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starrtiny · 1 month

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Can't Help Myself No More

a/n this is my first fic so i hope ya'll enjoy :)) I had this idea planned but it took me almost a month to write... i hope it's worth it for y’all

summary: To put it plainly, the guy was a nerd. A hot nerd you wanted to fuck! Chris is eye candy to everyone in the office - including you. Only, he doesn't see it. He's too sweet and innocent to see the flirting and the hidden intentions of everyone around him, or is he? Maybe he's not who he seems to be... words - 6.5k general - explicit content, chan + female reader, mutual pining, colleagues to lovers, semi-public sex, he's kind of a virgin, praise + degradation kink if you squint

🎵 007 - Tabber

You let out a loud sigh and sat up in your seat as you looked at the clock on the wall across from you. It was a Friday night and way past the end of shift, but you’d been given so much work this past week that you had no choice but to work overtime. And it just so happened to be with non-other than Chris.

Most of the lights had been turned off and it was just you two left in the office. You had barely spoken to him since the start of the week and the tension lingered heavily in the room. You didn’t know why, it’s not like what you had seen was a big deal, but for some reason it still weighed on your mind and no matter what, you just couldn’t shift it.

You didn’t know how to speak to him, after all, he wasn’t the person you thought he was anymore.

No! Stop being overdramatic!

He was the same person – he just wasn’t how you perceived him to be. He wasn’t a sad loser, he wasn’t weak, and he certainly didn’t rely on you.

You were bitter.

You needed him to need you and god did it pain you to admit it.

Monday morning. You were sat at your desk, still half asleep, praying for it to be Friday already. Your ears had pricked up at the mention that Chris had arrived. Pulling your head up off the table, you groaned at the thought of him being finely polished and his cheerful self this early in the morning.

‘How are you so happy on a Monday morning?’ you had questioned him as he arrived at the desk opposite yours, placing his bag on top and wrapping his jacket around the back of his chair, your eyes hesitating on his arms as his biceps flexed.

Chris was fit. Physically.

He loved working out and you were in awe of how strong a man like him was. Chris was eye candy around the office too, and it always made you laugh at how oblivious he was too it. The younger girls were constantly bringing him snacks and drinks, offering to do the littlest things for him, twirling their hair whenever he walked by or spoke to them to turn them away (extremely politely of course).

‘They’re just being kind,’ he had always told you.

As far as you knew, Chris was single. He had been the whole time you knew him. He had never shown any interest in anyone at work either, whether he knew pretty much the entire office was hitting on him or not. It did surprise you, but in a sad way, you kind of liked it. He was hot but you also found him incredibly adorable. The way he sought your approval on every piece of work he did, even though you two were on the same level. The way he would get you anything without you needing to ask. The way he would scrunch his nose as he pushed his glasses up at the bridge…

To put it plainly, the guy was a nerd. A hot nerd you wanted to fuck!

‘Guess I’m just a morning person,’ He smiled at you, and you felt your heart melt. It happened every time and it never got old. ‘I was about to go grab coffees for everyone, you coming’?’

The sun glared in your eyes as you walked down the street, side by side next to Chris, and you could feel your face burning, cursing yourself for not putting on sunscreen that morning. You laughed with him as he attempted to shield your face, bumping into each other multiple times due to lack of vision and personal space. Anyone walking past on the street would assume you two to be a couple and it made your heart ache. You ignored the pain and forced yourself to block that idea from your head. You didn’t have a crush on him, you just didn’t object to the idea of being with him... You were just curious what it would be like… Right?

He held open the door for you as you entered to store and you watched from a distance as he ordered your drinks, oblivious to the women behind the till writing her number on his cup.

That was when it had happened.

You blamed yourself for being too obsessive.

If you weren’t insistent on hanging from his every word and move, you would have missed it. You wouldn’t be in the position you are now.

Chris had pulled his wallet from his back pocket, using his card to pay for the drinks for the office. Your eyes were caught by the light being reflected from a packet inside and your heart sank, a pit growing in your stomach making you feel more nauseous by the second.

You spent the rest of the day, the rest of the week, fighting yourself on it, deciding whether to care or not. He was a grown man after all, and it wasn’t really your business, but it was Chris. You couldn’t argue that he was extremely hot so him being with other people wouldn’t really be a surprise, but this was the man who was blissfully unaware of the flirting he received from his colleagues for two whole years.

Maybe you just wanted him to be innocent. Maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did after all…

What you did know however, was that this only made you want him more!

“Have you finished for tonight?” you hear Chris utter as he looks up from his computer.

“Yeah, I think so,” you moan. “I’m not going to get very far with this tonight. I’ll have a fresh start Monday morning” you let out a weak smile in his direction.

“Give me a few minutes, I’ll drive you home”.

What the fuck…

You gave him a slight nod, caught off guard.

Chris had never offered anything like that before, what did it mean? Maybe you were reading too far into this, but then again, you’d known each other for years and didn’t even know where each other lived. What was with the suddenly change...?

Your thoughts were interrupted by noise of Chris rapidly tapping against his keyboard, your focus being instantly drawn as his slender fingers were lit up by the moonlight shining in through the crack in the blinds. You let your eyes wander as he reached for the mouse and delicately scrolled…

You cursed yourself for letting your mind drift, plagued by your newfound information about Chris’ sex life, only to get cut off once again by Chris fiddling with the buckles on his bag.

He’s your co-worker

“I’m ready if you are” You look up and he was returning the gaze towards you cheerfully and you instantly noticed the absence of his glasses. Your heart throbbed as your colleague had suddenly become 10x more attractive and a deep pit formed in your stomach, wondering how you are meant to survive a car journey with him while he looked like that.

On the drive home, you found yourself basically gripping the car door, begging for oxygen. Chris had once again removed his suit jacket and had leant over to throw it onto the backseat. You found yourself rushing to look away before he turned back in case you couldn’t control yourself and kissed him there and then. To make matters worse, he had proceeded to roll up his shirt sleeves, accentuating his thick forearms that made you almost break a sweat. He had one hand carefully gripping the wheel and the other placed gently on the gear stick. You watched intently through your peripherals, the way Chris’ arm flexed every time he changed gear or turned the wheel using the palm of his hand – you had learnt something new about yourself that day and as much as you wanted to be mad, you were enjoying it just a little bit too much.

Once you arrived home, you fought yourself on asking him inside.

He’s you co-worker you repeatedly reminded yourself, before thanking him and getting out of the car. You took your time however, hoping for a sign that he might want this too, only, it never came.

You went to home that night, your chest heavy with guilt and regret.

Chris knew exactly what he was doing. He felt disgusting and he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself.

Chris had known he wanted you since the day he first lied eyes on you, and it only grew by the day. Watching you around the office pained him. You were so kind-hearted and caring to everyone there, he couldn’t help but want it all to himself.

He wanted you to himself.

He often found himself pretending to not understand something just so you could stare into his eyes while you slowly explained it to him, just so he could get a brief glance down your shirt and at your cleavage as you bent over his desk, just so he could see your skirt slightly lift as you leant over, and just so he could watch you walk away.

He found his slacks tighten every time you switched persona and dominated the office, assigning roles and complaining when work wasn’t up to standard. It was a shame though, he thought, that he was the only person you never seemed to be mean to.

This is my punishment he had decided. His fantasies were disgusting, and the universe was taking it out on him for being a pervert.

He had to take his jacket off as soon as he got into the car. Chris had caught himself looking as you lifted your bare leg to fold over the other, skirt lifting and briefly showing your underwear (which Chris had accidently noted matched your bra that day). He felt his chest tighten and his cheeks grew warm. He felt suffocated, needing to calm and cool himself before you noticed something was wrong. Chris had worked so hard to keep up his sweet persona, hiding how truly disgusting he was from you, and he was not about to let it slip now.

He didn’t know what had come over him 10 minutes prior asking to give you a lift – a sudden wave of confidence. Never before had Chris had the courage to ask you out, not that this was a date, but it counted for something. Maybe it was because you had joined him earlier in the week for the coffee run and he had deluded himself into thinking you wanted him too. Maybe it was because he had noticed you strangely drifting away recently and needed to win you back. Maybe he finally was finally going to make a move…

“You’ve been avoiding me this week” Chris shocked himself when he noticed he was the one who had just spoken.

You shifted anxiously in your seat, “I’ve just gotten myself tired… too much work I guess”.

You looked over to Chris, sending him a smile, hoping that he believed you.

He didn’t.

But the way you looked at him caused him to forget to care.

15 minutes later, he pulled up outside your house after what felt like the shortest car journey of his life. The rain pattered on the windshield as you gathered your belongings and Chris racked his brain for any excuse to come in or to not let you leave the car.

He couldn’t find one.

You bid him goodbye and wished him a safe journey home before running inside to escape the rain. You threw your bags onto the floor as you entered your house, sighing, kicking off your shoes and falling back against the door. You rubbed your face, wondering how much longer you had to suffer like this and what you had to do to get over him.

Your thoughts, however, didn’t last for long as they were cut off by the panic caused by the feel of your coat pocket feeling strangely empty, where your phone once was. You ran over to your bags, rummaging through and finding nothing.

Shit

You knew exactly where it was.

Of course it is

Chris’ car. It must have fallen out. You wanted to scream at the universe for this. No matter what, everything just circled back to him. You were not getting over him anytime soon…

You picked yourself up off the floor and rushed towards your door. He might still be outside you had convinced yourself – you prayed. You were prepared to run out into the rain bare footed, only to be stopped by a figure as you pulled open your front door.

“You, um, left this in my car” He spoke, so quiet it was almost a whisper.

You didn’t realise how badly you needed to see him in that moment. He was like a drug, and you were having withdrawals. Nobody had ever made you feel like this, and it scared you. Your fingers brushed as you took the phone from him, not breaking eye contact once and you were convinced you saw a darkness flash over his eyes. Did he want you too? Did he feel the same? Your brief touch left you needing more, feeling empty without him and all you could think about in that moment was having his soft skin back on yours again.

Your hands had a mind of their own; you felt them reach towards Chris, dropping the phone that brought you two together onto the floor, and pulling him towards you. It didn’t take much, he was already moving you backwards, his hands on your waist and yours on his tie.

You felt him push against you hungrily while a hand snapped round the back of your head to protect it from the wall behind you. His other hand remained on your waist, caging you in and unknowingly keeping you up when you felt like your knees were about to give way.

His kiss was passionate and soft, but you could tell he wasn’t holding back. There was determination in his actions, and you let him. You swallowed your pride and any nagging thoughts in the back of your mind and just let him have you. You just wanted to enjoy the moment you had waited years for.

Only it didn’t last long.

It was over just as quickly as it started.

You felt Chris pull away, running his hand through his hair, aggravated, and muttering a shitty excuse about being sorry or how he shouldn’t have done it. You watched as he backed out of the door you two had conveniently left open and the deafening silence pulled you back to reality; you were abandoned against the wall, frozen in place.

You spent that weekend rearranging your house, putting any furniture you could against the empty wall in hopes to disguise it. Every time you looked over, you couldn’t help but relive your moment together, making you feel nauseous and yet, no matter what, you just couldn’t look way. You eventually decided on a pot plant, one you had found at a market you had dragged yourself to as a distraction. (It hadn’t worked)

The metaphor was ironic – something was growing and it wasn’t your love. You dreaded going back to work. You were used to the tension between you two over the past week but god, this was too much. Maybe you could hand in your two weeks’ notice? Do you think they’d accept two days? You wrote it up and printed it off nonetheless.

Maybe it’s for the best you considered. This could be your way out. He tried it with you, he made it blatantly clear he didn’t want it and you certainly couldn’t face him again after that. If you quit and got a new job elsewhere, maybe you might have a chance of getting over him.

You can’t run away from your problems! You ignored that thought. You weren’t really in the mood for thinking logically today.

You had shown up late to work Monday morning. At least you were there though, it was more than what you expected of yourself. Thankfully no one had picked up on the distance between you and Chris – metaphorically and physically. You were convinced he’d furthered himself from you…

You spat out some lie of coming down with a cold to anyone who questioned your tardiness and to your surprise everyone bought it. Well, so you thought.

“Hey, can I speak to you when you get chance?” you had called out to your boss as she rushed past your desk, mid task.

“If this is about you quitting, then the answer is no” she pinched the bridge of her nose and stopped in her tracks. You two had a great relationship and were extremely close, considering that she was your boss. Your friendship allowed you two to be completely honest and tell each other things exactly how they were; you only realised this was a curse in disguise as she saw straight through you.

“W-what?”

“You left your notice on your desk,” she sighed, and you whipped your head round to your desk, panicked. To your surprise, there sat Chris, adamantly watching the conversation unfold, a sad look glazed over his eyes.

You reminded yourself to laugh about that later.

“If you’re going to quit, can you at least wait and do it at a time when we’re not so busy?” She turned back to her assistant and proceeded to continue their prior conversation, walking off and leaving you frozen in your tracks. You tried calling after her, but you knew that was as far as you were going to get with her. Defeated, you made your way back over to your desk where Chris had decided to finally look away.

If the tension between you two wasn’t obvious to everyone in the office, it sure was now.

He wasn’t sure how he had ended up in this situation again. It was Monday evening, and everyone had left – except him and you. Every time Chris was left alone with you, he struggled to contain himself. The weight on his chest was a constant reminder of how badly he had fucked up at the weekend by letting his impulses take over and as a result, ruined one of the only good things in his life.

“You’re quitting because of me?” Jesus Christ, he needed to learn to stop talking whenever there was an awkward silence. You looked up from your paperwork and glared at him.

What a dick!

“Not everything is about you Chris”.

“You’ve been quiet all day…” he pushed.

“I’m just tired that’s all”.

“You’ve used that excuse before” he smirked at you from across the table.

“Why don’t you just mind your own fucking business?” You stood up, slamming your hands on the table in front of you and hovered over Chris. Silence echoed throughout the room, and you instantly felt a deep pit growing in your stomach.

“Shit! I’m sorry,” you rushed out, looking away. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that”. You were completely oblivious however, to Chris tucking his chair in as close as possible or finding anything he could to cover his crotch after your sudden outburst. Was it wrong for him to want to keep going, to keep pushing you? He knew you felt guilty for your actions, but he saw red and from then on, could only think with his dick...

The guilt, however, overcame you. You knew Chris didn’t deserve for you to shout at him like that and that you were taking your own emotions out on him. He was only teasing you, probably trying to lighten the mood and rid of the heavy tension lingering between you two and you went and ruined it – again!

You couldn’t take it anymore. You reached down to pick up your bag from underneath your desk and began packing away any files you may need.

I’ll finish it at home you thought to yourself. You couldn’t stand to be around Chris anymore and needed to get out before you did anything else you regretted. That was until your thoughts were cut off by the feeling of being harshly spun around until you felt the backs of your thighs hit your desk. You were faced with the man you were trying so hard to avoid, caging you in and giving you a sense of déjà vu to the Friday evening you had spent together three days prior.

“What are you doing?” your voice small.

He had bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t know” he croaked out. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was fighting with himself, and it pained you to go through this for a second time.

“You don’t want this” you let out in a whisper. His eyes suddenly snapped open, and his head whipped up.

“W-what? No, of course I want this”. He had shrunk his head down to your level and looked you straight in the eye.

He was genuine.

“Why did you run away last time then?”

“I was scared. I thought you didn’t want this”. He broke eye contact and backed away again.

You couldn’t help but smile, “I want this”.

“I want this too” He leant back onto the desk behind you and hesitantly left a peck on the corner of your mouth, feeling him smile against you. His body swallowed yours and you wanted to stay in his warmth forever.

That was until you felt it against your thigh.

You looked down and Chris felt your body shake against him as you giggled; his face flushed when he realised what was going on. He’d gotten distracted from his problem during your sudden confession that he forgot the reason he stopped you from leaving in the first place.

He leant behind you and swiped everything off your desk (a bold move for him), barely giving you chance to argue before pulling you towards him by the waist, spinning you around and pushing you forward, leaving you to catch and hold yourself up on the desk, now in front of you. Your button up shirt hung lose, exposing your shoulder, allowing Chris to pull it down where he began to leave a trail of kisses down your back as he lightly dragged his index finger up your thigh, underneath your mini skirt. You could image him smirking as you let out a gasp and arched your back slightly at his cold touch. “Do you do this to all your girls?” you snarked, breathlessly.

His touched stopped at your sudden comment and Chris spun you back round to face him, picking you up and placing you onto the table.

“What girls?” He asked, a look of confusion spread across his face.

“I don’t know, I just thought… you know,” you hesitated “I saw your wallet.”

“Oh”

You stared at him blankly as he worked up the courage to explain himself. “My friends put it in there as a joke on a night out,” He squinted at you, as if he was scared to see your reaction. “Something about hyping myself up to actually get laid” His voice faded out towards the end of his sentence.

You grabbed his tie, slowly bringing him closer to you. “Have you ever...?”

“Just once” He blushed.

You giggled into his mouth as you pulled him into a kiss. “Cute”

For someone with such little experience, Chris sure knew his way around your mouth. Your little pecks quickly turned into a heated make out where his hands began roaming your body, eventually finding your shirt buttons, and beginning to undo them. His lips followed, making their way down your neck and eventually to your chest. His hands found their way to your breasts, cupping them and causing you to question whether he really was as unexperienced as he said he was…

You watched as Chris’ eye line changed to your cleavage and you couldn’t help but adore how innocent he was, getting distracted so easily, which corrected your previous train of thought. You brought him back to reality by directing his lips back to your chest and you felt a pair of large hands grip your thighs, pulling you forward and causing you to fall backwards as Chris continued his way down your stomach.

The remains of his kisses sent chills throughout your body as they went cold, causing you to seek warmth in Chris, edging closer towards him and placing your legs over his shoulders as his warm breath heated your core. You choked out a gasp as his nose brushed against your clit and he laid soft kisses against the top of your underwear in an attempt to tease you.

‘Your wet…’ he spoke, almost surprised.

‘It’s all you’.

You felt Chris suck in a breath and pause beneath you, you could sense his nerves from above. You grabbed him by his curls, pulling his head up and forcing him to make eye contact with you. You begged him with your eyes before forcing his head back down, granting him permission.

You felt him leave a soft lick down your centre and waited for your protests. He was met with comfortable silence allowing him to repeat the motion, eventually picking up the pace and soon leaving longer strips that caused you to thrust your hips forward, pushing you even closer to him. You felt as he peeled your underwear off of you, letting it dangle around your ankle, and his tongue gently slipped between your folds, licking a few strips before finding your hole and began tongue fucking you. His free hand had moved down to your hip where his thumb reaching down to toy with your clit. Your hands were still in his hair, and you couldn’t help but pull at it, reassuring and guiding him as he began to go down on you. He peeled his last hand away from your waist and was brought it up to your core, feeling your slit before he slowly entered a finger. Your deep groan cause Chris to twitch in his jeans, encouraging him to push it in deeper before pulling out and entering a second. You felt his lips kiss at your nub where he started to lick and kiss. Chris vibrated against you as he let out moans, almost sending you into overdrive and you couldn’t help but grind against him; his thrusts speeding up to match you.

“Cameras” you had managed to make out in between moans as you felt yourself grow closer to finishing, shooting up and disappointingly pushing Chris away. You had suddenly been brought back to reality by your moans echoing in the empty room and you realised where you were. There was a very high chance that you two were going to get caught and as much as you loved this new side of Chris, you knew that even he wasn’t kinky enough to properly do you up against your desk in his place of work. Yes, you had tried to resign from your job only 5 hours prior but now everything seemed to be sorting itself out and you didn’t really want to lose your job this way.

Chris pulled away from you, horror spread across your face and you internally panicked, wondering if you had ruined your one and only chance of being with him like this… He trailed his hands up your hips before picking you up and helping you off of your desk. You both giggled as you wiped his mouth for him and he gave you a reassuring peck on the cheek, as if he could read your mind, before grabbing both your bags and quickly leading you out of the office by the hand.

The silence left Chris in his own thoughts, replaying the events of the last 5 minutes on repeat in his head. You were currently stood side by side with him in the elevator, the slight touch of your arms driving him crazy, and he used everything within him to hold himself back from finishing what he had just begun. He knew that if anyone saw anything, then both your careers would be ruined, but the memory of how you sounded and tasted underneath him was fogging his brain and he found himself struggling to stay focused.

He felt your hand reach into his trouser pocket, placing something inside. It didn’t take Chris long to realise it was your underwear and in return, you felt his hand begin to trail up the inside of your thigh. You bit back a gasp, knowing exactly where this was going and what Chris was trying to do. You felt his fingers play with the hem of your skirt and back to the inside of your leg. You tilted your head slightly to find Chris facing forward, straight faced, as if he wasn’t the one currently with his hands up your skirt. You took note on how he had angled your belongings to cover his actions from the camera in the corner of the elevator and remembered to reward him for it later.

The lift opened after what felt like forever and Chris led you out towards the car park, his hand on the small of your back and further positioning himself behind you as it gradually got lower. He didn’t know what had gotten into him but no matter what, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. You were a magnet and the connection between you two was so strong, he couldn’t leave you alone. Once you eventually reached his car, he held open the passenger door for you, reminding you how easily he could switch personas and you struggled to believe this was the same man who was between your legs, ready to devour you, just moments prior. Chris threw your belongings onto the backseats in a hurry before rushing into the driver’s seat, removing his jacket, and pushing his sleeves up. He suddenly seemed anxiously frantic, and you would find him adorable if you weren’t pent up.

You gave him little to no time before you were reaching over to him, grabbing his hand, and pulling it underneath your skirt. Your eyes rolled back, your head hitting the seat behind you at the relief the slight touch gave you, “Just do something Chris!”

The way you spoke his name was like his own personal porn, and the sight of you being so needy for him and him only made him weak in the knees, willing to do anything you asked of him. You felt the way he froze in place, shocked by how direct you were; his fingers moving only slightly, hesitant to touch you. You sighed and leant over, grabbing him by the chin and smashing your lips into his to close the gap between you.

You pulled away, “You just had me over a desk and edged me in an elevator, and now you’re too shy to actually touch me?” you giggled against his lips. Obviously, you were exaggerating, but you knew Chris had put on a façade and it was beginning to crack.

‘I don’t want it to be here’.

‘I don’t think I can wait any longer’, you whispered in his ear before beginning to kiss down his neck, sucking slightly and leaving a trail of marks. You were proud of yourself, excited about your female coworkers seeing the mess you made tomorrow and finally being able to claim Chris as yours.

Too in the moment, you failed to notice a hand wrapping around your legs and pulling you into Chris’ lap. Your lack of underwear caused you to gasp as you moved against the bulge in your colleagues’ slacks, also receiving a deep groan from Chris that could’ve made you come undone then and there.

The sound was music to your ears, causing you to repeat the motion and begin grinding on his clothed cock. Chris threw his head back as he let out a string of moans and you proceeding marking him, down his Adams apple to his chest. His hands found your shirt, still partially unbuttoned and loose around you, and reached underneath, pulling your breasts from your bra and toying with them. Eventually, he frantically reached underneath you and pulled down his trousers. Your actions continued but the only fabric separating you now was the thin layer of his boxers. You could feel him. The outline, shape, width… You felt dizzy and didn’t know how much more of you two teasing each other you could take.

‘I need you’ You croaked out. ‘Now!’

He nodded aggressively at you, unable to formulate any words as he reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. You couldn’t help but share a giggle as he took out the item that got you into this mess in the first place.

You struggled to stop yourself from staring as he rolled the condom onto himself and didn’t fail to notice the slight smirk on Chris’ face. You had felt he was big, but you hadn’t expected this and your mind ran with ideas of what you wanted to do to him. You’d have to save that for next time however, because you felt yourself throb at the sight and you needed him inside you ASAP.

You rested your hands on his shoulders, pulling yourself up off Chris’ lap and positioning yourself.

‘Are you sure you’re ok with this’ Chris had asked, nerves lacing his voice, worried you would change your mind last minute. Internally you groaned; you were hovering over his cock, tits and pussy out, practically begging him to take him and he was still worried.

‘Yes yes yes,’ you managed to mumbled out, struggling to speak as you threw your head back at the friction from brushing against his tip. You appreciated him asking for consent and found his nerves adorable, but you were too inpatient to care anymore. ‘Just please… do something’

Your statement lit a flame in Chris, causing him to pull you down and push himself up, meeting you halfway and thrusting into you. The sting hurt so good, and you fell forward, leaning your forehead against his as you tried to adjust to his size.

‘Halfway there’ Chris groaned against your lips, kissing down your jaw as he waited for you to move again.

Picking yourself back up, your hands fell to Chris’ chest as you sank further down. He swallowed a moan as he watched you take all of him where you waited a few moments before moving, rocking against him. You rushed to remove the hand that Chris used to cover his mouth in attempt to muffle his moans, replacing it with your mouth. The kisses were sloppy, your tongues fighting one another but it didn’t matter to you, you just needed him closer to you in any way you could. You picked up the pace, starting to move up and down, and his naïve moans turning you on even more than any of your partners before. His pelvic bone brushed against your clit, causing you to whimper as he matched your actions, thrusting upwards and bouncing you on his cock. Chris reached out to hold your breasts still hanging loosely out of your clothing, not knowing what to do with himself and still aware of his lack of knowledge surrounding the act.

His lips left yours and instead, sucked onto your skin, returning the favour and leaving marks down your chest. You found your hands returning to his hair and you couldn’t help but play with the soft curls hanging down the back of his neck, tugging on them in surprise when Chris’ teeth grazed your nipple. He let his tongue swirl around your areola a few times to tease you before sucking on your nipple and squeezing your other with his free hand. He made sure to swap over, taking even turns on both your tits and you fell back, hands resting behind you on his knees as you grinded forward.

‘I don’t think I can…last…much longer’ Chris coughed out. You watched as mixed emotions flashed across his face, but you had known him long enough to be able to read him like a book. Due to his lack of experience, Chris was annoyed he couldn’t last longer for you, keep you in this moment for longer, see you like this for longer. You felt a grin spread across your face, once again adoring how cute you found him.

‘That’s ok,’ you reassured. ‘Doing so well for me anyway’.

Your hair tickled your back as you tipped your head back in pleasure as he thrusted harder at your praise, and you both began to pick up the pace. Beads of sweat rolled down Chris’ scrunched up face and you had never found him sexier before; the urge to corrupt him only growing stronger.

The sound of your skin slapping together rang in your ears as it echoed throughout the now fogged up car. You were thankful for the empty car park as you were sure the car rocking would give you two away to any passerby. You reached out to hold onto anything around you as you felt yourself growing closer, your hand smearing the condensation against the glass window.

‘I think I’m going to…’ Chris whined out, his head dropping to your shoulder and his large hands returned to your waist.

‘Me too baby’ giving him permission, you cut him off and grabbed onto the headrest behind him as you felt him harshly thrust into you a few more times before tensing up and letting out a loud, deep moan as he climaxed, one causing you to do the same. You continued to ride him through your orgasms before collapsing into his arms, too tired to move.

You pulled him into your apartment, his lips attempting to find yours in the dark as you stumbled around trying to remove each other’s clothes.

‘What the fuck is that?’ Chris had pulled away and you couldn’t help but giggle when you saw his silhouette fighting your new plant. ‘It’s in my spot!’

‘I had to cover it up after our previous rendezvous’ you muttered, guiding him back to your lips in hopes of changing the subject.

You felt Chris frown against you. ‘I’ll be moving that in the morning,’ he spoke in between kisses. ‘I liked having you against that wall’.

‘Oh… Staying the night, are you?

‘I am’ he gave you one last peck on the lips before picking you up bridal style and carrying you towards your room for round 2…

a/n if y’all read this far… i hope you enjoyed :)) Ellie-mai… this is for you pookie bear <3

🤍 please consider reposting or commenting if you like my work!!!

#smut #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #skz #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bangchan smut #bang chan imagines

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ghouljams · 2 months

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hi!! helloo!!! you're writing is simply AMAZING and i LOVE the way you headcannon the guys!!!

i just had a quick coupla thots and i wanted to share them so i hope this makes sense!!

the first thing i thought of when reading "a letter from your future husband" was johnnys reaction to a return letter

maybe it's too much wine and dancing after a party, maybe it's just too stiflingly hot watching other people in the castle, maybe it's a particularly scandalous letter and reader is just feeling impulsive, but when johnny gets his hands on that letter? by GOD he's drooling and tenting his pants and booking it to his chambers because he won't let anyone else in the castle look at your handwriting before he gets the chance to

when johnny finally sees your handwriting? he's hooked. when he actually READS it? he's FERAL. one of the first lines is something like "I am very thankful for the instructions in your letters, without them, I would have never known personal pleasure before we are officially wed" he nearly cums in his pants but is also SO UPSET that he didn't get to see your corruption in real time- he'd foam at the mouth the first time he sets his eyes on you

you can barely make out the writing in the letter he sends back, because he starts writing it the second he cums all over his hands after reading your letter to him

(ps- have a good day!!)

Soap getting a letter in return?? Oh my.... Well he'd certainly have trouble controlling himself with it.

It's truly unfortunate that he had to rush back home to Scotland without you, his poor bride sitting, wasting away without him in (ugh) England, but certain matters had arisen that needed his attention, his in-person attention. Nothing that would prevent him from writing you though. He's tugging his riding gloves off when the butler hands him a letter with your pretty red seal. Soap takes in a sharp breath through his nose. You only write him when you are truly mad, sending him the sorts of letters that make him sure it isn't anger that guides your hand. The sort of letters he'll punish you for when he sees you next.

He takes it to his room. Cracking the wax seal and palming himself through his trousers at the first glimpse of your neat loops. He hums to himself, bringing the letter to his nose, smelling your soft perfume with a smile. Christ he misses you, sweet thing that you are trying to scare him off. He knows you want nothing more than to melt for him.

"You are a wicked and horrible man," You tell him in your opening line and Soap thinks about digging his teeth into your neck, marking you where someone proper might see, "Never in my life has a man talked to me like you do. I don't even know if I can call you a man, an animal is more appropriate. You do nothing but attempt to lead me to ruin. God only knows the thoughts that you inspire in me, and he will surely condemn me for them.

'Don't call me 'wife' as if that absolves you of the sin you send me. Though I suppose I should thank you for one thing; now that I know I can pleasure myself I have no need for you. You're free to move on to your next plaything and have fun tormenting her. I will welcome the reprieve from your letters."

Soap smiles to himself, he can almost hear your pouting. As if he'd ever want anyone else. Poor thing, who told you you weren't enough for him? It certainly wasn't Soap. It's good knowing you're touching yourself to his letters. He pauses, smells the letter again, imagines he can smell the wetness on your fingers when you wrote it. Naughty thing, did you roll off the bed just to talk to him?

"How would you like receiving obscene letters? No love in them, no politeness or care. You hardly treat me like a woman set to be your wife. If you can't say you love me, why should I do the same? You only want to talk about sex, fine.

'It is unbearable to have you in my thoughts. I never know if I'm upset or pleased, but my skin grows hot and my shift sticks to me. I can't think of anything but your awful letters and your stupid smile and every other terrible part of you. I lay awake at night with my hand between my legs because you have encouraged, no, insisted on such debauchery. I am utterly ruined because of you and I know it must only bring you pleasure to hear that. So stroke your cock to whatever you like, only think of me while you do it.

Imagine me like I imagine you, think of my fingers and my mouth and [scribbled out] Why do your letters make me feel like this, why do they make my heart pound? What power do you have that makes me keep them? Why do I miss you when I despise you so? Why did you have to leave me, I'm sor

I wish I wasn't thinking of you."

Oh, his sweet lass. He kisses your signature, pulls his aching cock free of his pants and groans. He shouldn't have been so cruel to you, poor thing. Of course you're upset, he left you all alone and is teasing you so terribly. Fuck he loves how passionate you are, how your handwriting grows sloppy before you cross it out; loves the slight discoloration to the paper beside the edge of your text where the paper dried.

You are the object of all his desires and yet you write to him like he could have anyone else. He could. He wants you. Wants you in every way he can have you.

Soap strokes his cock and reaches for a pen.

"You think I don't imagine you in every way I could? Your fingers wrapped around my cock, your lips against my throat, your voice in my ear? Do I need to show you for you to believe me?"

He already knows. The next time he sees you, he'll take your hand and place it right where it should be.

"It's just you my bonnie wife, it's only ever been you."

#cod x reader #x reader #x oc #cod x oc #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish smut #soap mactavish x reader #soap call of duty #soap x reader #soap mw2 #soap cod #regency au #courting letters #sort of

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microwave-core · 1 year

Text

A Handful of Headcanons

These are, uh, kinda unhinged.

I love Nemona with my whole heart and soul, but I almost always write her (and you, dear reader) as being insanely oblivious because I just can't help myself. Every time I saw her in my Scarlet playthrough all I could think was “You wanna kiss me so bad you look stupid” because that is exactly what she’s like.

Her friends have been telling her for the past Arceus knows how long about her crush, but she never understood where they were coming from. Her obliviousness is completely impenetrable, it’s insane. They’re all pulling their hair out by her inability to recognize her own damn feelings.

Like, it’s to the point that her friends think she’s worried about people’s reaction to her being gay. Penny will casually tell Nemona that everyone was fine with her being gay or bi or whatever but Nemona’s just genuinely a dumbass when it comes to romantic feelings.

(It’s funny, really, because anyone that would have a problem with her sexuality would never voice it lest they get their ass kicked but I digress.)

But when she realizes it? It’s fucking over. Her entire perspective has changed and she is now a new person. She now spends her nights staring at the ceiling plagued by thoughts of you. She could never fall asleep when thinking about holding your soft hand, or playing with your hair, or feeling your lips against her own. Occasionally, her thoughts become unsavory, and it never fails to make her feel like a complete creep because she shouldn’t be thinking of you like that.

When around you, she manages to act pretty normal. She’s too distracted by you to be overthinking her own feelings. The most she’ll do is just… look at you, but kinda intensely.

She’s just in so much awe at your existence, how you could look so beautiful, so elegant, just sitting there. Your every action sets her heart ablaze. Please give her affection, she deserves it even if she can be inexplicably stupid at times.

Cynthia would be such a wife-guy, it’s unreal. I have given this much thought. Sometimes I think about those alignment chart memes and everytime I do I think about the champions in regards to how they would treat their partner and, without fail, Cynthia and Leon fall into the wife-guy section and I will not elaborate further (that is a lie I will elaborate if asked).

People across the world look up to Cynthia as a pillar of strength, as a serious badass who could curb stomp you with a single look. These people have no idea how much of a nerd she is, but they sure as hell know how much she loves her wife.

Every interview she’s ever in, she will bring you up. No matter how much you might beg or plead her to, to avoid the embarrassment of her unabashed declarations of love, she will not stop. She cannot stop herself even if she wanted to.

She is the definition of relationship goals. All of her interviews have comments like “get you a girl who will talk about you like how Champion Cynthia talks about her wife” under them.

And she absolutely adores your embarrassed reaction to them, too. You just look so adorable when you’re flustered. Don’t worry, she won’t tease you that much, that’s not really her style. She’ll always make it up with hugs and kisses and chocolate and anything else your heart may desire. She loves you more than anything else, after all.

Geeta is lowkey a sugar mommy, no matter what. Certified Girlboss™ over here is so busy, which she’s not inherently against as a workaholic, but it does prevent her from seeing you.

And so whenever she does get time for you, she will spoil you. Gift giving is her way of showing affection, at least when it comes to you. She’s practically made of money, please spend as much as you want. It’s her treat and you deserve it. Don’t even think about pulling out your purse or wallet, she will not let you pay.

During quiet moments in her day, she’ll pull up a store on her phone and scroll until she finds something you’d like. She’ll be scrolling through fancy-smancy stores during an important meeting or when talking to someone like Nemona or Clavell because she just thought of the most darling thing to get you and she needs to find something suitable this instant. And she’s not slacking off or not paying attention, either, she knows exactly what is being said around her.

She’s also shameless. On more than one occasion, someone’s seen her looking for fancy, incredibly expensive lingerie. They’re incredibly embarrassed about it, but Geeta doesn’t care. She is in no way flustered or worried, just amused by their reaction.

If you don’t live together, she’ll totally send packages to your house or apartment. She’ll usually tell you, but sometimes she just doesn’t and suddenly you're opening your door in the morning only to be greeted by several packages.

Not so much of a headcanon as much as it is a concept, but Courtney and Shelly pining for the same person. That’s it, that is the thought,

These two are their own brands of unhinged, and they would absolutely rip the other to shreds if it meant winning your heart. Courtney is just batshit insane. She’s feral. She’s completely unhinged and would go to any lengths necessary to get you by her side, no matter how much she has to dirty her hands to do so.

Shelly is also unhinged, but she’s far more calculated. She’s part of the brains behind Team Aqua, and so she’s not going to take action without considering all her possibilities first. She’ll go to the same lengths Courntey will go to, but she'll consider all her actions before making a commitment.

There is very little you can even do in this scenario. They would choke each other out with their bare hands if it meant having you. Don’t think this can end in dating both, they would never tolerate the other. They’re just going to continuously fight each other, try to one up each other, until one of them snaps.

Drasna is severely slept on. I don’t even have a grand vision to put here. There is no idea, there is no headcanon, and there is no scenario. All you get is the concept of Drasna.

Just like… look at her. She borders on milf and gilf, she is decorated in dragon bones, she is sweet and kind and could kick your ass. She is gentle and loving but changes into cold and savage when in the midst of battle.

She could curb stomp your ass any day of the week, and you (by which I mean me) would thank her. Not that she ever would. She cares about you too much! If you did battle her, she would attempt to go a bit easier on you, toning down the intensity a bit, but it slips out every now and then.

Also, do you think she’d have fangs? That’s how all the dragon tamers are in my head, so it’s not really Drasna specific. Actually, don’t answer that, she totally does because it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules.

Anyways, Drasna would totally live in a cute little cottage. She’s from Celestic Town (apparently), so she likely prefers a quieter, humbler lifestyle. That is to say, you get to live with her in a cute little house that’s surrounded by nature and is also covered in dragons. You get to unwind at the end of the day by sitting in your cute little garden with her, and isn’t that just the dream?

…. How do we feel about gilfs? Like, in general. Milfs are pretty unanimous, I think. We all love a hot mom, but what about hot grandmas? I say that like the Pokemon grandmas are hot which I don’t think they are (except Cogita, obviously) but like… is there a consensus on this?

I don’t know man, when I look at Agatha and Bertha and Opal it’s just like… that’s a grandma. She’d bake you cookies and ask you about school or work. Agatha has an implicit risk, as you will be jumpscared by her ghosts. She’s also a little bitter and would totally just bitch about the people that get on her nerves. She’s old, she doesn’t care about anything anymore.

Bertha is the kind grandma who always asks if you want to help her make the cookies (she will not be offended if you decline). She’ll ask how your life is and will give you so much useful advice. She’ll also tell stories from her youth, and she looks so happy when she does it. She’s just nice, that's all I have to say.

Opal. Oh Opal. This specimen already has the cookies baked when you show up at her door unannounced. She knew you would be coming. Come sit down and complain about your life. She wants all of the gossip. Tell her everything, especially about your love life. Be careful about what you tell her, though, because she will not hold back when giving you her opinion.

Sorry I couldn't help myself. I had to write this out. I’ll go back to the regular headcanons.

Regular is a strong word. I desire Sada carnally. She is broken and I can fix her, okay? I have thought about this a lot, and I would subject you to all of those thoughts in incredible detail if I was strong enough to truly capture her image.

Real talk though. Sada is hesitant to fall in love again. She’s gone through a messy divorce before, and doesn't want to go through that kind of thing ever again. But she couldn’t help but fall in love with you, which leads to one of two things happening.

There’s the realistic option, that her love for you will make her work even harder towards finding paradise, which basically just leads to how the game plays out. She spends more and more time in the crater until she decides to move into it and eventually gets got by Koraidon, but you don’t know that. It would suck, but you would not be totally alone as you would have Arven there, going through the same thing. At the very least, he’ll turn out slightly better (until he has to tell you that Sada’s been dead for Arceus knows how long).

But that’s sad, so I present to you the ideal option, that her love for you makes her realize how damaging her workaholic nature has been. She’ll be able to take a step back from her work, from the time machine and Area Zero, and just be able to live in the moment with you and Arven, like a normal family. She starts working as a regular professor. Hell, she might even start teaching at Naranja, where she’ll get to tease Arven everyday.

Anyways, regardless of what happens you get to be Arven’s stepmom, and that makes it worth it because he deserves a good parental figure in his life. I love him, he is my son, and he deserves the world.

Speaking of milfs: Lusamine. Hear me out. Technically, there are three types of Lusamine. There’s Sun and Moon Lusamine who is completely unhinged and selfish and will stop at nothing to get her way. There’s Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon Lusamine who is also slightly less unhinged and will stop at nothing to get her way, but she’s doing it for a greater cause (although it’s still kinda selfish but sometimes it’s the thought that counts). Then there's the anime Lusamine, who is actually pretty normal. Not unhinged or feral or incredibly selfish, just a mother trying her best for her two kids.

All three of them are near and dear to my heart, but, to me, Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon Lusamine reigns supreme. She’s the best of the other two, where she’s both unhinged and trying to be a good mom (after the Ultra Necrozma business goes down, anyways).

When she becomes more adjusted, not worrying about saving Alola from an unworldly entity, she’s incredibly supportive, both to you and to her kids. Speaking of kids, if you don’t support Lillie and Gladion with your whole heart, she will cut you off. Her family is important to her, especially after losing Mohn.

Writing this, I realize that I might just be invested in giving these kids better lives, but whatever. Lillie will open up to you pretty quickly. She wants to do all kinds of mother-daughter activities. Please just spend time with her, she will love you forever. Gladion takes a bit longer, but he’ll cave to your kindness in time. He won’t admit it, though, he has an edgy persona to upkeep.

Or maybe you're into an evil bitch and you want selfish and crazy Lusamine, which is also understandable. She’ll do anything for you, and I mean anything. She would be pretty controlling though, and she might love the Ultra Beasts more than you, but that’s the price you’ve gotta pay if you want her unhinged.

Oh and also, please don’t look into Ultra Wormholes or Ultra Beasts. No matter what version of Lusamine you’re into, just don’t. Lusamine would never recover if you disappeared like Mohn did.

I’ll end this with Marnie, because I like her. She’s kinda quiet and maybe even a little shy, but she’s adorable and loves you with her whole heart and soul. Her quiet nature, though, is lost when you start doing… basically anything. Whether you’re battling or studying, she’ll be your number one cheerleader.

When you’re battling other people, she’ll be hyping up your every move. You're her girlfriend, you're obviously up to snuff, and she’ll remind you of that fact constantly. She’ll even bring in Team Yell to help out. She wants the entirety of Galar to know how strong you are.

But she’ll cheer you on quietly, too. When she senses you're overworked or stressed, she’ll be bringing you blankets and hot tea before you can even complain about your problems. And when you’re settled in, she’ll bring you curry and huddle into your side. She’ll even get Morpeko to cuddle up to you. Feel special, Morpeko won’t even do that to Marnie, and she would complain if it wasn’t making you feel better.

If you’re battling against her, she won’t openly cheer you on like normal. She’s a gym leader, she can’t just go throwing a match because she loves you! But she’ll compliment your strategy when you're doing well. Team Yell won’t be cheering for you, though.

Also, Piers would be totally chill with you. He couldn’t be intimidating even if he tried, he is a literal twig. He just wants his sister to be happy and safe, and mans knows you would never do anything to hurt her. Besides, someone has to tell you Marnie’s embarrassing childhood stories and baby photos.

#pokemon x reader #fem reader #There are several male characters that I have general ideas about despite not being into them due to the whole being gay thing #But sometimes I just receive holy visions about them #IDK maybe I’ll make general headcanons sometime #Or make that alignment chart that haunts me #nemona x reader #cynthia x reader #geeta x reader #courtney x reader #shelly x reader #drasna x reader #professor sada x reader #lusamine x reader #marnie x reader #god thats a lotta tags #im sorrry i think

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21aurora · 6 months

Text

Unbreakable promises | Levi Ackerman

Notes : Levi x Baker!f reader, soft Levi , Season 4 , after the war , fluff

Summary : Levi returns to you after the war

I was sitting in my bakery , reading those letters that he used to send me.

Even though his letters had been interrupted for a year , I still kept every letter from him hoping that he would return as he promised me Before departing for his mission .

Months had elapsed since the end of the war, I haven't been able to gain any knowledge about him since , No matter how much I ask or how much I try to find him I don't Obtain any useful information , I have no clue except that I trust that he will stay alive , He always keeps his promises, so he can't break them this time, right?

Now, after a month or a year , The only thing I'm aware of that he always comes back to me no matter how long he is gone, he always finds his way to me .

I smell his handkerchief that he gave me before he left, his smell is still lingering in it.

It enhances my nostalgia , but it makes me come back to life for even a few seconds , since he left and I feel like I am losing myself with him, It was as if my soul had accompanied him and left me , as a helpless body just waiting for his return.

I read the first letter I received from him, It was awhile after my brother's death. he was apologizing for the death of my brother In one of the missions against the titans , who was his companion in the Survey Corps, putting the blame on himself.

I remember how much I cried at that time, cause I missed my brother so much, and yet I do not blame anyone for that . I went to him after that at the Corps headquarters with some bread and roses.

I had heard a lot about him from my brother , I know how close my brother was to him. I do not deny my admiration for him even without meeting him.

I expressed my gratitude to him for taking care of my bother all this time, I'm not blaming him for anything I understand how much my brother aspired to discover beyond the walls , I'm thankful that he's been by my brother's side for all these years.

His response that time is still etched in my mind , Despite his sharp features, I shed tears in his eyes . He remained composed and before I departed, he thanked me for my visit , and asked me to let him know if I needed anything.

After that I started frequenting his headquarters under the pretext that I was bringing them bread, I used to take advantage of every chance to see him and talk to him, even watching him from afar.

Even though he was known for being cold and strict, I felt his delicate treatment of me .

Over time , We both seemed to like each other .

He asked me to have tea with him away from headquarters , To talk about a topic related to us . His words at that time will remain unforgettable to me. He asked me to listen to him without interrupting until the end.

" I believed that I was created to be a soldier that I would dedicate my life for humanity. But despite my effort not to admit it that I could do something other than fight ,but I realized that my heart is also selfish Even if Love is not for me , I have fallen for you . I didn't know that admitting feelings is more difficult than fighting a battle but I will ask you this just once , do you accept me ? Even though my life could end at any moment ? Do you accept waiting for me , y/n ? "

His words were able to make my tears flow, tears of joy or disbelief, “yes , I accept you , Levi Ackerman.” Tears combined with a wide smile.

A smile appeared on his face, and he stood up asking for my hand, kissed it, then he hugged me picking me up from the ground.

Our relationship lasted for years. He was overprotective, very jealous, and possessive, but in an acceptable way.

In spite of the fact that he was not great at appearing his sentiments, he despised for anything awful to happen to me, and he took great care of me and made beyond any doubt that I continuously felt fulfilled.

Be that as it may, he continuously feels blameworthy towards me by not being able to spend time with me. Since of his consistent busyness, he would attempt to form up for it by sneaking out of the headquarters at night and investing the night with me. Indeed when he endured from insomnia, he cherished to rest in my lap.

months could pass without knowing anything about him.

Even though I was crying because of my longing for him, I patiently waited for him. Upon seeing him, all the sorrow I had felt vanished.

Unlike his previous goodbyes, this one was different. He gave me his handkerchief and asked that I keep it. "This time I may be absent for longer, but you assured me that you would be okay and care for yourself until we meet again."

Then he kissed me on the forehead, hugged me tightly, and promised me that he would send me letters whenever he could.

I had a Faith in his words even though I was unsure of the duration of his absence, but he has a genuine love for me and will fight to return for me .

My sorrows were interrupted by the smell of the bread that I put in the oven this morning. I put the letters on the table and went to look at the bread that was already cooked, while I was busy putting the bread out of the oven. I heard the sound of the bell that moved as the door opened. I heard someone's steps behind me, "we didn't open yet."

" y/n " I spin on my heel looking to the familiar voice, it's him .

He was showing signs of war. There were signs of a large wound on his face and eye, and he was leaning on a crutch, but that is not the important thing. The important thing is that he has returned now. I ran and threw myself into his arms without thinking for a second He also welcomed me with an embrace, throwing the crutch from his hand.

He's finally home .

“I knew that you would come back, and that you would not leave me,” I said as I sobbed.

“Shh, everything is fine, I’m here now.” He interrupted the hug and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I looked at him as he ran his hand through my hair, “That’s enough. Don’t go again. Please stay with me.” “I'm not going anywhere, sweetie.”

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mercyll · 7 months

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As much as Anthy gaslights and manipulates almost everyone in the series, including Utena, and how much she hurts so many people I can't bring myself to blame her for it. Not even her stabbing Utena and betraying her.

Anthy, from the very beginning of the series, was a victim. She was used as a pawn by Akio and made to feel worthless while she constantly had her autonomy destroyed by her brother. Anthy did everyone he asked her to because she DIDN'T KNOW she could do anything else.

Since she was a little girl she's been a sacrifice. A lamb.

Out of selflessness, she gave up her freedom to save her older brother's life, and by doing so she ended up spelling disaster for herself.

With time, Akio grew evil and greedy, and while the past of Akio and Anthy is a mystery, we know enough to understand that the innocent person he used to be became something much worse and twisted. Deluded by power.

So hundreds of years later, Anthy, who gave her freedom and safety away to save her brother's life is broken. Her brother has gone mad with power and taken advantage of her selfless act to make her an object.

Akio doesn't acknowledge Anthy as a human being and has done everything he can to make her lose hope, torturing her both physically, and emotionally constantly.

When you realise everything Anthy has been through we can really see why she did all those terrible things.

Because of the abuse, Anthy wasn't allowed to be her own person. She knows she's hurting people and she knows she's doing the wrong thing but to her, it doesn't matter.

"What's the point? The cycle will just repeat itself."

"What's the point? I don't have anyone else."

"What's the point? This is all I'm worth."

Anthy has become so emotionally broken and hollow by Akio that she's almost convinced herself she's nothing but "The Rose Bride" an object. She believes all the gaslighting and abuse Akio put her through.

She believes the lies, so she embraces them and does awful things because this has been all she's ever known.

It was all she knew until she met Utena. Utena who sparked a revolution.

The abuse isn't an excuse for Anthy's actions but at the same time, I just can't blame her a single bit.

#revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #anthy himemiya #character analysis #rambles

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paint-it-red-and-black · 5 months

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i was tagged by lovely @loveyougoodbi to do an F1 wrapped. so, here are my results!

i want to elaborate a bit. it was damn hard to do these tops, especially the drivers one. i literally battled with myself for every position ._.

DRIVERS:

1. Charles Leclerc

i adore him as a pilot and as a person. his driving style is exciting and desperate, always on the limit. his fearlessness, his passion for the sport, his loyalty. on the track Charles Leclerc is literally the embodiment of fire and red. i dream of seeing him in a decent car and in my opinion Charles' WDC is only a matter of time.

2. Max Verstappen

Max is perfect on the track. his mistakes are minimal, his calculation and calmness are amazing. i admire his eternal straightforwardness and honest expression of his opinions. i love his dry and sarcastic humour. he is a very strong man who in no way deserves to be booed for his victories.

3. Lando Norris

this boy is a ray of sunshine. protect him and take care of him. and please, for fuck's sake, let 2024 bring him his first victory... as soon as mclaren picked up the pace in the second part of the season, it became immediately apparent what a serious opponent Lando could be on the track. one of the reasons why i have Mexico in my top races is because of his magnificent breakthrough from P19 to P5.

4. Fernando Alonso

is it even necessary to write anything here? how can you not like Alonso? he's even got the best fucking tiktok acc i've ever seen!!!

5. Alex Albon

this man is too fast for Williams. i'm sorry he's spending these years not in a top team, i hope to see him in positions higher up. Alex always makes the most of the car, pulls it in the points and continues to stay positive. he gives off so much warmth that it can't help but make me happy c:

RACES:

1. Las Vegas

everything about it was ✨beautiful✨. from the absolutely awful beginning to the fabulous end. last lap overtake from Charles made me scream. the chaotic start and the amount of overtaking and fighting – oh fuck yes, i honestly didn't expect that. (and sphere was a big plus lmao)

2. Singapore

the only race where RBR had problems led to the fact that we saw a battle for first place from four (4!) cars at once. Carlos took over as Ferrari's strategist and i was honestly very happy to see Carlando on the podium and their genuine embrace c:

3. Zandvoort

chaos? chaos. 186 overtakes. every fucking weather condition. cheering fans. positions changing at the speed of light. liam lawson – what? fernando alonso – WHAT?! and yeah, Max Verstappen still wins the gran prix.

4. Mexico

red bull gives wings right at the first corner. it was great to see both Charles and Lewis on the podium after being disqualified at the previous race. i already mentioned Lando's breakthrough but DAN RICCARDO. he tore everyone and everything. dramatic race i'd say.

5. Monza

it was nice to see ferrari leading the race in Monza. even if only for 15 laps. in 2023, that's a lot for someone who isn't Max. but of course the main highlight is how i almost ended up with heart attack because of the fight between Carlos and Charles in the last laps. but that's what formula 1 should look like. and it was great.

TEAM:

i wrote that it's Red Bull, but i feel a need to mention that because my favourite drivers are all from different teams, it's hard for me to pick just one. when i first started watching formula 1, i would claim to be a Ferrari fan (well i still am...), but the further i got, the more pain and disappointment i got supporting this team and more and more of my respect red bull started to gain. they have a reliable car and strategies. quick pitstops, absolute precision and coordination. they are a team and they deserve every their win this season. now I truly admire RBR.

okay thank you for reading! tagging some people that came to my mind, i'm sorry if you've already done that and i just haven't seen it 😭

no pressure! ignore if you don't feel like it c:

@little-racing-driver @nico-di-genova @tsarinablogs @aduckinpain

link to make an F1 wrapped

#f1 wrapped #f1 #charles lecrelc #max verstappen #lando norris #fernando alonso #alex albon #las vegas gp 2023 #singapore gp 2023 #dutch gp 2023 #mexico gp 2023 #monza gp 2023 #red and black tag games

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noaltbruh · 2 years

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Okay…how would the 😏bucci gang😏 react to going on a fine dinner date with their s/o. When their food is on the table s/o is like ”can i taste your food?😍” After the dinner s/o gives them a puppy dog eyes and says they are still hungry. 😭 (not me implying myself here😳)

So in short s/o is a foodie ❤️🥘 or really hungry person in genarally!

You can ignore this random request, but i thought it was pretty funny. 😅

(i would bit somebodys hand off if they even looks at my food-) 😟

Thank you!☺️

Oh I know you! I've seen you liking basically every post I make, just letting you know I'm very thankful for your support!

Also SORRY IF IT TOOK SO LONG- I'd like to say that it's because I've been on a vacation and I haven't had much time to write...BUT I'M STILL PLAYING HOLLOW KNIGHT AND THAT FUCKING PATH OF PAIN I- NWTSISJSVSUO

I'm sorry ok this is your request I hope you like it-

Bucci gang with a foodie S/O 🥘

Giorno 🐞

I see Giorno as a bit of a picky eater. He was most definitely malnourished early in his life, and his relationship with food just never was the best.

With that being said, he definitely enjoys fancy dinners and they're one of his favourite ways to spoil you when he's not busy on missions!

He thinks it's cute how you're so eager to try his food too, and he'd definitely feed you, whether you're with the rest of the gang or not, it doesn't matter.

He would also ask you if you'd like some more. If you don't stop yourself, you might end up eating both of you's dinner without even realizing. Golden boy wouldn't even bat an eye about it, he's just happy to see you're enjoying yourself.

He can't help but chuckle when you hit him with the puppy eyes and beg him to bring to eat something else. He is a bit worried you might get sick if you exaggerate, but he'll let it slide for once.

The two of you will probably get some ice-cream, this bit knows where to find the best sweets in all town, they're kind of his guilty pleasure.

He won't say anything about your eating tendencies for the most part. As long ad it doesn't affect your health or body, he has no reason to stop you.

However, he reminds you from time to time to be careful, he'd blame himself if you felt sick and hadn't done anything to even try to prevent it.

He does become more firm if you end up feeling bad.

He's not the best cook, but he would surprise you with the finest meals prepared by the best chefs in Italy as a way to apologize for all the time he has to be away from you.

Also, he loves to feed you chocolate pudding.

Bruno 🤐

I think Bucciarati has an incredibly fine taste when it comes to food. He enjoys simple, homemade meals, because they remind him of the happy moments in his childhood. However, he has quite a liking for more complex plates as well, he's an elegant young man, after all.

Just like his friend, he loves to take you out on dinner whenever he gets a night off. He's a gentleman at heart and believes that romantic dates like this are the best way send you in awe.

He gives you a sweet smile and gently directs his fork to your lips when you ask him to have some, and he's happy to see how much you seem to be enjoying yourself. He didn't understand yet how you would have loved literally anything he fed you.

He's more surprised than Giorno when you tell him you're still hungry though, but he can't resist the tenderness in your eyes. He'd gladly accompany you ti get something else, even though it's more mundane than the dinner you just had. He thinks it's a nice change.

But he probably doesn't get anything himself, I believe he has a small stomach, so he quickly gets full.

He's more strict than Giorno when it comes to your eating habits. He will often be there to remind you not to go overboard with your meals. Maybe it'll annoy you from time to time, but remember that he's just doing it for your own good.

With that being said...Bruno also loves to cook, and he can't help but prepare the best plates you'll ever have in your life when he gets the chance too. Bonus point if you also like fish! Bucciarati would love to go fishing from time to time, so expect some exquisite sea food being served at the table if he gets a day off.

Mista 🔫

This dude could eat the entire restaurant, the furniture and the waitresses too, and still claim to be hungry. Like- he needs to feed his fucking stand in order to get them to work. It's not like he's a picky eater either, you could give him inedible stuff and you can bet what you what he's gonna eat that anyway.

I can't see him as someone who likes fancy dates and restaurants, but he'd gladly bring you to one if it makes you happy. He's got money to spend anyway so why not lol.

He's not as quick as the others are to let you try his food though, he's a lot like you when it comes to this sort of thing and he doesn't like sharing. He probably already had to do so with the Pistols, cut him some slack.

It doesn't take long for you to convince him though, your puppy eyes and some "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" should do the trick just fine.

He feeds you too, but only because he wants to make sure you don't end up eating the entire plate.

He comments on how cute you are and quickly goes back to his meal. He'll probably ask you if he can get yours too, and won't stop bugging you 'till you agree.

You end up arguing and get kicked out of the place lmao

You had fun though, he'd definitely do it again if he could.

You both said "I'm still hungry" at the same exact time while you were walking down the street. You looked at each other with a huge grin on your faces ad you already spotted a food stand not to far away in the distance. You bought basically everything they had, it was a night to remember.

You got food poisoning the next day but it's okay, it was all worth it.

He couldn't care less about your eating habits and actually encourages them. He can only cook basic meals so the two of you often get take out, especially since he's too lazy to cook, but you have fun challenging each other to see who can eat more, neither if you ever wins.

You just collapse in the sofa unable to move for the next five hours.

Narancia 🍊

I have this headcanon that Narancia likes to eat, and always tried to follow a varied diet, but he has an incredibly small stomach. You'll see him eating a lot, but it's either because he's gluttonous or because he's kinda forcing himself hoping he'll grow a bit more.

Like Mista, I think he'd find fancy restaurants to be extremely laaaame, but he'll make an effort not to stab a waiter out of boredom for you. He might even brush his hair just to look decent.

He doesn't understand why every meal is so small, yet probably costs more than your organs put together. When you tell him it's because it's high-quality food, he just shrugs and goes back to eat.

He almost chokes when you ask him to try something from his meal, I think it's pretty much canon that he doesn't like sharing it, just like you.

He will complain a bit, but overall agrees just to see you happy, after laughing and commenting on how funny your puppy eyes look.

He doesn't feed you though, just hands you the plate and waits 'till you're done, but he'll take it back as soon as he can.

He'll ask you to try your own in return and will snitch it from you if you don't give it to him willingly. It basically becomes a competition on who can steal more stuff from the other.

After you leave the place, Orange boy is even faster than you and asks to go grab something else before you can even open your mouth. It turns into a race at who can arrive first to the nearest pizzeria, and the two of you end up eating it in top of the nearest stone wall.

Narancia isn't really concerned about your eating habits, but there might be times when he just has to stop and watches you in pure confusion and shock as you keep on chewing like it's nothing.

He can't cook for shit, but you're a lucky one, because you get the special pass that will make him share his snacks with you. It's an honor he doesn't give to many, be grateful for it.

He becomes more careful if you ever were to feel sick though, especially since he would have no idea of what to do to help you get better and probably burn a cup trying to prepare a camomile for you.

Fugo 🍓

Fugo is that kind of person that looks at food and is already full somehow. He might even skip a meal or two if he's too busy with work or just caught up in something else, so please try to remind him to take care of himself before it becomes a recurring habit.

When it comes to fancy restaurants and dinners, I think Fugo wouldn't mind them and would carefully follow the place's etiquette. Although I can't help but think he'd also be extremely nervous, thinking of any possibly way he could make a fool out of himself in front of all those important or rich people.

He isn't very skeptical when it comes to food, and enjoys what the chef has to offer. He has no problem sharing it with you when you ask him, but I do believe he'd be a bit surprised, considering how much stuff you've already ordered for yourself.

Another one who would hand you the plate, but tells you to be quick. He knows one shouldn't take food from the other's, but he's too shy to feed it to you himself.

He'd give you a little smile and remarks how much you seem to be enjoying yourself, which makes him happy and helps him loosen up a bit of the tension he has created inside of his brain.

He may not agree immediately when you tell him you want to go grab something else. He doesn't understand how you can still be hungry after such a dinner, but he's not in the mood for arguing and is afraid he may lose his patience if you insisted too much, so he decides to play along.

He doesn't have the stomach for anything else, unless we're talking about a strawberry flavored dessert. He'll probably feel ashamed of himself for eating so much the next day.

He probably remarks a couple of times how an excessive assumption of food could be bad for your health etcetera...

Although he'd get incredibly technical and specific about it, so whether you listen to him or not it's up to you, just remember he's doing it for your sake.

Abbacchio 🔄

A huge picky eater. I mean, he'd eat almost anything if he has to, but there are few things Abbacchio genuinely enjoys eating.

I do believe that he'd love to go on a dinner date with you, but he would highly dislike the atmosphere, probably because of all the rich guys giving him weird looks for the dark way he dresses.

With that being said, he's probably way more interested in trying some wines rather than the actual plates they serve. He might even start to ramble to you about their differences in taste, their quality, the country they were made in and all.

So when you ask him to have some of his food, he's kind of startled. He looks at you, sighs and feeds you a forkful of whatever he happened to be having. He doesn't want you to take stuff from his plate, that's disgusting.

He really likes long walks and was planning on simply relaxing, when you had the courage to give him that fake innocent look and tell him you wanted more.

He's unsure if he should go along with you or not, but he doesn't even have the time to think about it, considering you've already taken his hand and are dragging him to the nearest food stall you could find.

He tells you to stop eating so much and that it's bad for your health, but he's secretly chuckling to himself seeing your goofy smile as you get your face all dirty.

Will probably hand you and handkerchief to clean yourself lol.

You insist on wanting to try something made by him, but Abbacchio constantly claims that he can't cook.

He's lying.

He could prepare basic meals before and during his time as a Passione soldato, but I can't help but think he's gotten consistently better at it, having to help Bruno cook for 5 people.

Will shove off any compliment you try to give him, commenting how you simply "like everything"

Trish 🎙

I believe Trish has a huge sweet tooth, but kinda keeps it hidden, since it would mind of ruin her whole appearance as someone who's very careful to her physical form. She does make an effort not to exaggerate and is pretty good at it, since she forces herself on a pretty strict diet most of the time.

She loves to go from party to party and have fun, but she doesn't mind a fancy dinner with her significant other once in a while! She is quite busy with her singing career, and only wants the best for her and her darling. Besides...It's the perfect chance for her to wear that new pink dress she's been meaning to show off.

She only picks the most high-classed meal the restaurant has to offer, but she doesn't even get the chance to try it before your eyes already fall on it. She'll raise an eyebrow and say "Really?" While trying to contain a small chuckle, but she won't say no. She thinks you're so adorable when you give her that look and will call you puppy for the rest on the night because of your eyes.

When you left the place, the thought of getting a dessert somewhere else crossed her mind, but she didn't dare to express it out loud.

That is, of course, until you shamelessly did for her. You kind of expected her to be surprised or not to accept immediately, but boy were you wrong.

This girl will happily hold tighter to your hand as she leads you to her favourite gelateria. She'll ask you of you want to share an ice cream with her, but you both end up taking your own because you're too gluttonous.

If you were to remark how, to your surprise, Trish seems to be having a blast as much as you, she'll deny everything and will probably say that she's just doing it because you wanted to.

Since she's the daughter of a single mom, I think she learned how to cook just to help out Donatella as much as she could when she was still alive. She doesn't like to and is not an expert chef, but she tries.

If we're talking about baking, however, she's all in for that! One day, she might even surprise you with a picnic on the beach or park, full of sweets prepared by her :)

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paula-of-christ · 3 months

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I'm just so exhausted. I hate the meanness of online culture that isn't even online anymore, it's spread everywhere. I hate the celebration of crass vulgarity, the awful words people use to refer to themselves and their bodies, I hate how apathy is rewarded and how denigrating things and poking holes in other people's joy is considered funny, how far the world has fallen. I hate how rotten everything is and how powerless I am, and no matter who I try to have faith in it doesn't actually change anything in the world. I hate this website and the shallowness and irreverence it promotes, I hate how in real life attempts at profundity are met with coarseness. I hate how religion isn't taken seriously anymore - I'm not even really a Catholic (it's weird. I'm not really and atheist and not really a Catholic and sometimes all I want is God's comfort and other times I just can't make myself believe in Him), but I can't stand the ignorant invective with which people assail Christianity - and other religions. I can't stand how it's impossible to exist as a woman without being sexualised just for existing and how I'm meant to take it as a compliment. I can't stand how sorrow isn't seen as something necessary and beautiful to dwell in and that seeing value in it is a weakness. I can't stand how loving beauty is elitist. I'm nineteen, and all I want is to crawl away and hide, and I hate myself for feeling all of this. I feel as though my only options are a convent or a psych ward and I don't particularly want either. I'm so so sorry for disgorging all of this in your inbox. I suppose it's selfish of me, and I'm sorry for it. I think I've fallen low enough not to even want to repent, and although it's monstrously selfish I think I'm trying to absolve myself by asking for the ear and comfort of someone whose faith is more resilient than mine. I suppose all that makes us human in the end is faith, and I don't know if I'm human anymore.

I let this sit for a day or two, because I'm struggling to find the words that don't make it sound like I'm belittling your feelings. Because they are very valid feelings to feel! I know it will seem from my blog currently that I have such a resilient faith, but right now I'm in more of an up-swing of loving God. But a lot of your feelings are definitely things I've felt before, even if I never posted about them. I find that my faith is much stronger when I focus on posting positive things, even when I'm hurt about particular topics.

However, I also want to point out that what you're feeling is decently average for a 19 year old to feel in our current culture. Even those on the opposite political or religious isle, will feel the same way you're feeling, just about different things. Think about from this point of view, how naive and small-minded you likely saw the world at 16. Part of having 'faith more resilient' and just growing and maturing into adulthood, is that in five years, you have to work to not feel that way. I am lucky to have a husband that has so easily and willingly accepted the Catholic view of things, in order to strengthen my own faith, I don't know that I would necessarily have been quite so faithful if I didn't.

I can understand when you say that you feel like both an atheist and a theist at the same time. A lot of what I used to feel from God has gone away; whether because it was never actually from God or because of some other reasons, I don't know. But, it certainly makes faith a struggle and brings on a feeling that I'm 'just pretending'. A lot of having faith in my experience (though this is not everyone's, and certainly people can pick out flaws in doing this) is to just simply choose to think it's God. Without any logical reasoning or 'proof'. And when the doubts come up, to just clear your mind and ignore them. Someone truly atheist of course will say 'see that just proves God isn't real' or some other extensive yet exhausting argument. The thing is, faith isn't based in logic, and it ought not be based in what other's say or do, insofar as other people's sins or deviation from God (ie wickedness) cause doubts. Faith is meant to be blind, having faith in something does not have its basis in logical conclusions or scientific data. If I get to the end of my life, and I was wrong about God, I can at least say "I did what I could to be a kind and merciful person, and that made the world a better place in spite of the horribleness of some people".

I can't say that I see the culture you describe anywhere other than online, however, I don't have many in-person friends, and the ones I do have are my husband's, who are a bit older than us, so it may be an age/generational thing. Outside of them, most of the people I personally interact with are Catholic or at the very least Christian, which I think is a leading cause to the difference in experience. Definitely there are Christians that do not live up to the standard, we see that on this website (myself included), but it's so so so important to pursue.

Lent is coming up, and while I don't have very good advice for this in general, I think taking some time to read the book of Job, maybe with an explanation/exegesis of it would be good. Also, if you live somewhere cold and without much sunlight, like me, get some vitamin D supplements. When you find yourself getting frustrated with people either online or in person, it is absolutely ok, and I strongly encourage you to walk away physically, and just pray. Download the iBreviary app and do Night Prayer (Compline) every night. It may be awkward at first, but I found the best way of showing who really cares about me, is by putting my foot down and saying 'no, you can't act that way around me, and if you do, I'll simply remove myself."

#catholic #catholicism #christian #christianity #queued #advice tag

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icedmetaltea · 1 year

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Why do you like yandere stuff so much? No judgement, I'm just wondering cause I noticed a lot of people like it and I just can't wrap my head around it, so I wanted to ask a few people who enjoy it

WELL it's a bit of a loaded answer... I obvs can't answer for everyone, so this is just my personal take:

(pretty long and also just ioewjgfuireuiver kinda emBARRASSING so ima put it under here)

A bitch be lonely. I think that's the most common thing that draws people to the trope. Like, if you're someone who grew up without friends like me, the idea of being solely idolized by someone, like given their complete attention is just rlly appealing to me. To be loved, to be wanted, to be worshiped no matter how much your brain has convinced you that you're not worthy of love is just *chef's kiss*

The attention. This is kinda the same as the first answer but for me a big thing I love in the trope is when I- or well y/n, more correctly- gets praised a lot and treated like they're the most important thing in the world. I already have awful self-esteem so I like being told I'm perfect and wonderful as I am (TヘT) I think most people also have this mindset.

Being taken care of completely. No more worries about bills, food, shelter, etc... cause it's all taken care of for you (whether u like it or not so you don't have to feel guilty about it lol)

The whole power dynamic. I don't rlly have a sub/dom kink or at least not the mainstream kind (?) but I do enjoy the idea of being able to let go and just be myself without having to worry about judgement or societal norms- because, well, said character has already broken out of what's considered acceptable by kidnapping you or whatever so we're already past that lol.

Kinda adding onto that, being able to be flawed without, again, worrying about putting someone off. You can be ugly, socially inept, talentless, fuckin' stupid, whatever, and it's all okay. You don't have to fit in with anything society deems attractive- said character is flawed enough themselves to find you perfect.

The danger aspect. I love horror in general, so it's kind of like that for me. I have severe anxiety so being able to just feel scared for a while can be incredibly cathartic for me.

The "reframing" thing. In case you haven't noticed, yandere stuff for me tends to be pretty light-hearted. While I'm totally cool with people enjoying yandere stuff with tons of blood/violence/etc, I usually go for "softer" stuff, like stalking, kidnapping, etc. In a way, I'm taking something that makes me feel helpless and scared and making it something that brings me an odd sort of comfort. I suppose this is a way I can cope with anxiety- by taking some form of fear, like how I often feel helpless and trapped during panic attacks, and putting it in the context of when I'm helpless and trapped but in the arms of someone who wants nothing more than to protect me and would literally crush anyone/anything that tried to hurt me aaaAAA ❤️

The fact that it it's fiction! Fiction is a beautiful thing, where you can tackle potentially traumatic things without irl consequences. Would I want anything like this irl? NO!! Stalking/kidnapping/what have you is absolutely vile if it takes place in real life. Even stuff like be very controlling of a partner (unless you have their complete consent and have talked this stuff out ahead of time/have a safe word and all) is entirely unhealthy and toxic. In fiction?? Go for it. It can also be a great way to cope with intrusive thoughts if you suffer from those as well.

That being said, it's absolutely not for everyone, and I imagine most people would find the trope to be disgusting and horrific- and that is completely understandable and okay! It's up to people (who I'm assuming and HOPING are 18+ bc if you're a minor it can be way harder to distinguish reality from fiction and lead an immature person to believe any of these traits like being controlling/ultra possessive are okay irl and maybe even encourage them to seek out abusive relationships/yandere stuff tends to be thrown in with stuff like violence, sexuality, really disturbing stuff in general, etc so when I say all these things, it's coming from my ADULT perspective) to be discerning of what they can handle both mentally and emotionally. If it leaves you feeling gross, creeped out, or disturbed in some way, stop and avoid it.

Alright, sorry for the ramble! As you can tell I'm pretty passionate about it. I hope that answered your question somewhat! ✨

#Answer tag #Metaltea Talks #yandere #tw yandere #nsft #tw nsft #just in case #kink mention #tw kink mention #Metaltea rambles #longpost #*gives anon a cup of huckleberry tea*

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theshotsheardacrossworlds · 5 months

Text

Care

Freya cares for Astarion. Deeply. SFW.

Author's Note: Freya is the elf version of my FFXIV OC Agi. Can't stop won't stop lol.

“Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk.”

Those words from Astarion sent a chill down Freya’s spine. He’s not one to want to talk, which means this could be something very bad. “Are you all right?” She said, trying to sound as normal as possible…I’m not bothered. Nope. Not all. Not nervous. Absolutely not.

“Oh yes, I’m fine. I just…feel awful.” Before Freya had time to respond, he continued. “Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan---seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me.” Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “It was easy---instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you…which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart.” Wait, what? Did he… “You…you’re incredible. You deserve something real. I want us to be something real.”

She could feel hot tears flowing down her freckled, pale cheeks. “So the nights we spent together didn’t mean anything?” Freya whispered, her gaze drifting towards the ground. They didn’t. You were a means to an end. Gregor was right---no one would ever willing choose—

“Of course they did---that’s the problem. Or part of it. Being close to someone---any kind of intimacy---was something I performed to lure people back for him. Even though I know things between us are different,” He thinks they are? Then maybe he… “being with someone still feels…tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to.”

She closed her eyes, tears still streaking her face. “I care about you. Deeply.” I love you. Gods damn me, but I love you.

“Really?”

Opening her eyes, she took two long strides and embraced him. He stood for a few moments completely still as Freya gave him a gentle squeeze. I love you. You’re so much more than you think you are. Before long, she felt his lithe arms hug her plush form. He rested his head on her shoulder.

He stepped back, letting her go, and smirked. “You…you are full of surprises, aren’t you? Honestly, I have no idea what we’re doing. Or what comes next.” Astarion offered a hand, which Freya took. “But this…this is nice.” His hands now sandwiched hers. He was always cold unless she let him feed, but it did not bother her.

“We’ll figure it all out together, love. And don’t worry---there’s plenty of things to do that are intimate but aren’t sex. Like coming to my tent and having a cuddle?” She smiled; her brown eyes hopeful.

Heaving a dramatic sigh, he replied, “Oh, I suppose so, my sweet! Lead the way.” Astarion turned elegantly, stepping to be by her side and wrapping an arm around her generous waist. “Do you like this?” He murmured, his fingers dancing under the fabric of her tunic.

“Yes, love.” Freya blushed. No one’s ever touched me like this. Gods, it feels amazing.

“Because I certainly do. You’re so nice to touch, darling. Just tell me if there’s something you don’t like.” Grinning with his fangs showing, he opened the flap to her tent. “After you, my dear.”

Still blushing furiously, she nodded quickly as she scurried past him into her tent. It’s not home, but it’s nice. Once inside her tent, Freya had to hunch over, much to her dissatisfaction. Tents aren’t meant for tall people, I’m sure of it. “You don’t mind if I put on something else, do you? I think I laced myself too much earlier.” The only reason I wear this bloody corset is because it makes my boobs look amazing.

“Allow me, my sweet.” He hummed, moving to step in front of her. As he unlaced her, she noted a touch of concern in his eyes. “Why on earth did you lace so tightly?!” There was no small amount of annoyance in his voice, but the concern only seemed to grow. “You need room to breathe and move, dearest. Let me lace you next time, hmm? I’ll do it perfectly for you.”

She swallowed, her cheeks burning. “I, erm…well, my chest looks good wearing this, and it’s frankly the only good things about me are my bo—”

Astarion hissed as his ruby eyes stared up at her. “You and I both know that’s not true. You’re so much more than a frankly fantastic pair of tits.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m aware everyone thinks I’m so sweet and lovely and nice and polite and kindhearted but ugly as sin.” And maybe that’s why you chose me. I was the easiest target. Too sweet. Too lovely. Too nice. Too polite. Too kindhearted. Easy. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wished the shadows would swallow her whole. Easy. So easy to seduce and manipulate. So stupid. Mum would be so disappointed. She taught you better than that. But no, you cling to the first person who shows any interest in you because you’re a desperate, awful, stupid—

“Darling…Freya…what’s the matter? Why are you crying? Did I do something?” His voice was low but laced with panic. “Please, speak to me. What did I do?”

For the first time in decades, she felt herself losing control of her magic. Hot tears streaked down her face as lightning flared from her fingertips. Astarion jumped back and yelped. No. Not now. No. NO. “NO!” She growled, willing the magic within her to quiet. Her eyes opened after a few moments; the lightning gone.

“What was that? What happened?” Oh fuck, he’s scared. Shit. Fuck. Gods damn me. No matter what I do with him I fuck up. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

She began to sob. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. When I’m upset---really upset---I can lose control a bit. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Freya slumped to her knees. She did not notice Astarion rush to her side and take one of her hands in his, crouching down. “I’m so stupid. I’ve fallen in love with you…you’re the first man I’ve ever loved…the first one I’ve ever slept with…and all I can think right now is that you picked me because I’m…I’m…” The tadpole squirmed in her skull. Stupid. Easy. Too nice. Too sweet. Too polite. Too kind. Too trusting. Ugly. Cow. No one will ever—

Stop. Stop, darling. Stop. You’ve given me a gift, so it’s high time I gave you one in return.

Freya was now seeing through Astarion’s eyes. She saw herself speaking with Gale and felt Astarion’s jealousy, yearning, and desire. In an instant, it was night. She was standing with Astarion, speaking about her day when she heard his thoughts.

She has such beautiful eyes…

The warmest smile…

She cares for me…

Another memory flashed---a few weeks prior when Karlach practically dragged her back to camp with Lae’zel and Wyll yelling for Halsin and Shadowheart. Freya had gotten hurt badly by Shadow Creatures. She felt his panic. His despair.

No. No. No. Not her. Not her. Please. No. Not her. Please, I’ll do anything…KILL ANYONE…please.

She saw him sitting with her while was unconscious.

I should’ve been there. I might’ve prevented this. I would’ve protected her. My poor darling girl…

She saw him hold her hand.

Don’t worry, sweetness. I’ll protect you. You already said you’d watch my back, and yet I never said it to you. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.

One more memory---him watching her undress during their second night together.

Give her more to keep her coming back. NO NO NO NO NO. Stop thinking like that. She’s not a target for the Master. She’s not just another body. No. At the very least, you fool, give her a good time. It’s what she deserves…and so much more than you could ever give her. Fool. Liar. But…I didn’t lie about missing her. I did. I do. I miss having her body against mine…I feel safe when she holds me…

The connection between them was broken, and both had tears in their eyes. It was Astarion who spoke first. “You see,” his voice was trembling. “I’ve cared for you for some time now. You’re not simply incredible, as I said, you’re beautiful,” he kissed her knuckles. “Kind.” Kiss. “Smart.” Kiss. “A little sassy when you want to be.” Kiss. “You are so incredibly you, Freya dear. I love that.” The smallest smile tugged on his lips with the hint of a fang showing. Gods, he looks fucking adorable right now. Best not say it though! At least now! “I love you.”

What Astarion did not expect was her practically tackling him into quite possibly the biggest hug I’ve ever given. “I love you too, Astarion.”

“By the Nine Hells, woman! When I said I like the feel of your body against mine, I did not mean crushing me!” He smirked under her. “We can save that for another night, darling! Haha!” She rolled her eyes as they sat up and began to fiddle with the hooks on her corset. “Please let me.”

“Alright, love.” She said softly, letting her hands drop to her lap. The hooks were taken care of quickly (Gale says he has the magic touch, but sorry mate, it’s Astarion), and Freya finally got it off. She kept her soft arms over her ample chest, looking for another shirt.

He picked up one and gave it a sniff. “This one’s acceptable, though you should let me take care of this little tear, my sweet. And you don’t have to cover yourself. I’ve seen your marvelous tits.” He smirked as he handed her the shirt and chuckled when he saw blush paint her cheeks once more.

“I-I, well…with us, you know, not having sex for the foreseeable future that you wouldn’t want—”

Astarion sighed dramatically. “No sex doesn’t mean no tits! Fondling tits---great. Fucking tits---not right now but certainly at a later date!” As she put the shirt on, he huffed. “While you’re a sweetheart for thinking of me, let’s sort out the details together as time goes along. Deal?” He offered a pale hand.

Freya raised a teasing eyebrow. “A deal sealed with a kiss?” You’re not the only one who can flirt…even though you do it a lot better than me.

He laughed heartily as he inched closer to her lips. “As if you have to ask, darling.” Though his voice was dripping with his usual charm, the kiss was different. Tentative. Oh, Astarion. She cupped his cheek, her kiss gentle. He leaned into her touch, and Freya heard a breathy moan. “You truly are perfect every time.” There was no hint of sarcasm or teasing in his voice. Gods, he actually means it. He’s not lied to me when he’s said it. His lips quirked into a half a smirk. “I’m half expecting you to say ‘thank you.’” He did an impression of her which was totally not accurate at all. Gods, do I sound like that?!

She could not help but chuckle. “Guilty. Either that, or ‘I’d say it back, but you’ve got a big enough head already.’ Do you…would you like to cuddle, love? If not, that’s completely fine. I’m happy if you are.” Don’t start rambling. Don’t do it. Just…SHHHHHH.

“Well, since you asked nicely,” he teased, lying down on her bedroll. “I suppose I can oblige just this once.”

“Then I better make this the best fucking cuddle ever, or I’m done for!” They both laughed, and she laid her head on his chest.

A lithe arm wrapped around her soft, broad shoulders and a sigh escaped him. “I’ve every faith in you, my dear.” No sarcasm again. He…means it. They lay in silence for some time, eventually shifting so that Freya was spooning Astarion. “I must say, darling, I’m enjoying all the warmth. And if I had just a bit of blood, it’ll almost be like I’m alive again! Ha!”

She gave him a squeeze, chuckling into his white curls. “If you’re hungry, you can feed, love. You know I don’t mind.”

He continued to laugh. “In a while, sweetness. Those cultists I ate earlier were more satisfying than I thought.” Astarion placed a hand over hers and spoke softly. “You needn’t worry so.”

“Impossible. I’ll always worry about you. How could I not?” She pressed a kiss to his neck where the twin punctures were. “I love you.”

“Even if we…we won’t be—”

“Yes. Do you know why, love?” She felt him shake his head and kissed his neck again. “Because I just want to be with you, no matter what. Especially if it’s this. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

“You make it sound so simple, darling.” He said sadly, turning his head towards her lips. They met for a moment before he spoke once more. “Regardless, I appreciate what you said more than you’ll ever know.” Astarion rolled over to face her. “May I stay with you tonight?”

Freya wrinkled her nose and giggled. “As if you have to ask. Of course. My tent is yours.”

“If that’s the case,” he smirked. “Then allow me to redecorate? Darling, it’s positively drab in here.”

She gave him a quick kiss before rolling her eyes. “No.” I mean, it’s a fucking tent! My house, which is tastefully decorated, is obviously better in every way than this tent!!!!

Sometime later, as they slipped into their nightly meditations, she felt his parasite call to hers.

Rest well, my sweet.

You too, love.

I adore you, you know…my beautiful girl…

#freya wildheart #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav #astarion x plus size tav #plus size tav #astarion #freya x astarion #hurt comfort and fluff

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funnyclownwriter · 7 months

Text

TA-DA!!!!! I HAVE SURVIVED MY HEADCANONS FOR PROFESSOR TURO!!!!!! I made it an alphabet because I wanted to give myself a challenge!

Word count: 3,394 words!!! (Can't you believe that?! Just for one character too!!)

A = Affection + Activities (How affectionate is Professor Turo? How does he show affection? How does he spend his free time with you?):

He’s always stuck at his research lab doing his work on the terastal phenomenon that’s been going around in Paldea, but he always wants to make room for you because he wants to see your wonderful face, your beautiful eyes that are filled with wonder and awe, your warm smile… It makes him whole seeing you after his wife went away somewhere, leaving him alone with the newborn Arven

He shows his affection by giving you small kisses and small gifts here and there if you’re asleep and he knows he’ll be gone from your warm touch that he long craves. He thinks you’d complain about his beard, but if you say that you love the feeling of his beard on your face and shoulders, him being surprised would be an extreme understatement!

He spends his days just resting on you cause the man needs as much rest as much as the next man, so don’t be surprised if he gets undressed after getting in his room to put on something more cosy cause he thinks you think that his work outfit isn't the most ideal of cuddles.

B = Beauty (What does Professor Turo admire about you? What does he think is beautiful about you?):

Depending on what your personality is (loud and feisty/quiet and shy/weird and nerdy/ect), he loves you no matter what because he actually finds it hot and cute that you have quite the personality that makes him fall deeper in love with you!

He can’t choose anything that he finds beautiful in you, but the way you’re dressed and looking into your eyes is always the gateway to him giving himself something to come home to after a long day of work! No matter if you’re sleeping or not, he’d always look at you with a smile, give you a kiss and carry you to bed to cuddle (if you’re not in bed already).

C = Cuddles + Comfort (Does Professor Turo like to cuddle? How would he cuddle you? How would he help you when you’re feeling down?):

He wants to cuddle 24/7 with you, but his work always requires to stay in the lab. He always tries to incorporate that work into his home life to actually cuddle you and be with you while he works because he stresses out so easily.

Turo would always be the big spoon if you decide to spoon with him, unless you hold him to your chest and play with his hair. He loves it when you play with his hair.

He wouldn’t know what to do but to give you his coat and hold you until you feel better and happy. He does love you, but doesn’t know how to help you when you’re feeling like this.

D = Domestic + Dreams (Does Professor Turo want to settle down? How does he picture their future together?):

Turo really wants to settle down with you, even with work and taking care of his son holding him back, so he has a lot to juggle as you would imagine. He’d like for his work to be more at home to be with you and Arven, but it almost always has to be at Area Zero, unfortunately. When he gets home late at night with you in sight, he has the most charming and sweetest smile while talking about his discoveries/finding on his papers. It brings him joy to tell someone about these sorts of things, after all.

He couldn’t see a better world without you in it and being his son’s step parent, but he’s honestly worried that his son would show his anger about it and be extremely upset about it. When his son said that he was happy and approves of the relationship, you’d best believe he had the most goofiest grin that there could ever be! He was so happy to hear that from his own son out of anyone else!

E = Equal (Is Professor Turo the dominant in the relationship or a passive lover?):

He tries to lean more passive when it comes to the relationship, but he always accidentally comes off as dominant, which he apologises profusely about the dominance he gives off. He also tries to be the gentle, yet fierce lover, which gives him back his flair to fall in love again, especially with someone like you. He always tries to come off as this macho man, but absolutely melts by your arms around him and you peppering him with kisses all over his face.

F = Fiancé (How does Professor Turo feel about commitment? How quickly would he want to get married?):

He’s a fucking committed guy that would treat you with endless respect and respects your body as your own temple! He wants you to live as comfortably as possible as well, so expect him to call you when he’s on break (if he has service) and send selfies or when he’s out and about. If you’re wanting to have him bring home something, he’d get it delivered to the door asap!

He doesn’t want to rush things with you at all. He feels like he’d be too pushy with all the talk about him wanting to get married when in reality, he’s just concerned that he’d end up alone at the end of his life. You’re his only dream person to be with since the person he loved left him alone with a child. How could he be able to live with himself after you leave him too? But if you don’t want marriage, then he’s happy and content with what he has now!

G = Gentle + Gratitude (How gentle is Professor Turo, both physically and emotionally? How grateful are they and are they aware of everything you do for them?):

He’s extremely gentle and considerate about you because he doesn’t know if you’re an extremely fragile person or not. If you’re physically fragile, he’d help you with daily tasks and try to stay by your side and take you to work if you’re having a bad physical day. If you’re emotionally sensitive, he’d be careful with certain topics that could be triggering to you. At the end of the day, he showers kisses all over you and tells you how amazing you did conquering today and helps you to bed if you need it.

He’s very grateful you’re in his life and Arven’s life because you take care of both their needs if his son’s home for school break. The first time you met Arven is when you were snuggling on top of his dad and MAN WAS HE CONFUSED!!! He couldn't scold his own dad in front of you about how upset he was because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings and to have you two with his own issues, so he goes straight to his room and tries to figure out the emotions he’s feeling at the moment.

H = Honesty (Does Professor Turo have secrets he hides from you or does he share everything with you?):

He has his fair share of secrets on who Arven’s mother is, but he doesn’t want to tell Arven because he’d be on a journey to find her. He also has a secret that he was an AI until he turned back into a human, hence why he has such a slight metallic tone to his voice. He’s worried that you’d be scared and confused on how he went from human to AI and from AI back to human again while trying to leave the relationship.

I = “I love you” (How fast did Professor Turo say the L-word?):

He tries to say that he seems to be the type to say “I love you” as quickly as most people do when he first sees you on a blind date, but he had butterflies in his stomach and tried to shake off the feeling. What he failed to say was that he fell head over heels for you, which he accidentally blurted out when he had the story about how the both of you first met.

J = Jealousy (How jealous does Professor Turo get? Does he get jealous easily? If so, how does he deal with it? What does he do when he’s jealous?):

He’s more overbearing than jealous due to the fact that you were from Kalos and tried to keep a keen eye on you so that you wouldn’t get hurt from the paradox pokemon or from other trainers.

K = Kisses (What are Professor Turo’s kisses like? Where does he like to kiss you? What was your first kiss with him like?):

His kisses are loving and passionate, leaving you with a kiss that’s always unforgettable everytime he kisses you. He even gives you a little dip to kiss you on the lips and neck. His kisses are always barbarous and ticklish with his beard in the way, but you still love that beard of his tickling and poking you (unless you want him to shave it, then he’d be more than happy to do so!)

He loves to kiss you everywhere, but his most favourite kisses are when he’s away from you for so long. He kisses you from your hand, all the way up your arm to your neck until kissing your cheek. It melts you every single time~

The first kiss with him was when he was taking you back to your place after your blind date with him. He offered to take you there since he felt that you’d be in grave danger if you walked alone. When you two got to your place, you offered him to spend the night with you, which he agreed to do. When you two crashed on the couch (with you on top of him), you locked into each other's eyes, leaned into each other, closed your eyes, and the rest was history.

L = Love Language (What is Professor Turo’s love language(s)? Is it compatible with yours?):

His main two love languages are physical touch and quality time. He loves taking his time with you and being in your sweet embrace while you kiss him and tell him you love him a whole lot.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with Professor Turo? What does your morning routine like with him?):

Turo spends his mornings doing research/reading in bed while you make breakfast for the both of you. You like to see him working on his paper while you eat the food you made for yourself and for him as he eats. He wears glasses while he works, which boosts his shyness and insecurities with not being able to see as he used to. Just a simple “You look even sexier with glasses on while working” will boost his confidence and more~

Your morning routine with him consists of making breakfast together (if he’s not already caught up with work or is finished earlier than he should), bathing together while drinking the finest coffee beans/herbal tea blends in all of Paldea without anything too spicy happening between you two, many kisses and a simple fluttering kiss before he gets ready to go to Area Zero.

N = Nicknames (What does Professor Turo call you?):

He has a lot of nicknames for you, but he calls you “meu tudão, mi ángel, mi vida, mi preciosa bombón, ect.” just to get a rise from you.

O = On cloud nine (What is Professor Turo like when he’s in love? Is it obvious for others? How does he express his feelings to you?):

He tends to be more eyes on you and more flustered when you exchange glances back to him with a smile on your face and a wave hello to him. When he gets like this, he tends to bury his face into his hands with an “I’m never gonna win them over” expression on his face.

His paradox pokemon took notice of this and tried to get you closer towards him (emotionally) just to make his gears go wild as a way to tease him even more, which always ends up with you laughing at the fact that he’s more red than a tomato berry. He’s still hung over with those paradox pokemon to this very day.

He eventually gets his shit together and tells you that he loves you by giving you a Kitakarian Applin during his travels there because “you’re the applin of my eye” he says. You had kept that applin to this very day to remind you of his burning love and desire for you

P = PDA (Is Professor Turo upfront about your relationship? Does he brag about you with others or is he rather shy to kiss, hold hands, ect. when others are watching?):

He doesn’t usually initiate the PDA until you start to hold his arm close to your body, feeling needy, or just in need of a simple kiss on the cheek for reassurance because this man’s extremely busy and tired (he needs as much rest as he can get with you).

He’s extremely shy at first, but slowly gains the confidence he needs with you leaving sticky notes for him every day that he’s an amazing lover, amazing, wonder, all those sweet nothings on those sticky notes makes him smile and get ready to see after a long day after when he does get the chance to see you again!

Q = Quizzes (How many little things does Professor Turo remember about you?):

He remembers every single detail about you, even when you least expect it! If he catches a glimpse of you seeing something you always wanted online, he’d buy it secretly without you noticing! If you say “I’m in need of an extra poke-dollar or two,” he’d give you 200 poke-dollars via cash based apps with a bonus 50 poke-dollars to spoil yourself with! If you want him to hold you and tell you you’re the most gorgeous thing that ever graced this wonderful world with humans and pokemon, he’d do just that and whisper even more sweet nothings to your ear just to make you more secure about yourself because he loves you that much, which makes him all the sweeter.

R = Romance (How romantic is Professor turo? What would he do to make you happy? What’s your favourite moment in your relationship with him?):

He’s an extremely suave man with a lot of charm once you break him out of his shy shell, so expect him to let you steal his hoodies, bring you back a maschiff that he caught for you to be the companion that you need whenever he’s gone, more romantic dates around Paldea (whether that be something as fancy as a boujee restaurant that you two always wanted to go to or as simple as an evening stroll through the parks while having sandwiches together!)

He tries to make it home to your dinner before the food gets cold if it’s hot food, gives you a massage, bring home the finest chocolates that you ever tasted and hold you while kissing you, which you always say “You didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me, mi papi chulo,” in which he always says that he’d would be a happy man if you would accept the offerings as your blessings from him because he loves you for crying out loud!

Your favourite moment out of many is when he gave you a poem he wrote for you in Paldeanese (Espana Spanish) cursive, which was honestly hard to read because it looked too much like some doctor's handwriting. You translated it into your home region’s language, which was a love poem that was so filled with passion, desire and motivation on how he’d stay with you until his dying breath together, which made you cry tears of joy.

S = Security + Support (How protective is Professor Turo? Is he helping you achieve your goals?):

He’s extremely protective of you to the point where he’d throw hands at a wild pokemon for your sake, even if it’s bigger than him. If he does end up getting injured, you always take him to Miriam to patch him up. He always does this with you if you run into a bunch of the oinkolonge trying to take you down.

He always wants you to reach beyond the stars and to your bright future since he’s always by your side and wanting to see you grow mentally and emotionally because your passions are his passions too!

T = Try (How much effort would Professor Turo put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks in everyday life?):

He tries his best to put a lot of effort into dates, anniversaries, gifts and everyday tasks for you and him since he wants you to be happy. He takes photos of your journey, whether that was when you evolved your first pokemon fidough into a dachsbun, you snuggled with your now evolved mabosstiff or even something as simple as you smiling at the camera with him on your dates and anniversaries with him. He keeps the photos, copies them and sends those photos to you and Arven just to bring you two closer as step-parent and son.

U = Understanding (How well does Professor Turo know you? Is he empathetic or apathetic towards you?):

He tries to understand your emotions still, but he’s always up to holding you or you using him as a punching bag if you need to let your frustrations out on him because he’s been an AI for a good while until turning back into a human once again.

He’s very empathetic towards you and to your mental health cause he believes that mental health matters to the psyche due to his own mental, emotional and physical neglect from the past and from time and time again.

V = Value (How important is the relationship to Professor Turo? What is it worth in comparison to other things in his life?):

It means everything to him that he’s with you cause he gets worried that you might hurt yourself or others if you’re feeling down or tearing your emotional and physical needs apart, which is why he got that maschiff for you!

He wants to quit all his work just to spend the rest of his days with you because he believes that being without you and leaving you alone for so long for days at a time is such a waste of a relationship for him.

W = Whole (Would Professor Turo feel incomplete without you?):

He would feel extremely incomplete without you, your smell, your touch, your kisses, your everything if you decide to leave him like his partner did with him and Arven. He wants you to stay near and close if given the chance and he would trade the world to be with you one last time before he’s gone like the wind.

X - Xtra (A random fluff headcanon about Professor Turo!):

He wants to have another child if you’re wanting to carry his kin or adopt a child, which Arven’s always curious about being an older brother to a younger child in the family.

Y = Yearning (How would Professor Turo cope when he’s missing you?):

He tends to be in pain emotionally and spiritually while physically aching for your sweet touch of yours just so that he can leave his work behind and not be trapped in Area Zero all the time without you near him cause he always misses you during those longing hours, even days of work. He wants to be with you as much as the next man wants to be with you

Z = Zeal (Is Professor Turo willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of relationship would he strive for with these great lengths?):

He would do anything for this relationship to be a loving fire instead of it being a glowing ember. He’d do anything for you as long as you can do the same for him back if you can (i.e. cleaning the house, helping with work, you checking in on him every 30-45 minutes or so, giving him the touch that he needs, holding him, letting him cry on your shoulders, watch telenovelas with him, ect.)

Aaaaaand that's all folks!! Single dad representation!! Way to go, Dilf-Turo!! We honestly need more single dad representation in the media nowadays!! It's so hard to find things like single non-binary parents too! That's all I have to offer, so please take it as it is!!

With love,

PokeWriterGuy!

#pokemon #pokeblogging #pokeblr #headcanon #professor turo #my writing #pokemon scarlet and violet #Fluff #Fluff Alphabet #I've worked way to hard on this one

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year

Note

oooh now im intrigued… what part about percy’s character / actions did you not like? (in response to a previous ask you got)

i never really found anything that i disliked in percy but i did read the books a lot younger than i am now so i def didnt pick up on a lot of things

Hi isa! Before I say anything dumb, I just want you to know that I love you with everything in me and the fact that I left your ask in the mailbox for 7 months and a half does not negate that. I'm an awful terrible human being but my love is real. 🥺🥺

Ok. So. Obviously, I'm trying to justify myself here but like I've spent half a year marinating on this and seriously? this is really hard to tell. Not because I'm scared or anything, but more like I don't know how to word it the right way, and I fear I'd just dig myself a hole (ok, I'm scared).

If you're asking me, what part of Percy's character/actions I didn't like?, well the first and foremost would obviously be that time he strangled Nico. For the obvious reason.

Now, before anyone decides to come up to me with a Percy-defending speech, I'm NOT saying Percy's in the wrong (Well actually yes. They are BOTH wrong and they're BOTH justified - if you were to ask me, but that's another can of worms I don't want to open).

Percy did nothing wrong - no, he didn't - but I just so happen to love Nico di Angelo more than myself. And what Percy did that time displeased me - isa pls understand he hurt my blorbo 😭- of course I wouldn't think highly of him.

And that time Jason thought badly of Nico from hearing Percy's words.

And the fact that he's the reason Nico antagonized himself - which is TOTALLY NOT Percy's fault, I know - but I'm subjective.

(And that time in the birthday message board (wtf Percy?) - but that's new, so we'll just leave it there)

It's all there is about this, actually. The reason I dislike Percy is: I'm subjective, selfish, unreasonable, and hopelessly blinded when it comes to my love for the blorbos - in this case, Nico (and Luke, in some cases...). Did Percy do anything wrong? Debatable. But because Nico is my beloved son, so when it comes down to either Nico or Percy, I would always take Nico's side.

It's more like... a series of actions accumulated throughout the books that brought me to this point of prejudice, I guess... I've forgotten most of them, tbh, it's been a while, so I can hardly come up with specific details that spiked my disinterest. Just little things, I'm sure - but when all is said and done, he's the first character I just know I might as well stay away should I want to preserve my interest in the books themselves.

I'm sorry if this answer doesn't satisfy you, but this is all the coherent thoughts I can form about this... 😭

Another main reason why I can't bring myself to love Percy is, well technically not even his fault.

I don't like his perfection.

No, Percy isn't perfect. I'm talking about how Rick and the fandom tend to... perfect him?

As in: he's too OP. He's the protagonist, of course he's OP. And that's why I usually don't like protagonists. They're too perfect. Everything they do is right. They're praised and loved. Their sufferings were rewarded by glory and adoration. The fandom worships them. They are the best just because they happen to be in the spotlight.

It's like... a cage to me, I think? I prefer the conflictions, the paradox in which I'm free to expand my thoughts in various ways (again, Luke. and Octavian and Jason, for that matter). Percy is too much of a protagonist for me.

Besides, the fandom already loves Percy enough as it is, there's no harm if I don't, right? Is it jealousy? I honestly don't know. I just feel like I should be able to dislike someone just because I feel like it. I'm a creature of love and spite. I can hate just as easily as I love. It's not his fault, still there's no difference.

(Just in case you're wondering, But you do ship Percico? Yes, in fact, I don't hate the ship that much LOL. Pls don't ask why bc I don't know either... There're many times I enjoy Percy's humor, too!! And frankly? I don't know how you can categorize this, but the fact that I have a bunch of Break-Up fics planning to write and none of them is happy should say a lot about my taste for Percico in particular...)

That is to say, I try my best to be respectful when it comes to public fandom space. You would hardly see me badmouth Percy - or any character for that matter - because I tend to stay away from those for whom my tolerance is low. I'd hate it if I have to stir the pot, since I know there're people who love Percy more than themselves, too. There's no need to spoil others' fun.

Please, do understand that I'm NOT saying this to fault you for loving Percy. I'm saying this because I'm selfish, and my selfishness should only be mine to deal with, and that's absolutely NOT your fault nor Percy's fault for being disliked by someone petty like me.

With all due respect, cherish him. Love him the way I have come to love Nico. Because at the end of the day, they're not even real. We're all free to love and free to hate. Let us enjoy what we like best.

(and I'd always love you dear!!!)

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #percy hate #i dont even know if that tag exists i just feel like I should put it in there....#riordanverse

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toongrrl-blog · 8 months

Text

More Benvi Playlist

What are you doing just sitting there? Listen to some tunes at least ;)

"Let's Leave the Lights On Tonight" Johnny Rodriguez

We’ll let them old memories die

We’ll be just you and I

Somehow it all feels so right

2. "A Matter of Trust" Billy Joel

Let’s leave the lights on tonight

I'm sure you're aware, love

We've both had our share of

Believing too long

3. "Feels Like the First Time" Foreigner (also a Trenor song)

When the whole situation was wrong

And I know that it must be the woman in you

That brings out the man in me

I know I can't help myself

And it feels like the first time

You're all that my eyes can see

Like it never did before

Feels like the first time

Like we've opened up the door

Like it never will again

4. "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" Nina Simone or The Animals

Never again

Baby, do you understand me now

Sometimes I feel a little mad

Well, don't you know that no-one alive

Can always be an angel

5. "Torn Between Two Lovers" Mary MacGregor

When things go wrong I seem to be bad

Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool

Loving both of you is breaking all the rules

Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool

6. "Never Really Over" Katy Perry (suggested by @fishyyyyy99 )

Loving you both is breaking all the rules

Two years, and just like that, my head still takes me back

Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over

Oh, we were such a mess, but wasn't it the best?

7. "Hanging on the Telephone" Blondie

Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over

It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long

If I don't get your calls, then everything goes wrong

8. "Listen to Her Heart" Tom Petty

I want to tell you something you've known all along

She's my girl

And you just can't creep up behind her

And you can't understand that she's my girl

It's gonna tell her what to do

Yeah, she's gonna listen to her heart

She might need a lot of loving

But she don't need you

9. "Fools Rush In" Ricky Nelson

Just open up your heart and let this fool rush in.

Well, open up your heart and let this fool rush in...

10. "It's Now or Never" Elvis Presley

I spent a lifetime

Waiting for the right time

Now that you're near

The time is here, at last

It's now or never

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

11. "Act Naturally" Buck Owens or the Beatles or Buck Owens w/ Ringo Starr

Well, I hope you come to see me in the movie

Then I know that you will plainly see

The biggest fool that's ever hit the big time

And all I gotta do is act naturally

12. "Queen of Hearts" Juice Newton

Playing with the queen of hearts, and knowing it ain't really smart

The joker ain't the only fool who'll do anything for you

I'm laying out another lie, I'm thinking 'bout a life of crime

'Cause that's what I'll have to do to keep me away from you

13. "Send Me No Flowers" Doris Day

Call me up and say that you're on your way

Til you're back how lonely I'll be

Send me no flowers today

Instead of sending flowers come back to me

And love me just as I love you

14. "Time Won't Let Me" The Outsiders

Can't you see I've waited too long to love you

To hold you in my arms

Time won't let me

Time won't let me aw

15. "Head Over Heels" Tears for Fears

I wanted to be with you alone

And talk about the weather

But traditions I can trace against the child in your face

Won't escape my attention

You keep your distance with a system of touch

And gentle persuasion

I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?

Oh, you're wasting my time

You're just, just, just wasting time

Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out till I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart

Don't, don't, don't throw it away

16. "Just What I Needed" The Cars

I guess you're just what I needed

(Just what I needed)

I needed someone to feed

I guess you're just what I needed

(Just what I needed)

I needed someone to bleed

17. "What Is Life?" George Harrison

What is my life without your love?

Tell me who am I without you by my side

Oh, tell me what is my life without your love

Tell me who am I

18. "Hello It's Me" Todd Rundgren

Think of me

You know that I'd be with you if I could

I'll come around to see you once in a while

Or if I ever need a reason to smile

And spend the night if you think I should

19. "All This Time It Was You" Ginger Foutley

You were right there from the start

And what might be the strangest part

Is while I sure enjoyed the view

Of seeing everything brand new

It's still you

20. "Words" F.R. David

Words don't come easy to me

How can I find a way to make you see I love you

Words don't come easy

Words don't come easy to me

This is the only way for me to say I love you

Words don't come easy

21. "Sway" The Kooks

Still I need your sway, because you always pay for it

And I, and I need your soul

Because your always soulful

And I and I need your heart,

Because your always in the right places

22. "Stay Awhile" Dusty Springfield or She & Him

Oh, I hate to see you go

Tell you what I'll do

I'll be good to you

I'll make you glad that you are mine

So come on baby

23. "Hysteria" Def Leppard

I gotta know tonight

If you're alone tonight

Can't stop this feelin'

Can't stop this fire

24. "Slowly" Ann-Margret

Come on and kiss me again but this time slowly

Not so fast, make it last, you're talking too fast

Honey make it last, oh, not so fast, yeah

25. "I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden" Lynn Anderson

I beg your pardon

I never promised you a rose garden

Along with the sunshine

There's gotta be a little rain sometime

When you take you gotta give so live and let live or let go

26. "Baby I Need Your Loving" The Four Tops

Empty nights echo your name

Whoa, sometimes I wonder

Will I ever be the same?

27. "The More I See You" Chris Montez

The more I see you, the more I want you

Somehow this feeling just grows and grows

With every sigh, I become more mad about you

More lost without you and so it goes

28. "Expressway to Your Heart" Soul Survivors

I was wrong, baby, I took too long

I got caught in the rush hour

A fellow started to shower

You with love and affection

Come on, look in my direction

29. "Here It Comes Again" The Fortunes

Then there's nothing left for me to say

You no, you no, you no you broke my heart

Here it comes again, that feeling

Here it comes again

30. "Rhaspody in the Rain" Lou Christie

And in this car our love went much too far

It was exciting as thunder

Tonight I wonder where you are

The windshield wipers seemed to say

"Together - together - together - together"

And now they are saying

"Oh, ne... ver, ne... ver"

Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, baby

31. "I Saw the Light" Todd Rundgren

Though we had our fling (we had our fling)

I just never would suspect a thing (suspect a thing)

'Til that little bell began to ring (began to ring)

In my head, in my head

But I tried to run (I tried to run)

Though I knew it wouldn't help me none (not help me none)

'Cause I couldn't ever love no one

Or so I said

But my feelings for you

Were just something I never knew

'Til I saw the light

In your eyes (in your eyes)

32. "Party Lights" Claudine Clark

Too late and mama dear, oh tell me, do you hear?

We're partying tonight

I tell you, I can't sleep, because across the street

Oh-oh, oh-oh, I see the party lights

33. "She's Got the Devil in Her Heart" The Beatles (Susan J. Douglas thoughts on this song's meaning was "just how long were we going to behave ourselves, anyway, especially when behaving yourself as a girl meant not having any fun?")

I'll take my chances

For romance is

So important to me

She'll never hurt me

She won't desert me

She's an angel sent to me

She's got the devil in her heart

No, no, this I can't believe

She's gonna tear your heart apart

No, no, nay, will she deceive

34. "The Hard Way" Mary Chapin Carpenter

Show a little inspiration, show a little spark

And show that things that drew me to you and stole my heart

And tell me something I don't know instead of everything I do

And look at me as if I mean something to you

Our hearts are beating while we sleep, but while we're wide awake

You know the world won't stop, and actions speak louder

Listen to your heart, and what your heart might say

Everything we got, we got the hard way

35. "Big Shot" Billy Joel

Because you had to be a big shot, didn't you

You had to open up your mouth

You had to be a big shot, didn't you

All your friends were so knocked out

You had to have the last word, last night

You know what everything's about

You had to have a white hot spotlight

You had to be a big shot last night

#1990s music #1980s music #1970s music #1960s music #1950s music #2010s music #never have i ever #benvi #devi x ben

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