#i was already introduced to michael tho i love him a lot

[fishymom-art]

i'm still on the first season but there are some tma episodes that aren't connected to the main story at all but are still imprinted in my brain aka my favorite episodes so far because they are so unsettling

no one asked, but here is the list heheheheh

MAG 3 Across The Street MAG 5 Thrown Away MAG 9 A Father's Love MAG 21 Freefall MAG 24 Strange Music MAG 27 A Sturdy Lock

PLEASE they are SO GOOD AUGH

#tma #the magnus archives #i was already introduced to michael tho i love him a lot

[0xeyedaisy]

I was bored and this is a very long post

I felt like rewatching some Tales From The SMP, rn I'm watching the Haunted Mansion, and I also felt like writing down things I find interesting abt characters or whatever, maybe some moments I liked, this is like me liveblogging, except very late and all in one post, there might be some mistakes but I'm too tired to fix em

The fact that all these ppl are Connor's (best) friends and they aren't popular

Also ppl probably already pointed out how this episode was set in the present time, the episode was streamed on march 4, tho I don't remember what was even happening on the smp at the time

Karl doesn't remember being invited, even tho Connor did invite him, also Karl just appeared in the room that didn't have any way of entering it

Connor appreciates Karl being here

Karl, about Francis: Doesn't he remind you of anyone you know?

Connor: Listen, I have a lot of friends in prison and he definitely fits the bill

Francis: Prison???

c!Karl canonically streams minecraft

Joey likes basketball, fav player Michael Jordan

Any friend of Connor is a friend of Joey, he seems to be a friendly guy! (Joey my beloved)

Greg is a nerd (Tho he thinks he's cool)(Francis also thinks he's pretty cool) and only came cuz a couple of ppl insisted upon it

The twins have a lot of milk on them

Connor says Porkums' been through a lot

Francis is a little bitch

Zachery suggested to eat Karl cuz he was walking on the table

Francis said to Rash "It's okay Rash, he didn't mean to forget you", as if Rash didn't get introduced to Karl, even tho he was the first to be introduced

Porkums believes that circles aren't real, only squares

Porkums: Let's do underage gambling! (Porkums for Las Nevadas anyone?)

The twins: YES!!!

Ash loves gambling

Gump stinks (Also he has been switching between a sleeveless shirt and a shirt w/ long sleeves throughout the whole episode)

Tho Greg thinks it's Francis who stinks

Gump took a shower last month

Karl thinks Gump reeks of alcohol

The moment alcoholism was mentioned Glatt appears

Ash says Glatt smells of cigarettes, Zachery says he also smells of bad decisions

When mentioned that Glatt has been dead for a while, Zachery whispered to Ash "Did we kill him?"

Zachery, looking at Karl and Glatt talking: Are they kissing???

Glatt says he reflected on how he was a president of DSMP (?) and read the bible, and now he wants to own a property and become a landlord

Porkums' hat (That Glatt is making fun of) belonged to his mother, meaning she might be dead, or not

Joey thinks Porkums' hat is kinda cool!

Glatt's legs don't work (sometimes?) and his bones hurt

Francis set very close to Glatt (Tbh this is the second time I'm watching this episode and I noticed that Francis might have a thing for Glatt)

Ash doesn't know how to play Duck Duck Goose

Glatt kept saying Duck Duck Go instead of Duck Duck Goose

Greg has been running around for like a minute now

Glatt got sticky knees

Porkums is 36, he got held back a lot (So did Gump)

Francis yet again was standing very close to Glatt

Ppl are being rude to Gump :[

Glatt asked if Gump liked enclosed areas where you can't see sunlight and Gump nodded, so I guess he does like those! Good for him

Glatt has been making a lot of money of off rentals, he also invested in bitcoin at a very early stage

Ppl started making fun of Rash's name and Porkums said to leave him alone

Glatt finds Greg attractive

Connor says there's no universal currency on DSMP, Glatt says they deal in cryptocurrency

Francis doesn't know what a government is

Glatt says he built the Mansion by hand

Connor has bad social skills

Glatt saying Bababooey and yeeting Connor into the depths of hell, I just think it's hilarious seeing Connor's name zooming down

Francis says to Glatt that he's awesome, Porkums calls him a simp

Glatt calls Francis handsome

Glatt throws a grass block on the ground and Francis immediately picks it up

After Glatt makes Porkums disappear Joey yells out "Porkums noooo!!" and Ash says he really misses Porkums, Zachary asks to get Porkums back, Rash (Tho it seems he's generally worried abt everyone, except Joey) also seemed to be worried abt Porkums' disappearance

c!Connor also canonically streams minecraft

Glatt seems to like Rash and Gump as he saves them both from death

Glatt feels bad for Gump, he says that Gump was like him at school, he'd get picked last (Glatt is projecting)

Ash accidentally kills Gump (He fell down the stairs), says that he gets mad sometimes

Gump dies again to the landmines

Zachery says that they should invest in landmines, Ash says he would like landmines for Christmas

Joey and Ash came last in the parkour thingy and Joey said he wanted to make sure that Ash was okay :,]

Francis helped Greg and Karl says they have a lot of "synergy" (?), Ash reckons they're dating

It's Gump's birthday!! Greg says that Gump only showers on his birthday, Gump says it's true (Even tho he did also say that he showered last month, maybe there was a special day)

They're taking a photo!

They're beating the shit out of Gump, it's the birthday punches

Francis is being a little shit (So are the other tbh)

I like how Ash and Zachary sometimes say hi to each other when they finish w/ parkour :]

Joey's full name is Joey Pop

Ash says that Porkums is his hero, Zachery agrees, then they and Joey say that they like Porkums and his hat!! (There are gaps in time between some of these lines)

Glatt loves Francis' mustache

They're now making fun of Joey's hat

Joey says he'll do a kick w/ his skateboard, Karl says that's not what jocks do

Railroad time!!

Francis broke the railroad

Even tho Zachery fell into the lava he didn't die

Glatt has taken Gump

Glatt: For the sake of the lore these are my pliers *Holds a pickaxe*

Joey's fav drink is water

I think Rash and Joey have some kind of beef w/ each other

Zachery fell into a hole and Ash immediately went w/ him and said "Just twin things"

Ash said "Doesn't Gump have kids?"

Karl: Oh, there's a lever? *Sits down on a bed* Now there's a lover

Then Joey sits next to him and Rash sits directly on him

Rash found a nether star and put it on his head and showed it to Karl

Ash for some reason can't bounce

Glatt says that he's changed and that he's better and the best landlord on the planet

Ash said that Glatt should double the rent (Which is 0 for this specific night), and Glatt loved that idea and said that he and Ash should do business together

Glatt called Greg a Lover Boy

Glatt choose Ash as one of the ppl who get yeeted to his lair, saying that he could teach Ash abt real estate and show him real estate tik toks

Ash keeps punching the air in Zachery's direction (DO NOT SEPERATE THEM)

Glatt choose Karl as the 3rd victim and you can hear Rash say his name in an upset tone

Francis sacrifices himself to be the 3rd victim

Francis is chosen to be the one to put the star (Mother fucker really said "Do you grace me with this honor Glatt")

Joey says that he loved Porkums and to stop making fun of him, he was a great guy

Francis calls them Dumb Hat Buddies

Rash and Joey are butting foreheads, they have beef w/ each other I'm telling ya

Francis: You'll be my buddy, Glatt :)

Rash and Joey seem upset about Francis getting yeeted, Joey says he misses his mustache

Glatt was also trying to get Ash, Glatt wanted to teach him real estate, but accidentally yeeted the wrong twin

He also accidentally made Ash disappear, but the kid came back unharmed

Ash is sad :[

Greg says that Zachery should've been named "Rash", so the twins would be Ash and Rash, Karl says "Maybe you should've told that to their Moms", meaning Ash and Zachary have two moms!!

I think Glatt just made a bottom joke towards Greg

Karl keeps telling Joey about liking fire (??? Is that, like, a thing for jocks to do or)

Karl tells Rash that he's strong and correct and Rash says that he has a strong urge to smooch Karl

Joey calls Greg a beast cuz he's good at jumping other cobwebs

Then he calls Greg an idiot cuz Greg was taking too long to jump other a hole

Ash can play piano, he told so Joey

A small part of the mansion has been overtaken by what looks like The Egg (There are a bunch of blocks from the nether), tho there's some green in it and there also was a spider egg in a frame

Karl says that Greg's and Francis' synergy was a lot more important than Rash's synergy, Joey says that Rash gets jealous a lot

Glatt: Are we friends, Karl?...

Karl:*Looks around in silence*

They are going into the lair!

Connor said that all the ppl who got sent into the lair are dead and Ash was saying "Wait..." in disbelief

They aren't actually dead

Porkums is teabagging Glatt's tomb where his dead body lays

Glatt likes being a landlord but he's also lonely

Everyone who got yeeted into the lair seemed fine w/ it and were having fun

Karl says that he hates everybody and leaves

Aaand that's it, I think there's some Inbetween stuff happening after all that but I'm tired and going to bed

#long post #very long post #I'm going to bed my body is in pain #Lateblogging

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

#🎭🎪 #lol #anonymous

[everyothermouse]

Hmhm I love you I love the au u made I need the p l o t but I don’t want to bother you uhhh was yea ok <:)

ok!!! Basically there are 2 plots that converge, a silly lil camp in the woods and a fae love story! Let’s go under the cut for this cus I’m gonna be explaining them for a hot minute lol

I’m gonna make a breakdown of all the individual characters in a minute but for now here’s a chart I just finished so u know whos where in all this

(Eros not on here but he’s a forest folk) So I’ll give u an expo on both of the plots (feel free to come ask questions as ur reading or after ur done, I would Love to talk abt this au as much as possible)

The fae side: Eliana here’s from two of her townsfolk (the twins) that there are fae in the woods. All her fellow townspeople say they’re just being pranksters again (the amount of times they’ve tried to convince the town there’s totally a werewolf just outside of town is too many for them to be a trustworthy source- and as aspiring nightwalker hunters of course they’re trying to spot fae in every leaf and under every rock), but Eliana, curious, decides to sneak off one night to investigate. After all if there’s a fae out there, it’s her responsibility to ward it off from her town! what she finds though is not a silly lie from the twins or a terrifying manipulative monster- in A flower patch she sees her, the most beautiful charming looking fairy she’s every seen, all alone weaving a flower crown in the woods. He spots her, and although she’s scared at first and wards them with her axe, she can’t bear to attack him. they hit it off really quickly, and Shirley shows her the beauty of the hidden parts of the forest, lit up by the magic of the moon, as opposed to the normal sunlit forest Eliana is used to. She returns home at dawn with promises to come back the next day. Meanwhile Shirley goes home to his ghost husband like ‘omg I just met the prettiest lady evr, she’s coming back tomorrow can we keep her’ and Thomas is like ‘bro we already have jr‘ and Shirley is like ‘no but I want to kiss her 🥺 and hold hands 🥺🥺🥺 and trap her in the fae lands forever with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺’ and Thomas is obviously slightly jealous but he’s like ‘yeah whatever’ bcus he knows if Shirley does try and make out with some daywalker he’s prolly gonna kill her by accident anyways jdgfufndkc. so Eliana starts going out every night with the excuse that she’s choppin down wood, (ninas suspicious of this excuse but Michael tells her eliana wouldn’t lie,) and Shirley keeps trying to get her to stay forever and eat all their food and introduces her to Thomas and jr and stuff, and it’s nice and all but shirleys making her stay for longer and longer, and he can’t handle letting her go for even a second. Eliana doesn’t mind tho, she’s totally blind with love, and eventually she’s tells the town abt Shirley but that he’s totally not like other fae and definitely cool and there’s mixed feelings, some ‘awwww Eliana finally found a girlfriend, so sweet 🥰’s and some ‘they’re not different ur just being manipulated, we should go kill him’s and even some ‘huh, wasn’t that the name of the guy Harley was crying abt not being able to remember, lol crazy coincidence, Emerson let’s go bully harley’s.

yeah but Shirley has fucking crazy attachment issues and horrible death magic, so eventually one morning he does get REALLY upset abt his girlfriend leaving, like the whole tree (Thomas and Shirley live in a treehouse) is dying around him and Thomas is holding jr begging him to calm down, and Elianas finally like ‘hmm. Maybe this was a bad idea’ and that’s about where we are rn with that whole thing.

CAMP TIME: so as shown from chart above, there’s some ppl living in a lil forest camp together :) emi and graci moved there because they wanna learn how to hunt nightwalkers >:) there was a reason for it a couple years ago but they kind of forgot what it was (cough Shirley disappearing cough) but they’re still dead set on it! And lucky dink, as they’re moving to camp big Harley comes home to visit his brothers and ends up joining the camp for a bit since all 3 of his brothers are there! Camp Side of the story doesn’t have a ton of plot, mostly Harley low key having a crisis abt how busy his life at his actual home is and how everything feels so horribly off here even though hypothetically things haven’t changed much since he left and the twins fucking around and causing trouble around camp. Hallow thinks it’s funny that the stupid kids wanna hunt night walkers cus he is one, so he gives them the tip that theres a vampire in camp and they become dead set on it being Jane. All the kids like playing with Ben like he’s a whole ass jungle gym, he thinks it’s cute. kibi gets dragged around by emi and graci while they try to find the werewoof at the edge of town (sadly they only find Andy, darn, but he plays them some songs so not a total waste. also yes Andy is obviously the werewolf the twins are just stupid GDSHDSJD.) charlotte sits around crying and the other kids and counselors like to play a game where they all take turns trying to make her laugh (the first time the twins came to camp Emerson made her giggle, belle and Ben were so happy they were just sitting there sobbing bcus their girl finally smiled again, so Charlie quietly suggested they make it a new daily game because he hadn’t seen Ben and belle that hopeful in years :,) ). jr and Maria go around biting peoples ankles and collecting sticks. After hearing emi and graci talk abt town, Jane decided she wants to go visit town, Danny‘s super hesitant but the other 3 camp counselors all agree that since she’s 16 now she’s definitely old enough to go where she wants. While shes there she goes to a festival and meets Andy (17) and it’s nice :) also hallow has ero Boyf who visits sometimes and Danny’s got husb Sébastien who he and Jane visit a lot.

ya that’s pretty much all the plot stuff for now! there’s some more backstory stuff abt thomas dying with Charlotte watching and Shirley going missing and what not but yea that’s pretty much it :D

#Not art #🌱 #Uhh I don’t have a tag for the au yet but I’ll add it once I have a name #Sorry this took so long I was REALLY excited to infodump abt this au shdhdhs #Blinding light au

[flying-elliska]

i watched star trek discovery s3 ! thoughts !

- no matter what i always feel pushed to be overall positive about disco because of all the stupid whiny fanboys dunking on it because it’s too *diverse* and I think this season did pretty well in that regard and that it’s just very refreshing to have a cast that is just a lot more realistic re:what humans would look like in that era

- s3....i actually really enjoyed overall ? by going to the future, they’re not so stuck between all the older shows, being a prequel and bringing old characters back etc etc. they can explore new territory. And like. I don’t think they handled a lot of the plots as well as they could have. It had this HUGE potential that i don’t think they really made good on, because this series’ writing is just...i don’t know, a bit wack sometimes, like it was written by lots of different people pulling in a different direction. i see what it’s trying to do in terms of sociological and philosophical storytelling, but it’s often a bit too simplistic. but i just...i love these characters, i thought the season’s set up was so interesting, and it was just so much fun. and like...star trek has always been full of cheese and shortcuts and stories that focused more on emotions. it’s not hard scifi. it’s just not. i would like disco to come through with more philosophical/geopolitical episodes sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it’s ‘not star trek’

- Booker is definitely my favorite new character of the season. He’s just so cool ? Like a charming rogue idealist with an enormous cat named Grudge who travels around space to save endangered species ? that is just so new. i’m so tired of cynical rogues, they’re so overdone. but Booker breaks the rules because he CARES. yes. the empath thing is very sexy. the episode with his brother was so interesting. Booker’s the idealist but he left his people behind, while the brother is doing awful things to keep his people from starving to death, and so both their perspectives are understandable, and i love that they came to an understanding. also his chemistry with Michael is great, even though i wish they had taken more time to show us their developping relationship. but the episode when they met is one of my faves. that episode where he helps the slave workers rebel was !!!!! i hope they give him more to do next season apart from “Michael’s boyfriend” but yeah. he’s great.

- i just loved seeing the crew bond!!! so much! they’ve gone through so much together ! i definitely ship jola now. they’re just so cool. i hope we get to know the others in the bridge crew more but i love the bits we got, about them adapting to these crazy new circumstances, and about ‘growing through change’ ; even though i thought some elements like Detmer’s PTSD were dealt with a little bit too fast. I loved seeing Hugh trying to get everyone some mental support and therapy. I loved Tilly taking charge more and more ; and people recognize that even though she is emotional she’s also unfailingly compassionate and brave and those are qualities you want in a leader. ahhhh

- the new future is very interesting. i was afraid they would go too grimdark with the Federation gone, but...they’ve kept it relatively nuanced so that was interesting. seeing the Vulcans and Romulans reunited was quite incredible, and i loved the bit with the trial. and Michael deciding to back off so she wouldn��t risk their fragile unity. and her admiring the fact that Spock’s life work came to fruition. emotions !!!!!

- Michael’s development is...a joy to see. I love Sonequa’s portrayal of her so much. and she’s so pretty lmao. the writing for her character is still a bit all over the place, though. i don’t feel they explained her big changes of mind enough, and i don’t always understand what they are trying to do with her character, sometimes it’s a bit too much of ‘whatever the plot requires’. the series has a tendency to both make her the one who always saves the day a bit too much and to put too big of a burden on her in ways that feel iffy. But i’m still super happy to have her be captain, finally, and can’t wait to see how she grows into the role.

- I thought the Terra Firma episodes were so interesting ; it was fascinating to see how much Georgiou has changed through her time in the Prime universe. Mirror universe characters redemption arc is a Star Trek classic, after all. I am sad to see her gone from Disco but i feel like her next series could potentially be sooooo interesting. i mean, i know the evil promiscuous bisexual cliché is a bit bad, but Michelle Yeoh is just having SO MUCH FUN in the role i kind of forget about it. it’s a bit like ‘nggggh evil queer lady sexy’ thing. and the guardian of forever !!!

- Adira and Grey...now, i do think it was great to introduce a trans guy and a non-binary person and to make them a couple, totally awesome. i am not entirely convinced by their story though, i don’t feel they had a lot to do past their introduction. and the fact that Grey started the series being dead already...i mean they’re probably bring him back somehow but they have a bit too much of a tendency to kill their queer characters already, it’s an issue for me. i liked Stamets and Culber kind of adopting them that was cute but they didn’t do much this season either. i have to say tho, two gay dads telling a trans kid they will ‘help him be seen’ was like awwwwwwww

- i found the ending...a little bit underwhelming. it’s the opposite of s2, where i found the season pretty meh until the ending which i found kind of incredible. this one...the Emerald Chain was a cool villain, but I don’t feel like it materialized enough. i did think it was interesting to ‘tempt’ the Federation, to see how their principles held up ; but the fact that most of their problems with dilithium seem to be solved by the end of the season is a bit...hm, is that all ? similarly, the revelation that Su’kal was at the core of it all...i found the bits in the stimulations kind of fascinating, the theme of the importance of connection, etc. that said, i was hoping the solution to the Burn to be a bit more...Geopolitical. I just miss Deep Space Nine in that regard, they knew how to do political storylines in a way that felt so deeply grounded and complex. In Disco, problems get solved a bit too easily, and so it just feels like everything has less impact.

But overall, this is probably the season i’m most likely to rewatch for fun. the first two are so gritty, and they have made some really stupid story choices. this one is a lot more like a fun space adventure, and honestly that’s not a bad thing. even though next season I really hope they will put some effort into the worldbuilding. because sometimes it feels a little bit like modern storytelling has dumbed star trek down (i feel the movies are responsible in part, but it’s also like a general thing accross the board)

#star trek #star trek discovery #star trek disco #discovery #stdisco #stdisco spoilers #star trek disco s3

[gra-sonas]

Do you think the shows taken it too far in terms of malex not being together because the fact that people are having to ask actors for their opinions tells me it's being shown to the audience as hopeless. I think they've had Michael choose M*ria one time too many and driven in the nail a bit too hard. Balance is needed!

Has the show taken it too far? Not an easy question to answer.

Casual viewers, people who actually enjoy M/M, and some Malex shippers would probably answer with ‘no’.

But there’s a growing number of people (I consider myself one of them) who feel like the show’s taken it too far. Which is understandable imo, fans of queer ships are naturally an anxious bunch. We never have the luxury of knowing for sure that our pairing will make it in the end (apart from that, we don’t just want Malex together at the end, but that’s a different point).

And so far there’s a severe imbalance when it comes to Malex. And it’s more than one.

Imbalance I: Echo vs Malex

I don’t want to make this a competition, but I’d like to point out the differences between both relationships. I don’t want Echo to have it worse, but I definitely want Malex to have it better.

With Echo, no one ever has to truly worry that they are not it, that they won’t end up together - you know that watching the first scene of episode 1x01, the way they look at each other and say each other’s names. There’s no doubt whatsoever that they are the show’s OTP.

Kyle and Jenna were in the picture for a bit, but neither was ever actual competition, and Max/Liz/Kyle or Jenna/Max/Liz were never actual triangles that were explored in earnest. And even when Max died, it was clear he’d come back.

When he came back ‘evil’ it was handled in one fight. When it turned out he had Liz!amnesia, him and Liz got an entire episode of falling in love with each other all over again. I’m not saying that they don’t have problems to overcome, or that they don’t deserve to be happy, but in comparison to Malex, they’ve had it fairly easy (by TV drama standards anyway). Apart from that, there are no alternative relationships presented for either of them to pick.

With Malex, we got a mostly tragic love story that’s lasted for over a decade already, despite them having experienced a brutal and homophobic attack on the day they got together initially. And over the course of S1 they showed us, that their love is cosmic. 

But no matter how clear it is on screen in every scene how much they LOVE each other still, that ‘the pieces want to be together’ regardless of trauma and years apart, a potential relationship’s been painted as ‘too complicated’, ‘too painful’, ‘toxic’, and burdened with too much trauma and bad memories to be a viable option from day one.

So, whereas Echo did get more than one shot at being in a relationship, got love declarations, happy kisses and dates, Malex got half a shot at being together between 1x01 and 1x03 and have been broken up since.

Imbalance II: mlm vs m/f

On top of that, they were thrown into an actual triangle, with one of Alex’s (alleged) best female friends even. An mlm relationship deemed too complicated and ‘toxic’ competing against an m/f relationship lauded as ‘easy’, a ‘breath of fresh air’, and something that will finally allow Michael to be ‘happy’.

We saw Alex’s friend go behind his back even tho she’d told him, had she known about him and Michael, the no-good-Texas-rounder would’ve never happened in the first place, and now that she knew, she promised him it would definitely never happen again.

She didn’t keep her promise tho, invited Michael to kiss her, kept pursuing him, and ultimately he started ‘parking in her lot’ a couple weeks later (not before ‘ending’ things with Alex for the umpteenth time tho, while casually informing him about the fact Michael would be moving on with Alex’s friend - a fact he clearly hadn’t known about before).

“Best friends who?” - She didn’t talk to Alex about entering a relationship with the guy she knew Alex still had feelings for and felt hopeful about for months, and when she finally came to talk to him, she didn’t even apologize, instead Alex was the compassionate and understanding Gay Best Friend™, and gave his blessings. Clean slate for m/f and the gay seal of approval. Awesome.

And to really hammer it home that Malex won’t happen anytime soon, the gay man was roped into a threesome by his female friend with the man she knows he loves. And, you’ve guessed it, it ended with Michael picking her over ‘too complicated’ with Alex yet again.

These are all writing choices made in favor of the m/f relationship,  while the gay character's been left in the dust over and over again, and the mlm relationship's never been considered an option.

Imbalance III: Michael vs Alex

Halfway through S2, they finally introduced a new love interest for Alex. A man picking up on his reluctance to kiss in public (which he easily and correctly interpreted as lack of enthusiastic consent), respecting Alex’s boundaries without throwing a fit, and being okay with Alex not having it all figured out right from the start. An actual breath of fresh air...

But of course Alex can’t just be ‘happy’ like Michael, who gets to play caring boyfriend, casual kisses and domestic-y moments included. Nah, Alex has to work twice as hard to even get to kiss the new guy, bc there’s a severe case of childhood abuse anxiety and internalized homophobia he has to overcome first.

Smooth sailing and a relationship for one, queer trauma struggles for the other.

* ~ *

Is anyone still surprised that Malex fans are losing hope, or flock to ForIex instead? Even those of us who believe that Malex are ‘endgame’ in some nebulous future (I’m still one of them) are losing hope because we see Michael pick someone else over Alex again and again, and the magic of their cosmic love fades and dulls every time he does.

Also, what kind of endgame are we actually talking about? The kind where they are finally allowed to get together at the very end of the show, making viewers go through an endless parade of will-they-won’t-they situations for seasons on end? I don’t think many Malex fans would stick around to see that happen, especially not when the show keeps treating Alex like a burden and leaves him sad and alone in almost every episode.

So yeah, there’s no balance imo, and the longer Malex are kept apart, and the longer the show keeps telling/showing us that Michael will always pick someone else over Alex, hope for Malex to find a way back to each other will dwindle, until one day there’s no hope left.

#you can probably tell that i'm bitter #i'll be salty about this for a while #walk in the park for the straights #climbing mount everest without oxygen device for the queers #i'm exaggerating (am i tho?) #but it's frustrating to see how different all of this is treated #malex #echo #don't get me wrong #i don't begrudge echo what they have #i just wish malex didn't have to overcome as many obstacles as they do #and yes i'm an alex stan who thinks he's treated unfairly #again i don't want any other characters to be treated worse #i want him to be treated better #nonnie asks

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

I'm here, queer, and I want a summary for the new lesson (whenever you get around to playing it of course)!

-35 Anon

NEW FIC + LESSON 44 SUMMARY 

Hii! I'm sorry this took like a week BUT as an apology/compensation I wrote a lil' something based off this lesson :D   ;

Familiar Strangers

Mammon gets a little more time with the strange angel his little brothers picked up and picks up a few things of his own.

ok ok so this lesson holy shit??? This is probably one of my favourite lessons!? It just gives so much and ahhh it was so good! It gives more angel backstory and lore, shows what got Levi into anime in the first place and answers the question I asked in the previous lesson summary; about why Mammon made a pact with MC in the first place when he said in lesson 43 that he wouldn't make a pact with a random human. And look i'm too excited to wait to reveal this in the end (plus with the way om lessons are structured there won't be a big reveal, just a gradual realisation) so im gonna reveal it here immediately.

LESSON 44 SPOILERS

MC once again fucked up the timeline :')

MC's the one who got Levi into anime in the first place. (but the only reason they got him into anime was cause they already knew he liked anime but he liked anime only because they got him into it and so on and so on, one whole horrid circle)

A time paradox was already in play at the very beginning of S1, meaning MC's first meeting with the brothers was never in S1 but instead thousand of years before the main storyline even began. Meaning MC was never a random human and holy shit???????

I'll talk more about MC and Mammon's pact after I summarise everything, as well as about their sins and their lives in the Celestial Realm Vs the Devildom cause everything is blowing my mind . Additionally, even though Mammon shares more or less equal screentime with his brothers in this lesson it adds a ton of character depth to him and i adore it.

Ok so the lesson starts with;

Mammon, Beel, Satan & MC bursting into Asmo's room. Mammon yelling about how he's gonna kill Asmo cause of the leak, only to find his room empty. They check his bathroom (which in my humble opinion is the first place they should have checked, but then again this is asmo so maybe they wanted to keep that as the worst case scenario option), MC says they should turn the water off immediately and mammon confirms that yeah if lucifer is actually still alive and finds out about this all of them will be murdered on the spot. They find Asmo passed out in the bathroom. MC uses the healing spell they learn back in s2 to take away some of his pain. All 3 brothers seem very worried and when Beel asks Asmo if he's okay, he says that he's not but that MC kissing him may make him better (my man's on his death bed and still tryna smash, an absolute icon). Mammon immediately tells Asmo to go die, and Beel says he shouldn't have worried about Asmo cause it was a waste of energy. and look that instant turnabout is peak comedy :'). Asmo calls them out on being assholes and that he does still feel dizzy and Satan says that if he's able to joke about he's fine. Asmo says that he still wants to sleep it off and that he wants MC with him. Satan once again proving that he's the best brother says that him and Mammon will go make soup, Beel will clean the bathroom and that MC can take Asmo to bed. Asmo gushes about how good Satan is and Satan blushes (a year ago this sentence would have been so messed up wtf happened). in bed MC ends up telling Asmo all about their day and Asmo gets sad about not being able to go to the cafe, MC complains about Simeon being a sadist who put them to work (or they can invite Asmo to come the next time) and Asmo says he's jealous that he wasn't there to see them all suffer. Asmo says that while he was asleep he had a dream that he was still an angel and that it's been so long since he's seen Michael who was stunningly beautiful and who was gushing about lucifer, and that he was glad he didn't run into raphael cause he scared him. MC falls asleep while Asmo talks.

MC is woken up in a bright forest by angel Asmo, who asks them what they were doing sleeping in a place like that and says he has never seen MC before. MC can ask him what he's doing dressed like an angel or can ask him if he's actually asmo. He basically says either i've always looked like this unless you're talking about my nails which i painted a different colour or duh obviously you know who i am, who doesn't. He then asks MC who they are. They can ask him if he has forgotten them or if he's kidding. He says either that if they'd met before he wouldn't have forgotten them or that he always means what he says even if people think he's kidding and then asks for their name. MC can ask if they are dreaming - Asmo takes it as them flirting with him/using a cheesy pickup line which he thinks is adorable - or they can ask where they are - the celestial realm. Asmo asks them if they work for Raphael cause Asmo had snuck into the human world to go to 'something called a party' which he had never been to before and that he'd had a lot of fun. But that raphael says 'it's a wicked and immoral thing'. He then asks MC what they think. MC gets to either say that it's up to him to decide or to agree with raphael. If you choose the first option Asmo is suprised, and then says that since it was so much fun it'd be a tragedy never to experience it again and that he thinks he should be allowed to have fun. Asmo had found MC while he was hiding from Raphael who was pissed about the party. Asmo goes to propose something to MC but gets cockblocked by Beel. Asmo asks beel if he could open the celestial realm gates, beel says no and then asks who the fuck MC is. Asmo introduces Beel as a cherubim and a guardian of the gates of the Celestial Realm. And says that Beel is a very famous angel, and that there's a rumour that lucifer recommended Beel to be promoted to seraphim. Beel says that lucifer hasn't mentioned it to him and that it's just a rumour. Beel asks MC if they are okay and if Asmo has tried anything on them cause Asmo hits on anything that moves. Asmo gets pissed and says that it's not that he'd happily sleep with anyone but that he cares about who they are and that he feels love towards everyone he meets. And that the reason everyone loves him so much is cause he loves everyone due to his ability to see the good in people. Beel changes the subject by telling MC they look hungry and offers them a few sweets he got from Michael. MC basically goes wtf why aren't you eating them. He says he's not hungry and that he has eaten too much recently and gained weight and is now on a diet. MC probably looks like they had a stroke cause Beel asks if they are okay. MC tells him that they like the fact that he eats a lot. Beel blushes before asking Asmo if that's a compliment and if he's supposed to thank MC. Asmo who's pissed off snaps at beel about MC and Beel flirting while ignoring him. Beel says he came here looking for belphie.

Beel proceeds to shake a tree until Belphie falls out... Belphie takes one look at MC and asks what the fuck a human is doing in the celestial realm (i forgot that this was back when he still liked humans and thought we were back to square one and he was about to start throwing hands). MC can say 'You think I lool like a human?' vs "Excuse me? What are YOU doing here?'. for the second option Belphie just says screw you I asked first. For the first he's confused that they are not, Asmo saves MC's ass either by telling Belphie to go get his eyes checked while Beel says MC's an angel. Belphie says he does detect angelic vibes from MC (Lilith's bloodline???) but also something humanlike. Asmo says Belphie probably senses that cause all he ever thinks about are humans and Belphie says it's cause humans are interesting and wishes he was born as a human. Asmo yells at Belphie not to say things like that cause if Raphael finds out they'd be in trouble. Beel asks what they are gonna do about their new lost angel and Asmo asks if they can keep MC. Belphie says no cause they're supposed to bring lost angels to Lucifer (how often do angels get lost????). MC gets to choose whether they want to go with Beel, Belphie or Asmo to find lucifer. I chose Beel cause he was anyway going back to Lucifer with Belphie (⚡⚡Efficiency🌟🌟) which is when belphie finds out lucifer's looking for him cause he skipped a meeting. '???' cuts in with a "Mmhm, I THOUGHT I heard some awfully familiar voices..." it turns out to be Mammon who's been looking for all of them (minus MC for a change and isn't that the weirdest thing to happen in all this).

Asmo scolds Mammon for scaring him and tells him not to appear outta thin air like that (that's such a 'Lucifer Trait' tho that i don't think we've seen from Mammon before?) - Mammon says he'll do what he wants. He then asks if MC is Asmo's 'newest plaything'. Asmo says no but can you imagine tho😍 After Belphie and Beel introduce MC as a lost angel, Mammon sounds oddly skeptical and says he's never heard of an "MC" before. Beel introduces Mammon as a throne who acts as Lucifer's assistant. He says that Mammon can be trusted cause outta all the thrones he's Lucifer's most trusted. Asmo says that Mammon used to be a troublemaker and that Michael hadn't known what to do with him but that he's grown into someone who, more than anyone else in the Celestial Realm, can do anything he puts his mind in to. Mammon says he doesn't like the way Asmo introduced him and Belphie says it's true though cause they all thought Mammon was just a step away from being cast out (fdshgfwdygds explains why Lucifer worries so much over Mammon in the present cause he's gone back to being a troublemaker). MC can ask about 1.) the being cast out thing - Mammon says the others are exaggerating even though things have changed. 2.) being a throne - blushing Mammon says that he was an archangel and that Lucifer recommended him as a throne. 3.)question him about being able to do anything - he snaps at them for looking disbelieving and says he's talented.  Belphie says mammon used to be awful and ngl these made me laugh - mammon brought back pigeon feathers from the human world and tried to sell them to the lower rank angels by telling them they were Raphael's feathers, he also ordered around the army of angels for fun and said he was playing angel chess. Mammon says they were just innocent pranks and were no big deal and MC ever the enabler agrees with him. Mammon says it seems like MC's actually got some sense and says he likes them and that they're cool. Mammon then stutters and asks MC why they're staring at him 'like that' and imagine the amount of shit going through MC's head at seeing Mammon like this? From all the brothers he's arguably the one they're closest with (even if it's not in a romantic sense) so seeing him in a world where he's respected by his brothers and has this kinda calm confidence that he doesn't have as a demon, imagining what must have happened between then and the present for things to change the way they have, finding out he's still a troublemaker, still wholly Mammon, and just has to squash down those urges here, remembering all the times the more responsible side of him came out as a demon and getting to see a version of himself where that side is more prominent. Seeing him so easily say that he likes them without any of the protests he had as a demon. Realising that Mammon's more 'tsundere' characteristics are all a defense mechanism to protect himself from opening up and being hurt and that in the present after realising they genuinely care about him he starts dropping them. realising that as both an angel and a demon he took a look at them and thought 'this one, i like.' Just!??? Ah. :). Anyway back to the chapter- He starts blushing and tells them to stop staring. Belphie asks Mammon if he wants to be like Lucifer, blushing Mammon asks so what if he does. Belphie says that's never gonna happen so he should give up while he's ahead (made me wanna punch him) and that Mammon is not Lucifer and is instead Mammon and that he can't become something he's not (made me wanna hug him). Mammon tells Belphie to shut up and asks why he cares anyway and that with enough time one day he might do it and that he doesn't care what belphie says and that they should just watch him. and isn't it sad that Mammon will never get that time, and yeah it's a good thing that now as a demon he's just being Mammon without trying to be lucifer but he was never given the time to figure that out for himself and it explains all the issues/complexes Mammon has regarding Lucifer and shit imagine losing MC to the man he respects and loves but who he will always see himself as second best to and who he was always trying to reach, the man he believed he could have become until the fall and until he gave up and let his sin and his more real self takeover?? Since Mammon never had the time to realise that it's better to be yourself than someone else if MC ends up choosing Lucifer he'll always have that 'what if' in the back of his head and that shit hurts dude. MC can then say something about them all really loving Lucifer, Mammon blushes and stutters and said that nobody said anything about loving lucifer. Beel, Belphie and Asmo all say they love Luicfer (but not his lectures). Mammon growls and says he hates them and Asmo calls him out on being really obvious about loving lucifer as well, Mammon blushing says he doesn't. Or they can tell Mammon they're rooting for him. He's suprised and then stutters and blushes and asks if they really will. Then still blushing and stuttering he tells MC to stop staring at him like that again. MC's such a pining idiot i can't handle it.  Beel changes the subject and asks why Mammon was looking for them. Lucifer had sent Mammon to find the twins cause Beel never returned with Belphie. He also tells Asmo that Raphael was walking around with his spear looking for him. He then calls them to head to the Celestial Palace. Asmo says that if the Seraphim find out about MC it'll make things worse and who knows what they'll do to all of them. They decide they should hide MC someplace.

Inside the palace Mammon yells at MC to stop looking at everything with wide eyes (did this happen before? when he was showing them around the devildom during the first lesson? I can't remember but my love for parallels is praying it did) cause they're already sticking out by being a bunch of high ranking angels gathered together. Asmo tells Mammon he needs to be nicer. He says that there's no reason to worry cause Lucifer and the others are on the higher floors. Belphie says that this makes it the perfect spot to hide when they wanna skip work. MC says that even angels need a break sometimes. Asmo says the seraphim are bossy and never cut them any slack. Beel asks MC if they are close to any other angels. If MC says Luke no one knows who that is cause the baby hasn't been born yet🥺. If MC says Simeon, Belphie's surprised and Beel says that outta all the Seraphim Simeon's the most easygoing. AND holy shit??? During the last lesson Simeon said he was an archangel which means that he was demoted at some point?????? And considering how close he was with Lucifer and possibly the others as well,,,,,,,,,,could it be possible that he was demoted after the fall? That though he didn't come with them he helped them escape in someway? or looked aside while they escaped? or knew about Lilith and her human? Or knew Lucifer was becoming more disillusioned? Belphie says it's not that Simeon's easygoing but rather that the others are too intense. Mammon asks if they should hand MC over to Simeon and Asmo says another Seraphim would spot them before they reached him. They stop outside their secret room aka the slacking off room. When the door is opened MC and possibly Beel get drenched in water while Belphie, Asmo and possibly Mammon manage to jump away. "???" says that to get entry they need to say the secret phrase.

belphie asks if they really need a secret phrase and levi says they never know when the seraphim will show up, mammon says that if they do show up a secret phrase wouldn't stop them from coming inside. Levi says whatever and asks who MC is. Asmo scolds him for the way he worded the question but still introduces MC. Levi suspects that MC is one of Michael's agents who was sent to verify that levi is 'as much of an useless waste of space as I seem to be'. MC snaps 'That's not true!' and Levi is startled and blushes. And Mammon, holy shit Mammon says what in my humble opinion is one of the funniest lines in the series,: "That's right, Levi. It's not true. I mean, just look at MC's face... See that absentminded stare... like there's nothin' going on upstairs? Does that look like the face of one of Michael's agents? I don't think so." WHY did he have to come for MC so hard!???? this came literally outta nowhere and it made me laugh so hard??? Worst of all? it made me realise a horrid horrid truth; Mammon considers himself a morosexual I'm in tears???? Levi says it's better to be absentminded than to be a waste of space. Belphie says that Levi commanded Lotan and the army of angels in the war against the demons and was basically their general. Beel says that now that the Celestial Realm is at peace Levi feels like he has no purpose. Asmo says that someone from the younger generation took over the Devildom which is why the war ended, though Mammon says the transition isn't official yet. Levi tells them to shut up and Mammon tells him that sitting around being grumpy wouldn't do anything and that he should at least enjoy them being at peace. Levi says that he doesn't wanna hear that crap from Mammon cause Mammon being Lucifer's favourite means he can be an airhead and still have his future secured, while levi would be a dead weight, a leach and a burden to the entire realm without a war to fight (and i mean a lot of what levi said is pretty messed up but Mammon did get promoted from a warrior to Lucifer's right hand possibly after the war was over? while Levi's still a general in a realm at peace). When mammon gets pissed off at Levi's comment the others say that considering this isn't the first time that levi got into one of these moods mammon should just ignore him. Levi immediately latches onto that and says that they shouldn't interact with an useless bore of an angel like him cause it's just a waste of time. MC suggests that Levi find something else he can be passionate about and he says that there's nothing else for him. MC can recommend either anime or manga.  since he doesn't know what these are MC then explains it to him in detail. he's interested but doesn't think a boring angel like him could actually get interested in anything like that (oh baby...). Belphie and Asmo are surprised that MC seems to know so much about the human culture when even Belphie doesn't know this much. '???' voice finds them and says it's interesting how much free time they seem to have. Kinda sad to find out that Levi got into anime cause he needed something to make him feel less useless in the aftermath of a war...

The brothers all freak out about being found by lucifer, who yells at Mammon for not bringing the twins to him and at Beel for not bringing Belphie and then at Belphie for oversleeping and missing the meeting and at Asmo, who he says should take care of the situation before he finds himself at 'the pointy end of Raphael's spear. do you think the Seraphim have divisions that they each head? Lucifer doesn't seem inclined to punish Asmo for breaking the rules like he would have in the Devildom and rather lets Raphael take care of it. Mammon trained under Michael before he met Lucifer - so when he was an archangel. And now as an archangel Simeon works for Michael. It's implied previously in this lesson that Lucifer had other thrones working for him. So? Lucifer then asks who MC is. MC says 'I know you' which makes Lucifer's affection meter go up but he says duh obviously you know me, everyone does (and I mean this in the most affectionate way possible but like what a fucking asshole). Asmo introduces MC as a lost angel and says they were planning to find Lucifer. Lucifer asks if they decided to hide MC cause they were scared the other seraphim would find out and this brings up so many questions - How mean exactly are the other seraphim? We know that the brothers are scared of Lucifer but comparatively Asmo's terrified of Raphael and Mammon of Michael. What exactly would the others do to a lost angel? Ik they said simeon was the most easygoing but is it possible Lucifer's the nicest? I mean he did adopt 6 oddball angels, he seems to be trying to help them rise through the ranks, he seems to deal with lost angels regularly, he knows about their slacking off room and hasn't told the others (to be fair tho if anyone needs a slacking off room it's lucifer), they trusted him not to get mad about their room and about the weird 'angel' they found... Mammon changes the subject by asking Lucifer if he was supposed to be heading down to the devildom, when Levi asks why he'd go there, Lucifer says the price is asking to meet with him. Lucifer's says he doesn't like going but that it's his job and that he doesn't have a choice. with the free 50 pulls I got the devilgram about this first meeting and holy shit?? Lucifer was such a bitch and Diavolo STILL took one look at him decided 'damn I'm gonna love this man'?????????? Also the prejudice the angels have against the demons is just??? Lucifer was surprised that education was a thing in the devildom????? The fact that diavolo wanted not just peace but to build a bridge between the three realms and lucifer didn't believe him cause 1.) ew demons are evil but more importantly 2.) 'if that was possible why hasn't my father tried to achieve that?' - just them showing lucifer slowly starting to question everything he was brought up with and his father who looked up to and practically hero-worshipped?? The symbolism of Lucifer finding the devildom clothes he was provided with more comfortable than his angel's armour? Lucifer warming up to diavolo in the end and i dunno guys it was such a good devilgram. i also got the devilgram where lucifer gets jealous of Barbatos, sulks about it, then whines to MC and finally tries to bake cookies for Diavolo... it's not significant to anything i just needed to say that out loud. Back to the main storyline; MC can ask him whether he doesn't like demons or whether he doesn't want to go the devildom. his answer to both is basically 'ew of course not'. He then tells MC he'll ask Michael to help them. MC tells him to have fun with Diavolo and to be friendly. Lucifer is shocked cause it almost sounds like MC knows Diavolo, and he says they're odd cause he feels like even though he just met them it doesn't really feel like that. Asmo agrees and says when he talks to MC it feels like he's talking to someone very dear to him. Mammon's surprised it's not just him who feels that. Belphie says it's a mysterious feeling and Beel says maybe they've all met somewhere before. Levi says maybe MC reminds them of someone they know. Belphie says: "Hey, wait a second. Does MC remind you of Li-" He's cut off by the whole screen going white and '???' saying 'oh dear, what a mess...'

The voice laments about how often Solomon messes shit up, and asks how he could possibly create food that has odd effects on both humans and demons, and that it can't even be classified as food anymore and should be considered a magic potion. They say that Solomon doing these kinda shit without even realising is the worst part. The voice says that MC's consciousness was sent to the past through their dreams cause of Solomon's cooking and that solomon had created an immortality elixir by accident too once. the voice says that despite being a decent human with a good head on his shoulders Solomon can sometimes be more troublesome than the demons cause despite the way he acts he doesn't actually understand his own power. The voice says they'll send MC back home and that they'll forget everything that happened but the effect they had on the brothers as angels will carry on to the future and that in order to ensure the effect doesn't have negative consequences someday the voice will keep an eye on MC from now on. And that the voice will have to think about Simeon as well. They say goodbye until they meet MC again. MC wakes up next to a sleeping Asmo in his bed. When Beel tells them they're finally done cleaning up the bathroom MC tells him they had a wack dream but that they can't remember what it was, Beel says maybe it's something they're better off forgetting. There's a locked chapter that i can't open :')

The lessons over but I've got notes so hear me out!

1. ) The paradox of Mammon and MC's pact- in the previous lesson Mammon said he doesn't make pacts with random humans except as far as we knew then MC was a random human when he made the pact with them. Mammon being the fastest of the brothers also means he could have easily gotten Goldie back without making the pact. This lesson reveals that MC was never a random human and that they'd met thousands of years prior to their 'first meeting' and though neither Mammon nor MC would have remembered that meeting the effect of it would have still carried on. The effect of MC supporting Mammon's schemes and his dreams, the effect of him being flustered by them, of them staring at him in a way that made him blush, of him deciding he liked them, of him feeling like he already knew them and being able to comfortably tease them. And it's probably all of this that led Mammon to make a pact with them. Except MC was stared at him and supported him as an angel cause they already knew him and cared about him as an angel cause they had a pact together and were friends. tldr; the only reason Mammon made a pact with MC was cause they were familiar to him, the only reason they were familiar to him was cause they were nice to him when he was angel, and the only reason they were nice to him as an angel was cause they already had a pact with him and were friends and so on and so on.

2. ) They have so much freedom in the Devildom holy shit??? They went from having a council of scary vaguely sadistic control freaks to just one. They can do whatever they want without any real consequences while in the Celestial Realm a party was seen as something evil? None of them have any real duties in the devildom while they were so busy in the celestial realm they needed a secret room to slack off

3. ) the seraphim seem so much more controlling than diavolo? I mean the man takes any excuse to throw a party and is currently whining about not being allowed to go the human world. While in the celestial realm just talking about wanting to be human is a punishable offence. And yeah sure you could say that I'm comparing the past celestial realm vs the current devildom and that the current celestial realm has probably eased up a lot EXCEPT 01.) in the devilgram with Lucifer's and Diavolo's first meeting Diavolo seems exactly the same as he currently is. 02.) Luke - who is a fairly new angel- 's attitude when he first arrives in the devildom is scarily similar to Lucifer's attitude in the devilgram where he first meets Diavolo 03.) the angel event proves that the Celestial Realm still has a set view on what angels should be like and that the brothers never fit this view

4.) Forming of their sins - the brothers were definitely the odd ones out in the celestial realm even if they were pretty famous and they all had less intense versions of their sins even back then. MC who knows them for only their sins, reinforced them when they were angels which probably led to them embracing these sins more, which would have helped with their fall and with fully developing their sins

5. ) I feel like we might actually get to see michael???? They've been dragging and teasing about finally meeting him for so long.

Pls come talk to me about this lesson! I'm desperate rn i need to hear more thoughts and theories!

#asks #answers #obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #obey me! #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #my fics #my fic #fics #fic

[lucyreviewcy]

The Three Three Musketeers (or Where The F*ck Did All The Stupid Hats Go)

I read The Three Musketeers and then I watched the 1973, 1993 and 2011 adaptations. Which one wins tho?

Adaptation is a fascinating concept, especially of texts which are frequently adapted or parodied. After I rewatched the 2005 Pride and Prejudice I was reminded how weirdly divisive the two dominant adaptations of that book are. A lot of people consider the 2005 to be an inferior betrayal of the 1990s BBC version. I actually prefer the 2005 because I think Matthew McFadyen’s Mr Darcy is a wonderfully complex character. McFadyen imbues Darcy with social awkwardness and anxiety, which Lizzie misinterprets as his pride. To overcome the “Lizzie doesn’t fancy him ‘til she sees his house” debate, director Joe Wright includes a moment where Lizzie glimpses Darcy alone with his sister. He’s comfortable, his body language is completely different, and he’s smiling broadly. That moment really sold me on the entire film because it made Darcy a full character and was a really simple addition that rounded out the story. I still like the 90s version but for me, it’s the 2005 that takes first place.  (Although an honourable mention for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because it is an excellent romp.)

Look: adaptation is always a complicated topic. You can’t untangle one adaptation from another, because it’s pretty rare that somebody adapting a classic text like Pride and Prejudice or The Three Musketeers is not already familiar with existing adaptations. The most recent adaptation of any classic text is not simply an adaptation of that text, but the next step in a flow chart that includes all the previous adaptations and the cultural context of the newly created product. These three adaptations of Dumas’ 1844 novel are all texturally and stylistically very different, and two of them diverge significantly from the original text. What I found truly fascinating was what all of them had in common, and what each new era (these were made at around 20 year intervals) decides to add or remove. What do all these movies agree are the essential parts of the story, and what are some adaptations more squeamish about including from Dumas’ original narrative?

Before we dive in, no I have not seen every single adaptation of the story, that would be a dissertation level of research and I do actually have things to do right now (although, I will admit...not many.) I’m looking at these three Hollywood adaptations because they all had star studded casts (for the era they were made in), they’re all English language, and (crucially) they were all easily available on the internet for me to stream.

What are the essential ingredients of a Three Musketeers adaptation?

Firstly, there should be at least three musketeers. Secondly, D’Artagnan (Michael York 1973, Chris O’Donnell 1993, Logan Lerman 2011) should be a young upstart who is introduced part way through a sword fight. He should also have silly hair. He is also consistently introduced to the musketeers in all three films by challenging them each individually to duels at noon, one o’clock and two o’clock. 

The films all maintained some elements of the original “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, and featured the Queen, Milady and Constance. The characterisation of these three varied a lot.

Our villains in each case are invariably the Cardinal, his pal Rochefort (who always has an eyepatch, although this trope is not in the book and is actually attributable to the way Christopher Lee is styled in the 1973 film), and Milady de Winter. Satisfyingly, at least two of the villains usually wear red because they’re bad. Red is for bad. 

All three are very swashbuckling in tone, have elements of physical comedy, and two of them include one of the three valet characters Dumas wrote into the original story, Planchet (1973 Roy Kinnear, 2011 James “ugh why” Corden). They also all bear the generic markings of the movies made during the same era, our 70s D’Artagnan feels like a prototype Luke Skywalker. The 90s version features a random martial arts performer. The 2011 version has CGI and James Corden in equal measure (read: far too much of both.)

What are the big differences?

I’m going to divide this category into three main segments: character, story and style. My own three musketeers, the three musketeers of movie making.

Character

D’Artagnan

D’artagnan in the book comes across as a pretty comical figure. He’s nineteen and there’s something satisfying about how similar Dumas’ caricature of a nineteen year old is to a modern character of the same age. He’s overconfident, has a simplistic but concrete set of morals, and falls in love with every woman he sees. If D’Artagnan were a 2021 character, he’d really hate The Last Jedi, is what I’m saying. He’d definitely have a tumblr blog, probably a lot like this one, but perhaps a scooch more earnest. He really loved The Lighthouse but he can’t explain why. Isn’t it nice to know that awkward nineteen year olds have been pretty much the same for the last three hundred years at least? 

In all three films he’s kind of irritating, but at least in the 1973 this feels deliberate. This version has a certain “Carry On Musketeering” quality to it and D’Artagnan is your pantomime principal, he’s extremely naïve and he takes himself very seriously. This is the closest D’Artagnan to the book, and the 1973 is, in general, the film which adheres most faithfully to that source material. 

The 1993, which is (spoiler alert) my least favourite adaptation, has Chris O’Donnell as the least likeable D’Artagnan I’ve come across. I’ve only seen O’Donnell in one other thing, the Al Pacino movie Scent of a Woman. He’s bearable in that because he’s opposite Al Pacino, and so his wide-eyed innocence makes sense as a contrast to Pacino’s aged hoo-ah cynicism. Rather than being introduced in a practice sword fight with his father, as in the other two films, D’Artagnan is fighting the brother of an ex-lover. This captures the problem with the film in general: this adaptation wants D’Artagnan to be cool. He is not. The comedy of the 1973, and indeed the book, comes from D’Artagnan being deeply uncool, and from his blind idolisation of the deeply flawed Musketeers who actually are cool, but not necessarily heroic, or even good people. Their moral greyness contrasts with D’Artagnan’s defined sense of right and wrong, but he still considers them to be role models and heroes. 

2011′s version also suffers from “Cool D’Artagnan” syndrome, with the added annoyance of that most Marvel of tropes: the quip. One of the real issues with this film is that the dialogue has a lot of forced quippery that doesn’t quite land, and the editing slows the pace of the entire film. D’Artagnan’s first interaction with Constance is a bad attempt at wit which Constance points out isn’t very funny. The problem is that Constance has no personality so there’s no real indication that she’s in any position to judge his level of wit. She’s just vague, blonde and there: three characteristics which describe an entire pantheon of badly written female characters throughout the ages. Cool D’Artagnan also means that Constance should be additionally cool, because in the book, Constance is older than, smarter than and over-all more in charge than D’Artagnan. 

Female Characters

Let’s go into this with an open mind that understands all these films were made in the sociological context of their decade. The 1973 version would absolutely not be made in the same way now. Constance is a clumsy cartoon character who is forever falling over and accidentally sticking her breasts out. This is not the character from the books, but does at least leave an impression on the viewer one way or another. 

In contrast, the 1993 has a Constance so forgettable I literally cannot picture her. I think she holds D’Artagnan’s hand at the end. That’s all I can say on the subject. 

The 2011 has Gabriella Wilde in the role, and absolutely wastes her. Anyone who’s seen her in  Poldark knows that she can do sharp-tongued beautiful wit-princess with ease. It’s the writing of this film that lets her down, in general, that’s the problem with it. The storyline and design are great, but the actual dialogue lacks the pace and bite that a quip-ridden star vehicle needs. This Constance is given simultaneously more and less to do than the Constance of the original book, who demonstrates at every turn the superiority of her intellect over D’Artagnan, but doesn’t get to pretend to be a Musketeer and whip her hat off to show her flowing golden hair like she does in the 2011. 

The best character, for my money, in The Three Musketeers is Milady de Winter. Even Dumas got so obsessed with her that there are full chapters of the book written from pretty much her perspective. In the book, she’s described as a terrifying genius with powers of persuasion so potent that any jailor she speaks to must be instantly replaced. My favourite Milady is absolutely Faye Dunaway from 1973. She’s ferocious and beautiful and ruthless, but potentially looks even better because the portrayals in the other films are so very bad. 

The 1993 version has your typical blonde 90s baddie woman (Rebecca De Mornay), she wouldn’t look out of place as a scary girlfriend in an episode of Friends or Frasier. 2011 boasts Milla Jovovich who presents us a much more physical version of the character, even doing an awkwardly shoe-horned anachronistic hall of lasers a la Entrapment except instead of lasers its really thin pieces of glass? The “yeah but it looks cool” attitude to anachronism in this film is what makes it fun, and Jovovich’s Milady isn’t awful, she’s just let down by a plot point that she shares with 1993 Milady. Both these adaptations get really hooked on the fact that Athos used to be married to Milady at one time (conveniently leaving out the less justifiable character point that Athos TRIED TO HANG HER when he found out she had been branded as a thief - doesn’t wash so well with the modern audiences, I think.) Rather than hating/fearing Milady, the two modern adaptations suggest that Athos is still in love with her and pines for her. This detracts from Athos’ character just as much as it detracts from Milady’s. Interestingly, and I don’t know where this came from (if it was in the book I definitely missed it), both films feature a confrontation between the two where Athos points a gun at Milady but she pre-empts him by throwing herself off a cliff (or in the 2011, an air-ship.) I think both these versions were concerned that Milady was an anti-feminist character because she’s so wantonly evil, but I disagree. Equality means it is absolutely possible for Milady to be thoroughly evil and hated by the musketeers just as much as they hate Rochefort and the Cardinal. If you want to sort out the gender issues with this story, round Constance out and give her proper dialogue, don’t make Milady go weak at the knees because of whiny Athos (both Athos characters are exceedingly whiny, 1973 Athos is just...mashed).

The Musketeers

These guys are pretty important to get right in a film called The Three Musketeers. They have to be flawed, funny but kind of cool. Richard Chamberlain is an absolute dish in the 1973 version, capturing all those qualities in one. Is it clear which version is my favourite yet?

Athos is played variously by a totally hammered Oliver Reed (1973), a ginger-bearded Kiefer Sutherland (1993) and a badly bewigged Matthew McFadyen (2011). They all have in common the role of being the most level-headed character, but the focus on the relationship between Athos and Milady in the 93 and 11 editions undermines this a lot. Athos should be cool and aloof, instead of mooning over Milady the entire time. The 2011 gives Athos some painfully “edgy” lines like “I believe in this (points at wine) this (flicks coin) and this (stabs coin with knife.)...” which McFadyen ( once oh so perfect as Mr Darcy) doesn’t quite pull off. 

Porthos seems to be the musketeer who is the most different between interpretations. A foppish dandy in the 1973, a pirate (!?!) in the 1993, and then just...large in 2011. I think the mistake made in the 2011 is that large alone does not a personality make. There are hints at Porthos’ characterisation from the book: his dependence on rich women for money and his love of fine clothing, but these are only included as part of his introduction and never crop up again through the rest of the film. Pirate Porthos in 1993 is... you know what, fine, you guys were clearly throwing everything at the wall and seeing what stuck. 

Aramis is our dishy Richard Chamberlain in 1973, followed by womanising Charlie Sheen in 1993 and then strikingly suave Luke Evans in 2011. I actually didn’t mind Luke Evans’ interpretation, his dialogue is forgettable but his sleek charm stuck in my head. For some reason, this version has Aramis working as a parking attendant for horses, it worked for me as a fun A Knight’s Tale-esque bit of anachronistic character development. Charlie Sheen has never managed to appear likable or attractive to me and so his role in the 1993 falls flat. In fact, in that edition there’s not much distinction between the musketeers as characters and they’re all just very 90s and American. As anyone who’s read this blog before will expect, I think Keanu Reeves as Aramis would have really upped this film’s game. In fact, Keanu Reeves as Aramis, Brad Pitt as Athos and Will Smith as Porthos could have been the ultimate 90s adaptation, throw in DiCaprio as D’Artagnan and Roger Allam as the Cardinal and I’m fully sold. 

The King and Queen

All three films try and do the “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, but only the 1973 actually includes the Queen’s affair with Buckingham. The queen, played by Geraldine Chaplin, is a tragic romantic figure (she doesn’t have a tonne to do besides being wistful and sighing over Lord Buckingham). The king is played as a frivolous idiot by Jean-Pierre Cassel (voice dubbed by Richard Briers). He doesn’t really think of the queen as a person, more as a possession that he doesn’t want Buckingham to have. 

In the 1993 version, Buckingham doesn’t really feature, and it’s the queen’s refusal to get off with the Cardinal that prompts his fury at her. The book does touch on the Cardinal’s desire for the queen, but it’s placed front and centre in 1993. This is definitely the boobsiest version, with quite a lot of corsetry on show and a cardinal who hits on literally all the women. The king is shown as a stroppy teenage boy under the thumb of the cardinal, who just wants to ask the queen to the dance but doesn’t have the nerve. The king is, essentially, a Fall Out Boy lyric. 

The 2011 also seems to be really squeamish about the idea of the queen having an extramarital affair. It paints Buckingham (played with excellent wig and aplomb by Orlando Bloom) as a stylish villain, who’s advances the queen has rejected. Like the 1993 version, the King is a feckless youth rendered speechless by the presence of his wife. Both these versions want the King and Queen to be happy together, while the 1973 doesn’t give a fuck. 

The Cardinal and his Cronies

The cardinal is kind of universally an evil creepy guy. One of the characters from the 1973 version who actually left the least impression on me, played by Charlton Heston. I think he’s overshadowed in my recollection by cartoonishly evil Christopher Lee as Rochefort. Lee’s Rochefort is dark, mysterious and wonderfully bad, and so influential that all other incarnations’ design is based on him. The 1993 version had truly over the top Michael Wincott as a character I could honestly refer to as Darth Rochefort from the way he’s framed, while 2011 boasts a chronically underused Mads Mikkelsen in the role. 

Cardinal-wise, 1993 was my favourite with Tim Curry in all his ecclesiastical splendour. It was disappointing that everything about this film, including the Cardinal’s sexual harassment of every single female character, really didn’t work for me. Tim Curry is a natural choice for this role and gives it his campy all. 

2011 has not one but two trendy bond villain actors, with Mikkelsen working alongside Christoph Waltz who was...just kind of fine. I was really excited when he appeared but he didn’t really push the character far enough and left me cold. 

Story

The story is where the different adaptations diverge most completely. 1973 follows the plot of the novel, D’Artagnan comes to Paris, befriends the Musketeers and becomes embroiled in a plot by the Cardinal to expose the Queen’s affair with Buckingham through the theft of two diamond studs. D’Artagnan, aided partially by the musketeers, must travel to London to retrieve the set of twelve studs gifted by the King to the Queen, and by the Queen to Buckingham. He does so, the plot is foiled, he’s made into a musketeer! Hurrah, tankards all round.

The 1993 version drops D’Artagnan into the story just as the Cardinal has disbanded the Musketeers. I found the plot of this one really hard to follow and I think at some point D’Artagnan ended up in the Bastille? There was this whole plot point about how Rochefort had killed D’Artagnan’s father. In the original, and in the 1973 version, D’Artagnan’s entire beef with Rochefort is rooted in a joke Rochefort makes about D’Artagnan’s horse. I guess for the producers of this one, a horse insult is not enough motivation for a lifelong grudge. That is really the problem with the entire film, it forgets that the story as told by Dumas is set in a world where men duel over such petty things as “criticising one’s horse”, “blocking one’s journey down a staircase” and “accusing one of having dropped a lady’s handkerchief.” The colour palette and styling are very 90s “fun fun fun”, but the portrayal of the cardinal and the endless angst about D’Artagnan’s father really dampen the mood. 

The 2011 version, this is where the shit really hits the fan. We meet our musketeers as they collaborate with Milady to steal the blueprints for a flying ship (it’s like a piratecore zeppelin). Milady betrays them and gives the plans to Buckingham, they all become jaded and unemployed. D’Artagnan arrives on the scene (his American accent explained by the fact that he’s from a different part of France) and befriends the Musketeers. The cardinal tries to frame the queen for infidelity by having Milady steal her diamonds to hide them in Buckingham’s safe at the tower of London. Something something Constance, something something help me D’Artagnan you’re my only hope. MASSIVE AIRSHIP BATTLE. The king and queen have a dance. James Corden cracks wise. 

It seems like as time has passed, producers, writers and directors have felt compelled to embellish the story. I think, specifically in the case of the two later versions, this is because they wanted the films to resemble the big successes of the period. Everybody knows no Disney hero can be in possession of both parents, so D’Artagnan is out to avenge his father like Simba or Luke Skywalker. In the 2011 version, the plot is overblown and overcomplicated in what seems like an attempt to replicate the success of both the Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises. Remember the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End? No, me neither. 

Style

The style of these films grows increasingly wild along with the plots as time passes. The 1973 features a lot of slapstick comedy, some of which really made me cackle, and some of which was cringeworthily sexist (Constance’s boobs through the window of a litter.) That’s the 70s though! I love The Godfather but Diane Keaton’s character is unbelivably dull and annoying. Star Wars features a pretty good female character but she does end up in that bikini. The 70s seems to be a time of movies that were great except for their occasional headlong dive into misogyny. That doesn’t mean the entire movie is bad, it just means it’s suffering from the consequences of being made in the 70s. There were other consequences of this, I doubt many modern productions could get away with physically injuring so many of it’s cast members. From a glance down the IMDB trivia page, this film yielded a higher casualties to cast ratio than the My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words music video, and that’s a hard figure to top. 

The 1993 version is a Disney feature and suffers from having a thin sheen (not Charlie in this instance) of “Disney Original Movie” pasted over every scene. It looks like The Parent Trap might be filming in the adjacent studio a lot of the time. The vibrancy of the colours makes the costumes look unrealistic, while the blandness of the female characters means this movie ends up a bit of a bland bro-fest. Also occasionally the sexual and violent moments really jar with the overall tone making it an uneven watch. One minute it’s Charlie Sheen cracking jokes about trying to get off with someone’s wife, the next minute you see Milady throw herself off a cliff and land on the rocks. Weird choices all round. 

The 2011 version, as I’ve already mentioned, was trying to borrow its style from the success of Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean, with a little Ocean’s 11 thrown in. The soundtrack flips between not quite a Hans Zimmer score and not quite that other Hans Zimmer score, and after the success of Stardust it ends with a Take That song (for it to match up to the story it should have been Take That feat. Harry styles imho). Visually, there’s some fantastic travel by mapping going on, there’s far too much CGI (one of my friends pointed out that the canal in Venice seemed to be full of Flubber). Everyone is dressed in black leather, and there are not enough big hats at all. One of the best things about Musketeers films is that they’re an excuse for ridiculous hats, and in a film with a quite frankly insane visual style, I’m surprised the hats didn’t make it through. The cast, unfortunately, really lack chemistry which means the humorous dialogue is either stilted or James Corden, and the editing is just very strange. It’s one of those films that feels about as disjointed as an early morning dream, the one where you dream you’ve woken up, gotten dressed and fed the cat, but you actually are still in bed. 

Conclusion

Adaptations focus on different things depending on the context they were created in. The 2005 Pride and Prejudice is deliberately “grittier” than its 1990s predecessor, at a stage when “grit” was everywhere (The Bourne Identity, Spooks, Constantine). The Musketeers adaptations demonstrate exactly the same thing: what people wanted in the 70s was bawdy comedy and slapstick with a likeable idiot hero, the 90s clearly called for... Charlie Sheen and bright colours, and the 2010s just want too much of everything and a soundtrack with lots of banging and crashing. The more modern adaptations simplified the female characters (although the 1973 version definitely is guilty of oversimplifying Constance) while over-complicating the plot. There’s a lot of embellishment going on in the 2011 version that suggests the film wasn’t very sure of itself, it pulls its plot punches while simultaneously blindly flailing its stylistic fists. 

The film that works the best for me will always be the 1973 because it’s pretty straight down the line. Musketeers are good, Milady is evil, falling over is funny and the King’s an idiot. The later adaptations seem to be trying to fix problems with the story that the 1973 version just lets fly. The overcorrection of Milady and the under characterisation of Constance is the perfect example of this. If you want your Musketeers adaptation to be more feminist, don’t weaken Milady, strengthen Constance. Sometimes a competent female character is all that we need. A Constance who is like Florence Cassel from Death in Paradise or  Ahn Young-yi from Misaeng could really pack a punch.

I adored the energy of the 2011 adaptation, I loved how madcap it was, I loved how it threw historical accuracy to the wind. I thought the king was adorable, and I really enjoyed seeing Orlando Bloom hamming it up as Buckingham. I was genuinely sad that the sequel the ending sets up for never came, because once they got out of the sticky dialogue and into the explosions, the film was great fun. It was a beautiful disaster that never quite came together, but I really enjoyed watching it. I love films that have a sense of wild chaos, some more successful examples are The Devil’s Advocate, Blow Dry and Lego Batman. I think the spirit of going all out on everything can sometimes result in the best cinematic experience, it’s just a shame the script wasn’t really up to muster for 2011 Musketeers. 

I’m excited to see what the next big budget Musketeers adaptation brings, even if I’m going to have to wait another ten years to see it. I hope it’s directed by Chad Stahelski, that’d really float my boat (through the sky, like a zeppelin.)

#ThreeMusketeers #Three Musketeers #Adaptation #Movies #Film #The Three Musketeers

[asterekmess]

Since we all seem to be on an anti-scott ride here, one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately, and how much it really, really bothers me is how Scott, at that point knowing about the Hale fire, was able to look Derek in the eye and say that the Argents had a reason for targeting Derek's family. That his entire family's death was justified for the sole reason that they were anything human, and as an audience we're just expected to agree and sympathize with Scott's bias and disregard Derek

I totally agree with your frustration.

Now, as much of a hater as I am, I do try to give Scott some benefit of the doubt. He is a teenager (though that’s not much of an excuse) and we know he and Stiles joke about some shitty things, like dead people being ‘the best thing to happen to this town’ so sure, fine, Scott said something shitty because....he’s a moody teen?

But the show didn’t just have him do that. It had him do that, gave us this fucking heartwrenching shot of Derek’s face, and then...that was it. No one called Scott out. Scott didn’t feel guilty. He never took back what he said. It would be one thing he said something awful and then grew as a person and fucking matured or something. But the show first had him condemn the very species which he just joined, then reinforced the idea that werewolves = bad by having what he says go unquestioned.

For a show about werewoles, holy fuck TW hates werewolves. Or...at least...born werewolves. Born werewolves die or become mass murderers or are just plain garbage people. Bitten wolves are...redeemable? Which doesn’t make sense bc they haven’t done anything that needs redeemed just bc they got the bite, willingly or otherwise.

And it’s excruciating, having seen the TW movies. You know that Teen Wolf is a reboot of a Movie (or two, can’t remember)? I loved those movies as a kid. It had the one dude that I can never remember, uh...Michael J Fox. Yah. Him. 1985 and Stiles was a stoner party boy who surfed on top of cars! He drove a van! Scott goes hunting for Stiles’ good cush in the garage. There’s an entire scene of Scott slipping on wet floor during his first change because he can’t find an empty bathroom to freak out in. It’s fucking hilarious. That movie was about accepting yourself and knowing who your real friends are and not letting power/popularity give you a big head. OH. And it was about BORN werewolves. Scott in the movie was the youngest of a LONG LINE of werewolves. We even get to see his pops go wolfy, and it’s fucking adorable. It’s a family thing.

The show is nothing like that. It gives us a Scott who completely gives in to the rush of power and popularity. Harley? Anybody remember Harley? She shows up twice in the first season, and then just poofs out of existence right as Scott (and by extension Stiles) get sucked into the popular crowd. Scott uses his abilities on the lacrosse field without even a flicker of concern abt exposing himself or cheating (tho, tbf, scott in the movie Literally shifts on the basketball court in front of everyone...and they just sort of keep cheering him on after a minute? ALSO: I point it out constantly, but that’s what the show is referencing when Derek asks Stiles “When he shifts on the field, what do you think they’re going to do? Just keep cheering him on?” It’s a joke about the movie.

TBH, the show is literally just Jeff Davis shitting on the movies all the time. He makes Derek the actual teen wolf (The basketball, the smirk, being born a wolf, I’m honestly surprised they didn’t name Paige Boof) and fucking traumatizes him. He turns born wolves into the enemy/freaks and makes it so Scott ‘overcomes’ being a werewolf without ever accepting himself. He keeps the secret from his parents (whereas in the movie his dad already knows and they actually talk about it). Like, I get wanting to make it into a dark teen drama, and introducing hunters and whatever. But they lost so many core elements of the source material. :(

Anyway, my heart is broken and I want to hug Derek Hale for the next ten years. Also, I love you for hopping into my asks and giving me your thoughts. <3

#personal #go for it #Meta Ramblings #I use a lot of italics bc i'm adhd and it helps me focus on long sections of text #Anonymous

[ziracona]

I love the bits you’ve been doing of the DBD crew interacting with the scream cast. You have any other ideas/hcs about them?

Yeah! So, since they dealt with a Ghostface and Jane runs a huge talk show, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before Sidney is asked on to talk about her book, and Gale just to talk—Dewey too, if he’s up for it. Considering her personal experience, even though it’s not with the supernatural, I think Sidney would be inclined to believe them all—epsecially after meeting Jane in person, and they’d get talking about their respective experiences and lives.

Since Quentin, Nancy, and Kate at least are already canonically fans of her book, Out of Darkness, I feel like all three would jump at the chance to meet her for real—especially afte Jane says she’s exactly like she writes, and really nice and kind. This gets a few of them to meet up with Sid and Jane for a lunch. They hit it off really well, and Sidney is (duly) fascinated by the whole tale, and one of them (Kate or Quentin) asks if she’d like to see some of the stuff first hand, and she does.

Which is how Sidney Prescott ends up walking into Dwight, Jake, and Adam’s 6 Hour Pride & Prejudice marathon at the Indiana cabin Adam talked them into they didn’t expect any company for. Net end result is a bunch of survivors meet Sidney Prescott and have a weird but fun luncheon and she figures out about what this group is like right off the back. It goes well though, and the people who have met Sid end up introducing her to the rest. Gale and Dewey both get ripped in too, and they hang out several times kind of “professionally”, to talk, then just kind of go “huh we’re sort of friends now aren’t we?” And hang out again just because.

Considering respective trauma and having someone who really does get it, I think Laurie would get along pretty great with Sidney. Nancy, David, Kate, and Quentin too. Jane clicks wildly with Gale and they become a terror of unimaginable proportions when working stories together. Min also really likes Gale. Tapp is scared of her but not as scared as he is of Jane.Dwight and Adam get along best with Dewey. Ace flirts too much with Gale, which Gale enjoys becuase it’s goofy and not very serious, but Dewey doesn’t clock that and is like 😨😢😠—dw tho they get that sorted tho. Most of them just kind of group mesh, especially Jeff and Claudette. Jake gets on remarkably well with Mark Kincaid, to both their surprise. Mark: “The god damn system.” Jake, doing a shot of whisky: “The god damn system.”

They meet Kirby too, after a little while, and she and Nea click over funny physical therapy rehab stories. It’s also just kinda nice to meet new people you know really are at least close to as fucked up as you are because of life, and it provides for some great closure and solidarity comfort.

Meg is ecstatic about meeting Sidney and tells her she told Ghostface “Let’s see if I’m Sidney Prescott material” as a threat before kicking his ass. Sidney likes their story about doing this a lot, and it’s the only thing that convinces her to give Frank a chance eventually. She likes Susie right away.

Adam and Sidney bond over author stuff (Gale could, but she’s way into chasing stories right now, so she pops in and out of those conversations to throw advice like confetti).

It’s weirder for them meeting the killers. Since that’s not exactly common knowledge, they don’t tell any of them at first who Jeff’s kids or Meg’s girlfriend or Claudette’s brother, Quentin and Min’s mom, Laurie’s Brother were. I think it comes out entirely accidental over a dinner becuase one of them got so comfortable around the Scream friends they completely forgot in the instant it wasn’t common knowledge. It’s uh—it’s kind of a mess. Sort of a shocked silence, then a, “I’m sorry—what?” From Gale, a panicked shit shit shit do we lie? What’s the lie? From around the table, who to their credit were definitely going to lie and try to cover, but I think it’s Philip who gets outed and he’s there, and well, he’s Philip. So he just sets down his utensils and is like “That’s true. Please don’t tell anyone. It’s...hard to explain, and understand, and I don’t want anyone to come under fire for not turning me in when we arrived.”

And like, it’s been a couple months, so they know Philip, and even itching for the hot goss Gale is willing (and dying) to listen and hear this, so they get the real version from him, kind of start to finish, and take it...wildly well. Considering. Susie gives the second part of her story (“Yeah you knew I was a killer, but I didn’t just disobey and turn on the Entity—I killed three of them before I did that, and hurt more. Because I was terrified of getting killed.”). It’s a lot to process, but like, they get why they can’t say. Gale starts pushing that it would be wildly useful to include, maybe anonymously? That one of them was a killer for real in the realm. So people have more in their arsenal if they ever get taken. Susie already kind of supplies that, but an honest to god full version? Complete 360? And if the details were vague and it was published anonymously, no one would know which of them it had been—probably most would assume Anna which—well—technically isn’t wrong either... And the survivors consider that.

Benedict, who had been keeping distance out of a fear Gale tripping him up and revealing more than he was supposed to, finally meets the gang after this, and so does Sally, who they’d been trying to not have mingle too much out of fear of the same thing. It’s uh. It’s super weird. Having not lived it, just knowing what the killers did, and not having lived through the face part of that heel-face turn. Like. Yikes. The Legion are especially hard, becuase they make the least sense. Philip didn’t know, Sally was broken mentally and manipulated, Anna was feral, more or less so was Michael (who is the only one they are not told about. Laurie guards her secrets. Guards them. Eventually tells Sidney, but only Sidney. And talks to Michael first.) Legion on the other hand? They were scared, but that’s the only real excuse. So, that one’s hard. That one takes awhile. But Susie is so miserable about her past and frank about it, and so is Joey, they’re a lot easier—especially Susie, by a mile, considering how many bullets she was ready to take. Frank and Julie are harder, and the Legion’s pasts aren’t actually so much ‘told’ as figured out. Susie is the only one to admit, Gale, who has been reading up, makes a guess like a statement, and her poker face isn’t good enough, and they just kinda know then.

They prove to be trustworthy (thank god—after dinner everyone [once alone] is like “Philip what the fuck man TuT don’t throw yourself under busses I’m begging you.”), so it works out, but it takes a little time to adjust to some of that. Eventually though, things smooth, and all three become semi-regulars to see. Most of their friends and family are dead, so it’s a nice addition to the Scream fam’s social lives too. Gale sometimes pitches in with Tapp and Meg’s work when she can. They meet up when in town. It’s just. It’s really nice, for all of them. They feel just a little more understood, and not like aliens back home. It’s a healing experience for the whole gang.

Sidney gets a lot of the younger survivors following her like ducklings for a while wanting to ask questions and also stealing her style becuase this is just how Meg and Nea and Susie will be sometimes. It’s cute though. She gets so many damn interviews, but for once they’re just motivated by curiosity and excitement at solidarity and inspiration, not a grab for network views or something to boost reputation, and it’s...it’s really nice. To have people that want to know for the reasons you’d want a person to want to know that kind of shit for.

#ask #anonymous #in living memory (fic) #in living memory #dead by daylight #ilm spoilers #scream

[gvnchvcks]

A few days or maybe a week into being hired is when Fiona finds out most of the crew live in the penthouse with Geoff, at which point she immediately demands a sleepover. Nails will be painted, hair will be braided, boys will be talked about, nobody is safe

YES, SO MUCH YES, I LOVE THIS OKAY SO-

Fiona gets this idea because she wants to know more about the crew as a whole and she wants to hang with her newfound family, and what better way to get to know someone than when it's 4 am and you're all tired as hell telling secrets or something?? So she calls Geoff up and is like, "Hey dad can I have a sleepover?" (Yes she actually says that, you cant convince me otherwise) and Geoff is like ?? What? And so she explains her plan to him and he's automatically on board. They have no jobs coming up for at least a month, why not let loose? So she makes a huge group chat for the entire crew to let them know, and also she's like, wait why dont you guys have a group chat already wth

So now everyone is ready and hyped!! She shows up at the penthouse super early that morning to help Jack and Ryan prepare for having 11 people in it for one whole night. (We all know Gav isn't finna help, Geoff is asleep, and Michael and Jeremy are helping as well, but mostly with cleaning up a bit and finding entertainment) By 2 in the afternoon, things look great!! The furniture in the living room has been moved around a bit so there's enough room in the middle, where a bunch of pillows and blankets are likely gonna be placed. There's a Switch and an X-Box by the tv, ready to be played. Board and card games like Twister, Uno, and Monopoly are set to the side, ready to cause trouble. Snacks are spread throughout the room, unopened sodas, beer, candy, and chip bags. It all looks great, and Fiona is so excited!! The first one to arrive is Matt, Switch and two boxes of donuts in hand. Then, the Twins, Trevor and Alfredo. Wearing matching adult sized onesies they picked up along the way! And finally, Lindsay. She's a bit latez but nobody questions it because it's well. It's Lindsay.

Everyone is finally here!! The livingroom and kitchen are full of people chatting and playing games. (Lets say they're playing Animal Crossing bc I'm obsessed lol) and Geoff is even out of bed now too. Everyone went all out on this, and Fiona couldn't be happier. All wearing pajamas and sitting on the floor or laying on the couches and chairs, like the children they all are on the inside. Eating candy, even making a bit of a mess, but they'll just clean it up later. It's around 10 pm when Lindsay calls for everyone's attention from her spot on the floor.

"So, as you all know, I was a bit late today. BUT do you know why that is?"

A few wrong answers later, she digs into a backpack she brought with her and out comes a slew of makeup, brand new, and a ton of face paint and nail polish. Fiona squeals and is like, "You actually brought it, yesss! Who's our first victim?"

Michael and Geoff immediately nope out of there and head to the kitchen, but everyone else seems game. Especially Gavin and Alfredo, who practically jump in front of the two girls, tripping over people along the way. Gavin occasionally wears a bit of makeup or nail polish here or there, so he wants his face painted! His mistake? Asking Lindsay to do it. 30 minutes later, she's done with her masterpiece. Gavin looks in the mirror, expecting to see a mess, but he actually doesn't hate it? A gold drips painted from his forehead that go over his left eye, and a small gold heart under his right eye. He actually looks really cool! Then, he turns around to show the others, and they laugh?? Why are they laughing? He looks pristine! He looks again. Oh. That's not a heart. It's a dick. He let's out one of his signature loud squawks of shock and disappointment, with a "Lindsayyy!!" Thrown in for good measure, and jumps over the others to run to the kitchen sink.

During all of this though, Fiona and Alfredo arent laughing. Fiona is laser focused on making Fredo the hottest person in the room. And she does. She stares at her work, nearly an hour after she started, and is proud. Alfredo is loving it too, making kissy faces at the other crew members, posing and showing off his red nails while Jack takes pictures of him using a Polaroid she bought just for this occasion.

Anyways, that's all done. Nobody else wants to get their faces done, in fear they'll end up like poor ol Gav, so they move on (tho Fredo and Gav do keep their looks, Gav is just missing the "heart") Things calm down again for a bit, and everyone is telling stories. Fiona is in the middle of talking about what her life in France was like before moving to Los Santos, when she realizes she's been subconsciously braiding Matt's hair while he sits in front of her on the floor. She stops and is joking like, "aw dude wtf I've been touching Matt's hair" and then Matt is like, "Yeah but this is actually not a bad look if I'm being honest" and the others agree with him! Michael says it makes him look a bit less like an animal (I swear I love Matt lmao but you know they'd bully him during this, nobody is safe) and then Trevor is like, "you should do Ryan's next!! He has long hair too!!"

Ryan is against it at first but eventually is forced to take Matt's spot on the floor, and by the time Fiona's story is done, so is Ryan's new look, and lemme tell ya. That boy can ROCK a braid. Everyone is like, "Daaaamn, Ry, look at you GO" and "Of course he looks better than Matt, the dude was a model" and this actually makes Ryan kinda happy!! He likes his friends giving him validation, sorry I don't make the rules.

The night continues as normal. More stories are told, and they slowly start to get deeper as it gets later. Stories of their past lives, their first kills and first crimes, and romance too. They talk about their worst and best past relationships, what they're looking for in a partner, things like that.

(This is about to get a bit shippy, so I'm sorry if you dislike any of these ships, they're just the ones I personally like and wanted to write about, with my own headcanons for each character and their sexualities. If anybody is interested in me talking about my personal HC's for that, send in an ask tho cause this is already kinda long lol)

At one point, Trevor actually draws attention to himself. Things are quiet and more chill now. Everyone is being supportive, so this is good as time as any-

"Uh, actually, I kinda wanna tell you guys something since we're on the topic. I'm..bisexual."

Everyone is silent for a second, and he actually starts to get nervous, then Lindsay pipes up with

"Dude, hell yeah, bi gang! Love wins, what's up!"

Everyone smiles and laughs, and Fiona highfives Lindsay. Geoff is the next to speak up, "That's great news, Trevor. When did this realization hit you, bud? I've known you for a while now, I had no idea."

"Oh, it was actually maybe..a few months ago? A year maybe? Yeah. About half a year ago I'd say."

Michael chimes in next,

"Wait, isn't that also when you found Fredo and introduced him to Geoff?"

A few oooooh's ring out and Trevor tries to hide his face by looking down and chuckling.

"Uh, yeah. It is.. Anyways! What about you guys? Jeremy, what's your type?" He looks to the shorter male who's lounging on a beanbag near the tv, trying to divert everyone's attention from himself. Jeremy thinks for a second and takes a sip of his beer.

"Hm. Not sure. I like tough people who have a soft side usually, just like me.."

As he names off a few other things he finds attractive, Jack shoots a knowing look over to Ryan. Ryan's had a thing for Jeremy for a while now, and only she knows about it. When you're the crew mom, your kids tell ya everything.

This continues for a while longer with more almost-confessions, before people eventually start slowly passing out. (After a few games of Uno of course. The Monopoly stayed untouched, and they started a game of Twister but were to drunk to stay still and kept toppling onto each other painfully.)

This is a bit longer than I intended and I left out a LOT I wanted to put in but I don't wanna make these too long aishsijsjs I'm not good at writing lol I'm sorry, but I hope you like this!! I could elaborate on other aspects of anyone is curious, I'll be accepting these asks all day so keep em coming 💚💚💚

#achievement hunter #fahc #fahc fiona #fahc gavin #fahc geoff #fahc alfredo #fahc lindsay #fahc michael #fahc matt #fahc jack #fahc trevor #im lazy with tags sorry

[heeres-suffering]

Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?” 

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life... 

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long. 

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t. 

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with. 

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat. 

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad. 

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake. 

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature) 

#bmc #be more chill #squipemy #brooke lohst #jeremy heere #jeremy queere #puppylove ship #puppy love ship #ot3 #ot4 #ot5 #polyshipping #darkfic #noncon // #n/sfw // #nsft // #richmo #mashed motato #oc #text

[peaky-shelby]

Save The Last Dance For me | Chris Evans [2]

one Warnings: Lots of fluff, humor and fun, a little cursing too

summary: After years of separation, Chris and Caroline meet again on the wedding of their mutual friend and uh well life is a very funny thing, ain’t it?

words: 1.300+

Author’s note: Alright angels this is part of the story and most likely the final enjoy and have fun reading.

Caroline’s work had payed out to say the least. The ceremony had gone as planned and now everyone was back in the hotel, drinking and dancing to the joyful music. The kids were running around the pool playing and giving heart attacks to the parents. The single men were drinking and trying to flirt which didn’t really work for everyone. The single woman were trying to avoid the single man and of course the bride and groom were enjoying their night to the fullest.

Somewhere in between the chaos and people was Caroline, finally relaxed and rid off all angst for tonight she was dancing and having fun with her friends. She danced with a couple of men through the night, laughed at some of their jokes and flirted. Chris watched as she moved from one man’s arms to another’s and he didn’t blame her. That’s what single people do in weddings right? But for some reason something was bothering him as he watched her dancing in her green dress with everyone but him. He tried focusing on his, last minute found, date, Stella but there was someone else he was saving his Last dance for and Stella knew.

The beautiful blonde was sitting on a table, having what seemed like a very flirtatious conversation with a young man when chris decided to interrupt the moment. “There you are I’ve been looking for you for the last hour.” He said, taking a seat next to her. Caroline turned and looked at him with her threatening eyes. “I am Chris by the way” He introduced himself to the unknown man.

“That’s funny, you introducing yourself would suggest that you are staying.” Caroline said, faking a laugh.

“You are Captain america! Wow! Dude i love those movies! I’m Mike.”

“Mike! It’s always nice to meet a fan.”

“Speaking about fans, where the hell is your other fan and why aren’t you with her?” asked Caroline, starting to lose her patience.

Chris looked in Caroline’s direction “I thought I could meet more fans.”

“Wait- you two know each other?”

“He has been the biggest pain on my ass ever since preschool.” She answered

“But that’s only metaphorically speaking of course, it looks like you’re gonna have the honor of being the pain up her ass tonight-”

“EVANS!” Caroline spat his name out in anger, hitting her hand on her table. He winked. Mike stayed silent. 

“I should warn you tho she has had a history with lice on her hair-”

“oh my god” Caroline sighed, leaning back on her chair and closing her eyes.

“You know what?” Mike said, getting up “I’m gonna go it’s getting late.”

“Oh mike! It was nice to meet you” Said chris, smiling at him and ones he was gone he looked back at Caroline. “Are you ok Care?” he pouted.

“Currently thinking of one hundred ways i could kill you” she paused raising her finger “one hundred and three.”

He laughed. “Oh come one you could smell from miles away that he was a dick, i did you a favor.”

Caroline opened her eyes “You sure you weren’t just smelling yourself?.”

He laughed, nodding “touche”

“Well, I gotta go find someone to get laid with tonight so I have no time for this.”

Caroline got up to leave but Chris held her arm, making her look down at him. “You sure you wanna do that? I mean he has probably already told the thing about the lice to his friends and-”

“I’m gonna kill you- No! actually i will bury you alive and let the ants eat your flesh until you die.”

“Come on! There’s one man in this wedding who doesn’t think you have lice, you should dance with him.”

“Honestly? I rather I had lice.” she answered quickly when she realized he was talking about himself. Chris got up and stood tall, close to her. Now he was the one looking down  at her. 

“That’s funny because you did call him pretty this morning.” He whispered. Caroline gulped and bit her lip, she didn’t have a quick remark this time. Just as she was ready to attempt getting away, chris pulled her on the dance floor as Save The Last Dance For Me by Michael Buble, played on the background. “You love this song don’t you?” He asked as he spun her around.

“So you remember I was in love with Michael Buble but you can’t remember my birthday?” She questioned while moving along with him. Holding his hand with her right hand and his shoulder with her left. 

“Ok A) I do remember your birthday and B) of course I remember you were in love with him, he was my biggest competition in high school” He smirked and spun her around again. Then he pulled her against his body, her back against his chest and his arms around her, holding her as he moved his hips in the rhythm of the music. His balanced his chin on her shoulder, his lips caressing her ear as he sang the lyrics of the song, sending shivers sown her spine.

“Baby don't you know I love you so Can't you feel it when we touch I will never never let you go I love you oh so much”

He turned her around again, making her face him. He smirked and she let out a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re wrong” she said “your biggest competition in high school was Matt.”

Chris shrugged. “But then he thought you had lice right?”

Caroline couldn’t help it, she started laughing and Chris could swear her laugh was contagious. He stepped backwards and pulled away as the last refrain of the song came on. he held on to her right hand and reeled her back in, she always came back to him and maybe this time he would be lucky enough to keep her. She crushed against his body just like she did her entire life and breathed out a heavy breath, like she was letting out a secret. Chris heard that secret even if it had no words and he moved his arms on her back, keeping her close to him but as he leaned down just a bit to finally feel her lips upon his they were interrupted by his fans.

“Oh my god you are chris evans. It’s true! You are actually here!„ said an unknown girl totally throwing herself on Chris. Caroline stepped backwards and scoffed at the sight of it. She stood there waiting gotg the girl to leave and wtwj Chris kindly excused himself, he took caroline by the hand and started walking away from the crowd. They walked until they reached the beach next to the hotel. When Caroline’s heels touched the sand, she was quick to take them off and hold them in her hands so she’d walk easier. Chris pulled her in his chest again, holding one hand behind her bar. “No one will interrupt us here„ he whispered and she raised her head to look at him out of reflex. She smirked and pulled away, Chris’ face dropped as he watched her move away from him.

“Where are you going?„

Caroline ignored his question and walked closer to the water. Right there were the waves would hit her feet smoothly. Chris followed behind her, with his hands in his pockets. “You ok blondie?„ he asked. Caroline tilted her head and looked up at the sky. The stars looked so beautiful away from the lights. “It just looks so beautiful, doesn’t it?„

Chris smiles, looking at her “so beautiful.„ he repeated her words. She blushed at his comment and looked towards the sea. With one swift movemt she unzipped her dress letting it fall on the sand. Leaving her only with her bra and her underwear. The man watched surprised and confused “what are you doing?„

“I’ve been here for the entire weekend and had no time to swim.„ she explained casually.

Chris didn’t waste any second before taking of his shirt and his pants, staying in his underwear. He ran towards her and stood behind her. The water was freezing, Caroline’s feet were trembling as she got father in the water but she ignored it. She could feel him standing behind her, his warm breath was hitting the back of her neck. He placed his hands around her bare body, holding her to his chest. “You’re trembling„ he whispered in her ear.

“I can handle it„ she shot back quickly, earning a laugh for Chris. He shrugged “ok.„

Before she had anytime to process what was going on, he had already picked her up from her waist and then threw her in the water, laughing as she hit the waves.

“You asshole!„ she shouted in anger when she came out of the water.

“I thought you said you could handle it.„

Caroline threw water on him in response, making him back away as the cold drops fell on his chest. He screamed jokingling, and tried to shield his chest with his hands “s-stop” he called out laughing. He got closer to her and held her hands so she’d stop. He looked in her face and her rosy lips had turned purple from the cold.

“You gotta stop!„ he repeated in a more serious tone. Caroline stood loking at him like a kid, before pushing him “You peed on my bag!„

The boy was obviously taken off guard. This was the last thing he expected to come out of her lips. “What? That was almost 30 years ago!„

Caroline splashed more water on to him “it was my favorite bag!„ she shouted “and you told Matt I had lice and put honey on my shampoo and spiders on-„

She didn’t get to finish her sentence Chris had already collided his lips with her. The words got caught up in her throat and melted with his kiss. He pulled back on a little to take a breath and look at her eyes. “If I knew that’s what it would take to shut you up I would have done it a long time ago!„

Caroline smacked him on the shoulder and he giggled at her reaction “you are adorable when you’re angry.„

“I’m always angry at you.„ she mumbled under her breath.

“Exactly.„ he responded, making a step closer again and looking at her lips. She was the one to kiss him first now, she pulled his neck down with her hand and he pulled her close as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pulled her up, holding her from her thighs and walked out of the water with her. When he reached the sand he let her down on the ground slowly, and hovered above her. She was shaking as the wing crushed on her at body. He stroked a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead before taking his white shirt that he had left the on the sand earlier and making her wear it. “We should go inside, you’ll freeze„ he whispered and she nodded.

How does a part 3 sound? I hope you liked this💕💕 [ @jeanily3000 ]

#imagines #marvel #marvel imagines #chris evans x reader #chris evans one shot #chris evans #chris evans imagine #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers #avengers #actors

[softforcal]

Slytherin Ashton and his quiet Ravenclaw gf. They’re both super clever but they use it in different ways and she definitely has a little bit of a mischievous streak ahhh it’d be so cute

SLYTHERIN ASH X RAVENCLAW READER

(BONUS: they’re ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ to 1st years)

-Ash is a big personality

-he’s the wild Slytherin guy always laughing at everything and up to no good

-so, tbh, he doesn’t really notice the quiet Ravenclaw reader at first

-i can totally see you knowing Slytherin!Michael because he’s also a mischievous piece of shit and he really appreciates your mischievous sense of humour

-so maybe you’re with Michael one day and Ashton shows up and watches as you leave and he asks Michael who you are and Michael just rants about how amazing you are (but you aren’t his type)

-Ash is interested based on Michael’s description, and that fact that as you ran off he caught a glimpse of your face and was like “damn. she cute.”

-he notices you’re in a few of his classes but he’s not about to just come sit next to you and strike up a conversation

-Slytherin Ash is calculated. he’s gotta come up with a plan

-Slytherin Ash also has a bit of a reputation for being a flirt and although this works on innocent little Hufflepuffs… he’s worried about its success rate on Ravenclaws

-Slytherin Ash has a bit of a thing for being a protector? which is kind of odd because usually Slytherin’s only stick up for themselves… but he has a weak spot for first years

-so when he sees you stand up to Filch for a first year who doesn’t know any better, he gets soft immediately

-as Filch rolls his eyes and leaves and the little first year Slytherin kid runs off, Ash approaches you and is like “look at you, coming for my title as first year protector.”

-you recognize him, Michael talks about Ash a lot and he is fucking gorgeous, and the Slytherin Quidditch Beater

-you laugh and Ash gets even more soft because you are beautiful

-”step up your game.” you tell him as you leave

-he is shook

-he sees Michael later and before he can say anything, Michael starts laughing his ass off about this prank he’s going to pull and your name comes up which draws Ash back to the convo and Michael explains it was your idea because apparently Filch was being an ass to some first year

-so not only did you stand up to Filch, but you planned a prank to get back at him too?

-wow, you’re really coming for his first year protector crown

-and he can’t have that now can he?

-it becomes almost like a game

-any time he sees a first year getting picked on he jumps in

-even if it looks like you’re handling it, he swoops in because fuck, it’s his crown

-one day as a first year thanks the two of you and leaves you turn to him like “you know there isn’t some actual crown for being a first year protector right? you know this isn’t a competition?”

-”you just think there isn’t a crown because i’m the one that has it.” he teases

-rolling your eyes but he is pretty cute

-you continue to be general acquaintances for a few months, protecting first year rights and the such

-then one day you and him go help out a first year and as he leaves he says “thank mom and dad.”

-you and Ash are shook

-finding out there is an underground joke amongst all the first years that the two of you are the mom and dad and they all ship you

-finding out that it has also really helped in inter-house relationships

-but you two aren’t even dating tho

-straight up everyone in your houses knows about it and your friends tease the shit out of you

-none of the Slytherins are about to say anything to Ashton about it, except his buds who all laugh about it

-especially Michael

-until he realizes Ashton not laughing with him is because he’s kind of into you

-this makes Michael laugh even more

-and Michael is a good go between so the next time he sees you he just starts laughing and once you calm him down he tells you that Ashton actually likes you

-you’re kind of shook now

-Michael thinks its hilarious

-cuz he can totally tell that you not laughing with him means you like Ashton too

-”you two are both so fucking easy to read it’s pathetic.” Michael laughs, “just go ask the guy out, fuck, why are you both so fucking useless.”

-he means well though

-you and Ash both see Filch barreling down towards a first year at the same time and you both jump in

-when Filch sees you both there he leaves because he can’t fight both of you

-you turn to Ash and you say “we should go out” at the same time he says “wanna date?”

-”i said it first.” “no i did.” “no. i did.” “so thats a yes right?” “yes.”

-the first year standing there and being shook then running off to tell everyone that mom and dad are going on a date

-you two click really well because Ashton is smart as fuck

-like, you’re kind of shocked he’s in Slytherin

-until he kisses you for the first time

-his body pressing yours against the cold, stone wall as his hands tease the soft skin of your stomach just under your shirt, his lips rough as one hand cups your face. he pulls away with one of your lips between his teeth which makes you both laugh

-he’s a fucking Slytherin

-going back to your common room after the date and everyone knows that it happened because some first year was screaming “mom and dad are going on a date” down the hallway earlier

-and this fuck. bit your neck. and gave you a fucking ‘snake bite’.

-going to class the next day and he sits next to you and you immediately cuss him out for your neck because what the fuck

-he laughs because you seem like a nice Ravenclaw but you can be kind of saucy

-he wont put them anywhere people can see next time

-other classmates teasing that mom and dad are sitting next to each other

-”give us a show Ash.” some of the Slytherins laugh

-even the Ravenclaws are grinning

-he looks to you and is like “well what do you say, mama?”

-”you did not seriously just call me that.” you laugh but he reaches out and grabs your face and you’re giggling as he kisses you and the entire class cheers

-the teacher walks in and groans because of course this has been the hot gossip of the month, “yes, we’re all glad Mr. Irwin and Ms. L/N are dating, now lets focus in charms shall we?”

-he even sits next to you in study hall and introduces himself to your Ravenclaw friends, then, to everyones surprise, he actually studies

-”you better be prepared to feel really dumb, Slytherin boy.” one of your friends muses, “Y/N’s very smart.”

-and Ash just grins, “i know. it’s great.”

-all your Ravenclaw friends melting because he doesn’t even fight the fact that you’re probably going to be smarter than him, in fact, he adores it

-so the two of you continue dating and when you walk down the hallways together all the first years smile at the two of you, some even high fives Ashton which is hilarious

-his arm goes over your shoulders which is such a Slytherin thing

-the sex is super Slytherin too

-like. its dirty and kinky

-you realize from day to day stuff that Ash kind of likes it when the kids call him dad and you wonder what he’d think about you calling him daddy

-so the two of you are in his room and he’s between your legs, your fingers in his curls and you whimper out Daddy and he pulls away and just stares at you for a second then grins, attacking you with even more ferocity

-it’s the fucking kinkiest thing ever

-he is a savage

-he devours you every chance he gets

-people in your year begin to realize the look you and Ash exchange any time one of the pure first years calls you mom and dad

-Slytherin Calum is the first to just state: “bet she calls him daddy in the sack.” and the entire Slytherin Common room stops and stares at him because holy fuck he’s right

-so the entire Slytherin house in your year knows the dirty secret and it’s just a matter of time before it gets out to the Ravenclaws, Gryffindor finds out last but everyone knows

-the first years have no idea though

-so they keep calling you mom and dad and they think it’s funny

-straight up you and Ashton are together a long time

-its an amazing relationship because he adores your brain

-he adores you

-you’re still a mischievous little shit and he loves that too

-like you and Michael still pull pranks and Ash helps too

-studying with Ashton and he works really fast because he’s determined to throw his book to the ground and start eating…. you know what i mean fam

-snakey tongue

-a sneaky little snakey Slytherin tongue

-the two of you are such a power couple

-going to all his Quidditch games wearing his scarf

-”look, mom’s wearing dad’s scarf.”

-a first year stealing the mic from announcer Michael just to scream “we love mom and dad”

-you two are just a meme. it’s straight up.

-so you two are together a long time and you two go up a year and are still together

-someone lets it slip to the second years that they shouldn’t call you and Ash mom and dad because you call Ash daddy

-the second years are all mortified

-but they’ve already spread the legacy of calling you mom and dad to the new first years

-and they can’t just tell the new first years that the entire thing is dirty as fuck

-so the second years are in on the secret now.

-these poor fucking first years

-this concept is just my life okay. fuck.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin x reader #hogwarts!au #hogwarts!5sos #au #hogwarts!ashton irwin #hogwarts ashton irwin #slytherin ashton irwin #slytherin ashton #slytherin!ashton irwin #softforcal #hc #ravenclaw!reader #ravenclaw reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer

[official-michael-afton]

37

“Welcome to fatherhood.”

[I’m making this one fluffy because... I want fluff]

“And he shows up a day late with Starbucks...” Michael joked and chided to himself as he stepped into the Office of the Pizzeria Simulator at 12:17 am, already late for his shift. He couldn’t help it, though. He was already running late due to troubles at home and, while he was walking to work, decided to fetch himself a milkshake just to get him through the night. Dark chocolate. Just the way he likes it. “Okay let’s- aAAA-” He screamed at the sight before him-

Scraptrap, smelly as ever, was already in the office, sitting on the desk next to the computer... it’s a miracle the weight of the animatronic didn’t break anything “Ah, Michael, there you are. You’re late.” His eyes narrowed “I had an entire moment where I was going to say some cool speech, and I made my way into this office to kill you and you weren’t even there!!! Son, I raised you to be more punctual.”

“I raIsEd yOu To bE mOrE PuncTuaL” Michael parroted mockingly, taking a seat in his usual guard chair. “... You’re not gonna kill me now tho, right?”

“Of course not, the moment was already ruined!!!” William, now Scraptrap, huffed. His eyes rolled in his usual dramatic flair before his gaze fell on the milkshake Michael was holding “You were running late and got a drink on the way regardless?! Michael, what am I to do with you... ... What flavor is it?”

“Dark Chocolate, duh. Come on, Pops, I thought you knew my tastes by now.” Mike replied, sitting back in his seat and sipping from his shake.

“Of course, of course... I prefer vanilla, myself.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say, you bottom.”

“What did you just call me?” William raised an eyebrow

“Did I stutter?” He grinned, cocky as ever, and took another long sip from his shake as he reveled in his father’s furious and flustered reaction. Oh, if the man were still human, his face would be so red right now! “But uh- I was only running late because of our cat! Oh, Father, I love Beans so much, but you should see some of the shite she puts us through!”

Scraptrap grinned, leaning forward a bit to engage in the conversation better “Ohhh? Spill the tea, son.”

“... Only if you promise to never use the phrase ‘spill the tea’ again.” Mike chuckled, relaxing as he put on his storytelling persona “So, Anim, Val and I have company today, right? It’s my good pal Li, you probably remember her since she worked at Fazbear’s Fright.”

“Ah, yes. Gave her a heart attack by trying to just ask for a phone. Lovely woman.”

“Right. Well- she visits because we haven’t seen her in a while, and she actually knows about Beans, so what does she do? She brings a little baggie of catnip for her.”

“Awww-”

“Don’t ‘Awww’ just yet, it gets worse. So the four of us go into the other room to chat, I introduce her to Anim and Val, things are going great. Well. While we’re in the other room, Beans goes and- and- she gets into the bag of catnip.”

“She didn’t.”

“She DID.” Michael gave an overdramatic sigh before continuing. “So Anim has the vacuum for the catnip everywhere, Val is trying to close as many doors as possible to keep Beans from yeeting off somewhere we can’t find her- speaking of Beans she is going supersonic speeds at this point- And here I’M trying to grab Beans to calm her down and... well.” He rolled up his jacket sleeves, revealing cat scratches and cuts everywhere- some of the worse cuts covered by Foxy bandaids(courtesy of Anim himself <3) “Yeeeaaaaah.”

Scraptrap just laughed, his voice straining against the audio box that made his voice sound more distorted and robotic. “Ohhhh Michael, welcome to Fatherhood~”

“YOU HAVE A LOT OF ROOM TO TALK, FATHER!!! I’M A HECKIN ZOMBIE-”

#my fics #drabble prompts #william afton #scraptrap #michael afton #this aint canon whatsoever because FFPS and Officialverse didnt happen same time but #entertain me for this i just wanted bonding time #whatstheanswer42

[gingervsblondie]

Blondie Goes Latin (1941)

2:27 AM, Thursday, 12 December

Y’all ready for this, buh buh buh bah bah bah ok let’s watch a Blondie.

2:28

Welp, in looking this one up to watch it, I’ve spoiled for myself that this one features Dagwood dressed as a woman. Let’s see how I feel about that once it’s in context.

2:31

Watching it on Prime again for better picture quality, but I’m not falling for their tricks a second time so I skipped the 4 minutes and 20 seconds (nicenicenice) of inexplicable preview footage spoiling the rest of the movie.

Although I’ve already spoiled that Dagwood goes Dragwood so who cares anymore.

2:44

GOT MY SNACKS LET’S GET STARTED

2:46

The usual theme song’s back, and it’s just occurred to me: The lyrics go

“Life with us is fun and crazy,

Baby Dumpling, (read: Alexander Hamilton Bumstead) us and Daisy

What a family

Incredible

Bumstead-able”

Now I know that later on, Cookie Bumstead, their new daughter, will be introduced. I wonder if they adjust the theme song when that happens.

2:56

Starting off strong with a pretty basic continuity error. Dagwood, with shaving cream on his face, runs outside, realizing he’s packed his razor into his luggage which he gave to the cab driver. As soon as he’s outside, the shaving cream is gone from his face.

HOLY SHIT I SPOKE TOO SOON. It wasn’t a bad continuity, it was a good visual gag! He runs into the postman, as per usual, and when they get up, the shaving cream has swapped over onto posty’s face!

Apologies to Blondie Goes Latin. They did a good and I assumed it was a bad because I guess I don’t think highly enough of the standard of production in the Blondie film franchise.

3:01

AND they followed it up with a SECOND solid visual gag! The posty puts his hat and mailbag on Dagwood, goes into the doorway, and runs towards Dagwood, either to get the shaving cream back onto the right face or just out of pure vitriol and malice. He misses, we hear him crash, and the camera cuts to the cab, which is flipped on its side.

That got a full laugh out of me.

3:04

AnD ThEn ThE ShAvInG CrEaM swaps over to the CaB DrIVeR’S FaCE!!!

3:06

AHB*: Mommy, is Mr. Dithers going with us too?

Blondie: Of course, dear, he’s taking us along as his guests.

AHB: Why?

Blondie: Because he needs a rest.

AHB: Why doesn’t he take Mrs. Dithers?

Blondie: Because Mrs. Dithers needs a rest.

AHB: I don’t get it.

Man they always go so hard with the infidelity angle in these fuckin’ flicks.

*Alexander Hamilton Bumstead

3:08

There’s a character Wikipedia tells me is named Manuel Rodríguez, played by one Tito Guízar. So this could be some more (relatively) positive representation, like that guy in Servant Trouble.

3:12

Manuel Rodríguez fuccin immediately seducing Blondie. Nah yeah this is accurate representation.

3:20

This movie got me AGAIN, this time with a kinda surrealist goof. So they’ve found out that Dagwood has to stay behind to close a deal, but Blondie, AHB and Daisy are going with Dithers. Dagwood and Blondie start crying at the thought of being apart. Daisy cries, and how they got that shot I’ve no idea.

At first Dithers is telling them not to act that way, but then he starts crying too. Then Dagwood meets a man at the door who’s there to tell them “All ashore that’s going ashore,” and HE starts crying too. And then as the ship’s whistle sounds, it cuts to this:

3:24

Man and another good goof, Dagwood looks at Blondie and AHB and says he’s gonna shut his eyes so he can remember them just as they are now while they’re apart. Then he runs out the door, immediately crashing into someone.

Is this movie genuinely funnier than usual or am I just in a better mood?

3:28

‘Nother laugh. Dagwood fell while carrying a bunch of drums (in a series of misunderstandings that will eventually lead to him in Dragwood playing the drums with a band that the film is currently introducing, and which is actually kinda interesting and likeable so far) and slid clear across like 20 feet of floor.

3:30

There’s a singing quartet in the band that sounds exactly like the Let’s All Go To The Lobby song.

3:32

The female lead of the band is called Lovey Nelson, and I think I’m in love with her. She’s sassy af.

3:34

I think Michael Jackson might’ve plagiarized some lyrics off Blondie Goes Latin.

3:36

Upon the development that Dagwood’s playing the drums in this, I considered noting that it would be harder to edit that into a Whiplash parody than that one I did with Hop on my YouTube channel.

But then Dagwood did an intense drum solo for like 45 seconds and now I’m not so sure.

3:44

ALERT, ALERT, SENTIENT DOLL, I REPEAT, THERE IS A HAUNTED DOLL IN THE MOVIE, SOMEONE CALL A PRIEST, OR ELSE JUSTIN MCELROY, EITHER WILL DO

3:45

So you’re saying that you don’t have rhythm.

BUT LISTEN WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT THERE-

This Blondie is a musical and I’m down.

3:47

Oh God they’re holding on the doll for soooo loooong

3:58

Alright sun’s getting real low, (Future Euan note: wow, great Avengers: Age of Ultron reference, past Euan.) by which I mean it’s 4 am and I’m gonna go to bed and finish this in the morning.

1:36 AM, Friday, 13 December

Back to it! Looking forward to this given how much I enjoyed it last night.

1:38

Dithers: Falls

Blondie: “Oh, Mr. Dithers! Here’s a drink for you.” Hands glass of water.

Dithers: Drinks, then scrunches up his face in disgust “Oh, that’s water isn’t it?”

1:42

Tito Guízar is now singing in Spanish. It’s interesting, cause it feels totally out of place. Like when Ben Platt sings at the end of the first episode of that show The Politician; it’s clearly just “This person can sing so we better let him sing.” Not so much in a bad way though. Like he’s doing what he’s good at and I like that it’s a bubble of a different culture inserted into this white suburban family sitcom I’m inexplicably exposing myself to.

1:46

This movie’s fuckin’ neat. Blondie’s listening to the song and gets sad cause she misses Dagwood, so she goes out on the deck of the cruise ship that this is all happening on. Tito Guízar follows her out, (I’m pretty sure they’re in front of a projection background) and she says she liked the song but didn’t understand a word of it, so he offers to sing it again in English. And now he is!!! I like that.

It also reminds me of that one creepy Aardman short tho.

1:51

Oh but then Blondie starts singing with him, and it gets to a point where they’re singing simultaneously but Blondie definitely hasn’t heard the words yet. So it morphs from a realistic enough scene to musical rules where people sing at the same time when they’re on the same page.

1:53

HEY how come it hasn’t come up yet in past movies that Penny Singleton (Blondie) can sing this well? Like the intro song is basically just talking, but she can sing.

1:58

Hey, a Dagwood sandwich! DAGWOOD SANDWICH WATCH 2019 that’s what I do when those show up, right? Been a while since one of those has shown up! It, um… fuck, it actually looks pretty good I’d probably take a stab at eating that.

2:00

And the crossdressing begins. Lovey needs Dagwood to get to the orchestra and play the drums, but Dagwood knows he’ll get recognized by Blondie or Dithers or AHB. (He’s not supposed to still be on the boat.) So Lovey opens her closet and hands him a dress.

2:02

Haha, the Dagwood sandwich is actually a plot element. A steward brings it away on a tray down the hall and Blondie sees it, adding to other clues she’s gotten that Dagwood’s on board. There’s a great overly dramatic shot of the sandwich coming into focus as he walks it towards the camera.

2:05

Blondie just barrelled the lens so hard that I felt her looking into my soul.

2:07

This movie continues to be a full on musical. Blondie’s singing the same song from earlier, but without guitar-man there, just on her own sadly. I wonder if this keeps being a thing in later movies or if this is just the one musical Blondie movie.

2:11

Welp, Dagwood’s crying at the emasculation of wearing a dress.

Coooool.

2:13

I like Lovey’s singing. Ruth Terry’s the singer/actor who plays her, looks like she did a lot of movies.

2:15

The quartet had a nice little choreographed routine during this song. I liked it. I like this one you guys! Maybe you should watch it???

Never thought I’d get to that stage with a Blondie movie.

Future Euan Note: I cannot in good conscience recommend the viewing of any Blondie feature film. Statements made within a Blondie watch are subject to fits of madness and delusion.

2:18

Wow um. Blondie said to guitar-man the sentence “Will you do me a favour? Make love to me.”

I mean I talk about how hard they go in these movies with adult relationship drama, but there’s something so direct about “Make love to me.”

2:20

Blondie’s trying to make Dagwood feel bad by making a show of being involved with guitar-man.

Dagwood’s arc better end with becoming a strong independent woman who don’t need no Blondie.

2:25

Man okay but there’s an extended dance sequence and it feels so long and it’s making me want this to be over.

Penny Singleton’s a decent singer but a crap dancer.

Maybe that’s unfair actually. She’s kind of in character and needs to convey intentions and that. Not easy to do when you’re also performing a choreographed dance routine.

I just can’t stand when they play the sound of tap-dancing over an actor who’s clearly not tap dancing.

2:31

Welp. That wasn’t how Dagwood’s arc ended.

2:33

Hehe, they had a satisfying pay-off to earlier gags. First, they had Dagwood run into a steward, the way he does with the posty every movie. Then, just like posty, the steward tried running into Dagwood to get even. But he misses, goes down one of those big ole cartoon ventilation pipes, which leads him to the music hall where he shoots out a grate and penguins across the floor like Dagwood did earlier. Double pay-off.

THEN Dagwood’s being chased by sailors, so he goes down the pipe, penguins as well, as crashes into the steward a second time.

2:41

Recently, for my annual Christmas watch, I watched It’s a Wonderful Life, but for the first time I watched the colourized version. It was really weird seeing this movie I’d watched in black and white on a VHS tape on an old CRT for the first time in full HD on a big TV, and also with the extra dimension that colour lent it.

It’s gonna be some time before we’re gonna be able to do that to any of the Blondie movies, because

A) Nobody’s going to meticulously go frame-by-frame painting in a Blondie movie, and

B) I doubt somebody saved the masters, so these movies probably don’t and won’t exist in HD.

Just gotta wait for upscaling technology to advance real fast, and then for some kind of automated colourization process to get invented. But you know, once those things become possible and accessible, I’ll be on the forefront remastering Blondie.

2:46

And that’s the end of Blondie Goes Latin. An above-average Blondie, and an out-of-the-ordinary one. There were laughs-a-plenty, a crying steam whistle, a creepy-ass haunted doll, Dagwood in Dragwood, and a handful of solid musical numbers.

My Dagwood Sandwich Rating is: a really pleasant sandwich. Like a posh one you’d get at a food court when you’re on vacation. With spices and shit. And you don’t know what the bread is called but it’s not the usual kind of bread you have at home and it’s a bit tough but the sandwich is good. Hell yeah.

#gingervsblondie