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#im not arguing with a man with a middle part like okay whatever you say baby girl
tomcriuse · 3 months
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Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 2001, dir. Peter Jackson
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finedinereception · 6 months
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Why is Sirius on your brain SO much?
Explain in Mario terms
make my brain go -flag pole noise-
haha okay but actually here we go. this is disorganized and more me vomiting my thoughts out and making you look at him but yknow.
the black hole server: the most soul sucking and messed up place to live since america
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thanks for the insightful commentary, buddy
so sirius lives the life of the average True Gamer, in a dark hole full of anime figurines and merchandise or whatever. he likes adding to that collection and then fucking around with it because bloodsport really never died to him. who cares what ign had to say.
unfortunately, like all gamers, his home is not hospitable to most life.
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weaker em beings apparently “enervate and die” within the server. thats delightfully fucked up, and honestly, a vast empty, dark, cold space that sucks the life out of pretty much everything around it and is only truly habitable to one lifeform is an insanely cool idea that i always love.
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uh…. roche limit????
obviously, with such an unfriendly gamer den, sirius himself does not get a lot of company.
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we’ll come back to this next section.
but basically the black hole server is a really cool idea and location that really serves to emphasize what an outside-context issue sirius is. he feels very “other” in this world, in part thanks to where hes made his home.
with friends like these, who needs mega man?
sirius has some… interesting ideas about what is good and reasonable for people. or what constitutes a healthy platonic relationship. actually just relationships in general.
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i think its interesting he jumped straight to this with mega man, when he also harbored apollo flame, who was pretty damn open about his intentions to eventually usurp and subjugate sirius
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WHICH SIRIUS WAS AWARE OF BTW
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apollo flame! oh, you, always on about taking over the universe!
this is weird to say, with what we know about sirius in general and his personality (which we’ll be getting to soon) but… theres this pervasive sense that he views the Rs as a mix between pawns and, like, his perverse version of “friends”
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the use of “our” here is interesting, along with the implication that sirius shares more information with them than he actually needs to
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and the fact that sirius has the tendency to start talking to himself in the middle of a conversation…
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and the fact that he enforces a friendly relationship between those who dont get along…
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theres just a weird sense of sirius “playing” with dynamics, and while its certainly useful to him, its easy to imagine a hint of curiousity in there. the exploration of one of the only things that cant be taken by force.
of course you have blue skin and pronouns
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look at him. look at him. hes based on a squid. hes got that squid drip. i think sirius would be into deep sea life. im choosing to view this as an in-character choice. he likes squid now, okay?
also. he canonically sparkles. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THIS SPARKLING SQUID TWINK. GOD. HE MAKES ME INSANE.
i also dont know where else to mention this, but hey what was up with mu metal. is he tied to mu. what was that about lmao. bro got pica.
he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces
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he is so fucking stupid😭
the main, and final, thing i want to bring up is his extreme case of blue and orange morality. because being rude is worse than destroying a planet to him.
from here on out ill be using direct quotes since i actually have access to these and writing and ive hit image limit. what can i say theres so much i want you to look at.
Sirius: ... I don't need that rude EM being for my collection. 
and
Sirius: I was hoping to enjoy watching everyone on the planet panic for a bit... But I suppose destroying it outright would be fun too. 
back to back is an interesting display of standards. but id go further and argue that… sirius doesnt really act with malice.
MegaMan: Peoples lives... Planets... They aren't toys for you to play with. Have you even considered the pain you are putting all those people down there though? Sirius: Everything here will cease to exist. A black hole has no need for such things as emotions. You should... be happy. You will live forever within the darkness. You will be mine. MegaMan: I wouldn't call that living! I'd rather not exist! Sirius: ...I see. Do you think that you might change your mind? Stopping you without causing you any injury would be a bit of a nuisance to me. It will be hard for us to play together with you injured.
and you could argue that this is an attempt at persuasion… except that sirius doesnt really need that. hes pretty confident in his ability to win a fight, so id argue this is genuinely just how he thinks. his fascination with destroying things is processed not with malicious intent but the same perverse curiosity that drives a child to pour water on an ant hill.
mean spirited? yeah, but its all in good fun to him.
hes the living version of all those jokes about a person who never talks to other people or goes outside or anything. hes had his own little bubble to develop the most deranged moral compass and interal narrative of all time.
tl;dr - ITS HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT
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okay lets get down to business *break out into that song in mulan*
alec flirtin with zara is the equavalent of me trying to socialize and *networking* or whatever tf. hes braver than me because i think i will end up stabbing something
the first and middle part is so cute like im glad they are communicating instead of just going around being miserable and shit. jace having the braincell out of the duo is a sad but honest truth alec please do better. also the meeting between imasu and magnus is v nice. the part when alec said he gonna 110% refuse if magnus propose first, v in character. (alec not having to worry about who gonna propose anymore LMAO) but BUT my entire focus is on little spoon alec, sorry but like i my priority set and little spoon alec is the thing i will defend with my life
okay can we talk about this part
All four of them looked down guiltily.
Alec smirked.
They were so stupid.
alec can see the love of his life accept the proposal from another man and be a miserable bitch but you can trust him to be a miserable salty bitch.
also how alec went from *i cant be around him i have to put me first* to *literally fuck that its magnus i have no self-preservation*
third part i know izzy regret (or kinda) saying it but it kinda serve as a diss track too ng. they should have a board. its been 0 days since alec so something stupidly self-sacrifical.
the final scene. why yall so scared its clearly that magnus and imasu gonna have an open marriage. or not alec maybe in his Breakup with your girlfriend, im bored era. whether or not he gonna involve to Thank u, next era is up to debate but im voting no
and i would kill for arrow
Every time I get an ask from you, I have to take a five minutes breather and read it again cause 90% of your thoughts are so insane and hilarious. Not a single coherent thought in sight shalabwqkjsh
This chapter was one of my favorite because it had such good scenes. I like fluffy scenes more than angst okay?
Also look at this
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Alec being the small spoon has been canon since years. I put it in all my fics. Alec is the small spoon argue with the wall. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane somedays skshsksk
ARROW IS MY REASON TO BE ALIVE.
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ssamie · 3 years
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paper rings.
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·˚ ༘⌗ chinen miya x gn!reader
·˚ ༘⌗ childhood promises aren't unusual. miya and you had made many to each other, but the most notable one would be the classic promise to marry one another. miya was getting impatient with time, and decided he didn't need to be a grown up to marry you. after all, paper rings will do, right?
·˚ ༘⌗ warnings: fluff, both of you are still in middle school lol 😃, miya being cute and kind of ooc??
gen masterlist.            sk8 masterlist.
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miya grumbled as he sneaked quick glances at you from across him. you were both at school eating lunch underneath a tree for shade, like you always do, and for some reason, he was acting strange and awfully fidgety ever since the morning you went up to greet him.
"alright, what is it, miya?" you asked with a sigh "h-huh?" miya jumped as he nervously sipped on his drink, avoiding eye contact as his fingers fiddled with his switch.
"you're acting so weird" you said as you throw a candy wrapper at him "you've been looking at me strangely all day" you said as you narrowed your eyes at him
miya gulped and shook his head "no way!" he denied "you're getting too confident, you slime!" he said as he stuck his tongue out playfully
you rolled your eyes and laughed at his antics, throwing another piece of wrapper at him as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "whatever" you said
"and don't call me a slime, im your best friend!" you whined with a laugh. miya blushed and jutted his bottom lip out in a sort of pout. "you're still a slime if you keep acting like that.." he muttered
you raise a brow in confusion "acting like what?" you asked. "a-acting so... so.." he stammered out, looking so flustered as he tries to maintain eye contact with you, even though he could practically feel his heart palpitating.
"so what?" you asked again, this time even more confused as his face visibly becomes a brighter shade of red all the way to the tip of his ears.
"so cute!!" miya finally admitted, accidentally raising his voice a little too high, causing a few students to turn their heads.
"aghhh" he groaned out as he ducked his head to avoid their gazes out of embarrassment.
"oh.. is that so?" you cooed out with a laugh as you cover your cheeks which were heating up from the compliment.
"well, you're pretty cute yourself" you teased "even for a slime"
miya looked up and glared at you, despite his quivering lips and shaky voice he still managed to let out a small "im not a slime.."
you smile and pack away your bento, standing up on your feet and pulling him along. "im gonna keep calling you a slime if you won't stop acting weird around me" you said
"anyways, let's go. lunch is about to end" you say as you take his hand in yours and proceed to walk away. miya gulped as he stared longingly at your intertwined hands.
more specifically, your ring finger which seems to be quite bare.
"hey, y/n.." he muttered. "yeah?" you reply
"remember our promise?" he asked ".. yknow, when we were kids?"
you hummed for a moment before replying, "i think so.." you said "i mean.. i remember promising not to tell anyone when you fell into a canal when we were like five-"
"not that!!" miya shrieked with a bit of a pink tint to his cheeks "forget about that whole thing, that's embarrassing!" he whined
"then what?" you asked with a laugh "i can't name every promise we've ever made all in one go, you know?"
miya huffed and abruptly stopped in his tracks, causing you to halt along with him.
"i meant.. when we promised to marry each other." he said in a soft whisper
"miya.." you mumble as you stare at him in surprise. miya simply looked away, avoiding eye contact as his lips quiver into a small frown.
"um. yeah, i remember" you replied with a nervous smile as miya takes your hand in his and locks your fingers together.
"y/n, i think.." miya stammered out "i think i want to get married already."
you blinked in shock and confusion before letting out a sheepish laugh "haha, miya you can't be serious" you said
"we're too young, plus, you're saying that as if you like me or something" you said in a joking manner as you playfully hit his shoulder "but you don't actually like me, right?" you asked with a nervous gulp
miya shook his head and placed your hands over his chest, holding them tenderly as he stares up at you with his eyes glimmering with admiration.
"i like you a lot, y/n" he admitted "i've liked you since we were kids and-" he cut himself off
"actually, i think i love you. so um.. i wanna get married so nobody else can love you but me." miya said with a look of determination on his face as he nervously waits for your response.
"well uh.." you stammer out as you nervously look around "i.. i love you too, miya.." you finally admitted as you send him a bashful glance
miya's eyes widened as his smile turned into a wide grin. "really?" he asked with excitement
"yeah i guess" you muttered bashfully as you try to avoid his entrancing emerald hued eyes.
"that's great! let's get married." miya said as he took your hand and pulled you along as he ran towards the infamous cherry blossom tree in your school.
"miya, slow down!" you whined as he practically dragged you along while you struggled to keep up with him since he was basically sprinting.
"hurry up, you slime!" miya exclaimed with a laugh as he slows down to match your pace
"geez. you know we can get married at like 20 or 25 instead, right?" you said as you let out a breath of air
you were both underneath the cherry blossom tree. the beautiful pink blossoms fall and sway around due to the wind as the both of you lay on the grassy ground.
"we don't even have rings" you laughed as you turned to look at him. "don't worry i already have those" miya said with a cat-like grin
you watched in amusement as he dug into his pocket and pulled out two rings made of paper with small cat and video game stickers and both of your names written on the inside.
"oh gosh you actually have them" you sweat drop "ofcourse! i made these this morning and put a lot of effort so you better accept it" miya playfully scowled
you both sat up as he held out his palm, urging you to place your hand on top of it.
"my vows would be.. uh i'll love you forever and let you play my games. and i won't ever leave you and call you a slime ever again" miya muttered as he slid the ring into your finger, blushing madly as he does so.
"wow, nice vows. very heartfelt." you say sarcastically with a laugh, causing him to grumble and gently hit you with his fist.
"just say your vows, you slime!"
"you just said you wouldn't call me a slime anymore!"
"that only applies after! we're still not together since you still haven't told me your vows, slime!"
you sigh as a fond smile grazed your lips. you stare at miya through your lashes, chuckling to yourself as you see him waiting expectantly with a concerning amount of blush on his cheeks.
"my vows would be.." you muttered "that i would never leave you and i'll be with you and support you in whatever you wanna do." you said
"and-"
"that's enough" miya cut you off by waving his hand at your face, while covering his with the other. "u-um.. im fine with just that, you don't have to say anything else.." he said
you blink in confusion but agree anyways. "okay then" you smiled
miya gulped as he shakily lends you his hand, watching in astonishment as you slid the ring onto his finger.
"there, we're now officially together forever" you said with a laugh as you intertwined your hands together
"yeah." miya mumbled as his lips slowly curled into a loving smile
you gave him a smug grin as you point to your lips "this is the part where you kiss me-"
miya didn't let you finish as he suddenly tackled you into a hug and pressed a soft kiss onto your lips before moving along and pressing his lips onto both of your cheeks and nose.
"thanks for marrying me" miya muttered against your neck as he buries his face against your skin
"anytime" you chuckled. you wrapped your arms around him, causing him to sigh in satisfaction and relax against your body.
"mhhm, love you y/n" he mumbled
"i love you too miya"
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"man, you'll never understand since you're too young" reki said with a smug grin as he patted miya's head to emphasise his point
"love is just too complex for kiddos like you" reki teased
miya simply grumbled and glared up at the redhead, causing reki to laugh even more. "oh yeah?" miya taunted
"well, it's not like you have a lover of your own" he scoffed "you can't flirt for the life of you, and girls wouldn't even waste their time of day to look at you"
reki let out a pained smile as he sulked over miya's harsh words. "ahahaha, those are some big words for a little kid like you" reki squeaked out with a chuckle
"tch.." miya gritted his teeth as he glared up at reki "you have no room to talk when your ethe one who doesn't have a s/o, you slime!" he exclaimed
"eh??" reki mused "why? do you have a s/o?" he taunted "i think not-"
"yes i do." miya cut him off with a smug smirk
"ha?! how?! you're like three?!?" reki exclaimed in surprise, which seemed to catch the others' attention
"ha?! im thirteen idiot!!" miya yelled back with a scowl
"what happened?" kaoru asks with a raised brow as he looks between the two boys. reki seemed to be in shock and suspicion, while miya was sticking his tongue out at the redhead.
"cherry, miya said he has a s/o!!" reki exclaimed "how is that even possible?! he's a child!"
"im a teenager!" miya exclaimed
"really?" kaoru hummed in amusement as his eyes slowly trail over to you, who was too busy munching on burgers with langa to even notice their arguing.
"who is it??" reki asked "its y/n." miya replied with a proud smirk
"Y/N?! IMPOSSIBLE!" reki exclaimed with widened eyes. he ran over to you and hugged you protectively to his chest. "y/n, answer me honestly!" he said
"are you and miya together?!"
you blink in confusion and look at langa for an answer, though he simply shrugged and carried on eating. "um, well yeah." you said
"no way?!!!" reki exclaimed "oi you slime, why does it seem so unbelievable to you anyway, huh?" miya asked him with a raised brow as he pulled you closer to him
"it's just a shock to me!" reki said "i never would've guessed that.." he let out a sigh
kojiro sweat dropped and patted miya and yours' heads. "well, it was pretty obvious they'd end up together" he said
"yeah, we even got married." miya said in a nonchalant tone as he intertwined your hands.
"EH?!" now this time, everyone had let out a scream of their own. they looked between the two of you and blinked in shock.
"impossible. since when?" kaoru asked
"a week ago" you replied with a smile as you raise both of your hands to show them the rings on your fingers.
"but thats just paper-" kaoru slapped langa's mouth with his fan and smiled proudly at the two of you.
"that's wonderful. are those your rings?" he asked with a hum
"yeah. miya made them" you replied "it was really fun. the 'wedding' was a bit unexpected but its fine." you said
"the children are growing up!" kojiro exclaimed as he covered his mouth, while he wipes the stray tears of joy away.
"kaoru! the children are grown!!"
"shut up, you gorrila! you act like they're our kids." kaoru rolled his eyes. he then turned to you and smiled softly once again.
"congratulations" he said
"heh. hows that, you slime?" miya sneered at reki as he flaunts the paper rings with a smug cat-like grin.
"those are just paper anyways! so you're not really married- ow!" reki yelped as he felt kaoru's fan hit his head
"tch. whatever! im gonna get real rings soon!" miya exclaimed.
"no need to rush things, you know?" you mused as you patted miya's head
"yeah.." miya muttered "paper rings will do for now.. right?" he asked.
"right."
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neko-rogers · 3 years
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But It’s Better If You Do
Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.
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words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship, 
a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)
     A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.
     The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.
     “It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.
     You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.
     Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.
     But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is. 
     Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.
     “Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.
     In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike. 
     The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.
     You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.
     Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day. 
     To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.
     And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.
     “Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”
     In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.
     “It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”
     “Oh okay, sure.”
     “Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.
     “I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.
     As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.
     “I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”
     Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.
     You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.
     You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.
     “What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”
     Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.
     “I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”
     Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”
      He does not argue with you any further.
     “Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs. 
     At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.
     “Okay.”
     He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”
     “Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.
     Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.
     Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?
     God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.
     “Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”
     As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”
     “It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.
     “Are you sure? I–”
     And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.” 
     “Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.
     One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.
     “Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”
     “Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”
     There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same. 
     “It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”
     “I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”
     Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.
     “Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.” 
     In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.
.・゜-: ✧ :-  -: ✧ :-゜・.
     “I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face. 
     “Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”
     “I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”
     It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you. 
     “Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”
     You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”
     “Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating
     “And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”
     “Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”
      Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”
     “I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.
     “Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”
     “I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”
     His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.
     The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.
     With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”
     “I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.
     “Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.
     Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.
     It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.
     You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.
     You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.
     Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.
     He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.
     The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.
     “Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.” 
     As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.
     Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.
     As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.
     When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.
     At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.
     The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.
     You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.
     This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.
     Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.
.・゜-: ✧ :-  -: ✧ :-゜・.
     Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow. 
     And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.
     From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.
     It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.
     Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.
      Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.
     Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.
     In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.
     “Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”
     “Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”
     You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.
     “Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.
     Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.
     You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.
     Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.
     “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”
     Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.
     After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.
     “Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.
     “Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”
     “Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.
     You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.
     “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”
     Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”
     “Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”
     Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.
     “I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”
     “Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.
     “Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.
     “Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”
     “Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”
     “Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”
     “Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–
     “It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”
     “Uhm.” You were doubtful of him. 
     However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.
     “Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”
     “Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.
     “I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.
     Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.
     “Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”
     An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.
     Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.
     If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.
     True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.
     At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.
     In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.
     “Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”
     “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.
     As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.
     For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?
     Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.
     You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.
     “Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.
     “No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”
     He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”
     Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.
     He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.
     “I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones. 
     You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.
     “Was is it?”
     “I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.
     It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.
     “Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.
     Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?
     “Peter, I–”
     “Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.
     What. The. Fuck.
     “No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.
     The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.
     Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.
     Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.
     Lastly, you turned around and ran.
     You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.
     Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.
     Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.
.・゜-: ✧ :-  -: ✧ :-゜・.
     When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.
     You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.
     “Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”
     You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void. 
     From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.
     Hell please let this be a nightmare.
     “What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”
     Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.
     Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”
     “Uhh.”
     That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.
     When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.
     As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”
     Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.
     On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.
     “Fuck,” you grumble.
     “That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”
     “Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess. 
     “If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”
     Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.
     Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”
     Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”
     You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”
     “Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–”      “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”
     Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.
     “Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”
     “We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.
     No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.
     “Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”
     “I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.
     You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.
     Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.
     “What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face. 
     “P-please let me go.”
     “I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate. 
     Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.
     “Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.
     As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.
     He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.
     “I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.
     Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”
     “I can’t.”
     “Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”
     “I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”
     You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.
     “You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words. 
     “Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.
“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde
     It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.
     “Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper. 
     Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.
     “I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”
     “No–”
     He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”
     “You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”
     Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.
     Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.
     You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”
     His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.
     “Sorry, babe.”
     He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your  skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.
     Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.
     “Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.
     Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.
     Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.
     You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.
     “You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.
     Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.
     Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.
     “Oh,” you moan.
     He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.
     “I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.
     Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.
     You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.
     “You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.
     The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.
     But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.
     As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.
     He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.
     There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.
     The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.
     “Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”
     “You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”
     Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.
     Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.
     “We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”
     He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”
     You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.
     Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.
     As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.
     The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”
     Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.
     And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.
     You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.
     The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.
     “I love you.”
a/n: ily pls leave comments <3
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Disappointment | Ivan x Daughter!Reader
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Requested by @theweasleytwinsownmyjuicyass​: “so I’m really a sucker for parent tropes so maybe you could write a Ivan x daughter!reader where he had her with a non grisha woman who gave birth and later left the baby at the little palace for him. Now she is grow and Ivan being Ivan is hard on her especially because she’s kind of failing being a heartrender (cuz that’s not her real grisha power) and they have a huge fight about it and she runs away in the middle of the night. When Ivan find out in the morning he becomes very worried and asks The darkling and Fedyor to help him find her. (Maybe they find her a bit hurt cuz she was attacked. Just for more angst and feels:3)”
Pairing: Ivan x Daughter!Reader, Fedyor x reader (platonic)
Word Count: 1900
Warnings: angst, mentions of blood
A/N: As always, spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)
Masterlist
- - - - -
“Ivan!” Fedyor calls as he runs down the corridor carrying a medium size wicker basket “Ivan, someone left this outside the doors of the little palace” 
“Oh?” Ivan says, uninterested as he continues walking.
“The note left with it says its for you.” 
Ivan stops walking and abruptly turns around to finally face Fedyor who hold out the basket to him. He takes it and slowly lifts the lid, freezing when he lays eyes on what’s inside. 
“What is it? What’s in there?” Fedyor asks curiously but gets no reply “Ivan?” 
He moves to stand by Ivan’s side, peering over to see the baby girl wrapped up tight inside, fast asleep without a care in the world. 
“I don't understand, why would someone give you a baby?” Fedyor asks. 
“Because she’s my daughter.”
— — — — 
Seventeen years later. 
Growing up in the Little Palace wasn’t exactly a normal childhood, especially being the daughter of one of the Darkling’s most favoured Grisha. You never really felt like you fit in with the other kids, especially since your father made you learn with Heartrender children even though you were actually a healer. He was convinced you would share the same power as him and because you wanted to please him you went along with it. 
It was hard growing up without a mother too. Your father was always honest with you, about how he had spent the night with a non Grisha woman and hadn’t even known she was pregnant until one night you were left on the doorstep. Part of you wished you could meet your mother, but the other part of you didn’t care about a woman who could so easily abandon you. 
You were close with your father’s lover, Fedyor. He became the closest thing you had to a mother figure. He was softer and more caring than your father. When you were younger he would occasionally sneak you away for fun days out playing games in the woods. Even now he would take you out on horse riding lessons when he felt you needed a break. 
Ivan did not approve. 
“She’s my daughter and I say she must attend all her training sessions!” 
“You're too hard on her Ivan, the poor girl is exhausted from all the pressure you put on her. Give her a break” Fedyor argues back as you press your ear to their door so you can hear. 
“I’ll give her a break when she earns one. Right now she’s the worst in the whole class of heartrenders. Even the children are better than her”
“Maybe because I’m not actually a Heartrender!” You say as you burst through the door.
“This is a private conversation!” Ivan shouts. 
“Not if it’s about me it’s not.” You shout back
“Y/N” Fedyor speaks calmly, trying to defuse the situation “maybe you should go-”
“No Fedyor, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this” you turn and address your father “All I’ve ever done, all I ever do is try and live up to your expectations. Try to be like you. Hide my true self because I’m terrified of disappointing you. But I can’t lie anymore. I’m not a Heartrender. And no matter how much you or I try to force it, I will never be a Heartrender.”
You take off your red and black kefta and hand it to your father. There’s a silence as he looks down at it before finally looking up at you.  
“You're just going to give up on everything we’ve worked for, everything you’ve wanted?”
“I never wanted any of this Dad. You did! I just went a long with it to please you”
“Get out of my sight!” 
“Dad-”
“I have never been more disappointed in you than I am right now. I am ashamed to call you my daughter”
“Ivan!” Fedyor speaks up as you stand there silent for a moment, staring at your father.
Fedyor comes to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder but you shake him off and run out the room as hot tears fill your eyes. You hear Fedyor call after you but you ignore him, continuing to run out of the Little Palace. You don't stop running until you reach the woods, leaning against a tree and sliding your back against the rough bark to sit on the ground. You bring your knees up to your chest and let the tears flow, unaware of the stranger watching you in the darkness. 
You're disturbed by the sound of a twig snapping behind you. You lift your head up and take a deep breath, silently listening. Slowly you stand up, keeping your back to the tree as you look around you. Then you spot him, an unknown man creeping toward you. From his clothes you guess he’s a peasant from the village. 
“Are you alright?” He asks. Something about him sets your nerves on edge. 
“Yes I’m fine” you say quietly, wiping a tear off your cheek 
“Are you from the palace?” He asks, taking a step closer. You nod. “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” 
“I could ask you the same thing” you reply
“It’s not safe to be out here alone you know” he takes another step closer “never now who you might meet” 
“You're right, I should head back” you go to leave but he grabs your arm, pulling you back “let go of me!”
“Not until you give me something in return” he pulls a dagger from his pocket
“What do you want from me?” You struggle against him but his grip is tight 
“Whatever you’ve got. Money. Jewellery. Anything that’s worth something. You lot up in your fancy palace have no idea how hard it is to be poor”
“I’m sorry but I don't have anything”
“Then you're no use to me!” He growls, plunging his dagger into your side. You let out a silent gasp. He pulls the dagger back out and you drop to the ground, clutching the wound, feeling the heat of the blood cover your hands.
“Grisha bitch” he spits before running away, disappearing into the darkness. You try to drag yourself back toward the palace but you don't have the energy. You prop yourself up against the base of a tree and wait for the darkness to take you. 
— — — — 
“Fedyor wake up!” Ivan rushes into their room, opening the curtains to let the morning sun stream through “Y/N is missing!”
“What!” Fedyor sits up instantly 
“I went to apologise but she isn’t in her room and her bed hasn’t been slept in. Im really worried Fed. Where is my girl?” He chokes up as tears spring to his eyes.
“Okay calm down. We’ll find her” 
Ten minutes later the boys are heading out the Little Palace, searching the grounds with the help of General Kirigan. 
“Do you have any idea where she could have gone?” The Darkling asks. Ivan shakes his head. 
“I think I might know.” Fedyor announces
The three of the mount their horses and set off towards the woods. Once they enter they slow down as Fedyor explains this is where the two of you come to relax and get away from the Palace when things get too much. Ivan feels his heart sink, knowing that he’s the reason you even need a place to escape to. 
“There!” Fedyor shouts, pointing to your lifeless body laying on the ground. 
 The men jump off their horses and run to your side, Ivan cradling your head in his lap and stroking your face while the Darkling checks your wound. 
“Oh my saints! Y/N, my girl. Please come back to me” Ivan cries
“We need to get her back to the Palace. She needs a healer” The Darkling announces as Ivan picks you up and carries you to his horse. He rides faster than he’s ever ridden to get you there.
“We need a healer! Now!” The General shouts the second he enter the Palace, and instantly multiple healers come running. They follow him as he carries you to your room and lays you down on your bed. 
Ivan and Fedyor watch anxiously as the healers get to work. What feels like hours later they finally finish, turning to address the men.
“She’s stable now.” 
“Thank you, thank you so much!” Ivan lets out tears of relief as Fedyor hugs him.
“We’ll leave you three alone.” The Darkling says, ushering the healers out of the room. “I’m glad she’s okay” he smiles before leaving, shutting the door behind him. 
A few hours later you're eyes finally flutter open. You look around the room confused as to how you got there. You remember the woods. The creepy stranger. Being stabbed. You sit up, lifting your shirt to see now no wound at all. Then you look over and see Fedyor and Ivan asleep at the foot of your bed. You reach over and gently squeeze your father’s hand. He opens his sleepy eyes and when he sees you awake shoots up right, quickly pulling you into a tight hug. Fedyor also wakes up and smiles at you. 
“I’ll leave you two to chat” he says smiling again before leaving. 
Your father sits on the edge of the bed facing you. 
“Y/N. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said last night, I didn’t mean it. I was angry with Fedyor but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”
“It felt like you meant it”
“I could never be ashamed of you. You are a beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman. I am proud to be your father.” He takes your hand in his “And I am so sorry I made you feel like you had to be someone else just to please me. I always hoped you’d be a Heartrender like me, but I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you. From now on you are free to be the person you want to be.”
“Are you sure I’m not a disappointment?” 
“You could never disappoint me Y/N. You are my daughter and I love you more than anything in the world” he moves to sit next to you and puts his arm around you. You snuggle into him.
“Even more than Fedyor?” You ask playfully
“Even more than Fedyor” 
“Hey I heard that!” Fedyor shouts as he pokes his head back in the room
“We love you too Fedyor!” You shout back, gesturing for him to join you. He sits on the other side of you so you are sandwiches between the two of them. You hold his hand and rest your head on your father’s shoulder. 
You may not have a mother, but you do have two fathers. And you wouldn’t change them for the world. 
Your perfect little family. 
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kideternity · 2 years
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Im gonna say something that I think a LOT of comic book spiderman fans aren’t gonna like but I think you guys overinflate wayyyyyy too much about Peter being a “working class hero” or “hero for everybody/his community” 
elaboration under the cut; 
Okay so clarification- this does not mean I think Peter is a bad person, or that he hasn’t always had his own struggles, or that he doesn’t care about the little guy but you need to understand- Peter Parker is not real. he is a invention by writers, writers who very often, do write him under the lens of caring more about the heroics or drama of his life then the actual politics intertwined with his character. Yes, Peter is a lower-middle class man who frequently struggles with money, but the writer’s sympathy for the poor only extends to THAT much. Often, the people Peter fights are similarly poor, disenfranchised people, even homeless! but writers don’t give a shit about that. In a franchise where you think the writers would have more sympathy for the poor, they really, really don’t, and that’s not even mentioning the very extreme, often common prisoner abuse and prison glorification writers allow lol. Peter doesn’t even do much for his own community, I’d argue- sure, he fights crime- (usually other poor people)- but rarely is he seen actually taking action in other parts, helping people like him, and even ventures like FEAST are very quick to be ignored by writers in favor of more drama, more action, more death and funny jokes and whatever else. Idk if I have a good conclusion to this, but, I just think there is a major issue when writers are more sympathetic in a franchise about the working class to the white collar, rich characters then they are the poor, blue collar ones, and having people praise a bare minimum or reality that might not even exist. 
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ethernetchord · 3 years
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lets talk: popular iwwv criticism
(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)
SPOILER WARNING !!
lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)
i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.
oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.
we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.
“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.
if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.
alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.
i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.
i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.
the ending was rushed and bad
believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.
yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.
“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”
to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.
the characters were flat/archetypes/etc
sigh. okay.
these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.
“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”
“for us, everything was a performance”
“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”
“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”
“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”
are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.
“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)
i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.
a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.
bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish
as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.
i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.
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stxphxn-strange · 3 years
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playing pretend
a/n: hello hello hello! i have a prompt fill for this Dark!Stephen AU from @ironstrangeprompts and im just gonna post it before i can start second guessing my writing lmao
tw: mentions of torture, injury, implied past abuse
Prompt: Dark!Stephen AU. The avengers never really notice Stephen’s pacifist to-a-fault superheroing style until one day a magical incident corrupts him/magical entity possesses him. They’re treated to a completely unhinged and lethal Stephen, the avengers realize just how much Stephen was holding back, what with his quick work dispatching all of them, resulting in very heavy injuries. However, he takes special interest with Tony Stark, whom he has been dating for a few months now. He has Tony all strung up in the middle of the battlefield in front of the other broken and beaten avengers, he taunts and tortures him. “Being a doctor and a sorcerer is so very useful, I can break you in very precise manners, put you back together and then do it again.” When he gets bored of Tony’s screams and decides to end him permanently, Stephen suddenly snaps back to normal. The real Stephen has been battling internally to gain back control, knowing that he’s about to kill the love of his life gives him the final push to break free. He portals them all to safety and to receive medical help. Cue heavy angst and Stephen trying to make it up to them but especially Tony, who insists that everything is fine and that he knows it wasn’t the real Stephen. However they both know that Tony is just putting up a brave front and is undoubtedly traumatized by the incident. Up to the author on if they want to end it in a bleak or hopeful tone.
It took Tony a few minutes to register his surroundings when he woke up. He wasn’t lying in a makeshift coffin of bent metal, broken bones, and the ruins of the building. The familiar baritone, the melody of his waking world, wasn’t hollow and cruelly taunting him. Stephen sounded like himself, soothing and loving and reassuring but worried and tired all the same. Tony heard guilt in his partner’s voice, delineating his dream, his memory, from the present. He wanted to follow that voice, the real Stephen’s voice, and leave the past behind them. Guilt was eating away at Stephen as he tried to calm Tony down and wake him up. He defaulted to the standard promises and phrases when Tony had nightmares, but this time was different. This time Stephen was the cause of the nightmare, and he knew it. No matter how much Tony said it wasn’t his fault, that everything was okay, Stephen knew he had to repair the pieces of Tony’s trust he’d obliterated.
Tony thrashed again in his sleep, feebly kicking the air in front of him just like he did on the battlefield. “Stop!”
“Sweetheart,” Stephen began, unsure of what to say. “Tony, wake up. You’re safe, no one will hurt you.”
“Stephen!” Tony groaned and thrashed again, his eyes still shut as he fought to wake up. “This isn’t you… don’t do this.”
Stephen barely held back tears as he spoke again. “It’s over Tony, I’m back. I’m me again. I won’t hurt you, I promise I’ll never hurt you as long as I live.”
Tony was shaking when he finally woke up, unsure if he was even breathing. He opened his eyes hastily, studying the look on Stephen’s face. Stephen looked concerned, even worried, but unsure of himself as he murmured soothing nonsense to Tony.
“Breathe, Tones,” Stephen said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay, I promise. Just breathe, we’re alright. I’ll leave you be once I’m sure you’re okay, and—”
Tony wrapped his arms around Stephen and hugged him tightly. “Don’t you dare. Don’t go… please don’t go Stephen.”
“I can’t risk scaring you again Tony. I’ve already hurt you enough, it’s not fair to keep putting you through this,” Stephen argued, fighting his urge to hug Tony back.
Tony only held on tighter, determined not to let Stephen leave.
Stephen still wanted to disappear, but he quickly understood that Tony wouldn’t let him go that easily. The mechanic was still shivering and trembling, slowly starting to calm down as Stephen hesitantly hugged him back.
++++
They both woke up at the same time, almost four days later. Stephen woke up slowly, feeling like he was underwater or in a fog, while Tony started awake across town.
It was pitch dark in the room, the heavy curtains drawn shut to keep out any intrusive light. It was the middle of the day, judging by the clock Stephen kept on his nightstand, but he couldn’t feel the sun on his face, or see any light from his window. He was bathing in pitch black. At first, he thought he was dead, doomed to an eternity in darkness, when something red bloomed and came to life beside him. Even now, his Cloak was always dramatic, comforting as it covered him like a blanket.
As his eyes adjusted, Stephen registered Wong and Christine on the other side of the room, just studying him.
Christine was the first to meet his stare, rushing to his bedside. “How do you feel?”
Stephen grimaced in pain as he shrugged. “Not great, thanks.” There was something else on his mind, but he was too afraid to ask. He was almost too scared to hear the answer.
Luckily, Wong spoke up before Stephen could ask. “You slept for three and a half days, Strange. How much do you remember?”
“Something attacked the Compound… I think it was me,” he mumbled.
“Not exactly,” Wong began, gentler than Stephen had ever heard him.
“Possessed or not, I still attacked!” Stephen sat up, paying the price as he rose quicker than his body could handle. “It doesn’t matter if I saved everyone, not if I almost killed them first.”
Neither Wong nor Christine spoke, and the cloak simply wrapped tighter around Stephen’s shoulders.
“You did save everyone,” Wong said finally. “And you banished whatever entity possessed you. We still haven’t figured out what it is, but…”
Wong’s voice trailed off as Stephen stopped listening. His head started to hurt as he remembered, in searing detail, more of what happened and what caused him to snap out of the state he was in.
Tony was near silent, his voice failing him after hours of tortured screams. Somewhere, somehow, Stephen knew that he was the one hurting him, the one causing Tony so much pain even though he promised never to hurt the hero. He wanted to stop, to end all of the carnage he’d brought to the Compound, to his friends who were starting to feel like family, to Tony… but he couldn’t. The hand controlling his impulsive strings was strong and steady, and it wouldn’t rest until Stephen finished its bidding.
His movements were mechanical as he strode, like the marionette he’d become, to stand in front of Tony.
And Tony just looked at him with a defeated, almost calm look on his face.
Stephen’s voice sounded distorted when he spoke, preening with a twisted smile as he bent to look upon the man of iron. “Accepted your fate?”
“You won’t be the first person I’ve loved who’s hurt me,” Tony said, between pained breaths. “There’s nothing to say.”
Stephen tried to back up, to keep himself still, but he couldn’t fight the influence of his controller and struck Tony again. “Arrogance is unbecoming.”
Tony inhaled again, deeper and more pained this time but somehow even calmer. “Go ahead and finish the job. I won’t hold it against you, Stephen.”
Stephen was hyperventilating when he heard Wong’s voice again, pressed against the headboard of his bed like he was backed into a corner.
Christine approached him tentatively, resting her hand on one of his shoulders.
Stephen recoiled away from the touch and curled up on himself like a turtle retreating in its shell. He ducked his head under a pillow, shaking in fear and pain from moving too quickly. “Did I… did I kill him? I remember everything until I was about to… please tell me I—”
“You didn’t.” Christine cut him off, hoping to keep her friend from spiraling further. “Wong said you saved everyone, and that includes Tony.”
Stephen sobbed just hearing his partner’s name. Guilt wracked his entire body as he cried harder and harder, his magic running through his veins. Was he not this exhausted, he’d probably set fire to something from his high levels of stress and fear, but all he could do was cry until he fell into painful sleep.
++++
He didn’t finish it.
He didn’t listen.
Tony remembered the horrified look he saw on Stephen’s face, the remorse in his eyes as he sent a vaguely corporeal figure of dark energy through a portal.
Tony remembered the way Stephen apologized again and again as his eyes started closing, overwhelmed by the pain seizing his mind and body. A part of him hoped that Stephen had listened, that maybe the last thing he’d see in this life would be the face he’d come to absolutely adore…
… But he’d woken up sometime later in the MedBay, wanting to see Stephen more than anything. In spite of everything that’d just happened, or maybe because of everything that’d just happened, all Tony really wanted was to go back to sleep, preferably in his partner’s embrace. That really didn’t seem like too much to ask for.
“How are you feeling, Mr. Stark?”
Tony almost didn’t notice Peter pacing around on the ceiling, in fact he didn’t know his pseudo son was even in the room until he suddenly landed a few feet away. “I feel great, Kid. Definitely not like I took a ton of bricks to the face.” He didn’t remember the gory details of the fight, so Tony couldn’t say whether or not he was being literal.
“Welcome back, Boss,” FRIDAY said, a hint of worry in her voice. “And good morning. It’s currently half nine on Tuesday. I’ve been asked to inform you that Col. Rhodes has returned from Washington and has volunteered to lead all reconstruction projects for the Compound. He’s also asked me to keep you updated and will be coming to see you this afternoon.”
Tony sighed. “Thank you. Wait… that means Rhodey came back early?”
“He did,” FRIDAY replied simply. Her voice sounded like what a nod looked like as she continued. “Would you like me to tell him that you asked about him?”
“Sure, but don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to rush to see me,” Tony replied, knowing that Rhodey would probably come anyway. He was maybe the one exception to what Tony had told Stephen earlier, before…
“Col. Rhodes will be here within the hour,” FRIDAY announced.
“Thanks Fri.”
Peter, who had started pacing on the ceiling again, asked what Tony had been wondering since he woke up. “Where’s the Doc?”
“I dunno, Pete. I’ve been wondering that myself,” Tony admitted. “Fri, you wouldn’t happen to know… would you?”
“As far as I can tell, Doctor Strange returned to the Sanctum following the… altercation… on Thursday,” the AI reported.
“What? Altercation? What happened?” Peter landed on the floor again, looking more worried than Tony thought he deserved to.
“There was just a small wizarding mishap, don’t worry about it,” Tony said. He shrugged, trying to reassure Peter as much as he could. “Not even an emergency, Underoos. We would’ve called for you if it was.”
Tony also didn’t want Peter to see what happened. Maybe he was sheltering the kid, but he didn’t want Peter to ever find out about the attack on the Compound. It was bad enough that the team, even in their varied states of consciousness, saw what they did. They saw the fear in Tony’s eyes, saw him slowly surrender to Stephen’s ruthless attacks until he just stopped trying to fight the sorcerer. Tony knew he couldn’t parry these magical attacks, couldn’t break the spelled restraints… but he didn’t want Peter to see how easily he’d given up.
If Peter had more to say, he simply chose not to ask about it. Instead he just shrugged. “Glad you’re okay, Mr. Stark. May heard from Pepper that you got hurt, so I wanted to swing by… no pun intended.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that calling me ‘Tony’ is fine?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes warmly. “I’m fine, Pete. Not up for working in the lab today, I’m afraid, but—”
“That’s okay! My suit isn’t going anywhere, we can upgrade anytime,” Peter replied. “I promised May I’d be home for movie night, but I just wanted to come see you.”
Tony smiled softly. “You’re a good kid, Son. Get home safe, and I’ll give you a call when I’m back in working condition.”
“Thanks IronDad!” Peter was gone in a second, leaving Tony in the quiet with his thoughts.
“Fri?” He asked after a few minutes.
“Still here, Boss.”
“Will you… will you tell Stephen I want to see him?” Tony asked.
Maybe he was the spoiled brat everyone believed, or maybe he was exhausted and touch starved and showing signs of an addictive personality. Tony didn’t know, he didn’t care, and he just wanted his sorcerer back.
“I’ll let him know,” FRIDAY replied, softer than normal.
++++
“Stephen, it’s been days. Days since the attack, days since you holed yourself up in my library like you’re going into hibernation—”
“Good morning to you too, Wong.”
Wong may have laughed at Stephen’s attitude if he didn’t feel so bad for him. Stephen was completely out of it, so much so that he didn’t even realize how late in the day it was. “It’s almost eight, Strange.”
Stephen just sighed. “Did you need something from me?”
“Stark is asking for you again. I think you should see him.”
“You said that yesterday,” Stephen muttered.
“I’m saying it again now. I know you, Stephen, I can read you like any book in here.” Wong began. “You’re trying to outrun your guilt but you know it’s not that easy. Ignoring Tony isn’t going to make things go away, and it’s not going to make either of you feel better. He misses you, and I know you miss him too.”
“I don’t know how I can even look at him after what I did… he trusted me,” Stephen whispered, looking down at his lap. “I broke his trust.”
“Not willingly, and he knows that,” Wong reminded him. “It wasn’t you, Stephen.”
Stephen ignored him, beginning to tremble as he thought back to what Tony had said to him. “He told me he wouldn’t hold it against me… that I wasn’t the first of his loved ones to hurt him. I don’t know what I could do or say to prove to him, let alone to the team, that I’d never hurt them again.”
“Hiding away in here isn’t helping to prove that,” Wong said.
“You just want your chair by the window back,” Stephen accused him.
“Of course I do! But I also care about you and your happiness. If you need anyone to vouch for you, I’ll be here,” Wong replied.
“That sounds like you’ve made up my mind for me.”
“I have. Go now, before it gets too late.”
Stephen opened a portal to the tower, just outside of the lab. “I doubt Tony would be asleep, he’s always awake.”
His suspicions were confirmed as he closed the portal. Tony was in his lab where Stephen thought he’d be, a mug in one hand and a pen in the other.
Stephen’s entire body trembled with nerves as he opened the door, the cloak knocking loudly and dramatically to make his presence known.
“FRIDAY, Quiet Place Protocol please,” Tony said. He looked up and smiled sadly at Stephen as the lab’s usual blaring music shut off. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Stephen suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. He was too scared to get any closer to Tony, afraid to hurt him, but at the same time all he wanted was to hug him.
The cloak made the first move, flying off of his shoulders and resting on Tony’s.
“Aww, hi Levy.” Of course Tony had a nickname for the relic, he had nicknames for everything and everyone.
Stephen found it annoying in the most heartwarming way, and he couldn’t help but smile as Tony sat down at his workbench.
“You can come over, you know?” Tony asked, half teasingly. “I told you I don’t bite, Steph.”
Stephen felt like a marionette again as he walked towards his boyfriend, but his heart was in control this time. He wanted to protect, to cherish, and to spoil the man in front of him with nothing but love and attention. He was just afraid, still unsure of himself as he studied Tony’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey… I know.” Tony opened his palms on his lap, silently asking to hold Stephen’s hands.
Stephen let him, trembling harder as Tony held him gently. “I don’t know what happened, Tony. Something took over me, and I couldn’t stop it. I’ve never been overpowered like that before, and I didn’t know what to do. But please listen when I say that I promise it’ll never happen again, I mean that’s a given if you leave me, but—”
“I’m not leaving you,” Tony said firmly. “I know you weren’t voluntarily doing all of those things.”
“I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I still don’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t.”
“Tony…” Stephen took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tony I could’ve killed you. The entire time I was trying to break the curse, to get that thing out of my system, I almost killed you. And you almost let me do it.”
“I did.”
Stephen didn’t know what to say. Tony had that calm, accepting look on his face mixed with a kind, trusting expression. It was the same look he’d given Stephen in the ruins of the Compound, and it hurt. It didn’t feel like an apology would be enough to make things right, but what else was there to do now? “I’m sorry, Tony.”
Tony slid his arms around Stephen’s waist and pulled him into the hug they’d both been needing. “I’m fine baby, it’s okay. It’s over.”
Stephen knew it wasn’t just over, and he knew Tony knew it too. But in the moment he was too fatigued to fight about it and let Tony hold him closer. “Have you been sleeping?”
“Trying to,” Tony replied. “Not to be cheesy or whatnot, but I do sleep better with you next to me.”
“May I take you to bed?” Stephen asked, sounding even shyer than when he normally asked that. “Please? I know it’s early, but I wouldn’t object to a nap.”
Tony nodded, shifting to press a chaste kiss to Stephen’s lips. “That sounds nice. FRIDAY, save and shut everything off please.”
“Engaging ‘You Shall Not Pass’ protocol, Boss,” FRIDAY reported dutifully.
Tony scoffed. “Remind me to never let you and Peter give Fri name suggestions again.”
“You could just change it if it bothers you that much.” Stephen chose to remind Tony of that instead, even though they both knew Tony was secretly fond of the movie references hidden in his protocols. “Besides, that serves you right for calling me Gandalf all the time.”
“If the shoe fits, babe,” Tony said. He stood up, keeping an arm wrapped around Stephen’s waist as they left the lab and headed for the elevators.
Despite feeling safe and loved in Tony’s arms, more than he could have ever hoped to be and probably more than he deserved, Stephen was still anxious. He felt out of place in the Tower, never mind the fact that he usually spent half of his time there, and he felt even more out of place amongst the team.
“How are the others?” He asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.
“They’re getting better.” Tony saw no point in sugarcoating the truth. Stephen would see right through it, and that wouldn’t help him process everything. “Carol and Thor are both bored of training with each other, but no one else wants to spar with either of them yet. Or with Natasha, for that matter.”
“Does anyone ever want to spar with them on a good day?” Stephen asked, trying to keep the mood light.
“You’re all a bunch of sore losers who can’t rise to a friendly challenge” Natasha quipped, suddenly materializing in front of the couple. “Tony, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why is he here?”
“Natasha, I—”
Natasha pointedly ignored Stephen. She never disliked the sorcerer, she was actually indifferent and had no issues telling Tony that, but Tony’s trustful, rather soft nature was a concern of hers. It worked in her favor, sure, but she was really trying to be a better friend to Tony and look out for him more. It was this concern that motivated her to look at Stephen with disgust. Natasha wasn’t scared of him, she took heavy damage in the attacks but it was more minimal compared to some of the things she’d put his friends and family through.
Tony was acting as if none of that happened, and that couldn’t stand.
Natasha frowned and glared at Stephen as she addressed Tony. “Tony what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t play dumb and tell me you’re not following. What are you still doing with him? You barely sleep more than an hour without waking everyone up screaming from phantom pain and nightmares! Do you think we can’t hear you yelling and begging for Stephen to stop torturing you and just kill you? Because we all do!” Natasha took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And after all that, you’re holding him like nothing is wrong? I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving sometimes.”
She stormed off before Stephen could defend himself or before Tony could respond. Her words echoed in Stephen’s head as Tony continued to lead him down the hallway, into the elevator, and into the penthouse.
Stephen sat dejectedly on the bed as Tony shuffled around the room, grabbing a few blankets from the closet. He didn’t say anything as Tony made a little nest of pillows and blankets, the cloak joining the haphazard pile the minute Tony curled up under a throw. Eventually Stephen allowed himself to lay down, offering no protests as Tony hugged him again.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, mumbling into the soft fabric of Tony’s shirt.
“I know,” Tony said simply. “Relax sweetheart, it’s okay.”
He was still tense, curling up smaller in Tony’s arms. “Are you okay?” The sorcerer asked.
“I’m fine,” Tony reassured him. That was half true. He was fine, to a point, but there were things bothering him that he had no idea how to tell Stephen about.
Eventually they would have to face the music and talk about everything, and they both knew it. For now, Tony was somewhat okay with ignoring it, clinging to the hope that having his Stephen back would keep the memories at bay.
Tags: @stark-strange-love2 @salty-ironstrange-shipper @funkylittlebidiot @richieleeparker @chocopiggy @hatakehikari @taruyison 
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starglow-xx · 3 years
Text
owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)
platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader
type of writing: head canons !!
this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!
tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!
series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others
*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*
please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.
previous: part 2 : their beloved president
author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)
this one is actually pretty long :0
i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)
and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise
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the doctor is in the house (quite literally)
going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion
it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping
cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries
sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird
one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide
he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again
or so you thought
a n y w a y s
every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment
you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often
and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”
ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears
you guys were at it for a while
in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that
you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)
for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way
when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark
you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month
on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8
currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks
ranpo’s been rubbing off on you
the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down
tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once
but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment
like honestly
let a woman do her own thing
the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him
you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley
he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand
not that you cared about the detail in the moment
you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way
using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back
your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again
you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle
grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you
you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall
you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair
but what you really notice is her eyes
ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more
you’ve always liked the color magenta
the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up
as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention
he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold
you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you
she notices the condition you’re in
bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing
she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away
when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for
it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more
if those two trust you, she has no reason not to
she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency
your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand
“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”
“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”
after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary
she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in
you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at
before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable
after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags
she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you
you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you
“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”
“...”
*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*
“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”
you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them
and that’s only three of them
apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened
ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met
before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds
as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk
you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women
you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister
she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion
yup 
that’s right
the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3
you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3
“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”
*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”
“?!”
after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!
you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!
you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping
yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit
the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by
lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap
“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”
she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male
“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”
“unbelievable right?”
“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”
“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”
“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”
like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3
but you love her anyway <3
eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out
“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”
you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member
the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out
but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways
besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will
speaking of which
you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden
“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”
you choked on your water
“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”
“exactly the point”
you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose
but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky
you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with
you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea
other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s
you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down
you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be
you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late
she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass
and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels
arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late
(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)
she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president
the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you
fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected
but here comes the hard part
or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows
“i met (y/n) today.”
“we could tell.”
in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth
“would you like to know how?”
“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”
“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”
this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”
“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”
ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks
“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”
“kunikida.”
“yes shachou”
“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”
“...yes shachou”
“and yosano”
“yes?”
“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”
just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed
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heyitsyn · 4 years
Text
Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE
a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem
this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺
and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo
anon:
- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?
- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends
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OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH
so basically yea
as seen in a lot of the parts,
oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you
like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females
maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?
the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 
yanno the works
yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him
ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?
hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that
so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him
like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you
he did it all
it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms
because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU
ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone
he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand
oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon
this brings us here in the gym today
‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’
‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’
the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side
‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’
he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him
god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh
so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him
‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’
you bargained but he gasped
‘what?! then what’s the point of-’
‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’
you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you
‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’
he was still fussy but he accepted it
oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?
they fall for boys who give them everything, right?
nope
so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that
idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho
his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food
‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’
he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you
‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’
im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two
oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened
he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier
your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up
but your shock morphed into being upset
‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’
but he waved you off with a smile
‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’
you rolled your eyes
‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’
he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough
‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’
he growled softly
wHAT iS hE sAYinG
you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity
‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’
you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes
‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’
you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop
‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’
he whispered and you blinked
‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’
he nodded eagerly
‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’
then he found himself in a bookstore with you
it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together
the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin
he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out
‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’
you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom
your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry
oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before
so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped
it was so,,, domestic 
seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words
it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?
the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 
the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own
you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder
‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’
he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle
‘you read poetry?’
you whispered and oikawa chuckled
‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’
he reasoned and you laughed
‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’
‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’
you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck
‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’
oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip
‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’
he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest
‘so not fair oikawa-san’
you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles
‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’
he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter
‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’
you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:
‘but what a beautiful mess you are’
okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!
once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer
‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’
you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk
oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks
he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space
‘sure!’
the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above
however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position
‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’
he asked and you gave him an obvious look
‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’
your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him
you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before
except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it
you noticed it all
‘that right there, its the big dipper!’
you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding
‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’
he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you
‘really,, pretty’
you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you
‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’
this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes
‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’
he said and you nodded
you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created
‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’
you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic
so he covered it up with his own teasing 
‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’
you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks
‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’
you pouted and turned away
‘never mind’
oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks
the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt
and you loved every moment of it
after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted
it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning
yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??
you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you
whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could
the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door
or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out
‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’
you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand
‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’
you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room
tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this
he was happy
you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love
but,,,,,,,,,
it didnt last long
albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you
it was,,, awkward
maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato
forget potato, youre now a tomato
but even his touches and affections were now limited
restricted
like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning
but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly
‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’
oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym
god you felt like you were slapped in the face
you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly
was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?
usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you
no, you were just,,,,
overreacting
right?
yea, just,,,
overreacting
iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression
you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice
big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch
he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back
‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’
he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes
‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’
you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them
but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions
while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him
oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too
‘oi, what the hell did you do’
there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like
oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face
‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’
‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’
oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth
he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too
god hes so dumb
but he,,, was going through stuff right now
it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 
and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house
okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(
it certainly brought him pain
this was what he wanted though, right?
he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls
but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings
oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh
initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet
this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you
and by god, he was so scared
he wanted to run away
because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 
he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart
he didnt want that responsibility and burden
it was too risky
oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer
you would be the one hit with the blast the most
maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself
it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him
the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face
can you imagine the irony?
the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away
.......
practice was,,, suffocating? 
the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same
oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried
did you both fight?
what happened?
when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you
‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’
makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing
but they were surprised when he shrugged
‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’
if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen
you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,
‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’
that answer didnt bother you
it was his smile
the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you
now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls
what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm
they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you
you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles
he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym
you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky
‘the sky is very pretty today’
he complimented but it wasnt heard by you
you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face
‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’
he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds
you scrunched your nose and scoffed
‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’
you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers
mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above
‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’
it felt all muddled
there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand
‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’
he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy
‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’
you blanched
‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’
mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear
‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’
you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team
but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker
leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym
oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 
more specifically,
you
he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head
yes this was what it was supposed to be
you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile
he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault
no
he will stop that from happening way before it would occur
he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up
it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,
he wants you away from him
oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most
dear god was it laughable
after practice was finished,
you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there
these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts
if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,
it was not knowing why 
that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 
did you chew too loudly when you ate?
were you boring and not as fun as the others?
was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?
has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?
that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear
throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you
but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there
you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace
but ofc 
hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face
quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears
you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops
‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’
he chuckled
you took a shaky breath and wiped your face
‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’
you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back
‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’
you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued
‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’
you nodded, laughing weakly
‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’
but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope
‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’
the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it
GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!
BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF
all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his-
‘y/n?’
you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you
kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look
‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’
kunimi started but kindaichi snapped
‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’
you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm
‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’
‘but clearly not because look at you!’
he shouted and you flinched 
kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor
‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’
he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion
was it obvious?
was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?
nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit
youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal
but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes
as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 
you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom
and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you
despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows
he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside
‘oikawa-senpai~~’
she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 
your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact
through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead
please dont go to her
please
stay with me
dont go
but he went in anyways
------
that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore
as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now
everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage
you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it
there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most
you were easily led on
he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile
he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another
kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions
even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention
you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him
‘what’
he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern
‘uh-i-are you okay?’
he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways
‘never better’
you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit
your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing
‘whats wrong with all of you’
you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm
‘cmere. i missed you’
he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side
‘why-’
‘he told me what happened’
iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms
‘w-what?’
iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall
he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins
‘you-you are a piece of shit!’
he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes
‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’
iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor
oikawa was crying
not from the beating
but from his regrets
god he knew he messed up
he shouldnt have done it
but he did
iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa
‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’
he hissed 
oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest
‘im so scared’
he sobbed
‘im so scared, iwa-chan’
his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries
‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’
he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair
‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’
‘how could you tell she-’
‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’
even iwa flinched
‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’
there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?
‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’
his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration
‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’
he shrieked
thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown
‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’
iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest
oikawa tooru was having a panic attack
he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry
‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’
iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it
however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you
iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug
but he whispered something in your ear
‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’
you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about
he mustve known what happened but hes defending him
you clenched your jaw and looked away
‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’
you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes
you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities
you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself
but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip
your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second
‘what happened to you’
you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you
his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you
this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it
he missed hearing you
his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on
the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye
your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face
‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’
you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back
‘it was iwa-chan’
he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow
‘what? why did he-’
then you froze
iwa knew
and he beat oikawa up for it
he fought his best friend for it
and iwa didnt look fazed at all
despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising
yet why was he so clean
it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back
no
you must stop
youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before
however
oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand
‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’
he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now
the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach
‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’
he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear
oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door
it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation
it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment
‘i fcked up, y/n’
your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor
‘i messed up so bad’
he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath
‘oika-’
you made a move to turn around but he stopped you
‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’
he cried and you nodded
oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting
‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’
you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes
‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’
when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him
fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression
‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’
you seethed
your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry
‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’
you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking
his world was now falling apart
he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment
‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’
you whined and punched his shoulder at each word
‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’
you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms
it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck
‘im so sorry’
he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist
you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 
after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping
‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’
he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter
‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’
and by god did he become selfish
it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him
YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY
natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it
‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’
he promised and you laughed
you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling
you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it
then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him
‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’
then graduation came
of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day
you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before
then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you
the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands
it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present
for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki
oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter
you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say
until you softly grabbed his hand
‘come in. i want,,, to talk’
you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out
it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known
right?
you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed
FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS
ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?
oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side
‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’
he asked
but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor
‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’
you finally met his eyes
then he knew
oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder
‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’
‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’
KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?
OKAY
-----
oikawa was running in the airport
despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside
the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 
when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career
they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past
hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends
‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’
he joked and hinata laughed
‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’
the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 
‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’
he mumbled and hinata nodded
‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’
the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid
‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’
then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar
‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’
oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment
there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan
he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full
but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself
it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were
iwaizumi
oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call
he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up
‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’
‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’
of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years
‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’
‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’
he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 
how did he figure out
‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’
‘please! dont!’
he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him
‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’
‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’
oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone
iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart
poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much
‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’
but of course,
oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision
the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him
oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)
‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’
the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 
the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on
what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated
would you let him in?
would you even want to see him?
would you punch him?
would you cry?
he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump
‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’
the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face
oikawa was stunned
was this the right apartment?
did iwaizumi trick him?
but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell
similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked
‘y-y/n? h-hey!’
he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there
you were hyperventilating inside
how did he find you?
why is he here?
does he know?
‘mama? who’s that oji?’
the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son
you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly
‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’
yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room
once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator
‘would you like some tea before you go?’
you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head
it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him
as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside
his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear
this was where you lived
with your son
who was his son too
there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier
it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes
jesus, he was beautiful
‘yozora. thats his name’
you said, noticing him staring at the picture
KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!
‘night sky’
oikawa whispered
the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you
‘n-nice place’
he stuttered out
you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup
‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’
you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive
‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’
‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’
he visibly flinched
calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing
‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’
you let out a humorless chuckle
a scoff
then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes
‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’
out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea
‘nothing’
you whispered
he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry
but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms
‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’
‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’
he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself
the dry laugh you let out made him fidget
‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’
you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him
you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back
but you still invited him in anyways
oikawa snapped his head up
‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’
‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’
‘but why did you keep him from me?’
he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why
‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’
‘mama?’
a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him
oikawa yozora was exactly like his father
from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes
KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!
he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son
um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me
so oikawa was right
yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you
yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away
sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child
but you kept him because he means the world to you
and the world he holds are in his eyes
‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’
he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you
his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw
if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs
he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level
‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’
he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him
‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’
yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms
‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’
your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on
you kept his last name
you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky
my god, you are so,,, 
‘--the book. oji? do you?’
he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder
tooru blinked and looked at him
‘huh?’
‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’
not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him
the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted
‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’
tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch
the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’
‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’
tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off
‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’
he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong
that book was oikawa’s
the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son
you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying
‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’
you fussed and sat down next to oikawa
yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room
GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON
‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’
yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa
‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’
he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer
‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’
you couldnt even believe what was going on right now
not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him
you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first
‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’
OKAY THAT WAS IT
YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA
out of shock, you slapped him across the face
causing yanno what happened
oikawa screamed
a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈
ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
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shawtygonemad · 3 years
Text
Here, With You.
Daryl Dixon x Reader
Requested by the amazing @lilythemadqueen! 💙
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Daryl and I have known each other since high school. At least before he dropped out. Everyone saw him as a hot headed trouble maker like his brother. I saw different. I saw a boy who was quiet and reserved. Who actually enjoyed going to school just to get away from his home life.
We had been paired up for a project. No one wanted to work with him, so as the new girl I thought this would be a chance for me to introduce myself. He was very standoffish at first. His snippy attitude and grumpy appearance would have driven anyone away. However, I had a feeling it was an act. I was pretty good at reading people and this boy seemed hidden under a shadow of what everyone expects him to be.
It turned out my theory was correct. The project gave me the excuse to spend time with him. To pry past his steel walls and get to know the real him. I continued to insist on being friends even after the project was over. He claimed he didn't want anything to do with me. However, little did I know he actually enjoyed the time I spent with him, and appreciated the kindness. He always joked he couldn't get rid of me even after he dropped out.
Unfortunately, he decided to become a drifter like his brother. I hadn't seen him for a few years after that. Then the apocalypse happened and the dead started to walk the Earth. I ended up in some camp on the outskirts of Atlanta. By some way of fate, Daryl was at the camp as well.
It was a pretty emotional reunion, on my side at least. Daryl had to play it cool and nonchalant due to his brother. Although he did tell me in private how glad he was that I was alive and here.
From the day I stepped foot into camp Daryl has kept me on a tight leash. Sure he was protective of me in high school. Even beat some guy up from asking me out at a joke. However, now was different. I was hardly allowed to leave his sight, and when he left he always asked some other guy to "keep an eye on me".
I know he means well, but man does it piss me off! Im a fully grown adult woman! I can handle myself! I know how to use my knife and kind of take down a walker with some help. He always treated me like I was completely defenseless.
I wanted to prove to him that I could help. That I could handle myself! That I was strong and brave enough to possibly become his girlfriend. Yes, I still had a stupid childish crush on him. Even more so now that he was a man. Puberty was VERY kind to him. I'd find myself unconsciously staring at him while licking my lips. Studying his broad shoulders, and muscular arms. Imagining how those arms would feel to wrap around me and bring me close. To imagine those large calloused hands trailing under my shirt and playfully pinching at my nipples.
I had to do this. I had to prove to him that I could handle myself. That I could handle HIM. Which is how I ended up in the middle of the woods trying to be as quiet as possible.
Daryl went hunting alone, which he knows I hate. If I could catch an animal or maybe take down a walker by myself then maybe he wouldn't think I'd be useless. I was following behind him at a decent distance. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but the leaves and twigs were too loud.
Daryl stopped and his shoulders went ridged. Within a second he spun around with his crossbow raised. He was ready to shoot his stalker.
"Come out," he gruffly yelled.
I stayed frozen behind the tree. My heart pumped and palms became sweaty. I was suddenly nervous and lost all confidence. What was I going to tell him? This was all so stupid thinking on it now.
My plan was to stay quiet and hopefully he'd continue on. However, the squirrel the jumped onto the tree beside me started me. With a small gasp and quiet yell I fell backwards into sight.
Daryl growled and lowered his crossbow at the sight of me.
"What tha hell is wrong with ya!? I coulda shotcha," he yelled.
"Sorry," I quietly said as to got to my feet. "It's just... you were out here alone and it's not safe..."
"Not safe for you maybe. A damn squirrel made you jump outta yer damn skin," he scoffed. "I can handle myself."
"So can I," I practically pouted.
"No ya can't," he yelled as he stormed over to me. I instinctively took a step back. "Yer too trustin'! Ya try ta befriend anything that comes into yer direction. It's gonna get ya killed!"
"Befriending things isn't always a bad thing," I argued. "That's how I become friends with you."
That made him scoff. That infuriated me more. I hated when he thought down on himself.
"Get yer ass back ta camp. I can't hunt and keep an eye on ya at the same time," he grunted.
"Excuse me," I questioned harshly. "I am a big girl who can take care of myself, Dixon. I can do whatever I want! And I'm choosing to be here, with you."
"No ya can't," he challenged while backing me up into the tree. "I've been savin' yer ass since we first met. That ain't gonna change now."
My heart picked up the pace, and I couldn't help but breathe heavier. I was trapped between an angry Daryl and a tree. He was intensely staring down at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. Why did he care so much?
"Why?" I blurted out.
"What?" He asked.
"Why do you want to protect me so much," I asked.
"Cause ya can't take care of yerself," he said simply.
"You could just let me die like everyone else back at camp probably would."
"Don't say stupid shit like that," he growled as he got closer, practically pushing his body against mine. "I won't let that happen."
"Why," I pried again.
"Wouldja stop sayin' that," he said, annoyed.
"I need to know why, Daryl," I informed him.
A light blush dusted his face and he suddenly couldn't meet my eyes.
"Cause I lo...." he mumbled as his face turned a darker red.
"Cause of what," I asked as I furrowed my brows, unable to hear him.
"Cause I love ya! Okay, Y/N! Fuck..." he blurted out.
He loved me. He just admitted it, so there was no denying it. Daryl Dixon love me. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered with excitement. I wasn't sure what type of love he meant, but it was worth finding out.
Still red in the face, Daryl went to step away. He was embarrassed by my lack of response. He was afraid he just ruined everything with you. All because he let his stupid feelings get the best of him.
Before he could step away I grabbed his face and brought it down to me. Our lips met with such sweet bliss. Both of us reacted instantly by dancing our lips together. Daryl’s arms instinctively wrapped around me and pulled me close. His tongue flicked at my bottom lip asking for entrance. I gladly granted it to him.
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He swirled our tongues together as we made out. I could taste the tobacco from the last cigarette he had.
Unfortunately, we needed to breathe. As we parted I laid my forehead against his. We were both breathing heavy. Our gazes met.
"I love you too, D."
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darker-soft-starker · 4 years
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Starker High School AU Pt. 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
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tw: general howard stark warning
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There is a buzzing by his ear.
At first, Tony doesn’t really notice it, waking up in short increments before being pulled back under. But he keeps waking, unsure what keeps tugging him out of his dreams, hand flapping around his face as he tries to stop the incessant ringing.
“Blergh,” he mumbles into his pillow.
Batting his hand around to quell the source of annoyance, he comes to grip his phone, squinting as it lights up inches away from his face and vibrates against his palm. For a second he thinks it’s his alarm, but then he remembers that he didn’t set one. It’s a succession of text notifications cascading down his screen that alerts him out of the slope of slumber with a start.
The only time his phone goes off like this is an emergency. The first thing he registers is that it’s only eight-minutes after seven. He blinks, sight clearing from the sleep wedged in his eye as he reads the flurry of still-incoming texts.
> so thanks for last night > yknow > for the ride > i mean > you know what i mean > anyway > so that folder i gave you had my BIO notes, not econ > im such a doofus > i need them back > don’t bother looking at them lol > can we meet up?
Tony groans, eyelids heavy as anvils. Jesus christ. He didn’t get home until four after dropping this guy off and he’s already up and bothering him? What gives?
Exhausted and annoyed, he tucks his phone under his pillow and sets it on do-not-disturb for extra measure. There ain’t no way he’s getting up at seven on a Saturday for fucking class notes. Prick.
In his opinion, he’s filled his quote of good deeds for the month and he doesn’t need to be up for another few hours. Whatever it is, he thinks, snuggling into his pillow, he’s sure it can wait.
---
The next time he wakes it’s just after nine. There’s a gap in his curtains allowing a sharp shard of sunlight into the room where it directly pierces into his eyelids. 
He groans tiredly into the drool patch on his pillow, willing sleep to come back to him, turning on his other side, gripping the edges of the quilt and tightening it around himself until he is firmly cocooned within it. It’s nice and warm, and sleep is such a rare commodity to him so it’s novel to bask in its dregs. But there isn’t any more sleep to come he’s quick to realize, giving up after a few minutes and blinking up at the ceiling. 
Nine is practically six. It’s criminal to be up this early.
There’s an unusual flurry of texts on his phone, some from Rhodey, but most of them are from Parker, an endless ladder of increasing franticness. 
Tony tosses his phone to the end of his bed carelessly. 
It’s been literally less than twelve hours since he’s had to deal with the shithead. Surely whatever was lodged up his ass couldn’t possibly be as important as Tony ignoring him. 
Swinging his legs off the bed, he stands and stretches his arms up high, fingers curling. The stretch feels good and he takes a quick sniff of his armpits to gauge if he can forego a shower for the third day in a row. 
The stench is wicked. It’s possible that he’s overdue.
He strips off as he heads towards the adjacent bathroom, naked and nursing a semi.
He can’t help but shudder as his back meets the cold tiles, the intuitive shower head following his body with a mechanical whir, miscalculating its aim and spraying him in the face.
Ah. That will need to be recalibrated, he notes. 
But, he can’t say he really minds, tolerating the spray, even as it hits his mouth like a fire hose. He ducks his head to wet his hair, reaching blindly for the touchpad to dial down the pressure. Once the water is to his liking he reaches down to take himself in hand, leisurely stroking himself.
It’s just a perfunctory part of his morning ritual; he doesn’t really have anyone in mind as he brings himself to full hardness, just the fleeting memory of lips around his cock, the next of a well rounded ass, not feeling particularly creative. 
Okay, so maybe he pictures some big, brown eyes and dark hair he can run his fingers through. And maybe he goes off like a rocket. That’s his business.
Anyway, once he’s out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, he inspects his appearance in the mirror. The bruises on his face are still pretty gruesome, deep purple and beginning to yellow around the edges. The cut on his lip seems to be well and truly scabby.
Turning to the side, Tony takes observation of his overall torso region; his stomach is not as defined as he’d like it to be - probably due to his affinity for carbs and sweets, if he’s honest. Between a few fingers he can pinch the skin and pull it a little -- and look, he’s a bit soft around the middle, but he lifts, alright. Maybe he isn’t exactly steel cut like the dudebros on the football team who have made being ripped their life mission, but he has musculature under the adipose.
Is he a little self-conscious about it? Sure. Is he worried about it enough to give up garlic bread and cronuts? No. Especially when he spots a new chest hair nestled comfortably between his pecs.
Probably a bit too proud of himself because of a singular piece of hair, Tony gets dressed in a pair of jeans that have seen better days, speckled with singe marks and thinning at the knees and a singlet, slinging on his leather jacket for the finishing touch. 
He almost forgets the bot.
“Look at you,” he says, to the mangled mess of metal on his desk. Scooping the injured, beeping bot Tony stuffs it into his backpack. “Come here, darling. Shh, you’re okay.”
Peering both ways out of the hall to ensure the coast is clear, he quickly descends the stairs, shushing the bot the whole way.
On the ground floor, he pauses when he hears voices coming from his father’s office. It takes a second to recognise the voices, his father and Stane arguing over one another, loudly, then softly. He tries to listen in, catching somewhat audible hisses about the company finance officer.
Careful to avoid the floorboards that squeak he tiptoes to the kitchen to pocket a few muesli bars and a water bottle from the fridge. 
The voices get progressively louder as he sneaks to the front door, silently saluting their maid as he passes. She waves back at him, offering a sympathetic smile as he goes out the door. 
His heart pounds as he reaches his car, parked around the corner street. 
“Alright, baby,” he grins, revving the engine. “Let’s go.”
---
“The fuck?”
It’s hard to be sure, but perhaps Rhodey doesn’t expect Tony’s unannounced arrival at his front door. Not if the furious scowl and bunny slippers on his feet are anything to go by.
Nonetheless, he slips past the front door, welcoming himself into his friends home, despite the exasperated outcry of for fucks sake Tony, it’s Saturday and it’s not even noon, can’t you call ahead? 
No, he can’t call. Well, actually, he reconsiders, heading down the hall to the basement, his friends footsteps echoing behind him, he probably could, but it wouldn’t make anyone less mad at him, so what’s the point?
Besides, judging by the empty driveway and barren living room, Rhodey’s family is already out, he’s not sure what the issue is.
“The issue is I am tired, man,” his friend complains, following him down the stairs. “What are you doing here?”
“Me too, honeybear, freakin’ exhausted,” Tony mutters, skipping down the stairs. “Go back to bed. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”
“Oh sure, and let you solder your fingers together again. Nah. Not taking the fall for that.”
“I’m not going to solder my fingers together. I’m a pro.”
“Unless you need me to remind you of last summer,” Rhodey takes a seat at the workbench, “I suggest you shut up.”
“You’re rude, you know that?” Tony asks, retrieving the bot from his backpack and setting it upon the bench. “I’ll have you know that I’ve learned since then.”
“And yet you still refuse to wear gloves,” his friend sighs, settling heavily upon the adjacent chair. There’s a comfortable quiet between them while Tony works, carefully settling all the pieces onto the table, moving each with care.
It’s hard to miss the weight of observation on the back of his neck, but he lets his friend drink his fill before he’s ready to speak.
“You fuck up something?” He points to the bot.
Tony shakes his head, pressing the solder into the circuit board. “No. Well, yes. The coding is perfect, as usual, but this idiot isn’t any smarter than a Roomba. He’s meant to be smarter.”
“So?
“He is smarter. I dunno, sometimes he messes up,” Tony mumbles, reaching blindly for the bent-nose pliers before Rhodey places it in his hand. “He’s not bad, just dumb. It’s not his fault.”
“And again, what happened? Did you run him over?”
“No, the old man got sick of me playing with ‘toys’. Dumb-dumb here met the wall in a very dramatic fashion. It was an Oscar-worthy performance.”
There’s a sigh from behind him.
“Does that explain your face?”
Tony glances behind him and smirks. 
“You mean my dashing good looks?”
“Tony.”
“Honestly? I got into a fight with a feral racoon that ran off with some old lady’s purse. It nearly cost me an eye, but I saved the day. She called me a hero, gave me some stale crackers from her purse and then gave me her number.”
“Tony.”
“Fine. I was skateboarding. I was in the middle of executing a super complicated kickflip but lost control when an enlarged gutter rat scurried in front of me. I flew headfirst into the gravel. Very embarrassing. That work?”
“Tony.”
“Look, just leave it will ya? God, you’re like a nagging wife. Pick whichever story makes you feel all nice and fuzzy inside.”
Rhodey is suddenly before him, waving something in his face. “Your phone, jackass. Your better half is calling?”
Huh?
Tony blinks, gently setting down the pliers and the chip he’d removed, taking his phone. It vibrates, Your Better Half flashing across the screen. 
“Parker, ugh.” 
He really should have changed the contact name by now, he thinks, swiping to answer.
“Alcoholics Anonymous,” Tony answers by way of greeting. “How may I direct your call?”
“Ha ha, very funny, asshole. So you are awake. I’ve been trying to contact you all morning.”
“I know. I’m beginning to think you actually might have separation issues,” Tony says. “I just got rid of you like eight hours ago.”
“I’m calling about the folder. Didn’t you read my texts?“
“Oh, I read them,” Tony settles back on the stool and continues to work on the main circuit. “See, I was just ignoring you. Hoping you’d take the hint, but I forget subtlety is lost on you.”
“Look, I need my notes. Can we meet up?”
“Right, for Bio,” Tony rolls his eyes. “Can’t it wait until Monday?”
“No. I, uh -- I have a test first period. I need to study for it.”
“Uh-huh. Just remember, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. You’ll be fine.”
“I take AP Bio, asswipe, I’m aware of that. Can I just get it back, please?”
“You take AP Bio? Was that an admin error or something?” he asks, holding the chip he’d retrieved earlier up to the light to inspect for any damage. 
It looks to be ok. The damage to the bot overall seems to be mostly cosmetic, couple of scratches, a few dents. Nothing that a few replacement panels wont fix. Whatever he hasn’t already got stored here Rhodey will surely have spare parts, it’ll be fine. God, what would he do if his friend didn’t lovingly tolerate Tony using his space for storage and barging in whenever he lucks. It’s lucky Rhode’s parents are so chill though, unlike his own. He may be a hot-head but he’s practically a saint compared to -
“ - hello? Are you still there? I can hear you breathing.”
Tony blinks. “Right. Your notes. Look, I’m kinda busy. I have a life outside of you and I don’t actually care about your academic integrity, so, you’re gonna have to wait.”
“For how long?”
“I’ll drop them off this evening, like six-ish. Hey, maybe we could do that interview with May if she’ll be around.”
“...I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”
“C’mon, I already told you I’m not actually hot for your aunt. I’ll be professional.”
Rhodey shoots him a bewildered look.
“That’s not what -- look, whatever. Just don’t be late okay. I have a life outside of you too.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I’ll try and not get in the way of your weekend plans of crying while you masturbate.”
“I literally hate you.”
“And yet you aren’t denying the crying. Anyway, I have to go now, try to clean yourself up before I get there. See you at six, bubby,” he hangs up, cracking his neck before refocusing on his mangled creation. “Now where were we?”
“What the fuck.”
Tony pauses, pliers in hand. There is a particular expression on Rhodey’s face erring on the side of confused and haunted. 
“What?”
“’Bubby’?”
“Don’t say it like that - it’s like an inside thing. Don’t repeat it to him, alright, he’ll get pissy. And then I’ll get pissy.”
“You know it’s just a project, right? You two aren’t actually married.”
“Thank god. Could you imagine being married to that guy?” Tony shudders. “Scary.”
“Two weeks ago you said he was the bane of your existence. Now you have ‘inside things’ with him? You saw him last night?”
He sighs, shoulders dropping. Yeah, he doesn’t really have a good explanation for any of that. 
The thing about himself, Tony’s found over time and trial, is that he really, really likes to press buttons. He likes to test variables, wants to see what would happen if he did something he wasn’t supposed to, and map out the world as it occurs in motion around him. Curiosity means he likes to test the parameters, to see what can yield, what will bite back.
More often than not that kind of impulsive brand of curiosity has gotten him in some sort of trouble. Turns out not everything and everyone appreciates being tested - and many things like to lash out when pressed.  
Parker, Tony has found, is somebody that doesn’t yield or bite. If Tony was a betting man he’d have placed his money on the boy being more of a yielding type - but what he does is he presses buttons just as much as Tony does, buttons he didn’t even know he had to be pressed. 
And that very much interests Tony.
He just doesn’t know what to do with that information, except to keep pressing.
“I’ll explain later,” Tony promises, mentally crossing his fingers. “In the meantime, can we forget about Parker and focus on my broken baby here?”
Rhodey relents, but Tony knows that look in his eye. He’ll be hearing about it later and at the most inconvenient time. And he’s gonna tell Pepper.
Wonderful.
He really should change Peter’s contact name in his phone.
---
By the time he leaves the Rhodes residence and heads to his next destination, his robot is in somewhat in working order again. It remains fairly immobile though, just until Tony can replace the damaged infrared and touch sensor. It clicks its metal claws sadly towards Tony in the passenger seat as he drives.
It’s a Roy Orbison kind of day, so the music is loud and the guitar is heavy as he makes the drive to Harlem.
And if Tony frees a hand to pat the bot on its’ metal head every so often, that’s his business.
When he reaches the other side of the city he parks in his usual space at a nearby lot and contemplates whether or not he should leave the malfunctioning bot in his car for the sake of being professional. It clicks at his jacket, weakly grasping the material as if on a plea - and damn, Tony knows the thing isn’t actually sentient but what kind of asshole would he be if he left it here for the day.
Heart squeezing with sympathy, Tony delicately places him in the backpack, leaving the zip partially open for ‘air’.
Next, snacks.
While he’s retrieving a pack (or two) of Reeses, he comes across Parker’s folder that he’d stashed there last night. Their conversation from earlier returns to the forefront of his mind.
Look, Parker might not be the knuckle-dragging, monosyllabic dumbass Tony initially suspected that he was, and yeah he was savvy as demonstrated during their trip to the rental market - and yeah, definitely smarter than his social circle would suggest, and is absolutely and a source of constant surprise to Tony - but is he AP Bio - or AP anything material? 
Time to find out.
The first thing that Tony notices is that the notes are definitely not for Bio. They’re for Econ, as initially prescribed. 
The second thing he notices, as he flicks through the papers, skimming over the complicated graphs and annotated research, is that what he’s reading is actually good. 
Well, I’ll be darned, Tony thinks, eyes getting progressively wider as he flicks through the pages. Not bad at all.
Makes him wonder why Parker thought he was missing his Bio notes though.
The answer to that becomes clear when a crumpled envelope falls out of the stack onto Tony’s lap. He picks it up, at first thinking it’s a part of the research, but pauses. It’s open and it’s addressed to May Parker.
“Um,” he says.
It’s from Queens Presbyterian Hospital, which should make him drop it as if it were burning. It doesn’t, though. Either it’s meant to be included in the folder, or it’s not and that’s why Parker has been acting like a crazy-ex all morning.
Hmm. Tony sits there, torn, debating whether or not to look into it, the overdue stamp standing out against the crisp paper like a warning sign. On one hand, he’s running kinda late and, y’know, privacy or whatever -- on the other, his fingers are already itching to know what’s in it.
Mind your own business, he can already hear Rhodey saying, mind your own business, Tony.
Curiosity and a distinct lack of a moral compass wins, as always. Just a quick peek, that should be okay, right? The envelope is already open anyway, so, it’s not like anyone will be able to tell.
God, this is none of my business, he tells himself, even as he’s retrieving the letter from within and starts reading it. 
Oh.
Tony quickly stashes the letter back into the envelope and back into the folder. Yep, definitely none of his business. 
Yeah, he really shouldn’t have done that. Big fucking yikes on his behalf. And yep, there’s the guilt -- or at least he thinks the stomach churning is guilt, it could be the stale muesli bar he ate on the way.
Nonetheless, it hangs over him like a dark cloud as he picks up his backpack and heads out to the garage across the road. What kind of asshole looks into someone’s mail because they can’t help themselves. This dick, that’s who.
Fixing a grin he doesn’t really feel, he heads to the back office. He knocks on the window, ducking his head into the open door.
“Yo,” he waves to the man sitting behind the desk. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Hey kid,” the man looks up, smiling before his face drops. “Tony, your face. What happened?”
“This? It’s nothing --”
“-- is that why you couldn’t come to work yesterday? Not that I mind,” the man stands up. “Are you okay? Was it --”
“-- Was it nothing to worry about? Absolutely,” Tony holds his hands up in surrender. “Just an unfortunate encounter with a wild, feral squirrel in Central Park. I tell you, they’re deceivingly cute, but they’re pests. Totally out of control.”
“Tony.”
“Jarvis,” he interrupts, gesturing to the cars in the garage behind him. “C’mon. Look, let’s get to work, okay? Save the violins for later.”
And by later he means never.
The man sighs, world-weary, looking at him like he knows exactly what he’s thinking. At first he’s certain his boss is going to push the issue, but it must be a day for dodging bullets because he relents.
“Alright, kid. I got a ninety-four Ford sedan back there with your name on it. Busted fan belt, overheated engine. Probably needs a new set of spark plugs while you’re at it.”
With a grateful nod, Tony heads back, locating the vehicle in question. It’s rusted to all hell and probably not worth the cost of repair, but he gets stuck into it anyway, keen for a distraction. He sets his bag and bot down near him while Jarvis blasts Alice Cooper’s Poison.
Tony might not have all the answers to life’s problems, but this is something he knows how to fix.
---
He probably distracts himself a little too well, because by the time he’s wrapped up with the Ford it’s already five-thirty and he’s a mess of engine oil and coolant.
It’s only when Jarvis squeezes his shoulder and points to the clock on the far wall does he realise that he’s lost his sense of time. How the fuck is he supposed to clean up and get all the way from Harlem to Queens at this time of night?
“Ah, crap,” Tony mutters, setting down his socket-wrench in his toolbox. “I’m late.”
“Late for what? You got a hot date or something?” Jarvis asks, stepping back to give him some room as he rushes to the staff bathroom. 
“What, no,” He calls back, running the faucet and pumping soap over his hands. “I gotta go see about a guy.” He struggles to hear his boss over the running water but he doesn’t have time to stop and figure it out. 
“From school?”
“Yes, and a prime pain in my ass,” Tony mutters, drying his hands on his jeans, walking back into the garage. “Anyway, see you Monday, chief?”
His boss nods, passing Tony his earnings for the week in cash. Tony should have known to dash and run because he starts hearing the proverbial violins when Jarvis clamps a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in a way that is more paternal than Tony is comfortable with. 
“You know you can call me, you have my number. You come up and see me and the missus whenever you want.”
Tony fake snores.
“Jarvis.”
“We have a spare room,” he insists, shrugging sheepishly and stepping back. “It’s yours at any time.”
“I see you enough, okay, don’t push it. I’ll see you Monday,” Tony draws him into a one-armed hug and claps him on the back. “Don’t you worry about me.” 
“Don’t make me worry.”
“No promises,” Tony salutes, slinging his backpack on shoulder and walking backwards out of the garage to the street. “Hug the missus for me.”
Jarvis salutes back. 
With that he sprints across the street when there’s a gap in traffic, bot snapping gently at his hair as he runs.
Sweaty and sore, he is full of energy, a sense of accomplishment coursing through his blood, like an afternoon of work can only provide. He should fire off a text, he thinks, as he starts the ignition and heads out onto the road, yeah. Let Parker know he will be late.
And he does genuinely mean to send a message at the next traffic stop, but then Queen starts playing on the radio and Tony isn’t a fool, okay, he turns that up loud.
Next traffic stop, he promises himself.
---
“I’m beginning to think you can’t read the time,” Parker opens the door with a scowl. “You said six.”
Wincing in the hallway, Tony looks at his phone. Six-fifty-nine. It’s not totally his fault, okay. There was a pile up along the way and traffic was a nightmare of  ridiculous proportions. He swears he’s gonna be the first person to invent a commercially viable flying car just for the sake of personally avoiding road congestion.
“Yeah, so. Here’s the thing: I had things to do, okay, priorities --”
“You and your priorities, I swear to god --”
“Here,” Tony cuts him off, passing him his folder, letter neatly inside where it isn’t going to obviously slip out. “Your folder, dumbass.”
Peter grips it, holding it to his chest as he stares at Tony for a moment, before passing it to the nearest flat surface, a weathered and small table that holds their keys.
“Okay, thanks,” Peter nods, smiling grimly, looking behind his shoulder. “Appreciate it. You can go now.”
“So where are the Econ notes,” Tony blurts, wincing as he plays dumb. “I mean, if you had something prepared.”
Peter blinks, surprised. “Oh, uh. Um, It can wait until Monday, can’t it?”
“The assignment is due Wednesday.”
“Right. Um, just give me a sec --”
“Is that Tony?”
May appears behind Peter, smiling brightly. Tony waves, rocking back on his feet. 
“Hey, Missus Parker.”
“Hey there, handsome,” she hip-checks her nephew, joining him in the doorway and glancing between the two. “You didn’t mention we were having company tonight, Pete.”
“He’s not handsome and he’s not staying --”
“-- I was just dropping something off,” he looks to Peter. “And excuse you, the lady has spoken and I have to agree. I am handsome. Some might even say that I’m debonair.”
“And some might say that you’re deplorable.”
“Hmm, I think you mean adorable.”
That prompts a smile out of Peter. He crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his chin up, all haughty.
“Tony Stark, you are many things, but adorable isn’t one of them.”
He leans in, pouting playfully. “Oh come on, Parker. I’m a little cute, aren’t I?”
“No.”
“Not even a little?”
“Uh, let me check,” Peter pauses before smiling sardonically. “Verdicts in - jury says you’re one-hundred-percent despicable. Sorry.”
"I’m sure I could sway the jury.”
“I think you mean you could pay the jury.”
Tony nods, pretending to be serious. “Well, yeah. You know, for consensus.”
Peter licks his lips, shifting closer.
“Consensus is important...”
“...Well, if you two are done,” May says after an extended period of silence, tying her hair back into a ponytail. “We were just about to head out to a Thai place around the corner. Tony, you should join us.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I should go --”
The rest of his words are cut off by a truly monstrous growl of his stomach. He winces, scrunching up his nose sheepishly. He probably should have eaten more than Reeses all afternoon.
“Well, I guess that settles that,” May says, stepping out of the doorway and beckoning Tony in. “Come in. Sorry about the mess.” 
It’s with Peter still staring at him that he reluctantly enters their apartment, brushing past the other boy. It looks the same as it did the other week, mostly tidy and smelling like incense. There’s a sizeable stack of unfolded laundry on the dining table, however, that wasn’t there before. 
Tony’s distracted by a pair of dancing-bulbasaur boxers sticking out of the pile when May leans in close to sniff at his hair. 
“You’ve got something in your hair, honey. Is that paint?”
He runs his fingers through his hair, palm coming back streaked with green. “Oh, uh, radiator fluid,” he explains, holding up his hand. 
“Can I ask what you did to your face?”
“I saved a homeless guy and his beef-sandwich from a pack of rabid, angry dogs. No need to call me a hero.”
May looks at him oddly. “Oh, well, if you say so. Go get yourself washed up and we can head out.”
The burn of Peter’s stare follows him all the way to their bathroom.
---
The meal is less awkward than Tony thought it would be.
Well, for him at least.
Over larb and khao pad they’d gotten through an informal interview with May about her experience as a caregiver with a single income. Not only was it informative for his own future financial independence, but she has been generous enough to speckle in colorful anecdotes of her nephew’s upbringing. Parker’s face has been getting progressively redder all night and it has nothing to do with the spice in his food.
Tony has enjoyed the evening thoroughly.
“ - and of course, we were lucky we hadn’t decided to go cheap on the health insurance. Especially when Pete here broke his wrist at gymnastics when he was eight.”
Tony barely holds back a snort. 
“You did gymnastics, Parker?”
Peter tips his head back to stare at the ceiling and sighs. The flush seems to be creeping down his neck too, Tony observes gleefully. He stuffs a large mouthful of rice in his mouth to mitigate the urge to tease. 
"Yes, he was very good, weren’t you, Pete? So talented, you should see his medals.”
“Stop, please.”
“C’mon, no need to be embarrassed, Pete, you were amazing,” she says. “You’re still a flexible little bug, aren’t you?”
Tony chokes on his rice.
Peter has his eyes squeezed shut and looks like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. 
“May, I’m literally begging you.”
“Uh,” he beats at his chest with his fist, swallowing roughly. “So how long did you do that for?”
“Until I was fourteen.”
“Why’d you quit?”
There’s a very deliberate, weighted pause. May and Peter share a look between them and Tony gets a deeply uncomfortable sense that he’s just stuck his foot in it. Retract, he thinks, already regretting opening his mouth.
“Well,” May clears her throat, her tone light. “After my husband, Pete’s uncle Ben died, we moved away and we had to make some... financial cuts at the time.”
The bite he’s just taken goes to ash in his mouth. God, he really is a big idiot isn’t he. He’d assumed that May never got married to the man in the photos or that they’d just divorced, he didn’t realise that he’d passed - and so recently, too. Welling up with shame, he can’t stop himself from glancing at Peter, who’s staring at the table, lips pursed.
“Oh,” he clears his throat. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to - I didn’t know. Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” May waves her hand dismissively, but her smile is strained. “Anyway, what about you, Tony? You’re severely asthmatic, right? That must have been hard, growing up if you wanted to play sports.”
Tony’s eyes widen.
“Yes, um, so hard. Luckily I’m not really an exercise-y kinda guy. I personally prefer to keep a heart rate below eighty beats per minute.”
“Did you have any hobbies growing up?”
“Yeah, driving my parents crazy,” Tony says, glad for the shift from the somber topic. “Escaping from nannies, seeing how quickly I could get them to quit.”
“You like tinkering,” Peter says quietly, looking up. “You mentioned, before. Cars and stuff.”
He shrugs, starting to feel as if he’s under the microscope, especially when Peter looks at him, eyes glittering with thinly-veiled interest. 
“I mean, I don’t know. I like - building stuff, I guess. Machines and robots, y’know, cars. It’s like, whatever.”
“You want to be the next Elon Musk or somethin’?” Peter asks, not unkindly, resting his chin on his hand.
“Nah, I wanna be the first Tony Stark,” he scratches his cheek, suddenly bashful. It’s an uncommon feeling for him. One hard to avoid, however, particularly when there is a boy who Tony doesn’t really hate who’s asking about his life like it might matter. 
He clears his throat. “Anyway, mostly it was just me cataloguing all the ways I could make the vein in my fathers’ head pop. I’m still working on that.”
May looks between them, smiling.
“Sounds like you were a handful.”
“Sure was.”
Still is, apparently, no matter how much he tries to stay out of the way.
The silence that follows is punctuated by the sounds of cutlery scraping across plates, of shrinking ice cubes rattling against glass. It feels pensive at the same time as it does thorny, like Tony opened the door to let someone in but accidentally let out a few ghouls.
And despite knowing he’d stepped on a landmine with the Parkers, he can’t help but wonder what other pieces of the puzzle he’s missing. Why Peter doesn’t live with his parents. Not that Tony is invested in him or anything.
He just doesn’t like mysteries, that’s all.
May excuses herself after to head to the bathroom not long after. It’s during that time that the waiter brings the check, which Tony takes immediately, slipping in some of the cash he’d gotten earlier, despite Peter’s protests. He was gonna do it anyway, even if he didn’t have the letter in the back of his mind.
“Stop paying for me,” Peter says after he passes the check-book back to the waiter. “Your family is rich, I get it. I’ve told you, I don’t need your charity.”
Tony shakes his head. It’s not worth mentioning that the only money he spends doesn’t come from his family.
“It’s not charity. Do you really think I’m that nice, eh? C’mon. Maybe I like lording it over you.”
“Well, at some point I’m going to pay you back.”
“And when that time comes I’m not going to accept your money.”
“You will,” Peter smiles wryly down at his plate. “I have my ways.”
“As do I, sweetums. Now, do me a favour: shut up and finish your larb.”
Peter does, but something about him shifts. It seems more quiet and contemplative, his eyes staying longer on Tony than they normally would. He wants to tell him to take a picture, but for once, Tony thinks it’s probably best if he keeps his mouth shut.
---
Back at the apartment, Peter goes to retrieve his ‘Econ notes’, taking the folder from the table and retreating to his bedroom. In the interim, May offers to let Tony stay over, inviting him for what he’s sure would be a rousing game of Mario Kart. 
He politely declines.
“You sure? Winner gets to choose a movie.”
“I should really get home,” he says. “Thanks though. And thanks for dinner.”
“No problem. Thank you for paying, you didn’t have to do that. Let me pay you back.”
“No need. Think of it as payment for your services and letting us pick your brain tonight.”
She reluctantly accepts with a lot less pride than what her nephew displayed and that makes Tony feel a little sick, because it’s evident that she’s a proud and stubborn woman by nature. Her acceptance, albeit laboured, speaks volumes as to the reasoning behind it.
What takes him by surprise is when she hugs him goodbye and kisses his cheek.
“You’re a good egg, Anthony. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
It’s probably the most maternal touch he’s had since, well. Probably since he last went to stay with Jarvis and his wife. Fidgeting in the hold, he’s not sure if he wants to squirm or to sink into it.
May leaves when Peter comes back in, a familiar stack of notes in his hands that he passes to Tony.
“You gonna kiss me goodbye, too?”
“What?” Peter blinks.
"Uh, never mind,” Tony waves the papers at him. “Thanks for this.”
Peter looks around to make sure they’re alone before leaning in rather promptly. 
“Wow, hold up on the proximity there,” Tony inches back, startled by their sudden closeness. “I was joking about the kiss --”
“You read the letter, didn’t you,” Peter whisper-hisses.
“What? Letter? What letter?” Tony says, voice strangled. “I don’t know of any letter.”
He gets a painful poke in his chest for his lies.
“Don’t play dumb. It wasn’t where I left it.”
“I’m not -- ow, quit poking me.”
“Then stop lying. You’re unbelievable -- don’t you know that opening someone else’s mail is a crime?”
Tony’s shoulders slump as he concedes.
“Look, it was an accident, it just slipped out. And also, it’s not technically a crime, if the envelope was already open.”
“Oh and the letter magically opened itself and forced you to read it.” 
“That could be argued.”
“Why couldn’t you mind your own business?“
Sick of being poked, he shoves the papers between his arm and his ribs to hold them and takes Peter’s fingers in his hands, squeezing the digits when they struggle to break free of his hold.
“I should have, I admit it - I didn’t think, okay, I’m sorry. Is she okay?”
Peter stops struggling, looking over his shoulder again.
“I don’t know,” he leans in again to whisper, “I only found it yesterday, I haven’t spoken to her yet. Look, I know you hate me, but can you please not tell anyone about this?”
“Why would I tell anyone?”
“I don’t know, because you’re the devil, and you get a kick out of seeing me suffer?”
“True, but I’m not going to tell anyone. Promise. That would make me look like an asshole and you like a martyr. Ergo, I shut my cake hole and continue looking better than you.”
“You’re a real prince charming,” the other boy huffs, but seems to take him at face value. “If I find out differently I’m going to come after you. You’re going to need dental work afterwards.”
Tony lets go of their joined hands, balling his fists and raising them to his face, mimicking what the other boy had done last night. 
“You wanna tousle, huh?”
He gets a light shove out the doorway for his attitude.
“Alright, smartass. Get the fuck outta here already.”
“Going, going. Goodnight, princess.”
He mock bows, peering up under his eyelashes, momentarily arrested as he watches Parker roll his eyes and bite his bottom lip in an attempt to smother a smile. 
His heart continues to beat a bit oddly all the way down to the car, where he sits in contemplative silence for a few moments until the sound of metal clicking shifts him out of his thoughts.
“Oh, hey you,” he coos, gently retrieving his bot from his bag and placing it in the passenger seat, instantly feeling bad. “I didn’t think I would take so long. I’m sorry.”
Placing a seatbelt over the bot and buckling him in, Tony begins to narrate his night to him as he pulls off the curb and begins driving.
“I guess that Parker isn’t so bad,” he tells the bot, who swivels its head in response to his voice. “I mean, he can’t dress for shit and has questionable tastes in friends - oh, and cannot hold his liquor - but I dunno, baby-bot. He’s okay. Don’t tell anyone I said that, though -- and oh my god, did I mention he did gymnastics, what a fucking dork...”
The thoughts churn and buoy him until he pulls up to his house nearly an hour later. From the driveway he can see his fathers office light still on.
The sight of it makes his stomach drop, all good cheer gone in an instant. 
“Damn,” Tony whispers to himself, tapping his knuckles against the steering wheel. This time of night on a Saturday can only mean one thing and he is really not in the mood to be in the crosshairs of whatever his father and Stane are up to.
But before he can work himself into a worry his phone vibrates in his pocket.
> hey, look, thanks for not being a total dick tonight about everything > and last night as well, I guess > yknow what i mean < ur welcome < by the way, i’m proud of you  > for what < not finishing off ur aunts beer tonight < takes strength < asking for help is the first step > omfg i take back what i said > ur the worst < and ur a pain in my ass > they have creams for that u know > anyway, g’nite, butthole > p.s. you’re still not adorable Tony smiles down at his phone. < goodnight bambi The bot clicks at him, breaking him out of his train of thought.
“Don’t look at me like that. Let’s go in, but you gotta keep quiet, okay.”
He manages to avoid detection and attention from anyone, despite accidentally stepping on a squeaky floorboard. Maybe it had something to do with the record player and raucous laughter coming from the office.
In any case, Tony’s just happy to make it back to his bedroom. There, he toes off his sneakers and starts getting ready for bed, stashing the leftover cash into a drawer.
It makes him think about Peter’s reluctance for Tony to pay for over the last couple of instances, and how freaking annoying that is. And rude. 
Honestly, the dude should count himself as one of the lucky guys - Tony is not that magnanimous. He doesn’t experience an impulsive, unthinking eagerness to provide for just anybody.
Oh.
Tony stills in the middle of his bedroom.
Oh no.
He knows what this is.
“This is bad.”
---
*
*
---
tagging: @bylerboyfriends @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @muse-of-gods, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @plueschpop, @spideravocados, @jellybbunny,  @booktrashme, @elfkido, @mycatislickingmybedsheets, @queerghostboyo, @disneyprincessdominatrix, @cherrygoldlove @starkerflowers @starkeristheendgame @thewolffearsher @starkersugar , @starkerforlife6969, @css1992, @parkerrbitch, @fuckmemrstark, @blankblankityblank, @ilovemoreid, @blaquedecember, @killmylonelysoul, @notfor-temporaryuse, @arvaen
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inkdemonapologist · 4 years
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Some of my doodles for Session Six of our Call of Cthulhu game!! We finally got back up with that potion-maker from Last Loop and tried to explain EVERYTHING to her, since she’s the one who seemed the most ready to believe us last time (Also, we saw her voluntarily possessed by a spirit at one point, so it seemed like it would be a good starting point to explain some of our problems).
This went.... chaotically, as there are 0 tells for who’s talking and everyone was very insistent on contributing to the conversation. The alive versions of Sammy and Joey mostly stayed out of this mess.
ALSO!! WE’VE PICKED UP SOME NEW INSANITIES! Henry has a mania that compels him to draw/document everything he learns (in case we lose memories or loop again), Sammy still has the mask thing, Joey’s picked up an obsession with symmetry after witnessing his body horrifically transformed by a corruption across half of it, and Sammy, after seeing the Star Pool lurker’s indescribably horrible non-ink-demon form, is filled with a terrified respect for it and has become strangely deferential. I DID NOT EXPECT SAMMY’S SANITY DROPS TO LINE UP SO PERFECTLY FOR CANON PROBLEMS, 
Anyway, have some more out-of-context quotes!! Some of these are just conversation because imagining people trying to hold a conversation with three different voices coming out of “Henry” is my favourite thing now.
[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]
[Sammy] *summarising* (So we're gonna run by Josephine and see if she has anything that maybe we should know, uh, based on our current predicament, which has gotten even more complicated than the previous time we talked to her, which hasn't happened yet!)
[Alive!Sammy] Is something wrong? [Henry] No! No, everything's fine. Let's go. [Alive!Joey] ...I don't think anything's been RIGHT for a while...
[Sammy] (Are we, as a, uh, unit -- do we have the mask on?)
[Ghost!Joey] There's... three of us in here? [Ghost!Sammy] Sure, that's a normal thing to say!
[GM] Josephine looks like she is trying to figure out what to say, but she is having... trouble. [Ghost!Joey] Have you ever had someone... hang out with you... during the festival? Like, kind of, possession? [GM] She raises an eyebrow, but nods, and says "Yes, that's part of my duty, as a leader of this religion." [Ghost!Sammy] Fantastic. That seems to be happening to us. [Ghost!Joey] We're not, exactly sure how we managed to get... in the past again... but we're -- *points with Henry's non-sketching hand over at the live ones* [Joey] Live!Joey just confusedly shrugs and sips his coffee. [GM] "...Uh, go back a minute."
[GM] "And you don't know how this happened?" [ghost!Joey] Not exactly? I -- [Henry] Sammy fell into a Star Pool, and Joey got killed, or, was a host for the cultists. [ghost!Joey] I don't know if I got killed, but, [Henry] Well, you looked goopy. [ghost!Sammy] I don't know what was going on with me, either; I still seemed to be running around. [Henry] Also very goopy.
[ghost!Joey] So, that's a confusing answer! Um. Let's pretend *points at alive!Joey* that he didn't listen to you, and he went up to the Star Pools anyway, without the potion, and then something happened up there that resulted in whatever is happening to us now, which included us losing our memories and waking up later as the same... entity, but we didn't know for a while, and.... uh... it looks like the last time we saw our bodies that weren't alive and human still, they looked... corrupted by the Star Pools. [ghost!Joey] Do you know what might've happened to cause all that? [GM] "...I think there's a lot to unpack there," she says.
[GM] And, indeed, one of them has turned up a pair of gloves! It's somewhat worn, but they don't have holes or anything. Though they might not match your ensemble. [Joey] As long as they match each other, that's fine! [GM] They do that. [Sammy] (I mean, Henry has-- not to rag on Henry's fashion sense, as a man who's worn nothing but the same shirt and suspenders for twenty years, but Henry doesn't have much of an ensemble going on, really.)
[chatting while Joey's player steps away for a moment] [Sammy] Sorry for making you guys deal with Alive!Sammy; Ghost!Sammy genuinely doesn't know how to argue for this. [Sammy] It's like, yeah I dunno! Sounds like a raw deal! [Henry] Henry also doesn't know how to argue for this, it's like, Hey! Do you want a whole bunch of awful, horrible, terrible memories? ....No? Oh. [Sammy] CANT IMAGINE WHY!! [Sammy] Like, please? I'd like my body back? ...it's your body, we'd be sharing it-- but not like this situation, uh, [Henry] Just please, take... I have... take Sammy back. [Sammy] Could you take this off of my hands, I'm really tired of dealing with it, [Henry] I love 'im. But I need a break. Please come take your lost.... self. [GM] Your wayward self. [Henry] Who's this sassy lost child. [Joey] *re-entering chat* Ah, we're talking about Sammy. [Sammy] OH MY GOSH.
[Henry] I ROLLED A ONE HUNDRED! [Sammy] Henry is VERY tired and distracted. [GM] Henry's sketching again. He was left unattended for a bit and he's sketching again. [Henry] Yup, [Sammy] *sputters* HE CAN'T BE LEFT UNATTENDED, WE'RE BOTH HERE [Joey] HE LITERALLY CAN'T!! [Sammy] THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM!! SAMMY WOULD LOVE TO LEAVE HENRY UNATTENDED!!!
[Sammy] Is the voice familiar? [Joey]  Is it the Lurker's? [GM] A bit...? [Henry] A bit familiar or a bit like the Lurker's? [GM] ...Yes.
[ghost!Sammy] Joey, what do you think it was? [ghost!Joey] I think it has something to do with our situation, and perhaps the fact that-- [ghost!Sammy] "OUR SITUATION" doesn't really clear anything up, that could be a LOT of things right now!
[Sammy] Sammy doesn't want to be back in the actual time we belong in! He's dead in that one!
[Sammy]  I guess it's also Alive!Sammy's turn. I don't, uh, [Sammy]  ...there's too many Sammys, [Joey] (Alive!Sammy just goes WHAT THE FUCK) [Sammy]  Yeah, I don't think he's prepared, when he turns the corner, to find cultists with swords, and Henry immediately drawing a gun and screaming at them; I don't think he's prepared for any of this, or has a game plan for what to do in case this happens, other than just, yelling, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” [GM] at Henry, or the cultists? [Sammy]  ....BOTH????
[Joey] Does Joey know of any way to interrupt magic? [GM] Injuring someone is a good, classic way to do that.
[GM] So, you can do an attack, whether it's with the gun or with your fists! [Sammy] *flipping through character sheet* I mean, I feel like I'm probably not just shooting him, I-- wHEN DID YOU ADD "DUSTPAN" TO MY WEAPONS???
[Sammy] The idea of Joey just continuously accidentally killing people is REALLY funny to me.
[Sammy] This is going MUCH better than the last time that we fought anybody! [Joey] Apparently Joey just needs to be really angry, and then my dice are like, “yeah, you can kill people.”
[GM] *flipping through the rules* Here we go, "Disrupted spellcasting, for example, if they are shot!" Well, okay then-- [GM] ......ohhh. [Sammy]  Uh, [Henry] "Oh?" [GM] HM! ........ let me get a d8. [Henry] Concern...???? [Sammy]  It's probably fine. It's... it's probably fine. [GM] ........ [GM] Uh..... huh. Well. That's an 8. [Sammy]  On the d8. [GM] Yyyeah,..... you disrupted his, casting,,, it's not a serious spell so most of this stuff is not extreme, but I rolled an 8, and that says, [GM] "A mythos monster is accidentally summoned." [Sammy]  WHAT?? [Henry] WHAT??? [Sammy] WHAT???? [Joey] *dying of laughter in the background* [Sammy]  I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION??? OKAY!!! [GM] I didn't think it was, at this level of spell!! [Sammy]  Remember when I said that this was going well? I NEED TO STOP SAYING THINGS.
[Joey] How is Sammy putting on the mask? [Sammy] With his.... hands...? [Joey] No, like, how is it laying on his head, [Sammy] OH.
[Joey] Ghost!Joey would like to turn it so it's like, in the middle of his head. But like, on forehead, so that they can still see. [Henry]  (A fancy visor!) [Sammy] (...you can still see if it’s on the side...) [Joey] (Joey would really like it if we, put it in the middle.) [Sammy] (...I FORGOT YOU HAVE A SYMMETRY THING)
[GM] You felt, when Sammy and the cult leader were both giving the Lurker commands, that there was a kind of tug-of-war going on there, and it seems like the cult leader won that round. [Henry]  Wait, we can give the Lurker commands? [Joey] We're allies. [Sammy] Yeah, we're the host. [Henry]  Oh, um, [Sammy] Sammy asked it for help! It didn't, uh... this is how things always go for Sammy, so, I feel like this is correct.
[Sammy] (...Henry pulls out a gun, someone tries to grab him and he just bashes that person over the head, Joey tries to help by shooting this cult leader to stop him from casting a spell, and this horrible weird bendy monster is unleashed, Henry IMMEDIATELY kneels to this creature, and it starts listening to him, and he grabs the amulet and starts directing it to murder people after pulling the mask down over his face, so, yeah!! I can see that being pRETTY UNSETTLING actually!!)
[Joey] And I've already accidentally summoned a demon, somehow! [GM] This is just how Joey rolls, he just aCCIDENTALLY SUMMONS DEMONS, apparently! Even when OTHER PEOPLE are casting spells, Joey finds a way to accidentally summon a demon!
[Sammy] We do need those; those ARE our bodies running away,
[Lurker, when asked if he can shapeshift] It depends on the host! I didn't do this. It's pretty awesome, though! I feel like this is actually something that was designed to be this way, for the first time I can remember! Deliberate, you know what I mean? [Henry] “Yeah!” Henry says, not knowing what he means.
[Sammy] We're very focused on getting out of here. [Henry] We're channeling Wally Franks! [Sammy] NO! Don't channel Wally Franks! He didn't get outta there he just YELLED ABOUT IT, which is what WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW!! LET'S ACTUALLY GET OUTTA HERE!
[GM] You guys go around a corner that at least obscures you from immediate sight, though it's good the Lurker is as, uh...... [GM] ........ [GM] ........ [GM] ...uh, for lack of a better word, bendy as he is, [players explode with laughter] [GM] I TRIED, I couldn't think of anything else! [Sammy] NO I SAW THE GEARS TURNING IN YOUR HEAD
[GM] You have a small Bendy. [GM] He's blinking. [Henry] Henry is.... is having, a moment,
[Sammy] We're honoured you're joining us, but we really should get moving?
[Henry] Just let him ride on his shoulders like a kid, that'd be adorable! [Henry] Henry's having SO many emotions right now. He wants to be respectful, but also, oh my god, that's so cute?? and also my OC???? Oh my god??????
[GM] I don't think the Lurker is familiar with the concept of piggyback rides. I mean if he's asked I'm sure he's down for whatever, but, [Henry] Henry's gonna ask the Lurker if he wants to climb on his shoulders and ride. [GM] The Lurker thinks this is a FANTASTIC idea, because nobody has ever carried the Lurker around before!
[Alive!Sammy] Sammy's very pale. [Alive!Joey] You have a... Bendy now, Henry...? [Henry] Uh, kinda! This is the Lurker. [Alive!Joey] “The Lurker”? [Henry] The giant monster? He's... small now, so he's not a giant monster.
[Alive!Sammy] Henry WHAT is going on? Or, whoever you are right now, [Henry] It is me; look, I've been letting the others talk because I have no idea what's going on. I don't know... I just want to get everyone out of here alive. [GM] (What a Henry thing to say) [Alive!Sammy] *snarking* Well, we're alive SO far! Maybe don't run at people with swords, in the future? Might help with that. [Henry] That was Sammy. That wasn't me. [Joey] (*laughing* "By the way, that thing you were lecturing me about? That wasn't me, THAT WAS YOU!")
[GM] The Lurker settles down when it is clear that the hug is not a threat.
[Henry] (I AM LOSING IT! I hope you know what you've done to me!) [GM] (I was not expecting this either but here we are!!) [Henry] (Maybe it was my idea. I can't believe I've done this.)
[Joey] Alive!Joey at some point shows Bendy how to hold the pencil. [GM] He says "Oh, hey, neat!" and has an easier time. [Henry] Oh my god, cute? [Sammy] (*losing it in the background*) [Joey] I was just thinking that if he's sitting next to Henry, and he watches the Lurker fumble with the pencil enough, he's going to just, reach up and-- [Sammy] (I LOST NINE SANITY TO THIS ASSHOLE!!!) [Henry] (But he's so cute!) [Joey] (Well now he's cute, maybe you get some sanity back!) [Henry] (Like petting a cat! You get sanity back from petting the Bendy.) [Sammy] (Yes, he is adorable, I will serve him faithfully.)
[GM] Make a navigate check. [Joey] *rolls terribly* Joey doesn't know where the fuck we're going. [Henry] I missed the navigate check too. [Sammy] Ohhhh boy, we better not get lost... [Joey] Sammy, do you remember where we're going? [Sammy] Oh, don't ask Sammy. Don't ask either Sammy. [Sammy] Alive!Sammy will eventually ask "You DO know where we're going, right?" [GM] You guys..... uh, get lost! Well, let me check one thing. [GM] *rolls* [GM] ... THE LURKER, APPARENTLY, CAN GET YOU BACK TO WHERE HE APPEARED,
[GM] What a useful pocket demon. [Henry] I love our pocket demon. [Joey] I love our son... [Sammy] Joey, [Joey] Firstborn... [Henry] Adopted from a cult! [Joey] We went to Haiti and adopted a son. [Sammy] Sammy's role as third wheel here is getting weirder and weirder.
[Sammy] I can't believe Binoculars is a Bendy fan.
[Joey] (Meanwhile, Ghost!Joey remembers something? There is an inscription on the floor between the laundry room, and Josephine's room, that does not allow the passage of evil spirits. I... don't think the Lurker is going to make it past that.) [Henry] (Ohhhhhhhhh) [Sammy] (Hmm. Also... BRINGING THE LURKER in to see Josephine feels, hostile???) [Henry] (OH... I didn't think about that; he's just my kid now!)
[Joey] (I have literally no idea for Joey.) [Sammy] (Gosh, what a thing to ask... I just have to appreciate, what a thing to ask a Type Three -- "Okay, what's YOU?") [Joey] (Joey looks down at the mask, feeling all of his inner masks,,,) [Sammy] ("I'M COMPOSED OF THINGS THAT MAKE OTHER PEOPLE THINK IM SUCCESSFUL,,,")
[Ghost!Sammy] After you. [Ghost!Joey] Actually, I would feel more comfortable if you went first, [Ghost!Sammy] ...Fine. Fantastic. [Joey] (This is-- I don't know if Sammy can feel it, but this is definitely out of, still thinking about the slight guilt that ran through him when Sammy was blaming EVERYTHING on him, and telling him to keep them out of this,) [Sammy] (I mean, Sammy just thinks this is risky and wanted Joey to be the guinea pig, so, that's nice that you were thinking of him!)
[Sammy] A quick kiss won't be enough time for Sammy to like, stop bluescreening in time to react to this? So, um, uh, he- he just, uh, needs, uh, a- a minute, but he, will be, blushing furiously. I think that's the only reaction! [Joey] Perfect~ [GM] The spirit lady probably flashes him a thumbs up. [Joey] *laughing* Sammy DIES. We did all of this to get him alive again, and he just DIES. [Sammy] SLAIN INSTANTLY.
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sarah-sandwich · 3 years
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"I need a hug" please and thank you!
Hi friend! Here it is! Remind me to never commit to a fic a day for an entire week again lmao
Happy last day of National Storyteller Week to everyone who creates or consumes stories! Jump over to my ao3 for 5 ridiculous parkner fics 👌✨💛
Peter, no
He probably should have clued in sooner, a lot sooner.
Him and Peter have been attached at the hip for three years, ever since Peter ran into the lab in the middle of a video call with Tony, shouted something about an arm-wrestling tournament with the Avengers, and begged, “You gotta come trash talk them for me! Please, Mr. Stark! No one roasts as good as you!” Then, after receiving Tony’s resigned agreement, exclaimed, “I’m gonna dislocate Captain America’s shoulder!” turned tail and sprinted back out, ignoring Tony’s, “Peter, no!”
It was over in under a minute but he was bewitched.
“Who was that? And why haven’t I met him?”
“I’ve been avoiding this day,” Tony said in a world-weary tone. “You’re either going to hate each other or get on like a house fire. Either way, I’ll never know peace again.”
In usual Tony Stark fashion, he was right.
He thought he’d seen every side of Peter there is. He’s seen him soft and sleepy under the blue glow of the television. He’s seen him wired and manic as he pursues a project on little to no sleep. He’s seen him broken and bleeding in more ways than he cares to count. He’s seen him laughing until he cries, crying so hard the only thing he can do is cry with him, too exhausted to feed himself, too angry to speak, and he’s been there when he’s on the cusp of dropping dead from embarrassment (usually pointing and laughing but hey, somebody’s gotta keep him humble).
He knows him like he knows his sister, like he knows his mom, like he knows himself.
His point is, it shouldn’t have taken this camping trip to put the pieces together. Realization shouldn’t have hit him like a log to the face when Peter rolled up the sleeves of his borrowed flannel and suddenly he couldn’t breathe for wanting to kiss him stupid.
Well, stupider.
A moment later, Peter picked up the bag of tent poles like they weighed nothing and somehow managed to dump them all over the side of the road like a can of pick-up-sticks.
It’s gonna be a long weekend.
~*~
“What’s this thing for again?” Peter asks, raising his arms high over his head to hold up the long swath of fabric two times his height.
“It’s a rain fly, Peter. It keeps out the rain.”
“It’s not supposed to rain. Trust me, Aunt May checked the weather like 50 times before she would let me leave.”
“We still need it.”
“But why? We could sleep under the stars.”
“It traps in heat.”
“Sounds like another tally in the cons column. It’s hot as fuck, dude.”
“Not tonight it won’t be. Temperature fluctuates a lot in the mountains, especially when the sun goes down.”
“Temperature fluctuates in the mountains,” Peter repeats mockingly.
Harley stops what he’s doing. “If you really wanna sleep under the stars I don’t have to share my tent. Enjoy the skeeters.”
“You love me too much to leave me to sleep with the wildlife,” Peter says, voice muffled from under the rain fly as he attempts to drape it over the erected tent.
His heart skips. Does he know? Has he been that obvious even while oblivious to his own feelings? Did Peter figure it out before he did? Has he been graciously not saying anything about his huge undeniable crush while—
Peter squawks and tumbles forward, the tent collapsing under him with a snap that echoes through the trees. The rain fly flutters over him like a burial shroud.
“Please tell me whatever just broke was a part of you.”
“Uhh, sorry.”
He sighs. He’s in love with an idiot.
~*~
The tent leans a little to the left when they’re done with it but he’s pretty sure it’ll hold up through the night. Just in case, they limit how often they go in and out of it (which, in his opinion, is the way it should be done regardless).
A breeze rustles the trees, scattering pine needles as birds chitter and small unseen wildlife scurries around the underbrush. He breathes in deep, savoring the scent of dirt, pine, and fresh air. He’s been in the city far too long.
Peter stands with his hands on his hips, dirt crusted on the knees of his jeans, his borrowed flannel pulling tight across his chest as he watches a puffy white cloud scoot by with a befuddled expression.
He turns to Harley. “So umm, now what?”
He shrugs. “Whatever you want. You’re the one who’s never done this before?”
Peter stares at him blankly.
“Right. Forgot who I was talking to.” He shakes his head and walks over to the car with a sigh. “This way, city boy. It’s time you learned to fish.”
“Sounds smelly.”
“Mmm.” He pops the trunk and pulls out two fishing rods—one old and dinged up, the other brand-spankin-new—and he passes them to Peter so he can grab the tackle box and a white plastic bucket with a lid on it.
“And slimy,” Peter continues, wrinkling his nose at the bold ‘WORMS’ printed on the side of the white bucket.
“That it is, but there aren’t any rats and no one has pissed on the place you need to sit so it’s automatically better than anything the city has to offer.”
“We’ll see about that,” Peter grumbles.
~*~
“Y’know,” Harley drawls lazily, eyes half-lidded as he watches Peter jump from rock to rock along the shoreline, “usually when people are lookin’ to catch a fish they cast their line into the water rather than leavin’ it on the ground.”
“Oh is that how it’s done? I had no idea,” Peter says, stooping down to peer into a small pool sequestered away from the rest of the body of water. “What do tadpoles look like?”
“Uh, little squirmy guys.”
“Very descriptive, thank you.”
“Mhmm. Anytime, darlin’.”
Peter looks up at him, eyes narrowed and he jolts under the sudden scrutiny.
“What?” he asks. He always calls him darling. It’s just a thing he says—a southern thing. So what if over the years he’s stopped using the name for anyone else? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not weird.
“Are you falling asleep?” Peter asks.
“Pfft, no,” he says. The sun is deliciously warm, seeping into his skin and turning his bones to butter as the katydids buzz and birds sing. A warm breeze ruffs his hair and he finds himself blinking slowly.
“Dude, you’re totally falling asleep.” Peter grins playfully and hopscotches across the rocks back to him as he teases, “You know, usually when someone wants to catch a fish, they do it while they’re awake.”
“I am awake, dummy.”
“Not for much longer.” He comes to a stop at his side and tweaks the brim of his hat. “Look at you. You’re like an old man falling asleep in his recliner in front of the big game.”
“Napping is a perfectly respectable part of fishing,” he argues.
Peter throws back his head and laughs. Backed by blue sky and thickly forested mountain, sunlit from above, he’s never looked better.
Should he tell him? Is now the time? He can’t imagine living like this—knowing how he feels but bottling it up and keeping it a secret from his best friend.
Then again—
His fishing rod dips and he sits up with a start, hands already moving for the reel.
“Woah, is that a fish?” Peter exclaims, peering into the lake.
“Sure hope so. Can’t imagine what else it’d—,”
“Can I pull it in?” Peter asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excitable puppy.
“No, you if wanna get a fish you have to put in the work.”
“What work? Laying around half-asleep?”
“Yeah, exactly. I’ll let you take it off the line, how ‘bout that?”
“Eh, that’s okay. I’m good.”
He wrestles the fish out of the lake, a bass about two hands long, and then holds the flopping fish, hooked through the lip, out to Peter.
“There you go. Just pop that puppy off the hook and toss ‘im back in.”
“Wait, you don’t even keep the fish?”
“What would I do with a fish?”
“…eat it?”
“That’s a whole song and dance I ain’t got the tools or the patience for. Just grab the fish, Pete. Preferably before it suffocates.”
Peter makes an unhappy sound in his throat but reaches for the fish. Just as his fingers brush the scales, the fish gives a mighty wiggle and Peter flinches back towards the lake.
“Eep!” Peter squeaks and goes into the water with a splash.
Harley hunches over, laughing his head off as Peter sits up, water streaming down his face and dripping from his hair.
“I hate you.” Slipping and sliding in the muck, he makes his way through the mid-thigh deep water, back to dry land, and then keeps walking past Harley and up the hill to the trail that will lead him back to camp.
All the while Harley laughs and laughs, taking a moment to free the fish back into the lake before he sits down and tips his face to the sun, chuckling and committing to memory the way Peter’s soaked jeans and flannel clung all over his body.
~*~
“I still don’t see why—,”
“Shush,” Peter snaps, frowning in concentration over the tiny flame he’s been babying to life for the past fifteen minutes.
He sighs. He tried to convince him to wait until supper for a campfire meal but Mr. Eager Beaver insisted on trying his hand at it now. Had they made sandwiches they’d be done by now and could be hiking. But no. Peter wants to play Boy Scout so they’re going to sit here and starve until he gets a fire built just to spend five minutes roasting hot dogs and then have to put it out again.
To make matters worse, Peter’s no longer wearing his shirt since it got soaked in the lake. He’d gotten attached to how he looks in his clothes. Now he’s wearing on one of his standard nerd-pun tees and a wrinkly pair of khaki cargo shorts and he’s going to have to convince him to at least put on long socks before they hike or he’s going to risk getting poison ivy or poison oak all over his calves and ankles.
“There it goes! There it goes!” Peter exclaims, sitting up tall and motioning at him to look at the little flame as it eats up the pile of twigs and tinder.
“Very good, dear,” he says dryly. “Now see if you can keep it going with some real wood.”
Peter cocks his head at him. “Was that a double-entendre?”
“Why on earth would I imply that we should put a part of my human anatomy in the fire, Peter?”
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, squatting beside the fire as he breaks up a stick. “Dick jokes are funny.”
“You’re a child.”
“And yet you— Shit!” He flinches back from the fire and falls on his backside.
He comes alert with a spike of adrenaline, rushing forward to— to— pat out flames with his bare hands? He doesn’t know. “What happened?” he demands, checking Peter over for damage and finding nothing, not a burn or singe in sight.
Still sprawled on the ground, Peter looks up at him through his eyelashes with an embarrassed grimace. “I don’t want to say.”
“But you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” he sits up cross-legged and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He stares down at him as he looks down in his lap. “You’re really not going to tell me what just happened? I already saw you fall in a lake because you were scared of a fish. It can’t be worse than that.”
Peter looks up, neck crimped and mouth screwed into an unhappy pucker. “I thought something was on me but it was just the grass.”
Harley stares. “So, you thought a bug was on you.”
“Yeah. I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this place.”
What has he gotten himself into?
~*~
Peter hasn’t stopped chattering about everything under the sun since they left camp. And considering where they are, there’s a lot to chatter about. From bugs to birds to types of trees and identifying clouds, he’s heard it all. It’s why he’s not paying attention to the path like he should, too busy watching the way Peter waves his hands animatedly as he rambles, the way the sun lights his eyes and makes his hair shine, the way his lips shape the words.
He hasn’t taken in a word he’s said for the past twenty minutes but he’s watched him with rapt attention while his mind churns through his options. He’s not one to ignore something once he knows about it. He doesn’t want to keep this a secret. There’s no reason to. It’s nothing shameful and if Peter doesn’t reciprocate then… well, nothing changes, right? He’s fine with that. Best friends is still good. Great, even.
But if Peter does reciprocate…
His breathing quickens at the thought. How did he not notice this ridiculous crush sooner? It’s like something has been awakened inside him and now it refuses to shut up and go back to sleep. He gravitates towards Peter like an orbiting moon. He’s a moth to Peter’s beam of light. Helpless under the thrall.
Peter suddenly looks right at him. “—you know what I mean?”
“Huh?” His foot lands wrong and rolls over a root. His ankle screams out and then he’s dropping as it gives out.
“Woah!” Peter catches him, one arm around his back and the other fisted into his shirt at his shoulder. His brain goes offline, only processing the way Peter is pressed against him, the way his face is angled over him like he’s on the verge of dipping him into a kiss, the way neither of them moves or speaks, staring instead with startled realization.
He thinks he imagines it when Peter’s eyes dilate but then they fix on his lips and there’s no way he’s imagining that.
Lights flash in his head and he forgets to breathe as they hang suspended in time.
Then Peter bites his lip and his cheeks flush dark pink as he yanks Harley upright.
He stumbles, unprepared, and his ankle gives out a second time.
Peter catches him by the elbows babbling, “Oh my God, I’m sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t mean to—,”
“I’m fine. I…” The rest of the sentence vanishes from his tongue as he looks into Peter’s eyes. He loves his eyes—warm and affectionate, they always give him away. Whether they’re bright with curiosity, sparkling with delight, wide with embarrassment, or narrowed in anger, he’s an open book. That’s why the look in his eyes now gives him pause. He’s never seen it before—or maybe it’s been there all along but he hasn’t noticed until now.
They’re dark and focused like he’s seeing through him into his soul and likes what he sees so much he wants to eat him alive.
His heart thunders as he lifts a hand to Peter’s cheek. This is it. This is the moment he tells him and finds out where they’re going to go next.
Peter’s eyes go wide and he swallows thickly, but then his gaze shifts beyond him and he freezes except to carefully grab his forearm in a too-tight grip.
“Bear,” Peter breathes.
His awareness of their surrounding returns so suddenly it hurts. Birds sing, bugs buzz and chirp, somewhere nearby a creek burbles, and behind him on the path, something scuffs the ground and then snorts and sniffs harshly.
“No,” he says quietly. No, he refuses to allow this to be his reality. This cannot be happening. He won’t allow this to happen.
“Harley, bear,” Peter repeats, grip tightening.
Oh my God, this is happening.
“Don’t run,” he says in an undertone. “You’re not supposed to run.”
“We gotta run.”
“Peter, no.”
“Harley, there’s a fucking bear.”
“Listen to me—,”
“I’m gonna grab you—,”
“—we gotta stay still and—,”
“I’ll carry you and—,”
“—non-threatening so—,”
“I’m going to get you up a tree and then—,”
“—it won’t chase us.”
“—the bear will chase me.”
“Peter—,”
“It’ll be fine.”
“—no.”
~*~
He waits in the tree for over an hour, ankle throbbing, sick to his stomach with worry, wondering if he’ll ever see the idiot he stupidly fell in love with ever again. Even if he didn’t get eaten by the bear, he’s no good out here in the woods. He could be lost. He could be too hurt to move. He could be—
—covered in what smells like animal shit and standing balefully at the base of the tree.
“I need a hug,” Peter says, voice small.
“Did you—,”
“I did what needed to be done.”
“So that’s—,”
“Don’t say it. Do you need help getting down?”
“I’ll figure it out. Don’t touch me.”
“That’s fair. I’ll be in the lake. Will you bring me all of the soap and soap-like products we own?”
“Yeah. Gimme a minute.”
“Thanks, Harley.”
“Peter?”
“Yeah?”
I love you. I’m glad you’re not dead. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come back. My life wouldn’t be the same without you in it. You’re everything I want.
“You’re an idiot,” he says.
Peter nods. “Yeah.”
~*~
“Black bears can run 35 miles per hour,” he says conversationally. They’re sprawled on a blanket while the fire crackles nearby (but not too close, they’ve had enough disasters for one day). His foot is propped on the tackle box, elevating his ankle and Peter is beside him, flat on his back staring up at the stars through the trees, close enough that their arms brush.
“Trust me, I know.”
“They can also climb trees,” he continues reading from his phone. “You should never climb a tree to avoid a bear.”
“Harley—,”
“If a bear notices you, stay calm. Most bears don’t want to attack you.”
“Dude, I get it.”
“Move away slowly and sideways. Do not run. Do not climb a tree.”
Peter snatches the phone out of his hands and sits up. “I panicked, okay? I can’t lose you! I had to get you out of there.”
He goes still, the crackling of the fire and the crickets the only sound in the night.
“Say again?”
“Don’t,” Peter says harshly, still holding his phone far out of reach. “Don’t make fun of me about this one. You don’t get it, okay?”
This isn’t how he expected this to happen. Hyper aware of his heart beating in his chest, he asks, “What don’t I get?”
“I was terrified.”
“And you think I wasn’t?”
“Not in the way I was. I was— It was like— It was like if anything happened to you, nothing would be okay ever again. I don’t—,” He pulls in a deep breath, chest heaving as his eyes shine uncommonly bright in the firelight. “I don’t know. You’re— Ever since we met things have just felt right and good in a way they hadn’t before and I’ve already lost so many people and then you were in danger and I couldn’t do nothing. I couldn’t.”
“Okay,” he says gently, sitting upright and scooting over on the blanket. “Okay.” He takes the phone and sets it aside then takes Peter’s hand in both of his. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m okay.”
“I think I’m in love with you,” Peter says miserably, sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand. “I think I have been for a long time.”
“Well, that’s lucky because I think I’m in love with you too.”
“You— What?”
“Mhmm. Since at least this morning.”
Peter stares at him. His lips twitch. “This morning? For real? Are you teasing me?”
“A hundred percent serious. It hit me right before you dumped my tent poles all over 36th street. Unrelated, you should wear my clothes more often.” He pauses and then says, “I think today was the universe asking me if I was sure I wanted to be tied down to your dumb ass for the rest of forever.”
“And?” Peter asks, eyes wide in the firelight.
“Yeah,” he says, smoothing a curl away from his forehead. “I’m sure.”
Peter leans in and kisses him, soft and quick. “Is that okay?”
Heart in his mouth, he says, “I think you can do better.”
Peter laughs and smooths his thumb over his cheekbone. “I love you.”
“I love you too, darlin’.”
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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years
Text
Day five of Horror on Cherry Lane Challenge! Today’s prompt was monsters!
Little brat’s been in the school ten minutes after the bell.
After they both broke curfew, Max staying out late trick-or-treating and going to one of her little friends’ house to trade candy, and Billy crashing at the lingering party until he was sober enough to come home and not get his ass kicked, they were supposed to be straight home today. Used up all their free time for the week apparently.
Max knew that this morning, he already told her to forget about the damn AV club. If he had to cancel on whatever chick he was going to take out (was it Carol? No, Carol is Tommy’s girl. Fuck he doesn’t know anybody yet) Max had to give her shit up to.
He gets bored of waiting for the little twerp and tosses his cigarette to the ground, marching in there his damn self.
Only time he’s ever been in this building was to pick Max up from AV. His dad made him come all the way inside and give his assessment on the teacher. Asked (slapped him and demanded it) that he do so to check on Max. Just to be sure. Like he cares.
But it works out anyways that he knows the way now that Max has decided to disappear and it’s up to him to track her down. Only problem is he gets there, and the room is empty. Not even just that Max isn’t in there, there’s no damn kids or teacher or nothing. Just a knocked over lamp and some shit on the floor.
He ain’t trying to hunt her down, but he has to get her back home in like, the next half-hour, and she’s somewhere she ain’t supposed to be. The school isn’t very big, half the damn building is closed off for the school board to use, so there isn’t much ground to cover.
He’s not trying to get himself arrested either, so he makes quick work of the school, checking all the places Max might be. Still, he comes up empty, and he’s about to just give up and let whoever she was with keep her when he sees something scurrying across the floor out of the corner of his eye.
It’s not really any of his business whether or not the middle school is infested, but it catches his eye for the wrong reasons.
It’s a gnarly little thing, a cross between a frog and rat or some shit, but Billy’d recognize that thing anywhere. It’s a fucking monster, crawling around the halls of his sisters school.
Purely on instinct, he tracks the thing to where it cornered itself, taking advantage of the fact that it’s still small and growing into its demon teeth to stomp on the gross monster. He stops once he’s positive it’s dead and not just faking him out like they do sometimes, he’s not gross or something, but he nearly jumps out of his skin when behind him, Max shouts, “Billy!”
He turns, ignoring the pile of goop that was one of those things to face his, apparently, from the flush on her cheeks and the bitterness in her tone, “Jesus, shitbird. What is wrong with you?”
He’s hardly even got the question out before Max snaps at him, “Why would you kill it!”
“Do you even know what that thing is?” Billy raises eyebrows, no patience for Max telling him what to do, but she counters with something that surprises him, “It was Dustins, he discovered it, you jerk!”
“Yeah, no. These things’ve been around longer’n any of us have been alive. And I don't care who found it first. They’re fucking monsters.”
“How do you even know what he was? You killed him.”
“It. Not him. Don’t humanize them.” Billy hisses, warning Max, “And anyways, I seen some shit kid. Don’t ask. And don’t play around with anymore of these little fuckers. Give ‘im a day or two ‘n he’ll be the size of a gray wolf. Another month or so and he’s seven feet tall.”
“But what is he?” Max demands stubbornly.
Billy answers simply, “Something you don’t want anything to do with.”
By now, the rest of Max’s friends have followed the sound of her yelling to their little showdown, and it’s Dustin, the owner of this thing, that chimes in, “But wait, does that mean you know?”
“Know what?” Max huffs, but she gets ignored, Billy firing back at Dustin, “Do you?”
All four of the kids nod at once. Billy sighs deeply, “Jesus, how the fuck did a bunch of little kids get caught up in this bullshit?”
“How did you?” These kids aren’t very original coming back at him with his own questions like this.
Again Max interjects, being left out of the questioning just making her more confused. “Excuse me, but what exactly are we talking about?”
But again nobody acknowledges her, Billy busy answering the boys’ questions.
“Had a friend came from that lab. You know about that part too?” He clarifies, getting three attentive nods, and this time one disapproving scowl, as he explains, “Well the monsters followed ‘im. Through their portals and his head and shit, they were out in California too. That’s how I know I was right to kill that thing.”
There’s a moment of stunned silence before Mike insists, “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t know, man. How else would he know about everything?” Lucas shrugs, exciting Dustin and promoting him to ask, “Do you think he knows about Eleven too?”
“I’m still here too you guys. What is going on?” Max interrupts, serving only as a reminder, Lucas turning the conversation back to Billy as he asks, “Why haven’t you told Max?”
Billy smugly tries their little deflecting shtick on them, “Could ask you the same. Why are you showing her the monsters if you ain’t gonna tell her jack about ‘em either? I was keeping her safe. You assholes were keeping her stupid.”
Max interjects, “Hey!”
“No, that’s not fair. We had to sign an NDA.” Dustin corrects, very matter of fact for a kid who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“Yeah, me too kid. It wasn’t any secret that number six escaped. I’ve had those assholes watchin’ over my shoulder for years and I didn’t even do anythin’.” Billy feels like he’s having a trauma competition with a bunch of middle schoolers, and he hates it. His tone is harsh as he demands, “Which brings us into, what the hell did you do to get caught up in all this?”
“None of your business.” Mike spits, but for the first time in the conversation, Will chimes in, “I got taken. By the demogorgon.”
“Okay. What’s that got to do with this, kid?”
“The demogorgon is what we called the big one. Before El killed it.” Lucas explains.
“Look, I don’t know who El is, but believe me when I tell you, you brats don’t know nothing. There ain’t just one of those, you know. Every last one of those annoying little fuckers like the one I just squished’ll turned into a ‘big one’.” They all look collectively defeated by that, maybe because he knows more than they do, or maybe just because they didn’t want to admit it was that bad.
But none look more ghastly than Will, who barely manages to inform them, “That’s bad. Last night, I heard them while we were trick-or-treating. They were everywhere.”
“Then we’re gonna have to do something.” Dustin declares determinedly, but Billy shuts it down right away, “No. Seriously, what the hell? All you sorry little punks are going right the fuck back home and pretending none of this never happened. If you don’t provoke ‘em, they’ll stop.”
“But they weren’t provoked when they took Will.” One of then argues, but Billys ignoring them now, turning back to a no less calm Max, “I don’t care. I ain’t doing this shit all over again. Come on, Maxine. Gotta leave your little friends to their baby ‘demogorgon’ and their world saving bullshit.”
Max scrunches her face up and argues, “Um, did you forget that I still have no idea what the hell is going on?!”
“Honestly, yeah.” Billy admits, “But s’better if you don’t ask questions. Now if you please, we gotta go.”
“No. You’re being a jerk.” Max crosses her arms and glares at him, a clear sign shes refusing to leave with him.
Billy just shrugs, “M’always a jerk. Thought you’d know that by now.”
“I do. And that’s exactly why I’m not listening to you. If my friends are going to do something, I want in on it.”
“Look what you little fuckers did.” Billy grumbles at the boys before trying to reason with his sister again, “Max. We only got fifteen minutes out of an almost half hour drive to get home. Come on.”
“This is so much bigger than that! I don’t care what your stupid dad says, I want to do something!” Her attitude gets on Billy’s nerves. That’s definitely deliberate if the spite gleaming in her cold eyes is any indication.
“You don’t even know what it is!”
“Then I deserve to find out!”
Billy sighs deeply, done doing this with a bunch of little kids in over their heads, “You know what, fine, but we’re stoppin’ at a payphone and you’re gonna be the one to tell my old man I’m takin’ you out for.. I don’t know, fucking ice cream or some shit. And if we get in trouble, I’m blaming you. Deal?”
Max smiles to herself at having gotten one over on him, “Deal. Where are we going though?”
“I dunno. Ask your nerds. S’their big fucking idea.” Billy grumbles, matching Max’s bitterness.
“We’ll have to call a meeting.”
“Will my basement work?”
“No offense, but I don’t think he’s getting past your mom.” Dustin nods towards Billy, the older boy rolling his eyes even though he’s not wrong, then offers, “My mom doesn’t like visitors. Maybe Will’s?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Byers will let anybody come over.”
“And she already knows what’s going on.”
They all nod again, and Billy rolls his eyes at them again while Lucas relays their decision to Max, “Alright, meet us at Will’s in an hour.”
“Why that long though? We’re all here right now.”
“Gives us time to cover our tracks, shitbird.” Billy hums in response to Max, stepping forward and asking, “What’s the damn address?”
This ‘meeting’ the twerps called was pretty much everyone in this hick town that knows the same dirty little secret as he does getting together in a tiny house and panicking. Billy and Max get fully interrogated like, a dozen times, once by the damned chief of police himself, all the while everyone is coming up with theories and plots and arguing. So much fucking arguing among this lot.
It gets to be too much pretty quickly, day five in this place and he’s already having to jump back into some of the worst things that ever happened to him. None of these people realize how big this is. Especially not the kids who just think it’s badass to fight monsters.
He leaves without telling anyone, or without anyone noticing among the chaos, to the back porch to light one up. There’re ashtrays all over the house he could use, but looming smoke in that cramped little kitchen wasn’t going to be any better than watching it curl upwards to the stars. So outside it was.
He leans against the wall, gaze fixing straight to what’s above him. He doesn’t notice the presence of another person until he hears them speak, startling slightly at the sound of a voice breaking the calm silence of a humid November night.
It’s Steve, sitting on a rusty and banged up glider at the opposite end on the porch, lit up just like he is. “So, uh. I guess you’re a part of this now?”
“I guess I am.”
Steve just nods and responds simply, effectively ending the conversation, “Right.”
But that’s not satisfying to Billy. He might appreciate peace more than what’s going on in that house, but he doesn’t like empty silence either. “What’re we all awkward like this for, Harrington? Spit out what you’re thinkin’.”
“I dunno, man.”
Billy frowns, prompting, “Come on. I know them gears are turnin’ over there. You've been quiet since we all got here.”
Steve looks away from him, but he does answer, “I dunno it’s just.. We’ve lost so much. People died because of this. People I knew. And I don’t like that anyone else is involved I guess.”
Billy scoffs, “Even me? You don’t even know me other than the asshole you met at the party last night.”
“So? What do you mean even you? I don’t want anyone anywhere near those fucking monsters. Could be my worst enemy and I’d still save them. I’d protect anyone from those things.” The haunted look behind his eyes, which seem so tired the longer Billy looks, tells Billy everything he needs to know.
He doesn’t mean to sound so soft when he asks, “What makes you so confident you can? Save ‘em I mean.”
“I fought a demogorgon myself. Well, not really by myself. Nancy and Jonathan were there. But I took a nail bat to its fucking face. Like hell I’d just let one of those things get anyone. Even you.” Steve
Billy flicks away his burnt out cigarette, sitting next to Steve on the old glider. “That’s real touching H, but I ain’t letting nobody sacrifice themselves for me. Need I remind you I’ve fought these assholes too.”
“But you told the kids you didn’t. Said it was all your friend.” Steve looks at him, sort of doubtful, but Billy blows off the remark, “No shit Sherlock. I ain’t airing all my business to any nosy brats like them.”
“I get that, but.. “ Hesitantly, he clarifies, “Is.. your friend, you know, even real?”
Billy must look at him like he grew a second head, “Shit, man, you think I’m one of those freaky experiments? No way. ‘Course he was real.”
“Oh. You said ‘was.’ Does that mean...” Steve’s voice trails off, sparing him hearing the words out loud.
“Don’t know. He got caught about two years back. Haven’t heard from him since. They might’a brought ‘im back here, they might’a killed him. I dunno.” Billy shrugs, picking at his nails while he talks so he doesn’t have to acknowledge Steve, or the fact that he’s even admitting this shit to him, “That’s why we’re here in Hawkins though. Susan’s got family over in Hope and a little ways up by Indie, so I suggested Hawkins. Just to come see where he came from. Get some closure I guess.”
“Guess he was really important to you then?” Steve smiles softly, but Billy only sighs through his nose, “You got no idea, Harrington.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll meet someone like him again.” He offers.
Somehow that sentiment immediately sets Billy on edge though, something about his tone implying that he knows, knows him and six were more than just friends, and Billy really doesn’t want to face that kind of monster tonight. He snaps, suddenly defensive, “What the hell’s that s’posed to mean?”
Steve’s face falls a little, evidently surprised by how upset Billy is, and he tries to fix it, “Oh I just thought that, the way you talked about him- and you look so sad when you do- that he was, you know, special to you.”
“So what? You gonna leave me to the monsters or some shit for that?” Billy growls, quickly warranting more defense from Steve, “What? No way. No I.. I get it, Billy. I do. More than you probably think I do.”
Billy half nods, his shoulders untensing as he slowly recognizes Steve’s genuinity. He mumbles eventually, working through what he needs to in his head to be comfortable talking openly with him again, “Didn’t expect to be getting relationship counseling too. That your assignment on the team, mister romance expert?”
“Shut up. You’ve never seen me swing a bat before.”
“Oh believe me, I cannot wait to.”
Steve’s smile returns, something Billy is personally glad for, though he might not be ready for that realization yet. He bumps their shoulders together, to hold Billy's attention and let him know he’s genuine, “Still, in all seriousness man, I hope you can find someone else like that for you. I know it’s not really easy pickings around here.”
This time, Billy’s tone is light, his features soft and vulnerable for the boy next to him, for the way he makes him feel less weighed down, less alone in this, “You got no idea, Harrington.”
19 notes · View notes