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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years

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Movies I watched in May

Sadly, I kind of skipped writing a post for April. It was a mad month with so much going on: lots of emails sent and lots of stress. I started a new job so I’m getting to grips with that... and even then, I still watched a bunch of movies. But this is about what I watched in May and, yeah… still a bunch. So if you’re looking to get into some other movies - possibly some you’ve thought about watching but didn’t know what they were like, or maybe like the look of something you’ve never heard of - then this may help! So here’s every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of May 2021 Tenet (2020) - 8/10 This was my third time watching Christopher Nolan’s most Christopher Nolan movie ever and it makes no sense but I still love it. The spectacle of it all is truly like nothing I’ve ever seen. I had also watched it four days prior to this watch also, only this time I had enabled audio description for the visually impaired, thinking it would make it funny… It didn’t.

Nomadland (2020) - 6/10 Chloé Zhao’s new movie got a lot of awards attention. Everyone was hyped for this and when it got put out on Disney+ I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing these real nomads certainly gave the film an authenticity, along with McDormand’s ever-praisable acting. But generally I found it quite underwhelming and lacking a lot in its pacing. Nomadland surely has its moments of captivating cinematography and enticing commentary on the culture of these people, but it felt like it went on forever without any kind of forward direction or goal. The Prince of Egypt (1998) - 6/10 I reviewed this on my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. For what it is, it’s pretty fun but nowhere near as good as some of the best DreamWorks movies.

Chinatown (1974) - 8/10 What a fantastic and wonderfully unpredictable mystery crime film! I regret to say I’ve not seen many Jack Nicholson performances but he steals the show. Despite Polanski’s infamy, it’d be a lie to claim this wasn’t truly masterful. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Admittedly I was half asleep as I curled up on the sofa to watch this again on a whim. I watched this with someone who demanded the dubbed version over the subtitled version and while I objected heavily, I knew I’d seen the movie before so it didn’t matter too much. That person also fell asleep about 20 minutes in, so how pointless an argument it was. Howl’s Moving Castle boasts superb animation, the likes of which I’ve only come to expect of Miyazaki. The story is so unique and the colours are absolutely gorgeous. This may not be my favourite from the legendary director but there’s no denying its splendour.

Bāhubali: The Beginning (2015) - 3/10 The next morning I watched some absolute trash. This crazy, over the top Indian movie is hilarious and I could perhaps recommend it if it weren’t so long. That being said, Bāhubali was not a dumpster fire; it has a lot of good-looking visual effects and it’s easy to see the ambition for this epic story, it just doesn’t come together. There’s fun to be had with how the main character is basically the strongest man in the world and yet still comes across as just a lucky dumbass, along with all the dancing that makes no sense but is still entertaining to watch. Seven Samurai (1954) - 10/10 If it wasn’t obvious already, Seven Samurai is a masterpiece. I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, so more thoughts can be found there. Red Road (2006) - 6/10 Another recommendation on episode 30 of the podcast. Red Road really captures the authentic British working class experience. Before Sunrise (1995) - 10/10 One of the best romances put to film. The first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy is undoubtedly my favourite, despite its counterparts being almost equally as good. It tells the story of a young couple travelling through Europe, who happen to meet on a train and spend the day together. It is gloriously shot on location in Vienna and features some of the most interesting dialogue I’ve ever seen put to film. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Tokyo Story (1953) - 9/10 This Japanese classic - along with being visually and sonically masterful - is a lot about appreciating the people in your life and taking the time to show them that you love them. It’s about knowing it’s never too late to rekindle old relationships if you truly want to, which is something I’ve been able to relate to in recent years. It broke my heart in two. Tokyo Story will make you want to call your mother. Before Sunset (2004) - 10/10 Almost a decade after Sunrise, Sunset carries a sombre yet relieving feeling. Again, the performances from Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke take me away, evoking nostalgic feelings as they stroll through the contemporary Parisian streets. There is no regret in me for buying the Criterion blu-ray boxset for this trilogy. Before Midnight (2013) - 10/10 Here, Linklater cements this trilogy as one of the best in film history. It’s certainly not the ending I expected, yet it’s an ending I appreciate endlessly. Because it doesn’t really end. Midnight shows the troubling times of a strained relationship; one that has endured so long and despite initially feeling almost dreamlike in how idealistically that first encounter was portrayed, the cracks appear as the film forces you to come to terms with the fact that fairy-tale romances just don’t exist. Relationships require effort and sacrifice and sometimes the ones that truly work are those that endure through all the rough patches to emerge stronger. The Holy Mountain (1973) - 10/10 Jodorowsky’s masterpiece is absolute insanity. I talked more about it on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10 Another watch for Grand Budapest because I bought the Criterion blu-ray. As unalterably perfect as ever. Blue Jay (2016) - 6/10 Rather good up to a point. My co-hosts and I did not agree on how good this movie was, which is a discussion you can listen to on my podcast. Shadow and Bone: The Afterparty (2021) - 3/10 For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed the first season of Shadow and Bone, which is why I wanted to see what ‘The Afterparty’ was about. This could have been a lot better and much less annoying if all those terrible comedians weren’t hosting and telling bad jokes. I don’t want to see Fortune Feimster attempt to tell a joke about oiling her body as the cast of the show sit awkwardly in their homes over Zoom. If it had simply been a half hour, 45 minute chat with the cast and crew about how they made the show and their thoughts on it, a lot of embarrassment and time-wasting could have been spared. Wadjda (2012) - 6/10 Another recommendation discussed at length on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Wadjda was pretty interesting from a cultural perspective but largely familiar in terms of story structure.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - 2/10 A truly terrible movie with maybe one or two scenes that stop it from being a complete catastrophe. Tom Green tried to create something that almost holds a middle finger to everyone who watches it and to some that could be a fun experience, but to me it just came across as utterly irritating. It’s simply a bunch of scenes threaded together with an incredibly loose plot. He wears the skin of a dead deer, smacks a disabled woman over and over again on the legs to turn her on, and he swings a newborn baby around a hospital room by its umbilical cord (that part was actually pretty funny). I cannot believe I watched this again, although I think I repressed a lot of it since having seen it for the first time around five years ago. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - (2011) I have to say, these movies seem to get better with each instalment. They’re still not very good though. That being said, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve watched each of the Twilight movies at this point. This time around, I watched Breaking Dawn - Part 1 with a YMS commentary track on YouTube and that made the experience a lot more entertaining. Otherwise, this film is super dumb but pretty entertaining. I would recommend watching these movies with friends. Solaris (1972) - 8/10 Andrei Tarkovsky’s grand sci-fi epic about the emotional crises of a crew on the space station orbiting the fictional planet Solaris is much as strange and creepy as you might expect from the master Russian auter. I had wanted to watch this for a while so I bought the Criterion blu-ray and it’s just stunning. It’s clear to see the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspiration but Solaris is quite a different beast entirely. Jaws (1975) - 4/10 I really tried to get into this classic movie, but Jaws exhibits basically everything I don’t like about Steven Spielberg’s directing. For sure, the effects are crazily good but the story itself is poorly handled and largely uninteresting. It was just a massive slog to get through.

Darkman (1990) - 6/10 Sam Raimi’s superhero movie is so much fun, albeit massively stupid. Further discussion on Darkman can be found on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995) - 1/10 Abysmal. I forgot the movie as I watched it. This was part of a marathon my friends and I did for episode 32 of our podcast. Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) - 1/10 Perhaps this trilogy is not so great after all. Only marginally better than Darkman II but still pretty terrible. More thoughts on episode 32 of my podcast. F For Fake (1973) - 8/10 Rewatching this proved to be a worthwhile decision. Albeit slightly boring, there’s no denying how crazy the story of this documentary about art forgers is. The standout however, is the director himself. Orson Welles makes a lot of this film about himself and how hot his girlfriend is and it is hilarious.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines (2021) - 4/10 More style over substance, Sony’s new animated adventure wants so much to be in trend with the current internet culture but it simply doesn’t understand what it’s emulating. There’s a nyan cat reference, for crying out loud. For every joke that works, there are about ten more that do not and were it not for the wonderful animation, it simply wouldn’t be getting so much praise. Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10 The first movie I’ve seen in a cinema since 2020 and damn it was good to be back! I’ve already reviewed Taxi Driver in my March wrap-up but seeing it in the cinema was a real treat. Irreversible (2002) - 8/10 One of the most viscerally horrendous experiences I’ve ever had while watching a movie. I cannot believe a friend of mine gave me the DVD to watch. More thoughts on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Don’t watch it with the family. The Golden Compass (2007) - 1/10 I had no recollection of this being as bad as it is. The Golden Compass is the definition of a factory mandated movie. Nothing it does on its own is worth any kind of merit. I would say, if you wanted an experience like what this tries to communicate, a better option by far is the BBC series, His Dark Materials. More of my thoughts can be found in the review I wrote on Letterboxd.

Antichrist (2009) - 8/10 Lars von Trier is nothing if not provocative and I can understand why someone would not like Antichrist, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. After watching it, I wrote a slightly disjointed summary of my interpretations of this highly metaphorical movie in the group chat, so fair warning for a bit of spoilers and graphic descriptions: It's like, the patriarchy, man! Oppression! Men are the rational thinkers with big brains and the women just cry and be emotional. So she's seen as crazy when she's smashing his cock and driving a drill through his leg to keep him weighted down. Like, how does he like it, ya know? So then she mutilates herself like she did with him and now they're both wounded, but the animals crowd around her (and the crow that he couldn't kill because it's Mother nature, not Father nature, duh). Then he kills her, even though she could've killed him loads of times but didn't. So it's like "haha big win for the man who was subjected to such horrific torture. Victory!" And then all the women with no faces come out of the woods because it's like a constant cycle. Manchester By The Sea (2016) - 6/10 Great performances in this super sad movie. I can’t say I got too much out of it though. Roar (1981) - 9/10 Watching Roar again was still as terrifying an experience as the first time. If you want to watch something that’s loose on plot with poor acting but with real big cats getting in the way of production and physically attacking people, look no further. This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen because it’s all basically real. Cannot recommend it enough. Eyes Without A Face (1960) - 8/10 I’m glad I checked this old French movie out again. There’s a lot to marvel at in so many aspects, what with the premise itself - a mad surgeon taking the faces from unsuspecting women and transplanting them onto another - being incredibly unique for the time. Short, sweet and entertaining!

Se7en (1995) - 10/10 The first in a David Fincher marathon we did for The Sunday Movie Marathon, episode 33. Zodiac (2007) - 10/10 Second in the marathon, as it was getting late, we decided to watch half that evening and the last half on the following evening. Zodiac is a brilliant movie and you can hear more of my thoughts on the podcast (though I apologise; my audio is not the best in this episode). Gone Girl (2014) - 10/10 My favourite Fincher movie. More insights into this masterpiece in episode 33 of the podcast. Friends: The Reunion (2021) - 6/10 It was heartwarming to see the old actors for this great show together again. I talked about the Friends reunion film at length in episode 33 of my podcast.

Wolfwalkers (2020) - 10/10 I reviewed this in an earlier post but would like to reiterate just how wonderful Wolfwalkers is. If you get the chance, please see it in the cinema. I couldn’t stop crying from how beautiful it was. Raya and The Last Dragon (2021) - 6/10 After watching Wolfwalkers, I decided I didn’t want to go home. So I had lunch in town and booked a ticket for Disney’s Raya and The Last Dragon. A child was coughing directly behind me the entire time. Again, I reviewed this in an earlier post but generally it was decent but I have so many problems with the execution. The Princess Bride (1987) - 9/10 Clearly I underrated this the last time I watched it. The Princess Bride is warm and hilarious with some delightfully memorable characters. A real classic!

The Invisible Kid (1988) - 1/10 About as good as you’d expect a movie with that name to be, The Invisible Kid was a pick for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 34. Babel (2006) - 9/10 The same night that I watched The Invisible Kid, I watched a masterful and dour drama from the director of Birdman and The Revenant. Babel calls back to an earlier movie of Iñárritu’s, called Amores Perros and as I was informed while we watched this for the podcast, it turns out Babel is part of a trilogy alongside the aforementioned film. More thoughts in episode 34 of the podcast. Snake Eyes (1998) - 1/10 After feeling thoroughly emotionally wiped out after Babel, we immediately watched another recommendation for the podcast: Snake Eyes, starring Nicolas Cage. This was a truly underwhelming experience and for more of a breakdown into what makes this movie so bad, you can listen to us talk about it on the podcast.

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rovelae · 3 years

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Behind the Scenes of “Hologram”

Today marks exactly one year since I posted arguably my most popular fic. “Hologram” is a postgame Saiouma one-shot about escapism, loneliness, and running away from the past. I put a lot of myself into this fic and I’m blown away by all the love it’s received, not only on AO3 but in Discord servers and other social media. All that excitement made me keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d share a (very self-indulgent) behind-the-scenes of sorts about how I wrote it, as well as what I think of the story.

This essay will contain spoilers for the whole fic, so if you’d like to read it first, you can find it here. Of course, if the tags scare you off, that’s valid, but you might want to skip this post too since I’ll be quoting it throughout (so, just to be safe, expect the warnings I’ve posted on AO3 to apply here too).

If you’re a Lorde fan you’ll recognize the lyrics in the fic summary – “Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true,” from “Buzzcut Season.” The inspiration for this fic came to me while I was on my way to an early shift at work, and I needed a good song in my head to give me the will to live for the next eight hours. Not sure why I chose that song in particular, but maybe part of it is because I like imagining stories to go along with the songs I listen to, like AMVs playing in my head, and I’d never been able to pin down exactly what this song reminded me of.

The mood of the music is really what compelled me – there’s something lonely about it, and the lyrics sound like the singer’s trying to convince herself that everything’s okay even when all evidence points otherwise. There are “explosions on TV”, and “The men up on the news / They try to tell us all that we will lose,” but “we live beside the pool / Where everything is good.” Despite everything going wrong, despite the notes of fear creeping into the pre-chorus, the character will “play along… in a hologram with you” and “never go home again.”

From there, it was an easy jump to “postgame Saiou” and that was that.

There’s a cloud of seagulls hovering in the air around him, and a dozen or so more standing just out of reach, staring him down with beady black eyes. Kokichi takes a slice of bread from the loaf he’s holding and tosses it to one of the birds, watches it catch it and stumble under the weight, watches its head bob as it tries to swallow the whole thing at once. It gets remarkably far before four other birds descend on it, shrieking wildly.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he mumbles into his folded arms, wondering if Shuichi would get the reference.

He really wishes Shuichi was here.

Kokichi upends the rest of the loaf of bread onto the sidewalk and laughs at the resulting chaos until his chest aches.

To start off, I wanted to create the same lonely mood from “Buzzcut Season” in Kokichi’s simulation. He’s not exactly trapped there, but he’s refusing to leave, because as long as he’s on the fake Jabberwock Island, he can pretend the killing game never happened. The trade-off to that escapism is that the only people he can talk to are the NPCs, who aren’t complex enough to be remotely interesting to him, and Usami, who… well, tries her best, but is more of an informational / moderation program and can’t offer him what a therapist could.

The only thing Kokichi has to look forward to is Shuichi, who he’s convinced is an extremely lifelike computer program rather than the real thing, because the real Shuichi would definitely hate him for everything that happened during the killing game. He’s so locked into this line of logic that he doesn’t let himself consider that Shuichi has forgiven him – he doesn’t even have a good answer for why the Future Foundation wouldn’t just keep the supposed Shuichi AI on indefinitely, believing it’s their way of baiting him into leaving the simulation.

It’s not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle in the slightest, but Kokichi stubbornly refuses to do anything but wander the islands aimlessly, passing the time with ice cream and feeding seagulls until the next time he can see Shuichi.

He dreams that DICE is here in the simulation with him, smiling and carefree as they explore the weird music venue. One of them has gotten the karaoke machine working, and another found a box of kazoos and maracas in the back room. Kokichi already pities anyone unfortunate enough to walk by the building tonight.

“Not going to sing, Joker?” one of his DICE asks (over the sound of their youngest member shrieking through seven kazoos at once), sitting on the bench next to him.

“Some games are more fun to watch than play,” he answers, leaning back on his hands and sighing.

“Like a killing game.”

The warm dream-atmosphere turns cold then, and Kokichi’s head snaps over to look at him—but his brother is gone and Kaito’s looking back at him instead, blood in his teeth and face ashen pale.

“You... we don’t have to do this, man,” Kaito says, but it’s a lie and they both know it, and he doesn’t want to look behind him because he knows the machine’s looming over him with its unyielding steel and slow slow slow descent—

“You’re not real,” he snaps at dream-Kaito, who doesn’t respond except to lift him up again. “Nothing’s real, none of—PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! DON’T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!”

“Death is more mercy than you deserve,” Kaito says, and Kokichi claws and bites and kicks his way out of Kaito’s grasp like a wild animal, only to end up in front of a prison cell full of—

DICE, his beloved DICE, trapped and hurt and afraid, bloodied and beaten and helpless.

“Why didn’t you save us, boss?” says his second-in-command, clutching the bars with bleeding hands. “Why didn’t you do more? Now we’re all dead and it’s because of you.”

Moments like this are my reference to Buzzcut Season’s pre-chorus, where the not-okay starts to creep into the illusion. Despite Kokichi’s valiant efforts to forget, he’s still dealing with the aftermath of seeing his family hurt and in danger, watching his friends die, orchestrating the deaths of two of them, being killed himself— and then being told every bit of it was made up to entertain an audience who sees nothing wrong with that picture. Running away is not the way to heal from trauma, and one day soon it’s all bound to come crashing down around him.

“Do you know what this … island paradise represents, Kokichi?” [Hinata] asks, and Kokichi’s really not in the mood for a lecture but he continues anyway. “Jabberwock Island … was the setting for the fiftieth season of Danganronpa. The golden anniversary, they called it. It was my season.”

Kokichi hunches over, hugging his arms over his torso and stifiling a scream. He does not want to think about this right now—

“They wanted it to be the best season of all, which, unfortunately for us, meant it was also the bloodiest,” Hinata says. “Twice as many participants, deadly traps hidden across each of the islands— they even changed the way the motives worked, like when they told Fuyuhiko to cut out his own eye so Peko could have a quick death instead of suffering for days.”

“Do I look like your therapist, porcupine-head?” Kokichi hisses. A sharp pain is pounding into his skull, and there’s a bitter, metallic taste at the back of his throat. A taste like poison and blood.

“There was so much going on that the simulation malfunctioned,” Hinata says. “When people died, their Ultimate talents downloaded themselves into me. I’m told that the stress of so many personality grafts came close to liquefying my frontal lobe. I’m lucky I woke up at all… especially considering more than half of the others didn’t.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Kokichi grates out through the static building in his head. If he opens his eyes, will he see the beach or the dull chrome of the machine closing in on him?

“Because I know how much you want to forget about what happened,” Hinata says. “Believe me, I get it.”

….

“These things that happened to us… we can’t erase them, no matter how much we want to. Some things have to be remembered.”

I’d mostly like to leave Hajime’s season up to interpretation, but there are a couple things I wanted to say about it. I imagine Danganronpa is like the Hunger Games in that it’d go all out for big anniversaries. So, there were twice as many participants for the Jabberwock Island beatdown that was probably subtitled “Bloodbath Bay” or something equally appealing. The game’s formula changed from a focus on the mystery and the trials to “look at all these kids massacring each other a la Lord of the Flies,” and since the VR system wasn’t equipped to handle that many people and their deaths, it malfunctioned, giving Hajime way too many Ultimate talents and putting half the cast into comas from which they never woke up.

Viewers either absolutely loved or absolutely hated this season, depending on whether they were DR fans because of the “blood n’ guts” factor or the “mystery and psychological thriller” aspect. Team Danganronpa faced quite a bit of backlash for actually causing the real-life deaths of half its participants, but were able to weasel their way out of serious legal repercussions because of the waivers the participants had signed beforehand (plus a lot of bribery and falling back on their longstanding popularity). So, the cast of Season 50 failed to end the killing game, but helped provide great evidence for the “Danganronpa is morally wrong” argument.

Hajime works as a victim liaison for the Future Foundation and has been trying to take down Danganronpa since he got out of it. He’s like that in a few of my fics, actually; I like the idea of Hajime acting as a big brother of sorts to the V3 cast. It’s especially entertaining to imagine his interactions with Kokichi— though maybe not so much in Hologram, since to Kokichi he’s a representation of the past he’s trying so desperately to forget and the future he refuses to acknowledge.

“SHUT UP!” He launches himself at Hinata, his hands wrapping around the other man’s throat as he uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. “SHUT! UP!”

“Ko— ghk—” Hinata coughs, eyes wide with surprise, but aside from moving his hands up to grip Kokichi’s wrists, he doesn’t seem all that worried about fighting back.

The thought only fuels Kokichi’s rage until he’s choking Hinata so hard his knuckles are white. “If you want me out of this simulation so badly, you can kill me,” he snarls. “I’m never waking up! I’m never leaving, do you UNDERSTAND ME?”

Hinata grimaces, the outline of his avatar flickering, but he still doesn’t struggle, and Kokichi hates him all the more for it, despises him with a seething malice that festers low in his stomach. He wonders distantly if he’d actually kill this man in real life. Or if he’d be able to stop himself, feeling like this.

Kokichi’s breakdown here is more out of fear than anger. Like I mentioned, Kokichi sees Hajime as another piece of what’s hurt him, and no matter how Hajime tries to help, Kokichi will always remember Danganronpa whenever he sees him.

Warm yellow-orange light casts a relaxed, cozy glow over the dining hall. It’s an ambience compounded by the flickering candles on the table, which seems overly idyllic, but Kokichi will let it slide because of the adorable way Shuichi flushed when he noticed them as they sat down. Well, if he’s being honest, everything about Shuichi right now is adorable, from the way his hair keeps falling into his eyes to the way he’s nervously fiddling wth his chopsticks. Kokichi wishes he could keep staring at him forever.

Ah, not… not in a weird way, though, just… because Shuichi’s beautiful, and when Kokichi looks at him he can forget everything bad that’s ever happened, can create some new and brighter world to exist in.

This is an idea I wish I’d had room to explore a bit more in the story— that is, just how far Kokichi will go to pretend everything’s fine. I thought about making him border on delusional, like having him talk to people who aren’t there or forget what’s actually happening around him because he’s so lost in his fiction-within-a-fiction. It would have creeped Shuichi out a whole lot.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much room for that past the plot I’d already nailed down, so I focused on his loneliness and escapism instead. I do touch on it later in this scene, though— the couple paragraphs where he slips into fantasizing about being a phantom thief having a surreptitious meeting with his detective under the not-so-subtle supervision of his DICE. There would have been a lot more of that if I’d gone with the ‘delusion’ stylistic choice, to the point where even the readers would be confused about what’s real. Maybe I’ll look into writing something similar in a future story.

Eventually, Shuichi sets down his bowl and looks away with a little sigh, and Kokichi clenches his teeth because that’s the sigh he does when it’s time for that conversation.

“Um… Kokichi?”

Kokichi’s only response is to exhale the breath he’d been holding in a quiet hiss.

“I-I know you don’t want to, but… but I really need to talk to you about something,” Shuichi says. “Please?”

“My Mr. Detective can talk about whatever he’d like!” Kokichi says with a lilt to his tone that makes it sound more sarcastic than he wants it to. He takes the last bite of curry and wishes that it burns hot enough to hurt.

“It’s about Kaito.”

This more serious part of the date scene is meant to reflect the little bridge in “Buzzcut Season”:

“Cola with the burnt-out taste

I’m the one you tell your fears to

There’ll never be enough of us.”

It’s a part of the song that sounds especially bittersweet to me, a bit of self-awareness between the insistence that everything’s okay.

Really all I think I managed was to reference it when Kokichi’s internal dialogue comments on his drink being “so sweet it tastes burnt” and then later not tasting like anything. But hopefully the mood’s still there.

“Tell him… that I have nothing against him,” he says.

“That’s … not a lie?” Shuichi presses.

Kokichi shakes his head idly, still not raising his gaze. “I wanted to wreck the killing game and he wanted to save his friend. We both got what we wanted. I’d say the end more than justifies the means.”

Was that a lie?

(I don’t want to die Shuichi I’m sorry I’m sorry save me Shuichi please I’m sorry ithurtsmakeitstop—)

His fingers tighten into clawlike shapes, nails digging sharply into his forearms.

I really don’t think Kokichi would have anything against Kaito, even if here he’s not being completely honest with how much he’s affected by what happened. It wouldn’t make sense to him to hate Kaito for something he himself proposed, but I think there’d still be a subconscious barrier between them. Too much history.

“Don’t go, Shuichi, I’m so sorry, I— that was so dumb, what I said, please don’t be sad anymore.” He’s not sure if he can’t breathe because of the exertion of running or because of the hysteria boiling over in his head. “Please don’t go, I didn’t mean to hurt you— please don’t leave, Shuichi, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Kokichi….” Shuichi’s tone is strange, soft and pitying, like he sees something Kokichi doesn’t, and he shakes his head slowly as more tears follow the paths of the others.

Kokichi goes to his knees, ready to grovel if that’s what it takes, but Shuichi follows him down, closing his other hand over Kokichi’s, and then they’re both crying and he doesn’t know why, and all he can do is repeat a mantra of I’m sorry and hold on as tight as he can.

It’s horrible. Shuichi’s horrible. Shuichi’s wonderful, and kind and lovely and perfect and Kokichi hates him, Kokichi adores him, and it doesn’t matter because Shuichi’s not actually here but Kokichi doesn’t want to be alone, just let me pretend some more, please, please let me have this—

“I’ll… I’ll stay,” Shuichi says at last. “I can stay a while longer.”

You shouldn’t, Kokichi wants to say, but his mouth won’t obey him. You shouldn’t stay if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve having you here. I’m not worth your mercy.

But there on the bridge, crying tears of relief, he soaks up as much mercy as he can get and hopes it’s enough to drown him.

I wanted to create a contrast between them that highlights just how the isolation and trauma Kokichi’s experiencing has affected him. He has an almost unhealthy reliance on Shuichi as “the only thing that makes this world bearable,” and panics when faced with the prospect of being alone again so soon. Part of why Shuichi’s crying is because he’s realized the extent of Kokichi’s desperation. It’s not that he thinks Kokichi’s apology is insincere, but that he’s hardly heard him apologize for anything before, so Kokichi going this far has him realizing how bad things really are.

The door rumbles and slides open when they approach, revealing the bright light of the log-out point that took Shuichi away every time, that would wake Kokichi up in his real body if he walked into it. Shuichi stops just a step away from it, biting his lip as if searching for something to say, but before he can find it, Kokichi reaches out to tug at his sleeve.

“Shuichi?” he says, distant as the waves on the beach that he can still hear if he listens closely enough. Shuichi turns back toward him. “Before you go, can I be selfish one more time?”

“Huh…?”

Shuichi doesn’t move when Kokichi steps closer, reaches up to ghost his fingertips over Shuichi’s jaw and around the back of his neck. He lets Kokichi tilt his head downward, lets him hover inches away, close enough to feel their breath mingle in the night air. Kokichi pauses there to give him the chance to pull away. He doesn’t.

So Kokichi closes his eyes and the distance between them.

That last line is a ZEUGMA! It’s a literary device where one word refers to two more in a different way. A popular example is the hyenas’ line “Our teeth and ambitions are bared” from The Lion King. It’s my favorite grammatical trick and I’d love to see more of it in fanfic.

Slowly, he slides his hand down to Shuichi’s shoulder, using it as leverage to push himself away. That hurts even more. He can’t seem to open his eyes, and he feels so weakened, breathless, fragile. Cracked open, hollowed out.

When he finally does open his eyes, Shuichi’s are wide with some mix of astonishment and a dozen other emotions. Kokichi bows his head, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just wanted to know.”

“Kokichi,” Shuichi breathes, like a bullet through his heart.

“Goodbye, Shuichi,” Kokichi says, and shoves him into the light.

Shuichi’s little yelp of surprise cuts off abruptly as he falls through the door, vanishing into the glow, and all too soon, Kokichi’s alone again in a dream that suddenly seems far too vast. Alone, with the faintest taste of Shuichi’s lips still lingering on his own.

And he thinks, It was enough just to know you.

It’s a lie.

Nothing to say here except that this is my favorite scene and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

Fake sun rises over fake ocean, fake seagulls glide through fake sky while fake wind tousles fake palm fronds. Kokichi lies on his stomach in the fake grass and talks to his fake family in the fake notebook. Gives them fake names and runs through everything he remembers about them. Apologizes, over and over, wishes he could hug each of them goodbye one last time. Wonders if it would be more painful to die or to never have existed at all.

He leaves the notebook of his memories on the seat of one of the Ferris wheel cars on the fourth island, because one time he promised them they’d steal the London Eye together.

He buys a can of fake soda from the fake convenience store on the first island and sits on the fake beach watching the fake waves. Wonders when he’d hit the end of the simulation if he started swimming, or if he’d drown first.

White sand, blue sea, bluer sky. Washed out, like an amateur watercolor painting.

He opens the soda can and raises it to his mouth, but … even the thought of drinking it makes him sick to his stomach. He sets it down in the sand and flicks it over, watching the bubbly liquid run down and sink into the sand. The color’s all wrong, like blood streaked against a metal floor.

He walks the fake streets of the fifth island, passing fake skyscrapers and fake commuters and their fake conversations, until he finally stops outside the factory he’s never been able to bring himself to go into. Smells like oil, and metal and machines and he can hear the sounds and he’s immediately back in the hangar, dizzy on adrenaline and desperation and leaning heavily on Kaito so he doesn’t keel over and die then and there. Kaito says something about how maybe he should sit down for a minute, and Kokichi didn’t agree back then but he does now, goes down on all fours and dry heaves.

When his vision solidifies and he can stop gasping for breath, he sits up and presses his back against the factory wall, covering his ears and hiding his face in his knees. Tries to convince himself not to imagine Shuichi’s there with him, holding his hand again, promising everything’s going to be okay.

“I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” or maybe, “Breathe with me, it’ll be over soon. You’re safe now.”

I love you.

He laughs until there’s nothing left in his lungs. He called these little daydreams obsession, before, but now they just seem sick and insane.

I wanted to indicate throughout this scene that Kokichi’s gotten substantially worse. Instead of halfheartedly interacting with the NPCs or finding something to spend time doing, he’s aimlessly wandering the islands, focused on how fake all of it is. Not even talking to his sketches of DICE can make him feel better. The suicidal ideation starts to slip in even if he doesn’t realize it— a fixation on wondering what death is like, purposefully triggering himself by walking by the factory….

The thing I want to talk about most though is the italicized I love you. I left it outside of quotation marks and dialogue tags on purpose because I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who’s saying it. If it’s Kokichi’s line, it’s sudden and almost out of place, like he couldn’t hold back from thinking it anymore. But it could be Shuichi saying it, too. Since it’s outside quotation marks, unlike the previous dream-Shuichi lines, it’s more vague, almost a whisper in Kokichi’s thoughts— like he can barely bring himself to imagine it and even feels guilty doing so, because there’s no way it could possibly be real.

Which do you think?

Eh, I don’t have an answer. When I hear it in my head, they say it at the same time.

“How did you know?” he finally croaks.

Shuichi’s breathing still sounds shaky, too. “Because you said ‘goodbye,’” he says.

Kokichi finally looks up at him in a silent question.

“You never say goodbye,” Shuichi says, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “It’s always….”

“‘See you later,’” Kokichi finishes for him. Despite himself, a tiny huff of astonished laughter escapes him. “I didn’t even know, not until a couple of hours ago. And you figured it all out from one word?”

Shuichi bites his lip at that. “You kissed me,” he says.

Kokichi’s stomach twists and he looks away. “I said I was sorry—”

“No.” Shuichi squeezes his hand into a fist and lets it fall to thump against Kokichi’s chest, like he’s trying to knock some sense into him. “It was so honest, and vulnerable, and… and I know how much you hate showing how you really feel.” Another tiny sob catches in his throat. “And so it felt like … like something you’d do if you weren’t going to s-see me again.”

“Shuichi….” Kokichi trails off as Shuichi muffles his cries in his hand again. He’s so breathtakingly smart. There’s no one else in the world who thinks that way, no one else who could possibly be that attentive and that clever. Not a programmer, not a team of shrinks… how can an AI manage it? How is it that Shuichi always manages to take him by surprise? How can he see straight through him when he least expects it?

Kokichi’s hand reaches up to Shuichi’s cheek. Reverently traces the path of the tears falling down it.

“I wish you were real,” he confesses in a whisper.

Kokichi’s stubborn. So, so stubborn. And he’s not used to being cared about, if the way he does everything by himself is any indication. So it makes sense to me that he’ll refuse to believe anything good can happen to him even in the face of convincing evidence. He’s pretty self-hating for someone so arrogant.

Kokichi’s weak, deep down to his core, weak for this man. Already knows he’d do anything for him, and the thought is terrifying—that one person could have that much power over him, even if he doesn’t realize it.

But what if he has realized it? Couldn’t this all be an elaborate ruse, a lie he knew Kokichi would be so desperate to believe that he wouldn’t bother questioning it?

…Shuichi’s never hurt him, though. Only that one time, when he really deserved it. Shuichi wouldn’t … betray him, even for what he thinks is Kokichi’s own good. They’re… different from each other, that way.

But still….

“I’m so scared, Shuichi.” It’s barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You won’t be.” It’s so hard to be skeptical, lost in his eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, for as long as you want. I won’t let you feel like this anymore.”

Promise me, he wants to blurt out. Promise you’ll stay. Promise me you’ll never leave me, Shuichi, he wants to demand, but that’s wrong, that’s manipulative and selfish and everything he doesn’t want to be for Shuichi anymore.

Shuichi, of course, says it anyway.

“I promise, Kokichi.”

…

“Kiss me again,” he says. “Please?”

Shuichi leans in close, then pauses, his brow furrowing the way it does when he catches him in a lie.

“I’ll kiss you again in the real world,” Shuichi says. “Okay?”

Kokichi shakes his head. “Shuichi, please.” Please, I don’t think I can do this. Please, I don’t want to wake up to a lie. Please, one last kiss for me to remember in case it was all fake.

Shuichi reaches out to tilt his chin up and Kokichi closes his eyes, savoring every second, burning it into his memory.

Shuichi’s soft breath ghosts over his lips.

“Trust me,” he murmurs.

Kokichi’s eyes flutter back open, searching his face. Shifting him around on the white board in his head, seeing what categories he fits into this time. Weird, of course. Suspicious, maybe not. Trustworthy?

Trustworthy….

“I do trust you,” he realizes.

Kokichi’s still hesitant to accept all of this— Shuichi kissing him didn’t magically fix everything. He’ll still doubt all the way to the log-out point, but at least now he realizes that this simulation is only hurting him— that if things are to get better they’re going to have to change, too. He’s got a long way to go before he’s all right, but he’s not going to have to face it alone anymore.

And that’s a wrap!

Once again, I’m really proud of this story, and I feel like I grew as a writer because of it. There are a few things I would change if I wrote it again, but for all its flaws it’s still my baby and I like how it turned out.

Thanks again for all your support for “Hologram,” and thanks even more if you actually waded through all this nonsense of a director’s cut. It’s a huge confidence-boost to think that people liked what I wrote, and even wanted to hear what I had to say about it. If there’s any interest, I’d love to review some of my other fics here, or theorize or brainstorm or whatever else you’re into. (Ask me what Byakuya’s Thing is in my superhero AU, I dare you 😉)

I do have a WIP in my folder of bits and pieces currently titled “boy finally gets that kiss”, and it’s a post-Hologram scene from Shuichi’s point of view to just sorta… tie it all together, have them talk things over again… and kiss, of course. We’ll see if anything comes out of that.

Until next time!

#Rov talks #Hologram #Saiouma #Oumasai #Behind the scenes #Director's cut #Fanfic review

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argylemnwrites · 3 years

Text

Why Are We Still Waiting? - Chapter 3

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe)

Word Count: ~4900

Rating: PG-13 (brief language)

Summary: A trip to meet the newest Beaumont isn’t off to the greatest start.

Author’s Note: So, since it has been ages since I updated this story, I feel like a quick recap is in order. Drake and Riley are in Cordonia to meet Savannah and Bertrand’s new baby girl, Caroline. They just met Liam’s new girlfriend, Iris, and her innocent questions about their postponed wedding made it clear that Drake is very frustrated by the fact they aren’t married yet. To catch up/jog your memory fully on this series, you can check out the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment masterlist (link in bio).

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Drake groaned as Riley reached forward to start scanning across the radio stations.

“What?” she asked. He noticed her give a tiny shrug out of the corner of his eye as she leaned back after settling on a Greek Top 40 station.

“I knew it. I swear you pick this one just to annoy me, Liu.” Drake had made the mistake of complaining about this particular station on one of their first trips back to Cordonia, right before she’d gone back to university. It was all over-produced and sugary, and the DJs were just fucking obnoxious. Of course, that last point probably didn’t actually bother Riley, since she couldn’t understand a word they said.

“Maybe I just like this station.”

Drake glanced over and took in the giant shit-eating grin plastered across her face and just rolled his eyes. “Uh huh, sure. Let’s ignore the fact that this station plays a ton of songs in Greek.”

“I’m just trying to broaden my cultural horizons.”

“Says the woman who refused to watch Parasite because it has subtitles.’”

“If I wanted to read something, I would pick up a book,” she said, but she did lean forward again to flip over to a different station.

“Thank you,” Drake said, clicking on the turn signal as he switched into the right lane.

“You make it too easy sometimes,” she said, Drake noticing that she shrugged a little out of the corner of his eye. “If you didn’t act like that station was pure torture, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it so much.”

All Drake could do was shake his head. “You know, some people might not be so open about liking something out of spite.”

“No, it’s not spite.” Drake glanced over and raised his eyebrows at that, so Riley elaborated. “Spite is mean-spirited. I know you like my teasing too much for it to be spite.”

“Really.” Drake deadpanned, although he wasn’t able to hold back his grin and fully play along.

“Uh huh. What other explanation is there for you hanging around me after all these years?”

“I can’t think of a single one,” he said, earning him a flick of her fingers against his shoulder.

“Well I guess I will have to keep teasing you then. Otherwise I might have to settle for a guy who would have made me get up before six this morning.”

Drake looked over at her at that. Even after years together, her ability to jump from intensely sarcastic to gently sincere in an instant still amazed him. Last night, Maxwell had called and offered to pick them up from the palace after dropping off Mom and Aunt Leona at the airport, but they had a very early departure time. Drake had turned him down, feeling like it would be a shitty move to force Riley to wake up early on vacation, particularly since she never complained about using her limited vacation days to visit his family. Yet here she was, appreciative of his gesture that cost him nothing.

“Maybe I just didn’t want to spend two hours in the car with Maxwell.”

She let out a laugh at that. “Well, at least I rank as better company in your book.”

“Always, Liu. Always.”

“Seriously though, thank you.”

“Of course.”

Her left hand settled on his shoulder and gave him a little squeeze at that, but she didn’t say anything else, just glanced out the window as Drake turned off the main road and onto the smaller one that led to the Beaumont’s estate. Within a few minutes, they were pulling onto the driveway. As they climbed out of the car, they heard an excited little voice calling from the direction of the estate’s entrance.

“Uncle Drake!”

Drake closed the driver’s door and pivoted around quickly, crouching down and extending his arms. Bartie ran across the drive and threw his little arms around Drake’s neck, laughing as Drake scooped him up and hugged him tightly.

“We saw your car diving! I wanted to go out. Say ‘hi’ like Mommy or Daddy. Uncle Maxwell said I had to stay inside. Had to stand still ‘til you stopped,” Bartie rambled off, barely taking time to take a breath.

“Thought that a little toddler darting in front of the car might not be the best start to your visit,” added Maxwell, strolling over to their car. “Hey, little blossom,” he added as he hugged Riley.

“Oh, you don’t get to just ‘little blossom’ me after you convinced Liam to keep me away!” she chuckled as she gave him a playful shove. “What happened to me being a Beaumont and always welcome here?”

“He told you guys?” Maxwell asked, turning to glance at Drake.

“Of course he did!” Riley said, drawing Maxwell’s attention back to her. She laughed a bit and shook her head before walking around the car to Drake and Bartie. “Hey, Bartie! Wow, you’ve gotten so big!” Drake passed Bartie over to her, watching as she gave him a squeeze, but Bartie started squirming in her arms, clearly wanting to be released from the obligatory hugs.

Riley placed him down, and he turned right back to Drake, grabbing his hand and tugging on it. “Uncle Drake, come see my new playhouse!” he said, attempting to drag Drake along after him as he started moving back towards the estate.

“Hey, my favorite dude, do you remember why Aunt Riley and Uncle Drake are here?” Maxwell said, crouching in front of Bartie.

Bartie kicked his foot against the driveway before he answered. “Everyone wants to see Caroline. But she’s boring. She doesn’t do anything!”

Drake was trying to figure out the best way to deal with his nephew’s clear jealousy, but Riley stepped forward and bent down next to Maxwell. “I would love to see your playhouse, Bartie.”

“What do you say?” added Maxwell. “Why don’t we show Aunt Riley while Uncle Drake goes to see your mom and dad and sister?”

Bartie was silent for a few moments, but then nodded, grabbing Riley and Maxwell’s hands and heading inside without a glance back. Maxwell chuckled, twisted around, and called out to Drake, “You remember where the nursery is, right?”

Drake nodded and raised a hand in acknowledgment, taking the time to pop the trunk and grab their luggage before venturing inside himself. He went straight upstairs, pausing only to place their bags in their usual room, before heading down the hall, turning to the left and entering the private quarters, making his way to the small room located all the way towards the end of the hallway, the last door on the right.

It seemed like just yesterday he was building a crib in there for Bartie when Savannah was moving in. The room looked much the same, the walls still a pale grey, the furniture all pure white. The layout hadn’t changed much, with the crib placed against the far wall beneath a painting of stars shining over a lake with a squid waving a tentacle in the air, the changing table right next to it, and the dresser next to the rocking chair in the corner. The only thing that looked different, as far as Drake could remember, was the sheet tucked around the crib mattress. Back when this had been Bartie’s room, the sheets were covered in a variety of zoo animals, the only splash of color in the otherwise greyscale nursery. Now, they were a black and white check, much more subdued.

Laying in the center of the crib, wrapped tightly in a light pink blanket, was a sleeping baby. Drake didn’t have a lot of experience with infants, but even he had heard you never wake a sleeping baby, so he stepped further into the room carefully, trying not to make a sound. When he reached the crib, he couldn’t help but stare. This was Caroline. His niece.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, just taking her in, but eventually Savannah’s voice caught his attention.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s a bit creepy to just sneak into someone’s home and watch their child sleep?”

Drake turned his head to look over his shoulder. His sister was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest, an eyebrow cocked. “Hey, Sav. Maxwell sent me up here.”

“I should have known,” she said, walking over to join him by the crib, wrapping an arm around his waist as she gave him a half-hug. “I see you’ve met Caroline.”

“She’s beautiful,” Drake said, looking down again at the little baby in the crib, a few fine brown hairs covering her head. His niece. She was so tiny. It was kind of overwhelming, seeing her like this. When he’d met Bartie, it had been such a total shock that he even existed. Plus, he had been so much older than this. “Congratulations.”

“You can pick her up, you know.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to disturb her.”

Savannah let out a few little chuckles. “She is the one who disturbs everyone most of the time. Besides, she’s just about due for a feeding.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, Drake. Just go wash your hands, and then you can hold her.”

And so a minute later, Drake found himself being handed his niece, so small and fragile-seeming. “Is this okay?” he asked, trying to make sure he walked the fine line between being gentle and holding her firmly as he tucked her against his chest.

“You aren’t going to hurt her!” Savannah laughed out.

“I just… I’ve never held a baby this little before. I don’t want to mess this up,” Drake said. Caroline felt so light in his arms. She was blinking, slowly becoming more alert after being shifted from her crib. Her bluish-grey eyes finally seemed to lock on his. “Hey, Caroline,” he said, “I’m your Uncle Drake.” But before he could think of anything else to say, she opened her mouth and let out a piercing wail.

Drake glanced over at Savannah. “What do I do?”

She laughed again. “God, what is Riley going to do with you when it’s your kid? She’s a baby, not an alien. She’s either hungry, sleepy, or has a dirty diaper.” But before she could poke fun at him any further, she reached over and shifted Caroline into her arms. “And since she’s hungry, I’m really the only one who can handle that.”

“Oh, do you want privacy or should I…”

Savannah shrugged. “I use a nursing blanket since Barthelemy walked in on me and made things real awkward.” And with that she settled onto the rocking chair, adjusting her top, positioning Caroline, then tugging a little cover over herself.

“What did Barthelemy do?” Drake asked as he moved to the side wall, leaning against it.

“Just acted real weird about the whole thing, talked to Bert about reminding me how a duchess should comport herself.”

“What a jackass.”

Savannah let out a sigh. “Bertrand was very apologetic when he relayed the message. But using a nursing blanket is not a big deal, and if it makes things easier for Bert with his dad…” She trailed off, staring down at Caroline, reaching under the nursing blanket to adjust something before she spoke again. “Having him around here has not exactly been some big happy family. I don’t know if his illness changed him, or if my memories of him were just fuzzy, but he’s an odd duck.”

Drake glanced over to the doorway. “Uhh, Sav. Not that I care, but the door is wide open and-”

She laughed and shook her head. “He’s at his rehab and physical therapy appointment this morning.”

“Ahh, gotcha. Any more talk of him trying to regain the title of duke?” Back when Barthelemy had returned to the estate, Sav had confided that it seemed like he was hinting that Bertrand should renounce his title and return it to his father. But since their wedding, it had seemed like most of that talk had died.

“No, he and Godfrey laid on the pressure after the honeymoon, but as soon as we announced the pregnancy, he backed off. His new mission seems to be to convince Liam that either Bartie or Caroline should be appointed as heir to the throne, which is crazy to think about, but it keeps him busy, so…” Savannah tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows, letting the thought just hang there in the room.

Drake was bothered by the implications of that statement, but he knew that pressing Savannah on it would not really get him anywhere. As inappropriate and concerning as he found the implication that Savannah and Bertrand weren’t shutting Barthelemy down completely with that shit, he knew voicing his objections now would not solve anything. Discussing this all with Liam would make much more sense. So he just filed the statement away and moved to change the subject.

“Is it easier this time around, knowing what you are doing?”

Savannah smiled before glancing down at Caroline. “I think it’s more that I have a support system. And yes, I know it was my choice to not have one before,” she added before Drake could interject. “I guess in some ways at least I know what to expect, but Caroline is way more cranky than Bartie was at this age. Besides, I don’t think any parent ever really feels like they know what they are doing.”

“Nah, you seem to have it down.”

“It’s just a lot of trial and error. You’ll see when you guys have a baby.”

Drake ran his hand across his jaw, glancing down and watching his toes nudge into the baseboard. “I have a feeling that’s gonna be a while for us.”

“Oh come on! Don’t you want your kids to grow up with their cousins?”

Drake swallowed before taking a breath. “Of course I do.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“Well, getting married to start.” Shit. “Not that I think people have to be married to raise a kid or-”

“Relax, Drake,” Savannah said, cutting off his apologetic ramble. “It’s not like Bartie was a planned pregnancy.”

“Neither was Caroline,” he thought, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to risk offending his sister or make her feel like he was judging her and her family.

“I know you have an old-fashioned streak-”

“Hey!” Drake interjected, but Savannah just kept on going.

“-but I think you guys should think about having kids soon. You were going to be married by now anyway! And isn’t that the modern, New York thing to do?”

Drake didn’t know where all this was coming from. Why she was so insistent about something that didn’t involve her. But man, he wished she would move on to any other topic of conversation. Because what could he say? That he was ready to be married with kids? That he would have no problem starting a family with Riley tomorrow? He couldn’t share that with his sister, at least not without sharing things about Riley he was pretty confident she would never want Savannah to know.

The fact that she had decided on a birth control option that would last for three years made it pretty clear where her head was at with the whole kid thing. She wasn’t really ready, not by a long shot. And until she was ready, there was really nothing he could do about it. Drake was just going to have to wait until she felt like the time was right, whenever that might be.

Maybe it was just that he was four years older than her. Maybe that’s why he felt so ready to take those next steps when she seemed so unbothered, so willing to just roll along. And to be fair, it’s not like they were ever going to be a couple like Hana and Catherine, who had timelines and life plans and five year goals. But deep down, Drake couldn’t help but wonder why Riley seemed so ambivalent about them getting married and starting a family. Was she unsure about something in their relationship, unsure about something with him?

It’s not that she didn’t want kids ever, as far as he knew. She’d mentioned wanting kids before. And they’d planned that first wedding without issue. But now it seemed like she was stuck. No rush to get married. Not thinking about having kids for years. And Drake didn’t know how to approach the whole topic without seeming like he was demanding things. Putting pressure on her. He was happy. They were happy. It was something his younger self would have never thought possible, and it should definitely be enough. But maybe he was selfish, because there were times where it just didn’t feel like enough.

Maybe it would be helpful to talk to someone about this, but that would feel like violating Riley’s trust. He knew Riley had her therapist she talked to, and he was sure their relationship was a topic of conversation there, but that was different. The therapist wasn’t someone who knew Drake, who was his friend or family. Anyone Drake would feel comfortable talking about this with knew Riley. Knew her well, quite frankly.

So for now, he was just going to have to keep moving forward. Keep hoping that Riley would start to feel ready soon. And at the moment, that meant sidestepping his sister’s questions and prodding.

“Geez, Sav! We haven’t even been here for an hour, and you are laying it on really thick.”

“Sorry, sorry! I know it’s not my business! If it makes you feel better, it’s not just with you. Kiara also told me I needed to back off when I started asking her about when she and Oliver were going to have kids right after their wedding.”

“Wait, when did Kiara get married?”

“Oh, Drake! At least you have an excuse for not knowing all the news now that you live abroad.” she said, shaking her head. “They eloped maybe… four months ago?”

And then Savannah was off, filling Drake in on tons of gossip he didn’t give two shits about. But it made her happy, and it was a safe topic of conversation, so who was he to complain?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley sat crossed legged on the floor in Bartie’s room at a little table, Maxwell seated across from her. Meanwhile, Bartie was hard at work at his toy kitchen set, organizing pieces of plastic food on plates. He wanted to show off and make “lunch” for them. Riley supposed that this was probably a common way for a three and a half year old to want to play, not that she had any such memories from her own childhood. What wasn’t common, she was sure, was the formal table setting Bartie had carefully placed in front of each of them, the perfectly pressed white apron he’d asked Maxwell to help him tie on, or the fact that he was arranging his plastic lettuce, eggs, and meat on actual china.

“Looks excellent, my favorite dude,” said Maxwell as Bartie carefully carried over several plates to the table. “What’s on the menu?”

“Steak tartare with a fresh greens salad,” he said before turning and heading back towards his little kitchen.

“Wait, aren’t you going to join us?” asked Riley, trying to keep from bursting out in laughter at the thought of a preschooler preparing such a meal.

“Aunt Riley, no aprons at the table!” he said his eyes wide as he turned back to face her.

“Yeah, come on Aunt Riley, where are your manners?” Maxwell winked before twisting to look over at Bartie. “You need any help untying your apron there?”

“No, I can do it,” Bartie ground out, tugging on the ties without much luck.

“Okay, well I’m right here if you do need help,” Maxwell responded. Within five seconds, Bartie was back, standing right next to him.

“Thanks, Uncle Maxwell!” he said, happily pulling the apron off and jogging over to hang it up nicely once Maxwell had it untied.

“You’re working hard to maintain your title as best uncle.” Riley said.

“Every time you guys come to visit, he suddenly wants to go fishing and camping instead of having dance parties with me.”

Riley laughed at that. “We’re new and exciting, what can I say.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re the favorite aunt by default.”

“What does default mean?” asked Bartie, plopping down on the floor next to them.

“It means no other choices, dude.”

“Oh,” Bartie said, nodding before picking up his silverware, pretending to cut into the plastic in front of him with surprising coordination.

“So has Uncle Maxwell been hanging out with you a lot since your sister came home?”

Bartie shrugged. “I guess.”

“We’ve definitely been seeing some jealousy,” Maxwell said with a nod. “I kind of thought this might happen, so I made sure to clear my schedule for a handful of weeks around the due date.”

“That was thoughtful of you.”

Maxwell tilted his head to the side and smiled. “Hey, I’m favorite uncle for a reason.”

“Uncle Drake is my favorite,” said Bartie, causing Riley to burst out laughing.

“Dude, that wasn’t the deal! You’re gonna pay for this,” Maxwell said, leaning over and wiggling his fingers. “The squid’s about to attack.” With that, Maxwell started tickling Bartie, triggering wild giggles and Bartie rolling backwards on the floor.

“Bartie!” Bertrand’s voice cut across the room. Riley twisted over to find him standing in the hallway, his eyes scanning over the scene in front of him. “We don’t make our guests sit on the floor, do we?”

“No, Daddy.”

“Bertrand, it’s fine-” Riley started, but he held up a hand, cutting her off.

“What do we say, Bartie?”

“Sorry, Aunt Riley.”

All Riley could do was nod, accepting an apology from a toddler that felt entirely unnecessary.

“Good,” said Bertrand, ��Now go wash your hands and get cleaned up for lunch.”

Bartie scampered out of the room, turning to his left in the hallway.

“I offered to play with him, Bertrand.”

“Well, he was told that you were coming to visit Caroline. He should have known better than to monopolize your time.”

Riley opened her mouth, ready to respond, but Maxwell grabbed her wrist and shook his head.

“How are you, by the way? I apologize for not being there to greet you and Drake.”

“I’m good, Bertrand,” she said as she pushed herself up on her feet, walking over and giving him a loose hug. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Yes, thank you. Drake and Savannah have Caroline in the private lounge if you want to go meet her. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check and make sure Bartie isn’t making a complete mess in the bathroom.”

And with that, Bertrand was off, following the path down the hallway that his son had just taken.

“Yikes,” said Riley as soon as he was out of earshot.

“Yeah, I know,” replied Maxwell, looping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her in the opposite direction. “That is another reason I made sure I didn’t have any need to be on set or in LA for any writers meetings for a few months.”

“He’s more of a tight ass than ever.”

“I think he’s very anxious because he missed this part of Bartie’s life. The amount of research he did and the number of parenting books he read is insane. But any time any little thing isn’t what he expects, he flips out.”

“What does Savannah think about that?” Riley asked, following Maxwell down the stairs.

“Either she’s too sleep deprived to notice, or she’s just pretending not to see it. I decided to give him two months to settle into things. If he’s still snapping at everyone then, well… I guess I’ll have to stage an intervention or something.”

“Wow. Well at least you’re here to look out for the kid.”

“Yup, figure I can keep things normal-ish for him. Though I will say between watching Bertrand spiral and hearing Caroline’s shrieks, any faint consideration I might have given to parenthood has gone straight out the window.”

Riley laughed, prompting Maxwell to keep going. “I’m serious! I know I told you I was pretty sure I was good being the fun uncle, but these past few weeks have really locked in that decision. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but Bartie is right - Caroline is boring. And loud. And I am so glad she is not my responsibility.”

All Riley could do was laugh more. “Do you need me to make up an excuse for you so you don’t need to be in the same room with her?”

Maxwell nudged her with his shoulder. “Oh, laugh it up! I don’t have any issues with her. She just confirmed that fatherhood is not for me, no matter how cute she is when she isn’t screaming her head off.”

At that point, they entered the lounge, so Riley dropped any further teasing she had for Maxwell. “Hey, Savannah. Congrats!” she said, walking across the room and giving her a hug.

“Thank you, Riley. It’s so good to see you!” Savannah replied as they pulled apart. Riley moved to sit down next to Drake on the couch, who was cradling a baby against his shoulder.

“This must be Caroline,” she said, watching as Drake tapped his hand against her back lightly.

“Either that or I have a lot of explaining to do,” Drake said, glancing over at her. Riley just smiled and nudged him lightly with her elbow.

“Drake, why don’t you let Riley hold her?” Savannah asked. “She should get to meet her aunt, too.”

“Do you want to?” Drake asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Of course,” said Riley, reaching over and helping him peel the tiny little girl off his chest, nestling her into her own arms.

Caroline was awake, her eyes roving around as Riley shifted back onto the couch more fully to try and get comfortable. After a few seconds, they seemed to settle on Riley’s face. All she could really do was stare back, taking in this child, this baby girl who might not have been planned, but would certainly be loved by so many.

“Yeah, I know I’m a stranger right now. But in a couple of decades, I’ll be the one you come to when you want nightclub recommendations in New York City.”

“Hey, I want in on that invite,” said Maxwell as Savannah let out a few chuckles. Riley glanced over at Drake, expecting him to be rolling his eyes or shaking his head, but instead was caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze. He was staring at her holding Caroline with such passion, such longing, she felt almost exposed. All she could think to do was drop her eyes back to the baby, not wanting to dwell on what that meant at that moment.

Unfortunately, Savannah must have noticed Drake as well, because she said, “Oh, I see that look. ‘A while’ my ass. I bet you’ll be pregnant by the end of the year.”

Drake let out a sort of sputtering cough at his sister’s comment, but before he could say anything, could so much as get a word out, Riley felt her own mouth opening. Her own response spilled out so glibly, without a second of thought. It was almost like she heard someone else saying the words, even as she knew she was the one speaking.

“Don’t give him any ideas.”

She felt Drake stiffen beside her, saw Maxwell shifting in his seat, and heard Savannah mutter out a little apology, but all of that was just background noise as her brain screamed at her. How could she have been so fucking stupid? What possessed her to say that? Or at least to phrase it like that? There were ways to shut down Savannah’s prying without implying that Drake had baby fever and she wanted no part of it.

The uncomfortable silence in the room was broken as Bertrand and Bartie entered. “Lunch is ready in the dining room,” said Bertrand, gesturing to the door behind him. Bertrand then stepped over to Riley. “I can go put her down,” he said, gesturing at his daughter still in Riley’s arms.

“Oh, sure thing,” said Riley, passing him Caroline before standing up. Savannah, Maxwell, and Bartie had already left the room, but Drake was still seated, his eyes locked on his knee that was bouncing up and down.

“Drake, I-” she started as soon as Bertrand had stepped out, extending her hand to help him to his feet. But Drake ignored the gesture, pushing his hands into the cushions of the couch instead.

“I’m hungry. Let’s just go eat, Riley.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t-.”

“It’s fine, Riley, Really. We can talk later” He nodded at her and started walking towards the door, leaving Riley to follow after him. And more than the brush off, more than his refusal to hold her hand, the fact that he’d not called her ‘Liu’ let her know that she had made a huge fucking mess.

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @twinkleallnight @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know @iplaydrake

ICWAM: @thequeenofpixels @sunnyxdazed @sammie0220

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr au #trr au fanfic #trr fanfic #choices fanfiction

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soulmate-game · 4 years

Text

Part 1

After the Discovery, things didn’t change as much as everyone thought they might. “Everyone” being just Marinette, of course.

She got a lecture from Lois about worrying her, and then a joke from the older woman about no longer having another non-hero in the house to team up with.

“Wait, Dad,” Jon spoke up after that comment from his mom, bobbing up and down on his heels. Both him and Clark had long since changed out of their costumes, which didn’t take long considering both of them having super speed. “Does this mean Mari can meet Damian? And is she going to join a hero team—“

“I already have a team, Jon,” Marinette interrupted, soft but firm at the same time. Two months was more than long enough to know that Jon could talk forever if he was allowed to. “Chat Noir, Viperion, Bunnyx, and Ryuuko are all Miraculous users like me,” she had already sat down and explained the bare basics of her abilities and the Paris situation. Lois had known better than to scold her, no matter how gentle the scolding was, before Marinette had a chance to say anything.

Clark blinked, looking between both of his kids. And yes, Marinette was well and truly one of his kids already. He couldn’t hold back a soft chuckle. “She can meet Damian when school starts back up again, Jon. We don’t want to rush anything,” he started out by telling his son. Marinette was still very jittery. Two months was nowhere near enough time to recover from the trauma of watching your parents die, after all.

(In fact, Clark thought, for some people not even a lifetime was long enough. Batman briefly came to mind as an example.)

The girl still had nightmares almost daily, and panic attacks that resulted in brief spans of mutism at least once a week. Those, at least, had severely decreased in frequency, but it was clear that she was far from ready to meet very many new people. Especially people like Damian Wayne, who was hard enough for someone in perfect mental health to handle even on a good day.

“And Marinette,” Clark switched over to his pseudo-daughter. “If you have that many teammates, surely they would understand that you need a break,” when Marinette didn’t meet his eyes, Clark felt dread build up in his stomach. “Marinette, they know about your parents, right?”

The girl fidgeted. Clark closed his eyes.

“Nobody knows my identity,” She admitted after a tense silence. “I know everyone else’s, even though I only found out Chat’s by accident. But they don’t know mine, and I can’t ask them to give me time off anyway.”

“Why not, honey?” Lois asked as gently as she could, picking up on the beginning signs of Marinette closing herself off. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything any of them could do to stop it. Marinette refused to meet any of their eyes, and even before she spoke her new family knew that they wouldn’t get anything else meaningful out of her about the Paris situation, at least for the day.

“They need me.”

Clark and Jon traded a look. That statement felt a bit too familiar for them. It was something they heard from a lot of heroes who tried to justify overworking themselves. It was something both of them had said before.

But they let the topic rest for the night. Pushing Marinette wouldn’t do any good for anybody.

—*—*—*—*—*

A week passed. Lois and Clark were sitting on the couch watching TV when Lois caught her husband’s eyes darting up to the ceiling. Sighing, she turned the volume down a few notches.

“Did she leave for Paris again?” She asked even though she already knew the answer. Clark nodded grimly.

“Yesterday she didn’t get back in until almost four in the morning,” he admitted, running a hand over his face. “And now, it’s already eleven and she’s just now heading out. I know she doesn’t want me or Jon going to Paris because of Hawkmoth’s magic, but…” he trailed off with his mouth set in a deep frown. Lois could only sigh and lean against his arm comfortingly.

“I know,” she breathed quietly.

“She can’t keep working herself to the bone like this, Lois. Sometimes she’ll head right over to Paris after a nightmare, like she needs to remind herself of something, but she always comes back in less than an hour in that case. But this— when she leaves to fight HawkMoth or patrol Paris before ever going to sleep in the first place— it’s like she’s trying to avoid the nightmares by overworking herself too much to even dream.”

“I know,” Lois rubbed a hand on Clark’s back in gentle circles.

“It reminds me of Batman sometimes,” Clark said, his voice filled with uncharacteristic defeat. “Marinette doesn’t get violent like Bruce, but… never sleeping, throwing herself into heroism, she even refers to Ladybug as if they are different people, Lois. I can’t always help Bruce since he’s a grown adult and more than capable of shutting me out when he wants to, but Marinette is our kid now. I’m just not sure how to help her.”

Lois took a deep breath. “Well, she’s not Bruce so you can’t just bait her into a spar to sort out her feelings,” she mused with faint humor. “But how about we start with sending Jon to Paris the next time you guys hear her leave? The sooner we figure out exactly what the situation and her relationship with her team is like, then maybe the sooner we can find some answers.”

Clark nodded, and looked back up to the ceiling. “I know you heard that, Jon. Don’t get in the way, and come back if Marinette finds you and tells you to. We don’t want her to think we don’t trust her.”

A beat passed, and Clark rolled his eyes fondly.

“Don’t forget to go to bed as soon as she gets back, Jon. I don’t want to deal with two overly exhausted children.”

A thump.

“I’m sixteen!” Jon yelled back, clearly for Lois’s benefit as his mom let out a short burst of laughter.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Ladybug!”

“Look, it’s Ladybug!” “Woo! Go ladybug!” “Could you beat this guy extra fast, Ladybug? I’m late for a meeting!”

People in the streets were shouting in French happily, pointing up at their resident spotted heroine. Some people groused at her in mild or fond annoyance, asking her to beat the Akuma-of-the-day a bit faster for various reasons or jokingly calling her a slow poke. Most people just got pictures or videos on their phones of her as best as they could, watching her swing by in awe and admiration.

It was familiar. Too, too familiar, and Jon made sure to get it all on camera. His parents would want to see this. The pair of contacts he was wearing, a gift from Red Robin, translated everything that was being said for him into helpful little English subtitles.

And there was his sister. Marinette had been tough to pin down, and this was Jon’s third time trying to follow her in Paris. The first time, the day after that late night discussion between his parents, ended in less than five minutes. Marinette caught him and sent him home firmly, which was followed by a heart-to-heart with all four of them when she got home.

She still refused to tell them anything more than the basics about Paris’s situation. For some reason, she seemed extremely reluctant to talk about it. She had no problem comparing experiences and hero jokes with him and his dad, but the moment they tried to talk about Paris-specifics, Marinette clammed up.

It was the second of Jon’s attempts to follow Marinette, just a week after the first, that brought up a possible reason. Because Jon had watched a civilian that he hadn’t been able to get to in time get pinned under a thrown car and killed—only for Ladybug’s powers to reverse all the damage and bring the man back to life.

Jon had raced back home right after that, not even giving Marinette the chance to see him. After relaying what had happened to his parents, they all agreed to one last tail. The pieces were already falling together, and none of them liked the picture they were painting. They wanted to confront Marinette as soon as possible. So here he was, another week later.

Jon kept recording throughout the fight, watching as Marinette clearly led her team. There was no mistaking that all her teammates respected her and treated her word as law. Even Chat Noir, who was Ladybug’s deputy, always referred to Ladybug’s opinion before issuing any orders. Civilians didn’t always flee the scene, taking their time as they tried to record the fight. And when the Akuma was beaten and only Ladybug made a move to catch the corrupted butterfly, the final pieces clicked into place. Jon managed to stay still long enough to catch the crowd of fans running forward, trying to mob Ladybug with pleas for autographs or statements or interviews, before he left. Ladybug’s team had acted as a buffer between her and the crowd anyway, so Jon was able to leave with a clear conscience.

When he walked into his house, already changed back into normal clothes, he waved his phone with a serious look on his face as both his parents waited anxiously.

“Yeah. This is pretty bad,” Jon warned them as he hooked his phone up to his laptop, and played the footage for them.

—*—*—*—*—*

When Marinette got home, it was to a clear intervention. Nervously detransforming, she looked to Tikki and back to her new family. The Kwami, who had previously just been explained away as the source of her powers, gently nudged the girl forward. She knew her holder needed this.

Clark and Lois gently explained why they asked Jon to follow her, explaining that they were all concerned about how badly she was overworking herself.

“You’re getting only three hours of sleep, and that’s on the days that you wake up with nightmares,” Clark’s

voice was quiet, begging her to listen. “Every other day, you teleport to what I can only hope is Paris every time, and you don’t come back for hours. Even if you spend that whole time fighting Akumas, you still only get an hour’s worth of sleep maximum when you get back. Sometimes you don’t even sleep at all until you collapse of exhaustion,” he leaned forward over the table, worry etched in every line on his face. “Marinette, we’re worried. We wanted Jon to see what the situation in Paris was like, because we thought that maybe it would explain why you seem to care about it more than your health. We didn’t know if it was just you needing to keep busy, or something else.”

“And you’re gone during the day too,” Lois added. “And we get that. HawkMoth attacks whenever he feels like, and we all understand if you have to disappear at odd times to fight his Akumas. But this is more than that, isn’t it?”

Marinette’s hands were clenched into fists, and tears were starting to bubble up in her eyes, but she didn’t say anything. Jon slowly approached her, waiting for her small nod before laying one of his larger hands over her fists and gently prying them open before she hurt herself. He kept his hands there, holding hers for both of their comfort.

“I took a video, today,” he admitted gently. “Dad already erased it from the laptop and my phone, don’t worry. But they— we all— needed to see it. The way Paris treats you, Marinette—“

“It’s like how Metropolis used to treat Superman. How they sometimes still do,” Lois interrupted, trying to get Marinette to meet her eyes. “We all thought that Superman showing up was the end of our problems. That as soon as he showed up, the villain or criminal or whatever that was causing us problems was done for. That he could save everyone,” Lois’s eyes grew melancholy. “But we had to learn the hard way that he’s not invincible, no matter how much he might seem like he is. We had to learn the hard way that nobody, no matter how strong or how many powers they have, can save everyone. The kind of trust we had in him before is toxic, Marinette. It’s toxic to us, because we stop being as careful as we should be if we think he’s always going to catch us. And it’s toxic to him, too.”

“How?” Marinette asked, her voice impossibly tiny and her eyes glittering with unshed tears as she darted her eyes between them. “They need someone to believe in. They— I make them feel safe. I— isn’t that good?”

“You feel like it’s your job to be there no matter what, right?” Clark asked, meeting her gaze with a warm, but firm one of his own. “That you have to do whatever it takes to win every battle, no matter what it costs you, because they believe you will. You start feeling like everyone you don’t save is your fault. And that’s not okay,” he stood up and Jon slowly backed away, allowing their father to kneel by Marinette and clasp one of her shoulders. “It always hurts. You might never forget the faces of the people you can’t save, but it isn’t your fault. You told me and Jon that you don’t blame us for what happened to your parents, that it’s stupid to blame the hero for something that wouldn’t have happened if the villain didn’t attack in the first place,” his grip tightened slightly, trying to offer comfort when Marinette tended at the mention of her parents. “If you don’t blame us, even though we were the ones in costume and fighting that day, then you need to stop blaming yourself too.”

The tears finally overflowed, salty water trickling down Marinette’s cheeks and sloppy sobs ripping themselves from her throat even as she threw herself into Clark’s chest. He hugged her tightly, letting her cry.

“B-b-But,” Marinette stuttered in between hiccuping sobs. “My powers reverse damage, m-my powers bring people back,” she sniffed, burying her face deeper into Clark’s chest. “I wanted t-to help. I-I was. S-s-So close to tr-transforming and fighting with y-you, but I didn’t. I d-didn’t, so I c-couldn’t bring them b-back. I should have been tr-transformed, th-that way they would be—“

“Shh,” Clark whispered gently, rocking her in his arms. “It’s not your fault. Metropolis wasn’t your city. You were protecting your identity, and that was the right choice.”

“But—!”

“No, Marinette,” Clark interrupted, holding her just a little tighter as she continued to tremble and sob. “If you had transformed, someone would have figured it out. A French class comes to Metropolis, and one of their students mysteriously disappears at the same time that a French hero shows up in America for the first time? Maybe you could have brought them back, but none of you would have been safe. Our villains, the villains of Metropolis, of the League, they would have suddenly known about you and might have researched Paris. Maybe HawkMoth would have gained a new ally, or maybe a villain would attack you just because you’re a new hero to target,” Clark sighed, rubbing his hand gently over Marinette’s back as her sobs quieted into a few hiccups and sniffles. She was listening. That was a good sign. “So yes, maybe you would have been able to save them that once, but you could also have opened up a new can of worms that you might not have been able to handle. Things could have gotten worse, and Jon and I wouldn’t have even known to help you. You would have continued to shoulder everything on your own, but you don’t have to. You did your best, and your parent’s deaths aren’t your fault. And you have Jon and I now, and your team even if they don’t know who you are. You can rely on us a little. If you keep going on like this, though, you’re going to kill yourself Marinette,” this time his grip tightened for a whole different reason and Clark buried his face in Marinette’s loose hair. Even after only almost three months, the thought of losing her made him breathless. She was his daughter, even if not by blood, and he couldn’t stand the thought of her hurting herself like this.

“Please, Mari,” That was Jon, who had knelt down by their side and joined the hug. “Let us help you. I promise we’re not incompetent heroes.”

Marinette’s laugh was watery, and hysteric. She accepted a tissue from Lois, who was suddenly sitting down only a foot away from the three’s group hug. After a good nose-blow, Marinette took a deep breath.

“Maybe now’s a good time to give them a proper explanation, Marinette,” Tikki said as she floated down to land on her wielder’s head, giving her the best hug she could. Marinette gave another wet chuckle.

“Yeah, I agree,” she took a deep breath. “But it’s a long story.”

“Not a problem,” Lois assured the girl as she forced herself up and stretched her arms out. “I’ll get the extra pillows and blankets. We can relax on the floor and have story time, and then binge watch movies and have a sleepover in the living room. Clark, could you be a dear and move the couch out of the way?”

—*—*—*—*—*

“You have a rule against killing, dear,” Lois whispered groggily from where she was laying against Clark’s side. Marinette was sprawled in between him and Jon, safely in their cuddle-cocoon. Both of their kids were deep asleep. Clark grunted.

“Yeah, but he put so much responsibility on kids, Lo. Kids,” he whispered back, turning his head to try and lessen the chance of waking up Jon. “And he didn’t offer them any support for almost a year, made them figure out the whole hero thing and their powers on their own,” the clearing of a tiny throat made Clark stifle a snort. “With their Kwami,” he whispered, quietly appeasing the eavesdropping Tikki who was laying on Marinette’s chest pretending to sleep. “But a god isn’t exactly a replacement for an actual hero mentor, you know,” he shot at her, making the tiny goddess shrug in acquiescence. “And making her Guardian— he basically threw all his responsibilities onto kids, and ran away. And now Marinette has to heal from all the unrealistic expectations she gave herself. So forgive me if I’m entertaining a few more violent daydreams than usual.”

Lois patted his arm and kissed his cheek. “I’m sure they will be just as violent and gratifying to imagine in the morning. Go to sleep, Smallville.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was another two and a half weeks before Marinette met Damian Wayne for the first time. She looked from the fellow teenager in a perfectly-pressed uniform and then over to her brother with a raised eyebrow.

“Does he fly in on a helicopter every day?” She asked him incredulously, making Jon grin and nod. She looked back over at Damian, who was clearly annoyed at her for speaking about him when he was right there. “I will never understand rich people.”

Damian scoffed, rolling his eyes. “And I will never understand simpletons. Kent, who is your friend?” He practically spat the last word, making the inner bully-detector in Marinette go off. Her interactions with Chloe and Lila kicked in, and sparked her old habits. Marinette flashed a bright smile, stepping in front of Jon before he could say a word and holding out her hand to Damian. Clark, who was talking to Bruce nearby, out his hand over his mouth to hide a snort. Bruce raised his eyebrows, paying close attention to the interaction now.

“Hi! I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Clark and Lois took me in a few months ago, and they said I’m already family. That means that I’m Jon’s sister now, which means that it’s my job to keep him away from bad influences. My hobbies include annoying bullies and not being a welcome mat. How are you?”

Damian blinked once. Twice, and then took her hand and shook it firmly even as a smirk spread itself over his lips.

“Damian Wayne,” he replied easily. “And I apologize for assuming you were a simpleton. I think we can tolerate each other just fine.”

As Marinette and Damian kept trading sarcastic quips with one another that got steadily less passive-aggressive as time went on (with Jon watching in dismay as somehow Marinette seemed to get along? With Damian? And they were scheming? This couldn’t end well.), Clark and Bruce watched the kids walk into their school building.

A moment of silence stretched, before Bruce finally caved and asked; “Took her in?”

Clark grinned slightly, knowing Bruce never would have been able to resist sating his curiosity over the new girl in his care.

“Lois and I practically adopted her. Technically her paternal grandmother has custody and only gave her to us to take care of while she recovers from her grief in a different country, but that’s only because trying to adopt her without being French citizens would have been almost impossible.”

“Grief?” Bruce’s eyebrows pulled down, and Clark’s smile grew somber.

“Remember the attack in late May, back in Metropolis? The one that actually had the first fatalities in months?” Bruce’s face went slack in realization, followed closely by his eyes snapping to the school’s doors. Clark nodded. “Looks like your penchant for adopting black-haired, blue-eyed orphans is contagious. She was scraping the skin off her hands and giving herself burns trying to dig them out of the rubble. When Jon and I realized that they were both of her parents, I had Lois look into her to make sure she had family to take care of her,” Clark sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “The options were a grandmother who never stops traveling or a great uncle she barely knows who only speaks Mandarin when she doesn’t. So we pulled a few strings, and now she’s a Kent in all but name.”

“I hope Damian can avoid saying the wrong thing for at least a day before I talk to him later,” Bruce said with a sigh as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “At least she seems to have won his respect pretty quickly.”

Clark laughed. “Oh yeah, she tends to do that. No offense or anything Bruce, but I think it’s a good thing we were the ones that adopted her before you got the chance,” he turned and smiled at his old friend. “You wouldn’t be able to handle Marinette. She’s closer to a Super than a Bat.”

—*—*—*—*—*

@fantasiame @thestressmademedoit @amayakans @resignedcatservant @too0bsessedformyowngood @chocolatecatstheron

Part 3

This. Was. Supposed. To be. Fluffy. Damn it. But oh well, natural story progression calls for more hurt and comfort I guess? Maybe one part left in this story I think.

#marinette joins the kent family #jon kent and marinette #mlb x dc #ml x dc #platonic jonette #daminette #if you squint #pre daminette #Marinette Kent

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

BTS Reaction || You’re An Interviewer at BBMA’s [Request]

A/N: Hope this is okay for you hun!!

Seokjin:

To say you were nervous was an understatement, you were beyond nervous now. You'd been working for the company for one week and they decided to throw you in at the deep end to see if you could survive in their world. Being a journalist wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Now here you were standing on the red carpet of the Billboard Music Award's about to interview one of the biggest bands at the moment, said band was also one of your favourite bands and you were going to have to keep your cool around them.

"Are you ready?" The cameraman asked as BTS started walking towards you with smiles on their faces, you smiled back at each of them and you nodded at the cameraman.

"Let's do this." You told him, getting ready to interview the boys, you didn't bother with the questions that your boss had given you because they were awful.

"Hi guys, how are you enjoying tonight?" You stuttered over the words and they all smiled, going into explanations about how their nights were going and Jin noticed you. He'd seen plenty of interviewers in his time of being in BTS but none of them were like you, you looked nervous and he could see your hands shaking as you tried to keep talking to them. He kept his eye on you, mostly because he couldn't take them off you, the moment he walked over to you he couldn't stop staring at you, your smile was what drew him in first, the way it was small but as soon as they walked over it seemed genuine and true, unlike a lot of other interviewers.

"You okay?" He asked once the interview was over and the camera was down, you nodded without saying anything. Trying to manage your breathing but it wasn't working very well.

"Here, breathe with me." You stared at him as he started to breathe in deeply, holding it and then breathing back out with you. You began following along with him and the other boys looked at you both, saying nothing and continuing with their own conversations.

"How are you doing now?" You smiled up at him and nodded, finally finding words to be able to talk to him.

"Sorry, it's my first big interview, they sort of threw me to the sharks." You joked looking at him as he chuckled at your lame attempt to make him laugh,

"We aren't that scary, but I'm glad that you were our interviewer, not everyone is as nice as you were." He told you as he looked at Namjoon, they were being called along to the next interview and he looked at you sadly. He almost didn't want to move, he knew he couldn't slip you his number in any way because there were cameras everywhere,

"I'll find you again Y/n," He whispered to you just as he left you there, you stared off after him thinking you were imagining him saying that when he turned around and sent you a sly wink.

Yoongi:

Yoongi was looking forward to your interview, mostly because he knew about you and how kind you were with everyone you met. He was walking down the Billboard Music Awards red carpet when he spotted you, you were stood interviewing someone else and all he could focus on was you. You weren't dressed up like everyone else on the carpet, you were wearing jeans and a fancy shirt unlike other female interviewers who were all dressed in giant dresses or heels they couldn't walk in.

"What can fans expect from the new album?" He heard when he zoned back into the interview they were already in but he couldn't help but keep glancing over at you, struck by how cool and calm you were being.

"Hi boys, can I offer you some water? Or something to eat before we start?" You questioned looking at each member and they all took a bottle of water from you and a cookie. From what Yoongi had read about you, you did this with everyone. You wanted everyone to be comfortable during your interviews,

"I'm Y/n and I'll be doing the interview tonight." They all nodded and you smiled again before you went straight in with the interview, but you were reading questions from Army instead of generic interview questions and all of them were loving it.

"The last one for the night, Army wants to know what your favourite tracks are from the new or the old albums." All of them went on to tell you their favourites and you actually listened to them, turning to Namjoon if he had to translate something and then looking back at the original member as they spoke. Something Yoongi noticed a lot of interviewers didn't do, they would ask a question and then ignore them or just wait for them to finish. Yoongi's turn to speak was coming up and he'd been rehearsing what he wanted to say in his head and when you turned to him and smiled he almost lost everything in his head, he told you his favourite song and why and then did something that shocked you,

"What about you?" In all your time in interviewing a celebrity never wanted to engage in more than they had to so it was a little shocking.

"I think it's either Cypher part 2 or maybe What am I to you...I'm a sucker for your old music but I do love your new stuff." You told them and the interview finished, they stayed standing with you for a couple of minutes while they waited for the next one to open up.

"You guys are amazing, thank you for taking the time to talk to us tonight." You said to each member before they began talking to one another. Throughout the rest of the night, Yoongi would look around to see if he could spot you and when he did, he couldn't take his eyes off you and he made a promise to himself he would find out how to get your number or any way of contact with you.

Hoseok:

Another red carpet event meant another night of interviews, with the same questions just worded differently. Hoseok was normally the happy one but tonight he was too tired from practising the night before and all morning and all he wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed.

"Hello guys, I'm Y/n and I'll be interviewing you tonight, I hope that's okay." You said to them, as Namjoon went to translate you surprised him by repeating what you'd said in Korean to the members, Hoseok's ears picked up and he looked up from the floor to meet your eyes, you were smiling at each of them.

"I took Korean in school, I knew it would come in handy for something." You told Namjoon as the cameraman got the camera ready for the interview. Throughout the entire interview, you were switching between English and Korean to make it easier for the boys to understand and to give Namjoon a break from being a translator all night. You knew you were going to have to edit the subtitles in later but it was worth it to see BTS smiling so much during an interview.

"Lastly, what can fans expect from the upcoming album?" You questioned in both English and Korean, Namjoon looked at each of the members and Hoseok took the answer to the question,

"It's going to be big, huge and we hope that Army will love." You smiled at him as he spoke in amazing English and then you ended the interview, handing your cameraman your microphone and shaking Namjoon's hand as he complimented you on your Korean, they were all waiting for their next interview to start so you offered them some water and then looked at Hoseok who'd been staring at you all night, you smiled at him and felt a blush creeping up on your cheeks as he smiled back at you.

"You did amazing, where did you learn Korean again?" He questioned and you went into a deep conversation about where you went to school and why you took Korean instead of French or Spanish.

"I hope you enjoy your night." You said as they were getting ready to move along to the next interview.

"And good luck with your performance." He waved at you and asked Namjoon if he knew where he could find you after the night was finished. He didn't want that to be the last time he would see you.

Namjoon:

They were all used to interviews by now, it was something they'd been doing for seven years and something they were going to be doing for a long time coming but Namjoon couldn't help but feel that small amount of cringe when they met an interviewer and they faked being happy to see them, or were really giddy and couldn't contain themselves which is why when they met you on the carpet for the BBMA's it was like a breath of fresh air to him and the rest of the boys. You were standing up by the entrance, you were the last interview of the night and he smiled at you,

"Hi, I'm Y/n." You said to them all, giving them each a genuine smile and looking at your cameraman to check if he was ready for you.

"I'll be your interviewer for the next five minutes." You told them and the cameraman nodded, you took out the cards you were reading from and asked the questions. The whole time Namjoon was supposed to be paying attention but every now and again he would find himself zoning out as he watched you speaking, only coming back to reality when the younger boys poked him in the side, you blushed as you noticed he was watching you but continued to read off the questions calmly trying to ignore the fact that one of the hottest men were staring right at you and watching you.

"Thanks for this." You said to them as the interview ended and you were left to talk to them before they were called into the building, Namjoon was still staring at you at a loss for words.

"Hyung...Ask her out if you're so taken by her." You heard Jungkook whisper not so quietly, you looked at the floor trying to act as though you hadn't heard anything not thinking he was talking about you. You knew that people have their own private lives and it wasn't your business to meddle in them.

"Jungkook, shut up," Namjoon mumbled under his breath and you turned to look back at them going to offer them something to drink when you came face to chest with Namjoon, almost knocking him and yourself over.

"Sorry, I didn't expect you to be that close." You giggled as you tried to steady yourself but his arm was on your upper arm steadying you so you didn't tumble over.

"It's okay, I didn't think you would turn around that quickly." You smiled looking up at him and forgetting everything you'd been thinking about before as you stared up into his brown eyes.

"Erm-I...Do you want something to drink?" You asked as he let go of your arms and nodded.

"Sure," At first it was awkward to be around him without having premade questions for you to ask him but he smiled at you and it made everything seem less awkward as if he had some superpower to do so.

"I would love to do another interview with you, do you have a number we can call to set that up?" You nodded and reached for a business card but Jungkook came over to you,

"He means your mobile number, he's too much of a gentleman to ask." You felt the blush creeping back and you took out a pen, writing your number on the back of the card and handing it to him.

"Thanks, Jungkook." You whispered as they walked away.

Jimin:

The number of interviews the boys had done that night had lost count in Jimin's mind and he was getting tired of answering the same questions over and over again which is why when he got to you he didn't look happy and just wanted the night to be over or for the interviewing portion to be over, he was looking forward to performing. You introduced yourself and he blanked out like he normally would after saying hello but as soon as you started giving them questions that weren't routine or everything they'd heard before he started to pick up, his mood brightening as you continued to read off questions from Army instead of the company.

"Your fanbase is one of the kindest I've met, I asked when on twitter on Instagram for questions because I know how boring those interviews can be and Army welcomed me with welcome arms." You told them and they laughed along with you, you began giving them questions and you noticed that Jimin was smiling more as you read them out. Which is why you did this instead of the boring old interviews, you wanted to give celebrities a way of talking to their fans instead of asking questions that no one really cared about or something they'd answered ten times over before.

"Army wants to know if you all have secret fan accounts?" You questioned looking up at them as they all shook their heads, but Jimin nodded not thinking about what was happening.

"Oh...Oh- No, no we don't." He answered quickly and you made a not to remove him nodding from the interview, knowing that if it got out that he did, no one would rest until they found it.

"I'll edit it out." You told Namjoon who was looking extremely nervous about Jimin's answer he smiled at you and you continued reading from the cards.

"Do you really have secret accounts?" You questioned after the camera was away and Jimin nodded laughing at Namjoon's glare,

"I won't tell anyone." You promised as you giggled at Jimin pretending to be scared of Namjoon,

"We have to go, but I hope I can see you again." Jimin said taking hold of your hand and kissing the top of it, before he walked away from you, leaving you blushing and trying not to freak out.

Taehyung:

Why did you agree to do this again? You were just an intern and your boss decided it would be a good idea to let you lead interviews with people since the original interviewer was out sick. You looked up nervously to meet Taehyung staring at you with a smile,

"I'm Tae." He said shaking your hand and you greeted the rest of them, smiling and shaking their hands as you tried to remain cool.

"I'll say sorry now, I'm not used to this. I'm only here because my coworker is sick." You explained as you felt your hands shaking, you'd been like this for the last hour. Nervous to talk to anyone who came over to you. Taehyung noticed and shook his head at you,

"It's okay, take your time." You smiled gratefully and he looked at Namjoon who was also smiling at you. Each of them understood that you were new at this and weren't used to running that kind of interview.

You made it through the interview without messing up too badly but you'd stumbled over a couple of the questions but you got through them in the end.

"You doing okay?" Taehyung asked handing you a bottle of water from your cameraman, you nodded and looked up at him.

"I'm not an in front of the camera kind of girl, more of a, sit behind a desk and type up articles." You told him and he chuckled kneeling down in front of you since you were sat on a chair trying to calm yourself down.

"A tip I got when we first started was to imagine everyone in their underwear but it doesn't really work...So use this instead," He came closer to you and you stared at him as he spoke to you.

"Act as though you know everyone like you've been friends before and it's just catching up." You nodded along with him and he smiled, helping you up to your feet.

"Ask me something." He said to you, handing you the stack of cards and watching you, you did as he said. Pretending in your head that you'd known him years and you were just catching up, no one else around you. Just you and Tae and you did it. You weren't shaking or stumbling over your words and he smiled patting you on the back.

"Thanks, Taehyung, maybe I'll be able to make it through the rest of the night now." You said with a small laugh behind your words and he chuckled looking up to see Namjoon calling for him to leave, he patted you on the back and left you, glancing back to see if you were still okay and you were.

Jungkook:

Jungkook had been watching you for most of the night out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how calm and collected you were with everyone you were meeting and he smiled at the thought of someone being so in love with their job that they really were happy to interview everyone they met. He was making his way over to you with the rest of the boys when you turned around to switch out cards, he walked closer and was standing beside you, making you jump and drop the cards onto the floor when you finally noticed him standing right behind you.

"Shit." You whispered bending down to pick up all of the cards that were now out of order,

"Well done Jungkook." The older members teased and Jungkook dropped onto the floor to help you find all of the cards since it as his fault that they were on the floor in the first place.

"It's okay, you don't need to help." You told him but he insisted and continued to help you, handing them to you. Your hands made contact and you stared from his hands up to his eyes and he smiled at you with one of the biggest smiles you'd seen, and you couldn't help but blush as he stared at you.

"Sorry, you just have really pretty eyes." He whispered to you as he blushed back, you both stared at each other for a couple of seconds before the cameraman cleared his throat and you were brought back to reality both of you standing up and joining the boys to continue with the interview.

"Sorry about that, I scare easy." You told them as they all waited for you to start and you did, avoiding looking at Jungkook throughout the whole thing but you could feel his stare on you the whole time. He couldn't take his eyes off you, you'd really caught his attention when you locked eyes and it was as if the world around him had gotten brighter. Something he'd always dreamed about when he thought about meeting someone, but he never expected it to happen so soon, he smiled at you and then looked at the rest of the boys. They were getting ready to leave and he didn't want to, he wanted to stay with you all night and stare into your eyes.

"Here. Her number." The cameraman said sliding the number to Jungkook who raised his eyebrows at the man before smirking and running off to join his Hyung's and tell them what he had.

tagline:

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @ficdump101 @babymochichimmy @btsiguess-kpop @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @yourguessisasgoodasminemate @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii

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mikauzoran · 3 years

Text

Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen: Broken Families

“Sup, G Flat,” Xavier-Yves greeted as he descended the stairs into the main cabin of the Liberty.

Adrien grimaced but mentally reminded himself to be nice for Luka’s sake.

“Hi, XY. Luka’s actually not here right now. He’s out with the Capitaine, and I don’t think they’ll be back soon,” he informed, hoping that that would be the end of his exposure to the popstar for the day.

XY shrugged, taking a seat on the opposite limb of the L-shaped couch from Adrien.

“That’s okay,” XY assured as he made himself comfortable, spreading out like a starfish and pulling his laptop out of his bag. “You probably don’t know this because you’re still pretty new here, but I have the okay to just kick it here whenever I want.”

Adrien nodded, internally cursing his lot in life. “I see. That’s cool.”

“Yeppers,” Xavier-Yves agreed, barely paying Adrien any mind as he started up his audio editing program.

Adrien set aside the book he’d borrowed from Luka, seeing that he wasn’t going to get any more reading done in XY’s presence.

“How long do you think you’ll hang out?” Adrien inquired, trying to sound interested rather than rude and impatient for Xavier-Yves to leave.

XY shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe a couple hours? Probably until this evening.”

Adrien mentally swore.

“I’m hiding from my dad,” XY added voluntarily.

Adrien frowned. “Why?”

XY clicked his tongue. “He’s trying to set me up with some actress. You know. For publicity and all that.”

Adrien shuddered. “My father made me do that a couple times. I’ve always hated that kind of thing.”

“Dude, I know!” XY exclaimed, looking up from his computer screen. “Sucks, right?!”

Adrien nodded. “I mean, some of the girls were okay, and I may have even been able to like one or two of them in earnest if we’d met more naturally and it had been our decision to date, but…those arrangements are so staged. I always resented them as just one more thing Father was making me do against my will and completely ignoring my wishes about.”

“Tch. Yeah,” Xavier-Yves scoffed. “Trust me. I hear you.”

Just as suddenly as the conversation started, it ended, and XY seemed to go back to his laptop.

Adrien gave his book a sidelong look, debating whether to take it up to the deck to continue reading in peace.

Before he could come to a decision, XY broke back into Adrien’s thoughts.

“…So…you’re bi or what?”

Adrien gave a start. “What?”

“You said you could have liked some of the girls your dad made you date,” XY explained, “but I always thought you had a thing for Luka…so are you bi or in denial or what?”

Adrien stared at his love rival for a moment, trying to determine whether he should be affronted by XY’s abrupt demands for personal information.

Xavier-Yves looked at Adrien expectantly with seemingly no malice or agenda hidden behind his words.

It was then that Adrien remembered what Luka had told him about XY’s penchant for coming across as rude due to his lack of normal socialization—something Adrien could, unfortunately, relate to.

Adrien decided to take XY’s question in good faith and answered, “I think I’m probably bi.”

XY cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean you think you’re bi? Isn’t that something you just know?”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably under Xavier-Yves’s scrutiny. “I think it’s confusing because the media really only shows men and women ending up with one another, so that’s how I thought it had to be when I was growing up. I didn’t realize guys were actually an option until later, and I’ve mostly just been interested in girls so far. I mean, I can tell if a guy is attractive, but Luka’s the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to in practice, not just in theory.”

XY blinked several times, trying to parse Adrien’s response. “…So…you’re bi?”

“At least as far as Luka’s concerned,” Adrien confirmed with a shrug.

“You make my head hurt,” XY announced. “You’re just thinking about it too much.”

“Maybe,” Adrien chuckled, musing that XY might have accidentally stumbled upon the truth.

Xavier-Yves shook his head. “I’ve always known I was gay. I never even looked at girls as a kid.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “I-I’m sorry. I always assumed you were bi. Well…after I found out about your feelings for Luka, anyway. Until then, I thought you were straight.”

XY rolled his eyes and waved dismissively. “That’s because my dad says I have to stay in the closet.”

Adrien’s jaw descended several centimeters. “He what?”

XY nodded, setting his laptop aside and angling more towards Adrien. “My dad says that gay doesn’t sell and that all of my fangirls will stop buying my music and coming to concerts if they find out I only like dudes, so I can’t tell anyone I’m gay.”

Adrien blinked dumbly, finding himself wondering if his own father would react similarly if he found out about Adrien being queer. A lot of people in fashion were, so maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal, but…somehow, Adrien got the feeling that Gabriel would probably prefer it if Adrien kept that fact to himself and found a nice female partner.

“…I’m sorry,” Adrien mumbled, suddenly seeing past the annoying, inconvenient aspects of XY to the very real person with problems and feelings and dreams underneath.

XY shrugged. “Is what it is. Just don’t you go tellin’ people.”

“I would never do that,” Adrien was quick to assure.

XY gave a snort as he nodded. “Good.”

“…So…you’re not allowed to date?” Adrien inquired, morbid curiosity getting the best of him.

XY shook his head. “Nah. Dad would flip. It’s okay, though. I’ve never been really into anyone before, so it was, like, whatever.”

Adrien’s eyebrow arched. “What about Luka? You seem pretty into him.”

“Luka’s different,” Xavier-Yves confirmed with a passionate punch to the words. “He’s the one, you know?”

Adrien dropped his gaze, wilting slightly because he knew that fact all too well.

“I’d come out, if he wanted me to,” XY continued. “I don’t know. Luka’s kind of quiet and private, so I don’t know if he’d want to make it all public, but he’d at least want to tell his friends who he was seeing, so it would get out there eventually. I wouldn’t care, though. He’s worth it.”

“You really care about him a lot,” Adrien whispered.

“You bet I do,” XY insisted. “You know how annoying and dumb I am.”

Adrien’s head jerked up at the blatant self-deprecation.

“Not a lot of people like me. A lot of people pretend to because they want something, but they don’t actually like me,” XY snorted.

Adrien suddenly felt a chill at hearing circumstances that so closely echoed his own.

“Luka didn’t like me at first, and he had a good excuse not to, but instead of telling me to get lost when I came to ask him to teach me about loving music, he put up with me,” XY recounted with a soft look of gratitude and affection in his placid blue eyes.

“He was really patient, and he taught me and helped me be a better person. My dad taught me a lot of bad things.” His eyes dropped to the floor as he confessed his past shortcomings. “I didn’t know they were bad until Luka told me so…so I owe him a lot. I’d do anything for him.”

Adrien nodded passively, averting his gaze as he wondered if Luka wouldn’t be better off with XY than himself.

Xavier-Yves could give Luka fortune and industry contacts, and while “Roth” wasn’t the most well-liked surname in Paris, it was worlds ahead of “Agreste” which had become synonymous with “dirt” a month previously when Papillon’s identity had been revealed.

Maybe Adrien should step aside romantically and focus on being a good, supportive friend to Luka.

“I’d do anything for him,” Xavier-Yves repeated solemnly, “…even if that meant bowing out and supporting his happiness with you.”

Adrien’s head jerked up again, and he gaped at XY in disbelief. “What?”

XY shrugged. “The most important thing is that Luka is happy, yeah?”

Adrien nodded, still not understanding. “Yes. Absolutely. But…what does that have to do with me?”

XY shook his head. “You’re important to him. We’re both really important to him. I can’t tell you how many times he’s asked me to try to play nice with you these past few weeks because he wants us both in his life, and he wants us all to get along.”

Adrien’s lips rounded into a small “o”.

XY nodded. “I want him to be happy. Even if you win, I want him to be happy, so I’m gonna try to be friends with you because it’s important to Luka.”

Adrien slowly began to nod. “Okay. I can’t promise I’ll ever really like you much, but I’m going to tolerate you for Luka’s sake. So, let’s make this work, okay?”

“Deal,” XY agreed with a wide grin, holding out his fist to Adrien for a fist bump.

Chuckling, Adrien leaned forward and touched his fist to XY’s.

“…So,” Xavier-Yves remarked after the moment had passed. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

Adrien shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“How good’s your English?” XY asked, grabbing his laptop and opening up his video library.

“Not fluent, but I should be able to watch a movie without subtitles,” Adrien replied, moving to sit next to Xavier-Yves.

XY looked up at Adrien and tipped his head to the side. “You ever heard of Abbott and Costello?”

Adrien frowned, searching his memory banks. “…The comedy duo?”

XY nodded enthusiastically, a wide grin quickly spreading from one cheek to the other. “They’re super dope. You’ll love them. Let’s watch In Society. It’s got one of my favourite routines.”

“All right,” Adrien easily agreed, reasoning that he owed it to Luka and himself to make an effort. “Sounds good.”

A little over an hour later, Luka returned to find Adrien and Xavier-Yves in a pile on the couch, leaning on one another to keep themselves upright as they chortled, “He’s not dead, Lady! He’s hiding!”

“I see you showed him Abbott and Costello?” Luka remarked, announcing his presence.

XY pushed himself up to grin adoringly at Luka. “Yeah. We were just thinking about watching another. Wanna join us?”

“Sure,” Luka chuckled, coming around to their side of the couch.

Adrien scooted over to make room for Luka between himself and XY.

“After all, it’s not every day that two of my best friends are able to spend time together without wanting to kill one another. We should do something to celebrate,” Luka reasoned.

“We’re not that bad. We just…verbally snipe at each other sometimes,” Adrien giggled, quickly snuggling up to Luka at exactly the same moment XY wrapped his arm around Luka’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” XY seconded. “The only friend of yours I want to kill is that Jacob loser.”

Luka groaned, rolling his eyes.

Adrien lifted his head to look around Luka at Xavier-Yves. “Jacob?”

XY nodded. “That bassist in his band. He’s Luka’s ex.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. “We can’t be civil with Luka’s exes?”

XY’s eyes narrowed. “Jacob’s one of the four he slept with.”

“Oh,” Adrien replied flatly, his opinion abruptly changing.

“Yeah. Those ones are dead to me,” Xavier-Yves snorted.

“Can we not talk about my love life?” Luka sighed, tipping his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It’s really not that interesting. Let’s watch the movie.”

XY clicked his tongue. “I beg to be different. I am super interested in the people you’ve slept with.”

“Prune,” Luka groaned. “Drop it. I’ve been the adult in this household since I was ten. I’m allowed to sleep with whomever my little demi heart loves.”

“Would you sleep with me?” XY wondered curiously.

Luka’s cheeks flushed as he pointedly avoided Xavier-Yves’s gaze. “No comment.”

“Would you sleep with him?” XY pressed, jabbing a finger at Adrien.

Luka choked on air, making a wheezing sound of distress.

“No comment,” he managed with some effort.

“How about a threesome?” Xavier-Yves suggested amicably.

Adrien burst out laughing, snuggling in closer.

“For the love of whatever you hold sacred, start the movie already before I strangle you,” Luka pleaded.

“I could be into that,” XY replied, waggling his eyebrows.

Luka threw his hands up in the air, exclaiming, “Aaaaah!”

This caused Adrien to laugh even harder.

XY joined in.

#Lukadrien #LuXY #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Luka Couffaine #Xavier-Yves Roth #XY #Love Rivals #Fluff #Slow Burn #Friends to Lovers #Pining #Mutual Pining #Broken Families #Lukadrien June 2021 #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Your Hands Hold Home

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

Text

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Harada After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.

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i don’t really play rhythmic music games... but i gotta say, Deemo Reborn was amazing. my heart is feeling very hurt right now. highly recommend it.

Anyway, this is my translation of the Harada story from the Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth pre-order bonus booklet「薄桜鬼真改華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典小冊子 (....I should really make the Japanese on these particular posts of mine uniform), which was translated from Chinese as always.

Kinda sad that it’s taken me so long to get to finishing these when I consider how the very first translation on my tumblr was for the Saito story and when i posted that... ahahahaaaaa...... lol. *facepalm.*

Now that this is done, that just leaves the stories for Souji and Heisuke (of which i have now queued) since I don’t have translations of the after stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, and Sakamoto (have scans for them should anyone want to translate them or commission someone else to translate them).

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Hakuoki Shinkai: Hana no Shou Stellaworth Pre-order Bonus Booklet After Story - Harada Sanosuke

Translation by KumoriYami

The boundless sky and horizon——

The war between the old Shogunate's forces and the New Government Army, and the fighting between humans and oni, had nothing to do with the country on the other side of the sea. And it was in that place, a [certain] man and woman were [now] living.

The man's name was Harada Sanosuke, former Tenth Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. While the woman in love with him was the young female oni who had decided to leave Japan with him, Yukimura Chizuru.

After Harada finished his daily firewood delivery, he rode back towards his beloved at home. Ever since coming here, his riding skills have improved by a lot.

After leading the horse back to the stable, he opened the door of this house, which looked a bit lonely in this cold weather.

"Yo, Chizuru, I'm back."

Chizuru, who was leaning over from where she was sitting down in a chair and mending clothes, lifted her head with a smile.

"Welcome back, Sanosuke-san. How was it outside?"

"It's still the same. Although I've been mentally prepared for a while, the coldness of winter here really can't match the degree of coldness in Kyoto."

As Harada spoke, he curtly sat down on his chair. The old chair looked as if it were to collapse at any moment, and made a creaking sound.

"But, it's thankfully very warm at home, right?"

Although it was difficult living in a foreign country where there was a language barrier, Chizuru wasn't the slightest bit dissatisfied, and was still smiling from ear to ear as she responded to his words.

Her appearance made him feel that he would never be able to fully express how thankful he was. Harada, who always felt a little ashamed about this, lightly tousled his hair.

"Nn...... indeed.”

Chizuru who finally finished mending the clothes, then quietly stood up.

"Please wait a bit. I'll go make you some tea."

"No need, I'll go make the tea, you go and rest.”

"But...…"

"Your body isn't just your own, so don't force yourself...… alright?”

The tone of his voice was slightly more forceful, which was why she sat back down into her chair again.

"Since that's the case, I'll leave it to you. Sanosuke-san.”

"Yosh! Just look forward to it, and watch me make you a delicious cup of tea.”

After, he tried copying the way that Chizuru made tea——.

"......Ah, sorry, I wanted to make tea like how you usually do.”

The tea that Harada made, was one that someone would have a difficult time calmly drinking. Having seen that, Chizuru made a new cup for him, which tasted quite good. The same tea leaves were obviously used, yet there was such a difference in the taste, and upon seeing this, Harada felt incredulous.

"Please don't worry about it. I'm already thankful for your intentions.”

"...…That so."

Truly, what a kind woman. once again Harada confirmed how kind she was.

When he was thinking about coming to this foreign country, she didn't utter a single complaint, and followed him in silence. Although this method was used to hide her from the oni clans that were pursuing her——.

(If she was born as a human, she wouldn't have had to bear such difficulties.)

Although he felt that Chizuru who had ended up with the Shinsengumi because of various reasons, it was why he tried helping her as much as possible, but it was in that period of time, that he found himself unable to look away from her. He didn't know when it started, but he felt that he was the only one to protect her.

(......No, she was no longer alone.)

As Harada thought this, he stood back up.

"Sanosuke-san?"

After she doubtfully called his name, Harada went over to Chizuru's side, bent his knees slightly, and then placed his hand on her lower abdomen, where a new life was.

"Ah......"

Gently caressing this small and growing life, his heart was brimming with warmth.

(I never thought that I would have a family.)

Because of his rough personality, his hometown wasn't able to handle him, and all sorts of commotions occurred whenever he went somewhere, which was why he cut ties to the place he was born.

(Originally, I thought that I'd be a man who would live like a stray dog, then die alone.....)

He never thought that he would be able to find someone to fall in love with, the chance to start a family, or even have children.

As he gently caressed her now swelling lower abdomen, he worriedly asked a question.

"How's your body doing? I heard that you had a fever a while ago."

"I'm all right, the people nearby have given me plenty of advice."

"What about the language? Were you able to understand it?"

"I've been able to understand a bit more of it recently. Otherwise things will be expressed using body movements and pen and ink/writing.

"...…So it was like that."

Chizuru then placed her hand against Harada's. The soft heartbeat and his warmth were both able to reach her palm.

"Hey, Chizuru."

Hearing the way his voice called out, Chizuru tilted her head.

"As long as I have you and this guy, I don't need anything else. Not even life."

Those were his honest feelings, but the moment he said this, Chizuru's expression became very serious.

"Even if that's a joke, please don't say that. If Sanosuke-san dies, this child and I will not survive.”

He already anticipated Chizuru saying this, but——

"I'm not joking. Ever since I met you, and since we've become husband and wife...…. for the first time, I know that there are things in this world that are more important than my own life and ambitions.”

His words made her blush.

"This...…"

Just from looking at her expression, it was obvious that she thought he was being too serious, but Harada truly felt that what he wasn't an exaggeration. No, if only words were used to convey his inner thoughts, perhaps not even half of them would be conveyed.

Harada lovingly brushed Chizuru's hair which drooped to her shoulders, then spoke.

"Don't worry. I didn't plan to leave you and this guy to die behind. Even if it looks like that, I'm very confident about how I never give up in life."

"..….I believe you."

In response to his trust, she showed a smile that was brimming with confidence. Seeing her like this, Harada involuntarily smiled back.

---End---

for some reason, i translated track 5 of something... now done track 5 and 6 (of 6) for that drama lol.

unfortunately, i only got half-way through june for my queue... ugh dammit. still that’s a decent start i suppose tho last week was my last “allowance” time for translating since i anticipate getting a lot busier now... [btw, the 4th ginsei no shou chapter for Saito is at 40% and will be at that completion level for a looong while. will need to have my queue reach november before i can earnestly focus on that game again]... also, i’m going to assume that with school, most of my game translation videos will take longer to get done (dramas are fairly easy since timing isn’t difficult to set as there’s no text that i need to worry about).

on the plus side though, the yuugiroku dramas are now being moved via cmd... though for some reason, i can’t see half the on-screen text in the programs i use right now... including notepad, which i use for subtitles, and nimble writer, which is the program i use to write i’ve saved my translations in... and i can’t even view my files properly cuz i can’t see any of the folders or file names...

#hakuoki #hakuouki #Hakuoki Other Translation #harada sanosuke #Yukimura Chizuru #Hakuoki Short Story Translation #hakuoki shinkai

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amoret-the-leaf · 3 years

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Summary: Wei Wuxian is determined. After seeing his Lan Zhan yawning, yawning of all things, he makes it his mission to let his husband take a rest. Though, as with many things in life, it doesn't go according to plan. Many years had passed since the esteemed Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch had found themselves stuck in a cave on death's doorstep, confessing deeply rooted traumas to each other. Wei Ying would give everything he had and more to never let it happen again. Never. He was going to cherish Lan Wangji like he deserved, until the day he died.

Ship: Wangxian

Word Count: 5397

Author’s Note: This story is a result of MDZS/CQL frankencanon, and may contain differences in titles and ways of addressing due to subtitle variations. This work may not be completely accurate to Ancient Chinese and Xianxia culture. If something has been written inappropriately/offensively, please let me know!

This chapter contains:

Exhaustion, Hypothermia, Delirium

"IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!! HUG ME LAN ZHAN!!!"

The snow was fierce, blowing in strong gusts of wind that changed directions every few seconds. Thick snowflakes sat in everyone's hair, from the lovers leading to the group, to the juniors being nearly blown away trailing behind. Clearly (or rather, unclearly- it was very hard to see), this day was not going as Wei Ying had hoped. Had it, and they might've been dancing through the white-coated streets of Caiyi, where the sky was calm now, and the sun shone to melt some of the snow. A blizzard in Yuanwei was certainly not in his planned itinerary for the day.

They'd been sent off when Zewu-Jun arrived back in the Cloud Recesses, visibly distressed with several delayed letters of aid coming from the townspeople. A blizzard of questionable origins had been raging for about two days now, judging by the dates on the papers. A collection of them had been found just outside the borders of the place. When recalling the events of the night before to the Lan Sect Leader, the worst was feared. Had the people been... were they gone?

If so, they were dealing with something, or someone, much more dangerous than they'd hoped.

So Zewu-Jun sent out his brother, accompanied by Wei Ying, and a group of their finest junior disciples to look for survivors, or bodies of the dead. Whatever was left at this point. Though, what had yet to be explained, was why Jin Ling was trotting around and rolling his eyes at Wei Ying snuggling against up his lover.

"Roll your eyes all you want! I'm cold! What are you even doing here?!" The former Jiang disciple hissed, head half-covered by Wangi's long sleeve he'd been wrapped in. "Shouldn't you be doing Sect Leader things?! If we needed a Sect Leader, Zewu-Jun would've come with us!"

"Mind your business!" The teen snapped back, crossing his arms. "I'm studying in Gusu right now! Did you forget? We literally see each other every day!" Jin Ling... in the Cloud Recesses? That would explain why a wild Jin would be wearing white. But it wasn't exactly ringing a bell. "Why didn't you dress warmer anyways? You knew where we were going!"

"I am dressed warm! I have my warmest clothes on mind you! But it's still cold!"

"Then you're a baby."

"A-Ling... Maybe fighting with Senior Wei isn't worth it?" Sizhui intervened, giving the softest nervous smile he could. "All of us are still cold, the temperatures are below what most of us are used to. We should try to get this done as soon as possible."

So it was A-Ling now? Interesting... He and Sizhui would be having a talk when they got home. Wangji seemed to pick up on this too, sharing a look with the other before nodding.

"Well said Sizhui!" Wei Ying exclaimed, pacing around the group. "What a polite disciple! You should try to be more like him! Your uncle has corrupted your brain to be so aggressive! It's scary!" He jumped back to his lover in exaggerated fear when Jin Ling practically growled at him as a response.

"Can we get going now? Some of us would like to keep all our fingers and toes by the end of this." Jingyi complained, sarcasm being second nature to him. It was almost impressive. "It's cold, and this place is almost buried. I don't wanna be buried with it."

Normally, the Second Jade would at least point out the rude behavior. But the boy was right. People's lives could be on the line. So he took off his outermost layer of winter robes, gently placing the clothing around Wei Ying's shoulders. His husband's golden core was still weak in comparison to what it used to be, Wangji could manage in the cold if it meant swaddling the other. White was not his color, but seeing Wei Ying with embellished clouds covering his typical black and red combination reminded him of their student days back in Gusu. Back when they were carefree teenagers.

They had to move now.

So they walked. Trudging through knee-deep snow as wind whipped their faces, snow blurring their vision, and hoping they were still headed towards the right direction. Wei Ying tried to protest giving the extra layer back, but would only be met with, "You need it more." At least, it was something along those lines. Perhaps it changed, Wei Ying didn't focus on it too much. All he wanted was for his beloved to be taking a break.

They hadn't slept in. There was no time for naps or any trips out to Caiyi. No buying loquats in the marketplace or relaxing by the cold pond (too cold to go in!) or catching up over a meal with the kids. It scared him. Wangji looked exhausted; scary to think about, scarier to see.

Is this what it felt like? Being worried for your one true love? Did Lan Zhan go through this all the time? Standing there, watching, knowing he's too stubborn to ask for help or properly take a rest? They were more alike than Wei Ying would like to admit... and that was... Miraculous. Even through his worry, Wei Ying couldn't help but be enamored by the graceful beauty Wangji had. Intoxicating in the best way.

Thick, frosty flakes sat in his hair, looking so natural. So pristine, so tranquil. "Lan Zhan! How dare you look like a regal, captivating snow prince while the rest of us look like drowned rats!" The Yiling Patriarch whined. He wasn't wrong, damp, half-frozen hair clung together wildly in almost everyone's face. Yet Lan Wangji was immune, so to speak, still looking as handsome as ever. Even tired, he was radiant.

"Mn. Not true." The Second Jade replied.

Ah, an opportunity. "Oh? Is that so?" Wei Ying smirked, bringing his palms to rest cutely onto his frigid, rosy cheeks. "So there's an exception then? Someone who gets to be labelled as breathtaking as Hanguang-Jun? I envy them~"

"Sizhui."

Eh!? "LAN ZHAN!!!" Wei Ying cried, throwing his arms back down in a fuss. He could already hear the muffled snickers coming from the juniors still following behind. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY ME!!!"

"Lying is forbidden."

"WHAT!?!? LAN WANGJI!!!"

Oh how they laughed. The lot of teens quite honestly couldn't contain it anymore. Senior Wei had just been delivered a critical blow- that was hilariously overdue. Anyone could hear the moment Jin Ling dropped to the ground with a loud thump, sinking into the fresh powder as hysterical laughter spread throughout the group. Jingyi was barely hunched over on his knees, trying his very best to stay upright in the frenzy, huffing loudly every few seconds to get more air. The ever-mannered Sizhui only meekly turned away, giggling in a sort of shame.

But Hanguang-Jun took a hand to his husband's face. "Wei Ying is too bright. Too warming. He cannot be a snow prince. Has to be the sun. "

The Yiling Patriarch smiled brightly, spitting out a "take that!" to the group. "Is it because I make you melt, Ji-xiong?" He asked, playfully sticking out his tongue.

Still laying in the snow, Jin Ling covered his eyes. "Ew. I did not want to see that. Please never do that again."

Hanguang-Jun didn't seem outwardly amused, but Wei Ying could tell he was snickering at the remark (on the inside!). That is, until the Second Master Lan stepped forward once more. "No time for this. Advance."

With that, the disciples scurried back and followed. Even his husband seemed to get the message that his teasing time was regretfully over. Maybe Lan Zhan WASN'T laughing on the inside? Actually, he seemed so tense all of a sudden. Stiff as a board. When they'd arrived, he was his usual smittenly sweet self. Now it was like he was in a cultivation conference listening to the nonsense being spit by anyone who craved a sliver of attention. But he had seen him amused by it! So what just happened?

Sizhui, covertly speeding up behind Wei Ying, tugged on his sleeve. If he hadn't been half-expecting the kid to notice, he might've flinched. But A-Yuan was attentive. The subtle frown on the teen's face, the way his eyebrows lowered, and his lip sunk just a bit- Sizhui was worried too. And maybe, just maybe, Wei Ying was close enough to now be able to decipher his kid too.

Before either of them could try to get to the bottom of this, a quiet thunk was heard. Thunking wasn't the typical crunch of the snow now was it? Heads turned to Lan Jingyi, the origin of the sound. At the disciple's feet, something was peeking out. The group gathered around the unidentified object like ducklings, before digging into the fresh powder.

"It's... It's some kind of box?" Someone announced. Three of them lifted it up, but whatever was inside was buried at this point. Tipping it over, parcels containing cloths and pendants fell out. Many of them held the same, if not similar design to the tapestry previously hung in the Jingshi, and the symbol on their map.

"Well!" Wei Ying bent down, grabbing one of the pendants and sweeping snow off its print. "At least we know we're getting close!" He perked up, "And this wasn't buried deep. Someone was carrying this recently. Maybe even a few hours ago. Could've been a merchant, could've been a shopkeeper desperate to preserve their valuables. But it was abandoned here within the last 24 hours, so there's at least one person nearby."

Wangji nodded. But he kept the grim look on his face. It was always a possibility, but no one was happy when he added, "Check for bodies."

They dug around. No bodies. That was a relief. Whoever was out here, well, hopefully this meant shelter was somewhere, and still intact. Townspeople didn't have golden cores, they wouldn't make it long in this.

So they kept going. Wei Ying kept his eyes on Lan Wangji, and through his peripheral vision, watched as Sizhui and now Jingyi seemed to fret at the sight of their beloved Hanguang-Jun. If Jin Ling had any suspicions, he was doing so from afar, trailing behind with the very end of the group.

What was especially concerning, was that Lan Zhan didn't notice them. Really, Lan Wangji wasn't noticing their not-so discreet eyes piercing into him. He just kept walking.

But a hut, a hut on the hill, would draw attention away from that. A hut on a hill with a fire nonetheless, as smoke came out of the side of the place. The teens cheered, scurrying up closer, but never going past their Second Jade, who kept his simple pace. Luckily he seemed relaxed at the sight. Thank goodness, it was unbearable to see that side of him! Oh Wei Ying was definitely having a conversation with his lover about this later.

Wangji lightly knocked on the door. The loud screech of the bitter wind nearly drowned the voices inside the cabin out. But the door swung open. A woman put a hand to her chest, sighing with relief. "The cultivators have arrived!" She cried out. "Oh you're here, we're saved! We're saved!"

She pushed the door out wider. Groups of people could be seen sitting on the floor, the younger of which appearing to be swaddled in thin, scarce blankets. There was enough people crowded in this tiny house to... To fill a village! Oh!

All of them huddled around a tiny bundle of wood lit aflame in the middle of the floor. Just barely, it seemed, as it was more of a flicker than a flame. The Juniors were already taking care of that, a fire talisman sweeping through the air to get a brighter flame on the already charred wood. "Jingyi, Jin Ling, gather some wood." Lan Wangji instructed. "Sizhui, keep feeding the flame as best as you can."

The three nodded, immediately doing as they were told. Sizhui shielded the fire when the other two had opened the door. Still, the fire wavered, hanging on by what could best be compared to a loose thread. "Miss, what happened?" Wangji asked, in as few, few words as possible. At least that was normal.

"Hanguang-Jun," She started, slowly. "Hanguang-Jun, a few days ago, one of our youngest here, A-Bao, had wandered off. When he came back into town, he said he'd met a little girl." The woman's breath hitched, eyes welling up with tears. "H-He said this girl was friendly, and she wanted to play with him. A-Bao talked to her and... and he mentioned he liked snow. So the little girl promised she'd make it snow for him the next day."

It sounded like a fairytale, almost. "We thought... we thought it was a joke. But the snow came the next day. At the time, it was a coincidence to us. It's winter, we don't usually get a lot of it but it's not uncommon. But the snow never stopped!" She cried out, causing a few gathered by the fire to groan, or cover their ears. "It never stopped! We tried sending requests for aid. But every time we sent someone out, they came back, halfway to death's doorstep! No one could bear the journey! The last person to go out never came back! Sang Meng, our most talented in cultivation! A-Bao is his brother... So he went to fix his mess! Oh please, please!" The woman was kneeling now, gripping her dress, tightly. "Please help us, Hanguang-Jun! The boy might've died! We can't last like this!"

A spirit, most definitely. No curse could do this, and last he'd checked, Wei Ying wasn't aware of any large scale weather changing talismans. However, it would be unlikely this spirit would attempt to freeze over the town, and send a signal while its people were still alive. If it was out to kill, no warnings would be given. Therefore, it was not the spirit to have burnt the tapestry last night. Wei Ying's eyes glimmered with a realization. "Has Sang Meng ever created any original talismans?"

The woman nodded, vigorously. "He's been working on an altered fire talisman last I'd heard. Why?"

"He's alive, or, was. Last night. He could still be out there."

Everyone gasped. Some pulled each other close, some remaining more distant. The juniors were surprised, especially. But hope, hope was in the eyes of the townspeople. It was an all too familiar feeling. Wangji nodded, catching onto what his husband had eluded to. "Incident in the Cloud Recesses." He confirmed, though giving no other details. "Sang Meng could be alive. Most likely with the spirit now. I need to go."

...I? When had there ever been an I with them? The one person Wei Ying did not want of this house, and he was volunteering. "Lan Zhan-" He tried, but honestly, it was no use. He also, in good conscience, did not want to send the kids out in this, possibly to retrieve a body. Besides, his husband was already halfway to the door. "Lan Zhan!!! I'm coming with you! Wait for Xian-gege!"

"Wei Ying will stay here."

"Wei Ying absolutely will not. Silly Lan-er-ge."

They were both impossible to sway from these kinds of things. Righteousness was as much of a curse as it was a blessing. The Second Master Lan sighed, taking his beloved's hand. "Wei Ying is cold. The juniors are cold. They will stay here and help keep warm." He insisted,

Wei Ying huffed. Were they fighting? Was this a fight? No, Wangji was looking at him with those sweet big eyes of his. Guilt trap. It was a guilt trap, do not fall for it. They weren't fighting, Lan Zhan was worried. The other hated that. "Lan Zhan is cold too, he just won't admit it. This Yiling Patriarch is coming with you, and you cannot stop him!" With that, he continued for the door.

Wei Ying was set on this. These kids were absolutely not going to fight whatever was able to plague this whole place with a blizzard. It was definitely not the best idea to bring them, now that they had an idea of what was going on. But they could still help these people, hopefully not freezing in the meantime. "Oh, and A-Yuan, you're in charge. None of you are allowed to come with us, just make yourselves useful here. We're gonna go get the bad thing now! Don'tdoanythingstupidokaybyebye!" He beamed, ignoring the near horrified face of their son, and stepping out into the snow. His soulmate was already ten paces ahead.

Lan Wangji, just what was he not telling his A-Ying?

The woman, who Lan Sizhui now knew as Feng Jixiao, turned to face him. "So, are they always like this?"

A-Yuan laughed, timidly. There was only one word that came to mind to answer that, his beloved Hanguang-Jun's favorite phrase in the world. "Mn." He answered, closing his eyes. The disciple couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong, and that he was missing something very important here. But what...

Wei Ying panted, holding himself up on his knees. "Lan... Zhan... not so fast." He mumbled, getting no response. Or rather, if he did get one, he couldn't hear. The wind had grown louder since they'd gone inside. But it was just the two of them out here now, and Wei Wuxian was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with his husband. In this case, it had to come first. Spirit, rescue, whatever they were doing, his soulmate came first- and Wei Ying did not have a good feeling about this. No, not at all. Was Lan Zhan swaying?

They'd been walking for about an hour. Honestly, they probably strayed far away from their original direction long ago. Luckily, the two had a teleportation talisman to use if they started to freeze. Over an hour now, and still no sign of a boy. No taunting whispers of a spirit either. If they couldn't find this spirit, they would have to call for additional aid from the clan and evacuate the townspeople. The only reason they hadn't, well, those without a core had a slim chance of surviving long enough to get to safety. Yuanwei would bury itself, something that Wangji understood, and absolutely would not accep- Was Lan Zhan swaying?

No, Wei Ying couldn't give in to paranoia. The winds were strong, and his vision was blurred with snowflakes that would fall from his eyelashes as he blinked. He definitely was not seeing his husband sway as he walked. He wasn't noticing the way that his soulmate clenched his hands, stretching them in and out. What was it? Had he found A-Bao's brother? Was the sight too terrible to see? Wei Ying took his eyes off Hanguang-Jun for a moment, a fraction in time, to try and organize these frenzied thoughts of his...

Thud.

If a thousand snowflakes had fallen last evening, then the Heavens should be happy with what they'd brought down. The will of no deity or divine being ever deserved to take Hanguang-Jun down with it. But he was falling. By sheer adrenaline, Wei Wuixian was moving. As fast as any rules would forbid, he was moving. Across the sea of dusty white, he was going. But today, Wei Ying couldn't move fast enough. The Second Jade hit the ground, any and all color drained from his face. Lan Wangji was on the ground... a ground that began crackling and crunching underneath him. Snow didn't crackle like that. The Earth did not crackle.

They were walking on a lake. A fucking frozen lake for who knows how long. A frozen body of water they somehow had defied fate on until now. But now his soulmate was unconscious. He looked like he had DIED. How far out were they?! The ice was buried under the snow, Wei Ying couldn't tell! He couldn't see- FUCK!

"LAN ZHAN!"

An earth-shattering scream rang out, and god did he run. Wangji dipped below the surface and he ran. Wei Ying didn't even feel as though he was running. No, he was flying, as fast as humanly possible. The ice cracked beneath his feet as he ran, but he would not falter nor slip. The Yiling Patriarch did not stop as he dove just his hands into the freezing water. Thousands of needles shot through his every nerve, barely registering the white cloth he'd gotten ahold of. But once he saw it, he didn't hesitate. Wei Ying pulled. 'Please don't just be the headband,' he thought, desperately. He pulled and pulled with all the strength he'd worked to regain. Come on... come on! Lan Zhan!

Wei Ying fell back with a limp body in his arms. The former Jiang disciple didn't have time to even check if he was still breathing. They had to- he had to keep running! This ice absolutely not going to hold much longer. The teleportation talisman wouldn't be fast enough! He'd fucking play a life and death game of hopscotch across glaciers if he had to. Lan Wangji just fainted on him. He should've stopped him from coming. He should've said something sooner! This was all his fault!

Bichen. Wangji still had Bichen with him. Wei Ying was too weak to ride a sword, he didn't bring Suibian. But goddammit he was gonna ride this sword. WITH Lan Wangji. Unconcious. There were no other options. Bichen already had let him wield them once, a long time ago, so Wei Ying was eternally grateful when he was able to unsheathe the sword again. He threw it straight out, shaking hands gathering up the Second Jade, and hopping on.

Of course, he'd nearly fallen off right then and there. Bichen had taken a sharp swerve left to keep them on. Wei Ying adjusted his footing, and they were going at breakneck speed, on a dizzying, unclear path. He was on a moving tightrope, and could only hope when they eventually got to the ground, it was real ground. Solid, snow-covered ground. The wind hurt as they flew, but any pain in his hands was completely blocked out by frostbitten numbness and sheer determination.

They weren't high. He didn't feel like breaking any bones if they DID get lucky enough to not die from this. Wei Ying could only swing helplessly back and forth, trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Eventually, he'd more or less gone dry of spiritual energy and lost his momentum, and they tumbled off the sword, which came to a halt. Wei Ying wasn't sure if he closed his eyes, or they'd done that by himself. He really didn't want to watch himself die again.

There wasn't any cracking. So, one eye peeked back open. Trembling, he slammed down on the ground with his arm. Not slippery. Hard. No cracking sounds. No breaking. Lan Wangji was in his arms. Panicked relief swept over him as though he'd never experienced before. He could cry, hell, he was already close. But it was too cold. Icicles hanging off his face wouldn't help. "Lan Zhan." He whispered pushing his body over to his husband, turning the Lan on his back. His voice was raspy, and god was he tired. "Lan Zhan." He shook. "A-Zhan. Wake up."

He didn't. Wei Ying hunched over him, breathing hard. He took his finger's to the other's wrist, hesitantly. He really, really couldn't feel, though. The Yiling Patriarch's hands were ghostly white. Was Lan Zhan breathing? He thinks so? Fuck it, he'd do it anyway. Wei Ying used his entire body to press into the other's chest. Deep, strong rounds of pushing, with the scarce bits of spiritual energy he had left being infused into his husband.

Before he could do any mouth to mouth (much to his dismay), a pained groan escaped the Second Jade's throat. Wei Ying quickly moved back, gasping. "Lan Zhan?" He asked, lacing his fingers into his soulmate's hand. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to smack him too, but mostly kiss him. Instead, Wangji just turned over, harshly coughing. A small trail of water he'd breathed in fell onto the ground.

Glazed-over eyes stared back at him. The typical strong, striking gaze of the Lan's golden eyes looked more like they were dripping in honey. Wangji blinked, looking confused. "Wei Ying?" He asked, quietly. Wei Ying only nodded, bringing his unfeeling hand to Lan Zhan's face. Wangji looked as though he wanted to say more, but was simply too out of it. It didn't take much thinking to know that he was ice cold, colder than he was, even if Wei Ying couldn't feel it. They had to find shelter.

There was a tree nearby. Wei Ying trudged over with his own tired and bitterly freezing body and snapped off a thick, long branch. Leaning most of his weight onto his new walking stick, he swung Wangji's arm over his shoulders. "Lan Zhan, I'm going to carry you on my back, okay?" He spoke. Switching which hand he held his stick, he got the Second Jade's other arm around his neck. "Hang on for me, please."

Wei Ying had never said a genuine please in his life.

Wangji gave him no answer. Luckily, he seemed to comply, trying to hold his feet up, just a few centimeters off the ground, so they didn't drag. It was enough. Ideally, Wei Ying would be able to hold his legs, or just cradle the other bridal style in his arms once again. But this was not ideal, and he was exhausted. Wei Ying wasn't sure he'd stay upright without leaning against the stick. That, and he refused to stand on the ice again. If they were getting close, the stick would be the one being plunged into the frozen lake. Never would anyone think the Yiling Patriarch would be hunched over, stabbing the Earth with a walking stick with a frozen Hanguang-Jun on his back all those years ago. Yet here they were.

There was nothing to see but white. If only Wei Ying had more spiritual energy. The teleportation talisman they'd brought was just about useless now. Neither of them would have enough to use it- Lan Zhan's was far too important in keeping him alive. No signals would work in the blizzard either. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest decision for them to come alone. Then again, if all those kids had fallen into the ice... Wei Wuxian would never forgive himself. He'd never forgive himself for this.

...Wangji had closed his eyes again, head buried into Wei Ying's back as they walked. Was it a relief? Or was he- no, Wei Ying couldn't think about that. He was fine, for now. He WOULD be fine. When this was all over, fuck it, they were going on a break. A year-long break far away from any of this. No night hunting, no cultivation world. The Sects would just have to learn how to live without him and Lan Zhan solving all their problems. The world owed them it's kindness.

Heh, if he wasn't so blind, maybe things would be different. Maybe he could've married Lan Zhan all those years ago. Maybe the Burial Mounds could be the Yiling Wei Sect by now. Maybe Wen Qing and Granny Wen and Uncle Four would be sitting around a table as they feast. Or maybe they'd all be in the Cloud Recesses. Wen Ning would be perfect for this job, considering he's dead. He wanted to call him, in a desperate attempt, but Wei Ying knew he was in Lanling right now.

Maybe if he'd gotten Jiang Cheng out of that damn Wen prison earlier... They'd both have their cores. Maybe he wouldn't have walked his single-plank bridge. He could be sitting in Lotus Pier right now, and Shijie...

A cave. A cave?

He was hallucinating. That definitely wasn't the entrance to a cave. Oh, but it was too good to pass up. For Lan Zhan's sake, he'd have to hope it was real. Slowly sweeping through the mountains of white wet shit, Wei Ying put a hand to the outside rock wall of the hallucinated cave. Solid. Solid? It was real.

The inside was dark, damp, and depressing. Not the first cave they'd be stuck in, unfortunately. This one at least looked a little different, ice hanging from the ceiling in certain spots. But the cave- it was also deep. Deep enough to hide away from the whirring wind outside, and finally sit down with the Second Jade. He didn't waste a moment to pat his hand on the other's cheek, even if his own bones screamed at him. "Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, you can't sleep anymore." Wei Ying spoke, soft, and hurriedly. "Lan Zhan. Open your eyes."

Those golden, honey glow eyes fluttered once more. "Wei Ying." Lan Wangji repeated, as if picking up where he'd left off before. Just by the way his head rested off the cave wall, Wei Ying could tell he was dizzy. "What-"

"I'd like to ask you the same question, Mister 'I'm fine I don't need a break' and 'let's faint on my husband'." The other bit, not exactly meaning to be harsh about it. Still, it probably came off that way. "You. You fainted. What the hell have you been doing? Why won't you talk to me?" Stop. He wasn't angry. Why was he saying these things?

'I'm sorry.' Wei Ying thought, his breath hitching. 'I'm so sorry for not doing something sooner. I let you fall.'

"I..." Wangji really, REALLY looked tired. But Wei Ying couldn't let him sleep. No, not until he warmed up, even just a little. Otherwise, he might never wake up again. "I can't tell... Wei Ying. I can't tell him." The Second Master suddenly shot upright, grasping at Wei Ying's clothes. "You won't tell him, will you? Please don't tell him."

Oh, that wasn't good. That wasn't good at all. Deliria? "...I won't tell him." Wei Ying answered back, sadly. He shuffled on the floor. That walking stick was about to come in hand. "I won't tell him anything... but we need to get you warmed up." Snapping the stick into three... four smaller sticks, he sprinkled them on a dry spot. Luckily, there was another tree right outside the cave entrance. So Wei Ying had taken Bichen once again, the sword being much heavier this time and chopped up bundles of logs. He came back to the same, mumbling Lan Zhan seated in the exact same place.

He had a fire talisman. Not that he couldn't start one on his own, but this was way easier. Plus, he didn't need spiritual energy for this one. A bit of his tinkering had come to the rescue. Fire talismans were one of the easiest to alter, he'd found. But if that kid had sent a strategic fire all the way to the Cloud Recesses, well, he was a bit of a genius. His rescue would have to wait, though.

The fire caught, blazingly. Sticking his hands over it made them feel as though they were melting back to some degree of normal. "Lan Zhan, I'm gonna move you closer to the fire, okay?"

He didn't get a verbal response. But he did get a pout, and puffed out cheeks. That couldn't help but make him laugh. "Ah Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," He spoke, carrying his lover and plopping him on the ground, for him to then lean against Wei Ying's body. "Is Lan Zhan five? No, that can't be it. How about three?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood.

What didn't Wangji want to tell him? He couldn't be sure. All he could do was gather them up and throw them into the fire. Dissipate, burn and disintegrate and fly away. Make like a bird and fly away.

Hanguang-Jun was down. They had no idea where the spirit was. The Juniors and all the townspeople were waiting for them. Sang Meng's survival was looking less and less likely by the minute.

Lan Zhan was down.

"Shijie," He looks up, frowning, "Xianxian doesn't know what to do now."

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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I'm sure others will ask this but what are you thoughts on the episode of SCK?? I love your in-depth analysis lol. I personally loved it!!! Also can I just say that the edser/hanker chemistry is off the charts lol. If this was the first episode I watched ever, without subtitles, their scenes would be a giant neon sign that says "THESE CHARACTERS ARE MADLY IN LOVE!!!". Eda was beyond cute/in love/adorable in this episode with serkan, girl has got it bad and I wish she didn't have her stupid grandmother and these insecurities in the way ahhh. I really love the Ayfer/Aydan duo, they're fun when they're together and Ayfer wasn't annoying like the last few EPs. Also, Balca can go choke lol, I'm so glad Serkan didn't fall for her trap for him to stay over!! He was like nah come to the party (my girl is waiting!!!). Was serkan about to tell Eda that he had to stop by her house? He seemed really nervous. ANYWAYS, I love EdSer and am going to go watch their scenes 1000x before next week 😭🥰

Thank you! I love Edser too!!!! Like you, I enjoyed this episode, though it was despite some of the narrative issues (that I posted about here.) There were good, meaty Edser scenes, which is why I watch this show. Once again I'll start with the non-Eda/Serkan thoughts and then get to the feelsy stuff at the end.

Babaanne's introduction did not disappoint. The actress has the right energy for the role. I guess we now know why Eda has been adamant about cutting her out of her life, Babaanne is next level controlling and vindictive. We'll have to see how she develops and what her endgame motives are. Does she want her revenge more than she wants her granddaughter and daughter in her life? Or does she think if she wins and arranges everything including an advantageous marriage for Eda, Eda will eventually go along and decide it's awesome and reconciliation will come about that way? *evil laugh* She doesn’t know her granddaughter at all if she thinks that’s a possibility.

(more under the cut)

I enjoyed her non-Balca scenes, especially when she was going toe-to-toe with Eda. That scene in Serkan's old upstairs office was intense, both actresses really brought it and kudos to Eda staying true to her defiant character. No one pushes her around. Prepare yourselves to see her waver a bit, I'm sure it's quite jarring to see your loved one in jail and know that he's there because of you, but she'll get to the point of fighting beside him. I have no doubt.

It was nice to see Ayfer protecting Aydan and Seyfi, it made for some great comedy and it was a good change after all of Ayfer's annoying, unrelenting negativity in general and about the Bolats. We'll see what happens between the two now that they appear to be vying for Chef Alexander's attention. Nesilhan just cracks me up when she's portraying Aydan play acting, the stilted voice she takes on is always hilarious to me, like when Ayfer was introducing "Aisun" to Serkan. As we move forward, though, I want to see some badass Aydan. She was introduced to us as a force of nature, so I hope we see that woman, a woman who will go to the mat for her son and Eda, emerge at some point. No hiding from Babaanne long term. Everyone needs to gear up to fight!

Peril and Engin got married! Their scene at home was really well done and gave me a bit better insight into them and why they might work. The only thing I was disappointed about here was that Serkan was not their witness. He counts them as some of his only friends and they didn't call him? Come on, show! They could have easily structured the ep to have him get the call while there was chaos at his loft that morning and it would have been the perfect excuse for him to grab Eda and head to the wedding leaving the moms and Babaane to Chef Alexander. It wouldn't have changed anything about the episode because Eda still could have gone to do her thing after the wedding and everything else would have been the same, except it all would have had a bit more heart. Missed opportunity there.

I've decided that Ferit is a catch. At the beginning of the show he was just so naïve, that he seemed foolish, but he's really turned into a sweet, upstanding man. You hold on to him, Ceren. The irony in his relationship with Serkan is just outstanding to me, because ALL of this started because Serkan was willing to upend his own life (and Selin, Ferit and Eda's) will the sole goal of keeping Ferit out of his business, and now here we are 24 episodes later, Selin is long gone, Eda is the love of his life, and Ferit has turned into a solid, trust-worthy business partner and friend who is putting Babaanne in her place on the first day. Love to see it.

Balca, that snake just gets more unhinged as we go along. Good GAWD. WTF is wrong with her? Her eventual comeuppance better be big. I'm really to the point that I can't enjoy any scene that she's in, it's just too maddening, because neither Serkan nor Eda are taking her seriously enough. Which I realize they don't know what we know, but dang I hope Serkan is finally connecting the dots because her behavior is not normal. As Eda says, who gives a gift like that to their boss? Who calls their new boss instead of the police when there's an intruder in the house? By now he should be able to figure out she's manipulating him.

Also how was she not daunted when she called and Eda was there? What did she think would happen when he came to get the gift when he had Eda to get home to? On top of everything else she's shameless and delusional. As for the gift, that was creepy AF. Did she seriously think that her boss, who she's known a week, would be romanced by that? Or any man for that matter? Did Selin give her the impression he was so arrogant that this would be the perfect thing for him? As much as I want less of her on screen, I would like to know the thought process behind that embarrassing monstrosity. Because it was not a savvy move. But the good news is that no one was more creeped out by it than Serkan Bolat. It seemed to really unsettle him, which it should. It was nice to see Eda getting over her jealousy, perhaps that came with her decision to try and move forward. Before she was in this state of flux, deep-down wanting Serkan to be hers, but not being able to admit that and feeling an outside threat during that confusion.

I saw some criticism of Eda because she was openly mocking and dismissive of Balca. However, while I agree her behavior was a tad immature at times... Balca was totally asking for it. She's been at the company for mere days and her weird, manipulative, obsessive behavior is totally inappropriate. Also if she didn't take a hint from Eda opening mocking her, Eda picking out her gift from Serkan, Serkan deferring queries about his NYE plans to Eda, Eda being at his house when Balca called, I think we can safely say that Balca in unaffected by any of Eda's behavior, thus Eda isn't hurting anyone. While Balca is over here, claws out, trying to start a war. Balca is the villain here, not Eda for recognizing and making fun of it.

Despite the emotional inconsistencies between Eda and Serkan in this episode, during one scene they were hot, the next, one or the other was cold without rhyme or reason, there were many great conversations. I really enjoyed their conference room scenes in particular. Serkan confident and calming her down, Eda being enraged by Babaanne, but listening to him and letting him calm her down.

His little Eda Bolat coffee cup gag was priceless, he did succeed in both diverting her and flirting with her in one suave move. Also a nice bit of foreshadowing there, which there was a lot of this episode. Not just this and the bouquet catch, but also every single one of their domestic scenes.

As I said in this post, the rewrite, or whatever happened this episode, did cause some pretty big emotional inconsistencies from scene to scene. I know most people loved the scenes when Eda went to find Serkan, but it was a little whiplashy for me. We go from Serkan being calm and collected and happily flirting with her about being Eda Bolat at the office, to a short time later him being moody and standoffish with her at his house? It's understandable that he would be upset at her suggestion that she leave the company, but I would think the man that broke her heart for her own good, would understand why she might think of leaving in order to get rid of someone who is threatening him!

It just felt like a weird time for him to hit his threshold with her, especially since this was when they were supposed to be heading to Paris (huge writing fail that there was no "Oh I guess we have to postpone Paris" throwaway line). However, perhaps that was accelerated for him in the face of a real threat? Like if it was just another day he's fine with her waffling and their little contract game, but he feels in his bones that this is go time and he needs to find out if she's ready for what's coming? (Look at me finding reasons for the inconsistencies as I answer this ask, lmao).

Then the shaving scene was interesting. She starts by saying "Leaving was a dumb idea, I'm still here, I'll be by your side," which YAY and seems to me to be a huge step forward for her.... but then he doesn't feel it. Why exactly, didn't he feel it? So then she transitions to the biggest head scratcher of the episode for me, and I really hope it's a translation fail. She basically references the movie they saw and says, "If I could erase all memories of you, I would." Um... what? Is she really saying to him she wishes they never met? I sure hope there was some modifier in there, like "bad" memories only or something. It seemed way harsh and inconsistent with their feelings for one another. However, once he starts talking about being a machine before meeting her and his heart being too heavy without her, the dialogue is pretty great. He really bares his soul and she reciprocates with intimacy. The second half of this scene is absolutely lovely.

The visit to Aydan's house was interesting. At some point I'm gonna need Aydan and especially Ayfer to step up when it comes to Babaanne. Ayfer ran scared the whole episode and it's just not fair of her to leave the burden on Eda. Hopefully, she'll get there. There was a reason Babaanne told Eda not to tell Ayfer about the threats, and threatened harm to Serkan and family if she did so. I'm guessing Ayfer may be better equipped to deal with her mother than was suggested in this episode. The conversation about Eda running from her grandmother as a child and losing the bracelet was very affecting and well done, and thankfully Serkan was out of his sulky mood and in full-on supportive boyfriend mode. Phew, good to have you back, Serkan.

That throne Babaanne brought in was something else. Worth a good laugh. However, I feel like it highlights a few cracks we've already started to see in Babaanne's scary façade. First, there's the one I just talked about, with Babaanne not wanting Ayfer to know what she's up to, so we now know who might be successful in opposing her or might know things that could shut her down.. her daughter. Then this ridiculous throne move had to be her way of unsettling everyone, but as we see that fails with Serkan. He's pretty unflappable when it comes to her nonsense antics.

Then Babaanne singles out Balca as her ally, which on one hand, it was astute of her to figure out who was the outsider, ripe for the picking, but she straight up choose the wack job, who let's face it, is not going to be all that competent of a foot soldier for her, because she has no allies and she's not in anyone's confidence. Plus she made that critical error with the present being so off-putting to Serkan. Balca might be able to cause problems, but she can’t get Serkan to transfer his affection for Eda onto her, so her usefulness here is limited. Babanne needed to try and fool someone like Melo, Ferit or Leyla. Prey on the nice ones who might try to be accommodating just so everyone gets along.

Anyway, I loved the Edser scenes in the office, he brought her lemon water! My heart. And I loved the meeting with the inner circle. Serkan has a plan! Of course our boy does, he wouldn't be Serkan Bolat if he didn't. It's always fun to see how much they all trust him to lead them through these tough times. He will once again emerge victorious. It just may take some time on this one

Note Blaca wasn't invited to that meeting, someone already can sense she can't be trusted. In the meeting later with Babaanne, I loved how Eda was sitting next to Serkan at the head of the table, totally squared off against her grandmother. That blocking was not by accident. It showed them facing her. On the same side. Together. United. That's what we call foreshadowing and that's how they're ultimately going to defeat her. Together.

It's interesting to me that earlier in the day when Eda tells him maybe she should leave the company he gets upset, but when she shows up at his house and straight up says they can't be together, he's completely calm and is his normal confident self, talking her into staying the night with his usual ease. I'm thinking her manic rambling about him getting tired of her and her grandmother separating them was just too obvious of an emotional spiral after an exhausting day (that lasted 47 years and multiple wardrobe changes) so he didn't take any of it to heart.

As for the reason she needed a place to stay, WTF is Ayfer doing letting Babaanne stay in their home?? Kick her out for the love of God. I don't mind, since it gave us this fabulous sleepover, but come on woman, at one time you were strong enough to remove your niece from her which could not have been easy, where is your backbone now? Find it. Fast.

LOVED LOVED LOVED every second of domestic Edser. How cute are they? Serkan wheeling her dinosaur suitcase was so adorable. And how cute is it that he bought hot chocolate for her? And THEN, THEN when they went to look at the stars? My heart melted clean out of my chest when he said, "I'm already looking at the most beautiful star." Remember in 13 when he asked her, "How are you real?" and she basically told him to be careful or she'd get spoiled and expect that kind of romance all the time? Well apparently the romantic robot has an endless capacity to generate heart-stopping one-liners so she really needn't have worried.

Eda's phone call with the girls was another whiplash moment for me. So wait... all episode her trepidation has been around her grandmother interfering or Serkan getting tired of her, but now she's back to wondering if he can change? Ne? And she isn't articulating what she wants him to change, or talking to him about change at all, only asking her friends if they think it's possible?? The change thing made perfect sense to me in eps 20-22, because she was coming off of his lie that broke her heart, but now I can't figure out what she wants from him. I think this is another casualty of whatever writing changes happened in this episode. I really hope the writers pull it together and figure out what the character's headspace is and stick with it. It's one thing to yo-yo from episode to episode, but to yo-yo scene to scene is too much.

I know that they're trying to create suspense for whether she would meet him to ring in the New Year, and start fresh, but there are much more elegant ways to do this than constant retread conversations that don't make sense in context with the scenes that came before. Honestly, this episode had a LOT of wonderful scenes and humor and heartfelt moments, but it also felt like a franken-episode, like if different writers were assigned different scenes and then they assembled the episode without going back to smooth out the tone and emotions.

That leads us to Serkan discovering Eda in the bath. What do we think was going through his mind there? lmao. He looked exceptionally pleased and he did the jokey flirty thing, taking a mental picture, but then when she comes downstairs in her jammies, he has gone into stone-cold work robot mode. I suppose the best I can guess is that he knew she was confused, he knew he had convinced her to stay under the guise it would be platonic and the "last time."

He's always been a gentleman with her. So perhaps he felt compelled, for her sake, to keep it in that place, but seeing her in the bath send him into overdrive and the only thing he could do is throw himself into work to make sure the situation didn't go any further before she was fully ready? That's my best attempt at explaining it. Still she was flirting hardcore with him when she came downstairs, it feels like that was the moment he's been waiting for since episode 19, and he let it sail by. Ah well, at some point soon both their engines will be revving at the same time and we’ll finally get to the sexy times.

The next morning was 100% adorable. Serkan Bolat serving breakfast in bed. I swoon! What a sweetheart, because I'm pretty certain that Serkan does NOT like crumbs in his bed so this was a big gesture. And you could see how much she appreciated it, despite teasing him about the portion size. Eda, that breakfast would have been just fine by me, but if the girl has a big appetite, so be it.

Also, Edacim, it would be a lot easier to buy your "confusion" if you hadn't brought him a heartfelt gift that would have taken a good while, like weeks, to procure and then sketched in it for him!!!! She had to have been planning that for some time. Anyway, a very sweet gift and one of those moments where actions speak louder than words. We all want to hear Eda say the words "I Love You," but she just said it very loudly here in the form of this gift. Even if she wasn't fully aware she was saying it. It's obvious where her heart is, she just has to give herself permission to follow it.

This ep also brought the funny when half the cast of characters barged in on Edser’s little love nest. Good for both Eda and Serkan for refusing to be a part of the subterfuge for Babaanne. I'm hopeful we're going into a secret relationship/engagement storyline, but at this point I like that neither were cowing to her. Eda is an adult and it's nobody's business but her own where she stays the night!

It cracks me up that Eda and Serkan were discombobulated by the intrusion, had the silent #married conversation, and headed upstairs together. Mostly because they are the two in the dark, what are they going to figure out by going upstairs alone? What they really needed was to talk to any of the other people to find out what in the hell was happening. Not that I blame them for wanting to escape that scene together. However, what was beautiful was their connection in these scenes. They were functioning as partners, as each other's person, as the one each turns to when they need support (or escape). And that's really saying something since they were in a room full of the people they're both closest too.

Finally, I'm glad they spoiled the final scene in the fragman, because I would have been too stressed watching Balca's psychotic efforts in keeping Serkan away from the party, and Eda, if I hadn't known he would make it. As it was, it was too much to watch. They've done absolutely nothing to make her even a little sympathetic. I feel zero empathy for her, I don't understand why she's willing to take these risks. No man is worth it, girl! Especially not a man you just decided you wanted because of his initials! The character needs to serve her purpose and go. Soon.

As for Serkan making it in time, THANK GOODNESS. I don't think Eda could have handled being stood up again. Even taking her call was a mistake. That's why we have voicemail, Serkan. And clearly he should have called the police on his way. I sincerely hope that he finds out the break-in was a fake and that's what makes him realize what level of crazy he's dealing with. I assume, because he didn't know what else to do, he left Balca in his home and that's what he wanted to tell Eda right before the police arrived. I shudder to think what damage she might do there alone. Installing a hidden mic or camera for Babaanne? Going through his things? Planting more items. Ew. If that spec is right the place will need to be fumigated.

Serkan's gift was, of course, perfection. Talk about love in gift form, and did you notice that one of the charms was an "E" and one was an "S"? A sweet, heart-felt detail and a nice little nod to which initials really matter on this show. Interestingly, after a full episode of inner turmoil, once Serkan arrived, Eda seemed to be all-in. She was bubbly and happy to see him and definitely acting like he was her date. And then the hug! Finally! They've obviously been physically close in recent post-break up episodes, for example elevator, pottery, dancing, skating, but what a relief to finally have this pure, intentional display of affection from her to him. Also a cheek kiss! This show, I swear it makes me grateful for the most chaste of moments.

As I said in another ask, I think the, "Will you be my girlfriend?" was in Serkan's head. We didn't see him say it, she didn't respond and the audio was hollow like it was a thought or memory or dream. However, what I can't answer is why we heard that. Why put it in there? We know he wants them to get back together, so that line doesn't inform the audience of anything they don't already know. So maybe proposal foreshadowing? On the other hand, there is the line earlier in the episode that was voice over added after the fact (when Edser are in the small conf room and Serkan says he’s going home) so maybe they added the audio after the scene for some reason? I don’t know with this episode anything is possible.

Then, of course, Babaanne ruins their moment with her evil plan. Next episode will she be sitting on her throne stroking a hairless cat Because it feel like Babaanne may like a bit of evil aura to surround her. Anyway, next stop... jail! I'm honestly excited to see how the next ep plays out. We're going to go through some things, so prepare your soul, but I honestly think we may end the ep in a better place. (new cliffhanger notwithstanding) We shall see.

#Edser #sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #sckask #sck 1x24 #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #Anonymous

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captain-yeet · 4 years

Text

Oh No, He's Hot - Ending

Subtitle: Till The End of Time

Summary; The trial is over now, but a new challenge arises. Immortality is a fate Y/N cannot escape from, tensions rise between covens as she has to make a choice, and will a new vampire join the Olympic coven?

Warnings: Swearing, so much angst, tension between some vamps and reader

Word Count: 2.7k words

Author notes: Thank you all so much for the support on this series! It did take me a while to finish this one but I’m glad I’ve finally written an ending I’m happy with! I have enjoyed writing it, I hope to you readers I did it justice and here’s to more Felix x Reader stories down the line.

A year.

You had one year of mortality left, so it had been decreed. There wasn't any fighting it - after all, your choices were slim. It was that or death, potentially by the hand of your own boyfriend if Caius had his way no doubt.

The movement against your back brought you out of your shell shocked state. You only just remembered that Felix was still standing by your side, and lifting your gaze up to his face you saw that he was speaking.

"... Don't know if I can do it," you caught the last string of his sentence as your senses slowly returned to you.

Who was he speaking to? you wondered. You couldn't be bothered to turn your head toward the other speaker, instead opting to bury your face into Felix's side. The arm around you tightened just a little bit more, his hand massaging your side in what you knew was an attempt to soothe you.

"Y/N?" Felix's concerned voice roused you.

Slowly lifting your head to meet him in the eye, you noted that he wore a rueful smile. A sadness has crept onto his perfect face and you wanted so badly to make that sadness disappear, to bring out that honest-to-all-hell ridiculously handsome smile of his.

"I'm afraid I have to go now," he informed you. As your eyes grew wide he cupped your face with his free hand. "This doesn't have to be goodbye, you hear me? It doesn't have to be at all."

Frowning, your slow human brain processes the urgent words that came from his mouth. "Are you... asking me to come with you?" You stood a little straighter, leaning back a bit but not enough that your embrace breaks. "To Volterra?"

He nodded, affirming the conclusion you were coming to.

“Like hell she is,” Rosalie glided over to join your side, glaring daggers at Felix. “She wouldn’t be safe.”

“Are you doubting my capabilities of keeping my mate safe?” he growled back with equal ferocity.

Rosalie stepped towards Felix, now inches away from his face. Emmett joined immediately and placed a hand of her shoulder. “They’ll use her! You may be part of that coven but you surely aren’t blind to Aro’s eagerness to collect people like her for his own gain.”

Jaw clenched, Felix didn’t give her a response, fueling Rosalie’s fire.

“Of course you know,” she spat, baring her teeth at him. Emmett pulled her back just a little, rubbing her shoulders. “Look at you, you’re not even denying it because you know.”

“I... I don’t know if Volterra is a good place for me,” you whispered, barely audible. Shaking your head vigorously, you reached up to cover your eyes. “This is so sudden, so soon.”

A year left to make the most of your mortal life, your humanity. It left you with so many questions running through your brain all at once and with no satisfying answers.

It only made you feel conflicted further when Felix’s face contorted in what you could only describe as pain. “Then... I have to leave.”

“Can’t you stay?”

“I wish I could, I wish-”

“Then what’s stopping you?” you cried, grabbing fistfuls of his clothing.

“Felix,” another voice interrupted, smooth and low.

You both turned towards the source. The tracker, Demetri, was there looking on with a sad expression.

“We have to leave now. Aro and Caius are demanding your presence immediately.” He told your mate, sparing you a quick, apologetic glance. “I’m sorry.”

Another separation. Your heart ached and you clung onto your lover’s clothing tighter, unwilling to yield on your hold. Trembling, you steeled yourself as best as you could and fixed a fierce gaze on Felix. “I am willing to become a vampire. I am, I’ve known this would come for some time now. But what I am not willing to do is become dear kindred with your masters.”

Felix took you by surprise by cupping your face with both his hands, stroking your cheeks gently. “Is there nothing I can do to convince you?” he whispered, low enough that the words were on for your ears. “I’ve waited so long for you, I can’t lose you.” He moved one of his hands to the back of your hair, pulling you closer so that there was no space between you two. “I can’t lose us.”

“Then please, there has to be a way we can go about our lives together.” The tears were beginning to fall freely, the wetness cool against your cheek in the cold winter air. “There’s always a way.”

Felix closed his eyes. Pressing a kiss gingerly to your forehead, he back away, releasing you. As your heart began to break, his parting words mended the forming cracks. “This is not goodbye. I refuse to let it be. I’ll figure something out. I beg you to keep faith in me Y/N.”

Once he and Demetri had vanished, you were frozen in place.

He better not break his word.

You traveled back to the Cullen’s home with a heavy heart. It was though a black fog had shrouded your mind, your heart, your very being. Of all the ways you expected to be reunited with Felix again, this wasn’t how you pictured it. You pictured happiness, elation, not the angst and dramatics of how you to parted ways.

You stood on the porch of the second floor, watching as everyone below you celebrated. Lost in your thoughts, you almost didn’t even register someone saying your name and touching your shoulder lightly.

Turning your head slightly, out the corner of your eye you saw someone who you didn’t expect to see; Edward Cullen.

“How’re you holding up?” he asked, a look of genuine concern etched onto his face as he studied you. “Things uh, looked like they got tense for you back there.”

You snorted, unable to help yourself. “You could say that.”

“I know we may not know each other very well,” Edward began, coming to stand beside you to lean over the railing, “but I just... wanted to say something.”

“Shouldn’t you be down there with Ren?” you pointed to the little girl who was currently dancing with her mother, giggling away happily.

Edward’s expression softened. “She’s okay, I know she’s safe.” He paused a moment. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“Of course you do, reading minds is your whole schtick, Ed.”

“I know you’re afraid, and doubting everything. Your decisions, Felix, yourself even.”

He’s in my head! “Edward,” you warned him, eyes squeezing shut as if that would block him out of your thoughts.

He ignored your warnings, however. “Look Y/N, all I’ll say is this. If that... man, loves you as much as he says he does, he’d do anything for you. I don’t approve of course -”

You interrupted him with a snort. “Oh I’m aware,” you replied, your voice sardonic. “That didn’t stop me from loving him though.”

Edward sighed. Pushing himself off the railing, he opened his mouth to speak when his eyes changed from a look of exasperation to a cold distant stare.

“Edward? What’s wrong?” you watched as his nostrils flared and his lips pressed into a tight thin line.

“Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear,” he quoted grimly, storming away from you and leaping over the balcony.

You spun on your heel and bolted through the Cullen’s home, sprinting down the stairs and almost skidding on the ice as you hurried to see what ticked Edward off so badly. You saw him with his back to you, standing defensively in front of his wife and child as he faced the forest line that surrounded the house. Night had begun to fall so you could barely make out anything within the trees other than darkness.

Until a figure came forward.

A familiar tall figure, who no longer donned the medieval robes and stepped forward wearing a thick jacket and trousers.

Your body moved before your brain could even respond. Running past the Cullens, you practically threw yourself into the tall vampire’s embrace. “What are you doing here?” your voice came out in a sob, both elated and fearful that he was going to leave again.

“Taking what’s mine,” came Felix’s reply, arms instantly wrapping themselves around you, holding you tight.

“Felix,” you heard Edward call out.

Turning around in Felix’s hold so you could look at the golden-eyed vamp, you silently begged him not to make a fuss. To let you go with him without kicking up a storm. I’ve barely been able to even see his face outside of imminent danger situations, Ed. Let me have this.

“Perhaps I need to remind you that his coven is the reason those imminent danger situations arise,” he snapped, teeth bared, causing Felix to let out a low warning growl that you felt vibrate through your whole body.

“Oh for fuck's sake Cullen, if I remember correctly that red-headed woman that came for your coven and could have taken her out was not one of ours.”

Felix swearing so crudely took you by surprise. He was always very composed whenever you spoke that hearing him swear like that shocked you... and ever so slightly - just a teensy bit - turned you on.

Okay, focus. Angry vampires. Now’s not the time.

“What is he doing here?” a third voice hissed.

You turned to see Tanya, Kate and Garrett approach - and boy did the two blondes look pissed.

“You killed our sister,” Tanya snarled, glaring at the two of you with unyielding hatred.

“Your sister got herself killed,” Felix snapped back, “perhaps if she had checked the situation with the half-child herself before coming to the Volturi, she’d be alive.”

“Tanya,” Edward warned, flitting to the angry blonde’s side and placing a hand on her shoulder, which she shook off. “Bella take Renesmee home,”

Not wasting any time, Bella took her child away from the situation. Ren looked back at you with an unreadable face as she and her mother disappeared into the forest.

“I’m not here for a fight,” Felix tried to diffuse the situation, “I’m just here for this one.”

“So you can turn her into a monster like you?” Kate hissed, letting out a bark of a laugh. “How romantic.”

Wiggling out of Felix’s grip, you felt the electricity in your veins rise as you screamed out of frustration. “Enough!”

Thunder clapped out of nowhere above you, making everyone jump. Edward and Garrett frowned as they studied you, watching you closely, one concerned and the latter fascinated. As you stared the opposing vampires down, your body twitched uncomfortably; you felt like a human live wire.

Your powers were growing stronger.

“I think I can speak for both myself and my mate when I say we do not want to fight, or argue or have any hostility between us - we just want to fucking exist together, damn it!” you snarled the last part of the sentence, your eyesight becoming sharper, clearer than before as the blue hue appeared.

“Edward! Tanya!”

Carlisle and Esme approached, Carlisle with his hands raised as if he were telling a couple of naughty dogs to sit down. “Let them go.”

“You can’t separate mates, you know this Sweetie,” Esme said with a sad smile, taking a few steps toward you.

Nostrils flaring as he tried to calm himself, Edward’s face became blank as he stared at you and Felix. Everyone held their breath as he slowly walked towards you; but he ignored you, instead opting to stand right in front of Felix, glaring up at him. “Hurt her, and we’ll know.”

Felix met the glare with his own. “I would never.”

A humorless snort came from Edward. “So it appears. But the warning still stands.”

While their confrontation went on, Esme very gingerly placed her hand on your back and rubbed it. It did soothe you, making your powers ease off, the glow in your eyes fading away.

With a nod to you, Edward turned his back and left the scene, taking off in the same direction his wife and child did.

Well, that could have been worse. You let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. At that moment, Rosalie and Emmett came over as the Denalis left.

“So you’re taking off with this one finally?” she said with a haughty expression on her face, lips twitching to hide a smirk.

You nodded and looked back to Felix, who watched you with a small smile on his face. His posture was still tense but less so now that Edward and the Denalis were gone. “Looks like it.”

“Hey now, before you scram you better not leave without a hug you little shit.” Before you could respond, Rosalie had embraced you in a tight hug, which you returned.

As she let you go, you felt your feet leave the ground as Emmett scooped you up. “You better be careful out there Thor,” he teased as he spun you around, making you laugh.

Good old Emmett, you thought to yourself, the king of being able to make a tense situation light.

He set you down and you went to Felix’s side. At long last, you were going to get some peace with the one you loved.

“Felix?” Rosalie called out, gaining the attention of the large vampire. He raised an eyebrow, waiting to hear what she had to say. “Y/N is a dear friend of mine. Hurt her and Edward won’t be who you need to worry about. It’ll be me. Is that clear?”

To your surprise, he chuckled. “Yes ma’am, I’ll remember that.”

The two of you turned to each other. A small smile crept onto your face as you stared into his vermillion eyes. As the two of you shared this moment, the Cullens quietly left you; you barely noticed.

“So we’re doing this, huh?” you breathed.

“By ‘this’ you mean me whiskin you away to begin our lives together, then yes I’d say that’s accurate,” he replied smoothly, winking at you.

You playfully pushed him. Before you could even comprehend it happening Felix swept you up into his arms, holding you bridal style. Your brain felt like it was short-circuiting in response. With a fit of giggles and happy laughter from Felix, he did exactly as he said he would and whisked you away into the forest.

“You called me your mate.”

Sprawled out in a comfy hotel room bed, you let out a small hum as you curled up against said mate’s chest. You blushed, but you were unashamed. “I did, didn’t I?”

Turning his body so the two of you were no facing each other, he cupped your face and kissed you, slow and sweetly. He pulled away after a few moments and sat back with an incredulous look. “This feels like a dream to me. A very good dream that I never want to wake from.”

Shaking your head, you snuggled your way back into his side again. “And you won’t ever have to wake from it. Hate to break it to you, but you’re stuck with my ass.”

“Now that I can’t complain about.” You didn’t fail to miss the flirtatious implications of his tone.

During this night in the hotel room, you’ve learned two things. One, that whatever was happening with your powers today made you incredibly tired and you just wanted to fall asleep next to your mate.

Secondly, that Felix was the biggest god damn flirt in a bedroom setting ever, holy shit. Not that you minded, but boy he was fantastic at driving a certain part of you crazy despite you being exhausted. You couldn’t wait to be intimate with him - but for now, baby steps.

Big baby steps, as Felix admitted after a rather heavy make-out session that he was afraid of crushing you like a watermelon.

“You’re a flirt.”

“You love it.”

Sighing contently, you drifted off to sleep in his arms. Who would have thought a battle against newly-made vampires would gift you with such a blessing as this love you had blossoming between the two of you? Certainly not you. Certainly not Felix either. But here you both are, and now all you can do is ride the waves of life together and simply exist with one another, with full hearts and content souls.

#at long last #this series is officially complete #my fics #felix volturi #felix volturi x reader #the volturi #volturi #twilight saga #the twilight saga #twilight saga imagines #twilight saga fanfiction #volturi imagines

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kinnsporsche · 4 years

Text

a million ways (to say i love you)

it takes seven days for callum to convince ben to go to the hospital for his hearing loss. and when he does, they both have to learn to live with their new normal.

word count: 7.5k

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Callum’s only been out of hospital for four days when he finds himself back again. But this time he’s not here for himself. No, this time he’s here for Ben.

It hadn’t taken him long when he’d woken up in the hospital to see that something was wrong with Ben. He’d called his name half a dozen times and hadn’t gotten a response from him, and when he reached over to touch his hand, Ben had flinched like he was terrified. Callum had pulled his hand away like he’d been burned but then Ben was leaping to his feet and fussing over him and asking if he was alright.

Callum had let him fuss and watched him struggle to keep it together for about seven minutes before Ben had broken down and told him everything. He couldn’t hear. He hadn’t been able to hear for near enough two days now and he was scared. Callum had just shifted over on the bed and let Ben lay next to him, his hand resting over his heart so that he could feel it beating under him. If he couldn’t hear it, feeling it would be the next best thing.

They’d fallen asleep like that.

Ben had spent the next week insisting that he would be alright. That his hearing would come back at some point, but Callum could tell he was struggling. Whenever he had a visitor, Ben would completely close himself off and pretend he was busy. Callum had lost count of the amount of tea that Ben had brought back for him as an excuse to leave the room, only for it to go cold when it was inevitably forgotten.

Callum was allowed to go home on the third day once the doctors had given him the all clear. They’d given him enough painkillers that Callum had joked that he’d be able to open his own pharmacy. He hadn’t let up on his insistence that Ben go to the hospital, though. If anything, now that they were away from the hospital, he’d only become more adamant.

“It’s a head injury, Ben. Even I know that that’s serious,” Callum had said. He made sure to look at Ben when he was speaking and made a conscious effort to talk a little more slowly than usual so his boyfriend could read his lips. “We’re going to the hospital.”

“I don’t need to go to hospital, Callum! I’m fine.”

Callum had sighed and closed the distance between them, hands coming up to cup Ben’s cheeks. “Please,” he had whispered, resting their foreheads together for a second before he leaned back to speak again. “For me?”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Ben had bit back, conceding.

Jay had driven them up to the hospital early the next morning, and Callum had promised to let him know how things went when they were finished.

“Callum-” Ben starts, stopping in his tracks just before the entrance to the hospital. He’s scared, Callum can tell. “Callum, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Hey. Hey, Ben, it’s okay.” Callum drops his hands and cups Ben’s cheeks instead, making sure that he doesn’t miss any of what he’s saying because he needs Ben to hear this. “Whatever happens in there, whatever the result is or isn’t, you’ll still have me. No matter what, you’ll always have me. And we’ll get through this together.”

Ben doesn’t say anything in response, but some of the tension has gone from his shoulders and Callum’s words, even if he can’t hear them, make him feel warm and good. He takes his hand once more and laces their fingers together before walking through the doors.

Callum stays by his side the entire time he’s signing in. He gives the receptionist his name and tries to read her lips when she asks for more information about his injury, but she’s mumbling and speaking too fast and he can feel the frustration coiling in his gut. He’s saved from having to try and decode her words when Callum steps up and fills her in for him.

“I told you,” Callum hums when she tells them to take a seat and they step out of the way so she can help the next person. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Ben smiles at him and drags Callum over to two empty seats in the back corner of the room. The news is playing on a television hung in the corner of the room, the subtitles slightly out of sync. They’re at least a sentence behind and Callum shouldn’t find that as frustrating as he does. He forces himself to look at something else, anything else.

It doesn’t take long for someone to call out his name. Ben doesn’t move at first, obviously not having heard them, but he gets up when Callum bumps their shoulders together and starts to get to his feet. Absently, Callum wonders what would have happened if Ben were here alone. Would he have waited for hours only to be told that his name had been called and he’d missed it despite not being able to hear it?

They walk down the hall hand-in-hand, past several closed doors until the nurse escorting them stops and gestures for them to enter. Callum thanks her and holds the door for Ben, letting it click shut gently behind them.

“Ah, Mr. Mitchell I assume?” a soft voice asks, slow and deliberate enough that they can both tell she’s doing it for Ben’s sake. Callum likes her already. The woman turns to him. “And you are?”

“Oh, I’m Callum. Callum Highway.” He reaches across to shake her hand before slipping into the chair next to Ben who immediately reaches for his hand and grips it again. “I’m Ben’s boyfriend. I’m just here for support really.”

The doctor looks between them, her eyes eventually settling on their hands before she nods to herself and swivels around to face them in her chair. If she notices the way Ben’s gripping onto him like he’s the only thing keeping him grounded, she doesn’t comment on it.

“My name’s doctor Helena Layman. The nurse told me you were in for a head injury which has affected your hearing, is that right?”

Ben just nods.

“Why don’t you tell me a bit about what happened and when this all started?” she prompts.

Ben bites at his bottom lip nervously, reluctant to speak until Callum squeezes his hand. It’s a small gesture, but it pulls Ben out of his head and he’s grateful for it. “Fell overboard and into the Thames, didn’t I? Managed to smack my head somehow and that’s most of what I remember. Haven’t been able to hear properly since.”

“Forgive me for asking, is this from the same boat party accident last week?” At his confirmation, Helena nods and types a few things into the computer before turning back to face them so Ben can read her lips again. “And you didn’t talk to any of the paramedics at the scene? This is the first time you’ve sought medical help for this?”

Ben seems to bristle at that question, shoulders tensing like he’s ready to snap back a remark at her. “Yeah, that was my fault-” Callum cuts in, thumb rubbing small circles into the back of Ben’s hand to keep him calm. “I’d been in a bit of bother myself, see. Managed to fall down some stairs whilst I was working and broke a couple of my ribs. Almost caught hypothermia too, so he’s been too busy worrying about me to bother looking after himself.”

She seems to buy it, which is enough for Callum, and after double checking that he himself had received medical attention, she shifts her focus back to Ben. “We’re going to have to run some tests, Mr. Mitchell. We’ll have to assess the extent of the damage before we can draw any concrete conclusions so I’m going to get you scheduled for an emergency MRI and a CT scan in the next few hours so we can rule out any brain damage. The rest of the tests I can carry out here, they’ll all be non-invasive so try not to worry about that.”

Ben’s already worrying, Callum can tell. There’s a crease in his forehead formed from both his concentration in reading her lips, and the worry her words are causing.

“The whole process shouldn’t last more than a few hours.” She turns away, giving them a minute to process as she types on her computer.

Neither of them say anything, but they don’t need to. When Ben turns his head to look at Callum, his boyfriend’s already looking at him. Callum gives him a look that says you’re okay, everything’s going to be okay and squeezes his hand as if to say I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.

Ben smiles back at him, exhaling a shaky breath. He’s scared, and he hates that. He should be stronger than this. He should be the one being strong for Callum. Callum who’d just spent four days trapped in a warehouse by himself. Callum who still had broken ribs. Callum who, underneath his sweater, was covered in bruises and cuts that never should have been there in the first place.

I love you, Ben mouths at him, which makes Callum beam and lean forward like he wants to kiss him before he remembers where they are. He’d said it at least a dozen times since he’d manged to get Callum back. It was like a dam that had finally broken. Once he’d said it the first time, he couldn’t stop saying it. And if the way Callum’s whole face lit up whenever he heard Ben say it was anything to go by, he didn’t mind hearing it either.

“Mr. Highway-” Helena interrupts, looking a little guilty for breaking up their moment. “I’m going to have to ask you to wait in the waiting room whilst we perform the tests. Or if you want to come back in a few hours I’m sure we’ll be finished by midday.”

Callum looks to Ben, arching an eyebrow as if to say are you alright with this? Because if he isn’t, Callum won’t leave him. And they both know that. If Ben wants him to stay, then he’ll insist on staying.

But Ben smiles back and nods his head. I’ll be fine, he’s saying. And Callum knows he will. It might take some time, but he will.

“I’ll just be outside if you need me, alright?” he says as he pushes the chair back and gets to his feet. Before he goes, he leans down and kisses Ben’s forehead. “I love you too, by the way.”

Ben watches him walk to the door and only looks away once it’s shut behind him and Callum has gone. He starts to panic a little but tries to remind himself that Callum is still here. He’s just outside, he isn’t going anywhere, and that eases his racing heart. With Callum by his side, he thinks maybe everything might be alright.

Helena waits until Ben’s attention is back on her before she speaks again. “Alright, Mr. Mitchell-”

“Ben,” he insists, holding a hand up to cut her off. “Mr. Mitchell is my father. And trust me, neither of us want me to be him.”

She laughs unexpectedly, startling both herself and Ben. “Alright then, Ben,” she puts purposeful emphasis on Ben’s name and even if he can’t hear it, by the way he’s smirking back at her she knows that he gets it. “Let’s get started then, shall we?”

Ben’s exhausted by the time he gets back to the waiting room. Callum’s still sitting in the same corner they were sat in this morning, but there’s a growing number of coffee cups gathering around him that has Ben almost fearing for his health. He can tell Callum’s nervous. He’s bouncing his leg and wringing his hands together in the way he knows isn’t because of the coffee.

“Are you planning on getting any sleep tonight?” Ben teases when he slips back into the seat next to him, gesturing at the coffee cups stacked by his feet.

Callum’s whipping around to face him fast enough that Ben starts to worry for his ribs, and if the pained look that he tries to hide is anything to go by, his worry was justified.

“Have they said anything? What’s going on? Did they say when you’ll be able to hear properly again? Do you need anything?” Callum babbles once he’s caught his breath. He forces himself to slow down when Ben just stares at him. “Right. Sorry. Too fast. Are you alright?”

“As alright as can be expected considering I can’t hear anything.” Ben grabs the coffee cup that’s balanced precariously on the arm of the seat and takes a sip, almost gagging when the mouthful he swallows is stone cold.

Callum plucks the cup from between Ben’s fingers and stacks it on top of one of the others before carrying them to the bin. Most of them were still full and by the time he’d remembered them, they were long-since cold. He returns a few minutes later, a fresh cup of coffee in his hands which he passes to Ben.

“You are too good for me,” Ben hums, popping the plastic lid off and pouring in two of the little sugar packets that Callum had brought back for him. “What did I ever do to deserve you, hm?”

“Who knows? Maybe you were good in a past life.”

That makes Ben laugh a little too loud considering that they’re in a hospital waiting room, but Callum would happily be glared at by every single person in the room if it meant making Ben smile like that. He rests his hand palm-up on Ben’s leg and watches as he fiddles with the lid of his coffee again. He tries, struggles, and eventually gives up and mumbles obscenities at the lid. Callum just rolls his eyes and secures it back on for him before returning his hand to its original position.

“Show off,” Ben huffs, but he reaches his free hand down and laces their fingers together anyway.

They sit in silence for a while, content to just hold each other’s hand. Eventually, though, as the time passes on, Callum can tell that Ben’s starting to feel anxious again. His hand starts to shake a little and he’s much more restless than he was when he sat down an hour ago.

“Jay called when you were in there,” Callum says, squeezing Ben’s hand before he speaks to get his attention. “I got glared at by the receptionist for having my phone on, but he wanted me to let you know that Lexi got to school alright. And that you should expect a lot of pictures when we get home. Lola swears she smuggled a pot of glitter in to school in her bookbag.”

That makes Ben smile again. Any mention of Lexi usually does.

Callum doesn’t say anything else. Ben turns his head away, which he assumes is his way of trying to end the conversation. Instead, he brings their joined hands up to his lips and kisses Ben’s knuckles. We’ll be alright, the gesture says, whatever happens.

Ben doesn’t look at Callum, just leans into his side and lets his head rest on the man’s shoulder. He feels Callum drop a kiss to his head before his boyfriend’s resting his own against the top of his head. It’s comforting, in a way. Feeling the weight of Callum next to him, their hands still linked together and resting on his lap. He closes his eyes and lets himself block out the rest of the world, content to just let himself get lost in his Callum.

When Ben opens his eyes again, it’s to someone gently shaking him awake. He opens his eyes slowly, squinting at the harsh hospital lights. He can see Callum saying something, but his brain hasn’t quite caught up with his eyes yet, so he just stares back, confused. He watches Callum dig around in his pocket for a second before pulling out his phone and typing something. For a second, Ben’s worried something’s happened to Lexi, but then Callum’s turning his phone to face him, and, on the screen, it just says doctor’s calling.

Ben nods once and leans up from Callum. His neck is stiff, and he knows he’ll be paying for that later. He takes a minute to let himself wake up and blink the sleep out of his eyes before standing up beside Callum. He’s still pretty sleepy, so he lets his boyfriend curl an arm around his waist and pull him against his side as they walk down the hall together.

“Hey-” he feels, rather than hears, Callum say just as they reach the door and stop in front of it. “Whatever happens in there, whatever she says or doesn’t say, whatever those tests show… none of it’s going to change how I feel about you, alright? I love you, Ben Mitchell, and I will love you until every star in the sky burns out, and maybe even beyond then if you’re lucky.” He’s speaking slower than he normally would, and Ben knows it’s because Callum is so attentive. He knows he’s still sleepy and he’s making it easier for him to lip read. Ben wonders if it’s possible for him to fall deeper in love with this man than he already is.

“I must have been really, really good in a past life,” Ben smiles back, tilting his head up and pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss.

They’re holding hands when they walk in again. And they don’t let go even when they sit across from the doctor.

“Mr. Highway,” Helena greets, offering him a tight smile that has Callum’s stomach sinking. He’s seen that smile before. Had to watch it in the faces of so many doctors in the army. God, he hopes he’s wrong. Please let him be wrong.

“Ben,” she adds.

“Helena,” Ben greets back, because apparently, they’re on a first name basis now.

“So, I have some good news, and I have some bad news.”

Callum feels Ben’s hand shaking in his own. He holds on tighter.

“And I’m going to start with the good news because I don’t want either of you to think that this entire situation is bleak.” She stops and takes a breath, aware that she’s talking too fast for Ben to keep up with. “Because you waited so long to seek medical help, I pulled some strings and got the tests rushed through. It still took a few hours though, so I’m sorry about the wait.”

Callum wants to tell her that it’s fine, he doesn’t care, he just wants to know.

“The good news is that we can’t seem to see any trauma to the brain, nor is there any lasting damage to the skull. So, we can rule out any permanent brain damage.”

Both Callum and Ben exhale at that. They hadn’t talked much about any lasting damage beyond Ben’s hearing, but it was still a relief to hear it confirmed.

“So, what’s the bad news?” Ben’s asking, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth again. “Is it that I won’t be able to go back to work anytime soon? Because let me tell you, doc, that doesn’t sound so bad to me.”

Helena doesn’t laugh. And Callum’s never wanted to drag Ben out of a room mpre in his life. He wants so badly to be able to protect him from what’s coming but he knows he can’t. All he can do is be there to help him rebuild the pieces of his life into a new normal.

“Ben… before I tell you this, I want you to know that there’s support out there, alright? There are groups you can go to, things you can do to manage this. It doesn’t have to rule your life.”

Ben’s hands are shaking again now. And neither he nor Callum can get them to stop. “I don’t need to go to any support groups!” he insists, chest rising and falling with each breath that he’s struggling to take. “I just need to know.”

Helena nods once, steeling herself for what she’s about to say. “We don’t know the extent of the damage to your hearing. At this stage, it’s impossible to tell. As far as we know, it could come back next week, next month, or…” she trails off, swallowing hard. This always was the worst part of the job.

“Or?” Ben snaps, startling himself when his voice comes out much louder than he expects it to.

“Or it might never come back. We just don’t know.”

Ben slumps back in the chair, defeated. Next to him, Callum’s shaking his head.

“No… no, there has to be something we can do. A way we can try and help him get it back, yeah? That’s why we came here, so you could help him!” Callum’s saying. Ben’s grip on his hand is slack and he’s pale and it makes Callum feel sick. “Please, there has to be something you can do.”

Helena looks at him with more pity in her eyes than he’s ever seen. “I’m sorry, Mr. Highway, I wish there was more we could do, but there isn’t. Right now, it’s just a question of time.”

“Time?” The laugh that slips between Callum’s lip is disbelieving. “So, what the hell is he supposed to do in the meantime? Just wait and suffer?”

“I’ve referred Mr. Mitchell to a specialist who can be of more assistance in this situation than I can. I’m afraid there isn’t much more that we can do. We could provide some medication that might help with the tinnitus Ben's experiencing, but these medications are usually used to help treat anxiety and other mood disorders and given the circumstances, I don’t feel it’s wise to be putting him on these at this time.” She knows Ben isn’t listening if the glassy look in his eyes are anything to go by, so she keeps her attention on Callum for now. “I understand that this is a big change. It’s going to be a huge adjustment for all of you, and it isn’t going to be easy. But like I said, there are support groups available for this kind of thing.”

“I don’t want to go to any stupid support group,” Ben interrupts, dropping Callum’s hand and gesturing erratically with his own. “What am I supposed to do, huh? Sit around with a bunch of strangers for an hour a week where we all cry about our problems and then at the end, we all hold hands and break into song?”

“Ben-” Helena tries, but Ben’s getting to his feet and heading towards the door before she can stop him.

Callum follows suit but stops when he feels a hand on his arm. “At least take these,” the doctor is saying, handing him a few folded pamphlets. Ben isn’t going to read them, he already knows that, but he takes them anyway. “And take care of him. He’s going to need all the support he can get.”

He nods once and heads to the door, trying to catch up with Ben before he manages to get too far.

“Ben!” Callum calls out when he gets to reception and his boyfriend is nowhere to be seen. He locks eyes with the receptionist from earlier for a few seconds and she nods her head to a door near the back of the room. He nods his thanks and takes off in that direction.

It takes him a good few minutes before he finds Ben. He’s leaning against the railing that separates the hospital from the road, his hand curled tightly around the metal bars, head resting on his arms. He’s drawing in sharp breaths like he’s been running but Callum knows that isn’t the case. He’s panicking.

“Ben…” he trails off as he walks up to his boyfriend. He brushes his fingers down his arm, starting from his shoulder and ending at his wrist; since Ben had lost his hearing, it’d been his way of letting Ben know that it was him. He’d flinch when he didn’t expect a touch, but at least this way he’d know it was Callum.

When Ben looks at him, Callum wonders if it’s physically possible for a human to feel their heart break. Ben’s eyes are red like he’s been trying to force himself not to cry, and his chin is trembling. Callum doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to begin to approach this situation. So, he does the only thing he can think of. He winds his arms around Ben’s shoulders and holds on.

They stay like that for a while, Ben’s face buried against his boyfriend’s neck. He knows Callum can feel the way his breath is shaking against his skin and can probably feel the way his arms are trembling around him too, but neither of them are prepared to let go yet. Ben feels safe here. And he lets himself have that.

“Thank you,” Ben finds himself saying once they finally pull apart from each other. Usually, Callum would chastise him for that. He would insist that Ben never had to thank him, that he doesn’t do it to be thanked, he does it because he loves him. But he doesn’t say anything this time. Callum knows that isn’t what he needs. Ben wonders for the umpteenth time that day if it’s possible for him to fall more in love with this man than he already is.

“I’m going to call us a taxi, I won’t be a minute.” Callum tells him, fishing his phone out of his pocket and taking a few steps away to make the phone call when his boyfriend nods at him.

Once Callum’s back is turned, Ben sighs and lets himself drop into one of the benches nearby. His hands are still shaking, and he can’t seem to stop his thoughts from racing, but he’s managed to remember how to breathe properly and his eyes aren’t burning with the effort it takes to bite back the tears. He’s still scared, even if he is trying his hardest not to show it.

He doesn’t flinch when he feels a hand run down the length of his arm. He knows who it is.

“What’s going through your head?” Callum asks. His hand is cold, and Ben instinctively takes it in his own, trying to warm it up.

“I don’t know.” He shakes his head, running his free hand across his face in the way he usually does when he’s stressed. “Everything is just… a lot right now.”

Callum nods in understanding and leans back against the bench. He’s careful not to slouch too much, wary of the strain it could put on his ribs. There’s silence between them for a minute or two until Ben finally breaks it, his voice trembling.

“What if I can never hear Lexi call me dad again? What if I can never hear my mum say she’s proud of me?” There’s silence for another beat, but it’s clear Ben isn’t finished. He turns to Callum. “What if I can never hear you tell me you love me again?”

Callum leans forward with enough eagerness to send a jolt of pain through him, but he ignores it in favour of squeezing Ben’s hand.

“Ben… Ben, look at me.” He waits until he does. “I need you to hear this, alright? There is nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you. I’ll find a million different ways to tell you that I love you if that’s what it takes. Whether you can hear it or not makes no difference to me. We will get through this, together.”

Ben wants to protest; he really really does. But before he has a chance to, Callum’s shutting him up with a kiss.

“No ifs,” another kiss. “Ands,” another kiss. “Or buts.”

Despite everything, Ben smiles. “I just don’t want to be a burden. Not to you, or anyone. You don’t deserve that.”

“You’re not a burden, Ben. You never could be a burden.”

“But I-”

“No buts,” Callum interrupts, pressing a finger against Ben’s lips to keep him quiet. “If the roles were reversed, If I were the one who’d lost his hearing, would I be a burden to you?”

Ben shakes his head, no. Nothing Callum could ever do would make him a burden.

“Exactly. So, what makes you think that you could ever be a burden to me?”

Ben opens his mouth to reply, but he hesitates. He knows Callum’s right. That the voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like his dad telling him that he doesn’t deserve this kindness, that he doesn’t deserve Callum, is wrong. That it’s lying to him. And as hard as he’s trying to replace that voice with Callum telling him that he deserves good things, that he’s a good person, and he’s not the mistakes he’s made, not his father, sometimes it isn’t enough. But, god, he wishes it was.

“You are better than I deserve, d’you know that?” Ben leans in, cutting Callum off with a kiss of his own this time.

Callum’s pulling back much sooner than Ben had hoped, and he wants nothing more than to grab him by the neck and pull him in again so they can both get lost in the safety of each other, but his boyfriend’s pulling out his phone and holding it to his ear. The conversation is brief and Callum’s hanging up after a second.

“Taxi’s here,” he says, keeping hold of Ben’s hand and pulling him up to his feet next to him. “Let’s go home.”

He let’s Callum lead him to the taxi that’s waiting for them, teases him about being a gentleman when he holds the door open for him and feels lighter than he has all morning. Now he’s even more sure than ever, that with Callum by his side, everything will be alright.

Halfway home, he feels Callum’s hand on his own. Assuming he wants his attention, Ben turns his head so that he can read his lips but finds him still facing forwards, the corners of his lips quirked up into a small smile. He narrows his eyes, suspicious, but goes back to gazing out of the window, nonetheless.

It’s less than a minute later when Ben feels Callum turn his hand over so its laying palm-up on his leg. He traces a finger in a straight line along the skin there. It tickles, and Ben’s first instinct is to pull away, but he doesn’t.

“You alright?” He asks, thinking Callum must want his attention and he’s somehow read the whole situation wrong.

Callum nods once. “Just… concentrate. I’m trying something here,” he hums, facing forwards once more.

Ben feels him trace his index finger down in a straight line again. Callum stops for a second before his fingers moving again, tracing an ‘L’ shape this time. He follows that up with an ‘O’ and then a ‘V’ and Ben realises what he’s doing.

He’s writing on his palm, taking his time to trace each letter deliberately so that Ben can feel it properly.

I love you.

Ben wants to cry. He wants to kiss Callum. He wants to kiss him and cry and tell the driver to stop so he can climb into Callum’s lap and show him exactly how much he loves him.

“Did you get that?” Callum asks, hopeful.

Ben nods. He doesn’t trust himself to speak without his voice breaking.

“Good. Like I said, I’ll find a million ways to tell you, we’ll call this number one.”

“I-” Ben stops, interrupted by the driver announcing their arrival. He lets out a small groan of frustration but gets out anyway.

Callum joins him a minute later, and Ben wastes no time in pressing him up against the nearest wall and kissing him breathless. It takes a second, but then Callum’s kissing him back and cupping his jaw and Ben’s never felt safer than he does here in his arms. He can’t tell if Callum’s moaning against his mouth or trying to say something, but he’s still kissing him so Ben can’t find it in himself to try and decipher what it is.

They’re both breathing hard when they pull away long enough to catch their breath, foreheads resting against one another’s. Their lips brush whenever one of them leans in too close, but neither of them want to be the first to move away.

Ben feels, rather than hears, Callum speaking, and he leans back just far enough to see his lips.

“Our flat is literally like ten steps away,” he’s saying, which makes Ben laugh and lean in to kiss him again.

“Are you telling me you’ve never wanted to get a little frisky in public?” Ben teases, biting at Callum’s bottom lip playfully. That does make Callum moan. He’s sure of it this time.

“Yes, but I also like not being arrested for public indecency.”

“That also wasn’t a no. Have you been thinking about getting frisky in public, babe?”

Callum rolls his eyes fondly and pushes himself up from the wall, walking the few steps to the front door of the flat. He waits until Ben follows, and he’s managed to unlock the door before he turns back to speak. “Are you forgetting that our first kiss was literally in a public park?”

He’s teasing, Ben knows that, but he can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine at the memories that brings back. He waits until the door’s closed behind them and they’re alone before kissing Callum again. It doesn’t take long for Ben’s mouth to end up on Callum’s neck and he knows they’re getting far too handsy considering that they’re in the middle of the hall but moving means taking his mouth away from his boyfriend and he can’t persuade himself to do that just yet.

Callum’s the one who moves them first. He hears a door slam somewhere next door in the funeral parlour and takes Ben by the hand, leading him up the stairs and into the bedroom.

It’s late when Callum wakes; there’s no light streaming in through the window like he expects, and the bed next to him is empty. He reaches his hand out, instinctively trying to reach for Ben to pull him closer, but the sheets under his skin are cold meaning he’s been gone for a while.

“Ben?” he calls out, voice hoarse. It takes a second for his brain to kick in and he remembers that even if Ben was next to him, he wouldn’t be able to hear him.

Callum groans when he sits up, his ribs sore and aching. He kicks his legs over the side of the bed and takes a moment to breathe through the pain. The bruises there are an ugly mix of purples, greens, and yellows. Ben still feels guilty about it, he knows he does. He can see the way guilt flashes across his face whenever he manages to lay his eyes on them; it only lasts for a second but Callum see’s it. He always does.

It doesn’t take much effort to grapple around blindly on the floor for his sweatpants, but when he tries to lift his arms to pull his hoodie over his head it sends a jolt of pain through his body. Callum groans and lets it drop back to the floor, opting instead to shrug on the dressing gown Ben keeps hanging on the back of the door. It’s easier, he thinks as he’s tying it loosely around his waist, not having to lift his arms over his head. Once he’s dressed, he lets himself out of the bedroom, letting the door shut behind him with a soft click.

Ben’s awake when he walks out. He’s wearing his glasses and alternating between staring blankly at his phone and the television. He’s wearing one of Callum’s old sweatshirts and the sight of him in it makes his heart beat a little faster in his chest.

Callum heads straight for the kitchen and gets himself a glass of water before he turns to the kitchen counter. His painkillers are there, several boxes of varying strengths designed to get him through the day. He hesitates, hand hovering over them as he tries to decide which strength to take.

He doesn’t hear Ben standing up from the couch and walking over to the counter until he feels his hand on his elbow, the contact making him jump.

“Here I thought I was the deaf one,” Ben jokes, eyes darting to where Callum’s hand is hesitating over his painkillers. “You’re hurting?”

“Just a little sore. It’s nothing really.” Callum settles for one of the weaker painkillers, deciding not to spend the rest of their evening drowsy and confused.

Ben frowns and leans up to press their lips together in a chaste kiss. “Is this because of earlier?”

“Earlier?”

“Yeah. The doctors at the hospital did specifically instruct you not to do any strenuous activity whilst your ribs heal. And what we did earlier was pretty strenuous.” Ben brings his hands up either side of the dressing gown and grips it.

Callum rolls his eyes fondly, his own hands coming to settle on Ben’s waist. “No, Ben, it’s not because of earlier. It’s because I have three broken ribs.”

“Yeah, but-”

“No but’s, Ben. This isn’t your fault, none of it. Not how they got broken, or why they hurt now. And even if they did hurt because of earlier… it was worth it,” Callum insists, watching as Ben’s frown twists into a coy smile.

Ben’s gaze drops to Callum’s chest and he nudges the edges of the dressing gown apart to inspect the damage on his skin. The guilt flashes across his face and he knows that Callum sees it, but he can’t hide much from him. It doesn’t matter how much his boyfriend insists that it wasn’t his fault, he’ll always carry the guilt of it.

He skims his fingertips across the bruises there, careful not to press too hard and hurt him, and ducks his head to press a kiss over his heart. Callum shivers under his touches, and Ben smirks as he pulls the dressing back together and leans away from him.

“Easy, tiger. I think I’ve worn you out enough for one day.”

“Never thought I’d see the day Ben Mitchell turns me down.”

Ben’s laughing as he heads back over to the sofa, gesturing for Callum to join him. He waits until he sits before turning to him, expression serious.

“So, I’ve been thinking. I found these in your jacket when I picked it up from the stairs.” He gestures to the pamphlets Callum had shoved in his pocket earlier that day just before Ben had ran out from the doctors office. They’re folded awkwardly and he’s pretty sure one of them is ripped, but that’s beside the point. “I’m not going to a support group, that’s just not who I am. I don’t think either of us can picture me sitting in a circle and talking about my feelings.”

Callum wants to protest, but he knows Ben’s right. And it wouldn’t be fair for him to ask him to do something that made him uncomfortable.

“But… if this is the life that I have now, if I am going to be like this for the foreseeable future, then I have to learn how to adapt.” Ben picks up one of the torn pamphlets and hands it to Callum. It’s the one about sign language, but Callum barely has a chance to glance at the cover before Ben’s speaking again. “They have classes. I’ve been thinking about going.”

Callum nods and puts the pamphlet back down on the table. He shifts so that he’s facing Ben; it’ll be easier for him to read his lips that way. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know?”

“No, I know that. I’ve spent the afternoon doing research. They have family classes. I figured I’d talk to Lola about taking Lexi.” He hesitates, and Callum can tell he isn’t finished, so he waits. “And you too. If you want to come?”

“Of course I want to come, Ben. I meant everything I said this morning.” Callum takes his hands again and laces their fingers together. “I’m in this for the long haul, and just because you can’t hear now, it doesn’t matter to me. I said we’d figure this out together and I meant it.”

Ben squeezes Callum’s hands, trying to think of what to say. He could never have imagined when they first met, when they first kissed, that the two of them would end up like this. That Callum would become as essential to him as breathing. It terrifies him sometimes; how important Callum is to him. He shrugs the thoughts off quickly, trying to avoid them from spiralling any further. “And plus, think of all the things I could sign to you in public without anybody else knowing,” he hums, accompanying that with a wink.

Callum laughs, and Ben feels a pang in his chest. He wonders if he’ll ever get to hear the sound of his laugh again.

“I know a bit of sign,” Callum says. “I had this mate; she was in a car crash when she was young, lost both her parents and her hearing. She taught me some sign before she moved away. It was like it was our own secret language. I can’t remember a lot of it though, only bits and pieces. There’s one thing I do remember clearly though.”

He leans back so that Ben can watch him properly. He starts by pointing one finger at himself, then letting one hand rest over his heart, the other coming to rest atop it. He ends it by pointing at Ben.

“It means-”

“I love you,” Ben interrupts, catching Callum off guard. “I know.” He scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “It was the first thing I wanted to sign to you. Spent the afternoon practicing it.”

“And here I am stealing your thunder,” Callum groans, leaning back against the sofa and tilting his head back to face the ceiling.

“Callum,” Ben huffs. He rolls his eyes when his boyfriend ignores him and throws a leg over his lap so that he’s straddling him. He cups Callum’s cheeks and tilts his head down so that he’s looking at him. “Would you shut up already? You haven’t stolen anything.”

Ben leans in and kisses him, slow and sweet. He pulls away just as Callum’s starting to lean into it a little too much. He wants to do this before either of them can get carried away again. “Look at me,” he says, leaning back so that he’s sitting on his thighs.

He waits until Callum looks at him and mimics his signs from earlier, relishing in the grin that spreads across the other mans face. Callum signs it back at him and Ben feels his own grin spreading across his face - he doesn’t expect it to make his heart beat as fast as it does, but then again, he’s learned to never expect anything when it comes to Callum. He has a habit of surprising him.

Ben kisses him again. It’s more of a press of lips, though; they’re both smiling too much into it for it to be considered a proper kiss.

“Two down,” Callum hums when they pull apart. “Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight left to go.”

Ben looks confused for a second, before he remembers. “A million ways to say I love you.”

“A million ways to say I love you,” Callum confirms, thumbs rubbing small circles into Ben’s hips.

They stay like that for a while, trading lazy kisses and letting themselves be lost in each other. They’ll have to go out and face the rest of the world eventually, Ben knows that. He’ll have to tell Jay and Lola and figure out what to do about Lexi. He’ll have to tell his mum and Ian and figure out how to deal with the rest of the square and the way they’ll look at him when they inevitably find out. But here, wrapped in the comfort and safety of Callum’s arms, he thinks that all might be okay. Here, with Callum by his side, he thinks he might just be able to take on the entire world.

#eastenders #ballum #ben x callum #ben mitchell #callum highway #ballum fic #ballum fanfic #ee fanfiction #writing*#**

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superfreakerz · 5 years

Text

Caught Red Handed

"Caught Red Handed"

Rated T

Summary: Lucy thought she was safe gushing over a gorgeous pink-headed boy in Japanese. Turns out she wasn't.

“You got another perfect score on the exam?” Lucy asked, bewildered when her friend had showed her the test, full marks written in red ink in the top corner, along with a smiley face. Though by now, she really shouldn’t have been surprised. Levy was practically a genius, and when it came to foreign languages, she couldn’t be beat. Even after only a day of studying a language, she was able to pick up on sentence structure just by comparing different sentences. She was the university’s prodigy, surely going to be successful in life.

“Yep!” Levy replied with a cheerful grin. “What about you?”

“I got a ninety-three,” Lucy answered, her lips curling into a smile of her own. It may not have been a perfect score, but she was still proud of it.

“Good job, Lu-chan! Let’s go celebrate with some smoothies!”

“Okay!”

Lucy glanced towards her petite friend, her smile growing. Levy was her best friend, and despite only knowing her for the past school year, it felt like she had known her forever. The blue-headed beauty was kind, intelligent, and welcoming. Even though nobody could compare to her intelligence, she was humble and never made anyone feel down about themselves for not being as smart as her.

She met Levy the first day of the school year in the intermediate Japanese class. The two sat at the front of the class, often paired to do projects together. They bonded immediately over their love for books, and once Levy found out that Lucy was an aspiring writer, their friendship was sealed with a promise that she would be her first reader.

Since then, they shared classes every semester as they advanced through the Japanese classes the university had to offer. They were nearing the end of the program with only one last class to go before they finished. Through countless nights filled with kanji flashcards, vocabulary sheets, and loads of homework, the two girls were practically fluent in the language.

Lucy never would’ve guessed that she would eventually become fluent in Japanese. She loved watching anime on her downtime, but it never occurred to her to actually study the language until she went on a business trip with her father to Japan. Falling in love with the culture and hearing the beautiful language firsthand, she knew she wanted to take classes.

Since then, she started watching anime without subtitles, she made penpals living in Japan, and she was able to talk to Levy without most people understanding what they were saying thanks to the program being small. Most students took Spanish or French at her university, after all.

Reaching the smoothie shop, Lucy was surprised to find that it wasn’t packed with students. It was one of the most popular stores in their city, usually filled to the brim with customers.

“Everyone’s probably home studying since it’s final’s week,” Lucy thought with a shrug, following Levy inside. Luckily, she and Levy had already done most of their studying.

As Lucy approached the line, her feet stopped in their tracks as she noticed a boy standing at the end of the line. Heat rushed to her cheeks, her mouth dropping open as she ogled the boy. His hair was pink, part of his bangs spiked up. A strange scarf was wrapped around his neck. She could tell the texture of it wasn’t normal cotton or fleece, but she couldn’t tell what it was. He also wore a weird coat with only one sleeve. Oddly enough, he didn’t have a shirt on, showcasing a set of toned abs.

As he talked to his friend- another attractive boy with raven hair and an unbuttoned shirt- she couldn’t help but stare at his grin. It was so wide and cheerful, showing off his teeth. His smile was infectious, as she could feel the corners of her lips curling into a small smile of her own.

Feeling a light nudge on her arm, Lucy jumped as she glanced towards her friend. Levy gave her a knowing grin, wiggling her brows skillfully at her.

“He’s cute, huh?” Levy asked with a snicker.

“Levy-chan!” Lucy squealed, glancing towards the boy to make sure that he didn’t hear her. Luckily, it seemed he was too caught up in his conversation to notice them.

“What? All I’m saying is he’s cute!”

Lucy’s face burned red as she slapped a hand over her friend’s mouth, shouting, “Japanese!” If her friend was going to tease her about it, she could at least do it in another language so that he wouldn’t understand. Glancing over her shoulder to see if the boy had heard her exclamation, she was immediately met with a pair of onyx eyes. Whipping her head towards Levy, she tried to calm her erratic heart and drain the pink from her cheeks.

In Japanese, Levy said, “Come on, let’s get in line.”

Lucy nodded, keeping her eyes on the floor. Standing just behind the boy and his friend, she gave a soft sigh of relief once the boy turned around to face the counter. Now that she wasn’t able to see his face, she could finally lift her gaze from the tiled floor.

“As I was saying, he’s cute,” Levy said in Japanese. “His friend is too. You should ask him out.”

“Ask him out?” Lucy repeated in the foreign language so that they couldn’t understand. They continued the rest of the conversation this way. “No way! We don’t know each other. He’d probably think I’m some freak if I did that.”

“Lu-chan, have you seen yourself? Trust me, no guy would ever think that. If anything, he’s probably trying to think of a way to ask you out in his head.”

“Yeah right.”

“It’s true. You’re a blonde bombshell. Every guy in here is drooling over you.”

“Blonde bombshell? You’re starting to sound like Cana!”

Levy gave a cheeky grin. “It’s true though.”

Lucy sighed. In an attempt to steer the conversation away, she asked, “What about you? Why don’t you ask his friend out since you think he’s cute?”

“He is, but he’s not my type.”

Now it was Lucy’s turn to snicker. “Oh right, your type is really tall guys with muscles bigger than your head, long black hair, and piercings just about everywhere. Someone like-”

“Lu-chan! Don’t say his name!” Levy shrieked, glancing around to make sure nobody heard them. Not that it mattered since they were still speaking in Japanese.

Lucy laughed at her friend’s red face. It was nice to get some payback.

Levy narrowed her eyes at her. “Besides, we aren’t talking about him. We’re talking about you and how you were undressing this guy with your eyes earlier!”

There was a quiet chuckle coming from the pink-headed boy, causing Lucy’s stomach to drop to the floor. Could he understand them? Slowly turning her head towards him, she breathed a sigh of relief as she found him engrossed in his phone. He probably laughed at a funny picture. There was no way he could understand them. If he did, he would’ve said something forever ago.

“I wasn’t undressing him,” Lucy said, rolling her eyes at her friend’s suggestion. With a playful tone of voice, she joked, “Though I’d like to.”

The two girls laughed as they moved up a step in line. The store was understaffed today, making each order take longer than usual. Not that Lucy minded. It gave her more time to ogle the gorgeous boy in front of her. Though, all she could see was his backside.

“Wow, Lu-chan! That’s pretty bold coming from a virgin!” Levy said.

Lucy giggled. “What can I say? The pink hair is working for me.”

“I’m sure those abs are working for you too.”

“Oh, they are. It’s weird that he isn’t wearing a shirt under his coat, but hey, works for me.”

“He is really fit. He’s even more fit than Dan.”

A groan slipped past the blonde’s lips. “Don’t even bring up Dan. I’m so glad he’s not in our class this semester.”

“Yeah, he was creepily obsessed with you.”

“He never got the hint either. Even though I kicked his ass whenever he approached me, he still asked me out every day.”

“What do you think this guy’s like? You think he’d be creepy like Dan?”

Lucy studied the boy for a moment before shaking her head. “No. First of all, nobody could be creepy like Dan. Second of all, he seems pretty carefree and easy going judging from his smile.”

Levy snickered. “You got all that from a smile?”

Lucy narrowed her eyes at her friend. “I can just sense it.”

“I’m telling you, Lu-chan, you should ask him out! I’ve never seen you so curious about someone before!”

“No way! He probably has a girlfriend already! I mean, look at him!”

“No way of finding out without asking him!”

Lucy shook her head. “Nope. Not gonna happen.” They took a step forward in line. She watched as the boy ordered his drink. His voice was heavenly, not too high nor too low. “I may not have the courage to ask him out, but I can definitely keep looking at him. God he’s so hot.”

“I’m sure that author brain of yours is coming up with some smutty stories right about now.”

Instead of denying it, Lucy played along, joking, “Oh definitely. My brain is just imagining all the things I would do to him if we were alone together.”

The two girls erupted in a fit of giggles, but their laughter was cut short as the boy suddenly turned towards them, drink in hand and a heavy smirk on his face.

Lucy quickly shut her mouth, warmth rushing through her body as he stared into her eyes. His gaze was so mesmerizing, she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

And then, in perfectly fluent Japanese, the boy spoke.

“Oh yeah? And what would you do if we were alone together?” he teased, his body shaking as he tried to contain his laughter.

A cold chill ran through Lucy’s body, her stomach dropping to the floor as she gawked at the boy in front of her. Her brain was short-circuiting. Her face was set ablaze, her heart pounding wildly in her chest as if she had just finished running a mile.

“U-Uhh, I uhh…” Lucy stammered, trying to wrack her brain for the right words to say. What could she say? She was just caught red handed talking about him. Her words from before now haunted her. My brain is just imagining all the things I would do to him if we were alone together. How embarrassing! Why in the world would she even say anything like that? “I-I was just kidding!”

The boy laughed as if her mortification amused him. His friend glanced between the two of them, brow raised in confusion.

“Later, weirdo!” the pink-headed boy said in English, waving to her before heading out the door, his friend following behind.

The two girls were still, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“H-He knew what we were saying this whole time,” Levy murmured, now speaking in English.

Lucy absentmindedly nodded. “Yes. Yes he did.”

“Even when you said-”

“Don’t repeat it!” The red tint in her face deepened as she replayed the situation over and over again in her head. Each time she did, the angrier she had gotten. “Stay here. I’m going to go give that jerk a piece of my mind!” Without waiting for a reply, she was out the door in a hurry to catch up to the boy who had humiliated her. Luckily, he hadn’t gotten too far, only a few feet from the entrance.

Running up to him, she grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around, planting her hands on her hips to give him a harsh glare. Meeting his gaze, however, was a mistake as it reminded her of how handsome he really was.

The boy stared right back at her. He was bewildered at first by being suddenly spun around, but once he saw it was her, that playful grin was right back on his face.

“Yo, weirdo!” he greeted with a nonchalant wave.

His friend glanced between them. “Do you know her, Natsu?”

“Nope. But when we were in there, she was talking about how-”

Lucy shrieked, slapping her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it!” A squeal slipped past her lips as something wet slid against the palm of her hand. Yanking her hand away, she glared at him. “Did you just lick me!?”

The boy- Natsu, she had figured out thanks to his friend- glared right back at her. “You shouldn’t have covered my mouth!”

Lucy ignored him, turning to face his friend. Her brows were slanted as she pointed towards the shop. “You, go back inside. I have to talk to your friend.”

The raven-haired boy held his hands up in surrender. “Whatever.” Not wanting the blonde to take her wrath out on him too, he followed her instructions and went back inside the smoothie shop.

“Hey look, we’re alone now,” Natsu teased, the smug grin on his face causing a vein to tick in her forehead. “How about you do those things to me now since you never told me what they were earlier?”

Lucy’s blush deepened, her hands balling into tight fists. “You’re such a jerk!”

Natsu cocked his head to the side, his bangs sweeping over his forehead as he did. “How am I a jerk? You were the one talkin’ about me behind my back thinkin’ I couldn’t understand you.”

“W-Well, you could’ve told us from the beginning that you spoke Japanese instead of letting me go on like that!”

The boy’s grin returned. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Lucy internally swooned at the look he was giving her. All of her anger- her irrational anger- started to melt away at the sight of his carefree smile. She wondered if he knew he could have the world wrapped around his finger with that smile.

“W-Whatever,” Lucy muttered, crossing her arms and turning her back towards him so that he couldn’t see how flustered she was. “I’m going back, jerk.”

As she walked away, a warm hand wrapped around her wrist. Her heart lunged up to her throat as she was spun around to face Natsu. Their faces were close, and all Lucy could think about was how her jokes from before- the ones about wanting to undress him- may not have been jokes after all. An ache grew between her legs as her gaze dropped to see how close his body was to hers, and how she longed to close the space between them.

“You don’t hafta call me that,” he said. When he finally let go of her wrist and shoved his hands in his pockets, she immediately noticed the loss of warmth. “You can call me Natsu, weirdo.”

Warmth spread through her body. “Well… Then you don’t have to call me weirdo. I’m Lucy.”

Natsu grinned at her. “Nice to meet ya, Luce!”

Ignoring the new nickname he had given her, she asked, “You aren’t mad at me?”

The boy arched a brow. “Mad? For what?”

“For the weird stuff I said about you.”

“Oh, you mean the sexual stuff?”

Lucy blushed. Unable to say anything, she simply nodded.

“Nah, I’m not mad about that,” Natsu assured her, his lips curling into a smirk as he continued, “It was funny. ‘Sides, I think you’re hot too.”

Lucy’s body burned, butterflies swarming around in her belly. With newfound courage, she forced out, “Are… Are you seeing anybody?”

“Nope. I’m single. What about you? I’m guessing you are too considering your friend was telling you to ask me out.”

She nodded shyly. “I am. Do you, uhh, do you want to go out sometime?”

Natsu’s grin was filled with confidence, but by the light dusting of pink on his cheeks, Lucy could tell that he was nervous too.

“Sure! Sounds fun!” he answered.

She eyed him skeptically. “Despite what I joked about earlier, I’m not putting out.”

Natsu wasn’t deterred, he only laughed. “Jeez, Luce! You gotta get your head outta the gutter and stop thinking ‘bout that kinda stuff!”

“I just want to make sure you don’t get the wrong idea!”

“I didn’t agree for that, I agreed because you’re weird. But in a good way. You’re funny and I wanna get to know you.”

Lucy swallowed thickly, warmth running through her body. “O-Oh. Good.”

“So? Gonna give me your number?” Natsu asked, handing her his phone.

“Oh, right!” Quickly putting her number in his contacts, she handed his phone back to him. “I guess we can figure everything out later?”

“Yeah. You should probably get back to your friend. She’s been watching us for a while now.”

Lucy turned around to find Levy’s face pressed against the window in the smoothie shop, spying on them as she stood next to Natsu’s friend. Once the blue-headed girl realized she was caught, she dove away from the window, most likely crashing into something and causing a scene.

Lucy sighed. “I should’ve known.” Turning back to Natsu, she gave a sheepish grin. “So… I’ll talk to you later?”

Natsu nodded and teasingly replied in Japanese, “Talk to ya later, Lucy. You can tell me next time what you wanted to do to me when we’re alone!”

Lucy gave him a heavy smirk, her confidence raised. “Why tell you when I can just show you?”

Natsu immediately shut his mouth, his face burning red. With a wave, Lucy turned and headed back to the smoothie shop, making sure to swing her hips with each step.

And though she wasn’t planning on putting out, she made sure to make a mental note to buy some new underwear for her date because she had a feeling Natsu was going to be seeing them.

#fairy tail #nalu #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #ftfanficton #nalu fanfiction #crh #caught red handed #super writes

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 5 years

Text

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 2: Thriller •

A/n: I apologize for the possible spelling errors from the Torah scene. They didn't have it in the subtitles so I borrowed from the original script for authenticity, so I apologize for any incorrect information or spelling. Reader's scene is inspired by a scene from the conjuring cause I am unoriginal af and I am a fool for making myself do this since I hated that movie and how it stressed and scared it made me but hey it was writing inspiration so yeah. Anyways, spooky chapter ahead :( Eddie + reader content coming soon!

"He thrusts his fists against the p-posts,"

Anyone who knew Bill well knew of his pride in his bike, Silver. Countless times had he been found barreling down the streets on his pride and joy at impossible speeds, crying out in joy.

"Hi-yo Silver, away!"

Now was not one of those times. Currently, Bill was descending Jackson St. wheeling Silver alongside him as he practiced the tongue twister his mother taught him, as an exercise for his stuttering. He was never quite able to make it all the way through, but that never stopped him from trying.

"The thrusts his fist against the p-po-" He shook his head angrily, licking his lips. "Shit!"

At that moment, he had reached the familiar scene of his driveway. One of the garage doors, he noticed, was open. His dad must be woodworking, he presumed. Sure enough, when he parked his bike in the usual spot, his dad was waiting for him. He took his eye goggles off and turned around, facing away from his current woodworking project.

"Need some help?" He offered, walking into the garage. "I-I-"

"I thought we agreed." His father sighed.

Bill's stomach dropped. He looked to his makeshift model of the sewer system he had created. It was made from borrowed parts of his hamster's tunnels, with two accompanying bins representing different areas of the town.

"Before you say anything-"

"Bill,"

"Just let me show you something first." He insisted, walking towards the model.

He eagerly picked up the little green toy soldier, dropping it into the tube labeled Witcham. He grabbed the hose that was still in place from his last attempt and stuck it in the tube, turning it on. The little army man clinked and thunked down the tubes, finally popping out into the other end and into the bin labeled THE BARRENS.

His father watched unimpressed.

"The Barrens," Bill urged. "I-I-It's the only place th-that Georgie could have ended up."

"He's gone, Bill."

"But if the storm swept Ge-Georgie in, we should have gone--"

His father snapped, standing to his feet suddenly and his voice grew in volume.

"He's gone! He's dead!"

Bill swallowed the lump forming in his throat, and failed to meet his father's eye as he was scolded.

"He's dead! There is nothing we can do! Nothing!"

Bill was feeling his hope and happiness being torn down all over again, and his father's voice lowered into a spiteful venom.

"Now take this down before your mother sees it," He walks over to the blueprints of Derry tacked to the wall, and angrily takes it down. "Next time you want to take something from my office..."

He fitfully folds the poster, refusing to look his son in the eye, and storms out of the garage.

"ask."

Bill looked sadly at his hamster, who was climbing the walls of the cage.

"Guess you get your t-tunnels back,"

×××

Mike Hanlon speeds down the road on his bike and into the edge of town. He was making his usual delivery to the butcher, one of his many jobs on his grandparents' farm. It was a warm evening, which made for a nice trip into town. He sped along the main streets, making his way through the familiar turns to the butcher.

He reached the butcher's and he dismounted his bike, ready to unload the packages of meat for his delivery. That was until he heard the hoots and hollers of the familiar Bowers gang cruising down the street.

His nerves spiked and Mike sprang into action, quickly grabbing his bike and running him and the bike into the safety of the alley. Bowers always had a knack for finding Mike on his trips through town, and every time he would terrorize the poor boy, spitting racial slurs at him, or worse. Sometimes he would have to come home to his grandparents with injuries he would have to explain. Bowers was as bad as they come and his grandfather was right about people like him.

As he hid himself and his bike behind a junk pile in the alley, watching the car cruise by slowly on the street, he was brought back to the conversation he and his grandfather had had.

"There are two places you can be in this world," He said. "You can be out here like us, or you can be in there, like them,"

He was pointing to the pen stocked with sheep, and Mike felt queasy from the fate of the animals, but knowing truth rang in his grandfather's words.

"You waste time hemming and hawing, and someone else is gonna make that choice for you. Except you won't know it until you feel that bolt between your eyes."

Mike saw the blue Trans Am pass the outer street and he exhales in relief.

"Oh, Jesus."

Still panting heavily, trying to calm his racing heart, he walks his bike to the end of the alley. He leans his bike against a nearby dumpster, back facing the door of the butcher's, and begins unloading packages of meat.

He hears a soft growl accompanied the rattling of chains behind him. Quickly, he turns to face the door, curious. He sees the old dirty - or was it singed? - door attempting to swing open. It only opens a crack, the chains on the handle preventing it from opening. And did Mike smell smoke?

Nevertheless, his eyes never left the door, and his breathing never slowed. He was appalled and horrified to suddenly hear the voice of his mother, or at least who he thought sounded like his mother.

"Mike!" She screamed.

Mike flinched, his heart pounding horribly fast. It ached to see the familiar scene before him, just as vivid as he had remembered. Charred hands slipped out from behind the door, clawing at the pavement desperately.

"Hurry, son!" His father.

"Help! It burns!"

Still frozen in terror, Mike steps forward hesitantly, ready to reach the door. Hands are still clawing at the brick wall, scratching the charred door.

Smoke unfurled from the cracks of the door, the hands retreated. Mike took a step back and the door swung open suddenly. He could hear the rattling of chains once more, and the boy frowned at what he saw. Behind the door was a dark room, the only source of light came from behind the freezer strips to the meat cooler. He could see the outlines of the meat hangers and the many figures of the deceased animals.

Mike heard the bleating of sheep and metal clanging. Suddenly, a figure hanging in the freezer moved, looking up at him. It was a long lanky figure, everything but it's head limp. It was a distorted figure of a man. He could have sworn it looked almost like a clown.

The figure twirled around on the chains it hung from. It was now facing Mike, who watched frozen in fear, shaking violently. It stared at Mike, two glowing yellow lights emitted from where its eyes should be. It waved its long slender arm, it's movements stiff and forced, like a marionette puppet.

The loud and sudden revving of an engine brought Mike out of his daze. Mike jumped frantically, barely missing the Trans Am by inches. Unable to catch his footing, he landed on a pile of cardboard near the dumpster. The car came to a sudden stop, rock music blaring from the radio. In the front seat was Belch Huggins, and a livid Henry Bowers stood on the passenger's seat and popping out of the open sunroof.

"Stay the fuck outta my town!" He roared, veins bulging from his forehead neck, spit flying.

He flicked his cigarette at Mike who flinched, and the car roared to life and sped away. Mike stayed on the ground, still panting heavily from the intense encounters.

"Mike?"

He looked up to the open door, the familiar face of the butcher stepping through the side of the building where the clown once was. He was cleaning his knife, blood stained his apron. He looked at Mike in concern.

"Are you okay?"

×××

Inside the Derry Synagogue, Stan Uris reads from the Torah, rehearsing. His father, the rabbi, is pacing above him, waiting for a screw up.

"Baruk atah Adonai, eloheynu meleek,"

"Melehk. Start again"

"Baruk atah Adonai, eloheynu malehk... malehk... "

"Ha'olam..."

"Ha'olam, Asher bahkar Mikal..."

"Banu Mikal! You're not studying Stanley. How's it gonna look? The rabbi's son can't finish his own Torah reading. Take the book to my office. Obviously, you're not using it" he spits.

Stanley closed the book, sighing. He timidly made his way to his father's office and opened the door. With the book clutched to his side, he brought his other hand up to the side of his face, blinding himself from the painting that always made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

And yet Stan was still able to see the crooked frame on the wall, just as crooked as the woman in the painting itself. Everything about the woman in the painting made him uneasy. Her unnatural elongated neck, and her claw-like fingers that wrapped around the flute. Her eyes were uneven and they were a blank milky white.

It's silly, Stan told himself, it's just a painting. Just a stupid painting. He stepped forward, trying to calm his racing heart. He exhaled, placing the book under his arm and straightened the painting. See? Nothing bad happened.

He gladly walked away to the bookshelf at the end of the room, though he couldn't shake the adrenaline that had accumulated in his system. He placed the book on the shelf, and-

SMACK!

Stan could hear his blood pumping in his ears and he slowly turned around. The painting face down on the floor. The lights flickered with an obnoxious buzz, matching the rapid beat of his heart. Stan gulped, picking up the large frame and hung it carefully back in place on the wall. He stared at the painting, his heart in his throat and his stomach churned.

He took a few frightened steps back, panting heavily as he tried to comprehend the now blank painting before him. The woman was gone.

His breathing picked up, he couldn't believe his eyes. Stan whirled around when he heard the office door creak open. But it had stopped moving. Suddenly, Stan felt as if he was being watched.

Stan felt chills run down his spine and his skin pricked. It's too quiet, he thought. Right on cue, something dropped to the ground suddenly, and a dark looming figure unknowingly behind him. A figure with a long unnatural elongated neck, and long talon-like fingers. His lungs constricted, he gasped for breath that struggled to enter his lungs, he shakily turned around.

Out of the shadows came the woman, towering over him, smiling an unnaturally large smile, showing rows of several sharp teeth. A shaky scream erupted from Stan's throat and he fled, slamming the door to the office and never looked back.

×××

Night had fallen and Beverly and Y/n lay passed out next to one another in front of the Y/n's television set. They were both snuggled up under a shared blanket in the middle of Y/n's living room. The room was silent, apart from the soft and muffled voices coming from the TV. The alternating hues and shades casting from the TV and onto the sleeping form of the girls was the only source of light.

Laughter from the on-screen audiences echoed in the otherwise silent living room, and Y/n stirred awake. She didn't have to open her eyes to know the TV screen was bright. Soft hues were peeking through her eyelids and she sighed quietly, knowing she had to get up from her spot and turn it off. She sat up slowly, cautious not to move too much and wake Beverly.

She gently pulled the blanket off her form and it wasn't until her legs were exposed had she realized how hot she had become. Her apartment didn't have the best air conditioning, and summer nights like these made getting comfortable no easy feat. She tiptoed across the room and bent down to switch off the TV. The room was now eerily silent, and she could hear a slight ringing in her ears. She froze when she heard a soft rustling come from Beverly, who stirred in her sleep.

A brief moment passed as Y/n prayed silently that she hadn't woken Bev up. When nothing happened, she visibly relaxed. Her eyes were still very much heavy from sleep, she trudged back to her spot on the floor, and laid down underneath the blankets.

She breathed contently at the feeling of her chilled pillow as it met her heated cheeks. Her feet wiggled their way out from under the blanket subconsciously for air, the thin blanket clinging to her sweaty legs. She mentally thanked her past self for opting for her shorts over her long pajama pants. She nuzzled her head gently into the plump cushion and felt sleep blanket her conscious.

Y/n was eased in and out of sleep like the tide wading up the sand before slinking back out. She was unaware of how much time had passed, but at one point she became aware of Beverly kicking her leg. She frowned, ignoring it, figuring she had done it accidentally.

She felt the groggy fog of sleep wash over her brain once more. Until she felt a tug on her exposed foot. She frowned, moving her leg away, growing cranky.

Y/n groaned in protest, a pouty look contorting her face, her eyes still glued shut.

Another tug.

"Knock it off, Bev," she whined into her pillow.

Another tug.

"Jesus, Bev, I mean it! I'm trying to sleep" she groaned louder.

No reply. That's when Y/n realized there hadn't been any reply from Beverly the first two times. Not even a breathy chuckle or any sign that Bev had acknowledged her. Or even heard her. She opened her eyes slowly. Soft white slats of light that were creeping through the window was the only source of light.

Beverly was right next to her, under the blanket, her back to Y/n. And snoring. She was fast asleep. She couldn't have done it. She frowned and propped herself up slightly to get a better look at Bev and she stared in confusion. She looked around the room, but she saw nothing unusual. Her eyes landed on Beverly again, her racking her brain for any possible solution.

The next thing she knew, she was flung back as she was pulled violently forward across the carpet. Her head smacked into the floor rather harshly, and she temporarily lost her senses. She felt her stomach plummet and she gasped when she made herself peer up. Standing there, towering over her was an impossibly tall, slender figure with disheveled tufts of red hair poking out on all sides and a ghostly white face. Its large bulbous head was cracked and dry, like chipped paint and it was smiling down at her hungrily. It was a clown.

She would have screamed but nothing came, she had no voice. She trembled violently in terror and she felt hot tears stream down her cheeks, she was begging her limbs to move but they all failed her. His arms were impossibly long, and they were twig thin. No thicker than a paper towel roll and they stretched down all the way to her leg, and he hardly had to bend down to reach. Her left ankle was captured in his thin gloved hand.

The clown smiled, forming an anatomically impossible U shape, showing rows upon rows of teeth. Its eyes were completely black, save for two glowing yellow irises in the center. Y/n felt her leg grow damp and she realized he-it- whatever the hell this thing was, was now drooling on her, it's fingers still coiled around her leg.

Y/n hadn't realized she was in pain until she heard herself whimper. Long sharp claws that ripped through his white gloves were now hooked into her ankle tearing her skin to shreds as he pulled. She realized she was slowly being pulled towards the clown inch by terrifying inch. Y/n flinched when she heard a scream until she realized it had been her own.

Beverly jumped awake in a frightened panic, looked everywhere around the room, but she found nothing but her traumatized friend.

She saw her friend sitting up straight, slightly farther down from her pillow, shaking violently. Her mouth was open, and her eyes were wide and bloodshot, silent sobs shook her body and her gaze was focused a million miles away.

"Jesus Y/n, what happened?" She brought herself forward and wrapped her arms around the girl.

"C-Clo-" But she was never able to finish her sentence.

She collapsed into sobs, still shaking with fear. Beverly's heart broke as she cradled her. She gently swayed her, rubbing her hand up and down Y/n's arms soothingly.

Beverly felt her shoulder grow damp from Y/n's tears but she didn't care. She just continued to try and soothe her best friend. Y/n flinched at just about every move Bev made, and her heart broke more, understanding more than anyone, and Bev tried not to move too much.

Beverly sat comforting her friend for the better half of an hour. Finally, her sobs had died down, but her eyes were still wide, still very much alert form the horrifying encounter. She sniffled, nuzzled into her friend's arms, and occasionally Bev's long red hair tickled her nose and she'd sniffle.

Beverly finally spoke up in a gentle whisper. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She felt Y/n shake her head no, and she felt her shoulder grow damp once more.

Finally, Y/n spoke, her voice came out in a harsh whisper, it cracked ever so slightly. Either her screaming or lack of words or some combination of the two had taken a toll on her voice.

"Y-you wouldn't believe me,"

"Of course I would, Y/n." She assured.

It was quiet again, and tears silently streamed down her cheeks.

"I can't..."

Bev sighed, hugging her Y/n tighter if that was even possible.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna force you. Here," she gently pulled herself away to look her friend in the eye. "Why don't we turn on the lights and grab some midnight snacks from the kitchen and just talk, okay? I have a feeling you're not going to want to go back to sleep. Am I wrong?"

Y/n shook her head no, and Bev smiled. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

Bev rose to her feet and walked over beside the couch to the lamp on the side table and switched it on. Soft yellow light lit up the room. Both girls squinted from the bright light, both of them having gotten used to the dark. And Beverly tiptoed to the cent of the room.

"Must have been some nightmare, huh?"

Y/n went pale, her eyes fixed on something. She had tried to tell herself that everything she just saw was a figment of her imagination. She would have loved nothing more than that horror show to be just a twisted nightmare. And as Beverly had soothed her, calmed her and comforted her, she had almost begun to believe it. That was until she shifted her foot slightly and felt pain flare up on her ankle.

Beverly was unaware of her friend's rising panic. Her back to her friend as she rose slightly on her tiptoes to reach the dangling metal chain for the fanlight on the ceiling.

"Now, let's get some comfort food in you. I myself am craving some..." she trailed off, her eyes bulging out when she saw Y/n.

In the dark, neither of them had seen it. And Y/n had still been in such a state of shock, she forgot all about the pain.

Y/n's sad and panicked eyes were fixed on her ankle. Another defeated whimper escaped her throat as she stared at the three long and deep gashes that trailed down her left leg, blood staining her [s/c] and the carpet beneath her.

+++

@seasidecrowbar @bevxmarsh @supernovawriting @readyforitbitch @classiprincess @edsloveshisrichie @sivords @ravenclawsprincess @pigwidgexn @kricketwritesstories @sweetpeasserpentprincess23 @plum-duels @edmunds-torch @eddiegaykaspbrak @rosi3e @welcome-to-derry @beepbeep-pennywise @candycorntroll @bibliophilesquared @ongaku-ato-kakikomi @cocastyle @peachysinnermon @mochibarnes @captainshazamerica @kaitlynjones12 @songbird-writes @traceylader

#it #it rewrite #it chapter 2 rewrite #eddie spaghetti #eddie 2019 #eddie kaspbrak x reader #eddie kaspbrak #eddie 2017 #reader insert #it reader insert #series #beverly marsh #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #stan uris #• chapter 2 •#pennywise #filler chapter #kinda?

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heizerux · 5 years

Text

Battle of the Miraculous (Love Eater and Miracle Queen) Analysis (Few Translations included)

“Some people may have their problems, but at the end everything will be okay.”

—Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miracle Queen Monologue)

(Disclaimer: Budgets and animation production play a huge part in how episodes are made and released . . . but this time it was straight up the network’s choice and a bad one :| Also I’m fully aware Chat Blanc and Felix may answer a few extra things, but for now I’ll just talk about what I’ve seen.)

I’ll be going over the finale in the Topics:

Hesitations

Relationships

Beginning of the End

The Future? (Season 4 Talk)

I rewatched the episode with subs I could fully read and understand so I’m ready to talk about it now. Let's go. . .

FYI: I’m gonna be mainly dissecting Miracle Queen because A LOT happened here that I HAVE TO let out.

Hesitations

In Heart Hunter/ Love Eater we got a good consensus of how every character is doing. To summarize, we know Luka has deeply fallen for Marinette and constantly thinks about the song that is her. Kagami is much closer to Adrien and is open about her feelings to him. Luka and Kagami are also now officially good friends with their supposed love rival. Really everyone is getting along PERFECTLY. . . . But then Kagami and Adrien get much closer and all Marinette can do is just let the one she loves go.

In Miracle Queen, Marinette cries to Luka and admits in her monologue that nothing is going and if anything things are painful. . . but that it’s nice to have someone that’s there for her when she need it. . . this someone being Luka. Before the bees attack, Marinette makes a move to move on by wanting to hear his finalized song, but Luka questions an important question:

“You’re still thinking about Adrien?”

Meanwhile, Adrien breaks away from the kiss with an “Oh! Uh, it’s my first time, I’m not ready!” excuse even though it’s clear he’s unsure about advancing things with Kagami. But then her version of the important question is:

“But when will you be ready, Adrien? . . Your hesitation hurts.”

*queue the bees* So as of this point, Adrien and Marinette have finally faced their actual obstacle in terms of romance: Their HESITATIONS.

This entire season, we’ve had instances in which Adrienette has had the thought of wanting to be something more (either through a crush or Plagg’s perseuations), but there was always the thought of “But there’s Luka/Kagami. . .” Ikari Gozen shed this for Marinette, Stormy Weather 2.0 shed this for Adrien. . .

Anyways Chloe calls forward people who have held a miraculous and exposes them (both in identity and diss lol) btw she did say Luka looked “kinda cute”

Ladybug and Chat Noir find each other confused as to how things went south so fast and Chat just asks “What did Fu tell you?”, to which Ladybug basically answers “Nothing” and has break down admitting she accidentally lead Hawkmoth to Fu.

Relationships

This moment right here. . . it's IMPORTANT.

Chat sees Ladybug vulnerable and consoles her letting her know to focus on saving Fu and not to worry more on the rest mistakes. Ladybug thanks him and the two hug. . . but like ACTUALLY hug.

I’m not talking someone hugging the other in attempt to save the other from harm, but an actual genuine friendly hug. Chat Noir isn’t being flirty or making advances, and Ladybug isn't annoyed or pushing Chat away. Their relationship as heroes is no longer just partners. . . but officially CLOSE FRIENDS.

Moving on, they kick ass, get the likely to be former wielders’ miraculous back and face off with Chloe. To summarize, she tells Ladybug that she’s the real enemy because she doesn’t trust her and goes on to equip all the miraculous. She tries to use them all but all the kwamis basically told her to go fuck herself in the form of “You don’t even know our commands.”

Oh, but what’s this? ANOTHER advancement in the Ladynoir relationship. Ladybug turns to Chat all vulnerable once more, and he picks her back up. This is the first time in a WHILE (since Origins) that Ladybug had confided in Chat with her vulnerability and fears of failure TWICE in ONE day. Don’t forget about this for next season.

The Beginning of the End

After telling Ladybug that she now has all the keys and knowledge about the miraculous, Fu then decides its time. No not the grim kind of time, but the time to finally pass on the torch to Ladybug. He officially denounces his role as guardian, which renders all inactive miraculous useless. (I’m actually not certain but it IS what I noticed considering the active miraculous were still working but the inactive ones became empty jewelry shells as the kwamis got transferred into a brand new box for Ladybug. I’m sure S4 will have the answers here.) Hawkmoth is literally disappointed and leaves with a weaker Mayura.

Chloe angrily tells Ladybug she just wants to be Queen Bee and be the REAL MAIN HERO, to which Ladybug simply answers “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that, Chloe.” Chloe then throws a tantrum saying “FINE! I am not your fan anymore. I will go live with my mom because you don’t even deserve to breath the same air as ME.” and runs away.

Oh yeah, Chat lost Hawkmoth and Mayura :D. . . . *high five*

ANYWAYS, Ladybug and Chat Noir go to vibe check on Fu while Gabriel vibe checks Nathalie. One is alive and well and the other is alive and. . . yeah.

KEEP IN MIND, NATHALIE NOW HAS ACQUIRED THE INFO SHE NEEDED FROM FU’S BELONGINGS TO REPAIR THE PEACOCK MIRACULOUS. DO NOT FORGET THIS FOR NEXT SEASON.

Back to Fu, he wakes up but. . . ya GUESSED IT (or didn't) . . . lost his memory along with his duties as guardian and this marks the END of an era. . .

ML LORE: THE GUARDIAN RULE IS THAT YOU ERASE YOUR MEMORIES OF KNOWING ABOUT THE TRUE POWER OF THE MIRACULOUS ONCE YOU DENOUNCE YOUR ROLE IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE current? WIELDERS. EVEN THE USE “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG” DOES NOT UNDO THIS.

DEFINITELY DO NOT FORGET THIS MOVING FORWARD IN THE SERIES (but mainly if you really like lore or just want to use this as a fic tool :3)

Techincally, someone did die this episode, but it was the person we all once knew as Master Fu. Now it is just Wang Fu. He returns Ladybug’s “lost key” thinking she dropped it? and then marks the a new beginning.

Chloe returns to expect her mom to be getting ready to leave, but finds her parents finally happy and in love. . . I’m actually really happy this happened. Chloe needs a loving home and if this helps her in anyways, ABOUT TIME.

“As you start to get older, you start to understand that life doesn’t always give you what you thought it would. I wanted to tell you this in person, Marinette, but if you are reading this it is because I’ve already lost all my memories. Do not be afraid, you haven’t lost all of me completely. Like I told you in the beginning of the letter, losses are a part of life, but this isn’t important. The only thing that’s important is if you’ve won (?) or not. That is the key to be able to accept changes as they come on your own. To be able to accept everything as a whole even when you feel life hasn’t given you enough. The real gift, is life itself.” —Fu

no I’m not crying, you are

After retrieving Master Fu’s leftover gifts for Marinette, she takes him to see Marianne to their new home (assuming), to whom Wang Fu has met for the first time but is already fully in love with. Marinette gives them a final parting gift, to where his last words to her are:

“Thank you, young lady. I’ll never forget you.”

okay, okay, maybe a TINY tear has left my eye. . .

Now to our final scene of the season. Adrien and Marinette are closer friends and nothing is distant between the two, They’re even so comfortable small talk is like second nature to them . . . they’ve also both finally faced their own hesitations and decided to give the person in front of them a shot for and for all: Luka and Kagami.

“The real gift, is life itself.”

okay okay I’m SOBBING aghhhHHHHHHHH--

Oh and Gabriel seems to have repaired the peacock miraculous 👀

The Future (?)

Okay, so THAT’S how Season 3 ended. It feels bittersweet, I cried about it when I got home and watched it with real subtitles, but now lets talk about what we can expect to come in Season 4. It’s all guess and theories but I guess here’s mine:

Marinette now fully changed and matured with her new role as guardian, will probably be a lot more calmer with her approaches. The relationships will likely be that Lukanette and Adrigami will try to flourish further as both Adrien and Marinette decided to stop hesitating and going for what’s in front of them. . . but so will Ladynoir.

I’m, for the time being, jumping ship on the theory that Ladybug will fall more in love with Chat, and Chat still being loyal to his lady will equally return the feelings as this happens further. . . but of course their civilian relationships will interfere. . . and idk about you guys but that department looks like it’s going to be interesting.

I may add more later on, but I just needed to get all this out in one post for the finale. I’ll still watch Felix and Chat Blanc cause I’m in denial that yes, this was basically it already . . . But the wounds are still fresh in my soul for this show and it still hurts. . .

So yeah . . . Lila Rossi who?

Don’t know her. . .

and neither did Hawkmoth in that finale 👀 *sips tea*

#ml love eater #ml loveater #ml miracle queen #ml season 3 finale #ml analysis #ml thoughts #ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #ml spoilers #ml season 3 #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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c-hristy · 4 years

Text

Obsession - Part 1 of 'Addicted' 《Charlastor AU》

“You will manage?”

“I will.”

“Make sure you stick to your promises. I do not like being disappointed.”

She hummed to herself as she plopped down on a barstool, adjusting her skirt that the slit wasn’t quite so revealing. Beatrice had her tights on, as per request, though she wasn’t a huge fan of them. The bartender glanced at her once and she smirked toward the demon, tipping her head.

“I’ll get to ya in a moment, Bea.” He said to her, ducking under the counter, “Got a fuck ton of newbies for some reason.”

“Gotcha,” Bea shrugged, tapping her nails on the bar counter, “Take your time. I’ve got all night.”

Her eyes turned to the array of television screens that decorated the walls of the bar. Most of the volumes were set to low, subtitles covering the bottom. Sports games, news, drama shows. The bar showed it all; made for more customers if they catered to a wider variety. Bea turned the barstool slightly so that she could catch a better view at one of the screens across the room that was playing some drama that she had seen once before.

A demon sat down on the stool beside her and she flicked her eyes over to see who it was. Surprise trickled down her spine as she met eyes with her new seatmate.

His grin spread delightedly across his screen and Bea felt her heart flutter slightly at the sight, “Hello.”

Beatrice blinked and looked behind her, turning back to the demon in front of her, “Who, me?”

He laughed, a sound that was slightly filtered. She liked the sound; in a way, it reminded her of her father’s filter, “Yes, you. Can I buy you a drink?”

“I guess.’ She shrugged nonchalantly, tilting her head and a small smile spreading across her cheeks, “Anything I want?”

“Anything,” Vox nodded his head, motioning toward the bar, “I don’t really lack funds.”

Her sweet smile turned impish as she swiveled the barstool, her voice bright, “Hey, you ready?”

The bartender nodded, holding up a glass, “Your usual?”

“Nah,” Bea’s eyes flickered over to Vox, “Get me a blue motherfucker.”

The bartender grinned at her and she winked back, watching him mix the drink. Once the glass was placed in front of her, she took a long sip, relishing in the flavor.

“What brings you here, buying me drinks?” She turned to Vox, setting the glass on the bartop.

“Couldn’t just leave a pretty girl sitting by herself.” His voice was playful, a grin on his screen, “Thought I would come say hello.”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me,” Her eyes brightened, a soft red glow coming from them as she took another sip of her drink, “You wouldn’t just come up to the Radio Demon’s daughter without a proposition. What do you want?”

He laughed easily, leaning onto the counter slightly, “Do I really need a reason for some conversation?”

Bea thought it over for a moment before shrugging, taking another drink, “I guess not.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Bea not a hundred percent sure on how to carry on conversation. She didn’t have the widest variety of social experience; her friends were mainly just her siblings. She turned back to the television that was across the room, idly sipping her drink as she watched some commercial for a murdering professionals business. The tune was catchy; she found her fingers tapping along to the beat.

Once she finished her drink, she set the glass on the bartop and sighed, feeling the warmth curl in her stomach. Vox chuckled at her pleased face and she turned to him, a small smile on hers.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Halfway through her next drink, Bea abruptly turned to Vox and grinned impishly at him, “What’s your favorite way to waste time? Because it sure seems like sitting here not talking is something you’re good at.”

Vox’s eyes glitched in a way that made it seem like he was rolling them and Bea snickered, “There’s plenty going on around us. I’m not wasting time.”

“Oh?” She peered around, eyebrows furrowing, “What do you mean?”

“See in the corner,” He nodded toward a pair of demons that were huddled close to each other in a booth, “Those two are fucking right now.”

Bea squinted and she laughed when she realized that one of the demons was indeed, on top of the other, “Damn!”

“And over there,” He nodded toward a trio of demons that were near the door, “A drug deal gone bad. The drugs are laced. They’re going out to brawl.”

“Why not just fight in here,” Bea murmured, tapping her nails against her glass, “That would be much more fun.”

“The bartender warned them that if they fought again in here, they’d be banned.” Vox’s grin was infectious and she copied it, her ears flicking.

“Oh, neat.” She tried her best to tune into all of the different conversations around her, though a lot of words seemed to blend together and she sighed in irritation, taking a long drink, “How do you manage to keep it all separate?”

“Lots of practice.” He shrugged, “Years of being able to separate the voices.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re really old.” Bea laughed, eyes bright, “Older than my dad. That’s just weird. You tryna cradle rob, huh?”

His screen turned slightly pink and he turned away from her. Bea began to laugh harder, setting her drink down and wrapping her arm around her waist.

“No-”

“Yanno, Vox,” Bea slid off the stool, brushing her fingers down her skirt and adjusting the slit once more, “You’re not so bad. I’ve gotta get home, I promised my brother I’d help him with a stream.” She winked at him, making sure her purse was tightly adjusted around her shoulders before turning and then looking at him over her shoulder, “Give me a call, yeah?”

Before he could reply, the Radio Demon’s daughter left the bar, dodging under a few demons that tried to swipe her bag from her shoulder. Her grin was still spread on her face and Vox couldn’t find it in him to call out for her.

She hadn’t even given him her number.

“Where is she?”

“It’s taking longer than I expected.”

“Get it done, Vox.”

“I will. I always do.”

Bea turned her cart down the aisle that had the boxes of pasta and the like, browsing through the selection. Even in Hell, there was a good business with growing crops and the like, so there were a lot of the same foods that Alastor told her were on Earth in Hell. She reached out for a bottle of alfredo sauce, turning the jar so that she could look over the ingredient list.

She knew that it was better to make those types of things homemade anyway, and Charlie liked to cook - she just was looking for shortcuts so she could eat whenever she wanted.

“Beatrice!”

She turned, still holding the jar. Immediately, her normal frown turned upward into a little smirk, eyes brightening, “Hi there, Vox.”

The TV demon’s smile was stretched across his entire screen, his hands on his hips, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow, setting the jar into her cart and then turning back to the boxes of pasta to pick one out, “Why?”

“You never actually gave me your phone number.”

Her cheeks flushed a brilliant red and she dipped her head forward so that her hair would cover the stain on her cheeks, “Ah, shit.”

“So I’ve been trying to find it. But it’s nowhere.” He shrugged, the grin turning slightly into a smirk.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” She took a deep breath, reaching out and grabbing a box of fettuccine, dropping it into the cart and then gripping the handles, “It’s a little weird that you’ve been trying to find it.”

He shrugged, following her as she started to make her way down the aisle, “You told me to call you.”

“Yeah, well,” She peered up at him, her blush still staining her cheeks, “I didn’t really expect you to.”

Vox seemed pleased with the blush on her cheeks and Bea felt her heart flutter slightly at the look on his screen. His tone was playful when he spoke, “Can I have it now?”

“What?”

“Your phone number. Can I have it?”

Bea cleared her throat and nodded quickly, eyes widening, “Yeah! Give me your phone. I’ll plug it in.”

Vox rifled through a pocket in his jacket, pulling the device from it. His claws gently raked over her skin when he handed her the phone and she yanked her hand back, startled at the contact. She opened up his contacts and opened up a new file, titling herself as ‘Bea’ with a little fire emoji. She typed in her phone number and then saved it, handing him back his phone.

“There ya go, all saved up.” She grinned up at him before heading down toward the dairy aisle, lugging a few gallons of milk into the cart and then sighing, her nose wrinkling, “I don’t think my mom thought very deep into how I was going to get these home. I let the car go home and said I would walk.”

“I could help you carry them home.” He offered, “How far do you live?”

“Just a few blocks.” She murmured, setting one of the gallons back onto the shelf so she only had two, moving down to where the cheese was, “I can call the car to come back, but that would take a while. Raz and Daz are probably already comfy in the kitchen with mama. She’s making donuts today.”

Vox nodded, watching her browse through the cheeses before she picked a few out, “It looks like you’re planning to make something?”

“Yeah,” Bea turned to him and smiled, pointing to the pasta, “I’m gonna attempt to make some meat pasta. It’s my dad and I’s favorite; mama doesn’t really like making it since it means she has to shred meat and she doesn’t like to touch it.”

Vox motioned toward the creamer that was on a shelf nearby, “If you add that to the cheese and stuff, it’ll make it creamier, rather than using milk.”

Her eyes brightened with an excited glow and she took it off the shelf, setting it in the cart, “Maybe I’ll try to make some of my own sauce. I guess I don’t need the whole jar anymore.”

“I can run it back for you.” He picked up from the cart and she nodded toward him.

“I’m gonna go look at veggies.” She pointed down the aisle toward the produce section, “If you want to keep walking with me.”

His grin split his screen as he walked back to the aisle with the pasta sauce. Setting it down, his phone buzzed in his pocket and Vox pulled it out, opening the text message.

‘You’ve been gone for a while.’

He sighed, irritated as he typed back, ‘I’ll be back later. Something came up.’

He set the phone back into his pocket and ignored it when it buzzed again, knowing exactly who it was and not wanting to bother with it. Vox headed back through the aisles, shifting out of the way of two demons who were arguing loudly after the last loaf of bread.

Bea stood in front of the mushrooms, weighing two different boxes in her hands. They were different; one was white mushrooms and the other was portahella. Vox watched her expressions change as she considered the two before she unceremoniously tossed both cartons into the cart and then pushed it forward to where the fresh herbs were.

His smile softened as he watched her pick a few out. He kept his distance and watched, head tilted just slightly. She took a strong inhale of one of the herbs and her nose scrunched up, Bea tossing the offending item back onto the shelf. Vox made sure to grab a can of chicken broth before walking back over to her.

“Here,” He held the can up, “You simmer this with the cream and the cheese and it’ll make a sauce.”

“Oh, thanks.” She grinned at him, picking up a bag of spinach and pursing her lips, “You think this would go good in it?”

“With mushrooms and cheese? I don’t see why not.” Vox knew how to cook; not that he could eat what he made, per say, but he enjoyed the aspect of it.

Bea hummed in approval and threw it in, looking over the cart, “I know we have meat at home and mama just asked for the milk, so I think I’m good.”

Vox and her chatted more about how she should put the sauce together as she checked out. The demon ringing her up gazed at the two of them; the fact that the TV demon was chatting so amicably with the Radio Demon’s daughter was odd to him.

Bea picked up the bags while Vox grabbed the gallons of milk, the two of them walking out into the streets of Pentagram City. Many demons parted as they walked, whispers drifting into Bea’s ears. She couldn’t really find it in her to care - he was really entertaining to talk to.

As they grew closer to the estate, some sort of unease settled in her stomach. Her teeth worried at her lip and she stopped them a few hundred yards from where the gate was.

“I’ll take it from here,” She shifted the bags so that they were settled on her arm, reaching for the gallons of milk, “I don’t think my dad would be happy if you came onto the property.”

Some whisper of the deal he made tugged at the back of his mind and he forcibly shoved it away, handing her the containers, “That’s quite alright.”

Her smile widened, “Call me.”

“Well, now that I’ve got your number, it’ll be a lot easier!”

Bea laughed, turning, “Asshole. See ya around.”

Over the course of the next few weeks, Bea was near constantly on her phone. Alastor wasn’t used to seeing his daughter so attached to the device; she normally didn’t use it as often as she was now. She also used to always keep it on vibration, but now, every few minutes, her ringtone would go off and it was slowly starting to grate at his nerves.

“Beatrice, darling,” He looked up from the book he was reading in the living room. Bea sat on the couch beside him, her gaze locked on the phone screen, “If your phone is going to ring incessantly, please, turn it on lower.”

“Oh, sorry, dad.” She murmured, fingers going to the volume keys and pressing it lower until it vibrated once.

“What has captured your attention?” He peered over her shoulder and she immediately closed the screen, shoving it into the pocket of her sweatshirt.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

His grin tightened. She never was one to hide things from him; she always did such a poor job at keeping secrets and this seemed to be no difference, “You are a terrible liar, my fawn.”

Bea rolled her eyes, pulling her legs up to her chest and looking over at him, “I would never lie. I’m way too pure for that.”

Alastor chuckled, setting the book down on the table next to the sofa, “You must be misguided.”

“Eh, I guess you’re right.” Her lips curled upward in a smile and her phone vibrated. Immediately, she pulled it from the pocket and opened it, typing so quickly that Alastor was unable to see who exactly she was messaging before the screen turned off once more, “Oh! That reminds me. Did you like that pasta dish I made the other day?”

The buck’s grin became more genuine and he nodded, “I did! Where did you find the recipe?”

“Oh, a friend gave it to me. I was thinking of making something like that again. Maybe a lasagna or something.” Her tone was bright as she looked up at her father.

“I made your mother a lasagna for our first date,” Alastor began, the sound of his voice crackling with fondness, “A vegetable lasagna.”

“Ew, what?” Bea’s nose wrinkled up and she shivered, “How do you have lasagna without meat?”

Alastor laughed, “She did enjoy it! Perhaps the both of us could make one for us and Franklin and then one for your sister and mother.”

“Oh-” Her phone went off again and she pulled it out, quickly typing another message, “Sure, I’m cool with that.”

He watched as she continued to message, her fingers moving along the keys in a way that he was uncertain how. Her messages were short and sent in rapid succession - the name at the top of the screen read ‘TV’ and that was it. Worry ebbed in his stomach - what was she hiding to the point that she was unable to even tell him what was going on?

“It’s been two weeks.”

“I know.”

“Well?”

“. . . I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

The room suddenly felt ten times colder.

“What did you just say to me?”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin oc #hazbin beatrice #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin trashcan #charlastor #charlastor child #charleston au

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