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darkphoenix07 · 8 months

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Elixir of 🕸️Death (J.W)

A vampire series by @darkphoenix07

Mental health request

Masterlist

Paring : Wooyoung x Reader

Genre : Dark Romance, Fantasy, Tragedy

Song suggestion 🎶 : Listen before I go by Billie Eilish, House of cards ♠️ by BTS.

Warning ⚠️ : Mentions of blood, Violence, Degradation, Death, Mention of suicide.

Synopsis : When the girl who doesn't have any will to live meets the demon whose only wish to slaughter humans.

"How will it help me if I drain your blood right now when I can use you anyway I want to?"

- Jung Wooyoung

🍷 "To the people who craves comfort and a single reason to keep themselves alive" 🍷

"There lived my beloved

Weeping for some love

Chasing delicate poisons

To keep her soul alive"

Staring at the ripples, the only thing that comes in your mind is, "If you jump here, how long it will take for you to lose your senses at a point that you won't feel that you've stopped breathing."

Death has always fascinated you. Not only because you were drawn to it through the circumstances of your life. It was because the times you were standing in front of the death valley and how it felt when you were there. They were the only times you felt free, you didn't have any sort of thoughts that would break you or you didn't think of giving someone any explanation.

Unfortunately, you were saved each time by someone which has started to patrify you nowadays.

At a time, you started to feel like you were doing fine. You were thinking that you are alive that was enough for everyone. Like you, others were grateful for you not giving up on your life. But in the end of the day, people got tired of your existence, the way you behaved, the sentences you spoke. It all became a havoc for them, you and your breath.

You relentlessly keep walking by the river through the forest. People call it Red Forest because they think someone ominous lives here and eats people alive. They call that person demon, vampire, werewolf, siren and many more. Because no one knows what it is living here for centuries and no one comes back from this forest alive.

You thought a multiple times that if you end up going back home alive after wondering around here, you'll give up on dying thinking that even God doesn't want to take you back to Him. So, it will only be fair to stop pushing yourself.

Even the moon is hiding from you tonight and there are no animas around. It feels like you are in an empty arena filled with old trees and the river alongside. The cold breeze are now running through your veins. You think if that demon doesn't kill you tonight, the heavy winds may as you are shivering to death.

Your pale blue short dress with love shape front and long sleeves is not enough to keep you warm. You intensionally left your overcoat home but maybe it was too much brutal for you as well.

As you walk a little further, you notice an old mansion with black woods. There was no light inside, you thought but something about the house started to pull you closer.

Maybe the sweet delicate smell of old woods or maybe the little fireflies around the windows wanting some shelter inside. You gotta say that the house was creepy yet the decorations were lively.

You stand in front of the door and knock on the door with your knuckles not finding any bell to ring. Maybe hoping for some horror to find you and filing your wishes.

The town you live in is called "Melanite." The houses here are old and because of this forest there are no developments in here. So you thought this house was one of them and maybe no one lives here.

But someone opens the door leaving you slightly shocked.

His red eyes glimmered in the dark but you couldn't see him properly only his black attire. A sleeveless shimmery shirt and some ribbon around his throat. His pants are loose around his ankles and hiding his boots underneath.

"What do you want?"

His voice is raspy and vouge. It takes you a minute to understand what he asked.

"I am-"

Before you can utter another word, he grabs your wrist and pulls you into the mansion. Closing his door by your back, he pins your hand behind your waist. Your instincts made you close your eyes but when you start feeling his cold breathe on your face, you look into those glimmering eyes staring into yours.

He is twisting your hand behind your back but all you can see is his beautiful shaped face. How perfectly sharped his jawline is, how beautiful his pale skin looks and his terrifying eyes, they look like crimson crystals or drop of blood you can't decide.

"Are you here to unalive me, Ms? How foolish of them to send a pretty woman in front of my door thinking I will be hypnotized. But they don't know I've seen thousands of beauties like you, drained their blood with my own fangs and ripped them apart one by one."

You thought he is going to say something more but you staring at him like you have seen the most beautiful thing on the earth caught him off guard.

He leaves your hand and crosses his hands around his chest, "Who sent you this time?"

"I came here alone," you tell him the truth but he doesn't believe a word you say. Instead he thumps his hands beside you and stops inches away from you.

"Don't lie to me. There are people outside, right?" He asks you again and this time you smile.

"Tell me if these are lenses or you are a real monster?" You ask him again catching him off guard by your words.

"Lenses? What kind of weapon are they? You think I need weapons?" He says and you smile again shaking your head.

"So you are a monster, you are not playing dumb. I'm glad to know they exist."

"You better tell me who are you or I'll drain you right n-"

"Are you afraid of humans?" You cross your hands this time throwing him the question.

"How dare you ask me that? Why would I be afraid of some puny species!"

He backs off of you like he felt wronged by your question and you start to chuckle.

"Are you really alone?" He asks you making you stop chuckling.

You look at him then through the window of the dark living room, "You have no idea."

You don't hear anything from him for a while until he opens the door, looks around and again closes it, "I smell no human."

"I am glad," you reply sarcastically but he doesn't catch it.

"Why are you glad? Are they inside my home?" He asks you starting to look around.

"NO!" You almost scream in frustration.

"Then how did you find this place?" He asks you calmly this time.

You thought if there is something to explain or you should straight up tell him what you really want.

Then, "You are a vampire, ha? That was supposed to be a myth but you are truly real," you don't know why your words sound very lame to you.

But he took it nicely, "As you can see, I am. I am not the only one, there are more hidden among humans too."

It gives you shiver but you forget about it as soon as you remember what is the reason you came here for.

"I want you to do something for me."

"Are you ordering me?" His voice become hoarse than before. It's so vivid whenever he is mad.

You look down and start to play with your nails as you speak up, "I want to give you all of my blood right now."

"What? Did you mix anything in your blood? Is that what you were pl-"

"No, I just... I don't want to live anymore. I have been searching an easy way to do so but I couldn't. I failed too many times and I am tired. I can't do it myself anymore," you sounded pathetic but that's just how you are.

"You want me to drain you? You look already pale," you look at him hearing concern in his voice.

You have always been an empath and it helped you understanding everyone so well yet you never knew that a vampire could feel anything let alone concern.

"I just want you to drain me enough that I die. You'll get some blood and I'll get what I want," you tell him all these like you are doing some business deal.

The way he looked at you told you otherwise, "I am hungry. I haven't had blood for two months. If I really start, I wouldn't be able to stop."

"I don't want you to stop."

"Do you realize how pathetic you sound right now? Don't you have any value of your life?"

"If I had, I wouldn't come here knowing a monster lives here."

"I can turn you if you want to. You can l-"

"Did I say I want to live forever? I said I don't want to live a second so for God's sake kill me!"

Your knees starts trembling with your lips. You start feeling numb by the coldness you feel on your skin. You tried getting better being a person but you ended up hurting people, making a massacre. You tried to find any single reason for you to live but you only see yourself as a worst kind of omen.

"Alright then," you hear him say and feel him moving through the cold winter wind, coming in front of you.

You know, you couldn't run away now. Your legs have already given up on you.

But the thing is, you don't want to run away.

You flinch when you feel his index finger on your chin lifting your face up, "A birdy has come to my cage willingly tonight," he starts walking forward and you start walking backwards hearing his words.

"Do you think I will kill her just like that?" He smirks and one of his fangs shows up.

You can't hear anything without your own heartbeat. Even the wind is silent. You want to take a deep breath but it feels like something is stuck in your throat.

"Look I just want to die. I d-"

"I want to keep you safe for my long time meal. Killing you with one go won't give me fun," he grabs your chin and pull your face closer to his as he bends over you.

"I will feed you and kill you everyday. Because blood doesn't taste good when you don't have any fear in your veins."

Suggest me songs you may think can be suitable for this series. *Wink* *wink*

Chapter 2 ( Drain or Drown )

Chapter 3 ( Death Deal )

Chapter 4 ( Bloody Comfort)

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tryzine · 28 days

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ZINE FAQ

General Questions:

What is a fanzine? - A fanzine is a little magazine made up of contributions from fans of a certain series/show/sport/whatever. In this case, "The Reason is You" is a zine focused around Spiderbit/Guapoduo, and it'll have people contributing from all over the globe!

What is this zine about? - This zine is specifically about Guapoduo as they are on the QSMP Minecraft Server. That is to say: a canon setting with canon relationship dynamics.

Can we include Obsessedduo/Devotionduo/Mafiaduo/the Guapoverse? - Unfortunately, not this time. This zine focuses specifically on their canon relationship. You don't have to write specifically about canon events like the wedding or Festa Junina, and you can include just about any headcanon you like- Catboy Cellbit, Spider-Roier, Trans Headcanons, etc- but it will be set within the canon setting.

Is this zine related to [Insert Fandom Event/Zine Here]? - Nope, this is a standalone project, but those other things sure sound cool!

How old do I have to be to apply? - Technically you can be any age, but what will actually matter is the portfolio you'll be submitting on the application. Unfortunately there will be a bias towards experience, but don't let that get you down! Feel free to try, you never know!

When will the applications go out? - The actual applications will go out as soon as they're finished being written and translated into Spanish and Portuguese, so give us a week or two. They WILL be out by the end of April, though.

When will we know if we got in? - Since we're expecting over 100 applications, it'll take us a minute to go through them all and decide who gets in! It'll depend on exactly how many applications we get, but we're anticipating reaching out to contributors via email sometime in early May.

How will we know if we got in? - On the application, you'll be giving us your email address. If you get in, you'll get an email from us with the discord server's link and a big ol' Parabens!!!

Do we have to have both a Twitter and a Tumblr? - Nope! Not necessary, just come with what you've got!

Do we have to have a Discord account? - Yes! After emails are sent, it will be mandatory for all admins, guests, and contributors to be part of the Discord server for the project. You won't need to be online every day, but you will need to have @ notifications turned on, and you'll need to be open to receiving dms from admins when it comes to check-ins.

What is the zine's exact schedule? - We're actually finalizing the dates as I write this post, and we'll keep you guys updated. Because of the bug impacting our collective ability to enter Twitter, the project may have to be pushed back a week or so just to keep things even. We're having to adjust for that. But we WILL get a schedule out ASAP, and it will be before the applications go live.

Will we have to do anything in November as contributors? What do you mean by it "ending" in November? - The way the schedule is currently projected, writers and artists will actually be done with their work around the end of August/beginning of September. After that, translators will have September and October to translate. Then, the people helping put everything together into the zine proper (graphic designers, admins, etc.) will be working through the end of October into November to finalize things and get the zine out by the end of November.

What do you mean by "applications", anyway? Do we have to try out for this zine? - In order to keep things fair, we're going to have people apply to be in the zine. This will eliminate bias and keep us admins from just letting Big Creators and Our Friends in. This way, everybody has an equal shot!

What do you mean by "writer and artist collaborations"? - The way these would work is that we the admins would pair together a writer and an artist who both indicated in their applications that they would be cool with a collaboration with a random person. After matching them together, we'd tell them in their emails that they're working with each other. From there, they'd come up with a concept together, and the writer would write it and the artist would Art it. The specifics would be up to them.

Are collaborations mandatory? - Nope! There will be an option on the applications that tell us whether or not you want to do a collaboration. It's totally optional.

Are we only working with people we share a language with? - While we might stick, say, two Portuguese speakers together for easier communication when it comes to collaborations, the zine will be made up of people from all over the globe speaking all sorts of languages! The discord server comes with a translation bot in it and everything.

Will there be merchandise? (Ex: wallpapers, icons, physical merchandise) - Unfortunately, no. This will be a free zine, and we will not be accepting personal donations from readers or contributors. This is for several reasons, but the most important reason is that it's for Legal Reasons. We don't own the copyrights to these characters or the QSMP Server, and we don't feel comfortable profiting off of them.

Then how can we pay for the zine? - You don't! BUT, if it can be worked out properly, there will be an option to donate what you want to a charity of our choice. If you want to pay for this zine, just pay what you would want to to that charity when the time comes.

Will there be a physical version of the zine? - Nope! This is a digital zine only. It will be released via pdf and maybe epub for anybody to download for free. This is for cost reasons, yes, but also because we want anybody anywhere to be able to read this zine regardless of whether or not they can afford international shipping.

Writer Questions

What am I supposed to write? - Pretty much anything you like as long as it's set within canon! No need to stick with actual events, again, just no crazy AU stuff. If you have specific questions, you can ask an admin once the writing process begins in May.

What is the word count? - Writers will be expected to write within a range of 1,000 to 3,000 words, but allowances will be made for more or less upon discussion with an admin.

Will poetry be allowed? - Sure! Any kind of writing will be allowed, just have it in your portfolio when you apply.

What do you mean "portfolio"? - When you fill out the application, you will be asked to submit 2-3 previous works. Threadfics, Wattpad fics, Ao3 links, whatever it is! The will be more details within the application itself, don't worry.

Do we have to write in English? - Nope! Write in your native language... but I will say that there will only be translations for English, Spanish, and Portuguese. We'd love to have, say, a German or French translation, but we only have so much manpower, and we don't want translators working overtime for free.

Artist Questions

What kinds of art are allowed in the zine? - Any kind of art! It can be digital or traditional. As long as you can provide a clear and clean scan/photo of any traditional work and provide that to the admins when the time comes, it'll be fine!

What about non-traditional artworks? (Ex: crochet, sculptures) - That's all fine! Again, just give us a clear photo, and it's fine!

Do we have to draw Guapoduo themselves? Or can we draw things related to them? - As long as it relates back to Guapoduo as a focus, it's fine. So you can draw a landscape of, say, Cellbit's Castle or the wedding venue.

What will be on our applications? - Just like writers, you'll be asked to provide a portfolio of 2-3 previous works. More information will be on the applications themselves.

Translator Questions

What will our schedule look like? - As mentioned earlier, you won't be doing too much work until the last bit of the zine's creation. Don't sweat it.

What languages will we be translating from/to? - The three languages the zine will be translated into are English, Spanish, and Portuguese. To be a translator, you'll need to have a level of fluency in at least two of these languages.

What will be on our application? - You can provide a portfolio if you have experience with translating, but there will also be a little bit of a test on your applications. If all goes according to plan, you'll indicate what language you would like to translate from and then into, and you'll then be given a passage to translate. That translation will then be checked by our admin team.

Do we need heavy translation experience? - Not necessarily, but, again, there will be a test on the application. It's just a necessary precaution.

Graphic Designer Questions

What do you mean by "graphic designer", exactly? - By this, we're talking about someone who knows how to do page layouts. We're gonna need your help putting the zine together and then exporting it in a pdf. (Like, Adobe InDesign type of stuff.)

What will be on our application? - Again, a portfolio will be required. For this, we won't require as many pieces, though. As long as you can prove you know how to use programs that can Make Book, or as long as you can show your expertise in page layout and management, we're good.

THIS FAQ WILL BE ADJUSTED AS THE PROCESS CONTINUES. IT IS NOT YET COMPREHENSIVE.

#Tryzine #long post

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poopraven · 11 months

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Hello! I'd like to tell you about a book I wrote. It'll be coming out on Friday the 26th of May 2023.

I'm extremely proud of this one. I'm proud of them all, of course, but I think in this one I let myself get angry for, well, pretty much the whole book to be honest. Previous books in the series have bursts of queer rage, but this one definitely sustained it.

At its heart, it's a book that demands to know just how long we're supposed to do nothing while fascists kill us.

Now, fair warning, it is book 9 in an ongoing series. It won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't read the previous eight books. I'll get to that at the end of the post, but for now I want to stick with Runes of Fall.

No storm bows to reason.

Quentin's trip to the desert with his chosen family is supposed to be two days of testing the limits of their powers. Instead, a violent storm looms on the horizon, and nothing will alter its course.

The storm has a name: Nate Anderson. Demigod, supremacist, leader of a neo-Nazi Übermensch cabal... and father to Quentin's latest ward, Mel. He means to take her home, and won't let a ragtag group of "inferior" psychics get in his way.

Besieged and outgunned, Quentin is trapped in a no-win scenario. No matter which way he turns, one fateful night will change him forever.

Inheritance is a series best read in order, so if this is the first you've heard of it I strongly recommend that you start with Jack of Thorns, but keep going and I'll let you know how you can grab that for free. First, let me tell you more about it.

In Jack of Thorns, we meet Laurence and Quentin, two men with astonishing powers but little to no control over them. They are both adrift, traumatised, and doing what they can to get by one day at a time. Laurence is struggling to escape a toxic, abusive boyfriend who refuses to accept that their relationship is over, and Quentin spends as much of his time drunk as he possibly can.

Do they start out likeable? Opinion varies. But they learn, they grow, and they put in the work to improve themselves. They do their best, and sometimes they make mistakes, but the Laurence and Quentin in Runes of Fall are a world away from the Laurence and Quentin you first meet.

Heads up, there are some content warnings to take note of. In random order, they are: sexual intimacy, addiction, drug use, sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, incest, gaslighting, bullying, coercive control, kidnapping, domestic abuse, bigotry, classism, torture, post-traumatic stress, therapy, violence, peril, and death.

If you're still here, thank you for reading this far. I'd like to give you some links if you're interested in finding out more!

Jack of Thorns: https://books2read.com/jackofthorns

Runes of Fall: https://discoverinheritance.com/books/runes-of-fall

Discord server: https://discord.gg/reYUyTH9DJ

And, if you'd like, you can get all nine books at once - whether as ebooks, paperbacks (signed or unsigned), or audiobooks - from Kickstarter:

kickstarter

Thank you so much for your time. Please feel free to ask questions if you have them!

- AK.

#book recs #urban fantasy #indie books #lgbt books #lgbt author #indie author #queer books #books and novels #indie writers #indie writer #inheritance #ak faulkner #new release #mlm books #autistic adult #bisexual fiction #demisexual fiction

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seungminsbaldspot · 3 months

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Impenetrable - Chapter Three

Paring: Hybrid/Poly BTS x reader

Series Link: Impenetrable Masterlist

Word Count:

Warnings: cursing, mentions of death and killing

Taglist: Open

Notes: If you wanna join the taglist, comment and I will get it sorted for you!

IMPORTANT (PLEASE READ)

Prev / Next

Recap:

What now?" he asks, breaking the momentary silence. "Even if the pack decides to let you stay, Eanses won't take kindly to your failure."

You look down, “Death is really my only option here. Sounds gruesome but I am nothing to them, just some spendable life.”

The conversation is interrupted by the door swinging open. It’s Alpha. “The pack wants to meet you.”

Min Yoongi smiles, “I knew that this was gonna happen.” You tilt your head to the side, “Already? Are they not suspicious or like you know? Scared? I mean I was literally was sent here to kill them if needed?”

Min Yoongi's smile carries a hint of amusement, and he replies, "The pack has a way of sensing things. They can feel intentions, even hidden ones. And they've seen their fair share of threats. It takes more than a hidden assassin to make them cower."

You ponder his words, Their heightened senses and instincts seem to grant them an understanding that surpasses the ordinary. The dynamics within the pack hold mysteries that you're only beginning to grasp.

"But don't mistake their curiosity for acceptance," Min Yoongi adds, his expression more serious. "You're still on thin ice. Your past with Eanses won't be easily overlooked, and trust isn't something they give away freely." Right.

Alpha and MIn Yoongi lead you downstairs where the remaining five packmates are sitting in various places in the living room. Looking around you recognize them as the nicknames that You’ve given them.

Tall Guy is sitting beside Happy on the couch. Happy seems to be rather nervous, while Tall Guy is very calm - too calm. Tall Guy is seemingly comforting Happy. Tiger and Dog are sitting together on the other end of the couch that Tall Guy and Happy are sitting on. Strong Guy is sitting on the plush chair near the couch. Alpha and Min Yoongi lead you to another chair, but this one is wooden, and it’s sat in front of the Television. Yoongi stands beside the chair, motioning for you to sit, and you do. Alpha leaves and sits on the armrest of the plush chair that Strong Guy is sitting on.

As you sit in the wooden chair, surrounded by the pack, you can feel their collective gaze upon you. The room remains quiet, the unspoken tension thickening. The pack's judgment awaits, and you brace yourself for the questions, scrutiny, or decisions that may come.

“Sitting here, I just realized none of us have said our names, not even you.” Alpha pointed at you. Your eyes widen, “I’m y/n.” You introduce, Knowing that you were going to have to go first anyway. Min Yoongi nods, “I’m Yoongi, but I’m sure you already knew that.” He snickered.

“My name is Namjoon. And I’m the Alpha of this pack.” Bingo, You were right. You nod, “Jungkook” He nods curtly in awkwodledgemnt “I’m Seokjin. This is Hoseok.” Tall Guy or well Seokjin says and points to Happy, who you now know as Hoseok. “Taehyung.” Tiger says, very monotonely. Dog shakes his head, “Sorry about him, He’s in one of his moods, I’m Jimin.” Alpha, Or Namjoon as you should start to refer to him as, Nods.

“Great. Now that the introductions are over, We can get into what we all want to know.” Namjoon states, and the pack's collective attention sharpens. The room falls into a focused hush as Namjoon's words hang in the air. The pack's collective attention centers on you, and the weight of anticipation intensifies.

Namjoon, maintaining a composed demeanor, breaks the silence. "Why were you sent to kill Min Yoongi, and who sent you?"

The directness of Namjoon's inquiry cuts through the tension, and all eyes are on you, awaiting your response.

You sigh, only due to the fact that this is like the fifth time having to explain this to this pack. “As I have stated, I was taken to a hybrid lab.” You proceed to recount the familiar tale of your creation in the hybrid lab, the genetic manipulation, conditioning, and training that shaped you into an obedient and lethal being. The story unfolds, revealing the involvement of Eanses, their interest in your abilities, and the mission to eliminate Min Yoongi.

The pack listens attentively, their expressions ranging from curiosity to suspicion. The complexity of your past and the forces that have shaped you become clearer with each word you speak.

Namjoon remains stoic, his gaze unwavering as he absorbs the details of your story. The room remains silent as you conclude your explanation, leaving the pack to process the truth of your origins and the mission that brought you to their doorstep.

Namjoon breaks the silence, his voice measured, "Why did you choose to deviate from the mission? What made you hide among us instead of carrying out your orders?"

You meet Namjoon's gaze, aware that this question delves into the motivations that led to your unexpected deviation. “I couldn’t allow myself to fuck up a happy family.”

Your response echoes in the room, and a moment of quiet contemplation follows. The sincerity in your words carries the weight of your internal struggle and the unexpected bond that formed with the pack during your observation.

Namjoon's gaze lingers on you, and there's a flicker of understanding in his eyes. The pack members exchange glances, their expressions reflecting a mix of emotions, from skepticism to a subtle acknowledgment of the complexities that surround your existence.

Namjoon breaks the silence, "Deviation from a mission is a serious matter, and we can't ignore the potential threat you might still pose. However, we also recognize the choices you've made and the risks you've taken by revealing your past. Trust is not given lightly, but we'll deliberate on what's best for the pack."

Yoongi taps your shoulder, “Let’s go back to the room.” Following Yoongi's lead, you rise from the wooden chair, acutely aware of the lingering tension in the room. As you move with him towards the exit, a whimper from the couch captures your attention. Yoongi reassures the pack, waving his hand dismissively, "I'll be fine. You all already know where I stand."

The pack members exchange glances, their expressions hinting at the internal deliberation still taking place. The atmosphere remains charged with uncertainty, but you follow Yoongi out of the room, leaving the pack to continue their discussions.

Yoongi and you walk out of the room, and the tension from the pack's criticism follows. There's a hanging feeling about their decision, the weight of their considerations. The room's relative seclusion, away from the pack's questioning gaze brings you comfort.

Yoongi closes the door behind you, momentarily shielding the two of you from the outside world. The room turns into a calm refuge, providing a brief break from the complex dynamics taking place inside the pack.

Yoongi leans against the door, his expression unreadable. "We'll have to wait for their decision. Whatever happens, you need to be prepared for the consequences. The pack doesn't take these matters lightly." You could only nod.

Meanwhile, with the pack, the discussion of you was only getting started. “Is she not a threat to us? To Yoongi?” Taehyung grimaces. Namjoon

Namjoon, maintaining his role as the Alpha, addresses the pack, "Her past with Eanses is undoubtedly a cause for concern. However, she chose to reveal herself and explain her deviation from the mission. We need to consider her actions and the risks she took by doing so."

Tall Guy, or Seokjin, interjects, "She mentioned she couldn't allow herself to 'fuck up a happy family.' If she had ill intentions, she could have acted long before now."

The pack members exchange glances, each processing the information and weighing the potential risks and benefits of your presence among them.

Hoseok, or Happy, chimes in nervously, "But what if it's a trick? We can't let our guard down." Hoseok's nervous tone reflects a valid concern among the pack. The uncertainty surrounding your true intentions raises doubts and wariness among the members.

Namjoon, maintaining his Alpha role, addresses the pack with a measured tone, "Remaining cautious is essential. We can't afford to underestimate the potential risks. However, we also need to consider the choices she made, and the risks she took to reveal her past. It's not a decision to be made lightly."

"If she wanted to harm us, she's had plenty of opportunities. Maybe she’s being truthful?." Jimin says. Jungkook scoffs. “I think that’s your border collie side showing.” He grumbles out. Namjoon maintains his Alpha authority, "We can't dismiss the potential dangers, but Jimin has a point. If she wanted to harm, she's had opportunities. We need to weigh the information carefully before making a decision."

Seokjin sighs, “I think we should keep her. If we don’t she goes back to Eanses and gets killed.” He states calmly. Taehyung almost growls, “And if she stays, they come to us.” He argues. Namjoon takes a moment to weigh the options. "We need to be realistic about the risks involved. If we decide to keep her, we should be prepared for the consequences and take necessary precautions." The pack remains silent.

“So are we taking a vote?” Hoseok asks. Namjoon nods, “All in favor of letting her go back to Eanses, raise your hand.” Namjoon says, raising his hand. Jungkook and Taehyung both raise their hands. Namjoon counts, “Okay all who want her to stay.” Hoseok, Jimin, and Seokjin raise their hands. Jungkook scoffs, “So it’s a tie?” Seokjin shakes his head, “No. Yoongi wants her to stay too. Four vs Three. She’s staying.”

Taglist: @sophiaj650 @danielle143 @sweet-nothings467 @todorokikettlephobia @multi-fandomposts @cathy1514 @loumin908 @yooxverse @majesticbangtanot7 @famousdelusionobservation (idk why this tag isn't tagging im so sorry) @amimami1991 @deepestfacedevil

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barrenclan · 7 months

Note

Another aroace chiming in! The term you used for the cats, mateless, was very nice to me personally. Cause I'm in that boat too, it felt good and I felt represented as someone who only wants a platonic partnership vs actual romantic one It doesn't come off as you are saying all of us can't have relationships or sex. It feels more like a sliding scale that all aroace people have. Some want nothing to do with either ever, others enjoy it or want it, others seek either and its okay. We all don't fit into one box after all I feel like the picture of Pine, Com and Asph portrayed her thoughts well on what she wants No shade to the other anon, just giving another side! We all got our wants and desires. And what works for you won't work for others and visa versa But I'm glad you are willing to take crits if issues come up!

"Asexual" and "aromantic" themselves mean not-sexual and not-romantic, but of course a wide spectrum of people are contained within the bounds of those labels. Language is limited, and we can only do so much to specify it. This is especially applicable to a cat series where our own ideas about human sexuality don't apply, and they've got so many different words for things. Mateless works perfectly fine for Asphodelpaw and Egrettail but maybe wouldn't work for another cat. At the end of the day I'm a sex & romance neutral/negative aroace and I just wanna write about silly little kitties like me.

That was just something I wanted to say, by the way, your words are very kind and I'm glad to hear your perspective, anon. I'm always happy to take and respond to fair critique on my work.

This is definitely a great interpretation but Egrettail is the one who uses the word, not anyone in BarrenClan. Probably they'd use something much more nasty like "empty" or any equally disparaging word. Egrettail brings it up here, in Issue 21:

#ask #anon #egrettail

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ceilidhtransing · 6 months

Text

Here to once again sing the praises of Duolingo (and go on a long ramble about language learning)

I see a fair bit of criticism of Duo that essentially begins and ends with “Duolingo alone won't make you fluent”, stated as if it's obvious that this point alone is enough to totally condemn the app.

The thing is, “Duolingo alone won't make you fluent” is true*, but also a) pretty obvious to most dedicated language learners and b) not nearly enough to automatically render Duolingo not worth using.

[*It's also worth pointing out that “fluency” isn't really a single coherent concept: people can have radically different fluency levels across, for example, reading and speaking; different levels of proficiency can count as “fluent” in different settings depending on the needs of that setting; and not everyone learning a language is even aiming for “fluency” in the first place - though this also leads into a huge can of worms about the somewhat prevalent idea that fluency is the only worthwhile goal for learners and if you're not aiming to be fluent then it's a waste of time, but that's a discussion for another day.]

The value of Duolingo varies a lot by course, but my experience is that even though Duolingo alone won't “make you fluent”, the bigger, better-developed courses can take you a long way. Yes, obviously not to C2 “basically a native speaker” level, but pretty far. And that's personally where I find the app's real value: giving enough of a grounding in a language that other learning materials - short stories, podcasts, conversation groups, etc - become accessible. Of course Duolingo alone isn't going to make you fluent, but for a lot of learners it's an irreplaceable early tool on their journey towards proficiency.

Early on, when your level of knowledge of a language is zero or near-zero, so much of the struggle of learning is a feeling of total overwhelm as you try to figure out how to learn and find a method you'll stick to. Independent learning can feel like walking blindly through a maze of disparate and sometimes contradictory resources, some on grammar, some on vocab, some that say “start speaking immediately!”, some that say “get to grips with these grammar foundations before even trying to speak!”, some that insist there's no replacement for immersion, some that argue that immersion is like being thrown in the deep end and expecting yourself to swim, and this is where so many people burn themselves out. You can't read short stories or listen to podcasts when you know literally nothing of a language, and if you use a random unstructured assortment of materials then you'll probably end up learning grammar concepts in a very random and disconnected and confusing way. Duolingo bridges that early gap between “zero proficiency” and “some proficiency”, providing a structure that says “just keep doing this and you will watch your ability grow”.

Really, I think it's in precisely what “doing this” means that the disagreement arises. It's a very YMMV app, depending on how each person uses it. Someone using Duolingo for >30 minutes a day, making rapid and intense progress through their course, and seeking out alternative sources to clarify bits of grammar that they're confused by is having such a different experience from someone who does one lesson a day just to keep a streak going. Of course someone doing the latter isn't going to be “made fluent” that way - because there is no language-learning material on earth that is going to produce genuine progress with that little time and attention (and frankly there is no material on earth that is a 100% comprehensive standalone course from beginner to fluent and doesn't require any supplementation). Regardless of which material you're using - Duolingo, Babbel, Rosetta Stone, LanguagePod101, a YouTube series, a university course, a textbook, or any of the many other miscellaneous methods - time and attention is basically what it comes down to, and personally, in the beginner-to-intermediate stages of language learning, I've found Duolingo to have a pretty good ratio of “time and attention” to “language progress”.

Ultimately, Duo can be excellent at holding your hand through those early months of language learning, getting you to a point where you don't use “Duolingo alone”, because you now have enough confidence and grounding to supplement with things like short stories and podcasts and conversation partners - things that you would have found unbelievably daunting at the beginning, but that are now accessible to you thanks to a free app that guides you through a clear learning structure. I think that's great.

Zu lang, ich habe nicht gelesen - vielleicht bin ich noch nicht fließend, aber ich kann viel mehr mit Duo als ohne Duo sprechen :)

#duolingo #languages #language learning #learning languages #langblr #germanblr #german #learning german #linguistics #my posts

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rayslittlekitten · 7 months

Text

Spooky Time

“You Got This” Masterlist

A/N: I think writing "My First Night" kicked up some old feels for this universe. Here is a wholesome little nugget of them much younger. Jax and Opie as 14 and reader is 12.

Rating: T

Word Count: 806

Pairing: Teenager!Jax Teller & Preteen GN! Reader/OC; Teenager!Opie Winston & Preteen GN! Reader/OC (reader is F in the series, but this particular fic can be read as GN)

Plot: While Opie taunts you for being scared, Jax protects you.

Contains: sibling banter, cursing, protective!Jax, spoopy stuff

You stare up at the man-made haunted house towering in front of you. The fog, flashing lights and sounds of terror coming from a big speaker has you rethinking about tagging along with your brother and Jax. Since you were little, you've always followed them around and wanted to do everything they did. This is no exception. Every year during this time, you would all come to the County Halloween fair where they would have hayrides and all sorts of spooky activities. You always went on the kiddie rides, corn mazes, and have seemingly mild fun, but since Jax and Opie just started high school, they want to do older kids stuff, including the haunted house. This was one thing you always avoided, but you were sure you wanted to do this because Jax and Opie does.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Jax nudges you.

"I... I don't really feel too good. I think I ate too much funnel cake. I'll just wait for you guys," you reply.

"UGH! You know we can't leave you by yourself. You said you wanted to tag along so you have to do everything we're doing," your brother jumps in, annoyed.

A scream from inside the house spooks you, making you jump.

"Aww, are you scared?" Jax teases.

"N-no," you lie.

Opie rolls his eyes and huffs.

"Come on, it won't be that scary. I'll protect you, squirt."

Jax puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in closer, giving the top of your head a little tousle before guiding you inside the haunted house and following Opie who is leading the group. Once you enter, you cautiously walk through the loud and dark maze. Opie suddenly jumps and screams, making you shriek and grasp onto Jax, but then your brother starts laughing.

"Haha! Spooked ya!" He says, pointing at you.

"It's not funny!" You throw a weak punch at his arm.

"Then why am I laughing?" he taunts.

"Alright, come on, keep it moving," Jax jumps in to break up the sibling squabble, pushing Opie along.

"Stay close behind me, alright?" Jax tells you, guiding you behind him.

You grab onto the back of his shirt as you all continue to walk through. Your eyes dart around while being super vigilant and alert, also looking ahead at your brother in front to see if anything might scare him. The creepy music and inability to see things well in front of you add to the fright. A random hiss from behind you makes you curl up against Jax's back even more. You feel Jax's hand reach back, touching your hip like he's feeling around for something. He then turns to look over his shoulder.

"Hold my hand."

You look down and slip your hand into his while the other still fists his shirt. When Jax turns a corner, he takes a sudden small step back, stumbling into you, as his free arm guides you to remain behind him and now stepping sideways.

"Stay behind me," he instructs you.

You continue to follow him while using him as a shield. The sound of a chainsaw next to you makes you shift in the opposite direction. You feel Jax's hand squeezing yours to let you know you're safe. This feels like a never-ending maze. You start to notice a scent that comforts you. Leaning into Jax's shirt, you stick your nose into it and take a sniff. You don't know if it's the laundry detergent Gemma uses or something else, but it's distracting you from all the terror. After a few more turns and focusing your attention on Jax's scent, you finally make it out of the haunted house unscathed.

"Was that it? See, it wasn't so bad, was it? There wasn't anything really-- AHH!"

Opie gets frightened by a clown seemingly popping out of nowhere and his immediate reaction is to punch it.

"Is... is he dead?" you ask, peeking out from behind Jax with wide eyes, after seeing the clown face down on the dirt unmoved.

Opie gives it a gentle nudge with his booted toe.

"It's a fucking doll," Opie replies, then gives it a swift kick. "Fuck you."

"Looks like you're the one who only got spooked," you laugh.

Opie fakes a lounge at you and you jump back hiding behind Jax, shrieking. Jax instinctively steps between you and Opie, reaching his arms back again to protect you.

"Alright, let's go do the Terror Drop next." Jax suggests the ride where you get dropped from a great height.

"Um, I'm afraid of heights," you tell him.

"We'll do this together. You can hold my hand again," Jax says. "I promise you're gonna love it."

"Last one there is a rotten egg!" Opie says as he dashes off.

You and Jax then start chasing after Opie.

#charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam fanfiction #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #opie winston & reader #opie winston & you #gn! reader #gender neutral #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #you got this

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iamadequate1717 · 6 months

Text

The Breakups

Stede and Ed have three breakups under their belt right now: Ed initiated two of them, and Stede is currently getting blame for one of those. The finale is releasing tomorrow, so hopefully this turns into a moot point, but I'm defending Stede anyway!

Part 2: The Breakups

Note that Part 1 is here:

This 2x7 breakup is likely to be over in 2x8 (.... I say less than 24 hours to the premier and trying to act like I'm a prophet...), and with rule of three, I'm going to say that's going to be their last one. Any more Will-They-Or-Won't-They would be tedious, especially since at that point, we'd be at about one-third of the series with them "broken up," and they need to start communicating as a couple already, but this oscillation is what makes OFMD unique isn't it?

Their breakups are about them as characters: the first time, Ed leaves with Calico Jack; Ed realizes his devotion to Stede but Stede has his fears confirmed... which rolls into the second breakup (Stede doesn't have those fears resolved early enough, and Ed feels like a discarded plaything), which rolls into the third. They need to address the fears and insecurities together and not spiral out on their own. I'm guessing (and using what HBO has shown us) that Ed gets his assurances early, and hopefully, we can put an end to this internal catastrophizing so they can face the world together.

Love, the emotion, may be easy, just like breathing, but a couple is still two people with different experiences and different needs, but real life relationships take work (...I say as a happy single person...). Romcoms end with the First Kiss, fanfics end with the First Sex, but OFMD seems to be carrying us through the growing pains of the relationship. Happily Ever After isn't a magical state that is achieved once you tell each other that you love the other, but so many pieces of media treat that as the end, but OFMD is treating it as a middle. Often times, it feels like the couple is just playing musical chairs, and if they're a couple when time runs out, they're going to be a couple forever!

In S2 speculation, it was not infrequent that people were imagining that the S2 cliffhanger would be Ed and Stede laying eyes on each other for the first time with a fade to black. That isn't interesting. We don't want these two to run out the clock.

But I want to look at the breakups specifically. Let's look at 2x7. Spanish Jackie lays down the truth to Ed, but he doesn't seem to latch onto the big point: does Stede know that this regular guy, no more pirate, part isn't a phase?

"He said at the academy..." Stede was dealing with other things, and from what he saw, Ed went back to piracy. To be fair also, the Revenge doesn't do much piracy itself, so Stede hasn't seen Ed's dissatisfaction first hand. A lot of audience anger toward Stede is an audience who saw the environment 2x1 and 2x2, who saw Ed in the gravy basket, who saw Ed's bored asides with Izzy. They're treating Stede as a member of the audience rather than as a character within the story. Stede didn't see any of this. Most of his interactions with Ed was cutesy fluff. Stede knows he likes being near Ed, but they haven't spent much time talking about deeper topics.

On what Ed does with the breakup in 2x7, I'm bringing up this line from 2x4, when they briefly spoke like adults:

Ed shutting down the conversation and not letting Stede give explanations isn't fair to Stede, but it continued with the third breakup: in 2x7, Ed leaves Stede with some emotional whiplash. Stede was just having one of the best days of his life and was met with an Ed who refused to explain what was going on. When you look at what just Stede saw, it was utterly baffling! My post on that:

And then Stede insulted Ed's fish, thereby making him History's Greatest Monster, amiright?

Ed basically screams that fishermen and pirates are so different, it would be like if a mermaid and a bird tried to have a marriage. It's a self fulfilling prophecy at that point: cut Stede out completely so they have no chance to grow their lives with room for the romantic relationship. (And really, for those criticizing Stede, how do you respond correctly off the cuff to a random statement like that?)

This is devastating: Stede has completely cut himself out of his old life. He left Barbados for Ed, not for piracy. He laid out his feelings, and he made himself vulnerable to Ed. Just hours after being intimate for the first time, he's coldly told it was a mistake, and his sad face at that statement:

He doesn't run off in tears to have a breakdown like I would! He instead is reasonable with Ed: they can define their relationship however they want, but Ed cuts off any possibility of any relationship.

Stede does not know what's going on. I'm really confused what people who are "so mad!" at Stede here would expect of him, provided they only know what Stede knows in universe. Stede just wants to talk and work on their relationship together. Ed wants to start a new career, and more specifically, a life completely separate from Stede.

No, Stede doesn't respond to that pirate line, but he gave the immediate response to the part he cared about more (and likely replayed the conversation over and over in his head later with improved responses, as we do).

Stede does not run after Ed here, but why would he? He's told the audience directly that he thinks Ed is better off without him.

Lucius tells him, "Maybe the time he spent with you is the best it's ever going to get for him," and again, Stede directly tells the audience that he doesn't believe that.

This is not a man with high self esteem. Remember him being ready to be executed and being told he's the worst pirate captain ever? He thought that was fair.

Ed cuts off their relationship, and Stede thinks he deserves that, that Ed realized he was better off without Stede. So Stede lets him go.

On their breakups, the first one was short (Ed's back the same episode!), but the second happened at a season break so there was more time for fandom speculation. We all saw the theories, and a too common thread was "Will Ed forgive Stede??", and we saw the speculation that Stede should prostrate himself before Ed and beg for forgiveness, no matter how long it took. It simplifies the narrative, but is that the show we're watching and is that fair to Stede?

Stede instantly forgave Ed after choosing Calico Jack over him in front of everyone; the second breakup was longer and they had more time to do the whole negative self talk thing, but Stede still did deserve more grace, didn't he? With Season 2 (and its truncated run time!), we saw the criticisms that Ed forgave Stede too easily, but did he? They're on friendly terms, but there is still a wall.

See Ed's time in the Gravy Basket. The first three episodes were the Soup Show. It symbolized family or warmth or whatever (...I say as a robot who doesn't understand human feelings...), so it's a standout that Ed calling the soup poison is his feelings about accepting that warm domesticity, not something literal about Hornigold. He opened himself up to someone, and all he got was heartbreak and confirmation he was unlovable (and he was too scared to do anything about it).

And this is followed almost immediately by the baller line about a man being brought down in the place where he had definitely chosen Stede for the first time.

In the Gravy Basket, we had the metaphor on the feet (no shoes = death, shoes = life... there is good meta running around, but I'm too lazy to find it). Ed gains one shoe (putting him between life and death) when Stede starts to be led to his body, and Stede brings life to him (shoe shot!).

Stede is an anchor to life at this low point, but that doesn't mean that Ed completely forgives.

In Season 2, we don't have the Gloves as Metaphor with Ed anymore (half gloves when he meets Stede, no gloves at the academy, full gloves when he goes full kraken), but he still has other cues on how his feeling about Stede. We don't have the casual touches of Season 1, and everything feels "off." We're lacking in the tenderness, and Ed still is keeping his distance.

Ed and Stede have held hands this season, but not in a romantic way.

When we get to the romance, Ed doesn't put his hands on Stede's skin/hair like Stede does for him (production stills don't count!). In the third kiss, he pushes Stede's collar up as a barrier.

With what the audience was invited in for their love scene, Stede is visually more exposed and ready, and Ed is more distanced and closed off (that is NOT to say that Ed wasn't into it...).

Everything is close to what it should be, but it's not the perfect expression of love exploding across the screen. Something's off. The audience can pick up on it, and Stede, our autistic king, may subconsciously feeling it, but he is taking a lot of it at face value. (They slept together! They're a couple and an unbroken team now!)

On The Sex, is this the first time that Stede has received (verbal) concerns about his welfare in the series? He was told he was a monster, a plague, a defiler of beautiful things, and he's just been trying to live his life with no one refuting that even in a small way.

Sure, Ed said his fake heads idea didn't suck.

Sure... uh.... Ed said he wasn't a girl?

He gets some affirmation, they do something to help them feel alive almost losing each other, and he's intimate for the first time with the man he loves. Everything is going great! But everything instantly flips 180 degrees a few hours later. He's been holding it together well most of the season, even after thinking that Ed is literally dead, and y'all shouldn't judge him for a few mildly harsh words said without thinking. He feels foolish and used and heartbroken, and his bad day has just begun.

I hope I can get some thoughts up on the last part of 2x7 before the finale, but until then, here's some bonus sad face Stede during their first breakup, where Ed broke up with him in front of everyone! Everyone saw it! ("Never left" psh, likely story.)

How can you not be sad when he's sad??

We'll see what the finale does with them soon. Overall, I'm happy so far with Ed/Stede in Season 2. The rest of it... eh, Lucius/Pete is my happy spot. I'm hoping we get a good Ed/Stede payoff in the finale, and that we get to see more of their growth as a couple in Season 3 (manifesting!). It's rare that a show/movie/book/etc focused on just a romance sticks with the couple after that "finally together!" spot, and I want to see what this writing team does with that settled romance.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #stede bonnet #stede defense #stede did nothing wrong #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

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aceofsweets · 24 days

Text

๋࣭⭑ ⭐˖ yeah... give me a moment...

٠࣪⭑ notes ; so, i'm back!! yippee!!! but only because i'm three weeks away from school ending and i just wanted to write silly oc lore for yowa!! ٠࣪⭑ content ; oc/self-insert, implied oc x canon, this takes place before and during the prologue, lore!, all of this is in lowercase ٠࣪⭑ disclaimers ; this is not an 'x reader', this fic was made for me specifically, if you don't like it please scroll! ٠࣪⭑ cameo/s ; just rubia (@jade-s-nymph) ٠࣪⭑ fandom ; twisted wonderland

click, click, click... just mindless spam clicking.

a series of rhythmic clicking could be heard from a certain dorm room. well, not like that was abnormal coming from the students of ignihyde, a yellow shines brightly as the student groans "booo.... another 3 star."

skipping through the gacha animation, the girl sighed. "what shitty rng luck." oh boohoo, same old boring routine. she'd save up how many crystals only to waste it on a duplicate. someone get the tissues because that's just so sad!

she closed the game to wallow in sadness as she sank into her comfortable bed. she opened her calendar, wait a damn minute-

isn't it the entrance ceremony tomorrow? ohhhh... great! a new bunch of newbies who haven't allocated their skill points yet! hopefully the new ignihyde students aren't gonna be a massive pain in the ass.. well, ignihyde doesn't have it as bad as heartslabyul at least (like seriously who let heartslabyul be so overpopulated...)

๋࣭⭑ ⭐˖

"you must attend! it is truly unbecoming of a student of our prestigious school to not attend our solemn ceremony!" the thunderous voice coming from yowa's phone was so... noisy.. but who was she to not listen to his rants? well, she was listening to him politely scolding her as she was putting on the ceremonial robes "idia's not going either tho.." she responded. "well, it does not justify your absence from the ceremony!" "i get it. I just don't want to attend in person tho."

the person on the other line of the call only sighed, why is she always like this?

"hmph.. very well, just be sure to attend the club fair!" "i won't miss your terrific horse riding skills" "eurk..!" hes probably as red as a rose right now. "see you during the club fair." she said before hanging up. she had a bit of time left.. she can play some gam-

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!

another call? seriously?? she has like 4 contacts on her phone, who the hell is calling he- oh. Rubia.

"what's good" "you're not attending the ceremony, correct?" "oh goddamnit" "as i thought" "no shit rubia" silence filled the room for a few seconds

"so, how was the call with riddle?" "are you stalking me? where are you?? under my bed??" "it'd be difficult to be under your bed when you don't even have a bed frame" the ignihyde student rolled her eyes "i do have a bed frame for your information." "what? the headboard you forged out of pillows? that does not classify as a bed frame and I know you know it." "it's better than nothing tho" "you have idia to pay for a bed frame." yowa chuckled.

"yeah yeah." "the ceremony should be starting by now." rubia mentions "welp, cheers to the next generation of level 1 newbies" yowa joked as she hung up.

logging onto her account to attend the ceremony online, it seemed like it was approximately 9 minutes from starting.

let's watch the newbies join the game for the first time, shall we?

๋࣭⭑ ⭐˖

okay. wow. that ceremony was... fucking wild.

yowa needed to turn off whatever device she was using right now because what the actual fuck was that. so, a random student from another world basically isekaid and triggered a level 5 boss which was a fire-breathing cat (not the weirdest but definitely weird.) that started committing arson? this ceremony was a goddamn mess, but it was an entertaining mess.

after observing the ceremony she had screen recorded over and over, she couldn't help but shrug her shoulders and feel a little bit bad for the newbie. maybe it was because they had to live in ramshackle of all places, but eh. they'll adjust to this world despite being magicless.

she was typing all of this down until she heard a familiar voice coming from the other side of the door "nee-san! the ignihyde welcome celebration is about to begin!" yowa chuckled as she heard the robotic, but lively voice called for her "yeah... give me a moment"

i guess she can wonder more about that newbie later. for now, she'll enjoy her life the way it is.

٠࣪⭑ notes ; man i've been gone from this platform for such a long time lmao, sorry if the fic and grammar is terrible, just trying to ease myself into writing again. thanks for reading, always remember that reblogs > likes, love you all !!

xoxo, parfait

#self-insert #oc #persona #implied oc x canon #riddle rosehearts #twst rubia #ortho shroud #parfait ; posts #parfait ; writes #parfait ; twisted wonderland #yowa yolanda #twisted wonderland #fanfiction #ignihyde #heartslabyul #twst #special thanks to rubia herself for helping me with her dialogue lmao

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etrevil · 25 days

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hey!! I absolutely love the vibes of your blog! I’m getting into bungo stray dogs (or trying to :’) ) and since you seemingly write fics for it, do you have more recs?? I don’t really know what the main pairings are but I like to use fics as a way to see if I’ll like the fandom and pairs!! Thank you!!

you're making me crack my knuckles because DAMN AM I NOW EXCITED :DDD

terms used: bsd (bungou stray dogs), hp (harry potter), mha (my hero academia), soukoku (chuuya/dazai), shin soukoku (atsushi/akutagawa), chuuda (where chuuya tops), fyozai (dazai/fyodor), fyolai (fyodor/nikolai)

First and foremost is the widely beloved I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio by ElectricSplatter, which is just a rollercoaster of emotions that grip you by the throat. Do note that the chapters are hella long, but enjoyable. The relationships are fleshed out beautifully.

Magic and Mystery by Allegory_for_Hatred is also a good start because it's a bsd and hp crossover that's just, amazing. Had me up at 3am until I physically could not read. There's an ongoing sequel too!

wtf, since when are you married? by xxalwayssofia is a short, quick laugh that, for me, had one of the best characterization for soukoku. Sofia's stories in general (check her account!) have got the character's personality traits down with little creative liberties.

Ne Chuuya, won't you marry me? is another one by xxalwayssofia, and I die of laughter because of this on a daily basis.

Now, I may be mean for suggesting this, but this fic is a diamond found within a gold mine that will eventually end you up in jail because some rich dude probably owned it first. In summary, it hurts. Like a gunshot wound (wink wink to the readers). And that is Ruiner by gev_ao3 (rated the E-est of E's)! The long-awaited consequence chapter is already out for this one, so when you binge read it the ending will hopefully be satisfying. Just be aware this is incredibly graphic, psychological, and angst-filled to the brim.

I read If the Far Side Saw You by birbleh a considerable time ago, but it both pinches and caresses my heart all the same. I haven't anything else to say other than give it a chance.

Ice Queen by TheHighQueen is a great ongoing Dazai genderbend fic, that follows canon with interesting diverging road stops.

This Color Ain't It by justcallmedude has Kenji, our lovable super strength-powered farmer, as a main character! Crossover between bsd and mha with a dash of angst thrown here and there.

For a shin soukoku pairing fic, I'd suggest Fair Ankles by spirallings (rated E) and love knows no boundaries by dangodangomilk; fun, interesting stories that aren't that long, the latter's a oneshot and the former's ugh, just around 100k words :>

One of the first bsd fics I've read, which is with a fyozai pairing, is Letters from the Underground by ktaem! The writing style has its own refined edge, with the exploration of a what-if scenario that had me by hook, line, and sinker. This fic is still in my tab group because I always keep rereading it!

Now if we're entering the explicit territory, I will forever recommend my favorite series (pairing is chuuda btw) Ineffable Partners by Ch_ee_rios. The eighth installment is currently updating, and I promise, you will cry- or at least feel a significant gut punch.

Head Full of Lies by AbsoluteNegation, as my friend one said, is where the good shit's at. The premise had me instantly curious and soukoku's dynamic is wonderful, messy, and DAMN I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH.

Mors Vincit Omnia by themadtree, an soukoku and fyolai fic that will have you bending over and dying of laughter and pain. The author's other works (akai!) are also very good.

The series all that is left by alaruya is a personal favorite of mine. The writing style is unique, with choppy sentences and tear-jerker lines. Was the first story that ever had me thinking, "god I need to bookmark this," and I did.

Bottom of The Deep Blue Sea by arkastadt is a filthy, guilty pleasure. (can you tell I'm an avid bottomzai reader?)

And that's it... I think? I'm also willing to suggest Leafing Through The Pages, I Found You by YunaYamiMouto, but letting you know it's an ongoing reaction fic of the bsd cast to Dazai's life (with the author's own creative choices and headcanons), so there will be a lot, and I mean a HECK TON of spoilers. Which, to be fair, the other fics do have in sprinkles, but this tackles novel events that maybe you'd wish to read at your own pace :D

also shameless plug I have my own fic, the heat of your orange, and I know there's only one chapter but I'm trying my best to update soon

Happy reading!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #ao3 #ao3 fic #fic reccomendations #bsd fics #bungou gay dogs #soukoku #shin soukoku #fyozai #fyolai #fic rec #vil answers #“I went a bit crazy with this one sorry hahahah”

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my-current-obsession · 3 months

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My Next Life as a Villainess VN - Thoughts

Considering the source material, I was surprised at how good this game was! It's unsurprisingly light-hearted and comedic, but most of the CGs are still great and the romances mostly worked. I appreciated how despite Catarina's black-hole level of denseness causing issues in basically every route, everyone tackled it differently and every relationship felt unique.

My biggest complaint is just that we were robbed of routes with the girls outside a "normal/friendship" ending, since the girls canonically ALSO love Catarina. Getting three extra routes for Mary, Sophia, and Maria would have been SO GOOD. But Alas.

While this game and story is definitely meant for fans of the light novels and/or anime, I think there's plenty of information for people new to the series to still enjoy it. I also appreciate how much content is added to the common route as you complete the routes of love interests. Expect SPOILERS below the cut, as I go into detail on my thoughts for each route.

My play order was:

Alan -> Keith -> Geordo -> Rozy -> Nicol -> Silva

Common Route: I won't linger too long on this, since the common route in this case was pretty short. It did its job, setting up the plot and introducing us to all the important characters, both new and old. But in terms of notable interactions with the love interests or MAJOR plot points, there isn't much of notice yet. All the choices that give affection for the guys pre-route split lead to very brief tangents/conversations, nothing substantial.

We do meet and immediately befriend Rozy in the common route, which is nice. Silva by comparison barely features here, but he's ALL OVER basically every route, so his absence here is honestly fine.

I do like that we learn about the sachets and their connection to Ryle Werder, since that plays an important role in several routes. The Witch's Eye, by comparison, perhaps receives TOO MUCH attention in the common route. It's only relevant in NICOL'S route and yet we learn about it when meeting ROZY, which seems odd.

Alan: Not counting the girls, when I watched the anime, Alan was my favorite love interest. Hence, I decided to start with him. And I wasn't disappointed! I like that it's pretty clear under "normal" circumstances that despite his love for Catarina, Alan would never rock the boat and confess to her. He acknowledges and respects that she's engaged to Geordo, and he's engaged to Mary.

Thus, for this love to bloom, the pair kind of NEEDS to be separated from the group and spend some quality time together, which is just what we get. Interacting one-on-one, these two have a very casual and easy relationship that appeals to me. They get along well and Alan is mostly charmed by Catarina's eccentricities. His one real problem with her is that she is reckless to the point of endangering her own life, and that's a fair criticism I think.

Since Alan wasn't planning on confessing, his struggle to "get through" to Catarina is mostly about making her understand that being reckless hurts and upsets the people that care about her, which he finally inadvertently succeeds at by... getting hurt himself while protecting her, causing HER to be upset.

It's a very sweet and subtly romantic moment, which I liked a lot. I like how this route, particularly the "memory scenario" bits, seemed to imply that deep down, subconsciously, Catarina ALWAYS has liked and favored Alan. He's the one she likes to just... hang out and spend time with, and thus when they spend a certain amount of time alone and have some (mostly accidental) romantic moments, she's quick to Catch Feelings, even if she takes a bit to acknowledge them.

The cherry on top to this route was his confession and how it was handled. When Alan accidentally confesses his feelings while saving Catarina from Frederic, due to her hangups about the whole "I'm a villainess in an otome game and all the guys should love Maria" thing she initially wants to doubt or misinterpret it - but Silva (who had earlier called out and WEAPONIZED Alan's feelings for his own gain) is quick to correct her, forcing her to acknowledge it. But the pair don't get to talk it out right away, leaving them to be noticeably awkward around each other until they do.

Only then, when it's unavoidable and necessary, does Alan fully confess. Because he knows Catarina NEEDS to hear this in order to fix their current relationship. But he immediately follows it up by telling her to forget it all - because he's genuinely content with just being friends with her and doesn't want to ruin things between her and Geordo.

I appreciate how much Alan is selfless and trying to do the right thing - and I appreciate it even more, comparing it to other routes to come. And Catarina refuses to forget because simply finding out how he feels is enough to make her recognize her own feelings, but she similarly resolves to talk things out with Geordo and Mary before confessing. The respect paid to their "official" partners and trying to properly end things before starting anything together is mature and wonderful, to the point where in Alan's happy end Geordo (reluctantly, but still entirely of his own volition, without outside pressure) gives them his blessing. It's sweet and satisfying.

Also, sidenote - I genuinely liked Liliana a lot as a side character and was disappointed she wasn't in any other route. On the other hand, that means she got to witness and support JUST Alan's romance and none of the others, so...

Keith: I won't lie, this is my least favorite route from a plot AND relationship standpoint. While basically ALL the other love interests find Catarina charming and endearing, it bothers me how Keith is always criticizing her. He loves her, but he's constantly trying to get her to act like a "proper noblewoman" instead of embracing her as she is. And from the perspective of a SIBLING, that's fine. But I HATE it when you're actively trying to mold your love interest's behavior and personality.

Across all the routes Catarina must have dreaded Keith lecturing her (explicitly acting like her mother, at that) more times than I could count. That's just NOT romantic. At all. And isn't a dynamic that can/should be TURNED romantic, IMO.

Another big turnoff for me is that Keith is one of two love interests who has... let's say a sense of entitlement to Catarina. He's actively hidden his feelings for years, AND YET he hates the idea of her with anyone else and actively tries to keep her away from her more aggressive suitors like Geordo. Unlike Alan and Nicol, who acknowledge their feelings but WILL NOT act on them in usual circumstances, Keith monopolizes Catarina's attention when he can and actively WANTS to be with her romantically... all while excusing the time and attention he gets by saying it's his right as her BROTHER.

The underhanded nature of how he gets her attention and his ulterior motives bothers me. At least Geordo is UPFRONT with his possessiveness and intentions, even if Catarina is too dense to notice.

On Catarina's end... I just struggle to buy her suddenly falling in love with him. This route makes it clear Keith is "special" in that she's quick to notice if he's not feeling well physically or emotionally; Catarina likes to TAKE CARE OF and DOTE ON Keith. That's pretty in-line with her seeing him as her brother, and honestly that same care and attention comes across in other routes where she clearly loves him PLATONICALLY, so it's hard for me to accept that not only does she quickly fall in love with him here but she confesses FIRST before Keith makes his own feelings clear.

As for the rest of this route's plot, I barely remember it. I wasn't invested in the conflict here - and that's not the case in most routes. Alan's route interested me with the relationship drama of Ryle & Liliana, Silva and Rozy had big political issues, and Nicol's was supernatural. Only Geordo's route was similarly dull in terms of non-romance content. The main thing I took away from the conflict here is I was unhappy how Keith's conflict of feeling weak and unable to protect Catarina was handled.

Rather than learning he didn't HAVE to protect her, that he was important/valuable to her without that, or something along those lines (leading to a more mutual and open dynamic, theoretically), it's resolved by... him finally being able to protect her. He had a BAD personal arc on top of a BAD romance on top of a BORING overall route/conflict.

Geordo: Like Keith, Geordo is pretty possessive and "entitled" to Catarina. Unlike Keith, I can at least somewhat understand why. He's literally engaged to her and has been for years. Beyond just his own hopes/feelings, there is an expectation that he WILL marry her eventually. I also appreciate that while he's initially not that forward, he's still open and obvious about his romantic affections. It's just that Catarina is PARTICULARLY dense with him.

She struggles to believe anyone could fall for her when Maria is Right There, but Geordo in particular she struggled to win over "in game", and despite years to get used to the idea she still doesn't seem to realize how much people and relationships have changed due to her actions. Thus she can't envision him EVER loving her romantically and finds a way to misinterpret his every action.

Whereas Keith just kind of... snapped and wasn't able to hold back his feelings in his route after spending too much time alone with Catarina, Geordo by comparison is very DELIBERATE in making more aggressive moves. And again, I think it's narratively justified albeit kinda messed up. While he is used to the usual rivals and felt relatively secure that they wouldn't/couldn't steal Catarina out from under him... suddenly Silva enters the equation and NOW he feels threatened.

As a pirate, Silva wouldn't care about Geordo's title or his claim to Catarina. If he chooses to steal her away or if Catarina just comes to like him, there's NOTHING Geordo can really do. Thus, he couldn't afford to be patient anymore and he got desperate.

He thought he had time to win her over, but now he had to progress things FAST or risk losing her. His actions make sense, and by making his feelings clear earlier on in the route, Catarina has more time to think about it and figure out her own feelings.

I think it's notable that none of the other love interests, despite their own feelings for Catarina and their frustration for how Geordo handles things (since he says some nasty things and unintentionally hurts her while revealing his feelings), actually try to PREVENT Geordo from "winning" Catarina. The girls even come around to SUPPORTING him despite loving Catarina as well.

Geordo's "entitlement" to her is reasonable. He's not guaranteed her love, but he is the most justified in expecting it and acting possessive by virtue of their engagement. While Mary may plot to run away with her, while Keith might secretly want her for himself, while Sophia tries to push Nicol to pursue her... EVERYONE acknowledges on some level that unless Catarina actively falls for someone else (which looks increasingly unlikely as time goes by), Geordo IS her endgame by default. And they respect that. They are all prepared for this marriage to eventually happen; Geordo by comparison on other routes is typically NOT prepared for Catarina to suddenly fall for someone and want to break things off.

His crime is of being complacent and then poorly handling it when he realizes just that. I personally can forgive that a lot easier than Keith's... everything, and a lot of what happens in Rozy's route, too.

On Catarina's end, the extra time she got to think about Geordo's feelings and re-contextualize a lot of their earlier interactions while also being more aware of the romantic implications of later ones served her well. While I personally imagine Alan and Nicol as the two guys she's lowkey into "by default" judging from their routes, it was easy enough to see Geordo's efforts to win her over actually paying off near the end, and her accidentally acknowledging her realization of "maybe I love Geordo" out loud, TO HIS FACE, was great. The non-romance plot of this route was fairly dull, but I found the romance very engaging so it evens out!

Rozy: I was impatient and just had to give one of the new love interests a go before doing Nicol. I have very mixed feelings about this route. On the one hand, as a new character, I found Rozy very attractive in terms of his appearance and personality. And many of his interactions with Catarina were sweet and endearing. On the other hand I have two MAJOR issues that hampered my enjoyment of specifically his relationship with Catarina, A LOT.

Problem one is that, plain and simple, Rozy was TOO devoted and obsessed with her based off ONE, BRIEF interaction 8 years ago. I understand that she inspired him and changed his life without meaning to, but he just... takes it too far. I can rationalize him looking into her immediately afterwards to learn her name. I can get behind him thinking back to that moment and hoping to meet her again one day, to thank her.

But he went as far as HIRING people to check up on her and tell him all about her, years later. That's just STALKING. Through a proxy, yes, but stalking nonetheless. Which is not okay. Ever. It doesn't help that outside of this one "flaw" - being TOO devoted, to the point of clear obsession, which is noted in story to be a flaw his entire family has - he's basically perfect in a way NONE of the other love interests are. I'm genuinely not sure if I would have preferred a literally flawless Gary Stu love interest or... this, which was gross.

Problem two was Albert's interference and the DISRESPECT to Geordo this route had. In general I'm wary of other characters in a story "shipping" anyone together - passively rooting for something like Liliana did is typically fine, but very active matchmaking is grating - but WOW was Albert a busybody about getting Rozy and Catarina together. When he was talking politics I was engaged and enjoying him, but whenever he turned his attention to playing matchmaker, I just felt frustrated.

He's MEANT to be eccentric, but this is really how a king is spending his valuable time? In particular the way he outmaneuvered Geordo so that Catarina and Rozy could fake-date For Reasons, and even PULLED RANK on him, threatening to end his and Catarina's engagement BEFORE Rozy had even confessed, was infuriating.

What gets me is that his interference was ENTIRELY unnecessary. There were plenty of moments between Rozy and Catarina to justify their mutual feelings without him poking his nose in it, and despite being clearly unhappy about it Geordo HAS proven to be reasonable about letting Catarina go when she actually falls for someone else. It's not like Albert's actions prompted Rozy to confess; he was going to do so ANYWAY. All Albert did was piss off and disrespect Geordo. In theory his actions SHOULD cause political issues between Quid and Sorcier, which he wants to prevent, and yet...

This was the one route where I liked the plot outside the romance significantly more than the romance itself. The political drama and intrigue was engaging, and I loved seeing Rozy and Silva interact. They have a genuinely sweet dynamic. It was also cute seeing Rozy's dad gush over him - a more normal, healthy (yet embarrassing) way to express the family's overly-affectionate trait.

The conflict with the premier Cet Norden was... a bit sloppily handled though. It bothers me that like 90% of his backstory and motivation was in an optional "memory scenario". Was an optional exposition dump really the best they could do? No way to incorporate any of that into the story naturally? By comparison the conflicts are much better integrated in Alan, Nicol, and Silva's routes.

I have a third minor issue with this route (and to a lesser extent, Nicol and Silva's) - it's frustrating that even AFTER finding out Rozy is associated with the pirates, he continues to hide shit and only comes clean when he can't avoid it any longer. Silva's route fully explains WHY - they're trying to secretly handle this so they don't have to work with and be indebted to Sorcier. But the politics of that choice are, in itself, kind of disgusting. Thinking rationally, Rozy chose to endanger who knows how many Sorcier nobles by keeping things secret, and even if their lives are kept safe by the "pirates", they're still under extreme emotional stress due to the situation. They even go so far as to plan for ships from Quid to "rescue" the Sorcier nobles, making them feel indebted rather than the other way around! The entire plot/conflict of this game could have been avoided if saving lives mattered more than politics.

Nicol: This route took an interesting turn into the supernatural. There is an entirely unique conflict (on top of the existing ones, which... still exist and take up nearly half the route), and I quite enjoyed it. I do think it needed more time to shine, though. The witch is only properly introduced more than halfway through the route, and that conflict is resolved surprisingly fast and easily.

As for romance, this route actually worked way better than I expected going into it. I'm not typically into aloof love interests that don't emote much, but I think it helped that we got to spend a lot of time from Nicol's perspective so I could see what he was thinking and feeling, even if it wasn't clear from his expressions and voice.

I mentioned that I think Catarina is lowkey into Alan and Nicol "by default" earlier. Alan I explained in his section - she subconsciously seeks him out and pays him special attention, to the frustration of her other love interests.

Nicol by comparison she is more OVERTLY into, but it's initially shallow. Nicol has a "mysterious allure" that exists both in-game and out, and since canonically she hasn't played his route, AND she's the most distant from him out of all her love interests (he's more "my friend's brother" than "MY friend", initially), she's intrigued by and drawn to him in a way she isn't to her other friends. She is Not Immune to his good looks, and he's able to fluster her in a way no one else can, without even meaning to.

Thus, when they actually spend time together and get to know each other, it's actually very EASY for Nicol to win her affections. Lucky for everyone else that he's a good friend and is DETERMINED to keep his feelings to himself. Much like Alan, he has no intention of confessing and attempting to steal (ostensibly) Geordo's Girl, and I respect him for that.

I was honestly really into the tension between Geordo and Nicol this route, where out of respect and friendship Nicol was trying so hard to keep his distance from Catarina but he kept accidentally letting his feelings affect his actions in ways that stepped on Geordo's toes anyway. That said I think there was a missed opportunity regarding how that conflict ended. I think there was a lot of potential for either drama or wholesome friendship if he and Geordo had actually gotten to TALK about it, but they never did.

Nicol spent the entire route not wanting to confess and get between Catarina and Geordo, but then due to the witch's interference he ultimately confessed to Catarina anyway WITHOUT talking it out with Geordo first. Either Nicol needed to find the courage to confront Geordo and at least give him a heads-up that he was going to do this, or even better, Geordo could be a good friend and tell him to shoot his shot (but obviously Geordo himself wouldn't fully give up until it's clear Catarina has fully chosen someone else); either way making it a "may the best man win" situation would have been ideal. Instead Geordo tells Nicol they need to talk AFTER Nicol has confessed and stolen his girl after spending the whole route determined not to do literally just that, and we don't even see the confrontation.

This route is leagues better than Rozy's in "dealing with" Geordo, but not as good as Alan or Silva's. While I wanted Nicol to talk things out with him first, I at least am more accepting of the witch's interference than Albert's. Albert was playing matchmaker and screwing over Geordo in the process, while the witch was personally trying to upset Geordo due to his similarity to her lover that she wanted revenge on, and Nicol and Catarina getting together was more a byproduct of that.

She forced Nicol to spend time with and confess his love to her (in Catarina's body), which made him reconsider his feelings and his passivity, and when he ultimately confessed it was because he couldn't bear for his only confession have been to the witch. It was explicitly for the sake of closure rather than expecting reciprocation, which was a happy surprise.

Ultimately I think this route was very solid all around though it could have been improved in some ways. It also brings another point AGAINST Rozy, because I can't help but feel he WAS trying to pull a last minute Mr. Steal Your Girl despite claiming his confession was just for closure. If you only wanted closure... why did you not also confess in Silva's route, where you spent MORE time with Catarina and thus should have loved her there too? It comes across in hindsight like he cares too much about Silva to come between them but he's willing to try his luck with Catarina's other love interests.

Silva: It's rare for me to love the true/favored love interest in otome, but this is definitely an exception. His route was so good! I already liked Silva a fair amount from what I'd seen in other routes - not only is his design very appealing, but his Honorable Rogue shtick was right up my alley. So I went in with fairly high hopes and honestly still got way better than I expected.

I appreciated that while he and Catarina definitely get along right from the start, he WASN'T immediately into her. It was refreshing after literally all of her other love interests being in love with her from the start of the story (including new character Rozy, who either fell in love as a child or immediately fell for her upon reuniting). Silva's "romantic" scenes in the early parts of his route definitely felt like he was flirting more just because he's USED to getting women's attention and he was testing her reactions, rather than him genuinely trying to woo her. Instead, it's her complete trust and faith in him (despite him being a "pirate" and having a somewhat shady past that he initially tries to hide) that really warms him to her.

Either intentionally or accidentally, this pair kept stealing moments alone together, and almost every one served to bring them just a bit closer together. You could really feel their relationship shifting from strangers to acquaintances to friends to ultimately lovers. They were BOTH gradually getting to know and falling for the other, rather than it being largely one party trying to win over the other.

And while Geordo has a relatively small role in this route and isn't really addressed until the ending... I think that works. As I mentioned in Geordo's route, he was complacent and assumed his "victory" was secure. He might have been initially paranoid, but he took reassurance from Silva initially saying Catarina was like a little sister and didn't consider that those feelings might change. But then unbeknownst to him, Catarina ended up spending A LOT of time with Silva (and as I said, those moments often happened to be ALONE, so no one else truly knew just HOW close they were getting), and falling for him. Basically, Geordo was caught sleeping on the job in this route and by the time he considered Silva a threat, it was too late.

One aspect of this route I really loved was Silva's interactions and dynamic with Rozy and the Lindgren family. It's so clear how much Rozy and his father truly love Silva, and Silva loves them too but is reluctant to officially join their family because doing so would cause a minor scandal. He'd rather keep a wall between them than burden them in any way because he feels indebted and unworthy, while they WANT him in the family and would happily accept any trouble he brings.

Heck, Rozy loves Silva enough that he didn't hesitate to back off when he noticed Silva getting close to Catarina, despite presumably being in love with her himself! The subtle way he gave the pair his blessing through giving Silva the notebook that had her picture - something he had in the past told Silva he "couldn't give" him, despite Silva's curiosity - was honestly sublime. One of my favorite moments in the entire game.

I also adored Silva opening up about his family and culture to Catarina, and then how he used that unique culture to woo her. Even before the reveal, the ear kisses were SO GOOD and clearly affecting her. In the end, when he revealed it was actually a sign that he was courting her? Buddy, that's too smooth!

Speaking of his confession, I loved that initially it seemed he was going to just confess his feelings and then back off, leaving the ball in her court. He wanted her to know how he felt before she left, since it would be who knows how long before they saw each other again, if ever, but he didn't intend to pressure her. It was only AFTER she instinctively stopped and clung to him - after she'd given him some small indication that she reciprocated - that he made a move. And what a move it was! The way he warned her to stop him or leave if she didn't want this before kissing her, MULTIPLE TIMES, was just... very attractive. He was probably already my favorite before this, but even if he hadn't been, this scene would have pushed him to the top anyway.

And the epilogue is also very lovely, with him having finally been officially adopted by the Lindgren family. He found a reason worth troubling them - so he could have the status and education to "properly" be with her without society putting up a fuss. It's so cute to see her so thrilled to see him again and being so happy and excited at the prospect of marrying him.

Finally, the conflict and drama in this route was once again pretty good. I don't have much to say (mainly because while I DID enjoy the conflict, the romance was just astoundingly solid and stole most of my focus), but everything regarding human experimentation and how Silva was directly linked to it and the antagonist was good. I wish the villain wasn't a brand new character not even SEEN in other routes though (he might have been MENTIONED in one or two other routes, but that's it).

One thing I think this story does REALLY well is the Butterfly Effect of Catarina changing the game's canon (something she hilariously never seems to fully grasp). Her one meeting with Rozy changed his life. And even though she NEVER met Silva as a child, her chance meeting with Rozy also rippled outward and still positively affected Silva, making him radically different than the "in-game" Silva, who most likely WASN'T a romanceable character but a true villain (I find it hard to believe the game would let you romance someone who callously kills several people in his INTRODUCTION and who is part of a pirate crew that is legitimately threatening/evil. I like to imagine Rozy was the true "secret" romance in the fandisk, since he WAS still in the game and on the ship).

Overall I thought this game was great and it far exceeded my expectations. I expected (and got) comedy, but the romances were mostly good and there was more drama and intrigue to many of the plots/conflicts than I expected. I'll definitely be returning to this game to re-experience my favorites.

In terms of my feelings on the routes as a whole, best to worst: Silva -> Alan -> Nicol -> Rozy -> Geordo -> Keith

My feelings on the romance/relationship with Catarina: Silva -> Alan -> Geordo -> Nicol -> Rozy -> Keith

#otome #my next life as a villainess #hamefura #aside from the length the hardest part of this review was consistently using 'c' instead of 'k' for catarina #bc the GAME uses c but i'm like 90% sure when i watched the anime years ago the subs used k & that's what i'm used to

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bteezxyewriter12 · 11 months

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Only You/ 10

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 3.5k

Includes- Sex, Missionary, Cock riding, multiple orgasms, so much fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @jintheastronaut

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

J POV

I've been worrying for three days

After realizing I love Yoongi, I can't stop thinking about that

And I have no clue what to do

It was that night that we were together

I know that's when I fell for him

I just had this unexplainable feeling of wanting him to stay with me

I felt so safe and so happy in his arms

And I haven't felt like that since that night

I haven't been as happy as I was that night

That's insane

I'm so scared of telling him

What if he really doesn't feel like that for me?

What if it was just sex for him?

I'm back to where I was when I thought I just liked him

I can't handle our friendship being ruined because he doesn't feel like that for me

I can't imagine my life without Yoongi in it

It's overwhelming to think about and I'm going to have a panic attack if I keep thinking about it

Now that I know I love him all I want is him

I want him to smile at me, to kiss me

To tell me he loves me

God I want that so bad

To hear him say that....would be the best thing in the world

And I'm so terrified that he won't say it

That he won't want me

But there's one thing I know for sure

I have to break up with Hobi

It's not fair to stay with him when I don't love him

When I love someone else

He deserves to be loved by someone who can give him that

And it's not me

Not anymore

I really can't believe this

If you asked me last year, I would of said I'd be with Hobi forever

There was no doubt in my mind

Now that's no where near what I want

And I feel so horrible about it

---------------------------

Walking into the practice room, I spot Hobi dancing across the room

I decided that I have to end things today with him

It's just not fair to him and I can't keep leading him on

I texted him and he said he was practicing

"Hobi", I call

He stops and turns to me

"Hey Jo", he smiles

God, his smile used to knock all the breathe from my lungs

Now it's Yoongi's smile that does that

And I'm aware of how fucked up that is

He comes over to me, kissing me

"What's up aegi?"

I'm so nervous, hot and sweaty

I don't want to do this

I don't want to hurt him

But I'm hurting him more by staying

"Uh I have to talk to you", I say

His eyebrow raises, "Uh ok"

Just say it

"I can't be with you anymore Hobi", I say quickly

"What why?", he asks immediately, looking upset

I don't want to say it

I don't want to hurt him

But I can't be with him

Not when I love someone else

"I'm sorry but my feelings for you have changed. I don't want to lie to you or lead you on.", I get out

"But you said you loved me when we got back together"

I did love him

But I also love Yoongi

And that love is stronger than the love I felt for him

That love for Yoongi is what erased my romantic love for Hobi

I still love and care about Hobi but as a friend

"I did Hobi. But it isn't there anymore"

A look of anger comes on his face

"It's because of Yoongi isn't it?", he snaps

"Hobi-"

"You love him, don't you? I knew from the second I found out you two slept together. You were being so distant. It's like you weren't there. You thought about him while having sex with me. You thought about him when you were with me didn't you? All the times we were watching TV or laying down and I had to call you over and over, you were thinking about him"

I don't say anything

What can I say?

Nothing that will make him feel better

So I keep quiet

"He always wanted you. He tried to hide it but I knew. The guys knew. Then he told me he always loved you. But I didn't think you'd ever feel like that for him"

Shock hits my body

What?

Yoongi always loved me?

Why didn't I see it?

I wasn't looking that's why

Not until we slept together

Then I started noticing him that way

And I'm a fucking idiot

I could of had the best guy in the world years ago

If I just woke up

But I see now and I want him so much

I just hope he still wants me

"Yes Hobi. I'm sorry but I love Yoongi"

He lets out a breath of anger

"Did you love him when we got back together?"

I need to be honest

"I did but I didn't know that I did"

"What the fuck does that mean?", he yells

"I uh had feelings for him but I didn't think it was love. I just realized it was love the other day"

He runs his hand in his hair, upset

"But I love you Jo. Why can't you love me like you used to? I'm sorry for everything I did, for hurting you. Can't you just try?", he begs

"I did Hobi. I tried for two months. But I can't try anymore Hobi. It's not fair to you. I can't love you like that. You deserve to be loved by someone who can give it to you. I can't and I'm sorry", I apologize

"I don't want anyone else. I want you"

"I'm so sorry"

"I can't believe this shit", he shouts

He looks at me in such anger, "Just go away"

"Hobi, I'm sorry"

He snorts, "Yeah ok. I bet you're going to run to Yoongi right now, right?"

I wasn't going to

I was going to wait but now that Hobi told me Yoongi loves me, I just want to tell him

To get it over with no matter the outcome

I don't answer Hobi

"Whatever just leave", he snaps, turning and walking away from me

I feel so bad but there's nothing I can do

I can't make myself love Hobi

And even if I could, I don't know if I'd want to

Not with the way I feel about Yoongi

I turn and leave the practice room

---------------------------

"Just go knock on the door", I tell myself

I've been sitting in my car in front of the dorm for twenty minutes, trying to summon the courage to talk to Yoongi

"Stop being a baby. You're here all the time. Just get out of the car"

I sigh and get out of the car

Walking to the dorm door, I ring the bell and wait

Namjoon opens the door

"Hi Joonie."

"Oh hey Jo. Hobi isn't here"

"Oh uh I'm here to see Yoongi", I answer

"Oh ok. He's sleeping so good luck waking him up", he smiles

"Thanks"

I go inside and walk to Yoongi's room

I'm so scared

I'm about to tell my best friend I love him

I finally get to his door and knock

I'm actually surprised, when he answers the door

I thought he was asleep

When I look at him, love for him bursts all over my body

He's has on a t-shirt, shooky pj pants, his hair messy and he's never looked so fucking sexy

"Jo? What's up?", he asks, surprised

I don't know what comes over me

Moving closer to him, I put my arms around him, stand on my toes and kiss him

I love that his arms go around me immediately, kissing me back

After, he looks at me confused and I just blurt everything out

"I love you Yoongi. So much. I just want you. No one else. I'm sorry I didn't see you before. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. You're everything I could ever want. You're perfect. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm so in love with you. You're the only one I want"

He's just looking at me, not saying anything

Maybe this was a mistake

I feel my face get hot, then I look down, avoiding his eyes

I guess he doesn't feel like that anymore

I don't blame him, I took too long to notice him

I feel his hand lift up my face to his, looking in my eyes

"Finally", he whispers, then kisses me again

I hear his door slam shut, then he picks me up, my legs going around him

He carries me to his bed, laying me in the middle of it, him on top of me

Yes

I miss him so much

I miss feeling his kiss, him holding me, his hands on me, his body against mine

He kisses my neck, feeling so good

"I love you Joanne. So much", he says between kisses

"I only ever wanted you", he continues, "Just you, my whole life. I never felt like this for anyone. Only you. It's only ever been you. Just in love with you."

"I love you Yoongi", I answer

"Fuck I love hearing you say that", he looks up at me, "I never thought I'd ever hear you say that to me jagi"

"Now you'll hear it all the time Yoongi. I'll always say it. I love you"

His face bursts into his gorgeous smile

"I love your smile Yoongi. It's so beautiful. Just like you"

"Not as beautiful as you Jo. Everything about you is gorgeous and so perfect. I love you so much", he answers

He kisses me again and I melt

I will never get enough of his kisses

"You're mine now. I'm never letting you go", he tells me

I nod, "You better not. Because you're mine too and you'll never get rid of me"

"Always Jo. I was always just yours and I'll be yours forever. Just yours"

"Fuck Yoongi, I love you more than anything"

"I love you more than anything Jo. Always", he whispers

I move hair from his eyes, "My Yoongi"

He smiles again, then says, "My Joanne"

I smile at him, nodding

Then his lips are on mine again, his hands touching me all over

I pull his shirt up and off

I fucking love Yoongi's body

Everything about him

He was getting a little insecure because some haters were commenting on him gaining weight

I couldn't give two fucks

I love everything about him

I couldn't careless if he gains weight, he's still my everything, still so fucking sexy

My perfect everything

He gets my shirt off and before I know it, our clothes are all off

He kisses my chest, while putting my legs around him

Yoongi puts his face in my neck, kissing my skin over and over and sending chills down my spine

I hold him to me, one arm around his back, my other hand in his hair

He slowly pushes in, feeling fucking incredible

"Yoongi, fuck, god Yoongi", I moan, pressing my body against his, as close as I can while I shiver against him, my body going insane just like the first time

"I love the way you react to me baby", he whispers

I love how he can get me to feel like this and I missed feeling this way so much

I fucking love feeling this way with him

"God, fuck", he moans while he gets all the way in

His body trembles and I hold him tighter to me

He slowly starts moving, pulling back then sliding back in

Holy fuck, he feels so good

"Jesus jagi", he moans again, "I missed you"

"I missed you too Yoongi. So much", I whimper

His movements get faster and harder, every time he thrusts in

Pleasure explodes in me with every move he makes

Feeling Yoongi against me, his skin on mine, his arms holding me to him, his lips kissing me everywhere, makes me feel like I'm in heaven

Just like the first time

There's nowhere I'd rather be than with him right now

"I love you", I tell him

He moans, his arms tightening around me

"I love you", he whispers

He feels so good, my hips start moving, meeting his thrusts, making him go in so much deeper

"Fuck", he cries

I fucking love that we move together giving each other so much pleasure at the same time

I love the feeling that I can't tell where he starts and I end, we're just one together

And I feel myself getting ready to explode

"Yoongi, oh Yoongi", I moan as my orgasm washes over me

"Baby, my baby", Yoongi moans, kissing me everywhere he can while I cum

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Yoongi POV

I can't fucking believe she loves me

I can't

I never, in a million years, thought she'd ever love me

And she came to me

She told me she loves me

On her own

I've never been happier

I finally have the girl I always wanted

I keep moving, going a little harder

"Ffff....fuck", she stutters

"You feel so good baby", I whimper in between kisses

She does feel so good

The first time we had sex, my mind was blown

I know it was because I love her

But now it's even better because I know we both love each other

She moves with me, her hips meeting my thrusts

Shit, the pleasure feels so intense

I feel her arms around me, holding me to her tightly, her hand sliding into my hair and I love it

She turns her head and starts kissing my neck

Shit, it feels so good, making me moan

Her kisses keep going, down to my shoulder and part of my arm

She kisses back up and when she gets to my neck, she whispers, "I love you Yoongi. So much"

Pure happiness bursts into my body

I can never stop hearing her say that

It's something I never thought I'd ever hear and now that I have, I want to hear it all the time

"Yoongi", she moans

I feel her getting ready by how tight she's getting, how hard she's throbbing around me

"Jagi", I whisper

"Kiss me naekkeo", she asks

I press my lips to hers, loving the feeling of her lips on mine

She opens her mouth, her tongue slipping in mine

Fuck

Her hand moves to my face, holding it while she kisses me

I love her so much

Sliding back inside her, she explodes, squeezing me tightly, her body pressing against mine

She moans against my lips while she orgasms

It feels fucking amazing and the pleasure takes over

I moan, coming as well, in pure bliss "Baby, Joanne, jagi"

"Yoongi, my Yoongi", she calls, holding me close to her, "My Yoongi feels so good"

Fuck, she's so fucking amazing

She rolls over and I'm on my back again, like last time

I'm so excited

She rides me perfectly and I love watching her

She sits on me, smirking down

"Is my Yoongi still hard?"

I nod

Of course I fucking am

With her I always am

"Want more?", she asks

I nod again

She leans over me, kissing me softly

"Anything for my Yoongi.", she whispers in my ear

I yelp a little when she says it

"I love you", she says, kissing me on the cheek

She sits up straight and moves until she gets just the tip of me in her

Then she moves down slowly, making me cry out in pleasure

"Fuck Jo, I...it feels sss...so..."

I can't think right now

What she's doing to me, fuck it shuts my brain off

"Mmmmmm", she moans, moving faster on me, her little hands on my chest

I force my eyes open so I can watch her

Just like last time, my eyes are glued to her

"My Yoongi likes to watch?", she smirks

"Yeah. You're so fucking beautiful", I murmur

She blushes and it's so cute

"I want my Yoongi to touch", she asks

I immediately move my hands on her, touching her sides, her arms, her stomach, her breasts and her hips

Anywhere my hands can touch her gorgeous soft skin

"Fuck Yoongi, I love everything you do", she moans, "Your hands are the best baby, I love you touching me"

That's funny because I feel the same way about her

When she touches me, my skin just trembles and it feels good

"Jagi, no one has ever made me feel as good as you", I moan, "Just you. I'm so fucking happy it's you"

"I know naekkeo. You make me feel the same way and I love that it's you too", she moans, "You're my perfect everything"

I can't believe she's saying these things

The cute names she's saying

To me

She's telling me I'm perfect

My dumb ass

"Joanne you're perfect for me jagi. I knew you would be"

She smiles, leaning down kissing me again

"I love you naekkeo", she whispers and happiness floods my body

She sits back up, bouncing harder and faster on me

Grabbing her hips, I slam her down on me hard, smashing into her spot

"Yoongi!", she yells, "More"

"Yes jagi. I'll always give you whatever you want"

I keep moving her hard on me over and over, feeling how tight she is

She's so wet, leaving my cock soaked

I love seeing it on me

"Cmon baby girl, I want it", I moan, "Please give it to me"

Slamming her down again, she squeezes my cock so hard, exploding, screaming my name, her body shuddering

"Yoongi!"

God she's so beautiful to watch

And the bliss I'm feeling is incredible

I keep moving her on me, hitting her spot, making her cum again right away

Fuck yes

I love this

Last time it was fucking amazing making her cum over and over

And I've wanted to do it again so much

I thrust up into her, making her scream

"Louder jagi. Scream my name louder", I urge her

I love hearing her scream my name

It's the best sound ever

Shit, her saying my name in any way is the best sound ever

She listens and screams louder

"Yoongi! Fuck!"

I slam in her, causing another orgasm

"I can't. You feel so good baby. I can't take it!", she shouts

"Who the hell is that?", I hear Jimin yell

"Yoongi is with a girl!", Namjoon yells back

"No shit. Who is it?", Jungkook asks

"Joanne", Namjoon answers

"What the fuck?", Tae shouts, "Isn't she with Hobi?"

"Apparently not, idiot", Jungkook yells

"Yoongi", she moans softly

"Ignore them jagi. I want you to scream baby. Please?"

She nods

Thrusting fast and hard, I feel her getting ready again

God I want it so much

I can never have enough of her orgasms

Just like I can never get enough of her kisses

"Yoongi, Yoongi, fuck Yoongi!", she screams exploding again

"Good girl. My good girl", I praise her

"Yoongi!", she shouts, "I want you to cum baby"

"Jesus Christ", one of the guys yells

"Yeah jagi. Cum one more time for me", I ask

I don't know what it is but I need to feel her cum so I can

I can't cum without her orgasm

It's never been like that before with anyone else but her

I wouldn't have it any other way

I love making her cum and I love the way it feels so it's a win for me and her

I slam into her, making her climax instantly

"Yoongi", she screams at the top of her lungs

She throbs so tightly on my cock and I can't take it

"Joanne, fuck, Joanne! Jagi yes!", I scream, holding her on me and coming so fucking hard my whole body shakes

I don't care who hears me

She feels too good for me to care

"Goddamn", Jimin yells

Hell yes goddamn

"Oh god Yoongi!", she screams, coming again while I cum

What the fuck just happened?

Did she just orgasm from me coming?

"Jagi. Fuck. Did you just cum from me coming?", I ask her in disbelief

"Yes Yoongi. You just, fuck feel so good. I felt you coming and I couldn't stop it", she whimpers

"You are fucking amazing Jo. Holy shit", I tell her in shock

"Thanks. I try", she giggles

I laugh, pulling her down to me in a kiss

She moves off and lays down in my arms

"Now what?", she asks

"Now we nap and after we go out to eat", I answer, hoping she agrees

I want to sleep with her in my arms again so much

I forgot how much I missed that last time we were together

"Ok naekkeo, sounds good", she says, kisses me, "I love you"

"I love you", I tell her, "So much"

She presses her lips to mine in a sweet kiss, then lays on my chest, cuddling into me

Closing my eyes, I hold her to me tightly, thanking whoever is out there that I finally have her

#only you fic #bts yoongi fanfic #min yoongi fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts suga fanfic #suga fanfic #bts yoongi smut #min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #bts suga smut #suga smut #bts fanfic #bts smut

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mxmysterious · 1 year

Text

Most people who are part of the fandom know this by now, but in case anyone doesn't: the Alice game series developed by American McGee has officially come to an end, EA won't give space for “Alice: Asylum” to happen.

We waited 13 years for a no, for our dreams to be shattered, 13 years spent hoping on something that has now turned to dust. Does that sound fair to anyone? Especially to us players, who have been robbed of comfort, of a safe space, of genuine enjoyment of our free time... But this isn't the first time, is it? This isn't the first time EA has played with the player's and developer's feelings, time and energy for their own ego. In their eyes we are nothing but mere nobodies.

But that’s only because they have no idea of what we can do as a community ready to start a fight we can't lose, the worst has already happened, they already denied us the right to a new “Alice” game (Which, shall I add, THEY proposed to American McGee).

Worst case scenario: things stay the same, there is nothing they can do that goes against any of us. Then why don’t we show them our actual importance as the players-base? Do they seriously think they can put us aside?

We are what keeps these companies running, what gives them power, and at the same time we give and we take back. We're the ones who hold the cards in this game, it's our turn to play.

Personally talking, that game has always been something I could have called a second home at any moment, because it was warm, familiar, and comforting. We go through the journey, we explore her mind and deepest afflictions with her, we get to know “Wonderland” as a whole, not just as a fairytale. It was the start for so many different passions and it's been so much time since I first played but it never stopped having a special place in my heart... When I felt like an outcast, that game never failed to remind me that everyone is a bit weird in their own way and that if people aren't willing to accept you for who you are, maybe the next person will be, just let time do its thing, don't try to rush things or change for someone who is not willing to perceive you on the same level but only willing to look down on you.

Aside from all of this, please, help us spread the message, help us bring back Alice, help us put EA back into its place.

Sign the petition to help us try to bring back Alice Asylum!

https://chng.it/Dc96tS7PKH

#we want alice #alice asylum #american mcgee's alice #alice in madness #alice madness returns #do better EA

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lollytea · 1 year

Note

Controversial opinion off anon edition: I do not like the Hunter vs Amity trope. The genuine versus, like Amity and Hunter not being able to stand in a room together type of genuine. I like the idea of Amity and Hunter having an unspoken understanding of each other, since they came out of similar situations where someone else was trying to tell them how to be. They both managed to break free of it and find themselves. A common reason I see for the trope is “Hunter threatened Luz in front of Amity and she could never forgive that after trying to offer him friendship” but nearly everyone has threatened Luz after an offer, he’s not somehow special or held to a different expectation.

Another reason why I want them to be friends instead is because I hc Amity and Hunter as autistic and, being autistic myself, I think it’s funny when they hate crime each other. Literally every time I think of them going at it I picture the 2020 meme on Twitter about “girls w autism vs guys w autism”.

YEAH. In fairness I don't really see people putting any genuine animosity between Amity and Hunter in their content lately. It used to be a huge thing but has died down a significant amount. But yeah it's just. They like each other, man. Hunter has liked Amity since he met her. Eclipse Lake is a very funny rewatch if you focus on how Hunter just seemed to decide that Amity was his new bestie, undeterred by the fact that she was adamantly rejecting it.

I cannot imagine Amity possibly holding the terrible things Hunter did against him. Because Amity understands exactly why he did them more clearly than anyone else could. She understands just how desperate and scared you get when you're under your abusive parent's thumb and the terrible decisions you make as a result. Why would Amity blame him? She's been him.

I DO think that their relationship is initially a little awkward tho. Especially from Hunter's end. While Amity thinks everything's gucci between them, he still feels guilty and embarrassed over what he did to her in Eclipse Lake and assumes she still resents him over it. She doesn't. Like it never even crossed her mind that this would be a thing that he's worried about. She knows he's a lot like her so she tries to look out for him and treat him how she would like to be treated.

That's always been my interpretation of how they both behaved in TTT during the cosplay scene. Amity is a former mean girl. She used to be soooo blunt and judgemental. And you can see her struggling not to give her honest opinion on Hunter's fit. Because Amity doesn't want to be mean. She's nice. She wants to be nice. However....she knows damn well that if that boy steps out in public looking like that, somebody is gonna bully him (because in another universe SHE'D bully him) so she'd prefer to avoid that. So she tells him to change as politely as she can.

Meanwhile, Hunter agrees to change immediately, despite Willow and Gus ADORING his fit, despite HIM adoring his fit, and Willow begging him to keep it on. Hunter listens to Amity over Willow. Think about that for two seconds and wonder why that is.

In my opinion, he's tiptoeing around her. He's trying to keep the peace. He tried to kill her and threatened her girlfriend. He's gonna do whatever the fuck Amity Blight tells him to with a smile on his face. Amity is none the wiser.

However I don't imagine this will last much longer. They're absolutely going to become much more comfortable with each others after the events of the series and won't be nearly as awkward and careful.

Amity and Hunter are both very high strung, opinionated, passionate people. I know that if there was ever a topic they disagreed on, they would go to war over it. I'm talking a full blazing shouting match in Camila's living room. They're besties <3

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midnightdevotion · 2 years

Text

Shattered

Part 4 of the Safe Series

Rooster x reader

Not ready to end it here though so there will be more parts of their relationship evolving and them in future based settings :)

Warnings: This story features domestic violence, please do not read if that triggers you, mention of injuries, Swearing? mentions of not eating/sleeping (PLEASE EAT AND DRINK YOUR WATER) Hangman being a soft good friend to rooster. there's fluff in this one too.

a/n: ummm this came out of me like word vomit, fingers typing so fast it was insane. if there's mistakes which there probably will be just let me know. SORRY FOR THE ANGST

It's been 8 days. 192 hours. 11,520 minutes. The doctors have stopped giving you the medication that induces the coma, you still haven't woken up. The brain swelling went down after the fourth day, you went off the medication officially on the 7th day.

Rooster hasn't left your side, he uses the shower in your hospital room and eats shitty hospital food or whatever the dagger team brings him. Mav has told him not to come to work, to take all the time he needs but he doesn't know how to tell Mav all he needs is you.

He hardly sleeps. He almost hears your joking voice calling the bags under his eyes designer. Every time he shuts his eyes, he sees you, laying on the ground lifeless. He see's the way your eyes lose their sparkle and they flutter shut. He see's the blood that pools around you, oh god so much blood. He hears someone walk in, but he doesn't bother to lift his head.

"Bradley, I brought you some food" it's Phoenix. He swallows hard, knowing they are worried about him but god his stomach feels like a rock. How is he supposed to eat when you're not okay. How is he supposed to sleep, shower, breathe, like you aren't in here fighting for your life.

When he doesn't make a move to grab the food, staying hunched over your hospital bed, gripping your hand like a lifeline. To be fair, in his mind if he lets go he might drown. In the silence, in the nothingness that he feels, in the chaos of his mind.

"Roos you gotta eat, you know she'd want you to eat" He knows that, of course he knows that. In the few weeks you were basically living with him, you'd get up and make him breakfast. Teasing him that a granola bar and protein shake was not breakfast.

Maverick tried to get him to go home to sleep the first few nights, but he couldn't. Not when he'd walk in and be reminded of you humming melodies while cooking, or crying at the sad part of a show you were making him watch with you. Not when he'd walk in and smell that candle you loved to burn, or hear your laughter echoing in his head as he thinks of the night he made you dance with him to the end credit song of some cheesy movie.

He snaps out of it when he feels Phoenix shake his shoulder, the emotions of it all still thick in his throat. He finally glances up at her, and he sees the worry in her eyes. He doesn't want his team to be worried about him, but he can't go on like things are normal. Like his heart isn't shattered around him.

"when's the last time you slept" and it's a good question really, he's not even 100% sure. He can feel his eyes are dry and most likely bloodshot, but he can't find it in him to care.

"I uh- yesterday I think" they both know he's lying, it's been closer to three days ago that he last slept. Thankfully Phoenix doesn't say anything about his obvious lie.

She just puts his food in front of him, on a little tray the sweet nurse brought in. He knows Phoenix well enough to know she won't be leaving until he finishes the food. It doesn't bother him, he does feel bad that they clearly need to babysit him, but he's so grateful to have people in his life like this.

He can't help but wonder how his mom went through this, all alone, with no hope that her husband would be okay. That thought startles him a little bit, because yeah clearly you two were headed down a path of love, but he thinks he might be farther down the path than he thought. He looks over at Phoenix, dropping your hand to pick up his sandwich.

"Phoenix I can't lose her"

"You won't" Her tone is confident, and leaves no room for what ifs.

"I-I think I'm in love with her" If it were any other time Phoenix would respond with a resounding 'no shit' but he's fragile enough right now so she's gentle.

"I know you do- and you will get to tell her rooster" she adds the last part because she knows, she knows that he's so worried he's gonna lose her before she was ever even his to lose. She's relieved when she sees him finally take a damn bite.

His chewing is slow, methodical almost. He hasn't had it in him to ask if the piece of shit that did this to you is getting what he deserves. He's talked to the cops, not that he remembers his conversation with them.

"Is he... he can't touch her again" his voice is so rough and gravelly, mostly from not using his voice much over the last week.

"No Bradley, never again. He's going away for attempted murder, assault of Serviceman, stalking, Harassment and several counts of domestic violence. He won't ever see the light of day again." Her response should make him feel relieved, but if he's 100% honest with himself, he wishes the man was dead.

He wishes it for multiple reasons, so you wouldn't have to live in any fear, if he's dead he can never touch you again. He wishes it because it's not fair, you're here struggling to live, not waking up and he's alive. It almost scares Bradley, he's never been an overly violent man, but here he is wishing he could've killed someone.

He finishes the sandwich before Phoenix speaks again.

"I spoke with the doctors, they were saying she should be waking up soon.."

"I hope so" His voice is just a whisper. He's never felt so desperate, not when his papers got pulled, not when he was in the back of that plane with maverick seconds away from death, but here he is, desperate to the point his leg doesn't stop shaking, his hands tremble and he can't sleep.

All he wants is for you to open your eyes, to see the beautiful sparkle shine back at him. To see your smile and hear your laugh echo not only in his memories but out loud where it's tangible.

He wants to walk into the living room and see you passed out on the couch, or your tired eyes and sleepy smile when you insist on waking up with him. He wants it all, he wants all of you. It scares the shit out of him.

Natasha sticks around for another hour, before making her way out. He knows it'll be a few hours before Jake shows up. Every evening like clock work at 7:00 pm the cocky blonde walks through that door. With dinner, sometimes home cooked, sometimes take out, but every night without fail.

He presses the back of your hand to his forehead. His daily ritual of talking to you, hoping eventually you will wake up and respond.

"Please darling... you gotta wake up soon. I-I can't stand seeing you like this, lifeless, when you and I both know you're the most lively person. Hell sweetheart you always make me feel alive, more than anything i've ever done."

"You gotta be okay, you-you're a fighter and you're so so strong baby girl. I need you to be strong for me." he talks to you like you're a god he's praying too. In his eyes, you are godly. The way you got through this and didn't lose your softness, the way you still shine like the goddamn sun. His sun.

"I-I love you sunshine... you can't leave me before I get to tell you that" His eyes feeling too heavy to keep going, drift shut. Finally getting at least some semblance of sleep after three days.

He's startled awake by none other than Jake 'Hangman' Seresin. That man is anything but subtle. Tonight he brought the broken aviator some pizza, figuring it's a hell of a comfort food. Jake would never admit it, but he's spent time researching the best comfort foods, and has been making his way down the list.

Tonight, He places two little blue pills down next to his food. When Rooster looks at them and then up at Jake, he sees how worried even hangman is for him. The thought kind of grosses him out, he never thought he'd see the day the smug pilot was well, anything but smug.

"Sleeping pills, you're taking them" and there's no room for argument, not that rooster wants to argue. He's desperate for sleep, his headache that's lasted two days is getting a bit unbearable at this point.

So he nods, and he takes the pills and then continues eating. The most he's eaten all week, which makes it sound like a lot but 3 pieces of pizza and a breadstick is pretty small considering the normal portions he eats.

Hangman stays, eating the rest of the pizza, until Rooster falls asleep. Hoping the pills give his friend some semblance of peace. He researched what sleeping pills to get too, and these ones are supposed to have the least dream activity. He can't help but leave with some parting words to you.

"c'mon already, he's gonna waste away" and he walks out of the room, knowing Maverick will be back in the morning with breakfast.

You could hear everything. The entire week, hearing roosters cries, hearing him beg and plead and talk to you. None of it was easy, but hearing him say he loved you, when you couldn't even respond. Torture. At the beginning of the week, you weren't sure what was happening, too weak to fully comprehend. Then you heard the word 'induced coma' and it started to make more sense.

You'd heard stories of people in coma's being able to hear the people around them but you never knew it was true and it would happen to you. All you wanted to do was wake up and kiss the man who wasn't left your side for more than 10 minutes at a time usually when people forced him to get up and shower, or go for a quick walk. You were so so thankful that they were taking care of him like this. You were also going to give him a stern talking to. He wasn't taking care of himself and that just would not fly.

Slowly though, you were more and more aware, the fogginess going away ever so slowly. Until it finally happened. Your finger twitches, and you wiggled your toes.

It felt like an eternity before your eyelids fluttered open. It was about two in the morning, and you had no interest of calling in a doctor to check on you, not yet. They could do it in the morning. You still felt sore and tender just about everywhere, but when you looked at the curly haired pilot on your lap you didn't care.

You let him sleep, softly playing with his hair. God you missed him so much. Content you just let him sleep on your lap, despite the uncomfortable way his back looked. You knew if you woke him, he would refuse to go back to sleep.

It was around 6 in the morning when Maverick walked through the hospital door. You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you when you saw the surprise on his face. Wincing as your bruised ribs jostled with the laugh.

"Well you're certainly not who I was expecting to be the awake one" his voice is teasing but you can see the smile in his eyes.

"god it took way too long to wake up" he raised his eyebrow at this, because how could you possible know. You explained to him that you heard everything, and all you wanted was to wake back up.

"He's been a shell of a person without you" your eyes tear up a bit, because you know, and it's all your fault.

"i-i know... I'm so sorry" and you're shocked by what maverick says next.

"don't be, that's the abuse talking. I'm just telling you that he needs you, and it's a good thing. Bradley deserves to have someone that fills him up with love and joy and everything else, just please don't willingly leave him empty" The tears are streaming down your face, and you admire maverick so much, he clearly loves Bradley like a son and only wants the best for him.

Rooster starts to stir, and you thank maverick for everything he's done, for Bradley and for you. He just grins, and waves you off, but you know it means a lot to him based on the watery look of his eyes.

"make sure he eats, and we will all be back later to see you" he squeezes your free hand before leaving you two to talk.

It takes a few more minutes for rooster to fully wake up, he groans and rubs his eyes, glad his headache is gone but not ready to face another day with out you.

"morning handsome" and his heart freezes, stalls out, can he breathe? You see the look on his face, as he slowly turns to you, eyes meeting yours and you give him a gentle smile.

"Oh my god" it's a small mutter, barely heard over your heart monitor. you squeeze his hand lightly, and he springs into action.

"oh my god oh my god. Nurse! Doctor! she's awake!" you can't help the laugh that leaves you, he's so frantically sticking his head out the door. A nurse rushes in, and when she gathers that it's just you have woken up she grins.

"you know this man here hasn't left your side, definitely a keeper" she whispers to you when she does a quick check of your injuries, mostly to appease the pilot. Said pilot is watching, standing by the door arms folded and eyebrows raised so high you'd think you're in trouble.

You were correct.

"What the actual hell were you thinking!! Goin outside like that ALONE when you know he was after you!!" it makes your heart feel light and airy.

"Oh uh-uh Lieutenant you didn't sleep for like three days, let alone you hardly ate or took care of yourself at all!" You watch him freeze, a sheepish smile taking over his face.

"who told you that" It's a mumble, like he's embarrassed he got caught.

"nobody, I could hear everything roos" Realization dawns on his face and it changes to panic after about ten.

"e-everything?" you can't help the smile that graces your face.

"You can tell me now" it's cheeky and you know it but the way his cheeks turn red and he swallows hard has you so so happy.

"well I wanted to do it in a more romantic setting, but I love you sunshine" and yeah okay you heard him in your coma, but seeing his eyes soft and cheeks pink with the tiniest of smiles makes your heart stop.

"I love you too roos" he moves delicately closer, still so aware of your injuries and you're pretty sure he's gonna treat you like you're made of porcelain now.

He brings a kiss down onto your lips, but he's gone as quick as he was there. He laughs at the shock on your face and shakes his head.

"sorry honey but you're injured so no getting frisky with me" You roll your eyes, a smile on your face. You know recovery is going to be a long journey, mentally and physically, but with Bradley holding your hand, you can do anything.

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