#inattentive depression

[anxietyfrappuccino]

i feel like crying and i should probably just cry to cry and get it all out... but then nothing changes and the cycle continues and it hurts all over again

#adhd #adhd inattentive #social anxiety #anxiety culture #anxious #anxiety depression #maybe autistic #i feel stupid for questioning #inattentive depression #attention defecit #attention deficit disorder (add) #my phone is making notification noises when one of it's problems is that it never does that... and like #why is it doing it now... at night... when i don't need it to

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

okay, weird thought, but does anyone else have like a "safe scene" for when you have really violent intrusive thoughts or repetitive triggers or ptsd flashbacks that just keep cycling in your brain over and and over so you try to force your brain into that scene because it's safe? like mine for example is someone rolling up a scroll (one with the visual memory) and putting it into a barrel and then walking away to a far away gazebo. like.... anyone else? just like a scene your brain reverts to when you just don't want to see a memory?

#ocd #depersonalization #ptsd #complex ptsd #childhood trauma #highly sensitive people #nerodivergent #high functioning depression #trauma #intrusive thoughts #intrusive thinking #intrusive daydreaming #intrusive images #violent thoughts #bad memories #emotional abuse #daydreaming #adhd inattentive #adhd #derealization #disociation

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

[becky-bats]

#adhd tag #adhd stuff #adhd problems #adhd inattentive #adhd #adhd feels #living with adhd #adhd brain #depressing memes #unmotivated #new memes #memes #meme #memes image #best memes #mental health #relatable #relatable memes #sailor moon memes

[vangoghinthehead]

when i feel as though i am not existing, i want to exist, but when i feel myself existing i fear i do not want to exist

#anxiety #depression #existence #existentialism #my post #my thoughts #how do i live #how should i live #not sure what else to tag this #social anxiety #adhd inattentive #idk #just another wednesday

[lucysweatslove]

Finally back home!

So the “testing” was literally a brief 30 min convo where she asked some clarifying questions from my intake form and then I did the WAIS-IV. That’s it, just the WAIS. The psychologist did tell me though that she isn’t interpreting my scores on the typical IQ scale but is looking at how my own scores compare to each other. The psychometrist was taking times I think in between lines and for each problem, so I’m curious if they will be looking at how I fatigue and my error rate as time goes on for some tasks like the processing speed ones.

I also hate the general knowledge questions because how tf am I supposed to know the circumference of the earth around the equator in this setting if I have never not once heard it? I tried doing the fermi problem way of rationalizing it but I couldn’t quite scale what I know to be ~300 mi to the equator in my head. Whatever. And like. I give 0 shits about any European historical monarchy (or history in general- why bother remembering specifics when the internet exists) so my brain has pruned any of that information I may have gotten 15 years ago and thus I couldn’t tell you that stuff. I always hate how it’s administered because I have a VAST knowledge of anything sciency (you know, things I’m interested in) but nah if you cant remember who one monarch was and then can’t remember a geography question then who cares how much science info you’ve retained.

Anyway I was expecting that computer based attention test but nope just intelligence testing. And I won’t find out concrete results for 3 more weeks so I’ll see the NP before then. I was hoping to get some answers and be on a first trial medicine before I go to my rural site (one month from today) but I guess probably not. And I guess that’s also if they see patterns of ADHD in me. Which they might as I tend to do poorly on processing speed and working memory tests, I just don’t know if the effect size will be large enough for them to agree that yes I have adhd.

#it sucks because I’ve already been diagnosed twice #my personal therapist who is also a PhD even told me that she will talk to the NP and neuropsychologist about her observations #because I am so classically inattentive type per DSM that it’s ridiculous to put me through all of this #the second person diagnosed me after a clinical interview as well and I think that was just further clarity and assurance #like to say yes multiple people agree on this diagnosis #even my new NP thinks it’s likely but is getting this FOURTH opinion bc??? idk??? #maybe it’s bc I have a history of depression but the WAIS isn’t going to tease out ADHD vs depression vs autism #like all 3 will lead to decreased in working memory and processing speed #because shockingly (sarcasm) all 3 can cause issues with executive functioning

[venacoeurva]

I’m gonna try to get on antidepressants again after weaning off safely as I clearly need to be on SOMETHING, but has anyone with unmedicated ADHD (my symptoms are pretty mild to moderate so I don’t bother pursuing it for that purpose and I am not diagnosed (working on that, slowly) but that shit is like. way obvious) have experiences with Zoloft?

Obvs it will be different for everyone, but Lexapro was an emotionally blunting brain fog sleepy nightmare that exacerbated my symptoms in the worst ways and I don’t want to repeat, but Zoloft seems like a decent alternative.

#vena vents #not art #It will mostly be for targeting the anxiety the depression is minimal #I know wellbutrin works well with ADHD but it causes some people anxiety spikes and paranoia #like my ADHD symptoms are annoying but they're manageable when not on anything but my anxiety spirals #when I was on lexapro they went to absolute shit after a while and I was even more restless and inattentive and couldn't retain info or #memories for longer than like 3 seconds #which I know sometimes anxiety sort of overrules the symptoms but fuckin yeesh

[qtubbo]

Every time someone calls tubbo’s dissociative episodes him being forgetful about sunny or being unaware of his surroundings I die a little. I just have to keep repeating to myself that most people don’t know this stuff. People just don’t understand depression is more than thoughts of harming yourself. (ABOUT THE CHARACTER)

#tw self destructive behavior #tw suicidal tendencies #tw suicide mention #tw suicidal ideation #Like I understand people don’t know that stuff #But its painful to see people calling him a bad dad thats not looking after his daughter #Thats just forgetting about them because he doesn’t care enough #When it’s depression #I can see one person understand qtubbo is suicidal but in the next say he’s an inattentive father

[morayofsunshine]

hey next on "wildly irresponsible health related youtube ads" who the FUCK greenlit those ads painting adhd as a "depression response" and offering different Procrastination Types like it's a personality quiz

#this is less harmful than other ads i've seen but it's still wildly inaccurate and not supported by research #if anything some experiences of depression are a response to living with adhd #and sometimes people find out they have adhd because they experience depression (aka moi) #but adhd isn't a result of depression. what. #also there are adhd types but those types are 'inattentive' 'hyperactive'and 'combined' not *checks list* #'dreamer' 'mixed' 'perfectionist' 'overdoer' and 'worrier'??????

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I do not feel real. The world is going on around me but I am a stranger.

An outsider.

I don't feel real. Not really. I know I am, but sometimes I wonder.

I cannot focus, if this isn't real, what is?

The world runs in circles around accomplishments I have yet to see.

I cannot focus, my body is here but my mind is away.

Thoughts are broken. Fragmented, like a million comma splices.

I feel so alone here. Everyone else seems to feel real, but I feel so odd, like a ghost haunting a body, wondering if someone will notice.

There is no one to tell. No one understands.

How do you explain that nothing feels real? That it all feels like some sort of dream you have to wake up from at some point but never do.

Does the rest of the world exist? Is it all a figment of my half insane mind? How would I know?

I wish I could stop this feeling. Finally feel life finally get everything done I need to.

But... I suppose that's why I'm here anyway. So much to do, enough time. So. Why. Can't. I. Focus?

I have to hide these feelings. No one can know how much of an outsider I truly am.

I told them. They dont care. Don't know what to do. Don't know what's wrong with me.

I wish I knew. But an explanation wouldn't fix me. Nothing truly does.

They're to busy to care anyway. Trying to fix themselves, put a band aid over a crack in a large dam.

How do you ask for help if no one can help you?

I do not feel real. Time is slipping away.

I've done nothing.

I wish I could. But my mind is so fractured, so frazzled nothing seems to process, to matter.

There is so much I must do.... So I suppose I do none of it.

Time goes so slow. But they day is half over.

I wish I felt real.

I wish my life mattered more to me.

#tw sucidal ideation #tw: sucidal thoughts #emotional abuse #depersonalization #daydreaming #adhd #highly sensitive people #childhood trauma #trauma #dissacociation #high functioning depression #shower thoughts #idk how to tag this #adhd paralysis #adhd inattentive #neurodivergence #neurodiverse stuff #neurodivergent #adhd struggles #panic attack #social anxiety #anxiety attack #anxiety disorder #panic disorder #anxitey #mental illness #actually mentally ill #task paralysis #decision paralysis #Stress

[alucardsinep]

the day was horrid but at least im being productive now

#kiki speaks #doctor appointment was so fucking bad #like not to doubt medical professionals but damn the inattention part of adhd does go unnoticed huh #'you have anxiety and depression uuhhhhh take ur meds about it and idk talk to someone' my brother in christ ive been on this for 4 years? #dont see myself getting any better #i dont even think im depressed im just in a vague state of ?????? #occasionally interrupted by napping three times a day #or cleaning every kitchen appliance i own at midnight #idk i just. feel fairly helpless in my own life like. #when i do seek help it comes out unhelpful #ough gonna wash this kettle then go to bed and uuhhh hope im better tomorrow i just feel so Bad #eueueueueuugghhh

[theyslgirl]

school with untreated bpd, adhd & depression is hell

#i cant do this anymore #i want to die #i wish i was normal #mentally ill #tw depression #bpd #adhd inattentive #i need medication

[vangoghinthehead]

is my perspective only my mental illness

#mentally ill #mental illness #bad mental health #depression #adhd inattentive #anxiety #my post #today i feel like #shitty thoughts #sad #confused #my thoughts #sadcore #who the fuck even am i #feeling like all i am is a walking set of symptoms #feeling like shit

[braindamaged007]

Them: You just like attention

Me: Uhhh, yea.. Who tf doesn't?

The introverted side of me: .... You

#introverted extrovert #introverted #introvert #extrovert #the duality of me #this is my life #mentally unstable #mentally fucked #mental disorder #social anxiety #anxitey #anxienty #anxious #kinda depressing #this is depressing #bpd problems #bpd sucks #bpd #adhd brain #adhd inattentive #adhd post #adhd #adhd life #being autistic #actually autistic #autistic feels

[literary-lesbianism]

I Know

#my adhd #adult adhd #adhd #adhd problems #adhdlife #adhd inattentive #mental illness #poems and quotes #original poem #poems on tumblr #spilled poem #poem #short poem #poemsbyme #my poem #depressing poem #sad poem #poetry #young poets #poetblr #poets on tumblr #female poets #writers and poets #adderall #poetic #poems and poetry #short poetry #sad poetry #poetsandwriters #original poems

[dullahandyke]

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WOOO HALFWAY THERE!! could stop for the night but let's keep the ball rolling. 3am ily. I do fr need to eat something tho so break time < has been constantly taking breaks

#this essay shits easy if im able to sit foen and do it. but that is the trial #everyone please join the ritalin summoning circle and manifest for me for friday #yer man said he thinks i have inattentive type anyway as long as he can rule out depression yippeee #and i think i passed that screener test tho ill b real it was a littlr difficult