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serendipitous-seven · 2 months

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i can't wait to tell you, "i told ya'." | jungkook x f!reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook is a successful realtor with a big house, a nice car, colorful dating life, and a spunky 7-year-old daughter to boot…he’s also your best friend who you used to be in love with. Of course, he was never made aware because you swear it’s all in the past…until it isn’t. But going on a cruise with Jungkook and his daughter whom you adore should be harmless. Absolutely nothing can go wrong…Right?

pairing: jeon jungkook x f!reader genre: fluff, angst, crack, idiots [i say that with luv for my characters] word count: 17.2k tags/warnings: a child [Mai] is present throughout the entire story, implication of absent birth mother, serial dater JK, so much pining, pg language, conversation about sleeping around/risking pregnancy, legal-aged drinking & getting drunk, hurtful words/heated argument, isolation, blurb about reader struggling to eat, Mai experiences anxiety [I promise she is okay], plethora of cheesy occurrences, much fluff & angst all because sowoozoo-muster-JK wrecked me

series mlist

this is a repost from my old blog, moon-write.

Thank you to the realest one, @hyungieyoongi, for not only wanting to beta-read this insanity for me when I initially enlisted her for help, but also for hyping me up while doing it. Her editing gave this story clarity ;;

disclaimer: the portrayal of Jungkook in this story is purely fictional & does not reflect who he is in real life nor do I claim to believe it does. lastly, this story is not a part of my dad!bts series, a serendipitous life - singledad!jungkook is in its own universe.

a/n: GUYS. this story was purely created because I was under the influence of sowoozoo/muster JK back in 2021. I am so beyond excited to bring this back and share this cracked out fic again, I truly hope you all enjoy it and just have fun reading it.

“Mai, don’t be so dramatic,” you take the little girl’s hands into yours, dusting off the chalk from her palms, “look-see, it comes off!”

She beams up at you with a know-it-all smile before taking yellow chalk from the bucket and continuing her doodle on the concrete. You watch her as she makes a big circle, stopping to make sure it’s just right before looking at you once more.

“Can you make the lines?” She inquires with big eyes, you run your hand through her long hair and happily oblige; Mai stands and watches you, pressing her hand onto your shoulder; “daddy will like it!”

You chuckle, nodding, “your dad will love it.”

She kneels, taking blue chalk this time to draw clouds, a mixture of pastel colors in the shape of her handprint now adorning the sleeve of your shirt.

Adding butterflies to the chalk creation per Mai’s request, you hear the back gate open, and following is the sound of Mai’s jovial squeals. Quick to abandon the chalk, she runs into the doting arms of her father, Jungkook. Uncaring to her chalky hands, Jungkook sweeps Mai into a hug with no intention of letting go.

“Kiss,” he mutters to her as you walk over, dusting your hands off on your jeans. Mai presses her smaller palms onto his cheeks, squishing them in the process of giving him a quick peck.

“Oops,” she giggles, noticing the chalk she’s left on his cheeks.

“We made you a drawing,” Mai soon forgets, wiggling to move Jungkook forward. He smiles at you, following his daughter’s direction to the drawing. Mai, her eyes an exact mirror of her father’s, watches him as he takes it all in.

Jungkook marvels at his little girl’s work; “thank you, babe,” he says, kissing Mai’s cheek who nods with pride, bunny teeth sticking out. She looks over at you, singing your praises for bringing the bucket of chalk as a surprise.

“I told you I’d bring a surprise if you got A’s and B’s, right?” You smile, winking at Mai.

Jungkook thanks you before telling Mai to run inside and wash up for dinner. You follow him to the patio table and take a seat, noting the exhaustion of another long day falling over him. He runs his hand over his face, closing his eyes for a moment before remembering his best friend is still there.

You offer him a pitiful smile, drawing him to roll his eyes and laugh, “what?”

You shake your head, “nothing.”

He straightens his gaze but even then, a hint of his sweet smile remains noticeable, “it’s never nothing.”

“But it really is this time. Besides,” you laugh, “am I never not worried about you and Mai?”

He just nods.

“You’re doing a great job Jungkook,” you pat his tattooed arm, “you are the light of her life.”

Jungkook looks back at the chalk drawing Mai doodled on the concrete, giggling to himself. Caught in his stupor and the innocence of his daughter, he comes to, looking at you; “these last seven years would have gone a lot differently if we didn’t have you though.”

-Seven years ago-

“It’s okay,” you try to soothe a newborn Mai but her shrill cries drown out your voice. You burn a trail around the living room as you pace, stealing glances at Jungkook who’s sat at the edge of his sofa. With clumps of his hair gathered between fisted palms, he’s never looked so defeated.

“Let’s try feeding her again,” you stand in front of him, hand reaching for the bottle next to him. Too caught in the frantic cry of his baby, he doesn’t hear you.

“Jungkook,” your tone is stern and you nudge his foot with yours, “come on, you can’t give up now, get it together.” A moment of hurt sweeps over his eyes when he looks up at you, but keeping your feet on firm ground, you push away the guilt that rushes you.

You clear your throat, “her bottle Jungkook, please.”

He does as you say, his eyes wide as he looks at his daughter for the first time since you arrived. You press the rubber tip to Mai’s lips, allowing a drop of the warm formula to touch her lips, “I promise you’ll love it, Mai.” You try to joke though there is a hint of begging in your tone.

Her cry breaks for a moment as the milk drips onto her tongue; “there you go,” laughter coats the nervous tremble in your voice this time.

You allow a couple more drops to fall onto her tongue until Mai’s cries ease into small whimpers. Her breathing staggers as she takes to the bottle, “see?” You can’t help but giggle. Looking at Jungkook, his eyes brimming with tears of frustration, he watches in shock while Mai drinks from the bottle as small puffs of air escape her nose.

“Use the rag on my shoulder to wipe her face, will you?” You ask him and he does just so, dabbing at Mai’s red cheeks, ridding her of her tears.

“I tried everything the last hour to get her to stop,” he whispers. You can see the disappointment in his eyes though he continues to marvel at the innocence wrapped in your arms. You watch as your best friend takes Mai’s foot in his hand, thoughtfully squeezing her toes before he moves his hand back to her head, rubbing her barely-there hair as far back as he can.

“Here,” you gesture for Jungkook to take his daughter and he steps back in fright. You chuckle, “you have to get used to holding her Kook, I won’t be here all the time.”

“Why?” He looks at you with all sincerity.

You shake your head, “she’ll be safe with you.”

He places the rag over his shoulder this time and holds his arms out. Mai fusses during the exchange and Jungkook shushes her in a gentle prive as he holds her against his chest; “just hold the bottle upright - yeah,” you say as you help to adjust her in his arms.

He cradles his large hand behind her head while her tiny body rests along his arm. He stands straight as a pin, fear taking up most of his expression as he looks down on his feeding daughter.

“Is this the first time you’re holding her?” You ask.

He gives you a look that can only mean yes, “my mom has been staying with us, she left right before you came,” he shakes his head, embarrassed to admit, “I was too scared.”

A soft laugh escapes you, “well, how’s it feel now?”

“Still scary,” he says seriously, “but I never want to put her down again.”

You stand back, watching him take all of her in. A month ago your best friend had his life made - living a bachelor lifestyle his friends envied, had a stellar career as the most sought realtor, owner of a newly built home. He was a free man who could do whatever, whenever.

That was until one drunken decision in the past came back nine months later in the form of a newborn baby.

Swaying back and forth with a slight strain in his movement, Jungkook watches Mai’s drooping lids; “can I do this?” He asks in a dream-like state leaving you to wonder if he really wanted an answer. That is until he moves his eyes to look at you.

You shrug with a pitied smile, “you love her, right?”

He frowns for a second, nodding without hesitation.

“Then you can do it, Jungkook.”

“I’d offer for you to stay for dinner but you probably have another date with what’s-his-name,” Jungkook closes the sliding glass door behind you two, sweeping Mai into his arms. The three of you make your way into the kitchen where he sets his daughter on the counter, inspecting her hands to make sure she’s cleaned them properly.

He playfully sniffs them before kissing her palms.

“For the thousandth time, his name is Mark, and no actually,” you laugh watching the two tease each other back and forth, Jungkook’s attention split between the two of you, “I don’t think that’s happening anymore.”

He stands upright, covering Mai’s ears which only sends her into a fit to hear the adult talk, too grown for her age. She fights to move her dad’s hands but to no avail.

“Bad kisser? I knew it,” he shakes his head while moving Mai’s from side to side. Belly laughs erupt from her small body as she begs for her dad to stop.

“Shut up,” you laugh, rolling your eyes. He chuckles, removing his hands from Mai and kissing her forehead.

You sit at the end of the long dining table next to Mai, Jungkook at the head of the table as usual. He finishes reading Mai’s fortune before they look at you.

“Your turn!” Mai shouts, holding a single noodle between her trainer chopsticks.

The cookie crumbles between your fingers as you unroll the small strip of paper, clearing your throat; “an old love will come back to you.”

Jungkook dramatically ooh’s and Mai follows, her small lips shaped into a perfect circle. Victim to Mai’s purity you squeeze her nose, “who could that be?” You tease her.

“Not me,” she giggles, “maybe daddy, he’s old!”

You fall back into your chair, eyes brimming with tears as you hold onto your belly full of Chinese food, laughing at the expense of your best friend.

“Funny,” he tries not to laugh, stuffing the remains of his fortune cookie into his mouth.

Chirping crickets and a black sky surround Jungkook’s home. You listen to the sound echo up into the vaulted ceilings, looking out of the opened windows. Taken by the quiet that surrounds his place, you shut your eyes and bask in it until the sound of Jungkook’s feet shuffles down the hallway.

“I don’t know whose good side I am on,” he sighs with relief, grabbing his glass of wine on the way to the sofa, “but she falls asleep like that.” He snaps his fingers.

You smile, peeling your attention away from the window.

Now dressed in baggy clothes that swallow up his svelte build, Jungkook takes a generous sip from his glass before patting the space next to him, “so, what’s wrong with this guy?”

You stop on your way to the sofa, eyebrows raised with sarcasm, “let’s cut the attitude, yeah?”

He can’t help but laugh, moving his leg when you finally sit down, “joking,” he reassures you, “but I mean, this is the third guy you’ve rejected and I didn’t even get to meet him.”

You shrug, “like you really wanted to?” Quirking an eyebrow at him, Jungkook can’t seem to look at you, laughing into his wine glass; “who’s worse here? You’ve always had at least one thing to complain about every guy I’ve brought around.”

“The bean and I have a preliminary process when it comes to guys you date,” he shrugs, licking a stray drop of wine before it can drip onto his sweatpants.

“Yes because a seven year old has a lot to say about adults and dating,” you chuckle, pushing Jungkook’s shoulder, “anyway, you aren’t missing out on anything Kook - and besides, I don’t want to introduce people into your guys’ life until I’m sure about them this time.”

Jungkook’s playfulness dies off, the wine in his glass not as interesting as the sullen look forming on your face. He watches you, the way you bend forward, one side of your hair tucked behind your ear while you anxiously pick at your cuticles.

He nudges your knee with his so you can look at him, a reassuring smile awaiting you, “that last guy fooled us all, okay?”

You sigh as a way to say, ‘it’s forgotten…no big deal…whatever…’ but Jungkook knows it’s a stain you’ve struggled to rid of for a while; “he’s been out of my life for a long time and that’s all that matters,” you stiffen your upper lip.

“Mm, cheers to that,” he clicks his glass against your water bottle, “but seriously, can I ask you something?”

You brace yourself, nodding.

“Except for that trash bag, you always seem to find a flaw in every guy you date,” Jungkook stalls for a second, reading your temperament before continuing, “why?”

Your eyes crinkle, suddenly underneath a spotlight, “do I?”

Jungkook resorts to his scrunch-nosed laugh, “are you kidding?”

“Well, okay Mr. Dating-expert,” you cross one leg over the other taking on a new defense, “you don’t find enough flaws in the women lined up outside of your house every day - why?”

He nearly spat out his wine, setting the glass down with hands surrendered to the air, “false accusation, you know I don’t bring women back here because of Mai-”

“Okay okay, you’re right, I’m sorry,” you sit back.

He laughs, “but fair enough, I guess we both don’t have the best track record when it comes to dating.”

You stand up, pulling your bag over your shoulder, “I hate to agree since it concerns me too.”

Jungkook walks you to the front door, “I’m curious to find out who this ‘old love’ is,” you turn just as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You force a smile with squinted eyes, “do you know me at all, Jeon? I don’t believe in fortunes, remember?”

He gives you a quick hug, watching you walk the path to your car; “I can’t wait to prove you wrong,” he says from the door.

You wave him off, “yeah-yeah save the love spiel for another time, goodnight!”

On your drive home, absent in mind, you rake your fingers through your hair. The bright glow of the red traffic light casts over you when you come to a full stop. ‘An old love will come back to you.’ You snort at the thought; they are simply typed words on a piece of paper. It means nothing.

“You don’t believe in stupid fortunes,’” you sing into the void of your car.

But it still makes your stomach queasy. Heart palpitating in your chest while your palm becomes sweaty as you ring it around the steering wheel.

“Let’s not go back there…”

“Hello? What do you mean no big deal?” Nic’s voice is a clear call into the late night, earning herself a stern look from you. “Whisper please,” you hiss through your teeth, “Mai never sleeps well when Jungkook is away, it was hell getting her down tonight.”

Nic looks at you with wily eyes, spinning every which way you turn before she gets dizzy; “oh my god, stop for sec!”

In a huff to clean up Mai’s after-dinner doodle session - crayons strewn across the table and several drawings she made as gifts for her dad’s return from a work trip, you look at your friend with exasperation painted on your face, “it’s literally what I mean Nic.”

She blinks in rapid-fire, sitting down on the ottoman while you work around the dining room. “So I’m crazy, okay yeah. Because telling me that you’re in love with your best friend of a million years is totally normal.”

You shudder at how easily those words come out of Nic’s mouth while Jungkook’s daughter sleeps in your bed. Too young to understand anyway, you can’t help but want to protect Mai from this very sensitive information about her dad.

Nic rolls her eyes, “oh relax, she’s asleep now. I’m spiraling over here, okay?”

“Just, come on,” you hit the side of your leg with the cleaning rag, desperate to get your point across, “discretion, please? This is not information I want to be tossed around.”

“How long have you felt this way?” She watches you in your haste, cleaning every speck left on the table in an attempt to avoid the conversation. You’re steeped in regret for even mentioning it to Nic. It was a confession locked in the depths of Pandora's box.

It just came out.

“I don’t know,” you groan, disappearing into the kitchen before returning with washed hands and deadpan eyes.

Nic twists around the ottoman to face you when you come around, plopping yourself on the sofa.

“That’s a lie,” she states the obvious.

The popcorn texture of your ceiling suddenly becomes interesting when you toss your head back. I need to get my ceilings smoothed. You think to yourself while Nic waits. She won’t back down.

“I remember the exact moment I fell in love with him,” you sigh, tossing your hands up only to bring them back down on the cushions. You sit upright and look at Nic, “but it’s futile to even detail that because it’s never going to happen.”

“Do you want it to? I mean really want it to? Because he has a kid…”

Eyebrows knit together, you both have to laugh at that.

“I mean, you know, getting with Jungkook means taking on a child - although worthy to mention, a kid who absolutely adores you-”

“Please, don’t make me hurt more,” you press the pads of your fingers over your shut eyes, “I can’t even fathom how much it would confuse her - and I won’t entertain this past today. I can’t.”

“You’ve obviously been holding onto this for a long time-”

“And it ends today. Jungkook is my best friend, I vowed to be here for him and Mai as his friend, that’s it.”

“Okay, and when he finds a suitable woman and falls in love with her, then what?”

You can’t help the sadness that overwhelms your entire chest, eyes piercing through Nic, “ouch.”

“I’m sorry,” she takes on a new look of pity, leaning forward, “but that’s the reality, isn’t it? If you aren’t willing to-”

“Willing to what Nic? Confess to Jungkook and ruin our friendship? Ruin my relationship with Mai?” You retort, smiling because this is just too ridiculous to even consider.

“How can you assume he doesn’t feel the same?” Nic rebuttals.

You shake your head, “it’s not happening.”

That was 2 years ago. A night you remember all too clearly but push away along with the feelings steaming inside of you - chewed up and swallowed only to return from time to time like a bad case of acid reflux.

You scoff at the fortune bouncing around in your head, “not happening.”

“What are we shopping for exactly?” Nic comes up next to you, raking through the neutral-toned tops with not much of a care about what she is seeing.

“Um,” you pick out two tank tops and hold them up against you waiting for her approval, “that cruise I’m going on next month - didn’t we talk about it?”

“Oh yeah, wait-who are you going with and why was I not invited?” She queries, noting the way you move swiftly toward the dressing rooms.

You chuckle, “I didn’t plan this trip, I was invited,” you shut the door to the changing room before Nic can follow you in. She leans against it, quirking an eyebrow, “cheeky,” she laughs, “who invited you?”

She listens to you mull over your choices, hearing your feet shuffle on the carpeted floor; “uh, Jungkook did.”

You are immediately met with silence, peeking at the bottom of the mirror where Nic’s feet reflect as she turns to face the door. “Come again? You failed to mention this romantic getaway would be with your best friend-”

Opening the door, Nic nearly falls in when you catch her. You roll your eyes; “have you always been this dramatic?”

She shrugs, “one of us has to be-back to my question.”

“Not a romantic getaway, Mai is coming and-”

“Wh-like a family vacation-”

“Nic!” Your jaw sets and she shuts it quickly, “his parents are also going, okay?”

Your friend blinks in disbelief and you give her a look that wills away any sarcastic comment she has at the ready.

You have to hand it to her, she’s a witty one; “besides it’s kind of a company cruise for him, all the employees are allowed to bring guests, okay?”

“Noted,” she purses her lips.

The silence between purchasing your items and the walk to the car is thick with Nic’s wandering mind.

“Can you just answer one thing for me?” You’re already sighing before she can ask her question once at the car. Tossing your bags in the back before getting into the driver’s seat with Nic buckled up and raring to go; “have you worked through all of that - you know, your feelings?”

You nod, “for the most part.” Nic drops her forehead into her hands, kneading away at her temples and you have to laugh, “okay, yes I have, is that better Nicola?”

“If you weren’t such a bad liar, yeah it would be!” Nic tentatively shoves your shoulder, laughing with you, “how do you manage it because I sure as hell could not.”

You relax for a moment coming to a red light, “Mai is number one here, how she feels matters first-”

“That is very noble of you, but hello, you’re human and your feelings matter too,” Nic adds with pointed inflect, “and I can’t believe I’m saying this but Jungkook should know better, inviting you to family functions like the three of you are a family before he runs off with some random-”

“Nic,” you send a wavering look her way, “I don’t mind watching Mai when I have the time, I love her-she’s like-” you startle yourself, “I just love her, alright? I don’t mind it.”

Nic shakes her head when you turn away, your eyes set back on the road. An uneasy feeling settles inside of her, wondering how you’d managed to lie into believing all of that; “Look, you know I care about you. I know he does too I just think he’s a little blind and I’m just worried it’s hurting you-”

“I’m fine,” you practically sing.

“Okay, so you are now but it will hurt you eventually if you keep pretending like this,” Nic flattens her tone.

“I said I am fine,” you say with emphasis, “anyway, it’s Sunday which means dinner at their house-” you look at her knowing she has a smirk waiting for you. You both look at each other on instinct, eyes squinted at one another, “so I am inviting you to come with, okay?”

You both laugh; “yeah whatever, I’ll join your weird not-family-tradition for tonight.”

Sunday dinner with the Jeons proceeds as usual given the extra guest. Nic prides herself on where she can observe the oddities of your friendship with Jungkook and his daughter. Even she, sworn to never birth children herself, can’t help the fluttering of her ovaries as she watches the camaraderie built between you and Jungkook’s daughter. Mai teasingly stiffens her upper lip, shoving her face near yours while a goofy voice bellows out of her. You roll your eyes at her, laughing before attacking her sides with tickling fingers.

It’s a smile on Jungkook’s face that Nic hasn’t seen before. Spending many a night out with the two of you and friends, she’s used to the suave Jungkook she’s seen at clubs. The way he talks to women, motions for them, how he sticks his tongue out just enough for flirtatious emphasis when he’s curled up with one. His ego is seen clearly across the dance floor; Nic is sure her face is turning green at the very thought of it.

“Alright kiddo,” Jungkook stretches, “it’s late-”

“Dad,” Mai whines, clinging on to you. You hide your laugh, noting the way she tries to fight her sleepiness in front of him.

He shakes his head, “it’s a school night Mai- bathroom - brush your teeth, now.”

You can’t help but feel sorry for her, catching her pitiful stare that has so fittingly fallen on you, you chuckle, “come on, I’ll tuck you in afterward.”

With that little bit of incentive, Mai jumps off the couch, quick to slouch when she passes by her dad, meekly waving goodbye to Nic before she disappears down the hallway; “be right back,” you call to them, following Mai’s very sad trail into the darkness.

Nic sighs, eyes quick to find Jungkook, “so-” her smile flattens when he finally looks at her.

“So?” He adds, his eyes slit in wonder. Nic has always been the wild card with a fiery tongue.

She widens her grin, “I hear you and your family are going on a cruise.”

He just nods, smiling into his glass before taking a drink, “she’s coming too.”

“I mean that was implied-” Nic snorts, “that’s sweet.”

Jungkook chuckles, catching the sarcastic look in Nic’s eyes, “what are you on about?”

“Jeon Jungkook you are clue-”

“She was falling asleep while brushing her teeth,” you come out with a hushed laugh, “practically had to carry her into bed.”

Jungkook tears his eyes away from Nic, both friends staring at you before they force a laugh. You shrug it off, grabbing your things along with Nic’s who meets you at the door. Jungkook follows, his hands shoved inside of his pockets.

“Thanks for letting me tag along,” Nic exaggerates her tone, accepting Jungkook’s hug before getting into the car.

You turn back to him with eyebrows raised and he shrugs.

“Okay, well I’m going to be pretty busy with work the next few weeks, they want overtime - god-”

Jungkook laughs while you struggle to get your arm in the sleeve of your jacket; “the sleeve is twisted-here,’ he says, pulling it out and holding it straight for you.

“Thanks.”

“I guess we’ll see you at the ship then,” he says, playfully pushing you toward your car.

You gently kick his ankle, “night, Jeon.”

He smiles at you, bending forward to wave at Nic who offers him a short smile; “text me when you get home.”

As always, you wave to him without a second look.

“Did dad receive the confirmation for your parking spot,” Jungkook asks while swinging his keys around his pointer finger, leaving a house he just showed, “it has the information on where you’ll park your car at the port.”

“He did and what about you, will you be doing the same?” Mrs. Jeon then asks about you, “how will she get there?”

He can’t help but giggle, his ever-curious mother always wondering about you, worrying that a small task may be a little too inconvenient for you, “you should pick her up really.”

Jungkook settles into his car, a playful eye roll following his mother’s assumptions, “already taken care of mom.”

“Good,” a sigh of relief can be heard on his end, “how is she anyway, we haven’t seen her since Mai’s little school performance.”

“Slow down, yeah?” Jungkook chuckles, “she’s busy too but good, I think anyway. She came over Sunday for dinner-”

“As usual,” Mrs. Jeon snickers to herself, “why don’t you bring her over here for dinner once in a while? I would like to see her too.”

“You really want that?” He arches an eyebrow.

Mrs. Jeon clicks her tongue, “yah, my son, you say that as if she hasn’t been an important part of my grandchild’s life. Of course, we want to see her but you say she’s always busy.”

“Oh,” he pouts, thinking it over, “well we have a whole week to catch up so you can make up for lost time then.”

“Mhm,” he could hear the smirk on his mom’s face, “she deserves a break Jungkook-ah, you know?”

Jungkook nods as if his mom could see him, “of course she does.”

“Between her work and then watching the baby, you keep her busy.”

Jungkook frowns, “yah mom, this is why Mai acts like a baby sometimes, she’s not a baby anymore, she’s turning eight-”

Mrs. Jeon clicks her tongue in protest again, “she’ll always be my grand-baby, and you - you’re forever my baby…”

He can’t help but smile this time, “yeah, I know. Anyway, you make it sound like I employ her or something, she comes in on her free time- whenever she pleases.”

“Ok ok,” his mother’s gentle laugh he can remember so clearly from childhood eases out of her, “I just worry she’ll think otherwise.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t mom,” Jungkook sighs.

“Anyway, that’s what dad and I will be there for, yeah? To spend time with Mai and give you two some free time to do whatever-”

“And some family time with all of us, but I appreciate it, I’m sure we can squeeze in a childless night.”

Mrs. Jeon chuckles before ending the call, but not before one more reminder about inviting you over to dinner sometime soon.

Jungkook laughs to himself as he pulls into his driveway. Like clockwork, Mai’s school bus arrives at the corner. He steps out and waves to the bus driver when they drive off before Mai comes running down the sidewalk and into his arms.

“Hey, dad!” She wraps her arms around his neck, kissing the cheek he purposefully puffed out for her.

“You’re getting big, bean,” he groans, faking a backache after setting her down. He rests his hand atop her head, hanging her backpack for her before they trail into the kitchen.

“Your muscles aren’t so strong anymore then,” Mai quips, tossing a quick shoulder shrug her dad’s way when he turns back from the refrigerator to glare at her.

“Smart-alec,” he mutters, tossing a small tangerine at her. She dodges it and sticks her tongue out at him, screeching when he makes a run for her. With several feet of height on his daughter, Jungkook snatches her in no time, throwing her over his shoulder, tattooed fingers tickling her sides.

Jovial screams and giggles leap out of the little girl until he tosses her on the sofa, her dark hair a wild mess and cheeks red, “not fair dad, you’re still bigger,” she pouts suddenly. Jungkook leans over the couch, laughing while swiping Mai’s hair out of her face, pinching her cheek in the process, “what do you want to eat for dinner, kid? Ordering in tonight.”

Mai jumps up in excitement, shouting your name.

He laughs, pulling his phone out to peruse a menu to order from, “not tonight- I have a work dinner, so you’ll be-”

“Not a babysitter-dad!” Mai whines, stomping her feet toward him, “I don’t want a babysitter, they aren’t fun.”

He shrugs, taking her chin in his hand and squeezing it, “sorry babe, she’s busy tonight.”

“Fine, whatever,” Mai turns in one swift motion and disappears into the den, homework in hand.

Jungkook groans with a slight curl to his lip, “yah, whatever…” he says to himself, wondering when his 7-year-old became a teenager.

With aching feet and a dull throbbing in your head, you sit at the breakfast nook in silence, swallowed up in the pleasant darkness of your apartment.

“Is it time to retire yet?” You want to cry like a baby, be coddled like one, rocked to sleep.

Just then a ding from your phone pulls you from your minute misery; a text message.

[Mark]: Okay, I’m going to level with you, should I stop trying? This is the third time in the last two weeks you’ve canceled our date…

You purse your lips, re-reading Mark’s message while the conversation you had with Jungkook weeks ago looms in the back of your mind.

‘Always something wrong with every guy you date…’

You shake your head; that’s not true. Mark is a very sweet guy. He is kind of introverted in a big group but alone, he’s all about you. He treats you well and as much as Jungkook wants to tease you about it - Mark is not a bad kisser.

But…

You sigh as you tap away at the keyboard.

[You]: I’m sorry Mark…as you can see, I’m not great at being forthcoming…or communicating.

[Mark]: no, what??

Haha come on I’m an adult, I can handle rejection :’)

You smile, warmed by Mark’s playful attitude.

[You]: Is it worse if I say that you are a great friend? Because you really are.

[Mark]: Oo yeah, that hurts a little but you’re good, I’ll find some way to get over you..

[You]: Don’t make it worse >< seriously Mark, you’ve been good to me these last few months, it’s nothing personal.

[Mark]: you deserve it and I’m sure the guy knows it already

Your eyes widen.

[You]: Sorry.. what are you talking about?

[Mark]: Come on I’m not stupid either haha every time we were together and that kid called or her dad, you dropped everything to talk to them. Rubbing salt in my wound here, but didn’t you leave our date once to be with her?

Oh, that guy.

[You]: Right…He’s my best friend…and his daughter I mean yeah, I would do anything for her. So I can’t apologize for that, but this is even more proof that you are a great guy!

[Mark]: hahaha, ok I got it, I have to say this is the least demoralizing way any woman has rejected me before

[You]: You’re welcome? Haha. Good night (:

It couldn’t have gone any better, the guilt over Mark that settled in your stomach was now gone, but you couldn’t figure out why it didn’t make you feel better.

Mark is smart but he was wrong. Well…maybe answering Mai’s phone call that one night, while you and Mark were making out on his couch, was a bit excessive? You cringe at the thought…

Peeling yourself from those memories and the barstool proves easier when your incentive is to no longer question what everyone around you seems to have common knowledge of. Pouring water into a steel pot, you set it on the stove to boil for some ramen.

Not long after your meal is done your phone rings with the Jeons’ home number flashing across the screen; “Bean?” You answer, knowing it’s Mai since Jungkook only calls you from his cell phone.

You are greeted with an exasperated huff before she whispers harshly into the phone, “why didn’t you come watch me tonight?”

Choosing to eat straight from the pot because it was one of those days, you bring it into the living room, a grimace on your face, “my sincerest apologies kid. I told your dad I’d be busy with work since we’re all going on vacation soon.”

“Oh, well, I don’t like this babysitter, she treats me like a little kid,” you almost choke on your first bite of noodles, stifling a laugh at Mai’s dispense.

“Okay one - you are a kid and two - be nice, three - where is your dad?”

Mai scoffs with gusto into the phone, “work dinner,” she exasperates, “dad thinks I’m a dummy, I know he’s on a date.”

Your heart drops and with it goes your appetite, setting the half-eaten food down on your coffee table. You move the phone away for a moment, allowing yourself a second to let out a long breath before continuing, “how do you know that, you know your dad is a busy guy, he goes on plenty of work dinners.”

“Hm- again I’m smart, dad says he is going on company dinners when it’s actually with work people,” Mai’s tone is flippant, “but when it’s a date? He calls them ‘work dinners.’”

“Oh right,” you curse yourself for having this adult conversation with a child, “duh.”

Mai laughs, “dad has been going on a lot of work dinners-”

You clam your eyes shut, “y-you know what bean, I’m sorry but I’m exhausted- are you in any immediate danger that requires me to come over there?

“No,” Mai sighs with obvious disappointment, “I guess not.”

Even with the unsettling of your heart, Mai always manages to melt you to your core, “you sure?”

“Dad would be mad if I made you come here, I’m okay, I just miss you I guess,” her voice suddenly drops, and the little kid is back. The innocence you love so much about her pulls you in.

“I miss you too,” you say, “but hey- the cruise is coming up soon, okay? You’ll have your grandparents, your dad-”

“And you, duh,” she adds.

You shake your head, chuckling, “and me.”

After talking her through her irritation and simply missing the two people that are her entire world, Mai hangs up a little more satisfied.

You? You call it an early night, ignoring the dreaded feeling hanging from your heartstrings.

You aren’t sure how to feel once you wake up on the first day of vacation. Having lost sleep over the last week while bitterly packing for the cruise, you thought up several ways you could have canceled before getting to this day. Picking up your phone on several occasions to text Jungkook only to picture Mai’s disappointment. She likely would have shed a tear or two at your expense.

Finally the night before, you swallowed back your pride and zipped up your packed suitcase which was now sitting in the back of Jungkook’s trunk with the rest of their things. He and Mai sang along to a song while you tapped your hand against your leg, unable to keep the smile away from your face for long.

Mrs. Jeon greets you eagerly after smothering Mai in kisses, taking the three of you ahead as you enter the ship.

“Home for the next week,” Jungkook comes up from behind and puts his arm around you, pressing his palm into Mai’s hair and messing with it while she tries to fight him off. You move away from him and walk towards the elevators, “shall we settle in our rooms?”

Mai is the first to react, running toward you and grabbing your hand in the process before the rest follow.

Once in the rooms with Jungkook’s parents only a few doors down from your suite, Mai pops in and out of the door connecting your room to theirs, “we can have sleepovers every night!” She cheers.

You shake your head, laughing at her excitement while still taking it all in yourself. Jungkook comes in from your balcony, pressing two fingers against Mai’s forehead when she goes throttling toward him, “relax monster,” he chuckles, “and not every night, okay?”

“Okay, but at least when you go on work dinners,” Mai peers passed Jungkook’s hip at you making a face too devilish for a child, “I can sleep in her room?”

You’re glad the bed is there to catch you when you sit back. Jungkook gently pushes her head back, laughing, “we’ll see.”

You have to swallow back that all too familiar sickness, “come on Kook, it’s vacation.” Mai leaps forward with a toothy smile, “yeah dad, vacation!” She shouts, wrapping her arms around Jungkook’s legs.

You watch the two of them dance around your room, Mai standing on top of Jungkook’s feet while they tease each other; “duck feet,” Mai says, proceeding to quack at her father.

“Do you uh- you have to work while we’re here?” You ask Jungkook. He sticks his bottom lip out and shakes his head, “nope, just one brunch with a few colleagues but that’s it.”

You despise the relief that immediately washes over you.

Switching into vacation mode proves a lot easier than you anticipated, given the new information Mai shared with you during that one phone call. You hate to admit it to yourself, but seeing Jungkook stick around for the first couple of days provides relief for you that he is in fact, not going on any work dinners this trip.

Shut up shut up shut UP…

Your thoughts eat away at your brain while you sit poolside, taking a break from carrying Mai around on your shoulders like a mermaid - per her request. You were her throne and she, the mermaid princess of an undersea world, Jungkook the villainous merman out to seek her crown. After a victorious battle against said merman, you urge Mai to continue playing with her dad because being the throne is a weighty job.

Watching them is almost better.

Like a shooting star, a smile beams across your face, sitting back to hold yourself together, barking with laughter when Jungkook throws Mai into the air. A shriek of excitement falls out of her until she lands safely in a big splash.

Jungkook raptures you as you look over to find his head tossed back, perfect teeth showing as he laughs with every part of his being - eyes closed, the only visible part of his face is the utter joy he is feeling.

Your heart beats faster, cheeks grow hotter but not from the sun. Like the kind of gasp that escapes you during a jump scare in a horror movie, a memory locked so deep floods your head. You lower the brim of your hat to hide the immediate tears that flood your eyes, relieved to see Jungkook and Mai continue to chase each other around the pool, making waves while splashing one another.

It was a long day, Jungkook enlisted your help with a colicky baby Mai in need. You read up on as many articles as you could before heading over to their place, finding him in a panic though he was trying to repress it for the time being.

With much effort on both ends, Mai was finally asleep after hours of fussing. Jungkook, desperate for his daughter’s relief to the point of tears, you decided to leave them alone in his bedroom while you claimed a spot on the couch.

Waking up hours later, the sun is long gone. You head to his bedroom to say goodbye.

The door is still open and you find Jungkook lying on his side with his back to you, instead of sleeping like you initially assumed, he is humming. One hand rests under his head while the other moves in an up-and-down motion. You stand on your tiptoes and see Mai is still asleep, laid out on her back with her limbs sticking out, you cover your mouth to stifle a chuckle.

She looks angelic - long eyelashes tickling the tops of her chubby cheeks, you can even hear her heavy breathing beyond Jungkook’s soft hum.

“Is it possible to be this in love?” His voice captures your ears but it’s a welcomed sound. You can’t see his face but you’re sure he’s near to tears for the second time that day. Pushing off of the wall, you walk to the edge of the bed. Jungkook’s eyes dart to you, dropping his head, silently laughing at himself.

You pat his ankle, a chummy smile covering your face only to tease him, “I’m heading home, will you two be okay?”

He looks back at Mai before nodding, “thank you,” he sighs before moving out of bed but you try to stop him, assuring him that you can make it to the door in one piece.

“When do I ever let you walk out alone?” He whispers, kissing Mai’s cheek before carefully moving off the bed. He follows you to the front door. When you turn to wish him and Mai a full night’s rest, he swallows you in a hug. You stand stiff for a moment, unable to recall if this was something that had ever occurred before. You weren’t the bear-hugging type of friend.

Even more, you can feel your heart thrum against Jungkook’s and suddenly it becomes natural as you melt into his hold. You wrap your arms around his middle to which he pulls you closer and tighter.

Eyes closed, the feeling of being in his arms is overwhelming and cheesy as it all feels, you have to will the tears away as a rush of feelings come flooding over you. Every over-thought you’d wondered up to this moment is answered.

‘Am I falling for him? No…wait.

Do I love my best friend?’

“We love you,” Jungkook says close to your ear, shaking you from your thoughts, but with them are the crackings of your heart, “I don’t say that enough,” he adds. He finally releases you and you have to pull yourself together in a second.

“Jungkook, I told you I’d be here for you and Mai- no question.” You manage to say, clearing your throat.

Walking away from his house that night, you know for you, it’s all changed.

A shrill cry of your name jolts you awake, cold water splashing your midriff. Your eyes focus back and on Mai who is now sitting on Jungkook’s shoulders, “let’s race,” she says. Without hesitance you jump in after them, pulling a giggling Mai into the pool with you who begs for mercy.

After a warm shower, sleep proves victor over the book Mai begged hands and knees for you to read, but by the time you washed up and changed into fresh pajamas, Mai’s face was planted into Jungkook’s pillow, hair splayed across the white pillowcase.

Jungkook hears you chuckle from his place on the balcony. Turning to look over his shoulder just as you kiss Mai’s head, a gentle flutter in his chest mimics the rocking of the ship.

“She’s going to need an entire week to recuperate after this trip,” you come out and sit on the bench with him, drawing your legs up and holding them to your chest. Jungkook’s silence makes you curious, but when you look over, the look on his face tells you why.

Brows are set straight with his arms crossed in front of his chest, you can see every thought that's running through his mind. Instead of pegging him with a question, you tap his leg with your foot. He takes a sharp breath in, laughing at himself when he looks at you.

“I was just thinking,” he groans, moving forward to rest his face in his hands. Your heart crawls out of your chest in search of a way to soothe your best friend, yet all the same, you just want to hold him.

“I was just thinking…” he sighs with a shrug, “back when I was twenty-one, convinced I was this big hotshot with a realtor’s license and brand new BMW,” he laughs in shame, “ah- then all of a sudden there’s a helpless baby who I had no time to prepare for.”

You remember that time with him; recalling the day Jungkook called you to his then apartment, voice too shaken to explain why he needed you there as he returned a missed call from the local hospital. Of course, your mind assumed he was diagnosed with some kind of illness.

But with the call on speaker, you watched the color drain from his face as child protective services spoke to him on the other end. Words are thrown around like fireballs- ‘your name was put on the birth certificate by her birth mother Mr. Jeon…a DNA test has been ordered so we will need you to come down to the clinic to complete it. For now, the infant will be placed with our services upon release from the hospital.’

‘No,’ he was quick to respond, ‘no-don’t do that please, I’ll bring her home. Can-can I bring her home?’

“You didn’t need that test to prove what you already knew,” you add, watching the way your best friend runs his hands back and forth through his hair.

He took the test anyway and it was of course confirmed that Mai was his; “when you called me over, I couldn’t imagine what they would say and that was definitely the farthest thing from my mind.”

“Wouldn’t change it for the world now that I know I’m a capable dad but-” his confidence drops and you sit forward, bending your head until you can see his face.

“But what?” You ask.

“Any chance at falling in love is out the window-” you can hear the guilt in his voice when he says that. He sits back and you follow, keeping your eyes on him. He chuckles with a crooked grin, “what?”

“Why do you do that? It doesn’t hurt you?”

He sighs, looking back at the water, “it’s easier, isn’t it? Sleeping around rather than risking a broken heart?”

“Jungkook, Mai’s mother-she was foolish for leaving you and even more for leaving Mai-I mean let’s not forget she, herself never even told you about your child in the first place-”

“Yeah but I’m still an idiot for even going there with her, I knew all she wanted was something casual and I gave it to her just so I could feel something.” He shakes his head.

“But one really good thing came out of that, right?” You push, taking your fingers and nudging his chin to force a smile on his face.

He doesn’t argue, thinking of the little girl that is sound asleep inside.

A quiet hum settles inside of your chest drawing Jungkook to look at you. Your eyes set on the moonlight reflecting against the water; “I love your kid Jungkook.”

Just looking at your smile when you turn to face him, it’s a sight that nestles deep inside of his chest; “I already did before you even brought her home but I swear, my heart almost can’t take how much I love Mai.”

The gentle rock of the boat begins to lull you into sleep; chilly ocean air creates goosebumps over your skin as you fight your eyes rolling back, your breathing slows as a content hum comes out of you. Jungkook watches you for a moment, noticing the slight chatter in your teeth that pulls a giggle from him, “come here.”

Your heavy eyelids open to look at him, blinking inquisitively as he brings you closer to him. “I’m trying to warm you up,” he chuckles with another tug of your hand. He scoots down to rest his head along the sofa so you can lay your head comfortably on his shoulder; Jungkook’s body heat is all you need to fully accept his invitation.

“Just so you know,” he clears his throat, “because I know how my kid is,” Jungkook’s voice sounds like a subtle purr, “she loves you too.”

Caught in a haze of exhaustion and more emotion than your heart can handle, you nuzzle against Jungkook’s shoulder, willing yourself to fall asleep with those sentiments in mind.

On the cusp of a deep sleep, you swear you feel Jungkook press his lips to the top of your head as he carries you off into the room.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re immediately aware this is not your bed though it isn’t entirely unfamiliar. Your heart launches in your throat as you sit up on your elbows, eyes pressed shut.

Okay now!

They pop open, your initial concern to find Jungkook lying there settles when you see Mai at your side. Her long raven hair strung across her face.

A snore causes you to jump; awakened by his snore, Jungkook looks at you with one eye open, his body contorted to the size of the narrow cot meant for Mai. His feet dangling off the edge.

“You could have slept in my bed,” you snort.

He sits up, the sheet falling off to reveal his rippled chest and abs. You’ve seen his muscles several times, but the setting is far too intimate this time. You have to look away, pulling Mai’s hair off of her face. Jungkook stands and stretches, “it was nice falling asleep to you guys’ breathing- peaceful,” he says before disappearing into the bathroom.

The days go by too fast. Each one was filled with various activities tailored to Mai as she enjoyed the time with her grandparents. On several occasions, she couldn’t help but announce how happy she was to have her favorite people with her all at the same time.

Although, on the second to last night, you fail to ignore when Jungkook doesn’t return from that brunch as soon as he assured Mai he would, showing up early in the evening sans tie and a fresh mark on the side of his neck.

He comes lazily into your room after a shower, greeted by Mai with open arms, “where were you?” She asks, pressing her face into his side.

“I’m sorry.” His answer is short and hardly an answer. You turn away to hide your disappointment, closing the coloring book Mai was using and putting away her crayons; “your parents said you had unexpected business come up after brunch?” You ask.

He looks at you and nods.

Liar.

“But look bean,” he picks Mai up, conveniently placing her where she can’t point out the hickey, “you’re going to dinner alone with grandma and grandpa tonight, okay?” Mai throws her head back, “you’re abandoning me again?”

You can’t help but laugh, curiosity pushing away the heaviness in your chest, “wait, why?”

Jungkook looks at Mai, “cover your ears.”

“But-”

He curls an eyebrow at her and with a loud scoff, she does as he says.

“They want us to have a night out. We can go to the club downstairs - dancing and drinks?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You shake your head, laughing while your resolve not to give in slips away, “I have a dress that deserves to be seen, might as well.”

While Jungkook spends the last few hours of daylight with Mai, you don’t waste any time and get ready. It isn’t often you can pamper yourself like this; hair laid sleek against your back, taking time on your makeup to ensure its lasting quality because you plan to dance away the troubles of your heart.

Just as you buckle the other strap to your heel, there’s a knock at the main door of your room. You peer into Jungkook and Mai’s room through the connecting door which has remained open the majority of the trip, remembering he left just a few minutes before to drop Mai off at his parents’ room.

You open it without much thought, stumbling back when you come face to face with your best friend. He catches you by the wrist, chuckling.

His hair is combed with an effortless side part, thick bangs swept on either side of his forehead. His patterned buttoned-down stands out though the short sleeves allow his tattoos to be on display. White slacks and a new pair of shoes adorn his lower half while a touch of gold jewelry ties it all together. Pushing your figurative tongue back into your mouth, you offer a simple compliment before stepping out.

Going unnoticed is the way Jungkook’s eyes slink over your figure, selfishly detailing in his memory how your dress fits you in all the right places.

“Hurry up slowpoke,” you call to him, already halfway down the hallway. He looks at you, wondering if you’ve caught him staring. You choose to turn away before he can see the smirk on your face.

Music booms around you while a colorful group of people aged from 21 to 90 fills the space for a final night of hoorah as you settle at the bar. Your feet are already aching after Jungkook pulled you straight onto the dance floor when you initially arrived. Having clubbed with him on many occasions, you aren’t surprised by his rhythm and ease in gyrating his hips to the music. Perhaps a little closer to you than you are used to, but you’ll allow a pass tonight. And really, are you complaining?

No. But you choose to ignore that voice in your head.

Jungkook is looking around until he finds your eyes. You blink, clearing your throat, “I have a confession.” He scoots in closer so he can hear you better, eyes dropping to meet yours. Stirring in his seat, you wonder if he’s fidgeting out of discomfort.

Liquid courage pushes you to continue, “I broke into my minibar and had a little pre-game before you came,” you admit. Jungkook drops his head and laughs at you again. His eyes squint beneath a beaming smile, you practically choke at how beautiful he looks, “y-you might have to carry me back to my room later.” Your tongue suddenly feels numb as you stumble over your words.

He nods, “you deserve to let loose,” his expression takes on more sincerity, “you do so much for me and Mai.”

If not for the mood lighting flashing in various colors, you swear Jungkook’s face is flushed. His blinks are slow and you wonder when he’ll stop looking at you like that-

“Here you are.” The bartender barrages in with your drinks. You jump slightly while Jungkook thanks the man, a straight line forming his lips.

After two shots and another finished drink, Jungkook is ready to dance into the wee hours of the morning. Head caught in a constant loop after those shots, you insist he goes on his own. Just then a woman’s voice appears close to your ear, causing you to jump back. Jungkook looks to where you are with some sort of a smile appearing on his face but you can hardly make it out through a hazy gaze.

He’s saying your name and you make every effort to concentrate, “this is my colleague, Rosie.”

Rosie smiles at you but you notice more the way her hands are wrapped around Jungkook’s bicep and then the way she moves her hand to smooth across his shoulders, tucking her fingers beneath his collar.

Rosie from brunch. You smile, “nice to meet you.” You can’t help when your eyes ghost over the mark on Jungkook’s neck once more, the one you’ve had to pretend wasn’t there the entire night.

“Likewise,” she hardly spares you a second look before her eyes are glued to Jungkook’s, “let’s go dance.”

Jungkook sets his attention on you when you stand, making it a point to plant your feet firmly on the ground, “go, I need to use the restroom.”

Rosie wastes no time and pulls Jungkook away.

You groan, staring at yourself in the mirror, eyes weighed down with one too many drinks though you’re still able to stand on your own. That deserves a pat on the back along with your determination to not allow this night to go sour as you make your way out to the dance floor once more.

But it all comes to a screeching halt when you spot Rosie and Jungkook, even more, the way his lips hover dangerously close over the skin of her neck, his hand smoothing over her waist. Their bodies are pressed together as they dance with not an inch of breathing space to spare between the two.

You can’t help the fire that rages through you though tears sting your eyes. Before he can see, given he even looks up for one minute, you make a desperate escape towards the exit.

Stupid..so stupid. Stupid on a monumental level. What did you think was going to happen-he’d magically fall in love with you on this trip? Yes…NO.

You sniffle as you rub the heels of your feet, skin red from the pain inflicted by your choice of footwear. Even after a long shower, scrubbing the black makeup off your eyes that melted onto the bags that are now present - you can’t shake the aching in your chest.

“Ugh,” you groan, tossing yourself back onto your bed. Hair still sopping wet from your shower and dressed in your comfiest pajamas, nothing could soothe you at this point. Mind still swimming in a drunken state, you wish you could just black out already.

Click.

The door to Jungkook and Mai’s room closes. You shoot up into a sitting position once more, immediately regretting that. Jungkook peers in through that middle door, chuckling at you and a little less drunk than you. He always held his liquor better than you did.

That fire flickers in you once more, so slight but it causes you to twitch. You can’t un-notice it, even when you look away for a moment while he moves over to you. His hair is a mess, shirt hastily buttoned, and the collar is tinted pink, not to mention the faded lipstick marks around his jaw. He steps any closer to you and you could name the brand of perfume she was wearing.

“Club closed like two hours ago,” your words are still a bit slurred. Jungkook just chuckles, “yeah, I’m beat.” You shake your head while he moves back in the direction of his room.

“Old habits die hard,” you mutter venomously.

Jungkook cocks his head, taken aback, “what?”

You straighten your shoulders when he looks at you, “are you really going to risk putting yourself in this same situation again? Just for a one-night stand? Have you forgotten how Mai came into the picture?” The deep frown on your face is hardly enough to hide how you swallow back the gasp following your accusation. The dagger you’ve pierced him with digs into his back while a crushing pain swallows him whole, you can see the crumbling beneath your best friend’s eyes.

His cheeks grow red when he turns back towards the door, “go to sleep,” he mumbles in a tone that has the ground shaking, tossing his room key to the side, “you’re drunk.”

You flinch when he slams the door shut.

The swaying of the boat doesn’t help the unsettling waves in your stomach and throbbing head. Even with the new presence of another person on the balcony, your head remains cradled in your hands.

“Here,” Jungkook says in a low tone but it still makes your head throb. He reaches out to you with a water bottle in hand, “and take these.”

You peer up, the torturous rays of the sun hurt your eyes. You shake your head. Jungkook smacks his tongue in disapproval, taking up the bottom space of the lounging chair you're sitting on. He opens the bottle for you and brings it up to your lips, “stubbornness won’t make you feel better, drink.”

“Oh god, please don’t say that word,” you retch, taking a sip. Another second later Jungkook pops the two aspirin into your mouth, assisting you with another swig of water.

The rushing waves settle around you but the awkward silence can be cut with the dagger Jungkook was still holding onto. He sighs, looking away from the wooden deck of the balcony.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so drunk before,” he says. The strained laughter that follows makes your chest grow hot along with the heaviness in his tone.

You feel his gaze fall over you and you finally look up at him, removing your sunglasses. He doesn’t tear his attention away from you, waiting to see if you’ll do anything, say anything.

“Do you remember-”

You’re nodding before he can finish his sentence, “I remember what I said.” You wish you didn’t, probably even more than Jungkook wishes he never heard it.

Jungkook sits there a little bit stunned, straightening his back and you can see the frown grow on his brow, “not that I owe you any explanation - I didn’t sleep with her, we just - I don’t know I just couldn’t-”

You question him with your eyes, “you’re right Jungkook, you don’t need to explain anything to me, we’re both adults.” You cut him off before it can hurt anymore, irritation lining your tone which Jungkook picks up on the latter. Somehow he still misses the longing behind your eyes.

“How about some leniency? I’m trying to be nice even though you insulted me last night-”

“You don’t have to be nice to me, I was out of line so let’s just drop it. I’m sorry for ever saying anything-”

“Will you let me care about you?” He snaps back. It catches you off guard, even when he’s been angry in the past, he’s never snapped at anybody. But the shock isn’t enough to stop you from feeling angry too.

“What are you talking-if this is you caring about me then please, spare me. I mean y-you came back to the room like nothing-” you groan out of frustration, swinging your legs over the lounge chair to stand up. The uneven weight nearly sends Jungkook to the ground but he manages to catch himself.

“Like nothing-what?” Jungkook follows you into your room.

“Nothing Jungkook, nothing happened, that’s what I mean. And you know what, nothing is ever going to happen,” you mutter, tossing clothes into your opened suitcase.

He grasps for the words falling from your mouth, managing to hear every last one, “what do you mean?”

You shake your head, “look let’s just give each other space, yeah? We only have today left so let me just do what you brought me here to do - let me do what I do best apparently.”

The riddled expression on his face only makes you grow more impatient for him to leave you alone; “that’s why I’m here right Jungkook - to take care of Mai while you rendezvous? I’m just a babysitter for Mai - that’s all I’ve ever been to you since she was born, right?”

His eyes grow cold while your words only chip away at him more and more, “you’re my best friend, I invited you to come because you’re like family-”

“Oh, just stop!” You twist pieces of your clothing between angry fists, “stop doing this to me-stop saying those things to me, stop cuddling with me like we’re-we-” you’re sputtering on the edge of stone-cold tears, “you just-you have no idea what you’re doing to me.”

“Then tell me,” he urges you, “for God’s sake talk to me instead of pushing me away-”

“Jungkook, I love you,” you cry desperately, your body sinking, “I-I love you, and I can’t do it anymore.” You collapse onto the edge of your bed, praying the tears will go away so you can get a coherent thought out, shaking your head.

“I can’t do this anymore, Jungkook.” You weep quietly.

All he can do is whisper your name to break the deafening silence.

“Just leave,” you look at him with red, tear-filled eyes, “please.”

“But we should talk-”

“I won’t do this anymore…I just can’t,” you can’t stop crying, “please leave.”

There isn’t anything more heart-breaking than when the door shuts behind your best friend, you are left alone to steep in the figurative mess left around you. A storm rages your mind while tear after tear continues to fall, even when you occupy yourself with stuffing everything into your suitcase. Some hours pass when you’re still in your room, suitcase packed. You can hear Mai enter their room, voice muffled behind the closed door she was so used to being open.

Follows is a stern call of her name from Jungkook just before the doorknob turns but abruptly stops along with your heart. You can hear her asking him why before you assume he pulls her away from the door.

You force your eyes shut, pressing your tear-stained face into your pillow and praying the last day on this god-awful ship will magically be over when you open your eyes again. Body exhausted from the emotional day, you feel yourself sink into darkness until all subconscious thought disappears.

It was a fight to get Mai to understand why you weren’t going home with them the next morning. You never lied to her. Not once in all of these years. Not until today when you told her it had to do with work, that was why. She slumped into her grandma’s hug before going over to the car per Jungkook’s request who was standing near you.

“Jungkook, I just want to go home and I already called an Uber so-”

He just nods but you can see the hurt in his eyes, “will you text me-us? Text us when you get home?”

You look down at your phone, “I-um- I need to go over to the waiting area where I’ll be picked up, thanks for inviting me.” With that, you’re turning away before he can even breathe a second time. Jungkook can’t tear his eyes away from you, watching you walk away, wanting to watch you until you're a speck in the distance.

“Mai is buckled in Jungkook-ah.” His dad calls him away before he can do any of that.

His thoughts spiral on the drive back home.

‘I can’t do this anymore…I won’t do this.’ Your words play like a broken movie reel in his mind. A sick feeling settles in Jungkook’s stomach; a strong taste of bile rises in his throat as he wonders if you mean it.

The days following begin to fuse into the next before you realize two weeks have gone by. Two weeks of missed phone calls from Jungkook but even more painful are the missed calls from their house phone.

Mai.

You have to hold your stomach every time you think of Mai. The innocent one caught between two adults she thinks the world of, the only two who are her entire world. It’s enough to make you want to lose all contents of your stomach which hasn’t been much lately. Getting by on a couple of sips from your morning tea and a bite or two of unbuttered sourdough bread before heading off to work.

Everything has lost its taste, life as you know it has lost flavor.

You always enjoyed work, as stressful as it could be at times. But it was becoming your mute therapist because you couldn’t talk about the things warring your mind. They just bottled inside of you, one after the other; when would it finally implode?

Three knocks sound at your front door and you jump away from the counter, a small plate with a sad sandwich placed on top of it. You abandon it, you’re sure the bread is starting to mold anyway. Poking your head around the corner, your eyes are wide as they stare down the narrow hallway. The runner in the center of the floor is left askew, shoes tossed under the hallway table cluttered with your keys and three days of mail; everything is left unopened.

The doorbell screeches like a hungry crow; you yelp a curse before clamping your hand over your mouth. There’s no way he has the gull to show up at your house…

A muffled call of your name sounds on the other side of the door followed by rapid presses of the doorbell.

It’s Nic.

You sigh, moving down the hallway as quickly as you can before tearing the door open. Nic stands there with her arm up, her hand fisted ready to knock on the door, “well, hello stranger!” Her voice is laced with sarcasm and a toothy smile to boot. She’s already setting her things down on the small breakfast nook that separates the kitchen from the living room, she follows your every move until you’re standing on the opposite side of the counter, a waiting expression sits on her face.

“Wine?” She asks. You’re impressed when she pulls a long bottle out of her purse, something like Mary Poppins would do if she wasn’t so cheerful.

You shake your head, pushing the bottle back into her bag, “I’m cutting myself off forever.”

“Ah,” she nods knowingly and it’s confirmation enough that she is aware of the revelation that occurred on the cruise. You know he called her and asked her to check on you.

You lean onto the counter and Nic does the same after propping herself up on a barstool, “he sent you,” you state rather than ask. You know your best friends through and through. And beneath your broken pride and splitting heart, you can admit that they know you just the same.

Instead of a joke, she just purses her lips and offers you an apologetic smile, “he did.”

You shrug, resting your hand under your chin. The two of you continue in a stare-off that holds a thousand words between your shaking eyes and Nic’s patient ones. She doesn’t press you like you’re used to, but perhaps that’s because she can see the sheen across your eyes or the way you keep swallowing back the lump in your throat.

Nic, opinionated in all her ways and always managing to impose them on the ones she holds near and dear, bites her bottom lip when you close your eyes only for a few tears to fall shortly after.

She clears her throat, pressing a tissue into your hand while your head hangs low; “you should talk to him, babe.”

You’re shaking your head and Nic sighs, biting back her words until you pick your head up to look at her.

She’s careful but direct; “So that’s it, you just cut him off? For how long are you planning on doing that - for forever?” Nic knows how ridiculous that sounds. Even more than when you swore you would take your once secret love for Jungkook to the grave.

“That’s the plan,” you croak, pressing the tissue over your eyes so it can soak up your tears.

“And Mai?” Nic retorts.

Your hands drop onto the counter along with your stomach; there’s no answer for that.

“Custody isn’t necessarily a thing between friends-”

“Nic,” you give her a stern look and she apologizes.

“Look, you don’t need me to say this because I know you, and I know how much you love Mai,” Nic’s tone sounds desperate for you to hear her, “but I’m going to say it anyway - I get seeing him and talking to him sounds incredibly painful, but are you really willing to lose that little girl’s trust? I mean anyone can see that she worships the ground you walk on,” Nic can’t help but chuckle but her seriousness never fades, “if you decide never to talk to them again, that-” Nic pushes her pointer finger onto the countertop, “that will be excruciating for her…” The second to pause allows you to feel the final crushing of your heart before Nic finishes.

“You can’t make this choice for her and not be in her life all of a sudden just because you want to run away from reality - Mai is just as much in this painful reality with you and Jungkook.”

You hate how right she is. You hate that Nic has taken every single word out of your mouth and made sense of it.

The sun is setting over the city as Jungkook continues to stare out the window of his office. It’s the end of a long workday. He’s tired after showing several houses from one end of the boulevard to the other. His feet hurt, his neck is aching, and he’s sick of wearing this stupid suit.

But he can’t think of anything else. He can’t think of anyone else. All he can think about is you. Sick with worry about his daughter who has no understanding of what’s happened. She’s asked to sleep with him every night for the past two weeks, it was the only thing that could soothe her anxiety. He wanted to be mad at you for cutting Mai off. Himself, he could understand, but Mai? Then again, he wondered how much he was to blame too. Did he unintentionally put his daughter in this spot? Going out with a different woman at least a few nights a week, asking you to babysit Mai every time? If he had just been honest from the beginning, maybe none of this would have happened.

He scoffs at himself, ripping his tie from around his neck and tossing it onto his desk. Of course, idiot, if you just confessed years ago, this wouldn’t be happening. Mai wouldn’t be experiencing her first heartbreak at seven years old. Selfishly, he wouldn’t have had to see the hurt that split you right down the middle when he waltzed in that night covered in another woman’s touch.

All the times you saw him that way.

Idiot. He has to laugh. Idiot doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“Hi baby,” Jungkook sweeps Mai into his arms when he finally arrives home, relieving the babysitter. Mai rests her head on his shoulder, pressing the moles she can see on his face with her finger. He’s not used to her being so quiet.

It’s late; way past her bedtime.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Mai sighs into his shoulder.

“I know,” he rubs her back, walking into her bedroom. Maybe she could manage it tonight. Mai doesn’t fight it, climbing under her comforter when Jungkook pulls it back for her. He sits on the floor next to her bed, knees curled up to his chest, he looks back at Mai whose eyes glisten under the glow of the starry night light, “guess we need to talk, huh?” She asks.

Jungkook chuckles, pinching her cheek, “shoot.”

Mai’s eyelashes flutter when she looks away, “she always has dinner with us on Sundays,” she starts, “is she mad at me?”

Jungkook is quick to settle her disquieting thoughts, “never in a million years bud, she could never be upset with you.”

“Then why isn’t she coming over to see me?” Mai isn’t crying, but her eyes look back at Jungkook and he can feel a tear in his heart when she does.

He sighs, holding Mai’s hand inside of his; “I hurt her feelings, so I think seeing you makes it hard for her because I’m always with you, right?”

Mai nods, “So say you’re sorry dad.”

He muffles a laugh, “it’s not that easy for adults sometimes.”

“Why? Don’t you miss her too?”

“I do,” he admits, “and I care a lot about her too.” Jungkook says, eying Mai, searching for the right words before he continues, “do you know what that means, bean?” He rests his chin on top of his hand, stroking her hair away from her face with the other. Mai observes her dad, hands pressed underneath her cheek.

“Grandma says when you care about people, it means you love them, so-” she twitches her nose inquisitively and Jungkook can’t help but giggle, leaning in to pinch it, “ask me questions,” he says, helping her out.

Mai yawns, not too far from sleep. But Jungkook can’t resist this time before bed, when his daughter is on the precipice of sweet slumber and they are alone, talking about whatever. Most of the time they are teasing each other, but if Mai has spent the day with you, Jungkook especially wanted to hear about it.

“I guess, does it mean you love her like you love me?” Mai asks.

The corner of his lips quirk into a smile, “I love you more than you can ever know-” he stops to catch the twinkle in his daughter’s eye, “but this love is a little bit different.”

Mai nods and follows with a big yawn. Jungkook leans in once more to kiss her forehead, “sleep tight.”

“I won’t let the bedbugs bite,” May yawns again.

Before Jungkook steps out of her room, Mai squeaks, “dad?”

“Yeah?” He turns in a heartbeat.

“I love her too, and well you know how the other kids at school-well most kids have their moms you know?”

He can feel the final shattering inside of him when he goes to rub his chest. Jungkook moves in, sitting next to Mai when she sits up, “I feel like I love her how a kid is supposed to love their mom-like she is the very best friend I will ever get to have, dad,” Mai looks up at him, “if she is mad at you, please make it better because I think we need her for forever.”

Tears brim the outside of Jungkook’s eyes, his smile trembling when he stares down at his literal heart in the shape of his child; “I love you so much,” he pulls her into his lap where Mai finds solace hiding her face in his shoulder.

“But my friend at school can never know that, it would hurt her feelings,” Mai muffles against him. Jungkook manages a gentle laugh, pressing a long kiss to the top of Mai’s head, his tears going unnoticed by his daughter.

The last time you received a call from Mai’s school was a year ago, she pushed a boy who tried to put a dead lizard on top of her head. He fell back and scraped his elbow. Mai was not about to let the school call her dad.

‘He won’t be as mad if you’re with me!’ She insisted, holding her hand in yours as the two of you crossed the street, a detention slip in her other hand.

Listed as the third emergency contact under her grandma, your stomach churns, wondering why they would be calling you. There is no question whether you would answer or not.

“Hello?” You breathe slowly into the phone.

The woman on the other end informs you she’s the principal; “Mai’s father and grandma haven’t returned our calls; the kids had an early release today but it appears they have forgotten to pick her up, and the buses have all gone.”

You frown, they never forget to pick Mai up from school. And if either one couldn’t, you were the next in line if she wasn’t going to take the bus; “oh-uh okay, I-um-I can be there in-” you look at the clock above your desk, ignoring the incomplete work before you, “I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

You rush around the room to gather your things, darting for the door with your keys in hand.

By the time you’re walking up to the school Mai is running through the main doors, the principal right behind her smiling as Mai meets you halfway. She clings around your waist and it instantly causes your eyes to water, “hi bean.”

“I missed you,” she says, pulling herself off of you only to grab your hand. She pulls you with fervor to your car, barely giving you time to look back and wave at the principal.

Once settled in the car you turn towards the backseat and look at her with raised brows, “did they know you were getting out early?”

Mai purses her lips, eyes widening when she shrugs in response, quick to open a book to read when you start the car.

“Hm,” you turn around without much afterthought, making the drive back to their house. It’s been three weeks now, three weeks since that morning which you’ve tried desperately to forget, and three weeks since talking to Jungkook and Mai.

You aren’t sure what classifies as tension between an adult and a child, but the Mai who is usually speaking faster than she can keep up with has taken to staring out the window, staring at the buildings whizzing by and trees blending into the other. You look into the rearview mirror every so often, pretending you don’t know why she looks so indifferent.

Hugging you was a good sign, but now she seems awkward, dashing out of your car and beating you to the front door. You eye each other when you make it there. She gives you a sarcastic look, looking at your keys for a moment before you get the hint. You always had a set of keys to their house. It felt weird using them now.

Mai pushes the door open impatiently, the keys still in the lock with your hand attached to it, “hey-geez, slow down will you-no running-” you smack your tongue, setting your things down when Mai runs down the hallway to her bedroom.

Your chest fills with air as you take a glance around their home, singing praises that Jungkook’s car is not in the driveway meaning he must have been too busy to eat lunch at home.

“Mai,” your voice echoes down the hallway, “Mai you know shouldn’t be running in the house.”

She’s sitting at the small table her grandpa made for her, her homework already laid out and a pencil in hand. You watch her for a moment, waiting for any sign of acknowledgment of what you’ve said. But she just sits there, chin resting in her hand while she reads over the assignment.

You sigh, moving to sit on the floor next to her, looking over her paper to read the words but all you can see is the blank expression on Mai’s face. You poke her hand, “anybody in there?”

She moves her hand into her lap and starts writing.

You know why she’s doing this and you can’t be upset, but it does sting a little. Usually, it’s a fight to get her to do her homework when you’re around; “so you’re just going to ignore me? I thought you missed me.”

It’s only then that her eyes dart to meet yours, her eyes a mirrored reflection of her father’s. It’s always amazed you how they twinkle like stardust is floating around in them. You attempt a smile but it just falls when you notice how her eyes are glistening with tears.

“I missed you too bean-”

“Na-uh, I’m a kid but you don’t need to lie to me, I’m a tough kid.” She defends herself.

“Mai,” you sigh.

“If you missed me then you would have come to see me, but you didn’t for three whole weeks, so you’re just a liar,” Mai abandons her pencil and drops her face onto the table, creating a barrier around her head with her arms.

That cuts you deep.

A liar.

You sit there and listen to her sniffle before working up the courage to touch her arm, she flinches and you wait for her to pull away but it’s more surprising when she doesn’t.

“Bean, will you look at me please?” Your tone is soft as you rub her arm. She shakes her head.

“Please," is all you can say. You watch her chest heave when she complies a minute later, cheeks wet from her tears, she can hardly keep her eyes on you. You reach over and wipe her face with the back of your hand, squeezing her chin in the process. She bites back a smile.

“You lost a tooth!” You gasp, holding onto her chin and moving it down to reveal the new gap in her bottom teeth. She can’t help but perk up at you noticing, “it fell out when I bit into an apple,” she giggles. You laugh with her, watching her round cheeks glow pink; “Mai, I really have missed you.”

She moves her lips in a thinking manner, finally, you can breathe a little bit easier when her eyes find you, “I told dad you are my best friend. And usually best friends like to see each other, so,” she hums, scrounging around for her thoughts, “so you didn’t come over and I thought you just didn’t want me to be your friend anymore.”

You’re shaking your head, cursing at yourself, “that would never happen, not in a million lifetimes kid because you’re my best friend too.”

She understands but you can still see the questioning in her expression as she tries to piece it all together so it can make sense. You pull Mai closer to you until she is sitting right in front of you, her legs tucked underneath herself; “I am so sorry bean, for not talking to you and for not coming around-” you start but you wonder how to continue, looking around the room as if there is some viable answer written on the walls, “I was…angry about something and it hurt me really bad. So I thought being alone would make me feel better.”

Mai plays with your hands, perhaps not even noticing she is doing it, “did it?”

You have to chuckle at her, if only you had a measure of Mai’s honesty, you and Jungkook would not be in this current situation, “no, because I just ended up hurting the one person who means so much to me, the only one who has never hurt me back.”

Mai looks at you hopefully, “me?”

A smile beams across your face and you pull Mai into you until she is giggling, “yes you, silly.”

After a moment of light-heartedness, Mai settles back down, drawing circles into the shag rug, “dad said he hurt your feelings, so I guess this is all his fault.”

You hum, rubbing your hand over her hair, “well - no, I can’t put all the blame-”

“MAI?” The desperate yell for her name causes both of you to jump. Mai clamors to her feet, darting into her bathroom and slamming the door shut.

“What-Mai?” You’re launched into a panic, one over the fact that Mai’s face drained of any color at the sound of her dad’s gruff voice and second, it’s Jungkook’s voice.

Her name falls off of his tongue like rapid fire. Before you can say anything he tears into Mai’s bedroom and comes to a screeching halt at the sight of you. He’s breathless, staring at you. All you can manage is to gesture at the bathroom door, “she ran in there.” Just then Mrs. Jeon comes in behind her son, worried eyes finding relief upon seeing you, “oh thank God, please tell me Mai is here,” she sighs.

You nod, confused as ever, “her principal called me because it was an early day and nobody was there to pick her up…” You stop, realizing there was a major miscommunication and Mai was the culprit.

Jungkook’s eyes are fierce, eyebrows in a straight line when he moves in front of the bathroom door, hand rattling the doorknob which is now locked. He makes a fist ready to pound on it when his mom stops him, “you’ll just make it worse,” she speaks calmly, looking back at you. Her hands are trembling when she reaches out to you, you move forward and grab them.

You fumble with words, “She must’ve-”

“We’ve been looking everywhere for the last hour - since when did my kid start scheming - open this door Mai!” Jungkook starts again, his worry fuming out of him.

“Jungkook-ah, please,” Mrs. Jeon pleaded, pushing herself between the door and her son, “the important part is that she is safe…why don’t you go to the kitchen, get some water and just relax for a moment.”

“Mom-”

She shakes her head, “I will talk to her, now go.”

Hesitantly he drags his feet and leaves the room. Your stomach does flips when Mrs. Jeon settles her attention on you, hand resting on the doorknob of Mai’s bathroom.

Please, don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t-

“Will you keep an eye on him, please? I don’t know why but he’s been so worked up lately-” Mrs. Jeon shrugs, unsure of what else to say. You take a deep breath in, nodding as you march out of the room at a snail’s pace.

He’s bent at the waist, face pressed into his palms before he runs them back through his hair- it’s shorter now. He takes a deep breath that is promptly cut off when he sees you standing there, your hands resting on top of the granite countertop. Your fingers twitch with anxiety, palms feeling clammy as your heartbeat picks up again.

He finishes a glass of water, turning around to set it down in the sink. He doesn’t look back at you, resting his hands at the edge of the counter, “thanks for being there,” his voice is barely audible, “you-uh, you don’t have to stay-”

“I’m sorry.”

His shoulders tense, another breath is trapped in his throat at the sound of your voice. It rasps and shakes at the threat of new tears but you hold them back for as long as you can. You aren’t sure how long that will last.

“Jungkook?” You aren’t confident saying his name, unsure if he is seething because of Mai or if it’s really because of you.

He nods before turning around, looking at the top of your head before his gaze shakes over your eyes until he gives up, looking down at the floor.

“I don’t know-” you stop when you hear Mrs. Jeon come down the hallway, she stands next to you and rubs your back, a more relaxed smile on her face.

“She failed to let us know that it was an early day, says she forgot,” Mrs. Jeon shrugs. You and Jungkook look at each other knowing full well that Mai is the mastermind behind this very moment; “but she understands the severity of what she caused and is ready to apologize to you,” his mom looks from her son to you, “and you.”

Jungkook thanks her and walks her to the front door after she hugs you; “oh,” she calls to you gently, “come over for dinner soon? It’s like pulling teeth to get this boy to bring you over, we miss you.”

You just nod, smiling at her before Jungkook closes the door behind her. He rubs the back of his neck, reclaiming his spot across from you. The island provides a safe space between the two of you as you lean your weight against it.

“I’m sorry,” his tone is unsure but you can feel the guilt radiate from him, “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say that,” he sighs, “and so many other things.” He mutters the last part but you manage to hear it.

“I was hurt,” you swallow so hard that even he can hear it, “I’ve had so much pent up - for years…I just lost it.”

“We always talk about everything. I mean, d-don’t you think I would have wanted to know about something that important?” His words are desperate to be heard, steeped in weeks of constant questioning.

“You make it sound like confessing is so easy,” you can’t help the frown that appears, “the risk involved? Because telling you just so I can be rejected doesn’t mean just losing you,” your voice struggles, “I’ll lose Mai too and god, I can’t stomach that.”

He’s looking at you now, directly at you, blinking away what you can only assume are tears.

“I-I didn’t want to risk that so I held it in, I pushed it away until I believed that I didn’t love you anymore but,” you shake your head, “I realized it wasn’t going to go away even after every date you came home from. How I’ve had to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach when you traipse in after you’ve been with another woman, a woman that could never be me - will never be me. I was so mad that I couldn’t be jealous enough or hurt enough by that to stop loving you. I want to stop, but I can’t figure out how-” your words taper off when you notice a trace of a smile spreads across his lips.

“Are you sm-smiling?” Your hands tremble and you’re ready to storm out of there.

He is smiling, it’s barely there but you can see it.

“Can I say something?” His eyebrows lift as he looks at you with hopeful eyes.

You aren’t sure if you should be offended by the crooked smile on his face, the same one that melts your insides and makes your palms sweat. You just nod, ready to take on another offense.

“I love you too.” His voice is shaking.

Everything stops. Your heart launches into your throat and you aren’t sure if you’re breathing anymore. You can feel your mouth fall open, you have to tell yourself to close it. Jungkook just waits.

The confident, suave Jungkook you know all too well is replaced by the loving human you have known even more. The man who masks his worth with fleeting escapades that never last past one night or a weekend at most.

“What? What do you mean,” you stutter, your lungs feel like they are collapsing, “why are you telling me this now?”

Jungkook closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head, “I’m scared too.” He says, opening his eyes to look at you.

He takes you in, the intensity of his stare enough to make you fall back, you can only hope there’s enough strength left in your legs to hold yourself up. Your stomach flips when he makes a step forward to which you take one back.

“You didn’t give me a chance to say anything when it all happened,” his feet move toward you again in one small step, “I wanted to tell you then but rightfully so, you were so upset. Then you were telling me to leave-”

“I didn’t-I-”

“You didn’t want me to reject you?” Jungkook fills in the blanks for you. You nod sheepishly, wringing your hand around your wrist.

The air stills when Jungkook’s fingertips graze your hand, “have I ever rejected you since we’ve known each other?”

Your mind races. Intentionally, no he hasn’t. As much as you dropped everything to be with Mai, Jungkook would do the same. When your car broke down on the freeway late one night? Jungkook was there before the tow truck, a sleeping Mai in the back seat of their car. When you didn’t get the promotion you worked tirelessly to earn? He was at your apartment to pick up the pieces, later that night you and Mai baked cookies together and ended that awful day with a movie - the three of you cuddled up on your couch.

Jungkook has always been there.

“God, all I’ve ever wanted is you,” Jungkook can’t stop himself long enough to allow you to stay in your thoughts. He can practically see your heart thumping out of your chest, he can feel your warm breath stagger out of your mouth. It isn’t until he decides to reach up and touch your neck with a ghostly touch does your breathing still. His touch is so slight it leaves goosebumps all over your skin. You swallow the lump in your throat when his hand grazes your jaw before he cups it around the side of your face. His fingers rub the shell of your ear.

“Do you still want me?” He fills the gap between you with careful steps; you can see the longing in his eyes and you wonder for how long you’ve missed that. With the little space left, it’s almost too difficult to look up at him; “Jungkook I-”

His breath stops at the sound of your voice like he’s ready for the ultimate rejection. His beating heart prepares for more pain.

“Yes,” You’re breathless. You only catch a second of the smile spreading his cheeks before he pulls you in. Muscular arms wrapping tightly around you but he’s careful to leave breathing room. All too naturally, your face nuzzles in his shoulder, breathing in his scent as your arms fold around his waist.

His nose presses into your hair, cheek warm against your temple.

“Wait,” you push your hands against his chest to create space. He grabs your hands to keep you close, “are you serious?”

He chuckles, nodding, his warm breath casts over your face, putting you deeper under his spell.

“After all of that happened, I didn’t think I had a chance. I didn’t think it could even be a possibility before,” his eyes look uncertain now, “you know too much about me,” he runs his fingers back through your hair, “but you are everything to me…you’ve loved Mai without me even asking you to,” he sighs, his expressions always more serious than most but it’s the Jungkook you know. Innocent eyes staring down at you, “watching you with Mai these last seven years has been the highlight of my life, but it was torturous too-”

You press your face into his chest, chuckling while tears overcome you, “torturous?”

Jungkook picks your chin up and kisses your tears away; “you were always in arm's reach but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, I just settled to silently love you.”

You shake your head, allowing Jungkook to wipe each tear away with his thumb.

“I was afraid it would confuse Mai. She’s my world too, you know?” You whisper.

“She’s too wise for her age,” he brushes his nose against yours, wearing the smile that exposes his bunny teeth, “trust me, she knows enough that we should be a family.”

His eyes search for an answer in yours, you don’t have to ask for the question running through his mind when his gaze sweeps over your lips. The only thing that forces him to stop is when he chuckles low.

“What?” You smile, head floating in ecstasy, you think you could pass out.

“I guess that stupid fortune was true.”

You shake your head with a small smile. He fidgets, “I love you-” he manages to get out before your lips press against his. They are slightly chapped but so soft as they mold to yours. You can feel your skin growing hot when his tongue rubs against your bottom lip. It takes everything in you not to burst right then and there, fallen victim to his tender kiss.

“I love you,” you stop to say. His slight pout at the break in your kiss makes you chuckle.

Jungkook lets his chin rest against your shoulder when he pulls you in, the two of you staying that way for a little bit. If not for the quiet pad of Mai’s bare feet tapping down the hallway, he thinks he could have stayed that way with you all night.

His eyes brighten when he sees Mai stoke around the corner, saucer-sized eyes spying on the two of you.

“Come here bean,” Jungkook’s voice surprises you, and you pull away as Mai runs into the kitchen. Before you can say anything to her, she wraps her arms around your middle, nose pressed into your hip. She muffles something.

You sniffle, “I can’t understand you,” you giggle, grabbing her chin in a tender grip so she can look up at you. Her eyes are wet again, resting her chin against your stomach, “I said, I love you.” Mai whispers like her dad can’t hear her. Her cheeks grow red and she immediately shies away.

Jungkook rubs her back with a loving stroke when he hears your breath catch in your throat. You kneel and take Mai’s face in your hands, “I love you so much, bean.”

“Enough to stick around forever?” She laughs nervously, swallowing back a soft cry, “because it was horrible without you, dad doesn’t know how to build forts like you do.” Jungkook laughs, nudging Mai’s back with his knee.

There’s a gentle mending in your heart when she says that, you stroke her hair and laugh with glistening eyes, “I promise I’ll build forts with you until we’re both too big to fit in them, and even then kid, you can’t ever get rid of me.” You are struggling to hold back the ugliest of sobs.

Mai doesn’t answer, she only falls forward into your arms, nuzzling her face into your hair. Jungkook joins you, resting on his knees to wrap the two of you into his hold.

You pull your face away enough so you can look at him. He kisses you before mouthing the words you’ve so yearned to hear him say; “I love you.”

#jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #dad!jungkook #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #i can't wait...series by serendipitous-seven #my reposts from moon-write

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bad-and-drawn-that-way · 1 month

Note

can I request a Vox x reader fluff where they've both been struggling to come to terms with their feelings but when something (you can decide what) happens and the reader gets hurt really badly, he confesses

ANOOOOOOOOON!! YOU. GET ME. SO GOOD. HOW DARE YOU HIT ME UP WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES?? Literally, give this trope to me as many times as yall want. I'll find a million ways to write it. Reap the repercussions and enjoy the food you beautiful homie, you!

Star-Crossed Idiots [Vox x Reader]

Vox refused to believe it.

Velvette had been the one to call him out on his shit first. Unlike him, she had a semblance of emotional maturity that meant she was perceptive to shit that flew over his head entirely. While he didn't understand why he found himself going out of his way to spend time with you, Velvette figured it out in a matter of days. The very fact that he had kept his involvement with you a secret was suspicious in itself. Not to mention, Velvette realized before he did. When she discovered his feelings for you, she found it hilarious. And a touch pathetic.

"I mean really Vox, you have zero reason to even know them," Velvette scoffed as she sipped on the frappuccino he had used to buy her silence. Things were already messy enough with Valentino. He had no intention of the pissy moth hearing of this until whatever this was, was sorted.

"Yet you constantly check in on their phone activity, go out of your way to run into them on the streets, and now they're even working for you just because your needy ass wanted an excuse to see them on the regular," Velvette listed as Vox did everything in his power to avoid eye contact.

Vox buried his face in his hands and groaned while Velvette rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't it just be easier to ask them out at this point? I love you, darling, but you're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be."

"No," Vox growled as he looked up and shot her a warning glare. "Do you have any idea how much shit we'd be in if I just started dating some random sinner? And that's only if the feelings were mutual."

He ran his hand down his screen with a huff, turning to look at Vark swimming up to the glass. While Vox had originally had the aquarium extend to the meeting rooms for a sense of looming intimidation, he'd found quite a bit of comfort in his sharks being able to follow him through the tower.

"Look, for all we know, I'm just pent up," Vox tried to reason. It sounded fake, even to his own ears, but he was in denial. There was too much bullshit he'd have to face if he really was as whipped for you as he feared. "It's been a shit couple of weeks. I probably just need a break and a good fuck and this will all be something you make fun of me about next week for ever entertaining in the first place."

Velvette shook her head, sighing as she pulled out her phone and started to scroll.

"Whatever you say."

---

You refused to believe it.

There was no way you fell for Vox of all people. For starters, you told yourself you'd never love again! Every time you'd tried, disaster followed. It didn't help that any potential match was one to be made in Hell. Granted, you knew not everyone in Hell was bad. There were a lot of sinners who you firmly believed belonged in Heaven or some sort of equivalent.

But even so... Vox was definitely not one of those people. Not that that was the important part or truly mattered. You were no saint either, you were also in Hell.

"I don't see what the big deal is toots," Angel Dust sighed as he watched you give Fat Nuggets attention to keep your hands busy through the stress. "There are worse people to have a crush on."

"There's better too," you whined. "I'd rather not have a crush at all," you muttered bitterly as your hand continued the soothing action of petting the teacup pig.

You'd originally been on the production team for one of Valentino's studios. That was how you befriended Angel Dust and why Vox scooped you out from under Valentino to work on his own set. He told you it was because he valued someone who had an ear for audio balance, but Angel said he'd only offered you the new job after the overlord walked in on the cameraman flirting with you right before.

"Why not just fuck the guy and see if it's a matter of heart or a matter of-"

You laughed as you covered Angel's mouth with one of your hands. "Okay, okay! Don't... finish that sentence. I won't let you taint poor little Fat Nuggets ears with your porn language."

Angel snickered as you pulled back your hand. "But you see my point, right?"

"I do," you sighed. "But that's... not really my style. If anything, I think it'd just hurt to see him after something like a casual fling. The idea of him wanting my body, but not me? Yeah no. I'll choose the healthier option of repressing my feelings, thank you very much."

"I'm telling ya, he's into you," Angel groaned. "I've seen the way he is with people he thinks are hot. I've seen him with Val. You're different, toots."

You smile sadly at Angel and put Fat Nuggets down on the bed. It was clear you didn't believe Angel and he was on the verge of ripping out his fur because of it. The two of you were so unbelievably oblivious it was gonna kill him again. "Thanks, Angie but... it's okay. Really, it is."

He sighed and eventually let it go. The two of you talked about other things for a while before Charlie peeked into his room to ask for your help on something. Once you were gone, he rolled over the conversation in his mind as he tried to think of ways to get the ball rolling on your love life.

Angel shook his head with a sigh and pulled out his phone. He scooped up Fat Nuggets and flopped back in his bed as the dialing sound filled the room. The line connected, and he was quick to the point.

"Hey, I know we don't really talk, but I've got an idea."

---

"Really Angie, I don't think this was necessary," You grumbled as you tugged down on the all-too-short skirt of the outfit he'd squeezed you into.

"Oh, but it was and it is," Angel grinned as he took your hand and twirled you in the entry hall to the club. You rolled your eyes and let him spin you in jest. He'd asked you to come with him to one of your old coworkers' birthday parties.

Apparently, one of the rules was to dress like you'd get hired to dance at the club. At least, that had been Angel's excuse when you questioned why he was hovering over you as he did your hair, and makeup and held up several outfits to your body that you doubted would fit.

Despite the discomfort of getting all dolled up, you were happy he'd invited you. It had been a while since you saw your old friends. That being said, it would have been more fun if you weren't tugging down your skirt every two minutes. You weren't the only one hyperaware of how much of your skin was exposed. Nor of the way the fabric hugged your frame tightly. Several of your old friends had suggested you return to the studio with a job in front of the camera instead of in the shadows of the set.

You'd been having a good time, sticking to the corner of the room with some of your old friends to watch the drinks while the rest were out on the dance floor. One of the drunker sinners of the bunch accidentally knocked over some of the drinks while she'd been telling a story about the recent cam show she did. You volunteered to go get more napkins from the bar. One of your friends came with you to reorder the ruined drinks and the two of you had nearly pushed your way through the crowd when you heard a familiar voice call your name through the noise.

Vox didn't have to fight through the crowd the way you had. The second sinners saw the glow of his screen, they were quick to move out of his path. Your friend touched your arm, pulling your attention away from the approaching overlord. They winked at you and told you they had the drink issue handled.

When you turned, you caught Vox's screen flickering from pink to his usual blue. You had never seen any color other than the "You don't get to sleep" blue light, so you assumed it was just a trick of the flashing dance lights above.

"I didn't think you'd be here," you say to break the tension. This wasn't the first time you'd seen him in casual wear, nor was it the first time you'd seen Vox since realizing you had feelings for him. Even so, your heart was beating hard just from the sight of him.

"A-Ah yeah, well," Vox stammered as the music blared through the busy room. "Velvette wanted to drop by. She said something about wanting to check the place out as a potential venue for an upcoming show."

"Just the two of you?" you ask, perking up slightly.

"It was supposed to be," Vox chuckled dryly. His grin was tired and forced as he looked to the side and scanned the room. "Valentino heard we were coming here and tagged along. I don't know why, but Velvette got really heated about it. Something about him fucking up her plans..."

"Oh," your shoulders drop. You cringe internally, wishing you could take back the bitterness in your voice. You hoped it wasn't too obvious, but the way Vox was looking at you like you were some sort of a puzzle told you everything you needed to know.

You actually loved Velevette. She was sassy and cutthroat but had a kind side to her as well. Valentino however... He'd been the source of a lot of suffering for the people you cared about. While the more obvious examples of Angel Dust returning to the hotel looking like shit came to mind, so did the times you had to comfort Vox after being yanked this way and that by the moth emotionally.

That was actually how you'd realized you'd come to care for him as deeply as you do. He'd been standing alone in one of the meeting rooms with a distant look on his face. When you found him and asked him if he was okay, he tried to play it off with his usual bravado, but couldn't. He never cried in front of you, he only vented his frustrations about Valentino and you listened. You sympathized. And eventually, you found yourself wishing you could be the one to treat him better.

Vox opened his mouth to say something, only for Valentino to slip his arm around his shoulder, appearing out of nowhere from the crowd.

"There you are baby," he purred, his fingers immediately slipping under the collar of Vox's vest. You resisted the urge to gag as Valentino took a long puff from his pipe and blew the majority of the smoke in your direction.

"I was wondering where you up and fucked off to," Valentino grinned as he leaned down to nip drunkenly at Vox's shoulder. "You left me all alone with our little fashionista, "Valentino scoffed. "She's in such a bitchy mood."

If it wasn't bad enough that Valentino was practically drooling all over Vox in front of you and pretending you weren't there, insult was only added to injury when Valentino grinned at you with sharp teeth when he called Velvette bitchy.

"Come back and unwind with me," Valentino hummed as he started to kiss up Vox's neck. "Some of my best toys are here tonight. Don't you want to play?"

If Vox had any doubt he was in Hell before, he had every reason to confirm the fact at this moment. He'd fallen out of love with Valentino, but the almost... the almost killed him. To make it worse, he was completely frozen, letting it all happen in front of you. He made no moves to stop Valentino, he made no moves to reciprocate. He simply froze.

Unable to watch any longer as Vox continued to fall for the very same game of tug-o-war he told you he was done with, you bite your lip and turn on your heel. You can't tell if you heard Vox say your name or if it was just a trick of the crowd.

"Anyone else gonna drink this?" You asked as you rejoined your friends still at the table and pointed to one of the more full glasses left on the table. When your friends who were sober enough to answer said you could go for it, you tossed it back in one shot.

You griped to one of your friends who had stayed behind to watch over those too drunk to make good choices. The two of you had been having a damn good venting session about how stupid you felt your feelings were when the entire bar swayed. Your words slurred as your body grew heavy.

One second you were sitting up, wondering why your friend looked so concerned. The next second there was a sharp pain against the temple of your forehead, followed by a heavy thunk, more pain, and darkness.

---

Vox had been desperately searching the dance floor for any sign of you. He'd torn away from Valentino and the moth hadn't bothered to follow. Vox would... handle that another time. For as much as he denied his feelings for you this morning, the second he saw the hurt look in your eyes he knew he had to tell you. There was no way he could ignore the sharp lurch in his chest at the sight of you.

He didn't know what it meant. He couldn't tell if it was just a sense of betrayal after he'd been so open with you about Valentino or if it was something more. Every time he found himself wanting to talk about his true feelings on anything, he wanted to talk to you. Every time he had a rare second alone in the middle of the night, the only touch he craved was yours. Yes, he had a history with Valentino, but he didn't actively want that. He wanted you.

He finally spotted you across the room, sitting at a table with one of the whores he'd seen at Valentino's studio and getting way too close to them for his liking. He made his way through the drunken idiots who were too far gone to notice him, keeping his eyes on you as you started swaying dangerously.

You tried to reach down for something on the table and Vox swore as you lost what little balance you had and fell over. Someone got in his way so he didn't see the impact, but somehow he heard it. Through all the noise he heard the sharp thud and the panicked swearing of the person you were with after.

Vox was suddenly shoving every idiot out of his way, ignoring their shouts as he ran into the small clearing and found you on the ground with blood seeping from your head. He was immediately on his knees, scooping you up as the sinner who'd been with you started freaking out.

The only thing Vox could hear was a high-pitched whine as he pulled you to him and tried to frantically find where you were bleeding from. Half of your head was dripping with blood and he vaguely registered your friend saying your head had hit the edge of the table.

"Just s̴̢̃ḧ̸̺u̸͇͋t̷̯͂ ̷̬̂u̶͖̓p̵̳͗!̶̳͌," Vox snapped as he whipped up and affixed the sinner with a violent glare. He didn't care that half the club was looking at him. For once, he didn't care that he'd made a scene. Logically, he knew something like this couldn't kill you, you were all already dead. But his hands were shaking violently and the buzzing in his head was getting louder because you weren't moving.

Everything around him flashed with bright blue light as he held you close and teleported out of the club without even thinking about it. The two of you reappeared in his room back at the tower and he let out a shaky breath as he placed you down on his bed.

Not knowing what to do, Vox quickly crossed the room and threw his bathroom door open as he searched for anything he could use to stop the bleeding. He was muttering furiously as he nearly ripped the hinges off the cupboard under the sink looking for anything he could use.

Vox let out a loud, angry shout as his body kept glitching. His movements were jerky and he'd hit his head on the sink twice now. Just as he was about to have an absolute meltdown, he heard you groan from his bedroom. His head snapped up and he turned around at the sound of your voice so fast he was surprised he didn't snap his own neck.

Vox yanked a towel off of the wall and scrambled across the nylon tiles as he fell into his room with all the grace of a CEO that he clearly had. He swore, picking himself up and coming over to you as you sat up and clutched your head.

"Shit, that stuff was stronger than I thought," you groaned. "Note to self, don't just chug random alcohol at the club." you tried to laugh, only to hiss as the pain in your head doubled down due to the movement.

"You're a fucking idiot," Vox sighed as he sat down next to you and lifted the towel to your head.

You flinched at the contact, and Vox grabbed your wrist with his free hand. "Stay still," he frowned, pressing again on the wound. "You're still bleeding."

Trying not to do more damage, you stay as still as possible while he tries to stop the bleeding. The silence is heavy between the two of you before you mumble quietly.

"Sorry..."

Vox blinks, frowning down at you. "For what?"

You avoid eye contact the best you can given your current condition and fist your hands on your thighs nervously. "For acting like an idiot. You've told me about how hard it is with Valentino. I should've said or done something and not have gotten..."

"Upset?" Vox finished for you quietly. You flinched, unable to read the tone in his voice. He sighed and slowly lifted the towel from your head, before lowering it. "Why did you?"

"It's stupid," you bite your lip, hand drifting up curiously to see how bad the wound is. Before your fingers could brush against your hair, Vox's hand grabbed your wrists again.

"Try me."

You couldn't say if it was due to the pain, blood loss, or alcohol in your system, but the moment you finally gathered the courage to look him in the eye, you said fuck it. Vox gasped as you surged forward and pressed your lips against his. He'd barely had a chance to process the feeling before you were already turned away from him and rambling some bullshit about how you knew he didn't feel the same.

He took your hand, ignoring the anxious nonsense flowing from your mouth, and lifted it to his lips. Your speech died on your tongue as his lips pressed against the palm of your hand.

"Do you have any idea how much you've been on my mind?" He growled softly, his lips trailing up your arm slowly as he practically worshiped your skin.

If it wasn't for the fact that your blood was still on his hands, Vox would have been so much more rough with you. He would have grabbed you and crashed his lips against yours. He would have torn the fabric that hugged your curves so tightly off of your body and shown you just how badly he'd been needing you.

Instead, he made do with tracing his claw under your chin and guiding you to face him properly. His eyes searched yours for any doubt or sign that you'd acted purely on adrenaline and not something more. When your breath hitched and your cheeks flushed, he knew. As he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, as his arms snaked down and pulled you flush against him like you'd break, as your fingers found a home in his vest he knew.

You wanted him too. You fell for him too. This wasn't a game of "do they, don't they" like the one he'd played with Valentino for so fucking long.

His breath hitched, his arms tightening around you before he slowly pulled back and laughed breathlessly.

"Does this mean we're dating?" you ask, smiling at him like he'd hung the stars in the sky.

"God that sounds cheesy," Vox grimaced. The phrase felt so... high school bullshit. But it wasn't wrong. He wanted that. He really wanted that with you.

He reached down, hesitating before his clawed hand gently covered yours. "But yeah... I guess it does," he smiled softer than you'd ever seen before.

#vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #god this is probably so messy #i'll edit it later #come get your food im going to bed

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urdepressedslut · 10 months

Text

You’re Mine, Sunshine ❝part six❞

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky receives a morning visit from Steve, with the news about what was in the box. Bucky continues to think about what he should do. Should he tell you the truth about your stalker?

♡ Warnings: language, angst, fluff, stalking, hints to death threats, mentions of parent death

Part 7

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au

Loud knocking had woken Bucky up from his slumber— his sagging body in the chair next to your bed, straightening.

He felt his back crack, along with his neck— the seat wasn’t the most comfortable. But there was no way he was going to leave you last night— not after you had asked him to stay.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, giving you a quick look— smiling at your sprawled out form on the bed.

He made it down the hall and down the stairs, checking through the frosty glass before opening. His body was tense— on alert for a possible intruder. It was only Steve. Swinging the door open, he was met with a tight lipped smile— one that didn’t mean good news in his opinion.

“Good morning Buck. Sorry to wake you up, but this is pretty important.” Steve told him, and Bucky rolled his neck around— already feeling stressed for the day.

“Morning— yeah come on in.” He stepped aside to allow Steve to enter.

Steve walked in and shut the door, securing the locks before the two headed towards the living room to sit down.

“So what’s going on?” Bucky asked, running a hand through his hair.

Steve took a deep breath, rubbing his temples in preparation. That didn’t make Bucky feel better. Truthfully— he’s rather never see Steve too often. He felt like it only meant bad news when he saw him. Or maybe he just wanted it to be you two instead.

“Well trust me, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.” Steve added, and Bucky nodded for him to continue. “It’s about the box.”

At first Bucky was confused— having forgot about it completely after yesterdays events. But now with the mention from Steve, his mind spiraled. He dreaded to find out what was in the box— but he also was curious.

“What was in it?” Bucky asked the golden question.

Steve looked down nervously to the floor, taking a second to glance around— making sure you weren’t around.

“If I tell you— it’s not to be repeated to her.” Steve warned, and Bucky scoffed and shook his head.

Here we go again— the big secret that is being kept from you. When in reality, you deserve to know out of everyone. It was about you— a threat to your life.

“Steve this is bullshit— she deserves to know someone is stalking her for fucks sake!” Bucky complained, frustrated that he had to keep something from you.

The more he got to know you better— the more he truly believed you didn’t deserve this. He blamed his defensive behavior on the fact that he was your bodyguard— nothing more.

“We have orders from the boss Buck— I would think you’d understand that.” Steve pointed out.

“Yeah well, it’s not right. She deserves to know. She deserves better.” Bucky defended you, running his hand through his hair stressfully.

Steve gave Bucky a once over, looking at him like he had five heads. Steve was confused at his change in behavior.

“Seriously Steve, what was in the box?” Bucky changed the topic, clearly still frustrated but trying to focus on business.

Steve dismissed his confusion for now and got serious again. Doing another quick glance to make sure you weren’t listening in on the conversation.

“There was another note,” Steve started, “It read wonder if you’d squeal like a pig just like your mother.”

Bucky’s stomach knotted up at the sinister message, the way he was glad you didn’t know about this one. This was something that wouldn’t just shock you— it would disturb you to no ends— haunt you to your core.

“And along with the note was her Mother’s necklace.” Steve finished, and Bucky’s eyes went wide.

This wasn’t just a stalker— this was someone with bad intentions. Someone who already had blood on their hands possibly. Someone who was capable of sick shit.

“The necklace was a locket of her and (Y/n).” He explained. “We still aren’t sure if this has something to do with Pierce— or if this is just a secret admirer.”

Bucky bit the inside of his lip in thought, the whole situation making him uncomfortable— for you. He felt even more protective every time Steve came with bad news. For a second his protective side wasn’t coming out because it was his job— it was coming from the heart.

“She needs to know about this shit.” Bucky muttered lowly.

Steve scoffed, leaning back in his seat. An entertained expression etched his face.

“What happened to you Buck?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, glaring at Steve for a moment before he spoke. His voice defensive— annoyed.

“What are you talking about?”

He wondered for a quick second— was Steve always this annoying?

Steve scoffed again, rubbing a hand down his face, but he wore a shit eating grin, a knowing look sporting his face.

“Miss perfect rubbing off on you?” Steve chuckled, watching Bucky furrow his brows in confusion.

Bucky tried to ignore the anger that built up inside at the nickname Steve gave you.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Bucky pushed.

“Buck— you’re soft man. Quit defending her, the things her dad has said— you need to be watching your back man.” Steve warned and it only had Bucky boiling with anger.

Bucky was sick and tired of this judgement that everyone held against you— this persona that didn’t even exist. You were wrongly labeled as a monster. Bucky just knew it wasn’t fair, especially when you were as sweet as pie. The farthest thing from a monster. He had also seen a side of you— a sensitive side of you that made him melt even more. He saw through the cracks of your bubbly personality— the side that was secretly broken. It made him hurt, and in a way he related to you.

Another part of him hated the way you were able to break down his walls. He had built them for a reason, protecting his heart from the pain the world could cause. Then here you were, skipping right into his life— turning the walls to dust with just the touch of your finger. He felt indifferent about it all— hating it and loving it.

“You don’t know her— so I’d quit talking about her like you do.” Bucky warned, the air now thick with tension as Steve huffed in his seat.

“She could be tricking you Buck. It’s still early— you only just met her.” Steve argued.

“Again— I know her better than you ever will.”

Steve scoffed again, waving his hands towards him.

“Look at you, defending her,” Steve laughed, “You’re her bodyguard— not her boyfriend.”

With that last sentence, Bucky’s jaw was clenched painfully in anger. His hands fisted uncomfortably— his knuckles whitening.

“Thanks for the info— you need to leave.” He tried to say calmly. Although his face was red with frustration.

Steve shook his head, a flash of emotion that looked apologetic passing through his features.

“I’ll see you later.” Steve said lastly, standing up to exit.

Bucky stayed silent, with angry eyes— watching Steve walk to the door until he left. As soon as the door closing sounded, he relaxed in his seat. The air seemed to be breathable now that he was gone. He liked it when it was just you two. Things seemed easier, everything felt lighter.

You’re her bodyguard, not her boyfriend.

The words shouldn’t of rang through his head— but they did. Over and over and over. He was confused at his reaction, but wouldn’t of reacted any other way. Things would be different if you were everything your Father said you were— but you were the opposite. He knew parts of you now and was learning more about you everyday. He had to react like that, if your Father wasn’t going to defend you— he’d do it.

His being craved the lightness your brought— the peaceful aura you’d leave when you were in the room. He found himself wanting to head back upstairs to you— needing to drown himself in the comfort that was your company.

He decided to do just that— headed upstairs to find you. Without him knowing it, he walked up the stairs and down the hall— all with a gentle smile on his lips.

He opened the door slowly, peeking in to make sure you were still asleep— afraid that his knocking would wake you. He was shocked to find you sitting up, legs hanging over the bed.

The door was open, but your back was to him and he knocked anyway— alerting you he was coming in.

“Hey, is it okay to come in?” He asked, his tone soft now versus the harshness from talking with Steve.

You didn’t jump like you usually did, instead you turned slowly and sent him a tired smile. Your hair was messy from sleep, and your eyes were slightly puffy from just waking up. Bucky had to bite his lip to stop the smile from approaching.

God— you looked like… an angel.

You nodded for him to come in, watching his bulky form walk towards the bed.

“You sleep okay?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

He was suddenly feeling nervous around you, and he wasn’t sure if it was Steve’s comment that kept repeating in his brain.

“Yeah, I did.” You told him shyly, your cheeks heating up.

He nodded and avoided eye contact as the silence was killing him. He had so much to say, yet there was so much stopping him from doing so. He’d try again later when he didn’t feel so stressed out.

“Listen uh…” He started, sitting on the edge of your bed, a professional distance away from you, “I’m sorry about last night— I shouldn’t of said what I did.”

You grew serious but still kept a small smile etched on your face.

“James, it’s okay— you don’t have to keep apologizing.” You reassured him, waving it off like no big deal.

Truthfully, you weren’t upset with him.

He shook his head, his face flushed in embarrassment.

“Yeah I do. You’ve been…” He trailed off, wondering if he should go there, “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me since we met, and I’ve been… well— me.”

He dropped his head in shame, missing the way you were looking at him in awe.

“I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a dick most of the time— I promise I’ll try to be better.” He told you, and you scooted closer and placed your hand on his arm.

“James, I don’t want you to feel like you have to change yourself for me.” You told him.

Bucky felt hot under your touch, but otherwise ignored the feeling and totally disagreed with your statement. Of course he had to change— he wanted to change. He wanted to be a better version of himself for you. He hated that he did, but he couldn’t control it.

“I just wanna make it up to you, you know— for being a dick.” He repeated and you playfully glared at him.

“James if you tell me you’re being a dick one more time— I’m gonna slap you.” You threatened playfully.

Your words sounded goofy coming out of your mouth, but you didn’t expect the reaction from Bucky. His head leaned back and he let out a hearty laugh— one that was echoing off your room walls. You stared at him in shock— the bear was laughing? The bear was smiling like the cheshire cat. You were speechless.

Bucky wiped his eyes, noticing your shocked expression and smiled even more.

“Doll— I’d like to see you slap me. In fact, I’d like to see you beat someone up.” He pushed, the scenario playing through his head— it was adorable.

You shook your head, ridding yourself of the shock that had paralyzed you for a moment.

“Hey! I could hurt somebody if I wanted to!” You argued, crossing your arms in offense. But the corners of your mouth were lifting— his smile contagious.

Bucky had to hold back the snort that tried to escape, and just gazed down at you with a grin.

“Whatever you say doll.” He teased, loving the way you kept blushing at the nickname.

Why else do you think he keeps saying it?

You both sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, both of you content with each other’s presence. Bucky lost his smile just lightly before he spoke again.

“So— I wanna make it up to you,” He started, grabbing your attention, “How about we go get the baking supplies you wanted?”

You beamed at his suggestion, nodding you head excitedly.

“That sounds perfect, thanks James.” You said softly, his gaze giving you butterflies.

He nodded his head in a welcome, and stood up to head out of the room— to give you some space. You watched him leave with a look you had never sported before.

Something within you longed for him, even when you dismissed the thought— it’d come back stronger. You couldn’t starve yourself for the affection that Bucky had provided. Maybe you’d think differently about his suggestion, not thinking twice about it. But after witnessing Bucky defending you— your heart sped up at the memory.

You knew you shouldn’t of spied— but you had heard raised voices from the hallway and grew concerned.

Earlier…

You had cracked your eyes open, just enough to see Bucky’s back retreat from the room. The way his steps were sluggish— sleep still consuming him.

He stayed. Just as you had asked him to.

You opened your eyes all the way and felt the corners of your mouth lifting. Butterflies started to swarm your tummy. You had just woken up and he was already giving you butterflies. He had your day starting good.

While getting lost in a daydream about him— you decided to follow him. You weren’t sure what you even wanted to say to him— if there was anything to say. You just wanted to be around him, even if no words were spoken.

Sneaking down the stairs, you slowed your steps. Questing your breathing when you heard the sound of two voices. They sounded like they were arguing.

“What are you talking about?”

Bucky had sounded annoyed, the way his voice was edgier around this Steve guy.

“Ms. Perfect rubbing off on you?” The man called Steve laughed.

You couldn’t help the hurt that came to you from those words. You weren’t trying to be perfect— bell you knew you’d never be. You weren’t sure what you had done to earn that label. But you hoped it was some misunderstanding.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Bucky boomed, and you were sure if he was spitting those words at you— you’d be intimidated. His voice was thick, heavy with anger.

“Buck— you’re soft man. Quit defending her, the things her dad has said— you need to be watching your back man.”

The mention of your dad had you biting your lip, willing the tears to stay away. Of course he had something to do with this. You wondered like always— what you had done to make him hate you. You loved him and only ever talked highly of him.

“You don’t know her— so I’d quit talking about her like you do.” Bucky defended you, his voice laced with venom towards Steve.

Your heart sped up at the way he was defending you, no one had ever had your back like that. After your Mother passed, it was just you. You unfortunately learned that the only person that had your back— was you. It was depressing but that’s how things were. That was until you heard Bucky.

“She could be tricking you Buck. It’s still early— you only just met her.” Steve pointed out.

You opened your mouth in shock, confused and hurt with the way he spoke about you. You were talked about like you were a disease and nothing more. What did you ever do to him?

“Again— I know her better than you ever will.” Bucky hissed, the venom unfamiliar— at least with you.

“Look at you, defending her,” Steve laughed, “You’re her bodyguard— not her boyfriend.”

You were again— shocked at Steve’s words. But you forgot your own reaction and slightly peeked around the corner— trying to see Bucky’s reaction. From the thick silence that covered the room, you knew his reaction couldn’t be good.

Just barely you could see the side of Bucky’s face, and one of his arms. His metal one that is. You could see the metal fist shake, the way his jaw was clenched so tightly it looked uncomfortable.

“Thanks for the info but— you need to leave.” You heard Bucky try to say calmly.

You could easily tell that he was still angry, but was trying his hardest to hide it. You wanted to know why that sentence out of them all bothered him the most. Just the random theories flying through your head had you blushing.

You had heard enough, deciding to tip toe back up the stairs— and wait patiently for Bucky to come back up. Should you tell him you had listened in?

You found yourself stuck in an internal debate, until you had heard soft knocking come from your door. You knew who it was. You weren’t sure why you felt shy all of a sudden— Bucky had clearly seen you at a pretty low point. You knew you should tell him you were spying— but found yourself backing down in the moment.

Bucky knew it wasn’t smart to be out while someone was threatening you. But he’d be damned if he let anything happen to you. He’d kill anyone without hesitation if they tried anything towards you.

In fact, he’d cleared out the entire grocery store just for you. Letting you roam freely through the place, in search of your ingredients without having to worry. Instead he kept his eyes trained on the glass doors at the front. He didn’t know if he has the power to request such a thing— but had done it anyway.

He didn’t miss the glaring men across the street, who obviously worked for your Father. They sent him judgmental stares— most likely sending a message to Pierce. Bucky knew he should be worried about his position after going against Pierce’s orders. But he was starting not to care. You were deserving of so much more than what your Father had given you.

He rolled his eyes, breaking his staring contest with the men— focusing back on your humming throughout the isles. The music was muted in the store, leaving the sweet sound of your voice echoing throughout the space.

He wasn’t sure if it was paranoia— but everyone that passed by the window and glanced into the store. He immediately labeled them as the stalker. He wasn’t sure if it was his brain desperately wanting to find them— or if he was just worried about you. He obviously was taking a risk bringing you out, but you didn’t deserve to be locked up.

He knew he needed to tell you, and with his brain going back in fourth in a stressful debate— he had found his answer.

He was going to tell you.

“Okay, I got everything. Ready to go?” You announced, pushing your cart towards the only cashier in the store.

Bucky glanced back at you, giving you a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was still lost in his internal debate.

With a nod of his head, you headed towards the checkout. Bucky watched as you talked politely with the cashier— causing them to smile widely at whatever you were saying.

Truthfully he was too stuck in his head to hear what you were saying, but he wasn’t surprised to find you making someone beam. You seemed to have that effect on people.

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lazycats-stuff · 1 year

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Hello, hope you are having a good day/night?

I was wondering if I could request a Batfam x Male reader who is Bruce's son (adopted or biological your choice) while out on patrol he gets either attcked by a strangely large dog or some villain injects him with some weird serum? He ends up with a super high fever as his body makes adjustments/changes (example his senses suddenly and painfully heightening) he's becoming a werewolf. Once reader is past the fever/beginning of the curse and are going back to normal life things are drastically different they feel more agitated, aggressive, stronger, restless and oh god the fear what has happened to them? What if they hurt someone they love? (You can decide if their eyes, teeth, claws change with moods)

I can and I will. Oh, this felt so amazing to write. And also a different gif for this oneshot. Maybe I will even write a part 2, who knows?

Summary: (Y/N) didn't believe in vampires and werewolves, but with from a bite of a big dog, he is forced to think about it.

Warnings: Mentions of rabies, blood, (Y/N) being sick and in pain, Bruce being in pain too, shifting, Bruce being scared for his son, medical inaccuracies, swearing

(Y/N) huffed as he watched over the city. Jason and him were perched over the roof, simply resting and eating the snacks from their pockets.

" What is the huffing for? " Jason asked his younger brother. He could tell that something was bothering (Y/N).

" I'm just worried about school, that's all. "

" School is a pretty wide term, you need to narrow it down. "

(Y/N) looked away for a moment, then blushed.

" There is someone then, " Jason said with a teasing tone, patting (Y/N)'s shoulder.

" If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else. If you do, sleep with one eye open. " (Y/N) threatened Jason.

" My lips are sealed. "

" Pinky promise? " (Y/N) asked, knowing that Jason was weak on that promise. He extended his pinky to Jason, who curled his pinky with (Y/N)'s.

" Pinky promise. " (Y/N) nodded and then they let go.

" Okay, so there is this guy... I'm sure he is straight, but he is so nice to me. And he didn't become my friend because I'm Bruce Wayne's son. "

Jason nodded. (Y/N) was good at reading people and their intentions. He was just a natural at it, didn't need much pointers.

" So the problem is that you think he is straight? "

" Yes. But I'm not sure. There is no evidence that he has been with guys. Just girls. And it makes me feel frustrated. "

" I think that we are all allergic to this, but how about talking? " Jason proposed the idea, making (Y/N) roll his eyes.

" Okay, normal conversation is out of the question. "

" And since when you are the one to talk about communication? "

" Since you are the most normal one. We all have high hopes for you. " Jason responded, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

(Y/N) crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head.

" Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with this family. I truly do. "

Jason cackled. (Y/N) huffed and looked down once he heard sounds of struggle down there.

" You got it little bat? "

" Yup. " (Y/N) responded, jumping down, making his landing softer with his cape.

The alley was dark and he couldn't really see into it. He froze once he heard growling. What the hell? He didn't even had the time to blink before a big dog jumped at him. He fell down with the dog, who was biting his arm. He could hear his gauntlet breaking. He tried to push the dog, but he grunted once he felt the sharp teeth breaking his skin. He managed to kick the dog away and the animal ran.

(Y/N) was breathing heavily from the excitement and the adrenaline running through him. He shakily brought his uninjured arm to his ear.

" B? "

" (Y/N) what's wrong? "

" I just got bit by a dog... He broke my gauntlet. "

" Shit. Hang on, I have your location. I will call Alfred. Stay put okay? "

" Okay... "

Jason landed next to (Y/N), freaked out of his mind.

" A dog bit you?! "

(Y/N) nodded, feeling slightly dizzy. Does he has rabies? Is he going to die by rabies? He has heard about the symptoms of the this disease and it was fatal. There were rare cases when somebody made it out alive from rabies.

" Okay, lean on the wall, you don't look steady. "

" Hood, what if I have rabies? "

" Don't think like that, be more positive. "

(Y/N) laughed. Jason was slightly worried about (Y/N). More precisely, he was worried about (Y/N)'s sanity. Laughing in this situations was not really normal.

" Thank God you are here old man. Get him tested for rabies immediately. "

" Will do. I will call Superman to help you with patrol. "

Jason nodded, watching with worry as Bruce picked up his son, knowing that (Y/N) will be to unstable to walk. He put him in the car, before turning to Jason.

" Tell your brothers the plan. "

" Let me know how the test turns out. "

Batman nodded and got into the Batmobile. (Y/N) had managed to stop the bleeding, but it was hurting. There was no adrenaline going through his veins right now and the pain was still taking it toll on him. He didn't even pay attention to what Bruce was saying. At the moment, he could care less. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He tried to ignore the pain, but it wasn't successful.

" Hang on tight (Y/N). We are almost at the manor. "

" Bruce, before I die, I want you to know that I love you. And tell my brothers the same. "

" You won't die. Calm down. We will test you and give you the proper treatment. "

(Y/N) readjusted his arm, hissing in pain. Bruce stopped the car and he stepped out to help (Y/N). Alfred was there to help him too.

" Okay master (Y/N), just relax. We will patch you up in no time. "

(Y/N) was laying on a bed as Alfred was patching him up. There was 10 million pounds lifted of his shoulders once he didn't have rabies. But the wound was still throbbing and it was still bothering him. He was feeling weird.

" And we are done. The scarring should be minimal. "

(Y/N) just nodded. He was far too tired at this point. Without a word, he dragged his ass up the stairs. Bruce watched with Alfred.

" What is wrong master Bruce? "

" Something is wrong with (Y/N). And it's not about the bite. He usually shakes this type of thing off. "

" Maybe it was the fear of rabies. That fear kept him awake and excited and once the test was negative his body relaxed. "

" It may be, but I'm still worried. " Bruce admitted to Alfred.

" (Y/N) is going to be okay, he just needs to rest. "

(Y/N) is not okay. He was feeling as if something was stabbing him all over his body. On top of that, he was shivering from the called. What in the actual fuck is happening to him?

He whimpered in pain as he turned around. Why does this hurt so much? He needs to get Bruce, but he doesn't think that he will be able to even stand up, let alone walk.

Across the hall, Bruce opened his eyes. Something was wrong. He kicked the covers off and went to check on (Y/N). The others were getting back now.

Bruce opened the door to (Y/N)'s room and his heart sank once he saw his son in pain. He didn't see (Y/N)'s face, but he could guess from the body position and from the twitching of his limbs.

" (Y/N)? " Bruce asked, going over to check on his son.

He was shocked by the mere paleness of (Y/N)'s skin. He looked like death warmed over. Bruce put his hand over (Y/N)'s forehead. Bruce removed his hand, shocked by how high it was. He called Alfred who was going upstairs.

" (Y/N) has a fever, a high one. Should we give him an ice bath? " Bruce asked quickly.

" Let me check. "

After checking, Alfred ordered an ice bath for (Y/N). They need to bring this fever down now. Jason stopped by, confused as to what was going on.

" What's going on? "

(Y/N) winced from the sound of Jason's voice. Why is his hearing so sensitive? Why is everything so damn sensitive?

" (Y/N) has a high fever. We need to bring it down. Can you bring the ice? "

Jason nodded, quickly running to get the ice.

" Can you hear me (Y/N)? " Bruce asked, moving some of the sweaty strands of hair away from (Y/N)'s face.

(Y/N) nodded, trying to comprehend what was happening. He heard the word bath and he could an idea what that would entail. He muttered a soft no, shaking his head softly. A bath would entail the cold.

" I know you aren't a fan of cold, but we need to bring your fever down. "

(Y/N) let out a noise of protest.

" I have the ice. Tim help me out. " Jason said, taking a glance at (Y/N)'s pale face. He looked dead. Tim was also unsettled by the state of his younger brother. Bruce heard the water running and he gently removed the pajamas of off his son, leaving him in his boxers. (Y/N) was mumbling something incoherent and Bruce was sure that that was the noise of protest.

" I know, but we need to drop your fever. "

Jason peaked his head from the bathroom, telling Bruce that it was ready. Damian and Dick also came into the room.

" What is happening? " Dick asked.

(Y/N) felt that his ears were bleeding. Can everyone stop talking?

There were way to many voices in the room. And far too many people. (Y/N) just wanted to die... He was startled when Bruce picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. (Y/N) groaned when the far to bright light hit his eyes.

" Brace yourself son. "

(Y/N) hissed at the cold water. He tried to get out, but Bruce was having none of it. He gently pushed (Y/N) back to sit.

" Lean down, dunk your head. "

Bruce helped him out, gently lowering his son's head down. (Y/N) closed his eyes as his head was dunked. He gripped the edge of the tub with all of his might. He was shivering and chattering. Bruce sat down next to the tub watching his son.

" You boys can go back to your rooms. He is going to be fine. "

" Call us if you need anything. " Dick said as he ushered the others out.

Now it was just Bruce and (Y/N). Bruce watched with worry as watched his son. (Y/N) never had such serious fever. Everyone gets sick every once in a while, but this one tops the cake.

" What made you so sick? " Bruce murmured, gently removing some of wet strands from (Y/N)'s face.

(Y/N) was in a daze, feeling dead. He leaned his head towards Bruce, enjoying the contact. Bruce didn't know what to think about all of this. First there was fear that he would lose his son, but now there was worry. This is not normal.

The stayed there for 10 to 15 minutes and Bruce was then helping him out of the bath. He brought (Y/N) some clean clothes. (Y/N) had managed to change with shaky hands. He barley opened the door as he collapsed into Bruce's arms.

" Okay, come on, lets get you into bed. "

He tucked his son in, making sure he was warm. Bruce glanced at the alarm clock. It was 4 am. Bruce sighed before laying down next to (Y/N). He wouldn't be able to go to his room and sleep peacefully knowing his son was so sick that he couldn't even think straight.

He closed his eyes as his son was sleeping already, clearly exhausted.

(Y/N) was doing slightly better. The fever was still there, but it wasn't as bad as it was few days ago. He was still in pain, but it wasn't as bad. And they tested him again for rabies. Negative.

But (Y/N) felt differently. His vision was good before, but now it seemed to be even better. But what bothered him, was his hearing. He doesn't remember it being this good.

And there was something about his sense of smell that bothered him. What the actual fuck? He was eating fruit that he got from Bruce and Alfred, but the smell was way to intense. He scrunched his nose, but ate the fruit anyway. It's the only thing he could eat without feeling nauseous.

His brothers were popping in from time to time, making sure that he was okay. Although, they weren't going to admit it, they were scared for their youngest brother that night. First it was the dog bite and the fear of rabies and the fever on top of that? Jesus Christ.

He coughed while taking his laptop. He was in the mood for some Golden Girls. He needs something fun to lift him up.

After 2 more days he was healthy. 100% healthy. But he didn't feel like it. Everything was enhanced. He now knew that his hearing was better, alongside his eyesight. But the smell freaked him out more then anything.

His stomach way turning all the time from the intense smells. Sometimes he couldn't stand Bruce's cologne. And Jason's cologne too. What the fuck? He never remembers it being so strong.

And that wasn't the only thing. He got way more restless. He had to workout in the gym longer then usual just to feel slightly tired. Just slightly. Usually when he worked out he was tired and aching, but now it didn't feel like anything, it was just... Nothing. And it made him afraid.

He had to investigate what the hell bit him. That was not a normal dog. It was bigger than any of the breeds he has seen. He was brought back from his train of thoughts when he heard somebody in front of his room. Judging by the footsteps, it was Jason. Woah... There was a knock and Jason peaked his head in once he got the permission.

" Do you want to spar with us? "

" Sure, give me a minute. "

Jason nodded and left the room. (Y/N) sighed. He should have said no, but he didn't want to be restless anymore. He changed his shirt and went to their gym. Everyone was there too. This is not good.

" Come on (Y/N). " Jason said, moving towards the mat.

(Y/N) wrapped his knuckles to protect them. He moved on the mat too, getting ready. Bruce whistled and Jason and (Y/N) went at it. (Y/N) was quick and far more aggressive then usual. Bruce tilted his head while he was watching. Something got into (Y/N). What? He doesn't know, but he will figure it out.

Everything was going fine, until he kicked Jason too hard and there was a crack. Jason gasped for air as he gripped his ribs. (Y/N) watched his hands with wide eyes. Everyone circled Jason, worried about him. (Y/N) couldn't move. What? Oh God what is happening to him?

His vision went blurry as he ran from the room, his father shouting his name. He ran out of the manor, stopping at the edge of the yard where the woods started. Something was wrong with him.

" (Y/N)! Wha- " Bruce stopped once he saw (Y/N)'s eyes. They weren't (E/C) anymore, they were blood red. His eyes widened at the sight of his son in that state. He needs to call Zatanna or Doctor Fate. Maybe both of them.

Bruce froze once he heard the bones breaking and (Y/N) turning. (Y/N) cried from the pain he was going through. Bruce felt his mouth drop as a big gray wolf replaced the place of his son. (Y/N) looked down to look at his paws, whining and crying. Bruce tried to approach his son, but (Y/N) ran. Bruce cursed. He wasn't going to catch up with him. Fuck.

(Y/N) ran for a long time. He stopped by a small lake, moving to drink some water. It got dark and he was exhausted. He laid down on the ground after drinking the water, ready to go to sleep. He will think about his return in the morning.

He looked down at his front paws. So a dog that bit him was a werewolf. But a bigger question is, how is he going turn back into a human? How? His ear twitched when he heard rustling. His lifted his head up, before quickly standing up. He tensed at the thought of somebody hunting him. But there were no hunters here in this forest.

He sniffed the air, smelling nothing. He felt something prick him at his right side. His eyes widened once he saw a dart. A tranquilizer dart. He was afraid. He felt dizzy, falling to his side. He whined before he lost consciousness.

Bruce sighed as he lowered the gun, walking towards his son. Zatanna and Doctor Fate approached the wolf. Zatanna knelt down next to the wolf's head.

" And he had a high fever before this? " Zatanna asked Bruce.

" He did. Why are you asking? "

" That means that his body was preparing him for turning. Well, shifting. And I have to say, he was lucky. He was bit by a werewolf that can control his shifting. "

" So (Y/N) can shift whenever he wants? "

" Yes, but the shift is tied to his emotions too. Werewolves learn to control their emotions too, so they don't shift based on their emotions. "

Bruce nodded. He gently petted (Y/N)'s wolf head, feeling the soft fur under his hand.

" But he will be able to have a some what normal life? " Bruce asked, trying to control his voice.

" Yes. " Doctor Fate answered, observing the wolf.

Bruce sighed in relief.

" Lets get him back. He needs to shift. We know a person that can help him learn all he needs to know. " Doctor Fate added.

Bruce picked the wolf up, walking with Zatanna and Doctor Fate back. He was somewhat relieved that (Y/N) will be able to leave normally. For now, they need to learn how to deal with this.

#batfamily #batman x male reader #bruce wayne x male reader #dc comics #dc x male reader

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b0njourbeach · 25 days

Text

"Haha stupid lazy Lion go brrrr."

No.

Shut up and delete yourself from my sight.

I'll confess, My sight of Leona went approximately like this:

"Ohh, big kitty!" -> "Damn, he hot" -> [plays Book 2] "Damn.." -> [Has spent time to consume a lot of Leona content] "........"

Disclaimer: I'm continuously talking about Book 2, so if you don't want to get spoilered - Don't read it.

I have many thoughts on Leona, but the strongest one of them is:

"I want to hug his younger self/his inner child."

I know it's inside of him, hurting and damaged. All he ever wanted was to be loved, to be appreciated, to be *seen*. A child that longed for love but was starved for so long that it got used to the emptiness inside and now, as soon someone trues to show affection, he'll respond with verbal biting.

He's not an asshole by choice. Keeping his distance is the best defense to avoid getting attached.

Outside of Book 2, there's especially one event where he genuinely shows that he just wants to be seen: The Fairy Gala event (or better said his Fairy Gala Vignette). Vil pushed Leona further and further, nagging to no end and beyond until, at some point, Leona lashed out: "I've BEEN helping you out, and all you've done is find fault with every single thing I do. I followed your directions, and what did it get me? NOTHING. Not the slightest bit of progress." It might be my own interpretation of his words but I wholeheartedly believe that the whole Gala story reminded him of how nothing he ever does/did was ever good enough. It didn't matter what he did, it would never be enough. Vil kept nagging him, people at home keep seeing him as nothing more than the second prince, he was never enough. Which is also a reason why I believe he was so "full of himself" when he got the Fairies to be completely whipped: It was attention and appreciation for his work, for *him*. The Fairies didn't know he was Royalty, they didn't know he was the Housewarden of Savanaclaw, they knew nothing yet they were there, showing him attention and how much they loved his doing.

They gave a starving child the food it desperately needed.

If you're being constantly proven that nothing you do matters, if everything you've done is not enough, you slowly but surely stop trying. You stop trying because it doesn't matter anyways. You loose motivation, you end up in an endless circle of self-hatred and lack of motivation. You know you could and you'd know it would be good but it wouldn't be good enough, it wouldn't please anyone. Their judgmental eyes, their lack of praise, the lack of attention suffocates even the smallest amount of self-confidence and the pride you had in your own work. You stop trying because doing nothing at all hurts less than knowing it wasn't enough, again. Leona is smart and I have no doubts that he'd be actually an admirable Housewarden with excellent grades if it weren't for this huge issue in his mind. Additionally to that, I truly believe that he hadn't any intention of leaving school. In Night Raven, he was at least *someone*, he was Housewarden, the highest position in Savanaclaw. At home, he was no one and he had to deal with his family. Falenas part of the family shined brightly while he was the shadow, a dark disappointment. A nobody.

So why leave school? Why leave the only place where you were someone?

Many also dislike Leona for what he did to Ruggie. I don't blame them, I can understand their point but I think they often miss a point in his action: He didn't (only) do it for the sake of hurting Ruggie. Ruggie was/is his right hand, the probably closest person in Night Raven (Or his whole life, if we're being honest). Ruggie could've sucked up to many people - Even if it was only for Leonas money, Ruggie could've crawled up Kalims (Idias or even Rooks) butt or if it was for power, he could've gone for Malleus. But he didn't. His (seemingly) firstchoice was Leona.

Leona, out of all people.

Leona, the guy who starved.

And it was Ruggie, who saw Leona fail. Leona made a small mistake and their plan failed - And Ruggie knew it. He was there. So with all that has happened, the fact that Ruggie has seen his fall and I also believe that their very bond has turned uncomfortably sour in Leonas mind, so in the heat of events, there was only one solution: "If I fall, I'm dragging Ruggie down with me."

Additionally, I also believe that Leona instinctively took Ruggie simply because they could work things out in the case he was saved out of Leonas grip. Ruggie would have a problem with Leona for a certain period but in the end, he and Leona would still work together. In a slightly messed up way, he has shown confidence in their mutual trust (which has been proven later in Book 6).

Okay whew, now that I got my view on Leona out of my system, I'm adding some more Headcanons:

I can see him the kind of "I wanna unsubcribe of life but I ain't gonna do it myself".

One of the servants at home has a little daughter and she's the only one he's genuinely looking forward to see during holidays.

He pretends to not notice whenever something "disappeared" (via Ruggie) out of his room but knows. He just doesn't want to put himself nor Ruggie in the position of "You took that" (Secretly thinks "At least being Royalty has *some* positive aspects", aka helping Ruggie out with money without going out of his way to hand the money over to Ruggie. Kind of 'letting him hunt himself')

Has read an insane amount of books as a child (mainly to be by himself and escape reality).

If emotions overboil (which happens more often than expected from him), he lets them out when he's entirely alone (Still feels extremely ashamed after expressing emotions, even though no one noticed)

Does not own a single picture of himself - Neither as a child nor his current self. The only pictures/paintings existing are those his family wanted them to be done.

Despite saying he didn't remember how he got his scar, he knows. He knows and won't forget so easily (still has nightmares of it happening sometimes).

Everyone feared Leona as a child for the way he found his Unique Magic: As a child, he was practicing his magic when his father came a little too close to him and suddenly, the king experienced the very thing Ruggie went through: His skin began to crumble more by the second. Servants and doctors came rushing by, hoping to save the King but he would pass away shortly after from completely drying out.

I must add: I'm rather unhappy about the lost opportunity in Book 2, though. Leona is a well written character, but Disney didn't raise Book 2 high enough for Leona to reach his whole potential.

Edit: I forgot to mention that being compared to his brother countless times is bound to cause an unhealthy relationship with his brother, which can also result in further issues in Leonas' mental health. It doesn't matter how hard Falena will try to build up the relationship with Leona, they will (most likely) never have a "normal" sibling relationship.

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar headcanons #twst headcanons #local x is cooking

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sorcerous-caress · 1 month

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Hihi! I just wanted to leave a message letting you know how much I enjoy the stuff you've written. Your human kink tag is probably one of my favorites on this website to be honest, I've read through it so many times (its hard to pick a favorite, but i think mine my be the one with Halsin and the human tav/companions), and i adore the way you write for karlach and shadowheart as well (shadowhearts not even really one of my favorites, but you write her in such a way i think she ended up getting bumped up my list of favorites). Just wanted to say thanks for all that ig!! 🍒

Halsin is one of my fav when it comes human kink because you can tell the man is humanity's number one cheerleader.

"The average elf sleeps with 10 humans a year," factoid actually just statistical error. The average elf sleeps with 0 humans per year. XxHumanzlover69xX Archdruid Halsin, who lives in a cave & sleeps with 10,000 humans each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

The average elf also consumes 0 human porn per year. Meluidil, the goonerbrained high elf, is personally responsible of 90% of the high forest traffic to human porn sites.

Halsin screams human kink. While wood elves have the least degrading view on the homosapiens amongst all other elf kins who view us as less than bugs, they still remain pretentious in their own way of patting us on the head for not burning down our forests...this year.

Take Kagha, for example. She'd be damned if she let a mere human direct her ways. In comparison to her venom filled fangs, we are mere deer fawns, clumisly still learning how to walk without tripping over our own feet.

But Halsin? Our "pathetic nature" brings out the protective instincts in him whilst making him crave us insatiably. He wants a cute human or a dozen to take under his wings and show them the ways of the natural order. Properly teach them about harmony and the various pleasures the oak father blessed his creatures with.

Humans categorize themselves as animals after all, don't they? Halsin would find that notion too silly and adorable of us. Yet he can see it in our graceless ways, primal hormones, and short-sighted nature. Its makes him pity how we can't truly connect with nature like he does, since if we're a part of the gaint picture that is nature, we simply can't step away to view it whole like elves can. We merely live in our veiled and narrow corner of the painting.

Or this is all just elf propaganda. Tales Corellon spinned to make his children believe they're inherently superior so they don't go making half elves left and right and therefore make him lose his domain. Who knows?

It's just that Halsin took the "humans are lesser than you" message a little too personally, and now he sees it as his duty to care and protect humanity.

It doesn't hurt that we are very easy on the eyes and easy to coax to bed. Elves have all these courting rituals that take years at a time just for a kiss, it's so refreshing to just walk to a human and make his intentions known in a poetic line or two that has them sliding onto his lap and touching his pointy ears all curious and wide eyed.

It's not every day that you meet a big, strong elf that shatters your painted glass view of delicate elves. That makes your human hunger for knowledge and cat-like curiosity go haywire as you tiptoe around the subject to get information from him.

He thanks his orc ancestor every night for the many cute humans asking to touch his muscles after a drink or two.

Humans are new, refreshing and constantly inconsistent. From the most primal cutthroat ones that wrestle the control from Halsin to the softest adorable ones that sit on his lap and let him do all the work. We are as cunning as we are dumb.

It's the most intoxicating drug he has had. The more he sleeps with humans, the more he wants more. No two are the same.

Nothing gets him going than watching two humans drown in the pleasure with each other, bodies glistening with sweat as they chase after one another's mouth. Hungry and impatient, Clearly frustrated with their lungs' burning for air as they are forced to break the kiss. Watch a human make another bend over under them, a struggle of power filled with possessive bites, moans and curses. Like their own emptions and desires are too intese for their human brain to process so they need more, melting in greed as they push their bodies past their limit just to scratch the itch.

He wants to watch two humans exhaust each other into oblivion before he takes over. Be gentle and guide them through one more orgasm just for him, experiencing first hand just how unbreakable the human spirit truly is as they stubbornly refuse to stop and keep demanding more.

Followed by providing aftercare for the two of them as they cuddle against him. Looking so Innocent with their soft features as they sleep, trusting him to watch over and protect them.

Halsin's other top fantasy is having a human druid be his disciple. Clearly new in the ways of Oak father and yet so passionate and determined. Halsin would show blatant favouritism as he takes them personally on quests with him, have them tend to the plants in his chambers just before he gently lays them over his bed and claim them.

On another note, poly Halsin with human Tav who's with Gale, Wyll or Minsc is literally his wettest dream. He wants to take you and your human lover on dates before fucking you both to sleep.

He enjoys hanging around in a full party of humans and laughing at their adorable antics while tending to their every whim. Poor human forgot their food? Halsin has some berries in his pocket, open wide, and he'll feed them to you

Your legs are tired? Come here and he'll carry you, don't worry about his wandering hand squeezing your thighs and waist, marveling at how squishy the human body is in comparison to elves.

Bored? Sad? Anxious? He will turn into a cat and be your best friend for the rest of the day. Watch you squeel at how fluffy his fur is as you pet and coddle him, a complete 180 to how you were before, especially if you happened to be closed off to him.

He does find it hilarious how humans who are shy around him or suspicious immediately change their attitude when he wildshapes into an animal they deem cute. He knows they know it's still him inside but their instincts to cuddle everything fluffy wins over their pride and they throw themselves at him.

Thank you so much. I haven't written or posted on this blog in a long while, so most people who read my stuff just come and go silently while leaving likes. It's discouraging to know the author is absent when leaving a comment because they think we might never see it, but I promise we do. Yours made me very happy, and I'm grateful for it <3

#♡human kink #♡smut #♡halsin #human kink #elf x human

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closetsof-backlogged-dreams · 1 month

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HI QUEEN!!!! thoughts on the vision morgause showed to arthur and her motivations/was she lying/ should Arthur have killed uther?

AHHHHHH IVE BEEN WANTED TO BE ASKED THIS AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

alright so i think the first thing that needs to be considered is what her intentions were when she showed him the vision. i think the main consensus is that she wanted Arthur to kill Uther, and while i agree, i think Morgause deserves a few more layers than that. i genuinely think Morgause wanted the truth to be known.

imo, from what we've seen, Morgause is extremely similar to Morgana. in the early seasons, Morgana is justice with kindness. Morgause is justice without. Later, we watch Morgause slowly "corrupt" Morgana and watch her lose her kindness, turning her into the heartless villain she is by season five.

i think Morgause, while not out of the deep goodness of her heart, saw the injustice, and wanted it to be corrected. this manifested mostly in the form of Uther's death, but i do believe a small part of her just wanted the truth to be known :)

whether or not she was lying is something we will never truly know, but she could have been lying about two different things, and i want to attack them separately.

i 100% believe she wasn't lying about Uther using magic for Arthur's birth. i've wondered A LOT how the fuck she knew though, because sorry, who told her?? and merlin is the show it is, so it doesn't tell you these things, but there are enough breadcrumbs left behind so that we can assume she was a pupil of Nimueh's and learned of it from her.

but whether it was actually a vision of Ygraine? i really don't know. i'm not going to lie, the first time i saw the scene, it gave me all the wrong vibes. the ghost of Ygraine is able to meet her son for >5 minutes and one of the maybe two things she says to him is about how Uther used magic to birth Arthur and it killed her?? i don't know. it's strange.

but we also have to remember that we actually don't know anything about Ygraine! honestly, the fandom and fics tend to mention her x10 more than the actual show does. Arthur hardly speaks of her, as well as Uther, and we have to remember that this is the man who essentially killed his wife and is forced to live with that every goddamn day and is 100% romanticizing the woman she was—and then all Arthur has ever heard of her is this romanticized version from his father, and this is the dead mother he's never met. he's going to do some embellishing of her own.

so, for all we know, Ygraine was a terrible person. we really don't know. so i have no conclusive answer to whether or not Morgause was lying about it being a vision, and i think the show actually intended it that way. because that doesn't actually matter. what Ygraine said—that's the truth. the cold, honest truth. whether it actually came from his mother or from a false mimicry of her doesn't actually matter.

another thing i find really interesting is that while Morgause was obviously trying to provoke Arthur with this information and was clearly manipulating him, she really didn't take any extreme steps to ensure he killed Uther. this was also her first step to bring down Uther. it's almost like she tried to find the most moral option she could that dealt the fairest form of justice, and only when it failed was she forced to resort to more gruesome, hands-on approaches.

it also really doesn't seem like she has anything against Arthur in the beginning, which is so fascinating to me, but moving on lol.

now for the BIG one:

should Arthur have killed Uther in The Sins of the Father?

god, this one is hard, because you have to consider it from all angles.

from an objective, justice-based standpoint, you could say that Morgause was absolutely in the right in all of this, and that after learning this information, it was Arthur's duty to kill his father. his father killed his own wife due to his desperation for an heir, and then spent half a lifetime destroying an entire culture and group of people in an attempt to stem his guilt.

so, yes. Arthur should have killed his father, if we're viewing this from the eyes of pure justice.

but for Arthur's own conscious? from a political standpoint? absolutely the fuck not. it would have destroyed Arthur. even when Uther died season four, he was a wreck, so imagine if it has been Arthur. dear god.

and then imagine being an average citizen of Camelot, for whom Uther was probably an alright to not great king, but no one who deserves death, and learning that your beloved Prince Arthur committed patricide and his now king? jesus. that's not how you establish good subject-monarch relations.

and if enemy kingdoms heard about it? god, all the knights must be horribly divided, because most of them swore themselves to Camelot and its royalty, but who the hell do you stand with when your two royals tried to kill each other and one of them was successful? enemy kingdoms would attack, and with their armies as divided as they'd be, who knows how that'd go.

so overall, no. i genuinely believe Arthur shouldn't have killed his father. but that doesn't mean that Uther didn't deserve death.

anyways, i think that's all! this was a lot of fun, and tysm for the ask once again <3

#merlin meta #merthur #merlin #bbc merlin #bbcm #merlin thoughts #merlin discussion #morgause #the sins of the father #arthur pendragon

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yunhohours · 1 year

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Seventeen: Top 5 Kinks

a/n: i received many requests to do this series with various members after readers saw the ones i did for wonwoo and seungcheol. those are copied and pasted here, but the others are all new <3 also since there are so many members and five kinks a piece, there will likely be overlap! i don't want to assign kinks to members that i don't genuinely believe they could have just for the sake of sWiTcHiNg ThInGs uP

p.s. the kinks are not necessarily in order!

seungcheol

mutual masturbation - he likes to watch you touch yourself while he touches himself. smirks like hell the entire time. likes to instruct you on exactly how he wants you to touch yourself.

skype sex - this is similar to no. 1 in the sense that they’re both essentially mutual masturbation, but this is different in his mind. this feels particularly exciting to him because it feels so playful and he probably does it at random times that may not be the smartest choice. he feels like you’re doing something you shouldn’t be and he likes that. of course he gets to watch you, too, which we already know he likes.

shower sex - loves pulling you out of bed with him for his morning shower. he loves the way his senses are heightened from sleep, the way the water feels on his skin, the way you feel around him. he goes hard despite being groggy. it really wakes him up and he likes to start both of your days off “the right way.”

filming - i know i am beating the “cheol is a visual person” thing to death but he is. if you let him, he’ll have a gallery full of photos and videos of you in various stages of undress and engaging in various sexual activities. with him only, of course. would not surprise me even a little bit for him to have a photo of you obviously naked (but unable to see anything compromising), looking up at him, sticking your tongue out as he grips your chin as his wallpaper on his phone.

creampie - he is possessive, proud to have you, and accomplishment-oriented. this gives him all of those at once. he feels like he’s marked you, he loves that no one else gets to have you like this, and he’s succeeded in a) finishing and b) claiming you. bonus points that he gets to enjoy rough sex without having to worry about stopping to pull out or have a condom “in the way.” (i am not advising this, please be safe!)

jeonghan

phone sex - ok hear me out. he doesn't actually love phone sex that much. not in the way that it makes him horny and you touch yourselves together. but he absolutely loves getting you worked up and making you yourself for him. that part... that's what does it for him.

quickies - to put it simply: jeonghan sometimes thinks that all the time and intention that goes into having sex just feels... silly? like he's not trying to make it a big deal and if it feels like that then it can throw him off if he's not in the right mood. quickies are perfect because it's none of that. just pleasure without all the other stuff.

drunk sex - this is pretty similar to the reason he loves quickies tbh. drunk sex is less serious and he loves that. but also, when his mind is less active in the way it normally is when he's sober, he is better able to truly appreciate how beautiful and perfect you are. there are no mental distractions. just you and your body.

threesomes/sharing - if you're into this, so is jeonghan. like he's really so into it. but the center focus of this is always your pleasure. jeonghan mostly likes to watch you being pleasured by someone else, but he doesn't just want to sit off to the side. he wants to talk to you during it and kiss you and let his hands touch you wherever they please. he's not quite a cuck, not quite a voyeur, because he has to be involved to some degree. he will engage with the third party but to a more minimal degree (probably just kissing/touching, no oral or penetration).

sex toys - sex toys just incite curiosity in jeonghan. he loves trying new ones with you to see what they can do. it doesn't always go smoothly and he loves getting to laugh with you about it. you probably have an entire chest for both your pleasure and his.

joshua

scratching (receiving) - i don't think joshua realized how much he liked having his back scratched up by you until he saw them in the mirror. just looking at the marks excites him and makes him want to go looking for you.

striptease (receiving) - joshua is the best audience of one when you give him a little show. he sits there with that little half smile, half smirk on his face and acts so casual. just humming in response to what you say and saying simple things like "oh really?" "is that right?" "wanna come sit in my lap, pretty girl/boy?"

car sex - ngl i think most of the time joshua just wants to have sex at home. alone. but sometimes when you look too good and the vibe is just right, he gets the urge to pull in somewhere empty enough and fuck you in the car. his adrenaline is always racing and he can't stop grinning about it for the rest of the day.

blindfolds (receiving) - on the rare occasion, joshua likes to be completely at your mercy. the way you touch him is heightened so much when he can't see it coming and it makes him a sensitive mess. literally feels like he's in heaven.

pet play (light) - i really need to emphasize the light here because a) joshua would not think he'd be into this on his own and b) he only dips his toe into it but fuck if he doesn't like that little bit. come to him naked with a collar and kitty ears on (bonus points for a tail!) and he's thanking all the gods for you. loves calling you kitten. loves the way you want to please him and be good for him.

junhui

oral sex (giving) - jun loves giving you the sloppiest head over omg. he has a job to do and he doesn't care what happens in the process as long as you're blessing him with your beautiful moans and rewarding him for his hard work with an orgasm. often goes down on you with no plans of anything else afterwards.

sexting - you cannot convince me there's a better sexter in the world than jun. bro makes you so fucking horny with just words on a screen. he doesn't need his voice, pictures, anything. he specifically loves initiating it when you're not at home because he's a menace (hot).

voyeurism - jun likes to attend sex parties/clubs with you and get yourselves riled up watching other people fuck. the need gets so strong just watching for so long without any physical stimulation that by the time you actually do have sex, it's intense and doesn't last long but the orgasms are always top tier.

exhibitionism - similarly, jun likes to be the show for other people. he's very much aware that he's a godlike specimen and so are you. why not gift others a once-in-a-lifetime experience that they'll surely never forget? this bleeds over into your normal daily life as well - he is not bothered if someone catches you two. quite the contrary.

dirty/messy/sloppy sex - yes, jun likes giving you sloppy head but he also just likes everything to be messy. he loves when you're both sweating all over each other, when you're drooling on each other, when he can see the cum leaking out of you. something about feeling dirty really does it for him. the messier the better.

soonyoung

kissing - listen, hoshi loves kissing. he could kiss you all day every day if time and you permitted. but like... he really loves it. if you just kiss him long enough, he's going to be so fucking horny he can't stand it. you don't have to touch him or even kiss him particularly intensely (though of course that helps).

rimming (receiving) - i will die on this hill. nothing will make hoshi whinier than being on all fours with your tongue working his hole. he's so loud and so happy oh my god.

temperature play - temperature play is just fun and what is hoshi if not a fun guy? he giggles a lot when your skin stutters from a drop of wax by his hand and he moans with stars in his eyes when you're dragging a cube of ice down his body with your mouth.

drunk sex - he's beyond grateful any time you amplify his already fantastic time by having playful, head empty sex with him. he gets so clingy when he drinks and he just needs you to remind him how much you love him and how special he is.

somnophilia (receiving) - this really only happens when you wake him up with head but it's one of his favorite things in the world. he falls into sub space immediately upon waking and fully trusts you to take care of him and make him feel good.

wonwoo

praise (receiving) - he likes to know he’s making you feel good. he’s confident in his abilities so he doesn’t necessarily need it, but a choked “you feel so good wonwoo” will have him buzzing. his ego likes that.

lingerie - just the idea that you put so much thought into dressing up for him makes him feel special and that does it for him. it helps that you look amazing in it too, of course.

scratching - mark his back up when he’s fucking you, please. it’s a reminder that he made you feel so good you were holding on for dear life and he cherishes every single one.

breeding - he’s familial and likes a bit of possessiveness in the bedroom. loves the idea of you being full of him. makes you feel even more like his. probably isn't actually trying to knock you up but if it happens, he's not sorry about it.

somnophilia - consensual of course. wake him up inside of you in any way and oh my god he could swear he’s in heaven. there are probably many middle-of-the-night sleepy fucks every year and he never wants them to stop. very gentle with you when he touches you awake he's so lovely.

jihoon

comfort sex - woozi almost doesn't even mind when things upset him anymore. you always take such good care of him when he's stressed or upset, making him cum to clear his head and relax. now when something gets him worked up, he's almost grateful because he knows he gets to go home and be treated like your precious pillow prince.

morning sex - similar to comfort sex, woozi uses morning sex as a way to get through life. he knows he's going to be busy and stressed pretty much every day but starting the day off inside you surely helps. he also thinks you look so beautiful when you first wake up. how is he meant to keep his hands to himself?

dry humping/clothed sex - woozi is more than happy to cum in his pants as long as you're cumming in yours too. sometimes it's just easier, but mostly he thinks it's hot because it feels like you're both too eager to have each other that you couldn't even take the time to get your clothes out of the way.

orgasm denial (receiving) - woozi knows how to run the show and assert himself. he likes to be viewed as capable and a leader, even if he doesn't always feel that way himself. but with you... he likes relinquishing all that control to you and letting you tell him what's what. denying his orgasm is peak control. he gets so frustrated and whiny but he wants you to keep doing it over and over.

oral sex (receiving) - there's just nothing like your warm, wet mouth. he doesn't have to do any of the work and reaps all the benefits. plus you look so hot taking care of him.

seokmin

dirty talk - dk is communicative. he likes to talk to you and listen to you, even during sex. he has plenty to say on his own, but listening to you talk dirty to him? omfg he's gonna cum rn.

body worship (giving) - you are the most perfect thing on planet earth and our darling dk is going to make sure you know that. he'll spend so much time kissing and praising every part of you that you'll simply have to agree with his assertion that there is nothing more beautiful than you.

make up sex - this absolute angel cannot stand fighting with you so he never lets it go on for long. he'll come find you, apologize profusely, and then kiss you until you're giving in to him, letting him show you just how sorry he is.

loud sex - the way dk looks at you with hearts in his eyes when you're moaning nice and loud for him should be a crime. it makes him feel good about himself to know that he's pleasing you well enough that you can't get a reign on your volume level. even if you could, he wouldn't want you to. only fucks you harder to see just how loud you can get with the biggest grin on his face.

hair pulling (receiving) - pulling dk's hair is a sign that he's doing something right and he wants more. it feels good too. he lets his head fall back into your hand with the most blissful moan.

mingyu

size kink - is anyone surprised to see this here? me neither. mingyu just loves the way you gawk at his large body and can't seem to keep your hands off of it. his ego swells every time. he also loves how tiny you look crying out his name underneath him.

praise/degradation - he loves both, okay? he wants to be the best, most beautiful and perfect boy in the world for you but he also wants to be your pathetic little toy. he likes to be objectified when you degrade him - he's not into being sissified or anything like that. just remind him that he's for you to use and that he should consider himself grateful, that kind of thing. he'll even let you slap him around a bit. as for praise, just give it all to him. he eats it all up.

choking - mingyu is happy to be on either end of this one. he never wants to participate to the point of either of you losing consciousness, but he thinks the display of power is sexy.

semi-public sex - mingyu doesn't want to actually be caught fucking you, but he likes the adrenaline that the possibility creates. he especially likes it when you're the one that's needy for him and he "gets" to sneak you off into a closet or bathroom somewhere to take care of you. "can't wait until we get home, hmm? tsk tsk you're lucky i'm such a good boyfriend"

teasing - another one he's happy to be on either end of. he loves to tease you and he loves it when you tease him. that feeling of being head empty only each other during the middle of the fucking day no less is intoxicating. he could live in that state of limbo forever. the actual sex is great of course, but the foreplay of teasing might just be better.

minghao

lingerie - this is especially his thing when he gets to pick out your little outfit. he loves playing dress up with you and then fucking you stupid in it.

spit kink (giving) - no way in hell would he admit this to another soul, but he likes to spit in your mouth. he thinks it's nasty, but that's the point. you're so willing to please him that you'd let him spit in your mouth? my fucking god.

finger sucking (giving) - think of anything you can do that proves you're wrapped around minghao's fingers and you can bet he's into it. loves making eye contact with you while you suck your juices from his fingers. "you just do anything i want, don't you?"

dumbification (giving) - here we have yet another degradation kink of minghao's. he absolutely loves when you're so cock drunk and fucked out that you're barely even there anymore. can't talk to him properly (if at all), just pathetic sounds of pleasure falling from your lips. makes sure to taunt you about it the entire time.

overstimulation - minghao is usually on the giving end of this. watching you shake and cry because he won't relent on pleasuring you plasters the most self-satisfied smirk on his face. but once in a blue moon, he lets you take the lead. and when he does, he wants to make the most of it. so don't let him off easy. make him cry.

seungkwan

handjobs - seungkwan loves blowjobs, don't misunderstand. but handjobs are special. he loves watching your hand around him and he likes that your mouth is free to talk to him. he loves to have a back and forth of flirtatious banter as if you're not literally going to make him cum any second as it is.

cockwarming - seungkwan likes to pretend that he can be all cool about this. he likes to think that he can feel you wrapped tightly around him and be perfectly content with just that. sometimes he's right, especially when he's sleepy enough. but other times it's just a guise he uses instead of just admitting that he wants sex. those times, he holds out for as long as he can, but once he gives up, he fucks you harder than usual. he likes the challenge.

roleplay - he only likes a very specific type of roleplay: when you pretend you're strangers meeting somewhere and seduce each other. seungkwan is all about banter (as evidenced by kink #1) so this gets him going.

fingering (giving) - making you cum with only his fingers is a favorite pastime of seungkwan's. he especially likes doing this in the mornings when you're pretty and needy.

perfume/cologne - seungkwan just can't help himself when you're wearing a nice fragrance and he gets a whiff. all he can think about is burying his face into your neck to drown in it while he fucks into you.

vernon

face-fucking - vernon loves when you let him take control of your mouth on him. he loves to fuck himself into your throat if you can take it, but if that doesn't work for you, he'll take it nice and easy, just guiding you with his hand on the back of your head. always makes extra sure you're okay afterwards because he's the sweetest dude.

somnophilia - sometimes vernon wakes up in the middle of the night with an aching erection. those nights, he's grateful that you let him slip himself inside you even while you're sleeping. you're so good to him.

lazy sex - somno is usually pretty lazy, but vernon just loves lazy sex in general. it's nice when neither of you have to exert so much energy and can focus solely on how good it feels to be full of each other.

mutual masturbation - this is usually accompanied by watching porn together. you'll both sit up against the headboard, eyes glued to the screen as you touch yourselves. at some point along the way, your eyes drift to watching each other instead, kissing often and sometimes taking over for the other.

spanking (giving) - i think this is a repressed kink of vernon's lmao. like he'll usually spank you as a "joke," but when he hears the way you yelp - or worse, moan - in response, he's in trouble.

chan

sex toys - finding new ways to make you cum is so fun for dino. he memorizes the way each toy makes you respond and uses that information for good evil. he has no interest in using them for himself, but he loves looking up at you while he fucks you with one of your toys. you look perfect to him like that.

dirty talk - i'm convinced dino has a filthy mouth omg. like he just gets so cocky when you're having sex that he starts saying any and everything he can think of, no matter how crazy it'd sound to him when he's thinking straight.

wall sex - if there's one thing dino's gonna do it's try to show off to you. and holding you up against the wall while he absolutely ruins you is one of many ways he likes to do that. he feels so fucking powerful that he can't help but go harder on you.

thigh riding - dino is quite confident when it comes to his muscles. in the name of peacocking to you, he likes to make you cum on his thigh. sometimes he'll guide you, doing all the work just to show you all he needs is his thigh to make you feel good. other times, he'll sit back and make you do all the work. proves the same point after all, doesn't it?

jealous sex - dino is yours and you are his. any time either of you feels jealous because of someone else, dino think it's high time you remind yourselves. by fucking, of course.

#th: svt #seventeen smut #seventeen kinks #kpop smut #kpop kinks

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tillthelandslide · 11 months

Text

Insufferable Arsehole Part 7: All I Need To Hear

a/n: okay i actually really love this chapter (it might be my fave so far) ... ready for some cuteness between lou and matty and some protectiveness from the boys? i sure hope so. hope you enjoy it

Warnings: smut, fluff, spelling/grammar mistakes

IA Masterlist

Part 6

Minors DNI

Lou was sat on the front of the stage, her legs dangling over the side, her guitar rested in her lap and her notebook was sat by her side, the edges were frayed and ink was spilled on the surface. By every sense of the word, it was worn; beaten up and used. She loved it nonetheless and took it everywhere with her, it was quite a thick notebook, stuffed to the brim with songs of course, but also pictures she had taken (of her loved ones, her fans, strangers, nature, everything you can imagine), fun things she had found like flowers that she pressed to preserve, receipts from places she had visited, small mementos people had given her: it was all apart of her creative process.

She had several like it back home, but nothing made her happier knowing that this notebook was also filled with Matty now, Polaroid's she had taken of him throughout their time together, making up for the years where he wasn't present.

A pen rested between her teeth as she strummed and hummed, she occasionally stopped to write something down before playing again.

Matty was watching intently at the side of the stage, listening to how her voice somehow filled the empty venue, despite it being huge and her not having a microphone. He was enamored with her, well and truly infatuated. He loved how she used notebooks too, not opting to write it on her phone like some people, she found it easier to write this way and so did he, the words flowed out of them easily.

"And I'm, on, my way to believing" she sings, liking the words so writing them down, nearly finished and happy with the song she was writing.

"Can feel you staring y'know" her voice catches his attention then, she didn't look at him as she spoke, too heavily focused on what she was doing. He feels like a child who was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, his cheeks flush and he looks down at his feet.

"You can join me if you want..." She says, turning her head to look at him now, his heart pounds twice as hard and three times as fast as her soft eyes find his, as her lips prick up into a smile upon seeing him. He can't help but smile at the way she pats the spot next to her, it was cute.

He was wearing a hoodie which was a size or two too big for him, black jeans and his hair was slightly askew on his head. She liked him best like this, this was her Matty, not the persona he had created for stage, or interviews or online. This was just Matthew Timothy Healy, the boy she grew up with that she hated for most of her life, who had turned into one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

The boy she hated felt like a distant memory now, she doesn't know how long it's been since he confessed his feelings but she truly doesn't care. Every bad memory she had of him was overwritten by a wonderful one, ones that made her heart flutter and butterflies swarm her stomach.

She realises as he walks to her that he's not wearing shoes, his feet clad in a pair of black socks, making his footsteps that much lighter. His movements are slow and fragile, not wanting to disturb her thought process. He truly can't even believe she's letting him witness this, he finds it quite intimate, watching someone write.

He doesn't speak for a few minutes, just listening to her, watching her intently as she plays a few chords, then jots them down in her notebook, singing beautiful words, before she's scribbling them down.

"Sounds beautiful darling" he says, quietly, needing to tell her his opinion but not wanting to interrupt her.

"Thank you Matty" she says, still not looking at him.

"I can leave if you need to be alone" he says and she looks at him then, frown resting on her face.

"Hey no. It's okay. Don't leave. Quite like having you here" she says, her words rushed and panicked.

"Okay I'll stay" he says, leaning forward to place a peck to her cheek, awkwardly moving around the guitar.

He doesn't quite know what to do when she doesn't continue writing or playing. She's just staring at him, before she puts her guitar down next to her.

She leans her head onto his shoulder, looking out at the venue. She used to dream about playing venues like this when she was a kid, when they were just kids playing in George's garage.

When her own band started selling out venues similar sizes to the one they were at, sometimes bigger, she couldn't quite believe it, she suffered with imposter syndrome for many years during the beginning of her career. But something about this, playing with the four guys she loved most in the world (and becoming friends with some of the best people she had met including Jamie Squire, John, Carly and Polly) ... It was different.

But recently, she felt unbelievably guilty for being so happy here, the idea was ridiculous. She missed her band, but was also having the time of her life with the guys. She believed that if her own band knew how she was feeling now, the happiest she had ever been and unbelievably in love; they would maybe feel jealous and Lou felt guilty because of that.

"Are you okay, love?" He asks, voice still quiet, scanning her features, trying to work out how she was feeling.

"I... Um" she hesitates, she moves herself from his shoulder then, looking at him. Her thoughts are clouded with all the negative things she's been pushing down recently: the fact that she had been receiving an influx of hate recently, the fact she was missing her band and her family, the fact she was feeling a little lost, if not momentarily.

He sees the tears prick at her eyes and he's quick to pull her into his arms, lips pressing against the side of her head, into her hair, trying to soothe her. He realises this is the first time he's ever seen her cry and the sight cracks open his heart.

"Hey darling it's okay, I'm here" and truly that's all she needs to hear to stop her tears from falling.

"Talk to me" he says after a beat. He feels bad that he can't help but feels grateful that he's the one experiencing this for a change. Usually George or Ross would be in his place right now... Sometimes even Hann. But for once he got to have her like this and that thought (although selfish) was everything to him.

"I miss my bandmates..." She admits (only scratching the surface of what was really wrong) and the confession pangs at his heart for a bit.

"Are you not enjoying yourself anymore?" He asks and she moves to look at him.

"No... No it's not that. I- I miss them. But I feel guilty more than anything" she admits and he knows not to talk, to just listen, because that's what she needed at that moment.

"I feel guilty because I'm with you guys, having the best time. And they keep asking if I'm coming back and... I can't help but feel like I don't want to. I don't want this to end because it's been perfect. We haven't even been on tour that long but it's the best" she says, sniffling as more tears threaten to fall.

"But they know you're needed for the whole tour right?" He asks and she nods.

"Truth is I don't ever want to leave you guys... You've all made me feel... The most alive I've ever felt in my life... Especially you Matty" she admits and his breath falters at her words.

He made her feel alive. He doesn't quite know what to do with that yet but he'll unpack that idea when he's alone. For now this was about her and giving her a safe space to speak.

"I loved being on tour with them, don't get me wrong. I love our fans and our songs and... They're my best friends, you know... It was fun... But... You guys feel like family... When I'm with you... When I'm on that stage with you all, I feel like everything is going to be alright" she explains and he nods. He truly felt that too, even before she started helping them out on this tour. He admits that it's gotten better since she's joined and the thought that one day she has to leave, it truly pains him.

"You know you're a part of this family now. Always have been really. That's never going to go away love" he says and she knows his words are true.

"And if they truly love and care about you they'll understand how you're feeling," he says.

"I can't stay here forever though Matty. Eventually Carly will be back, where she's supposed to be, and I'll be on the opposite side of the world to you guys" she says and again the thought pains him.

"Unfortunately we can't change that love. I know that's a sucky thing to say but we can't. We just have to make this time we all have together, count" he says and she nods, knowing he's right.

"You're right," she says.

"We will continue to play the shows, we will spend every waking moment with each other. And I... I'll shower you with love every day... And when the time comes to say goodbye... Maybe it won't hurt as much, yeah?" He says, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Yeah" she nods, feeling slightly better now, although she knows the more time they spend together, the more it will hurt to say goodbye. But she can't think about that now. So she decides to live in the moment, with the man she was falling in love with and her three best friends.

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A day off on tour was infrequent to say the least, but today they had one. They often wouldn't have time to actually do anything, they would either be too tired to wander the streets of whatever city or town they were in, or Jamie would be worried about them getting swarmed by fans. But yesterday, they had arrived at the city fairly undetected due to their flight arriving late at night. So with much persuasion from all of the band, Jamie was letting them explore today.

Lou couldn't control her excitement, so woke at 7am, she knew Hann might be up but the rest of the band would likely be asleep still. She slipped out of bed, hearing a groan from Matty, who's hand slipped from around her waist. Despite his groan, he didn't wake and Lou sighed thankfully.

She took a long, peaceful shower before slipping on a pair of jeans and a white crop, she smiled to herself as she applied some makeup, the "M" necklace dangling in front of her chest.

She slipped out of their hotel room, trying her best not to wake Matty. Their rooms in this particular hotel were all connected, she swore Jamie did it just to force Lou and Matty to shut up for a day or two (not that it stopped them). Each bedroom was connected to a large room in the middle, where there were large leather sofas and a small kitchen hidden in the corner. She spotted Hann sitting at the island there, reading a newspaper as he drank coffee from his mug.

He looked up from what he was reading, offering her a smile as she walked closer to him.

"Good morning sunshine" she says, her voice still quiet, too early to be louder yet.

"Sleep well?" he asks, already grabbing a mug and pouring her a coffee as she comes to sit next to him on the island. She nods at him and he smiles. Her eyes find the paper he's reading, seeing their faces sprawled out across the front cover, smiling at the group picture that was taken of them.

"What are they saying about us this time? Any slander?" she asks and he chuckles, eyes wandering over the paper.

"It's quite nice actually, makes a change really" and she nods at his words, taking a sip from the coffee, nice but not as good as the ones Matty makes for her she thinks.

"There's a lot of questions about you and Matty though Lou" he says, a hint of worry detectable in his voice.

"Yeah..." her voice trails off "been seeing a lot of articles come up on my phone too... People tweeting me too" she says and he looks at her then, trying to sense what she's feeling.

"You know you don't have to tell anyone what you are right??" Hann says and she nods at his words.

"Can't help but wonder if we're doing the right thing" she says, knowing he is exactly the right person to talk to about this. Hann will always tell her how it is.

"What do you mean love?" he asks, needing some more information before he gives his insight.

"No matter what we do... people are going to hate us... some people anyway. If we tell people the truth, that we're just having fun, enjoying time together, figuring out whatever this is... then they might hate us... if we carry on doing what we're doing, not confirming it but not denying it either... people are going to continue to say we're being unfair... not telling our fans the truth" she says and he nods.

"He makes you happy right?" he asks and she nods again.

"And I know for a fact that you make him happy. When you're with each other, does any of it matter? What people might think or say?" he asks and she shakes her head"no ".

"So agree you'll deal with the consequences together, either way, whatever you choose" he says and she leans on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she says and he briefly grasps her hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

"You've been there for me with all the Carly stuff in the old days, only returning the favor" he says, but they both know it's more than that. The whole group would do anything for each other, they'd die for each other if they had to.

"What would I do without you Adam Hann?" she asks and he chuckles.

"Probably let George, Ross and Matty delude you into thinking the sun shines from your arse" he jokes and they both can't help but howl at how funny they find it. They hear two doors open after that, each revealing a grumpy band member: Ross and George.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Ross says and he says the two of them laughing.

"I know you can't be laughing at Hann, he really is not that funny" George says, the next to join them, placing a soft kiss atop her head. George's eyes drift to hers, searching around her as if she was missing a limb.

"Where's the grump?" George said, a nickname they had given Matty because he was definitely not a morning person.

"Sleeping" she says, a smile creeping its way up onto her face, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

"Oh look at you" he says, gripping the apples of her cheeks.

"Shut up" she says, shoving him.

"Well I'm not waking him up" Ross says as he plonks down on a sofa behind them. She sees John leave his room, coming to sit with Ross and before she knows it George is leaving her to join them too.

She stands, hugging Hann quickly to say thank you before she grabs another mug, pouring a coffee for Matty before standing up and walking to their room.

"Please for the love of god dont have sex whilst we're all awake" she hears George shout and she laughs.

"Wouldn't be the first time George" she shouts back, hearing him groan as the others laugh.

She slowly opens the door to their room, eyes flinching as she sees him stir in his sleep at the light that makes its way into the room.

She moves leisurely across the room, not wanting to suddenly wake him. She carefully places the coffee cup on his bedside table. Kneeling next to his side of the bed, her fingers drift across his hair, pushing the curls away from his face so she can see him better.

Sleep is etched across his features, his eyebrows furrowed almost in a frown so she places a soft kiss there, careful not to wake him yet.

His soft snores continue to fill the room and she smiles, she doesn't quite want to wake him, he just looked so darn peaceful.

"Matty" she says his name softly, accompanying her words with a kiss to his cheek making him stir. She repeats his name again, placing another kiss to his lips this time.

"Hmm" he mumbles, the kiss awakening him, out of instinct they press firmer against hers and his hand is quick to grab the back of her head, not letting her go just yet. She laughs against his mouth and he smiles, breaking their lips for a few seconds before they're back on hers.

"Morning" he grumbles, his morning voice awakening something inside her, like it always does.

"I made you coffee" she says, trying to distract herself from the feelings his voice draws out of her.

"Mhmm" he says, pulling her up from her knees and grabbing her so she falls on top of him.

"Now isn't that so much better?" he says, voice deep, the vibrations resonating in her chest.

"Matty we have to get going, everyone else is up" she says.

"Mhmm, everyone is up" he says, his words having a completely different meaning to them, and she knows exactly what he means as he raises his hips up to hers. She can feel him hard and heavy beneath her and her breath becomes bated at the feel of him, looking down at him she sees the all too famous smirk resting on his lips as his usual dark eyes are blown wide.

"Someone's definitely awake now" she says and he flips them, making her chuckle.

"Had a dream about you" he says as he smears his lips against hers, she tastes like coffee and he groans at the taste.

"Clearly" she mumbles against his mouth, making him chuckle.

They're abruptly disturbed by a loud knock on their door.

"What!" Matty shouts, making her chuckle.

"We have plans, remember!" they hear George say and Matty groans as Lou pulls away from him.

"He's right. Come on" she says, pressing against his chest to slip out from underneath him before tugging him upwards, out of the bed.

"You can sort that out in the shower" she says, gesturing to his erection.

"You will be the death of me" he confirms with a firm kiss to her mouth, one that completely knocks the air from her entire body, especially when his tongue aggressively presses against hers. He leaves her after that, stunned and a little bit (or a lot) turned on.

She returned to the others in the larger room, sitting by herself as they were wrapped up in some conversation she had no interest in partaking in, something about football.

She found herself scrolling on Instagram, interacting with fans who had commented on her recent uploads, a few of which were of Matty. She couldn't help but read some of the negative ones too, and suddenly she was in a deep trance, reading negative comment after negative comment. A few people were calling her a "slag" or "slut" and it did make her chuckle but also made her stomach churn. She has always had this desire to be liked, and when people didn't like her, she hated it.

She hadn't realised how long she had been scrolling but suddenly Matty was standing in front of her, his shadow casting over her features, but even that didn't make her eyes leave her phone.

He called her name: no reply. It wasn't until he was pressing his fingers against her chin lightly that she looked up at him.

"Ready to go love?" He asks, his features soft as he looks down at her, thumb gently running along the apple of her cheek, feeling like something wasn't quite right.

She tries her hardest to push the thoughts away, and does so quite successfully. She nods up at him, taking his hand as she stands.

"So I think John, Hann and I are going to go to this record store" Ross explains and Lou, Matty and George nod. Jamie, Jamie (manager) and Polly agree to stay at the hotel, needing some alone time.

"We can meet somewhere throughout the day? I'll call you" He asks as he pulls her to his chest, hugging her tightly, before hugging the others. She quickly hugs Hann and John, saying their goodbyes.

Lou, George and Matty decide to go to a local park, walking along in the sunshine, talking about all sorts. They pick up an ice cream each along the way, each trying each other's flavors. Matty walks with his arm hung over Lou's shoulders and she takes pictures of them throughout the day.

A couple of fans notice them and kindly (and quietly) ask them for photos which they accept. They appreciate that they don't draw attention to them, letting them enjoy their day off in peace.

They continue walking along the park, stopping to look at the trees, to guess what type it was (as if any of them had a clue), Lou would often stop at different flowers, naughtily plucking a few and begging Matty to let her weave it into his hair.

"Stop being a pest" he chuckles as he attempts to push her hands away from his hair.

"C'mon Matty! You'd look adorable... Please" she pleads with a pout on her lips. Matty has to seriously resist the urge to place his mouth against hers to remove the pout.

"C'mon G help me out here" she says and George holds his hands up.

"I'm not helping you with anything" he says and she frowns.

"You're both boring old men now" she says, Matty and George share a look as mischief clouds their features. They both set their eyes on her and she knows she's screwed. They both run towards her, George picking her up off the ground by her waist, Matty quickly finds her sides, tickling her. She squirms in her best friend's arms and all three of them laugh way too loudly.

A few onlookers scowl at them as they walk past making them chuckle as she's set back on the floor.

"Miserable fuckers" George's says as they laugh. They continue their walk along the park together, eventually wandering off into town to meet the boys in a coffee shop Ross had told them to meet them at.

He had popped a heads up in their group chat (a new feature for their group) that a group of fans was crowding outside, not too many, about 4 or 5. He said they seemed nice enough and said they're hellos and then let them enter the shop.

Lou found herself getting nervous the closer they got to the coffee shop, what if they hated her? What if they were amongst the few that had started to post mean things on social media?

George seems to sense something is wrong and hooks his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. They see the group that Ross had texted them about, she spotted almost instantly the daggers they were shooting her way.

George's hand nearly slips from hers and she's quick to whisper "please don't let me go" to him, he doesn't need to be told twice, placing his hand firmly in hers.

The group are quick to say hello to Matty, pulling him in for hugs and pictures. George gives Lou a look as they look at him and she nods, letting go of his hand reluctantly. She awkwardly stands there, getting the sense they didn't want to say hello to her. They quickly took photos with George before they were saying goodbye.

George comes to stand next to her again, placing his hand back in hers and walking behind Matty into the shop.

He takes a step into the shop, door open, leaving Lou to still be out the door. They both hear the fans' words at the same time and she flinches as she sees the look on George's face.

"See you've moved onto George now... What a slag" one of them says as the others laugh meanly, it felt like she was back in high school. Although online comments hurt, she was quite good at distracting herself from it all, but in person was a whole new kettle of fish: it was completely unavoidable.

"G just leave it" she says, looking up at him silently begging him not to step back outside.

"They can't say shit like that to you" he says, voice loud enough for them to hear.

"It's fine G really. Let's just go inside" she says.

Matty hadn't noticed the two had stopped in the doorway so he proceeded to sit down with the other boys.

"What's going on with them?" Hann asks and Matty shrugs his shoulders.

"The fans probably wanted to say something else" Matty says, not knowing what had happened. If he did he would've been straight out there, telling them exactly what he thought of their mean words.

"Please G, drop it" she says, hearing them say more stuff behind them, things about how Matty's ex's were prettier than her, how she 'wasn't even that good' and how they could've got someone better to replace Carly.

He sees tears spring to her eyes and instantly steps into the threshold. He begins to say something to her as the door shuts but she interrupts him.

"I don't want to talk about it" she says as she moves to the table the guys are sitting at.

"Well I fucking do" George says, his voice raised, drawing all their attention to the lanky lad as he plonks himself down, arm wrapping round the back of her chair in defense, as if it would protect her. The waitress comes over and asks them what they'd like to drink.

"Latte please" she says weakly. The waitress looks at George who doesn't meet her eyes, making her awkwardly walk away.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Ross says, getting completely ignored by the both of them. Matty's eyes flick between the both of them, utterly lost.

"You say you don't want to talk about it as if that's not the first time that's happened" George says, she can't look at him because she knows exactly how he'd look.

Pupils blown wide in anger, facial features furrowed and the vein on his neck would be popping out. She knew the look all too well, having seen it on many occasions in the past, most of them when she had broken up with someone or someone had treated her badly: just like this occasion.

Matty looks at his best friend, seeing a look on his face that worried him, one which he rarely saw.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Matty then asks, and she looks at him, seeing how worried he looks, he sees the remnants of tears in her eyes and his hand quickly finds hers under the table, squeezing it tightly in his own. God she was thankful for him right now.

"Those fucking 'fans'" George says, fingers raising in the air to punctuate the word fans "said shit about Lou okay? And I get the impression it's not the first time"

They're all looking at her now, anger sketched across every single one of their features, even John looked angry and she didn't think that was possible. He was practically a walking marshmallow.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Doesn't change anything" she says simply, trying not to get upset.

"Yes it fucking does" George says, his eyes softening as she flinches slightly, he places his arm on her shoulder, softly squeezing as if to say sorry.

"Alright George calm down, she doesn't need that right now" Matty says, usually that would be something Ross would say but she's so thankful it's him this time.

"Sorry I'm annoyed" he says, arms crossing as he huffs.

"We all are mate, but it's not exactly helpful is it?" Ross says.

"What have they been saying Lou?" Adam says, his words carefully spoken as not to press too much.

"Just silly comments about me being a slag. It's fine honestly"

"That is not fine" it's Matty who is talking now and she looks at him and frowns.

"Love they have no right saying shit like that" he then says, squeezing her hand again. The waitress brings over her coffee awkwardly, not wanting to disturb the heated discussion.

"There's nothing I can do about it. They think what they think and it's fine" she lies, eyes drifting down to her and Mattys intertwined hands, before looking at Matty, who was silently begging her to just tell the truth, sympathising with the fact she felt she had to lie to them.

"What did the ones out there say?" Ross points to the window, the people who were there now gone, which he's thankful for because he was one word from going out there and shouting at them.

"They said something about me moving onto George and then called me a slag" she says, looking down at her coffee cup, fiddling with the china.

"Moving on to G- Oh" Matty says, eyes finding hers again, eyebrows furrowing to say sorry, he shakes his head, letting her know she has nothing to say sorry for.

"I was just holding her hand" George explains, making the rest nod "That's why you needed that didn't you? You were worried they were going to say something" he asks and she nods at him.

"How long has this been happening?" John asks.

"A while...." She admits and in unison they all sigh.

"Love, why didn't you tell us? We would've-" Matty starts.

"Would've done what Matty? There's nothing you can do" she says, voice breaking slightly.

"We would've at least known Lou. We go through these things together, that's what family is'' Ross explains and she lets a rogue tear fall. She suddenly feels embarrassed that they're having this coffee in the middle of a random coffee shop (albeit an empty one with one waitress but still)

"I'm sorry" she says, her voice frail.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Matty says, and she's the one squeezing his hand now.

"We will get through this together, if this happens again, you come to us and you tell us okay? Any one of us" Adam says and she nods.

They were a family after all.

They finish their drinks after that, they all stand from their chairs, slipping their jackets on.

"Think we're going to head back" Ross says and a few of the others nod. Matty and Lou share a look, explaining that they wanted to keep exploring and so they do. Ross is the first to pull her into a tight hug, only letting her go when her grip on him loosened. Adam is the next to squeeze her into his arms, his hand drifting along her back in a soothing motion.

George hugs her tightly next, whispering an "id kill anyone who would hurt you, you know that" and she smiles and nods as she pulls away. John gives a quick hug before they're all being ushered out by Matty, who secretly wanted nothing more to comfort her on his own now.

They continued walking along random paths, down streets that had little shops and stalls, popping into a few to see what they were selling.

At some point, Matty's hand brushes against hers and she grabs it, he looks down at their intertwined hands, a smile on his face.

"You sure?" He says, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"We'll deal with the consequences together, yeah?" She asks and he nods, bringing their hands up to his mouth and pecking the surface of hers.

"Then I'm sure," she confirms. They walk around the rest of the day like that, eventually finding their way back to the hotel.

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They briefly wait outside the hotel, sharing a cigarette between them and sharing a few tight hugs, ones that let Lou know Matty had her. Before they're hiding away in their room because Matty can sense that she needs to be alone (with him of course).

She finds a comfortable position on his chest as his arms wrap around her, keeping her warm and safe. Usually listening to someone's heartbeat would make her anxious, something about the rhythm impacting her own, but she felt grateful to hear his. She felt like it made her know him more, it was intimate, hearing when it picked up or slowed down, when it skipped a beat: it was like his own symphony and she was just fascinated by it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice something was up” he says, frowning down at her, she simply shakes her head and presses a peck to his mouth, letting him know it was okay.

"Tell me what other people have said" he says softly, his fingertips flowing through her hair, the soft strands easily gliding in-between his fingers.

"I can't Matty it hurts too much" she admits now it's just them. She doesn't have to lie around him, or pretend she's fine when she's not. She can just be.

"I know love, I know. But talking about it might help" he says and she's turning in his arms then, looking over his features. He truly was a very handsome man, she never once questioned why fans fancied him so much. She lets out a deep sigh before she starts talking.

"Couple of people have said you guys could have hired someone better to replace Carly" he scoffs at that, placing a kiss against her cheek as he murmurs "there is no one better". One of the cracks in her heart heals at those words. She wants to tell him the one that hurts the most but she's scared: scared he'll confirm her worries, reject her thoughts and feelings (like so many had done previously).

She sighs deeply again, shutting her eyes as she says "someone... A few people actually… have said your ex's were prettier than me... Nicer... Better for you" she admits, her last admission is the one that destroys her. He's silent for way too long and her eyes snap open to see him.

She's rarely seen him look upset but God he looks upset now. His lips are set in a clear pout, the bottom one almost wavering as he sets his eyes over her features, his eyes almost glisten, he's not crying, but his eyes are like glass, tears almost threatening to spring.

"Lovie" he says, frowning down at her, she's trying to sense what he's thinking but falls short. What she would do to crawl inside his mind now.

"Want to know the truth?" He asks and she nods.

"Always" she says, partly worried she wouldn't like what he has to say.

"I compared every single one of them to you... It wasn't fair... Not on them because some, most of them were lovely. I never ever, not once, gave myself to someone fully... I looked for you in everyone. You made it pretty hard to be honest..." He admits laughing at his own confession and she doesn't know what to say. Another confession that shocks her to her core.

Her mouth opens before it's shutting again.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know. Know that you, you are everything I have ever wanted and nothing came close to you. I'm never letting you go. You are living up to every single one of my expectations, superseding them even" he says. All she can do is press her mouth to his, letting him know everything she couldn't bring herself to say.

I love you, you're my person, no one has come close to you either, this is the best thing that has happened to me....

She knows one day she'll tell him but for now, she presses her lips to his, moving herself so her legs are resting either side of his body. His hands find her hips as his back leaves the bed, holding her against him as she straddles him.

She breaks away from him for a split second, removing her top, his eyes don't break from hers, not even to look at her chest which is now revealed. His stare is intense, one that would usually make her confidence falter, make her doubt herself, but now, basking in his light, she felt safe, seen. His stare tells her what he thinks of her, utterly obsessed and addicted.

He bridges the gap between their lips again, moving downwards after a few minutes of loving pecks. His lips find her neck, scattering loving kisses along the skin, just simple but firm pecks.

"You're beautiful" he says as he delivers a kiss to her collar bone. Hands drifting from her hips to her waist, taking his time with her, something that was yet to happen.

Everything so far between them had been rushed, each of them desperate to show each other their desire, their passion, their need for one another.

She wasn't scared this time, she was ready to have him in this way. To show each other they loved each other even if they couldn't bring themselves to say it.

His mouth finds the swell of her right breast, hovering over the warm flesh, lips coming down to press firm kisses to the skin. Her hands find the curls at the nape of his neck, playing with strands gently.

His breath is shallow, mind toying with the idea of undoing her jeans, but not wanting to rush the moment. She looks so perfect, sitting in his lap, her jean clad core flush against his. She felt him through her jeans, already solid and desperate for her.

"I'm so lucky" he murmurs against her chest as his hands find the clasp of her bra. His movements are far too slow for her liking, almost painfully so.

"Matty" she sighs as her bra finally comes undone, crumbling into his hands. He discards it somewhere unseen as his calloused fingertips toy with her flesh. His touch is gentle, barely there, but still manages to send shock waves of pleasure coursing through her entire body.

His fingertips delicately move across her nipples, making them pebble under his touch. She has never had anyone be this gentle with her before and it was the least she was expecting from a man like Matty. But he was always one to surprise her, everything she had learned about him so far had been a pleasant surprise, this perhaps her favourite of all. He would usually struggle to be this way with someone, but with her it almost came naturally to him, he needed, more than anything else, to show how how he truly felt.

"Want to take my time with you okay? Is that okay?" He asks, wanting them to be on the same page. She's nodding as he mouths at her skin, mouth wrapping around her nipple, sucking tenderly at the peaked bud. His lips move down in-between her breast, pressing against the necklace he gifted before reaching the other nipple, tongue teasing it gently. She can't help it as her hips rut against his at the amount of pleasure it causes her.

His hands move back down to her hips then and he's slowly lifting her, placing her onto the other side of the bed, back flush against the soft comforter.

Her hands find his shirt, lifting it over his head, revealing his tattooed chest. She stares at him from her place on their bed, how his thighs are parted, accommodating her small body, how the chest scattered with tattoos that she loves is clenching under touch, how he can't help but place his bottom lip in his teeth as he watches her.

Her eyes drift up to his face, his brown orbs almost perforating into her skin, clouded by something much greater than lust or desire: love. She can't count the amount of times he had changed his hair in the time she had known him, but this, this was her favourite, when the curls sat awry on his head, the grey strands drifting among the black, almost unnoticeable at a mere glance.

She was absolutely besotted with him and the fact didn't scare her anymore: she welcomed it.

Her lips are the ones to press against his skin now, dedicating a whole file in her mind to how he felt against her, how the centre of his chest dipped and how his waist curved inwards almost too much, reminiscent of the days in which he abused his body. He was healthier now and muscle had built up in the places where there once was only skin and bone. Even back then, through all the hate she found him beautiful, there was something about him that was unlike anyone she had ever met, but now she knows he is the most beautiful person both inside and out.

"You're beautiful Matty" she admits and the confession has him pulling her away from his chest, assaulting her lips in a passionate kiss. No one had ever used that word to describe him before and he found his heart jumped in his chest as he heard her say it.

His tongue moves against hers languidly, strong movements that have her eyes fluttering although already shut. Her small hands find his jaw, not wanting him to leave her mouth just yet, so he continues his ministrations, tongue curving around hers as sighs fall from one person to the other. She feels stubble under her fingertips and she smiles against his mouth, breaking them apart for a second.

He stares into her eyes, pupils blown wide matching her own. Their lips are both swollen, cheeks tinted red as they smile at each other.

His hands find the button of her jeans "may I?" He asks. "Please do" she says quietly.

He tugs them down her legs, careful not to be too aggressive with his actions. He wanted to show her how he truly felt about her, he needed to show her how grateful he was that she was here, with him. He knows she could have any guy in the world but she wanted him, he knew if he thought about that fact he's ego would inflate too much so he focuses on her.

He's quick to rid himself of his own jeans, making her chuckle before his body is resting above hers again.

He chuckles "sorry got a bit excited" he says making her giggle under him.

His mouth finds hers again in another round of passionate kissing. His hand drifts along her skin again, drifting along her now exposed thighs.

He hooks her right leg over his hip, flattening his core against hers, she sighs at this, mouth agape. It felt like every sense of hers was heightened, such a simple gesture making her see stars. He hadn't even properly touched her yet and she already felt on cloud nine.

"Matty, please touch me" she pleads, eyes finding the man above her. His features soften at her words, he doesn't say anything, simply lets his hand drift in between her thighs, meeting her underwear with the pads of his fingers.

One touch and she's moaning into his mouth, it was barely audible but he heard it. His fingers hook into her underwear pulling them down until she's revealed to him.

"So so beautiful" he murmurs, lips finding the shell of her ear.

His touch is feather light against her folds, carefully pressing up into her, making blissful sighs fall from her mouth, making sure he catches everyone with his own. She feels every ridge, every crease and indent in his fingers, the pads calloused from years of playing guitar. His fingers were rough in every sense of the word, a juxtaposition of how they were moving against her.

"So wet for me" he sighs.

He presses two fingers gently inside her, resisting the urge to press his own hips into hers at how she clenches around him. Airy gasps and moans are captured by his mouth.

"Matty" he would never tire of her saying his name. His cock pulses under the confines of his boxers, the way she's saying his name, like it's the only one she knows, it satisfies his deepest desires. He's curving his fingers up into her now, caressing the deepest parts of her, the spongy bundle of nerves being massaged with every deliberate trust.

"Matty" she sighs "I need you" she says and he groans into her.

"Don't worry I've got you, love" he says, knowing exactly what she needed because he needed the same thing. She helps him rid himself of his underwear, her hands wander in-between their bodies, grasping his hard member in her hands, he shakes his head, not needed the foreplay right now, he just needed her, desperately. He quickly finds his place back in-between her hips, leg hooking onto his hip as the tip of him threads through her cunt.

He slowly pushes all the way in, bottoming out as they sigh together. He holds himself there, deep inside her as she adjusts to the size of him, it wasn't their first time but it felt different like this, more intense. All she can do is grip him, making sure he doesn't move from her, she needs him here, close.

"My love.... Oh my love" he sighs against her ear, needing a minute to adjust as she clenches around him.

He places gentle kisses against her closed eyelids and they snap open as he draws his hips back slowly, pushing back in when the head of him reappears.

Their eyes never waver from each other, holding contact throughout. His movements are deep and meaningful, languid strokes of his hips sending his cock into places he had never reached before. His grunts are quiet, delivered into her ear so only she can hear.

His hand grips her bent knee at his hip, the angle forcing his cock into her sweet spot with every intentional thrust of his hips. Her mouth falls open against his chest, sighing into the skin, not wanting anyone to hear them. This moment was about them and them only.

Her mouth opens and then shuts, not able to speak with the amount of pleasure that was creeping its way up her spine.

He wants nothing more than to tell her he loves her but he's afraid she'll run away if he does. His pelvis is pressed against her clit with how deep he is and she's sighing into his mouth at the feeling.

She takes his hand in hers, pressing it against her abdomen " feel how deep you are Matty. No one has ever been this deep before" she groans. Her words have him almost cumming on the spot and his movements falter for a second, causing him to tip forward suddenly, sending him up and into her harshly, not the pace he wanted at the given moment. She gasps at the feeling regardless of whether he meant to or not.

"Keep saying stuff like that and I'll be done for" he says making her chuckle before the noise is replaced by a high pitched moan, his mouth pressing against hers to catch it.

This wasn't fucking, this was making love, their bodies telling each other everything they were too afraid to say.

A particular push forward of his hips accompanied by his fingers circling her clit has her sighing loudly, grasping his chin and forcing her lips against his. She didn't want anyone to hear this, this was a moment for just them, their own little secret.

"My beautiful darling girl" he grunts against her mouth.

"I lo-" he nearly says those words but her mouth presses firmly against his, not letting him say it just yet. He didn't need to because she already knew.

"I know" she says, nodding up at him, letting him know that she did too.

"Feel so good Matty" she sighs, his hips pulling out and pushing back in, her core convulsing around him, clenching against his girth as euphoria washed over her features. She was truly on cloud nine with him, everything else seeming to disappear.

"Fuck" he says, hips snapping forward a bit faster as he drew closer to his end.

Tears spring at her eyes as his hips pull back, snapping back in, the tip of him massaging her spot. Her eyes are closing as a tear falls, he’s kissing it away and her eyes open then. She had never felt Iike this before, not once had someone been able to make her feel this good. She was being loved the way she deserved.

"Matty" she sighs, back arching off the bed as her hands grip his back, pulling him closer if possible. His forehead rests against hers as he looks down at where they meet.

"Look how well you're taking me love. Fucking made for me" he says, her eyes snapping to where they're joined.

"Baby" she sighs. Her mouth hangs open, and he finds her eyes again, almost boring into her soul.

Euphoria takes over features and he knows she's close.

"Let go love" he says and that's all it takes. Her back arches even more off the bed and she all but sobs as a pleasure like she has never felt washes over her entire body. Her body spasms, her right hand resting against the pillows next to her head, he leans forward, grasping her hand in his.

"I've got you love, I've got you" he says, continuing his movements through her high. His mouth hangs open as his own high dawn's on him, he had never felt like this either. He had never really made love to someone before and he thought he'd feel vulnerable but with her, all he felt was loved.

"Oh god" he moans, hips spluttering forward as he reaches his own peak. He's cumming hard, harder than he thinks he ever has, long hot spurts of his cum coating her walls.

"So good" he says as their lips meet in one last passionate kiss. He pulls out of her, landing on his back next to her, completely high on everything that was her and this moment.

He pulls her to his chest, kissing her as she still comes down from her high.

"That was amazing" she sighs, completely fucked out.

"You're amazing, thank you" he says and she smiles at him, pressing another kiss to his lips, simply not able to get enough.

"Thank you" she says. He gets up to clean them both off, checking if she needs anything before returning to her. They stare at each other for a while, stupidly happy smiles resting on their lips.

Lou eventually presses her cheek against Matty's bare chest, her fingertips trailing across the skin, down to his torso, light touches drifting along his collar bones, in between his pecs, along the centre of his abdomen, finally caressing the "we are kings" tattoo she has grown to love.

Matty was breathing lightly above her, post orgasm high still coursing through his body, his own fingertips playing with her hair, occasionally pressing kisses against the top of her head.

The scene was something they had both grown comfortable with now, they craved it all hours of the day: up on stage in front of thousands of people, just among their friends and especially when it was just the two of them.

He began humming something, something unrecognisable but unmistakably pretty.

"Sounds pretty" she says, her voice barely a whisper.

"Pretty?" He asks, moving the hair from her face so he could see her. She looks up at him from her place on his chest, nodding and smiling when his face crunches up, not liking her confession.

"Don't want our music to sound 'pretty' love" he admits.

"Well it does, so deal with it" she says, turning to get a better look at him. She places a kiss on his scrunched up nose.

She wriggles about for a bit, trying to get comfortable, he grunts above her as she stabs and pokes him as she moves.

He doesn't mind though, he'd go through hell just for her needs. She finally settles, palms flat against his chest, her legs resting in between his parted ones, her face resting against her hands and she can finally see all of his face: including his untamed curls that sit askew atop his head.

He likes this position, he can see her face too now, can see how her eyes sparkle as she looks at him and smiles. Despite the both of them being completely naked, neither felt vulnerable.

"'All I Need To Hear' is a pretty song.... So is inside your mind, this must be my dream, when we are together, about you ,Falling for you, tonight (I wish I was your boy) me and you together song " she says, listing songs of his she thought sounded pretty and he groans at that, making her laugh again.

"alright I get it love" he chuckles, cutting her off and making her laugh and she presses a kiss to his chest.

"You're a pest you know that" he says and she nods up at him, smiling widely, making him smile too. His fingertips drift along her cheek, resting against her chin and pulling gently so she raises slightly. He presses his lips against hers then, making her sigh in bliss.

"You know you just listed several songs that were written about you" he says, making her shoot up to look at him.

"You can't tell me that," she says, making him laugh. She lies back down on his chest.

"Is my whole life a lie?" She says dramatically (on purpose) making him laugh and place more kisses against her lips.

"Tell me you love me" he murmurs against her lips, she wants nothing more than to break away and talk about his words but she can't bring herself to do so quite yet. So she allows him to keep pressing gentle kisses to her lips, getting carried away when he starts to press firmer ones, ones where his tongue peeks through his lips and presses against hers. After what had just happened she supposed it needed to be said. She feels him pull her away and her eyes open to find him.

"Tell me you love me" he repeats, his voice barely audible in the large hotel room. She thinks she knows him quite well now, and she thinks she knows why he's asking her.

"Can't seem to bring yourself to say it first?" She asks, whispering back at him. He's scared, although he has no reason to be.

"If I tell you that..." He begins but his voice trails off. He was truly scared that if he opened his heart in that way, she would reject him, or things would go wrong, afraid he'd lose her.

"Matty" she says, and his eyes shut, not wanting to look at her. One look and he'd be spilling his heart out.

"Matty, baby look at me" she says firmly making his eyes drift open to look at her again.

"You know you're not going to lose me right? Especially after what just happened" She says and he nods hesitantly.

"Matty, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me now I'm afraid" she says. He simply leans down to kiss her again. The kiss is more passionate than the last one they shared.

"I love you sweetheart" he says as he pulls away, his eyes are tearing up slightly and she smiles a soft smile at him.

"I know Matty, I know. I love you too, more than anything" she admits before pressing her lips to his again. She goes to pull away but he lightly pulls her forward by the necklace that rests around her neck, the necklace he got her, the necklace that proves to the both of them that he's hers and she is his.

"Not ready for you to leave quite yet" he mumbles against her lips.

"Okay Matty" she smiles against his mouth.

They cuddle after that, Matty is the little spoon for a while before he's turning them, insisting on "wrapping the woman he loved" as he so blatantly put it, up in his arms.

He's repeating the three words throughout the night, some of them she heard, some of them she didn't (having fallen asleep in his arms) but that was okay. He had years of catching up to do, might as well get a head start he thought.

They were truly insatiable, waking every few hours and making love, various I love you's falling into the empty room. Each time seemed to be more intense than the last, until both of them are nearly crying into each other. They laughed with each other about how pathetic it was, but they were happy. The happiest either of them had ever been.

Part 8

Note: hope everyone liked this chapter, please let me know what you think and what you want to see... Even if it's not something directly linked to the story, could just be a Matty x Lou concept... Also help everyone is doing okay despite everything. Remember I love you

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