#not really but I will be SO sad at some point this fall or winter

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 6. the fight

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Word of Joel's indiscretion spreads quickly through town, leading to a vicious fight. When Joel begins to worry you may never forgive him, he sets into motion a plan to win you back.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, pining, sad!Joel, amnesia, slow burn, previous infidelity mentioned, violence (fist fight), blood, bruises, jealousy/possessiveness

WC: 8K

Series Masterlist

The thought of leaving your bed was excruciating.

For nearly three days, you could hardly do much more than use the bathroom and drink some water. When you heard Joel leave for patrol, his footsteps always pausing hesitantly on the other side of your door before begrudgingly going down the steps, you would eventually drag yourself downstairs and force yourself to eat something. Anything. It didn't really matter. You didn't crave anything. Didn't look forward to a single thing except the sweet embrace of sleep. But by the fourth day, you knew you would have to go back to work or else Nick would make a house call to check on you.

You had lied and said you hurt your back so you could get out of working for a few days, but enough time had passed, enough tears were shed, enough pity was wasted when you finally forced yourself to get up one morning and take a shower.

It helped more than you thought it would. The steam billowing around you in the confined space, the warm water pummeling your shoulders, working out the kinks in your muscles from too many hours hunched over in agony. If you had any self-awareness, you might have asked yourself why you had such a powerful reaction to Joel kissing someone else. If you had a clear enough mind, you might have remembered you didn't even react this badly when you woke from your accident only to discover your whole family was dead and the world went to hell.

No, you only seemed to fall into a deep depression over Joel finding comfort from another woman.

And not just any woman. Angie.

It still made your blood boil as you slipped on clean clothes for work. You should have known she was a shark, smelling blood in the water that very first night when she cornered you in the bathroom.

And to make matters worse, he had the audacity to accuse you of not caring. Not giving a shit about him, to be exact.

That fucking asshole.

When you came down the stairs and spotted the coffee maker still on with your favorite mug next to the carafe, you scoffed and kept walking to grab your coat. As much as you wanted some coffee, you were too stubborn to accept Joel's shitty gesture.

The winter sun was blinding against the snow. Or maybe your eyes were just too swollen and dry, too accustomed to staying in the darkness of your bedroom for days on end, but whatever it was caused you to wince and rub your face.

"Hey! You're alive!" you heard Ellie's voice call out from the driveway. She was walking up the path at the exact same time as you with her backpack slung over one shoulder and her winter jacket unzipped.

"Yeah, barely," you replied, wishing you had some of the coffee Joel had left behind. You took the porch steps carefully and met her out on the sidewalk, your pupils finally adjusting to the brightness. "How's it going, kid?"

She opened her mouth to reply but paused, giving you a funny look.

"What's wrong?" you asked, unable to read her expression.

"Nothing, just that nickname... took me by surprise," she laughed with a shake of her head, "you used to call me that before. Haven't heard it in a long time, I guess." You shielded your eyes and shrugged.

"Common nickname, I suppose," you reasoned, and she nodded in agreement.

"How's the back?" she asked with a point, and you almost had to ask her what she was talking about before you remembered your lie.

"Oh! Much better, thanks. Must've pulled a muscle or something, who knows."

"Well, that's good. Listen, I gotta get to school, but do you wanna get dinner later with me and Dina? Seth's making mac and cheese, and it's like, the fucking best, dude," she said excitedly, and you didn't have the heart to say no.

"Yeah, sounds great," you smiled, then gave her a quick wave before heading in the opposite direction towards the infirmary.

It was only a short ten minute walk to work, but the fresh air combined with stretching your muscles for the first time in days really did something to improve your mood. By the time you pushed open the door to the infirmary, you were actually looking forward to working again.

And so was Nick, apparently, because his eyes lit up and his body sagged with relief when he saw you.

"I was a few hours away from sneaking you the good pills and begging you to come back," he joked, then his face turned serious. "Everything alright? What happened?"

"Oh, I'm fine," you said, waving off his concern, "I slipped on some ice and pulled a muscle, it's all good now."

"Well, be careful out there, alright? You're the best aide I have."

"I'm the only aide you have," you corrected him before hanging up your jacket. "What do you need me to do?"

The morning went by fast. Nick had told you in the few days you were out, the clinic wasn't terribly busy, but he unfortunately did fall behind on housekeeping. So you busied yourself running loads of sheets and blankets to the laundry, then sanitizing equipment until Mr. Phillips came in after lunch with a laceration on his arm from working in the stables. It wasn't a bad injury, but it required some cleaning and a few stitches, which you were secretly eager to observe. You wanted to get more exposure to stitching in the hopes of being able to take care of non-emergency injuries by yourself one day.

It felt good to feel useful again. Staying busy forced your mind off Joel and the whole mess waiting for you at home, and you were grateful for the distraction. So much so that you decided to stay a little longer than usual and fold the linens that came back from the laundry. You were killing two birds with one stone: staying busy and avoiding going home in between work and dinner. By now, you knew he'd be back and likely waiting for you, and you still had no idea what you would say.

As the sun began to set and the world outside the infirmary grew darker, you slid your coat back on and locked the door behind you before heading for the dining hall.

Shoving your hands deep into your pockets, you tucked your chin against your chest, feet carrying you swiftly through the streets, eyes cast down and avoiding others as best you could. When you arrived at the dining hall, it was packed, per usual, but you did manage to spot Ellie and Dina holding a small table in the back of the room. As you weaved your way through the crowd, you noticed they were sharing some bread and butter and you felt your stomach rumble. For the first time in days, you felt excited to eat.

"Hey," you said in greeting as you dropped your coat over the back of an empty chair before giving them each a half hug. "Freezing out there."

"Give it a second. It's hotter than hell in here," Dina joked before pushing the basket of bread in your direction. You plopped down into your chair and moaned when you felt the bread was still warm, then tore off little pieces and popped them into your mouth.

"Hungry?" Ellie asked, only partially joking as you nodded vigorously.

"Did you order the mac and cheese yet?"

"Yeah, didn't want him to run out," she replied as she eased back into her chair and turned her head toward Dina. "Do you see Chris and Holly over there? What are they thinking? They know that shit'll get back to Claire. What a bunch of assholes."

"Who?" you asked, your voice muffled around the bread.

"Couple of kids in our class," Dina explained, nodding towards the other side of the hall. You twisted around, your eyes scanning the crowd until you saw a younger couple sitting together, the girl sitting on the guy's lap and toying with his hair. "That's Chris, and he's been dating this girl, Claire, for like, what? Six months or so? And look at him. Letting that hussy crawl all over him. Men are pigs."

You choked on your laughter and took a swig of water. If only they knew.

Ellie's eyes lit up as she looked at something behind you, and you turned around to follow her gaze, spotting Seth as he made his way through the crowd with three plates of mac and cheese. However, just over his left shoulder you happened to notice Joel for the first time since you arrived, but by the looks of it, it was not the first time he noticed you.

He was sitting at his usual table with Tommy and another guy from patrol you vaguely recognized, the other two men engrossed in conversation while Joel pinned you with his stare. You quickly turned away, your cheeks feeling flush, and tried to focus on your dinner.

"Shit, this looks amazing," you said, distracted by the cheesy, piping hot dish set in front of you.

"I'm telling you, man, it's the fucking best," Ellie told you before digging in. You had to stifle a moan when the food hit your tongue for the first time, eternally grateful for the impeccable timing because all you could think about in that moment was how good it tasted, Joel temporarily forgotten for the first time in days.

"Didn't you eat today?" Dina asked, her lips twitching into a grin, and you shook your head.

"Not really. Haven't had much of an appetite this week," you told her, and Ellie tilted her head to the side.

"Your pain was that bad?"

"Huh?" you asked, then it dawned on you once again. The Lie. "Oh, yeah. I mean, I ate a little, I just wanted to sleep, I guess."

"Joel didn't make sure you ate?" she pressed, her eyes flicking over your shoulder. You dropped your fork, scrambling to come up with yet another lie when her brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed, making you twist around to see what made her demeanor change so suddenly.

As you expected, she was looking in Joel's direction, but he was no longer looking at your table. It was impossible considering Angie was standing directly in front of him, blocking his view with her body, her hand resting on the back of his chair.

"What is she up to now?" Dina murmured to Ellie, but you could hardly register her words. The way your anger ignited deep within your chest and licked up your throat, it was a miracle you even remembered to breathe. Joel's legs shifted, knees turned away from her, but that was all you could see. You couldn't see the look on his face or hear what was said. You couldn't see where his hands were. But you could see Angie flick her long, straight hair over her shoulder with a flirty laugh that was clearly meant to pull attention onto her.

If you didn't have tunnel vision, you would have noticed she was successful. A few heads turned, men's eyes lingering on her backside while women's eyes darted in your direction, but you were incapable of processing any of it. Ellie was saying your name, but you couldn't hear her over the ringing in your ears.

It was less than a minute. Thirty seconds, tops, and she walked away from him with a sickly grin plastered across her face, her two friends returning her mischievous smile before flanking her side, making their way towards the exit like a swarm of bees.

Without even thinking, you stood up.

"What are you doing?" Ellie asked, but you ignored her. Instead, you pushed your way through the crowd in a trance, shouldering people out of your way without so much as an apology, too laser focused on your target to care.

"Joel!" Ellie called out to him. He was rubbing his face angrily, trying to avoid his brother's eyes glaring at him in disbelief over what he just overheard Angie say when he heard Ellie. Great, she knows, too, he initially thought, but when he looked up and saw Ellie and Dina, panic-stricken, making their way towards the exit, he realized something was happening. He didn't see you until you emerged from the crowd and reached for the door, swinging it open and allowing a cool blast of air into the room before disappearing outside.

"Oh, shit," Joel mumbled, snatching his coat and forcing his way through all the people as quickly as he could. Tommy followed, confused at first, until he realized you were no longer at your table and then it clicked.

By the time you made it outside, you nearly missed where they went, but luck was on your side because her high-pitched giggle danced through the bitter cold air and you twisted your head to the left, just in time to see the three women in the shadow of night round a corner and head down a residential street.

You were nearly running to catch up with them, but you couldn't feel your feet hit the ground or hear the gravel crunching under your boots. And neither did they, because when you found yourself less than ten feet away, they were still giggling and talking animatedly amongst themselves, completely oblivious to your presence.

Skidding to a stop, you shouted, "Hey!"

All three women swirled around in surprise, their eyes wide and their smiles slipping from their faces when they sensed the rage radiating from your body. But even still, Angie tried to play dumb.

"Can we help you?" she asked sarcastically with a dry laugh, but when you took a step forward, she went quiet.

"Yeah," you sneered, fists clenching at your sides, "I had a question for you, actually."

Angie looked perplexed, not expecting that, so she held her hands out to her side, urging you to continue while Ellie and Dina caught up, standing a few paces back.

"Did you run out of dick to suck in this town or are you just that fucking bored you thought you'd give home wrecking a try?"

Dina snickered behind you and Ellie gasped.

"Home wrecking?" she replied, raising her eyebrow and crossing her arms. "Is that what you'd call your man following me into the ladies room at the bar so he could shove his tongue down my throat?"

Your nostrils flared and your ears began to make that buzzing noise again, so you dug your nails into your palms, desperately trying to ground yourself.

"Can I even call him your man?" she taunted, feeling like she got the upper hand. "Are you even together anymore? You clearly don't fuck him if he was looking for it from-"

You couldn't even remember moving. Your feet had a mind of their own as you closed the distance between you with two long strides and swung your arm back with as much force as you could muster, backhanding Angie right across the mouth.

Her hands flew up to her face and her two friends stumbled backwards in surprise, but all you saw was red. Before she could recover, you grabbed her by the coat and threw her down onto the muddy street, knocking the wind out of her with a sharp gasp. Quickly, before she could get up, you straddled her midsection. With your left hand pressing down on her chest and your right balled into a fist near your head, you landed a punch right on her perfect little nose with a sickening crunch, causing a trail of blood to trickle out of her nostrils seconds later. But that didn't stop you. You kept going, your knuckles, now bloody, marring her flesh over and over again, but when you made contact with her jawbone, you flinched, a jolt of pain shooting down your middle finger making you pause.

That was when Angie saw her opportunity.

She vaulted you off her with her hips and she rolled to her side, pinning you to the ground with blood dripping down her face. She scratched desperately at your eyes and mouth, your hands coming up to protect yourself with a yelp, before she began landing weak punches against your cheek and mouth. And even though they weren't as forceful as your hits, her weight pinning you down kept you from reclaiming the upper hand.

Ellie and Dina were shouting your name, but you tuned them out. All you could focus on was Angie, blocking her punches as best you could while you waited for your opportunity to take her down.

Then, Angie's hand wrapped around your throat, her fingers pressing into your windpipe. Your hands grabbed her wrist as you fought for air and violently thrashed underneath her.

"Face it," she hissed, leaning down and putting more pressure against your throat, "If it was that easy, I was doing you a favor. He never really loved you, you were just an easy fuck before your brain got all scrambled."

Her words were exactly what you needed to get your second wind.

With an angry roar, you punched her right in the throat, and although you couldn't get much force behind it, it was enough to make her loosen her grip in surprise. And just as Tommy and Joel were running up the street, you tossed Angie to the side and scrambled back on top of her. But this time, you didn't stop.

You were merciless, your hands were a blur. Fists rained down blows upon her face while she desperately tried to shield herself, but it was no use.

"Stop!" she sobbed, begging, but the fear in her voice just egged you on.

Blood began to stain her yellow hair, her perfect skin began to turn red and purple while your fists never stopped, each blow creating a new mark or cut. You couldn't stop if you tried. Something snapped and you unlocked a part of yourself you didn't know, or didn't remember, existed. Some part of you that was a warrior. A fighter. A survivor. And it wasn't until Joel hooked his arms underneath yours and hauled you back that you finally stopped, your chest heaving and your eyes wild.

"Y-you crazy b-bitch!" Angie sputtered, blood trickling from her nose and mouth as Tommy knelt in front of her.

"You haven't seen crazy!" you screamed as you kicked and struggled to get out of Joel's grip. Tommy reached down to help Angie up and he motioned for her friends to come forward. "Stay the fuck away from us or I'll fucking kill you!" you shouted, "You hear me, you fucking whore? I will fucking kill you!"

"Calm down!" Joel yelled from behind, but your blood boiled as you focused your rage on him.

"Get your fucking hands off me," you snarled, wrenching your arms out of his grasp. "This is your fault!" you continued, pointing your finger in his face and backing away, ignoring the tortured look he gave you. A sick part of you was pleased to see the sting of your words land.

"I think she needs to see Nick," Tommy said as both of Angie's friends struggled to help her up.

"She's lucky she's alive," you snapped as you wiped the back of your hand over your bloody face.

"Holy shit, dude," Ellie murmured as you turned around, her eyes all wide with shock.

"I'm going home," you grumbled, wiping more blood from your cheek as you began the journey back to your house on shaky legs, wondering how on earth you were expected to share a space with Joel after tonight. Dina and Ellie exchanged some quick words as you left before Ellie quickly caught up with you.

"I'll clean you up."

"You don't-"

"I know. But I want to," she said, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, and it took everything in you not to lean into her and let her drag you home.

You were exhausted. Mentally and physically. And you just wanted to go to bed. But you were grateful for Ellie. Someone who cared, someone who saw you were hurting and needed help without having to ask for it. So you let her clean you up in your bathroom when you arrived back home, her nimble fingers delicately pressing against your wounds, cleansing them as best she could before pressing band aids and butterfly bandages against your cuts and then making you an ice pack to help with the swelling.

She tucked you into bed and made you drink some water before sitting down on the edge of your mattress with a sigh.

"I had no idea," she began, and you quickly waved her off.

"I know. It's... I know," you said, at a loss for words.

"You didn't really hurt your back, did you?" she asked, and you slowly shook your head. "That motherfucker," she seethed, "I can't believe him, I'm going to kill him, I swear-"

"Just leave him alone," you told her, "Let me handle it."

The two of you sat quietly for a moment, each of you lost in your own thoughts before she spoke again.

"It wasn't like that before," she began, and at first you weren't following, but then you realized: she was talking about before your accident. "You were crazy about each other. Angie was never an issue. Neither of you paid her any attention. She just saw an opportunity and took advantage," Ellie said as her fingers tangled in her lap. "I shouldn't even be saying this, it feels like I'm defending him, but I swear. I was with you guys all the time. You were in love, man."

"Things changed, I guess," you said sadly, but she shook her head.

"You guys are what inspired me and Dina to go for it," she said softly, avoiding your gaze. "We were scared, but I saw how you two were together and how you made it work and, I don't know," she said, picking at her fingernail, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I look up to you guys. And it's kind of fucking with my head right now that all this is happening."

"Ellie, no," you said, shifting a bit in bed and reaching out to her. "Don't say that. Don't question what you and Dina have because of me and Joel."

She swallowed and looked at you, her eyes soft and worried.

"Why did he do it?" she asked quietly, and you could hear the pain in her voice. Pressing your lips together, you shrugged.

"It's complicated."

She nodded and looked away. "Will you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Would you give him a chance? Just hear him out and let him explain?" she begged, and you immediately bristled. "You don't have to forgive him. Just... don't give up yet. Please. He loves you, I know it, and... and I think you love him, too."

You scoffed then cleared your throat, your fingers coming up to press gently on your tender neck. "I don't love him," you croaked, but she shook her head.

"If you don't love him then why do you care so much?" she countered, and you fell silent, unable to give her an answer, eyes drifting aimlessly around the room. "Why did you almost kill Angie for sleeping with him if you didn't love him?"

"Sleeping with - no, Ellie. They didn't have sex. He kissed her," you quickly explained, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You rearranged her face because he kissed her?" she asked in disbelief, then laughed softly and stood up. "I'm not saying he didn't fuck up, but dude. Come on. You gotta see it, now, right?"

You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes.

"Alright. For you, I'll... talk to him, or whatever," you grumbled half-heartedly.

"Thank you," she said, her voice sounding more like herself once again before turning to leave and allowing you to rest. If you had any inkling she was trying to manipulate you into forgiving Joel, it was quickly expunged because you awoke an hour later to her arguing with him in the living room when he arrived home, the conversation ending with her storming out of the house and then his weary footsteps slowly climbing up the stairs.

Once again, you watched as he paused outside your room, two narrow shadows cast by his legs breaking up the thin beam of light under your door until he thought better of it and kept walking, his own bedroom door closing softly with a click.

The pain was worse the next morning, but you refused to admit it. The cuts burned and the bruises throbbed, but you were too stubborn to let any weakness show, although one look at your bruised neck would tell anyone the truth. You forced yourself out of bed, feeling too guilty to bail on Nick after already taking so many days off to wallow in your own misery, and washed up before heading downstairs. Much to your surprise, Joel was sitting at the kitchen table, his big hand cupping a mug of coffee while he stared blankly at the wall, lost in his own thoughts. When you first saw his face, the bags under his eyes evident, even from across the room, it was clear he hardly got any sleep.

Good, you thought. Then you remembered your promise to Ellie and bit back whatever nasty remark you were getting ready to toss his way. Instead, you dragged yourself to the coffee maker, ignoring the mug Joel left out for you and choosing your own, unable to resist the urge to be just a little bit spiteful.

He cleared his throat as you poured your coffee, a warning he was about to speak, and your shoulders tensed.

"How're you feelin'?"

"About as good as I look," you muttered, bringing the coffee to your lips and taking a tiny sip before turning around. He looked up at you, for the first time seeing the extent of your injuries and he jolted forward in his chair, fighting back the instinct to stand up and inspect your wounds. He blinked rapidly, gaze skirting over your face and neck, worry etching his features until you sighed.

"It's not really that bad," you admitted, looking down at your feet.

"Tell Nick t'give you somethin' when you get to work," he said, voice strained. You nodded and took another sip of your coffee. He swallowed nervously before inching forward in his chair and clasping his hands between his knees. "I'm sorry," he said, the words laced with guilt and shame. "I'm so sorry, I fucked up. But you gotta believe me, I didn't go out that night lookin' for her or anyone else. I just wanted to drink and be alone for a little while." He rubbed his palms over his face while you still stared down at the floor, listening.

"I believe you," you finally said after a tense stretch of silence. He dropped his hands and looked up.

"You do?"

"Doesn't mean I forgive you, but I believe you didn't run out of here looking to shove your tongue down someone else's throat."

He grimaced and dropped his chin to his chest.

"D'you think-" he cut himself off and took a deep breath before forcing himself to look at you again. "D'you think you could ever forgive me?"

You closed your eyes and pressed your lips into a thin line.

"I don't know," you said quietly. Your head was pounding, so you rubbed your forehead, his eyes trained on you anxiously from across the room, knee bouncing slightly as he waited to hear you say anything that would give him a glimmer of hope. "You really fucking hurt me, Joel," you said, trying to hide your lower lip as it trembled, but he heard the pain in your voice and it broke his heart.

"I know, I'm an asshole and I don't deserve you. I never did. Not after what happened at the hospital and definitely not now," he said, standing up and taking a few hesitant steps in your direction, stopping when he reached the kitchen island. "But I'll do whatever it takes. I'll wait as long as I need to, I'll spend the rest of my life makin' it up to you, prove to you that-"

"I don't want to lead you on, Joel," you said solemnly, eyes watering. "I can't promise I'll ever move past it. I'm not sure we're strong enough to get through this."

"Yes, we are," he told you adamantly, "I don't want anyone else. I only want you. You ain't leadin' me on because I don't wanna go anywhere else. I don't care what that looks like in the future, I'll take whatever you give me, that's all I want."

You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the wobble in his voice, and looked into the living room, the framed photo of your house that Ellie drew for you several Christmases ago, the same one you read about in your journal, catching your eye, and you felt yourself tear up.

I just want to go home, you thought, but home no longer existed. This was your home, like it or not.

You turned away, looking out the window over the sink blinking back tears, but Joel had already followed your gaze to the photo.

"I should get going," you said, voice thick. You chugged whatever coffee you could and dumped the rest in the sink.

"I'm gonna make it up to you," he said, following you to the door, "I'm gonna make this right." You scoffed.

"Yeah, okay," you mumbled sarcastically, shoving on your boots and coat before swinging open the door and heading out into the frigid winter morning, big flakes of snow slowly swirling and falling from the sky as Joel watched you trudge down the street, hunched over and curled in on yourself. A shell of the person he knew you to be.

He did that. He caused you pain. And it made him sick.

But at least he finally thought of a way he could prove how much you meant to him.

Sweat covered your forehead by the time you made it to the infirmary, your wool knit cap to blame for the excessive heat pouring from your head while your face was ice cold. You yanked it off your head and shed your coat before making your way to the back, your hair sticking to your forehead. Nick was nowhere to be found, but one of the exam room doors was closed and you heard voices murmuring on the other side. Assuming he had an early patient, you pulled your hair back and got to work. It was supposed to be a quiet day. Nick wanted you to work on an updated inventory list after getting a big batch of supplies two weeks prior from an unexplored hole-in-the-wall pharmacy.

The exam room door swung open, the voices clearer now, and your shoulders stiffened when you recognized the patient. You should have assumed Angie would be there that day, but for some reason it hadn't occurred to you.

Your anger had diffused a bit since the night before, that raw, exposed nerve quelled by time, but that didn't stop you from glaring at her as she passed by the inventory closet. Her swollen eyes widened with fear when she saw you and for the first time, you got a good look at the damage you inflicted. Her nose was clearly broken, she was missing a tooth and both eyes were black and blue, but the cuts on her cheeks and lips were superficial, at best.

She kept walking, not daring to say a word in your direction as your eyes followed her out the door. When she left, Nick turned around with a sigh and crossed his arms.

"How're you feeling?"

You shrugged and turned back to your clipboard. "I'm alright."

"You look like shit," he said, sidling up next to you and plucking the ibuprofen from the shelf. He tapped out two pills and dropped them into your palm before closing the bottle, putting it back where it belonged. "Did you eat?"

With just a shake of your head you popped the pills, swallowing them dry before turning back to your task.

"You gotta eat something with those, it'll tear up your stomach," he said, disappearing down the hallway and coming back a few minutes later with an apple. You grimaced but took it anyway, unable to stop your mind from replaying the memory of peeling apples with Joel just a week prior. Before everything went to hell.

Nick watched you quietly for a moment as you chewed your apple slowly and read down the list of medications on your clipboard.

"Do you, uh," he began, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, "do you need someone to talk to?" You glanced up at him in surprise and he dropped his hand back to his side. "We don't have to talk about it. But I know you still feel like you're a stranger in this town, and that's gotta be tough." He scratched his greying chin as he glanced around the room and you had to fight back the laugh that bubbled up your throat. You couldn't help it.

He noticed the amused look on your face at his discomfort and pretended to be annoyed when he muttered, "just come find me if you wanna talk or whatever," but you knew it was just an act. Nick was typically a quiet man, kept to himself and hardly ever spoke to his patients, let alone you, his employee, about personal matters. The fact he was trying now must mean he really thought you needed it.

The older man disappeared down the hall to his office and you smiled to yourself, then focused back on work, grateful for something that took your mind off your misery, even if it was just for a moment.

"What the hell do you want?" Tommy scowled when he flung open his door to find his older brother waiting on the other side, hands shoved deep in his pockets, weight shifting foot to foot in an effort to keep warm.

"C'mon, Tommy, I'm gettin' it from all angles, here."

"I don't give a shit," he spat, turning on his heel to retreat back into the house, but left the front door open. Joel took a step inside and quietly shut the door behind him, glancing around the entryway and peering into the living room as he took off his outerwear.

"Maria home?"

"No, she's down at the stables with Violet. Showin' her the horses, gettin' her outta the house," he grumbled, angrily putting away dishes as he spoke. Joel sighed and flattened his palms against the counter.

"I gotta ask for a favor."

Tommy scoffed and shook his head. "You're a piece of work, y'know that?"

"Yeah, I fuckin' know. Jesus Christ, Tommy, I made one goddamn mistake!" Joel yelled, slapping his hand against the cool countertop. Tommy twisted around, brow furrowed, and crossed his arms.

"Don't take an attitude with me," Tommy said through clenched teeth, "I don't give a shit if everyone's gangin' up on you. You deserve it! I thought she was the one you wanted to spend your life with? The one you'd do anythin' for?"

"She is!" Joel exclaimed, raking his fingers through his hair. Tommy's eyes softened while he watched his brother struggle, the enormity of what he did clearly taking its toll.

"Then what the fuck were you thinkin'?" he asked after a few moments, tone pleading. "Everythin' was goin' so well. You guys were havin' a nice time at the party, laughin' and smilin', we all saw it. Then you take 'er home and step out like that?"

"It's not- I was drunk and misread some things," Joel replied, rubbing his eyes with the pads of his fingers. "I tried to kiss her, she shot me down and I didn't take it all that well, alright?" Joel dropped his hand, exasperated, and looked at Tommy once again, taking a deep breath. "Went to the bar to drink and Angie sunk her claws into me. I got the hell outta there and confessed the second I got home but... didn't matter," he said, hanging his head between his shoulders.

"Angie said you followed her into the bathroom, Joel. Don't bullshit me, I was sittin' right there."

"I know, Jesus, it's my fault. I was drinkin' and upset and she was just... there. Pesterin' me and pushin' my buttons. It was only a second, Tommy. Nothin' else happened, y'hear me?" Joel's eyes were wide and desperate as he stared at his little brother across the kitchen.

"It's no excuse, Joel," Tommy said sadly. Joel pushed off the counter with a huff and yanked angrily at his disheveled hair again.

"I know that. I'm just tellin' you how it went down. But I gotta make it up to her. I gotta make it right."

"How the hell do you plan on doin' that? 'Cause from where I'm sittin', only way she could move past it is if I take her back out into the woods so she can hit her head again and forget," Tommy said.

Joel rolled his eyes and slumped into a chair at the kitchen table.

"I got an idea. Don't know if it'll work, but it's all I can think of to prove what she means to me," he said softly, staring down at his fingers twisting together in his lap.

Tommy sized his brother up and down before taking a few steps closer, his hands coming to grip the back of a chair as he leaned forward.

"Let's hear it."

Joel sighed and tilted his chin up. "I need a week off from patrol. I gotta leave Jackson. And I need a horse."

"What?" Tommy asked incredulously. "In the middle of winter? Absolutely not. You'll die out there."

"I survived out there before I came to Jackson, I'll be fine."

"Been a long fuckin' time and you weren't alone when you did it," Tommy argued.

"You offerin' to help?" Joel asked, and Tommy laughed dryly. But Joel continued to stare at him.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"'Course I am," Joel replied, "she ain't ever gonna forgive me but I gotta do somethin', Tommy. I can't lose her, and right now, it really feels like I'm gonna lose her." Joel's voice cracked and he turned away, looking out the window so Tommy couldn't see the emotion behind his eyes.

Tommy groaned and yanked a chair out to sit down.

"What'dya need me to do?"

It was a long day on your feet and your face hurt more than you cared to admit, so by the time you arrived home, you decided to make yourself a sandwich and go to bed early, skipping an appearance at the dining hall where you knew half the town would be gawking at you and your wounds, anyway.

Fortunately, Joel was up in his room with the door closed when you quietly snuck upstairs with your sandwich. You were still emotionally exhausted from your brief conversation that morning and you were grateful he wasn't looking to have another one.

Nick had sent you home with one of the good pills, as he called it, so you took it with your meal and within the hour, you were out cold. Maybe if you hadn't taken the pill, you would have been awake to hear Joel's bedroom door squeak open, the rustling of fabric and the tinkling of metal cutting through the quiet hallway as he gripped his sleeping bag in one hand and his backpack stuffed with supplies in the other.

Like he usually did, he paused outside your room, his eyes lingering on the doorknob, ears straining for any sign that you were awake, that maybe you had a change of heart and he could call the whole trip off, but he was only met with silence.

He swallowed and turned towards the stairs, quietly tiptoeing down and packed another bag with food from the pantry before setting all three items by the door. At the last minute, he decided to leave a note, not even certain you would notice or care he was gone, but he knew Tommy would be furious when he found out he lied to him earlier and he really didn't want his brother to waste manpower trying to hunt him down in the wilderness. So he grabbed a pen from a drawer and an old envelope. The tip of his pen hovered over the paper as he struggled with what to say, then finally decided to keep it brief before scribbling his note, leaving it by the coffee maker where he knew you would see it.

Lastly, he strode into the living room and grabbed one more thing, shoving it into his backpack before piling on his layers and heading out the front door, giving the house one last forlorn glance before slipping quietly into the night.

It was your day off, so naturally you allowed yourself to sleep in a little, hoping that the extra rest would help your bruises to heal. At the very least, you were pleased to discover the pain around your throat was significantly better than the day before.

You didn't hear Joel when you got up, but that was typical. He usually had early morning patrol shifts and was back by the afternoon, but when you came downstairs and saw the coffee wasn't made like it normally was, you froze. Your eyes drifted around, noticing his coat and boots were missing.

Maybe he was running behind and just didn't have time to make coffee.

As unusual as that might be, it was the only logical conclusion until you walked over to the coffee maker and saw an aged envelope sticking out of your favorite mug. You frowned and picked it up, eyes quickly scanning the words once, then three more times before the panic set in, your stomach churning worse and worse each time.

Tell Tommy I'll be back in a week.

He knows why.

No matter what, just know I love you with my whole heart, in this world or the next.

Joel

Boots unlaced and coat unzipped, you raced down the street towards Tommy's house, the envelope gripped tightly in your fist.

What the hell did that mean? Where did he go? What is he doing? And why did he sneak out without telling Tommy?

You banged on the door, the wood rattling violently under your clenched fist, only afterwards realizing you could have been waking their daughter but fortunately when the door opened, you saw Violet and Maria playing in the living room over Tommy's shoulder.

"What's goin' on, sugar? You okay?" he asked, voice filled with concern when he saw the look on your face.

"Joel's gone," you said hurriedly before pushing past him and entering the house, yanking off your hat and exchanging glances with Maria from across the room.

"Gone? What'dya mean, gone?"

"I mean I woke up today and he was gone, Tommy!" you exclaimed, handing him the note. "Where did he go?!"

You were aware your voice was panicky, that your eyes were wide with fear and your breath was fast and shallow, but you didn't care how it looked to them in that moment.

Tommy scanned the note and sighed, rubbing his forehead before urging you to join him in the living room, where he collapsed onto the sofa.

"That idiot," he murmured under his breath, handing you back the envelope.

"Where is he, Tommy?" you tried again, hoping to sound less frantic this time.

He glanced at Maria before meeting your gaze.

"He was here yesterday afternoon. Told me he needed a favor. Said he needed a week off from patrol and a horse."

"To do what?" you pressed, sinking down into an armchair next to the couch.

"He said-" he cut himself off and looked down at the note in your hand, ticking his jaw to the side as if he was contemplating how much to tell you.

"Spit it out," you demanded, and his eyes snapped back up to you.

"Said he had a plan to make things up to you. For, y'know," he waved his hand in the air, not wanting to say it. You shook your head.

"What was his plan?"

"He wouldn't tell me everything but I offered to help," Tommy admitted, glancing guiltily at Maria who shot him a surprised glare. "Said he needed to go to California, that he wanted to bring a piece of you back. I'm guessin' you're from out that way?" Tommy asked, and you nodded slowly. "He said he would wait 'til I talked to Maria and worked out the schedule but I guess he decided to fuck off-"

"Tommy!" Maria scolded sharply, covering Violet's ears, and Tommy cringed.

"Sorry," he said softly before turning back to you. "Guess he decided to lone-wolf it."

Your eyes drifted back to the note in your hand, swallowing the lump in your throat while your mind raced to catch up.

"What if he doesn't make it?" you asked, eyes still glued to the envelope, "what if he dies out there and it's all my fault?"

They heard your voice waver and exchanged sympathetic looks.

"He made a choice, he knew the risks," Maria said, "but he's a capable guy. If there were anybody who could make it out there alone, it's Joel."

"Listen, I'd send a couple guys out there lookin' for him but there's a storm brewin'," Tommy said, rubbing his chin and glancing out the window. "Been watchin' those clouds build up over the mountains all week. Told Joel as much and he agreed to wait but reckon he changed his mind and wanted to get in front of it."

"Or it was his plan all along to leave alone and he just made sure no one would come after him," Maria said, making the three of you fall quiet.

"God, what do I do?" you murmured, burying your face in your hands.

Tommy glanced at Maria and she subtly nodded towards the kitchen. He stood and cleared his throat before reaching his arms out towards his daughter.

"C'mere, let's get you somethin' to eat before naptime," he said, lifting Violet and taking her into the kitchen to give you both some privacy.

"What's going on?" Maria asked softly as she sat down in Tommy's place on the couch. You sighed and dropped your hands to your lap.

"I don't know," you said truthfully, "I'm so fucking angry at him, but..."

Maria pursed her lips knowingly. "But you still care."

You groaned and leaned back into the chair. "Yes."

"It's not like you're telling me or anyone else something we didn't already know," she said, "not after what happened with you and Angie in the middle of the street. I mean, look at you," she pointed to your bruised neck. "No one fights like that for someone they don't love."

"I don't love him," you said sternly, eyes flashing angrily in her direction. "You sound like Ellie."

"Okay, so if two people are telling you-"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," you abruptly stood up, brushing your palms on your jeans. "Sorry to barge in like this. I'm sure he'll be fine. I'm actually looking forward to a week of quiet," you tried to say confidently despite how tight your throat felt as you headed towards the door.

Maria called your name as she trailed after you, urging you to stay and talk, but you just pressed your lips together and shook your head.

"Seriously, I'm fine," you said, forcing a smile across your face. "I have some stuff to do so I'll see you guys at dinner or something."

Before she or Tommy could say anything else, you slipped out the door and rushed down the street, back towards home.

It wasn't until later that afternoon, after you had scrubbed clean the kitchen and bathrooms, doing anything and everything you could to stay busy, that you noticed the missing picture from the wall in the living room.

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #the last of us game #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #ikwya fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou

[candy-heart-brew]

I've seen some fans theorize that the lyrics to "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" tie into Frank's developing relationship with Eddie, potentially foreshadowing a grisly end for a favorite mailman. The lyrics are incredibly emotional and poor Frank sounds like he's fighting back tears during this entire record, making it feel like there's something more going on under the surface. While it's entirely possible that this is meant to foreshadow Frank and Eddie eventually being separated, I think the song's symbolism could be pointing to a different direction...

I touched a bit on this in a different post but to summarize: the attitude that Frank displays during "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" is completely at odds to his reaction to Eddie at the party. During BaBaG he's sad but resigned to fate, he knows that hibernation is inevitable but takes a bit of comfort in the knowledge that it's only temporary and that his loneliness will only last through winter. So, he does his best to power through, keep his personal feelings out of it, and assure his little friends that he'll be alright.

By contrast, his reaction to Eddie's behavior at the party is one of panic and confusion. He doesn't understand what's happening to Eddie or why he's suddenly gone unresponsive, he just knows that he isn't acting like himself at all and he can't accept that. He refuses to leave Eddie alone even after being ignored, continuing to push until he gets a response, at which point he immediately realizes something is wrong and tries to push further, only stopping when Eddie leaves. At this point in the story they don't appear to be especially close but Frank's terrified reaction speaks volumes about his true feelings for Eddie. And if this is how he reacts to him being quieter than usual, I can't imagine that he'd be much calmer or more composed in the event of losing Eddie altogether. IMO, he's far more likely to get angry and demand answers rather than wax poetic. So while "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" could potentially foreshadow Eddie's fate, Frank's subdued reaction makes me question that interpretation. I do think there's a deeper meaning to BaBaG, that Frank is singing about something other than bugs, just not Eddie. But then who? Well, as we found out in this last update, bugs are not the only creatures in the neighborhood that hibernate...

Think about it for a moment- Julie is going to be gone for months, leaving Frank all alone without his best friend. Who's going to invite him to games now? Who's going to listen to him about his interests and laugh at his jokes? Who's going to bake gelatin monstrosities with him? Julie is practically his other half so to lose her for months on end must be very difficult for him! He knows that she can't help it and he doesn't blame her but that hardly makes it any easier. All he can really do now is just push that sadness down, wish her goodnight, and wait for her to return.

Under this interpretation, certain lyrics in BaBaG take on a different meaning to me. Lines like "I know it's for the best, I can't keep you," or "I'll be the first to tell you, you just can't stay," could imply an oncoming rift between the two of them. The recent updates have implied that Frank and Julie were written to be a couple and were perceived as such in-universe. We don't yet know how the two of them felt about that but we do know that they were very close to the point of doing basically everything together! But now Frank is falling in love with someone else, someone who may very well come to eclipse Julie in terms of importance to him. No matter how much he loves her, no matter how much they might want to stay together, there are some things you just can't fight and this play-relationship they have can't last forever...

But that's just my interpretation!

#welcome home #frank frankly #eddie dear #franklydear #julie joyful #analysis #don't mind me just desperately clinging onto hope that the gays will live!

[thelastpuppyboygirl]

YES !! YES !!!!!! AHAHAAAA YESSSS !!!!

my personal headcannons for the loveliest of lovely little guys <3333

extra info + flags!!

randy: (pan and agender)

-fibromyalgia for sure, trauma does shit things

-probably needs a cane or something similar to aleviate pain (doesn't think he's ill enough to need one, absolutely is)

-if he gets high please treat him like a fish in an aquarium, probably would hate the lack of control

-flushes really easily, and constantly clammy

-if you put a blanket on his head he'll fall asleep

-narcolepsy

-loves the feeling of a nice, heafty, soft quilt and a hot cocoa on a cold afternoon...

oliver: (trans, gay and demiromantic!)

-has a stuffed animal collection 100%

-probably picks up a million different projects only to put them down, a new hyperfixation every week kinda guy

-him being a stoner is basically cannon but, in specifics he seems like a bong or joint guy to me, would let u smoke the first hit (bc he's nice)

-rollerskate date :]

-glasses to at least semi help his shit 'eye' (optical sensor) and lack of depth perception (they can only do so much though)

karen: (nonbinary, lesbian)

-doesn't particularly care about gender as a concept

-has a bunch of tassles and cords in her house she has braided

-can't keep a plant alive to save her life, has mourned at least 20 house plants, has a fake one (somehow dies too)

-mitski.

-the biggest sweet tooth out of the group

-will lock herself away for hours and hours, sometimes an entire day or two, just creating. only to come out of a hole haggard and exhuasted with her New Horse Drawing.

-hEDS, uses a walker to get around!

Norm: (questioning/bi ?)

-writer (how the hell else wouldn't he go absolutely bonkers all alone, other than having a goal and spite i guess)

-uses coffee to live, but definitely enjoys tea in his free time

-probably learned archery at some point

-whittles little sculptures to pass the time (made karen a little wooden horse sculpture once)

-randomly schedules cook outs/junctions when he's feeling lonely and isolated

-he would absolutely take the will graham route and end up with 20 fucking stray dogs out of a deep empathy and then wake up one day and realize the mess he got himself into.

-grilldad. (duh)

phonegingi: (genderfluid, polyamorous, pan)

-gender? yes.

-sexuality? yes.

-will consume your clothes if you are not careful with your gingi Care instructions. (taking little nibbles is okay as a treat)

-if weed is consumed it basically acts as a horrifically strong catnip, and it will get the zoomies and make it everyone's problem

-purrs

-pays really good attention to detail stuff, and its brain is basically a filing cabinet. but big events are basically a blur

-gets SUPER !! fluffy during the winter and there's an awful period where it's shedding and it's...super patchy and silly lookin

-me and the bitches i pulled by being HORRIFYING and lovely,,,,

bigfoot: (aroace. i don't take criticism.)

-banana,,,

-genuinely pretty attentive and smart

-becomes a painter because he is INSPIRED ! by his friend karen

-absolutely splendid lad

-i wanna live in a world where one of his passions is making and wearing silly hats, please, PLEASE

-karen showed him mitski,,,god help him he's sad now

-knitting,,,he knit giant banana,,,,

#dialtown fanart #randy jade #oliver swift #karen dunn #norm allen #phonegingi #bigfoot dialtown #dialtown #dialtown hc

[clouisluvr]

i need a part 3 of sean diaz hc IM STARVEDDD‼️

ask and (11 months later) you shall receive!

- deep conversations always happen whilst laying on the floor. he’ll lay on his back with an arm propped under his head and listen intently to everything you have to say

- hangs on to your every word if youre talking about something important like .. his eyes will go kinda big because he’s so focused on you he kinda forgets to blink LOL

- grabs onto your hands when hes nervous, like just clutches onto them and squeezes. likes when you rub the back of his hand with ur thumb for extra reassurance

- sean sees the world so artistically and beautifully so a feature of yours you’ve never noticed before is accentuated in his art. a beauty spot you didnt notice, a dimple you never knew about. he loves every little detail about you

- faye webster enjoyer! indie pop lover in general tbh. loves listening to music with you (earbud user because he hates how headphones feel on his head) and will always think of you when he listens to certain songs

- i think if you told him you like his hair long he’d let it GROWWW. like so long he can tie it into a bun, but it would annoy him after a while and he’d cut it to like ep1 length. will let you and daniel put his hair in pigtails with bows (he’ll joke about being coquette)

- loves going on drives with you. sometimes daniel tags along but he prefers when its just the two of you. definitely likes listening to frank ocean whilst the sun sets (it reminds him of gta😭)

- has a bad habit of putting on this cynical teen front (like his journal entry about trump winning LOL) and you give him an outlet to be sincere and sensitive which leads to him opening up about his mom

- sean feels a weird sense of guilt when he criticises karen in front of daniel because he knows he’s too young to really remember and feel upset about it. but he feels even worse doing it in front of his dad because he feels like his emotions take up too much space. like it overshadows the betrayal his dad must feel.

- so instead he adopts a mostly indifferent, partially angry attitude towards his mom leaving to disguise the genuine sadness and resentment. the inability to understand how she could just up and leave. when you give sean the space to actually .. feel everything, he breaks down. it deepens the bond he has with you, he feels theres no judgement to be cruel, selfish, or upset around you.

- seans newfound sensitivity from dating you also lets him be unashamedly happy about the holiday season. he is done pretending to be over christmas, bring out the ugly jumpers and candy canes!!

- esteban is in SHOCK. sean is up early during his winter break to *checks notes* decorate?? convinced it must be crack.

- not sure what the american equivalent of winter wonderland is, but he saves up money from his part time job to take you, his dad and daniel to a winter festival! he kinda breaks the bank but has no regrets!! gets you hot chocolates and treats, also spends an embarrassing amount on game tickets trying to win you a prize😭 you tell him its ok but he will keep trying until he gets you SOMETHING!

- at some point he’ll sneak off with you to give you the sweetest kiss ever. will hold your chin in his hand and tilt your head up to kiss you. he’s not huge on pda (especially with his dad in the vicinity) BUT he’s in such a good mood he cant pass up the chance. starts smiling through the kiss because he’s so happy

- that definitely inspires art of you looking flushed with slightly swollen lips but a look of warmth in your eyes. probably gives it to you as a christmas gift! tells you its one of the many many moments he felt himself falling even more in love with you

- he hates the cold but loves the excuse to cling to you constantly. “sean.. i need to pee.” “pretty sure if i let go of you i’ll instantly get frostbite soo..”

- nervous and geeky when you guys first start dating, but gets SUPERRR suave as time goes on it kinda makes you weak in the knees. will cup your cheek mid conversation and stroke your cheek with his thumb. will backhug you and kiss your neck. will kiss the back of your hand if hes feeling VERY romantic… whore activity tbh!

- hickey enthusiast omg its BAD hes an addict. but god forbid you give him one because he will freak about lyla seeing and giving him grief over it. has a thing for marking you and knowing you like how it feels

- loves when you wrap your arms around his neck!! gives him this super strong sense of security, he’ll always wraps his arms around your waist.

- HATES when people talk at the movies. you, sean and daniel all went to see fnaf and daniel would not stop turning to both of you to explain the lore incase you were confused😭 not even whispering mind you! infuriates sean but its him telling you and daniel to stop talking that gets the reaction of an angry parent asking him to “be quiet or leave!” his eye twitches when you and daniel start laughing at him LOLL

- ushanka hat bandit. will wear them even during SUMMER! always paired with a tank top and jeans or a striped hoodie. i think sean has slutty hips so u love the tank top x low rise jeans combo he wears in summer LMAOO :P

- likes to cuddle with your back facing him so he can kiss your shoulder.

- likes to post discreet pictures of you on his main ig but his spam account is like 90% you LMAO. posts photodumps filled with dumb text messages between you both and candid pictures of you

- gets overprotective of you in a similar way to how he is with daniel, sometimes you have to remind him you’re there to protect him too

- will lay his head on your shoulder when hes in need of comfort. also a subtle way of asking you to play with his hair (he will melt)

- likes if you put your hands in his jacket pocket when it’s cold so he can hold it in there!!

- goes through phases where he ALWAYS wants to be on the phone with you. like you could be on the way over and he’ll stay on call until you’re in his house

- has a bad habit of getting into petty arguments with you that start off playful, like debating over what the best chocolate bar is but he’ll end up taking it too far and getting legit mad LMAO. you both end up cackling about managing to argue over chocolate

- plans his future with you in it. knows he always wants to be in close proximity to you, daniel and his dad no matter what! he can’t imagine life without you and tbh he doesnt want to.

not sure what hits me at like midnight that makes me wanna write hcs but as always im too sleepy to proofread so ignore any mistakes! also sorry if you dont celebrate christmas, i was projecting a little LOL

hope u all enjoy!💗

#sean diaz x reader #life is strange x reader #life is strange 2 #life is strange 2 x reader #lis2 sean

[chaotic-on-main]

Shoveling Snow with Levi

moodboard and drabble oneshot for @humanitys-strongest-bamf who requested shoveling snow and hot tea snuggles with Levi <3

content: fluff, modern au, established relationship, marriage, winter

word count: ~1.3k

Levi is the kind of man who will do all of the hard chores, even though you're very much capable of doing so. Shoveling snow is one of those. To be honest, you didn't mind because shoveling snow was the worst part of winter next to having to drive in it. But it means time away from your newly wedded husband, and for that you were sad about it.

On this particular day, Levi awoke to a few feet of new accumulation staring right back at him from the window. The weather forecast predicted no such thing so he grumbles something under his breath, unfortunately waking you up for the day. He feels you stirring and rolls over to see your face half covered from the plush pillow, a sleepy eye peeking over the navy blue cloth.

“Sorry, Love. I didn't mean to wake you.” Levi says softly as he inches closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist just to pull you into him. His bare chest is warm from being under the sheets all night. The gentle beating of his heart threatens to lull you to sleep again, but you remember the grumbling that woke you up in the first place.

“What's wrong?” You ask, muffled from being pressed up against his chest.

“It snowed a lot last night, so I need to shovel. Again.” You can already feel the scowl that pulls on Levi's soft lips.

“No. We're staying inside all day. You said.” You whine back, snaking your own arms around him to keep him close. You wouldn't let him go, not ever.

“That was before I knew the forecaster was a liar.” Levi grumbles yet again.

“The weather is unpredictable, you know that.”

“Tch. If I don't take care of it, then it will just melt and make it worse. Do you want to fall on your ass like last year?”

“That's not fair, I was distracted!”

“A cat running down the sidewalk is not a valid excuse when you could have been paying attention to where you were going.” Levi chuckles and rests his chin on the top of your head before kissing it softly.

“Mean. And to be fair, he had a bow in his mouth and he was really cute.” You whisper, a smile still appearing despite the silly comments.

You both lie there a little longer, the only noises in the bedroom coming from the soft exhales you both made as well as the little wall clock on the opposite side of the room. You're almost about to fall back asleep until you're jostled awake by Levi pulling away from you. You do your best to grab him and bring him back but he's too strong for you. Before you know it, you're staring at Levi's muscular back.

“I won't be long.” He says as he stands up and stretches his arms above his head. His back and arms flex from the movement and you can't help but stare. Oh how you wish you could trail kisses down them right now. But you didn't have time for that.

“I'm coming with you.” You state matter-of-factly as you rip off your sheets in a dramatic show of display. You wish you hadn't as the winter morning air bites at your bare skin, but you had to make a point. Pushing yourself out of bed, you turn and stare at Levi with a look of determination.

“You hate shoveling.” Levi states back. He makes his way over to the closet to grab some winter clothing.

“I do. But you promised me hot tea and movies today and I'll be damned if this stops us. It will make it go faster.” You shrug as you follow Levi's steps.

Eventually, you and your husband are both fitted for the snow. He helps lace up your snow boots and you do the same for him. You look like you're ready for some miscellaneous winter sport, but unfortunately you were heading out for something far worse.

Shoveling sucks. Ten minutes in, you can already feel your arms burning and your back aching from bending at such an odd angle. Levi told you to only worry about the walkway connecting the front porch to the driveway. It's a small section compared to his and yet you're still struggling. You're doing your best to slow your breathing and take your time but you still feel sweat starting to accumulate. This chore is enough to make athletes question their fitness, you think.

About an hour passes until you're both done. You collapse into the snow, reveling in the cool that permeates the cloth beneath you. The sky is a brilliant blue with a few low clouds in the sky, no doubt the traces left behind last night's snow.

“I thought you said you wanted hot chocolate and movies.” Levi says as he steps over to you. His shadow covers your face and all you see now is his pretty features with a sun halo around his head.

“I do! I'm just waiting to see if death is going to take me now or later.”

Levi holds his hand out to you and you take it. He pulls you up like you're air and steadies your body to keep you from falling head first the other way. His nose and cheeks are rosy pink from the cold and you reach up to touch his face with your palm. He really is pretty.

“Something on my face?” His gray eyes almost look blue from the reflection of the afternoon sky and bright white snow.

“Yeah, your face. I like it.”

“You're so weird.”

“Yeah, but you like it.”

“Do I?”

“Well you better. You’re stuck with this forever.” You laugh at his stoic expression with one raised eyebrow.

“Just go inside already. Take a warm shower while I get some tea started.” He shakes his head at you as you start to walk away. He calls your name at the same time you feel his gloved hand wrap around your arm.

In just a few seconds, he pulls you into him and is tilting your chin with his other hand towards his face. His lips meet yours gently, the warmth of it all spreading into your face and down to your toes. Then it's over as it started. His face pulls away as he looks into your eyes earnestly.

“Now go. I'm sure you have a ton of movies in mind.”

Levi’s special tea is done brewing around the same time you step out of the bedroom in a fresh pair of pajamas with fuzzy socks to boot. He had the living room ready for a night in. Fairy lights and candles decorate the mantle of the fireplace that sits ablaze. The warmth of it is immediate as you make your way to the couch already adorned with your favorite blankets.

“You know me so well.” You smile over at Levi who is just now setting a tray full of snacks and tea.

“Being together as long as we have will do that to you.” He says back nonchalantly, though you spot that little smile of his tugging at the corners of his mouth.

The movie you picked out was really good. The tea Levi made was even better. As you snuggle up into Levi's side, you take a few deep breaths of his musky scent. It's not long before you're drifting off to sleep again with dreams of snow-filled adventures and your perfect husband.

There is a little over a week left of my winter event! If you'd like to request something, go here for the rules! <3

#sky's winter event #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #x reader #levi ackermann #levi ackermann x reader #modern au #sky's moodboards #kat.moots

[mugeesworld]

Cuddly Chubby reader x Strawhat Crew (Platonic)

Haven't wrote something in a WHILEEEEE BABES LIKE DAMN I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T PAID MY CHILD SUPPORT OR SOMETHING BUT ANYWAYS WE BACK BITCHES. and I'm feeling wholesome.

Context: Reader is a chubby gal (femreader) and the Strawhat crew being as close as they are with each other show love or friendship in different ways. And for y/n the crews just really likes to cuddle with her in a comforting platonic way. So here are some head cannons that make me smile.

Includes: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, Chopper, Franky, Brook, And Jinbei

Not proof read

Luffy

Luffy is definitely the type of person to be very touchy and not realize or understand that some people don't like being hugged. So he will do it to anyone in his reach if he considers them a friend.

Speaking of hugs. Luffy love hugs. Especially hugging you. While you're minding your business on the ship, it doesn't surprise you anymore when you feel really long arms wrap around you.

And though you might not mind the hugs from Luffy. Sometimes he just won't let go. He'll hold on like a leech. Like a kid holding on to their parents leg so they can't walk.

At some point their was definitely a incident where he just didn't want to stop hugging you. So for however long he decided to stay wrapped around you, He was clinged to you like he was in one of those baby carriers. He had to be prided off when you start getting tired of carrying his ass around.

And all while this was happening he's just giggling. Doing this just because you give the best hugs he says.

Also when he gets really tired after running around with Usopp and chopper on the ship (not likely but hey let's go with it) he'll just walk over to where ever you're standing/sitting and lay on you. "Y/n *cough cough* I'm dying help meeeee" and he'll just lay across your legs or something till he catches his breath THEN HE'S UP AGAIN.

I think Luffy would just really dislike the feeling of being cold. So whenever it's cold and y'all are sailing bro does not leave your side at times. When winter comes around all you'll hear is "Y/n I'M COLDDDDDUHHHHH!" The crew tried giving him a bunch of blankets putting him next to fire but he would always complain about the cold unless y/n was there with him.

I feel like he would also just come into your room randomly when he's bored and just lay on you. Full starfish. Covering you completely cause he can't read a room and understand you're busy. So you might be doing something while on your bed and then the door will just open and without a word being said bros laying down. Just chillin.

Zoro

Now we all know zoro loves his naps and will do that crap anywhere. And you just can't stand to see that man rest his head on some hard ass wood floor. It's Makes you cringe. Like that shit gotta be uncomfortable... So one day he was laying next to you and you got tired of seeing that crap. And you don't say anything you just sigh and lift his head up and move your thigh/leg under him. He opens his eyes for a second surprised but he soon goes back sleep. Not saying anything, but is grateful for the pillow.

And from then on y'all never spoke about it. It was just something y'all did. Everytime he would want to take a nap and you were sitting down he would just walk over and lay his head on you. No words exchanged. But he did enjoy it. And he would never admit it but he took really good naps when laying on you. And everytime he would try to sleep on the floor he would struggle to fall asleep cause he was used to you.

And yes he could easily just grab a pillow. But nah... He chooses you.

(This one a bit sad idk how I came up with it honestly)

And this might be stretching but if he ever has a night mare or can't sleep he would come to your room. Opening the door. Looking stressed out or sweating and that's all you needed to know. All that was needed between you two was a nod. And once you did that he would enter and once again fall asleep on you. Even though he usually sleeps for a long time whenever he would sleep in your bed at night he would never be there in the morning. He would always wake up before you. Not because he didn't like you or something but because he wants to respect your space as much as possible. And also I don't think he would want the crew to find out cause they might want to talk about it. But he knows with you, that your want push it and he just enjoys having someone there.

Though one night when he seemed stressed and came in there you said "wanna talk about it? I'll listen."

After being silent for a bit he responds "This is enough. Thank you... Y/n"

And you just hum In response. Zoro might be a man of few words but you knew he needed rest and you understood him and understood he might not want to talk about it but still wants to be comforted.

I might go as far and say you're the only person on the crew that has seen zoro cry cause one night he came into your room with tears running down his face. His eyes wide. Yet his face expressionless. Coming to you cause you're the only person that knew about his nightmares. Immediately understanding he had a really bad nightmare. Saying "I'm sorry dear..." getting up from your bed and giving him a hug which he surprisingly excepted hugging you tightly back and shuttering a bit before you pat his back.

Zoro not really being a fan of physical affection like hugs but in that moment and with you he needed it and was ok with it...

"Come. Rest now" you say before sitting down on your bed again. Him not saying anything only the sound of sniffles before it goes quiet meaning he fell asleep.

Shit I'm going to hell for that one. THAT WAS SAD. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO WHOLESOME. It just kept coming. My fingers just kept going y'all. I just had to keep adding on huh.

Nami

I just know Nami loves you. You're her best friend. If y'all share a room like her and robin do she definitely shares a bed with you and will ask you to cuddle all the time if not every single night.

I bet she called you cuddle bug at some point 😭

Or will get mad if you don't lay down with her. "Y/N HURRY UP AND COME TO BEDDD I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP WOMAN! Are you trying to make me have bags??! So inconsiderate!"

Will always blame her lack of sleep on you.

Ik she stingy with that blanket too. And doesn't want y'all to have separate ones but she will always still yalls "shared" blanket for herself.

Usopp

I don't know if usopp would be someone that's wants to cuddle but I think he would always hug you when y'all greet or say your goodbyes. Also just sometimes in the morning or at night when y'all just wake up/are about to rest.

I also think we would just do it when he's tired. Like he just got done fixing something with the ship and sees you. Giving you a nod before walking over and giving you a tired hug.

Or y'all will just be standing somewhere beside each other and he will throw his arm around you. Swaying a bit.

Sanji

Now it's not like it's a secret everyone on the crew likes your hugs so it's a known thing for them that you will always hug them. And sanji took that crap to his advantage.

Nami and robin never let him hug them cause of his weird ways but he knows you won't turn him down. So everytime you return back to the ship or even just walking into the kitchen for breakfast he can't help but stop whatever he's doing and running towards you with open arms. "Y/n my loveeee! Good morning!" "Y/n! My angel you're back!"

A few times even knocking you back cause he was so excited.

He would never touch you in a weird way though. And the first time he hugged you he asked to and you said he didn't have to ask that it didn't bother you. So he won't ever take that for granted. He might be a perv but he's still a gentleman.

When you return back to the boat after shopping he would always be the first to greet you. Not even waiting for you to get on the ship. He just jumps onto the ground and runs towards you. (Slowing down right before y'all hug so he doesn't hurt you) Offering to carry whatever you’re carrying then talking excitedly about what he had made for her or what he planned to make.

Chopper

Chopper is a lot like luffy. He's very grabby. Except he can't stretch so instead he will either raise his arms up to be picked up or will just climb up you like a mountain.

Sitting on your shoulders as you work. Sometimes sitting in your lap taking a nap as you work.

Chopper would also ask if he can sleep with you sometimes. He didn't really have a excuse. He just liked it. He would try his best to make one up though!

Especially during the winter. It would just be you chopper and luffy sometimes at night cause they are both cold and apparently you ar the only think that helps.

Robin

I don't think robin is big on physical contact but she still finds a sense of comfort being around. Even if it just the two of you reading beside each other, yalls shoulders touching, you resting your head on her leg as she reads to you or maybe the other way around. She enjoyed the small things.

And though they might not be a big deal or very obvious she still likes them and looks forward to yalls reading time.

Franky

Now I just know Franky likes to cuddle. Can't tell me different. Physical contact and spending time together is his love language

He loves when you ask him about something he's working on in his shop cause he will happily sit down in his rolling chair and let you sit on his lap and he explains everything.

Also Franky just really likes carrying people. He likes being helpful. So he will always offer to carry you. And if you say yes he would carry you in one arm/hand or let you sit on his shoulder.

I think he would just want to hug you like a teddy bear. Franky is a older man so if you joined the crew in your teens or as a early adult I bet he would start calling you bear, little bear, T bear. I think he would have a few silly pet name he called the crew at times.

Very fatherly vide to Franky. He gives off Major barbecue dad vibes.

Also he is mostly metal so I know he gets cold easily.

Brook

Brook would feel really awkward about hugging you are first I think. Not only cause you're a pretty girl but because well.... Their's not much for you to hug

So he might say "But I'm all bone! Yohohoh" when you offer him a hug. But you just laugh and shake your head at him. Giving him a hug which he really likes to his surprise.

He was scared that it wouldn't be the same as when he had mest on his bones but to his surprise it did for some reason. Which he found really comforting.

And though people might not like to hug him cause he's all bones he knows you will. And eventually he was the one that started hugging you instead of you hugging him.

Jinbei

Id sell my soul for jinbei to give me a hug bro. Like I just know he gives hugs like those plus size southern old women. (Iykyk) imagine him with a southern accent in like a woman voice saying "Come here baby" 😭😭😭 HELP "give me some sugar"

So let's turn the tables instead of jinbei wanting to hug you. YOU go to him. You wrap your arms around him the best you can and he tries to hug you back but he might just pat your head or put his hand on your back.

He won't turn you down. I think everyone on the crew also likes hugging him like they like hugging you. So I'm sure he is used to people jumping on him.

#heeheemugee #chubby #chubby y/n #chubby!reader #chubbyreader #one piece #one piece headcanons #sanji #robin #nami #Luffy #Zoro #usopp #Chopper #Brook #jinbei #strawhats #monkey d. luffy #roanoa zoro #one piece nami #sanji x reader #one piece usopp #tony tony chopper #robin one piece #soul king brook

[meowjings-arsb]

Possibly even more on crack Stardew headcanons and whatnot because yes 👍

First post

Void chickens are burnt

With enough void mayonnaise, you could possibly obtain the goblin Henchman’s loyalty if only that the Witch doesn’t curse you first

All rabbits are honed in the fine art of keychain making. Hence the lucky rabbit feet they give off

We still don’t know where they’re getting the extra feet though…

Junimo have short, soft, fluffy fur 🍏

They’re also squeezable like a stress ball or a balloon filled with slime

Don’t take (much) fall damage or injury from being tossed at stacks of cans 🥫, but that’s very mean so why would you do that-

From what the witch remembers, humans typically hate void chickens because their eggs are gross but aPARENTLY she guessed wrong with the farmer when she cursed their hen house. She wanted them to eat the egg out of curiosity and suffer for a day or two but noooooo they INCUBATED it out of curiosity instead of consuming it ahhhhhhhhhhhh

She guessed right on cursing the slime hutch with black slimes though because we all know naughty children hate coal.

Gil at some point did a joke slime making video using an actual cave slime, and people just thought it was cool effects and CGI stuff. So now he’s a hit with the slime making fantasy types

Marlon also walked in on him giving a slime a glitter bath. Gil also had glitter all over his face from the slime hitting him head on.

Most of the decorations for the festivals are stored in Pierre’s, the Saloon’s, and the Community Center’s attics

Pierre, Caroline, and Abigail are a family with Spirits Eve colored hair and are therefore— Spooky~

Sometimes… when he’s tired of fish but still wants meat… Willy may eat… a bug steak 🥩

No one thought or knew that the farmer was going to ask someone to dance at the Flower Dance, and so they didn’t even think to get them a proper outfit for the occasion

Or no one had a spare outfit that fit the farmer and just didn’t care to get them one at that point

OR the farmer just outright didn’t want to wear the dance outfit because ew

We have no idea why they didn’t dress up for their own wedding though

The large candy canes placed around the town and sold as decorations at the Feast of the Winter Star and the Night Market are indeed edible 👍

I think that was already canon, but Gus why are you putting them in the dirt-

Shane was persuaded into getting Animal Crossing New Horizons. His island is full of chicken villagers plus Punchy.

Went feral and then sad for a hot minute upon learning of Hector’s existence and him not being in New Horizons

Grandpa’s bed, was in fact, a ping pong table 🏓

The farmer passing out at 2:00am at the latest and waking up at 6:00am at the earliest is a weird internal clock thing. Probably developed from working at Joja Co™️ all those years

Mr Qi personally sent that strange figure who sells the farmer a Farm Warp Totem to be there at the Night Market because he knows the farmer is gonna forget to check the time and then pass out on a mad dash back to the farm

Mr Qi also cannot possibly be human. What is he really? An elf? Vampire? Sorcerer? Snake hybrid? 7 Junimos in a trench coat? Just a man who spray paints himself blue for the aesthetic?

If you have ever seen Caroline’s tea cutscene, then you should know that the tea she drinks probably has a non-zero amount of cannabis in it.

Or maybe not… but like… why was there a lil squid person in there? Drinking tea aswell?? And disappeared with a puff of steam/smoke????

Actually- the tea she had was green, very sparkly and ripple-y. I bet Rasmodius had something to do with it. Because you know what happened with Rasmodius’s tree cutscene and uh… *cough* *cough* that other thing about the wizard-

Professor Snail has a snail under his hat named Mikey 🐌 that he picked up from the month he spent trapped in a cave

The kids of pelican town (Jas, Vincent, + Leo maybe) and the ASS trio (Abigail, Sam, Sebastian), are knowledgable of Krobus’s existence at least somewhat. Also Willy and Gunther 👌

Mr Qi eats Junimos🍏 ..sometimes-

Why? Because they’re like apples, he’s a mysterious son of a gun, and because these are crack headcanons that’s why-

Rasmodius is actively trying to get him magically banned from entering the community center and any other place currently occupied by them…

(spoiler?) …including Jojamart™️

Mr Qi’s outfit actually glows in the dark with a buncha tiny lights and glittery bits. Also shiny like a disco ball maybe ✨

Just hit him with a high powered flashlight and he becomes this ✨

Willy has seen the horrors 🐟

The Iridium bar required in the slime hutch, contrary to popular belief, is not just used as an extra brick for fun. Robin’s gotta smelt it down and add a lil bit of its essence to every stone making up the walls and foundation. (Hard work, y’know?). One bar is just enough to bless the hutch and requiring more seemed to be asking for too much.

Haley follow’s the Queen of Sauce’s Stardew equivalent of Instagram

Junimo Kart should not exist

The whole 100 floors down Skull Caverns was a ruse in an attempt to kill you, the farmer, but it failed because you didn’t die on the whole trip down and are also somehow immune to snake milk (venom). Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger I guess 🤷‍♂️🥛🐍

The farmer is indeed a cryptid. They don’t even breath

Instead of actual armor they instead rely on boots and rings for their protection??? They HAVE a hat, shirt, and pants slot, they CAN wear more armor than just boots if they had any but noooooooo. They like dancing with death so it seems

Actively just challenging Yoba to smite them: Being able to just consume food you really shouldn’t (ex. Void mayonnaise, mushrooms) and do it again once out of the hospital, Just carrying metal tools in thunderstorms, Being able to get hit by the valley’s train and brush it off, Repetitively going into the mines and Skull Caverns despite Harvey’s warnings, Drinking a weird unnatural drink offered by a mysterious stranger twice, also if they get their hands on it, carrying around freaking RADIOACTIVE ore without protection like it’s nothing????

Like I’m still not over the radioactive ore, even if I’ve never encountered it yet-

Also whatever the heck is happening on the Ginger Island dungeon? I’m pretty sure that’s lava everywhere in there??? And you just use your dinky watering can to cross it like no big deal??????

Stardew Valley so just so wild man

At least one person’s gonna be pissed at the farmer if they caught the legendary fish, put them in their fridge, and accidentally made sashimi with them. Maybe Gordy and Tex…

Also proof that the farmer is a cryptid is that they can catch all 5 legendary fish and their relatives without a sweat. Like Willy’s been at this for years. Also where do the relatives come from-

The fact that Pierre hates being given legendary fish is weird to me. I feel like that’s a boasting opportunity to have one in his funky lil shop.

I feel like Willy should also be happier than neutral upon being given the honor of owning one of these legendary fish. Or maybe he’s equally surprised as he is pissed that he wasn’t the one to do it and it cancels out.

Actually- maybe he catch and released? I’m too tired for this man

Gordy in The Fisherman Act ll is a wuss

The Crystalarium just can’t handle the Gay Shard’s power. Haley also can’t handle the Gay Shard apparently.

If you give a Junimo hut a Fairy Stone, are you just giving them the fossil of a long dead relative of theirs? Would that be weird?

If Abigail ate a fairy stone, would she be cursed by the fae for like… eating their crystallized bones

Forget what I said earlier about Emily wielding a parrot perch, she uses the unobtainable Holy Blade now- 🗡✨

If the farmer ever sees the green creature at the pelican town docks, just know that they probably hate you

Your dad probably has a rock collection. Why else is he sending you quality stones

#just your usual Wednesday afternoon crack headcanons #I had most of this done earlier but it didn’t feel long enough so eh. here you are #I haven’t reached Ginger island yet. or played Stardew in a while tbh. oof #my stoof #signatured #a portion of this is just me rambling about how weird sdv is tbh #my writing #sdv #stardew valley #did you know. that I have not died once in my whole stardew play through so far. I did the 100 floors challenge too! #I’m not counting passing out at 2am. because that’s happened at least twice #once on my own farm and another trapped in a spiral level of the mines after loosing track of time #Robin was legit building a coop next to me when I passed out too and Joja STILL charged me for it!

[super-paper]

Truly Yours: A Defense of "Iron Might"

"My dear, In the midst of hate, I found within me an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found within me an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found within me an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better – pushing right back "

Disclaimer: The above quote is famously misattributed to Camus-- who seemingly only wrote the midst of winter/invincible summer portion of the original piece-- and the author of the expanded quote remains unknown. Nevertheless, it fits Toshi's character perfectly.

Iron Might remains a polarizing love-or-hate-it topic within the fandom, with many fans expressing their concerns that it ruins Toshinori's character/arc. It's no secret that I fall pretty firmly on the "love" side of camp-- and as is the case with all things I love, I can't love quietly or in moderation. So here's another really really really long post on all the reasons why I love it, and why I don't feel that this was character assassination in the slightest.

Breaking the key points down, I aim to discuss:

A) How Iron Might acts as a sort of resolution to Toshi's complex relationship with his body and injuries, and reconciles the divide between Toshinori's body and soul.

B) How Iron Might embodies MHA's definition of "love" and acts as a love letter to everything Toshinori wants to protect and everything he's ever wanted to protect. Iron Might is not meant to be read as a suicide mission, but as Toshinori weaponizing the joy of living as "Yagi Toshinori" and pitting the weight of his entire existence against AFO.

C) How Iron Might further cements MHA as "meta-fiction" through discussion of what being "quirkless" means on a narrative level + the dismantling of popular but overdone tropes that people have come to expect in comics. Toshi is also fighting for his right to exist in a battle manga against a toxic comic nerd who thinks that Toshi's role ended in Kamino and that he contributes more to the story by dying.

D) How Iron Might functions as a narrative device (i.e. It gets Toshinori to Izuku and Tomura). This is the battlefield where Toshi's character was always destined to end up because this is where all his unfinished business is at. Simple as!

"The body and mind are two halves of a whole" Iron Might as Toshinori coming to terms with his injuries and his body:

Kicking things off with this point bc I feel like... understanding how Toshi's relationship and struggles with his own body have been a major part of his character arc is something that's, like, absolutely essential when it comes to getting an accurate read on what Iron Might means to Toshi's character. Iron Might ultimately functions as a reconciliation between Toshinori's wounded body and heroic soul, so it's a bit sad to see people repeatedly dismissing it as "ruining Toshinori's character arc" without ever taking Toshi's relationship with his own body into consideration. Like, this is not some "insignificant" part of his arc that's being prioritized over everything else:

A collection of very relevant panels! Side note: Tsukauchi fumbling the toshibowl so hard that Toshi's car seems like the better romantic choice in comparison will never stop being funny. Aiba ur the only person in that control room i respect btw.

For the longest time Toshinori has viewed his emaciated, ill body as something pathetic and shameful. His body was something he felt that he *had* to hide from the world, in order to maintain the illusion of being a hero who could never possibly succumb to evil. His injuries and the state of his body cleaved his identity/self-perception in two-- he begins the series treating his actual body as the "secret identity" instead of his authentic self. The story doesn't spoonfeed this to the readers because it expects its readers to have enough empathy to put two-and-two together on their own-- That Toshi doesn't simply struggle with the loss of OFA & "All Might/heroism" in the aftermath of Kamino, but also the loss of what he felt was his "true" body.

Toshinori is very easily read as someone who suffers from intense body dysmorphia-- and him forcibly changing himself back into his muscular form over and over again can also quite easily be read as Toshi attempting to cling to whatever time he has left with the body that doesn't make him feel like a stranger in his own skin. It's him holding onto the self he views as "actually him" for as long as he can.

Toshi's arc is something that resonates with a lot of people who have disabilities or suffer from dysphoria-- So it's frustrating when some fans decide to take the least gracious interpretation of his character and issues and run with it, instead attempting to frame Toshi as some washed up attention seeker who ~simply can't let go of his glory days~. Toshi's character has been hit with a lot of ableism both in-universe and out of it, with the fandom only really acknowledging that he's a disabled man when it conveniences them and otherwise disregarding how this aspect of him plays a major role in his arc.

Iron Might is built to specifically resemble Toshi's "ideal" body-- to the bitter cynics, this supports their idea that Toshi is unable to let go of "All Might" and hasn't learned to value himself or his life as Yagi Toshinori. To those who understand what Toshi's been going through and understand that his arc was never *just* about "living," though, it's a different story altogether. So much of Iron Might symbolizes Toshinori coming to terms with the fact that he is a disabled man, accepting that there was never anything shameful about this, accepting that it never needed to be "hidden away" for him to be a hero-- and ultimately, accepting that his body is 100% him and an undeniable aspect of what makes him a hero, no matter how injured.

"Who's that skinny guy?" KID, LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

There is a noticeable shift in Toshi's relationship with his body during Act 3-- We go from practically begging that Toshi's true form not be exposed to the public during Kamino, to Toshi encouraging that this fight be broadcast to the world. In the aftermath of Kamino and after losing the last embers of OFA, we still see Toshi forcibly shifting into his muscle form multiple times whenever he wants to "reassure" others, even though this process obviously hurts him:

The implications behind this are obvious: Toshi is not coping with the loss of his body as well as he lets on, and all those implications finally come to a painful head during the dark hero arc.

During his meeting with Stain, Stain outright refuses to recognize Toshi's "Muscle form" as "All Might" and instead makes it clear that it was Toshi's heroic soul that earned him the right to call himself a "true hero"--and that this "soul" still exists in everyone Toshi has ever saved. It never went away. The embers of OFA might have vanished, but the flames of Toshi's own heroism remain all around him-- they keep him warm and allow him to keep shining.

Toshi begins to accept his own body for the first time after his meeting with Stain-- we see him starting to reassure his friends as his authentic self instead of scrambling to shift back into his muscle form. During his last stand against AFO, he boldly shows the world his injured back, and wordlessly asks that they still express their faith in it and feel protected by it. His injuries are a part of him and his lived reality, and they're part of what makes him a human.

"--Because a hero's back exists to reassure others!"

Toshinori's body itself is ultimately included among his blessings that he weaponizes against AFO: his bonds, his origin, and his body-- no matter how badly injured it may be-- are all what defines him as a hero. Even if his back is no longer "broad," it will always be something that reminds others that "he is here."

During this fight, Toshinori reconciles his fractured identity by finally embracing all the aspects of himself that he'd previously grown distant from. Reflecting on the life he's led as Yagi Toshinori-- the life he led before he ever became "All Might" and the life he led after receiving his injuries and losing OFA-- is what gives him the strength to laugh in AFO's face, and it's what causes the light to finally return to his eyes. In the midst of a battle between life and death, we witness Toshinori being reborn.

He fully embraces his humanity during this fight, and then weaponizes that humanity against AFO (and considering AFO's character/how AFO is constantly attempting to escape his own humanity... it's pr delightful to see him getting his shit wrecked by another "god" who fell to earth and was forced to live his as a mortal, but ultimately realized that he loved it).

The battle ends with "All Might's" iconic shading now being used for Toshi's true form-- symbolizing the reconciliation between Toshi's heroic soul and his wounded but nevertheless heroic body.

As an aside: I also feel the context surrounding Iron Might/Toshi's body touches on MHA's theme of "consent versus nonconsent" as something that separates true heroes from true villains (starting from AFO forcing a quirk on Yoichi, cumulating with Toshi offering Izuku OFA and later making it clear that the quirk requires Izuku's explicit consent to be passed on-- OFA being born from an act of utter violation and then turned into something that explicitly requires consent always been one of my favorite aspects of MHA's lore, but I digress). During Kamino, AFO forcibly exposed Toshi's body to the world in an effort to completely humiliate him and destroy the public's image of him. Now, Toshi taking his power back and exposing his true form to the world entirely on his own terms.

"All that I've been blessed with will bear its weight against you!"-- or, Iron Might as a love letter.

I've talked on this point a lot bc it's what enamored me immediately with this fight (which is really about the depth of Toshinori's love and the love others have for him and his willingness to BE loved by others -versus- a man who takes advantage of the love others have for him and is utterly unable to leave his fragile heart at the mercy of others out of fear of ppl perceiving him), so I'll try to keep it brief:

Iron Might embodies the essence of how MHA defines love (love is admiration, love is imitation, love is seeing/watching, etc) while also acting as Toshinori's love letter to everything he wants to protect (himself and his life as "Yagi Toshinori" included). It also embodies the essence of how MHA defines true heroism (those who have been blessed should use their blessings for those who have not been blessed, those who can still act must act, etc etc etc ).

Toshi would not have been able to pull off Class 1A's moves or found the best way to integrate them into a cohesive fighting style without love as imitation/watching/admiration. (again, versus AFO, who at this point just randomly fires off powerful quirks without any actual respect for how the quirks work or how they can support each other, & who doesn't admire his own student beyond his capacity for rage).

This battle is a celebration of the bonds Toshi has allowed himself to form. It's him using everything he's ever been given and everything he's ever been blessed with to fight against a man who only knows how to take things away. Toshi has learned that OFA was never what made him a hero, that he can live without OFA-- and he's pitting the weight of that life against a man who is convinced that OFA is everything, who can't move on from it, and who has built his entire existence around getting it back. AFO wins the physical battle, sure, but Toshi remains the clear winner in the war of existences.

"This story is still being written, Toshinori."

Another aside: Names are everything in MHA, and that's especially true in the final act. MHA treats names like incantations, and “Do your best, Toshinori!” is the magic spell Toshi is using to motivate himself. Hori frequently uses how a person chooses to refer to themselves during key scenes as a way of emphasizing a person's mental state. From this, we can deduce that Toshi doesn't view this fight as All Might vs. AFO-- he views this fight as Toshinori vs. AFO.

Toshinori has weaponized his blessings and bonds and is now hitting back at AFO with the full weight of his complete existence. In this fight, he carves the joy of living-- of being Yagi Toshinori-- into AFO's barren, empty soul. Every scene he flashes back to is a scene of the life he has lived as Toshinori, not as All Might. This fight, just like the rest of the war, is all about "love" in all its various forms. AFO's abuse of love (both of his own deeply hidden love and of the love others have for him) is why he cannot win in a war where love is the essential element-- love is what keeps motivating everyone in this war to keep getting up, to keep struggling, to keep reaching out, etc etc etc.

Moving on.

"I'm quirkless. Born without a role." or, Iron Might as an act of defiance against both the narrative and the expectations of the 'battle manga' genre.

MHA being an example of stealth meta-fiction is something I've talked about before, particularly so with these two posts (plus... basically any post about our favorite cringefail LARPer, AFO).

Horikoshi takes full advantage of the medium/the fact that MHA is a manga and uses every tool that's available to both tell and enhance the story, and these chapters have cemented him as someone who has mastered his craft-- The decision to draw Toshi's true self with thick/bold lines after his armor breaks, the dark shadows finally leaving his eyes, Toshi consistently referring to himself by his own name instead of his hero name, the chapter titles, the backgrounds, etc etc etc all of it. Absolutely everything has meaning.

Through Iron Might, we once again delve into how the series chooses to define "quirklessness"-- the idea that quirklessness is meant to be a disability allegory gets more or less debunked (thankfully, since MHA already has a fairly good track record with depicting ACTUAL mental and physical illnesses/disabilities), with the narrative instead framing the possession of a quirk as something that determines what "role" a person gets in life. The implication being that not having a quirk means you don't get a role, period. You don't get to shine brightly on stage, you don't even get to be an "extra." This fits into the previously established idea that society's biases against "villainous quirks" basically railroad a lot of people onto the path of villainy (plus, the treatment of heroes/villains as fictional characters by the masses instead of viewing them as actual people). But, quirks are just quirks-- they're neither good or evil, and they aren't what determine whether a person is a hero or a villain. And as such, having or not having a quirk isn't what determines whether or not someone is truly a hero.

Toshinori is now defying the narrative that states that not having a quirk means you don't get a role. At the same time, he stands up against AFO-- our resident toxic comic book fanboy who sincerely believes Toshi should have picked Kamino as the best time to "bow out" (read: die) as a character-- who spews all sorts of vile things about the state of Toshi's body and how this is the primary reason why Toshi has no place in the story. The satire practically writes itself.

Like so many other characters, Toshinori uses the "role" of All Might as a coping mechanism for much of the series. As already stated, there is a disconnect between Toshinori's body and his soul--Toshi begins to use All Might as a mask to hide his feelings, his fears, and his humanity from the rest of the world. The series draws attention to the fact that the people forgot about the heart and soul--that is, the person-- behind All Might and started treating him like a character instead of a real person, and it's made clear that Toshinori forgot, too.

AFO is still trying to hide his true self in the role of the demon king, but Toshinori is no longer trying to hide himself behind All Might. AFO thinks Toshinori should have died in Kamino because that's where his "role" as a "character" ended, but Toshinori refuses that end. Both men find their origins in fiction (AFO from captain hero, Toshinori from Anpanman) but only Toshi has managed to reconcile his identity, break free of the story, and meet AFO head on as a human instead of a character. AFO is still hiding and refusing to engage with this story as a real person.

Toshi's overshadowed eyes are also heavily implied to be a side effect of him completely losing himself in the role of "All Might," rather than merely being the result of the injury he got from AFO-- we see that his eyes were already overshadowed long before he ever received his fateful injury, and the emphasis on shadowed eyes is also a design quirk that ties him to AFO (whose eyes were constantly hidden by shadows bc he was constantly LARPing as a demon lord instead of being authentic-- To drive this bit of visual story telling home, Hori emphasizes AFO's eyes whenever the "demon king" mask starts to slip and we start seeing peeks of what an utter sad sap of a person AFO is beneath the mask). It's a clever bit of show-don't-tell and another testament to Hori's art direction. Eyes are forever the window to the heart and soul in MHA, and Toshi reconnecting with his heart and soul-- with what defines him as a person-- is what finally causes the light to return to his eyes. The mask is fully off.

"Midoriya Izuku and Yagi Toshinori ~ Midoriya Izuku and Shigaraki Tomura ~ Shigaraki Tomura and....?"-- Or, Iron Might as a Narrative Tool.

(reminds u that the pivotal/trajectory changing chapters known as 304 and 305 were titled "Midoriya Izuku and Yagi Toshinori" and "Midoriya Izuku and Tomura Shigaraki". These three are the key!)

Changing gears for a sec and speaking purely from a writer's perspective: Iron Might simply couldn't have been included at Gunga and Toshi simply couldn't have remained locked up in a surveillance room for the entirety of the final battle-- because Toshinori's final destination as a character was always supposed to be the Izuku and Tomura fight. That's where his role as a character was always supposed to reach fruition and find his resolution:

"--I want to save that little boy!"

Aura!Might shedding tears when he realizes that Izuku wants to save Tomura and that Izuku has redefined OFA as something that exists to save is one of those underrated character moments that deserves more attention, because it's like. Everything. One of the most important scenes in the series by a large margin.

Izuku's declaration tells us everything we need to know about the trajectory of the series. Aura!Might crying in response to that declaration gives us everything we need to anticipate where his character is heading and to understand why Toshi's arc isn't over until he finally reconciles his business/regrets with Tomura & OFA/Nana.

it's heavily implied that real!Toshi was crying, too, after he felt what vestige!Izuku said. His eyes are hidden, but we see him briefly wiping his tears away. (and this is one of the many things I love about MHA-- there are so many lovely little details that add so much to the story. You just gotta be willing to look for them.)

Anyway! This point really speaks for itself, so I won't get into it too much: Tomura/Izuku's battlefield is where Toshi was always supposed to end up-- it's where he obviously needs to be to wrap up the loose strings in his arc, hear Izuku's "I am here" moment, and "change fate" by Izuku's side (not necessarily just his own fate, but also Tomura's). Iron Might is just a way that gets Toshi from point A to Point B while allowing Toshinori's character to shine as brightly as possible.

TL;DR The stage is finally set, the main characters have finally assembled, and now we get to see how the grand finale plays out.

-- -- -- -- --

In summation: Iron Might is sappy, sentimental, and fueled entirely by heart rather than logic-- and it's everything I love about this series.

#my hero academia #yagi toshinori #mha.txt #long post

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi, really love and enjoy your work. I wanted to request a Wednesday imagine. Its Wednesdayxreader but Platonic. The reader gets bullied and talked about and goes to Wednesday. She comforts her and cuddles them until they fall asleep. When reader wakes up Wednesday is still cuddles up to them, but later on they found out what she did to the bullies

A/n: since Wednesday ain’t the verbal type to comfort someone but I like to think that she shows her form in comforting someone by doing small mediocre things.

You reminded Wednesday too much of her brother; weak, lack the even the basic knowledge of self defence, susceptible to the manipulative nature of others and emotionally reactive in certain situations. So when you came to her one evening, soaked to the bone and looking like a wet dog. Wednesday couldn’t help but be remembered of the feeling she got whenever her brother got picked on, pushed over, forcibly tripped, shoved in a locker bound and gagged with a apple in his mouth like a roasted pig and or locked into the janitors closest.

The same protective feeling she got now as she looked into your sad, defeated eyes. Funny, she enjoyed seeing such devastation and disheartening on a persons face but whenever it came to you, Wednesday felt the exact opposite. She hated not being the primary reason for you grief and suffering much like she hated not being the reason her brothers suffering; after all it was her job to be a thorn in your side and she’d be damned if she let anyone else become the bane of your existence instead of her.

“What happened, you look as though you’ve just been thrown into Lake Eerie.”

“That’s because I have been thrown into Lake Eerie,” you told her as you squelched your way into the dorm, wet footprints trailing behind you, unceremoniously dropping your equally as soaked school bag to the floor; trying not to convey how cold you really were after being plunged into an unforgiving lake of pure ice. “By who?” Wednesday asked as she continued to type on her typewriter, uninterested but internally she was sharpening her throwing knives. “Some earwigging Harpies, why does it concern you.” You replied sourly and a little hurt that Wednesday didn’t seem all that perturbed, then again it was kinda your fault for getting hopeful about a potential upgrade of your relationship from aquatints to friends.

“You’re right,” Wednesday got up from her chair and moved over to her wardrobe where -with some help from Thing- she drew out a black long sleeved shirt along with some checkered sweats before placing them neatly on the edge of her bed, “it doesn’t concern me, what does however is the fact that your sogginess is going to make the floorboards mold.” You scoffed but before you could open your mouth Wednesday pointed towards the door that lead into the bathroom. “Take a shower, your chattering teeth are starting to irritate me.” Just as you were about to make your way towards the bathroom Wednesday spoke once more before sitting back down at her desk, “take the clothes I’ve prepared on the bed with you.” You did as you were told before closing the bathroom door shut behind you, locking it for good measure.

Once you emerged from the bathroom wearing the long sleeve and checkered sweats you noticed that during your much needed shower, Wednesday had prepared her bed as though she was going to call it a night but once she saw you from the corner of her eye, she drew back the covers and gestured to the bed before saying pointedly, “get in.” You blinked once, twice, three times before finding the voice to ask, “what?” Wednesday sighed, annoyed at the prospect of having to repeat herself although she was certain that the dunk you took didn’t do any vital damage to your hearing to hear her clearly. “I said get in the bed, you’ve exhausted your usefulness for today.”

Confused and unwilling to test her wintering patience, you walked over to her bed and began to make yourself comfortable as you drew the covers over yourself; just about ready to go to sleep when Wednesday did the most uncharacteristic thing you’ve ever seen her do and lay on top of the sheets next to you, her head rested just a mere centimetres from your neck but you could feel her warm breath all the same as her arm came across your waist, holding you there. “What’re you doing?” You balked, looking at Wednesday as though she might’ve been body snatched by something that obviously didn’t do their homework on how Wednesday Addams works. “I’m comforting you, now quit wasting your breath and sleep before I smother you.” You couldn’t help but allow a smile to slip across your face as you closed your eyes, eager to embrace sleep.

“You sure are something else Wednesday Addams, always keeping me on my toes.” You mused with a small chuckle.

“What did I just say about wasting your breath.” She warns, voice conveying a potential threat on your life should you continue to test her. “Alright, alright, I’m sleeping now. Geez, see you in the morning I guess.”

The next morning arrived and you were still breathing thankfully enough but to add on to that, Wednesday was sleeping soundly next to you in the same position as she assumed last night; However her head was now fully resting on your shoulder as her arm must’ve pulled you into her last night as it was fully encasing you almost like a seat belt. Just before you could say anything Enid bursted through the door with Yoko and Divina, who chose that they very much liked their tongues in their mouths and refrained speaking up on how Wednesday was practically laying on you like a cat. “Y/n! Wednesday! OMG you both need to come see what’s going off down at the Quad. Stat!” Enid cried, waking Wednesday, before darting back out into the hallway with Yoko and Divina as their chattered loudly.

“Remind me to threaten removing Enid’s canines should she wake me like that ever again.” Wednesday said as she hoisted herself up from the bed as you did the same and were about to leave the dorm for yours to change into some fresh clothes. “I’ll make a note of it and give it to you when I meet you at the quad.” You quipped as you left her dorm without another word spared between the two of you. Once you and Wednesday arrived at the quad, you both noted how crowed it was with students that it was almost impossible to see what everyone was gawking at; Luckily Xavier and Ajax were easily seen up at the very front with their height as they both laughed at whatever they were seeing.

“How are we meant to see what Enid was raving about when there’s too many people in the way obscuring the view.” You complained loudly, which caught the boys attention as they turned to look at you before they each grabbed ahold of you by the shoulders, positioned you in front of them so you could see what everyone was finding so funny. Standing there humiliated, was the group of harpies that shoved you into Lake Eerie but one would hardly be able in calling them Harpies when they looked like featherless newborn chickens with all their feathers removed. You almost chocked back on your laughter when you saw them before looking over at Wednesday who had a look of pride in her dark eyes.

You leaned over next to her, “thank you.” You whispered in her ear. Instead of out right denying your assumption that she was behind the Harpies humiliation, Wednesday merely shot you a glance and said “no one gets to torment you but me.”

#Wednesday imagines #Wednesday imagine #Wednesday fic #Wednesday fanfic #Wednesday x reader #Wednesday x you #Wednesday Addams x reader #Wednesday Addams x you #Wednesday Addams fanfic #Wednesday Addams fic #Wednesday Addams imagines #Wednesday Addams imagine

[jisunghannie]

Our Winter Night

PAIRING: Lee Know x fem!reader

WARNING: Swearing is used in this story. Lots of angst.

SUMMARY: You loved Minho with every bit of your heart. The worse thing is that he didn't love you back. You had to endure him give his heart to another woman under the snow fall. The same snow fall that you guys had made a promise under.

WORD COUNT: 3,059

A/N:

.°•○>><<○•°. = POV switch

.°• ✿ •°. = Flashback/Present time

`○°.• ✿ •.°○` = Timeskip

Highly recommend you listen to Gone Away from the NoEasy album while you read!

I'm really debating if I should make a fluffy ending and or a part 2 with fluff because this just didn't feel right with a sad ending for y/n. If you guys are interested let me know!!

As your phone beeps, you check the message. It was from Minho.

LK: You wanna come over? My girlfriend wants to meet you.

y/nnie: I'm busy right now, maybe next time :)

LK: Awh, okay, see you next time.

You sat on the swings, the cold air hitting your face. You really did not want to believe that the person that you loved for so long had found another. It hurt your heart as you turned to the other swing.

Of course, it was empty. The empty seat used to be filled by Minho. You missed him a lot but there was nothing much you could do. He was with his lover. Why else would he text you at this time or at all if it wasn't?

You didn't know what happened or went wrong. The memories in this park that you two shared. The words and secrets you guys exchanged. You didn't know how to feel anymore. It seemed like a dream rather than reality. As tears rolled down your cheeks. You tried remembering what went wrong between you guys.

.°• ✿ •°.

"Hello.." A boy said.

"Hi there." You said, looking at the short boy in front of you.

"Is this swing taken?" He asked shyly. You shook your head, and he sat on the swing with you.

"What's your name?" You asked him as he looked at you. "Minho..." He said as you smiled. "I'm y/n, and I'm 12!" You said beaming, reaching out your hand. "I'm 14..." He said. "Dang, you're old." You said bluntly. "I know..." He said dejectedly. "Don't worry, it's a good thing!" You said. “What are you doing here at the park Minho?” You asked. He was silent for a minute and then looked at you, “Sorry, not to be mean but, why do you ask so many questions?” He asked as you made a sound of offense. “Sorry! I didn't mean it like that!” You then got off the swing. “Why you!” After that you chased after him.

That was your first interaction with him. As you guys got older, you met there every day. Soon, the park became secluded, and it was your guys' secret spot. You guys met there every day. One day in winter, he told you he had news for you.

"What's wrong, Minho?" You asked, holding his hands. He smiled brightly. "You remember when I told you that I was a trainee for a new group called Stray Kids?" He asked as you nodded. "I'm now debuted!" He said as your face shone in awe. "That's amazing!" You said tackling him on the floor. You both laughed after that.

That's when the snow began to fall. You smiled at the snowflakes as one touched Minho's nose. You both laughed as you watched the snow fall and each of the individual snowflakes fall.

"Awh, look at those two." You pointed to a pair of snowflakes stuck on each other. "Do you think they'll separate?" You asked as he sighed, "Snowflakes are like life, someone people are destined to be and some find their way to each other." As he finished saying that, another snowflake landed on them. One of the snowflakes fell off and melted alone while the other two snowflakes melted together. "Did you see that?! That snowflake stole that snowflake's lover!" You exclaimed looking at a laughing Minho. "Sometimes life is like that. But," He said he walked over to the snowflakes, they didn't completely melt yet and as you both looked at it. The two snowflakes that were originally stuck together stuck together in the end before fully melting. "They'll always find a way back." He finished looking deep into your eyes.

"One day, I'll have enough to give you whatever you want. Then after," He kissed your forehead. "I'll take you as my wife." He said gently with a smile. As you smiled and blushed, "Don't say things like that, Minho! What if you end up meeting someone else! Like that snowflake did!" You said, sitting up as he smiled at you. "Then fight for me to keep looking at you the way that I do." He said as he looked at you with pure adoration. He took your hands in his. "So that way we can be together forever like those snowflakes in the end." He said as you nodded, hugging him close.

.°• ✿ •°.

You don't know what went wrong, but over time, he did meet someone. At age 22, he told you that he met someone. You were heartbroken, but you couldn't really do much. No matter how much you wanted to be the one he wanted.

'Then fight for me to keep looking at you the way that I do. So that way we can be together forever like those snowflakes.'

You remembered him say, as you held out his hand.

"Wait... please don't go... Minho, please..." You said, desperately wanting him there. You held his hand as he turned to look at you. "I will remember what you said... and for that. I'm not going to stop fighting for you..." You said as he smiled at you. "What are you talking about? I'm not leaving anytime soon, silly." Minho said, patting your head. "I'm not going to let you be bewitched by another. I'll do whatever it takes to have you look at me the same way you did the day that you told me to keep fighting for you." You said as he held his hands.

He smiled at you. "Keep it up then, but I won't be leaving you anytime soon." He said, pulling away from your hold. You felt as if your world had fallen apart as you watched Minho walk away from you. You wanted to find the invisible red string of fate that linked you two together. You guys met for a reason, and you knew it wasn't just to be torn apart. You wanted to keep chasing after him. Hoping he would look at you the same way he did years ago.

As time went on, day by day, week by week, month by month, another year passed. You were at your guys' usual spot. You knew it was pointless to meet there anymore but you still waited to see if Minho would show. As you looked at the swings. You looked at the empty swing next to you. Hoping it would be full once again, just as your heart would be knowing that it was you and him against the world. However, you knew that was wishful thinking. Once it reached 12 am, you walked home. It was the beginning of the new year.

On your way home. You saw the snow fall and you smiled. Recalling all the memories with Minho, and just then, you saw Minho holding hands with a girl. Most likely his girlfriend, you never got to meet her but by the way he treated her it sure looked like it.

"Mi-" You were cut off by the sounds of fireworks. He laughed as he pulled her in for a kiss. As you watched, heart breaking, watching them kiss under the stars. The lamppost above them, brightening their features and obvious love for each other. You looked at them. Realizing that his heart was no longer yours. You couldn't keep fighting for a pointless relationship. Minho was happy, so you should be as well.

You walked by them. Minho not even acknowledging you were there as you saw him wrap his scarf around his new found lover. The scarf that you had made for him for his 21st birthday. Your heart ached as you went home.

Once you reached home, you fell to the floor and began to start crying. Finally letting out all the anguish from the year before tonight. You hated that you loved him so much. You hated seeing him with another girl. You hated how much care he had for her. You hated her. But what you hated most, was why couldn't he have loved you like that. Why did she have to be the one he held so dear to him?

You cried from that night up until morning. You didn't come out of your house. And just then your phone beeped.

LK: You want to meet up? I'm free today! I feel bad for not meeting up with you like we usually do every year.

y/nnie: It's okay, I'm not in town, I'm with my parents so I'll see you whenever.

LK: Awh, okay, see you soon!

y/nnie: 👍🏻

You lied. All because of the state you were in because of him. You thought Minho would've known better because he knew that you didn't have connections to your family anymore. You only talked to your grandma, who passed 2 years ago. She took care of you, and you always told her about Minho. She always said, "People like you two are meant to be. You guys aren't soulmates by choice but soulmates by fate. It's just the way of the world. I just want to see you guys happy."

She always told you that. So why wasn't she right? Why did he love another then? Why did he have to go off and date someone completely new when someone he's known all his life was right by him? All these questions raced through your head as you cried even more.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Minho didn't understand. That text, back with your parents? You don't have connections with them anymore. So why would you still talk to them? Better question, how would you be able to talk to them?

"Babe..?" A voice broke his thought train. "Morning princess." He said kissing his lover on her head. "I have to go check up on a friend." He said simply and vaguely as she nodded. "I'll cook breakfast so don't worry." She had said as he smiled, "Thanks, you're the best." He said as he grabbed his stuff and left.

He hoped that you were home but if you weren't he always had the keys to check and open.

Once he got there, he knocked. No response. So he knocked again. No response. He got paranoid, so he unlocked the door. Hoping to see you, but what he saw was a sad y/n, sulking on the couch.

"Y/nnie?"

.°•○>><<○•°.

"Y/nnie?"

You heard Minho's voice. 'Oh no. Please no.' You thought as he sat next to you.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked as he wiped your tears from your cheeks. You gritted your teeth and pushed his hands away. He looked at you with surprise. Usually you never push him away so why was it so different this time around?

"Don't touch me! With those hands that touched your lover!" You shouted at him. Now he was confused. "Of course these hands or so you call it, have touched my lovers cheeks and hands, so what do you mean?" He asked you confused. "How can you touch me knowing that you love another woman!" You shouted, hitting his chest. "You wiped my tears off my cheeks like how you would if I was the one you loved!" You hit his chest again. "You told me to keep fighting for you when you have no memory of it!" You hit his chest. "So why..." Your hands now rested on his chest. "Why are you making me go through all this pain only for you to give your love to someone else..." You said as you began to cry even more. As he reached out to wipe your tears you stood up. "Don't touch me damn it! I'm tired of playing these mind games with you!" You yelled, startling him. "I don't want to seem like the friend that doesn't want you to be happy. But you need to choose. If you walk out that door. You have chosen your life with her. If you choose me, you will stay, hug me and tell me you're sorry." You said.

Once the ultimatum was given, Minho stood up and hugged you. You were shocked by his actions as you hugged him back. He felt so warm. This was the warmth you missed. You couldn't believe he was actually going to stay with-

"I'm sorry..." He said sadly. You smiled slightly that he was following your request. "But I can't keep her waiting. I love you dearly, but as one of my friends..." He said as you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. "I love her with every bit of my heart. I can't do this to her. Not when she's been so good to me..." He said, breaking free from your grasp. Walking out of the door.

You fell to the floor. Feeling defeated. You couldn't believe that you lost not only your first love, but your best friend.

.°• ✿ •°.

It had been 2 more years, into the present now. you still couldn't delete Minho's number so you decided to keep it. How would you be able to delete it? He was the one you loved, but Minho was still with his lover of 3 years. And what hurt was that no matter how hard you tried to move on. You couldn't, everything reminded you of Minho. These past few years you've been going on dates back to back. Unable to date any of them.

You dug back into your memory trying to recall each reason why you stopped talking or dating each.

.°• ✿ •°.

The first boy you went on a date with. He was such a sweetheart. But the way he paid for your food and walked you home reminded you of Minho.

The second boy, he constantly made you laugh but one of the jokes he used was Minho's signature joke. You had a thought of Minho and excused yourself. You went home that night thinking of Minho again.

The third one, you met at a bar for a second date. He bought you a drink but you weren't feeling like drinking. You tried getting away from him but he was getting aggressive. That's when Minho saved you. You weren't answering your phone trying to ignore him. When he took you home you guys had another argument.

"Seriously y/n? If I didn't check your location or had gotten there a second later something would've seriously gone wrong!" He yelled at you as he drove. "I never asked to be saved!" You yelled back. "Damn it, I'm trying to tell you something here!" He said pulling over, now looking into your eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't choose you. You have to understand that I cannot reciprocate your feelings. However, that doesn't mean that you can just go and date many guys-" He was cut off by your screaming, "How do you think I feel?! Huh?! Have you ever once thought that hypothetically you and your girlfriend break up and every little thing she does is ingrained in your memory so much that when you talk to or date other girls she pops up into your head?!" You yelled. "If not then I don't want to hear anything!"

He was stunned. He didn't expect you were hurting this bad.

"Y/n... I'm-"

"Stop apologizing if you aren't going to reciprocate my feelings!" You yelled even louder this time. Your voice cracking. "You think that saying sorry will fix anything?! You think that you being here as a friend will do me any good?!" You sobbed out. "One day I'll see you waiting at the altar. Looking at someone who isn't me. Loving someone who isn't me. Kissing and holding someone who isn't me. Why the hell are you apologizing!" You yelled between hiccups and sobs. "You apologizing is just making me realize that I'm losing my chances of being with you Minho." You said more quietly and vulnerable this time. You couldn't take it anymore.

He reached out and tucked your hair behind your ear and cupped your face.

"I do love you... I really do y/n. A long time ago. But you have to understand. As we get older, we lose feelings and grow." He said as you looked at him hurt. "Then why didn't you say anything..?" He sighed and looked away. "For the same reason you're hurting so badly." He said as you slapped him. "You think that I wouldn't love you after being so close with you for so long..." You said no longer sad, but upset. Angry at the fact he would even assume that. "You think I wouldn't even give you a chance?!" You yelled, tears rolling down, your voice loud and clear. "God, you told me that you and I would get married Minho! You think I wouldn't have taken a chance to take the opportunity I would've had to be with you?!" You yelled, visibly angry. "You're so selfish. I hate you." You said. Unbuckling your seatbelt, opening the car door, and leaving him. Leaving him cupping the cheek you slapped. As snow had just started falling.

.°• ✿ •°.

You realized that the last conversation you had with Minho was an argument. The last words being, 'I hate you.' You laughed as tears rolled down your cheeks. You couldn't hate him. As you thought of him, you cried. Knowing that he was the sun and you were a star. He shined the brightest and yet you were only there, hidden by his bright light. You were captivated by it, but it was never your light to have.

As you sat on the swing, you waited for Minho to come back to you like that snowflake did. But he never did. You were now 23 and he was 25. When he made you that promise you were 17 and he was 19. You couldn't believe that it had been 6 long years.

You finally accepted it. But, if you already accepted it, why were you still crying? Why did your heart still hurt? Why? You didn't understand, you wanted to but you knew some questions were better unanswered. As you looked at the sky, you saw the snow fall. You saw the snowflakes and all the memories that came with them as you sobbed. You weren't sad anymore. You were happy, you were happy that you got to spend time with him. Even if the one he loved wasn't you.

#skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz #skz angst #skz imagines #skz lee minho #skz lee know #skz minho #lee minho #stray kids minho #minho #lee know x reader #lee know #lee know imagines #lee know angst #lee minho angst #lee minho x reader #stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids lee know #stray kids lee minho #stray kids imagines #straykids angst #straykids minho #straykids lee know

[satocidal]

Hewoo :3

Random thought but imagine if during Suguru's spiral his literal ideal type appeared and it makes him feel like she's his spring and he tries so hard to be around her and all of that, especially when the next spring catches them and he catches himself thinking "I shouldn't have caught another spring, yet there I am, aching for her presence"🥺

You can do whatever you wish with this or just ignore it if it doesn't suit you, honestly T-T

I might come with more thoughts bcs I have heavy Suguru brainrot

~🦊

PLEASE do come with more because I love this and support suguru brain rot agenda always.

Tw: mentions of death and I know I haven’t written exactly what was asked💀but it sort of revolves around it but yeah

No because something tells me, his type of woman, that is, his preference is less dependant of physical attributes but more so on the personality. Like don’t get wrong, he does like what he sees, all the damn time too, but that wasn’t what made him fall for you. Geto prefers, in simple words, being the moth to a flame — Masochistic? Maybe, but just something about a love where it can and possibly does harm him initially intrigues him—he is the one of the strongest afterall, however could you hurt him? Oh, but you did—with pretend ignorance and mock obliviousness. I think Suguru prefers a girl who’s different to him—now, perceive this as you please, he could love a feminine person(not to be gender specific here but yk), at the same time, he likes louder ones—confident around everyone else and the ones that turn to a puddle around him. You see, it makes him feel alive. It makes him feel that he made you feel something and to him, is always more than enough. Suguru’s type is a person who’s like the breath of summer and the Night of A Spring.

It shouldn’t have happened, not really, not at all—not then.

Careful; he should’ve been careful, and alert. For now he sat in the corner of the room, in a part he didn’t want to be at—with people he didn’t know, wearing clothes he watched to tear apart and let his body breathe—but all on top of that, stood you.

“Wanna join me in this party tonight?” Glossed lips and bashful grin—it didn’t take much, or any persuasion for that matter for him agree. Now, he wasn’t sure why he agreed, or if he did at all and you just assumed his dazed nod, something very natural he’s gotten along doing you, to be a yes.

So now he sat alone in the corner, eyes drafting to every movement of yours, your hips swung— left, right,left —he’d been observing you for a while now, anyone observing him would deem him a stalker at this point.

“What is your type in women?” The question rang in his mind again—something, weirdly enough that had been bouncing back into his mind every few days—his type? He’d wondered then, not really sure.

But he knew now, one look at you and he knew what his type was. One look at you and your silly graphic t-shirt of some anime and he knew his favourite fandom; one look at your converse and he knew his next expenditure; one look at your hair and he knew his hands were perfect to braid them; one look at you and he knew, he knew, he wanted to wait.

Wait everything out—in midst of all that was happening, in the midst of a tragedy his eyes had spotted you. Trained themselves to even see you as he slept (I mean dream of you, not in a creepy way lol).

To where his mind once questioned his existence, he now lay wondering if you liked poppies better of roses. To where he once questioned running away, he now knew he’d run away to you. He could run away to you.

Suguru used to feel he was nothing but a sad, lonely, tired winter, trudging along until the better Spring came about—until the spring made people forget of him- until the winter was no more.

Wrong.

But then again, could you blame him at all? In those black sweatshirts and black pants he’d assumed he’d find himself dead- in that cold shivering winter he thought he’d end—in that gloom, he thought, he wouldn’t continue any longer, he couldn’t. He didn’t know, right? He didn’t know, didn’t want to know, if he could at all live to see another Spring.

When he saw you, the question wasn’t to catch a spring or no, but the fact that he managed to and he considered you his achievement, the most prized one. He could sit and deny it to himself, as he’d tried initially but no, he ached for you. Day and night, he ached for you.

So pitifully wrong he knew he was back then, as your form approached him, a grin on your face, “C’mere,” you’d shouted over the music—so wrong he was.

For while you pulled him closer on the dance floor, of a party he disliked, he clung onto you- his dark hair ruffling to your shoulders too—for just then he knew that you were his Spring. You made him forget about his lonely, tired winter, you made him breathe. As you wrapped your hands around his neck and danced close to him, nothing romantic and yet he wouldn’t complain because Suguru lived every moment spent, had it been around you, basking in your Spring.

And as he held you close, supporting himself with you, knowing you loved it too, he smiled.

—

“What’s your favourite colour?” You’d asked with a grin, brown raised and a chart in your hand, “We’re gonna paint your house that colour!”

He’d smiled, and before he could say anything at all, “Wait let me guess,” you chimed in quickly, “Yellow? The light kind,” a smile adored your lips, a squeal bursting to escape and it did too as he nodded with a chuckle.

Your arms found themselves wrapped around him, “I know you so well,” you’d laughed and stared into his eyes—he stared in to yours, knowing all too well that until the word ‘yellow’ had escaped your lips, he was sure he hadn’t known that colour properly at all. And now that you’d said ‘yellow’ he knew he’d fallen in love with a colour too—a colour of life, he’d smiled.

But the truth lay all too bare for until you had said the word ‘yellow’ Suguru hadn’t found his favourite colour at all.

#I just mean he’d be smitten. #as he should be and he clings to you #like at all times like a kitten #I love this (like the idea) so much though #pretty baby deserved so much better #hope you like it—it isn’t the best but at 6:30 am this is all I can do<3 #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo x reader #suguru geto #jjk #from.🦊baby #☼࿐𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠→ #geto x y/n #geto x you #suguru geto x reader #geto fluff #suguru geto fluff #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk fluff

[moonlightazriel]

Bright as the Stars /// A Feysand Fic

Summary: Solstice comes around the corner and Rhysand has a special night planned for his mate.

Warnings: Fluffy and Smut

Word Count: 3,2K

Notes: My second year doing this and it's just as nice and funny as the first time. This is my gift for the @acotargiftexchange made especially for @itsthedoodle, i really hope you enjoy it, cuz i certainly did writing this piece.

Main Masterlist

Feyre took a deep breath, the city smelled like cinnamon, freshly cut trees, and mint. The winter solstice was just two days away and she had some last-minute shopping to do, Morrigan happily chatted with a fae behind the counter, trying to get a discount on a pair of emerald earrings for Amren. 

She had gotten gifts for everyone, but she still needed to find the perfect piece for Rhysand, her mate. After the events of Under the Mountain, she felt the mating bond snapping into place as she was ready to leave for Spring Court with Tamlin, when they got back home, she knew that it wouldn’t be fair to neither of them to keep pursuing a relationship with Tamlin. She wanted to explore the bond and he understood, thanking her for showing him love and compassion and telling her that he wanted her to be happy, even if that meant they wouldn’t be together anymore.

He had helped her reach out to Rhysand, and as the bond had snapped for him at the same time, Rhys immediately made sure to bring his mate home, wanting to know her, to be with her, he needed her, and now that he had her, he would never let her go again.

She sighed, looking around at the kids running from their parents, and the snow falling from the skies, everything felt magical in Velaris, she would never get used to it, a tiny snowflake fell on her open hand and she admired the intricate pattern it had. A warm hand squeezed her shoulders and she turned, to see Mor with the biggest grin and a box with the earrings in between her fingers. 

“We need to have hot chocolate, I’m freezing.” Mor said, walking towards one of the many coffee shops, filled with clients enjoying their meals. “This is the best one in the city, go have a seat, I’ll order for us.” 

Conversations filled her ears, and she just enjoyed the smell of fresh coffee beans, and cherry from a pretty pastry a few tables away. Feyre then thought of her sisters, Rhys was sending them money every month, and she wanted to visit but would her sisters welcome her? Years of sadness and loneliness filled her chest but she tried to shake the feelings away, they were doing just fine. And Feyre now had people who cared about her, people who would never leave her alone again. 

“Here.” Morrigan placed a plate with a chocolate chip cookie in it, and a steaming mug of hot chocolate, Feyre reached for the mug, the nice warmth spread on her hands even through the glove and she took a sip, the creamy texture melted in her tongue, her tastebuds almost hummed in delight with the flavor.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever had.” Feyre hummed and Morrigan giggled, taking a bite of her cookie. 

“Are you excited for your first solstice? With your new life and everything.” Her intense brown eyes scanned the freckles that peppered her nose. 

“It feels weird to be getting gifts for everyone when I couldn’t even afford to feed myself a few years back.” Morrigan silently nodded, feeling her heart squeeze in her chest whenever she thought about how much Feyre had to fight to survive, proud filled her then, as she looked at her friend, stronger than ever and still gentle and kind. “But it also feels nice feeling that I belong somewhere.” Feyre gave her a small smile, to which Morrigan replied with a gentle squeeze on her hand. 

“You’re home now, Fey.” Her heart clenched in her chest, she hadn’t felt at home in a long time. She was thankful for all the sacrifices she had to make to be in this very moment right now. The hollowness and loneliness that filled her to the point of suffocating for so many years, is now gone and replaced by unconditional love for the family that chose her. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Colorful balls hung from the ceiling, decorated with glitter, a very sticky one that glued to Feyre’s fingers and hair, Rhys watched as the light would sometimes refract on the sparkly substance, making the female glow in front of his eyes. 

“Cassian, if you drop those damned lights again, I’ll hang you instead.” Azriel hissed, making the room burst into laughter, but Rhys could only watch the little dimples in the corners of her mouth and the slight scrunch of her blue eyes, as she curled forward, laughing with joy at Azriel's annoyed stance. He playfully rolled his eyes and kept trying to hang the lights that pooled at his feet. 

Feyre scanned the room, the inner circle helping set the decorations in the House of Wind. She was excited for the Winter Solstice, for the first time since she could remember, she would have a proper celebration, Elain would always braid her hair and place a flower behind her ear, claiming that Feyre’s special day should always be celebrated despite the conditions they had. 

Mor offered her another glass filled with wine and she took a sip, the sweet grapery taste filled her mouth and she shook her head a bit, she was never the strongest for alcohol, and with the few sips she already had, she felt her cheeks getting warmer. 

“Having fun, pretty girl?” Rhysand purred into her mind and her eyes darted toward him, the blush getting more intense as she noticed how he was already looking at her, she didn’t know why, but whenever he looked at her like that, like she was the only female he could ever love, she would get shy under his gaze, but she loved it anyway. 

“Are you?” She replied in his mind, wiggling her eyebrows at him. He smiled at her, shaking his head as he approached her, cradling her pretty face, stroking her cheek to wipe some of the glitter, and placing a stubborn strand of hair behind her pointy ear again. 

“I know you’re excited about the solstice tomorrow night, but I think it’s a nice time to let you know I have different plans.” Those big blue eyes blinked at him in confusion.

“I thought we were going to be spending here, with our family.” Rhysand almost dropped to his knees, hearing her calling his family, her family, made his heart melt, and he sent a wave of love down the bond.

“We will, we’re having lunch with them, but I have a surprise for you.” Feyre almost started to clap like a happy kid, the thought of having a surprise made just for her made her slightly drunk brain fill with happiness, she couldn’t wait for it.

“What is it?” She tried, knowing very well that Rhysand wouldn’t tell her, she even went as far as to try to see it by herself but his mental shields were held high up. 

“Easy, pretty girl. You’re going to know what it is at the right time.” He lowered his head, and the tip of his nose brushed against hers, Feyre closed her eyes, waiting for him to close the gap between their lips, but she felt his warm lips on her forehead instead, and Cassian cleared his throat, forcing her to remember they weren’t alone in the room.

She playfully groaned, opening her eyes and starting to get away from Rhys, reaching for more decorative balls so she could go back to decorating the house for tomorrow night. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Her belly hurt from how much she had laughed today, the lunch with the inner circle was just like it always was, filled with funny stories from their past and lots of food. Feyre was still thinking about Morrigan’s jokes as she rubbed her skin, the strawberry scent filled the room as she rubbed the pink foam on her legs. 

She scrubbed her scalp until she was happy with the results, climbing out of the tub and wrapping a towel around her hair and her body. The fog from the hot water still filled her room as she stepped out, and a cold breeze made her shiver. She eyed her dress, a long black dress glued to her body with a slit on one leg and tiny sleeves that fell just above her shoulders. 

She sat on her desk, removed the towel, and started to style it in loose blonde curls, a shade of brown coated her eyelids, and some eyeliner and mascara highlighted her eyes, a nude shade of lipstick was applied to perfect her plump lips. Feyre stared at herself for a minute, happy with the result, feeling pretty. She finished her look with some ruby earrings and went to put her dress on. 

The dress was spectacular, making her feel like a goddess of the night, Feyre strapped her heels just in time to hear a knock on her door. Dressed in fancy clothing, Azriel and Cassian stood by the other side of the door, bowing to her and Cass offered her his hand.

“We’re here to escort you, my lady.” He said in a posh tone, making the three of them laugh. She took his hand, and he guided the way, with Azriel following close behind. They walked down the stairs of the Townhouse, Mor was facing Rhys, fixing his bow tie before she turned to her with the biggest grin. 

Rhysand was absolutely perfect, hair slicked back, and in formal clothes. Feyre almost gasped at how handsome he looked, she couldn’t believe that such a male was her mate, she was so lucky. In three quick steps, he was in front of her, taking her hand away from Cassian and pulling her with him. 

“I don’t believe that there’s anyone as beautiful as you, and I don’t think there will ever be.” Feyre hid her face in his chest, feeling her cheeks getting hot at the compliment, Rhysand was always so good with his words. 

“You don’t look bad either.” She said and he ran a hand over his smooth hair. 

“I always look good, Feyre darling.” He pulled her closer by the waist. “Are you ready to go?” The female happily shook her head and Rhys winnowed the two of them, the cold winds and the strong smell of mist and night stars filled her senses as Rhys did his thing. 

The Moonstone Palace was decorated with little lights floating in the space above their heads, tiny snowflakes fell and the winds roared outside, but with the power around the space, they couldn't feel a thing, Rhysand’s power warming the place on a comfortable level. 

They headed to the balcony where a table was set with various foods and champagne, the stars shone on a veil of black in the sky, making the whole atmosphere even more magical. Feyre gasped, petals of white roses coated the floor, and Feyre almost cried at it, Rhysand still remembered how red made her feel even months after the events of Under the Mountain. 

“I have no words to express how much I love this.” She started, using her pinky fingers to wipe the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. “No one has ever done something like this for me before.” Rhysand pulled a chair for her.

“Glad to be the first, then.” He sat in front of her, flicking his hands and a soft melody started to play, Feyre looked around trying to spot where the sound was coming from but to no avail. 

The food served was a combination of green salad, mashed potatoes with sautéed carrots, roasted chicken with green sauce, and a little sweet bread accompanied the food. The flavors flooded her mouth and they ate looking at the stars, casually exchanging some words. 

“You have some sauce right here.” Rhysand licked his thumb, reaching to wipe the sauce from the corner of her mouth, and applying gentle pressure on her skin, he took the thumb back to his own mouth, licking it clean as he kept eye contact with her, making Feyre swallow harshly. 

“I was always a messy eater.” She joked, remembering the times Nesta would scold her for eating like “a wild animal”. Rhys got up, extending a hand to her. 

“Would you like to dance?” The soft music was still playing in the background, Feyre allowed herself to be conducted by him, dancing under the stars, the slow dance made her heart swell with happiness and love, flooding the bond and Rhysand responded with his own feelings, such an intimate moment just for the two of them to appreciate.

Rhysand felt that he could be his true self around her, without judgment, that she would love all the parts of him despite how ugly they were. And all he could do was to love her in return, with every fiber of his being, he would love her until their time on this earth was over, and even then, people would still talk about the High Lord who loved his mate so much that he captured the stars, just for her. 

He slowly reached for his back pocket, hands grabbing the small box that was safely tucked away in his suit ever since he got ready later that evening. He pulled the box out, lifting it to the level of her eyes. The song slowly stopped and the eyes that had been closed during the whole dance started to slowly open until Feyre spotted the box.

Curiosity filled her being and she slowly reached for the box, opening it she found the most beautiful gift in the world. A crystal ball, held by a silver chain, glowing like a thousand suns. 

“You loved Starfall so much, that I thought that maybe you would want to have a star for yourself.” Rhys motioned for her to turn around, the crystal was cold against her skin as he clasped the piece together, turning Feyre again by her waist, he watched in awe as the star glowed against her skin, absolutely beautiful. 

“Rhys, this is…” She couldn’t finish as a sob parted through her open lips, tears of joy streamed down her face and she tried to control herself, but as she held the gift in her hands, it was almost impossible to stop crying. 

“I know.” He said, pulling her close. No words were needed when he could see the happiness that filled her eyes, how thankful she was for such a thoughtful gift. Feyre had never received something so perfect in her entire life, she would remember this for the rest of her life, and she would keep it around her neck, cradled near her heart for eternity. 

Feyre slowly lifted her head, lips quivering as she reached for him, closing the gap between their lips, his hands held her close as they kissed, a gentle brush of her lips against his at first, then slowly deepening the kiss, he guided them to a pile of covers and pillows resting at a corner, Rhys had intended that they would watch the stars and talk but if Feyre wanted to do something else, he was down for it. 

Laying her down, his hands slowly traveled down to her feet, strapping the heels off one after the other, then coming back up as he kissed her again, kicking his own shoes off. Her hands pulled the coat of his attire off, leaving him in just a white linen shirt. They kissed until their lungs begged to be filled with air. 

The smell of her arousal was driving him insane, he reached for the zipper at her side, brushing his hands over her right breast before he pulled it down, bringing the whole dress along. Her breasts spilled and he wetted his lips at the sight of her, Feyre was magnificent. 

“It’s unfair that I’m naked and you’re all covered.” Feyre pouted as Rhys finished removing her dress and underwear.

“Your wish is my command.” He replied, getting up and removing his clothes as quickly as he could. He looked down at her, where she lay with nothing but the star necklace illuminating her skin, and those mesmerizing eyes focused on him, Rhysand knew he was the luckiest male that ever walked on this planet. 

Feyre was ready for him as he got on top of her again, his finger easily sliding in with the wetness that pooled around her core, his thumb circled the bundle of nerves and she moaned, a beautiful little moan that hunted him ever since he heard it for the first time. 

“I need you Rhys.” She begged, her breath ragged as she looked at him. He nodded, grabbing his throbbing cock in his hands, pumping it two times before he slid inside her all the way down. She hugged him, preventing him from moving, just feeling him inside her for a while, the fullness she felt would always warm her body.  

“You are absolutely perfect, Feyre darling.” He purred, starting to slowly move his hips against her. Feyre cupped his face, thumb tracing his eyebrows, eyes, nose, cheekbones, and lips, Rhys melted with her touch, feeling the warmth that spread through his chest. 

He lowered his head, capturing her lips again, kissing her as his life depended on it, hips snapping against hers, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the whimpers she left, muffled by his lips, were the only things that filled the room at the moment. He kept moving, Feyre’s nails scratching his back as he made love to her. 

Rhysand caressed the bond, sending all of his love down the golden thread between them. Feyre felt the knot in her belly growing until it was ready to snap. He slid in and out, fast and hard, again and again until Feyre was clenching around him. Caging his cock inside her as she moaned his name, her walls milking him, making him spill his seed inside her, coating her walls in the white slick. 

He rested his forehead against hers, the two of them catching their breaths, chests moving up and down at a rapid pace. He kissed her forehead, meeting her blue eyes. 

“I love you.” He watched as Feyre moved her fingers, a velvety box appearing in between her hands, he smiled at her, he had shown her this little trick a few months ago. She popped the box up, revealing two identical rings inside. 

“Marry me!” She blurted and he felt all the strength of his body vanish, his knees almost buckling at the question, he expected any gift from her, but not the only thing he’d wanted the most.

“Of course, I’ll marry you.” He replied, feeling the tears in his eyes, kissing her on the lips, then he kissed her, on different spots of her face as she giggled. He got out of her, laying down by her side, pulling her to his chest. With the box in his hands, he reached for the smaller ring, sliding in her finger. Feyre copied his movements, sliding the bigger ring on his finger.

“Always and forever.” She whispered, his violet eyes met her. 

“Always and forever.” The two of them lay there, watching the stars. A shooting star passed in the sky and Feyre gasped.

“Quick, make a wish.” Rhys turned to his side, kissing her forehead.

“I already have everything that I need, right by my side.”

#acotar #sarahjmaas #moonlightazriel #night court #velaris #fluff #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acotar fic #feyre acotar #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand #rhysand acotar #rhysand #feysand #acotar gift exchange #acotar gift exchange 2023

[charmedreincarnation]

My experience with my waiting room 🌌🌌

What is a waiting room

Firstly, A waiting room is simpily just another reality within realities where individuals can transition between two different states of being. There are many variations of waiting rooms, but they all serve the same purpose – to bridge the gap between different realities. Personally for me as a permeant shifter, I will eventually make my current waiting room my new point of origin. That just basically means instead of going to heaven or coming back here after “death” or whatever I just go to my waiting room when I’m done with lives. But you can use it however you want, that’s just how I use mine. Or at least I will in the future. A lot of people use it to rest, learn, take mental breaks from various realities and etc :)! You can cater it to you however you like just as you would any other reality because that’s literally what it is.

My first shift to my waiting room

My first ever shift which I had no intentions of going to, was a waiting room of sort. I remember it was winter and I was balls deep into my seasonal depression and I was having a horrible time at work. I literally just wanted to die and I remember using a meditation to calm my crying down, and after a while I forgot about my emotions. I just asked the universe to show me anything atp to prove to me I’m not wasting my time with shifting and it does get better. After a while instead of hearing SpongeBob in the background I heard waves instead. I don’t know where the hell I was but it wasn’t my house anymore. I woke up at a beach, and I immediately knew it wasn’t a dream because I felt the warm sand on my body and when I got into the water, I felt the splash of my feet and saw my reflection clearly. Honestly I was experiencing vivid tranquility so I didn’t really care where I was. I just wasn’t sad or tired anymore. I ended up falling asleep on the beach for what felt like I couple of hours but before I did I just hoped I didn’t have to go to work the next day. Anyways I woke up back in this reality and well work got cancelled because of the weather even though it was not in the forecast. I don’t know if it was a random waiting room reality, or a wish void state of sort, but that was my first real out of body experience.

Anyways that’s not my real waiting room…

I became friends (online)with a sound engineer who got into shifting and wanted to use me as a test subject for a fool proof shifting subliminal using science and experiments. Well it obviously worked and I shifted to a real waiting room with intention! It was my first actual shift that I intended, and I was super happy. I spent a whole day there basically just exploring all my options. Switching the aesthetics of my waiting room like a phone case or something lol. I added various amenities, experimented spawning in people and various animals etc etc. after I came back I still had no idea what I wanted my waiting room to look like but I made this a problem for later tbh. It was a very enriching experience regardless :)

Here are the links to the subs btw sub 1, sub 2. you can also explore all the other subliminals he created, as he has a bunch !

after sometime I ended up meeting some super dope people who are all probably my twin flames and we have a group waiting room now. This makes more sense because it wasn’t the waiting room was that was the problem, I just don’t want to be alone and I love people! Plus I will spend a while in my wr and use it for essentially eternity so I’m glad I figured out my problem and filled it with awesome fulfilling people :)!

Anyways I know this wasn’t very long, vivid, or specific but I don’t spend much time in wrs as of now ..and very much use this reality as my break between realities. But if you have any more specific questions my asks are ofc open 💗

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #manifesting #law of attraction #reality shifting #shifting #shiftblr

[iravinirattu]

🧾 + smitten + cyno

⥽ • smitten.

. . in which CYNO is head over heels for you, and you have the audacity to doubt your beauty.

⥽ ~0.5k words. gn! reader. tw: body insecurities. ⥼

from z; i think sometimes i can get a little too caught up in wondering how the world perceives me. it's very easy to spiral into an endless chasm of am i good enough? do i look pretty enough? and it's an infinite chase of perfection that does not exist. as important as it is to not rely on others to determine your self worth, at times like that you really wish someone would tell you that you were enough.

and if you're feeling like that today, that person is gonna be me! if you've got something your upset about, hit me up! y'all are doing great, take care loves! ♡

to join; send me an emoji + a word + a character!

all you had done was look away, instinctively covering up your face when you'd giggled at one of his jokes.

"why do you do that? it hides your face. i can't see you laugh."

"i mean, yeah, that's sort of the point."

"why?"

you couldn't answer; you didn't know how. the question was simple, yet you found yourself looking away again.

ahh, you didn't mean to turn the mood gloomy. you were trying to think of something else to say, and-

"why?"

he held your chin, tilting your head to face him. the way he looked at you- his eyes were filled with earnesty, keeping you still, not letting you look away.

you couldn't escape, you couldn't lie either. he looked so genuinely curious, and you were trapped.

"i don't know. it's an instinct, i guess? i think i look a little worse for wear today, don't i?"

"you look like you always do. the most beautiful person i've laid my eyes on."

some would say that was cheesy, but to you, anything that came out of cyno's mouth was extraordinarily sweet. it was a talent of his, really.

nevertheless, you were skeptical.

"most beautiful in the world? really?"

the room turned deadly quiet. for a moment, you wondered if you'd said the wrong thing. the expression on his face was unreadable, and he was still staring at you intently, as if wording what he wanted to say next.

"i love the way your eyes look in the sun.

they are as brown as the earth after the year's first rain/ as blue as the sky sans clouds/ as green as a leaf that had just tasted dew/ as purple as the finest amethysts of the chasm/ as hazel as freshly picked honey/ as grey as a raging tempest.

i love the way your skin feels against mine.

it is as warm as the hearth on a cold winter day/ as frigid as the desert once the night sets. you are the shade of fine powder from a sandalwood tree/ milk chocolate dripping on summer's day/ a paneer rose in a child's hair/ palkova that is still kindling on the stove/ a raven's feather falling onto the ground.

i love the way your face is shaped, because it perfectly fits into my hands. i can cup it between my palms and kiss the bridge of your nose. you don't like the way your face is shaped? you wish you had/ didn't have a jawline? you wish your nose wasn't so? you wish it wasn't covered in scars/ freckles/ moles/ spots?

i suppose it is impossible to like everything about yourself. but i will not allow you to dislike them because you see them as flaws. you do not look perfect, because perfect does not exist. it is not something you need to attain.

every time i look at your face i melt. it doesn't matter if you are all dressed up, or if you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it doesn't matter if you are happy or sad or excited or mad.

as long as you are you, i will find beauty in everything you do."

#cyno #cyno x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact #⥽ • chaos and chasms

[starrybl1ss]

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

❄️:: ITS TIMEEE!!! December is around the corner and also my birthday! Since its winter, (not where i live) i made a little ellie winter edition fluff<3 IM SO PROUD OF THIS BTW!!!

warnings:: prob wrote smthn incorrectly, so sorry english isnt my first language

pairing:: ellie williams x f!reader

summary‎♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

you and ellie went on a snow date at the park and found an ice skating rink and went together.

"somethin' is in your eyes,

heaven in your eyes"

------------------------------------------------------

It was snowy out, you are so excited that today you get to wear your new fluffy snow boots out with ellie.

"done getting ready pretty?" ellie asks you while smiling infront of the door. "Yeah! Let's go!" You we're very enthusiastic. It was because you love winter.

Ellie grabbed your hand and you two went outside. "You look pretty today m'lady" she compliments you. "You look prettier!" You smiled playfully and hold ellie's face cupping them with both your hands. You saw her blush, 'she is so pretty...'

>

You and ellie arrived at the park, snow everywhere. So pretty. You looked around when suddenly ellie throws a snowball at you. "Hey!" You yelled. You quickly grabbed some snow and shaped it into a ball--whoosh! You threw it at ellie as she giggles at you missing. "Your bad at throwing" she said in a playful tone.

"Ellie! Look!" You pointed out an ice skating rink with a lot of locals enjoying. "An ice skating rink!" You continued excitingly. "I'm guessing you want to go skating don't you--pretty?" She smirked.

You smiled. Full of joy, ellie almost cried just seeing you happy because it makes her happy too.

You happly ran towards the ice skating rink. "Whoa! Slow down!" Ellie yells trying to keep up with you. "C'mon! Your so slow!" You tease her. You got there before ellie did. "Two skates please" you said to the employee. "Two..?" She asked trying to point out your alone.

You chuckled a bit "she's a little slow" you rolled your eyes and looked behind seeing ellie out of breath chasing you that made you giggle. "Ah alright! Two skates--here you go!" You grabbed the ice skates and sat on the bench about to put them on. "Are you serious?" Ellie asked. "Are you really not gonna ask me to put them on for you princess?"

Ellie grabs your skates and knees down infront of you putting the skates on for you. God shes so sweet. "Thank you" you replied after she puts them on, "your welcome sweetheart" she smiles patting your head and messing up your hair a little.

"Shall we?" Ellie lends you a hand as she got on the skating rink. You took her hand to the ice rink but almost you were wobbling and almost fell. "Easy there" she puts her hands around your waist stopping you from the fall.

"I'm scared..." you told her with your legs shaking. "It's okay my love, i won't let you go. Promise" she insured you. "You skated before els?" You lifted your head facing her since she was a bit taller than you are. "Yeah, a few times before-- here-" she lets go of you but holds one of your hands. "Okay, so- skating is simple. You just need to balance" she instructed you to follow her.

You were really scared of falling but you knew she would not let you go. You glided slowly while holding her hand. "Im getting the hang of this!" You smiled with joy. "Your doing good, just keep your balance okay?"

"Can you let me go els?" You asked. "You sure your good?" She looks down at you. "I'm sure" you insisted. "Are you sure sure?" She asked again. "I'm sure els, don't worry" she lets you go as you glide slowly on the ice with ellie watching your every move.

You suddenly felt it was too slippery and your legs began to shake-- and you fell. Ellie rushed to you and knees down. "Are you okay?" She asks in a shaky voice. "Im fin-" ellie then cuts you off "i'm so sorry, im so so sorry i didn't keep an eye on you, are you hurt? Are you fine? Its my fault i'm sorry love" she looks sad. "Ellie, it's okay. It's not your fault, im okay--see? Now let's get up"

Ellie got up with you "i'm not letting you go this time" she insisted. You chuckled "cmon els, i'm not five" you rolled your eyes. "Still not going to let you go. Ever"

The rest of the day went on beautiful. You had so much fun with ellie today, yet your now all tired cuddling ellie in the living room with the lights off.

★-

#Spotify #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #lesbian #Ellie williams fluff #Fluff fic

[ghost-bxrd]

Howdy!

Hope you’re having a owl-some day!

For your Court of Owls Au, I was wondering at what point does everyone accept Tim as part of the flock?

I saw one post that said Bruce takes him under his wing as soon as he realizes his parents go south for the winter (and fall, and spring, and summer lol) without him

And another that said that Cobb wouldn’t view him as part of the parliament until Jason does

I feel like Cass would probably probably love her little owlet brother pretty quick? He joined the fray before her so she wouldn’t have known a time before so I think she would be less inclined to think of him as a cuckoo. Do you agree?

I’m curious at what point Dick would. Canon Dick was teaching Tim flying patterns pretty soon after he accepted Tim as a mentee but Talon Dick had a stronger connection to Jason so I wonder how that would impact their relationship

I’d love to know what makes Jason accept him as a bird of a feather instead of seeing his presence as fowl play

Also would Cobb immediately accept him after Jason says Tim is a part of his party or would he have to do something that proves his loyalty or be in some sort of danger that makes Cobb begrudgingly view him as part of the family?

I’m also curious, once they do accept him, how protective of Tim are they all? Do they keep him close to the nest or let him fly free with the expectation that he keeps them in the loop?

How would they react to him being in danger after they’ve claimed him as one of their own?

(Sorry for all the bird puns, I made one and then couldn’t help myself and had to make more lol)

Hi! So the Talon!Dick Au (Owl Song) is a different universe than the one where the entire batfam is part of the Court of Owls (Court Family Au).

But to answer your question: Cobb would really only accept Tim after Jason has warmed up to him.

Before that, Cobb would only ever see him as an imposter. A poor substitute for the son ward him and Bruce lost. Him threatening to gut Tim was a very serious threat, and also one Bruce had to put his foot down with and straight up order his (slightly deranged) Talon not to act on.

Tim’s attempt to help stabilize the Court (and Bruce) doesn’t help his case very much, because while it sure improves the over all dire situation Gotham’s found herself in after Jason’s death, Tim unwittingly had to take over a lot of the operations and projects that used to be Jason’s.

Cobb was… very protective of the “little street rat” turned “Heart of the Court”. Having someone else “bully” their way into their lives to insert himself into the achingly vacant place Jason left behind dialed his murderous instincts up to a million.

The only reason Cobb doesn’t ignore the command to not hurt Tim is because he can see that both Bruce and Dick take comfort in his presence. That’s it. The moment he thinks Tim is “obsolete”… well. Timbers should keep himself useful is what I’m saying. There’s a proverbial sword of Damocles hanging over him at every step and turn.

As for Cass, she wouldn’t have very many contact points with Tim. She rarely stays at the manor for long, usually opting to oversee Court operations from the Shadows to make sure there are no unnecessary deaths or civilian casualties happening. When she’s home she usually also stays hidden, choosing to observe the manor’s occupants. And sometimes, when Dick or Bruce look particularly sad, she curls up in the seat next to them and leans her head on their shoulders. That always seems to make them happy.

Once Bruce finds out about Tim’s parents being a no-show most of the time and he moves into the manor… well, I think Cass would be intrigued, but everyone’s body language is sending her a lot of mixed signals in regard to the newcomer’s presence.

Dick doesn’t have an issue with Tim. He’s… less than happy about it at first though. Especially when he thinks Tim really is supposed to be a replacement for Jason. But Bruce clears that one up very quickly.

Regardless, Cobb doesn’t agree (he rarely does)

Jason would eventually, and very grudgingly, realize that Tim is the personification of a sad wet cat and extend an olive branch to him in the form of just— existing with him in the same room without spitting vitriol.

Tim straight up thinks he’s going to be murdered. Right now. (Because he can totally see Cobb staring at him from the shadows, he’s got a sixth sense for that look by now)

It’s a slow going progress, but over time Jason’s animosity towards Tim morphs into a fierce kind of protectiveness

And Cobb doesn’t like it, not at all. But Jason’s claimed the kid as part of the parliament, so he’s bound to accept him into the flock as well now.

I’m not sure yet whether Cobb ever truly ends up becoming protective and fond of Tim, but there would definitely have to be another catalyst for it.

#court family #court family au #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfam #tim drake #Cassandra Cain #William Cobb