#make them younger and I’m fucking DYING here

[mamayan]

You up? Give us some delicious yandere stuff 🙏 let's say... Fae King yandere and changeling darling 😏✨

This turned into a full fic :3 ~★ In honor of some monster fucking!

Yandere! Dark Fae King x Darling! Changeling

tw: NSFW • Obsessive/Possessive Themes • Non-Human Morality • Kidnapping • afab Reader • Dubcon • Oral (F) • Grooming (reader is of consenting adult age) • Forced Mating • Imprisonment • Violence (not toward reader) • Implied Murder • Rough Sex • Praise • Overstimulation • Dumbification • Belly Bulge • Size Kink

Part Two: Here

“…hic…sniff…”

Dark eyes glanced into the cool night, curious as to what creature was disturbing his evening.

“…hic…” it came again, much to his chagrin.

The still lake reflected the full moon like a mirror. To his left, not too far off, he honed in on the disturber. Something small and curled up. Shaking. The oddity enough to catch his full attention as he stood silently. The night his home and prison as he swiftly left in a puff of smoke over to the location of his intruder.

You.

His first instinct to end your miserable life, a human somehow entering his domain and crossing his barriers, but upon a closer look… he realized you were of his own kind.

A changeling at that. An abandoned fae left to die in the hands of mortals. Few if any live to maturity like this, but your short human stature led him to believe your growth was surely stunted due to neglect. Young fae needed abundant love and care in their infancy, the first 100 years of life incredibly crucial for their development. Least they end up like him and his kingdom. You were even younger than full maturity, though your physical body had completed it’s growth, your magic was weak and juvenile.

You were making odd noises which drew his curiosity, moving closer to your form, face buried in your lap as you hunched over your drawn up legs. Your feet were bare as the edges of the water lapped at them. Clothing sparse and tattered, rags unfit for even a human, let alone a Fae nearing maturity.

“Noisy little thing,” he hums aloud, startling you as you jolt and nearly throw yourself into the water. Your neck snaps up, pretty face swollen and blotchy from tears looking up and up until you saw a creature looming over you.

Your scream is cut off by a clawed dark hand, slapping over your mouth and muffling the cry as you try to jerk away in fear and panic. He watches in mild amusement, snickering as you realize your struggle is futile and efforts dying down. “Scream if you like, but none other than I will hear it out here.” He assures ominously, thin onyx colored lips pulling back to bare his razor sharp canines and pearly teeth at you. His grin savage and delighted in your terror.

He watches curiously as your wide doe eyes well up with tears, the crystalline droplets spilling up and over your cheeks, soft lips quivering beneath his palm. You reminded him of an animal imploring their predator for mercy by revealing their underbelly. There was a word for it…

Cute. His mind conjured at last. He found you cute, a changeling bold enough to intrude into the kingdom of the corrupted. You hadn’t even dropped the mirage covering you, old magic from your biological family still covering your natural appearance to mimic the human you parasitized off the life of.

“Why do you cry little one?” He asks softly, attempting not to terrify you further and avoid his questions.

You hesitate, but his molten gold eyes seem to melt through your defenses despite his dangerous and beautiful appearance. “I’m wrong,” you sniffle, grateful when he removes his enormous hand off your face, the sharp claws tipped in gold frightening against your soft breakable skin. “All wrong… and I don’t know what to do.” You curl back up around yourself, as if he too will cast judgement upon you.

He awkwardly mimics your stance, curiosity blazing as watches you in fascination. You find the way his monstrously large form contorts to sit like you somewhat baffling and amusing, less frightened now that he doesn’t seem to wish you harm.

“How are you wrong then?” He pries further, cupping his defined jaw and leaning into his hand as he observes.

“I’m not…I’m not human—I’m a—a—,” you stumble, unsure if this night is even real anymore. The shock so great you’re still trying to cope.

“A faery?” He supplies, amused by the way you gesture with your hands, expression so open and easy to read. “A changeling raised amongst humans to feed off their happiness?” His deep voice purrs it happily, as if he’s glad for it.

He is. His hatred of humans not something he feels the need to hide.

You appear devastated though, “I didn’t mean to—I don’t want to hurt or make anyone unhappy.” You mumble miserably, tugging at your hair and skin, as if that will dispel the magic which hides your true appearance.

“That’s just how our kind is, we need that happiness to grow properly.” He rubbles, eyeing your shocked expression. “We also happen to be fickle creatures ironically, and if a newborn is thought to need too much care, it is pawned off on humans who have more patience.” He clarifies, smiling as you seem to take him in with new eyes.

“You— are you a faery too? You just seem…” he chuckles as you awkwardly trail off.

“Evil? Centuries ago humans once called me the devil,” he laughs, his dark hair falling into his face like a waterfall as he shakes the loose fluffy curls, his pointed horns jutting from the top of his forehead jet black and smooth like ivory. He was too beautiful to call a devil, though you supposed it could be because of that which he was deemed so. His every feature seeming to catch your gaze with it’s beauty.

“I was going to say different…” you trail off shyly. “You don’t seem evil to me at least.”

He pauses, taking you in again as you regard him with those harmless eyes still wet with drying tears. It’d been centuries too since he’d left his kingdom, the entrance to the veil this lake he occasionally comes up to lounge by. He hasn’t seen a human since then, let alone a changeling or uncorrupted little faery like you.

He likes those pretty tears. He finds it annoying you shed them for humans you should guiltlessly take from.

His smile widens, eyes glittering mischievously and nearly glowing as he leans closer. The smell of sugar and cinnamon wafting off of him as you breathe in, nearly gasping as your mouth waters.

“How’s this little one? I’ll teach you how to be a faery, to show you there is nothing wrong with you.”

His eyes, where they should be white are entirely inky black, golden irises with reddened pupils framed by dark thick lashes, looked sincerely upon you.

He seemed genuine and kind despite his towering humanoid figure which looked to be capable of killing you easily.

It warmed you though, the thought of wanting to belong strong as you nod with a smile.

“I’d be eternally grateful.” You nod.

Sealing your fate.

“Tell me your name.” He asks sweetly, because despite his menacing size and sharp teeth and nails, your new friend was nothing but kind and gentle with you.

“Y/N” you reply easily, letting him playfully ruffle your hair as he picks out the leaves which got tangled in your locks from your travels here.

When he repeats it though, wonderful shivers shoot down your spine. He smiles, cooing at you like one might a baby as a he teases, “Such a cute name for a cute faery.”

You weakly protest, but fall into easy laughter as he swiftly changes the subject.

He was discussing proper fae etiquette. The basics, to not say please or thank you or I’m sorry. They all meant you expected more from the other or wouldn’t reciprocate, and that was just bad manners.

His soft hands, which could easily cover your entire face, were settled on your upper arms, having sat you in the grass against his chest.

He liked holding you close. Your little figure so soft, and from the dark circles beneath your human appearance, he assumed the neglect from the humans you resided amongst was growing worse. It was bad for your development.

“You should come live out here, they are vile creatures you know.” He comments every time you visit, though he never forces you to stay with him.

“It’s because I make them unhappy…” you explain sheepishly.

He shakes his head, thick brow arching as he rolls his eyes. “You are nearly completely mature now, you suck no happiness from your surroundings anymore silly girl.” Your confusion was palpable as he sighs and further explains, enjoying the squish of your tender flesh as he lightly squeezes you.

“While it is true fae infants are quite the hassle to raise, it isn’t as tortuous as humans make it out to be. In fact, most fae will take their child back if not treated well by their human surrogates.”

You hum, relaxing back against his warm chest and breathing in his sugary scent.

“So why wasn’t I—,” you stop short, brows furrowed but no longer speaking.

He doesn’t pry further, leaning his chin atop your head as he looks out at the lake.

“You won’t tell me?” You push, annoyed how he dances around your question endlessly. Your companion close enough that you feel insulted he won’t reveal it.

“My name is not to be uttered aloud, least calamity befall this land~” he’s teasing, you know he is, but still he refuses to divulge his name. “I gave you mine,” you argue again, huffing as he chuckles and lightly shoves you to your back on the grass, leaning over you and caging you in beneath him.

The moon is bright like the first time you’d met, illuminating his other worldly beauty.

“If you wish to call me something, call me Master,” he laughs, his sharp teeth no longer scaring you, but making your thighs squeeze together whenever he flashes them. He acts nothing like an immortal being, too immature and jovial to resemble someone having lived for thousands of years.

“So why do you get my name, but I don’t get yours?” You question in annoyance, avoiding his kiss to your cheek by jerking your face away. He huffs, sharp gaze daring you to dodge again.

You do. Earning yourself a warning nip to your collarbone as you yelp.

“Mean!” You cry, pushing at his chest as he snickers.

“Yes little flower, I am very, very, mean.” He rumbles, chest literally vibrating much like a cat does to purr.

“You give me weird nicknames…” you mutter, giving up as he licks your cheek. You don’t fight it, even as it feels foreign to you, trying to accept this side of your culture.

He licks your neck, lavishing the point where your pulse races with wet kisses and you tremble and struggle to act unaffected beneath him.

His smile is dangerous outside your view.

“Star!” You giggle, his rumble of irritation not the least intimidating to you as you roll away.

“That is an awful nickname.” He hisses, face twisted in disgust as you throw out the most horrendous names you could conjure in your pretty head at him.

“Lumi!” He growls.

“Then… Kitty?” He nearly bites you, careful not to play too roughly as he lightly tackles you down.

“If I give you a nickname, will you cease your little game?” He feels his anger fade as he wraps his arms around your smaller figure, easily pulling you into his lap. You don’t even flinch, too engrossed in your amusement to care where he handles you. You nod happily, your wish finally being fulfilled.

“Very well you stubborn creature,” he chides, “In addition to Master, you may also call me King.”

You frown. Clearly displeased by the lack of intimacy in the name. He laughs, amused by your obvious dislike. He kisses your puffed cheeks, over your pouty lips, and down to your vulnerable neck. Snickering as he goes, adoring how you so easily become pliant for him.

“I am teasing pretty flower, there was a time long ago I was called Ava, will you settle now?” He asks, voice husky as he sucks a mark into your skin, your little whine flaring his desires.

A strong urge to press you down and mate you nearly overpowers his control, but he merely holds you close and breathes your floral scent in to calm himself.

“I still prefer Kitty…” His eye twitches.

“Ava… this feels weird…” he pauses, looking down at your small form still cloaked like a human. Weak beneath him, partially nude as your skirt is pulled up to your soft belly. Your thighs are spread and shaking, his lips sucking another mark onto the thin skin of your inner thigh while you writhe.

He had your wet dripping slit open to the night air and his lustful gaze, begging for his tongue to taste.

“You don’t want to please me?” He asks, purring as you pout but deny. You were such a good little girl for him after all, so eager to learn and soak up his attention.

He resumes, licking down your thigh until his face rested above the warm mound you so sweetly offered him.

“You’re being so good for me petal, can you keep your legs open or should I help you?” He doesn’t need to look up to know you’re shaking in arousal and embarrassment. He can feel the tremors through the air as you struggle to keep your thighs spread as he asked.

“I-I need help…” you admit, feeling terribly hot as he keeps licking you, except where you seem to ache for him to lick.

He easily shifts forward, arms wrapping around you and letting your legs rest over his shoulders as he finally lets his tongue slip out to taste you.

You glance down, choking at the sight and feeling as he lets his entire tongue come out, the appendage inhumanly long and colored purple. It feels strange, the wet slimy feeling of his tongue slithering through your folds, but when he nudges the tiny nub hidden above your slit, you moan.

It sends jolts of electricity through you, hips canting up so he can to lick there again, earning you a hearty chuckle as he obliges. Licking and even curling his tongue around it, riling you up as your tiny hole leaks arousal and drips down your ass to the earth below.

“You’re making a mess petal, do you feel good? Should I stick my tongue inside you this time?” You moan, feeling the muscle prod at your unused vaginal entrance, too hazy to bother responding. He doesn’t wait for your answer, letting the thin tip of his tongue lap and taste your heady desire before poking and wiggling inside you.

It has your legs shooting straight, back arching as he holds you down with one large hand placed over your belly and chest. He groans as he feels the molten texture of your insides struggling against his intrusion, trying to force him out of your tight heat as he surges forward.

The tip of his tongue curls, swirling up and knocking the air from your lungs as a rush of hot liquid spills from your insides for him to drink down.

You shook and twitched, moaning and curling your hands around his curved horns like a handle.

The touch sends blood racing to his cock, as he moans and loudly slurps your cum down with audible squelching, enjoying the cries you released into the quiet night.

He lets you rest as he pulls back for just a moment, your body limp and panting as your high comes down.

“Good girl~” he praises, leaning over you to kiss softly at your sweaty skin, licking that too and tasting the sweet and salty mixture.

Then he’s pressing his lips against yours, forcing them open to sneak his long tongue inside your mouth, filling it and claiming that space too as his own. You’re helpless to resist, delirious on pleasure as he devours you, wiggling muscle curling and rubbing erotically around your own.

He tastes like sugar and something heavier, more musky, as you come to realize it as your own taste.

“Is this… really normal…?” You can help but ask as he pulls away, his lips still sticking close to trail kisses across your skin.

“It’s quite normal little flower, are you shy still?” He asks curiously, lifting one of your small hands and bringing it to his face, his size dwarfing you considerably. He lightly nibbles on your fingers, making a giggle bubble up as you smile and then squirm when he grins and licks your hand instead.

“A little…” you admit honestly. Always so honest and open.

He nods, as if completely understanding.

“That’s alright, we’re in no rush, I’ll teach you slowly…” there’s something else not said in his words, and you’re left drunk on his pheromones and lips as he distracts you. Then he’s kissing down, discarding your clothing and leaving you naked for his mouth and curious fingers.

Your breasts are lavished in his saliva, pebbled nipples sucked until standing upright before poked down with the tip of his tongue playfully. Always so playful, Ava nips and teases your skin, blinking innocently when you moan and glare accusingly.

“It’s not my fault you enjoy this so much petal~” he pouts, looking comical and so harmless, his glittery gold wings, almost translucent behind him, fluttering as if indignant to your silent accusation.

The golden tattoos which marked his skin more visible tonight, his clothing more minimal in his wish to feel more of you as he explores and plays.

Then he’s parting your thighs and throwing you into ecstasy again.

“Who did it?”

You sat curled around yourself, terror and dread swirling inside of you at the new side of Ava you’d never been graced with before.

The side you supposed was reserved for his enemies, but now showed to you.

Despite your fear, the tears spilling down your cheeks, and the injuries you bore, you still remained stubbornly silent.

He was going insane with rage and anguish.

You truly were a flower. So delicate and easily destroyed.

“Y/N… while I am being reasonable…Tell. Me. Who. Did. It.”

For all the times he’d made himself smaller, less alarming and more charming than his true nature called for, it made this time more appallingly. He stood to his full height, like an unwavering tree he did not budge or allow you to leave, golden eyes flaring and mixing with his red pupils to create something alarming. Even the markings which covered his dark skin seemed to glow and match his eyes, magic crackling in the air and silencing the night further.

As if the stars and moon were frightened too.

Still, still, you did not speak, even as he closed in on you, your fear so strong it almost choked him. Almost. He was too angry, too furious with the humans he liked to cast out of his mind. They needed to be taught a lesson it seemed. Their fear of the Fae renewed. They were becoming arrogant, as if their species was even in the same standing as them.

Your pretty injured face and form, battered from abuse and humiliation, was all the information he truly needed.

If you wanted to protect them, and not tell him, then he’d just punish them all as if they were the culprits.

It soothed him finally, his decision made as the ominous energy around him faded slowly. He let his rage dissipate, worry and concern bleeding through now as he crouched and shuffled towards you, claws spread and outstretched towards you.

“Come here Y/N, keep your secrets, but allow me to hold and comfort you…” his eyes darkened, the glow leaving behind almost a copper color, somber as he looks at you. There’s not pity in his eyes though, as you swallow and sigh in relief, grateful to crawl into his warm embrace where it feels safe.

He’s gentle as he wraps you in his arms, lips and tongue soothing as he tastes your tears and blood.

He grits his teeth, focusing on your scent and the feel of you to calm himself again, before letting his magic seep into your skin. You easily absorbed it, soaking it up like a sponge as your pain and injuries heal.

“Ava—?” Your eyes widen, amazement in their depths which stroke his ego as he taps his forehead against your own. His horns slightly tangling in your hair.

“Do you not want to drop the illusion on yourself?” He asks softly, staring at the human image your portray. He didn’t want to admit it, but it enraged him to see you still trying to live amongst them.

You seem surprised, before looking away nervously.

“It just feels strange… to not see myself anymore,” you confess, burrowing deeper into his chest while enjoying his ability to heal and soothe you. His sugary smell lightening your heavy heart.

He nods slowly, eyes staring at nothing over the still lake.

He holds you a little tighter.

Then you’re asleep.

The burns and screams of the people echo, the night come to life with flames and chaos.

Ava stands leisurely, smile filled with fondness as he watches the human village he’d followed and found to be your residence burn.

He’d spent all night playing with them, listening to them confess the awful things they’d done to you, said to you, and tried to do to you. They even thought of sacrificing you to some nonexistent deity, which only prolonged the nightmare he’d turned the populace into.

He laughed as the sounds swirled into music for his ears, the sharp points curling in delight as he hummed a tune older than the trees towering in this forest.

The night was still coming to an end sadly, and he’d need to return to your unconscious body still where he’d left it.

He didn’t want to let you wake in your new home alone after all.

His body covered in the blood of mortals he’d torn into and feasted on, Ava left them to perish.

Alone you woke. In a bed four times the size of any normal one, within the walls of a palace you’d only ever seen depicted in stories told by faraway travelers.

You glanced down, at hands unlike ones you were accustomed to seeing. You were nude, unable to hide from yourself as you felt tears begin to sprout. The illusion magic wasn’t working, and you couldn’t understand why.

This body was your true form, not that of the human you continuously tried to convince yourself you were. You hadn’t showed Ava, too afraid he’d see your appearance and dislike you for it.

While he was magnificent, you felt puny and odd.

A hiss snatches you from your self loathing, eyes flicking up to land on the one you’d just been thinking of.

He was covered in something, though you weren’t entirely sure what until he moved closer. The pearls lining his chambers glowed softly, his appearance more vibrant as he closed the distance between himself and the bed you laid on.

You sucked in a breath, realization dawning as the red contrasts against his skin. His lower face completely smeared in it, but his lips seemed clean. Until he grinned, red stained sharp teeth with chunks of dark meat stuck in between.

You remembered briefly him mentioning being mistaken for a demon.

You finally understood as a strange fear blossomed in your gut and you scooted away. Confusion and terror consuming you, but your body not catching up with your mind, because it recognized his scent and touch. You didn’t move quick enough, a clawed hand easily curling around your ankle and tugging you close. You slid smoothly over the cool silk, brought close to his body radiating heat. He only wore trousers, his taloned feet bare and ankles revealed as he’d cuffed them up to avoid bloody human fingers trying to grip them.

“Oh my little flower, look at you,” his eyes are swirling melted gold, enchanting and so disorienting. His beauty becoming savage with the blood and human flesh he adorned.

“A-Ava…” you want to ask, but you also don’t want the answer.

Did he find out who hurt you? Or was it unrelated? It seemed too coincidental.

Your chest constricted painfully as he stared down at you in wonder. Your true form so lovely it took his breath away, your image so fitting for you it was a wonder why you didn’t prefer this over your human mirage. Your ears, pointed like his own, were curled down a little with your emotions, as his eyes traced your face.

The shape was the same, your body still so small, and your eyes still expressed every little thought without fail.

He hated to admit it was even cuter, though he mused it was likely because he was the first to see your true form.

An abandoned young changeling, one he only took mild interest in, had him so thoroughly ravenous for all of you now.

“Isn’t this more comfortable petal? Instead of masquerading as a filthy human, aren’t you happier to just be you now?” His callous words seem off, but you can’t quite fathom it all as the shock settles in.

“My precious flower faery, are you scared?” Yes, you wanted to scream, as his bloody face and body near you, his sugary scent over powered by the scent of iron and death. Fae hated iron. He shouldn’t be comfortable.

You choked, jerking back and trying to crawl away from him, but he still had your ankle caged in his hand.

He laughs, but it’s empty and devoid of any true humor as he stares down at you with something dark in his gaze.

He yanks you back, harshly and sending a jolt of pain up your leg as you cry out, pulled back beneath him as he crawls onto the bed over you.

He’s too close, nausea consuming you as you smell and see the gore adorning him.

He finds your useless fear amusing and annoying all at once.

“I asked you a question little flower.” He grips your face, smushing your cheeks and making you look at him.

He rolls his eyes as the tears you so love to shed spill down your cheeks.

“Yes… I-I’m scared…” his smile softens, almost becoming sweet and familiar.

“Good. You should be.” Your blood runs cold.

He has the mercy to bathe, but not alone. You watch as the spray of water from some sort of piping turns pink as it disappears through tiny holes in the marble floor.

He’s nude, like you, and even though you cower and try to turn away, he easily stops any and all retreats with hardly any effort.

“I thought you didn’t like the blood? I’m still not clean petal.” His fluffy curls are flattened by the water falling above, the warm spray soaking you both as you try not to wonder why the sticky redness won’t just wash away with the water. The dried portions difficult to get off without physically touching and rubbing him with your soapy hands. You wanted to know why he was doing this, being so mean.

His ears look more distinct with his hair flat, onyx horns prominent against his forehead as his lashes hold droplets of water to frame his golden eyes.

You try not to show it, but as the blood clears and his dark smooth gold lined skin is revealed, you notice the hard lines of muscle and purple veins which protrude.

You only come up just below his chest, and you can’t look down, least you see it again.

He was making you nervous and scared on purpose, but you couldn’t understand why.

Like a coward you didn’t ask either, because you feared the answer even more.

Ava shifts, fingers coming up to cup your face in his hands and tilt your head up as he leans over you and blocks the water falling. His claws jut out beside your head, one lightly tickling your pointed little ear.

He licks his lips, loving the sight of you soaked and naked, your pretty form so enthralling to his eyes he struggles to contain himself.

“Do you want my help…?” His tone is condescending, eyes uncaring in the least about your inner turmoil.

“Here,” he drops one hand, engulfing your wrist and forcing you to plant your hand against his abdomen. “You have to wash like this—,” he teaches patiently, like none of this was happening and everything was fine. He moves your soft little hand back and forth, the soap quick to wash away as the water continues to fall. “You need more soap petal.” He informs gently, moving to stop the warm spray and letting you both stand in silence now, drops of water falling the only noise besides your breathing.

He sighs when you don’t move, your eyes trained on the corner of the spacious bathing room, where an in ground bath rests. He would take you to the hot springs later.

He fills the hand he has control of with soap, and amuses himself with using it like a washcloth, your little fingers curling as your lips tilt down into a frown.

“Since you need the help,” he goads, watching as those sweet familiar doe eyes flash up a glare from the corner of your eye.

He smiles, a nasty grin filled with something sinister as he chuckles darkly. “Don’t want to be my good girl anymore?” It’s a loaded question you’re unsure of how to answer.

It hardly matters as he forces your hand down, until you jolt at the change in body part you were touching. He forces your fingers to close around his throbbing length, unable to touch or fully wrap around it as your head jerks instinctively to look at what he was making you do.

“A-Ava—,” you try to pull away, but to no avail. He only hums, the soap like lube as he uses your hand to jerk his cock, amused as you stare in shock. He won’t let you go, not when the sight of your smaller form holding his leaking rod is so arousing he comes a minute a later. Hips thrusting with the timing of the squeeze he forces your hand to hold, hot ropes of his seed shooting out onto your chest and belly as he cages you with his free arm from moving away. He allows his purple tapered tip to smear the remaining pearls of his seed on your skin, ignoring your whine of protest as he paints you.

“Fuck, that’s it, be good for me pretty girl,” he growls lightly, chest rattling as he releases his pent up frustration on your confused form.

Really, you couldn’t be more adorable covered in his release looking dazed.

His golden eyes heavy lidded as he crouches down to catch your lips in a heated kiss.

You swallow nervously, staring at Ava as he stares at you from across his bed chambers.

You’d fallen asleep after… after bathing, if you could even call it that, and awoken later to find yourself alone again. Ava missing and your body covered by fine silk sheets while you slept.

You’d scrambled about the room looking for escape, finding nothing but a single exit locked, which Ava now stood before.

He wore a pair of silken sleep pants, tailored to his enormous figure as well as a matching robe left loose and revealing a majority of his chest and abdomen. His wings weren’t physical but a magic which naturally formed behind him, you’d learned.

The gold markings on his body were duller than earlier, his eyes less vibrant and more cool as he looks at you.

He seems more… familiar. Less of the Ava covered in blood and flesh of humans and more of the one you’ve befriended.

He’s silent, unmoving as he stands still in the doorway.

You don’t want to make the first move, unsure in this new environment, but you similarly disliked all of this distance and miscommunication between you both.

You moved cautiously, much like the skittish animal he likens you to in his mind, off the bed. You’d wrapped yourself in one of his sheets, his scent clinging to you the only thing stopping him from tearing it off you in annoyance. He stays put, muscles taunt and jaw clenched as you approach him like he might harm you.

He debated it.

Briefly showing you why you should be obedient and just listen, but dismissing it in favor of you liking him at least to some degree.

When you reach him, he merely stares down at you, face impassive unlike your nervous and awkward expression.

“Ava…?” He finally shifts, leaning down to close the distance a little but still not touching you. It’s you who initiates, because he’s certain he’s trained you well enough in your past touch starved state that you can’t resist the comfort and warmth he provides. You wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your figure to his while looking up with those honest eyes he adores.

He finally relaxes, your touch so addicting he was unable to resist wrapping you further into his embrace while lifting you up. Your legs wrap around him instinctively, warm bare cunt now pressed against his abdomen while your arms come around his neck. The sheet loosening and falling down to pool at his feet. He finally smiles at your flustered state, not letting you climb down to grab it, instead moving you both towards his—your—bed and easily laying you down to drape over you.

“You’re calmer than I imagined you’d be…” he murmurs against the skin of your neck, kissing up to your jaw. “Should I prepare for your wrath later little flower?” He muses, lifting up to look at your expression.

“Was that blood… from a human?” You look guarded but he isn’t surprised.

“Yes.”

“Did you kill them?” He affirms again.

“Was it because of… me?” Those sweet eyes looked so haunted as you asked, as if you knew what he was going to say.

“No. It wasn’t because of you.”

You check his face, as if he were a human and would lie to you as they do.

“Then why did you do it?” You breathed, sagging in relief beneath him. His lips twitch, molten eyes shining with adoration as he looks upon you.

“They greatly offended me.” He answers vaguely, but it was the truth. They offended him by breathing and walking the earth. It was a direct insult to him. They only met misfortune because they caught his attention.

You seemed happy to accept whatever rid you of any guilt, looking up at him less fearfully now that he was clean and not being mean to you. Though, you both shared very different definitions of being “mean”.

“Am I staying the night?” You asked him curiously. You had thought he’d brought you here as he didn’t know where your home in the village was when you’d fallen asleep.

He shook his head, lips curling higher.

“You’re staying forever.” He declares, sweet scent filling your senses as he comes close enough to kiss you.

Then he does.

You thought his teasing was funny, lips tilting up finally as the awkwardness dissipates and familiarity rises.

This is your Ava, warm sweet Ava that smells so good it makes you crave sweets you cannot afford.

He presses you further into the unfathomably soft bed, his lips demanding as you open for him.

“Ava,” you break the kiss, breathing heavier as he growls and nips at your bottom lip, a shiver wracking you as he leans back enough to meet your gaze. “What we’re doing… it’s what lovers and spouses do isn’t it? At least, this is what human lovers do…” your voice becomes smaller as he stares down as you with an expression you couldn’t name.

“And?” He encourages.

You look away for a moment, gathering your thoughts before remembering out of all the cruelty in the world, Ava was the outlier.

“Is that what we’re doing? Like lovers?” You felt too embarrassed to directly state it, to say it aloud, and equally scared this isn’t anything different than exchanging a handshake with another faery to him. It was different to you.

“Do you want it to be?” He leans down, placing a feather soft kiss against your temple so you couldn’t see his eyes glowing bright. “Do you want us to be like lovers little flower?” His voice is deeper than usual, strained almost as he holds himself perfectly still above you.

You take the time to think, much to his displeasure, but when you answer it was everything for him.

“I do.”

He places a chaste kiss to your lips, his own tilting higher and higher until he’s grinning gleefully.

“Then that’s what we’ll be.” He confirms, and you miss it.

You miss every little trap he’d laid, each tiny piece of the puzzle forming around you like a cage. You miss everything and it’s too late to go back now. Ava muses wickedly, as he kisses you more sensually, lets his claws drag so delicately down your soft skin, he thinks how stupid you are.

“I’ll be all yours if you ask for it Y/N,” he speaks directly into your pointed ear, hot breath making the tips curl as you whine. The way he says your name is different than usual, more serious and seductive. You realize this seems wrong somehow, the way he’s making you melt so easily like this, how your panic and fear evaporated so quickly. You aren’t given time to think further, when he shifts and sits up. He sneers when you attempt to cover yourself again, gripping your wrist and lightly pulling you up too. On your knees, you face his chest, eyes looking up to see his heated expression.

Ava cups your jaw with one hand, and pokes at your lip with the other.

He doesn’t ask before his thumb invades your mouth, and you fight not to bite down or jerk away with his pointed claw inside.

He’s exploring, squeezing your cheeks until you open wide so he can playfully run over your sharpened canines. Curiously playing with your tongue until he leans down licks it with his own. It felt strange and erotic, your body vibrating with nerves and budding arousal as he explores you.

“Ava…” you wanted to touch him too, but he didn’t seem to be listening as he lets his hands trail down to cup your breasts, thumbs rolling over your nipples as your back arches into them.

So you let your own hands wander, bolder than usual as you feel his solid form beneath you. His skin is much softer than it appears, strange markings and golden symbols flat. He had no softer points aside from that, muscles like stone and occasionally uncomfortable to lounge against due to it.

He squeezes your waist, smiling mischievous as you yelp and glare at him. He does it again, finally chuckling as he lets his hands slip to your ass.

This time his squeeze makes you gasp, as he parts your ass cheeks and allows your heated core to be exposed to the air. His claws so careful not to tear your skin open as he drags you taunt against him, rutting his hardened cock against your soft belly.

He moans aloud as he sees the tip poke out between you, your breasts above a delicious sight as he does it again and again.

“You drive me wild pretty faery,” he smiles, licking your cheek as he easily lifts you up to toss you to the center of the bed. You sink in, huffing but giggling as he crawls over you, looking like a dark angel as he covers you completely to capture your lips in a much more filthy kiss.

“I want to devour you,” he purrs, licking and kissing down your neck and chest, spreading your legs. “Make you mine completely,” you moan, feeling delirious as he finally licks your sloppy pussy.

You moan when you feel his fingers prod your entrance, sharp claws gone and retracted as he pushes one inside you while he laps at your clit. It feels different and firmer than his tongue, able to rub and stretch you better as he begins sucking on your puffy nub and purring deep in his chest. “Your little nub is hard~ are you feeling good?” He teases, wiggling the tip of his tongue over your engorged clit.

Then he’s pressing a second finger in, a mild burn heating your core as you gasp and try to shift away to no avail. “So sensitive,” he murmurs, spearing them into you, your soft gummy walls forcefully spread around the two digits as he noisily slurps. He’s being messy and a bit rough, but your moans spur him on as he groans into your pussy when you begin clawing at his hair and whining.

“Ava! S’too much! Can’t—!” You squeak and almost bite your tongue when you cum, pussy sucking his fingers deep and massaging them as you soak his hand and face.

He doesn’t stop, eyes glowing bright molten gold as he watches you squirm and babble senselessly while he stuffs a third finger into your poor overstimulated cunt. Your little hole stretched wide around him, and he’s content to watch as your greedy lower mouth takes it as he pumps them into you.

You’re less amused though, body thrumming as the pleasure becomes overwhelming and you panic.

“Stop, I’m gonna make a mess, Ava stop—!” You cry out, eyes watering before tears fall as you struggle to stop the powerful pressure building in your core, hurting you with the intensity as he pushes you further and further. “Your insides are steadily swallowing and sucking my fingers in, aren’t you a little lewd?” He asks, unaffected by your dull nails digging into his forearm, eyes trained on your drooling hole below.

He’s got an iron grip on your hip with his other hand, nails digging into your flesh every time you try to squirm away. “You’re so lovely like this petal.”

He’s fascinated when you break again, clear fluid squirting up and out from your squelching pussy as he continues to shove his fingers in.

You cum so hard it nearly causes you to lose consciousness, eyes rolling back as you twitch and moan as the dam inside you bursts open.

You whine as he pulls free, hand dripping in gooey arousal as he brings it to his lips and slurps it up without any decorum, appearing almost starved as he gazes down at you with the eyes of a predator. “Messy girl~ I’ll teach you though,” his lips pull back to reveal his sharp teeth, “When you feel so good you think you’ll break, you’re supposed to say I’m coming, do you understand?” He asks darkly.

“No more…” your weak plea only makes him smirk, kissing you softly as he slides forward and uses both hands to cover your hips and lift your lower half up.

Your eyes feel heavy as you force them open, slow to realize that his enormous cock is now laid over your pussy, pulsing and dragging back and forth through your slick folds. The thick veiny appendage causes your trepidation to rise, realization dawning that he intends to fit that inside of you.

“It won’t fit—,” you weren’t being cute or coy, because while you may not be human, your form was still the same size as one. He was much, much bigger, and his cock certainly fit his proportions. You try to catch his attention, unable to close your legs with his body between them. “Ava,” He’s truly not hearing you at all, too enthralled and excited as he lubes his massive length up with your juices. He’s shaking a bit too, heart beating rapidly in his chest as he coos down at you mindlessly, golden orbs almost unseeing at this point as he lines up with your entrance.

“So good for me petal~ you’re all mine aren’t you?” He breathes, and you feel the weight and pressure begin as his tip breaches.

“Wait, stop Ava—!” You whine as the sting becomes a burn and then you’re being filled to the point of excess as you struggle to breathe anymore.

“Shh—♡,” he hushes you, pained as well due to the pressure around him, strangling him as he grimaces and drags back out a little before surging forward. “You’re mine now petal,” he groans.

You’re unable to form words as he works his cock into you like a piece which doesn’t quite fit, bullying and stretching you open to forcefully fit himself.

He leans more weight down onto you as you struggle and writhe, noisy cries falling on deaf ears as he feels himself slipping deeper as your body finally gives up on keeping him out. His tip touches your cervix, before shoving even further and smashing it up as your stomach aches in protest.

You lay limp as he finally bottoms out, twitching with your mouth open and drool pooling down your chin as you feel nothing but the feeling of him inside you. He huffs a laugh, the way you look ruined before he’s even gotten started.

You look like a doll in his grasp, his cock extending your stomach a little as it twitches inside you. Your thighs ache as they’re naturally forced up, unable to spread fully enough for him to settle so he’d merely folded you and pressed you down to prevent escape.

“You did it pretty girl, look at you~” he grins, one hand leaving your hip to press on your belly, making your eyes widen and roll back as you whine. “You took every inch of me in this cute cunt didn’t you?” This male over you isn’t familiar, even as his sugary scent seems to increase and smother you, he seems foreign in his words and actions.

The inconsistencies are difficult to track as he drags himself out of you, the fullness replaced by feeling each ridge and bump of veins decorating his cock as he slides out.

Then he’s pushing in again, stealing your breath and ability to think as he starts to fuck you.

“Don’t worry petal, I won’t hurt you,” you can’t quite understand as he pushes his thick rod inside you, brain shutting off as you go pliant in his hold. “I’ll go nice and slow so you never forget,” he moans as you tighten and jerk, “who owns you.” He’s holding back with all his might as you spasm and grip him in inside of you, walls sucking him back in as he moves to exit.

You make him forget.

As you slick his cock up with your juices, he begins to slip in easier, folding you down further into a mating press as he looks down at your teary face. You make him forget all the time he’s spent alone. Your moans increase as he picks up the pace, pounding nice and deep inside of you and ridding you of any thought beside him. He slips a hand down between you both, claws retracted completely as he softly presses on your swollen clit and throws you reeling into another orgasm around him. “Say it petal,” he grits out, the feeling of you tightening drawing his own end. He’s hardly able to move inside you, short thrusts all he can manage as he drags you over the edge.

“I’m coming—!” Your head tips back, neck bared to his eyes as you cum for him obediently.

He fills you up right after, heavy engorged balls drawing up as he pumps his first load of the day into you. His thrusts not stopping as he rocks forward, expression relaxing as his magic swirls inside of you, his mating mark slowly sinking into your soul as he works to keep his seed deep within your womb. You’re too fucked out to notice, the pleasure and pressure overwhelming your senses as you try to rest now.

Except his cock doesn’t soften.

He thrusts hard once he’s sure his bond has settled, feeling you so much deeper in his soul as he drags his cock out almost all the way. “It’s like your little hole misses me already,” he smiles, watching as you flutter around his tip as if to tell him you don’t want him to leave. “Tell me petal,” he slides back inside, jolting you awake as you stare incredulously down at where you both connect. The slick sounds of him slipping into your sticky wet entrance haunting as you whine, hands digging into fine silk as you try to push away.

He only presses you down harder, cock burrowing deep as if to anchor you. His eyes are wild and swirling, the color so bright it’s almost blinding in the dim room. “How does it feel to lose?”

You blank. His question not making any sense as the room spins and you’re overcome again with pleasure so intense it makes your toes and feet curl in the air where they rest.

“How does it feel to be utterly mine for the rest of eternity?” You gasp, tearing at the sheets as he picks up the pace, balls slapping against your ass as he begins to truly fuck you now. Enormous cock working you into a frenzy as you yelp when two fingers pinch painfully around a nipple. “You’re not going back pretty girl,” he laughs, face wicked and beautiful as you look up through blurry eyes spilling tears. “You’ll not return to that filthy human village,” he releases your sore nipple in favor of loosely gripping your throat, feeling your pulse beneath his hand. “You are not in the land of Fae sweet flower,” he lets his lips ghost over yours, his tip bullying your cervix as you writhe and move to claw at his shoulders. “You are in my kingdom, ours, where the corrupted Fae separate themselves,” you’re lost, eyes crossing almost dumbly as you come again, choking as you cry out his name.

You can’t move even an inch, unable to even squirm as you’re forced to take each punishing inch of his cock and he ruts into you.

“Your pussy keeps tightening up when I tell you all the ways you’re mine. Do you like this?” He delights in your pathetic attempt to push at his chest, clearly finished despite his balls still being heavy with his seed he intends to spill into you.

“A-Av-Ava!” You struggle to form even his name, let alone any sentences as he keeps up his fast and brutal pace. Though, from his perspective he was still holding back as he moans and spills himself inside you again.

“Yes flower?” He coos, pushing your hair out of your sweaty face as he pulls out just enough to grip your thigh and turn you on your side, sliding back to the hilt again. He hugs your leg to his chest, working his cock at a new angle in your abused pussy still spilling cum from earlier. “I’m listening,” he chuckles, knowing you can’t speak, aware his cock was keeping you like this.

Words die down as he uses his hand not holding your leg up to grip your hip, holding you still while pushing his hips forward, railing himself inside your exhausted body. Your head rests against the bed, mouth open as your saliva soaks into the sheets, eyes staring at nothing as you feel another impending orgasm approaching.

Ava doesn’t mind, adoring the cute cock drunk expression as he uses you like a toy, filling you up over and over while you slowly lose your mind. “I’m sorry—Ava please, I’m sorry,” your slurred speech and delirious voice make him laugh. Genuinely amused by your rambling, “Why are you sorry petal? I’m not mad,” he catches your lips, tongue invading and swallowing your cries. He finds you so cute.

His cute, stupid little changeling, so trusting and unaware of his unsavory intentions.

You lose consciousness and count when he comes with his hips pressed deeply into your ass, pressing you belly first into his hand as he keeps you angled up to meet his thrusts. Your sensitive chest rubbing against the silk below, body limp as your world goes black and you convulse around him.

This time he lets you fall flat into the soaked bedding, taking his still hard cock out so he can pry apart your pussy lips and watch his release ooze out of your gaping hole.

His golden eyes flick up to your sleeping form, lips pulling as he coos, “Cute~♡” before he’s stuffing you full again, merciless as he leans on one arm to keep from crushing you as he continues to drill into you.

Even when you regain consciousness, trying to crawl away from his torturous pleasure, he only grips your arm and twists it gently behind you to hold. “You’re soaked and so hot inside, do you know how crazy you’re making me?” He groans, almost sounding like he’s in pain as you squeeze and come again. “I’m not letting you go, stop trying to run. You’ve already lost sweet girl.” As he lifts his hips, tip still encased by your wet hot heat, he eyes the slick mess which coats you both and connects you to him. “Go ahead and go crazy too, be good and listen.” He laughs, slamming back in and making your back arch as you nearly scream, feeling him so deep it makes you wonder if he’s going to break you. You really will go crazy, it’s a fleeting thought stolen by his cock once again, but you truly worry as he drowns you with euphoria and madness.

He’s hunched and leaning over your back, letting his tongue and teeth tease your ear so sweetly while he pounds you stupid, whispering to you things you won’t remember.

“You wanted my name so badly, didn’t you my lovely mate?” He knows you don’t understand, but it doesn’t stop him from speaking on, husky voice lulling you as you cry and lose yourself to pleasure. “I’ll tell you since you’re being so good, taking my seed so well~” he lets a little more weight settle on top of you, his cock nestling into your deepest parts with it.

“I am Avarice.”

Post dividers by @cafekitsune

#Dark Fae King x reader #Yandere Fae King x reader #Yandere Fae #monster smut #Greed x reader #Fae smut #faecore #yancore #yandere x reader #fae king #yandere smut #Dark Fae #kinktober fun #request filled #afab reader #Fae x reader smut #changeling #changeling reader

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)

✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.

✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.

✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.

 

 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 

 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 

 I don’t do favorites. 

 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 

 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 

 My favorite customer. 

 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 

 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 

 I fucked Y/N once. 

 Then, twice. 

 Then, again.

 And again.

 And again…

 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.

 No. 

 It is. 

 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 

 The perfect fuck to end my day. 

 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 

 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 

 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 

 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 

 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 

 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 

 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 

 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 

 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 

 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”

 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”

 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 

 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 

 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”

 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.

 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”

 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”

 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 

 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.��� 

 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 

 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 

 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 

 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.

 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 

 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 

 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 

 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 

 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 

 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 

 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 

 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 

 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.

 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 

 No hesitation. I-

 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 

 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.

 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 

 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 

 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”

 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 

 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 

 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 

 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”

 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 

 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 

 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 

 My name drips perfectly from her lips.

 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 

 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.

 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”

 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”

 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.

 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”

 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 

 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”

 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 

 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”

 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 

 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 

 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 

 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.

 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 

 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”

 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”

 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”

 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 

 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 

 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 

 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 

 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 

 My favorite customer. 

© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.

#anime x black!reader #anime x reader #anime fanfic #fanfic smut #jjk x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji smut #toji x black reader #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro x black reader

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico really fucking hates capture the flag.

Well, not always. Last week was fun. Last week was the annual Everyone Against The Stolls (to atone for their crimes), and Nico got to chase Connor around at top speeds, cackling, committing his shrieking and begs for mercy to memory. That was nice. That almost made him forgive the fucker for digging a trench under Nico’s unwelcome mat for him to fall into at seven thirty in the godsdamn morning.

But tonight’s game is boring.

He’s been standing, alone, at the base of the flag for the past forty bajillion hours. He’d raised a few dozens skeletons to spar with at first, since animating them to fight himself isn’t technically against the rules, but that got dull fast. (It isn’t much fun sparring with a partner who doesn’t have a brain. He already has to do that enough with Percy when he comes to visit camp.) He’d climbed the various trees around the clearing, or at least he tried until he got reamed by the dryads for climbing on a manner that was too annoying (?), and tried his hands at a few summoning spells. Nothing held his interest long.

And now he’s just standing, doing nothing, and he’s not allowed to leave. He has to stay in this stupid spot on the off chance that someone comes stumbling over to fight him for the flag.

“You’re our best swordsman, she said,” he says mockingly, beaming the nastiest vibes he can manage in Piper’s vague direction. “We need you on our defensive line, she said. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”

His checks his watch. He groans. He looks critically over the grass, looking for a softer patch, and when he locates it he throws himself dramatically upon it, groaning louder.

“This sucks!” he yells, to no one.

“Will you shut up!” shouts back the dryad he pissed off earlier. “For the love of photosynthesis! Fuck!”

He bites his tongue hard to hold back laughter. (If he can avoid getting his entire cabin overgrown with prickle bushes again, that’d be great.) “Sorry,” he calls, trying with everything he has to sound contrite. Convincing his father to fight the Titan War was easier, actually. Acting is not his calling.

“Hmph!”

At least listening to see if she’ll come out and yell at him again provides something to ease his boredom. Yes, he’s going to regret bothering her, but in his defense, solo guarding is cruel and unusual punishment. He’d rather sit by an outlet with a fork and see if he can poke and let go fast enough to avoid dying. That at least would be interesting.

A rustling of leaves recaptures his attention, and he pauses.

“Holly?”

When no one answers, which is odd because she’s taken every opportunity in the last hour to either insult him or pelt him with stones, he lifts his head.

“You’re not going to scare me, dude. I had my fear glands surgically removed to become a better soldier.”

Not true. Obviously. But a fun bonus of being the camp weirdo is that no one doubts anything he says. He’s working on convincing everyone younger than him that he needs weekly tributes of chocolate delivered to his door every Friday or the dead are going to take over the world. So far, it’s working.

“Look, Holly, I’m sorry about the zombie, okay, I promise it didn’t mean to sneeze part of its brain on you —”

The rustling sounds again, only this time Nico can see that it’s not Holly’s tree, and in fact she is nowhere to be found. Alarmed, he jumps to his feet, shifting so he’s balanced on the balls of his feet, poised to attack. Is Piper’s plan failing? Has someone actually managed to make it all the way over here without getting (gently, probably, although they lost the last game and Piper gets cranky without dessert) maimed?

The rustling sounds for a third time. This time, an armoured someone stumbles out of the underbrush, tripping over their own foot and nearly landing flat on their face.

Nico has his sword at their throat in a millisecond.

“Wo-oah, Morbius. That’s probably my least favourite sword you could stab in me.”

Nico goes bright red. “I have never wanted to stab you more than right this second.”

Will, chest plate skewed to the right, quiver completely empty, and black paint smeared under his eyes, snickers. He puts a finger on the tip of Nico’s sword and pushes it away from his neck.

“The opportunity was right there, babe. I couldn’t not.”

“You really, really could. In fact at all times, you should remember these words of wisdom: shut up.”

“…Damn. Inspiring.”

Nico rolls his eyes, but the effect is somewhat lessened by the smile on his face and the obvious pleasure in his expression. He’s even feeling merciful enough to accept Will’s kiss, although his sword keeps a good amount of distance between them. (Will’s on the blue team, after all. It would be unprofessional to be fraternizing with the enemy.

…Well, too much, anyway.)

“What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the other archers, sitting in trees and causing havoc.”

Will shrugs, grinning lazily. “I quit. This game is senselessly violent and I’m Against It On Principle. I’m a pacifist, you know.”

“Uh huh.” Nico raises an eyebrow. “I assume this doesn’t count you choking Cecil out in a headlock, this morning.”

Will opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He closes it again.

“Cecil is my mortal enemy,” he grudges after a moment. “He doesn’t count.”

“‘Course not. Not like you cried for two hours when he went to visit his mom last weekend or anything.”

“Will you — stop saying I cried. I barely teared up, okay. Barely.”

Nico can’t quite force down the stupid grin that pulls across his face, matching Will’s, nor can he resist grabbing the leather straps of his boyfriend’s armour and hauling him close.

“You better not be here to distract me,” he mumbles, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Will hums, settling his hands on Nico’s hips.

“Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Drama queen.”

“Excuse — I am the least dramatic, I’ll have you know. I’m a pinnacle of solemnity. I am a shining beacon of stoicism. I am — mmfh,” He trails off. “Okay, doing this now, mhm.”

Nico smiles triumphantly into the kiss. Will, he has found, is very easy to shut up, despite his long-running nickname of Motormouth. It’s almost like he has an off button that can be accessed only by Nico sticking his tongue in his mouth. Nico is doing his civic duty, honestly. He should be compensated for his service.

(‘Course, doesn’t hurt that Will smells, like, really good, all the time, and his lips are soft as hell and he is actually quite the kisser, in fact. That is definitely a fun bonus.)

He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders, travelling up the sides of his neck and settling in his hair. Will keens, slightly, when he wraps a finger around a frizzy golden curl and tugs, slightly, when he scratches his nails along his scalp. The rush of power at the feeling makes Nico dizzy, and his sword clatters to the ground as he busies himself with more interesting — and important — things.

Like pulling more of those sounds from his boyfriend’s throat. Or making his knees buckle, again, like he did the other night — gods, that was good, it made Will flush scarlet and Nico feel like he was fuckin’ floating, to have Will so needy and touchy and totally at his mercy —

“Free line to the flag! Go go go go!”

Nico startles, whirling towards the sudden cacophony of noises. To his horror, what looks like half the camp, helmets shining with plumes of blue, comes pouring into the clearing, weapons raised, voices mixing in one long, victorious shout. He lunges for his sword, but before he can grab it, two strong arms tighten around his torso, pinning his hands to his side.

Immediately, he knows he’s been set up.

“Oh, you — fucker!”

He feels the curve of Will’s grin against his neck. “First shower privileges for a whole month, baby.” He noses along his jaw, pressing an apologetic kiss to his cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”

Nico struggles, aghast, watching the once-red flag shimmer in Lou Ellen's hold to a bright, shining blue. “I am breaking up with you, you traitor, you Iago, you vixen — ”

Will snorts. He ducks down and pecks Nico on the lips, again, and again, and then shifts to his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his temples, his forehead, and all over his face, making louder and louder mwah sounds until Nico is laughing, punching his shoulder and shoving him away.

“Okay! Okay. Let me go, you villainous toad. We will discuss how much you’ll have to grovel for my forgiveness after Piper finishes yelling at me for getting distracted.”

Will presses one last kiss to his nose, smiling cheekily before stepping away, heading towards his boasting team. “Enjoy that lecture! Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nico rolls his eyes, resting his aching cheek in his hand. “Love you too, asshole.”

#love this one it’s so fun teehee #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #nico di angelo #will solace #nico di angelo/will solace #nico/will #will/nico #solangelo #established solangelo #fluff #humour #banter #100 ways #100 ways to say i love you #my writing #fic #longpost #making out

[imtryingbuck]

Twenty Five

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 3,014

Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names, smut but no smut – you know?. swearing

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

“…I mean I’m in love with you, I’ve known since I was fourteen”

“I’m in love with you too James”

~~~

After being released from the hospital a few days after waking up the boys all but forced her to live with them until she found somewhere else, somewhere where she felt safe.

Brock had gone to prison for the attack done to Y/n and some other things he had done that had finally caught up to him.

Not that Y/n paid any attention to that.

As the months passed turning into years after that night in the hospital bed where she and Bucky had confessed their love for one another things had changed between them. And not necessarily for the better.

No they became distant despite Y/n living in the same apartment with him. Their conversations were short and curt, whenever one walked into the room the other walked out with a nod.

Nobody knew what happened, nobody understood why the two who had regained their friendship and became joined at the hip like they were when they were younger had now become distant.

Sam walked in the apartment after finishing work sighing deeply when he saw Bucky sat on the couch with some random woman on his lap kissing, her shirt on the floor. “Buck seriously?”

“What?”

“You’ve got a room for that and plus Y/n will be up in second” just as he finished his sentence Y/n walked behind him.

“Sammy move I’m dying for a wee”

At hearing her voice he knocked the girl whose name he had completely had forgotten off his lap, when she cried out Y/n looked around Sam’s body.

“Oh, hi”

The girl looked at Bucky then at Y/n rolling her eyes she picked up her shirt putting it back on “you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend James”

He didn’t answer the girl he just stood there staring at Y/n, her eyes were casted down. He felt guilty for some reason.

“Fuck you James” the girl huffed and stomped out of the apartment making sure she knocked her shoulder into Y/n’s.

“Ow, rude. Sam can you move please, still need a wee”

“Yeah yeah sorry” Waiting until Y/n shut the bathroom door behind her Sam’s eyes not moving away from Bucky.

“I know alright I know I’ve fucked up”

“Ever since she’s been back from her trip you’ve not brought a girl home always going to theirs so why now?”

“I don’t know”

“Bullshit you knew me and her were coming home together” Ever since Y/n had gotten Sam his new job at her workplace Sam was taking them both to work and though Sam always finished a little earlier he always waited for her so they could come home together. “Ever since she came here from the hospital you’ve both been acting strange around each other so what gives?”

“I-I told her I loved her” Bucky admitted quietly.

“That’s great-wait didn’t she say it back?”

“No Sam I told her I was in love with her”

“I got that like I said did she not say it back?”

“She did…”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“I don’t know”

“You two need to sort yourselves out, I’m serious Buck or it’s going to be too late and you’ll lose her for good.”

The thought of losing his Bunny for good terrified him, his father had to pin him down on the ground when Bucky was told that Y/n had left for boarding school. For months he keep begging and begging Howard and Maria to let him see her but each time with fruitless.

He knew in his heart, his soul and mind that he was in love with Y/n more than anything in this world. She was the first thing he thought of when he woke, the last thing on his mind as he fell asleep. Y/n was there for him just as much as he was for her, she helped him more than she ever and would ever know, in ways he could never explain. To him loving Y/n was nothing he ever had to think about to him it was as easy as breathing. Falling in love with his Bunny came so natural to him, when he dated Dot he did love her but it felt forced, unnatural.

Being with Dot and all the unnamed girls after always had Bucky pretending he was something that he wasn’t, his laugh was fake, his smile was forced, he was made to feel stupid whenever he said quotes either from films or books. But with his Y/n his laugh was always real and loud, his smile would be big enough to cause his cheeks to start aching and whenever he said quotes his Y/n always understood them, always there laughing along when he did his impressions and voices. Always there looking at him like he hung the stars in the dark sky as they camped in the backyard. Never once judged him when he cried, matter of a fact she would pull him into her arms and cry with him.

No one knew other than him that late at night he replayed their first encounter, over and over every night without fail. Maybe it was at seven years old Bucky had fell in love with Y/n, as he couldn’t remember or try and pinpoint the exact moment he had fall for his untameable curly haired best friend.

Bucky didn’t think much about marriage or having children and growing old, of course not he was young and good looking – he had other things to worry about such as not calling the girl he had under him the wrong name, he did that once and ended up with a black eye, Carly got him good-wait was it Carla? But whenever he was asked by his grandmother when he was going to get married he always thought ‘Whenever Bunny wants to’ or when his grandmother then would ask when he was going to give her great-grandbabies and once again his thoughts where ‘Whenever Bunny’s ready’.

His thoughts about his future always circled back to Y/n. Married – to Y/n. Having children – Y/n’s the mum. Growing old – right by Y/n’s side. Hell he knew he would be taking his last breath right next to her and there was nothing to change his mind and no one to change the future he had planned for himself.

Bucky had to second guess a lot in his life, but he never needed to second guess his love for Y/n.

Y/n’s voice brought him back to the present as she spoke from the kitchen asking him, Sam and Steve what they wanted for dinner, he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even register Steve coming home from work.

“Bunny go on a date with me on Saturday, please” He blurted out facing his love.

“W-what?”

“Go on a date with me?”

“Me?”

“No my other Bunny, of course you”

“But you literally had a girl on your lap not even thirty minutes ago…”

“I know and that was because I’m a scum bag but baby its always been you that I’ve always wanted, so…date…Saturday?”

Looking at Sam and Steve who both stand there with huge smiles on their faces, the blonde nodding encouragingly she looked back to her Ducky not believing it was really happening, she had been wishing that those words would come out of his mouth, even more since they confessed their love to each other. When he started being distant with her she thought that she heard wrong, that he never actually proclaimed his love for her but she had him and since he didn’t feel the same way he thought it was better to put distance between them both.

But standing in the middle of the kitchen her hand still on the freezer door she didn’t know what to think.

“Bun?”

“Saturday. Okay” she smiled, Bucky released a breath he wasn’t sure how long he had been holding in.

“Saturday” he echo’s.

It was finally Saturday and to say Y/n was nervous was the understatement of the century. Pacing a hole nearly on Sam’s bedroom floor she kept muttering to herself under her breath when a knock came from the door it startled her.

“Sunshine it’s me…Sam, can I come in?”

“Okay”

“Are you naked?”

“Yes and that’s why I said-“

“You’re a liar. You’re not naked.” Sam grumbled then smiling cheekily when Y/n rolls her eyes. “What’s up? And don’t say nothing because me and Steve can hear you stomping around like you’re in a marching band”

“I’m scared…”

“Of what?”

“The date, what if something goes wrong? What if Bucky realises that he doesn’t love me and he leaves me alone? Is he taking me to a restaurant? What do I order? How do I sit? Oh my God I-I-I forgot how to sit!”

Normally Sam loves it when she rambles on but seeing the tears in her eyes he wastes no time in crossing the room and pulling her into his arms.

“Sunny firstly nothing is going to go wrong, I promise you. Buck won’t realise that, babycakes he’s madly in love with you even a blind person can see that and you know for a fact that Buck will never leave you alone. I can’t say where he’s taking you but it’s going to be okay and I assure you that you will love it. And you haven’t forgotten how to sit numpty”

“B-b-but Sammy-“

“No buts Sunny, it’s going to be perfect and you’re going to have a wonderful time and you’ll come back here and tell me all about it, okay”

“Okay”

“Now show me what you’re going to be wearing, come on Sunshine don’t leave me hanging”

Pointing at his bed Sam sees the outfit. A black vest top, a nice black flowy skirt that he knew had a split down the side of the right side. The cardigan was long and dark green, flower patterns on the sleeves.

“I-I was thinking about wearing my dark green doc martens?”

“It sounds perfect, go and get changed before Buck comes back” Sam shoos her off into the bathroom.

Just less than ten minutes later Y/n re-enters the bedroom feeling slightly less nervous for her date. Sam whistled, spinning his finger around in the air signalling for her to spin around for him.

“Beautiful”

“Do you really think I look okay?”

“Yes”

“Should I leave my hair down or should I put it up?”

“Down. Oh and wear that cute little butterfly necklace”

“Okay” taking said necklace out of the jewellery box “Can you-“

“I got you Sunshine.”

“Thank you”

“Buck’s back by the way”

Nodding and spraying herself with her perfume one more time, Sam stands by the door with his arm held out so she could hold onto. Stepping over the threshold and walking down the corridor to where Bucky was waiting patiently.

It’s just Ducky. It’s just Ducky. It’s just Ducky.

She repeated in her head over and over as she watched him look up at her, the way his jaw dropped as his eyes raked up and down her figure but the silence was having her nerves skyrocketing.

“Buck” Steve whispered nudging his best friends’ shoulder when he noticed Y/n starting to twist her a strand of her hair, a thing she did when she was nervous.

“B-Bunny…your stunning”

“You think so?”

“I know so. God you are so beautiful”

Steve and Sam managed to get both of them out of the apartment after Steve sternly tells Bucky to have ‘his little princess back before midnight’ and Sam telling the blonde to cut them some slack, winking at Y/n who just rolls her eyes at the pair. Bucky leads her downstairs and helps her into the car.

The way he fidgeted in his seat was a dead giveaway that he was nervous just like she was.

“So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see as soon as you see it-I just hope you like it”

“Of course I’d like it Ducky”

Smiling bashfully he takes her hand in his and brought her hand to his lips, placing a delicate kiss among her knuckles all while his eyes concentrated on the road ahead of him.

The familiar street before her had her wondering where on earth he was taking her.

“Bun, close your eyes for me and keep them closed until I say it’s okay to open them, okay?”

“I’m nervous now” she laughs but complies with his instructions.

The car comes to a stop she hears him getting out of the car, keeping her eyes closed she flinches when the passenger door opens and Bucky leans over to unbuckle her seatbelt. He notices the movement and kisses her temple whispering “It’s okay”. Helping her out of the car he places his hand in hers and starts to guide her along the pathway.

“Duck...”

“I’m right here Bun. I’ve got you my love”

A few minutes later Bucky brings them both to a stop and moves to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and leaning his head on her shoulder. “You can now open your eyes Bun”

Doing so her eyes adjusting to the sight in front of her. She knew instantly where she was.

The large pond sat undisturbed in the middle of the woodland area she spent many days of her childhood exploring, her safe haven, her happy place.

Just to the right and a five minute walk stood the tree she first met her Ducky.

However it was different now thanks to Bucky, in between two trees hung fairy lights casting a beautiful glow in the darkening sky. On the ground was a large blanket with a picnic basket sat on top.

So simple. But so beautiful.

“Buck…”

“If you don’t like it I can book a tab-“ he started – scared of her reaction, more like lack of one.

“It’s perfect”

Guiding her over to the blanket he helped her sit. The food was eaten pretty quickly. They both unknown to each other felt silly for ever being nervous for their first date.

“It’s just Bunny”

“It’s just Ducky”

They told themselves. Though they did have to admit that this was different now, they were on a proper date and not like their friendship dates they always went on. This was a huge step for them.

“How did you get the lights up there?” Y/n asked as she leaned against Bucky.

“With my father and Steve's help, it was a lot harder than we expected”

“Well I appreciate what you three went through to do it”

“Anything for you Bunny, you know this”

Sitting up and looking at him her breath hitched when she saw that his blue eyes that seemed to shine under the bright fairy lights were already on her.

“Bun, when I told you that I’m in love with you I wasn’t lying. I can’t begin to explain why I started to be a dick towards you afterwards as I don’t even know myself, I’m sorry”

“I wasn’t lying either, honestly it’s always been you Buck. And none of that matters no more, just promise me you won’t do it again as I hate not talking to you”

“I promise”

The way his eyes kept darting from hers to her lips had her licking them nervously and before she could process the words in her mind they were spilling out.

“Kiss me Ducky”

“Are you sure?”

“More than anything”

Ever so slowly he moved closer towards her and even more gently he takes her face in his hands and places his lips against hers. Both sighing contently as the tingly sensation tickles their lips.

The kiss grew more heated as their tongues danced together, hands reaching and touching each part of each others bodies. A small squeal of surprise left her mouth when Bucky knocked her onto her back and climbed on top of her, his lips never leaving hers even when she pulled back needing air his kissed-swollen lips never left her skin.

“You are the most prettiest thing I have ever laid my eyes on” he stated, she heard no indication of a lie not like she would have because to him it was the truth. There was nothing in this world that would have him changing his mind.

“I’m…” Y/n started to say but trailed off, hoping that he would catch on to what not only was she trying to say but to hint also.

“Your what Bun?”

“You know…”

“I don’t I’m afraid”

“I still have my flower” she says hoping that would make him understand but all she got was him raising his eyebrow in confusion. “I’m a virgin” she blurted out, cheeks and neck flushing bright red with embarrassment.

“Oh. That’s okay-hey look at me Bunny- it is okay, there isn’t any need to rush it”

“But I want to-with you I mean-now-well that is if you’re okay with that”

“Bun-“

“Never mind it was silly-.”

“Baby I want to, God knows I do but-but what if you regret it?”

“I won’t”

Kissing her once, twice, thrice he nods and starts to lift up. “W-where are you going?” she asks, panicking that she’s overstepped and overthought this whole date.

“Taking you home so we can make love”

“No, here. Please Ducky”

“Here? Are you sure my love?”

“Yes Ducky”

He leans back over her and kisses her passionately and feverishly. His hands and lips explored every crevice of her body. Explored the one place nobody had done before him.

“Are you sure Bunny? We can stop if you want” he asked before taking her flower.

“Ducky please, you’re the one, please”

“You’re the one for me too baby. I promise to go slow, tell me to stop if it gets too much and I will, okay”

“Okay”

Underneath the fairy lights and the stars that shined brightly in the dark sky, the cold air sweeping past the two, as they made love.

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Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barns x y/n #Through The Years #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes series #James Barnes #Bucky Barnes angst #bucky series #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes fluff #James Barnes fluff #james barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes friends to lovers

[oomisluvr]

(new!) domestic sakusa strikes again!

a/n: im so in love with the idea of kiyoomi meeting ur friends!! and them all getting along!! a short drabble, roughly 600 words. this takes place in the early stages of the relationship :')

An apartment full of five drunk girls is much louder than what Kiyoomi expected, but at least he knows he’s got the right address.

Three raps on the door activate a chorus of shrieks, and a flurry of footsteps rush for the door.

It swings open with a loud smack.

It’s your friend, the one from college with the dyed hair and smiley piercing. Kiyoomi rushes to introduce himself as your boyfriend, bowing lowly as a sign of respect to one of your closest friends. He recognises her from the pictures on your Instagram.

On the way up, he realizes she left, having opened the door and ran off to do god knows what. He blinks.

Should he… come in? Is that allowed? He’s still bent at a 45 degree angle. 

He figures it’s fine, and steps inside.

Rounding the corner, he almost laughs when he sees you, crisscrossed on the living room rug, scarfing down a large McDonald’s fry like it’s your first meal in months. He sees where your friend ran off to, having joined the rest of you all in a gossiping ring. He pretends like he can’t see up your mini skirt. 

“Hi.” He grins, boyish and cute and a little bit shy. His hair is still damp from his nightly shower, wet curls bouncing in his face making him look a few years younger. He clears his throat and waves awkwardly, “I’m Kiyoomi. It’s nice to meet you all. Thank you for taking care of–”

“Ki!” You cheer, eyes lit up in excitement. You pat the spot next to you with three heavy smacks, “What are you doing here? Come sit!” 

Looking to your friend for permission to further enter her home, he kicks off his shoes and settles next to you on the rug. He kisses your forehead in greeting. You feed him a fry as thanks. Your friends coo at the interaction.

“I’m here to take you home.” He wipes a glob of ketchup from your chin. You’re gonna hear all about this tomorrow. “Ready to go?”

“Can’t I finish my food first?” You haven’t been able to stop giggling since he got here. You’re genuinely so fucking happy to see him. His Naruto themed socks make you giggle harder.

“Of course.” He confirms, adjusting the throw blanket to cover your toes, “Tell me about your night.”

“Oh my god!” Your other friend squeals, smacking the arm of the girl to her left. She’s the one that works in accounting, he thinks. You two get brunch every other Sunday, if he’s remembering correctly. “Tell him about the fucking bartender!”

All five of you double over in laughter, screaming half-finished sentences and pointing fingers at one another. Kiyoomi shakes his head in amusement, does he even want to know?

You all continue trading off stories and perspectives, and Kiyoomi feels like he’s watching a reality television show. Your nights out are much more exciting than his. At one point your friend complains about the low water pressure in her kitchen sink, to which Kiyoomi helpfully offers to replace it.

Kiyoomi’s never felt more important, giving a mini-lesson on how to change a water filter to five drunk girls. You all cheer when he flicks the tap on, the full pressure having been returned to the faucet. 

When all’s said and done, you help clean up the food containers and blankets.

“Thank you,” you whisper, fluffing a couch pillow, “For helping her. You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem,” He whispers back, looking around, “Will they be okay by themselves?”

“Oh yeah,” You confirm, “We do this all the time. I’ll probably be back tomorrow morning so we can all get breakfast together.”

He hums in confirmation, “Ready to go then?”

“Yes.” You smile deviously, “But only if you carry me.”

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, scooping up the heels you had tossed on the floor, “Fine. Only if I get to come to breakfast, too.”

kiyoomi is one of the girlies 💅💅💅

#sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi #sakusa #msby sakusa #haikyuu #msby #domestic sakusa #domestic.sakusa

[cod-dump]

Time (another monster au fic)

———

Price hadn’t foreseen ‘non-human handler’ in his future. Two vampires, an insectoid, whatever the hell Nik was (a lycan of some kind?), and a demon? Definitely wasn’t how he thought his days would go. He especially didn’t plan on sort of adopting the vampires both being older than his grandparents. Well, Soap was. Gaz was much younger than that but still older than Price.

But, their youthful appearances have most certainly made him feel like they needed guidance even though they had far more life experience. Well, Gaz seemed to return the familial connection, at least. He would often come join Price in his office just sit and talk. It was nice having that connection since Price wasn’t in contact with any of his family, distant relatives or close family members.

“Cap… I have a question,” it wasn’t often when Gaz wanted to ask Price something.

He was smart, had seen more things than Price. He was also the type to try to figure things out on his own before asking questions (thankfully he doesn’t do this on the clock).

“Question? About what?”

“Well… Ghost.”

Price felt his heart beat quicken, he knew where this was going, “What about him?”

“Why is he here? He’s a demon, they don’t do this kind of thing. Especially not on their own free will.”

He could hear what Gaz was wanting to say. The thing he hasn’t about to actually say out loud, the thing this was all about. Laswell had the worst reaction when she had found out. Tears, yelling— The works. Nik was much calmer in appearance but Price could tell he was devastated.

Price knew the risks, he knew what he was getting himself into. It was his soul after all, he could do what he pleased with it.

“I… contracted him. He’s a mercenary, after all. He works for me, and when the job’s done he gets his payment… then he’s gone. That simple.”

Gaz’s jaw as clenched, a pain in his eyes that just pierced Price’s soul, “That’s a funny fucking way to call selling you soul to him.”

Price had years to accept it. He’s the one who summoned the Ghost to this plane, the one who offered Simon Riley’s corpse for him to root him here so he had a physical form. Price gave him rank, this human mask that he could wear. Whether he kept it when everything was said and done is uncertain. Price had feeling he could make a hell of a business off of it.

“I had my time to accept it, I don’t expect you to get it.”

Gaz couldn’t look at him, choosing to stare at the wall instead. The angle allowed Price to see the light glint off his eyes, giving away his inhuman nature. Gaz was much more emotional than other vampires. He remembers being human, he cares about humanity. He was stealing blood bags almost his whole vampiric existence before Price found him and recruited him.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, Kyle. When I’m gone Nik will be taking you and Soap with him to Chimera. Kate will make you two disappear and can go on to Russia.”

“That’s supposed to be comforting?”

“Russia does have the highest population of any non-humans in the world. Plus Chimera is nothing but non-humans.”

“Fucking- I don’t care about finding somewhere safe!” Gaz stood quickly, knocking his chair back, “You fucking sold your soul to a demon! You have a timer on your life!”

Price watches Gaz wave his arms around, tears pricking in his eyes, “You’re dying!”

Price sighs. He had accepted this himself, he knows his fate. Unless the demon themself decides to break the contract, spare the human who made it with them… Price’s fate is sealed. There has been some recorded incidents where demons completed the contract only to just leave, not taking their client’s soul. It is possible to survive, but making a demon genuinely like you to the point they let you keep your soul is near impossible.

Ghost was going to kill him in the end. Eat his soul in probably the most painful way possible before fucking off to do whatever.

“Kyle…”

“How can you be so fucking calm? Did you even consider how anyone else would feel!?”

“I made that deal a long time ago. Before I had anyone in my life worth living for. I do not regret sacrificing my life for the greater good.”

Gaz was shaking, now quiet. Price swallows before standing, going around to the vampire and pulling him into a hug. Gaz almost instantly clung to him, a quiet sob in his chest.

“I don’t want you to die…”

“I’m sorry, Kyle. I can’t change anything.”

“There has to be another way.”

“Heh, you know trying to cheat a demon out of a soul is dangerous. You know how dangerous Ghost is.”

Gaz pulls away, wiping his face, “Fuck… Yea, I do…”

Price felt dread in his chest. The first time in years he had to truly acknowledge what he had done. He felt like this after he told Laswell, after Nik, and now Gaz. Their emotions reminded him how deeply upsetting this was. But Price couldn’t take it back. He wouldn’t if it meant he would still be able to do it. Save this world from it’s own self-destruction… all at the cost of a single soul. What he’s doing wouldn’t be permanent, the rot would always crawl back. but at least his soul would buy everyone some time.

#another monster au #call of duty #cod mwii #modern warfare ii #john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #drabble #ficlet

[thewulf]

Big Blue World || Joel Miller

Request: Can you do a Joel Miller x Franks Younger sister reader?? I haven't seen any fics with her. Maybe she's a bright ray of sunshine to Joel's grumpiness?... Read rest here

A/N: Wasn't planning on posting this first but inspiration struck and you've gotta take it! Hope you guys enjoy.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Word Count: 9.4k+ (Another long one!)

TW: Talk of suicide, general TLOU warnings

One – Seven Years Post Outbreak: The Dinner

The first time you laid eyes on him was only a few years after you and Frank moved in with Bill. It was simple really. Both you and Frank fell into Bill’s trap ditch. You managed to break your ankle on the fall down. Panicked and sure death was in your immanent future you burst out into tears. You weren’t made for this kind of life. This impossibly hard life. You, Frank, and a group of nine others were venturing to the Boston QZ after your home was demolished. You’d been walking for what felt like months, you could really never be too sure.

It didn’t make sense how you of all people were one of the last surviving in the group. Often getting by with just the skin of your teeth your only saving grace being that you were quick. You could run for your life. That, and you had Frank. He was eight years older and the best big brother you could have ever dreamed of. Even pre-outbreak the two of you were thick as thieves plotting to take over the world. He saved your life more times than you could count. You hated it. Being weak and shit. You wanted to be better for Frank. You had to survive with him. He couldn’t do it alone either.

So, when you fell into Bill’s hole and screeched you were just thankful whatever it was would take you both out. Neither having to live in this sick world alone. To your pleasant surprise Bill not only let you stay but he knew how to fix your ankle properly, without having pain in the future. You were sure Bill and Frank fell in love that first night. You didn’t know how that all that worked but you were so happy that your brother found his happiness, his purpose.

Life slowly turned back to a weird fucked up new normal for the three of you. Bill and Frank fell madly in love with each other within a few months. They never excluded you though, making you feel as though you were meant to be here with them. You found it easy to pretend you were back in life pre-outbreak. Finding hobbies around town you got really into knitting and gardening. You just wanted to be seen as useful to Bill. He was kind enough to let you stay so you wanted, needed, to bring something to the table.

You were interrupted from your solace hearing the men arguing at the front of the house. So much for weeding. Being far too curious for your own good you listened in on the two of them as they bickered.

“Oh, fuck you!” Frank yelled rather dramatically.

“Hey! Would you stop?” You knew Bill was rolling his eyes at your brother’s antics. Whatever the hell he could be up to now.

“Do I ask for things ever? Why am I even saying that? This is for me. This is for the three of us!” Your brother yelled. You inched closer dying to know what this blow out was about. The two men could be so damn dramatic when they wanted to be.

“Who cares what they look like?” Bill continued. What the fuck were they on about? You could only wonder as you sat behind the tree near the front listening in.

“I do! Our home isn’t just our house. It’s everything around us!” Frank yelled again throwing his arms up in the air. Oh, he was on the beautification subject again. Frank wanted everything pretty, but Bill never let him. Resource management was key.

“Give me a fuckin’ break.” Bill returned your over dramatic brothers cries. Oops. You knew that was a mistake. Bill always tried to argue but Frank always won.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. I live in this world. You live in a psycho bunker where 9/11 was an inside job, and the government are all Nazi’s.” Your older brother seemed to calm down even though you knew he was downright mocking Bill.

“The government are all Nazi’s!” He boomed. You couldn’t help but to let out a silent laugh. You agreed with him of course. Frank just knew how to push his buttons.

“Well, yeah, now! But not then!” Frank defended, “I am asking for some paint and some gasoline for the lawn mower. That’s all. I’ll do everything else myself.”

“It is not man-“

Frank interrupted him clearly agitated. You were getting a full-on show now. You hated to admit it, but you loved when they had blow outs. It was your entertainment for the day, “If you say resource management so help me, I will run through one of your trip wires.”

“Okay, okay. Just tell me why.” Bill seemed to reason. Boo. You knew as soon as it calmed down the show was over. It was fun while it lasted. Standing slowly you were going to make your way back to the garden only to hear Frank continue.

“Paying attention to things. It’s how we show love.” You listened in again. What the hell was he talking about now? It sounded like bullshit, “This is my street too. Just let me love it the way I want to. And I’m fixing up some of the shops.”

Ohh, it just got juicy again.

“Woah, woah, woah.”

Frank rolled his eyes, “Not the stupid ones. Just the wine shop, and the furniture store. And the clothing boutique.”

“The boutique? Are we hosting formal garden patties now?”

“No!” Frank couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at the man. That was so like him, “But we are going to have friends.”

“Excuse me.”

“We’re going to make friends and we will invite them to visit.” Oh, hell yeah, this was getting good now. You could use some friends anyway. You prayed Frank won this battle with Bill.

“We don’t have friends Frank. We will never have friends. Because there are no friends to be had. Other than Y/N.” You grinned hearing that last bit thrown in. You loved that he always made sure to include you. You grew on him that’s for sure.

“Well, I’ve actually been talking to a nice woman on the radio.”

“You what?!” He screamed. Oh hell, Frank was in trouble now and he knew it. You watched as he darted to the front door ignoring Bill.

Bill turned right to you shaking his head. Busted, “I know you heard that whole thing. You’re not sneaky.”

You shrugged, “Who said I was trying to be?”

“You and your brother are going to fucking kill me.” He groaned making his way in to talk to Frank.

You only smiled as he departed. Bill had also grown on you.

Next thing you knew you were meeting the nice woman named Tess and her friend Joel. You couldn’t but to take your eyes off the man. He wasn’t like anything you’ve come across in Baltimore and now here. He was so freaking handsome. You hadn’t a clue how to handle it. It’d been years since you talked to another human let alone a beautiful man.

At dinner you made sure to look at anything but him, keeping your eyes locked on either Tess or Frank. Luckily Bill was his usual grumpy self after losing to Frank and kept his gun out and trained on the two strangers. You were so thankful he kept their attention instead of you.

“Can you not, please?” Frank sighed looking over to his boyfriend. You bit you lip trying to stifle the smile that threatening to spill over. They were always bickering. Like an old married couple. They couldn’t even hold it together in front of the guests.

“I’m the same way.” You heard Joel speak for the first time. He seemed to let Tess take the lead most of the time. Thankful you weren’t standing. You were sure your knees would be wobbly. He had that smooth southern drawl with a thick husky bite that’d draw just about anybody in. Fuck. You couldn’t have possibly been this horny to be thinking such things of a literal stranger. You had to reign yourself in quick.

“Oh, you’re a paranoid schizophrenic too?” Frank quickly chided in. You only leaned back rolling your eyes earning a quick glance from the handsome stranger.

“I’m not schizophrenic.” Bill sat there looking between everyone. That killed the whole mood. Great, just wonderful. The first real people you meet, and you’ve all ruined the chances of them coming back already.

Tess cleared her throat interrupting the silence, “Well, can I just say, gun aside, which I get,” She laughed but continued, “how nice this is to have a civilized meal in such a beautiful place? It’s been so long. I mean, I just, uh, I wanna thank you. Even if we don’t end up working together. I really needed this.”

“We are working together.” Frank cheers confidently. You only leaned forward smiling, “We are.” He looked at Bill who only looked horrifically apprehensive about this whole situation. Frank was pushing him beyond his limits.

Before you knew it Frank and Tess were walking inside giddily talking about something they chatted about on the radio. Leaving only you, Bill, and Joel alone. Great, the three mutes. You leaned back waiting. It wasn’t your place. This was for the big dogs, and you certainly weren’t one of them.

“If my uh, if mine brought strangers into our situation I wouldn’t be too happy either. But of all the people you could’ve found on the radio we’re actually decent people.” You leaned back further letting your mind wander as the two of them talked. You only prayed Bill wouldn’t drive him away completely.

You sighed as they left. Bill drove them out. You stayed a couple of feet behind and watched the two conversations unfold. You gave Tess a wave and smile before she was out. Joel didn’t bother turning around as he waved the group off. Leaving you with only a small frown. They’d be back soon enough. You were sure of it.

Two – Eleven Years Post Outbreak: The Supply Run

That familiar voice that you hadn’t heard in so long came from downstairs. Quickly, you ran down the steps to greet the now acquaintance that you wished would show up more often than he did.

“Joel! Tess!” You jumped down the last step only to be greeted with Joel and Bill, “Wait where’s Tess?” Fear ran through you. Did she get infected? Was she gone already? She was Frank’s only friend outside of here.

“Frank just took her to the boutique.” Bill grumbled sitting down in the chair at the dining table.

You let out the breath you were holding, “Good!” You clapped thankful that the worst hadn’t come over your somewhat friend. If you could use that word, “Maybe she’ll pick out some of the clothes I made.” You grinned knowing you just stocked the store up with your latest sweaters and hats. What else were you supposed to do with your time other than make way too much clothing that the three of you would never go through?

“You make clothes?” Joel asked seemingly interested in the conversation.

You beamed just happy he noticed you. He hardly noticed you before, only briefly talking to you each time they had come back. It seemed they stopped about once a year. Tess always giving Frank a heads up on the radio before the made the trek up north.

You wished you could get Joel to see you. But you were just Frank’s little naïve sister. That’s all you ever seemed to be. Not that you blamed him, he was right after all. You really were just Frank’s naïve little sister having way too much optimism for this cold world.

 You craved any attention Joel gave you. From the second you laid eyes onto him four years prior and every brief interaction each year since you were entranced by him. He was so strong and composed. Something so opposite of you. Someone so sure of himself every time he came around. And Jesus, look at the man. He was so damn attractive it nearly drove you mad. He only seemed to get more handsome each time he and Tess walked through those gates. You thought about him far too often. Far too often for somebody who saw you as Franks little sister.

“I did and do! There should be some that fit you if you want some yourself?” You gave him a hopeful smile. Maybe he’d accept?

Joel looked somewhat impressed? You couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a look you’ve seen from him before, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” You grinned, daring to take a step closer, “Bill’s even modeling my latest collection. Classic springtime.” You waited patiently for him to decide. You weren’t sure how to handle yourself if he decided to come with you. You’d literally dreamed of alone time with Joel and here was a chance at it… you didn’t think you were ready.

Bill huffed turning away. Because of course he did. Earning a brilliant scowl from you. Truth be told he held a lot of love for you in his heart too. Your constant reassurance and optimism grew on him over time, not that he’d ever dream of telling you. He wasn’t mushy. He could hardly handle you in your sober state. In your emotional one? He’d for sure go mad.

As if by a miracle Frank and Tess came barging in giggling about who knows what. Saving you from a too awkward encounter with both grumpy men. You couldn’t help but to smile at the Tess and Frank. They would have been friends’ pre-outbreak too. You could just tell. Two souls that connected so effortlessly.

 Joel noticed you watching them. He always noticed. He was always watching you when you weren’t watching him. He couldn’t help it. He was drawn to you, and he was really God damn tired of fighting it. Every time he came, he hoped he wouldn’t run into you. He wanted to but for his sanity’s sake he couldn’t run into you. But you always showed up. With that damn brilliant smile and cheerful greetings. Making him feel way too special. He craved it. He loved it.

“Y/N!” Tess came rushing over to you placing both hands on either of your shoulders, “You made these? These are actually good. They have designs in them and shit. I didn’t really believe Frank when he said you were good at it, but he was right. I’m impressed.”

You shrugged, “Well, when you have all the time in the world.”

That earned a chuckle out of the woman. She seemed so happy and relaxed here. A side Joel rarely saw. A side that was seemingly reserved for you and Frank. It made sense though, both of you were infectious. Both Joel and Tess let their usual stoic guard down around you both.

“Joel. Go now. Y/N will show you.” She ordered. So sure of herself. Something you so deeply admired about the slightly older woman. She lived that life. The rugged one. Yours was so damn peaceful compared to hers. A country club compared to the life she lived.

You nodded towards the door, “Come on, I’ll show you.” Not daring to betray Tess’s orders you nodded for him to hurry up.

He nodded. His mind was made up for him by Tess, “Alright. Lead the way.” He tried to look grumpy. He didn’t know how it was actually paying off though. Because he was way too damn excited to finally be alone with you.

You held the door open waiting for him to join you outside. You led the way a couple of steps in front of him. Tired of the silent walk you had to say something, “How’ve you been holding up Joel?”

He sped up a couple of steps taking that as an invitation to walk beside you. He had no God damn idea of how to act around you. He had a stupid big fat crush on you that Tess, and now Frank, knew about. He was sure that’s why she sent the two of you alone.

It happened slowly for Joel. Initially, he really only did see you as Frank’s little sister. You didn’t do much for him. But over time, over the shortest of visits he slowly started to look forward to seeing you bright shining face. You always greeted him with the happiest of smiles. Like it was the pre-outbreak world, like nothing was wrong. Tess picked up on it over time when he bugged her to visit with supplies. Claiming he needed to see Bill but always brining you up somehow.

Joel knew it was dangerous. Falling for someone in a world like this. Someone like you. You were just too pure for this world. He couldn’t see you outside of these chain link fences. He didn’t want to imagine you trying to survive out there. You didn’t deserve it. You deserved so much more.

“I’m okay. We’re okay. Getting by just fine. Couple supply runs here and there.” His accent came out strong the longer he was away from the QZ. The longer he was able to relax the thicker it came out.

“Good.” You nodded. You too had no idea how to talk to him. Coming from such separate worlds it was like your brain couldn’t fetch the words to converse with him. Which was really bad for you.

“And you?” He offered. He was trying. Something you hadn’t seen from the gruff man. You turned looking at his face as the setting sun seemed to hit all his angles just right. Eyes tracing every feature you soaked everything about him in.

“I’m decent.” You sighed knowing that was a terrible answer. So, you did what you did best and just started talking, “Been busy knitting a store up. Trying some new techniques in the garden I read from a 2001 Farmers Almanac. I think it’s working too. I’ve got a ton of cucumbers. I’ve gotta pickle them or they’ll go bad. Unless you guys want some?” You offered knowing you needed to stop before you babbled far too much. It was either way too much talking or stone-cold silence when it came with you and awkward conversations. And this was incredibly awkward.

He was giving you a different look. A much softer one. One that’s as if he’s seen you for the first time, “We’ll take some. But you’ve gotta pickle the rest. We’ll be back and then I’ll take some pickles. Deal?”

You giggled feeling your cheeks heat up as he kept his eyes locked with yours. You watched as you saw his eyes turn up slightly as small smile formed on his face. You had a feeling this was a very rare occurrence for Joel. Not often finding that smile. And you were right. It was terribly foreign to Joel, but you brought it out. Somehow, some way he felt a little lighter when you were there.

“Deal! We’ll have way too much for us anyway. The garden is getting a bit out of hand, but it keeps me busy.” You stopped pointing towards the building, “Here we are.”

He held his hand out, “Ladies first.”

“Course.” You smiled leading him in, “There should be some stuff over there that you might like. I’ve got some extra stuff in the back if you don’t like any of it.”

He nodded letting himself go and search. You sat back on the countertop that used to contain the cash register.

“You really made these?” You heard him before you saw him.

“The ones without the tags yeah!” You brought your legs up and sat with them crossed beneath you. Simply waiting on him to grab whatever he needed.

Before you knew it, he walked up to you holding a few sweaters and shirts, “Is it alright if I take these?”

You nodded, “Sure. I’ve got plenty more. It only takes a few hours to make these now. I’m afraid I’m going to run out of yarn.”

“I can get you some.” He replied without a hesitation.

“Yeah?”

“Sure. Consider it a trade. Next time I see you I’ll have some. What colors you want?”

You smiled a bright smile to him. You’ve grown so fond over the four years you’ve known each other. But it felt like you’d suddenly broke through to him. Whatever it was you were so thankful. This was a Joel you didn’t know. A Joel you could surely get used to. Even if you only saw him every year or so.

“Pinks and purples. I ran out of those so quick. Didn’t know how much I liked them.”

He nodded, “Pink and purple yarn coming right up.”

“Thank you, Joel.”

He shrugged, “Consider it a trade.”

Three – Fifteen Years Post Outbreak: The Seed Trade

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Looking around to make sure Bill wasn’t going to pop up.

Frank shrugged, “He’s got so many fucking guns he won’t notice a measly 9mm missing.”

You sighed feeling that anxiety rising in your chest, “Fine. Who’s coming for this trade?”

“Joel.”

“Joel?” You sounded surprised. It had only been six months or so since you’d seen him last. Not that you were complaining in the slightest. You’d always welcome him back.

“And Tess.” He smirked, “But I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You giggled knowing he was teasing about your crush on Joel.

“They say after six months of crushing on someone it’s love. It’s been what? Eight fucking years of the two of you flirting like mad when he comes around. I think it’s past love at this point.”

“What of it Frank? It’s not like he’s moving in here. It’s not like I’m moving to the Boston QZ.” Rolling your eyes, you leaned onto the chain link fence.

Franked rolled his eyes right back at you, “Why couldn’t he move here?”

“Uhm, because he has his own life with Tess?”

He shrugged, “You know people moved for far less in the pre-outbreak days.”

“Well, we aren’t living in those days, are we? We’re living in fucking reality Frank. He has a life. I have mine.”

“You haven’t even asked.”

“It’s not my place to.” You admitted. Sure, you’d thought of it, but it wasn’t your place to in the slightest. This was Bill’s place after all. The two of you so immersed in the debate back and forth neither of you heard the pair coming up on you both. It wasn’t even like they were being that silent.

“What were you guys talking about?” Tess asked popping out of thin air. Joel stood behind her smirking at the heated conversation between the two siblings. He and Tommy bearing a striking resemblance to the bickering siblings.

“Nothing!” You turned smiling at the pair you’ve grown to love over the years.

“Joel!” Frank said right after you. You turned towards your sibling eyeing him up and down. The nerve on him beyond you at this point. Frank was really just tired of waiting to see you two together. He knew there was nothing going on between Joel and Tess, like you were worried about, but he also knew Joel was apprehensive. As were you.

“And Tess!” You turned towards the two of them again, “Good to see you both so soon.” You smiled brightly towards Joel. Your best smile reserved for your favorite man. That certainly didn’t help your case with Frank though.

“I got you some more colors.” He handed you a duffel bag stuffed full, “Red, purple and blue this time.”

“You’re spoiling me, Joel Miller.” You cheered happily accepting the gift. Tess and Frank could only step back and watch the innocent interaction. For the life of her Tess couldn’t understand how soft Joel got with you. Only with you. Frank too marveled at your nerves with the man. Your usual confident self only seemed to waver in his presence.

“Or” You turned back towards him with wide eyes. Getting ready to tease him, “Is it because you know I’ll make you nice clothing?” You continued on, welcoming the harmless flirting that always seemed to arise between the two of you.

“You caught on quick.” He threw you a rare wink.

You giggled softly, acutely aware of the audience intently listening in behind you, “You’re lucky I adore you both. I’m more than happy. Any requests?” It really was your favorite. Gift giving was your love language to others. It just made you so warm and fuzzy inside to see everybody’s reactions to getting something they love.

Tess coughed, not caring that she was interrupting the moment. She needed some items and if you were offering, she would be taking. She missed the harsh glare from Frank though, “I really could use some new socks.”

You turned towards your friends, “You got it. Stick around long enough today and I go grab you a few pairs?”

She nodded her head quickly, “I honestly could really use them. You mind Joel?”

“As long as Bill doesn’t.”

Frank shook his head quickly, “Not at all! We’ll make sure to have dinner ready for everybody.”

“We wouldn’t want to impose…” Joel began before you bucked up the courage and interrupted him. You wanted him to stay.

“You wouldn’t be at all. Bill and Frank love cooking. Enjoy it.”

Joel nodded folding into your assurance quickly. That’s all he really needed to hear before he agreed to staying.

“Thank God.” Tess grumbled, “I could use some good food too. Joel, we gotta get out here more often.” Tess notes.

“I agree!” You nodded trying not to be too gleeful about the innocent proposition.

“Yes please.” Frank nods. He adores hosting and wants people to come around more often. Especially if those people include Joel. He so desperately wanted to see you happy with him. Even if it meant losing you to the Boston QZ. He knew you’d visit.

Joel let out a rare laugh seeing the group so happy. So fucking carefree. So, unlike the norm. God, he missed the old days. How simple that life really was, “I’m not stopping anyone.”

Tess smiled, “It’s settled then. We’re coming for you more often.”

Your face lit up at the confirmation, “Good. Well come on then.” You flashed your smile towards Joel, “You know where everything is, get comfy.” Beckoning them to come in with your hand you turned back towards Tess, “What color this time? I’ll even make you blue ones if you want!” Your cheeks began hurting from the grin that wouldn’t fall from your face. It warmed your heart that Joel always brought you more yarn, always. Even five years after that conversation with him, he never failed to bring you some.

She shook her head, “Just use some scrap yarn or something, nothing special.”

“You deserve to have a color you want Tess. Something that makes you happy. Plus you know I have a pair in every color ready to go.” Your eyes softened as you really looker her over now. The last five years not being kind on her, on anyone really. Her initial soft features began hardening over time. Wrinkles formed where her scowl always was. The world wasn’t kind to you. But the world was downright cruel to Tess and Joel.

“Anything is fine really…”

You stopped immediately not satisfied with her answer. Joel almost ran you over as he was paying attention too closely to the conversation and not what you were doing, “Well, what’s your favorite color?”

She laughed, “That’s something I haven’t thought of in a while.”

Giving her a sad look these conversations never failed to pull at your heartstrings. You all were unfortunately born into a world that would simply never exist anymore. A world that was thriving. A world that was so fucking foreign it hurt. You were almost jealous of the humans being born in the post-outbreak world. They would never know the luxury of living that old life. This was all they knew. This was their normal. This September will mark the fifteenth year that you were living this new normal. This insanely fucked up normal.

“Mine was pink. But it just doesn’t seem as happy anymore.” You admitted, “I think my new favorite is blue. Sky blue. That’s happiness to me.” You shot her a small smile.

“Why’s that?” She asked as the group started their short walk back to Bill’s house.

You shrugged hoping what you were admit didn’t make you look too soft, “When I get tired of gardening I like to lay down and just look up. Watch the clouds like I did when I was a little kid. Find figures in the clouds. The sky never changes. There’s just something so cathartic about it.”

You didn’t see it because he was walking behind you but a ghost of a smile crossed Joel’s lips. He couldn’t help it. He was so fucking drawn into everything about you. So gentle in a world that wanted to rip you apart at any moment. He, of course, made a note of it. He needed to find sky blue yarn. It wouldn’t be easy now. It started getting difficult to find untouched yarn in the QZ. It was even harder finding it outside. But it never bothered him. The smile alone on your face when he handed you a bag full of yarn was worth all the trouble to get it.

Tess nodded, “I think mines green. Grass green. Tree green.”

“And why’s that?” You asked her the same question, curious as to what she came up with.

“Green means the weather gets better. It just makes life easier.” She let out a small sigh of frustration. A growing frustration of trying to stay alive. It wears down on you far too quickly.

Again, another wave of sadness rushed through your heart. Why were you, of all people in the world, given the chance to live this somewhat normal life in the middle of nowhere? Why wasn’t Joel given the chance? Tess? The longer you lived here relatively unstressed the more guilty you felt through it all. Especially seeing just how much the real world had aged the pair.

“Then green it is. I have a really nice forest green pair I think you’ll like. Did the last pair fit okay?”

She nodded opting not to reply verbally feeling the emotions bubble up from deep within her. Emotions she buried so deep down she wasn’t sure if they’d ever come back up. But your gentleness with her, your determination to break down those walls she put up so high was beginning to crack the walls. How you could be so thoughtful was beyond her greatest comprehension. You had to be selfish in the world. You were the opposite.

“Okay!” You clapped at the group made it back to the house, “I’m going to run to the boutique to grab what I need. See you guys later.”

“Want some company?”

Your stupid heart sped right on up hearing that husky voice from behind you. Biting your cheek, you wanted to hide the smile that was forming automatically. God, you’d dreamed of moments like these. Moments where Joel sought you out instead of you seeking him out. Moments where you knew he liked you. Wanted to be around you.

“I’ll always take your company Joel.” Turning towards him you did not want to see Frank and Tess’s reaction. There was a 100% chance they’d run into the house giggling like little schoolgirls gossiping about the two of you. They turned into middle school girls the second any kind of drama could be sniffed in the air.

You could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of a blush dance across the apples of his cheeks.

Giving him a soft smile, you started walking to the boutique with Joel in tow.

“How are you doing Joel?” You asked hoping he’d give you the real answer not the bullshit fluffy stuff you were used to. You always asked him this same question each time he came.

“I’m… tired.” He admitted while running his hand through his grown-out hair.

Looking down to the ground you hid the frown as you kept pace with Joel now, “I can’t even imagine Joel. I’m so sorry... I”

He cut you off by placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. The contact immediately making you freeze up. It’d been too long since you’d been touched by anybody other than your brother or Bill. Your eyes clouded over with unshed tears as you tried to bite back the emotion that suddenly overcame you.

“You don’t need to apologize.” You continued to walk as you racked your brain for anything to say to him, but it seemed to have short circuited.

“I feel guilty.” Not having a clue why you were admitting it to him you blinked a few times hiding your emotions best as you could.

Joel didn’t understand why you would feel that way. He just gave you a curious look, waiting for you to continue. When you didn’t hear his reply you finally bucked up the courage to get another look back at him. His eyes urging for you to elaborate.

“Why me? Why did I get to live this life. This easy, simple life? How did I luck into it? I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s all ending soon anyway.” You decided to drop the bomb on Joel. Finally feeling like you could tell somebody.

“Why do you say that?”

You sighed finally spitting out what’s been bothering you for the last few months, “I think Frank’s sick.”

“What kinda sick?”

“Not infected. I think it’s like pre-outbreak sick Joel.” You turned away wiping the stupid tears that slipped down your cheek. You were worried. So, fucking worried for your best friend.

Joel still looked confused, “Okay. Why do you think that?”

“He’s tired all the time. Complains to Bill about losing feeling in his hands and feet. He doesn’t remember things like he use to. I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but something just doesn’t feel right.”

Joel frowned trying to think of words to comfort you, but he came up terribly short. He didn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. The last time he had to was when Sarah was alive. An entire lifetime ago.

You continued knowing he hadn’t a clue what to say, “Bill won’t talk to me about it either. Says nothing’s wrong. I don’t know what to do Joel. They can’t just ignore it.

“Do you think there’s medicine? I can try and find something.”

You shook your head, “Don’t think so. Don’t think they had a cure back then. Sure as hell don’t have one now.”

“Well, you don’t know that Y/N.”

“It’s not cancer. It’s in his brain or something. That’s what the books are saying. I don’t know Joel. It just doesn’t feel right.”

He nodded, “Keep an eye on him.”

You stopped in once you reached the store. Quickly you ran in grabbing what you needed before meeting him back on the street to start your walk back to Bill’s house. Both of you walked back in silence, unsure of what to say.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.” Joel broke the comfortable silence that consumed the walk home.

“Yeah.” You mumbled not really feeling like debating right now.

“Really. You and Frank were meant to find this place. You were meant to do everything here. You’ve been a constant in Tess’s life. My life, for the last eight years? God, how’s it been that long?” Joel smiled thinking back on his times with you,.

You smiled, “Don’t make me feel so old Joel.”

That drew a heavenly laugh out of your favorite guy. Something that came around so rarely that you cherished every second, “You’re still a kid.” Joel didn’t believe that. As cruel as this world was to everyone it still looked so beautiful on you. You hadn’t aged like everyone he knew. A woman who could pass in her twenties easily.

Scoffing you shook your head, “Hardly! I’m seasoned at life.”

“You sure are.” Joel nodded. He smiled as he studied you this time around. He wished and prayed he wouldn’t have fallen for you, but he couldn’t resist. Not with that smile. Not with your kindness. He wished this was easier. There was no easy way to go about it. That’s why neither of you cared to admit your feelings. What good would it really do but complicate things further?

You made it back to the house where you were ambushed by Frank who looked far too happy, “Y/N! They got us strawberry seeds! Your favorite, remember?”

Walking over to him you inspected the seeds. Looking up to Tess you smiled softly to her, “Thank you. I haven’t had a, uh, strawberry in what?” You looked to Frank brushing the tears away from your eyes, “Fifteen years now?”

He nodded with a big happy smile, “Yeah, fifteen years.”

You turned to Joel, “Thank you so much!”

“Sure, we would’ve brought them sooner if I would’ve known you liked them so much.” He admitted. He wasn’t sure how you did that to him. Got him admitting embarrassing things in front of everybody he knew.

“I guess I just forgot about them. Such a luxury I didn’t even think of. They were our mom’s favorite. She found a way to incorporate them in our food almost everyday.”

Frank wrapped you in a hug. He knew just how soft you were. How sad you got when you thought about mom or dad. They just disappeared right out of your life. Dad never made it back from work that day. Mom got infected the second day. Neither of you could kill her so you ran. Ran so far away until you landed in the Baltimore QZ. Until it then was demolished.

Giving him a squeeze to let him know you were alright you pulled yourself away from him, “Thank you both. Really. Now you’ll just have to come back in a few months when they’re grown. We can make some strawberry shortcake.” The gears started turning in your head. There were so many new recipes you guys could use with strawberries now on the menu.

Joel nodded. Tess agreed, “We already agreed to coming around more often anyway. Now it’s just an extra excuse.”

Frank pulled her to the living room to talk about who knows what.

“Alright, I’ve gotta get to work.” You held up the green yarn. Walking over to the chair in the window you got comfortable.

“Want some company?” Your favorite voice broke your concentration.

“You know my answer, Joel Miller.” With some newfound confidence you winked at him as you said so.

Four – Eighteen Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Boston

“No. No, no, no, no, fuck no!” You punched the pillow sitting next to you with all your might. This couldn’t be fucking happening to you. They couldn’t be making you leave. Feeling your heart tip into two you let the tears fall freely. How could your brother do this to you? You knew his health was the reason, but you couldn’t fathom why he wouldn’t let you stay. You’ve been through this whole thing with him. It felt like he was just abandoning you.

“Y/N… you have to.” Frank’s sad face broke you. You didn’t care about his feelings anymore. You broke down completely now letting the loud sobs free.

“Please Frank, please don’t make me go.” Choking on your words you could hardly comprehend why he was saying this. Why he was making you go.

“You can’t be here any longer. You have to go.” He couldn’t look at you not with the look you had on your face.

“Just tell me why Frank! I can help. I can help you both. I’ll do more. If that’s what it is, you know I’ll do more Frank. Please don’t make me go. Please Frank.”

He shook his head letting his own fresh set of tears fall, “I’m dying Y/N. I’ve got a few months, maybe a year left. You can’t be here for that.”

“I’ll die out there.” You shook your head back and forth suddenly terrified of what traveling to Boston actually meant. The real world. The sick world. The world that wanted to kill you.

“Not with Joel. Not with Tess.”

A cry broke from your throat, “Just like that? After all this time? I can be there for you in the end. I can help Bill.”

“Bill’s going to have to move on to and I’m not sure if you fit into that plan.”

“Oh.” You continued to cry. Curling up within yourself you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. Frank didn’t dare try and comfort you. He knew that wasn’t welcomed. So, he sat there. He wasn’t going to leave you. Not yet anyway.

After calming down you finally processed what the this all meant. It meant the end of the road for you and Frank. It meant starting over, completely. You knew it would end sooner or later but it still stung. It didn’t feel like enough time.

Standing suddenly, you caught Frank’s attention who was just sitting there with his head down, “I’m staying in the guest house.”

“Y/N…”

“Night.” You shut the door behind you, loudly.

It was still bright out when you laid down to go to sleep. Joel and Tess would be here in the morning to get you. To take you to your new home. Turning over in your bed you looked out the bedroom window studying your home once more. The flowers that bloomed out front reminded you of all the times you and Frank spent gardening. Making your home beautiful.

No longer would you be able to make trips to the boutique. No longer would you be able to stock it up for your guests. No longer would you get to live in this little fantasy land.  

Woken by a hand on your shoulder you pushed the hand away, annoyed you were woken so abruptly, “Go away Frank.” You mumbled.

“Not Frank.” Fuck. Why was Joel in your room waking you up?

“Oh,” You couldn’t bear to turn towards him. You adored him. Loved him even. But you didn’t want to go like this. Being forced outside your will. It hurt. Crushed you even. You didn’t want to take your anger out on Joel so best to keep your back turned to him. But God, you just wanted to scream. Yesterday you were just living your life as normal, as possible, that you could. Then Frank dropped the bomb and now you were just expected to go, “Sorry, Joel.” Meekly replying to the man, you shed a single tear. That’s the one thing you hated about yourself. How damn emotional you got. You couldn’t bottle it up even if you tried.

“S’fine.” He sighed not sure what to say. What could he say? He knew you didn’t want to go. Frank warned him and Tess once they got there. He knew just how devastated you likely were. Everything you knew was about to vanish. Joel had gone through that a few times. It wasn’t the best feeling. But he always survived. He knew you’d be just fine. And there was that sick twisted thought of happiness that you’d be close to him.

He tried to fight these feelings away. Tried his damn hardest. He knew you couldn’t really love in a world like this. How devastating it always ended. Nobody was ever really that lucky. Joel had loved hard and lost even harder. He swore he’d never let in anybody ever again. Tess was the closest and they were just partners. Nothing more. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her.

Then you came along. All happy and shit. He swore he’d never love hard again but that promise seemed to crack each time he saw you. You never failed to put a smile on his usual stoic face. He resisted the urges for so long until he couldn’t any longer.

“Can you give me a moment?” You asked hoping he’d take the hint.

He nodded before realizing you were turned away from him, “Right, yeah. I’ll be at Bill’s place.”

“Okay.” You closed your eyes until you heard him close the door. Letting out the shaky breath you were holding. You watched from your window as Joel walked slowly back over to Bill’s place. Seemingly lost in thought.

You put on the fresh set of clothes that you always left over. A simple set of jeans, t-shirt, and a hoodie. Not believing it was really it you forced your legs to walk back over. You had to face the music sooner or later.

“Morning.” You nodded your head at Tess, the first person you saw sitting in the living room.

Giving you a sad smile, she nodded right back to you, “Morning.”

“Y/N.” You heard your brothers voice, “Bill made you a pack. It’s got everything you might need.”

Biting your lip, you took it gratefully. You really couldn’t have done it without either of them, “Thank you.”

“You’ll be okay out there.”

“Sure.”

Joel and Tess sat back watching the painful interaction. Tess nodding towards the door letting Joel know they needed to get out. They both snuck out without you or your brother really noticing. Both too caught up in whatever the hell this was.

“Y/N.”

“Spit it out Frank.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. I’m doing this for you. It’s best for you.” You leaned back into the wall crossing your arms. Choosing your words very wisely. This would be the last time you’d talk with him in this lifetime. You had to do this right. For his sake and yours.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.” You let a tear fall. Dammit here they came. The waterworks, “I just wish you’d let me be here for you but if you think this is best then I’ll go.”

“It’s best.”

Letting a few more tears slip you nodded your head, “Tell Bill that I love him. I love you, Frank.” You walked over hugging him tightly. Squeezing him so tightly you knew it was hurting him, but he didn’t dare say a word. You were hurt and grieving him even while he was still standing there.

Letting him go you gave him your best smile, “I’ll always love you, Frank.”

“And I’ll always love you. Be safe out there.”

“You know it.” You turned quickly walking towards the door. Shutting it behind you, you took a breath. Why did you have to be born into this world? What good fucking came out of all of this. What was the point?

Walking over to Joel and Tess, you gave them a quick head nod.

“You alright?” Tess asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Joel looked a little too apprehensive seeing your blood shot eyes and rosy cheeks, “You sure?”

“Positive. Please, let’s go.”

“Alright, follow me.” Tess led the way. This was your life now. This was going to be just fine.

The walk back to the QZ was quiet and cold. You didn’t dare complain though. They were simply doing this as friends. Whatever the hell friends were. It only dawned on you as soon as you got close, without incident, that you were an outsider. How in the fuck was that going to work?

“Joel?” You asked one night shortly before you arrived.

“Hmm?” He stayed silent most of the way. Not ever knowing what to say to you. God, he wanted to be a source of comfort, but he hadn’t a clue how to be for you.

“How’s this going to work? I’m an outsider and all.”

He understood your concern, “It’s all taken care of. Tess got some paperwork made up. You’ll live with me for the time being and we’ll find you a job.”

“Cool,” You nodded. Pleasantly surprised that it had been so thought out, “Thanks Joel.”

“Sure.” He had a hard time looking at you. Knowing he’d cave for whatever friendly look you’d be giving his way.

“Thanks for everything Joel. Really. For protecting me and what not.” You mumbled feeling terribly awkward about it all. Even though you didn’t appreciate your life so much anymore it felt good to be looked after. To be wanted and taken care of.

“I’ll always protect you.”

Five – Twenty Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Bill’s

“You don’t have to go in.” Joel stood at the gate blocking the path for you and Ellie.

You shook your head, “I’m okay.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Let’s fucking go then.”

Smiling at the girl you turned back towards Joel, “You heard the girl.”

He gave you a skeptical look, “You sure?”

“Yeah, I just won’t go in the house.” You kept your eyes forward, not darling to look at him.

He nodded turning back towards the overgrown town. Ellie walked past you keeping pace with Joel. Bugging him about something. You hung back taking a leisurely stroll through your old home. A place you called home for nearly fourteen years.

The usual green grass had turned a shade of brown without Frank’s attention to detail. The bright yellow flowers had been overgrown with weeds. A tug at your heartstrings knowing the worst had come to Frank. That was expected. His condition going from okay to tragic in a matter of a few months. What you didn’t expect was Bill taking his life too. Bill wouldn’t let this place go to shit. It was his home first.

Too quickly you made it back to the house. Joel looked back at you before he and Ellie went in. You nodded, letting him know it was alright. You made your way to the side of the house where your garden was. You strolled through the raised garden beds that were overgrown with who knows what now. It looked like the place hadn’t been touched in two years. He must’ve done it right after you left. They must’ve decided together. Without you.

Tears sprung to your eyes when you spotted the thriving strawberry patch. Somehow untouched by weeds or the animals around it your once small square of strawberries had grown tenfold. Seemingly thriving in this environment.

Squatting down you picked a ripe one. Turning it over in your hand a few times just thinking about Frank before you ate it. He would’ve loved to share one last one with you.

“To Frank.” You mumbled before taking the last bite, discarding the stem on the floor.

You sat down next to the strawberry patch grabbing a few more before you laid back onto the grass. Letting yourself feel sorry for yourself after everything. Knowing what Frank was going to do. Seeing Tess die in front of your eyes. Realizing Bill also left this world. Everyone you loved and cared for gone in a matter of two years.

Tess’s death hurt you the worst. One moment she was there and the next she wasn’t. So unexpected. You had time to process and grieve your brother’s death. Bills caught you off guard but didn’t surprise you completely.

Looking up to the sky you remembered a long-ago conversation with Tess about favorite colors. Sky Blue. It looked so pretty today. Not a single cloud in the sky. One big blue sky.

“Bill’s gone.” Joel’s voice interrupted your peaceful solace.

Flicking your eyes over to look at him you didn’t see Ellie behind him, “I know.”

“You, okay?” He took a seat next to you.

“Mhmm. I’m fine. Take a strawberry. They’re still good.” You smiled up at him continuing to lay on your back.

He did as you instructed, “They are.”

Giving him a genuine smile, you just felt comforted by his presence. He was the only constant in your life for the last two years. You’d grown far too attached to the man, but could you blame yourself? He was everything to you. You were so terrified that you’d lose him too. It’s all you seemed to be doing in the last two years.

“Get everything you need?”

“Yeah. Battery is charging for another hour or so.”

“Ellie?”

“She checking out the town. I told her about the boutique.”

Sitting up you looked over at him. He was so beautiful. The salt and pepper look throughout his hair only making him more attractive in your eyes. The scar that graced his cheek enhanced everything about him. His hair was at the perfect length where it flicked all over the place. He’d probably start complaining in a few weeks. Then you’d cut it and it’d be far too short, and you had to wait until it was your favorite length again.

“Maybe she’ll grab something.”

He nodded, “Power still works. Grab a shower while you can?” He stood up offering you a hand.

“Sure,” You took his hand in yours. Joel pulled you up gingerly. Always so careful with you, “Thanks Joel. I’m going to the house next door. It should still be stocked up.”

“Need a change of clothes?”

He was always so thoughtful with you. Never skipping a beat, always making you a priority. His way of showing just how much he loved you. And he did. Boy did he love you. He just had a hard time expressing it directly. Showing his love in other ways instead. He initially said no when Frank proposed you coming back with them to Boston. But when he heard his pleas through the radio, he knew what he needed to do.

He was surprised at how well you adapted out there. You knew your strengths, weaknesses. You knew how to be helpful and when to take a step back. You never complained either. Just wore a smile on your face instead. That was how you coped. Smile and walk. You’d be there soon enough. The first trip was the hardest. It got easier after that. Joel wouldn’t let you sneak out with him at first. Too scared you’d get hurt. But Tess eventually convinced him. Then you were off helping them out as you could.

“If you don’t mind? There should be some clothes in my room.”

“You got it.”

You’d known about Frank’s passing. Hoping to come to Bill’s for supplies. Lucky for you it hadn’t been raided, yet. Joel worked on getting the truck ready while you and Ellie showered.

You walked back over to Bill’s standing at the front door. You wanted to go in so bad, but it didn’t feel right. Something tell you that you shouldn’t.

“Hey, you hear me?”

You snapped out of the trance you seemed to be under, “No, sorry Joel, what’s up?”

“Come on, need your help loading up.” He motioned to the garage on the side of the house.

“Yeah, alright.” You jogged over to meet him, “Thanks for the clothes.”

“Mhmm.” He kept his gaze forward.

You really couldn’t take it much longer. The thought of losing yet another person with telling them how you felt just didn’t sit right any longer.

“You know I love you right?” You asked.

“What?” he paused looking taken aback at your sudden admittance.

“I love you, Joel.” You smiled a genuine smile. One that felt so good to do.

“You do?”

“Why do you look so surprised? Of course, I do. You’re everything to me.”

He gave you that brilliant smile that made you weak at the knees, “You love me, huh?”

You slapped his arm, “I love you. How many times are you going to make me say it?” You giggled feeling like he was loosening up. Softening even further as he saw your overexcited state

“I dunno.” He took a step towards you, “It sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” You asked transfixed on his gaze.

“Oh yeah, and you know what?” He asked.

“What’s that?”

“I think I love you too.” It felt strange admitting it out loud, but damn did it feel good. Right.

Your heart started racing, “You think?” Raising your eyebrows, you dared take a step closer to him.

He shook his head a bit upset by his choice of words. Always seeming to mess them up, “I know. I love you, Y/N.””

“I like the sound of that.” You didn’t let your smile fade only bigger. God did I feel good to get it out. You knew what his answer would be. He showed his love in other ways but damn did it feel good to hear.

“Yeah, now come here.”

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[eddiexmunsonlover]

One Step Away From You (Chapter 2)

ExBestFriend!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

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Chapter Summary: It's your first day back at Hawkins High. Your day goes as expected, until you see the face of your ex-best friend, Eddie Munson, at a lunch table with your younger friends.

WC: 5.7k

Warnings: MDNI. Explicit language used. Descriptions of anxiety, mentions of depression.

Notes: I've been dying to post this chapter. I've been waiting to post chapters until I have the next one finished, and it's been harder than expected to not just post them right away. This chapter features time spent with the younger kids, and Steve and Robin, as well as a little flashback. I hope you guys enjoy!

Monday, September 16th, 1985

Your eyes slowly open, taking in the dawn sky peeking through your curtains as the sun begins to rise. Your eyes shift to the clock by your bed, 5 minutes before your alarm goes off. Yawning, your hand falls to rest on your cat Henny, peacefully sleeping against your chest. You smile as you gently pet his soft black fur, enjoying the few moments of peace before you have to get ready. Moments of peace, soon interrupted by anxious thoughts about your first day back at Hawkins High. The repetitive feeling of your cat’s fur against your hand helps to keep your thoughts from spiraling too much. That is until the sudden, loud blaring of your alarm caused him to sprint off the bed in a flash. You snort out a laugh as you quickly turn off your alarm.

Stretching out all your limbs, you climb out of bed with a sigh and head to the bathroom to start your morning routine. You spend a few minutes browsing your wardrobe, deciding on what to wear for your first day outfit. Finally deciding on a pair of your favorite acid wash jeans that hug your curves, a Metallica Ride the Lightning shirt, and your trusty, worn black converse hi-tops. You turn to your vanity, beginning your usual hair and make-up routine. You kept your hair in its natural form, only adding some hairspray to your roots to add some volume. Followed by a smokey eye, winged eyeliner, mascara, and some chapstick. You grab your bag, keys, and a pack of pop-tarts, giving Henny a kiss on his head before heading out the door. 

You start your truck, turning the dial of the radio until you hear the familiar sounds of Hall & Oates. You light a menthol cigarette, a habit picked up from your parents and the stress of the last few years, before backing out of your driveway. You take note of the same unfamiliar van in Uncle Wayne’s driveway as you pull out of the trailer park. As you drive down the road, singing along to Out of Touch, you feel that familiar anxious knot start to form in your stomach as you get closer to the school.

A knot that only grows when you pull into Hawkins High’s parking lot, noting all the cars and students already there. You pull into an open space in the back and park your truck, sighing as you finish your cigarette, eyes roaming among the students lingering around their cars. Starting at a new school was never easy, but starting at a new school after the year had already started was worse. Today marked the 3rd week of the school year. You hope the year was still fresh enough that no one would pay particular attention to a newer face. Who were you kidding, in a town as small as Hawkins? Of course they would notice. You groan before deciding, Fuck it, let’s get this over with. You grab your bag and begin walking toward the school entrance, not letting your eyes linger away from the main doors to meet the ones of your fellow students.

After 3 years, the halls of Hawkins High are still familiar to you, finding your way to the principal’s office easily. You enter, eyes falling onto a middle-aged woman, clad in all purple clothing and accessories as you approach her desk. 

“Hi, uhm-” you cleared your throat, prompting her eyes to lift to meet yours. “It’s my first day. My mom already took care of the paperwork. I’m here to get my locker and class schedule.” You notice the way her eyes look you over, squinting scrutinizingly in the process.

“Name?” she asks, voice monotone as she reaches for a folder of papers in the desk drawer. You give your name, watching as she shuffles through them. Your eyes briefly look around, landing on the door to the Principal’s office. You can’t help rolling your eyes as you notice the plaque on the door, Principal Higgins. Can’t wait to deal with that prick again. You look back to the receptionist as she wordlessly hands over 2 papers with your locker information and your class schedule. Her eyes never look back up to you as she quickly resumes her previous task. Your body shifts awkwardly. 

“Uh, thank you. Have a good one” you politely offer as you turn to leave. Rolling your eyes and muttering “Rude bitch” as you re-enter the halls and head to your first class.

Your first few classes of the day go as expected. Much to your dismay, your presence had caught the eyes and attention of a few of your peers. If it wasn’t for the fact that your presence in their classes is new, your looks would be grabbing their attention regardless. You did your best to be as unbothered as you could, ignoring their gazes and whispers as you focused on the lectures or doodling in your notebook. As you sit in your last class before lunch, you can’t help but feel frustrated at your predicament.

Moving back to Virginia in 10th grade had fucked everything up for you. To say you were devastated after the move is an understatement. You struggled to adjust; switching schools half-way through the school year, leaving behind Eddie, your Dad, and your parents' crumbled marriage. You fell into a depression and didn’t attempt to make new friends or try to pass your classes. By the end of your 10th grade year you’d failed most of your classes, causing you to be held back and having to redo the year over again. If your family had never fallen apart and you’d never moved, you would’ve graduated this past May. 

There’s no point in lingering on it now, it’s done. The best thing you could do now is stay on top of your schoolwork, graduate next May and hopefully go off to college in the Fall to start the rest of your life.

Your eyes shoot up from your notebook as the bell rings, dragging you out of your thoughts. You collect your things, following your peers into the quickly crowding halls. You originally planned to spend your lunch period in the library, setting up your school planner and figuring out assignments you already needed to catch up on. However, your young friend Mike Wheeler on the other hand, insisted that you come and sit with the boys for lunch when you’d called and let them know you were back in Hawkins. 

~

The cafeteria buzzes with its usual chatter, as does the Hellfire table. Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Grant discuss the latest DnD campaign, begging Eddie for details of the upcoming one this Friday. Eddie laughs bashfully, denying their requests. Until he notices the newer, younger members of Hellfire completely oblivious to their conversation, and thoroughly engaged in their own. Eddie attempts to filter out the whines of the older members.

“I’m so happy she’s back, I can’t believe it.” Dustin remarks.

“I know! You told her to come sit with us right?” Lucas directs at Mike, who eagerly nods his head in response.

“Yeah, has anyone seen her yet?”

The other two boys shake their heads.

“I could’ve sworn I saw her on my way to 3rd period but I wasn’t sure” Dustin adds.

“Man. It’s nice we’ll actually get to go to school together, at least for this year.” Lucas says, referencing the few years you have on them.

It’s a rapid fire conversation Eddie can barely hear. Just when he’s about to interrupt and ask who the hell they’re talking about,

“Oh wait, there she is!”

Eddie’s eyes follow to where the younger boys’ eyes and small waves are directed toward, eyes landing on you.

Eddie’s movements freeze, breath hitching in his throat as he watches you. It’s like everything moves in slow motion. Your eyes quickly scan the cafeteria, uncertainty sketched across your face. Until your eyes catch the younger boys, and a breathtaking smile spreads across your face that knocks the air right out of his goddamn lungs. You giggle softly as you begin to walk towards them. And all Eddie can do is fucking stare. 

He has to force himself to blink multiple times to make sure he’s not dreaming. It’s really you. What the fuck, it’s you?? He could only watch in disbelief, brain short circuiting. In the nearly 3 years that had passed, you really didn’t look much different at all. You did seem more confident, comfortable in yourself. Your features had matured a bit more too, but you still had that same baby face; pink, chubby cheeks and soft jawline. Only now your hair is a few shades lighter and you’re sporting a nose ring.  Your body had filled out more too, the same body Eddie had practically gawked over seen from his bedroom window yesterday. Now that he has a view from the front, he can’t stop his eyes from fully looking you over. From your gorgeous face, to the faint outline of your plush stomach through your Metallica shirt, to your thick thighs that rubbed against each other as you walked. Eddie was still frozen in place as you finally approach the table, eyes not having met his yet. 

You greet the younger boys with a smile, 

“Hey buds” you exclaim happily. Your arms wrap around Mike and Lucas, giving them both a half hug before rounding the other side of the table to Dustin, ruffling his hair playfully. 

“How’s freshman year treating y’all?” You ask genuinely. You can’t deny that you had worried a bit for them. Freshman year can be rough, especially for a ‘freak’.

“Good”

“Eh”

“Not so bad” Mike shrugs, “the club has helped.” His head gestures to the other, older boys at the rest of the table. 

Your eyes follow, noting the other boys’ eyes are already on you, watching in subtle curiosity. Your eyes land on the boy sitting at the head of the table. Hair long, dark, and wild. An unreadable expression on his face, dark brown eyes boring into yours. 

Eddie. Fuckkkk. 

Your eyes widen slightly, smile faltering as you try to swallow the lump that just lodged itself in your throat. You try your best to put on a genuine smile, only partially effective as an awkward half smile tugs at your lips. 

“Hey, Eddie” you offer with a small nod.

His mind finally snaps out of its daze, reality and resentment setting in. He coughs lightly, clearing his throat as his features and gaze harden.

“Y/N” he offers, voice cold as he snatches his gaze from yours. He resumes eating his pretzels, as if your very presence didn’t just shatter his world as he knew it. 

“You guys know each other?” Lucas asks curiously.

Dustin turns his head to look up at you behind him, eyes widening.

“Wait… Eddie? As in THE Eddie… that taught you DnD?” Dustin asks.

You give him a tight lipped smile as you nod, 

“The one and only.”

You begin to fidget on your feet uncomfortably, stomach turning. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots until now.” Dustin breathes out slowly.

“Whoa… you should totally join and play with us!” Mike quickly adds.

Abort mission. Abort mission. Your thoughts scream at you. 

“Oh, that’s alright.” You dismiss him quickly with a smile and small wave of your hand, “Anyway, I just came by to say ‘Hi’ to you guys real quick. I gotta get going.”

You’re greeted with a chorus of groans from the younger boys. You offer a small nod and tight-lipped smile to the older boys. Your eyes briefly glance at Eddie, whose eyes haven’t left his pretzels since first leaving yours. You tell the younger boys you’ll see them later as you begin to walk off towards the exit. Finally releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. A breath that’s quickly catching in your throat again as you hear fast footsteps approaching from behind you and feel a hand on your shoulder. You relax as you turn and see Dustin’s face.

“Hey, wait. So reaalllly quick. Lucas and Mike wanted me to ask if you wouldn’t mind giving us a ride home after school?” 

“Seriously man?” You let out a genuine laugh, caught off guard.

“Oh, come onnn. You remember how much it sucks to ride the bus! Pretty pretty please??” Dustin asks, putting on the best puppy eyes he can manage. You roll your eyes and groan playfully at him.

“Fine, but whoever gets to my truck first gets to sit in the cab with me, the last 2 are stuck in the truck bed” you add. 

If you’re gonna be stuck giving them a ride, you’d at least get some entertainment out of watching them race for the best seat. Dustin salutes you before scurrying back to the Hellfire table as you turn and walk out of the cafeteria as quickly as your legs can take you.

Gareth, Jeff, and Grant share curious, confused, but knowing glances at each other and Eddie. Picking up on the undeniable tension in the air between him and this girl. Feeling their eyes on him, and before Gareth can even open his mouth, Eddie’s hand shoots up to cut him off.

“Don’t.” 

They’d drop it for now, but Eddie knew it was only a matter of time before it was brought up, whether by them or the newer members whom you seemed to know so well. 

~

Shitshitshit! Your thoughts rapidly fly through your head as you hightail it to the library to spend the remainder of your lunch. Eddie’s was the last face you expected to see at school, in Hawkins. Let alone sitting at a table, in a DnD club with your young friends. What the hell is he still doing here anyway? Remember that comforting, hopeful feeling you had? It was long gone now, dissipating at the sight of your old best friend. Crumbling into ashes as your eyes met his, his face even more beautiful than you remembered… and hardened as he saw you. 

You were so confused. Last you knew of Eddie was that he had hooked up with some girl who worked for a record company in LA, recording a demo tape for a record deal back in Spring 84’. At least that’s what you and Eddie’s friend from the trailer park and Corroded Coffin's drummer, Ronnie had relayed to you over the phone. You’d asked her not to give you any more updates about him after that, the news making your stomach drop. When she went off to NYU later that year, you figured the band had just replaced her with a new drummer.

You enter the library and head towards an old spot of yours, a table in the back tucked between bookshelves rarely perused by your peers. Your head falls into your hands as you plop down into a chair, sighing deeply as you attempt to calm your thoughts and breathing. All those thoughts and feelings about Eddie you’d tried to bury over the last few years were now clawing their way out of the grave and overtaking your mind. 

You feebly try to push them down again. You look at the lunch you had packed for yourself. Knowing you couldn’t stomach it right now, you pull out your planner and syllabi from your earlier classes. It only leads to your thoughts of Eddie and your school work hashing it out in your head for your undivided attention. You sigh again, already knowing which will be the winner. Leaning back in your chair, you think about how exactly you got here. How the best friend you’ve ever had could barely make any eye contact with you, and the sight of him made you have a near panic attack.

~

It had been a cloudy day in early December 1982, when you dragged your feet across the road to the Munson trailer. Sprinkles of rain began to fall, soaking into your hair as you dreaded breaking the news to your best friend. You willed away the tears that were already building in your eyes before you could even step onto Uncle Wayne’s porch. A few moments after your weak knocks on the door, it opened to reveal your best friend. His signature cheeky smile plastered on his face, quickly slipping away when he noted the somber look on yours.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” He asked softly, hand reaching for your arm as he stepped out the trailer to join you on the porch. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you knew as soon as you did you wouldn’t be able to stop the waterfall. 

“I’m leaving, Eddie…” you mutter, voice soft and cracking. 

“Leaving? W-What do you mean?” Eddie asks, confusion seeping through his voice and features. You gulp, trying to calm yourself before you continue. “Is it your dad? Is he giving you guys problems? I told you, you can come to me and Wayne if he-”

“No-No. He’s in the tank for a DUI right now a-and Mom thinks… it’s perfect timing to just get away, put some distance…” you manage to get out. You take a deep breath before willing yourself to look up and finally meet his eyes. “We’re moving back to Virginia.” 

Your eyes search his as yours begin to well with tears. Finally saying the words to him made it real, definite, final. He sighs deeply, a small frown pulling at his lips.

“C’mere…” He whispers, pulling you into his chest as his arms wrap around and squeeze you tightly. His gesture causes your tears to fall freely. You almost feel bad that you’re no doubt soaking his shirt and leaving behind an embarrassing wet spot, but the feeling of his arms around you and the sad, anxious thoughts flying through your mind distract you from it.

“It’s gonna be okay” he says reassuringly, a hand softly rubbing up and down your back.

After a minute he pulls back, hands holding both of your arms as he looks at you with a small smile.

“They have phones back in Virginia, right?” he asks, joking lightly. Anything to lessen the frown and tears streaking your cheeks. You smirk softly in response, nodding your head as you wipe your tears. “Then it’ll be okay. We’ll call a-and talk about school, new records, DnD campaigns… that dick Higgins” A brief, wet laugh escapes your mouth at his words. 

“all the things we talk about now. I promise.” He finishes, moving one of his hands from your arm to extend his pinky finger out to you. A long playful gesture you’ve done since meeting in 4th grade. You take a moment to let his words and optimism sink in. 

You wrap your pinky finger around his, offering back a small smile. “Promise.”

~

The bell signaling the end of the lunch period pulls you out of your memory. You collect your things, taking your place in the halls among your peers as you head toward your next class. Only 3 more periods to get through, that’s it. Just 3. Then you can go home, and dig into your stash for some relief from this whirlwind of a day. You take a deep breath and put on a brave face as you walk into your English class. You’re one of the first students there, quickly grabbing an open seat in the back. Settling in, you pull out your notebook from your bag, facing toward the front of the class just as a patched denim jacket catches your eye. Eddie saunters in, dropping ungracefully into a seat in the back, 2 rows away from you. This can’t be happening. You lace your fingers together, resting your mouth against them as you stare at the board, not daring to let your eyes wander towards the long haired boy.

A soft gasp coming from your right grabs your attention, 

“Hey, I know you! Scoops Ahoy right?” You look over the girl as she takes a seat next to you. She looks familiar, you’d definitely seen her a few times while you were working at Scoops this summer. Donna? Denise? Debbie? You tried remembering the girl's name, knowing Steve had mentioned it at some point.

You clear your throat before answering, “Yeah, mhm. That’s me.”

“Oh my gosh. I still can’t believe what happened with the fire. I mean, a grease fire? From that god awful Hot Dog on a Stick place? Still so crazy to me.” She states, shaking her head in disbelief. You nod softly in response.

“Yeah, tell me about it. Guess they never learned grease and water don’t mix.” You breathe out a soft laugh, “Not an experience I’ll forget anytime soon, that’s for sure.”

“For sure, I bet! Hey, I thought I remembered Steve saying something about you just visiting for the summer… I’m guessing you’re here to stay?” 

You were a little taken aback at how kind she’s being. She seemed nice enough buying ice cream, but holding a full on conversation with you in a classroom was unexpected. By the looks of her, she wouldn’t be considered a ‘freak’ by any means. Not popular, but not an outcast either.

“Yeah that’s right, at least until graduation.” you respond with a soft smile that she quickly returns.

“Cool. Well anyway, I’m glad you guys made it out okay.”

“Thanks, me too” You finish as she settles into her seat, just as Ms. O’Donnel begins to speak at the front of the class.

As you settle back into your own seat, your cheeks warm. He didn’t hear that, did he? You try to pay attention to Ms. O’Donnel as she discusses The Catcher in the Rye when you can feel eyes on you. Taking in your peripheral vision confirms it. Yep, he definitely heard that. Eddie is practically staring daggers at the side of your face before scoffing, shaking his head and looking toward the front of the class. 

It takes every fiber of his being to not storm out of the classroom right in that moment, but he actually wanted to try and graduate this year, so he stays. Leg rapidly bouncing, biting down his already short nails just to attempt to calm the nerves and emotions raging through his body. Seeing you again, then to overhear that you had been visiting Hawkins in the summer this whole time… it’s too much for him to process. He’s hurting, fucking heartbroken actually, but that’s being overshadowed by anger. He knew it. Part of him never wanted to fully admit it to himself, but now he knows it’s true. You had truly abandoned him. He’s never blamed you for moving back to Virginia. That wasn’t your fault. You had no control over it, and he knew that. What he could never understand though, was why a couple months after you’d moved, you stopped calling and returning his calls. He used to go over and over in his head if he had done something, said something wrong and could never think of anything. He had tried not to let himself linger on it for too long and put on a tough front. He had been wrong about you, he’d decided. You were just like all the other people in his life that just hurt and abandoned him. That’s what he had to tell himself to move on and not drive himself crazy. Even if part of him didn’t, wouldn’t believe it. Well now he knows. You’d been visiting in the summers this whole time, and never bothered to tell him or see him? He still doesn’t understand why, but now he knows that he was right.

As soon as the bell rings, Eddie’s the first out of his seat and out of the door. You take a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to crawl in a hole and hide, the undeniable feeling of guilt overtaking you. You know you can’t, however. You’re going to have to tough it out for 2 more periods. Eddie doesn’t even attempt it, immediately walking out to his spot in the woods behind the school to smoke, to try to calm his body and mind so he can at least try to attend his last class of the day. 

Art happens to be his last class of the day, a class that he notices upon entering, is another he has to share with you. If you had known your first day was going to go like this, you would’ve just stayed in bed with Henny all day. You shake your head to yourself, knowing this is something you won’t be able to avoid and run away from for long. Is that something you even want? You tended to avoid conflict and confrontation at all cost… but you love Eddie. You miss Eddie. You know things are the way they are because of you. You have to take responsibility for it. You had known dropping contact with Eddie might hurt him, but you told yourself it probably wouldn’t bother him that much and he’d move on quickly. The insecure part of your brain told you, you probably didn’t mean as much to him as he did to you. Seeing his reaction today at lunch, and in class overhearing of your summer visits he wasn’t included in, tells you you’re dead wrong. What the hell am I going to do? How am I going to fix this?

When the bell rings this time to signal the end of the school day, you’re the first out of your seat and the classroom. Stopping at your locker to collect the last of your things into your bag before heading to the front doors. Stepping outside you take a deep breath of fresh air, digging for your pack of cigarettes and quickly lighting one. You close your eyes as you blow out the smoke, immediately feeling slightly calmer.

Then, just as if the gods have heard your plea for some lightness to this quickly souring day, you spot a familiar BMW pulling into the front of the school. You can’t deny the smile that quickly appears on your face. You put out your cig before Robin inevitably joins, knowing her distaste for it. You stroll over to the car as Steve parks it, already jumping out of the driver's seat to wrap you in a tight hug. You giggle, hugging him back.

“Hey, haircut. Miss me that much already?”

“Hush it, Y/L/N.” Steve quips. A split second later, you hear a rapidly approaching squeal before a body is pushed against your back, effectively putting you in the middle of a human sandwich hug.

“Oh, Y/N! Thank god you’re here. I didn’t know how much more of Steve I could bear on my own!” Robin exclaims exasperatedly, resting her head on top of yours. You let out a belly laugh, enjoying the comfort of their presence and hugs before begging them to let you go. 

“So, how was your first day back?” Steve asks as you both lean back against his car. 

You roll your eyes, sighing as you shake your head. 

“That’s the last thing I wanna talk about right now” When they meet you with concerned, sympathetic looks, you add “It’ll be alright though. I’m just so happy to see you guys, it‘s just what I needed.” You offer them a genuine smile.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot the familiar curls of Dustin rushing out of the front doors of the school. Eyes quickly scanning the parking lot before landing on you. You point toward your truck in the back of the parking lot. 

“Black truck!” you shout, trying to hold back your laughter as you watch his eyes follow your finger before scurrying across the parking lot.

“Uh, HELLO, Henderson?!” Steve exclaims, arms thrown in the air in disbelief.

“I don’t have time for you right now, Steven!!” Dustin shrieks in response, dodging other student bodies as he races for the best seat. You can’t hold it in anymore at that, throwing your head back in laughter with Robin.

“Jeez. Guess I’m chopped liver, then.” Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he looks back over to you two.

“Oof. That’s rough, bud. How will your fragile ego ever recover?” Robin remarks, rubbing Steve’s arm in fake sympathy.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.”

You notice Mike and Lucas run out of the school seconds later, playing out the same actions as Henderson. Cursing when they see Dustin’s already ahead of them. 

“Oh, Y/N! You should totally apply to Family Video and work with us!” Robin exclaims excitedly.

“Yeah, it’ll be the three amigos again!” Steve adds, eliciting a groan and eye roll from Robin who lightly pushes him.

“Dingus”

“While I would love nothing more, I already promised my aunt I’d work for her at the restaurant” You respond with a pout. “But, you can definitely count on me coming in to bother y’all on your shifts.” 

They have a shift this afternoon so you part ways, hugging them goodbye with promises to talk later. Steve insists he wants to hear all the details about your day, when you’re ready to share of course. You smile, waving them off as you walk toward your truck. The 3 boys crowding around the passenger door, bickering with each other. 

“Dustin was here first. You two in the back, no arguments!” You state simply as you unlock the doors. As everyone gets settled, you quickly flip through your cassettes, putting in Motorhead’s Overkill album. As you begin to pull out from your parking spot, your eyes briefly land on Eddie. He stands at the front of the school, leaning against a pillar as he smokes a cigarette. Gareth is talking to him, but his eyes are on you. Catching the events of the last few minutes, cozying up with Steve Harrington of all people. You notice Gareth’s eyes follow Eddie’s to yours before you quickly return your focus to getting the hell away from this school. 

When you pull up to a red light, you open the small back window.

“Whose house am I dropping y’all off at?” 

“Mine is fine!” Mike responds, “We’ve got some homework to work on.”

You nod before a thought pops into your head.

“Hey” you turn your head slightly to look at Dustin and the boys in the back, “How is Max doing? I didn’t see her today.”

The boys are quiet for a moment, pondering what to say, causing your eyebrows to furrow in worry.

“She’s uh- she took everything that happened at the mall… Billy… pretty hard.” Mike finally says.

“She doesn’t really hang out with us much anymore. Her and her mom moved into the trailer park actually.” Dustin adds quietly.

“She broke up with me.” Lucas says after a few moments, unable to hide the sadness in his voice.

Your eyes widen in shock for a moment before you fully turn your head back, eyes meeting Lucas.

“I’m really sorry, bud. She probably just needs some time. I’m sure you guys will be able to work things out.” You offer sympathetically, Lucas giving you a soft nod and half-smile in return. 

You sigh, elbow resting on the bottom of your window frame, driving again as the light turns green. You make a mental note to figure out which trailer she’s moved into, keep an eye out for her at school and check in on her. Hearing she’s pulled away from the group and broke up with Lucas worries you, you don’t want her to have to go through this struggle alone.

Dustin breaks the silence a few moments later.

“Sooooo, what’s up with you and Eddie?” you choke out a laugh and shake your head. Real smooth, Dustin. “I mean, from the way you used to talk about him, you two seemed really close. But I picked up on that tension at lunch. Something happened, I know it.” he prods further, like this was a mystery he’s determined to insert himself in and solve.

“Nosey much, Henderson?” you say, side-eyeing him.

“I’m just saying. We’re close with you… and now Eddie is our dungeon master, we’re getting close with him… things could get sticky if there’s some tension there, which I know for a fact there is.”

“Oh is that so?” you retort, feeling relief as you pull into the boys’ neighborhood, knowing there isn’t as much time as Dustin would like to continue pushing you for information. “Dustin, I love ya. But respectfully, it’s none of your damn business, bud.” You finish, scrunching your nose at him teasingly. He puts his hands up defensively, dropping the conversation as you pull up to Mike’s house. You bid them farewell with a smile and wave as they thank you for the ride. 

You might have sped on the drive back to your trailer, just a little bit. You still have a few more hours till your mom gets home, and you want nothing more than the comfort of home and the familiar green plant in your lungs after your day. You don’t spare a glance at the trailer across the street as you pull in, quickly hopping out of the truck and unlocking the front door. You groan in relief as you quickly rid yourself of your bra and jeans, slipping into your comfy house shorts. You grab a blunt you pre-rolled, a lighter, and your portable radio before walking out the back door and sitting on the back steps. You’re grateful your small backyard is obscured from the views of your neighbors by some trees and bushes as you light your blunt. You lean back against the stair railing, listening to the sounds of Fleetwood Mac as you let the calming effects of your weed start to take over. Even as your body and mind calm, a single question repeatedly pushes into your thoughts.

How am I going to fix this?

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x plussize!reader #bestfriend!eddie munson #eddie munson slow burn #eddie munson best friends to lovers

[littlefeltsparrow]

You know what? I’m still mad about Papa Archeron getting a portrait while Nesta didn’t.

Nothing stokes my rage like that poor excuse of a parent being glorified in death while his eldest daughter is lambasted for not parenting his children for him. Despite the fact that he was the Archeron sister’s only living parent, the responsibility of parenting more often than not seemed to be placed on Nesta. Strange isn’t it? That the child was deemed more culpable for failing to parent than her LITERAL FATHER who mind you, fucked off to who knows where in the middle of a conflict only to return and be tragically murdered by the big bad villain.

But that’s not all. Papa Archeron dying saves SJM some major brain gymnastics. Because he died suddenly and tragically, he never has to answer for his failures as a parent. He’ll never have to face his daughters and make the effort to fight his wrongs because he conveniently was able to take the easy way out. Because of this, the lion’s share of culpability gets placed on Nesta’s shoulders (and don’t get me wrong, Nesta has failed her sisters before but not to the degree that their father did) where she is then left to suffer the consequences of her Father’s negligence.

Listen, I’m not about to claim that Nesta wasn’t bitchy and ungrateful towards Feyre during ACOTAR and a few more instances throughout the series. Objectively Nesta has been cruel and unkind to her younger sister when it was completely uncalled for. But I take issue with the fact that Nesta is held responsible for things that were ultimately her father’s fault and he.d to a much higher standard than many of the male characters in the series.

Nesta was far from perfect as an older sister, but she still made efforts to mend her relationship with Feyre during ACOTAR and ACOMAF before becoming the main scapegoat of the inner circle. You know what I never see? Rhysand or any members of the IC speaking ill of papa Archeron or expressing any anger whatsoever that he failed his daughters during an extremely vulnerable period of their lives. But you know what I do see? Every IC member judging Nesta so harshly and treating her so callously for her failure to protect and nurture Feyre while they were living in poverty. And yet, who is blamed for Feyre’s illiteracy? Who is blamed for Feyre’s decision to hunt in the woods when their father was RIGHT THERE?

Let’s be real here, Nesta receives more in-text and out of text criticism than Papa Archeron for two reasons. Firstly, Nesta is an actual character while Papa Archeron is a plot device used to explain why the sisters are in such a poor situation. HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FIRST NAME! So how can I possibly engage with his character in a meaningful way when his characterization has as much substance as a pile of cobwebs.

Secondly, Nesta is assumed to be more culpable in the neglect of Feyre’s safety and education because it was expected that she take up all the maternal duties to compensate for her Father’s absence. Even though Papa Archeron was there physically, there is little evidence that he contributed to any community building in their family or made any attempts at mediating conflicts between his daughters. As a father, there isn’t much expectation on him as a parent while for Nesta there is. Nesta’s refusal to be parentified was a subversion of the expectation that she would become a sacrificial parental figure to her sisters (despite only being a few years older than them). As such, Nesta’s refusal was viewed as more offensive and wrong than Papa Archeron because it was a resistance to rigid gendered expectations being forced upon her.

And then we come to the ultimate conclusion of Nesta’s lack of a portrait. Papa Archeron gets to die a hero and have his daughters honour his memory while Nesta has to live with the consequences. Nesta is the one who was there and yet she’s punished tenfold on a much larger scale by a clique of immortal fairies with no sense of proportionality when it comes to wrongdoings.

#anti sjm #pro nesta #anti nessian #anti ic #anti rhysand #sjm critical #acosf thoughts #acotar #nesta deserves better #nesta archeron

[babybluebex]

Bestie I’m dying to know what happens in the next segment of daddy and princess 👀

here's the next part! i love how much you guys enjoy this fic so thank you!! also sorry for making this short af weep cw description of injuries, wayne is a sweetheart

The drive back to Eddie's trailer was quiet. Eddie had a hard time breathing as he drove, swallowing thickly and breathing through his mouth, but he kept his hand firmly on your thigh as he drove. His thumb would stroke your skin every so often, like a reminder that you were there, and he sighed as he pulled up in front of the trailer, jerking the gear shift into park. "You alright?" he asked, and you nodded.

"Are you?" you asked, and Eddie nodded.

"As alright as I can be," he said. "C'mon, we've had a long night, let's go in and go to sleep."

You slept next to him in his small bed. You watched as he tried his best to sleep, but Eddie had a hard night, tossing and turning and grunting and groaning all night. Your sleep was thin as well, touching him in any way you could to remind him that you were there for him, and, eventually, around four in the morning, you both gave up on sleep and began to discuss the obvious.

You wanted Eddie and he wanted you, but you needed to be adults about it. You had been hurt by him, and he knew that he was hurting you as he did it. "I've always been like this," Eddie told you. "Using people for my own needs, not caring if I hurt people in the process or not. At the start of this, I didn't care about you. I just wanted to use you for sex, an innocent girl that wouldn't know I was hurting her... I thought I'd be able to fuck you and dump you and move on, but I... Fuck me, I fell in love with you. All the little things you do, how you wrinkle your nose when you don't like something or play with your skirt when you're nervous or even how you're just so kind— the cookies, princess, that was so nice. I fell in love with you and I didn't think I would, but I also... Fuck. I underestimated you. You're smarter and not as easy as I thought you'd be, and that realization has scared the fuck out of me. I love you, princess, and I want to be with you, but I also don't want to hurt you in the process. What do you think, princess?"

You chewed your lip as you tried to consider your options. "I wanna be with you," you told him. "I'm still mad that you treated me the way you did, but I accept your apology. You just can't do anything like that again. I need you to be honest with me about everything, okay? Everything."

"I will, princess, I swear I will," Eddie told you. "I'm never gonna lie to you again."

"And no more of your weird friends," you told him. "Gareth and Dustin and all of them are nice, but no more Stevie. Okay?"

"Of course," Eddie said. "It was wrong of me to even try to bring Steve into our relationship, and I'm so sorry, baby. If I had known that he would turn out to be such a piece of shit, I would never have even been friends with him in the first place."

"Okay," you told him. "I think I'm ready to be in a relationship with you again, then. But only if you keep all of your promises, alright? If you lie to me again or make me feel used, that's it. This is your last chance."

"You're so sweet," Eddie said, and he reached out and took your hand in his. "I don't deserve you."

You were quiet then, and you cuddled yourself close to Eddie's chest as his arms wound tight around you. "What happens when your uncle gets home?" you asked. "Are you gonna tell him you got in a fight?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to," Eddie sighed. "He's gonna know the truth before I even get to tell him. I used to get in fights a lot when I was younger, so this is nothing new to him."

"Why?" you asked. "Why would you get in fights?"

Eddie scoffed. "Why wouldn't I?" he mumbled. "I just... It was right after my mom got sick, and, y'know, when you're nine, you're trying to figure out your emotions and I couldn't figure mine out. I was angry all the time and I was hurt, and I dealt with it by hurting others... Nowadays I just hurt people with the things I decide to do. But Wayne, he got used to cleaning me up after fights, especially once I moved in with him."

"When did you come to live with your uncle?" you asked. You had yet to meet Wayne, and you were a little nervous to do it. It was the same as meeting Eddie's parents, and you remembered how he said that he didn't want you to meet his dad.

"I was ten or eleven," Eddie said. "Dad was in prison and the system placed me with Wayne. I'm actually glad that I'm with him; he's more like a dad to me than my actual father ever was." At that moment, there was a slam from outside, and Eddie sighed. "And he's home. You ready to meet him?"

"I don't have a choice, do I?" you asked nervously, and Eddie leaned towards you and kissed your cheek.

"He's gonna love you," Eddie said. "Just, umm... Don't call me Daddy around him, maybe? He would think that's weird."

"Sure," you answered. You heard the door to the trailer creak open and the heavy sound of work boots on the floor, and you heard a gruff voice call "M'home!"

"Hey, Wayne," Eddie called back. "Umm, could you come in here? I need to talk to you."

It was quiet for a moment, just for long enough for your anxiety to skyrocket, and then the door to the bedroom opened to show Wayne Munson. He was older and greying, a little thin and lanky like Eddie, and he had a confused look in his eyes when he saw you. "Who's this?" he asked, and he flicked on the overhead light. When he fully saw Eddie, though, his bruises and stained skin, Wayne's cheeks paled, and he said, "Oh, fuck, kid, you get in another fight?"

"Yeah," Eddie mumbled. "And this is my girlfriend. We went to a party and some douche was touching her and everything, and I went to help her and he threw a punch."

"Did you throw one back?" Wayne asked.

"No," Eddie said, and he flexed his raw hands. "I fell and cut my hands up on some glass. Princess's got some glass in her knees too."

"Why didn't you go to the hospital?" Wayne asked.

"As if we have the money for that," Eddie scoffed. "I'm fine, man, don't worry too much."

Wayne squinted as he grabbed at Eddie's chin, examining his face and nose from every angle, and he finally said, "Definitely looks broken. Just take it easy, kid, you'll be fine. The bruising'll go down and your nose'll heal."

"Thanks," Eddie said with a sniffle.

"Walk me through what happened," Wayne said. "You said it involves her?"

"Yeah," you mumbled. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, honey," Wayne told you quickly. "It wasn't your fault."

"It kinda was," you said.

"Oh, stop no, it wasn't," Eddie said softly, rubbing your leg, and he turned to Wayne. "You remember that guy I told you about, Steve? Well, he turned out to be a huge douchebag. He was touching her and kissing her, and she even slapped him and he wouldn't back off. So, I pulled him off of her and we ended up fighting and he threw a punch. He's got a really solid right hook, fuck."

"Did you fight back?" Wayne asked.

"I wanted to," Eddie said. "But my princess stopped me, she was crying and I realized that fighting would only make it worse. He's such a sack of shit anyway, he wasn't worth it."

Wayne looked at you for a moment, just long enough for you to start to feel small under his gaze, and he finally said, "Shit, honey, I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you doing alright?"

You nodded. "Still a little shaken up," you told him. "But I'll be okay."

"I'm glad," Wayne said. "How long have you two, uh, been together? Is that what you call it now? We always called it 'going steady' in my day."

You couldn't help but giggle at him, and Wayne smiled widely, good-naturedly. "About a month," you told him.

"How did you meet?" Wayne asked.

"Oh, well—" Eddie started.

"Let her tell the story, Ed," Wayne said gently, and you blushed hard at him. "Go on, honey."

"W-Well," you started. You weren't sure if Wayne knew about Eddie's whole weed dealing business, and you wanted to protect him just in case; that, and you didn't want to have to admit how naive you had been. "We go to school together and he— I went and talked to him one day about a month ago and we got along really well."

"That's nice," Wayne said. "And Ed's been a gentleman to you, right?"

You looked at Eddie with wide eyes, not entirely sure what to say, and Eddie answered for you. "Honestly, no, I haven't," he said. "I've been kinda a shitty boyfriend to her. We were just talking about it, and I'm gonna try to be better."

"You should," Wayne said. "I raised you better than to disrespect people."

"I know, man," Eddie mumbled. "I fucked up, but I'm gonna be better. I've gotta be better. For her." He wrapped a tight arm around you and kissed your head, and you snuggled close to his chest.

"I love you," you whispered to him, and you could have sworn that you felt him melt underneath you.

"I love you too, princess."

#bex answers #anon ask #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #perv!eddie #perv!eddie munson #perv!eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #tw innocent reader

[affixjoy]

Today I continued my Star Trek journey by rewatching Star Trek (2009) and boy howdy do I have some thoughts.

So first off, I saw this for the first time when I came out in 2009. It wasn’t my first experience with Star Trek, but it was probably my first with Kirk and Spock and that gang. I remember liking it a lot.

Now that I’ve watched all of TOS and a few of the movies with the original cast my feelings are a little more complicated.

Overall, fun movie! I imagine they had to have felt the weight of recasting and redoing such iconic characters, and in a lot of ways they succeeded. It certainly got younger people like me interested in the franchise!

💫 Spock: I do love this version of him. His “live long and prosper” to the VSA is perfectly bitchy and I’m obsessed with it.

💫BONES!! if you’ve read any of my other posts you’ll know that somehow Bones snuck up on me as my favorite character. I love his intro here, and I think Karl Urban gets the tone just right. This really is a buffet for the McKirkers out there, I can see how this led to 1000 academy era fics of them.

💫Kirk: oh Jim. Jimmy Jim Jim. Baby boy. What are you doing. How did being played by Chris Pine (who is incredibly hot) make you LESS attractive??

Obviously this Kirk suffers from some Kirk drift and the added trauma of losing his dad. He’s so much angrier, so much less sweet and nerdy. Rewatching this now I can see why I was so hesitant to like him in TOS because he’s a lot less lovable here.

💫 I get it’s an emergency and they had to for plot reasons, but almost all of Pike’s staffing choices make no sense. Sure, Spock as acting captain, I get that. But everyone else?? Imagine being one of the other people there who has been with starfleet for years and seeing him hand Kirk the role of first officer. The ship can’t be entirely cadets can it?? Imagine the group texts going around after like “thank god he didn’t die because I really need to bitch about this.”

💫 I love all three Uhuras (tos, aos, and snw) and I get why they made her Spock’s love interest here because they’ve got fun chemistry! They have a lot in common, they’re both hot and smart, I get it. But cmon guys, that man is a 6 on the Kinsey scale. You keep pairing him with women and it doesn’t work.

💫 I feel like they worked in lots of little references to classic trek, from plot stuff to smaller details like when Spock enters from the turbolift at the end in a very TMP way. I love that, it makes me feel like the people making the movie really care about the stories and the characters. When Spock Prime says good luck I felt all the weight of his relationship with his Jim and how it changed him. So lovely and touching.

And just how close they made Kirk and Spock stand, especially towards the end of the movie. They were always glued to each other in TOS and JJ must have known us Spirk shippers needed something to latch on to 😅

💫 There’s too much action in this movie for me. We didn’t need to see Scotty beamed into the water tank. The best sf stuff is always story based, I don’t need extravagant fights and cgi shit. I’m sure there are people who watch science fiction for the spectacle but I’m here for the ideas and the feelings.

💫 goddddd everything with Vulcan and losing Amanda. Rip all our hearts out why don’t you. Spock’s mom dying is just heartbreaking. I know they had to lose someone we knew to make the destruction of the planet more real to us as viewers but so crushing to see it.

💫 Old Spock 😭😭😭

He knows right away who Jim is and expects that Jim found him on purpose.

Old Spock just launched right in to the mind meld huh. To me this really says that he and his Jim are on very casual mind meld terms and he’s not fully understanding that this Jim is not his Jim.

Think about how fucking weird all this must be for old Spock. How heartbreakingly strange it would be so see a young version of your husband and send him to a young version of yourself. Meeting all your old friends young selves, years after you’ve lost them all.

And from here out it’s just miscellaneous thoughts I jotted down while watching that don’t fit great anywhere else:

⭐️I love when the redshirt is so excited to get the Romulans and Kirk gets this look like… that’s why you’re here? Dude the battle not the appeal here. A nice glimpse of how this Kirk is similar at heart to TOS Kirk.

⭐️Love you Sulu and your fencing skills

⭐️I love when they stop the lift for emotional reasons.

⭐️“Our destinies have changed” goddddd great speech Spock

⭐️Jim has the look of a man who is frequently escorted places by security

⭐️Spock wants to break Kirk so bad 😂

⭐️When Jim slaps Spock’s back and Spock has a look of “I think that just awakened something in me.”

⭐️Spock you’re calling him Jim already? You slut. (Delighted, affectionate)

Overall I think it’s a fun movie but it misses a lot of what’s at the heart of the classic Trek I love. They try to do everything too fast and it just doesn’t work as well for me. I’m excited to rewatch the next two and see how these versions of the characters change!

#spirk #star trek #james t kirk #spock #leonard mccoy #star trek 2009 #nyota uhura #not a bad movie! #but missing a lot of the vibes I love #I get why people love it and I get why people hate it. #mckirk

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

#ayearofwriting #2023 #aquiver-aglow #aberration of sunlight

[the0retically]

The Suckening #10: The Midnight Circle:

Holy shit y’all, what an episode

- These intros are so good

- MUSIC! Cannot wait for this to be released I love it so much

- Also the description? “The Kindred hit the books” noooo they’re so stupid :(

- The dancing imagery is so cool also the voice overlay? Love it

- ….shit Arthur wants to sacrifice more than the boys

- Oh emizel just chugged it

- Emizel is stardust???

- God shilo is the only one that’s like “hey wait let me wait a second”

- Emizel appearing in the sky like Mufasa??

- “Thanks guys I know the ending is a bit avant garde” CHARLIE PLEASE

- Emizel is gonna miss Theo’s birthday nooooo

- “I fear for this one” “we all do” “I don’t” :(( emizel

- ADHD EMIZEL!!!! “You don’t need it now, you’re a vampire. Just focus” ARTHUR PLEASE “I’m very out of touch”

- Love the similarities of this library and Finn’s library

- MONTAGE!!!

- GUN BOOK!!!!! Nice!!!

- Love how Shilo started as normal but the other two just did bits so bizly decided he was going to as well

- :( this conversation over trust is really interesting

- Lol love Charlie dying in the background at emizel asking if Arthur saw the Eiffel Tower while Shilo is berating him

- Oh shilo that was Interesting

- Arthur vs the twins is so interesting I like this conversation, it’s been needed

- :( “you see that in me?” ARTHUR NO SHILO ISNT LIKE EDWARD

- God Grizz is phenomenal, he is so good at this, this monologue is phenomenal

- The funky music coming back in after that argument oh my god

- …….Shilo’s old room :(

- “And you brood for a week” ARTHUR OH MY GOD

- Emizel coming from the top rope!!

- God the fact that Arthur’s younger siblings were twins and he has to be with shilo and emizel constantly has to be Gutting him

- :( shilo crying and hugging Arthur after he told them his past :((

- They’re understanding each other more!!

- “Oh really? I need help” ARTHUR OH MY GOD?

- “For what it’s worth I miss being human.” “Me too.” “I hate having to eat every night.” “Did you not have to eat as a human?” Started as so sad but then turned to the bit, love them

- “My idea is a haunted house and the information jumps out at you!” -Condi

Charlie proceeds to lose it “that’s crazy, that’s nuts, what the fuck??”

- LETS GO SHILO!!! 7!!!!! THIS IMAGERY IS SO COOL

- Brother bonding time let’s go??

- Oh?? Theo’s here??

- Aww they’re tutoring emizel

- Charlie is so done lol love this

- OH MONSTER ATTACKING SHILO

- YAY EMIZEL IS GOOD!!

- Love how crazy condi’s ideas have been

- IT WAS THE SHADE FROM DAY ONE!!!! Yes!!!! Emizel has proven himself

- MOONBEAST!!!!! CHARLIE BROUGHT IN THE MOON BEAST!!!!

- Oh Arthur is losing dominate,,,,interesting

- 16 moon points oh my god

- Oh god “in due time the moon beast will walk among us” Charlie please

- Nice Arthur love the black flame tattoos

- “Maybe you needed to get the shit beaten out of you” oh my god??

- Oh god emizel is alone and Condi is alone…….please be able to ask your question, very like the unseen one with these questions I like it

- “If I gave up one of my lives would that work” uh???? Emizel oh no

- PEPPERS IN THE BOWL HUH??

- “I don’t want to hurt pepper” “where do you think the nine lives are coming from” “I know but this is putting her in the bowl I don’t like that” :((

- WHY WAS EMIZEL THE ACCOUNTANT AT SCHOOL?????? Oh he’s forgetting about finance and the memory of his father,,,,,,,,oh god??

- ….makes sense that he loses a humanity for that

- God the editing for the questions being asked is so cool and these questions and answers are so cool

- :( the Queen wanted him safe

- Purple figure?? But younger??

- Arthur time

- ………Arthur giving up points in humanity

- YOURE THINKING OF SACRIFICING VOID??? GRIZZ PLEASE?

- …sacrifice his relationship with magnus maybe? Oh god

- THANK GOD HES NOT SACRIFICING VOID

- BUT DEAR GOD HES LOSING A LOT

- Oh god “grizzly there’s never been an ugly Grizzly character before. You give up being a hot vampire?” HED BE BROKE AND UGLY OH GOD GRIZZ NO

- ……….I’m so—oh he looked like his father and doesn’t anymore :(

- TWO SUCCESSES ON COURAGE LETS GO ARTHUR

- :( Arthur there’s no cure

- “Oh that’s a good one! You mother fucker!!” YEAH ARTHUR GET THE INFORMATION

- the music is so good cannot wait for the soundtrack

- Love the twins bickering while Arthur is panicking and breaking down a bit

- BIZLYS YELP OH MY GOD

- :(((((( Grizz isn’t playing a hot character anymore this is so—

- EMIZEL DOESNT WANT TO BE ALONE WITH ARTHUR OH MY GOD

- Love how it’s Gryffon’s voice now

- …..shilo what?? You’re giving up your sight?????? BRO WHAT?

- Bizly’s voice acting pop off bro but oh my god, he didn’t have to rip his own eye out??

- “Now I get a prize?” SHILO PLEASE??

- I cannot believe he actually just gave one of his eyes

- …….the eye only gave him one question

- “You see your mother again” “….mama” SHILO PLEASE IM GONNA CRY

- Oh hi Siri!! HA PLEASE HE WAS SO IMMERSED “god fucking damn it” oh my god that was perfect

- I’m so curious about this purple figure

- DRACULA IS HERE??

- Phone alarm?? It’s 1:15?? Why does bizly have a daily 1:15 alarm??? What??

- NOO EDWARDS FACE

- “Don’t suck me into the mouth” NOOOOO AWFUL

- ……why is Charlie giving edward a sad backstory

- Ok no this isn’t a sad backstory but oh my god what happened to him????

- HIS FACE IS STUCK LIKE THAT OH MY GOD??

- Uhhhhhh how did Edward see Shilo?

- “Stop looking at me, I’ll kill you.” ARTHUR PLEASE

- “I don’t think I’ll be spying anything with my little eye.” SHILO PLEASE

- OH GOD CONDI SAYING HE GAVE UP HIS TAX KNOWLEDGE PLEASE THE OTHER TWO GAVE UP SO MUCH

- “He’s ugly as hell he needs a robe” PLEASE

- “Someone’s gotta be the comedic relief these two are so serious all the time” EMIZEL

- ALSO OH MY GOD THAT WHOLE INTERACTION WAS INSANE

- Peppers name being Salem is so cute and she’s there!!

- “Soda was my dad” HUH?

- Emizel explaining his answers is so funny to me because it’s just batshit

- …………..is Dracula the twins actual dad? Is Jeffrey just a stand in?

- :( god poor Arthur

- Pleaseeeeee this conversation is killing me “Dracula was 2 million years old so you’ll grow into it” PLEASE IM CRYING THATS INSANE

- OH MY GOD????

- VEX AND VIV MENTION AHHHHHHHHH

- ……why are they suggesting Arthur goes to the Weylins to “fix his face”

- …….Grefgore has been alone for a month oh no!

- :(((((((((( void is hesitant at first with Arthur :(

- THEY BOTH ROLLED THREE WHAT???? NO NO NO EDWARDS HERE

- TEAM EDWARD SHIRTS???

- Emizel fumbled on stealth oh my god

- PLEASE EDWARD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

- What?? Edward has a sister??

- …..broadcasting what Edward?

- WHAT? WHAT WHAT GREFGORE????????

- He’s wearing a Walmart shirt?????

- I love shilo and Grefgore friendship :(((

- OH?? HUH WHO DID GREFGORE MET

- HE FOUND LOVE?? WHAT?????

- HES CALLING HER HIS QUEEN AWWW

- “Pretty plain looking girl” CHARLIE DONT BE MEAN TO HAZEL

- WHAT IS HAPPENING?????

- GREFGORE SHES HUMAN

- GREFGORE KEPT PICKLES!!!

- Please the conversation about Grefgore and hazel is so so funny

- OH MY GOD ALL THE PEOPLE SEEING ARTHUR AND JUST SCREAMING

- GREFGORE DONT PROPOSE TO HAZEL THATS NOT GONNA WORK

- A requirement to have a twi-phone??

- Hazel please why are you like this

- “I’d like to get a new house” THEYRE FINDING TAYLOR LAUNTER OH MY GOD???? THEYRE GOING TO CONVINCE HIM THAT THEYVE BEEN LIFE LONG FRIENDS???

- Love that they just really really want it to be Taylor Launter’s house

- NOOO ITS CLOSE TO EDWARDS

- Love how defeated Charlie is about making Taylor Launter canon

- I’m like trying not to cry from laughter

- HES HUMAN THOUGH

- “I look at him with my eye hole throbbing” bizly you could’ve said Anything different

- OH ITS TAYLOR LAUNTER THE WIFE NOT SHARKBOY

- BIG BRAIN CHARLIE SO BIG BRAIN

- IS TAYLOR A WEREWOLF AND HIS WIFE DOESNT KNOW

- OH GOD WHY DOES TAYLOR LAUNTER SOUND LIKE THAT

- HES HOLDING A BAT??

- WEREWOLF TAYLOR LAUNTER

- “Am I awake is this a dream dream dream dream dream dream dream” CHARLIE PLEASE

- “Is he a freak or is he actually a werewolf?” I DONT KNOW EITHER

- HE HAS A 9 FOR WILLPOWER

- CHARLIE PLEASE???

- Charlie cannot resist playing dogs

- Love that it’s Taylor Launter and Edward Twilight not Robert Pattinson

- Please roll well please let Taylor help

- OH MY GOD??? love how tired Taylor is about werewolf Taylor

- “We need Keanu”

- PLEASE IM CRYING FROM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD

- THEYRE JUST LEADING HIM TO EDWARDS OH MY GOD

- CHARLIE WHAT ARE THESE DOG NOISES

- This is absolutely crazy I love this oh my god??

#jrwi #jrwi thoughts #the suckening #emizel tucker #shilo bathory #arthur bennett #jrwi the suckening #just roll with it

[sungiesbabygirl]

summary : after your mother re-married, you find out that you have stepbrothers. Feeling odd feelings for them that no sibling should feel. It’s only a matter of time before they confess. Which one will it be first? - my imagination

warnings : step!cest, swearing, mutual pining, age gap (the boys are older by 2 years)

pairings : enha!0t7 x fem!reader

a/n : hey guys, I’m still writing these parts and I really do apologize if the chapter are short or don’t have enough detail. I’m trying my hardest, this is my first time in a while writing and it’s my first ever time making a multi series. Please be patient with the updates !!

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"Girl they both have a huge ass crush on you, but you are so dense to the point you can't see that! If I was you, my virginity would have been completely gone by the first 5 minutes of meeting them.", the annoying and dramatic voice of beomgyu said to me over the phone, his face plastered on my screen. Much to my dismay.

I let out a laugh adjusting my position on the bed, trying to get comfortable. "Gyu, their my step brothers and they are completely dicks to me for no reason whatsoever. It's like they have a vendetta against me. I mean my mother blamed me for the mess in the kitchen all because Jay told her I had done it, then Heeseung came in acting like the mess was his. He can't cook anything but ramen, I've seen him literally choke on a pepper that he tried eating."

It's silent for a few moments, beomgyu having to take in what I just said, before a loud hyena like laugh blew from my phone. My soul left my body for a second, a scream leaving my throat at the laugh that came out of no where.

"Jesus fucking Christ gyu, you scared the absolute shit out of me.", my hand instinctively holds onto my chest where my heart is, deep breaths leaving my lips as my phone continues to vibrate. I shake my head looking closer at the screen, seeing beomgyu in tears, thankfully his laughter was dying down.

My mouth opens to speak, quickly being cut off by a knock on my door. I turn my head to face the door now hearing beomgyu's laughter completely shut off his attention on me.

"Y/N? Are you in there?".

I stay frozen in my position as I hear the deep voice of the younger sibling, outside my door. "Yeah I'm in here Riki, what's wrong?". I sit up on my bed, facing my phone on its screen as the door starts to open.

Riki stands in the doorway, his body towering over my view of the wall that lay behind him. I look down at his outfit seeing he's in a white vest, a red plaid shirt and some baggy jeans. He looked so fine. Clearing his throat he walks over to my desk, taking a seat on my chair.

"Heeseung hyung told me what happened earlier, he said that he saved you from an even worse scolding than what you were getting.", I gulp down the little bit of saliva that was in my mouth, now feeling like the Sahara dessert rented out a place to stay.

I could see a smirk slowly makes its way to the edge of Ni-Ki's lips, my eyes squinting in confusion.

"He seemed to have fooled your mother, poor dense woman, we both know he can't cook.", with the smirk stitched to his lips, he stands up walking closer to the bed.

I back up as far as I can without having my back hit the wall, my eyes staring straight at his lips. It stayed silent for a few minutes, you could mentally hear a pin drop on the floor, before cold but large hands made their way up my sides.

"Lucky for you pretty girl, Heeseung seems to be infatuated with your presence. He wouldn't allow you to take a fall like that, especially not after your bitch of a mother believed jay over her own daughter.", a deep chuckle left his throat, pulling me closer to his body. My arms were frozen, like I couldn't move them at all no matter how hard I tried.

"Ni-ki.. what are you doing?", the pounding of my heart hammered against my ears, my hands moving to rest on his chest. I couldn't think of what to do in that moment, 'what the hell is going on'.

I was bought out of my thoughts by a soft breath hitting my lips. This couldn't be happening right now, I'm imagining everything right? My eyes ran from his eyes down to his lips, I wondered what it was like to have them on my own. They looked so plush.. so soft, so intoxicating.

I could feel my whole body get hotter, like someone had lit a fire nearby. Ni-Ki's hands stayed firmly against my hips, breath mixing with mine at how close together we was. This wasn't happening.. surely not?

The clearing of a throat made the both of us move away from each other, our heads quickly turning to the door. My face physically paled at the sight of jay, my eyes ran over his body, taking in the sight that I was seeing. He had on a black suit, the arm sleeves rolled up. I could see how his watch sat perfectly on his wrist, his hair slicked back, the front part of his hair out of place.

"What are you guys doing?", his voice was deep, I don't know how to describe it, but it made butterflies erupt in my stomach. Me and Ni-ki both looked at eachother, horror struck on our faces as Jay starts to walk into the room.

"I said what are you doing.", his words came out harsher, like he caught his own girlfriend cheating. "You know you aren't suppose to touch her Ni-Ki, at least not yet. It's Heeseungs orders."

My eyebrows furrowed as I look between the both of them. "Excuse me? Since when could Heeseung decide who I kiss or who kisses me." Moving to get off my bed, I grab hold of my phone seeing beomgyu had muted himself. My eyes stayed strained on the both of them, a scoff leaving my lips.

"Get out. Both of you get out.", I move over to my door, opening it wide enough for the both of them to fit. None of them made an attempt to move. "I said get the fuck out!", I could feel tears of frustration build up in the corner of my eyes, wondering why the hell this is happening to me. I knew it was wrong to feel things for my stepbrothers but they weren't related to me through blood.

My body instinctively moved out arms reach as Ni-Ki came towards me, jay trailing behind him. I couldn't even look at them, I felt a whole range of emotions that I had never felt before. It was only me and jay in the room now, Ni-Ki had left once I had stepped away from him.

"We're only doing what we were told princess.. we don't mean any harm but it will all make sense soon. Just please wait for us."

That was the last thing that was said before he walked out, the strong sent of his cologne filling my nostrils. As I closed the door, I could still feel the feeling of Ni-Ki’s hands on my hips, a feeling I wanted to experience more.

Grabbing my phone I quickly ended the call on beomgyu, not letting him say anything to me about what just happened. I felt embarrassed to say the least, embarrassed that he witnessed everything.

Laying on my bed had never felt so good, I needed a long nap after the bad karma that had happened to me today. I stared up at the ceiling, all my thoughts swarming my brain, making it hard to focus on anything else.

It didn't make sense what jay had said to me, probably because I wasn't in the right mindset to listen. All I knew is I had to get answers, I needed to ask the one person I knew that couldn't keep secrets.

Yang Jungwon.

——————————————————————————

#enhamfavl #kpop #enhypen #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop reader insert #enhypen masterlist #y/n x enhypen #female x enhypen

[maximoff-pan]

just here to peer pressure you even more into writing part 2 of steve and yn’s secret relationship!!!!!!

ummm, absolutely….I couldn’t resist ;)

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 2.2k

warning(s): fluffy goodness, slight sexual mentions... mike wheeler

a/n: hi everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone for the responses to the first part of this. I never thought it would become what it has. But I’m so grateful! Your feedback and comments mean the world, thank you, thank you, thank you! And I hope you enjoy this little sequel!!! <3

part one

• ж • ж •

“Fuck sakes man.” Mike snaps, looking down to his wrist signalling the time. “What are we waiting here for?”

It’s that kind of complaining that makes Mike your least favourite. You hate yourself for thinking that, but it’s kind of just how it is. Because you try so hard not to pick favourites; you guess he’s just done a good job of making sure he’s on the bottom of that definitely non-existent list.  

“Steve said they’d only be a minute or two.” Robin replies. Like Mike, she’s a tad antsy, but for a much different reason. She’s ever so curious as to what Steve had deemed was so important that he needed to gather everyone in his living room, on this very uneventful Saturday afternoon mind you, to tell them. 

She’s never been good at waiting. Evidently, neither has Mike, (as you’re becoming more and more aware). 

“A minute or two my ass…” He quips with a huff.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, because not only do you have it on good authority (from his mother no less) that he has nothing better to be doing, he’s not even wearing a watch. The impatient little bastard…he probably just came here to use the pool, you think.

“You know man,” Robin starts, gaze narrowing in on the younger Wheeler, “you’ve got a bit of an attitude problem.”

“Oh do I?” Mike’s tone is equally condescending. “I totally wasn’t aware.”

“Mike.” Nancy hisses from beside him. Jonathan is sitting on her other side, trying (and failing) to hide the bemused smile that’s sneaking onto his face. You can hear a couple hushed giggles make their way around the room, the kids thoroughly enjoying the back and forth between Robin and the Wheeler siblings. 

Mike shoots Nancy an intense glare, deep coffee orbs pouring with disinterest. He just wants to get out to the pool. 

When Steve finally enters the room, he looks utterly terrified. And it’s funny, because you’ve seen this man fight extraterrestrial beings, monsters people can only dream of, and this is the most scared you think you’ve ever seen him.  

Eddie saunters in behind him, grin shit eatingly cocky, as he takes a seat next to Max and Lucas on one of the Harrington’s many couches. You can only assume what they’d been talking about, hoping Eddie’s likely encouragement hadn’t been too much. Eddie has a bad habit of scaring people into not doing things, simply because his enthusiasm can be so off putting. 

In a sea of panic, Steve’s eyes find yours: ‘we doing this?’ they ask. They’re swimming in pools of fear. 

You smile with a gentle nod. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

For a second you think you see him relax a little, until your brief moment of reprieve is interrupted as El and Max simultaneously squeal, “C’mon!” They’re just as impatient as the rest of them. 

Robin agrees. “Yeah dude, dying with excitement over here.”

“Okay okay.” You hush everyone. Grasping Steve’s hand comfortingly, you lead him to the centre of the room. Standing in front of them, you take a moment to smile, nudging Steve in reassurance. 

You can feel the anticipation in the atmosphere, and a little something extra coming from Mike’s direction. Restlessness maybe, or agitation? Whatever it is, you can feel it brutally.    

“We’re–” he struggles, a lump catching in his throat. Steve knows that Eddie’s heart really is in the right place, but his gaze is anything but comforting. If the word eager had a face, it’d be Eddie’s, and it’s only making him more nervous. “We’ve got something to tell you.” He finally manages.

Mike groans. “We gathered that Captain Obvious.”

That earns another glare from Nancy, and a piercing stare from you. El almost whacks him with a magazine that’s laying on the coffee table. Powers or no, she’s entirely capable of putting him in his place. Because at this point, even she can see how anxious Steve is.

And quite frankly, no one enjoys seeing him this way, except for maybe Dustin (and Eddie). They’re so used to Steve being this rock, a playful and fun rock, but a rock nonetheless, that it’s strange to see him like this. 

“Woah dude!” Humour and sarcasm seep through Dustin’s voice as he directs his attention to Steve, trying to lighten the mood “You’re not gonna tell us you’re pregnant are you?”

Robin chokes out a laugh. “Could you imagine?” The pairs of eyes that turn to her are unsettling. She shrinks slightly at the attention, almost unsure of herself. “I mean, could you?

Jonathan chuckles at her drastic drop in confidence, joining in with a mocking look of horror on his face. “I don’t think I want to.” 

“Oh I do.” Is exactly the response you expected to come from Eddie. He looks proud of it too. 

“Eddie.” Max recoils. “You’re a freak.”

A smug smile quirks his lips upward. With a hand to his chest, he accepts it as praise saying, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 

You can sense the apprehension growing on Steve’s end. Usually he’d be eating this banter up, joining in and rousing everyone up. But he’s completely silent, having nearly turtled in on himself. 

“Guys.” You interrupt firmly. “As much fun as this is…” You trail, your implication obvious. 

If Steve hadn’t been so adamant about being the one to tell them about the two of you, you easily would have done it by now. But you want to respect his wishes. So you’re going to let him do it, no matter how long it takes. 

“Go ahead Steve.” Nancy encourages him, a soft, sweet, and knowing smile on her lips.  

“Okay, yeah, um. We’re uh–” Steve clears his throat with an apprehensive pause, “we’re together.” He says. 

Now that he’s said it, the reality of it sets in, your nerves spiking. You hadn’t been worried until now.

His arms do this awkward gesture, a half flail, half choppy, chaotic swing. It totally would’ve made you laugh if you weren’t so nervous yourself. Had Steve’s living room always been this small?

Your gaze drifts, allowing yourself to look up. There’s a collection of different reactions forming on the faces of the people before you. A couple of them look knowing, (Nancy and Jonathan for sure) as if they’d been predicting this for some time now, and honestly…that’s fair. It’s not like you and Steve hadn’t been pining over each other for a couple of years or something…

Those reactions aren’t surprising. It’s the unreadable expressions on Dustin and Mike’s faces that get you. Irritable and fucking annoying Mike…of course he’d be the one to throw you a curveball.

“Like, together together?” Mike’s question catches you off guard.

You nod, confirming his inquiry. “Yes.” There’s a hesitance to your tone; you’re not sure what they’re thinking. 

Urgently, Dustin jumps in. “Since when?” 

“What?” Steve asks. He’s not confused by the line of questioning; it makes sense that he’d be curious. It’s the urgency with which he’s demanding an answer that has him puzzled.

“Answer the question Harrington.” Lucas implores. The silence is deafening.

“How long?” Dustin repeats with more vigour. Steve feels stuck. He doesn’t answer, afraid he’ll fumble. 

“Jesus Christ.” Mike huffs. He looks just as desperate. You’d think they had money on the line…

Ohhhh, you see now. A smug quirk of your lips tells them you know.

“(Y/n), how long?” Dustin turns his gaze to you. This is quite amusing to watch. 

You contemplate not telling them, because watching them squirm is really really fun, but instead you’re quick to answer, more curious as to who’s going to win. “Six months.” Is your reply.

Mike and Dustin both let out groans of defeat. “Fucking shit.” Mike says.

“You’re telling me I was one month off?” Dustin whines. “C’mon guys that’s gotta count for something!”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Lucas counters. “Will had six months. Therefore, he wins.”

Jonathan turns to his brother with a smile. “You guys had a bet? And you won?”

Will nods with a shrug. “I’m good at noticing things.”

His response is nonchalant, humble, and unassuming, much like him. It makes you proud to know that he cared to notice the little things between you and Steve, enough to pinpoint exactly when your relationship started.  

“Damn.” Eddie’s voice cuts through the discourse of the group, effectively shutting everyone up. “I really thought I was the only one who knew.”

Steve chuckles softly, showing signs of relief for the first time this afternoon. “I did too.” He says to Eddie. “Honestly, when you asked me how long we’d been — you know” he gestures semi-crudely, and despite trying to be subtle, his implication is pretty clear to everyone, “my heart almost jumped out of my chest.”

“Hold on.” You interrupt, skipping past the part where Eddie asked how long you and Steve had been having sex, because of course he did... (that’s an adventure for another day). “Did any of you not know?”

Robin raises her hand sheepishly. “I didn’t.” She says. “But in my defence, I can barely focus on anything for more than thirty seconds.” 

“I also didn’t.” Max adds. “And I have no excuse. I guess I just gave up hoping it would ever happen.”

Ouch… 

“I had no idea.” El’s tone is the same brutally honest one that you’ve come to love. “If I did, I would have said something.” That’s definitely true. 

Your gaze drifts over to the older teen couple, tilting your head slightly for an answer.

“I’m pretty aloof.” Jonathan smiles, “but I had an inkling.”

Nancy snorts. “Yeah, my inkling.”

Your face breaks into a smile. They complement each other perfectly.

Immense chatter emerges amongst the group, from Mike chastising El for not knowing, to Lucas teasing Max for being woefully unaware (which earns him a swift smack). And then there’s the pride on Jonathan’s face that Will won the bet (and Nancy’s smugness that Mike didn’t). It’s cute to watch everyone so animated, debating over when they knew, and how. The common theme being, it was bound to happen eventually. 

“Feeling better about it?” You sweetly ask Steve.

He lets out a laugh. It’s relaxed, the kind that makes your heart flutter. “Yeah.” He replies. “I’m not sure why I was so worried.”

“Because,” you drag the word slowly and teasingly. “You love them. And you care what they think.”

Steve’s cheeks warm at the thought. Despite them being the biggest pains in the ass the majority of the time, he does love them, with everything he has. Sheepishly, with a hand rubbing at the back of his neck he says, “’Suppose so.” He gives you a tired grin, with a mocking sense of warning... “but please don’t tell them that. I can’t have them thinking I care about them too much, or I’ll have no control over them.”

You chuckle. “Like you have any control over them now.”

“Hey!” He swats in offence. “I’ll have you know that Will listens to me all the time.”

“That’s because Will is just about the most well behaved kid this planet has ever seen.” You say. “I wouldn’t exactly call that an accomplishment.”

You both watch as Will excitedly giggles, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas handing him the money they owe him. It’s cute, very wholesome.

On that note, you pause, thinking aloud, “I’m a little surprised Robin didn’t know.”

Steve scoffs. “Really? She’s too preoccupied with Vickie to notice anyone else.”

“Oh, you’re definitely right.” You laugh at the realization. Vickie really had consumed Robin’s every waking thought. But you’re happy for her.

“Say that again.” Steve’s voice is low and smug, damn him for being so charismatic. 

You decide to play into his game. It’s not like he gets to hear it very often. Mimicking his sultry tone, you whisper, “You’re right.” 

He revels in it, a soothing silence settling between you, as the booming of voices continue floating throughout the room. 

You and Steve allow yourselves a moment to bask in it, as you lean back into his chest. He wraps his arms around you, draping his hands to clasp yours. You can feel his breathing, steady and calm, and you’re sure he can feel yours. Despite the chaotic mingling of nine voices it still feels peaceful. 

The uncharacteristically quiet tenth voice however, makes its way over to you, grin wide and extra toothy.

“So...” Eddie’s tone drips like honey as he approaches. He likes seeing you two like this, happy and in love.

You can hear the smirk in his voice, his amber eyes piercing into yours and Steve’s like a man who’s never been more satisfied in his life. In his mind, this was his discovery after all (even if most of the kids, and Nancy had known for a long time)...

But that’s besides the point. This was his, and no one is going to tell him otherwise. 

Deep brown orbs twinkling, he leans in to say, “Guess we know how long you two have been fucking.”

If it had have come from anyone else, you might have been more shocked. But it’s Eddie, so you’re not. You and Steve hum together in contentment, dopey smiles resting on your faces.

Guess we do...

• ж • ж • ж • ж •

tags: @shireentapestry @shortstoriesbyher @the-empress-of-sass @freezaz123 @damon-loves-pie @justmesadgirl @thepineapplesimp @murdockluvrr @siriusfahey @selfdeprecatingnerd @leilatremblay15 @mama-miya @sigh-mon-says @scoopsr0bin

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #stranger things x reader #stranger thing imagine #stranger things imagines

[sasukesgucciflops]

Here I am back on my John Marston BS.

I pointed this out before ab how ppl loved calling John “watered down” but I’m also seeing people forget that he was also put on a very high fucking pedestal and had no idea how to handle it. In other words; he was the gifted kid who got burnt out after everyone expected everything from him. John never expected to be seen as such. He actually preferred to not be held to such a degree. I’m sick and tired of people feeding into the “John’s a golden boy” “John’s a piece of shit” narrative. Clearly these people have only seen RDR2 and have no clue about everything in RDR1 and yes I’m giving an attitude so y’all better catch it.

Here’s my John Marston character analysis and this is only about one aspect of him. (Wait until you see every other aspect bc I’ve literally dissected this man like a frog oops)

He never fucking asked for it. In fact, he didn’t expect jack shit from anybody. If anything, people used him. People used him up. You see it plainly in rdr1, he’s being used to hunt down his old partners. To find his old partners he’s gotta ask the sheriff, what does the sheriff do? He uses him to handle some lowlife gangs around the county. The sheriff ACCIDENTALLY—not even voluntarily—reveals someone that ends up somewhat helping him out. West Dickens—and what does he do? Uses him. Seth? Uses him. Travels over to another country, what do they do? USE HIM!

Okay, so rdr2—if you couldn’t get the picture already—John was one of Dutch’s MAIN PAWNS. That man raised John to USE HIM. John was young and had lots of energy and he was gullible enough to let Dutch do whatever with his naivety. The most fucked up thing about all of it, not only about how (almost) everyone saw him as a pawn, not as a genuine friend, saw him only for his uses;

John didn’t care. He knew he was being used but he didn’t care. Yes it bothers him and again he’s fully aware he’s being ran around in circles by all these people; it doesn’t matter. He sees himself as someone who is replaceable. He’s expendable. It’s whatever. He was always made to think this and perhaps he knew that it was his fate to be all used up and thrown out like it was nothing. And that’s what ended up happening.

No, he wasn’t a perfect father. He SHOULDVE done much much better about that. Just for that I let anti’s breathe a little because in Jack’s younger years, hell no John wasn’t a good father! John was in denial, busy trying to live up to his dreams of being someone he isn’t. On that note, John slowly realized that Abigail and Jack were probably the only ones that didn’t see him as a pawn; they just wanted him to be present and that causes him to do a 180. To him, it was worth dying for them. Maybe he felt as if he owed them a debt that could never be repayed—it’s almost like he expresses this to Jack a dozen different times. “I’m sorry, Son. I’m not going anywhere.” And “I know I wasn’t around a lot for you but I’m trying to make up for that”. He becomes viscerally aware of the damage of his absence (as he should) and it becomes something he fears he’ll never get to make up for.

Abigail never wanted to use him. She just wanted HIM. Jack—OF COURSE never wanted to use him, he wanted a FATHER. Honorable mention, but Arthur never saw him as a pawn either. In fact, he was well aware of how John was being treated, even mentioning it to him canonically, along the lines of, and I’m loosely quoting this, “At first you’ll be a prize pony until you become a work horse”. These people become so important to John—among others such as Bonnie, Charles, Sadie, even Uncle—because they never tried to use. him. John was more than expendable to them, he was worth something to them and for that he loved them and felt as if he would owe them for eternity.

I truly can’t believe some of y’all completely miss that whole point because it’s written EVERYWHERE it’s literally how John’s story goes and we experience it with him. His story is so fucking tragic and yes, while Arthur was the prime example of “having a doomed narrative from the start”, people don’t talk about how John is literally in the same boat. That man was always doomed, by his friends, the people he would try to call family—he was raised all the way up just to be put down…. THAT’S the story of John fucking Marston.

#sry Dutch Stan’s I didn’t even mean to shit on him like that I actually love y’all #I saw a post saying wild shit ab John and I just had to clear the air #John anti’s dni #number 1 John Marston defender and protector beside Arthur Morgan #john marston #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption #text #character analysis