#hopefully Netflix doesn’t take down my posts

[commenter2]

The Show Must Go On episode review (Hazbin Hotel S1 finale)

The finale of season 1 of Hazbin Hotel. MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! Also long post warning

Did the title of the episode strangely remind anyone else of the failed videogame “Showdown Bandit”? Anyone?

Charlie wishing her mom was there. Likely foreshadowing her appearing near the end.

Charlie really likes a man in uniform. Maybe take some notes on that Vaggie XD.

Looks like we got a glimpse at how Niffy sees the world, which is apparently similar to Randy Cunningham when as the Ninja.

Again CHARLE=PURITY

I’m not liking how Pentious said that quote about living and dying.

During Al’s speech, you can see Charlie realizing that Pen likes Cherri and being happy for him. Charlie is Pen X Cherri shipper confirmed XD

Could Al be really starting to care about the others?

Angel X Husk and Pen X Cherri fanservice, Charlie liking the last one XD

Oh now Cherri is interested in Pen.

COME ON, KISS YOU TWO! YES!!!

Gross, Adam’s personality is rubbing off on Lute. Even Adam is getting uncomfortable with it and considering its Adam that’s saying something.

The Heaven Bucks things sounds really fake, mostly cause I feel like money doesn’t exist/is necessary for Heaven.

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE OUTFITS CHARLIE AND VAGGIE ARE WEARING!?! And why am I getting She-Ra/RWBY vibes from them? Also Charlie is wearing her crown, cute.

I’m intrigued by Charlie’s shield cause I was kind of expecting to see Charlie use her pitchfork along with it, but the shield is still a nice bit of symbolism for how she wants to protect people and not harm anyone…that much. It also shows that she and Vaggie are a great team/couple as Charlie is the defense while Vaggie is the offense.

My fellow DEATH BATTLE fans (which is hopefully a lot of you) get ready to analyze Charlie’s powers, skills, and feats in this fight!

Al’s shield being another feat of how powerful Alastor is, though I wonder if his recent deal with Charlie helped with it?

Aww come one Niffty finally has a chance to go all psycho and all we see is her just stabbing corpses!

While Charlie’s crown is black on the outside, its gold on the inside/other side. Not only do I think this is a Dante’s Inferno reference (it reminds me of the hypocrites’ part but reversed) it also symbolizes how even though she is the daughter of the Devil, Charlie is still a good person.

Alastor’s using shadow jutsu!

OK I DID NOT SEE AL’S VOICE CHANGING after his cane got destroyed. At least this explains how those times I noticed his voiced changed in previous episodes.

Valentino was really saddened when Vox said seeing Alastor about to die was better then sex XD. It’s also funny cause there is a similar line in Netflix’s Castlevania series, which I could definitely see fans making parodies of soon.

Wait WTF is going on now with his voice? Ugh.

That’s our Charlie, even when in a war she is still apologizing. Also her glitter is WAY more effective than Dale Gribble’s pocket sand XD

Also if you slow down the scene enough, you can see that Charlie’s shield damaged and dented the angelic spear, meaning its likely made of something stronger then the angelic steel mentioned by Carmilla in “Hello Rosie”

Charlie shooting fireworks from her fingertips, a nice example of her powers AND a callback to the pilot.

NO NOT THE EGGBOIS! Luckily Angel finally used his secret set of arms to save one of them, we even get to hear his theme song.

And Pen X Cherri fans REJOICED! Also again showing how shallow Cherri can be.

Aww this can’t be goWHAT THE FUCK! I couldn’t even finish writing this sentence because of how fast Pen’s death was! I mean it was implied he was going to die but I thought it be more dramatic than that! Can the Helluva Boss writers at least do this for when they finally kill Striker, or have it happen in my episode idea where Moxxie and his father in law do it?

OOO ITS TIME FOR CHALIE’S DEMON FORM. And in a Sailor Moon kind of way too.

WAIT THAT’S IT? It’s just her regular horns and a tail. The writers really need to amp up these “full demon” forms of the characters as this, Ozzie’s, and Mammon’s forms have been really disappointing to me especially when compared to Stolas and even Helsa’s odd form from the pilot. I hope that this is some kind of semi form or one of many transformations of Charlie’s, and her REAL demon form is something more monstrous but it results in her losing control.

I do like Razzle and Dazzle being dragons, as I did recall them having such a power but this is better than what I was thinking they’d transform into.

DAZZLE NO! At least he died protecting Charlie.

VAGGIE VS. LUTE ROUND 2 (ding ding sound effect from episode)

(Adam slaps Charlie) Again we need fanart of Lucifer and Lilith kicking Adam’s ass.

So a part of me likes that Vaggie spared Lute cause it shows she is better than the so called “angel”, but a part of me knows this is going to bite back later on.

Lute riping her own arm off just proves the previous statement. Still I wonder what a cyborg angel will be like.

You can control fire and shoot fireworks from your fingers, you these things to make Adam let go of you Charlie!

SO Adam is wearing a mask, like I brought up before. I wonder what he looks like under it.

I’m not mad at Lucifer coming in late, cause he likely couldn’t as he probably realized it would just lead to more problems involving Heaven, but again he shows that he is the best dad so far in the series by coming in to save Charlie. Take notes Stolas!

Huh, Adam looks pretty normal looking, even looks a bit like Lute. I was expecting something really ugly under the mask like a pale complexion, sweat, and an unshaven face especially since he has worm that the entire time we have seen him.

OH HO now were getting that Adam ass kicking. Too bad that line from Lucifer kind of ruined it. I mean I can kind of see it being on brand with his goofy personality but still.

Again no one is saying Lilith’s name here. Also I know Lucifer is likely joking about him and Eve being together and just referencing the apple, but I really want to hear Lucifer say he’s only been with Lilith for all his life, then took a break after the divorce.

“NOT THE HOTEL”, is what I would be saying if the trading cards weren’t released early. Still devastating to see.

Like when Adam was choking her, Charlie had the means to save herself there as she is confirmed to have wings. Maybe their waiting for a special occasion to use them.

(Charlie transforms) What was that? At least this confirms that Charlie can transform and confirm that hoove/foot idea I brought up in the last review. I wonder if this is some kind of power from her mother?

Okay Lucifer’s demon form is pretty good. This does make me wonder what that shadow thing of his form the pilot is, if that is still canon. Hopefully it is and it confirms that Charlie can have multiple demon forms.

Holy crap they killed Adam off and Death by Niffy no less! I mean I wanted Adam and Lute to get out of the picture so someone better could take the role of angelic antagonist, but I never thought they would just kill Adam off. At least Vaggie is really happy about this, and I don’t blame her XD. It’s nice to see her smile like this.

Again we see that Lucifer has restraint, which is still interesting.

Lute took his halo. I sense some trouble coming from this. Fingers crossed that it involves how Heaven is okay with Adam being gone, and Lute becoming the thing she hates to destroy Hell AND the “traitors” of Heaven.

I’m still mix on Katie Killjoy being voiced by Brandon. It is making me wonder if Katie was always going to be like this or if they’re altering her to be more like Brandon’s female characters like Bryce. I mean I always though Katie would have a role where she just keeps spreading bad things about Charlie’s hotel, even making things up/ hire others to cause trouble for Charlie so the news can keep reporting on her. Heck she is even thanking them which I never saw pilot Katie never doing through she could be doing it to save face on livestream television. It’s still a funny idea and it has even remined me that there was a time in animation where shows had reoccurring characters whose main thing about them was being obvious references to other fictional or even real characters like Total Drama had characters such as Harold being a Napoleon Dynamite parody and Anne Maria referencing Snooki, Dr. Orpheus from the Venture Bros. was a cheap Dr. Strange knockoff (but still really funny), and there is one character in Atop the 4th Wall that I won’t spoil here cause it’s that crazy, so check it out for yourselves when you can.

Another cameo of Baxter and ARACKNISS!

I also wonder if the Exterminations will be put to a halt here as pointed out in the sliding text on the news channel. It would be interesting to see if Hell really does have an overpopulation problem, and what that would look like.

I’m surprised the V’s aren’t reacting to this more, more so with Vox but it’s likely that he saw the fight with Adam and Alastor and now has a plan on destroying Alastor. That would be cool to see in the next season.

THANK GOD FAT NUGGETS SURIVED! I think VIvzie would have had a riot on her hands if she allowed him to die.

Lucifer said the episode title!

So it looks like Alastor DID care for the others, but now he is dedicated to getting his freedom back from what I still think could be the Lilith imposter who will also be an upcoming deadly force/threat

KeeKee has a Keyblade form!

Yeah Vox and Val are definitely going to use this news for personal gain. The real question is if Velvette will aid them, as her recording them say all this feels like she will try and go out on her own, dragging her allies down in the process. Fitting given her song from “Scrambled Eggs”.

Nice song, great that both Sir Pentious AND Dazzle got memorials, and the new hotel looks amazing as it has a little bit of symbolism from all the others like Husk’s casino vibe and Angel’s career.

PEN IS IN HEAVEN! Emily is loving it while Sera looks confused and scared, BOTH cause she has never saw this happen before or knows that this will kick off some serious consequences like a version of the Armageddon prediction. This is great as now even if the recent fan theory of Emily becoming a fallen angel happens, Charlie now has another ally in Heaven to help spread her redemption plan on that side of things, great for what I can see happening in the next season.

Oh hey everyone its “Lilith”. Yeah I still believe in the “Imposter Lilith” theory that I’ve been talking about lately, and the sunglasses bit adds to it since it is hiding her eyes, like how her face was covered in “Dad Beat Dad”. Plus there have been many times in stories where sunglasses were used to hide something in fiction. Also in the past, we’ve gotten info on her saying how she would like to fight against Heaven, so its odd that she would want sanctuary in it unless she has plans that involve her being there. The biggest clue would have to be that the real Lilith would likely have cheered when she heard Adam was dead. I did talk about how the Imposter could likely want to destroy everything, so for all we know she is pretending to be Lilith who wanted sanctuary in Heaven (if they even know she is there) which is all just a ruse to get info on how to destroy Heaven to fulfill her life’s work and if anything ever happens, the Imposter can rely on her servant Lute and the Exorcist to aid her.

I will admit that it COULD be the real Lilith. I did make a recent post on my Tumblr going over how I think Lilith actually recruited the Imposter to help her take down Heaven a peg a long item ago, but she eventually realized the Imposter had bigger plans that involved destroying everything in existence and Lilith has since been trying to stop the Imposter. At one point things could have gotten so bad to a point that she had to hide in Heaven (again if they even know she is there) until she thought of a plan to stop it like having Lute work for her (again maybe Al works for the Imposter) and similar to what I have in my “Season 1 is a test for Charlie” Lilith knew Adam wasn’t up for the task of defending everyone from the Imposter, so she had to install Lute as leader of the Exorcist so there would be at least a small capable army to fight against the Imposter/upcoming threat if things got bad. However now that Charlie’s redemption plan is getting more support and is proven to be true, Lilith could be scared that the Imposter could go after her and Lucifer next, so I think next season she will try and convince Charlie to stop her goals until they have a plan of stopping the Imposter. Maybe since she made a deal with Lute, she has no choice but to stop Charlie or risk losing the one chance they have at saving everything from the Imposter…until she learns that her daughter was able to make an army to stop the Exorcist which could lead to Lilith changing her mind and maybe think that Heaven and Hell should work together to stop the Imposter/big threat. Even then there could be consequences as we don’t know what exactly happens if a deal with a demon is ever broken. Would said demon die or would the natural of the forces of the universe go crazy until something happens? For any non Percy Jackson fans and those that don’t care about spoilers for it, look up “Trials of Apollo” and “River Styx” to get an understanding of what I mean by broken deals.

That was a GREAT episode AND a great finale for the first season of Hazbin Hotel.

We got tons of action, drama, suspense, fanservice, and mystery just like how I like my shows. The finale was really good cause its on track for what I’ve been saying I would like to see Charlie go through when it comes to the next step of trying to convince the people of Heaven and Hell her redemption plan is a good thing in general for the afterlife.

The only minor problems I have with it is that they didn’t utilize Niffty as much as I thought they would in the battle.

When it comes to the season as a whole it was great, with episode 4 being the worst as we all knew those events were coming but thanks to Helluva Boss it was made less serious to me.

I also agree with other fans that biggest problem the season had was that there should have been more episodes. I mean people know how popular Hazbin Hotel AND Helluva Boss is so it’s a bit odd that they didn’t get more then 8 episodes, especially since they aren’t the usual hour long episodes that are everywhere. Not to mention how half the season came out all at once here on Amazon Prime.

Apparently this is a big problem with Amazon Prime shows in general, BUT luckily given how well received the whole season has been (wordplay pun not intended), I’m hopeful that this will convince the people at A24 and Prime to give Vivzie and the HH cast more funding to make MORE episodes for next season, like maybe 14 this time. Sure this could delay the release of season 2, which is apparently already being made, but I bet I’m not alone when I say I’d be okay with such a delay if it means more Hazbin Hotel.

Hopefully next season though there are less trailers and clips released, another reason why there should be more episodes to help dimmish such things, AND if there is another early release on A24 it should just be like 2 days before the season comes on Amazon Prime and NOT a whole week.

I’m also calling it now that the season 2 episode premiere of Hazbin Hotel will start with a news segment with Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench recapping some of the events of last season and telling us what has happened to both the characters and Hell/Heaven since the finale. I also predict that Lilith, whether the real one or the Imposter posing as her, will appear at the end of said episode starting off that season’s main story.

I definitely want to hear your thoughts on not only this episode, but also on the entire season so don’t be shy. What do you think/hope will happen in season 2? What kind of episodes or stories would you like to see in the next season? What theories do you have?

LET ME HEAR IT!!!

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin hotel spoilers

[lansplaining]

Why did JGY make trouble for Jim Zixuan on the night Wen Ning killed him by accident? I didn’t understand that part of the novel/cql.

i've talked about this before, but a) I can't find it because tumblr and b) I'm always really excited to talk about it again, because clarifying this moment really made such a huge difference in my understanding of JGY's character. also as soon as i started really digging in, it, uh, became a huge post. sorry.

so my initial instinct was to draw a really sharp delineation between CQL and MDZS, because the second flautist completely changes the tenor of the event. and to a certain extent, it does! CQL JGY had a reasonable expectation that JZX would show up and get killed, because he knew the second flautist could take control of Wen Ning, or at the very least cause things to totally go to hell, hopefully in a way that also resulted in Wei Wuxian being killed. but when it comes to the question of motivation, the two are actually way more aligned than I realized-- it’s simply a case of CQL JGY directing his feelings in a more active (”villainous”) way. 

so, CQL first. when Lan Xichen asks if he “singlehandedly” arranged for Jin Zixuan to die, he says (from the Netflix subs), “It’s true I didn’t run into him by accident.” WWX demands details, and we get a flashback to JGY manipulating Zixuan into going after Jin Zixun. I guess we can assume he had a backup plan for getting him there if this very light-touch tactic didn’t work, but it does seem worth noting that he doesn’t even begin to explicitly suggest that Jin Zixuan should follow-- it’s really an amazing display of how JGY has gotten to know and understand Zixuan a million times better than Zixuan (who literally suggests that JGY should have tried to stop Zixun...... Zixuan please have you observed your family dynamics at all) has bothered to get to know JGY. Then we cut to Su Mishan playing the flute as JGY plays the guqin (remote control evil music??) and the implication seems to be that ‘kill Zixuan’ was directly part of the musical instruction Wen Ning received. 

okay, so, as Jin Ling immediately asks (and can we give props to the mix of anger and sadness and disbelief and betrayal of the very obvious love and trust he has in JGY in his performance!!!)-- why? 

JGY (after tearfully reaching for Jin Ling’s face and then recoiling!!! this scene makes me crazy!!!!) replies: “Why? A-Ling. Could you please tell me why? Tell me. Why do I put a smile on my face for everyone, yet I won’t necessarily receive the lowest form of respect in return while your father, who was arrogant and self-important, was sought after by people? Can you tell me why, even though we shared the same father, your dad could spend the day at home at leisure, with the love of his life and playing with his child, while I had to be deployed by my father by blood to do all the dirty work without even getting the slightest appreciation? Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin Guangshan could host a grand banquet for one son and meanwhile, watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down the Carp Tower? He asked his man to kick me down the Carp Tower from the top of the stairs to the very end. A-Ling, now you tell me, why did all these things happen to me?

I believe this is our first time learning this story from JGY’s own mouth, and the first time we see the flashback of him actually being kicked down the stairs while JGS looks on. 

He concludes: “It is not that I do not want to be a good man. To this father of mine, I once had hopes as well. In the past, as long as it was his command, no matter if it was to set Wei Wuxian up or to protect Xue Yang, no matter how foolish it was, how much hatred I would get, I would obey without hesitation. A-Ling, do you know what it was that made me lose hope completely? It wasn’t that in his eyes I was less than nothing to him when compared to Jin Zixuan, or that he took back Mo Xuanyu, or that he wouldn’t even let me hold you, or that he tried every possible way to make me a mere figurehead.” 

by this point, he’s totally forgotten about JZX and we’re basically back onto why he killed JGS.

as for MDZS! from the ExR translation because that's uh the screencap I have saved from last time lol

then, WWX asks why, if that’s the case, he had to kill JZX, and JGY gives a sassy reply that basically dodges the question. 

so, in typical JGY fashion in this scene, he starts out with the pettiest and most uncharitable interpretation of his own actions, the one he seems to expect people will most readily accept and jump to. but as he goes on, it gets a little more complex. 

the thing that he barely touches in either version but is very distinctly present-- and that totally poleaxed me the first time I noticed it-- is that Jin Guangshan had ordered him to kill Wei Wuxian. and his very reasonable response to this is, 'okay, but literally how???' 

the CQL version hammers home way more than MDZS, because of where and how it reveals information, that JGY is undoubtedly fueled by envy and resentment of JZX and the fact that he has the life JGY feels like he deserved. like MDZS, this bleeds into thinking about his dad, and MDZS ultimately lays it out for us (if we believe that line of narration) that it was really about hating JGS and not Zixuan at all. i think CQL’s arrangement of information nudges things back a little more to the envy argument, but it does so in a way where we’re given new, sympathetic information about JGY all in a rush, and shown it in flashback so that it can really actively hit. and I think the reactions we get from the characters who hear this are kind of sympathetic! they’re clearly extremely conflicted about this whole situation, but no one is reacting with outright disbelief or disgust. i think this works well in the world with a second flautist (my feelings about that plot device are for a different time, but you can guess, I’m sure)-- more active resentment of Zixuan specifically leads to him deciding more actively to murder Zixuan, not just try and make life hard for him in a way that will likely lead to violence, but not inevitably death. 

so this is how I interpret JGY's thought process in the moment he sent Zixuan to follow Wei Wuxian: he has been ordered to kill WWX, and presumably told to use his journey to or time at Koi Tower for the 100 Days Ceremony to do it. JGY recognizes that this is probably impossible, and definitely impossible without causing massive collateral damage. his resentment of Jin Zixuan hits a boiling point at this-- on top of everything else, their father is happy to basically send JGY to his death to attempt this assassination while JZX gets to happily plan a party for his baby and not think about these things at all. he thinks, “wouldn't it be nice if JZX had to deal with these problems for once,” and decides “fuck it, let's see what happens” (or, in CQL, “fuck it, let’s get rid of him”). in MDZS, he has no way of knowing that JZX or indeed anyone else would be killed, though I think he's not so naive as to think that violence isn't a likely outcome-- though one has to say that the form of violence that did take place was pretty unexpected to everyone involved! Zixuan’s a strong cultivator, he could have survived most normal fights, probably even against a normal Wen Ning. but as an active fratricide attempt, it's way too contingent and uncontrolled. 

in MDZS, at the end of the day, I think that JGY was just really angry, wanted some petty revenge, and decided to see what would happen if JZX was in his place for once. the tenor in CQL is only slightly different: he actively chooses to try and get Zixuan killed, but the emotional push is the same, and I do think is likewisesomething that just comes together in the moment from a combination of the immediate problem (I’m meant to kill WWX before he gets here) and immediate circumstances (fuck JZX and his nice little baby shower while I have to assassinate the most powerful cultivator in the world). 

#book reference #show reference #ask answered #okay also pointing out typos annoys me so i didn't want to do it in the body #but Jim Zixuan made me CACKLE

[willievermakeithome]

EAW (Season 1) is Finished

My relevant notes, for whatever they’re worth, regarding my re-watch of the final episodes of EAW - I’m gonna avoid talking about moments that I feel were OOC for the most part (except the most glaringly obvious examples - YES I’M TALKING ABOUT MINWOO, WE’RE GOIONG THERE), because there’s enough debate about it and it’s all mostly open to personal interpretation anyways. But I’m gonna try to hit the big points, what improvements I hope to see in Season 2, and then I’m gonna share a little conspiracy theory that I’d love to get other’s opinions on. (this is a long post)

As an autistic that loves k dramas and romance, I was beyond excited - and also incredibly trepidatious - when this drama was first recommended to me on my Netflix home screen. The first 10ish episodes are by far the best in my estimation, and I can at least say for certain I will be re-watching those. The second half of the season ... gives me more mixed feelings.

- Hanbada is the big bad. I saw a post a while back (I’m sorry, I tried to find it but I like and reblog too many things! 😭) talking about how Hanbada is the big bad (bc social justice, fighting for the people, anti-capitalism, etc etc) and I think this is absolutely the direction they’re going. We’re not supposed to have rosy tinted glasses on about where Woo Youngwoo works - and perhaps this also kind of tied into Minwoo’s initial purpose in the show.

I’ve noticed more and more as each case comes about that I am less and less on Hanbada’s side; I think it’s partly why they talked early on in the series about the conundrum of morals & ethics so many times, exploring the grey area in many ways, and also pointed out that while Hanbada does take on a lot of public interest cases, at the end of the day - they’re a business and making money/winning cases comes first before anything else. The reveal that the CEO is pretty ruthless and has no issue using WYW as a chess piece against TSM, only heightens my distrust of the firm. Ultimately I see Season 2 digging even more into that (why the fuck are these two powerhouse women beefing anyway?) and I think it’s going to heavily tie in with Youngwoo’s growth as a lawyer and HOPEFULLY THIS WILL ALSO INCLUDE ATTORNEY JUNG ☺️✨

- The Tae Su Mi Dilemma. I don’t like that she’s portrayed negatively for not wanting to have a baby in the first place, but that’s generally where my defense of her ends. The minute she learned about WYW she tried to have her shipped off because of her own political desires and she can fuck right off with that. And then the plotting in the shadows with Minwoo that eventually fell apart ... But to be honest, I feel like the show didn’t have a clue what they were doing with TSM’s character; the show painted TSM as this badass powerhouse of a character but at the same time reduces her to the simple title of mother and I feel like that sends mixed messages to me as the viewer. I’m guessing that they were aiming for a morally grey vibe, but she ends up just kind of reading as ... muddy to me. 

However, even though TSM stepped down from the Minister of Justice candidacy, do we really think she’s just gonna move on and let Hanbada’s CEO out-maneuver her??? I think not. More than anything TSM has been characterized as political and calculating so I think there will be more clashing between the two of them in Season 2.

- The Minwoo Redemption. 

*I walk on the stage and check the mic, clears throat* 

THAT. Was not a redemption arc. That was a guy who quite literally just suddenly stopped being a huge gigantic ass. Randomly. And then they threw in a love line for shits and giggles and were like “love and romance will fix him and his problems”.

No. Rejected. I fully rejected that and I think Minwoo’s storyline and the TSM vs CEO storyline are some of the most poorly done ones on the show. Minwoo out and out tried to frame Youngwoo and get her fired in episode 12 (I believe it was) and then in episode 14 he’s biting his tongue so he doesn’t spill her deep dark secret while he’s tipsy???? The math ain’t mathin’. Taking accountability for wrong you’ve done is a big part of being redeemed and Minwoo hasn’t had to take accountability for SHIT. I’m not saying he needs to prostrate himself before WYW and beg for forgiveness, but I am not happy about the 🤷‍♀️’guess he’s cool now’🤷‍♀️ narrative that’s being portrayed. The guy should be like “yeah, that thing I did was fucked up”, at the very least! The bar is so low y’all 😭

I hope they develop him more in Season 2 - a true redemption arc could be well done if some real work was put into his character development. For some reason I’m envisioning a scenario where Soo-yeon’s dad tries to bribe him; Idk enough about his background to know if that would make sense story-wise, but it would be interesting if he was put into the position of choosing between his crush and explicit money/power - which is what he’s always wanted. If they’re really gonna try to redeem him and make him a character I don’t wrinkle my nose at every-time he appears on my screen (no hate to the actor, he’s obviously done a fantastic job) - give me something meaty 🥩 give me grief and desire and conflict and none of this wamby pamby “well if this is what Soo-yeon wants, I guess I’ll do it” nonsense.

which, just as a side note, Minwoo and Soo-yeon having a ‘romantic moment’ while bonding over Youngwoo’s sPeCiAl TrEaTmEnT (literally right after she was KICKED OFF A CASE) is not, and never will be, the move. #sorrynotsorry 🤷‍♀️

- I love Attorney Jung, but he needs to slow the fuck down. You love him, I love him, we all agree he’s been a great mentor and teacher and that’s where his strength lies. I’m not even terribly mad about the Cancer storyline because he lived and it gave us that amazing found family scene with the noodles 🍜 😭 (I wanted to eat noodles so bad after that ep!) However, while the wink wink nudge nudge he gave us at the end was funny, boi better be taking a break! He doesn’t have to quit working entirely, but he does need to slow down - and I’d love to see him leave to start his own practice or go work with Attorney Ryu at hers. He can still do important and meaningful work without running himself ragged to do so, or working for large money hungry corporation that will make him sacrifice his integrity - and! He can take Attorney Woo with him. ✨ Their work dynamic was my favorite by the end of the show. Pre-episode 12-16, it would’ve been Youngwoo and Junho’s but we really didn’t see as much of that comradery from them during the second half. 

sidenote: did anyone else notice that Jung would start waving his arm (almost in a time out gesture) whenever he saw people might be offended by something Youngwoo said? like *waves hand* “she doesn’t mean it like that” - I thought this was so cute and a great acting choice

- The love confession and the cat thing. I’ve tried to find this analogy charming but I just can’t. I read a post explaining the translation difference between ‘owner’ and ‘butler’ and while that does seem like a cute cultural reference I just might not be getting, I can’t get past what the comparison signifies for me, personally. It reminded me of a tiktok I watched, criticizing pop-culture and more main stream media for constantly portraying the neurodivergent and autistic characters as an “other”, as ‘not human’ - the list going on from robots, to aliens, to animals or monsters. 

In Star Trek, its Spock (alien) and Data (android). In Marvel, it’s Groot (alien), Drax (alien), Mantis (alien), Rocket Raccoon (animal? Science lab experiment? 😬), and Vision (AI). And those are some cool characters - don’t get me wrong, but if you knock out every single one that is A) not human and/or B) a gigantic asshole, that leaves very few characters left for me to try to see myself in. Even in Woo Youngwoo’s analogy that she explains to TSM, everyone involved is a whale - she’s just a different species of whale. And in the opening credits of the show - they always show a blue duck among a bunch of yellow ducks. There are many ways to indicate someone being different without isolating them from the human experience. So yeah, it rubs me wrong seeing another show fall into that trap even in a teeny tiny way, but worse than that *for me* - a cat and its butler, or caretaker which seems to be the underlying message, are not equals. And that’s one thing I know a lot of us wanted for Woo Youngwoo. More than anything we wanted a romance for her where she was an equal partner, not someone who needed to be watched after. If I squint a little bit I can kinda understand what they were *trying* to convey but this just ... missed the mark for me. You are all more than welcome to feel differently, of course.

And ironically - almost in direct contrast to my discomfort with the cat analogy - immediately preceding the scene is when Youngwoo leaves the car to confront TSM but as she goes, she looks back at Junho. She leaves, off to discover her next moment of wonder - to do her job, but she looks back at him. She’s reminding him that she knows he’s there, that she cares. She’s showing Junho that even though her wonderful brilliant beautiful self is off on another quest, she hasn’t forgotten him - when so many times before in this show she’s run off without notice or concern (not saying that's a bad thing; just pointing out the change) and now she’s giving him a sweet acknowledgement of his presence in her life. And the way Junho teared up seeing her do that 😭 It was that part - more than anything else - that gave me warm fuzzies and made me think “yeah, they can do this.”

I’m happy that our whale couple made it back to each other but damn, does it feel bitter sweet in a lot of ways. It’s a strange headspace for me to be in with this show, for it to make me uncomfy but also happy at varying levels during different moments.

What I would like to see in Season 2:

- Little brother Sang Hyun and Woo Youngwoo: Youngwoo’s reaction to being called Noona 😭 (instantly she was like, “I must protecc!”) was heartfelt and relatable. I loved them. I want more of them. I want to see them interact and eat kimbap together. 

sidenote: I defo think Sang Hyun and TSM are autistic and I’d love for the show to really lean into that more in S2

- Junho needs to meet her dad and be let in on the family secret cause I dislike that it was MINWOO of all people who recognized how heavy it was for Youngwoo to be working a case with her bio-mom and half brother, and then to have to be the one to interrogate him! It was so stressful.

- Woo Youngwoo’s independence: A big motivator for me to continue watching was because of Youngwoo’s personal development; I wanted to see her continue to grow, to become more independent and self sufficient as time went on. Wasn’t she at one point talking about moving out of her dad’s place and staying by herself? I guess that got thrown out because they weren’t sure if she could afford it but our girl is a fulltime attorney now so I really hope that’s on the agenda! She doesn’t have to live alone, she could even move in with Dong Geurami!!! Which I would personally love because we didn’t get nearly enough WYW and DGR scenes in the-episodes-that-shall-not-be-named.

- For the love of god stop cutting off the conclusions of formative discussions surrounding Youngwoo and Junho’s relationship! and please show them having more functional communication cause wow I’m still scarred from the-episodes-that-shall-not-be-named. And if the writers start out Season 2 with more writing like THAT ... then I will put on a party hat cause I will be the clowniest of clowns 🤡

My tinfoil hat theory: it literally feels like different writers were working on some unexpected storylines starting around episode 13. I don’t know much about filming schedules or anything but I do know that some things can be filmed beforehand and changed afterwards depending on where they want the show to go based on public response. I can’t help but wonder if after the praise they got, and they knew a second season was highly likely, that they changed some things around to drag it out more and leave something to delve into during S2. I keep thinking about what Soo-yeon said to Minwoo in Jeju; “I almost called the police and had you arrested for acting so out of character!” (or something along those lines). I could be way off but that feels very on the nose; and if Minwoo’s storyline ending up changing last minute, it would make sense to me.

In Conclusion: If this were a stand alone season, I don’t think I could be satisfied with how it ended. 

But! They have been given a second season, and I hope they take the opportunity to improve the things they dropped the ball on. It’s not a chance a lot of dramas get, so I hope they grab it with both hands. 

I may not necessarily be running to my Netflix when S2 drops. I’ll probably feel more inclined to wait it out a bit and gauge how it’s going based on other’s reactions but I’m surprised to say (given how painful some of these episodes were to re-watch - that lunch with Junho’s sister will live in infamy - eek!) I’m actually not opposed to checking in again to see what all these characters are up to in 2024.

Taking the good with the bad, is my stance for now I suppose.

#extraordinary attorney woo #eaw #Elle watches EAW #kdrama #k drama #korean drama #extraordinary attorney woo finale #long ass post #my post #my opinions #taking the sweet with the sour #the good with the bad

[freshhazelnut]

Harry and Meghan; The Docu-Series

I have started watching the Sussexes Netflix serial, but I won’t be watching all the episodes in one setting. I I’ll be updating this post until I complete the series.

Episode 1: Freedom

Harry Launches the Series as he is the biggest star and possibly the main draw to watch this documentary. I, for one, considered watching this feature because Harry’s transition intrigued me and I was I interested to know his thoughts regarding his life choices since meeting Meghan. Since their exit from the royal scene, Harry appeared to be a sidekick to Meghan ventures. Even during the Oprah interview, he was relegated to a secondary guest to Meghan.

As Harry appears on the screen explaining that he is taking videos documenting per the recommendation of a friend, Meghan follows with a strange contrast to Harry’s statement; She doesn’t know why she is taking a Video, but hopefully it will help them grasp what had happened as the years pass on. Harry appears jubilant while Meghan is downcast. I wonder if the beginning of episode would be different if they were together as they started documenting their journey! Would Harry be less jubilant and more depressed? How about Meghan?

The documentary is a chance for the Sussexes to tell their version of events; their story and how did it start. I’m not a fan of the corny sit downs with intermittent giggles as they recall how them met on Instagram and the fast paced progression of their relationship. Meghan informs us that they met on Instagram (? What happened to that Blind Date that was set up by a mutual friend ?) and she emphasizes that an individual’s Instagram feed is a reflection of the person. A statement that I strongly disagree with especially with a Meghan being a media influencer and a lifestyle blogger who knows well that social media is not a factual representation of life. It is not a reality, but who dares to object because Harry’s Feed of wildlife pictures and humanitarian efforts were documented. Apparently Jess ( Perhaps Jessica Mulroney ) was the first person to be told of Harry’s interest in pursuing a relationship with Meghan. Also, I’m quite shocked that Harry asked Meghan to join him in Botswana after their second meeting with a giggly Meghan stating that she says Yes. I’m not judging, but adults are cautious especially single women. They don’t jump into such proposals so early? But, Love blossomed !

Harry’s Childhood and the impact of Diana’s death on him are outlined only to emphasize the drastic effect of paparazzis taking interest in his life with no respect of his privacy or his desire not to engage with reporters. He appears to disdain media presence albeit he had no problem sitting with chat with Oprah or utilizing his vlogs for the Netflix documentary. Another notable note is the number of pictures abd Videos that the Sussexes shared of their Children; Archie is featured heavily along the episode which I found strange when Harry outlined his hate to media intrusion in his life as he grew up, but has no problem of sharing lots of footage of his son ! Strange enough I think we have more footage of Archie than Harry when he was his age?!?.

The episode ends with a frustration note; the The press knew of the incognitos couple and Meghan didn’t stand a chance as the British Media and paparazzi hounded her. Harry states that Meghan was not safe and it is his duty to protect her! Meghan repeats; “I wasn’t worried because he said the he will protect me”.

——————

Verdict and My Thoughts

- Excellent cinematography with editing, but it was unremarkable in relation to content. I think this episode would have been better if it focused on Harry solely. Paparazzis followed him, reported on his antics, and his girlfriends. Meghan wasn’t a receiver of such intrusions. So, I don’t think it was a wise decision to include Meghan on the first episode because she wasn’t even a secondary character of his story until he met her.

- Meghan called Harry, H and Haz most of the time with the occasional Harry mentioned which is different from her South Africa interview with Tom Bradley; “ When I told H, That’s What I call him”. Harry on the other hand was struggling with calling Meghan (M) in a single sitting because Meg, Meghan, and M were used interchangeably. I think Harry tried too hard to imitate Meghan and I don’t know what is the reason. I assume they wanted to appear as Synchronized.

- Harry made a point of mentioning that women who married into the BRF need to fit a certain mold and he made sure to mention that Diana wasn’t as she was outspoken and passionate to make a difference. In other words, Sophie, Catherine, Bridgette of Gloucester, and others fit the Stepford supporting wife role. I found such a reference degrading to them and incorrect. Royal ladies were scrutinized heavily and his cousin is a prime example; She was described as a Whale multiple times when her pictures in Bikinis were taken. Beatrice was hounded and if I recall, the palace had never commented or requested for her privacy to be protected. Also, I don’t recall Harry calling out the media for their disgraceful behavior or comments.

- I noticed that Harry looked disheveled in many of the intimate homeVideos that featured him whereas Meghan looked polished. Also, There was a Soft Blur filter when Meghan was featured alone, but Harry didn’t get a filter.

- There are quite a number of contradictory comments by the couple in relation to their courtship timeline and their Children Privacy concerns. Thanks to the Draft feature, I managed to write this feature as I’m busy and I didn’t want to watch Episode 2 before publishing This review.

© Netflix

#british royal family #prince harry #meghan markle #sussex #harry and meghan #docuseries #Netflix #Episode 1

[cishetamine]

lily rose depp

they were calling her a nepo baby

ticketmaster investigation

i waited in that queue for 7 fucking hours

i waited 7 hours

and my dad waited 7 hours

the cheapest tickets were like $200

and taylor swift’s apology was so fucking bullshit

i do feel like it wasn’t totally in her control

harry stiles and ed sheeran

they

he’s the #1 most listened person on spotify!

i was so pissed off on tuesday

i saw how long the queue was when i tried to join

he paid like $500 for VIP

the fees are bad!

yeah they add up!

i’ve been scouting out tickets

it was row 2 of the 3rd tier

it should’ve been 80, it bumped up to 120 in fees

so i decided i was

there’s an app they were promoting on tiktok

you pay like a monthly membership and u get like a shitload of discounts

i hope ticketmaster gets like taken down

this is the community college i’m gonna go to!

i’d be terrified to—

did you sign up for classes next semester?

hopefully i can transfer to UIC

wait what

are you..a sophomore with your credits?

seems like their studies were interrupted

college algebra i should be okay with but biology is just not my thing

i’m gonna take speech next semester, which is required for PR

it’s so fun watching her interact with the snow

baby’s first snow

public speaking

it’s a requirement for my major

my brother took it for

business degree

i hate listening to my voice on camera

you have to talk abt stupid things

he did his on why videogames are like bad for kids

which they don’t talk abt in college as much these days. bc they’re like too talked about

the last 2 months of my philosophy class last year we just did political debates like every single day

ppl are afraid teachers won’t grade them fairly bc there’s lots of opinion and bias

canadian college

abortion and euthanasia were all not allowed

ooh there’s the dugout

is that a bar?

is that the rooftop right there?

it’s actually really cute.

ohh! he’s going on a cruise i think! with like regina’s family over thanksgiving.

he straight up told me that [pronoun indecipherable] doesn’t like having sex

like receiving it?

you’re so selfish

what’s wrong with you!

i saw her private story

all she does is post like carter and monty, that’s it.

when she got accepted she said she hasn’t even toured it yet

she skipped it to go to starbucks with us

i’ve never met anyone lazier in my fucking life

community college

you don’t wanna end up like her that’s for sure

my mom said

if you’re gonna drop out and never go back,

i was telling

holding me here against my will

your family needs a reality tv show

it would get so many views

sister

my parents had to flush her pills down the toilet

bc you’re only supposed to be taking them for like 2 weeks

her like SCREAMING in the background. like SCREAMING

she was hooked on oxy

i’m excited for the new season

they canceled it!

They canceled it?!!??

there was rumors about a bunch of major actors leaving the show

sidney sweeney

trump supporter

i love when the internet comes in with opinions

i feel like you can’t really cancel an actor unless they do something

armie hammer! yeah he works at a hotel now

there was like leaked—

just got put on netflix which is like, shit timing

everyone likes the summer in italy

i’ve always liked

2 more stops

i don’t know…i don’t see the appeal

it doesn’t look that great to me but i want to see it

don’t worry darling

i didn’t neeed to see it

walk out of the theater like after watching interstellar

if you’re not gonna make a sequel don’t you dare leave a movie un..

i know the harry stans are going crazy right now.

i look at him more and more like he’s not all that. he looks like a lot of other people

great personality, but

he’s that one person who’s like too into tiktok trends like he’s right behind them

i’ve never been to a harry styles concert but

it also pissed me off how long it took him to reveal what the gender was

there was like a part 2 like what the fuck, just put it in 1 video!

i wish i’d got starbucks before i came here

we’re going to a cafe!

yeah but

very.. adult drinks

do you need your chocolate—

haha yeah, kinda!

i like the sugar cookie—

the gingerbread latte

my sister

you were there for this

my sister was like:

i can’t wait for christmas so i can get a peppermint mocha!

and i was like how many times do i have to tell you: you can get a peppermint mocha year round!

yeah, but it’s different when it’s christmas!

hits different

#chicago #eavesdropping #southbound red line #3 young white women about college age

[randomaccessmike]

The Best Books to Help You Get Through Grad School in 2023

Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com This post contains Amazon affiliate links I'm sure when many professionals look back on their grad school experience, there are a few things they'd tell their past selves. "Slow down." "Pace yourself." "Take care of yourself." Face it, grad school requires a ton of time and effort. And many grade students are working full-time while they're in school, adding to the pressure and lack of time to complete school work. Yes, there's lots to do in grad school, but taking time for yourself is still important. Doing well in grad school is important, too, but if you don't take care of yourself, your accomplishments in school are for naught. So, let's get back to your reading habit. Reading books can help you develop new habits, stay motivated, and increase your energy levels. And reading keeps your brain engaged more than binging 17 seasons of your favorite shows on Netflix (although, sometimes, you need a binge). Reading for Leisure I have lots of reading to do in my studies. Let's face it: most reading for grad school is NOT fun. It may be interesting and, hopefully, informs your work, but it's not stirring anything deep in your soul. Should you read for pleasure when you're in grad school? OF COURSE! Even if you get in just a few hours a week of reading your favorite genre, you will benefit. Don't overlook the benefits of jumping into another world for a few hours and forget about the pressures of grad school. Let's take a look at some books to help you in your grad school journey. These books cover the writing process, productivity, self-care, and some fun reads. Books to Improve Your Writing Skills How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing by Paul Silvia If you're having trouble making headway with your writing, you might want to check out "How to Write a Lot" by Paul Silvia. It's not going to turn you into Shakespeare or anything, but it can help you build good writing habits and make it easier to separate your writing time from your personal time. The book breaks the writing process down into bite-sized chunks, making it easier to tackle and giving you plenty of opportunities to celebrate your progress. Definitely worth a shot - you might be surprised at how much you can get done. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott This book is a total classic, and it's all about how to write and how to get over writer's block and all those pesky mental roadblocks that get in the way of writing. It's not specifically about grad school or academia, but it's on this list because it's basically the bee's knees when it comes to writing advice. The title comes from a story the author wrote when she was a kid about writing a paper about birds. Like "How to Write a Lot," this is all about taking it slow and steady, tackling one small task at a time. Several Short Sentences About Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg A unique book that can help snap you out of typical academic writing mode “…thus the present findings elucidate a novel method for exploring the behavior and interactions of…” Almost poetic. Almost rhythmic. Straight to the point. The author explains in free form the fallacies and illusions of forming sentences and getting them onto the page. This will force you to re-think your mental process resulting in better sentences and better papers. The end of the book covers examples of common sentences and calls out the superfluous wording, re-writing it with only the essentials. Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day: A Guide toStarting, Revising, and Finishing Your Doctoral Thesis by Joan Bolker If you’re lacking motivation, struggling to get started every day, orare completely overwhelmed by the massive task at hand, give this book a look. It doesn’t offer any real advice on the details of a dissertationbut instead aims to instill confidence in the reader. The author guidesyou through setting daily page goals, storing ideas, and gettingsomething--anything--down on the page each day. Essentially a personalconfidence coach for writing, applicable to more than just adissertation. The Literature Review: Six Steps to Success by Lawrence Machi Starting your literature review is the hardest part. It feels like adaunting task without a clear path to success. This book helps breakdown each step in the process into achievable goals supplemented bystrategies for efficiently and effectively approaching each one. The fewhours spent reading this book will be paid back to you in saving timeresearching and writing later.  It will help save your sanity and reduceanxiety approaching your first literature review. Books to Increase Your Productivity and Focus The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod This book has been instrumental in maintaining my sanity. Hal Elrod's book shares his technique of six popular morning routine practices: exercise, reading, journaling, visualization, affirmations, and meditation. He started doing all of them every morning after a near-fatal car accident left him physically and mentally impaired. He refined the timing and intentions around each practice and shared it with friends, which exploded by word-of-mouth. Eventually, he wrote a book to share the technique with the world. This book is highly recommended for anyone with a self-driven and self-structured workday, like a typical grad student. Read it soon to see how it can greatly impact your life. Getting Things Done by David Allen In my mind, this book is the bible of productivity. "The Getting Things Done (GTD) program is designed to help you do the things you have to do with less time, energy, and effort so you can do more of the things you want to do. The crux of the GTD system is to store every task, reminder, and note bouncing around your brain in an external organization system to free up your mental energy to actually focus on the task at hand. Your brain is great at creating and processing things but not at remembering them, so trying to keep track of everything in your head saps your brainpower from doing what your mind does best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aD8WG49PY4 For more great books for grad students, check my ever-growing list right here. Read the full article

[tipsycad147]

8 Ways to Stay Witchy (And Sane) While Recovering from COVID

It’s no secret we are in the middle of a full-blown pandemic. And if it hasn’t affected your life yet, then I’m happy for you. As I write this, I’m in the COVID recovering process and it hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been downright difficult and has tested me not just physically but mentally AND spiritually. However, I’ve found ways to hold strong to my magical side and here I plan to provide my oracles with 8 ways to stay witchy (and hopefully sane) while recovering from COVID, just in case any of you have to deal with this unfortunate illness. Though I pray you never have to!

What It’s REALLY Like to Have COVID

I’ve avoided contracting COVID for the past 9 months since first hearing of it. I’ve practice social distancing to the best of my abilities, worn my mask, washed my hands, sanitized, etc. Apparently I couldn’t escape it forever. I am now approximately two weeks positive and every day is a struggle. My entire family has it too…because of me. Each with varying symptoms and degrees of symptoms. While we are classified as having a “mild” case, COVID is NOT a mild illness. It’s not a “bad cold” for everyone, and has been deadly for thousands of people since it’s appearance.

My First COVID Symptoms…and Mistakes

If you’re wondering what my symptoms are like, I’ll tell you. It started with a mild sore throat and nasty post-nasal drip. Then the headaches started. I didn’t have a fever in the first week, which made me believe I wasn’t sick with COVID. DON’T MAKE MY MISTAKE. Not everyone gets a fever with COVID. Also, you can take tests in the first week of incubation and they can read NEGATIVE. But you could still have the virus and could still be contagious. 5 days after exposure with a negative rapid test doesn’t mean you don’t have COVID. Be smart. Quarantine the entire 10 days after exposure. Isolate from your family too, if at all possible.

Following the headaches, sinus congestion, and sore throat came the fatigue, mild body aches and loss of my sense of smell and taste. On day 10 after exposure, I tested positive for COVID. So did my husband. Now my entire family has it and is struggling to recover. It’s not an easy virus to recover from. And during my recovery time, I’ve found myself feeling disconnected from my spiritual practice. From my craft. From the very thing that makes me ME. But I’ve re-centered, grounded, and am slowly recovering from the virus and staying witchy. Here’s how I’m doing it, and how you can too if you (gods forbid) ever contract the virus.

8 Ways to Stay Witchy (& Sane) With COVID

Keep in mind that this virus affects everyone differently. You might get hit harder than I have or have an even milder case. Only do what YOU can do. Your spirituality should be part of your daily activities, not separate. Particularly when you are ill. Your energy should go towards healing your body, not appeasing the gods or ancestors, etc. Your health is TOP priority!

1. Read Something That Nurtures Your Soul

While sometimes all I want to do is lay on my couch and stare at a TV screen, there are brief moments when I have the desire to do something other than binge Netflix. And for those brief moments in time, I try to pick up a witchy or spiritual book. Even if only for five to ten minutes. I am currently reading A Modern Guide to Heathenry as my spiritual read and The Vampire Lestat as my fictional fun read. Not only does reading feed your mind, but it nurtures your soul.

2. Healing Affirmations Help Relieve Fear from COVID

I won’t lie to you. There have been moments and might still be moments when I feel weak, defeated, and even scared. COVID gets inside our bodies and into our fears in many ways. But we can’t let it defeat us. And this is what I tell myself when I’m frightened or down: I AM A WARRIOR. I’ve survived much more than this! Here’s a few powerful healing affirmations you can try:

“I AM A WARRIOR. HEALTH AND WHOLENESS ARE MINE. I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF LOVE AND LIGHT. I’M A GODDESS (GOD). I CONQUER ALL OF MY ENEMIES. I AM VICTORIOUS.”

3. Night Time Prayer

Prayer is universal and knows no religious boundaries. You don’t have to be Christian to pray. I am pagan and I pray to my gods and ancestors any time I feel the need. Since having COVID, sometimes the only thing I have the energy to do is pray. Before going to sleep at night, I pray to Odin. I pray to my Goddess and to my ancestors. I express my gratitude for all I have in my life, including my beautiful family members AND my health. And I ask them for their presence, healing, and strength. It always helps me feel better!

4. Walk in the Sun

In the first days upon contracting COVID, you might not want to leave the couch or your bed. That’s completely normal and acceptable! This virus really takes the energy out of you. So don’t force yourself to do anything your body isn’t ready to do. However, when it’s been a week or two OR whenever you’re feeling a little more energetic, try to get outside. Even if it’s just a small walk to the mailbox. Being in the sun and fresh air truly helps. Mother Nature has a calming, healing effect even in the midst of a pandemic.

5. Attitude of Gratitude

And yet another witchy trick when I’m feeling sick, down or scared, I practice having an attitude of gratitude. At night when I feel my worst, instead of dwelling on the negative, I list all of the things in my life that are positive. This almost always elevates the vibrations in my body and around me. I simply say to myself, “I’m thankful for my beautiful children. I’m thankful they are healthy and with me. I am happy for the roof over my head. I’m thankful that I’m recovering from this virus. I’m thankful for my comfortable bed. I am thankful for my loving husband. Etc.” Eventually, I fall asleep with a positive mindset.

6. Pull One Rune or Card

There were days when I didn’t have enough energy to make my bed let alone nurture my craft. My energy still waxes and wanes on a daily basis. The other day I was finally able to put fresh water on my ancestors’ altar…and I was super happy to be able to do it! Yesterday, I was able to pull one rune from my rune bag. That small act of magick in and of itself made me feel more connected and solidify I’m on the path to health and wholeness. If you prefer Tarot, when you have the energy, pull one card and meditate on its message.

7. Binge A Pagan or Witchy Themed Show

When you have COVID, your body needs all its energy to fight off the virus. If you’re able to lay around and watch TV all day, DO IT. Take naps between shows if you want. But in order to feel more witchy and connected? Choose a show that is witchy or pagan themed. The shows I’ve been binging while recovering from COVID include The Last Kingdom and Outlander on Netflix.

8. Magical TEA

When you’re recovering from COVID, it’s best to drink lots of fluids. This keeps you hydrated and helps flush out the toxins. Water and gatorade are important but hot tea is essential. Even if you’ve lost your sense of smell and taste, hot tea has a magical way of making one feel comforted and better. It soothes sore throats and helps open your sinuses. PLUS who doesn’t feel witchy drinking hot herbal tea? Stir clockwise for your health and vitality.

One Last Note…

If you can only do one of these things or none at all, that is PERFECT. Take care of yourself in whatever ways you can. If all else fails, JUST BREATHE. I wish all of you health and vitality. I pray that all of my readers, oracles and friends stay healthy through this pandemic and hopefully never come in contact with the virus. And if you do, I pray your gods, guides and ancestors protect and heal you!

https://otherworldlyoracle.com/stay-witchy-with-covid/

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[bestofbucky]

Eavesdrop

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: none really, enemies to ?

A/N: This is my first time posting something I have written. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much @tuiccim for your help, couldn’t have done it without you.

Being an Avenger is tough. Of course, there are the obvious missions and kicking ass that are exhausting, especially because you don’t have any sort of enhancements or powers. You are just a regular human being, fighting with and against some not so regular human beings. Naturally when you have downtime, you spend it doing things with the least amount of effort. Watching Netflix, listening to music, taking baths, etc, meaning that your social life outside of the compound was, to put it simply, non-existent.

You had just returned from the worst date of your life, well, one of the top five worst dates of your life. Over the past couple of months Steve and Natasha had grown tired of you whining about being single but not making any effort to change it and began sending you on blind dates. Somehow, they managed five different times to find five completely awful people. This time they had set you up with Arthur, a recruit for SHIELD and a good one at that. You wouldn’t be surprised to see him on the elite squad soon, but when it came to your date, he was really blunt and inappropriate, and you had cringed your way through the entire thing.

Once you got back to the compound, you first went to your room to get changed into gym clothes for training with Nat, then headed to her room. On your way you passed one of the common rooms and heard two voices. One familiar but one you didn’t recognise, you decided to check it out and found Steve and another man.

Steve called your name inviting you over to them as they both stood up. ‘This is Bucky. He’s moving in today to begin training.’ Steve explains. You nod and smile at Bucky, remembering Steve told you about him and that he would be living here and eventually joining the team.

You have to stop yourself from gasping out loud at the sight of him. He is a 6 ft something hunk of muscle and beauty and you can’t stop yourself from trying to take him all in with your eyes.

Steve then introduces you to Bucky who looks in your eyes for all of two seconds to say, ‘hi’ before looking down at his feet. He is probably really nervous. Even from that two second glance, you could tell he had one hell of a past. They had you hooked already, you wanted to stare into those eyes and let them tell you the stories of the lifetime they had seen.

‘You were just in Wakanda right? How was it? I have only ever seen it in pictures but I really want to go.’ You let your excitement show, hoping to relax him a bit.

‘Yeah, it was nice. I was frozen for most of it though’ Shit, he curses himself. He didn’t mean to come across so rude but he was really nervous, you are really pretty and it is messing with his head a little. It doesn’t help that he has had to meet a lot of different people today and he is all socialised out. He sees your face fall slightly before you quickly compose yourself, any normal person would have missed it but he has his past of being a trained assassin.

‘Well, Nat is probably waiting for me, she told me she would show me some new moves today.’ You say realising that Bucky had probably been under a lot of stress lately and most likely just wanted to be alone, or with Steve rather than chatting to you, a stranger. At least you hoped this was the reason and it wasn’t that he already disliked you. Saying goodbye to the two of them you head off to Natasha’s room.

Not even bothering to knock, you walk into her room leaving the door open behind you, since you’ll be heading down to the gym soon anyway. Natasha is sitting on the end of the bed braiding her hair. ‘You almost ready?’ You ask.

‘Yeah, just got to finish my hair then put my shoes on.’ She tells you so you take a seat on her bed while you wait.

Meanwhile, Bucky told Steve that he wanted to go get his room sorted. Really it was just an excuse to be alone for a little while. On the way there he walked past a room with the door open and heard two voices talking, recognising them to be you and Natasha. He was just about to carry on walking to his room when he heard Natasha ask, ‘did you meet him yet?’

Bucky assumed she was talking about him and wanted to hear what you had to say. He hoped you would be understanding of his reticence after his taxing morning. 

‘Yeah, I met him today.’ You sigh and roll your eyes.

‘That bad?’ Nat asks, raising her eyebrows with a slight smirk on her face.

‘Yes, I tried to be as friendly as I could but he seemed like a jerk.’ You huff.

‘How so?’

‘He was so blunt he just came across really rude. I had high expectations, especially after hearing Steve say so many nice things about him.’

‘Maybe he was just having a bad day?’ She attempts a defence. 

‘Bad day or not, he should have the courtesy to smile and be polite even if it is fake.’

Bucky was so hurt to hear this. Yes, he wasn’t the nicest to you but your reaction seemed a bit dramatic. He didn’t want to hear you say any more so he rushed off to his room.

‘So, I guess you aren’t going to go on a second date with him then?’ Nat asks.

‘No, I really appreciate you and Steve trying to set me up but seeing as this is the 5th time and none of them were any good, I think I’ll go back to my old methods.’ You smile at her.

‘What, never putting yourself out there and waiting for the right person to just fall into your lap?’ Nat teases and you both laugh when you nod. She finishes tying her shoelaces and you head off to the gym.

The next day you were leading a meeting of recruits who have the potential to be moved up into the squad that worked with the Avengers. The elite squad. Unfortunately for you, Arthur was in the group of recruits and was probably the next one to be promoted.  You finally dismissed everyone and started getting your stuff together to leave as well when Arthur came up to you.

‘What’s the word on who is moving up next, dove?’ You look up in shock, surely, he didn’t just call you dove.

‘Excuse me?’ You look him dead in the eye.

‘I said what’s the word on who is moving up next? I think you might need to get your hearing checked.’ He laughs at his own joke so you fake laugh with him.

‘That’s confidential., we’ll let everyone know when we have made the decision.’ You say and go to walk past him but he grabs your arm.

‘Does someone need a little convincing. If it’s you, then I can think of some ways.’ He whispers seductively in your ear. You pull your arm out of his grasp and frown at him.

‘I’m only joking, dove, come on, you can’t even take a joke?’ He laughs again.

You put on your best fake smile and your customer service voice. ‘There will be no convincing necessary. You are a good agent but you also have good competition. We will inform you all of our decision when it is made.’ You say and quickly turn and walk out the door before he can say anything else. When you get into the lift you ask FRIDAY where Steve is.

‘Common room A, Agent Y/L/N’. You make your way there as quick as possible. Heading around the corner, you slam into a solid object. You hiss at the contact on your fresh bruises, a frown appearing on your face. As soon as you look up to see what or who you bumped into, the frown quickly fades into a smile when you see its Bucky. He is already looking at you.

‘Sorry I should have been watching where I was going.’ He mumbles quickly.

‘No, it’s just as much my fault as yours. I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry.’ You apologise to him. As much as you would love to stay and chat  with  Bucky, you need to get to Steve to explain what just happened with Arthur and hopefully you can get him kicked off the team.

Bucky had left his room to try and find someone to help him figure out a few things with FRIDAY but as soon as he bumped into you that completely left his mind. You were all that filled his mind ever since he met you. He stood in the hallway for a while before realising he should ask you to help. Maybe this would be a good excuse to make up for his poor first impression. He heads in the direction you went but stops short when he hears your voice.

‘I think he bruised me. The dick.’ You say and Steve frowns at you ‘Come on, Steve. I’m  allowed to be angry. He has been nothing but a jerk to me,’ you explain and shift to get more comfortable.

‘What did you say to him when he did this?’ Steve asks, holding your arm and examining the newly formed bruises in the shapes of fingers.

‘I put on my best fake smile and pretended like everything was ok,’  You joke and Steve laughs, ‘as much as I hate the guy, I don’t have the confidence to actually show it.’ You sigh and Steve pulls your sleeve back down and leans back into the sofa. ‘Is there any way we can kick him off the team?’ You exaggerate batting your eyelashes at him.

‘He isn’t even on the team yet and you already want to kick him off?’ Steve questions.

‘Yes! I really don’t like him. I know he is your friend but I trust him about as far as I can throw him’ You explain and Steve nods.

Bucky had heard enough. He can’t believe you could be so horrible. You had the sweetest exterior and, from first impressions, you didn’t look like you could hurt a fly. But as he heard you say, you clearly put on a fake act to come across as polite and kind when really you are rude deep down. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you. Twice now. But he is so glad he did, because now he knows not to waste his energy on you. He knows what you think of him and he has formed his opinion of you. He hurries back to his room.

‘He’s not my friend Y/N, I only said that to you to make you go on the date with an open mind. I’ve only ever had one conversation with the guy,’ Steve jokes and you playfully push his arm, ‘All jokes aside, his behaviour breaks a lot of conduct rules and is a good enough reason to have him knocked down a few squads.’ Steve replies and you sigh with relief. You hug Steve and thank him for his help, he’s taken slightly off guard but hugs you back before you go your separate ways.

 A few weeks later, you walk into the kitchen to find the whole team eating their breakfast. Sam is cooking and when he sees you, he makes a plate and hands it to you.

‘Thank you Sam.’ You hug him and take the plate, turning around at the sound of Bucky’s scoff. You haven’t had a conversation with Bucky since you bumped into each other in the hallway. You had tried to but he either completely ignored you or just rolled his eyes and left the room.

At first it hurt, you wondered if you had done something wrong. The team seemed just as confused by it as you. Bucky didn’t have a problem with anyone else. That wasn’t to say he was extremely friendly with them, he wasn’t there yet and nobody blamed him but he could hold conversation with the others. He even laughed at their jokes. You were starting to get fed up with it so after breakfast you headed to Bucky’s room to talk to him. You knocked on the door and it wasn’t long until he answered it. As soon as he saw you his face fell visibly.

‘Can we talk?’ You asked hoping he would let you into his room. He paused to consider it then stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited for you to talk.

‘Is there something I did wrong?’ You ask him and he keeps a blank face.

‘Why do you care?’ He asks still arms crossed over his body.

‘I care because you are always scoffing or rolling your eyes at me whenever I try to talk to you.’

‘I’m not scoffing or rolling my eyes now.’ He points out.

‘No but you’re not exactly being very friendly.’

‘Would you prefer for me to fake it then? Just put on a smile and pretend to like you?’ He jabs. You take a moment to process what he just said. You didn’t realise he could be so mean.

‘No Bucky I would prefer for you to maybe make an effort to get to know me before making a judgement.’ You scowl at him.

‘I have a perfectly fine judgement of you. I am not going to fall for your fake smiles and fake friendships.’ Bucky snarls and walks back into his room closing his door in your face. You are left to stand there in shock.

On the other side of the door Bucky is leaning there conflicted. The shock on your face looked so genuine. No, he has to remember it is all an act with you.

From that day on you decided you weren’t going to make an effort with him. It wasn’t the most mature decision but you were tired. What used to be eye rolls and scoffs, now turned into snarky comments and you were no longer afraid to throw them right back at him.

Steve had tried a few times to talk to you about it but, when he couldn’t tell you why Bucky hated you, he realised there was nothing he could do to change how either of you felt about the other. What he could do was change up your schedules so the two of you were rarely ever in the same room together.

Unfortunately, instead of the arguments happening quite calmly but consistently over the course of the whole day. They were now much shorter, confined to just mealtimes, and much more heated and intense. None of the team knew which was worse.

You were sparring in the gym with Natasha trying to work off some steam from this morning’s argument with Bucky.

‘Your moves are sloppy, get whatever is making you emotional out of your head.’ She grunts at you but this only forces you further into your head.

You go hard at her, but she blocks every move so you go to defence. She smirks at you, ‘Has a certain super soldier got into your head?’

That causes a surge of anger to hit you and again you go hard at Natasha, but your anger only allows her to catch you off balance and you are pinned to the mat in a matter of seconds.

‘So it is Barnes.’ She  pulls you up and you brush yourself off before getting back into a fighting stance.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ You grunt at her and start your attack. Your moves are still predictable and anger clouds your mind. You feel yourself getting more and more worked up with every hit she blocks.

You retreat to take a breather, you hear the door open and you glance over, the man of the hour has just entered and you roll your eyes but continue to spar with Natasha.

Out the corner of your eye, you see him make his way over to you both, watching as you take a lot of hits from her and barely manage to land any of your own.

‘I have seen toddlers fight better than you Y/N.’ You hear him chuckle.

‘I don’t need your opinion.’ You grunt, still trying to keep your focus on Natasha.

‘Fight like that on the field and you’ll be dead in two seconds.’

‘Keep talking and you’ll wish you were dead.’

He laughs ‘Is that a threat?’ You ignore him and continue sparring. ‘Your punches are so weak, how did you become an Avenger again?’ He is still smiling knowing exactly which buttons to push.

You stop and make your way over to him. ‘I became an Avenger because of my talent and my strength, that I worked hard to earn.’ You are right up in his face, almost chest to chest. You are breathing hard, partly from the exercise but mostly because of how riled up you are. You notice he is breathing hard as well, his breath fanning across your face.

Your mind can’t help but drift, is this what he would look like in bed, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. Small beads of sweat gathered at his hairline from his recent run. You suddenly realise how close the two of you are and force the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. You hate how seeing him so riled up is actually a huge turn on. How could you let yourself be attracted to such an asshole?

‘You wouldn’t stand a chance against me.’ His voice drops so low that in a different circumstance you would have happily dropped your panties.

‘You’re right. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and your metal arm that you were given. Or you and the super soldier serum that you were given.’ You know they are cheap shots but you just couldn’t help how absolutely fuming he makes you. He had managed to get under your skin and the thought of him being successful only made you angrier.

He leans down even more, your noses almost touching ‘I don’t know how everyone else can’t see through your little nice act. You pretend to be so kind on the outside but deep down you’re a bitch.’ Ouch. You deserved that one for what you said to him but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially because if you were hooked up to a lie detector and asked to say those things again, it would flash up as a blatant lie. However, looking into his eyes there was not an ounce of regret for what he said.

Bucky knew he shouldn’t have said what he did, but you had hit a nerve and it was the only thing he could think to say back. He saw the hurt flash across your eyes but it was too late to take it back now. The only thing he could do was exit the situation before it got any worse. He turned on his heels and left the room, leaving you standing there in complete shock at your exchange. 

Natasha calls your name but you quickly leave for your room before anyone can see you like this.

The team was split all across the base. This wasn’t how you would usually handle missions but as soon as you arrived the mission started to go sideways.

‘Target headed towards the west elevator. Anyone nearby copy?’ You hear Steve’s voice through comms.

‘I'm on it.’ You say back, your comms crackling more than usual.

‘Copy that.’ Bucky said, his comms crackling from the two of you talking at the same time.

The rest of the team had heard both of your voices but neither of you had heard the other. So it was a big shock when you were waiting for the elevator and you heard his voice behind you.

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ He sighs and slowly walks up to you to wait for the elevator as well. ‘Did you not hear me say I got it?’ He snaps at you.

‘No because I was the one that said I’m on it.’ You snap back and thankfully the elevator dings it’s arrival. Normally in creepy Hydra bases you would avoid elevators but seeing as there was no stairwell nearby, this was the only option.

‘Age before beauty.’ You say to him, gesturing to the elevator.

‘Very funny’ he says sarcastically before stepping inside. You follow after him and press the only floor button available.

Silence permeates the small space as you prepare for what’s to happen once the doors open. Instead, the elevator jerks to a stop.

‘No.’ You panic and start pressing the floor button over and over. ‘No no no no no.’ Nothing is working.

‘Let me try.’ Bucky says pushing you out of the way, you so badly want to say something but the only thing you can focus on is the fact you might be trapped. Bucky taps the button and looks around for anything else to press but there is nothing. You can feel yourself start to get light headed as claustrophobia takes hold and the thought of falling to your death in this metal box takes over your thoughts. You shrink down onto the floor and hold your head in your hands.

‘Do you always have to be so dramatic?’ Bucky huffs. You don’t answer him, the only thing you can think about is the pain starting in your chest and your breathing getting heavier. 

‘Stop breathing so fast. You are going to make yourself pass out.’ Bucky grunts but when you don’t reply or make any effort to slow your breathing he gets worried. He kneels down in front of you ‘Hey? Doll? Can you hear me?’ You can’t answer him, you just feel the impending doom and the immense pressure on your chest. ‘I’m going to move your hands.’ He announces then you feel him take your hands and pull them away from your face. You look at him, tears in your eyes, a look of pure fear across your face. ‘Breathe with me, doll. Can you do that?’ He asks and you manage to nod. He speeds his breathing up to your pace then gradually slows it, you follow him as best as you can and eventually you get your breathing back to normal, with the occasional hiccup or sharp intake.

Once he sees you are ok, he lets go of your hands and sits on the floor as far away as he can. You both continue to sit in silence.

‘Thank you.’ You eventually manage to whisper, he nods without meeting your eye.

You can’t help but feel disappointed, you just got to see a caring side of Bucky and it felt amazing to be on the receiving end of it, but now you are back to him not giving a shit about you. You go back and forth wondering whether it is the right time to bring up the issues between you two. If not now, when?

‘Why do you hate me so much?’ He looks across at you and sighs before he answers.

‘I don’t hate you.’

‘Yes you do. It seems like you go out of your way to make me miserable.’ You push, making him lean his head back on the wall behind him.

‘I don’t hate you. I just don’t like how you formed opinions about me so early on. You wanted me off the team before I even got cleared to be on the team.’ Bucky explains. You stare at him in confusion.

‘How do you know what opinions I formed of you? I may have wanted you off the team but it was only because you were mean and that was after you were cleared.’ You could feel yourself starting to get angry.

‘Then how come I overheard you talking about the first time we met to Nat, you said I was blunt and rude. Then after I accidentally bumped into you, you told Steve you wanted me off the team.’ Bucky says agitatedly.

‘I never-‘ you think back to any conversations you had with Nat and Steve about Bucky. The only ones that came to mind were asking them if they knew why Bucky didn’t like you. Then it hits you, he had overheard you talking to Steve and Nat about Arthur. You sighed.

‘Let me guess, you overheard me and Nat talking not long after we first met. We were in Nat’s room getting ready to go train?’ You ask and he nods.

‘Then the conversation you overheard with Steve was straight after we bumped into each other. We were in the common room?’ Bucky looks confused but nods again.

‘You are such a prick. You eavesdrop but don’t even listen long enough to hear who we were talking about.’ You can’t help but chuckle at the situation, even though it’s not particularly funny.

‘What?’ Bucky looks more confused than ever.

‘Well, if you had listened properly to the whole conversation you would know I was talking about that asshat agent, Arthur.’ That came out more blunt than you intended.

‘The recruit that got bumped down a few squads even though he is really good?’

‘Yep. That’s the one’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Before you came Steve and Nat had been setting me up on blind dates with people. Arthur was the fifth one, I really didn’t want to go so Steve convinced me by saying they were friends and all this nice stuff about him.’ You pause to take a deep breath. ‘The day we met, I had just come from the date with him and it was awful. That's what me and Nat were talking about. Then when we bumped into each other in the hallway, I had just come from a meeting with the recruits. Arthur had been inappropriate and he hurt my arm, I was rushing to Steve to tell him and ask if he can be kicked off the team.’ You finally manage to say and Bucky just looks at you. You can see the cogs turning in his head as he is finally getting context to the snippets of conversation he overheard.

‘Shit. I am so sorry. I am such an idiot.’ He scolds himself and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

‘I am not going to disagree with you, but we have both said and done some pretty nasty stuff. I am sorry for any hurt I caused you.’  You say sincerely and he looks over to you and smiles.

‘So you didn’t think I was rude when we first met?’ He still holds your eye contact and you take a moment to look at him. You have never seen him look so vulnerable before, he almost looked scared.

‘No, Bucky, I thought you were probably nervous or tired from meeting loads of new people.’ You explain and his shoulders fall.

‘I feel like such a jerk.’ He sighs and you scoot yourself closer to him so he has to look at you.

‘I’m not all that innocent in this either. It was a misunderstanding. I am just glad we have cleared it up now.’ You say meaning it and he smiles earnestly back at you. It is something you have never experienced first-hand. You have seen him give those gorgeous, slightly lopsided, smiles to other people but seeing one directed at you causes a rush of heat to your cheeks and you find yourself blushing.

Bucky must have been thinking along the same lines ‘You’re cute when you blush. I have never seen this side of you before.’ He brushes some hair out of your face and behind your ear. ‘You know, part of the reason I was so nervous when I first met you was because I was taken off guard by how beautiful you are.’ His cheeks flush slightly at his confession.

Before you can say anything the elevator jerks again and starts moving, you and Bucky are quick on your feet, preparing yourself for the doors to open.

When they finally do you are met with a group of Hydra agents ready to attack. You and Bucky work in tandem, playing off each other’s strengths. When the Hydra agents realize this, they work to separate you. The majority of them are on Bucky but you are fighting four at once. You are onto the last one when he raises his gun to shoot but you force his arm down. Not quick enough, it fires and clips your calf causing you to cry out from the pain 

It is not as bad as actually being shot in the leg but it still hurts like hell and you can’t put pressure on it. The room is pretty silent apart from footsteps you recognise to be Bucky approaching. You move quickly and uppercut the guy in the nose. The crack echoes throughout the room as the guy falls to the floor at your feet.

You turn to Bucky, his mouth agape and eyebrows raised in shock. ‘That was hot.’ He announces finally, making you laugh, you go to take a step towards him but realise too late that your injured leg won’t hold your weight. You would have fallen to the floor if Bucky hadn’t rushed to catch you.

‘Thanks.’ You chuckle, your faces are extremely close. Your eyes completely entranced in his. Your whole body warms at the safe feeling of being in his arms. You start to wonder what it would be like to fall asleep in these arms, to wake up the next morning still wrapped up in them. Protected.

You force yourself back to reality by clearing your throat. ‘We should probably get back to the team.’ You say and he nods. He puts his arm around your waist and you put yours over his shoulders to use him as a crutch.

The ride back up in the elevator goes smoothly this time and before you know it you are hobbling up to the quinjet where the rest of the team awaits. Natasha and Steve are both looking back and forth from you to Bucky in confusion.

‘What the hell happened?’ Steve asks not trying to hide how baffled he is that you and Bucky are holding onto each other and not arguing. Natasha simply smirks. Bucky helps you into a seat then sits opposite you with a wink as you smile at him.

‘No, this is too weird. Please argue, bicker, roll your eyes. Anything.’ Sam begs Bucky who doesn’t break his eye contact with you. Bucky simply laughs knowing his behaviour is unsettling Sam and enjoying the newfound comradery with you.

#bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #enemies to lovers #enemies to something #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #reader insert #marvel #marvel fanfiction #avengers #avengers x reader #bucky x agent!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #mcu #mcu fic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #james buchanan barnes

[trcelyneart]

OBAN Star Racers 15th Anniversary

Hi fellow Oban fans!

As I said in a previous post, today was the celebration of Oban’s 15th anniversary, which was held in Paris in a little cinema. It was obviously hosted by Savin Yeatman-Eiffel himself, as well as Stanislas Brunet who worked on the mecha and background designs.

So it went like this: Savin made a presentation about the series in itself, how the idea came to be, the first sketches made by himself and his friends, and all the struggles he and Sav! The World studios faced during the production. The hardest part was finding funds to produce the series, since making a single episode can cost up to half a millions euros.

The French VAs of Molly and Aikka were there too, and they redubbed one of the scenes live! The funniest part was that the guy who did Aikka’s voice is a tall, bearded, burly guy with the kind of voice you’d expect from a dude with that build; and yet when he did Aikka’s part I was speechless!!! Then Savin invited two people in stage to redo the dub for fun. The girl who did it had a voice that strangely sounded like Molly’s, but the poor guy who did Aikka’s part probably didn’t remember the passage well despite the subtitles and stammered a lot. But it was nice!

Savin had planned to talk about The Two Queens movie but he didn’t have the time. I asked him about the project afterwards, and he told me that he still wanted to do it, but like Oban, he had troubles funding it. By the time he pitched it, Netflix was not into funding indie projects yet. He also started working on other projects with several studios so The Two Queens had to unfortunately be put on stand-by.

And then. OH THEN. He talked about the thing we ALL wanted to know:

The Sequel

Savin explicitly asked us to not film or take pictures, so I won’t talk about it in detail. But basically there is not one, but THREE project ideas:

1) A sequel based on the picture released back in 2017 with a brand-new plot but still related to the Oban lore. He doesn’t know if the girl would be Molly or Molly’s descendant.

2) An Aikka spin-off prequel. I WAS SO HYPED.

3) A sequel where Molly takes up on Aikka’s offer to visit his planet.

He tested the waters to see which project seemed to please us the most, which was project 1 - I told him, to quote my own words “I’m team Aikka, so my hype for the second project is HELLA BIG, but I honestly won’t care I’m willing to pull out the chekbook as long as it’s Oban related” - and project 2 was rather popular but we suggested he switched media (like making a comic).

I asked him the same question I asked Thomas Romain when I met him at the Japan Expo Sud back in 2018: could we help funding it through Kickstarter for example? Unfortunately, like the original series, we’re talking about millions of euros here so we can’t help that much.

Then we moved on to the next part: VIDEO GAMES. There was a Nintendo DS game originally planned but the studio let him down at the last minute. He showed us some footage of the game which looked quite good (mid-2000s DS game relatively speaking).

He also officially announced that today was released an Oban fangame via Playstation Dreams called Oban Star Racers Dreams by Sky Isle Studios.

There’s also another game - still in its project phase - for PC which would hopefully be released in a few years.

Last but not least: if you guys follow Savin Yeatman-Eiffel on twitter, you might know that he got back the rights of Oban and has been gradually collecting the dubs that had been made (apparently the Brazilian release stopped at ep 18, which means they never got the end!!) to re-release the series as blu-ray. The said blu-ray collection will be up on Kickstarter in Frebruary 2022, with several stretch goals and packs - from the complete OST digital release to packs with original drawings and figurines - so stay tuned!

Although he knows the fandom never died, Savin hopes that we can gather new people and touch a larger public. I suggested for example to release the show on Netflix, because it will find some new public!

#célyne talks #oban star racers #prince aikka #molly wei #eva wei #jordan wylde #oban star racers sequel #savin yeatman-eiffel #thomas romain

[bulletnotestudies]

✨ how to deal with failure: a brief guide for the completely done and utterly fed up student ✨

first of all, recognise - and i don’t mean just read, internalise it - that failing is okay. you’re not dumb, you’re not unworthy of taking the class, you might’ve not even necessarily had the wrong approach; you did, however, in any case, have bad luck. and that can be changed. it absolutely can be changed and you do have the time to adjust your studying so you can make up for the misstep. it’s gon be okay buttercup <3

1. vent to a friend/sb you’re close with

i personally attacked my bestie, talked to a few other ppl, and it helped get some of the frustration out. it’s also important you learn to speak to yourself how you would to a friend - you certainly wouldn’t tell them they’re a failure and won’t come back from this, would you? what you actively tell yourself shapes your subconscious thoughts.

2. catch up on the self care you’ve neglected when studying

get a long shower to wash the exam off, eat your meals slowly, get enough sleep (!), clean your room (unburden The Chair™ - srsly, do your laundry - and vacuum, change your bedsheets perhaps?)

3. make a study plan for the retake

be sure to make it realistic and flexible so you don’t end up inducing more stress (helpful posts: 1 2 3 4 (not mine)), try to finish all the topics at least 3 days before the exam so you can spend the last days refreshing your knowledge and preparing mentally instead of cramming.

4. reflect (critically) on your studying so far

is there anything you can do to get more out of your time? quality over quantity is super important when it comes to revision; try implementing more active recall into your study sessions (some posts you can consult on this topic: 1 2 3 (not mine), what is active recall?) and spacing them out more; try to avoid cramming as it increases your stress levels and isn’t as affective with committing information to memory. also, if you asses you could use some help, reach out! ask a friend, get in touch with your professor, seek advice online… getting help = showing readiness for improvement = mature and very welcome!

5. schedule self-care time

when you’re making your study plan, remember to also think of your mental and physical health ● you can space out little acts of self care throughout the week (i.e. take a bubble bath every sunday, schedule a weekly video call with your best friend, allot time to spend with your s/o, do a quick workout every day,…) ● or have a ‘mental health day’ for a whole day each week (i.e. on saturdays, only do things you enjoy - spend the day reading/drawing/binging netflix/baking/…); i personally like to space my self care throughout the week and go for a walk with my best friend every two weeks or so. i’m not kidding, schedule your ‘me’ time into your planner. write. it. down.

6. sleep

i’ve mentioned it already but it’s so important it deserves it’s own bullet point - remember to also take good care of your brain. it is, after all, the organ working the hardest here. a whole day of studying, doing chores, talking to people, etc. has your synapses firing away like crazy, so sleeping is vital for them to recover and come back stronger the next day. give them time to cool down, process the information you’ve gathered throughout the day and store it somewhere you can access it later. seriously. an important note here: there isn’t a single amount of sleep that is optimal for everyone - some people work best on 6 hours of sleep, some can’t go on less than 9. dedicate yourself to figuring out what works best for you and learn to plan your wake up time. ● option no. 1: get into the habit of going to sleep and waking up every. day. at. the. same. time. - a good routine is even more vital in these times when time doesn’t even matter bc we literally don’t go anywhere ever. ● option no. 2: if your uni/work schedule doesn’t allow you to establish a daily routine, try using sleepyti.me to calculate when you should wake up to feel most refreshed :)

hopefully these points can serve as a base/reference for your academic rebound <3 i wrote them up after straight up skipping the grieving-this-is-unfair phase of failure and just being left with a slightly-pissed-but-definitely-fed-up-with-this-class feeling. it dawned on me that i surely can’t be the only one facing this, so i decided to share this and hopefully help you guys out as well:) keep in mind: your worth has zero correlation with your grades, you’re a bad bitch and will not stop bc life tried to knock u down - here’s a quote i like: when life knocks you down, calmly get back up and very politely say, “you hit like a bitch”. after that, u can follow these steps and flourish x

#we all fail sometimes!! literally no one succeeds 100% of the time; so here's the result of my recent failure.. add your tips in the reblog! #sabrinas posts #sabrinas masterposts #studyblr #study masterpost #stuhde #noodledesk #academiix #lookrylie #gloomstudy #stillstudies #sonderstudy #heypat #heyfox #philologystudies #studyvan #myhoneststudyblr #studylustre #lookbuse #heyharri

[hockey-fics]

Does He Know ~ Matthew Tkachuk 

Summary: Your new relationship will never compare to the relationship you had with Matt and you and Matt both know it. 

Word Count: ~6k

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, references to anxiety 

A/N: There’s usage of bold and italics to reference timeframe changes, hopefully they make sense! Everything in italics are flashbacks. 

“This one is cute,” you say to Adam, showing him a picture a stranger had offered to take of you two while you were out walking through a local park. Adam with his arms wrapped around you, you looking up into his eyes. It was candid, the ones that followed were with one of his arms around your waist, both of you with plastered smiles. 

“It is,” he hums in agreement, barely peeling his eyes off his video game to look. “You going to post that on your Instagram?”

Adam had made comments here and there about how you never posted with him. When you got together you still had plenty of pictures with Matthew. You still had a few up, not bringing yourself to delete all the memories of Matthew from your social media. Matthew. You knew you were still in love with him.

You had been with him for almost four years. You were so completely and wholly in love with him. Nothing bad had happened to end things, nothing to make it easier to end that relationship. When you got together with Adam eight months after the breakup with Matt your friends and family accepted it, believing easily that you were over Matt. But you truly wondered how they could assume that when you had spent so long entirely wrapped up in your love with Matt. 

But the comments had started getting to you. From your friends. From your family. Matthew’s career was unpredictable. You never knew what was going to happen with him. They would ask about him getting traded. And you were confident that wouldn’t happen for the time being, but what if it did? How could you settle down with someone who could be moved across the country, or to a new country, just like that? For a career that was entirely unpredictable as well. He could get hurt and his career could be over just like that. It was a short career at that, and then what? 

You were still young, you always brought that up. But you had let it wear you down to the point of becoming more and more distant with Matt. Your mind was constantly full of worries. You started to wonder if they were right. Would it be safer and easier to settle down with someone who had a stable, traditional career? 

So you ended it with Matt, through shaky sobs on your couch. And then you ended up in his arms, crying for an absurd about of time over a breakup you were initiating. He tried to change your mind, tried to convince you that he would always be there for you, that whatever happened you two could figure it out…together. But you had already told your parents that you were ending things with him and you felt like you couldn’t back out of it now. 

You were trying so hard to move on from him with Adam. But it never felt the same. It had been three months and you couldn’t even begin to compare it to your relationship with Matt. From the very beginning with Matt you knew it was different, you had a spark that you didn’t have with Adam. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you mutter, opening Instagram. You post it quickly, before giving yourself too much time to think about it, to reconsider. 

The next morning you wake up to your phone vibrating on your bed beside you and you’re barely awake but you answer it immediately after seeing Matt’s name on your screen. “Matt?” You whisper groggily as you sit up in your bed, rubbing your eyes. 

“You have a boyfriend?”

“No,” you reply quickly, not awake or alert enough to realize what you were saying. “I mean, yes, yeah, I guess I do.”

“You guess? What does that mean?”

“I don’t know…nothing. I just, yeah, I have a boyfriend.”

“Does he make you happy?”

You’re caught off guard by the question, silent for a few seconds too long. “Yeah, I think so.”

“He doesn’t know you like I do, Y/N.”

“Matt,” you whisper, pulling your knees to your chest, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Does he know what kind of chapstick you use and that you can’t go anywhere without it?”

‘I’m here’

You were spending the entire day with Matt. It was one of the few days he was both back in Calgary and had a full day off during the hockey season. Hurrying down the stairs of your apartment building you hop into his car, eagerly leaning over and pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Hi,” he chuckles, kissing you again before leaning back into his seat and pulling away from the curb. “Breakfast?”

“Yes, please,” you say, pulling on your seatbelt. Leaning forward you grab your purse, rifling through it for a minute before sighing loudly. “Matt,” you say in a sing-song tone, an obvious indication that you were about to ask for something. 

“What?” He asks, glancing over at you with a knowing smile. 

“Can we go back?”

“Why? What did you forget?” He laughs. 

“My chapstick.”

Reaching beside him Matt opens the console, taking his eyes off the road for only a second before picking up a small tube of chapstick, extending it towards you. Your eyes focus on the small object before reaching over and taking it, turning it over and over again in your had. It was the exact kind you used. Tinted cherry chapstick. You couldn’t imagine Matt would be willingly using a tinted chapstick. 

“That’s the right one, right?” Matt asks, glancing over at you. 

“Yes,” you comment, pulling the lid off and swiping on a layer. “Where did it come from? Did I leave it in here?”

Matt chuckles, shaking his head. “I bought it…in case you forgot yours.”

You can feel your heart swell with happiness and appreciation for Matt, never thinking chapstick could mean so much. 

“Does he know that you bite your nails when you get nervous?"

“You okay?” 

Glancing up you look at Matt, standing in the doorway of your living room. “Fine,” you reply, looking back down at your computer and twelfth ‘common job interview’ website you had scrolled through that morning. 

“You just painted them,” Matt comments gesturing to your nails as he walks over and sits down on the couch beside you. You had spent the morning getting ready for a job interview. Painting your nails, doing your hair and makeup, picking an outfit. 

Glancing down at your hands you realize you had been biting your nails again, sighing softly. “It’s a bad habit,” you mutter, eyes trained on the computer screen again. 

“I think you’re more than prepared. Maybe you should give it a break,” Matt suggests, watching you contemplate it before you slowly reach over to shut your computer. 

“You’re right,” you agree, setting your laptop down and leaning back on the couch. It’s only a couple seconds before you’re back to rehearsing answers in your head, brining your thumb towards your mouth. But Matthew catches it on the way, holding your hand gently as he brings it to rest on his thigh, fingers folded between yours.  

“Say them out loud,” Matt suggests. 

So the two of you sit there on the couch, rehearsing job interview questions while Matt holds both your hands. He made reassuring comments, letting you know how smart and put together you sounded. He didn’t have the most constructive criticism to give, having limited job interview experience. But having him listen was helpful enough. And when you left for your interview an hour later you made a promise to leave your nails alone and to take a deep breath before meeting with your interviewer. When you first met Matt you never would have assumed he would be be such a major part of helping you deal with your anxiety, but you were so incredibly grateful for that. Especially when you got the job, knowing it was Matt who helped you stay calm enough to get through the interview. 

“Does he know that you have to fall asleep every night to Parks and Recreation playing?’

Curling into your bed you reach for the remote, turning on your TV and quickly navigating through Netflix to your recently watched category, Parks and Rec front and centre. Starting it you lay down next to Matthew, the remote landing somewhere amongst the layers of blankets on your bed. But before you even have the chance to watch any of the show you’ve rolled onto your side, away from the TV. 

Matthew lays there, propped up with a few pillows with the full intention of watching the show. He stares at you with furrowed eyebrows for a second before saying anything. “I thought you wanted to watch this?”

“Hm?” You hum, glancing over your shoulder at him. “No, I told you I wanted to go to bed.”

Matthew gestures towards the TV. “Why did you put this on then?” He presses his hand into your shoulder, rolling you over onto your back so you were looking up at him. 

“I need it to fall asleep to,” you tell him, giggling at how perplexed he was by the whole situation. It was the first time Matt was spending the night that wasn’t the result of you two having sex first, just spending the night because you didn’t want to be apart, even when you were just sleeping. 

Matthew looks to the TV for a second before turning his head to look back down at you. “Like, just the TV or Parks and Recreation in particular.”

Laughing you roll over completely onto your stomach, arm draped over Matthew’s body as you rest your head on his chest. “Parks and Rec in particular.”

“That’s…weird,” Matthew chuckles, running his hand along your back. 

“Goodnight, Matt,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “Also, you’re the weird one.”

“Does he know how you take your coffee? And how it changes depending on the place you go?”

“Thank you,” you say happily as Matthew hands you a mug of freshly brewed coffee. You were curled up on the couch, working on a school assignment that was due in a few hours. You were intending to finish it the night before but Matt had texted, asking if he could come over. He promised not to distract you from it but an hour after he arrived you were sprawled on your bed, a naked mess as Matt took away all of the stress for your school work.

“I still can’t believe you drink your coffee black,” he comments, nose crinkled as he drops down onto the other side of the couch, pulling his phone out. 

Laughing you bring it to your lips, taking a sip. “Not always,” you point out, eyes fixed on your laptop screen as you read through the work you had always finished. 

“Extra hot vanilla latte with non-fat milk,” Matt says, not even needing a moment to think about it. 

“Unless,” you begin, smiling as you glance up over the top of your laptop to where Matt was sitting. 

“It’s hot out, then you get a double shot on ice from Starbucks with caramel syrup instead of classic.”

You giggle quietly, staring at Matt with a soft smile, your eyes filled with admiration. Because you couldn’t get over how much you loved him. How he remembered the little things, would go out of his way to bring you things you liked to surprise you. 

“Does he know about the scar on your knee and the story of how you got it?”

You were stretched out on a patio sofa in Matt’s parent’s backyard. It was sunny and almost excruciatingly hot. You had gone back with him for a week in the summer. Of course you didn’t have an off season. You would have to go home to Calgary to continue on with your life. But for one week you were enjoying being there with him, with his family, hearing all about his childhood and thanks to his siblings, that included the embarrassing stuff. In a couple months you would be celebrating your one year anniversary and you were so content and happy with Matt. 

Matt was sitting beside you, your legs stretched over his as he runs his fingers up and down your bare legs, his phone in his spare hand while you were halfway through a novel. “What’s this one from?”

Lowering your book you look at Matt over the top of it. “Hmm?” Your eyes fall to where his thumb was running over a scar along your knee. “Oh,” you comment, realizing what he was asking as you set your book to the side. “When I was ten I was playing in the forest with my best friend and her brother. We found a creek and her brother thought it would be funny to pretend to push me over the embankment into it but I actually fell and bashed my leg on one of the rocks on the way down.”

“What an asshole,” Matt comments, thumb still absentmindedly brushing over it. 

“He was twelve and didn’t actually think I would fall,” you say, defending him. 

“Still an asshole.”

“I still talk to him…would you like to tell him that yourself?” You joke. 

“Yeah, I’ll push him down an embankment for you.”

Laughing you roll your eyes. “He’s literally the nicest guy, doesn’t deserve that.”

“He’s the nicest guy?” Matt asks, eyebrows raised. 

Giggling you reach over, grabbing Matt’s hand. “You’re a close second,” you tease. 

Matt shakes his head, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing them to the back of your hand. “Guess I have to step it up.”

“Does he know your favourite dessert and how to make it just right?”

“It’s so great to finally meet you, Matthew,” your grandmother says, reaching her arms up to pull Matt into a hug. Her short, small stature made the hug almost comical, like a child compared to Matt. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

“It’s really nice to meet you too. Thank you so much for having me over for dinner,” Matt replies. 

It was Thanksgiving Day and you had invited Matt to your grandparent’s house for dinner. The majority of your family was going to be there and you could tell there was a bit of hesitation from Matt, nerves. But you assured him that they would all love him and he seemed to calm down at little. And how could they not love him? He made you happier than you had ever been with another person, they could all simply see it. Not to mention how you never stopped talking about Matt and how great he was. 

“Of course, you’re always welcome here for dinner, holiday or not,” your grandma tells him, staring up at his face for a second, shamelessly inspecting him. “He really is as cute as you said,” she states, directing the comment at you. 

“Nana,” you groan, shaking your head as you walk over and pull her into a hug. “You’re going to inflate his ego too much.”

Your grandma simply laughs, pulling back to look up at you this time. She pats your cheek gently, wide smile on her face. “Well you needed to find someone just a fraction of how beautiful you are to be able to keep up with you.”

Laughing you glance over at Matt, smiling softly. He was a lot more than a fraction of how attractive you were. But you did appreciate your grandma’s attempt at levelling out his ego again. “Do you need some help in the kitchen?” You offer, knowing that even if she were to get you to help it would be with the simplest tasks, very protective over her meals. 

“No, no. You two go join everyone else in the living room. I’m quite alright in here.”

“Are you sure?” You ask again, knowing sometimes it was just her nature to take on too much. “Did you make that apple crumble you always make?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” she assures you. “And of course I did, I know it’s your favourite.”

“She’s been talking about this apple crumble for a week now,” Matt chimes in, making your grandma laugh. 

“It’s really good,” you comment, double checking with your grandma once again that she didn’t need help before heading into the living room with Matt to see everyone else. 

After a couple more hours of hanging out with your family, everyone getting to know Matt more than they had before, you head into the dining room for dinner. Of course everything was incredible, a ridiculous amount of food spread out on the table. But it was your grandmother’s nature, to provide so much more than was necessary and then send everyone home with enough leftovers to feed everyone for a week. 

Once dinner was over you were in the kitchen, everyone helping clean up. Your grandma had finally moved to the living room, trusting everyone to at least clean up correctly. Matt had helped for awhile before disappearing sometime between packing up the the leftovers and doing the dishes. You hadn’t noticed, too preoccupied with cleaning and talking to your family, till your mom pointed out his absence. 

“Trying to get out of working,” you joke, drying your hands on the towel that was hanging over the oven door handle. Walking into the living room you find Matt sitting beside your grandma, discussing something that clearly made your grandma happy, a big smile on her face, eyes twinkling. “What are you two up to?”

Matt looks over, reaching for your hand as you get closer and gently pulling you onto the couch beside him. “I’m just hearing all your embarrassing childhood stories.”

“Oh, good,” you laugh, leaning into his side, head resting on his shoulder. 

“You picked a good one,” your grandma tells you and you turn your head to look up at Matt. 

“I know,” you say softly, squeezing Matt’s hand. 

Later that night you head home with an overwhelming sense of comfort. Matt was slowly becoming more and more a part of your life. You knew each other’s families. You were practically living together, inseparable when you neither of you were busy. 

What you didn’t realize until much later was that Matt had snuck away from the rest of the family after dinner to ask your grandma if he could have the recipe for the apple crumble. Because it was your favourite and he wanted to be able to surprise you with it. So your grandma happily agreed, rattling it off out of memory while Matt made frantic notes on his phone about the ingredients and the exact way to prepare and all the tips and tricks your grandma gave him. 

And when you showed up at Matt’s apartment one afternoon two months later you could smell the familiar smell immediately. You were so caught off guard by the simple act of Matt trying to do that for you that you didn’t even care that he had burnt it, just a little.

“Does he know that you have a playlist that you listen to when you’re sad?”

“Hey babe,” Matt says through the phone, voice gentle and quiet. Matt was on the road for a stretch of games. You knew it was his job, you couldn’t complain about it. But after a hard day you just wished you could be with your boyfriend. However, you hadn’t told him about your terrible day, the stress of school on top of a bad day at work. You didn’t want him to worry. And it wasn’t like you didn’t call each other all the time, but the way he was greeting you was like he somehow knew something was wrong. 

“Hi,” you whisper, your eyes suddenly welling with tears. 

“How was your day? Everything okay?” 

“Not great,” you whisper, wiping at your eyes. “How did you know?”

“Your Spotify…I can see what my friends are listening to.”

You can’t help but laugh quietly, tuning into the song that was currently playing over the speaker in your apartment. Shelter from the Storm by Joshua Hyslop. Your playlist with the crying emoji. There was no denying it. 

“Guess I need to use the private session function next time.”

“What? No. Babe, I want to know what’s going on. What’s wrong?” Matt asks, his tone very clearly worried. Exactly what you didn’t want to happen. You didn’t want to burden him with your bad days. 

“It was just a bad day, it’s not a big deal. Tomorrow will be better,” you assure him, curling up further into yourself on the couch. 

Matt is silent for a second, just the sound of a muffled TV playing in the background. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s nothing major, I don’t want you to have to worry about my issues.”

“You’re my girlfriend, Y/N. I love you. I want to know when you’re having a bad day, I want to hear about it. Don’t push me away.”

Your eyes flood with tears again, slipping down your cheeks quicker now. Not even because you were that sad about your day. But because you were so overwhelmed with emotions. So grateful to have Matt in your life, so happy to have someone that you you could not just simply rely on but who wants you to rely on them, who wants to be there for you. 

“Does he know that the taste of tequila reminds you of you freshman year of university and that it seems to get you drunker than any other alcohol?”

The Flames had just had a massive win, Matt scoring two goals in the game and was on another level. You had gone down to see him after the game and before you even got a word out he had his arms around your waist, lifting you off your feet and spinning around with you in his arms. 

“Congratulations, bub,” you whisper into his ear, giggling as you clutch onto him. 

“You’re coming for drinks with us tonight, right?” Matt asks, finally letting you plant your feet back on the ground. 

“I guess,” you laugh, leaning up and pressing your lips to his for a quick, gentle kiss. But before you know it he has his hands on your hips, keeping you close as he deepens the kiss. “Matt,” you whisper, pulling back a little. “We’re in public.”

“Right,” he chuckles, pulling away a tiny bit. “I love you so much, I’m so happy you were able to come to the game tonight.”

His excitement makes you laugh, your hands sliding down his arms to clutch both his hands in yours. “I love you too and you know I’m going to be at every game I can…always.” 

A few hours later you’re standing a the bar in a crowded nightclub, Matt standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist. Noah and Johnny were standing next to you and Matt, laughing about something that happened during the game. 

The bartender stops in front of your group, asking for orders. “Four tequila shots,” Noah says, taking the reins for everyone. 

Matthew chuckles from behind you as he hears the word tequila, knowing your stories about tequila in university. “Oh no.” you whine, tipping your head back onto Matt’s shoulder. 

Four tequila shots are set onto the counter in front of you guys and Matt reaches over to grab one for himself, Johnny and Noah taking theirs as well. Pulling away from Matt you turn to face the little circle the four of you had made. Reaching over you go to take the shot off the bar, pulling back and then reaching for it again, repeating the process a couple more times. 

“What’s she doing?” Noah asks, glancing at Matt as the three of them watch you extend your hand toward the shot before hesitating again and again. 

Matt laughs, his hand still resting on your hip. “Hyping herself up.”

“I don’t want to,” you laugh, finally picking up the shot. 

“Don’t turn down my gift to you,” Noah laughs and the four of you cheers before downing your shots. The liquid burns and sends a shiver through your body as you wince. 

“Tastes like getting blackout drunk,” you comment, setting the tiny, empty glass back onto the counter. 

And Noah doesn’t let you off the hook, buying you a few more tequila shots throughout the night. When you leave the bar that night both you and Matt are stumbling, giggling messes, climbing clumsily into the back of an Uber and ending up back at your apartment. Despite the pounding headache and vague nausea the next morning you had to admit that the night was beyond worth it. 

“Does he know about your fear of parking in parkades?”

You had circled the block four times already, looking for a place to park in the busy downtown block. It was a beautiful summer day, you really should have anticipated that it would be this busy. 

“Oh, let’s just park in there,” Matt suggests, pointing to the public parking parkade just down the road. 

You can feel your heart speed up a little, your palms sweating at the thought of pulling into the parkade. “I’m sure we’ll find something out here.”

Matthew chuckles, glancing over at you. “Why? It clearly says there’s still like one hundred parking spots in there.”

“I just don’t want to, okay?” You snap, grip tightening on the steering wheel. You were suddenly regretting offering to drive. Typically you enjoyed driving, but now you wanted to press rewind and just get in the passenger’s seat instead. 

“Woah, okay,” Matt mumbles, wide eyes focused on you, trying to figure out where your sudden outburst came from. “What’s going on?”

“I just…they just give me anxiety. They’re so cramped and dark and people come speeding around the corner and I-.”

“Pull over here,” Matt tells you, pointing towards an empty spot along the curb a few feet ahead of you. 

“What? We can’t park there, it clearly says no parking.”

“We’re not parking, just pull over for a second, okay?”

Doing as he says you pull up along the curb, shifting the car into park and glancing over at Matt. But he was already getting out, jogging around the front of your car to your door. You realize what’s going on when he pulls your door open and you climb out of the car, standing in front of him. “I love you,” you blurt out. 

It was the first time you said it. And the timing was terrible, standing on the side of the street parked in a no-parking space. But you meant it. He hadn’t questioned your irrational fear, hadn’t laughed or made you feel bad about it. He accepted it and found a solution without making a big deal about it. 

“Does he know that you want to have three kids and a golden retriever when you get older?”

You lay on the blanket beside Matt, the empty bottle of wine laying beside you along with the remnants of your picnic dinner. His arm was behind you, your head on his bicep. The sky above you is clear and dark, speckled with bright stars. You and Matt had walked to the lookout at the park down the road from your apartment, the one you had talked about wanting to go to so many times since you moved there but never got around to. You had lived in that apartment for almost three years, it was time. He brought wine and a charcuterie board which you were incredibly impressed with, even if he bought it already made from the grocery store. 

“The world is crazy,” you whisper, fiddling with Matt’s fingers, his arm draped over his stomach, hand resting on your torso. 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, like…the universe is so huge and there’s so many people on earth and like…we’re so insignificant. But we still all have all these big dreams and life plans that seem so massive and important.”

“Heavy thoughts.” Matt chuckles quietly, turning his head to the side to look at you. “What are yours?”

“What?” You whisper, turning your head to look at him, nose to nose with him now. 

“Your big life plans.” 

Looking back up at the stars you take a deep breath. “I want to get my degree and start a career. Get married, buy a house in a nice neighbourhood. I want to get a dog…a golden retriever. Start a family…three…I want three kids.”

“Three?” Matt chimes in, sounding surprised. 

Rolling onto your side you look down at Matt, his hand falling to your waist. “You have two siblings,” you point out.

“And I didn’t have to raise us…thank god,” Matt chuckles. 

“I think you could handle it,” you tell him, running your fingers along his chest. “I think you’re going to be a great dad one day.”

“Maybe,” Matt whispers, tugging you a little closer. “If it’s you I’m having kids with.”

“Should we go back to my apartment and practice?”

“Practice?” Matt asks, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Making babies, we need to have it perfected for when we have to bring three of them into the world.”

Matt chuckles, sitting up with comedic speed. “I kinda thought we were already pretty good at that but not going to say no to more practice.”

“More than pretty good,” you tell him, letting him grab your hands and help you to your feet. And the two of you hurry back to your apartment like excited school kids, not once taking your hands off each other, giggling the entire way.

“Does he know that you have a secret Pinterest board full of wedding ideas?”

Laying on the couch in your living room you wait for Matt to get out of the shower. Matt still had his own apartment, living with a roommate. But he spent more nights at your house than he did at his own, a section of your closet and a few drawers of your dresser now his. 

You click on a picture from the screen full of them, a beautiful wedding gown filling your screen a moment later. Tapping quickly you pin it to your wedding Pinterest board. A board that nobody knew about because a part of you was deeply embarrassed about it, about how much thought you’ve put into a future wedding. 

“What’s that?” 

Quickly slamming your laptop shut you whirl around to look up at Matt, his hair still damp from the shower, smelling like the cologne you loved. “You scared me, I thought you would take longer.”

“I feel like I should be suspicious of that reaction but it didn’t really look like something I should be suspicious about…Unless you have a secret fiancé you’re planning a wedding with.”

Rolling your eyes playfully you pull your knees to your chest, your laptop coming with it. “It’s nothing.”

“Was it a wedding dress?” Matt asks, plopping down onto the couch beside you. 

Groaning dramatically you pivot to face the same direction as him, tossing one of your legs over his thigh as you scoot closer, opening your laptop again and facing it towards him. 

“Oh, wow,” Matt mumbles under his breath as he scrolls through the Pinterest board. “This is a lot more than just a wedding dress.”

“It’s embarrassing,” you whine. “Stop scrolling,” you giggle, swatting his hand away from the keyboard. 

“Is it a hint?” Matt asks, chuckling as he turns to look at you. 

“What? No,” you exclaim, laughing. But it wasn’t the craziest thing he could have said. You two had been together for over two years.  You were so in love with Matt, it felt impossible for you to love him more than you already did and yet everyday you seemed to fall more in love with him. “Matt, I’ve had that dumb Pinterest board since before I even met you.”

“Well at least we won’t have to spend too much time planning in the future, you’ve already figured it all out.”

“Who said I’m going to marry you?” 

Matt scoffs, shaking his head as he sets your laptop aside. “We’re made for each other.“

Smiling you lean over, kissing him gently. “Yeah, we are,” you whisper. 

By the time Matt finishes talking tears are streaming down your cheeks, dripping off your face and onto the blankets of your bed. “I still love you,” you blurt out before you even realize what you’re saying. 

“I still love you too, Y/N. I don’t think that’ll ever change.”

“Are you in town?” You croak, wiping at your cheeks. You knew you shouldn’t be doing this. You ended things with Matt. You had a new boyfriend. Everything about this was wrong. But you were confused and sad and didn’t know what else to do. 

“Yes,” Matt replies without hesitation. 

“Can you come over?” 

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Pulling yourself out of bed you pull on some pyjama shorts, going to the bathroom to brush your teeth and hair, trying to look a little presentable. Before you knew it there was knock on your door. Hurrying to it you pull the door open, glassy eyes locking with Matt’s a moment later. You can only keep your composure for a second before you have your arms around him, tears rolling down your cheeks again. Matt wraps his arms around your waist, stepping inside and letting the door fall shut behind you two. His embrace feels comfortable, it feels like home. “I missed you,” you whisper, muffled by your face being buried in the soft fabric of his hoodie. 

“I missed you too, babe.” Matt replies, running his hand along your back soothingly. “What’s his name?”

And just like that reality comes crashing back to you and you slowly pull away from Matt, reluctantly taking your hands off of him. Because you knew this was all incredibly wrong. “Um…A-Adam.”

Matt nods slowly, reaching over and brushing a tear off your cheek with his thumb. “How long have you two been…together?”

“A few months…not long, it’s not serious.” You fidget with the sleeve of the sweater you had pulled on, the fabric damp from wiping at the tears that hadn’t stopped falling since your first call with Matt that morning. “What about you, have you been, uh, like, seeing anyone?” Even saying the words out loud felt like someone punched you in the stomach. 

“No,” Matt admits quickly. “I’m still in love with you. I can’t.”

You feel a wash of guilt when Matt says that. Because you were still in love with Matt. You were just dragging Adam along, hoping that he would be the one to change your feelings towards Matt. You knew it wasn’t fair to him. None of this was fair to Adam. “I don’t know what to do, Matt.”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Matt says gently. 

“I need you to,” you croak, reaching up and wiping away some more tears. Your under-eyes were irritated from the fabric of your sweater, stinging and red. 

“I can’t,” Matt mutters, moving towards you, hands extended to pull you into him before he stops, pausing and pulling back. “I can’t,” he repeats, this time not about telling you what to do. But about touching you, being there for you like that, crossing the boundaries when he knew you were seeing someone else. 

“I wish I could take it back.”

“What?”

“Ending things with you.”

“Me too,” Matt agrees, eyes focused on you even though you could barely hold eye contact with him. 

“If I end things with Adam…,” you begin, trailing off as you stare down at the ground. “Could we…”

“Figure things out from there?” Matt asks, filling in your sentence with his own thoughts. 

Of course you hadn’t expected him to immediately suggest getting back together. There was a level of trust you had broken when you ended things that would need repairing. But you were willing to put in the work for that, take that risk. 

“I’d like that.”

Matt smiles softly, reaching forward and pulling you into a hug. It’s careful and tentative, like he’s still worried about crossing a line despite you telling him you were going to end things with Adam. “Me too,” Matt whispers, holding you close with no indication that he was going to let go anytime soon. 

#matt tkachuk #Matthew Tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk one shot #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk fanfic #Calgary Flames fic #hockey fanfic #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey one shot #Calgary Flames fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl one shot

[celestialrry]

unrequited

part 2!

1.1k 

summary: Harry doesn't understand why you’re ignoring him.

warnings: alcohol consumption, bitchy Harry, and angst

Having a large heart would lead to you inevitable downfall. You were sure of it. It  ruined all your past relationships, you had opened up too soon, making it way easier for them to manipulate you and then make you feel as though you had failed in some way. This happened a few times, so much so that your heart only held a place for him. 

Harry was your best friend and had been since what felt like forever. Only a few months ago did you realize that the way you loved Harry was unlike anyone else you had ever loved before. He was just so perfect how could you not fall in love with him? He came over whenever you were down with takeout and candy, he would call you at least twice a week, no matter the circumstances, the two of you would cancel plans to see each other, he would hold you and kiss everywhere on your face except for your lips, he would text you often with a picture or post of some sort followed by a “This made me think of you. xx”. It was heaven. Until it wasn't.

Articles had been coming out about Harry with some model you never learned the name of, but Harry had told you earlier that the two of them were friends. Later that week, after all the articles and posts and commotion, he had called you to rant. 

“It jus’ sucks, y’know? Every girl m’friends with, m’dating, apparently,” He sighed, phone up to his ear as he laid down on his couch. “I jus’ wanna thank you, for being friends with me all these years you know? Means a lot.”

“Of course Harry.” 

It was then you realized Harry only loved you and would continue to love you platonically. You didn’t want to be the girl he had been friends with and stayed friends with for years, who fell in love with him. It wasn't like the world didn't know who you were, years ago Harry had talked about you in an interview after you were pictured together, calling you his “best friend”. Over time when you two would go out and get papped, no one thought any more of the two of you being friends, there were no blatant signs of affection. No kisses, no hand holding, and no longing stares (on his side, at least). So they kept the story the two of you were friends, nothing more.

If you told Harry you were in love with him and he hopefully felt the same way, it would never work out. The media would have a field day, pushing the narrative that Harry could never just be friends with a woman, because the ones he did have always ended up dating him or fucking him. Which was not true at all.

So you stayed quiet, and distanced yourself in hope that the feelings you had would go away and you could go back to being friends. Of course, this wasn't fair to you or Harry, and after a few weeks of short texts and missed calls he decided that was it.

You had been moping in your flat in London, binging this new show on Netflix and drinking a few glasses of wine when suddenly a knock on your door interrupted the daze you were in. Quickly you stood up and wiped your mouth, stumbling a bit to the door. You swung it open and your eyes met familiar sage ones. 

“Harry?” 

He responded with your name, then looked behind your shoulder as if to see if anyone was there. “Can I come in?” 

You nodded, still flustered and surprised he was actually here with you. “Wha-why are you here? Is everything okay?” You asked as you closed the door behind him and followed Harry to your living room where he eyed the wine bottle and glass. 

“Are y’drunk?” He deadpanned. 

“Maybe a little tipsy but I'm fully functioning.” You responded, cowering under his glare. “Want a glass?” 

“No.”

Damn.

“So, you're here because...” You trailed off. It wasn't like you didn't want to see him, but Harry seemed awfully upset and didn't even offer you a hug when you opened the door. 

“Why have you been ignorin’ m’calls?” He entered your name at the end, enforcing his anger. 

“It was like 2 calls Harry. I’ve been busy, I can’t answer you all the time, sorry.” You apologized sarcastically and rolled your eyes. As you looked back to him you realized that maybe wasn’t the best idea. 

“And I can’t reach out to you all the time but I do! I call y’every week, even when m’on tour and doin’ press n’all. What have y’been doing that's got y’so busy? Drinking wine n’watching a show about chess? I work harder than you ever have, and if I have time for you, you have time for me.” He glowered, after gesturing to the T.V. and the wine on the coffee table. 

Your eyes widened at his words and so did his. That’s when he knew he fucked up.

“Leave.” You were infuriated by Harry yelling at you.

“M’sorry?” He asked, the furrow between his brow deepening. 

You frowned and pointed to the door. “Leave. You can not fly all the way to London and come into my flat and yell at me,” You brought your hand back to your body, pointing to your body. “Do you know how fucked up that is? I see you in person for the first time in what, 3 months, and this is what I get? You telling me I don't work as hard as you, and insulting me? Leave.”

It was rare you two fought. It was more rare that you weren't at least tearing up by the end of the conversation and it was even more rare that you left, or made him leave. Harry’s brows were now furrowed in guilt. He stepped closer to you, his hand out, wanting to grab your arm, you waist, your cheek, your shoulder, anything to make you let him stay. But you stepped backwards and shook your head, pointing to the door. 

“M’sorry pet, please-” He begged.

The wine wasn't doing you any favors, and instead fueled the fire Harry had ignited in your chest. 

“Don’t call me that, actually, don't call me until you know what the fuck caused you come over here and yell at me, and when you're ready to actually apologize, because I know you’re only saying sorry now just because you felt bad. So, leave. Now.” With that said, you left Harry in your living room while you rushed past him to the door, opening it. He knew not to say anything else, he knew you needed time, and he knew you hated him right now, but Harry would be lying if he said it didn't take everything out of him to walk past you and out into your flat building’s hallway. You shut the door as soon as he had walked out past you, his brown curls bowed in remorse. 

You needed some more wine. 

I want to do a part 2 so if this gets like 5 notes I will lol <3

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine

[star-scrambled]

how do i go about getting into octonauts?

Again, old asf ask here, so this might not be helpful to this person anymore!! But hopefully it helps the rest of you!! I’ll be addressing the shows accessibility for the most part, along with general information that could let you know if this is your thing or not!! :)

ACCESSIBILITY:

- All animated Octonauts content can be found on Netflix! This most likely doesn’t apply to every country, but I’m at least aware this is the case for the US, Canada, and the UK! You’ll find all 4 seasons, 3 movie/specials, and the Above & Beyond spin-off series!

- Unfortunately, I can’t share much from the top of my head in terms of other legal options. You can check on-demand services, what channel you may find the show airing on in your country, listings for DVDs, episodes that can be bought somewhere like iTunes, or other streaming platforms to see if anything comes up, though it won’t be as likely that you’ll find all content in the same place, especially for the Netflix exclusives (the specials and the spinoff).

- For easy/baby’s-first-pirating, Youtube is your place! The official Octonauts youtube channel frequently uploads clip compilations, and occasionally whole episodes! They even post clips from Above & Beyond! If you’re the kind of person who likes to watch things in bite-sized clips more than binging the entire thing first, this may be your preferred option! Aside from that, you will most likely find playlists and uploads of every episode in Seasons 1 to 4 anyways. The quality varies, but it’s very convenient and won’t get taken down anytime soon! Usually older cartoons eventually can have all their episodes on YouTube easy peasy, this is one of those cases.

- Now you CAN try pirating from actual pirate websites, but I don’t SUPER recommend it? Youtube uploads are just easier due to the lack of pop-ups and such, but on more popular websites like WCO and Kimcartoon, dozens of episodes are missing and can’t be found there. Some episodes, such as the Amazon Adventure, are also in REALLY terrible quality. HOWEVER: I will recommend said websites if you want to watch the Netflix specials. WCO doesn’t have Ring of Fire, but Kim might? Try it out! (If you want my take, WCO is better. The pop-ups are more tame and less invasive, and the layout is pretty user friendly.)

Other Things to Note:

- The show is CGI, and a CGI show that began in 2010 at that. While the animation in the later seasons and specials looks MILES better than the first season, even its earliest episodes are far from unbearably primitive. However, if 3D-animated cartoons REALLY aren’t your thing, you might have trouble sitting through this one. If you’re open enough, I’d give it a shot! The cute designs and vibrant, clean environments really make up for it, and in later content the character animation gets WILDLY impressive, along with the immersion of the show overall.

- DUBS! THE DUBS ARE IMPORTANT TO KNOW ABOUT! So basically, there are two different English dubs of Octonauts, the UK dub and the US dub. Most differences occur in the first season, but by this point they’re just here for the sake of familiarity with the audience. Peso (Penguin) in the UK dub is british, and gets a more latino-take on his character in the US dub. Dashi (Dog) in the UK dub is australian, and is replaced with an american accent in the US dub. Similar changes occur with their siblings, Pinto and Koshi. In the US and Canada, Netflix will automatically set you with the US dub, and I can only assume vice versa happens in the UK. If you’ve never grown up with the show, this won’t really concern you, but if you’re coming back to it and are confused why Peso and Dashi sound different, ESPECIALLY if you were a US dub-watcher, you’ll be annoyed to know that it’s hard to find the US dub outside of Netflix. Most YouTube uploads ive watched contain the UK dub, but I’m pretty sure there are US dub uploads out there, albeit in imperfect quality. Rest assured for the movies, it seems their piratable state contains the US dub! Might be sad for UK enjoyers though. I guess we all can’t win.

- I know I’ve accidentally mislead my friends into believing this show is more nuanced and driven than it is because of my analyzations of the characters, so don’t go into this expecting a cool, overarching plot!! The world building definitely gains some cool continuity eventually, especially with the spinoff, but besides that I believe this show is truly best experienced when you want to relax and have fun with it! It’s cute, funny, and really clever for a preschool show. It’s quality is, quite literally, above and beyond :)

#long post #vics silly brain zone #octonauts #LENGHTY AND INCOHERENT but I hope this kind of helps?? :)

[jkstompers]

don’t go | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past. 

word count: 3.3K 

genre: roommates, established friendship, hidden feelings, angst, slight fluff

warnings: none! :) (except maybe some typos...ignore that...haha...)

author’s note: yes hi hello! i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in so long AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS FIC THE DAY AFTER VALENTINES UGH!! I’M SLACKING, I’M SORRY!! i’ve been writing but i don’t have the motivation to finish and ugh it’s a mess in my brain right now. this fic i was able to finish though! hopefully u enjoy it ♡(ŐωŐ人) please let me know what u think! sorry again for being so inactive T口T. 

side note: this is how i imagined jungkook in this fic! his pink sweater and long hair (╯°▽°)╯ ┻━┻ .crying. 

also banner picture cred: here <3

“welcome home roomie! how was your month long vacation from me this time?” you greet jungkook when he walks into the kitchen for breakfast. he just came back last night from one of his month long rendezvous that occur way too often in your opinion. jungkook would disappear and reappear every other week or so. he never told you where he went and you never really found yourself dedicated enough to find out. 

“fun,” he answers flatly, “and to be specific, it was only two weeks.” he clarifies the time he spent away, sitting down at the island and surveying the food you laid out. you outdid yourself this morning, an array of different breakfast foods. “you made all of this?” 

you nod, “they were about to go bad, so you better finish all of it.” 

he sends you a half smile, teetering on a smirk as he takes the plate you hand him. “you doing anything today?” he asks. his fork stabs through two pancakes and moves them to his plate, shoveling bacon and eggs onto there as well. 

“on this fine sunday? sadly, no, just some homework i need to finish.” you sigh, taking a sip from your glass of water. your seat is to the right of jungkook, at the head of the island. it’s now that you really take your time to look at him. his morning look in all it’s glory. a face swollen and hair messy in the cutest way. it wasn’t fair that he was attractive during times when you’re supposed to look unattractive. his hair has grown a little longer since you last saw him, the ends of his hair touching the apples of his cheeks now. speaking of his cheeks, he stuffs them full of food and chews, his eyes wandering around the apartment until he makes contact with yours. catching you staring. 

he swallows, bringing his glass of water to his lips before speaking again, “my face that interesting to you?” the question comes with a piece of pancake on his fork, offering it to you.  

like a reflex, you open your mouth to accept the pancake. but you scrunch your nose at the remark he made, “you look different.” 

the statement is meant to be innocent, speaking of the way his hair is a little longer and how you notice a new tattoo gracing his arm. but jungkook seems to take it a little deeper, your words ringing in his head. different? does that mean you look at him different? is he prettier now? uglier? what do you mean by that? 

“do you want to go grocery shopping later?” he asks. hoping you didn’t notice the long pause he took to overthink. 

“sure,” you shrugged. a small bubble of excitement forming in your stomach. “we’re out of ice cream anyway.” you try to carry a nonchalant reaction when nods. 

when the two of you finished filling your bellies, jungkook helped you wash the dishes and clean everything up. the feeling of having him around makes you feel at ease. you wish it was like this more often. for the past two years jungkook had been your roommate, he paid his dues, cleaned his messes, and kept you company from time to time. when he wasn’t there (which was ⅔ of the time) it didn’t feel right. it would feel colder in the apartment, even if the heater was turned up. just...empty. sometimes you wished his socks or hoodies were left lying around the apartment for you to pick up and bicker with him about. rather, he cleaned every spot, no laundry to pick up, no spills to wipe, nothing. leaving no signs that he lived here at all. 

“nap for a little bit and then we’ll go?” jungkook asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nod, telling him to wake you up when it was time to go. 

you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you awake. your eyes open to see jungkook in front of you, pink sweater and black hair, contrasting perfectly in the sun that’s shining through your window. “let’s go now,” he says. 

you nod, getting up from your bed and stretching as you walk over to your closet, grabbing a sweater to wear. jungkook offers to drive, you sit in the passenger seat, mind focused on what you had to buy for the house. you make it to the store and grab a cart, jungkook following behind you, “do you need anything?” you ask. 

“some shampoo and conditioner,” he answers. you nod, moving to the bath section and waiting as jungkook chooses his items. the rest of the trip consists of you and jungkook asking each other if you needed said thing for the apartment. “we have to get more blankets,” he declares as you pass the home goods section, grabbing a fluffy blanket.

you scold him, “we have too many blankets, put it back.” he presses his lips into a tight line, showing his dissatisfaction. you both continue to walk around a little longer, moving to the food section. “see, this is what we need!” you pull out the cookie dough tub. 

“dough?” he snorts, taking a look at the bucket as you hold it. 

“it’s ready to eat cookie dough! no salmonella for us!” you smile, dropping it into your cart. jungkook doesn’t say anything after that, you knew he wanted the cookie dough too, you were just taking one for the team. 

walking a little further into the food section, jungkook taps your shoulder, pointing to the other side of the freezers. “ice cream?” 

“oh, yeah,” you nod, pushing the cart that way. you pull the vanilla ice cream out and place it in the cart, jungkook furrows his eyebrows. 

“vanilla? out of all the flavors here? really?” he stares at you, a serious look on his face. you can’t help but start laughing, his face breaks, a small smile appearing on his face but he tries to get back to a serious expression. 

“it’s good! and you can eat it with the cookie dough,” you reason. jungkook rolls his eyes, you always seem to find a way to stump him, he can never argue with you for too long, you’re just too good of a talker. he takes out a mint chocolate tub from the freezer. you don’t say anything but your face scrunches, visibly disapproving.

“don’t start, i will argue for mint chocolate until the store closes.” he warns. you decide to stay quiet, a smile cemented on your face as you make it to check out. the rest of the trip goes smoothly from there, picking up some food on the way home and then making it back to the apartment. 

the two of you decide to do some things on your own when you got home. jungkook had to clean his room and do some laundry while you had to finish your homework. a period of comfortable silence fills the apartment, unlike the cold silence that you were terribly used to. you couldn’t have felt any more content than how you feel now. 

a few hours pass before jungkook finishes his chores, you were finished with your work and were now scheduling your next week. he peeks his head into your room, coughing to get your attention. your head turns at the sound, “movie?” he suggests. 

you smile, standing from your desk. the two of you travel to the couch and plop down on the seats, your hand reaching out to the coffee table for the remote. “which one?” you ask, turning the tv on and clicking random buttons that bring you to netflix. 

“that blue one, with the blonde.” he points as you scroll through the selections. 

“mamma mia?” you snort. 

“looks interesting,” he shrugs. unfolding the blanket and splaying it over the both of you. the first fifteen minutes of the movie plays before both you and jungkook start getting hungry. a rock, paper, scissors game ensues to figure out who’s gonna get up to get the snacks. you lose, 2 to 1. 

you grumble, pulling the warm blanket off of you and moving to the kitchen. taking a bag of chips out, some candy that you had in the pantry, and then the tub of ready to eat cookie dough out of the fridge. the weight of it proving you to be one of the weakest human beings. the tub practically slams onto the counter. the lid once again proving that your strength was not that of thor’s. “jungkook!” you shout from the kitchen. 

“what?” he yells back. 

you try once more to pry the lid open, but to no avail. so you shout once again, “help me open the cookie dough!” 

you hear jungkook groan, but nevertheless he comes into the kitchen, his face silently asking what you need him to do. you show him that the lid is basically stuck and he takes it from you, trying to take the top off but he seems to struggle as well. “here, you hold and i pull,” he suggests, holding onto the lid as you hold onto the bucket part. something told you this wasn’t going to work, maybe you should have left it out to thaw first before you tried to open it. 

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would look ridiculous, but the cookie dough gives after a minute or so of pulling. the effort makes both you and jungkook stumble onto the kitchen floor. both of your laughs overlapping each other. you hold the cookie dough, “let’s stay here first, i’m tired.” your breathing is exaggerated to add effect. 

he grins, moving to grab two spoons before sitting down next to you, against the cabinets on the floor. he sticks the two spoons into the cookie dough, the two of you start digging in. “you know what would be perfect with this right now?” jungkook sits up, standing again and moving to the freezer. you raise an eyebrow, wondering what he’s got in mind. “your vanilla ice cream,” he pulls the tub out. 

“and to think you were making fun of me in the store for it,” you narrow your eyes, taking the ice cream from him. jungkook stands above you, smiling at the way you remain on the ground instead of going back to the couch in the living room. nevertheless, he joins you with his spoon in hand. 

he watches as you scoop from the container, over exaggerating a shiver when you put it in your mouth. “cold?” he asks, but you shake your head. he looks over to your arm, your goosebumps raising. “liar,” he snorts, taking off his hoodie and handing it to you. 

you give him a puzzled look, “i can just get my own—” 

“just take it,” he cuts you off, throwing the jacket into your arms. secretly, you smile to yourself, throwing the hoodie over your head and sliding it on. it smells just like him, an overbearing scent that you’ve found comforting these days. a sudden warmth rushes over you. 

the sound of the tv is in the background of your conversation, but you only pay attention to jungkook, the man who’s digging into your vanilla ice cream and feeding it to you. “you like feeding your roommates or something?” you mumble as you eat the cold cream. 

he shakes his head, a smile on his face. “you’re the first roommate i’ve had.” 

you raise your eyebrows, “like ever?” he nods. “makes sense, you don’t know proper roommate etiquette, because you’re never here,” you snort. it was a joke, but it was true. you were projecting your upset through the statement. he is never here, and you just wanted to know why. did he not like being around you? is he just using this place to shower and store his things? was that it? 

jungkook doesn’t reply to your remark. completely disregarding it when he speaks again, “yeah, i’ve lived on my own before i moved in here, i moved around a lot.” 

“why?” you ask. jungkook never answered ‘why’ questions. always said that it was never your business, that you were always so nosy. 

but this time he sighs, “not really sure.” his spoon stabbing into the cookie dough, scraping the sides for the softer dough. “never really had a reason to stay.” 

that was the most you’ve ever heard from him. no matter how much you wanted to ask why he stayed here, why he stayed with you. you knew that maybe it was pushing a little too far. one question at a time, baby steps, you tell yourself. 

but you couldn’t help but think— wish that you could be a reason to make him stay. 

“must be tiring,” you comment, taking a scoop of dough for yourself. he doesn’t reply after that, instead just smearing some of the dough on your cheek and nose. a gasp leaves your throat, wiping the stickiness from your face and transferring it to his. “you’re gonna give me acne,” you groan. 

“oh relax, i’ll help you wash it off.” he smiles as he stands up, holding his hand out for you to take. he sets the ice cream on the counter, you copy with the cookie dough. both of you travelling to the sink to wash your hands and your faces. jungkook dries his face off and stands by, watching as you splash water on your face. you miss a spot on your cheek, which he helps you wipe off. his thumb coming up and swiping against the dough. his hand is warm, if it were there any longer, you would have leaned into his touch. 

after you both dried your faces off, you both agreed that you’ve consumed enough cookie dough and ice cream for the night. after returning them to the fridge, you make your way back to the couch. the movie almost over, nearing the ending scenes when you sit down. jungkook chooses another movie, legally blonde. “lots of blonde today, thinking of bleaching your hair?” you joke, throwing a blanket on the both of you. 

“you read my mind.” he gasps sarcastically. 

another comfortable silence falls in between you both, the sound of elle woods speaking replaces your conversation with each other. you turn and watch as jungkook’s focus remains solely on the tv. you lean back into the couch, smiling to yourself. there was a bittersweet feeling to this moment. you were happy that jungkook was here, but something felt off. you felt yourself getting lonely. you feel this way every time jungkook is about to leave, it’s like you have a warning signal. like that one time last year where jungkook left for two months, december and january, the two most festive months of the year. you were out buying christmas decorations when you felt something inside of you grow cold. it’s when you got in your car that you saw his text. 

[7:58 pm] jungkook: *jeon jungkook has sent you $1,000* 

[7:58 pm] jungkook: ^^ for rent

[8:21 pm] you: leaving again? 

[8:23 pm] jungkook: yeah

[8:24 pm] you: when r u coming back 

[8:24 pm] you: i just bought christmas decor :( 

[8:25 pm] jungkook: :( sorry 

[8:26 pm] jungkook: also not sure

[8:26 pm] jungkook: i’ll be back to see them though! promise. i’ll help you take them down too 

with that, you went home and decorated the apartment with a christmas tree, a snowman, and stockings with yours and jungkook’s initials hanging below the tv on the wall. waiting patiently all december and the first two weeks of january to see if jungkook would ever come back to see how cute you made the apartment. 

he never did. 

rather, he came back the end of january, when all the festivities were done and the decorations were down. 

“where are the decorations?” he asks, shrugging off his jacket and walking into the kitchen. 

you rolled your eyes, picking up your mug of hot tea. “took them down myself, didn’t think you were coming back.” after that you moved into your room, watching tv and sulking to yourself. sure, you were upset but you shouldn’t have expected anything more from him. it’s become one of the only personality traits that you see in him: ghosting you and coming back like nothing happened. plus, it’s not like he owed you an explanation. you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past. 

you close your eyes and shake off the memory. breaking the silence when you speak, “you’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” 

his gaze moves away from the tv. his eyes meeting yours, “why do you say that?” 

you break eye contact before you shrug, “i can always feel it.” 

he doesn’t say anything after, letting you wallow in the feeling washing over you once again. jungkook was leaving again and he knew you knew. there was nothing he could say, because what did you want to hear? that he’ll stay? maybe it was because it’s only been a day, and he’s already leaving. the whole thing makes your head ache. the both of you continue to watch the movie until the end, the clock striking four in the morning. jungkook turns the tv off when you yawn. 

“tired?” he asks. you nod, standing from the couch and turning off the lights. he follows suit, stretching and trailing you down the hall. you walk into your room and lay on your bed, jungkook stays at your door, turning your light off before softly saying, “goodnight.” and then closing your door. 

sometime in the morning, around seven or eight, you feel your bed dip beside you. it’s jungkook, you can tell by the smell of his body wash. a strong fruit smell that always feels like it burns your nose. you’re barely awake, your head still lightly aching. your droopy eyelids beckon you to sleep. jungkook doesn’t say anything, instead just sitting there. 

in his head he’s saying something, apologizing to you for all the times he left you alone in this big apartment. you must have felt so alone, probably scared too. he’s too much of a coward to say it out loud. so for now, in his head, he repeats the apologies over and over again. 

“sweet dreams,” jungkook says. rising from your bed. you can feel it, the comforting weight next to you as you fall back asleep disappears. 

you blame your drowsiness for the way you reach out for his arm, gently holding his hand. he stutters in his step, looking back to you and your connected hands. “don’t go,” you mumble, eyes still closed. 

and for once. jungkook hesitates. for a split second, he wonders how it’ll feel to stay with you. 

but he doesn’t know. and he’ll never know. because in the next minute, he’s slipping his hand away from yours and grabbing his bag. walking out the door. again. 

in the morning you wake to an empty apartment. jungkook’s door is closed and it’s just you again. your feet pad against the cold floor into the kitchen, a paper on the island catching your attention. 

jungkook’s handwriting is specific, you could tell the marks apart from someone else’s. a smile spreads across your face when you read the note. terribly, your heart pounds and your cheeks flush. 

be back in two weeks. 

was supposed to be gone the entire month, but i wanted to stop by and see you. 

sorry i only stayed for a day. 

didn’t say it yesterday, but happy valentine’s day. there’s something in the fridge for you. 

take care. 

Xx, J. 

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook Drabble #jeon jungkook Drabble #jeongguk fic #jeongguk fanfic #jeon jeongguk fanfic #jeon jeongguk fic #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook angst #jeongguk angst #angst #bts #bts fic #bts fanfic #bangtan soyeondan #bangtan #bangtan fic #jjk #jjk fic #jjk fanfic #fanfic #fic #fluff #jeon jeongguk #jeongguk #roommate!au #mine

[scripturiends]

law school episode 9 musings

warning: very very long post ahead. i have a lot of thoughts.

hey folks — how we feeling about episode 9?

given that there are so many plotlines in the show, i’m afraid i won’t be able to extend my analysis of the episode as far as i would like, but there are three characters who stood out to me the most last night that i’d like to talk about for now:

kang dan

there’s a lot that we got to uncover about her thanks to professor yang’s trial. if i’m piecing it all together right, the basic summary of what led to her disappearance goes like this:

she was a volunteer for assemblyman ko’s campaign, but upon discovering that he was spreading fake news about his opposition, dan reported him to the authorities (i’m guessing not just the police but also the media) and became a whistleblower. assemblyman ko tried to buy her off with money, but she refused, so he attacked her where she’s most vulnerable instead — by using her family.

i’m not completely sure about this (please feel free to correct me!) but it’s either byeol is (1) the twins’ half-sister, or (2) their stepsister? it’s so hard to tell, especially since korean terms can get lost in translation in the process (i watch on netflix, if that helps). but anyway, sol and dan’s mom married someone who was abusing her, and in exchange for dan’s silence (and her fleeing), the husband signs a contract that he would stop hurting his wife.

so that’s the backbone of dan’s story. however, this still doesn’t answer a lot of things, like where seo byungju or lee manho fits into the equation, the whereabouts of their mom’s ex-husband, or why dan was sent into boston in the first place.

i usually don’t like theorizing, but i do have one: there is an ivy league school located just outside of boston — harvard. (it’s technically in cambridge but you know, i’m taking liberties here.) professor yang said in passing one episode that he thought he saw dan when he went to the school for a seminar or a talk or something. could it be that assemblyman ko offered her an education at a top school in exchange for her silence? it could explain why she gave it up all so easily. what if she took that topnotch education as a chance to prepare, so that when she came back, she had much stronger leverage to take assemblyman ko down, given the knowledge and network of connections she’ll have earned in that school?

the theory’s plausible but i might be overestimating assemblyman ko’s kindness — unless he’s insanely desperate, he might not give a damn about dan’s education. it actually benefits him more if she stayed uninformed, but still. let me know what you think about it.

yoo seungjae

in this episode, we learned a little bit more about how yoo seungjae was able to hack into the professors’ laptops, and they also confirmed some of our previous speculations about him: that his wife yujeong was an ob gyn, and so was he, and that they were trying for a baby. unfortunately, i find it all to be a bit lacking in substance. i was hoping we could get down to the nitty-gritty of why he did what he did.

i say this for one important reason: i don’t know about you guys, but i would never make such a stupid mistake in undergrad, let alone in law school. seungjae has gone to med school, so we know that he knows the repercussions of his actions. why would he go to such lengths? sure, he found an opening, he was tempted, and he took it. but he didn’t just do it once, he did it multiple times, and those offenses add up (hacking, stealing exam papers, and cheating). surely he must know that something like this can ruin careers even before they even start, and not only would he get kicked out of the school, he would also get blacklisted from the industry once he implicates himself. so we understand why he’s so hesitant to testify (especially now that his wife is pregnant).

but why did he do that in the first place? we could say he’s insecure about his skills, but he’s survived med school. how much harder could law school be for him? i just don’t think that the payoff is worth the risk. what must be so important for yoo seungjae to do all of this for? what does he get in return if he successfully pulls it off and gets straight As during his entire time in law school? who is he doing for?

i hope it runs deeper than just wanting a ‘good future’ for him and his wife and their baby or something — because he could just as easily do that as a doctor. there must be another reason he went into law.

still, though, and this is just a personal opinion, even if i did find out his entire backstory, there’s no way i could ever defend him. we see in the show how his guilt builds up (from observing how kang sol A studies so well, to his conversation with jeon yeseul in the hospital), but at this point there is no more excusing what he did. not that i ever condoned it in the first place.

we’re still in the dark about a lot of things regarding yoo seungjae. hopefully by the next episode, we get something. but until then, he is still a shady, shady man to me.

kang sol B

her screen time in this episode was short, but i still wanted to highlight her because she is pretty much a ticking time bomb.

she’s in a tight spot right now because even if she testifies about having seen the sugar packet, the prosecutor will just twist the argument by saying she colluded with a murderer just to cover up her plagiarism.

and now, seo jiho needs her help, probably for something related to his case with prosecutor jin. in exchange, she puts pressure on him to ‘confirm’ that she didn’t plagiarize in middle school, since they were schoolmates and rivals.

there may be more to this plagiarism issue than meets the eye. who knows, we might find out later on that she actually didn’t plagiarize? but given what i know now, i have no reason to believe that she didn’t. i don’t blame her specifically for that, seeing as she has to pay for the consequences for something that her awful mom forced her to do. but now that the mess has been made, i want to see how she cleans it up.

kang sol B is a very elusive character to me. the scary thing about her is that she’s on no one’s side but her own. and that’s why i think she’s a ticking time bomb.

~

bonus: han joonhwi

so that’s all i have for the serious stuff. as a bonus, i’d like to talk about han joonhwi and his four (4) children jeon yeseul, seo jiho, kang byeol, and min bokgi.

one of my friends brought up how it’s so funny how he’s somehow just at the right place at the right time all the time. this happened when he ran into kang sol A when she was looking for yeseul (i still think they were on the phone with each other beforehand but this is just my shipper self talking — truthfully, if the focus was shifted towards that phone call without divulging who it was, i have a feeling it might be more important later on), and when seo jiho confronted prosecutor jin. adding his elevator conversation with kang sol B, i think it just solidified what we already know: han joonhwi is a very compassionate person. but he doesn’t sacrifice his own personality just to appease them — he recognizes that these individuals have agency, and he’s just giving them the little push they need to make them realize what they need to do.

i also felt the need to bring up kang byeol. the show does such a good job of ensuring that all the solhwi scenes that we get, no matter how indulgent and “fanservice-y” they might seem, actually have a deeper purpose. again, i could go on and on about what each solhwi scene has actually contributed to the development of the plot, which is exactly why i love them so much! because all of their scenes are so meaningful. but anyway, it’s nice to see han joonhwi care so much for his, ehem, future sister-in-law.

and for min bokgi — this scene was so short, but i absolutely loved it so much (i tend to pay attention to the throwaway scenes): min bokgi is going off about how yoo seungjae is acting weird, and he says to joonhwi, “hyung, you should call him.” and joonhwi responds with, “sure. eat your food.” it’s such a fatherly thing to do and it’s such a great contrast to bokgi’s dynamic with sol A, with whom he’s so loud and vibrant, moods that both match their personalities, but with joonhwi, who is more subdued, he’s like a little kid in need of rescue from an older brother, or even a dad. ah, i love it so much. min bokgi is such an underrated character. i wish he had more screen time. (if he doesn’t get a central ep, well, you guys know where i’m going with this, right? it means i’ll give it to him myself.)

~

so that’s it for now! i’m sorry i went on rambling again, but if there’s anything noteworthy in this post that you think is worth discussing, please do tell! if there’s anything that you found thought-provoking in the episode that i didn’t get to touch up on, let me know as well!

i personally don’t make any theories about the overarching plot myself, seeing as by the time the new episode comes out, we get fed information that renders the theory useless. still, that doesn’t mean we should stop coming up with our own ideas. sometimes, the theories are more interesting than the canon itself.

#jtbc law school #law school #kang sol a #kang dan #ryu hye young #han joon hwi #kim bum #kang sol b #lee soo kyung #jeon ye seul #go youn jung #yoo seung jae #min bok gi #solhwi #kang sol a x han joon hwi #hyun woo #lee david #seo jiho #lee kang ji #mine