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lunajay33 · 3 months

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Enjoy the Silence🌪️

Summary: Things in your past has driven you to be silent but will someone be able to break that shell, will someone finally listen to you(might make this into a series!)

•Masterlist•

Things happened, awful painful things happened to me as a child even as a teen, that feeling never really went away, it was there deep in your heart, lingering at the back of your mind so I learned to never let those things happen again because my heart couldn’t handle that, so now I stay silent I don’t let anyone in

So when the apocalypse happened I got to run away from the things that were holding me back, from the people that hurt me and I got to find a group at the quarry that were so kind, they accepted me, they accepted after awhile that I didn’t talk they were my family now but there was still the thought of getting hurt so I kept that part of myself locked away

But I heard the others talk about it sometimes, they just thought I was mute and I’d rather then think that than the real reason

When we found the prison I thought things might be getting better but then that fell and then terminus brought up so much pain but now we were finally someone secure, Alexandria

The two house split up the group, I stayed with Rick Michonne Carl Judith and Daryl, my room being right next to Daryl’s which made me feel safe, every since I met him at the quarry I felt this peace around him, I never knew why until I saw the scars that littered his body that’s when I knew he felt my pain, he understood

And from the way he looked at me I think he knew why I was also silent which took that weight off my chest

I got up from my bed and went to get ready for the day in mine and Daryl’s shared bathroom in the basement, I brushed my teeth pulled my hair back for the day and got dressed in my shorts and long sleeves black shirt, I opened up the door to leave when I bumped into Daryl scaring me a bit from the impact

“Oh sorry” he said looking down at me

I just smiled and moved to the side to let him past, when he passed he brushed his hand over my shoulder giving me this weird feeling in my chest I’ve never felt before, usually I hated people touching me but for some reason his touch was…..nice

I walked upstairs grabbing an apple and heading out to the gardens, during the day Maggie and I usually worked on maintaining the gardens, it was relaxing and helped me forget about what plagued my mind, the day went on as usual, until it was my turn for watch, I sat on the perch looking over the wall

I always watched at night, me and someone else well whoever wanted to, the others in the group said I shouldn’t be out every night and to switch regularly every other day with someone but I just shook my head and continued this routine

As I was watching the sight before me, the occasional straggle walker waiting for my watch partner, some people I preferred over others as they didn’t push me to talk and just enjoyed the silence with me

That’s when the ladder started creaking as someone climbed up to take watch with me, the grunt that I heard when the person sat next to me I knew exactly who it was and that feeling in my chest was back

I looked at him greeting him with a simple smile which he returned and that feeling just grew, it was confusing I didn’t know what it was it was so foreign maybe that’s just what happened when I felt comfortable with someone, that must be it

“Have a good day?” He asked looking at me

I nodded resting my head on my hand that was perched up on my knee, then I motioned to him for his response

“Day was alright, went on a run actually found somethin fer ya” he said as he rummaged through his bag he brought up, it was a surprise for sure no one really ever got me anything….like every

He pulled out a new pair of boots and a new long sleeve shirt, I gasped at this gesture it made my chest feel tight with happiness

I took the boots and tried them on and they were a perfect fight the shirt looked like the right size too, instead of black like my usually shirt this one was dark green

“I saw yer shoes were falling apart and ya only wear this black shirt, thought ya might like somethin’ new” he said grunting, clearing his through but I knew this kind of thing wasn’t normal for him either

I felt so happy someone would do this for me, I placed my hand on his and squeezed it hoping he realized by my touching him, which was rare, showed how much this really meant to me

“It ain’t a problem” he said turning his hand to hold mine, I thought he’d pull away but he didn’t and I liked it, for the next few hours of our shift we sat there in silence, some occasional questions but he held my hand the whole time, something new, something warm

Our shift was over now as Abraham and Sasha replaced us

“Get some sleep you two” Sasha said smiling as you both started walking back to your house

~~~~~~~~~~~

Daryl’s POV

She gasped, a noise actually left her, and it was the cutest thing ever, there was something about her, maybe because she was quiet she didn’t try and fill the silence with stupid chit chat, sure I liked to talk with some people normal conversations but with her it was some of the only time that I felt relaxed

And when her eyes lit up at the present she looked so happy which a lot of us never really got to see, for as long as I’ve known her I’ve never really seen her happy, but this little gesture shows that she never really got presents kind of like me

But even though I was closed off most of the time except with Rick and Carol, I wanted to be able to get closer to her, show her she can be happy, but I don’t wanna push her too much, just a little at a time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Normal POV

Last night I had the best sleep of my life, maybe it was the peaceful evening with Daryl, maybe it was the way he made me feel and distracted me, but whatever it was I was able to sleep through the whole night without waking up from a nightmare

I got dressed in my new boots and new shirt, along with my usual jean shorts, I only had one pair but I felt like too much of a burden to ask for a new pair even though I’ve only been wearing these since the farm when Maggie gave them to me after my pants were ripped

But I mean Daryl gave me this shirt and boots maybe it wouldn’t be too much of a problem to ask for him to keep an eye out on his next scavenging outage, they always came around asking everyone if people needed something and I always declined, so just this once so be fine….right?

I went upstairs and Carl Michonne Rick and Daryl were sat at the table having breakfast, Rick holding Judith and feeding her pieces of peaches, normally I’d take something and leave but after last night I wanted to get closer to everyone even just with small little gestures, so I decided to sit at the table in the open chair by Michonne

Everyone looked at me first with shocked expressions but smiled after they realized what happened

“Morning! Have a good sleep?” Michonne asked smiling as she put a pancake on my plate

I nodded smiling genuinely, finally feeling refreshed after actually being able to sleep through a whole night

“Are you working on the garden again today?” Carl asked

Again I nodded shovelling the pancakes into my mouth, starving from having missed supper last night

“Are the tomatoes rip yet I’m wanna make pasta for the family” Rick asked

I held my fingers close together showing that the tomatoes were close to being done and Rick was happy about it, I helped clean up from breakfast and went to head to the garden but right before I left the porch I saw Daryl was already cleaning his bow and thought this was the best time to ask

I went and stood infront of him fiddling with the ends of my shirt, he looked at me as he sat his bow down

“Ya good?” He asked

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to someone so this was a big deal for me

“Ummm…..can you look for shorts for me next time you go out, if it’s not too much to ask” I blurted out quickly wanting to get it over with

It was silent for a while and it was getting uncomfortable for me, he was the only one I finally got the courage to actually talk too and now he’s the one not talking

“Sorry” I said turning to leave but before I made it down the porch he gently took my shoulder stopping me

“I can do that, I’ll bring ya back a few ta pick from” he said giving me a gently smile

I felt that weight lift from my chest, I nodded smiling and left to harvest any rip foods, as I was placing some strawberries in a basket I kept thinking about Daryl, I only ever really see him smile like that when he was talking to me or Carol and it made those butterflies erupt in my stomach, and it was driving me insane I didn’t know what this meant

“Here have some water it’s hot as hell out today” Maggie said breaking me from my thoughts as she handed me her water bottle, I wiped of my hands and chugged some feeling a bit better

The sun was really beating down today and the longsleeve wasn’t helping but it was like a safe thing for me to feel covered, shorts were fine but I liked being fully covered on my top half for some reason, maybe I’ll just take a break in side for a second

I took the strawberries bringing them to the kitchen for Olivia to store, I took a few and brought them back to the house placing them in the fridge for the others, after cooling off I headed back out to help Maggie and let her take her break

I was working later into the evening after harvesting the food, I went on to pick off any dead leaves, replanting some sprout to make more plants and doing some watering, now that the sun was setting I sat on the patch of grass off of the garden relaxing after a long day of work, feeling the little breeze blow through my hair

I was so relaxed almost falling asleep when someone sat next to me shaking my shoulder

“Hey” that gruff voice I knew anywhere, looking beside me to see Daryl with his bag again

“Me and Rick went out on a little run today, found a store that was barely looked through” he placed his bag infront of me motioning to it

I pulled out like 5 pairs of shorts all kinda similar to the ones I have now but in varying colors, denim blue, black, light denim, army green, and dark grey plus all the same size as mine now, he really new my sizes perfectly

I held them too my chest smiling so much my cheeks hurt

“Thank you” I said

“No probelm, maybe next time ya can come with me”

“Sure!”

“Ya know I’m still not use ta ya talkin ta me……I like it” he said making be blush

“You’re the only one…..I’m comfortable with you”

“Why?” He asked you just shrugged your shoulders

“Ya can talk ta me ya know”

“I know I’m just not…..not yet”

“I get it, we should go home get some dinner before Carl eats everything” he said standing holding his hand out for me, I held the shorts tight and took his hand but he didn’t let go all the way back to the house

Something new was happening, it was scary but I was willing to try whatever this was

—///—///—///—///—///—///—///—

Part.2<-

Thinking of doing a part 2 if you wanna be in the taglist comment!!

Taglist: @deansapplepie

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crystaldust · 7 months

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If you're feeling stuck with non dualism, this might be able to help you

warning: long post

You get into this philosophy and you see bloggers advice to just claim everything as "not yours, not your problem" and move on with your day. What I'm realizing recently is that maybe not everyone can start off doing that, at least I certainly couldn't.

I believe what they mean by claiming thoughts as not yours is to leave the mind alone so that it can become quiet, as encouraged by Lester in his book. But what he also says is that doing that can be really difficult sometimes if your subconscious is filled with opposing feelings and thoughts to what you'd like to have in your life. So he advised to clear some of that subconscious heavy weight before trying to quiet the mind. (You can read more about this here)

And here's the big breakthrough for me: learning about the Sedona Method and practices of letting go of subconscious beliefs. I went ahead and found more material on it (you can access everything here), I've read some of it and started to apply it.

Now I had been practicing introspection for over a year so I am acutely aware of most of my subconscious issues (which make up this ego's identity in the world) but what I realized was that even though I had been aware of these self issues for a long time, I never tried to let go of them. I've had attached myself to them, claimed them to be my identity, they made me who I was.

With this new knowledge on how to let go, I started to try it out, everytime i felt bad or encountered unwanted circumstances, I'd try my best not to suppress the feelings or thoughts that would come up. Then I started to ask myself "Can I let go of this?" or "Can I let this be / Can I be ok with it?" and if I got an answer of "no" I'd then ask "Why not?" and immediately I'd see that it was just because that's how it is for the ego, it's a habitual pattern. And by now I already know that memory and continuity are part of the ego illusion so there's no real standing for these patterns to be in place. I just kept them there because I didn't know better.

The more I practiced letting go in this way, the easier it got and now I'm at a place where the mind is starting to naturally grow quieter. I'm not even asking those questions as much anymore, I immediately recognize what's happening and I let it be, whatever it is. It is also easier for me to do self-inquiry now and sometimes I catch myself wanting to focus on finding out my true nature rather than indulging the ego and it's never ending cycle of desiring and suffering.

The ego still wants to think and overanalyze everything, running in circles, but I have this knowing sense that it's useless, there's no point in thinking about anything. I still am experiencing the ego's life just as before but now I am being able to detach, to say "not me, not my problem" and move on mentally quite quickly. I don't dwell on the bad anymore. It happened to the ego and there's nothing they could have done about it, it is what it is, I don't need to entertain it anymore.

I still acknowledge the ego's desires and fears but I can actually leave it alone now, I KNOW it's not my true self and I'm at peace with it. I feel whatever comes up and then a minute later it's gone and I rarely think about it. I'm able to be more present and live in the moment.

All of this is to say that I had to understand and practice letting go to a degree in order to be able to understand and practice what more advanced bloggers recommend.

Final tips: ♡ Practice introspection, go deep and be honest with yourself. Understand who the ego is, what it feels and believes in, how it gets triggered and why. This will make it easier to make peace with it and let it alone. ♡ Start practicing letting everything happen, and I mean everything, every circumstance, every feeling, every thought. Try to control nothing. You might notice that if you let the ego do it's thing, it will pipe down quite easily. ♡ Remember that every single thing comes from the ego, every thought, every feeling, every fear, every doubt, every desire and every circumstance. And the ego is absolutely helpless in it's pursue. You can't help it, what you can do is accept it and love it unconditionally (you can actually do this!)

Big thanks to @4dkellysworld for turning me in the right direction 💖

#o #non dualism #nondualism #letting go #surrendering #4dbarbie #welp scared to post this lol #personal journey

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devildom-moss · 1 year

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Moonlit Bath

(Diavolo x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (slightly submissive Diavolo) (NSFW tags: brief food play, sex in the water, oral, biting, marking, penetration with no condom, creampie, cock warming, outdoor sex, very sweet and gentle, no specifics about MC's genitals which was a bit difficult, but I didn't want to make two versions - maybe next time, though?)

Word Count: +3,600

“Please, Lucifer?” Diavolo was already a full minute into his appeal with no sign of Lucifer giving him an inch.

“No; must I repeat myself again, Diavolo?” Lucifer sighed and set his drink down on the table between them. “I’m not giving you my blessing. You can invite them, and they can accept, but I won’t pretend to be happy about it.”

“Please, reconsider,” Diavolo decided to switch tactics, “MC has been so exhausted recently. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Lucifer tensed up. Got him, Diavolo thought. Lucifer leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs, intertwining his fingers and cupping his hands around his knee. “You realize that you’re twisting me into an uncomfortable position, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Diavolo smiled, “so?”

“As I said, you can invite them, and MC is free to go with you. Just make sure they have a good time, alright?”

“Of course,” Diavolo held his hand out to Lucifer, “thank you, Lucifer. I will ensure MC enjoys themselves.”

Lucifer took Diavolo’s hand firmly – aggressively so – and cautioned his friend, “you had better return them in one piece.”

That conversation held behind closed doors preceded Diavolo’s invitation to take you on an overnight trip. He was right about you being exhausted, and it was no surprise that the House of Lamentation had played a part in that. You loved the brothers, but sometimes they drained your energy. So, when Diavolo was gifted two vouchers for an overnight resort, you were the first person on his mind. You deserved a break, and he craved a night alone with you. Although he knew that your decision was all that mattered, he didn’t like the idea of Lucifer being upset with him, and Diavolo knew that Lucifer hated to let you leave his side for longer than a few hours. Having preemptively smoothed things over with Lucifer, Diavolo finished his drink and eagerly sought you out.

“MC, would you be willing to clear your schedule this weekend for me?” Diavolo asked with a childlike grin.

“I can probably manage that, but what do you need me for?”

He presented the voucher to you, “would you go to an overnight resort with me? Each room has gorgeous outdoor baths, and the resort provides guests with a large selection of bath products to enhance the experience. They also have chefs from across the Devildom to provide room service. The resort offers massages, as well. You could relax with me for a full day.”

“Really?” You perked up.

“Of course,” Diavolo laughed, “and if that isn’t enough, the manager informed me that they have small, crow-shaped portable freezers, so you can fill them up with drinks and desserts and enjoy them in the bath. A few gourmet ice cream brands partnered with the resort, so they have the best options.”

You pulled Diavolo into a hug, “you had me at overnight resort, but that all sounds amazing! I’d love to go with you! Thank you so much.”

Diavolo chuckled and picked you up in his arms, twirling you around. He couldn’t look away from that smile – it was as if the invitation itself had rejuvenated you. Anticipation rose in his chest: a whole day alone with you where you could just enjoy yourself around him. If you could feel at peace with him, he would be the happiest demon in all three realms. He couldn’t resist peppering kisses all over your face.

“I promise you’ll have a good time,” you could feel the joy in his words and the smile on his lips as he kissed down your neck. He pulled away from you reluctantly, a slight pout on his lips, “but for now, I have to head back to the castle. Barbatos won’t let me so much as leave my office this weekend if I don’t get my work done on time, so I need to get that done for you.”

“My prince,” you kissed him once more to hold him over. “Work hard. I won’t slack off either, so we can enjoy this weekend together.”

Diavolo’s chest flooded with affection. He bit his lip, wondering if you would allow him to be greedy with you, “can I have one more kiss? Please?”

“Yes, my little prince,” you placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Now, get your work done.”

You both kept your ends of the deal, and when Diavolo drove up to the House of Lamentation that Saturday morning, no one could deter you from getting into that car. The drive was relaxing in its own way, and it gave you an opportunity to stare at Diavolo all you wanted. He could see you watching him from the corner of his eyes, and it took all the restraint he had not to pull the car over in some scenic location and fuck you right there – or let you fuck him. He didn’t really care, so long as he could touch you.

It was a quarter past noon when you checked in. Before you walked into the room, Diavolo confessed, “I requested that they give us a room with only one bed. I hope that wasn’t too presumptuous of me, given our relationship.”

“Of course, it’s fine. I’m a bit insulted that you think I wouldn’t want to share a bed with you,” you joked as he unlocked the door. You pulled him into the room and towards the bed, gently pushing him onto it. He stared up at you expectingly, and you rewarded him with a kiss. You pulled away and stared at his soft gold eyes; desire lived in his eyes when he looked at you – an emotional exhibitionist who bared his feelings for you. When Diavolo made himself so easy to read, you almost felt impure for looking at him, knowing you were seeing something no one else would, as he had expressed so many times that he only showed these sides of himself to you. You smiled at him to hide your shame at witnessing such raw honesty. Still only inches from his lips, you spoke, “I’m looking forward to getting you in bed later tonight, my little prince.”

Diavolo could feel his face burning. For a brief moment, he wanted to forgo all other plans and spend the next few hours in bed with you, but he knew that patience would pay off.

Diavolo stomached someone else’s hands on your body during the couples massage he booked – although he made a point to hold your hand the whole time, much to the inconvenience of both of your masseuses. It seemed as if Diavolo was intent on touching you to his heart’s content today. He even suggested that you feed each other when you ordered room service. As advertised, you two enjoyed a relaxing afternoon – although Diavolo could not determine whether the resort had a larger impact on this peace or whether it was you. Actually, no, he knew it was mostly you, but he could only hope you would say the same about him. He was too embarrassed to ask.

With the early hours of night upon you and the moon beginning to rise in the sky, you and Diavolo visited the resort’s shop to select your bath products and filled your portable freezer up with a selection of fancy macarons and pints of ice cream. Diavolo held the freezer up and smiled, “this is so cute, it kind of looks like one of the crows that follows Mammon around, right?”

“That really chubby one?”

“Exactly!” Diavolo laughed. “Do you think they sell these? I would love to have one of them at the castle. I could fill it with your favorite ice cream and keep it in my room. That way, if you’re ever having a rough day, you can come directly to me, and even if I can’t help, I’ll have ice cream.”

He was always thinking of you, and it was so sweet that it was hard to respond to, so instead, you pet him, taking the time to enjoy how soft his hair was. Diavolo melted against your hand. Finally, you managed to speak, “I’m sure we can find a way to get you one.”

Diavolo grinned and started to pull you out onto the room’s private patio. Leafy trees and stone walls isolated you from other customers without hindering your view of the sky. From the cliffside on which the resort was located, you could even look out above a small oceanside town and the vast body of water. The moon floated just above the horizon, leaving a small space between its brilliant glow and a wavering reflection.

The bath was a massive natural stone structure, sunk into the ground with more than enough room for four people – which explained why the bath bombs were so large and came in a pack of two. A slightly raised stone bar was attached to the bath, and on it was a basket of towels, a bottle of Demonus in an ice bucket, and two wine glasses. Next to the bath was a showerhead attached to the tall stone wall. A variety of cool colored Devildom flora were planted around the patio, with a deep violet flower sprouting up near the edge of the bath catching your eye. It was almost a perfect contrast to Diavolo’s eyes.

“What do you think, MC?” Diavolo asked you.

“This is gorgeous, Diavolo! I almost can’t believe I’m in the Devildom,” you stared in awe. He laughed in the face of your honesty before turning your gaze towards him, running his thumb across your lower lip.

“One day, I’m going to show you just how beautiful the Devildom can be. I want to take you to every pretty place and watch as the shock slowly disappears – so that whenever you leave, you dream of coming back to me.”

He looked so sincere. You wanted to apologize for how you phrased your awe, but he kissed you before you could speak. One of his hands started to play with the hem of your shirt. Diavolo had been patient long enough, and he had been looking forward to bathing in the moonlight with you more than anything. He wanted your naked body pressed against him in the steaming water. You squeezed his bicep softly as you kissed him back. The bliss painted across his face when he pulled away was starting to make you impatient, too.

“Get undressed,” you told him. “I’ll start running the bath while you wash off.”

As you filled the tub, ensuring that the water wasn’t too hot for your skin, you stole glances at Diavolo. He was so sensual that it was hard to believe he wasn’t purposely putting a show on for you: the water rinsing suds slowly down his chest and arms as if it was caressing him, the way his hair clung to the nape of his neck, and even the way he bent down to lather his legs seemed unfairly sexual. When the bath was nearly filled, you dropped in the bath bombs. The water became a soft, milky pink, as flower petals and herbs floated to the surface.

Diavolo came up behind you, his warm, wet body pressing against you in an embrace. He whispered into your ear, “your turn to wash up.”

You nodded, hoping that the warmth you felt was in part due to the heat of the bath. Diavolo got into the tub and watched you shamelessly as you undressed and washed yourself until you finally joined him. The second you dipped into the water, his hands were on you. He kissed you wildly, opening his mouth as if to beg you to slip your tongue inside of him. He moaned against your lips. You pulled away so you could leave kisses across the top of his chest – any part of him that rested above the water – while caressing his chest and stomach just below. He leaned back and moaned louder.

“Wait, MC,” he whimpered through shallow panting.

“Yes, my prince?” you asked against his skin.

“I brought you here to make you feel better.”

“I do feel better,” you sucked on his collarbone.

“No,” he moaned and held you by your hips, “I want to make you feel good first, please?”

You pulled back and looked at him, disheveled and slightly flushed. His lips parted desperately. Diavolo begged again, “can I? Please?”

“What did you have in mind?” you asked while smoothing his hair back.

Instead of replying, he lifted you out of the water and sat you at the edge of the bath. The stone ground was cold, but Diavolo’s warm hands caressing your hips and thighs warmed you up slightly. He placed one of your legs over his shoulder so he could easily kiss and bite your inner thighs. He eagerly sucked on your skin, leaving a trail of hickeys up your thigh before slowly kissing back down the trail of marks. You moaned and ran your hands through his hair. He pulled back slightly, pride swelling in his chest for marking you and forcing those sweet noises out of your mouth. Between the sweet scent of you and the milk bath, he felt intoxicated. Diavolo panted and asked, “can I try something?”

“Of course,” you smiled down at him. Diavolo reached for the freezer and pulled out a pint of ice cream. He scooped a small spoonful out and dropped it on your thigh.

“That’s cold,” you complained, earning a chuckle from him.

He watched it start to melt against your hot skin, slowly sliding down your thigh. Diavolo brought his tongue to your skin and licked you clean, the taste of your skin and ice cream melding. His mouth was so hot compared to the sensation before. He grabbed the bottle of Demonus and poured a generous stream down your other thigh, letting some of it drip into the bath. He licked the sticky trail of liquor off of you, pulling another moan out of you. You were so intoxicating to him.

As nice as his teasing tongue felt on your thighs, you wanted more. You used the leg he had placed on his shoulder to slowly pull him closer to you. He licked his lips as you did so.

“Want me to taste you now?” Diavolo asked. You nodded and he dove in, using his mouth to pleasure you greedily. His tongue eagerly lapping at you and his sweet moans sending vibrations through your body. He swirled his tongue around your most sensitive spots, savoring your taste. You could feel his fervor in the desperate sucking and licking, causing you to clench your eyes shut.

Suddenly, you heard a large splash in the water. You looked down at him, some of your fluids dripping from the corner of his mouth. His eyes were wide. In his excitement, his lower set of wings had sprouted out of his back. You were taken aback, but still enamored with the sight of him. You felt one wing graze your foot and tried not to laugh.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” you smiled sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I got worked up,” he averted his gaze shyly. “I can transform back.”

“No, no it’s adorable,” you chuckled and reached out to pet his head. The moonlight reflected off his hair and along his wet skin. He was so lovely. Diavolo gave you a grin that distorted your notions of what was angelic and what should have been demonic.

With your permission, he continued, allowing you to hold his head and guide him. You watched his wings twitch slightly as he moaned. The moonlight shined against the soft gold at the tip of his wings. His pretty mouth felt so good that you tilted your head back and ran your fingers through his hair mindlessly. Diavolo could tell you were getting close and started to use his hands. He pulled you closer to the edge of the tub so that he had better access. Diavolo licked one finger and slowly put it inside of you, curling his finger to bring you more pleasure.

“I’m close,” you tightened your grip on his hair.

“Good. Take whatever you need from me,” he said before continuing to put his mouth on you. He added another finger, stretching you out slightly. You rolled your hips and felt him go deeper. Diavolo savored the feeling of you clenching around his fingers and twitching against his mouth as you came for him. With little regard for your sensitivity, he gave you a few more soft licks and gentle thrusts with his fingers before he pulled them out of you. He licked his lips and gulped, ensuring that he took everything you gave him.

“MC, I can’t hold back anymore. Please, let me fuck you. Please?” Diavolo begged you. You tried to find the words to reply in your afterglow. Impatient, he continued his pleas between messy kisses along your inner thigh. His damp hair tickled your legs. “Please, I want to keep making you feel good.”

You found it impossible to deny him, and as soon as you agreed, he pulled you into the water with him. He set you on top of his lap so you could feel his hard cock against your stomach. He rubbed himself against you a few times before aligning himself with your hole, stimulating you at the same time. Slowly, he thrusted up into you, with the warm water easing the insertion. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tracing your hands along his wings – which seemed to enhance his pleasure. The water in the bath ebbed and flowed in rhythm with his thrusting. A splashing sound pulsed in harmony with his moaning and the slapping of your skin. One of Diavolo’s hands held you firmly by your back while the other rubbed your body in the thin space between the two of you. His hand snaked even lower, driving you crazy until your eyes were screwed tight.

“How does it feel?” he managed between shaky moans. You could hear the need in his voice, and you indulged him.

“You’re doing so good, my prince,” you pulled back and kissed him. Your taste still lingered in his mouth. Praise was all he needed for his hand to pick up speed and pressure for you. His thrusts became slower and deeper, causing you to sink your nails in his back. He moaned into the pain.

“Fuck,” he growled, “can I cum inside of you? Let me mark your insides, please.”

“Yes,” you panted, “cum for me.”

As he did, he bit your shoulder at the base of your neck in a weak attempt to muffle his moaning. The vibrations of his mouth and the sharp pain combined with the heat of his cum inside of you and the continued stimulation from his hand, which pushed you over the edge a second time.

He released your shoulder and kissed over the saliva coated indents in your skin. His eyes were hazy when he pulled back. Still inside of you, Diavolo let out a content sigh.

“I’m so happy you came with me,” he smiled and kissed the mark on your shoulder again. Realizing what he said, he got flustered, “ah, wait! I didn’t mean – I meant that I’m happy you came to the resort with me, not that you came at the same time as me.”

“I know,” you chuckled and smoothed down his hair.

“But I’m happy about that too,” he admitted, burying himself against your neck and holding you tight. You soothed his embarrassment with gentle pats.

However, the cool night air was starting to get the better of you. You interrupted his nuzzling, “Diavolo, my sweet prince, the water is getting cold. We should probably wash off and go inside.”

Diavolo refused to pull away from your neck, choosing to whine against your skin, instead. “I don’t want to take my dick out of you. It’s so warm. Is it possible to wash up and stay inside of you?”

You couldn’t resist laughing. He may be the next demon king, but right now, he was just a needy demon who loved you too much to want to be apart from you. You traced a finger down his back, feeling the slight bumps along his skin where you had scratched him. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Then at least let me wash you this time. I’ll even dry you off,” Diavolo offered through a half-genuine pout. He added, “after all, there are still plenty of hours left in the night, and I want to take care of you for every second of it.”

Bonus:

When Diavolo walked you up to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer greeted you both at the door. He was quick to spot the bite mark near the base of your neck. He glared, barely containing his demon form, “what the fuck did I tell you?”

“I brought them back in one piece – like I promised.”

“With a giant bite mark!”

“But I had a good time, Lucifer,” you admitted. His gaze instantly softened, but he pulled you into the house and closed the door on Diavolo.

“Next time you need a day off, I’ll deal with it myself,” Lucifer grumbled.

By the time you had returned to your room, you had three messages from Diavolo:

Don’t let him see your thighs, MC!

Actually, don’t show anyone else your thighs. I’d be happy if I was the only one.

Also, I had a great time with you. I can’t wait until I can spend another night alone with you. I want to make you feel even better next time.

#diavolo #gn!mc #spice tier #obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me smut #diavolo x mc #diavolo x reader #diavolo smut

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lolamarlowe65 · 1 year

Text

Slash x reader

“𝓜𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓶𝓮, 𝓶𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓮.”

“She can take my soul for the record, I don’t give a shit.”

one shot x reader

disclaimers : age gap (modern day slash), smut, thigh riding, unprotected sex, overstimulation, slash’s feral internal dialogue, cursing, smoking, rough stuff, grown girls stuff <33

4.6k words

AO3 link

iii];)’ .・• ✰ ⋆

y/n pov

I started to work as a staff member for Guns n’Roses a few months ago. Everything is great as fuck. The music, the job, the mood all around the band. In overall, everything is going well. My relationships with the band members were super friendly and they made me feel quickly as if I was part of the gang. But there is one thing. One person. Him. Slash. The moment I started my job here he immediately started teasing me. Nothing big. He tells me how much of a weird chick I am, he gives me smug smiles anytime he sees me as a way of saying “here comes the freak”. It has never felt as if he hates me or anything, it just amuses him to see me rolling my eyes to his puns. When I first discovered Slash, I admit that I developed a crush on him, you know the “rockstar crush”. I didn’t start to work here for that, but seeing him almost everyday was definitely a plus, well, if he didn’t drive me crazy with his provocations. It is a plus, yes, but I actually never thought of trying anything with him. I am a younger chick in whom he’d see no interest, apart from a way of having fun. I wouldn’t mind but that would be too complicated to manage with this job. Honestly, most of the time, his jokes make me laugh. I look at him with a pissed off grin and say “haha” or I stick out my tongue. It became a game between us. To the words of Duff “leave the girl alone man”. Apparently, Slash doesn’t listen to his best friend’s advice because he never stops. If we weren’t so different or if I knew him a little better I would say he’s flirting with me. “What a weird chick you are.” sounds like a love declaration coming from a man with such an attraction for creepy stuff. I do think about it as flirting sometimes. Mostly the days when I'm not in the mood for his jokes I imagine he’s flirting with me, helps me to not actually kill him. Being with a man like him wouldn’t bother me, actually, I would love it. He isn’t only hot and cool. He is interesting, passionate, peaceful but wild and genuinely beautiful. Beautiful on the inside and on the outside.

I am a person that’s pretty impulsive. When I feel frustrated, I will go for it, even if it means breaking my own promises. I try to hold myself back, but I have no desire to be perfect. I smoke, I have a high body count, anger issues, I keep doing the same shits over and over again and failing. But I also have skills that I don’t hide, I am strong minded and the way I see it : it has never really helped me with my relationships to people. Especially men. Labeling me “weird chick” is not original Saul. I’m sure most women are like me. But the world doesn’t see it I guess.

Today, I am not in the mood. We’ve got some problems with the gears, the venue isn’t ready and my hormones are working on me. Everything in me is boiling, every emotion. I can manage my emotions and impulses, hormones are not an excuse to be an asshole. But in this type of job, you have to take a lot of shit from people you don’t like so the band themselves don’t have to. Granted, they had to confront them in order to make their band what it is today but man, this isn’t easy. So, as for today, frustration will be my motto. One person pisses me off, I will send them to their grave.

As if it wasn’t enough, we’ve asked me to bring some guitar gear in Slash’s backstage room. I have purposely avoided him since the start of my shift, which is not easy when you are working for him. So far it seems to work, changing hallways last minute, not going to the crowded places and most importantly, his backstage room. From the glimpses of him I saw thorough the day I could tell you how beautiful he looked. He always does, but today it’s working on me. Which is frustrating me even more because I want to see him as much as I want to avoid him. His style didn’t change much from any other day, the sunglasses, the leather jacket, the hat and one of those shirts he has the secret of. It’s just that today is a day where my mind said fuck off to any type of morals I may try to have and I have to manage it as best as I can.

Before going into his backstage room, I made sure he wasn’t around. As I enter the room and leave his gear I can’t help but stop in front of the mirror before heading out. I contemplate my reflection, my eyes lingering over my body. The sadder part with those days is that I feel like I can’t and will never be understood or loved. This doesn’t bother me the majority of the time because it’s probably true and I have made peace with it a long time ago. My emotions are on the verge on days like those, so I let myself grief this fact. I wouldn’t say I look beautiful. I wouldn’t say I am satisfied with my life right now. Even if it is going slowly in the right direction. I let out a tear thinking of all this and whip it away quickly.

“- Looking good y/n, trying to cosplay a zombie?” Slash laughs.

Shit. Just what I fucking needed.

“- Not today Saul.” i answer, rolling my eyes.

He is standing right behind me, I can see his smug smile and I know his eyes are playful even if they are hidden behind sunglasses.

“- Wow, Saul? Did somebody give you food after midnight?” he jokes.

I turn around and look at him with defiant eyes. He needs to be teached a lesson. You don’t piss y/n off like that. Slash or not Slash. I don’t know what I am about to do, but that’s definitely going to be interesting.

“- Fuck you. Did it ever occur to you that your teasing game might piss me off?” i ask, sassily.

“- And what are you going to do about it?” he teases, again, big smile on his lips.

“- Well… I could do that.” i say in a provocative tone.

I slowly wrap my fingers around the sides of his sunglasses and remove them off his face. I let them fall on the floor. I want to stay defiant to his eyes, I want to keep holding his gaze. Being nice and clean, putting away his sunglasses nicely is not in my scenario today. There’s a look I have never seen on him before. A fire in his eyes. He holds my gaze as hard as I hold his. My breath becomes heavier as I approach my lips dangerously to his. I can feel his chest go up and down heavily. It’s working.

“- See. Pretty annoying right?” i smile.

Fuck. The swift of breath from his lips too close to my smile is actually going to drive ME crazy. What an ass. Making me feel this way. I must stay focused. He smiles back at me, hinting his approval. He understood that we entered a game and he is letting me play. Let’s see how much I can push him before I make him mad. He doesn’t say a word, waiting for my next move. I step back and close the door. I remark that Slash is studying me, looking at my body, his stare lingering over my ass and hips. At this instant, the teasing game turned into lust.

I breathe heavily, getting him to stare back into my eyes.

“- Careful where your eyes linger big boy.” i incite, biting my lower lip.

I approach him again, purposely making him take a step back in the direction of the couch behind him.

“- I could also do that.” i smirk.

I grab his crotch. His cock hardens immediately at my grip. My pussy gets wet at this simple touch. I didn’t know how much teasing and keeping a person on edge could make me feel that much desire. Or maybe it’s Slash. Probably both, this raw, pure, lustful desire. Everything in my head is torn apart and I question everything. Did he start teasing just for fun or was he trying to hold back everything I am about to unleash right now. Was it his way of making me a part of his life? And why didn’t he make me understand this obvious desire we have for each other earlier. Fuck. I need him.

I hear him groan and get even bigger in the cup of my hand. I push him on the couch. A big guy like him wouldn’t flinch from a light push from me. I’m not weak but I did not push him very strongly. He let himself be pushed, waiting for my next move. His legs are spread and I take a seat on one of his thighs.

“- I don’t know what you want from me Saul, but I will take what I want. Is that okay?” i ask languorously.

He doesn’t talk, he just bops his head with an audacious smile, answering affirmatively to my question.

“- Good.” i chuckle.

I dispose my lips on his neck. Biting slightly making sure to leave all the spots my lips went to stay wet with my taste. I start kissing his face, all the spots I can, expect his lips, leaving him on edge, teasing him. As I do just that, I start rubbing my clothed cunt against his thigh. I feel him gasp, both for the frustration on his lips and in his pants. I leave a mark in his neck, right under his ear only for me to go above and nip alternatively on both his ears.

“- Mmmh… Fuck.” i curse in between moans.

I rub against his thigh ruthlessly, my thrusts are short but harsh and my pleasure grows more and more. My back arch and I end up using my hands to support myself on his shoulders. I throw my head back and I hear Slash groan. A frustrated groan, making me even more thrilled. Knowing that at this right moment I own him just for my only pleasure makes me even more horny. His thigh is so comfortable, imagining how his pretty cock must be almost brings me to my release.

It’s getting harder for me to hold on. I don’t want him to touch me, I want to keep him on his limit so I take it upon myself and rub as good as I can on his leg.

“- Saul! Fuck that’s good!” i cry.

I pant heavily and I feel my jeans getting soaked with my cum. My legs shake and squeeze around Saul’s leg and my cheeks are all blushed with my effort.

I won.

Slash looks like he is about to explode. Good for him. He looks mesmerized and embittered. That’s what you get for being a little bitch like that. A wild mess lost in his thought. What a magnificent view.

I kiss his lips very quickly and lightly before smiling while putting myself together. Even if this kiss was quick, I had never felt such soft comfortable lips.

“- See. That’s what you get for teasing me.” i playfully say, getting off him.

Saul stays still on the couch, his eyes on fire and I walk toward the door, happy to have pushed his limit, ready to resist his game.

Slash pov

What a fucking bitch. A beautiful mess, out of breath and still taking away mine. She is lighting herself a cigarette. Like she is gonna get away with this. I can’t hold on anymore, I have to make her mine. I have to have her all for me, I have to fuck her and make her come again but this time around my cock. I have to make her my girl.

Truth is, ever since she started working here she drives me crazy. She is one of those women that don’t give a shit. She has no mind about being perfect, she’s completely detached from reality, she does her things and she doesn’t take shit. She’s a weird chick some might say, but I absolutely adore creepy shits. Her wilderness and emotions are always so honest. I have held back for the past few months because she’s much younger than me. I’ve never felt as if I was worth dating a chick like her and I was sure she would say no. I’d rather tease her and at least have some kind of interactions with her than avoid her all the time.

Before she could open the door I push her against the wall. Her eyes look like a lost puppy. I take the cigarette out of her mouth and throw it in the ashtray on the table. She had all the time she needed to get away, but she stayed here. Back against the wall still high on her orgasm. Watching her pleasuring herself on my thigh was both a torture and delight. I wanted to touch her and make her come with my hands. She refused and left me on edge. The only thought in my head was among the lines of “What a bitch, I want her.” I come back to her and put one of my hands on her waist pushing her more against the wall and the other in her neck, my fingers playing with her jawline. I breathe close to her mouth for a few seconds, teasing her as she did. She seems to take frustration way harder than me because she looks pissed and starved, and this makes me even more out of my mind. I take her lips hungrily, I kiss her, starving for her tongue. Fuck, I shouldn’t be so crazy about her but here she is, moaning in my mouth begging for my tongue to play with hers. Such soft lips. So tender and matching mine perfectly.

“- You shouldn’t have done that y/n. I will not let you get away, so if you wanna go, go now.” i say to her, drunk on her scent.

She moans as I take the back of her thighs and wrap her legs around me. Still against the wall, I wait for her answer while kissing her collarbone.

“- Hmmm… do it.” she almost whispers.

“- Do what?” i tease.

“- For Christ’s sake! Do it! Fuck me fuckhead!” she laments.

“- Your desires are orders madam.” i answer her playfully, smiling in the crook of her neck.

I go back to her mouth, mixing my tongue with hers while I tease her thighs with my hands. I can feel her wet cunt on my lower stomach and her laments desperate to deal with this ache. To hell with it. She deserves it. I rip her thin shirt away to expose her tits to me. She will take my shirt. Fuck it. She doesn’t wear a bra and I can access her perfect tits immediately. I lick and bite them mercilessly, teasing her more and more. I can’t wait to enter her but I just want to hear her beg for me.

“- Saul… mmhm… stop.. mmh… fucking around… mmhm… and fuck me already!” she pants, out of breath.

“- I fucking love the way you curse all the time.” i tell her, biting the skin around her nipple.

I remove her pants and underwear. What a pretty sight. What a pretty cunt. I could make this my meal for the rest of my life. I’d never starve. I put her back against the wall. I want to show her how bad I’ve wanted her for the last months. I want to show her what I wanted to do to her every time she’d pass over me in a hallway. How hungry, how bad I have been craving her. I unbuckle my pants and let my dick free. Her eyes got bigger and she opened her mouth to the view of my hard cock. She looks at it like she got to have a taste of her favorite meal and it drives me crazy. I give her no time to comment before I push her head against the wall kissing her lips as I bury myself deep inside of her. She’s so fucking wet. Fucking hell. I know I’m stretching her out. I can feel it. I love it.

“- SAUL!” she gasps, gripping my back. “It’s so fucking big!”

“- Shh.. I know you can take it. Scream if you need to baby, I don’t give a shit if we hear us.” i answer, moving in and out of her.

I pound into her fast and hard, making her moan each time I shove myself deep into her. She’s so damn hot. She feels so good. That’s it. I’m taking her with me. Her face becomes a mess as she cannot seem to catch her breath correctly. Between kisses, her mouth stays wide open, sometimes, she bites her lips, letting out small whimpers. I love it rough and she’ll love it too. I can tell she already does.

“- Saul… aahh.. that’s fucking good aaahh don’t stop.” she screams.

See? Told you. I give her one last hard pound and lift her up grabbing the back of her thighs. I’m still inside her, my cock hitting her deep every step I take. Her little whines are a melody I am more than happy to work on. She tries her best to hold onto me and makes my hat fall as she moves her arms around my neck. Whatever man, I have been wearing this hat since ages, her, it’s the first time. As I throw her on the couch my dick slips out of her, leaving me without her. What kind of fucking witch is she? Seconds out of her and my cock already misses her cunt.

“- Turn around.” i command, removing my shirt.

She smiles defiantly and executes herself. I waste no time and shove my dick back into her as I push as deep as I can. I keep her head buried in the couch as I mercilessly pound into her. I hear her whimper in pleasure. My mouth next to her ear, laughing, biting it slightly.

“- This is what you fucking get when you’re being a bitch.” i whisper in her ear.

I continue my rough pounding leaving trails of kisses all along her back. I know I’m about to come, how can I not when I’m banging her? Trust me though, I’m far from being finished with her.

“- AAH SAUL! I’M COMING! PLEASE! COME IN ME! FUCKING DO!” i hear her scream, muffled on the couch.

Just what I fucking needed. Hell yeah I will my love.

Not long after I come into her pussy still pounding as I feel her legs shake and her cunt getting tighter. She fucking came all over my cock. Just like I said I wanted her to. I grab her by the hair and bring her to my chest. She turns her head to me. She’s a mess with her hair all over her face, sticking with her sweat. Out of breath and panting for air. So beautiful. So fucking beautiful, as usual. I give her a wet sloppy kiss, removing the hair out of her face.

“- Good girl.” i tease into her ear.

I put her back on my side and lift her up again to sit her on the table. I still need her. I’m hard again like a fucking horny teenager. She makes me into this sex depraved slave succubuses love so much. She can take my soul for the record, I don’t give a shit. She can be the devil, a witch or an alien. To me, she's first and for all the woman I want, the one I desire and I want to be with. Bitch, witch, baby. Something like that. And in her eyes, I’m probably just the fucking dumbass who dared touching her. That’s okay. I’m cool with it. If she always looks at me the way she does now, I’m cool with it.

Sucking on her tits, I shove myself into her again, immediately pounding her hard. Her legs shake uncontrollably so I lock them up around my waist. She lies down on the table playing with her tits, moaning and biting her lips.

“- Oh my god that’s so good. Aaahh… Continue.” she cries.

Putting my hand around her neck I bring her back to my chest. Her back arches frantically at every movement I do inside her. So that’s why she was lying down. I slow down and move little by little inside of her to see how she moves her ass and back around on the table.

“- FUCKING STOP THE TEASING ASSHOLE… AAAH” she whimpers.

She puts her arms behind my neck and lets her nails sink into my back. With her head buried in the crook of my neck I laugh and go back to my hard pace. Hearing her little cries makes me the happiest man on earth. I hold her with one hand on her back and the other in the back of her head. At this instant, it’s like she is all mine. Like she could break if I let her go.

“- There babygirl, take it all, like the good slut you are. I know you love it, don't hold back.” i kiss her forehead before leaving her head to fall back in my neck.

“- AAH FUCK YES THAT’S GOOD! I’M SO FF-UUL IT’S SO B-BIG!” she whimpers.

Her fucking voice drives me crazy. She bites and teases my neck violently as a way to show me she is still holding on. I’m sure my back is all scratched and marked by now, but i’ll let her take everything off of me if it means I can get to fuck her brains out like right now. I groan, knowing I'm almost there, when I feel her legs squeeze around my waist and her back arch I know she’s also about to come again. I embrace her tightly as I screw her as fast and deep as I can.

“- AH…MHH… HAA… HM… SAUL… YES! YES! YES!” she comes screaming my name.

I come in her again. She stays like that for a few minutes. Panting, all naked into my arms. I hear her broken voice laugh slightly.

“- So that was it… all this teasing.” she laughs again.

“- You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck your brains out, teasing me back like that was not a good idea.” i answer.

“- Oh it definitely was a good idea. And I’ll do it again.”

“- No need to. I’m not letting you go. You’re mine now.”

She moves around to be able to look at me in the eyes. Her arms still wrapped around my neck and her cheeks still all flustered.

“- I am?” she smirks.

This smirk could make me fuck her again right now. Yes she is. I have been tortured by her presence for the past few months, now that she’s here I'm not letting her go. I move around to get a cloth to clean her up with. When I go back to her I catch her shy smile as she turns her head on the side.

“- Okay.” she almost whispers, smiling slightly.

I can’t resist taking her chin to turn her head to me to kiss her deeply. There was a chance it was a pure unique act of lust for her. A chance she’d left and say “never again”. A chance I’d taste her pussy only once with my cock, trying to forget how much I want to eat her out. A chance she’d realize I was older than her and she’d get away from me. Looking at the clock on the wall I realize it’s time for the show. What a great fucking day. Fucking the chick I’ve been thinking off non stop since months, playing on stage and then get back to fucking her. The two things I love the most. After the show, I’ll steal her away and get her back with me. What the fuck is the manager gonna tell me anyway? They don’t need her as much as I do.

“- Show’s gonna start baby. Let’s get the job done.” i wink, my hands resting on her waist.

I take my shirt and put it on her. God she looks so hot in my shirt. She should only wear that. She gives me a doubtful stare.

“- It’s okay, I’m hot anyway.” i smile.

Her gaze is playful as she goes down on her knees. She licks her lips and grabs my penis in her hand. She kisses slowly the tip of my cock. I take a deep breath and her smile goes feeble.

“- See you later big boy.” she brightens up again.

Bitch.

There she puts it back in my pants to only leave me my belt to put back on. Bitch. She’s lucky I can hide my bulge behind my guitar, she’s lucky we don’t have time. On the floor, I see her grab her thong that she slides into my pocket.

“- Eye for an eye.” she teases.

This isn’t fair. I give her my shirt, she gives me a piece of art. Putting her pants back on, I light her cigarette again and put it in her mouth.

“- Always finish what you started.” i say, getting her hair out of her face.

“- Whatever.” she rolls her eyes. “Go do your job.” she stops. “Play as good as you always do.” she smiles, cupping my face in her hands.

“- Coldness with a tinge of consideration, exactly what I love.” i kiss her neck, before letting her slip away to get out.

I hear her laugh evaporate as she disappears in the hallway. I know she’s playing around, she stays composed like her legs weren’t still shaking seconds from now. How fucking cool she is.

The show went great. When I get back backstage I see her there, cheering the end of this awesome show. She put on a leather jacket. After the show, we generally answer interviews and talk with some fans to end up having a little party all together. Not as wild as in my 20s, but still not very well-behaved. Tonight, I don’t give a shit, I have other businesses to attend. I greet the guys and let them know I’m going.

“- Where you going man, something to do?” Duff asks me.

I arrive in front of y/n and lift her up over my shoulder. She gasps and laughs.

“- Yeah man, something urgent! Might take me a long time, might kill me. Just in case, y’all can start looking for a new lead!”

“- Dumbass.” i hear her answer, which makes me laugh.

I fucking love her bitchy tone.

I admit. She won.

y/n pov

Here I am, being carried around like a sack of potatoes by the man I thought I could never have. I had the best sex of my life and something tells me I’m about to get it again. If I knew, I would have teased him back a long time ago. He said I was his.

In truth, he’s mine.

iii];)’ .・• ✰ ⋆

“Face of an angel with the love of a witch”.

A/N : i wrote that when i was horny as hell, clearly came from my delusions, i love the idea of slash having this feral internal dialogue because he just wants you so bad! enjoy loves <33 (slash if you read this i’m ready for your love ;))

#slash fanfiction #slash gnr #slash fic #slash smut #slash #slash x reader #slash x you #gnr smut #gnr x reader #gnr fanfiction #gnr fic #slash imagine #guns n roses #guns n roses smut #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses fanfiction #velvet revolver #saul hudson

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intimidating-fettuccine · 4 months

Text

Family Dinner. Yan! Slender x Reader. CW; Controlling relationship, Slender is a dick, small allusions to physical harm, normal yandere behaviors and content.

You can’t breathe.

When he stares at you like that, irritation swirling around him, the anger seeping out of him in physical waves, you can’t breathe. He doesn’t even have to touch you to choke you, so suffocate you, and tears are brimming out of your eyes against your own will. Pretending to be strong won’t work on him, as much as you want to try sometimes.

“What are you wearing?” His words are filled with venom, and it takes every fiber of being to hold back the cry that wants to escape from you.

“I- I- I just wanted-“ You try to answer him, but he cuts you off quickly.

“I didn’t ask what you wanted. I prepared this expensive, tailored outfit just for you to wear tonight to finally meet my family because they won’t stop pestering me about it, and you do this? You wear something so— ragged?” He gestures to the clothes you’re wearing, clothes you’ve had for a very long time, clothes you normally feel comfortable and safe in, however, not anymore.

“I just… That outfit is so tight. It’s uncomfortable. I wanted to be comfortable when meeting them.” It takes you a long time to force the words out, and your voice is barely a whisper. He steps forward, towering over you, and he forces you to look up at him, gripping your cheeks painfully as he yanks your face upward.

“I did not ask you what you wanted. I picked this outfit myself, for you to wear, to make a good impression. I give you this house, I give you these clothes, I give you any fucking thing you ask for, and all I ask in return is that you obey me and at the very least pretend to love me. I don’t think I’m asking for too much, so why don’t you stop acting like a brat, and do as you’re told for once?” His words cut deep, and it takes you every remaining ounce of remaining control to not fight back because you know it will only make things worse.

You do follow his orders, you do everything he asks of you, and you never fucking complain about any of it. You have never outwardly complained about any of this goddamn bullshit since the moment the devil before you decided to steal your soul. You hold the right to bitch about him in your mind, and he cannot take that away from you. If he chooses to listen to those thoughts it’s his own damn problem as far as you’re concerned. You take a deep breath, clench and release your fists a few times, and you stare right back at him.

“You told me, when you first brought me here, I hold the right to negotiation.” You stare him, dead in the face, and he clenches his jaw, but he does not make a rebuttal. “This dinner is far more important to you. Your family is unaware of the way you treat me, and I know better than anyone that you want it to stay that way. If you want me to be a polite, well-behaved Darling, you will allow me to dress comfortably. It does not have to be this outfit, but I will not be choked and corseted by the outfit you have chosen. You may choose a selection of other outfits, but I get to pick one, and I will behave the rest of the night. I will put on whatever act I need to for them to believe I am happy here, but I will be comfortable while doing so.”

You nearly choke at the end of your words, trying to resist shaking as he stares you down. He could agree, or he could do any number of other things. He could slap you, lock you in your room again and forbid you from leaving, he could scream at you until your ears are ringing and your head is throbbing if he wanted to. After all, what you’ve just done is a direct act of defiance. But he doesn’t.

“…Fine.” His response is said spitefully, and if he had eyes one of them would probably be twitching.

He releases you with a flick of his wrist, your head flipping to the side, but he chooses much more reasonable outfits for you to wear, and you easily select one. He leaves you to get dressed in peace, and you do so quickly. You were lucky tonight. There have been previous nights where he’d rip your clothes off of you, sparing you no dignity, and force you into whatever outfit he wanted you to wear. Tonight, however, most likely spurred on by his need to appear normal to his family, he allowed you to win. Your win will be temporary overall, but it makes your chest fill with a small amount of pride. When you open the door to your room, he’s standing outside waiting for you, arms crossed, looming irritably.

“We leave in five minutes. Get your shoes on and be by the front door in less than that.” He goes to turn to leave, but instead bends down and puts his face beside your ear.

“Do not get used to defying me, Darling,” his tone could make you sick with how saccharinely venomous it is, “for it will not always turn out the way you want it to. Behave like this again on the next night you must meet someone important, and you will meet your consequences.” You feel as though he could have stabbed you from the way his words sink into you, but before you can respond he’s gone, evaporated into thin air as he teleported away from you.

The pride previously filling up your chest is now gone, and you wish you could just melt into a puddle on the floor instead of attending this family dinner. Any thoughts of asking for help don’t even appear in your mind, because after all… No matter the consequences, he would probably kill you, or his family, on the spot.

You feel like the more likely option is his family. He promised you, beyond everything, that you’d never get away from him, even in death.

#yandere #creepypasta yandere #yandere slenderman #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta scenario #creepypasta scenarios #creepypasta x reader #slenderman scenario #slenderman #slenderman headcanons #slenderman headcanon #slenderman x reader

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kairiscorner · 11 months

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my ambiverted ahh couldn't help myself huhu, so imagine:

the atsv babes with an ambiverted partner

miles probably would have thought you were introverted ngl, you two would have gotten close for your shared love of art, whether you create it or just admire it. he'd've thought you would appreciate it if he did the first move for you because you came off as a little reserved to him, but nah, when he got to know you more, he learned you had a more outgoing and sociable side to you--he was the extra push you needed to get out there. though occasionally, you would like some time alone; miles wholly respects that. he wouldn't force you to talk if you didn't want to, he loves talking to you and hearing you speak, even if you would sometimes prefer to be on your own or with others. i think miles' favorite thing to do with you would be to just draw together, or teach you how to draw if you didn't know how. he loves it when you're so focused on something, when you're in your element; you look so at peace, so happy with what you're doing that he wants to capture that moment forever, keep you happy forever.

"if you need to talk to me or ramble or for me to leave you be for alil while, i gotchu ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )"

"ty, i love you : ) also did you know (goes on rambling for hours on end while miles smiles at every message you send his way thinking how cute you are)"

gwen would've met you when you seemed extroverted. you'd probably have met when the mary janes had a gig near your area, and you in your extroverted bout somehow had the courage to tell her how awesome she was on the drums. you'd go on and on about how much she carried the performance, and you joked how you wished you could be everywhere all at once so you could watch her play. it warmed her heart, really. when she told you she doesn't do friends anymore, which was a lot for her to say honestly, poor girl, you'd've smiled at her and told her you'd wait for the day she's ready to make new friends, hoping you'll be one of her very first new friends you and miles would get along for that fr. now i don't think gwen would do very well with small talk, so you being an ambivert and knowing how that feels, you adjust to what she's comfortable with and talk to her about things she likes, too. she loves when you guys are just hanging out together, not really talking or doing anything, just being next to each other or in the same room, enjoying being in each other's presence; because, if anything, gwen loves the quiet when you're around--it gives her a break from all the chaos in her life and makes her remember there are people who care about her just as much as she cares about them.

"i know you said you don't do friends anymore... but i'm really glad you never hesitated to be mine the moment you were feeling like things can get better from here."

"that's because of you, my... ray of sunshine. was that too cheesy? sorry, i just, you really brighten up my life."

now pav would bare with both sides of you, honestly. he's bright, bubbly, and extroverted; but he knows when to back off and let you breathe for a bit. he'd encourage you to talk to others when you're feeling anxious, but he wouldn't force you to, of course. he'd do things for you when you feel like wanting to be on your own for a bit because he doesn't want to bother you. you'd've been his classmate at school, and at first, you found him... kinda quirky, but he was super cute, you couldn't deny it. you felt like he outshined you sometimes, so you kinda hid in your shell for the first few days of knowing him. but when pav noticed how quiet you were, he'd tell you not to be scared of him or anything, and you weren't! you were honestly just feeling a little worn out from talking to people for a bit, he did that mainly for you, and he always did it with your best interests in mind. but when it's just you two together, boy, you were both chaotic and bright. your extroverted side was kind of only really known to him, and he felt so freaking lucky to be that sole person who knew that other side of you. but he'd encourage you to get out there, too, and he'd help you every step of the way if you wanted him to.

"if you want to make new friends, go for it! i've already seen how amazing you are when it's just us two, everybody would love you as you are now and with that chaotic side of you."

"alright, just don't outshine me, pretty boy, i'm playing the chaotic one today."

hobie would actually be really fond of you, he likes having an explosive firecracker yet calm and unshakeable partner all at once. he doesn't believe in consistency, and if you didn't really have a consistent side to you wanting to talk to people or wanting to be on your own for a bit, hobie would be more intrigued with you. he loves that you have a heart for nearly everything, being with people, being alone--wanting to make friends, wanting to focus on yourself. he loves how thoughtful you can be, as well. you two would've probably met when hobie would be doing his rounds as spider man, and he caught you defacing a wall. he'd check it out, and instead of reprimanding you, he'd've complimented your work since it commented well on your stance on how society was so... chaotic. he liked you a whole lot after that, and his initial impression of you was someone who was kind of a lone wolf, someone who spoke up for their freedom without relying on other people--but lo and behold, you were someone who spoke up for their freedom, but loved making friends and going to parties, too, sometimes. he loved how nuanced you were, how every day, he finds something new about you. he really wants to make you feel comfortable around him, so every time, he asks if you're okay with whatever you two would plan to do, because he understands what it's like to be misunderstood. he just wants you to be free to be happy and to express yourself, never uncomfortable about being who you are, especially when you were with him.

"you're so inconsistent, so chaotic, so thoughtful, you're... you're a keeper."

"are you gonna be consistent and want to love just me, hobart? that's sweet of you, love."

#atsv spiderman #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #atsv x reader #miles morales #atsv gwen #gwen stacy #hobie brown #hobie brown my beloved #atsv hobie #atsv pavitr #pavitr x you #pavitr prabhakar #gwen stacy x y/n #miles morales x y/n #hobie brown x you

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 5 months

Text

Did someone say Kanej coded songs by indie artists who deserve more attention? Probably not but I’m gonna give you some anyway

I’m going to limit myself to putting one or two lyrics with each song but just know that I’m picking and choosing from loads of good options they aren’t the only lyrics that work 😁

Pray by The Amazing Devil - “God made all man in his image but honey I’m no man I’m what’s left when children go to war” “Why womanhood is more than crying I’m stronger now than you have ever known, the cracks you made I’ll fill with mortar a broken pot can still hold water”

Metaphor by The Crane Wives - “I’ve gotten good at leaning on metaphors, I’ve gotten good at living on someone else’s page, I cut my teeth on second hand sentiments, you can’t trust a single thing I say” “I keep my closet free of skeletons, ‘cause I’m much better at digging graves, but I always dig up bones in your sympathy, I can’t trust a single thing you say” (I actually have an edit to this that I haven’t posted yet so I guess let me know if anyone wants to see that)

Three Spectres by J Maya this song is the reason I started making edits - “I wonder how people can talk about the past and go to bed, the space around me feels with spectres of what I should have said. The past is a presence, the future is pretend, and the present is a pastor trying to make it all make sense. Will I ever leave this place? This world that I am trying to break? The mind is such a funny space, with these spectres centre stage”

Falling by Florence + the Machine I guess this is kinda borderline indie but I’m counting it and this is an underrated song - “I’ve fallen from favour and I’ve fallen from grace, fallen out of trees and I’ve fallen on my face, fallen out taxis, out of windows too, fell in your opinion when I fell in love with you” “sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release, wish for falling through the air to give me some relief because falling’s not the problem when I’m falling I’m at peace, it’s only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief” the edits could’ve gone wild for this one if we had the tightrope scenes with Amita/Inej I’m so heartbroken

We Have It All by Pim Stones I have an edit to this one posted if anyone wants to see it - “the print was so small I didn’t understand, he cut out thumbs and placed a feather in our hands, told us we would see all our dreams and plans unfold” “all my life I’ve been heading for hell but never had I thought I’d drag you down as well, I just couldn’t resist what he was trying to sell” “our hearts we have sold for diamonds and gold but hey baby take a look, we have it all, and haven’t you heard? Hearts turn to dirt, along with the rest of your body it’s all claimed by the earth. It will fade and it will wither, but gold it will never, and hey baby, don’t you know? Diamonds are forever”

Run by Daughter - “if I try to get close, he’s already gone, don’t know where he’s going don’t know where he’s been but he is restless at night ‘cause he has horrible dreams” “and I won’t tell my mother, it’s better she don’t know, and he won’t tell his folks ‘cause they’re already ghosts. And we’ll just keep each other, as safe as we can, until we reach the border, until we make our plan to run” “Will you stay with me my love, for another day? ‘Cause I don’t want to be alone when I’m on this state. Will you stay with me my love, til we’re old and grey? ‘Cause I don’t want to be alone when these bones decay”

I might add more as they occur to me but I think this is the list for now, feel free to suggest more!!! ❤️

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floufli · 1 year

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Admit It

Chapter 1 : Discoveries (3.7K)

Summary:

Before the whole "multiverse collapsing" thing, everything was going pretty smoothly for you. As Spider-woman, you saved people, beat up villains and lived an calm and uneventful civilian life. But everything seemed to have changed the moment one boy was bitten by some radioactive spider. Now, the villains you faced have become more active, and always seemed to disappear before you could deliver them to the police. One day, you manage to finally catch the trail of the ones that kept stealing your catches, only to be left to discover another facet of your life waiting for you.

Will this end well for you? You could only hope so. But you are perfectly okay with risking it all, after all, that "Miguel" got one hell of an ass to make up for it.

Tags:

Miguel o'hara x fem!reader, violence, mature language and reference, Reader has the same arms thingies as Miguel, WILL BECOME MINOR NON FRIENDLY QUICK SO HOP HOP GET OUT OF HERE, future tags

MasterList

Chapter: 2

Author notes:

I deleted the post by mistake and almost shot myself. Otherwise hope you'll like it, I'm not a fanfic poster so I don't know my writing skills. ANywAyS. Enjoy.

Don't copy to another site or I'm gonna be big mad >:C and don't feed to AI obviously

A sight escaped your lips as you gazed upon the lively city before your eyes. With your hands grasping firmly onto the tissue of your mask, you let your eyes wander across the breathtaking buildings in front of you.

Fond of architecture wasn't the best term to describe yourself, as the sight of grey concrete and skyscrapers often became boring for someone like you, who spent all day and night in between the small gaps of each building. But it was where you spent most of your life, so you were sometimes forced to admire its beauty, even when said beauty had become the daily norm.

Positioned on top of some fancy building surely made for yet another big cooperative profit, you gaze at the horizon as the sun set, ending yet another long and tiring day. You closed your sensitive eyes as you appreciated the last few rays of sunlight that reached your face, your hair flowing freely behind you, now free of the mask's restraints.

If one would have told you you would become some spider-woman that fought for justice at your city scale, jumping from building to building by shooting webs to swing on... Yeah, you would have surely told them to go see a therapist. And yet there you were, a bit sore after today's load of work fighting some local thugs and one freak that tried to blow up a boutique. You were quite lucky if you were being honest. Only leaving the scenes with some minor bruises and a few cuts here and there on your body, could have been worse.

You really needed to get yourself a better suit, you thought. As this one had grow to become a bit too thin and easy the slit open for your taste.

The air had a slight chill today, announcing the forthcoming winter and with it the decrease in crime rate. After all, even criminals didn't like to spend the day out while it snowed like there would be no tomorrow, leaving the entire city covered in a pure white blanket, seemingly erasing the blood embedded in its pavement, only to be left with a much appreciated calm after yet another eventful year.

The image in your head was barely months away, and still, you couldn't wait for your much-needed vacation. Beating up some serious threats to the people had always left a satisfying aftertaste in your mouth, but even you needed a break from time to time to catch your breath.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the tight grasp you had on your mask, leaving your hand marked by your fingernails. Exhaling heavily, you put the piece of fabric back on your face, the arachnid-like design concealing your identity from the population.

You stood up from your previous crouching position on the edge of the skyscraper, mind at peace just as you went to jump off the edge.

Your foot dangled into the void below as if touching the shining light of cars and street lamps down below. Finally shifting your weight fully, you felt the familiar falling euphoria take over your enhanced senses. The sudden drop disoriented you for just a nanosecond as your body plunged down rapidly. Air blowing in your ears, you allowed the fall to last as much as your survival instinct let you.

It was relieving, the soreness of your body seemingly forgotten as you went down straight for the ground, letting you feel as if you were flying peacefully, and not at all risking being spread out on the concrete floor.

Ending the moment against your best wishes, you cast one of your webs onto the height of a building facing you, leaving your break behind you and swinging forward onto who knows what, maybe a villain or two- or even some nitroglycerine maniac.

You were the only one capable of protecting New York after all. Who could do this job except the one and only spider-woman?

"Miguel calm down. It's not that big of a deal you know?" Lyla's voice tried to soothe the agitated man. But to no avail.

The tall man was perambulating across the room, his steps echoing heavily into the gigantic hall.

"I can't, I can't that's it! This is definitely it! I'm going to lose it. Lo fucking juro." His tensed body roamed in a desperate attempt to calm himself down. Fingers pinching his nose, he tried to prevent the headache that was surely coming his way.

His failure at doing so was quite obvious, to say the least. Heavy breathing left his imposing form as he glared at his AI assistant.

"Not that big of a deal?! Do you have any ideas of what could have happened if at the time this maniac had managed to achieve opening a portal between universes? That would have-"

"Put the whole multiverse at risk of being destroyed blah blah blah .." Lyla interjected, gaining another furious red glare from her boss.

"This isn't funny Lyla for fuck's sake. I'm trying to save lives here." He stated in defeat. "The whole ordeal could have been easily avoided if he just didn't get bit by the spider. You know just as well as I do how much two Spidermen can't be at the same time. Their dimension would be a bomb waiting for the slightest disturbance to be completely annihilated."

"How did you want him to know to "just don't get bitten by the spider " Huh? It obviously crawled its way to him without him noticing, you know JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SPIDERMEN IN THE MULTIVERSE EXCEPT YOU??? "

The small image of the woman flickered for a few seconds with annoyance, teleporting from her current place to right in in his face. She went from standing calmly to looking down at the huge man below her, hand grabbing her hips firmly to reinforce her statement.

"..."

If looks could kill she would surely be concerned for her life, lucky she was to be immaterial.

Stop worrying so much we're in the clear now. She thought angrily.

Closing her eyes as she let out a heavy sigh, her shoulder falling down, she tried to reassure her boss once again.

"Listen Miguel, we're all good now the multiverse is safe, and everyone is back in their own dimensions. No need to mull over it for hours now~~" She cheered, flickering to more dynamic poses to cheer her boss up. "Besides, if you keep ruminating all day you'll worsen your eye bags." She said as she mimicked a circular motion below her own.

"It's not because we avoided the destruction of all the worlds once that we should just stand by and wait for it to go south again!!! What if another just tried to-"

He was cut off once more as the hall suddenly shone in bright red light, blinding his oversensitive eyes, and leaving him squinting and hissing at the unwelcome light. Arms shooting straight up to protect his vision, he ordered Lyla to find the problem. Fast.

"Well, THAT'S SOMETHING I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT MIGUEL!?" The AI assistant yelled, her form teleporting across the whole control panel, in a matter of seconds she went through all the data that had suddenly come up in the system. While Miguel's face was now covered with his mask, whilst the radiant light still shone brightly in rapid blinks.

Using his webs, he swung to where his assistant had abruptly frozen, her floating 2D body facing one of the central control panels of this unit. With careful steps he closed the distance between them, coming forward to see what the screen had displayed. At first, he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, the usual universe's data such as each local Spiderman, recent major events, etc...

He froze when he saw the pop-up that took most of the central panel, his heart almost stopping as he reread, again and again, the words on the screen. What did it mean? They never had something like this happen before. Surely the little interdimensional perturbations caused by the ones on earth 1610B had created a bigger mess than they could have ever anticipated.

! ANOMALY DETECTED !

Those were the words blinking brightly on the display, along with the regular sound of an alarm claiming all of their attention.

"¿Qué demonios...?" Miguel murmured, more to himself than to Lyla. Both their eyes wide open as they gaze upon the unfamiliar words, unsure of what to do now. What the hell was an anomaly? And what were they supposed to do now?

Feeling eyes on himself, he turned his head to face Lyla's, only to be met with the same uncertainty he could feel was slipping out of his covered eyes. It wasn't often that he would be left speechless and unable to make a decision, but this time he was at a complete loss. Unable to do much more than gape at the screen along with his assistant, a dreadful feeling sent a chill throughout his entire body, causing his whole form to tense significantly.

He didn't know what exactly he was supposed to do, but despite his lack of spider sense, he could trust his instinct; and whatever was waiting for them later on, it wasn't pretty.

A bit less than a year later

- BEFORE ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE MAJOR EVENTS TIMELINE -

"Vulture, it's about time for you to think about retirement, Jezz." You declared while avoiding another of his rapid attacks just before he launched himself back up into the sky, out of your reach- or at least that's what he thought.

His laugh echoed into the now-empty streets of New York, the panicked crowd having left in a hurry the moment both of you started fighting for real.

You were positioned right below him at the moment, feet embedded into the ground, ready to propel yourself to him if the right occasion appeared. Times like these had come to be an usual occurrence in the last few months, which was kind of weird if someone asked you. It was as if every villain in the city and its surrounding had suddenly decided to come out to cause havoc.

And you were beginning to grow tired of the incessant attacks that occurred almost every day by now. Local problems like thieves or terrorists were easy to deal with but these kinds of villains needed much more of your time and energy than any other. Your arms and legs were starting to let you know of their limits too, if this was to continue for longer you weren't sure you could keep up.

And why do they always looks so different each time?

Exhaling a last time before jumping straight towards your enemy, you let your arms' spikes fully out, ready to strike down. Webbing the building just behind his flying form, you were able to come to him a mere seconds, surprising him as well as wiping the smile off his face.

"SHIT- WAIT-"

But his words only met deaf ears. Your arms aiming directly for his face, you had learned long ago that spearing your enemies only brought out more bad than good. So now when you fought, whoever might be your opposants, you were determined to use all of your spider strength, even if killing was the only solution. You would not be risking the lives of thousands of civilians just because of the ambitions of one individual. And you weren't naïve, if they could, they would kill you in the blink of an eye.

The impact was immediate and ruthless, leaving no room for escape after the strike. With your enhanced senses, you could easily pick up the sound of bones cracking below your knuckles, the sound lasting only an instant before Vulture's entire frame was launched into one of the decommissioned building a bit farther from the main city.

You may have gone a bit overboard with that one.

Not wasting a second to avoid him escaping you again, you swung your way toward the point of impact. An immense gaping hole was now, where before stood some form of architecture. It was positioned not more than twenty meters above the ground, so you knew that if he wasn't on the floor of the impact, he was surely still in the building.

I would have seen it if he just jumped out of it.

Landing gracefully upon the now bare floor, you searched for your prey, using all of your faculties to make sure you weren't missing anything. But you heard nothing, saw nothing either, only smelled the faint smell of him intertwined with other unfamiliar ones. Ones that were too fresh to only be coincidental.

"What the hell is happening again?" You said in consternation, it wasn't the first time that this happened to you. In fact, since the moment the attacks multiplied, you had almost always lost track of your attackers. You weren't perfect, you knew that, losing track once or twice every now and then would be normal knowing the nature of your job. But now it was redundant, except for a few times, you always came back empty-handed. Leaving the police just as confused as you were, even if you tried to explain to them what happened again and again. Some even began to question you competences.

This time was exactly the same as the others, you lose their sight for less than a minute and when you arrive they're already gone to who-knows-where.

That was really beginning to put your nerves to the test.

Angry, you tried to cool off by shooting one of the cans left there by its last inhabitant, causing it to hit one of the last standing pieces of furniture still standing- at least it was standing, until it abruptly collapsed on itself because of the harsh force of the hit, provoking a loud chaos in its fall. Most of what it contained was now spilled on the floor in a glorious mess.

"Oops"

You winced at the involuntary action, apologizing to whoever might come across this in the future.

"What the hell what that?!"

You froze in your tracks immediately, adopting a fighting stance on pure instinct. This was a girl's voice, you were certain of it, but what would a girl be doing here? Next to a fighting scene?

"I don't know and we don't have the time to investigate, we need to get this one back in his dimensions as fast as possible or Miguel will beat our asses." Another voice, a bit deeper answered. A woman this time, you thought, preparing yourself for a fight.

Were they the ones that continuously stole your catches for months now? Dimensions? Was that it? The final explanation for all this overload in your job? You didn't think of that one. Even if you really thought of it, you were almost happy with yourself to not have thought of this silly idea.

Well silly, it seems like- Anyway. Focus.

"Still I feel sorry for the Spider-woman that lives here, should we not let her know about it now? I mean, she is constantly fighting them and we just come to gather the pieces while she does all the work. Seems a bit unfair to me." The young girl responded.

By now you had silently come to rest on one of the walls facing the hole in the building, just next to what was once a door, but now deprived of anything door-like except for the gap in the wall. Putting your head on its surface, you were able to pick up the sound of their shoes along the floor, each of their movement, as well as the sound of struggling. As if they had contained somebody.

From the sounds, you could guess that there was a pretty long hallway that should be a least thirtyish meters from the echo of the voices alone.

So they really are the ones that kept taking them to wherever they came from.

"It's not something up to you or I do decide, Girl." The woman said, and just as she finished, you heard some weird beeping sound as well as a sudden detonation.

Oh heelll no. I'm not letting you go before you answer some questions.

Jumping to your feet, you bypassed the wall separating you from the two strangers, only to be met by a huge ball of light that almost blinded you before you could close your eyes.

Fucking sensitive eyes.

Regaining your senses fast, you quickly approached the two (well technically three but you chose to ignore him) before they escaped to wherever this portal thing would be taking them. Thanks to the detonation, you were able to walk to them without being noticed by either of them.

"Hey there, mind explaining what you doing here?" You stated, not more than five or so meters away from them, hands on your hips while you eyed them from head to toe. They were two, that you got right. And the weirdest thing of all was that they looked so much like you, smelt like you even. The youngest was dressed in a white and black outfit that looked like yours, while the other was a visibly pregnant woman with a red and black colored suit, the only difference being her glasses being her glasses whereas you and the girl both wore masks.

You could effortlessly see the panic in the youngest demeanor as she repeatedly looked from you to her 'friend', said friend on the other side looked kind of fed up. Her hand went to a sort of watch that she had on her wrist, the gadget looking way too advanced to only be a simple watch to your tastes.

"Miguel, we have something unexpected on our end what do we do?" She said as she locked her eyes with your covered ones.

"I'm kind of busy at the moment what is it ?" A masculine voice answered from the device. The deep tone causing a wave of chill to run through you, leaving you confused.

Damn, what was that?

Am I really that desperate to get laid seriously?

You reprimanded yourself, for real, since when did you let yourself be horny when you were working. You would have to find a way to get laid when you finished your day.

"The local Spider-woman has spotted us..." She said while looking at you unimpressed.

"Then just get out of there quick, what do you want me to do?" The man said before letting out a heavy sigh, the sound reviving a strange fire inside you, before some other noise, moving furniture you guessed, took over the communicator.

Stop that.

"That's the problem, Miguel, she is quite literally right in front of us and looking quite unpleased with the situation."

"..."

For whatever reason they didn't seem to enjoy the fact that you had seen the whole ordeal. The silence stretched agonizingly long before what you guessed to be their boss spoke again.

"I won't be back to the HQ before a few hours." A pause, as if to think carefully of his next words. "This dimension is where we detected the unusual number of anomalies isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. The bright side is that we have the one from today thank to her once more."

She smile at you warmly, trying to let you know that neither of them was a threat to you or your world. It worked in a sense, but you already knew that there was no need for you to be on your guard too much around them. Your instincts were telling you that these two at least were safe to be around. For the mysterious man on the other hand you didn't know, the weird reactions of your body unusual even to you.

" *Sight* Qué desastre..." He murmured in what you recognized to be Spanish. " Bring her into the HQ, if she managed to control all of them she could be a good ally on our side if she is fit for the job."

" I'll let Lyla know and make another goober. Try to not fuck it up this time."

And just like the conversation ended.

"What a jerk." You thought out loud, surprising both of the women facing you and causing the oldest to laugh lightly.

"You get used to it after a while, that's just how he is."

You crocked an eyebrow at the comment, that didn't mean he was allowed to be a impolite jerk but anyway. Bringing your attention back to the young girl that was now lifting the tied-up body of the Vulture, you felt kind of lost. What was that all about? Anomalies? Local Spider-Woman? They were other like you? Where the two Spider-Women too from other dimensions? The more you learned about the strangers, the more you were confused and left with more questions, as you didn't want to make false assumptions.

Sensing your hesitation, the woman approached you carefully before putting a hand on your shoulder.

"I know it's a bit much to absorb at the moment but you'll understand when we will get to the HQ. Only if you want to go I mean. You're not obligated to follow us, even if Miguel authorized you to." She said before whispering something to herself that you almost missed, but thanks to your amazing hearing didn't. Something along the line of 'he isn't so compliant per usual.'

Looking behind her as both the girl and the Vulture disappeared into the bright portal, you made your decision.

"I mean, what should I do? Just stay behind and miss all the fun? Nah. You got me curious now so you better have a good justification for all the jackasses that got my ass sore for the last few months."

You didn't mean for it to sound like that.

But it was too late anyway, and surely she understood what you meant. And by the smile playing on her face, she did.

"Yeah, don't worry we got everything prepared for that."

Retracting her arms from your shoulder, she turned around to face the portal. As she took a few steps you followed, still a bit apprehensive of the unknown device. When she disappeared like the other two moments before, you exhaled heavily, steadying your breathing.

"Oh, Fuck it."

And just like that you launched yourself straight into the entrance, silently praying that this thing didn't mind rapid moving objects moving through it or else you would be quite fucked.

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jinkookspencil · 8 months

Text

the quest | ksj

your boyfriend's friends are a great help on your quest for a new hobby, leaving him feeling... irked?

description/tags: kim seokjin / established relationship / angst + a little fluff (the angst slowly builds until it's basically hurt/comfort) / feat. the rest of bts / jealous boyfriend jin / pov switches from yn to jin / no trigger warnings i'd say pg-13 / request from this anon! i hope you like it, sorry it's taken me so long, i wasn't feeling the best. i don't know if that feeling had an impact on the fic - i felt such an urge to rewrite the whole thing and start from scratch because i read it over so many times! that'll just take much longer so.. i might rewrite this sometime in the future or upload a shorter version since it ended up being my longest work ever???

wc: ~8k words

Statistics and relationship coaches claim that every introvert needs an extroverted partner. The extrovert to ‘bring the introvert out of their shell and live a little’ and the introvert to show the extrovert the value of rest and healing in solitude.

But no one who believed any of that crap had met you and Seokjin. You and Jin fit together like the pieces of the puzzles you two loved to solve together on the weekends.

The two of you were too alike: introverted souls with charming social skills and a small group of friends who ultimately loved staying at home and indulging in your stress-relieving hobbies in much-needed peace and quiet. Or so it seemed.

Early on in your relationship, Jin had boasted about his gaming skills to no end, so his irregular, prolonged gaming sessions came as no surprise to you, but considering this, what had been so surprising was the number of friends and hobbies he actually had.

Sure, you had your fair share of the same as well, but Jin did so much more than he ever let on: snowboarding, tennis, fishing, golf, and cooking, to name a few, and he carried them out with friends of all ages, from grandfathers in their sixties who he loved cooking with, to careermen in their thirties he played golf with on the weekends. When he finally invited you to see him in action, you quickly found out that it was as attractive and inspiring as it was surprising…

“All this because I sweat when I play tennis?” he said when his breathing finally returned to normal following his high, still lying naked on the living room couch after he invited you to watch him play.

“Yes… just like you’re sweating now,” you murmured, sitting up from your position between his legs and admiring Jin’s glistening, flushed skin as you grazed his chest and traced the muscles he loved to hide. “I don’t think I ever got the whole ‘jock’ thing being attractive, but it was hot… seeing you all sporty. I wish I could be like that... I want to be. I need more hobbies.”

“What do you mean?” Jin says, sitting up. “You love to read. Everywhere I turn, I see books - if there hadn't been a bed in your old apartment, I’d have thought it was a library, and now my - our - apartment is beginning to look like one.”

“I’m in the worst reading slump of my entire life. I need to do something different. More hobbies. More friends. The girls are great, but… seeing you, I feel as though I want… more. I want to be a better version of myself - and for myself. Don’t they say that happens to you when you find the right person?”

Jin’s lips meet yours once more, briefly, before he pulls away and opens his mouth to whisper. “I understand striving for ‘better’ or ‘more’ baby, but I hope you know that you’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.”

The simple yet significant words, coupled with Jin cupping your face and brushing your hair to the side, were just what you need at that moment to put your mind at ease, and you easily fall asleep in Jin’s arms.

The quest for a hobby was supposed to be simple. Try, and try, and try until you saw what would ‘stick.’

It was clear early on that your boyfriend’s hobbies would never be yours.

Jin begrudgingly demoted you to ‘his sous-chef-for-life’ when you nearly burned the house down three times in your attempts to surprise him with dinner.

His own gaming etiquette got in the way of you ever enjoying a good game with him, for he had no patience with newbies, and you didn’t have the patience to learn all the controls. The only good that attempt did was him buying you a PC and every gaming accessory possible in your favorite colors, even though they mostly went untouched. For his sake, you’d use the Switch controller whenever he insisted on a game of Mario Kart, and you visited your PC every now and then for a slower game. “I’m a GAMER. AND I cook. AND I fish, too,” you tease Jin every time you play Cooking Mama and Animal Crossing for all of 15 minutes.

Fishing, on the other hand, was a scene from your worst nightmare. Being woken up at the crack of dawn to maybe catch a fish after hours of waiting while seasick… was something you swore to Jin you’d never do again. Luckily, he seemed to prefer it as his usual “boy’s time” anyway, even though he never voiced it, and you quickly found out that the exact same could be said for golf - but neither of you minded the occasional role you played from the golf cart, seeing your boyfriend in action and matching in the most bougie athleticwear on the market.

Tennis… was a sight to behold. You had always said that when it came to Jin, attending some of his practice sessions just to bask in the sight and sounds of him on the court, but the same could also be said for you, though in an entirely different context. The racket seemed to reject your very being, flying from your grasp on numerous occasions and putting Jin’s trainer at risk as well as the general public when it went flying over the court’s walls and onto the street. Jin went so far as to dub it ‘the most memorable tennis day of his entire life,’ despite the fact that he had won a small championship.

Until snowboarding season came around, you were left without any new skills or passions shared with your boyfriend. His support and endless words of encouragement meant the world, but iIt had to have been for the better that none of his hobbies were yours - you understood that those were spaces he needed for himself and didn’t want to be the girl whose entire hobby or life was her boyfriend.

Nights and days he spent away were left entirely in your restless hands - try, and try, and try….

“Are you seeing Mina tonight? Nana? Girl’s night?” Jin asks as he puts on his coat.

“They’re still sick,” you pout. “I’ll be waiting here for you, baby.”

“Do you want to come along? Mr. Baek’s kitchen is always open.”

“Didn’t you say you were making some kiwi pie thing today? You know I’m allergic.”

Jin resigns, taking off his coat. “I’ll stay, then.”

You don’t allow him to, handing the thick, fleecy material back to him. “No, baby, I’m fine. Tonight, I’m trying out a new interest: European classical movies. Apparently, French films from the 1960s are very influential and artistic.”

“And boring,” Jin adds. “I watched some at university. You’re better off with Asian cinema.”

“I’ll leave that for whenever you’re free, then,” you say, anticipating the day but quickly putting the thought away. “I’ll be blasting this film so loudly, not even your ‘soundproof’ gaming room would be safe from its jazzy soundtrack.”

Jin smiles before parting his lips, considering the words he was hesitant to speak. “What if… what if I called up Taehyungie and asked him if he’s free to hang out with you?”

You drop your head as you raise your brows. “You’re arranging a play date for your girlfriend? I’m a grown woman, Kim Seokjin. I can entertain myself, much like you can…...” Your voice trails off, thinking of all the failed attempts at entertaining yourself with different hobbies and interests that were anything but interesting.

“It’s just that I know Taehyung would love that! C’mon, you know he would! You seemed to be getting on with him whenever we see the boys, right? Didn’t you both fangirl over Frank Sinatra the last time we hung out?”

“It’s Bing Crosby, honey.”

“There you go - I can’t even tell the difference… but Taehyung can. For what it’s worth, he’s complaining in the group chat non-stop that he’s bored out of his mind. So… why not?”

Steps away from his front door, Jin could hear trumpets echoing from his apartment. Taehyung worked his magic, alright, he thought to himself as he inputted the keycode and swung the door open. Jin expected to see the two of you lounging on the couch, watching the film, or simply having the music play through your vinyl player while you chatted away with a glass of wine. What he did not expect was to see the two of you drunkenly dancing in horrible fashion with intertwined hands and Jimin laughing his head off from the couch.

“OH! Speak of the devil!” Jimin cheers, seemingly sober. “Jin-hyung, save me from these two - please.”

In a second, you rush to Jin, screaming his name as you wrap your arms around his neck and messily kiss him on the lips. “Thank God. I can do as the song says and finally dance with mon cherie. Tae, mon ours, go sit.”

A pout appears on Taehyung’s face as he plops beside Jimin, but your eyes are still on your boyfriend, attempting to manhandle him into some form of movement. “Oh, my baby,” he laughs, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Taehyung, I expected you to take care of her.”

“And that’s why I called Jimin,” Tae babbles, forcing a not-so-innocent childlike expression on his face, pointing at their friend. “We-we’re staying over tonight, okay?”

“Seems like a sleepover already,” Jin tuts.

“Humor her, hyung. I was called in halfway through the film and we’ve yet to finish it because they keep repeating the same scene. She’s been saying she wants to dance with you all night like the girl in the movie does,” Jimin says.

“I’ve never seen this film. I don’t know what to do,” Jin says.

“We’ll teach you,” Taehyung says as tries to rewind the film to whatever dance scene you were talking about, in as bad of a state as you were, which Jin thought would help. “Jimin, stand up.”

Jimin does, allowing Taehyung to latch onto him, and thus is immediately suffocated by the weight of his friend. “Copy my lead, hyung.”

The following morning, Jin is as fiery as the breakfast he’s cooking up on his own, ranting to himself in pout while the three of you only watch on due to your shared lack of cooking skills, hungover and bundled up at the kitchen counter.

“Do you think yoga and meditation suit me as hobbies?” you ask the boys after you and Jin had explained how you came up with ‘the movie night to end all movie nights’ as Taehyung had labeled it.

“With your patience?” Jin scoffs, and you’re quick to shoot him a glare - it stung, perhaps more than it should've, so you quickly put the thought away. Nights alone and countless failed hobbies exhausted your patience, but he hadn't seen that... as you hoped. After all, Jin was always supportive and offered not only to stay the night prior, but also indirectly gave you one of the most memorable movie nights of your life with Taehyung. A soft glare was enough.

“That’s exactly what I mean! You need yoga and meditation, but can you do it? Sit still like that?" You open your mouth to argue but fail to do so at the sight of your shaking knees - he was right. "Oh, hey, you know who else can’t sit still?”

“Who?”

“Jungkookie. You seemed to get on with him, too, no? If you’re looking for something active, why don’t you let him teach you boxing?”

“We do pilates together too, twice a week, if that’s more your thing,” Jimin quickly adds, “You’re free to join us any time.”

“Yah, it’s not easy,” Taehyung jumps in, taking a bite of the breakfast that was now in front of him. “If you want to exercise your creative skills, which is a million times more fun, we can do a painting session together. Just for fun, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’ve been telling her,” Jin says, pointing his hands in thanks towards Taehyung for echoing the words he'd spoken to you restlessly when you gave up origami and journaling. There had to have been some wisdom in the advice, you think, but your patience had been worn thin... how much more could one person try?

"She wants whatever she does to be ‘perfect’ at the very first attempt, but that’s impossible," Jin continues. "The only perfect thing in the world is her, but even she has to start as a beginner. That’s the point of hobbies - they don’t have to be perfect, you just need to enjoy them.”

“You called me perfect,” you blush, kissing Jin’s cheek. The reminder sufficed to get your legs to stop from beneath the kitchen table, now fiddling with the fabric of his hoodie. It was hard to envision being good enough or interesting, but at the very least, one person had seen you as such. Jin and his constant reminders were the only things that kept you from falling off the deep end... he never let you stray too far, even in your thoughts, nudging you towards Jimin when your head started to rest against his shoulder the way it always did when you needed reassurance.

“Pilates does sound interesting…” you mumble.

“Good!” Jimin cheers. “Tomorrow. You, me, Jungkookie.”

“Oh, but first,” you pause, holding Jin’s arm. His eyebrow is already raised, knowing you were about to tease him. “Are you sure it’s alright for me to go work out with your very fit and adorable young friends?”

“I am sure, brat,” Jin says, rolling his eyes before quickly whispering to Jimin, “Make sure Jungkookie keeps his shirt on.”

One pilates session with Jungkook and Jimin quickly turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into boxing sessions with Jungkook alone, regular morning jogs with Jimin, and a newfound love for fitness. Boxing made you feel stronger, and Jungkook’s thoughtful observations and comments were of more help and motivation than your now-shared instructor. And catching the sunrise at dawn really was as beautiful and as ‘worth it’ as the annoying health gurus claim to be, something you and Jimin begrudgingly admitted to.

Jin had been supportive as he always was.... up until the day you almost fainted, scolding Jungkook and Jimin for not being more careful of you and insisting you take a week-long break.

“But honey, I don’t want to stop so abruptly! I’m on a roll and I miss the boys already! And for the record, they are always so considerate. I messed up and did more than I should've, but I'm fine today!” you pout, laying on the couch with a hot compress on your core to relieve your soreness and snacking on a fruit bowl, as Jin instructed and prepared.

“My love, you’re exhausted. I don’t want to hear any more of it for at least five days….” he tuts, carefully placing kinesiology tape on your skin. “I hate seeing you this upset, though. You said you feel as though your brain ‘opened up’ when you began exercising, right? Well, why don’t you try exercising that beautiful brain? Take Taehyung up on his offer and take an art class together.”

So you do. Sandwiched between Taehyung and Jungkook at back-to-back painting sessions, you were inspired by their very different approaches to their shared hobby. Tae had his signature style that seemed to effortlessly flow out of him and onto the canvas every time, whereas Jungkook tried a different approach, concept, tool, or style at every session. Both boys seemed like natural talents, but you found peace and awe in Taehyung’s freedom of expression and especially Jungkook’s itch to learn and try new things so fearlessly time & time again...

It was hard to tell what you would create from session to session, slapping paint on a rough pencil sketch every time, but with every stroke of your paintbrush and conversation with the boys, you could breathe a little better...

“Ya, with all these colors… Is this what Namjoon-hyung calls ‘modern art’?” Jungkook teases, staring at your latest creation. You’re quick to poke him with the paintbrush for teasing you, and he’s quick to reassure you.

“It’s Pollock-y, dear Jungkookie the Artist Who Hates Learning Art History,” Taehyung explains. “It is art.”

to: my love [6:01pm]: hey, how’s the art class going? how are the boys?

to: prince charmjin [6:32pm]: good! we’re basically done!! we’re going out for dinner. jungkookie is hungry and i think I owe him for making him listen to my rant on the injustice women face and how society is built on misogyny

to: my love [6:34pm]: hehehe knowing jk, he was willingly listening, like i did. even he’d agree that you don’t him dinner. i made pasta at home..

to: prince charmjin [6:51pm]: aw :( we’re already at the steakhouse. maybe jk will be in the mood for pasta later too though

to: my love [7:01pm] have fun :)

to: prince charmjin [8:58pm] on my way home, honey. tae’s dropping me off. jungkook wanted to come but he’s asleep right beside me and he’s tae’s next stop.

to: my love [9:02pm]: good, they’re taking care of you just as i asked them to

to: prince charmjin [9:04pm]: they’re the bestest boys. i don’t need them to take care of me though. :3

“They’re my babies, and I love them,” you remark to Jin after showing him your latest creation, a matching one-of-three painted self-made pottery sculpture with the boys.

The younger boys were your safe space, he thought. Good. And… so am I.

“And I’m your biggest baby that you love the most,” Jin smiles, pouting his lips in want of a kiss. When you grant his wish, a feeling washes over him… one that he couldn’t help but identify as temporary. A seconds-lasting painkiller. “I guess you get the younger boys, and I get the older ones. I’m closer to them anyway. You’ve met them all, haven’t you? Namjoon and Yoongi? And Hobi, of course.”

“Hoseok is always here, Seokjin, so of course, but I think I’ve heard of Namjoon and Yoongi more times than I’ve actually seen or met them. Do they have any hobbies I can steal? The boys mentioned something about Namjoon and art?”

“Namjoon is art. In that he's beautiful and unbelievable, but also that he is interested in anything and everything art-related - museums, galleries, exhibitions, and all that crap. And fitness, so… there’s that,” Jin says, instantly regretting his words at the memory of Namjoon working out, grateful for remembering his friend’s most unenjoyable hobby to move on to. “Oh, he actually hikes! He meditates in the mountains like a wise old man afterwards. Hoseok likes dance, of course, but he also loves fashion. Yoongi likes fishing and drinking with me only,” Jin emphasizes, having always been proud and appreciative of the fact that he’d been the only one who was ever able to get Yoongi to join in on another’s hobby. “By himself, Yoongi plays basketball.... he’s studying, he plays tennis, fencing, he reads, produces, he scrapbooks, he gardens, he runs, he gardens, he flies, he soars! He actually might be Superman.”

You roll your eyes, prompting Jin to explain. “Sorry, inside joke with the boys. Yoongi does so much and is so secretive about it all that I wouldn’t be surprised if all of that is true. But he’d say he’s Batman rather than Superman, actually. I’m Superman… right?”

Jin places his hands on his hips, buffing out his chest and glancing at you through his periphery, hoping his extra hours at the tennis court paid off whenever you'd had an art or fitness session with the boys. He had to know if you saw him as such, as some type of Superman… especially after the countless times you’d trained with Jungkook and Jimin. Though he tried to push the thought away, the image bit at him, even now when was messing around. A seed of something he couldn't quite name...

When your hands are on his shoulders, trailing down his chest, he begins to relax. Even more so when you use his fork to finally take a bite of the dinner he’d prepared. Perhaps he’d been too worried.

“Well, we both know I don’t need saving, but I’ll play along, my handsome Superman. This Lois Lane wants to meet and investigate the interests of the rest of your Justice League, baby.”

“Okay,” Jin murmurs. “Who should we start with?”

“Namjoon? Hey, he’d probably be Aquaman, huh? Same nature shit, apparently, and definitely the same body.”

Perhaps he hadn’t been too worried.

to: prince charmjin [9:02am]: i am texting you from the beyond. from the spiritual realm.

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: come climb up this fucking mountain and bury your girlfriend she’s dead and hates her life and didn’t pack enough water

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: you’ll know the way, my blood, sweat, and tears left a trail

to: prince charmjin [9:04am]: i gotta admit it’s pretty tho (1 image attached)

Knew it.

Jin was rarely a smug man, but he couldn’t help but indulge in the feeling when he’d woken up to your texts and later when you trudged into the apartment, resigning from a hiking day with Namjoon and swearing you’d never do it again. He guessed you’d hate every second of it but didn’t want to hold you back from your mission and trying something new. His pride is quickly squashed, however, when you follow up the sentence with a declaration that he’d invited you to the opening of an art exhibit the very next day.

“I’m his VIP guest, honey,” you cheer, kissing Jin on the cheek. “And I’m going to the afterparty too so you can have a boy’s night - call your grandpa friends! Oh, it’ll be past their bedtime, won’t it?”

He forces a chuckle. “I hate that that’s true. Plus, I’ve seen way too many people this week, so I’ll game til the early hours of the day - just like I did when I was single.”

Jin hates that the thought had left his lips. It was honest, he had missed his gaming marathons when he never had someone to go to bed to, but it was cruel to mention. He hated the idea that some part of him meant it as such, as a signal, a cry, anything… you never said such words or guilted him when he’d been busy. It was spiteful, it wasn’t like him…. or was it?

“Oh, great! I know you used to love those game-a-thon things. I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t realize you stopped because of me. I hope you know you can do those at any time, okay? I won’t mind.”

Something turned in Jin’s stomach. The seed of what he could only label as worry was now an undeniable pit at his very core.

He should be ecstatic at the fact that you were so accepting of him possibly spending an ungodly amount of hours gaming… but it was too accepting. A smile was on your face, but for the first time in your relationship, Jin couldn’t read what it was - as though a sudden, unknown filter stood between you. Was it temptation? An unthinkable impulse he sensed on your end... Joy, relief, or freedom? Perhaps it was, Jin couldn't tell. It ate at him now, and instead of surrendering, he fought with what he had left.

This… this was the least he could do for you, he told himself, thinking of all the ways he came up short as a boyfriend where others succeeded.

He replayed the image over and over again - the way your eyes light up after every acquired skill or hobby. Your subsequent, beautiful smile seemed like the only thing he could hold on to, keeping aside the anxieties surrounding the reasons behind it. It had to be reminder enough. Seeing you happy made him happy. He knew that…. but he also knew that something dark festered within him. He didn’t like it… he didn’t like it all…

to: y/n [5:30pm] on my way home

to: y/n [5:35pm] just got here… where are you?

to: y/n [6:01pm] are you working out?

to: y/n [6:02pm] hey?

Jin needed to blow off some steam.

Gaming didn’t work. The incompetent online players he was paired with only infuriated him further, and the shot he took only made his heart race faster. He thought to spend some time in the kitchen, but he couldn’t help but overthink, indecisive over whether to cook dinner for the two of you or just for himself. When a thought came to mind - to cook something you’d hate just to spite you for not answering his texts and calls with no prior warning or explanation - he quickly discarded the whole idea. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

A best friend would do, he figured.

When it came to opening up, he could only ever trust his younger friends - the ’grandpas’ as you liked to call them, often gave him outdated advice he never cared for. Plus, they didn’t know him like the boys did - since they now know you as well, Jin figured it was the best-case scenario. Surely, they’d have something to say.

But another hour passes, and still, none of Jin’s messages were seen or answered. The younger boys hadn’t answered when he’d asked if they knew of your whereabouts, and the older ones didn’t answer his calls or texts to talk. His skin began to crawl…

until he remembered the failsafe. Out of everyone, Hobi was the only person who still revealed his live location on a social media app to his friends. It was something Jin in particular scolded him for, knowing it was a safety breach, but now, he was thankful for it.

Of course, he’s still at the damn dance studio.

Is that…?

Chills shiver down Jin’s body the second he hears the music through the studio’s walls. It’s a song he knows too well… and so do you.

Following the music with long and forceful strides that echo through the corridors, Jin bursts open the door to Hoseok’s own practice room. And his stormy intrudance is proven to be justified.

In front of the mirror were you and Hoseok, dancing too close together to a song from Jin’s secret sex playlist, surrounded by the rest of the boys, watching closely and making teasing noises that shook his very core.

“YA!”

Jin’s voice booms throughout the spacious room, overtaking the loud music playing through every speaker. The group scatters, every person with a horrified look on their face…. yours hurt the most.

Rage was unfamiliar to Jin. He didn’t know what to do with it, feeling it then and there. One would normally shout or yell, question and guilt, as he’s seen and studied before… but his lips were frozen in a frown. He wondered if it was common for one to cry out of fury, though no tears streamed down his face… he knew how to hold them back. His senses confused him, distorted, forced to venture into uncharted territory. Jin could hear differing calls of “Hyung” and what must’ve been excuses as someone turned off the music - all muffled and intelligible. Through it all, he could hear only the soft call that left your lips amidst the chaos, “Jin, my love…”

With his eyes still fixated on you and the words that ease his sole, the knot within him came undone.

His throat throbs and everyone knew what it meant, though no one was close enough to see the pools in his eyes.

“Everyone leave,” you command, and the room is empty save for you and Jin within seconds.

The downpour starts. Though his face was frozen cold, Jin’s body allowed him to move, and all he could do was pace the studio and ignore your small steps toward him. When he finally stops, you’re close enough to stand before him, your head no longer hung so low. The guilt on your face was almost enough to make Jin forget his feelings.

“….I’m so sorry, my love,” you say after a moment’s silence. His lips tremble at the words, wanting to refute them… he doesn’t need to say it for you to understand.

His breath is hitched when he sees your hand extend towards his face, which he tilts just as he always would when you did this. He exhales as you do when you cup his face so gently, moving to your touch as his tears are wiped away. But when your hand brushes over his mouth, he can’t bring himself to purse his lips into a kiss as he always would. The dark seed within him still tugged him back from fully diving in.

“Sit for a moment?” you ask, and he nods, feeling his knees giving way as you lead him to the two weirdly placed chairs by the giant mirror wall in Hoseok’s studio. While you sit with your side to the back of the chair to face him better, he slumps against the hardwood backing, staring at the ceiling as his eyes dry up so he can finally face you once again.

“I can’t talk much. I.. what is this? What am I?” he mumbles with a strained voice, pushing the skin at his temples. “Fuck… I’ve tried rehearsing this, and even then, the words just didn't come out. I can't put a name on it, but I don’t like what’s been happening. All of it. No… No, not all of it.” Jin breathes deeply before continuing. “My girlfriend is never around, and not only that, she spends all her time with my best friends… without me. I know you’re on your journey for more self-discovery and that you really like the boys, so I feel like a piece of shit for feeling this way and for saying this, but… fuck, I’m... I'm angry.”

Jin sees you take in his words, brushing away a couple of runaway tears. “I understand. You have every right to be pissed,” you repeat. “I… shit, I’m sorry, Jin. I never meant to exclude you, my love. The boys don’t either… but that doesn't excuse it... It doesn't." You go stone cold, as though you were replaying the time that's passed over and over in your head. "Will you allow me to talk for a little while? Can I… unpack it all on my end?”

How could he not? Jin nods.

“I learned a whole lot on this 'quest’ which started with your support, I may add - and I’m not blaming you here. I’m thanking you, honey… You’ve been incredible.”

Already, Jin starts feeling sick, hearing the words of a definite breakup speech and knowing that he was the furthest thing from incredible. His friends were. All he can do is watch, now looking at his fingers as he bites his own nails on an unsteady hand.

"Most guys would never even suggest to their girlfriend the idea of her hanging out with his friends - alone. I'm so grateful, honey, and not only that, it actually might be one of the sweetest, most attractive things you've ever done..."

H-huh? Jin tugged at his own sweater, thinking of the possible ways you'd get to the end of your speech and the conclusion that stated what he ultimately feared - that the attraction, or worse, the love, wore off with all you were left with.

“But most of all, I'm grateful. I'm different. I probably wasn't around that much for you to see, but... on this quest, it was as though I unlocked parts of myself I didn't know I had. That was a past version of me, the girl who was in an eternal reading slump, and was too scared to do much else but stay in that slumpish cocoon... I love my cocoon and staying in, don't get me wrong, but I just have more things that give me joy. I feel more certain of myself - like more of that confidence you rubbed off on me. It seems trivial, I know, but everything... everything helped."

You were right. Jin hadn't seen any of it - the rewards of your quest. He cursed himself, knowing he could have if he only paid attention, recalling warped memories of your pride and new experiments. He didn't have to take your word for it, seeing some of it now. You were more sure of yourself. Bold. Happier. That one note settled it - if this grand speech were to end the way he had expected, all that mattered was that. That you were happier.

"That's good," he croaks. "I'm proud."

"I'm proud of myself, too," you nod. "I am the slightly more improved version of myself I knew I could be. Maybe I could be even better, I don't know... but through it all, I kept repeating to myself the same phrase, over and over again. 'You’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.' Those words... that's what kept me going more than anything."

Jin's breath is hitched when he's finally able to look at you so directly, at the woman he loved with his entire being, quoting his own words. He had meant every word then, prior, all throughout, and would for eternity. If those simple words were enough to help, though he was certain they were not enough to capture the depth of his love, he had served his purpose in life.

"I was entirely motivated by self-love and your love for me, Seokjinnie. I fucking love you," you exhale, and Jin does too, coming undone. All he could do was hang his head low as the tears instantly return, and in seconds, you're at his knees, reaching for him. Like he'd foolishly been dreaming of...

"I don't deserve you. I've been so... so..." his low voice trails off.

"My love, let me finish, hmm? It'll help," you whisper, trying to hold onto any piece of him, and Jin lets you, feeling a rush through his very soul at him being called as such by you. He just hoped he wasn't awaiting more cushioning for a devastating blow... even so, it was one he was now reminded to fight for.

"I have to talk about the boys. I obviously enjoy the hobbies I do with the baby boys - you remember when I told you how I love how strong I feel now? How I feel creative for the first time since high school? That holds up, and in truth, the boys are just angels. I developed such a close friendship with Jiminie, Taehyungie, and Jungkookie that I don't think I can let that go. I just adore them…. and so much so that I’ve been trying to set them up with the girls - Nana, Kiki, and Mina.”

A breath escapes Jin, his fingers stroking his chin. It made sense, he thought. Nana and Taehyung in particular would be perfect together…

“I know you’re closer with the older boys, and I haven’t forgotten them. Namjoon is very cool, but… pretty much none of what he likes works for me. Hiking is as bad as fishing, no offense, and art is only fun when we’re mindlessly having fun in the studio. Otherwise…” You scrunch your nose at the thought, shaking your head violently in disapproval - the endearing act that never fails to make him giggle, even now. “The only reason we keep in touch is to talk books, which… you know I’ve always liked,” you explain.

Jin nods. You and Namjoon’s reading speeds always made him feel like a third-grader. You’d sooner finish reading a 700-page book than learn how to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich - Namjoon was the same. In a world where most people were not as such, at least you two clumsy nerds know of each other, he thought.

“Dancing was… always on my list of things to try, believe it or not. You were there when I brought it up to Hoseok,” you recall the interaction you’d had weeks ago, and so does Jin, who had been so taken aback at your suggestion to Hoseok, having assumed you’d want fashion or social media advice from his savvy friend. You’d never danced sober more than simply swaying, even on the most private occasions… there was never any reason for him to know dancing was always a thing you’d wanted to try... but then again, perhaps the 'new you' had been buried too deeply. But it took guts to ask Hoseok - he knew you knew that as well - the sheer courage and confidence that must've settled in only recently….

“But…. I pretty much told him that I didn’t want him to teach me anymore after the first lesson. He’s like… really fucking scary, Jin, holy shit. I know you've mentioned it, but I didn’t think he was capable of being like that! I thought he was going to kill me!” Another giggle escapes him at your shock. If you had simply run the idea by him, he’d have told you that already, he thinks to himself, as he did after your hike with Namjoon, but he chooses to say it out loud this time. “Oh, lesson learned, believe me, honey. I passed it off as me wanting a female instructor, which I do. Because well….I couldn’t tell Hoseok I wanted to learn burlesque dancing now, could I?”

“Bur-burlesque?!” Jin says, leaning forward as if it’d make him hear any better.

“Mhmm….” The faint, smug smile on your face calmed his heart - it’d been a while since he’d seen you as such - but it did nothing to calm his mind. Just the mental image of you…. “And pole dancing too. I keep telling my instructor that I want to surprise my boyfriend, so she helped me come up with some choreography involving… things you like.”

Jin’s excitement fades when he remembers - the song. “Was that what you were showing the boys?! When I walked in….”

“As if. That’d be for your eyes only, honey. When you walked in, we were just teasing Jimin about something stupid. The song just came up on shuffle.”

Jin shakes his head and stands up to pace the room, replaying the scene once again and scolding himself. Once again, it’s as though you can read his thoughts. “It probably looked odd from your angle…”

“Why was everyone there? Wait, was that Yoongi in here too?” It’d taken Jin this long to realize Yoongi had been present as well. Save for the makeshift therapy session Jin had wanted to have earlier in the day, he had been trying to schedule appointments with Yoongi all week - a needed fishing trip and a work meeting, but his friend only ever answered when Jin had been fast asleep. Had Yoongi been here for Hoseok? Jimin?

“My day started with Yoongi,” you sigh.

You?! The one person who knew of his desperate attempts to get to Yoongi?! he thought, so shocked he had to sit down, opting for the space on the floor in front of you instead of the chair.

”No secrets, especially since I’m laying everything out today. It was my first time hanging out with Yoongi, just so you know. I wanted to pick out a good anniversary gift for you since that’s coming up, and we went shopping for all these fancy liquors. Then, he was just meant to drop me off here at the studio, and after my lesson, I found out he just stayed since Hoseokie was already here in the other room with Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung. And Namjoon… he was just here, I guess. Actually, I think he’s hiding that he’s dating one of Hoseok’s dancers. The boys seemed to tease him about it?”

“Oh shit, good. He’s always had a crush on her,” Jin smiles to himself. It starts out as happiness for his dear friend, knowing how deeply Namjoon’s affections could run, and when the crush began. It was right at the start of Jin’s own relationship with you. At that time, for the first time in over a decade, Jin finally understood his friend. Namjoon loved love. He got so caught up in the idea and complexities of love, talking endlessly about how it’s the center of the universe, tying everything together. “It is science,” Jin would always rebuff until he couldn’t. Until he understood. He wasn't going to forget any of it again - not even for a second.

And once again, the woman he loved cups his face, searching his watery eyes, and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"….Did you ever feel this way?"

You consider his words and think over yours. "Angry? A little jealous? ....Lonely? If that's what you've been feeling... Yes, sometimes."

“Then you don’t have to be sorry, my love. I’m sorry I got angry more than anything. I… didn’t like that. That wasn’t me…. was it?”

“Not the usual you, but it’s the human you. It’s within reason… I never saw you get jealous before, which is a green flag since I know you trust me - as you should! And I trust you! But still, as someone who gets jealous over you often… it weirdly reassured me, I guess? That you still want me.”

“…. Wait, you get this often?!” Jin blinks.

“Honey, I feel jealous whenever anyone follows their urge to say you’re handsome, which is very often. I always wish I could answer with ‘AND HE’S MINE’ and giggle like a little leprechaun who's hoarding a pot of gold all for himself,” you say with a tone so serious it makes Jin erupt in his signature dolphin-noise laugh for the first time that night.

“I’m always yours! And I always want you! Honey… this is a dark feeling. How do you deal with it often…. I… I never want to feel this way ever again,” he exhales, tugging on the fabric of your top before your hand covers his.

“I deal with it because you always remind me that you’re mine and I’m yours, like you did just now. Because you make sure I know you love me. I… I try. I promise I’ll try harder, my love.”

“No, honey, you do more than enough. I know you love me. I do. I was just… blinded, I guess, which I fucking hate. I… I thought I’d be stronger, better than to fall into this stupid mental rut.”

“You’re human. You’re my human,” you smile, hand slowly trailing down Jin’s cheek but lingering your touch over his pursed lips. Jin’s hands find your waist, and your arms immediately wrap themselves over his shoulders. When your racing hearts calm together in sync, and your breathing follows, the world falls into place and both of your meaningless defenses yield. Your bodies and spirits rest against one another, tired, aching, and longing. Jin wanted just this. To keep you close, for all eternity, if he could… if you’d wanted the same. He’s reassured when his attempt to tighten his embrace falls short, realizing how closely you’ve been holding him in turn. It was physically impossible to be any closer, and still, it wasn’t enough. Exhaling against you, with a hand somewhere in your hair at your back and the other holding your head, his senses overwhelm him once again. It’s too much, the love he’d felt at that moment. Dreamlike, even when he notices that his hand had been lying right over your bra strap. And he remembers even more.

“So… burlesque, huh?” Jin smirks.

“What do you think the chairs are here for?” Turning, Jin’s jaw drops when sees the two now-empty chairs. He tries to hide his excitement by covering his face when he sees you, sure it is red already.

“Oh, with a reaction like this, I’m definitely keeping it as a hobby then. I’m good at it too,” you smile, brushing his hair. “It’ll be good and all for you, baby. Painting random shit and fitness has been fun, especially with the younger ones, and burlesque will be for the both of us. But! My quest is not over, and my introverted self is not fulfilled just yet. I still have crocheting, writing, blogging, and photography to try out. I want something that’s entirely mine.”

“I promise that I support you with trust, love… always,” Jin thinks over his words, fidgeting with his fingers.

“And…I’m…..entirely yours,” he says quietly, a smile finally fixed on his face.

“And I’m yours,” you say with a smile, finally pulling Jin into a kiss that he can’t help but melt into. It’s soft, quick pecks and affectionate murmurs until you straddle his lap. Suddenly, it’s as though your entire mature conversation and successful attempt at communication never happened, and you replayed it all then and there. He reaches for you, pulling you down and onto him until you gasp. At that, Jin’s hand at your nape pushes you into his kiss, and you let him. He bites at your lower lip, moaning when you’re quick to do the same back, yet his sounds grow louder when he lets you passionately kiss him all over. In a fight for stability, he grabs onto the nearby chair and breaks away so suddenly.

“The - the damn boys are still here. I think I heard something break in the corridor - it’s either Namjoonie or Jiminie.”

You open your mouth to say something but don’t, looking at Jin instead. “If they’ve been trying to eavesdrop and want the gist of it, how would you like it if I fake moaned your name a bit too loudly so they know I’m yours and only yours?”

“It doesn’t have to be fake, though, does it?” he asks, leaning back on his elbows and lying in wait, positioned in front of the mirror. Seeing a turn in your gaze seconds before you pounce on top of him, Jin is electrified. Your name leaves his lips and his yours, not just as a moan but a promise. A quest of his own. To make you happier and happier for as long as he lived and more. To find a new way to love you every single day. You deserved as many as the universe had to offer.

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ereawrites · 9 months

Text

Book Club (Kakashi Hatake)

Chapter 2 - Another Ambush, Poorly Executed

You learn very quickly that Naruto Uzumaki has a big mouth.

word count 5.7k (chapter 2/9 - 7.6k words total)

read it on ao3 here

Kakashi arrives on time, for once. Part of you is a little disappointed - your genin only left an hour ago, and since you had them up at the asscrack of dawn, you were hopeful you'd be able to squeeze in a nap before Kakashi arrived to spar. You'd even spent extra time choosing a particularly comfortable tree to lean back against. As it is, you're only just finishing your lunch when you sense his chakra in the forest behind you.

"Good afternoon, Kakashi!", you call out through a mouthful of rice once he's within earshot. "Surely my watch is broken!"

"Aah... is my reputation really that bad?"

You snicker as he drops down from a branch, landing with his hands in his pockets. "I've heard rumours that Tsunade-sama has included in your file you're to be told missions start an hour earlier than they actually do." Lady Tsunade has taken fantastically to her role as Hokage, but you still see a shadow of worry pass over Kakashi. No doubt he's reminded of Orochimaru; you've heard rumours about the Uchiha boy, too, that are perhaps best to steer away from.

Kakashi is back to his usual, blank-faced self before you can think of something to say. "Well, old age slows you down, so they say."

You scowl at him and push to your feet. "We're the same age, Hatake. Didn't you ever learn not to call a lady old?" Unfortunately, you back gives a resounding pop when you straighten, which you feel rather takes the threat out of your words. He chuckles.

"You're slower getting up than you used to be.", Kakashi notes, not unkindly. You toss another scowl, along with your flak jacket, freeing up your arms to really stretch out the tension from your morning training session.

"Hey, my genin are getting stronger! Sometimes I actually have to try when we're sparring now. It's weird. And exhausting. I'm just counting down the days 'til they pass the Chuunin exams and I can get some peace and quiet." A few rolls of your neck have you feeling much better; you take back your jacket from Kakashi, then crouch to strap your weapons pouches back on.

He begins to prepare himself, too, rewrapping his bandages and checking his pockets. "I saw them in the market on my way here. You have the Inuzuka girl, don't you? She's... very loud. Almost as much Naruto."

"Keiko-", you groan fondly, "She's insane, Kakashi. I've never known a kid to be so utterly crazy. If I ever came up against her in a real battle I think I'd just kill myself to save the headache." He hums in sympathy - from what you've heard, his own team are even more of a handful. Since you started teaching Keiko basic fire-type chakra control, she's developed a particular affinity for blowing things up. You've since been instructed to keep these training sessions away from trees, homes, and anything else remotely flammable. But she's also an incredibly sweet kid when you aren't chasing her around, and her companion Aomaru is a real cutie.

Kakashi tosses his flak jacket against the base of a tree trunk, and you're pretty sure you see Icha Icha poking out one of the pockets. Come to think of it, it is pretty hot now the sun is up. You leave your own jacket next to his, then peel off your long-sleeve too, leaving you in a tank top that exposes the scar of your old ANBU tattoo. His eye flickers over it knowingly. You'd left the organisation just a few months after him, released back onto regular duty after the Uchiha massacre left the village short on jonin, and readjusting proved a challenge for both of you. You rub a palm over the faded skin there, and decide to put it out of your mind.

"Shall we focus on Taijutsu today?", you suggest brightly, leading the way onto the pitch.

"You sounded far too much like Gai just now."

You cackle, throwing yourself into a high somersault, and perform several flips before landing on the other side of the midway line to Kakashi. "It's because I'm so youthful and energetic, rival! All I need now is the green jumpsuit!"

"Stop it-", he grumbles, pinching his nose. "-I was looking forward to a training session that wouldn't leave me with a headache for once."

You grin. "When I'm finished with you, your whole body will be aching." You didn't even really mean that as an innuendo, but you're still pleasantly surprised to see how he stiffens for a split second. "So, Taijutsu?"

"Alright, then.", he nods, then he's vaulting into in the air and over your head and landing behind you without a sound, and you're sensing his familiar chakra start to thrum before you've even spun to meet him.

He throws a punch at the back of your head and you sidestep it, turning in to a high kick that he easily dodges; then he's coming at you again, a barrage of punches that you deflect and dodge and catch, barely even breathing hard. He's so relentless you have no chances to hit back, effortlessly guarding himself even as he rains down strikes on your forearms. It feels good to train like this, your movements flowing like water as you dance around him. You were always agile, even when you were a kid and you didn't even know what Taijutsu was. Sharingan no Kakashi is quick, but you are too.

The next time he strikes high you feint left, then right, watching his eye flash to keep up with you - there, he's watching your feet instead of your hands - you catch his wrist and use his momentum to pull his arm past your head, turning and driving your other elbow up into his ribcage. Kakashi grunts, twists free of you, and all of a sudden there's a foot driving into the back of your knee. You drop but manage to keep your balance, rolling around him and springing back to your feet just as he's on you again.

"It isn't like you to focus so much on offence-", you state matter-of-factly, letting him continue to bear down on you in the hopes of tiring him out a little. "You always let your opponents come to you, back in ANBU."

Kakashi doesn't so much as look at your face. "In those situations, I knew nothing about my opponents. It was better to stand back and let them reveal their weaknesses on their own." He's pressing you back so hard that you have no choice but to give ground. The trees are behind you and the sun is glinting off his hitai-ate and he mixes in a low kick, forcing you to leap backwards. At least he's starting to sound just slightly out of breath.

"On the other hand, I know how you fight. We've been teammates on enough missions for me to know your patterns." He says this as if he's discussing the weather, and not ramping up the intensity to push you backwards even faster. You cast out your chakra behind you and are instantly met with forest: he has you backed up against a solid tree trunk - you move as quickly as you can, darting left and pushing chakra from the soles of your feet to give you an explosive boost, flitting into the empty space behind him-

He catches you.

Kakashi's hand is around your neck and he's got you pressed against the tree trunk. "For example.", he continues, eye turned up in a smile. "You always go left when you're cornered."

...Damn. You do, don't you?

Despite your irritation at being read so easily, despite the fact you'd be dead if this was real, you laugh. Old enough to have a bad back, but at least not so old you can't learn. Kakashi's fingers are right up against your pulse point, surprisingly gentle considering the force with which he'd thrown you into the tree, and they loosen even more as you laugh. Now. You bring your knee up and kick him away square in the chest. It buys you enough time to slip into the cover of the forest, even if you're certain he let you land that hit on purpose.

The fight continues as you chase each other halfway around the forest and back again. You're determined to be more aggressive now, and to prove that you know him just as well as he knows you. So you hurl yourself at him over and over again, hardly letting him dodge around one tree before you're dropping on him from the boughs of the next, grappling with him when you reach clearings, even going so far as to drop a particularly large branch onto his head at one point.

Dodging it easily, Kakashi stares up at you. "That poor tree might miss that branch.", he deadpans, shoulders rising and falling rapidly with the weight of his panting breaths. He's stalling for time, but you're honestly glad of the break.

"Call it a casualty of war.", you say mournfully, too tired to think of a cleverer comeback. Your chest is heaving. Kakashi has always had more stamina than you, and the heat isn't helping even under the green-tinged shade of the tree canopy. A bead of sweat rolls from your hairline and all the way down your neck. There's no two ways about it, you're considerably more tired than Kakashi - but you're having so much fun. You haven't faced up against him properly since you were kids, and it's nice (if not a little strange) to see how far you've both come.

"Want to call it a day?", the silver-haired jonin calls. Clearly he can see how exhausted you are, and he sounds pretty tired too. You don't even pretend to consider his offer. He's already one-upped you, and you're no Gai, but you're not willing to accept any kind of defeat from a man who reads smut in public.

Instead, you pull a kunai from your pouch. "Absolutely not." Then you launch at him, and the fight continues. Sparks fly between your kunai with every strike, the sound of metal against metal and heavy breaths the only sound in the forest. Kakashi manages to back you up against another tree, but this time you jump and go over his head - he's smiling at you when you land, still smiling when he kicks you in the ribs, but it vanishes from his eye when you put a blast of chakra into your next palm strike and send him crashing back into that very same trunk. The forest is going to be ruined if you're not careful. Perhaps you can blame Keiko.

The battle has you dancing through the trees for what feels like only the blink of an eye, but by the time you're back out on the training pitch, the sun is lower in the sky than you remember. Every muscle in your body is screaming out in agony. You keep coming at him, pleased that even this tired your kunai is barely more than a quick glint in the sunlight. When the flow of motion takes you onto the river that rushes along the western edge of the pitch, you welcome it, pushing chakra from the soles of your feet and relishing in the cool breeze that comes off the water. Kakashi doesn't even cause the water to ripple when he chases you - an impressive display of chakra control even at your level.

Against a different opponent, you would hope to distract them from their chakra control, force them to plunge into the river rather than take a direct hit. But Kakashi doesn't so much as stagger when you go back on the offensive, not even when you sweep at his legs and he somersaults backwards onto the deeper water. It's frustrating, especially when you're this exhausted. So, you kick up a spray of water right into his face, a frankly childish move your genin have resorted to before.

He emerges looking distinctly like a wet dog, shaking his hair in a way that would be endearing if you weren't so focused on dashing forward into a shoulder strike; Kakashi lets you barge right into his chest, absorbing the impact, and he's wrapping his arms around you and then throwing you up over his head and it's all you can do to stay afloat as your back slams against the water - this is it, he's got you, you're too worn out and sweaty to roll away, so you just stare up at him and he - hang on, did he just glance at your chest? - the desperate wave of chakra you sent out to cushion your impact must have knocked his off balance because he's falling, one foot plunging into the river - you have your kunai at his throat before he's even on his knees.

"A draw?", you suggest, still on your back, practically gasping for breath. This is the best you can hope for against an opponent like him.

Kakashi is kneeling behind you, one hand on each side of your head, throat pulsing against the point of your blade. He's blank-faced for a moment, then blinks. "Alright, then."

You gladly drop your kunai, roll onto your stomach, and push to your feet with all the grace of an especially fat old dog. Kakashi's hand finds your bicep to give you a welcome boost. "I'd hate to have you as a sensei. I think I'd die if I had to fight like that every day.", you groan. As tough as you can be on your team, you've heard that Kakashi is much worse. It's a relief to get back onto solid ground and let your chakra melt away.

"Your endurance is really quite good, you know.", Kakashi replies. Although you do know, you can't help but feel flattered.

"Well, I must be getting lazy in my old age.", you tease, glad to see a sheepish crinkle to his eye. He brings both hands up in a mock surrender, hunching over, and he looks for all the world like a bedraggled cat with his floppy, dripping hair and one wet trouser leg. No doubt you look just as ridiculous - covered in sweat, with twigs in your hair and bruises already starting to form on your arms. Both of you are walking much more slowly than tiredness calls for.

By the time you reach the pile of your things, all you're really thinking about is a hot shower, and maybe a trip to the ramen stand this evening. You toss Kakashi his flak jacket and are reaching for your water container when you remember what you saw in his pocket earlier. "So, how are you finding that action novel?"

Kakashi splutters through his own mouthful of water. You quirk a concerned eyebrow at him as he pounds his chest. "Hah... I haven't had much time for reading this week, you know, my genin team have really been keeping me busy."

"That's a shame-", you shrug nonchalantly, starting to bundle your things into your backpack. You'll walk home without your jacket and enjoy the sun, you decide. "I'm looking forward to reading it. Take your time, though!" You don't want to seem too pushy and let him realise you're teasing him. "Right now I should really be focusing on preparing my team for the chuunin exams-"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!"

The shout comes from the direction of town. You whip your head around and see a shock of orange racing across the training pitch. Kakashi barely has time to groan under his breath before Naruto Uzumaki screeches to a halt in front of you both.

"SENSEI! We've been waiting for you since noon, and we didn't even bring lunch!". The boy's blonde hair is sticking up haphazardly all at odd angles. "I only had one cup of instant ramen for breakfast, too!"

Kakashi doesn't react to the loud rumble of Naruto's stomach, and doesn't question how he found the two of you. "You see - well, I was helping (name)-san here catch a cat."

Naruto narrows his eyes and puts his hands on his hips. You're strangely reminded of Iruka Umino. "A cat? Then why have you been swimming?!".

Kakashi looks like he wishes he'd used his katon to dry off. A droplet of water rolls from his hair down his mask. "This was a special kind of cat that can control chakra to walk on water. That's why (name)-san needed my help."

His grey eye turns onto you, impressively blank, but you read the silent plea in it regardless. Naruto seems to notice you for the first time. "...Yes. The Hokage brought a shinobi cat back from her travels. He's very dear to her." You're pretty sure Tsunade-sama hates cats. Surely Naruto won't be fooled by this-

"Hmm...", he grumbles, seemingly accepting your poker face as trustworthy. Then his face splits into a wide grin, Kakashi's lateness apparently forgotten. "I'm great at catching cats. You should have got me to do it, Sensei!"

Kakashi pats Naruto on the head. "Well, we didn't catch him today. Your training session can be to find him before midnight." Poor Naruto suddenly seems so determined, you nearly laugh, but just about manage to turn it into a dignified cough that reminds the boy of your presence.

"Say, who are you, ne-san? I don't think I've seen you before!". It's entirely possible you're the only person in Konoha who Naruto hasn't pranked, yelled at, or otherwise inconvenienced. Your paths have simply never crossed. There are many people who would call this good luck.

You're careful not to say anything too incriminating: you know what your own genin are like, and this Uzumaki boy already seems just as troublesome in the way that children tend to be. "An old friend of your sensei - we went to the academy together, actually."

"HUH?!", he yells, arms flying up in the air. "No way you're the same age as Kakashi-sensei! You're so young and cute and you don't even have grey hair like Kakashi-sensei, I say! How-"

Kakashi claps a hand over Naruto's mouth, making a valiant effort to ignore the boy's muffled noises of indignation. "We should get going now so Sakura and Sasuke aren't waiting. That cat could be halfway to the Land of Fire border by now!" Naruto stops squirming just long enough for Kakashi to release him, and he starts to race off in the direction from which he came - then spins on his heel, splutters on the dust cloud he kicks up, and sprints back to you.

"Sorry, ne-san, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Naruto Uzumaki!", he chirps, sticking out a palm. You see Kakashi smile out the corner of your eye.

You can't help but smile too as you shake his hand. How could anyone ever be cruel to this boy? He's so infectiously energetic, and he definitely gets bonus points for calling you cute. "Naruto Uzumaki, huh? I'll be sure to remember that name."

He looks so delighted you nearly melt. Kakashi waves at you before they both disappear in the direction of the village; you smile all the way back to your apartment.

Konoha in the evening may be your favourite thing in the world. The sun is just setting when you leave your apartment, lighting the Hokage monument up gold and casting the streets of the village in a warm orange light. You're sore off your training session but a hot shower has done wonders to take the sting out of the pain, leaving you with the kind of ache reminiscent of a hard day's work. After your shower, you had opted to dress in simple civilian clothes: a light sweater and loose trousers, with your favourite pair of sandals. It's been a while since you've had a whole evening to yourself.

The street lights begin to come on as you walk to the market square, restaurants and bars switching on their neon signs, and porch lights flick on outside homes. You catch sight of a mother cuffing her academy-age son around the ear, scolding him for not being home in time for dinner. If your genin have any sense, they'll have already eaten and will be preparing for bed right now. They're going to be focusing on chakra control tomorrow - on the water, far away from anything they can set on fire - and you've got no intentions of letting them leave until they can at least cross the river.

Thankfully, there's an empty seat at your favourite ramen stand, despite how busy the marketplace is. The chef knows your order without even asking, and you're left with a few minutes to take in the atmosphere while he prepares it. Once the shops shut for the day, street food vendors move in with their carts, and the square fills with academy students and jonin and civilians alike. You spy the old man who runs the grocery store, the blacksmith's apprentice who makes the best kunai, and an old classmate's new wife looking incredibly pregnant. You'll have to drop by and offer them your congratulations soon, you note - it seems like only yesterday you were dragging Kurenai onto the dance floor at their wedding.

The ramen is good, as always, and you slurp it down noisily, as always. You're halfway through a mouthful of boiled egg when you get the feeling you're being watched. Your first instinct is to look over at the old woman next to you, apologise for eating too loudly - but she's unbothered, her nose buried in a gardening book. Huh. You suppose it could have just been someone in the market recognising you. The prickling on the back of your neck disappears just as fast as it came, so you go back to your meal.

When the time comes to pay, you find yourself having to dig around in your coin purse for an embarrassingly long time. "Sorry...", you laugh, finally fishing out enough money to put down on the counter. "I guess it's time I take my team on another mission, right?". The chef smiles wordlessly and hands you a tub containing a few dango sticks; he's never been much for chat, but you've always tried anyway and it seems he enjoys it more than he's let on.

That sensation strikes you again when you duck out of the stand, and you know that someone is trying very hard to keep their eyes on you through the crowd. There's a kunai under your sweater, but you don't reach for it just yet. It could very well just be a civilian who has had a few too many drinks and doesn't realise how much he's staring, you reason. You just hope whoever it is doesn't follow you. God... You just want to eat your snack in peace.

Of course they follow you. Of course they do, because Kami forbid you just want one quiet fucking evening. They follow you through six wrong turns, two instances of doubling back on yourself, and even a shortcut through a hedgerow. You finally give up and cast out your chakra in the middle of a small park. Whoever it is obviously hasn't really thought this through, because three distinct chakra signatures slam you in the face without any effort at all. There's one that simmers as if on edge, one bright and bubbly, and-

"Naruto?", you say aloud, turning to see a tuft of yellow hair poking out over a flower bush. A small hand tugs him down and you hear a yelp. Satisfied that whatever's going on here is no threat to you, you shove another dango ball into your mouth. "Get out from behind there, come on."

He pops up, flushed bright red and stammering out excuses. "What a coincidence seeing you here, ne-san! I was just-"

"All of you.", you insist. Naruto's eyes widen comically and his mouth drops open. There's a shuffling from behind the bush, and then a pink-haired girl emerges, managing to look quite dignified if not a little sheepish. She grabs Naruto under the arm and hauls him towards you - then the last one appears, the Uchiha boy, walking five steps behind and clearly trying very hard to look like he has nothing to do with them.

You just stare at them as you chew for a moment, relishing in how each of them blushes slightly. "So, Naruto - did you ever catch that cat?"

His eyes light up at the opportunity to change the subject. "Not yet! Kakashi-sensei told us we had to keep looking until midnight, but he fell asleep, so we snuck away to-"

The pink-haired girl elbows him in the ribcage. "We were just coming to get some food to take back and share with Kakashi-sensei.", she finishes, smiling sweetly at you. "Naruto said he recognised you and wanted to say hello!"

"Well, that explains why you were hiding.", you reply. Her eyebrow twitches but she does an impressive job of maintaining her smile. Naruto, on the other hand, dissolves back into frantic excuses.

"I wanted to... to try and scare you, I say-"

"This must be your team, Naruto." You pat him on the shoulder to console him. It's funny teasing these kids, but you're worried he might spontaneously combust in a moment, and you're not really annoyed beyond the distraction from your dessert. "Why don't you introduce us?"

"This is (name)-san!", he half-yells. Naruto then jabs a finger at the Uchiha, who is still staring very hard at the ground. "That's Sasuke! He's in a bad mood because I was faster than him today." You think Sasuke may burn holes into the earth with his eyes.

"And I'm Sakura Haruno!", the girl says. You're starting to recall her more the longer you look at her.

"Sakura... I remember seeing you at the chuunin exams." Your own team had been disqualified in the second round, but you'd still taken them to watch the individual battles. Sakura's smile drops into an expression of disappointment. "I thought you were very brave."

She preens under the compliment. Naruto, in a fashion which you've already come to predict, starts jumping around and demanding to know why you didn't think he was brave. Sakura smacks him once again - you're really starting to like her. "Just face it, Naruto! I'm braver than you, even a jonin thinks so!"

"A jonin? She doesn't look like one...", Sasuke finally speaks up, dark eyes taking in your outfit and snack with a hint of disdain. Back in your genin days, you had an Uchiha teammate, Ichiro. Sasuke has definitely inherited the clan's talent for withering looks; if you were a different woman, you might have been embarrassed. As it is, you brush the crumbs off the front of your sweater and laugh. Sakura looks as though she might pass out.

"Haaahhhh! Don't be so blunt, Sasuke-kun!"

Well, she definitely has a crush on him.

Sasuke huffs, and looks you hard in the eye for a moment. "Whatever. I really don't get what all the fuss is about. I'm going home." He vaults up onto the rooftops with a speed surprising for his age, and vanishes into the twilight. Oh, he's an Uchiha, alright.

"You've been making a fuss over me, have you?", you turn back to Naruto, cocking an inquisitive eyebrow. "Surely your sensei won't have been pleased you weren't paying attention to training."

Naruto sniffs. "He's a silly old man who doesn't pay attention himself! He just sat under a tree with his eyes closed for most of it."

Sakura is suddenly inching closer to you, all sweetness and innocence. "Naruto says that you and Kakashi-sensei searched for Tsunade-sama's cat earlier this afternoon, (name)-san..."

You quickly pray that this girl never decides to go into the interrogation unit. It's crystal clear what game she's trying to play. But those seven years in ANBU have left you with, at the very least, a great poker face. You nod and allow her to continue. Naruto leans in conspiratorially as she probes. "He's never told us much about his life. Aaaaand we've never seen him around a woman before... Are you guys maybe-"

Kakashi claps a hand down onto each of their heads and they scream. Sakura goes pink enough to match her hair, and Naruto wraps his hands around Kakashi's wrist, swinging wildly under his grip. He must have shunshined here because even you get a bit of a shock, reflexively starting to reach for your kunai, but you're quickly doubled over with laughter instead. Kakashi catches your eye; you can see him smiling at you through his mask before he spins his students to face him.

"Hello there, Sakura, Naruto.", he says, smile gone and voice expressionless. "I'm very sorry for napping all the way until midnight."

"You didn't-"

Sakura kicks Naruto in the shin. "We're sorry, Kakashi-sensei. We couldn't find the cat and it was Naruto's idea to go home."

Naruto kicks her back. "No, it was Sasuke!"

Kakashi pretends to look around, humming to himself. "Well, that makes sense, since Sasuke is the only one who seems to actually be at home. Can't you see that (name)-san is just trying to have a peaceful evening?"

They both have the good manners to look bashfully at their feet, although you doubt they're really ashamed. You catch Kakashi's eye over their heads and mouth, come on, they're just kids.

He rolls his eye and releases his grip on their heads. Kakashi has a reputation amongst the jonin instructors for being a hardass with his students, but you can see how much he cares for them too, and you try to never judge a sensei's relationship with their team. He seems to have wrangled them pretty well considering how strong each of their personalities are. "Go home and get some sleep. We can start an hour earlier tomorrow because of tonight's antics.", he instructs, smiling at them brightly for the first time.

They both groan, say a quick goodbye to you, and then walk away griping at each other. Kakashi sighs. "I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."

"Not at all. I actually think they're pretty funny.", you admit. This is more excitement than you'd planned for your evening, but it's nice to see kids being kids (and a pleasant surprise to see Kakashi again, if you're honest). "Especially that crush of Sakura's."

You've both started walking in the direction of the residential sector, feet falling in tandem. "Maa, it's been more troublesome than funny. She's struggled to keep her feelings separate from her performance in the past."

"Oh, don't be such a cynic, Kakashi! Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love?", you tease, waving a finger at him. His breath hitches a little bit, you think. "She'll be oblivious to everything else until she's twenty. Has she even realised how much Naruto likes her?"

Kakashi chuckles. "Not yet. Although, I think she has some competition in you."

"Me?", you exclaim, nearly choking on air. "I don't think so. He's met me once and I was literally a mess."

"Teenage minds.", he shrugs. You've reached the point where the path branches off, one street leading to your apartment block and the opposite to Kakashi's - but he doesn't head off just yet, instead choosing to tip his head up and watch the last rays of light warm the top of the Hokage monument. You join him, a strange feeling twisting in your gut when you see that they've started to put up the scaffolding for Tsunade-sama's carving. The street is empty, just you and him and the setting sun.

"Can you blame him?", you ask softly, when the comfortable silence has stretched out for a few long moments. Kakashi tilts his head at you, seemingly coming back to reality. Your mouth starts to curl up into a smirk. "For having a crush on me?"

This time, he blushes fast and hard, all the way up to the tips of his ears. You raise your eyebrows expectantly and cross your arms. Kakashi doesn't say anything, but a tiny wheeze escapes his lips, and his fingers furl and unfurl several times.

You don't let him flounder for too long - this is an objectively nice moment, and you don't want to ruin it by risking him passing out and hitting his head. "Kami, Kakashi, I'm only joking! You've already called me old today, so you can't possibly say anything worse."

Kakashi laughs, a proper one and not his normal quiet chuckle, in a way that has warmth spreading on your cheeks too. You must hold his gaze for just a second too long, because he's quickly turning back to the monument. "Thank you for helping me out with that cat story."

"That's okay. But I have to ask - are you just late to mess with your students?"

"...Sometimes.", he concedes. "But sometimes I'm late for more important reasons."

"Like spending time with an old friend?", you suggest, voice lilting back into light-heartedness. You want so badly to poke him, but hold yourself back on the grounds that you are not Sakura Haruno with her teenage crush.

"I was thinking something more along the lines of encountering a particularly friendly dog."

You gasp and clutch your hands to your heart. Kakashi turns to you again, eye twinkling under the streetlamps. "Well, that does it! I'm going home. And don't bother using me as an excuse next time you oversleep!"

The sound of his laughter follows you up onto the rooftop - a shorter route home, now that the tiredness of the day is really hitting you. He remains stood in the middle of the empty street, watching you closely, and he's obviously smiling so you feel too bad to rush off without a goodbye. "Goodnight, old man!", you call down.

Kakashi raises one hand in a wave, and you feel his eye on you until you're out of sight, his chakra warm and golden like the sun.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi #naruto #naruto x reader

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macabremuscle · 2 years

Text

Uncharacteristically Soft Pyramid Head Headcanons

I woke up with feels for the big guy today and didn't let myself get out of bed until I'd written this. Is he sexy? Of course. Does he fuck? Absolutely. But I felt like the man needs some fluff too so here's that. OOC perhaps but it's not my fault I look I big scary monsters and go "ah yes another comfort character"

No warnings. Only fluff.

Obviously can't talk himself, but loves the sound of your voice. Doesn't matter what you want to talk about, he's happy. Even better if you want to read him a story

Has a small hyperfixation with your face. When you two are cuddling he'll often trace his fingers over your feature, especially your lips. He thinks you're beautiful and is a little jealous he can't have a normal human face. Reassure him you think he's handsome please

Takes him a while to actually get used to it, but once he's comfortable with you he's very touchy. Always wants a hand on you. Gives him peace of mind to know where you are at all times. He's more reserved about you touching him, but just go slow, he'll warm up to it in no time. He's just never received affection and good touch before and doesn't know what to do with it

He can't give kisses but his tongue will snake out from his helmet and caress your cheek sometimes. It's the best he can manage. Will also lick over your hands when he's in a particularly soft mood. Like a big dog or cat. If you kiss the tongue he stiffens and will either retract it or grip you tighter. That's basically his form of blushing

Doesn't know sign language but you eventually learn to communicate pretty well with him through a mix of hand signals and body language. He'll excitedly wave you over with a low grumble if he's found something he want you to see

Admittedly, he doesn't get it, but if you make an attempt to try and clean him up, he thinks it's sweet. His open wounds don't bother him much considering pain and suffering is all he's ever known within Silent Hill but if you make a fuss and try and heal him he thinks the world of you. It was very cramped but he did enjoy when you dragged him to the shower. The feeling of you scrubbing away the grim and making him smell like you was very enjoyable

He doesn't eat. It's not necessary for his survival. But that won't stop him from curiously swiping various things off your plate. If it smell good or is something he's never seen before he's grabbing it. I feel like he'd love french fries

Is actually pretty talkative in his own way. He can't form words but his growls and rumbles have different meanings. He's obviously got his aggressive noises he uses on other monsters but you've heard a plethora of other sounds too. Happy rumbles like purring when you're falling asleep in his arms, little whines when you tell him you have to leave, sometimes you'll get a short little noise paired with a head tilt like he's asking a question in response to what you said

He doesn't really have hobbies for obvious reasons. He will pick up on some of your behaviors, he subconsciously mirrors you. I HC that he can't read so, as I stated above, he loves you reading to him. He'll see that you like to draw? He manages to find some old paper and pens lying around. Encourage him to draw with you. He grips the pen like a toddler and his lines aren't smooth but he can make some crude pictures and he gifts every single one to you

Surprisingly likes music. You ever seen those videos of people playing for elephants and they just kinda sway to the beat? That's him. He won't be a huge fan of hardcore genres but anything that has a nice tempo he seems to like. Even better if you can play or sing! It's like he's hypnotized. He'll get very pouty when you try to stop and keeps begging you for just one more song

He's unsure of what he feels toward you considering it's all new. Every aspect of your relationship, he's never experienced or even witnessed before. You have to teach him everything. But even if he doesn't fully understand it, he's not stupid. He cares for you so much. He'd slaughter anything that threatened you or your relationship with him. He desperately wishes he could tell you how he feels but you know through all the other ways he shows you

#pyramid head #silent hill #pyramid head x reader #fluff #monster #exophilia #my writing

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ironstrange1991 · 1 year

Text

Forbidden (Part 4)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Before setting out on a dangerous mission, Stephen decides to settle some things with Y/n. When they leave, she is forced to deal with the emptiness that remains in their place and the fear that they may never return.

Word Count: 4,5k

Warnings: Slight ansgt and mention of dead parents.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It was Friday and you were tired. You hadn't slept the night and classes were being particularly grueling. You spent practically the whole morning in a kind of torpor and if someone asked you, you wouldn't know the subject of the classes you attended.

When the bell finally rang releasing you for lunch, you grabbed your things and left without bothering to wait for your classmates. You wanted to disappear from that place, you wanted to lock yourself in your room and throw yourself on the bed and, if possible, be swallowed by it.

There was a mental weariness in you that seemed to be increasing over the last few days. The fact that the Avengers were on the verge of leaving for another mission was also keeping you awake at night, which didn't help to keep you awake during classes. Everything seemed wrong and you didn't quite understand why and that was starting to worry you. You even tried sounding Natasha out about the mission, but as usual she didn't say more than a few words.

"The less you know the better, is what Tony says" That's basically what she said. You tried to argue that you cared about him and that you knew Strange would participate in the mission which indicated that the situation was dangerous.

Natasha just smirked "Are you worried about Doctor Strange's safety? I guarantee he can take care of himself." And quickly she changed the subject. Yes, you cared about Stephen, but not as much as you cared about Tony. Though he forgot about it sometimes, he was just a mortal man.

You smile feeling a pinch of longing. Even though you spoke almost every day, it wasn't the same and it had been weeks since you'd seen each other. "I just wish Tony didn't have to go on these missions anymore. I mean, hasn't he done a lot already? Damn, he deserves some peace."

You were striding towards the exit and talking on the phone with MJ. In fact, she just listened to all your fruitless whining and just gave a few "uh hums" to say she was paying attention. You sighed feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with all this stuff."

She quickly cut you off "You are not bothering me, you know you can tell me anything. Besides, I don't have any news anyway, so you can tell me whatever you want, I'm a good listener."

MJ agreed "Yes he deserves it, but honestly I think he doesn't stop because he can't stay behind watching his friends go, but Y/n, you know Stark can handle it. He is a super badass. Remember?"

You sighed. I smile in your lips. Tony was indeed a super badass man, a genius, a man who used his inteligence to outcome all his limits. You were so proud of him. "Yeah I know."

Your cell phone vibrated with a message and you asked MJ to wait. You read the message getting even more irritated than you already was. "Fuck"

"Whats wrong?" MJ asked.

"Happy won't be able to pick me up" You replied stepping firmly and praying for a taxi. "All I want is to go home. Is that too much to ask?"

MJ seemed to weigh her next words "You haven't talked to Strange, have you?" You shook your head "I haven't seen him since the last time we spoke. That tragic and pathetic situation I already told you about a thousand times."

"I can understand why you're so irritated. Why don't you look for him before he leaves for the mission? Talk to him, y/n."

"I can't." You shook your had. It wasn't like the idea hadn't crossed your mind a few times. "MJ, I can't. Every time I try to force myself to work up the courage to do it I get this feeling..."

"What feeling?"

You sighed, clutching your bag close to your body and squeezing yourself through a group of students who were blocking your way at the exit gate. "That if he had any real interest in me he would seek me out..."

That's when you saw him. He was wearing jeans and a gray shirt, sunglasses, both hands in his pockets. It was impossible for him not to stand out among other people, yet no one seemed to notice him. He was standing there looking in your direction and you stopped abruptly "Shit"

"What is it?" MJ asked realizing something was wrong.

"He is here."

"Who? Strange? What is he doing there?..."

"I'll call you later."

"No, wait..." You hung up the phone and suppressed a smile that played at the corners of your lips and forced yourself to walk towards him.

You managed to control your emotions the best you could. "Looking for someone, doctor?"

He gave you that sideways smile that took your breath away "Young lady, early twenties, tattoos, beautiful smile. Have you seen her?" He blinked at you with an open smile in his lips.

"Well I think you just found her."

"Luck me, then" He pointed to the phone in your hand "Stark?"

You shook your head "MJ"

He nodded "How are things in Boston?"

You put your cell phone in your pocket "Everything's great, from what she told me."

He nodded "Good. Can we talk or are you going to yell at me again?"

You shrugged "It depends. Are you going to act like a jerk again?"

He shook his head chuckling dryly "Fair enough. Well I plan to take you for lunch."

You couldn't help but smile, but internally you were screaming at yourself that this wasn't a date. "I just missed my ride so I will accept it. Thank you."

"Great" Stephen replied and the two of you walked away around the building. He took you to a small restaurant just a few blocks from the uni. You sat at the farthest table you could find and were attended by a waitress who seemed overly excited about serving Doctor Strange.

The waitress took the order without even looking at you, she only had eyes for Stephen and honestly you couldn't blame her. "Would you like something to drink, sir?"

"How can I help you?" She asked with an exaggerated smile.

Stephen glared at you "Hungry?"

You nodded shyly and he thought for a moment "I'll have the usual" He replied and then waited for you to make up your mind.

You just pretended to look at the menu, your nervousness made it impossible to read the words so you pointed to the first thing that caught your eye "I'll have the salmon with asparagus and orange juice, please."

Stephen smiles sympathetically "Just water for me, thanks."

She wrote it down and left reluctantly.

You shook your head smiling. It was hard to imagine both Stephen and Wong discussing about food or any other normal thing, honestly.

You eyebrown raised "She really didn't want to leave. Probably a fan of yours." He chuckled "jealous?" You pouted "Maybe. Looks like you come here quite often." You added.

He shook his head "I've come a few times, Wong likes their tuna melt sandwich and sometimes he makes me come get it for him."

"How is the band going? America told me your songs are playing nonstop on the radio. Got a record label?"

You shook your head "Not really. Just released the songs online. Fans did the rest and the radio are just following the flow."

"I should congratulate you, anyway. You deserve this. You are very good."

You felt your cheeks getting hot with the compliment. "So you don’t listen to the radio? I must confess I always imagined you listening to my music and being forced to think about me. I'm disappointed."

He chuckled "Don't be. I preffer to listen to them on Spotify. They are good. But I preffer to listen them live."

You smile smugly "Thank you. I could do a secret show just for you if you asked me to. You could choose the songs."

He exhaled dramatically "That's very tempting."

You chucked "We can schedule it, but it may take some time. Things are moving very fast. I'm happy of course, but I'm having a hard time organizing my time between the band and college."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to handle both."

"I'm trying, but college has been taking a lot of my time."

Stephen shook his head sympathetic "By the way, how's your dissertation going?"

You grinned proudly "Almost finished."

He smiles back at you "Glad to hear that." He thought for a moment frowning "America also mentioned something about a magazine photoshoot..."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You didn't imagine that America talked so much about you. Not that you minded.

"Tony doesn't think it's a good idea. In his words: it's a little too suggestive."

Stephen raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes. "May I ask what that is about?"

"It's a tattoo magazine. They want to interview me about the band and talk about the relation between music and tattoos. You know I love both so I'm tempted to take the offer. Plus I always end up in the tabloids anyway."

Stephen gave a small laugh "I'm sorry for the last time"

You shrugged "Don't be. I don't really care. Besides, you saved me. No need to apologize. Anyway, I'm still thinking about it."

He nodded "Well, I'm sure you take the best decision. You're very smart and seem to be getting everything right."

You agreed smiling shyly. It occured to you that you liked when he praised you. You shook your had feeling your hands sweaty.

Stephen look at you more serious now "Y/n... I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you that day. I was scared of what happened... well, what could have happened. I know it wasn't your fault, I'm sorry if I made it sound like I thought otherwise." He held both hands together on top of the table, his blue eyes seemed to see right through you and just for a minute you wished you could read his mind.

You shook your head trying to formulate the words when you noticed that he expected an answer "It's okay, I guess I can't stay mad at you anyway, even if I try very hard."

He managed not to let on how much those words pleased him, but you could see the corner of his lips curling up in a cocky smirk. "It's good to know that."

You felt your face blushing "I apologize for the way I yelled at you, even if you were being an idiot, we shouldn't yell at older people."

He grinned. "Why I always get this feeling you like how old I am?"

You had to look away to hide the angry red on your cheeks. He didn't let that go unnoticed "I'm right then."

You exhaled slowly as you realized you were holding your breath. "It's not fair..." You said looking back at him "You know exactly what you do to me, doctor."

You could have sworn his eyes got darker and he seemed to force himself to swallow his smile. "Y/n..."

You stared at your hands waiting like a child who's said something wrong.

"Stark asked me why I was at the nightclub that night..."

You looked at him in surprise "What did you say?

"I didn't know what to say, so I lied." He confessed.

You bit the inside of your cheek "Stephen..."

"Look, you got mad at me because I said I liked you as a friend, but the truth is, I only said that because I didn't know what to say. Of course I like you and I care about you, but ...To be honest I don't know what you are to me. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and believe me, I know how inappropriate it is."

You felt your heart racing in your chest at those words and to some extent you were grateful to be interrupted by the waitress who approached bringing your food.

"Would you like anything else?" She asked, but her eyes were locked on Stephen.

"No, we're fine. Thank you" He said dryly not amused for being interrupted. Her smile seemed to crumble "Excuse me"

"Why?" You asked quietly as if you didn't even want him to hear the question. But he listened and shook his head nervously and then looked away "I'm leaving with the Avengers tomorrow morning. I couldn't leave without talking to you first."

You didn't miss the fact that he didn't answer your question.

"Tony told me it's something big."

"Yes, it is."

You didn't want to talk about it. You didn't want to think that once again Tony was heading towards another extremely dangerous enemy.

"I hate this." You confessed "I hate seeing you leave and having to be left behind waiting not knowing if you'll come home."

Stephen nodded, "I imagine it will be hard to see Stark go. You must worry a lot about him."

You shook your head and looked out the window to hide that there were tears in your eyes. "I still remember the day Tony told me my parents had died. Every time Tony goes on a mission I wonder who will come to tell me if he dies. He's all I have."

Stephen rolled his lips and reached out and touched your hand. "I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

You shook your head "It's not just him. I worry about everyone. "

He smiles reassuringly "I'll try to keep everyone safe then."

"Stephen... I'm also talking about you. Who's going to protect you while you're out there protecting everyone else?"

He squeezed your hand in his. His hand was shaking but you didn't mind it. It was warm and his touch felt so good. "I'll be fine."

"America needs you, you know that right? You're pretty much all she has."

"I know. I'll be fine." He repeated. You weren't convinced, but didn't say anything else.

"She made me promise I wouldn't leave without talking to you first" Stephen said smiling "She loves you like a sister. Can't stand to see us arguing apparently." He sighed "Things are always so simple for her."

You looked at your food on your plate, but there was a nervousness inside you that made your stomach flutter. You took a sip of juice. "Things can be simple, Stephen, if we want them to be"

He looked straight to your eyes . "I don't think Stark would think that way."

That was the answer you needed but not exactly the one you wanted.

"You know I'm a legal adult, right? You turned to dust for five years, but I grew up, Stephen. I am not fifteen anymore."

He took a good look around as if he wanted to make sure there was no one around to hear what you were saying and then stared at you with a certain gleam in his eyes you've never seen before. "Trust me, sweetheart, I'm well aware of that."

...

When you left the restaurant there was a weight on Stephen's chest that made each step heavier than the last. He could barely breathe suffocated by everything he wanted to say to you and couldn't. Somehow he felt that this might be his only chance and that feeling seemed to crush his heart in his chest.

You walked slowly in heavy silence until you reached a taxi stand. He wanted to portal you home, but didn't want to risk arousing even more suspicion.

"Will I see you again before you leave for the mission?"

He shoved both hands in his pocket "I don’t think so." You nodded going towards the taxi driver, but he grabbed your arm. He didn't want you to leave. Fuck Stephen, say something "I really enjoyed our time together."

You smiled. You had a beautiful smile. A sad one, but beautiful anyway. "Me too"

Before he could even react, you reached up on tiptoe and kissed him dangerously close to his lips. Just a peck, but enough to send heat through his entire body.

You smirked "For good lucky." You turned around talking to the taxi driver "Stark Tower, please" He watched you getting in the car and the taxi driver starting it.

"Y/n..." He called tapping on the rear window. You opened it and he touched your face. "I will miss you. I always do"

You smiled and then you left. Stephen stood there watching the car get lost in the traffic.

…

When you entered the Tower, you were greeted by the usual gale of people rushing back and forth, hurried about their tasks. Happy yelling and giving orders and the whole gang of superheroes planning the mission.

You took the elevator up to the comfort of your room.

You kicked off your shoes and threw yourself on the bed feeling a mixture of excitement and sadness at the same time. You've never talked so openly with Stephen before and now you had to let him go on a mission that as far as you were allowed to know was something big and dangerous. How could you stand that?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. There were a million messages from MJ and a million from Mike. You guys were supposed to rehearse with the band at night, but at that point you couldn't care less. Everything seemed so meaningless.

You didn't realize you'd fallen asleep until you woke up to a warm hand on your arm "Hey darling, wake up. We're leaving."

You opened your eyes to find Tony sitting next to you on the bed. "I thought you would go tomorrow morning." You sat down leaning on the headboard. "I fell asleep. I'm sorry..."

"Change of plans." He smiles fondly at you "Don't worry, I've been working all day."

You hugged your knees. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but the words seemed small compared to all your fears and besides, you knew he knew exactly how you felt.

"Pepper told me she plans to spend a few days in Malibu. You should go with her. I don't like to think of you two here alone."

You shook your head "We're not alone. Happy is staying here with us and besides I have class and I also need to finish my dissertation. My deadline is in two weeks."

He nodded "Right. I had forgotten." He frowned "Where were you after class? Happy said you got here past 3pm."

You shrugged "Having lunch with a friend" You bit the inside of your cheek deciding whether to say the friend was Stephen or not. In the end you decided not to say anything.

"Good." He was silent for a moment.

"Tony..." You held out your hand and he took it in his "Be careful. Please. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

He shook his head "I'll be fine, don't worry." He sighed heavily and got up then bent to place a kiss on the top of your head "See you in a few days."

You nodded and he was leaving when he turned on his heel "About that photoshoot... I think you should do it if it's something you really want."

You smiled "Pepper made you say this, didn't she?"

He smirked "Yeah, you got me, but she's right. She's always right."

You nodded and he left closing the door behind him.

…

The days passed slowly. Each of them without news of Tony and Stephen was like an open wound in your throbbing chest. But it wasn't just the two you missed, you missed the movement in the Tower, Natasha and Yelena teasing you about your crush on Stephen, Sam and Steve talking in the hallways, Thor's laughter.

Without the Avengers, the Tower felt barren, cold, and frightening. You suddenly felt like the girl you were when your parents had the accident. Scared and alone.

You knew you weren't the only one who was feeling that way. Pepper also became increasingly sullen when unable to talk to Tony. He had promised her that he would try to communicate through the intergalactic communicators that he and Bruce had created, but something wasn't working as expected because every time Pepper tried to contact him, she was answered only by anguished silence. She tried to seem strong and confident around Morgan, but when the two of you were alone she looked tired and very sad.

You've tried to stick to your routine as best you could. College, the band practices, but at the end of the day it all seemed so insignificant and no matter how big the Tower was, the walls seemed to shrink in, trapping you inside just like the bluebird you had tattooed on your chest.

In those moments you found some comfort in music, spent hours at the piano composing and when you realized in a week you had a new song ready. Sad, painful, true, but when you tried to write the lyrics of you found that no words could describe the feeling that melody brought to your heart, so you gave up trying to force words where they didn't belong. You named the song Departure and you played it incessantly most nights trying to convince yourself that everything was going to be okay while at the same time being terrified that everything you knew might fall apart.

One week soon became two. Two weeks without news. You couldn't remember when was the last time Tony took this long on a mission. It was driving you crazy.

It was Monday morning and you weren't feeling well enough to go to class so you decided to stay home. America called asking if you had any news and it broke your heart to have to give the same answer. Again and again.

"He'll come back, won't he? Wong said he always does." America's voice was shaky as if she was trying not to cry.

You wanted to scream but you swallowed all your fears and so you replied "Of course he will come back. Everyone will come back, they are the Avengers."

America exhaled heavily, "He always says he's not an Avenger."

You smiled to yourself "Of course not. He thinks he's too good to be an Avenger."

America laughs softly and you were happy to get a laugh out of her.

"I need to go now, Y/n, Wong is calling me back to practice."

"Okay, go there little sorcerer."

You hung up the phone realizing that the magazine photoshoot was scheduled for that afternoon. You groaned throwing yourself on the bed and thinking of a million excuses not to go, but decided it would be for the best if you just went, after all it would be a distraction.

You were finishing getting ready when Pepper knocked discreetly on the door and then came in and sat at the foot of the bed watching you in silence.

"Did something happen?" You asked and she shook her head "Nothing happened. That's the problem."

You freaked out thinking Pepper was going to start crying, but she sighed and then said what was there to say "I asked Happy to take you to the photoshoot. I don't want you out there alone when everyone knows Iron Man isn't around." She sighed.

You shook your head "He'll be back Pepper. They all will." You finished getting dressed "I just spoke to America. She was very worried. We're all freaking out here."

Pepper nodded "She's such a sweet girl. Stephen is lucky to have her by his side. He always said there was no one to miss him in case something happened. Now that's not true."

You stared at Pepper nibbling the inside of your cheek. You didn't know Stephen said that. "America is not the only one that cares about him." You said without thinking and Pepper stared at you in surprise.

"Y/n..."

You grabbed your purse "I'm late" You said leaving in a hurry but she followed right behind you "Y/n, what do you mean by that?"

You entered the elevator "I really need to go" You said pressing the button and was glad when the door closed.

You were right about the photoshoot being a distraction. You felt very comfortable with Karen, the photographer and all her ideas matched perfectly with yours. At the end of the day, you were impressed with the results.

"Have you scheduled the interview yet?" Karen asked.

You shook your head "It will be next week."

"I'm sure it will be amazing . You'll be on the cover of the next issue, people will freak out."

"Hey Mike"

You smiled shyly. You were freaking out a little bit about the result. Though you liked it, perhaps the photos were a little... too sexy?

You thanked Karen and said goodbye. It was night when you left the studio and your cell phone was ringing incessantly.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all afternoon!"

You sighed rolling your eyes "I told you yesterday that I had a photoshoot today."

He nodded "True, I completely forgot. Suzanne had some problems at home and won't be able to rehearse so I canceled it."

Thank god. "She is fine?"

"Yes, she said it was no big deal."

You left the building and Happy opened the car door for you to get in "Good. Thanks for letting me know. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Y/n…" Mike cleared his throat "I was thinking... perhaps we could go out for a drink…just the two of us."

You sighed heavily. You always knew Mike had a crush on you, but you never thought he'd work up the courage to ask you out. Anyway, now that it happened you didn't really know what to say.

"I'm not in the mood. Perhaps another day"

He clearly didn't like the answer. "It's Strange, isn't it?" I saw the way you two were looking at each other at your godfather’s party. He is too old for you. That's disgusting, Y/n."

"No Mike, it's not Strange, and even if it was that's none of your business. But if you want to know, it's because of you. I don't feel like going out with you. That's all."

Happy looked at you in the rearview mirror with a low whistle.

Mike was speechless probably digesting your words.

"Bye Mike, see you tomorrow."

You hung up the phone before he could answer. Happy kept staring at you.

"Not a word about this with your boss." Happy raised a hand in surrender "My boss is on another planet, maybe another galaxy."

"I'm talking about Pepper.

He nodded. "So this Mike likes you."

You stared at him in disbelief "Happy... just drive. I want to get home."

...

It was Friday and you had just left your last class of the day when the phone vibrated with a video call from MJ.

"Hey, what's up? Still no news?" She tried to hide her own concern, but with each passing day she managed to hide less.

You shook your head "It's been three weeks, I don't remember any mission that took that long."

MJ sighed "Peter is worried too. He's been upset since Stark told him to stay, but now it's more than that."

"I need them back MJ, I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens to them. To all of them."

MJ forced another smile "They'll be back. Soon we'll all be together celebrating at another Stark party and then maybe you work up the courage to tell Strange you're in love with him."

"By now I doubt he doesn't know, but thrust me, if they come back, when they come back that’s exactly what I’ll do."

MJ's eyes widened "What exactly happened at that lunch you had? You never quite told me."

You opened your mouth to answer, but you found Happy leaning against the car right in front of the exit gate. "Can we talk about this later? I'm going home. I'll call you when I'm safely in my room."

She made a face, but accepted "I'll be waiting. Bye."

Happy opened the door for you to enter. The drive home was silent. Even Happy was apprehensive now that the days continued to pass and you still had no news. Lacking anything to say, he preferred to remain silent for what you were grateful.

When you arrived at the Tower you went straight to your room and threw yourself on the bed. You hadn't realized how tired you were until then. You haven’t sleept well for days. You only realized that you had fallen asleep when you heard Pepper's voice.

"Y/n...wake up. They're back."

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