#i recently got my hands one of their older albums - alone in the city - and i got this photocard and i screamed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unbridgeabledistances · 3 years

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okayyy so i had something heavier/hurt-comforty in the works as a gapfiller about mickey processing (bc we all need that!!!) but this fluffy little 3+1 about ian and mickey singing to each other happened instead— i hope u enjoy💞

a 3+1 of 3 times ian sang to mickey, and one time mickey sang to ian (to give context to the absolutely wild 11x09 serenade)

also the biggest shoutout to @southside-forever’s 80s gallavich playlist which has SO many bops and inspired bits of this😌

Mickey didn’t really know when it all started— Ian was always fucking humming these days, always whistling or singing some tune under his breath when he came out of the shower. He was more buoyant recently, lighter— the security gig was going well, and these days it felt like something looming and heavy had lifted, releasing the crooked hunch out of Ian’s shoulders that had taken root the sour morning weeks before as he shoveled Fruit Loops and Jameson into his mouth. Since then, it felt like he and Ian were finally on the same goddamn page for once— like they had a purpose, like they were moving forward.

Or at least, moving forward on the weekdays— but today was a slow, lazy Saturday, and Mickey was still laying in bed in a tank top and boxers, sweaty and entangled in the crumpled sheets, laying back with his head on the pillow and playing some overly-gory sharpshooter game on his phone. He’d been trying to beat this fucking level a million times, but his thumb couldn’t move quickly enough at the pivotal moment when he had to shoot a bunch of enemy forces— he’d been at the game for a good half hour, since when Ian had sleepily stumbled off of the mattress sporting a full bedhead to go take a shower, and Mickey was starting to get a tinny, sharp headache from staring at his phone screen for too long. He was just starting to consider getting up, to peel off his sweaty tank top and head downstairs to grab some coffee— when Ian came into the room from his shower, a fraying towel wrapped around his lower half and his torso slick with excess water droplets. Mickey flickered his eyes up from his game for a moment, taking an… appreciative glance, and then quickly focused his attention back on his pixelated mission as Ian stood in front of the dresser in the cramped bedroom, and started to rustle through the drawers for a t-shirt.

Mickey maneuvered his buff video game avatar through a minefield, biting his lip in concentration— when his sharp focus was suddenly infiltrated by Ian, singing under his breath in an airy tone.

“Ooooooh we’re halfway there.”

Mickey gritted his teeth slightly and tried to pour all his attention into the pivotal moment of the level, but half of his mind was being pulled to listen to Ian’s gravelly voice, continuing to softly murmur to himself in a tone that was ridiculously off-key.

“She says we’ve gotta hoooold on, to what we’ve got—”

Mickey’s phone screen flickered. GAME OVER.

Mickey wanted to throw his phone at the fucking wall. He inhaled, then pressed “Start Game” again, one last time— and again, his focus was disrupted by Ian, singing under his breath as he pulled on his jeans and gently pattered his hands in a rhythm on the top of the dresser— which was endearing and sappy as fuck, sure, but it was not helping Mickey with the task at hand. Mickey puffed out a sharp, frustrated breath, keeping his eyes on his phone screen.

“The fuck are you singing for right now?”

Ian suddenly gave a sheepish smile over his shoulder as he rifled through their sock drawer, like he’d been caught in the middle of doing something wrong.

“Don’t know. Song was just stuck in my head I guess.”

Mickey glared at Ian, pressing his thumb to the screen to pause his game. “Cut that shit out.”

Ian rolled his eyes fondly, sitting on the edge of the mattress to pull on his socks. “You should be thanking me for serenading you with your fucking eighties dad music. I could be singing Carly Rae Jepson right now, or some other pop bullshit that you hate.”

Mickey felt an involuntary, amused smirk split onto his face, and he tried to turn it into a scowl. Fucking adorable motherfucker.

“Okay, tough guy. If anything you should be thanking me for cleansing your ears from the techno garbage that you used to listen to.”

Ian gave a soft smile, shoulders turning fully towards Mickey now that he’d finished pulling on his socks— and then he turned and clambered into the bed, hovering above Mickey and causing Mickey’s fingers to go slack around his phone case. Mickey could smell the warm, freshly-showered scent of him, all cheap bar soap and Old Spice deodorant, and felt the soft press of his t-shirt through Mickey’s thin tank top— an overly worn t-shirt, one of Mickey’s, that stretched just a little too tight over Ian’s torso.

Ian looked down at Mickey, fucking beaming for some reason, his eyes light. He swooped down, pressing a soft, quick kiss above Mickey’s eyebrow. And then—

“Take my haaaand, we’ll make it I sweeear”

Mickey felt an involuntary, uncomfortable chuckle bubble up out of his ribcage. Was Ian fucking… singing? To him? It definitely seemed like it. And as much as he didn’t want it to, because this was fucking sappy and ridiculous and… well, gay— Mickey couldn’t help the fact that his husband leaning over him, breathily singing the tune of one of their goddamn wedding songs in his husky tone-deaf voice, made Mickey’s blood run a little bit hotter; which was bullshit, because absolutely nothing about this should be hot, and it was probably the most disgustingly married thing that Mickey could think of— but apparently everything about Ian, every dorky and fucking god-awful cringey thing that he did, was a turn-on, or at least according to Mickey’s thudding heartbeat and sweaty palms right now.

Ian’s face was still hovering centimeters above his, his eyebrows raised triumphantly and sporting a sappy fucking grin, like he knew how affected Mickey was by this, no matter how much Mickey grumbled and complained and tried to hide it.

Mickey rolled his eyes. “You’re fucking soft, Gallagher.”

Ian just leaned down again, kissing up the slope of Mickey’s neck and biting at his earlobe—and, okay, maybe Mickey could get behind Ian’s singing after all.

Ian’s singing was starting to get fucking ridiculous— and as much as it made something deep inside Mickey feel a light pang of relief, to see Ian being his old bubbly self again in the rhythms of routine and held by the safety net of financial stability because of the security gig that made the air between them less stale, it also meant that they were also around each other pretty much 24/7, and Ian’s serenades were starting to get relentless.

While they pretty much had a common ground in liking nostalgic 80s music, they would still inevitably argue about what music to play in the ambulance every morning— and whatever shitty album they eventually chose to put on, whether it was Ian’s pop garbage of Mickey’s mellower 80s tunes, Ian’s brain would apparently absorb all the songs like a fucking sponge and he’d start singing them all day long—in the kitchen, in the shower, even when they were just laying in bed on their phones and Ian would constantly hum absentmindedly.

Today they were driving to some bougie dispensary in Glencoe, near a bunch of ridiculous mansions on the very outskirts of the city, and it was Ian’s turn to pick the music— Mickey usually elected one of the well-loved CDs that he’d jammed into the glove compartment as they were refurbishing the ambulance, CDs that he’d kept since he was a kid when he piled them high in the corner of his grimy room next to a half-broken boombox— but as much as they were Mickey’s comfort CDs, Ian could only listen to Bon Jovi so many times before he started to slander 80s music as a collective genre.

“Can we just listen to something by someone who isn’t older than us, just this once?”

“Easy for you to say, Gallagher. At least the music that I like has fucking words.”

When it was Ian’s turn to pick the music, he usually picked more modern stuff with heavy beats and a thrumming bass (though more often than not he also appeased Mickey’s tastes with some “80s throwback” playlist he’d found on Spotify that he’d noticed Mickey would bob his head along to)—but on longer drives, like this one, it was easy to butt heads about the soundtrack. Ian had allowed Mickey to play through one of his Queen CDs that morning, and then Ian had put on some whiny indie bullshit from a playlist on his phone for the other half of the drive— now they were heading home after a long day, with the stereo turned low to a local radio station.

They’d settled into a comfortable silence, as they often did at the end of the day when their energy faded— Ian had stopped pattering his hands on the steering wheel like he usually did when he was amped up and buzzing with energy in the mornings, and Mickey could tell they were both ready to collapse onto the couch the second they set foot in the door.

Mickey blew out a deflated breath and reached to turn up the radio, tuning in to some middle-aged host with a cheery voice chattering about the heat wave in Chicago that upcoming weekend—and then the airwaves went silent, and there was the overdramatic sound of a slamming door and a gospel choir.

Ian’s ears nearly fucking perked up at the sound as the opening chords began.

“Life is a mystery… Everyone must stand alone…”

Ian immediately raised his voice to join in, the tired slouch leaving his shoulders.

“I hear you call my naaaame”

He turned to Mickey and pointed overdramatically, causing Mickey to shove his arm away but unable to quell the overly fond grin that he knew was blooming on his face.

“And it feels like… home.”

The beat dropped, rolling into the chorus, and Ian energetically drummed his hands against the steering wheel once more.

“C’mon, Mick!” Ian laughed, throwing his head back dramatically as he sang while still trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer, I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there.” Ian’s pitchiness clashed with the melody, but he was too focused on singing and bopping side to side in this seat to really care.

Mickey rolled his eyes, his lips still turned upwards at the corners while he watched his absolute dork of a husband jamming to Madonna. “Isn’t this song about giving someone a blowjob or some shit?”

Ian gave an easygoing laugh. “Technically, yes. And it’s also definitionally a gay anthem, which means you have to sing with me.”

Mickey scoffed and flipped Ian off. “Fuck off.”

Ian raised a playful eyebrow, and continued to sing with relentless eye contact:

“It’s like a dreeeeam, no end and no beginning”

Mickey felt heat rise into his cheeks against his will. No fucking way was he going to sing a Madonna song about a blowjob stone-cold sober at 2pm on a Tuesday while driving home from work with his fucking husband—which, wow, that was probably the gayest sentence that had ever crossed Mickey’s mind in his 26 years of existence (which was definitely saying a lot).

This wasn’t ever a place Mickey thought he’d be in— sitting beside Ian so comfortably, singing fucking songs while they drove home from their daily commute; getting to soak up all the warmth, all the brightness that had always radiated out of Ian so intensely that it nearly blinded him, a warmth that he’d always wanted to lean in closer to even when they were just scrawny kids in a shitty neighborhood still figuring everything out.

Maybe, just maybe— it was okay to lean in a little more.

By the time the chorus rolled around the third time, Mickey was begrudgingly humming along, like he usually did whenever the songs that Ian was singing on and endless loop got stuck in his own head and popped up while he was brushing his teeth or making toast for breakfast— by the time the final rhythmic chorus faded to silence on the radio waves, Mickey glanced over at Ian, singing at the top of his lungs, face slightly flushed and grinning ear to ear.

“Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there.”

Ian and Mickey were walking down the moonlit sidewalk, veering back home after an evening at Lip’s— the night had honestly been weirdly enjoyable, which was definitely a welcome reprieve from all of Lip and Debbie’s intense back-and-forths about the house over the past few weeks. Tami and Lip had needed to go over to Brad and Cami’s for some bullshit crisis management about the stolen bikes, and Ian had readily agreed to watch Freddie— which meant that whether he liked it or not, Mickey had spent his Friday evening at Lip’s half-packed apartment watching Ian coo over a one-year-old, which was… not a totally unwelcome sight.

Trying to keep his shit together, Mickey had snapped a picture to send to the Gallagher family group chat, and everyone had immediately given them shit about being so eager to babysit and get their hands on a toddler like a couple of baby-crazed newlyweds—which had caused Mickey to start overzealously complaining in the groupchat to compensate while Ian occupied Freddie. Kev had noticed the texts and swung by Lip and Tami’s house after closing the Alibi to keep the two of them company, bringing by a pack of beers—and now he and Ian were warm and happily buzzed, relieved of their babysitting duties and walking the chilly city streets back towards the Gallagher house.

Halfway through the walk Ian had interlaced their fingers, and now their arms were swinging slightly as they turned the final corner to walk down the last stretch of pavement towards the chain-link fence—when suddenly, Ian stopped cold a few houses away from the Gallagher front porch. He looked down at Mickey, raising their entangled hands and pressing a kiss to the inside of Mickey’s wrist.

Mickey raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Ian just looked back at him—his cheeks glowing pink from the few beers, his eyes light and unguarded under the streetlamps.

“This spot reminded me of something.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. Of fucking course it did. Ian was a sappy motherfucker on the best of days, but with a couple of beers in him he was practically uncontrollable.

“What?”

All of a sudden Ian let go of his hand, punching into the air dramatically.

“Cause love is a battlefiiiield”

Mickey laughed, feeling warm hot blood rush to his cheeks in delight—and fuck, he loved his husband so goddamn much. And just this once, mostly because of the own alcohol running thick in his bloodstream, Mickey made the lurching decision to join in, stepping closer towards Ian and raising his hands equally as dramatically.

“No promises, no demands”

“Woooooah”

Ian had practically doubled over with laughter, tears welling in the corner of his eyes—and Mickey let himself get lost in it, the warm feeling buzzing through his body, of love and joy and fuck knows what else, getting to sing on a fucking street corner with his husband a decade after everything had gone so gut-wrenchingly wrong, leaving him bleeding on this same pavement.

They stumbled over their own feet up the stairs, fumbling out of their clothes and collapsing into bed—and later, just as Mickey was on the brink of fading into unconsciousness, Ian mumbled the same refrain into the crook of Mickey’s neck in a sleepy voice, like the song was still stuck in his head and he just couldn’t help it.

“Love is a battlefield.”

It was late— it was one of those slow, tender nights when the past was hanging heavy over them, laying pressed together in bed as thin streams of moonlight poured in through the blinds, pressing whispers into each other’s skin about all of the hurt and the doubt that had been seeped up and healed with time.

Ian was sprawled back on the bed and Mickey was laying with his head resting on his chest, feeling his ribcage expand and contract each time he took a breath. They’d absorbed so much the past few weeks— the sick, twisted blows of a loss that felt all the more jagged and painful because of how muddled the grief for Terry was—but after a few days had passed they’d found a place to settle, in the comforting press of the silence in their bedroom.

Mickey was mindlessly playing with Ian’s fingers, listening to his steady breathing—and without thinking, he ran a finger over the cool silver of Ian’s wedding band, letting out a breathy chuckle.

“I still can’t believe we’re married sometimes, man.”

Mickey could feel Ian’s lips curve upward into a smile from where his mouth was pressed against the top of Mickey’s head.

“Yeah, me either.”

And Mickey felt something bubbling, something welling— and he didn’t ever fucking sing, not unless Ian made him, but Ian was always fucking dropping song lines into sappy moments like this.

So he took a breath, and, half-singing but mostly talking, in a way that sounded almost mocking if it wasn’t so soft around the edges, he let out into the dark silence of the room:

“At last….”

He wasn’t even singing, not really—he was just sort of… saying the words in a singsongy way, but he knew that Ian could tell what he was doing, what he was trying to do. He was trying to be as fucking sweet and soft and pliant as Ian was, as Ian always was in moments like this, in a way that sometimes made Mickey feel brittle and hard in comparison. This time, Mickey wanted to breathe out the love he had for him into this moment, the love that made his ribcage feel like it was going to fucking burst— a love that he felt erupting outwards when Ian had played this song for him for the first time a few weeks before the wedding, and had asked with a shy smile, “D’you think it’d be okay if you walked down the aisle to this song?”

Ian’s chest shook with laughter, and he carded a hand through Mickey’s hair. And then, in his gentle, sleep-soft voice, in a breathy tone that tickled the shell of Mickey’s ear:

“My looove has come along”

Mickey rolled his eyes fondly, just to prove something to himself, even though he knew Ian couldn’t see him—and then he reached a hand upward and leaned back, drawing Ian’s chin forward to press his lips to his for a brief, lingering moment.

Mickey settled back against Ian’s chest again, and felt Ian press a kiss to the top of his head. He smiled contentedly, closing his heavy eyelids.

Maybe being a couple of sappy motherfuckers wasn’t so bad.

#i wrote this so fast bc it is midterms szn and i am a busy bee! but simply needed to get this out of my brain #i love y’all and hope u enjoy the softness!!#also @ the anon asked me for more drunk happy husbands here u go<3 #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless #shameless fic #ian x mickey #ixm #ian and mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #gallavich fanfiction

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gossip-girl-of-middleearth · 3 years

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Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

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Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

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When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

#ahh yes #Newsies my beloved <3 #and bless my family Gandalf #I’m gonna send him a gift next year from the small country town I’m moving to for his birthday as a thanks #also I’m torn between naming the golden retriever ‘Jaskier/Dandelion’ or ‘Glorfindel/Glorfy’ now #so happy that’ll soon be my only dilemma in life <33

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heartbreakgrill · 4 years

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Teenage Memories; 5SOS.

description: in which you surprise your boys on tour.

a/n: rushed but needed for my state of mind lol

You were there for the first full 5 Seconds of Summer YouTube cover, when Ashton had finally joined the band and they covered Teenage Dirtbag. Against your better judgement, thank you very much, considering you recommended they cover a Christmas song. There’s a tree in the back, for God’s sake! But, you couldn’t complain when their success grew from there. The comments on that video alone were enough to make Michael cry with amazement.

You were there when they wrote their first song, having helped record a majority of Gotta Get Out. Film was your passion and when they approached you with an invite to be their official videographer, you nearly burst into tears. Music video after coming music video, they had demanded you a spot on set, whether it be directing a specific scene or simply listening to cameramen explain certain things to you.

You were there when One Direction (!) noticed them, offered them a slot on tour. You helped Luke, Calum, and Michael convince their parents to let them drop out of school. You promised Ashton to drive Harry and Lauren home from school every single day, and did so without a second glance. You even became like an older sister to them, comforting Harry when he cried over Ashtons departure. You were like a stone, biting back your own tears.

You were there to greet them when they got home. You stood behind the rest of their families, wringing your hands and peeking on your tiptoes to see. Fans were gathered around, some having recognized you from videos or Instagram. But others were denying you the opportunity to see your boys. However, after seeing their families, the boys pushed through the fans and enveloped you in the biggest hug. tears were exchanged, kept-promises discussed, and tour diaries rang through your ears.

You weren’t there much after, having been accepted to college in New York City to study film. The boys argued that you could just work for them, but you had to go. You had to pursue your dreams. You did so while they released their second album, began their Sounds Live, Feels Live tour. You wanted to be there, for release parties, send offs at airports, hell, for Christmas when they came home to Australia. And they were disappointed, too, spamming them group chat with complaints and sad selfies. But what they didn’t know was that you were working overtime with full summer classes. That you were going to be graduating at 21.

You had discussed with their tour manager having a not so small job of videoing tour diaries. It was an idea you brought up to the boys right before their first album. They loved it, but management at the time thought it would be a distraction. This time around was different. You were flying to their most recent tour destination at 4 AM, well rested off of melatonin and three coffees. The tour manager picked you up from the airport and brought you to the hotel, around back, where there were no fans but, rather, three huge tour busses.

They were texting in the group chat, questioning you about finals and which classes you would take next semester. Little did they know, you grinned to yourself.

“Should I send a selfie to them of me next to their tour bus and just wait?” You giggled, brainstorming ideas with Lisa.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” she pointed you to the bus and watched as you posed.

“Sent. Now we wait.”

Three years you had waited to see your boys, the superstars you had grown up with in Calum’s basement, Lukes garage, Michaels pool, Ashtons car. Two you had listened- and cried- to as their own little critique. You never critiqued anything, but stupid background vocals or random areas you felt needed bass or drums. They loved it, though. One group of people who were closer to you than anyone else in the world.

And their footsteps were loud, pounding Converse, Nikes, Vans, and Adidas sneakers against concrete. Luke was the fastet, having shot up a few more inches than the last time you saw him. When he saw you, and you saw him, your grin widened- if possible. Tears spilled over your cheeks, causing blots of pink to spread across to the very tips of your ears.

“You’re shitting me!” Luke ran at you like a bull, arms open and encircling your waist easily. He lifted you in the air and spun around, laughing like a maniac. Calum pulled you from his embrace, hugging your shoulders. Michael joined him before Ashton pried off their hands and picked you up, like Luke had.

Tears were exchanged, as well as laughter, reminiscent of those hot summer days in Ashton’s car, windows down, Calum shoved between you and Luke as you refused to sit in the middle. You fought over a song you wanted played and they caved in after not much trouble because you could get your way. They loved you.

And you loved them.

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puckngrind · 4 years

Text

What’s In a Name: 1 - J Toews

Summary: Bekah heads to the 2015 All-Star game in Columbus where she meets Jon.

Warnings: mentions of break up, swearing, smut

Word count: 3205

Series masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

Numb.

Numb was the word Rebekah finally landed on to describe her state of being. She knew it wasn’t grief. She felt that emotion rip through her soul in waves when thinking of her grandfather who passed away two years prior. This wasn’t that or pain and she knew it.

Her boyfriend of the last four years walked into their shared apartment two days after Christmas in 2014 as she was cleaning up the holiday decorations dancing to the N’Sync Christmas album. He announced he was done with their relationship and moving in with his coworker that night. Rebekah had convinced herself that this man was the one she would marry and spend the rest of her life with. Now the cold, numb feeling she felt said maybe that she willed herself to the feelings of wanting to be married and the thoughts of marriage was not due to the actual love she thought they shared.

“You need to eat Bekah.” Brynn shoved eggs and bacon in front of her face. “And we are going back to your place today to remove the asshole’s presence from it. Got it, Bekah?” Her best friend’s hand landed on Bekah’s in that mom kind of way. To be honest, Brynn was kind of like a second mom. She was older but the two hit it off from the moment they met. Brynn was in accounting and Bekah in marketing at a same firm in Columbus, Ohio. They were work wives if you asked those who interacted with them the most.

“Thanks Rin.” Bekah was the only person to call her a nickname which was a running joke since Brynn’s name was chosen specifically because it did not have nicknames. Of course, Bekah found one and Brynn secretly loved watching her mother flinch when she heard it used.

The two headed over to the Bekah’s apartment after breakfast. “Maybe I should just move? Break the lease?” The realization that she would never feel at home again started settling in as she watched Brynn pack up the pictures from over the fireplace and moved towards bedroom.

“You can come live with us until you find a new place. Derek mentioned it in bed last night.” Brynn and Derek were the cutest married couple Bekah knew. “Plus the team is on a roadie so we can have the house to ourselves to burn things if ya want, drink wine, and of course, eat Jeni’s.”

Derek was a trainer for the Columbus Blue Jackets. He traveled with the team which Brynn sort of loved because she could host nights in when he was out of town but hated that he was gone so much. Bekah knew she hated to be alone but would never admit to it. There was a perk Bekah enjoyed from being friends with Brynn and Derek. She was always the one who went to games with her bestie. While Bekah wouldn’t call herself a die hard fan, she loved the atmosphere of the arena. Hockey was something that amazed her for a multitude of reasons. For starters, the way these giant men skated so gracefully while all 5’7” of herself somewhat athletic self could hardly stand on ice skates. Then they hit pucks and opponents so impressive to watch.

“You just need to get back out there.” Brynn handed Bekah a glass of wine while settling into the couch to watch the last game of 2014.

“I don’t know Rin. I kinda think I need to be alone for awhile. Find myself or whatever.” Bekah sipped her wine and took in the game.

“I’m sure Derek could introduce you to one of the single guys on the team.” Brynn nods to the television. “No strings attached there. You know most of them go home for the summer.” Brynn giggled as she watched her best friend’s face contort.

“Holy shit Brynn! No. NO! Talk about awkward. And they are either married or way young, right?” Bekah barked out.

“Well the ones I’m thinking of are all 21 or older...and maybe you just need to get under someone new, that’s all I’m saying.”

“And a pro hockey player is your solution? Like they would even give me the time of day.” Bekah pulled at her french braid then shoved her empty hand deep into her hoodie attempting hide her insecurities. “I’ve been single for what, five days, friend. I don’t need anyone new right now.”

“Well you should see the way some of the boys look at you. Boone comes to mind.” The gasp out of Bekah’s mouth was enough for Brynn. “When you are ready, just let me know.” She eyed her best friend then dropped the topic for now.

January brought a new chapter. Bekah found a place she loved and swore off men for the near future.

“You are coming to the All Star things with me. Derek already got you an all access pass so you cannot say no. He only gets two.” Brynn announced the week before the All-Star break. She tried to convince Bekah to go with them on vacation but Bekah was already feeling like the third wheel in the few weeks since the breakup and said no.

“That sounds fun.” Brynn’s mouth dropped open when Bekah didn’t fight the announcement.

The city was buzzing and finally felt like a hockey town. Bekah picked Brynn up and the two fluttered around the arena district before taking in the activities on the concourse then headed below to go see Derek. The amount of people in the tunnels was crazy but soon the two found Derek. Bekah pointed to a place to meet and wandered off while the couple spoke.

“So are you related to a Jackets player?” A deep voice boomed above Bekah’s head.

“Huh?” Bekah turns and looks up at the tall, handsome man decked out in All-Star gear. She noticed a 19 on his sweatshirt meaning he was a player.

“Your shirt makes me think you are a Columbus fan and since you are down here...I’m assuming you are a relative. Am I wrong?” His serious face cracks into a slight smile.

“Oh! I’m friends with the trainer.” Bekah replies finally pointing into the sea of people.

“Nice. I’m Jon. And you are?” Jon places his hand out to shake Bekah’s hand. She places her hand in his.

“Rebekah. Bekah to most. Nice to meet you.”‘ she looks up into his dark brown eyes. “So, which team do you play for?” She moves her hand out of his and flicks her finger up towards the number.

“Blackhawks.” Their conversation quickly turning into Chicago and how each enjoyed the city. “Well, Beks, I have to go. Can I find you later?” Jon winks while touching her forearm slightly and she nods feeling her cheeks turning pink before he walks off towards the locker room.

“Oh. My...GIRL!” Bekah hears Brynn almost at squeal level as she turns around. “You were just talking to Jonathan...eekkkk!” Brynn does a little dance and her words become incomprehensible.

“He’s nice.” Bekah smiles looking around to see if he’s in view.

“And single!” Brynn coos.

“Don’t Rin.” She gives Brynn a death glare and that just stop look.

“I’m not...just stating a fact. Let’s go find our seats.” Brynn grabs Bekah’s hand and leads her back up to their glass seats.

The skills competition went on and Bekah noticed every chance Jon got he skated towards where she was sitting. He’d wink or nod and then skated back. Just a little “Hey, I see you” before returning to his captain duties.

“I’m not saying anything but I see you two.” Brynn leans into her best friend. Bekah can feel the heat in her cheeks spreading and with his next stop in front of her she tightened her thighs together trying to will away the way he made her entire body tingle in just how he looked over at her. “Let’s head down before the crowd gets up!” Brynn announced at the last commercial break. The two got up and headed down to meet up with Derek.

“So is there a good place to get a drink around here besides my hotel’s bar?” Jonathan leans down into Bekah’s ear making her heart skip a beat and her body jump. “Sorry, did I startle you?” Brynn’s glowing recommendation of him as well as the way he spoke to her caused Bekah to say yes to drinks at a bar around the corner.

Drinks led to standing outside his hotel room. “Jon.” Bekah grabbed his wrist with a confidence she didn’t think she possessed. His gaze moved from the door to her hazel green eyes. “What are you expecting when we go through that door?” His lips pressed together then curled into a smirk.

“No expectations. Promise. Just come in.” He easily broke her grip and wrapped his hand in hers leading them through the door. Bekah wasn’t sure she knew hotel rooms this large even existed in Columbus and she takes in the space and including the large window where she can see the city lights dancing off the Scioto River.

“I’m pretty sure this is larger than my apartment.” She finally slinks out of her jacket and looks over to where Jon has disappeared in the bedroom.

“You live alone?” He comes out pulling on a t-shirt and Bekah catches the gasp is her throat with the glimpse of his abs.

“Uh, yeah. Fuck. Yes. Sorry. Recently dumped.” She fiddles with her hair and looks for the closest chair before her legs give out.

“I’d say I’m sorry about the break up but I’m not.” Jon places his arms on either side of the chair Bekah just sat in flexing while leaning in. “His loss...my gain.” He presses his lips on her forehead before retreating to the couch across the sitting room. “So what do you do for a living?”

“Marketing. I’d ask you but...” Bekah giggles feeling herself relax while looking up at Jon’s serious face. “I do have some questions about your job.”

“Open book.” Jon opens his hands to a motion her to continue.

“How long have you played in the NHL? Same team? Like your captain?” The line of questions made Jon crack a smile.

“Started in 2007. Always with the Blackhawks. And his nickname is Captain Serious.” Jon pulls his lips together like he does in interviews and looks over at the gorgeous woman who seems to be processing the information.

“Captain Serious huh? Sounds fun.” Bekah crosses her legs cursing her body for the feelings pulsing throughout. “How often are you in Columbus?”

“Once a season. We only play them twice. Played them in December and then they play in Chicago in March I think.”

“Nice. Well, I think I’ve sobered up enough and you have an All-Star game tomorrow.” Bekah abruptly states and starts for the door. Jon quickly catches her hips and stops her dead in her tracks.

“What just happened there? We were talking and then your shoulders wiggled and you announced you are suddenly leaving.” Jon holds Bekah firm in his grasp. His gaze moves from her soft dark golden brown locks framing her face to her eyes which told him her actions and her desire were fighting. Lightly pushing Bekah’s loose hair behind her ear he looks deep in her eyes. She blinks trying to stay focused on her thoughts that she was leaving.

“I don’t know. My heart tells me one thing and my body is telling me another. And my mind says I should kill Rin for even taking me tonight.” Bekah looks down and notices how close their bodies are.

“Who’s Rin?” Jon pulls her body even closer.

“My best friend. Redhead I was sitting with. Her husband is the trainer, Derek.” Bekah breathes out.

“So that’s who I have to thank?” Jon runs his fingers over Bekah’s arm and across her collarbone pulling her chin up to look back at him. “I won’t make you stay but I also don’t want you to leave. No expectations is true. We also can do whatever here tonight and then you don’t have to see me again if you don’t want to.”

“One night stands aren’t my thing...well...actually I’ve never had one before but I’m assuming they aren’t.” Bekah’s admission makes Jon laugh which she feels throughout her entire body.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be a one night thing...and I’m not a one night stand person either Beks. Can I kiss you and start from there?” Jon’s thumb runs across her cheek and he feels the twitch pulsating from his briefs.

“Yes.” Bekah hardly spoke before Jon’s lips were on her’s and she deepens it as she stepped into him placing her hands in his chest clutching at his shirt. His hands coming up and holding the small of her back and the cradling her neck. She felt him growing between their bodies. Breaking for air Bekah huffs out, “How do I turn you on?” The admission was self doubt about how average looking she felt and how damn sexy he was.

“Beks, you are fucking gorgeous!” Jon kisses her again and she shakes him off. “No really. Distracting as hell when I was trying to be a captain of the team tonight. Please tell me you aren’t sitting that close tomorrow. My team needs to win this thing.”

“You think I’m gorgeous?” Bekah fumbles on the words before Jon’s lips were on her again.

“Yes, and I’d like to show you how gorgeous you are if you just stay.” He starts shuffling their attached bodies towards the bedroom.

“I’m not doing the walk to shame tomorrow.” She starts moving her feet with his.

“You can borrow sweats so I’m guaranteed to see you again.” With that Jon placed her body on the bed. “Now can we get rid of some of these clothes?” His finger tips run along the inside of the hem of her sweatshirt. The slight nod she gave him was enough for him to discard both of their shirts. He made his way down to his knees pulling her jeans off slowly leaving Bekah in her light blue matching bra and panties. The sight made him jump into action. “Fuck you are even more beautiful.” She bats her eyelashes at the compliment.

“You are very...very....fit.” She runs her hands down his abs and he chuckles. “Handsome. Well both. Damnit I’m bad at this. I’m sorry.”

“You aren’t and don’t be.” Jon pulls her leg up and kisses down to her knee pulling his sweats off with the other hand. Her eyes widen when she sees how stained his boxer briefs are. “See. Definitely doing something right.” He nips at the meaty part of her thigh and she flops her body on the bed. “Does that mean I can continue Beks?”

“Yes.” She places her hands over her face as Jon’s fingers pull at her panties moving them down her legs exposing her core to him. He kisses back up and lands on her clit. Bekah moans out of the relief and Jon laughs while moving his tongue to elicit more noises out of her. His fingers slide in and curl causing Bekah’s hand to fly up into his hair.

“Tell me if you don’t like something, m’kay?” He pulls up to move her legs onto his shoulders and her body further into him.

“It feels amazing. It’s just been awhile.” She admits as he continues his pumping in and out while scissoring his fingers to stretch her out.

“We’ll go as slow as you want. Promise.” He kisses her clit again and sucks causing an orgasm to rip through Bekah’s body. She moans out his name and he moves away.

“Don’t stop. Fuck. Don’t stop.” She lifts up to look down at him. Face glistening and a look of accomplishment from how quickly he was able to make her come unglued.

“So maybe not that slow.” Jon returns to licking through her folds and is stopped by Bekah’s hand tightening in his hair.

“Can you...I don’t know how to...never mind.”

“No, talk to me. Sex is better when you talk. Where to you want me?”

“Inside of me. I want you up here.” Bekah feels the heat returning to her face as she made her request. “Unless you want me to...” she eyed his briefs again as Jon stands.

“No, I definitely want to fuck you now.” He climbs onto the bed and pushes both of their bodies up the bed freeing himself of the last piece of clothing. “May I?” He pulls at the strap of her bra and Bekah arches her back to allow him to pull it off with easy. Kissing her breasts and then her lips Jon grunts. “Ready?” He leans up as she nods for him to inch into her core. Bekah’s back arches as Jon lowers himself inside. She would never admit to anyone how long it’s been since she’s had sex and it felt so good to have his weight on top of her. Bekah wraps her legs around him and Jon finds a rhythm that makes both of them moan with each thrust. Then it happened. Both reaching their highs in unison. A slew of swears mixed with praises drop out of Jon’s lips then he collapses on top of Bekah.

“Wow. How did that happen?” Bekah huffs out while her fingers run across Jon’s sweaty shoulders and across his lips.

“How did what happen?” Jon’s chest moves in and out trying to even his breathing.

“We...together...” she breathes out.

“You’ve never climaxed with someone? Together?” Jon pulls up and takes in Bekah’s blissed out yet confused look.

“I’m just gonna shut up now.” Bekah’s hand flies over her eyes.

“No. Remember, sex is better when you talk. And we aren’t done.” Jon moves her hand and flexes his abdomen sending shock waves through Bekah’s body.

“So, no.” Bekah whispers. “I’ve never orgasmed at the same time as my partner. That was amazing feeling. You are amazing.”

“You are too. Trust me. Fucking amazing.” His lips ghost her skin as he rolls off of her. “Beks, so good.”

“You are the only person who has ever called me that which is funny.” She kisses the top of his head as he rests on her chest.

“Yeah. Why is it funny?” His fingers walk down her hip.

“Because I do the same thing. Make up nicknames for people.” He laughs at her admission. “Rin for example is Brynn. I’m the only person who calls her Rin. Not even her husband calls her anything besides pet names and Brynn.” Jon feels Bekah’s body relax and he smiles.

“And do I get a nickname then?” He kisses her stomach.

“Maybe. It’s more of an organic thing. With time.”

“More time. I see. Then can you come back here tomorrow too? After the game?” He looks up at Bekah.

“Yeah I guess that would make this not a one night stand, huh?” Bekah’s lips turn up and Jon laughs loudly.

“Yeah.” He rolls her over on top of him. “Definitely not one at all.”

#what’s in a name fic #WIAN #tazer me 19 #j toews fic #jonathan toews fic #jonathan toews

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tmntgirlie · 4 years

Text

Saviors in a Half Shell 5

“Let me get this straight. You guys were the ones who really saved the city? Twice?”

The commotion had made national news headlines for weeks years ago. The most recent occurrence was five years ago, way before Y/N had made her way to the city.

It was the sort of thing that led to many online conspiracy theories, but none of them had any solid evidence. The media led people to believe it was a man named Vernon Fenwick, who had subsequently called himself ‘the Falcon’.

How obnoxious.

“We knew we wouldn’t be accepted by the general public, and he just so happened to be working with us- it made sense,” Leonardo shrugged.

“People are so gullible,” she snorted. She shook her head. “Even I had a feeling he couldn’t have taken that thing down without help. I mean, one man? Unless it was dumb luck. I’m still trying to understand why someone wants to take over a city. A single city. What, turn it into his kingdom? He knows there are bigger and better cities out there, right?”

“Bigger and better? Oh, man! We have been so busy saving this city, we haven’t been able to finish our hip-hop Christmas album!” Mikey couldn’t have sounded more pitiful.

Y/N laughed. “I’d love to hear you guys try to rap Silent Night. Ninjas and all.”

Right as Michelangelo opened his mouth to give her a proper demonstration, he was pushed over by his red-banded brother.

“Someone’s a party pooper.”

“I just spared your eardrums,” Raph said, looking quite pleased with himself.

“What a sweetheart,” Y/N said through a snort. These guys were definitely brothers, the way they treated each other.

“Speaking of sweethearts,” Mikey grinned. “What are you going to do now? Now that you know us and all. You gonna stay here for good?”

“Mikey-” Raph growled.

Y/N just shook her head. “I have an apartment in Brooklyn I should probably get back to at some point. And a job.”

“Do you think you’re ready to get back to all that?” Leonardo asked her quietly. He still wasn’t sure what pushed you so far towards the edge- depression, that was pretty clear. Was there a more specific reason?

She shrugged again. “Have to sooner or later. It comes and goes. Good days, bad days, you know?” She looked around the room with a small smile. “Plus, if I go back to… All that, and I feel like it’s all going down the drain again- well, you guys make a mean cup of tea.”

The brothers looked between each other. It was obvious they all felt some type of way to hear that she was leaving. They had known this woman for less than twenty-four hours, and yet the thought of her leaving them left them feeling empty. She was one more human that accepted them for who they were. She didn’t run, she didn’t scream, she just accepted it.

“I took the liberty of adding our numbers to your phone,” Donatello said finally. “In case you ever need us for any reason.”

“Need a cup of tea, an escape, a friend-”

“-Boyfriend-” Mikey cut in.

Raph wasted no time knocking him over completely this time.

“I don’t think I could handle you, Michelangelo,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “You remind me of me when I was younger.”

Mikey got to his feet, dusting off his thighs. “How old are you again?”

She grinned. “Twenty-one, legal drinking age.”

He shook his head in confusion. “We’re older than you.”

“I really can’t thank you guys enough for this,” Y/N said, ignoring Mikey’s statement. “Especially you two.” She looked between Raphael and Leonardo. “Especially you two. And the Thai food of course.”

It felt like it had been an eternity since she left. It was almost dusk, it had really only been hours. Donatello gave her an extremely detailed map of the sewers, including the streets they followed, in case she wanted to come down by herself. They all figured she’d just ask for an escort, but in case she didn’t feel like it.

“And as soon as she comes into our lives, she leaves,” Michelangelo said through a dramatic sigh. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

“She’ll be alright,” Donatello said. “I added multiple suicide hotlines and therapists to her phone when I added us.”

“She can’t just stay here forever,” Raphael grunted. “She lives up top, she belongs up there. April and Casey don’t live their lives down here with us, do they? No, they live up top with the other humans.”

Leonardo stayed quiet. They were right- she belonged up there with the other humans. She had a job, an apartment, a life- they were just four turtles that lived in the shadows. They saved her from a mistake she couldn’t go back from. What she did now was up to her.

“Maybe we should check on her tonight!” Mikey said, disrupting Leonardo from his thoughts. “Don, you got her address, right?”

“You think I’d let her leave without knowing where to find her? Do you even know me?” Donatello let out a ‘pfft’. “I have her address, her workplace, her social media profiles.”

“Isn’t that going a little too far?” Leonardo said.

“It’s all for her safety!” Mikey argued, even though the question obviously wasn’t pointed towards him.

Leonardo sighed. “Fine. We can check on her tonight.”

He tried to convince himself it was for his brothers’ sake.

“Since you did all that research on her, might as well not put it to waste. Whadoya got, Donnie?” Raph asked as he plopped back down on the couch.

Donnie pushed up his goggles, more for effect than anything. They were quite literally strapped to his head. “According to all of her profiles, she was born in Iowa and moved here a year and a half ago. No listed family members. Says here that she works for herself, doesn’t say what, but I’m seeing a portfolio right here with a bunch of different headshots.”

Mikey made his way over to Donnie’s corner, squinting at the screens. “Maybe she’s a professional photographer. Do you think she could shoot the music video for our Christmas album?”

“I have a feeling it’s more of what’s in the picture that is her job,” Donnie said slowly. “My money’s on makeup or hair.”

“What do you know about that stuff?” Raph questioned.

“Hey, if it was a photography portfolio, you’d definitely see more variety than just heads,” Donnie replied, rolling his eyes.

“Too bad we don’t need a new hairdresser,” Raph snorted, running his hand over his bald head. “Alopecia right here.”

“We’re turtles, we don’t grow hair in the first place.”

“It was a joke, Don.”

“It wasn’t a very thought out joke.”

By that point, Leonardo was no longer paying attention to his brothers. He was no judge of skills with hair, but these pictures didn’t look half bad. Maybe he needed to pay attention to pop culture a bit more to understand. Was she dissatisfied with her work?

She hadn’t mentioned a roommate. He figured she lived alone. Leo recalled April saying how expensive it was to have your own apartment in any part of New York. She couldn’t have been that bad at her job to be able to live on her own.

His thoughts were disrupted when he felt his phone buzz.

Miss me yet? - Y/N

He frowned, looking down at the screen. It had only been hours.

You guys seriously messed up my sleep schedule, I’m wide awake and it’s almost nine at night. - Y/N

Oh yeah? Almost time for us to get to work - Leonardo

Ah, the night shift. Latest I’ve worked was probably until two. I didn’t want to even think about waking up the next morning. - Y/N

You work that late? - Leonardo

I had no idea this client was going to take me eight hours. We were almost sick of each other by the end of it. - Y/N

Maybe Donnie was right. He had no frame of reference for photography, but that seemed late. Did hair related things take that long?

I’ll let you get back to work. Maybe you’ll even save another damsel tonight. - Y/N

Let’s hope I don’t have to - Leonardo

He wasn’t sure his brothers could handle two humans in twenty-four hours. Mikey would go crazy.

“Leonardo? Earth to Leonardo?”

He bounced back into reality. “What did I miss?”

“Um, our entire conversation?” Mikey said, poking him on the shoulder. “It’s your head that’s in the clouds today.”

He sighed. “What, then?”

“April says she has a lead on the Purple Dragons,” Donnie said, turning towards them. “They’re hitting several spots tonight. We need to get going.”

“Alright, you know the drill,” Leonardo said loudly. “What are we waiting for?”

He didn’t have to ask twice.

Meanwhile, Y/N was settling back into her apartment. She regretted leaving it in such a mess the night before. It had taken her until now to finally get it straightened up enough to have company.

Not that she was expecting company.

She let out a small sigh as she placed a mug of tepid water in the microwave. She briefly recalled the events that ensued in the past twenty-four hours.

She did not wake up yesterday thinking she was going to get that close. It had taken all of her courage to even stand on that ledge. Heights were not her friend, ever since she was a child. Maybe it wasn’t the fear of heights so much as it was the fear of falling.

It didn’t make sense that it was her chosen method.

She shook her head quickly. No, those were not the kind of thoughts she needed. Not this soon.

Truth be told, it was hard to live in a city such as New York. It was so easy to get carried away with the hustle and bustle the city was known for. Even on her daily walk to the shop, she felt like a tiny speck in the big picture. Nobody gave her a smile, nobody even looked at her. It wasn’t what she was used to.

Hell, back in the Midwest, people smiled at strangers as they passed them on the road. They waved to people driving tractors, and were even pleasant if one was going ten miles per hour. But here?

If you so much as stopped on the sidewalk, you were given death glares and knew people wished you didn’t exist in that moment.

Maybe she wasn’t meant to stay here.

It was almost every hairstylist’s dream. If you could make it in New York, you really made it. It was a cherry on top if you ended up catering to hair shows, took on a sponsorship for various brands. If you made it in New York, you could even create your own line of color and hair products.

Two and a half years after gaining her license in hairdressing, it just wasn’t what she expected. The hair was great, that wasn’t the problem. The environment drained her. She wasn’t sure if it was worth the heartache.

But those four brothers…

“Maybe I should check in on them,” she told herself.

The microwave began to beep. She reached in to pull the hopefully hot water-filled mug and gasped when the ceramic burnt at her skin. No, she’d give that a minute to cool off, actually.

She glanced over at her phone, it was dangerously close to falling off the edge of the couch. Y/N made her way over and unlocked it with her fingerprint. As she did so, she quietly wondered how Donatello managed to get into it in the first place.

In fact, their four names were now listed as her emergency contact numbers. They were even color coded, not that she needed a reminder on who was who. She decided to text Leo.

Miss me yet? - Y/N

After thinking for another second, she sent another text. Hopefully they weren’t weird about double-texting.

You guys seriously messed up my sleep schedule, I’m wide awake and it’s almost nine at night. - Y/N

It wasn’t completely true, she didn’t typically go to bed until midnight or so. There was no harm in friendly banter, right?

She set her phone back down, on the counter this time, and went to check on her mug of hopefully no longer boiling hot water. Before her fingers even touched it, it dinged.

Oh yeah? Almost time for us to get to work - Leonardo

She looked at the message for a while, her mug of tea leaf-less water all but forgotten.

Ah, the night shift. Latest I’ve worked was probably until two. I didn’t want to even think about waking up the next morning. - Y/N

You work that late? - Leonardo

Did I ever tell them what I did for a living?

Not that it would really matter to them. They obviously didn’t need a beautician.

The hair thing, she was definitely referring to the hair thing. Turtles didn’t have hair. Not that she saw, anyway-

Y/N, I swear, they’re fuckin’ turtles. Of course they don’t have hair anywhere.

I had no idea this client was going to take me eight hours. We were almost sick of each other by the end of it. - Y/N

She remembered that night well. It was actually one of her first clients that she ever got since moving to the Big Apple. And boy, was this girl loyal. She bought product every time, tipped well, even consulted for possible wigs. Y/N wasn’t sure why she would want wigs, she had beautiful hair, but she wasn’t about to judge. That was money.

Plus, she worked for some TV station local to New York. This client was a dream client.

As soon as she sent the message, she groaned. He probably didn’t even care to hear about that kind of stuff. He was probably busy anyway. You know, saving the city.

I’ll let you get back to work. Maybe you’ll even save another damsel tonight. - Y/N

She had to admit, knowing she was the first person they’d saved in such a way made her feel special. Sure, it was the worst possible circumstance, but… In her mind, it was almost like fate. They were different, but they accepted her into their home so easily. They knew she needed help and didn’t hesitate to try their best. They gave her a safe space to sleep, away from her own world. It gave her time to clear her head. Maybe the meditating had something to do with it.

Let’s hope I don’t have to - Leonardo

For some reason, the last message didn’t hit quite right with her. It suddenly drew her back.

Just make some tea, Y/N. Light some candles. Deep breaths.

The last thing she wanted was to be a burden to these four new beings in her life she’d love to consider her first real friends in the city. She crossed her fingers that he didn’t mean his words the way she took them.

Candles lit, tea freshly brewed (and with a chunk of ice for good measure), Y/N settled down on the couch with an oversized blanket and decided to watch something on TV. That’d clear her mind.

“April’s hair does look so good,” she mumbled to herself with a smile, the first thing on TV was the nightly news. “Good job, me.”

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2k14 #tmnt 2k16 #adult turtles #reader insert #tmnt reader inesrt #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie #leo x reader #leonardo x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagines #leonardo tmnt #tmnt leonardo #bayverse tmnt #tmnt bayverse

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kerikaaria · 4 years

Text

If I Never Met You: Chapter 28

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff

WC: 2.7k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29

“Are you excited to see your boyfriend again, noona?” Jungkook cheekily asked.

“For the last time, he’s not my boyfriend,” I responded as I pulled into the parking lot.

“But you want him to be, don’t you?” Jimin chimed in.

“I’ve met him once, why would I want to date him already?” I really hoped their teasing would stop by the time we reached the filming set.

“Oh come on,” Namjoon decided to add his two cents. “You can’t tell me you don’t find him attractive. I saw those hearts in your eyes last week.”

“Yeah, he’s an attractive man,” I easily admitted. “But so are all of you. It doesn’t mean I want to date any of you.” I opened the car door, hoping they’d end the conversation there. The last thing I wanted was for them to continue this into the building, only for him or any of the staff to hear. But I also couldn’t make them late for their schedule.

Jimin and Jungkook found something else to laugh about while the four of us walked to the set, leaving me feeling relieved. But as we approached the door to our destination, Namjoon turned to me and flashed a mischievous smile.

“Well, your not-boyfriend is waiting by the door for you,” he said.

I looked a bit to the right of the door to see the person they were talking about leaning against the wall, looking at his phone.

“Hyung!” Joonie called out when we were close.

He looked up to see us approaching. “Hey guys!” he greeted, waving. “Nice to see you again.”

“We’re glad to come back again!” Jimin replied. “We had a lot of fun last week.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” their hyung who hosted the show said. “I have fun with you guys on set, too.” He then turned to me. “Nice to see you again as well, Y/n. I was hoping you’d be coming with them again.”

I shyly smiled. “Hi, oppa. And yeah, they finally decided it was better to have me here for it since most of the program is in English.”

“Oh, well I guess that means we’ll get to see each other more often, assuming BTS will be coming again next comeback,” he said.

“Oh, noona definitely wants to see more of you, Eric hyung,” Jimin said.

Eric raised his eyebrows at that and I turned to Jimin, an appalled look on my face. “You can’t go around saying things like that!” I smacked his shoulder. I looked back to Eric, chuckling nervously. “I meet you once and suddenly they’re teasing me and calling you my boyfriend. They won’t leave it alone.”

Eric’s expression relaxed and he laughed. “Well, we’d better get inside.” He held the door open for us, following us in.

This wasn’t the first, nor the second time any of the boys were coming to be on an episode of After School Club. They came here last year after N.O, shortly after their recent comeback with Skool Luv Affair, and Namjoon came on a couple times after that on his own as a guest host. Last week and today these three were guests again for the “After Show” episodes. I had secretly been hoping since we got them scheduled the first time to be able to come with them, but luck hadn’t been on my side.

Why did I want to come here so much? Definitely not because I am a fan of Eric Nam. Nope, that’s totally not it.

Okay, I wasn’t exactly subtle. And the boys all new it. I fell in love with his angelic voice when he released his first mini album, and I’ve been caught more than once jamming to his most recent song, Ooh Ooh. I was more than ecstatic that I was going to get to meet him last week. I would have been even more so if Kevin was here as well (I was also a fan of U-KISS of course), but unfortunately I’d have to hope to see him another time.

The boys chatted with Eric (luckily not about my non-existent crush on him) while we walked to the room where they’d read over their scripts before doing the rehearsal. When we entered the room, they all gathered their scripts to look over together while I sat on a nearby couch.

For a while, I sat on my phone to pass the time since there wasn’t really anything I could do at the moment. It didn’t take all too long for them to look over their scripts together – they were going to be doing a full rehearsal where they’d polish things out anyway. The whole entire show isn’t scripted, probably about half was so it was easier to piece everything together in a rehearsal.

There was still some time before the staff were ready for a rehearsal though, so once they all felt comfortable with their lines for now they turned to just chatting. Eric came over to sit next to me on the couch.

“So they’ve been giving you trouble?” He spoke to me in English.

I chuckled. “I mean, they just like to tease.” I continued the conversation in English as well. “They knew I was your fan, so they’ve been teasing me since even before we got here last week.”

Eric shook his head, laughing a bit. “I’m sure I said this last week, but I really do appreciate that, by the way. Not many people know who I am before I tell them myself. I was surprised to hear you knew about me from my debut album.”

“I tend to keep tabs on what’s going on in K-pop,” I said. “You have a wonderful voice, so it was easy to become a fan.”

“Thanks again,” Eric said, smiling sweetly. “Oh by the way, I was meaning to ask last week but forgot. Is it okay if we exchange phone numbers?”

“What?” I asked, not believing what I just heard. “You want my phone number?”

He nodded. “Yeah, if you want. You seem like a nice and fun person to talk to, so I was kind of hoping we could chat more. I think I have some friends you’d get along with, too. I’ve told Kevin about you and he wants to meet you as well.”

“You talked about me to your friends?” I absentmindedly handed him my phone when he reached his hand out for it.

“Yeah,” he responded as he entered his number in my phone. “Like I said, I think you’d get along with them, too. That’s why I’m glad that you came back this week, otherwise I would have had to ask one of them if they could give you my number.”

He called himself from my phone before handing it back to me with a smile. “Thanks, Y/n.”

“My pleasure,” I shyly smiled back. I looked over at the others who still sat at the circular table, and noticed Jungkook had his phone not so subtly pointed at me. “Jungkook, are you taking pictures of me?” I asked.

He slowly lowered his phone. “No, I was just looking at something.”

“Uh huh,” I made sure it was obvious I didn’t believe his lie. “What are you planning on doing with that?”

He flashed me that smile that was way too adorable and helped him get away with more than he should. “Nothing.”

Just a few moments later, there was the telltale notification coming from the group chat, and I could have guessed what it was without even looking. But I still did.

Kookie: Noona is happy to see her boyfriend again <3

That was the caption accompanying a picture of me and Eric smiling. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Jungkook, I swear I am going to take all your schedules away from you.”

He looked a little confused for a moment, before looking at his phone and then he had a look of realization. “Oh crap. I meant to send that to the chat without you.”

“Mhmm, I’m sure you did,” I replied. I quickly responded to the message, yet again insisting Eric is not my boyfriend and they needed to shut up.

Eric looked over my shoulder at the chat and laughed. “You got quite the handful to deal with there, huh?” He asked me in English.

“Yeah, you could say that again,” I responded. “Sometimes I regret taking this job.”

“Oh come on,” Namjoon said. “You know you love us.” He made a finger heart.

“And I have no idea why,” I said.

A staff entered the room to let us know that they were ready to start the rehearsal, thankfully giving an excuse to end the conversation.

The show filming wrapped up, finishing with a music video for VIXX’s Eternity (which I may or may not have been internally jamming to). We weren’t able to hang around after everything was done, so we didn’t really get any time to stay and chat with Eric. But I reminded myself that we exchanged phone numbers so I didn’t feel bad about that for very long.

“It’s a shame we can’t spend more of our schedules being on ASC,” Namjoon said when we were driving home. “I really enjoy being there. Eric is really cool.”

“Yeah, I think they are a lot nicer there compared to some other programs you’ve been on,” I responded.

I saw Jungkook nodding through the rearview mirror. “Well, at least we know we’ll get to go back after our next comeback right?”

“Hopefully,” I said. “It’s in the plans, but we can’t get anything scheduled until the comeback is all set to go. We still have to go to LA and finish up the next album first.”

“I’m so excited to go,” Jimin said. “Have you ever been there, noona?”

“No,” I responded. “I never really went on vacations, and had pretty much intentionally avoided big cities for the most part.”

“Seoul is a big city though,” Jungkook pointed out.

“Except for Seoul,” I laughed. “It actually helped me feel a little more comfortable with being in bigger cities. Before, they made me really anxious and I didn’t like it at all. But I’m a lot better now. Although, I’m still unsure how I’ll feel about Los Angeles…”

“I’m sure it’s going to be a lot of fun,” Namjoon said.

When we got back to the dorm, I was unsurprisingly practically dragged into the boys’ home before I can set foot in my own. I resigned myself to my fate, this having become a common occurrence.

I quietly sat in their living room, next to Hobi. He turned and smiled brightly at me. “Welcome back,” he said. “Jin hyung is almost done making us dinner, so you came back at the perfect time.”

As if he was summoned, Jin called from the kitchen. “Y/n! I need to have a chat with you, young lady!”

“Who are you calling young lady?” I asked as I reluctantly stood up. “Not only are you only three days older than me, but I’m your manager as well. So don’t you ‘young lady’ me.”

“You’re a ‘young lady’ when you’ve got yourself a boyfriend,” Seokjin retaliated.

“Oh my gosh, how many times do I need to explain that he is not my boyfriend?” I asked.

“They exchanged phone numbers today,” Jimin teased.

“Friends can have each other’s phone numbers,” I defended. “You guys act like you’re the only boys I’m allowed to have platonic friendships with.”

“We are,” Jin said.

“Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense,” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “What if I like girls?”

Jin turned around to eye me suspiciously, and a few of the others that were nearby gave me disbelieving looks.

“Yeah,” Namjoon said. “Because we totally haven’t noticed you drooling over male singers all the time. Like Eric hyung.”

I cleared my throat. “Well, either way. I can be friends with guys without there being romance. Like, I just met the guy. I’m pretty sure it’d be more likely for me to feel something for one of you rather than him.”

I realized way too late that my mouth ran away when I wasn’t paying attention. And everyone who was in the room gave me confused and teasing looks at that statement. Crap. “I’m not saying I do!” I quickly defended, waving my hands frantically in the air. “I’m just saying, it’s silly to think I’d be romantically interested in someone I literally just met…” The statement started strong, but got weaker as it went on until it was almost a whisper.

If the heat in my cheeks was any indicator, I knew I must have looked like a tomato. I wasn’t technically lying because I never said I did feel something for any of them, but I still felt like I did lie for some reason, which definitely made me feel nervous on top of being embarrassed. And I was doing my absolute best to not make eye contact with any of them, especially not him.

I stared at the ground as I walked back into the living room, hearing playful laughter behind me as I made my escape.

“You know we’re just teasing, noona,” Jungkook said, wrapping his arms around me from behind and still laughing. When I didn’t really respond, he let go and turned me around to face him. “You do know that, right?”

I offered him a smile. “Yeah, of course I know.”

My smile must not have been super convincing though, because he frowned in return. “If it’s too much, we’ll stop. I’m sorry, we’re overwhelming you aren’t we?”

I hummed, thinking for a moment. “Maybe just a tad?” I admitted.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” Kookie said. “I know there’s nothing going on with you and Eric hyung, don’t worry.” He pulled me into a proper hug.

“Everything okay, noona?” Jimin asked, placing a hand on my back.

I smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m alright. Sorry about that.”

“Time to eat, guys!” Jin called from the kitchen.

After eating together, he pulled out his phone and looked at the picture Jungkook had sent in the chat one more time. It was obvious that everything they all had been teasing her about the last week with Eric was just that – teasing. But he couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy. She looked so happy with him in the picture.

He knew it was silly to feel jealous of someone who she obviously wasn’t interested in, especially when he’s had the pleasure of seeing that same happy smile on her face as well. But until now, he only saw her happy like that around him or the other members who were like his family. Eric was a great guy, so he had nothing against him. But maybe there was a tiny part of him that felt insecure and worried that even though there’s nothing there right now, maybe something could be later?

He watched as she laughed with the others, glad to see that her moment of vulnerability from earlier was far gone. He decided to put his silly thoughts aside and include himself in the conversation, making a ridiculous joke. When his joke was what put that beautiful, bright smile on her face as she laughed, all of his concerns washed away.

“Hyung,” Jungkook called from next to him.

He turned to see it was him who he was referring to – seriously, the boy had six hyungs, he should be a little more specific. “Hm? What’s up, Kook?”

“You were jealous weren’t you?” the maknae whispered, smiling.

“Jealous?” he replied. “Jealous of what?”

“Come on,” Jungkook said, almost whining. “I know you like noona. You’re not exactly subtle at hiding it.”

He looked at Jungkook as though he just said that he killed his dog. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jungkook quietly laughed. “You’re cute, trying to hide it.” When he gave the younger a look that silently said, ‘I’m going to kill you,’ he stopped laughing. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything. Just know that I’m rooting for you.” He smiled again before turning away and talking to one of the others.

Great, the maknae knows. Good thing he already knew he was good at keeping secrets, because he would honestly probably kill the kid if he said anything. Well, let’s be real. Once he flashes that bunny smile no one could possibly kill him. But still.

Looking at her one more time calmed him down again, even if it did set the butterflies in his stomach to flight. Just as long as she kept smiling like that, he felt like everything would always be okay.

A/N - Finally, 28 chapters in, I narrowed the candidates down by one lol. It will sometimes be very subtle, but if you pay attention from here on out, you should notice the candidates for who the love interest is slowly dwindling :)

Also, sorry for the random change from using (Y/n) to Y/n. I decided I didn’t like the parentheses lol.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope @misohime @netflix-batman-sleep @smallbaby-cat @leitholdwithlove @ramyagovindraj @leesalts @rjsmochii

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged! And also feel free to leave comments or send asks to just talk to me!

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pochapal · 3 years

Note

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking:

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3.

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it.

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with.

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

#Anonymous #long post #read all of this if you have vested interest in knowing intimate details about my life or whatever

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ohmygoodnessgraciouss · 5 years

Note

Helloooooo! I have recently discovered your talented self. Very sad it wasn’t sooner. Saw your post about requests and decided to check out your work. AND I AM IN LOVE 😍. I was wondering if I could request a Jason Todd x reader because Jason is bae. The reader is a famous singer and named a song after him (like Ariana grandes Pete Davidson). Hopefully you can work with that. Love you babe❤️

Masterlist

Hello! Aw, this was so sweet of you!! Honestly, I haven’t been on for long at all! Maybe a year at most lol. Even then, I don’t think any of my fanfics really started until back in January! But still, thank you so much for the sweet message! I could definitely work with your request and I hope you like it!

Chosen Song (I thought it worked for Jason, but you can always just replace it with a different song. It won’t matter): Unconditionally by Katy Perry

Fun fact: Unconditionally was one of my favorite songs when it first came out and as a smol child I was super annoyed that it never went as big as Dark Horse or Roar.

Words: 1762

"Are you sure it's alright?" Your boyfriend, Jason asked as you waved him off.

"I'm perfectly fine with it, Jason. You have a job. You have to go get Sionis before he hurts someone again. You've been to every other concert I've had in Gotham this year. Work on your own job. It'll be okay," You reassured him.

You, Y/N L/N, were considered the Queen of Pop to the world. You took the world by storm, performing in front of millions after starting your career in only a year. You conveyed your emotions so well in your songs that everyone could relate to them or understand what you were feeling. Well, they could understand everything except one thing.

You lived in Gotham City of all places. It's considered the country's most crime-ridden city. Every other singer you've talked to from Camila Cabello to Ariana Grande preferred the romantic cities in France and Italy to find inspiration for their songs. Not you though. Gotham City was home to not only the Dark Knight but your boyfriend, Jason Todd. Who coincidentally worked for the Dark Knight.

Your jobs conflicted with each other constantly. Sometimes you wouldn't see each other for months because of how busy you'd be. You didn't mind, and you trusted him just like how he trusted you. You were grateful for the few moments you could share with your boyfriend.

Every once in awhile though, Jason couldn't come to see you in concert. Unfortunately, one of those times was now. You were disappointed by it, but you weren't mad. He had his own job and it mattered more than a single concert. Maybe Bruce and the others could come along.

"I'll try to make it if I can, even if it's only for a few minutes," Jason replied as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You smiled up at him.

"Let me know if you're there then. I have a little surprise if you're able to show up. I've been working on a little song with Perrie. She was able to help me with the music, but the lyrics are all mine."

"I'll text Ryan if I can make it. If I can make it at any point it'd probably be in the first half-hour, so you can expect me around then." Ryan, your manager, always made sure to tell you if Jason made it to your show after you finished a song. He was practically an older brother at this point.

"Sounds like a deal."

"You guys are so energetic tonight, I love it!" You yelled into the microphone as thousands of fans cheered you on. From young teens to their middle-aged parents you could see people cheering you on while they had their phones in hand. Some of the lights were almost blinding because they were close, but they didn't compare to the ones that were constantly shining in front of you for the shows. You could feel the adrenaline rush as you always did during a show as you scanned the crowd for Jason quickly.

Ryan told you that he was here by some miracle, but he could only be there for a few minutes. It was just enough time to perform the song. You spotted Jason right in front, smiling up at you. You grinned at him and winked as you looked up to the crowd that roared in delight.

"Alright everyone, I have a little surprise for you," You paused for a moment as everyone cheered. "I'm currently working on another album, but I have a song ready for you guys to hear first."

Their screams and yells would make you deaf if you didn't have earbuds in. You didn't care though. You loved the high that came from it all. It was exhilarating.

"This one is dedicated to my lovely boyfriend who is currently here. He's helped me through everything and I can't thank him more for all that he's done," You smiled at him. The crowd cheered when you smiled at him.

As they started to quiet down the music began. It was much softer than the other songs you've already done. The crowd listened in quietly as Jason watched with intrigue.

Oh no, did I get too close oh?Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?All your insecuritiesAll the dirty laundryNever made me blink one time

He didn't expect you to go so in-depth especially so quickly into a song. Jason didn't mind it a single bit though. You weren't hiding anything in the song. He wasn't surprised. You tended to write about anything that went through your head.

You started writing this song when you were up at 3 AM waiting for him to get back. You had inspiration for no reason at all in the middle of the night when you were looking at a few old photos on your phone. They reminded you of the days when he'd push you away early on in your relationship. He was worried back then that you'd leave because of his past. After his parents, Bruce, the Joker, he didn't want to keep himself vulnerable to anyone. You kept going though. You wouldn't let him become a hermit crab.

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyThere is no fear nowLet go and just be freeI will love you unconditionally

You could almost see Jason's eyes light up slightly as you were singing. You could barely hear yourself from the awes that were going through the crowd. The phone lights were blinding now, so you could only see a few people in the first row for the most part.

Come just as you are to meDon't need apologiesKnow that you are all worthyI'll take your bad days with your goodWalk through this storm I wouldI'd do it all because I love you, I love you

Jason couldn't even think about what he had to do later that night. He was enchanted by your song and your voice. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, no doubt it was Roy asking if he'd be there soon.

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyThere is no fear nowLet go and just be freeI will love you unconditionally

So open up your heart and just let it beginOpen up your heart, and just let it beginOpen up your heart, and just let it beginOpen up your heart

The lights started to dim as the music slowed and quieted for a moment. You were working with Ryan all afternoon to have the performance perfect if you could do it. The one thing you've learned from your shows is that the lighting changes everything. You trusted the technicians with it almost every time, but you asked for this specifically.

Acceptance is the key to beTo be truly freeWill you do the same for me?

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyAnd there is no fear nowLet go and just be free'Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh yeah)

The music faded away into nothing as the people started screaming for more. You smiled at them, but your eyes were focused on Jason's reaction.

Jason looked up at you like you were the only thing that mattered. You were beautiful, standing up on stage, doing what made you happy. You were panting slightly from the performance, but that's not what mattered. What mattered was that he knew at that point that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

Later that night Jason made his way into your shared apartment. He placed his keys in the basket next to the door and headed towards the bedroom, planning to be quiet so you could sleep. Instead, he found you wide awake on the bed, checking your phone. You were under the covers and it looked like you had tried to sleep several times, but it was impossible.

"How did it go with Sionis?" You asked him as he went to go change.

"It went well, actually," You could detect the sarcasm quickly. "I referred to him a nice place to stay at for the night since his place was destroyed by some freak accident. He's not too happy with it since it has metal bars on the windows, but he doesn't have much of a choice." He turned to sit on the bed next to you. You smiled. "How did the concert go?"

"Well, the crowd practically lost it shortly after you left. They were really sweet about it all, but I think nothing else mattered after that to them," You laughed while he chuckled.

"Nothing else mattered for me either. That song was beautiful. I'm glad I was able to see it," He complimented you. You blushed slightly.

"I wrote it while we were in Paris. Do you remember that time you called and you had a heart attack because you realized it was three in the morning for me?"

"Of course. I got an earful from Ryan the day after. Not to mention Dick found out about it and decided to be a himself about it," He said, using Dick's name as a play on words.

You laughed slightly at the memory, remembering when Jason ranted to you about it shortly after you were home. "I couldn't sleep after that, so I started writing. I wrote about anything that came to mind which meant I wrote about our memories. I figured you'd rather not let the whole world know about it all, so I decided to stick with that song."

"Then I should tell you exactly what I thought of it." He wrapped his arms around your waist to bring you close as he laid down.

"And what did you think of it?"

"I thought it was absolutely beautiful, and I don't know what I did to deserve you. I don't think I could thank you in words alone. However, with your permission, I could thank you in another way," He winked.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking then?" You asked him, grinning slyly.

"I must be," He replied, almost visibly showing that he was getting excited for what would be next.

"Then a delicious breakfast would be the perfect way to start the morning tomorrow, thank you." You kissed him on the tip of his nose before turning around to your side, facing away from him.

You could feel his shoulders slump before he chuckled. He spooned you and kissed the top of your head lightly. "I love you," You heard him say as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you too."

~I will love youI will love youI will love you unconditionally~

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #x you #batman #dc #comics #bruce wayne #robin #nightwing #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #gotham #gotham city #joker

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molly2140 · 4 years

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I feel like showing off my vinyl collection, feel free to show me yours!

I'm an avid 70s/80s/90s collector, and deeply wish I could've been alive for all of that, most of my vinyls are 70s/80s, some older, some newer. Some are 100% vintage, others are newly made/released. My dad (who brought me up on literally everything 70s and 80s) got me a record player for Christmas and helped me start my collection, since then it's grown rapidly.

First I must show off my RDR2 vinyls, with Marty Robbins' "Gunfighter Ballads", his songs are perfect to listen to while playing RDR2, "Big Iron" being one of my favorites.

Dad got me all 3 of my Queen albums for Christmas, as he knows that Queen is perhaps my favorite band of all time, I've been trying to find vintage vinyls of their albums rather than the newly remade ones, haven't had much luck yet but we will get there. :)

Did I mention that my dad and I are diehard Gordon Lightfoot fans? "Summertime Dream" and "Sundown" are perhaps my favorite albums. Lightfoot's song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" holds a special place in my heart. While the song is based off of a true story, about the tragic sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior, this song has a deeper connection with me. My dad, my Uncle Rob, and my Uncle Rodney, they loved this song so much, they would sit and listen to it on repeat for hours and hours mesmerized by the story that it told, along with Lightfoot's iconic voice, and the instruments itself. This was their group song essentially. Unfortunately, on July 25, 2019 (a year ago this coming Saturday), my Uncle Rodney lost his battle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), he was only 49 years old, a year younger than my dad. It was something we would never expect happen to any of us, let alone him. Uncle Rodney went out of his way for everyone, he'd help everyone whenever he could and would never ask for or expect anything in return. He put his family first, he loved and cared for his kids the best he could, he worked his ass off hand crafting furniture out of cedar wood, and adding onto his home and designing it just the way a true country boy could ever want it, he was dedicated to his job, his family, and his friends. Hard to believe it will be a whole year this weekend, not a day goes by where I don't think about him, he was like a second dad to me, and I greatly wished that I'd had more time with him, especially hugs, he gave the best hugs.

However he'd want me to carry on and continue to be happy, and it was hard the first few months after he passed, I went into a depression spell, and starting coming out of it in February, and then I met the man who is now my boyfriend. I don't know if it was just coincidence, or if Uncle Rodney had a hand in all of it, but I shit you not, my boyfriend reminds me so much of him, including my dad. My family absolutely loves him and has taken him in already, and I've never been this happy. But alas, this isn't supposed to be my life's story, but some of these records mean so much to me, and Lightfoot's records will forever hold a special place in my heart, for the very sole reason you just read about.

Moving on! These are some great records I found on a clearance rack at a record store, all under $5 a piece! My grandpa is a huge John Denver fan, so he very much appreciates it when he stops by our house and hears me blasting that album from my room haha. My boyfriend loves The Oak Ridge Boys, and let me tell you, he can sing the oom poppa mow mows in the song "Elvira" perfectly, and I melt everytime haha. Rosanne Cash, her music gets played constantly whenever we are having a party at my Uncle Rob's house, so when I hear her voice, it makes me want to go down there and have a great time. The Outlaws, I only recently discovered them but I really enjoy this album in particular, "You Are the Show" is perhaps my favorite song on the album, I sing this one a lot no matter how terrible I may be at it, I can't help it lol.

Ah yes, more classics. My dad really enjoys when I decide to blast my CCR album (a birthday present from my boyfriend). "Fortunate Son" is probably my dad's favorite CCR song, and it is definitely his theme song. Boston and Molly Hatchet are two of my other favorites for sure, including Chicago, it has been awhile since I listened to them, but they sure are fun.

Oh these three here I love talking about. I mean, who doesn't love Footloose and Dirty Dancing? The Footloose record is vintage, the Dirty Dancing one is a newly released version, but I ended up buying it anyways as the record itself is that purple color of awesomeness. The Quiet Riot one I found at an antique store, my favorite album of theirs, and because it's a picture vinyl, I had to have it. It looks kickass watching it on the record player.

Any Fleetwood Mac fans? My witchy sisters, this is our music. I can actually sing Stevie Nicks pretty decently, my boyfriend absolutely loves it when I do. "Tango in the Night" is my favorite Fleetwood Mac album, I listen to this record religiously. Once I listened to it on repeat for about 3 days straight, and my dad eventually had to tell me to switch to a different record because he was ready to hear some other great music 😂 The song "Twisted" which Stevie sang with Lindsey Buckingham, was part of the 1996 movie "Twister" with Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt. My favorite movie, and my favorite Stevie Nicks song, might I also mention that I'm a weather nut and also studying for a degree in meteorology? Yeah, I also chase tornadoes, hence why "Twister" is my favorite movie.

And last but not least, these two little guys. Tiësto is perhaps my favorite DJ of all time, his classic hits and even the new ones, always give me such a vibe that is so enjoyable. My favorite mix of his? "Silence" by Delerium with Sarah Maclachlan, this was one of Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise" mixes, and I still get absolute chills hearing it.

Oh yes, I forgot to add, a bunch of the vintage vinyls I bought, I got at Guestroom Records in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma while I was there back in May. They have a giant clearance section with records under $5, and of course they have all the newly released music, and even full collection sets. My favorite part? They also have a beautiful kitty cat that lives at the store and he/she is such a lovely kitty. So if you're in OKC and wanna buy some vinyls? This is your place.

So that's all of my vinyls I have so far! I hope you enjoyed seeing my collection, and reading about why they mean so much to me, I hope I didn't bore you too much with them haha. Again, feel free to show me some of yours! Tell me why they mean so much to you! :)

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quizmeghan · 4 years

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#12

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk - nothing worse than soggy cereal.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? love it!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? it used to be whatever was to hand but now I don’t use them and just remember the page number.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I haaaaaate coffee, if I was drinking normal tea (which is rare for me), i’d have it with a little milk and two sugars, but my go-to hot drink these days is lemon and ginger tea.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? i’m self-conscious about every part of my body.

6: do you keep plants? not even plastic ones.

7: do you name your plants? see above. but if I did have them, i’d definitely name them.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? does colouring in count? that or I dabble in writing but i’m not good at that and I haven’t tried it in a really long time.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? always!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? on my front with one leg propped up at a 90 degree angle hahah.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? probably just quoting movies alllllll the time.

12: what’s your favorite planet? pluto! i also kinda love Saturn? also quite like Jupiter and Neptune.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I had to get a bandage over my eye, but to hold it in place properly it was wrapped around my head and I laughed at myself as I was leaving hospital cos I could only imagine what I looked like.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? the flat itself? probably very high ceilings as they’re all like that here. I do like the idea of a more modern one that's like, loads of glass everywhere. i’d like a flat to feel quite spacious too.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! i’m too lazy to google and if I started that I would just read space facts all night, however I do know this one; if you screamed to someone next to you in space they wouldn't be able to hear you, as space is totally silent. you need air to carry sound vibrations, and there’s none of that in space. that’s mind-blowing!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? anything with pasta in it really. I am partial to an arrabiata though.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I miss it being purple. i’d like to have gone for some sort of aqua-blue in my younger years, but it’s probably just as well I didn’t - I hardly have any healthy hair left because I dye it so much.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I do stupid things all the time so there’s no really good example, but one that springs to mind is when I got my hand trapped in a bus door when I was trying to get off haha.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? no.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? I don’t have a preference.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my current favourite bag hasn’t really been to hell and back with me, but it is my newest one and I absolutely adore it. it’s a really nice shade of blue leather and the interior is like a baby pink colour, and it was a Christmas gift, and it goes perfectly with the majority of my outfits.

22: are you a morning person? not really.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? eat and watch Disney or Netflix.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yep.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I've never broken into anywhere.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? these days it’s just my one pair of skechers that I wore to work all the time. that or I have an older pair of ugg boots that I now use to wear around the house as a form of slippers.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I only really eat chewing gum, and it has to be blue extra!

28: sunrise or sunset? depends on my mood. right now i’d go for sunrise.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? on every occasion where I've gotten some good news (both examples here are for when I got accepted into college/uni courses that I've wanted for YEARS), she’s written me out a card - or a page on a notebook and sent a picture - and it has congratulations and little notes of encouragement on them.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. ok, here we go. I have many thoughts on this. socks must be worn at ALL TIMES when you are wearing shoes, and the only exception to this rule is if you are wearing flip-flops or something similar (and if that’s the case then your toenails need to be painted, but that’s a whole other story). i’ll NOT have this not wearing socks with trainers rubbish. I don’t really like socks being visible when you’re wearing trainers or boots (unless it’s the cut socks with boots that have the ruffles or something), so I almost exclusively wear those invisible socks. the idea of mixing white/black shoes with the opposite colour socks unsettles me greatly, but if they’re invisible it’s not as big a deal. odd socks didn't bother me when I was younger, but now they’re a giant no from me. and finally, fluffy bed socks are a necessity when you’re in your pj’s or loungewear. they are also the only acceptable socks that you can wear in bed; sometimes I wear them and sometimes I don’t, but I would NEVER wear normal socks to bed. I told you I had many feelings about this hahah.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. probably just drinking - we don’t tend to stay up that late unless we’re on a night out lol.

33: what’s your fave pastry? ngl, I love croissants.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my all-time favourite teddy when I was younger was a postman pat one that my younger sister ‘brought’ me when she was born. there was his black and white cat teddy too but that got lost when we moved house when I was 4. I do still have the postman pat one somewhere, i’m sure my mum kept it. other favourites of mine included a Quasimodo and an esmarelda but I don’t have them anymore.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Y E S. and i’m constantly buying more for college and uni. and i’m about to start teacher training and the stationary part of that job ALONE is enough to make it a dream job.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? I've been in a real 5sos mood recently if that counts?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I obviously much prefer it when it’s clean, however it’s the getting to that stage that I hate.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! people who don’t remove the labels from the bottom of their shoes. people who chew loudly or with their mouths opened (SERIOUSLY). those are the first two that came to mind and the thoughts alone are enough to rile me up so i’m gonna stop there haha.

39: what color do you wear the most? black or blue.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? my mum and dad bought me a pandora necklace; it’s a long black rope one with a large panda sort of charm/pendant hanging from it. I don’t wear it often. they bought me it when I graduated from uni in Edinburgh, and the panda is relevant because during my time there was the time that the two giant panda’s came to Edinburgh zoo. I always like that story.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? harry potter was the last one I (re)read (fu jk rowling), and i’m pretty sure the hp books are the only books I've ever reread so i’ll just go for them.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I don’t drink hot drinks, so no. although there is a starbucks in our local cinema and I always love going in there cos the folk who work there are lovely.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? myself.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ooft, I don’t think I've ever felt that.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes, they usually tend to be right.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. my dad is so bad for these so I should be able to think of something, but nothing’s springing to mind.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BANANAS. or even better - BANANAS on PIZZA. curse to hell the idiot who came up with that - that fucker should be burned at the stake.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? the ocean. and yes. the vastness and darkness of it all actually makes me feel physically sick. even thinking about it now has given me that sort of feeling of PURE DREAD in the pit of my stomach. and also sharks. just a massive nope for me.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I don’t even have a means of playing cd’s anymore, but the last one I bought was all time low’s new album wake up sunshine, which got delivered a few days ago. I already bought the album on iTunes, but I wanted a physical copy of the cd too.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? the only thing I collect (now) is concert tickets. before, I literally would keep every cinema ticket ever. I had tickets from films that were out in ‘06.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I thought of my mum and then I immediately thought of follow the yellow brick road from the wizard of oz because it’s her favourite film.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? all of the memes have been covid-related and they got real old real fast.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? literally, I've seen half of pulp fiction and that’s it.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my bestie.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? i’d only ever be dramatic in talking hypothetically, so I've never really carried out anything that could prove a point (that I can think of, I may be wrong), but I can get pretty dramatic when ranting so...

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? people’s laughs.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I don’t need to listen to it to know it makes me feel extra haha. and if you don’t dramatically reenact the lyrics, have you even truly listened to the song?

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? ok the wine mom could be one of two of my friends, because one really is a mother and could probably do with a few glasses of wine, and the other is just the mother of the group, and the remaining friend is the vodka aunt. and there’s no real reason, she just is the fun aunt who would buy her nieces drink when they’re underaged.

59: what’s your favorite myth? ohhh,that some people think humans and dinosaurs existed at the same time. HOW can that be true? these people blow my mind. also, one that we spoke about recently in college; that there is an autism pandemic. not true, we’ve simply come up with better ways and means of testing and/or diagnosing. many people diagnosed nowadays are adults who were misdiagnosed as children, and that’s a major factor in why there seems to be a spike. just interesting.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t really like it.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? the stupidest one I've ever given wasn’t really stupid but more funny, which was beard baubles for my dad at christmas, and one of the stupidest one I've ever received what a keyring which was one of those balls of fluff, but it had like, a small baby doll’s face in it. it was terrifying.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? either water or a little diluting juice.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I don’t have many of either, but they’re all alphabetical, by author/artist then by title.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? practically black as it’s nearly 1am.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yeh but that’s a definite no-go.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? there’d be some green, yellow, pink/purple, white, maybe blue. some daisy’s would be nice.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? depends on the season because if it’s autumn then I like it but if it’s summer then it sucks.

68: what’s winter like where you live? honestly? just the same as literally every other season - in Scotland you get four seasons in a day most days.

69: what are your favorite board games? I used to love this harry potter game I had which was similar to cluedo. anything that’s a quiz I like.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? noooooo and I never will. they’re also legit banned from my house.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? lemon and ginger.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? definitely.

73: what are some of your worst habits? being forgetful and clumsy.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. uhhh they’re fab and I love them, and physically they have naturally brown hair dyed blonde and blue eyes.

75: tell us about your pets! in my lifetime my family have owened almost 30 pets including budgies, fish, hamsters, cats, dogs, lovebirds and gerbils. I only have one living pet now who is an all black cat. we had a doggo who was the best doggo in all the land and I miss him so much.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? sleeping.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? i’m partial to some pink lemonade.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub. KING BOB!

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? probably a very nice or thoughtful gift.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re pink, and I have two large mdf boards which are a mint green. and I did choose them, just under a year ago we were decorating the house and I fancied a change. shocked me to my core tbh cos pink is definitely not a colour i’d have thought to pick, but the pink and green match in really well with the grey I have picked out for soft furnishings and my white furniture so i’m happy.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i’m not gonna do that i’m so tired.

82: are/were you good in school? I was, I still give myself a complex when there’s even the smallest possibility of rule-breaking.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? probably an all time low related one?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have five already, but I have a list of more that I want in my phone. they’re all mostly small ones.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don’t.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? the only one I think I've ever heard is pink floyd’s the wall, and honestly, i’m not fussed either way. I may have heard more but just don’t know.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical. everyone needs to understand the hype.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ...no.

89: are you close to your parents? yeah.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I like venice, London, Edinburgh but also Glasgow. got to have the hometown.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? literally fuckin’ nowhere except to and from uni. thanks covid for blessing us w your presence.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drowns. always drowns.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? messy bun. i’m lazy. if it’s down though I tend to curl it.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? oh, big plans. i’m gonna paint my nails and help my mum konmari her drawers and wardrobes. big, biiig plans.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? on my last laptop I procrastinated on them so much that they would forcibly shut down my computer and install themselves eventually, to the point where it would take over 7 hours to do it, until I eventually gave up on it. with my new one though I do it right away and it’s done in seconds. believe me; lesson learned.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? isfj; aquarius; slytherclaw (I was slytherin for years, and then was resorted as ravenclaw, and now every time I take one of those buzzfeed percentage ones, I get almost 25% per house, so I just chose to combine the two official sortings I got and be done with it).

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? wouldn’t say hike really, but last year at least, and I do enjoy that sort of stuff.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. safe, six feet under the stars, and weightless, all by all time low, reckless by youmeatsix, December by neck deep.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? if I went into the past I could fix a couple of monumental mistakes just to see if my theories of how things would have worked out are correct, but if I went into the future i’d with any luck be in my dream job so that’s a tricky one. the way i’m feeling right now i’d lean towards the past.

#12 #quiz #source: tumblr

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nguyenaustin3 · 4 years

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I wanted to post my thoughts somewhere...I guess here will do? Thoughts on folklore (tl;dr: I liked the album, was in love with some moments, but the album ENTIRELY, though the review Variety helped me understand the self-mythology of some of the songs, but I wrote all of this before that)...

Since the release of Red in 2012, Taylor Swift wrote her songs with the stadium in mind, for die-hard fans in nosebleed seats and Disneyland-colossal spectacles. The boy-next-door “Love Story” turned into cotton-candy-colored, “spelling is fun!” bridges to shout along with. Performativity became inextricable from her pop kingdom, and Reputation took it to the extreme, a spectacle of overcompensating bravado, with cryptic snake tweets and good-girl-gone-bad, “jailer”/”Taylor” posturing (uncoincidentally, it was also Swift’s first all-stadium tour). “I’m sorry, the Old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, ‘cause she’s dead,” she mic-dropped on “Look What You Made Me Do.” The plot twist revealed on folklore: Old Taylor is very much alive.

Lover was already a return to form of more mainstream-oriented, replace-edgy-with-kitschy pop, but folklore traces back farther in Swift’s history to her country roots: lyrics in the foreground with piano chords, guitar strums, and violin strings to accompany. Problem is, eight years have passed since her last “country” album, if Red fits that description; time has already taken its toll. With no rise-above-the-haters gimmick to sell, Swift has a difficult time filling in lyrical blanks. Instruments have started to rust, and an older mind doesn’t necessarily mean a wiser one.

Ever the innocuous pop star, Swift has always done her best to be G-rated for mass palpability, maybe even appeal. Only recently had the conversation turned PG-13, wearing her political beliefs on her sleeve and openly supporting the LGBTQ+ community (a bit too much?). Another now fleeting inhibition: her aversion to cussing. folklore is Swift’s only album to have two versions — clean and explicit — which works both for and against her. On “mad woman,” she knows exactly how to deliver a “fuck you” under her breath, the words gnarled and sharp. “the 1,” on the other hand, makes Swift sound like a trendy side character on Riverdale: “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit.” Swifties will be shook, others, especially those who already listened to Melodrama, underwhelmed.

When she’s not too busy expanding her vernacular, at times ironically (isn’t she part of the “Bitch Pack friends from the city”?), she’s searching for profundity in the fading and the fictional. “mirrorball” holds onto a partner’s waist and the head-on-shoulder intimacy of a prom dance. Love is a destructive force that upends generational wealth and mental health on “the last great american dynasty.” When Bon Iver joins the credits, exes become kingdoms romance no longer has the key for, and heartbreak a fray of wide-screen proportions.

At least, that’s what Swift wants listeners to take away. But most often than not, her narratives are hindered by slipshod lyricism, only occasionally going beyond empty aphorisms and reworded idioms sung in time for melodic filler. “High heel” tropes are recycled between songs, modified only by a superlative. YA novels become the source material for lyrics when Swift bats her eyes and tells her crush, “You….you’re not like the regulars,” a paraphrasing of You’re not like other guys. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is modernized into break-up bitterness and cynicism in “mad woman.”

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. “cardigan” stitches memories of lovers “dancin’ in your Levis” and “drunk under the streetlights” together for a tapestry of youth’s starry-eyed hope while “my tears ricochet” is a realization that taking the high road isn’t always possible when Swift admits her moment of weakness: “I didn’t have it in me to leave with grace.” The common thread here is unclichéd simplicity, which is a thin line that Swift can tread well, but not consistently. Too simple, and “peace” evaporates into the vague, easy-to-relate-to abstraction of “The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me.” Too cluttered, and “illicit affairs” seems more like clunky Wordly Wise passages more suited for Fiona Apple’s “Left Alone” than a Taylor Swift chorus.

When she announced the surprise release of folklore, Swift cited quarantine as the creative force behind her new project as other musicians, such as Charli XCX, had. “In isolation my imagination has run wild and this album is the result,” one Instagram post reads, but that revelation didn’t necessarily translate into sonic terms. While new names — mainly, Aaron Dessner of The National — have appeared in the credits, new sounds haven’t been found besides the fact that folklore is Swift’s unplugged album the same way Joanne was for Lady Gaga, at times predictable and lacklustre. “mirrorball” and “august” is shoegaze for people who didn’t pay attention to shoegaze before, which is another way of saying the two songs are “Lover” with reverb galore. Echoes of Sufjan Stevens’ “Mystery of Love” can be heard on “invisible string,” and most interestingly (read: weirdly), Caroline Polachek (specifically “The Gate”) could’ve taken a minimalist detour through “my tears ricochet.” Where’s Jack Antonoff’s headline from Melodrama and Lover now?

folklore isn’t defined by its male producers though; Swift still sings front and center. When she misses, she won’t find her dart anywhere near the bullseye or on the board for that matter. The outsider-looking-in, high school drama of “I hate the crowds” from “betty” won’t stir any hearts. But when she finds her story, the one only she can tell, the words become indelible: “No other sadness in the world would do.”

#folklore #taylor swift #music

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honestandsincere · 5 years

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Ethan doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the night he met her. It wasn’t particularly memorable in itself; he and Grayson were at a party in a penthouse apartment that overlooked downtown, Los Angeles. He did not want to be there.

Ethan isn’t much of a drinker and he wasn’t back then either. He cradled his solo cup of water in his hand as he looked out over the edge of the stranger’s balcony, watching tiny cars flash by. Grayson had promised not to drink, he’d said he wanted to stay sober just so he could drive his own car home. That logic seemed to be thrown out of the floor-length window as soon as he’d spotted the opened keg in the corner of the open planned living room. Ethan couldn’t blame him, they’d been under an unusual amount of pressure from their management team that month. Grayson was caught up in conversation with a photographer inside, devising some kind of photoshoot plan for the coming weeks. Ethan had listened for a few minutes before recognizing that maybe he was too warm to be inside the space with a ridiculous number of people.

He’d escaped onto the balcony for some air, mostly because he’d seen that it was empty, but it was also a gorgeously cool night in the metropolis. The stars’ brilliance was dulled by the mass projections of man-made light that streamed from every window of every skyscraper and every vehicle, but they were shining with luster nonetheless. Ethan’s exposed arms rippled with goosebumps in the chill air, the thumping beat from the speakers inside muffled by the thick layer of glass that separated him from seemingly the entire internet presence of California.

He was about to reach for his phone that sat in his back pocket when he heard the door open. Suddenly anxious, Ethan twisted around to see who had decided to join him. He was greeted by the sheepish grin of who he later discovered was y/n. She sent him a small wave which he returned with a soft smile. “You had the same idea too, huh?” he asked her. “Yeah, it’s too hot in there and whoever’s connected to the speaker has questionable taste.” Ethan chuckled and watched as she moved to stand beside him, her arms leaning on the railing of the balcony. He couldn’t help but fixate on her face as her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. The girl’s gaze danced over the concrete empire that surrounded them, her features illuminated by the glow of the city. “This is so crazy,” she breathed. “I know,” he took a sip of his water and looked back out in front of him. “Are you from here?” she asked, “LA, I mean.” Ethan shook his head with a gentle grimace, “I live here, but I’m from Jersey.”

She nodded her head as if she was locating the state on a map that had been laid out in her mind. Ethan took some time to let his eyes rake over her figure. She was stunning in the hazy lighting, her hair ruffled in a way that made her look effortlessly attractive, but he was almost certain that regardless of the quality of light she’d still be beautiful. She wore a little black dress that clung deliciously to her frame yet simultaneously made her look innocent and adorably harmless. Now he likes to think that maybe y/n had checked him out too, he doesn’t remember feeling particularly confident that night, but he knew he looked somewhat acceptable. “Do like living here?” she looked at him and he felt the warmth of her stare. “It’s good for me when it comes to work. Everything I could need is here.” “But do you like it?” Ethan laughed at her persistence, almost unable to comprehend her attentiveness. He hadn’t had to think properly in a while; everything was always planned out meticulously in front of him. He never had to second-guess anything or ponder anything that didn’t skim the surface of a profound topic of discussion. He and Grayson barely had time to talk to one another about anything other than business, waking up at painful hours of the morning to work and then crashing in the early evening. This girl had suddenly made him think. It was almost absurd.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” he shrugged. “That’s understandable.” “Do you live here?” “Jesus, no!” she laughed at him, her eyes sparkling. “I appreciate the city and its culture, but everything is so superficial. People don’t seem real here, y’know?” “I do,” he admitted, bewildered by her accuracy. Los Angeles is incomparable to his home, he couldn’t begin to comprehend their differences. “I’m y/n.” she reaches out a delicate hand towards him. He takes it in his large tattooed palm, feeling the softness of her skin on his, “Ethan.” “It’s nice to meet you,” she giggles at their prolonged handshake which only motivates him to squeeze her hand a little tighter. “You too,” he smirks as their grip remains clasped together.

It takes a trill of her laugh to get him to drop her hand. He loves the way it sounds, so obnoxious and brilliant. They looked at one another for a moment, just absorbing each other’s presence. Y/n had returned to looking over the balcony, basking in the intimidating hustle and bustle. “What brings you to LA then?” he asked her, “Since you said you don’t live here.” She glanced at him and he watched the way her eyes danced over his face, “Friends from school. They’ve all got jobs here now, on the internet.”

Ethan didn’t want to ask her who her friends were because he had no interest in them. She’d been around him for maybe less than five minutes and already he didn’t like the idea of her leaving. “You’re here alone?” y/n had questioned. “No. My brother’s in there somewhere.” “This not your scene?” Ethan chuckled, “Not really. I don’t drink and I feel like that’s the only way you can enjoy things like this.“ “You’re right. It’s a bit sad, isn’t it? That you need to get shit-faced to have a good time?” “It’s tragic.” She broke into a fit of giggles, shaking her head at the triviality of it all. Ethan laughed with her, she was so infectious in her manner that he couldn’t help but reciprocate. He was comfortable in their silences, which was a completely new sensation for him. Ethan’s life was based predominantly on filling silences, squeezing meetings or filming or shoots into every free second he had, but with this almost-stranger silence felt normal. “I just think everything’s a show,” y/n had told him, “I don’t think there’s one person in there that’s as happy as they tell everybody they are.” “It’s all very fabricated, everything’s a facade here.” “Oh, thank God you see it too!” she sighed, “You’re the first inhabitant of Los Angeles I’ve met to admit it.” “Guess I’ve never really settled,” he shrugged, “I don’t see myself staying here forever.” Y/n opened her mouth to say something but the sound of the door opening drew them away from their discussion. Ethan looked over his shoulder and was met by the dazed grin of his brother. “There you are, E!” he exclaimed, sliding the panel of glass closed behind him and taking a step out onto the balcony, “You’ve been gone for ages.” Y/n had pivoted around to look at their intruder, a friendly smile gracing her full lips. “Y/n, this is Grayson my-” “Brother, I’m his twin brother.” Grayson interrupted, his eyes drinking in every feature of the girl in front of him, a smirk on his slightly flushed face, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand and y/n met it with his. After a few firm shakes, he let her palm go. “It’s nice to meet you too, Grayson. You having a good time?” she asked, her cheeks turning visibly red. “Yeah, I guess. It was all good until someone skipped Loving Someone on the playlist.” “The 1975? You like them?” Ethan saw the way her eyes widened in sheer awe. “Course I do, who do you think I am?”

Grayson stood on the other side of y/n, meaning Ethan was slightly isolated from their conversation about the band’s latest album. Y/n was gesticulating wildly as they discussed each song in immense detail. Grayson watched her with so much adoration that Ethan felt sick to his stomach. He would have considered his brother’s look of unadulterated amusement at her unabashed enthusiasm kind of adorable, but y/n had struck a chord within him that felt as though they were the only two human beings on earth.

Grayson’s smile couldn’t have been wider and y/n’s genuine laughter following everything he said was incredibly salient. Ethan knew Grayson was funny; he was charming and witty in an innocently oblivious way and y/n seemed utterly enamored. “I just think Inside Your Mind is breathtaking,” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I want someone to feel that way about me, y’know? Oh and Mine! I love that song with an intense passion.” “Me too! I love how it starts all sentimental and classy sounding and then Matty turns around and says he doesn’t want to be with this girl?! That freaked me out.” Grayson mimicked her position of leaning out on the balcony railing so he was closer to her. Ethan wanted to contribute but he had nothing to say. “Yes exactly! I think that’s the beauty of the album, the fact that on first appearance the songs seem to be really cheesy but if you listen to them properly, you realize that it’s all a facade.” Ethan wanted to kick himself at the irony. This girl that had knocked the air from his lungs was now having the exact same conversation they’d shared with his brother. Except this time y/n was far more nervous, she’d desperately search Grayson’s face for approval as she spoke. Ethan’s brother was eating out of the palm of her hand, completely hypnotized by her mannerisms and the way she’d grin as he spoke, almost amazed by the fact they shared the same opinion.

“Ethan and I have been getting into some older music recently, haven’t we E?” Grayson had looked upwards to acknowledge his brother’s presence for the first time in what felt like decades. “Uh, yeah I guess,” Ethan shrugged, sipping his water to hide his grimace. “Really? Who do you guys like?” y/n studied Ethan’s features and he felt his pulse quicken. “The Bee Gees are great, obviously Earth Wind and Fire and then you’ve got the classic Tupac and Biggie albums that we picked up the other day.” he smiled down at her, almost embarrassed in her gaze. “I love the Bee Gees! My dad used to play their albums to me in the car. How Deep is Your Love will forever be unparalleled when it comes to love songs.” y/n exclaimed. “Yeah but what about the Beach Boys? God Only Knows? Surely that reigns supreme?” Grayson quizzed her. Then Ethan wasn’t graced with her attention, y/n eyes shifting to Grayson who stared at her with such reverence that Ethan had never borne witness to before. He wanted to join in their discussion, he wanted to talk to y/n, but the look of sheer helplessness in Grayson’s features stopped him from doing so. He’d never seen his brother so infatuated with a human being before, and he couldn’t deny that it made him happy seeing Grayson happy. “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he’d said with a tight-lipped smile before returning to the party inside and finding a quiet corner for himself.

It is impossible to refute the notion that Grayson is in love with y/n. It shines through everything he does. His smile is brighter whenever she’s around, there’s a spring in his step and his general vivaciousness for life is amplified. Y/n has become a regular fixture in the boys’ lives, integrating her way into their everyday.

Grayson had insisted that she moved out to Los Angeles after their relationship had developed considerably over the past few months. Y/n is now living with a friend and taking online college classes in order to pursue academia as well as Grayson Dolan and she clearly could not be happier. She’s in the twins’ kitchen almost every evening, cooking for them and asking them about their day of filming. She’s snuggled up on their couch every Saturday night, Grayson’s head in her lap as she cards her fingers through his hair while they watch a movie. She’s sprawled out on Grayson’s bed in one of his t-shirts, finishing an essay every Sunday morning whilst he’s in the gym. Ethan physically cannot avoid her.

He doesn’t want to. If anything, he loves that she’s in his house all the time. He loves her food because it’s exceptionally more edible than Grayson’s meager attempts. He loves her witty commentary on whatever’s playing on the TV, her face illuminated by the blue light of the screen. He loves walking into Grayson’s room in search of a lost sock and finding her pouting at her laptop. “E?” she’d ask him, “tell me if this sounds good?” Ethan has learned that even a heart that feels pain can be happy. He aches for y/n. Their wits match perfectly, their eyes make contact halfway through a conversation and he can’t help but grin at her. She’s made her way into his life and he loves it. Until he remembers why. Of course, he’s extraordinarily pleased for Grayson. His younger brother has honestly never been so content in his life. Work is less stressful because Grayson is so happy. Tasks that once seemed mammoth are now walks in the park with Mr. Infatuated; Grayson’s eager to finish projects early to get home to y/n or run to the store to pick up some flowers for her.

If there’s anyone that deserves to be the other half of y/n it’s Grayson. Ethan can’t fathom another human being that would take care of her the way his brother does. They’re so sickeningly sweet together; always wound up in each other's arms, stealing kisses and sharing whispers. He just wishes it was him. Ethan doesn’t want to think about what might’ve happened if y/n had never met Grayson. It’s weird how different things could be if he had chosen to stay inside, to kick up a fuss at whoever skipped a song and refill his plastic cup with more liquor. But Grayson isn‘t one for open protesting, saint-like acceptance with the instilled morals in him that tell him to rise above, so of course, he’d step out onto the balcony. The determinist in Ethan desperately wants to believe that there’s nothing he could have done to win y/n, that it had all been written in the stars, that he was merely a catalyst, engineering Grayson’s love life. Sometimes, usually after the clock has struck five minutes past two in the morning, Ethan thinks that it would have been better had he just not gone to the party. Grayson would have felt obligated to stay home too and consequently wouldn’t have stumbled upon his brother and the pretty girl with a dazzling smile.

However, if Ethan hadn’t attended that disappointing excuse for a social gathering he’d never have met y/n. She’s slowly become one of the lights of his life, his days and nights revolving around her. But with every glimmer of happiness she brings him, comes a sick thought of guilt. It’s bad enough loving someone who’s with someone else, let alone that second someone being your twin brother. Ethan and Grayson are close, there’s not one thing about his brother that Ethan doesn’t know and it irks him that he’ll never be truly honest with Grayson.

Ethan Dolan doesn’t ask for much, he’s not on the search for a new England. He just wants another girl to replace a person that’s irreplaceable. Maybe they were never destined for one another, maybe y/n and Grayson won’t last. But there’s nothing he can do to fight it.

At least she’s Grayson’s, he tells himself.

So here’s a little something to keep you going as I work on when the party’s over part 3! As I’ve mentioned before, schoolwork is kinda taking over my life, but I’m determined to try and post weekly as I have been recently. I hope you’ve all had a great day! Lots of love! - K x

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan one shot #ethan x reader #ethan dolan blurb #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan one shot #grayson dolan x reader #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins oneshot

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phonaesthemes · 4 years

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a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance? (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

#personal #long post #in which i ramble about myself a great deal #@padawanyugi

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taesthetically-bangtan · 5 years

Photo

BTS Social Media/ YouTube AU

< Pt. 31 >

*~*~*

Trying something different, below its supposed to be formatted like a transcript but whatever. Hope you enjoy

The live opens up with Jimin sitting on the couch, Taehyung’s dog laying next to him. He idly pets Yeontan as he scrolls through his phone, waiting for more people to arrive. He looks at the camera.

Jimin, excitedly: Good afternoon everyone! We’re gonna wait a bit more, probably until five (5) thousand people tune in or something.

He goes back to scrolling through his phone, Twitter to be exact. Jimin is retweeting a few of the questions he intends to answers.

Jimin: Alright! How’s everyone doing today? (Jimin stops and reads the comments) That’s good that everyone is doing good. (Jimin giggles)

Jimin once again looks at his phone, this time responding to his roommates recent text

Jimin, looking back at the camera: Ah, Taehyungie is jealous that he’s not here with me for this. Oh well, he chose to go on a date with Kookie. So incase anyone doesn’t know I’m just doing a random Q and A since my best friend ditched me for his boyfriend and all my other friends are busy.

Jimin fake frowns.

Jimin, turning to the small dog next to him: At least Tannie likes to hang with me!

Yeontan’s ears perk up. The pet stands, shakes his fur and jumps off of the couch, heading out of the room. Jimin sighs.

Jimin: Nevermind then.

He pauses, reading comments again.

Jimin: Oh well Jin Hyung is also on a date with Joo- somebody. And, um, I think Hoseokie Hyung is at work right now. Namjoonie hyung is busy and I’m not sure about Yoongi Hyung. (Pause) I’m sure he’s busy too. (Laugh)

Jimin picks up his phone and looks through his selected tweets.

Jimin: okay so the first question is from danceworld39, they ask what happened the other day on your live? Okay, so I went to the dance studio without telling my roommate, Taehyungie, and he freaked out. So he got all of our friends together to find me which is really sweet, let’s be honest, I seriously love the guy. But yeah so everyone was looking all around the city and I guess one of them realized I was live and that’s when Yoongi hyung came into the studio and the live ended. Sorry about that guys. (Rubs the back of his neck)

Jimin reads a few comments.

Jimin: yeah if any of you watched I ended up falling asleep after awhile and that why I never heard their calls or anything.

(Pause) Yeontan jumps back onto the couch, a small distance from the boy.

Jimin: Okay so next question is from... (pause) I’m sorry I don’t know how to pronounce this. But, um, the question says how did you meet all of your friends?

Jimin puts his phone down on his lap and leans forward, getting more comfortable for the long explanation.

Jimin: So I’ve know Taehyung since Freshman year of University. We were roommates and ended up having a few classes together so we got close pretty fast. And Seokjin Hyung is Tae Tae’s older brother and they’re really close so we obviously became friends through him. (Pause) I actually don’t remember how Jungkookie became our friend. (Pause) oh! So he did go to the same university as us but he’s younger so we didn’t have any classes together or anything but as I hope you all know Taehyungie has a gaming channel, mainly Overwatch and stuff like that. But yeah, they ended up in a match against each other and I guess they just liked how each other played or something. But, um, so they played a lot together and talked a lot and eventually we both ran into him on campus and yeah… we all started to hang out from there. Then they started dating and leave me alone all the time. (Pouts) Anyways with Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi hyung it’s an… interesting story on how we met.

Jimin opens his mouth to continue but there’s a knock at the front door. He jumps up.

Jimin: sorry give me a second.

He leaves the frame and returns a moment later, somebody in tow.

Jimin: I do believe we have a guest now.

Jimin sits down and a second person comes forward and settles on the couch. The comments start to come in much faster than before.

Jimin: Everyone say hello to Yoongi Hyung! Yoongi Hyung say hi to the viewers. (Gestures to the camera and open laptop)

Yoongi waves and leans back on the couch. Yeontan excitedly jumps on his lap and greets him.

Yoongi: what are you up to?

Jimin: just answering some questions. (Looks at his hyung) You’re welcome to join me.

Yoongi shrugs and continues to pet the small dog.

Yoongi: what are you answering right now?

Jimin: oh, um, just how I became friends with everyone. I was about to tell them how we met you and Joonie and Hobi hyung. (Yoongi nods, waving his hand to continue) Okay, so anyways, there was a showcase, which is how I would get graded sometimes in my contemporary dance class and it was at the same studio Hoseokie Hyung worked and (Pause) I think his students were also performing. But yeah, Hoseokie hyung invited his friends and they sat near my friends. And I think Hobi Hyung spoke to Jin Hyung, who then gave him my number. A few days later he messaged me asking to teach his students some contemp. dance moves and I really admired him because I followed him, like, everywhere. So I agreed and one thing led to another and he introduced me to Yoongi hyung (points to Yoongi) and Namjoonie hyung.

Yoongi nods, as if confirming the story himself. Jimin glances at him, shakes his head, and looks at the comments.

Jimin: is it strange that your friend with basically celebrities? Um, I don’t think so. I mean, we all kind of have a big following online but we’re still regular people. Like, yeah, hyung makes music and has an album, and I mean, kookie and Tae are basically professional gamers but we still goof around and fu- mess up in life. (Pauses in thought) Plus it’s not like we get recognition or bombarded on the streets so.. (shrugs)

Yoongi silently laughs next to Jimin. Jimin looks at him and playfully glares before looking back at his phone.

Jimin: I didn’t really save a lot of tweets so I guess we can just go off of your comments and if I see a tweet I like I’ll answer it, I guess. Feel free to ask Hyung questions too!

Yoongi glances at him and sits up, sliding forward to look at the small screen. They’re knees practically touching. Yeontan once again jumps to the ground and leaves the room.

Jimin: what are your celebrity crushes?

Both think for a long time. Yoongi perks up.

Yoongi: Scarlett Johansson (nods confidently)

Jimin glances at yoongi, still pondering the question. He seems hesitant, almost as if he doesn’t want to say the truth.

Jimin: Um, (pauses) I don’t know. I’ve never thought about this before.

Yoongi: we can choose a different one if you want. (Jimin nods) okay, uh, (long pause, both boys reading) (yoongi suddenly lets out a small laugh) taehyung is commenting very adamantly.

Jimin, rolling his eyes: go away Tae.

Yoongi smiles fondly at the boy next to him. He turns back to the screen and keeps looking for a question.

Jimin: Oh, favorite color. Easy-

Yoongi, serious face and monotonous: Black.

Jimin startles and turns to him, an unimpressed look on his face.

Jimin: hyung, stop trying to be tough and edgy. You were seriously cuddling a puppy ten minutes ago.

Yoongi huffs and mumbles under his breath words that are too quiet for the mic to pick up. Jimin giggles and goes back to the comments. As he’s looking, his phone rings.

Jimin, looking at the device: sorry it’s my mom, I’ll be back.

He once again leaves the frame, distantly, a door closing can be heard. Yoongi turns back from watching Jimin leave and awkwardly looks at the camera.

Yoongi: so (dragging out)... I guess I’ll answer any question you guys want to ask me specifically. (Pauses, rifling through the numerous comments) (mumbles) you all type so fast. You and Jiminnie Oppa bicker like a married couple. (Laughs) I guess we do, he’s just so easy to work up. (Pause) that sounds weird, sorry. How long have you known your friends? We all basically met in school, so five (5) or four (4) years. And then I met Jiminnie and his band of friends, um, two (2) months ago I think. (Continues to read the comments) you all got close fast? (Pauses in thought) Yeah I guess we did. I think Jin Hyung plans for all of us to take a (uses air quotes) family vacation (stops) when the summer starts. He doesn’t know where yet and I mean, I’m not against it (shrugs) could be fun.

Off screen a door opens but Jimin does not return to the room. Instead taehyung and Jungkook enter and sit next to Yoongi. He groans in frustration.

Taehyung, louder than necessary: Hello! We’re here to over take Jiminnie’s live! Hope you don’t mind.

Tae gives a blinding smile to the camera. Jungkook shakes in laughter. Yeontan comes running into the room when he heard his owner’s voice. Taehyung enthusiastically scoops the dog up and cuddles him. Jungkook joins in.

Yoongi, apologetic smile on his face: I think I’ll end it for Jimin. Um, thanks, I guess, for coming out and asking questions. Hope everyone had fun and that you have a nice night. (Smiles, cursor hovering over the end button)

Jimin, off screen as loud footsteps are heard: you piece of shit Tae, having my mom call for no reason just so you can-

The live ends.

#bts #bts jimin #bts jhope #bts social media au #bts taehyung #Namjin #taekook #vkook #yoonmin #bts suga #bts jin #bts rm #BTS jungkook #yoonmin social media au #namjin social media au #taekook social media au

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jeff-stillcoolasazombie · 4 years

Text

The Waiter and the Hotel Heiress - Chapter 3

Rating: K+

Length: 1554 words