#hiccups too. We are all so beautiful and strong and courageous

[lilblueprint]

Question...?

Got swept away in the gray

I just may like to have a conversation

Jason wants explanations. A follow-up to Midnight Rain.

Hey, doll. Can I ask you a question?

-

He watched the three little dots pulse gently on-screen for a good minute. Then,

Sure.

Where are you?

Why?

I miss you, doll. I know I messed up. But I can’t fix it until you tell me how.

I’m at the old place.

Oh.

Meet you outside.

Be there in twenty.

-

That was how he ended up sitting beside you in your favorite bar. You and Jason had snuck in once at the age of 19, and since that day, you’d both never stopped coming back. Whether it was on your own or as a pair, it had quickly become a constant in your lives. 

Tonight was like any other night, with the exception of a louder crowd. A large chunk of the bar had gathered to one side to watch the tv, watching some politicians and breaking into arguments. Every now and then, one of them would ring up more drinks. Jason made a silent note to wrap up the conversation before the mob became fully intoxicated. He turned to look at you, you weren’t paying any attention to the other patrons as you swirled your glass of tequila. 

“Hey,” he began. “Thanks for agreeing to see me.”

You nodded. He took it as a sign to continue. 

“I’m glad you’re safe, doll.” He watched the rim of the glass meet your lips. When you remained silent, he decided to risk crossing a line. Shifting in his seat, he inched closer so that your legs brushed against each other lightly. “Hey, look at me, please?”

Finally, you granted him your gaze, half-lidded eyes resting on his face. 

“You look tired.”

He couldn’t help feeling a perk of hope at your first words, he’d missed the sound of your sweet voice in his ears. 

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged it off. He took a deep breath. There would be no progress made if you kept diverting to small talk. “Listen, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I thought about what I could have possibly done wrong. It’s almost been two years, doll. People might think it’s too early, but like I told you, I already knew you were the one for me. Ever since we were–”

You cut him off with a sob. His expression crumpled as he saw your beautiful eyes fill with tears. You reached out to him, hands pressing against his covered bicep. He wondered if you wanted to stop him or steady yourself. Maybe both. 

After a few shaky breaths, you collected yourself for a few sentences. 

“That’s not right. Jason, I should be sorry. And I am. This is the most sorry I could ever be, ever. I never meant–” your voice hitched. “N-never meant for you to get hurt, Jay. I needed to be honest with you and I–”

Tears slid steadily down both your cheeks, and Jason caught them before they could fall. You choked on a whimper, trying to compose yourself enough to carry on your apology. He could feel his heart ache at the sound, and he wanted nothing more than to gather you in his arms and tell you it was going to be alright. But as of now, he needed to respect your courage. 

“--I ran away. God, I don’t know why I did that. And I-I hate myself for it. So much, Jason.”

“Oh, baby,” he breathed, his chest clenching with sympathy for you. 

“I was hurt. I worked so hard to do what I wanted to do, and now that I’m really there, people are asking me when I plan to s-top.” You hiccuped, eyes wide as your words were interrupted.

“You got this,” Jason murmured. 

“T-thanks,” you sniffled. “I wanted to make a difference for all those kids that grew up like us, because no one should ever live like that. I thought by becoming strong, being who I am today, I’d be able to help someone. Anyone. And it hurt to hear people say I wasn’t able. It felt like everyone was against me–like I was losing sight of my goal. And then you proposed–”

He wisely handed you a packet of slightly squashed tissues from his pocket. You thanked him, pulling a chain of them out of the top and blowing your nose. It was turning bright pink from all the rubbing, he noticed. He reminded himself to get you some cream for that later. 

“I know it sounds stupid. And irrelevant. But hearing you ask me to marry you–? It was like hearing it from the other side. A side we were never born on, and one I never imagined we’d be part of. But look at us now–look at you. I don’t know why I took it as such a betrayal.”

You shook your head, and Jason knew the feeling all too well. He’d lost more than a few arguments with Bruce, Dick, and even Alfred when he’d let anger and emotion overtake him. People often forgot the reasoning behind their rage when it grew too great. He knew better than anyone else that that was the case for you here. However, it didn’t take away from the fact that you’d probably been in a bad place as of late. He was at just as much fault as you were. And he was glad that he’d reached out first.

“Doll.”

“Yeah?” You snuffled. He took your face in his hands, cradling your cold, wet cheeks in warm palms. 

“I’m sorry too. I should have tried to understand, instead of just overstepping.”

“You weren’t–”

“But you got hurt.” He fixed you with an earnest look. “Sure, so was I. Rejection’s never easy. Still, I hope you know that I didn’t mean to pin you down.”

Frustration welled in your eyes. Jason noticed. 

“Shh. You don’t have to explain now. I understand. Just let me ask you something?”

You nodded. 

“Will you love me again?”

“I could never stop loving you, Jay,” you breathed, and he kissed you.

The bar broke into cheers.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd fic #angst #hurt/comfort #dc #dc comics #making up

[tryan-a-bex]

Sometimes when you fall, you fly

Read it on ao3. For @kittynannygaming and @lucienne-thee-librarian

Lucienne laid down her pen. There was something not right in the library, but darned if she could put her finger on it. She rose from her desk and commenced one of her usual patrols. As she walked her normal pattern, she glanced down each aisle. So far, all was as it should be.

“Hhiiiiiic!” The sudden loud hiccup as she rounded the final corner meant there was no way she could miss Gault, huddled at the end of the row, her face in her hands.

“Gault! Whatever is the matter?!” Lucienne exclaimed as she rushed worriedly toward the former Nightmare.

“Oh, Lucienne! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bother you!” Gault blurted on another sob.

“It’s no bother at all!” Lucienne reassured her. “You do know I’m here to help, right? It’s part of my job, as librarian.” She gently drew the distraught dream up from where she huddled, handing her a handkerchief from her pocket.

Gault wiped her tear stained face. “I’m just so embarrassed about all this! I’m one of my lord’s most experienced creations! I’m a Major Arcana, for goodness’ sake! Yet here I am, crying in the library because I have a problem and I can’t figure out how to solve it!”

“No! Don’t be embarrassed!” Lucienne looked at her tenderly over her reading glasses. “You are strong and beautiful and important, but don’t forget, you’ve only been a dream for a very short time. It’s okay to ask for some help during the adjustment period! In fact, it is always okay to ask for help, and I will always be here for you to turn to.”

Gault blushed a little at the compliment and followed willingly as Lucienne led her back to her desk. Lucienne grabbed a fresh cup from the tea service near the window, filled it, and handed it to Gault as she settled into Lucienne’s visitor’s chair.

“Okay.” Lucienne sipped from her own tea cup, left by her papers on the desk. It was a good thing she enjoyed cold tea. “Tell me everything.”

Gault sniffed once more and took a sip of honeyed tea. 

“Oh, Lucienne! You’ve made it so sweet!”

“Is it too sweet? You’re a dream now, dear, you’re allowed some sweetness in your life!”

“I guess…I guess I like it like this, then.” Gault sipped again, then put her cup down to begin her story.

“Dreams, as you know, … dreams and nightmares are intended to help people change their narrative. We show them their fears and wants so they can face them and become truer to themselves.” She paused for a sip of tea as Lucienne nodded along. “I had been a nightmare for so long. I was used to changing my shape and scaring people from the status quo into something new. Now I find myself having to entice them instead. It’s… very different! I’ve had some good successes, and some mediocre ones, but this. This one has just been a failure!” She rubbed her face with her hands as Lucienne waited patiently for her to continue. ”I thought perhaps I could find help in the library, a clue as to how to go about it, in the record of another similar dreamer. But there are just so many books! And I’m not familiar with the stories of good dreams at all!”

“Well, you have found help in the library,” Lucienne told her warmly, laying her hand over Gault’s on the desk. “Can you tell me a bit more about the dreamer, so I know where to start looking?”

Gault sighed and her shoulders relaxed a bit. She turned her hand and took hold of Lucienne’s properly, as if for courage. 

“This dreamer, you see, is non-binary. They’ve been using a gender neutral online name forever, but they are hesitant to see the internal truth that expresses about them. They know ‘the kids’ are picking all kinds of genders these days, and they’re happy for them! But they haven’t realized yet that they are also allowed to ‘choose’ their gender—they feel stuck with what they were ‘born with.’” Gault sighed again and took another sip of tea. “I thought I’d shape-change into the form they desire to be, and they would see it and realize it was accessible to them as well! But instead, they interpreted their desire for that form as attraction, and Lucienne, they kissed me!”

“How did you feel about that, Gault?” Lucienne asked compassionately.

“It took me by surprise! I wasn’t expecting it! I never intended… I’m not that kind of dream!” Gault finished helplessly.

“It’s okay.” Lucienne rubbed the back of Gault’s hand with her thumb, and Gault’s grip on her tightened. “I know just where to look. First, how to tone dreams so dreamers don’t get the wrong idea. Then, how to help dreamers tell the difference between wanting someone, and wanting to be someone—it’s a far more common problem than you’d expect! Finally, we can look in the gender change section and see if there are any other good tips for shape-changers working on that type of transformation.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! You are such a good friend!” Gault exclaimed, then looked down at the desk, as if she was worried she’d been too bold by claiming Lucienne’s friendship.

“Of course we are friends, my dear!” Lucienne responded, standing and leading Gault by the hand, up and toward the stacks. “Though this is the same help I would give anyone in your position, including the honey tea.” She looked down at their still joined hands and commented offhandedly, “though not the hand-holding. That’s usually rather more metaphorical.”

Gault beamed at her through the tear stains on her cheeks and boldly asked, “Maybe you’d like to go for a picnic with me, after we are finished here?”

“I would love that!”

“Boss! Hey boss! You won’t believe what I just saw!”

“Matthew.” Dream looked up from his sculpting, wondering what would have prompted his raven to interrupt him at his work. “What have you seen?”

“It was Gault, with Lucienne! They were flying! Over Fiddler’s Green! I mean, Gault was flying and she had her arms all wrapped around Lucienne, it was weird! And they both looked ecstatic! What is going on?”

“Ah,” said their Master. “I expect Lucienne finally told Gault how much she misses flying.”

“But what if they…. They can’t…. Can they?” Matthew didn’t quite know what he was asking, but he was sure the whole Dreaming would be turned inside out if Lucienne started dating someone. She was the steady, stable, responsible one! They couldn’t be having her having romantic dramatics!

Dream smiled slightly at his flustered raven. “Don’t worry, Matthew. I will take care of it.”

“Lucienne!” Lucienne looked up, only slightly startled by the sudden intrusion of her Master’s voice into her work.

“Yes, my Lord?”

“Matthew told me he saw you and Gault flying over Fiddler’s Green this afternoon.”

Lucienne blushed but continued to look him in the eye. “Yes, my Lord.”

“Good. I approve. I made you these.” He handed her a little black scrap which, when she took it in her hands, turned out to be a pair of raven wings about the size of her palms.

“You can…” he gestured at her back. Wonderingly, she reached the wings over her shoulder, and gasped as they attached to her shoulder blades and grew to full size. 

“Oh, my Lord! These are wonderful!” she exclaimed.

“Yes. Well. I thought you might like to fly with Gault more often. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it sooner.”

“Oh, not at all! So, you don’t mind, if Gault and  I…?”

“I trust it will not interfere with your duties.”

“Of course not!” (Lucienne was, after all, an adult, who could carry on a relationship without it interfering with her duties and the weather, unlike some anthropomorphized concepts standing in front of her.)

“Good.”

After that, the residents of the Dreaming became accustomed to the sight of Lucienne with her head in Gault’s lap, under the tree in Fiddler’s Green.

Note: The title quote is by Neil Gaiman, from The Sandman vol 6, Fables and Reflections. 

In my head this is a Queer Platonic Relationship with cuddling and hand-holding. They are zucchinis because I love them.

Next

#lucienne the librarian #gault #lucienne #the sandman #dream of the endless #matthew the raven #gaulcienne #gaultienne #gault x lucienne #lucienne x gault #queer platonic relationship #zucchini #tryana find it back

[pvrpleblccd]

As the world caves in.

syposis : It was now or never. This was his only chance, never will he have another chance like this.

pairing : dreamwastaken x f.reader

tw : angst, sad, tradegy, death, mentions of death/suicide, mc going through a very rough time

~

ᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴄᴀᴠᴇs ɪɴ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴍᴀʟᴛᴇs

I fell on my knees, looking at my family laying on the floor, white foam and another odd colour of a substance coming out of their mouths. My hand started to tremble as I reached out for my little siblings hand. It was cold. I couldn't help, but sob. Looking at their faces made me weak, it was pale, way too pale and far from its original tone. Their expressions will be one that will be engraved with me, they looked somehow peaceful, if it wasn't for the foam, we could mistaken for them to be asleep.

I put my palm on their cheeks, taking in their features for the last time, they're so young, way too young. They barely lived. There's so much ahead of them. They were looking forward to their lives, I was supposed to watch them grow up and see them graduate. Watch them enjoy their lives and, maybe, them eventually becoming parents.

My head suddenly turned to my parents, I looked at their faces and both of them held a small smile with dried tears clearly noticeable on their faces. My eyes glanced down on their hands, they were hold each other's hands, with their wedding rings on. Another sob came out of my mouth and hoped that they were able to move on with their next life. I felt a tiny happy feeling inside of me, my parents were divorced and they separated, but seeing them like this.. It made me feel.. somehow happy.

My tears were never ending. They kept on falling as I let out a scream. It hurt. My family is gone, without me, and soon I too will be gone. But I did not wanted to go, not yet.. Not alone. I got up and grabbed a blanket, placing it over my family. I noticed one of our gardening flowers in the living room, it was withering, but I took it and placed it on top of the blanket.

"Thank you.. For everything. I hope you were able to move on. I love you all... May we meet again."

A hiccup escaped my mouth, I quickly wiped my tears even though they kept on coming. My eyes went to the TV, the timer kept on going down and flashing, reminding me the time I had left to live the life I couldn't live at its fullest. I clenched my jaw and threw the closest thing to me on it, which was a family frame and made my way to the front door, locking it, out of habit and looked at my house I've lived it for the past 18 years.

All the good and bad memories flashing in my head, finally arriving to the conclusion even if I mostly had downs, I've enjoyed many moments of it. I was still glad to be able to live, experiencing things, even though I would have experienced more. Then the feeling of regret came to me, I shouldn't have wasted the time and moments I locked myself up in my room.

"Goodbye... My memory box."

With that, I made my way to the usual hangout of my friends and I. There was one more thing I wanted to say to someone first. The thought of them gone came across my head and my walking became jogging then running. The people in the streets were wildly insane. Some celebrating, some were trying to loot places before entering their bunkers, some were making out, some were crying. There were too many things happening, it terrified me. The sirens started to go and a mix of screaming, cheering and crying could be heard.

"I don't have much time... I need to see him... Its- AHH!"

The sound of guns could be heard, people started to shoot each other and a bunch of troubled people descended their vehicles and screamed 'We're all going to die soon, give up your life already'. That sentence caused a havoc amongst the people, bodies started to flop on the ground and blood spattered everywhere, this made me run faster. I stop dead in my tracks as I came face to face with the silent guy in my physics class who I would always bring his favourite chocolate chips cookie. My hands immediately went up as soon as I saw the crossbow he was holding.

“Nerd.”

Every step he took, made me insides hurt me even more. I would always try to cheer him up or make him smile or even get to open up, in the end I would always be the one ending up talking about how much of a wuss I am when I would always fail to get along with him again. He came up to me, his long pink hair swaying by his side, I closed my eyes and waited for the agonizing pain, but it never came, instead, I was engulfed in a warm hug. My eyes shot wide open as I returned the hug and squeezed the man.

“Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me. You made me feel things that a normal teenager should feel. What do they call it? Fireflies? No, I think it was butterflies. But too bad, it’s time to say goodbye now. I do admit, I will miss your rants.”

“Techno-“

“Dave, now go. Go to him.”

“Dave… thank you.”

I felt him give a small peck on my cheek before he turns away gracefully, I fully took note of what he was wearing, it was beautiful. He was dressed as if he was a king or even a god, his red cape flowing through the wind perfectly. I smiled and continued my course. After making turns, I finally arrived to the hangout spot, my running turned into jogging then walking, then I finally stopped, seeing his tall figure and his signature long brown coat and beanie.

"Wil-"

There he was. Comforting her, whispering things in her ear. The both of them were sitting on the bench we made, so the whole gang could fit in it. She looked up to him, her tears still falling down. I saw him lean in and she did the same thing. My breathing stopped. My head and thoughts went numb. Both of their eyes closing, lips about to touch. Before I could see the action happen, I was turned around, my face making contact with a torso and my body embraced in a hug. My sobs were silenced by the loud sirens. It hurts. He knew I liked him, he knew and now he's there kissing Niki.

My best friend.

I confessed to him, only to have him tell me he wanted space to think. Niki knew I liked him as well, hell she was the one who helped me gather my courage to go confess to him. Was I that oblivious to not notice the sudden change in Wilbur's behaviour whenever he saw Niki close or the way he talked, always harsh to me, but always soft to Niki? And the look he held in his eyes when I'm with him, nothing but boredom and annoyance and when Niki showed up, his eyes would light up and smile immediately. He would always find a way to finis the conversation quickly so that he can go talk with her.

I was blinded by what I thought was love.

"Let it out.. Let it all out y/n."

I recognized who it was just by the sound of his voice. Clay. I hugged him tighter, before my knees gave up, the both of us ending up on the ground. Never once Clay let me go. His arms were around me in a protective manner, his hand caressing my back and felt him humming something, head still on his chest.

Clay.

The one who was always been there for me when I was at my lowest and needed someone. The one who always took me out of my cave of a room when I was sad. The one who would stay up all night to play games with me. The one who helped me the most when my older sibling died. The one who would encourage me to go hang out with Nick, George and him when the others were having a chill hangout when I wasn't invited. The one who always cheered me up when I was gloomy and unwell. The one who always visited me whenever I missed a day in school.

He was the one who truly cared about my health.

The only one who truly cared about me.

I looked up to him, taking in all his features for the first time. His freckles sprayed perfectly on his face, his blonde hair was displayed in a messy way, they were wavy, reminded me of Wilbur's. His eyes were closed, eyelashes long as ever, lips looking plum and nose looking boopable. He wore a simple outfit, jeans with black converse and his signature lime green hoodie with a smiley face of it. The small breeze made his hair slightly move to the wind and made his eyes open. Those beautiful emerald green eyes.

Oh, they were the prettiest colour I've ever seen. Just looking at them, I got lost in them. They would always gave me a sort of warm and welcoming feeling. How could've I not looked at him like this before? Never once I fully took in his features. Clay, is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Why was I always focused on Wilbur?

When the one who truly cared for me, was always by my side?

A wave of guilt hit me, my vision becoming blurry ones again, Clay must've felt my shaking and heard my sobs once again. He looked down to me, eyes meeting each other's and a soft smile came across is beautiful face. I was no longer held in a hug, but his hands made contact with my cheeks, cupping them. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and put his forehead on mine. I found it selfish that I enjoyed this, Clay was always there for me and I wasn't able to pay his kindness.

"Clay... Why? You were always there for me, but.. I don't understand.. why?"

"It's you, y/n. It's always been you. I was head over heels for you, ever since I saw you for the first time. As we grew closer, I fell even more for you. Y/n, you're a wonderful woman, you're fucking gorgeous and you're amazing. Wilbur's a fucking asshole for not accepting you, the man fucked up and seeing you losing your smile.. It broke me. It fucking broke me. I didn't want you to lose that precious smile. You're an amazing person and you deserve the world, I.. I couldn't give you all of the things you deserve.

You went through so much and it always broke me seeing you unwell and unstable. I don't know how you do it... You're so fucking strong. After all that.. You still managed to keep a smile and be an optimist. I know that happy persona is nothing but a front, I know, trust me. — he paused for a moment, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear — Darling, you have no idea how lucky and happy I am to be able to see the real you. Every moment I spent with you, were the best moments in my life, Y/n."

I took in all of his words and played them in my head several times. I felt his thumb caressing my cheeks and hear him sniffle. I noticed the tears rolling down his face and this made something explode in my heart. I never saw Clay cry. Never once this man showed any sign of sadness or whatsoever before. Taking in on the fact that he was always on the one sided love destroyed me. He was making sure I was doing okay even though it meant to destroy him.

My thoughts were fighting against each other. All of the moments I have spent with Clay played in my head all over again. Remembering all of the times he would make me blush, because we would compliment me. The times were we would tease each other. The times were we would both pretend to be lovers just to be able to get 'couple discounts' and 'couple contests'. The moments I truly felt happy. And finally... The moment he would always make my heart skip a beat and give me butterflies. All of the thoughts led me to one conclusion that was written everywhere, all of the signs were there, but I was too blind actually see it...

Clay was the one I truly loved.

My eyes flickered to the object in the sky, slowly but quickly approaching us. I panicked and placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked at me in the eyes, his were red due to the crying and his expression was even more hard to take in. My breathing started to quicken, I shook my head, wanting to talk with him more, figure things out, but the object in the sky was making me stressed.

"Why..?! W..Why haven't you said anything Clay..?! I... Why only now??"

He looked up seeing the nukes coming closer and clenched his jaw. He once again faced me and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes immediately closed, suddenly forgetting about everything happening around us. Never wanting for this moment to end. When he pulled away, he pulled me back to reality. The sounds of the nukes coming was getting louder and louder. The lights started to blind my view.

"Clay.. Clay! N..No.. We can talk about this... I.. We can fix this... We can..."

Clay engulfed me in a hug, caressing me, trying to calm my horrified self. I clung onto the man whom I've realized, was the one. My cries were loud, I felt drops of water on my shoulder. He too was crying. Kissing my forehead on last time, he smile at me saying his final words.

"In another life... Maybe, it will be meant to be."

I looked at him for the last time, accepting my fate and gave him a genuine smile, for the first time.

"I love you."

unedited

published : June 20 2021, 4:40 am

modified : August 25 2021, 12:25pm

#dsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp dream #dwt #dreamwastaken #dsmp au #sad just pure sadness #technoblade #wilbur soot #nihachu #dream team #dream x y/n #dream x fem!reader #dwt x reader #dsmp x reader #dsmp x y/n #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #death mention tw #tragedy #angst #reblog is appreciated

[aquamoonchaii]

CHEERS TO US >> JUYEON

⍣ genre: fluff; slice of life; comfort!au

⍣ warnings: none

⍣ pairing: juyeon x reader

⍣ word count: 2.7k

⍣ collab: This is for the collab Summer Love - The Boyz from lovie @bangchan-fairy

⍣ charlie’s notes: juyeon is here! i did a comfort au so you guys can read it to feel better always uwu, this lovely banner was made by the precious @halliney

⍣ summary: juyeon needs to talk to someone, you appear with a glass of wine ready to make his life a little better.

This was his second night in this bar, he would never have expected himself to be alone in a small town drinking beer with snacks on a friday night. But he was desperate and he had to do something, his mind needed to relax.

He has a beer in his hand as he smiles back at the pretty ladies that pass by his table and look at him with desire and interest. JuYeon likes the attention but turns down any invitation to go to another table or even to hotel rooms, he already has a target and is not interested in anyone else.

At least tonight.

Because his target is special, he wouldn't be able to talk about this to the other girls.

Usually summer vacations are all about relaxing after the hard work of a whole year, thinking about all the goals he has reached and the new goals he wants to set for himself. But not this time, he gulps down all the beer and sighs.

JuYeon feels trapped in some kind of existential crisis thinking about if what he is doing is correct and if his life is turning out the way he wanted. Usual stuff that makes young people think a lot.

He is just here waiting for the girl that said would be here around the same time as yesterday, where she literally just came to take care of a drunk friend who was heartbroken. He wasn’t heartbroken but her words certainly had some healing effect on him and he seemed really anxious to talk to her or...

...to anyone really. He is used to being the one who is reliable and the man all his friends go to have some type of advice or comforting words. And being him the friend in need? Hell no.

The irony on him not being able to ask for help or even having the strenght to let out all his weak thoughts is stupid and makes him smile bitterly against his beer. He wonders what the hell he is actually doing here, maybe he is desperate for some comforting words coming from a wise stranger.

“Are you really drowning in alcohol for a woman that cheated on you, idiot?” It was late and the only thing he could hear was the voice of the girl that just entered the bar, she waved at the bartender and he finally noticed the loud sobbing of the wasted man that was two tables apart from him, his whining was part of the whole mood of the bar so JuYeon didn’t even pay attention to the scandal, his own problems were loud enough in his head. He turned his attention to them when the crazy wasted man hiccups and finally shuts up, not even the bartender or the other drunken friends of his could do it. The scene was pretty unforgettable: a tall strong drunk man that was pretty aggressive when someone asked him to lower his voice while sitting down holding a glass of vodka is now hugging the waist of the woman that just called him an idiot. But your next words made his mind explode, he wonders if he is as drunk as the crying guy there.

“If you want to scream, do it to let go, cheer yourself up and move on, don’t just drink and act like an asshole with people.”

Random but effective words. He expects her to mock the man there, instead she hugs him back and pets his hair and talks with a gentle voice but it also sounded strong. JuYeon found her words weird and comforting even if they weren't directed to him or even to anyone to hear he was just close to them and it was pretty late so there was little noise and he could eavesdrop. “Let’s go, you can cry at my house. I won’t look, I promise~ Then we will be sober, you are going to write down all your happy feelings, smile at them and that’s it. The other paper with all the bad feelings is going to be burnt and we are going to kick ass, ok?”

She didn’t make a fuss of it, the woman just petted his friend’s hair until he calmed down and probably passed out when the bartender came to her. “Y/N! You are the drunk whisperer, that was awesome! Why don’t we put him to bed, he can stay the night up in my room and you have some snacks here? I haven’t seen you in weeks!”

“I would love to have a snack from my favorite bartender but the taxi is waiting for me to let my drunk one at home, I promise I will come tomorrow at this exact time. I’ll eat like crazy I promise!”

JuYeon came here at the exact same hour.

He isn’t sure why he came because he didn’t know anyone or had planned anything really, he just hopes you read his mind and approach him to talk about your weird speech that made him feel good for no reason. Or something like that at least.

So when you appear, he notices something.

He is completely sober tonight and doesn’t know what to do to approach you. You are a pretty woman indeed but you intimidate him for some awkward reason. He feels like an idiot but it feels like you are going to read him like a book after looking him in the eyes. So JuYeon stands up and goes to the restroom to gain courage, he will do what he knows best: being a charming perfect boy.

A bit of flirting, maybe a date. That’s all he needs to have a little conversation with you.

"Jacob, can you please stop staring at the random guy? Is he that good looking? Your eyes are glued to him." You laugh as you eat the snacks your friend put on the bar for you to eat as you chat about a whole month of not seeing each other.

"Dude, this guy comes and kills all the ladies. But he is looking at your way too much, I own this place~ He wants something and I will not offer you as a tribute." Jacob follows the tall man's steps with his gaze, he stops when he sees his figure disappear in the restroom. His face is recognizable because well, he is quite handsome for the girls that asked a lot for him that came only yesterday and Jacob just said he is a regular to gain a few more female clients. Actually, he never saw him before and it's a big no for you to even look at his direction.

"Ok but stop staring and what makes you think I'll agree to something? I just want to have this awesome glass of wine as I talk to you about our Sunwoo and his broken heart." He laughs as he wipes the glasses that were recently washed. "I want to slap some sense back to him."

"He needs some time. Let's just be patient with his wailing at least this week, he needs to let it all out." There is this untold secret that only Jacob knows too: your feelings for the guy you took home drunk last night were strong and you decided to let Sunwoo go so your heart was also healing, it was a slow and silent process that was shut by a glass of bitter wine. You would always drink a glass of wine when your feelings were out of control as Sunwoo falls hard and easily and suffers too because of girls.

"Is this your last glass of wine?"

"Of the bitter one, yes. My heart and my liver are all good now, I'll take sweeter things this time." Jacob smiles and nods, he understands and pats your head. A client comes in and he excuses himself to go attend them.

"Is this seat taken?" JuYeon asks and when you look at him, he shows his biggest smile. You pat the seat next to him. "My ego usually needs an extra seat but I guess you can take it." He seems taken aback for the quick answer but he quickly smirks triumphantly and sits next to you. You've met him before but apparently he doesn't remember you.

"May I offer you a drink?"

"No, because this is my last glass of alcohol but we can share snacks as you seem lonely." JuYeon must feel like a champ because he sticks his tongue out sexily and nods, grabbing a toothpick that holds a little cube of cheese on your plate and eats it. "You don't remember me?"

"Is that a pick up line? Because I'm trying to think of one that will make you swoon."

"So you don't." You see JuYeon’s mind wandering at your smirk and trying to read something in your eyes.

It was indeed unexpected a target to flirt back or to be this mysterious because- Wait.

Holy crap.

You caress SunWoo's hair as he blacks out completely on his bed. Of course you feel bad for him, you treasure him a lot but your heart is finally at peace, you’ll be there to pick up the pieces of his oftenly broken heart but yours who used to suffer in silence is okay now. You let him go just as you kept your crush on him. In a blissful secret.

"I'll be right here for you. And I'm voicing out this because it's over and you are half-dead. I liked you so much it's crazy how I could keep it to myself. My crush on you is over and it was beautiful for me and our friendship stays strong as always." You smile at his passed out figure and make him company until his cousin appears to take care of him and calls a taxi for you. The taxi will wait for you in the convenience store as you wanted to buy some things, it’s pretty late but this small town is safe, or at least this neighborhood is.

"I'll have these cereal boxes and these snacks please."

"Is SunWoo still sad for that bad ex- girlfriend? He used to come here and buy her favorite snacks all happily until yesterday when he just bought beers with swollen eyes. We talked for a bit as his first question was why women were so unfaithful."

"Oh really? He came crying? Oh dear, this guy… Yeah, he is a sad single person now. Hopefully, he will cheer up quickly as always. He is now half-dead so he won’t feel any pain." The old lady who attends there knows you because you hang out a lot with Sunwoo and Jacob who lives nearby too. She nods and laughs until he stares over your shoulder.

"Me! Me! I want snacks too! I'm lonely, we can share them!" A man behind you makes you startle with his loud voice as you are paying your stuff, you turn around and find the cute man you saw at Jacob's bar. He is more than tipsy, his cheeks are red and he has droopy eyelids. "I heard you talk to the crybaby~ Talk to me too!"

"Young man, you are drunk. Go to your house!" The lady explains she saw him coming with luggage and he is staying at the house in front of your sad friend. He is pretty quiet and always arrives at the store early with hangovers asking for ramen, she points out he is indeed a gentleman and he must be here for summer vacations so party nights must be his thing or something.

"I'm not a young man, I'm JuYeon sweet lady. I wonder where my money went, my whole wallet disappeared just like my motivation to do stuff." He huffs and you laugh sharing one of your snacks. “Is this for me? You are so sweet, can you be my life mentor? I’ll treat you well I swear!” The store lady laughs at the cute behavior the drunk handsome man has and hushes you as she sees your taxi at the entry. “Wait! Don’t go, I’m trying to propose, drunk whisperer!”

JuYeon’s seductive mood dissipates with the beer foam in his glass. He wonders how the blackout and don’t remembering a single thing after getting drunk should have its negative side. Like this moment, he feels so embarrassed but of course, his stoic face remains the same.

“Oh God, this is so embarrassing. I can’t even pretend I don’t remember stealing your snack, can I?” You shake your head and clink your glass of wine with his glass of beer. “Well, I guess I should use my drunk self to start a conversation.”

And he did, JuYeon initially tried to start a casual little conversation to ask about you and stuff but he ended up spilling about why he is in a small town searching for some peace but apparently it’s his mind the chaotic one instead of the city and its loudness. When he started speaking about it, there’s this feeling of a really heavy load slowly leaving his shoulders and maybe he understands now the american movies that use this plot about talking about your problems with a stranger. He felt relieved, JuYeon is the kind of guy that seems impassive at everything around him and he is praised a lot because of his drive and his determination of not give a single fuck.

But he cares. He notices everything around him. And feeling like he could appear vulnerable sounds awful, just thinking about it makes him regret even approaching you. JuYeon suddenly falls silent, half studying your reactions and half awkwardly shutting up because this was too much information.

"Sometimes a lot of thoughts just turn in a big skein. It's okay to feel weird about it too." You said emphatically (or at least that's his conclusion as you don't mock or roll your eyes), he can't help but stare at you. He was right all these hours thinking about you and your words, his drunk self was right too. You can be a life mentor. The conversation ends when Jacob introduces himself and says he is going to close the bar and that if JuYeon is even trying to talk more with you, he needs to promise he will let Jacob chop his head off if he does something inappropriate.

"Date me."

“No?”

“No, why would I?” This is the fourth night of a long conversation about life and deep topics he thought no one would want to talk about, JuYeon forgot about seduction tips after the second night of just one beer and lots of good talking. He feels comfortable and his mind thinks less of his apparent poor self worth and he now feels encouraged. “If you feel happy singing and being a performer, why are you doubting?”

Good question.

He wants to date you.

It’s kind of impulsive coming from him and basically you two are already hanging out meeting in Jacob’s bar every night. He wasn’t expecting you to say no that easily, it’s shocking and honestly sexy, his ego feels slapped too.

“What?”

“Yeah, we clearly have a mental connection and yes, you are pretty attractive” You say like it's pretty obvious. "But why would I date you?"

"Because… I don't want to eat alone?"

"...and?"

"And I am kind of attracted to you and your amazing brain?"

"...and?"

"Because I feel like you are pretty as fuck and also a friend I will treasure a lot and I will probably scream because I don't know if Jacob is your friend or your boyfriend?"

"What?" You laugh at his sudden confession and at his reaction that seems pretty surprised at his own words. "Well, that kind of convinced me."

"You always make me talk, it's embarrassing and really interesting. How am I supposed to meet another person like you- Wait, I convinced you?" You nod and feel your cheeks heating up as he stares at you and laughs happily.

You can be a life mentor and he will protect you from everything. Maybe you could be a couple.

© aquamoonchaii. all rights reserved

taglist:

@halliney @bangchan-fairy @kpopsnowball @melonmochimoon @prettyjaems @soleilsuhh @haifengg @purplepsycho03

#the boyz fic #juyeon fic #juyeon fluff #juyeon scenario #summer love collab #tbz scenario #tbz fic #tbz fluff #lee juyeon

[firefly-in-darkness]

Goodbye

Characters → Y/N & Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester [mentioned]

Summary → Y/N can’t fight her feelings anymore, she has to leave.

Prompt → “I didn’t have it in me to go with grace.” [In bold]

Word Count → 1.3k

Warnings → 18+, canon typical violence, angst. no happy ending.

Beta → @writethelifeyouwant // all mistakes are my own.

A/N → This is for @negans-lucille-tblr 'roll the dice' challenge, enjoy the angst! Well, it’s been a while since I wrote about our Dean, but looks like I’ve gone straight in for the kill. Sorry, not sorry. As always, love feedback, comments and reblogs!

Masterlist

Sam understood why Y/N was packing to leave. Dean didn’t.

“You can’t leave.” Dean’s voice was stern as he stood in the doorway of the motel room, arms crossed with authority. “Please wait a few days, rest up. We can talk about this then.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to bluff her way through this, couldn’t avoid how she felt about Dean bursting out in an array of words that would leave her in more pain than ever before. Her only option was to leave. She couldn’t have this conversation, it hurt too much and it would end up the same way no matter how she worded it. She would be rejected by Dean and must leave the Winchesters.

The pain of goodbye rested heavy in her heart with each item that she packed away; the plaid shirt that Dean had accidentally shrunk - looks better on you anyways - the notebooks that Sam had given her to deal with the demons in her head, and then the polaroid of the three of them leaning against the Impala - be careful, don’t scratch Baby. It has nearly faded now, almost five years have passed since that day.

Y/N zipped up the duffel bag, tucking away her memories to gain the courage to finish her mission to leave. She gave Dean a sad smile before she squeezed by him, the doorframe rubbing against her back. His hand wrapped around her forearm, pulling her closer to him. A hug; one that was unlike the others. Her face crushed against his chest while his arms circled her shoulders.

Dean consumed her; his warmth radiating from his skin and the mixture of sandalwood and whiskey on his plaid shirt. A soft sigh escaped her lips, she relished the moment for as long as she could before the tears began to prick at her eyes.

“I can’t lose you, Y/N,” Dean muttered into her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead, his voice cracking. It was unlike anything she’d heard before. “You’re more than a friend to me.”

Y/N pulled away, “but you don’t love me.”

She left, ignoring the pain in Dean’s eyes and the call of her name. She climbed into the truck and pulled away from the parking lot without a second glance.

If Y/N had looked in the rearview mirror when she left, she would have seen Sam holding onto Dean as he thrashed to be released. All he wanted to do was jump into Baby and follow Y/N, demand that she stay. Bring her back to them. To him.

Because he did love her. He just didn’t realise how much until she left.

Emptiness. An endless echo in his heart. Beating, but aching deeply. His lungs pulled taut in his chest. A silent scream in his head, all-consuming pain in his thoughts. Adrenaline pumped erratically through his veins. He dragged Y/N away from the horror in the alleyway behind him.

Dean collapsed beside her unconscious body, one hand placed pressure on the wound at her stomach, a feeble attempt to stop the blood pouring out and saturating the concrete sidewalk. His other fingers fumbled to feel a pulse against Y/N’s wrist, her blood-stained neck. 

Her blood matted hair was pushed away from her face. Dean pulled Y/N closer and willed her to wake. He screamed out her name while his blurred vision found his brother, who frantically dialled 911.

He couldn’t lose her. Not now.

Y/N finally dared to listen to the hundreds of voicemails that Dean had left. She did the right thing in ignoring them, or so she thought. At first, she felt better to keep herself at a distance but then came the itch to check in with Sam now and then. 

She needed to let him know how she was and where she’d been, to hear where the Winchesters were headed next. To hear a little bit of how Dean was doing. Y/N knew that his brother wouldn’t keep quiet about the calls and inevitably a few days later a notification would appear to indicate she had a new voicemail.

Most of them were mumbled words or cut off seconds into the message. The others, well, they stirred the hurt and pain in her already broken heart.

‘Fucksake Y/N. I wish you’d stayed.’

‘I can’t sleep at night, knowing you’re out there on your own. Not that you can’t handle yourself. Ah, fuck.’

‘Why do you talk to Sam and not me? What did I do?’

‘Y/N - hiccup- please. I need you - hiccup - come home.’

‘I miss you. I miss you deep down in my bones.’

‘I need to tell you something. Please meet me - us. Sam can be there too if you feel uncomfortable.’

Tears cascaded down Y/N’s face as she processed every message.

She went through her plan of what she was going to say a thousand times. Over and over in her head like a record stuck on repeat. She didn’t decide until she was one hundred percent certain about the next step. The step that involved calling Sam to meet them at a local dive bar.

Y/N awoke to the smell of bleach and beeps of machines, the slumped Winchesters in the too-small plastic chairs at the bedside. Tears pricked at her eyes as she took in their worn-out states; unwashed hair and dark circles tarnishing the skin beneath their eyes. They looked worse than when they were trying to save the world.

Images of what happened flashed through Y/N’s mind; Sam researching a case, her, and Dean at a dive bar. Dean with some beautiful woman in sexy tight-fitting clothes. Of course. Y/N fleeing to the street in tears. Knowing he’d never change, that she would never be enough.

She hadn’t seen the hooded man lurking in the alleyway, not until he dragged her down it and plunged the knife -  

A scream rushed through her lips, unable to cope with the memories that reeled like a film but now stuck in a loop of cold blue eyes full of anger and hate. Dean’s hands were on Y/N’s arm to help calm her but she flinched and shuffled up the bed, unable to process the lack of danger. 

Her chest heaved with panic, eyes wide as Dean crouched low with his hands high to show that he meant no harm. Y/N’s eyes flicked to Sam as he remained seated, hands held in a similar stance.

In an instant, she was surrounded by doctors and nurses, her lungs felt like they were being filled with cement, her throat grew hoarse from the attempts to scream for her escape. A pair of strong hands, undeniably Dean’s, held her down while a white coat pulled a mask over her face. 

A sense of calm washed over Y/N, each heave of breath becoming easier, eyelids flickering closed as the Winchesters watched on in fear for one of their own.

When Dean awoke to his phone vibrating in his pocket, he looked immediately over to the bed. Y/N wasn’t there or anywhere to be found in the hospital. ‘Discharged herself’, a nurse told him. His phone vibrated a second time, a reminder of the message that was left unread. 

Y/N: I’m sorry. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace.

He’d lost her again.

Everything Tag List: @reann-loves-sebstan / @aroyaldarknessblr / @thefridgeismybestie / @kitkatd7 / @harold321

Supernatural Tag List: @deanwanddamons / @akshi8278​

#Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester Fic #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester Angst #Angst #Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural Fic #SPN Fic

[novasintheroom]

A Great Idea - Leo x Reader

          It’s a quiet sort of night in New York. Manhattan is still busy and loud, but a certain gold calm falls over the city. The distance from the metropolitan area helps too. The skyline looks beautiful from your little rented shack on Long Island, and even better on the hammock in front of it, swinging side to side with the breeze and Leo’s leg rocking it. The blanket on your laps is both to keep warm, and cover him if a nosy passerby looks a bit too close. But the day’s light is fading above, and he is safer each passing minute as shadows cover the land.

          Murmurs pass between you. Kisses. A calm that is needed – you, after a long day of college and work, and him just before he starts his patrol with his brothers. It isn’t the weekend yet; you’ll both have to wait three more days ‘til you can enjoy each other’s company without a time limit. But this is still nice. The creaking of hammock ropes against tree bark, the chill of almost-November air, a touch of smoky incense that sticks to the crook of his neck – it’s wonderful.

          It’s nice to have his arms around you. To have him near. A year of dating, of shy how-do-I-do-this’s together, of making this strange and unique relationship work. Even as he talks about Mikey’s new obsession of finding a mini El Dorado somewhere in the sewers, and what he thinks the Foot Clan are planning in Brooklyn, you’re amazed that someone like him would even consider looking your way. Someone as strong, and kind, and intelligent as him? You could never hope for better. Eyes like his shouldn’t be that blue.

          A feeling overcomes you – certainty. Want. Courage. His voice rises and falls with his next story, but you don’t hear it. And the question creeps up your throat before you can shove it back down, full of all the butterflies and wide-eyed stares in the morning when you look in the mirror and realize wow, I’m screwed: “Have you ever thought about getting married?”

          It’s quiet that echoes back. And if it wasn’t for the skip in his swinging leg, you’d have thought he didn’t hear you. The crickets chirp, fireflies blink. His thumb rubs circles on the bit of exposed skin on your hip. A hiccup of time makes you clarify, “You and me, I mean,” like it could mean anything else.

          That courage you felt shrivels with each silent second passing. You’re about to apologize, to say it was stupid, that he doesn’t have to answer, when he says, “I think about it a lot more than I should.”

          Well, that’s an interesting answer. A breeze drifts by. You use it as an excuse to press closer, to hide your heating cheeks in his side. “Than you ‘should?’ What does that mean?”

          Leo hums, tapping a finger on your arm. “I…didn’t expect to ever get that far. In my life, I mean. Always felt like something I couldn’t say out loud if I wanted it to come true.”

          You put your chin on his chest, and he smiles at the way your head bobs when you say, “Like a birthday wish?”

           He brushes the hair out of your face, taking out a stray leaf that fell in it at some point. “Something like that. I just remember all the times I’d say I found food growing up, and then have one of my brothers take it and stuff it in his mouth before I could get a bite. Or when Donnie says something’s working and then it blows up in his face. I guess I’m superstitious about good things happening; I already pushed my luck asking you out.”

           “Yeah, and look how that turned out.”

           Lips press against yours for that answer.

           But his breath fans over your face when he pulls away, and his eyes squint, head ducking. “I think about what it would be like seeing you every day instead of waiting for you to visit over the weekend. And it’d be nice to talk with you whenever…Not have to worry about you all the way out here while I’m in Manhattan.”

           “My cooking’s pretty good too. That’s Grade-A wife material if I’ve ever seen it.”

           He smiles, rolling his eyes. “I know, I’m getting a gut from eating it too much!”

           “I don’t think that’s how your biology works, but go off.” A knuckle knocks on his flat plastron. He pulls you closer with a laugh. It always feels so good to make him laugh. You’d love to keep doing it…Chin back on his chest, you search his blue, blue eyes for hesitancy, or excitement. Both are there. “I think you’d make a pretty good husband.”

           His leg twitches, and the hammock swings. “You’d make the best wife.”

           Maybe you could have said more. There was a lot to say. But the radio at Leo’s shoulder cracks to life, and Raph’s fuzzy voice asks, “Hey, you on your way back? I’m ready to knock Mikey out; he got a hold of a bag of marshmallows and is bouncing off the walls.”

           Leo groans. Muttering “how’d he find the stash,” he clicks back, “Yeah, just waiting for the train at Glen Head. You guys wanna meet me in Queens?”

           Donnie chimes in. “We can head over to Brooklyn after; look into that Foot Clan stuff.”

           “Good idea.” His hand rests on your head, playing with your hair. They say goodbye, and he looks at you. A sigh comes and goes. “Guess I better head out.”

           “Mm.” Neither of you move. It feels weird to, after everything. It’s easier to watch one another; take in these last few moments before having to part. There’s a lot to say…so much to say. But there isn’t enough time tonight for that. So, patting his arm, you swing your leg off the hammock. “C’mon, you need to head out before Donnie starts tracking you.”

           He tries to snatch you back – stay, just a little longer – but his sense of duty kicks back in, and he’s up and standing a second later. The katanas leaning on one of the trees are picked up, sheathed back onto his shell, and his hand takes yours to walk the small distance to the forest by the road.

           You’re okay to let it go for now. But then his voice asks, through the dark and fireflies, “So…are we gonna talk about it anymore?”

           His voice is so quiet and shy, you’re taken aback. “Us getting married?” At his nod, you ask, “Why? Do you not want to?”

           “No I…just really like the idea. Do you like it?” He sucks at his teeth. “I mean, you’d have to live in the sewers probably, and I can’t go places with you like other guys. Can we have kids? Do you want kids? Where would we even get married? Are you sure you want to?”

           “Leo,” you laugh, “calm down.” Before the treeline, you stop. He’s tall, but his shoulders are hunched; vulnerable. So many things haven’t gone his way in life. Feelings aren’t his forte, but the hope in his eyes is just overwhelming. This is the side of Leonardo only you get to see – walls down, hoping for good things to come. He could ask for the moon, and you’d figure out some way to give it to him – forget NASA and international laws.

           You’re so screwed.

           “Leo,” it’s a whisper, and he shivers, “If I wasn’t completely sure I love the idea of marrying you, I wouldn’t bring it up.”

           He has to take some breaths. Seems you knocked the wind out of him. A small sound escapes – a trembling kind of growl, a churr – before he catches it and clears his throat. His arm bumps yours when you laugh. “Good. Good, I…” All he can do is nod. Squeeze your hand.

           You go on your tiptoes and steal a kiss. “You need to go. We’ll talk about it. I promise.”

           It’s like he’s shaken awake. He blinks, taking a step for the trees and for the train station miles away. Before he lets go, he turns back with a smile. “We’re still on for Friday?”

           “Yup, I’ll be over around five-thirty.”

           “What about Saturday?”

           “I mean, I was planning on it? That’s what we usually do.”

           “And Sunday?”

           Hands to hips, you laughed, “Leo, I’d tell you if something came up.”

           He smiles, pulling you close. “What about the rest of our lives?”

           Oh. He’s being cheesy. The blush rising in your cheeks is hard to hide. “Oh don’t start that, you’re making it weird.”

           Still, he laughs. A final kiss goodbye, and he’s gone, shooting through the trees to catch the train to Queens. You stay there, watching the shadows before turning inside when a cold wind blows past. It’s quiet in your home, small and lonely now that Leo left. Yet, your heart feels golden, bright. Him, your husband. And you his wife.

           That sounds like a great idea.

#oof im rusty #but it felt good to write this out lol #leo x reader #leonardo x reader #tmnt x reader #reader insert #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #my writing #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader

[vhsrights]

first “i love you” / love confession - @sapphicinephile

Love Isn’t Bound by Languages - Jemily

WC: 1612

IT’S FINALLY DONE. :)

“Kiss the cook? Don’t mind if I do, but only if the pasta turns out good.” JJ made strong eye contact, hoping that Emily caught on to the weight of her words.

“Oh, well then. I guess I’ll be getting kissed tonight. Lucky me.”

The door settled into place with a soft click and JJ walked to the side, removing her coat and shoes. She had brought the ingredients for their wine and cooking night. Fresh tomatoes, herbs, and pasta rustled around in the tote bag. They had opted to make pasta that Emily had suggested, remembering her time watching the cooks in her childhood kitchen. JJ had readily agreed because she was never one to turn down food and wanted to see Emily’s prowess in cooking. Speaking of the brunette, she wasn’t visible as JJ moved slowly through the apartment.

Warm candlelight engulfed the room in front of her. The skylight windows provided an unrestricted view of the world beneath her. It was humbling in a way that Jennifer couldn’t describe. She stood high in this tiny apartment, watching the people below her bustle about their lives, unaware of her gaze. Pulling her eyes away from the outside, JJ meandered around the apartment’s living room. Her eyes slowly perused the sparse art that was on the wall. It gave the apartment an air of grace, but one that felt fake and inauthentic to the woman that she knew lived within its walls.

“Jen.” The way that her nickname sounded, full of elegance, drove more butterflies into JJ’s stomach.

“Em, hey. I got the groceries. Are you ready?”

JJ turned around and was met with Emily. The woman looked unexplainably gorgeous in her casual flannel, t-shirt, and sweats combo. JJ felt her thoughts stutter as she took in the brunette. She couldn’t move as Emily glided past her, her gait full of confidence and aimed towards the kitchen.

“Hey, Jen. You coming?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that.” JJ turned around and followed Emily while blushing.

She was glad that it had been cold outside, giving her an excuse for her tinted cheeks.

“Alrighty, so first things first. Here is your apron.” Emily pulled out an apron that had “It’s not burnt! Just Crispy!” and JJ laughed. “Hey, I thought you’d like it.”

Emily fake a pout as JJ grabbed the apron and tied it around her waist, still giggling. The cloth somehow still managed to hang loose. Emily noticed and ignored her rapidly beating heart before speaking. She hid her hands in her pockets as they fidgeted increasingly harder to keep her guise of calmness.

“I can help you tie it, Jen. Here, I got it.” Emily pushed off from the counter and circumvented the blonde.

She grabbed the string of the apron. Her hands barely brushed against JJ’s waist yet sent jolts through both of them. Not wanting to prolong their closeness for fear of her heart’s desires, Emily deftly tied the bow. Luckily, or “unluckily”, there was a second set of strings to be tied around JJ’s neck. Of course, she had picked the apron with two sets of ties. Silently reprimanding herself, Emily pushed JJ’s hair to the side. Her hands hesitated as she worked up her nerve.

Stop making this weird. The longer you wait, the more off you’ll seem to Jen. Get it together, Prentiss. Jeez, you’re like a teenager with a crush.

“Em, you okay? Can you tie it?” JJ could feel her heartbeat in her throat, trying to suppress her nerves from bubbling up.

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s done.” Emily made haste in finishing the knot and answering her, pulling away to soothe her racing heart.

She grabbed her own apron and threw it on. This one didn’t have two ties. Lucky Emily. JJ began to giggle once more as she pulled the ingredients out of her tote bag, leaving Emily confused.

“What?” She truly had no idea what JJ was giggling at.

“Did they have a sale at the punny apron store?” Emily looked at her with ample confusion. “Kiss the cook? Don’t mind if I do, but only if the pasta turns out good.” JJ made strong eye contact, hoping that Emily caught on to the weight of her words.

“Oh, well then. I guess I’ll be getting kissed tonight. Lucky me.”

Two could play at this game. The words were no different from their usual banter. However, where they were, about to cook, made it a whole other playing field. Neither woman was one to back down from a competition. The two moved easily around the kitchen, shifting past each other as if they had been doing it for years. Emily’s straightforward instructions left nothing to be desired and helped the women accomplish their dish in the perfect amount of time.

JJ may have nicked herself with the knife a couple of times, but what’s art without a few hiccups. Italian music serenaded them softly from the background. It was like a scene out of a cheesy romantic movie, one that Emily pretended to hate but secretly loved. Both women stole plentiful yearning looks at each other. They caught each other’s eyes and were quick to tear them away.

“Jen, can I get a taste of that?” Emily rested her hand softly on JJ’s hip, leaning over her side to sip the sauce.

“Sure. Here.” JJ felt the warmth of Emily’s body behind her. She had to focus to keep her hand from shaking as she lifted it for the brunette.

Emily tasted the sauce and all but moaned at its illustrious flavors. JJ was extremely thankful that the brunette was standing behind her. Her cheeks had flushed at the sound and her body froze. God, she is trying to kill me. She set the spoon to the side and turned her focus back to the food, as much as her mind would allow. They worked in perfect harmony for the rest of the time; joking, laughing, dancing, and cooking together.

Emily eventually plated the food with JJ’s help. The women marveled at their creation, eager to dig into the dishes. They high-fived before separating one final time. JJ set the table and Emily did some basic cleaning in the kitchen.

“Rossi could never,” Emily smirked mischievously as the two sat down to eat.

“Oh, of course not. We are the new Papa Pastas.” JJ encouraged the joke, thinking to their older teammate’s staunch relationship to pasta.

The food not only looked enticing, but it also tasted heavenly. Both women didn’t speak for the rest of the dinner time, enraptured by their dinner. Emily and JJ occasionally glanced over at each other, conveying their content and other emotions. Neither own wanted to acknowledge the beautiful domesticity of the moment. This was something that both women wanted to do for the rest of their lives, held back by the barrier of unspoken words. Time passed on and the women moved from the table to kitchen, easily washing and putting away dishes for a later time.

Eventually they settled on the couch, heavily poured wine glasses in hand. The evening had gone perfectly.

“Wow. That was so delicious. I think that I owe a thanks to your mother’s cooks. That recipe was perfect.” JJ sipped her wine as Emily watched her with love in her eyes.

“Absolutely. They make me remember that simpler time. My world was so small, and they helped me get through each day.” JJ beamed, noticing the ease and tranquility that had erased the lines of strain and overworking from Emily’s face.

“Speaking of world, I have a question.” Emily thought of her question and smiled.

“Go for it, Em,” JJ spoke, with her interest peaked.

“If you could shout one thing from the rooftops, in any language, and to everyone in the world, what would you say?” Emily watched the light grow in JJ’s eyes.

The blonde’s eyes widened and her mind froze. She had been learning Italian in her spare time, trying to build the courage to use with Emily. She had only needed to learn one phrase, but the rest were useful as well. Now was her shot. Waiting a short second before inhaling deeply, JJ spoke the only phrase in Italian that she fully understood.

“Sono innamorato di Emily Prentiss.”

Emily stopped. Her brain went into overdrive. Translating and retranslating the phrase, hoping that it meant what she understood it to be. I am in love with Emily Prentiss. Her heart was beating in her throat and her thoughts were hazy. She set the wine glass down and looked at JJ, really studying her. She only saw love and admiration, not finding the joke or deceit that she imagined. This was really happening.

“Sono innamorato di Jennifer Jareau.”

The words rolled off of her tongue smoothly as they had done many a time before. Except now, Jennifer would actually hear it. JJ let out the breath she had been holding. I am in love with Jennifer Jareau. It was unbelievable, but her mind began to whizz through things to say.

The only thing that came out was, “Really?”

“Yes. From the first time I spoke to you, and so much more since then.” JJ couldn’t help but smile with all of the hope and love that was bubbling out of her.

“It was the same for me. I fell for you, so hard that I guess I didn’t see you falling for me too. So, can I?” JJ pointed at Emily.

“Can you what?” Not realizing that she hadn’t taken off her apron, Emily looked down.

Kiss the Cook.

“The pasta was beyond amazing, so I have to keep my promise.” JJ giggled and Emily rapidly agreed.

Emily pulled JJ in for a kiss. Their lips met and the world stopped around them. It was the perfect end to their night.

That night, JJ and Emily truly learned that love isn’t bound by languages.

#jemily #prompts #writing #i love you confession #userjemilyology #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #cm

[hamihamstik]

idk what the fuck did i do to yeah get ready for visual cancer and my bad writing.

´´John, that's enough! ´´ claims an annoying Alexander, a 17-year-old boy who attends Columbia University, this boy had charming eyes of a blue color combined with violet and a curly hair dyed a strong brown that He could almost look red, not forgetting his beautiful freckles which were scattered all over his face. He had to admit that he was very feminine and his height and body did not help, he was very handsome among women and men although he denied it. Taking her hands off his insistent boyfriend, John, the ones that only managed to scare him.

And it was October 31 and instead of going out to party with the boys or the Schuyler sisters, he could even stay with Gil or George and Martha but no, he had decided to stay with John in his apartment, to watch movies, taking advantage of his parents and siblings are not there.

Serious mistake.

You're a coward. . .''John jokes, continuing with the pinches that distract the freckled, in his attempt to pay attention. They were watching the Japanese version of ´´The Aro´´ and the truth is that Alex was on the verge of a heart attack, he was not good at horror films, although he had a masochistic taste for these types of films.

´´John, seriously. . .Y-stop! ´´ he asks in a not so convincing way, noticing how the blond's hands begin to slip through his clothes. Alexander knows that they are alone and that they will probably do "that" to take advantage of the time together; he resists anyway.

deep down he liked that Laurens wanted more of him.

Come on, you know the end. They all die, '' he whispers in Alex's ear and although he knows he is right, his hoarse and excited voice is what disturbs him.

In less than he expects, he's already got John on top of him and he's collapsed on the bed in a struggle actually. . .not so forced. And that although he does not want to admit it, Alexander likes that rude and daring side that he rarely showed and despite that, it was ´´Jack´´ who started this type of encounter, mostly to commit indecent acts and explore the joys of sex.

´´ Why don´t you stop Lex? ´´ jokes John with a little impatience and his cock is too erect. ´´oh! I don't know, maybe it's because I have a fucking fear that a woman will appear from the TV and kill us? ´ 'Alex sarcastically responds, with a small blush peeking out of his freckled cheeks and managing to get a small laugh from both of them. Listening to Alex's melodious laugh, for John it was music to his ears, but, if he had known this was going to happen, he would have put him in one of those 80's movies, with those he hadn't had any problems the last time.

"It doesn't matter, we'll fix it," he says, smiling confidently and pulling his pants down on his embarrassed and sarcastic boyfriend. Leaving those slender and shapely legs in sight.

He didn't need his dick to lift anyway, as long as he loosened it would be fine.

´´J-jack, u-hm. . . ” Alex gasps when he feels Laurens's tongue brush against her belly button in circles, as his hands venture up his thighs, spreading them wide open. In the background you can still hear the screams of the horror movie.

Movie that they will never finish seeing.

"Do you like it?" Jack asks between gasps and his cock about to burst. He had spent minutes preparing hard the contracted entrance of his dear boy, who would not stop panting and letting out moans that made him lose what little patience he had. ´´Y-yes. . I think I'm ready," he announces to which John, instantly, unbuttons his pants. Releasing his aching erection.

´´Ngh. . . Alex´´ John moans hoarsely against his ear, at the same time that he aligned his cock in his tight entrance, without waiting any longer, the blonde enters suddenly, drawing a groan from both of them at feeling so complete. It didn't take long when he began to thrust into his ass, as the sound of the bed and their sexual release filled the room. For a moment, none of them feel the noise of the film anymore. They are both gone in that dance of sweaty bodies that invokes pleasure and to which they have become addicted without knowing how.

Until something rings.

´´What was that? ´´ asks Alexander to the busy John, who doesn´t even flinch at the loud sound. He is still very immersed in his work of going out and going into the depths of his being.

A second noise is heard.

'' John. . .´´ Alex insists, starting to get really scared. It sounded like knocks, coming from the first floor. ´´Alex, for the shit stop squeezing me ngh !. ... it must be a fucking bird crashing into the window.´´ he tries to calm him down, feeling how his member is compressed against his insides, every time the freckled body tenses.

"What if he is your father?"

The blond's face pales at the horrendous possibility.

"Shit, get dressed!" He says, completely leaving his entrance, and then running off to get their clothes. He throws Alex's clothes at his face, ordering him to stay in the room and for no reason leave there, until verifying if he is his father.

He doesn't know about their relationship, nor that Alexander is in the house. . His presence of him there would be something very annoying to explain.

(…)

The minutes pass and John does not return, Alex begins to worry.

´´John? ´´ he asks once in the kitchen, he chosen to go downstairs anyway. They had spent several minutes without knowing anything about her boyfriend and now she was really scared

He walks towards the front door. . .

It's open.

. . .

With a little chill through running her body, he quickly goes to the kitchen for something to threaten his possible aggressor. He takes a knife, but since he does not consider himself a murderer, he decides to exchange it for a large meat grinder. At least with this one he could take down the possible intruder, before escaping.

Alexander, barely breathing, creeps into the house. There is no noise in it and no sign of John. So, drawing courage from him, he does not know where, he goes outside through the backyard door, where the entrance to the shed can be seen ajar.

A stain of what appears to be blood can be seen on the door of this and causes the freckled young man to collect his heart. Then, shivering and tears streaming from his violet eyes, he enters desperately.

´´J-jack? ´´ he asks with a shaking voice and gasping for breath. He does not see the blond, because it is very dark. He advances looking for the wall switch and then. . .

Then he steps on something that made his blood run cold.

´´AHHHHHHH !! ´´ he yells when he steps on something similar to a body, then realizing that it is just a very battered scarecrow. He breathes a sigh of relief and luckily for him, he finally finds the light switch.

He turns it on.

´´AHHHHHHHHHH !!!! ´´

Alexander runs terrified of the place before what he saw. A shed full of blood-red stains and something that looked like guts scattered on the floor, but what had scared him the most was the dark cloak one that he could make out at the bottom of a corner.

It was that of a person.

. . .

Alarmed, he enters the house and without being able to reach the bathroom, in the kitchen dishwasher he begins to vomit. His body trembles and tears of deep pain fall from his eyes, as he thinks about the possibility of what he saw spread across the walls and floor. . . was his jack

-Hey, don't you think we went out of line?-

-Shut up dumb.-

-oh god, I can't anymore.-

-It was your idea, I'm just following you, asshole! -

-my idea?, it was Ben! -

-Don't blame me for his perversions, when Alex finds out he's going to hit us with that butcher's machete.-

Three young people comment on their joke while hiding in some bushes, unfortunately, precisely the ones facing the kitchen.

(…)

'' Shit, we're more than screwed. . .´´ are Benjamin's words as he sees Alexander open the bushes, revealing his hiding place. His face overcomes what is anger. His eyes are still red from crying and his serious gesture is one of complete hatred.

And he still has the machete in his hand.

"B-ben, weren't we going to the party?" Hale asks Benjamin, who nods nervously, because he knows that if they don't get out of there. . . . they will go very badly.

Alexander although he seems a weakling, but he has strength.

And a machete.

´´y-yes´´ supports him ´´ well dude. . . take care! ´´ Benjamin says goodbye, slapping John on the back, in an attempt to give him support. Although rather, it is a gesture of condolences to his sexual life.

Tonight someone was going to stay without fucking.

(…)

´´Alex,. .hey. . .´´ He tries to get closer to the redhead, taking care that the minor does not split his head.

´´NO! ´´ Alex jerks away from the arm that is trying to take him. "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU'RE A DAMNED IDIOT!" He shouts angrily, trying not to give her the satisfaction of seeing him break into tears.

Although he was already doing it.

John, like few times in his life, feels bad about the things that

he does. And he had never seen Alex like this.

Crying as if his life were lost on it, and with so much sorrow in his eyes.

This time,

He messed it up.

´´Alex, sorry. . .´´ he whispers and makes a second attempt to get closer, which this time, if it seems to work. His dear boy is so sad and hurt that he does not resist when John embraces him, pulling him close to his body. ´´ I already told you I'm sorry, I'm fine. . Come on, don't cry. . .´´ he tries to calm him down, stroking his back and giving him small kisses on his face full of small salty tears.

'I-I thought you were dead. . .I-I saw all those things and. . .´´ Alex tries to speak but only starts crying again. John, feeling like the worst beast in the world, accompanies him in bed. Laying him on his bed and settling aside to caress his face, guiltily, until he stops crying. Spreading kisses down his cheeks, which were now red as was his nose.

´´J-john no. . .'' Alex tries to stop him when he sees him approach his lips to his face, with the intention of kiss him. ´ ´I v-vomited´´ he confesses ashamed, hiccupping from crying.

´´ I don't care, it's okay. I can clean you with my tongue. . .´´ John insists, speaking flirtatiously to make him laugh again. He likes Alexander who usually laughs, who cries in this way hurts him, and more to know that it was his fault.

´´Stop your nonsense. . . . Can we sleep? ´´ asks what Laurens, trying to control her sexual / depressive urges, nods.

He would have to stay with it this time.

They both snuggle up, covering themselves well with the blankets and giving each other a couple of kisses before going to sleep.

A noise is heard again

Alexander, snuggled against Jack's chest, looks up. John, annoyed, decides to ignore the sound similar to that of a while ago.

Again he is heard again.

These idiots. . .´´ he complains, taking his cell phone to give Benjamin's life sermon. When he answers him, he receives exactly that.

-Hey idiot, are you retarded or what? Stop with your shit or seriously I'm going to kick your balls, and until they come out.

But it is not Benjamin who speaks, it is more, nobody answers. The music of the party is not heard either. Only someone's breathing can be heard in response, so terrifying it makes John hang up the phone and throw it to the ground as if on fire.

´´What's wrong? ´´ asks Alex, calmer now. Jack was a little pale. And is that John, had already heard that noise. He heard it when he stood at the entrance of the house, when he went out in search of what was generating that annoying blow, and then ended up meeting his friends and playing that stupid joke for which he now feared that the freckled man would really hate him.

"It's nothing, let's go back to sleep." He replies, trying to convince himself that it must be another stupid joke of those two. Alexander closes his eyes quietly but John cannot sleep, any noise alerts him. He has a bad feeling.

´´ What's wrong, can't you sleep? ´´ asks Alex, noticing how his Jack moves too much on the bed. . . "no. . . .i have a little insomnia" he confesses, not wanting to terrify him with the chilling thoughts of him.

Where there was still someone in his home.

´´ Me too´´ Alex mentions as he snuggles deeper into John's arms. "Do you want to fuck?" Asks the blonde, to which Alex just laughs. "Jack, don't think I forgot the joke," he replies to which John huffs, frustrated, assuming there really wouldn't be sex today.

´´ although I am surprised that they were so detailed with all that of the blood, guts and that dark suit.´´

´´What a dark suit? ´´ asks John, not remembering that in the plan.

´´the one with the disguise, the dark cape.´´

´´ There was no dark layer .´´

´´ but I saw someone at the back of the shed.´´

. . .

This is when John is more alarmed than before.

And when another noise is heard, this time they can both notice

Which is from a window on the first floor. and that this time they will not be able to see the light of a new day.

Morning news, yesterday October 31, two bodies were found on 123rd Street, because of the atrocious way in which they were murdered, they could not recognize them, however, thanks to our best police officers, we now know their names. John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton. we recommend not leaving the house while we still do not catch this man.

On tv there was an image of the murderer of that couple.

who could say that John Andre's jealousy would lead him to commit such an atrocity.

#horror #oneshot #lams #Hallowen is almost coming so #special before Hallowen ( #I apologize for visual cancer #if you've never seen such bad writing before #now the time

[bibbykins]

At-Fault Acid Rain

Who is the clown that decided to write fight drabbles for no reason? Me? Oh, damn.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it and feel free to keep sending me questions about the soft yandere boys I love them!

Word count: 2.1k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jin x Reader (Scopophilic Affection drabble)

Summary: You and Jin did not fight often, you barely disagreed on anything, except for one big thing: your family. After a tense dinner with your family, and the shedding of your tears, Jin understands he needs to change his approach.

Alternatively: all the soft yandere boys go to mush during a fight the moment their darling starts to cry

The door was nearly ripped off its hinges as Jin opened it, passively aggressively, but still chivalrous, for you to give him the side eye as you stepped through the threshold of your shared apartment, "I'm sleeping on the fucking couch."  You seethed as you kicked off the pumps you wore.

"No, baby, let me." Sarcasm dripped from his tone as he followed suit while you fiddled with the zipper on your dress, "I obviously don't do enough for you, so I'll sleep on the couch." His tone was bitter to say the least.

You scoffed as your arms reached to get the damn dress off. You just wanted to shed this night off of your body. Your lovely lover thought it would be super wise to make underhanded verbal jabs at each and every member of your family until the entire dinner was eaten in silence before everyone even got their main course. 

Needless to say, you were mortified. Regardless of how shitty your family has been to you, you did still love them. You did still see them as family, even if they just saw you as a disappointment, now a bitchy gold-digging disappointment. You and Jin had bickered the whole way home about what was and wasn't called for as well as his motives behind his very thinly veiled insults to your family. Was he standing up for you or did he genuinely look down on your family? 

And by extension, did he look down on you?

You felt him pull the zipper down as your arms returned to your side, "How can you be so goddamn stubborn sometimes?" He muttered under his breath as he leaned down to try and kiss your neck, obviously hoping for makeup sex before a fight fully breaks out. You and Jin had been pretty good about not fighting, but when it came to the topic of your family, it was difficult, to say the least.

Jin despised your family very, very strongly. He was crazy about you, and crazy in general, so he hated anyone who made you feel like anything less than the goddess you are to him. You, on the other hand, still maintain a wry smile to your family's backhanded compliments. This drove him to the brink of insanity, resulting in his much harsher quips back to your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, and especially your parents. 

Overcome with love and an unwillingness to fight in risk of relenting, Jin always tried to have sex and deal with it then. 

Keyword: tried. You marched towards the room before his mouth could make contact and extinguish the angry fire in your body, "I would love it if you didn't touch me right now." You snapped as you put on a large t-shirt, deliberately choosing one you already owned instead of one of Jin's.

Taking notice of this, Jin found his libido drop and his irritation spike. How could you not understand he was on your side?! "I would love it if you could stop being mad at me for being honest during dinner about your shitty family!" You flinched at his volume when he crossed the threshold of the bedroom while you took off your jewelry.

You laughed humorously, "Honest or not, they don't need more fucking reasons to despise me anymore!" You shot back, "The way they looked at me tonight… I couldn't even eat!" You were beyond irritated that Jin couldn't see why you were angry, "The last time they looked at me like that was when I told them I wanted to major in Theatre!"

"Well, I ate just fine and the food was delicious." Jin clipped back as you slammed the earings on the nightstand

"Unbelievable." You murmured as you grabbed a pillow and brushed past the broad-shouldered man in the doorway.

Jin scoffed as he followed you, "I don't see why you still give a damn about what they think of you!" You pursed your lips and shook your head, "You're not a kid anymore, they're opinion shouldn't matter!" He tried to reason with you.

"Of course you don't get it." Your voice dropped lower, usually a signal to Jin to reel it in, but he was far too stubborn and confident he would win this fight.

"What does that mean?!" He challenged with all of his bravado as you patted the pillow against the armrest of the couch.

You whipped your head around to scrutinize his form, still suit clad with only the tie loosened, "You have no idea what it's like to be brought up with expectations so high and miss the mark so terribly, not only do you get shit on all the damn time, you aren't even given the decency of a chance to redeem yourself!" You were hurt, and Jin began to regret his big mouth, "Your parents love you and respect you and trust your judgement." Jin's jaw clenched, "My family loves me, yeah, but because it is expected of them, and they meet their fucking expectations unlike their creative mistake from a family of accountants!" You could hardly keep track of your words, "They love me but they don't respect me, not even enough to expect anything from me anymore!"

Jin knew he should've stopped but he couldn't stand the way you looked at him, and he wanted to be right, "I earned my parents respect!" He retorted, "You…!" He trailed off, having to reevaluate the very shitty and incorrect thing he was going to say, hoping you would just drop it.

When he saw the pain flash through your widened eyes, he wanted to crumble, "I…?" You waited expectantly, "What? I didn't earn their respect?" Your voice was eerily soft and Jin knew what it meant. You were going to cry. Your tears stung him like acid, dissolving his fight within seconds. You seldom fully cried, so when you did Jin saw red at the cause, but when the cause was him, which had only happened once before this, he spent weeks apologizing. You were his everything, the last thing he ever wants is to make you feel like anything less. Jim never won any of your arguments, though he likes to think he has once, but the moment you cry the idea of winning or loosing becomes insignificant.

Jin's eyes softened as he took a very tentative step towards you, "No, baby, I didn't mean-"

You held your hand up, effectively silencing him, "No, no, you're right, what have I done to earn their respect?" You shrugged and your voice shook as Jin stepped closer to you, "I have been nothing but respectful to them even while they spit on every accomplishment I've had, and when I finally bring home a boy, he makes them feel as small as they have made me feel and…" You inhaled shakily, as Jin braced himself, "And if that's what you think of them… what on Earth do you think of me?" Your voice cracked as the dam in your tear ducts shattered and you broke down into tears and Jin's stubborn resolve dissolved with it.

He engulfed you in a hug, despite your initial fight to put as much distance as possible between you both. With his strength your efforts were fruitless physically, but affected him emotionally as he held you firmly against him until you gave up. You cried into his chest, undoubtedly getting mascara all over his very expensive dress shirt as he held you close, stroking your hair, "I think that of them because they are cowards." His tone was softer, "I think that you, on the other hand, are the most courageous and passionate person I know." 

"You're just saying that because I'm crying." You hiccuped as you gripped his shirt.

He laughed shortly, "I'll admit that I hate to see you cry, Leopard." You relaxed a bit against the nickname, "But I mean it." He kissed the top of your head, "I just get so fucking angry when I see those bastards looking down on you, like they all wanted to do fucking math for a living, like they weren't just too cowardly to follow their own fucking dream, so they channel all their self hatred onto my beautiful fianceè, who doesn't need a boy to make her look better when compared to a family full of idiots." He swayed you both back and forth as you caught your breath, "I think the world of you, fuck, you are my world." You sniffled, relaxed against his form as he swayed, "I'm sorry I was an asshole and most importantly," He cupped your face to look at you, "I'm sorry I made you think for a second that I think of you as anything less than the person I admire the most." Your eyes softened as he wiped the stray tears from your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Ugh, Jin," You groaned into his chest, "Why are you so good with words?" You sighed, leaning into his touch, "I'm sorry I freaked out, I really don't give too much of a shit what you say to them, but I'm just so used to them being the standard for perfection and so I just thought that if you think they suck, then I really must be nothing more than a pretty face to you." You shifted your gaze to the floor, uncomfortable spilling your insecurities after a fight.

"Are you kidding?!" Jin's tone demanded your attention, "I think you're a goddamn magician with the shit you can do for sets and for screen plays, your mind is fantastic and your personality lights up my life!" 

"Jin-"

"I love you so much, you are beautiful, yeah, but you're also intelligent, strong, hardworking, clever, fearless-" Jin's gushing was cut short by your lips smashing onto his in a kiss he quickly melted into. His hands went to your waist as he pulled you flush against him and massaged your mouth with his own.

You both pulled away to catch your breaths, "I love you too, you obnoxious, crazy, and stubborn man." You huffed against his mouth, "Thank you for standing up for me, babe, but just wait till we finish eating next time, hm?" 

Jin nodded before pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "Now that's how you compromise." He grinned, "To make up for it, I'll make you your favorite, since my poor little Leopard didn't eat." You smiled before stealing another kiss, "Also I feel terrible for making you cry, so I'll get started." He chuckled lightly.

Before he could pull from your embrace, you pulled him in for another kiss as you stood on your tippy toes, "Darling?" You nuzzled your nose onto his as he hummed in question, his knees weakening, as you gripped his collar to bring him down and whisper in his ear, "If you really want to make my family sweat, tell the more about what you do for a living Mr. Board Member and Computer Science man." You mused playfully before placing a kiss to his ear as he straightened and met your eyes. The light had returned to them along with the smile you gave him, "Or whatever your impressive title is." You giggled, making him smile wide as he took in your features.

"Stop distracting me, beautiful." Jin chided before giving you a quick kiss and heading towards the kitchen, "You can seduce me after you eat the apology meal!" He called from the kitchen making your roll your eyes as you sat on the couch, "Gosh, my fiancè keeps trying to have makeup sex with me!" He whined sarcastically, making you smile.

You scoffed mockingly, "Oh really? Do you want me to tell her to stop?" You joked as you heard a small clatter of pans.

"NO!" Jin called as he collected himself, making you laugh, "I can handle it just fine, I'm a strong man!" He called out, not knowing you had snuck into the kitchen.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, chest pressed against his back as he stirred the pot in front of him, "I love you, dummy." You mumbled against him.

Jin paused his movements for a moment before placing on hand over yours. He closed his eyes for a moment, blissfully sighing before his face relaxed into an equally blissful smile, "I love you most, Leopard." He squeezed your hand as you nuzzled into him. Jin could put aside his pride for you and you alone, he would move mountains for you. However, he had all intentions to put your family in their place, and to make sure they understood their place was beneath you. You, his goddess, his universe, his lovely Leopard.

#yandere bts #soft yandere jin #soft yandere bts #bts drabble #seven princes of campus #bts fluff #bts angst #jin fluff #jin angst #kim seokjin x reader #yandere bts x reader

[sweetkyu]

blue | sunwoo

genre: angst, fluff.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol.

word count: 3.7k

n/a: i was inspired by some of jaden's songs to write this fic, this is the first time i post something so be kind hehe

i lost the count of how long i was standing in the middle of my living room, watching the rain fall down through the balcony door, holding onto my cup of chamomile tea with both hands. my mind had already given all the laps around the world as i just stood there. eyes locked to the world outside. empty head, no thoughts. nothing but kim sunwoo breaking into tears when i decided to end our relationship, three months ago. every day has been painful and sorrowful like this, since then. of course sometimes i can manage to just take a deep breath and try to live a day without thinking too much about it. today is the worst day until now because it's the day we would complete five years of dating, that is if we were together. to celebrate it, we had plans of traveling to norway to see the northern lights, a dream we dreamed together since we were kids.

i met kim sunwoo way before he became the boyz' main rapper sunwoo. i could never think that i would be this crazy in love with him when we met, but we don't know nothing about fate, i guess. and me and sunwoo, we were destined to be together, made for each other just like adam and eve. we have so much in common, we share the same dreams, we want to achieve the same things. our moms were university best friends, we didn't have much contact as kids, until the day our mothers decided to put us on the same school to study together... but why would they do that? nobody ever thought we were going to fall in love with each other, but when it happened, to our families it was just perfect. however, ten years after the first day in school together and here we are, here i am completely devastated and drowned in regret, chasing for sunwoo in every place. i thought i would be strong after all these years of relationship, after all the silly fights and misunderstandings i thought i would be able to ignore everything and stay by him, for him. and still i didn't.

his fans knew everything about us, since we started dating before he debuted. i was always there, at all concerts, fanmeetings, music shows. whenever i had the time, i was there in the backstage. deobis were mostly okay with us being together, some of them had social media accounts dedicated for us, i would see everything... and by everything, i mean literally. especially the fans who would hate me and send me messages saying that they wanted me dead, that sunwoo would be better off without me and so much more. that was when i became weak and started to believe in them. that was when my life became a mess in all areas, i was going through a major crisis in my job, my father was sick, some close friends stopped talking to me for no reason at all and sunwoo was on a one-month tour in japan. i was feeling lost, lonely, and i had to do something.

it was raining just like today on that night. i was preparing another cup of tea for me, my third round that day, when he got into the apartment. sunwoo was happy that he was finally home, he would tell stories about the tour and i would just pretend i was listening to them. he could notice something was off and asked me about it. in a whisper i replied him, "i wanna break up". it got silent for long and hard seconds, until i collected courage enough to look at him. the most painful thing i've ever seen, little did i know that scene would be tattoed in my mind for months. beautiful round eyes that i adore so much locking the tears so they wouldn't fall down, he nibbled at his bottom lip before asking "are you serious?" and i took a deep breath before nodding my head as a yes. sunwoo, then, began with the questions, demanding to know where all of that came from considering that we were so happy together. i was rude in my answers, saying that i was tired of the relationship and that i needed some time for myself. moments later and sunwoo went out, slamming the door behind him after i claimed that was the end. 

i've been living under this nightmare ever since, hating myself more every second because i was the one who put myself under this situation, who put sunwoo under this situation. for the past six months i had to just watch sunwoo through his work and social media, and sometimes i would know two or three things about him through chanhee, his fellow groupmate and best friend. chanhee was the only one who knew the truth about the break up and i made him swear he wouldn't tell no one, especially sunwoo, and so he did. in exchange, three months after, chanhee let me know about a mixtape sunwoo would release, mixtape which came out earlier today at midnight. i was kinda excited about this, it is his first solo work and i know how much he wanted to create something with his own touch, his own feeling. the mixtape is called 'blue' and it has only four songs, each named with every letter of the word blue. the songs tell a story on their own, so they make better sense if listened in order and all at once. in the lyrics, he talks about everything he had won as an artist and all that he lost because of that, all in a confused mix of feelings, sometimes full of anger and other times he would sound calm, and it's pretty clear that he is talking about me when he mentions a girl. since his group is now one of the most popular boy groups in korea, it didn't take long for his so waited mixtape to reach #1 in all digital platforms. i was so happy for him and so proud of his work, i even typed a text to send him but i just couldn't press the send button. instead, i expressed my happiness to chanhee, who was extremely comprehensive like always. 

as expected, i spent the entire day of today listening to this goddamn mixtape. every time i would hear his painful words it was like someone was putting a knife into my heart and, oh god, why did i brought so much suffering into this boy's life? this question kept on hammering my head the entire day until i decided i wouldn't listen to it anymore. i finished my shift at work without listening to any music, the background sound would be enough to make me company. i got into the subway with my coworkers just like any other day, they would say something about going out since it was friday and i would pretend i had some other important thing to do. and now, looking at all this rain that is falling outside, i think it was the best i could have done. i look at the clock ticking on the wall and although it's not even 10pm i decide to call it a day. i turn off the tv, let the empty mug by the kitchen sink and drag myself to the bedroom, laying down on my bed, getting comfortable around my pillows and under my fluffy blanket, letting the sleep take full control of my body.

it's still dark outside when i finally managed to free myself from the dream i was having. a dream where everything was fine and i could be found inside sunwoo's loving arms again, feeling his heart beat against mine, smelling his scent, hearing his sweet nothings being whispered at me. but then, so sudden, i looked deep into his eyes and recalled that it was only a dream. i would cry so hard while he would just look at me with a smile on his face. it's been a while since i had dreams like this one. i woke up with tears falling from my eyes, body shaking from head to toes. it took me a while to calm down, when i finally did i decide to have a glass of cold water. after going to the kitchen to drink it, i find my forgotten cellphone onto the dinner table. once i unlock it, i find some unread messages from chanhee.

[00:14] choi chanhee: y/n, i'm sorry but i think it's better for me to tell you

[00:14] choi chanhee: we were at a bar, sunwoo was drunk and started talking about you, saying he had to see you and he left

[00:15] choi chanhee: anyways he is going to your place, we couldn't stop him i'm sorry

[00:15] choi chanhee: call any of us if he acts weird okay? he seems to be out of himself this days... 

i let out a heavy sigh after seeing the messages were sent forty minutes ago, he will be here any time soon. to see sunwoo right now is what i want the most, surely, without any doubts. i miss him with everything that i have. but at the same time i don't feel ready enough for this, i'm not in my best moment, i don't know how i will react when i look at him; once it will be our first encounter after everything that happened between us. without noticing, i start pacing back and forth in my living room, feeling confused and nervous, anxiety growing inside me one more time that night and i feel my legs losing their strength, i sit by the couch as i try to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down again. this can't be happening, this can't be happening, this-- my thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell, followed by knocks on the door. i don't know how but i manage to get up and walk to the door with my jelly-like legs. i don't need to check before opening it. just like i had dreamed moments ago, sunwoo is right in front of me. dark circles around his beautiful eyes, the tip of the nose a bit red and he smells like he has been drinking and smoking for the past few hours. he is wearing black hoodies, black pants and black converse. all black, just the way he likes. i'm still giving no reactions, blinking at the sight of him, hoping for this to be another dream.

"hi" it’s all i can say.

"c-chanhee told me, y/n" he hiccups, taking a deep breath after "he told me everything" i look at him, trying to come up with a sentence but i just can't talk "a-about the haters and how that made you break up with me"

"sunwoo, i--" i stop in the middle of the sentence, couldn't finish because he literally jumped into my arms. a couple minutes later, i close the door behind us before readjusting his arms around me. with the head against his chest i can feel his heart bumping fast and his chin hovering above my head, and somehow it is recomforting. we stay like this for a couple moments, i stop feeling nervous and anxious as i feel his arms around me, calming me down, until his sobbing come into my ears "are you okay?" he nods, kissing the top of my head.

"i just..." i lift my head to look at him, red teary eyes looking deep into my eyes "why didn't you tell me, y/n? huh?" he holds my face with both hands "you can't do this, my love. how can you believe in what other people say when you know i'll love you forever?" he puts his forehead against mine and mumbles "please come back to me, i miss you so much" 

"sunwoo..." i take a deep breath and whisper "i don't know..."

"please, my love, please... i do anything!" his breath smells like alcohol "if you want me to leave the group, i'll do that right now!"

"stop saying nonsense, you know you can't do that!" i shake off his hands away slightly and he seems pretty offended, getting some steps away and looking back at me with angry but still sad eyes, tears now running down his cheeks without permission. a muscle in his jaw twitches making him look scary, yet i'm not afraid.

"it isn't nonsense! it's the truth!" he shouts "how could you believe those words when i am madly in love with you?--" sunwoo paces around the living room, hands messing his hair as if he was having an attack.

"sunwoo, you're screaming--"

"i can't eat, i can't sleep! all i can think about is you!" he takes a deep breath “i have my own pride! you can’t do this to me--”

"it's late, please lower your voice--"

“you can’t just leave me sick like this!” i scratch my forehead at his screamed words “you can’t throw away what we had, not this way!”

“sunwoo, please--”

"why did you have to do this?” he goes on “we've been together for so long, how could you let us just fall all apart?"

"sunwoo..."

"i can't breathe when you're not with me, y/n! fuck!" he slaps the flower pot that once was on top of the table, making it fall into the ground and break into pieces.

"oh my god, kim sunwoo! stop acting like crazy! look what you did!" he stares at me, gasping. i feel my cheeks getting red at the sudden wave of mixed feelings.

"i'm s-sorry" sunwoo looks to the ground and sighs before dropping on his knees, hysterically sobbing "it hurts so much, y/n. you're my everything! i can't stay away from you anymore" he lets out while crying "now why... why would you?" i don't know what to do, but i still keep watching him while holding back some tears.

it doesn't take too much until i can't take this agonizing scene anymore. i know he is tired and confused and i'm definitely not on the mood to fight, that's why i kneel down in front of him and let my hands cup his cheeks. i lift his head, taking a good look at his face as i start to wipe his teardrops away, still fighting back my tears, feeling my heart break into tiny little pieces "why don't you take a shower so you can calm down and then if you're not too tired we talk this through, huh? what do you say?" he opens a sad smile and nods, softly leaning his head against my hand as he searches for more of my touches.

with a certain difficulty, i manage to get him back on his feet but somehow he lost his balance, hardly being able to stand on his feet, so i help him walk to the bathroom while he keeps on muttering that he is sorry for everything and that he wants me back, making this even harder. once we are in the bathroom, i help him with his clothes before pushing him under the shower, i open the faucet, letting the water fall on his head.

"ah! it's cold!" he complains in a hiss, hugging his now naked body.

"i know, but you need it" i close the bathroom shower door, hearing as he mumbles something about not having extra clothes, making me sigh at the fact that he had forgotten that he owns at least three drawers in my dresser.

i walk back to the living room and clean up the mess sunwoo made. when finished, i decide to have a couple more glasses of water to calm down. i still can't believe this is happening. i draw in a long breath as i walk to the bedroom, i open one of sunwoo's drawers, which is exactly the same way it was the day he left. i pick up some clothes for him and soon when i stop hearing the sound of the water falling, i get back into the bathroom to hand sunwoo his clothes. he shyly thanks me before i walk out the room to give him some privacy. few minutes go by until sunwoo shows up in the room, wearing the navy blue pajamas i picked for him, dragging his body to the bed, where i am sitting on.

"i'm sorry, my love. sorry i'm a mess up" he mumbles, stopping in front of me, just by the look on his eyes i can feel that he is completely exhausted, like he would sleep for an entire day if he could. i don't say much, sighing only before getting up to take his hand and sit him down on the bed. i take the towel away from his hands and start to dry off his hair. i feel his hand touch my waist lightly, his thumbs caressing my skin over the material of my shirt, touches ever so soft just like his voice when he whispered "don't be mad at me"

"i'm not" i quickly answer back.

"yes, you are. you're not even looking at me, y/n" he puts his hands on my hands, making any movement of mine stop and then i finally look into his now swollen eyes, all i can see is sadness and sorrow.

"i'm not mad, sunwoo. i just don't like seeing you like that," i try not to cry but it's barely impossible "it makes me sad and it's even worse to know that you're suffering because of me" he wraps his arms around my waist when i drop the towel to the bed, covering my face as i sob uncontrollably.

i find shelter in sunwoo's arms moments later, when he makes me sit on his lap. i curl myself up inside his embrace, snuggling my nose on his neck and feeling his fingers going back and forth on my skin, sometimes he would kiss my temper and whisper some words, reminding me that he was there with me, calming me down.

"i'm so, so sorry for all of this" i hear myself saying after long minutes went by, he holds my  face on his hands, looking deep into my crying eyes "i was weak and made us suffer this badly" he nods at my words "i was in a bad place back then, i thought you wouldn't understand and got us all stuck in this even worse nightmare" he runs his thumb across my cheeks, wiping away some teardrops "i should've talked to you but i was afraid..."

"there was nothing for you to be afraid of, my love... we would have talked this through and find a solution together" i bob my head in comprehension as i feel his fingers put a lock of my hair behind my ear, tears falling silently this time "just like we will find one now, you are not alone. i’m with you, y/n"

"i'm so happy that you are here, sunwoo..." i let out in a whisper and i can watch his lips curve into a smile "i tried to text you before but i just couldn't" he nods.

"i understand, y/n. and it's totally fine" we grin at each other “and i’m sorry i didn’t call all this time and--” he is interrupted by a sudden yawn that makes us laugh, he apologizes right after "sorry, my love, i'm just feeling tired" he blinks lazily as i cross my hand through his hair.

"no, babe, i'm sorry for putting you up to this at this time, we should've talked in the morning" sunwoo shakes his head in denial, mumbling that it's okay "let's call it a day, shall we?" he nods once again that night.

"perfect idea, my love" i smile at him.

my hand fall from his hair to his chin as i put the other one on his shoulder. i lean myself and only closed my eyes after i saw sunwoo closing his, i get closer and closer until our lips locked. our kiss is small at first, slow and soft as if we were afraid of hurting each other but soon it grew bigger and full of desire. it was like my kiss had woken him up, his hands are now everywhere; first holding my cheeks then running down my arms until he got them on my waist, pulling me closer as if it is even possible. my own hands flew to the back of his head without me even notice and i feel his ones running up and down my spine, then holding me close. 

"i love you, y/n" he mumbles in between our making out session, lowering his kisses down my neck and shoulder.

"i love you too, love you  so much" i let out in a whine, panting under his caresses and this makes him smile. sunwoo stops all the kissing and leans his body backwards for a moment, taking his time to look on my face. good thing is that i can take a good look at his as well. he is gasping through his big and swollen red lips, black hair still a bit humid because i didn't make a good job at drying them, beautiful and swollen eyes that had stopped crying now stare at me with passion, making me feel like i am the prettiest woman on the planet, shirt all messy on his body and i swear this is the most beautiful scene i have seen, the dim lights from the bedside lamp only helping him to look even better.

"please don't you ever leave me again, my love" sunwoo prays in a whisper, one hand going up my cheek and i put mine above it "i don't know what i'll do without you" i lean my head to give his caressing hand a kiss.

"i'm not going anywhere" a smile dances on his lips and then he pulls me closer, making us fall on the bed and laugh together at it, before sunwoo kisses me again.

three months ago when he left, i could feel an emptiness growing inside of me, as if sunwoo had taken a piece of me along with him. but now i can assure that the hollow space i was feeling before sunwoo entered my apartment earlier today, that feeling is gone. kim sunwoo had always been that one source of happiness in my life and i don't know how i had the courage to doubt that nor how i managed to live all this time without him. again, we are like adam and eve. we are not perfect, we make mistakes, we are simply soulmates, born to be together. and i know that from now on i'm going to be fine, we are going to be happy.

#sunwoo #the boyz #tbz #the boyz sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #tbz scenarios #tbz fanfic #sunwoo fanfic #sunwoo scenarios #tbz fluff #the boyz fluff #tbz angst #the boyz angst #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #the boyz x reader #the boyz x you #tbz x reader #tbz x you #sunwoo x reader #kim sunwoo #sweetkyu

[mortedeveles]

I’m Okay. (PART 2)

Continuation and end to this oneshot! 

SUMMARY: Ever since you were young, your mind has always been clouded with negative thoughts about yourself and your shoulders were always heavy with an invisible weight. But now you’re dating the infamous Katsuki Bakugou, and you couldn’t be happier. He made you feel so confident that you decided to come clean to your dad about your mental health issues. Buzzing with courage, you can only hope everything turns out okay. But as it turns out, you were absolutely wrong.

GENRE: angst, like a lot lot, hurt comfort and fluff. [ONE-SHOT]

PAIRING: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!reader. (i will be writing gn! reader soon, but i still have to adjust to it)

TW: mental health issues, mentions of suicide, cursing, etc.

Copyright © 2020-2021 by Veles. The story plotline and some other elements belong to me, but all the My Hero Academia characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi.

a/n: i really wanted to give the og oneshot a proper ending so i wrote this up in a day or two!! i want to thank @lafy-taffy ​ for beta reading this, i really appreciate your help a lot! tysm!! btw, i don’t remember if i mentioned this before but y/n and bakuhoe have been dating for months in this oneshot, so they’re past the pining and blushing period!! please leave a like, reblog or comment if you enjoyed! it really helps! getting feedback makes me so, so happy, y’all seriously don’t have an idea lol.  that’s all, i hope you enjoy!

A week had passed by since Y/N's attempt to express her illness failed miserably. She had decided against telling her boyfriend Katsuki since it was a very sensitive topic for her. Y/N tried her best to brush it off and act as if nothing had ever happened, but it was hard trying to be something you weren't.

Her relationship with her father had become strained and their conversations had become short and dismissive. Y/N had been brought up by her father, since her mother had left when she was a young child, and it pained her greatly that her one and only family relationship was being torn at the edges.

Even though her life at her home had become miserable, Y/N had continued to smile and work hard at U.A, even though the number of sleepless nights she had recently encountered began to take a toll on her body.

She had hoped that Katsuki wouldn't notice the shift in her behavior, Y/N had never been a fan of confrontation. She had always preferred to keep things under the rug. Unfortunately, her behavior hadn't gotten unnoticed by Katsuki. He would notice how she would come out of the restrooms with puffy, red eyes, and how her notes slowly became messier which was unlike her. Katsuki knew that Y/N always organized her notes. But since Katsuki had other things on his mind, he didn't think much of it.

It wasn't until she had rejected his offer to go out on a Friday night that Katsuki decided to act. He was confused, frustrated, and annoyed. They would always go out on dates on Friday nights. Always. Even if she came down with a cold, he would sneak into her house and stay in bed with her, watching a cheesy movie. And therefore, Bakugou decided to act. He had climbed towards her room and stole a look at her from her bedroom window. His blood ran cold. 

There she was, crying her heart out with a rope in her hands. No...

Was she-was she going to kill herself? Katsuki knocked on the window furiously, feeling his temper swell with each look at her crying face. Who the hell made her sad? Who did he have to kill?

Y/N gasped and jumped. She dropped the rope and glanced towards her window, eyes widening when she spotted her furious boyfriend. She quickly rubbed her eyes and tried to make herself presentable as she opened the window with a forced smile.

''What's up, 'Suki? I told you I wasn't going to be able to go out tonight,'' Y/N said. She tried to keep the smile balanced on her lips and not break into tears. 

''We need to talk, Y/N,'' he said gruffly. She swallowed thickly and nodded in response.

Katsuki kept his anger at bay as he climbed through the window and pulled Y/N into a tight hug. He buried his head in her hair and breathed deeply.

''What's going on, baby?'' he murmured. It was unusual for Katsuki to act to tender and calm, but something told him that he needed to approach his girlfriend carefully.

That was enough for Y/N to fall apart. She let out a loud sob, curling her fists against Katsuki's chest and her entire frame began to shake. 

Bakugou could feel confusion stirring in his heart, who the hell had done this to her?! Y/N had always been a cheery and composed girl but right now, she looked so close from breaking away from reality. The sight made Katsuki feel as if someone was ripping his heart to shreds and burning it to ashes. It was too painful to watch.

''I just, I just can't take it anymore,'' she sobbed. Her shoulders trembled with each cry. 

Slowly, he picked up Y/N in his arms and carried her to the bed. Katsuki held her in his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

''What's going on? Something's wrong, and you haven't told me anything.'' he sighed and nudged Y/N’s chest into his chest. He hoped it would be of comfort.

''I don't like me very much anymore,'' she spoke into his chest. The vibrations made him shiver, but her words made him freeze in shock.

''You should be with someone else, 'Suki. I'm sorry for being a mess.''

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back to get a proper look at Y/N's face. He frowned and brushed away her tears.

''Hey, hey, slow down, nerd. What the fuck are you talking about?'' he pressed a chaste kiss on her salty and swollen lips.

''Can you start from the beginning, baby? Can you do that for me?'' his arms tightened around her.

Y/N slowly nodded and breathed shakily. Katsuki nodded in approval and patted her back.

''That's it, good job. Now, can you tell me what's going on?'' His patience was running thin- Katsuki had never been very patient, but he knew this was Y/N he was talking about- his amazing and kind girlfriend- so he forced himself to be patient.

''Um,'' she lowered her gaze to her lap. ''Ever since I was young, I felt that there was something wrong with me. I would feel so lonely, I wouldn't fit in anywhere, and most of the time, I felt so sad for absolutely no reason! I don't know why I feel like this, but I hate it,'' she forced a sob down her throat. ''I've never told anyone about it. I didn't want to bother anyone,'' Katsuki let out an angry growl, but quickly quieted down. ''I don't think I should be in U.A. There's this self-deprecating feeling in me, there's this voice that likes to taunt with me and tell me I'm worthless, I'm absolutely nothing,'' she whispered, blinking as tears fell on her hands.

''I can't help it. I've tried to make it stop, but it's stronger than me. It consumes me and it's eating me from the inside. I haven't been feeling well lately, and although I'm very afraid of talking about this, I decided to tell my dad about it.''

''And?'' Bakugou's voice was firm but slow. Knowing that Y/N was suffering so much in silence and he had no fucking idea made him furious. ''What did your old man say?''

Y/N let out a bitter laugh. Bakugou raised an eyebrow and bit down on his tongue. Her laugh sounded so, so wrong. It wasn't a happy laugh, filled with amusement or joy. It was void. Empty. Harsh and bitter. Nothing like Y/N.

''He told me to get over it-,''

Bakugou growled.  ''That motherfucker! I'm going to kill him!'' 

Y/N smiled and pressed a hand on Katsuki's arm. He sighed and lowered his fists. 

''I’m sorry…’’ he mumbled. Y/N nodded in understanding and continued explaining.

''-And to be fair, I think he's right. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and there's nothing I'm missing. My dad has suffered so much and I'm just a spoiled brat that doesn't appreciate what she has,'' she looked up at Katsuki with watery eyes and a strained smile. ''I'm so lucky. I have you as my boyfriend,'' She giggled and hiccuped, pressing a soft kiss on his jaw.

''Don't worry about it. I'll be fine, 'Suki. I'm okay.''

Katsuki clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. He lowered his head and narrowed his eyes.

''Why didn't you tell me...any of this?'' 

Y/N sighed. She pressed a gentle hand on Katsuki's cheek and smiled.

''I didn't want to bother you with it. You're amazing, Katsuki! You're strong, determined, your quirk is great and you're the next Number One Pro-Hero. I didn't want to get in your way. Besides, you're so confident and beautiful,'' her voice faltered.

''I didn't think you'd understand.''

Katsuki was silent. His head was lowered and Y/N couldn't see the expression on his face. He was silent. Was he mad? Ashamed of her? Ashamed of having a girlfriend that wasn't mentally stable? The insecurities began to jab at Y/N's heart.

''Katsuki, are you okay? You haven't said any-,'' Y/N raised her hand to touch Katsuki, but he quickly grabbed her hand in a firm grip.

Slowly, he raised his eyes and met her gaze. His eyes were blazing with too many emotions. Y/N couldn't understand what he was feeling. Was he sad? Angry? Furious? It seemed to be a combination of all three.

''I'm your boyfriend, Y/N! Fucks sakes, I'm the one who's supposed to protect you,'' he croaked. The hand that gripped her wrist began to shake. ''Not the other way around. You're supposed to tell me everything, baby. If someone's bothering you, I'll make sure they'll never bother you again. If you're in danger, I'm the one who's supposed to swoop in and protect you!'' he growled. 

''I'm sorry, I-,'' Y/N began, but Bakugou quickly silenced her with a finger pressed against her lips.

''Shh. Don't apologize anymore,'' he grumbled.

 ''How can you think like that about yourself? You're my girlfriend and you're the most beautiful person I've ever met,'' he whispered. 

''Seeing you makes me smile. When we're together, I feel so happy I fear my chest might explode,'' he barked out a laugh. ''You're not worthless, baby,'' he held her face in his warm hand. ''You're everything to me, even if you don't believe it. You're a strong, kind, and determined girl. You're going to make an excellent hero, I know it. And I'm not just saying this because you're my girlfriend. I'm telling you this because I know it's true,'' he pressed a kiss on her lips. 

Y/N slowly moved her lips in sync, tugging Katsuki forward, but he broke apart from the kiss. He grinned and shook his head. 

''Not so fast. I have some other things to say. It doesn't matter if I'm training or busy, fuck, I could be dying and you still have to tell me if something's on your mind. Or have you forgotten, Y/N? Being Number One Pro Hero isn't my only priority. You're so fucking important to me! Of course, you're my priority. I don't know what I'd do without you,'' he mumbled, burying his face in Y/N's chest. 

Y/N hiccuped. Katsuki quickly snapped his head upwards and stroked Y/N's hair. Her sobs were louder by the minute, so he gently pushed her face into his chest. He murmured words he wouldn't even dream of saying out loud, rubbing circles on her back and stroking her soft hair. Feeling her sadness and pain nearly brought tears to his eyes, but he forced them down. Katsuki had to stay strong and patient for Y/N.

''I'm so tired, Katsuki,'' she cried. ''I just wish I didn't feel like this.  Why can't I be normal?''

Katsuki shushed her and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

''Hey, hey, calm down, baby. It's okay to feel tired. You can rest here with me. Don't worry baby, we'll get through this,'' he murmured. ''I'm here for you.''

About half an hour passed by quickly and Y/N's hiccups and sobs slowly quietened down.

''Thank you, 'Suki,'' Y/N raised her head and met Katsuki's soft gaze. ''I know I'm a handful.''

Katsuki sighed and flicked his finger on Y/N's forehead. Immediately, she cried out and clutched her forehead.

''Ow! What the hell was that for?'' she frowned and crossed her arms defensively. The sight made Katsuki chuckle.

''Don't say that about yourself. It's not true. You're only feeding your insecurities if you say them out loud,'' he gripped Y/N's hand and squeezed it.

Katsuki cleared his throat loudly and prepared his speech. ''Now, repeat after me. I, Y/N L/N, am the most beautiful girl ever and no one can say otherwise!''

Y/N's eyes widened and she laughed quietly. Katsuki smiled and squeezed her hand. At least he managed to get a smile out of her. Seeing Y/N without a smile was like if the world had gone dark, and all the colors were reduced to a boring grey. It shouldn't be possible for someone as beautiful and kind as her to look so sad and miserable. She should always be smiling.

''You can't be serious, 'Suki,'' she chided. ''I'll sound like a dumbass! Seeing you say those words with complete confidence made you look like an absolute clown!'' she giggled and shook her head disapproval.

Katsuki snorted and grabbed her face by her chin.

''I don't fucking care. C'mon, say it. You'll feel better, I promise.''

Y/N sighed and decided to surrender. ''Fine,'' she grumbled.

''I, Y/N LN/ am the most beautiful girl in the world and no one can say otherwise!'' she exclaimed, raising her arms for a dramatic effect. After she had repeated the words, Y/N began to laugh wildly as she buried her face in Katsuki's chest.

''That was sooo embarrassing. I'm never going to say that again!'' her words were muffled against his chest.

Bakugou smiled as he felt Y/N's face heat up in embarrassment.

''It doesn't matter. Good job, baby. I'm proud of you,'' he sneaked a kiss on her lips.

''Thank you, 'Suki. I was a dumbass to think that you wouldn't understand.''

Katsuki sighed and tightened his arms around Y/N. He placed his chin on the top of her head and stared at the window. It must've been midnight by now but when he was with Y/N, time seemed to be an abstract concept. He could spend a century with her and it would feel like a few couple of minutes.

''You are a dumbass for thinking like that,'' he grumbled. ''I know I'm not very vocal about my feelings and all that bullshit,'' he paused and licked his lips. ''I understand how you feel. I've felt like that many times. I thought that if I bottled up my emotions, I would be fine, but I was so, so wrong. I used to feel this insane pressure on me because of my quirk, that I had to be better than everyone because if I tried and slacked off, even just for one moment, I'd fail. I would be reduced to nothing and...'' his voice became softer and faltered. ''That terrifies me.''

A moment of peaceful but bitter silence swept over them as they held onto each other tightly. Katsuki could feel his chest tighten. He had done the impossible- express what he was truly feeling. And his chest and shoulders had felt impossibly lighter afterward.

''Oh, Katsuki,'' Y/N sighed and leaned her forehead against Katsuki's.

''You should've told me about this earlier. I admire your determination, very much, you know that, but you have to cut yourself some slack. You're doing great and even if you slack off, you won't fall behind,'' she smiled and met Katsuki's hesitant eyes. 

''I promise. Your dreams and goals are important, but you should take care of yourself too. Don't forget about yourself in the process of reaching your goals. You're an extraordinary person and don't think I've ever met someone like you,'' she murmured, tracing her thumb over Katsuki's soft cheeks. He laughed roughly and leaned closer, closing his eyes. 

''I think I could say the same thing about you.''

Y/N smiled and closed her eyes, pressing a soft kiss on Katsuki's lips. He smiled against her lips and tugged at her bottom lip. The two of them danced with their lips, tugging at their hair and necks. It wasn't until Katsuki spoke that they broke apart.

''When you're ready, baby,'' he gripped both her hands as he stared into Y/N's eyes. ''We can get some help if that's what you want. Maybe some therapy would help you.''

Y/N smiled and nodded. She squeezed Katsuki's warm palms. ''I think that would be nice.''

''We're going to get through this, won't we, 'Suki?''

Katsuki nodded and tugged Y/N closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he breathed in the pleasant smell of her hair.

''Of course. I know we will.''

Y/N pressed a chaste kiss on Katsuki's neck, making his face redden and his grip on her body tighten.

''I love you, 'Suki.''

''I love you more, you damn nerd,'' he grumbled. With a heavy nod, the two of them began to descend into hours of sleep, finding comfort and solace in each other's embrace.

and that’s a wrap!! i hope you guys enjoyed it! should i make a permanent tag list, in which you’d be tagged for ALL my fics? DM me or comment if you’re interested so i can make it! next update is for Tainted Flowers which will prob be up tomorrow, and then we’ll get back to model for me! have a good week y’all! xx 

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsukibakugou #katsuki x y/n #mha bakugou #bakugou x you #angst #fluff #hurt comfort #my writing #mha #veles' writing

[dysfunctional-lego-ninja]

Into the Sword Again

Prime Empire Jaya oneshot - alternate ending to Episode 12: Stop, Drop, and Sidescroll (1464 words)

Nya and Jay didn’t leave the fighting arena right away. While Jay had taken the Yellow Key-Tana, he didn’t move for the end of the level. “I . . . I need a minute.”

He moved away from her, back to the doors to the level leading into the level. Finding the doors still operable, albeit leading to nothingness, he sat down in the open doorway, letting his legs dangle over the edge and into the cyber void. Concerned, Nya followed him.

“Jay?” She sat down next to her husband. “You okay?”

Jay sighed, absently running his fingers across the Key-Tana blade. “Not really,” he admitted quietly.

Nya wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head into his shoulder. “It’s about Nadakhan, isn’t it?”

The young man put the blade back into his inventory. He nodded. “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I wish I’d learned that before getting tangled up in this stupid video game.”

He slumped forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and his chin in his hands. “I just . . . I ran right into another dumb decision. And people all over Ninjago are getting hurt―including our team―because of my mistake. Even if no one but me and you remember it, I still feel guilty for the damage Nadakhan caused. And now . . . it’s happening all over again.”

Nya gently stroked Jay’s hair, holding him close. “You didn’t know that Prime Empire would turn into this, babe,” she said quietly. “While you could have been more cautious, you didn’t know what the game would do―none of us did. Any one of us could have made the same mistake.”

“But anyone didn’t―it was me―again.” There was a tremor in Jay’s voice. “This is the second time I let an unstoppable force loose onto Ninjago―the second time I had to watch the team get picked off one by one―and the second time I could do nothing to stop it.” A tear slid down his cheek. “Sometimes . . . I just . . . I just want to . . . I just want to wish it all away.”

“James Imperial Walker. Look at me.” Nya firmly turned Jay’s head toward her, clasping his cheeks in both hands. Her gray eyes smoldered in a way that anyone would have found terrifying―including Jay had he been in a different frame of mind. “Don’t you dare say that―don’t you ever say that you want to wish it all away―”

The Water Ninja’s anger extinguished itself just as quickly as it had flared up. Tears sprung unbidden to her eyes, now racked with pain. “Babe, please . . . don’t say that. I know it’s hard, but you’re better than that. You resisted Nadakhan under torture, even when you didn’t know whether you’d be rescued. Even with everything we’ve experienced, none of us have gone through the kind of physical and mental trauma he put you through, and yet here you are―still bearing the burden of those memories and managing to carry on with a smile on your face.”

More tears trickled silently down Jay’s face. “I can’t keep faking it. . .”

“Your smile isn’t always fake.” Nya thumbed away his tears. “I know you well enough to know when you’re truly happy. Which is a lot more often than you might realize.” She gently ran a hand through his curls. “I can hear it in your laugh―and I can see it in your smile.” A soft, sad smile of her own lifted the corners of her mouth. “Your sweet, innocent smile that I love so much. How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Jay quietly slid his hand over hers, resting his cheek in her palm.

“How can you be so childlike and so mature at the same time?” Nya gazed tenderly into his blue eyes. “You act so silly and kiddish, but you can be as confident, brave, and wise a leader as Lloyd or Cole.”

“I don’t know. . .” Jay murmured, looking down at his knees. “It’s not something I do on purpose.”

Nya’s slender fingers entwined themselves in his auburn curls. Her other hand gently tilted his chin up, her eyes meeting his again. “You’re so strong, Jay,” she said softly, admiring his face with a tender gaze. “Stronger than you’re willing to let on or believe yourself.”

“I don’t feel strong.” Jay couldn’t look at his wife. “Strong men don’t . . . you know. . .”

“It’s the strongest men that do cry, sweetheart.” Nya leaned forward and gently kissed his tearstained cheek. “It takes a lot of courage to express these kinds of feelings openly. There can be a lot of strength in being vulnerable.” As she spoke, she felt the urge to look away herself. “I wish I could do that as easily as you.”

Jay was quiet for a moment. Then, with a deep breath, he lifted his hand to Nya’s cheek. “You’re strong in your own ways, my love. While I might have been able to persevere through Nadakhan’s manipulation, you died because of him. But you faced that end with so much courage. And it’s fueled you. You’ve said so yourself before that you fight even harder to keep us―and yourself―from suffering that fate.”

“Well I haven’t really been doing a good job at that recently, haven’t I?” Nya forced a rueful smile, trying to ignore the tears pricking her eyes.

“Oh, Nya. . .” Jay gathered Nya into his arms and gently lifted her onto his lap.

In spite of herself, she felt herself shaking with hiccuping sobs. Wrapping her arms around her husband’s neck, she buried her face in his chest. Jay tenderly kissed her forehead, holding her close to him and rocking her gently in his embrace. “It’s okay, it’s okay. . . You don’t need to hold it in, baby girl, you don’t need to hold it in. . .”

Nya didn’t try to control the salty water flowing down her cheeks. She cried hard into Jay, her chest heaving with each harsh breath she took. Through her sobs, she could hear Jay murmuring to her. “You don’t have to carry this weight alone, Nya. You have me. Please let me share the load with you.”

She couldn’t answer him for a while, but his words were comforting. Finally, when she could speak again, she looked up at him, gray eyes shining silver with the film of her lingering tears. “Only if you don’t try to carry your own burden alone. I’m always here for you, Jay. Even when you can’t take it anymore, I’ll still be there.”

“What if Unagami takes you away too?” Jay’s voice was quiet again.

“If he tries, I’m not going down without a fight―just like the others. And just like you.” Nya’s face was serious. “If that happens, you’re gonna have to be strong for the team one more time. Wu, Zane, and P.I.X.A.L. are still counting on us. But for now, you don’t have to be strong alone.” Her gaze remained steady and strong on him. “If I get cubed, it’ll be fighting side by side with you to bring down this digital son of an Oni.”

For the first time during the exchange, Jay managed a weak smile. “Thank you, Nya. You mean so much to me.” He gently kissed her hand. “I love you so, so much, my warrior queen.”

Nya returned his smile. “I love you more, my lightning strike.”

“I love you even more than that, my Yin. . .” Jay leaned down, tenderly touching his lips to hers.

“My love is beyond even that, my Yang.” Nya returned his kiss passionately.

“My beautiful, courageous wife. . .”

“My sweet, strong husband. . .”

“My dearest Nya. . .”

“My darling Jay. . .”

They remained locked in this embrace for what felt like hours, murmuring words of affection and love in between kisses. Even in the tender moment, the salty sting of fresh tears intermingled with the sweet taste of their lips.

Jay’s tears had dried on his face as they pulled away. Hoisting his legs up onto solid ground once again, he took her hand. “What do we do now?” she asked softly.

Jay lifted her to her feet, a new resolve in his eyes. His expression had darkened into a determined, fierce scowl. “Whatever it takes.” He drew the Yellow Key-Tana from his inventory again. “We get our friends back.” He startled her by pulling her into another, harder kiss. When he drew back again, he looked her right in the eye. “And we stop Unagami.”

Nya nodded, a little stunned. They walked across the arena up to the doors exiting the level. Jay breathed deeply. “Into the sword again.”

“But this time, you’re not alone.” Nya squeezed his hand tightly. “You’ll come in with one - and you’ll leave with everyone.”

Jay gripped the hilt of the Key-Tana tighter. “Game on, Unagami.”

Then they stepped into the light.

#ns12 #ns12 spoilers #ninjago #ninjago prime empire #prime empire #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago jay walker #ninjago nya smith #ninjago jaya #jaya #jay walker #nya smith #oceanblueshipping #hydroelectricshipping #jayashipping #ninjago fluff #ninjago jaya fluff #jaya fluff #cross-posted on ffn #i love these two and will defend them with my life #the-tenth-arcade fic

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Dawn in Your Eyes Part 13

Summary: Alfie has little to no idea why Caroline ever gave him the time of day. The blind woman seemed far too sensible to even speak to him. But soon he finds himself falling helplessly in love.

Part 13: It had to happen sooner or later.

            Julia had been watching her niece all morning. Something was different. True, the two hadn’t been spending as much time together, not even close to the amount of time they used to spend together when Caroline was still under her care.

            Now she was a married woman with her own career within Julia’s business. The older woman couldn’t help but think about how proud her sister would be. If only she could see her daughter flourishing so much. Monica was always distraught about how her little girl would never be able to live a full life with her disability. Of course, Julia could be dismayed about Caroline’s choice of husband. Still, she knew Monica would be so proud. Also, Alfie did nothing but dote on his new wife. He spoiled her far more than Julia ever did, which she wasn’t sure was possible.

            Despite the lavish lifestyle, Caroline still worked hard helping Richard and Elizabeth with their charity work. That’s why she was in the offices in Camden instead of being in Kensington. She and Julia needed to go over the proposed numbers for the year.

            “Caroline.”

            “Hm?”

            “Stand up, would you?”

            A bit confused, Caroline put a hand on the desk and stood up. “What?”

            “Turn to the side.”

            “Which side?”

            “Doesn’t matter.”

            Caroline had no clue what her aunt was getting at but turned to the right.

            Julia got up and moved closer to make sure she wasn’t just seeing things. She touched her niece’s abdomen to make sure she wasn’t crazy. “Oy,” She slapped a hand to her forehead in disbelief.

            “What?” The young woman suddenly became very self-conscious, maybe she’d forgotten to do up a button or her headscarf was coming undone.

            “You’re pregnant.”

            The shock hit Caroline so hard she let out a hysterical bubble of laughter. “No, no. That’s…” Well, it was possible. She and Alfie weren’t shy around each other. It just felt natural and dammit Alfie made it fun. He never failed to put a smile on her face and often times would make her giggle. Without her sight, Alfie knew she relied a good deal on touch. That’s why he made sure to memorize every little quirk about his wife. A quick nip to her collarbone or tickling her toes made her squirm and laugh.

            Now it appeared that their rambunctious behaviors had led to something much less light-hearted. Despite talking about it many times before, it still hit Caroline harder than she expected.

            Feeling ten pounds heavier, she slowly sank back into her chair. “Oh…” Things that had just seemed like little nuisances were starting to fall into place. She hadn’t bled regularly, her clothes were feeling a bit snug, and she’d become more sensitive to smells.

            Julia had to sit with the news for a moment. She grabbed the edge of the nearest desk and put a hand on her hip. Lifting her chin, she stared at the ceiling and muttered a few Yiddish prayers under her breath. Mostly along the lines of God giving her strength.

            Julia’s moment was interrupted by Caroline who had begun to cry. “Everything was going al-alright and now look what I’ve done.” She sniffled with her face in her hands.

            “Zeeskeit, don’t cry. Hush now.” Julia knelt down to embrace her niece. “Why the tears?”

            “Don’t lie to me, tante, you know I can’t be a good mother.” Caroline resisted her aunt trying to comfort her. "That's just ridiculous to assume, everyone knows it wouldn't work out." 

            “Why would I lie to you, hey?”

            “Because everyone does. Everyone wants to pity me and console me like a child. They pretend I can be normal when they treat me like I’m som-some second-class person that they need to coddle.

            “I don’t treat you that way and neither does Alfie.”

            “Not you two. Other people…” Caroline wiped her eyes and shook her head.

            “Who?” Julia tipped her niece’s chin up when she didn’t respond. “Who, Caroline?”

            Her lower lip quivered as the memory of Passover returned to her. The exact words of those awful women were still branded into her brain. No matter what Alfie said, she couldn’t wipe them away. “It doesn’t matter.”

            “It does matter. No one talks ill about you.” Julia insisted.

            Caroline sighed. “I don’t know who it was. They were talking about me. Saying how I would never be a good mother or wife. They assumed that you had paid Alfie to marry me because no one else would.”

            Julia scoffed. “Those momzers.” She gritted her teeth because she had an idea of who the two women were that her niece was talking about. There were rumors going around that Julia heard but tried to keep Caroline in the dark about them. “You don’t listen to a word they say, fershtay? They know nothing about you or what you’re capable of. You exceed my expectations every day and for that, I am blessed. And now you and Alfie are blessed with such a wonderful gift. Do not let anyone take that away from you.”

            Caroline hiccupped. “It’s a curse. Now Alfie has to worry about a newborn when he already has so much else to worry about!” She cried. "He's busy enough now-now I just. Oh it's all going to fall apart!" 

            “Don’t ever call your child a curse.” Julia scolded. “That baby is a gift from Him and you ought not question His plan for you.”

            She lowered her head in shame. “I’m scared.” She admitted in a sheepish voice.

            Julia sighed and carefully tucked a stray piece of Caroline’s hair back in place under her scarf. “That is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a new challenge. But I trust that you will rise to it, just as you do to every challenge you’ve faced in your life. You’re a strong woman who has overcome so much. HaShem has rewarded you.”

            Caroline closed her eyes. She wasn’t worried about what God had planned for her. “What if Alfie is upset?”

            “Why would he be?”

            She just shrugged. Perhaps it was unsubstantiated. Alfie had done nothing but accepted the idea of having children. He assured Caroline that it would be a good thing in their life, not something to avoid. But she couldn’t get over her own doubts that she projected them onto Alfie.

            “If he has a problem with it then he can come to me about it,” Julia grumbled. Caroline couldn’t help but laugh softly. “There’s that lovely smile. Now wipe your tears and I’ll walk you over to the bakery.”

            “For what?”

            “To tell your husband the good news.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Julia let Caroline go into the office alone. She stayed out with Ollie to chat about how his wife and children were doing. Nervously, Caroline knocked on the door.

            “Come in.”

            The hardened lines in Alfie’s face dissolved the second he saw Caroline enter his office. “Were hoping you were gonna stop by. Julia let you go a little early or are you taking a break?” He asked and stood up to greet her.

            “A break, I suppose. I have some news.” She told him after he gave her a quick kiss.

            “News, eh?” He pulled up a chair for her and ruffled Pilot’s ears affectionately.

            Caroline sat and tried to gather the courage to get the words out. “Julia said…well, I think…we both did.” She exhaled in defeat. “Oh for the love of-I-don’t know how to tell you.”

            “Tell me what, love?” Alfie leaned against his desk, reaching for her hand. “You know you can tell me anything, ain’t gonna judge you.”

            She swallowed and squeezed his hand for a little bravery. “I uh-I think I’m pregnant.”

            Her voice was so soft but Alfie heard the word well enough. Baffled, he let out a low whistle of disbelief. “Pregnant, aye? That’s…well, that’s to be expected.” He chuckled nervously and ran a hand over his beard. Truth be told it was some sort of an enigma that his wife hadn’t ended up pregnant much earlier in their marriage.

            “I know but it’s still.” Caroline’s voice caught in her throat. “Oh, it’s just so much, Alfie, I don’t know what to do.”

            “What do you mean, love? Ain’t nothing for you to do ‘cept carry our child. Not saying that’ll be easy. Can’t imagine toting ‘round a babe in my gut for months on end.”

            “But-”

            “Caroline, we discussed this. I know you want me to be angry and to tell you that you’ll never be a good mother. But I ain’t ever gonna say it ‘cause it ain’t true. I won’t lie to you. Any child would be lucky to have you as a mother.” He insisted. Don’t matter what the rest of the world thinks. We’ll do it our own way and we’ll make it work. You trust me?”

            Tears were welling up in Caroline’s eyes again. “Yes.”

            “Then trust that I trust you.” He kissed her knuckles. “Be excited. We’ll have our own family soon ‘nough and that makes me unbelievably happy. Can't even describe it to ya.”

            She gave a weak, tearful laugh. “I am happy, I’m just so scared.” Her voice shook.

            “I am too.” He chuckled and stood her up so he could embrace her tightly. “If you didn’t know, I ain’t ever been a father before.” He kissed her cheek. “But we’ll figure it out together.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            It took some getting used to, but Caroline accepted the fact that she was pregnant and in a short period of time she would be giving birth. Many times a day she placed her hand on her stomach to feel the slight swell of her abdomen. Almost as if to make sure the baby was still there or to try to feel any movement. However, Julia told her that it was far too early to feel any movement.

            Caroline had to come to terms that she didn’t know much about pregnancy or childbirth. Usually, if any of the women in her life discussed the topic, she tuned the conversation out. Perhaps out of spite or avoidance. She always assumed that she would never be a mother because no man would ever want to marry her.

            Now that she was expecting, it seemed pressing to know all the little tidbits to look forward to.

            Elizabeth was elated when she heard the news. She said she’d make immediate plans for someone to decorate the nursery with everything the baby would need. She also discussed possible names with Caroline, listing off some of the Solomons relatives that had beautiful Jewish names. It was a bit overwhelming but Elizabeth’s reaction made Caroline feel a little more excited.

            In fact, everyone who heard the news wished the couple an enthusiastic ‘Mazel Tov’. Yet, Caroline was wary of who knew. Alfie wanted to tell anyone they came in contact with. Getting ahead of himself, he was just thrilled to be a proud father. His wife was more cautious. Not for her safety, but because she didn’t want people gossiping behind her back.

            How could they be so reckless to have a child?

            How could Caroline ever think she could be a proper mother?

            What if the baby came out blind as well?

            All, frankly, ridiculous things but Caroline couldn’t shake them. After Passover, she put her guard up when it came to people she didn’t know well. She just assumed they were talking about her when she left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~           

            Still, she had enough time to herself to enjoy the early stages of her pregnancy. Not the morning sickness, mind you, but just the simple period of waiting. Often times, when she was alone, she’d talk idly to the child. Just like she mindlessly talked to Pilot when it was just the two of them together.

            Sometimes she listed out the names that she was considering just so she could hear how they sounded out loud.

            That’s what she was doing one unseasonably warm April night. She was upstairs in their home in Camden. The window was open with the curtains swishing back and forth in the warm breeze. The street outside was quiet, only a few people passing by and a car every so often.

            Caroline was alone in the flat with Pilot and Apollo. She had sent their maid home, as Alfie was due to be home at any moment. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, a hand over her baby bump. Apollo was curled up on the bed. He’d grown so much in a year but still thought he was a tiny puppy, hardly aware of his long legs. Pilot was sat at Caroline’s feet, his chin resting on her knee.

            “Hanna Solomons. Elizabeth said that was Alfie’s mother’s cousin’s name. Or no…was it her sister? Well, that would make it Alfie’s aunt’s name. Now, Elizabeth said her mother’s name was Livna. Livna Solomons. I suppose that’s pretty. Although you could be a boy.” Caroline smiled. “I think Alfie would love to have a boy. Of course, he would love you no matter what.” She chuckled but stopped when she heard a noise from downstairs.

            Even Pilot and Apollo perked up. It sounded like footsteps so Caroline called out.

            “Alfie? Is that you?”

            There was no response. Maybe he hadn’t heard her. Caroline stood up, nudging Pilot to the side and making her way to open the bedroom door.

            “Alfie? You home?”

            When she didn’t get a response the second time, a hint of dread dropped into her stomach. With the door open, she could definitely tell the noises were footsteps and they were making their way upstairs. “A-Alfie?” She shrunk backward and reached to close the door. Something wasn’t right.  

            The footsteps reached the landing and began to run at her. It clearly wasn’t her husband as there were multiple people coming after her. So she screamed and hurried to close the door shut. But someone wedged their foot inside to keep it from closing. They shoved forward, knocking Caroline back and forcing the door open.

            Pilot jumped up, barking and growling. The massive Newfoundland launched himself at the intruder, teeth bared. Although not technically a trained attack dog, Julia had made sure she gifted her niece with a protective companion just in case.

            A man swore and staggered backward when Pilot sunk his teeth into his arm. “Get it off!”

            “Just fucking shoot the thing!” Another man snapped.

            “No!” Caroline shrieked.

            “Shut ‘er up!”

            Rough hands grabbed Caroline by the hair, dragging her to her feet. She heard a dull thump and Pilot yipped out in pain.

            “Leave him alone, please!” She cried and tried to get to her beloved dog.

            “I said, shut ‘er up!” The second man ordered again.

            A cloth was placed over Caroline’s mouth to muffle her screams while the butt end of a rifle knocked her on the back of the head, causing her to go limp.

~~~~~~~

Yiddish/Hebrew: 

Zeeskeit: Sweetheart Momzers: Untrustworthy bastards Fershtay: Understand? HaShem: Hebrew name for God, "The name"

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​

Tag list: @zazasblogxx​ @thinkingsofamadwoman​ @deaflikehawkeye​ @bellarkebxtch​

Masterlist

#alfie solomons #alfie solomonsxoc #alfie solomons x oc #alfie solomons imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #ofc #oc #blind character #jewish character #cyril solomons

[birdlingstarot]

Hiii (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ May I ask about my connection between my boyfriend David and me, please? I think of him as someone I want to share my life with, and I have a feeling we may have met in another life. Thank you –Alejandra

Hello  🌻 Alejandra!

A little birdie told me this 🕊

To start right off, I did get the feeling that the both of you have a deep connection within yourself and are proud to have each other. Both of you really boost each others’ confidence within themselves and each other which is a really beautiful connection. I wish the both of you the best in this relationship. 😊

What is the nature of your relationship with David? 55 - Taming the Wind; 33 - Magic

This relationship is probably something you did not expect initially and came into your life like a whirlwind. There’s an intense connection and feelings between the both of you. Both of you is a power couple and is able to push each other to better yourselves as well as face challenges with courage and fearlessness. 

Both of you provide a huge sense of security for each other despite how ‘wild’ the relationship was. 

This relationship is like magic and both of you were decently surprised at it, especially with it seemingly looking to be ‘too good to be true’. It is likely a high level soulmate connection that both of you shared which explains your feeling of having met in the previous life. 

The reoccurring numbers of ‘5′ and ‘3′ could hold importance to either of you - such as dates of events or it could mean something big could happen or is happening with you and/or your partner if you see those numbers reoccurring (3333 / 333 or 5555 / 555). The digital clock is one of the most common ways you could see them. [Don’t force it though.]

Both of you compliment each other well and is able to protect each other from harm in your own unique ways. Both of you are quite in touch with your feminine energy (which represents your emotions) which meant well as both of you know what you want and feel and is able to communicate with each other without much issues. 

One of you is more nurturing in terms of emotions which helped the other with theirs and the other is more cautious of people which protect the other from potential harm from the people around them.

Despite both of you being in touch with your feminine energy, one of you is actually much more masculine in energy with provides a good compliment to the other’s more feminine energy. 

Both of you holds strong feelings and respect for the other. It is likely to be a lasting relationship, even one for a lifetime. 

Potential hiccups in your relationship. [ It might relate to the both of you so I feel that it might do the relationship and the both of you good if you share it with your partner, David, as well. 😊 ]

34 - Hummingbird Spirit; Be here now!

There might be times when one of you become too invested in the future, such as future plans and dreams, which is not a bad thing. However, be sure that you will take actions towards it. 

For instance, you might dream about taking a trip together to another country like Spain. If you don’t take actions such as working overtime to earn extra money or saving up, it is unlikely it will be fulfilled.

Another note is that one of you might become too invested in the potential of your relationship or of the other person. What this could result in is that one of you might overlook qualities or actions that should be called out on which could damage the relationship further in the future. 

See things as how it should in the present and communicate. Don’t explode at the other person but talk it out and compromise, which I am sure both of you could do.

Thirdly, take time to live in the present and enjoy yourselves, If things get rough, take time off to calm down and heal. Indulge in yourselves for a little bit, daydream and go flying [a kite too? it’ll be cute if both of you fly a kite together, back-hugging??? 👀👀👀] Basically, do something that is not as grounded, relating to air, wind, flying etc. or even surrounding yourselves with people who are air dominant ( Gemini, Libra, Aquarius ) and communicate, talk about different things compared to the usual, philosophy, debates etc.

Also, go back to your roots when things get rough. Remember why you are doing things. 

Indulge in your passion from time to time like your hobbies, take up something new ( and the... adult fun too).

In addition, remember to appreciate the present. The you now as well as your partner now, how they are, how they look etc. Remember to compliment each other as making the other feel good will bring you happiness as well.

57 - Squirrel Spirit; Believe in yourself.

One major thing that might happen (which goes for the both of you) is that your partner becomes a huge part of you, your identity. When the other is not present, it could very well seem like you are lost and can’t do anything without the other.

Remember to take time to yourself and away from each other (which is not a bad thing per say, something along the lines of distance makes the heart grows fonder? and both of you will become more appreciative and love each other more.). You need time and space to regain and solidify your own sense of identity, that you are your own person. 

A partner is there to help and support but they shouldn’t be such a big part of who you are to the point of being helpless or even almost helpless without them. 

Another issue that might arise is that both of you could make decisions based on what the other said. It does not mean that you shouldn’t share your troubles with each other, but rather you don’t have to ask your partner to make a decision on everything. There are some decisions you can make for yourselves.

This could lead to excessive clinging, over possessiveness, jealousy and reliance etc, which is another whole issue in itself.

All in all, remember that you are your own person. That you are capable and able to achieve and get what you desire, relating to aspects outside your romantic relationship, by yourself.

A relationship should not define who you are but support and compliment the already existing you.

65 - Whale Spirit; Trust in the great mystery.

One of you might be very interested in this relationship and it’s justified. You’re curious and that’s alright, even good as you can learn things that you might not know before. 

However, it might go to the point that you want to know each and every little details and crevices of the relationship - how it will go etc. 

There are things that you are meant to not know and just experience as that is the most important aspect, You could become so invested in learning and uncovering this relationship that you fail to appreciate and experience the relationship in the current moment. 

It’s okay to not know. Trust in yourself, each other and the relationship. It will go how it should. Just enjoy the ride. 

It’s okay to dive deep and learn but you have to understand and accept that there will always be things that will still be hidden from you and that’s okay. It’s part of what gives this the magical feeling. 

There’s no reason for you to remove that from the relationship by fully learning about what caused it. 

Communicate with your partner and just enjoy the moment. Take each other out of it if they get too invested. Also, you don’t want to end up unintentionally not giving your partner attention.

18 - Deer Spirit; Bring a gentle touch.

One or both of you might be very volatile or tend to hold onto things for a long time especially when it comes to arguments. 

With each other, it is important to remember to communicate calmly to each other or take the time to calm down become working things out. Don’t get too rough with words with each other, such as attacking each other with things that is not even part of the argument. 

Don’t say unnecessary things that will hurt the other especially with arguments. 

Apologising as well, make sure it does not come out as off-handed. 

Also, be gentle when forgiving each other. Don’t put on the front as if you are reluctantly accepting their apology. 

In addition, don’t be too hard on yourselves. If you did something wrong or hurt your partner, apologise and learn from it. Don’t keep beating yourselves up about it. You are meant to make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes does not define who you are as long as you make an effort to improve. Don’t keep falling back to the same old habits if it harms you, your partner and the relationship.

Also, both of you could very well be protective of each other and your relationship. This doesn’t mean it is bad but rather, you might be explosive when people outside your relationship comments on it or about you and/or your partner in the relationship. 

You might have a tendency to lash out at them and it could very well put you in a bad light. Communicate calmly with them. 

Bring a gentle touch to every aspects of your life and communicate calmly. It’s okay to protect you, your partner and your relationship but don’t insult another even if they insulted yours. Don’t place yourselves in a bad light and by extension, your position as it is also a method of protecting you, your partner and your relationship.

Listen to others as well, sure it sucks to hear the opinion of another about your relationship, but it could bring underlying issues to light that the both of you should work on. Stay open and don’t lash out at others. 

[ Does your partner have a mustache or beard? I get a feeling that he might have or at least is interested in having one. 😂 also, one or both of you might look younger than you are. That the partner find that the other have a very child-like quality and innocence to them that they enjoy and adore, (and wants to protect) ] 

[Why are you guys so cute?]

All the best for your relationship!

Support and love each other!

We hope the both of you will overcome any obstacles and challenges that comes your way! 😁

We hope this had helped you, 🌻 Alejandra!

For now, the little birdie shall return home 🏡 ~ Ring our doorbell whenever!

Rest well 💤 ~

[hes-writer]

Two of Us (2)

 Summary: Y/N’s trying to make it on her own 

Warnings: angst, mentions of death

Word Count: 1436 words

The day was picture perfect. The sun was at its brightest, beating down on the backs of the visitors, dressed in black for the event. Birds were tweeting, flying in the open air against a backdrop of blue skies and puffy white clouds. The grass beneath their feet was a healthy green.

“He was a good man,” Adam said solemnly to Y/N after the service. She nodded along, a stoic expression plastered on her face. It seemed that she wasn’t even listening to the condolences being offered by his friends and family.

Y/N sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, watching people around her pack up the four-pole tent that served as a shade. She scanned as burly men stacked rows upon rows of chairs which were sat on by his loved ones not thirty minutes after she last saw him in the flesh. The ground where he now lay, six feet under, overlay layers of soil that squatted over his body.

She watched it all in slow motion--it seemed. He was gone yet the world continued to power through as if nothing had happened. He was her world and without him, she felt lost.  Y/N couldn't seem to get her legs to move from underneath-- not even when the man in charge requested for her to do so because they had to leave for another occasion. She could see that the man was growing frustrated over her immobilized body, fingers twitching at his side.

“Ma’am we need to get going,” He said in a stern voice. Y/N remained expressionless, staring at him with an empty look in her eyes that the man actually cowered back a bit.

She didn't move or speak.

The man scratched his head agitatedly, “We really need that chai---,”

“It’s just a chair!” She snapped, eyes infuriated with pain and sorrow. “I lost the love of my life today and all you care about is a goddamn chair,” For a moment, she let the events of the past few days take its toll on her shoulders, slouching against the plastic in a moment of weakness but Y/N straightened her back as soon as it touched the surface.

She kicked her body upwards, eyeing the man who sighed in relief. She headed to the car that she drove alone, seeing Anne and Gemma approaching her slowly.

“Are you going to be okay?” Anne asked, softly letting her hand graze the sleeveless part of her arm. Y/N nodded in response, her throat feeling a tad too dry to let words escape its confines.

Y/N leaned in for a hug from his mother, her eyelashes touching her red cheeks. She breathed in deeply, composing herself. Gemma patted her back gently, murmuring comforting words in her ear.

----

It was another night where Y/N woke up in cold sweat--her body shivering from how lucid her dream was. He was right there laying beside her. She could feel the warmth from his body radiate to her, she could graze her fingers lightly on the bridge of his nose, towards the tip and she swore she could sense the softness of his lips against her own. Yet as she took a slight glance to her left shoulder, she saw nothing but clean, unwrinkled sheets where no one had laid for the past couple of weeks.

She didn’t allow herself to sleep on his side of the bad no matter how much the urge in her body pushed her to. It was his side and doing so made her feel a twinge of guilt. His smell lingered to her nostrils, a little fainter each day but it was still there. A droplet splashed against the tan bedsheets, making the spot darker than the rest. Y/N flicked on the lights in their bedroom.

Y/N sat up abruptly, sheets jostling across her lap. She was trying so very hard to be strong, but every now and then the dam breaks. Tears flushed down her cheeks and she couldn’t do anything to stop the waterfall. Despite not doing much at all lately, she somehow released enough tears to fill a tub.

Sobs broke through her body, echoing from the four walls that held memories of them together and-- now, just her. It pierced her ears repeatedly and sometimes she wondered if the universe held a grudge against her or something because she couldn’t point out an action as to why she deserved to go through so much pain.

Her hair was a tangled mess and if he was here--she was sure that he would stroke the strands with his long fingers and place her head on his chest. He was so caring, so sweet and so beautiful. But now, he was gone. All that remained of him were his items carelessly discarded or clothes folded neatly in the closet--all was left untouched. The memories they shared embedded deep in her mind, securing them to the best of her ability. She didn’t want to forget him, but at the same time, she wished to rid of the pounding grief that she cannot escape.

The diamond on her finger was twisted and turned, contemplating if she still had the right to wear it because after all-- they weren't legally married. He promised her that they would wed, ensured her that they would be together and that their wedding could be the trashiest or most grandiose-- as long as he married her, he was happy.

“You promised, H,” She hiccupped, clutching her finger to her chest as if it may somehow bring him back to her. Her tears slowly escalated to one of frustration and she couldn’t help but let her anger out on him. “You promised me we would be together--that we would get married and have children,”

“A little family of our own,” Y/N glanced at the cold side of the bed, imagining his figure reassuring her that they were going to make everything come true. “What happened to that, huh?”

Snot ran down her cupid’s bow and she messily wiped it away with the back of her hand. Her eyes were stinging a bit from the rupture of the air against it, yet tears continued to develop and fall as effortlessly.

“Why did you have to go?” She questioned, looking up to the ceiling--looking for hope and courage. “Why did you leave me?” Y/N whispered the words against her lips, breaths of air wafting in the abyss. It was just her now-- there was no more Harry and Y/N.

“I wish it was me instead,”

Y/N didn’t know how she was going to get through this. She wasn’t sure if she was strong enough. Her heart was left with him and it disappeared along when he passed. She was angry with the world; angry at the vicious man who didn’t care about others’ well-being. She was angry with Harry for leaving her desolated from the world but deep inside she knew that it was only out of denial and grief why she blamed him.

He was something else; completely unique from others but somehow he and Y/N fit together. They conquered the world step-by-step, hand in hand; they were nothing without each other.

At the back of her mind, she envisioned their hypothetical family and it brought a smile to her tear-stricken face. In that scene, both Harry and her slow-danced to the harmony of Harry’s favorite song-- the same one that was supposed to be played at their wedding, but was played at his funeral instead.

---

“Flowers in the window?” Y/N raised a brow, looking at the tape he had made and given to her on their anniversary. He smiled shyly, refusing to look her in the eyes.

“Yeah, I um, I thought it would be,” He puffed his cheeks, “nice.”

---

Their child watched from her play mat, sitting on her bum and clapping enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. Y/N imagined baby angel to have the same dimples and unruly hair that Harry had.

The moon was shining through the gaps of the curtain. Y/N was hopelessly reminiscing even though she was aware that it would bring her further sadness. How badly she wished that Harry was still with her. But from now on, it’s her and baby love.

“It’s just the two of us now, bubby.” Y/N muttered sweetly with a crack in her voice. “Daddy’s gonna watch us from up there,” She pointed to the sky, grasping the tiny bump forming on her tummy. It was about the size of a grain of rice.

“We love you, H”

----

omg

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[sigritandtheelves]

I don’t need or expect a response, but I love your writing and would enjoy a nice romantic fix of Mulder going down on Scully until she begged him to stop

The Moon is Down

Explicit | 2.3k wds | S5; first time; angst; smut

A/N: This prompt is quite a bit naughtier than the ones I usually get, but I am being brave this week. I’m sorry this isn’t quite what you asked for—I swear, I intended for it to be a simple smut-nugget. It’s a little heavier, though. Set in season 5, after The Red and the Black. Thank you for the prompt!

_+_

His love was called away by the stars and he followed her to a field of blackened corpses. Her life, he learned, was bound by a sliver of metal: his wild and true thing, harnessed. But she was not among the dead.

He’d spent months telling himself not to believe. Even when she reached to hold his hand across the vast space he’d built between them and cried out in fear, he told himself no. No, we are alone on this rock. No, you must not love her. He’d traded his belief for her life, he thought. His love, too. To keep her safe. It was his price.

But after what he’d seen at the Air Force base (a faceless man, an impossible immolation, corroboration of this wild tale of cosmic struggle), he didn’t know what to believe anymore.

In his apartment, dark but for the ambient glow of streetlamps, his fishtank, Mulder stared at his hands and thought what a fool he must be. So easily swayed by what he’d been shown, so eager to claim ownership of this Truth. So lost.

“Mulder.”

He glanced toward her. She was with him in the darkness. Inexplicably, she was with him still. He bit at the cuticle of his thumb and thought of her in that hospital bed, red-cheeked and disoriented. She pulled his hand away and held it in hers.

“Mulder, talk to me.”

HIs forehead crumpled and he shook his head. “I can’t.”

A squeeze of his fingers—so warm, her hands, on this cold February night. Scully rubbed the pad of her thumb across his knuckles. His love, he thought. She was his love. He could not have traded it away. “You can tell me,” she said, so quiet, she who would swim in the shadows with him for reasons he could not fathom.

“It was your birthday last week,” he said.

She was quiet, but he heard her slow, deep intake of breath.

“I’m sorry.”

“Mulder, you don’t need to be sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For every single thing.”

She took her hand away, and then for reasons that again he didn’t understand, he felt her arms come around him. She pulled him low, his cheek to her shoulder, and her nails scratched through the hair above the back of his neck, soothing. “You want the truth so badly, Mulder. I know you do. You want to know everything so you can make the right choices. So you can undo some of the evil that’s been done.”

His nose touched the peach-soft skin above her collar bone. She smelled like heaven. He let his hands come to the swell of her hip, to the dip of her spine. Around and around in circles he went, like the snake on her back. How prescient she’d been.

Her lips brushed his neck and he felt something inside himself tremble. “But there’s more to truth than knowledge, Mulder.” Her lips again on his neck, deliberate this time: a kiss. “Can I tell you a truth?”

He lifted his head to look at her in the blue-black dim. Such vulnerability. He cupped her cheek. “Tell me.”

He watched her courage falter for a moment, and then watched her wrangle it back into place. Her brows furrowed. “You’re already good enough,” she told him. “You’re good enough to be loved.”

The tremble became a quake, a heartquake that shook loose his resolve, and he squeezed shut his eyes against its rumbling. No one had ever said such a thing to him. The words concealed a possibility she hadn’t said, but that he wanted to believe nonetheless—that he was loved.

“Scully,” he said, because it was the only word he could muster.

She curled her hand around his forearm. “And you’re more than the work. You’re more than this fight and what you can know to be fact. You of all people should understand that.”

He breathed deep, let it out slow, lowered his face to touch his forehead to hers. Did he deserve this? Could he let himself love her the way he knew she should be loved? Could anyone? “You deserve more than this,” he said, voice rough, the words touching her lips along with their mingled breath.

“So do you,” she said with fierce eyes that spoke only love, not regret.

He kissed her, then. He ceded to the trembling thing inside him and took her lips with his. She let him. She kissed him back. She touched his neck, gripped his bicep, opened her mouth. She wanted him. When her tongue, sweeping across his lip, made him bold, he slipped his fingers under the hem of her shirt to touch the impossible softness of her skin.

“Is this okay?”

She leaned back on his couch and tugged him with her, nodding as she kissed him again, pulled his hand back under her shirt. He moved with her, hard already against the fly of his jeans and lightheaded with the thought of stripping the smart black suit off her body, of laying her across the cushions and tasting her, making love to her. “If it’s what you want,” she said, hesitating, touching his wrist.

He stilled for a moment. Was it? In this moment, yes. He wanted it more than anything. She was solid and good and beautiful and she made him feel human. She was the fire that burned with him for justice and the cool hand that calmed him. Yet, while she was strong, her heart seemed fragile. And he was clumsy in love. He could be impulsive and thoughtless, single-minded. Surely he would hurt her, he thought, and more pain he could not abide.

“Scully,” he said. “Dana,” and he felt her stiffen slightly at the sound of her own first name. His hand was still on the skin over her ribs, which he soothed with small caresses. He looked at her face, her eyes wide in the dim light, marked a secondary vulnerability. She was afraid already that he would hurt her. He kissed her lips again: a reassurance. “I love you,” he told her. “I want you,” he said. “But I am… very afraid of fucking this up.”

She held his gaze and nodded, ran her fingers through his hair and arched her back so that his hand slid upward toward her breast. “Okay,” she said. “But… don’t you think it’s worth the risk?”

Her faith in him seemed unshakeable. The alternative to failure, he had hardly considered. What would his life be like with this version of Dana Scully in it? One who told him he was worthy of love and showed him to prove it? What if he, in turn, could make her happy?

Mulder pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, then bent to place another on her mouth. He let his other hand roam beneath her shirt, brushed a knuckle along the underside of her breast and felt her arch toward him. Oh yes, he thought, it might be worth the risk. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, for you. I’ll make it worth it for you.” And he was unbuttoning her clean white blouse, each little pop a declaration.

He kissed her neck and heard her breath change—he took mental note, a catalogue of responses and pleasures. This hand here. Thumb across the lace over her nipple. Suction at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He read her like Braille and he would not soon forget its story. He tugged off her clothes, one item at a time: jacket, top, bra, pants… panties. The dark of the room had sapped its color, but she glowed: she was a pale arc like moonlight on his couch. He lay her down across the length of it and kissed her mouth again. She palmed his cheeks, lifted her hips against him. “I want you,” she said.

Oh to be wanted and to want in return. His cock was painfully hard at the sight and feel and taste and smell of her. It was so quiet he could hear his own blood calling for her. His love. “Let me taste you first,” he said, and he watched her eyes go wide. She nodded, swallowed hard, and he dipped his head first to her breast. Her nipples pebbled under his tongue. Her knees gripped his ribs. Her fingers cradled his head.

“Oh, Mulder.” It was a sigh.

Her belly next: quivering soft skin under his mouth, while his fingers dipped lower to find coarse hair, heat, and an unmistakable wet slip. He hummed against the skin of her abdomen. “God, Scully.”

“I told you,” she said, and he looked up to find her smiling, coy. He groaned.

Mulder hooked both hands under her knees and pulled them apart gently. There. Right there, this secret she kept every day, that he hadn’t dare let himself think about. He was going to learn it by heart. He bent to taste, and she let out a long, slow, “ohhh.”

She was heaven. She bucked and writhed under him, and he had to hold her hips steady with his thumbs. He paused to look at her and her eyes were wild glints among his throw pillows. He circled and dipped. He kissed. Her breath came in shallow hiccups and her fingers slipped into his hair. They caressed, and then they tugged.

“Please,” she said. “Please stop, I want to…”

He lifted his head again, thumbed the moisture from his chin and caught her eyes. “What do you want?” He asked.

Her hips lifted. Her fingers came to cradle his jaw. “I want all of you,” she said, and then she was tugging at his shirt. He helped her shuck his clothes, watched her eyes follow down his body, her breath catching when his boxers slipped to the floor to reveal his aching cock that dipped toward her as if with a mind of its own. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and reached for him. Small, deft fingers wrapped around him and his eyes fell shut. She squeezed and stroked, getting to know the weight of him, quickening his breath with a more frantic need.

“Scully…”

He felt her toes at the backs of his thighs, pulling him toward her on the couch. He lay between her knees, which lifted again to grip his waist. His arms came to rest beside her shoulders, and the look on her face made his heart ache. It was ravenous hunger, which he was sure matched his own, but she was also smiling: a bloom of joy at her lips and eyes, a painted swath of high color at her cheeks, desaturated by the dark. He kissed her again while her fingers guided him downward, and they gasped into each other’s mouths when he pushed into her.

It did not take either of them long. His knees dug into the couch and her fists gripped at his shoulder blades and her head turned sideways on the pillow to call out in pleasure as they rocked their hips together and he filled her and she squeezed around him until he couldn’t take one more second of this perfect, perfect pressure. He cried out into the nook of her shoulder and neck, felt the inside of her ripple and clench with her own climactic plunge. He held her under him afterward for a long moment, careful not to press her too firmly into the cushions, face still at her neck and hair, kissing the soft skin behind her ear. Her hands swept over his back in indiscernible patterns.

Eventually, Mulder pulled back to look at her face. She glowed still, the smile tucked subtly into the crease of her eyes. His thumb swept over her reddened cheek. “You,” he said, and her smile blossomed fully.

There were several quiet minutes, then, when he separated from her gingerly, disappeared for a moment, then returned with a warm, wet washcloth. The sight of her on his couch, stretched naked, palm behind her head, gave him pause. Had this really happened? He bent to help her clean up, but couldn’t resist pressing another kiss to her swollen mouth.

She was real, and she kissed him back.

But as the dark wore on and carried them toward a drowsy kind of contemplation, wrapped in throw blankets and tucked into the narrow crease of his sofa, he wondered how real. “What will happen?” He asked.

Scully nuzzled the soft hairs between his pectorals, pressed a small kiss above his left nipple. “We’re still us,” she said. “And we don’t have to…” but she didn’t finish. A line of tension formed between them. Here was where he might hurt her, were he not careful, he realized. Here was a juncture of forking paths.

“I love you,” he reassured her. She didn’t look at him, but nodded against his chest. Terrified of  saying, doing, the wrong thing, he stayed quiet. After a while, he felt her arm go slack at his hip, felt her breathing slow. They drifted. They slept.

Two days later, he made plans to take her out. To do this right. He was reaching for his phone (to call a nice restaurant for reservations—he’d spent two hours debating the best one), when it surprised him by ringing. An anonymous voice demanded a clandestine meeting, some group calling themselves the New Spartans, and suddenly he was wrapped in a tangle of lies and deceptions. He was keeping things from her, avoiding her, against his will. He watched her pulling back from him, tucking her heart back into its walled fortress. Everything inside him screamed that he should tell her the truth.

He couldn’t. It ripped him to shreds, holding her at arm’s length. By the time she knew, the thing which had been so beautiful had become a wound between them, another rift walled off by silence. 

Somehow, even while trying to do right, he had managed to do everything wrong.

#season 5 #the red and the black #the pine bluff variant #smut #angst #sorry for the pain #womp womp #a thing i wrote