.

Four weeks pass in a blur. You honestly don’t remember much of the week after the procedure, but you stare at your loving fiancé. A hearty giggle on your lips as you move to straddle him on the bed. Your palms are squishing his cheeks and Osamu is chuckling. His hand resting on your small baby bump.

“We’re getting married!” You’re kissing him, excitedly jumping on him as though you weren’t knocking the wind out of him.

“Alright.” Osamu sits up, lips stealing your breath away, “by the end of the day, you’ll be Mrs. Miya.”

You laugh into the kiss, “I can’t wait.”

The wedding venue is bustling, everyone is itching to take a picture with the bride and groom. You’re grinning widely at the way Osamu bickers with his brother, the photographer taking photos despite the twins poking at each other.

“May we take a picture with the bride?”

Your smile grows; four men dressed in their best suits approach, “Is this a high school reunion?”

One man lingers briefly behind, your husband presses a hand to the small of your back before leaving. Oikawa takes over the place of your spouse.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Oikawa tilts his head with a beam.

You roll your eyes, “At my own wedding.”

His voice falls to a whisper, “Are you happy?”

Your eyes stare in the direction of your husband and you nod, “Yes.” When you look at Oikawa, there’s a small tug in your heart, it’s tiny enough that it disappears within moments, “Thank you.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #oikawa #oikawa scenarios #oikawa tooru #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu angst #hq #hq scenarios #hq oikawa

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oprerroma · 4 years

Text

from @terms_of_engagement on Instagram

Transcribed Image Descriptions below the cut

[Image ID: The first panel shows a round icon of the Romani flag which has a red wagon type wheel in the centre, blue in the top half to represent sky and green on the bottom for the land. This icon is on a black banner with the words 'terms of engagement' in white and three little dots beside it for the menu button. 'Terms of engagement' is written as terms (underscore) of (underscore) engagement. The main panel is a cream background with dark blue writing. The title is in a circle and this is surrounded by sketches of sunflowers as well as various wildflowers, some in bloom and some in bud. The name of the blog 'Terms of Engagement' is repeated again as regular text. The title of the panel reads 'Correlations between Witchcraft and Romani Traditions', then in smaller text 'How the spiritual practices of Romani peoples are intertwined with shamanism, stereotypes, mysticism and magic.' End ID]

[Image ID: The second panel is more so in colour. It has a dark blue background and is square. The part with wrting on is styled to look like square graph paper with lots of tiny boxes in blue and made to look as though it were torn out of a notebook with a piece of tape attaching it to the blue backing. Underneath, so to speak, the tape, is a cutting of a wildflower with a green stem and buds and lilac petals. The text, again in dark blue black, reads 'Disclaimer (this is in capitals to emphasis it is a title and important). The following is a brief overview of what is a very long history of not only shamanism and witchcraft but also of the influences it has had on Romani peoples and vice versa. We would like to emphasize that witchcraft and the beliefs of the Romani peoples are not mutually exclusive. Romani communities are diverse in their spiritual beliefs and traditional practices. Historically and today, organized religion exists alongside and in cooperation with the shamanistic spiritual and healing practices of Romani communities. This is neither a commentary on any religion or spirituality, nor is it an expose on what have been and should remain closed practices within the Romani community. This is intended to breakdown the misconceptions that have led to the persecution of Romani peoples for their spiritual beliefs and to encourage those non-Romani who are interested in learning more, how to proceed with caution and respect. The information from this piece has been compiled from both non-Romani and Romani resources, with the emphasis on the insights of practitioners in the Romani community. End ID]

[Image ID: All the following panels are cream with blue black writing and illustration. The third panel is titled 'Historical foundations of witchcraft in Europe'. The illustration is an image of the High Priestess card from the Rider Waite tarot deck. The text reads 'Folk magic has been practiced around the world by many different groups for the majority of human history. From continent to continent, ancient civilizations have employed herbal remedies, divination, cartomancy, astrology and other spiritualistic services as paths to healing. The conquering and expansion of territories and trade routes, triggered a migration of healing peoples from Asia into Europe. Among them were the Romani drabarni/chov'hani. Healers were revered within communities as those who practiced "the people's religion ", providing townsfolk with crucial services to meet their physical, mental and spiritual needs. It wasn't until the 15th Century when the concept of "witchcraft" emerged and transformed the very fabric of society. During this period, there was a socio-political shift from the Christian state viewing folk magic as mere superstition to redefining it as witchcraft. At this time, witchcraft was seen as a "mode" of religion rather than a worldview, placing it in direct opposition to the Christian Reformation and Counter-Reformation. The movement sought to suppress spiritualities and folk magic which threatened power of the state who sought to weaponize spirituality as a means to control, exploit and supervise citizens. The state indoctrinated manifestos like the Malleus Maleficarum, which specifically identified women as "witches" and practitioners of devil worshipping, causing the inquisitions to commence. Efforts to suppress folk magic grew violently quick and quickly violent.' End ID]

[Image ID: The fourth panel shows an image of a Romani woman with dark hair. She is cradling a crystal ball, has bangles on each wrist and is wearing hoop earrings and a headscarf tied in the stereotyped way of a fortune teller, but from its pattern it appears to be a traditional Romani headscarf. Her eyes are closed and she shows an expression of calm focus. Her nails are long and well manicured and her fingers appear to be adorned with many rings. The title reads 'Modern implications of myths and stereotypes'. The text reads, 'The history, practices and influence of Romani healers on European society have long been neglected within the historiography of witchcraft. This has allowed mysticism to guide the public's harmful perception of Romani peoples and their beliefs, placing them in the same category of mythical creatures as fairies, unicorns and mermaids. Those accounts that do exist have been made by outsiders like Charles Godfrey Leland who, like many others in the 19th Century, created a disparaging depiction of the once celebrated Romani healer as synonymous with the archetypal g slur witch. As was done in the past, Romani women were specifically targeted by these efforts, cast as either the poor, haggard and disgruntled witch who curses innocent bystanders or the mysteriously exotic and promiscuous fortune-teller who swindles innocent patrons. Each of these depictions of Romani witches draw on centuries-old stereotypes of criminality, dishonesty, hyper-sexuality and mysticism. In truth, many Romani either assimilated to or adopted the beliefs and practices of dominant religions to avoid persecution. Today, the physical and cultural violation of Romani peoples continues by both the state and its citizens as a result of the perceived and real practices of Romani peoples. Many healers and their communities remain ostracized, struggling to teach the next generation a millenia's worth of traditional practices that are quickly being forgotten to an unwritten history.' End ID]

[Image ID: The fifth panel shows an illustration of flowers on the left hand side, seemingly poppies. The title reads 'Traditional beliefs in the Romani community.' The main text reads 'While biological and linguistic evidence places the Romani people in India near the 11th Century, traditional Romani beliefs mirror ancient Hindu and Buddhist shamanism. At the center of these beliefs is dualism, two opposite and complementary forces that-through ceremony, offerings, practice and prayer, must be maintained. This is reflected in Romani values of purity and impurity (marime), the presence of good and evil spirits, as well as the separation of the inner and outer worlds. Romani traditions emphasize keeping a close connection with creation and paying tribute to the Earth and all its creatures. Other traditions which mirror shamanistic practices in India include the belief in reincarnation and most importantly, the worshipping of a female deity, Sara-la-Kali. In opposition to hierarchy, misogyny, environmental derogation and the centralization of power, Romani beliefs were viewed as an obstruction to the Western colonial project. As there was no one book, place, ceremony, prayer or ritual that is commonly used by Romani peoples to article these traditional beliefs, it was easier for the Christian state to systemically fracture and then violate Romani traditions by correlating it to witchcraft.' End ID]

[Image ID: The sixth panel shows an illustration of a cup and saucer of seemingly porcelain, containing tea or coffee steaming genty. Beside it is a bottle with a vintage illustration of a beehive with the label 'honey'. The title reads 'Modern practices in the Romani community'. The main text reads 'For centuries, Romani matriarchs had passed down traditional practices such as tasseograpy (reading tea leaves), cartomancy (tarot), and chiromancy (palm reading) whose origins are in Asian shamanist traditions. With their migration to Europe in the 14th Century, these practices followed and were shared with royalty and townsfolk alike. Romani peoples began employing these practices as their occupations. Travelling from one countryside to the next, Romani healers not only financially prospered but also were able to build trust and influence local views. Not only did this threaten the Christian state's attempts to financially exploit and impose on community politics but it also allocated too much power to women who were viewed as intellectually and spiritually inferior.To regain power, the state targetted female practitioners, discrediting them by claiming that their witchcraft conjured evil spirits to make townsfolk depedent on hiring them. Since, the practices of Romani peoples have been steeped in wide-spread suspicion, invalidating its practitioners, and undermining women's rights to practice and be paid for their traditional occupations. To this day, tarot, palm reading and other forms of divination are used to both inform personal and community decision-making as well as a form of employment. The state continues to highly regulate witchcraft and the practicing of Romani traditions by forcing healers to register with the government as a business, which many Romani are unable to do and by heavily taxing them on their income.' End ID]

[Image ID: The seventh panel shows illustrations of bunches of herbs in the top section of the frame, tied with string as though hanging from a wooden roof beam to dry. The main title reads 'Healing in the past and present'. The main text reads 'Practitioners used their natural and learned talents for healing to cure sicknesses, assist in births, and promote wellness. Using locally grown plants and animal by-products, healers were able to help prolong the lives of primarily poor townsfolk and other travellers who otherwise did not have the time or resources to see a medical practitioner. The onset of the Great Plague or Black Death was used as an opportunity for the Christian state to further justify the persecution of Romani healers. Having been accused of using spirits to both cure and cause illness, they were gradually ostracized from the communities they once lived and held influence in. What were once considered spells, incantations and elixirs used by Romani healers are now regarded as ointments, herbal teas and medicinal recipes, grounded in a basic understanding of herbology. Through close observation of and respect for the human body, plants and animals, the Romani healers were able to create powerful medicines that are still used to this day, curing everything from a sore throat, to energy imbalances, menstrual cramps and the presence of evil spirits.' End ID]

[Image ID: The eighth panel shows a bunch of thin stemmed wild flowers on the right hand side. The main title reads 'Spiritual appropriation outside of the Romani community'. The main text reads 'Though various shamanistic practices have been intertwined for centuries, there has been an ever increasing rise in the adoption of neo-shamanistic beliefs and practices. While practicing a spirituality that resonates with you is not in itself oppressive, the ways in which they are adopted can be. As seen within other communities that have been exotified for their spiritual beliefs, the Romani peoples have also experienced the harmful appropriation of their tradtional practices. As previously mentioned, Tasseography (reading tea leaves), cartomancy (tarot), and chiromancy (palm reading) are intrinsically linked to the Romani culture and yet, they have been haphazardly adopted without recognition of their importance to the community. Most often, those who have appropriated the practice employ the same deprecating imagery and derogatory narratives that were used and continue to be used to persecute Romani peoples. Perpetuating these false perceptions of what it means to be a practitioner delegitimizes those within the community who have deep spiritual connections and divine gifts. What is most harmful however, is the commodification of these practices. The commodification of these practices by those outside the community not only draws economic opportunity away from a community which disproportionately experiences intergenerational poverty, but it also leads to the exploitation of resources and the unethical acquisition of traditional tools used by Romani communities to practice.' End ID]

[Image ID: The ninth panel shows an illustrated palmistry hand with all the lines and divisions marked. There are also astrological symbols and writing appears to be in Latin, while the wrist of the hand bears a frilly cuff. The main title reads 'Things to consider when practicing'. The main text reads 'Questions to self reflect on: How has your faith contributed to the persecution of Romani peoples? How are you perpetuating stereotypes of Romani peoples through your practice? How do your spiritual practices promote the liberation of Romani peoples? Ethical practice includes: 1. Learn more about Romani history, culture and tradtions. 2. Not seeking out practitioners to educate you on closed practices. 3. Not entering into Romani communities with the intention of learning without their permission. 4. Asking when and where it is appropriate to practice these traditions with Romani people. 5. Not commodifying these practices for your own financial gain. 6. Redistributing the wealth if you have profited off these practices. 7. Standing in solidarity with Romani women who are fighting to practice their traditional occupations. 8. Paying for their labour if you request the services of Romani healers. 9. Using ethically sourced materials from Romani owned businesses. 10. Not exacerbating or endangering natural resources for your personal or commercial practice. 11. Taking caution when using traditional medicines and seeking medical attention when necessary. End ID]

[Image ID: The tenth and final panel shows a sketchy illustration of a table. On it is an open book with its pages fanned out in a semicircle. Beside that is a candle, in an old fashioned holder, dripping wax from the top and casting a circle of light onto the wall. Behind that is a stack of closed books. The main title reads 'Further exploration'. The main text reads 'Romani Practitioners Offering Services and Goods.' This is followed by a number of handles for Instagram. These are as follows: @mihaelamincaoffical @jezmina.vonthiele @schooloftraditionalmagic @thelivingaltar @opulentwitch @shuvanicandleco @snakeandwildroots @primordialsoups (underscore) @baby (underscore) reckless @katelanfoisy @fairybogma @spell aroma. The next piece of text reads 'Media resources' Followed by a list of books, as follows: A Practical Guide for Witches by Ylua Mara Radziszewski, Sara Kali: The Dark Madonna by Mihaela Dragan and Mihai Lukacs, The Appartition of Choxani by Luminita Mihai Cioaba's (this surname uses punctuation to express sounds not found in English I believe. The word with an x is pronounced 'Cho ha nee'). The Romani Goddess Sara Kali by Ronald Lee, Infoxicated Corner: Essay on Romani Poetics, History and Culture by Jessica Suzanne Reidy, We Borrow The Earth by Patrick Jasper Lee, Romani Remedies and Recipes by Gypsy Petulengro, Gypsy Folk Medicine by Wanja von Hausen. The final text reads 'If you are or know of other Romani practitioners or resources that can assist others in learning, please link them in the comment section below.' End ID]

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jckelly · 3 years

Text

updated intro / jack 101

Is that JACK KELLY? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 21, GMT, SHE/HER]

the other two got updated intros n rat man felt left out

basics

full name: jackson noel kelly

nicknames: jack (does not answer to jackson)

date of birth: december 25, 2001

zodiac: capricorn sun, leo ascendant, sagittarius moon

nationality: dual uk and us citizenship

sexual orientation: straight but will try anything once

course: aerospace engineering

appearance

faceclaim: van mccann

voiceclaim: van mccann

ethnicity: white (english, irish)

height: 5′8 / 173cm

weight: 58kg / 127lbs

eye colour: blue

hair colour: brown

distinctive features: freckles (many), left ear pierced, scars on his wrists usually covered by long sleeves, northern english accent

clothing preferences: jack prefers to only wear black, or at a push grey, although he’s slowly improving and will Occasionally mix it up with ... navy. his style is pretty basic, usually just a sweater, jeans, and beat up black converse or doc martens depending on how emo he’s feeling. the sheffield united hoodie makes an appearance every time someone forgets precisely which uk city jack is from.

personality

overview

positive traits: witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

negative traits: philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

mbti: entp

religious beliefs: atheist

description

the first side most people see of jack is the side he wants you to see. a total asshole. it’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. he’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. he’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. there is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

the second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart jack is a kid. he’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. and even if you do see it, it never lasts long. he keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

biography

jackson noel kelly was born in hell on ironically christmas day to his father satan......

jack and his older half brother finn were born in sheffield, united kingdom, to a single mother. a drug addict, she was notorious among social workers for neglecting her children and as a result jack shuffled between foster homes and his mother’s home during his first ten years of life, with finn, less than four years older than him, being his primary carer even when he was back with his birth family. this cycle finally ended when jack was ten and he was permanently removed from his mother’s care, and placed in the first of a series of foster homes which didn’t last particularly long.

the thing was, jack’s remarkably good at pushing people away when he wants to, and as he got older his talents only increased. running away, wreaking havoc, insulting anyone who tried to get close and anything else he could possibly think of meant that for three years he lasted no longer than eight months in any one place. in fact, he frequently took himself back to live with his birth family until social services came to drag him out again. this lifestyle continued until he was fostered by his now adopted parents, claire and george, at thirteen.

much to jack’s dismay, no matter of hell raising would push these newest set of parents away. in fact, they seemed absolutely set on raising him as Their Son, even as his attempts to get them off his back got more and more extravagant. they removed him from his previous school, transferred him to a fancy private school, put him in therapy and tried their best to help him get through all of the issues developed through his slightly fucked up childhood.

the thing was, jack loves his mother. he still refuses to see her as being in the wrong, no matter what people tell him or what he himself recalls, in his mind he has one mother and that’s his birth mother. so he did not take kindly to attempts by his foster parents to become his “new” family, because in jack’s mind? he already had a family. and even though they were actively encouraging him to continue contact with his brother, he couldn’t help but see them as trying to replace his birth family.

jack’s fifteenth year pretty much became the year when all of these issues finally came to a head. he was adopted legally by his foster parents, who had now been fostering him for two years - which should have been a happy occasion, but for jack represented the final loss, the final betrayal to his birth mother and brother. then shortly after his fifteenth birthday his brother went to prison at eighteen for grievous bodily harm, having glassed another boy after an argument.

of course, it would later be revealed that in actuality the assault had been committed by jack. and that finn was simply covering for him. (they looked alike enough that questions were not raised, it had happened so fast.) but in the eyes of jack’s adopted parents, finn was now a dangerous offender and jack had to be protected from him. so he was then isolated from his brother, his mother had relapsed and his continuous guilt over being adopted played on his mind, culminating in a suicide attempt in march 2017.

of course, he wasn’t successful, but this was the final straw in the minds of his adopted parents. they felt jack needed a fresh start, away from the people who had defined his life prior to that point. so by his sixteenth birthday, jack had been moved to the united states to be near the family of his adopted mother, and subsequently enrolled in luxor academy.

where he continued to be a menace :))

although it did appear, for some time, that jack was showing signs of improvement. sure, he was still wreaking havoc at luxor. but at home, he had calmed, even showing signs of affection to his adopted family. until his mother overdosed suddenly and died when jack was eighteen and things started to immediately go straight downhill again.

he can’t help but blame himself, for allowing himself to be moved. for the move being his fault, if he’s being honest. and if the honesty continues, jack’s got a whole lot of other stuff to blame on himself. (see: ruining his brother’s life.) so now he’s just taking shit out on everyone to try and make them a fraction as miserable as him.

npc connections

birth fam

finn kelly / fc: jake bugg / b. may 10 1998 / taurus sun, gemini ascendant, pisces moon

finley, who also refuses to use his full name, is jack’s older brother - same mother, different father. jack thinks he’s boring because he doesn’t raise hell with every opportunity. finn calls this “being a sane person.” went to prison for jack and regrets it. pastimes include crying over murakami books and trying to look shocked when jack tells him about the newest crisis he’s having.

lauren kelly / fc: elena tonra / b. february 20 1983 - d. april 1 2020 / pisces sun, aries ascendant, leo moon

jack’s birth mother, who was still a teenager when he and finn were born. she was an on again, off again drug addict and had jack removed from her care when he was ten due to continued neglect. instilled in him a love for oasis and a hefty number of mental health issues. looked pretty much exactly like jack.

jordan taylor / fc: alex turner / b. october 12 1984 / libra sun, leo ascendant, virgo moon

jack’s birth father, who he knows little about. not for lack of trying on his father’s part, who was prevented from seeing jack as a child by his birth mother and blocked from trying to make contact by jack’s refusal to interact. he keeps trying to message jack and jack is running out of daddy issues memes to respond with. finn thinks jack should give him a chance to redeem himself. jack thinks finn should fuck off.

adopted fam

claire fielding / fc: julia roberts / b. may 12 1964 / taurus sun, cancer ascendant, leo moon

jack’s adopted mother. loves him very much and is convinced he is a sweet boy who just needs love and help. has written a memoir about adopting jack. jack is mad at her constantly. when he is not mad at her, he is embarrassed by her existence. honestly deserves better.

george fielding / fc: timothy olyphant / b. november 6, 1963 / scorpio sun, capricorn ascendant, virgo moon

is proud of jack, but very deep down underneath a strong layer of calling jack out on his bullshit. has some loud ass shouting matches with jack. also really wishes jack would sort his hair out and maybe not look like a cheap liam gallagher. jack honestly just winds him up constantly and he knows jack is doing it but goddamnit it’s so hard to not be mad at the little rat.

other

maisie adeyemi / fc: yewande biala / b. january 6, 1997 / capricorn sun, sagittarius ascendant, aries moon

finn’s fiancee. her goal in life is to try to get jack to ruin finn’s life at least 70% less often. she has yet to achieve this goal. her love language is setting finn’s phone to silent when he goes to bed to stop jack from phoning in with some sort of random crisis at four in the morning because the little shit forgot timezones exist. finn will never find out. maisie is grateful that men have no brains.

#luxorintro #abuse tw #neglect tw #drugs tw #death tw #suicide tw #depression tw

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anakin-skybreaker · 3 years

Text

A Brief Analysis of Clone Wars Characters Via Knights Radiant Orders

Ahsoka Tano:

It’s been stated that the Edgedancers are the most religious of the Knights Radiant orders. Faith, I believe, is a cornerstone of Ahsoka’s character; faith in the Jedi Order, losing that faith and gaining it in herself, not to mention her faith in Anakin.

A good chunk of her character arc is centered around the common man, learning the plights of the disenfranchised and living up to what the majority of people believe Jedi to stand for without the restrictions of political alignments. Edgedancer ideals fit Ahsoka’s overall arc.

Second Ideal: “I will remember those who have been forgotten.”

Third Ideal: “I will listen to those who have been ignored.”

Edgedancers have the ability to ignore friction which I feel would be well-suited to Ahsoka’s fighting style.

“...they were elegant things of beauty. They could ride the thinnest rope at speed, dance across rooftops, move through a battlefield like a ribbon on the wind.” – Edgedancer, page 4.

“When Simol was informed of the arrival of the Edgedancers, a concealed consternation and terror, as is common in such cases, fell upon him; although they were not the most demanding of orders, their graceful, limber movements hid a deadliness that was, by this time, quite renowned…” – Words of Radiance, page 20.

Captain Rex:

This might be a controversial choice considering what we know of clones, but Rex is a bondsmith. Sure Honor is a whole, veritable, god on Roshar but Rex is a bondsmith and you can pry that from my cold dead hands.

What do I have for evidence of this? Why, the Second Ideal of course.

“I unite instead of divide. I will bring men together.”

Rex watching his brothers being forced to break their oaths of honor and kill their spren all for Palpatine’s agenda. That hits different, bro.

Honestly, I don’t think I need to go any further but for the sake of it I will.

Having a clone, who many consider to be less than, climb the ranks and become a must in terms on long term warfare just feels good. Long story short, Rex is irreplaceable and he deserves an order which maximizes how irreplaceable he truly is.

Commander Cody:

Here we have our first windrunner proper.

Cody is a good man, a loyal man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t suffer the same ideological differences and hypocrises that plague the Republic. The side he serves condemns slavery and yet he himself and his millions of brothers are a slaves. He is a tool for war yet trying to bring peace. He fights to end the war and yet the Republic refuses to open peace talks.

He’d be the closest to Kaladin, in terms of practically everything; Cody is a child of Honor.

Cody knows how the universe works so he settles on his own code of honor. He will protect those who cannot protect themselves, regardless of his personal feelings toward them. He knows he can’t save everyone, but what’s most important is that he try. Somebody needs to.

Padme Amidala:

Like Rex, Padme would be well-suited to the bondsmiths. She aims to unite instead of divide. But given her role in TCW, however, and her role as the one who steps up to call out people and be the one to spend her life trying to better society, Padme is an elsecaller.

She’s a diplomat at heart, individualistic and esoteric. Padme follows her own logic and goes out on the front line when she deems it necessary. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what Anakin or the Jedi or the Republic says, Padme abides by her own moral compass and what makes sense to her.

“...the Elsecallers were prodigiously benevolent, allowing others as auxiliary to their visits and interactions; though they never did relinquish their place as prime liaisons with the great ones of the spren…”

She is a senator who creates connections between peoples.

Queen Padme Amidala and Queen Jasnah Kholin, while having a lot of political differences and different approaches to warfare, would get along famously.

Padme contributes to the war effort by soulcasting food, medicine, and other necessary materials.

Anakin Skywalker:

Here’s where things get complicated.

If we’re going purely by plot, then Anakin is a skybreaker since that is one of the only orders that suit his personality which would still allow him to “fall to the dark side” while maintaining his oaths.

Also, I’m not going to slide past it. My URL is anakin-skybreaker for fuck’s sake. It would be a crime against nature for a man named Skywalker not to have gravitation manipulation like come on, he was born to fly.

It’s just too good, too fitting. I can also see Anakin saying some variant of Kaladin’s line in Words of Radiance, but during a version of the Rako Hardeen arc. “You sent him to the sky to die, assassin, but the sky and winds are mine. I claim them, as I now claim your life.” Though entirely separate, the two have roughly the same amount of melodramatic entrances.

On the other hand, if we’re going for what’s best for Anakin as a person then he’d be either a windrunner or a dustbringer (releaser). The Fourth windrunner ideal says more than I ever could. “I accept that there will be those I cannot save.” Anakin is fueled by ambition so there’s no way he wouldn’t make it to the fourth ideal and then be forced to come to terms with himself and his fears or risk stagnation (or worse breaking his oaths and killing his spren).

As a dustbringer, Anakin would be taught how to control and channel his destructive/violent impulses. Dustbringers get a bad reputation because of their capabilities for mass destruction and because of that shared prejudice, I feel that might help Anakin settle in even quicker than he would in the other orders. Like if he were a windrunner, Anakin would be forced to confront aspects of his personality and truly learn restrain and responsibility.

“Most Dustbringers were tinkers who liked to take things apart to see how they work.”

Dustbringer spren canonically love to break stuff. So, Anakin making friends with a spren that wants him to break stuff because it wants to know what’s inside? 10/10

Obi Wan Kenobi:

A lightweaver in personality and a windrunner in mentality.

It hardly needs saying that Obi Wan is an honorable man. It would come to the point where, even as a renowned lightweaver other people would make comments on it. How he’d be better suited to the windrunners, how “I could’ve sworn you bonded an honorspren” and stuff like that.

Lightweaver ideals are tailored towards the individual, but generally follow the pattern of admitting personal truths. Obi Wan has more than a few truths to admit to himself. He and Anakin would be having an argument, only for his liespren to chime in to call him out going, “mm, lies” and forcing the two to actually talk out their feelings.

He would be Grand Spymaster of the Republic. Obi Wan is already known as the Negotiator, so he’d arrive at the palace of a government he needs to win over for the Republic dressed to the nines, positively glowing, standing at imposing six foot five, where underneath the lightweaving he’s going on three hours of sleep, is wearing yesterday’s clothes, and hasn’t combed his hair in three days.

He’s a lightweaver, but for the life of me I cannot get the image of Windrunner Obi Wan vs. Skybreaker Anakin, battle of Mustafar style, out of my head because the concept of them both being able to control gravity while representing opposite ideologies slaps okay?

Plus, Obi Wan would look immaculate in Kholin blue.

Anakin being busy blowing stuff up, turning canons to dust while Ahsoka skates past him as if solid ground were made of ice cutting through squads of droids while Obi Wan wears the face of the enemy leader and convinces them to surrender? 20/10

Maul:

This one is a lightweaver too and for the same reasons as Obi Wan.

He’s a charismatic bastard and he’d used his abilities to their maximum destructive potential. Just like in Clone Wars, he’d topple governments and overtake civilizations from the inside out.

Lightweavers are not bound by honor so Maul can pretty much do what he wants so long as he’s able to admit truths about himself. Whether he’s successful in doing so remains to be seen.

An important sidenote, Maul has Nightblood.

Maul would have Nightblood and everybody would be in danger.

#ahsoka tano #captain rex #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #maul #darth maul #tcw #the clone wars #star wars #stormlight archive #radiants

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birthdaysentiment · 4 years

Text

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #36

Maandag 11.03 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part One)

I think a lot of people know the feeling of running towards something, whether it's physically or mentally. The rush that goes through your body for each step you take, or the speed your thoughts and feelings are going at for every minute that passes by. Running towards something or someone carries a lot of emotions, both good and bad, because what will happen when I reach what I have been searching for, when I finally reunite with the person I have been longing to hold, or what will happen when I finally see the person that I truly love?

Despite Robbe's attempt to get in contact with Sander the day before, he still hasn't heard from him, and there's still no signs of where he could be, if he's safe or not. And that thought alone is enough to make Robbe almost shiver with anxiety and worry, because for each minute that passes by Robbe thinks back to Britt's words, that made a cold feeling run through his body: "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid". But as Robbe is standing in the middle of the corridor at school, with Jens by his side, he receives a rather cryptic message from Sander.

Nobody knows where Sander has been for the past 24 hours, so when Robbe receives that message, a sense of relief seems to run through his body, because Sander is finally reaching out, letting Robbe know what is happening. At first it doesn't seem like Robbe understands the meaning behind Sander words, and it's not until Sander texts him back saying "I'm taking shelter until the meltdown is over. Somewhere safe", that Robbe seems to figure out what it means, where Sander has been all this time. And it's that look on Robbe's face that makes us all realize, that the moment, we've all been waiting for, has finally arrived.

The moment of realization gets even more magical, as the alternative version of "wildfire" starts playing in the background, where the sound of the soft and heart-warming melody immediately brings back every emotion and memory from when we heard the song for the first time weeks ago. In that moment, when realization hits Robbe, he just turns around and starts running, letting his feet almost float above the ground, as his mind goes to the memory of their conversation about "chernobyl", and what it means to them. And as he runs down the corridor in slow-motion, the song follows his every move, making everything fit perfectly together.

When Sander wrote "everything I do is chernobyl", he chose that word because he knew Robbe would understand what it meant, what he was referring to: a complete meltdown in your brain, the state of total turmoil and the absolute chaos and mayhem your mind can sink to when everything gets to much. Robbe had used the same word to explain what happened after their first kiss, and Sander seemed to understand immediately, because he had experienced it so many times himself. As Robbe runs down the stairs, flashbacks from their conversation and their passionate kiss fills the screen, while the song keeps playing in the background, and I remember that I almost forgot to breath, because I was so in the moment and I didn't want to miss anything.

This song is loaded with emotions, especially in terms of Robbe and Sander, so for wtFOCK to use the different versions of the song to this clip, just like they did with Woensdag 21.21, just shows the significance of it, and how important it is in terms of their story. It's interesting to see how they chose to use the same song for two clips, that both represents an essential moment in their relationship. For example, their first kissed proved to be a point of no return, as they finally admitted their feelings to each other, and this clip proved to be the moment where they finally reunited, where they let down their bars and took each other in completely, promising that they would never be alone again, because they would always have each other.

Robbe is standing at the bike rack near Sander's school, like he did weeks ago, while flashbacks from that moment seems to come back to him, like they're encouraging and guiding him in his search for Sander. He goes to the classroom where he saw Sander that day, hoping to find the boy with bleached hair, but there's no sign of him. Robbe looks sad and a slight fear and disappointment seems to take over, making his heart race faster, because maybe he didn't interpret Sander's text right, maybe he's not in the right place at all. But Robbe is determined to keep on searching for Sander, because he would never give up on him.

In that moment Robbe turns around and starts running up the stairs, as the song changes to its original version. The pace becomes faster as Robbe moves through the different rooms in search for Sander, and he seems to be running faster between each room, as the intensity riches in the song. The power and the intensity of the melody almost creates an excitement and an anticipation for what is going to happen, but the rhyme also makes your heart race even faster, as we wait for the song's peak. In that same moment as the song reaches its highest point, Robbe closes a door, which starts a chain of memories flashing before him, as drawings of special and important moments with him and Sander, blends with the actual moments, making the whole montages of memories and drawing so beautiful and extremely emotional to watch.

For me, this is one of the most beautiful moments in season 3, because everything was so well thought out, everything just seemed to connect, which added something extra to the whole experience. The way wtFOCK chose to include the flashbacks was so original and such a beautiful way to make a reference to Sander, because as we learned later on in the clip, Sander had tried to capture almost every moment he'd spent with Robbe through drawings and pictures, because he wanted to hold on to those memories forever, and that just made the flashback-montage even more special. And once again, the editing was spot on, as the speed of the flashbacks, the hast in Robbe's movement and the rhyme in the song seemed to come together as one. The combination made our hearts beat faster, we were almost unable to control it, as we waited for Robbe to find Sander.

What I love most about the flashbacks, is not only the moments they chose, but also how they chose to make the whole montage. For example, how the warm and brighter filter over the flashbacks symbolizes the fondness of those memories, how important they are for Robbe and how he keeps them close to his heart. But the golden colors over the flashbacks, also seems to represent the emotions Robbe connects with them, such as warmth, happiness, safety, comfort and love. The memories remind Robbe of his and Sander's journey together, how those moments changed his life for the better, how they made Robbe want to be the person he truly was.

If you think back to the meaning behind the lyrics and the overall message the artist wanted to give with this song, then it makes perfect sense, as to why wtFOCK chose this song for this particular moment. Even though I've explained some of it before, I think it means something different with this clip, as Robbe and Sander have come a long way since their first kiss. During the scene where the memories flash before Robbe as he runs in search for Sander, the lyrics below blends with the melody:

Sometimes we break so beautiful

And you know you're not the only one

I breathe you in, so sweet and powerful

Like a wildfire burning up inside my lungs

In times of loss and destruction, someone might need to hear that they matter and that there's hope. Because some people wake up with the same feeling every day, a feeling of missing something that has been taking away from them, how everything can seem so hopeless, which sometimes can make it too hard to continue. But there is someone out there, who will stop you from giving up, who will come and pull you out of the dark-ness, to show you that there is hope somewhere in this world. The meaning behind the song describes the situation in this clip perfectly, and as I've said before, I still can't believe this song wasn't written for Robbe and Sander because everything seems to fit together with their journey, but that just shows that wtFOCK couldn't have chosen a more perfect song to use as a symbol of their story.

Sander is in a place where he feels like everything he does is chernobyl, and that he can't protect Robbe from the fallout. This makes Sander lose hope, because he's afraid that his actions will prevent them from being together. But Robbe is not gonna let that happen, he's not gonna let Sander slip through his fingers, because Robbe wants to remove that feeling of hopelessness, since Sander was the one who showed Robbe hope, who pulled him out of the darkness and into the light. They have been each other's saviors, showing each other how good it could feel to be alive, to live life to its fullest. That's why Robbe is running towards Sander, because he needs to let him know that he's not alone, that Robbe is always going to be there and love him.

The racing beat of the song quickly comes to an end when Robbe finally finds Sander, and in that moment the music stops, almost indicating the importance of the moment to come. Silence takes over, making the moment even more intense, as we all await Sander's reaction to Robbe's presence in the room. Robbe gets a change to take his surrounding in, and I'm sure the sight of all the drawings and picture took him by surprise, but that didn't remove his focus from the boy sitting in front of him, who was looking even more sad and broken than ever before. Robbe had kept on running, determined to find that one person he would do anything for, and just the sight of the red marks around his beautiful green eyes, was enough for Robbe to realize that he would do anything for Sander, that he would do anything to make him feel loved and safe.

#wtfock #wtfam #music in wtfock #wtfocksoundtrack #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sorry for the long post

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

Text

tg anime vs manga *sighs*

i have the power of hyperfixation and anime on my side! AAAAAAAA

Ok now that we’ve gotten the sins of re post out of the way we need to discuss this. And I just feel that this needs to be covered because I can’t ever get away from constant discourse on this, mostly fueled by manga readers who feel entitled to always think they’re superior for reading the manga, that the manga is the only real canon, that it’s more complex or better, I’m so fucking tired of it. I am also a manga reader, and I tend to get like that sometimes too with many series (for example no. 6 and the promised neverland.) I get it. It can be really annoying to see something butchered on screen to what the original is, changed or represented differently or given a different message or simplified. But just. Some people like the anime and it’s not a goddamn holy war for y’all to fight. It only makes anime fans not want to read the thing even more yknow cause manga readers are pretentious assholes, and I am aware of this as one of them.

(again ok i’d like to mention i know this fandom is basically dead but a certain p*nterest is always like 4 years behind on fandoms so i keep fucking running into Discourse that’s like, still current, whenever i want old random ass content) (and youtube, why do i look at youtube comments, because I personally enjoy being offended? yeah probably)

And that brings me to the point of this anime vs manga.

This is a lot harder to compare than a lot of other series, because there are just... so many more differences not just in the style and vibe but the story itself.

Disclaimer, I’ve never watched the anime for :re and i don’t intend to, because I honestly have no earthly clue how tf you can get from the highly diverged tokyo ghoul root A to re and make it make sense, and I don’t really want A ruined for me. So you can call me biased towards the manga in the case of re, i guess (which makes my eventual conclusion even more strong I’d say) Honestly I just see them as two completely different stories, the manga’s version connecting with re and A just like... ending there. So how we’re drawing the lines is basically tokyo ghoul A versus the manga and :re. God, I know this isn’t a fair fight because I already hate re so much, but I feel like the manga’s story is much more intertwined with :re than the anime’s is, so that’s what we’re going with.

oh god also another disclaimer this opinion is coming from the biggest fucking kanehide whore, you can disregard anything i say if you ship The Straights and/or do not care for my boi hide

To be honest, if I can take my own conclusions and liberties to the story, I like both versions, each have their pros and cons and kind of a conflicting message. They can’t really coexist. Usually I’d consume all versions and then create one consistent canon in my head for what I accept as the true events (for example my main owari no seraph, first season of the anime is canon but after that we only follow the manga since those can come together and make sense.) but it’s very hard to do that in tokyo ghoul, since I must confess... I really like root A. Like of course, it’s a lot different from the manga, but tbh I think it’s super valid. (unlike most Fans TM like this Fan TM who i’m sending this post to just to spite their singular Youtube Comment Section Discourse, yes I did write this post for you and many others like you) But the ideas that make up root A conflict a lot with the ones of the manga, so I just have to accept that they’re separate things and treat them as such.

Now to break it down so people can understand where I’m coming from I guess? God this is already so long here’s a read more

The Case for The Manga (including :re manga)

More Lore + Plot Shit: One of the main reasons that manga readers are pretentious little bitches is a valid reason, namely that, as is the case with most manga, there’s simply more to it than people can fit into an anime. (Although people need to understand that’s because,,, it’s simply a different medium, so it will have different pluses and minuses, such as for example a soundtrack, color, moving pictures,,, you know, all that. Anime onlys don’t say that the anime is better by stating these things that a manga won’t have... because they’re fucking obvious. So manga readers should stop acting like an anime is inherently sub-par for being less in depth, but we digress.) I can understand that reading the manga is kind of important for wanting to understand the lore (though there are like so many other reasons ppl might want to watch it other than to get the lore) and without the explanation of how all this came to be and how it works, everything tends to be really mysterious, confusing, and seemingly random. It’s really nice to know what’s all going on, of course, and stuff like the washuus, rize’s backstory, the explanation for like, kaneki in general, all that- if you’re looking for like, plot shit, manga is definitely your go to. But like, sometimes, you like, don’t actually care about those things.

Haise: Of course one of the most important things about well, including re is that I fucking love Haise. Like he is my favorite Kaneki. He’s just so wonderful, look at him in he glasses and he floofy hair and he striped pants and he energy boxers and he s p i c e and he MOM. And I really like how they took Kaneki’s character and developed it more with Haise, you can see his turnaround from innocent--> Emo--> Trying To Be Innocent Again But Failing and I think that’s really sweet tbh. I rejected that at first because I didn’t understand it but once I actually read re I thought it made a lot of sense and was a logical thing to do with his character. (though, uh, moving forward, after his hair changes again i disagree with it, haise 1.0 is a good take and i love him and i want the best for him) I could go on I’ve already written a post of what I think is wrong with :re so if you want to hear my take on kaneki’s 37 pokemon evolutions that’s in there

Good New Characters: And of course there are my favorite bitches such as quinx squad, oh my god, there was a terminal lack of dumbass squad vibes in the original and ishida fucking gave it to us, I love them, I love them with all my heart and I think that if I wasn’t attached to them I’d probably just cancel all of :re but like this is just my personal problem. God I love them. Ishida always pulls through with characters I’m now too attached to.

Vore Lmao:Ok like hear me out. I just get a laugh out of it every time the manga has to remind me of this little fucking fact. Like ok I just. Cannot get over it. It’s so serious about it too and like I realize it’s a serious deal but o h m y g o d

Ok and now that we’ve got that little rant over I do want to say that it is like actually really important past the “lmao that’s pretty gay” bit, like??? In some ways it’s more fitting than the anime because well, ishida’s point always seems to be “what would mentally and physically hurt kaneki the most right now” and does it because that’s who this bitch is. But it just?? Kind of makes a bit more sense for the storyline if we’re being picky here, it’s so,,, painfully on point? Like the entire reason he gave in to Being A Ghoul and all was so he could save his friends and shit (i actually do not remember if this was a thing in the manga but like? when he was being tortured and he like imagined hide being really mad at him and getting killed by jason and shit?) LIKE AND THEN HE GOES AND HAS TO BASICALLY BE THE PERPETRATOR OF THAT HIMSELF, FUCK, it’s a lose/lose situation of “don’t do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer” or “do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer but like, later” ishida please

The meaning of Hide being alive: Ok this is just me crying over chapter 75 still but like. Instead of in the anime, where hide’s point seems to be that instead of letting kaneki sacrifice anything more he’d be the one to give his life up and such, and save kaneki, in the anime tbh he just really wanted to be with kaneki right then?? and like ouch but understanding that in the manga he wasn’t just planning on dying and leaving kaneki to deal with it afterward he wanted to go on and continue to try to help the guy no matter the shit he had to go through, no matter if the dude just like forgot that he existed for two years and all- LIKE UH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HIDE DOESN’T EVEN EXPECT ANY APOLOGY? like kaneki’s like “OH MY GOD I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON” and hide’s like lmao nah it’s cool i’m thriving- that his big motto was “live” rather than “peace out motherfuckers it’s been fun”. Cause. Fucking. Ishida. Can’t kill off characters well but like at least he made keeping this one alive justified.

The D e t a i l s: Ok well I feel like this is something everyone knows but the anime is missing a lot of really,,, crunchy details that the manga throws in there, like, well, kaneki’s fucking,,, bones thing, and other assorted details, g o d like those are missable if you want to never understand half the memes but also like,,, sometimes you just gotta read that shit. It also like, makes more sense when you do but sometimes it’s just stupid things that aren’t important but are fucking hilarious.

The Flavor: In general I’d say the greatest difference between the anime and the manga is the general flavor of the thing, the vibe in the manga is a lot, to be frank, darker and grosser and bloodier than the anime, which is a lot more focused on being pretty and Tragic than “HOLY SHIT WTF” but like. That’s valid. With that comes it being a lot more, real, and although the art may not be as polished as the anime’s, sometimes that’s exactly what you need, and the really gritty sketchy shit that’s in the manga sometimes is exactly what it’s supposed to be for the manga. (in the anime, i’d say that the colored and polished style fits it better, so we’re good there.) It’s a lot more real, in the manga, when the anime hesitates to “go there” a lot (and well, sometimes that’s welcome, but sometimes it’s like y o u g u y s c o m e o n r e a l l y maybe i DID want to see that did you ever think of that)

So like, to sum it up i’d just like to say it’s more detailed, sharper and darker and is simply So Much. There is just More Content

The Case for Root A

ON THE OTHER HAND, (buckle up fuckers)

Depth of Emotion (that Ishida was too much of a pissbaby for): God like you know what I mean if you read the last post, we spent a whole episode on these gay fucks in root A, with backstory and dreams and drawn out suspense and emotion and GUYS LOOK AT THEM NO REALLY OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS whereas hide’s limelight in the manga is a whole... two pages, oh whoopee, and that’s mostly due to the fact of ishida putting himself in a spot of “oh fuck goddamn if i drew that in i’d get flagged for gay porn” but that’s his own fault, so he downplays the whole scene and really keeps it in the dark, whereas in this anime it’s understandably a lot less,,, like that, but how it plays out here is simply... really nice and makes you cry and shit, whereas in the manga I’d go “oh god oh damn oh fuck” *laughs my ass off because i really can’t take this seriously*. You get just... more here.

To elaborate on this, in the anime, as a gay fucking bastard, I can get practically an endless amount of content from episode twelve, and endlessly stew over all Those Things about it, every hard hitting line, the expressions, the music making it even sadder, the ways the VAs say the words, the cinematic beauty of the blood dripping on the floor and like how it’s supposed to make you think it’s kaneki’s, GOD I COULD FUCKING GO ON, but if we want to get that in the manga...

we get three incredibly basic lines, a blackout, and then a “QUICK LET’S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT HAHA”

So if we want to have more, we need to write it. (sadly) None of it is ever played out canonically so like,,, all we can do is infer and make shit up. It’s like, I am a writer so like that’s my whole job but I really would rather have more content, and have the content that’s there get to be emotional instead of *blank face* “this is plot that is happening, sadly” but like maybe it’s just bc i’m gay

Really Fucking Beautiful (aesthetically as well as story-wise): This kind of just goes hand in hand with the depth of emotion bit, and I think it can’t really compared to the manga here because I’m gay so I see pretty colors and cry so the anime is understandably appealing for me, but I’m also talking emotionally, yeah. There’s a lot of plotlines and implications of the story that are really well played out, I always love to watch the original because it does a very good job handling a lot of the harder topics and stuff that makes the whole thing worthwhile- like the whole point you’re supposed to see that the ghouls and humans are both just as monstrous when you break it down, that there are good and bad people on both sides, everyone just wants to live and feel good in their own life and perspective, everyone has reasons that justify their behaviour in their mind, sometimes you just can’t win no matter what, all that... they’re all really important messages and make the whole story, and they were handled much more delicately and with more expertise in the anime.

It’s hard to pin down, but I feel like the manga was just based more on Fight Scenes Characters OoH Fake Science and kind of just gave kaneki infinite power ups after Trying Harder no offense, obviously those things were there and they were still very good in the manga it’s just sometimes they were cheapened a lot by ishida really not keeping track of what he’s trying to say with his story and sacrificing it a lot for “BUT WHAT IF KANEKI’S HAIR AND IDEALS CHANGED AGAIN” instead of making it a whole cohesive work. (and yes, I am VERY aware of your “well aCtuAlLy the hair represents his sanity” thing i know i know and i’m about to rip it to fucking shreds so)

Understandable Character Development And Staying True To It: Which brings me to this point, character development. This was another thing that was just... handled with more expertise in the anime, whoever was in charge of it. Mostly this has to do with Kaneki, since like, no offense but he’s the only one who ever gets much character development other than like, juuzou (asmr you only get character development if your hair color changes) oh and i guess there’s tsukiyama but he’s someone who shouldn’t have gotten character development. Touka gets character development only before re for some reason, and like tbh that’s kind of it. I do think Juuzou’s character development was valid, because well... it made sense? I complained about it before because I was like “well he just turns into spicy L” but i’ve since changed my opinion, he’s best boy. But Kaneki? They went way overboard with him in the manga, and generally? Calm tf down ishida.

Breaking it down, one of the main things that most of the tried and true manga stans seem to hate about the anime the most is Kaneki going over to Aogiri in root A. Since they’re much more acclimated to the manga, they don’t understand why he would do that (quoting a particular ‘probably made sense in the manga!’ yes i know that whole thing was poking fun at the show and i felt it lmao) and they just pin it to “ahaha he has now become Edgy for the fans ehehe time to make fun of him” and TO BE FAIR YOU’D BE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I love to make fun of Kaneki when he does his edgy bitch thing because that’s what he is. A basic edgy bitch who is just,,, such a main character. But like. He does actually have his reasons despite popular opinion and to be honest I think they’re a bit more valid than in the manga, where he’s just like “well I’ve been tortured, that was not pleasant and i kinda did a bad thing, let’s go back to anteiku but i’m just gonna Try Harder To Fight this time”. I can understand that, but like, it seems like in the manga every Character Development of kaneki is some form of “i will now be stronger” except for the singular “I will now be a different person” which, well, we’ll get to that.

In the anime though, even if it seems like more of a basic edgy bitch move, it’s like?? It makes perfect sense to me, and to be honest more than the manga does? Obviously he doesn’t wanna be best bros with Aogiri, he realizes they’re all bad people who have done really terrible things, but the fact is he now sees himself as the same thing, he now understands their motives because in his mind he is also now Bad TM. His whole character development of being tortured was that peace wasn’t an option no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t live being a pacifist and the world was forcing him to give the “i am the only one that understands! we need to stop fighting!” bullshit up because there was no way to achieve it. He realized if he kept himself the way he was more people he loved would be hurt like they already had because he couldn’t, so he doesn’t just Decide To Become Stronger, he gives up his humanity. And that includes basically letting himself defend his own actions and try to do “the right thing”.

Him then joining aogiri makes sense because well. They’re the people who are the strongest, who have the power, who are the same as he sees himself. He still wants to protect the people he loves, he just also realizes he can’t do it by working with them since he now understands that their more peaceful ways will by definition get them fucking killed. His understanding is flawed, of course. He’s not really right. But this is his understanding and from that it makes perfect sense for him to join up with aogiri and try to still do as much as possible from that standpoint, realizing that most likely the people he’s trying to protect will hate him for it. I think that makes sense to me, what do you not understand about it? (I also understand that may make some people mad because he’d Doing Bad Things but I point to you he’s so soft, remember when he was really nice to naki when he was literally the one who killed the guy naki was crying about? remember when he was doing a raid and he saw that guy hiding and he never mentioned it? remember like the seventy times he Cried TM, yeah he’s problematic obviously but if you want problematic I’ll point you to a certain fucking black reaper. Shironeki has nothing on that asshole.)

I think what Kaneki did in the manga was fine, but in general the anime (again) had more depth of understanding and emotion versus a steady Try Harder Get Stronger shonen deal, which, well, fair, but like, nah. Continuing why I think the anime dealt it better is the ending of A, which was a lot more well rounded then *kaneki gets stabbed and then there’s a lot of random plot shit going on in the background*. Here Kaneki then got to round out the end of his character development by realizing slowly through the second half of this season, him becoming a kakuja and then basically deciding like, not to

((kakuja kaneki was dealt with again different in the anime and manga because he basically stopped trying to use it in the anime bc he realized it was a bad fucking idea but this goes along with the ‘his character development of “i’m gonna do bad things for good reasons” --> “actually no wait that was a bad idea” was actually done in root A instead of being dragged out into :re and it’s appropriate for its own medium and the messages it’s trying to get across so manga loyalists hate it’ but we digress))

So in root A we got to see him actually develop and realize himself through the second half of the season starting with cochlea, his interactions with Amon, and ultimately through Hide, that he’d been doing the wrong thing by becoming more monstrous/fighting harder because what he did was ended up forgetting the most important thing, *smiles in gay* HIDE.(well, his humanity. yeah. i cite the terrible opening for root A with the fun ‘the hands taking off kaneki’s mask are hide’s’ bit.) He then remembered again why he wanted so bad to stop the war between humans and ghouls, he wanted to be able to live in peace and not have to be a monster- something that was not dealt with in the manga (though for understandable reasons of We Need To Fuck With Him In Re More, they then didn’t deliver on creating something like that later so I take this.)

That’s most of the difference between the original manga and anime, but I’d also like to discuss (briefly, I’ve already yelled about them) the ridiculous amount of hurdles ishida went through to fuck with kaneki in the manga, Of course there is the fact that well, the slower transition of his character does make some more sense for the manga because if you take :re into consideration, his eight billion character changes are more tolerable when they haven’t like, already happened before in the manga (just the anime). It makes more sense there for Haise to be tormented by past kaneki telling him He’s Too Weak because in the manga he hasn’t already had that development prior to “dying”, and he lost his memories still believing he had to be strong even if he did bad things, whereas in the anime it doesn’t track because at the end like i just said he kind of gives up his ghoulhood on purpose because he realizes that joining aogiri and fighting and shit was really wrong because, hide. So I can see why those character decisions were not made in the original when planning for :re, but... the fact remains that those previous decisions do not make up for how absolutely weak :re’s game ended up being with kaneki.

So tldr this entire section, All the manga’s defense of how they handled Kaneki’s development is basically void because all those choices were buildup for development in :re which ishida then COMPLETELY fell down on. So the alternative is better.

And now comes my yelling about how exactly Ishida fucked it up: hair colors and kaneki’s 80 kanekis. If black is supposed to represent sane and white is supposed to represent insane or, whatever, i dunno, who tf thought black reaper kaneki was sane? Who tf would think kaneki in the end isn’t? I haven’t looked into this really, and I’d really love it if someone explained it to me the way ishida was going for bc I do not understand it. Like that tracks with Juuzou, and with Kaneki up to Haise Original, but they don’t really make a cohesive sense seeing as after Haise’s hair color changed again that whole deal kind of goes to shit. Not to mention... I just... they completely failed to make those character changes actually part of the story, I’m mostly complaining about black reaper haise, none of him makes any sense. What’s his deal? He wants to protect who he loves? Tracks with the ghouls but fun fact he abandoned his kids? He actually cared for them? What then, he wants to be the strongest as possible? Sure but then?? Why?? I don’t understand his motives at all.

We also didn’t get to see him get his memories back either, which I was actually very much looking forward to, it just,,, like all of a sudden he’s talking with eto about yoshimura and i’m like bruh when tf did that happen? It’s bad, and although chapter 74-76 is super valid, and his change back into white hair kaneki makes sense, I also have the complaint about how haise basically disappeared just like he was worried he would. I think that was bad and I’ve said that already, it doesn’t make sense, he just literally throws those entire two years away to go back to the way he was before he was with the CCG and just forgets everything he’s wanted for the last few years? Fiction logic test fucking failed, and you’ve also broken my heart. Love Haise. You got rid of him. I love kaneki too but like. Why don’t they just. Like. Merge. He is one whole complex person, not one and an imposter, god.

This is a big negative for re and the manga, so automatically a positive for root A where I simply Do Not Have To Deal With That Bullshit and the character development actually makes sense. I can understand the decisions in the original manga could have set up for good development in :re, but they completely failed to deliver.

root a didn’t fast forward to re at the end god damn let us process this shit first before you try to connect it to something else: The thing with this point is that it’s really difficult to separate the original manga from the continuing story in :re because the thing intertwines so much and immediately moves us forward with a ton of plot points for the next part of the story before we’re done with this climax and the end of this story. Sometimes that’s ok and I can see doing that from an author’s perspective because you want people to continue reading your story instead of taking that as the end but it’s really annoying on a reader’s end, because I’m picky and I want to be able to just be able to enjoy my original canon without it like, metaphorically touching :re on a plate. It’s something that I don’t even do with my own longer stories, like for example I have like a trilogy of >100k fics that like, well i’m technically not done with them but like.

People really like the first one because it’s more focused on a more popular ship and basic elements people like about the thing, and then by the second book it moves on to talk more about the plot and lore and brings in more secondary characters. And so I knew that a lot of the readers of the first one wouldn’t want to have to deal with a lot of the “oh well stuff is happening elsewhere that will effect stuff later!!!” random plot shit that none of my readers actually cared about. So I kept it to wrapping up the points of the first book and then leaving the introduction of new characters and plot for the people who actually wanted to read it. Ishida didn’t do that, and of course it’s within his right to like?? Want to promote the next series but I’d have enjoyed it more if we ended it at kaneki’s “death” and wrapping up the deals with the rest of the characters instead of quickly shoving in the beginning of seventy more plotlines before the book ends. Like honey I simply do not have the reading comprehension for that. In the anime we get something that... makes sense.

In the anime, however, it’s quite the opposite, for example the reveals like Eto=owl=takatsuki sen were pushed before that and they saved episode twelve for, well, the end bit. Like what was actually the ending. There were detriments to this I had to say (LIKE GUYS I GET IT HE’S CARRYING HIDE HE’S CARRYING HIM I GET IT YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR HALF THE EPISODE NOW OK I UNDERSTAND CAN WE MOVE ON) But like, I prefer the concept of a simple idea with as much emotion squeezed out of it as possible to a ton of confusing and contradicting ideas that are touched on for a second before moving on. So the *cries for half an hour* ending was much more appealing to me, and I can keep that separate in my head from any of the ideas that :re creates, letting me pretend it doesnt exist and imagine that’s the end and there’s nothing else to worry about. If we want to move forward and hear more, then we can, but it isn’t necessary like it is with the manga.

No Bad Takes that are hard to pry apart from good plot and characters:This is basically the downsides of the new characters, which is well, if I had to make a whole ~keep reading~ post about how problematic everything in re was that does have to count as a downside. I love the new characters, but they also come intertwined with a thousand really bad takes on like, everything, and of course I can ignore it and just act as though they were written in like, to be perfectly honest, a non transphobic way, it’s a real downside when the original anime was pretty pain-free in the way of their takes on their characters. They fucked everyone up in re and I will not elaborate, we’ve talked about this, it’s just the anime, and which i mean season 1 and root A, don’t really have any bad takes I need to try to get rid of, it’s surprisingly something I have little complaint about at all and I ALWAYS have complaints.

Hide!!!!: Obviously, you can tell that a lot of my opinions are going to be hide based because he’s the only thing I ever think about. But we have to take into account just how... hide???? This goes a lot into the depth of emotion bit but it also offers the other side of the argument for Hide’s part in the :re manga, which well. Was mostly chapter 75 if we’re going to be perfectly honest here. He doesn’t get any other limelight. Even in the chapter where Kaneki meets him again he gets a whole what, three pages? In the manga, he has an extremely valid deal about basically, living, keeping going no matter what, and that is a fitting part for the manga, considering the rest of the points there ride more on Keep Fighting instead of Think About Your Emotions And Morals, but honestly chapter 75 was really valid. So why do I still think the anime’s version where he like (ok I don’t know about the re anime we’ve discussed this, i don’t even know how they choose to explain that) he like, dies in kaneki’s arms is better overall? Again, I would have totally accepted that deal if it was made a part of the story because it made me cry, it was super valid, and if they’d continued in that way I would have agreed with it completely over that. But the fact is again that they failed to deliver, and Hide got largely ignored, suffered so much with so little outcome. There was so much buildup and it was incredibly valid, but when the time came for them to meet again and basically show... why it was important that Hide lived in the end?

They didn’t. They straight up didn’t. Kaneki’s like “oh sorry bro... glad you’re alive and all...” *goes off and fights* and like? Honestly? @everlastingspiral is right, if that’s all they’re gonna do with him what’s the point of keeping him alive? I love every single panel of him and I wouldn’t have read re if he didn’t, but hide gets absolutely NO payoff. For letting kaneki literally vore his entire mouth off, leaving him disfigured and unable to talk, then kind of disappearing for two years and doing seemingly nothing but trying to help kaneki even though he’d forgotten the guy existed, risks his life like a thousand fucking times, eventually gets back to him and the dude’s running a fucking anti-human organization, helps him like Not Be A Volitile Pile Of Flesh Anymore and then what should have been a very important moment of them meeting again gets completely overshadowed by touka and random plot shit and more fights and they barely interact, they don’t even hug or anything, they barely talk, and at the end hide is still there but to be honest he’s gotten absolutely no thanks for all he did and ishida acts at the end as though he’s done very well with hide and gives him a tiny bit at the end throwing in a tragic backstory for fun (which hot take he really didn’t fucking need on top of it all) and... there’s no real hint that Kaneki is better off with Hide there, even though there should be. In 75, in his dream, kaneki is sobbing and crying and all like i’m so lonely without you but when they actually meet each other again? “yo” “hey” “uh sorry about,,, the thing,,, you know” “nah man it’s ok” “let me talk about myself for a bit” “yes you always do do you want to hear what I’ve been up to” “not really” “that’s fine i’m only here to support you”

...So you can understand why I’ve gone a bit sour on that. If that’s all you’re going to give him? Hot take? Let him die. Hide deserves better. (and i will deliver that in writing, but for the purposes of canon.)

In the anime, however (not counting re again... although he still gets the short end of the stick just in the original manga too compared to the anime) he’s properly dealt with! he gets his proper limelight and he gets acknowledged for what he’s done thusfar in the story, which is already so much. Kaneki then realizes that, but it’s already too late (or it isn’t, and they like negotiate with the ccg and then they get to live happily ever after) either way he gets appreciated and he gets hurt, but it’s properly acknowledged. And after all that, after saving kaneki and getting him to the cafe and doing it all while bleeding the fuck out, he gets to spend that time with kaneki and die in kaneki’s arms. And frankly? That’s all I think he’s ever needed. It’s really poetic and pretty and brings kaneki’s character around full circle, and even if it’s overly sappy, cliche, drawn out... he gets the attention he’s due and he gets a fucking break. He wanted to show Kaneki he wanted to do something for him and save him instead of the other way around, but then HE GOT ACKNOWLEDGED FOR THAT, instead of just well, tirelessly working towards it forever and having to be content to be a background character with practically no value to Kaneki anymore.

Keeps The Same Vibe: The big thing about this is that with the manga and with re, shit just goes all over the place, and I feel like I’ve amply showed that already through this essay or whatever this is. Again about the consistency and the professionalism, It’s a concise story that makes more sense than the manga while also being simply neater and more deep, making sure all the points, themes and messages work together and make sense to create a cohesive deal even if it’s not as long. (the manga is like ishida had a TON of good ideas for an essay but then fleshed out the thing ten minutes before deadline and managed to completely lose what his original thesis was even if the thing was 10 pages long.) Basically. yeah. That kind of sums it up, my last point concerns the ending.

Not Cheap Ending: If you want to hear my take about how absolutely terrible re’s ending was, check out my The Many Sins Of Tokyo Ghoul :Re post, and we’ve discussed how the original’s manga ending was bad and well not really an ending, it just leaves you unfulfilled and takes you into “well I guess I have to start a whole nother sequel series ig...” but root A like? Actually ends it? If a reader didn’t know that there was any content after that, they could pretty much infer that hide’s death or almost death whatever you inferred out of that ending (again we’re ignoring re) allowed Kaneki to finish his character development and realize they needed to stop the war, which basically tracks with what’s going on in everyone else’s perspective- eto’s problem with the world because of what happened with everything, is basically like, all of aogiri, juuzou and shinohara, amon and akira and kaneki and they can realize all they have to do is just sit down and fucking stop it because none of them want to be fighting, hide is the catalyst for that because the CCG can see how Kaneki cares for him? And it’s so open ended that you could just like literally believe that and there’d be no way for that canon to tell you otherwise, or you could go onto re and whatever if you wanted to. I think that’s the best thing.

In conclusion, both have valid points, and in general I’d say that the manga goes better with :re and the anime is better as a stand alone but if I had to choose overall, this particular anime is better (taking into account only seasons 1 and 2), for mostly the reasons of favoring a simpler story taken with much more care and depth versus a more complex story with many, MANY imperfect elements, and I am aware I will get shot on sight for this opinion. So sue me.

#tokyo ghoul #hideyoshi nagachika #kaneki ken #tokyo ghoul :re #essay post #god i've been writing this for so fucking long #but i'm right #y'all fuckers asked for a fight? you're getting a fight #rowan's hyperfixation essays

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missguthrievane · 4 years

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ELEANOR GUTHRIE, or her whole journey shown with her outfits :

*Note: This is a personal analysis and nothing is official. You are free to disagree with what I see, it’s just a personal opinion that I want to share.

It’s fascinating how we can see the whole evolution of the character of Eleanor just through her clothes over the seasons. I had fun watching very carefully everything she wore in each episode of each season and we can really see an evolution of mentality with each new wardrobe.

SEASON 1 : Businesswoman and spirit of rebellion.

Eleanor’s outfits in season 1 perfectly reflect her state of mind at the start of the show. The education that her father gave her via Mr. Scott was certainly rich, destined her for civilization, and marked her. At the same time, Eleanor grew up on an island where she finished her education among pirates. She is, at the start of the show, determined - like Flint - to create a semi-civilized Nassau, which would be somewhere between the security of civilization and the freedom that piracy offers. Her outfits reflect this state of mind divided between two worlds that she would like to see united.

She wears outfits that are both too elegant for pirates but too inappropriate for civilization. Her outfits also reflect the position of power she has over Nassau. She wears a lot of atypical and masculine things, like belts or ties. The fact that she wears her outfits also shows a certain spirit of rebellion towards the patriarchy of her time. She shows with her outfits that she considers herself the equal of men in terms of business because, with the power and the affairs that she conducts, she is indeed their equal.

In spite of that, it must have been difficult to earn their respect and even more to maintain it. We see in a scene of 1x02 with a merchant who refuses trade with her because she is not her father and who only agrees to sell his cargo to her after Vane threatens him. It is easy to think that she wears outfits with masculine touches to remind them that she is in power, that it is she who manages the trade within Nassau and also by simple rebellion against the oppression of men on her.

Despite this, Eleanor manages to retain some elegance and femininity to her clothing. She wears her hair rolled up in very elegant and tight buns, always accompanied by barrets or other hair accessories. This way of keeping her hair tied always had to be very practical given the heat that must reign on an island in the Caribbean. She wears a lot of jewelry, fine gold necklaces, small earrings, bracelets that sometimes look a little tribal (I like to imagine that these ones are gifts from Scott or Max, but she could surely acquire these by trading throughout the Caribbean), as well as some old pendants and rings typical of this era.

She also happens to wear stockings, although these stockings are special for this time. The only time we see them is when she sleeps with Vane, and they are black, very fine and sexy, which is not at all typical of the stockings of this era. I like to think that the black of these stockings is linked to the black of piracy and that attractive nature of these stockings is still linked to a rebellious spirit since it would be inappropriate for a woman of civilization to wear stockings like that but in Nassau? Nobody cares.

Her boots are generally elegant and refined too, although they remain practical boots. She wears many tight waistcoats, sometimes leather, sometimes fabric, always accompanied by light blouses. She only wears skirts, generally wide, which does not bother her to move quickly. She wears relatively pale colors, ranging from gray to brown, passing through light purple, or beige, except for her final outfit, which is of a dark burgundy and which is her most colorful outfit of all the season. Her most notable accessory is also, of course, the bunch of keys that she always wears attached to her belt. This set of keys from Nassau, which alone represents all the power she has on this island in this season. We can see a little of this outfit being some kind of victory outfit. At the end of the season, Eleanor finally has everything she always wanted, independence from her father and Nassau belonging entirely to her, with a new business that is entirely controlled by her and only by her.

SEASON 2 : Piracy and the beginning of the problems.

Eleanor’s outfits in Season 2 say something quite different. She keeps some things similar to what she wears in season 1, her large white or beige shirts, belts and the keys that are still so representative. But there is a lot of noticeable change and the biggest change we can see is that her outfits are much closer to pirate outfits. She already has a lot less color than before. Knowing that black is the absence of color and refers to piracy (I am thinking here of the absence of color on pirate flags), it’s surely is not a coincidence that her outfits are suddenly darker. She almost wears only brown, beige, gray, black, and sometimes a rare dark green, and this applies as much to her skirts as to her shirts. The most notable element is that she no longer wears any of her waistcoats that looked elegant, instead, she has replaced them with a brown pirate-like leather jacket and reminds us of the jackets that we can see on Flint, Vane or Anne.

She also wears coarser, larger and less elegant boots. Her jewelry has also changed a lot, she only wears a necklace for the entire season, and it’s a gold medallion, which once again is very reminiscent of piracy, and only two types of earrings, one of which also recalls pirate coins (and her old rings). She still wears elegant buns a few times, especially for certain meetings at the tavern, but in the vast majority of the season, her hair is much more neglected. We see that she ties it quickly most of the time instead of spending time styling them and for good reason: she no longer has this free time for it. Taking full independence implies more responsibilities and we can see through the difficulties she has in running the consortium that she no longer has time for this kind of thing. She is too busy between the problems that Flint and Vane cause her in the season, as well as the danger that Ned Low represents for her.

It’s a season which brings her, on the aesthetic level, much more to piracy than her outfits in season 1. She favors more the practical side than elegance, it saves time and conveys that this is the season where Eleanor is the closest to piracy (aesthetically) that she’ll ever be. Her final outfit is also completely black, of course, it’s a mourning outfit for the death of her father but it may also represent Eleanor’s farewell to piracy, making her wear an entirely black outfit, the key color of piracy, for her last scenes in season 2.

SEASON 3 : Colors of England and prisoner.

Season 3 is, of course, the big visual and aesthetic change for Eleanor. She is on the other side now, on the side of civilization… but not yet entirely and we can feel it in her outfits. She starts the season with an outfit very similar to her last one of the end of season 2, a dark brown/black shirt and skirt, perhaps the same as the one she wore at this moment, and it’s her prisoner outfit. It’s perhaps a visual way of representing that right now, colors of piracy are a danger for Eleanor, since she is now on the lands of civilization, in the hands of the English.

Once onboard for Nassau, we can note one point: Eleanor lost everything after her arrest, her clothes are therefore provided by Rogers and by the English. We can thus note that her dresses are all the same, without accessories, jewels or flourishes. They are elegant and suitable for an English lady while remaining very simple because Eleanor remains a prisoner in this season.

The symbol in this season is more represented by the colors, which are much more vivid than the old outfits of Eleanor. It is quite interesting that Eleanor have three outfits which together form the colors of the English flag: a red dress, a blue dress and a light gray dress, almost white. I think almost all of her dresses have special meaning. The dark outfit of the beginning represents the new danger that piracy represents for Eleanor (knowing also that she have now many enemies among the pirates, much more than before since she has no more power over them). The light gray outfit from episode 3x03 can also represent a kind of transition outfit, it’s the outfit she wears arriving at Nassau, not a colorful outfit. Therefore recalling her past with piracy, we can further emphasize this link with one of the dresses she wears the most: the dark green dress.

This dress represents what remains of piracy in Eleanor. She always wears this dress at times reminiscent of her past with piracy. She wears it first when she tells Rogers that he does not know Nassau, unlike her, then again when she talks to him about her past with Vane and how she conquered Nassau. It is also an outfit that can be linked to Vane, because she wears it when he sees her on the deck, again when she learns of his return to Nassau, when she will face him in the fort and finally when she decides his fate with a discussion with Max. She also wears it when she faces Hornigold, which is also a part of her past. It is her dress which, with the two outfits of the beginning, has the least color, and which is therefore the most connected to piracy and to her past.

The blue dress may be related to Rogers. Blue is the color of purity, of hope, and Eleanor begins to be hopeful about civilization and Rogers towards the middle of the show when she decides to become Rogers’ mistress (since he is married, this is what she is in this season). It is also the moment when she wants to wash away the sins of her past concerning betrayal, and thus perhaps wanting to adopt a “pure” color, to show perhaps also, consciously or not, a false image of her to Rogers.

The red dress is, of course, the most linked to civilization. It’s simply the color of the English, the color of the soldiers, and she fits perfectly in the mass of English when she wears it, moreover, she wears it in the scene where she makes her comeback on the island and in the tavern, which is very significant. She arrives surrounded by English soldiers in red with herself in red in the middle of them, perfectly matched, a symbol that she is now part of civilization. She wears this outfit every time she appears outside with Rogers on Nassau (except when she picks him up after he fought with Vane), and above all, she wears it when she hangs Vane, symbol that she just definitely killed the pirate part in her (or trying, at least).

For details, we can note that she wears boots similar to what she wore in season 1, smaller and elegant. Her hair is almost always worn down, which we have never seen from her before, and she styles them in a more elegant and appropriate way for a woman. Although she can sometimes tie them quickly (she may be with the English, but it’s probably always as hot in Nassau). We notice that she wears stockings again in the sex scene with Rogers, but very different from the ones she wore with Vane. Here they are red or dark pink in color, thicker, in cotton. These are much more classic stockings for women of this era. And of course, she wears corsets.

The last thing you can notice is her final outfit: a new blue dress, which only increases my opinion that the blue dress is linked to Rogers and to this new, more “pure” image that Eleanor is trying to adopt. The dress is thicker and heavier than the others, with detailed patterns, which is very symbolic for season 4: this indicates the place that Eleanor will now adopt in the next season, the place of governor’s wife.

SEASON 4 : Governor’s wife and civilization.

Season 4 is the natural continuation of season 3 for the aesthetics and clothing of Eleanor. However, she is now the governor’s wife, which changes a few details. She always wears very civilized dresses, similar to what we see in season 3, but at the same time very different. We feel in her way of moving that the dresses are much heavier, that the fabric is somehow of better quality. We can see that the patterns are much richer and more varied, which indicates more expensive dresses. Her position as governor’s wife means that she must wear outfits that indicate this position, as well that she is now a wife devoted to her husband.

She wears her hair tied in a way much more complicated than before, with very precise curls and even tighter styles. It’s probably the most complicated hairstyles that Eleanor has ever worn and which must be what takes up the most of her time. But as the governor’s wife, she must be well-dressed, and she certainly has a lot more time than she did before. Not to mention that she now has more or less a maid in the person of Mrs. Hudson.

Her outfits are very beautiful and rich, but nevertheless very impractical. We can notice in the scene of combat with the Spanish soldier that she still wears very traditional, pale stockings in cotton. She wears very few jewels, except two: her wedding ring, of course, but especially a pearl necklace with a bee pendant. No official explanation has been given about the bee pendant, but I see two possible interpretations, and one does not necessarily exclude the other. The first is that this pendant is connected to Vane, and by extension, to piracy, in reference to the nickname that Vane gave to Eleanor in the past and that we hear Jack pronounce once: “Lady Honeypot”.

It would be a nice gesture on the part of the costumers to show that, despite what she did to Vane and what she did to herself at this moment. (‘She doesn’t have a chance to really reflect on what she did to Vane, and what she was doing to herself, in that moment. I think she killed part of herself, in that act. Perhaps, in a way, that’s what killed her ability to achieve her end’ - Hannah New). By keeping something of him, she so keeps something pirate in her always (this whole theory was appreciated and approved by the actress on Twitter by the way).

The second interpretation is simply related to the popular term (especially in high school) of “queen bee”, which would be a symbol of her past power, recalling that she was once the “queen of thieves”. I visualize, in one way or another, this bee pendant as the last symbol of her past, of the power she had, the loves she lost.

We can also note an interesting detail: Eleanor only wears green in season 4. Metallic green for the first dress, water green for the second and more classic green for her final dress, another color reminiscent of the only dress which linked her to piracy in season 3. This could be the last link to her past, but I opt more so that this color actually connects her to Nassau, to the land that Nassau represents, this island for which she has fought all her life, and with which she died.

#blacksailsedit #black sails #eleanor guthrie #bsladies #ladiesofnassau #bseguthrie #bseleanor #hannah new #black sails meta #eleanorguthrieedit #coloring made by barbalas #made by me

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kakukoto · 3 years

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Ace of Hearts

♥ Chapter 2 ♥

[Previous]

A/N: Yep, I'm the noob who've never posted my works on Tumblr before, imagine my surprise at finding so many AIB fics floating around! So after attempting to satiate my Chishiya cravings, I realized my infatuations know no bounds and decided to feed myself instead.

Pairing: Chishiya x OC

Warnings: Angst, swearing, descriptions of violence, gore and sexual references will be present throughout this story.

Two weeks passed before she came across the same young man who talked to her on her first night. Arisu, he told her. The way his voice cracked belied the same kindness he offered her. It must have had something to do with his change of partners, she surmised. After all, not many managed to survive here, and surviving with someone important to you, that was an even tougher feat.

She supposed that Chishiya’s advice did carry weight; it was cruel but necessary to forego any pity for others. After all, how selfless can one be in the face of death? However, it was not within her nature to abandon her humanity. Rina had been this way since young, always the impartial mediator among her friends, choosing to understand rather than pass judgements carelessly. People gravitated towards her empathy, yet a fair share would take advantage of her compassion whenever it served their needs, a particularly common occurrence especially here in Borderland.

In games, she quickly became the person that newcomers go to, for she remained the only one that actually gave a damn to their incessant questions. Arisu helped too, sometimes, but she could see the weight of his life on his shoulders. It was not easy attaching herself to these strangers. Once they exchanged names, their lives meant something, and it hurt her every time someone she befriended died. She would’ve continued her altruistic acts had it not been Usagi’s firm disapproval.

“You are really strong, you know?” Now, facing the river that divided Tokyo, the young man divulged his thoughts.

She was surprised by Arisu’s admission. Of all the adjectives she would use to describe herself, strong was definitely not one of them.

“You still manage to stay you after everything that we’ve been through.” The man looked at her in half admiration and half pity. “Your heart is strong.”

Usagi gave them a side glance as the building across the shore lit up. “Which is why you need to guard it even more. People here are twisted and will do anything to live. Expose even a tiniest weakness and they will aim for the kill.” The breeze was a welcoming change from the suffocating city skylines. “Speaking of which, I guess we found the place.”

They remained silent for a while, taking in the first breath of relief ever since they entered this world. She still had many questions, and finding the safe haven that Arisu had been talking about felt like a small step towards understanding the situation. Briefly, her childhood friend crossed her mind. Despite their tense parting, she still wished that he was here with her. Arisu and Usagi had been nothing of accommodating towards her, something she could not say about Chishiya from their short reunion. However no matter the person he is now, he remained as someone she knew from the real world. The attachment could not be erased so easily, especially so when in this world where they were all starved of human connection. Although he may not look and act the same way anymore, she still felt the same familiarity from him. No matter, she would look for him once she gets to the beach.

With that thought in mind, she felt a blossoming pain at the back of her head before she slipped into unconsciousness.

…

When she woke, she found herself bounded and surrounded by strangely dressed people who claimed to be the team running the Beach. The guy who introduced himself as Hatter was the craziest of them all. He gave them a grand walkthrough of his beliefs and the rules of the place. The three of them slowly realised that the Beach was far from a safe haven; it was beginning to feel like a dictatorial hell residing in abyss itself.

To make matters worse, they were compelled to become members here, giving Hatter ownership of the cards they own. Rina watched in horror as he waved her three cards at her. “Ara ara my dear, my guys told me they found three heart cards in your pocket. THREE. I have to be honest, I would never peg you as a hearts player, but we do need someone of your caliber to help us conquer the most cumbersome suit of all.”

When she was first introduced to the game mechanics, she was made aware what the different suits represented. Many players felt the Hearts suit was the cruelest, messing with their emotions and mind. She concurred to that point, especially since her first Hearts game left her as the sole survivor, shouldering the deaths of the other players. She emerged scarred and hysterical, more so than any other games, until she met Arisu and Usagi. The two had helped her hold on to her sense of self and will to live.

When she cleared her head and thought back to the games with much agony, she discovered that there was in fact a strategy to them, similar to other suits. Though the probability of winning was much lower given that it required other players to be on board with her plan as well. What the game bet on was the mental state of the players by clouding their minds with fear and trust issues. In other words, it was a psychological test, something she excelled at in her profession. She supposed Hatter was right when he called her out on it.

Once the rules were explained to them, they were each brought to their rooms with the garments fitting to their sizes already in the closet. She hesitantly grabbed a plain black bikini, and layered it with a white, bell sleeved cover up that barely reached mid thigh. The material was a little see through, and too short for her liking, but she supposed it was better than nothing.

Arisu and Usagi headed straight out to assess the situation, but she stayed behind in her room, hoping for a little peace after the morning spectacle. By the time she woke up, her room was dark save for the luminescent numbers displayed on the little electronic clock at her bedside. Her body was still heavy, muscles aching from overuse during the various games. As much as she hated being chained down, she had to admit that this was the best sleep she got since she came to this world. The hotel bed was comfortable, and her friends were alive. “Oh fuck…” Rina suddenly remembered her promise to meet the other two in dinner. Quickly, she ran her fingers through her hair and begrudgingly left the room. She didn’t want her friends to worry about her.

The lights in the hallway blinded her momentarily, and when her eyes adjusted to it, she noticed a figure in front of her. Said man had a rifle resting on his shoulders, his face donned with multiple piercings as empty eyes bored down to hers.

“Yo new girl, let’s go.”

Instinctively, she stepped back. “W-w-who are you?”

“Hm?” The man turned to her, tongue running across his lips dangerously. She could feel his eyes rake through her body, a smirk making its way across his features. “Why don’t you guess, since you’re so good at playing with people’s hearts?”

Memories of the leopard printed shirt crossed her mind. “It was luck, nothing more”, she murmured. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.”

Her reply only seemed to fuel the man’s advances. “Let’s do a little exchange then. I’ll tell you my name, if you can scream it to me in a more pleasurable position, how about that?” The cool surface of metal briefly brushed against her cheek as he invaded her personal space. “You’ll be happier with me than that old man Hatter.”

The man looked every bit deranged as Hatter, and she had to bite her tongue for self preservation. From his very suggestive statement, she deduced that there must be some bad blood among the higher ups. He did not seem like he answered to number one, especially with the disdain colouring his tone.

As she processed his words, said man stepped even closer, his face a mere inch from hers. She could feel his breath upon her cheeks, the faint smell of cigarettes wafting through the air. Just as she prepared herself to run back into her room, someone grabbed her arm and pulled her back, away from the unwelcoming approaches.

“Careful Niragi, you know Hatter doesn’t take it well when someone steals from him.”

A grey jacket appeared in her field of vision. Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of the man that she vowed to find, though it brought to her mind more questions. What was he doing here?

“Who died and make you his bitch?” As quickly as he commented, the gunman pointed his rifle up at Chishiya’s chin. Her childhood friend however, did not look fazed by that.

“Just stating facts. Oh right, the games are starting soon. I wonder what will Hatter say if she didn’t participate in the initiation test because she was held back?”

The tension in the corridor was palpable. Niragi considered the shorter man’s reasoning before he pulled back, leaving the two of them. Once the walking danger was out of sight, Rina turned to her friend in relief. He still looked the same as the last time they met, calm but calculating.

“You’re here.” She wanted to give him a hug but hesitated, remembering his indifference to physical contact that night.

Chishiya gave her a half smile as he let go of her. His eyes scanned her form, just like Niragi did earlier, but if he had any comments on her choice of dressing he did not voice it out. She followed him, knowing that he was going to bring her to some initiation test. The questions were bubbling in her mind, but she was hesitant to ask him knowing that he would brush them off again. Not knowing what to say, she awkwardly rubbed her thumbs together. Surprisingly, it was Chishiya who broke the silence.

“Hatter wants you to join the executive committee, that’s why you have to do the initiation test.” He held the evaluator door open as she stepped in, a simple action that she would normally pass on had it not contradict to his behaviour. Acts like this reminded her of the Chishiya she once knew. “It’s just another game, but someone from the committee will be there as well to gauge you.”

“I thought he’s only interested in Arisu?”

“Hatter likes to keep the strongest, most intelligent players close. Everyone has their own strengths, and yours seem valuable enough to him.”

To him. The way he worded his sentence was not lost on her. Perhaps in his mind she was of little value, Rina concluded. The thought of it saddened her, although she could not deny that his intelligence was a force to be reckoned with even when they were young.

“What if I don’t want to join the committee? My visa doesn’t expire for another two days, and I would much rather not put my life on the line unless necessary.” It was uncomfortable being labelled this way, and she most definitely did not want to be forced to play with others’ emotions just because she had an affinity to the game.

“You’ll soon find out that what Hatter wants, he always gets.” His next words were uttered much quieter. “You shouldn’t have came here.”

“Well, Arisu thought this place would hold answers to our existence here, and I figured it is a good place to start…”

“And are you satisfied with the answers you found so far?” The expression on his face mocking her.

“No but I found you, haven’t I?” She gave him a weak smile.

“I see you didn’t heed my advice at all.” A sigh escaped his lips.

The elevator doors opened, this time the sounds of chattering could be heard across the hallway. Once she stepped out, Chishiya let go of the elevator door he was holding and briskly walked towards the noise.

“Chi wait-” The man stopped and walked back to her, this time his expression serious.

He whispered, making it clear that he wanted to keep their conversation clandestine. “Listen, I know you love to bond with strangers over sob stories, but do not ever reveal that you know me in the real world. If anyone asks, we are not friends. You only saw me once, in your first game here. Do I make myself clear?”

She was not used to his commanding tone. He was always so lenient towards her when they were younger, deferring to her decisions without much protest. This was a side of him that she was unfamiliar with, sending goosebumps to her skin and something else, lurking in her stomach. She could only nod at his demand.

Pleased with her acknowledgement, he turned away, not before adding another request.

“When we are not alone, call me by my name and nothing else.”

With that said, he disappeared in the crowd.

#alice in borderland #imawa no kuni no arisu #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #ace of hearts #fanfiction #chishiya x oc #かくこと

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your-lady-star · 4 years

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Fallen M!Corrin is Better Than Fallen F!Corrin

Bit of a hot take here for me to do, but I’ve honestly have had complications with Fallen F!Corrin for a while, and now that my baby boy has his own, I figured now is a better time than any to get into my issues with her fallen alt and why M!Corrin does it significantly better.

Now I’m not going to talk about their skills and usefulness in battle, mainly cause I don’t care about that at all, I’m going to be focusing solely on design and how well it connects to the thematic surrounding the story of Fallen Corrin. And that’s a good starting point.

I remember back when last years fallen banner was revealed and I saw a lot of people wondering why Corrin was on the banner since they never turn evil in game. I think people forget what the purpose of the fallen banner is; it’s not to show inherently evil characters, it’s to show, well, fallen heroes. Characters who’s mindsets, goals, an ethics were once just, but have been corrupted by a dark force, whether it’d be psychological or external. And, while it’s easy to forget, Corrin is fighting a psychological battle for his sanity every minute of every day.

Corrin’s dragon blood is very potent and very powerful, more so than any of the other royals, hence why he’s able to fully transform into a dragon. One downside of this is that dragons within the world of Fire Emblem are described as being inherently destructive and blood thirsty, something we clearly see with Corrin as his first transformation into a dragon had him go on a destructive rampage and attack Azura. He’s given the dragonstone for the express purpose of maintaining control of these urges and keeping his sanity in check.

The fallen version is meant to showcase what would happen if they couldn’t maintain control, whether it’d be from not getting the dragonstone in time or the dragonstone not being of much help or maybe a completely different reason; it’s designed to show what would happen if Corrin surrendered to their draconic urges and became the monstrous killing machine they dread becoming, especially with the implications that Corrin may have possibly killed Aura during the initial attack. A Corrin who is lost to destructive urges and has become a monster that cannot be stopped, that is the theme to their fallen counterparts.

And while M!Corrin does that job fantastic, F!Corrin not so much.

Now we can finally get into discussing the art for these two and how well they do at showcasing this theme.

Let’s start with their default stance.

M!Corrin has a wide stance and is slightly hunched over, akin to that of an animal, and his tail being out further plays into that. The way its wrapped out to the front of his body with the spikes facing outward not only gives his stance a bit of a defensive feel, but also threatening, as though to let other know what they’re getting themselves into by challenging him. The way his hands are tensed up to look like claws makes it very intimidating and the way his left hand is positioned in that almost “come here” gesture gives a sense that he’s daring you to try to stop his, furthered with the way his right hand is placed in that cocky arrogance fashion that FE has used before. But the most telling feature is his eyes and face. That sense of cockiness is present with the way his eyebrows are raised and the slight curve of his mouth as well as that feel of lunacy with the ways his eyes seem to be different sizes, which anyone who has ever watched anime knows is clue number one that a character is a f*cking psychopath. But the most interesting thing is the dead emptiness is his expression. As though he isn’t truly there mentally, that he’s completely surrendered to the madness and is just a vessel for his cursed bloods madness. It’s downright terrifying and incredibly intriguing all at once.

Overall, this default art is fantastic and does a great job at giving a memorable first impression and teases for whats to come. It’s one of the best artworks to come out of Heroes for not only how well it does at displaying the theme of the character, but for being able to say so much with a single image.

On the other hand...

Alright, so on an objective standpoint there isn’t anything wrong with the default art for fallen F!Corrin. It looks great, it’s nicely detailed and it’s clear that a lot of time went into it. My issue with it is how poorly it does at representing a corrupted Corrin.

I get that the idea behind her design is that she’s slowly wearing herself down trying to fight back against her dark urges, but the art doesn’t do a good job at portraying that. The only real indication of her supposed exhaustion is a single bead of sweat running down her thigh and (maybe) one on her cheek, and everything from her facial expression to the way her arms are placed to her general stance comes off looking “embarrassed” rather than “tired”. She looks less like a woman desperately battling a losing battle to maintain control over her humanity and more like a typical anime girl who was walked in on by her crush while changing. The over-beautification of F!Corrin’s design already doesn’t do much to help with that (but that’s a discussion I’ll save for another day). Even the tail, one of the most striking features on fallen M!Corrin’s design, doesn’t have the same presence. It being mostly behind her not only loses that sense of defense and intimidation, but it causes the tail to blend into her and become less noticeable. I’m not even joking when I say that I didn’t even notice that she had a tail until the third time I saw this art.

Like I said, the art isn’t bad, it just doesn’t do the core theme justice. Rather than looking worn down, she looks slightly perturbed at best. Rather than looking menacing, she looks meek. And rather than fitting into a banner themed around great heroes falling into darkness, this feels like something that would fit in more in a summer or Easter banner (which is extremely ironic considering what I’ll get into later). It’s a build up for a set of art that’s supposed to make me feel sorry for her, but only accomplishes in making me think of how much she looks like me when I’m waiting for my brothers to hurry up in the bathroom.

Once more the dynamic weight and posing in the artwork shines brilliantly in his neutral attack pose. Lunging forward keeps in with the animalistic nature along with his hands once more tensed like claws, one reeling back to get ready to strike. With the way his cape and tail, curled almost like a snake or scorpion, flow behind him create a real feeling of movement and his expression dark but subdued, it makes for this real intense energy coming from his as he lunges for his prey. My favorite aspect being how the shadows form on his face, hiding it just enough to conceal his murderous intent while still allowing the harsh red of his eyes to shine prominently. And while there isn’t any discernible difference in his hair, the way it’s wrapped around his face and flowing to his movement give that much needed edge to his glare. And with the dark purple miasma flowing and highlighting points of interest, it makes for a truly great piece.

This isn’t really a problem that’s singular to fallen F!Corrin, as IS does struggle to give dragon units unique attack art that doesn’t just have the character either standing still or slightly curved with their arms either out at their sides or holding whatever stone they use to transform. So I can appreciate that they tried to do something different with her attack art. But, again, the problem is how it doesn’t fit with what they’re trying to represent.

Her expression is that of either mild annoyance or boredom, giving no indication that she’s in pain from having to fight. There’s no real tensity in any part of her body, having more of a grace and fluidity that is commonly used on dancer units. Her tail is more visible, but nothing is really being done with it. It’s not extenuating anything or highlighting a part of her body, it’s just curled on her legs. And any sense of intimidation is lost because the most threatening part of the tail, the spikes, are no longer in the foreground. Sense of movement is also an issue here. The way her cape and hair are framed makes it feel like she just jumped off of something and is having a rough landing and there’s no feeling for how she moved to attack, no ferocity in her actions. Again, it’s akin to more of a dancer than a feral dragon.

And this is small nitpick I have, but it really bugs me. I don’t like how the purple miasma for F!Corrin is lighter than M!Corrin’s. It might seem like a minuscule thing to be worried about, but the darker tone on his gives a real feel of dread and despair. The lighter tones are hers don’t stand out as much and don’t give any real negative emotion to her state. Yeah, she’s supposed to be fighting to maintain control, but having them be darker would help to represent that desperation and hopelessness. You can still have lighter hues, but they need to work in tandem to the darker colors.

Because when you do, you get beauty like this.

Just look at this masterpiece. The lighter purple flames mixing well with the darker flames, coming together in the center like a twisted mockery of where the dragonstone would be in any other art, curling around his body like a charging beast quickly closing in on you. His eyes glowing an ethereal mix of his natural red and the miasma around him, giving them a horrific shine that stand out a mile away and full of pure demented blood lust. And his mouth; wide open, fangs bearing in a horrific grimace, ready to sink into whatever stands in his way.

I don’t usually throw this term around, but I don’t hesitate to use it here: this art is flawless.

This art, however, I can’t attach flawless to. The mix of purple and dark pink and the lighting it casts does look really good, but it’s an intense mix to a subdued reaction. Her eyes don’t look anymore ferocious than they do on any of her other alts and there’s no glow to them to make her look like her darker urges are beginning to influence her. The clawed hand could be a cool feature, but it’s hard to see since it’s being blocked out by all the pink! I actually didn’t even notice that her hand was clawed until I looked up her artwork for this post! Such a distinguished feature shouldn’t be this hard to notice. Not to mention, even if the claw was more visible, it doesn’t hold the same level of intimidation as her male counterpart due to how thin and spindly her arms and hand are. This feels like a slight upgrade to her original forms special art and is extremely disappointing.

After the Adrift banner, I am pleased to see a M!Corrin alt where his damaged art doesn’t tear his clothes off. But even with the minimal physical damage, you can’t deny how good this looks.

The rips on his left hand give it a jagged look that nicely compliments how tense his hand is.His right is clawed and raised, poised to attack and surrounded by the miasma in a way that highlights it without overshadowing it. His tail raised and thrashing about in a fit of rage, further complimented by his crouched over stance and, of course, his face. Corrin’s facial expressions across each form of his fallen counterpart has been his best feature, and this is easily the best of the four. That look of pure, unadulterated, unrelenting rage is so disturbing and amazing at the same time. Damage art in Heroes typically has the character looking shocked, sad, perturbed, or not phased by it. This is the only damage art I can think of where the character is f*cking pissed. That is a look that screams “I”m going to f*cking annihilate you for doing that” and it’s utterly glorious.

Oh boy, this art.

Nearly everything I praised about M!Corrin’s damage art is the exact opposite for the female.

The stance is very generic and holds no emotion other than “Ow, I’m hurt”. Her facial expression doesn’t register pain at all, looking more like she’s inconvenienced because someone splashed water on her. Her tail, despite being very dominant, is just sitting there with no fluidity. Physical damage is far greater here, but all it does is distract the viewer who is too busy getting off to her exposed legs and thighs! And whether it'd be because of shaky perspective or shoddy work, but her hands and arms are distractedly small and thin. It looks like her arms would shatter if she pushed someone too hard.

This is my lease favorite of her arts entirely because it exemplifies the main problem with fallen F!Corrin’s design and why M!Corrin did it better.

It focuses more on making Corrin look cute rather than having her actually represent the theme she’s supposed to be.

The titles for the two Corrin’s are Bloodbound Beast and Wailing Soul. M!Corrin perfectly embodies his title while F!Corrin struggles to just barely hint at. Both of them are meant to show a pure hearted and noble individual being corrupted by the very blood coursing through their veins, yet only one of them is really putting in any effort to properly represent this. And while I can’t give any concrete evidence of this, I feel like the main thing that kept the female variant from properly doing the job was because they got the wrong person to draw her.

And look, I don’t have anything against Sencha, fallen F!Corrin’s artist; they’re extremely talented. But looking at their record for art in Heroes can tell you that they weren’t the right one for this. This is the same person who did the summer and adrift art for F!Corrin (they also did bridal Tharja, but that’s not related here), and both of them have a distinctive style to them. They’re graceful, beautiful, serene, cheerful. Sencha is very good at drawing Corrin very pleasant and lovely. However, Sencha clearly isn’t that good at drawing Corrin miserable and withered. And that’s understandable. Making someone completely shift the genre they’re used to is a serous challenge and it’d be no surprise if they can’t handle it. So, despite my claim that they got the wrong artist for her, I don’t blame Sencha for not doing as well.

Then again, I doubt that this wasn’t a challenge for Argon, fallen M!Corrin’s artist. Their Heroes portfolio consists of mostly seasonal alts for various male characters, though they also did Cormag, which shows that they do more dynamic posing and harsher color saturation. If anything, the fact that they did such a phenomenal job on Corrin shows they got some serious skill at drawing more demented characters. Hopefully they get to do this more often, I need to see more of their work like this.

So, at the end of this long diatribe, I’ll once again reiterate that I don’t dislike fallen F!Corrin for any personal bias towards the male version or because the art is objectively bad. It’s a nicely done art, but one that doesn't suit what the character is to represent. And the fact that fallen M!Corrin utterly blew it out the water in his artwork really made it worse for her.

... Was this all just on big excuse for me to gush about fallen M!Corrin’s artwork?

Maybe.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got orbs to hoard.

#fire emblem heroes #fire emblem fates #corrin #fe corrin #m!corrin #f!corrin #character design #design critic #this banner sold me in the first two seconds #i think you can see why

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hello-nichya-here · 3 years

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Fire Foursome Headcanons Part 2

Here are some more Fire Foursome headcanons if you like. And if you think they are good enough can you please leave a comment under my Fire Foursome AO3 page while also putting them on your AOE Fire Foursome page? Thanks!

KEY POINT: The headcanons in this assume an Azula who has gotten the help she has needed, make amends with everyone, and rekindled her friendship with her old friends and Zuko before Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee initiated Azula into their "arrangement."

Q: Which member of the fire foursome is the most likely to be a pain slut?

Answer: Mai; for she is a thrill seeker and she loves nothing more than finding things that make her feel alive. And nothing does that better than driving her lovers so mad with lust that they lose control and hurt her. She loves it when Zuko is taking her from behind and starts pounding her like she is his inanimate fuck doll. She loves it when Ty Lee picks her up, pushes her against a wall, and forcibly grinds their pussies together. And she loves it when Azula is tired of Mai’s edge play and flips Mai on her back, jerks Mai’s legs behind her head, and starts tribbing. However, by hurt she means just bumps and bruises that quickly heal and don’t affect her the next day and not actual injuries. For there are few things that Mai, and really all of The Foursome, hate than being bed ridden and out of commission. And to the rest of the Foursome’s credit, they haven’t hurt Mai despite Mai sometimes losing control and asking them to really hurt her. Not that they would ever hurt, or anyone in the group, ever (again).

Q: Who would like being choked the most, if at all, in the foursome?

General Answer: Tie between Azula and Mai.

Answer (Mai): For the reasons stated in the above question.

Answer (Azula): Azula is a dominant woman in her professional and personal life and likes it when her lovers have had enough of her brattiness and put her in her place. For even if Azula has changed a lot, she is still a brat at times, though the other members of the Fire Foursome find it cute and endearing since Azula isn’t over possessive, domineering, or manipulative like she was when she was younger. That and they realize that for all the airs that Azula puts on, Azula is a socially incompetent fuck up (though with much better emotional stability and maturity) without that much life experience and so they cut her some slack. Also, it is one of the few times Azula can “sit back” and not have to think. Besides, even if they said they have forgiven her, Azula isn’t too sure and so likes to give them an outlet whenever they are frustrated with her, or in general, rather than letting their frustrations build up and have it end in them abandoning leaving her again due to her abusive treatment of them and being an evil jackass in general. This is because Azula isn’t so sure she could survive that again, especially since they have become a lot closer than they were as kids. However, the rest of The Foursome remind Azula that as long as Azula remains a good person, a good partner, and continues her treatments, they’ll never leave her again. Not to mention, as they often point out, Azula works hard in order to not relapse so Azula has nothing to worry about.

Q: Who in the Fire Foursome likes hair pulling?

Answer: All of them. They like having their hair pulled when they are being taken from behind and the giver is asserting their dominance. They like having their hair pulled when they fucking each other face to face and the reciever wants the giver up close when either of them are close to orgamsing in order to heighten the emotional connection. They love it when they are engaging in oral sex and either the receiver, or someone who isn’t involved, violently grabs their hair in attempt to make them tongue their wetness completely or in Zuko’s case, completely throat his cock. They love it when, at the end of a lovemaking session, they get affectionate pats or rubs on the head. For The Fire Nation, and the Fire Nation nobility/royalty, always had a big emphasis on the importance of hair and how it represents your status and honor. And so every time they mess with each other’s hair, it is like they are giving a fuck you to the culture standards that led to their fucked up upbringings. That and the fact that they all have nice, soft, and long hair that is nice to touch or hold. In fact, one of the ways they bond with each other outside of the bedroom is brushing and washing each other’s hair before helping each other put it into their preferred hair style.

Q: Which girl is the most likely to go out of her way to learn a new sex act / improve at it to place the other members of the harem?

Answer: Could the correct answer be anyone other than Azula? Just like she has an analytical, eclectic approach to bending, combat, and statecraft, she has similar views in regards to the bedroom. And to make things worse, Azula is acutely aware that she has no prior romantic or sexual experience compared to her brother (who had a date with Jin, dated Mai on and off since they were teens, and has been with Ty Lee for a while), Mai (been with Zuko on and off since they were teens, dated Kei Lo, and been with Ty Lee for a while), and Ty Lee (who has experience from her time in the circus and The Kyoshi Warriors and has been with Mai and Zuko for a while). She knows that they don’t hold her lack of experience against her and have even told her that they find it hot since they get to mold her to their liking. But Azula can’t help but feel inadequate, especially when there is a nagging voice that sounds awfully like her father telling her that fit, attractive women with pale skin, dark hair, and golden eyes are a dime a dozen in the Fire Nation and once the rest of the Fire Foursome has had their fill of her they will discard her. Especially since they easily can find women like her without the complicated past she shares with them or mental illness(es) she has. Thus Azula scoures for the latest sex scrolls and constantly asks her bro and friends for pointers that they happily give her. However, thanks to her therapy, instead of turning her desire to be the best into a misguided attempt to secure their loyalty for all of time and/or into a (ugly) competition, she returns the help she is given and constantly gives her bro and friends summaries of the scrolls she reads in the form of bi-weekly black ribbon letters. And the result? An massive improvement in Zuko’s, Mai’s, and Ty Lee’s sex life and probably the best sex life in the five nations in the Four Foursome’s no so humble opinions.

Q: What would the girls do if the other two were too pregnant to have sex and they had to try to satisfy Zuko by themself? Maybe with the others watching them?

They would wish the non-pregnant girl good luck in trying to keep with Zuko’s insatiable sex drive before going on with their day. For even if they are heavily pregnant, it is not like they aren’t still active. For Mai is Zuko’s head advisor alongside Azula, Ty Lee is head of the palace guards (whether it be the Fire Nation branch of The Kyoshi Warriors or The Rangi Warriors depends on the verse, and Azula, in addition to advisory duties, is the head of the (official or unofficial depending on the verse) spy network made up of the former Fire Warriors. And if they are truly too pregrant to do anything, it is not like they are going to watch sex that they can’t particpate in. Not when they can be lounging in their well earned luxury while complaining to each other about the state Zuko put them in and their plans to raise their children together (or to continue to do so depending on the timeline/verse).

Q: Who is the best at riding cock, riding a strap-on, or tribbing on top?

Answer: Ty Lee. Girl is supremely talented when it comes to all physical matters and this extends to the bedroom thanks to her nigh unbeatable blend of strength, flexibility, and enthusiasm. Hence one of the reasons why a lot of Zuko’s, Mai’s, and Azula’s favorite sex positions with Ty Lee involve Ty Lee onto top of them and seeing her muscular body go to work pleasuring them while often foddling and/or sucking on her big, fat tits. And Ty Lee loves how being on top basically makes the other members of The Foursome basically worship her like the Sun Warriors worship Ran and Shaw. For even if Ty Lee is not as insecure as a kid/teen and thus doesn’t need or desire (constant) attention, she still likes it when she is the center of attention.

Q: How do the girls react to Zuko's dick being huge and/or a little too big for them?

Answer (Mai): Outwardly complaining that Zuko having a big dick has always made him cocky in the bedroom, while internally being jubilant. This is because Mai is a bit of a size queen, not that she likes admitting to anyone though the rest of the foursome quickly realized it and have lovingly teased her for it. In fact, this is one of the many reasons why she kept coming back to Zuko and eventually made it work with him. For while Mai has had one other male romantic partner, Kei Lo, part of the reason why she didn’t click with him, despite Kei Lo being a way better romantic partner on paper, is because Kei Lo is a bit lacking down there compared to his highness.

Answer (Ty Lee): Enthusiastic and grateful that her male partner is able to satisfy her the way she wants to be. This is because during her time in the circus, all of her male partners were lacking and thus she really didn’t get enjoyment from PiV. Well that and because the men were selfish fucks who didn’t care to pleasure their female partners if it wasn’t through PiV and even if they wanted to, they really didn’t know how to do so. In fact, it was this problem that caused her to experiment with women and led her to believe that she was a lesbian before Mai introduced her to Zuko, whose big dick in addition to actually knowing and caring to please his female partners made Ty Lee realize that she was a bisexual and that there was pleasure to be had fucking men as well.

Answer (Azula): It turns out that her Zuzu is a little too big for her...not that she didn’t notice at first. For the first couple of times she fucked Zuko as part of The Foursome, she was way too happy and horny to notice that Zuko was causing her some pain while doing PiV. But after a while, she started to notice that PiV was a little bit displeasurable from her end but didn’t complain considering how hard she had worked to regain her friends’ and bro’s trust and didn’t want them to think she was a burden. However, Mai and Ty Lee noticed and staged an intervention with Zuko where they asked if Zuko was a little too big for her. Azula wanted to deny it since she had been trained not to admit to “weakness.” But thanks to her therapy and personal growth, Azula pushed aside her prior conditioning and told her fellow lovers the truth while apologizing for keeping a secret and being “too weak to fully take Zuzu.” However, instead of getting upset at her, they laughed and told her that it was nothing to be ashamed about and they understood why Azula was reluctant to come forth. This is because they knew that Azula was very sexual inexperienced, that she probably had aniexty related to sex (espeically with them considering their past), and Fire Nation sex-ed was very lacking outside of the basics and contraceptive use. So Ty Lee and Mai introduced Azula to some Kegel exercises to help her relax her vaginal walls (in contrast to them using the exercise to help better clasp Zuko’s cock) and after a week or so of doing them, Azula was able to take in her (really) big bro without any displeasure and truly enjoy Zuko’s cock much to the other members’ amusement. This is because the first time Azula could take Zuko's cock without resistance, Azula had an immodest orgasm that left the normally sure-footed Azula stunned in silence for a minute straight.

Q: Which members of the fire foursome like to be tied up and/or blindfolded and how? Which members prefer to tie up others?

General Answer: Tied up and blindfolded: Azula and Ty Lee. Tie up and blindfold others: Zuko and Mai.

Answer (Ty Lee): Ty Lee is arguably the physically strongest person she knows, with only Zuko surpassing her for sure. Thus, she loves being tied up by Zuko and being “taken advantage of'' by him since no one else can really overpower her and make her feel truly like she is dominated. And she likes being blindfolded by all of her partners since her extrasensory visual abilities are taxing at times, and so she likes to be able to relax and truly enjoy being pleasured by her partners, as well as pleasuring them, without seeing their auras as well.

Answer (Azula): She likes being tied up partially for the reasons stated in Who would like being choked the most, if at all, in the foursome? And partially because she has constantly masterbated to the thought of being tied up and forcibly taken while being pressed up against a wall ever since that muscular and strong snow peasant Sokka accosted her during the Day of Black Sun and gave her an invader kink. Preferably by Zuko, who is wearing traditional Southern Tribe armor in addition to wearing his hair in the South’s traditional style while she is wearing armor similar to the style she wore near the end of the war (Zuko had them decommissioned but once they had become lovers, he had an armor custom built for him and her so they could engage in their various armor related kinks). She also likes being blindfolded because over the course of her therapy, one thing (among others) that she found effective in treating her symptoms was limiting her sensory perception so she could relax once she was in an area, or room, with people she trusted. And even though it took a long time and a lot of struggling, she completely trusts her bro and friends again, and so likes limiting her sensory perception while in the bedroom with them so she can better enjoy being pleasured as well as better pleasure them. However, she doesn't like being restrained like she was in the asylum since it brings up a lot of traumatic memories and is liable to cause an episode. Something that Zuko, and the other girls, found out the hard way for one time when he tried restraining Azula’s arms to her side without realizing what it meant and caused a nasty episode in Azula which stopped the Foursome’s lovemaking session and forced them to comfort Azula throughout the night.

Answer (Zuko): Considering Zuko’s issues related to a lack of control, is it surprising that he would like tying up and/or blindfolding his lovers (with their consent)? Especially considering his history of tying up headstrong girls *cough*Katara*cough? For Zuko loves it when he blindfolds and ties up Ty Lee to his bed post and alternates between pleasuring her with a didlo molded using his cock and his actual cock, until she just reaches her limit. Only to deny her release and tell her she can only cum if she can correctly guess when he is using the dildo and when he is using his cock. And then hearing her struggle to guess until she is a whimpering mess begging for her Lord to relieve which, as her benevolent lord, he does. Zuko loves it when he ties up and blindfolds Azula and forcibly takes her against a wall while they both wear armor and engage in Azula’s invader kink (see Azula’s above answer for details), and eventually taking her womb like he would her “nation” by filling her up with his seed. Zuko tried getting Mai to accept being blindfolded and tied up but after a couple of times where it became obvious that she didn’t get pleasure from the act, he stopped pushing for it since he can’t get off when his partner(s) are obviously not enjoying their lovemaking. And Mai not liking being tied up and/or blindfolded makes sense considering Mai doesn’t like not having agency due to her severe lack of it during their childhood.

Answer (Mai): Mai, similar to Zuko, had a lack of agency earlier in life and likes to make up for it and nowhere does she like to assert dominance and control than in the bedroom. And there aren't that much better ways to do so than by tying up and blindfolding your lovers. For example, Mai loves to blindfold and tie up her girls and have them fuck each other and her at the same time while making sure they are wearing tight as fuck blut plugs that can only be removed once they make the other blindfolded and tied up girl, or Mai, cum. Which is hard to do since Mai is constantly moving them around and fucking them, which makes it hard for the other girls to know who they are fucking, who is close to orgasming, and if someone did cum, who came and who was responsible. This often leads the girls to become overstimulated and, after reaching their limit and thus forsaking their pride, beg their queen (when she is doming Mai makes sure the girls call her queen, especially Azula) to release their bonds and butt plugs. And Mai only listens to them after they beg for a minute or so straight. Mai tried tying up and blindfolding Zuko one time, but it triggered a nasty memory where Zuko remembered when he woke up strapped down to a bed in the palace healers’ room with a blindfold just after his Agni Kai where he wasn’t sure the extent of his wounds...or if he would even live. So Mai never tried blindfolding and/or tying him up again since she would never hurt her Zuko like that on purpose. Especially not when Mai has other ways to dom her high strung boyfriend (or husband depending on the timeline).

Q: Which fire foursome members like non-con the most? (Either on the receiving end or on the giving end)

Answer: None of the fire foursome like non-con at all and is not surprising considering the lack of agency they had for most of their childhoods. A lack of agency that was partially caused by Azula & Zuko some members of The Foursome. And since all the members of The Foursome are acutely aware of this, non-con isn’t really desired by anyone. However, they do have a lot of non-con roleplay fantasies kinks where, with the prior and consistently obtained consent of the person or people being “raped,” the person or people doing the “raping” forcibly has their way with their “victim(s)”. But, they have a strict safeword system where the moment someone utters their shared safeword (“honor”) they stop the scenario and don’t restart until the person or people who stopped enthusiastically gives consent again.

***

I am LIVING for these

#submission

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